#you guys will ship anything I stg

[show-me-memes-pls]

You see, I would love to look at posts relevant to my interests. But every time I look at tags for a movie or show, it’s an onslaught of every character combo imaginable making out.

[b0ylik3r]

do you guys ever just have a moment where you realize that "oh. oh that ship im obsessed with. everyone else who ships it is a proshipper. they're all proshippers and think the ship that i like that is not a proship is a proship". because i just had that now.

[chsopnk]

「 ✦ XOXO ✦ 」

☆. # SHIP — choso, toji, sukuna, toge (separately) x gn!reader

☆. # AUTHOR’S NOTE — first kisses with the boys. ;; requested.

☆. # WARNINGS — mentions of blood in toji’s part.

CHOSO.

i’d imagine your first kiss with choso would be sweet. definitely the most normal out of all of them (😭)

he’s never kissed someone before so you’re his first kiss ever!!

he really doesn’t know what to do at all. when you lean closer to him he’s like ????? because he’s not entirely sure what you’re trying to do

but once your lips touch his, his face goes BRIGHT RED

definitely freezes up and just stares at you wide-eyed

i think the first kiss with choso wouldn’t be anything wild. honestly, it’s probably just a little peck on the lips

like a “mwah” and that’s it, but he still freaks out about it

also. choso will definitely look all dazed afterwards, his fingers reaching up to touch his lips

might be a little confused at first since he’s not really sure what to make of it

give him 5 minutes and he’ll be back and asking, “can you do that again?”

TOJI.

with this one, there’s no holding back. he doesn’t care if it’s the first or last kiss.

he will bruise your lips 🥴🥴

toji would hold the back of your head and press you even closer to him, despite the fact that not a piece of paper would fit between you two

first kiss? no. he’s eating your mouth.

i feel like even if he told himself (and maybe you) that he’ll be gentle and that it’ll be this sweet little thing, he just CANNOT hold himself back

self control = 0.000 for this man i stg

but then if it does go out of control, trust that he’ll blame you for it. you’re just too hot, what can he do against that? 💀

i’d imagine your first kiss with toji would happen after a particularly hard mission. when one of you is all bloody and you’re both exhausted and aching.

and it’s definitely a ‘heat of the moment’ type of thing and after that, it’ll take 5-7 business days for both of you to come to terms with the fact that MAYBE, just maybe, you’ve got some kind of feelings for each other

he doesn’t know what a gentle kiss is and will always use tongue. the kiss to seal the wedding? good luck 😭😭😭

SUKUNA.

first important question here is: which mouth are you trying to kiss 💀 mf got like 3.

this man’s kisses are nasty—whether in a good or bad way is honestly your decision LMAO

with sukuna, it’s all or nothing. so there’s no sweet little peck on the lips.

it also heavily depends on who you are, i think. but if we’re talking about the first kiss you have with him, i’d say it’d probably happen during a fight.

as funny as that is, he likes when strong people fight him and i think he likes it even better if they’re a little feisty

now he probably always thought you were interesting and you’ve been hanging out together. but yeah. first kiss after or DURING a (probably) physical fight you have with him 💀

he’s rough with you.

a lot of tongue, teeth clashing probably. another one that will eat your mouth.

one hand is wrapped around your neck when he kisses you, always.

he also bites (😒)

TOGE.

i think with toge, you were probably best friends before the kiss happened.

you were on his bed together in the dorms. he was playing a game on his phone and you were watching him.

you were probably messing around with each other, joking and fighting with pillows or something like that.

and it’s the most cliché thing ever but:

he somehow ends up on top of you, his arms on either side of your head.

and then you just stare at each other for a while. both of your cheeks flaring up a bright red at the proximity, but neither of you tries to move away.

with toge, it’s slow and gentle i’d imagine.

not a quick peck, but there’s no tongue involved or anything—at least not during the very first kiss you guys have together.

but it’s a gentle touch, his lips lingering for a while before he pulls away. and then there’s another round of simply staring at each other. both of you are a bit dazed, looking into each other’s eyes while trying to figure out what exactly just happened

but once the moment’s broken, toge gets off of you, hiding his face in his collar to stop you from seeing just how red his cheeks are <3

[sneppu]

Hello! Welcome to The Sneep Zone

You may call me Nagi

Main blog: @nagoo (I'm also on Bluesky! absolutely NO MINORS on the bluesky, no exceptions. nsfw art will be going there.)

@headmasterseverussnape and @sevsbestfriend are my beloveds

u better be able to tell fiction from reality i stg.

first and foremost: fuck jkr. i do not endorse her. i do not agree with her. we dont do that weird shit here.

we do different weird shit instead (bask in the decadence of The Sneep)

This sideblog is for me to post all my Snape art and Snape related ramblings! I am addicted to snape fics, and have found myself needing to make fanart for some of my favorite writers. such things will be posted here!

Severus Snape is my favorite guy!

I am known to refer to him as: Sneep, Snorp, Sneb, The Sneberous Sneb, The Snebulous One, He Who Sneeps In The Dark, SneepSnorp, Mother, Sneppu, El Sneepo, Snorpo, Snib, The Best One, The Only One That Matters, The Community Boyfriend, Babygirl, etc.

rest assured, I am talking about Severus Snape every single time

I ship him with everyone! yes, even [insert character]. I always tag ships so block the tag or w/e if theres one you dont like.

I truly and genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, do not care even a little bit about The Grievances u may have about my ships or my sneeps. I cannot stress enough how much that is not my problem. If you're the type to throw a tantrum over ships and fictional content I'm just gonna block you tbh.

Dark/Fucky content WILL be found on this blog. Snape was practically MADE for that shit and I like to project my traumas onto him so like. ykno. I expect ppl with critical thinking on here ONLY.

in my ideal world, everyone would love and cherish Sneep. I tend to focus on marauder's era Snape

not to be rude, but i kind of only care about Snape really. the slytherins are cool and chill too (especially Lucius, Rosier, and Mulciber), but i mostly care about how they interact with and potentially fall in love with The Sneep. the marauders are rat bastards and i ship them with Snape in a "grovel eternally for the scraps of his affection" kind of way. I am not sorry.

dont expect nothing serious from me unless im waxing poetic about Snape or heavily projecting my own Tragic Past onto him tbh, and even then...

i have zero interest in any debates whatsoever. i cannot emphasize this enough, my thoughts are disjointed and nonsensical. The mere thought of having a serious debate about anything is stressful and unpleasant. I mean it as kindly as possible when I say it makes my eyes glaze over.

i am just here to draw Snape and shitpost about my favorite little guy.

i dont care that he's mean.

he shouldve been meaner, actually.

he's better than me and he's probably better than you too, because i wouldve absolutely lost it big boy style.

Art tag: #nagi nyart

Have you ever written a fanfic about Severus Snape? If so, please PLEASE read this post Here

this shouldnt even have to be said but please do not??? take me stuffs and completely re-upload it without credit or permission?? dont do that to anyone, actually? like idk basic courtesy towards artists or w/e. you know better, i know you do.

BUT that said.. using my stuff for your header or profile pic is fine with credit somewhere easily visible, like the profile description, or pinned post!

[takemeorleaveme]

I need to remind myself to just block instead of engaging in an argument with those people holy fk!!! BT SHIPPERS are so delusional they think buddie shippers are more of a problem because we are a bigger ship I hate to break it to you but just because you’re a smaller ship doesn’t mean you being toxic af is ok please grow the fuck up. The way you only see one side of it is so crazy to me and let me REMIND people there are some awful people who take things to far shipping buddie I get that I see it on Twitter but to bring it over to tumblr when we are just trying to vibe it out and have a good time and try and pick arguments with buddie shippers over here because some how we are being held accountable for Twitter users is actually fucking insane to me. Hate to break it to you but Twitter is a toxic fucking trash can of people of all fandoms it’s why I don’t use Twitter. Oliver left because of it I’m not disagreeing but he still obviously loves buddie and the buddie fandom if his interviews and Instagram are things to go off of while you guys are saying we’re delusional he’s in an interview saying he sees what we see.. so like wtf do you want from us really!? I am just gonna continue to enjoy buddie and if I see anything remotely BT or Ot3 related which that is just a whole other thing I refuse to speak on. I’m gonna block cause I stg y’all are just repeating yourselves and I’m losing brain cells. Also I would like to point out I don’t tag T*my if i did it was the anti T*mmy K*nard or it’s always strictly buddie if I have to stop tagging Oliver stark and Evan Buckley until that ship comes to an end I will but I tag appropriately and I can’t help it if they are creeping on our tags looking for a fight.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - John 1:20

i honestly hadn’t considered that John would have access to a bunch of other info, like the FTL planning to leave everyone behind, via the politician he’s puppeting around. he’s practically running the government of this unspecified country at this point. i mean i guess it was good practice for everything he’d later end up doing as Emperor 

‘I’ve got plans for that arm’ um. what. y'know what i really really don’t want to even know

for a guy who keeps saying he didn’t want to nuke anything he’s reallyyy leaning into the nukes every chance he gets

something i find very interesting is that John possibly also has powers besides necromancy that he’s seemingly glossed over a lot? even though they’re very toothy, he can apparently grow roses, and earlier C— talks about him potentially stabilising the North Glacier like that’s something he could definitely do. i wonder if it is actually possible to use thalergy, the life energy stuff, which really never gets mentioned that much tbh, in a similar way to thanergy?

ok how on earth is ‘Cows exhibit mourning behaviour for other cows’ such a goddamn impactful line. like its a really chilling moment of John confirming that he’s willing to start a nuclear war rather than let the ships leave. and it’s also objectively fucking ridiculous

John’s reflection here on his friends doubting him, and how ‘People don’t forgive, not really’ is very interesting considering his actions at the end of HtN, where he asks Augustine if they can have a ‘fresh slate’ in the wake of him killing Mercy. idk really what i’m trying to say here, but i do wonder how much John really meant what he was offering there 

well what with Ianthe, Harrow, and Kiriona, John certainly took M—’s remark about recruiting teenage girls in the next cult to heart

what i’m personally choosing to take away from this chapter is that multitasking is the true villain of the Locked Tomb universe. get some sleep and stop trying to do six things at once kids, or you might just end up nuking the entire earth

‘I can’t Sister. It’s too big’ i’m quite frankly a little disappointed that John didn’t take the opportunity to make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke here

holy crap, the nun shooting herself is certainly a moment. this is really leaning into the eldritch horror of what it would be like to be a human and aware of the Earth literally screaming at you

there’s such a tragic contrast between M— literally begging in her last moments for them not to shoot John vs Mercy being the one to kill him & John killing her so horrifically in return

John’s been essentially levelling up in necromancy as all of these chapters have progressed, but it’s a truly horrifying level of power he displays here. it’s not even the nukes that end up killing a lot of people, because John points out that he was able to just straight up snap the necks of about half of the entire world population

so much about this chapter is just walking the line between absurdist comedy and abject horror, but there is something just so … viscerally disturbing about the mental image of John literally just eating dirt as he consumes the soul of the Earth 

THIS is where the Barbie comparison comes in??? this?! John modelled a body for the remains of the soul of the partially-absorbed soul of the earth after BARBIE?!! talk about taking Barbieheimer to a whole new level

‘I drank them in, and it wasn’t enough’ someone better at comedy than me has probably made a very Hungry Caterpillar joke about this chapter 

‘You and I went full fucking Hungry Caterpillar’ DUDE. ok i stg i made the Hungry Caterpillar annotation immediately before i read like the next page and saw this 

‘I picked you to change [...] I still love you’ well, there’s some form of answer about how John actually got his necromancy in the first place. there’s something so awful about being a human being given powers you just straight up can’t really comprehend by a being so much bigger than you out of love 

the message reads ‘THE/TOWER/HAS/REACTIVAT’. at this point i can’t really think of anything else it could say other than ‘reactivated’. and given this is the chapter where John describes himself as becoming God, there’s something very poetic about the chapter heading being John 1:20, in which John the Baptist confesses that he isn’t the Messiah

[mariana-oconnor]

The Abbey Grange pt 3

I'm fairly confident I've pieced this one together correctly. I'm a little annoyed that it appears that Lady Brackenhall didn't do it herself, but I suppose I'll allow it. I feel confident that she could have done it herself, though, had the narrative allowed her to.

...our door was opened to admit as fine a specimen of manhood as ever passed through it. He was a very tall young man, golden-moustached, blue-eyed, with a skin which had been burned by tropical suns, and a springy step which showed that the huge frame was as active as it was strong.

I stg, every time Watson describes someone in this story he gets hornier. 'As fine a specimen of manhood as ever passed through it.' Put your tongue back in your mouth.

He's looking respectfully.

I've always thought that how horny literally every version of Watson seems to be was just exaggerated, but no. Reading/rereading these as an adult shows me that Watson is exactly that horny on main.

And by 'on main' I mean 'in a widely distributed publication'.

"I know so much already that if you go one inch off the straight I'll blow this police whistle from my window and the affair goes out of my hands for ever.” The sailor thought for a little. Then he struck his leg with his great, sun-burned hand. “I'll chance it,” he cried. “I believe you are a man of your word, and a white man, and I'll tell you the whole story."

First, the captain's kinda racist, I guess.

Second, this is an exact template of what not to do when being interviewed regarding a crime you have committed. Never believe that they know everything. Never agree to tell them anything. Say nothing.

Captain Croker is kind of an idiot.

But then, given the racism, we already knew that.

"So far as I am concerned I regret nothing and I fear nothing, and I would do it all again and be proud of the job."

This is also exactly what you should not say in this situation. He's just determined to be a waking talking exemplar of what not to do, I guess. And he's doing a great job of it.

"...many a time since have I kneeled down in the darkness of the night watch and kissed the deck of that ship because I knew her dear feet had trod it."

That seems unsanitary. Sir, please desist.

Is this why they transferred you to another ship? So people would stop coming across you licking the deck? People walk on that. Sir. Sir, please.

This is yet another example of things you shouldn't do. Just in case you were wondering.

If you want to kiss her feet and you're both into that, go for it. But don't just, like... kiss the dirty deck of a ship where hundreds of people have walked because she walked there. Not only is it unhygienic, it's kind of stalkery.

Yeah.... no.

This guy is giving unhinged vibes.

"One day out in a country lane I met Theresa Wright, her old maid. She told me about her, about him, about everything."

Theresa 100% knew what she was doing here. There is no way she looked at this guy literally kissing the ground Mary walked on and didn't realise that he would be down to murder. Theresa wins the prize here. Excellently executed. Get the dumb stalker to kill the abusive husband. A+ work. She deserves a raise.

"This drunken hound, that he should dare to raise his hand to her whose boots he was not worthy to lick!"

Was not expecting to tick off 'foot fetish' on my Sherlock Holmes bingo card, but there we go.

"Theresa was always my friend, for she loved Mary and hated this villain almost as much as I did. From her I learned the ways of the house."

My dude, my dude. Theresa fucking played you.

"At first she would not open to me, but in her heart I know that now she loves me, and she could not leave me in the frosty night."

That's a really quick turn around from 'it was only friendship for her and I was happy with it' to 'I know she loves me now'.

"Theresa was as cool as ice, and it was her plot as much as mine."

It was all her plan. I bet she made sure the husband was awake at the right time.

"...since she was trying hard to shield him and so showing that she loved him."

Really? Was she though?

"See here, Captain Croker, we'll do this in due form of law. You are the prisoner. Watson, you are a British jury, and I never met a man who was more eminently fitted to represent one."

I guess Watson has enough horniness in him for 12 people.

I mean, I don't have a problem with the guy being allowed to go free, the victim literally burned a puppy alive. Also, I'm pretty sure he was manipulated into being there at the right time. Because there's no way a maid who has been frequently mentioned to be really good at her job, just blurts out her mistress's private business to a guy they met on a boat in the middle of the road. She knew what she was doing. And the husband just happened to come along?

"Come back to this lady in a year, and may her future and yours justify us in the judgment which we have pronounced this night.”

I note that this is as much of a 'happily ever after' as we get for this story. I choose to believe Mary had already moved on in a year and had given up the pretence of being in love with him.

But I am cynical, as we have previously discussed.

[bluedeedeedoop]

👻🦋🦈💘📚🚦🍬 for the writer ask game

yippee thanks for the asks!!!

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Ooooo okay im answering barrissoka for this; During the rebels era, Ahsoka eventually meets with Barriss by accident and they discuss and become happily ever after the end i will end my life if this doesn't happen thank you and goodbye.

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

BARRISS. 100% barriss. also when i was writing tangled the series fanfiction, cassandra was probably my fav too fr

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

this one is tough because i've only ever started writing for like two fandoms- and by the time i write for a ship ive already consumed as much media and fanfiction and humanly possible, therefore absorbing their personalities and attitudes into my brain, making them easy to write :D but i guess out of the two fandoms ive written for, probably rapunzel from tangled the series. dont come at me.

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

well, i personally both are easy to write for me when i really get into it- like when my brain is LOCKED IN. but okay hear me out. i fucking love writing fluff and reading it, but by god angst is somehow easier for me to flow with then writing yk???

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

(im sorry in advance) YES I KNOW MANY!!! of course these shall be barrissoka because yes but i know a lot of other amazing writers too for other fandoms!! i recommend: @kaaragen is an AMAZING author and their work And if we fell together has my heart and soul and god fucking damn it take my money ANYWAYS- The author mylordshesacactus has amazing works!! the author Gabby(kirahsoka) has amazing works too!! the ao3 series Clouded Light and the works Lost Shepherd and Coming home to you (A personal fav!!!!). Also my amazing friend @jedimasterbailey and their fic The Padawans!!! Another one of my favorite authors is @lesbiansandpuns whose work i absolutely love so much i stg especially The moments when we smile and those between has me on my knees not even joking (their other works are literally godsent as well). also!! @425599167 is an amazing author and their take on Barriss Offee as a whole is absolutely wonderful, their work The Erosion of the Spirit had me dissociating for a good week on that fic, literally amazing. I also really adore Let's call it love by my friend @stellanslashgeode!!

🚦What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

ok im a sucker for happily ever after alright??? but i love me a good build up!!!!

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

i've been in a LOT of fandoms but i didn't start writing for any until recent (last couple years) which are Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (the tangled series) (judge me and i will eat you) and Star Wars! for TTS prob my fic Painting can wait (guys this is my old writing please bare with me) and for Star wars probably Love you anyway. (even if you hate tea) because i kiiiiinda wrote that one as self indulgence. again if i hear anything i will eat you.

WOO THAT WAS A LOT.

here is little art snippet of an oc!

[archonadeptus]

A/N: This is my favourite ship ever I'd simply perish for them. This is going to be a series on tumblr, and once its complete I'll be uploading it to ao3! It's my first Alhaitham x Kaveh fic, so please be kind! I hope you guys like it.

Warnings: Ship fic! Alhaitham x Kaveh, if you dont like then please don't read♡ Light description of a breakdown. Angst, no comfort just yet! Pre-relationship. (They're crushing so bad why can't they communicate I stg) Not fully proofread, I'm lazy rn I'm sorry -

Light of Kshahrewar - Part One

Everything had been absolutely draining and much too loud all day. Alhaitham was extremely grateful to have his soundproof earpieces with him at all times, otherwise he was certain he would have snapped at the other sages. How dense does a being have to be? Let alone those who are considered sages of Sumeru, one of the highest positions throughout the nation blessed by Nahdia, the god of wisdom. Why must they argue about such trivial things, something that could be fixed so easily with the slightest bit of communication? The thought of somebody without a decent mind like Alhaitham taking over as the true grand sage truly concerned him. If anything the thought itself was rather daunting. Sumeru, instead of being known as the land of wisdom, would be known as the most idiotic land throughout the seven nations of Teyvat.

Shoving his key into the door, which was comically still tangled up with Kavehs, was twisted and pushed open. Immediately upon entering, books and blueprints were scattered all over the floor. Shutting the door with his foot, he locked it and tossed the two keys into the intricately designed key dish, courtesy of Kaveh. He had designed it himself, despite Alhaitham paying for the materials. Kaveh had begged to design 'decent furniture' for inspiration. Alhaitham finally agreed and let him. He couldn't let his roommate sulk otherwise that would cause problems for Alhaitham himself and he most certainly didn't want that. Thus, he practically shoved the bag of mora in his hands with a silent prayer to the god of wisdom to shut Kaveh up. It did work, and after designing said key dish, Kaveh finally had his inspiration back for a project he dubbed to be 'even better than The Palace of Alcazazaray'. How one would get a giant design like that from a mere key dish truly baffled Alhaitham, but whatever kept Kaveh happy right? Back to the matter at hand, he had decided to slowly make his way through the room following the trail of mess and various ink stains. He hated to admit it to himself, but after the day he had faced full of idiots he was finding himself growing angrier by the minute. He didn't want to deal with his own idiot he kept at home. Usually on any other day, he'd come home, ignore whatever mess was made and remind Kaveh (for the hundredth time) to do his share of the chores. Of course he knew that would fall on deaf ears, but he'd then retreat into his room and read until dinner. Alhaitham didn't think he'd be doing that today.

"Kaveh." His voice spoke as he pushed open the door to the architect's room where the mess seemed to be its greatest. He expected to see Kaveh hunched over his desk as per usual, in a world of his own whilst he would mumble incoherent things to himself and scribble on a half finished design. This time though, he saw Kaveh in the middle of his floor with a broken pencil before him and a ripped up piece of paper.

"If you're here to nag then I'm not in the mood."

'Neither am I.' Alhaitham thought, deciphering the rather sorry sight before him.

"I wouldn't have to nag if you kept things tidy and actually did your share of the chores." Kaveh had his head buried in his knees, his hand gripping onto his arm to shield his face and cushion his head.

"I just said that I'm not in the mood, Alhaitham." His eyes were fixed onto the ripped up paper and his legs seemed to drag him to it. Moving to pick it up, he caught a glimpse of a very detailed set of sketches before they were ripped from his hands. "Don't touch that!" Alhaitham was completely used to Kaveh shouting at him, it brought him great amusement so he'd jab at the architect to get him to yell more. It was a wonderful stress reliever and he couldn't help but adore Kavehs dramatics. However, this time felt different. It didn't feel light hearted, there seemed to be real weight behind his words - not that there wasn't usually but this felt a little more serious. You could slice a knife through the sudden wave of silence.

"Why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself when you could be working on that design you've tried to destroy?" It was beautiful. He paused as Kavehs sharp crimson gaze met his own, they were glassy. He needs to stop talking, he should give Kaveh some space. "So when you complain that you have no ideas, it's actually that you destroy them instead? Is it that you don't want to make a living for yourself for once?" Why is he still talking? Alhaitham knows that it's not the time to lecture him, but some horrid part of his anger seems to enjoy blowing off steam like this.

"Stop. Just... Just get out!" Kaveh threw the broken pencil at Alhaitham, but he just moved away and glared.

"That's rich, get out of the room I pay for? Surely you remember you didn't pay your half of the rent this month either." Kaveh hated the way Alhaithams gaze remained so calm, even as fat glistening tears made their way down Kavehs cheeks.

"If you don't want me here anymore then just say that! I'm sick of you dancing around things like they mean nothing to you!" … 'Like I mean nothing to you.' Kaveh wishes he added on that bit, but he didn't want to know the truth. He doesn't think he can face Alhaitham saying that he hates him.

"Fine, if that's what keeps you happy. I'm sick of the mess, I'm tired of coming home to your yelling. You're just as bad as the sages I dealt with today."

'Ah,' Kaveh thinks, 'he's had a bad day too then.' Maybe Sumeru was out to get them.

"Oh really? That's a miracle, the mighty 'Acting Grand Sage' of Sumeru who's known to be completely emotionally unavailable, is getting irritated by his colleagues!" Alhaitham narrowed his eyes. "It's not my fault I've got so much work to do before I even think about getting paid to meet your absolutely ridiculous rent deadlines!" The scribe simply rolled his eyes, ignoring the way more tears fell from his crimson eyes. Kaveh may be a dramatic person with rapidly fluctuating moods, but he hadn't ever seen him cry before. This was… new territory. One which both Alhaitham and Kaveh didn't seem too sure about stepping into.

"Ridiculous deadlines? Kaveh, it's the basics. They're bills, I don't control these deadlines. Don't be so dense." Alhaitham simply crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down at Kaveh who was still curled up on the floor. Did the architect always look so vulnerable and small like this? Why's he crying? Alhaitham's eyes trailed around the room, but he couldn't piece it together just yet. It was too messy. "Usually people can pay them on time, unlike you." He paused for a moment, hearing Kaveh sniffles. "Aren't you going to tidy this all up?" I need to see what's wrong, I can't figure it out like this. You're worrying me.

"I'll get to it! Just leave!" Kaveh yelled, hair scrunched up in his hands with his eyes shut tightly. Those tears were falling so much quicker now, Alhaitham couldn't handle it. How can he make it stop?

"Leave yourself, you're clearly not bothered." Kaveh's eyes grew wide, glossy and doe-like as he met the scribe's hardened gaze.

"Seriously? You're kicking me out right now? This is ridiculous! Every single time you swoop to a new low, Alhaitham!" He simply turned and began to leave the room only to return and throw Kaveh's individual key toward him.

"Leave." With that, Alhaitham dodged the mess as he made way for his room quicker than he'd like to admit. Kaveh's crying was soon muffled once again as he activated his earpieces. The sound was too much… Too heartbreaking. By morning, things would be like they never happened. They'd eat breakfast, nag at each other, and continue their work like usual - it was their routine. That didn't happen this time.

Upon waking, the morning sun filtered through the wider windows. Kaveh designed those. He had told him he needed more sunlight, especially if he were to read his books all the time. He didn't want Alhaitham to damage and strain his eyes, the architect said it would cause trouble for him else and he didn't want to deal with it. Thus the large pretty window in his room allowed sunlight to bathe him every morning, and the moonlight to shine upon the book's words every night. Opening his eyes fully, he sat up as the warm blanket fell from his body. It was… strangely quiet. Peaceful even. Alhaitham wondered when that would be broken by a certain roommate of his. Standing up, he kept on his nightwear for the time being for breakfast and stepped out into the hall. It's clean. Why was it clean? He was certain that there were ink stains and blueprints all over the floor… Did Kaveh truly take what Alhaitham said to heart? Hm, it was about time he supposed. Finally, a helpful roommate. However, upon entering the kitchen, Kaveh was nowhere in sight. Nevermind, maybe he was sleeping in today after all of this apparent cleaning last night. The scribe didn't mind, especially if the chores were done which, by some miracle, were done. Preparing himself breakfast wasn't exactly unusual, so he made himself something easy though the scent didn't exactly make things feel the same. It didn't taste as good as when a certain architect made it either. Kaveh's dishes were rather extravagant, Alhaithams were bland. After shoving the food into his mouth and swallowing, he stood and placed the bowl and cutlery by the sink. As an apology for not making breakfast today, Kaveh could wash up. Walking back out, he passed his room. It was silent and there were no loud and irritating snores that he usually heard at night that usually unfortunately sent him to sleep, there was nothing. Maybe he should check on him? Knocking lightly, the door seemed to push open. Why is it empty? Where's the mess?

"Kaveh?" Pushing the door fully open, he stepped in. Where was the colour? Where was his Light of Kshahrewar? Where is Kaveh? He… Truly moved out? "Kaveh… You fool." He took a deep breath in, Kavehs scent of pardisarahs filling his lungs. It was overwhelmingly comforting. "You didn't have to go." I didn't want you to go. He'd bring him back, he'd go out, find him drunk out of his mind somewhere and bring him back. It would go back to normal, the way it's always been - the way it should be. "Kaveh. Wait for me." He immediately left the empty room and returned to his own, getting his usual clothes on after having what felt like the quickest shower of his life. Something which of course Kaveh would scold him for… A scolding he strangely missed. Putting on his soundproof earpieces, he grabbed his key and opened the door once again. "Don't be too far, my Light of Kshahrewar."

[engagemythrusters]

here we FUCKING go… 🙃 I just know it’s gonna kill me

Oh my goodness commandos! Aah! I love commandos :D

OH GOD WHAT NO CLONES WHY ARE THEY…

Big upset whh are clones being held prisoner :(((

Echo and Re—Y E A H

GREGOR MY BOY

Ooh who are the other guys??

Imperial ships look so janky I stg

Echo 🥰 I missed you

Hehe gregor

H O W Z E R?!

Ah I hadn’t seen his cheek I didn’t know it was him! I just thought it was another with a similar haircut!

Nemec that’s a fun name I love

Fireball is also fun! He does indeed look like he’s been hit with a fireball hehe

Hey be careful with the commando tho :(

Gregor has plot armour gregor has plot armour gregor has plot armour (convincing myself he’ll be okay and the rest of them too)

HFNFNDKDJDJD CROSSHAUR

TWO IN ONE WE GET CROSSHAIR AND ECHO IN ONE EP

BLESSED

(I say through the tears)

… clean slate?

Oh no… reconditioning?

I am no longer feeling blessed

NK DONT HURT HIM

I am dead. Ceased to exist. I’d rather that than watch this hurt

LOST FIVE OF HIS MEN?’ oh :’(( poor clones

ECHO REYNITE WITH TECH AND BAD BATCH?!

Crosshair baby you’re drugged I don’t think you can do this…

He… switched to stun…

I don’t know what that means but he never stuns so… it’s something…

STOP HURTINF HIM :(((

And immediately to paradise island wow okay I’m in pain it’s fine tho cause look at how pretty etc etc

ECHO REJOINS

Sharky!

Aw he’s so happy… this kills me.

OMEGA LEARNS TO DRIVE

she’s ducking nuts I love her so so much

Tech you nerd

Wow this is a vast change from what I was feeling two minutes ago. Whiplash city in this ep. Good god.

SHES SO HAPPY

So am I 😭

OMEGA

OMEGA SWEETIE

You’re gonna be the death of tech 😂

Big hug 🥰

“It hasn’t been that long” IT HAS FOR ME

Ew. Tarkin. Die.

Please please go save Crosshair. Please

OH THEH KNOW NOW

GO. GET. HIM.

Hunter stop. Hunter please. He needs help.

Crosshair haters gonna have a problem after this. Of course they’ll still find something bc people will do anything to hate a normal ass character.

Oh god… Crosshair… :(

THATS IT?!

NO MORE??!

No. No I need more.

I need to know if they get him. I need him safe…

Overall thoughts: (assorted weeping)

[spookyclooky]

I posted 804 times in 2022

47 posts created (6%)

757 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@midnight-shy

@participlepotato

@braveincafleet

@sophiathebanished

I tagged 579 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 126 posts

#steve harrington - 115 posts

#eddie munson - 83 posts

#joe keery - 58 posts

#steddie - 57 posts

#charlie cox - 34 posts

#marvel - 29 posts

#daredevil - 27 posts

#stranger things 4 - 26 posts

#matt murdock - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#the closest thing i have to this is when i was 9 and i would look at my jonas brothers poster and think psshh i can’t be a boy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I have heard you have started to watch daredevil, so might I introduce to you: Spideydevil! (Matt Murdock x Peter Parker) If your love for Andrew's Peter and Matt wasn't enough they are shipped and as a (onlinely) proud shipper of spideydevil I need you to know about this amazing ship immediately. I would suggest giving it a try. Other nicknames for this ship are spiderdevil and mattpeter. So please if you love them both check it out!!!

Look at these idiots are they not perfect for eachother!!!

omg okay so I was not aware of this ship and I’m now absolutely in love with it!! I’ve been a spideypool shipper (with ryan reynolds DP and andrew’s spidey and my own versions of the two since around 2011/2012) but this??? this is absolute gold and I appreciate being made aware of it. excuse me while I delve down this hole now, right in the middle of writing my multi-chapter spideypool fic lmao

90 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#4

okay so I’m reading this Daredevil comic, right? and I just

it’s them, those are the gays right there, officer

93 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#3

I've seen a lot of like, discourse in the Stranger Things fandom and I don't like it. There's a cool video of Eddie cosplayers just like, having fun at a con goinng around and it's spawned some mouth breathers that claim to like the show spreading a lot of hate because of it. Saying things like "Eddie would hate you guys" and "You're ruining this fandom/Eddie" which just makes me wonder, like are y'all watching the same show?? I feel like you guys have some weird gatekeeper version of Stranger Things I want no part of.

Stranger Things has always been for self proclaimed weirdos like Eddie and pretty much anyone outside of the preconceived societal norms. Eddie's literally called Eddie 'The Freak' Munson, and in all honesty, people who are saying shit like this would probably have been friends with Jason and Angela, not him. He'd be taking in the people you bully and telling you to fuck off, quite honestly. If you're gonna keep spreading this bullshit, take it somewhere else?? Or keep it to yourself, cause haven't you heard if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all? If this is somehow controversial, I don't give a shit. I honestly don't care what y'all think of me because I know I'm right. If you still don't believe me, some trans dude on the internet, take a look at what David Harbour himself said a few years ago about the show.

Hopper himself would punch you assholes in the face, so if you have a problem with Stranger Things fans literally just enjoying themselves, you can take it up with him.

Like y'all wouldn't have survived in 2010s tumblr and it shows. You think this shit is "too much" and "ruining the fandom"? Ask literally anyone about the "fandom war of 2012" or "Mishapocalypse", like you clearly have never been in a fandom before and it should fucking stay that way.

Sorry for the long post, I'm fucking livid about this.

Keep your gatekeeping bullshit to yourself

94 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#2

sorry not sorry, this panel just screams “give me my fucking boyfriend back i stg”

everything from the stance to the words

129 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

231 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sadandyetverysexy]

This is PHENOMENAL

I personally revile the BatmanxJoker ship but god. DAMN. The way batman just completely avoids even permanently injuring him and just refuses to put him down in ANY way permanently when he has the power and money to do so really makes it seem like the mf is just too in love to kill this guy. Like that’s the level of “I can’t kill you” that makes a mf seem in love, cus it’s not even a “I can’t kill you” it’s a “I can’t let you die” bruh. Once you start ACTIVELY GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO KEEP THIS GUY ALIVE, you are being a Weird Mf. He’s not just not-killing Joker, he is regularly protecting the man. That’s gay, homie.

Batman doesn’t even have to do anything! Bruce Wayne could 100% bribe some mfs to put Joker in a cement prison at the bottom of the ocean with the bare necessities to live out the rest of this miserable life there. He could let another Justice League member do it, some of them have killed. Dude could really just stop saving the guy. He isn’t your boyfriend, let the guy perish. I stg it looks like if Batman had to choose between saving a friend or saving the joker that mf would choose the Joker. (We all remember that scene with Jason, right? Not THE scene, but that other one?)

He’s not your hubby, he’s not your bae, you have no reason to keep protecting this heinous mf. I don’t think Batman is in love with the joker, and I hate that ship, but damn does he act like it in some ways.

prompt: "murder is good actually" au

danny moves to gotham and is actually shocked by how many ghosts were born there due to violent deaths, still lingering and waiting for their murderers to be put down for good. he starts a "can we have a little murder? as a treat?" campaign to convince batman that nobody in the city would think less of him if he let the joker die. it gets popular real fast

[reddeadreference]

Blog Update: (kinda) Travel Blog Style

Reminder: Various polls will be closing within the next 24 hours. (see pinned post for links)

Drafts: 61

Queue: 8 (7 POI posts, 1 face angle post)

---

So I was getting the remaining POI entries I need between the two and I have Arthur go to the Hermit Woman... you either have to run off her dogs or kill them. ... I had to kill them. I just survived a bear attack I'm not dying to three dogs.

Arthur hogties the woman, writes in his journal, and as I have him get on his horse to leave he shouts back,

"You take care now!"

Arthur please...

Speaking of bear attacks I'm VERY curious to know if the camp will react in ANY way to Arthur coming back all scratched up so I'm hoping the wounds don't fade til I ride all the way back... to Clemen's Point... from North Big Valley... The blood faded from his coat but the scratch marks are still there.

Had the rude racer come up to us and ask to race down to Owanjila. Said no. He called us a coward and he's very lucky we have places to be.

Autopilot... Crashed into the tree those damn O'Driscoll's cut down to make Arthur and Micah crash that wagon. Why does no one ever fix that?

Just as we reach near Diablo Ridge (near the edge of West Elizabeth) we have to help a guy with a bear trap and I see our bear scars finally fade away from our back... now we only have the face scar... gotta hurry if I wanna show camp.

Just as I see camp in the distance... face scar is gone. Mission Failure.

...

Walking towards where Micah's at the fire, bear pelt over my shoulder.

Me: Micah I fought a bear and won, look, look!

Micah makes some noise, laughs, "got ya there."

Arthur: Just name the place my friend. Just name the place.

Dude... we fought a BEAR and won. Think we're scared of you???

...

Oh to be as happy as Uncle looks playing the banjo.

...

See's Micah bothering Abigail, beelines for them.

He walks away says "Ladies" to Karen, Tilly, and Grimshaw.

Karen: *happily* Hello!

Me: WTF Karen?!

...

Proceeds to follow him around camp antagonizing him.

He brags about putting money in the box (after fucking teleporting I stg he was behind me)

Arthur: What do you want? A medal?

$25 hm? weeeell.... lemme just put in... $100.

...

Scene comes up where Karen is complaining about Grimshaw, Grimshaw shows up.. with a broom.

The fuck are you out here sweeping, Susan?!

Arthur: *to Karen* My lady.

Karen: Leave it.

What did I do?!

...

As we're leaving camp to head to the Braithwaite place to get a photo of their secret I see Hosea walking away into the woods... with a plate. Where the fuck did he get a PLATE? I thought we only had bowls?!

Then we see him kicking Sean awake (who's supposed to be on guard) and I realize it's for a scene... but then I go over and look via photo mode... plate is gone.

..

Rowing over to the manor and there's a couple sitting on the beach. cute.

I think that's all the things I need for POIs (besides the Grey's secret because for some reason whenever I go to get that entry the paper is gone and neither wrote anything down for it.) so those should be all up within a week.

While I'm out here might as well get some photos for those little islands.

Is there a reason that the music on these fucking things is so fucking creepy at night????

...

If I hit a snake with my boat... it'll be fine right??? . . . It hissed and disappeared but there's no X on the map... but it did a lil flash on the screen... Q-Q I'm sorry Snek.

On the bright side my heath is going up from all this paddling.

got to the sunken/wrecked ship. Never noticed an eagle can spawn at the top of the mast.

So.. just like in real life.. shooting a hole in your boat is a bad idea. Not sure what I thought would happen. In hindsight I should've done this closer to the camp and not... ya know, on the island across from it. That being said if you're ever stuck on one of those islands just set up a camp and poof magically you're back on the main land.

...

Rolled around in the mud to see if I could get Grimshaw to make me wash... she comes up to me... and says they were worried about me Q-Q I didn't think I was gone so long. I just went around the islands for about a day and a half.

Went fishing off the dock

"You sir, are a fish." Arthur is too precious for this world...

[spacetime-storytime]

woah thank u for the tag rogue!!<3 tagging @bretongirlwrites

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

8! theyre nearly all from de artfest in 2020

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

14,100

3. what fandoms do you write for?

play it by ear atm, detroit evolution before that

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

basically all of them lol cause i havent published much. my top fic is DEArtfest Day 6: Amnesia, honestly one of my lesser favourites but i think it's got so many hits cause it's in the reed900 tag.

5. do you respond to comments?

yee i try to respond to all comments<3

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Time Travel is probably the angstiest one but i dont think ive ever written something with an unhappy ending lol or have planned any of my unfinished fics to be angsty. i like happy endings

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

im writing something atm and i really love how it ends, i hope i manage to finish it

8. do you get hate on your fics?

i think the only time i got hate on anything ever was a comment on a sims gallery upload that was just "ew" lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nah

10. do you write crossovers?

i love crossovers with my whole heart when i first started writing back on fanfiction.net EVERYTHING i wrote was a crossover. if you are my new favourite character you are meeting the doctor from doctor who and you WILL enjoy it.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nah

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes me and my sister like to co-write silly fics filled with inside jokes that only we get but are so funny. very fun time

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

thats so hard to answer. wait thats a lie. i do have a favourite and its a ship from my dnd game that only me and 6 other people know about. if you guys only knew the lore. the Themes. the Motifs. the Character Development!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SO MANY omg. my writing life is just wips that i will never finish. i have a bbc atlantis fic where they go to the underground with orpheus to bring back medusa and a portal fic where chell and doug escape aperture and i want to tell you the twist so bad but maybe one day i will finish it still. and then theres the detroit evolution fic where ada's abandoned android body wakes up and continues the murders. i would be unstoppable if i could actually finish things i stg

16. what are your writing strengths?

i really like writing comedy, it seems like i can make people laugh which i am proud of

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

finishing things ._. also i always struggle with the flow of a piece of writing, it always reads a little choppy and i envy those people who can write something that makes you forget youre reading and not just transmitting a flow of consciousness direct from the page

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

idk, dont really have an opinion

19. first fandom you wrote for?

the first thing i ever published was a crossover between skulduggery pleasant and city of bones. i'm still proud of it, i did well for capturing the vibes for a 13-year-old lol

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

atm its got to be Business Meeting, i'm really glad people enjoyed that one

20 questions for 20 writers !!

thank u to @localdisasterisk for tagging me in this! i honestly do not know how many writers i follow so um. ill tag my pibe fic besties @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @angelwiththeblue-box @fatestitcherr @incorrect-play-it-by-ear and the rest of u can fight amongst yourselves

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

48. i don’t know if its more concerning that almost half of them are from the past five months or that almost half are play it by ear. its the same almost half but still

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

143,389. woof

3. what fandoms do you write for?

obviously play it by ear. everyone knows that. also d20 occasionally and project sekai. unfortunately

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

toya and mizuki’s step by step guide to romancing a shinonome — i will be so real with you guys i specifically crafted this one to be popular. and then i fell in love with it along the way. but it did start as a science experiment

let me take you with me (just like this) — WHY. this is my second pjsekai fic and my fourth fic ever posted. it’s not at all reflective of my current style. help

kiss it better — yeah. same issue as the other one. this one’s better though lmao

say you miss me (say you want to kiss me) — honestly? just impressed a honakana fic made it up this high. love my girlies

the moon is crumbling (but that’s okay) — yeah everyone pretend to be surprised the ruikasa fic got this high up. it was a new concept for me, though, so i’m pretty proud of that

5. do you respond to comments?

i used to, but not really anymore unfortunately. to be fair, i will point you all to the fact that most of my recent fics are pibe, and then to the discord where we all scream about them together

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t usually. write sad endings. bc i don’t like them. okay that’s not true i just usually don’t. i guess the moon is crumbling?? if i had to choose?? it’s more bittersweet than anything, but people did say they cried, so…

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99.9% of my fics are getting together fics. it’s just the same ending a million different ways. you tell me

8. do you get hate on your fics?

not publicly!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i would simply be too powerful if i could. this is for your safety actually

10. do you write crossovers?

in the sense of characters across universes/media interacting? no. in the sense of “i am going to put my blorbos in every single other setting i slightly enjoy”? absolutely. putting them under a microscope. researching and recording how they react to their surroundings

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i simply do not think there is a demand for my fics in other languages. not in like a depressing way, it’s just that i’m writing for like five people including myself, so. yknow

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if someone wanted to… 👀

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ve never written for them (yet, at least), but by sheer volume and span of time i have to say souyo persona4. my silly boys. i’ve never scoured the entire tag for a ship multiple times on ao3 like i have for them. i have so many thoughts about them that have never seen the light of day but they exist!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares awkwardly at feed your anger like fire… i’ve tried!! but it turns out that sometimes you get stuck on clothing designs and stop writing and then lose passion for the project and then stop updating for three years because you were too ambitious and also you hate your old writing style. not that i would know anything about that

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m really good at dialogue, or at least banter. unfortunately this makes me very judgmental but that’s not important. also i can create a vibe well i’ve been told

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

in general? i SUCK at character description, or at least knowing where and when to place it. i also always worry about characterization and if my characters sound too similar

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i used to read so many fics that centered around using another language (shoutout bmc fandom when i was. in that. a dark period of my life, but alas) and honestly if it’s done well i think it’s cool!! i’m not going to get into the intricacies of bilingualism on account of being an english only speaker but it is rad to me

19. first fandom you wrote for?

wrote for? probably warriors. yes the cats. i had a whole fanfic for my oc. shoutout to… honestly i don’t remember her name but she was a real one! wrote for and posted is another story, by which i mean i don’t remember At All. probably bandori tbh, bc i don’t remember if i posted fanfic on my wattpad

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

either the venn diagram of curses and crushes (which is still my favorite fic title ever) or soaking in the glory. one of them is a 3k word expedition into the play it by ear canon space and the other is a 7k word fever dream i went into a fugue state to write in two days. honorable mention to the like the sweetest cup of chai series which i hold so close to my heart. silliest besties of all time

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

as an ulqui stan i hate when people point to that one little side comic as proof that he was in love with orihime. all of you must die by my blade for so completely missing the point of that comic.

[swaps55]

Commission from @bbegrill, and I love it. You can pry my “Kaidan is a god-tier poker player” headcanon out of my cold, dead fingers. :D

From x

Apparently, the original crew of the Normandy had a thing for poker.

It hadn’t come up until Alenko showed up at the docks not even 24 hours after nearly shooting Shepard in the head, and somehow became part of the crew again. James didn’t really get how that worked, but Joker had just shaken his head and muttered something about third time being the charm.

Whatever history those two carry around, apparently poker is part of the package. As soon as Kaidan is on board, weekly poker games are practically part of the duty roster. That’s fine. James likes poker.

At least until Dr. Chakwas stops him on the crew deck coming out of the head, like she’s been waiting for him.

“You’re a good solider, Lt. Vega and after the heroics you pulled on Tuchanka I feel it is only fair that I make a good faith effort to prepare you for what you’re up against tonight.”

“Prepare me? For what?”

Her expression becomes more severe. “A poker game with Kaidan Alenko.”

James relaxes. This is much better than the six nightmare scenarios that just showed up in his mind, all of which included thresher maws. “Doc, it’s a poker game. I’ve handled reapers CQC. I think I’ll be fine.”

She leans her shoulder into the doorframe, crossing her arms in a way that reminds him of his sixth grade math teacher. “You’re about to go into the lion’s den, James Vega, and the Major is going to play you for one hell of a sucker.”

~

Him? Really? James eyes the biotic Spectre, with the easygoing smile that reminds him of Cortez if he’d lighten up every once in a while. The kind of guy who’d stop to rescue a kitten in a tree, volunteer to build houses for the homeless, give you the shirt off his back…this is the guy Chakwas thought it was so important to warn him about?

Alenko smiles affably as he shuffles a deck of cards. James looks for something hidden in it, something nefarious, but only sees a nice guy shuffling some cards. He’s seen good poker faces before, but this isn’t a poker face. This is just…a face.

“Glad you could make it, Lieutenant.”

Nothing off in the voice either. The doc is out of her mind.

Alenko deals the first hand, flicking the cards out with slick precision. Doesn’t mean anything.

It doesn’t mean anything, right? Chakwas probably just had a bad night some time ago and has blown it out of proportion in her memory.

It won’t be that bad.

~

It’s that bad.

Who the fuck taught Alenko to play poker, and why the hell does anyone on this ship ever let him near a deck of cards? James hasn’t won a single hand and is pretty sure that he’s lost about a week’s pay, assuming they’re still going to get paid considering how fucked supply and communication lines are these days.

He’s got to be counting cards. Somehow the biotic bastard knows exactly what everyone has as soon as the last card is dealt. To make it worse, Garrus is holding his own. He probably uses his visor to cheat.

James pours another shot of tequila. Probably time to back off, but right now the poker game hurts more than the booze. Besides, Chakwas has matched him shot for shot and only seems a little worn around the edges, evidenced only by a strand of silver hair that keeps stubbornly pulling loose from the other well-behaved ones.

“How’re you doing, Vega?” Joker asks, with genuine amusement in his voice that makes James hate him just a little.

“Well, let’s put it this way,” he says with a frustrated sigh. “Since getting on this ship I’ve had a drink with the turian Primarch, shot the shit with Archangel, had coffee with the Shadow Broker, given a ship tour to one of the most decorated STG officers in history, run down a thresher maw with the leader of the krogan people and helped foil a plot to take over the Citadel.  I thought getting my ass this thoroughly handed to me at a game of poker was about as unlikely as any of those things. So.”

Alenko smiles that quiet smile that James will never, ever again think is a nice guy smile.