#rant review

[ur-mousey]

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Hey, I'm Sydney ♡ 20 ♡ She/Her ♡

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[checkoutmybookshelf]

That Could Have Been An Email...

Y'all...I wanted this book to be good. The dragons are spectacularly done and bursting with personality, there is just enough that is interesting in the worldbuilding that I wanted clarity on the information we already had and more new information. I wanted the characters to outgrow the barely-not-teens-anymore bullshit and actually experience consequences and development. I wanted Andarna to get her questions answered and keep threatening to eat people. Girldad Tairn was amazing. But this book...was not good. The overwhelming two feelings I had were that nothing mattered because Violet has chosen one plot armor and that there was a teaspoon of plot in a gallon of "stuff happens cuz...it does." I debated not bothering with a review, but frankly I sat through this book, so you have to sit through this review. Let's talk Onyx Storm.

This is your obligatory spoiler warning. Consider yourself warned.

The hill I will die on is that Rebecca Yarros writes dragons AMAZINGLY. They're invariably my favorite part of any scene they're in (yes, even the deeply ham-fisted first meeting with the irids that read like someone who drank the "pacifists are the true enemy" kool-aid). Teen rage and angst Andarna made me sad, because bloodthirsty Andarna is happy Andarna and Andarna deserves happiness. Tairn is still my favorite grumpy old man with a surprisingly soft, gooey center. And I just want MORE of Sgaeyl, because she's sharp enough to cut steel cleanly and yet she still hasn't given up on Xaden and she gets to raise Andarna with Tairn.

Everything about the dragons is fabulous and fun. Which is the last complimentary thing I'm going to say about Onyx Storm for a while.

Violet spends the entire book giving chosen one with the best plot armor ever vibes, which is never my favorite thing, but its especially bad when it's quite THIS BLATANT. And the whole dipping her toe into leadership thing felt like an afterthought until Brennan at the end was like, "Vi, you have to pick ONE GOAL and just accept that people are going to die." Which...like...I'm sorry, but thats a little rich coming from the most bulletproof family in Navarre. And just because Violet can trust her squad, her boyfriend, and her brother to handle their shit doesn't mean she's a leader, it means she trusts the people she trusts and they just happen to be in positions where they can cover the objectives. Guarantee you, if it had been Melgren or total strangers, she wouldn't have been able to pick and stick to a single objective. I'm sure this was meant to feel like big emotional growth, but frankly it didn't stand up to scrutiny and...I am just not that interested in Violet Sorrengail.

She isn't the first protagonist of a series I haven't been terribly interested in; that actually tends to happen with me with chosen ones. I had similar experiences with the wizard school books, the Percy Jackson books, and even Lord of the fricking Rings. Chosen ones get oopsie poopsied into positions of import, and it's rare for them to cope in anything like an interesting way, and Violet absolutely does not. The reason I make it through chosen one books is typically because the characters surrounding them are interesting. I love the dragons, but Yarros absolutely blew it for me with the rest of the characters by leaving the entire Iron Squad except Ridoc (who, aside from being surprisingly cool with Violet when he found out Xaden is venin is about as interesting as a clown nose) at Basgiath for big ass swathes of the book. Rhiannon's leadership travails and Sawyer's recovery both felt more interesting to me than Violet spending an entire book on an ultimately futile mission and being told to learn to prioritize.

Then there was the Sorrengail parent drama, which SHOULD have been interesting. You and your siblings' experiences with your parents can be wildly different, and that can cause friction I'm some interesting ways. Instead, we get like...one big Mira/Brennan fight and Violet feeling bad because their dad didn't leave Mira anything and then it's all swept aside because hostage situation. It felt like an afterthought and that made it feel cheap and uninteresting.

Xaden was literally falling to the dark side and losing his soul, which, again, SHOULD be interesting. There was an opportunity for him to.go hella Frodo here, but no, it ended up as him hyperfixating on Violet being safe and on Bodhi being his heir in ways that just felt tired. And the flip flopping between hopeless and "I can be in magical remission so let's have sex" wasn't holding my attention or interest.

And...I hate to be the one that says this, because I do enjoy both a good rescue mission and heroic sacrifice, but rescuing Mira felt flat, and Xaden going full venin to save Sgaeyl also.sehow managed not to be in the least bit interesting.

Getting Rhiannon's and Imogen's POVs at the end was actually a WELCOME relief from drawing out the showdown with Theophanie and Xaden jumping off the venin cliff, but structurally that also felt jarring because we are three books in and now we're mixing up the narrative style???

The islands missions felt...perfunctory. Like Yarros needed time to pass and had to give everyone something to do until it was showdown time. There was some fun worldbuilding in those missions, and I can't even lie that the awkward dinner with Xaden's mother was kind of fun in a Titus Andronicus kind of way, but in terms of advancing the plot or my interest in the protagonists? Nah.

Then there was the pattern where Violet and co. just kept goig back to class between missions. That was weirdly jarring and the juxtaposition of "SUPER SECRET HIGH STAKES MISSION" and the war college equivalent of math class could almost have been commentary on hypernormalization and the increasingly weird stakes to attending Americam schools, but we didn't DO anything with it. It felt like killing time and being dragged through the school year so Voldemort could fuck up everyone's finals season--wait, no, wrong series. Same vibe though.

I could go on, but honestly...I'm over this book. It had so much potential and just fell down on execution.

[roselinbooks-archive]

Returning to my roots to rant about an SJM novel? Yep, must be getting close to summertime...

[theboarsbride]

A Court of Thorns and Roses (Rant) Review.

Rating: 2⭐⭐/5 stars

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Length: 420 pages

Review: Soooo……..needless to say I really did not enjoy this book (nor did I ever really anticipate such because this was a hate-read and I cannot stand SJM as both an author and a person lmao). This is going to be a long rant review, and I know a lot of what I'll bring up has been brought up previously in other reviews, but I will still try to provide new insight nonetheless! This review will come in segments, and can be accessed beneath the cut.

ALSO!! There will be spoilers throughout this review. Don't read any further if you don't wish to be spoiled!

AND ALSO! This is merely my opinion. If you enjoy this series, AWESOME! I'm glad for you, this just isn't for me, and I, in good faith, cannot give this book a good review.

⚠️AND NOW CONTENT WARNINGS⚠️ There will be mentions of sexual assault and overall abusive and possessive behavior. I will mark parts of the review that mention these themes with an asterisks (*) so that you may avoid that content if you're not up for reading about it.

NOW ONTO THE REVIEW!!

1. What I liked - While this was still a hate-read I don't want to be a total downer and I wanted to find something about SJM's writing that I enjoyed. Granted there wasn't a lot, but they were still there!

- To start, I feel like SJM can write really interesting and tense action scenes. The opening scene with the killing of the wolf, the naga chase scene (which, like… why are we getting naga in this very clearly English/Celtic folklore-inspired world, and to never have similar creatures featured again?), the trials Under the Mountain, etc. Just, overall, the third act taking place Under the Mountain was so fun!! Like, it wasn't great and still riddled with SJM's writing and other uhhhh questionable stuff (we'll get there), but overall I enjoyed it so much more than the previous two-thirds of the book!

- There were also some romantic moments that I thought were really sweet, and I wish we saw more of that! I wish we saw more of Feyre and Tamlin’s relationship blossom more!

Now onto stuff I didn't like…..(there's a lot)

1. The Writing and Characters - I can't stand SJM's writing style. The obvious annoyance is her overuse of em dashes, and also ellipses. Both of these were so incredibly unnecessary in her work, and only distracted me, and slowed my reading.

- And also she reuses the same sentence structure, and it annoyed me once I noticed it (ex.- i was going to the bathroom, which was white and clean and shining. Then, I went to school, a place that was dull and bland and boring.) 

- Like jfc. I wholeheartedly believe the conspiracy that no one actually edits SJM's book because good LORD.

- I refuse to believe that SJM knows, or would even care to know, how to write believable poor people. I refuse to believe that Feyre’s family has been destitute for nearly a decade - because they sure as hell don’t come across like it. Feyre’s sisters, Elaine and Nesta, act so dainty and bitchy about work and survival despite living this way for ALMOST 10 YEARS. Their mentalities, how they react to being poor, how they treat their belongings, how they treat and handle their food, how they handle their money, etc. doesn’t line up for me. I just don’t buy it.

- Also in relation to this point: Feyre is weirdly quick to let Tamlin’s servants wait on her hand and foot. Her psychology, how she thinks, and engages with Tamlin’s manor around her doesn’t fit with someone who’s spent eight years living in violent poverty and starving.

- A bit of a nitpick but, it bothers me that SJM writes Feyre as a painter yet I, for the life of me, couldn't tell you what her style is, how her artwork looks, or even what ANY piece of art looks like in this world. Feyre talks about her artistic eye and all that, but to me that description means nothing. Being a painter and liking art does nothing for Feyre's character, it's such a useless detail when it could be something that adds depth to her character and shows the reader how she views art, how she views the world, etc. This just shows me that SJM did nothing to research art, styles, and mediums, nor does she actually care about her character writing enough to utilize art as a way to elevate Feyre as a character.

- The pacing is so boring. It’s just painfully slow and stuff that could be exciting is skimmed over and never elaborated on, and all that really happens for the first two-thirds of the book is just Feyre vibing (and being passive aggressive towards) Tamlin and Lucien.

2. This is a fairytale retelling? - This book has EVERYTHING I absolutely loathe about modern day fairytale retellings - more specifically retellings of Beauty and the Beast.

- It fails as a retelling, in general, because it completely misses the point of the fairytaleS (there are multiple going on in ACOTAR) and ends up being a shallow husk of these classic tales.

- ACOTAR markets itself as a retelling of several fairytales: Beauty and the Beast, East of the Sun, West of the Moon (a Norwegian variant of BatB featuring a 'beast' that is a polar bear by day and a handsome prince by night), Eros & Psyche (a Greek myth that's widely accepted as one of the original versions of the 'monster bride-groom' narrative framework), and the Ballad of Tam-Lin (a Scottish folktale that features a man cursed by a queen of faeries). And yet I feel like it fails all of these stories, primarily Beauty and the Beast. BatB is a story about kindness and love, and loving someone for who they are as opposed to what they look like, and ACOTAR embodies the very thing I hate about modern retellings of this story: a ‘beast’ that is outwardly handsome and the only ‘beastly’ thing about him is being hypermasculine, aggressive, toxic, and cruel while offering little opportunities of redemption. Except, Tamlin isn’t necessarily all of those things. Conventionally hot and hypermasculine, yes, but he’s been nothing but gracious and nice to Feyre. And WHY is he named ‘Tamlin��, obviously being named after the titular Tam-Lin from Scottish folklore, and SJM does nothing to give this story a ‘Scottish flair’? Which brings me to my next point:

3. Worldbuilding - There is nothing about this world that convinces me that this is unique. It does nothing to differentiate itself from other fantasy worlds, or even our modern world! You can tell that there are medieval and Rococo/Georgian Europe influences, but that’s only in fashion and aesthetics. But the faeries?

- To me, they’re nothing more than conventionally attractive people with pointy ears and MAYBE magic. Tolkien elves, pretty much! Like, deadass, I pictured Tamlin looking like Legolas but jacked as fuck (AND WHY COULDN’T WE GET MORE OF TAMLIN’S BEAST FORM!?!?!?!? UUGHH!!!! BIG SAD!!). There were so few, like… FAERIE faeries, and whenever there were any the only indicators SJM would offer are differing skin tones, sharp teeth, claws, wings, etc. They just felt so uninspired and lazy (teetering between underdeveloped spectral entities or LOTR elves) … why write about faeries if you’re not going to put in the effort to flesh them out as FAERIES? I once saw someone say that what SJM is doing to faeries is what Stephanie Meyer did to vampires and honestly??? I agree.

- I will forever be bitter that SJM decided to write about faeries and did NOTHING new with fae lore.

- *I know this gets explained a little more in the second book (which… I will get to that when I write my ACOMAF review because i’ve thoughts) but what exactly is this world’s religious system? Because you never get a good feel for it. I say this because several times Lucien mentions ‘Hell’, as in capital ‘h’ Hell - Christian Hell. Why would he say this when humans are agnostic/athiest with a sparse numbr of fae-worshiping cults (and were once implied to have had a polytheistic religion that differs from our world’s Christianity) and fae worship the Cauldron and other faerie deities so like.....why would SJM not use a few extra braincells to create her own version of Hell rather than using lazy cultural shorthand that, by the logic of this book's world, doesn't work???? And this is a recurring theme in ACOTAR: lazy, underdeveloped, under explained world-building.

- *This might just be me but I hate the fated mates trope in this series. It just seems like a way to sexualize domestic abuse, and it doesn’t allow me to enjoy seeing a budding relationship to develop if we’re told that these two characters are SUPPOSED to be together and are MEANT to be in love and have sex!! (also a me thing: the way SJM sexualizes stuff is a personal ick… her ships are built more upon sex and sexual attraction rather than romantic feelings, which just isn’t for me and makes me struggle to believe people to actually be in love despite how much the author tries to convince me of such). Also the violent gender essentialism and heteronormativity :( ….it only gets worse in the second book.

- Why must we refer to everyone as male and female??? I would give this a pass if the faeries were more faerie and less human but… these fae are just humans with pointy ears, so I am deeply uncomfortable by the constant use of ‘male’ and ‘female.’ (I’m convinced that SJM is into omegaverse erotica, and I’d honestly have more respect for her if she just wrote straight-up, shameless omegaverse erotica rather than trying to write a vaguely developed fantasy story that fails to deliver on the epic plot it’s trying to sell to me.)

4. Feyre - She is a dumb protagonist (and I blame the author). She is dumb and deserves death - and you can tell that this is a plot-convenience brand of stupidity, unfortunately. Like the instance with the Puca. She suddenly sees her crippled father on Tamlin's land in Prythian in the middle of the night??? Given the wary hostility and aggression and distrust she's been displaying towards everyone and everything so far in Prythian, why isn't she doing the same in this instance???? She's said herself she is wary of faerie tricks, and acknowledged that not even whole, able-bodied humans are able to survive in Prythian without the help of a faerie, so why would she think her disabled father, who is helpless in the mortal realm, be any different??? And why would she care that her father has come for her??? Did she not wish that her family starves without her, so that they realize she's important to them and she holds them in such an embittered contempt?????

- Tamlin and Feyre have no chemistry. It just feels like I should be shipping them because this is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast and all that, but I just don't. SJM is relying heavily on a fairytale framework while also doing nothing to even try to convince me that these two characters are meant to be together. Their relationship is so dry and it feels like the attraction comes from nowhere, and only starting with physical attraction - which, to me, goes against the message of BATB, of loving someone for who they are rather than what they look like. The two of them, respectively, have more chemistry with Lucien than each other. Hell, why not make them a throuple???🤨 now THAT I'd ship because all three have banter, and any interaction with Lucien is so much fun to read.

- Also……how the fuck did Feyre not figure out Amarantha’s riddle?

5. *Rhysand - Yes. He gets his own section because I HATE him - and I HATE that he is destined to be the endgame love interest. He is a character we’re meant to root redemption for but I fucking refuse. And this is why.

- Rhysand has the perfect set up to be a scary asf villain, not a love interest. We will talk more about Rhysand and why he and Feyre are a ship I refuse to get behind, but that will be reserved for future updates. 

- For now: Rhys is great for a scary villain! He is night incarnate, he has snark, he has an imposing presence, and he can invade the minds of others......and he invades Feyre's mind, which she described as being immensely uncomfortable and painful, and she is afraid. Mind you, he does this without her consent. Keep in mind that everything he does beyond this point is without her consent and he is doing it as himself and for his own gain, not the influence of love pollen or magic. He is doing it while totally aware and sober. That's why he is a horrible person and a creep.

- He does many things without Feyre’s consent. He tortures, assaults, drugs, and harms her all without consent without anything else compelling his will other than himself.

- He forces her into a deal in which she is to spend one week a month in the Night Court with him, and he does this by twisting and pulling her broken arm when she refuses. He drugs and assaults her by making her drink faerie wine (which she refuses to drink as she was warned against doing so), dresses her scantily clad AGAINST HER WILL, covers her in paint so he knows where people all touch her AGAINST HER WILL, and makes her perform lap dances until she gets sick and then makes her all do it again AGAINST HER WILL. After catching her and Tamlin stealing a moment, he pushes her against a wall and kisses her WITH TONGUE to make it seem like he was the one that muddied the paint on her body rather than Tamlin. All of this he’s done AGAINST HER WILL.

- Have I mentioned how he does this against her will yet??? Did I emphasize enough that Rhysand does all this to Feyre without her consent???

- Rhysand is an evil creep that I refuse to redeem. What he did for Feyre Under the Mountain is awful and not at all deserving of redemption. And I don’t care if he says ‘I did this to help defeat Amarantha and save my court’ or ‘I did it to make Tamlin more mad and to kill Amrantha instantly’ or ‘I did it for your own good.’ I don’t fucking care, those are the excuses of an abuser. He didn’t need to literally torture and assault her.

- Also, on that note: why does he do this for the sake of making Tamlin more mad? Like??? Tamlin saw his court be cursed, he was sexually harassed by Amarantha ever since he was a child, and he witnessed Amarantha torture a woman he loves. Why would he need anything more to make him kill Amarantha faster? This argument fails to work for me. Fuck you, Rhysand, I hate you.

6. *Calanmai - This gets its own section because it’s just… so messy, and I wish to blame SJM for it’s messiness because the characters are all victims to her insensitive, careless writing.

- This is a very weird scenario??? Because, let's be frank, Tamlin assaulted Feyre and Feyre is a victim... HOWEVER. on multiple occasions she is told by FAERIES THAT HAVE EONS OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS WORLD, THEIR CULTURES, CUSTOMS, AND ACCOMPONYING DANGERS to stay in her room and that this is not safe for humans, especially her once the Great Rite occurs because Tamlin will be drawn to her. But she goes against these warnings, going to the festival and leaving her room before dawn. 

- HOW DUMB ARE YOU FEYRE??!?!?!?!?! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID???!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?! JUST UUGGHHH!!!!!!!! 

- And then there's Tamlin. With how the Great Rite is explained, it's like he is possessed by some springtime magic so that he is a vehicle for said magic? So the scene where he pins Feyre and bites her is almost set up like he both is and isn't possessed? It's more like he's drunk off of love pollen?? I don't know, but to me I think that both are and are not at fault - they are because Feyre didn't listen to SEVERAL warnings in a situation that is obviously unsafe for her and Tamlin could've prepared better by explaining things to her and setting up safeguards, and they aren't because Feyre is a victim and Tamlin is being possessed by a power that's greater him (which is kind of implied to be something he really doesn't want to do). Again, this is a very weird and highly uncomfortable situation - both are victims to SJM’s writing.

- Ultimately, the situation of Calanmai is poorly written and handled on SJM's behalf. It feels like her trying to eroticize a moment of assault, which in of itself is gross (bear in mind that this was initially published as a YA novel - and I initially read it as a YA novel in middle school), and to introduce Rhysand, the second half of this love triangle, which there are so many other ways this could've been done. And the fact that the assault is brushed off and treated like a friendly joke without having actual discussion about it makes it worse. - This is arguably the most 'fae' thing in this book so far? Like it feels so fae because of connections to celebrating springtime and fertility, and drinking and festivals, but at the same time this just feels like an oversexualization of traditional pagan beliefs by being a massive orgy?

- Just. Ew. Sarah J Mass, you’re gross for writing a moment like this and not being responsible enough to execute this concept with more nuance.

7. The Ending - This is really brief, but boooooo to Feyre being resurrected with all the powers of all the High Lords. :(

- (Also I know that Rhysand hints at him and Feyre being mates and uugghhh kill me now)

So these are my main thoughts regarding ACOTAR… It’s a fantasy romance that should be advertised more for it’s romance than fantasy elements as the fantasy-action takes a major backseat and acts more as a subplot to the main romance. It’s a fantasy world that is underdeveloped and is full to the brim of underutilized lore. It butchers existing faerie lore, and leaves much to be desired. Characters are unlikeable and stupid, and the only thing that got me through this book was Lucien.

SJM I do not like you, and I cannot wait to return to write about my hate for ACOMAF.

[roselinbooks]

Sorry this week's episode is late, Friday was kind of crazy busy @_@ but it's up now!!

I cannot believe that it took ninteen chapters to get to an official trial in this death tournament. Applicable advice for writers: Please just write what you want instead of trying to shoehorn in a plot you clearly don't care about.

[kikis-dump]

The concept of the overlord always confused me.

He is described as darkness and evil itself. While I have no problem with an unsympathetic villain, the plot of Ninjago has always focused more on a sense of balance especially in the later seasons such as the existance of the Oni and Dragons. So I find it very hard to accept that they make the Overlord a primordial being representing everything evil when the Oni already exist representing destructon- not that Oni are evil (Mystake I love you) but they already represent a side considered dark.

Yes, I know that the Overlord is an already established character from the very first seasons of Ninjago so even if they wanted to change what they said about him, it wouldn't be easy but I wish they involved a backstory for him? Not really but c'mon Ninjago- give me more than just a simple "I was born from darkness"

WHY...WERE YOU BORN FROM DARKNESS? Were you the previous "God" of Ninjago before the first spinjitsu master came? Was Ninjago that "evil" of a realm that the overlord came into being? Did the first spinjitsu master make some big mistake for you to manifest?

(After asking myself that question I went to the wiki and saw that the overlord was born out of darkness because Ninjago was created so what if because of FSM's desperation to make a peaceful world he didn't know th consequemces to that and then the overlord came into being. Man I wish this was canon and they explained it in the show....)

Did you create Wojira or were YOU her? I don't know give me something especially with how complex Ninjago made the Dragon and Oni lore :((((

This is probably Crystalized's fault for messing up the lore so much but I persinally like making sense of canon even when it DOESN'T make sense overall- I mean fanfics and headcanons exist!!!

Continue if you want Headcanons that possibly- most likely don't make sense. They're just Ideas that I thought of that seem cool.

1. Personally, I like thinking that the Overlord is the Oni's leader and not that pushover Oni Lloyd and Garmadon fought in March of the Oni. Like, the Oni migrated right? There were no more Oni in the first realm when the Ninja came and clearly they left a long time before season 9 happened.

Ooohh what if March of the Oni happened cayse the Oni were trying to prepare for the Overlord.

I know this headcanon makes it look like I'm saying the Oni are a one dimentional race but it's just cool if both Oni and dragon (cause there's ultra) came to Ninjago to look for FSM anf while Oni were missing (?) the dragons befriended his sons. Idk it sounds cute.

2. I noticed while watching some Ninjago clips that the Overlord looks like a combination of a dragon and an Oni, like a dark dragon. I mean that's what he transforms into in season 2- Maybe this is why the Dragon and Oni were so desperate to get the FSM on their side cause before him the Overlord came, decided he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, nearly destroyed both species and then they banished him somewhere else.

Oh? You're saying I'm giving a supposedly unsympathetic villain a backstory when he isn't meant to have one? Ya so what? It's an interesting take if I do say so myself even if the FSM lore we're given contradicts me

I hope you can tell J like making bavkstories for no reason😭

[imgunnagetyou]

Stormlight Archive review of all 5 books + 2 novellas (Brandon Sanderson)

i dont know how to start this

i got a pran, a pran of cingles

stormlight archive fuckin sucks and im going to try to explain why

actually, a small disclaimer. an interesting thing i learned about brandon was that in 2019 he visited shitrael as he was invited to some ‘con. now, one could argue, for example, he didnt know what shitrael was doing to Palestine. unfortunately, i also learned that his fans had protested and told him not to go, to which brandon responded with something along the lines of “i dont believe in boycotting” or “boycotting doesnt work” or some shit. “Another lesser-known issue is Sanderson’s visit to Israel in 2019 as a guest of honor for the science fiction and fantasy convention, ICon. In an interview with The Jerusalem Post, Sanderson expressed that the invitation was one that some asked him to declined stating, “My general inclination is I don’t generally boycott no matter what. I don’t think it’s an effective way to cause social change. I think there are other and better ways. So I didn’t agree with these requests.”” from expertbooksmuggler. now, i literally had to google if brandon is american. he is, he was born in nebraska in like 1970s or something. one of the most famous boycotts of all time in this country is the Rosa Parks Bus Boycott. which worked. to claim boycotting doesnt work is profoundly stupid thing to say. so either brandon is horrifically ignorant and doesnt know of the hundreds of boycotts that have worked and are working today, or he supports shitrael. i cant buy that he just doesnt know. all of this is to say, i no longer wish to support this author for this reason and also multiple reasons of genuinely problematic things i found in these books. its also to let you know that i know, and i can let you know.

this review is not very well organised at all. so if you thought youd read the review until i said “ok spoilers for oathbringer” then stop, dont do that. im going to be spoiling all 5 books plus novellas all over the place during this review, this is only suitable to read if you dont care for spoilers or have already read the books.

SOME MATH: Those last two hundred or so pages are usually great, but I have to ask myself if the rest of the book can stand on equal footing. if only the end of a book is the good part, why should i read any of it? im not going to play a game for 50 hours because "it gets good at max level" or some shit, it should be good IMMEDIATELY. same goes for books. if someone recommends me a 1k page book and says "it gets good at 800 pages in" im not reading that shit. this the entirety of StAr reading experience. i did a little bit of fucked up math. lets claim the average reading speed 200 words per minute, 400 words on the page. 3-4 mins on a page. average time spent on reading a day, 15-20m. 4500 words a day. 320,000 words in 800 pages. 71 days or 1700 hours. math is probably wrong, but you get the point..

FILLER: lets be real, the way of kings is just a giant prologue... 1k pages of set up. id argue someone could start the series at words of radiance and treat way of kings as a .5 prequel and theyd be completely fine tbh. theres an insane amount of filler in these books, considering if they were edited by someone with a brain, theyd still be 500-700+ page books. length of book =/ epic... compare to lotr: its considered the greatest epic fantasy of all time (i think) and tolkien achieved that in... about 1500 pages. or the hobbit, which is barely 300 pages..

filler is a horrible problem in these books, as ive already noted. now i cant remember when this particular interlude happened, but its not a spoiler anyway lol. either in radiance or oathbringer, we get a random pov from some herdazian man who is about to get executed and the judge or wtv gives him the option to get beheaded or get "the hog" while oiled up. the hog turns out to be some giant sea creature or something. the interlude chapter ends. it never comes up again... at first i thought lopen, being herdazian, would make some sort of joke about the hog and we'd be like ahh i saw that. but no. and its like, are you fucking serious? this book is 1k pages long and we still get this random ass filler? ??? im so confused..

for a bunch of 1k+ books with filler, why the fuck are we missing giant, pivotal moments that we shouldve seen? for example: in oathbringer, jasnah just. coming back. people thought she was dead for months, and we dont get any scenes with her reuniting with her family and shallan???? what lol??? when her death is revealed by shallan to navani and dalinar, navani mopes for a bit, then forgors when shallan almost dies (doesnt unfortunately) but her death goes strangely unmentioned for the rest of the book... elhokar literally started a war over the murder of his father, yet when his sister is murdered he doesnt give a shit? what?

in rhythm, I kept wondering how many more chapters filled with science experiments I could endure before I would officially give up. theres no way anybody , even die hard fans, give enough of a shit about the science of this world to read multiple page long chapters that go on and on about the fucking fabrials. like, its great that you have this information as a writer of fantasy. however, WE DONT NEED ALL THE FUCKIN DETAILS!!!! if I wanted to read about this many god damn experiments I would have majored in a fucking science. the only good part of those chapters were raboniel, and of course the manipulative navani kills her, giving me another reason to hate her..

taravangian: why yes, do please tell me again (for the 100th time!) that Tara is dumb/smart depending on the day. you did not make this point very clear in the previous novel, so do please repeat it every other sentence when it is a Tara chapter. every. single. time. this is actually a little bit of this telling not showing thing that happens a lot in these books. couldve just SHOWN us he was stupid or smart that day with his tests or thoughts or whatever but nah you had to just tell us directly

adolin: in wind and truth, I cannot figure out why every single Adolin chapter has to rehash his feelings towards his father. We heard about them 30 pages ago, we don't need it again, I have memory. the worst part of this book is just how little of a real story is present. For each of the ten "days" very little actually happens. Adolin, for instance, starts the book making a forlorn last stand at a fortress. by day eight, 900 pages later, he's still there doing the same thing. Kaladin starts off on an epic fetch quest, in which he visits about a dozen essentially identical locations (including recursive versions in flashbacks) with no sense of unravelling mystery or significance. by the end of the book, he's still doing the same thing.

for a book with 1.3k pages, there is insane amount of filler, "balanced" by completely ignoring massive events that happen in the book. kaladin finally getting his bridge four tattoo: like one sentence. taln waking up and fighting his way through multiple fused to defend people and dying: literally off screen. fuck even dalinars death is off screen. and i really wouldve loved to see him die. he didnt burn alive like he deserved to but I DESERVED TO WATCH HIM FUCKING DIE!!! also: shallans mom being chana, oh who cares i didnt either... gavinor being 20 years older, nobody cares about that, he kinda just disappears at the end. youd think he’d be hanging around dalinars body and people would be like who the fuck is this guy but nah and last, the issues of how the 10 day format caused the plot to be static and stall for 1k pages lol. first 100-200 pages, ok, last 100-200 pages, ok, inbetween? why am i still here.... just to suffer...

ROMANCE: brandon, i believe has said he hates writing romance and it shows... im gone say it: if navani was a man, you would hate her. IF NAVANI WAS A MAN YOUD HATE HER!!! she literally coerces dalinar into getting with her like 3 times, he constantly saying no every single time, practically begging her to leave him alone until he finally gives in and gets with her. how do yall like her? if their roles were swapped, you would fucking hate dalinar for constantly harassing navani, but since the woman did it, i guess its fine.. the hypocrisy is fucking crazy

the fucking betrothal... apparently this is a unpopular opinion, but frankly i dont give a fuck if your book takes place in a fantasy world with 0 concept of pedophilia*... as the author, you have the choice to make your characters ages the way they are... why the fuck is shallan 17 and adolin 25 grown ass man? if this was real world, hes be in jail bruh. and its supposed to be romantic... his CONTINUED SEXISM!!! which shallan literally notices but AGAIN is not mentioned or confronted. wtf? note its like when i read a classic from 1800s and its racist as fuck and i go i dont like this book its racist as fuck then every fucker and his mother come to tell me noooo its from the 1800s it was ok to be racist then. ok? i dont give a fuck racism is bad now it was bad then.. i dont care whats normal for the time lol. im going to dislike it, and again, as a fantasy writer, you literally have the option to age up or down your characters, there was no need for this straight up fucking pedophilia. idk if im reaching, but i seriously feel like a lot of authors write fantasy like theyre writing historical fiction. youre writing fantasy... youve created your own religions, cultures etc just for them to have the exact same problems we have/had in medieval times. sexism? (including child marriage apparently, with the girl kaladin had a crush on get married at 14/15 to a man who had to be 45+ and nobody gives a shit. also the thing brandon did where she ended up actually liking/loving him is kinda fuckin weird. girl no shes a fucking victim of pedophilia, forced marriage and hell, stockholm syndrome too apparently. we not doing this fuckin noooo she actually ended up loving him uwu) racism? slavery? you betcha, for everyone even. like girl write fantasy. yk what the real fantasy would be? 0 prejudice. world fuckin peace. i mean cmon get creative here..

again: terrible romance. i mildly rooted for shallan and kal to get together, because they are at least closer in age... but frankly she shouldve stayed single. this is another problem in the series that seems to come up, why it seems all main female characters are, really, FORCED to get into relationships with men, (for example jasnah and wit getting together for no reason at all). maybe i am reaching here but it just seems weird, especially considering that all the relationships suck such massive unwashed cock. NOT TO MENTION... despite shallan spending more time in oathbringer thinking about kaladin and how hot he is, (we spend time in adolin and shallan pov, they hardly think about each other??) somehow she and adolin "love" each other after 3 months of meeting. Why? Why The Fuck? not to mention AGAIN adolins BLATANT SEXISM at the end where he says "ill let him have you", shallan repeats it like she couldnt believe he said that, then adolin is like "dont make this harder :(((" then shallan goes on an unbelieveable speech about how she loves and wants to fuck adolin. wow. turns out sexism works when you use it on a 17 year old girl who has no self worth to fall back on. TAKE NOTES GUYS!!!! no wonder he DOESNT FUCKING GROW!!

rlain and renarin: while rlain and renarins relationship is great to see in a sanderson book, its not well written at all. It’s partially the fault of the fact that Sanderson didn’t know what to do with Renarin’s character, partially the fault of the fact that Sanderson has positioned Rlain as The Token Parshendi. rlain and renarin get so little screen time that when they get together i dont believe it... we’ve SEEN them interact like 3 times so we never see any sort of friendship grow at all. so i couldnt give less of a fuck about their relationship because i dont know or care about these fucking people. yay gay written by a mormon i guess guys look hes not homophobic... this literally wouldve been fixed by giving renarin or rlain or both a fucking pov in earlier books but nah. "im worried to write gay characters because im scared to mess it up" heres a hint sanderson. WRITE THEM AS PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE GAY!!!! Finally, I’ve been uncomfortable with how Sanderson handles Rlain’s character since the Bridge Four days. His role here feels very similar to that of the Listeners in the context of the war. He experiences xenophobia throughout the series, and that’s never really been addressed.

GENUINELY PROBLEMATIC THINGS:

In this book, Shallan says, "Slavery was a mercy for the lower classes." The darkeyes. Sanderson goes out of his way to highlight the different schools of thought, as though he is setting up for a rebellion.(which never happens) But Shallan is so accepting of slavery that it rubs me wrongly. Her nickname for Kaladin throughout the book is "bridgeboy," (as with adolin) which is a reference to his role as a slave. Why is a main character sympathetic to enslaving darkeyes? idk if im reaching, but if i was kaladin, i would not want to be reminded of the part of my life where i literally considered suicide as an escape. not only “bridgeman” - bridge BOY. even more disrespectful as fuck. reminding him of slavery, and also demeaning the fuck out of him, for no reason. adolin starts calling him that out of racism i guess, all because kaladin took control of a situation where adolin was an emotional bitch and couldnt get anything done. be grateful, dickhead. he saved your child killing father... (at the very least, stop calling him bridgeboy..)

when moash gets shard plate and then Kaladin becoming a full Surgebinder they both have their eyes lighten. At face value, it appears brandon is giving credence to the misguided class system. but guess what? by the end of these books, THIS DOESNT FUCKIN MATTER!!!! nobody cares!!! do you have any idea the implications of this??? its like if in this world there was some legit honest to god proof of white superiority, what the fuck would happen? it would be fucking chaos. itd probably be WAR!!! but these people just dont care, that there seems to be legit validity to light eyes being better

also .. man writing women syndrome galore lol. really none of the women in this series are likeable and written badly... just,, this quote from jasnah: “used a fetching face to make men do as you wish is no different from a man using muscle to force a woman to his will” im sorry... in what world is jasnah saying that? nobody with a brain should be saying that and we've already established that jasnah is very big brain lol. i think shallans entire character is men writing women, which is probably why people dislike her so much. and then manipulative navani

the racism/classism dropped plotline was the worst blow. you start the series off with the main focus being a slave who fights against an oppressive system. can you imagine just two books later you have him fully assimilated INTO the very system that enslaved him and he doesn’t even care? you’d imagine with the parshmen gone, darkeye oppression and slavery would be expanded greatly but Kaladin just doesn’t really care and neither does the narrative.

stormlight healing disabilies: why.. why is this a thing?? and nobody ever talks about it.. yeah sure its a society where they dont care about people with disabilities, but idk i was hoping for some commentary on this? maybe the people in question thinking, "hmm.. stormlight healed my seizures. was i not worthy of being a knight radiant with seizures and having to wear glasses?" (as much as having to wear glasses is a disability, its never explained how badly renarin actually needed his glasses, and when he suddenly stops wearing them, NEITHER HIS FATHER OR HIS BROTHER gives a shit and never asks about it.) its very strange. yk whats sad, when renarin was revealed to have seizures, i thought oh cool, ive only read one other book with a chara with seizures. oh neverfuckingmind its healed. i remember someone saying that it was cool renarin wore glasses. well thats healed too lmao. in wind and truth dabbid is followed around by a windspren before kaladin leaves. the guy near kaladin is like yeah dabbids had that for a while he hasnt noticed. then proceeds to say "you think itll fix his problem?" what is this trying to insinuate? he has a speech impediment, thats the only “problem” he has. and why was he singled out with rlain at the beginning to not be a squire anyway? because of the battle shock? or because he slurs? and wtf does that mean? it never goes anywhere and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. like constantly this shit that seems like everybody has to be healed by stormlight their disabilities and everybody agrees is really disturbing. people are like omg rysn!!! disabled rep waaaowoow like girl did you read the other fucking books? and shes such a background side character that doesnt even matter in the first 5 books that i dont understand what the fucks to be praised anyway…

dalinar, love him not being able to handle his war crimes, but i love even more manipulative navani ENABLING his alcohol addiction is insane LMFAO can we get a wife of the year award? she has the audacity to think "why are men allowed to be sad and drink and i have to do all the work" ???? what the fuck are you talking about? YOURE GIVING HIM THE ALCOHOL TO GET DRUNK ON!!! WHAT!?!?!?!? this bitches audacity fucking pisses be off the whole book. my blood pressure rises and i get dizzy with hate. i never liked her. i hope she dies horribly (unfortunately, i guess ill never know. at least she went into a coma, people can get a break from her manipulations.) on that note, gavilar was a piece of shit, but when he calls her out for marrying him for the power and wealth she has the audacity to get mad at him? wahhh my husband doesnt love and respect me wahhh you literally married him for power and then married his brother who is just as bad or arguably worse… for the power and wealth again. i like how it tried to tell me otherwise in rhythm where navani thinks to herself she doesnt want power or wealth and yet married gavinor. so did you marry him because you loved him? because you didnt… (also the part where she considers herself a good wife and mother. my pubic hairs are a better mother. fuck you mean)

dalinar: why do people suck dalinars cock so much, calling him a holy man when hes murdered children via fire and his wife and abused/neglected his own children.(granted this part nobody knows or can accept) if HES holy am i God? i mean seriously, even in this shitty society where they glorify murder, how the fuck are they okay with the burning of a city, the direct murder of children and his wife which btw he had zero remorse for? perhaps he left the remorselessness out of his little book, but in the real thing he couldnt have gave less of a shit... he just felt ah damn gavilar is going to beat my ass for this :\ also the end of part one of rhythm where hes "lamenting" on those murdered children that horns navani up so much they fuck? holy shit that child killer cock must go crazy. that power hungry vagina must be hungry. holy shit. if i fucked for power i would at least not be so god damn obvious or having a lack of morals. if the guy i was fucking for power was revealed to be a child murderer and wife killer i would be like dam that power dont taste that good no more

in rhythm of war, the sibling constantly dislikes navani for imprisoning spren to be used in fabrials. navani says that the other spren have said that the fabrial spren are mindless and therefore it is fine to use them in fabrials. thats weird. that is also the exact same argument they used for the slaveform parshmen, that they were mindless and therefore it is ok to use them as slaves...(this goes nowhere)

while the prejudice against people with differently coloured eyes is a mildly interesting concept, it kinda crashes when it seems the only people with eyes considered "dark" are brown only, and then i did some bare minimum googling and according to the top page first answer, 20-30% of caucasians have brown eyes, 70-80% of Black people have brown eyes, 80-90% of Asians have brown eyes, and 60-80% of Hispanic/Latino have brown eyes. (give or take in accuracy) why do i bring this up? because i remember distinctly that renarin in oathbringer was described as having "sapphire eyes". sapphires are almost always extremely dark blue, with some exceptions, (and also pink sapphires exist apparently). but he is considered light eyed, so do dark green and dark blue not count as DARK eyes? if only brown eyes are considered dark eyes, it kinda just falls back on racism toward brown and Black people again

bad rep with shallans personality disorder… now i dont have a lot i can say about this as i know next to nothing about personality disorders. however, one thing i can say, is that one “stereotype” of people with these disorders is they always have a personality/es that are violent and aggressive. and of course shallan has a violent personality that murdered ialai without her knowing. waaaoww…

why are victims forgiving their abusers? again, something i cant say too much on, but in oathbringer, dalinar claims he hears evi’s voice saying she forgives him. excuse the fuck out of me? she was verbally abused and therefore a victim of domestic abuse… why are we writing her forgiving him? especially after her noticing dalinar actively pretending renarin doesnt exist, and then you know, the part where he burned her alive ALONG WITH CHILDREN AND WOMEN??? on that note, in wind and truth, renarin has a fleeting thought that he has some “resentment” for his father, but doesnt expand on what. explain to me pls, the resentment. the neglect part? the part where he murdered your mother who was the only one in your family apparently to give a shit about you? do pray tell, what the resentment is for. this is never brought up again

Dalinar is as bad as the rapists in the army. in oathbringer, dalinar comes up to sadeas and there is a group of women who are 100% going to be given to soldiers for rape, as thats the only thing soldiers are good at in every reality apparently. i called dalinar a rapist, and someone said they dont think he was. ok. in brandons narrative, he isnt. realistically? yes. he is. but ok, but looks at this scene instead. as commander (i think he was… correct me if im wrong) (or at least a brother to the KING) he should be able to tell his soldiers to not be fucking horrible. He does not do this. when sadeas makes a remark about “looking forward to tonight”, dalinar doesnt even fucking blink. let me explain something to you guys. ill hold your hand. lets make a venn diagram. on the left side, there is a big circle, this circle is the normal people circle. on the right side, there is another big circle. this circle is the creatures who are rapists. these circles dont overlap/ there is another smaller circle. this circle is people who are silent, and do not speak up or stop things that are in their power to do so. where does this circle go? ill give you a hint. NOT IN THE NORMAL PEOPLE CIRCLE!!! you cannot be fucking neutral on shit like that. therefore, dalinar is just as bad as his rapist soldiers.

DEUS EX MACHINA GALORE: everything just conveniently good happens to the characters... in words of radiance, shallan: somehow manages to go into shadesmar just enough to set the ship on fire, survives drowning because of a FUCKING SANTHID which is NEVER EXPLAINED???? like, they know nothing about santhids. if we actually knew things about santhids, brandon could say they are like dolphins in which dolphins sometimes will randomly save a drowning person. deus ex machina? sure. believable? yes. a random nanthid which nobody knows anything about much less what they even look like? she should’ve died… and make the books slightly better! manages to persuade all those bandits or whatever into keeping her alive and they r just like aight. only one who tries to kill her is tyn who of course failed. also she becomes a master con artist so fuckin fast, especially considering how limited tyns lessons were.

kaladin: only thing i can remember is that god damn shardblade wound, which is literally supposed to be unrecoverable, but jk he drinks a healing potion from skyrim and it doesnt fuckin matter. i was like holy shit his fucking arm is fuckin gone what he gone do???? oh jk.

jasnah: somehow survives a fucking knife to the chest (can claim she used stormlight i guess), manages to teleport herself into shadesmar and proceeds to survive there for multiple months

also szeth: strangely brandon seems unable to kill characters in this series having jasnah survive impossibly bc why not, which is weird cause honestly if she died, i dont think anything fundamental wouldve changed about the books at all. shes a completely useless character… and also szeth gets approached by a fuckin god for some reason and hes like "ur cool here get resurrected like jesus. also you get an annoying sword”

dalinar randomly bonding with stormfather by just saying random words. i thought the whole point of becoming radiant was the spren in question had to really pick and choose who their knight would be and it would be about genuine intent and shit and they had to choose to possibly sacrifice themself and die but apparently u can just say some words accidentally as shown in dawnshard with lopen and the spren will go ah fuck we bonded now. not to mention, wind and truth completely just, abolished knights radiant so we go from, a spren picking a choosing and potentially sacrificing themselves all the way to... you dont even have to be bonded to have third and fourth ideals (which are apparently very difficult to achieve) swords and armour, all because adolin just talked to his fucking armour and sword sometimes. are you serious? so whats the point of radiants..probably think, oh what about their powers? well fuck what about them? truthwatcher? i dont even know what those fuckers do. elsecaller portals? who gives a shit, seems everyone can accidentally themselves into shadesmar anyway. windrunner and skybreakers seem the exact same fuckin radiant with flight... i cant even remember what the others are. they seriously seem obsolete..

no stakes: nobody can fucking die. not even a (important) minor character dies or takes a lasting injury. in oathbringer, adolin gets stabbed, and theres no way anybody worried he was going to die, no dalinar becomes god and miraculously frees them from shadesmar right where renarin is so he can heal adolin. coo. the stakes are rapidly decreasing to me in that way and reduces the fun of the action. when characters are constantly healing and battling off insurmountable odds without any failure I just lose interest. stormlight shouldve never been this powerful tbh that was a horrible decision, which couldve been solved by just not having it heal at all. or maybe keeping the cleric-like radiants (truthwatcher and edgedancer) be the healers of the group, and only they could heal other people and themselves, but nobody else can do that) good to know a character can just pause the game skyrim style and eat cheese and be fine lol

Shallan and Kaladin going through the same things they went through in the earlier books, again? Shallan has another deep dark secret? What did she do this time, drown her grandmother? Kaladin is depressed? sure do hope he snaps out of it before the big finale.. (hint, thats not how depression works… source: im depressed)

Wit becomes an insufferable vehicle of exposition and deus ex machina. Wit in the last two books is completely unlike himself in the first 3 books. I understand the stakes have changed for him, but as was the case for so many other characters, his allure was completely abandoned because his unique voice was foregone. he’s never panicked or lost his composure, but in this book, it’s like he has never been composed in his life.

kaladin becoming a "therapist" felt extremely strange to me, for the entire book. there might have been much better ways to develop this aspect of his character, but straight up calling him a therapist, and then having him "cure" Szeth and his spren after a few days of conversation. i mean szeth literally after like day 4 is like, ok kaladin ur right... im going to kill myself instead :D and then two days later somehow is convinced that kaladin is right and actually hes not going to kill himself? ok.... And then curing Nale by literally playing a tune on a flute. it was so wildly far-fetched for me that I couldn't help but feel myself cringing. NOBODY - seriously, nobody - lives through the kinds of things that Szeth lived through and then finds healing and peace after a few days of therapy. Yet not only Szeth - a 7,000 year old Herald overcomes his mental obstacles just as quickly? buddy i havent even half the traumas of those two, had 2 years of therapy (searching for a new therapist :D ) and im still depressed AND im on anti depressants. i understand that it says multiple times that it takes time, but still that nale is able to snap out of his "fog" so quickly is insane. then ishar, well at least the flute playing didnt work on him, but saying an ideal did...somehow lol. despites szeth's 5th ideal not working, kaladin says the 5th ideal, blasts ishar back with a "burst of power" and when ishar wakes up hes like Holy Shit Im A Bad Person.

UNCATEGORISED: Elhokar: he is dead. his death had no effect on the story, nor the development of any of the characters. kaladin mopes for a bit, then his little depressive episode clears up after about (checks watch) 24 hours. he is almost practically forgotten about in the same chapter he is killed in. Navani cries for like a sentence when she hears the news, but swiftly moves on, he is never brought up again. no other characters brood over his death in a meaningful capacity, we don’t even get to see any kind of funeral rite for him.

There is a frustrating lack of gravitas in many scenes. Lift appears at the tailend of what was set to be one of the better chapters in oathbringer, when Dalinar first meets Odium, seemingly only to deflate any tension by making comments about his butt and how she dislikes old people. Szeth now has a sword that talks in the same particularly childish quippy way as Syl, who already talked in the same particularly childish quippy way as Shallan. its like a gd marvel movie, a moment cant go by without a stupid joke. please... shut... on that note, nightblood i believe is an insanely old consciousness, why is it so childish? i understand why syl was childish at the beginning, but she never grows, changes or matures in any way whatsoever as she gets her memories back

sadeas got killed by Adolin at the end of Words, nothing comes of it ever. there's a cursory investigation but when the copy-cat killings are revealed to be the work of one of the Unmade, it's forgotten until Dalinar wants to make Adolin king. so Adolin admits to killing Sedeas. and then nobody cares still. i was hoping for some real complications to rise from that. adolin had some guilt but it was barely a factor. also it never comes up again and nobody cares. aight. look, did sadeas deserve to die? yeah. but why does nobody care about finding the murderer? the copy cat killings had to be based on the original murder of sadeas, therefore, to everyones knowledge, the murderer is still at large. but its ok nobody cares ig

shadesmar: this is more of a personal opinion lol.. but shadesmar is so boring!! why are the spren just humans? its like reading a faery book and they are just hot humans. give me weird shit. i dont want humanoid beings with a strange "pattern" for a head. give me fuckin weird little imps and shit. nah not only do the spren take on human forms, they are just alethi most of the time. ?? its so boring.. for example, i was imagining the honourspren being like, translucent spriggans from skyrim. crypticspren incomprehensible shit. inkspren as some sort of squid sorta thing. like wtf get creative. youre writing a FANTASY PLEASE!!!!!!!!! why are they all humanoid im bored

im not convinced that renarin and adolin give a shit about each other. there are MULTIPLE instances where renarin is COMPLTELY forgotten and its like, brandon why the fuck did you even bother writing this character? way of kings, when adolin and dalinar come back from almost being fuckin massacred, renarin gives adolin the good ol clap on the shoulder. WHAT???? BUDDY YOUR BROTHER WAS ALMOST KILLED HUG HIM???? in rhythm, adolin is going to leave for shadesmar for who knows how long and who knows what dangers lie ahead. his shitty father talks to him and gives some speech and fucks off. renarin is NOT mentioned and nowhere to be found. why wouldnt he say goodbye to his brother hes supposed to care about? again, in wind and truth, adolin goes off to azir to fight again unknowable dangers and can possibly die as he isnt a radiant to heal himself. renarin is nowhere to be found and never says goodbye. in wind and truth or rhythm, dalinar is playing with gavinor and lamenting he didnt witness more of adolins childhood. renarin is NOT mentioned. this is a huge tell not show thing because i think its mentioned a few times how adolin cares about renarin and vice versa, but i dont see any god damn proof of this.

the spiritual realm: in wind and truth, our next big disappointment was the Spiritual Realm. we were, again, led to believe that this realm is extremely dangerous: Wit and the gods were supposedly afraid of the Spiritual Realm because it was difficult to navigate, time was easy to lose, and you couldn’t know what to expect. it turned out, however, that the Spiritual Realm is just a mindscape-style place that was rather easy to navigate when you actually try for more than 2 seconds. the most difficult part of being in the Spiritual Realm is, apparently, confronting yourself/your history. we’re again in a situation where I feel like I’m supposed to be impressed or enraptured by the new setting and overlook how dreadfully boring the plot occurring there is. what a god can do in the spiritual realm is so confusing. what tara cant do: find radiants when their spren is hiding them. what he can do: recreate a fucking simulation of an entire city and its people

dalinar: he had one job and he fucked it up astronomically. and this is the most unforgivable part for me. when faced with Adult Gav, Dalinar proves he has learned nothing from his jouney of the past five books. he does not even TRY to save his grandson, or to reconcile with him. not even when adult Gav is frozen by Odiom, not even when he is visibly weeping because he knows he was deceived. Danilar doesn't even fucking try. No apologies, no "I love you's", no "we didn't know and if we had, we would have torn the whole Cosmere apart trying to find you's." The only options he sees are "Kill grandson" or "let grandson kill me." He doesn't even fucking try to find a third option. The Bondsmith doesn't even try to reinforce the most important bonds of all: those of his own damn family.* Had he been able to get through to Gav, and to in turn persuade Gav to surrender, he could have so easily won everything. *note of course this isnt surprising how shit he treats his entire family considering he hated, verbally abused and eventually murdered his wife, (who nobody forced him to marry btw) and also neglected his sons, and even when he got "better" he still had a clear favourite in adolin and continued to pretend renarin didnt exist because he had seizures i guess. the moment renarin revealed himself as truthwatcher, suddenly dalinar is like holy shit i forgot about this one. anyway, he decides to pass the entire problem on to the next generation. but not before making the absolutely batshit decision to abandon his oaths, allowing Odium to kill the Stormfather and assume true supervillain status. and, through the killing the Stormfather, he has also allowed the planet to be stripped of its most important resource, not just for the Radiants, but for the world economy. Dalinar has single-handedly undone centuries of societal progress. he makes the most self-centered decision he can possibly make, and fucks everyone else in the process. And all of Roshar is going to hail him as a hero for it. (see: wit going holy shit hes a genius just so people can continue to dick ride him is insane bruv) its literally like "wow! he made the situation worse 100x, kills himself and leaves it for the next generation! what a hero!” ????? in this world when old people leave shit for us younger generations ,we hate them usually..

other thoughts: this is more of a personal Hot take but I believe that the Cosmere with its characters and lore that connect brandons different stories works best when it's kept as a simple framing device. as his stories have expanded to includ more and more characters from different worlds, it feel like he loses focus on the important character of those stories. it also leads to a lot more bloat and is probably the reason that this is his longest book yet.

theres also a problem i noticed in this book especially of strange modern language being used a lot, making me think perhaps an editor does not exist..? (i cant remember if the previous books had this problem) examples: "literally" (i never saw that used before) "therapy/therapist" you can claim wit introduced them to this words but idk... "alcohol" instead of wine like previous books. randomly mentioned is "200 proof alcohol" huh? when the fuck they start doin that? lift using the word "hot" to say attractive, again, has never been used in this way before. kaladin randomly says "okay", nobody has ever said okay before. there can be something said for the word “awesome” being used (100% by lift) the way it is. the first version of awesome used was to indicate horror or fear, as opposed to our modern use to indicate amazement. lift uses this modern version, and compared with nobody else using the word awesome ever, its very jarring

in wind and truth, both sigzil and child killer break their oaths and kill their spren for some greater good (?) however, in the same book and literally the same day, szeth casually releases his spren from their bond and his spren does not go deadeyed and is perfectly fine. are you telling me this entire time the radiants couldve just "i release you from your oaths" and the spren wouldve been fine? nobody tried that ever? they just immediately jumped to, "i renounce my oaths" rather than a more kinder "i release you from your bond". granted, the radiants from 4k years ago didnt know the spren would go deadeyed, but i still dont understand why they never tried that out of curiosity. not to mention, renouncing your oaths required you to genuinely believe that. also, szeth easily releasing his spren from the bond and not killing him makes sigzil and dalinars decision more stupid

correct me if im wrong, but im pretty sure may aladar isnt among the women adolin was sexist to in the first few books, so as far as i can remember shes introduced in wind and truth. why the fuck is her name may, when we already have an established character whose nickname is maya??? no joke, i literally got confused multiple times on which may/a was talking.. you are writing a fantasy book and have 74 billion options for names and you pick one thats one letter off from an established character

writing in world swear words is all well and good but i dont understand what type of swear "storms" (and other storm words) is supposed to be when everybody and their mother will say it for anything and everything, so it makes me think its a "mild" swear word like crap or frick, but then there are times when it sounds more like a "fuck" like for example in rhythm of war and lirin is trying to stop kaladin from fighting and possibily getting his family killed , kaladin says "storm you" (which first of all, kinda cringe i aint even gone lie) which SOUNDS like a "fuck you" moment, but again, everybody uses "storm" for everything and everyone so i just dont understand what type of swear word it is. take it from someone who swears like a sailor- in books (and other media) i think swears should only be used when they could have a real impact. if "storm" etc was replaced with "fuck" and "shit" etc i imagine there might even be complaints about how, perhaps, immature the characters sound when they are swearing all the time. i think "storm" shouldve been used a LOT less than it was, because it was hard to tell what kind of emotion (?) the character had when they were using it, and again idk the severity of the word in the moment when it is used

why does mayalaran talk so modernly? the last time she was alive was 4 thousand years ago, she should be speaking the equivalent of ye olde english (hell, the language the people spoke 4k years ago was described as a whole different language) and people having a hard time understanding her and vise versa, but for some reason she speaks their modern common tongue extremely well, even calling adolin a slut at some point. where did she learn to speak their modern language? shes been practically unconscious for 4 thousand years with no one teaching her that. on that note, why does everyone in the visions speak again ,perfect modern common tongue? apparently with child killers bondsmith powers he can understand them, but this doesnt explain why in other POVs they also understand them perfectly

this is a little nitpick but the pursuer was written kinda shit. so youre telling me this guy has made a tradition in hunting down humans that killed him? ...so hes been killed by humans multiple times before enough for him to make it a tradition? it doesnt make him seem competent or scary at all if hes so easily killed… instead, it wouldve been better if kaladin was the first human that killed him, and it enraged him so much that he demanded to be the only one to kill him, thus turning him into the pursuer. otherwise, i feel like i can take on this guy with a kitchen knife lol

END: im going to end this essay by quoting a review i saw on storygraph (who then quoted it from reddit) which pretty much summarises the main problem with these books: "A book needs to be able to stand on its own, not just be a vehicle to provide context for previous novels and propel future novels."

[tothestarsinvelaris]

I finished HOFAS (finally oh my goodness) and honestly .... I'm so glad its over

(a long and ranty post with spoilers fyi)

best parts of hofas and crescent city in general (the bonus chapters were honestly so good):

Nesta and Azriel being badass, seeing more of their powers and fighting

Azriel enjoying club music and heavy metal

Nesta asking Bryce to show them how the phones worked and implying that the IC sat there with the phone for who knows how long trying to figure it tf out

Ember not being scared of Rhys at all and standing up to him, her scolding him for giving Nesta such a hard time, her starting to heal Nesta's mommy issues.

Ember seeing Nesta through the portal and saying "is that one of the princes of Hel??" (lmao I laughed so hard tbh)

Any scene at all that involved Ruhn. Specifically Ruhn and Lidia

RUHN AND LIDIA'S BONUS CHAPTER!!!! Ruhn being a little soft boy crying and just being so in love ugh

Lidia's sons being impressed by Ruhn and making sure he would take care of their mom

Lidia threatening to shoot Ruhn in the head if he got in the way of her saving her sons (tbh, facts)

the rest of that book was ..... not good I fear 😬

bc I'm sorry, you're telling me that she opened a black hole to eat another black hole; Hunt was able to stand at the edge of it without getting sucked in, then gets into a mechsuit and can just jump in and save her. Then all their friends use their magic and love to keep the portal to the black hole open while Hunt carries Bryce out of it; Bryce dies but oh look at that, Hypaxia showed up out of nowhere and used her extra cool magic powers as the new Head of House of Flame and Shadow to pull the ol' switcheroo and trade Bryce's soul (somehow) for Jesiba's and then poof Bryce is alive again and cracking her chessy, not funny jokes immediately when everyone is literally sobbing around her bc she was dead????? hello ???

and when Tharion showed up with the water and Hunt's lightning is apparently ineffective because of the water, but the HOSAB he was afraid to use his lightning in the water because it would have fried everyone that was in it????

and Bryce ditches Azriel and Nesta to fight the wyrm and then is confused why they're mad at her and don't trust her fr?? she doesn't explain anything to them and is confused when they figure out the power she has and that she has the horn tattooed in her back and want to bring her to Rhys to talk?? she lets a creepy Asteri woman out of her 15000 year old tomb to ask her questions and is then mad when Nesta kills her bc she wanted to ask more questions?!?! she steals the Starsword from Azriel and is confused when they draw their weapons on her too?! She steals Truth-Teller and then opens a portal back to her own world and is like "oops, hope they'll forgive me! teehee!" ?!?!?!?!?! and then has the audacity to assume that Nesta will just give her the damn mask of death because she asked nicely!??! shit, she's lucky she got Nesta when she was alone and used her parents as bargaining chips to somebody with mommy and daddy issues bc anyone else would have either killed her or told her to fuck off.

we had like 8 really uncomfy and not good sex scenes between Bryce and Hunt where their magic was exploding and combining all over the place and it lasted like 4 seconds, but they're both just like "wow this is the best sex that has ever sexed!! we're so cool and special and anyone else who has sex is icky and gross!!" 😬

we could have taken away half of their scenes and replaced them with more detail on much more interesting characters such as Ruhn, Lidia, Ithan, Tharion, etc etc.

Especially more Ruhn and Lidia bc they were so damn cute and the only emotional investment I had in this entire series. I am a crier when it comes to books. Like, I sobbed during a lot of the emotional scenes in both TOG and ACOTAR. The only time I cried at all during the entire CC series was when Ruhn is trying to sacrifice himself to Pollux to save Lidia's sons and mind speaks to her that he loves her and that his soul fell in love with her and that his soul will find her in the next life. Like hello?? that's adorable and heart-wrenching and we deserved more of them!!!

And like....

Bryce honestly just wasn't it. She was so impulsive, so childish, so sassy and cocky and we didn't get enough background on her at any point in the series for it to make sense. We didn't get to see times where her sassiness and cockiness were challenged or proved useful to her in any way, we didn't get to see any backstory that made it make sense why she built up that exterior to protect her vulnerability. She does impulsive things and endangers the people around her, that she cares about the most, and then gets confused or upset when they aren't happy about it. She goes around acting like she's smarter than everyone else, is entitled to what she wants, and then gets irritated if people try to challenge her or don't want to go along with what she's asking.

I have really liked all of sjm's other female characters, Nesta and Aelin included, but Bryce just... wasn't it.

Nesta is a good comparison too bc I went back and forth on her as a character, then read ACOSF and didn't like her at all for the first 1/3 to half of the book, then realized that I was the problem and that she was coping with things in her own way and it wasn't my place to determine how someone can heal from their traumas, which lead to me really liking her as a character and respecting the strength she has.

Aelin I liked the entire time, but she also had a reputation to back up her behavior and personality, she had a backstory that we learned about that explained why she came off as impulsive and didn't share her plan with the people around her, she proved over and over again how badass she was, so when she was cocky it just made sense.

We didn't get any of those things with Bryce which made it really difficult to relate to her and not find her kind of annoying the majority of the time.

Also...

I never want to read the word "alphahole" ever again.

I never want to read a character unironically referring to themselves as the "Super Powerful and Special Magic Starborn Princess".

I'm just... so glad its over.

[gothark]

My Review of Jay's Gay Agenda...

...and why it only went downhill from here.

My first problem with this book were the characters. Basically every character (with a few exceptions - Albert) were gross Stereotypes and just... bad people. The Author tries to play it off, that just because you behave in some stereotypical ways does not make you a Stereotype, which would have worked if the characters had any character outside of being a Stereotype. Instead all the main character (Jay) thinks about is what he could do with other boys, statistics and... Ru Paul's Drag Race. Sometimes he thinks about his friends too I guess but 90% of the time he is selfish and ignorant to the people around him.

Next point - the writing. If you told me this was written by a 12 year old on wattpad I would believe you. It's cheesy, cringey and makes the characters come across as young and immature, which does not mix well with the sex positivity going on in many parts of this book. Reading a sex scene between Jay, who reads no older at 14 at the best of times, and Tony, who is your typical college frat bro who is 'not relationship material', was very uncomfortable.

And my last point, how Jay is a cheater and the book celebrates that fact. Jay meet Albert on his first day at a new school and has an instant crush. Great. Good for him. A few days later Jay gets taken to a Drag Show by his new friend, and gay guide, Max, who introduces him to Tony. Instantly Jay also has the hots for Tony. Jay proceeds to go on dates with Albert and Tony literally one day after the other, being encouraged by Max because 'you aren't in a relationship'. It's gross. Jay is double teaming both guys without either of them knowing about the other, meanwhile playing down his relationship with Tony because 'it's just physical' fully Intending to date Albert and not drop Tony until Albert explicitly asks him out. So while going on cute dates with Albert and getting asked to homecoming by him and having serious and vulnerable conversations Jay is getting railed by a college aged frat bro (who is also a serial cheater) and getting encouraged that this is the right behavior by Max. Even at the big climax where it comes out what he did Albert is really only mad that Jay lied about it.

In conclusion: I would not recommend this book to anyone who wants to have a good time. If you want to feel like peeling your own skin off though, go right ahead.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Tonal Whiplash

Ok, y'all...the freaking NUMBER of things I've heard about this novella. I've heard that it's an adorable fluffy Christmas book. I've heard it's utter trash and should be skipped. How did nobody mention the goddamn tonal whiplash???

Also, as a gal raised in Alaska...I'm kind of not psyched about the elision of solstice and Christmas. Those are two different things. And then Feyre gets is mega super special because it's ALSO her birthday. I almost headdesked into oblivion over that, not gonna lie. Ok, enough intro, let's talk A Court of Frost and Starlight.

I guess I'll put my usual SPOILER WARNING here, but honestly? My TLDR is just skip this one, so do you where spoilers are concerned.

This is also going to be a rant review, so if you loved this book, I respectfully recommend that you give this review a pass. You're not going to have a good time.

So...there's an outside chance that the fact that I read A Court of Silver Flames before ACOFS colored how repetitive and flat this book felt, because with very few exceptions, all the Nessian stuff in this book is repeated information. Like...we got the fleshed-out scenes of Nesta at the party, and we are told that yes, Cassian knows about the drinking and the sex. But otherwise...this is just kind of unnecessary expansion on what we got in ACOSF. And it wasn't even SATISFYING because there was no resolution, there was just a deeply wounded Nesta and a bunch of people who can see there's a problem but who aren't helping--and in a lot of cases (glares in Rhys and Amren) are actively judging.

Also, I'm a grown-ass adult, and I have enough family awkwardness at holidays in real life, I SUPER DID NOT NEED IT in a romantasy series. I fully admit this is a me issue, so your mileage may vary. I also can't say that I didn't think Feyre and Rhys were pushing so hard for a happy solstice that it pole vaulted over the line of toxic positivity and weirdly toxic expectations. If I have to give Rhys the benefit of any doubt, I suppose yes, he might be dealing with some under the mountain trauma about, as Feyre thinks, whatever Amarantha did to him for almost 50 years, and probably trauma from literally dying at the end of the war with Hybern. But um...expecting the entire inner circle and their SO's and siblings to behave exactly how he wants them to for this holiday is STILL TOXIC. You kind of don't get to decide that YOU need EVERYONE ELSE to behave in or feel a specific way just so that you feel better. Az and Cass also do a little bit of this related to their own traumas, but Rhys is far an away the worse offender in this particular instance.

In a plot structure kind of way, I can see what the novella was trying to do. It's totally fair to say that people's experiences and trauma can and do color how they feel and behave and how they perceive and experience holidays. That's a valid thing to explore. And honestly, after ACOWAR, we needed some time for these characters to work through their experiences and trauma. Unfortunately, we kinda don't actually get that??? We just get this slice of life of traumatized toxicity at a massive holiday.

We do get a little bit of Feyre...figuring out her painting hangup and deciding to art therapy Velaris's kids, and again, in principle, this is a very valid thing to spend time and space exploring. The execution just...wasn't there for me. The weaver who made hope in the void was more interesting to me than Feyre's working through her trauma via creativity.

The Elain, Azriel, Lucien thing was...actively awkward and painful, which I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be, so Nailed It.

Mor had exactly one question about herself in this book and honestly nothing else to do. Talk about squandered character potential. At some point she actually needs to DEAL with her shit with Eris and her father (and by extension Az and Cass), but we just...aren't. So at this point deal with it or move on, and I don't care which.

The annual snowball fight was clearly supposed to be endearing and childlike. That might have landed a little better if Mor and Feyre weren't over here actively side-eying it, because I agreed with them that it was almost too stupid for words.

Also...Feyre remains a dick to Luciens. He is TELLING YOU THAT HE FEELS DISCONNECTED AND KICKED OUT, FEYRE, and you're over here going "omfg what even is this exiles bullshit?" This is also part of why Nesta is going to spend the whole next book building a girl squad that has nothing to do with the inner circle, because this attitude of "everything that ISN'T the inner circle is inherently lesser" is really high-handed and arrogant.

Add to that Rhys being an absolute dick to Tamlin while he's CLEARLY not ok and I'm not like...terribly sympathetic to the 500-year old high lord who was trained to lead judging a guy with no support for doing his best and fucking shit up. Rhys and Tamlin need to go to neutral corners and never contact again; that's just going to need to be the new status quo. The whole "protective male" bullshit has officially gone too far.

We did not need a full page around Amren disliking having to pee. I'm sorry, we just didn't.

So overall...I kind of wish I'd skipped this book. I got tonal whiplash, I got "oh god too real" about awkward family gatherings at holidays, and I got "holy shit, someone SEE that Nesta needs support," without real closure on any of it. The only closure we got was Feyre tying off the suriel's last words and flip flopping on whether or not she wants to be all barefoot and pregnant. I did not enjoy this book. I understand its utility, but the execution did not make the utility worthwhile in my opinion.

[roselinbooks-archive]

We may be 1/3 of the way through the book, but we're only 1/5 of the way through the numbered chapters! More importantly, the harpy shrills of the Charmed Ones from Obscurus Lupa's Charmed reviews returns in this chapter and will become a reoccurring bit throughout the reading. Fans of silliness, rejoice!

[mayomalice]

midnight sun • twilight

6/10

I'd like to start this review by saying this: i am not a knuckle cracker. but if i was, i would be cracking them before i begin my review.

lets get into it starting with the pros of this book before i rip into it with the cons.

for the most part i actually thoroughly enjoyed this book, there were several moments that made me giddy having been able to see it through Edward's perspective, such as being able to get brief glances into other peoples heads and know what they were thinking in that moment, because.. that's literally his power. it brought forth several short almost witty moments- some of them i believe to be unintentional, such as a descriptor for jasper in a moment to be 'and jasper was... suffering.'.

while i am aware of Edward and Bella's relationship being not all that healthy, that doesn't prevent me from loving them together. (because to be frank there are far worse pairings out there). For a lack of better words and words that make me cringe just at the thought of typing, once again, the movies really fail to show how much rizz Edward has. like he was seducing me to be honest, and i'm not even remotely attracted to men.

other than those pros that will conclude the positive section of this review, as i've listed in other book reviews for the series a lot of the same positives apply to this one. that being said, i don't wish to retype all of that once again.

lets move on to the negatives this book had for me.

firstly, Edward is extremely broody. to an eye rolling extent. while yes, i have been aware of that from reading the entire original series, and having watched the movies hundreds of times.. it still doesn't make it any less irritating when he's constantly saying things like 'Bella deserves someone better than me' 'Bella shouldn't be with someone who's killed people (COUGH, rapists).. etc.

secondly, from roughly page 568 until the final page, 658, i hated almost everything i was reading.

the entire scene where they're trying to get Bella out of danger is truly a frustrating read. Edward is a moron who refuses to listen to Alice who's trying to diffuse both him and the situation at hand, which in turn worries Bella further.. Emmet is unsure of what to do as he's sat in the backseat with a now even more stressed Bella.. Edward being no help at all like i said previously as he refuses to pull over so Alice can tell him what they should do for way longer than what should've been touched on within that chapter.

furthermore the car chase scene was torturous to read. why is it that with only a single apart am i being told that the car is driving at 150 m/ph? twice? why is it that you continue to tell me the car is going '160' '170' '180.'... that detail is entirely unnecessary when all that truly needed to be said was something like 'the car was continuing to increase in speed rapidly'.

my next massive complaint has to do with Carlisle and licence losing medical malpractice on his part. now, i love Carlisle. it's not so much about HIM, but mores about stephanie's idiocy regarding topics that she clearly did NOT research before including them in her novel. (something which is not new for her and her writing at all).

the complaints are as follows:

1. the 'she's lost some blood' comment. no shit. both you and Edward are actively kneeling in the pool of her blood which she's actively laying in. she's lost more than 'some blood'.

2. WHYYYY are you doing sutures outside of a hospital?? and how?? and where the fuck do you have to supplies- let alone sterile supplies to do so?? i understand that Carlisle is a doctor but that's not just something you have just chilling in your back pocket or in your car. so once again.. WHAT?

3. WHY do you have morphine on your person to treat Bella with.. morphine is an opioid, and there are legal restrictions that come with that.. as far as i'm aware you would not just have morphine on you, let alone a high enough dosage to treat Bella who has; 4 broken ribs, a broken leg, 2 open wounds on her head (which directly goes back to #2 of my complaints), and a body almost coated in bruising from head to toe. there is NO way.

4. Taping Bella's ribs. first of all, this is no longer a practice that is used as it makes it hard to take deep breaths, which bella was doing, because on top of everything she was also actively turning into a vampire.

5. i understand that they 'couldn't go to the hospital' because of the vampire turning on their hands, but they should've. if they truly had to keep Bella human, Edward should've sucked the venom out on the way to the hospital. in my opinion though, Bella should've just turned then and there. it would've saved everyone a world of trouble as well as once again, saving them the trip to the hospital entirely.

that's all for my medical malpractice complaints, now onto some more general complaints, i'll try to keep this short.

1. how did nobody in the small town of Forks notice the ballet studio having been lit on fire and burned to the ground? it's a small town, people are nosy, people would notice and come to see what's going on.

2. Bella was only kept in the hospital for 9 days despite her condition.

3. no obvious timeskip in the writing to show that Bella had recovered enough to be walking around and able to go to her school dance.

4. a lacklustre, disappointing ending. the final sentence literally being; 'as the night finally overcame the end of the day, i leaned forward again and kissed the warm skin of her throat.

with all that being said, up until the climax i did enjoy reading the book. it's not the best in the series at all, but at least it's not new moon.

[nadiareviews]

🎧"You, Again" by Kate Goldbeck

⭐

[asterebel]

I love watching rant reviews of books and films I have no intention of reading or watching just for the pleasure of being a hater

[dancingqueennintynine]

When I learned that the Villains Ever After Series was getting a Swan Lake story, I knew I had to read it. I expected this book to be a new favorite because I love classical ballet, and romance novels inspired by fairytales. However, after finishing this book in just under two days, I am sad to say that The Sorcerer and the Swan Princess is one of the most unromantic adaptation of Swan Lake I have read. By no means, am I upset with the Sorcerer, named Dietrich, being the love interest instead of the prince. It’s in the title. This creative twist was what interested me to begin with. However, Dietrich, despite the attempts to humanize him, is still not a charming love interest in the slightest. Ava is the heir to the throne of her kingdom, but has always had dreams to be a ballet dancer. However, she was forced to hang up her pointe shoes following an ankle injury. I liked this feature to Ava’s character both as a nod to the source material and because unfulfilled childhood dreams rips my heart strings right out.

Things finally start looking up for Ava when she receives a visit from an old friend, Prince Siegfried. But, everything changes when Dietrich the Sorcerer appears, turns Ava into a swan against her will, and kidnaps her despite her protest that she wants to go home. Maybe Dietrich has his reasons to do so, maybe he truly has Ava’s best interest at heart despite absolutely not respecting Ava’s autonomy. I personally found the reason to be flimsy. <spoiler> Ava’s twin sister, Lina, asked Dietrich to turn Ava into a swan and kill her so that she can take her place as queen. Dietrich turns her into a swan and kidnaps her instead. I recall Ava asking why he didn’t explain the situation and ask her to come with him instead, and Dietrich’s response is basically, “You would not have believed me”. I would still be bothered if he only kidnapped her, but he also denies Ava, her humanity and twists her body into something unrecognizable. Like, I would not give a man a second chance after that, even if he has a tragic sob story on top of the protecting from an evil twin excuse. </spoiler>

After the initial abduction, Dietrich does not respect Ava or even appears to take her seriously. Towards the middle of the story, Ava and Dietrich are having a very heated discussion, and Dietrich realizes the conversation is not getting anywhere. Ava only becomes more and more upset with him. A mature adult would remove themselves from the situation until both parties have a chance to calm down, but not Dietrich. He turns Ava into a swan again to shut her up. He says it’s because she needs to “cool off”. What I took away from the exchange is that A. Dietrich cannot take any criticism, even if said criticism is the result of his poor communication. B. he is more powerful than Ava and he wants her to know it.

Any efforts to make the characters fall in love just feels forced after this even when Dietrich realizes Ava’s mindreading ability hasn’t been working and finally explains himself. Ava forgives Dietrich, because the premise of the Swan Princess and the Sorcerer falling in love needs to happen not because they had genuinely good chemistry.

Finally, and this is probably is not even a problem, but I am a little confused that some major characters are renamed from the ballet, but others are not. The sorcerer character, Rothbart, is called Dietrich, and the characters filling the roles of Odette and Odile are named Ava and Lina, but the prince's name is still Siegfried.

Okay, I clearly need to calm myself down before some hot sorcerer turns me into an emu and makes me calm down.

Any Swan Lake adaptions I would recommend instead? The issue is I have not read any other books where Ava and Dietrich become a couple. However, an excellent romance book that is more of an adaptation of Robin Hood with Swan Lake elements is The Huntress of Thornbeck Forest by Melanie Dickerson.