#you guys really need to take advantage of the potential the ship has AND STAY AWAY FROM STEREOTYPES

[shackledaces]

alrighty I’m gonna write this strictly for myself (and whoever needs to hear it): I love stuilly fics, but you guys gotta remember that these homosexual idiots are 17-18 years old. they aren’t mastermind adults that fooled the whole world with their murders. sure, billy and stu might be sick in the head, but they do it together. it’s not one-sided psycho bill; stu even said it himself (“We prefer the term “psychotic.””). there is no hierarchy with them; they are equals.

stu made the plans; billy followed him. billy had the motive; stu followed him with it.

THEY. ARE. BOTH. CRAZY.

they probably bickered with each other off-screen; probably snickered and joked about their kills and teased each other about any mistake the other made while they were chasing their victims. THEY BICKER, ALRIGHT? (“I didn’t kill anybody.” / “Nobody said you did.” / “Thanks, buddy.”)

they are idiots in love, and they are teenagers. they are sarcastic and playful with each other. they laugh and have fun together; they love to kill, and sure, they could hold their own, but it’s just so much better when they’re with each other.

(also, as a side note, billy is not an emotionless/cold-hearted bastard. he’s a complete sarcastic fucking brat that talks back and runs on the thrill of murder. take that piece of information as you will.)

[ahoppingmagician]

Stolitz Rant

Now before I shit on the ship and Stolas' whole character, I have to give Spindle Horse some praise. Seeing Blitzo go off on Stolas was like eating your gran's food, comforting, something that you waited for, and fulfilling. Blitzo pleading like a desperate animal for the book was actually very potent, I won't get too much into my life but I have done things similar for people in my past to stay even though it was a dysfunction mess.

Alright that's my little hat's off to you Viv. Now let's get to my problem with this ship.

Unhealthy in a Bad Way

It's unhealthy. Now that inherently isn't the bad thing, now before you judge me too hard, I'll explain. If a pairing is presented as toxic that's not my issue but rather how it is handled. Stolitz isn't really presented by the show's narrative to be a horrible mess that should of died as soon as the two grew apart in their adult life. Instead it is presented like a us verses them. Romeo and Juliet type of romance. Now it doesn't really work that way because of everything that one side has done.

Stolas Sucks

I hate this fucking rich bird man, he was such good villian potential, until someone named Vivziepop got to attached to him, and tried to change the story for him to be a hopeless romantic who has a tragic home life, a damsel in distress who needs his knight in shiny armor to save him, instead of what he is a creepy rich man taking advantage of someone, and is definitely just seeing Blitzo as a toy in every since of the word.

If Stolas wants Blitzo to fuck him then it's fine because HE wants it. If HE decided that his daughter needs to be around someone who has ruined her family then she will because Stolas wants it, not even bothering to ask the man in question if he's comfortable with that arrangement. Blitzo doesn't like how he treats him, doesn't matter because Stolas likes it. HE doesn't want Blitzo to have the book anymore and Blitzo will just blindly accept it because that's what Stolas wants. This man with a child acts like a whiny little baby because the man who he has harassed, stalked, coerced into having sex with him, and treats like some kind of exotic pet, doesn't trust him when he gives him the stupid crystals because it goes against want HE wants to happen.

All of that was to point out how self serving this dumbass is.If Stolas wants it to go that way it just will because he deserves it after having an abusive wife. Now abuse is a serious subject, but it's clear as day that Stella was made to be abusive to make Stolas seem understandable. Also doesn't help that the story neglects to inform you that Stolas and Stella had Octavia at 19 and were both victims of the higher class by being forced into this marriage at like 16.

My Big Problem

Now I'll get into the whole contract to sex thing and how morally backrupt he is. This rich man knew how vital that book was for his obsession's business, to the point that he was literally stealing it from him on his birthday. Now like a reasonable man he kicked him out and never made any terrible decision ever, sadly no he fucked him and really liked it. So sometime later the bird man was in his bathtub and called his side piece, while Blitzo is in obvious distress he gives him an offer and won't shut up till he verbally agrees, which the imp did. Now what part of this is romantic? Or even sexy in a taboo way. Like what in the Wattpad is this arrangement. This feels like a ripoff of a book that just shows a toxic relationship like it's suppose to be good, Fifty Shades of Gray. A similar dynamic to our two men here weirdly enough. Which originally was a fanfiction. Now my dear reader like I said a toxic relationship in media isn't inherently bad, but if it is written badly then we have a problem. Why? you may ask me. Simple early teens watch this show, edgy kids watch this show. I personally think kids are fucking radical little guys, but they are also easily influenced. A show that paints this unhealthy relationship as good and worth all the fighting, that it is worth all the heartbreak and trauma because one day it might get better, key word might. For some viewers maybe it was their first gay relationship they were exposed to. This could shift the way they look at LGBT+ relationships as more taboo or sexy instead of it being just another relationship.

Now I'll wrap this rant up, next will be M&M relationship a d how I think it has some accidental toxic underlining, hopefully I can also get my solutions to this and M&M out today aswell.

As always you look fabulous, I'll eat your least favourite organ if you don't say something nice to yourself today. If your having a not getting out of bed day, it's alright the world is scary and you can try again tomorrow.

[thewillofdeez]

The Warlord and the Revolutionary: A Dracule Mihawk/OC Romance - Chapter 6: Over the Transponder Snail

Summary: Mihawk has never been big on surprises, but when Zoro and Perona showed up on Kuraigana, Mihawk took it in stride. He learned how to adjust and even slowly began to enjoy their company. Just under a year later, another surprise showed up on his island - his ex-girlfriend, on the verge of death. The one he hasn't seen in fifteen years. And he might still love her.

Slice of life goth family cuteness headcanons mixed with OC romance.

Chapter 6 word count: 2263

The storm passed through the island overnight, leaving the next day to be unseasonably warm and sunny. As with anywhere on the Grand Line, the weather on Kuraigana carried a certain amount of chaos.

After breakfast, Olivia took advantage of the warmth to make her way to her ship, wanting to retrieve her transponder snail and a few extra items for her long stay. She couldn’t believe it had only been a few days since she arrived on the island. It had been quite the whirlwind. Taking in the sight of her small ship, the damage wasn’t as bad as it could have been given her situation - it was afloat, at least, if a little worse for wear. She’d certainly need help getting back out to sea, but there didn’t seem to be anything that couldn’t be fixed up with the help of a few strapping men and some planks of wood.

She climbed the ladder and walked across the deck and into the cabin, where a familiar sound greeted her.

Mmmm badabadabada. Mmmm badabadabada.

Running towards the transponder snail, which had fallen on its side, the poor thing, Olivia brought it back upright, grabbing the receiver. Cuh-lick.

“Hello?” she said into the receiver.

“Olivia? Is that you??”

“Hey, Koala.”

A squeal came through the receiver, causing Olivia to hold it farther away from her head. “SABO! IT’S OLIVIA! SHE’S ALIVE!”

The sound of running footsteps came through the snail. “Olivia!” Sabo’s voice came through. “Holy hell, Liv, we were all so worried!”

“I know, guys, I’m so sorry,” Olivia replied. “I have so much to tell you.” Olivia launched into the story for the two younger Revolutionaries, starting with her arrival on the winter island which housed the abandoned government lab, her attempt at completing the mission, the eventual realization that she’d have to bail as the virus took hold of her, and sailing through a storm to reach her current location. “And Koala, you’ll never guess who lives on the island where I wound up.”

“Who?” she asked.

“My ex-boyfriend.”

“You’re on MIHAWK’S island?” Koala cried.

Sabo chimed in. “I feel like I’m missing something here.”

“You idiot,” Koala said, “Olivia and Mihawk were together years ago. And she’s there. With him. It must be fate!” The snail took on Koala’s starry-eyed look. Olivia had told the younger woman about her and Mihawk some time ago, knowing she was a sucker for a good love story, a trait the two of them shared.

“Ohhhh. Yeah, okay.” Sabo didn’t quite get women or romance just yet, something Koala was unfortunately reminded of every single day.

From there, Olivia told them about her recovery over the last few days and when she expected to be cleared to return to sea. “I know a month is a long time, but that’s what the doctor ordered.”

“Don’t worry about it, Liv,” said Sabo, “Take all the time you need, we’ll handle the mission, and I’ll fill Dragon in on the situation. Just take care of yourself, okay?”

“Yes, Liv,” added Koala, “Make sure to let Mihawk take really good care of you.”

“Koala!” Olivia said. “He’s still a Warlord. You know, the thing that caused us to break up in the first place?”

“Well, he is now, but maybe not for long.”

“What do you mean?”

Sabo took over. “There have been some rumors going around lately about the next Reverie…”

The three of them continued catching up. Olivia was shocked to learn that there was the potential for a vote to disband the Warlords system coming up the next time fifty of the world’s leaders met at Mariejois. While information shared amongst Revolutionaries was usually to remain hush hush, she knew she would have to tell Mihawk at some point. This did affect his life, after all, and she cared about him too much to let him be blindsided. And anyway, it was just a rumor, who knew if it would actually happen? The Reverie was still a long way away.

“Keep in touch, guys, and be safe out there,” Olivia said.

“We will, Liv. We’ll call if we need anything. Bye!”

They hung up, and Olivia began gathering a few extra items from her room to take back to the castle: some extra clothes, her transponder snail, and a book she had been reading. She then made her way to a small jewelry box on the dresser and opened it, looking for one item in particular.

Ahh, there it is, she thought. Lifting the bracelet from the box, she admired it as the sun entering through the window glinted off the white gold band and made the adorning amethysts sparkle. Olivia placed it on her wrist, adjusting the cuff to fit. She held out her hand and admired the way it rested on her skin. It was a fancy piece, sure, but not overly gaudy. Mihawk had given her the bracelet in the early days of their relationship, and until they broke up she had worn it every single day. She missed the feeling of its weight on her wrist…but she wasn’t quite ready to show Mihawk that she still had it just yet, at least not until she knew what she was going to do about the wealth of feelings coursing through her body. Removing the bracelet, Olivia tucked it into her bag and exited the cabin, crossing the deck. She then descended the ladder and made her way back to the front of the castle, where Mihawk and Zoro had just ended their training for the day.

“Everything all right, Liv?” asked Zoro, nodding in greeting. She noticed the young man was sporting quite the lump on his head, and a bruise was beginning to form. She wasn’t sure what happened, but she knew Perona probably enjoyed watching it.

“All good, just getting some more stuff from the ship and catching up with the Revolutionaries. They’d been worried about me. What, um, what happened here?” she asked, gesturing to the slowly forming patch of purple.

“It was great, Liv!” Perona piped in, “Zoro was sassing Mihawk so Mihawk whapped him with the pommel of his sword.” She laughed at the memory, kicking her legs in the air.

“Mihawk!” Olivia said admonishingly. “Was that really necessary?” He turned to face her with a grin.

“He deserved it,” said Mihawk.

“He absolutely deserved it,” added Perona.

“Oh there’s no question I deserved it,” said Zoro. Despite the pain, the young man sported a devilish grin. Olivia wondered what he’d said to earn the injury.

“What’s that Rayleigh used to like to say?” Mihawk asked Olivia, bringing Yoru up to rest on his shoulder. “‘Talk shit, get hit?’” 

Olivia giggled. “How could I forget?”

They all made their way into the castle, where Mihawk and Zoro split off to clean up after training, leaving Olivia and Perona to prepare lunch.

Making his way up the long, winding staircase, Mihawk reflected over the last few days. So much had happened in the span of less than a week. One day his life was continuing as normal (well, his new normal anyway), and the next the only woman he ever loved was in his house after fifteen years apart. And now he was falling in love with her again? And he couldn’t be sure, but he felt somewhat confident that she felt the same. Holy hell, how did this happen? It was a lot to take in.

Nothing’s really changed, Mihawk thought as he stepped into the shower. He was still a Warlord. She was still a Revolutionary. But they were also much older now, and so much stronger and more powerful in their own rights. There had to be something that was able to give in order to make this work, right?

Washing the sweat from his body, Mihawk decided he wasn’t going to approach Olivia about the subject, or at least not yet. Despite the fact that he was pretty sure his feelings were mutual, and he knew that their time was limited, he couldn’t rush into this. There was just too much to consider before making that leap, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it if it didn’t work out…not again, not a second time.

Mihawk had just stepped out of the shower, when a noise from his bedroom caught his attention. Throwing on a black cotton robe, he made his way to the sitting area by the far window, where a transponder snail sat. 

Mmmm badabadabada. Mmmm badabadabada.

Mihawk lifted the receiver. Cuh-lick.

“Hello?”

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaawk!”

Mihawk sighed. “Hello, Shanks.”

“How’s it going, buddy?” Shank’s cheerful voice came through the phone. Though the two men were rivals for a time, they were also close friends, even after so many years. He’d never say it out loud, but Mihawk considered Shanks to be his best friend. Of the original foursome that set sail all those years ago after Roger’s execution, Mihawk was always the least close with Buggy. Which isn’t to say he didn’t consider him a friend, he did….but he and Buggy were basically polar opposites, and Mihawk could only handle the clown in small doses. Olivia had been the one Buggy was closest to of the group, and he was sure they were still friends today.

“It’s…Shanks, I have so much to tell you.” Mihawk quickly launched into the events of the last few days.

“Holy shit, Hawk-eyes,” Shanks said when his friend finished recounting his tale. “I can’t believe the winds of fate brought you two back together!” The snail took on Shanks’s crooked grin and brightly shining, starry eyes. He had always been the couple’s biggest supporter. It had been Shanks, after all, who was constantly pushing Mihawk to tell Olivia how he felt when Mihawk was absolutely terrified to do so.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Mihawk responded. “It’s certainly a coincidence, and a happy one at that, but I still haven’t quite decided how to go about pursuing this, if I pursue her at all.”

“Okay,” said Shanks, “But you know you have to, right? Are you really gonna let her walk away again?”

Mihawk gripped the bridge of his nose with two fingers, his forehead creasing in frustration. “I don’t know, Shanks. There’s so much to consider. I don’t know if I can have her back as my partner, but I can definitely have her back as my friend. And maybe if she’s willing we could even –”

“Well, you’ve got a little less than a month, right? You have time. And speaking of things happening in a little less than a month, I have a proposition for you.”

“Oh?” Mihawk said cautiously. One never knew what might be included in a proposition from Shanks.

“The crew’s been working their asses off lately, and I was hoping to reward them with something nice. What would you say to having my guys come by Kuraigana to ring in the New Year together?”

Mihawk smiled. While a mostly solitary man, he did enjoy a good party every once in a while, and Shanks’s crew certainly knew how to party. It could be fun. He didn’t get to see Shanks very often, and he knew Olivia would love the opportunity to see her old friend. Plus, he also knew Shanks was dying to meet Zoro and hear about all of his adventures with Luffy.

“I think we can arrange that.”

The snail beamed. “Great! Expect us to make port on the 31st. See ya then, Hawk-eyes! And tell Olivia I said hi.”

“Will do. See you then, Shanks.” Mihawk hung up the receiver. This would prove to be interesting.

Mihawk entered the kitchen to see a plate of onigiri laid out and waiting for him along with Olivia, Zoro, and Perona. “Sorry for the delay, Shanks called.”

Olivia’s head shot up as Zoro reached past her to grab one. “Shanks! How’s my favorite red-headed amputee doing? I haven’t seen him in almost a year.”

Mihawk chuckled, reaching for an onigiri of his own. “He’s doing just fine, and he says hi by the way. He actually asked if he could come by with his crew to celebrate New Year’s Eve with us.”

“Oh, I love a party!” Perona said, taking a bite. “I’m gonna bake so much cake!”

“Wait,” Zoro said, his mouth adorned with rice. “Shanks the Emperor is coming here??”

“Yes, Shanks, my friend, who also happens to be one of the Four Emperors, will be here. That is, if you’re all willing to help me get the place in order to host his crew.”

“It’s not even a question, Mihawk!” Perona squealed, flying in circles around the older man. Olivia nodded in agreement, her mouth full.

Zoro paused for a moment, the gears turning in his brain. “Can I fight him?” he asked with a joking smile.

Mihawk rolled his eyes. “You can ask him when he gets here, but I’d prefer not to have to scrub your blood out of the stone floors.”

“So glad to see you have faith in my abilities, Mihawk. Really, you’re great at building my confidence. The guy has one arm for God’s sake.”

“Hey, don’t let that one arm lure you into a false sense of security,” Olivia chimed in. “That’s how he gets you.”

Mihawk patted Zoro’s back affectionately, something that surprised the both of them but Mihawk didn’t let it show. “You’ll get there in time, Zoro. You’ll have to if you want to help Luffy become King of the Pirates before Shanks does.”

The ending is weak af, I'm sorry.

Previous - Chapter 5: Laughing in the Rain

Next - Chapter 7: Bonding

[medicus-mortem]

@videcoeur​ answered [+]

Security had this guy on their radar for a few hours already, but Carina was ahead of them. She noticed him the moment he strolled past the heavy, twin golden doors leading inside the higher levels of her casino. Confident, a smirk to die for, luck shining through with every step, but a hint of malice that couldn't possibly hide from her gaze.

She knew him, too. Well, his reputation preceded him. Trafalgar Law. It was such an honor to have such a big name at her casino. And furthermore, she knows deep down that Gild would have hated his guts. Not because of his destruction of Doflamingo's empire, but because he was...simply better in every way.

That said, she wouldn't be where she was if she just let people take things from her ♥

She was the one taking, always. Not the contrary. Carina wasn't big on punishment, however, especially if she could see potential. She liked thieves, how could she not? All the influential people in her life were burglars, pirates or thieves. She had an obvious soft spot for those who knew what they wanted and did what they needed to do to obtain it.

Her hips swayed, her skin-tight black dress hugging her curves nicely as she walked down the row of tables and blinking machines, to where Law was waiting. His expectant smile, the smooth motion of his fingers playing with the casino chip- it stirred something in her. Positively, of course.

"Not in trouble" She replied, one hand toying idly with the feather boa around her neck. "Yet."

Surprisingly, she shooed the guards away but took a seat right next to Law.  The boa loosened around her neck, falling gracefully off her shoulder and dangling from her elbows instead.

"Mind if I join you for the next game?" As lucky (or cheating) as he was, he could never possibly best her. Only one person in the world could do that and she was not on the ship tonight, unfortunately.

   His eyes do dart to the burly guards flanking Carina. Yes, Law knows who she is. The new proprietor of Gran Tesoro, the casino cruiser. Gained control after the Straw Hats visited. He suspects she helped them take out her old boss. The mastermind behind his mutiny in a sense. Another soul that wished to control the bundle of chaos that is the Straw Hat crew. Did go as planned for her? Or did she experience the same type of headaches he did? A conversation for later perhaps.

   There is a moment when Law suspects they’re going to try to throw him off the ship but then Carina waves and her guards leave. His easy smirk and relaxed posture doesn’t change, but an eyebrow does arch at her, because it appears she does indeed wish to try her luck. Carina sits herself down beside him, joining in on the poker game. Interesting. Although, Law himself doesn’t rely on luck.

   He’s not a gambler, he would never consider himself one really. He prefers to be in control, to know the certainty of a favourable outcome or to be able to turn a situation to his advantage. When he plays games like these he plays the system and in his mind that’s not cheating. Just him using all the skill available to him. If that markedly increases his chance to win then doesn’t that mean he’s playing the game right?

   “I don’t mind at all,” he says, giving Carina one of his confident, devilish grins. “A fresh face at the table would be refreshing, actually.”

   The casino chip gets one more expert roll through his fingers before he straightens and places it down with his pile of other chips. His eyes stay focused on the new player because yes he noted that ‘yet�� in her words. So, she’s here to determine if he has been cheating then? Very well. Let’s have a game.

   “Dealer, if you’d be so kind?” the doctor hums, gesturing at the table and still being as relaxed as ever.

[the-firebird69]

For lunch and full skill attacks on the trumps in the max supporting them and it's going well they're not sustaining their forces. They're falling rapidly and they won't last the day. It is a matter of ignorance and they are very ignorant people. They have about three or four trillion in each area going after stuff and we take them out every hour and by the end of the day they are not going to be a significant Force globally and they are not going to be at the finance centers as much probably half of what they were and they will also be in constant state of battle and war because of today's events. They're extremely obnoxious and rude unkind and very sloppy and we must take advantage of it in order to take over the banks and we're going to use it against the max who are pushing them and right now it's relatively easy they become more difficult later and we'll just simply hold the ground we took but the more we take of the ground the war was going to have to use to hold it and we need to to weaken them in less than their threat potential

Thor Freya

Olympus

I'm actually sick of it I can't stand this guy he is such a repulsive a****** we need him out ASAP and out of the sheriff's office I don't know why the hell he ever got in there he's such a bum he's a putrid loser and bja opted for his Island let's start having everybody else fall apart he's terrifying me bad too at it

Hera

The max use that function and it's working but not really working that well for them and they can't see why it's bad yet and they haven't suffered massive losses until the past couple days and they said they're making an offensive and then going to gain by grabbing the ships Tommy f would be defeated by the empire alone with a stone chips up and the only one zero to the foreigners would eventually have to engage to fight over the hulls that they left. But the empire also has two mega ships in the outclass all of Tommy f ships and he turns out to be a bum and the trumps are complete absolute bums and don't have a fleet worth mentioning and there's not much they can do about it so they harass our son and are going to lose everything because other groups need stuff to build chips with as they sit there and whittle away at everything and let it all go we're not going to do business with them we're not sending any chassis or bodies to them we're taking over their factories they chose to fall flat on their face and don't seem to care about it we're sending your orders out to that effect right now

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're beginning your idea and we understand that these bozos think that they have a plan and they want to combine all these parts into kits for certain vehicles, we're going to do similar and then we're going to start adding to it eventually you do the hatchback and it looks intense as it is right now they have a lot of fairings and body parts that make it look pretty good and then make it work better and yeah they're going to come up with these kits and they're going to charge money too much and it will probably work for time and other people will compete and will be cheaper and probably better and then we will of course gobble them all up. And she is injured badly and doesn't feel good and she should have stayed home and healed and has rings on to prove she's threatening our son and other items lots of it and what we say is you should have stayed home and tried to get better so she's angry about that and says it's not right for us to say it and of course it is nobody else is they're all telling you the wrong thing since now it's on so just run through the minefield like everybody else. She's kind of gets it and her father is a huge loser and liar and we want them out of here and enough for this moron so I'll just walk by same dumb s*** we're going to try and get the car program going because everything else sucks wind down here and they seem to like it

You have some feedback already and it's very positive it's unbelievable but there are huge numbers of people that want him to do it giant numbers want to see them work together to see if they get along and they want to see if it goes anywhere or who's watching and why they're doing it because of Disney world and raceway and more and they also want to try and revolt and has to do with the max and we're going to leave people behind like Trump and hes spent

Thor Freya

We have a lot of people that want to do this idea and we have interest here of people to make fairing kits including Biden and we welcome it and he says not a toy and her son knows that and it's familiar with the machine and knows about better Jets and he's flying he says a better shut up he doesn't fly those because the max have them and it says oh yeah and you designed them you said and you let them go and you let these retards do whatever they want to whomever they want and feel like they're doing the right thing because you got very annoyed and couldn't help it like Dave and he says a little bit but it's true and you're flinging them that stuff so if I fleeing that stuff they might prepare or they might do something at least point it out rather than die a useless death. And that's true. So he's talking about too and he wants to be involved somehow and he wants people to do well but doesn't know exactly what he'd do and the sun says to be like a supplier and try and get it to work because you have a vested interest in supplying the particular kit and he gets it. And we have a Jenna problem just saying he's not to have Biden do anything and it's not his faulty you f***** it all up because Brian who is handing stuff to the empire not to the other guys and won't shut up and won't stop. People take the cake they're just absolute f****** assholes

Bitol and Goddess Wife

Olympus

[spockandawe]

I'll be boring and ask about xuexiao? I just can't decide if it's more fun for them to be happy or tragically canon

Xuexiao!!!!!!!!

Downsides: 

The biggest downside is that xue yang Fucked Up in a nearly-irrecoverable fashion before things could even get going, but him taking out Song Lan’s eyes was the only reason they were able to get to know each other later to begin with, and you know what, I haven’t talked about this ship in a while, and I forgot how much it hurts ;u;

Upsides: 

Literally everything. Even the massive Fucking Up. God, I just tabbed away from this and stared at my dashboard for like five minutes just thinking about everything I love about them, let me try to think about where to even begin, without just repeating my whole xuexiao tag, haha

Xiao Xingchen is horribly lonely, and deeply, quietly miserable. I want him to have a friend who is completely irreverent, teases him instead of babies him over being blind, can talk forever, and can make anything into a joke. I want him to have a friend who treats him like just another guy instead of an untouchable immortal or an object of pity. And instead of an easy mark! It’s a friendship where xue yang will casually con him into going to do chores because xiao xingchen can’t see him cheating, but where he’ll also explain the joke and tease him for being so easy to fool, and where he’ll also go out and menace the merchants who take advantage of his blindness to give him shitty goods.

(on the one hand, I live for how outraged and upset song lan is when he sees xue yang teasing xiao xingchen over being blind, but also... even though xiao xingchen is a sweetheart, I feel like one of the good ways to genuinely upset him is by treating him like he’s fragile or helpless. xue yang is maybe incredibly shameless for teasing him about it when it’s semi-partially his fault, but it also gives me feelings when I wonder about how many people over the years have been able to just treat xiao xingchen like a person)

And Xue Yang... I do also have a lot of feelings over what a novel and interesting experience it is for him to be liked. Or trusted. And on the one hand, I am positive he thinks Xiao Xingchen is impossibly stupid for trusting him in the first place, and I feel like the whole “fierce corpse” fiasco is at least partially a joke on this subject. But the fierce corpse thing stops, at some point, and Xue Yang stays. He’s a skilled cultivator, even if he has to conceal his identity, and other rogue cultivators have seemed to to pretty well for themselves in the world. But he stays here in this broken-down coffin home with this new family, and I feel completely confident in saying that he liked living there. He tried to hide the Song Lan thing so that he could keep peacefully living there. This was, very possibly, the first home he ever had where he was wanted.

Of course, there’s all that fucking up that xue yang does before he realizes that this is something he wants to preserve and keep and nurture. Which... this is a tragedy that I find very tasty, and the fucking up is an important part of that. But also, I do desperately want to see them actually work things out and struggle forward through the mess (with or without song lan, though a dead song lan really, really makes an already fraught situation extra, extra complicated)

On the tragedy front, my latest thing that hurts me so very deeply is how Xiao Xingchen’s goals and ambitions gradually... shrink over time, until all he wants is to live in this coffin home with his little family, and how Xue Yang ends revealing to him that with even these small goals and small ambitions, that for every important person in Xiao Xingchen’s life, he was either wrong about them (Song Lan) or believed them when they lied to his face (A-Qing and Xue Yang). In a situation where Xiao Xingchen doesn’t die right there, there’s so much potential in these people finding a way to express to Xiao Xingchen how much he’s loved and wanted, and for them to try not to panic in front of him, or overburden him with their needs when he seems so brittle and fragile. But we don’t get that! We get death, and this little family (+song lan) that cared about each other is absolutely shattered, and almost everyone is dead, and the only person who isn’t dead is absolutely miserable.

And it’s both so tasty and so painful just how much Xue Yang regrets things. I’ve talked at length about what he’s trying to communicate as things fall apart, and why he starts reacting badly and lashing out and trying to hurt Xiao Xingchen (*hurt Xiao Xingchen back). There were a lot of ways for things to end....  unhealthily and unhappily, but in an unhealthy and/or unhappy situation, there are ways to fix it, even if it takes time, even if it’s never the same as it was before. Instead, Xiao Xingchen ends up dead, he ends up too shattered to reanimate, and Xue Yang is forced to admit that this is a situation that can’t be fixed-- Not that he ever properly admits that, not that he ever completely surrenders, right up until the day he dies. But it breaks my heart to see him cleaning off Xiao Xingchen’s body and setting out two places for dinner, and seeing him realizing, even if he pulls himself back together and goes back to fighting despite the odds.

I honestly don’t know if I prefer the tragedy or a happy ending, because they’re both so rich in emotions that it’s almost impossible for me to choose one over the other. I do like happy endings much better than sad ones, but the book was never going to put the time into their relationship to take them past the damage that the “fierce corpse” thing did. And the tragedy that we get makes daydreaming about possible happy endings more... intense and tasty. They give me the sharpest, sharpest yearnings for them to experience Happiness, but Xiao Xingchen dies grieving and despairing, and Xue Yang stubbornly holds on, trying to find some way to get him back, until he dies too, holding onto an old piece of candy and the memory of being cared for.

They hurt me a lot, in ways that are good, but also intensely painful! There’s something about a relationship where two characters should be enemies and are enemies, but once that framing is taken away from them, they realize just how intensely they like each other. Of course, in this case, it’s setting Xiao Xingchen up for a miserable time later, and Xue Yang for a miserable time of his own after that, but it’s so deliciously bittersweet to see how happy they made each other, and how happy they could have continued making each other, if things were a little different. And, obviously, it gives me intense cravings where they somehow are given the opportunity to work through all the damage that was done, until they gradually manage to rediscover what it was about the other person that made them so happy to begin with.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

This Needs To Stop.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics, p*dopilia, grooming, mental health and r*cism. 

Ok so this is a bit of a rant so apologies for that, I usually try to stay away from sensitive or controversial topics but this is something that I am passionate about and that I think is important. Also I just want to say that I am in no way directing this to the entirety of the M*lina fandom, I know most are just enjoying their ship, but there are those few who are deliberately seeking out darklina posts or are cross tagging and coming into darklina’s asks and just generally harassing the fandom which sadly I am seeing happen more and more often. Also I do feel like this can apply to all fandoms not just exclusively shadow and bone/ grishaverse, its just this is the one I am experiencing it in right now.   

I’ve seen antis call darkling/darklina fans many problematic things, delusional, mentally ill, ab*se apologists. They also like throwing around words like grooming and p*dophile. The thing that makes me angry about this is that they are taking sensitive topics, topics that many users have been effected by and they are using them to attack shippers merely for liking a character or ship that they don’t. What is even more frustrating is they seem to be throwing these words around without evening fully understanding what they even mean. For example the claim that the Darkling is a p*dophile because Alina is only 17 in the books. Well p*dophilia is a psychiatric disorder where adults are attracted to children and in order for it to be classed as p*dophilia the child involved has to be 13 or younger. A 16 year old can be diagnosed as a p*dophile if they become attracted to a child that is five years or more younger than them. So the relationship between the Darkling and Alina does not meet the criteria to be categorised this way as Alina is over the age of 13. As for it being a case of Alina is underaged, well, for one that depends on where in the world you are. This is based on imperial russia, in russia the age of consent is 16. This means that a 16 year old can have a sexual relationship with a 30 year old, a 70 year old or a 500 year old immortal and in a court of law it is still legal, whatever your own moral issues around age gaps might be. Even then it can be argued that it is irrelevant because, as with most historical literature where young girls marry older men, you cannot put modern day concepts onto them. Like I said this story is based on Imperial Russia, the life expectancy of a person in that time was around 30 years old. That means a 15 year old girl is already half way through her life, she is literally middle aged. It is at this point usually that girls started to prepare to get married and have children and yes sometimes it was to an older man because men were expected to provide for their wife and family which means having a house and job and means to support a family which an older man was more likely to have. My point is a 15-17 year old in say Imperial Russia is not the same as a 15-17 year old in modern day therefore you can’t take modern day laws and morals and place them onto that situation, it doesn’t work, they lived completely different lives. In Alina’s world, she is at the age where girls might get married and her being courted by a man of the general’s status would have been a normal occurrence, for her to have caught the attention of someone with his standing would have been considered very advantageous for her. I mean she literally gets two marriage proposals in book 2, where I believe she is still 17, and Nikolai is talking about how if she marries him it’ll be in name only and they can make Mal her guard so she can do the horizontal tango with him whenever she feels like it, so clearly the characters themselves feel like Alina is at an age where she can, one get married, and two be engaging in a sexual relationship. 

So why does all of this matter? Well it matters because people reading these posts, asks and comments left on posts, may be victims of p*dophilia and grooming. A lot of these comments don’t have trigger warnings and when you are talking about sensitive and triggering topics like this you need to be careful and when you are talking about them without even really understanding them, and where they can’t apply to the characters you are talking about anyway, then you are potentially triggering someone needlessly because you didn’t need to be talking about it in the first place, I hope I am making sense there. I am not saying don’t talk about these subjects if you do think they are relevant, I am saying make sure you do the research, that you understand the subject you are addressing and when you do talk about it do it in a respectful manner, don’t throw it out there in an angry spew accompanied by alot of other derogatory words because that won’t help anyone.     

Another subject I want to talk about is I am also seeing a lot of posts about how darklinas must be delusional or mentally unwell. This, again, is hurtful and harmful. Mental illness for a very long time has had a stigma around it, one that makes the person suffering from it feel weak and ashamed. There was always the attitude of if you are mentally ill then there is something wrong with you, or the attitude of oh just get over it, cheer up, think a different way. But mental illness isn’t just a state of emotion its often caused by hormonal imbalances and chemicals. Genetics can also play a part. There is nothing wrong with someone who is mentally ill their brain is just wired a different way. I also find it problematic when people throw around the word delusional. Maybe its nothing to you, just a word, but alot of mental illnesses have actual delusions as one of their symptoms. These can be scary and upsetting and are outside the control of the person experiencing them. Making the suggestion that liking a particular ships means you are delusional is potentially very triggering to those who do battle delusions and have fought to overcome them. The stigma around mental illness has prevented alot of people suffering from mental illness from seeking help out of shame or embarrassment or even out of fear of being judged and although I do feel like as a society we’ve become alot more open about mental health and alot more accepting there is still a long way to go. When antis start saying things like ‘I can’t believe people ship this, they must be mentally ill,’ or ‘they must be sick in the head’, or ‘if you like this ship than you must be delusional’ not only are they being incredibly prejudice against people who have mental illnesses but it is also so harmful because if there is someone reading that post who is struggling with their mental health and are considering seeking help then you’ve just made them feel more ashamed, more like there is something wrong with them which will make them even less likely to seek out help and as I said before there isn’t anything wrong with a person who has a mental health condition they are just different from you. That doesn’t give you the right to make them feel like they are less capable of deciding what they do or do not like or even what they should or should not like to be classified as a ‘normal’ person. 

The most latest problematic statements I’ve seen have been those accusing Darklina’s of being r*cist. This one I found a bit funny in a it’s not funny kind of way. I just don’t think there is much logic behind this view point. I’m not sure I understand the antis reasoning here. Mostly because I’m pretty sure the majority of the Darklina fandom comes from the books where Mal is described as being a white, brown haired, blue eyed guy. Funnily enough the Darkling is described as being able to pass for Shu, though to be clear it isn’t confirmed that he is a POC, but out of the two in the books the Darkling is more likely to be a POC than Mal. On top of that whilst many darklina fans have made it clear they are not a fan of Mal in the books many have said they like the show version of Mal who, as we all know, the actor Archie is a POC. So by anti logic darklinas are all r*cist because they don’t like book Mal who is depicted as white but we do like show Mal who is a POC. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I do understand that there were some ‘fans’ who made inappropriate and r*cist comments to some cast members including Archie and I would never ever condone that no matter who I ship. But you also can’t condemn an entire fandom just because of the actions of a select few. I don’t judge all M*linas for that one fan who accused Ben of being a pr*dator and p*dophile because of his friendship with Jessie. Once again my point is r*cism is a serious topic and not something someone should use as a retort or comeback to someone not shipping your ship. When we use these words casually it makes it less likely that they’ll be taking seriously when they really do need to be taken seriously, when they really are relevant to what is happening. If we keep using them so casually then when we really do need to talk about them, when it really matters, people will just shrug and go ‘its just antis being antis.’ 

I think it is possible for people to like different things, to debate and analyse different relationships and characters and talk about what flaws they may have in a respectful manner. I wouldn’t say I am anti m*lina but at the same time there are things about them that I find problematic but when I talk about those things I hope I do so in a way that doesn’t demean those who do like the ship. I understand that people will have a different interpretation than me and whilst I might not understand where their thinking comes from or why they have a particular opinion I would never make the assumption that they are mentally unwell or make judgements on their character or morals. I try to think about the words I am writing. I know how easy it can be to just throw a word out there without thinking about it. I used to use the word delusional to describe fans of certain ships, but when I recognised how damaging and problematic that was I stopped and I changed my behaviour because it was never my intention to hurt others. I guess the main message I am trying to convey here is we need to be careful with our words they’re not as insignificant as we might think.                

[thiswasinevitableid]

Hi there! If you're feeling it for mermay, I would like to request #9: folklore with OT4? No preference on rating: go with whatever feels best! Thank you so much and I hope you have a nice day!

Here you go! I went SFW on this one.

“You did what??” Dani stares at Barclay, shocked.

“I offered him a job. He needed work while he was here in town for his research, and he seemed nice, and, uh, and-”

“And attractive.” Indrid adds, turning to a new page in his sketchbook.

“Branchin out a little from your usual type, sugar.” Duck kisses his cheek.

“Barclay, he’s a folklorist. A folklorist who specifically studies selkies.”

“Yeah he, uh, he said so. I figured if he’s working for me, or even if he wants me to show him around, I can steer him away from all the selkies.”

“Except for the one showing him around.” Dani gives him a look only an older sister could give.

“It’s not like he’s gonna see me transform.” Barclay mutters.

The meeting ends much as it began; with everyone agreeing that the new guy in town was a potential threat and should be given absolutely no information whatsoever. It’s not that Barclay doesn’t see the man, who introduced himself as Joseph Stern, as someone after Keplers secrets. It’s more that the guy uprooted his entire life to come to an obscure, Alaskan bay in hopes of finding the thing he wants most in the world. Barclay sympathizes. 

Kepler is notorious among selkies; a safe haven, a place where there are humans who will protect them, help them, even love them. More than one enterprising selkie, trapped in a loveless marriage or unending servitude, has tricked the human who betrayed them into going north. It’s rare that a human who committed such a breach of trust remains there long; and they always give the pelt back, usually while packing their things in a desperate rush.

It’s a pity, then, that Barclay never got the man who tricked him up here.

He finishes the dinner rush at Amnesty Lodge, located on the edge of the bay and a welcome stop for travelers from land and water alike. As he usually does this time of night, he heads to a dock, far from the lights of town or the ships out at sea, and sits with his feet in the water, solitary and solemn. Tonight, he’s not alone for long. 

Silvery hair emerges from the water as Indrid, now sporting a lovely grey tail, swims over to him. They met when Barclay first came here, Indrid more than a little odd but appreciative of Barclays skill in the kitchen and bedroom in ways he’d been without for years. The gift of future vision meant Indrid was nomadic, in that he was determined to use his powers to prevent tragedy whenever he could, and so one day he swam away from Kepler.

Barclay didn’t see him for years. No one did. Until a ranger by the name of Duck Newton was helping tag seals that kept swimming too far up the salmon runs and got the shock of his life when the one he caught turned into a man as he was holding him. Indrid pointed out that his ear was already pierced and if they needed him to hunt somewhere else they could just ask. Duck who, in spite of living in Kepler for years, did not believe in the supernatural until he was holding it, offered the first apology that came to mind, which included inviting Indrid to dinner.

They’ve been dating for two years now.

Indrid rises from the water enough to rest his head in Barclay’s lap, “Come stay with us tonight.”

“I...do you really want me to?”

“If you do not, you spend all night brooding and unable to sleep, thus making for a miserable morning. Too, I am rather fond of your company.” Indrid tilts his chin up with a grin and Barclay leans down to kiss him, “and before you ask, yes, Duck remains fine with this. He says, and I quote ‘Barclay’s my friend and also if you’re hugging him I can escape bed long enough to get ready for work.”

He chuckles, “Okay, I’ll be over soon. I, uh, is there any chance-”

“No” Indrid shakes his head with a sigh, rubs his cheek against Barclays leg, “there are still no futures where we find your coat. Wherever that bastard sent it, he hid it well.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay’is in trouble; not only is Joseph a good cook, he’s good company too. He finishes his shifts sweaty and exhausted, same as Barclay, and the selkie wonders what it would be like to see him breathless and red faced in other contexts. He suspects he’s not the only one.

Joseph’s research regularly takes him into the national forest or the adjoining state park on the beach, meaning he’s routinely running into Duck. The ranger initially worried his inability to lie convincingly would be a problem. But after some cursory questions that Indrid saw coming and coached him through technically true responses to, he and Joseph have struck up a passing friendship. 

“Joseph is also very interested in his love life” Indrid reveals while swimming circles around Barclay as he stands in the cold water, “not that I blame him. He has excellent taste in men. Present company included.”

“He’s just being nice to me. And I’m practically his boss.”

Indrid pauses his swimming to stare at him, “Dearest, when he’s not working, what does he do?”

“Uh, crosswords? Or he reads, and he likes trying new restaurants and going to movies.”

“And you know all this how?”

“Because he does it near me or asks me to go with him. Oh, uh, huh. Maybe he does have a thing for me.”

Indrid floats into his arms, kisses him, “invite him to dinner. The others at the Lodge are, understandably, still wary of him and don’t want him around. But there’s no harm in him having over for a meal.”

Barclay pulls Indrid closer, tickles his cheek with his beard as he teases, “Seems like I’m not the only one with a crush on him.”

“Not in the slightest.” Indrid grins, “Our lives have not been easy. I don’t know about you, but I intend to embrace affection and love whenever the opportunity presents itself. “

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There’s no way Joseph is passing up this opportunity. 

He’d been refilling his travel mug at the complementary coffee kiosk in the Lodge and asked if anyone happened to know which rivers had the most reported selkie sightings. After each blurting out a different answer, his fellow guests (tenants, really) decided on the Bluff Creek river as the best option.

He wonders if they know just how obvious it is that they’re hiding something. 

Joseph is well aware that folklorists are seen as credulous and gullible. He uses that to his advantage. There’s no reason for anyone to know about his seven years in the FBI prior to this. No reason for them to know he knows that Dani will propose to Aubrey soon, that Jake is sneaking out every night, that Barclay is searching for something as intensely as Joseph is. 

Most nights, he falls asleep under a burnt orange bedspread dreaming that he’s what the cook is looking for. 

Barclays feelings for him are one of the few things at Amnesty he can’t decipher. He offers him a job, takes a personal interest in his welfare, and makes him coffee just how he likes it. Every single morning. But he gets jittery when Joseph asks him about himself, and some days he outright hides from him until they’re in the kitchen. 

The dinners with Indrid and Duck aren’t helping his confusion. Barclay practically holds his hand during them, but turns pink whenever Indrid winks at him. And Duck…well, Joseph knows he’s good looking, and he’s never had a hard time hooking up while traveling. The rangers attention just makes him so hot under the collar he wants to strip down at the table. Which is why he can’t decide if Duck agreeing to be his guide on the river is a stroke of luck or a brilliant plan to keep him from noticing things they don’t want him to see. 

When Duck meets him at the dock, his casual outdoor clothes unfairly flattering (Indrid likes the uniform better, but Joseph finds it hides too much of Duck’s arms and chest), he decides there’s no point in looking a gift hunk in the mouth. 

They paddle upriver, trading bad, pun-based jokes until the wind picks up and drowns their voices out. It’s slow going, and there’s no sign of a selkie, but Duck remains excellent company. They make camp an hour before sunset, in a two man tent that leaves them smushed shoulder to shoulder. 

As they’re comparing notes on growing up trans in a small town, Joseph shares the story of the time he nearly broke his tailbone after slipping on a packer he left on the floor. Duck guffaws, shaking the tent as he does, and ends up giggling into Joseph’s shoulder as they both wipe tears from their eyes.

“You have a great laugh, you know that?”

“Sound like a bird of paradise gettin hit by an accordion.” Duck isn’t moving his head.

“That’s a remarkably accurate description, but my point stands.”

He feels Duck turn his head, “Joe? Would, uh, would it be okay if I kissed you? You can say no, swear I won’t abandon you or leave you for the bears so some shit. Just, uh, been thinkin about it all day and figured I’d ask.”

“It won’t upset Indrid?” He slides his hand from his sleeping bag to hold Duck’s own. 

“Nah. He and I talked about it. And, uh, his uh, his social circles ain’t super invested in monogamy.”

“Oh. Um” He wants to roll over, wants to pin Duck and kiss him until dawn. But if he does, it might mean he never gets a chance to do the same to a certain someone else, someone who he wishes would just tell him how he felt-

“If it, uh, helps any, happen to know Barclay sees things the same way ‘Drid does.” 

“In that case…” he crawls from the sleeping bag, Duck unzipping his own and kicking it open so there’s nothing to stop Joseph’s hands as they stroke and grope their way across his body, “I have a proposal for you.”

Unsurprisingly, they get a late start the next day. As Joseph is paddling, he spots a tail flipping out of the water, far too large to be an otter. Before he can say anything, the roar of the river changes, turning rougher and deeper.

“Fuck, the snowmelt must’ve started earlier than usual, these rapids normally ain’t this big.”

“Should we try to reverse?”

“Maybe we can, nope, fuck, okay we’re goin through whether we like it or not, try’n stay low and hold on.”

Duck’s excellent advice goes out the window at the same instant Joseph goes out of the boat, a swell catching him off guard. He hits a rock at just the wrong angle, pain shooting up his wrist as he releases his paddle. He’s not panicking, but the more he fights to keep his head up, the closer he gets. 

Then an arm is around his waist, pulling him to shore. He has just enough time to see his rescuer has a grey tail before they disappear under the water. There’s no sign of the boat or of Duck. A tremendous splash resolves one of those problems. 

“Duck!” He hurries to where the ranger coughs water onto the pebbles, “thank the lord.”

“Nah” he coughs again, “thank him.” He gestures weakly to the familiar face and torso now attached to a tail coated in silver-grey fur. 

“You’re a selkie.” Joseph scoots across the rocky ground. 

“Indeed.” Indrid taps his fingers together, “I, ah, I am sorry my love. I know we agreed he could not know, but when the timelines showed the rapids most of them involved you both going into the river and in, in many of them one or both of you was knocked unconscious on the stones and did not resurface. I could not let that happen to you. Either of you.”

Joseph reaches out reverently with his uninjured hand, and Indrid guides his tail to meet him. It’s exquisite to touch, and as he smooths his fingers along it, Indrid purrs and rolls onto his back. 

“Mmmm, already you are proving why it was worth it to save you.” Indrid grins, wiggling closer. 

“You, uh, you ain’t angry at us for hidin it from you?” Duck guides Indrid’s head into his lap, petting his hair, looking warily at Joseph.

“Duck, I’ve known you and the rest of the people at the Lodge were hiding things from me, and that given the towns reputation those things were probably related to selkies. It’s not like there aren’t dangers to people learning about selkies and where they live, and I never made it clear whether my research would lead to that. It hurts not to be trusted but, well, I’m used to it.” He looks down at where Indrid is nuzzling Duck’s belly, “I promise, I won’t put you or any of the others in danger.”

“Mmmm” Indrid’s tail relaxes under his hands, “apologies, I am listening, but it took a great deal of energy to reach you in time and pull you from the water. I think I shall nap until our ride comes.”

“Uh, think you’re gonna nap in the car.” Duck tilts his head towards the treeline, where the rumble of an engine rattles up the abandoned logging road. A minute later, a door slams and Barclay appears from the trees. 

“Fuck, he wasn’t kidding that you had rough time.” Barclay helps Joseph into the back seat while Indrid, now sporting legs, climbs into the front, “Duck, med kit is behind the drivers seat.”

“Great. Joe, c’mere, I can secure your wrist and get you some painkillers.”

“Right. Thanks.” He turns back to Barclay, eyebrow raised.

“Guess, uh, guess we have a lot to talk about later. I, uh, I should probably just tell you the big thing now. I’m uh, I’m like Indrid.”

Joseph smiles, “I guessed as much the moment Indrid revealed himself.”

“Oh.”

“Is there, um, anything else you want to tell me sooner rather than later?”

Barclay’s honey-rich baritone comes out as shy as a first kiss, “If you said you’d go out with me, it’d make my whole fucking year.”

Joseph murmurs in his ear, “The instant I’m out of the hospital, you’re taking me to dinner.”

------------------------------------------------

There’s a sturdy hammock at the edge of Duck’s yard, overlooking the river. Joseph had no interest in it until he discovered it was the perfect size to have Barclay lay in so he could then lay on his chest. They’re in that configuration when he asks the question he’s been putting off for fear of upsetting his boyfriend. 

“How did you end up in Kepler? Were you born here?”

“No.” Barclay’s hands settle on his back, “I grew up off the coast of California. There was a guy, a human, we’d been friends since we were teenagers. As we got older he got, uh, he got it into his head that we could go on the road as like a, uh, a sideshow act. That people would pay big money to see a real selkie. I hated the fucking idea, told him to drop it, and he did, went back to being the considerate, cool guy he’d been when we met. He made a big dinner for my birthday, invited me over and…” his fists tighten in Joseph’s shirt, “and when I was there, he stole my coat.”

“Oh, Barclay” Joseph pets his chest, “I’m so sorry.”

“I agreed to work with him because I didn’t have a choice. I hated every goddamn minute of planning, of knowing he saw me as a fucking meal ticket. One night I snapped, told him to give me back my coat and let me go or I’d make him regret it. He locked me in the fucking basement, and when I got out, he told me he’d shipped my coat far, far away, and if I ever wanted to find it, I’d better stay with him. Asshole didn’t realize getting rid of the coat meant he didn’t have a hold on me anymore. I left, looked for it for years, then basically gave up and moved to Kepler because I knew there were other selkies here. Indrid’s convinced the pelt is here somewhere, keeps saying our finding it is just on the edges of his visions. But I dunno. I think it’s gone for good.”

Fear clings to his heart, “Will you get sick if you never find it? Are, are you sick now, or in pain?”

“No. Selkies don’t die or get sick without their pelts. It’s more like...like a part of you is missing, with this ache where it’s supposed to be. Mine’s been gone so long I barely notice it anymore.”

Joseph sits up, frowning, “You’re lying.”

“...Yeah. Yeah I am. But what else can I do?”

“Let me help. I’m an investigative professional, I have been for years, and I can’t think of a better use for those skills than finding your coat. Than, than making you happy and whole.”

Barclay studies him a moment, then yanks him down into a kiss, whimpering when Joseph nips his lips and licks between them. 

“Now, big guy,” he brushes their noses together, “what does it look like?”

“It’s the same color as my hair, with a crescent scar at the base of the tail from where a shark bit me. God, Joseph, I hope you see it some day, if you think Indrid’s tail is beautiful, and it is, mine is fucking gorgeous…”

-----------------------------------------------------

“Joseph! How is my favorite connoisseur of cryptozoology today?”

“ I’m fine, Ned. And since I can see the dollar signs in your eyes from here yes, if you have new merchandise I would like to see it.”

Stationed on the highway at the edge of Kepler, the Cryptonomica is the kind of tourist trap Joseph can’t help but love. Even if the informational plaques contain miles of misinformation, it’s nice to be somewhere that doesn’t scoff at the supernatural or strange. 

As Ned rummages in the back, Joseph circles the room to arrive at his favorite display; Bigfoot, complete with a supposed “stuffed bigfoot” whose fur is so many different colors it looks like a patchwork quilt his grandmother kept on the couch. Not for the first time, he amuses himself with the observation that the back portion resembles Barclay’s hair. 

“Wait.” He says, loud enough that Ned’s assistant, Kirby, looks up from his desk.

“Something you need, Mr. Stern?” 

He kneels down, pulling his penlight from his jacket and peering at the creatures lower back.

“Yes. I need a knife, and I need it now.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Goodness!” Indrid yelps a moment before Joseph bursts through the door. 

“Barclay, Barclay look!” The researcher spins in a circle, searching for the cook.

“What is it, is everything okay?” He hurries out of the kitchen, then drops to his knees in shock, “it, it can’t be.”

“It is. Or, um, there’s a very strong chance it is. Look” He holds out the chestnut cloak, “the scar matches.”

“I, I, I-” Barclay grabs the pelt, holding it to his chest, “I must be dreaming.”

“There’s only one way to find out” Indrid grins as he pulls Duck up along with him, then tugs Barclay to his feet, “to the water!”

They’re moving so fast that Barclay only has a moment to swing the coat over his shoulders as he dives into the water, Joseph calling out to be careful. 

And then is heart thrums, whole for the first time in decades, as warm fur envelopes him. His second skin sings into his nerves, reunited with it’s home, and he let’s the transformation take it’s full form. When he leaps for joy out of the water, there’s not a human feature to be seen. 

Joseph cries out in triumph, Duck whooping out cheers along with him. There’s no sign of Indrid until he returns to the waves, at which point the most stunning silver seal twirls around him. The next time he rises from the water, he reverts to his half-form, savoring the sensation of moving it through the depths as Joseph and Duck wade in to join them. 

He pulls Joseph into a kiss, dipping him so his black hair fans out in the water, “You did it, babe.”

“I, I may as well quit all my other jobs, nothing else I accomplish in my life will compare to the look on your face right now.”

“Oh pet” Indrid smiles, “you’ve not seen anything yet. Did I say that right?”

“Close enough, sugar.”

“Come, dearest, I’ve been waiting for years to see if you can out-swim me.”

“You’re fucking on” Barclay kisses Joseph once more for good measure, “be right back.”

As he speeds through the water, Indrid keeping pace with him, he just makes out the conversation behind them. 

“You, uh, you know givin a selkie their pelt back is a marriage proposal, right?”

“Yes. But we can talk about that later, all four of us.”

[gregorygrim]

Dragon Prince Hot Takes

!!! Full Spoiler For “The Dragon Prince” Seasons 1-3!!!

So I finally got around to watching The Dragon Prince. Timely, I know, but better late than never i guess. I’m not completely caught up yet as I only got as far as S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” in this first sitting. Considering I haven’t binged any series in almost two years, I think that’s pretty respectable. This means I won’t discuss the last few episodes here, except for a couple of things I was unfortunately spoiled for already, hence full spoilers.

These are basically my first thoughts and opinions after the binge and a good night’s sleep. It’s gonna be a lot so if you don’t care or don’t want spoilers…

TL;DR: 7½/10. Generally enjoyable, there are some aspects I’m not exactly fan of, but no dealbreakers

Firstly to everyone who told me that this was the new ATLA: you all need to rewatch Avatar stat! Like seriously. There are definitely parallels and given the cast and crew I think that’s what they were going for too (which is why I think it’s fair to compare the two), but still, no.

Secondly I love most of the worldbuilding and love that the series at least tries to give it to us in a bit of a non-linear fashion, even if it is kind of clumsy at times. I know some people are put off by expository dialogue and flashbacks, but I’m an epic fantasy nerd, I need that sweet, sweet lore to live as much as you mortals need food.

I like that there was clearly an effort made to integrate the worldbuilding in more subtle ways. For example you may initially find it kind of weird that all these different human ethnicities are existing perfectly integrated in what looks like a medieval society, until you remember from the opening monologue that the Human Kingdoms are the result of a massive diaspora following the human exodus from Xadia, so obviously people got all mixed up everywhere. It’s representation with an excellent in-world reason and that just brings me joy.

I also love the magic system(s) even though we haven’t really gone into that just yet. it really feels like there was a genuine effort made to create underlying mechanics for the magic rather than just making each spell a vaguely elemental themed ability. I really hope we’ll dive deeper into that in coming seasons.

I also like the little nods to other works of fantasy: Ezran’s ability to talk with animals is a reference to Tolkien’s world where some royal bloodlines had the ability to speak with animals, specifically birds; Primal Magic and its spells being cast with Ancient Draconic runes and words might be reminiscent of the Ancient Language from the Inheritance Cycle etc.

Thirdly the main cast is great. Callum, Ezran and Rayla are all interesting and relatable characters in their own right and as a group. I’m not going into each of them individually here, but while I think the series as a whole falls short of ATLA, as protagonist parties go I dare say this one is nearly on nearly on par with the gAang.¹

And yes, I love Bait, which I really did not expect following the first few episodes. I love his weird pug-toad-chameleon design, I love that he works like a flashbang whenever somebody says a quote from Scarface (I wish they hadn’t dropped that later on) and I love how done he is with everything and everyone at all times. I’ve only had him for 25 episodes, but if anything happened to him I would kill all of my followers and then myself.

On top of that, and speaking as someone who god knows is really not into shipping, I love Rayla and Callum’s relationship. It’s believable, it’s refreshing and it brings out the best in both characters without changing basically anything about them. Just two good friends who fell in love. A++, maybe even S tier.

Unfortunately though I can’t sing the same kind of praises about the villains. None of them are terrible (as in terribly written, most of them are pretty awful people), but with one exception they just don’t stand up to the protagonists in quality.

I could simply not take Viren seriously. Even now that is probably the single most powerful magic user in the world, he just has such strong Karen energy, every time he finishes a speech I am overcome with the urge to say “Sir, this is a Wendy’s” and it does not help the mood. I’m not even sure why. It might’ve been the voice because the guy who did Viren (Jason Simpson) also does a lot of kinda slimy characters in various anime dubs, it might be that over-the-top walking stick, idk.

What I’m saying is that as a primary antagonist he simply did not work for me. Which is doubly a shame because this kind of tarnishes the real “Big Bad” of this story by proxy. Aaravos, even as an invisible ghost, with his voice coming out of a caterpillar and next to no info on his backstory, has more style and gravity than all the human antagonists combined. It helps that he is by far the best designed character and Erik Dellums has the voice of a young god, but I’d argue even without that unfair advantage he has the potential to be a top tier villain. While he is stuck as Viren’s “little bug-pal” though he is just being dragged down.

(I’m aware that as of the final episode the caterpillar familiar is undergoing metamorphosis, probably to create a new body for Aaravos’ spirit to inhabit outside of the magic mirror, so I’m definitely hyped for more of him in the coming seasons.)

As for Soren and Claudia, I’ve got mixed feelings. This was one more aspect of the show that a lot of people compared to Avatar and while I see the parallels to Zuko & Azula, they are still very different, at least where Claudia is concerned. I’d also just like to mention that a lot of people told me that they thought the direction in which their storylines went were really surprising and I can’t disagree more. I predicted that Soren would defect to the protagonists on episode 5 right after Viren told him to kill the princes and I knew Claudia was going to stick with her father from episode 12 onward. My point is, it didn’t feel like some kind of plot twist, the way some people made it out to be, and which I don’t think was the intent.

I definitely got the sense that Soren was at least a Zuko-type character, though still not a Zuko clone, and as with Zuko I was consistently able to empathise and sympathise with him and his predicaments. I also appreciated that his dilemma is the result of his convictions and not him being kind of dense, which would’ve been all to easy and probably would’ve ruined his character for me. As it stands he is extremely milktoast, but perfectly functional for his purpose in the story and I can definitely see him evolving further and getting more interesting as we go on.

Claudia is where it gets complicated. Again, I can see the Azula parallels. But unlike that character, who is her father’s animal 110%, Claudia doesn’t strike me as a victim of Viren’s manipulation the way Soren undoubtably is. The way she talks about and uses Dark Magic, how she talks down to Soren and how even Viren finds it difficult to communicate with her, tells me as an audience member that she is an independent person. Which tells me that the cruelty and enthusiasm for causing harm she regularly displays is her own will. And that was before she straight up leads Callum on to manipulate him.

On the other hand I can absolutely relate to her devotion to her family, her big sister role (even though she is younger than Soren) and the way both the separation of her parents before the story and Soren’s injury in episode 16 must’ve affected her because of this. I know that, if my brother had become paralysed from the neck down and I knew a way to heal him, I would not have hesitated to kill that fawn either. Then again her relationship with her father is very different from parental relationships I am familiar with, so I can’t really say I see why she is so devoted to him, other than she promised her mother to stay with him years ago? ¯\(o_Ō)/¯

So basically Claudia falls into an emotional grey space for me. I can’t really tell how to feel about her either way and I’ll just have to see where she goes from here, which, while fine, isn’t necessarily great for an end of season cliffhanger imo.

Seeing as I’ve already talked about some of the show’s shortcomings, I think it’s time to dive into some of the what I would consider flaws.

Firstly this show needed at least 12 episode seasons. I have never made a secret out of my dislike for the modern short seasons and while I recognise that in the current climate in the industry giving everything full 25 episode seasons isn’t really doable, the pacing of this show, especially for the first season is just outright bad at times. It works as of the second season, but the first season alternately feels like it’s either rushing through or crawling along the whole way through.

The believability of Rayla’s and the princes’ relationship really suffers from this the most. It comes a bit out of nowhere on the boat ride and is then taken for granted way to quickly. Like Callum, seriously, this girl tried to kill you and your brother not even a day ago and you are currently cut off from all allies you have ever had until now. A little skepticism isn’t misplaced here. I also wold’ve liked if we’d just gotten a bit more of a sense of movement with the characters. I get that this is not the kind of show where we can just make an entire episode about the characters travelling and camping, intercut with plots centred around a more expansive supporting cast, but still I really would’ve preferred if Xadia didn’t feel quite so around the corner.

Another issue is with setup and payoff, which I think is partially a consequence of the pacing as well. A lot of smaller plot points are set up within the same episode as the payoff just wreak havoc on the narrative structure. A good example is the episode where they ride down the river in a boat and Bait tires to go into the water, but is saved by Ezran, who then explains the story behind Glowtoads and how they are pefect bait for large water predators. Then Bait falls into the water and is attacked by a massive water monster. This happens within five minutes of one episode and never comes up again. To me that looks like sign of rushed editing, which is probably not entirely the crew’s fault, given that they are on a schedule from Netflix, but it’s still a point of critique.

It unfortunately also manifests in the occasional line of horribly forced dialogue, often for things we can literally see happening on screen. Again, this is mostly the case in the earlier episodes, but it never completely goes away.

Finally, and this is where i get into serious issues that made me want to write this, we gotta talk about representation in this show.

First: disabled representation, meaning Amaya. Why is Amaya deaf? Because it’s good to have disabled representation.

Why is Amaya deaf and a high-ranking military officer? Because they didn’t think it through.

I know this may be a contentious opinion, but it is my belief that the purpose of representation, particularly of disabilities characters may suffer from, in fiction is to, y’know, represent people as they are in life. That includes especially the struggles they face and have to overcome, sometimes their whole life. This is not just me talking out of my ass either. A couple years ago I discussed this with several people that are disabled, specifically blind or otherwise severely visually impaired, in a different context obviously, and the general consensus was that it’s better to have representation that shows their life and their abilities as they are, rather than how they might wish they could be.

A mute or deaf person cannot be a medieval fantasy army general, no matter how good they might be in melee combat or who’s sister they are, because at the end of the day, they’re not able to give commands while they are holding a sword and shield. That such a massive logical oversight, especially in comparison to the extremely well done example of representation I mentioned above, and has so little impact on the plot that it leads me to believe, this aspect of Amaya’s character was tacked on in the last minute without being given any thought for the sole reason of the story having a disabled person in it. All this does is necessitate the existence of two otherwise entirely unnecessary characters, Gren and Kazi, both of which achieve nothing, aside from sometimes being literal set dressing.

That is where representation ends and tokenism begins.

And unfortunately this generally lacklustre attitude also extends to the LGBT+ representation on the show.

As of S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” we have had two onscreen gay couples on the show (onscreen in the sense that both partners were onscreen and they were somehow confirmed to be in a relationship on the show). One of these, the queens of Duren, literally die in the same flashback they are introduced in, which incidentally also features them invading a foreign nation to poach a rare animal and subsequently starting the conflict at the series’ core. Not a great look.

Aside from serving as a tragic backstory for their daughter, the most impact they had on my viewing experience was that they made wonder how the fuck royal succession works in Duren. (People who know me are rolling their eyes right now because I’m bringing anarchism into this Dragon Prince review, but I’m telling you, this why fantasy monarchies aren’t compatible with LGBT+ politics in the same setting. Dynastic governments are inherently bigoted, you can’t have it both ways.)

The other couple are Runaan and Ethari, Rayla’s caretakers, although if I’m being honest you wouldn’t be able tell based on Runaan’s treatment of Rayla in the first episode. By the time we actually meet Ethari and find out about their relationship with Rayla, Runaan is suffering “a fate worse than death” (direct quote from the show) trapped in a gold coin.

I mean come on. That’s about as “technically not ‘bury your gays’” as it gets.

I think I need to reiterate here that my point is not that this show or its creators are somehow malicious. As i stated in the TL;DR: I don’t think this is a dealbreaker for liking this show. But it does demonstrate that they are prone to slipping to some potentially harmful tropes and this needs to be criticised and pointed out to them.

In conclusion, I really love this show. It’s not ATLA, it never will be, nothing else will ever be ATLA no matter how badly (and terribly) Netflix tries. But it does and should not have to be.

What it has to do though is improve. A lot of the building blocks are already there, such as Aaravos or Claudia’s development, Callum’s father, the origin of Ezran’s ability, the purpose of the “Key of Aaravos”, the true fate of King Harrow (we all know his soul is in the bird, right?) etc. Some things like the treatment of Amaya’s disability unfortunately won’t be fixable as far as I can tell, but if they at least manage to fix the gay representation I can make my peace with that.

¹ I know I said I wouldn’t go into each of the characters individually, but a) you should never trust a stranger on the internet and b) I really want to talk a bit about Callum. Specifically the “mystery” of why the hell he is connected to the Sky Primal. I write “mystery” because I think it’s fairly obvious from whence this talent came: there is only one humanoid species we know of with innate access to the Sky Arcanum and one of Callum’s parent’s is unidentified, presumed dead. 2+2=4. Callum’s father was a Skywing Elf. That’s why he recognised Nyx’s boomerang weapon. He remembered one like it either from his very early childhood (remember that he has photographic memory) or Sarai kept one and he found it at some point.

On top of that the name “Callum” or at least the pronunciation is clearly derived from Latin “caelum” meaning “sky” or “weather” and I already mentioned that Ancient Draconic is just bad Latin. It’s not very subtle. Unless they pull a complete 180 concerning the lore about Primal Magic he’s definitely going to be a half-elf, which would also just so happen to make him the perfect mediator between the Human Kingdoms and Xadia. Hmm, it’s almost as if they are planning ahead.

My question: How the fuck did that happen? Or rather: how did that fuck happen? I don’t think even Harrow knew or he probably would’ve a) paid more attention when Sarai advised against poaching the Magma Titan, because obviously she’s gotten around Xadia more than him, if y’know what i’m sayin’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) or at least b) put it in his final letter to Callum. Unfortunately we know basically nothing about Sarai except that she was a soldier alongside Amaya and already had Callum before marrying Harrow. So does Amaya know? This is probably the most interesting plot thread in the whole story and as far as my friends told me it’s not going to be touched on anymore in the last two episodes than it already has thus far, which is basically not at all.

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you are a mermaid and you save a handsome man from drowning but little do you know it’s not his first rodeo when dealing with mermaids. seonghwa, a former prince, is currently hongjoong’s first mate and boyfriend. hongjoong is the captain, the pirate king of the most savage crew across the seas. and you want nothing to do with them. not because they’re pirates, but because they’re humans…

ship: mermaid!reader x prince/pirate!seonghwa x pirate!hongjoong

genre: little mermaid!au, pirate!au, romance, ANGST, fantasy

warnings: suicide mentions, murder mentions (rip ariel), depression, panic attack, threats, someone loses a hand (bc let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be a pirate story without hooks), manipulation, betrayal, kidnapping

author’s note: mingi has a cameo, i made him a huge asshole (so sorry, irl mingi), just a reminder that everything i write is completely fictional! mingi is a a total sweetheart, i just needed a villain for the story to develop lmao

word count: 3k

chapter one ☠️ chapter two ☠️ chapter three ☠️ chapter four ☠️ chapter five ☠️ chapter seven ☠️ chapter eight  ☠️chapter nine ☠️ chapter ten ☠️ chapter eleven ☠️ chapter twelve ☠️ chapter thirteen☠️ spotify playlist

You finally felt ready enough to face Seonghwa and let him explain himself. It was only fair, after all. You couldn’t take Hongjoong’s word for it, considering how he felt about you. You had to hear Seonghwa’s side of the story in order to make a proper decision. So, when you swam back to the ship all by yourself (because you didn’t want to deal with Soojin’s cheerful remarks right now), you were happy that Hongjoong wasn’t anywhere to be seen. You assumed he would drown you himself if given the chance. Luckily, you saw Yeosang nearby.

“Yeo!” you whisper-yelled. “Can you call Seonghwa for me?”

“Y/N!” Yeosang seemed surprised to see you. “I’ll get him for you rightaway.”

“Great, thanks!”

“Are you…okay?” he was obviously concerned.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you lied, because you didn’t feel like getting into it in front of Yeosang.

“Just asking,” Yeosang replied vaguely and went to call Seonghwa.

Soon enough, you were faced with him. It had only been a week of no contact with the gorgeous man and you felt like you had missed him for an eternity. You quickly reminded yourself of the reason you’d come here. You couldn’t go easy on him.

“I need to talk to you,” you stated directly.

“I understand,” Seonghwa sighed. “What about?”

“You know what,” you observed. Judging by how guilty his pretty face looked, he knew very well. And he’d spent many sleepless nights considering it. Serves him right, you thought.

“Do you want me to deny it? Because I can’t,” Seonghwa’s voice broke. “It’s true. I knew Ariel and loved her and she died because of that. You have every right to hate me. What more can I say?”

You looked away, overwhelmed by the painful realization Hongjoong had been telling the truth. But he’d left something out, you knew it.

“Tell me the whole story,” you insisted. “You didn’t kill Ariel yourself, right?”

“Of course not!” Seonghwa cried out.

“Then give me a reason to forgive you for keeping this a secret!” you continued. You couldn’t imagine Seonghwa to be the bad guy. You just couldn’t.

“The local tales have got it all wrong,” Hwa admitted. “I was going to marry Ariel, I didn’t give a shit about that princess my parents were trying to set me up with. See, the thing is…they just couldn’t let me be happy. They bribed the sea witch into turning Ariel into sea foam. When I found out, I was so heartbroken I considering ending my own life. But I had to avenge her death, first. So, I tricked the witch into transforming her body into an exact replica of mine. Her greed was so big she really thought I was just going to hand her my kingdom on a plate. After she was done with the magic, I killed her. I made sure my parents would find the body, because I wanted them to suffer for what they’d done to Ariel. By the time I was done executing my revenge, I didn’t want to die. I knew I had to keep living. For her.”

Your eyes were welled up with tears. Seonghwa’s story was completely devastating. And looking at him now…you knew that was the whole truth. You couldn’t have it any other way. But you also couldn’t bear staying. Not yet, at least.

“Seonghwa…I appreciate you telling me all this,” you murmured. “But I’m going to need some time alone, okay? I loved Ariel, too, you know? And this is just…a lot to take in, yeah?”

Seonghwa nodded sadly.

“I’m going to respect your decision. If you want to talk again, you know where to find me, right?”

“Right. Take care, Seonghwa,” you closed your eyes and sniffed lightly.

“You too, Y/N.”

“And…Seonghwa?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

And with that, you swam away.

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa’s POV

This shit hurt like hell. I thought my heart had been at its limit when I found out Ariel had been turned into sea foam. Or when I realized Hongjoong had betrayed my trust. I didn’t think it could take any more heartbreak. But here it was. Still beating despite everything I’d been through. I remembered the time I’d wanted to kill myself. Put an end to all my suffering. I felt that wish slowly returning to me. But I couldn’t imagine inflicting such pain on Y/N or my crewmates. Not even Hongjoong…Because even though he stabbed me in the back, I still cared for him deeply. I also thought about Y/N’s last words to me. She didn’t hate me. Despite all I’d had done, she couldn’t hate me. I kept repeating that to myself. She just needed some time to figure things out for herself. If she could potentially forgive me…why couldn’t I forgive myself?

“Hyung, your hands are shaking!” Yeosang interrupted my distressing thoughts all of a sudden. He grabbed them tightly. “Just, breathe, okay?”

I tried to do as he said. But I felt so numb. So weak. So…alone.

“Everything will be fine, hyung, I’m here,” Yeosang kept repeating until my hands stopped shaking. Then, he held me while I fell asleep without saying a word. I was too weak to even open my mouth. What had become of me? I needed to pull myself together.

☠️☠️☠️

In the morning, I couldn’t find Yeosang in the room. I was just about to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I was feeling a lot better and wanted to cook him some chicken to show my gratitude. When I came out of the room, I asked Wooyoung and San if they had seen him, but they said they hadn’t, which was slightly troubling. Me and Hongjoong still weren’t on speaking terms, so I didn’t bother looking for him. I would find Sangie myself. After an hour, I had searched the whole ship. And there was no trace of Yeosang. Which was extremely distressing. Where could he have gone? Without telling anyone? Not me, not even his best friend Wooyoung. Well, desperate times called for desperate measures. So, I found myself forced to reach out to Hongjoong.

“Have you seen Yeosang?” I asked him without even knocking on his door.

“Oh, so now you want to talk to me?” Hongjoong scoffed.

“I don’t want to,” I groaned. “But I’m worried about him. No one’s heard from him for the past hour. I couldn’t find him anywhere. It’s weird.”

Hongjoong put a hand on his forehead in a tired but unsurprised manner. He obviously knew something I didn’t.

“Hongjoong, where is he?”

“Set the course for Mingi’s territory, I’ll explain everything once we get Yeosang back.”

“WHAT?” I yelled, completely terrified for Yeosang’s life. “WHAT WOULD YEOSANG BE DOING IN MINGI’S TERRITORY?”

☠️☠️☠️

Yeosang’s POV

In retrospect, coming here on my own was a very bad idea. But when I woke up in the middle of the night found a note next to my pillow, saying “Come alone if you don’t want your friends to get hurt,” signed with Mingi’s name, I just couldn’t refuse the challenge. I thought I could take him down once and for all. After he’d sold us out for more treasures and a bigger ship, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of him. But I had overestimated my abilities.

“Where is my ring, Kang?” Mingi roared angrily the minute I set foot on his ship.

“What ring?” I played dumb and gave him the most innocent smile I was capable of.

“The ring you stole from me, you bastard!” Mingi hissed. “Fight with me again. Winner keeps the ring.”

“I don’t have your ring,” I admitted. How could I? I had given it to Soojin…But I would never tell Mingi that. I couldn’t risk him going after my sweet angel.

“You lost it?” Mingi screamed in frustration.

“Whatcha gonna do if I did?” I smirked mischievously. I shouldn’t have asked, damnit. Shouldn’t have provoked him.

Mingi lunged at me with his sword. I pulled out mine quickly and fought back. But fuck me, he was faster and more skilled than the last time I’d faced him. He’d been working out, too. Why did I come here again? Ah, yes, thinking it would be noble to sacrifice myself. As long as my friends were safe, right? Well, guess what, dumbass. If I died, what’s the guarantee Mingi wouldn’t come after my friends, anyways? I fought him as hard as I could but I was so tired…I hadn’t been sleeping much the last coupled of days, because I was too busy comforting Seonghwa and making sure he wasn’t going to do something stupid to himself. And now, all these sleepless nights were taking their toll on my sword performance. One moment of distraction and I would be dead. Mingi could spot my frailness and took advantage of it. So far I was managing to give as good as I get. But I knew this couldn’t last forever. I had come totally unprepared for a fight. When Mingi cut off my right hand, I could barely register what had happened. I just stared at my bleeding arm and the limp hand lying on the ground. Mingi was staring, too. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done.

“Fuck!” I screamed in pain and no sooner had I said that than Hongjoong and Seonghwa appeared from out of nowhere and attacked Mingi’s ship with guns blazing. Thank God. Then, I passed out.

☠️☠️☠️

Hongjoong’s POV

“Shh, let him rest,” I whispered to Wooyoung who was being way too loud once we had safely returned to our own ship. Recap: we took Mingi by surprise, which is why we were lucky enough to succeed in disarming him and snatch poor Yeosang away from him. Mingi had not expected us to find him so quickly but the thing is, I knew him all too well. So, locating him hadn’t been difficult. It was watching the consequences of my mistakes that was hard. Because of my softness, Yeosang had lost his hand…If only I had killed Mingi when I’d had the chance. But he used to be one of us. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. We’d almost gotten executed by the army for being pirates because of his betrayal. And for what? More treasures? A bigger ship? Insignificant things when compared to having a purpose in life, having a family. But who was I to judge him? After all, I had been guilty of treason myself. The way I hurt Seonghwa…I could never forgive myself, even if he, by some miracle, did. I was such an incorrigible asshole.

“What happened?” I heard Yeosang’s weak voice pull me out of my self-deprecating thoughts.

“Well, for starters, you lost a hand,” I informed Yeosang, thought I doubted my input would be of much help.

“I can see that, jackass,” Yeosang rolled his eyes. “How did you get me out in time? How did you beat Mingi?”

“We were just lucky, that’s all,” I lied. I was doing an awful lot of that recently. Yeosang didn’t have to know what I’d given up in order to get there on time. It would break him. And he had already been through hell.

Yeosang narrowed his stare in suspicion, but didn’t push it.

“Where is Seonghwa?”

“He’s resting,” Wooyoung responded. “You should, too, pal, you look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Yeosang groaned sarcastically.

“Listen, Sangie…I know you probably don’t want to hear any of that right now, but this is just a reminder that we’re here for you. And this isn’t the end. You can always learn how to use a sword with your left hand and…”

“You’re right, Cap,” Yeosang cut me off. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

I nodded in understanding.

“Get some sleep, yeah? We’ll talk again…once you’re ready.”

Wooyoung gave his best friend a supportive squeeze of the arm and we left Yeosang to his own devices. He’d be okay. He was a strong one. But me? I was way past saving…

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa’s POV

“You promised you’d explain everything once we get Yeosang back,” I grabbed Hongjoong by the collar of his shirt. “We got him back. How did you know he would be on Mingi’s ship? And how on earth did you make the ship move so fast?”

Hongjoong closed his eyes to hide himself from me. But I wasn’t going to let him. He would tell me the truth or he would have to say goodbye to me. For good.

“Seonghwa…”

“No, Hongjoong. You will tell me everything right now or I’m walking out of here, you hear me?”

Hongjoong opened his eyes, fear evident in them.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“At the beginning.”

“But you have to listen without saying a word. Telling you all this is going to be quite difficult for me. If you have any questions, ask me after I’m done. Can you do that for me?”

I nodded.

“So…you know how Yeosang stole this really pretty ring from Mingi back when he betrayed us? But what you don’t know is that this ring was the only thing Mingi had left from his lover. Now, I don’t know her identity but whoever she was, she meant the world to Mingi. See, the problem is…Yeosang gave that ring to Soojin. And I somehow…suspected that Mingi would find out the ring was missing. That he would come looking for the ring. And I was right. It’s just a miracle we got there on time.”

I tilted my head slightly. Something didn’t add up. I didn’t trust Hongjoong’s bullshit explanation. He was keeping something from me. Again.

“You suspected it? A miracle? Do you take me for a fool, Hongjoong? What are you not telling me?”

Hongjoong bit his lower lip as if it to keep his precious secrets from spilling.

“Mingi’s lover was the sea witch you killed. The same who turned Ariel into sea foam.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I hissed angrily.

“I wish I was. A couple of hours ago when we were on his ship, Mingi confronted me about it. He said he knew she wouldn’t just disappear from him without a trace. I told him she was dead. I’d buried her body. Well, your body. ”

“Hongjoong…” I clenched my fists and gave him a warning look that was self-explanatory.

“I didn’t tell him you killed her, of course,” Hongjoong replied quickly. “But I did tell him it was mermaids who killed her,” he announced proudly. What the fuck?

“You didn’t…” I said in vain, even though I already knew he did. He was that big of a dumbass. “What if he comes after Y/N? After Soojin? They’re innocent, Hongjoong! How could you involve them like this?”

“Was I supposed to let Mingi come after you? We barely escaped him...”

I shook my head in disappointment. He was insane. Then, it hit me. He was still hiding something. Something bigger.

“How did we get there so fast?”

Hongjoong gulped nervously.

“Don’t make me…” he begged.

“Make you?” I laughed maniacally. “You dug your own grave, sweetheart.”

Hongjoong flinched as if I’d struck him. Had I gone too far? Maybe. But he started it.

“I won’t tell you,” he was adamant about it. “I’ll tell you anything else but not this.”

“Then, we’re done here,” I turned around and started walking away.

“No, Hwa, please,” Hongjoong begged and tried to take my hand but I shrugged him off.

“You don’t get to keep things like that from me, to betray my trust again and again, and then ask me to stay,” I whispered.

🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

Reader’s POV

“How long will it take you to forgive Seonghwa?” Soojin sighed, exasperated.

“What’s it to you? You can go see your precious boyfriend whenever you want,” you snapped at your sister.

“Yeah, but it’s way more fun when we go to our pirates together!” Soojin explained.

You laughed sarcastically.

“Since when are they our pirates? They are humans, Soojin, not property!”

“Okay, okay,” Soojin lifted her arms in the air, surrendering. “But seriously…we should go talk to them again. I have a bad feeling…I don’t know how to explain it, I just…I’m worried about Yeosang. Please?”

You agreed reluctantly.

“But if everything’s alright, I’m going back here,” you announced.

Soojin nodded excitedly. The two of you swam up. Once you reached the surface, you realized Soojin had picked an awful time to check up on Yeosang. It was too dark. And as you approached the ship, you were overwhelmed by a gnawing sensation. Soojin had been right. Something was awfully wrong. The ship seemed exactly like Hongjoong’s…And yet, there was something strange you couldn’t quite place. Did it look bigger at night? How was this possible? You had seen it at night when you’d saved Seonghwa from drowning…And it did not look like this. Had your memories deceived you? You could tell this was certainly a pirate ship. But why were you doubting it was the pirate ship you’d been looking for? What were the odds to run into other pirates in the middle of the night? You were fairly certain you could recognize Hongjoong’s ship anywhere. And yet…

“Yeosang!” Soojin started screaming mournfully. “Where are you?” You could tell by her voice that she was worried sick about her pirate boyfriend. And for a good reason.

“Shh,” you pressed your hand against your sister’s mouth. “Quiet. Something’s not right.”

She blinked at you in confusion.

“What do you mean?” she mouthed.

“I don’t know,” you mouthed back. “But before we found out, can you keep it down?”

Soojin nodded, obviously trusting your judgement. She was uncharacteristically anxious, too. Instead of her usual cheerful self, she was being very jumpy.

“Listen…let’s come back here when it’s daylight, okay?” you suggested. “I’m sure Yeosang will be fine.”

“Just let me try calling his name one more time, yeah?” Soojin murmured hopefully.

“Soojin, no!” you tried to stop her but it was already too late.

“YEOSANG!” Soojin cried out.

It was in that moment the fishnets fell upon you.

To be continued…

[vickyskpopkingdom]

ATEEZ - From The Wonderland pt.2

i present to you part 2 of my story based on ATEEZ performance on Kingdom: Legendary War.

you can check out all performances on youtube! (mnet even has a playlist for everything kingdom related on their channel) but of course you should enjoy this story first ;)

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3

warnings: fighting, mention of weapons

2.1k words

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And with this they started walking deeper into the forest. They were kind of speed-walking and Yeosang did his best to keep up with his friends but he could feel their looks on him from time to time as if they were constantly checking in on him. While he appreciated their concern it also made him feel angry, frustrated and helpless. He was fine. He had told them that. Right now his small injury shouldn't be the priority. Finding Wooyung and Hongjoong was much more important than his hurt foot.

Yeosang feared however that if he was to say something it might make Seonghwa feel even more irritated than he already was. With Hongjoong leaving for Wooyoung Seonghwa was the one in command right now. He was always good at keeping them all at bay when they were getting too hot-headed again but strategy was not his strong suit. And besides after all these years Yeosang had noticed that Seonghwa always felt responsible if something happened to one of them. He suppressed a heavy sigh.

If only he didn't get injured by these stupid skeletons! They would have been way faster now. There could be happening god knows what to his friends while he was handicapped.

"Maybe I should-", Yeosang began to say but he was quickly shut down by Yunho heavily shaking his head.

"Don't even think about it, Yeosang. We are going to stay together."

"But you would be faster if-"

This time it was Seonghwa who shut Yeosang's argument down: "Besides the fact that we would never leave you behind, I think we arrived at their hideout already."

Following the direction in which Seonghwa's finger pointed the others could see how the forest suddenly cleared onto a glade, creating the seemingly only brightly lit spot on the whole island. But their path wouldn't end on this nice place. Instead Yeosang caught sight of the giant mountain towering over them. It's insides hidden by darkness but easily accessible through the mouth of a cave, opening up right in front of them.

"How did we not see this huge ass mountain from the ship?", Jongho questioned.

"No clue", San answered, equally as surprised as the rest of them, "but on the other hand shouldn't we expect stuff like this after getting attacked by a bunch of literal skeletons?"

"Touché."

Seonghwa was the first to start walking into the depths of the cave but the others followed behind him quickly. Inside of the cave they felt even more weighed down by the darkness. Whereas the trees in the forest gave them somewhat of a secure feeling as there were some color variations the cold stone walls of the cave gave no such feeling. Instead everything felt lifeless, alone and abandoned.

"Be careful of where you are stepping", Seonghwa reminded them, "We can't know for sure if those skeletons are smart enough to think of traps."

But a few minutes of walking later they realized that potential traps were not their biggest problem. The path they had been following ended at a fork in the road. One part of the way lead to the left direction the other to the right.

"Well, shit", Yunho commented, rightfully so. There was no trace, no clue around that could help them figure put which way had been used by skeletons and subsequently Wooyoung and Hongjoong. Seonghwa started to chew on his bottom lip as he tried to think of a plan, while San just stared into the dark paths ahead of them as if his gaze alone could figure out where his friends were. Yeosang was thinking hard as well. They had to make a decision and they had to make it fast. They already had lost enough time back in the forest because of their enemies, San's and Seonghwa's bickering as well as his stupid injury.

"Its time to split up, guys", he suggested.

"Yeosang, we-", whatever Seonghwa had been wanting to say was cut short by the same screeching sound they had heard earlier. This time however it sounded like it was much closer to them. And it clearly resonated through the left side of the tunnel.

"At least we now know where the Kraken is and which tunnel we should not take", Jongho said with a grave voice. None of them wanted to meet the monster but if the rumor they had heard before was true, it was the final boss to fight to get to the treasure.

"Maybe the Kraken-Thing and the skeletons from earlier are working together?", Yunho asked, "Just because that thing is left doesn't mean Wooyoung and Hongjoong are right."

This time Yeosang couldn't suppress his sigh. Maybe the thought of a treasure like the 'Symphony' had lulled their minds. Or maybe their recent victories had led them to believe that they were invincible which clearly they weren't. Whatever it had been that convinced them that they were ready for this island, it was not true. By now he really wished they would have stayed home.

"Fine, let's split up", Seonghwa finally said.

All eyes landed on him. Yeosang nodded in agreement, while San's eyes widened in shock at this suggestion. "Are you sure? I don't think that's a good idea..."

Seonghwa scoffed. "Coming from someone who wanted to run off into the woods all by himself?"

His gaze turned soft however as he took in the sight of his crewmates. No matter what dumb things they may do he would always want to protect them and he could never stay mad at them. They may get on his nerves but he would do everything in his power to make sure that they all were able to come back to the ship.

"Yeosang was right to suggest it", Seonghwa started to explain, "We can cover the grounds here way faster if we move in groups. I'm not exactly happy about it either but all of you are strong enough to fight on your own as well as together."

If the situation would have been a different one the younger ones would have started teasing Seonghwa for his sappy confession but right now they only smiled. Alongside Hongjoong Seonghwa had been the one to teach them how to fight, how to use their surroundings to their advantage and if he said that they would be fine on their own they believed him.

"Since currently only Yunho and I have weapons we're going to lead the two groups. San and Jongho you go to the right with Yunho. Yeosang you come with me to meet the Kraken."

Yeosang nodded. Seonghwa wanted them to go together because he was inured. Because he was basically useless right now and would be only a burden to Yunho, San and Jongho, who were all pretty fast and strong. Of course he understood this however he couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed.

"I'm going to need someone with your level of wit to fight a literal monster", Seonghwa suddenly said, breaking Yeosang's train of thought, "I have the weapon, you have the brain."

"Whatever", Yeosang answered, turning his head away form his friends in an attempt to hide the small blush creeping onto his cheeks from this compliment. He failed miserably at this, making his crewmates let out small chuckles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If he were to be honest with himself Seonghwa would admit that his mind was anywhere but the potential meeting with the Kraken right now. He had been the one to make the decision on splitting up so if anything was to happen to the other three currently walking through the other tunnel Seonghwa could never forgive himself. But on the other hand he was equally as worried about the whereabouts of Wooyoung and Hongjoong. So far there had been no sign of anything living or dead in their side of the tunnel. The Kraken didn't make another sound. Seonghwa was nervous.

He only got pulled back into reality as Yeosang forcefully grabbed his arm and held him back. "I can hear footsteps that are not ours", the younger one informed him.

How did he not notice that himself? The tunnel had been quiet at their first entrance but after they continued on their way now Seonghwa noticed the weird echo coming from further inside the tunnel as well. Yeosang had been right, those were not the sounds their own steps made.

The two of them shot a quick glance in each others direction before picking up their walking speed. Whatever laid waiting in front of them seemed to be unaware of their presence yet. It was their chance to attack from behind. Maybe they were even coming into contact with the group of skeletons that had kidnapped Wooyoung.

They turned their last corner and were greeted by a huge dome inside of the mountain. Here the dark stone walls were lit up by torches, their light reflecting in a large pool of water at the back end of the dome. This time Yeosang didn't have to grab Seonghwa's arm to get his attention. They both had seen the exact same thing at the exact same time: Wooyoung.

Their friend had been forcefully dragged into the middle of the dome and pushed on the cold, hard floor where he now sat on his knees, his head hanging low. The skeletons surrounded him, sometimes lightly pushing him, grabbing at him from time to time as if they were making sure he was still alive. Both Yeosang and Seonghwa were almost unable to bear the sight of their friend like this. If there was one person they had never seen so devastated it was Wooyoung.

"I can't see Hongjoong anywhere", Seomghwa noticed as he looked around a little more.

"He's probably hiding somewhere and waits for the right moment", Yeosang answered, considering the possibilities they had.

"Then should we give him an opening?"

Yeosang looked over to Seonghwa who grinned at him.  "And how would we do that?"

"Just a little distraction by fighting these skeletons."

Seonghwa turned to look at Yeosang completely, still smiling but worry showing in his eyes. "Only if you are able to of course."

Yeosang couldn't help but to scoff. "I'm fine we can--"

For the third time today their conversation was cut short by the Kraken screaming with his terrifying voice. This time however the sound was even more close. Seonghwa could feel goosebumps crawling up his spine all the way to his neck. It felt as if even the hair on his head was standing up as a reaction. They could see how Wooyoung froze completely as well. What gained their attention though was how the skeletons let go of their friend and faced the water on the other end. The only thing moving was the fire of the torches as the surface of the water started to ripple.

"No way...", Yeosang whispered as a giant tentacle made its way through the water, followed by another then another. Just as those three laid down on the stone floor, seemingly gripping at the edges of the pool a giant kraken-head followed. Two huge eyes scanned the area as water dripped down from the round, red colored head back into the pool. Another screech resonated through the dome. The skeletons started moving again, now dragging Wooyoung towards the monster that just had surfaced from the deep waters.

There was no time to talk about strategy anymore but Yeosang and Seonghwa moved as if they had a fully laid out plan. Their sudden movement attracted the attention of quite a few skeletons standing close to Wooyoung. Immediately they were running towards the two intruders, ready to pick up the fight where they had previously left it off back in the forest. What they didn't expect however was the sheer grimness the two pirates now felt as their friend was in immediate danger. In their first fight Seonghwa and Yeosang had been caught off-guard by their unusual enemies, this time they were ready. And they were angry.

"You said you were fine?", Seonghwa pressed out between breaking bones.

"And i still am"; Yeosang shot back, breathing a little more heavy than before.

Seonghwa's arm snaked around his waist. For a split second Yeosang was surprised by this sudden action but he figured out what Seonghwa wanted to do in no time. With a few steps of start-up Yeosang pushed himself off of the ground and kicked four skeleton-heads off of their respective bodies, sending them flying as his friend supported him by lifting him up a little more. This entrance finally distracted even more skeletons and made them stop dragging Wooyoung.

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sorry about those weird endings lmao i suck at making different parts.

as i said last time: mingi is not included because he wasn't part of the performance and i think it's too hard to write another character into the storyline.

check out kingdom & then come back for part 3 of this story <3

[godwithwethands]

lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn: 

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 

5. Sam’s kindness 

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔

Miscellaneous: 

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/

[bluespiderlilies]

Pillars x Modern reader? Please if it alright with you

hi!! i was going to say no tbh bc my rules say only two charas max but,, i'll let it slide i guess lmao 

modern! pillars x reader!hcs: 

himejima gyoumei:

okay so like,, in a modern au i like to imagine that gyoumei would be a sculptor hehe (yes, i know, not v original).

and you a painter!! 

and like,, the two of you are secret admirers of one another 

like he would often see you at the art gallery he frequents just staring at his sculptures & just,,, looking at them w pure awe?

 which he finds so heartwarming & makes him super motivated & happy in what he does!! 

and at art auctions when he buys your paintings? you feel like fainting from happiness bc the guy you admire so much BUYS YOUR PAINTINGS?!?! 

so then one day the two of you just,, bumped into each other coincidentally while at the art gallery the two of you go to often

the two of you chat comfortably before asking for one another's numbers & discuss about a potential coffee date!! 

and so, after that & a couple more dates, the two of you became official!!

iguro obanai:

hmm i feel like snek boi would be a tattoo artist 

you a florist (FUCK i hate my unoriginal ideas) 

your shops are right beside each other's haha

you sometimes talked but it was only about small awkward things like the weather BYE

but then one day you got locked out of your shop oops

so you,, sort of stayed w/ obanai in his shop until the person you called to help came

 which he didn't mind at all btw

surprisingly, the two of you got along really well? not to mention you guys liked a lot of the same things & had similar hobbies??

 from then on the two of you were kinda Whipped™™™™™ for each other lmaoo,, you often went to each other's shops when you guys didn't have any customers/had a slow day 

so then you decided to confess and!! he accepted your feelings & said he felt the same way!! (screams) & ever since then the two of you began to date uwu

rengoku kyoujurou:

okay so kyoujurou in the kimetsu academy au is a history teacher, right? 

and you are the english teacher!! 

honestly the entire school love the two of you so much

 and they even ship the two of you super hard\ but!! the thing is? the two of you are already dating, haha~ the students just don't know that yet

so it's hella amusing when the two of you witness them trying to set the two of you up with one another 

so you and kyoujurou had a mutual agreement to just act innocent and go along w what they do (which the students totally fall for)

until one day you accidentally let it slip (whoops) 

"hi guys, sorry for being late, kyoujurou won't be here today 'cause he's sick and i had to take care of him for a bit—oops did i just spill everything?"

 from then on the entire school knew the two of you were dating (and thank god, bc now you guys could be affectionate in public lmaoooo)

tokitou muichirou:

muichirou would be like that quiet, asocial first year *wheeze*

& like...there's tons of rumors of him being rude n closed off to others that try to be friends w him

n you're like!! haha!! fuck those rumors i want to be friends w him!! (plus he's cute wink wink) 

so, you try to approach him by sitting in front of his desk during lunch, or talk to him front time to time in your close (surprise!! the two of you are in the same class) 

he ignores you tbh & even tries to push you away,,, but you're super persistent (in an annoyingly,, cute way?) 

but like one day, you're absent from class two days in a row, and he's like,, fuck?? is it my fault??? did i do something to them?? is (name) not here bc of me?? i miss (name) surprisingly a lot and idk why???

and like for the two days he feels like he's fuckin hallucinating or some shit bc he always turns his head to the direction he expects you to be, or like hears your voice even if you're not there? 

but then you came after those two days, and he immediately comes up to you and questions you as to why you were absent 

you just laugh and smile, telling him that you were sick (& tease him too) which he gets really flustered at and even blushes bc he missed you a lot bye 

so then he confesses to you, and tells you that even if it was two days, it felt like forever and he just really missed you and wanted you to be by his side?? and you found that hella cute (also bc of his blushing face) so like uh,, ever since then the two of you started to date

tomioka giyuu:

kimetsu academy au where he's the gym teacher (duh it's canon) & ur the assistant nurse of tamayo uwu

you often supervise whenever giyuu has a class bc you know how rough he can be,, so you're just there in case anything happens

 cue the students being in love w you bc you're the literal opposite of giyuu

cue the students lowkey shipping the two of you too (& the two of you are HELLA oblivious about about, too) 

you like to chat w him sometimes, even if you're the one who's doing most of the talking

despite his rough nature you actually find him really cute and like??? attractive 

and giyuu?? is naturally attracted to you too?? but then one day a student fight breaks out and while giyuu tries to stop it he ends up getting injured

so you, of course, treat him the best you can—tending to the bruises on his face & the cuts on his arms & legs,, and like your touch is so fucking good and gentle and like??? bitch is about to melt too

he ends up telling you that he likes you,, and you're shocked bc omg?? the guy i like just confessed & asked me out (btw u said yes haha)

uzui tengen:

aight so spy!au where he is sent to spy on you bc you're under suspicion working under an illegal organization (wait this counts as a modern au right? yeah anyways,,) 

he moves in to the apartment right across from you as your new "neighbor" 

he also works as the cashier at the bakery you work at too!!

 bc of that, naturally, the two of you got close

you thought he was v attractive and funny lmao,, you especially found his "flamboyant" catch phrase hella endearing too 

and tengen was like: fUCK NO I CANT FALL IN LOVE W YOU YOU'RE MY MISSION!! 

yeah right lmao bc he did end up falling in love w you. so he even asked you out (which ofc you said yes?? like bro tengen is literally the person of you're dreams) 

but he reminded himself that he still had a mission to do, so he used it the fact that the two of you were dating to his advantage to find more about you (aka snooping) 

you didn't really mind that + the fact that he asked lots of questions about you

but once he found out that you were completely clear, he was?? highkey happy and relieved, so he could date you comfortably without being paranoid lmao

kanroji mitsuri:

idol! mitsuri and manager! reader au hehe 

honestly you have been w mitsuri ever since she debuted

you watched her grow as both a singer and as a person—you saw all the sides of her personality, habits, flaws, etc; which honestly? made you fall in love w her 

however, you kept your feelings a secret bc you didn't want anybody to find out plus ruin mitsuri's reputation?

like okay you get fired but you don't want to hurt mitsuri or the years of hard work to be destroyed 

but it's so fuckin hard you know? bc she's super affectionate w you, and you're over here trying to keep your feelings in? 

so eventually you just,,, confess to her—all the feelings you had pent up just finally spill out

unexpectedly?? she says she feels the same way?? but she's been in love w you ever since she first laid eyes on you?? 

so lmao you keep your relationship a secret, even from the agency you work at lmao 

despite the hardships that you guys often face, you get through them together and the two of you couldn't be anymore happier w one another??

kochou shinobu: 

roommates au in which the two of you are college students 

shinobu a pharmacology major & you in toxicology!!

bc of you living together and even sharing some classes, the two of you spend a lot of time w each other 

you guys have plenty of study dates too haha 

and cute stuff like night outs or movies nights!!! 

honestly the more time you spend w her, the more time you?? fall in love shinobu. like. head over heels for her. 

and shinobu's like??? I FEEL REALLY NICE AND FUZZY AROUND YOU (in her brain, though) 

so the two of you end up confessing at the same time during movie night bc the movie reminded the two of you of each other a lot?? uh?? 

when the two of you realize what you said two each other, the two of you laugh it off and just? begin dating 

nothing really changes tbh!! just more affection, dates, spending time w each other, and being more intimate ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shinazugawa sanemi:

bodyguard au :D in which sanemi is your newly appointed bodyguard and you're a millionaire that needs to be protected 

honestly he thought you'd be snobby as fuck considering that's how rich people usually are in his eyes

 but?? you're really freakin chill and cool?? not like he'd admit that aloud lmaoo

you like to tease him a lot bc he's so uptight w you, but apologize & give him ohagi (which he really fuckin loves?? Uh??)

you always try to convince him to play video games w you lmaoo esp mario kart (he declines though *eyeroll emoji*)

since he's almost always serious around you, when you find him tending to your dogs and being so soft around them you're like?? fuck?? my heart?? 

so basically the two of u dumbasses have feelings for each other but are oblivious + don't want to confess,,, like the more time you spend w one another the more you fall in love?

and he absolutely just,, loves it when you visit orphanages and help w the kids and the way you treat them is so sweet? 

yeah. he's so in love. 

but it wasn't until you ended up in a life-threatening situation that he actually confessed to you—which, as serious as the moment was, you cracked a joke and accepted his feelings.

[faecaptainofdreams]

I do not own Marvel. Yes, Wade drew this with crayon. Marvel HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… Peter HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… Wade HC: www.deviantart.com/foxdragonlo… If you don't like this ship i don't care. Don't talk to me about it, find something you do enjoy. If you're into it, then thanks for stopping by! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- TW: strong language, mature themes ~~Humble Start~~ When Peter was 19, he met 25-year-old Wade in January when the merc was teaming up with the Avengers to help him find his target, who happened to be involved in something the Avengers were trying to undo. When the men first shook hands and Peter introduced himself, he removed his mask, to which Wade suddenly replied "Hot DAMN! What are you, a Disney prince?!" Peter, startled, backed away, and Tony urged Peter to put his mask back on. As it was, Spiderman and Deadpool got along. Before they all parted ways (with the problem resolved and Deadpool having gotten his man), the latter thought it might be fun to pop in once in a while and visit the Avengers. While the others drily insisted that he don't do that, Spidey thought Deadpool could be a potentially good friend. Despite Tony's aversion to it, Peter gave Wade his number and suggested they hang out sometime. Wade showed up a couple weeks later after having texted Peter off and on. Still shy about his appearance and preferring to not be seen at a lower profile, he came to the facility wearing fingerless gloves, concealing clothing, and his Deadpool mask. After he and Peter hung out the first couple of times, the younger of them asked if Wade would let him see his face. With lots of self-deprecating jokes, Wade said no. Sometimes Peter would go meet up with Wade and go mess around with him, and soon enough he introduced the assassin to his friends, Ned and MJ. They all talked to each other regularly, forming a tight little friend group. Wade sometimes felt like he didn't belong with them, like he was too old to be their friend, but they all had the same childish sense of humor. And given how intelligent the younger trio was, they felt mature to him. Many times, Wade forgot that he was older, even if it was only by a couple of years. As months passed, the Avengers got used to Wade's presence and didn't take much issue with Peter hanging out with him. It was innocent (although Tony loathed the sex jokes and vulgarity, especially when it was directed at his boy). It was clear that Peter had a vastly different moral compass and a much more sensible head on his shoulders, and was not going to be influenced by Wade's mercenary ways. He was trusted with the friendship. ~~The Crush~~ Wade fancied Peter from the start. The second the mask had come off, Wade was smitten, but he figured it would go away or just stay stagnant. He'd been attracted to and thirsted after people loads of times (hence all his sexual escapades), but he was never the settle-down type. He joked about Peter being attractive and sexy and made all kinds of quips, but given he was so crass by nature, Peter never took it too seriously. He did believe Wade thought he was attractive, but he knew he was like this with multiple people and figured it was harmless. Which it was, but he didn't understand that it was serious. The more Wade stuck around and the more he got to know the Spiderman, the more his feelings grew. He eventually had to face facts and accept that he didn't just like Peter for his body -- he liked his character. The boy was an absolute magnet; bright and sunny, happy, forgiving, generous, kind, merciful, hilarious, intelligent, and non-judgmental. He was the ultimate package. Wade also knew he was bisexual and knew that if he really worked up to it, asking Peter out wasn't out of the question or too far-fetched. What was far-fetched, to his mind, was the idea that Peter would ever say "yes." And even if he did say yes, was that fair to the Ironman's golden child? Wade was a self-sustaining disaster with baggage so heavy even Spiderman couldn't pick it up. As far as he was concerned, it was best to keep his feelings to himself and spare Peter the misery. What he didn't realize was Peter was starting to notice him, too. By Autumn, Wade sorely opened up to Weasel about his feelings. ---        "Ew, do you like...love him?" "Maybe."        "Gross. What are you gonna do?" Wade shrugged. "Nothing, same as usual. He doesn't need my insanity in his life, he's too kind and innocent."        "But you wanna fuck him, right? Maybe just try to do that." "No, Jesus! Are you even listening? Peter's not that kind of guy, and even if he was into it, I can't take advantage of him like that." Weasel's face scrunched in mild disgust.        "God, you have it bad for him..." "Yeah. It's like, he's a total bro, but fuckable. He's soft but strong, masculine but feminine, fierce but graceful."        "   " "He's the kind of guy you take on like fifteen dates, buy flowers and candy, get one of those stupid little Hallmark cards with some sappy bullshit saying how much the sender loves him. Then, you fuck him. Not at your place, but at his place, so he's more comfortable, and only after you've made him spaghetti and chocolate-covered strawberries, by candle light. You fuck gently. Passionately, but with strength, but you don't wanna hurt him. But he's secretly a sex tiger under the sheets, and it kinda scares you, but you love it, but you're still afraid to fuck him any other way than gently."        "I feel like this is a fantasy you've had for a while." "No, of course not."        "So...he's your friend, you want to fuck him, but you don't wanna just fuck him because that would be taking advantage of him. Because you'd rather have a relationship with him, but you don't wanna have a relationship with him because you think he deserves better, but you're gonna keep hanging out with him and torture yourself. Is that... I mean, am I close?" "Like a Hawkeye arrow through a nutsack with a target drawn on it."        "Ow. I think my left testicle just rose back inside of me in fear." "Balls are very perceptive."        "Okay, well here's my advice." Wade learned forward.        "... You're fucked." "Thanks, I totally needed help figuring that out."        "Who is the guy, anyway?" "...Peter Parker..."        "Pete-- like Spiderman Peter Parker?" "Yup."        "How the fuck...?" "I know."        "I feel like I saw his face on the news last year when he got all discovered, but I don't remember. You got a picture?" "Yeah," Wade grumbled while reaching in his pocket for his phone.       "Heh, 'course you do, you sick-o." After glaring at his friend, Wade pulled up a picture of Peter and zoomed in on his smiling face.       "WHOA, holy MOSES, that guy is good looking!" "I know."        "He looks like a stallion and a buck had sex with an Irish setter!" "Yeah, told ya. Fierce, but graceful."        "I've always been a pussy-man, but I gotta say... He's making me question my sexuality." "He has that affect on people."        "That is MAJORLY out of your league." "Thank you." Wade put his phone away.       "How old is he?" "Nineteen."        "Whoooa, a little on the young side, huh?" "Just a little, but he's mature for his age."        "..." "...That sounded a little creepy, I take that back." --- Wade began an off-and-on effort of keeping Peter at arm's length. He went through periods of texting and hanging out with him less, but whenever it was clear that Peter could tell something was up, he snapped back into the picture. He couldn't bear to make Peter worry or feel as though he'd done something wrong. This went on for a couple of months. Peter too, was beginning to feel a little bit of romantic sting. Wade hooked up with a couple of people over the months, including Vanessa. There was a brief period where the two of them copulated like rabbits, and that was with the ex-prostitute knowing that Wade had feelings for someone. In the merc's mind, maybe he could get his needs out of his system, but it didn't work. If anything, he felt emptier after each fling. Peter was attracted to Wade before he even realized he was. Always seeking him out, making sure their friendship was solid, feeling a constant need to have a hand on him in one way or another. He also played into some of Wade's lewd jokes and would tease him. Then there was the dancing and singing, of course, which only got more intense as time went on (a natural instinct of the jumping spider to try and woo a mate through display). Tony and Steve began to notice the men getting closer, and Tony was very unhappy. Steve convinced him to stay quiet and let Peter figure it out. In late Fall, Peter turned 20. Wade was there for his party, as were Ned and MJ. It was a lot of fun! Come December, Wade turned 26. He'd tried another couple of times to get away from Peter again, but the boy wouldn't let him go. They were like a binary system of stars, unable to pull away from each other, constantly drawn back into one another's path by an unseen force. For how long could this go on before they collided? And when they did, would they blow up and break apart, or make one bigger, more beautiful star? ~~Spoken Interest~~ By January, Peter came to terms with his own crush, and secretly told Ned about it. For the next month and a half, the boys gabbed about it, and Ned found it adorable and kind of funny. Peter said he wanted to ask Wade out, but was nervous that Wade wouldn't be interested. "Well you're not gonna know unless you ask," said Ned. Peter flirted a little more with Wade, but it mostly came across awkwardly. It basically felt like he was just humiliating himself over and over again, but Wade was noticing the difference in him. Regardless, he tried to respect the space, and refused to give himself up. In February, Peter asked Wade to hang out with him at a park somewhere and "people watch," since Wade enjoyed that activity. He felt it would be a nice, serene setting to keep Wade's attention and finally admit his feelings. He told Ned about his plan; the latter was exhilarated at the thought, and said he'd be standing by. Peter put on a warm but nice outfit and drove off to their spot to talk. Even though it was casual as always, they could both sense tension. They sat and chatted for a while, and with a racing heart, Peter finally found the right moment to confess. ---        "Hey, so... I've kinda been wanting to talk to you about something." "Hamburgers."        "I... What?" "Hamburgers! They're weird, right? I mean, ham comes from pigs, and beef comes from cows. Hamburgers are made with cow meat, but we call them ham-burgers." Wade threw his hands up, head rolling about. "The fuck is up with that??"        "O-oh, hah, I guess it sounds more appealing than...beef...burgers...?" Wade nodded thoughtfully. "Hm. Yeah, sounds kinda naughty." Peter could hear Wade's grin, and he stifled a laugh. His own smile was more earnest, but his desire flitted behind it. "Like beef curtain, or beef stick--"        "Wade." "Yeah?"        "Look, um..." He turned to face his company better, now getting nervous.       "You and I are...really good friends, right?" "Why yes, broski dear."        "Hah, well... It's just... Ahh, I don't wanna say anything and...mess that up." "...Well, what do you wanna say...?" There was a long silence.        "...Okay -- okay, total honesty... Wade, I..." He drew in a deep breath.       "I like you..." They stared at each other. After a long silence, the older male playfully slapped Peter's arm. "I like you too, beef buddy! ... Yikes, wow, see? Beef is just a naughty word." Peter blinked, thoughts spinning in his head a mile a minute. Wade knew what he really meant, but he couldn't begin to believe that in its suddenness. He was bracing for Peter to call him out on his own crush and possibly disown him, but this threw him for a loop.        "N... N-no, no Wade, I mean... I like you...as more than a buddy, or a bro..." He swallowed.       "Or a friend..." He rubbed his hands together, slowly and tensely, brown orbs wide while looking at Wade. The cold white eyes of Wade's mask pierced back at him. "...Oh..."        "A-and... I just thought, m-maybe, if...you don't think it's weird, or if -- I don't know, if maybe you liked me too, we could...date...?" There was another long pause. This time, Wade understood for certain. When he looked forward to contemplate, stunned expression hidden by the mask, Peter looked off and around, his heart sinking. There were times when Wade was genuinely difficult to read, and this was one of them. Wade was getting his wish, it was like the start of his fantasy had come true! All he had to do was agree to it. "Uh, I don't think we should do that." He regretted it the second he said it. Peter felt his heart drop, and his face begin to turn red with shock and embarrassment.        "Oh," he croaked while looking down at his lap. Wade's answer stunned him. When the merc spoke, he tried to bring it back to a place of casualty in the hopes of removing the heavy feeling from the air. "Look, don't get me wrong, you've heard me talk about ya. You're precious, and I'd be beside myself to fuck your brains out." Peter almost smiled, but the desperation for answers overpowered the natural response to do so. Wade continued. "But you're romantic, you need stability. I'm a one-night stand kind of guy, friends-with-benefits and all that. You're not really about that life, right? I mean, come on. You wouldn't sleep with me without getting to know me, right?" Peter swallowed something dry and thick. Looking away, the hope for this to go anywhere withdrew from his gaze, and he shook his head.        "No..." Even Wade was at a loss for words for a moment. He may have turned his head away, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see Peter's heart breaking. He saw his red cheeks, his pinkish eyes. He could feel the sadness, and a lot of it was coming from himself, too. But he pulled it together again and lightly slapped the back of his hand against Peter's shoulder. "Eyyy, come on, this doesn't change anything, right? We're still pals." Peter quickly nodded. He was polite as ever, but the sensation that he had just gotten hit by a train was easy to read.       "No -- yeah, yeah yeah yeah, it's -- it's just... It's a little embarrassing, aha, I mean... You know, I..." "Nah, it's not so bad. It's adorable! Like I said, doesn't change a thing. Now when we get past this, I can tease you about thinking I'm a hot piece of ass." Peter did finally crack a small, broken smile and shook his head. He was glad that Wade wanted to be friends, but the damage was done. "...I mean you still wanna be friends, right?"        "Absolutely! I just... It's kind of a hard pill to swallow..." "Yeah, I know. You put yourself out there, then get shot down..." With genuine remorse and a strong but hidden wave of self-loathing, Wade laid a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I'm sorry." Peter nodded again and closed his eyes. He felt emotional, but why? Did it really mean that much to him? Staying strong, he glanced at Wade, mustering a hurt smile.        "Don't be sorry, you know I prefer honesty. I mean it'd be really stupid to say 'yes' when you don't want that, right?" As if Wade's heart couldn't sink any further. "Yeah..."        "Look man, um... It's -- I'm not like mad or anything, you didn't do anything wrong, but... I think I should go home, and just, like...try to process it--" "Yeah! Nothing wrong with that. I'll give you a couple days to uh...reel."        "Yeah, I think that sounds good." When they rose to their feet, they both chuckled sadly. In their awkwardness, Peter offered his hand to shake, which Wade accepted uneasily, but eventually pulled Peter into a side hug. "It'll be fine, we'll get past it. You take your time."        "K-ay..." With one last hurt smile, Peter left Wade's company. On the way back to his car, he finally let the tears roll. Wade watched him go until his car was out of sight, stunned by his own foolishness. He wasn't stupid; he knew he had made Peter cry. He knew he'd broken his heart, and he hated himself for it. When Wade got to his apartment, he took out his anger on his environment, taking to breaking a lot of things in his living space. --- Peter did his best to get most of his emotions out before he got home, but the sadness and hurt would linger. When he got inside he pretended everything was okay, but it was obvious his mind was elsewhere. Not too long after getting in, he went to his room and called Ned. ---    "Hey, what's up? Did you talk to him?"        "Yeah."    "...Uh-oh. What did he say?"        "He said 'no.'..."    "Awww man, Peter, I'm sorry. Did he say why?" Peter tried to keep his sniffles quiet, but Ned could hear them anyway.       "Yeah, u-um... He said that...you know, he's a one-night-stand kind of guy, and that I'm -- we're -- ... He doesn't...think it would be a good idea, because he just...likes sex, and I'm romantic, so..."    "That really sucks, I'm sorry."        "Me too..."    "...Hey, I rigged my GTA 4 game to get Carmageddon on the 360." Peter continued to hold back his emotions, but only half-cared about Ned's random statement.       "Y-eah...?"    "Yeah, it's really funny! Can I come over and show you? It should work on your 360." Now understanding, Peter smiled a little.       "Yeah, that sounds cool. We could, um... I could make...popcorn, or something."    "Awesome! Is now good?"        "Sure, uh -- lemme ask Tony first, just to be sure."    "Okay. Text me." --- After they said goodbye and hung up, Peter got confirmation from Tony that having Ned over for a few hours would be fine. While on his way to go prepare everything, May found Peter and insisted he tell her what was wrong, as she could tell something was up. Although he'd wanted to keep it hidden from his elders, Peter (naturally) trusted May and knew it was confidential, so he came clean. Seeing her nephew's broken heart, May consoled him and offered a little advice about how to heal up from it, and insisted that they would, yes, go back to being friends in time. ~~SpideyPool~~ In the days passing, Peter and Wade refrained from messaging each other. Peter went about his usual life, including going on regular patrols. He took down a couple of small criminals, helped a few people in minor danger. This always felt good; even the littlest of ways he could help people made his day brighter and his heart fuller. Wade, meanwhile, had spent the days since the rejection in sorrow and self-hatred. He'd smashed a lot of the stuff in his apartment and all but shredded the couch, laying face-down on the tattered furniture in a mess of stuffing, old food scraps, alcohol and the same outfit he'd had on when he last talked to Peter (minus the coat, boots and mask). It had been five days. But on this fifth day, Colossus happened to pop in. He knocked. ---   "Wade? You are playing Elvis again. Are you all right?" "AwwwWWW!! I'm not in the mood, Sputnik! Fuck the shit off!" Colossus opened the door and hunched in, turning off Wade's music.    "You should really lock door. Wade, you are a mess; what is wrong?" The merc answered him with his face still down and pressed to the couch. "What's wrong is this big metal dildo man keeps showing up at my door even after I tell him to fuck. the. shit. OFF." Colossus looked around, ignoring him.   "How do you live like this..." "I'm not living, I'm existing."    "Clearly. Is this another episode? Perhaps I should take you back to the mansion again." Wade lifted his head, tired eyes closed. "GOD, no! No more bland-coated walls with old white men all over them and every other X-Man acting like the studio couldn't afford to pay them to even just walk around and pretend they live there." Colossus raised a brow, but ignored him, as he was so used to doing.   "Well, if this is not episode, then what is it?" Wade's face flopped back into the couch, pressing in harder than earlier. "Imn mm bmng m thnntl dmshm."    "What?" With a heavy groan of aggravation, he sat up entirely, allowing small bags of food trash to spill onto the floor from its position under his body. Colossus winced at the crinkling and crumbs. "It's me being a total dipshit..." "What did you do," he asked tiredly while folding his arms. "I told you I liked some guy, right? Well... Turns out, he liked me, too."    "That is good news." "Yeah, it was, until he told me he liked me and I shot him down like a retarded clay pigeon in a Guantanamo Bay shooting range."    "..." "I swear to god, it's like while I wasn't looking, the cancer snuck into my brain and made me even stupider."    "Why did you turn him down?" "Because -- he's nice, okay? I don't just wanna get in his pants, I want to date him. I want to have a relationship, but he's not the person I should be trying that out with on account of how fucked sideways with a cactus my head is."    "On inside, or outside?" When Wade glared up at him, Colossus chuckled. Squinting, Wade lowered his voice. "Are you The Moby? 'Cos I haven't even taken The Great American Challenge yet, and I feel like you're stretching my ass WIDE open."    "Eugh! Listen..." Colossus softened up and sat beside him carefully.   "You are...different, very rough around the edges. You are afraid that this guy is too good for you." "No, I KNOW he's too good for me. I can't risk screwing up his life."    "How do you know that would happen?" "Uh, do I not ruin everything everywhere I go?"    "Only when you really mean to. But he likes you too, yes?" "He says he does... I'm not sure why."    "Maybe because, in your own strange way, you are charming man. You have a big heart, you care about people -- most of all, him, it seems." "That's why I gotta stay away from him."    "No, that is why you must go to him." Wade glanced up at his company.    "You must go tell him the truth, give it a second chance. He deserves to know what you are thinking, does he not?" "... No, I don't want to make him more miserable."    "If he is miserable, it is only because you have not been honest with him." "...You really think I should do this? You really think I should go over there and just...tell him how I feel?"    "Absolutely." "...Just admit that you want me, Colossus." Colossus sighed. "I don't know,..."    "Trust me, if you don't do this, then you will never know what could be. You will spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been, your soul will forever be restless." "..."    "...Who is it that you are pining for so badly?" Wade's voice almost cracked. "P-eter Parker..."    "Peter Parker?? You mean Spiderman???" "Yeah."    "OH, he is a VERY good young man... Erh...over eighteen, yes?" "He's twenty."    "OH, good." "Like you said, he's very good. He's not...he doesn't deserve all my shit."    "You will never know, Wade. Not unless you take risk." "..."    "If you try your best, if you let love in, and it is real, then your messy life will work itself out." Wade looked up at Colossus, who then put a caring, large metal hand on his shoulder.   "Maximum effort." "...Okay... Maximum effort." --- When Colossus left, Wade showered and started cleaning up. On the sixth morning after their last conversation, Wade called Peter, but the latter was around other people while in the facility. Not wanting to talk to him in front of anyone, he declined the call, but texted Wade saying "Hang on i'll call in a sec." He went to his room and did as was promised, calling Wade back while sitting on his bed. --- "Hey, Spidey!"        "Hey, Wade." He sounded a little tired, but was kind and open-minded. "What's up?"        "Uhh not much, I was with Tony and Wanda and didn't want to talk in front of them. Just...sitting in my room, now." "Gotcha."        "So...did you want something?" "Aww, you're still upset about the other day," he said with an audible smile. Peter sat up, voice more peppy.       "No, no, I mean I'm not upset, I'm just... It... 'Upset' is just such a harsh word, um... I'm just kinda sad, you know? It's -- I'm still just trying to...make sense of it all, figure out what's...going on in my head." "I understand."        "I'm sorry..." "Why are you sorry?"        "I don't know, I just feel bad, I mean this can't be fun for you, either. I just feel really stuck. And -- I told May, but only because she could tell how down I was." "May is nice."        "She's the best..." "...I miss you, Pete."        "Me too... Ned...rigged his GTA 4 disk to run Carmageddon on the 360." "What?! That's sick as FUCK!"       "Yeah... Maybe sometime we could hang out and play it together. It's really funny..." "I'd like that. Or... I could just come hang out with ya right now!" Peter sat up a little more.       "Oh, Wade, I don't know, I... I think I still need a little more time to process everything. It's -- I'm still not mad or anything, you're still my friend, it's just kinda hard..." "Oh... Well that's too bad, 'cos I'm right outside your window."        "--What??" After Wade's shadow cast onto the wall and got Peter's attention, he quickly looked to the left and saw Wade in the window, waving happily at him before putting the phone back to his ear. Peter tossed his phone down in shock and ran to the window.       "Wade!" He opened the glass pane, shivering at the freezing air.       "What are you doing?!" "Just felt I needed to come by and clear things up with you." After realizing he was talking pointlessly into his phone, Wade shrugged and tossed it.       "Wha--" Peter quickly fired a web at the little computer, snatching it and yanking it into his hand. Wade crawled into Peter's room through the window, and then the latter closed it and handed Wade his phone.       "Why would you throw this??" Wade took his phone back and chuckled. "Ewww, now it has webs on it...!"        "That's better than being broken!" Wade shrugged the snow off his shoulders. He was in full suit with a beanie on his head over his mask, and a fur coat. "Plungers make really good building-climbing tools, did you know that?"        "Eugh, you -- you used plungers to get up here?" "They're all new, it's fine. Well -- except for the one for my right foot, I wouldn't touch that one." Wade slid off his coat and beanie.       "Wade, what are you doing here...?" "I wanted to talk to you about the other day." Peter motioned for him to be quiet, then stepped over and locked his door. Turning back to face him, he kept his voice low, and so his visitor did the same.        "Okay?" "Look... The thing is, I like you, too. A LOT. I've had it bad for you from the start, Petey, but... It's like I said the other day; you're a nice guy, and--"        "Wait, let me just stop you there." He waited.       "I know that you like to sleep around, and that's okay. Some people are romantic, and some people aren't, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not judging you, I think what you do is totally fine." Wade nodded.       "But... I'm still not that guy, you know? I still need those things, I'm -- I want a relationship. It's okay that you don't want that, you don't have to explain yourself. But if this is a request to just...fool around, um... I'm...not game for that, I'm sorry." "...Aww, you're so cute," he said happily before roughing Peter's hair lovingly. Peter stood in blank confusion, having no response to that. "I'm not here because I want to have sex with you. I mean, I'd like to, but not like...right now, I mean like in the future, when we've been seeing each other for a little while."        "..." "When you asked me out, I said no because I didn't think I was right for you. I still don't, honestly, I mean you should really, just...turn around and run while you have the chance. Because I'm about to ask you something, and I don't have a lot of patience, and I might just blurt it, cut and dry."        "Wade, what the hell are you trying to say?" "I'm saying... Will you go out with me...?" Peter stood in total shock, staring blankly at Wade. "......Is that a 'no'? That's probably a wise choice, but I'm gonna...need verbal confirmation. I mean if it's not 'yes,' it's 'no,' because basic principle, but ya know. ...?" He finally blinked and shook his head a little, making an effort to make sure he kept his voice low.        "Okay, wait... You do want to go out with me...?" "Yeah. I've wanted to since like, last June."        "FFFFFFFF-- Wade...?!?!?" "Yeah... Pathetic, I know."        "So why did you say 'no' the other day??" "I told you, because I don't think I'm right for you. I'm super fucked up and you're really nice! You're --"        "Shh...!" He lowered his voice to something of a shouting whisper. "You have your whole life ahead of you to meet fucked up people, you should at least have some normal, healthy relationships first...!"        "Wade, that's up to me to decide, and I know you think you're like the worst person ever, but you're actually really a good guy...!" "Why are we whispering...?!"        "Because if Tony finds out we're even discussing dating he'll throw you to the moon...!" "That would suck...!"        "I know...!" They both stood a little taller, each sighing some and looking off before focusing again. They stopped whispering, but remained quiet.        "So..." "I'm just saying... I've got a lot of baggage, and problems, and a whirlwind of mind shit that falls out of its little shit-filled cabinet whenever it feels like it. I have LOVED being your friend, but I'm..."        "...Yes...?" "...I'm scared of hurting you..." Peter relaxed and took a step towards him.        "You're not gonna hurt me." "You don't know that."        "And you don't know that you will. But if you think that, but you still had the nerve to come tell me how you feel and ask me out..." Wade looked up at him cautiously.       "...Then you must have some sort of faith in it being okay, right?" "..." Peter started to smile.        "What if we just tried it? Why don't we just...date...? And if it doesn't work out, then that's okay. We can just be friends. I mean that's what we were working up to being again anyway, right?" "That's how it would have to be. I can't lose you, Spidey, you mean a lot to me."        "..." "You're like ice on a burn. You have...the BEST heart. I don't wanna hurt it."        "Stuff's gonna hurt me, Wade. That's life, it's okay. If you hurt me, we can get past it." "...You promise?" Peter smiled bigger.        "I promise. Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll hurt you or something, pfft." Peter couldn't see it, but Wade was smiling, too.        "If you're serious, and this isn't you feeling guilty about saying 'no' or asking for a one night stand... I would love to go out with you. PLEASE, let me go out with you." --- And so it was, they secretly began dating. Wade made arrangements to take Peter out that very afternoon. After Wade left through the window, taking his plungers with him, Peter called Ned in a slight panic. He excitedly explained what happened and told him he needed to prepare himself for the date, and they hung up. When it came to Tony, Peter had to keep quiet. Like before, he didn't tell anyone, including May; he just didn't want anyone to know yet. The first date was just spent with the boys wandering around a nice part of the city, discussing how they liked each other and how long each of them have felt it. Wade explained that he was a mess for the days following his rejection of Peter, and that it took Colossus busting into his apartment and yanking him onto his feet to get him to go talk. He also confessed to having slept with a couple of people, including Vanessa, which Peter was more than fine with. But, he emphasized, Wade really needed to look into STI testing just to be safe. The first date didn't end with kissing or anything randy, and Wade still didn't show Peter his face. Instead, they hugged, and Peter drove back home. The dates following were very similar, with food as part of the equation. They even had a "parkour date," where both got in full suit and leaped around the city, showing their abilities to one another for the sheer sport of it. Peter even held Wade and swung around the city with him on his hip. According to Wade, this was terrifying but romantic. By this time, Peter told May and MJ. After a few weeks, Peter and Wade felt relatively steady. Tony and Steve could tell something was different with Peter when it came to Wade, and Tony had his suspicions from the start. Peter knew that Tony could sense something unusual, but he played around it and acted casually. Tony chose to stay quiet about it. During a date one late afternoon when Peter and Wade were on a harbor, in suit, the sun out after a light rain (yes, it must be that specific), Peter pressed a little harder to see Wade's face. He understood why Wade was shy about it, but kindly argued that it was difficult to date someone he'd known for over a year while still not having a clue what he looked like. Feeling that Peter's reaction could really make or break the potential of their relationship, Wade finally conceded and removed the mask. To his surprise, there was no horror or tension, or even the slightest bit of disgust. He looked a little surprised, briefly raising his eyebrows with a blink, and studied him. He said "Wow," and that was about it. Wade started to make jokes about himself, to which Peter put his arms around Wade and told him he wasn't allowed to insult himself whenever he was in the Spiderman's arms. This became a new theme with them. After a minute of talking, and with Wade allowing his new partner to lightly touch his scarred cheeks, he asked if Peter had anymore requests before the mask went back on. ---       "...You could kiss me..." Wade stared at him in light disbelief.        "...Or -- or not, it's totally optional. Just a suggest--" As the cliche stands, Wade kissed him, cutting off his sentence. When he pulled away, Peter was stunned and glowing.        "O-ohhoh... Okay, I-I don't have a lot of reference, but... That was really good..." "I agree." --- Wade put his mask back on, and the two were smitten. A few days after their first kiss, Peter finally sat down with Tony and Steve and came clean about his recent dating situation. Steve didn't love the idea, and Tony hated it, but the former offered support and simply asked that Peter be careful and trust his instincts. Tony was a tad more chilly with his honesty, but when Peter became insecure, he emphasized that he wasn't angry. He just didn't trust Wade on a romantic level, and feared Peter getting hurt. This gave Peter the opportunity to remind Tony that he was a big boy now, and he could handle making his own mistakes, and was willing to face the consequences of his decisions. It ended on a positive note, but Tony couldn't hide the lack of thrill he had over the new relationship. Weeks turned into months, and things when steady. In their time together, Peter got permission from Tony to make his very own original suit. Given how comfortable he was with Wade, and with the relationship also recently going public, Peter felt the desire to start fresh and switch up his look with a lot more blue. For one thing, the blue complimented Deadpool's vast red and helped him stand out.~ That May, when they'd been going out for about three months, Peter started becoming more bold in his physical interest in Wade. He'd been to the merc's apartment several times as well, and had actually managed to convince him to start cleaning the place up and get some new furniture. He wasn't judgmental; he merely worried for Wade's state of mind and the health hazards, insisting that he might feel better and more confident if he lived in better conditions. This conversation brought Wade to inadvertently mention how he was desensitized to the squalor due to being forced to sit in his own waste and vomit for a while when he had gotten ill at the Mutant Factory. This was one of the most serious things Wade brought up right off the bat, but upon seeing Peter's face stricken with shock and concern, he clammed up. Peter assured him that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and that he appreciated Wade talking to him. The conversation helped Wade feel better, much to his shock, and he agreed that it might be good for him to clean up the apartment. So he did just that. It wasn't spectacular, but the improvement was great, and Wade actually found himself wanting better for how he lived. In June, Peter's physical interests were more clear. They'd discussed sex, but Peter was shy, and Wade was never one to push. But finally, while making out one day, Peter came to the conclusion that he was ready to be intimate. They each went home and planned for Peter to go to Wade's. They each wanted to shower and prepare for it first. Peter brought a small bag with a movie and his suit in it (just in case). He told Tony that they were just going to have a movie date. Tony didn't like it, and insisted Peter also take his iron suit (which is tightly compact into a small shape when dormant like the Ironman suit). Peter obeyed, willing to do anything to help Tony feel more comfortable about him being out and about. At Wade's apartment, the pair chilled for a little while, but Wade was eager to show his company how he'd prepared the bedroom. He led Peter to his room, revealing soft pink and orange shaded string lights pinned up around the walls, nice bedding, and an overall sense of warmth. Needless to say, Peter was very impressed, letting Wade know he did not expect this, and didn't require it in the future. But yes, he absolutely loved it, and knew he would have a good time. When they were done, they both fell asleep in Wade's bed. Tony called around 1 in the morning, asking where Peter was. He was a little upset, but nothing Peter couldn't work around. He apologized and said they were both tired from watching the movie and then playing some video games, so Peter crashed on the couch and forgot to tell Tony he was staying the night. After a little back and forth, Peter reassured him that everything was all right and encouraged him to go back to sleep. He promised to come home early in the morning with a box of donuts as an apology. Tony hesitantly agreed, and left him alone. Once more, the next day, Peter made a point to tell Ned about his escapades. The next few times Peter went to Wade's house, he ended up spending the night. And again, he lied his ass off to Tony, saying they just had a new routine of playing video games until they crashed. Tony knew better, and Peter knew that, but neither were willing to give on the subject. By this time, Peter quietly told aunt May that his relationship with Wade was now very serious. She was excited for him, proud and happy and double checked that he was being safe. Embarrassed and a little exasperated, he confirmed this, and just like that May was back in fun mode. She was able to accept that Peter was grown now, and she was glad to try and guide him through this very impressionable period in his life. The morning after Peter's fifth time with Wade, Colossus visited unexpectedly while the boys were still sleeping. Wade got up and addressed him, completely naked, while Peter stayed back and hurriedly put his clothes on before meekly coming out to greet the metal man. He was shy but thrilled to meet the infamous X-Man. After Peter convinced Wade to at least put on some underwear, they all sat down together and had a chat. Colossus was happy to finally meet Spiderman, and when Peter got home, he told his family about how funny it was to wake up and meet Colossus. Later that day, Tony finally pulled Peter aside and broke down, having a serious discussion with him about the relationship. He asked for full honesty on whether they had become physical, and Peter answered honestly. The talk was civil, as Tony loved Peter too much to ever take out any frustration on him, but his concern was clear. He told Peter he respected that, that Peter didn't need to feel bad about it; he was just making sure everything was okay. Not that it was any of his business, but he considered his family to be his business. Peter didn't mind, so long as Tony stayed cool. The Ironman did confirm that Peter understood the fact that he wasn't going to invite Wade to live with them. Peter agreed. When Tony asked if Peter was thinking about living with Wade, the latter said "no." "So what are you gonna do?" Tony asked. Peter told him that he would just keep doing as they had been; dating, hanging out, and if they wanted to have personal time, Peter would go to Wade's. He told Tony he felt he really loved Wade, and was okay with the fact that he was, in Tony's words, "super fucked up." He understood that he wasn't responsible for Wade's mental health, but that he enjoyed helping him through some of his issues. He understood that trauma like this was a long-haul, and he was willing to at least try. After all, everyone he knew was traumatized, himself included. The conversation helped clear the air a lot for the father-and-son pair, and Tony grew a greater respect for the relationship. A week or so after that conversation, Tony ended up having a talk with Wade. The merc shocked him with his raw honesty about his feelings for Peter, revealing his only intention was to be happy with him without weighing him down. He loved him, and he would do anything for him, including whatever he could to please his family. He understood why everyone flocked to shield Peter; he was different, special. It was then that Tony finally saw an ounce of what Peter saw in Wade, and his respect grew. In August, Peter turned 21 and in December, Wade turned 27. In that time frame, Peter began sneaking Wade into his room sometimes to get physical.~ Not long after Wade's birthday, Tony finally came to grips with the reality that Wade wasn't going anywhere. His relationship with Peter was incredibly strong and steady, and despite Peter having his job, his family and friends and Wade, he'd managed to make it all work. They were mature, and mature together, and Tony wanted Peter to have every opportunity possible to make things a little easier. So as a surprise, he told Peter he was going to allow Wade to move into the facility, even though he wasn't being offered any Avenger titles. He even said he didn't mind if Wade and him shared his bedroom, so long as they weren't mindless sex idiots and kept everyone awake all the time. Stunned, Peter was beyond grateful. Together, everyone gathered up and invited Wade to the facility to make the offer. Wade was uncertain at first, asking if they wanted him to be an Avenger. "GOD no," said Sam. Peter informed him that this had no strings attached, and asked if he was ready to move in with him. Wade said yes, and accepted this very unexpected, beautiful birthday present. In being offered to move in, this was the Avengers fully embracing Wade and adopting him into their weird, messed up family. In time, they would learn to see that Wade was in fact, a good man with a big heart, and become used to his mouth. ~~Love Forever After~~ Living together, it was a dream come true. For the first time in Wade's life, things finally seemed to be on a steady path, and he would do anything to keep it that way. He was happy, he wanted to stay happy, and most of all, he wanted to do well for Peter. With them being together (even before Wade had moved in), Peter helped Wade open up about his past and his feelings. He wasn't judgmental, he wasn't off-put by Wade's mannerisms, weirdness, strange coping habits, random emotional moments, nightmares, or even the nastiest of content regarding his past. He just listened and consoled, and even shielded Wade from the harshness of others. With a guy as wonderful as the friendly neighborhood Spiderman, even though he wasn't perfect, Wade had a tough time feeling like he could give back enough. What he didn't tend to understand was Peter already felt Wade did give back. Wade was a passionate, attentive, caring, thorough lover, and exceedingly generous. He did anything and everything he could for Peter. Aside from just being the best mate he could be, he couldn't think of much else, but it was more than enough. Peter needed him, too. And when Peter had problems, his heart was heavy or he had his own traumatic episodes, Wade was there for him. He applied the very things he'd learned from his love and gave back. After some months living with Peter, Wade had his first serious emotional breakdown related to his trauma. Deadpool, Spiderman, Ironman, Scarlet Witch, and War Machine were out on a mission one night. On a rooftop, after the mission was finished and they had regrouped, Peter was wrapping some things up when a casual conversation started between Wade and the others. The Mutant Factory got brought up, which Wade appeared fine with. He joked casually about what he went through, and the others listened. But at a certain point, after making a comment about his torture that initially caused him to laugh, his laughter suddenly turned to tears. At first the others just went along with it, used to Wade's emotional switches at this point and figuring it would be fine. But when the merc's weeps became sobs and he could no longer stand up, everyone finally realized something was wrong. James stood by Wade and Wanda knelt beside him, clueless as to how to help or what exactly was happening. Tony called Peter to their gathering on the rooftop, and when the Spiderman saw his partner in a heavy heap of tears, he sprung into action. Wanda and James backed away to give Peter the space to console him. He was understandably confused and alarmed by the development, but stayed calm. Tony had an idea of what was happening, cluing Peter in with a reminder of how he had suddenly felt okay enough to grieve his uncle when the time came. It clicked; Wade finally felt safe and comfortable enough in his life that his mind was ready to start the healing process. Peter carried Wade away from the group, who let them have their space. He removed his mask, and convinced Wade to let him take his off, and he held him. Wade announced that he didn't understand what was going on and that he couldn't stop, so Peter told him not to stop. He told him that this was a good thing even though it didn't feel like it, and that it wouldn't last forever. After a while, when Wade was calm enough, Peter took him home. He explained to him what he thought was happening. From that point on, Wade was much more prone to having harder breakdowns, but at that point they seemed to happen at more appropriate times. He also had an easier time talking about it, even if it did hurt like all hell. Thankfully, for Wade's sake, his primary trauma response now is sobbing and nightmares. And when it happens, someone is always there to help him. Of course he still has his random weepy moments at weird things, but Peter has always been understanding of that and never judged him. If anything, he only ever helped Wade feel validated. When Peter was 22 and Wade was 28, the Trial of the Gods ensued. This was hard on Wade, and revealed he had a host of dependency issues with Peter. It led to them having a serious but gentle talk, where Peter offered to work with him on easing his mind about the fact that bad things happen, and if anything bad ever happened to Peter, he needed the peace of mind that Wade would take care of himself. Stay clean, healthy, surround himself with his friends, continue to do good things. If not for himself, then for Peter, because he would want that. Wade agreed, even though the conversation was hard. Ultimately, Wade's mind never reached any peace until he went on a mission and secretly killed himself in order to get to The Realm of Silence, Interitus's realm of the dead. After having a quick conversation wherein Wade asked the elk god if he would ever die for good, Interitus told him 'yes.' He said that Wade would not live forever, that his time would come when it was right, and in death he would be with his beloved. This gave Wade all the peace he needed. Someday, Wade and Peter will get married. How, when and under what circumstances remain a mystery. For now, they're just loving life together. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Mouse Droids and How To Fix Them – A Quick And Easy Guide [Livestream] Summary: Luke has a Space Youtube Channel and Leia watches his videos to de-stress from a terrible day. Mouse droids are named and the Empire and its terrible quality are dragged through the sarlacc pit. AN: Anyway, did somebody said TIE-Fighter story prequel? No? Too bad.

Leia was a well-composed and well-behaved serene princess right up until the doors of her rooms closed behind her. The moment she was out of sight, she kicked off her shoes with such a force that they soared half across the room and crashed against her wardrobe with a loud crack. She took the pins keeping her braids in place out of her hair and threw them onto the dresser. Then as graceless as a regular fifteen-year-old girl, Leia dropped onto her bed and screamed into her pillow.

Today had been terrible.

Leia hated all the pointless festivities that only ever served to make everyone there feel important and powerful but did absolutely nothing for the people they were supposed to govern. She couldn’t understand how her parents managed it. They were good and selfless people, always calm and serene even when the newest governor was basically spitting one insult after the other at them. Leia always wanted to shout back, it was her first instinct. Idiots who couldn’t be bothered to contribute anything productive or kind, should shut up and stop hindering others from doing their job. Leia had kept her mouth shut of course. She had smiled pleasantly as her mother had taught her and acted as expected from her.

But that didn’t mean that she hadn’t wanted to strip the gloves off her hands and show him how much of a bloodthirsty royal she really was. She shouldn’t have desired it, but it annoyed her so much when others purposefully misunderstood her. It had been a year since she picked her coronation color. When would people finally stop commenting on it?

Yes! Princess Leia Organa had chosen white! She’d forgone five-hundred-years of tradition and picked the color of the snow on Alderaan’s mountains, of ice so cold it burned, of the sheets upon which they wrote the names of their dead.

Leia wore the color of war, mourning and remembrance and she wore it well.

How could she not when the Empire was murdering innocents, subjugating whole worlds and waging an unjust war? Picking green or blue would be an insult upon the suffering she had been forced to witness. She didn’t want to be remembered as another impassive royal, bowing to the whims of the Empire. Leia hadn’t been meant to live in a tyrannizing Empire in which she had to watch her every word and step. She wanted to speak her mind and missed the Republic she never got to experience.

Her parents, while displeased she out herself in such danger, had understood it. Most Alderaanians understood it and supported her, but not that stupid new governor. Instead, he went on and on about her image and character flaws – and worse! Talked about marriage.

Leia was already dead set on staying unmarried. Her parents had been lucky. Despite their marriage being arranged, they’d loved each other. Or maybe they had been in love first and the political advantage of the marriage was just a bonus. Leia didn’t entirely know, but she knew to one hundred percent that all her potential Alderaani suitors sucked. They were arrogant and petty or worse, both of that but way older than her as well. She could marry somebody from a different planet, but the Old Houses would frown upon that and then she’d have to deal with more in-fighting and risk losing control of Alderaan’s society and give the Empire even more access to her planet. It was bad enough as it was.

Groaning, Leia rolled onto her back and got up from her bed again. She’d hate herself in the morning if she didn’t dress out of the fine robes completely. She fetched herself her sleeping clothes and washed the make-up off her face. It felt like taking off uncomfortable armor and she was more than glad to get rid of it. Leia didn’t mind dressing up. As a child, she had loved trying on her parents’ much too large clothes and she still loved picking out dresses together with her mother, but sometimes she wished it all wouldn’t take so much energy.

Redressed, Leia returned to her bed, ready to pretend to fall asleep when she knew that she wouldn’t be able to close her eyes now. Her mind was too unfocused, her thoughts all jumbled up. She laid still and waited until another moment had passed before reaching for her bed stand and pulling out her secret private comm.

Leia had three of them. One for official business, one was the officially private secret comm – the one every important person in the galaxy was supposed to have and hide – and then there was her own, which she used to stay up-to-date with activities unbefitting on an Imperial princess.

She checked the holonet, skimming through articles that made her blood boil and delightfully bright art that called for resistance. She was pleased to notice that more and more Alderaani artists were choosing lighter colors in their barely legal paintings and downright joyful when she saw an account post images of white flags. Those posts would probably be taken down once the meaning behind them spread a little more, but Leia was proud nonetheless. She had caused this, this was her contribution to the Rebellion.

In a better mood already, Leia went through her notifications. She had a few replies to articles she had written and- oh.

 [Notification: Scrap Hunting has started a livestream – 1 Min ago]

Smiling widely, Leia clicked on the link connecting her to the video. The livestream had indeed only started recently, and not even properly. Leia had missed the last one sadly because she’d been in the Core, too far away for Scrap Hunting’s terrible holonet connection to reach. Alderaan was just close enough to Tatooine for Leia to watch them.

She couldn’t quite recall how she had stumbled upon the channel. She had just been clicking through some random videos one day and there it had been. Leia wasn’t all that knowledgeable about ships – her parents had kept a keen eye on her since the Speeder accident she’d had when she was ten – and didn’t really have much access to the hangers either. Droids, on the other hand, Leia knew plenty about. They were everywhere and nobody wanted to live without them, which made them the perfect spies with the right adjustments. Leia knew how to wipe a droid’s memory so clean, it was shinier than any crystal and how to hide protocols upon protocols in their storage. Her favorite droids were C-3PO and the R2D2 unite serving on the Tantive IV. Artoo especially had a lot of personality. Leia needed to sort out her Binary so she could catch all the colorful curses the astromech liked to inflict on people.

The two boys running Scrap Hunting – well, only really Luke actually – were sympathetic. They didn’t talk about droids like they were simple tools and they were proficient in fixing them up. Therefore Leia was very pleased to see that the title of the livestream was Mouse Droids and How To Fix Them – A Quick And Easy Guide. This would be fun, the right kind of distracting noise she needed after such a long day.

X

“Alright, we’re all set up now,” Luke said. “Hello everybody! I’m Luke and welcome to another episode of Scrap Hunting!”

He waved at the recorder and then picked up a small back droid from his table. “This is what today’s livestream will be about! An MSE-series droid! A lot of you guys said you’d like more livestreams and the weather’s been pretty good recently and I fixed the signals so I hope this works out just fine.”

Luke smiled and reached for the first tool lying in front of him. “I decided that fixing up this little guy here should be fine for a shorter video. I don’t have to think so much about what I’m doing and can talk at the same time.��

He began taking off the outer casing of the droid and carefully set it aside. “I know, I know, I’m always talking, but nobody complains about it.” Luke stopped spinning his wrench for a moment to think. “Okay, alright, maybe my uncle complains about it sometimes but that’s what he gets for making me check all the vaporators on my own. Anyway, I talk a lot and so does this chat. Lots of people joining in here! Hi!”

Luke looked through the chat, returned greetings and explained how he had gotten the droid as payment for helping out in a repair shop.

“And I know the owner thought he was just giving me so boring little plaything, but do you know how versatile these MSE droids are?”

X

Leia definitely knew how useful they could be. She grinned when Luke comically shook his head when people began sending in question marks and began belittling the tiny Mouse droids. They made excellent spies, infiltrators and guides. Underestimating them just because they were cute was fatal. Leia was happy when Luke reacted as outraged as she was and began elaborating on what the droids could be used for.

X

“And like, I get sending the droids back when they trigger your instincts, I wouldn’t keep around a droid that reminds me of a womp rat or a krayt dragon.” Luke paused, the half-open mouse droid lying on his lap, and apparently considered his suggestions.

“Okay, maybe I would actually want them. Could you imagine a droid krayt dragon? So cool.”

Luke reached for the nearest datapad and took a few notes, then put it next to him on the table and returned to working on the MSE.

“But yeah, point being: Why did the Aar’aa sell them to the Empire so cheaply? Add some extra software and boom, you can sell them for twice the price. Then you’d even make a bonus. Oh, well, I suppose the Empire at least made a good deal there.”

The MSE droid laid bare now and Luke could easily access its memory. He took his datapad once more and connected it to the droid. After a few seconds, he had access to its memory and immediately frowned.

“Or it did not. What is this programming? I researched what I could find before, downloaded some protocols-“ Luke looked away from his datapad to point down, “-links in the description as always. But just- honestly. Who wrote this protocol?”

He gently knocked his head against the droid’s frame. “I’m so sorry, don’t worry, I’ll speed up your processors.”

X

The next hour, Leia spent listening to Luke ramble on about what changes he made and why. Once or twice she even threw her own suggestions in the chat and watched contently as Luke picked up on them and began to work with them. She wished she didn’t have so many duties and could spend her days doing things she actually wanted, take a more active role in the rebellion. But she supposed that as long as she could escape annoying politicians for a while, she’d be fine.

Leia glanced at her chrono. While it appeared to be midday still on Tatooine, it was already early morning for her. She should head to sleep soon.

Thankfully, the livestream was also wrapping up. Luke had reassembled the droid and screwed the last bolt down.

 “And done!” Luke said and helped up the repaired Mouse droid. “A Quick And Easy Guide to Mouse Droids. Now, the only thing left is repainting and naming it. Same rules as always, highest donator gets to choose the color and the name.”

Leia watched as a lot of people began donating. Some just threw in five credits, just to support the channel. She’d done so before as well. It was only right to help somebody else and give him a thanks after cheering her up. Leia typed the first one, then stopped.

She was tired, had been for at least thirty minutes now, but her mind was finally calm as well. She was still and upset, but not so that she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Leia shouldn’t waste her allowance on this, but Leia had also had a terrible horrible no-good day and wanted to name that Mouse Droid.

X

“And that was it!” Luke announced. “Many thanks for all your donations. I’ll keep you posted on what my next project will be. Hopefully something a little more interesting than this little buddy here. Now let’s see… The highest donation is one- one thousand credits from @rebelroyal!?”

Luke’s voice was awfully high-pitched, shock visible all over his face. “Is this real- oh gosh. Thank you so, so much! I’m not sure- Many thanks for supporting this channel! You may name any future Mouse Droids I come across, oh Force. Right. Uhm. What is your suggestion?”

Leia eyes her discarded white dress on the floor and chose.

X

History’s eyes on you @ rebelroyal

Paint it white and name it Emmy! Many thanks for all the lovely content you provide.

Little Emmy, it turned out, look much better in white than it did in the awful black so representative for the Empire.

X

[Notification: Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot has mentioned you in a new post]

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I have adopted 4 more mouse droids to keep our ship clean!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

[Foto: Five Mouse Droids standing in front of Luke, who was sitting on the ground, smiling cheerfully. The droid in the middle was Emmy. It was a little banged up and had a couple more scratches. On its right were an orange and a blue droid, freshly painted from the looks of it. On Emmy’s left were two black ones]

@ rebelroyal The orange and blue ones have been painted and named already, care to do the honors for the other two?

X

Leia smiled fondly at the picture and began to type.

History’s eyes on you @ rebelroyal

How about yellow and green? Benny and Penny so it rhymes?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Done :D

[Foto: The two previously black mouse droids have been painted as well and are furiously cleaning the floor of a ship]

[sir-crocodile-smile]

I promise, last set of questions for the Punching Bag, if it's alright with you please ignore this if it's too much, oh and please rest up since I've been continuously asking you this, I'm sorry and thank you! :3

If Kid did found out before they broke up, what do you think he'll do?

Killer is a smart fellow, didn't he realize what his ex s/o does to him is wrong?

If that topic wasn't known to the crew and his ex s/o was still in the ship when reader finally arrived and get together with him, what do you think will happen?

How did the break up go with ex s/o? More shouting and punching and blaming Killer??

When reader finally confronted Killer about his past in your fic, did it finally dawn on Killer that 'Yeah.. that was more messed up than whatever Kid throws up in the toilet..'?

What mindset was in Killer's mind when he was with his ex is it a) they're weaker than I am so I should just let them hit me or b) I deserve it, it's my fault or c) if I don't let them hit me they'll think I don't love them and they'll break up with me

Thank you again! 💖💖 And I hope Killer's abusive ex trip down and scrape their knee :3

Hi again! I don’t mind it! In fact, you can message me privately to talk more if you want. These answers got pretty long so bear with me! As always, Potentially triggering stuff goes under the cut. If you’re not into angst, please scroll on by, I promise I won’t be upset if you don’t read this.

It broke my heart writing these because I love Killer so much... I’m so sorry bby!!

TW: Domestic abuse, mental/emotional abuse, angst, be prepared to be so sad for Killer

If Kid did found out before they broke up, what do you think he'll do?

Like I said, mans snaps. He would want to murder Killer’s s/o, and he would need a lot of convincing in order to not immediately resort to violence. If he manages to be calmed down, it would be because Heat and Wire are there and volunteer to help because they care about Killer too. Kid doesn’t deal with feelings well, so he would need some help in figuring out how to approach the situation with Killer. Likely, Heat and Wire would be assigned to have a sort of intervention with Killer to talk about what’s been going on and help him. Kid would definitely corner Killer’s abusive s/o and say “I know what you did to Killer. Get the hell off my ship and never return, or I’ll make you wish you were never born.”

Killer is a smart fellow, didn't he realize what his ex s/o does to him is wrong?

A person’s intelligence has nothing to do with it. I can’t stress that enough. Abusive relationships don’t start with violence, and abusers don’t walk around with neon signs over their heads to let people know they’re an asshole. Abusive relationships start like any relationship, and slowly become abusive over time. It can be hard for anyone to recognise early warning signs, no matter how smart they are. 

Abuse doesn’t start out as physical, it starts as mental/emotional and slowly morphs into something physical. Killer has a lot of insecurities and probably wouldn’t think he’s worthy of his s/o’s love in the first place, so it’s not a far reach to twist that self-loathing into a cage that traps him in an abusive situation. I also think that Killer, who didn’t have a loving childhood, is someone who desperately craves love and affection, even if it’s a crumb. So by the time Killer was first hit by his ex, he probably thought he was so lucky to be “loved” that it was easy to forgive a singular outburst of anger. Then it became a pattern, and he got used to it. He’d do anything for his s/o, for their “love”, so what’s a couple bruises? He’s a big, tough guy. He can take it. (my god, this is breaking my heart… ;-; my sweet pasta boy, ily bby)

If that topic wasn't known to the crew and his ex s/o was still in the ship when reader finally arrived and get together with him, what do you think will happen?

I honestly don’t think his ex would stay with the crew after they break up because that’s a death sentence. If Killer tells anyone what happened, the whole crew will be out for blood and Killer’s ex would be lucky to die quickly. Like, not even divine intervention could save their ass from the wrath of the Kid Pirates. Plus, being Killer’s ex on the Victoria Punk is the definition of a hostile work environment. Killer would be crushed after the breakup, even if he initiated it, and that turns his ex into Eustass Kid’s number one enemy. He would make their life a living hell even if he didn’t know the full extent of what happened. 

How did the break up go with ex s/o? More shouting and punching and blaming Killer??

If Killer initiated the breakup, it would be because his self-loathing took hold and convinced him that his ex deserved better than him. He would push them away even though it broke his heart to do it. This would definitely get Kid’s attention, and he’d want to know what was going on. Kid would definitely confront the ex about it, like “What did you do to him? What did you say? I’ve never heard him talk so badly about himself, how dare you do this to him!” If the ex just decides to leave, Kid won’t waste any energy on the ex and will try to help Killer (with Heat and Wire’s help, of course). And if the truth comes out… it’s murder time. 

If the s/o initiated the breakup, I think it would be because they are interested in someone else or got tired of traveling with the Kid Pirates. They’re not a good person, so they’d probably just pack up and leave, not saying goodbye but leaving a breakup letter for Killer. This would shatter the man. He always felt like he was never good enough for them, and now this was proof. Thank goodness he has his crewmates to help him through it, because he needs it.

When reader finally confronted Killer about his past in your fic, did it finally dawn on Killer that 'Yeah.. that was more messed up than whatever Kid throws up in the toilet..'?

I think Killer knows that his ex was shit, but didn’t really realize they were abusive until after the interaction in “Punching Bag”. At first he doesn’t understand why he was so emotionally compromised after the reader told him that they would never hit him. He’s overwhelmed and confused as painful memories flood back to him, and he needs some time to sort through things before he can talk about it. Eventually I think he would have a breakdown where he confesses what happened in his last relationship because he realizes now how badly he was treated by his ex, and it hurts him so much because they took advantage of his trust and love. He convinced himself that things weren’t as bad as they seemed to try to cope, but he can see things clearly now that he’s in a good relationship. There will be a lot of long nights where he needs comfort as the healing process begins. He needs reassurance that you don’t think any less of him for what he went through, reassurance that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and that you really meant it when you said you’d never hurt him. Lots of cuddles, gentle kisses on his forehead, and combing your fingers through his hair to calm him down when things get really hard for him.

What mindset was in Killer's mind when he was with his ex is it a) they're weaker than I am so I should just let them hit me or b) I deserve it, it's my fault or c) if I don't let them hit me they'll think I don't love them and they'll break up with me

Ah, this will truly break my heart. It’s a little bit of all three, and some extra sadness. He’s strong, so he thought he could take anything his ex dished out. He also would blame himself for whatever made his ex angry because he already feels unworthy of their “love”. Additionally, he felt that no one but his ex could ever love him and was so afraid that they’d leave him that he put up with pretty much anything.

Here’s an example of poor Killer’s thought process during that dark time: “It’s not a big deal, just a black eye. I wouldn’t be a pirate if I couldn’t take a couple hits. They just get angry sometimes, but that’s because they care. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t get so upset that I’m such a fuck-up. God, I’m such a fuck-up, why do they even love me? I can’t even show people my face because I’m a freak, and they love me anyway. What’s wrong with me? Why do I always test their patience like this? I’ll do anything to make it up to them. I’ll be their punching bag, I don’t care. I can take it. I deserve it anyway.”

And now I’m going to cry about this headcanon all day, my sweet pasta boy...