#you just get ignored for nothing
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My coworker has been so rude to me the past few days
#on Tuesday he completely ignored me#like that was just fuckinf rude#he’s acknowledging me today but barely#it’s very much civil#and not entertaining me#i turned to complain to him about a client which I normally do#and he was just like yeah that sucks#with nothing else#which is so odd#yeah he’s being so rude n weird so fuckinf annoying#it’s not that his presence is that much to me but it’s just fuckinf rude#also not to project the trauma#but it just reminds me of how my dad would just straight up ignore me if he was mad at me#and sometimes you don’t even know what he’s mad about#you just get ignored for nothing#and you have to guess what you did wrong and walk on eggshells and eventually apologise#it’s fucking ridiculous#rambles
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Guys ive been reading peak
#dandadan#momo ayase#ayase momo#okarun#seiko ayase#ayase seiko#cant believe the actual plot of this show is “this guy's genitals were stolen and we have to get them back” 💀#theyre so funny i love these guys#its like if mob psycho and csm had a foolish baby#the stupids ever#dont get scared by that one scene in that first episode thats the worst it ever gets i heard the creator was forced to put it in or no manga#just like olan and that piss fight scene in final space sighhhhhhhh evil people in charge..............#okarun and ayase are so silly i love them sm they make me go YYYAAAAYYYYYY ^_^^^^^^^^^^#ignore the bad sizing for the letters my handwrutung is naturally horrible plus i was hella zoomed in shhhhhhhhhhh you see nothing........#LIVE LAUGH LOVE !!!!!!!! YAYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!
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I really love gertrude robinson bc how often do you get an older woman character who just really sucks? She sacrifices ppl that trust her. She is so focused on keeping the world from ending that she completely doesn’t notice one of her assistants routinely torturing the others. She dismembered a guy. She does her job badly on purpose. She’s cunning and sneaky. She dares her murderous, immortality seeking boss to kill her. She gets murdered by her murderous, immortality seeking boss. She’s not particularly friendly. She somehow had access to plastic explosives. She’s a manipulator and a liar. She’s bound to the avatar of destruction. She helped a guy get rid of a pig by telling him to put it in conk crete. She is like the opposite of a sweet little grandma and that’s beautiful.
#tma#tma spoilers#the magnus archives#gertrude robinson#I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fanon interpretation of her being kind and motherly#and that’s sooooo amazing to me#bc female characters (esp older ones)#are so often relegated to being the mom friend or some similar trope that completely ignores their personality#so I love that she gets to be just the most morally gray old woman#with an amazing voice#ever#tma podcast#what if I fell in love with her#what are you gonna do about it?#nothing!!#you can’t!#can’t wait to be sacrificed <333
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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Thinking about a bingqiu Dreamling AU where Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua are both bored deities, just sort of taking a brief sojourn through the mortal world to shoot the shit and see some interesting monster or other that Shen Yuan has heard about, when they come across a tea house and decide to take a break and do some people-watching instead.
Shen Yuan is well into something of a shut-in phase, which Shang Qinghua doesn't like, mostly because when Shen Yuan is in those phases he doesn't do particularly well either. Shen Yuan's a social butterfly, for however little he cares to actually acknowledge it about himself, and his critique of Shang Qinghua's literary masterpieces gets so much harsher when he's not getting enough enrichment.
So when they overhear one of the kitchen boys solemnly insisting that he is going to do everything in his power to never die, and Shen Yuan laments that the boy would probably regret such a wish if it came true, Shang Qinghua decides to bestow a rare bit of godly power onto this mortal and grant his wish.
He doesn't make him a god, of course, that wouldn't even be in his ability. At least, not without using up more time and effort than he's prepared to expend on this one random kid. But immortality on its own is not that difficult. The boy will still finish growing up, and will still be able to be harmed, to know hunger and pain and illness. It just won't ever kill him.
Shen Yuan sighs that it's a cruel thing to do to a mortal, especially one with such low odds of ever cultivating other skills to mitigate the potential torment of it all. But Shang Qinghua just shrugs and they place bets, that this boy will ask for the immortality to be revoked in a hundred years, or two hundred, or so on, or else he won't. Shen Qingqiu approaches the kitchen boy and flusters and bewilders him by telling him to meet him back here again in a hundred years time.
A hundred years later, the tea house is larger. The boy has grown to be a striking young man, who looks at Shen Yuan with wariness and something else, something almost like awe, as he asks what manner of creature he's made this bargain with. Shen Yuan assures him that he has no nefarious intentions, and instead asks Luo Binghe how the past century of his life has gone.
Horribly, at least at first. Binghe's mother had already died by the time they met, but afterwards he managed to earn enough money to travel to a nearby sect. Working in the tea house's kitchen was just a minor stopover along the way. Shen Yuan was wrong, it seems, about his odds of becoming a cultivator -- Luo Binghe earned entry as a disciple.
Yet, he had no success. The master who took him on was unaccountably cruel and mercurial, and Luo Binghe's attempts to cultivate failed. Looking back he sees now that there were many times when he should have died but didn't, but when it was all happening he just thought himself lucky. At least until an enemy sect attacked a cultivation conference, and he suffered mortal wounds that absolutely should have killed him (or anyone) but still didn't die. (No demon race or abyss in this AU, but there are still demonic and fantastical creatures.)
His cruel master, upon witnessing this, accused him of heretical practices and tried to kill him as well by flinging him off the edge of a gorge. The fall was terrible. Binghe lay at the bottom in a horrifying state, injured beyond reason and yet, still, he didn't die. Eventually his body recovered enough for him to drag himself out, and once he did the only thing on his mind was getting revenge. For the next several decades he managed to ingratiate himself to all manner of potential allies, forging alliances, accumulating blackmail, and convincing people that he had to be some powerful cultivator through his supernatural resilience, lack of visible aging, and a lot of bluffing. He got revenge on his old teacher, drove his first sect into ruin, and rose to prominence as a feared and respected leader of the cultivation world.
Shen Yuan listens with clear interest, asking plenty of questions and seemingly quite taken up with the story. At the conclusion, Luo Binghe admits that his actual cultivation is still mostly a matter of smoke and mirrors, and wonders if -- now that the hundred years have passed -- Shen Yuan means to strip his immortality from him.
Shen Yuan asks if Luo Binghe wants that. When Luo Binghe says no, he accepts the answer, and tells him to meet him back here again in another hundred years. Luo Binghe calls after him, but before he can ask anything more, Shen Yuan has disappeared again.
A hundred years later, Binghe arrives back at the tea house with an entourage befitting of an emperor. The tea house has also expanded. Luo Binghe orders a lavish feast from them, which everyone hastens to provide. He's spent the past several decades consolidating his power, forging alliances with key political players via several marriages, producing heirs, and crushing his enemies. As he brags about the state of his massive harem to Shen Yuan, the deity's eyes begin to glaze over. He doesn't seem impressed. He also doesn't seem to care much for the food, and eventually his attention is stolen away by a conversation at another table. The diners are discussing the exploits of a promising new poet and novelist. Try as he might, Luo Binghe fails to regain Shen Yuan's attention before the evening is done. Shen Yuan doesn't think it's a big deal -- after all, if Binghe is still riding on top of the world, he's probably not going to want his immortality gift revoked just yet!
Another hundred years go by. The tea house has returned to a more modest situation, the next time Shen Yuan sets foot in it. He waits an unusually long while for his guest to arrive, and when he does, he's almost stopped at the door by the tea house's servers. It's only when Shen Yuan bids them let him through that Luo Binghe is able to come to the table, almost collapsing against it and desperately falling onto the arrangement of snacks with obvious hunger.
Shen Yuan wonders if this, now, will be when the boy (no longer a boy) asks for the immortality to be revoked. Surprisingly, he finds himself resistant to the idea, even though it's also clear that the game has run too long. Maybe hundred year check-ins were too short? He doesn't like the implications of what's gone on, even if he's not really surprised about it either.
Between desperate mouthfuls of food, Luo Binghe explains that without mastering inedia, going hungry but never dying is a deeply unpleasant experience. Shen Yuan orders more food. Once Binghe has finally eaten his fill, he begins, haltingly, to explain his situation. His clothes are ragged, he is painfully thin, and his gaze is haunted.
Apparently, several of his wives conspired to assassinate him, despite his reputation as unkillable. Realizing that most poisons and such didn't kill him, but that he could still be incapacitated, they hatched a scheme to dose his food with a powerful sleeping agent, and then walled him up in a famous ancestral tomb. They went to great length to ensure that it was impossible to escape from. It took Binghe decades to do it anyway, digging away at the floors, and when he got out he found that his power base had collapsed. In-fighting and the incursion of his enemies had led to the deaths of all of his children, and what wives had survived had either fled or remarried. Not that he particularly wanted them back at that point, since the ones actually most loyal to him had also been killed early on after his own "death". His face marked him, to the eyes of his enemy, as a surviving descendant of himself. He was hunted down, chased across the continent and back again, until he managed to fall into enough obscurity that his pursuers abandoned the chase. Except that he has nothing, and any time he tries to regain something, he runs the risk of being hounded again. Those who might see some potential in him still remember the collapse of his recent "dynasty" and slam doors in his face, or else try and turn him over to those now in power in pursuit of a reward. Those who don't know that much see only a dirty beggar, and usually run him off on that basis instead.
Shen Yuan, almost hesitant, asks if Luo Binghe would like to have his immortality revoked.
Luo Binghe declines. How will he be able to take revenge on those who wronged him if he is dead? He has a hit list a mile long by now.
Which is definitely not the most noble of reasons to persist, but Shen Yuan finds himself reluctant to ask twice. Instead he orders more food, and then even reserves one of the traveler's rooms above the tea house for several days. By then the sky is turning grey, and Luo Binghe is losing his apparent battle with exhaustion. Shen Yuan presses the key into his hand, thinking it's probably not enough, but there are limits to how much gods are supposed to interfere and Shang Qinghua already stretched them to the breaking point with this entire scenario.
He leaves, not seeing the hand that reaches after him just before he is out of the door and gone.
Another hundred years pass. This time, Shen Yuan arrives to find Luo Binghe already waiting for him. He isn't surprised to see that Binghe's situation has visibly improved -- maybe he was keeping closer tabs on him, just a little bit, for this past while. If only to be sure he wouldn't have to warn the tea house workers to expect an unorthodox visitor again! But no, Binghe has been doing well enough for himself. No more harems or thrones, though. He dresses more like a well-off merchant now, deliberately posing as his own mortal descendant rather than as a great immortal cultivator. The food at the table looks far more delicious than usual too (Binghe commandeered the tea house's kitchen himself this time). As they chat, Shen Yuan is regaled with the exploits of Luo Binghe's travels and adventures, how even though he initially set out to claim revenge on those who overthrew him, by the time he was in a position to actually do so they had already died of the usual causes (time, illness, their own schemes backfiring, etc). Subsequently, only their children and grandchildren were left with the scraps of power they had obtained, and when one of those children employed Luo Binghe as a bodyguard, his initial plan to assassinate them eventually fell by the wayside. After all, the wrongdoings weren't actually theirs. From that point, Binghe was able to restore himself to a more comfortable life, joining his new employer on their travels until he had set aside enough earnings to take his leave before his youthful good-looks earned him suspicion. He then began investing in travel and trade, specifically cargo ships, because never spending too long in the same place or around the same people helped disguise his immortality. He had found that, at least for now, this served him better than playing the part of a cultivator. It also gave him time to try and actually repair his ruined cultivation base somewhat, and fighting pirates proved very diverting.
Binghe is midway through recounting his adventures with a gigantic sea monster, while Shen Yuan hangs on every word, when they're interrupted by the arrival of a brash young mistress, clearly wealthy and trained in cultivation. The young lady declares that there is a rumor that a fallen god and a demon meet in this tea house once a century, that they wield strange powers, etc etc, and she intends to interrogate them both with the assistance of her hired muscle and her own spiritual weapon, and discover the truth of the matter. Then she whips out, well, a whip!
Before Shen Yuan can deal with the matter, Luo Binghe is already on his feet, disarming the goons and breaking a few arms in the process. Shen Yuan is so distracted that he almost misses the whip aimed right for him, but before Binghe can catch the barbed weapon with his bare hand (wtf, Binghe, no) Shen Yuan deflects it with a wave of his fan, and then efficiently knocks the troublesome young lady unconscious. The hired muscle flees, Shen Yuan arranges for their assailant to be placed in a room upstairs until she regains consciousness, and he and Binghe resume their meal and conversation in relative peace.
Even though it's clear that Luo Binghe has not yet reached the end of his tolerance for life, Shen Yuan nevertheless finds himself strangely reluctant to part ways at the end of the night. Still, he does, because that's what is expected of him, gently denying Luo Binghe's suggestions that they find some other establishment to continue their conversation at. He also has to investigate these "rumors" that the young lady mentioned. It's probably nothing (Shang Qinghua has a loose tongue when he's drunk, and a lot of imaginative storytellers have frequented this tea house over the years) but he doesn't like being caught unawares like that. Heavenly politics are... complicated, it's best not to court unwanted attention in any capacity.
Another hundred years go by. This time, when they meet at the tea house, Luo Binghe asks Shen Yuan why he keeps it up. Why did he pick Binghe? What is he really after? When Shen Yuan fails to give any kind of clear answer, Luo Binghe shoots his shot and makes a (very obvious) move on him.
Shen Yuan, flustered, gets up and flees. Ignoring Luo Binghe's calls after him. It just doesn't make any sense! Why would Binghe do that?! He's a man who once had a harem of wives in the triple digits! Clearly he's not gay, so what was that all about? Was he just messing with him?! How dare he! Etc, etc.
Another century passes. Luo Binghe waits at the tea house, which has fallen onto hard times again. With the construction of some new roadways, travelers no longer pass through as often. Binghe listens, worried, to the proprietor's laments that this old place will probably not be around in another hundred years. He listens because he has no one else to speak to, because Shen Yuan has not shown up. Not that morning, not during the day, not come evening, and not now that it is closing time. Binghe nevertheless charms and bribes the proprietor to let him stay even after the place has shuttered.
It seems damning, of course. He pressed too hard and now his mysterious benefactor wants nothing more to do with him. Except, no, he refuses to accept that. He's still immortal. And he has gleaned enough of Shen Yuan's character by now that he thinks that even if he was rejected, he would be let down more clearly and gently than this. The more he thinks about it, the less willing Luo Binghe is to believe that he has been deliberately stood up (also, since the tenor of his confession was different from Hob Gadling's, he never delivered an ultimatum about what it might imply when they met up again).
Over the centuries, Luo Binghe has built up a few contacts with similarly strange and supernatural stories. Cultivators, sure, but also others, fortune tellers and people of strange ancestry, questionable abilities, those who have interacted with powerful beings of mysterious provenance. He makes his way to a certain gambling den, frequented often by such people, and while he flashes around enough money to draw curiosity, he collects information. Shen Yuan wasn't the only person who started paying more attention to the kinds of rumors surrounding the two of them after their confrontation with the young cultivator a couple centuries ago. And in fact, Luo Binghe has been spending many, many years trying to find out more about his mystery man. Though, too many potential deities and immortals fit his description for him to have ever conclusively figured much out.
This is how Binghe gets wind of a rumor that an eccentric occultist has somehow captured a god in his basement...
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#bingyuan#scum villain#long post#whoever the roderick burgess proxy is here he's got a big storm coming#going the classic dreamling fanfic route and having shen yuan get rescued instead of having to escape by himself#shang qinghua has definitely made other people immortal on various whims and impulses#he bestows his gift recklessly on a betrayed young prince at one point and the divine emperor is just like 'enough!'#'if you're doing to do this I'm going to make you babysit the results! you descend and work for that prince now!' so he's got his hands ful#dreamling might be the situation but shen yuan isn't much of a dream of the endless type#and luo binghe is nothing like hob gadling lol#'I want to live because I love life!' nope it's mostly about spite#the hardest part of this AU is imagining a universe where shen yuan would ignore luo binghe for long enough to let actual centuries pass
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"Belphie was stuck in the attic for years!" "No he was up there for decades!"
bitch he was stuck in the attic for a few months at most. Lucifer sealed him there immediately before choosing MC for the exchange program (a week or two at most). If it had been years or decades since Belphie was locked up, MC couldn't have been in the exchange program because they would have been old or even dead.
Also, Solomon and the angels arrived in the Devildom the same day as MC. They left on the same day which means exactly one year would have been the day MC arrived. Which means the demons sent to the human world and the Celestial Realm also left the same day. Belphie disappearing years before the program officially started would have been extremely suspicious and Lucifer's lie would have fallen apart immediately
#you can't just ignore canon if you're going to argue with someone#if you both argue over headcanons neither of you is going to come to a compromise#the point of an argument is to change someone's mind about the topic#if neither of you have anything to base it on you'll never get anywhere and you'll just irritate yourself and the other person#and yes I understand OM has the most inconsistent storyline of anything I've ever played#but logic is logic and some things don't make sense if you headcanon certain things away#and eventually you'll gave your own independent story that has nothing to do with the source material#okay rant over#obey me#om#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#omswd#obey me storyline#obey me plot#obey me analysis#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#om belphegor#om belphie
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Okay this is the meanest thing im going to say & then im going back to happyposting but if you think bucktommy was “groundbreaking” and you’re saddened by the “loss of representation” then i think you might be stupid, and media illiterate, an probably racist, maybe even biphobic
#1) did Michael and David mean nothing to you? why?#2) Buck is still bi! nothing is changing that! we have not lost any bisexual representation#3) the bt relationship has been poorly written & confusing but one thing that’s always been clear was how short-term is was mean to be#you haven’t been lied to youre just willfuly ignorant#4) Lfj is at best a sellout with 0 morals/backbone & at worst a genuinely quanon supporter- and either was he is Straight!#yet it’s ostark who’s getting all the hate/fallout from this arc for playing a nuanced bi character??#and 5) whether they’re going for queer eddie or not - the buck/eddie relationship is Infinitely more beautiful & interesting & layered than#bt was#they have history And chemistry & they really could go all the way#911 spoilers#911 abc#buddie
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like the thing is people are dying from abortion bans and dying from FDA deregulation and everyone just looks at each other and goes “hmm my gas prices are too high”
#us politics#us elections#it’s so frustrating but there’s nothing i can do#all he ran on was transphobia and mass deportation#did dems fuck up? yes#not throwing biden out sooner shutting down walz and letting kamala be biden 2.0#and that’s just the pure campaign aesthetics of it not even talking policies#but for 4 years trump has spewed nothing but hate in this country#nothing!#he did a rally and called minorities every name under the sun#and you still showed up?#why?#cause groceries were cheaper#and like i get it too like damn shits expensive can’t find a job anywhere#but people are dying!!! and they’re going to make more people die#and this ignorant assumption that republicans are better at economy like 2008 wasn’t bush#or that trump didn’t ride obama’s coattails#i’m talking to a wall cause this is tumblr but whatever#man whatever 😭#and dems just suck and i hate them but trump sucks too like guys 😭 i hate that man!#…who wants to take one for the team
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shut up
#transformers#maccadam#drama#i like the cover#people saying it's too 'sexy' are the problematic sexists#this same shit happened with z0ner's cover. yes i bullied her too because i believed the stupid shit you guys were saying#I MANAGED TO GROW UP BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL DOING THIS TOXIC SEXIST ASS DANCE#i thought i was the bad person but honestly it's yall and your bullying asses#you're disgusting for bullying artists just because they draw women how they want#GROW UP.#I LOVE DRAWING CURVY SLIM SEXY ROBOT GIRLS#THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT#WE SHOULD FILL THE WORLD WITH MORE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE#IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ELSE... DO IT YOURSELF!!!! MAYBE ONE DAY THE COMPANY WILL LIKE YOUR ART ENOUGH TO HAVE IT ON A COVER#i like milne's stocky arcee just as much as average arcee from TFA just as much as svelte arcee in this cover#i really thought it was me that was why i left the fandom due to my ignorance but coming back and seeing this petty ass drama you guys#are unleashing... im realising that you guys are the problematic ones. omfg#you make it so unfun to be in this fandom. might as well publish the most recent animation i was working on then take the ones i've already#finished into hiding. you people suck the joy out of drawing for transformers.#transformers was my last bastion out of depression and you guys reminded me why people shouldn't get into transformers#getting back into tf revitalized my desire to draw and held me back from suicide. but knowing how toxic environment you guys are...#there's no reason to keep living with such inhospitable negative toxic bullies.
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Cipher's Personal Portable Portal Part 2
Here's the link to the first one! This picks up immediately after.
About five minutes later, with several pages of his notebook filled out and still frantically scribbling, Dipper decides this was a great idea.
Bill’s explanations are startlingly detailed, if delivered with little context and a lot of assumptions of prior knowledge. Like listening to the instructions of a master, skillfully explained at a damning pace that makes keeping up a challenge.
No wonder Bill was able to make the phone if this is the level he’s working at. On the staircase of skill, he’s sitting near the top, waving tauntingly to anyone below him over the railing.
There’s a kind of excitement, too. Not just on Dipper’s part - even Bill, amazingly, seems happy that Dipper’s keeping up, until he’s practically trying to outrun him.
And failing. Bill picked the wrong subject if he wanted to test brains. Dipper’s going to give him a run for his money.
The discussion continues longer than he expected, both lively and rapid. Demonic knowledge never seemed like it would have *that* much kick to it. At some level, Dipper kind of expected it to be primal and instinctual - but instead of delivering magic with brute force, Bill talks in high-level theory. Still practiced with more power than a human could manage. But clever.
He jots down that in his notes before he forgets. The difference between a regular demon and a really dangerous demon likely has less to do with raw power, and more on how they use it. Not so different from people, then.
Dipper pauses as his wrist starts aching from notes. It gives him space to think, and grimace.
Curiosity is great and all. But he has got to be cautious here.
Bad ideas have wrecked older, more talented magicians than him. He knows the lure of knowledge, and how easily he could be suckered into some kind of trap. Demons are simultaneously a great source of creative knowledge - and awful, in terms of tricks.
Learning one spell, though, and one he’s already mastered the normal way, probably isn’t going to hurt. And it has been a while since he’s talked to someone like this.
A person not bored senseless by talking spellcraft. Someone who keeps up with the conversation, fully engaged, without needing a primer. Who doesn’t think that ‘good enough’ is actually good enough, when you could do it better and cooler.
Their entire conversation might be more worrying, actually - if Bill wasn’t kind of a nerd.
Clearly he gets a kick out of teaching, if the enthusiasm and exclamation points are any indication. All his insights are precise and sharp, his concepts clever -
And he doesn’t dismiss Dipper’s weirder ideas. No, he has opinions on them. Loud ones.
Said opinions are also less-than-moral. But it’s weirdly fun to argue the details. Dipper quickly learns that enough nitpicking and ‘bet you can’t’ taunts turn the more explosive concepts into usable ones.
With such a strange conversation partner, it ends up going places he never expected. Teaching merges into tangents, into strange stories from Bill himself, and arguments about magic.
Eventually it leads into stories about Dipper’s own exploits. With more detail than he’d usually go into. The last time he talked work with someone, they left early and unmatched him on the app - but Bill’s clearly interested in magical freelancing. The pull is hard to resist.
So there I am in the pouring rain, covered in god knows what with an angry cannibalistic gryphon tied up in the ditch, when Jacob Jensen steps in front of the whole crowd and thanks his ‘helpful assistant’. For pulling off the plan HE put together.
And it’s not like I could say anything, the silence spell was still up.
HA HA HA HA! Oh man, you’re a walking comedy of errors. How does one human even get into this kinda crap? It’s hilarious!
But seriously, you shoulda cursed the guy. Not the kind of thing you should let your rivals get away with, kid.
Dipper rolls his eyes at the text. Another immoral solution, provided by an immoral being. He’ll ignore it, just like all the others.
Arguably he shouldn’t be talking to a demon about, like, literally *any* of this. Keeping the details of his life close to his chest. But it’s like Bill can do anything about it, either to make it better or worse. He’s a bajillion lightyears and a dimension away.
No, Bill, for like the fifth time, I don’t hex people. Even if they deserve it. Though in hindsight, I should have kept the dispelling spell charged.
Aha! There’s your problem! Not the skills, but speaking up about ‘em! Try some showmanship! Competence isn’t everything. Hell, compared to a great sales pitch, it’s basically nothing.
I guess. My great-uncle’s great at that stuff, but it never really took.
Sounds like you need a hype man! Someone who can get the word out about your talents. A guy who could bolster your rep. Hell, you could be a real star! Everyone could hear about your hero junk, including in their DREAMS. In fact - I might even have a deal, just for you!
Dipper snorts. He saw this coming a mile away. A demon would, of course, try to sucker him into a bad deal. It’s their entire thing.
He doesn’t take it poorly, though, despite the danger. Bill’s own sales pitch is clearly an off the cuff reflex, rather than a real swing at it. Like Stan pitching an ‘extended warranty’ to a customer, even when they’ve already bargained him down on the price of a souvenir.
Uh huh. Let me guess. I sell my soul, then your ad is going to be, like, ‘HEY! Hire this guy or you’ll find snakes in your bed! In your socks! In your wheat and wheat byproducts! Save yourself from snake terror and do it today!’
There’s a suspiciously long pause before the next reply.
Look, it doesn’t have to be snakes. There’s plenty of critters you can stuff into a cereal box.
The telltale tone of a conman who knows his pitch was shit. Dipper smirks.
Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll handle my own advertising. You’ve already taught me a few things about having a massive bloated ego.
Ha ha! You’re sassy company when you get worked up, human, it’s pretty hilarious! Like a hissy kitten or a dragon cub! Including all the sharp bits.
Dipper forces the smile off his face, frowning again. He’s not a kitten, for one. No matter how he sneezes. And two - that was barely a compliment, and only if the receiver is already weird.
Bill might be clever. He has his own strange charisma. Definitely a type of fascinating, intelligent monster - but he’s also evil and a jerk.
Still. He figures he’ll keep talking to the guy. It’s not like there’s too much danger, what with him literally being in another dimension.
Besides, how long has it been since he’s talked to anyone but his great-uncle about magic, in this much detail? Longer than Dipper can remember, that’s for sure. For all that Bill’s a demonic dickwad, anyone who wanted to learn complicated spells would be lucky to talk to him.
A thought strikes.
Dipper looks up from the demon phone. Darting a glance to his notebook, then back at the artifact.
Strange magic. Impossible spells. The scene of the crime, with this object buried under bits of the destruction.
The culprit was there, in the museum. And that fire he uses. It defies most known magic physics, powerful and weird. Not to mention the giant anvil incident, or the animated water tower, and half of the really weird curses, all of them requiring magical knowledge and power -
Where did Dipper’s target learn his special spells?
Thinking carefully about his words, he types out a quick question. Very casual, avoiding details that might lead to suspicion.
Speaking of company. Has anyone else talked to you recently?
Nah, it’s been a few centuries. You humans are usually pretty boring!
Grimacing, Dipper sighs. That’s a bad sign for his theory. He presses further.
So there ISN’T actually a group of people, quote, ‘craving your infinite knowledge’? A bunch of guys you’re feeding secret demon information?
Hey!! Of course I’m in high demand, I’m fantastic. But I’m ALSO not passing my number out to every mortal who wanders by, jackass. I have standards! High ones!
Dipper mulls over that statement. He’s only known Bill for a few hours, but he’s sure that teaching a human how to cause tons of chaos on Earth? Is totally up his alley.
And because he’s known him for hours, he thinks that was actually true.
Changing the topic, or filling the chat with distractions. Anything that would lead Dipper down the merry trail of another topic - all of that would be very demonic, and very suspicious.
Confrontation of a question, and one Dipper didn’t know he was asking, is a different story.
Bill’s not lying, surprisingly enough. He’s annoyed, because Dipper implied he was a… loose woman. Demon. Whatever their equivalent is.
Letting out a disappointed sigh, Dipper runs a hand through his hair.
If he’s the first human to talk to Bill in hundreds of years… Then the target didn’t ever have the phone, much less conveniently drop it at the scene of his crime. He came by his power in some other dishonest, evil way.
Welp. It was worth a shot, even if it was one in the dark. Back to square one, then.
Though what Bill said does bring up another question.
That’s funny. You’ve spent a lot of time talking to me.
Yeah, yeah, I’ll admit it - You’re fun enough! Silence is only golden when I’m in it, and even then it gets boring.
I mighta picked someone less goody-two-shoes personally, but you got brains, kid. That’s rare.
This time, Dipper allows himself to smile. He’s not so paranoid as to turn his nose up at an actual compliment.
Same to you. For a demon, I guess you’re not as awful as I thought you’d be.
Ha ha ha! Oh, cutie - I’m worse! A real bad boy, as you mortals say! Ten bucks says that’s your thing, am I right?
Warmth builds in Dipper’s face. That’s - He shuts his eyes, rubbing them briefly.
Okay. He must be interpreting that wrong. These beings are super weird. And Bill’s a jerk. Besides, he’s probably some… multi-eyed flesh tangle, or giant cockroach. Maybe even an abstract concept.
That was just a condescending comment from a condescending being, devoid of any human meaning. Best not to read too much into it.
For lack of a better response, he texts back, Shut up.
Never! Too bad I gotta run for now, but I know I’ll be hearing from you. You’re a curious guy! Just filled to the brim with it!
And I got plenty of ways to satisfy.
Dipper starts typing a response, but the keyboard's gone. The last bit of Bill’s message slowly fades until the screen goes dark again.
Okay, it’s - whatever. So Dipper didn’t get the last word in. He didn’t need to anyway.
Dropping the demon phone, he pulls the flat hotel pillow over his face. If he doesn’t see the damn texts, maybe they’ll stop lingering in his head.
God, if this is what the slightest bit of attention does to him, he’s really got to download the dating apps again. Or talk to his family more than a phone call once every few days. Talk to real, actual humans.
He’s just been on the road too long, is all. When’s the last time he had a conversation with someone that wasn’t about work? Much less a person who’s kind of. Way more confident than him, and pretty smart, with a weird charm in his tone..
Dipper slaps himself on the forehead, dragging a hand down his face. He makes a ‘blguh’ sound, reminding himself not to get distracted.
That conversation did last a while, though. Night has long since fallen. No major magical mishaps have occurred to drag him out of this shitty bed. The brief respite comes as a profound relief.
Dipper yawns, rolling onto his side.
Weird extradimensional conversation aside, he’s got a big day tomorrow. Doing important stuff. Solving this mystery. Finding the man responsible for all the trouble, and making sure he never manages it again.
If he can manage it. If he can find him in the first place. If he doesn’t get burnt to a crisp in the confrontation, or run out of money on a dead-end endeavor, or look like a total idiot by finding a guy but it turns out to be the wrong one, making him start from scratch.
A thousand possibilities of failure. A billion ways things could go wrong. Dipper shoves his face into the pillow, and tries to quiet his own thoughts.
Eventually, tossing and turning, he manages a restless sleep.
The next day’s surprisingly quiet. No major magical incidents, no screams in the streets. A pretty calm day, all things considered.
As always, Dipper goes through the motions, setting up his ritual circle and sitting in mediation. His senses creep into the thin net of magic, searching for any movement like a spider in a web.
The only way he's found to keep up with the culprit is tracing the energy of his incantations, and following the leylines like they’re a roadmap. They vibrate like a plucked note on a string, right before each incident. Tracking such a vague line is a stretch for most magicians; even Dipper’s gotten turned around once or twice.
Problem is, he has to wait until the culprit’s already cast his magic to be able to follow his trail. By the time he catches up to the jerk’s location, nobody’s been there to pin the blame on. Even the few witnesses he’s spoken to have little to report.
The upside is that said reports are very consistent. The descriptions are of a blonde man, fairly tall. Wearing a too-big smile along with too-formal fashion - and nobody is ever sure how he got in the place or out again.
It adds a few hangups, but the similar description helps Dipper’s theory. It’s the same person, every time. One or two people might agree on a few details out of sheer chance. Nearly two dozen, all with the same image, is proof.
Now if only someone knew where to find the bastard.
There are cases and monsters that are ‘more important’, he guesses. In body count, at least. Single digit deaths - even if they’re weirdly creative ones - doesn’t sound super cool on a ‘monster hunting’ resume, considering what others can, and do, get up to.
That doesn’t mean this criminal isn’t a big deal, though. Somehow, the major magic they're doing has ripple effects. One of their ‘minor’ incidents can stir up enough latent magic in the area to lead to half a dozen smaller events, weeks or months later.
Somehow, this jerk is causing more flat-out chaos than every other monster combined, by a factor of five.
Dipper knows. He’s done the math.
He sits in intent focus for a long time; a half an hour when he checks his watch after. The tracing spell is intact, invisibly waiting for something to stumble over its tripwire.
Nothing has, though. Wherever his target holed up for the night, he hasn’t moved on since.
Maybe the plan is to pull something else in town. Or maybe one of those artifacts he melted exploded right in his face, leaving the jerk recuperating, or even dead. That would serve him right.
Either way, Dipper won’t know until either a body is found, or the guy makes a move. The odds of stumbling across the culprit are pretty low.
Dipper leaves the circle set up, just in case. A couple quick cantrips later, and it’s connected to his watch. If there’s any movement, he’ll know in a heartbeat.
Though if he’s being honest? He hopes there isn’t, at least for a while. Running around in this criminal’s footsteps is a job in and of itself.
God, it’d be nice to have a vacation one day.
Dipper stretches as he steps out into bright sunlight. For the last week he’s been constantly on the move, driving on backwoods roads and through tangled cities and just. Staying up too late. Wondering what the mysterious criminal is up to. One uninterrupted if restless night’s sleep has helped his mood.
When this is over, he’s going to go ahead and take a full week off. Maybe a month. Let himself lounge around in bed without a care, in a place he doesn’t rent out night to night. Long, luxurious showers where he doesn’t have to spring out at the next notification, or figure out how to get where he’s headed next. Something nice and calm and…
Well, not totally free of chaos. Dipper could have taken an office job somewhere, or worked in the government, if that’s what he wanted. But maybe a year or so at less of a breakneck pace. Fewer massively dangerous monsters.
That reminds him. Dipper pauses at the hotel entrance, patting his pockets.
Yep, one regular phone, one demonic. Good thing, too. If anyone else got their hands on that artifact, it could spell total disaster.
He breathes it in slowly, before feeling a pang of hunger that comes with an audible growl. Skipping dinner yesterday, probably not his best choice.
The good news is, in a morning surprisingly full of it, is that there’s a diner in walking distance. It isn’t even expensive.
Dipper holes up in a booth in the corner, relieved at the lack of other customers. More peace, more quiet. The waitress fills his coffee without comment, and the bitter burn of it makes him feel more human after the first two cups.
There’s a quick beep from his phone. He puts down the coffee, reaching for his pocket - then pauses.
It wasn’t his regular notification sound.
It was weird.
Dipper checks over his shoulder, a paranoid instinct. Again it’s quiet, not early enough for the early birds and not late enough for lunch. And hell, even if most of the diner wasn’t empty, it’s not like anyone cares about a person texting. Nobody can tell who or what he’s talking to.
He pulls the artifact out. The scrawl on the screen has their old messages, plus one new one.
Hey! Bored again! Whatcha up to, kid?
Dipper rolls his eyes.
Bill is many things - demon, weird, intelligent, astute. Total jerk. Surely he has better things to do than text the mortal that ended up with his weird-ass artifact. If he knows what phones are, surely he has internet.
Still, he writes back. Maybe more boring stuff will get on Bill's possibly nonexistent nerves.
Pancakes. You?
Booo, that’s lame! I thought your life was more exciting than this! At least say something about crazy syrup flavors, I’m dying here.
Sorry, no dice. Normally my job keeps me pretty busy. but I have a nice, boring day off today. Assuming nothing goes wrong.
Now there’s a topic! We covered the problem-solver bit earlier - but I know you’re not just doing BASIC stuff, because spying on you isn’t working as great as I’d like! What kinda wards you got up? Go into extra detail! It’s totally safe!
Suddenly checking over his shoulder doesn’t feel like enough paranoia. Dipper scoots a little further into the diner booth, hunching over. It’s not every day he remembers to put up those protections. Now he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget again.
Don’t think they’re doing you THAT much good, anyway! I know what city you’re in!
Dipper sits up straighter.
Aha. ‘City’, Bill says. Not ‘neighborhood’ or ‘building’, or even ‘the backmost booth in that crappy diner’. Bill might have the broad strokes of where he’s located, but it’s far less specific than he’s letting on.
Wow. Totally not suspicious, Bill. Definitely letting my guard down now.
Can’t blame a guy for trying!
Entertain me, then. It’s not like you got anything better going on, you said so yourself! Spill the beans, kid! How ‘bout starting with a name?
Giving out his name should be safe-ish. Technically it’s a nickname anyway, so there’s not too much awful stuff Bill could pull.
It’s Dipper.
What, like a hillbilly’s tin cup?
Like the constellation, dumbass.
Ol' Ursa Major, huh? And here I had pegged you for more of a twink than a bear!
How does Bill even know those words? Where would he - actually, Dipper doesn’t want to know. Bill probably ate someone’s brains, or picked it up in some wet dream. Whatever gross method a ‘dream demon’ uses to learn about human life.
I don’t even know how to respond to that, so I won’t.
What about you? What are you up to?
Today, not much! Normally I do whatever’s fun at the time! Making nightmares, eating childhood memories, robbing interdimensional banks, texting cute guys, that sorta thing. A few other extracurriculars when I get the chance.
Dipper blinks a few times. He has to set the phone down, rubbing at his temples.
Why does his imagination have to be overactive at the worst times. He really has to get out more. Better yet, he should put this phone down, pick up the other, and start swiping right on whoever’s nearby.
Before he can even begin to formulate a response, Bill texts again.
Right now, though, I’m waiting out a multiversal cosmos disruption. Kinda like being stuck inside during terrible weather! It’s a real drag staring out the window watching the debris fly by and not even being the one who caused it.
Wow. Rampant destruction! Sounds like a totally ethical hobby.
Ethics, shmethics! What a totally human hangup. Don’t you ever have any fun?
Dipper spends a few seconds thinking how to respond. Of course he has fun, he’s got the most fun-loving sister ever, and he’s…
Okay, maybe the last time he met up with someone for ‘fun’ was Mabel. And technically it’s been almost a year since they’ve been face to face - but he still does stuff on his own! Occasionally.
Other things are more important. He can do ‘fun’ stuff later. Once this particular case is over, he’ll actually have some time for it.
Another beep catches his attention.
The silence speaks VOLUMES. Jeez, is it all work, work, work with you? You didn’t seem like that big a stick in the mud!
I’ve just. Been busy.
Busy NOT HAVING FUN!!!
Yeah, well. Some of us have stuff like ‘bills’, that aren’t you, to pay. And reputations they’re building.
The advertisement deal’s still on offer, btw! Take it up anytime!
No thanks, and a little go fuck yourself.
HA! Gosh, you’re cute. But we were talking about FUN, here! You gotta have some hobbies, right?
Nothing as exciting as ‘rampant chaos’.
C’mon, kid, I’m asking. Indulge me. Movies? Games? Bloody revenge? And as for chaos - don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. I got PLENTY of tricks in that vein and they all RULE. Ever thrown a building on someone who annoyed you?
Dipper thinks back on the trick Bill showed him yesterday. The change and redirection. The power required…
It’s an exaggeration. Has to be. Or more likely, knowing demons, it requires some horrible sacrifice - but Dipper can see how others would find it tempting.
…Okay, I’ll admit it sounds cool if they’re unoccupied, but seriously, I’m gonna pass.
Eh, you’ll change your mind. I’m always gonna be around! You’ll take a deal one day!
Shut up. Anyway, I like puzzles? And spells and magic and stuff. But you already knew that.
And…???
And mystery novels, and action movies, and, uh. Dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons, which yeah, I know, nerdy. Honestly, a lot of nerd stuff.
I bet you’re gonna start typing ‘nerd’ in allcaps then backspace once you read me owning it.
A few seconds after he sends that, the typing dots appear, then disappear. Dipper smirks.
Whatever, NERD. I bet you’ve been ‘too busy’ with your boring ‘job’ to even kill some player characters in a fantasy game! Didja cast your character sheet in a fire and ritually burn your d20 when you gave up ALL joy in life?
….Okay, it’s been a bit, but fuck off.
Also, ‘nerd’. Says the guy who knows what a d20 is.
I know everything, kid! Doesn’t make me a nerd like you!
Says the guy who does advanced magical calculus
Oh, please. Big shot talking here. It comes with the territory!
Dipper sits up straighter. Now that’s a blatant lie. ‘Big shot’ or not, nobody delves that deep in theory unless they’re paid to or they like it.
Dude, I could copy/paste you having OPINIONS about Ergot’s Transition Theorem from YESTERDAY.
Total nerd stuff.
Bill’s furious response comes with a warmth under Dipper’s palms, and a faint blue flame on the screen - though not nearly as hot as yesterday. He snorts, watching the typing dots as they last for over a minute.
They bicker back and forth, quick and easy and - Dipper has to admit it - kind of fun. Bill’s ego is huge and he loves insulting people. Maybe he doesn’t have many people insult him back, because he keeps being surprised when Dipper has a retort.
So far - and it will be so far, by Bill’s own admission - talking to a demon doesn’t seem too dangerous.
Whatever else Bill might want, his main motivation genuinely seems to be entertainment. Nobody texts randomly about technically mundane stuff unless they're bored. Or continues the conversation unless they're enjoying it.
It's clear, under all the bluster and ego, that Bill's truly excited to have a new person to talk to. Someone who shares his interests, who can keep up a conversation, intriguing and combative in equal portions…
Yeah, Dipper sees how that would be enough to keep talking to some random weirdo. Even if it’s not a great idea.
Bill also seems to be angling for something. Dipper can’t tell what it is. It’s just a sense he has, from an odd turn of phrase here and there, a couple indiscernible metaphors.
He’s still frowning at a sentence - it came through in odd symbols instead of English - when the next line comes in.
So I take it you’re NOT dating a whole bunch of cute guys, gals, or other assorted entities, then using their heartbreak to power your motorcycle?
I’m like, 99% sure you can’t actually use heartbreak that way, and I don’t have a motorcycle. Also, no, not seeing anyone.
So if you’re trying to use a boyfriend or whatever to get to me, you’re out of luck.
Ha! Your lack of love life isn’t a problem, sapling! The opposite of one, in fact!
Dipper raises an eyebrow. Every time he thinks he knows what Bill’s up to, he finds another way to be bizarre.
Another statement it’s probably better to ignore. The questions are constant. And he doesn’t have to answer all of them. Honestly, it’s a better idea not to. Demon, after all.
But if Bill’s going to interrogate him, it’s only fair to flip the script.
I think it’s MY turn to ask questions.
Sure, why not? Go for it!
That was easy. Perhaps too easy.
Dipper narrows his eyes, but his mind races with questions. Ones he’s never had the chance to ask, things that couldn’t be found with rumors or books or even deadly personal interactions.
Getting honest answers from an extradimensional being is the type of thing scholars would have fistfights over.
Dipper, though, is handling this super well. He only has to delete a half-dozen sentences before he decides to keep it short.
Tell me about being a demon.
Like, where do you even live? Do you have a house? A den? Do you live in groups, or is this a solitary thing?
Do you guys even HAVE love lives or were you just trying to egg me on about being single.
Pfft, not ALL demons sit around in caves waiting to snag anything nearby. You must be talking about those low-level chumps! I’m way more important!
See, you’re talking to one of the top dogs in the whole biz. An infinite being of pure energy! I got a penthouse at the top level of my own terror pyramid, the realm of the mind under my thumb, a cool group of henchmen - AND I’m single and ready to mingle!
Taking that with a huge dose of salt, Dipper scribbles it down in his notes. At least half of that must be bragging. Major demons don’t just ‘hang out’ with humans, they devour them - but it’s interesting to see how Bill sees himself.
What’s it like over there? Actually, where the hell are you? Hell?
He finally asks! I thought I’d have to bring it up! And no, it’s not hell - it’s WAY weirder than that!
Dipper holds the demon phone a little further away from himself, suddenly wary. Even though he’s only known the guy for like a day, he senses the floodgates opening.
Bill’s going to brag.
I’ve got full reign of the liminal space known as the Nightmare Realm. The whole vast unconscious squished like a ripe eyeball under my thumb, AND it’s a pretty wild place to be! It’d blow your tiny mind if I wasn’t saving that for myself!
Like last week, there was this party, y’see? So I was at the bar, and - And there it is.
Demon information. Right from the source, and best of all: absolutely free from any so-called ‘deals’.
Since Dipper asked indirectly, the facts come in the same manner. Less of a list, more of a longwinded story told from the perspective of someone who always thinks he’s the main character. Dipper has to glean them through Bill’s stories for the details, rather than being instructed. But that, in turn, ensures that they’re actually true.
Well, mostly true. A significant portion of his notes get marked with a new little notation symbol he made up, just for Bill: Probably Exaggerated
Dipper’s hand cramps trying to keep up. Syrup is smudged in his notebook, making the pages stick together. He licks his thumb trying to wipe them off, then just puts tongue to page instead.
Still, it goes on for long enough that the torrent eventually slows. The more minor details repeat; the stories become less ‘what the fuck’ for demon power and culture reasons, and more ‘what the fuck’ for Bill-related ones.
Also, he’s absolutely bragging. To an extent that quickly evolves from ‘annoying’ to ‘obnoxious’, right around into ‘make fun of this guy’.
That part ends up entertaining. Bickering over whether or not Bill is a ‘big shot’, or ‘super cool’. He might portray himself that way, but there’s got to be more to it.
Unfortunately Dipper can’t argue on the cultural level - but he can match Bill’s level of sheer annoyance. People have always said his pedantry is irritating? Fine. Here’s a perfect target.
They go back and forth, over and over again. Dipper pulls as much semantics as possible to undercut his opponent’s ego, poking holes in every definition Bill tries to twist in his favor. Citing examples, where he can, where Bill could be interpreted as the massive freakin’ dork he actually is. And while he’s only about ten percent successful, it still feels like a victory.
After a particularly nice jab, that has Bill sending >>>:( without any additional text, Dipper sits back in the booth with smug satisfaction.
Nearby, the waitress clears her throat, startling him out of his triumph. With a raised eyebrow, she drops the check, giving his empty plate a pointed look.
By now it’s lunch, and his seventh refill of coffee's cold. He didn’t realize how much time had passed.
He hunches over the phone, feeling faintly embarrassed.
Look, I gotta go, but, uh. It’s been nice. Talk to you later.
Aww, what a shame. But hey! When you wanna start a conversation - tap three times on the screen, then whisper my name like you’re telling a dying man you’re the one that poisoned him!
Dipper frowns at the screen, then rolls his eyes. Yeah, that tracks. Contacting a demon would have to be in the weirdest way possible.
He shoves the phone back in his pocket, paying and leaving the diner. He’s well aware that talking to a demon is a terrible idea. That Bill could trick him, somehow, or have a nefarious plan. After only a day, there’s no way to tell what this is building up to.
But until then, Bill is useful. Smart enough resources will come in handy. Dipper will just have to keep an eye out for his real intentions, and not lose track of what he is.
Today , though, he can forget about all the chaos and the chase. Enjoying a quiet, peaceful day under a bright and cheerful sky.
This, like all things, won’t last long.
#writing is hard#Portal AU#Forgive me my love of bickering; there is So Much of it in this goddamn fic#I am at the very very end of writing this finally and it's Stupid Long#As in 40k#But I expect to have the whole thing done this month and in the meantime you get chunks as I edit#I hope you enjoy!!! I know it's very silly#But it seemed like a good premise/excuse to try something longform and also practice things I'm not great at like chatlogs and action scene#Ignore the me from the beginning of this project that thought 'oh yeah just a quick short smut'#That person was a fool and a moron who knew nothing
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i had a dream where something was off with riku’s shadow…
(this art is so sucks i made this when i was tired and less experienced which ended up making riku look so much skinnier than how i normally draw him post-kh2 can you stop engaging it with pretty pweeease)
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#riku#(and ansem. in shadow form)#IGNORE THE MISTAKE OF RIKUS HAND AUUGHH I HATE DRAWING HANDS#riku wasnt wearing his dream drop distance outfit but i drew him with it because. well. dream LOL#its so weird like it wasnt even clear what world he was in#he was in some sort of tavern?? so maybe you’d think it was the kingdom of corona#liek the snuggly duckling but it definitely wasnt#i couldnt tell you why but trust me#it was kinda surreal that i actually had a dream about kingdom hearts. go figure#its like the hardest thing in the world to have a dream about a fixation im having#usually my dreams are trauma. and me dying. sometimes both.#and if it is about my fixation it’s usually me getting a bunch of merch of it and then i wake up and whoops i dont have it#or i just forget all of my dreams and wake up with nothing to think about.#so i like it when i have some cool bizarre shit related to my fixation happen#its funny because this sounds like something that would happen in either kh itself or someones fanfiction#i wouldnt be surprised if someone has already drawn or written about this#anyway gn i hope i have another weird dream about kh
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m/m sitcom couples with their lesbian third wheel <333
#i am FIRM on these headcanons!!!#lesbian jess is controversial ik but i wont back down#i just ignore her relationship with nick because i want her to be gay <3333#community#new girl#the it crowd#iasip#i WILL forcibly lesbianise every awkward femme i get my grubby little gay fingers on and theres nothing you can do to stop me!!!!#oh and also the macdennis one also works with charlie as the lesbian
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So do you guys actually think that Jason's entire story, relationship to the others, and philosophy amounts to him being a rebellious teen who wants his dad's attention? Like are you 100% serious? I thought you were joking about that but too many of you are saying it with your whole chest.
And what the fuck is this "Bruce antagonizing Jason is fanon!" Shit I've been seeing? You guys are aware that a parent can love their kid and still be a shit parent right? I know you guys don't want to fathom the thought that maybe your blorbo might also occasionally have to face responsibility for consistently endangering children but let's not start being delusional now.
Bruce does love his kids, that doesn't mean that he hasn't hurt them. And I'd also argue that for the most part he feels in the right for it, and he's said multiple times that he believes it's for their own good, so you can't even argue that he's sorry about it. It's okay for you guys to admit that your PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of the character wouldn't do that but don't sit here and pretend that it's not a facet of the source.
#you can argue meta until you're blue in the face#but I can't ignore the ingerent abuse of Batman and Robin because DC is always drawing attention to it#Stephanie and Jason directly died because of Robin#Stephanie wanted to impress Bruce to live up to his idea of a sidekick and prove her worth#Sheila only sold Jason out when she found out he was Robin#Damians life certainly got worse when he became Robin/moved with Bruce#if you bring up racist retcons I'll kill you btw#how are we supposed to read children dying and being tortured and traumatized constantly#and just ignore that these are children#I can ignore the reality of child sidekicks in campy light hearted early comics#but if DC wants to deal with serious topic they're going to have to deal with some serious implications too#Also that post that's going around about “Bruce loves Jason and it's Jason who's causing all the animosity” is such bullshit#what the fuck are you even talking about#and let's not act like Jason is the ONLY one at fault and Bruce is just a poor loving father#is Bruce spreading that utter bullshit about Jason's death and who he was not an act of violence?#was he not the one to cast the first stone by disgracing Jason's legacy and using a version of him that never existed as a cautionary tale#and I know some of you are going to argue that with most of the kids there's nothing Bruce could have done to stop them#and this is the one time in which I will ignore all the very real ways that he could have#but I still think that in universe the characters have a right to be angry about it#Jason always since his debut as red hood been a vehicle for calling out Bruce#he's so heavily steeped in meta narrative because his run is when they started dealing with the real BAD cases#The Cult Garzonas onscreen murders were getting more common#AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME THAT BEING ROBIN DIDN'T MAKE JASON'S LIFE WORSE#THERE WAS NO REASON TO MAKE HIM ROBIN HE COULD HAVE BEEN VERY HAPPY AS JUST A NORMAL KID#But Bruce made having a place in his home synonymous with being Robin because the narrative dictated it had to be#what was homeless orphan Jason going to do? say no?#it was basically coercion and it doomed him and he has every right to blame the adult that put him in that position#dc#bruce wayne critical#bat family
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I think some people forget that peppino can be kind of a jerk. He's not your perfect awkward nervous guy who can do no wrong, he is not perfect, but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He has flaws, because thats a normal human thing to have.
Sometimes he gets angry and a bit mean, sometimes he takes joy in beating the shit out of the tower residents, sometimes he gets selfish or says something mean to someone. His anxiety is not his only flaw, please don't forget that. He is not a perfect sunshine boy who can do no wrong. He is not nice and friendly 100% of the time. He is a human person, he is a complex being who cannot be easily defined as completely good or completely bad.
Sometimes good people do shitty things. Sometimes a person will not act in the kindest way possible. Sometimes someone will do something not realising (or caring) how it makes others feel. Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people are wrong.
Peppino is a human, he is not immune to being a jerk sometimes. Again, this doesn't make him a bad person, it just makes him human, and I don't want people to forget that and misinterpret him as being someone whos only flaw is his anxiety. Yes it is a key part of his character, but theres more to this guy than that, thats not his only flaw or imperfection or whatever you want to call it. He's not 'kind perfect guy who also has anxiety', theres more detail to who he is than that.
Peppino can be a bit mean, Peppino can be hotheaded, and you know what? Thats okay because thats what a person is like sometimes, and that is a sign of a complex and realisticly written character (even if he is a cartoon guy, his personality still feels realistic). He's not the same guy all of the time, he doesnt respond to every situation in the same way, he's not a one note character. Sometimes he sucks as a person, but its okay because despite all that, he's a loveable and endearing character, and he isn't a horrible terrible person, he just is human, and thats okay.
#okay rant over just had to get that out#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino pizza tower#pizza tower peppino#pizza rambles#I'm not implying that having anxiety or other mental illnesses is a flaw or makes you a flawed person I just couldnt think of a better word#so sorry if it comes across that way!#I dont even know if I made any sense and got my point across but hopefully I did#my guy kind of sucks and that okay because I love him#sometimes people get such heavily head canoned interpretations of someone they forget what the actual character is like#and its like yeah nothing wrong with hcs but you got to remind yourself that maybe your version of him isnt the same as he is in canon#your brain can twist a character into your idealised perfect version of them which can stray from the actual guy you started with#and you gotta remind yourself of that sometimes#of course if were talking about au peppinos than ignore all of this but if were talking about just regular guy peppino than please remember#he's a bit of jerk sometimes okay? and we love him for that
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So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.
The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.
You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.
And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.
Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".
His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.
But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.
Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.
And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.
I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.
He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.
He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.
He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.
He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.
But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.
I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.
Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.
I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#ketheric thorm#and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him#I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's#work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their#whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them#after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for#granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what?#deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why?#some sense of 'honour'?#I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey!#this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where#it's actually valued. you know. as a treat.#I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very#interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve#but because you are desperate for a purpose#is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little.#again#PERSONALLY
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there’s genuinely no point in taking certain fans of That character seriously because they’ll be the first to purposefully misunderstand the story in order to uplift their own useless fav + any other female character with the slightest bit of autonomy is reduced to a girlboss caricature.
it’s basically the ‘masculine’ vs ‘feminine’ women trope and how all of these women suffer from the same system but some have fought their way towards having basic bodily sovereignty and others have assailed themselves within their circumstances, “you desire not to be free but to make a window in the wall of your prison,” and either perpetuate the abuse they deal with OR sit back and take it like a ‘good’ woman, hence the lack of culpability the stans of said character allow her to be responsible for. the mentality at play here is ‘she is a victim but she cannot possibly ALSO be a victimizer’ but both *can* be true at the same time.
rhaenyra is fighting to be the first ruling queen of westeros, a position that has been set in place before (aerea/rhaenys), but never come to fruition. her heirship has been contested since day one simply on account of her womanhood, not her political prowess or the dubious parentage of her first three sons. this is a fact, and the consequences surrounding her ascension have facilitated a civil war all in the name of the status quo. one side is attempting to honor the wishes of a deceased king, the other wants power, and uses the patriarchal standards already in place to further that goal. this leads to the death of rhaenyra, all but two of her biological children (to her only one survived), her former good mother, her husband, and the assured extinction of dragons.
rhaenyra is looked down upon by a certain portion of this fandom because the concept of protofeminism doesn’t exist to them. the idea that a woman being allowed to take a position of power during the medieval ages might lead to greater precedents involving women’s rights, which is exactly on par with westeros relying on the precedence of male preference primogeniture and the ruling made by the great council of 101ac. rhaenyra, obviously, didn’t make significant changes to women’s positions in westeros because she only ruled for a six month period in king’s landing and was beset by betrayal and treachery consistently during this period.
she was involved in a war that annihilated almost her entire family for the baby step progress of ‘daughters can inherit over sons,’ there was no time to help others when she was losing allies left and right to this very war. cases like the rosby and stokeworth situation are used to back up this take, dispite it being agreed upon rhaenyra verbatim chose to pass over them for fear of losing even more allies AND to protect the girls from being sold to violent misogynistic rapists as war prizes, not just because she believed herself to be the exception to the rule (corlys, in fact, is the one to state this). we also have no definitive proof showwise, either, that she truly believes in the system of men come before women -always- when the only thing said in regard to this is a throwaway line of jacaerys and baela’s sons inheriting the iron throne followed by her stating lucerys and rhaena’s children will inherit the driftwood throne, which is most likely a poor writing choice behind the scenes rather than any concrete proof to the latter.
brave baela, named after her grandsire baelon ‘the brave’ TARGARYEN, daughter of daemon TARGARYEN and laena velaryon, who had TARGARYEN ancestry, granddaughter of rhaenys TARGARYEN ‘the queen who never was,’ rider of the dragon moondancer, identifies completely with her targaryen ancestry and it is an integral part to understanding her character. she is of blood and fire, not salt and sea, and believes driftmark should pass accordingly to someone who corlys would value much more than her, the little girl he’s constantly overlooked on account of her gender.
baela is fighting to put rhaenyra on the throne and in turn jace and herself as the future king/queen. it’s not just for herself or for her stepmother, but for those who have now fallen as well. “i grieve my grandmother who loved me, but i carry her on with me. i will see rhaenyra ascend the iron throne, as rhaenys wished. as rhaenys HERSELF should have.” this cause is bigger than baela, bigger than rhaenyra herself, and baela knows this. yet somehow she’s ‘boring’ and ‘cringe’ in her dialogue or ‘nothing but a cheerleader,’ because she does not carry hatred in her heart for her kin over things they themselves cannot control.
what they have in common is their will, their wants, their ambitions; something that can’t be said for the other character because the writers want her to be a lead but don’t know what to do with her. she’s been relegated to nothing more than her hypocrisy, her self righteousness, her victimhood. she sleeps with a man whilst not married, she takes abortive teas against her religion, she abandons her children in their need for comfort, she’s spat on by the men around her and her own sons when seeking to place herself back into a familiar position of power. this isn’t the first time she’s experienced misogyny, but it is the first time she’s feeling the full ramifications of ridiculing and conspiring against the female claimant redirected at her, on account of the same reasons she took advantage of to propagate herself and her eldest son.
in the grand scheme of things rhaenyra and baela wouldn’t even typically be considered ‘masculine’ women, they’re just outspoken, assertive, and proactive; prone to not taking every bad thing that happens to them without at least some type of their own get back, and it doesn’t revolve around abusing other women to uplift themselves and the men they surround themselves with. which isn’t to say that the ‘feminine’ women’s strifes don’t matter, but to certain stans if they aren’t sitting back and being a pretty passive victim their struggles as a woman don’t count, for whatever reason.
#house of the dragon#hotd#rhaenyra targaryen#pro rhaenyra targaryen#baela targaryen#pro baela targaryen#team black#anti team green#anti team green stans#anti alicent hightower#if you’re not a hapless victim you’re boring and cringe and nothing but a girlboss#gnc women just can’t win#could this constitute as a rant? yes#i’m not double checking this for spelling/grammar mistake pls ignore if you find any 😭#the bird app has been FULL of dogshit takes recently#if y’all don’t get your grimy racist hands away from baela i’m gonna start blasting
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