#you don't wanna know what's going on in my head rn

[peachhcs]

blarie and macklin having a serious talk about how their relationship ended and macklin being serious that he still wants and loves her

the black dog

figure skater x macklin celebrini au (macklin + blaire)

when things get serious between mack and blaire, tensions rise when blaire pulls away in fear of getting hurt due to old habits.

wc: 2.4k

first actual fic! in my posting era rn 😻 this got angsty because i wrote this while listening to the black dog by taylor swift and immediately thought the song fit the situation. i’ve included where u can start listening to the song while reading if u want for the effect :) anyways, enjoy!

au masterlist

mack and blaire had been hanging out almost every weekend or whenever mack had days off for the last three weeks. they'd gone on two dates and now it was just a matter of if things were actually getting serious or not. mack wanted things to be serious but he didn't know how blaire felt and bringing that up seemed scary. 

but after hanging out for the last three weeks, mack wanted to know, so he dared to ask after their third dinner date and ice cream afterwards. they were strolling around downtown san jose, blaire's arm wrapped around mack's and they sure looked like a couple. 

"this is always my favorite part of the week," the girl hummed and mack grinned. "it's my favorite part too," he internally hyped himself up to pop the question. it'd been running in his mind all dinner just trying to find the right time to bring it up.

"you think this could become a regular occurrence?" he subtly hinted at the idea of them becoming serious. blaire peered over at him.

"it kind of is?" she laughed. she didn't quite get it. 

"i mean like..you and me. together. for real," mack finally said it and blaire stopped walking making the hockey player stop too. her expression glazed over a bit. 

"like a relationship?"

"yeah?" their arms dropped to their sides and something in the air shifted in a bad way. mack's heart quickly sunk because he knew exactly what this meant. it was the same thing that happened when him and blaire broke up two years ago. she got all quiet and pulled away from him. 

"i..i don't know, mack. i-i thought this was just..like..us hanging out? friends?" 

now that hurt. 

"friends? you thought we were just hanging out as friends?" he was so shocked he had to clarify what he was hearing. blaire frowned, slowly nodding. 

"i mean..we never..we never said otherwise? i-i don't know, mack. we're too busy for a relationship. i thought you reached back out because you wanted to be friends again?" she sputtered, stepping away even further from him and the boy's heart continued sinking into his chest. 

friends? 

"you think i wanna be just friends with you after going on three dates and hanging out almost every weekend and day i have off?" the disbelief and hurt was very evident in his tone. 

"shit, i-i'm sorry. i should've clarified..i didn't..i didn't know you wanted more.." for some reason mack didn't believe what she was saying because how could she not know that he's wanted something more since they started talking again? 

how could she not know he never even got over her in the first place? 

"bullshit, stevenson. you totally knew what i wanted. i wouldn't have taken you out and hung out with you all the time if i didn't wanna get back together with you," the boy snapped a bit, the tension climbing. 

"i-i'm sorry, mack. i..i should go. i'm sorry," blaire shook her head, already spinning on her heel to walk away from him. 

"no, no don't do that. don't run away when things get hard. you've already done that once to me," mack didn't shout, but his voice was firm and full of hurt that made blaire stop in her tracks. she grimaced. 

"run away when things get hard? what's that's supposed to mean?" she composed herself a second later, spinning back around with her own hard expression. 

"it means exactly what i said. that's the whole reason why you broke up with me in the first place isn't it? you got scared because we were going to different colleges and decided instead of talking to me that breaking up would be easier. well, guess what? it wasn't easier. it actually hurt. a lot. i never wanted to break up with you, but you didn't wanna talk or hear me out. you pulled away and ran instead," mack said bitterly. blaire was shocked by his words, glancing around in fear that the other people walking by were listening in. "and that's exactly what you're doing now. you're pulling away because things are getting serious," the boy grumbled the last part and this time it was blaire's turn for her heart to sink. 

"macklin.." she started but the rookie shook his head. he wasn't going to pull himself back into his again if blaire couldn't do it. 

"forget it. i'll find another ride home," he pushed past her. 

(this is where i imagine the black dog by taylor swift starts playing) 

blaire watched him walk away, but made no move to chase after him. her heart shattered into a million pieces as she stood there by herself on the sidewalk. a few tears slipped past her eyes before she wiped them away and threw her ice cream in the closest garbage—she needed to be anywhere but there. 

the dorm was empty when blaire made it back since maya always left whenever she knew blaire and mack were on a date. the girl buried her face into her pillow, finally letting her tears escape in the comfort and privacy of her room. she cried for probably a good fifteen minutes until she couldn't anymore and just laid on her side with dry, puffy eyes. her phone buzzed, but she didn't bother to check it. 

maybe she did run away when things got hard. maybe it ran in the family because mason ran when things got hard too. he was leaving the country because things were still hard. it seemed to have rubbed off on blaire too. 

finally, the dirty blonde checked her phone half expecting a message from macklin, but it was only a text from carter. the girl opened his message.

how was the date??!

it hit her again and she started crying. she was so stupid. 

blaire called carter and he picked up on the second ring. "hey! how was it? you're calling soon," his laugh at least made her smile.

"i think i fucked it up again," she mumbled. 

"what do you mean?"

"he asked me to make it like..serious and i freaked. i pulled away. i made up some lie and told him i thought we were just being friends," blaire explained.

"you freaked? why? i thought that's what you wanted?" carter quickly asked and the girl sighed, she flipped onto her back.

"i did, i do. i don't know. it freaked me out. i haven't been in a relationship since him..i..pulled away like i always do. like how i ruined us before," blaire frowned and she heard her brother sigh. 

"b..you didn't ruin anything," carter started but blaire shook her head even though he couldn't see her, "no, i did ruin it. i ruined us before and i'm doing it again. it was just like as soon as he asked me i got nervous and it dawned on me how serious my life would be if i started dating him again. how we could just break up again if he gets traded or when he's away for roadies.." 

"blaire, you're spiraling," carter cut her off and the girl shut her mouth. "is that why you broke up with him before?"

"we were going to different colleges and i freaked out because i didn't know how it would work. things were getting serious. i didn't want my heart to get broken so i just..i just left before it could," she admitted. 

"i sense a running pattern here, b. you leave before your own heart can get broken but i don't think you realize how much it hurts the other person," carter said gently and the girl grimaced. blaire turned back onto her side. 

"it's just scary, carter. people always leave. mom did. mason is," her words hurt both of them thinking about it. 

"i get it, but people don't always leave. not everyone wants to leave. mom didn't wanna leave. neither does mason."

"then why does he never talk to either of us and is going to ireland once he graduates?" the girl mumbled bitterly. 

"i..i don't really know, but mack isn't the kind of person who wants to leave you, b. he likes you. he wants to be there for you if you let him in," carter said softly. 

"well i doubt he wants to talk to me again after that," blaire frowned. 

"i also doubt that. maybe give him some space and then try talking to him again? if he's never gotten over you, i doubt he never wants to talk to you again," that finally made the girl crack a smile. 

"yeah, maybe. i'm such an idiot," blaire sighed.

"you're not an idiot, but maybe still a few things you need to talk through. has therapy been working at all?" 

"i guess i don't open up as much as i should to her, so no."

"maybe that's something you can start doing? it's helped me work through a lot of my own shit," her brother said and blaire knew he had a point. it seemed like letting people in was the hardest part for her. 

"yeah, i guess. sorry for bothering you."

"don't apologize. i'm here for you, okay?" carter said and she nodded again. "thanks. i love you." 

they hung up and the figure skater spent the rest of the night reflecting on everything and the things mack said to her that might actually be true after all. 

—

she went to his practice the next day. she lingered outside of the locker room knowing he would come out and see her so they could talk. blaire stayed on her phone and just acted like someone walking around in there so his teammates wouldn't pick up who she was. 

the players started filing out about ten minutes later. they were all talking about their plans for the rest of the day and the game going on tomorrow. the brunette finally came out with will who blaire always heard a lot about. she tried catching mack's glance from where she was. he saw her, a look of surprise crossing his features when she offered a tiny half smile. 

mack mumbled something to will before breaking off the group and heading towards one of the empty hallways. blaire took the hint and followed after him. he walked quite a ways down until he was sure no one would see them. 

"what are you doing here?" he mumbled.

"i was hoping we could talk?" blaire asked carefully. the brunette stuffier her for a moment before agreeing.

"okay, go because i said everything i could," he leaned against the wall and the girl sucked in a breath. "first, i'm sorry for last night. that was really shitty of me and i shouldn't have..i shouldn't have said or done what i did." 

mack didn't say anything, so blaire kept talking, "i didn't mean to hurt you like that or..like that two years ago too. i..i don't really know why i pull away like i do. i think..i think it has to do with a lot of things like my mom dying and my brother never talking to me ever which isn't an excuse, i know that. it's just..i think really hard for me when things get serious because i get scared people will leave like my mom and brother did and i didn't want to get hurt so i tried leaving before someone hurt me again. i realize that it just hurt you more and i never meant to do that." 

the brunette's expression softened a little, "you know i was never gonna leave you, right? i still wouldn't."

"i know that. i just got scared when college came so fast and we were committing to schools across the country from one another. i got scared that you would find someone better. i'm still scared of that. when you asked me last night..i started overthinking about if you got traded or something and what we would do. i guess whenever things get serious i pull away because i don't wanna feel that hurt gain," blaire laid everything out for macklin that she talked with her brother about last night. 

she was caught off guard when he cupped her cheeks and pulled them closer to one another, "i'd never find someone better than you. i told you, i haven't even gotten over you the first time, so there's no way i'd find someone else. i know it's scary thinking about getting traded, but we'd figure it out. i promise. i wouldn't just get up and leave you." he caressed his thumb across her skin and she melted into his touch. 

"this whole thing has always been really scary for me," she mumbled. 

"i know. i'm sorry it has been. i promise i'd never leave you like that though. i really like you, blaire. when i found out you were in san jose i really believed it was because we deserved a second chance with one another or else we wouldn't have ended up back in the same city. you're it for me," the boy said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. blaire's heart pounded a bruise into her chest but in a good way this time. she leaned into his touch, her own hands rubbing across his wrists. 

"i really like you too, mack. i'd really like if you could reconsider your offer from last night," she said and mack grinned. 

"i have been," he teased a bit.

"i'm yours if you still want me, promise," she said and mack's smile grew even wider than before. she loved seeing his smile so big like that. 

"i'm yours too," their gazes dipped to their lips. mack leaned in first and then they were kissing in the empty hallway of the sap center. fake fireworks exploded around them or at least it felt that way to them. 

when they pulled apart, their smiles couldn't be bigger. the boy tugged her into his chest, his arms wrapping around her torso. "so my place now?" he joked making both of them laugh, the tension from last night quickly easing away. 

"i'd love that," blaire agreed and they finally left the sap center hand in hand for the first time since they started seeing one another.

[shradsmanifestt]

Do you have any advice for someone who struggles heavily with their appearance, to the point they cannot look in the mirror or they’ll spiral?

I have read Neville Goddard and have been into specifically LOA since about the start of this year, I believe in shifting and am an open minded person. Yet, for some reason I can’t convince myself that my appearance is controlled by me, and that any flaws are just in my head.

I would go to therapy or something (I haven’t looked in the mirror properly since October), but I can only do that through my mother (she said yes, but nothing happened yet, so I have to wait.) I think about how I look everyday and I am scared to go outside but I have such a bad view on how I look.

Is it really possible to just robotically affirm through everything, until it manifests? I get really demotivated if nothing changes in a couple of days, even if I logically know that it HAS to manifest.

Rather than advice, I would like to tell you this -

The only reason why you have this appearance rn is because you have accepted the fact that this is how you look. All of these flaws that you have accepted in your mind is why you have those. I don't like to be harsh but in order to help you i have to be honest.

You accepted a certain image of yourself, so the 3D has no other choice but to reflect that. Instead of wasting your time on thinking how you're spiralling and how the mirror scares you, be fearless in accepting the fact that - no not anymore, I love how I look, I look exactly how I wanna look like and persist in that. You are the reason why you look exactly how you look now. You have perfectly manifested looking like this. You have perfectly manifested having a bad view on how you look. This must also be reflected by others since that's the way you think about yourself. Change that. Change the way you see yourself. No matter what happens. Your end goal is to look a certain way right? Be delusional for all I care. You look exactly how you wanna look like rn. Don't let the 3d control you, don't let it define you. You control the 3d. And it's already done. That's it. End of story.

[masterfuldoodler]

girlbossed too hard.... unless...

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[chaotictomtom]

hey also guess who just learned about t'hy'la [is a snotty and sniffling mess] [wails and cries have been heard for 5 minutes just before]

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

[supercantaloupe]

my poor body. she does not work so good

[keeps-ache]

ooo that's minty babyyy

[a-hazbin-reader]

OMGOMG I HAD THIS IDEA FOR A WHILE NOW

(u dont have to do it if u dont wanna !!)

BUT THE READER IS ALASTORS WIFE AND SHE EXTREMELY LOYAL TO HIM BUT VOX KEEPS TRYING TO GET HER TO FALL FOR HIM

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Vox being humiliated, Unwanted Attention, Possessive Alastor

Description: ☝️⬆️

If you wanted that stupid tv head then you would've gotten with him by now, you only have eyes for your husband

It used to make you a little embarrassed, having someone so openly into you and then having your husband come to your rescue

That was always your favorite part

Alastor coming around and wrapping a protective arm around your waist, pulling you in close in a possessive display

You always used to really play up the adoring wife, cooing at and praising your brave husband

Not you two looking adorable, you leaning on him happily, hand on his chest as he grinned down at you while whisking you away

You're not even flattered by the attention anymore, having long since figured out that Vox is only into you because he's into your husband

His hate boner is obvious

The point is, Vox is only trying to woo you to get under Alastor's skin and if he somehow managed to land you then it's just a cherry on top

You know he would lose interest if he actually got you

But Vox will never steal you away from your husband, you're too infatuated with him to even consider it

You don't even respond to Vox anymore, straight up ignoring him whenever you see him

You throw out the flowers he sends, give Niffty the sweets and let Alastor rip up the little notes

If you see him in public then you pretend he's not there

"Hey hey hey~ Fancy bumping into you here, Y/N~ How you been~? Still with that old-school geezer of yours?"

"... Yes, I would like two pounds of venison, please"

It really irks Vox more than anything to be ignored/not taken seriously so this always pisses him off and throws him off his game

"U-uh so...Y/N did you catch the news lately? Lotta scary freaks out and about! Maybe I could walk you home? Just to keep you safe, of course-"

You've already left the shop before Vox even realizes it, the shop owner watching him with a nervous expression

You fucking bitch

"My counters!!"

He isn't going to lose his shit in front of you, that would be a major turn off and he knows it

Not that you don't already know he's throwing a small tantrum before chasing after you

Not him forcefully taking your bags so that you have no choice but to let him walk you home

🙄 Your funeral man

Vox talks the entire time, awkwardly trying to fill your icey silence with tales of his great deeds

The paparazzi are going fucking nuts rn

BREAKING NEWS! IS VOX MOVING IN ON THE RADIO DEMON'S WIFE???

You don't even make it halfway home before Alastor shows up, bumping Vox out of the way and catching your bags, using his free arm to hold you close

"Alastor! What took you so long?"

"Apologies my dear, Rosie was being quite the chatterbox today~"

Not both of you pretending Vox was never even there-

By the time Vox is able to pull his head out of the ground all he can see is the two of you walking away, you leaning your head on Alastor's shoulder

And Alastor's entire head whipping around to give him a shit eating grin as you two round a corner

FUCK!

I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE!!

[astonmartinii]

false start | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem swimmer reader

some people are getting a bit too ahead of themselves

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

.・゜゜・ part of the aston martini summer olympics ・゜゜・．

espn

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lillyking and 509,455 others

tagged: yourusername & lewishamilton

espn: the 2024 paris olympics kick off tomorrow and we'll be keeping a close eye on the pool. and despite being one of the biggest names in the sport and the fiance of seven-time f1 world champion lewis hamilton, we don't predict to see y/n y/ln on the podium this summer.

view all comments

user1: when will y'all learn?

user2: i swear they did this back in 2021, saying she wasn't good enough any more and then BAM she won double gold and they were suspiciously quiet after

user3: i hope she dunks on their heads again

charles_leclerc: STOP UNDERRATING HER I SWEAR TO FUCK

user4: bro hasn't even started as lewis' teammate and he's already ready to throw down for y/n

charles_leclerc: i have been a fan of the queen since before i even started in f1 - no one disrespects her in front of me

user5: espn better be shaking in their boots after that

lewishamilton: 😐

user6: the king has spoken

user7: it's an emoji babe

user8: real lewis fans know that this is worth a thousand words

user9: the picture with the double gold is going to hit like crack i fear

user10: best believe i know that they'll tag espn just to be messy

user11: i'm sat. i'm so sat. the cinema workers have told me she doesn't compete for a couple days but i'm simply so sat

yourusername: ⏳

user12: OKAY SLAY

user13: i need these golds like i need air

user14: okay queen i need you to run back the celebration from last olympics

user15: time to become an honourary aussie for a couple weeks to support y/n

user16: LET'S FUCKING GO KANGAROOS

user17: run me my passport australia

user18: when will lewis get his australian citizenship

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 1,459,833 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: go get em'

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user22: gIVE ME ONE CHANCE PLEASE GOD PLEASE

user23: sorry to everyone else at the games, but the hottest couple has arrived

user24: tiktok girls PSA: if i don't have ten alchemy edits of them on my desk by tomorrow morning THERE WILL BE ISSUES

yourusername: for you sir, anything

yourusername: ugh your ✨ title ✨ is so hot

lewishamilton: let's win and then put it to good use 😉

landnorris: do you people mind?

yourusername: why are you always in our business? don't you have your own little guppy to follow around in paris?

lewishamilton: he's just lonely? or not? i can't keep up with his relationship drama

landonorris: EXCUSE ME?

yourusername: you're excused? we've been together for like eight years we aren't used to whatever drama you've gotten yourself into

lewishamilton: eight years, six months and 237 days :P

user25: first espn and now lando? they're not holding back this summer

user26: fucking around and finding out is what summer 2024 is all about

georgerussell63: good luck y/n !!!

yourusername: thank you georgie :)

georgerussell63: and i checked, i don't think there's any gb swimmers in your events (other than the relays) so you'll have my full support

yourusername: thanks?

lewishamilton: he's a little confused but he's got the spirit

user27: i need y/n to win and come to the paddock with her medal for zandvoort

user28: i am seeing it and i need it to happen

olympics

liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly and 893,209 others

tagged: yourusername

olympics: never in doubt, y/n y/ln takes gold in the 100m backstroke final!

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user29: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

user30: suck on that espn

user31: espn admin come outside rn please i jUST WANNA TALK

lewishamilton: @espn KEEP MY (soon to be) WIFE'S NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

yourusername: that was so hot

lewishamilton: you wiping the floor with the whole pool was so hot

lewishamilton: but then again you're hot doing literally anything

yourusername: says you mr model

lewishamilton: i got a few things i wanna model for you ...

yourusername: is it my gold medal and nothing else ?

lewishamilton: how did you know ???

user32: so winning a gold medal really does make you horny on main

user33: some of us lived through them with no PR managers, this is tame

user34: they're one couple where it really wouldn't surprise me if something got leaked

yourusername: can confirm it tastes as sweet as it did in tokyo

oscarpiastri: could you hear me cheering? i was so loud :)

yourusername: funnily enough, no

oscarpiastri: oh :(

yourusername: but i felt it in my spirit!

oscarpiastri: good :) because i think i have slightly deafened your husband 🤷‍♂️

lewishamilton: my ears are still ringing but i'll take it because you were supporting y/n

yourusername: awwww you cuties

user35: yall saying that kimi antonelli is lewis' grid kid but it's clearly oscar

user36: if i watched lewis put yellow and green glitter on oscar's face on live tv it's not a conversation to start with

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, jensonbutton and 1,459,783 others

tagged: olympics & lewishamilton

yourusername: gold in both 100m and 200m backstroke is more than i could've ever dreamed coming into these games, thank you to my family, friends and wonderful fiance for their support. and to the others, you know who you are, be careful on all those false starts you keep making ;)

view all comments

user38: where are you ? LET'S BE HAVING YOU !!!

user39: her winning the golds regardless isn't enough i need a gun

espn: ... i'm sorry?

lewishamilton: YOU SHOULD BE

espn: sir, i am just an intern who posts what i am given

yourusername: well now you're making me feel bad

espn: i can give you my boss' email?

lewishamilton: YES PLEASE LET ME AT EM

user40: bullying works?

lewishamilton: i'm so so so so so so proud and so so so glad that everything lined up for me to be there and witness your excellence in person 🙇🏾

yourusername: i love you so much and couldn't have done it without you, all those facetime dates and missed anniversaries are worth it in the end

yourusername: although i am looking forward to following you around the world again for a bit

user41: thank fuck you're not retiring ????

yourusername: who said that ??? @espn was it you again??

espn: not this time i swear!

yourusername: i can confirm that i am not retiring, us terrorising all the youngsters in our sport is kind of our whole bit

lewishamilton: although some people could learn to walk away - cough @fernandoalo_oficial

yourusername: really?

lewishamilton: beef waits for no one

fernandoalo_oficial: well i personally was cheering on y/n, you can choke

user42: how does y/n look so good even after racing?

yourusername: getting laid well and often 👍🏼

lewishamilton: you're welcome

yourusername: i love you 🥰

lewishamilton: i love you more

fin.

note: hope you guys enjoyed!! swimming is always my favourite olympic sport (i also swam for ten years so that's probably why lol)

[ahgasegotarmy116]

It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot

Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse. 

"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch. 

"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30. 

"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes. 

"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. 

"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.

I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself. 

Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.

Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time. 

Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long. 

Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them. 

Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified. 

This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine. 

I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.

I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.

He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows. 

Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right? 

Only one way to find out though...

A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. 

"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet. 

Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again. 

Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.

Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things. 

I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.

"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face. 

"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch. 

Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay. 

He needs to know, he deserves to know.

We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings. 

I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes. 

He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too. 

Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.

"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going. 

"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise. 

His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing. 

"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do. 

"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next. 

"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster. 

"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion. 

"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.

"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief. 

"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.

"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten. 

He is nervous

I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay. 

"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again. 

"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding. 

"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it. 

He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile. 

"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back. 

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.

"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore. 

"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle. 

"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.

He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?" 

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[getonite]

(𝟏) 𝐌𝐒𝐆: I NEED LOVEAND AFFECTION.

"how they love to give you affection" — ( hajime umemiya, hayato suo, haruka sakura, jo togame, + choji tomiyama )

gn!reader ; fluff, slight cursing, metaphors, very light suggestion in suo and togame's parts. nothing just cute stuff, maybe ooc for togame?

forcing myself to write rn. wanna guess who i like the most lmao? smaus for them will be out soon! kuroshitsuji ver.

hugs

there's honestly no surprise here, hm? he's like a walking bear at times, specifically with his hugs. sure, at (rare) times he gives some encouraging hugs to the furin boys, but his bear-hugging arms are reserved for you.

umemiya has healing hugs. paired with his ability to sense a positive or negative change in others, he often surprises you with them, rubbing his face into you, swinging you around a bit with a bright smile on his face, hearty laughter from his lips.

he enjoys the way you feel wrapped in his touch. the way you lean your head against his chest or shoulder, sinking into his embrace.

it's a way he feels extremely close to you, not like how he wants (he wants to melt into your skin), but it's close enough to provide the both of you with the comfort and intimacy the both of you crave.

light kisses

despite the way he seems, he quite enjoys kisses. specifically, giving them. he enjoys giving and recieving affection equally, though there's something special about those little kisses he gives to the palm of your hand, or your knuckles. he peppers them everywhere, but those are his two favorite spots.

his eye watches the way you get flustered. especially, when he decides to make a show of it and bows to one knee to kiss you. "my liege," he'd joke, laughing at your embarrassed reaction.

he loves the way you jump, goosebumps along your arms from the way his lips ghost along your skin, tickling the small hairs on your arms. his entire aim with affection is making you flustered.

if he truly wishes to fluster you, maybe make you a bit hot, he breaths on ear, the air tickling your skin. he presses his lips to the tip of your ear, whispering a comment of praise. it amuses him how you jump and crumble from such a small action.

of course, he plays dumb, pressing another light kiss to your skin. "i haven't a clue what you mean, love."

anything (handholding).

anything flusters him. he doesn't typically initiate intimacy, it's normally you. so he doesn't have a particular favorite thing to do to give you affection. the closest he'll get to initiating something, is handholding. so perhaps that's his favorite to give you?

a combination of hugs and kisses

togame is slow-paced, he has a lazy energy to him more often than not.

he lazily wraps his arms around your waist, grunting as he pulls you back with him as he sits down. he smiles at the shriek you let out when you fall backwards with him. "calm down, will ya?"

togame bury's his face into your neck, securely holding you close to him. his lips press light kissed from behind your ear and to your shoulder, his thumbs sneaking beneath your shirt to rub circles against your skin.

there's nothing more that he loves than hugging you close to him and feeling the heat of your body. especially your neck when he peppers kisses on them. the press of your thighs against his, your back to his chest. his hands drift your thighs, squeezing them lightly, "i hope you know, i love you..." he often falls asleep like this, lightly snoring against your back, tugging you onto his lap so you don't leave.

a combination of handholding and hugs

choji is the type of guy to jump and hug you. he wraps his arms so tight, both you and togame have to tell him to let go. the both of you often fall over from the force of him. it's more of his favorite way to greet you than favorite way to show affection.

aside from surprise hugs and clinging to you, he likes to hold your hand. he's perpetually stuck in the childish way of aggressively swinging your arms back and forth as he does, happily smiling an apology when you reach your destination.

he likes to squeeze your hand at times, either to comfort himself, or you.

choji leans close, rubbing his face against you, proving to those you walk around that you are his. there's no shortage of glares he gives people who stare too hard or talk too long ro you.

regardless, he loves being right next you; keeping you close while proving you're together. and as far as cuddling goes??? he's wrapped around you like a fucking monkey. he is NAWT letting you go once he has his hands on you.

[silusvesuius]

deux

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting the mortal emmrich argument scene (all routes)

dissecting the graveyard scene dissecting the mortal romance path scene how I think an argument reconcilation scene could've went emmrich x rook cinematic (mortal)

lich version dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) mortal vs lich romance path emmrich x rook cinematic

Emmrich Volkarin - Dissecting the Mortal Argument Scene

welcome back dearies

lets not dally with this one and get right into it -

starting strong with emmrich reviewing his will and testament/s -

important, but not yet, so do go on -

the emphasis on will tells us alot. coming from a storyboarding background, its easy to see why the emphasis was put on will. emmrich chose mortality, and will thereofre face death head on, as will rook. but due to rook being younger than emmrich (in any capacity), emmrich states that rook will outlive him. now he hasn't said it yet, but his fear is about to rear its head. keep in mind throughout all of this that this man is scared of how much he adores you.

but in the same sentence, we've got, "You've... grown to mean much to me..." - head over heels in love, rip my heart out and serve it to you in a platter, my heart, body and soul is yours type o' love.

I just wanna shake him, oh i just wanna shake him like a bag of treats, but very aggressively. he is so obviously LYING, rook makes a comment earlier in the game about how he is a SHIT LIAR. it sounds the exact same. BUT, and I say but with a hint of 'ah -ha!', lets read between the lines -

I care for you Rook! Deeply. - man has never been down as bad as he is - emmrich has never felt love like this. But there are such years between us - shut up rn I shouldn't heap you with that burden - HERE. he knows that Rook loves him, he can feel it. I imagine between quests they hold eachother's hand as the read books together on the balcony. as they make tea. as emmrich shows rook his mothers recipes. emmrich knows rook loves him, he just doesn't realize can nor accept how much rook loves him.

bonus, BURDEN ME, Im begging you, to BURDEN ME.

DIVERGENCE

god it hurt to replay this scene 3 times

Path 1 - Please don't worry, Emmrich.

he also broke my heart by worrying because i too, love him

fuck this line. i love you but look, I get where emmrich is coming from, but no. no no no, no no. whats fair would the world to be ending and being able to spend every waking moment in eachothers arms, to spend the final moments of 'what if' craddling your insecurities and nurturing love. instead we at the end of the world, arguing, because both rook and emmrich are fucking terrified to lose eachother. something about 'being fair' to someone by 'leaving' them irks meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

solid and appropriate response

moving on because i have nothing nice to say

get his ass

emmrich is shockingly, overthinking the concept of death. ya know, that thing that cant be soothed or mulled over, pierces his heart and shakes his core? that, thing. yes shockingly, overthinking it. i get both perspectives here. Rook just wants to be taken serously and not for their age gap to come between the love they have finally found. emmrich so scared out of his mind he's trying to avoid it entirely. if you want a really gutteral playthrough before point of no return, pick this. I did, on my blind playthrough, it was a mistake, i cried alot.

unfortunately, very valid on both statement, but also true on both statements. Emmrich is both worried about Rook and insecure about dying. because either way, he loses rook, he loses his time with her. in this line of dialogue, emmrich is vry concerned with burdening rook with his death and the grief that will follow. Rook essentially tries to calm him in the worst way possible and it escalates. im not a fan of this dialogue path at all as the "at your age" comment is so out of pocket.

Path 2 - I mean something to you!

if you were to of told me that the purple rook option is the 'nicest' in these scenarios, I would...not believe you at all. It's still painful, but it's not an 'argument?'

strong start ngl

mans immediately defensive, but his tone of voice isn't raised like in the other scenarios. its more poised with care through it, more 'ugh, yes, i care about you, but this is about death'

in this dialogue path rook attemps to 'waylay' emmrich, aka, distract him and change the subject to something nicer, more comforting. though unfortnately, for people with crippling anxiety, nothing calms the mind when its in black and white mode.

eh, not what I would've gone with saying rook but ya know. eve before a battle, tensions high. still not great

emmrich wants to discuss being a burden to rook and rook is just not having it, im kinda into it.

again rook is trying to waylay emmrich into realising that he is overthinking things. however, to emmrich, this is real, rook may as well be dying in his arms rn. thats how real his fears are. we think back to emmrich being a child and losing his parents in a collapsed building accident. its likely he was there, and survived.

hence why it is so very important that we remember that his romance confirmation is the question, what would my parents want for me? and the answer is HAPPY WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU.

he is so terrfieid of death, and you and I both know, that when you have such a fear, it is amplified by 14747% when it is someone you truly care for. let alone the type of connection these soulmates have.

emmrich desperately pleading to talk about being a burden to rook, and rook is still just going, 'no', youre my burden now.

wee woo, a winner in my books because rook is not insulting his very existence or dismissing emmrich.

rook knows that emmrich is scared and would rather talk to him about being SCARED, instead of him being a burden because she fucking loves him and would never leave him.

rook is just as scared as emmrich but in this path, is trying to level with him. this is probably the one path where it concludes and I dont have a clear answer on who said the worst shit. i dont think any of them did, it was just riddled with concern, and a lack of communication.

Path 3 - Love scares you.

Rook pointing out the obvious. blunt and to the point. I do love that Rook is able to identify this straight away

Emmrich, taken aback by the comment by Rook, because it's the truth. he is scared because he loves rook. both by actually loving her and by how much he loves her.

"I can't... at my age" Is what this line is meant to be.

But once again, and we have discovered in previous posts, Emmrich has never considered himself 'worthy' of this type of love. And now that he has the love he has craved for decades, he considers himself too old. most likely due to his belief ssystem morphing over time to, "if it hasnt happened by now, it never will" probably in his 30's. Thats almost 20 years of doubt. We know Emmrich has been in relationships and involved with others since then, but nothing that even comes close to what Rook and Emmrich have. Keep in mind as well that Emmrich hasn't formed a connection with anyone in several years and has solely focused on work (i.e., lichdom) because what else do you do when you have given up?

straight to the point again

reiterating that this is a hard topic for him - kindness in this situation would desecalate emmrich and calm his mind, but unfortunately the end of the world takes no prisoners

man is terrified of love and the grief and vulnerability that embodies it

ouch

ouch

Rook's defensiveness and frustration reaches an all time high. rook wants the love of her life to tell her that he loves her, and emmrich doesn't want to burden his love with the grief that will embody her for the rest of her days. rook walks away feeling defeated, with a hole in her heart. emmrich is left with his overthinking thoughts, and most likely spirals.

Conclusion

In their facial expressions, and I have slowed them down to each frame per second whilst analysing, and both Emmrich and Rook share the same process of emotions after Rook's final statement.

Both Emmrich and Rook start out with a cross look on their face, eyebros tilted, eyes squinted, portraying anger, which is covering defensiveness, which is a defense mechanism for being vulnerable. After Rook says their final statement, this line is what 'pulls them out' of their defensive trances, but its too late, the damage has been done. Their facial expressions switch to a more, 'oh, oh that was just said', it turns to regret. the over arching theme of the game. they regret what they said, and their pride wont let them budge rn. the argument scene is important to the romance considering what happens next in the game.

"We'll talk when we get home, Emmrich. I promise." (the reconciliation line before fighting ghil)

hit me like a frieght train that did when i found out we were in the fade for weeks. emmrich, canonically, cries alone and has cold sweats at night when he is upset. do with that information what you will. it definitely happened when rook was gone. Hence why it takes Rook dissapearing in the fade for several weeks for their walls to collapse completely.

god fight, stuck in the fade, emmrich meticulously searching for rook, crafting the fake dagger, pulling them out.

At the end of the scene, Emmrich looks frustrated and devastated. the type of facial expression where it is clear he wish that conversation had gone differently.

Emmrich has low self-esteem, there is no simpler way to put it. This is apparent in the way he holds himself, in his mannerisms, and the way he reacts to rook expressing romantic interest in him. As two examples, consider the date with Emmrich, "apart from the compliment of your interest?", and in two flirt dialogue lines, he responds stating that he is surprised rook has shown interest in him. he wants this love SO BADLY, but he is so scared especially with how much death is around them. but emmrich is braver than he believes. it just takes, almost losing rook for him to embrace it.

phew, what a rollercoaster. ill have the mortal romance scene break down for you in coming days ♥

[d3stinyist1red]

GIRLIE, YANDERE OLDER MAFIA BOSS!!(TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE OTHER REQUESTSSSS!!💗)

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ʙᴏss x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan mafia boss who you work under, with him being your boss and your his right hand woman

yan mafia boss who treats you like you own him, following with whatever you say

yan mafia boss who doesnt like any medics touching him, wanting you to be one treating him

The medic was standing in front of him, clearly fearful for her life bc the man in front of her could kill her if she did the slight mistake. She tried to pat and help the wounds of the Mafia boss who smacked her hand away and huffed.

"Bring me my n/n, now." He said glaring at her as she quickly nodded, basically running to you. She told you about how he refused to let her help and touch him as you sighed. You rubbed your temple before nodding and smiling at her.

"Don't worry, Ill deal with him." You said politely, nodding at her before walking past her, going to the room where he was at. You opened the door and you saw the way his eyes lit up, and a grin landed on his usually nonchalant face. "Love!" He said, as you walked up to him.

"Why are always acting so stubborn to the medics? You know that they're there to help you, idiot." You said clearly irritated, making him pout and tilt his head. "But, I want you to help me!!...and have your hands all over my body..." He whined, grabbing your hand and resting it on his cheek, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes.

yan mafia boss who has to always be in constant contact with you

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

n/nnn

where are uuuuu

n/nnnnn

n/nnnn

...?

...

...

no reply?

Have other hoes?

YOU DO DONT YOU?!!!?!?!!?

i hate u.

You getting blocked.

dont talk to me. I know you hate me.

Okay, im going to kill my self.

...?

....

...

This is (yans name, yall could make sum up) cat, he just shot himself

do you love him

...

...?

baby you know that was all a prank

i love u

pls let me eat ur ass

i wanna slurp ur kitty so good that the only thing i could taste is u mami

(seen 1 min ago)

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

ur rlly gonna leave me on seen?

ur lucky i dont come and cream all over ur face rn

pls touch me

yan mafia boss who has his bodyguards protect you no matter where you go

"Okat sigma 1, hawk tuah, ohio go protect n/n, you better fucking protect her with your life, ya hear?!" He said to his bodygaurds aggressively, scowling them down as they shook in fear,....i think one of them peed their pants...erm!

yan mafia boss who is madly jealous, putting a bullet into anyone's head he sees as threat for your love.

yan mafia boss who when you arent around, he struggles to sleep. He tosses and turns, his mind racing with scenarios about what they might be doing or who they’re with. "is she with that ugly bitch from work again?! Is she with one of my bodyguards?! Is she cheating on me?!" He hiccuped through his sobs, biting on his nails, hair all messy from tossing and turning throughout his sleep

He often wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling empty without them next to him. If you spends the night somewhere else, he'll start spamming you on everything even roblox.. If you dont answer within 5 mins, he immediately sends his men to try to find you, and paces around his house, restless waiting for your reply. bruh u were js buying sum takis...

yan mafia boss who is your boss who favors you a little too much!!! <333

IM PROB GONNA UPDATE SOME MORE ON TUMBLR BUT IM STILL ON BREAK ON WATTPAD CUZ I LOST MY GOD DAMN PHONEEE

SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MAFIA BOSS YAN