#you just have to learn to trick your brain

[silcoitus]

I understand this feeling so much and my advice to you is to do a 5 minute sprint. The urgency of the timer means you have to throw out any thoughts of insecurity and just do it. Just write.

Even if it's shit. Even if there's spelling and grammar errors or continuity errors or whatever. And after the 5 minutes, maybe you will get in a groove. Or maybe you'll realize you're struggling uphill, but at least you gave it a shot. You can always try again later. But for those 5 minutes—

Just.

Write.

Get the ideas down. You can edit and finesse and polish it later. Get your story out of your head and down on something tangible.

Anyone can have an idea.

Be a doer.

And let go of the idea of perfecting your story. If it's your first one, chances are it's not going to be because you haven't put the practice in.

LET YOURSELF FAIL.

It's how you improve.

The most frustrating experience as a writer is having a clear vision in your mind of the story you want to tell but being too afraid to put pen to paper for fear of failing to do the story justice. I’m so scared that my actual execution will fail to meet my expectations that I’m paralysed to even start.

[aquaticmercy]

Not a request but just some thoughts! I don’t know how to explain it but:

Bucky: girl dad through and through

Steve: Boy dad (I love him so much but i genuinely feel if he had a daughter he would raise her like a son because he don’t know what he’s doing)

Sam: Both boy and girl dad, but the boy always turns into a carbon copy of him while simultaneously being a mama’s boy

omg thank you anon for these thoughts!

Enjoys these Dad! Bucky, Steve, and Sam blurbs!

Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes would make the best girl dad. And he’s the best girl dad precisely because everything he’s been through. Because all of the violence and trauma. It’s why he’s so gentle with his daughter, why he’s extra careful around his little girl. 

He spent years being nothing but a weapon, and now that he has the life he shares with you and your daughter, he is so scared of hurting either of you that he treats you both like you’re made of glass. 

He still has that 1940s mindset buried in there, though. Not because he’s a jerk— he knows better than that— but because it’s just there because it was drilled into him from a very young age. 

He catches himself sometimes thinking her daughter should be all dainty and protected and doted on 24/7, and he reminds himself that she has to learn how to be on her own someday.

Still, he treats his daughter like he’s her bodyguard, the way he does with you. He still opens doors for you, stands just a bit too close on the sidewalk. He’s got this invisible shield around both of you. He doesn’t even mean to; it’s just there instinctively.

So now imagine his face when his little girl starts ditching dolls and princesses for more  traditionally masculine things. 

Bucky is very supportive, although he has to manually override some of his 40s brain.

She loves the drums, and he’s all for it. He gets her lessons. He sits next to her during practice to catch all the sticks she drops trying to do complicated tricks. He high fives her whenever she does a sick beat. 

She’s also all about football (soccer). He notices it when she’s cheering for the women’s national team during the World Cup like her life depends on it. 

Bucky immediately starts looking at tryouts and academies. When she has a game, he’s out there on the sidelines, grinning whenever she does anything even remotely good, screaming encouragements when she loses the ball, and celebrating with her when she scores a goal.

But god, it’s hard for him to watch her take a tumble, all elbows and skinned knees. She hits the ground here and there and he winces every time, heart in his throat. He’s so adorably worried until she gets back up and gives her daddy a big thumbs up. 

And yet when she goes in for a not-so-great tackle, he’s the loudest one cheering on the field (and the first one complaining when the ref gives her a yellow card).

But then. Then she decides she wants to try Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. She says she wants to be tough, like him.

This is where Bucky might draw the line. “There’s no way,” he tells you. Not his little girl, rolling around on some mat with kids twice her size, learning to choke people out. 

It makes him think of all the things he’s done, the things he was forced to learn, the violence he was engineered to deliver, and he can’t bear the thought of her going anywhere near that world. 

He wants to shield her from it, to keep her protected, untouched by any of that.

You, of course, see right through him. You sit him down one night and tell him, gently but firmly, that she’s her own person. 

That she’s got his strength. And if she wants to do this, it’s because she wants to be more like him. Because she looks up to him. Because she thinks her daddy is the best person in the world.

It takes a while, but he comes around. But not only because his little girl wants to be like him, but also because he sees so much of you in her. 

You both have the same spark, the same drive, the same way of nudging him to grow. To challenge his thoughts and beliefs.

He watches his daughter march into her first Jiu-Jitsu class with this fierce little smile, the kind he remembers seeing on his own face back in the day.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s terrified. But he’s proud, too. Because she's challenging him to be better, braver, just by being herself. 

And every time he watches her spar, he finds himself cheering—softly, at first. Soon, he’s the loudest parent in the room. His little girl, fighting her own battles, just like her dad.

-

Steve Rogers

Steve Rogers would be a fantastic boy dad.

He’d never admit it, but part of him always fantasised having that kind of relationship with his own dad—playing catch and putting on barbecue, doing all those white picket fence  father-son things. But his dad died when he was young, and even if he hadn’t, Steve would be too small, too sickly, to keep up. 

Now, with a son of his own, he absolutely craves bonding with the kid. And of course he’d love him no matter what, but there's just enough super-soldier serum running through his son’s veins to let him be strong and athletic.

And for a while, everything’s perfect. Steve takes his boy to baseball games, teaches him to throw a curveball, and they spend endless afternoons in the yard sprinting (Steve slows down a bit) and throwing frisbees. During the summer, you could hear them both laughing and talking from sunrise to sunset. It’s everything he dreamed about.

But as his kid grows, Steve starts to feel a distance.

His son’s childhood is just... different.

He���s popular at school and his biggest worries seem to revolve around sports day, acing his tests, and keeping up with all the clubs and extra classes he’s signed up for. His son doesn’t have to fight his way through the day just to be heard or seen. People listen to him. He’s the kid everyone wants to be around. His friends look up to him.

Steve can’t help but remember how different his own childhood was—every day a fight just to prove himself, to survive in a world that didn’t give a weak kid like him any breaks.

He remembers those long, lonely days where he’d sit at the edge of the playground, watching the other boys run across the field, laughing and tackling each other in games he could never join. Sometimes, he’d be nursing a bruised rib or hiding a scraped knee, feeling a bit isolated. He remembers how desperately he’d wanted to be a part of it—to have a world that embraced him instead of challenging him at every turn.

Now, watching his son grow up so different from that—so at ease in his own skin—fills him with happiness. Still, Steve feels a strange tug in his heart. 

Steve can’t help but feel like he’s on the outside looking in, wondering if he can truly understand this world his son is growing up in. He’s scared that him and his son wouldn’t have anything in common anymore.

One evening, after the kid’s asleep, Steve finds himself talking to you for hours about his anxieties.

He tells you how strange it feels, how he doesn't know if he can relate to the person your son is becoming. He can’t shake the feeling that, in some way, his boy’s growing into a world Steve himself never got to experience. A world he cannot help him with.

But you’re there, holding his hand, reminding him that love doesn’t need to look like a mirror. 

A few days later, Steve goes to pick up his kid from school, and what he sees, he will never forget. 

His son was on the playground, standing tall, facing down some older kid who’d been picking on another student— a little boy in a wheelchair. 

Steve’s son was defending someone who couldn’t defend themselves, just like Steve would’ve done back in the day— just like he always does.

When they get home, Steve’s got tears in his eyes as he hugs his son, barely able to say how proud he is. He runs upstairs to tell you what your son did. 

After that moment, all his worries vanish. Steve’s son might not have his struggles, but he's got his heart. 

And that’s all you ever really wanted.

-

Sam Wilson

Sam Wilson as a dad? He’s wonderful. 

You’ve never seen someone so comfortable just rolling with whatever his kids throw at him. 

His little girl has him wrapped around her finger.

When she drags him into one of her imaginary plays, he dives right in without hesitation. 

The two of them have this whole routine now: she’ll declare herself the “Queen of Cupcakes,” and before you know it, Sam’s transformed into her nemesis, “The Grumpy Troll.” 

He’s got a whole stash of masks and scarves just for these characters. He looks ridiculous in a pink tutu and tiara, but he’d never miss the chance to be part of her little kingdom.

But his daughter is not only about tea parties— She’s only eight, but she’s strong-willed and headstrong. She insists on trying things herself first, even if she has to wrestle with it. 

One time Sam reached over to help her open a jar, and she looked up with the most serious little frown, shook her head, and said, “Daddy, I got it.” And she did, after two minutes of huffing and puffing. 

Another time, Sam finds his daughter in the kitchen, a stool dragged up to the counter, sleeves rolled up, determinedly making her own peanut butter sandwich. She’s got peanut butter smeared from cheek to elbow, but she’s concentrating hard, tongue poking out a little as she spreads it just right. When Sam offers to help, she shakes her head without even looking up, determined to get it done.

Then there’s his six year old little boy, who’s gentler, in that way that Sam is. He’s kind-hearted and hilarious in a way that catches you both by surprise. 

After every mission, his son’s the one who toddles over and asks, “Daddy, are you okay?” like he’s got this radar for how people are feeling. He reminds Sam of himself, especially when he worked at the VA.

Sam even found him in the backyard last week, carefully placing a bowl of water and crumbs of bread on the grass. He said “The little bird with the hurt wing might come back, and I don’t want him to be thirsty.”

Another time, he offered his favourite blanket to his sister when she had a cold, even though he always sleeps with it himself. He just tucked it around her shoulders, giving her a quick hug before running off.

And just like his dad, your son is very clingy— very attached to you. If he sees you’re tired, he’ll nestle up on the couch next to you. And when you’re out of the house, he’ll carry your sweater around, or ask a hundred times when you’re coming back.

On the first day of school, your son’s practically clinging to your leg, not quite ready to let go. His eyes are all big, and you could feel how nervous he is without you there. 

Sam crouched down and starts giving him one go his famous pep talks. Before he could finish, his big sister steps in. 

She promises him they’d sit together on the bus and during snack and lunch time, and that she’ll teach him how to be “brave like Papa.”

Your son squeezes your hand one last time, then lets go, holding onto his sister’s instead as they both walk on the school bus.

“Did you see that?” Sam whispers, his voice full of pride. 

He wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. You lean back into him, watching your kids grow up in front of your eyes.

-end

[triglycercule]

What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert

see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)

i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!

another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know

dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.

anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else

[pastafossa]

idk if this has been asked/answered before but do you go to school at the moment, pasta? if so, how do you balance writing & updating :,)

I do not, I've fortunately graduated and thus have more time! I did write fic while I was in college, admittedly, but to keep the balance with all the papers I needed to write, I was generally restricted to shorter fics. I think on my previous ao3 account, the longest story I wrote by wordcount was 30k, longest by chapter was 10 but just drabbles. Which is hilarious when you consider that the next time I tried a longer fic, I just jumped in and now it's 850k words.

But yeah, honestly, I'm sure there are some people who'd be able to write something this long, this regularly while in school buuuut... I'm not sure I'd have been one, cause I don't know if I'd have had the time. Even now that I'm done with school, I have to be very disciplined about writing - setting aside time to write/research, sometimes delaying other things I might want to do, writing even my brain is like 'meh don't feel like it'. Which is fine! Because I actively enjoy the process, even when it's difficult. I love the victorious feeling of getting a chapter done even when it's been a fight. And I want this to hoooopefully be my job one day, so I'm happy to get in the practice. But I won't lie that it's time-consuming and in some ways like an additional job if you want to get that many words written, edited, and then posted every week. I'm constantly writing or editing in grocery store lines, late at night, during breakfast or lunch, whenever and wherever I can, and it takes up a good chunk of my free time each week. You really have to love what you do, and when you do set aside a chunk of time to write, you need to force yourself to write. That gets easier as you go, fortunately, as you convince your brain 'uh yeah idgaf if you feel like it, you're vomiting words onto the page whether you like it or not'. I've beaten my brain with the You Will Fucking Write stick enough times that it knows to go when I say go, I don't care if it's rough or messy or clumsy, just get something out and fix it in editing, but that was a hard lesson to learn in the beginning. But learn that and you will save so much time.

I hope these little bits and pieces could help even if I'm out of school now!

[redrosesshadowwolf]

The sorting and exchange was sometimes the best part of Halloween. Sometimes it wasn't just family bur friends joined the bartering pool. Sometimes we'd set up a tent for a sleepover in the yard, listen ro scary stories while we sorted. Otherwise we had to spend every moment extra vigilant cause dogs are highly attracted to food that can kill them.

Easy fix is 'shutting the door', you say? Well me and my older sister had a really wonky door and our dog figured out how to beat it up enough that it came loose. It was a round knob so the short loser couldn't try and learn to open it with brain power, instead she just attacked till it jostled loose, unrelenting scratching and body-ing of the door when she wanted to join us.

Basically we just left the door open a bit unless we actually had a reason to shut it after we had a dog. Cause our dog is a spoiled brat who thinks she deserves all of our time and attention. And our food.

Luckily we have developed very good, keep food out of dogs reach reflexes and mindsets.

But yeah, sometimes it waw sorting it out in our room, or the living room. Other years we sat out in a tent with a lantern and scary stories or even a movie on as we sorted and bartered with eachother and whatever friends hadn't gone home yet. Then there's always post-halloween take your bounty to friends who didn't live close enough to go trick or treating with but you still wanna share the joy with, of which could set off another round of bartering or even the rare generous gift giving moments.

"i'm too old to trick-or-treat" what the HELL are u talking about. that is FREE candy. in this economy. "i'm too old to make responsible financial decisions" you sound like a goddamn lunatic

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[lostandbackagain]

as someone who is very incredibly and dangerously physically and mentally unwell, I get very annoyed when other people in the same boat as me blaze their extremely depressing poetry and cries for help like im sorry we're both going through this but I've managed to convince myself my situation is funny and I can't let my brain know there's another option

[heartswithinreach]

your post about sylus essentially conditioning the reader to sit on his lap hasjsakddf that was so perfect and in character 😭 i love it sm its given me so much brain rot - how bout this:

can i request the lads boys reaction to the reader randomly asking to be carried/picked up in the middle of walking? for no other reason just to see how'd they react lol

LaDS casually carrying MC

Xavier

The most casual. He just smiles at you and asks, "Bridal or piggyback?" in the same tone as if he's asking what you want to eat.

And he's not just playing along. He means it. He wants to be the one you lean on — metaphorically and literally.

You can try and backtrack but then you'll get those eyes. The bluest puppy dog eyes that can break the strongest of wills. "Are you sure? We still have a few blocks to go to the café, I don’t want you to get tired..."

You feel like you're holding out on him by not letting him carry you. The mind tricks this man is capable of to get what he wants are ridiculous.

You fold embarrassingly fast and Xavier is happy as can be with you on his back, your arms and legs around him like a full-body embrace. He can see the tactical advantage to carrying you like this during missions, too.

Rafayel

"You want me to carry you?“ Rafayel scoffs. “What if I pulled a muscle in my arm and couldn't draw for a week? No thank you!"

He refuses until you ask if it's not that he doesn't want to carry you, but that he can't.

Now you've wounded his pride. He might not be the God of the Sea anymore, but he can't let this go unanswered! Rafayel will be on you relentlessly to let him pick you up, no matter how long it takes.

"Whoa, be careful, cutie! There's no telling how deep these puddles are from all the rain — you're super lucky your boyfriend is here to carry you to safety."

When you finally break and let him do it just so he can prove a point, he realizes he likes this way more than he thought he would. You're like his adorable little prisoner and the only way you're getting out is in praise and smooches. This will become a regular thing, I fear.

Zayne

“I told you to wear more comfortable shoes.”

Zayne inwardly grins at how quickly you deflate at his blunt response. It's adorable.

But Zayne has a hard time denying you something so innocent as wanting to be close to him. So he guides your arm to wrap around his shoulders and picks you up with a strength that always takes you by surprise.

He waits for you to settle comfortably in his arms before he starts walking. He's aware of the disapproving stares from the people around you and not too long ago, he would've been one of them. How quickly his perspective has changed because of you.

Zayne is brought out of his thoughts when he feels you peck his cheek and now you get that oh so familiar look of gentle reproach from him. "I am working on being more affectionate but I'm not there yet, MC. Now, behave or your ride will end early."

Sylus

Sylus is so caught off guard that, for once, you can see his entire thought process play out through his expressions.

Surprise at your request, suspicion you're just toying with him, the realization you're being somewhat serious, and then the most gratified look you've ever seen on his stupid smug face.

Now you’re speaking his language. So delighted you’re finally catching on, he just picks you up and continues on his way without breaking his stride.

However, you didn't specify how he should carry you. So you're draped over Sylus's shoulder and to keep you there, his hand is dangerously high up on your thigh for being in public. The smack on your ass is so inevitable, you can feel it like it's already happened.

"You just said you were tired, now you want me to put you down? You need to learn to make up your mind, kitten. I'll just carry you until you're sure of what you want."

[runningwithscizzorz]

(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references

(2) Understand what you want to break and how

(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can

(4) It's going to look really bad for a while

(5) Have fun with it!

(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.

-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.

(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!

(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.

(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.

(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY

[dirtyheathencommie]

DEAR EDUCATIONALLY NEGLECTED HOMESCHOOLERS

I’ve gathered some resources and tips and tricks on self-educating after educational neglect. This is only what I did and what I know helped me. I’m about to graduate college with honors after having no education past the age of 9. I wouldn’t be here without the following. Everything is free, and at/well above the standard for education in the US.

The holy grail: Khan Academy. Nearly every course you could take is available here, in order and by grade level. Their open-source free courses rival some of the college classes I’ve taken. This is your most solid resource.

For inattentive types: Crash Course offers a variety of courses that are snappy, entertaining, and extremely rewarding. They work for my ADHD brain. They also have college prep advice, which is essential if you’re looking to go to higher education with no classroom experience.

To catch up on your reading: There are certain books that you may have read had you gone to school that you’ve missed out on. This list is the most well-rounded and can fill you in on both children’s books and classic novels that are essential or at least extremely helpful to be familiar with. You can find a majority of these easily at a local library (and some for free in PDF form online low key). There are a few higher level classics in here that I’d highly recommend. If it doesn’t work for you, I’d always recommend asking your local librarian.

*BE AWARE* The book list I recommend suggests you read Harry Potter books, and given their transphobic author you may or may not want to read them. If you choose to, I’d highly recommend buying the books secondhand or borrowing from a library to avoid financially supporting a living author with dangerous and damaging views.

TEST, TEST, TEST: Again, Khan Academy is your go-to for this. I don’t personally like standardized testing, but going through SAT and ACT courses was the best way I found to really reveal my gaps so that I could supplement.

Finally: As much as you can, enjoy the process. Education can be thrilling and teach you so much about yourself, and help shape your view of the world. It can get frustrating, but I’d like to encourage you that everyone can learn. No pace is the perfect pace, and your learning style is the right learning style for you. In teaching yourself, be patient, be kind, and indulge in the subjects you really enjoy without neglecting others. You are your teacher. Give yourself what others chose not to.

[ibupr0fendolll]

TIPS AND TRICKS FOR FASTING!!!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

#1; low cal drinks

thirst is commonly mistaken for hunger during the fasting period, so here are some low/0kcal drinks that aren't just plain water to indulge in during your fast (guilt-free):

- black coffee (a good appetite suppressant. adding no calorie sweeteners will improve the taste)

- diet sodas/zero sugar sodas

- plain tea (opt for freshly brewed)

- ice cold glass of lemon & cucumber sparkling water

- electrolyte water (you can make these at home or purchase in-store, these will keep you energized and provide nutrients if you're doing a longer fast)

- flavoured mineral water

- black coffee & redbull (probably tastes disgusting, but gives you an excellent energy boost when desperate times call for desperate measures)

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

#2; still bored?

if you're tired of these options in their liquid form, try using an ice cube/ice lolly mould to turn these into refreshing popsicles for hot summer days. it'll be a fun activity to get your mind off food, and a much more stimulating experience for your taste buds. freeze for 6-8 hours and they're ready!!!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

#3; low intensity exercise

make sure you're partaking in frequent exercise to keep the hunger and fatigue at bay. here are some examples of what you can get up to that doesn't put so much strain on your body:

- walking

- yoga

- meditation

- gentle stretching

- pilates

working out before or after your fast is always better than during. if you get too ill/tired, you may be tempted to break it

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

#4; keeping your mind off food

fasting might mean you have more free time on your hands than before. the key is to stay busy so your mind doesn't wander off and you stay focused on your goals! here are some ways to do that:

- picking up a new hobby or learning a new skill

- tell yourself "i'll eat it later", this tricks your brain into reducing the immediate urge you have to eat the food, and gives you time to think about the consequences of eating it. by the time "later" comes around, you won't want it anymore

- watch a movie with an actor/actress with your desired weight

- create a th1nsp1r@t!on board on pinterest

- make a reward list (obviously with no food) for when you lose a certain amount of weight/complete a certain no. of fasts

(credit; @bxbblegxmbxtch17)

- buy yourself a piece of clothing in your desired clothing size (whether it's for your 1st gw or ultimate gw) and hang it in full view when you're working out/fasting to remind yourself why you started in the first place

- journal!!!

- read a book

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

#5; breaking your fast

DO NOT pig out after your fast is over. that is still binging whether you have it all in one go or not. opt for more nutritious and lighter meals so as not to undo your progress and to slowly build back your tolerance to foods after a particularly long fast, such as these:

- grilled chicken salad = ~290KCALS

- quinoa and roasted vegetables = ~275KCALS

- strawberry oat smoothie = ~280kcals

- mixed vegetable stir fry over rice = ~255kcals

- lentil and tomato soup = ~200kcals

(note; these are just approximates and completely depending on your serving size & what ingredients you use)

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

that's all i have today :) let me know what you think! i hope these helped, you got this doll ♡

[anakinsdove]

𝐘𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!padawan!reader

summary: Your master is horny and frustrated, he looks for release at a nasty gloryhole in coruscant… only to find out that that perfect pussy he’s fucking belongs to his padawan.

c/w: gloryhole, p in v, masturbation, power imbalance (very nasty idgf im sorry im horny)

discord - twitter: anakinsdove. -PART 2-

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。Love you

𝘄/𝗰: 1,838

He’s frustrated, Anakin won’t hide it anymore, he even yelled at you this morning, but as soon as he saw your pretty eyes pout at him he regretted it, it’s not even your fault, you’re learning, he’s your master, he’s supposed to teach you, it’s just… you jumping around and swinging your lightsaber does something to him… and he knows it shouldn’t.

It doesn’t matter anymore, how hard and fast he fucks his fleshlight, how hard he grinds against his mattress trying to chase an unsatisfactory high that leaves him as soon as it arrives, the painful dry orgasms he craves and hates, how painfully hard he grips his cock, nothing is enough, not anymore, he craves something else.

someone else

Someone’s pussy he knows he shouldn’t even think about, but he wonders… he wonders if someday he’ll be able to fuck it… how tight and wet you must feel around his cock… could you even take it? Could his sunshine of padawan handle him? He’ll be gentle, he’ll be rough, he’ll be anything you want him to be

Anakin sits on his bed late at night, however this is coruscant, theres always some sort of party going on somewhere, bars, loud noises and music, flashing lights, even nasty gloryholes, this planet is wild… the Jedi temple is luxurious and quiet on the surface…. But in the lower levels of coruscant there are… some interesting things happening, but he’s a Jedi, he knows it’s not right, he’s not sure what part isn’t right, but there’s something that doesn’t click.. maybe it’s the fact that paying for some services are just not what he wants, he wants your stupid creamy fucking pussy wrapped around his cock… what would you call him? Master? Anakin? And there’s the other fact that it’s avoid being recognized with his Jedi robes and his lightsaber… he must go undercover if he wants to get what he wants.

As anakin prepares himself for an adventure he takes a peek of the empty hallways at the Jedi temple, everyone asleep, everyone doesn’t have the same problem as him… it’s quiet and peaceful… he remembers that place, Obi wan and him tracked a criminal a few alleys away, the discrete yet inviting place hiding beneath the shadows… *is that?* *Don’t even say it Anakin….* Obi wan said with an unamused expression… of course it fucking is.

And now his feet has finally led him here….

The first thing her sees is lady.. well only her hands.. her face is covered by a piece of wood, completely anonymous… great, like this he’ll just have to imagine it’s you… he hope it does the trick, he hands her some credits without saying much… then he takes a deep breathe *Focus Anakin… focus* he tells himself… but the loud slapping noises and moans keep distracting him, he feels some sort of sense of guilt, he knows he’s better than this, but again he’s not… and the last thing he thinks before opening that stained curtain is… Obi wan should never know this… Y/N should never know this….

And finally he sees legs spread and in display… the wood creaks beneath his feet, the loud moans Turing of his brain, men acting like animals as they fuck a pussy, they’re in heat, just like him… he even sees some men on their knees eating out some women… interesting… who said chivalry doesn’t exist anymore?

He stops in front a pair of legs… all pretty and spread wide, inviting, a puffy clit that begs to be touched and rubbed nicely, fuck… those pretty legs look just like yours… just like yours… when you swirl around and he takes a small glance of that set of thighs under your skirt…

But he’s nervous… the consent has been already given right? He doesn’t have to talk to her or even know her name… it doesn’t fucking matter because she’s not you… he holds onto her thighs squeezing softly as the girl adjusts slightly feeling that she’s about to have some company, and just as his touch arrived is gone again as they leave goosebumps, he unbuttons his pants slower that he should’ve, he grasps his cock over his boxers and releases it giving himself a few strokes to get himself rock hard, fuck he’s about to get it… he needs it so so so so so fucking bad, he needs her, he…

He rubs his cock against her clit, slapping his tip against it gently as he hears a small gasp behind… *cute* he thinks to himself… fuck it he deserves this.

He pushes himself all the way in

Grabbing onto her ankles and starting with a relentless peace, the girl cries out, he should’ve given her some time to adjusts but he just couldn’t control himself… he pushes his hips forward trying to get his dick as deep as possible as he throws his head back… “fucking- he’ll…” he hopes he’s not fucking a virgin but this girl feels like one, she feels the way you would’ve feel wrapped around him, you’re so… you’re completely devoted to him, your life is Jedi training with your master anakin, missions with Anakin, free time with Anakin… you’re his, you’re his you’re his and only his… then why is he fucking this random girl? Why won’t you love him the way he loves you so he could be fucking you instead… this infuriates him as he pistons her harder… faster, his fingers digging into her skin leaving marks, he doesn’t know if it’s allowed or not.

He huffs and growls trying to control his anger… sweet moans filling his ears and emptying his thoughts… fuck she sounds just like you

He feels a deep connection to this girl he’s fucking, the force, something? Or it’s just her tight pussy? Gummy walls massaging him so fucking nice, his balls pounding agains her cute asshole, he chuckles as he watches her hips struggle against the hardwood, struggling to stay still, he licks his fingers and starts massaging her puffy clit, rubbing nice and slow… nice and slow, contrasting with his brutal pace

Y/n, Y/n, Y/n… One day he’s going to take you…. One fucking day…

A bead of sweat falls from his forehead, he ignores the noisy looks from people as they see the young hot man fucking the young hot woman like an animal, his hips move expertly against yours, he knows what he’s doing and it shows, and there’s not much to do than to trust roughly to fuck his frustration out, he loves this, the feeling but he wants more, a deeper connection, to look into your eyes as he fucks you, your nails digging in his back as he fucks you so hard it hurts…

He pushes herself deeper as the girl cries out because his tip is kissing her cervix a painful kiss.

This girl is wet… and she’s getting wetter every seconds, he feels the little splashes her pussy is making against his thighs… cute.. she’s squirting, anakin rubs her clit faster, you would arch your back right now wouldn’t you? If it were you obviously… he sees the girls hips raise a little and he knows she’s arching, her pretty feet shake over his shoulders as he keeps pounding her

His hips falteres as he nears his release, cock twitching and pulsating nice inside her velvety pussy

“Keep going!”

Shit, her voice even sounds like yours and he knows he’s imagining it because he’s whipped but this only enhances his experience… he’s breathing heavily, he’s panting as he tries to keeps some noises from escaping but they do.. and finally he cums… she squirts and it’s all fireworks and aftershocks, spasms and pure pleasure, his legs wobble, he put on quite a show….

He pants and pants until his breathing finally even, he feels at peace, what every orgasm should be like, not like those painful and dry ones he gives himself, he sees his cum dripping from the girls pussy, fuck, he didn’t even pull out… his head is pounding and he holds the girls thighs tighter… he feels… he feels a connection…. A big one… a deep one… a nice one… he buttons up his pants and gets on his knees, like an spell has been casted on him, he spread her legs even wider and dives in, he moans at the taste as he gives her a long lick, his lips instantly wrapping around her clit… he licks his cum out of her, he’s possessed, eyes rolling back into his head as he feels the girls fingers tangling on his hair…. Cute little whines can be heard, he’s obviously overstimulating her but… he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care.

He forced his eyes to open and he looks up and sees her fingers now resting over her stomach

And he sees the delicate bracelet around her wrist….

One that he happens to share with you

His eyes widen as he stands up immediately

“Y/n” he says loud enough for you to hear as his words get drowned into the loud sex noises…. The humid air and the smell of sex are prominent.

“Im sorry master” you say apologetic with that little voice of yours, one that indicates that you know you did something wrong but you’re not sorry for it

Now everything makes sense, he told you about this place a few months ago when Obi wan and him found it… the urge the intense craving and the way his legs lead him here, the connection that he felt to this person… why he was drawer to this pretty set of thighs.

It was all you, you lead him here, taking advantage of your connection through the force…

And he fucking loves it

He dives back in savoring your pussy, biting your button delicate and tongue fucking your hole as he tastes himself, his tongue exploring your folds… your fingers tangle around his locks as you cry out again, your legs close around his head and your back arches… perfect perfect, so fucking perfect.

He feels your back arch again and your moans get louder

You’re so close… so so close.

And he’s going to drag you to the edge

And he’s going to make you cum again

Your master Anakin Skywalker is devouring you like a mad man

And it’s okay

“Master master!” You cry out

An hour later you come out of the place as Anakin waits for you in a dark alley, he sees your with your coat and your wobbly legs… the walk back home is quiet, too quiet… no words exchanged, the aura is heavy yet not uncomfortable.. he leads you inside the Jedi temple and you walk to his quarters… a punishment, not in a sexual way, a lecture… something awaits… he pushes you inside and the door locks….

Your heels echoe in the darkness as his arms wrap around your torso… and you breathe in relief.

masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.

dividers - @i92-93

TAGS: @espinathena-17 @skywqlkergf

[wandaslittlebird]

Okay it’s 3am and I’m a little drunk and incredibly horny, thinking about Wanda learning you can squirt and being so excited about it she has to show you off to all her friends.

She invites them over one by one, starting with her best friend, Natasha. It always starts out as a standard gathering: Wanda cooks dinner and the three of you chat around the table.

But by the end of night, Wanda always has you sat between her legs on the end of the couch, legs pinned open by her own, with a vibrator on your clit and a toy in your cunt. Facing the audience, of course.

It takes you forever to cum with people watching, but Nat doesn’t seem to mind. Wanda is willing to go all night if that’s what it takes. And Nat is more than happy to just enjoy the show.

“Come on, angel. We’re gonna show Natty your little magic trick, yeah?”

“Aww, is my little angel having some performance anxiety in front of Natty? You always cum so fast when it’s just you and mommy.”

“Poor thing. Is your little brain so scrambled mommy has to hold you up so you don’t fall over? Sit up nice and tall for me angel. Natty wants to see your pretty face.”

“Oh that’s it, that’s it cum for mommy. Show Natty how pretty you can cum for me. Oh angel, that’s it. Such a messy girl for mommy.”

After holding it so long, you cum harder than you ever have before. Even Wanda is shocked when you somehow manage to get cum on the coffee table.

Afterwards, Wanda is sure to prop you up on the armrest with an inane number of pillows and swaddle you up in the softest blanket. She’s already prepared you a nice big glass of ice water with a bendy straw so you don’t have to sit up to drink.

[moonstruck-poet]

The Confrontation

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - three times where the Crows find you two in suspicious situations leading them to conspire and the fourth time when they learn the truth.

Warnings - Assault, Harrassment

1. Nina

"You ready?" Nina Zenik questioned, quickly giving the surroundings a scan before pinning her eyes on you. "The minute Kaz joins us, you have to leave".

You exhaled and nodded, trying your best not to wince at the obnoxiously tight corset and trying to breathe properly. "Was this the only available option?"

"Thr most suitable option," she corrected and smirked after looking at you.

"Stop checking me out when I'm literally struggling to breathe, Zenik. Remind me why is it not you instead of me? Saints know you're better at this," you grumbled and shivered as the cold hair brushed against your off shoulder gown.

"Because unfortunately I'm the Heartrender here, aren't I?" She grinned and you glared, understanding that this was quite amusing. "Ah! There's your ticket," she nodded towards Kaz who was stumbling his way towards you, slightly out of breath.

"Here it goes," you sighed, smoothing your outfit. Somehow this simply seemed a much difficult job that gutting someone in the right place. Using a knife was just easier.

Kaz, now much closer gave you a nod, his eyes glinting as he gripped his cane tightly and you understood. You merely smiled softly before shooting Nina a wink and entered the club, your eyes immediately narrowing down on the target.

Your brain was replaying all of the tricks that your dear friend had so graciously shown. You weren't dumb of course, you knew the basics but she had a degree in flirting.

And so you braced yourself and appeared in front of the man, trying to hide a cringe when his gaze instantly swept over your physique shamelessly. A small flame of anger burned internally and you would be sure to use your favorite dagger very soon.

Meanwhile Kaz and Nina were sneakily observing from the window while also keeping an eye on the environment.

"She seems to be getting the required information," Nina exclaimed but her smile soon fell upon seeing the scene. "Oh Saints no," she whispered and Kaz, who had his back to the window whipped around.

His dark, dangerous stare found you with ease and his body tensed at your uncomfortable face that you were trying so desperately to hide.

He saw the way that man pulled you closer with every passing second until you were pressed flat against him, his foul breath staining your bare shoulders as your body shook with contained fury.

His fingers skimmed your skin while his lips brushed against your cheek and all Kaz wanted to do in that moment was to stride inside and take you out of his grasp.

But he was still talking, his lips moved and so did yours. You were still trying to wrangle every little piece of information you could possibly get while also trying to keep yourself safe.

"Kaz," Nina said urgently upon seeing the malicious smile on the stranger's face. "That's enough she needs to come out".

"I can't do anything," he said bitterly. "It'll just give out our position and put everybody in danger and I cannot have that," he finished, hating every part of himself.

"I like you, sweetheart," your target whispered, his face inches away. His breath fanning you, reeking of alcohol. "I wish to see you again. Please?" He asked, his voice manipulative and he dragged his lips from your shoulder to your neck.

"Of course," you murmured back, your tone deadly which he didn't seem to notice. "You'll see me soon. Very soon indeed".

"Perfect," he grinned against your cheek before kissing the skin and you stepped back with a smile, not breaking eye contact until you exited the door.

And immediately your flirty facade shattered and your were consumed by a dark energy as you rounded the corner, your pace increasing with every step.

"Oh Saints," Nina said as soon as you reached the meeting spot. "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am," you teased, a wicked smile but Kaz wasn't fooled, not at all.

He looked at you, trying to pick up every noticeable change and he sae many. The twitch of your eyebrow, the small frown appearing on your lips which was quickly replaced with a grin and the slight shudder of your shoulders.

He didn't think of anything at all as he removed his coat. "Here," he offered, his dark brown eyes burning into yours.

"It's okay, Kaz, I'm alright-"

"-Take it," he said firmly and when you didn't move, he put it over your shoulders and you almost sighed at the warmth. His touch was so gentle, so secure, a constrast to the emotions plaguing you moments before. "Are you okay?" He asked again.

"I want to go home," was all you could reply as you looked longingly at him, hoping that your eyes were enough to convey all of your feelings. "Please".

Kaz nodded, looking down as pain struck his chest. He could handle numerous difficult situations, but when it concerned you, he was always vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, his voice barely heard as he scanned your face, having an intense urge to place his palm on your cheek but the mere thought made him flinch. However he remained rooted to the spot, not backing away because he knew that you needed him at the present, and he wasn't leaving you.

Someone cleared her throat and that was what made him pull away.

"Extremely sorry but we have to move," she said softly and he nodded, his jaw clenching as he gave you one last, tender look before walking away.

The two of you followed and you clutched the coat around you tightly, a small smile threatening to break out on your face as you replayed the interaction with your dearest.

Meanwhile the Grisha was observing her friends quite eagerly, her eyes switching from one to the other. She had her suspicions from the minute she saw Kaz's panic-stricken face, and then the said person lending his coat confirmed it.

She saw his face contorting in sadness upon seeing your highly uneasy figure back at the club, saw the way his fingers fidgeted constantly because he felt helpless. In conclusion, she saw him lose control.

Kaz Brekker never lost control.

She should feel guilty for using her abilities on her boss, but how could she not? When a particular heart was thudding unbelievably as soon as his eyes fell onto someone else's. The beating had only seemed to intensify when he had put his coat around your shoulders.

The trip to the Crow Club was spent in silence. Everyone's mind being occupied by very different thoughts.

"There you are!" Jesper's cheery voice snapped them from their daydream. He slowly jogged over to you, excitement evident on his features. "Want to play a round of cards?"

All you gave him was a small, forced smile. He just looked so happy and you didn't want to be that person, "Let's go then".

"You don't have to," Kaz suddenly spoke making everyone stare in surprise.

"It's fine," you replied but he still gave you that look. The one where his eyes were just a tiny bit wide, eyebrows slightly raised to wordlessly ask if you were sure.

You nodded offering him a twitch of your lips before joining Jesper, Wylan and Inej at the table, helping yourself to some bread.

Nina had of course watched this soundless interaction quite seriously, and now she had some very interesting points that would definitely be shared with the other Crows; minus you two obviously.

"Now this seems fun," she said to herself, smirking at the way Dirtyhands had his eyes glued to you the entire time.

===============================

2. Wylan & Matthias

Having a lazy day at the barrel was something that happened once in a blue moon, because Mr Brekker made sure to always keep everyone on their toes. Today was one of those rarest days that the Crows actually had no job and so naturally they were lazing around in the club.

Jesper and Nina were gossiping, holding a small muffin in their hands as they whispered amongst themselves, probably sharing the headlines of all that had happened in the Barrel.

"You're sure? Our Kaz? Kaz Brekker losing control like that?" Jesper asked, double checking to make sure they were talking about the same person.

"Yes Jesper!" Nina sighed. "His heartbeat seemed to skyrocket the minute his eyes fell on her. I wss actually worried that he might have a cardiac arrest or something.

"Djel help me," Matthias muttered. "She's too good for him to ever say yes".

"Oh come on," Nina insisted, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "They're made for each other!"

"I don't know about that but they do make quite a pair," Inej added, her face screwed up in concentration.

"There's definitely something going on," Wylan whispered, putting on his scheming face as he analysed his thoughts.

Meanwhile Nina was now feeding another round of conversation to her gossip partner who was enjoying it very much indeed.

"No way he went over to the Dime Lions!" Jesper exclaimed mid-bite, his mouth opening as he registered the statement.

"He did indeed Jes," you walked down the stairs interrupting their conversation. "Rumour had it that he was paid handsomely as well".

"Of course he was," the gunslinger snorted before shaking his head.

"Where were you?" Nina asked, her eyebrow raised in question and all four heads turned to hear your answer.

"Kaz's office," you said and sat down on one of the couch, not noticing the small smirks painted on everybody's faces.

"What's he doing in there anyway?" Inej asked, having sharpened her knives and taking yours making you shoot her a highly grateful look.

But before you could reply, the said person called from from above, "Love! Have you seen that Kerch document that I had shown you? Where did you keep it?"

Silence. Complete and utter silence followed his statement as the Crows glanced at each other, their expressions the epitome of flabbergasted.

"Check in your bottom right drawer!" You shouted unaware, standing right below the floor so your voice could be heard better. "I've kept it along with other related files".

The minute you went back to your previous seat, you felt eyes staring at every inch of your face making you suddenly look up. "What the hell?" You asked, being startled at seeing every gaze pinned towards you.

"Did he just-" Jesper began but Wylan elbowed him harshly.

"Nothing," he answered sweetly, ignoring the sharp glare thrown his way. "How about we go visit the marketplace? You said you'd show me some firing powders".

"Yeah let's go," you nodded, putting your gun in the holster and donning a black leather jacket over your shirt. "Anybody need anything? I'm not going to get you fruit loops, Jesper," you narrowed your eyes before the boy could even utter a word.

"But you told me that-"

"But you also happened to have eaten three packets yesterday. So no. Absolutely not".

Inej and Nina snickered at the banter which was surely an everyday occurence. Jesper always being the hopeless little kid and you unintentionally acting like his older sister.

The said boy was looking at you with wide eyes and a small pout and you groaned in exasperation. "Fine! I'll get you some stop looking at me like that!"

"I love you so much," he grinned and shot a wink your way.

"Whom do you love?" Kaz Brekker asked, walking down the stairs and towards him with a raised eyebrow. Everybody fell silent at his impeccable timing to arive during the most unwelcoming moments.

"Her of course!" Nina butted in, pointing towards you before Jesper could reply and Matthiss noticed the way the Demjin's face contorted and tightened.

Kaz shot the Zemeni a small glare, not knowing himself that he was actually doing it before turning to look at you and all of the other crows saw the way his gaze softened considerably.

"Should we leave then?" Wylan broke the silence and tugged at your sleeve and your attention snapped to him.

"Yes yes let's leave," you followed him, almost at the door when Kaz called your name and you halted. "What's wrong? You need anything?" You questioned softly as he walked closer.

"You forgot this," he merely said and handed you a necklace that you had forgotten on his desk. It was only Wylan who actually saw the pendant and his mouth hung open.

You took it from his hands, fingers gently brushing against his gloved ones and he instantly felt a small amount of warmth seep into his very soul.

You lit a spark with only your touch.

You ignited him.

"Thank you," you smiled and quickly clasped it around your neck, tucking it inside your shirt so it would be hidden from privy eyes. "See you later, yeah?"

He nodded, hands tightening on his cane as he watched you leave. He never got round to telling you that he had wanted to spend this day with you and you only. But unfortunately you had plans and so he remained silent. Not wanting to be a hindrance.

He couldn't even remember the last time he had spent some quality time with you. Being too busy finding new deals and searching for missions that he couldn't properly acknowledge the best thing in his life.

When did he last take you out somewhere except for sneaking around to gather valuable information? You loved having hot chocolate late at night, when had he ever bought it for you despite knowing that the drink was your favorite?

You deserved so much better, his mind kept telling him. He couldn't even bring himself to give you the comforting touches that he knew you longed for. You never said a word but he saw it in your eyes. Whenever a plan had gone too complicated and particularly difficult, all you needed was a good embrace. But he could only ever bring himself to hold your hand. Nothing more.

And he hated himself for it. Despised every inch of his self because of his inability to provide for you. It killed him inside.

You were lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. And he was twisted, crooked, wrong but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for you.

He was so lost in his thoughts that his sharp instincts failed to notice the stares that were currently burning holes in his face. "What?" He snapped and was on his way back to his bedroom when they stopped him.

"Goodness Kaz you actually look sad," Nina concluded, fighting the smirk that was quick to spread on her face.

"I have no reason to be upset," he rolled his eyes and started climbing the stairs slowly, his leg throbbing with slight pain.

"Wylan's right," Matthias said lowly. "The demjin is infatuated".

Wylan on the other hand was busy geeking over the chemicals that were presented in front of him. "How did I never know about this!" He said in delight and you chucklef at the way his eyes lighted up. "These are so much cheaper too".

"Get whatever you want," you squeezed his shoulder and he nearly jumped in excitement. "I'll just quickly go and get something from that shop, yeah?"

He nodded and you crossed the street to enter the clothing shop, smiling to yourself upon seeing beautiful coats lining the walls.

"Can I see some black shirts and vests, please?" You requested the man who nodded and placed numerous boxes on the table. "I'll take these three," you smiled, selecting two dark grey shirts and a gorgeous black vest that you knew would suit your man well.

"Oh hey! Didn't see you coming in".

Wylan simply laughed and examined the clothes that were being folded neatly and transferred in a bag. "For you?"

"Oh no," you shook your head and paid the kruge, it was a little expensive but it's fine. You could give him a gift every now and then. "It's for Kaz".

His eyes widened in surprise just a tiny bit and his lips stretched wide as the two of you exited the store. But then he suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you towards an artefacts shop.

"How would this look on Jesper?" He said and pointed at a hat which was exactly what the gunslinger preferred.

"Absolutely perfect".

"Hey take a look at this," he directed your attention towards a few bracelets kept neatly in a box, making sure to keep his trained on you to pick up on every little change.

Your hand instinctively flew towards a handmade one woven with black thread. It was quite simple but had an intricate design. You loved it immediately and wasted no time in purchasing the little present.

"Let's go?" You asked, almost forgetting for a moment that you weren't alone. While the boy had his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face as he followed your lead. Having an intense conversation with himself in his head.

It was almost night when you entered the Slat again and two of the Crows were lounging in the basement itself with the exception of Inej and Nina.

"I'll be back in a few," you whispered to Matthias who nodded and you climbed up thr stairs, eagerly wanting to give Kaz the gifts you had brought.

He waited until the sound of a door closing was heard before looking at Wylan who had a cheeky grin on his face.

===============================

3. Inej & Jesper

"Look at his hand!" Matthias whispered under his breath and nudged Wylan whose eyes shot towards Kaz Brekker. And indeed, a black bracelet was clasped onto his left wrist. Not that noticeable but nowadays nothing could ever escape their sharp stare.

"I've never ever seen him wear anything synonymous to jewellery," Matthias muttered and passed the message to Nina who perked up with a bright grin, as though struck by an inspiration.

"Watch me," was all she said and the the two boys glanced ahead in apprehension as she neared your location and bumped into you quite harshly.

"Saints!" A small shout escaped your lips as you were thrown backwards onto Kaz who was right behind you.

"Goodness I'm so sorry," Nina immediately apologised, not being sorry in the least as she rather scanned the couple's reaction.

Your back was pressed against Kaz's chest while his gloved hand, the one wearing a bracelet was wrapped securely around your waist, holding you against him. You placed your palm on top of his in reassurance, and your heart started taking up its pace.

"You okay?" He murmured in your ear and helped you stand up straight as you nodded; and he shot a deathly glare towards the heartrender, who gave a grin and sashayed her way back to the boys.

"I'm fine, thank you for that," you whispered before returning to the documents that were scattered on the table.

"You saw that?" She joined the duo with an excited expression, her hands flapping in front of her. "He didn't even flinch at her touch! It was almost like-"

"Like he's used to it!" Wylan completed her sentence and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Usually he'll push the person off for even invading his personal space, much less someone actually falling on him," Matthias added and she agreed.

"Ghezen this is going much better than I expected. Fifty kruge that they're already together since the past few months".

"Oh yeah?" Jesper interrupted the conversation with the biggest smirk on his face as he sat down, joined by Inej who was shaking her head with a smile. "Hundred kruge says that they've been married already".

"You do know that you're horrible at betting, don't you?" Matthias asked, raising an eyebrow at the large sum.

"But I think Jes is right on this one," Inej supported him making the said person's grin widen if that was even possible.

"What's making you so sure?" Wylan asked, quite suspiciously.

"Let me ah- tell you a little something I saw," his brown eyes glinted as he recounted the miracle that he and Inej had seen.

Jesper was walking on his usual route that led him back to the Crow Club with the Wraith beside him. They had both finished their parts of the job and had met on their way home.

"You got some intel?" He asked, his eyes scanning the various treats that were covering the shelves of stalls.

"Nothing," she answered with a sigh. "It is the same. He comes in everyday sharp at 7 in the morning and leaves exactly at 5. There has been no change at all".

"I think I'm going insane," he suddenly whispered and stopped dead in his tracks making Inej tense up immediately as she looked around for any threat.

"What's wrong?"

"That- That's Kaz isn't it?" He questioned, unable to believe the words that were on their way through his mouth. "In a- a goddamn flower shop?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed lightly but her she too froze upon seeing a familiar figure standing merely a few metres away. "Saints that is Kaz!"

"Let's go," he nudged her and she hesitated, not really wanting to pry but curiosity certainly gets the better of everyone. They walked closer silently, hiding behind another store which gave them the perfect view.

And there he was, the bastard of the barrel holding a beautiful, red rose in his bare fingers. Yes, he did not have his gloves on. Something that was noticed by the two.

They saw as he paid the small amount of money and began trodding down the road, his cane held tightly in one hand and the rose was held in the other that was hidden behind his back.

"Breadcrumbs," Jesper smirked at her and she let out a laugh as the two followed their leader, becoming increasingly suspicious. They didn't have to wait for long as the person that they had expected arrived soon enough making the two Crows grin.

"Nina was right after all," Inej muttered as she watched you waving at Kaz to gain his attention and the spying people stepped closer, wanting to hear the conversation that would surely grant them something.

"Hey," they heard you whisper, sounding slightly breathless.

"Hi," Kaz replied and took a tiny step closer so that his shoes were touching yours making you bite your lip. "This is for you," he added and presented the rose, his eyes hungrily scanning yours for every little change that he itched to see.

And you rewarded him with the grin that he oh so loved. When your mouth fell open slightly in surprise before morphing slowly into a gorgeous and breathtaking smile.

"For me?" You asked despite yourself, gently taking the flower from his hand and twirling it in your fingers. "Are you sure?"

A small frown marked his face, "Of course I am. Why do you ask such a thing?"

"Is it not for someone else? Maybe a pretty girl that you're thinking of wooing to help you get whatever information that you need," you teased, your lips pressed together.

"Darling," was all he said. His voice low, deep as he stared intently into your eyes, tilting his head to look even deeper. "There is no one like you," he finished and let a small smile form on his hardened face.

Jesper who had been listening with every ounce of concentration had to slap his palm over his mouth to prevent a squeal from escaping his feeble clutches. It was only for Inej roughly smacking his arm and dragging him away that he managed to not give away their position.

"Hence proved," he concluded his story with his arms extended to the present crowd who were utterly and completely shocked.

"No way that actually happened," Matthias grumbled, muttering to himself while Nina looked like she'd just received all of the available waffles for free.

"I'm a genius," she laughed heartily and chugged down a shot of whiskey in celebration of her matchmaking skills.

"I'm so going to win that bet, Zenik".

"Don't count your pigeons before they're killed, Fahey. We can't be so sure that they're actually married".

"We have to ask them!" Wylan urged, sitting up straight and looking at them for their opinions.

"We will," Nina nodded firmly while the rest appeared unconvinced. "Tomorrow".

"Let's hope that we're not murdered in our beds later that night then," Jesper sighed but he too couldn't contain his excitement.

===============================

4. The Confrontation

"Kaz," Nina said in delight as soon as the man climbed down the last step.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day when you're actually looking happy to see me," he retorted making her roll her eyes.

"We need to talk," Jesper elaborated making him raise an eyebrow as he took in all of his Crows minus you and Inej sitting with their arms crossed and heads held high.

"Does it concern me?"

"Of course it does that's why we're asking!"

"Saints give me the strength," he muttered under his breath before looking at the lot. "Go on then I don't have all day".

That's when Inej entered the scene, dragging you along with her and making you stand next to Kaz. "What's going on?" You questioned, heavily confused and looking around for an answer.

"We need to ask you something," Wylan answered your request.

"I gathered just as much".

"Are you going to ask or not?" Kaz growled in annoyance, his patience running thin.

"We just wanted to know-"

"I've been wanting to ask-"

"We had a feeling that-"

They all began together but not one could complete their sentence until Jesper was the one to blurt it out.

"You're married?"

Kaz and you stood still, dumbstruck before visibly relaxing and you chuckled, "That was quicker than I expected".

"I don't think four years is quick, love," Kaz responded, his lips stretching just the slightest making the crowd explode.

"FOUR YEARS?!"

"YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED!"

"WHEN DID YOU EVEN START DATING?!"

"HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO PULL HER OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE??"

"Ask him about it," was all you said and sat down on a chair with a very obvious smile adorning your pleased face. Everybody fell silent at once and you knew you had said the right thing. Nobody sensible would ever dare to question Kaz.

Jesper glanced nervously at him, "Can I atleast see your ring? Just to you know, have some confirmation?"

You laughed and pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, revealing a thin but elegant silver band encrusted with a small diamond at its center.

"K- Kaz?" Wylan asked, or rather pleaded.

To their surprise, he took off the glove of his right hand to reveal a similar ring resting beautifully against his pale fingers.

"Saints I win!" Jesper said in disbelief and stood up straight, slowly turning his head to look at Nina. "GIVE ME MY KRUGE!" And all watched as the girl slowly backed away, probably hatching an escape plan and ran swiftly with him hot on her heels.

"That was something huh?" You grinned and looked at your husband, slowly leaning over to intertwine your fingers with his.

"Quite," he huffed lightly but couldn't stay annoyed for long and alas, he too smiled. Not a particularly big one, rather a small, gentle twitch of his lips. One that was only ever displayed for you.

His eyes held the entire universe as he admired you from the side, looking at you as if you had hung those few stars that formed his constellation.

===============================

Taglist :-

@phoenix666stuff

[superstarvia-333]

𝗍ɦ𝖾 ᥣαω 𝖼α𐓣𐓣ⱺ𝗍 𝖿α𝗂ᥣ 𝗒ⱺυ.

the only way the law could "fail" is if you're failing yourself. something that i've learned throughout my journey is that you need to have faith in yourself and know that no matter what your 3D is showing you, it isn't permanent. this current reality isn't forever. and the more i came to terms with that the easier it got for me to focus on my 4D instead of whatever my eyes were showing me.

speaking of 4D and 3D, something i've seen a lot of creators say on here is that you have to ignore your 3D and while i do think that is helpful and does work, you don't have to ignore your 3D. that shit is HARD man especially when all you've ever known is what your eyes have been looking at. something that helped me out before i kinda stopped looking for results in my 3D was tricking my brain. like i would check for my results but if i wasn't seeing them i would just think as if i was. for example, a while back my phone was acting up, like badly. it would NOT charge no matter how many times i would plug it up and i got so frustrated that i ended up breaking one of my portable chargers from putting it in and out of my phone so much 💀

it took me a minute but i remembered that the law is y'know...the law so i started affirming my phone was charging. throughout the next couple of hours, i kept looking at my phone to see if it was charging and sure enough, it wasn't. but instead of giving up entirely i just thought as if it was and every time i checked i would go, "yep my phone's charging alright". that night i went to sleep still affirming because even though my 3D was deadass showing me that my phone did NOT wanna charge, i still knew that there was another reality that my phone was charging in. the next morning i woke up and turned on my phone and it was fully charged unlike the previous night when it was fully dead. my conclusion is, you must have faith in yourself my love. you already know how powerful you are. you've done the research, you've done the methods, you just have to remember that no matter the circumstance, you already have whatever it is that you want. nothing is gonna stop you from getting that desire because it's already yours.

𝗌𝗂𐓣𝖼𝖾𝗋𝖾ᥣ𝗒 𝗒ⱺυ𝗋𝗌,

𝐕𝗂α ☆

[dystopyx-blog]

Stuck in twst without meds pt 2

electric boo-hoo-galoo

featuring: CATER, SEBEK, SILVER, LILIA and special guest star ✨️BONUS✨️

Idk I just imagine Cater not giving any fucks. He treats you like normal. This obviously endears Cater to you, as everyone else is low-key very annoying when it comes to your diagnoses. So now you're the closest to Cater, of all people, and he does not hesitate to post a million pictures of you two hanging out to Magicam, reminding everyone else that he's your favorite and missing everyone the fuck off.

Sebek is the fucking worst when it comes to this omfg. You know how he is in game, the annoying little crocodile, obsessing over Malleus and being low-key racist??? towards all humans? Uh YUH he is one of the most ableist by far. And yet he's always helping you, like why??? Bro he acts like he hates you, yet he follows you around like you're Malleus??? He will not leave you alone, insisting you need his help.

Hey you n Silver are kinda similar when you think about it. Like you may not be falling asleep, but you're definitely not awake whenever your attention decides to deficit. He often finds himself wishing he could use his UM to see what you're daydreaming about. I'd only it'd work that way. You do also feel empathetic towards his lights. You even introduce him to the rubber band trick, where you wear a rubber band and snap it whenever your brain wanders or you start to feel sleepy. Sometimes when he sees you snap it, he finds himself fiddling with his own... not because he's feeling drowsy, but because he feels connected to you.

Liliaaaaaa. Silver and Malleus are the only ones who really realize this, but you make Lilia go full dad mode. No joke. He employs all the same tricks he used on those two on you. But neither Silver nor Malleus would ever tell you this, not on purpose. Mostly because Lilia is always watching/listening to ensure they don't. Because he knows you'll get upset if you learn he is quite literally babying you. But it's so hard not to!!! You remind him so so much of them... of Malleus with your mood swings, of Silver with your nodding off. Plus, as a human, you are a baby to him, so in a way, you should let him treat you like one. I think that's Lilia's favorite part, you make him feel so young.

BONUS

Sam has your meds. They're available in his shop, and they have been the entire time. You're just in the shop when you see them, and Sam's just like, "why didn't you ask sooner, of fucking course I have your meds in stock, why wouldn't I, I'm SAM."

So this raises a new problem, because he's, yknlw, SAM, so you won't be getting your meds without paying up.

And with your measly earnings, there's no way you'll be able to consistently pay for your meds.

So this raises a new challenge for the yanderes: who's gonna be your supplier? Your sugar pill daddy, if you will.