#you had to kill me/but it killed you all the same UHhhhh

[ohifonlyx33]

Hoax by Taylor Swift is a painful Sherlolly song from Molly's POV

"My best laid plan/Your sleight of hand/My barren land/I am ash from your fire

Stood on the cliffside/Screaming "Give me a reason/Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in"

Okay but hear me out.

Neptune by Sleeping At Last is a painful Sherlolly song from Sherlock's POV

"I'm only honest when it rains/If I time it right, the thunder breaks/When I open my mouth/I want to tell you but I don't know how"

[umbrellasareforever]

Empire of Death

Alright I'm so fresh off watching it and normally I want to give myself time to think before I say anything but also to think I need to get it out somehow so ya'll are getting my thoughts as I process them and then maybe I'll make a more intelligent post later.

Let's start with things I enjoyed!

Mel was fantastic, as always. Bonnie Langford is a treat and honestly, watching her this episode made me almost wish she could be the series companion again.

The Memory TARDIS! A genuinely unexpected surprise and while it made not have made 100% sense, it was a fun reference and a unique way to get around the fact that the TARDIS wasn't available to them.

I enjoyed the scene with the Doctor and the woman in that ramshackle hut. It was a sweet, somewhat slow moment that let you feel the universe a bit. Honestly, I wish the episode had started with that, it would've been a great hook.

As much as I adore my Paradox Baby™️ theory, I do think that having Ruby discover that her mother is, in fact, just a person was quite sweet. It was nice to see a RTD companion actually have a happy ending for once (although we know she's coming back, but hey, it's still a sweet moment).

Okay uhhhhh let's get into my problems...

If Ruby's mother was really just a person why the hell did it snow every time her mom was mentioned? I get the whole "the more significance you give something, the more important it becomes", and I know that the universe is now more supernatural than it was before, but was that the supernatural bleeding in? And while we're on Ruby's mother, why did she point so dramatically to the sign? No one was looking, no one would've known that's what she named her daughter. Is it just a total coincidence that she ended up with that name? Am I crazy?

The moment Rose died so unceremoniously I knew that it was going to end up being one of those "no consequences" episodes and I felt incredibly deflated. I get that Russell needs to make the stakes feel high but I really don't think this is the way. You can't have every season end with a universe shattering event and then just as quickly put everything back to the way it was and expect me to still feel like there's a threat.

Piggybacking off that, whyyyyyyyyyyy the HELL did Mrs. Flood have to say the whole "end in abject terror" thing? I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of every season ending with or being advertised with "OHHHHHH this next one is gonna be the biggest threat the Doctor has ever faced! Nothing will ever be the same!!" STOP!!! STOP IT!!!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of Mrs. Flood, as curious as I am about her and whatever the hell she is (Iris, Romana, Susan, the Trickster, something else entirely), I also think that the lack of any answers about her and the constant cutting back to her really pulled me away from the story as a whole. Whether it was because I'm more interested in her or because seeing her so much made me think her story was going to be more important in the episode, it just took away from the already limited time we had.

Which kind of brings me to my biggest problem; time. All season every episode has felt like we were rushing through, as if we didn't have nearly enough time to actually tell a story, and it sucks. It leaves stories feeling like first drafts and unsatisfying and meh. I know pacing is hard, but there's gotta be a way to make this stuff work.

On another note, the whistle was... uh... yeah. I'll accept the Doctor having Intelligent Gloves™️ and Intelligent Rope™️ and Psychic Earrings™️, but when a whistle falls out of a cupboard and he puts it on with 0 explanation and then uses what we can only assume is a normal whistle to control the TARDIS to *checks notes* shoot a cannon out of the console and fly it over to him and Ruby... Yeah I just... that's a bit much for me.

Also Sutekh's been on the TARDIS for how long??? Since Pyramids of Mars??? What happened to him in Flatline? What happened to him when the Master turned it into a Paradox Machine? Or when it was blowing up constantly in Series 5? Or when House took it over in The Doctor's Wife? He was just straight chilling?? Honestly this is less of a genuine complaint and more of a "Wow, Doctor Who is wild!"

Now this is VERY much a nitpick and I need to get over it, I know, but God I need 15 to wear more Doctor-esque clothes. Seeing him walk around this whole time in blue jeans and a t-shirt or combat cargo pants and a t-shirt just felt so off. Seriously, when he had that leather trench coat outfit back on at the very end I felt a moment of relief.

And while I'm nitpicking, I know they didn't even really play a part in the episode but I want to, once again, voice my frustration with how much UNIT is a part of RTD2 so far and how it feels like there's not even a hint of military critique about it.

Yeah okay, those are my thoughts for now. If you really read all this, I appreciate and applaud you, and I very much hope you enjoyed the episode. I wish I did.

Here's to the Christmas special, I suppose!

[moongothic]

Okay, here goes. What's your ultimate Crocodad timeline? You can go as wild or as believable as you want.

I mean I made this timeline chart/post/thing.

But if you meant it in a more "how do you think things actually went down" specific kinda way, uhhhhh. Great question, not sure I know how to answer. Like. The possibilities on what could've happened and how are nearly endless and all those options are so interesting to me. Even if there's ideas I feel like might be more likely than others, or I find myself more invested in some ideas, I can't fully like, dedicate myself to any specific idea for a plot point or a storybeat or anything, especially if there's nothing to suggest if anything even remotely similar could've happened.

Like, say for example, how did Crocodile and Dragon meet? There's literally infinite ways they could've met, to the point I'm not even really that interested in speculating on it, because more likely than not, any guess I make will probably be wrong. Like speculating about something like that feels almost pointless. Compare that to say, how did Luffy end up in Garp's care? While we know like nothing about what exactly happened, we do have any theoretical information (ex: Garp and Croc should not know about each other, meaning there must've been a third party to deliver the baby, and it's more than likely that was Dragon) that we can get to much more specific when speculating about what might've happened. Like there's still plenty of options, but the options are far fewer, which makes the speculation so much more interesting, for me at least

But at the same time, I don't want to get too fond of any idea in because Oda could still prove me wrong and debunk it and I'd be sad if I got like fond of a concept and I ended up being dead wrong lmao

Mind you, for me, a big part of the reason I'm invested in the theory to begin with IS the possibility of it being canon. Like yes Crocodad would and always will make for fun AU fanfics regardless of if it's canon or not. But I am here to more or less speculate about canon.

So between my brain treating Crocodad as this monstrous, gigantic flow chart, and me not wanting to get too attached to any potential path on the chart... Yeah I don't know what to tell you anon, I'm sorry

Like. Just as an example. On how my brain processes this shit.

(Sidenote, this chart is like under the assumption that Croc and Dragon had mutually agreed that their child would be put in the care of Dragon's father. And while that makes the most sense to me by a long shot, technically it's totally possible Luffy was taken away from Crocodile by force by Dragon or something else) (THERE'S SO MANY POTENTIAL THINGS THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED, AHHHHHHH)

Like here, I think the most likely canon scenarios would be the "Respectful Rejection" followed by "Too Stunned To Speak -> It's Bad" routes, though personally I might be most interested in the "It Was Really Bad" route because it'd be really fucked up and sad

So like. Yeah. I have no idea what my "ultimate Crocodad timeline" would be, there's too much room for speculation to the point anything specific would leave the room of Neutral Canon Speculation and just turn into a plain old fanfic, and I'm just here for theorizing

But hey if you wanted a fanfic, here's a TL:DR;

(You know I say this is a TL:DR; but this got so fucking long it almost broke this post. Like Tumblr would not let me save the draft or post it anymore because there's a 4k character limit to "blocks", I had to break this into chunks man)

If Crocodile was betrayed by his crew after losing to Whitebeard and had to kill them himself in self-defence;

Who the fuck knows, maybe by some twist of fate our wounded/dying, exhausted and traumatized Crocodile drifted in the sea and his ship ran into Dragon, the man rescuing Crocodile from the kindness of his heart or something IDK

If the dude had to kill his own crew immidiately after Whitebeard crushed his hopes and dreams, Crocodile must've been just absolutely shell shocked. Depressed and withdrawn, just out of it. So maybe Dragon being there could've been great for Croc's mental state. Maybe. Big maybe.

If Crocodile did turn out to be the Rev Army's Secret Sugar Daddy then perhaps this is how that relationship kind of started: Crocodile could've paid Dragon in cash money as thanks for saving his life, and then just kept the money coming since Dragon had an army to run and needed the funds

(Like we don't know why Crocodile joined the Shichibukai anyways, but if it was only ever for The Benefits of not having to deal with the Marines chasing his ass anymore and if he didn't give a rat's ass about the Government... Like yeah, why not fund the Revolutionary Army, give money to the people trying to directly take down the fuckers while right under their noses.) (Who knows maybe Croc does have his own reasons for hating the WG and had like a genuine reason beyond just being a petty king and/or having basic human decency in understanding why the WG was corrupt and needed to be overthrown)

Thus begins a secret comradery where Crocodile every now and then goes and drops off some money to Dragon to help fund the Army, nobody on either side of the war any wiser (except maybe Iva-chan, they're allowed to be in on the secret, as a treat). It's their secret that they keep for years

Time passes

Whoopsie poopsie Crocodile's prégónánté

The two realize that their kid is going to be in so much danger for a pletora of reasons and that neither can raise the baby. Dragon knows his father would keep their baby safe and they both agree to leaving the child to him (not a happy decision, it's just for the best, for everyone's sake)

Anyway Crocodile's gender dysphoria goes into turbo mode during pregnancy. Maybe he never really realized it was there and/or what it was, but boy howdy, it's there now and it's really really bad. Like, if it wasn't for the baby he might just kill himself (and god knows once the kid is out and taken away, there's not going to be anything to stop him from doing just that)

Crocodile must've gone into hiding during the latter half of his pregnancy to keep it a secret from the Government, and I could totally imagine him being hellbent on being completely isolated. He is a Shichibukai, everybody knows him, he can't risk having even some random doctor recognize him and find out about the baby. Besides, it's not like he can do much while hiding anyways, like he might as well read 150 medical books to ensure he can deliver his baby by himself

(Sidenote but the narrator in OP has called Fuusha Village Luffy's "birth place" (think the term he used was "umereta machi", lit. "town he was born in"), and if that's true, then. Croc should've been hiding in and/or near Fuusha Village in Goa Kingdom. Additional sidenote, there are wild crocodiles in Goa, which are the Sir's favorite food.)

To avoid suspicion and the risk of being found out, Dragon might've agreed to not go see Crocodile during this time, only agreeing to see his significant other after the child was born so he could then deliver the baby to Garp (after not just leaving the Marines but also starting a fucking revolutionary army, the dude probably didn't want his father to find out he had been dating a fucking WARLORD)

But surely he'd think Crocodile was insane if he thought he'd let Crocodile deliver the baby alone. Like no, somebody needs to be there by his side. Someone Dragon could trust, a fellow Revolutionary perhaps. Oh yeah, just send Ivankov, what could possibly go wrong

(Personal headcanon but since we don't know when Ivankov got their Fruit, I kind of want to imagine they ate it just a short time ago at this point and that they hadn't fully realized the potential of the Hormone Fruit yet. Like their genderfluid ass may not have understood the power they now held)

Iva-chan did not know Croc was prénánté, whether Dragon told Ivankov ahead of time why they were being sent to check on Croc is up or debate (if Iva-chan was aware of Croc being their Secret Sugar Daddy though then I'm sure they understood why Dragon wanted and was willing to help out Crocodile in this situation). Croc and/or Dragon probably lied through their teeth about the father of the child if Iva-chan ever asked about it, and whatever Iva-chan was told they clearly bought it since they never knew about Dragon having a kid.

When Iva gets there though they can see right away that something is fucking wrong with Crocodile, in ways even he can't understand. He is so uncomfortable 24/7 for seemingly no reason. So naturally Iva-chan pokes and prods at the dumbass until Croc has a break down and explains his weird feelings he can't even word properly and this is how Emporio Ivankov discovered transgenderism

What's that? You don't like what pregnancy has done to your body, doesn't feel like it's yours anymore? You feel love for your child but don't want to be its mother? Good news, you can be its father instead. Bad news, gotta wait until the baby is farted out. Aren't sure about it? No worries, there's time to think about it, and shit's 100% reversible anyways. Just hang in there for a little bit longer, you may feel god awful rn but that too shall pass

(Maybe this is how Iva-chan starts calling Crocodile "Crocoboy", just to get him to warm up to the idea that he could be(come) a man, get used to it etc)

Crocodile has an identity crisis of a lifetime. Like either he knew since he was a small child that something was fucky wucky, or he never realized it until now, either way, he must not have even been aware of the idea that he could trans his gender (which would make sense if Ivankov only recently got their Fruit just sayin'). So yeah. Enjoy that gender crisis, dumbass

Like he straight up just goes through the five stages of grief before he's like "god dammit if it'll make me feel less like I'll kill myself then it's worth a shot, don't care what Dragon ends up thinking"

At some point Croc must've contacted Dragon at least one final time just so they can agree on when and where they'll meet to hand over the baby once it's born (if Croc doesn't die at child birth. I mean they both know he'll be fine, Croc's survived worse. But if something did happen, Iva-chan will take care of the baby until Dragon arrives)

This is One Piece. Luffy was born at dawn.

Crocodile probably insists on getting the T literally immidiately after the baby is out. If he doesn't just pass out immidiately after giving birth. But like within 24 hours of giving birth. Iva-chan is probably like "Crocoboy you're exhausted, chill, your cooch needs to recover" and he's just like "why wait for it to recover when you're going to get rid of it, just do it"

(Iva-chan probably goes and gets Croc some emergency clothes and like bottles and baby food etc because god knows he's going to burst out of his old clothes and he ain't gonna have the tiddies to breastfeed that baby either)

Anyway he gets the rones and gets to enjoy gender euphoria for the first time in his life. Happy times, happy tears, a happy croc

Dude probably nearly shits himself when he tries to speak as he is now voiced by Ryuuzaburo Fucking Ootomo (even Iva-chan is like "HOLY SHIT your voice dropped") (like they probably agressively try to encourage Crocodile to speak more and let them hear that voice and Croc is like "ssssshhhhhhhhh stop yelling you'll wake up the baby!!")

Anyway he finally gets to fucking rest and relax and enjoy the sheer relief of not just being free of his dysphoria but also his baby boy being born and looking all healthy and happy. A happy dad

(If Crocodile was the first person Iva-chan helped transition, and under these circumstances specifically. I think seeing the guy and his sheer relief would give like Iva-chan a new mission in life. To help people like Croc)

(Ivankov: "It's like a great weight has been lifted off your chest... GET IT, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TITS ANYMORE! HEEHAW!!" / 🐊: "If you wake up the baby I will skewer you")

Anyway if the Rev Army member stays with Crocodile for too long there's a risk of them getting found out and that'd be bad, so Iva-chan needs to GTFO (they have better things to do, like overthrow some governments and stuff). Also Crocodile needs to prepare because he can't have the Government wondering where the fuck he's been all these months much longer (god knows explaining his sudden manliness is going to be enough to deal with) and the kid needs to go into hiding. If Iva-chan asks where the child is going, Croc probably won't give a straight answer, just that there's a plan and he needs Ivankov to keep the baby a secret etc (perhaps that could be the blackmail Iva-chan brought up in Impel Down 🤔)

Crocodile gets to spend a little time with his baby boy (before and/or after Iva-chan leaves). Crocodiles (the animals) look after their babies for three months before they're on their own, so at most he stayed with his baby for three months, though I'd argue just 3 weeks, simply because that'd a painfully short amount of time that's just perfect for tragic storytelling

Perhaps that was the happiest time of Croc's life. No stupid Government to deal with, no pirates to fight, no villages to pillage. Just him and his beautiful baby boy. Not even the knowledge of knowing he'd have to say goodbye to his son forever would get in the way of his happiness at that moment.

(Did he ever think about what to name the child? Maybe Dragon had wanted Crocodile to name their child and Crocodile was supposed to think of something while expecting, before the baby was born. Or maybe, knowing he would never see that child again (until the Government blows up) he could not bring himself to think of a name. It'd be Dragon's father who'd look after the baby anyways, Dragon should name him)

Dragon comes. Either exactly at the agreed upon time, or perhaps a day early (dude was too excited and wanted to be with his wife and child, together as a family, even if it was for a day). Whenever he arrives;

See the chart earlier in the post

However things go down, Dragon and Crocodile go their separate ways. Crocodile leaves the island immidiately.

Well. I certainly became absolutely deranged writing this.

HOPE YOU FOUND THAT ENTERTAINING

[naradreamscape]

Content Warning for "UrbanSPOOK" Analog Horror Series

So, in recent months, a new analog horror/ARG series called UrbanSPOOK has joined Youtube, and it's even been covered by a number of indie horror exploration channels (i.e. Goose Boose, Gearisko, etc.), which I know is going to pull a lot of new viewers towards the channel. However, a number of things in the series really need to be addressed, since they're not exactly warned about in the series. This post is not a callout nor any call to harass the creator, Urbanslug; I just wanted to step in and raise a flag.

UrbanSPOOK's premise is that several VHS tapes have been found, of unknown origin, cataloguing the crimes of an unknown serial killer who leaves behind surrealist paintings of their crimes. Little clues as to what happened to their victims are dropped in the evidence, paintings, and witness testimonials, and these can be very disturbing, far more so than other indie series. A disclaimer does play at the beginning of each "tape" warning about general violence and disturbing content. However, I feel people should be aware of sexual violence when going into media of any kind. Moreover, the series's creator sells merch of all of the killer's paintings, including the ones heavily implied to be of abused children.

(Content warning for the rest of this post: references to animal abuse, child abuse, CSA, descriptions of highly violent acts. Don't say I didn't warn you; these descriptions are written only as detailed as they need to be in order to convey why new viewers should approach with caution, and why it's a little Uhhhhh how merch is being sold of these (fictional) crimes.)

At least two of the unnamed killer's victims are children. Most significantly, one painting unveiled in the first episode, "FACES", is called "Fucktoy Cory", depicting a bloated body's face. The third episode, "IN THE WALLS", reveals Cory is the name of an 11 year old, one of two twins who were both murdered, split in half, and then sewn one to the other. The creator has confirmed the painting is of the murdered boy named Cory.

In the most recent episode, "PIGS", a child's severed, eyeless head is found in an abandoned building the killer had been living in. Her painting is called "Four Holes Fiona". There has been a lot of speculation in the video's comments as to what the implications are about this title, most of them concluding that the killer was using the head for something foul.

In the same episode, Fiona's grandmother Mae is found heavily ravaged and dead from internal bleeding, along with a horse that died from heart failure after being overfed sildenafil citrate - the pharmaceutical name for Viagra. Mae's painting is called "Breeding Mount Mae". A breeding mount is a piece of farm equipment meant for stallions to mate with, so their semen can be collected for equine breeding.

The creator of the series promises that things will only get "worse" as it goes along, which is worrying, especially when the only disclaimers given are for "violent and disturbing content" and this content goes from "skinned alive" to "fucked to death by a horse" at the drop of a hat. The paintings for all of the above, along with the rest of the paintings, are sold at their official Creator-Spring shop, on t-shirts. I'm not entirely sure why you'd want to wear something knowing its original context is someone getting killed with the ole "Mr. Hands" maneuvre, but take this as a record that these images, with the same titles given in-series, were available at one point as on-demand printed merchandise.

Finally, a friend brought up to me that "spook" is a racial epithet against Black people in America. However, Urbanslug is from Sweden and likely did not know of the word's connotations other than meaning "spooky", or "scary". I will clear them on that accusation.

Again, do not go and harass the creator of this series. This post is just intended as a sort of warning label. Analog horror is more popular than ever, and with the Writer's Guild strike coming up, I anticipate a lot of people will begin looking for indie series to consume while mainstream television is put on hold. I walked into this series blind, and had no idea how grim it was going to get so soon.

You can call me a wimp, or "triggered", or whatever the hell you'd like for making a post about this, but extreme media and figuring out how far is too far is one of my big focuses in my journalism and archiving. I just finished an article about Agony in Pink that concluded with me saying it had the right to exist; with this in mind, UrbanSPOOK was so extreme and so under-warned that even I had to say something.

[materassassino]

WIP Wednesday

Am I a week late? Yes. I forgot. I'm sorry. BUT! Today is a Wednesday, so I can make up for it.

Tagged in the circle by @emmalostinwonderland

Sharing a different Old Guard fic this time, one I'm procrastinating because of all the research I have to do for it.

One final, snatched kiss and they step away from each other, the last thing to release is their hands. It is agony to turn away, and Nicoló keeps looking back, over his shoulder. Yusuf, he can see, does the same, until the sun drenches the land in the pinks and light reds of full dawn and the cliffs of the wadi separate them. Finally Nicoló turns away, head bowed. Quynh is surprisingly quiet through all this. Nicoló chances a look at her, and for once there is no glint of mischief in her eyes, just a small, indulgent smile. “We must look quite pathetic,” he murmurs. “It’s young love,” she says, squeezing his arm fondly. “It is new and bright and beautiful and you’ve never felt anything like it before, have you?” Nicoló shakes his head, flushing slightly. No one has ever moved his heart like Yusuf has, changing the very shape of life for him. “It’s easy to lose yourself in it,” Quynh says, and she sounds like she knows how it feels. “It can devour you, drown you in it until you forget who you ever were without it. He may complete you, Nico, he may be the other half of your soul, but you must also be yourself even without him.” The prospect isn’t appealing at all, and Nicoló says so. Quynh’s smile is a little pitying now, and it rankles. “I mean it. When I met Andromache, I knew I’d found the person I would love for the rest of my life. It was perfect, it was fire and madness, and I realised that if I continued like this, I would lose myself. I would forget to be Quynh. So we separated, walked different paths for twenty years. And I remembered who I was, what I could do alone.” She releases Nicoló’s arm and dashes up a boulder on the side of the path, standing atop it like a mighty conqueror. “I was Quynh! Tiger of Au Lac! Scourge of Nanyue! The Heavenly Arrow of Lam Ap! I still am! Quynh of the mighty bow and fast daggers! She who laughs as she kills!” With a snarling laugh she leaps from the rock and lands beside him, and he can’t help but smile at her. “And I am still Andromache’s, as well. When we reunited, it was all the sweeter. Knowing who I was alone helped me love her more.”

Trying to explore any differences between Andromaquynh and Joenicky and also because I want to write reunion sex. This entire fic came about because I had a mental image of Nicky and Joe rolling down a sand dune as they kiss, which amused me.

Tagging uhhhhh @non-un-topo @dangerouscommiesubversive and @veradragonjedi

[happy-mimin]

ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP, IM AT MY LIMIT WITH YOU!!! your smut is so fucking good ON GOD (and I’m an atheist 😫) so, like, about toby and the whole baby trapping thing…. uhhhhh. could you maybe like, do some hc or a short little story? pretty please 🥺

Yes baby, I can.

I don’t know whyyyyyyyyy but it’s been itching at my brain for that Drabble I did of Toby for a while.

Dark content? Dark content. I know y’all hypocrites see that warning so don’t get mad at me.

☇ ♡ “Shhhhh… my d-darling.” Calming down was like a needle in a haystack when the man behind you was enjoying the rancid fear spilling from your body. He can smell it. You cried out loud with a small shriek, his rough palm pressing so gently against your lower abdomen as he then gently massaged it.

She’d bite into the dirty cloth that kept her noise’s muffled with ease. Her focus all over the place whilst he climbed on top of your small frame, making sure to press his weight into you to keep your squirming still.

“H…Hey..h-hey, easy there. I’m not gonna kill you, y-y-yknow?” He said, like there was venom behind those words. You knew Toby was sweet, he always were to you. Bringing you candies, telling you stories about his family, and even little jewelry here and there. So you cried, wondering why he was doing this to you now. His rough hands pulled at the corners of your sweatpants with ease, letting the clothing tug as far to past your knees before you yelped when a familiar hand was caressing your hot sex.

He gritted his teeth.

Tears began to swell in your lash line as he eased his finger into your hole, serenading you with sweet words of encouragement as if he was your lover. “You got this..s-so wet..” he’d press his lips into the nape of your neck, inhaling the sweet scent of your adrenaline and perfume. He couldn’t help but shiver, a twisted grin displaying on the man lips when he started to pump his finger in a back and forth motion, which led you to believe he was actually going through with this. Toby gleamed his eyes into your own with an eagerness growing every time his slick digits would pull from your slick pussy.

The embarrassment took it’s course from there on with the little wave of pleasure as well, subconsciously you’d open your thighs wider for more stimulation and he took the hint. Gladly removing his belt and pulling his hand away from your hot sex, never breaking eye contact once when he’ll pull his weight off of you and use both of his arms to pull your legs closer to his broad shoulders. You keened as he positioned his girth against your pussy, the cream slightly admitting from it being used as the only lube before he heaved when feeling the tight muscles of your entrance suck in his tip. “O-Oh god.” He cried softly. The man not even wanting to hold back before he plunged his girth into the warm embrace of your womb, y/n eyes damn there rolling to the skies before he started this ravaging pace.

Y/n moaned in euphoria and disgust almost at the same time, each time he’ll rock his back and forth in such an motion that had her pussy leaking into the sheets of the bed. He reached his hand over the bed frame to grab ahold of it in a vice grip, your moans were so sweet, like honey dripping down your lips each and every time he’ll make sure to hit that one gooey spot. “I need to put a baby in y-…you..youuu..” Toby would coo next to your ear in a pant, while you were to drunk out to understand what he said. Wet sounds of sex filled the room by now, along with the audible creaking of the bed before he stopped for a moment and grabbing onto your hips quickly before lifting you up from the mattress. “Toby..- ??!” You choked immediately when he had you pierced on his cock once more in this new position.

“Fuck fuck fuck fUU..!!!” He’ll never forget how your pussy was gripping at him right now, the delirious twitches to the sudden grips as he continued to fuck you dumb. Poor you by now was on your last bit of energy and even stamina. Letting your “best friend” use you like a breeding hole until he was satisfied with the result of you having his baby. “Ouuu..w-wait..!!” You’ll cry because of the sudden wetness that started to soak his girth, which resulted in Toby throwing his head back in soft bliss and a growl as he felt him and you climax together. You’re mouth became gaped open from such ecstasy, though you could still feel his hot seed fill you to the brim of your cervix and even some oozing out from your womb.

“Oh..o-oh..Your a mommy now. I-I-I’m..so happy.” He’ll exclaim into the shell of your ear softly, while placing his sweaty palm against your back and plopping down onto the covers with you as well. You were trapped.

[spidermanifested]

for “give me a character”: scar fma!!!!

TEARS MY SHIRT IN HALF LIKE JERMA985.

how i feel about this character:

i need to FEED HIM DINNER and TAKE HIM TO A CAT CAFE and PAY FOR HIS THERAPY BILLS

hes everything. he did not deserve a single second of how the main characters treated him. Hes gods strongest ocd warrior and the king of adidas sweatpants and i need to get my fanfiction done so i can give him an epilogue where he has so many friends and two dozen adopted cats and he can gradually transform into a bear in peace

all the people i ship romantically with this character

its So fucked up to me. that scar/greed hasnt taken a foothold anywhere in the past 20 years of this series existing. the possibilities are incredible. you have two people from very different backgrounds on the run from the same government who can never go home again. theyre also, for one reason or another, loath to bite the bullet and call somewhere *new* their home. (wont it just be taken away again? can anything really be permanent for someone like them? do they even belong with humans at all? And So On)

despite these parallels the fronts they put up to protect themselves are WILDLY different. scar would definitely be put off at first by how arrogant and airheaded greed can seem, not to mention his origins and their opposing feelings on chimeras. their stated goals are very different too

but the thing about greed is that. Well. hes SO hard to actively dislike for very long. if you observe him for Any length of time the reality of the type of person he is just clicks and everything gets cast in a new light. scar is very observant! he would get it! and then he would regret getting it. but be incapable of un-getting it. itd be terrible and awesome

& Also, scar is notoriously extremely susceptible to people who decide that they want to hang out with him simply doing so. greed is nothing if not a barnacle of a man. and to top it all off, we have the CANONICAL fact that the first time he sees scar hes like "waow :)"

aside from those two. uhhhhh in my fanfiction scar and bido have had had One conversation alone at night during which they started doing sentimental hand touching without my really intending that, to happen, so. i cant help but Think About It. bido being a chimera-- and a visibly nonhuman one at that-- is a uniquely interesting thing to put next to all of scars Bodily Transmutation Woes i think, and hes also not one to shy away from vocally supporting his friends and i think thatd be good for scar. i dont think circumstances will allow these guys to pass beyond the border of "weird unstated quasiplatonic throuple" in the fic proper, but, maybe . If i put it out into the world. others will see my vision, and run with it... we may only dream.....

i havent watched that far in 03 yet but him and lust Specifically in that version seems preddy good! and then my goofy one is scar/dolcetto. because of adidas

my non-romantic otp for this character

HIM AND MEI!!!!!!!!!!! the best friends of all TIME. im still adamant that their relationship is VERY SPECIFICALLY that of a new step- or adoptive dad and his teenage daughter whos already extremely self sufficient so he doesnt really know what to do for her parenting-wise, but she immediately starts telling him all the drama from school and using him for eyeliner practice and they are both satisfied with this arrangement. theyd both kill a man for each other. it rules

plus i cant not include greed and bido as his co-uncle-buddies in a platonic way as well. because im entrenched in my au and its real to me. marcoh and yoki are there too i guess

my unpopular opinion about this character

he should be legally allowed to do what ever he wants 👍 and its good tjat he killed all those people

one thing i wish had happened in canon

uhhh. mei should have been shown defending him more and not just as a joke. his actions should have been framed as justified and sympathetic instead of having to sit there and get chastised by a bunch of 15 year olds and cops. he should not have been made to work with the military in the first place. wish he got to reclaim his name even if we the audience never get to learn it. and finally every military character he had to interact with should have had to write him a personal letter of apology and given him three hundred thousand dollars

[arc-misadventures]

Jaune FMK: Ruby Yang Summer

Roses: FMK

Jaune: Okay… Why am I doing this…?

Ruby: Because we want you to!

Yang: Also we’re curious…

Jaune: About what?

Summer: If you could only have one of us, who would you have~!

Ruby: And,whowouldyoukill?!!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Okay…? Y-You’re not going to… hit me, or anything for what I’m going to say, are you…?

RYS: Nooo~!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Well, I’m dead either way… Okay so… Kill… Ruby. Fuck, Yang, and Marry Summer.

Ruby: What?! Why…?!

Yang: Yes!

Summer: Whoo!

Ruby: Jaune?! I thought we had something together! Why are you killing me?!

Jaune: Because… Because I want… I want to marry, Summer so I can… So… So I can impregnate her…

Ruby: GAHK?!!

Yang: Ohhh! Bold moves, Lover Boy~! But, why?

Summer: Ara Ara~! Do tell~!

Jaune: Look, I want to have a family; wife, and kids all of that. And, Ruby you are old enough to do it. You’re not ready for that, neither are you, Yang. Summer however is, she may be older in years, but she can still have kids. So I would marry her, and have a family, then one day do the same with you two.

Ruby: Shit! That is a good reason!

Yang: Meh, I already call him, Daddy. But now it’s, Daddy~!

Summer: Want to try that later tonight, Dear~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Yes.

Summer: Wonderful~!

Yang: So, I guess that means I get to fuck, Jaune! Whoo!

: Yes, but actually no.

Yang: Eh? What are you talking about, Mom?

Raven: Don’t worry dear, you can have some fun with, Daddy. But only after I have some fun with him first~!

Jaune: What are you talking about, Raven?

Raven: Well, if, Ruby, and Yang, aren’t old enough, but, Summer is, why not me as well~?

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Summer: Think about it, Jaune; both of us, our body’s glistening with sweat, as you pound away at us. Our bodies leaking your fluids as you finish inside us. New life blooming inside us at the same time, one made by your hard effort~! Doesn’t that sound fun~?

Jaune: UHHHHH…?!!

Raven: We’ll both wear our bunnysuit’s when we do it, too~!

Jaune: Well… Get fucked, Yang. Summer, Raven, lets get cracking!

Summer: This is going to be fun~!

Raven: Don’t wait on us girls; we’re going to be very, very busy~!

RY: …

Ruby: Wow…

Yang: I’m not sure what’s upsetting me; the fact that I did, or that I couldn’t laugh at that egg pun!

Ruby: It was probably the pun knowing you.

Yang: Yeah… It was the pun…

///

If I get a prompt with any of these three girls, I an going to do this to them. It is a natural reaction for me to do so now.

[fatestayyuri]

Finished Ward Act 2.

thoughts under cut.

I live in hell, lament.

I don't mean to be a hater more than like, what's comedic in the liveblogs to sell the bit. but also whenever i give this fucking serial an inch it throws sand in my eyes and spits on my face. when i go "oh this interaction with children is sweet, i'm glad that Vicky is at least to get some measure of comfort vicariously" they hit me with the "actually one of them might be powered so we have to funnel them into the paramiltary death squad fasttrack" and "Victoria is now going to be a freelance strikebreaker, but this time with Less Oversight". she also wants to fuck her therapist so like, sure. fuck it. i guess we're at that point now.

it's so fucked up very clearly seeing the artifice surrounding the actual genuine compelling core of the story of someone with terminal copbrain due to her trauma and upbringing learning to heal get fucking, impaled fourteen hundred times over by Wildbow moments. There's nascent themes here! of healing! of loss! of taking uneasy, shaky steps forward and trying to mesh the inherent hypocrisy of knowing your abuser deserves a second chance but feeling like that you'd rather kill both of you than be the one to give it to them. I Get It. i really do. but also please stop framing the strikebreaking like it's a good thing.

Sorry i just need to go on here to say that it's supremely funny to me that throwing cars in front of people during a panicked evacuation because they disrespected her Special Baby Girl authority is AFTER all of the conflict counselling is so fucking good. Like??? this is after, huh. it's okay since civies aren't people i suppose, just cargo and luggage

I'm not actually sure if wildbow knows what a strike is. "they're not striking, the two construction groups have just banded together to withhold labor", you say? I don't know maybe it's an intentional oversight on the character's part but at least mention that, goddamn. was he really that proud of the insult Glory Hole to use it twice, too? every time he tries to be witty i genuinely sink into my seat and start boiling alive in second-hand shame. that flirting scene was fucking terrible and the "wow so witty" he gave himself was fucking terrible.

^Wild thing to put slip in there, by the way. "yeah they acted like a union, y'know, making sure the kids were educated, sane, not being SLUTS, not being abused, etc etc"

These writeups aren't edited or like cohesive or coherent at all almost entirely because if wildbow doesn't feel the need to why should i. fuck off, it's ward.

oh right! the therapy group! the therapy group pisses me off so much dude I hate that i love them all i hate that their dynamics are good i hate that they have good chemistry and play off each other and that they feel believable and I hate that i'm gonna read more of this just to see them. Fuck me

uhhh lemme just go down the list... I haven't been given enough information on Chris but I'm liking what i'm seeing tbh, he's cagey and kind of idealistic but also he's like. 13. that's just how they are it's very convincing

Kenzie is good! i like her! she[realises i'm gonna write "is very convincing and compelling for all of these] uhhhhh mirrors a lot of the hangups i had as a kid but also I do in fact completely understand why everyone else wanted me Not In Danger back then

Ashley is too good and hot for Victoria "Cop" Dallon. that is all.

Byron and Tristan are a really interesting character concept to me actually; I have cogent thoughts whirling around in my brain but the only joke i have is that what if they starred in a variant of All or Nothing wouldn't that be fucked up

Rain O' Fire Frazier. She's so trans-coded it's unreal. I love her and how fucked up she is and how she's literally just in this to not get Murderized by her metaphorical family. Girl Same. It is really funny that she gets introduced with a functional kanji pun,

shows up with all her shit fucked up and cracked,

and then leaves with the closest thing of explicit lesbianism that Wildbow has written other than Victoria Dallon's weird thing with the milf therapist.

but from what i hear of Wildbow i'm pretty sure he'll add in a passage about her wanting to settle down with a nice Decidedly Male guy and get pregnant or whatever.

the main thing about Sveta is that she goes "well i *see* myself as disabled" while being like. a quadruple amputee. girl if you are not disabled who is

god. i love these characters. it's such a shame that they're gonna become cops. i hate it here. i hate that i'm gonna read like 1.8 million more words of this. fuck me. fuuuuuuuuuuck.

all in all 7/10 so far

[hedgiwithapen]

The AU where Team Leverage is attempting to con Victoria Kord during the same few days that the Scarab is stolen.

Hardison adjusted the dress uniform he'd spent half the night sewing patches and arranging medals on. Authenticity was important, even if no one ever looked closely enough to see if one of the medals was a startrek badge. It wasn't--he wasn't going to risk a whole con, days of prep, on one of The Shadiest companies in Florida--for a geek joke. But he was tempted, sometimes, and never more than when he was posing as some stiff military monster at a party, talking atrocities with the Mark. Victoria Kord was certainly high on the list of 'People I feel Dirty Just Breathing The Same Air As' which was only not an official list because Eliot had pointed out that keeping such a list might bite them all in the ass.  Hardison had no intention of admitting he was right, but still. 

The food, catered by Eliot, was delicious, which counted for something. He glanced discreetly at his watch, pleased that the man he was impersonating was the type to wear real watches, and nodded to one of many hidden cameras. Originally, the plan had been to crash the party and find the paperwork about the illegal land seizures, find a way to get people back the homes they were being wrongfully evicted from. Snooping had revealed a bigger threat, and bigger target.  Parker would start her run for the secure project's room, plug in his code, and wipe all the OMAC data from Kord's system, ruining Victoria's credibility for her investors and tanking the company in three... two...

"Uh, guys? We have a problem. Like, capital p Problem," Breanna's voice hissed through the coms. 

"What?" he asked, then feigned a smile at Kord, "is that  fantastic--" he pretended to cut himself off. "My apologies, I was distracted by these canapes.  I tell you, we do not get food this flavorful in DC. You know how to make your investors feel welcome."

Over his chatter, Bre continued "Someone else just hacked the system. Majorly. I can't get it back. Hmm. I think I...might have seen this before..."

"We've got another problem," Eliot said from where he stood in chef whites, slicing meat at a table. "One of Kord's goons just walked in. Hardison, Parker, you need to bail. Now."

"Why? I'm almost--" 

"School of the Americas. That's Carapax. We'll find another way to shut them down, you need to move, now."

"And what are you going to do?" Breanna asked.

"Hey!" Parker said to someone in the hall with her. "You're messing up my heist!"

"Your heist? This is ou--my heist," said a young voice on the other end. 

"Parker, who's with you?" Eliot hissed, moving urgently now. Carapax was blocking the line of escape for Hardison, and that would not do at all.

"Uhhhhh blue buggy dude?"

Hardison's eyes bulged. "Excuse me," he said to Victoria, then muttering 

"Like... Blue Beetle?"

"I am Khaji Da," a new voice spliced into the com system, over the sound of Breanna's "Oh, no you did not just hack my coms." 

"Yes, I did."

"It's an expression," the same young man's voice said. "Um. Look. Why don't you steal whatever it is you're stealing, I'll get what I came for and we go before we all get killed?"

The overlapping chatter was going to give Eliot a headache.

"Oh, HEY," Breanna said again. "I do know you. Hey, can your hacker hear us? Tell him it's GarlicBre52. From the forums. Uh, Eliot, red truck, oh shit, and you're about to have company. the bad kind."

 Eliot rolled his eyes, and located the truck. Carapax seemed to have noticed it too. 

"Bre, Hardison, get ready to pick up Parker and go. I'll warn your nerd friend." Eliot rolled his shoulders, ready for a fight.  

Several stories up, a pulse of blue light shattered a row of windows, drawing all attention up. Eliot hoped the distraction would be enough to steal a superhero… and his back up.

[trickstarbrave]

wip whenever

hiiiii i got tagged by @nocturance again SO it's wip time

tagging: @boethiahspillowbook @orfeoarte @soundwavefucker69 (fuck you show me ur stuff minty) @thescrolls-haveforetold ANDDDD YOU READING THIS IF U WANT A TAG

so far for pictures we got. these guys being gay. as always (i love when they stare and are so close to kissing but dont. the tension is what does it for me)

we also have almalexia in judith slaying holofernes but tbh this will prob take. a lot longer. jesus this painting is more complicated than i thought and i am. stupid. (nerevar is holofernes in this)

AND FOR WRITING: a part of moon and star in an upcoming chapter. warnings though for uhhhhh racism, sexual assault mentioned, and slavery justification. its getting messy and moraelyn is being kinda gross im not gonna lie. make no mistake though he is in the wrong no matter how much he has to justify it and he wont stay azura's champion for long.

--

Moraelyn had simply wanted to discuss things with the new head of House Dagoth. Sure, the lord was still young, but supposedly the hortator had been his canvasari. 

Moraelyn, prince without a crown or city, wanted to understand. Almalexia Indoril had promised Nerevar was a great champion who almost single handedly rescued Voryn from nord capture. She wanted to go so far as to name him hortator of two Great Houses, something that had never been done before. He wanted reassurance that this man would truly be of good help, but he couldn’t help but be suspicious. A couple of battalions, even led by the most clever commander, couldn’t destroy a dozen or so nord camps; not without a better explanation at least. And there was the matter of Nerevar’s mixed blood--the nordic nose, the softer shape of his brow, the texture of his hair and lighter tone of his skin--it was clear he was part nord. 

The prince couldn’t help but be suspicious. Sure, not all with mixed blood were traitors, but plenty were. Many chose to align themselves with the nords, cutting their ears to look more manish, adopting a full nordic accent, and selling their secrets to the enemy in exchange for refuge and glory. Others sold them out out of familial bonds--parents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and cousins with nordic blood were harder to kill for them. They were more loyal to the blood of frost walkers than the velothi. 

It wasn’t hard to see Nerevar being the same, especially when he already had trial by combat for treason. Of course he’d know about the nords’ battle plans that day if they were telling him the information. Of course he would be able to negotiate for Voryn’s freedom in exchange for a few secrets, all to bring him back and make himself look better. What was to say when they marched to Ebonheart he didn’t sell out Moraelyn and his men? 

But Moraelyn was not unreasonable. If there was an alternative explanation for Voryn’s freedom and his ability to defeat the nords, he would listen to it. Perhaps Voryn, who was there, would be willing to tell him. He didn’t see House Dagoth working together with the nords--they were suspicious, but he’d more so believe they join hands with the dwemer they were so close to than the frost walkers. 

The issue was speaking with Voryn alone. The chimer road in the same cart as Nerevar all day, and when they made camp stayed close by his side, eating and talking with him. Moraelyn waited, knowing if there was ever a time Voryn would be away from the half blooded chimer who clung to him, it would be when it came time to sleep. 

Yet, as he parted the House Dagoth tent--making sure there was still light inside so he knew Voryn was still awake, he jumped at the sight that greeted him.

Voryn Dagoth was awake: sitting up slightly, reading over a scroll in his cot. That wasn’t the usual part--instead what was concerning was the fact he was clearly bare except for the blankets around his waist…

And beside him, already asleep, was the white hair half blooded chimer himself, equally as nude. 

Moraelyn’s face flushed both in embarrassment and anger. Had Nerevar earned his position as head of House Dagoth through sex? It was a very good tool of manipulation, but he thought House Dagoth with their worship of Mephala would be immune to such a thing. 

“A word, Lord Dagoth?” Moraelyn asked, trying to keep his voice level. Voryn’s eyes were already narrowed at the interruption, his hand stopping the slow strokes he was giving to his lover’s hair. 

“Wait outside.” Voryn replied, getting up and tugging on a robe that had been left on the rug simultaneously. Nerevar beside him stirred, humming confused, before being hushed. Moraelyn wasted little time in retreating outside, disgust and anger bubbling away at him. 

Voryn Dagoth had returned, after what Moraelyn could tell was a silencing spell cast so the man sleeping inside couldn’t hear. 

“What did you need?” He asked, arms crossed firmly over his chest, clearly enraged by the interruption but trying to temper his reaction. 

“I had originally come to ask if you truly thought Nerevar was a capable enough warrior to liberate my city,” Moraelryn tried to hide the disgusted sneer and failed. “But I can see you were not as objective of a judge as I believed.”

Voryn scoffed in response. “Nerevar is more than capable enough. If anyone can liberate Ebonheart, it would be him.” Red eyes bore into Moraelyn’s. “Certainly better than any of your men could fare.” 

“Have you no shame?” Moraelyn responded, offended. “Just because he warms your bed that doesn’t make him a better fighter than the champion of Azura--” 

“Whether he warms my bed or not has nothing to do with his ability to fight.” Voryn didn’t back down in the slightest. “I’ve seen him battle with my own two eyes.” 

“Did he even battle to get you back? Or did he barter with nords in exchange for your freedom as his lover?” He could much more easily see Nerevar making jokes about how he wanted his elven paramour back with the nordic men and what he would have to do to make it happen. Yet, after he said that, Voryn gave a loud bark of laughter in his face.

“Had you seen him on the battlefield at that time,” Voryn’s face was now deathly serious, staring almost through him in an uncanny way that made his skin crawl, “You wouldn’t dare even joke about such a thing.” His words were stern, carefully enunciated. “Barter? With the men who desecrated my family’s tomb and ruined my mother’s funeral? Who tortured me and kept me in chains? Who were going to mail back my head?” Moraelyn always disliked the blood red of House Dagoth’s eyes; they only made his skin crawl when they spoke like this, like he was staring down Mephala herself. “He destroyed them. Slaughtered them like animals.” Voryn then turned his head slightly, sneering in disgust himself at Moraelyn. “But what do I expect from a house who is only kicking up a fuss that they didn’t sell him into slavery.”

“Selling half bloods into slavery is the right thing to do.” Moraelyn excused it. “Do you know how many of them are traitors? Who drove us out of our own city--slaughtering innocents in doing so--all to curry nordic favor? Who mutilate their bodies by cutting their ears and refusing to speak the velothi tongue?” House Dagoth, so far up north they rarely even encountered those of mixed blood wouldn’t know, but Moraelyn did. When he was still just a boy, still learning the sword, they clamored to kill him and hang his head from the city gates. They tried to trick him, using their chimeri appearance to lure him into a false sense of security, before trying to slice him with poisoned daggers. “And that’s not to say how many are the product of nordic men assaulted chimer women against their will, forcing them to give birth to their bastards like livestock just to torture them. No doubt he is just the same--”

Voryn’s hand grabbed him by the collar, but from the bloodlust radiating off him, Moraelyn didn’t doubt he’d much rather be strangling him. 

“Shut. Your. Mouth.” Voryn growled, teeth bared like an animal. 

“Deny it if you want to.” Moraelyn glared back. “You haven’t had to see the horrors. I did.” Voryn then, enraged, shoved him aside, a spark spell dancing on his fingertips. “They are dangerous, disloyal, and violent. And isn’t a mercy to instead have them doing labor then forcing their chimeri families to raise them? To be reminded of the pain they had to endure?”

“Do I have to cut out your tongue myself?” Voryn threatened.

“Then prove me wrong.” Moraelyn challenged him. “Tell me his mother’s name and how much she adores him. Tell me about his extended family and all the praises they can give him.” Voryn’s hands clenched. “But you can’t, can you?” He asked now, knowing he was right.  “If you dare speak this nonsense in front of Nerevar I will ensure you will not live to see Ebonheart ever again.” Voryn finally declared, turning to go back to his tent. “Doubt his abilities if you wish. Get yourself killed on the battlefield from your paranoia for all I care.” The dark haired chimer shot him one last, deadly glare. “But don’t you dare speak to him this way, or I will be the one to end you, not any nord.”

[marypsue]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @rocketnebulas for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

That would be 158!

2. What’s your total word count?

Uhhhhh 1,905,572. Ahah.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Recently and actively, Stranger Things and The Lost Boys. I've also been reasonably prolific for Gravity Falls and Rise of the Guardians.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

This actually surprised me! Duskfall (a Bella/Tanya Twilight AU) is top of this list. And then the rest are more in line with what I expected: Raising Stakes (Gravity Falls vampire!Stan AU), Return, Rewind, Rewrite (Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), Reincarnation Blues (also Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), and A Semi-Normal Life (ditto).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most of 'em, eventually.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that's gotta go to this one, where everybody's dead but the main character, who thinks it's his fault. I don't write a lot of angsty non-ambiguous endings, but this one's pretty explicit that things Do Not Improve from here.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhhh. Hm.

Actually, it might be Hive! Which is a weird thing to say about a horror story, and yet.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully I haven't! Although I did once get a tumblr ask trying to gotcha me for writing Jack Frost/Pitch Black, which was extremely funny, because 1) that ship is between two several-hundred-year-old immortals who tried very hard to kill each other for the entire movie and this person was concerned because they thought there might be an age gap between them, and 2) I had written that ship exactly once, at least five years prior to receiving the ask, as a favour for a friend.

9. Do you write smut?

Verrrrrrry occasionally.

10. Do you write crossovers?

There's a reason my profile on AO3 includes the line "I was born with the gift of crossover femslash and I intend to make it everyone's problem."

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Only, as far as I know, by the usual AO3-scraping suspects. Although someone did once rewrite a fairly unique AU of mine from a different character's perspective, using almost all the same plot points, and didn't breathe a word that it had been inspired by my fic or that my fic even existed, which, like. Man, I'm glad you wrote that thing and felt good enough about it to share it, but also a little bit what the fuck.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times! It's always an honour.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Exactly once. Wouldn't do it again unless the stars aligned absolutely perfectly.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's a trick question and one that I will not be answering at this time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I am going to finish Something Borrowed, Something Blues, so I guess that doesn't count. Uhhhh it would have been nice to finish Imbalance, but I just didn't have as much of a plan for it as I thought I had, and the more time passes the poorer taste the plan I did have seems to be in.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Personally, I think that characterisation is the big one. I can pull together a plot that makes sense and has an emotionally satisfying conclusion. I'm very happy with the way I write suspense/tension. And I've had a couple people now tell me that I do a good job of being descriptive without the description getting in the way, which I'm very proud about.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing! Action scenes! The Dreaded Middle! Not overusing italics!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I've done it, like, twice and I had to use Google Translate because I didn't speak the language and I felt so dirty. For anything more than a word or two, I'd personally either describe the character talking without actually writing out what they're saying (if the POV character doesn't understand what they're saying) or write out/paraphrase the dialogue in English (if the POV character is the speaker/if the POV character does understand what the speaking character is saying).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Wrote for was probably Pokemon, wayyyyyyyyy back in elementary school. Posted was the Hugh Jackman-Kate Beckinsale fever dream Van Helsing. Thankfully I think that one is lost amongst the ruins of ff.net.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's still the road goes ever on. It's gonna be the road goes ever on for, like, a while.

I'm going to tag @gretchensinister, @tejoxys, @amethystunarmed, @seiya234, @marzipanandminutiae, @bixxelated, @daddygrandpaandthebeaver, @enquiringangel, @astriiformes, @scribefindegil, @mickeymagpie, and anybody else who'd like to give this a shot!

[narwhalandchill]

having terminal narwhal brainrot is kinda the worst actually bc. sometimes my brain just gets Stuck on all these tiny things and observations that are Very Funny Indeed but also like. i have no actual clue whether its Intended to be significant at all in terms of implication or if im just losing it but its rent free either way and its not going away like. take this one for a completely coincidental example i definitely havent had swirling around my head rent free for like the last 3 weeks nopers no way uhhhhh

so act I of fontaine AQ right???? first narwhal mentions we get from childe in the story???

"it" right?? which like fine yeah makes sense. mysterious massive eldritch sea creature wouldnt consider that out of place for a choice of pronoun. in no small part prolly due to ajax just taking after skirk in terms of how she refers to and views the narwhal. its not rly carrying any connotation of personhood and/or sentience purely in terms of the language used

Now. if its such an unsurprising choice. why am i fixated on this

WELL. lets say purely hypothetically. wouldnt it be like. really funny if after Multiple languages. explicitly went for a non-human moniker when it comes to childe speaking about the narwhal. that he would then like. possibly. the Second they make actual direct and personal telepathic connection with one another. pull a complete 180 on that. in like act III mayhaps

"someone" calling him??????

Like. isnt it Interesting. that he went from "it". to IMMEDIATELY assigning explicit personhood to whatever originated that whalesong call.

Its telepathic connection. Right??? like these mfs are Literally in each others heads. right??? and yet. Somehow. PURELY off of that call that single moment of fleeting impression and feeling that gravitational pull towards one another. youre Instinctively assigning sentience personhood and character to that voice. Huh

(so based and narwhalpilled ajax i knew you were a truther and an ally)

and like what makes me fixate on this so much and not just go oh its prolly nothing is just. they didnt HAVE to write it that way right??? they couldve made it "something calling me..." . or even for intentional ambiguity something like "i hear a call somewhere..." . but Nooooooo its. someone. they made ajax go from "it" to "someone". in the exact span it took for him to make direct metaphysical contact with his narwhal.

obviously like. yes ive made my case against the "lmao dumb pet that overeats" misconception Many Times Before for obvious reasons bc thats My beloved and theres Plenty enough canon material even excluding this one to very much suggest the narwhal is indeed a fully sentient immortal being capable of complex thought i just. for ajax of all people to seemingly note that so instinctively the moment they make contact as well............

yeah let me scream real quick thanks im just. HHHHHHHHHH these 2 kill me irl

and NO its not just english i triple checked. like first i checked german and that shit goes from es/etwas to jemand. non-human to explicitly person-specific

(beyond the obvious. whale as a masculine noun)

& then w chinese obviously not a speaker but i took the same lines from project ambr, got the translation and pinyin with google and as long as im not missing sth huge and/or wikipedia isnt lying about how chinese pronouns work. its explicitly non-human 3rd person to very much person-specific interrogative "who" too.

so like. that sure is a very specific and curious choice to make with the writing. multiple times. in multiple languages. when there very much were Multiple very easy ways to write it Not in such a way. for the one (1) guy with undeniably the closest and most personal bond to the narwhal. to say That. in response to its call. its just a little bit of an inch resting detail to have. just a bit

yeah ajax mister im actually going to need you to explain this one to the class as well in addition to all the OTHER shit you have the audacity to spew thanks

[skelingtonsderek]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @willowmckinley for tagging me!

How many works do you have on ao3? 67.- 29 are Teen Wolf and the next runner up is Justified at 24

What's your total ao3 word count? 565,534 total… Rinse Cycle (Teen Wolf) is my biggest single story at 145,979 not counting the bonus coda. The biggest series I have for the current fandom I’m focused on is Bad Habits at 92,533

What fandoms do you write for? Justified, Teen Wolf… I would love to do more Grimm and I’ve wanted to write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer for so long but I always end up backing away slowly holding my hands up in defeat.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Did You Expect With A Mouth Like That? - For Teen Wolf at 1,902

When You Are No Longer Useful - For Teen Wolf at 763

The Hard Part- Teen Wolf at 619

We Have Worn Out The Meaning Of Our Clothes (part of the Apparel Series) - Teen Wolf at 582

Every Nickname Has A Reason (part of the Apparel Series)- Teen Wolf at 470 And a sixth because 4 and 5 are the same series:

The Killing Type- Teen Wolf at 456

The benefits of being unpopular means I get pretty easily dodged. The next closest I have that's the current fandom I've been writing for is Remembrance. at 170

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Every single one of them every time. I’m trying not to compulsively respond to every response forever though so I’m practicing only responding a few times. Not sure I enjoy it though. It being making myself stop replying once we're two or three replies deep.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I know this might sound strange to anyone who has started but been incapable of finishing the stories I write but I’m not very good at ending unhappily. I’d say the angstiest would be It’s About Boyd (Justified) or maybe Scenes From The Battle of Us (Justified) is a good angster.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? . Uhhhhh….. Rinse Cycle or maybe Remembrance.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I think the closest I get are Sterek shippers who read some of my fic and then get a bit pupset that Sterek isn’t end game even though I always warn that it isn’t at the start if it isn’t.

9. Do you write smut? I’m not sure I remember how to write things that don’t have at least 7 sex scenes in them.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I’m not personally a fan of crossovers so much. I might read them if the premise is good enough but it’s not common for me. I find that they tend to get kind of muddled and it’s at times difficult to fuse the two worlds together in a way that makes the various themes of each cohesive. That being said, I don’t mind them. Just find that the combined elements tend to distract instead of add. It's a task to crossover universes and I don't think it's one that I'm up to.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I had a problem a very long time ago with some one reposting mine without permission or attribution on an unaffiliated third party e-publisher but that was super long ago. I have done the opposite though. I used to make it a very small hobby of mine to write short stories or poems or whatnot and leave them anonymously in people’s inboxes with a note that it was theirs to do with whatever they wished. I’d on occasion also write serial stories and pop them in to ask boxes on tumblr with permission one part at a time for a person's favorite pairing or universe.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve had people ask if they can but I’ve not seen that it has happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not fic, no. But I’ve worked on popcorn stories and collaborative pieces elsewheres. They were all original pieces so they wouldn't be available on AO3.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I don’t think I have one.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? In fic? I only have two that would be considered WIPs. One of them (The House Carpenter) has an ending already and is complete but there is an un-published sequel I took down because I didn’t like where it was going but I plan to work on that one in the winter. The other one is an active prompt fill style fic whose ending will be when I run out of prompts. (Bad Habits) I think the closest I got is that there’s a fill I did forever ago that was supposed to have two endings and I only wrote one and never did the second. I’m not sure I ever will. I want to but I haven’t. ([Fill] My Mouth With Ecstasy)

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think my strength is in the grounding. I like to track and block a character’s movements and make sure there are as little unaccounted for motions as possible. Outside of that… Maybe my flagrant disregard for grammar conventions?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? My flagrant disregard for grammar conventions. Also sometimes I get hung up on granular details that make it difficult for a scene to play out appropriately. Also also I’m very loosy goosy and don’t exercise enough precision or control over what I write. Also also also I like using repetitive descriptions too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? This can be useful and I have written dialogue at times in another language but I try to limit it as much as possible because I don’t speak any other languages well. I think it can be done very well but just not by me despite my attempting to repeatedly.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Probably Sherlock (BBC).

20. Favorite fic you've written? All of them. But Rinse Cycle and Remembrance. are close seconds.

I'm pretty sure Willow tagged literally everyone I've ever known so if you see this and you wish to do it then please claim that I tagged you to do it.

Would you like to do this @acorrespondence @im-not-thinking-confetti-cannons @apolardream @tallsinspace @gaylanrivens ?

[beevean]

Do you think part of the reason for Hector's treatment in NFCV was because the writers did understand Hector was a parallel to Dracula, but N!Dracula is "uwu sympathetic <3 husband ignoring my last wishes and beliefs!" so of course Hector can't have same storyline as the games?

You're giving too much credit to Warren Ellis lmao. dude wanted to name Godbrand "Mathias Cronqvist" become somehow he missed that it was Dracula's human name, and you think he understood, or even cared about, Hector's narrative significance?

I can believe that the original plan for him was to slowly become the Hector we see in CoD, in the same way Alucard was meant to be perceived as younger than his SoTN self. That makes sense, in theory. While the real Hector would never consider culling as a good compromise, N!Hector displays some morals and doubts as early as episode 2: "All I'm saying is that our goals can be met without gleefully paddling in the blood of children." You can already see the contrast between him and N!Isaac, who is 100% loyal and ready to throw hands at anyone who dares to question Dracula: "No, no, no! Dracula will decide, not you. Threaten me all you like, I will die for him, if I don't kill you first. You do not question my loyalty." So this checks.

(also this is the mother of nitpicks but i hate how N!Isaac just calls Dracula by name. It's "Lord Dracula", asshole, at least be consistent with your bootlicking.)

Carmilla's inclusion threw everything off. She turned a perfectly good story of Hector slowly coming to terms with his own humanity and choosing to flee rather than become a weapon of mad slaughter, into a shitty GoT ripoff where she basically played politics and manipulations by taking advantage of the Lord's weakness to further her own agenda. And she used Hector's doubts to turn him on her side, stripping him of his agency. And then she humiliated him because look at the stronk kween as she beats the absolute shit of this weak, helpless, defenseless man. And after that, Hector derailed too much to even approach his original storyline: Ellis was too busy jerking off to his mommy fetish to care about an actual character arc, and the Deats allowed it because uhhhhh kojima already brought the horny we're just continuing her work :V

(Dracula doesn't look good either, btw, as he simply let Carmilla go after she humiliated him in front of the court and did what she wanted out of apathy because muh depression. Same for Isaac, who understood that making Carmilla happy would not be beneficial to them but went along with it because "she will stop causing mischief". No wonder Carmilla thinks all men are idiots :V oh but Hector, the only one who actually cared about unifying the squabbling generals, is the one called "a simple creature". fuck you.)

Speaking of which, it doesn't help that, as early as S2, Hector was seen in-universe as the weak link of the court. Dracula and Isaac have zero respect for him and constantly question his intelligence, a complete 180° from canon where Hector was Dracula's special babyboy favorite and Isaac was torn between respect and resentment. My questions about what the hell is he even doing there aside, I honestly don't know what was the point of that: I can see a parallel with Lenore later on, who also seems to not be very respected by her besties despite her alleged cunning, but since I doubt Lenore was in the plans, I can only see that as Ellis deciding to weaken Hector's character for... shit and giggles?

That being said. It sure is interesting how Dracula was treated as a poor grieving husband who totally deserved his happy ending with his happy wife, Isaac was given a whole speech about How Much He Has Changed and how super cool and badass and awesome he has become, while Hector, after being literally dehumanized and raped, only "evolved" by... deciding he had to bring Dracula back. And he was stopped by the ever so wise Isaac. Oh but who gives a shit about Curse of Darkness and its lore, it's just an aggressively mid PS2 game, totally irrelevant, we can mangle it as much as we want who cares about the stupid games they're old anyway hahahahahhahahaa

[retirement-home-rumble]

off anon cause I want people to know who wrote this, it's me and my autism and I must be known for it. -drunk former anon (FYI I have dyslexia and write the way I speak so if I repeat myself its not on purpose.)

Why C!Philza and C!Techno are the old man duo. As to not go into my own hc’s i will be using canon or widespread accepted hc’s in this post.

Lets start with the easier, C!Techno. During his birthday stream on the dsmp he has a conversation with C!Quackity.

Quackity: Hey, it's your birthday? Techno: Ya, I’m old now. … Quackity: How old are you now…? Techno: Uhhhhh… I don’t know. Quackity: Huh? Techno: Yeah, I’m not quite sure… Quackity: You don't know how old you are? It's your birthday, you know the date but you don't know how old you are? Techno: It’s been so long.

While there are other lore conversations that would imply he's younger than an old man (ie Ghostbur’s book saying Wilbur and Techno used to spar when they were kids. And in a stream, Wilbur says Techno is in his late 20's.) Techno’s own more recent account counteracts this making it more canon. Also, the fact that Techno has stated that he and Phil are “longtime friends” as it makes more sense for the lore. With Phil canonically being immortal and an old man this does imply a similar lifespan to Philza.

Techno had canonized the fact that he only had one life (called hardcore mode) “Where I come from, people don't have multiple lives.” now while in the dsmp canon people have multiple lives, the implication that smplive is canon backing this up even. If smp live is canon the fact that while he was on the server he didn't die would help to back up the fact that he has one life and has lived for a while. Now does this mess a little with the ages of the characters? Yes, but if anything it makes some characters a few years older than implied in the series, not enough for any of them to be old.

Now on the fact that he can and will kill people in canon, the whole “Technoblade never dies” bit is real, he won't die and he will kill. He could crush any old bag of bones to mush with his bare hands. I will go more in depths with the duo part of this paper. On the server, Techno has one of the highest kill counts at 5 without suffering from a single death and has maimed, scared, or terrorized the other characters so many times it's hard to count. Quackity canonically had a fear of techno and was hunted down by him at least once, Techno used that fear against Quackity to scare him just for fun

Now the more complicated, C!Philza minecraft. In canon, he is old, old as shit. He's called old in canon and is considered the oldest character in the canon, the wiki even notes on C!Schlatts page “If Schlatt were to be revived in early July 2022, he would be more than 69 years old, assuming that he died in his 20s. This makes him the oldest character on the SMP, besides Philza.” Phil is old, old. Phil is also canonically a father, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather. As his son (C!Wilbur), who has a son (C!Fundy) who has a son (Yogurt a fox npc)

In the lore stream ‘awesamdude and Boomer NA lore finale Ft. Philza’ It mentions at the beginning “A very long time ago” Phil mentions his wife (who at this point was known as ‘Her’.) implying that he is under the moniker of The Angel of Death, C!Sam also mentions how “Hes the only person that can hang around you now” “I can be there” and that Phil was “Looking for someone you could be friends with for a long time” Phil also mentions in that same conversation “I could die… just because I’ve lived a long time doesn't mean I’m not invincible” implying Phil is old and won't die of old age. Now the time point in where this happens is very vague and not stated at all but it can be assumed Phil has been alive for a while at this point.

At one point in the canon, it was stated that for Phil he was in isolation for like 500 years in his hard-core world. While this was de-canonized some time ago this is still the accepted canon, putting the old bird man at a minimum of 501, it's assumed to be longer because his other hard-core worlds have been mentioned in the canon. Most importantly the baby zombie incident (tm) in where CC!Philza lost his 5-year-long hard-core world to a baby zombie and spider. Techno multiple times keeps up with the bit and goes “Philza lookout” while screaming every time a baby zombie appears. So it's likely that Phil is older than 600 and had a near-death experience with a baby zombie, an event that techno is aware of and feels the need to be protective of his friend over.

Phil is also popularly hced to be so old time doesn't work the same way for him, to explain the reasons why he set off an enderpearl stasis chamber 3 months and not 3 days after techno went to prison. (that or he can not read as he is so old he doesn't remember how to read in modern languages because when he learned to read it was a different language system.)

now while this is less canon and more the fandom part of Phil's character (cause man, is the fandom wild sometimes) ill mainly be bringing up the Tumblr side as it's the more fun side. For a while we had Phil being called Dilfza and at some point had also been called Gilfza when people pointed out that in canon Phil is a grandpa, so on occasion, Phil will be called Dilfza or Gilfza. The Gilfza part was mainly used by a handful of people starting in april 2021 but was first mentioned on Tumblr on january 2021

Onto if Phil could win and crush the other old people? Yes, yes he could. In canon, he is the angel of death, a name given to him originally on smpEarth a server where the Antarctic Empire took over the world and committed various amounts of war crimes. Phil also in the dsmp has participated in doomsday willingly and took revenge on the country that was responsible for his son's insanity and took great joy in taking out his anger on the people, setting off withers and bombs to do so. Phil has little regard for life when he feels it is ok to snuff it out adding on to his angel of death name.

Now time for the duo part and why you should not separate them.

There are multiple times during the canon where Phil and Techno show they are ride or die for the other. When Phil was questioned about Techno's location by the Butcher army he says “Where do you think this loyalty I have for this country exists? I'm not loyal to this country at all. I'm pretty new here, if anything you guys need to prove to me that I should care." Phil does not tell them anything about Techno’s location and goes on to say how close he and Techno are and that their friendship means more to him than New L’manburg does to him and how “We do not rat out each other.”. In fact, it only gets revealed to them about once they trash Phil’s house and find a compass that's connected to a lodestone which then gets Phil put under house arrested for being non-compliant. When Techno gets captured and sees the state Phil was left in he shoats “Phil what did they do to you.” and “You guys leave Phil alone, just take me.” showing how much care they have for each other, to the point where they would risk their own health and safety for the other to be ok.

Some of the most famous quotes in the fandom in fact come from the two of them and their show of Camaraderie,

Techno: "Phil, I have to tell you something." Philza: "Yeah? What's up?" Techno: "You're the only friend I have left in this world, Phil. The only friend I have left- which is why. I want you to have this compass. If you ever need me, Phil, I'm going into retirement right now. I'm giving up on my violent ways, but if you ever need me, Phil, I will fight for you. I will do whatever it takes… to help you"

And the ever-popular "You know what, Phil? For you- For you the world, Phil. All right?” Along with the fact that Techno trusted Phil enough to tell him about his chat that made up the voices in his head telling him to do violence (where it is also restated the fact they have known each other for a long time and at one point his violent tendency were worse). Later on in the story they even go as far as to make a secret group to discuss and dismantle governments together with the other being their most trusted person in the group.

Techno at some point gives Phil his will when he leaves to go into the prison, inside the book having parts of his actual will and the instructions for Phil to use the Enderpearl stasis chamber to bring him back from the prison after 3 days (as mentioned earlier.) What does ensue is playful banter about how Phil can't read but over all this doesn't even touch on their friendship.

These old men care so much about each other they are basically a package deal and you just can't separate them, where one goes the other will at least try to follow because they know they are stronger together and because they had spent at least 20 years together (the age of Phil’s son Wilbur, as Wilbur does remember sparing with Techno when he was a kid.) and what could be at least a couple century's together as allies and putting their lives in the hand of the other to keep them safe. Its also a popular hc that Phil was Techno’s mentor (as there was at some point some canon evidence that Phil knew Techno when he was a kid.) so to follow with the fact they are both much older this is even more of a reason why they should not be separated. thank you for coming to my ted talk ^^

Oh the power of autism. (This was indeed the duo I thought you were talking about)