#you lie about every facet of your personality and won’t let people see the real you bc you’re ashamed of her
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gregmarriage · 4 months ago
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claustrophobia combined with agoraphobia, is the stupidest shit in the world. like, oh, you’re going actually insane being stuck in the house all the time, due to your disability? oh, here’s sickening anxiety about leaving the house, like, wow, well done brain 👍🏻
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kangaroo-sniper-imagine · 4 years ago
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Engineer
Has lots and lots of questions; he is a man of learning and he is determined to fully comprehend every facet of your sexuality. It doesn’t even compute to him that it’s something others would find strange
If his questions make you uncomfortable, he’ll apologize profusely, explaining that he just wants to know everything so that he won’t have to ask you uncomfortable questions later and how he wants you to be comfortable with him about it now
Overall Dell is very understanding and loves you even more for trusting him enough to tell him
Medic
He nods and continues working. Lol but for real, Ludwig has studied just about every facet of the human being, body and mind, sexuality included. He may understand the textbook definitions and you can elaborate how you discovered this about yourself if you want, but Ludwig doesn’t see you exactly different
He’s understanding and plus side is you won't have to elaborate very much and he respects you regardless of what you identify as
To Ludwig it’s not particularly a huge deal, although he appreciates the courage it took to come out to him
Scout
Not gonna lie, it might take a bit for him to get it. He’s kinda like ��Both is an option?!” Like you just might lead him to his own Bi awakening. He was raised in Boston, which is like one of the most Catholic places EVER, and whatever feeling he had for the same sex he compansated with trying to get with the opposite.
He respects the hell out of you for being so open about it, and will take a bat (or fish) to anyone who tries to give you shit! You are his badass s/o and you can do whatever you want! Including liking dudes and chicks! (As long as you like him most)
Jeremy needs a bit of time to understand it in full, but after he gets it is like, obnoxiously supportive of you
Spy
You think this frog is straight? Lol. Jacque kinda figures, pulling deductions himself. Honestly was more worried you were going to break up with him when you said you two needed to talk and was hella relieved that you were just coming out to him
He understands that it takes guts to confess something like that, and to someone like him who remains annoyingly vague on where he stands on certain issues. He tells you he is proud of you for telling him and that he sees now as more of a stronger person for being able to be honest to yourself
Jacque is easily the most understanding out of all the mercs and appreciates your company more after coming out to him
Sniper
You say it suddenly and without prompt and spits out his coffee in surprise. After regaining his composer, he asks again for what you said and to elaborate. After you do, he takes a moment to digest all the information. He’s a sniper and a bushman, part of his expertise is being able to think and make decisions quickly
He decided to respond with, “Neat,” and goes back to whatever he was doing. Mick has met loads of people through his line of work, he’s not exactly shy to those who walk a different line. You’re still you, he just knows more about you now.
He’s not put off by it at all, and he tells you he appreciates that you told him. He ensures you that your trust was not misplaced and he thinks that being open with each other like that is going to deepen the bond between you
Soldier
Once it hits him that what you're telling him isn’t something that you tell just anyone, he treats it like the next national secret. He kinda simplifies your confession to “You like men and women but you’re with me” and he accepts it.
If anyone finds out and gives you hassle for it, Jane is NOT afraid to yell at the harasser until he’s blue in the face. There ain’t nothing wrong with liking ALL Americans! Even if Jane isn’t 100% knowledgeable about the complexities of your sexuality, he still respects it cuz he respects you
Best person to tell if you don’t want anyone to know; Jane takes his relationship with you VERY seriously and won’t ever do something on purpose to betray your trust. And if you want to come out to everyone, he’s right behind you! Emotionally, and physically, staring down all the others to make sure no one starts shit with his s/o
Heavy
After you come out, Mikhail is silent for a moment, then pulls you into a bear hug. He’s a little weepy, going over how much he loves you and how all this is is you showing him another wonderful part of yourself, and how it's wonderful because it's a part of you.
He’s read all sorts of books and stories about authors struggling with their sexuality, most of them not ending well, and he wants to let you know that whatever you are is great and that you are loved still. If your parents rejected you or you have bad experiences coming out to other people, Misha is overshadows all their hate with his all encompassing love
He just loves you so much it's adorable and ridiculous. All he wants is for you to be happy and to feel safe around him
Demo
Tavish takes a moment to absorb the information. He gets that your sexuality is important to you, and you telling him is a huge sign of trusting him, and he takes that very seriously. He feels almost bad for not having something as big as that to tell you in return so you’ll be on even ground again
He tells you he understands and he thanks you for telling him, he seems solemn for once and you understand he’s taking this extremely seriously. Tavish values your trust above all and this is like a sign to him that your relationship is now serious
Will straight up explodes anyone who bothers you about your sexuality. He’s earned the right to know by getting to know you and no asshole at the bar gets to belittle you for something you take pride in. He fucking adores you and no one gets to be a dick to you
Pyro
Pyro loves you no matter what! You could be bi, straight, hell, a serial killer for all he cares, all they care about is they you two are together
Doesn’t really understand why you were so worried about telling them. Once you explain that others dislike/hate you just because your bi, they become kinda quiet and have a moment of, “I’m going to protect you with my life now cuz the world is shittier than i even imagined.” You’re his s/o, you could do no wrong. Ergo, being bi isn’t wrong
Loves you regardless of what your sexuality is, but doesn’t understand the importance of it to you. Totally willing to burn some jag off who gives you shit as a symbol of his devotion to you
- I didn’t do the gender fluid because i am not 100% certain upon the semantics of it (not that I don’t respect it) so i just stuck to the bi thing cuz as one, I’m more acquainted with it-
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thejudgingtrash · 4 years ago
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would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input
Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?
Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^
It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.
Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!
Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)
As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.
Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?
Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 
The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.
There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.
What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.
The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.
Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.
TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).
The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.
Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.
Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.
To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.
Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^
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transgenderbenders · 3 years ago
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Hello! I can out as trans ftm to my mom yesterday, but she didn’t react too well. She said that we’ll continue to talk about it tonight. Do you have any tips/resources on how to convince her that being trans is a real thing and that I’m not making it up? Thank you :)
Hey! Mod Samantha here- so there's a lot to touch on here, so please let me start with Im so sorry that you're going through this. Its never easy to have a parent reject a part of who you are. I think that what is helpful is helpung parents see that this is always who you've been, regardless of what they thought, you know who you are, and you know that you're a male. Being trans is a documented phenomena since the beginning of time, in cultures world wide. The advent of the gender binary was one of many ideologies that were spread by the british and spanish empire via colonization, but in Africa theres reports from colonizers of "men in women's garb being kept with the wives", a trans ftm pharroh (this is disputed by historians, but Hatshepsut chose to have his image inscribed masculinely and reffered to with male pronouns, this was redacted by their successor, but records survived), native american cultures, australian aborigines, hawaaian natives they all have more than two genders. More than two genders was even recognized in the old testament of the bible. Trans people are born world wide every day, regardless of income, race, religion, physical ability, social acceptance, ability to transition, etc. They have tried to kill us for centuries, anon, and we are Still Here, because the trans experience is innately a facet of the Human Experience. Trans is natural, regardless of what colonizers spread. They also spread racism, misogyny, bigotry, intollerance in all forms, despite Jesus preaching love these teachings have been debased in so many ways. Speaking directly to your mom now, your son is going through a tumultuous time right now. Regardless of whether or not you support trans people, or believe in our existence, your son has taken the terrifying risk of sharing something so absolutely personal as this. He has risked your scorn, your vitriol, your judgement, because you seeing him for who he truly is was more important than preserving a lie. Please do not deny him your love and support. Please be there for him, support him anyway you can, any way he needs. There is few things more detrimental to the mental health of anyone, let alone a trans person, than losing parental figures. My father stopped speaking with, i lost my grandma, i am distanced from many of my family members, and for what? None of it has changed my gender, none of it helped my dysphoria, none of it made me doubt or regret coming out. If you push him away, if you meet him with cruelty, you will not change this sacred truth. You will only lose your child. I know its hard, i know its scary, i know its confusing, but trust him to tell you who he is. Would he tell you something like this if he wasnt sure? Knowing the persecution that trans people face, even now? My friend, please hear me on this, this world is cruel enough to us, do not add to that pain. Your son needs you now more than ever, that I can promise you.
Im wishing you the best. If youd like to dm please send in a message off anon and ill give you my discord username. No matter the outcome of this conversation you won't be alone, i promise you.
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jimimn · 4 years ago
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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333
HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)
YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤
CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW
SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗
12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU
HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)
FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS
LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️
YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨
NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖
OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺
AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO
AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.
BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫
FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((
that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭
LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????
OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 
YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 
AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33
AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((
AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine
AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌
GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL
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silica-sunset · 4 years ago
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Whumptober Day 3 - Held at Gunpoint
1.4k words of a far cry cult au
CW: gun violence, major (resistance member) character death, graphic depictions of strangulation
Rook only has himself to blame for the position he’s in, on his knees with his hands zip tied behind him. He knew it was stupid, knew there was no way Nick wanted to have a parley with him without ill-intent. But Nick was his favorite of the people he left behind and even though he tried to kill who he was before, he couldn’t kill the part of himself that loved Nick. He was Rook’s weak point, the one person he refused to hurt, and Rook knew the sooner he got the Rye family out, the faster Rook could help tear the county apart without that bit of hesitation getting in the way. He wanted so badly to save his old friend that he went against his gut, suffered through John’s jealousy-fueled sullen silences and bursts of anger just to ensure Nick and Kim would have safe passage out of Hope County. 
He knew something wasn’t right when he pulled up outside their home, but determination always made him stupid. Rook couldn’t trust anyone else to make sure they got out all right, and he paid the price for it in the form of a bat to the back of the head when he stepped out of his truck. He was unconscious before he could even hit the dirt.
His head hurts like a motherfucker when someone finally kicks him awake, hard enough to break his ribs. Someone behind him lifts him roughly upright again when the kick forces him onto his side, jostling his pounding skull and his aching shoulders. The nausea is overwhelming and the stomach acid burns his esophagus when he pukes it up on the floor in front of him. There’s a sound of disgust and he blearily looks up. He’s near the arcade machine in the Spread Eagle and Mary May is standing in front of him. He hasn’t seen such contempt since the night he walked out of this place and joined Eden’s Gate. Not even the Peggies hate him this much, and he’s killed way more of them.
“Did you enjoy your time with them?” Mary May spits. Her body lurches with the force of her fury but the shotgun in her hands doesn’t waver from where she points it at Rook’s head. “Did you get what you wanted?”
Her eyes tell it all: no matter what he says, she’s going to kill him. She just wants to hear him admit he made a mistake, that he’s sorry and beg for his life, that he should’ve known better than to trust Joseph Seed. That he regrets all the Resistance members he’s killed. He won’t give her the satisfaction because there isn’t any to give. 
“Yeah. I did,” Rook says. It’s just the honest truth. He always suspected he was going to die in Hope County and he can finally say that he doesn’t feel like it’ll be a waste. Even the brief involvement he had in the Project felt more meaningful than anything else he’s done in his wretched life. He’ll go to his grave absolved of his sins by the only people that matter. He will miss Boomer though. “You know you’re going to die for this, right? I don’t care that you’re going to kill me, but the Father definitely will. John will raze Fall’s End to ashes before the week is over.”
“Let him try,” she hisses, “I’ll kill him too.”
Rook laughs, body slumping. He tries to test the restraints and feels blood trail sluggishly down his hands from where the skin near his wrists has been rubbed raw. “Yeah, right. I’m the only person who ever stood a chance at killing John. The second I joined them, you lost any chance you ever had at winning.”
“You shut your mouth.”
“You never could handle the truth.” He tugs harder at the zip tie. “Some outsider nobodies managed to hold your entire fucking county hostage, and your only hope of salvation was the National Guard. And when that didn’t work out, your second best chance was another outsider nobody, just some rookie cop with a hobby for firearms. You all are Weak, running around like children with the most ass-backwards priorities -”
“Shut the hell up, Rook! We were managin’ just fine before you showed up.”
Rook laughs again - meaner, full of violence. “You can lie to yourself all you want. I’m right like I was right that night weeks ago. You guys couldn’t make a single goddamn dent in the cult’s firepower.”
“Shut up -!”
There’s the sound of wood splintering just as Mary May takes a step forward. He may have a concussion but he still has muscle memory. He snaps the zip tie as he hears a shot ring out. He doesn’t turn to see who the shooter is; he’s either going to get shot in the back or the head, and he’ll take being shot in the back if it means he gets to kill Mary May first. He grabs the barrel of her shotgun while she’s distracted, shoving it forward so the stock hits her directly in the nose. There’s the crunch that he’s become so accustomed to hearing in his few months here and a fountain of blood as she stumbles back in pain. He wobbles when he gets up but he uses that momentum to tackle her.
They hit the ground hard. There’s more shots, more bodies falling around them. The adrenaline drowns out everything that isn’t Mary May’s shocked and bloody face. Rook wraps his hands around her throat, putting all his weight behind it. She claws at his arms, long nails leaving aching grooves, and it’s hard to keep his grip with his hands slick with blood, but if this is the last thing he’ll have the opportunity to do, he’s going to make sure he finishes the job. 
“You think you can kill me?” Rook demands, close enough to her face that her desperate gasping hits his lips. He feels Mary May’s windpipe cave under his palms. “The Guardian of the Father? The executor of his Will? You can’t fucking kill me!” He doesn’t realize he’s evolved into wordless, feral yelling until her arms stop trying to push him away and her body stills.
There’s a hand on Rook’s shoulder and he whips around, falling off Mary May’s body onto the floor, nauseated again. He looks up and there’s John, his messy hair haloed by the ceiling lights. It’s the closest he’s ever felt to seeing something holy in his life. If God is real, He brought them together for this specific moment.
“Rook, are you all right?”
“I think I have a concussion, maybe some bruised ribs.” Rook gestures vaguely at the body next to him. “Better than her though.”
John starts to help Rook up, supporting him when Rook stumbles to his knees and retches again. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go to Nick goddamn Rye,” John says tersely. 
“Lucky for us, the Resistance is short-sighted. If they had any sense, they would’ve killed me the second I was in their crosshairs.”
“They’ll never get the chance again.” John leads them out of the Spread Eagle and puts Rook into the passenger seat of a cult truck. “Jacob has found the Wolf's Den, Faith is closing in on the prison, and I am about to burn this place to the ground.” 
Rook sees other cars around their own, cultists with absurd amounts of fire power hefting C4 and gasoline out of truck beds. Hearing that everything is falling into place all at once settles something within him. He makes a grab for John’s hand across the center console after John starts the engine. Blood transfers from Rook to John, looking black in the night. “Thank you. For saving me.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again,” John promises. He intertwines their fingers and squeezes once before letting go to get them back to the ranch. “There’s a doctor waiting for you. It was only supposed to be a precaution, but trouble always seems to find you.”
“Being the attack dog of a cult will do that,” Rook says. He means no malice when he says it, simply stating a fact. And he’s not mad about it; he’s accepted it as easily as he’s accepted every other new facet of his life as it’s come about. He wouldn't say he’s happy, because he doesn't know if his mind remembers what that’s even like anymore, but he’s something. Content, at the very least.
Injuries aside, it’s a pretty okay life.
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sightofsea · 5 years ago
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Twenty minutes of walking, two bus stops, and one amicably awkward rideshare later, I arrived back in Zenabe Court soaking wet. I squelched up the stairs, footsteps heavy. If Mal noticed anything, she was either too busy to say it or knew to stay inside. When I opened the door I found Clementine lying in the tub, one hand holding a cigarette and the other holding out a map, no doubt of the underground.
She glanced over at me quickly. "You're dripping on the carpet," she observed.
"/Really/," I seethed. "I hadn't noticed."
She took a drag and set the map down. "I hope your journey wasn't too long," she said.
"Oh, no," I said, slipping off my jacket and wringing it out. "No, no. Once I got out of the river, I managed to find a way up. Turns out I was in Lents. All the way across town. Not a long journey at all."
"Glad to hear it." Her eyes were glued to the map, near orange in the lamplight. "If it isn't the fae at work, then what is it? Something to do with the Underground but I can't..." She turned the map this way and that, as if to gleam some new information, and growled when she came up with nothing. "What /is/ it?"
"Wish I could help," I told her. "But I think I'm going to take a hot shower instead, what with being /pushed into a river/. Yeah, a nice hot shower should do it."
She looked at me, finally. "You're angry."
"Oh, you picked up on that?"
"I had to push you in. People not initiated into the Underground are prohibited."
I took to taking off my socks then, wringing them out over the kitchen sink. "You could have been there when I got out."
"I had urgent research," she stated.
I looked at her, lounging in the tub. "This was urgent?"
Clementine frowned. "In this case, every second is urgent. I don't have time to waste."
I sighed. "Clementine," I started, "a little help, that's all I needed. And maybe a little warning. I mean, if a friend did that you, wouldn't you be pissed?"
"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "Never really had friends."
She had a look, a kind of openness in her eyes. Like she was challenging me to disagree with her. She wanted a fight, she wanted the words "what about me?" to come out of my mouth. But I was angry, and rightfully so, and I wasn't in the mood for feeding whatever facet of her ego she was nursing tonight.
So instead, I finished wringing out my sock and said, "I suppose you're right." I gave her a tight smile. "I'll see you in the morning. Have fun with your research."
I stalked into the bathroom, and glared at the trapdoor above. I couldn't waste anymore time being angry, though. I stunk of sewage, was crusting in weird places, and nothing did sound better than a hot shower, and some rest.
***
The next morning I came out, and Clementine was still in her tub. "Don't you have a crick in your neck?"
"I don't get cricks," she replied coolly. She was studying a book now, I noticed. "There's coffee if you need it."
I turned to the kitchen to find not only the coffee machine on, but a cup set out. I took a hesitant sip--black, one spoon of sugar. Just the way I liked it, and piping hot. I turned back to Clementine, who was no longer reading her book, but looking at me with an arm slung over the tub. "How did you--this was just made, how did you know?"
"I'm a keen observer. And your body clock is the most rigid I've seen," she said, and smiled. It wasn't a clever smile, because she wasn't trying to be smart. It was softer, and it struck something odd in my chest.
I smiled back. "Thank you?"
She went back to her book, looking satisfied, and I went to start making breakfast. In any other setting it wouldn't have been enough, but I knew an apology when I saw one, and with her it didn't feel subpar. It almost felt natural.
We continued to look at the case from all angles--still nothing. The three victims had nothing in common--in a city as small as this they managed to be from completely separate neighborhoods, separate races, mixed gender presentation, they didn't even have jobs in the same general area of service. Clementine yelled out these frustrations as I ate my breakfast, brushed my teeth, and got ready for work, and I yelled my frustrations back. The sooner we could solve the case the better. I wasn't exactly an expert in this yet, but the amount of the dead ends was getting to me, and getting to Clementine as well.
"It has to do with the Jasper," she said as I pulled on my vest. "It has to. Why else would he attack the night I took it on?"
I shrugged. "Might be, yeah. What do you think he would have to do with it?"
"He's always looking to gain something. Power, mostly. He's...hungry. Always." Something dark passed over her. "I just can't seem to /find/ it."
I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. "I'm going to work," I told her. "I'll be back in the few hours. Just don't, uh. I don't know. Get yourself killed, while I'm gone."
"I'll try," Clementine mumbled, staring at the board, and I went to work.
***
Clementine settled loudly into the one of Mal's kitchen chairs. The scent of slow cooked meals and herbs fresh from the soil calmed her, as much as she could be calmed. She tapped her foot against the floor and stared up at the ceiling. Small trinkets hung suspended from nails in the ceiling, rabbits feet and bundles of twigs and flowers that never seemed to wilt. But she did not concentrate on that--instead she looked at the stains from spells gone wrong, the cracked and mottled plaster. Yes, here was something Will had not touched. Here was something free of grief. She hummed.
Mal looked up from her pot. "What?"
Clementine blinked, head turning to Mal "Your ceiling needs repainting."
"I know."
"Then why haven't you repainted it?"
"Well," said Mal, one hand on her hip. Her face wore something like annoyance. Perhaps rage. "Let's consider." That usually wasn't a good start. "Option one: I hire someone. Who do you think is gonna be alright with all of this?" She gestured to the trinkets, the smoke, the various Parts in various Jars.
Clementine shrugged. "Looks alright to me."
"You need to get out more."
"Will takes me out plenty." Something panged in her chest. "Took me out."
"Go out again."
She picked are her nails. "Not interesting."
Mal sighed. "Ok. Well that leads us to option two: I do it myself."
"And why haven't you?"
Mal smiled something seethingly sweet. "You know, as much as I would /love/ to paint my own ceiling, I do find myself a bit preoccupied."
Clementine frowned. "With what?" Mal stared at her. Yes, it was definitely rage now. "What?"
"You are a child for all the years you carry on your back."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Who's been cooking for you? Cleaning for you? Does all your dirty work when you come home in the middle of the night from who knows where? I swear, I do it because I love you, and with Will being--" Clementine waited for her to say it, make it something real, but the word got stuck in Mal's throat. She looked down. Her voice came out wet and ragged. "I miss her too. You're not the only person having a hard time. Just because you were in love her doesn't mean you're the only one grieving her."
/Love/.
This was a subject Clementine had a harder time dealing with. Death was familiar, and mostly inevitable. Clementine didn't have a problem with death or anything surrounding it. Even Will's death. Hell, they could have talked about the inner workings of the bomb itself and it would have been easy territory.
But love? That was an animal Clem had met once, and she didn't expect the mauling it gave her to still ache so tenderly. She wondered how people carried on like this, so ruled by one emotion. She barely withstood it when Will was alive, and now?
Now, well.
Mal was still looking at her. Clementine realized she hadn't responded yet with anything. She swallowed, tried to recover.
"You know I don't do love."
"I know you lie. I lie. It's what we /do/."
Clem crossed her arms and tried to hold back the thickness welling up inside of her. She looked at the pattern of the wallpaper. Begonias. How Mal. "I don't want to lie anymore."
"Me either," Mal stated. "That's why I'm telling you this: I'm sick and tired of your moping. I understand it, but it won't do you any good. Make something for yourself. Make something /of/ yourself. I will support you in any way I can, but I'm not cooking for you any longer. I'm not cleaning for you." She turned back to stirring her pot. "If I have leftovers, however, you are free to a Tupperware. But--" She pointed a greasy spoon at Clem's face. "One of the small ones. And don't be thinking I won't sneak a stray claw or tail in there if you ask too much."
Clementine smiled, but it faded quickly. "I do apologize," she said.
"That's new."
"What I mean to say is...you mean a great deal to me. To have a, um." She sighed. "Will was better with these sorts of things."
Mal smiled. "No she wasn't."
Clementine thought about a face in the dark. /I turned off the monitors. I knew what I had to do./ She thought about the bridge. "No she wasn't." She breathed through her nose, set her legs wide and weighed her elbows on them. She resolutely looked to the floor. "Still. If she were here, I imagine she would say something about, um. You, being a sort of, of mother figure to me, about how I never had one. If she knew anything about that time of my life, she would say that." She breathed in again. "And she would also say something about how you are passionate and caring towards the people you love, to which she would tell me to say something the lines of, um. Of." She looked up. "I'm sorry. Thank you for making me one of those people."
***
Will stood out on the shore. Usually she was too drunk for words, but drunk courage had bested drunk cowardice for once, and the sun shone on her bravely, the beach open and unmanned.
"So," she started, feet waltzing with her words. "Clementine. The thing is, I have liked you quite a lot lately. Not voluntarily, of course. Not that you're not wonderful, but I didn't exactly--exactly, yknow, stumble into being your roommate with the expectation of, oh, yeah, I'm in love. Not that I /am/ in love." She considered that statement. The ocean patiently lapped at the shore. "At least, if you don't want me to be. I certainly don't want me to be, but that's less on you and more on me, if I'm honest. Like, really honest. Because? Like, if I'm honest? My heart is like, warm beside you, and that's great, but when you're gone it's just. Well, it's the worst. Heart all cold. The day, just...ruined, really."
She looked around. Families existed as far off dots along the coastline. All she had here to witness were the harvest picked sun and the sound of the waves. She continued.
"You know, you kissed me. Like, a long time ago. And you tend to forget things from that long ago, but still. It happened. If I was braver--" Will paused. If she had been braver, there were a great many things that could have happened. The mere idea filled her with a mixture of excitement and sadness. "If I had known anything I would've kissed back. But I didn't, I just...thought it was new and interesting and, and dangerous. So I didn't do anything. I wish, though, I wish I could've. God damn, I wish."
She looked out at the sea. "I wish you were here," she said, quietly. She looked down at the glass in her hands and traced the ring of light on the rim. "I wish you were here, instead of off--wherever. Wherever I cannot find you." She finished her circle, then started another. "I miss you."
No one answered. The waves kept rolling. Will knocked back the rest of her drink, stared out at the horizon for...something. Anything. When she didn't find it, she turned on her heels and started her journey back.
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aras-fanfics-andstuff · 5 years ago
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Allow Me This
Levi Ackerman x Reader (Female)
Synopsis: Recently dethroned Princess Y/N goes to see Levi off as he leaves with the Scouts to retake Wall Maria. 
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Author’s Note: ((I’m thinking about doing a few oneshots using this little idea that the Reader is the False King Fritz’s daughter. In future shorts I plan to include more story background, but I just want to throw some fluff out there to get the ball rolling. Let me know what you think!))
Y/N was in a sentimental mood, reflecting on how she got to be where she was now: riding horseback with the love of her life to the eastern gate of Wall Rose. She’d be watching him leave to retake Wall Maria, and though she didn’t want to appear untrusting of Levi’s skills, she was worried.
It’d been five long years since Y/N and Levi met, when Y/N was still a Princess and Wall Maria was still humanity’s. Y/N supposed she’d always felt something for Levi, beginning with just a general interest in the strongest Survey corps member but quickly evolving into the deep, enduring love she felt for him now. For awhile they hadn’t even acknowledged their feelings for each other, because of Y/N’s status and Levi’s lack thereof. After Trost, though, the floodgates broke. The two fell desperately in love and kept their relationship a secret from anyone that wasn’t Erwin and Pixis until recently. Now that Y/N was no longer royalty, marriage was suddenly on the table. Unfortunately, things were getting intense on the front lines of the fight against the titans, making the present an inopportune time to tie the knot. The Scouts needed Levi, and his conscience wouldn’t allow him to leave the war unwon. Y/N respected that wholeheartedly. Still, there was an ache in her heart when she thought of Levi going outside the wall to almost certainly meet the both Armored and Colossal Titans at once. Y/N sat behind Levi on his black horse, arms clasped tightly around his midsection. It was the first day that they’d be open to the general public about their relationship, and as they rode past people in the streets, it was clear that they had the support of the citizens. Y/N smiled as she squeezed Levi’s torso fondly and listened to all of the encouragement being shouted to the Scouts. “Good luck!” one woman shouted, cradling a baby to her chest as she waved with a brilliant smile. “Come back in one piece this time!” “Captain Levi, you can do it!” a man called. Y/N felt Levi shift to look in the direction of the shout, and she loosened her hold on him. The man who’d shouted at them seemed to notice the Captain’s attention and turned to grin at Y/N. “Don’t you worry, Ex-Princess. He’ll come back for you. Nothin’s gonna keep him from a dame like you for long.” Y/N giggled as Levi’s eyes shot daggers at the man, who now looked terrified. The shouts of encouragement continued as they made their way to the base of the wall when the lifts were, and Y/N leaned forward to press her lips against Levi’s ear. He leaned back into her embrace. “You guys are getting one hell of a sendoff,” she observed. Levi nodded. “The thought of ending this nightmare is keeping everyone going. It also helps that Historia’s been doing so much for the impoverished. Most of these people have been living in shitty conditions for years, and how much things have improved even in the short time the council’s been gone is being noticed.” He rested his eyes back on Erwin’s horse in front of them. “None of this would be possible without you, Y/N.” She blushed. “Levi,” Y/N began, but her lover interrupted her. “It’s true, princess,” he started, using his only ‘pet name’ for her to quell her resistance. “Historia has no idea what she’s doing, even though she has honorable intentions. It’s you that does the paperwork and deals with money behind the castle walls. Historia’s a good kid, but she doesn’t understand shit about the government. Without your experience, her good ideas wouldn’t even get off the ground. Give yourself some credit.” A little smile pulled at the corners of Y/N’s mouth. “You’re the best, Levi.” She rested her hand over his on the reins, and he moved his thumb to caress her wrist. “Historia’s very grateful for your kindness to her, you know. She’s glad she can help kids that were in the same situation as you.” “Tch,” Levi huffed as the horse came to stop next to Hanji’s. He seemed flattered. “Like I said... she’s a sweet kid.” Levi slid off the side of his horse and offered Y/N help to get down as well. Once her feet were firmly on the ground, the two of them walked hand-in-hand to the lift with the horse and led it inside. Hanji followed, and offered Y/N a grin. “Good to see ya, Y/N,” she said cheerily. “You too, Hanji. Good luck out there, with the thunder spears. Come back alive, won’t you?” Y/N answered. “If not for my sake, for humanity’s.” “You can count on it,” Hanji replied as she fixed her glasses. “I’ve got to... talk to Erwin. I’ll be back.” She glanced around, seemingly unaware of where she’d actually go to accomplish her task. After a moment, she walked away aimlessly. “She’s trying to give us some space,” Levi spoke as Y/N turned back to face him. “I know,” she returned softly. The two of them were silent for a moment, unsure of how to start the conversation that might be their last. After a pregnant pause, Y/N lessened the distance between them, taking Levi’s hand in hers and pressing it to her heart. “Promise me you’ll use your intuition. You’ll do whatever you need to do without a second thought.” “I do that implicitly,” Levi assured her almost noncommittally. “Don’t insult me.” “I’m not trying to,” Y/N asserted, eyebrows arching. Her Y/H/C locks blew across her face, and she pushed them out of her way with her free hand. “I didn’t really say that for you, I guess. I’m just helping myself come to terms.” “With what?” Levi stepped closer to her, moving his hand from her chest to her arm. “With... the fact that you might have to make a judgement call that won’t bring you back to me.” Y/N’s shimmering eyes searched Levi’s, finding the first real trace of fear she’d seen in him for awhile. He squeezed her arm in what might have been an attempt at an apology before pulling her into his embrace. His pointed chin nestled into the place where her neck met her collarbone, and he buried his nose in her hair. “I love you, Y/N. I fully intend on coming back alive and with the truth about the titans. And then, when I can say I’ve done everything I’m capable of to end the war with a clear conscience...” The soldier paused, processing the weight of his next statement. “I’ll ask you to marry me.” A blush colored Y/N’s cheeks as her hands gripped Levi’s cloak. “You’re being awfully optimistic,” she observed with a grim huff. “Don’t lie on my behalf.” “Allow me this,” Levi murmured, lips against her neck. “Let me leave knowing you believe in me. Y/N, please.” Y/N leaned away from Levi’s chest to look him in the eyes. His stormy blues were submissive, pleading even. They scanned her face for any sign of her leanings, to see if she might grant his only request. “I believe in you, Levi. You have my heart,” Y/N assured her dark-haired paramour. She pressed her forehead to his, positioning her hands to cradle his face. “My love is yours, no matter what happens.” A shaky sigh fell through Levi’s lips, and without further hesitation he pressed his mouth to Y/N’s. His calloused hands pulled her down into his kiss and she knew better than to resist when every single bone in her body unreservedly lured her closer to him. It was a gentler parting kiss than Y/N expected. Levi had exposed the most guarded facet of his personality to her that day: his endearing hope of a future together was laid bare before her. He tenderly poured the emotions he was trying to convey into each of his movements; every caress and purse of his lips carried an intense affection that weighed so heavily on Y/N that her legs felt weak. They stepped back from each other reluctantly upon hearing Erwin give the command for the next lifts to go up. Levi stepped onto the platform with Hanji, who’d returned unnoticed, and Y/N shut the lift door behind them. Levi grasped her hands over the railing before she could pull away. “I’ll come home to you soon. That’s a promise.” Y/N nodded, a smile manifesting on her face out of a strength she didn’t know she had. “I’ll be waiting for you.” As the lift began to rise, their hands separated. The unlikely-yet-inevitable pair stared longingly after each other until Y/N couldn’t even see Levi’s shape anymore. She reluctantly stepped back to find her ride back to the palace, but something stopped her. Peasants who hadn’t given a damn about the Scouts for years were now shouting their undying support to the heroes now positioned on top of the walls. Smiling people with food and well-mended clothing lined clean streets and waved to the soldiers who, for once in a century, had an authentic, genuine chance at gaining some ground. This had been a dream since before Y/N was born, and it was finally here. Her eyes rested on a figure she knew to be Levi on top of the wall. He stood next to Erwin, who’d just yelled so loud that everyone in the streets paused for a moment, then yelled back to him. A grin spread on Y/N’s face, and she joined the peasants in their war-cry until the call-and-response died out when Scouts started to descend the outer side of the wall. A tiny warmth grew in the dethroned royal’s heart. It’s about time, Y/N thought to herself, clutching her jacket tightly against her form. It’s about time that we start winning. She pressed her fingers gently to her lips, where Levi had just kissed her with such a desire and promise in his touch. It was a kiss she’d cherish for the rest of her life. It’s time that we can all fall in love without worrying about tomorrow.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Check out the list of fandoms I write for here. Send me a request! Thanks for reading!
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greatestmanblog · 5 years ago
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THE ANTI-VIRTUES OF POSITIVE MASCULINITY
Exploring the different virtues not conducive to the health of your masculine expression. Bolded are the anti-virtues, what follows in the brackets is different insights and distinctions, or other commentary around the theme of the anti-virtue being highlighted. Some food for thought for the manosphere after a longtime.
X - sloth  [sloppy on the outside is sloppy on the inside, clean on the outside is “cream” on the inside;  take it how you want, but one thing is a given—you’ll never meet a man who’s got a great, healthy, powerful self-image of himself that dresses crappy and acts sloppy or otherwise carries himself in a dull manner;  no, a man of true value treats himself as such—in manner, in deed and in virtue…fresh as f*ck]
X - laziness  [“the lazy man walks the same road twice”;  why waste your time and energy?;  value your time and energy (which if you don’t already, I promise you, having a purpose and path of pursuit for your life will definitely make you value your time and energy);  when you do value your life like this, your life begins to take on more power and expression;  every single person who values their life has life valuing them back, watch for this next time you meet such a person, chances are they take a lot of action in their life and have a lot of “rewards” to show for it;  action is what creates your life and living is a ‘verb’ so get moving because your laziness is your self-destruction]
X - entitlement  [does nothing for you and literally robs you of your personal progress;  it’s okay to setup a positive expectation for the way you view things and the outlooks you have on life and the people that you interact with, but never make demands of things that are not yours to begin with nor things that you have yet to earn—it sets up a bad precedent for your own psychology and leads you astray;  you have right to yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your choices, your body, your energy and the things that are generated by all of that, all the rest let it be & let it flow however it wants to;  you have a right to yourself, consume yourself with the knowledge of that and demand the best out of yourself]
X - passivity  [masculinity, the male essence, by virtue is the active principle in life so to allow yourself to be too passive in the way you go about your experience of life is unhealthy to say the least;  you want to stay active, stay in motion, stay flowing with the very juice that makes more of you;  go take the world full-on with the fullness of your desires, dreams, determinations;  there is a notion in sex consciousness that says how a man fucks his woman is how he fucks the world, meaning to say that how you relate to your own sexuality is a direct correlation to how you live your life;  just think about the potential of that one;  chances are that if you are a passive lover as a man then you are probably pretty passive in taking on your dreams and goals and not much is happening to move the needle forward in your life;  your passivity could lead to you being extremely stuck in life, think about it…]
X - immaturity  [is behaving like a child, not to be confused with being playful or spirited, and blaming others for not having your needs being met;  whining, complaining, tantrums, hissy-fits and other self-absorbing behavior is indicative of acting as a child;  to do so as a child is one thing, but to continue this sort of behavior well into your adult years is very unhealthy;  part of being a mature realized adult is working with and knowing the power you do have to make way for yourself and how you want to live;  you only enable your lack of power if you act immaturely;  an adult always takes responsibility for him/herself and are at cause for what’s transpiring in their world]
X - irresponsibility  [is not acknowledging your ability to respond to things in healthy, constructive, empowering manner;  also can be defined as carelessness and a refusal to hold yourself accountable for what you are required to do, whether they are family obligations or personal obligations that you have committed yourself for;  if you give someone your word that you will do something or follow through on some course of action then you better make sure that you are following through on that promise, otherwise you are being irresponsible]
X - irrationality  [lack of clear thought;  easily duped into other people’s ways of thinking;  unoriginal thought;  being a puppet and pawn to other people’s agendas;  hero-worship, to make anyone outside of yourself your hero is to give away your power to an outside source—and giving away your own power by choice is definitely irrational behavior, you are your own hero so step into that;  learn to think for yourself and see through bullshit, including your own delusions;  critical thinking is a must in this day and age of misinformation;  on the opposite end of irrationality is discernment, a discerning man is a wise man indeed, make your eye a discerning one]
X - indecision  [people don’t often waver when they know who they are and where they are going;  when you have deep inner confidence stemming up from the depths of your integrated character, you can quickly make important decisions without looking back on them in doubt and are slow to make a move to reverse those appropriately considered yet quick decisions;  indecision either comes from fear or a lack of trust you have on your ability to make the best decisions for yourself (which begets a weakness of character)—you don’t want that;  have character & be decisive, stand by those convictions unless you realize you were severely off-base (if you were, then immediately decide to course-correct and you’ll come out on top)]
X - dependent  [un-self-sufficient;  your cup is not full so you dip into others cups to fill up your own, which is not only unsustainable but asking for trouble—you’re playing not to lose, which ultimately is playing to lose; depend on yourself and go for the win;  also, dependent behavior taken too far is parasitic behavior, you’re just leaching off of others resources ultimately resulting in lose-lose situations across the board;  the best longterm strategy is developing your own sense of independence in life, work towards it if you are behind the eight-ball, you cannot go wrong]
X - ego/unaware  [closed-minded, narrow-minded, one-sided, unconscious expression of self;  you just don’t want to see yourself, and if you are choosing that then you won’t ever see what you’re made of and what you could set out to achieve;  be brave, see yourself in all it’s facets—the good, the bad, the ugly, the great—it will allow you to see more of life too;  never be afraid of the truth especially of the man in the mirror and what you see reflecting from it;  see it and see everything]
X - sociopathic  [no empathy;  unable to feel self and, by extension, definitely not others;  that is not a good thing and it is very severely damaging of your ability to experience lasting happiness and fulfillment;  cultivate the richness and depth of feeling otherwise you’re just a robot…or a serial-killer;  allowing yourself to feel things including deep pain is invaluable to your growth and your experience of the living world;  feeling is life;  don’t you want to feel alive?;  feel the electricity of the energy pulsing through your veins, the aliveness of your own vitality and strength and purpose…]
X - abusive  [not physically, not emotionally, not mentally, not in any way is a real man about that;  cowards are abusive, not real men;  cowards choose such a demeaning and low route to sustain themselves;  don’t do it to anyone, not even yourself;  respect yourself, create the highest sense of meaning and esteem about who you think you are or want to be—and by default, you’ll automatically bestow that esteem and respect on everyone else;  but first you, create your own deeper, truer sense of self-worth that profound affects how you do everything else]
X - narcissism  [thinking too highly of yourself without consideration for anything else—aka “buying your own hype”;  as a rule, never buy your own hype, it’ll actually keep you stronger as an individual, more even keel and able to act on your own merit, and if you have (the aforementioned) real self-worth then you’d actually have no need to be narcissistic in the first place because the awareness of your true self would govern you, not some false fabricated front of high-value]
X - violent  [be dangerous but never violent—dangerous with your charm, your wits, your ability to observe, your unpredictability, your spontaneity, your sense of humor, your kindness, your character, your physical capacity to exude strength, etc.—and yes, your composure too;  it makes you very dangerous because you then are capable of using your entire being for your highest good in any critical moment of decision-making] [composure makes you very dangerous, never forget that]
X - victimhood  [don’t ever play that card, victimhood betrays you and your power instantaneously;  the second you go there, you lose everything;  victimhood is not manhood;  men take their life by the horns and steer it in the direction of their own choosing;  they accept nothing less than their path and purpose to create their greatest visions in life;  they’re self-empowered and driven to take on the responsibilities that come with the territory of their self-chosen mission in life]
X - lying/deception/cheating  [nothing sinks you faster than the path of dishonesty, in any of its forms;  it is the biggest b*tch move you could ever play and no one does it hurt more than you;  historically, time has always proven that the person lying, cheating, deceiving always ends up on the short-end of the stick and any gains to be had from doing so only result in short term, temporary, minute, fleeting gains aka “fool’s gold”;  you owe yourself the opportunity to fairly play this game of life to the best of your ability—which is immediately disallowed when you lie;  and truth, that is your highest calling card in life, setting out on its path will ultimately be the most rewarding thing that you could do;  truth will always set you apart from the rest because majority of the players in existence don’t choose that;  truth will protect you and shield you against the deceptions of others;  it will illuminate for you a path of your own nobility, whereby it ensures that you almost always win;  one of the biggest platitudes that we’ve all heard is also one of the most evergreen pieces of wisdom you’ll ever receive, don’t discount it because “the truth will set you free”]
I would add that not being grounded, not being present as a man is unbecoming of positive masculinity, but they are either directly or indirectly covered in the commentary that preceded. Many men become unhinged in their development processes because of their failure to adequately ground themselves from the intense heat of the lightning strikes of lessons that life throws at them. Firmly rooting yourself in values and core principles that keep you strong & aware are key to staying centered in any and all adversity that comes your way. Furthermore, your awareness is fed and kept alive by the presence of mind you bring to your life moment to moment. If you are not present to the momentary feedback life continuously gives to you, you will miss more than one point about how you can keep yourself agile enough to constantly keep making progress for yourself in moving forward and rising up in your particular path of greatness.
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talabib · 4 years ago
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Habits Of Unstoppable Team
When a small group of people band together to do something extraordinary, the rest of us scratch our heads in wonder. Whether it’s an unranked basketball team outplaying an undefeated powerhouse or a little-known startup becoming the overnight market leader, David and Goliath stories capture our attention and inspire us.
 We cheer for successful underdogs, and we even dream about being like them—a tightly knit team of ordinary people doing extraordinary things under difficult circumstances. That’s an unstoppable team, one that brings diverse gifts to bear on the team’s goals through a shared sense of purpose and a deep commitment to each other. You can assemble as many individual superstars as you’d like, but they won’t become unstoppable unless they believe in each other and in their collective mission.
 When young men and women who want to join the SEALs first hear about Basic Underwater Demolition/ SEAL school, they become obsessed with the grueling physical exertion that lies ahead. But what gets you through the training is a balance of mental, emotional, and physical strength, combined with your greatest asset as a SEAL: the people around you.
 Whether hunting for a war criminal deep in the mountains of Bosnia or conducting classified combat mini-submersible operations at night 30 feet underwater with hand signals (squeezes) as the only means of communication, SEAL Team is bound together by a common purpose and a mentality of “I’ve got your back.” SEALs place the success of the team above individual needs because the team’s needs come to represent their individual needs, too.
 Unstoppable teams aren’t reserved for elite forces in the military. In sports, in business, in communities, in every facet of life, developing the qualities of an unstoppable team is essential if you want to thrive in chaos and break away from the pack. It might sound crazy, maybe even superhuman, but it’s within your reach.
Caring is the cornerstone for building trust and persistence in any group. When people feel cared for and when they care about the tasks and goals at hand, they are willing to step beyond their perceived limits and dare to do something greater than they originally thought possible. If you’re willing to commit to caring for and serving others, then you can become a truly unstoppable force for making greatness happen.
There are four actions—connect, achieve, respect, and empower—that, taken together, lie at the heart of every great team. When these four acts of caring are activated, anything is possible.
 Any well-constructed and highly functioning small team can harness it. If you want to be a great team builder, then you need to learn to become a great relationship builder first. It starts with you. Let’s now discuss the foundational component of every great team.
 Connect: No matter what industry you work in or what position you hold, your success depends on your ability to build human relationships. At the center of relationship building is empathy—the ability to place yourself in your colleagues’ shoes, to understand their point of view, or more important, their feelings. Building connections with others requires empathy, and empathizing requires that you show vulnerability and act with transparency.
 If that sounds a lot like the role that parents play in a child’s life, that’s not a mistake. It’s this level of care that makes some teams unstoppable and others just mediocre.
 As a leader, you don’t have an automatic, innate connection. You must build it through the three Cs:
communication–– physical, mental, emotional;
credibility––integrity, accountability, humility;
commitment––reliability, consistency, focus.
Achieve: Teams exist for one reason: to achieve results. Unstoppable teams exist in all environments of crisis, creativity, and productivity, and they all strive to achieve goals where the outcome is uncertain—over-the-horizon (OTH) goals that lie beyond our visibility and push us out of our comfort zone.
 The goals that most unstoppable teams aspire to reach exist beyond the line of sight of any one individual. The team leader’s role is to help team members see well beyond the visible horizon and find ways to surpass real and/or imagined limitations. The team leader’s actions involve the five As of Achievement:
 Aspire. Bring the goal to life by helping team members personally connect to it. Give them hope and a reason to believe that their collective efforts can achieve the task.
Assume. Give your team the space, resources, and confidence to do their jobs.
Assess. Initiate performance assessments frequently and transparently to avoid surprises and unify the team.
Assure. Encourage and reassure your team of their purpose, progress, and perspective; help team members overcome their fears and doubts.
Appreciate. Show enthusiasm and gratitude for both individual efforts and team progress.
Respect: If you want your team to care about their customers, show them how to care for each other. This sets the example that carries forward in all interactions. As a team leader, you reap what you sow. Your team will act the way you do.
 Respect as a verb is not a passive trait; it’s all the actions you take within your team and outside the team to shine a light on the team’s skills and capabilities and to show how the team can contribute to others’ success. Your job as a team builder is to take the lead highlighting other people’s skills and articulating how those capabilities can help the team.
 Mutual respect is a powerful adhesive when the team comes under pressure. People who feel respected are more confident to express their ideas. They aren’t wasting energy thinking of how not to look stupid; instead they focus on using their abilities to help the team solve the problem. Put simply, respect fuels greater levels of contribution. When you create an environment of mutual respect, you also eliminate the fear of being ignored, humiliated, or victimized.
 Three elements of respect establish an environment of respect that, when interwoven with the trust you have built and the direction you have set forth, will create a platform for developing empowered teammates. These are:
Realize. Respect comes from two places: from your authority and from your actions; the respect garnered from the latter is more valuable and more sustainable than the former.
Recognize. Respect derives from results. As a team builder, it’s your job to bring forth and acknowledge the superpowers of each of your teammates.
Require. Respect isn’t a nice-to-have; it’s a requirement, and it needs to be shared and reciprocated.
 Empower: When the training tool the Perfect Pushup (made by Perfect Fitness) became a breakout success, company leader Alden Mills was called a one-hit-wonder entrepreneur. If the Perfect Pushup had been an album, it would have received multiple platinum awards within its first year. What it got instead was a whole host of comments from industry veterans saying, in essence, “Enjoy it while you can. You got lucky, kid.”
 Yet over the next eight years, five more of the company’s products—Perfect Pullup, Perfect Multi-Gym, Perfect Ab Carver, Perfect Cooling Towel, and Perfect Smartphone Armband—earned the equivalent of platinum status, and several others sold at gold level. No longer could someone say, “You got lucky, kid.” That’s because Perfect Fitness had created a system for developing products that sold in the millions.
 What was the secret of the team behind these series of successes? Empowerment. The products didn’t come from one inventive genius; they came from the entire team. Every single person on the team owned the product-idea process.
 When people are owners, they think cooperatively. They share ideas, test new concepts, and focus on finding the best idea no matter who comes up with it. They act selflessly.
 Nothing shows people you care more than dedicating time to helping them learn new skills. Be careful, however: telling people what you know (and what they don’t know) isn’t the same as teaching them. Empowerment isn’t a task you can check off your list or test on paper; it develops over time and depends on creating an environment where every person on the team shares lessons learned and feels a responsibility to coach and support other team members’ growth.
 Team building and teamwork are personal. They’re about a group of human beings, all with their own quirks of personality, their own superpowers and weaknesses, coming together to do something amazing. Have some faith that you’ve done the work, or that you’re prepared to do the work, of opening yourself and your heart to building relationships that are deep, sturdy as hell, and immensely satisfying to your heart and your head.
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visanimus · 7 years ago
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Could you do some hcs of how Bakugou, Todoroki and Tamaki would react to finding out that their s/o is the traitor/spy? They were trained as a killer by All For One to serve as his tool since young so they did a lot of bad things growing up. While they have developed genuine feelings for the boys and don't want to hurt them, they don't have a choice and can't go back anymore since their real identity is revealed?
Hello realism, hitting us up again it seems.
~
| Bakugou Katsuki
• You’re dead to him. It’s simple in his eyes. Yes he’s angry beyond belief but it is painted black and white in his opinion. Not only did you lie about why you came to this school, you did it to eliminate the hero foundation he dreamt of being apart of for so long. He’s pissed that he should’ve seen it. Bakugou had overheard your conversation over a burn cell in your room at the dorm when he came to get you for dinner.
• When it’s revealed of all the crimes you’ve committed, how much information you’ve fed you’re mentor, and that you will stay on the villain side - it lights a new depth of malicious rage in his being. He beats himself up over this, that he could’ve caught onto the signs, but he brushed them off for this long and caused these events to happen. You’ll pay for your crimes by his hands, after all, he owes himself and the heroes that much. He kills any emotion other than anger to help him in this new goal.
• Bakugou makes it his goal to make you perish by his hands, but he knows that he will have to create some new moves and tactics so you won’t have the upper hand. He forces himself to train with Izuku and create new fighting moves to catch you off guard so he can be sure to end you. It doesn’t matter if you love him because he doesn’t love you anymore. Katsuki will hold your jaw in his hand and look you in the eye, “I could never love a traitor.” Before you feel the heat come into contact with your skin. Your feelings for him are as worthless as your mentor's ideals.
| Todoroki Shouto
• The day he heard about the fact that the traitor of Yuuei finally being found out. It was you. His earns felt muddled as he heard all these things that you have done. Todoroki couldn’t believe that you were a traitor. He didn’t think that you of all people were a traitor that fed your mentor, All for One, information of him, his classmates, and every hero of the school that he attended. What kind of person were you really. The kind that was a villain.
• Todoroki is angry. Angry that he fell for your facade of wanting to be a hero that stood beside him. You weren’t you, not the version of you that he knew and grew to care for. He already knew what it was like to be hurt by someone he cared for greatly. But he knows that is a different situation. You aren’t his mother, who is flesh and blood and was broken by his father. You had stuck by your mentor and done all those immoral acts. His heart grows a layer of frost once more. Betrayal taste bitter on his tongue and hangs heavy in his mind and emotions.
• When he encounters you again, and hears about how you wished that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. How you wished that you could go back to him, but your words feel on death ears. How does Todoroki know you aren't manipulating his emotions for another game orchestrated by your mentor. Shouto disregards your words and attacks, he'll show you, your mentor, and fellow villains that your mind will always face the consequences of your actions. In the back of his mind he'll have doubts about your words, but he knows he can't go back on his own ideals and his promise to he a hero.
| Amajiki Tamaki
• This hurts him in one of the worst ways possible. Part of him always knew that he was too lucky to even have a significant other, but your smile full of lies was able to dismiss his instincts. You had played him like a fool. And the worst part was the fact that he believed everything you said, how you loved him and saw a future with him. Amajiki believed everything you spoke to him in those sweet moments. He doesn’t want it to be a lie but he needs to face the reality of it.
• Amajiki stops to hear all the terrible things you’ve done to know the exact nature of you. Everything he knew up until that point could’ve been a lie, and so he will need to know everything you’ve done. He can’t take anymore chances. He can’t make anymore mistakes. He can’t afford to let his feelings hold back what needs to be done. Though he can’t get rid of all of them, his heart clings to the good memories, while his brain argues with its own truth and logic. Neither win or loose and that leaves him indecisive on what to do next.
• It took a long time to come to terms that you only showed a facet of yourself to him, whether if that was your true self or not, it doesn’t-it shouldn’t matter to him as much, but those moments echo in the back of his mind. When he sees you again, on the other side, he knows he has to do what needs to be done. You had used him for information, to continue these acts under your mentor, and your back at his side. Whatever you say to him, how you wish you could still be with him, shakes he resolve before he remembers what his mentor and friend have said to him. With a heavy conscious, he attacks you like the villain you were trained to be.
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ftyeonjun · 7 years ago
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Beauty & the Beast (2017) MBTI - in depth
Belle: INFP (FiNeSiTe) Fi - doesn’t need other’s praise to know she’s a good person, she already knows this (opposite to Gaston’s constant need for praise), she isn’t exactly open about her feelings but experiences them very intensely, changes subjects when Beast subtly asks her if she could ever love him or be happy with him (“Can anybody be happy if they aren’t free?”), deep down she wants someone to understand her, to be happy being the outcast with her (“And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand”); Ne - she has a whole song (Belle (Reprise)) about how she wants much more than what the people of Villeneuve are content with (“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell” & “I want so much more than they’ve got planned”), she creates some kind of washing machine so she can read and travel to her fantasy worlds, although she really wants to go and travel the world and be something more, she can’t do that and instead chooses to read as some sort of escape from the “poor provincial town” she lives in; Si - she’s attached to her past mainly her mother (“Easy to remember / Harder to move on”) and the Montmartre scene is just that -- Belle going back to discover more about her past, she becomes very emotional when she learns how her mother passed away and it hits her that she never really will see her again (“Knowing the Paris of my childhood / Is gone”); Te - Belle invents a primitive washing machine, she knows when to affirm herself (“I will never marry you, Gaston!” & “I’d rather starve than eat with you!”/“I told you to join me for dinner!” “And I told you no!”)
more under the cut
Prince Adam/Beast: ESTJ (TeSiNeFi) Te - extremely logical person (beast?), speaks very matter-of-factly (“Your father’s a thief. He stole a rose.”, “Once this door closes it will not open again.”, “You will join me for dinner.”), believes in the logic of things even though he witnessed his staff turning into objects and he was himself turned into a beast (“There is no… one.”), asks specific logical questions (“And how will I know [that the moment is right]?”) so he can guide himself; Si - attached to his past and, just like Belle, to his late mother, everything he does is very related to his past experiences -- short temper and telling Belle what to do comes from when he was younger and his father “twisted him up to be just like him”, a ruthless man & everything he does after being attacked by the wolves inclusive (opening up to Belle, saving her life, giving her a library, helping her clean it, etc) is connected to how his mother raised him when he was a “sweet and innocent lad”; Ne - he’s locked himself away to escape from his ugly reality -- that he’s a beast and it’s very likely no one will learn to love him --, he has a book that allows him to do just that, quite literally, the Enchantress’s book, thanks to Belle he starts opening up to things like true love; Fi - he needs to be threatened to tell Belle that he’s in love with her (“(..:) and tell Belle how you feel. Because if you don’t I promise you’ll be drinking cold tea for the rest of your days!” “In the dark.” “Covered in dust.” “Dark and very, very dusty.”) and even then he doesn’t exactly tell Belle he loves her but instead dismisses his feelings with a “It’s foolish, I suppose… For a creature like me to hope that, one day, he might earn your affection.” after stating how he felt about dancing after all those years.
Maurice: ISFJ (SiFeTiNe) Si - he’s very focused on past events of his life especially his late wife, he lives off routine -- always making music boxes and always brings something back from the market for Belle (“Every year you ask for a rose.” “And every year you bring it.” “And I shall bring you another.”) --, uses former experiences -- the music boxes -- to pick the lock in the asylum carriage, “I lost your mother. I won’t lose you, too.”; Fe - he gets very frenetic the second Belle is in danger, promises her it’s okay for her to leave him in the castle, his good nature is what makes Agathe save him from being eaten by wolves, is open about his meeting with Beast even mentioning it and “talking teacups” to everyone in the tavern and more in detail to Gaston and LeFou; Ti - logical person but isn’t ruled by it, he learns how to build music boxes and uses it later, he isn’t exactly thrown off by a magical castle and its inhabitants, leaves his wife when she tells him to so he can save Belle; Ne - although he is content with life in Villeneuve (as much as he can be at least, due to his Si), he wants much more for his daughter, he builds music boxes that retell his past to get away from his present life without a wife
Gaston: ESTP (SeTiFeNi) Se - lives in the moment, takes advantage of what surrounds him to have his way (leaving Maurice to the wolves or taking advantage of Belle showing the Beast to the villagers), he’s a “risk taker” -- drinks, assumingly partakes in casual sex (we can only assume that’s what happens when he goes to the triplets after speaking about Belle with LeFou), ties up Maurice to a tree to die right after punching him and knocking him out, shoots the ceiling at the tavern as some sort of emphasis on his “I don’t care” lyric, is overall a very impulsive person who doesn’t exactly care about the consequences of his actions (Maurice’s and the Beast’s deaths, property damage in the tavern, the many consequences of him drinking, etc); Ti - he’s a very logical person (argues with Maurice about the impossibility of there being “such things as beasts, or talking teacups, or magic” and let’s him know right away that while those things don’t exist, “wolves, frostbite and starvation” are very real), he knows when to take action and what to do when taking action; Fe - he relishes in people’s praises of him, uses this function to get his way more than once (manipulates LeFou using his love for him so he’d lie for Gaston, manipulates the villager’s fear of the unknown so they would agree to kill the Beast), calms down almost instantly when LeFou tells him so, thinks he can use this function to get Belle to marry him; Ni - he has one focus during the movie, marrying Belle, and although by the end it expands a little (it’s now killing the Beast and marrying Belle) it never really leaves its origins
LeFou: ESFJ (FeSiNeTi) Fe - extremely good at perceiving people’s emotions, especially Gaston’s, and is the first person to fill him with praise, tries to appeal to Gaston’s common sense to get him to consider untying Maurice (“To exhaust all of our options, do you maybe wanna consider a slightly less… gruesome alternative?”), opens up to Mrs. Potts despite having just met her and gladly accepts her advice (“Well, I used to be on Gaston’s side but we are so in a bad place, right now.” “You’re too good for him, anyway.”), openly talks to Gaston about how he feels about Maurice even though Gaston assumingly has told him he doesn’t care -- he gives LeFou a glare -- (“You know it’s not too late! We could always turn back…” & “It’s just… every time I close my eyes I picture Maurice stranded alone. And then when I open them…”), explicitly states, even though people might not be hearing him, what he thinks of Gaston’s newly found cruel facet (“But I fear the wrong monster’s released”), is vocal about his desire to be like his best friend (“One of these days I’m going to learn to shoot like you, (...) And talk like you. And be tall and handsome like you.” - novelization); Si - his Fe and Si work together: he calls to Gaston’s past experiences to calm him down (“Go back to the war! Blood. Explosions. Countless widows.”), is extremely upset to learn that Gaston isn’t exactly who he thought he was and calls him out on it, relies on past experiences to praise Gaston and help him feel better -- he knows what makes Gaston cheer up from previous experiences --; Ne - by the end of the movie, just before The Mob Song, LeFou begins to use his Ne, begins to understand Gaston isn’t as perfect as he seems and as LeFou believed him to be for all these years -- he realizes this when he turns to Gaston to help him calm down and maybe reconsider doing something else and is met with an angered “Do you want to be next?!” --; Ti - he isn’t exactly logical -- he believes in Maurice’s tales (”You must be the talking teacup!”) but assumingly doesn’t speak about it in fear of getting laughed at by Gaston -- but he does use his Ti by the end of the movie, and with the help of his dominant Fe he realizes that Gaston doesn’t deserve him and that he himself doesn’t deserve to be treated like an object, in a quite literal manner, by Gaston.
Mrs. Potts: ESFJ (FeSiNeTi)  Fe - she’s very open about what she feels and even uses her Fe to make Belle change her mind about escaping -- she notices the ladder and she offers Belle some tea with a dash of an advice (“I have found that most troubles seem less troubling after a bracing cup of tea.”) --, she is very passive about letting people know what she wants but still vocal, a bit less so when she threatens to serve “cold tea for the rest of [Beast’s] days” if he doesn’t tell Belle how he feels, before succumbing to the curse she isn’t worried about her own welfare but instead her son’s, Chip (“Have you seen Chip? He ran off. Where’s my little boy?”), and is open to her son and husband that she loves them and missed them (kissing them repeatedly in the reunion); Si - she uses her past experiences as advice (“People say a lot of things in anger. It is our choice whether or not to listen.”) and is the first person to speak about Beast’s past to Belle, she dwells in her past -- thinks about her days in the sun and when she used to be human and with her husband; Ne - she manages to understand why Beast and the staff were cursed even though she wasn’t present to see it unfold until the Enchantress was placing the spell, she’s somewhat skeptical of Belle and Beast falling in love at first and sees possibilities about what would happen if they fell in love or not -- becoming “antiques” as she puts it, or the curse breaking and them being human again; Ti - she realizes and understands that her and the rest of the staff, with the exception of Chip, were responsible for the curse even if not directly.
Lumière: ENFJ (FeNiSeTi) Fe - Lumière is a very warm person and his Fe is something very characteristic of him, he’s the first person to welcome Belle to her “new home”, he’s very open about his feelings (“I would do anything to kiss you again, Plumette.”), firmly believes in true love and that Belle is the one and she can, and will, fall in love with Beast, has an entire song & music number about welcoming Belle, even tries to get Cogsworth to be more optimistic (“What do you want to be for the rest of your life, Cogsworth? A man or a mantle clock?”); Ni - he is very focused on one thing and one thing only -- breaking the spell --, he states things before they happen and dismisses Cogsworth’s criticism of his thinking (“I am telling you, this girl is the one!” & “You know she’ll never love him.” “A broken clock is right two times a day, mon ami, but this is not one of those times.” & “She is the one.”), arranges a dinner and song so his plan can come through; Se - he knows how to take advantage of what surrounds him to help him achieve the goal of breaking the curse -- making Belle feel at home with the many rooms in the castle --, uses Maestro Cadenza to help him with the song for the goal above, he has a very strong sense of fashion (“Okay, I can fix this.” after the disaster of Beast’s make-over) and even puts himself in his gimmicks (“I do tricks with my fellow candlesticks!”); Ti - although he analyzes things, he does it very quickly, which demonstrates his inferior Ti and dominant Fe
Cogsworth: ISTJ (SiTeFiNe) Si - he’s very traditional and wants everything to be just in order (“Lumière, as head of the household, I demand you put her back in her cell at once!”), he holds to his thinking of “if no one has loved Beast until now and Belle isn’t any different”, urges Lumière to keep it down because he doesn’t want to disturb Beast and the order of the castle, even after he claims that “True love really does win the day!” when he’s proven the opposite by the villager’s visit he goes immediately back to his old thinking (“So much for true love.”), he wants to go back to how things once were as soon as he sees his wife (“Turn back into a clock. Turn back into a clock.”); Te - he’s extremely skeptical of the possibility of Belle falling in love with Beast and isn’t exactly quiet about it, letting Lumière know he thinks his plans are overbearing (“You know she’ll never love him.”); Fi - unlike Lumière, he isn’t immediately warm with Belle and instead lets Lumière lead the way, he becomes irritable when Lumière forces him to be apart of his plan during Be Our Guest but eventually warms up to it and by the end he’s singing along, he takes much longer to be warm with Belle and we’re never shown whether he becomes friends with her or not; Ne - by the end of the movie, and we can argue that it’s too late, he starts to welcome the possibility of Belle really loving Beast and of her being the one that will break the spell.
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divided-self-blog · 7 years ago
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What does trust mean in a relationship?
(Excerpt from Struggle for Intimacy by Janet G. Woititz)
“What does trust mean in a relationship? There are several components. First, trust means that your partner will not abuse your feelings, and that you will show your feelings. Right there you are stymied, as you are entering into an arena outside your range of experience. Trusting others is one of the primary things you have guarded against since childhood, and I am telling you that it’s not going to work anymore.
One of the things that makes a good, healthy relationship so scary, is that trusting is the opposite of what you have learned to do. You must trust that person you care about will not want to hurt you, and you must show some of yourself. This is the beginning of getting to know someone in a very real way. Trust also means that you will not abuse your partner’s feelings and that he/she will be able to show them to you. It goes both ways.
Secondly, trust means honesty: the other person will say what he means and mean what he says, and you will do likewise. Honesty allows you to trust the other person not to deliberately lie to you. When you reciprocate, this helps give substance to your relationship. You will know when you reach out that your hand will touch a solid arm, belonging to someone you can depend on. Your relationship won’t be ‘fly-by-night,’ and you won’t be confused.
Third, trust means that your partner will not willfully hurt you, and that you will not willfully hurt him/her. If it does happen, you will want to discuss ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. We cannot always know, when getting to know another person, what will be hurtful. It is extremely important to be able to say, ‘It hurt me when you said that,’ and for the other person to say, ‘It’s important for me to know that; I don’t want to hurt you. I will try hard not to let it happen again.’
For many, trust, means the promise of no physical abuse. I get angry every time I hear that an adult had such terrible childhood experiences that when we talk about trust, it automatically means they want to be rid of this fear. Physical abuse is inexcusable in any relationship. Therefore, it is non-negotiable.
Fourth, trust means the freedom to be yourself without being judged. It means that you do not have to walk on eggs, that you can be who you are, and that the other person can be who he/she is. You are both okay. Not judging yourself, and not being judged, is a whole new experience, glorious and exhilarating. It is also scary as hell.
Fifth, trust means stability. There is certainty about the other person, and about the relationship. It means that tomorrow’s behavior will be similar to yesterday’s, that you can count on things, and you can plan. It means you know that if you have plans to go somewhere on Saturday, when Saturday comes you will be able to do it. Stability, being very inconsistent with your childhood experiences, may be difficult to learn and to accept in another person.
Sixth, trust means commitment to the relationship, to the degree that the couple has agreed to be committed to the relationship. If your partner has said, ‘I will see only you; you are the only one with whom I am going to bed,’ you need to be able to believe it.
Likewise, if you have offered the same thing, you need to behave accordingly. What is important in a relationship to make you feel comfortable, once agreed upon, you can feel secure will be kept.
Lastly, trust means that confidences will be kept. You won’t have to worry about anyone else knowing your secrets. Neither will you share the secrets of your partner. It is especially important, when you have an argument, to know that these confidences will not be used against you.
Because trust is different for different people, it can mean whatever a couple decides it means to them, individually, and together.
The facets of trust I have discussed here, although essential to a healthy relationship, are difficult to build. Trusting another person doesn’t happen overnight, and you needn’t criticize yourself because you find it difficult. Perhaps one of the easiest ways a couple can begin to trust each other is to discuss the difficulties they have with trust and acknowledge that it is something to aim for. They need to commit themselves to working on trust on a step-by-step basis as the relationship develops. It is something you can automatically give to another person in the depth that has been discussed here. It is important for you to know that developing trust is an essential part of the process of building a healthy relationship.
At this stage, you may only hear the words and not have any idea of how to put them into practice. This is not unusual, but eventually you will learn to trust.”
Janet G. Woititz, Struggle for Intimacy (1985)
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deamadvocatus-blog · 7 years ago
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So I wrote this when Blaine was bleeding out, and thought he might die, even though we knew he wouldn’t die.
His last words to Peyton. Be it a letter. phonecall, and internal monologue.
They aren’t short. It’s Blaine’s. He’s going to hold out for as long as he can.
I need you to know something. Whether or not you believe me… I doubt I can convince you, but I just need it to be said.
How I felt about you… I never faked that. I didn’t fake the memory loss to just get in your graces. That was an unforeseen consequence. Or bonus, depending on how you look at it.
One day I woke up, and it all hit me at once. It was overwhelming. I was a piece of shit. I didn’t want to face that. I was a coward who just wanted to start over, without doing any sort of work to atone… because I didn’t think I could. Because I didn’t want to. I thought it was just enough, not engaging in criminal activity…
And maybe… because I’m a terrible person, and I just didn’t want to put in the work. I guess my logic was why bother, when so much of what I’ve done is unforgivable? It was just… easier. Guess my dad is right. I always for the easy way out. Least amount of effort required.
You believed I could start over, be a worthwhile human being… but I didn’t bother putting in the effort to do so.
I thought I could just start over, say that wasn’t me, so I wasn’t accountable. Skirt accountability. What constitutes identity, anyway? If the memory loss was real, would I have been accountable? If I was basically a different person, if the old Blaine was ‘dead’?
…Even if I regretted those things, had no memory of doing them, and wouldn’t do them again…
I still did them.
You’re the lawyer, not me. You know the law better than I do. I wouldn’t have wanted to put you in a compromising position, but… I probably would have done so anyway.
That’s the type of person I am, Peyton. You put your faith in me, and I let you down.
I didn’t mean to make a fool of you. In my opinion, which probably means shit to you? You weren’t… you weren’t a fool. You were looking for the best in me. That’s a strength, not a weakness. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, and the fact you were able to look beyond what I’ve done…? That speaks to it.
The sad truth though, is that even at my best? I was a lying douchebag.
I tried to talk you out of sex, but then I let you invite me into your bedroom the next day. When you initiated, I couldn’t tell you no without exposing the con. Without losing you.
…That’s sleazy. I know it.
 You told me that maybe I could get my memories back and still be the new improved Blaine.
 I thought that’s what had happened. I thought that maybe you’d still stick by me when the truth came out, that you’d understand.
That’s why I called you when Angus came over. Why I asked him for that story. I didn’t want your sympathy, I wanted you to understand why I am the way I am.
I won’t try to excuse it. Rationalize it. Just let you know why.
The truth is, though? I didn’t stay the new and improved Blaine.
 New Blaine isn’t that improved. He may not be homicidal, but he’s a selfish, lying, bastard. Whereas you? The world may see and strong and kickass woman, and you are that… but there’s more to you than just that Ally McBeal stereotype. I’ve never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. I owe more to you than I can ever say. How you were ever able to see a man behind the monster, I will never know. They say when you care about someone, you accept them flaws and all… in spite of those flaws…
You can’t argue though, mine are a bit of a dealbreaker.
I’m sure you hate me. You should. Blame me, okay? The entire blame is on me. Don’t blame yourself this time, or question your own judgement. Don’t beat yourself up, or let me make you feel bad about yourself. Not again.  I’m not worth that.
I never was.
The Blaine you fell for, that was me, but it was under the pretense of a lie. That colors it all in hindsight, don’t it? I don’t blame you if you regret it all. You should.
And when we first met? I seemed like some brave citizen, but I wasn’t. I tried to use you, use the system, to get rid of Boss for my benefit. I fell for you, I didn’t mean for it to happen… but I let it happen. Knowing that it couldn’t end well. I don’t know what I thought would happen. I didn’t think, I guess.
Don’t respect the man I was then. Don’t respect the man I pretended to be either. Don’t hold any affection for either of those men. They never existed.
Don’t mourn me.
I don’t deserve you. I never did. We can both agree on that. Heart wants what it wants, though. As do the privates. I guess I was being selfish, making bad decisions because of those two stupid organs.
Sometimes when you love someone, it’s okay to be selfish, but not… like that. It was unhealthy. Self serving.
It says something that my greatest regret is hurting you, and not something like say, killing homeless teenagers. Again, toxic. Unhealthy. Fucked up. That’s me, though.
The guy who felt lucky every time you walked through his door? That was also me.
A part of me. There’s another part though, that’s unlovable. That’s a monster. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you thought you fell for.  I thought I tried, but… I suppose I didn’t. That man wouldn’t have lied to you. Let it become what it did, with that hanging over it.
I love /you/ though, Peyton Charles. I never lied about that.
Both of those were me. Neither deserve you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you fell for. I’m sorry he didn’t exist.
Both those Blaine’s, though? Facets of a whole. I’m a multi-faceted, if not deeply flawed, human being.
All of me loves all of you. I know I did a bang up job of proving it, but if you’re ever going to believe anything I ever told you?
Believe that.
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petsansan-blog · 8 years ago
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Sansa’s introduction
This will be my very first entry in this blog. It’ll be about how the audience is introduced to Sansa and the assumptions regarding her character, whether the are biased or not.
We are first introduced to Sansa through Arya’s very first chapter in AGOT (chapter 7). Until this point, we have not had the opportunity to look into Sansa’s mind and that time won’t come until chapter 15. So all we learn of Sansa is through Arya at this point. (Well if we’re being entirely honest, Sansa gets mentioned on a few other POV’s chapters but only in a line or two so officially I see this chapter as her introduction)
Not even two lines in and Sansa already makes an appearance:
She frowned down at them with dismay and glanced over to where her sister Sansa sat among the other girls. Sansa's needlework was exquisite. Everyone said so. "Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith."
The first thing we learn about Sansa is that she she’s very skilled at needlework, pretty and has delicate hands. Furthermore it’s easy to conclude that Sansa might be the Septa Mordane’s favorite (as it is enforced later again)
Sansa’s social circle is established soon after.
She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.
Sansa is not only Septa Mordane’s favorite and is good at what she does but is also surrounded by other girls, while Arya seems to not be a part of their company.
"We were talking about the prince," Sansa said, her voice soft as a kiss. Arya knew which prince she meant: Jofftey, of course. The tall, handsome one. Sansa got to sit with him at the feast. Arya had to sit with the little fat one. Naturally.
Arya asks what they’re talking about and after making sure the Septa is busy with other things (Myrcella in this case), they tell her the topic of their chat. Again Sansa seems to be getting the better deal of the brothers. Sansa gets the handsome one while Arya gets that young and fat one.
It’s not hard to see that Sansa seemingly has everything a girl her age could want.
"Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful."
"He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."
Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. She looked at Arya. "What did you think of Prince Joff, sister? He's very gallant, don't you think?"
At this point Arya is faced with the possibility of Sansa also becoming Queen someday. Not only does Sansa do everything better than Arya and is prettier but she could also become a Queen some day. So naturally Arya’s resentment over her sister’s perceived perfection ends up coloring her opinion of her and how Arya feels Sansa perceives her.
But what other information do we get about Sansa from the above quote? That Sansa is rather modest. Now we finally get to learn something about Sansa’s personality as opposed to her appearance and skill. Modesty is ladylike.
"Jon says he looks like a girl," Arya said.
Sansa sighed as she stitched. "Poor Jon," she said. "He gets jealous because he's a bastard."
"He's our brother," Arya said, much too loudly. Her voice cut through the afternoon quiet of the tower room.
Septa Mordane raised her eyes. She had a bony face, sharp eyes, and a thin lipless mouth made for frowning. It was frowning now. "What are you talking about, children?"
"Our half brother," Sansa corrected, soft and precise. She smiled for the septa. "Arya and I were remarking on how pleased we were to have the princess with us today," she said.
When Jon is mentioned, Arya’s and Sansa’s differences in personality become more apparent.
Arya ignores Jon’s status as a bastard or half-brother, but Sansa keeps correcting her. This reveals another facet of Sansa’s personality. Sansa’s stance might be a bit tricky to interpret. If taken negatively it paints Sansa as a bitch. Her comment then comes off as discriminatory and perhaps even malicious. If taken at face value it only paints her as a snob, so her comment comes off as only discriminatory.
It’s not difficult to form a somewhat negative opinion of Sansa at this point.
In the first case we might be more strongly biased against Sansa. In the second case she still doesn’t appear in quite a positive light but her stance is more understandable later on. Sansa simply happens to be more aware than Arya the importance of status and social standing in the Westerosi culture.
As a result, Sansa is indeed more snobby than Arya at the beginning of the books.
She draws clear lines between her and people of different social standings (both of lower and higher) and is more likely to act according to etiquette.
Septa Mordane nodded. "Indeed. A great honor for us all." Princess Myrcella smiled uncertainly at the compliment. "Arya, why aren't you at work?" the septa asked. She rose to her feet, starched skirts rustling as she started across the room. "Let me see your stitches."
Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work.
It’s Arya who catches the septa’s attention not Sansa.
Sansa then replies to the septa with a white lie. She doesn’t tell her the real topic of their talk, instead she makes up another.
Arya though feels that Sansa deliberately brought attention to her person, despite it being herself initially. Arya’s perception in regards to Sansa’s intent, affects as a result the readers’ perception of Sansa. It makes Sansa appear as if she deliberately put her sister in the spotlight to bring attention to her bad needlework.
Sansa might just be dutiful and not consider the possibility of hurting her sister or embarrassing her.
Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door.
Arya’s bias towards her sister makes another appearance here. In Arya’s head Sansa wants to laugh, but because of her upbringing she does not.
Sansa might not necessarily want to embarrass or laugh at her sister, but her friends’ reaction to Arya and Arya’s established jealousy and resentment towards Sansa doesn’t allow her to see that possibility.
Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her.
What Arya does here is scandalous for both the septa and Sansa (and I would assume their mother Catelyn). Arya is unruly and ends up embarrassing them in front of the princess Myrcella. For reasons like those, not respecting the rules and refusing to conform or restrain herself, is why Sansa feels equal resentment towards Arya and has difficulty understanding her sister which will lead to quite a few quarrels later. But that is for when we get to Sansa’s POV.
It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward.
Arya’s jealousy towards her sister being firmly established.
To summarize. Sansa is introduced to us through Arya’s eyes and experiences. Arya considers Sansa perfect but also sees her in a negative light. Arya is a young girl who has difficulty fitting in and she lacks skillfulness in regards to the tasks she’s asked to perform (needlework in this case). She feels quite inferior to Sansa and she’s kind of an outsider to Sansa’s social circle. It also doesn’t do their relationships any favors when Arya makes fun of the things Sansa likes(namely Joffrey) and she excels at.
Sansa on the other hand can’t comprehend the difficulties Arya might be having with tasks such as needlework because her natural tendencies and talents allow her to excel at the tasks she’s supposed to perform. Sansa might be thinking that Arya does not put enough effort or that she doesn’t care about composure or needle work. That opinion is usually reinforced by Arya’s defiant and shocking behavior and her non-comformist personality. All very foreign concepts to Sansa who is modest, polite, pleasing and conforms to the norm. These differences will be the reason for many of their upcoming arguments.
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vssoise · 8 years ago
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Rhetoric
At the core of the matter, people don't want to have to make too much of an effort. Especially when they're happy. Perhaps more so when they're looking for someone to blame. What it comes down to, is that people want to live lives without conflict, either external or internal, because it causes discomfort. And if something causes discomfort, it is avoided, or ridiculed, or cast in the role of antogonizing at best, oppressing at worst.
This is my base assumption, anyway, upon which I make the following observations, as to why certain styles of speach/argument are so apparently effective on such a large portion of the population.
Unspoken Assumed Truths
The first offender, or should I say contributor to my inventory of rhetoric, shall be taken to be whom I unaffectionately call "Gumball guy". There was a video not too long ago making the rounds on facebook or some boor going around with gumballs, claiming he could explain the effects (or to use a word he'd probably find more appealing to his argument, consequences) of immigration using only his multitude of gumballs. Right off the bat, two things. He's saying he's going to simplify an obviously very complicated matter with multiple facets using children's sweets, and two, he says he's going to 'explain immigration' using gumballs. I will refer to this assumption that whatever he's going to say is indeed an 'explanation of immigration' (assumedly, as a phenomenon) as Ass 1 (as you can tell, I really don't like this guy). Now, let's get into his actual argument. He says that, since the point of immigration is to reduce the world's poverty level, it necessitates that we have a measure of the world's poor. Hence, each gumball, we shall say, is 100,000 people living below the poverty line. Ass 2: The point of immigration is to reduce the world's poverty level. I mean, what? Since when do countries perform this charity of letting in people of other countries who are below the poverty line specifically under the idea that letting these people will somehow magically lift them out of the poverty zone and therefore decrease the overall number of those living in poverty? I've never heard such an immediately stupid assumption. But this post is not about Gumball's guy's immigration video, it is on rhetoric, and so I digress. Gumball guy goes on to say that, because the countries in which there is a large level of poverty are reproducing at a rate below the poverty line that far outpaces the rate at which developed countries (like the USA, in his example) can let them in, in net, immigration is actually doing nothing to help reduce world poverty, and therefore, immigration and the allowing of the same are totally pointless and should be restricted. Did you see what he did? To the casual listener, more so perhaps to the listener who is inclined to believe a reason that can be used against immigration policy, there is no conflict of thought required. After all, he defined immigration's purpose, and showed quite handily with his gumballs that immigration does not fulfill that purpose. It therefore logically follows that his argument is valid. But this listener doesn't remember to question the basis on which his argument is made, because the speaker never explicitly says what his assumption about the purpose of immigration is. He never says "okay let's define what immigration is for, we think it is this" because that invites attention to it. Attention invites analysis, and analysis is the antidote to misdirection. And because he doesn't explicitly draw attention to this, the listener is all but fine to ignore it also, since it requires more mental effort on his part independently, to do so. Therefore, by never drawing attention to an analysis of his defined purpose of immigration, he allows (forces?) the passive listener to accept, even without the listener's knowledge, that his defined purpose for immigration, his assumption, is true. This is the clutch point. By not drawing attention to the base assumption, he can make whatever argument he wants, even as simple as the one he made using gumballs, and it comes across logical rather than fallacious in some way. It becomes a simple argument, and no one wants to fight that, because simple is nice. Logic is conflict free. Unspoken assumed truths lie at the base of all 'simplified' complicated issues.
The Relatable Misdirection
The first person who did this that made me realize this was a thing (perhaps I should have realized sooner?) was Simon Sinek. He had a video come out recently, or perhaps it has just been making the rounds recently, about Milennials and 'why we are the way we are'. I know, been done to death right? "Oh no, they take too many selfies, they're too self obsessed, they want everything handed to them, they don't want to work as hard" etc etc. 95% of it is generalizing rubbish. 5% of it probably true about certain individuals, as it would be for any generation. In any case, this Sinek video takes "the Curious Case of the Milennial in the Workplace", so to speak, and, since I'm here discussing rhetoric, not his video, and so I can get directly to his point, says that Milennials are the way they are because of a failure of parenting, but more so because of a failure of the workplace to recognize this failure of parenting and provide the appropriate guidance. Now, there are are so many things to be said to counter him almost immediately. Assuming he's right, why is the workplace's responsibility to provide the hitherto missing guidance? Let's not assume he's right at all, and chalk up his ideas of why milennials are any way to generational differences that seem to draw lines between any two generations. Or, we can consider one of the multiple other, more real factors, that probably contribute to milennnial unemployment, or unhappiness, or living at home (the three most commonly referred to problems of our generation, by the older generation who, apparently, were gutsy enough to do things the way they had to be done), like the worst economy to grow into since the 20s, a lack of environmental regulations, the rising problem of student debt. And those are just USA milennial problems, but of course, USA is representative of the world, to a lot of people. But coming back to his rhetoric, while we are poking holes in his arguments, there are more people who accept his statements as must-be truths. This is because of his set up to his assertions. He starts his video saying small things that milennials and others can relate to, differences between generations, endearing things that point out the differences without invoking contempt from older people nor defense from milennials. By doing this, he gains the favor of his audiance, which is all he needs, in the end. If the audiance likes you, they're much more likely to trust you, and if they trust you, they're more inclined to not put their mental faculties to work trying to find flaws in your argument. The easier they accept your assertions. This happens with senators too. When emailed or called about a certain policy or the other, a politician won't go directly to what he thinks he should do to achieve the results; no, doing so prematurely while you are still primed to disagree would be ruinous. Therefore, he will always start by setting the correct stage. Establish vague statements as shared goals, thinks like "we want every American to have a great life" and "we think all Americans deserve access to opportunity". Things that are vague enough and positive enough that you can't disagree, and things that establish a common ground enough to engender more trust and amiability with him than you were originally prepared to give. Then, when he gets into what specifically he's going to, he's primed you to be more receptive, and the problem is that those who do not want to dedicate more thought than they deem 'necessary', which is most people, decide they don't need to hear anymore, especially if it's a conflicting opinion that requires even more brain power to process.
This isn't a pejorative towards people who are less educated or less succesful at all; it's about a real trait humans have. We don't like conflict, especially within our own thoughts, and we'd rather not have to dedicate unnecessary energy towards the consideration of things that we feel comfortable leaving to people we trust. Which brings me to my last point.
Language
Using simple words seems to be the most easily implemented, and yet most easily overlooked, source of good oration. Using larger words, even if they facilitate conveying greater detail, becomes counter productive if your audience can't understand you, or worse, see it as condescending. It comes across complicated, and perceived unnecessary complication can be misattributed to attempts at deception. If you use simple words, even if what you're saying isn't correct, you can connect with people better: if they can understand you, they will trust you. Even if what you're saying is wrong. This US Presidential Election, case in point.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, it seems apparent that most people would rather not devote much brain power to things they think doesn't directly and, more importantly, immediately, affect them. This isn't a groundbreaking realization. But what I've come to understand more fully, and perhaps this is basic, is that what is of primary importance in persuading people that you have their best interests at heart is to get them to TRUST you. It doesn't matter if you have the better plan. It doesn't matter if you actually do have their interests at heart. None of these matter more if they trust someone else more than they do you, and now, with at least these three things fleshed out for myself, I have three new tools in my inventory to help me make (manipulative, a little?) others trust me.
And that's the first step towards making any real change.
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