#you just KNOW her ass would love touched by an angel and buffy the vampire slayer

[peachyhoneyadventures]

You know who'd thrive as 90's mom?

Edolisse.

[inkandpen22]

Beautiful Angel of Darkness (2/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female! Reader 

Warnings: Swearing, violence, angst, mentions of death 

Word Count: 2k

Part Summary: Y/N considers Spike’s offer, but for obvious reasons she’s hesitant. However, she can’t deny the pull feels toward him. 

Masterlist

“Forever is an awfully long time,” I state quietly, torn between the options of life or living forever.

“Um yeah, that’s sort of the whole point,” the stranger retorts as he pulls out a cigarette for himself.

“aw yes, that’s the way to get a girl’s permission to bite her,” I remark sarcastically. “Sass her to death!”

“I don’t need your permission, Pet,” he so ominously reminds me.

“I suppose not, but you prefer my compliance. Am I wrong?” I challenge. 

He glares at me while lighting his cigarette. “You’re such a tease, you know that?” He mumbles bitterly.

“And you’re a hard ass,” I fire back, unfazed. He stares at me with raised brows. “Oh I’m sorry, are you the only one who can name call?”

His eyes roll dramatically with a huff of annoyance. “I couldn’t pick a mute girl to be interested in.”

“I imagine she’d bore you,” I predict, crossing my arms over my chest.

He shrugs, “you’re probably right.” Casually, he hops up onto one of the nearby headstones and sits down.

“Get used to saying that sentence frequently,” I snicker, moving to sit on the headstone across from his.

“So, you want to be vamped out?” He waves me along, growing impatient.

“Oh, so I do have a choice?” I tease, pretending to be surprised.

“Not if you keep talking,” he grumbles, taking a hit of his cigarette.

“I have family and friends I have to consider,” I state matter-of-factly.

It’s true, I have a mother, my siblings, friends from school, all of whom will wonder what happened to me. I can’t just let that go.

“They won’t be a thought once you’re mine,” he claims, smirking at me mischievously.

“Why the sudden interest?” I inquire, genuinely curious. I imagine he could have anyone in the world, why me? Why now?

“I lost someone,” he answers, avoiding my gaze as he focuses on tapping his cigarette against the tombstone. “My girl, Druscilla.”

“So I’m the rebound,” I clarify, nodding in understanding.

His head snaps up, meeting my eyes directly. Apparently, I’ve hit a trigger point. He hops down from his tombstone and rushes over to me. The man pries my legs apart and stands between them. He cups my face in his hands, making me stare into his emerald eyes. “You will be far more,” he assures me with such certainty in his voice I can’t help but believe it. “You will be my reason for existing.”

My chest rises and falls at a rapid rate as I process it all. The longer I stare into his marble-like eyes, the more convinced I become. How could I ever deny him? “Okay,” I finally grant him my answer.

An amazing glimmer appears across his features and he steps closer. “Okay, what?” He repeats as if he isn’t sure he heard me correctly.

I place my hands over his that caress my cheeks. “Make me like you, but under one condition.”

He rolls his eyes, “should’ve known this was coming,” he grumbles. “What is it?”

“Tell me your name,” I request simply.

“Spike,” he answers without hesitation.

“What’s your real name?” I clarify, almost certain that ‘Spike’ couldn’t be it. “And not just your first name either, I want to know the whole thing.”

He frowns, evidently growing frustrated with the subject. “Why does it matter?”

“Because it does!” I argue.

“But why? It’s stupid,” he dismisses sharply, removing his hands from me, but remains between my legs.

“Because if we’re going to spend forever together I’d like to know your real fucking name so just say it!” I snap at him, earning a look of surprise.

Visibly, there’s a strong debate occurring in his mind. He sighs, shaking his head as he glances around the cemetery then back at me. “William, alright? My name is William Pratt, happy now?”

“Over the moon,” I joke with a giggle, reaching up and holding his cheek in my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Will.”

“Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you too,” he pretends to be hard and disinterested in the charm of it all, but I can tell by the way he subtly leaned into my touch that he truly longs for it.

____________________________________________

Becoming a vampire is by the far the most freeing experience of my life or should I say undead life? Either way, Spike has broken me free of all torments and has opened the gates to the world. There is nothing we can’t do together. The entire world belongs to us. All we have to do is reach out and take what we want. Each night, I wake up with a strong urge to destroy and devour. I’ve never felt more powerful and entrancing.

I’ve been a vampire for a few days now, but Spike has kept me confined to the crypt for safety reasons. He claims I’m fragile in the early days until I become used to my new status. To build my strength, he brings me humans to feed on and is teaching me how to defend myself. I’m still learning how to fight in case I ever run into the Slayer or her team of misfits. Her very existence is annoying, such an inconvenience. According to him, I’ve been adjusting rather well, better than usual actually. So, to celebrate my growing strength and swift adaptions, Spike is taking me to The Bronze tonight. It’ll be the first time I’ve been outside the crypt in a week! There’ll be so many people to feed on and every opportunity to terrorize, I’m so excited!

Spike grips my hand protectively as we travel through the crowd of the club. I rarely had enough time to visit this place when I was human. Taking care of my mom and siblings all while balancing school consumed most of my days.

“Oh great,” Spike grumbles, tossing his head back.

I grip his forearm and squeeze his hand worriedly. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“The Slayer and her clan of party killers are over there,” he growls, his eyes directed sharply at a nearby table.

I purr, watching the table of oblivious teenagers hungrily. I spot the blonde Slayer as she chats with her friends naively happily. So, that’s the infamous Buffy Summers. Spike has described her to me frequently. Apparently, we go to the same high school, different grades. I never really branched out of my grade or friend group for that matter. Immersed in the idea of snapping the Slayer’s neck for myself, I move to approach her. Imagine what her friends would do if I killed her right here and now.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Spike repeats quietly in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist to stop me. “Not here, Love. Wouldn’t want to cause a scene.”

“But I thought you loved the dramatics, Darling,” I mutter, keeping my eyes on Buffy with a pout.

“I do, but we mustn’t yet.” He brushes my hair away from my neck slowly, planting a pattern of kisses on my neck. “Let’s go dance.”

I smile, spinning in his arms to face him. Spike takes my hand, leading me to the dance floor. We pass the table of goody-goodies and chatter ensues amongst them. I whip my head around and find the Slayer. Her eyes narrow at me, a confused expression across her features. I turn my attention back to Spike right as he stops in the middle of the dance floor. He brings his hands to my waist, pulling me in closer. I drape my arms over his shoulder loosely and meet his exquisite emerald eyes. God, he’s gorgeous.

Seductively, Spike and I dance as though we’re alone in the building. I see no one else but him. He stares into my eyes so deeply that I can feel it in my soulless body. I would wreck the world for him. I would do anything if it brought him pleasure. Spike is now my purpose in this undead life. My purpose is to make him happy. If we were to ever be parted, I don’t think I’d survive it.

“Get away from her, Spike,” a voice interrupts us.

Our heads whip to our side in unison. The little blonde Slayer stands with her arms crossed. A serious expression plaguing her face. Aw, why the frown Buffy?

Spike snickers, tossing his head back mockingly. “Won’t even wait five minutes, will you?”

“Get out of here,” she commands sharply to him. Then, Buffy turns to me with softness in her eyes. She grips my forearm pleadingly, “he’s not who he says he is.”  

Oh, this is funny, she thinks I’m human. She assumes I’m an innocent defenseless victim. Okay, I could work with this. This may be the opportunity Spike and I was looking for, the perfect charade.

My eyes go wide and I step back from Spike anxiously, “what... what do you mean?” I move to stand beside Buffy.

Spike frowns at me as though I’ve lost my marbles.

The Slayer takes my hand, ready to pull me away, “he’s-”

“Must we cause such a scene?” Spike rips me away from Buffy, grabbing my wrist roughly. “Come on, Y/N, let’s go,” he instructs, wrapping an arm around my waist and escorting me to the door. I interlock my hands instead of leaning into him as I usually would keep up the act. Once we’re out of hearing range of the Slayer and her team, he whispers to me harshly. “What the bloody hell was that?”

I suppress a snicker, “you’re far too simple-minded sometimes, Baby. Buffy is going to follow us and I need you to just go with it.”

As he opens the door for me leading out into the alley, he glances at me in amazement. Finally, the pieces are coming together. “You’re trying to pull one on her.”

“Precisely,” I confirm with an evil grin.

Alone in the dimly lit alley, Spike squeezes my waist and tugs me into his chest. He bites down on my lip, peering down at me with a pleased smirk. “You are by far the most miraculous woman I’ve ever met.” Eagerly, he leans down and smashes his lips to mine. My fingers comb through the back of his hair and grip the edges in a fist. He growls against my lips and it only drives me crazier. Will, it ever subside, the wanting him?

The metal door to The Bronze squeezes and I instantly shove Spike off of me with a scream. He stumbles back, still in a daze from our kiss. “Help!” I scream, “someone helps me, please!” I pretend to be distraught and soon Buffy is by my side, ushering me behind her safely.

“I’m not going to let you take her!” She yells at Spike bitterly.

“Well that’s really up to her, isn’t it?” Spike mocks with a cheeky grin on his lips.

“She’s human, Spike! She doesn’t know what you are,” she argues, acting as the big-bad defender of man.

“What is he?” I squeak, sounding all poor pitiful. Honestly, it’s kind of annoying playing the victim. I sound like such a cry baby. Plus, if I were human, I definitely wouldn’t follow a strange man into an empty alley. I’d be asking to get murdered. No, I just talk to them in empty cemeteries in the middle of the night.

Buffy turns to me urgently, doing everything she can to keep me safe, how sweet. She grips both of my forearms, leading me away from spike. “Look, Spike isn’t a good guy, okay? He’ll hurt you or worse! You need to run!” She urges, gesturing down the alley to the road.

“But-” I stutter, glancing at Spike. Then, in one swift motion, I yank my arms free of Buffy’s hold and leg sweep her. She falls to the pavement with a smack. I tower over her with a giggle. “You know, grabbing people without their permission isn’t nice. Where are your manners?”

Spike jogs over and pulls me into his chest. I rest my arms over him around my waist and he places his chin on my shoulder with a cheeky grin. “Beautifully done, My Love.”

Buffy pants, staring up at us in confusion, “what the-”

“Surprise! Didn’t see that one coming, did you?” I laugh wickedly, steadily approaching her like a snake going in for the kill.

______________________________________

Masterlist 

Tags: @currently-obsesed-with-spike​

[angelinasway]

Regaining Hope

Chapter Six

Pairing: Clark Kent/Buffy Summers

Warnings/Triggers:Torture, Violence, Mention's of Major Character Death, Bad Language, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut

Summary: Takes place during Man of Steel. When Buffy discovers the U.S Military trying to keep quiet about an object buried in a twenty thousand year old glacier, she immediately thinks the worst. However, when a surprise visit to the Canadian Arctic puts her in the path of a mysterious stranger her whole world is changed forever.

Previous Chapters: [Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five]

[TTH] [AO3] [FFN]

Authors Notes:Thank you all for you're amazing reviews. I never get tired of reading them. I just got to say I adored writing this chapter. It was so much fun and I loved the banter. I'm slowly falling in love with this couple the more I explore it. I should warn everyone that there's a subject that comes up that might offend some of you. I did not write this part to try to do that to anyone, so please don't take it seriously. It was more about showing Buffy's age and what some of us begin to contemplate as we get older. If Buffy was really only twenty-one it wouldn't be a topic that would come up, but I don't think its to far off the mark that a thirty-two year old Buffy would think these thing. Once again, a shout out and huge thanks to my amazing beta Hipkarma for being so insightful and just plain helpful while editing these chapters. I don't know what I would do without her.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable  characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.  The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The  author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers  of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Six

Buffy awoke, as always right around eight. It didn’t matter where she was in the world, she always woke up around the same time every morning. Except, this morning happened to be very different because a large warm arm was wrapped firmly around her waist and a large thigh was wedged between her legs. She blinked in surprise as the night before came rushing back in surround sound and technicolor. From the moment Faith and Gunn woke them up having obnoxiously loud sex to when she first heard Clark moan. The deep baritone of the sound sending such a shock wave of lust straight to her core, she’d never felt anything like it and she was certain she couldn’t have stopped herself from touching him after that even if she tried.

God, he was built like brick wall. A very soft and warm brick wall, but a brick wall nonetheless. Training him was going to be difficult for that reason. She was incredibly strong but he was a hell of a lot stronger than her. Getting hit by him at full strength wasn’t really going to be an option. Though, she could always train him in her suit, which might actually give her a little bit of advantage against anything he threw at her. The suit itself was highly warded, to the point where she could probably get hit by a train and be able to walk it off. So that might actually be able to work, as long as he didn’t go for her head which unfortunately the full leather and Kevlar body suit did not cover. They could definitely work around that though.

 She bit her lip, remembering how good it felt to kiss him. It had been awkward at first, but he was an incredibly fast learner and eventually began to take the lead. Heat pooled in her belly at what came after though, the grinding and rubbing that ended in one of the best orgasms she ever had. He really was such a well-built man, everything about him was deceptively large from his broad shoulders to his thighs that were almost as big as tree trunks. Something she didn’t actually notice until she straddled him. The act itself had forced her legs farther apart than she was expecting. So, when he’d pulled her into his lap his cock was suddenly perfectly aligned against her clit, and boy did he feel big. Almost too big if she was being honest.

 The familiar throb of arousal hit her; her panties suddenly soaked. She vaguely remembered telling him after he got out of the shower that he looked ridiculous squashed up on her couch and to just share the bed. She was now slightly regretting that, because at this moment she wanted nothing more than to press herself back against the body currently cuddling her and grind her ass against the erection she felt poking her. ‘Yep, it was definitely time to get up.’

 She meant what she’d said earlier about not being ready for sex yet and she really did plan to stick to that. She wanted to get to know him first, find out what his likes and dislikes were, what his favorite movies were, hell even what his favorite color was. She truly did believe what Lorne had told her, but she craved the getting-to-know-you portion of the relationship process more than anything. It had been a long time since she had that. In fact, if she was being honest, she was pretty sure she never really had it.

 Angel had always hated talking about himself and she remembered very clearly spending a few hours researching him alone just to try and understand more about him. Unfortunately, back then Giles only had his pre-soul history, which probably should have been her first clue that embarking on any type of relationship with him was a bad idea. Riley had been different however, but when they started the relationship, they had both been keeping secrets. So, there had been big honesty issues there. Spike she hadn’t bothered getting to know, at least not before his soul. Oh, there were plenty of times she would slip up and ask him a question about himself, and even be cordial to him, but the personal stuff hadn’t come until those long nights spent together planning against The First. And, then again, after Angelus had killed Giles when she was basically a walking zombie. He would talk to her for hours even if she didn’t talk back just to try and snap her out of her desolation. He told her all about his life when he was human, and would even talk about some of the places he traveled with Dru. He never mentioned Angelus in those times, and she was grateful for that.

 It was in those moments that she realized why she and Spike meshed so well. He was very good at taking care of broken things and she was a very broken thing. He was created for it actually, and he needed to take care of her just as badly as she needed to be taken care of. She just hoped Clark could handle the task as well, because she had picked up a lot of the pieces of her shattered heart and soul and begun to paste them back together, but there were still several missing parts of herself that she had lost along the way. She was working on it and had been for awhile but she still had her moments of utter despair and moodiness. Buffy knew better than anyone how difficult she could be.

 She slowly tried to extract herself from his hold, but the arm that held her in place tightened. She heard a sleepy moan next to ear and then she felt his body stiffen as he came awake. Clark quickly removed his arm from around her waist and the knee that had wedged itself between her thighs and turned over on his back.

 “Sorry,” He murmured groggily.

 Buffy turned to face him, a slow smile spreading across her face as she propped her head up with her hand. He was blushing again and she found she rather enjoyed it. “I think we’re past accidental sleepy cuddling, don’t you?”

 A sleepy half smile crossed his lips at her words, "Mmm," he hummed. "So, that really did happen."

 She chuckled; he was absolutely adorable. "Unless we were sharing the same dream, I'm gonna go with a big uh-huh."

 His blue eyes met hers, and his smile stretched into a full grin. His hand reached up and he ran the back of it down her cheek.

 "Are you hungry?" He asked.

 She nodded. "I could definitely eat."

 He sighed. "We should probably get dressed then." 

 "Mmm," She agreed, rolling on her back and stretching her arms above her head. "Shower first though, and I should probably grab your clothes from yesterday out of the dryer."

 His hand reached out again, running it along the flat of her stomach. "You shower, I remember where the laundry room is. I'll get them."

 He sat up and then leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped him. "I have morning breath. I really don't think you want to do that before I brush my teeth."

 He chuckled and shook his head. "I honestly don't think I care," and then he was on her, his lips sliding against hers.

 She giggled, breaking the kiss and saying, "I think I created a monster."

 "Well, maybe you shouldn't have taken advantage of me last night." Clark said, a smirk forming on his lips.

 Buffy’s mouth dropped open, her eyes widening. "I did no such thing!" She said on a laugh.

 "Oh," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I think you did," and then he was kissing her again, sliding his tongue into her mouth before she could protest.

 The kisses suddenly turned much more serious and before she knew what she was doing her legs had wrapped around his waist and her arms were around his neck. She felt his hard length push against her and she moaned.

 "Mmm," He hummed, breaking the kiss. "I could get used to that sound."

His lips slid along her jawline, until he reached her neck where he placed a few wet kisses and then froze. He pulled away and Buffy’s eyes shot open. His eyes staring at her neck in a mixture horror and disbelief. 

 "Where...how did you get that?" He asked, his hand coming up to brush his thumb across her scar.

 Buffy's own hand came up and rubbed the area. "Vampire bite. Well, three to be exact." She saw a pained look flash across his eyes as his hand came up to cup her cheek. "What is it?" She asked.

 Clark shook his head, removing his hand and sitting back. "I just..." He sighed. "I can't help thinking how different your life might have been had I met you sooner." He looked away. “You’ve been through so much, some of it I read and some of it you told me.” He met her eyes, sadness and guilt shining in them, “And I’m guessing that’s only the half of it…and…and I can’t help thinking that I could have saved you from it all.”

 She felt her heart melt a little at his words. That was definitely up there with at least the top five sweetest things anyone ever said to her, but he shouldn’t be beating himself up for something that was out of his hands.

 She sighed sitting up, her hand reaching for his and entwining their fingers, bringing it into her lap. “As sweet as the sentiment is Clark, you can’t think like that.” She nodded, “Trust me, I’m the queen of blaming myself for things that are absolutely out of my control and the truth is, neither of us can know what would have happened had we met sooner.” She shrugged “I mean think about it. Sure, my life would have been easier but when the big stuff came up, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it as well, and do you honestly think I wouldn’t have jumped for Dawn?” She swallowed, “As shitty as the outcome was and even if I knew back then what I know now, I would do it again for her in a heartbeat.”

 “I know,” he whispered, looking down. “I just…what if I could have stopped you from having to jump at all?”

 She reached her free hand out, cupping his cheek, “Then I wouldn’t be who I am today. I would have never had the choice to take more power than I already had and have the strength and wherewithal to turn it down. I would have never found the Scythe and been able to use its power to activate the Slayers.” At Clark’s frown, she pulled away, getting off the bed and opened the closet. She unzipped her weapons bag and pulled out the Scythe.

 “This,” she said, showing him the weapon from when they first met. “It was made thousands of years ago by something called the Guardians. It was made for the first Slayer and she used it to drive the last Old One from this plain of existence. Then it was hidden until the day I found it. It’s the whole reason Willow was able to tap into the Slayer line and activate the girls. It’s incredibly powerful, and I can feel the power thrumming underneath my hand as we speak.” She put the Scythe back and walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Kinda like you.”

 Clark swallowed. “What…what do I feel like?”

 “Powerful, almost overwhelmingly so,” she said honestly, sitting back on the bed. “But not evil or demonic. Those kinda things usually feel cold, like the temperature suddenly drops and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.” She gave him a small smile, “You feel warm, like I’ve been sunbathing for hours and my skin is that perfect mixture of overheated and sun kissed.”

 He brought his hand up, cupping her chin and rubbing his thumb along her lower lip. "And when I kiss you?"

 Buffy gasped, heat building in her belly. It took everything in her not to suck his thumb into her mouth. "If I answer that," she said breathily, "we won't ever make it to breakfast."

 He blew out a breath, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against hers. "I've never felt so out of control in my life." He opened his eyes, meeting hers. "You...you make me want to lose control."

 "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" She asked, her hand coming up to rub down his chest.

 "I honestly don't know," he sighed. "But it scares the hell out of me."

 "I'm sorry," she whispered.

 He kissed her then, his hand running into her hair before saying, "Don't be. I feel more alive than I have in years."

 "I think that makes two of us then." She said softly. "You're not the only one who feels out of control or alive." She paused, "And I think if I don't get in the shower soon, I don't think I can be held responsible for my next actions."

 He chuckled, pulling away. "Then you should probably take a shower," he said moving off the bed, "because I'm pretty sure you aren't alone in that either."

 Buffy laughed, "You sure you can find the laundry room, okay?"

 "I got it," he said, reaching out to stroke her cheek before grabbing his discarded sweats from last night, chucking them on and heading for the door.

 Buffy watched him go and then shook herself out of her daze. God, he had a fabulous back. Why had she not noticed it before? This was going to be incredibly hard if they were both feeling this way. She once again opened her closet grabbing what she needed for the day.

 ****<S>**<S>****

Clark raised an eyebrow, looking at her in amusement, "You really think this is a good idea?"

 She grinned, "No, but it’s cheap entertainment and they deserve it."

 They were standing in the hallway outside Faith and Gunn’s room. Buffy having the bright idea of getting back at the couple for their shenanigan’s the night before, because as she said, “This was a long time coming.”

 "Alright," he said chuckling. "Then hand me the bucket."

 "What...why?" She asked confused.

 Clark rolled his eyes, "Because I'm going to make the water colder."

 Buffy frowned. "Is this another ability you've yet to tell me about?"

 He looked at her innocently. “Maybe?”

 The look she gave him was both parts annoyed and pouty. “Okay Mr. Secret Keeper, who keeps secrets. Here,” she grumbled, shoving the quarter filled bucket into his arms.

 “I think you’ve been watching too much Harry Potter,” he said as seriously as he could, even though he knew it was obvious he was trying not to laugh.

She looked almost offended for a moment, “I have not!” A full-fledged pout finally broke out on her lips, “At least not willingly. Willow makes me watch it every year.” She sighed, “Then we get into an argument about if the Wizarding World is real or not in another dimension. It’s a thing.”

 He snorted, "You're joking."

 She rolled her eyes, "I wish," and then she shook her head. "Now hurry up, before they wake up."

 He grinned, blowing softly into the bucket and handing it back. "There, it should be cold enough now."

 She frowned at the water, reaching her hand into the bucket and touching it. Her eyes widened in surprise. 

 "Wow! That's like seriously impressive." She grinned, "This is gonna be so good." Buffy looked at him, "You ready?"

 At Clark’s nod, she said, "Alright, get ready to run." 

 He watched her take a step back and then her leg shot out, slamming into the door. The lock splintered and the door swung open, hitting the wall hard. Both Faith and Gunn shot up in alarm, suddenly alert and ready to fight.

 “Wakey, wakey!” Buffy yelled, before tossing the contents of the bucket on them.

 They both screamed when the ice water hit them. Their eyes widening in disbelief. Faith panted from the sudden shock of the water, looking at hers soaked tank top, her bed, and then Gunn before her eyes suddenly swung up to meet Buffy’s dancing ones. The look she gave them both could freeze over hell, it even managed to make Clark nervous enough to start backing up.

 “You. Are. So. Fucking. Dead!” She ground out, fury flashing in her eyes.

 “Run!” Buffy squealed, already pushing him down the hallway just as Faith shot out of bed. They were both through the living area and out the staff door in seconds, but Faith was fast and she was hot on their heels. The sound of her bare feet slapping against hardwood close behind them.

 As they approached the stairwell a giggling Buffy yelled, “Jump, no time for stairs.”

 Clark quickly launched himself over the banister, landing on the ground floor and turning just in time to see Buffy do the same. She landed on her feet and looked up in time to see a snarling Faith staring down at them, water still dripping from her hair and tank top.

 “You’re dead B!” She yelled.

 “What the hell!” Lisa said, coming around the corner a few of the girls hot on her heels just as Faith launched herself off the banister.

 Buffy was pushing Clark again and they slammed out the front door and into the cool morning air. He wrapped his arms around her just as Faith reached the door in only a tank top and boxers and shot them into the air just before she could reach them. Both of them broke into fits of hysterics when they heard her scream, “He can fucking fly!”

 “Wow,” Buffy said in between her giggles. “She’s really mad, isn’t she?”

 ****<S>**<S>****

 “Okay,” Buffy said, snagging a piece of bacon off his plate. “Favorite comedy?”

 They were in a restaurant not too far from the school. It was a very small establishment, but it was busy and the food smelt good. Buffy had recommended it to Clark, saying it was the best kept secret in Cleveland. It had taken them a little while to get a table, but now they were comfortably seated with two delicious looking breakfasts in front of them.

 They had been exchanging questions since they arrived at the restaurant. Simple things, from favorite colors, to places traveled, and now they were on to movies. Except Buffy had just stolen a piece of bacon off his plate without even asking, and it was done in such a way it almost felt domestic. Almost as if this was a completely normal occurrence and they had dined together hundreds of times.

 “Did you…did you just steal my bacon?” Clark said, raising an eyebrow.

 She blinked at him innocently, taking a bite of the salty goodness while holding back a smile, “Maybe.”

 He snorted, “Well, now I want a bite of your pancakes.”

 Buffy’s face broke into a grin, and she used her fork to cut him a piece of her strawberry and banana pancakes. Leaning over the table and holding out the bite to him, while using her other hand to protect the table from any syrup dripping.

 Clark leaned forward, wrapped his lips around the offered morsel and hummed as the sugary taste exploded on his tongue. He nodded, swallowing the bite before saying, “I should have gotten the pancakes.”    

 Buffy chuckled, cutting her own piece and taking a bite, her eyes rolling up at the homemade strawberry syrup. “I told you.” She said after swallowing. “This place has awesome pancakes for it being such a hole in the wall.”

 Clark cut into his eggs benedict and took a bite. “Mmm,” He hummed, pointing at his plate as he chewed and swallowed. “But this is very good too.”

 "What do you like better?" She asked.

 "Hmm," he said thinking. "Well, it’s not a very fair comparison. One’s sweet and one’s savory."

 "True," she acknowledged. "So, I guess the question should be, what do prefer sweet or salty?"

 He licked his lips. "That's actually a tough question. My mom is an excellent cook on both fronts, but I think if I had to choose it would be sweet. I love pie and she does make the best."

 She smiled softly, "She sounds pretty incredible."

 He nodded, "My parents couldn't have kids so them finding me was what she calls a miracle." He smiled, "When I was a kid and my abilities first started showing, she was the one who helped me control it. She taught me how to focus and block everything else out."

 "I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about meeting her." She confessed shyly.

 He frowned in confusion, "Why?"

 Buffy shrugged, "Well, she raised you, didn’t she? Any woman capable of turning out a guy who so far has been one of the sweetest, most well-mannered men I’ve ever met, must have some superpowers of her own."

 He chuckled a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know that."

 Buffy grinned, shaking her head. "Anyway, back to our original topic. What's your favorite comedy?"

 "Hmm," He thought for a moment. "Well right now, I think it’s a toss-up between Talladega Nights and Step Brothers." He said, taking another bite of his breakfast.

 "Ah," she acknowledged. "A Ferrell fan. He is hilarious, but I myself would have to go with Sandler or Kevin Smith. I love Dogma and Fifty First Dates is probably my favorite romantic comedy."

 He shook his head, "I've never seen Dogma. Isn't that the one that makes fun of religion?"

 Buffy's mouth dropped open, "You've never seen it! Okay that's the first movie we are watching together,” Her cheeks suddenly pinkening as she cleared her throat and added. “And yes, it does make fun of religion but in a really unique way where it sends a good message too.” She shrugged, “I think I like it because of how well it rips the Bible apart as far as hypocrisy goes. I’m not very religious, but I mean I do believe there’s something. I don’t know if it’s all the Powers or God or what really, but there is definitely something beyond all this. However, the Bible is one of those things that gets used for evil, far more than it’s used for good. Plus, I’m living proof that some of the sins mentioned in the Bible are complete bullshit.”

 He raised an eyebrow, “Because you went to heaven.”

 She nodded, “Exactly. Let’s see,” she began to count off her sins on one hand. “Lying, I did a lot of that after I was called, also definitely did not honor my mother and father, I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain on several occasions, I’ve stolen when I’ve had to, not for myself but for slaying.” She put her hand down. “Not to mention,” She whispered quietly. “I may have killed a few people who were after my sister back then, not intentionally of course but I’m pretty sure I killed at least one of them and I’m almost positive they were very human.” At Clark’s surprised frown she explained, “There were these, god I don’t even know a better way of describing it other than medieval knights charged with destroying the Key, and when we all tried to run, they attacked us.”

 “But wouldn’t that be considered self-defense?” He asked with a frown and then added, “And maybe you were allowed to go to heaven because of what you are?”

 Buffy snorted, “And how unfair is that. I get to go to heaven with the same kinda vague belief system as other people who live their lives with less red on their ledger than I have, but they don’t.” She shook her head. “It’s also kinda bullshit how no sin is greater than any other, or in Catholicism’s case it only applies to anyone in the church. I mean come on, I’ve heard of the Catholic church in particular, refusing to hold a funeral or allow burial over suicide, and yet they protect their pedophile priests like they are somehow above it all.” She sighed, a blush forming on her cheeks at her diatribe. “Sorry, I have many feelings about this particular subject.” She looked down, “I think that most religions have it wrong. It’s about our intents and choices, if we spend our lives at least trying to do good, no matter if we fall along the way or not, we have a place in heaven. If we however let the darkness that is always around us, whether we know it’s there or not, consume us, then we let ourselves be corrupted. If we begin to enjoy the pain and suffering, we as humans are quite capable of causing all on our own, I think that’s when we become hell bound.” She took a drink of her juice, meeting his eyes again, before adding. “I’m sorry if you’re religious and I offended you. I sometimes forget that not everyone thinks the same way I do.”

 He smiled softly. She was really cute when she was passionate about something. He couldn’t really help playing devil’s advocate to watch that spark in her eyes as she got indignant over the topic of religion, but it had gone on long enough. He was trying to enjoy this moment, not offend her.

 “I’m not,” He clarified. “I honestly don’t know what I believe. My dad and mom had me baptized as Presbyterian, but I think my dad might have stopped believing after they found me. My mom probably did too, but she would never admit it.”

 Buffy frowned, “Then why–”

 “Because I’m an alien Buffy,” He shook his head. “Neither of them knew where I was from or what I was. I looked human, but they both knew I wasn’t.” He shrugged, “I think they did it to teach me right from wrong the only way they really understood how. The same way their parents taught them.” He shook his head, “It wasn’t only that though, my dad used stories, his own life stories to drill into me how important it was that I always made the better choice, because for someone like me, losing my temper isn’t really an option if it’s going to hurt someone.” He sighed, “As for religion, I used to wonder why God would make me this way until my dad told me the truth. It’s very hard for me to worship a god that had no hand in my creation. In fact, I stopped going to church because I just felt like an imposter.”

 Her eyes softened at his words and she reached her hand across the table and entwined their fingers. “You aren’t an imposter, Clark. I may not be religious, but I absolutely believe in destiny and the prophecy proves you were meant to be here. That somewhere in the ether the Powers or whoever, saw your soul and found it important enough to send a vision to some unsuspecting seer here on Earth.” She smiled, “No matter what happens, don’t ever feel you don’t belong here.”

 “Yeah, for what purpose still remains to be seen.” He said, frowning slightly.

 Buffy frowned, “I thought your dad said–”

 Clark shook his head, “I’m not talking about why my parents sent me here, I’m talking about the prophecy.”

 Understanding suddenly came into her eyes and she sighed, “I’ll try to work on Wes for you, okay? I know it’s frustrating but I don’t think he’s keeping it from us because he’s trying to be malicious or hoard information.” She nodded, “I do believe he’s genuinely trying to protect us, but I’m also not stupid enough to believe that’s the only reason.”

 He looked at her surprised by her admission as he watched her take a bite of her pancakes. “What…what do you mean?”

 Buffy swallowed and licked the syrup off her lips, using her napkin to dab up the excess. “Honestly, I think they’re trying to protect me from myself. Willow said it herself that day in the ship. There’re some things in it that would seriously wig me. Lorne said we’re soulmates, and I believe him, but it’s more than soulmates and I think you feel it too.” She raised her eyebrow at him. “If the prophecy say’s that we are destined in some way and they told me, there’s a very good chance we would not be sitting here right now because I would constantly be second guessing my feelings. At least that’s what they probably think.”

 Clark studied her. She really was impressive, he found himself admiring her the more they got to know each other. “You already knew though, didn’t you?”

 “I guessed it might be that in the ship, when Willow said what she said. Earlier that day when you were in my trailer and you left your poem.” Buffy smirked, “Clever by the way.” She said, looking at him appraisingly, before adding, “When you passed me, I felt something I’ve never felt before, it was like I was on fire. It was so powerful that even Hardy noticed my reaction and I was definitely not trying to draw attention to you.”

 “Oh yes,” Clark acknowledged. “I remember over hearing that conversation.” He smirked at her, “What was it that you called me? Oh yeah, a well-built redneck with puppy eyes.” Watching her cheeks bloom with color was completely worth bringing it up.

  “In my defense,” she said, embarrassment shining in her eyes. “I was trying to get him off your back.” Then she frowned in realization, “Seriously, you can hear that far?”

 “I can hear anything on earth if I focus,” He admitted, her eyes widening in surprise. “When I was a kid and it first happened, it was like hearing everything at once. I thought I was going crazy.”

 Her eyes softened. “That must have been horrible.”

 “It was, and scary. I remember how scared I was.” He met her eyes as he thought about her admitting she already suspected that the prophecy said they were destined. “Can I ask you something?” At her nod, he continued, “Last night you said you usually fight things like this and even your friends thought you would freak-out. Why aren’t you fighting it?”

 Her eyes dulled somewhat at the question and she pushed the few remaining bites she had around with her fork. “Honestly,” She paused, looking down at her food. “Honestly, I’m lonely.” She admitted. “I haven’t had this type of connection in years and it feels good.” She met his eyes then a blush staining her cheeks, “I thought about it and decided if the Powers are gonna give me something as beautiful as you after all the crap I’ve been through, then I was okay with that. Even this, just us talking and getting to know each other is more than I’ve had as far as romance goes in…I don’t even know how long. I had no idea how much I needed this kind of thing until I met you.”

 Heat filled his cheeks at her words and their eyes remained locked on each other’s for what felt like a long time. Clark reached his hand across the table and placed it on hers.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've never felt like anything like this before." He sighed, "I had no idea something as simple as eating breakfast with a beautiful woman, who I don't have to hide from, could feel so good."

 Buffy smiled softly, "We are a pair, aren't we?"

 He chuckled, and nodded. "That we are."

 Buffy’s cell phone rang the next second, her eyes glancing at the caller ID and widening in horror. "Shit," she hissed.

 "What... what is it?" Clark asked in alarm.

 "It's Dawn." She responded, staring at the phone.

 He raised an eyebrow, "And that's a bad thing?"

 "If Faith called her and mentioned you, yeah it could be bad." She answered, not taking her eyes off the phone.

 "You don't think Faith would tell her what I am do you." Clark said, worry lacing his voice.

 Buffy shook her head, "No, she's not that stupid. But I could see her hinting that you are something other as revenge for this morning." She sighed, "Which would just put my sister in a panic."

 The phone luckily stopped ringing and Clark watched Buffy sigh in relief, only to have it melt away when her text message chime went off.

 He watched her look at the message as the color drained from her face. "Shit!" She said again.

 "What does it say?" He asked nervously.

 "She said that if I don't pick up the phone, she's gonna show up here, and that I have five minutes." Buffy looked at him nervously and sighed. "Sometimes I really wish we didn't show her how to use her keyness, because unfortunately she's not bluffing."

 She looked at him apologetically, "You're about to get the full of Dawn in rant mode, so prepare yourself."

 Buffy dialed the number and squeezed her eyes shut as the other line connected and it was answered after the first ring.

“Hello, my beautiful and wonderful sister who doesn’t even bother to let me know she’s back in the amazing U.S. of A.” The sarcasm in the voice alone told Clark that Buffy was about to be chewed out.

 “Dawn,” Buffy started, but was cut off immediately.

 “So, my dearest sister, Buffy…you mind telling me why my husband is about to send one of his crew members out to fix the door and rent a fan to dry the bed in Faith’s and Gunn’s room?” An extremely sarcastic female voice said over the phone. “Or better yet, who’s this new recruit you’re getting so chummy with…hmm? Also, why the hell didn’t you tell me you were back in the states and not call!”

 Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and Clark bit back his amusement, he had no siblings so this was somewhat fascinating for him. Buffy met his eyes and glared at the amusement dancing there. “Just you wait.” She mouthed, which made his nervousness skyrocket.

 “Sorry Dawn,” She sighed. “I should have called, but I had just gotten out of quarantine and Wes was real big on me getting in touch with the new recruit.”  

“Uh-uh, you don’t get to deflect like that, because Faith already told me. He felt more powerful than she has felt in long time, but she won’t tell me what he is.” There was a moment of pause before an exasperated tone came over the line. “So, what is he Buffy?”

 “It’s not what you–” she started, but Dawn cut her off.

 “If you tell me it’s not what I think I will show up there in the middle of Breakers Breakfast, I don’t care how busy it is, now spill!” Buffy’s little sister demanded.

 Buffy looked at him and swallowed, “Seriously, this is not the time nor place to start talking about this.”

 “He’s there, isn’t he?” Came her sister’s reply.

 Buffy’s eyes widened, before quickly blurting, “Have you talked to Wes?”

 Dawn paused, “Should I?”

 ‘Well, this was mostly his idea.” Buffy answered.

 “So, Wes is okay with you boinking another demon?” Her sister’s indignant tone came over the line.

 “First off,” Buffy growled, making Clark look around to see if anybody was listening. “I haven’t boinked anybody,” she said lowly. “Secondly, he’s not a demon, and third, when the hell did you turn into mom!”

 “Maybe when I became a mother.” Dawn said exasperated. “Now give him the phone so I can give him the usual sisterly threats so he can know exactly what kinda hell he’ll reap if he hurts you.”

 “Dawn,” Buffy warned.

 “Do you actually think I won’t show up there.” Her sister countered.

 Buffy’s eyes looked at him apologetically, and he saved her the humiliation of having to ask by holding out his hand. She sighed gratefully and handed him the phone.

 “Hello,” Clark greeted.

 “Now you listen here bub,” was the first thing she said. “I don’t really care what you are but if you do anything to hurt my sister, I will open a vein and send you to Quor’toth, do you understand?”

 Clark cleared his throat. “I have no intention–”

“Of course you don’t,” She interrupted. “They never do. Now put me back on with my sister.” He blinked in surprised and shrugged, handing her back the phone.

 “I think your threat was kinda lost on him, Dawn.” Buffy said in amusement, looking at a confused Clark. “I really don’t think he knows what Quor’toth is.”

 “Well maybe you should tell him,” Came the snarky reply over the line. “Anyway, you better give me a phone call when you can talk in private, after the kids, me and Xand’s sex life isn’t exactly popping. So, I wanna know everything.”

 A blush spread over Buffy’s cheeks, “There’s really nothing to tell Dawn.”

 “Liar,” Dawn countered.

 Buffy rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll call you in a few hours.”

 ****<S>**<S>****

 They had stopped by the school to grab the rest of Clark’s things before he went home. Buffy giving him an extra backpack she had lying around to store them in. Thankfully, both Gunn and Faith were out, so they didn’t have to deal with any unwanted confrontations.

 “What time does your flight get in tomorrow?” Clark asked, adjusting the strap on the backpack.

 “1000…I mean Ten in the morning.” She answered.

 “Do you want me to pick you up?” He asked.

 She smiled shyly, “Only if you want to, but there will be quite a lot to do before we can make it to Smallville.”

 “Such as?” He asked, stepping closer and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Not really knowing how to stop himself from touching her since he knew he wouldn’t see her again until tomorrow.

 “Well,” she said, stepping closer. “I’ve gotta open the safehouse and get you a keycard to get in.” She reached her hand up her fingers running along the seam of his outer shirt. “There will probably be some sort of contract as far as payment for helping us goes, that I’ll need to print out.”

 “Payment?” He asked, confused.

 Buffy nodded, “Of course, If you help us stop an apocalypse or go on a mission with a bunch of Slayers, you get paid. The amount however, depends on how serious a situation it is.” She looked at him softly, “You didn’t actually think we would ask you to do any of this without some sort of compensation, did you?”

 He looked away and shrugged. “I honestly didn’t think about it.”

 She smiled, “You really are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”

 When he met her eyes, she had moved even closer, but this time he wasn’t scared. His arms immediately wrapped around her and he lowered his head and brushed her lips softly, not taking it any farther than that. He leaned his head against hers and whispered. “I wish I didn’t have to go yet.”

 “Me too.” She admitted, “But it’s okay, we’ll see each other tomorrow.” Then her eyes brightened and she pulled away. “I almost forgot, I got you this.” She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a cellphone. “Here.”

 “That way, you can call me if you get bored.” She blushed.

 He grinned taking the phone from her hand. “Thank you. I definitely will,” and then he sighed as he put the phone in the backpack. “I definitely need to go, my mom’s probably already worried since I didn’t come home last night.”

 “Of course.” Buffy said, smiling sadly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 Clark leaned forward and they kissed one last time, before he stepped back and shot into the air, looking below at the girl who was slowly changing his world.

[dudebroreg]

In the isolation of this quarantine, I’m gonna resurrect THIS old ass argument. “Can Spike still rightfully end up with Buffy after his actions, and if he can’t, isn’t the same true for Angel?” and “Is Spuffy as meaningful as or even compare to Bangel?”. The following “conversation” is hypothetical and “person” represents most of the arguments I’ve seen people on the other side of this make. Person: I don’t see how anyone could possibly ship Buffy and Spike after the bathroom scene. Me: He didn’t have a soul when he did that. Once he does have a soul, the evil he did is no longer his fault unless he repeats the behavior, but their slow-burned bond and her eventual love for who he becomes in Chosen is real. It’s canon that she fell in love with him when their fingers locked before his death if you take Joss’s words as truth, and even if you don’t and need something to be solidified on the program to accept it as canon, interpreting what Buffy felt in those last moments as romantic love is no more or less provable than the “she was just saying it to make Spike feel better” take. It makes complete sense that Spike thought she was lying after all of his experiences, though. That’s part of his own tragedy. That angst is part of why we love them as a pairing. Person: Wow look at you making excuses for one of the worst things someone can possibly do. There’s no going back after that. Idc what the plot did to justify his actions, and it’s despicable to think that the show would still give them anything resembling a love story after that. Boo hoo about his little tragedy. Am I supposed to feel bad after what he tried to do to her? Me: Okay fine, I see your point. I don’t see how anyone could possibly ship Buffy and Angel after he went on a killing spree meant to emotionally torture her, targeted her friends and family, KILLED JENNY and not only got off on the pain it inflicted on Buffy’s father figure but set it up to be as devastating for Giles as humanly possible, and almost brought Hell on Earth which would have killed millions in global genocide all for his twisted amusement. I don’t see how anyone could feel bad about him having a sword driven through him and pulled into Acathla after what he tried to do to Buffy, to her loved ones, and to the entire fucking world. Oh also he tried to drive a sword into her face right before her badass comeback. Person: He didn’t have a soul when he did that. It’s not Angel’s fault what Angelus does. It’s not really him, but Bangel’s epic eternal love at first sight is real and will never die. Me: .... Person: ... It’s different because Spike is a little more human even when he doesn’t have a soul. Me: Does that mean he deserves less credit or more? :/ :/ Person: ANGEL AND ANGELUS IS DIFFERENT FROM SOULLESS SPIKE AND SPIKE. Me: Nah same lore same rules breh. Soulless Spike seems more human because William was a sentimental sap and hopeless romantic when he was sired and so Spike was a deranged version of that personality, but still a demon and still wired to do evil, no matter how deeply he feels for someone. Liam was a self-indulgent douche who lived primarily for his own satisfaction when he was sired and thus became Angelus. Like in life, Angelus in death gave into all of his wicked cravings but without guilt or remorse. Who Spike and Angel are without a soul fits who they were with a soul perfectly within the rules of Buffyverse vampirism. But Soulless Spike is still Soulless Spike, he is still supernaturally coded to be a monster, and his ensouled version deserves the same level of forgiveness or lack thereof as his grandsire. If you don’t think Buffy should be with someone who’s done unspeakable things regardless of the supernatural reason for it, fine, but that’s not what you’re saying. Me: The bathroom scene was hard to watch but an important turning point because he realized that in his chipped state he can’t be his fully monstrous self nor can he be a good man. His options were to get the chip removed and be William the Bloody again, or get his soul and attempt to be a good man. The decision he made was something Angelus would never do, which I could use to say Spike is just better, but really they’re just different people with different motives. Bangel and Spuffy present the same issues with the concept of being pardoned via soul and if either vampire is really “worthy” of her romantic affections, no matter how much you try to twist Buffy/Spike as the more unshippable pairing to suit your own preference on which character Buffy should have a future with.

Person: ARE YOU SAYING SEASON 6 SPUFFY WASN’T TOXIC?! Me: Nah it definitely was, but Spuffy fandom in large part really doesn’t want Buffy to end up with season 6 Spike. Many of us think their “relationship” when he was soulless was *entertaining* and added character depth, and that they had real moments of connection in the midst of the ugliness, but most of us recognize how unhealthy it was and that it was no recipe for happily-ever-after. Irl there would be no turning back but also irl people are not literal demons who can go and win a soul to make up for some missing piece of them, just as Angel’s situation would also not happen in our reality. Me: A lot of us DO want her to end up with fully actualized soul-having Spike as he was by the end of season 7, in season 5 of Angel, and post series. Bangel is the passionate all-consuming first love story, but they NEVER achieved the level of understanding and full realization of the other that Spuffy ultimately did. Probably in part because Buffy was a fuckin’ high school teenager when Bangel happened, but that’s vampire genre for ya. Me: The speech Spike gave Buffy in Touched is something Angel could NEVER deliver at any point we’ve seen them, because Angel never knew her the way Spike did, and Buffy’s conceptualization of Angel is super idealistic and passion-charged, lacking the full range of understanding she has of Spike, probably because, again, she was a fuckin’ high school teenager when Bangel happened. Me: If she loves both of them, which I believe she does and the creator of the verse believes she does, it would take years for Buffy and Angel to discover and know each other to the depths that Buffy and Spike already do. Never mind that Buffy and Angel changed - they didn’t even know each other THAT well when they were together. The more Angel the Series dives into the whole of Angel, the more clear that becomes, and Buffy wasn’t anywhere near her full growth when he left for LA. Why go back and rebuild Buffy’s first major relationship when Spike is right there, the feelings are developed enough to where if she said “I absolutely do love you and you were wrong for doubting it” it wouldn’t seem wild whatsoever, and the natural romantic endpoint of her journey has more substance there? Because you just like Bangel more? Cool! You do you, but Buffy/Angel is still in no way the morally superior tv couple. Me: Also, not to be a dick on that whole love-at-first-sight deal, but it’s canon that Angel loved her the moment he saw her, which is weird to me since the first time he saw her was watching her creepily from a distance when she was 15 years-old in a short skirt and literally sucking on a lollipop.  Okay so I’m just being a prick with that last part because that too is a byproduct of 90s TV and vampire genre. “Bangel or Spuffy” is mostly a “which type of fictional relationship do I vibe with?” based debate. Bangel is one of those epic earth-shattering-consuming-my-whole-being-at-first-kiss romances, and the people who love that kinda thing will be inclined to support them, and I do love Angel as a whole. What I will always fight, no matter how old this subject and these shows get, is this wack idea that there are problems within Spuffy that make it more unshippable than Bangel, or even more hilariously that Buffy “deserves” better than Spike and yet “deserves” Angel. 

Though, if you tell me you think she’s too good for both of them, you have a much stronger case there, but that doesn’t make me love Spuffy any less, nor would it make someone else stop loving Bangel.

[bobasheebaby]

100 Buffy Prompts

I had a lot of fun compiling this list. I was cracking up more than once and now I want to binge Buffy. If there is a show you want let me know because these seriously help me shut of my brain during this covid hell.

1 “NAME, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.” – Buffy Summers

2 “I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” – Buffy Summers

3 "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy Summers

4 “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know it’s gonna be just like this – hard, painful. But in the end, it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the one’s left standing.” – Buffy Summers

5 “I don’t handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I’ve had, huh?” – Xander Harris

6 "Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander Harris

7 “I’m leaning towards blind panic myself.” – Rupert Giles

8 “Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.” – Rupert Giles

9 "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain." – Spike

10 "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there...it's an overrated pleasure.” – Angel

11 "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" – Angel

12 "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?" Faith

13 "You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.” – Faith

14 "You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me.”- Glorificus

15 “I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m — or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.” — Buffy Summers

16 “Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” — Buffy Summers

17 “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.” — Buffy Summers

18 “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” “Me.” — Angelus & Buffy Summers

19 “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?” – Cordelia Chase

20 “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” – Cordelia Chase

21 “Gee, can you vague that up for me?” – Buffy Summers

22 “I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander Harris

23 “I don’t know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of this moment I officially don’t care.” – Xander Harris

24 “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” – Cordelia Chase

25 “I mock you with my monkey pants!” – Oz

26 “Funny how preparing looks an awful lot like sitting on your ass.” – Spike

27 “That’s fairly freaksome.” – Oz

28 “Do you have any tact at all?” – Giles

29 “I’ve known you for two minutes and I can’t stand you.” – Spike

30 “Great. Now I’m gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” – Cordelia Chase

31 “You didn’t happen to take a lot of drugs, did you?” – Willow

32 “I’ve seen honest faces…they usually come attached to liars.” – Willow

33 “Can I be blind, too?” – Xander

34 “Gee, I hope I’m not interrupting anything really depressing.” – Riley

35 “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.” – Anya

36 “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.” – Spike

37 “We’ve got to face it, we’ve changed. Well, not you—you’re still sadistic and self-centered.” – Giles

38 “Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.” – Giles

39 “Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?” – Xander

40 “Do you love me?” “What?” “Do you?” “I love you. I don't know if I trust you.” “Maybe you shouldn't do either.” “Maybe I'm the one who should decide!” — Angel & Buffy

41 “Six a.m.!" NAME cried. "I know that's a number on my clock, but I've never actually been awake to personally witness it!” — Xander

42 “Bored now.” — Vampire Willow

43 “We’ll go be heroes.” — Spike

44 “You have a plan?” “I am the plan.” — Giles & Buffy

45 "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together." — Buffy

46 "I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready." — Buffy

47 "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. NAME, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live, for me." — Buffy

48 "Make your choices. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

49 “Weird love’s better than no love.” — Buffy

50 “The who having wha with huh?” — Buffy

51 “Whatever you choose, you’ve got my support. Just think of me as… as your… You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.” – Xander

52 "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful." Angel

53 "To forgive is an act of compassion, NAME. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it." — Giles

54 "In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed." — Giles

55 "I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters." — Buffy

56 "I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you." — Buffy

57 "Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

58 "Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss Whedon

59 “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.” — Spike

60 “You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.” — Spike

61 “Is everyone here very stoned?” — Spike

62 “I feel safe with you.” [Chokes] “TAKE THAT BACK!” — Dawn & Spike

63 “I love you.” “Oh, my god.” “Hey, no. Look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, NAME. I'm drowning in you.” — Spike & Buffy

64 “Just... give me something. A crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday there's a chance” “NAME ... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” “Oh, wha-“ [screams, then shouts]  “What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody men/women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?” “Which question do you want me to answer first?” — Spike & Buffy

65 “You can't deny it. There's something between us.” “Loathing. Disgust.” — Spike & Buffy

66 “Could do without the laugh track, NAME.” “But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the NAME. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.” — Spike & Drusilla

67 “Damn right I’m impure! I’m as impure as the driven yellow snow.” — Spike

68 “I love you.” “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” — Spike & Buffy

69 “This with you, it’s wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” — Spike

70 “You always hurt the ones you love, pet.” — Spike

71 "When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are." — Buffy

72 "I’m just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." — Buffy

73 "I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." — Buffy

74 "Weird love's better than no love." — Buffy

75 “People don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream — what they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.” — Buffy

76 "Trust is for old marrieds, NAME. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." “Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." — Spike & Buffy

77 "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" — Angel

78 "I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" — Angel

79 "If I may suggest, ‘This time it's personal.’ I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic." —Oz

80 "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend NAME jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." — Oz

81 "NAME’s our friend...except I don't like him/her.” — Xander

82 "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex ... Help! Four times five is thirty ... five times six is thirty-two ... Naked girls. Naked women ... Naked NAME ... Oh, stop me!" — Xander

83 "Man, NAME! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta' get me a life!" — Xander

84 “NAME. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?” “As defending champion, you nervous?” — Cordelia & Buffy

85 "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." — Cordelia

86 “Oh please. Like shame is something to be proud of.” — Cordelia

87 “I’m going to give you some advice: get over it.” — Cordelia

88 “Oh, and you’re welcome.” — Cordelia

89 “I’m not a sniveling little cry-NAME. I’m the nastiest guy/girl in PLACE history. I take crap from no one.” — Cordelia

90 “I think it. I say it. It’s my way.” — Cordelia

91 "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night." — Willow

92 "I don't want danger. Big 'no’ to danger.” ��� Willow

93 "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it. I don't wanna' understand it. You have gross emotional problems. And things are not okay between us." — Willow

94 "NAME, I got so lost." "I found you. I will always find you." — Tara & Willow

95 "But you like him/her, and when you think about him/her, you get that good down-low tickle, right?" — Faith

96 "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." — Faith

97 "Just relax ... and take off your pants." — Faith

98 "I am, you know." “What?" “Yours." — Tara & Willow

99 "I don't have time for bondage fun." - Buffy

100 “It's fine, I don't need to be snuggled.” — Willow

[pomegranate-belle]

Fic or treat - Matt and Foggy during that one Halloween ep of Spiderman where people turn into the monsters they dress up as for the night (doctor strange helps sort everything out if I recall correctly)

I guess this is a recurring Halloween Thing (Buffy, Halloweentown, and now apparently Ultimate Spider-Man) and honestly I love it with all my heart and soul. So this got... Long. Also I just sidestepped the actual plot of the episode because Baron Mordo sucks eggs and I don’t care about him, lol

—

Foggy’s still adding the last touches to his costume and hasn’t put it on yet — that’s the only thing that saves him. But the second a blast of orange light radiates across the city, he knows something fucked-up freaky is going down.

“Oh jeez,” he mutters to himself, watching through the window as the energy continues to spread like ripples on a pond. “Matty, you might wanna go get your other Halloween costume.”

There’s a groan of pain from behind him. Foggy whirls around.

“Matt, what—”

But Matt doesn’t answer. Can’t answer, more like. He’s staggering around, hands clutched to his head. Foggy has no idea if it’s a direct effect of the freaky magic flooding the city or if whatever that magic is doing is overloading Matt’s supersenses, but either way he can’t just stand by and let his boyfriend suffer. He rushes over and wraps Matt in a hug — takes as much of Matt’s weight as he can, tries to cocoon him so his senses have time to settle or acclimate or whatever they need to do.

“I got you,” he murmurs nonsensically. “I got you, Matty, it’s ok, it’s gonna be ok, just breathe with me, buddy, just breathe—”

All Foggy’s reassurances are choked off when a clawed hand closes around his throat. He’s shoved backwards, into the wall, and Matt’s...

Matt’s gone.

In his place, the figure Foggy had been holding — that not a minute ago had been the love of his life — is otherworldly and terrifying. Its skin is cold to the touch, and flecks of gold freckle its face, creep down from its ears to the familiar arch of its cheekbones. It has Matt’s messy, dark hair but his eyes, still unseeing based on the way they don’t track, glow ice blue. It still wears the white tunic Matt had put on, but the cloth is clearly of finer quality. What was once a sparkly golden pipe-cleaner halo is now an aura of radiance so bright it makes Foggy’s eyes water. Oh yeah, and this thing’s got a pair of fuck-off enormous white wings instead of the tiny, goofy-looking faux-feather ones Matt had strapped on like a backpack not five minutes ago.

When it opens its mouth — Matt’s mouth — and speaks, the words are unintelligible and so powerful that Foggy instinctively stops trying to remove the hand from around his throat and claps his palms to his ears instead. He has an alarming thought — that he’s going to die here — and the very distant realization that Matt would be completely enraged about him giving up. But even if this... Angel. Thing. Even if it’s not Matt anymore, it was him. And Foggy has to believe the magic that changed him is going to be undone. There’s like a hundred fucking superheroes in Manhattan alone so like, it had god damn better be undone. And when it is, who knows if any injuries sustained will carry over? Foggy could never risk hurting Matt like that. He just couldn’t.

Jessica Jones does not have this problem.

Foggy learns that the second she comes bursting through the door of the apartment and discus-throws her unconscious vampire boyfriend right at Angel Matt’s unprotected back. Not that Foggy actually sees any of this — because, again, fuck-off big swan wings — but once he’s able to breathe again he’s also able to put the series of events together thanks to context clues. Flattened angel plus unconscious Hero of Harlem with an open, snoring mouth and especially pointy canines plus panting, disheveled Jess? The math’s not hard. He and Jess stare at each other in silence for a few seconds.

“You ok there, Nelson?” she asks at last, gruffly, before stepping forward to sling her enormous boyfriend into a fireman’s carry.

“Yeah? I’m good, I think. Mostly. Um...” Foggy points at the knocked out form of Luke draped over Jess’s shoulder. “How did you...?”

“Vulcan nerve pinch,” she says flatly, but doesn’t give Foggy the necessary space to determine if it’s a joke or not. “Now come on, you’re the one who knows every-fucking-body, who do we need to stomp to fix this?”

Good to know you saved me because you were concerned for my safety or something, Foggy thinks but is smart enough not to say.

“I don’t know who did it,” he admits, now that he has the time to think, “but that guy Strange who lives in the Village is supposed to be a wizard or something. Maybe it’s one of his baddies.”

Jess slams a fist into her open palm, murder in her eyes, then immediately has to break the pose to stop Luke from slumping onto the floor.

“Well he better fix it or I’m gonna kick his ass,” she insists, clearing her throat and straightening up again.

Foggy does not dignify this with an answer, and to further pretend he didn’t just witness Jess fumble Luke like a football he crouches down to check on Matt. He doesn’t seem to be unconscious, although at first it’s a little hard to tell based on the ethereal, retina-searing glow around his head. But upon inspection, the prone angel is in a pose Foggy knows well — Matt’s ‘I’m suffering and I refuse to move’ pose. Often adopted whilst sick or otherwise mildly inconvenienced, and never done while seriously injured. Which is good, Foggy supposes.

“Up and at ‘em, Matty,” he mutters, slowly and gently closing his hands around the angel’s and noting that Matt’s newly clawed nails are tipped in gold.

Matt gets to his feet without a fuss, just tilting his head to the side curiously. He sniffs. Once. Twice. Then flips their handhold so his fingers are circling Foggy’s wrists and pins him to the wall again. This time, though, instead of strangling him, he buries his nose in Foggy’s throat, sniffling at his pulse point like a weirdo.

“Hey! Murdock! Don’t make me come over there!” Jess snaps.

“It’s good, we’re good!” insists Foggy shrilly. “He’s um. He’s just. Sniffing me.”

“Fucking weirdo.”

But there’s no thud of Luke being used as a blunt weapon again, so at least she’s listening to him. After another ten uncomfortable seconds, Angel Matt pulls back. Slowly and gently, he lets go of Foggy’s wrists before combing the fingers of one clawed hand through Foggy’s hair. Then he smiles and speaks.

The expression, combined with the musical but incomprehensible words, is so beautiful that tears begin to streak down Foggy’s face. Angel Matt brushes them away with the side of his thumb.

Jess ruins the moment by groaning in frustration.

“Ok, we get it, gay love conquers all, can we get a move on before my boyfriend wakes up and tries to tear out my throat again?” she demands.

Which, to be fair to her, doesn’t sound like a great time. Matt’s wings flare angrily and he spits more crazy angel language at Jess that sounds like a threat, but Foggy is able to soothe him easily enough. After that, he tows Matt along by the hand like a particularly docile six-year-old and they set out without further incident.

—

The problem with having a huge city-wide curse fucking up everyone’s night is that getting a cab is impossible. On the bright side, Jess is one of the few people Foggy knows who actually owns a car. Then again, it’s usually hard enough fitting everyone inside that car without a potentially-murderous vampire and an angel with a fifteen foot wingspan to consider. They’re still trying to figure out the logistics when a horde of monsters descends upon them. Foggy counts two zombies — and there’s a frightening thought, are those guys contagious? — a werewolf, a ninja, and some kind of terrifying... Fish person. There’s lots of snarling, howling, and gnashing of teeth. Foggy really wishes he hadn’t been so preoccupied with Matt and had the foresight to grab his baseball bat on the way out the door.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got like, a tire iron in there or something?” he asks Jess as they’re backed up against her car.

“What do I look like, a mechanic? I’ve barely got gas in this piece of shit car.”

“Cool, great,” Foggy says, too strained to be as sarcastic as he wants since this is about as far from cool and great as it’s possible to get.

Then Matt squeezes his hand and lets go. Foggy scrambles to try and pull him back to safety, but his strides are long — too long for any normal human, like he’s gliding instead of walking. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing squarely between them and the monsters, and then he flares his wings wide enough to block them all from view. Foggy can still hear snarling, but he has to squeeze his eyes shut as the luminance around Matt ramps up about a thousand percent. There’s hissing, yelping, and the slap of feet on concrete, and the light turning the back of Foggy’s eyelids orange only fades after the sounds of retreat abate into silence.

“Holy shit, Murdock,” Jess mutters. “Maybe we oughta keep you like this.”

“Jones,” Foggy scolds. “Rude.”

He opens his eyes to find Matt now facing him as though waiting for something.

“What, Matty?”

“Fuck’s sake, Nelson,” says Jess, “he just saved our bacon — you gonna thank him or what?”

Matt continues to stare — for a certain value of stare, Foggy supposes — in his general direction expectantly.

“Um. Yes, thank you,” Foggy says, and probably because he’s gone completely insane, reaches up to pat Matt on the head. “You, um... Did good? Yes. Good job.”

Matt leans into the touch, beaming, and honest to god the expression is almost brighter than the glow of his halo. Jess makes a very rude gagging noise as she stuffs her still-snoring boyfriend into the trunk. Matt and his wings, even folded up, take up the whole back seat, so Foggy rides shotgun. With monsters of all shapes and sizes roaming the city streets, what would otherwise be a pretty boring car ride ends up feeling like a chase scene in Jurassic Park, but at last they make it. Foggy wasn’t a hundred percent on the address but Strange’s place is pretty hard to miss. It’s enormous and scary-looking and it’s got a big skylight in the shape of some round symbol that probably has magical significance.

There’s no answer when they knock on the door, except for a “doctor is out” sign that flickers into existence, along with a huge padlock — you know, just in case they weren’t getting the message. Foggy’s torn between being weirded out and being amused that the creepy mansion has a sense of humor.

“He’s not even home?!” Jess kicks the door, hard. “This is bullshit!”

She lets out a wordless, frustrated shout, and Luke startles awake. He’s on his feet almost immediately, eyes glowing blood red. Matt wraps his arms around Foggy from behind, casting huge shadows with his flared wings. But Luke? There’s no recognition of Jess there, except as food. None of the half-domesticated sentience Matt’s been showing, just snarling animal hunger. Luke’s such a chill, reasonable guy that the contrast is shocking and even if he hadn’t been held back Foggy wouldn’t have been able to do more than freeze in terror as Luke pinned Jess to the wall of Strange’s mansion and lunged for her throat. Jess, thankfully, is more of a fight instinct person than a freeze instinct one. Also she’s got superstrength. She catches Luke’s wrist and flips him like a pancake. Once he’s on the ground and winded, she really, genuinely does Vulcan nerve pinch him back to sleep, which is wild. Foggy had been leaning sixty-forty towards her being joking about that.

“Well,” he says awkwardly. “That was impressive.”

“Impressive? Impressive?!” Jess is laughing, but the sound is sharp and bitter. “It should’ve been me,” she growls, stomping back down to the sidewalk and kicking a stray soda can so hard it embeds itself in the wall of a building across the street. “Fuck. I hate seeing him like this. I’m already— half fucking feral, and he’s got that unbreakable skin. It should have been me! He’d probably just sit there calmly and let me try to bite him while he worked out how to fix everything, and all I can do is be a, a panicked fuck-up!”

“Jess!” Foggy scolds sharply, extricating himself from Matt’s arms to confront her. “You’re not a fuck-up. You kept Luke safe. You didn’t let him hurt anyone. You got us here. Look, if Strange isn’t home then maybe that means he’s out fixing this. That’s a good thing. You just need to take a deep breath. We‘ll rest here a little bit, then we’ll start driving back — dollars to donuts whatever big fight is probably going down right now is in, like, Times Square or something, because it literally always is with you super-people.”

Jess makes another frustrated noise that Foggy hopes isn’t going to end with him going through a wall, and then plops down on Dr. Strange’s porch. He settles in beside her, and Matt perches beside him. Luke’s still sprawled in front of them, snoring again. They wait quietly for a good ten minutes, and the tension fades from the air.

Foggy’s just about to suggest they get up and start heading back the way they came when there’s another blast of orange magic — this time running in reverse, moving in towards an epicenter instead of out from it. It washes through them with a disorienting whoosh and leaves behind two dazed boyfriends in simple, cobbled-together costumes.

Foggy’s never been so happy to see a lopsided pipe cleaner halo in his life. He kisses Matt full on the mouth. Matt kisses back eagerly but is also the first to pull away.

“Not that, not that I’m, um, complaining but... What was that for?” he asks, baffled but clearly amused. “And... Where are we?”

So then Foggy has to explain, while watching Jess rip the cheap plastic fangs out of Luke’s mouth and stomp on them repeatedly, exactly how the four of them ended up in front of Dr. Strange’s creepy magic mansion.

“So anyway,” he finishes lamely, “I guess somebody saved the day or something, but we didn’t do much.”

Matt shakes his head.

“You did wonderfully.” He takes a deep breath, the way he always does when he’s gathering himself to say something emotional. “I love you.”

“Love you too, angel,” Foggy says, and the flush of embarrassed pleasure that colors Matt’s cheeks in response is sweeter than any candy.

[littleangel4996]

Sangtuary (1/?)

Vampire!Michael X Half vampire!Reader and Vampire!Jeffrey X Half Vampire! Divine

Summary: (Y/n) and Divine gets a invite to a club "the sangtuary"

Warning: Drinking, drugs, Jeffrey flirting with Divine, (y/n) being a bitch (but that's only she's very protective and has a hate for vamps)

Y/n P.o.v

Being a vampire Hunter is not an easy job. Sarah Michelle Gellar made it look so easy in her Buffy the Vampire Slayer series but this is reality and It fucking blows. Tonight was one of the hardest jobs I had to do. There was this vampire who can disappear like Smoke from Mortal Kombat. Luckily I've attached holy water grenade to him and finally disappeared, good riddance.  Hopefully Liz can make me a Jack Coke after a long hard night. 

"Hey there missy" Iris stopped me and I turned around greeting her with a smile.

"Hey Iris, I would hug you but as you can see I'm full of vampire dirt" I pointed.

"I understand, Divine wanted me to tell you to meet her and the countess in her room. I guess there's something important they would like to discuss with you" Iris explained. I rolled my eyes. "Can it just wait" I groaned. Iris shook her head. I nodded in response. I guess that Jack Coke will have to wait. I enter the elevator pressing the button to go up to her flat. I wonder what's so important they wanted to talk to me about. Maybe Mother wanted me and Divine to hunt another vampire, a warlock, or a witch I don't know but I just hope it's nothing bad.

BING

The doors slide open as I exited out of the elevator and walking inside mother's nice room with Divine sitting on one of the couches and mother on her couch.

"Hello ladies" I greeted and Divine looked at me with wide cat eyes. "Oh my God, what happened to you" she gasped. My mother Elizabeth had the same look like Divine had but she was desperately holding her laughter.

"Transmutation Vampire that's what happened Dee Dee. And don't say you should have taken me with you because I learned that the hard way" I said to her after dropping the bag next to the couch and plopped down next to Divine. 

"So what's up, Mom" the countess took a deep breath and taking a sip of her bloody Martini. "Have you girls ever heard of the new club that just opened" she asked.

"The Sangtuary? `` she nodded. The Sangtuary is this night club that opened a week ago by some Brothers. " What about it" asked Divine.

" Because that's where you two are going. You both have been invited to their club". She pulls out the black velvet envelopes passing it to us and stands up walking to her room and brings out two beautiful dresses that were mine and my sister's taste but I wasn't liking this idea and I don't usually wear dresses that much. Actually not at all since my prom night. One was a black low shoulder with a choker and the other was a black lacy short dress. 

"Do I really have a choice because honestly I really don't feel like going out tonight except take a nice shower and watch episodes of the golden girls" I said to mom but she was still handing me the dress for me to pick. I rolled my eyes and took the one with the choker as she smiles at me and hands Divine the lacy dress. Before I leave mother said " Please take a shower before you go anywhere" and gave her a glare before storming out. Fuck my life.

🖤🖤🖤

I hate it. I hate it and one more time, I hate it. Why I say I hate well I hate the fact that our mom is sending Divine and I to some club that we don't know about, I hate that this dress that's very short and God damnit I hate this day. Divine was waiting for me in the lobby having her makeup and hair done with golden flower crown she wears with almost everything. Mines was simple eyeliner, mascara and dark red lipstick with my hair half up with curls. Plus thigh high boots I'm wearing. Divine looks like an angel lighting everybody's day and night. She takes one good look at me and says " You look tense. Loosen up. You need to have fun, we all need to have fun. When was the last time we ever went out?"

Honestly, the last time we ever went out when we were in our teens and when we grow into adulthood we never had fun except killing evil. But I know Divine hates just killing. As I was about to speak I heard a familiar cheerful voice. 

"Ahh, well you lovely ladies look very ravishing. Where are you two heading" Mr.March asked. 

"To the new club that opened up, The Sangtuary, we were invited by the owners" replied Divine. Mr.March nodded. "Well don't let me stop you from having fun, go on girls go raise hell" he piped up as Divine and I said our goodnites to Mr.March and headed out going to "raise hell".

🖤🖤🖤

Parking was a pain in the ass to find, luckily there was parking near abandoned warehouse. The line was packed. People groaning and complaining about standing in a line. Mother said to give the invite to the bouncer and will let us in. Why would the owners invite my sister and I?  The bouncer let us through as he took our invitation and told us to enjoy our night. When we got in, everything was red. The lights, the sofas, the dance floor too. The ladies sway their hips to the beat as the men grind their hips to their partner. Some were drinking, some were even doing coke or smoking weed. My prayers have been answered as I spotted a bar straight ahead pulling Divine along with me. I don't want her by herself, she may know how to fight but she has a heart of gold and has never been touched by any man. I like to keep it that way. The bartender was a bleached blonde and pale complexion wearing a purple Victorian suit.

" Hello ladies, I'm Mr Gallant and I'll be your bartender. What can I get ya"he said in his feminine voice. Great he's gay now I don't have to worry. " Yeah, I'll have a Jack Coke and a Gallagher please" I ordered and he went to go make our drinks. "This looks fun" Divine hollered over the beat.

"Don't lose your cool, sis. " I said and she rolled her eyes. " Come on, let's have fun for once " she left to the dance floor dancing to the music before I could stop her. Divine is Divine, but she's also pure of gold, never touched by men. And I would love to keep it that way. The bartender taps me on the shoulder passing our drinks. 

"On the house baby" he said with a smile. I gave him a confused look.

"From who?"

"The owners of this place" he points as I turned my head to see 2 blonde men standing from the balcony. One dressed in velvet and long hair and the other dressed in black and short hair. They both look similar. "Who are they, Mr Gallant?" 

"The Langdon twins, Michael and Jeffrey. They are super hot as hell which is why you two are the lucky ones because darling no one in this club never gotten a drink on the house." Are those the owners that invited us? But why would they? I turned to look back at the balcony to see the boys gone. I was about to ask where they were until Gallant had this smirk on his face staring where my sister was…but she wasn't alone at all. The short blonde haired man that was standing from the balcony was dancing with my sister having his arms around her and Divine swaying her hips to the beat. And what really triggered me most was he was grinding on Divine. Okay this fucker is dead.

Divine's P.O.V

"What's your name little tulip" the blonde man asked.

"Divine. Divine (l/n)" he spins me around as I looked into his ocean blue eyes.

" Jeffrey Langdon and you my dear look so Divine. Care to join me for a drink" he asked but before I could answer my sister comes to shove Jeffrey.

"She's not interested, ass" she hissed. I rolled my eyes at this nonsense. (Y/n) needs to realize I'm not a little girl. I'm a fucking full grown woman for fucks sake. I stood in front of her.

"He wasn't doing anything wrong" I protested

"Yet" she said. Before she could kill him on the dance floor a tall man same as Jeffery's height but...this man looked so much like Jeffrey except he had long blonde hair, red eye shadow and a red velvet jacket. I assume this is Jeffery's twin brother.

" Why don't we take this private shall we" he says into my sister's ear and made a disgusted face pushing him off . (Y/n) was about to say something snarky.

"He meant somewhere quiet. You know like backstage." Her only response was a grunt and the two Langdon gentleman lead us upstairs as we entered the elevator. Michael pressed a button that had the initials PH, which stands for penthouse. 

🖤🖤🖤

The elevator doors open to reveal a living room with a piano along a mini bar with a shelf of many alcoholic drinks. I was in awe to see a balcony that hid behind white sheer curtains. They even have a row of bookshelves, an upstairs that lead to a bedroom and another bedroom thats downstairs. I've never been so amazed by this place. But my sister on the other hand looked like she wanted to murder the brothers. But why would she want to murder them? For being generous or because Jeffrey was being a flirt?

"Please, make yourselves comfortable while I make you flowers a drink" Michael threw his red velvet dinner jacket on the leather couch and making his way to the mini bar making our drinks as we took a seat. 

"Remember what I said" (y/n) said in a Stern voice. "Keep your guard up and if anything happens, stake them" she puts the silver stake inside my purse. God I wish she would chill just for tonight. 

My mind was soon cut off by Jeffery playing the piano. The tune sounds so familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it. 

" Sweet dreams, if you were guessing, tulip" Jeffery said.

"It's one of my favorite piano versions. I used to play the violin when I was 12 and oh I've almost forgotten that (y/n) used to play the piano and a beautiful singer- Ow" my sister pinched my arm, like she didn't want me to give that information.

"Ah, a brave girl who hides special talents. I'm impressed." Michael gives us our drinks. It's a red liquid. It smells so good that I took a sip of it along with (y/n).  The taste is Rich, sweet and a little metallic. 

"It's blood" my sister says with daggers in her eyes looking at Michael.

"In the end, we're alone. And there is nothing but the cold, dark wasteland of eternity" Michael finished his quote and showing off his porcelain pear fangs. 

@barbie-solecism

@sodanova

@wvntersldr

@kylolangdon

@theghostoflangdon

@miskwaadesiwag

@whysosadbatman

@creative

@kaccatus

@burn-thevvitch

@captainskyline

@gracethegeek9902

@castiel-saved-me-from-myself

@amortentiaxo

@langdonsdemon

@poisedphantom

@dyns33

@hecohansen31

@myfavouritelunatic

@mytrash-mylife

@emmyrosee

@intelligentsunny

@7-wonders

Hey, sorry for the long delay I just wanted to say happy New year and I'm excited to get back on track 😁. Also thank you for being patient and thank you to the people who encourage me.

If anyone likes to be tagged in any of my writings let me know and feedback is much appreciated 👍😊

[kittenshift-17]

👀

Stupid, stupid Buffy!

“Where are we going?” Buffy wanted to know when Spike kept moving, his lack of requirement for oxygen letting him run and run and run.

“Hush up,” Spike growled, and he sounded annoyed. “Was drunk when I parked ‘er. Don’t wanna miss the scent leadin’ me back.”

Three blocks later, he swung into a dingy alley and Buffy wriggled when he hissed at something she couldn’t see. Footsteps followed and she watched from over his shoulder as a few winos ran for it.

“Put me down, Spike,” Buffy commanded.

Spike ignored her, slowing to a walk and beginning to dig into the pockets of his duster for something. The jingle of keys followed, and Buffy heard a car door unlocking before he shifted both hands to her body. One caught the back of her head, holding her so she was curled around him, and the other wrapped around her waist. She hissed when he bent forward and promptly overbalanced, falling into the back seat of his DeSoto with him on top of her.

“Fuck,” Spike grumbled, letting go of her head to swipe empty whiskey bottles off the seat. He shoved several onto the floor where they rattled against other empty bottles and tossed a collection of them over his shoulder, listening to them smash on the floor of the alley.

When he was done, he caught up her head again, hoisting her with him and he twisted their bodies until he was also inside the car. Buffy squeaked when he managed to plant his ass on the seat and dragged her down from his shoulder until she sat straddling him in the back seat.

“Really?” she asked dryly when he released his grip on her and slumped against the seat, looking tired.

“What?” he asked, frowning at her.

Buffy slid her weight across his lap, drawing his attention to the solid length of lead pipe filling up his jeans beneath her ass. She raised her eyebrows at him in challenge, wondering if maybe she’d had more to drink back at the bar than she’d thought when a pulse of desire tingled through her clit and spasmed outward through her limbs.

“Shut your gob,” Spike grumbled. “It’s been a while, and you’re so bloody hot to touch, ‘s hard not to.”

Even as he said so, however, his eyes weren’t on her face, but on a gash on her upper arm that was still oozing blood. Buffy actually heard his stomach rumble and she knew suddenly that she was in more danger here with him than she’d been back at the bar.

“Don’t even think about it,” Buffy warned him. “You haven’t fed in days. You’ll drain me.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Spike challenged, slipping into game-face, though it didn’t seem intentional. “ ‘S not like we’re friends. Bloody show Dru, it would…. Covered in you, my arse.”

“Spike,” Buffy warned, reaching for the stake tucked down the back of her skirt.

His eyes were drawn to her face when she clutched the stake threateningly, willing to stab it through his heart if he tried anything.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, eyeing the stake like the dangerous weapon it was. “Why’d you ‘ave to be here, eh? Supposed to be runnin’ from thoughts of you and Dru’s batshit accusations.”

“Huh?” Buffy frowned.

“ ‘S why she left me,” Spike admitted, his eyes darting between the point of her stake, her face, and the cut on her arm. He licked his lips, looking more tortured by the second. “Reckons I’ve walked in sunshine. Says I’m all covered in you. Says I taste like ash, and when she looks at me, all she can see is the Slayer.”

“Why?” Buffy frowned.

“Fucked if I know,” Spike said. “Hasn’t gotten over me ‘betraying the family’ by interrupting Captain Forehead’s plan to suck us all into a hell dimension and helpin’ you stop ‘em. Cuckoo, that one. Bloody hell, I…”

His hand shot up to grab her wrist, forcing the stake away from himself even as he leaned forward and licked the path of a rivulet of blood running down her other arm.

“Fuck,” Spike muttered while Buffy began to writhe, trying to bring the stake closer while he held her wrist hard enough to bruise it, licking at her blood before latching his mouth over the cut and sucking hard.

“Spike!” Buffy hissed, squirming when she could actually feel the blood being slurped out of her veins.

“Tastes so sweet,” Spike muttered, his tongue sliding over the cut when he paused, licking it closed before he leaned the other way, trailing his tongue over another trail of blood running down her staking arm.

“Spike, don’t,” Buffy protested when she used his free hand to press against the small of her back, forcing her body closer to his and grinding her against the erection he sported.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Forgot that Slayer blood’s an aphrodisiac. I haven’t had a woman in weeks… Christ, I want you, cutie.”

Buffy didn’t know what to do when her body and her brain responded to his harshly whispered words, and to the feel of so much hard flesh grinding against her clit. The hem of her short skirt was bunched around her hips thanks to the way she straddled him, and only the skimpy lace of her thong, and the denim of his jeans stood between them. She ought to be recoiling from him in horror because he was everything she hated about vampires, and she so violently disliked him.

But god, he’d come to her with the truce that had put a stop to the terror Angelus had unleashed within her. He’d done his part, upheld his end, and taken Drusilla out of the equation. Without his help, they’d have all been sucked into Acathla’s gaping maw. And he’d paid dearly for it. He was here in this city without his honey. She might’ve been a crazy ho bag, but Spike obviously loved Dru, and the skank was punishing him for helping Buffy save the world. He’d turned up drunk, half-starved because he was probably too heartbroken to eat, and no matter her bravado, she suspected he’d saved her life by getting her out of the club. Even his carrying her served it’s purpose of preventing her from leaving a scent trail if she’d walked by herself.

The Buffy from three months ago who’d punched him in the nose for calling her ‘cutie’ was as long gone as the cocky vamp he’d been back then. She could feel it in the roll of his hips beneath her, and in the grip of his hand on her waist. She could feel it in the veritable agony in his words as he admitted to wanting her – to having abstained from sex because he couldn’t have his cheating skank of a paramour. Maybe it was just because she’d been drinking, and maybe it was because she was so very lonely and he was a familiar face in a sea of blurred strangers, but god almighty, his words and his actions were making her want him, too.

He licked away the blood on every cut and every scrape he found, slurping down a mouthful or two each time before swiping them closed with a lick of his tongue until Buffy didn’t even want to stake him anymore. Pressure was building beneath her abdomen and maybe it was the alcohol and the adrenaline talking, but Buffy wanted to do very bad things with Spike. His hand on the small of her back was cold, but it encouraged her to roll her hips as he rocked his own beneath her.

“Gonna sink my fangs into your veins while I sink myself inside your hot pussy, pet,” he promised, leaning in and nuzzling her neck.

Buffy knew she should scramble away. She knew this was crazy. She knew she shouldn’t let him bite her, ever, and especially not when he hadn’t eaten in a week. She knew he might not be able to stop. Buffy put it down to her depression that there was a part of her that wanted to go out that way. What could be better? An orgasm ripping through her, sweetening her blood all the more. The Slayer dying on the fangs of a vampire. After all, she knew if she went out like that, Spike would never forget her. Hell, she’d join the list of Slayer names on his resume for Slaying Slayers.

And it wasn’t like she had anything else to lose. No family. No school. No Angel. Just her miserable life. And she just knew, on some level, that Spike would make it good. If tonight was the night she died, she knew that Spike would make it a good death; the very best death. And then she wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

Surrendering, Buffy tipped her head invitingly, giving him more room to nuzzle into her and closing her eyes at the sweet sensation of his lips and his tongue against her sensitive neck. She dropped her stake, listening to it clatter against the empty bottles on the floor of the car, and she shook Spike’s grip from her wrist, reaching to slide her fingers into his hair.

No longer needing to incapacitate her, his arm curled around her back, pulling her closer and holding her to him like he couldn’t get enough of her warmth. A sob caught in Buffy’s throat that the simple gesture made her feel cherished.

“Oh, god,” she breathed when he nipped her skin and lapped at her to lave the sting, not yet breaking the skin. “Do it, Spike.”

She closed her eyes, waiting for the bite, and she frowned when instead, the vampire pulled away from her. Blinking her eyes open, she was greeted by the sight of him in full game face, his eyes gleaming a feral yellow in the dark, his fangs extended, his forehead bumpy. He watched her intently and Buffy’s Slayer instincts told her to reach for the stake again. To incapacitate him. To stop him. To protect herself.

“You want it?” he asked her seriously. “Really?

Against her very nature, Buffy nodded, the guilt-ridden, pained part of her screaming out for the death he offered.

“Wait…” Buffy gasped when he moved like he might lunge in. “Kiss me, first.”

Spike’s game face melted away and Buffy drank in the handsome sight he made for a short moment before leaning in and capturing his lips with her own. She gave herself over to the kiss, rocking her hips harder, rolling herself against the solid length of steel inside his jeans, desperate for that thrill of being stretched open and claimed by a man who wanted her.

She melted into him when he kissed her hungrily, his lips parting, his tongue tracing her lower lip before sweeping into her mouth and tangling with her own. He tasted of whiskey and blood, but Buffy didn’t care. He tasted like drowning her memories in pleasure, too, and that was all she wanted right now. Fisting her hands in his hair, Buffy kissed him hard, her mouth exploring his and being explored in return. He clutched her to him desperately, bucking his hips beneath her, the tension between them raging like wildfire.

“Need you, pet,” Spike groaned when they broke apart, Buffy’s lungs screaming for oxygen. “Want all that heat to burn me alive.”

[escaping-thoughts-reviews]

“Captain Marvel” mistaking misandry for feminism

This is my personal opinion as a woman who saw the movie with an open mind and hoped to enjoy it... sadly that wasn’t the case. I’ve heard some of the controversies surronding it and the main actress, but I didn’t care because I hadn’t seen the movie yet and didn’t want to judge it based on that. Now I’ve seen it and here’s my personal opinion:

This is not a feminist movie.

The main protagonist, Carol Danvers is a bidimensional character with no personal growth (emotional or power related) and no emotions what-so-ever. Jude’s character keeps telling her to "control your emotions", but here’s the problem: SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANY!! She never emotes, just stares blankly or makes a condescending face ever once in a while.

The writing is bad, really bad: from the exposition dumps and lines that no person would say (”This is you when you were little. You didn’t get along with your parents. So Mom said we became your real family"... hadn't seen this type of lines since the “children of the corn” miniseriers *cringe*, at least that was enjoyably bad).

She's rude towards her comrades and people she doesn't know yet (Fury), especially the men, that are represented either as idiots or as sexists and who she belittles at every opportunity, even if they are doing their job (Fury asking justified questions). On the other hand, the other women aren't allowed to shine, even if they are better characters. Point in case: Maria Rambeau, single mother (Frank nowhere to be seen, because... queerbate, I guess), who makes me wish she had been Captain Marvel! She has character, PERSONALITY! She has empathy and real stakes (her daughter's and planet’s safety), why wasn't she chosen to be Captain Marvel?! Or better, the acutal first female Captain Marvel, Monica Rambeau. Maria’s daugther, now represented as a child who idolizes Carol and “wants to be just like her” (a Miss Marvel who’s comics never sold and that nobody liked). I’m sorry Monica, your character deserved so much better...

On that note even Maria’s character falls because when (according to the movie) Carol feels “lost”, Maria gives this speech that basically boils down to Carol=perfect. And I understand, sometimes, when you’re sad or depressed, you need to hear all the positive and amazing things that you are, but here it fails because C.M. never thinks that she not awesome. And after that Maria is relegated to half-sidekick with Fury, just so Carol can be her condescending self again.

So in the end every character in this movie exists solely to kiss Carol's ass.

Then in the climax, Ronan appears, you know, the big bad evil of GotG and even he is useless, and frankly I found it insulting that a ship that took thousands of lives to stop in an earlier installment was destroyed in minus 3 seconds just by C.M. flying by... way to take out all the gravity of those deaths (counting Groot) from Guardians of the Glalxy... (not to mention Lee Pace’s makeup... ugh, it didn’t even sound like him!).

Also a moment of silence for Jude’s character... thank you. Man, was he given the middle finger. The final showdown was suppost to be an important, emotional moment, where Carol has to face the man who saved her all those years ago, gived her his blood and acted as a mentor towards her. Sure, he was doing it for evil reason, but to her it was real, he was important, the only one she trusted and went to after a troubled dream... and what to we get? Carol, with the same emotionless face punching him with her powers to “stick it to the man” without batting an eye. Seriously?!

Take for example Thor realizing Loki’s betrayal at the end of the first movie, the emotions, the heartbreak he goes through because the brother he loves turned on him. Or Tony realizing the man he saw as a father figure wanted him dead and having to kill him to save the lives of innocent people. Or Steve finding out Bucky is alive, but has been turned into a murderer and feeling torn apart because he has to confront (and possibly kill) him. THIS is the right way to do it!

I'm not going to touch the whole Tesseract bs, because it's just dumb and opens up plot holes the size of Jupiter. Whatever...

Or Fury apparently knowing aliens exist since the ‘90, but being shocked in “Thor” after seeing the Destroyer, stating that “now they know they are not alone in the universe and are outgunned”. And later in Avengers, Black Widow saying S.H.I.E.L.D. (that wasn’t called that utill Iron Man) didn’t train them for an occurance such as an alien invasion... BUT IN THIS MOVIE they show us that they knew about other intelligent and advanced life forms. So bs on this one too. It’s lazy, sloppy writing and it shows.

Also, the Avengers are named after her? a character that didn't even exist in the MCU before this movie which is right before the big finale? Bull. F*****g. Shit! CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS THE FIRST AVENGER! It’s the f***ing title!

In the end Carol Danvers is (and I don't use this term lightly) a Mary-Sue.

p.s. B.Larson, STOP saying that you represent women and feminism because it's clear you don’t even know the meaning of the word. And the fact that now people think that what you are spewing is feminist it’s insultilting, because guess what: it's NOT!!! Talking s**t about men is NOT progressive and is NOT empowering. It’s misandry! That's it.

And Disney deleting reviews and videos that you don’t like just to make this dumbsterfire look better... It doesn’t. It makes it worst.

-

Here’s a list of actual feminist movies you can enjoy:

Star Wars (+ clone wars, rebels)

Mulan

Frozen

Mad Max: Fury Road

Wonder Woman

Alita Battle Angel

Alien

Terminator

Silence of the Lambs

Crimson Peak

Hunger Games

Princess Mononoke (and many other Ghibli movies)

Kill Bill

Hidden Figures

Fried Green Tomatoes

Other media with strong female characters:

Pride and Prejudice (book, tv series, movie)

Harry Potter (books, movies)

Once Upon a Time

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Legend of Korra

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Bones

Xena: Warrior Princess

Fullmetal Alchemist

Inu-yasha

Charmed

Please feel free to add to the list because having B.Larson stating that her character is the First™ is absolute bs and young women (and young men) need to know there are better and inclusive options, because at the end of the day that’s what feminism is about: inclusion and equality.

I only hope that all the money this movie made will lead to more movies with female protagonists that are actually good.

Rating: Crap/Forgettable

[rahirah]

via Barb's Place OK, guys, normally I try not to publish things which are this rough, but fuck it, it has been YEARS and I feel like I owe the six of you who are still hoping to read the rest of POM someday something. So here is the crappy first draft of Ch. 14, scene 1. (If you feel like leaving critical comments, please do. It needs savaging.) As Tara collapsed into Willow's arms, the silver cross, still straining at the end of its chain towards the stone, collapsed with her. Only a necklace again, and not the needle of Angel's moral compass. Buffy snatched it and held it tight, till her palms ached where the metal dug into the flesh. She could almost imagine the cross burning her hand, as if she were the vampire. Angel wouldn't, couldn't be doing the things Spike had described if he still had a soul. He might be infuriatingly high-handed sometimes, but he wasn't some kind of undead Don Corleone. Okay, fine, he'd basically put out a hit on Spike last year, and there'd been that whole episode with Resurrected Darla – she was certain she didn't know all the details there, and was even more certain she didn't want to – and that thing with the submarine, though Spike wasn't the world's most reliable narrator where Angel was concerned, and that had been forever ago and Angel had been really depressed back then and it shouldn't count, should it? And anyway, he'd said he'd had an epiphany, hadn't he? Buffy forced herself to take a breath and relax. Or to take a breath, at least. Damn Angel anyway. There was a corner of her heart that would always be his, just as she suspected that a corner of Spike's heart would always belong to Drusilla, so why couldn't they both just stay in their respective corners, safely cocooned in nostalgia? It would make life so much simpler. Everyone else was still arguing. Giles, bless him, had intercepted Kennedy and the Finns, but Dawn pounced on Spike with the speed and ferocity of Miss Kitty hunting the wily laser pointer. "Come on, spill! What plan?" "Doesn't bloody matter what plan, because it's bugfuck insane, and we're not having it." He really wasn't at a hundred percent yet. Insane plans were the last thing that was likely to put Dawn off. Her sister folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that this is the twenty-first century, and I can just, like, phone Cordy and ask her what it is?" Spike's jaw worked, and he glanced up at the ceiling and then over at her, as if imploring the heavens and the Slayer in order of importance. Buffy sighed. "We kinda used her for First Evil bait last year, Spike. The protect-poor-innocent-Dawnie ship has sailed, lost radio contact, and disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle." "I miss the days when a bloke could cut a sodding phone line," Spike muttered. "All bloody right, here's the gist. Chase had the idea this Burkle chit can use Dawn to pop into another dimension, where we'll conveniently run into no slavering monsters whatsoever, traipse across the landscape without falling into any inconvenient pits of molten lava, and pop back into this world in the Hyperion's safe. Then she fancies we can drag this Gunn bloke back the in same manner as whence we came, no doubt scattering sodding rose petals in our wake. I told her — " "But I can do that!" Dawn exclaimed, whirling on Buffy. "You know I can. I got us to Pylea and back last summer! We could drive close to the Hyperion as we can, cross over into the other dimension, hike to the spot where the Hyperion would be, cross back into our world, rescue the prisoners, and cross back to the World of No Slavering Monsters to get back to the car, and then cross back into our world again." At Spike's dubious expression, her own grew obstinate. "Seriously, how is this worse than you sneaking in and out of Angel's hotel through the sewers, which are definitely full of slavering monsters?" You had to admit Spike was giving it the old college try. "And supposing we miss the safe? Pop out in the middle of the lobby? Or the middle of a wall?" "You said Mr. Tanner's with them, right?" Dawn replied, smug. "He's a geomancer, remember? He specializes in topographic magic. I'll bet he can come up with something to get us to the right spot. I'm not dumb. I know this is going to be dangerous, but you need me. It's not like I'm going on some solo mission here. I'll be with you and Buffy, and Faith might even get here by then. All I'm going to do is stand around and exude Key vibes while you guys make with the punchy-kicky." She looked Spike in the eye. "I did fine in Pylea, didn't I? If this was some random nest of vampires..." "But it's not." Buffy hated the brittleness in her voice. "If Angel's really... it took everything I had to beat him last time." More. "You have a lot more now than you had then," Dawn said, her voice softening. "You're only alone if you want to be, Buffy. Let me help. Please." She'd had help last time, too. How could she explain to Dawn that the memory which haunted her nightmares even now was the result of that help: the look of stunned betrayal on Angel's face as she plunged the sword into his heart? If Willow had called his soul back five minutes later, or half an hour sooner... Dawn had never known that particular flavor of heartbreak. She took her sister's hand. "Thanks, Dawnie. But – " "No buts. I get it," Dawn said with the certainty of someone who didn't. "You have all this romantic baggage, and Spike has all these weird-ass vampire daddy issues – " "Oi!" "Well, you do! But you guys have fought demons, and wizards, and gods. I'm not saying Angel isn't a badass, but repeat after me: He's only a vampire." Spike's lips twitched in a rueful smile. "Bit might have a point, love." Rats. She did. Buffy grimaced. "You're not supposed to be the insightful sister." "I've always been the insightful sister." Dawn let her go and bounced back with a grin. "So I'm coming with you, right?" "You're coming." Buffy straightened. "OK, people. Spike and I leave for L.A. tomorrow morning. Kennedy, Willow, Tara, Giles, you're all with us – we'll take two cars if we have to. Riley, do whatever you need to to get your people there, and let me know when you'll arrive. And make sure they know not to randomly stake anything with fangs. Spike's called in some favors from the local vamps, and while I'm not gonna cry bitter tears if some of them come home in a Dust Buster, I don't want to waste troops. We won't know how many of them will keep their word till they actually show up in L.A., so Xander, can you and Anya stay here and coordinate things with David, and let us know how many are coming and when they'll meet up with us?" Xander nodded; if he was disappointed not to be tagged for combat duty, he didn't show it. "Anya and I can pack up the weapons and supplies tonight, if you want to get some rest, Buff." Buffy shot him a grateful look. "That would be great. We'll talk to Cordy in the morning about someplace to stash any allied vamps. Riley?" Riley exchanged a look with Sam. "We've got some fast talking to do with Headquarters. I'll keep you updated." Team Finn rose in tandem and headed for the door. Giles, having assessed the population of Casa Summers and deemed it excessive, was phoning a hotel. Willow was fussing around with Tara, and – "What are we going to do with Grandpa when we get there, Slayer?" And Spike was looking at her like he expected her to have an answer for that. Maybe she did. "After we catch him? We can enroll him in Riley's chiphead program if we have to. At least until we find out what's going on." Spike frowned. "You think a chip in the head's gonna be enough? For Angel?" How was this even a question? "It was enough for you. And it's only temporary." "It was an excuse to hang about in your general vicinity. Not that I'd have admitted as much at the time." His tone was serious; Spike wasn't even trying to pick a fight, damn him, and she really wanted to punch something in the nose right now. "Angel, he won't put up with it, not for the pleasure of anyone's company." Buffy choked back a bitter sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "'A more permanent solution,' huh? Maybe everyone's right. It took me... so long, last time. To... do what I had to. And people died for it. I can't let that happen again. But I can't..." The words dried up in her throat, too painful to force out. "All of you want me to kill him, don't you?" She was shaking. "So easy for all of you to say, because he's not your friend or your lover. Well, you know what? Screw that! Drusilla's up there with him, and I haven't once questioned that you'll be able to handle her!" Spike's eyes flashed yellow for a second, but he didn't rise to the bait. Maybe his L.A. adventure had really knocked some restraint into him after all. "Yeah, well, maybe you should. I promised you Dru's ashes once, if ever you gave me a crumb. P'raps you've noticed that she's not actually a big pile of dust yet, for all I've gotten the whole sodding cake by now." His shoulders drooped. "Fuck it all, pet, I don't want you to kill him. I hate his sodding guts, but he's family. It's just... you keep talking as if you can fix him. What if there's nothing to fix? What if he really has just stopped trying?" "Then we convince him to start trying again. We didn't give up on Willow when the First had her, did we?" Spike stood silent for a moment, his bright head bowed. Then he sighed. "Fair do's," he said. Whatever that meant. "You know I'll back you, Slayer. I've got no doubts you'll do as you have to. Whatever that turns out to be. Just needed to have my say first." The unshakable confidence in his voice was... not cheering, exactly, but something. She laid her forehead against his shoulder, saying with touch what couldn't be said with words. After a moment his arm snaked around her shoulders, and she felt the uneven rise and fall of his chest gradually match the rhythm of her own breathing. She wondered if he even realized that he did that. "I've got to get some sleep. You coming up?" He glanced across the room. "Up in a mo.' Want a word with Tara. Bird's had a rough night of it," Join the club. "OK. See you in a bit." It occurred to her, as she climbed the stairs, that if the worst ever happened between the two of them, Spike would see that final stroke from her hands as an affirmation rather than a betrayal: a little gesture to show that she cared. Which was weird and sick and vampirey, and also... strangely comforting. No wonder Angel was convinced she'd come back from heaven wrong. TBD comments

[seenashwrite]

Nash Recaps The Back Half Of Season 12 - Part One.

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2 / Pt. 3 / Pt. 4

[Note: these are lengthy & have lotsa images, just an FYI before you start]

Good news: soooo many CASPN notes for the S12 Side Deck, and I have re-named each episode with some of these brain droppings. Not-so-good news: my capitalization and punctuation were tossed aside for the following as I was droppin' said brainage in the moment. Rapidly. With much gusto.

And I'm kinda blunt. No, I'm way blunt. I'm cranky. I didn't care for this season. Too many irons in the fire and the writing wasn't robust enough or tight enough to pull it off.  But the best episode of the season is in this bunch, and I wax near damn poetic. I read back through it, and overall it’s entertaining terlit readin’. Hope you enjoy.

Oh, and blame @ilsawasanacrobat for this, there was mild encouragement on her part and that, as y'all know, is all that's needed to egg me on.

12.15 - "A Pregnant Bitch Named Ramsay"

jesus wept, this dragged, that there was maybe a 20 minute story, edits should've started with that painfully long intro; glasses always a plus; good dean/sam banter; handful of good crowley lines; Rando Chick + Rando Doggie Chow = Dean + Sam obvious comparison is obvious #anvil drop #treat your viewers like they're smart #they'll rise to the occasion

soooo done with sam being a lying liar, why they fall back on this shtick I'll never know - wait yeah I do: lazy  #waves at writer's room  

we'll give this one The *Look* Of The Episode.....

so.... largely 'meh', HOWEVER!!!!

Dearest writer who ended this round of said shtick/the episode with shot of Dean's resigned facial expression, to the answering phone with "This is Sam", and hard cut to black?

[chef's kiss] perfection, this is gooooooood shit, that's what I'm lookin' for  #not an anvil in sight #subtlety reigns supreme #believe people the first time #when they tell you #who they are

~ Skip this next one if you like the claire character/find the portrayal anything beyond mediocre, because I don't pull punches ~

12.16 -  "The Voting On Claire's Life"

I prepped dinner through the whole "this shit happened" montage and the two throwaway characters, I was glad they got attacked, heard them from the kitchen, despite having no idea what was said, still know they were very attackable

Oh dean, saying mick's repressing things, that's adorable you lil' kettle, make sure to hit the pot up with more advice later

dear set designer: stop using those bright yellow-railed utility stairs in locations so much, or else paint 'em, I only watch these episodes once but I still notice because they're Bright. Farging. Yellow  #that's the goddamn garage set #and we all know it

magda = one of those missed opportunities, re: too many irons; madga shoulda been off to jody's and donna's posthaste

yes, werewolf on loose, and 'tis true you and your brother were raised to be a team and avoid going off alone when possible but I know better having accumulated about 5 minutes of experience in the field, do stop treating me like a kid, oh very large experienced manly hunter who cares about me, I shall in my 12 year old wisdom take off down yonder path with ridiculous-looking headphones blasting shite music, whatever would be the problem with this decision

holy fuck, empathy and inner reflection, I mean, sort-of, because she's still making everything about her. how the situation she got herself into with magnificent stupidity and the repercussions it therefore spawned impacts her feels, though she's trying to sell it as consideration for jody but her million other actions are better representations of how much she considers jody, and as jody was prepared to love her zombie son and loved her adopted freshly un-vampired daughter without knowing what ripple effects that could have on alex, she would likely welcome a wolfed-claire in with open arms, were claire willing to fight but, ya see, she's not, not really, and does she honestly think being dead will be okey-dokey with jody, and blah blah blah, and were claire and I married in a past life, because she's got the whole obtuse husband routine down cold

can we just let it marinate for a second that this actress/character continues on while shoshannah stern/eileen - and the exceptional actress/magda character - did not? and I KNOW she costs more, her agent must be phenomenal, see below, RE: cast in golden-globe-winning and multi-oscar-nominated tv miniseries and movie, respectively

I loathe the claire character, and >50% of it comes via lazy development on the writers' parts,  but if you want to bask in more of that dead-eyed-dolly delivery, this chick plays Everything. Exactly. The. Same. Way. in "Big Little Lies" and "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, MO", and I'm not being snarky or hyperbolic -  I'd reserved judgment throughout her tenure on the show, but at this point I'm less on the fence, she's gotten better material and been surrounded by pretty fucking high-caliber actors  in those other 2 than spn writers/casting have provided, so.... yeah.... and in real life, she's got a great personality, I've seen it in clips that go around of interviews or whatever, not a clue what happens when they call "action" it's like she immediately deflates - it was hooooorribly evident in the pilot for wayward, all those other gals - patience/kaia/alex - showed range and had light in their eyes and felt natural in their characters, then there was ol' faithful flat face over yonder.... the lil' kid actors, particularly the one playing her younger sister, in BLL run rings around her.... and sweet lord, she had to share screentime with frances mcdormand in 3BB, can you imagine? I'd be wearing Depends, and the kid playing her brother held his own pretty well [he is *palpably* nervous in his scenes w/FMcD] but I tell ya, with her, it goes from painful [spn] to cringy [BLL] to second-hand embarassment in 3BB, and real fast

but  speaking of SPN/WS writers, I am hoping for some maturity in wayward, like we've seen in alex, and patience is clearly already mature, just new to the game, and kaia I have a feeling is gonna rock our heads off...  occasional ptsd ripples are fine/justified, so are handfuls of learning-curve mistakes, but if I wanted to watch a show about whiny teens fucking up over and over again, then, um, I would #waves at showrunner(s)  #teens aren't one-trick-ponies  #go, like, talk to one #and if you're basing her off  #your own kids' behavior?  #bless your hearts  #legit  #what PITAs

what is UP with the the flashbacks and flashsideways at the end?! ugh. were not needed

y'know, Tiff @butiaintgonnaloveem told me, she TOLD ME not to bother watching this episode, and I did it anyway, and I keep having to get up and walk away and come back, it is taking me like three hours to get through this ass disaster OKAY okay I'm done you're all better than me, it's why I'm a pseudo-fan because.... because..... grrrr..... never mind, I'll channel it elsewhere.....

the awesomesauce was of course the plethora of quality "looks" between the guys and what is, dare I say, not only The *Look* Of The Episode, but possibly The *Look* Of The Season:

Bottom line - they could've accomplished the "hey there's mick get to like him better 'cause we're gonna kill him dead here in a bit" without the claire element; have I mentioned I loathe claire, I *loathe* claire, they have boned that character and didn't even take it out to dinner first, I mean, daughter of an angel, essentially? cool-ass chick hunter? I'm in, but this is what we got, and.... I'm stopping, I swear....

#pleasepickupwaywardsothatactresswillnotbeonthisshowagainatleastnotasoftenokthxbye

12.17 - "Ketch's Fierce Manspread on the Bedspread"

lady, shut uuuuuuuup, why is her blah-blah so looooooong

oh... oh, my.... well, golly.... to snitch a line from back when the scripts were tight and trippy: sweet Peter on a popsicle stick

but... but why? I don't get the need for this, it's.... [heaving sigh] damn this is stupid, and that's an objective not a subjective, and here's why: math, specifically the math on their acceptance numbers - and not counting legacies, they couldn't put legacies in this, I don't care what they say because the powers that be aren't gonna pony up their grandbabies, it's why rich elites' kids magically don't get drafted into military service - so just the plain ol' recruiting AND retention rates would have to be of such a high margin to balance out this "to the death" bullshit that there's no way it would be sustainable, the math doesn't follow; The Kingsmen* did this better; also, I appreciate giving the BMoLs a touch of "umph" because their primary shtick is almost fucking to the letter a re-hash of Buffy's arc with the British Watcher's Council, complete with speeches on how not everything out in monster hunting land is black and white, the pointing out of buffy's willingness to work with vampires and witches, plus poor man's Wesley, a.k.a. Mick [sorry dude - perhaps more time and you'd have risen to that level but them's big shoes to fill], so yeah, I'm glad for the punch of something insidious or creepy, but this was just eye-roll-worthy

* no, Nash - The Kingsmen did "Louie Louie"; you mean to say "Kingsman".... and what say you, Colin Firth?

Opening scene in impala w/the 3 of them flows smoothly, feels natural,  is delicious #good shit

dear dabb: is there a reason how everybody, and their mother, and their dogs, their minister, their bikini waxer, their accountant, and their under-the-table weed dealer knows that the winchesters are, um, unbeatable and unkillable to boot, except for the stuffily stereotypically-stereotypical british broad who's supposedly in-the-know about all things monster? does she even apocalypse? so, SO stupid. dabb, you & the S12 writers couldn't plot your way out of a graveyard even if death was co-piloting the backhoe

oh blah blah dickensian street orphan blah - stop fisting my face with useless backstory on mick. staaaaaaahhhhp. we get it. he's a soft-hearted sweetie, they thought they'd be gathering up a litter of wayward psychopaths, lucked out with a Ketch (probs more than one, tbh) and amongst them was cockney potter poor man's wesley wyndham pryce.  WE GOT IT HE'S ADORABLE HE'S DEAD MEAT

ah, so early we find you, The *Look* Of The Episode....

....which, that watermark  reminds me, a hearty #fuckoffriverdale  Pictured below: dean channeling me, when I'm thinking about how someone actually paid someone else for the oh-so-original idea of taking something cheeky-campy-fun and going all broody-angsty-dark with it like, say, Archie Comics.....

this chick playing dagon is tops, which is how I knew early on she'd be dead meat. hey, look! it's cousin oliver!

if they snuck something eerie into the sonogram then I missed it - and I checked - so if there was, it wasn't obvious enough. they ain't got a pair over in ye olde graphics hub, because if animators have no chill with sticking dicks into rando scenes in cartoons so that bible belt mommies get the vapors, the least they coulda done is given us a preview of the forthcoming creepy ass smile.  devil parasite teeth coulda been some stephen king shit right there

historically/more-often-than-not, the show make-ups and/or over-barrel-curls and/or lights [indoors] most of the women in such a way that they perpetually look 10-to-15 years older than their actual age, but my good gravy did they do right by shoshannah in the beer clink scene, hair and makeup and lighting on damn point, so refreshing to see, because our #deadmeat loaf needed a third yummy ingredient, I suppose ::sigh::

hey thanks for making crowley out to be a fucking idiot in that unneeded, added nothing, “why was it even in there?”, “I guess there were contract minimums to meet, so here we are” scene

that orderly, mannered, turn-by-turn, ever-so-slowly-rolled, dagon fling-away processional made me burst out laughing so hard that I woke up the dogs  hahahahahahaahaha  [wheeze] HAAAAAAAAhahahahaha   #when the nash nieces and nephews choreograph fight scenes in the living room

real talk? the mary and ketch dynamic has my support 1000%, that scene made me like them - together and separately - quite a bit. I had actually caught this scene in the midst of whatever I was doing the night it originally aired, and it was enough to distract me into paying attention, and also because I couldn't figure what was with the one-leg-out-up-and-bent post-coital lounging thing happening

well-executed execution, knew it was coming [both because t-bag giffage, and, um, hello see above, re: dabb & co ain't never met an anvil they didn't wanna drop], but even so - the timing was good, they didn't let his speech drag out too long, even though ol' girl's THE COOOOOODE speech was too long. still. they got-in/got-out fairly well

holy shitsnacks. THE CODE. THE LORE. #mindblowers #CASPN Crew feels me on this

12.18 - "A Goat Dude With A Name Like A Pirate's"

oh poor man's Jay Baruchel's about to eat it, ain't he? we were actually getting a cheeky lil' cold open here for once  :::sigh:::

GOAAAAAAT HEAD HAMMER STRIIIIIIIKE JERKY ZOOM IN YAAAAAASSSSS this is the show I signed up for. This. This right here.

give the very magnetic guest sheriff all the gold stars, he is phenomenal, every line delivery, the pacing, the proud-papa eyeballing of the taxidermy, ALL OF IT

it is exactly seven minutes and forty-eight seconds in, and I am actually adoring this episode STOP EVERYTHING IT'S HAPPENING I MIGHT BE TIP-TOEING NEAR THE FAN LINE

rando urban legend [nods], good.... diner banter, very good.... dean sizing up the utterly basic average waitress, annoyed sam tries to press on,  good good.... [nods again, reaches for snack, settling in] ah-HA! it's the first THE LORE of the episode, hey, should I be documenting those, too?  no. no, I don't have that kind of time

sorry, my dude

lookit the soft, pretty snow.... [sniffs]

his mjolnir is like a lil' repurposed beer stein.....

I just looked up who wrote this - he has written a grand total of 2 eps, this one, and the other he had to (I've no doubt) carry Dabb on: the wrestling one, which was littered with great moments, places for the guys to stretch their acting legs as it were, nice nostalgia/insight about their childhood that was just kinda floated out there vs. laxative-like exposition, had some fantastic crowley/cas dialogue to boot, and.....  and......

WHY IS HE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE MORE THINGS, HE GETS THIS SHOW

Sam bringin' it home - I know we're not done yet, but I'm placing my bets now that this is, to be sure, The *Look* Of The Episode:

oh it's this dude. he's the goat. placing my bets there, too. I find his eyebrows off-putting. goat head = smart move. if he ain't the goat, then he's playing this way too weird. actually if he *is* the goat, he's playing this way too weird  #that's a director anvil #I don't blame the writers

Ketch brand sneery snark is so marvelous..... goooooood tension with the flashlight slow walk peek in grate...... the sound/music is on point...... this is the best episode of the season, easily. like, it'll have to whiff it hard from here on out for me to hate it....  YES KETCH YAAAASSSSSS that fucking telescope in a basement..... music here is nailing it, too, it's very jessica jones-ish..... and THANK YOU for just showing them bugging the place, no stupid exposition on here is where we're putting them, here's how we're gonna monitor the frequency bleh bleh bleeecccchhh

THANK YOU WRITER, YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS, SO GOOOOOOD WHEN WILL THEY LET YOU WRITE MORE OF THE THINGS

that family business line coulda gone hella cheesy anvil drop [whispers --- like the on-a-hunt one in wayward pilot sorry-not-sorry] but here it worked, great delivery, great ackles face pull, they hit the moment and it was gone as soon as it came, nicely done

god bless, even the *lighting* is great, the aforementioned grating basement thing, this red in the freezer, dry ice is a touch much but HOOVES ARE THOSE HOOVES OR JUST REALLY CLUNKY BOOTS

the continued hammer-and-sam interactions are not passing me by, I don't know why this is a thing, but I'm not fighting it

that fizzle crackle colt through-and-through tho.... LOOOOVE

did he just dissolve-fart into some paint that I swear to god I'd used for a bathroom I was being wishy-washy on regarding color so I went with this flat pewter neutral garbage? DID I PAINT THE BATHROOM THE COLOR OF MELTED GOD

and what exactly did the monster look like, hmm? WE DON'T KNOW IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT'S WHY IT'S BETTER  #it’s the Jaws under the water thing #the trick to making situations unsettling is #not showing all your cards

then..... and..... and.... and  then.......

THAT IS HOW YOU DO A FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

let us not forget that this episode also spawned the greatest outtake that ever outtaked #chupacabra

okay, so, to sum up......  I've seen the finale, so since I'm done here, this means 4 more to go, but lemme say now......

Best. Episode. Of. The. Season. 

plot to dialogue to casting to execution to set design to sound to costuming to lighting - granted,  minor quibble in that the villain played it a squinch too obvious - but this was as close to flawless as I've seen since earlier seasons, the most recent being.... my mind drifts to something in the 9/10 ballpark but I couldn't say what just now.... beyond this nightmare of a season and the molasses drag that was the darkness arc, for sure.  anyway. yeah. #good shit

Part two whenever I get around to binge-a-palooza again. I can do this. I might do this. Nah, I will. Eventually.

[hydesbride]

TOP TEN BUFFY SUMMERS SCENES ON BTVS (I know there's obviously more than ten so don't feel bad about only *listing* ten. ;)

Oh I love this! Buffy is my favorite character OF ALL TIME, so naturally I could list most of her scenes, but I managed to narrow it down to 10…plus 5! Okay I am just that pathetic that I needed 15…and a few honorable mentions. I’m sorry! I will just put them in chronological order, because ranking them would probably kill me!

1. Prophecy Girl - Buffy’s speech to Giles “Giles. I’m sixteen years old. I don’t want to die.” We had seen Buffy grapple with the balance of being a teenager and being The Slayer, but up until this point, it hadn’t been driven home completely. This scene broke it all open. It put in perspective just how young this girl is and how she was forced to give up her childhood and now, her LIFE. An extension to this scene is the way she marches off to face The Master, despite knowing she will die and then the bad ass bantering way in which she defeats him. “You’ve got fruit punch mouth.” “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty”

2. Becoming Part II -  The fight between Buffy and Joyce, “No, it doesn’t stop! It never stops! Do you think I chose to be like this? You have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs, watching TV or gossiping about boys or… God, even studying! But I have to save the world. Again.” The weight of the world is on Buffy’s shoulders, as it always is, and she is pretty much losing everything. This showdown with her mom was long overdue, and the absolute heartbreak of knowing that this young woman has to endure even more suffering to save the world is unbearable. I have to include the other pinnacle moment from this episode as a Buffy fan…when Angelus is taunting Buffy, “No weapons… no friends… no hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” and Buffy simply replies “Me.” THAT is Buffy Summers. No matter what the circumstances, she is there standing between us and the forces of darkness and nothing can break her.

3. Helpless - Buffy is being drugged by Giles on behalf of The Watchers. Throughout the episode we get a chance to see how terrifying her job is without any special abilities. The moment she marches in to save her mother from a viscous, rabid vampire, with no super powers to speak of, gives me chills. She is so scared, but she is Buffy. That means she puts aside her fear and fights. It was an incredible moment which proved that Buffy did not need super powers to be a hero. It is her heart and her mind that made her strong.

4. Earshot - The speech Buffy makes to Jonathan in the tower. It was so incredibly poignant and relevant to teenagers and all humanity, really “My life happens, on occasion, to suck beyond the telling of it…sometimes more than I can handle. And it’s not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones, the popular ones, the guys that pick on you, everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling: the loneliness, the confusion…it looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening.” It is so profound, and it makes us all realize that we need to look beyond the surface and empathize with others and understand that we aren’t the only ones to shed tears.

5. Family - The way Buffy sticks up for Tara in this episode makes me cry every single time. Tara had just screwed up. She made a mistake that could have cost the scoobies their lives, and prior to that Buffy had already been failing to click with or really understand Tara. But she understood her in that moment. She saw a woman who was desperate to fit in and be “normal”, she saw someone who, while being different, was fighting similar demons as the rest of the scoobies. She saw a woman who was being abused by her own blood, and she stood up for her. She welcomed Tara into the family with open arms, “You want her Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her. You just gotta go through me…You heard me. You want to take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.” Mr. Maclay: “You people have no right to interfere with Tara’s affairs. We are her blood kin. Who the hell are you?” Buffy replies “We’re family.” This is just so moving. Family isn’t about blood. It’s not what you’re born with. It’s what you make. Buffy is the greatest friend, and given the compassion and understanding Tara shows for Buffy when Joyce dies and when Buffy comes back from Heaven, you can really see how much this moment meant to Tara.

6. Checkpoint - The scene where Buffy confronts The Watchers Council, “I’ve had a lot of people talking at me the last few days, everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am, and I finally figured out why…power. I have it. They don’t. This bothers them. Glory came to my home today…just to talk. She told me I’m a bug, I’m a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn’t. She came into my home and we had what in her warped mind probably passes for a civilized conversation, Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn’t come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in, to give your jobs…your lives…some semblance of meaning.” Buffy coming to the realization that everyone was trying to cut her down because they were threatened and intimated by her power is amazing. She owns it so well.

7. Blood Ties - The scene in the hospital with Dawn, “It’s Summer blood. It’s just like mine. You ARE my sister.” The way Buffy assures Dawn that she IS her sister, and that she loves her, not because of her duties as The Slayer, but because of the connection she feels to her as a sister. Dawn didn’t have to start out as her family, but like with Tara, we see that origins are not something that concerns Buffy. Family is made not born.

8. Intervention - The final scene with Spike. Buffy pretends to be the bot to find out if Spike told Glory about Dawn. When she realizes he would rather die than reveal this secret, she understands for the first time that his love for her is in fact real, and she takes pity on him with the gentlest of kisses. “What you did for me and for Dawn…THAT was real. I won’t forget it.”, and she doesn’t. It is Spike that she continually trusts to protect Dawn in her absence, above all others. As a Spuffy shipper, this scene obviously is one of my favorites, but as a fan of Buffy it ranks up there too. Buffy values loyalty and with Spike she ends up finding the greatest partner in her fight. Side note: The revelation that death is Buffy’s gift and that she is so full of love that she pulls away from it are also really amazing.

10. The Gift - The whole episode really. “But you’re just a girl.” “That’s what I keep saying.” and the staunch way she fights Giles over Dawn when he dares to say Dawn is not her sister, “You’re right. She’s more than that. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. When I hold her…I feel closer to her than… It’s not just the memories they built. It’s physical. Dawn… is a part of me. The only part that I…” then later Giles says that everyone in the world will die, including Dawn, and her response is the most perfect thing, “Then the last thing she’ll see is me protecting her.”. I also really love her later speech to Giles, “I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much, but I knew what was right. I don’t have that anymore. I don’t know how to live in this world if these are the choices, if everything gets stripped away. I don’t see the point. I just wish that…I just wish that my mom was here.” In Becoming, Buffy was able to kill Angel. It was black and white, but now the world is gray, and she is asked to kill an innocent, an innocent that she loves more than she has ever loved ANYTHING. Then of course we have the sacrifice and the speech, “"Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.” Buffy never hesitates to give her life. It’s who she is. I don;t think any scene on the series makes me cry as much as this one. The beauty that is Buffy Summers… The amount of love in her heart and the way she gives it all for the people around her… I’m going to cry now just talking about it.

11. After Life - When Buffy reveals the horrible truth to Spike, “I was happy. Wherever I was… I was happy… at peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time… didn’t mean anything. Nothing had form. But I was still me, you know? And I was warm. And I was loved. And I was finished. Complete. I - I don’t understand theology or dimensions, any of it really… but I think I was in heaven. And now I’m not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out, by my friends. Everything here is hard and bright and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch. This is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that. Knowing what I’ve lost. They can never know. Never.” The heartbreaking revelation that this hero who sacrificed herself was ripped out of the ultimate happiness and thrown back into her world of violence and death is just so painful, and it sets up the season and Buffy’s depression, perfectly. And of course, being Buffy, she is still trying to save her friends from the massive guilt and regret they would feel for what they did. Obviously, it really wasn’t Buffy’s time, and she recovers and finds the desire to live in the world again, but the pain of loss in this scene is just so intense.

12. Conversations with Dead People/End of Days - Getting to the root of Buffy feeling both superior and inferior, “I feel like I’m worse than anyone. Honestly, I’m beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I’m not worthy of their love. ‘Cause even though they love me, it doesn’t mean anything ‘cause their opinions don’t matter. They don’t know. They haven’t been through what I’ve been through. They’re not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel…this is awful…I feel like I’m better than them. Superior.” I always love the scenes when Buffy discusses what it means to be The Slayer and the complexities of it. I couple this one with the scene between Buffy and Faith in End of Days when Faith says “Me, by myself all the time. I’m looking at you, everything you have, and, I don’t know… jealous. Then there I am. Everybody’s looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. And that’s you ever day, isn’t it?” to which Buffy replies “I love my friends. I’m very grateful for them. But that’s the price…being a slayer.” Faith finally grasps the severity and pressure that rests with Buffy, and is such an honest scene and a great finale for their relationship.

13. Bring on the Night - The end speech…it is seriously one of the most epic scenes ever written. Buffy was beaten to a pulp, nearly killed, and she walks down those stairs and she faces the group with the most resolute conviction and strength that I have ever seen on my television screen and says ” I’m beyond tired. I’m beyond scared. I’m standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it’ll choke on me. We’re not ready? They’re not ready. They think we’re gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I’m done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we’ll give ‘em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now. 'Cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won’t just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one, until The First shows itself for what it really is. And I’ll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that’s us. Any questions?“ If that doesn’t make you love Buffy…if that doesn’t give you serious chills, there is something wrong with you.

14. Showtime - When Buffy faces off with the ubervamp (Chaka Khan lol) to teach the whiny potentials a lesson…it is pure genius and just SO Buffy Summers “I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about.” All Buffy needed to find was her confidence. Whenever she sets her mind to something, she does it. It’s not about the weapons. It is all in her strength of conviction. She decided to slay the ubervamp to make a point, and she did just that. “Here endeth the lesson.”

15. Chosen - Buffy shares the power of The Slayer with all potentials. It is such a lovely and empowering moment seeing so many women finding their strength and rising up. The plan Buffy concocts and the way it is executed is so amazing. As is the way she builds the confidence of Willow and of Spike, who play key roles in the fight. The way the battle shifts according to Buffy’s state, when she is down her side starts losing. But when we see her rise up and tell the first to get out of her face, the entire game changes. Of course the moment she finally admits to herself and to Spike that she loves him, as their hands clasp in flames while she both cries and smiles is just poetry. The revelation is so true and so beautiful. And there is her smile at the very end, at the realization that she no longer has to carry the weight of the world anymore. Perfection.

So yeah, I managed to leave off a ton of scenes I love like the way Buffy chooses Xander/Willow as her friends in Welcome to the Hellmouth when she could have picked the in crowd. There is the wonderful scene in The Prom when her peers recognize her for everything she does or the way she finds her strength again in season 4’s “The Freshman”. There’s also the moments of her teaching Dawn and the potentials how to fight and the way she goes into the vineyard to face Caleb alone in Touched. Not to mention the scenes in season 7 where she champions for Spike now that he has a soul or the scenes in Wrecked/Same Time Same Place where she accepts Willow despite her magic issues, first helping her with the addiction then literally giving Willow her power to help her heal. Gosh there are just so many. This is why Buffy Summers is by far the most brilliant, amazing, loyal, strong, courageous, and complex character ever created.

[whatdoyouthinkmyjobis]

Hunters on the Hellmouth

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AN: Inspired by events in BTVS 7.17 “Lies My Parents Told Me.”  Links to character sheets at the bottom of the story.

Chapter 33: New Man

Spike’s heart pounded against his ribs, begging for a break. His lungs burned, each breath large and deep, like he was trying to inhale oceans. He ran until sweat dripped into his eyes. He wiped his forehead and stared at his fingertips glistening in the sunlight.

Having run from the house in a t-shirt, the cool winter air nipped at his damp skin until goosebumps peppered his arms. He was still on the outskirts of town surrounded by houses and one mission-style Catholic church.

It clearly not being a day for bursting into flames, Spike entered the church and found two old women praying at the altar. He couldn’t smell them over the incense. Usually, old women reeked of creams, ointments, and god-awful perfume. The stench was part of why vampires avoided the elderly.

He stole a seat in the back at stared at the twisted body hanging at the front of the sanctuary. Like any good Victorian Londoner, Spike had been raised in the church, Anglican specifically, but the idea of God escaped him. Why would anyone, let alone the son of God, sacrifice themselves for him? Who believed he merited a second chance?

An elderly priest leaned into his pew. “Can I help you, my son?”

“Yeah, thought I’d start the new year off right with God, but I seem to ‘ave forgotten my prayer beads.”

The priest smiled at him. “You may borrow mine.” He pulled his rosary, a simple design of dark wood with a brass cross, from his pocket, and dropped it in the vampire’s hands.

The vampire did not burn.

All Dean could understand from the girls screaming at each other was that someone’s something had gone missing. Buffy and Willow were doing their best to calm the situation when he and Sam decided to seek out the quiet of the still-wrecked Impala parked in Buffy’s driveway.

“Maybe it was a mistake not telling them about Lucifer,” Dean said, bunching up a blanket to use as a pillow.

“Trust me, Lucifer isn’t comforting news. Besides, I think they’re still riding the high of burning those Bringers; plus, most of them are starting a new school Monday. Probably shouldn't add to the emotional cocktail.” 

“Are you done touching the feelings?”

Sam shrugged. “I just remember what it was like to be a teenager-by-day, monster-fighter-by-night. Add to that, they’re far from home, have cultural barriers, and are all pretty new to this. They’re not going to be insta-buddies. Besides, it’s not like we didn’t have stupid fights when we were kids.”

“We’d have had fewer fights if you weren’t so stubborn.” A light rain began to patter on the car. The clouds gave the sunset an eerie glow.

Sam tapped the front bench seat, staring at his fingers like they were giving him a message in Morse Code. “I’ve been doing some research.”

“Water is wet.” Dean’s joking did nothing to ease the anxiety on his brother’s face.

“According to Slayer lore--”

“Here we go.”

“--the first Slayer was created by combining the ‘heart of a demon’ whatever that means, with some teenage girl. Good news is, nothing happened to Buffy when we did the exorcism so--” 

“The fuck?” Dean shot up, ignoring his sore body while his blood boiled. “No. You do not just move on from that statement. Were you fucking experimenting on my girlfriend because you thought she was fucking possessed?”

“I didn’t think she was possessed, but that’s what the lore says,” Sam said, innocently. “If I thought she was dangerous, I would have told you.”

Dean knew the look on his brother’s face, and knew he wasn’t sorry one bit. He tamped down the desire to sock Sam in the jaw. “Don’t fucking put on that innocent puppy face with me! What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I was thinking she’s a vessel, too, and I wanted to know what ‘heart of a demon’ meant because clearly it’s not literal demonic possession.”

“Fuck no it’s not!”

“God, take a breath, Dean. You’re turning purple.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” he yelled. “For once in my life, I feel like I have a fucking life. There is this amazing woman who actually gives a rat’s ass about me for more than one night -- hell, she loves me for christssake -- and you’re pokin’ at her to find out what makes her tick?”

“I didn’t want to tell you because, crazy idea, I thought you’d lose your shit,” Sam snapped.

Dean’s ribs reminded him they were still healing as he tried to take deep breaths. “You have no right.”

Scratching his head, Sam sighed. “Dean, how many comic books have you read? How many horror movies have you seen? Whatever the Slayer is, there’s an origin story, but it’s not the story that’s in the lore. I just want to know why there’s a monster-fighting superhero here, but not at home.”

They glared at each other, jaws clenched, nostrils flaring, for a minute before Sam asked, “Do you want to know what I’ve found?’

Dean didn’t, but he did. He leaned back against the seat and tried to relax.

“Remember how I was looking into possession? It looks like there are only a few types of people who can be possessed -- Slayers, vampires, and witches -- and each has special conditions under which it can happen. We know when someone gets bitten by a vamp, they lose their soul and the demon takes their corpse for a ride. Given what we just did to Spike, that one pans out. But the lore says the Slayer is also possessed by a demon, and that just doesn’t hold --”

There was a knock on the window before Buffy opened the door and climbed in the seat with Dean. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I’m super jealous of the calm in here.” Damp from the drizzle, she nestled against her boyfriend.

Dean was happy to be holding her no matter what his brother thought. He kissed the top of her head, eliciting a contented sigh.

“Should I leave you two alone?” Sam asked.

“Shut up,” said Buffy. “Today’s been weird, okay?”

“Girls okay?”

“Okay-ish? No one’s talking to Lili, but I’m too worried about Spike to care.”

After being freed from the demon parasite that had been riding him for over a century, Spike had run out into the daylight and disappeared. At first, Buffy had been practically giddy. They had taken something from the darkness, but as the day wore on and Spike did not return, she poured her nervous energy into scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom and snapping at anyone who came near. It was like waiting to hear news from the surgeon. Someone had been opened up, but was the operation successful?

“I’m sure the poofy’s fine. He’s probably sulking in a mausoleum somewhere.”

“Or he’s being tortured by Lucifer again,” she said.

“Is he even still a vampire?” asked Sam. “I’m not sure the vampire and the demon are separate here.”

Dean glared at his brother. Not that he shared Buffy’s concern, but the last thing he wanted to do was compound her worries.

She drew little patterns on Dean’s chest with her fingertips, a habit when she was mulling an idea over. “If Spike is okay, if the exorcism managed to get rid of the demon and save the man, I was wondering if we could head to Los Angeles after all this Lucifer stuff is over and maybe --”

“I guess we could ask him,” Sam said, pointing to the end of the driveway where a pale figure paced back and forth in the rain.

They got out of the car as Spike walked by, shivering in his t-shirt. “Got a bloody clown car going?”

“Where have you been?” Buffy asked.

“Around.” He shuffled his feet and bounced, trying to get warm. “Can go all sorts of places in the daylight now.”

Dean tossed him a blanket from the backseat. “You can probably catch cold too. Let’s head in. It’s dinner time.”

The next day, Sam straddled a chair across from Buffy’s desk as they listened to the gaggle of girls on the other side of the cubicle wall. The school’s bewildered guidance counselor was trying to organize the flood of unexpected transfers whose papers Dean had faked.

I can’t believe this is working! Buffy mouthed. Having all but six of them in school all day was a relief.

“I wish we were in the same classes,” Cloé complained in Spanish.

“Chiquita, we’re two grades apart,” Gabi laughed.

“Why couldn’t they lie about that too?”

“It’s only seven hours, and look, we have the same lunch and study hall. Ooh, we have Sam for study hall. He’s cute.”

“Ew, he’s old,” protested Cloé.

Sam pretended he hadn’t heard them and asked Buffy, “Ready to jump back into ‘My parents don’t get me’ and ‘My teachers are so mean?’”

“God yes!” She twirled a pencil in her fingers. “You do remember how unvacationy vacation was, right?”

Sam patted the angry scars that ran across his abs. “I have my holiday souvenirs. Can’t wait for spring break.”

Being back at school was surreal. Sam was about to dive back into nearly eight hours a day helping teenagers and teachers with research, organizing the books, and updating files. Yet his Clark Kent hours bore a sickly green edge today. Caring about the state of the biography section seemed pointless when Lucifer was out of his cage and lurking near the school.

Killing the Turok-Han and a handful of Bringers had been spitting in Lucifer’s eye. Disarming his vampire sleeper agent was stomping the Devil’s toe. Any moment, he could send something new their way -- tormenting visions of the dead, an army of vampires, drunk clowns with knives. Different world. Different rules.

Just then, an unsmiling Principal Wood showed up, eyeing them with suspicion. “Glad to see you’re all up and at ‘em after your accident.”

“Couple of regular Christmas miracles,” said Buffy with a nervous smile.

Wood nodded before turning to Sam, all friendliness gone from his face. “Mr. Winchester, I was hoping to catch you before the bell. Would you mind stepping into my office?”

They walked through the remainder of the girls waiting for a student guide for their first day. Wood assumed his seat and stared at him over steepled fingers. The clock ticked louder than the bustle of students on the other side of the wall. He’d been in enough principals’ offices and interrogation rooms to know this tactic. Sam stared back.

The bell rang.

The clock ticked.

Opening a file, Wood said, “You don’t need to worry about the library. I was able to find a substitute.”

Sam continued to stare.

“I got bored over winter break, decided to investigate. You’re an intelligent man, Mr. Winchester, but something’s always been a little off about you. You swept in out of nowhere right when we needed a new librarian, waving your freshly printed Stanford diploma. You know Mr. Espada the chemistry teacher? He went to Stanford, too. His diploma doesn’t look like yours.” Wood slid copies of both documents across the desk, but Sam ignored them.

“I thought, ‘Maybe they changed the format.’ After all, he graduated a few years before you. But it gnawed at me, so I dug a little further and found Tiffany Tusing. Remember her?”

Judging by the giant smile plastered on Wood’s face, he was about to hit a home-run.

Sam continued to stare.

“Tiffany Tusing died in a car accident in 1993, which I am surprised we didn’t know before seeing as you’re using her social security number. Do you care to tell me why you used the social security number of a dead girl and falsified records to secure a position as Sunnydale High’s librarian?”

“I like books.”

“Suffice to say, as of right now you’re suspended while I investigate further. I will call you when it’s time to clean out your desk.”

Jada was excellent with a knife. Dean sat at the kitchen counter watching her chop vegetables with fury. If she ever decided to throw down against the monsters lurking outside, she wouldn’t be half bad in a fight.

“I still can’t believe he suspended you! Your reviews have been good. He hasn’t complained at all. What is his problem?”

“It’s personality clashes wrapped in politics. I’m sure it will be cleared up soon,” said Sam as he put salmon fillets on a baking sheet. Their fake identities obviously weren’t on the list of supernatural weirdness he’d explained to her.

“Want one, Dean, or are you having dinner with Buffy?” Sam asked with a smirk.

One glance at the fish and Dean curled up his lip in disgust. “Nah, she’s busy with the girls.”

“Girls?” Jada asked brightly, clearly happy to think about something other than how much she hated Principal Wood.

“Remember how I said there’s trouble at Buffy’s?” Sam asked.

“And the trouble is girls?” she repeated with an eyebrow raised. “Little girls or big girls?”

“Too many girls!” Dean grumbled. “Anyway, I think I’ll leave you to your whatever the hell you call that and take this leg out for a spin.” Tired of feeling useless, he had insisted the doctors x-ray his broken ankle. They were shocked to see it had healed in half the normal time, but Dean -- finally cast-less -- scooted out of the hospital before they could start running tests.

“Oh, okay, have a good time, Dean!” Jada waved at him with a smile. She was in comforting mode. He hoped Sam remembered to put a sock on the door.

Full of fries and a cheeseburger, Dean grabbed his beer and sauntered over to the pub’s neglected pool table. Before they’d decided to stay in Sunnydale, he and Sam had hustled pool at every bar in town to keep themselves in beer and scratchy sheets. Enough time had passed, they should be able to do another round. They could at least hit up nearby Santa Barbara. Keep the Potentials in cereal and whatever else a houseful of teenage girls could need.

Halfway through his second rack and third beer, someone said, “You’re pretty good.” At the other end of the table stood a tall, dark man with a goatee and shaved head. He was smiling, friendly.

After Buffy had told Dean about the extensive stalker file she’d found in the principal’s office, he had decided to look Robin Wood up. Brooklyn-born, he moved to the suburbs of Los Angeles after his mother was murdered when he was four. Always athletic, he played baseball and tennis all through school. He’d graduated in the middle of his class at UCLA, and spent several years in Teach for America before heading back to school for an administrative degree. On paper, he seemed like an all-American, up-from-nothing success story. Standing before him now, Dean didn’t like whatever secrets were behind Wood’s shining eyes.

“Wanna play?” Dean asked.

Wood whistled low. “Pretty sure you’d play me out of house and home.”

“Nah,” said Dean, racking the balls, “I only swindle my friends. You new to town, mister, uh?”

“Calvin! Name’s Calvin. Yeah, just moved up here from LA.” Wood extended his hand for a shake, but Dean left him hanging.

“That so?” Dean took the opening break shot, sinking two solids.

“Liking the small town life. Quaint. Calm. What about you, buddy? Lived here long?”

“Few months.”

“What brought you here?”

“Work.”

“Really? What do you do?” Wood asked, clearly determined to keep up his cheerful ruse.

“Exterminator.”

“Exterminator? Are the pests different in Sunnydale than where you’re from?”

“A bit.” Dean sunk two more balls. He was half finished before Wood even started.

Without a clear shot, Wood chose to bump his ball in Dean’s way. “What did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t.”

Wood pursed his lips and nodded his head. “You’re not the most sociable guy are you?”

“Maybe I just don’t like you,” Dean growled.

“You don’t even know me.”

Dean flexed his fingers. The principal was an inch or two taller than him, with the thick arms of someone who’d spent time punching a bag. But bags didn't hit back.

Dean’s phone rang. Keeping his eye on his new friend, he answered, “Hey Girly. What’s up?”

“I’m done with training. Mind if I come over?” The bubbly tone to her voice indicated patrol had gone well.

“Sounds good.” He hung up and bumped into Wood’s shoulder, smirking. “It’s been fun, Robin. Let’s not do this again.”

Wood banished from his mind, Dean paced his room as he waited on Buffy to arrive. She hadn’t been over since Christmas Eve, and he was still pretty beaten up then. Though he’d spent the last week at her place, they’d barely had any time together.

A satisfied moan came from Sam’s room.

The pressure in Dean’s jeans was painful, so he went to the window to distract himself. He could just make out Orion’s belt through the bright lights of town. Buffy, not knowing where the mythic figures started and stopped, had claimed the cluster of stars making Orion’s shield as her own. The Slayer’s Heart, she called it. It was sappy and silly, but it was theirs. He wanted to share the sky with her.

Turning his face from the heavens to the street, Dean’s smile faded. A blue 1997 Dodge Stratus, the same car Robin Wood drove, was parked across the street. Dean was lacing his boots to confront the principal when Buffy opened his bedroom door.

In an instant, she was in his arms, her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the wall. Their kiss long and deep reveling in their perfect fit. “Missed you, Girly,” he said as he moved to kissing her neck.

A moan rose from deep in her throat as she played with his hair. “I can’t stay long -- twenty minutes tops, but I had to see you.”

He set her on top of his dresser and rubbed her leather-clad thighs. She knew those pants drove him crazy. “You’re smiling like you had a good day.”

“Mostly. You’re out of your cast. Spike came out of the basement and tried to feed himself; Alma had to teach him how to cook. Both Vi and Keisha staked vampires tonight. That’s three successful trainee patrols in a row.”

“I miss patrolling with you.”

“You, mister, are distracting with those kissable lips.” She sucked on his bottom lip like he was her favorite candy. “And that deep, rumbly voice. God, when you talk dirty--” She tugged off his shirt, a wolfish hunger in her eyes. “Other than the little things like Lucifer being out there doing God knows what and Wood suspending Sam--”

“Ugh.” Dean shook his head. “That jackass is outside.”

“What?!”

“Wood. I went down to the bar for dinner, and he was there trying to chat me up. Now he’s parked outside.”

Buffy dashed to the window. “I see you!” she yelled, pointing at her eyes and the car. It pulled away, disappearing down the block.

“Well, he just jumped up my priorities list,” she grumbled, the smile leaving her face for the first time.

“I was gonna pay him a visit tomorrow.”

“Don’t kill him.”

“That’s not Plan A.”

Sliding his hands under her sweater, he cupped one of her breasts. The tension melted from her face as he kneaded her body. “Right now, Plan A is to see how many times I can make you come in twenty minutes.”

“Challenge accepted,” she purred, pushing his pants to the floor.   

Robin Wood lived in a small, well-maintained bungalow six blocks from the high school. The inside was sparsely decorated in cheap furniture from I’m Totally Normal Monthly. The warehouse plastic smell of newness still hung in the air. The kitchen drawers were full of kitchen supplies. The living room drawers were full of typical homeowner paperwork, DVDs, travel mementos, and one picture -- an old white man with his arm around a young black boy. The office was equally boring with proposals, budgets, and books on child psychology and educational theory.

It felt like a set.

In the bedroom, an old steamer trunk and a bookcase stuffed with old leather books sat at the foot of the bed. Like in his own room, the trunk was full of stakes, holy water, crossbows and any other weapon a vampire hunter would need. The extensiveness of the collection told him Wood wasn’t new to hunting -- and if he wasn’t new to hunting, maybe he knew who Buffy was.

He grabbed a book from the shelf and started reading.

After a couple of hours, keys jingled in the door. Not working late tonight. Dean listened as Wood walked around the house with the casual care of someone not suspecting an intruder. He lightly laid his finger on the trigger of his gun and aimed it at the door of the bedroom.

Wood entered the room and betraying only the slightest surprise, raised his hands. “I thought you didn’t want hang out anymore, Dean.”

“I believe in second chances. Haven’t decided yet if I want to shoot you, so I’m gonna put this gun down. You’re gonna go for the machete you keep by the door, but I already moved it. And I think you know fucking with me would hurt.”

Dean held up a book, a journal more specifically. “At first, I guessed you were a hunter with a Slayer fetish. Got all these Watcher’s journals to jerk off to. Explains why you’ve been stalking Buffy so hard.

“Then I get to this.”

He read from the first page, “‘She came back. After surviving her Cruciamentum -- while pregnant no less -- I encouraged Nikki to hide. I made all the arrangements and was ready to face the Council when they discovered the truth.

“‘But I should have known Nikki Wood couldn’t stay away from a fight. She returned with her infant son and went right back into the dark, stake in hand.

“‘Her son is sleeping soundly in a makeshift bed beside me while his mother is out saving the world. It’s not fair she was chosen. Not fair that so much will be taken from her. It is not the boy’s fault, and I fear what will become of Robin when his mother meets her inevitable end.’”

Dean snapped the book shut. “Your mother was a Slayer. So what, you have some oedipal crush on Buffy?”

“Don’t act like you know me,” Robin said through gritted teeth.

“What do you want with Buffy?”

“I’d prefer to tell her directly.”

“You’re driving. Pretty sure you know the way.”

Buffy and her boss sat alone in her kitchen. He stared at his hands with contrition. She hadn’t been sure what to make of Dean’s call telling her he was coming by with the most-likely-not-dangerous principal. “I wish you would have just told me this up front instead of acting like a creepy stalker.”

“In retrospect, I see how my research looked more unwanted ex and less detective dossier, but Slayers aren’t Girl Scouts.”

She watched two dozen Potentials practicing fighting forms in her backyard as she mulled over Wood’s story.

A Slayer had a child. A Slayer was a mother. Buffy firmly rejected certain Slayer traditions. Being alone. Being on the outskirts of society. But being childless always made sense. Even if she and the baby survived the pregnancy, she would never see it grow up. It would never remember her.

She didn’t want her four-year-old son at her funeral. She didn’t want him dedicating his life to avenging her. She didn’t want another Slayer down the line to look in his face and say, “I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

Wood sighed, “Can’t say I blame you. First Evil sounds pretty demanding.”

“Keeps me on my toes.”

Spike, his hair mussed from sleep and with dark circles under his eyes, emerged from the basement. “Sorry, I’m just ‘ere for eggs,” he mumbled.

Gabi, Cloé and Vi dashed through the kitchen, giggling. Gabi assumed her instructor’s station at the front of the group outside, while the other two found places in the crowd.

“You’re late!” Dani yelled, zeroing in on Cloé while ignoring the other two.

Cloé bowed her head, her shoulders slumping as if bracing for a blow. “I’m sorry, we --”

“I don’t care! This is life and death.” The other girls stopped their exercises and stared at the scene with a mix of embarrassment and satisfaction. “Maybe I’ll start calling you Chum because you’re not going to be good for anything other than vampire bait.”

“Hey!” Gabi snapped. “I made them late. If you want to scream at someone you and I can do it later. This isn’t helping anyone.”

Dani curled her lip in disgust as she glared at Gabi. “Look, I’m in charge here--”

“No.” Gabi rose to her full height, a head taller than Dani. “Buffy is in charge. You’re not even number two. You want to take this inside or keep training?”

Looking back at the crowd of expectant girls, Dani pointed at Cloé. “Arms up, ladies! You call that a stance?”

Wood turned away from the scene, eyebrows raised. “At least I’ve solved the mystery of the flood of transfers. I’m assuming the Winchesters forged all of their paperwork?”

Andrew stomped in. “Spike, don’t forget to wash the pan when you’re done. I had to clean all of your dishes yesterday.”

Wood pointed at the two men. “Not Potentials.”

“No! This is Spike and Andrew. The First is after them, so they’ve been living in my basement.”

“Spike and Andrew.” Wood eyed Spike’s back as the former vampire plated his food. “Buffy, does this First thing have anything to do with this goat-face seal I keep finding in the basement?”

Andrew gulped. Spike turned to look at Wood, a burning intensity in his eyes.

“Who are you?” Spike asked.

“Robin Wood, principal at Sunnydale High.” Wood extended his hand, which Spike reluctantly shook.

“Wood’s mother was a Slayer.”

“Slayers have kids?” Spike looked the new guy over with renewed interest.

“One did at least. Nikki Wood. New York. 70s,” Wood said.

“Sorry, my Slayer ‘istory’s not so good,” Spike said, grabbing a fork and taking his eggs to the basement.

With a sigh, Andrew put Spike’s dirty pan in the sink. “You’ve seen the seal?”

“Yeah, someone keeps digging it up. I found a body down there once lying on top of it.”

Andrew avoided eye contact. “What did you do with it? Asking for a friend.”

“Seeing as this is Sunnydale, I buried the kid outside of town. Last time I found the seal exposed, I covered it in concrete, reburied it, piled supplies on it, and had the door welded shut.”

“Thorough,” said Buffy, relieved Lucifer wasn’t going to be able to pull any more Turok-Han from the Hellmouth. At least not soon. “You know if you want to help…”

“Much as I want to spend more time with teenagers, I think I’ll stick to searching for the vampire who killed my mom.”

“You’re certain it’s in Sunnydale?”

“Absolutely. Tell you what. I’ll lift Sam’s suspension. Not like I could have found a replacement librarian in the middle of the year anyway. What’s their deal, by the way? I couldn’t find anything on the Winchesters.”

Buffy chuckled. “The Winchesters are a different kind of wild story. If you want to know, come back and ask them yourself. After you figure out how to get on their good side.”

Spike leaned forward over the utility sink to get a closer look at himself in the mirror. He’d forgotten what he looked like. Too angular for Victorian sensibilities, but handsome for the modern day.

Hadn’t that been the entire problem? William Pratt was always too something for his neighbors, his mother, his adored. Too meek. Too earnest. Too emotional. William Pratt did not belong.

Now wasn’t much better. He wasn’t a vampire, but was he a man? He was stronger than average. A little faster.

Before Drusilla had turned him, he’d written longhand ledgers, a human calculator. What was he supposed to do now? Wash sheets at the Motor Inn, saving to get a crumby apartment? Worry about his cholesterol and toenail fungus? Not think about the murders he’d gladly committed?

No, whatever was in the mirror wasn’t a man.

“What are you doing?” Andrew asked.

His voice startled Spike, who’d been so absorbed in his reflection, he hadn’t noticed the arrival of his roommate. “I was just marveling at wot a ‘andsome devil I am. Cheekbones.”

“Some guys have it all,” Andrew said with a sigh as he settled onto his cot.

“Is that guy gone? Big black fellow?”

“Yeah, he left a while ago. Didn’t seem too happy.”

“Right, well, I guess I’ll see to that...thing that needs seeing,” Spike said, heading upstairs.

Buffy stood on the back porch, overseeing Dani and Gabi leading the Potentials in a series of martial arts exercises. Spike didn’t know much of trained fighting. Seemed to take the fun out of it, especially when it came to fighting a disciplined, organized, knowledgeable Slayer, the ultimate test of improvisation.

He decided to leave out the front door, but Sam and Dean were in the driveway repairing the Impala. Spike hadn’t seen the car after Buffy wrecked it, but from the stories, he was surprised it wasn’t in a junkyard.

“Hey, Spike,” Sam called, waving him over.

Dean rose from where he’d been crouched by the front fender. “Hit it, Sammy.”

Sam flipped the knob to check one turn signal then the other. Dean gave a thumbs up before disappearing in front of the car again.

“How’re you doing?” Sam asked.

At one point in the underground church, Sam had lost hope and began to confess his darkest deeds. He’d hunted down a demon named Lilith. “I wanted revenge because she’d killed Dean, but Dean was back, so it was really about me, wasn’t it? My power. My abilities. Me saving the day.”

“Did you kill the bitch?”

Sam had chuckled, a thin wheeze, at the question. “You know what I had to do to get strong enough to kill Lilith? I killed and drank a demon possessed pediatric nurse. I drank until she turned ashen. I drank until my stomach strained, and I told myself, ‘Greater good, right?’”

“You’re making me hungry.”

“Wanna know the irony? Me killing Lilith, that’s what unleashed Lucifer.”

And now Sam, far from the brink of death, sat in his brother’s car testing turn signals. A not-so-innocent human with demon-blood tainted veins.

Spike opened the back door and slipped into the back seat. He almost missed the blood lust. His demon had guided him, amping up his every dark impulse for over a century. Without it, he had all of the baggage of someone he knew and no idea where he was going. But he didn’t want to go back. “I feel like I just woke up from a coma, but it’s ‘alloween and I’m in a blimey gorilla costume.”

Sam squinted at him, confused. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Metaphor needs work. Point is, I feel a little out of sorts with just myself rattling around up there.”

“It’ll take some getting used to.”

“Does anyone ever get used to humanity?” Spike asked, twisting his lips in a smirk to cover his sincerity.

“No,” said Sam quietly. “Some voices and faces always haunt you.”

“Like the nurse?”

Sam looked away in shame. They may both be killers, but only one of them had ever been proud of it. “Her husband never even knew what happened.”

“But sorry doesn’t change the past, no matter ‘ow many lives we get, does it?”

“No.”

“But life is just living, isn’t it?” Spike said. “The pain, the sex, the shame, the victories, they’re all part of the package.”

Finished with training, the Potentials began to flood the front yard, doing cartwheels and chasing each other. Enjoying the last bit of sun before nightfall forced them inside.

Giant grin plastered on his face, Dean sauntered around the car. “Baby’s ready to roll, Sammy.” His grin faded a bit when he saw Spike. “Dude, you’re practically glowing. It’s like you haven’t seen the sun in a century.”

Spike sighed. “Look out, George Carlin. A new wit has arrived.”

Dean shrugged. “We hid the beer in the cooler if you want one.” He left them to pick up his tools.

Sam smiled, soft and concerned, at Spike. “One day at a time. It’s going to be hard and weird, but I’m here for you. Call me if you feel like doing anything stupid.”

Spike was about to do something stupid. He paced in the pool of a street light in front of the little green bungalow. He wished he had a cigarette, but trying to smoke made him cough, his lungs burn. After sunset, he’d had a beer or three to convince himself his idea wasn’t suicidal.

What he did know with certainty: William Pratt would not have come. William Pratt would have wrung his hands, written at length, then waited in hiding until his mother handled the problem.

Damning evidence in hand, Spike would confront this head on.

He knocked on the door. Robin Wood answered immediately as if he’d been waiting on Spike to call. “I heard about your mum, and I, uh, I have information about her.”

Wood nodded slowly. “Meet me in the back, okay?”

New York in the 1970s had stunk of piss and cheap cigarettes. Between horny business men looking for fun in Times Square and a flood of punks wandering in and out of clubs, it was an easy meal. Not even having a Slayer in town did much to stem the tide of deaths.

Behind Wood’s house stood a dark garage with the door ajar. Spike peeked inside. “‘ello?”

It hadn’t taken Spike long to hunt down New York’s Slayer. Tall and lithe, Nikki moved with the grace and force of a prize fighter, exposing bone with her fists, sending teeth flying into the night. Spike watched her as she killed standard vampires without breaking a sweat. Once she tangled with two members of the Sisterhood of Jhe, throwing one into the other, impaling them at the same time when they were trapped in a dumpster. He was going to enjoy dancing with her.

A sting in his neck. Spike spun on his heels and knocked a shadow back against the garage door frame. Feeling woozy, he raised his fists.

Spike and Nikki had fought in the park a week before, a congenial how-do-you-do sort of fight. When he caught her in the subway, empty but for a few late-night party kids puking their guts out, he knew she was tired and ready to fold. With a smile on his face, he’d snapped her neck.

The door slid closed. Wood chuckled, “Feeling a little sick? My own mix. A little sedative and a little holy water.” The light blazed on, highlighting the cross-covered walls.

Wood, slipping on a pair of brass knuckles, stood between Spike and the door. “Oh, did you think I didn’t know you, Spike? British punk trash. About a hundred and forty. Lately, spotted with the Slayer. Strange since he killed two, including my mother.”

Spike dodged a punch. He may not be a vampire anymore, but he was still oddly quick. “What’s the plan then? Kill me and mummy comes back to you?”

They circled each other. A jab. A weave. The formerly cool principal was practically rippling with rage.

Wood lunged. Spike grabbed his arm and swung him into a table, knocking the air from him.

“She didn’t say anything when I killed her. No begging. No pleading. No final thoughts of you.”

“She died a hero, unlike you,” Wood growled.

“Maybe we died the same,” Spike said, ignoring the threat in Wood’s voice. “Alone, in the dark, running away from people who cared about us. Is that what bothers you most? Mummy’s good and dead because she kept picking us over you.”

Wood shouted, picked up a set of throwing knives, and began to use him for target practice.  Thunk! The first blade hit the wall close to Spike’s head.

Thunk!

The sedative was pulling Spike down, his limbs rubber, his vision blurry. He twisted trying to dodge the knives, but one grazed his side, another cut into his arm.

Thunk! Thunk!

Once the knives were all stuck in the wall behind him, Spike dove at the principal’s legs. They rolled on the ground, trading punches. Spike jabbed Wood with his elbow and landed a cracking blow to his ribs.

“Show me your real face!” Wood screamed, rolling on top of Spike, hitting him over and over. Spike could feel his flesh tearing, the blood spilling out as vengeance pummeled his face and body.

Using every bit of strength the drugs had left him, Spike pushed Wood off and grabbed a cross from the wall.

Nothing happened.

Wood stared, dumbfounded. “But the Watcher’s diaries --”

“Were right,” Spike said, pointing to a plastic grocery bag he’d dropped by the door. “I killed your mum. Came here to apologize. But then you were a twat so I didn’t.”

Holding his breath and with his eyes still on Spike, Wood knelt down to open the bag. Inside was a long leather coat. His mother’s coat.

The garage door slid open. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” yelled Buffy.

The principal, bleeding from a cut above his eye, rose and glared at Buffy. “This doesn’t involve you, Slayer.”

“You beat up one of my friends, you bet it involves me,” she said through gritted teeth.

Wood snorted, eyeing Spike with disgust as he slowly found his footing. “Friend? Do you even know what he is?”

“The vampire part or the killed your mom part? Yeah, I figured it out.”

Eyeing Spike with a little more curiosity than loathing, Wood asked, “Is he a vampire?”

“Was,” Spike said, trying and failing to stand. “You missed filling your life-long vengeance quest by about two days.”

“There’s -- there’s a cure?” Wood asked quietly.

“Only for very good boys.” Spike spit blood and grinned.

“Are you listening? Because I want to know if you can follow the simplest of instructions.” Buffy asked, her arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury. “ But here’s the thing, Robin, even if Spike were still a monster, he’d still be more of a man than you.”

Wood’s jaw flexed, his eyes dark and cold. “You don’t--”

“Did I say you could talk? If you come around me and mine again, I recommend crawling on your hands and knees.” Buffy helped Spike up and lead him outside.

“What were you thinking coming here?” she asked, shifting to support more of his weight.

The cold air sucked at the sweat and blood coating Spike’s skin sending a quick shiver through him. “You really think I’m a man now?”

“Well, Jeffrey Dahmer was a man, so the bar is low.” Buffy stopped and gazed at him. The moonlight glistened in her eyes as she gently touched the bruises on his face. “Do you think you’re not?”

“Thought making amends would be a good first step.” He held his breath while he took in the angles of her nose, her large sad eyes, the fluttering kiss of her fingers.

“You tried to kill me,” she said softly. “Then you helped me save the world. And now look at you with your soul without your demon. You’ve survived more and grown more than most men could dream.”

She shook her head sharply, the trance broken, and continued walking him down the block. “We need to get you patched up. Infections are totally a thing.”

He still craved her touch. “‘ow’d you know where I was?”

“Sam thought you were acting weird. I followed you.”

Spike hoped they weren’t walking far. As the fight drained out of him, the pain grew, his head throbbing, knuckles aching, one ankle sharp. “What do you think’s out there for an ex-vampire? Side show freakery?”

“You know what I want for you?” she asked. “I want you to find someone who could just know William Pratt, the man who has sacrificed himself for love over and over. Sometimes stupidly. Sometimes selfishly. Often perfectly.”

“You a fan of Pratt, then?”

Buffy shook her head. “Not for me, William. Be that man for her, whoever she is.”

With the stomach-churning taste of blood on his tongue, he chuckled. “You think love is in the cards for me?”

She half-smiled. “You’ve been a vampire, captured by the government, and been to Hell. I think you’re due for something good.”

They turned the corner where Dean was waiting in the freshly repaired Impala. Spike sighed but said nothing.

Buffy still picked up on his let-down. “You smell like a vampire Happy Meal. Probably better we don’t walk through town. You can crash at Dean’s. We don’t need the the girls knowing their principal beat up Crazy Basement Guy.”

“Is that what they call me?”

“Also Mystery Guy and Andrew’s Roommate.”

Spike slapped his hand over his heart in mock horror and climbed in the backseat of the Impala.

Read Giles’ dossiers on: Lili    Alma   Dani    Vi    Cloé      Molly     Lys     Grace    Wook    Keisha    Leticia     Naomi   Kate    Gabi   Jabulela

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[spookierswamp]

@questforsims tagged me in this questionnaire thing bc he knows they’re my favorite lmao, answers under the read more....

DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? I'm literally terrified of people who can sleep with closet doors open like... do you fear nothing...?

DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? nah I usually end up using them all lmao

DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? untucked

HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? not a street sign I guess but one time when I was 15 I was recovering from a party at a friends house in the middle of like, the Scottish nowherseville countryside and like 6am that morning we went out to take a walk and smoke and we ended up taking one of those roadworks signs back to her house for some reason... it was dumb lmao

DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? heck yeah there's a wall in my room that's just post-it notes lmao it calms me

DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? we don't rly have coupon culture as much here but I probably would if I lived in America...

WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? they don't allow you to have bees in here

DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? no and thank goodness bc if I had freckles I'd be... too cute.... too powerful

DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? like... in group photos sure but if it's a selfie I almost never smile lmao

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? loud/messy eaters tbh

DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah I used to go on long hikes/walks in the forest and I'd be out for hours and like I'd take one of those pedometers w/ me and I'd feel so fuckin validated when I saw it get to 10,000 lmao...

HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? y'all foolin if you been out in the woods and you said you haven't tbh

HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? ok this is gross nevermind

DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERE’S NO MUSIC PLAYING? nah but if you put a bop on i'll immediately start dancing

DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? part of me is like 'nah that's p gross' but yeah i probably do

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? just one lmao

WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? like... it can fit me + another fully grown man so it's pretty big i guess

WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? So Emotional by Whitney Houston

IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? I literally wear pink every day of my life you stupid bitch

DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yeah but not like... with the intensity some of y'all do... i really liked Gravity Falls especially 

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? most disney movies tbh... I'll never get the appeal of them as a genre lmao... special shoutout to Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for being absolute fucking garbage though

WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? I probably wouldn't even have time to hide it cause I'd immediately lose it somewhere lmao

WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? honestly it depends on what dinner is? mostly I'll drink soda or wine

WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? mustard, ketchup, bbq sauce, ranch

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? takoyaki! i also love any and all mexican food

WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? there's literally... so many... lmao... Fire Walk With Me, The Birdcage, Scream, Wet Hot American Summer, Blair Witch Project, Donnie Darko, The Craft (like.. semi-ironically but I do love it lmao)

LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a boy but he's lame so he won't be named here lmao

WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nah I always thought boy scouts were dumb but as an adult I kinda wish I'd been a part of something like that

WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? what kinda magazine....

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? me and my ex-boyfriend used to write letters to each other all the time! so probably like, last year

CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nah, I've legit never even driven more than once lmao....

EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? ... the one time I drove around it was in an abandoned parking lot and my then-boyfriend was sitting next to me with one hand on the steering wheel it was fun...

EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? .... i almost hit another car that was doing the same thing but i didn't and i was so proud of myself lmao

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meatball sub... or like.... steak & cheese

BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? pancakes, coffee, hashbrowns and/or a breakfast taco, at least two kolaches

WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? midnight or whenever i pass out after work

ARE YOU LAZY? yea

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? aw heck so many things! Vampires have always been a big thing for me tho and I was both Spike and Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer multiple times lmao

WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? I can never remember which one but either dog or pig

HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? I can barely speak my first language lmao but I can bluff my way thru German and I've made half-assed attempts at learning Russian, Japanese and Icelandic before...

DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? legos you dumb bitch

ARE YOU STUBBORN? sure

WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? whoms't?

EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? British soaps are genuinely class but I never rly keep up w/ them, also telenovelas are amazing and important...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah I love heights! I was afraid of them as a kid but ask any of my friends/boyfriends and they'll tell you I'm always trying to get people to go to the top of stuff lmao

DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? only during inebriated night-time road adventures

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? pretty much constantly lmao

DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? like... how?

EVER USED A GUN? honestly I've never even touched a gun lmao

LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? uuh high school I reckon

DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? yeah of course who doesn’t

IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? very

EVER EAT A PIEROGI? no but it feels like my kind of shit

FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? (dale cooper voice) cherry pie

OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? painter or director, something artistic or whatever, maybe something with computers I always figured I’d be good at

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah I love ghosts they're all my good pals

EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? yeah and I'll do things multiple times in a row just out of not paying attention lmao

DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? yeah I take an A-Z multivit and cod liver oil usually

DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah they make my feet too damn warm boy

DO YOU WEAR A BATHROBE? nah but when I'm a guest in a hotel w/ somebody I'm always claiming dibs on the complementary bathrobe lmao

WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? if it's cold I'll wear like a t-shirt or something

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? I went to a bunch of festivals and free concerts and stuff as a tiny lil' baby ten year old but the first one I went to without parents was probably like... Fall Out Boy? or another band from my 2007 - 2009 emo phase lmao

WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? the only thing I learned when I was in America was that Walmart is both haunted and cursed, Target is The Promised Land and Kmart is a sensory hallucination

NIKE OR ADIDAS? Adidas.... also I like the new adidas NHL kits sue me....

CHEETOS OR FRITOS? the first time I had Fritos it was with a bean dip and I almost barfed so definitely Cheetos lmao

PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? both are gross whatever

EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no but they sound very good

EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? nah

IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? handsome genius/hockey player

CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? heck yeah

EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? I legit don't think we have those here but I definately would have if I competed because I was the best damn speller in my class

HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? I laugh-cry more than anything tbh

OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah I used to have a record player and I've bought a bunch of records as gifts for people but like I download all my music anyway so I'm 2 lazy 2 cheap lmao

OWN A RECORD PLAYER? ^

DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah but I love candles

EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah but honestly once was enough lmao

WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? literally one of my only goals in life is to see Bjork live before she quits music or I die lmao... also Math the Band (again), Anamanaguchi, Mac Demarco, The Mountain Goats...

WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? not like a concert I guess but I went to see Kim Chi perform in February and it was lit

HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? like... Iced Tea? the way this is worded is disgusting lmao I'll go with hot tea

TEA OR COFFEE? I literally make coffee every single fucking day of my life @ work and like... not only do I now hate it I hate anyone who drinks it lmao

SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? what the fuck does this mean

CAN YOU SWIM WELL? yeah!

CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yeah!

ARE YOU PATIENT? yeah!

DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? I'm not the kind of person to have friends who are in bands and not ask them to play at my wedding lmao also wedding DJ's are always weird old men

EVER WON A CONTEST? yeah I've won like.. talent shows and stupid semi-academic shit like that but nothing super cool

HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah but no question i'd absolutely get it

WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? green

CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? nah but i can kind of sew

BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? every room but only if you live in a log cabin or some shit

DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? yeah but like, not for the sake of being married? 

IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? ^

WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH? aw man I threw a lot of time and energy into dating boys in high school but like... my biggest crushes were always unattainable and short-lived lmao so no-one notable...

DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? god honestly any single one of my friends/previous boyfriends will tell you I throw tantrums over literally anything lmao... I usually act pretty stable and emotionally mature but when I'm comfortable with people I'll fuck shit up for no reason lmao

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nah

DO YOU WANT KIDS? I'm way too self-centered and emotionally unavailable for any of that shit right now lmao but in like 10 years I'd be open to it for sure

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? forest green, goth purples, black, pink, also what can only be described as like, Nickelodeon slime green

DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? uhhhh pass

WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? nobody! it's like, 100 questions long and I don't feel comfortable that tagging any of you won't be annoying lmao but if you wanna do this msg me and I'll tag you in it! ! ! ! 

[sulietsexual]

LOVED your take on The Freshman, amazing meta as usual and I agree it's such an underrated episode. I can't believe you didn't mention the umbrella though! Also... since you were going to do Becoming... is it too much to ask for it now? I know I'm greedy... :)

ShortOpinion: Noother ship will ever tear me apart the way Bangel does

LongOpinion: BeforeThe Gift came along and stole my heart, Becoming was my favourite seasonfinale, and my favourite episode of BtVS. There is so much to love about thisdouble episode, as it so beautifully showcases Buffy becoming the Slayer, Angelbecoming a vampire and Buffy becoming strong enough to defeat Angel. Bringingthe Angelus arc to a close, while exploring themes of identity, destiny andself-preservation, Becoming is everything a season finale should be and playsthe emotional angle for all its worth.

While I understand how and whysome fans find Angel first seeing Buffy when she is so young creepy andunsettling, I also understand what the writers were trying to portray, showingAngel at his lowest and most desolate and demonstrating how, even before sheknew him, Buffy gave him hope enough to turn his life around, to become a partof something bigger. Whistler sending Angel to Buffy was never supposed to comeacross as stalkery (which it unfortunately does, to a certain extent – althoughnot the extent some fans try to make it out to be) but rather, was supposedshow that Angel sees more to Buffy than she sees in herself, and that heempathises with her loneliness and isolation (a running theme in Buffy andAngel’s relationship).

In the present day, we see Buffyand Willow finally discover the floppy disk (omg, BtVS really showsits age sometimes) containing the spell to re-ensoul Angel and Buffy makes thedecision to have Willow perform the spell. I want to take a moment to talkabout this decision, as I have long wanted to talk about the good oldSpike-fandom argument about Angelus having his soul forced upon him vs Spikeseeking his soul. No, I’m not going to talk about Angel vs. Spike, but rather,Buffy’s agency and autonomy regarding the two vampires receiving their souls.

As just pointed out, Buffy herselfis the one who chooses to re-ensoul Angel. She makes the decision togive Angel back his soul, thereby decided for herself that she is ready to haveAngel back, ready to accept him back into her life, to forgive him and to tryto move on. She makes this decision, using her own autonomy and agency.However, when Spike gets his soul back, he does so without Buffy’s knowledge oracceptance and he therefore forces her into a position she was not readyfor nor had decided she wanted. Spike getting his soul back actually takes awayBuffy’s agency, as it forces her to forgive him, forces her to accept him backinto her life, probably before she was ready to, whereas because Buffy choseto have Angel re-ensouled, she wasn’t forced into a position of forgivenessagainst her will. But I digress.

Becoming contains some wonderfulcharacterisation for not only Buffy and Angel, but most of the other maincharacters too. Willow’s Start of Darkness actually has its beginnings as earlyas this episode, as she insists on casting the re-ensouling spell, mentioningthat she has been researching the Dark Arts for “educational fun”. That rightthere, is a huge red warning sign, showing that Willow is already at this earlystage delving into magics she’s not ready to handle. When she eventuallysucceeds in casting the spell, the power she channels is a clear indicator of justhow much latent power Willow has residing inside her. Jenny previouslymentioned that the magics used to re-ensoul Angel were lost, even to herpeople, yet Willow, a seventeen-year-old girl who has never attempted magicbefore, somehow manages to channel enough power to cast a spell which is over acentury old. If this isn’t an indicator of Willow’s darker path and subsequentpower thirst, I don’t know what it. It’s actually quite alarming, when onethinks about it.

Xander too gets some goodcharacterisation, despite him not coming off so well in this episode. I’vespoken about it before and Lord knows I will speak about it until the day Idie, but despite his asshole-ish tendencies, I really believe that there issomething deeper at play with Xander regarding Angel being re-ensouled andreceiving a second chance, and that something is Jesse’s death. When Jesse –someone whom Xander knew for years and cared for deeply – was turned, no oneever mentioned the possibility of redemption or change for Jesse. Instead,Xander was told, in no uncertain terms, that Jesse was gone and that the demonwho wore his face must be killed. Xander was then the one to actuallykill Jesse. I cannot stress enough how much of an impact this would have had onXander, the trauma he probably felt, and his only rationalization was thatvampires were evil and therefore Jesse was evil and he, Xander, had no choicebut to kill him.

Then, along comes Angel, thevampire with a soul, the man Buffy loves, allowed to live, allowed to be amember of the Scoobie gang. And Xander thinks, why wasn’t his friend allowedthe same chance, why wasn’t Jesse saved the same way Angel was. But Xander,despite what the fandom believes, actually does tolerate Angel while he has asoul (“Angel’s our friend! Except I don’t like him.”) Then Angel loses hissoul, and he becomes the demon that Xander was told Jesse was, yet Buffydoesn’t kill him, doesn’t hunt him. No one is pushing Buffy to kill him. And soXander sees the unfairness in this, the injustice of him having to kill hisbest friend but Buffy not only allowing Angelus to live, but offering him asecond chance. So he acts like a dick, throws Jenny’s death in Buffy’s face andutters the “Kick his ass” line. Because he never got over Jesse’s death, andbeing so young and immature, can’t see the bigger picture, only the injustice.And that’s why, after many years, I have been able to forgive Xander’s actionsin this episode.

Becoming showcases not only thecharacters’ emerging development, but also the development and stages of all ofthe romantic relationships. Willow’s and Oz’s relationship is shown to begetting deeper and more involved, as she calls out for Oz upon waking in thehospital, despite Xander’s declaration of love just moments before. Xander andCordelia embrace and kiss with genuine tenderness and affection, for probablythe first time this season, showing that their relationship is slowly evolvingbeyond that of a purely physical one. Giles’ relationship with Jenny is alsotouched upon, through Drusilla’s manipulations, showing how much Giles stillloves and grieves her (Giles’ torture is one of the few things I will neverforgive Angelus for, and I will always stand behind Giles and his attitudetowards Angel, even after Angel is re-ensouled). But the true emotional crux ofthis episode belongs to Buffy and Angel, and the tragic climax of the episodewhich sees Buffy having to kill Angel to save the world.

Ever since Angel turned intoAngelus, Buffy has spent her time building towards a mind frame wherein shewill be able to kill him (and failing miserably at that). Despite the fact thatAngelus is almost completely different to Angel, Buffy still can’t see past theface of her former lover, and time and again she lets Angelus go when sheeasily could have killed him. However, the dire circumstances in this episodefinally push her to the point where she is able to kill Angelus, and she goesinto the final fight ready to do what needs to be done.

Which is why it is all the moretragic when Angel is re-ensouled mere moments before Buffy is about tokill him. The horror and devastation on Buffy’s face as she realises what’shappened says it all. She went to the mansion to kill the demon wearing herformer lover’s face, not to end the man she loves with all her heart. Herresolve and dedication to saving the world is heartbreaking, as she tearfullytells Angel to close his eyes, before driving the sword through him. Sarah’sacting in this scene is phenomenal, as she portrays Buffy’s grief and horror atwhat she’s been forced to do. It’s interesting that at this point in theseries, Buffy is willing to sacrifice Angel to save the world, but by Season 5,she has become so broken by everything she’s faced that she is unable tosacrifice Dawn, choosing instead to let the world burn. It definitely says a lotabout Buffy’s mental state and how broken down and fractured her psyche becomesover the following seasons, and if we’re honest, this was probably the start ofit all, this first time her Slaying affected her on such a deep and personallevel.

I could honestly write so muchmore about this episode, given that I haven’t even really touched on Kendra’sdeath, or the flashbacks involving Drusilla and Angelus, not to mention Darla’sreappearance, but I believe I’ve rambled for long enough. All up, Becoming is agreat episode, definitely on of BtVS’s best. Well-written, beautifully acted,nicely paced and containing one of the most tragic climaxes of the series,Becoming deserves to be remembered as one of the greatest episodes of theWhedonverse.

[tialovestelevision]

The Gift

Season closer. I think I’m ready for this. Go, Joss, and bestow upon me season closer goodness.

1. Previously On covers pretty much the entire show up until now. Makes sense; the show had effectively been cancelled when this was made. It got picked back up by UPN, but for a bit it looked like there might be no more Buffy. Guy is running away, hits a dead end. Vampire comes around the corner behind him. He asks the vampire not to hurt him. Then Buffy opens a door. The guy asks Buffy to call the police. The vampire doesn’t know who she is. Buffy snarks. He doesn’t know what the Slayer is at all. She breaks his leg. He’s got some fight in him. Some, but not all that much. He press slams Buffy on a dumpster but she starts kicking his ass. Then she stakes him. She’s surprised the vampire didn’t know her. She sends the guy home. “How’d you do that?” “It’s what I do.” “But you’re just a girl.” “That’s what I keep saying.” Opening credits no Tara.

2. Buffy comes back into the meeting. They’re discussing how to fight Glory. Buffy tells Giles to go through the ritual again. Tara says she has places to be. Xander asks why it’s blood. Spike knows it has to be blood, because blood is life. He makes an erection reference. Everyone is scared of Buffy and Giles, because they’re terrifying when on this topic, for good reason. Buffy says that Dawn was made by the monks out of her - there’s a deep connection there. Willow asks Buffy not to have another coma. Giles says that if Buffy tries to protect Dawn, she’ll fail and die and so will everyone else. Tara is happy about the idea of turning Glory into a toad. Xander bothered himself by suggesting that they kill Ben. Willow suggests that they don’t have to kill Glory. Anya remembers the Dagon sphere. And Olaf’s hammer, which is the hammer of a god. They have to find Glory. Tara has to be there.

3. Ben approaches Dawn and tells her she has to put on a ceremonial robe. Dawn doesn’t want to see Ben, because he betrayed her. So she summons Glory. Ben: “Whatcha got against old Benji?” Dawn: “He’s a monster. At least you’re up front about it.” Glory says that Buffy’s probably not going to show, and if she does she might be there to kill Dawn.

4. Buffy is hitting the bag. Giles asks if she’s sure she’s not going to tire herself out. They’re waiting, so that they can have a better chance of making Glory miss her window. Giles says that Buffy must hate him him, but he’s sworn to protect the world. That sometimes, that means saying and doing things others can’t, and shouldn’t have to. Buffy tells him she won’t let him hurt Dawn; he knows. Buffy asks how many apocalypses this is; Giles says six. Buffy’s always won, and sacrificed Angel to save the world. She knew she was right, but she doesn’t have that any more. She doesn’t know how to live with these choices. “I just wish that… I just wish my mom was here.” She’s telling Giles about what the guide told her. If Dawn dies, Buffy is quitting.

5. Dawn has put the dress on. Everything is prepared. They’re taking Dawn up on the scaffolding that the people who Glory ate built.

6. Anya and Xander were having sex when they were supposed to be finding the Dagon sphere. Anya is terrified again. They found the Buffy robot. Anya found a bunny. Anya wants to run away, but she loves her friends and can’t. And Xander’s proposing. They really need the Dagon sphere. She slapped him. He is sweet and reassuring. When did he learn to do that? They’re now engaged. Anya says to give her the ring when the world doesn’t end.

7. Willow has ideas. Buffy points out that Willow is the only one to ever hurt Glory. Willow thinks she can reverse Glory’s eating people, which would both cure Tara and hurt Glory. Tara slaps Willow, then apologizes. Willow promises she’s going to bring Tara back.

8. Buffy and Spike are going to get weapons. Buffy has to invite Spike in. She does. Buffy says that not everybody’s going to make it. She’s counting on Spike to protect Dawn.She’s going upstairs for a minute. Spike: “I know you never loved me. I know I’m a monster. But you treat me like a man.”

9. Dawn is barefoot and tied up on the scaffolding. Glory will come to her soon.

10. It’s time to go. Everything is ready. Willow asks if there’s somewhere she should be. Tara’s going. She calls Giles a killer. If the ritual starts, everyone dies. Everyone has a job. Giles: “We few. We happy few.” Spike: “We band of buggered.”

11. Tara is picking at her cast. The others are following at a short distance. They found Glory’s tower. Buffy says that Willow is up. Willow could use a little courage; Spike offers her a drink. Tara has the cast off and is helping with the building. Glory is surprised to see Tara; moreso to see Willow, who grabs both her and Tara and breaks something about Glory. Glory needs a brain, and sees Buffy. She wants to eat Buffy’s mind.

12. Buffy throws the Dagon sphere at Glory. Now Glory is fighting Buffy. Spike and the others are killing Glory’s minions. This fight is going badly for the bad guys so far. Dawn is on the tower, watching the fight. Buffy has Glory rather on the ropes for a moment. Willow and Tara are recovering from the spell Willow cast. Tara’s better. “I got so lost.” “I found you. I will always find you.”

13. Glory punches Buffy’s head off… and it’s a robot. “Did anybody else know the Slayer was a robot?” Then the real Buffy shows up and clobbers Glory with the hammer. Hard. Glory has to struggle her way up. Glory and Buffy are fighting on the tower. Buffy just dropped her hammer. It’s hanging from a chain. Buffy gets the hammer back and both she and Glory fall from the tower. Glory is moving slowly. “You lost your hammer, sweet cheeks. What are you going to hit me with now?” Xander hits her with a wrecking ball. And.. lizard guy is on top of the tower. Dawn now knows that he worships Glory. And he has a knife.

14. Spike sees that there’s someone on top of the tower. Willow sends Spike up by throwing Glory’s minions with magic. The lizard guy is named Doc. Doc just used superspeed and stabbed Spike. Buffy is outfighting Glory at this point. Doc, however, beat Spike and threw him off the tower. Buffy beats Glory with the hammer for a few moments, but she turns into Ben. Giles comes over to ask Ben if he can move. Ben: “She could have killed me.” Giles: “No, she couldn’t. Not ever. And sooner or later, Glory will reemerge, and make Buffy pay for that mercy, and the world with her. Buffy even knows that, and still she couldn’t take a human life. She’s a hero, you see. She’s not like us.” Then he murders Ben. That was… sweet and wise and deeply, deeply disturbing.

15. But Doc is cutting Dawn open. Little cuts. Buffy throws Doc off the tower, but the portal is opening. Dawn says that it’s started. The portal is opening holes in the world. Turning things into Hell. Anya saves Xander from falling bricks but gets hit. Dawn is ready to give her life up. “I have to stop it.” Buffy won’t let her jump. A dragon just came out of the portal. “You know you have to let me.” Buffy remembers Spike talking about blood, herself talking about what Dawn is, the First Slayer talking about her gift. Dawn tells her not to go. Buffy tells Dawn something we don’t get to hear. Kisses her cheek. Turns, runs, and jumps. “Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do.” The portal closes, and the sun starts to rise. Tara is holding Willow up. “Tell Giles… tell Giles that I figured it out. And I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing about this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.”

“Beloved sister. Devoted friend. She saved the world. A lot.”

Overall: I’m not crying. You’re crying. My computer is crying. Everything except me is crying.

There’s a lot to talk about here. I’ll start with the obvious and go from there.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is often spoken of as a feminist show. It is. It’s spoken of as a show about women who have power. It is very much that. But what it isn’t is a show about a protagonist with control over her own destiny. Slayers die - this is established from the very start. Buffy never had a choice about that. She was going to die, and she was going to die violently. Spike, however, when describing the two Slayers he killed, made clear that she did have one choice - how it would happen. What she would die for.

A vampire can’t kill the Slayer. A demon can’t kill the Slayer. A god probably can, but not when that Slayer is properly supported and equipped - I’ll note here that Buffy didn’t just delay or slow or hamper Glory; she beat her, and in an almost one-sided fashion. Willow’s spell, Xander’s wrecking ball, and her own combat prowess and Olaf’s hammer all helped her, but she could have kept hitting Glory until Glory had no juice at all left, and she could have gone right back to hitting her when she recharged a bit while hiding inside Ben. She won that fight.

A Slayer chooses when and how she dies, either by giving up, like the Slayers before Buffy did, or by finding something that is worth dying for and choosing to be the one who dies for it. And the Slayer always dies in violence.

“She saved the world. A lot.” And she saved the girl. She did what she came to do.

That leads right into “Tough Love,” and why Buffy’s death was touching and heartfelt and honest and Tara’s was a godawful moment of terribleness. Yeah, I know Tara wasn’t killed, but… well, she was, and the fact that there’s someone stumbling around for the next three episodes with her face doesn’t really change that. Here’s the thing:

Buffy died in service to her own story. Tara was eaten in service to Willow’s and Buffy’s.

Buffy’s death was about Buffy. It told us who she is, what exactly the line for her is on what she’s willing to die for and what she’s willing to kill for and who she’s willing to kill to get it. The value, in her mind, of her own life and the world and that one girl. Buffy held agency in the moment - and is set up as a contrast to Ben, who has that same sort of agency and that same choice to make and chooses selfishly, chooses to kill someone else to protect himself. Tara, on the other hand, is grabbed by accident, tortured, and driven out of her own mind with no agency at all. It doesn’t tell us who she is. That Glory is so obviously both hungry and dishonest takes what little illusion of choice there is - the idea that she could have saved herself by betraying Dawn - and strips that away. Then her body and what little of her is still in it are used to out Dawn to Glory anyway, less than a half-hour of screentime later.

Buffy chooses a noble self-sacrifice rather than let an innocent die or allow the world to be devoured. Tara is fridged.

Hm. What else? Ah, yes. Giles. I’ve mentioned that I adore Anthony Stewart Head, right? Because I do. In this story, and especially this episode, we see him composed and panicked. kind and wicked, the mentor and the murderer. We understand, after seeing just what the Council is, precisely why he was given this job in the first place - he has a ruthlessness at his core that might have been covered over by years of peaceful study and by his love of the people around him,but it is essential to who he is, and when it is needed it comes to the surface. Buffy will give her life to save Dawn and the world; Giles will give a bit of his soul to keep Buffy safe and to keep her from having to commit murder. And, regardless of how guilty Ben is, it is murder - he is helpless, his body broken, his strength gone, and Glory is shattered within him.

Spike was great here too. I don’t have that much to say about him - he’s a vampire, he’s found a way to focus his obsessions away from where they have been before and toward maintaining his dignity. “You treat me like a man.” That’s what he’s chosen as his selfish desire, because he IS an inherently selfish being, and it allows him to function in the world the Initiative’s chip has forced him into. This is the best portrayal of him so far. It does not improve my opinion of the Buffy/Spike arc, but it does improve his ability to be part of the show’s entertainment value and makes him more interesting.

I need to watch a few more episodes to write about Xander. Anya gets a brief moment of deliberate self-sacrifice here, as well. Willow… she fixed the robot. She cast the spell. This was an episode about her power, or would have been if it wasn’t about Buffy’s sacrifice. About the potential of her power for good, about what it means to be a scientist and a mage in one person, about what urgent and selfless love can give someone the ability to do. This is Willow’s great shining moment.

Would I say “The Gift” is worth dealing with the three episodes before it? No. They’re really bad. Well, two are really bad, and one is infuriatingly mediocre. But “The Gift” is great in and of itself. Is it the best season finale? I’d give that to “Graduation Day.” But it might be the second best so far.