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princessamericachavez · 4 years ago

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Fjorester in the Bjreaus talk

It’s yelling about Fjorester hours. I haven’t done this breakdowns in a while but there’s so much to analyze in that Bjreau’s talk and so much subtext and admissions and feelings in Fjord’s explanations that I really need to go step by step

this is mostly focused on the Fjorester side of the conversation because so many people have already broken down the BY in it and maybe i will too later but for now let me focus on my main OTP because wow

Beau: So…. Jester

Fjord: *pikachu panic*

Fjord: There it comes. I was wondering when that melodic intro was gonna hit.

Fjord: J-J-Jester?

THE WAY HE STUTTERS HER NAME. IM SO SOFT.

Beau: You know what I’m gonna ask, dude, right? Like, what’s the deal?

Fjord, still deflecting: when you come with the ‘dude’, yes, I know what you wanna as.

Fjord, getting serious suddenly: What? What about Jester?

THAT’S THE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT ON UR CRUSH AND UR TRYING TO PLAY IT COOL BUT YOU’RE FREAKING OUT ENTIRELY

I MEAN THAT SMILE

Beau:

Fjord:

Beau:

THEY BOTH KNOW. THEY ARE JUST DARING THE OTHER TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

Beau, finally giving in: You know how she feels about you. Or, at least, how she did. I don’t know if she still does.

*Fjord, immediately, starts touching his mouth in that nervous mannerism he always has when his image insecurities are brought up, like he wants to hide his tusks*

*i start quietly sobbing*

Fjord: I don’t either! I have no idea.

DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING ABOUT FJORD, AFTER 108 EPISODES, ACKNOWLEDGING ALL THE FLIRTING JESTER USED TO DO AND THE FACT THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW IF THAT’S STILL THE CASE?

HE’S NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED THAT BEFORE

Fjord: I’m actually the less clued in as to how Jester feels. I actually tried to… ask, but I don’t know.

WHEN FJORD? YOU HAVEN’T ASKED. SO WHEN DID YOU TRY? WHEN DID YOU WANT TO AND DIDN’T? WHAT CONVERSATION WAS YOU CAREFULLY TRYING TO SEE IF SHE STILL LOVES YOU? I NEED ANSWERS

Beau: You have to kinda be direct with Jester. Like, if you tried to side-step it-

Fjord: I get that. It’s just that there are more pressing matters at hand

I KNEW HE WASN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING DURING TC BECAUSE SHE’S SO STRESSED ALREADY AND HE WANTS HER TO HAVE HER TIME AND ALL THEIR SUPPORT WITHOUT ADDING STRESS

Fjord: And… I feel like I’m the fourth version of myself since I left Port Damali. And I feel like it could change again in a month or three months. I feel as if the ground is shifting underneath my feet every few nights that I wake up. And it’s crazy, I actually love cause it’s all been for the better, it no matter how crazy it’s been, but what I wanted when this all began is so far in the past I can’t… I forget about it sometimes. It comes for me in the middle of the night. But… Jester is hard to ignore.

I HAVE (as you might expect) SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE LITTLE MONOLOGUE

FJORD SUMMING UP SO MUCH OF HIS ARC AND HOW HE’S STILL NOW TRYING TO FIND HIMSELF AND WHO HE REALLY IS AND HOW HE KEEPS CHANGING AND GROWING

but clearly that lack of stability, as much as it thrills him, it also makes him anxious, not knowing who he will be next and what he will believe and what he will want

AN ALLUSION TO HIS DEATH THAT WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT BUT CLEARLY —CLEARLY— IS STILL IN HIS MIND AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADRESS ASAP PLS

And then, right there after the nod to his death, Jester comes back into the statement. Fjord describes the changes and turmoil in his life like all of that is already too much to also focus on love… and then says but she’s still there, in my mind, by my side, all the time. In that mess of these pasts few months, Jester is his lighthouse

Beau: Yeah, no. I- I know! I’m pretty certain literally everyone has a crush on her.

Fjord *panics like that Joey meme*: WHAT?

Beau: Like, at least all of Mighty Nein. I don’t know, though, but I’m pretty sure everyone she meets is like ‘well, I’d maybe kill for you, yeah’

Fjord: No, yeah, I totally agree with.

ME TOO BJREAUS. ME TOO.

Fjord: No, I- where is she?

I’M SO SAD THAT FJORD MISSED HIS PERCEPTION FOR HER BECAUSE I WONDER WHY TRAVIS WANTED TO KNOW SO BADLY

I HAVE THE FEELING THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE OTHER THAN BEING CAREFUL SHE WOULDN’T HEAR HIM

Fjord: I...

LOVE HER? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY FJORD WHAT

THIS PAUSE IS SO LONG IT’S AGING ME

Fjord: You know when someone makes you feel a way that you don’t think you have any right to feel? Or you never thought that you might?

I AM SCREAMING

FJORD

BABY

WHY DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE EVEN ALLOWED TO LOVE HER

WHY NOT??

YOU DESERVE LOVE AND TO BE LOVED AND YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN LOVE HER LIKE PLS TRAVIS WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ALL THIS PINING MY ROMANTIC ASS CAN’T HANDLE THIS

BUT ALSO LOOK AT THAT SMILE

HE’S SO IN AWE WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS AND HAPPINESS

Fjord: And that feels... off... because I should know how I feel or what I want!

*low wisdom frustration intensifies*

Fjord: But... there’s a gravity around Jester, at least to me, and she’s the one I’ve known longest in this new part of my... life. And I really thought that when this started there would be an end for me in this, and I would get even or retribution or payback and then I’d be... done. And it hasn’t been that way at all! It shriveled up and died and in its place seven new interests sprouted and...

[i can’t type the whole Academy thing, im too tired and this is so long already but what a great throwback]

Listen listen listen tho

i wanna talk about this

i wanna talk about fjord noticing jester’s crush and not acting on this because he was convinced the m9 were temporary

i want to talk about a part of him always feeling like this will eventually end and be ripped away from him and how then it kept going and going

and this woman he met was just such a steady and supportive presence in his life through it all that finally, finally after months, he can’t deny that she’s part of his life for good??

but that also explains what he said before and how he’s afraid that he’ll change again and lose this

like, there’s SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE GUYS SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR EARLY HISTORY AND WHERE THEY STAND NOW

Fjord: I... I... I want Jester to be happy.

Fjord: I do feel v-v-very strongly for her.

FJORD LOOK SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIMSELF AS HE —WHO IS KNOWN FOR HIS SILVER TONGUE— STRUGGLES TO PUT INTO WORDS HIS FEELINGS AND KEEPS FREAKING STUTTERING SO MUCH IM SO

Fjord: But I also know, when this began, her affections might have been based entirely on whimsy... I don’t know!

I AM LIVING FOR THIS ANGST

FIRST OF ALL: SECOND CONFIRMATION THAT FJORD NOTICED ALL THE FLIRTING

SECOND OF ALL: HIS INSECURITIES COMING FORTH AND TELLING HIM MAYBE SHE NEVER LIKED HIM ANYWAY

THIRD AND FOREMOST: I FREAKING LOVE THIS TROPE OF PINING SWITCHAROO AND THE WAY THIS REFLECT JESTER’S DOUBTS DURING THE PIRATE ARC ABOUT MAYBE FJORD NOT BEING WHO SHE FIRST MET AND THE WAY THEY KEEP SECOND GUESSING THEIR OWN JUDGMENT OF EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW EACH OTHER THE BEST

AND LISTEN LISTEN IM JUST

this is the perfect parallel to her talk with caleb in darktow ok

and im fucking living for this angst and this doubts and to see fjord yearn for her the way she did for so long

WHAT A DELICIOUS DYNAMIC

Fjord: And I don’t really feel like asking, either. I almost don’t wanna... know.

THAT HESITATION DESTROYS ME SO MUCH

FJORD IS SO SCARED TO RUIN THINGS, TO LOSE HER, TO HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT HIS FEELINGS AREN’T RECIPROCATED

but here’s the thing. He’s ok with that. He doesn’t expect her to love him back, doesn’t need her to feel the same way. Fjord is just happy loving her and being her friend and being here to support her and make her happy. That’s enough.

How selfless is that? How absolutely romantic and painful and heartfelt?

I love this so much. This love isn’t possessive nor demanding. All he wants, all he really asks for, is the chance to make sure she’s happy and safe.

He requires nothing in return. Being around her light and showering in her warmth are enough. She’s already given him so much support, he can’t ask more... certainly not love in the way he would want, in the way he would hope, because life has never told him he’s worthy of such thing —not a monster like him— so why would she?

Fjord: I just like it and, to me, as long as she’s alright...

hOW MANY TIMES BY NOW HAS FJORD SAID IN DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS “as long as she’s alright” “as long as she’s happy” “as long as she’s not getting hurt” “as long as she trusts him” HE KEEPS REPEATING IT LIKE IT’S THE ONE THING THAT TRULY MATTERS TO HIM IN THE WORLD IM-

Fjord: It seems like this is not a permanent... thing. It’s not like we’re gonna leave her in this island and we’re gonna just go off which I was worried about before, but it sounds like it’s all... for show and it might be the Nein again after all this.

HEAR ME OUT

FJORD WAS WORRIED ABOUT JESTER LEAVING

ABOUT JESTER STAYING HERE

ABOUT JESTER TAKING OFF WITH THE TRAVELER AND NOT LOOKING BACK

and we know that was a possibility right?

BUT I THINK BACK TO THE VERY FIRST TIME SHE MENTIONED THIS (iirc it was after the giants fight way back during their second xhorhasian mission) HE SEEMED CONCERNED ABOUT JESTER GOING FOR GOOD. THERE WAS A HESITATION THERE

But really I wanna know how long... how long has Fjord been worried about her leaving, about loosing her... how much of what’s been going on has been him —without saying it— concerned that she’s about to leave the group, how many of their interactions and conversations (”i’m glad you’re here”, “we are happy to have you”, all the talks about disappearing and leaving the sad parts of the world behind) had him secretly concerned that she would soon leave??

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED IN THE LATER HALF OF THE EPISODE

Fjord: and then, I don’t know what. I wanna explore the world! I want to see the lands we haven’t seen! I want to find the things that people are scared of and solve them or do what everyone else needs to do...

Fjord: but....... I- I hope- I hope she’s a part of that

I’M SCREAMING PLS BOY HE’S SO IN LOVE AND ALL BUT CONFESSING IT HELP ME PLS

the way he deflates and gets very quiet and earnest as he admits this????

im sobbing

[im not gonna get on Beauyasha territory because as much as that made me want to scream too this is soooo long already that i feel like that deserves a meta on its own]

i do wanna point out that fjord definitely seemed kinda jealous when Beau started describing her former crush on Jester

Like, he’s so excited to talk about her and Yasha but when Beau brings past feelings into this you can feel a note of panic and defensiveness as he says

Beau: so I definitely had a crush on Jester, just since we’re drunk and we can be...

Fjord: when you said it before, it was like a thing... you had a real crush on Jester?

Beau: well, she’s so enigmatic, like you said and she just like... she’s got this way... just when she talks...

Fjord:

Fjord: I’m talking about Yasha! You can go back to Yasha! It’s- uhm-

HE’S SO ANNOYED IM LAUGHING SO HARD

also fun thing

it’s similar to when he’s reacted to the traveler before and jester calling artagan handsome lmfao

im just saying

and I like that he’s being supportive and he listens and all, even when Beau brings Jester back up... but then he confirms that Beau’s feelings for Yasha are deeper than for Jester and he definitely seems happy with that answer, both for Beau’s happiness (you know Fjord is so excited about these two since forever but especially the way he asks when he turns the tables on Beau he’s so excited for her!) but also because maybe it means one less chance that his own feelings won’t be reciprocated? like an... “alright, so we are good? with this? this is not going to hurt your feelings if i.. if i do love her?” and i think that’s very sweet? like regardless he’s gauging the depth of Beau’s feelings in this regard and I think if she confessed something deeper he would, heartbrokenly, step back and let her have a chance... especially since he’s happy just loving Jester from afar

ANYWAY

I WILL KEEP YELLING ABOUT THIS CONVO IN MY CORNER

AND OTHER MOMENTS THAT I WILL PROBABLY BREAK DOWN LATER

BUT THAT’S ALL FOR NOW

OKAY THAT’S A LOT OF YELLING

bye

#fjorester #fjord stone #jester lavorre #beauregard lionett #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense #bjreaus

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cassyapper · 4 years ago

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loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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lesbianbending-moved · 4 years ago

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okay so i haven’t watched LOK yet bc i’ve been so scared to ( i’m obsessed w atla don’t hate me) since it first came out & ppl hate on korra so much & say ur better off just not watching it. but from what i’ve seen on ur account u seem to be a bigger fan of LOK than ATLA... why so? (no disrespect to lok at all i just want to know why before i start watching it bc i’ve heard so many bad things about it) thank you! 🥺♥️ love your account!

hi! thank u sm!! i wouldn’t say i like lok more than atla, i love them both for different reasons!! it just depends on the vibe i’m in (recently i’ve been in a lok vibe can you tell). i think there are parts of atla that lok is much better at portraying and vice versa, but i don’t like comparing the two shows bc they are v v different (which is where a lot of the hate comes from). i’ll b honest, i was v hesitant to watch lok bc atla was the most formative show for me growing up but now i love it so much! i can’t say whether you will like the show bc everyone’s different but i will say if you go into the show hoping for an atla pt. 2 you won’t like it. if you are open to change in the atla universe and want something that feels familiar but also v different you will love it. i agree with the idea that lok is a more ‘grown up’ version of atla, and for that reason i want to (as objectively as i can) give a brief breakdown of the differences b/w both shows:

PLOT:

this is the first HUGE deviation: atla is very character driven where lok is very plot driven.

each has it’s pros and cons, but bc the plot changes with each season of lok while the show remains plot driven this leads to some characters feeling underdeveloped. this wasn’t necessarily the writers’ faults, they went into each season not knowing if it would be the last, so there isn’t a whole lot of time to have character driven episodes like atla’s ‘tales of ba sing se’ or ‘appa’s lost days’. which leads me to!

CHARACTERS:

here’s the honest truth - lok has much deeper, complicated, and developed female characters than atla. both in numbers and in growth, lok succeeds at this.

lok is v woman-centric with many women of all ages who have complicated relationships with themselves, their family, their loved ones, etc. they don’t try to make their women likeable or perfect, they are all allowed to be loud and angry and right and wrong and they’re allowed to make mistakes and grow. they’re people. even if a character doesn’t have entire episodes dedicated to them, they still have arcs that span seasons and make them feel like real people. the women of lok made me realize how much more we could have had from the women of atla (not that they aren’t amazing or well developed, it’s just deeper characterization)

korra has an arc that rivals zuko. i could go into it but i don’t want to give spoilers :^) and even parallels him in an episode in book 4 called ‘korra alone’ (the best lok episode sorry).

for this reason every woman in my life who has seen all of lok has loved it (actually i am the only woman i know who doesn’t have a preference of lok over atla)

VILLAINS:

the villains in lok are much more complicated than in atla. they all are compelling and make us ask questions about ourselves as the villains hold ideals that we all believe in but take them to extremes. for example:

if a group of people feel they are being persecuted and demand equality, how far is too far? what if a group has genuine grievances but resorts to violent guerilla warfare and terrorism against innocents as that is the only way to gain equality?

what if a new leader arises who wants to take down a monarchy that has only brought pain and suffering to a country? what if this new leader truly loves their country and will do anything to ensure everyone prospers after centuries of the rest of the world allowing them to be degraded by idiotic monarchs? what if this new leader who is wildly popular among the masses becomes a dictator? do you replace the dictator who loves their country and has made true strides in progress for an airhead monarch with no idea of how to rule a country?

WORLDBUILDING

this is where lok loses a lot of people who are atla purists (this and the plot driven nature of the show where they are attached to atla being character driven)

lok takes place 70 years after atla and it shows! the world has grown! it has changed! the places that look the same (ba sing se and the earth kingdom villages) are shown to be poorly led and in political disarray. they didn’t evolve in the last 70 years because there was no leadership to move them forward.

the first thing i noticed (outside of the snazzy 20s music) was the bending. i’m gonna be honest, i did not like the bending at first. atla shows bending as a very classical art form, so to see it has changed so much in lok worried me at first. once i began to appreciate the attention to detail as to how a world evolves, i realized that the changes in bending are one of the coolest parts of the show.

it’s not completely different. it’s just different enough where you can see the logical progression of time that would come through in the real world. it makes sense for lightning bending to become more common! it makes sense for more people to know metalbending as toph teaches a new generation of earth benders who continue to pass it on to others! it makes sense for the styles of bending to have changed in places because it’s a living art!

looking back on it, the bending feels like this: atla bending is like reading a classic like jane austen or shakespeare where lok bending feels like reading a contemporary novel. you can see the resemblance, you can see where the younger generation gets their inspiration, but the language has evolved. it’s so cool.

i got your other ask and i will answer it separately as i don’t want to make this unbearably long!! i hope this helps!

EDIT: just wanted to add real quick that bc they have the same creators and writers the writing of lok feels v similar to the writing of atla! it has the same charm and depth while also showing growth. so you don’t need to worry about the writing styles/characterizations feeling totally unbalanced. anyways!

EDIT AGAIN: if you don’t mind v minor spoilers i reccomend watching the trailers for book 3 and book 4. they don’t give away much but give a good idea of the tone of the show and might give a better insight as to if it’s for you

#long post #Anonymous

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rhydium · 4 years ago

Note

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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emsartwork · 5 years ago

Text

Magic Masterpost

ok this is gonna be super long so under the cut

OK so these are the main four types of magic, magic can mostly be categorized into these four types but there are some exceptions that don’t fit the mold but there are still sciencey things we cant explain so (ball lighting, the 9th planet etc) so whatever.

Core Magic is like another organ that belongs to individual beinigs that have a certain level of consciousness (humans, merfolk, elves, pixies and sprites, leprechauns, dragons) some beings that don’t have core magic, but do have the same level of consciousness as humans are discriminated against (trogs, vampires, ogres, trolls etc). Animals and plants do not posses core magic or the consciousness level characteristic of core magic users. They do sometimes have magical abilities but this is thought to be a side affect of either wild or natural magic sources.

Natural Magic is magic that is found in plants, minerals, water, and other non-conscious things. Usually is centrally localized and flows outward like a stream. has a large area of influence and natural sources can interact with each other with minimal conflict. good examples are the Tree of Magic(birthplace of the pixies and sprites and is linked to the core magic users in the universe), the Second Sun of Solaria(a source of warmth, solar light, and growth on Solaria), the pillars in the Infinite Ocean, Tir Nan Og and the sources I talked about with the earth fairies. Planets have a lot of natural sources and locations with out natural magic are rare(the wildlands in season 2 are unique to Magix and have a special magic suppressing aura)

Wild Magic is connected to natural magic but has its own unique section because its effects are so extreme. Natural sources can become wild sources in a defense mechanism, and some natural sources have a dependable cycle between wild and natural(ex. zenith’s core). Otherwise Wild sources are centrally localized around the same objects natural sources are, but can transfer to spirits and animals as well. Wild magic has a much smaller area of influence, and most animals will clear out of a place with a lot of wild magic because their instincts are like “danger????”, there are rarely multiple wild magic sources in the same area, and if there are they don’t interact well. Wild magic sources are a necessary part of nature, functioning like volcanic eruptions or geysers and relieving magical pressure on the planet. If a wild source isn’t treated with respect and is messed with (ex kalshara) it becomes severely unstable and instead of a potentially dangerous source in small doses it become a downright hazard with far reaching bolts of magic. This is the only reason Fractix exist lol.

Ethereal Magic is something you do not want to mess with. It’s basically the most powerful type of magic, and is theorized to be the actual creative force behind the universe. The great dragon and the shadow phoenix used up most of their ethereal magic creating the universe, other ethereal magic holders didn’t participate much lol

This chart says human but really its the development of any creature with a core magic. Babies have zero magic but needs ambient magic (a mix of all the magics just kind of around) in order to develop further(0-10). Children will start to develop their magic in short, unpredictable bursts, its normal for their signature color to shift a lot in this stage, they can begin to learn magic theory but their magic isn’t firm enough or powerful enough to produce any results when spell casting (10-15). Young adults are fully developed magic wise (generally they are still younger age wise and not as practiced but their Core is the same as any adults) their core and signature color are set and don’t really change(exceptions to that below) this is usually when a person begins to practice their magic.(16-25)

Ok so here are the basic differences between female and male magic. female magic stays within the core and body, only reaching outward when directed by the person. Male magic absorbs ambient magic, processing it through the core and letting it flow outward. Female magic users need to learn how to direct their magic outward in order to use it. Male magic users need to learn how to contain their magic in order to use it. its really easy to overwhelm female magic users and fights between two female magic users are either over v quickly, or have a TON of dodging. A fight between two male magic uses is dependant on how much magic the two already have stored (stamina kind of) and how much they can force themselves to absorb from their surroundings(ex, Nabu was naturally more resilient to absorbing and channeling magic than the rest of the group which is why he volunteers to close the black circle, unfortuntely the wizards had packed SO MUCH magic into their circle that when he did manage to close it, his core was overwhelmed and he died :( if say, aisha had volunteered to close it, her core would have been overwhelmed more quickly and she would have died with out closing it.

Intersex peeps!!! ok so, just as a disclaimer, I’m not intersex, if you wanna talk to me about anything I say here feel free to send and ask for direct message!! it would be really easy to align Core magic with sex organs, but because one is more “spiritual” an the other is physical its a little different. Intersex people are Intersex from birth, but Intersex Magics only manifest at magic puberty(the child stage in the previous chart) and varies a lot from person to person. An intersex person could have either classically female magic or classically male magic or any of the four examples in the image, but any number of manifestations are possible. So I know Intersex people are subjected to unnecessary “corrections”, but i want to make it clear that Intersex Magic is ONLY changed if it is actually causing harm to the person. The painful and dangerous examples are life threatening in the long term, and usually begin as one of the healthy examples. Being able to produce and absorb, but looping the two into each other is unsafe because the core is literally eating itself(eventually resulting in death). Being to absorb but not expel is dangerous because the magic buildup can cause pain and eventually crack the outer membrane of the core resulting in death.

Trans peeps!! again as a disclaimer, I’m cis, if ur trans and ya wanna drop me a line about any of this please do! So Trans dudes and trans ladies have to wait for their core magic to grow in naturally before transitioning(some trans peeps are cool with not transitioning their magic obvi) but they would see a magic medical person, receive “hormones for magic basically” and begin transitioning. The whole process can take about a year but only about 4 months of that leave the person with low magic and physical weakness, and even then it depends on the person.

So these are the traditionally masculine magical practices. Unlike witches and fairies they don’t decide their practice until they’ve gone through basic training (the white, grey and black stages) and it most depends on what magic the person likes to absorb and where/how they store collected magic. Male magic users can use fairy transformations, but they have to be much more prepared and keep a lot of stored magic on them.

The fairy and witch paths are traditionally feminine, but the labels can be used by any gender obvi(same with the masc magic user labels). The witch path has two stages before deciding their profession, and the outfits are just uniforms or items associated with the profession. The fairy transformations are outfits specific to the transformations and are linked together in a way that makes it necessary to earn certain transformations before others, where as witches can jump professions as much as they want lol. The purple transformations here are the ones the trix used, and while they aren’t fairy(because no wings) they aren’t witch either because the transformation actually generates the outfits, they’re kind of shunned among both communities even though they have tremendous potential and should be explored. Reaching Enchantix can only take 3 years at the shortest, but a lot of fairies prefer to spend 2 year reaching charmix, and then 3 years working up to enchantix(so a total of 5 years is an alfea norm). Witchcraft takes a lot longer to learn and doesn’t have the instant power boost fairycraft has, so each of the first three stages take 2-3 years(6 to 9 years is a cloudtower norm) this time frame also applies to the masculine magics, but usually the last half of it is the specialization(ex, nabu spent three years in white/grey/black and then was in his second year of specialization as a magician when he was introduced into the series.)

So because magic is being pushed out of the core for female magic users, it shows up physically on the body in a way that doesn’t seem to happen with male magic users. For female magic users who DON’T use fairy transformations this generally shows up in color around the eyes or hands. which is generally where most of the magic flows from. for fairies, wings marks are present on the back and are more individualized pattern wise but more natural color wise than witchmarks.

Fairy wings are solid/rubbery, and are the physical manifestation of a fairy’s core looping in on its self(think of a car battery). Once initiated, the fairy can stay in transformation for a fairly long time, but does eventually tire out, and the loop dissolves. However if the loop is broken too abruptly or by an outside force there can be negative results for the fairy(namely pain and magic blockage preventing transformation for a couple months to several years depending on how bad the break was). The wing retains its shape for about 24 hours, and then dissolves into ambient magic. If a fairy breaks her wings by a freak accident she can combat some of the magic blockage by eating her own wings(kind of gross sry lol). If however some one else eats the fairy’s wings they gain a magic boost and can unnaturally extend their life/keep their youth full looks(ex. the wizards of the black circle did this)

one of the manifestations of mer core magic is Morphix (yes aisha has this too) while it is considered a magic property, its technically a physical substance that conducts magic EXTREMELY well. Merfolk are usually not allowed to go to the surface until their morphix has grown in, and people with high levels of merblood in them often have to be in a very humid environment or literally spent most of their time in saltwater until their morphix grown in(ex. aisha had to have salt water baths every couple hours as a kid.)

Elves are another notable difference in core magic in that they are all linked to eachother. While this doesn’t transfer individual thoughts or damage or anything, it does allow individual elves to pull magic from elves who aren’t currently using their magic for more powerful spells. Elves can also sense large scale events that happen to the elf community as they happen but rarely are they clear on specifics(ex. when the ancestrals pulled all of domino into oblivion, the elves on other planets could feel the sudden disappearance) as a result Dominian elves are basically a seperate group now. Earth elves still have a loose connection to the elf community at large, and as earth enters into the magix dimension again they should strengthen it as elves marry and have offspring.

Pixies, Hobkies, and Sprites! So because i detailed intersex magix, I also wanted a companion species that represented intersex peeps. Pixies are born from the blossoms of the tree of life, Hobkies are from the trunk and somtimes branches, and Sprites from the roots. Hobkies used to just be called Sprixies, but people are pushing to have that changed as its just a combo of sprite and pixie and not unique to the species. Their wing and tail sizes are varied, but they usually have both, sometimes the wings are fleshy insect style wings, and sometimes the tail is made of the same stuff as magic.

Each species goes through a similar cycle, when a person is born a corresponding spot appears on the tree of magic, as the person grows their magic levels the spot gets bigger, once a certain level of magic is reached the companion is officially born. This happens for fairies at their first transformation, but depend on routine practice for everybody else.

One of the unique things about Natural magic is that people can actually bind their magic to it. Female magic users reach out with their magic and “tie” it to the magic thats stemming from the source. Male magic users form a loop with the source pouring magic in and absorbing magic out. forgot to draw it but Intersex peoples would use about the same techniques, it would just depend on what they leaned more toward/what they were more comfortable with.

Animals, having no core magic, are able to metabolize and evolve with exposure to wild magic unlike humans who’s core magic either flushes the wild magic out like a toxin or breaks(killing the human in the process). Kalshara is actually quite a revolutionary because she figure out a way to inject the human body/core with wild magic, with out her dying or the wild magic dissolving. but she’s a dick and didn’t respect people so her project never got financed or peer reviewed lol

ethereal fairies technically have a core, but because its made of ethereal magic they’re put into their own separate category. They seem to exist outside of time and space, and it’s unknown if its because of their nature or because they can wield ethereal magic. Ethereal fairies usually appear with a humanoid body and spears of light off their backs, which is why human fairies are even called fairies, but ethereal fairies come in a lot of different forms(they’re basically a cross between gods and high high fae). The three gifts can be used every 300 years, and are little bursts of ethereal magic that layers over whatever magic the recipient normally uses. It is unknown if the gifts grow somewhere, or if they are crafted by the ethereal fairies. Really powerful magic users sometimes get chosen to join the golden kingdom (whether they want to or not) usually these are “good” aligned people but some villains are theorized to be there too. The general consensus is that the golden kingdom is like a pet palace for the ethereal fairies who think the people people the put there are interesting little creatures. The ethereal fairies use to interact with people more frequently but have backed off in the last couple 1000. Fairies who have completed the Elementix can ask the ethereal fairies to give them Nymphix, but honestly there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme of reason to whether or not the ethereal fairies grant it or strip the person of their magic completely . Ethereal fairies also grant their power to non-fairies but it doesn’t manifest into a transformation. and usually the term “Ethereal” is put before their title (so like Griffin would be an Ethereal Sorceress.)

not much to say about these things. A long long time ago a massive dark spell was cast and created both Obsidian and Realite(i got tired of the “ix” so its “ite” now) Two pocket dimensions. Realite was originally the greater threat because it was just spewing magic everywhere so it was locked with the codex. Obsidian was originally thought to have only sucked magic in, but there have been some long term consequences that weren’t expected, one was the mutation of a dominion noble into Lord Darkar, the other was the slow death of planet Omega and the radiation effect on the three ancestral witches who were born there. (realite was locked so fast it didn’t have time to get any long term damage out in the world but its just as powerful)

so the dragon and the phoenix are *kind* of still ethereal which is why they’ve persisted as a power source and taken to specific bloodlines, but they aren’t anywhere near the full ethereal ones anymore. Dragon fire and Phoenix fire are two sides of the same coin, they kind of function as the equal opposite rule but not really. Their equal opposites are the water stars and the earth hearts respectively. The dragon flame bearer usually has light and creation powers, Bloom generally channels the fire aspect of her dragon flame, like hardcore. Daphne, when she held the dragon flame was less heavy on the flame and more on the creation side, she was especially good at summoning items and had a decent healing talent. The shadow flame bearer has been lord Darkar for..... a very long time lets just say that. But the Phoenix deals with shadow and destructive magic. Stealth, spell breaking, and straight up carnage are all possible magic focuses for a phoenix bearer (the shadow phoenix isn’t necessarily bad, just like the dragon flame isn’t necessarily good, they are attributes that change with the people they are tied to). The water stars were collected and stored in the golden kingdom a long time ago and as such don’t have a ton of lore. Bloom CANNOT touch them with out feeling at least mild pain and weakness. The water stars have incredible containment powers, being able to hold things within individual stars, and restrain a full powered dragon flame if used all together in a binding circle. The Earth Hearts are still in nature somewhere, buried deep in the ground. There are some theorized locations but they’re harder to get at than the water stars and as such no one has collected them all yet. Earth hearts are good for dispersing magic and breaking it down to bite sized pieces. Both Earth Hearts and Water Stars are technically destructible, but they will always “grow back” and regenerate in new locations and cannot be eradicated completely.

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ofmimzy · 4 years ago

Text

Tarrytown Sentence Starters: Part Two!

tw for alcohol mentions & v brief graveyard mention ! again, feel free to change pronouns to fit ur muses !!

“at first i’d go out to the bars, just by myself and just to drink.”

“i wasn’t good at starting conversations ‘round those guys, my tongue forever tied.”

“finally free of past inhibitions, finally free to play.”

“just stay home tonight, alright?”

“lock your door and pray that you make it through another day.”

“that’s okay, more time to play.”

“where you gonna stay?”

“start all over, life brand-new.”

“get out of the city, somewhere sorta pretty.”

“take the life you thought you knew and tear it apart!”

“to think, i really could.”

“a chance to change, to grow.”

“wondering where this will take me, loving the fact i don’t know.”

“down the stairs a world awaits alone, awake, aware!”

“maybe if i make it down the stairs.”

“up the stairs is sad and staid.”

“never believed i could fly down the stairs and out the door.”

“get in the car, turn on a tune. it’s not too far, we’ll be there soon.”

“out to the farm, fun afternoon.”

“we need some time, just you and me.”

“throw on some jeans and you will see me looking strong on a ladder.”

“we need a break, need some give and take.”

“we need some time on our own. time to relax and just be.”

“we can’t give up now, can’t just resign.”

“wow, okay. your timing’s not so good.”

“where’s my phone? shit, i can never find it.”

“plus, look outside. see that cloud? what if it rains?”

“might as well go visit him today.”

“stop. for once just listen, please. i’m leaving.”

“you know i love you in my own way but i just can’t stay here.”

“you’re a goddess, i’m a buffoon.”

“i’m sorry, i don’t want to fight but i think it’s just too late for us.”

“i’m all packed, i’ll call. i will, tonight.”

“what we need isn’t apples, we need time.”

“i mean time alone - away from one another.”

“we can work this out here.”

“talk off my ear, please, just stay.”

“it’s just a week or two - we need this.”

“don’t misread this, okay?”

“sure, take a minute - take a whole year! see if i care.”

“i play both sides of the field.”

“biased, i’m not. she needs me, he’s hot!”

“i think about you all the time.”

“now i’ll admit: that ‘kiss me’ bit was maybe all in my head.”

“i’m prepared to call the score.”

“i’m not just the glue the two pursue, i’m the rope in their tug of war!”

“the man in the middle is: me.”

“you feel it in the drop in fahrenheit.”

“a wise man lives in fear on this night every year.”

“stop it, you’re scaring him!”

“look what i got!”

“it’s like i can’t focus or breathe.”

“when you’re near, i think about all the things i’ve done right.”

“i’m aware that this is a lot to take in, it’s not fair to throw this on you.”

“this is the sanest i’ve been since i’ve moved here.”

“i’ve improved here, so can you.”

“so maybe the neighbors will talk, say we’re smiting the lord up above.”

“even i can’t get over the shock that i love you.”

“_____, i love you - i’m in love!”

“did you hear what i said?”

“do you have something to say?”

“when you’re near, i dream of the future we’ll share.”

“doubt and fear disappear when you’re near.”

“god it’s quiet with no one around.”

“just don’t think of what rests underground - all the bodies interred.”

“wonder if they all heard what he said to me.”

“i’d started to doubt some but looks like the outcome is bright!”

“why’s it so cold? where’d october go?”

“not very romantic… but he asked me to.”

“meet me tonight on the bridge.”

“i always feared it would never connect, romance eluded above me. now it’s appeared and i’ve felt its effect - turns out that someone can love me!”

“hand in hand we’ll run away from befores.”

“together we’ll weather wherever we steer!”

“mind is spacing. am i awake or have i died?”

“you’ve done this before, you’ll be alright.”

“some hallucination’s fine, no big deal.”

“he’ll hold me and i’ll kiss him and cry.”

“what was that in the distance?”

“i sounded like maybe––i don’t know.”

“who would care? who would notice if i turned up dead?”

“they’re too busy destroying the other one’s life.”

“anymore trick or treaters?”

“do you think we could go into the city next weekend?”

“nevermind, it was just an idea.”

“not moving on, not looking back, a life frustratingly flaccid.”

“last year’s mistake - i tried to break through the placid sheen.”

#sentence starter #sentence starters #rp sentence starters #rp starters #sentence pack #musical sentence starter #tarrytown #tarrytown sentence starters #;; “a spoonful of sugar” | asks/askmemes #alcohol tw

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violentviolette · 5 years ago

Note

So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things

first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.

But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)

So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)

1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by

a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)

katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.

b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)

I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.

He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.

2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories

a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)

I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no

b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)

this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.

so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others.

All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn’t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.

So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha headcanons #jack.speaks #anon #god i really did write a novel #im almost ashamed #almost

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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Not Nineteen Forever (14) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: hey hey hey! welcome to chapter 14 of n19f and thank u all so much for the love (and tears) over chapter 13. i’m sorry for breaking all ur hearts! hold tight to see where things go from here. the only way is up, right? as always plsssssssss send love and ur fav moments to my blog or to AQ! my fav food is delicious validation yum xoxo

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Brooke decided that she couldn’t give Vanessa what she was looking for, and headed to her flat to have an important conversation.

this chapter: the girls deal with the aftermath, Monet and her flatmates provide a distraction, and Scarlet has a revelation.

***

Scarlet looked at the door to the lecture theatre once, twice, three times, the biting of her nails an awkward accompaniment to her worrying. The clock seemed to tick in time with her heart, although she supposed it wouldn’t compare a bit to how Vanjie would be feeling.

Sighing deeply and drawing a little star on the edge of her notebook, Scarlet reflected on the events of the past few days. She and Yvie had been sitting watching some dumb Netflix show and procrastinating and had been contemplating what to have for dinner when a message came through on the old Branjie Sweepstake chat from Silky, Scarlet unable to believe it was her from the way she was typing.

Silky: Hey ladies so some of you prolly already know but Brooke ended shit with Vanjie earlier today. She’s pretty cut up about it understandably so just making you all aware so that none of you put your foot in it. Also just keep things on the chat as normal although V will prolly not be out at any nights out any time soon xxxxx

“Holy shit, Yves,” Scarlet had gasped, looking at her girlfriend who was also staring at her phone in shock.

“Well, fuck. She did it,” Yvie blinked at her phone, sighing heavily. There was a small pause of guilty silence, as if the pair of them were contemplating the knowledge they had withheld from Vanessa. Yvie gave a curt shrug. “Guess we can kiss goodbye to ending uni on a high, then.”

“Oh, Yvie, don’t be so selfish! We’ll all be fine, Silk’s trying to keep things as normal as she can for V’s sake!” Scarlet rolled her eyes at Yvie, her girlfriend ever the pessimist.

“Yeah, but you can’t deny things are gonna be a little bit awkward, babe. I’m not here for all that shit, we’re meant to be fully-functioning adults in, like, five months’ time. Not babies with drama issues.”

“The only baby with drama issues in our friendship group is me,” Scarlet raised an eyebrow, Yvie laughing and pulling her close. “We’ll all still be friends, Jesus. I’m just worried about V. God, I’m a shit friend, aren’t I? I knew this was coming and I sat by and let her think everything was fine-”

“You are not a shit friend,” Yvie insisted, squeezing Scarlet’s side so hard she felt her ribs might break. “I did the exact same. Besides, Vanessa’s an idiot if she didn’t see it coming. You can always tell when people are being off with you.”

“Hey, that’s unfair. You can tell that, but whether you choose to admit it to yourself or not is a different story,” Scarlet added thoughtfully. “Like if you started giving vibes that you wanted to break up with me. I feel like I would just lie to myself about it because I’d so desperately want it not to be true.”

“Aww, baby,” Yvie smiled, kissing the top of her head. “You’re adorable. You’re also dumped, by the way. Ha ha ha, dipshit. I broke up with you and you didn’t even know I was going to.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Scarlet thumped her girlfriend with a pillow.

After that, the pair of them had gone to Yvie’s living room in search of Nina, where they got two for the price of one- Nina and Brooke, sitting on the sofa, Nina talking gently to Brooke and the other girl staring so hard at the wall Scarlet was convinced she was going to rip a hole in the space-time continuum. They’d both sat down and spoken about the entire situation, but not in too much depth- Brooke explaining that her feelings towards Vanessa had changed, and she wasn’t sure she was what she wanted anymore.

“Wait, you weren’t sure? Do you not have to be pretty sure about something like that before you break up with someone?” Yvie had asked, her eyes narrowing. Nina had cast Yvie a glare and Brooke had tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling.

“I’m not really sure about any area of my life, Yves, so why should this be any different?”

Scarlet was jolted out of her daydream by the door to the lecture theatre swinging open, her heart rate rising only to find it plummeting again when two random girls from the course came through. A shot of adrenaline gripped Scarlet, however, when a girl traipsed in behind them that at first she didn’t recognise. Then swallowing a small bubble of horror as she approached Scarlet’s bench, she realised that the girl was Vanjie. Her dark hair hung like a witch’s over her face- matted and tangled with the frizz a telltale sign of Vanessa having slept in it and not bothered to brush it either. Her face was a pale, makeup-less mask with a decidedly grim, almost mournful expression. The outfit she was wearing was shapeless, a far cry from the ever-fashionable girl Scarlet knew she was, and the black joggers and huge navy jumper Vanessa had on could well have been the outfit she’d slept in. As Vanessa slid in beside Scarlet, she barely gave her eye contact.

“Hey babe,” Scarlet greeted her supportively, the other girl still not looking at her as she took her notebook out of her bag. “How’re you holding up?”

Vanessa gave a completely mirthless laugh as she scrambled at the bottom of her bag for a pen. “Aha. Not great, to be honest.”

Scarlet was hit by a wave of emotion. She reached out and squeezed Vanjie’s free hand. “Oh, Vanj, I’m so sorry.”

“Please-” Vanessa said, her voice choked and warped, two tears hitting the blank pad in front of her. “Please don’t be nice to me, it’s gonna set me off again.”

Scarlet could’ve cried herself at the state Vanjie was in. She watched their lecturer enter the hall and begin setting up. “Babe, we don’t have to stay here if you’re like this.”

Vanessa straightened herself up, tilted her head towards the sky and wiped two fingers under her lashes. “No, bitch. It’s been four days, I said I was coming to uni today and that’s what the fuck I’m going to do. The bitch might have broken my heart but I’ll be fucked if she’s taking a 2:1 from me either.”

Scarlet’s heart hurt a little hearing Vanessa talk about Brooke that way, but then reason kicked in and she supposed Vanessa wasn’t going to be down to shower Brooke with platitudes for the time being. She watched as Vanjie tilted her head back down, gravity doing little to stop more tears from rolling down her face. She gave a sniff and, in lieu of a tissue, wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jumper. Then, she used the other sleeve to mop up her tears.

“Stupid fucking cryin’, goddamnit,” Vanessa muttered angrily, growing frustrated with herself. Scarlet hurriedly reached into her own bag and brought out a small packet of tissues, wordlessly handing one to Vanjie. With gratitude, she blew her nose on it, the sudden noise causing a girl in the row in front of them both to turn around, her gaze lingering just a second too long on the crying Vanessa.

“What the fuck are you looking at, hoe? You want your face rearranged? You could fuckin’ do with it,” Vanessa snapped angrily, the girl quickly turning back around. Scarlet had had enough. In one movement she swept all of her and Vanjie’s things into her cavernous Hermes bag and shoved at her gently.

“C’mon. We can get the lecture notes later. You need a coffee and a talk,” she insisted, clamping a hand over Vanjie’s mouth as she opened it to protest. Scarlet rotated Vanessa’s shoulders towards the direction of the door and practically frog-marched her down the stairs and out of the door seconds before the lecture began.

“I need a fuckin’ wine and a talk,” Vanessa quipped, before the floodgates suddenly opened and the girl’s face crumbled like a ruin. Scarlet immediately crushed her in a hug. She rubbed her friend’s back and sushed her quietly as Vanessa’s chest heaved with sobs, her crying eerily quiet as if she had nothing left to give. Scarlet felt a wave of guilt crash against her, the thought of what she’d known and kept from Vanessa perhaps having been able to help the situation in some way being almost too much to handle. Just as she was about to let it out and confess it all to Vanessa she felt the girl take a huge deep breath and pull out of the hug. Her face was blotchy with red tear marks, but a small, albeit unhappy smile was plastered across her face.

“Sorry. It’s out now, no more cryin’. I promise,” Vanessa sighed, looking to the floor sheepishly.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Come on,” Scarlet slipped her arm through Vanessa’s, holding the girl up as if she was about to fall down. “Let’s go to the union. Then I can get a coffee and you can get a wine.“

They walked in somber silence, Scarlet giving Vanessa’s arm a supportive squeeze every now and then. She wondered what it would be like to feel how Vanessa was feeling in this moment. Like utter shit, obviously, Scarlet thought as she had to stop Vanessa from stepping into the path of a cyclist, so wrapped up was she in her own world. Somehow they reached the pub in the union without Vanessa suffering any fatal accidents. As Scarlet looked around and noted how quiet the place was, she felt relieved. At least they wouldn’t have any awkward run-ins with anyone they didn’t want to.

"I’m not even that in my feelings about it. Or no- I didn’t expect to be as in my feelings as I am,” Vanessa began, sitting down at a small table for two and shrinking into herself on the chair. “Like, we weren’t nothin’ serious or anything. So she technically didn’t even break up with me.”

“Yeah, but you still had a connection. That’s still shit to break off with someone,” Scarlet offered, shrugging her jacket off before she could give Vanjie her full attention.

“I know, but…ugh, I’m annoyed at myself, really. Like I shouldn’t have got so attached…but I thought maybe she…maybe we’d…whatever, I’m not makin’ sense,” Vanjie continued, shaking her head and running her hands through her hair to punctuate the end of her sentence.

“No, you are making sense! You’re totally valid. Of course you’re going to get your hopes up if you’re seeing someone that often and sleeping with someone that often,” Scarlet nodded, hoping she was reassuring her friend. There was a small silence where Scarlet wondered whether or not she should ask what she wanted to ask. “‘Ness, how did Brooke actually-”

“Dump me?” Vanessa gave another humourless laugh and shrugged, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands. “In the nicest possible way, obviously. Fuckin’ bitch, can’t even give me anythin’ to be mad at her for. She came to my flat. Sat me down and was just like…yeah, this isn’t working. I feel like we want different things, and I can’t give you what you want right now. Did the whole you’re an amazing person schtick but by then I’d stopped listenin’ cuz ya girl was tryna focus on not cryin’ in front of her. Succeeded, though. Until the second after she left, obviously.”

“Fuck, Vanessa, I’m so, so sorry,” Scarlet sighed, guilt consuming her.

“No, bitch, don’t be. It wasn’t your fault-”

“But, fuck, it might have been,” Scarlet began, Vanessa’s face growing alert and curious. She sighed, wondering if she’d regret her decision. “At Monet’s party…Yvie told me that Brooke had said to her she was having second thoughts about the pair of you.”

Vanessa narrowed her eyes slightly. Scarlet held her breath. She could see the cogs turning in her head. “But that was weeks ago.”

Scarlet clenched her stomach muscles. “Yes.”

Vanessa’s face grew into a snarl, and she gave a bark of a laugh. “Oh fuckin’ Jesus, it gets better. So not only has she sat on this for about a month, but she’s also told the whole friendship group about it. Fuck, Scarlet, do you not think I would’ve wanted to know somethin’ like that?”

“I know, I know, fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to know! I didn’t even want to get involved, but Yvie told me and then I just had the information in my head and I didn’t know whether I should tell you or mind my own business, and I’d promised Yvie-”

“Oh, you promised Yvie, that’s alright then. Fuck your friend ‘cuz you made a promise to your precious lil’ girlfriend, that’s fine. Good to know how much I mean to you, Scarlet,” Vanessa spat out bitterly.

Scarlet’s stomach was now tighter than she’d ever felt it in her life. She thought back to what Yvie had said, about the friendship group and about how it would all start falling apart. She thought about if she’d told Vanjie sooner, if her and Brooke could have talked it all out and stayed together. Unexpected tears started welling in Scarlet’s eyes. Trying to calm herself she took a long, deep breath through her nose, which turned into a sniff. The noise made Vanjie look up from staring down at the floor, and her hard expression softened into one of regret.

“Fuck, Scar, I’m sorry. Shit. Please don’t cry,” Vanessa murmured, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand. “It’s not your fault. Okay I’m mad at you, but even if you’d told me what the fuck good would it’ve done?”

As Scarlet wiped at her eyes with her free hand, Vanessa gave a heavy sigh. “She still wouldn’t have wanted me.”

Scarlet drew her last tissue from her pocket and wiped her nose with it. “But I should’ve told you. Maybe you’d have been less attached three weeks ago-”

“Scarlet, three weeks ago I liked her just as much then as I do now. It was never a gradual increase with that bitch. Liked her just as much the day we met as I did the day she broke up with me,” Vanessa said the last portion of her sentence quietly, breaking Scarlet’s heart in the process. She gave a world-weary shrug as she spoke again. “S’just hard trying to un-like her. Well, in that way, anyway.”

“Do you think you can even be friends with her again?” Scarlet wondered, biting the side of her finger as she worried about the answer.

“I mean, yeah, I guess. I just kinda need my space from her just now, you know? Which is hard, ‘cuz…obviously we’ve all got the same friends and I don’t want to have to hide away from them just to make things less awkward,” Vanessa frowned, Scarlet nodding sympathetically.

“Well, you’ve always got me.”

Vanessa gave the tiniest genuine smile which made Scarlet want to squeal with joy. “I appreciate you, boo.”

There was a small silence in which Vanessa seemed deep in thought. Finally, she spoke. “Did Brooke say anything to Yvie about it?”

Scarlet wondered if she should tell Vanessa about the “wasn’t sure” comment. She decided that the last thing Vanessa needed right now was any potential false hope. Instead, she sighed. “She hasn’t been very talkative about the whole situation. Just basically told her the same as she told you.”

Vanessa put her palms against her eyes and rubbed harshly. “Well. That’s that then.”

Just then, Scarlet heard a small scream of delight. Looking up and over Vanjie’s shoulder, she spotted Monet with two of her flatmates heading towards them. Monique, the girl whose hair was previously lilac, now had a mane of huge pink chopstick curls, and Cracker’s blonde hair was loose over her shoulders. Anxiously looking to Vanessa, she wondered if this was the right time for more people joining them. Before she could make a decision, Monet had reached them and was leaning over Scarlet making to hug her.

“Oh my God, hey! Fancy seeing you both here,” she smiled, giving Scarlet a hug and moving to hug Vanessa. “V, how are you, baby? Nina told me. Oh, not in a bad way, just…so I knew.”

Monet held the hug with Vanessa longer than she had with Scarlet, the other girl smiling gratefully as she pulled away. “I’m alright, bitch. Not great but not the worst I’ve been.”

Scarlet watched as Monet’s flatmates hovered awkwardly. She gave them both a smile. “Hey! Cracker and Monique, right? We met at the flat party. You’re welcome to grab a couple seats! We were going to get drinks, but we got sidetracked chatting.”

Cracker gave a smile of gratitude and pulled over two chairs for her and Monique, then a third chair for Monet.

“Hey,” Vanessa greeted the pair of them, looking down at her outfit awkwardly. “Well shit, this is embarrassin’. I look like a bag of trash.”

“A cute bag of trash,” Monique replied casually, Vanessa blinking a little in response, taken aback by the compliment. Moving on as if she hadn’t said anything, Monique gave a curious gaze at Monet and Vanessa. “So wait, what happened?”

Monet gave an awkward grimace, but Vanessa filled in the silence for her. “I got broken up with the other day.”

Monique’s face dropped in shock. “That girl broke up with you? Girl, that’s a fuckin’ gag, what? You’re so stunning! An’ she’s like…a slice of white bread.”

Vanessa let out the first genuine laugh Scarlet had heard her emit that day. “Bitch, no, stop it. She’s beautiful too. She just didn’t want a girlfriend. People want different things.”

“Yeah, that’s true. My ex wanted somethin’ different too. Apparently that somethin’ different was Naomi with a model body an’ an onlyfans account. Stupid fuckin’ man, thinkin’ I wasn’t gonna find that shit out,” Monique reeled off, Scarlet barely able to keep up with the pace she was talking at. “But anyway, that was, like, six months ago now. Anyway the point I’m makin’ is that it didn’t take me long to feel better, baby, so don’t worry.”

“The ten rebounds probably helped,” Cracker quipped from beside her, Monique shoving her as Scarlet, Monet and Vanessa all let out a laugh.

“Seven, actually! Come correct, whore. Anyway, we can’t all be as loved up as Miss Monet over there,” Monique raised her eyebrows, Monet rolling her eyes in response. Cracker excitedly turned to Scarlet.

“Oh my God, do you guys know what she’s doing?”

“Cracker,” Monet warned, her voice tinged with caution. Scarlet was interested.

“What’s she doing?” she asked, Monique’s face lighting up excitedly. Monet waved a dismissive hand.

“Guys, this is notthe time or the place to be talking about sappy, cheesy, Valentine’s Day bullshit,” Monet said exasperatedly, with a glance Vanessa’s way. The girl in question was leaning forward with interest, resting her elbows on the small table in front of her.

“Well yeah, Valentine’s Day can suck a dick, but if this is stuff about you and Nina then I’m listenin’,” Vanessa smiled calmly, Monet going slightly red at the thought of having to explain.

“It’s really no big deal-”

“Oh my God, it IS,” Cracker jumped in, hitting Monique excitedly.

“Will you two fuckin’ chipmunks go and find Alvin and stop molesting us! It ain’t anything big, I’m just…maybe…gonna ask Neens if she wants to be my girlfriend.”

Scarlet’s mouth dropped open, unable to contain her excitement. She gave a little squeal and clapped her hands. “On Valentine’s Day?”

“On Valentine’s Day! With a treasure hunt!” Monique continued, gushing with excitement. Monet rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, bitch, can you date me instead?!” Vanessa chimed in, her mouth wide open in shock. “A treasure hunt?”

“It’s honestly no big deal!”

“It IS a big deal, fuck off Monet!” Cracker snapped, clearly fed up with her flatmate downplaying the situation. “So she’s getting all these pictures of Wills…Will Schuester from Glee, Will from The Inbetweeners, Will Young…then she’s getting loads of umbrellas and putting them in a pile- ‘cause obviously they all start with a 'U’,”

“- then -” Monique cut in.

“Why do I feel like I’m no longer in charge of anything in my life?” Monet interrupted dryly.

“- then she’s getting loads of bee-themed things, like honey, yellow stuff, Burt’s Bees lip balm-”

“They know what fucking bees entails, Monique!” Monet exclaimed, Vanessa snorting and Scarlet suddenly so glad of these three girls for the distraction they were providing from her friend’s shitty situation.

“- then she’s putting loads of stuff in a pile that belong to her, so obviously if I was Monet, it would all be ‘MY’ stuff,” Monique continued, ignoring her embarrassed flatmate’s interruptions.

“What’re you doing for ‘girlfriend’?” Scarlet asked excitedly, on complete tenterhooks. Monet opened her mouth to speak, but Cracker got there first.

“She’s made a playlist. A playlist,” she repeated, full of glee. “Of songs with the title ‘girlfriend’. Which there are surprisingly many of.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ. Monet, I hate you. It’s amazing. She’s gonna love it,” Vanessa smiled, seemingly genuinely enthused about her plan. Monet was now incredibly flushed in the face.

“I mean, she might misinterpret the whole thing. She might go ‘Will umbrella yellow objects songs’ or some shit.”

“Which knowing Nina, she probably will,” Scarlet offered, eliciting a laugh from Monet. “But it’s cute. ‘Ness is right, she will love it.”

“Thanks, girls. But no telling her, okay? Shit, I’m already so fuckin’ nervous and it’s still ages away,” Monet wiped her (presumably sweaty) hands on her jeans.

“Are you two doing anythin’ cute and vomit-inducin’ for Valentine’s Day?” Vanessa asked Cracker and Monique. The pink-haired girl tilted her head and gave a little smile.

"Damn, you tryna ask me somethin’? You move on fast,” she winked, Vanessa covering her cheeks with her sleeves.

“Shut up, bitch! You got some amount of nerve, tell you that,” she rolled her eyes, trying to look annoyed. Scarlet could tell she was secretly flattered.

“Well, I’m just going on a date with a girl I’m seeing. We’re trying to downplay it, but I’m highkey freaking out,” Cracker smiled bashfully, Monet sticking her tongue out at her.

“Kaaaameron,” she mocked, batting her eyelids. Cracker swatted at her.

“At least I have a date, bitch! What’re you doing, sitting on Tinder all night offering your services to every person you swipe?"

"Ouch,” Monet half-gasped, half-laughed. Unfazed, Monique shrugged.

“Hmm, prolly. Well, unless something comes up out of nowhere,” she said nonchalantly, checking her nails. Scarlet cast a quick gaze between her and Vanessa. Cracker snapped her out of her rapidly snowballing thoughts.

“What about you and your girlfriend, Scarlet? You doing anything nice?”

“We’ve booked a nice restaurant. It’s a horrifically overpriced set menu, but neither of us have ever really spent Valentine’s with anyone before, so we don’t really mind paying for the experience,” Scarlet smiled, feeling herself grow excited at the thought of getting to sit at a fancy table with candles and prosecco and seafood and chocolate desserts and just celebrate the fact that the pair of them were in love-

Well fuck. Scarlet hadn’t seen that coming. Cracker was replying to her, but she couldn’t hear her. Scarlet was only consumed by the one thought in her mind. She was in love with Yvie. Really properly in love with her. Of course she was, it was so fucking obvious! Why hadn’t she realised it before? Scarlet wanted nothing more than to find her girlfriend and tell her, but with a pang she remembered the hurt Vanessa sitting in front of her and knew where she was needed the most. Although she didn’t seem too hurt at the moment. Monique was telling a story and the heartbroken girl was leaning in, listening intently, her eyes sparkling.

“Hey, were we not getting a drink? My mouth’s drier than Ghandi’s flip-flop here,” Monet said suddenly, cutting Monique off mid-story. She rolled her eyes and took her purse out of her bag, promising to buy everyone’s round.

“Uh, leave me out actually. I think I’d better head off,” Scarlet excused herself, the thought of having to tell Yvie that she was in love with her becoming her number one priority. Feeling guilty, she looked to her friend. “If that’s alright, Vanj?”

“Yeah, boo, don’t worry about it! I’m actually havin’ fun for the first time in days,” Vanessa smiled up at her, casting a gaze to Monet who smiled back.

“Yeah, we’re way better than your other friends,” she said, sticking her tongue out at Scarlet who did the same back.

“We’ll look after her, Scarlet, don’t worry,” Monique smiled, taking Vanessa’s hand and giving it a little squeeze, then letting go again almost as if the interaction had never happened. The only evidence to suggest otherwise was a small blush on Vanjie’s face. Scarlet was intrigued by that whole dynamic. On one hand, she wondered if harmless flirting with Monet’s friend might do Vanessa the world of good, especially if Monique kept showering Vanjie with compliments the way she was doing. On the other, she wondered if Vanessa was altogether ready for a potential rebound. Not allowing herself time to think it over too much, Scarlet said her goodbyes, blew a kiss in Vanjie’s direction, and headed out of the pub and down the stairs of the multi-floored union, immediately messaging Yvie.

S: Are you on campus???

A reply came back within seconds.

Y: yeah my lecture just ended babe! Want to meet?

S: I’ll come to you

Scarlet raced to Yvie’s building, the crowds bustling about in the square that separated the union and the lecture buildings blurring into the background as Scarlet half-walked half-ran to get to where she knew Yvie would be. At that moment she saw her- dressed in her ripped blue jeans and her enormous black puffa jacket, her hair swept up into two wild, untameable space buns. As soon as Yvie saw her her entire face lit up in a smile and if Scarlet had been in any way unsure of how she felt before that, she knew without a shadow of a doubt now.

“Hey, baby! How are you?” Yvie greeted, going for a hug. Scarlet instead took both of Yvie’s hands in hers, gripping them tightly. Yvie’s face was instantly awash with shock.

“I need to tell you something important,” Scarlet insisted, pausing for a moment before she could say it. Yvie blinked at her, confused.

“Right, so…you’re pregnant?” Yvie deadpanned, her face still concerned. Scarlet was unable to help herself letting out a laugh. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

“Yvie, I’m in love with you. I’m so fucking in love with you, and I don’t know how I didn’t realise it until now. I’m ready, and I’m saying it, and I mean it. And I really hope that-”

Scarlet was shut up by Yvie pulling her close and kissing her gently in one swift movement. In that moment, it seemed as if it was their first kiss all over again, but so much better- the two girls fit together like pieces of a jigsaw, the way Yvie kissed and tasted so comfortingly familiar to Scarlet now as if she’d known Yvie’s lips her whole life. When they pulled away, Yvie instantly pulled Scarlet back in for a cuddle. With her head against Yvie’s chest, Scarlet could hear her heartbeat racing.

“Scarlet, fuck…I’ve been in love with you for so long. Since, like. The Christmas dinner.”

“Let’s never break up, okay? To go through what Vanjie’s going through, or to put you through that…ugh, it’s all so horrible,” Scarlet sighed heavily, tightening her grip around Yvie’s waist. Yvie gave a soft chuckle.

“So this is us, then, is it?” Scarlet could hear the smile in her voice, and she squeezed her eyes shut and willed this moment to stay as bright and clear in her mind as a memory as it felt right now living it.

“This is us, baby. You’re stuck with me.”

Yvie pulled away, and at once Scarlet could see the love painted on her face as she looked at her. “Well, I think being stuck with each other sounds pretty good to me.”

As they both walked away and Yvie held Scarlet’s hand in her own and spoke about what to have for lunch, Scarlet thought about how good she had it and how lucky she was.

She had to agree that being stuck with Yvie sounded pretty good to her too.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #scyvie #ninex #not nineteen forever #n19f #university au #college au #lesbian au #ortega #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #nina west #monet x change #monique heart #miz cracker #s11

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bellexmort-a · 5 years ago

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BELLEXMORT / BLOODYXBEAST’S FOLLOW FOREVER

so lately, i’ve been dealing with some stuff and i really just want to shout out some very important people in my / lydia’s / cam’s lives for being absolutely babes and being not only wonderful rp partners, but wonderfully spectacular humans. i’m grateful for ya’ll.

the first wives’ club:

@mieczlw : lea. you already know how important you are to me. almost ten years later and here we are. where’s the time go? when did we get so old, bitch? i can’t believe it’s already been 5 years since i’ve seen your face in person and i hate that for us. but anYWAY. you’re such a lovely person. inside and out. you keep on bein’ my friend and i really just don’t know what i did to deserve you in my life. despite me running away, you always keep me coming back to you. your stiles, love of lydia’s life just....perfection and excellence. but like mother like son....i guess kind of? idk work with me here. point being is that i love you with my whole ass heart, and wish you nothing but love and happiness always and forever. thank you for lovin’ me (thank u for bein’ there. EVERYBODY’S THANKIN.)

@claustrophobicwerewolf : lizzie bearrrrrr. my love my heart. another person who some how sticks around when all i do is throw crack at you. fr. i’ve seen you grow up basically and like WOW U STUNNAH. you’re not only a gifted writer, but you have a genuine heart and want to make the people you love and care about happy no matter what. you also give such life and love to isaac it just makes my heart so fucking happy. even when you’re hurting me with sparks and wires u fuckin twat. i can’t wait for you to come visit and let me kidnap you to nyc forever and ever and ever.

@codeworn : emmaaaaa. you’re just the lovliest. like? i am v fortunate that i have met you. you are crazy talented, crazy gorgeous, and always up for a fucking adventure. you throw literally everything at me and i do the same and its just a wild ride. i love it so much. you’ve been in my life such a short time, but i have already decided i am never letting you go. please never change, keep on being a bad ass allison, and a wild child of muses. it gives me such joy to see you on my dash, in my ask, on my discord, and just everywhere. you’re fucking amazing and don’t ever forget it.

@hiighking : bee bee bee. one of my first ever wives. MANY MOONS AGO in a land far far away, kaleb brought you to me and we have been friends ever since. my wife and my friend and sometimes my mom. literally the best of everything rolled up into one. you’re always there to remind me to take care of myself and make sure i’m alright when things are very much not. you know so much ab me and my life and have been there through MAJOR ordeals for me and somehow you like...still stick around? i’m sry ur stuck in that hell swamp but know that i love you lots.

husband harem:

@scartissuexx : t re n t. my wonderful bear husband. #1 husband in all the land. another person who has been in my life a short while, but i feel like i’ve know you for forever. the person who reminds me to hydrate every day, who checks up on me when things aren’t right. who keeps me sane and calm when i wanna kill everyone. who for WHATEVER REASON loves me basically unconditionally. i do not know what i did in my life to deserve you to be a part of it. you’re a strong as fuck person who takes no shit, and i adore that about you. you’ve gone through a lot and just like..... idk man daddy af and u know it. not to mention your derek. also the love of my / lydia’s / cam’s lives. you put so much love and care into him, and have basically torn him down to the studs and rebuilt him into what TW never could, what he honestly truly deserves. there’s such depth and fleshed out facets that every day i learn something new, and it’s never ending this journey of derek with you. i adore what you’ve done and keep doing with him. he’s a fucking asshole, but god do we love him. and you. always. let’s move to mars already. love ur bear wife.

@astrepur : kalebbbb. although i’m still heartbroken you left me for bee (doesn’t MATTER YOU WERE ALREADY DATIN WHEN U MET ME AND SHES THE LOVE OF UR LIFE. SHHH. IRRELEVANT.) i forgive u. i miss you a lot always and i know you know that. you also went through some shit with me and got me through a lot of my damaged bullshit and just. wow. such a strong, bad ass individual. you’ve been my husband for as long as i can remember. ok for like 10 years bc thats how long we’ve known each other but whatever. thank you for always being there no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked. thanks for always returning my texts even when i’m being weird. thanks for the drunk facetimes with bee. thanks for being fucking you, because i wouldn’t be me without you and i rly want you to know that.

@lycanstark : n i k k o. you are just like. how to even begin with you babe? like just....i don’t even know how long we have known each other, i’ve honestly lost track. from the moment you and logan came into my life, it was like the best fucking thing. you’ve spent years keeping me sane more than you really know. another person i talk to basically almost every day. who listens to me bitch. who indulges me with weird crack AUs and pairings. who tortures me with elijah gifs cause she fuckin’ can like. fuck you for that honestly but whatEVER. you always remind me that things aren’t always gonna be shitty. that despite a ton of bullshit, good things (like our friendship) can last. and i really just adore and love you so much.

anyway here’s a thing about these fucking awesome babes that i will follow to the end of my days and ya’ll should too. thank you && goodnight.

#follow forever.#i fuckin love u all u awesome nerds #welcome to my follow forever here in the year 2012

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jungshookz · 6 years ago

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can you do a college ta!jimin where y/n is failing her class but she’s too scared to go to jimin for help even though he’s her ta bc every time she sees him in lecture she makes a fool of herself and is embarrassed bc jimin is also v hot

→ pairing: park jimin x reader

→ genre: university!au, ta!jimin, neRVOUS!y/n, tae and kook are the dream team from hell, joon is a try-hard but we still luv him

→ wordcount: 2.5k

→ note: ok i was going to write this tomorrow but i couldn’t wait because i need ta!jimin in my life right now immediately so i’m soRRY if it’s short but IT WAS SUCH A CUTE IDEA and i needed to get it ouT into the world also fun fact: a girl that i met during my first month at uni told me all about how she fucked her friend’s psychology TA to help her friend get an A in the class and i need me a friend like that

(gif isn’t mine!)

quick question

why the FUCK did you think this astronomy course was going to be easy peasy

it was supposed to be your grade booster!!!!!

all you learn about are the STARS in the sky

they’re just flaming balls of gaS and you somehow are unable to grasp that concept for some reason

“how’d you do???” namjoon plops down in the seat next to you before looking at his own test and flicking through the sheets

you blink down at the test in your hands

49% written in an angry shade of red

you technically failed even though you were 1% away from getting a passing mark

this was the last chance to boost your mark before the final exam and you totally just bombed it

there are three midterms that you have to take in this course

which meant you had three chances to study hard and do well

you got 59% on the first one

63% on the second one

and this one?

49%

you droPPED not 1% not 2% but a FAT 14%

o boy

you have a feeling you’re not going to do too well on the final exam considering the journey so far

“i, uh, i did okay.” you shrug and stuff your test into your backpack quickly “how’d you do?”

“eh, i did okay too. 86% is fine, i guess.” namjoon murmurs and circles one of the questions on the test “i didn’t study as much for this one so that explains why i did more poorly compared to the first and second one.”

you peek over at namjoon’s test and let out a sigh when you notice his has a significantly less number of red cross marks

you love namjoon but you’re ready to smack the back of his head because you would be ecsTATIC if you got 86% on a midterm you barely studied for

“i’m probably going to go talk to jimin during office hours and ask for some help with the questions i got wrong. you wanna come with-“

“nO” you immediately curl into yourself and wince when namjoon mentions jimin

jimin

park jimin, if we’re being more specific here

he’s the TA for this class and let’s just say,..,,..,,. there’s a reason why the class filled up so quickly at the beginning of the year

he is drop-dead gorgeous

like unbelievably gorgeous

like sculpted from the gods themseLVEs gorgeous

soft, perfectly tousled raven locks

pretty brown eyes

the cutest button nose

and his lips

his pillowy lips that curl around certain words so perfectly and you’re always mesmerised when he takes over a lecture because he does this thing where his tongue will poke out and swipe over his bottom lip in the middle of his rant and you will never admit to anYone that you’ve fantasised about what it’d be like giving him plump bottom lip a lil kith once or twice or thrice

he has a couple ear piercings and you never thought you’d be attracted to that but oH boy you definitely are

not to mention he’s like???? so fashionable???????

most of the time he wears like a button-up tucked into a pair of slacks just to keep things professional or whatever but SOMETIMES he walks in in like a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a loose white tee and a denim jacket or something and that just gets your gears gOING

one time you caught a glimpse of his bicep flexing as he ran his hand through his hair and you literally couldn’t focus on anything for the rest of the class

(today he’s wearing a white button up tucked into a pair of ripped blue jeans and he has his thick black glasses sitting perfectly on his nose)

and!!!!! on top of that he’s the sweetest human being in the entire world

everything about him is just so utterly, frustratingly perfect

he gigGles very often and overtime he does that you’re pretty sure an angel is born in the heavens above

and he’s always super helpful with everyone

even though it’s pretty obvious some of the people in here approach him with the dumbest questions because they just want an excuse to talk to him he will anSwer those dumb questions and help them to the best of his abilities

you haven’t really had a conversation with him before just because this is a class with 200 people and you obviously aren’t going to elbow your way through the crowd just to stand there with nothing to ask him

the only question you can imagine yourself asking is “…..wat is a star” and u don’t want him thinking you’re a big ol dummy

however

the times that you havE interacted with him or the times that prove to you that he does indeed know that you exist have been awful to say the least

absolute humiliating

you don’t know why but every time you make a fool of yourself it’s in this class and it’s riGHt in front of jimin

when you were doing your presentation with a couple other classmates you kept stuttering over your words because jimin was in the front row just staring at you and you could feel your face growing redder than a tomato

you kept stumbling and missing important parts in the presentation so your teammates had to step up and help you a little and afterwards you apologised proFuSely and treated them all to a drink from starbucks

another time namjoon asked if you could go down to the front and grab his paper for him and as you were walking down the steps of the lecture theatre you missed a step and fell riGHT in front of jimin

so, in conclusion: jimin probably thinks you have a speech impediment aND you’re clumsy as hell

you’re just glad that there are only like 2 weeks of class left because that means you’ll finally be able to get away from jimin

it’s not like you want to get away from him

it’s just that

you can.,,.,. u can feel yourself starting to develop a tiny crush on him (spoiler alert you already have a fat ass crush on him you stubborn walnut) and that ain’t good because then you’ll be all sad and mopey because you know for a faCt park jimin is way WAY out of your league and there’s nothing you can do about it

“y/n.”

but you know what you should at least try and say something to him before the year ends because if you don’t you’ll probably regret it

“y/n.”

oR you could make an anonymous page on that ‘university crushes’ page (there are already severAL park jimin posts on that Facebook page so you’re sure your contribution won’t make a difference)

“y/n!!!!!!!” you jump when you feel someone grab your shoulder and you snap out of it immediately “what’s gotten into you?? i said your name like a trillion times!” jungkook furrows his brows

“what? what?” you look around frantically and-

what the heck

when did you get to the dining hall

“i said her name a trillion times on the way here and she didn’t reply to me either.” namjoon snorts as he picks up an apple from the fruit basket “she’s probably daydreaming about jimin again” he teases and you resist the urge to roll your eyes when you see slow smirks begin to appear on everyone’s faces

oh god

here it comes

“ooOooooOOOHH-“ jungook and taehyung begin teasing you and you whack their hands away when they reach up to pinch at your cheeks “our y/n has a little crush on park jimin!!!!!!!”

“i don’T have a crush on anyone!” you scowl and grab a carton of apple juice for yourself “cut it out, you freaks”

“aw, don’t be like that! it’s okay! he’s a very pretty person.” taehyung nods and grabs the juice box from your hand

“get your own juice box.” you snatch it back from tae’s hands before whipping around and heading towards the table where they put all the muffins and donuts (you’ve been craving something sweeT)

as you walk towards the table you turn your head so that you’re able to send a glaRE at your friends “i’m terminating this conversation because i do not want to talk about my crush on park jim- oH-!” suddenly you’re stumbling riGHt into someone and you feel hands grip at your waist to keep you steady while your own hands instinctively reach out to balance yourself

you turn your head back quickly ready to profusely apologise to this person for your clumsiness and that’s when you realise you just stumbled riGHT into-

p a r k j i m i n

/…..FUCK

christ

jesus CHRIST

see

it happened again!!!!!!!!

whenever you do something humiliating jimin is riGHT there

“careful there!” he laughs lightly and you retract your hands from his pecs (ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ) immediately “you good?”

“great. i’m good!” you squeak out and feel your cheeks starting to warm “i- uh, are you okay? i’m so sorry, i wasn’t watching where i was going-“

“don’t worry about me, i’ll survive.” he jokes and your eyes immediately dart away because of your inability to hold eye contact for more than like fiVE seCONDS

“okay, cool, um, that’s good. ……anyways i’m just gonna pay for my juice box-“

“y/n, right?”

you immediately look back up at him

o god

he knows your name

okay okAY okay calm down just act cool you’re super cool you’re a cool gal!!!!!!!

[high pitchy voice] ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᶠᶦⁿᵉᵎ

“yes. that’s me. i am her. i am y/n.” okay there we go we finally got there “you’re… jimin.” oOFhkj

u know what just shut up don’t say anything

“you’re the one who wrote about astronomy and its relationship with astrology, right?”

huh

oH righhhhhht that paper you had to write for astronomy

while you’re not good at exam-type things you’re pretty good when it comes to papers because it’s just you ranting about something but make it ~professional~ aNd also cite ur sources

“yes! that was me!!” you perk up because that paper was the onLy thing you were confident handing in in the class lol “i actually changed my topic last minute but i’m glad i did because i had a loT to say about the subject - b-but you probably already know that because you’re the one who graded it, hah-“ you reach up and scratch the back of your neck awkwardly

you catch a glimpse of the boys over jimin’s shoulder

they already paid for their food and they’re sitting at your guys’ usual table and while namjoon is shooting you a thumbs up and a dimpley smile both tae and kook are being iDIOTS

kook has his fingers curled like an ‘o’ while tae is sticking his finger through the hole and they’re botH wiggling their brows at you and you feel your cheeks warm even moRE

that’s so embarrassing

why are boys like that

whY are you friends with boys like that

namjoon scowls and whacks their hands down before pointing to their food and you can practically hear namjoon telling them to cut it out and just eAT you dumbasses

“i thought it was really well-written and very well executed. i enjoyed reading it, actually. i enjoyed it so much i read it twice!” jimin laughs and you feel your heart skip a beat when you hear his cute giggle “how did you do on the latest midterm?”

you’re not… particularly sure why jimin is stiLL talking to you

it’s not like you’re complaning or anything

you’re just confused

..,.,.,is he just being friendly because TA evaluations come out soon

“i did, um… let’s just say i could’ve done a loT better.” you clear your throat

you’re not about to remind him of your grades because u really reaLLy don’t want him to think you’re a moron

“oh! i’m sorry to hear that…” he frowns and his shoulders droop slightly before he perks up again “i’d be happy to talk to you and help you out! i’m free at 5:30 this afternoon.”

“5:30 works for me! but don’t office hours end at 4?” you furrow your brows in confusion and your bottom lip pokes out a little in the tiniest of pouts and jimin uwus internally

“yeah, and?” he still has his bright smile on his face and you are just conFUSEd “i’ll help you out and maybe we can grab a bite to eat afterwards.”

wait what

wait hWAT

“are- are you sure? i don’t want to inconvenience you or anything-“

“don’t be silly, you could never. here, i’ll give you my number.” jimin plucks the pen out from behind his ear and grabs your hand and you feel your heart rate SPIKE almost immediately

you instinctively giggle when the pen starts gliding against your skin and jimin peeks up at you with a smirk “ticklish?”

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth and keep your eyes on your hand “a lil”

jimin clicks the pen and tucks it back behind his ear and you look at the digits that have been scrawled on your hand “alright, i have some more midterms to grade so i’m going to disappear but i’ll see you later?”

“yes, that sounds good” you swallow thickly because you’re still registering the fact that park jimin just,,, gave you his number

“see ya!” jimin waves at you as he starts to walk away and u literally almost scream when his right eye drops in a wink

you wave back at him shyly and press your lips together

what is going on

is this a fever dream

are you in a simulation maybe

and then you’re standing there just wondering.,..,,. what was THAT and also are u going on a….. date later

nO no no

don’t over think it

he’s just being nice

he’s a nice guy

jimin lets out a breath once he leaves the dining hall and he has to stop to let his heart calm down a little

god damN

that number thing was a bold move but he’s so glad you didn’t reject him or anything

hopefully you show up this afternoon otherwise that’d kinda suCK

he can’t believe it took him nearly two whole semesters to finally grow some balls and say something to u lol

better late than never!!

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

#requested drabbles #jimin fics #jimin fic recs #jimin smut #jimin smut recs #jimin fluff #jimin fluff recs #park jimin #bts jimin #jimin bts #jimin cute #bts #bts fics #bts fic recs #bts smut recs #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fluff recs

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artnerd1123 · 5 years ago

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it’s about that time again, ain’t it?

i started seeing these pop up on my dash, so i figured i’d do another one for this year. lots of fun stuff happenin, eh? i definitely had fun playing with lighting X3 also, may had wayyy too many good ones to pick from. might wanna go check out my art blog, if ur curious abt what that month looked like lskdfjsl this year was super super good for my art!!! im v v happy to see how far i’ve come ;w;

gonna stick some end-of-year rambling undercut, bc i wanna talk n don’t wanna clog up dashes. hope y’all have a happy new year! im so proud of y’all for sticking it through!!!

so... i’m not gonna lie, this year has been a ride. there’s been really high highs, and crushingly low lows. my mental health was on the fritz pretty much the entire year. a lot’s happened. and i’ve definitely seen plenty of growth.

my year at a glance was full of activity. I went into my last semester of high school, which was both stressful (see: ap exams, college setup, and my own mental health/personal issues) and a load of fun (see: senior prom, choir events, and having a blast with my friends). in the summer, i started my first job at an amusement park. it was going well, and even though the end of the year was crazy, i was feeling good. and then i ended up losing someone close to me while i was on a vacation. while the scenery was beautiful, my mental state was... not so great. and it continued to rock and roll like waves on the ocean in the months following. grief isn’t easy to handle. but i was trying. though it was physically painful some days, college was right around the corner. gotta keep your head in the game. even if your head is also full of horrible depression and anxiety. fun stuff, ammirite? speaking of college, i started and finished my first semester! it was a whirlwind of getting used to college life, figuring out how campus worked, and settling in. classes got me to focus on other things, and building in a routine kept me from slipping too far on my bad days. i also made some new friends. and even found someone who’s more than a friend. i’m eternally grateful for her and all that we’ve been through. even if it hasn’t been super super long, in the grand scheme of things. taking the bad times at college into account, it’s still been absolutely wonderful. and winter break? eh. it’s been super super chill. i’ve done nothing for like, 2 weeks, and it’s been absolutely wonderful.

all this aside... college gave me a ton of time to reflect and work on myself. it might’ve only been 3-4 months of time, but it was vital. i grew a lot. learned about myself. figured out that sometimes, people do things you’re not gonna understand. and that’s okay. you just gotta focus on yourself, what you can do, and how you can grow. you gotta figure out how to become a better person with what life gives you. be gentle. be kind. and don’t get bitter at everything. just cultivate what makes you happy. try and trust the ones you hold dear. most importantly, reach out when you need help. please. it does so much more than you think.

just... take a breath, guys. you’re gonna be ok. you just gotta be present as much as you can, so you don’t miss the nice things that are coming.

gotta say, 2019... there are parts of you i’m really gonna miss. and there are parts of you that i’m glad are buried in the past. but all in all? i’m glad to have made it through.

i’m gonna try and make the next year a good one 🖤

#summary of art #2019 art summary #me? talking abt my entire year undercut? it's more likely than u think #... eheheh '^^#yeah... 2019's been an interesting year.#i dunno if i'd wanna repeat it slkdjfs #but i'm glad i made it through #and i'm looking forward to 2020 #am proud of my art; and am proud of myself ;w;#here's to a good 2020!#we're gonna do our gosh darn best!!! and i'm so proud of all of u for being here for another year!!!#(and im gonna rb this in the mornin; dw slkdfs)#artnerd1123

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 5 years ago

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(1/2) I was looking at your about me and your description of how Bakugo makes you feel is so relevant to me. like I'm big into the 'everyone deserves a second chance and to get better if they truly put the effort into changing' mindset, but also I have experience with when people you think are your friends being abusive towards you and I'm just :/ not impressed with that boy. I was hoping he was changing but he really isn't bc in that recent chapter he looks down on the previous OfA holders

(2/2) for having 'weak' quirks and it is just a reminder that he is still the same person. he isn't becoming more neutral towards Izuku because he is growing as a person, he is just accepting that he has a powerful quirk now. he is literally only treating him marginally better because he's accepted that he's not 'weak' anymore and honestly I'm fuming. it breaks my heart that Izuku treats their fight like a resolution when it was really about Bakugo and his feelings not their past.

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yea i get your mindset nony

im really big on the whole “second chances” thing esp in like narratives bc it gives me hope,,,like we all mess up at some point or another but when i messed up i took it Incredibly Hard so all the reminders that ppl can earn second chances give me hope for myself, regardless of if those reminders r fictional

however theres also, u know, lines if u will, and every line a character that eventually will get a redemption arc crosses means the greater the work theyre gonna have to do during said redemption. bakugou has crossed a couple of those and this far in the story with him only halfheartedly trying? i can understand why youd be a lil eh

i havent read the chapter where the prev users’ quirks have been revealed so i cant rlly comment on that, but ur right abt the thing abt bakugou treating midoriya better only bc he has a strong quirk now. like he has to acknowledge him now whereas he used to call midoriya “nothing more than a pebble on the side of the road”. and that’s development in its own right sure but they’ve still got a Long way to go before they can become friends is all so i understand being “:/” abt how midoriya reacts to it all

also the resolution thing made me angry as well i want midoriya to like,,,he should be able to talk to you know. when they do have an actual conversation abt their beef, mido should get to talk just as much as baku, if not more. youre completely right that their fight was abt bakugou’s feelings and not their past. im not as mad as i was before tho bc horikoshi has said in an interview that this wasnt an actual resolution to their shared issues and that there needs to be an actual apology so ive gotten closure and hope for this one sjksjk

bakugou’s just got a lot of issues and i wish hori would like,,,make him deal w them. thats what really seems to be holding him back from completely developing so far. cause like he’s said and done things that try to show he’s changing, like what he said to the kid at the remedial classes, but one step forward two steps backward with how hori has been handling it so far. progress isnt linear but i just wish we could at least see some of bakugou’s thoughts then

he can’t completely get that redemption until he clearly acknowledges he was wrong before. im still optimistic that he’ll change cause like zuko’s redemption arc happened in like a season and it still turned out fantastic and also iron man did some shitty things before becoming a superhero but he still made it through. but i get being exhausted with bakugou that way he is now

hes just ugh. so complex. he has so much potential but in canon so far he’s only lived up to some of it and it is v frustrating i know

basically my feelings are: im tired of him right now but i have so much hope he will get the development that will make him a great character. i understand why u’d lose some hope for that nony but hori himself has said that baku needs to apologize so im sure we’ll get smth!

in the meantime tho i completely understand ur feelings and im sorry u’ve had bad experiences in ur life. i know this reply has been v messy but basically im trying to say i understand how u feel but dont lose hope!! baku will get that development and midoriya will get that apology and on that day i will win

#c makes a word #answer #bakugo katsuki #this is so long im so sorry #idek if i said anything like actually relevant in here im so tired #nony i love you thank you for trusting me enough to send this #im so sorry if i fucked up answering this

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imaginedsoldier · 5 years ago

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nothing has motivated me to work out in months till i saw ur selfies but i always kinda dont get very far in my efforts to work out consistently and it doesnt help that im currently not v strong n have bad stamina so im kinda :/ abt starting up again,,,,,, any tips pls 🥺🥺🥺

Hey there darling. I'm glad I was motivating towards getting you in the gym, that always makes me smile.

Starting can be difficult and starting over can feel like you're always backsliding. I've done a lot of starting over and also helped a lot of people through their starting over so I have picked up on some patterns that might be getting in your way. I am going to make some assumptions here since I know nothing about your actual situation.

Far and away the biggest thing I see is that people load themselves up with too much too fast. People tend to look at exercise as a portion of a work-life overhaul package where they're gonna get it all together and frankly it is unrealistic. Exercise can be a draining, time-consuming, mentally taxing activity to learn, especially when incorporated with other changes. People often change their exercise and dietary habits at the same time- that is often a mistake.

See, humans are pretty change-resistant. We tend to favor consistency, predictable days, and familiar surroundings. It's what makes habit-forming both difficult and rewarding. If you change your sleep schedule, your level of physical activity, and your dietary habits all at once two things are going to happen- you're going to hate it and you're going to start compromising on every single activity. What's gonna happen is that your ability to execute all three is gonna suffer because too many changes at once without a personal trainer, a nutritionist, and a personal assistant is just too much of a mental load for an untrained person.

So my first piece of advice is pick a change you can manage. When it comes to fitness, start working out and don't worry about the dietary component until you're consistently in the gym, hitting your weekly workout goals, and comfortable in your ability to handle the shift in macronutrition.

Next would be to manage your workloads accordingly. You don't need to be in the gym 6 days a week starting out. Your body doesn't have the ability to handle it, your joints and muscles need rest, your digestion has to adjust to the shifting calorie demands.

Pick a number of days and length of training time you know you can hit 100%. 3 days a week for 45 minutes to an hour is a great way to start feeling the movement, getting your cardio up, and putting some wins up on the board. If you look at a chart of your monthly progress and you see that you're hitting 70% of your 5 goal workout days you just won't feel as good as if you see that you're hitting 100% of your 3 goal workout days. Set very achievable expectations to start giving yourself gold stars for meeting those goals.

As far as feeling weak- about half an hour before your workout, make sure you hydrate and get some carbs- don't worry about macronutrition starting out. Get some bread with a sandwich, eat a banana, some oatmeal is great, just get some carbs in your bi body. You're not a tier 1 triathlete, you're not going to experience transient hypoglycemia from eating before your workout, but you will notice if your arms feel heavy and your tummy rumbles.

More than that though- you're gonna feel weak, and that's just fine. You only grow through effort. If putting up some 10lb dumbbells for a fly press is hard, but not excruciating, then what I'm hearing is that you're experiencing resistance from 10lb dumbbells. You're working! That's gonna translate to strength over time. Keep going!

As far as concrete goals for improving your ability to perform work- improving your flexibility, cardio, and muscular endurance are going to be key. Stretching, calisthenics, and some sort of cardio are going to be your bread and butter for a few months while you increase that v02. I suggest interval sprints- go running for a set amount of time, say 20 minutes, but every 4 minutes do a 30 second sprint. That 30 seconds is going to be what the general consensus in physiology says will improve your ability to do hard work for longer periods.

So honestly, my suggestion for someone starting out is planning out a calendar month of 3 to 4 days a week exercise (roughly every other day) where you do body weight exercises (pushups, squats, burpees, core work, stretching, etc.) along with interval sprints. That's going to set you up with a baseline of strength, coordination, and cardiovascular endurance to then be able to translate into weights, more consistent running, boxing, or what have you.

I think the biggest point of failure for prospective exercise goals happens in the scheduling process- a failure to adequately plan a doable routine that is realistic about your goals. I hope this was somewhat helpful, darling.

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justkpopjokes · 6 years ago

Text

Vampire!Minghao || PART 2

A/N: I’M BACK WITH VAMP!HAO!! Also this was almost vampire politics lmfao

Requested by: 4 anons + sunflower anon + @riptidethepen + a blog I can’t tag (y'all sent in asks wanting for a pt.2!! this is dedicated to you♡)

NOTE: for those of you who have read my Vampire!Mingyu AU, the lore is changing! There’s new canon since that au was written so long ago. It’s just small details that are changing, the end of that au is the same👍

part 1

Imma pull some Incredibles 2 shiz with the start right after part 1 stuff

Are you ready? no? too bad

Minghao is red as blood once you lean away from ur kiss

He's having an internal meltdown like hhhhh they agreed to that 2nd kiss

y'all just take some of his knitting stuff and get back to your room so you can cuddle learn how to knit

Mr. Xu is abt to walk in but then he yeets himself outta there after seeing y'all cuddling knitting v close together

For the rest of the week, your teeth grow out a bit more and Mr. Xu teaches you how to use ur fangs properly

Basically biting into apples n other foods for practice

Mr. Dad (ik what I wrote) also makes Minghao practice because this boy turned you into a vampire from not being able to do this properly smh

After that practice is done, you get oddly sick to your stomach again, meaning ~the transformation is almost complete~

(Wow finally it's been like 2 months now)

Minghao just stays next to you as long as he can to make sure you're feeling alright and don't bite yourself

You have to get smth like a mouthguard so you don't bite ur lip in ur sleep

And after that passes…

Congrats! You've graduated from Vampire school👏

VHS'19 go bats!🦇 my new instagram bio

The whole process wasn't actually as painful as it sounds, but it's just… what do I do now

Well Minghao surprises you by dragging you outside

WOOO FINALLY OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THE 1ST TIME IN MONTHS

Minghao trains you more (rip), but it’s fun this time bc you get to run around with super speed

and climb trees!!

mainly bc you remembered Twilight vaguely and were like “wait hao can we do that stuff”

the answer is h e l l y e a h

Yea so you climb trees and run around, essentially playing tag with hao

Until he tackles you to stop you from running

“y/N WAIT DON'T GO THERE!!”

he barely manages to stop you before you get onto a forest trail leading to some buildings

You: “Wow… we're far from your house...”

Hao: “Yeah. Let's head back home.”

“Minghao, do you think… Will I ever be able to go back?”

“What do you mean?”

“To the city”

“Well, you won't have too, don’t worry. My dad arranged your stuff to be kept somewhere until he can pick it up”

“But what if… what if I want to?”

Minghao gets a little confused because he doesn’t understand why you’d want to go back

he thought you loved it here?

confused boy is like “wait what's wrong with the mansion??”

“Nothing, Hao. I just miss home.”

it’s a little hard for him to understand, having lived in the mansion his whole long immortal vampire life…

But he doesn’t want you to be sad, so he asks his dad if he can take you to Vampire Square!

which is just the vampire night market lol

Also,,,, Minghao has a plan to make you even happier ;)

so before you wander off, he takes you to this tailor who takes your measurements

Then you go out to explore the market/square w/Hao while the tailor sews up a surprise

Minghao treats you by trading books for some cake since you can finally eat sugary stuff!! also coconut water since your body has enough blood in it again

((I realize I never really explained shopping in my other vamp au, but they don’t really use money lol they trade objects or favours since everyone knows each other))

it’s a small, chill night market, so there are lights everywhere and you get to watch tiny vampire kiddos and spot a few other creatures roaming around

it makes you realize how… human they are

yknow… hahah… just humans… who have to drink blood or coconut water… and have superhuman abilities… yeah

After ur nice cough cough DATE with Hao, he takes you back to the tailor who has prepared some fancy clothes for you!!

The tailor is like “a stunning outfit for a stunning vampire! I assume it’s for the ball, yes?”

and ur like. what ball lmao

Minghao answers for you and explains to you what the ball is on ur way home

Which is via CAPE TELEPORTATION btw!!

(some capes allow for teleportation and other capes help you turn into bats, etc etc (it’s how Mingyu teleported in his vampire au btw))

So every year around Halloween, there's this Vampire Ball™ for all the vampires at the Vampire Prince’s castle, aka JUNHUI’S CASTLEEE

Btw if you haven't read my Vampire!Mingyu series, note that Jun isn’t king bc his mother is technically queen still but she’s in hiding rn

he’s coolio but anyway

His Royal Highness is a bit mad that Minghao bit someone on the streets since it’s illegal

...but with Mr. Xu’s lawyer skills and the fact that Jun is a nice person (also the fact this has happened recently but was resolved well *cough* Mingyu) you were allowed to live!

and that’s how this almost became vampire politics akjfdh anyway

The night of the Vampire Ball, the 3 of you in the Xu residence change into formal clothing

Hao looks so fine, he’s got a suit on that’s accented w/a red carnation in his pocketand of course he’s got his cape on bc he looks heckin c o o l with that on

functional and fashionable eheh

he has a real proud dad who’s like omg did you get y/n a matching outfit? (yes)

you’re the last to get ready and do that slow walk down the stairs to where Minghao & Mr. Xu are waiting

Hao is obviously like o shit okay okay don’t panic don’t pani—

“…wow”

Mr. Dad: “Minghao, your jaw is physically dropped, please be polite and close your mouth”

Eventually, you get to the castle, which has been decorated w/shades of red

it’s real fancy and all these vampires are dressed up and have nice accessories,

it’s like you’ve been transported back in time to another century!

there are vamps playing classical music and everything

like oh is that a dude on double bass?? hell yeah, you fine sir

and Prince Junhui proposes a toast to another year of living!

Mr. Xu goes off to talk business with some older vampires

So you get to spend time with Hao and dance!!

he was able to get you to ballroom dance with him uwu

Finally, you could be at peace and live in a dream

but peace doesn’t come that easy around here…

there’s obviously gonna be some wine, and you get kind of intoxicated oops

you get a bit moody and start thinking of home back in the city

as much as you love being here with Hao, it’s probably caused so much trouble with your friends/family who’ve likely reported you as missing at this point

Hao notices you looking sad and looking up to the moon in the centre of a garden of roses

he steps next to you and takes your hand

a section of the roses starts to glow, but he ignores it bc he just wants to understand

he can’t really know firsthand what it feels like to be far from home, but maybe you can help him understand that?

maybe then he could feel human?

so he wraps his cape around you and teleports you somewhere else

When your eyes adjust to the dark, you see city lights and trees

Hao just whispers to you, “We can’t be here for long, stay close to me”

you’re at an empty park at the edge of the city, sitting close to Hao on a bench

“Wha—Minghao why are we here?”

“I want to know what it’s like to be far from the mansion. This is the deepest part of the city I’ve been in… And I thought you’d want to be closer to home, too.”

“Thank you, Hao”

You sit silently with him, slowly falling asleep on his shoulder until he has to take you back to the garden

When you return, there’s a small crowd gathered around you

Mr. Xu is in shock or smth, “Minghao did you—was this you?”

You’re obviously like. uh what

but there’s a whole prophecy or something and because of your little trip to the park,,, you’ve got another scheduled appointment at Vampire Court™

but don’t worry, you’ve got a vampire lawyer and a vampire boyfriend by your side~

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #the8 imagines #minghao imagines #the8 scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen au #xu minghao #the8 fluff #vampire!au #jkj fics

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