#rant review

[ur-mousey]

~ Ground Zero ~

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Hey, I'm Sydney ♡ 20 ♡ She/Her ♡

☉♓︎ . ☾♎︎ . ☊ ♋︎

Welcome to my decrepit lair filled with fantasies galore! I write yandere smut for the girlies, guys, and non-binary hoes.

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ig = lil.thoughts.xo Wattpad + A03 = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

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REQUESTS:

I take requests! There is a forum in the description of my profile. Please go there or I will not take your idea. DM only to further elabrote on your idea or if you want to get to know me. I am open to making friends.

Rant Post suggestions can be made if you want to hear my opinion about certain Fandoms. Get spicy with it 😏

RULES:

* Leave a description of the pairing in mind and their situation.

Ex: Yan! Sukuna x faun! reader + dark home * Please specify the gender of the reader! Or they will be written as I see fit. Most likely female. * I write Yandere non/con + dub/con content.

Without any other specifications to not include those topics, I will assume to write that in. * Don't Spam your requests. If you do, I will not follow through with your requests. * NO requests for incest.

* Stories with underage characters will be age appropriate. Or the characters will be aged up. * Kinks such as vore, scat, piss, etc. are off limits. I will not write them or anything similar.

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FANDOMS: links highlghted

Anime ~ * Jujutsu Kaisen * My Hero Academia * Blue Exorcist * Soul Eater * Attack on Titan * Hunter x Hunter * Haikyuu Random ~ * The Folk of Air Series * Class of '09 *The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey Original Works ~ Hireath - Rhin (tentacle monster) Teaser 1 Opinion Pieces ~ *Ghibli Movies + Anime Movies *Collar X Malice (otome games) *The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey

[archpoet77]

ok so I officially watched Kalki 2898 AD! Posting rant soon because woah was that a bad movie

[theboarsbride]

A Court of Thorns and Roses (Rant) Review.

Rating: 2⭐⭐/5 stars

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Length: 420 pages

Review: Soooo……..needless to say I really did not enjoy this book (nor did I ever really anticipate such because this was a hate-read and I cannot stand SJM as both an author and a person lmao). This is going to be a long rant review, and I know a lot of what I'll bring up has been brought up previously in other reviews, but I will still try to provide new insight nonetheless! This review will come in segments, and can be accessed beneath the cut.

ALSO!! There will be spoilers throughout this review. Don't read any further if you don't wish to be spoiled!

AND ALSO! This is merely my opinion. If you enjoy this series, AWESOME! I'm glad for you, this just isn't for me, and I, in good faith, cannot give this book a good review.

⚠️AND NOW CONTENT WARNINGS⚠️ There will be mentions of sexual assault and overall abusive and possessive behavior. I will mark parts of the review that mention these themes with an asterisks (*) so that you may avoid that content if you're not up for reading about it.

NOW ONTO THE REVIEW!!

1. What I liked - While this was still a hate-read I don't want to be a total downer and I wanted to find something about SJM's writing that I enjoyed. Granted there wasn't a lot, but they were still there!

- To start, I feel like SJM can write really interesting and tense action scenes. The opening scene with the killing of the wolf, the naga chase scene (which, like… why are we getting naga in this very clearly English/Celtic folklore-inspired world, and to never have similar creatures featured again?), the trials Under the Mountain, etc. Just, overall, the third act taking place Under the Mountain was so fun!! Like, it wasn't great and still riddled with SJM's writing and other uhhhh questionable stuff (we'll get there), but overall I enjoyed it so much more than the previous two-thirds of the book!

- There were also some romantic moments that I thought were really sweet, and I wish we saw more of that! I wish we saw more of Feyre and Tamlin’s relationship blossom more!

Now onto stuff I didn't like…..(there's a lot)

1. The Writing and Characters - I can't stand SJM's writing style. The obvious annoyance is her overuse of em dashes, and also ellipses. Both of these were so incredibly unnecessary in her work, and only distracted me, and slowed my reading.

- And also she reuses the same sentence structure, and it annoyed me once I noticed it (ex.- i was going to the bathroom, which was white and clean and shining. Then, I went to school, a place that was dull and bland and boring.) 

- Like jfc. I wholeheartedly believe the conspiracy that no one actually edits SJM's book because good LORD.

- I refuse to believe that SJM knows, or would even care to know, how to write believable poor people. I refuse to believe that Feyre’s family has been destitute for nearly a decade - because they sure as hell don’t come across like it. Feyre’s sisters, Elaine and Nesta, act so dainty and bitchy about work and survival despite living this way for ALMOST 10 YEARS. Their mentalities, how they react to being poor, how they treat their belongings, how they treat and handle their food, how they handle their money, etc. doesn’t line up for me. I just don’t buy it.

- Also in relation to this point: Feyre is weirdly quick to let Tamlin’s servants wait on her hand and foot. Her psychology, how she thinks, and engages with Tamlin’s manor around her doesn’t fit with someone who’s spent eight years living in violent poverty and starving.

- A bit of a nitpick but, it bothers me that SJM writes Feyre as a painter yet I, for the life of me, couldn't tell you what her style is, how her artwork looks, or even what ANY piece of art looks like in this world. Feyre talks about her artistic eye and all that, but to me that description means nothing. Being a painter and liking art does nothing for Feyre's character, it's such a useless detail when it could be something that adds depth to her character and shows the reader how she views art, how she views the world, etc. This just shows me that SJM did nothing to research art, styles, and mediums, nor does she actually care about her character writing enough to utilize art as a way to elevate Feyre as a character.

- The pacing is so boring. It’s just painfully slow and stuff that could be exciting is skimmed over and never elaborated on, and all that really happens for the first two-thirds of the book is just Feyre vibing (and being passive aggressive towards) Tamlin and Lucien.

2. This is a fairytale retelling? - This book has EVERYTHING I absolutely loathe about modern day fairytale retellings - more specifically retellings of Beauty and the Beast.

- It fails as a retelling, in general, because it completely misses the point of the fairytaleS (there are multiple going on in ACOTAR) and ends up being a shallow husk of these classic tales.

- ACOTAR markets itself as a retelling of several fairytales: Beauty and the Beast, East of the Sun, West of the Moon (a Norwegian variant of BatB featuring a 'beast' that is a polar bear by day and a handsome prince by night), Eros & Psyche (a Greek myth that's widely accepted as one of the original versions of the 'monster bride-groom' narrative framework), and the Ballad of Tam-Lin (a Scottish folktale that features a man cursed by a queen of faeries). And yet I feel like it fails all of these stories, primarily Beauty and the Beast. BatB is a story about kindness and love, and loving someone for who they are as opposed to what they look like, and ACOTAR embodies the very thing I hate about modern retellings of this story: a ‘beast’ that is outwardly handsome and the only ‘beastly’ thing about him is being hypermasculine, aggressive, toxic, and cruel while offering little opportunities of redemption. Except, Tamlin isn’t necessarily all of those things. Conventionally hot and hypermasculine, yes, but he’s been nothing but gracious and nice to Feyre. And WHY is he named ‘Tamlin’, obviously being named after the titular Tam-Lin from Scottish folklore, and SJM does nothing to give this story a ‘Scottish flair’? Which brings me to my next point:

3. Worldbuilding - There is nothing about this world that convinces me that this is unique. It does nothing to differentiate itself from other fantasy worlds, or even our modern world! You can tell that there are medieval and Rococo/Georgian Europe influences, but that’s only in fashion and aesthetics. But the faeries?

- To me, they’re nothing more than conventionally attractive people with pointy ears and MAYBE magic. Tolkien elves, pretty much! Like, deadass, I pictured Tamlin looking like Legolas but jacked as fuck (AND WHY COULDN’T WE GET MORE OF TAMLIN’S BEAST FORM!?!?!?!? UUGHH!!!! BIG SAD!!). There were so few, like… FAERIE faeries, and whenever there were any the only indicators SJM would offer are differing skin tones, sharp teeth, claws, wings, etc. They just felt so uninspired and lazy (teetering between underdeveloped spectral entities or LOTR elves) … why write about faeries if you’re not going to put in the effort to flesh them out as FAERIES? I once saw someone say that what SJM is doing to faeries is what Stephanie Meyer did to vampires and honestly??? I agree.

- I will forever be bitter that SJM decided to write about faeries and did NOTHING new with fae lore.

- *I know this gets explained a little more in the second book (which… I will get to that when I write my ACOMAF review because i’ve thoughts) but what exactly is this world’s religious system? Because you never get a good feel for it. I say this because several times Lucien mentions ‘Hell’, as in capital ‘h’ Hell - Christian Hell. Why would he say this when humans are agnostic/athiest with a sparse numbr of fae-worshiping cults (and were once implied to have had a polytheistic religion that differs from our world’s Christianity) and fae worship the Cauldron and other faerie deities so like.....why would SJM not use a few extra braincells to create her own version of Hell rather than using lazy cultural shorthand that, by the logic of this book's world, doesn't work???? And this is a recurring theme in ACOTAR: lazy, underdeveloped, under explained world-building.

- *This might just be me but I hate the fated mates trope in this series. It just seems like a way to sexualize domestic abuse, and it doesn’t allow me to enjoy seeing a budding relationship to develop if we’re told that these two characters are SUPPOSED to be together and are MEANT to be in love and have sex!! (also a me thing: the way SJM sexualizes stuff is a personal ick… her ships are built more upon sex and sexual attraction rather than romantic feelings, which just isn’t for me and makes me struggle to believe people to actually be in love despite how much the author tries to convince me of such). Also the violent gender essentialism and heteronormativity :( ….it only gets worse in the second book.

- Why must we refer to everyone as male and female??? I would give this a pass if the faeries were more faerie and less human but… these fae are just humans with pointy ears, so I am deeply uncomfortable by the constant use of ‘male’ and ‘female.’ (I’m convinced that SJM is into omegaverse erotica, and I’d honestly have more respect for her if she just wrote straight-up, shameless omegaverse erotica rather than trying to write a vaguely developed fantasy story that fails to deliver on the epic plot it’s trying to sell to me.)

4. Feyre - She is a dumb protagonist (and I blame the author). She is dumb and deserves death - and you can tell that this is a plot-convenience brand of stupidity, unfortunately. Like the instance with the Puca. She suddenly sees her crippled father on Tamlin's land in Prythian in the middle of the night??? Given the wary hostility and aggression and distrust she's been displaying towards everyone and everything so far in Prythian, why isn't she doing the same in this instance???? She's said herself she is wary of faerie tricks, and acknowledged that not even whole, able-bodied humans are able to survive in Prythian without the help of a faerie, so why would she think her disabled father, who is helpless in the mortal realm, be any different??? And why would she care that her father has come for her??? Did she not wish that her family starves without her, so that they realize she's important to them and she holds them in such an embittered contempt?????

- Tamlin and Feyre have no chemistry. It just feels like I should be shipping them because this is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast and all that, but I just don't. SJM is relying heavily on a fairytale framework while also doing nothing to even try to convince me that these two characters are meant to be together. Their relationship is so dry and it feels like the attraction comes from nowhere, and only starting with physical attraction - which, to me, goes against the message of BATB, of loving someone for who they are rather than what they look like. The two of them, respectively, have more chemistry with Lucien than each other. Hell, why not make them a throuple???🤨 now THAT I'd ship because all three have banter, and any interaction with Lucien is so much fun to read.

- Also……how the fuck did Feyre not figure out Amarantha’s riddle?

5. *Rhysand - Yes. He gets his own section because I HATE him - and I HATE that he is destined to be the endgame love interest. He is a character we’re meant to root redemption for but I fucking refuse. And this is why.

- Rhysand has the perfect set up to be a scary asf villain, not a love interest. We will talk more about Rhysand and why he and Feyre are a ship I refuse to get behind, but that will be reserved for future updates. 

- For now: Rhys is great for a scary villain! He is night incarnate, he has snark, he has an imposing presence, and he can invade the minds of others......and he invades Feyre's mind, which she described as being immensely uncomfortable and painful, and she is afraid. Mind you, he does this without her consent. Keep in mind that everything he does beyond this point is without her consent and he is doing it as himself and for his own gain, not the influence of love pollen or magic. He is doing it while totally aware and sober. That's why he is a horrible person and a creep.

- He does many things without Feyre’s consent. He tortures, assaults, drugs, and harms her all without consent without anything else compelling his will other than himself.

- He forces her into a deal in which she is to spend one week a month in the Night Court with him, and he does this by twisting and pulling her broken arm when she refuses. He drugs and assaults her by making her drink faerie wine (which she refuses to drink as she was warned against doing so), dresses her scantily clad AGAINST HER WILL, covers her in paint so he knows where people all touch her AGAINST HER WILL, and makes her perform lap dances until she gets sick and then makes her all do it again AGAINST HER WILL. After catching her and Tamlin stealing a moment, he pushes her against a wall and kisses her WITH TONGUE to make it seem like he was the one that muddied the paint on her body rather than Tamlin. All of this he’s done AGAINST HER WILL.

- Have I mentioned how he does this against her will yet??? Did I emphasize enough that Rhysand does all this to Feyre without her consent???

- Rhysand is an evil creep that I refuse to redeem. What he did for Feyre Under the Mountain is awful and not at all deserving of redemption. And I don’t care if he says ‘I did this to help defeat Amarantha and save my court’ or ‘I did it to make Tamlin more mad and to kill Amrantha instantly’ or ‘I did it for your own good.’ I don’t fucking care, those are the excuses of an abuser. He didn’t need to literally torture and assault her.

- Also, on that note: why does he do this for the sake of making Tamlin more mad? Like??? Tamlin saw his court be cursed, he was sexually harassed by Amarantha ever since he was a child, and he witnessed Amarantha torture a woman he loves. Why would he need anything more to make him kill Amarantha faster? This argument fails to work for me. Fuck you, Rhysand, I hate you.

6. *Calanmai - This gets its own section because it’s just… so messy, and I wish to blame SJM for it’s messiness because the characters are all victims to her insensitive, careless writing.

- This is a very weird scenario??? Because, let's be frank, Tamlin assaulted Feyre and Feyre is a victim... HOWEVER. on multiple occasions she is told by FAERIES THAT HAVE EONS OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS WORLD, THEIR CULTURES, CUSTOMS, AND ACCOMPONYING DANGERS to stay in her room and that this is not safe for humans, especially her once the Great Rite occurs because Tamlin will be drawn to her. But she goes against these warnings, going to the festival and leaving her room before dawn. 

- HOW DUMB ARE YOU FEYRE??!?!?!?!?! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID???!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?! JUST UUGGHHH!!!!!!!! 

- And then there's Tamlin. With how the Great Rite is explained, it's like he is possessed by some springtime magic so that he is a vehicle for said magic? So the scene where he pins Feyre and bites her is almost set up like he both is and isn't possessed? It's more like he's drunk off of love pollen?? I don't know, but to me I think that both are and are not at fault - they are because Feyre didn't listen to SEVERAL warnings in a situation that is obviously unsafe for her and Tamlin could've prepared better by explaining things to her and setting up safeguards, and they aren't because Feyre is a victim and Tamlin is being possessed by a power that's greater him (which is kind of implied to be something he really doesn't want to do). Again, this is a very weird and highly uncomfortable situation - both are victims to SJM’s writing.

- Ultimately, the situation of Calanmai is poorly written and handled on SJM's behalf. It feels like her trying to eroticize a moment of assault, which in of itself is gross (bear in mind that this was initially published as a YA novel - and I initially read it as a YA novel in middle school), and to introduce Rhysand, the second half of this love triangle, which there are so many other ways this could've been done. And the fact that the assault is brushed off and treated like a friendly joke without having actual discussion about it makes it worse. - This is arguably the most 'fae' thing in this book so far? Like it feels so fae because of connections to celebrating springtime and fertility, and drinking and festivals, but at the same time this just feels like an oversexualization of traditional pagan beliefs by being a massive orgy?

- Just. Ew. Sarah J Mass, you’re gross for writing a moment like this and not being responsible enough to execute this concept with more nuance.

7. The Ending - This is really brief, but boooooo to Feyre being resurrected with all the powers of all the High Lords. :(

- (Also I know that Rhysand hints at him and Feyre being mates and uugghhh kill me now)

So these are my main thoughts regarding ACOTAR… It’s a fantasy romance that should be advertised more for it’s romance than fantasy elements as the fantasy-action takes a major backseat and acts more as a subplot to the main romance. It’s a fantasy world that is underdeveloped and is full to the brim of underutilized lore. It butchers existing faerie lore, and leaves much to be desired. Characters are unlikeable and stupid, and the only thing that got me through this book was Lucien.

SJM I do not like you, and I cannot wait to return to write about my hate for ACOMAF.

[roselinbooks]

Sorry this week's episode is late, Friday was kind of crazy busy @_@ but it's up now!!

I cannot believe that it took ninteen chapters to get to an official trial in this death tournament. Applicable advice for writers: Please just write what you want instead of trying to shoehorn in a plot you clearly don't care about.

[kikis-dump]

The concept of the overlord always confused me.

He is described as darkness and evil itself. While I have no problem with an unsympathetic villain, the plot of Ninjago has always focused more on a sense of balance especially in the later seasons such as the existance of the Oni and Dragons. So I find it very hard to accept that they make the Overlord a primordial being representing everything evil when the Oni already exist representing destructon- not that Oni are evil (Mystake I love you) but they already represent a side considered dark.

Yes, I know that the Overlord is an already established character from the very first seasons of Ninjago so even if they wanted to change what they said about him, it wouldn't be easy but I wish they involved a backstory for him? Not really but c'mon Ninjago- give me more than just a simple "I was born from darkness"

WHY...WERE YOU BORN FROM DARKNESS? Were you the previous "God" of Ninjago before the first spinjitsu master came? Was Ninjago that "evil" of a realm that the overlord came into being? Did the first spinjitsu master make some big mistake for you to manifest?

(After asking myself that question I went to the wiki and saw that the overlord was born out of darkness because Ninjago was created so what if because of FSM's desperation to make a peaceful world he didn't know th consequemces to that and then the overlord came into being. Man I wish this was canon and they explained it in the show....)

Did you create Wojira or were YOU her? I don't know give me something especially with how complex Ninjago made the Dragon and Oni lore :((((

This is probably Crystalized's fault for messing up the lore so much but I persinally like making sense of canon even when it DOESN'T make sense overall- I mean fanfics and headcanons exist!!!

Continue if you want Headcanons that possibly- most likely don't make sense. They're just Ideas that I thought of that seem cool.

1. Personally, I like thinking that the Overlord is the Oni's leader and not that pushover Oni Lloyd and Garmadon fought in March of the Oni. Like, the Oni migrated right? There were no more Oni in the first realm when the Ninja came and clearly they left a long time before season 9 happened.

Ooohh what if March of the Oni happened cayse the Oni were trying to prepare for the Overlord.

I know this headcanon makes it look like I'm saying the Oni are a one dimentional race but it's just cool if both Oni and dragon (cause there's ultra) came to Ninjago to look for FSM anf while Oni were missing (?) the dragons befriended his sons. Idk it sounds cute.

2. I noticed while watching some Ninjago clips that the Overlord looks like a combination of a dragon and an Oni, like a dark dragon. I mean that's what he transforms into in season 2- Maybe this is why the Dragon and Oni were so desperate to get the FSM on their side cause before him the Overlord came, decided he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, nearly destroyed both species and then they banished him somewhere else.

Oh? You're saying I'm giving a supposedly unsympathetic villain a backstory when he isn't meant to have one? Ya so what? It's an interesting take if I do say so myself even if the FSM lore we're given contradicts me

I hope you can tell J like making bavkstories for no reason😭

[roselinbooks-archive]

Returning to my roots to rant about an SJM novel? Yep, must be getting close to summertime...

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have suffered. i have received unspeakable brain trauma. i have read sentences that i simply cannot unread. that's right, it's time for my chaotic review of verity by colleen hoover!

now i wrote an actual, proper review of this book that used paragraphs and real grammar, but this is tumblr. you're getting the bullet points, you're getting the sweary words, you're getting the dissolution of my sanity.

there's a lot of graphic and disturbing content in this book, so if you're bothered by that kind of thing, it might be best not to read.

the plot:

so our narrator, lowen ashleiggghghghg, is hired by this guy jeremy crawford to finish his wife verity's thriller book series bcus verity was in a car accident and is now profoundly disabled (can't move, can't talk, needs regular care, etc.)

she needs verity's notes and somehow ends up living in verity's house so she can spend literally all day going through verity's office. the only believable part of this is that a writer could be so disorganised that you'd need full days to try and go through all of their stuff

for some context, jeremy is apparently brooding (though i see like, 0 evidence of this) over his wife's accident as well as the deaths of his twin daughters chastin and harper

in verity's office, lowen finds a manuscript that looks like it's verity's autobiography

verity's autobiography starts as overly detailed jeremy smut and oh my fucking god i mean overly detailed i wish i could GOUGE my fucking EYES out this is just BAD PORN this book is like 90% porn 10% no-plot

anyway as this autobiography goes on, lowen is like. holy shit. verity is cuckoo bananas. she is OBSESSED with jeremy. she does that patrick star thing of "what do you when i'm at work all day?" "wait for you to get back :(". she wants to be jezza's ONLY focus and resents her daughters for taking his focus away

like, she tries to plan out her pregnancy so that she'll gain as little weight as possible, but then she finds out they're twins and she's like omg im RUINED and tries to miscarry and abort them

after they're born, she has a premonition of her daughter harper killing her other daughter, chastin (the only daughter she likes, verity fucking hates her kids but randomly starts loving chastin). chastin does in fact die of anaphylactic shock when she's around 8 and verity blames harper

jeremy won't fuck verity because he's so sad about his daughter's death, and verity is not having this, but through some twisted logic she's like maybe he'll be all out of grief if another daughter dies! so she kills harper and stages it as a canoe accident

back to lowen, she's reading this autobiography at an absolute snail's pace (like 1 short chapter a day) while also living with Hot Dad Jeremy (she's into him, especially after reading all that Jeremy Porn), this is most of the book tbh . a series of weird things happen that convince her that verity is faking her disability

lowen is also 100% convinced that verity is PURE FUCKING EVIL from this autobiography

fast forward, jeremy and lowen hook up (surprised pikachu face)

and yes, verity was faking being disabled, where is her OSCAR for that METHOD ACTING that fooled the HOSPITAL the NURSES for MONTHS!!! she didnt even flinch when lowen tried to startle her by literally throwing something across the room. daniel day-lewis is SHAKING

lowen shows jeremy the autobiography and jeremy starts choking verity

lowen is like, stop! they'll know u did it! think of ur son, he'll be fatherless!

actually you should kill him by making her puke instead so they'll think she just aspirated on her own vomit ;)

so jeremy does that instead because that's totally the most sensible option to do in this particular scenario

7 month timeskip and all is great because EVIL verity is DEAD and now lowen and jeremy can be together forever and they even have a new baby on the way bcus jeremy came inside her no condom and apparently every woman in this book is insanely fertile and gets pregnant on the first try

TWIST TIME!!!

they go back to verity and jeremy's house to finish clearing out their stuff

but... lowen finds a note in verity's room...

verity claims that the autobiography was just a writing example to help her write from an antagonistic perspective (her thriller series is notably written from the villain's POV)

jeremy found the autobiography and tried to choke verity to death, but when that failed, he set up her car accident, after which verity decided she had to fake being disabled so she could run away with their living son crew and eventually explain everything

but this plan is an F bcus shes fuckin dead now isnt she

so much effort and for WHAT

the book leaves us with the fucking stupid dry ass cliché question of: WHICH WAS THE REAL VERITY? WHAT WERE THE LIES? WAS THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY REAL OR NOT? and actually i dont give a flying fuck i was just glad to be done

my thoughts

the characters in the book make the most ridiculous and nonsensical decisions and trust me i can say that for sure bcus i have never made a good decision in my life

in the opening chapters, lowen witnesses a car accident & is splattered with blood on the way to her publisher meeting

she encounters jeremy (tho she doesnt know who he is yet) and he takes her to the men's bathroom of a coffee shop to get cleaned up

lowen tAKES HER SHIRT OFF IN FRONT OF THIS ABSOLUTE STRANGER

i am trying to ignore this red flag maybe shes just confident

jeremy proceeds to lock the door to the men's bathroom so that no one else can come in, and lowen finds this comforting! how chivalrous of mr sexy man jeremy!

WHAT THE FUCK LOWEN? HOW IS THIS COMFORTING? I'D BE FUCKING. I'D BE PANICKING SO BAD I'D BE OUT THE DOOR

later in the book we find out that lowen has a chronic sleepwalking problem and can even open inside locks when she's sleepwalking

she broke her wrist sleepwalking when she was a kid so it's not really safe for her to be able to get out and about while sleepwalking

jeremy offers to install a lock on the outside of lowen's bedroom door, so that she can't leave her bedroom without him opening the outside lock for her

instead of finding this FUCKING TERRIFYING

she's Thrilled by his generosity! wow! isn;t jeremy so kind and thoughtful?

lowen! LOWEN!!! GIRL!!!!!!!!!

lucky for her jeremy is apparently a nice guy so jeremy's fucking weird actions are glossed over and theyre so nice arent they... haha...

dude i wanna know what the fuck jeremy has that women are literally OBSESSED with him. hes so bland. he has no personality. he's a cardboard cutout of a man but apparently he has good dick idk

lowen is so besotted with jeremy that she doesnt think it's bad that he tried to kill his wife twice and then succeeded on the third try

no! it's actually so sweet because it proves how much of a dedicated father he is! he thinks verity killed harper so by killing her he's just being such a good and protective dad haha! murder is okay

there was also just way too much sex in this book like i said it before but truly i cannot encapsulate how much of this book was sex. and in case u were wondering about the quality of the sex, 50 shades author EL james is in the acknowledgements of this book.

how are people giving this book 5 stars? it's fucking. it's laughably bad. the plot is so stupid. the characters are boring. no-one makes a single good decision. jeremy is white bread. it's like, really really bad. i really need to know if the straights giving this book 5 stars need help, therapy, or jesus. if u do, please blink SOS in morse code, i will come and get u.

everyone who has a superiority complex because they've never read a single CoHo book is correct . u guys are doing great

[rosecorcoranwrites]

It's, like, confusing yet predictable?

Today, I rant about the (inexplicably) Academy Award winning screenplay of Gosford Park! Get ready for prosopagnosia, classism, unmotivated dialogue, "clues", classism, ham-fists, and CLASSISM!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Tonal Whiplash

Ok, y'all...the freaking NUMBER of things I've heard about this novella. I've heard that it's an adorable fluffy Christmas book. I've heard it's utter trash and should be skipped. How did nobody mention the goddamn tonal whiplash???

Also, as a gal raised in Alaska...I'm kind of not psyched about the elision of solstice and Christmas. Those are two different things. And then Feyre gets is mega super special because it's ALSO her birthday. I almost headdesked into oblivion over that, not gonna lie. Ok, enough intro, let's talk A Court of Frost and Starlight.

I guess I'll put my usual SPOILER WARNING here, but honestly? My TLDR is just skip this one, so do you where spoilers are concerned.

This is also going to be a rant review, so if you loved this book, I respectfully recommend that you give this review a pass. You're not going to have a good time.

So...there's an outside chance that the fact that I read A Court of Silver Flames before ACOFS colored how repetitive and flat this book felt, because with very few exceptions, all the Nessian stuff in this book is repeated information. Like...we got the fleshed-out scenes of Nesta at the party, and we are told that yes, Cassian knows about the drinking and the sex. But otherwise...this is just kind of unnecessary expansion on what we got in ACOSF. And it wasn't even SATISFYING because there was no resolution, there was just a deeply wounded Nesta and a bunch of people who can see there's a problem but who aren't helping--and in a lot of cases (glares in Rhys and Amren) are actively judging.

Also, I'm a grown-ass adult, and I have enough family awkwardness at holidays in real life, I SUPER DID NOT NEED IT in a romantasy series. I fully admit this is a me issue, so your mileage may vary. I also can't say that I didn't think Feyre and Rhys were pushing so hard for a happy solstice that it pole vaulted over the line of toxic positivity and weirdly toxic expectations. If I have to give Rhys the benefit of any doubt, I suppose yes, he might be dealing with some under the mountain trauma about, as Feyre thinks, whatever Amarantha did to him for almost 50 years, and probably trauma from literally dying at the end of the war with Hybern. But um...expecting the entire inner circle and their SO's and siblings to behave exactly how he wants them to for this holiday is STILL TOXIC. You kind of don't get to decide that YOU need EVERYONE ELSE to behave in or feel a specific way just so that you feel better. Az and Cass also do a little bit of this related to their own traumas, but Rhys is far an away the worse offender in this particular instance.

In a plot structure kind of way, I can see what the novella was trying to do. It's totally fair to say that people's experiences and trauma can and do color how they feel and behave and how they perceive and experience holidays. That's a valid thing to explore. And honestly, after ACOWAR, we needed some time for these characters to work through their experiences and trauma. Unfortunately, we kinda don't actually get that??? We just get this slice of life of traumatized toxicity at a massive holiday.

We do get a little bit of Feyre...figuring out her painting hangup and deciding to art therapy Velaris's kids, and again, in principle, this is a very valid thing to spend time and space exploring. The execution just...wasn't there for me. The weaver who made hope in the void was more interesting to me than Feyre's working through her trauma via creativity.

The Elain, Azriel, Lucien thing was...actively awkward and painful, which I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be, so Nailed It.

Mor had exactly one question about herself in this book and honestly nothing else to do. Talk about squandered character potential. At some point she actually needs to DEAL with her shit with Eris and her father (and by extension Az and Cass), but we just...aren't. So at this point deal with it or move on, and I don't care which.

The annual snowball fight was clearly supposed to be endearing and childlike. That might have landed a little better if Mor and Feyre weren't over here actively side-eying it, because I agreed with them that it was almost too stupid for words.

Also...Feyre remains a dick to Luciens. He is TELLING YOU THAT HE FEELS DISCONNECTED AND KICKED OUT, FEYRE, and you're over here going "omfg what even is this exiles bullshit?" This is also part of why Nesta is going to spend the whole next book building a girl squad that has nothing to do with the inner circle, because this attitude of "everything that ISN'T the inner circle is inherently lesser" is really high-handed and arrogant.

Add to that Rhys being an absolute dick to Tamlin while he's CLEARLY not ok and I'm not like...terribly sympathetic to the 500-year old high lord who was trained to lead judging a guy with no support for doing his best and fucking shit up. Rhys and Tamlin need to go to neutral corners and never contact again; that's just going to need to be the new status quo. The whole "protective male" bullshit has officially gone too far.

We did not need a full page around Amren disliking having to pee. I'm sorry, we just didn't.

So overall...I kind of wish I'd skipped this book. I got tonal whiplash, I got "oh god too real" about awkward family gatherings at holidays, and I got "holy shit, someone SEE that Nesta needs support," without real closure on any of it. The only closure we got was Feyre tying off the suriel's last words and flip flopping on whether or not she wants to be all barefoot and pregnant. I did not enjoy this book. I understand its utility, but the execution did not make the utility worthwhile in my opinion.

[gothark]

My Review of Jay's Gay Agenda...

...and why it only went downhill from here.

My first problem with this book were the characters. Basically every character (with a few exceptions - Albert) were gross Stereotypes and just... bad people. The Author tries to play it off, that just because you behave in some stereotypical ways does not make you a Stereotype, which would have worked if the characters had any character outside of being a Stereotype. Instead all the main character (Jay) thinks about is what he could do with other boys, statistics and... Ru Paul's Drag Race. Sometimes he thinks about his friends too I guess but 90% of the time he is selfish and ignorant to the people around him.

Next point - the writing. If you told me this was written by a 12 year old on wattpad I would believe you. It's cheesy, cringey and makes the characters come across as young and immature, which does not mix well with the sex positivity going on in many parts of this book. Reading a sex scene between Jay, who reads no older at 14 at the best of times, and Tony, who is your typical college frat bro who is 'not relationship material', was very uncomfortable.

And my last point, how Jay is a cheater and the book celebrates that fact. Jay meet Albert on his first day at a new school and has an instant crush. Great. Good for him. A few days later Jay gets taken to a Drag Show by his new friend, and gay guide, Max, who introduces him to Tony. Instantly Jay also has the hots for Tony. Jay proceeds to go on dates with Albert and Tony literally one day after the other, being encouraged by Max because 'you aren't in a relationship'. It's gross. Jay is double teaming both guys without either of them knowing about the other, meanwhile playing down his relationship with Tony because 'it's just physical' fully Intending to date Albert and not drop Tony until Albert explicitly asks him out. So while going on cute dates with Albert and getting asked to homecoming by him and having serious and vulnerable conversations Jay is getting railed by a college aged frat bro (who is also a serial cheater) and getting encouraged that this is the right behavior by Max. Even at the big climax where it comes out what he did Albert is really only mad that Jay lied about it.

In conclusion: I would not recommend this book to anyone who wants to have a good time. If you want to feel like peeling your own skin off though, go right ahead.

[mayomalice]

midnight sun • twilight

6/10

I'd like to start this review by saying this: i am not a knuckle cracker. but if i was, i would be cracking them before i begin my review.

lets get into it starting with the pros of this book before i rip into it with the cons.

for the most part i actually thoroughly enjoyed this book, there were several moments that made me giddy having been able to see it through Edward's perspective, such as being able to get brief glances into other peoples heads and know what they were thinking in that moment, because.. that's literally his power. it brought forth several short almost witty moments- some of them i believe to be unintentional, such as a descriptor for jasper in a moment to be 'and jasper was... suffering.'.

while i am aware of Edward and Bella's relationship being not all that healthy, that doesn't prevent me from loving them together. (because to be frank there are far worse pairings out there). For a lack of better words and words that make me cringe just at the thought of typing, once again, the movies really fail to show how much rizz Edward has. like he was seducing me to be honest, and i'm not even remotely attracted to men.

other than those pros that will conclude the positive section of this review, as i've listed in other book reviews for the series a lot of the same positives apply to this one. that being said, i don't wish to retype all of that once again.

lets move on to the negatives this book had for me.

firstly, Edward is extremely broody. to an eye rolling extent. while yes, i have been aware of that from reading the entire original series, and having watched the movies hundreds of times.. it still doesn't make it any less irritating when he's constantly saying things like 'Bella deserves someone better than me' 'Bella shouldn't be with someone who's killed people (COUGH, rapists).. etc.

secondly, from roughly page 568 until the final page, 658, i hated almost everything i was reading.

the entire scene where they're trying to get Bella out of danger is truly a frustrating read. Edward is a moron who refuses to listen to Alice who's trying to diffuse both him and the situation at hand, which in turn worries Bella further.. Emmet is unsure of what to do as he's sat in the backseat with a now even more stressed Bella.. Edward being no help at all like i said previously as he refuses to pull over so Alice can tell him what they should do for way longer than what should've been touched on within that chapter.

furthermore the car chase scene was torturous to read. why is it that with only a single apart am i being told that the car is driving at 150 m/ph? twice? why is it that you continue to tell me the car is going '160' '170' '180.'... that detail is entirely unnecessary when all that truly needed to be said was something like 'the car was continuing to increase in speed rapidly'.

my next massive complaint has to do with Carlisle and licence losing medical malpractice on his part. now, i love Carlisle. it's not so much about HIM, but mores about stephanie's idiocy regarding topics that she clearly did NOT research before including them in her novel. (something which is not new for her and her writing at all).

the complaints are as follows:

1. the 'she's lost some blood' comment. no shit. both you and Edward are actively kneeling in the pool of her blood which she's actively laying in. she's lost more than 'some blood'.

2. WHYYYY are you doing sutures outside of a hospital?? and how?? and where the fuck do you have to supplies- let alone sterile supplies to do so?? i understand that Carlisle is a doctor but that's not just something you have just chilling in your back pocket or in your car. so once again.. WHAT?

3. WHY do you have morphine on your person to treat Bella with.. morphine is an opioid, and there are legal restrictions that come with that.. as far as i'm aware you would not just have morphine on you, let alone a high enough dosage to treat Bella who has; 4 broken ribs, a broken leg, 2 open wounds on her head (which directly goes back to #2 of my complaints), and a body almost coated in bruising from head to toe. there is NO way.

4. Taping Bella's ribs. first of all, this is no longer a practice that is used as it makes it hard to take deep breaths, which bella was doing, because on top of everything she was also actively turning into a vampire.

5. i understand that they 'couldn't go to the hospital' because of the vampire turning on their hands, but they should've. if they truly had to keep Bella human, Edward should've sucked the venom out on the way to the hospital. in my opinion though, Bella should've just turned then and there. it would've saved everyone a world of trouble as well as once again, saving them the trip to the hospital entirely.

that's all for my medical malpractice complaints, now onto some more general complaints, i'll try to keep this short.

1. how did nobody in the small town of Forks notice the ballet studio having been lit on fire and burned to the ground? it's a small town, people are nosy, people would notice and come to see what's going on.

2. Bella was only kept in the hospital for 9 days despite her condition.

3. no obvious timeskip in the writing to show that Bella had recovered enough to be walking around and able to go to her school dance.

4. a lacklustre, disappointing ending. the final sentence literally being; 'as the night finally overcame the end of the day, i leaned forward again and kissed the warm skin of her throat.

with all that being said, up until the climax i did enjoy reading the book. it's not the best in the series at all, but at least it's not new moon.

[nadiareviews]

🎧"You, Again" by Kate Goldbeck

⭐

[asterebel]

I love watching rant reviews of books and films I have no intention of reading or watching just for the pleasure of being a hater

[dancingqueennintynine]

When I learned that the Villains Ever After Series was getting a Swan Lake story, I knew I had to read it. I expected this book to be a new favorite because I love classical ballet, and romance novels inspired by fairytales. However, after finishing this book in just under two days, I am sad to say that The Sorcerer and the Swan Princess is one of the most unromantic adaptation of Swan Lake I have read. By no means, am I upset with the Sorcerer, named Dietrich, being the love interest instead of the prince. It’s in the title. This creative twist was what interested me to begin with. However, Dietrich, despite the attempts to humanize him, is still not a charming love interest in the slightest. Ava is the heir to the throne of her kingdom, but has always had dreams to be a ballet dancer. However, she was forced to hang up her pointe shoes following an ankle injury. I liked this feature to Ava’s character both as a nod to the source material and because unfulfilled childhood dreams rips my heart strings right out.

Things finally start looking up for Ava when she receives a visit from an old friend, Prince Siegfried. But, everything changes when Dietrich the Sorcerer appears, turns Ava into a swan against her will, and kidnaps her despite her protest that she wants to go home. Maybe Dietrich has his reasons to do so, maybe he truly has Ava’s best interest at heart despite absolutely not respecting Ava’s autonomy. I personally found the reason to be flimsy. <spoiler> Ava’s twin sister, Lina, asked Dietrich to turn Ava into a swan and kill her so that she can take her place as queen. Dietrich turns her into a swan and kidnaps her instead. I recall Ava asking why he didn’t explain the situation and ask her to come with him instead, and Dietrich’s response is basically, “You would not have believed me”. I would still be bothered if he only kidnapped her, but he also denies Ava, her humanity and twists her body into something unrecognizable. Like, I would not give a man a second chance after that, even if he has a tragic sob story on top of the protecting from an evil twin excuse. </spoiler>

After the initial abduction, Dietrich does not respect Ava or even appears to take her seriously. Towards the middle of the story, Ava and Dietrich are having a very heated discussion, and Dietrich realizes the conversation is not getting anywhere. Ava only becomes more and more upset with him. A mature adult would remove themselves from the situation until both parties have a chance to calm down, but not Dietrich. He turns Ava into a swan again to shut her up. He says it’s because she needs to “cool off”. What I took away from the exchange is that A. Dietrich cannot take any criticism, even if said criticism is the result of his poor communication. B. he is more powerful than Ava and he wants her to know it.

Any efforts to make the characters fall in love just feels forced after this even when Dietrich realizes Ava’s mindreading ability hasn’t been working and finally explains himself. Ava forgives Dietrich, because the premise of the Swan Princess and the Sorcerer falling in love needs to happen not because they had genuinely good chemistry.

Finally, and this is probably is not even a problem, but I am a little confused that some major characters are renamed from the ballet, but others are not. The sorcerer character, Rothbart, is called Dietrich, and the characters filling the roles of Odette and Odile are named Ava and Lina, but the prince's name is still Siegfried.

Okay, I clearly need to calm myself down before some hot sorcerer turns me into an emu and makes me calm down.

Any Swan Lake adaptions I would recommend instead? The issue is I have not read any other books where Ava and Dietrich become a couple. However, an excellent romance book that is more of an adaptation of Robin Hood with Swan Lake elements is The Huntress of Thornbeck Forest by Melanie Dickerson.

[roselinbooks-archive]

We may be 1/3 of the way through the book, but we're only 1/5 of the way through the numbered chapters! More importantly, the harpy shrills of the Charmed Ones from Obscurus Lupa's Charmed reviews returns in this chapter and will become a reoccurring bit throughout the reading. Fans of silliness, rejoice!