#you kinda have to watch the episode to understand
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. “it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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Raymond Reddington
In Season 4 Episode 2 - Mato
#james spader#raymond reddington#the blacklist#reddington#red#raymond red reddington#blacklist#tbl#my screenshots#screenshot edit#photo edit#edit#OH GOD GUYS THIS EPISODE FUCKED WITH MY EMOTIONS#i mean fUCKING RAYMIND FUCKED WITH MY EMOTIONS FOR SHOOTING KAPLAN!!!!?!?!?!??!!????!?!?!??!?!!? I AM STILL FUCKING FURIOUS#i know she is still alive and is with some weird guy#BUT I ACTUALLY HAD A “FUN” THEORY SOME EPISODES PRIOR THAT KAPLAN WILL TURN AGAINST RED KXJKCJFK👀👀 WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS NOW OH GOD#BUT i also think that maybe she tries to either team up with that weird guy who helds her hostage or that she will either try to call Red#somehow to get help OR try to reach out to Tom and Lizzy and get help and if she does she helps Lizzy and Tom and slowly tells her more#about Red and whats happening#or she realy fully turns against Red as I once said “as a joke”#funny is that a lot of my theories i say as ajoke to my fandom friends actually turn to be right sooo i cnat wait to watch more eps tonight#and see what Kaplan will do oh god#also FUCK YOU RED YOU FUCKING SHIT ASSHOLE KAPLAN DEDICATED HER LIFE TO YOU AND YOU FUCKING SHOOT HER#i can kinda understand why red did that like 3% THE ITHER I JUST WANNA FUCKING PUNCH HIM ARGH#BUT ANOTHER THEORY OF MINE IS red is like a super soldier with his weapons imo and he could have EASILY shot her in the middle of her head..#so WHY SHOULD HE SHOOT HER “ONLY” AT THE SIDE OF HER HEAD?????! he could have easily realy killed her...or was he “unfocused”? what i cant#imagaine for Red handling a weapon#so maybe Red wanted to give her a chance?????#AAARGH DIS SHOW CONFUSED ME SO MUCH MAKING ME COME UP WITH THE WILDEST THEORIES#I LOVE IT
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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the problem is I’m such a staunch believer in the slow buildup, the earnest enjoyment of meandering through terrible story decisions and weird nothing subplots to build up into a conclusion that explodes out from all that as fantastic storytelling and intrigue based on all that buildup, such that it makes it necessary to get through all that or you’re missing something essential, that I’m also a terrible person to talk to about what makes a story good. I can tell you plenty of what actually makes something tight and well-written and all that technical speak but how could anyone take my advice when I so so so love excruciatingly long unnecessarily complex fumbling and weird nonsense that spirals into, inexplicably, weird nonsense that makes you cry your lungs sore
#kipspeak#my point being everyone is too mean about post arr. sure f’lhammin did not have to be our problem but everything after that was like#meandering. Thinking. building. unnerving. they were cooking and i RESPECT their dubious food#i love homestuck and long audio dramas and dnd podcasts and indecipherable fancomics and lego ninjas and khux and im starting to love ffxiv#all incredibly long and made with passion and kinda weird and hard to get into#said with THE MOST affection in my heart#I could structure a kids show and I know how to write for tv but in my heart of hearts#I just want to write an impossibly long absurdity epic that is weird and a little bad and also makes you feel shrimp emotions#ALSO I feel 0% bad for not respecting ur theory or opinion if you haven’t played khux/dr/recoded I don’t feel bad about it at all I’m right#understand what’s going on in them and I’ll respect your theories. it’s like comics enjoyers but less chaotic#don’t let me get into comics. superheroes never really catch my interest but if you let me get into comics I’d explode#‘it gets really good’ is a genuine way to interest me#also don’t let me get into anime that do this. I already watched a thousand episodes of detective Conan—#maybe it’s a careful balance of weird and Good Storytelling Seeds. it has to have internal logic for one; and it has to have a structure#It has to be leading somewhere. and I want to see where it leads#we are GOING through the disney worlds. all of them. they are COOKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fellow Psych enjoyer!! Im watchin psych at this very moment lol, i know its a tough question bc i dont even have a definitive answer but like, what's your favorite episode?
hmmm well i did very much enjoy the episode where Lassiter & Henry bond over fishing... i also like the episode where Shawn gets kidnapped & ends up on top of a moving car <3
#ive seen some episodes out of order#since my friend used choice ones to get me interested lol (it very much worked!)#but i only started watching it all the way through yesterday#so im only on season 2 :/#i also loved the one i just watched - the counterfeiting episode! twas funny#but really since im binging the show they're all kinda blending together lmao#And its mostly on as background so there are some where i have no idea what happened or what it was about#rambles from the bog#tbh a lot of the time watching it#i find myself sitting here and going: man. if it was made pretty much the exact same way just with today's climate#it wouldve been even fucking funnier#bc obviously the humor in the show is kinda Dated! there's a lot of times where im sitting here going 'oh that was bad taste'#or 'oh that would Not fly today'#but it is a really good show#easier to enjoy when you understand the era it was made in & accept that there's gonna be unsavory bits#honestly its interesting! im on s.2 which was released in 2007 i think#and i believe i was like... around five years old? i dont really remember Living the time period!#so its interesting to see! its a whole different range of slang and american culture & tech!#all i really remember is the phones... i remember the awe when someone at school turned up with a touchscreen#they were pretty fuckin new so they were expensive & my parents could afford one#so my first phone was your average flip phone. it served its purpose! i loved listening to the ringtones! that was my spotify <3#anyway wait fuck what were we talking about#OH RIGHT PSYCH. um. yes🤝#i dont like shawn's dad! lassiter is probably my favorite! i may have a crush on juliet! shawn is the most bishrekxual man i have ever seen#gus deserves better & more screen time! the whole show is just really good#*old man voice* they just dont make em like they used to....#said both positively and negatively. some aspects are good they're gone. other aspects... sigh
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The music for the duel in episode 8 of Trigun.... yeah....
#also still wondering what the show is really about... kinda hannibal esque in its episodes#the first ones are episodic and then the plot thickens literally#enjoying it so far#the other guy appears next episode!!!! yeeeeaaaahhh#meryl you have competition#talking tag#watching trigun#oh and he appears after carrying a cross on his back thru the desert.... alright he is a priest? preacher? understandable#that was a love at second sight scene come on now...#what is he doing with milly akdhsksjsksjsk#anyways why do the cities have months names
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this is literally me being excited about the new star wars show I just watched going on any social media and only finding people hating on it for the dumbest reasons
#that screen is relationship goal#but really#i watched ahsoka's first episodes and was yk happy ab her having more content but then boom tons of middle aged men whining ab it#face it jeremy literally no one cares ab the fact that her lekkus are shorter than how you wanted them#(i have to agree ab the fact that she's too calm for someone canonically so fucking chaotic)#anyway#sabine wren#she's so ughhhhh#ahsoka series#ahsoka tano#the mandalorian season 3#bo katan kryze#tagging her cause she's at the eye of my last sw mind cyclone<333#captain rex#HE'LL BE THERE!!! he'll prob die. if he dies i'll shoot filoni and then myself#that rat doesnt understand what he means to me#star wars rebels#rebels#clone wars#it's kinda justified for clone wars and i agree but yk#loving clone wars is like loving twilight- if twilight was less disgusting and didn't encourage toxic relationships#the point is#complaining is ok! i love haters i'm a hater myself but this fandom is exhaustive!!!!#hera syndulla#cause she rules#kanan jarrus#cause he rules too
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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i feel like i abandoned comics but i just have a tumultuous on and off again relationship with marvel and we are currently going through a divorce
#lin.txt#sorry oomfies i love the characters i love more than anything still but i'm pissed off#i'll be back though i've been here for 10 years almost#BUT LIKE okay not to get personal on my tumblr blog but if you didnt know i had one of the worst times/mental illness episodes of my life#like last year and reading warlock and the infinity watch -> the rest of adam's stuff actually changed my life for real no joke saved me#and like im always pissed off by choices marvel makes it's a constant thing but Infinity Watch is like really important to me#and i was kinda hoping for a revival with the rebirth comics they were doing!! and then they DID announce an infinity watch#event but it was so shit and bad and didnt understand anything about what the actual appeal of the team or book was and disrespected#the entirety of cosmic comics and it was bad i cant say how bad it was#LIKE WHY IS PHIL COULSON DRIVING THE BUS WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS#and then them annoucing the infinity watch team comic which again... follows on from that and again no adam. no appreciation for cosmic.#not the right dynamic or story or anything at all just like!?!?#so basically that killed any remaining connection i have to marvel right now i felt like i was stabbed LIKE on top of everything else#omg sorry for rambling so much i just feel like i never explained any of this#sorry about my overattachment to 90s misfit teams
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update: for the past three months I’ve been gone and busy I have gotten utterly re-obsessed with the emo weaboo hades gamer boy. prepare for sporadic activity containing mega cringe
#twisted wonderland#idia shroud#twstposting#fanart#kura’s art tag#🛎on queue.#i kinda liked him back in 2020 when the game first launched but I kinda cooled off from it for a bit#also bc I don’t like gacha games lmao#but I decided to watch from a distance and watch his episode bc I was always curious about him and his backstory#and oh boy…#you don’t understand I am hopelessly obsessed with his terminally online ass….#he is so problems. he is so cringe#also I need stress relief from school smh… need that escapism#I’ll still be working on insania scientia/I’ll be keeping my 2018 j&h boys close!#I’ll just be indulgently having fun by myself with twst in the meantime lmao#🦋musings
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So I watched the first episodes or so of Adventure Time. Is there I guess....a um...breathrough episode that makes you like fall in love with it?
I just looked through them and not going to lie the first season is definitely not my favorite. The first season is where you meet a lot of the characters and see the universe. They are mainly super random and silly.
The first episode of season 2 is pretty good you get to learn more about Marceline and her dad.
S3 Ep9 - first fionna and cake episode (again not my favorite episodes but they are important to know who they are if you want to watch fionna and cake (the series) in the future)
S3 E26 - you get to meet flame princess for the first time 🥰🫶🫶🫶🫶
S4 E26 - The Lich - this is where the story part comes in and it gets GOOOOOOD. There are a few episodes before this that have some story I think but it’s very light if I remember right. This is where things kinda turn in adventure time in my opinion
S5 Ep1 - you get to meet Prismo!!! More story! Good shit
#ok ok ok#so I think if you want to get hooked on adventure time I would start watching from season 4 episode 26#I know I know it sounds like a big jump but like I said I think the first few seasons are mainly just introducing the characters#kinda seeing where everyone lives and their personalities#there are some story episodes in the earlier seasons but I don’t think anything important#it’s one of those shows where usually you can just watch and instantly know what’s going on#you don’t have to watch them in order buuut once you get to the story part it’s better to watch in order just in case#it’s hard to explain cause most of them are Willy nilly and silly but after the end of season 4 you have more chance to get to story#and THEN season 7 is where you get to go into the depths of the characters and their backstories#all of the episodes are 10ish minutes but then season 7 and beyond have multiple parts to some of them#so like the first one is all about Marceline and it has 8 parts#I think that’s all I wanted to say????#but I definitely understand not falling in love with it right away#it was just a thrown on show for awhile until I got to the story story and I was like OH?????? OK I SEE YOU#feel like I wanted to say more but here you gooooo#I think if you wanted to start S4 E26 and get into the story and then if you fall in love with it you can always go back#and watch the beginning seasons#but I definitely don’t think you need to watch the first few seasons to understand what’s going on later#and if you watch the end of season 4 and the beginning of season 5 and it’s still not your jam that’s alright!#I’m sure it’s not for everyone#ask
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Progress :o
I had Mayoi Neko overrun’s op stuck in my head so started to watch it😂 it’s not new to me but,, gotta jump on the mood while it’s there! How bad was it..? Dunno. Was it decent..? Probably!
Girls cute, mc boy decent,, cats great! I’ll watch!
#Kanna’s no-Conan challenge#ok I kinda broke it for a bit tbh ^^’ I HAD to watch the newest BO episodes- you understand?? right???? and ofc that Ai AO after <3#-then there was the dog episode and alley episode after bc I could- it was pretty boring tbh… doggy was cute but episode was Meh#Ayumi and Ai helped it at least. cuties <3#anyways gkskvka rambling aside#tbh I wanted to watch canvas2… but a Seiyuu I hate is in it so I was rlyyyy debating as I have for YEARS :/ it’d be ok if he’s minor char-#-but no he’s the fucking main orz ugh… I’ve read the manga multiple times out of spite at this point 😂😂#I’ve read mayoi Neko AT LEAST TWICE as well… it’s cute and funny<3#I did see the anime iirc but looong ago so it’s fine to watch again -u-*
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Sorry abt the occasional digiposting as of late, im coming to terms w/ the fact that it's starting to grow on me orz
#clenches fists.#wondertext#I started watching it w/ some friends recently..for nostalgia reasons in their case‚ but also to introduce me 2 the franchise as well#since it never rly was part of my childhood & i was curious as to what the fuss was all about hsjwjfj#Anyways i never rly took the events all that seriously since I thought shit was so off the wall it was funny But#after nearly 24 episodes i've found myself getting emotionally invested w/ the show at last 😭😭 it's been a journey#ive been progressively getting accustomed to all of its strange concepts . I think im desensitized at this point /lh#like evn the monsters themselves now have me like..ok...Youre not so bad after all. u got a creepy-cute kinda thing goin on &i respect that#(<- Used to find their designs unpleasant. still do a little bit even now tbh sorry But i do appreciate their uniqueness a whole lot)#But yeah i feel Like ive been put thru an entire character arc w/ this thang .#You should've seen the way i used to freak out during the 1st few episodes Everything was So Insane 2 me. it had me flabbergasted#it was like . Lighthearted charming OP song -> Children having a near-death experience in the most surreal way possible#-> Isekai moment -> We get introduced to the ugliest little beasts i've ever seen#-> They spend the rest of the episode almost dying Again -> beast transform into even Uglier beasts & go feral on each other#-> World's calmest most soothing ED sequence that clashes So Hard w/ the tone that was set during the episode it makes ur brain crash.#and thats more-or-less the formula that's been handled throughout the following episodes up until this point#but i suppose I've grown fond of it by now 🧎 I am a Changed man‚ i See the appeal‚ I Understand#well not rly prbablyBut at least each episode keeps me@the edge of my seat now as opposed 2 how i used to enjoy it in more of an ironic way#'tis nice honestly..I've become more appreciative of the kinda vibe the show handles‚ it's got a lot going on :} It's /insanely/ creative
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I don’t remember much from the danganronpa end of hopes peak anime, nor do I remember liking it too much, but every time I think about the episode where Chiaki dies I kinda just have to lie down and cry for a minute 🥺
#danganronpa#havent seen it in years man but i remember watching it with a friend the first time#she had to run to the bathroom to compose herself cuz she was sobbing so much 😭#it fucked me up like at the time i dont even think i was that crazy about chiaki#this has changed over time shes like my second favorite character from the game now#but damn just like her being doomed from the start was so AAAAAA#cuz the big twist with her in dr2 was that she was an ai instead of a real living person#so when you see her in the flesh in the anime youre kinda like huh what? i thought she was just an ai??#and then it hits you that oh. oh no#and in the episode shes fighting so hard to make it through this death trap like she gets absolutely fucked up#if she survived shed need serious medical attention quickly#but despite everything she makes it to the exit and is greeted by her friends and teacher and its like OMG SHE DID IT#and then the rug is pulled out from under her and you the audience cuz no matter how much you route for her shes doomed#GIRL IS DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE#but fuuuck the bit that always gets me is when izuru sees her dying#and shes just like pathetically sloshing around in her own blood trying to talk to the person he is inside#telling him that hes still loved by her despite everything theyve been through#and just fucking. izuru having no emotions no recollection of who this girl is just watches her die#AND DESPITE EVERYTHING HE STILL CRIES BECAUSE DEEP DOWN HES STILL THAT BOY HE USED TO BE#AND DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS CHANGED HE STILL LOVES HER AND HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHY#yeah lol something about that fucked me up lol
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Same anon as before, I’m happy that you’re accepting yourself! That’s great news. I had a very similar situation where I was very embarrassed about what character my brain chose to project onto, but after working with my therapist and years of reflection I’ve realized it had to be that character because they were the only one I could see myself in, we were both abused in certain ways that made it like looking in a mirror, and being Him meant that I was able to protect myself because he could (character is someone “dangerous” in their world). So I really think it comes down to a reflection of trauma, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. We coped with what our brains found the most comfort in.
If I can ask, what does your therapist think about it? Only wondering because with my therapist, they are aware we have fictives of this character as well as the system as a whole projects through him but I’m still trying to figure out if it’s part fictives and other part alters with psychotic attachments or if there’s something else at play as well like past lives (the old fictionkin community used to be big into that but I know it’s not so much anymore so I’m a little embarrassed but I am still a spiritual person) alr that’s all, looking forward to your response!
First of all, I'm glad to hear back from you anon!!
My therapist and I figured roughly the same thing happened with me! When I say I use this character as a therapy tool, I don't think it's appreciated enough that it's bc my therapist familiarized himself with the source - my therapist watched (and enjoyed) 148 episodes of anime for my sessions and I cannot stress that enough lmao; we're pretty sure that what happened was that I saw a lot of my emotional trauma play out again in front of me in his character arc, mostly in the way he perceives himself but also with how he struggles with his emotions and general interactions with the world (with my own difficulty with such coming from the climate of the family that abused me). He did serve as a mirror, not just of my own trauma, but also of what I wish I could have done, which was to lash out and genuinely own my anger and frustration and do something. Of course there's a lot more to it, but with just covering the surface, looks like we've had pretty similar experiences!
As for my therapist's thoughts on this, we actually haven't put any clinical labels on it. I personally like labels, they make me feel sure and certain about things in my life, which is why I tried to nail this down with the OSDD/DDNOS (complete with question mark) in my bio, but truth be told I'm not entirely sure I meet the full criteria for either of them, in spite of the genuine experiences I've had with what definitely feels like multiplicity of some sort. Interestingly enough, while I myself am not very spiritual, my therapist did make a mention that this is an experience that I could try looking at through a spiritual lens, especially since it's been coming up a lot more as I'm trying to rework some deeply held thought patterns. There's been a pretty positive outlook on it overall and he encouraged me to interact with it - the episodes tend to come with some specific thoughts and feelings, so we're treating them (and by extension, this character) as a sort of conduit for them, sort of like a messenger bringing attention to them. This is all some pretty specific info for my stuff though lmao, I just wanted to cover the ground as thoroughly as I could 💖
#part of me genuinely does wanna reach out to the fictionkin community just for the value of having potential community experience#but also. maybe I'll just watch them for a bit and think about it lmao#my experiences with my dissociation is like. it feels like there's someone else with me you know? im alone but i can feel someone else#and I'm holding their feelings and thoughts in those moments#if i believed in ghosts hardcore this would 100% make me think im possessed but fortunately i recognize where#all this is coming from as far as functionality and the name attached; funnnily enough i remember a video my roommate#put on and it was talking about psychosis scenes in movies + gauging them for accuracy#and the guy starts talking about DID and I'm like okay i definitely dont meet the criteria for that but I'm half paying attention#and he mentions that one of the things that people have reported is feeling like they're possessed and i just sat there FLOORED by this#bc that was exactly how I'd described the feelings in therapy; 1:1 word for word 😳 again i know for sure i dont have DID#but the same guidelines that make up the definitions and criteria are kinda also running along my dissociative episodes as well#ive already said so much in the tags but i did have a session where i just sat there and was like. i want to love every part of myself#and that includes the episodes; i know they're a protective measure and i dont wanna feel like I'm fighting them anymore#that was months ago; this is by far the most vocal ive been about it#it took almost a year for me to settle into it and be able to talk about it even in therapy but I'm so glad i can do it now#and I'm so glad to be hearing from people who understand how this feels 💖💖💖 thank you so much again!!!#im realizing that i actually have a lot of thoughts on this now that im actually understanding it a lot better#the asks are just giving me some chances to infodump a little hehe 💕#you're welcome in my inbox any time!! thanks again!! 💖💖💖#asks
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