#you don't have a fucking beer with the President

[burnforyou]

FRAT PRESIDENT - LUIGI MANGIONE x READER

!SUMMARY! frat sweetheart gets with the frat president: Luigi. he interrupts/catches you masterbating. also im aware frat sweethearts usually don't live in the house but I don't care this is my fanfiction. (I honestly don't know how frats/sororities work). enjoy!

based off of this ask and these photos

!WARNINGS! alcohol, smut!!!!!, female masterbation, he's creepy kinda (as he always is in my fics, its a reoccurring theme), choking, a lot of force, overstim, rough + raw.

you knew once your frat president, Luigi Mangione, took his shirt off at the party, you were going to have a long night.

not in the way you might think, where you have to take care of him because he's too drunk.

no, that's his problem.

more in a way where you have to take care of yourself, privately.

you stumble up the stairs to your bedroom, your last cup threatening to come back up. you fall back onto your bed and close your eyes, tuning out the party and the rest of the world.

being a frat sweetheart is not as easy as it looks, you truly take care and love all of the boys like they're your actual brothers. and once again, it's not what you think it is.

well, there's one boy you love a little bit more than like a brother. Luigi Mangione, the fraternity president.

oh, Luigi!

you tilt your head back and press your thighs together just at the mere thought of him. you close your eyes and imagine him, his body burned into the back of your eyelids by now.

watching him take his shirt off with Jake and Ryan, he made them look so small compared to him. his back muscles rippled as he jokingly stretched, prepping to shotgun a can of beer. you bit your lip, gluttony taking over you.

you knew you were going to have a long night of fucking yourself, wishing it was Luigi, wishing he would hear you through the thin walls of your frat house and barge into your room to force himself on you.

Jake tossed him a can and he caught it with one hand, his long fingers completely wrapping around the can. you had to lean back on the fence to prevent yourself from falling over on the beer pong table. the people playing paid no attention to you gaping at Luigi from afar.

time seemed to slow down, like you were watching an old porn film from the 80s.

he punched a hole in his can with a key, tilted his head back, flicked the tab open, and began sucking the drink down. your whole body flushed and you relished in the sight.

you nearly moaned watching him swallow over and over, the drink running down his throat, as well as his bare upper body. the beer streamed down his chest and you wished you could get on your knees and lick it all off him.

you had to press your thighs together, your panties shamefully wetter than ever. they were practically sopping by the time you got up to your room.

you don't even bother taking your clothes off, you just pull your ruined panties to the side and plunge your fingers inside of yourself, gasping at the intrusion.

with your eyes closed, you're able to pretend luigi's fingers are deep inside of you, stretching you out, preparing you to take his cock. you moan out into your empty bedroom.

then you remember a little present that's sitting in the bottom of your underwear drawer: your vibrator. you hop up, dig through your drawer and smile at the sight of your loyal, small pink vibrator. how could you forget about her?

you hop back into bed and actually settle in this time: abandon your dress on the floor and hide under the safety of your blankets. you press the small "on" button and hold the buzzing vibrator onto your clit. your back arches, your hips rock and a moan slips out of you uncontrollably.

your mind flickers with images of Luigi, one sticking out more than the others: him rocking his hips into your for the first time and his jaw dropping at the sensation of your pussy gripping onto him.

you slip one finger in your hole, then another, and eagerly fuck yourself with a hunger so deep, a longing, a horrible desire for Luigi Mangione.

it feels like you're moaning right to his face, begging him to make love to you.

on the other side of the wall, Luigi has his ear pressed against the thin thing you called a wall. he gasps when your vibrator begins buzzing, the tent in his shorts growing even more.

it's so erotic, filthy, almost creepy, what's happening now. you fingering yourself, imagining him, yearning for him. him on the other side of the wall, listening to your moans and your pussy squelching around your fingers.

"oh, Luigi," you moan, louder than before, "fuck me, please!"

when he hears you moan his name, he loses all self control completely and furiously enters your bedroom. but you don't notice him.

and there you were, pleasuring yourself in front of him like a divine entity. your mouth stayed open, trembling and letting out small whimpers every time you grinded on your fingers.

your fingers, your soft hands, so small compared to his.

just wait until my fingers are inside of you.

he carefully locks the door behind him with a click. the small sound has your eyes flying open.

"luigi!" you shout in surprise, holding your covers over your chest to protect what little dignity you have left. you fumble your still-buzzing vibrator and to your demise, it rolls down off your bed and onto the floor.

he looks between the vibrator and you. your heart beats so intensely you fear he could hear it from across the room. you grip onto your bed sheets for dear life and regret all of your life choices.

unfortunately for you, your small pink magic wand rolls across the floor, right to luigi's feet. he picks it up and presses the "on" button, filling the room with a deep silence for the first time.

he stalks up to your bed agonizingly slow. his eyes ares are full of a dark emotion, which you can't tell if its desire, or anger. or both?

"what do we have here?" he smirks, holding the toy out with his thumb and pointer finger. you try and reach for it, but he's faster than you are. he swerves his arm backwards when you lunge at him, lucky enough to catch a glimpse of your nipple that you accidentally flashed. even more blood rushes to his already aching cock.

"what are you wearing?"

you hesitate, knowing you're completely bare besides your thin panties you've pulled to the side.

"come on, show me." he nods to you, reaching down to palm his cock with his empty hand.

you look up into his eyes, the look on his face sending a shiver over your whole body.

you hesitantly pull the covers off your body, revealing your chest first.

"fuck," he groans, licking his lips and continuing to touch himself, "keep going baby."

you push the sheet off the rest of your body, revealing your bare skin to him for the first time. your skin burns under his heated gaze.

"god, you're so beautiful," he mutters. he shakes his head in disbelief. his eyes run all over your body and you press your thighs together.

he crawls onto your bed, his weight on the mattress making you slide towards him slightly. his broad shoulders cast a shadow over you.

he grabs the side of your neck and forces your lips on his roughly. you had no choice but to kiss him back, moaning into his animalistic kiss. you grasp onto his collared shirt and pull him down on you, his weight crashing onto your body.

he comes up from the kiss, you two heavy breathing in unison. your eyes flutter open and your met with his built arms caged around your head. before you can look into his eyes he's ducking into your neck and kissing down the side, where his hand once was. his scruff slightly scratched your soft skin.

"you smell so good," he whispered into your neck, making you whimper softly.

he drags his hand down your silhouette, lightly grazing the side of your tit before resting on your hip, right on your waistband. he hooked his finger around the thin fabric and attempted to pull them down with your help.

he drags his tongue up your neck, nibbling on your earlobe.

"I heard you, touching yourself for me." he murmurs into your ear, "you wanted me to fuck you, hm?"

"please," you whimper softly, grasping onto his wide back.

"you wanted me to make you feel good, I'm here now," he slides his hand down to your bare, already sensitive pussy, "you're already so wet f'me."

your whole body shudders against him. he kisses you soothingly, your whimpers lost in his lips. he slides his fingers through your folds, getting them soaked in your cream. his digits teased your hole and you grasp onto his curls, pushing him down on you harder.

"please, lu," you cry into his kiss. he finally slips 2 fingers into you, his thumb stretching to press onto your clit. your back arches against him and your nipples rub against his shirt.

he breaks the kiss first and presses his forehead against yours, his eyes full of greed.

"you're so pretty," he groaned as your pussy gripped his fingers, creating a satisfying wet noise as he intruded in you. you grinded against his digits, allowing him to feel you completely.

he curled his fingers and pressed on your clit just right and whispered "cum for me."

his name fell from your lips in a moan as your orgasm washed over you. he reveled in the sight of your orgasm, your head tilted back on your pillows and thighs shaking around him. he continues fucking his fingers into your pulsing pussy, his forearm straining.

"mmm, lui," you struggle to get out, head whipping from side to side as he overstimulates you. you try and push him off you but he's much stronger than you are.

he ends up pressing his hand to your throat, cutting off your airflow, just like you wanted him to. he presses his long fingers into your sensitive skin, making sure to leave markings. you grasp onto his wrist and desperately buck against him.

"you think you're ready now?" he hissed. you try and speak but nothing comes out. you nod desperately.

he removes his hands from you and you whine at the loss of warmth, but enjoy the sight of him stripping in front of you. he sits back and takes his shirt off, revealing his chest to you again. you bite your lip at the sight, admiring the body you know he worked to have. each one of his abs were shaped so perfectly they almost looked fake. his v-line, so defined its almost edging you. his happy trail runs from his belly button to below his waistline and you wish you could feel it on your forehead as he uses your face.

"you like what you see?" he laughs at you below him.

"and what if I do?" you shrug, reluctantly tearing your eyes off his abs.

he does the same thing to you, tearing his shorts and boxers off in one go so he can finally stroke himself. he runs his thumb over his tip, already wet with pre-cum, and his eyes run down your body. he cant believe this is real, he cant believe you're really bare in front of him, begging for him to have you.

he begins stroking himself, using his pre-cum as a lubricant, his hungry eyes locking onto your breasts, rising and falling with every breath you took.

his heavy eyes fell to your hips, the ones he'd been dreaming of holding. occasionally he'd use your hips to guide you, hold you for a photo, or just slipping past you in the house, and those small touches would have him gooning later.

you have no choice but to watch as he agonizingly strokes himself in front of you. tired of waiting for him, you push yourself up and grasp the back of his head, pulling him down to kiss you. your hand came between you two and wrapped around his thick cock. your mouth watered with a need to taste him.

"shit," he groaned, breaking the kiss, "I don't have a condom."

"I don't either, it's fine, I'm clean." you assure him, kissing him again.

"I haven't been with anyone since you moved in," he murmurs through the kiss. you pump kiss cock faster, feeling his veins pulsing.

"lay back, I need you," he groans deeply. you reluctantly let go of his cock and settle back onto the pillows. he follows you, pressing his weight onto you again, your bare chests touching.

he grinds his cock through your slick folds, shuddering at the feeling. he presses his forehead onto yours and grabs the back of your head with one of his hands.

he reaches down and aligns his raw tip with your dripping hole, advancing into you finally. his jaw fell open at the feeling of your pussy gripping him.

"lu, mm," you whimpered, your mind going blank. he bottomed out and kissed your lips feverishly. the sensation of him fully in you was so overwhelming you couldn't do anything but lay there and take him. he raised his hips and slammed them back into yours, making you both moan.

"you feel so fucking good," he grunted through gritted teeth, his pace picking up. he looked down at your pussy taking him, watching his cock (which now had a ring of your arousal around the base) go in and out of you smoothly.

"god," he looked up at you and smiled, his perfect white teeth glistening. "you're amazing."

you wrapped your legs around his waist and forced him into you deeper, laying back in pure ecstasy.

the sound of his skin slapping on yours and the bed frame creaking filled the room.

it almost prevented you from hearing him sneakily turn on your vibrator.

while your eyes were closed, intoxicated on his dick, he pressed your vibrating toy onto your sensitive clit.

"oh my god," you nearly screamed, your back arching into him. he pressed you down flat again, still pounding into you while pinning the vibrator onto you.

you tried to force your legs shut but he grabbed your thighs, ferally forcing them back down on the mattress.

"It's too much," you moaned, trying to get away from him. you pushed on his lower stomach, trying to push him away. (you shamefully enjoyed the feeling of his hard abs rippling under your hand).

"you can take it," he kept on spreading you open, ruthlessly tormenting your pussy with his cock and now your toy.

"please, Luigi," you shouted, your voice mixed with pain and pleasure, "I can't do it."

he ignores your protests and blocks your throat with his hand again, successfully shutting you up and making you take it.

"that's it, pretty girl, you can do it." he leaned down to leave a peck on your forehead, but came back up quick to keep looking at you.

he thought you looked so gorgeous like this. it was electrifying, finally getting to have you. and to make you feel so good.

you resort to scratching your fingernails into his back, leaving your marks with every hard thrust.

he feels your walls clamp around him harder, his cock pulsing.

"you gonna cum again?" he asks you, knowing you cant say anything. he fucks into you impossibly harder than before, his cock hitting your cervix with every thrust.

"yeah, do it for me pretty girl, il mio tesoro, cum on my cock," he groans, still pressing the vibrator onto you.

you uncontrollably thrash under him, grasping onto his shoulder with your nails. your second orgasm hit you with much more force than the first, the coil in your stomach coming undone much harder. your vision went dark and you came all over his raw cock. you clamped around him so hard he almost couldn't fit inside of you, your cum overflowing all over the bed and his skin.

somewhere in your high, he turned the vibrator off and stored it away.

when you came down, he finally slipped out of you and fell back on the bed beside you, heavy breathing. sweat dripped down both of your bodies and the sheets was soaked beneath you.

you were too caught up in your own pleasure to notice that he didn't finish.

you finally opened your eyes and were met with him gazing at you, a light smile on his face.

"hey, bella ragazza, how are you?" he whispers.

"I'm better than ever."

"you need some water?" he asks, gently reaching for the water bottle on your nightstand. you nod silently. he holds the bottle up to you and you take a small sip.

"you probably need this more than me, you did all the work." you smile lazily. he shakes his head and smiles.

"I'm sure your throat is sore, drink."

you giggle.

"did you like that, by the way," he asks shyly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I did," you nod, affirming his worries, "maybe a little too much."

"oh, you're freaky." he laughs.

"hmph, only for you."

he takes a swig out of the bottle and your eyes fall down his body, noticing his dick is still hard.

"hey, lu, did you cum?"

"that'll be for another time baby, I have a frat party to attend to," he says, slipping out of your bed.

"you promise?" you hold onto his arm and whimper, desperate for him.

he leans down and kisses your forehead. "I promise. go to sleep now, we'll talk in the morning."

as your eyes flicker shut, he puts his once-discarded clothes back on. he grabs your panties and vibrator, shoving them into his pocket.

later that night, you felt the bed dip and a body pull your back against them. you tried to fight it, but their strong arms held you against them.

"shhh, its just me, go back to sleep." Luigi whispered against your hair.

MASTERLIST - PREV WORK

part 2 incoming where the rest of the frat brothers plan them a frat wedding and he Monica Lewinsky's all on my gown! or another part where he buys you a remote controlled vibrator and makes you wear it at another frat party??????? omg I am meaningless mush.

anyways I'm so emo bc we're not gonna see Luigi until January or February :( I hope he's okay :((((

!TAGS!

@strawbrriess @bellobambino @f4nfic-lover @btcowboy @chmpgneprblem @soggysouppp @hereandqueer6540 @poohkie90 @bricapallen16 @miarosalie11 @v1rtualsalvat10n @hypnotizedbyhood @webanglikethat @croucify @cumdnmp @ga33y3 @zeervzn @marzipanlvr @seesaw-it @raekensluver @ddlydevotion @hujirose @darleneslane

[jameui]

SCHOOL RIVAL

PAIRING: Sim Jaeyun x M!Reader

GENRE: Smut, Angst, Fluff

WARNING: academic rivals to lovers trope, i got too lazy to proofread

SUMMARY: You find yourself who's as competent as you in terms of academic. So, what happens after one night you make love and fall in love?

You eyed your test paper once more, with your chest full of pride and your ego once more heavily fed, hearing the whispers of your classmates in the background saying you got the highest mark again. '99%', it said on your paper. Sure, you could have done better, but the fact that you have the biggest percentage is enough for you. You let out a sigh and patted yourself. "I did it again," You told yourself, proudly.

"Sim Jaeyun." The name made your ears ring, rolling your eyes in annoyance. The said male looked up from his phone and stood up to get his test results with a smile. He expressed his gratitude to the teacher and claims his test paper. He sat down first before he checked the mark written on the upper left side of the paper. He chuckles.

He turns on his chair and looks at you with that same boastful smirk riding on the edge of his lips. This can't be good, you thought to yourself. He picks up his test paper and showed you the result written on it. He points at it and mouths 'A hundred percent', which added fuel to your fire as you started to grip harder on your paper and gritted your teeth. "Congratulations, Mr. Sim on acing the test this time again," The teacher announced to which made the students clap their hands and cheer for the blonde male.

He winks at you in a teasing manner, his smirk growing wider at the sight of your reaction. "This will be the last, Sim," you threatened the male in a whisper, stabbing the younger male with multiple knives inside your head. That male just knew how to strike your nerve in the worst possible way. Jaeyun had always been the type of male to test your limits since the beginning of his transfer in the school.

Academically, Jaeyun or Jake, for short, always competed with you and he didn't even try to surpass you, because he always did. Even if you did your studies night to day, every hour, Jaeyun was always a step ahead of your every action. It's as though he's able to read your mind and he takes advantage to know your every move and hold you back down. It's almost like a neverending play of chess.

Right after classes, your classmates quickly made their way to Jake to congratulate him and patted him on the back for a job well done. Acting modest, he continued on saying he just got lucky, as per usual, and your classmates would simply praise him that he is just THAT smart. If he had to answer a 500-item pen and paper test, Jake would have still aced it.

Angrily, you hitch your bag over your shoulder and stood up almost immediately, dragging the chair which took the attention of your classmates. You clap your hands, in full sarcasm. "Always at the top, Sim. It makes my heart swell with pride as the class president," You stated with a faux smile, approaching the group. "Keep it up," You said, before placing a hand on Jake's shoulder and gives it a nice, painful pinch which made Jake scream and stand away from you. With a smirk on your face, you smugly looked at him and walked away without any sense of guilt.

"I'll fucking beat that knucklehead one day." You went on, cursing the Australian in your head. For once, all you wanted was to just speed up your way to the top. You always wished there is a shortcut to beating that blonde you've always loathed. One day, maybe not today, you'll make sure Jake regrets ever trying to compete with you. To the point where Jake will be on his knees, begging for your mercy. You chuckle smugly at the thought of it, finding it hilarious that Jake will soon be desperate.

You chugged down your sixth liter-bottle of beer and let out a sigh as you started to slur, your eyes barely open as you spoke. "You know, I don't even care if he's here. I'll speak about how much I hate him, even if it meant exchanging my life for it," you said, Jake hearing everything as one side of his lips lifted up casually and took a sip from his own drink,

witnessing everything. Starting from how you tried to deny the offer to drink, down to where you were already lifting bottles of beer to your mouth. He had to admit, he found it cute that you're being all drunk and still have it in you to express how much you despise him.

"I appreciate how you still think about me. Even when you're this drunk already, L/N." Jake wanted to see your reaction, so he tried to tease you as you knitted your brows and stood up. You approached him, not even able to walk straight, but still made it to him as the taller male looked at you with that expression of pride written all over his face, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Want to say something, Y/N?" He mocked you, you looked at him, dead in the eyes, before you're finally engulfed by a sudden wave of sleepiness and fell to the ground which shocked everyone, but the Australian.

He heaved out a sigh of relief, while he stood up and decided to pick you up, carrying you in his arm. "Don't worry, everyone. I'll make sure Y/N gets home safely," Jake stated and everyone, with furrowed brows, could only nod their head as the strong male bid them farewell with a reassuring smile and carried you out of the place and into his car's passenger seat, settling you down comfortably. "Oh god, you're so heavy." He hears you groan, your lips pushed forward into a pout, your brows meeting at the middle. He laughs softly at the sight.

When you're finally settled down, he puts your seatbelt on and made his way to his side of the car, whistling to a tune he always heard on the radio when he went to school. He didn't exactly find it his cup of tea, but it sure was a catchy one that his brain endlessly played like a broken record. Although, he knew you'd be the one who'll mostly like the song. You loved a little bit of classical jazz music in your playlist.

He knew you to well, all because he's been admiring you since the beginning. Since before the time you found him inferior and considered him as an academic rival. Especially the way you treated him on his first day. He didn't know anything about the place and froze in his place, standing idly, not knowing where to go even when he already had in his hand the school map. "Uh..." Jake uttered out, confused and looked around him. This didn't look like the school cafeteria at all. He looked back down at his map and scratched his head. "I think I'm lost," He said in a whisper.

"Oh?" He heard a voice start from behind him. It took his attention, averting his gaze from his towards you who seemed as confused as him. "Sim Jaeyun, right? The new kid," You asked him and the male nods his head in reply. You drew nearer to him with a smile, all the while asking him a question. "What are you doing here, all alone? Perhaps, lost?"

The used to be ravenette sighed and gave you another nod. "I am. I think. This map doesn't seem to be doing its work. I was trying to get to the cafeteria for lunch, but then look where it brought me," He answered, his brows knitted together a little in temperance. You managed to get a sight of the map he was using and noticed something a little funny to you.

"Well, it would also seem that what you're 'working on', is upside down," You td him with a small chuckle and adjusted the paper he held and turned it around. "There. That should do it." You let out a giggle, finding his antics a tad bit cute when he blushes red out if pure embarrassment. He couldn't even look at you in the eye. "Anyways, I was just headed to the cafeteria. Wanna join me?" You asked the other male, who simply nods for the third time of your interaction with him.

He knew he an just missed being able to communicate with you like that without being too cocky. Because since the time you began to see him as a rival to be at the top of the class, all he ever could think of doing is get on your nerves. He had to admit, the praises he received the first time he had a higher mark than you gave his ego a huge push to do better. But, that was his mistake. Weren't for that, you wouldn't have changed a thing and he wouldn't be stressing about the expectation of others.

Sure, he didn't have to make an effort to exceed, but he had his worst days as well. He's human after all. He literally overthinks about the simplest things. Sometimes, his instincts just seem to stop working when he's stumped or when he's not feeling well at all. He feels stupid after that and when that happens, he'd consider himself incompetent and dumb. Sometimes, he just wanted to seek for your help and bask in your warmth to calm him down. But, alas, the situation between you two is complicated snd immature.

He shakes his head to push the thoughts away and sighs through the holes of his nose, relaxing for a minute before he inserts his car key in and starts the engine up, but before he could even move his hand to maneuver, he feels a hand on his thigh. His eyes moved towards your hand, then to you and gets a shock when he realizes you are sobbing. "Y/N—"

"I hate you, Jake. I know I should," You commented and Jake just went all ears on what you have to say. Something must be troubling you that you had to break your bottled up emotions. "But, do I really? Or is it the fact that I get jealous when you get a little too close with other people? I should have been the only one who knew your wits. I should have been the only who knew you really well. It should have only been me," You stated which garnered a shocked look on Jake who couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did you just confess to him?

"I've liked you Jake. Since your transfer. That's why I treated you different than the others. I was so proud of you the first time you received a test result higher than mine," You said with a small smile on your face, yet tears still fell from your eyes. "But when others started to get too close to you, I wanted them to stop. That's why I tried to surpass you, so they wouldn't get too close, but you always did and it made me angry. Jealous." You looked up at him and your eyes locked together, both longing for something to satisfy their love deprived hearts.

You lift your hand up to feel the smooth skin of his face, caressing it gently. "I want to be the only one, Jake," You said, your eyes never leaving his hazel brown orbs. "I want you to just take me as yours." And it only took that for Jake to break, the both of you felt the visible tension between you two, before he quickly removes the seat belt you have on and desperately let both of your lips collide together as though longing for each other's heat.

Your faces moved in different positions to accommodate the sens of your kiss, a soft moan moved past your lips, the other male swallowing the noise down, which switched something inside of him. Something that unlocked hidden intentions inside of him. It wasn't that hard for Jake to suddenly take the lead as he pushed his tongue inside your wet cavern as he started to make your tongues dance in a rhythm only the both of you knew. He languidly moves his tongue inside you and made sure to have a taste of every corner of your mouth, as your eyes fell close, only focused in the heat of the moment.

After a few minutes, Jake was the first to pull away, resting his head on yours. "Did you want this, Y/N?" Jake smirks, wiping the tears from your cheeks, as you blushed and shyly nodded your head. "Wanna take this to my house, yeah?" Jake suggested, before he plants a small kiss on your forehead.

You hear him throw his car keys somewhere inside the room as he pulls you towards him and latch his lips onto yours which you accepted, before you push further to deepen the kiss. Jake sees this as an invitation as he sticks his tongue back in you to finish off what he started earlier and took no effort to link his with yours, which made the taller male smirk and you felt it all on the skin of your face.

Jake cups your face to hold you in place as he took back his lead and manages to do all the work, while you quickly tried to match his pace. A hefty laugh resonate from the Australian's throat, then pulls away earning a soft whimper from you at the loss of contact. "You're a bad kisser, Y/N. Did you know that?" One side of his lips curves upward into a smirk. "It doesn't matter. I could teach you all night," He said, before he takes your lips again to continue basking in your taste.

You pull down on the bottom of his shirt. Jake gives you time for a breather and looks straight at you like a predator to its prey. "T-Take it off," You told him, but the male was a tease and decided to make you look funny. He found it cute. He can't help it.

"Take what off?" Jake tilts his head to the side, feeling pretentious. You know he's teasing you, but you gave in to him. You completely willed to submit to him.

"Take your clothes off, please." You sounded like you were begging for something from the male and you are at this point. You wanted to see his piping hot body. The ones you've only seen in photos of others.

Jake laughs darkly. "Well, aren't you an impatient one. But, sure. If that's what my prince wants." The nickname makes you look up at him with your cheeks tinted red. Even in the darkness of the room Jake could see the blush on your face. He raises a brow and licks his lips. "You're a little shy after I called you—"

"Don't... say it, again," You told him. The other male gently lets go of you, as he takes your hand and presses on a switch that automatically turned the room bright red. "Where are you taking me?" You asked the male.

"Help me take my clothes off." The male suggested as he sat himself down on his bed, effortlessly placing you down his lap, your feet dangling on either side of his muscular thighs. You didn't know what to do with this man. He completely looks like he's been doing this for who knows how long. Suddenly, you find yourself overthinking.

He takes your attention when he takes your hand and placed your hand on his chest. He saw you frozen in place, then he leans his head forward towards you. Meanwhile, you tried to keep the distance between you two, but Jake pulls on your arm which forces you to move closer, an audible yelp coming out of your mouth. "I know you want to," Jake hissed, his words falling like venom.

You slowly looked at his body, then back up at him. Jake gave you a nod of approval and removes his grip on your hand to let you do your job on your own. Now that you've been given the chance, you didn't let it get away, but the same thought circled around your head. It's gotten worse in just a span of a minute that Jake noticed. The male halting his plays for a while and worries about you first.

"Something in your head, Y/N?" You're quickly snapped awake from your train of thoughts and raised your head to face him. "What's worrying you, hon? Care to tell? I don't mind listening for a while." He sounded really worried right now.

You shake your head in reply. "It's nothing. I just got distracted a little," You answered, but Jake didn't fully buy it. He knew something was bothering you.

The blonde pushes his hair back and sighed, propping himself back with his hand and uses the spare one to caress the side of your face. "Y/N, I can't just do anything while I know something's troubling you. It's just not right," Jake commented, his brows furrowed in concern. His hazel brown orbs were looking directly into your E/C ones. "Tell me what's bothering you," Jake gave you an encouraging smile.

You hesitated and gave it a little thought, your lips pursed. You opened your mouth to tell him what's om your mind. "How long have you been doing this? I mean, bringing men or women into your place for this kind of things?" You asked him, which sounded too arrogant, yet your sincerity seeped through your words. You are skeptical and you wanted assurance from Jake.

"I've never brought anyone into my house or anywhere at all. You'd be my first. If it helps, uh, it's a little embarrassing, but books. I learned how people gets turned on by words like that through the books I read," Jake scratched the back of his neck.

You raise him a brow and giggle. "What kind of books are you reading?" You ask him.

Jake finds this cute, that you're being curious about the things he likes to read, but decided to use it to tease you. "Do you want me to show you?"

"Will you?" You asked him, but Jake looks at you only with a smirk.

Jake lets out a soft chuckle, before his voice turns an octave lower as he drew closer to you and whispered into your ear. "I will, but not now. We still have a show to finish," Jake tells you and you immediately blush. You bury your head in the crook of his neck out of embarrassment. The laughter from the taller male reverberates through his thick skin as you nestled your head closer to him. "Stop acting shy now, Y/N. We were just getting started," he teases with a mocking laughter.

Jake takes initiative and starts creating marks on your exposed neck, which made you pull away and cover the part where it felt wet to you. You look at Jake, who only looked calm with a smile on his face. "Jake, what..." You let out in disbelief. "Just not somewhere that's not easy to hide,"

You hear a low chuckle from the other male. "Honey, this is fun and all, but I can't be doing all the wotk here," He said, the sound of his voice sending shivers down your spine, with every strand of hair on your skin standing om its end. "It's time you get on your knees and show me what you're made of, Y/N."

His voice didn't sound anything like the ones youd usually here at school. Where he's always too pitchy and happy-go-lucky, right now he's acting like a totally different person. If you were still drunk (which you still are, but just a bit), you wouldn't even think this was Jake you're paired up with.

You hear the sound of the bed shuffle which took your attention. You feel his hot breathe near your ear before he whispers. "Clock is ticking, L/N,"

You shyly nodded your head, you wished he won't notice just how flushed your face is getting with the way he's treating you. It's too sexy and too much of it might actually kill you. You started to move downwards, the bleach haired male's eyes lingering, watching your every move.

As you start to get down on your knees, Jake uses the moment to unbutton his button down shirt as though to coax you into doing more with him. It's his sign that he's getting excited, besides the growing bulge that formed a huge tent on his pants.

You looked up to see Jake gently eyeing you down, before he gave you a nod of approval, but your eyes fell down his well-built abdomen. You gulped as you felt yourself get hard at the sight. "Don't worry, prince. Everything you see is yours," You blush harder at his statement. "Now, get to work," his authoritative voice sounded less threatening and more calm. He's being gentle with you.

You took his dick out from its restraints, Jake biting his lips when he felt the cold air come in contact with his now exposed member. On instinct, Jake's hand find its way on top of your head, his head thrown back. He knows you're trying to teas him, but he'll just have to see how far you'll go until he finally had enough.

Jake lets out a silent sigh when he feels the wetness of your mouth start to revolve around the tip of his cock. "Ah, fuck..." Jake groans out in pure pleasure, a proud smirk glued itself onto his face, his fingers entangling themselves with your short H/C locks, turned on at he sight of you om your knees while you tried to fit his girth in both your hand and mouth.

He wouldn't say he had a big package, but it was a fuel to his ego to see you having a hard time to fit him all in. You tried to push your head down, but it felt like immediately making you gag as you pulled away. "Y-You're too big, Jake," you gave a comment, which only fed his ego more.

"There's no complaining when we're this far already, Y/N." Jake tried to make it seem that he's not flattered with the words that came out of your mouth. You complied to him and put his thick head back into your mouth, this time pushing him deeper into your wet cavern.

Jake's breathe hitched at the action, before you start to bob your head at a slow pace, trying to fit all that you can take of the foreigner's thick rod into your mouth. To you, Jake owned an unusual size for a dick, I mean, before you can even take him all in, you're already choking. You're not even halfway there yet.

You swallow around his cock which earned you a whistle from Jake who lets out a pleasured sigh, before you hear a low groan from above you, Jake stroking the roots of your hair slowly. "Didn't know you had a talent for sucking a cock good. Guess I just didn't see it in you," Jake smirks, using his feet nearest to your crotch to grope the outline of your own cock in your pants.

You let out a moan, muffled by the massive size of his cock in your mouth and the contact of his touch on your dick. The vibrations sends sensations down his cock, whilst Jake couldn't handle it any longer, the hand behind your head grabs a fistful of your hair before he thrusts his whole length in your mouth, forcing you to take all of his length. "I guess, I'll have to take matters into my own hands after all.

You immediately gagged, eyes widening in shock while you tried to get away from Jake, but the latter held you in place as though he didn't want to let you get away. Before you could even comprehend anything, he gives you a really rough start, as gagging noise came out of you mouth, your eyes rolling back to the back of your head.

Unconsciously, you've already wet your pants upon the pleasure of his force. "Fucking whore. You came because of that?" Jake laughs in a sinister manner, smirking proudly.

His pace was rigorous and didn't give you the chance to adjust, but without much of a choice you had to even if it takes you long enough before you grow accustomed to his movements and his massive cock. It isn't easy. After all, this is your first time... since the last time you had which was way back before you even stepped your second year in college.

Jake continued to fasten his pace, gritting his teeth as he just used you to become his personal fleshlight, groaning and moaning at the sensation he felt when his cock endlessly hit he back of your throat. Holy shit, Y/N. Your mouth.. hah, I fucking love your mouth. FUCK!" He lets out, his eyes shutting close when he gives your mouth one last strong thrust, moving oast your throat

You quickly choked, but immediately relaxed your gag reflex when you start to feel something warm flow down the tightness of your throat. Having no much choice, you chose to let Jake take control over you, giving up instantly to his command as you swallowed his cum, not wasting a single drop.

He thrusts a few more times to ride out his high, panting. He lets his cock rest in you for a while as you use your tongue to wipe him clean. "Shit..." Jake moves his hair back as he lets you do your own thing, his body falling back his bed.

Now that he's completely exposed, he casually just removes his pants that fell down his ankles after you were done with what you had to do.

You got back up to your feet, wiping your mouth. Jake, then remembers that you've completely soiled your pants because of his doing. He sat up and grabs something from the side of his table. It was a towel. "Let's get you cleaned up," Jake said with a much more kind tone to his voice.

He stands from his bed, still completely naked, except for the polo he was wearing. He held out a hand for you to take, which you did nd he guides you to his bathroom. "Let me know if you need anything, aight?" He told you, before he gives your cheek a kiss and leaves you to be on your own and closed the door, but then opens it again. "Or do you want me to shower with—"

"No! I mean, I'm okay on my own, Jake. Th-Thanks." You quickly cut him off, the male rising his hands in surrender and backs away as he closed the door. Once he disappears from your sight, you let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding. "What... What is happening?"

The teacher starts to talk right after he did a roll call, the students jotting down notes in their notebook as to not miss anything tht are being spoken by the teacher. It could come in handy at times, especially knowing that this specific teacher does not provide any kind of learning material for the students. Considering it as 'spoon feeding' which shouldn't be done since the students are already in college.

You and Jake, on the other hand, showed little to no attention to the lecture. One had a smile on his face after the scenario that had already lasted a few weeks. It carved a very special place in his heart and brain. The other was feeling anxious after the events that took place several nights prior to this day. He didn't know whether it was the fact that he completely showed how vulnerable and submissive he was or the fact that he and and the other have something more precious going on between them two and he decided to just keep it a secret for now. You being the latter.

Knowing Jake, he'd probably not even try to hide it. At least, he'll think he's trying, but end up making it seem a little obvious. Take this time right now for example, he'd be sending you sweet glances with no effort to even hide it and gives you a flying kiss. And, get this, he's sitting in front, while your seated at the back aisle.

"Mr. Sim Jaeyun." The mention of the male's name makes you flinch on your seat as Jake turns towards the teacher casually and smiles. "Can you please answer the question written on the board?"The teacher asks the blonde.

Without even reading the question, he shrugs his shoulders and shake his head. "Unfortunately, sir. I have not opened any of my notes last night. Not even a single one, but Mr. L/N may have an idea." The answer made everyone turn their attention towards you, your eyes growing wide as saucers. "Right, Mr. L/N?" You gave the male a look that asked him what in the world is he trying to do right now?

"Mr. L/N? You have been recommended by Mr. Sim. I suppose you have the answer, correct?" The teacher asked and your eyes focused on the question on the board. Jake laughing softly all the while.

You stood up from your seat, the room growing silent as they anticipate your answer. "Well, to answer the question and for clarification it suggests that you could only save one from two of the dying patients. One being a baby and the other a mother. In this case, in the matter of ethics, it's only logical to save the mother rather than what is unborn. It's plausible, since the mother has stored more values in them than what was yet to live. That.. that would be my answer, sir," You stated. Jake felt so proud of you, right now. "I'm sorry, sir. Can you please excuse me and Mr. Sim? I have important matters to speak with him," You asked for permission from the teacher who nods his head.

"Go ahead," The teacher answers you and you gave him a bow and moves towards Jake's desk and grabs him by the hand nd drags him outside wih you.

A good distance away from the room, you halt your steps and sigh. "Jake, what. The. Hell. You're not even trying to make it seem not obvious," You told the male who just chuckles and and shrugs. "Jake, please. I'm serious. You don't know what will happen if they found out that we're... that we're dating," You said meekly.

"Don't you like it?" Jake pouts. The one he knew you couldn't simply ignore. He knew because you told him that one night, which you find embarrassing now that you're completely sober. You looked away from him with a huff, the taller male only hanging his head low, akin to a dog who feels dejected.

You can't believe this guy. One minute, he acts tough and mighty while he tease you, and suddenly he's acting like a child in front of you. Is he being for real right now? "Jaeyun. You can't snake your way in again with that," You told him, but the male never faltered, making you roll your eyes, before you open your arms to embrace him. "Fine, I'll admit. That was pretty cute of you, but it will affect your final output if you keep pulling such stunts everytime you're asked. I'll get the chance to answer when it's my turn, okay?" You said.

Jake lifts his head a little to face you. You notice the small action and lean backward to see his eyes. They were red? Was he crying?! "Jake! What—I mean, why are you crying?" You asked him completely concerned.

"I thought you were going to hate me," Jake stated out through his tears which internally made your heart leap with joy. You couldn't help, but smile sweetly at him. You could see how much he truly cherished the relationship. He certainly did not want to lose you anytime now. We'll see what happens in the future.

You reached for his face and wiped the tears from his eyes that fell down his cheeks. You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Nothing could ever make me hate you, Jakey. Not unless you start throwing hands. For sure, I'll hate you," You told him and Jake immediately shakes his head as to say 'no', sniffing.

"I could never do that to you. I promise!" Jake cutely swears; even raised an arm up to symbolize he genuinely promised. "I would never do anything to hurt you, prince," he said, before he caress the top of your head with both of his hands and plants a kiss on top of your head. "'cause if I lose you, I'll be losing my world," Jake says something straight out of a novel, yet again. Ones you've read.

"Hey, stop quoting 'If I Ever Love Again'." You gave him a playful slap to the side of his arm and chuckled softly. You hear Jake do the same thing as you look up at him. "Thank you, Jake," You said to him, as to test him if he remembered the things you told him. That when you tell him 'thank you' it meant—

"I love you, too, Y/N. My prince," Jake replied with the sweetest smile riding his lips. "I'll never forget anything. Not even the smallest things," He said and booped your nose with his. You gave him a shy smile and just buried your face in his chest. "What a shy little prince you are."

[collapsedsquid]

And so that brings me to a useful piece of advice for any readers who are aspiring dictators, one that the Communists knew, Suharto knew, but that some modern day tyrants seem to have forgotten. There is always a level of civil unrest that outstrips the capability of even the most loyal and largest regular armed forces to deal with. In all likelihood, as a medium sized emerging market, you will have a capital city with a population of about five or six million, meaing potentially as many as three million adults on the streets in the worst case. Your total active-duty armed forces are unlikely to be a tenth of that. When it becomes a numbers game, there is only one thing that can save you. And that is, a reactionary citizens' militia, to combat the revolutionary citizens' militia. Former socialist republics always used to be fond of buses full of coal miners from way out the back of beyond, but the Iranian basijs are the same sort of thing. Basically, what you need is a large population who are a few rungs up from the bottom of society, who aren't interested in freedom and who hate young people. In other words, arseholes. Arseholes, considered as a strategic entity, have the one useful characteristic that is the only useful characteristic in the context of an Egyptian-style popular uprising - there are fucking millions of them. This is my advice to any aspiring dictator; early on in your career, identify and inventory all the self-pitying, bullying shitheads your country has to offer. Anyone with a grievance, a beer belly and enough strength to swing a pickaxe handle will do. You don't need to bother with military training or discipline because they're hopefully never going to be used as a proper military force - just concentrate on nuturing their sense that they, despite appearances, are the backbone of the country, and allowing them to understand that although rules are rules, there are some people who just need a slap. The bigger and burlier the better, but when the time comes they'll be fighting in groups against people weaker than themselves, often under cover of darkness, so numbers are more important than anything else. The extractive industries are indeed often a good source, as are demobbed veterans (Zimbabwe) or the laity of an established religion.

I thought it was well-understood that you need both the military and paramilitaries to carry out a successful coup but both the South Korean president and online commentators don't seem to recognize this

[bluecollarmcandtf]

M O O N L I G H T ™

Chapter II

On my last sweep of the house, I check each pledge before the party. Moonlight™ is now partnered with Greek life on campus, and it's the perfect tool for hazing. As president, the app recognizes me as their manager, so I alone get to boss the mind controlled idiots around!

"Pledge!" I snap.

"Yes, brother, sir!" he barks back, yelling it loud and clear without any reservations.

I forget what his name is; Jason, maybe? As long as he's being puppetted around by the Moonlight™ app, it doesn't matter. He'll answer to anything I call him with a rigid smile and a purple stare. He might technically be asleep, but honestly I prefer underclassmen this way. They're much less annoying.

"Scrub these toilets good!" I sneer enjoying the way he hangs on my every word, "You're the janitor for Delt-Ep-Phi's party tonight! I don't want to see any shit or puke unless you're mopping it up! Got it?"

"Yes, brother, sir!"

Just like that, my obedient janitor agrees to my orders and resumes mopping like his life depends on it. At the very least, Moonlight™ has made these pledges more effective. It would have been impossible to force menial work on a freshman without getting a half-assed result. Too many of the guys at this school are rich kids from prep schools: the kind that would be mortified to be near a mop, let alone clad in some sticky maintenance uniform. I bet Jacob, or whatever the fuck his name is, would be mortified to find out that this thing hasn't been washed in years. We just keep throwing it in the closet for the next pledge we have moonlight as janitor. The only thing that makes the dank BO of the garb bearable is the accompanying scent of cleaning chemicals.

I ignore the smell and give the guy a slap on the neck, leaving him to mop the bathroom in silence. My next stop is the kitchen, where I check on my younger cousin Tristan. Tonight, he's just the dishwasher.

"Sup, dude," I say, "Grab me a beer."

"Yes, brother, sir!" he yells back like an army cadet, obediently fetching a bottle from the fridge and opening it for me.

"How's dish-duty?"

"It's amazing! I love being the dishwasher, brother, sir!" my cousin beams.

It's weird to see him like this; with glowing eyes and forced grin. The Tristan I know is charming and unbothered, normally gliding through conversation with subtle looks and gestures. He's normally got this cool style that wins over girls and intimidates guys, so it doesn't help that he's all dressed up in the frat's old dish-boy uniform. I really hate that an upperclassman wrote on his forehead. That'll make classes next week a bit awkward. I suppose it's just a normal part of hazing, and I'm not going to make an exception just because he's my family.

"You gonna be a good dishwasher for the party tonight?" I probe, taking a sip of beer.

"Yes, brother, sir!" he declares, "I'll be ready at the sink for anything that needs cleaned, and I'll be ready to refill any of my brother's drinks."

"That's right, and remember only brothers can get a refill. Girls have to ask one of us to get it from you," I make sure to clarify. It makes it a lot easier to pick up girls when they have to approach us for their next drink. If only I could use Moonlight™ on them to put them to work as the frat's strippers or something. That'd really be getting the most out of the app!

Heavy bass blares from the other room: the party's getting started. I've already spent too much time with Tristan, so I say bye to my cousin and head on out to the main area.

Standing by the door is our coat rack: his name's Kyle, and he's much better as furniture.

"Your arms tired yet, Kyle?" I sneer.

"No, brother, sir!" he grins back.

I laugh a bit when I notice someone wrote a 'kick me' message, pointing at his crotch. A guy like Kyle could definitely use a good kick in the nuts. The freshman came to our call-out with an insanely high opinion of himself. He seemed to think he had every right to get in because he was a legacy. Apparently, his dad is rich alumni so we couldn't refuse him, but that didn't make him immune to our new hazing ritual via Moonlight™. He definitely got the worst job in the house. He might not be scrubbing toilets or cleaning dishes, but his arms are sure to be sore as fuck by morning; not to mention all the kicks in the groin he's guaranteed to get!

"Are you gonna hold those coats, pledge?" I snarl in his face, getting only a cold smile in return.

"Yes, brother, sir!"

"And why is that?" I spit menacingly.

"Because I'm a coat rack, brother, sir!"

"That's right, and coat racks don't react when they get a kick in the balls, right?"

"No, brother, sir!"

With a chuckle, I swing my foot into his crotch. Kyle jerks, but his lips remain stretched across his face in a toothy grin. His body can't help but flinch at the sudden pain, but it only takes a second for Moonlight™ to reassert control. Barely a few seconds have passed and he's back, stiffly holding his arms out, sweating from the effort of being completely still.

"Thank you, brother, sir!" he manages to say. I guess one of the upperclassmen told Kyle to thank anyone who gives him a kick. That'll be a fun little party trick!

I give the guy a little slap on the face before I leave. Tonight's party is gonna be off the hook! I've still got some time before it starts, maybe I can catch a minute to relax in my room. It's not that late yet, but I'm starting to feel the effects of a long day. I'd love to just lay down, even just for a second.

Unfortunately, I fall asleep...

The next day, I wake up when my phone dings with a notification from the frat group chat...

"What the fuck!" I jump out of bed, "What is this picture?"

Though I don't want it to be true, the picture appears to be me. I'm dressed up like some stupid waiter, with the same cringe smile and glowing eyes as any the other Moonlight™ employee, but that can't be right. We only use the app on pledges! There's no way in hell any of my brothers would sign me up like this!

I rack my brain for any memory of last night's party, trying to recall any clue that'll tell me this picture is a lie. The endeavor only hurts my head, but I do notice that I feel unusually sweaty for having just gotten an entire night's rest. My arm feels sore, and my pajamas feel awkward like I was drunk pulling them on.

"Dude, you were a great manservant last night!" one text reads.

"Totally think you should quit that finance degree and be a full-time butler!"

"I could get used to you fetching us drinks and giving us foot rubs!" another adds, "We should have done this years ago!"

I stare at the texts in horror and step into my bathroom. Sure enough, I see the word 'buttler' written across my forehead in sharpie. Someone must have thought it was hilarious to draw a stupid goatee on my face as well. My eye twitches as I stare at my reflection, rage boiling up inside of me.

"Why the fuck did you do that to me!" I text back, "I'm the fucking president!" Even through the phone, my words drip with malice.

"Don't dish out what you can't take!" one replies simply, "Just a prank, bro!"

I try to slow my breaths, but my fists are clenched painfully tight. I'm gonna beat whoever's idea this was! It's one thing for us to use Moonlight™ on freshmen, but I'm a senior and I refuse to spend my last year in this frat moonlighting as a butler! I'm supposed to be getting drunk and laid at these parties! Not marching around with a bowtie and silver tray, serving drinks and whatever the fuck else!

"I wouldn't get yourself too worked up, dude," a guy texts, "You might be in control now that your awake, but remember you're at our whim the second you fall asleep. I could have you scrubbing the floor with your toothbrush tonight if you don't behave yourself. Lol."

The message makes me see red, but he's right. An overwhelming sense of helplessness falls over me. I could beat those fuckers up now, but what would that make them do later? They already wrote on my face with permanent ink! What if they made me shave my head or get a tattoo! Fuck!

This can't be legal, but honestly, I have no idea what the contract stated when we signed up for the app! How do I even go about cancelling this Moonlight™ job? The tech is so convoluted and hard to use!

In the meantime, I'll be lucky if all they make me do is serve them their drinks and do their chores. I guess I can live with that for a short while.

With a grimace of resignation, I text back, "Good one, guys."

[webslingingslasher]

I Swear I Don't Know Who That Man Is

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Genre: fluff/angst

Word Count: 5K

Summary: you got wasted and called peter to pick you up, you also don't realize it's him right away.

Peter Parker hates parties. 

But, he loves you. That’s why he’s currently allowing his eardrums to burst apart and have his shoulders constantly being checked from the other bodies surrounding him. It’s giving him the type of overstimulation where he wants to throw everyone to the side and scream at everybody to shut the fuck up. Instead he pushes through the crowd and tries his best to find you as quickly as he could. 

“Yo Parker! Is that you?” 

Peter wants to roll his eyes, how is Tarrent going to look directly at him, use his name even and then follow it up with asking if it is in fact, who he thought. Peter thinks about ignoring him until Tarrents hand claps him on the shoulder and digs his fingers in as he drags him to the kitchen island. 

“Parker’s here, pour 'em up!” Tarrent waves his hand at his friend with the bottle, he shrugs and follows instructions. Peter is busy looking around for you. 

“Thought you weren’t the party type, Parker.” 

Peter grabs the shot from Dalton, the one with the bottle, who poured them at the request of his frat president. 

“I’m not really, I’m on boyfriend duty right now.” 

Tarrent rips a nearly empty beer can from his lips, foam spilling out and his fingers slightly dented the can in his hold. “Where’s she at? Should I get D to pour a shot?” Peter’s always been confused by Tarrent, he was kind of a dick. Not the intentional type of dick, but the overall stupid dick. He’s always been a fan of Peters, he never let anyone pick on him and always was his buddy when he was in the room. 

Peter eyes the shot in his hand, he doesn’t want to do this. 

He doesn’t get drunk, unless he drinks an abnormal amount. Instead he just gets to taste all the burn with none of the fun side effects. 

“Not sure, she was supposed to get a ride home with Linzey, but then she called me up here.” 

Tarrent nods, “Linzey with the tits? They’re honkin dude, you should see ‘em.” 

Peter blinks at him, “Yeah, she has boobs alright.” 

Tarrent raises his shot glass, “To tits!” 

Peter raises his own shot glass, “To tits!” He tries to forget that you would pinch his arm if you heard him say that. Then taps the glass on the counter twice in unison with his friend before throwing it back. 

His nose wrinkles slightly, warm vodka was absolutely terrible. 

“So, Parker. Wanna play a round of pong?” 

Peter thinks he doesn’t know his first name, he’s never once called him it. 

“I would but I’ve never played and I have a girlfriend to find.” 

Tarrent claps his hands, “Tell you what, you play a round with me and I’ll send D to get your girl. Sound good?” 

Peter thinks about it, he really, really doesn’t want to be here but he’s feeling slightly pressured. Not to mention Tarrent’s done a lot for Peter, he’s pulled a lot of cards for him. He’s helped him get into the library after hours, and he even let Peter use his car for a date. 

Peter sighs, “Just one round?” 

Tarrent waves Dalton off and raises his fists and shakes them, “This is gonna be so lit dude, something tells me you’re gonna win us this round.” 

Peter laughs, “I’ve never played.” 

Tarrent punches his shoulder, “Beginners luck, man.” 

Peter watches Tarrent push away a kid on the cups, even in the middle of a game they both stopped just because Tarrent wanted to play. “Rerack ‘em, Charlie. Parker’s gonna kick ass.” 

Tarrent explains the game to Peter quickly, “You shoot a ball and I do, you wanna get them in the cup. You get it in the cup, they drink it and remove it from the triangle. If we both get one in then we get balls back and can reshoot, if we land it in the same cup then they take an extra cup off. You can’t have your elbow go over the edge of the table, however you can bounce the ball and if it lands they’ll take an extra cup, but they can also swat it off the table. If they land a cup and the ball swirls around the cup you can ‘finger it out’, basically how you do your chick, last rule is a redemption, if we win they get an extra shot. If they miss, they lose, if they hit it, our win is canceled out but the game isn’t over.” 

Peter nods slowly, “So I just make it in the cup?” 

Tarrent smiles, “Exactly, Parker.” 

Charlie finishes the rerack, both sides have ten, red plastic cups lined up in a triangle. He looks up to see his opponents, Tom and Terry, twins in Tarrent’s frat. Tarrent holds out his hands, a fist in one palm, Tom copies his move and they start slamming their fists down. “Rock, paper, scissors. Let’s fuckin go, Parker! Watch me.” Tarrent cheers when he wins the game, picking up the white ball he blows on it for good luck and shoots it, it hits in the middle and bounces around the rim before falling off. 

“Fuck! You got this, Parker. Win it for your lady!” Tarrent slaps Peter’s chest, the force knocking him off balance for a second.

Peter can’t think of one thing you’d be less impressed with. 

Tarrent is a good guy, dumb and sexist and misogynistic but a good guy. He didn’t realize what he was saying was wrong and usually when Peter gently corrected him he took note immediately and changed his language. 

Peter decides he’ll give the win to Tarrent. He can easily win this game, no matter how good his opponents are, they don’t have Spidey skills. 

He clears his throat and picks up a ball, he focuses on the first one and shoots. It’s a perfect shot. 

Tarrent jumps up and howls, “That’s my fuckin guy! Fuck you Tom! Fuck you Terry!” 

The game goes back and forth for a minute, Peter choosing to miss some shots to slow the game a little. Otherwise it would be finished in five minutes. Halfway through the pressure gets to Terry, “You can’t hit this, Parker. Just like your girlfriend, you know you always leave her begging for more.” 

Peter blinks and tilts his head, “Is that supposed to be trash talk?” He sails the ball into a cup, Tom slaps his brother's head and chugs the now lukewarm beer. Terry’s words made him think, where were you? Dalton was sent to search almost fifteen minutes ago. 

Dalton comes running up panting, “So I’m looking all around for you man and I gotta be honest, I have no fucking clue what she looks like. I tried asking every girl if Parker was their boyfriend but there’s too many.” 

Peter looks over to Tarrent, he’s heard his pledge and made pleading eyes at Peter. 

“C’mon, man. You can’t bolt now, we’re about to win!” 

He’s right. With a sigh Peter unlocks his phone and shows Dalton your picture. He examines and nods, “Be right back!” Then turns to break into a half jog, he stops to turn a girl around, that looks absolutely nothing like you, before shaking his head and running back into the house. 

He has very little hope. 

They won the game with very little surprise on Peter’s end. He nearly got talked into a second game but he was more desperate to find you so he could get midnight mcdonalds and a cuddle. “You sure you can’t do one more?” Peter winces, “Sorry, dude. I gotta find Y/N, she’s probably pissed by now.” Tarrent nods gulping down a beer, “I know how chicks are, I’ll see you Tuesday, Parker.” 

Peter smiled and nods his head, “Good game, man. Glad I could get you that win.” 

Tarrent gives him a grin back, he’s a little sloshed for sure. He hooks an arm around Peter’s neck, his beer splashed on his sweater on the shoulder. “You know, I really do consider you a good friend, Parker. You’re a good guy.” Peter taps his arm, “Thanks, man. You too.” 

Tarrent shoves him away and slaps his ass, “Go find your chick, I’m sure she’s missing you.” 

Peter now realizes why it’s taken Dalton so long to find you, he’s not looking. 

He estimates Dalton made it three steps in when he spotted a wasted blonde and was busy chatting her up, he made eye contact with Peter and his eyes widened, “Listen man, I’m sorry, okay? I just saw the prettiest girl in my life and I had to talk with her. Also can you please not tell Tarrent? He’ll knock me back four points and Franklin can’t beat me, I have a thousand bucks I don’t have on pledging.” 

Peter watches the girl swing her head back and hit the wall, she giggles and sips her drink. He just points at her and looks at Dalton, “She’s wasted. Get her a water and get her home safely. I promise she’ll call you, do the right thing.” Dalton grins and shows Peter his phone, an Uber already ordered. “Like Tarrent says, rule three of Alpha Beta Delta, W.W.P.D. What would Parker Do?” 

“Tarrent has a rule dedicated to me?” 

“Dude he has a whole fucking powerpoint on it.” 

Peter nods his head impressed, turns out he can make an impact outside of the suit. 

He pulls out his phone to check the time and sees two missed calls and seven texts, each one getting progressively sadder when you ask where he was. Peter looks up at Dalton and motions to his phone, he understands and waves him off. Peter’s quick to send you a text. 

‘I’m here, where are you?’

You read it, your chat bubble appears, then disappears, and then sends nothing. 

Peter doesn’t know if you’re in trouble or just mad he was an hour late to get you and ghosted you. 

‘baby please tell me where you are, i want to go home.’

You have the same pattern, then a text appears. 

‘So did I. An hour ago.’

Peter groans, no one could ever prepare him for a not only drunk, but a pissed off, drunk girlfriend. 

‘:(‘ 

He tries to think of where you might’ve gone. Peter checks the upstairs bathrooms first, then Tarrents room. When he comes up empty he tries outside, both the front and back. Nothing, he’s worried you might’ve left him as a punishment. When he circled the living room for the third time he was hopeless and texted you with no response, he was about to scream until he saw Lindzey. He nearly bolted to her, “Where’s my girlfriend?” 

She narrowed her eyes then smiled when she recognized him, “The basement. She’s pretty gone, she said Jarred was giving her the creeps so I came to get her some water.” 

“Where is she now?” 

Lindzey looks at him funny, “The basement?” 

“You left my girlfriend, your friend, alone in a basement with a guy that was giving her the creeps while she’s inebriated?” Peter decided he would never trust her around you again. 

She tried to speak but Peter held up a hand and passed by her, quick to get down the stairs, he didn’t even know there was a basement. He was able to breathe easier when he saw you sitting in a chair in the corner swirling a straw in your cup, your feet tapping to the beat of the song. 

You looked drop dead gorgeous. 

Peter approached you, you didn’t look up at him. You sucked on your straw and chewed at the end, he smiled down on you. 

“Hey, trouble.” 

In a swift movement you moved to hit the side of your shoe against his, “Out.” You spoke around your straw and kept staring at a poster on the wall. “Huh?” Peter was confused, did you want him out of the room, or the house? 

You sighed and kicked again, “I said out!” 

Peter couldn’t help but laugh, you were trashed. “Out of where, baby?” 

You ripped the straw from your mouth, the ice danced in the cup, at last you snapped your head to look at his face “Listen here, prick.” Your voice was venom, Peter’s eyes widened, he looked around for a second and shuffled closer. In turn you threw yourself back in your chair, “Out means out. Out of my way, out of my space, out of my fucking life.” 

You’ve never been this harsh before, he didn’t realize you were this pissed. 

He sighs, “Trouble, I’m sorry I-” 

You cut him off quickly, “Don’t call me that, ever. My boyfriend calls me that, that’s his word for me. Not yours.” 

He can’t help but grin in relief, you didn’t know it was him. 

“I don’t see a boyfriend.” 

You scoff, “Yeah well if you don’t see a bear shit in the woods doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. He’s on his way, he’s picking me up.” 

“How about I take you home sweetheart?” 

As serious as you could muster at the moment. You looked dead in his eyes and threatened him, “My boyfriend is gonna beat the absolute shit out of you.” Peter raised his eyebrows, “Oh is he now?” You nod fiercely, “If I ask, he’s so whipped for me he would do anything I want.” 

Peter’s offended. He knows it’s true, but damn. 

“He’s whipped but left you here alone?” 

You nearly clawed his eyes out, “I have no fucking idea why you’re acting like you know anything about him. He’s my boyfriend and he’s picking me up, and I promise you don’t want to be here when he does.” 

Peter feels a sense of pride that you’re dropping his name, he made you feel so safe and comfortable that you knew he would drop kick anyone you deemed deserving. 

“Okay, sweetheart. Want me to bring you to your boyfriend?” 

You scoff and sip your drink, “I don’t think he would want me to leave my spot.” 

He wants to give you an atta girl, he’s trained you well enough that when you’re drinking and waiting on him you hunker down until he finds you. He will be looking forever if you’re constantly moving around. 

“What if I told you I was told to come get you?” 

You look him over with shifty eyes, you don’t trust this man. 

“What’s his name then?”

He ignores your question and reaches for the cup you're drinking from, he thinks it’s time you stop. You slap his hand, hard, “Don’t, ever, touch something I’m drinking, okay? Mommy never taught you to keep your hands to yourself, huh?” 

Peter rubs at his red hand, “I-“ 

You dryly laugh in his face, “How fucking entitled to you think you are? I mean really, not to mention you have no fucking clue how to read a room. I’m not interested, you dolt, I have a boyfriend that is gonna come grab me at any second.” 

Peter squats so he’s more eye level. He notices the issue, you couldn’t see him. He was backed against the wall and it was shadowed, the second he bent down the window lit up his face. 

“Hey, trouble. I am your boyfriend, wanna get home?” 

Your eyes lit up with recognition, the moment you saw who you were berating your lower lip trembles. Fat tears pooling in your eyes had Peter panicking, did you still not understand who he was? Has he scared you? 

“You’re okay, baby. It’s just me.” He smiles to be non threatening, it doesn’t work. You blink and tears fall, Peter frowns and reaches forward to cup your face, you shrink back further into the seat. The drink clutched to your chest spilled out over your shirt, you ignored it and looked at Peter, shaking your bottom lip at him to hold off sobs.

Peter starts to look around, before placing a palm on your chest trying to sop up the extra liquid into his sweater. You shove his hand back quickly, then raise your knees to hide your chest, wrapping your hands around your legs and cry into your knees. 

He’s at a loss for words, he really doesn’t know what’s going on. Are you truly lost and think he’s taking advantage of you? It seemed like you recognized him the second you saw his face. He puts his hand on a knee, you move your leg so his hand falls off, he’s lost. 

Peter thinks he needs to find Lindzey, he doesn’t like the idea of leaving you here alone upset, but he can’t seem to figure you out. If you can see your friend and have her willingly say that you are safe and this is your boyfriend then everything should be fine, right? 

You have your face hidden from him, he had taken your cup away when it landed all over your front. Peter rests the plastic on the ground, the remnants of ice click. With a sigh he stands, he turns to look up the stairs hoping Lindzey would be coming down any second, if he has a guess though, she’s in Tarrents room watching the ceiling fan. 

Peter takes one step and you grab his wrist tightly. 

“You’re not leaving me right?” 

“Hey!” He gives you a warm smile, like the kind of greeting you get from coming out of your room after a few hours. “What’s got you crying?” 

You repeat your words, “You’re not leaving me, right?” You emphasize the right, because you don’t think Peter would do that but you’re not too sure the way you’ve been talking to him. 

“I was gonna find Lindzey, are you-“ 

You jump up instantly using the hand you have on Peter for stability. You’re so close to Peter you almost step on his toes, he’s quick to back up. You take in his movements and start to cry, you shake your head quickly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t leave me. I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again, I promise. Don’t break up with me, don’t leave me.” 

Peter’s face scrunches in confusion, you take it as rejection. You cry harder, you sob so hard people are starting to turn and look. “Hey, c’mere.” He wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you out of the basement but you stick your feet to the ground and shake your head violently. “No! Don’t do this, Peter. I’m sorry! Please don’t!” 

He really wants to get you the fuck out of here. It’s dark, cold, loud and crowded. You’re also a nervous wreck that’s not only sobbing but also screaming at him stuck to his side but refusing him to touch you back. You’re also making it sound like he’s about to take you out back and teach you a lesson, he’s trying to think of the nicest way possible to get you to shut the fuck up. 

You sniffle and take a deep inhale, then pout at Peter who takes your silence as an opportunity and leans in to talk directly in your ear. 

“Calm down, Y/N. Follow me, understand?” 

You nod but when he tries to move you stay attached to the ground again, “I said I was sorry, I didn’t mean to, I promise.” 

Peter can’t think of a time you’ve been more hammered. 

He needs to get you out of here, he tries one last time before he’d be forced to throw you over his shoulder. Peter leans to talk into your ear once more, not mean but stern. “I’m not mad, but I will be if you don’t follow me.” You wipe away any extra tears that had fallen before nodding slowly, you’re trying to not make him mad. He doesn’t know why you think he’s so upset at you. 

Peter tries to grab your hand but you cross your arms and sniffle as you follow him up the stairs, he keeps turning every few seconds to make sure you’re still with him. He knows the second he’s able to get you away from the house you’d be able to explain why you were so upset. He’s just so tired and is more than ready to get home so he could sleep next to you, and he’s been so patient with you so far. 

It’s rare you make him aggravated. So when you bolt from behind him to hide behind Tarrent he has to take a few deep breaths before he follows you. He doesn’t know why you’re scared of him, he doesn’t know why you were crying, he doesn’t know why you want to hide behind Tarrent. He does know he wants to get the fuck out of here. Peter takes a second for his annoyance to leave, he’s half tempted to pull your arm like a toddler out the door. Kicking and screaming and all. 

When Peter finally walks over he’s blocked by Tarrent’s hand. 

“What’s going on, Parker?” His tone is accusatory, his side chosen with the teary eyed sniffling girl. 

Peter sighs, “Honestly, no fucking clue.” When he looked over at you, you immediately threw your head down to look at your shoes. He leaned in a little closer to Tarrent to speak softly, trying not to set you off again,  “I tried to get her to leave but she started crying and freaking out.” 

“She doesn’t want to leave with you.” 

Peter blinked. Tarrent was supposed to be his friend, why was he taking your side out of nowhere. 

“She had me spooked too. I promise everything is okay.” He smiled and went to move around Tarrent to grab his girlfriend, this time Tarrent was more aggressive. “She said she doesn’t want to leave with you, Parker. I won’t make a lady do anything they don’t want.” 

Peter is so ready to say fuck it to everything.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay, great. Are you going to be getting my girlfriend home safely or will one of your pledges that can barely tie their own shoes be instructed to do so?” Tarrent’s face hardens, “Why don’t you go take a walk, Parker?” 

He throws his hands in the air, “Awesome.” He points to Tarrent, “You can take care of it from here.” Then Peter stands near you, you still haven’t said a word or moved an inch. “Have a goodnight, Y/N. I’ll talk to you whenever.” 

Finally you speak, it’s a worried tone. 

“You’re leaving?” 

Peter can’t help himself, he gives a laugh, like he’s the crazy one. Exasperated, he looks at you, “Yeah, baby, I am.” You look him up and down, “Why?” He takes a second to look around the room, he’s expecting cameras to come out. 

He doesn’t want to fight but his tone said otherwise. 

“Because, Y/N. You called me here to pick you up, then you were mad I was late. Then you wouldn’t tell me where you were because you thought a game of hide and seek would be cute, then when I found you, you started crying and screaming at me. Now you’re hiding behind my friend and he’s telling me you want me to leave. You want me to leave but you want me to stay, which is it?” 

Tarrent looks like he’s ready to break up the fight at any second. 

You go back to blinking at your shoes, he nods his head with a mumbled ‘fucking awesome’ and started to walk away. Your quivered voice made him stop, you were panicked and upset. He didn’t get why until now. 

“So you’re breaking up with me?” 

Tarrent looks at him like ‘well, are you?’

Peter can’t stop himself, the confusion spills out. 

“Huh?” 

“You’re breaking up with me?” 

When he walks closer Tarrent spreads out slowly, he’s trying to let Peter have a chance to talk to you. 

“Baby, why would I break up with you?” 

You look at him and he sees how sad you look, you can’t help the bubbling cry that pulls through. 

“Because I was mean to you.” 

Oh. 

Oh.

You thought he was mad because of what you said to him in the basement. You thought you had fucked it up by hitting and berating him. You thought he was trying to get you out of the house so he could swiftly dump your ass and leave with a nicer, prettier girl. 

“Oh shit.” He breathes out the words and in an instant Tarrent knows this isn’t as accurate as you claimed it was, even if you were plastered he was ready to have your side first. And not that he even really knows you, but he considers Parker a good friend and if there was a chance he was about to fuck up and end it with you he had to middleman it. Tarrent knows Parker deserves you. 

He slowly pushed himself away until he was no longer in between you two. Peter appreciated the space and pushed his toes into yours, he was going nowhere. 

“I’m not mad about that! You didn’t know it was me!” 

Peter is so happy this was about nothing. 

You won’t hear it, you’re drunk and extremely apologetic. 

You hiccup, “No, cause I was so fucking mean to you, Petey. I should’ve never said that, I was so so mean. I wasn’t being a good girlfriend.” 

He wants to laugh but he thinks it would upset you more. 

“Baby, really. It’s okay, you didn’t know it was me. I’m not mad at all, I promise.” 

You shake your head, “I was so mean to you though. I called you like, so many bad names.” You gasp when you remember what else you had done, you grab his hand to look at it. Peter tries to pull it away before it causes you to spiral more but you somehow have an iron grip on his wrist. 

“And I hit you! Oh my god, Petey. I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it I swear.” 

Peter places his free hand against your cheek, “I know you didn’t.” You place a soft kiss to the red mark, he knows you feel insanely guilty. 

‘Hey,” He taps your cheek with a finger to get you to look at him. “You trust me, right?” You nod. “Good, now believe me when I say I’m not mad. You stuck up for yourself, trouble. You didn’t see it was me and I realized that, okay?” 

You sniffle. “So you’re not mad at me?” 

He laughs, “No, trouble. I’m not mad at you.” 

You look at his hand and frown, you kiss it again. “And you won’t break up with me?” 

Peter smiles sadly, “Don’t think you can get rid of me that easy, sorry.” 

“Kiss?” 

He looks at you, then the room, “Here?” 

“If you’re not breaking up with me then prove it.” 

Peter wants to tell you he could kiss you then dump you but you wouldn’t get that he was joking and it would collapse everything. 

He follows your wish and pulls you in, he’s not much for outstanding PDA but he thinks you deserve a little more than a peck tonight. You did just gaslight yourself into thinking he was breaking up with you. 

Peter pulled back and watched you grumpily blink your eyes open. 

“Why stop?” 

“Are you asking for another?” 

You nod quickly and look over his shoulder, “Now! Before Casey Shauna sees you and tries to come over.” Before he can say a word you fly up to meet his mouth, it was sloppy and you basically headbutted him with your mouth so his teeth hurt. He gently pushes you away and rubs his upper lip. 

Your eyes widened, “Oh no, I did it again. I hurt you, right?” 

Peter was not about to fall back into this rabbit hole, not when he just found his way out of it. 

“Not at all, trouble. Had some lip gloss, that’s all.” 

You pout and shake your head solemnly, “I’m not wearing lip gloss.” 

“How bout this, I get you home and I’ll give you all the kisses you want. How’s that sound?” 

Like a puppy you’ve forgotten why you were upset, excited you hold on tight to his arm as he guides you through the crowded room until you reach the front door. You ask him how firm he is on the kisses offer, he gives you three the second you exit the house. 

“I also want sex.” 

Peter laughs, “That’s funny, cause I want a mcchicken.” 

You ‘oo’ at him and slap his arm in excited agreement. “I want one too, but with cheese. And maybe some fries. Oh, Peter! I want a super large coke too, they have the best coke!” 

By the time you’ve hit up Mcdonald’s and had Peter’s wallet buy you whatever you wanted, (even when you asked him for another mcchicken and a refill,) you were too tired to do anything but pass out on the couch. 

Peter humphs at you while he watches you snore with the TV playing in the background. 

“The sex to Mcdonalds pipeline never fails.” 

[octuscle]

My biggest dream was to backpacking in europe between the end of high school and the beginning of college. But I didn't do it. In a few days I'll celebrate my 50. birthday and my wife told me she has a special present for me realizing my dream from my youth and getting a young lover for herself when I'm back. Now I've this countdown on my phone from your corporation. What's going on?

You think it's a bit silly when you get on the plane. With hand luggage only. A large rucksack. Nothing else. Otherwise, when you get on the plane, you usually have a suit on and your laptop with you. Today? T-shirt and functional pants. Cell phone with extra powerful power bank. You feel dressed up. And you look really dressed up too.

When you wake up shortly before landing in Paris, you stroke your chin. Shit, you can't have grown that much beard between New York and here… Anyway, now you have to make your way to Gare de Lyon somehow. The TGV to Vezelay leaves in four hours. And from there, the first stage takes you along the Way of St. James to Strasbourg. With your little bit of school French, you'll manage quite well. In the metro, you look at your reflection in the window pane. You are a miserable tourist. An ageing man in ugly functional clothing. But the beard looks pretty cool…

When you finally arrive at Vezelay station, it's late. You are tired. You've booked a hotel room near the station for your first night in Europe. A bit of comfort. By the way, the Chronivac timer has expired. The display shows that the transformation is in progress.

The hotel is relatively elegant. You stand out at breakfast. Yes, you are freshly showered. But you could go to the hairdresser again. And although you've had a fresh shave, you've already got a shadow of a beard again.

Now it's getting serious. You're standing in front of the hotel. The rucksack on your back. You're already hot. And your first stage of the day is 25 kilometers. How much is that in miles? And why are you doing this to yourself…

The day is hell. You're sweating like a pig. Your feet hurt. You have a sunburn. On the one hand you're hungry, on the other you feel like puking. And when you arrive at your stage destination, you realize that you can't get accommodation without a reservation. As you pass a building site, the foreman asks you if you are looking for work. You reply that you need somewhere to sleep. He replies that that is not a problem. If you give him a hand, you will be given dinner and a place to sleep. You don't really feel like doing any more physical work. And you've always been a failure as a handyman. But somehow you know how to mix concrete and pour a foundation. And as you drink a beer in the evening sun at around 7:30 p.m. and talk to the other craftsmen, it feels very normal. One of the carpenters asks you if you're from the north of France. Because of your strange dialect. You look at him questioningly. And say that you're from Buffalo. He asks if that's near Lille. You have obviously arrived in France.

When you wake up the next morning in your bunk in the trailer, it's 05:30. You were expecting a hell of a muscle ache. But you feel like ripping out trees. You wash yourself briefly with ice-cold water in the rain barrel and then continue on your way. You've promised to help out for two more days before you move on.

Your wife mocked you when you said you wanted to take time out to do two months of work and travel in Europe. Sometimes you realize that she is simply much older than you. But shit, so is the French president's wife. And he should be about your age. 45 years old, as far as you know. Just four years older than you… Well, he's got further than you. But you look hotter than him. And the fresh air is obviously doing you good. Your wife is really suggestive when you facetime. You didn't even know she was into phone sex. But it's a nice change. Normally you tend to fuck colleagues on the building sites where you're helping out. It's more of a man's world. Something for real guys. And if you're anything, you're a real guy.

You've been on the road for six weeks when you finally arrive in Strasbourg. Shit, it's expensive here. Prices completely spoiled by tourists and European bureaucrats. Fortunately, you soon find a job here too. Not as a construction worker, though. But as a waiter in a bistro. And you can even sleep above the bistro. On the very first evening, you notice that very few guests spend the whole night here. A constant coming and going. And when you have to go to the toilet across the corridor, a not at all bad-looking guy in a stuffy suit asks you if you'd like to come up to his room for a moment. He slips you 50 euros. A hell of a lot of money for a blowjob or something. Should you feel cheap or like a hooker? Who are you kidding? Back home on the other side of the pond, you're the toyboy of an ancient lady. She's already 50 years old.

Strasbourg was awesome. But you only have three more weeks before you have to go back. The new semester at university starts. And your GILF is waiting for you back. She told you yesterday how much she misses you. You went out of your way to make her squeal with ecstasy at the end of the phone call. The PayPal payment arrived immediately. Together with the money you earned as a hustler and waiter in Strasbourg, you can now enjoy your last days to the full. You love the wind on your nipples. Maybe a hot trucker or something will pick you up as a hitchhiker. Tonight you should be in a place called Karlsruhe. Then it's not far to Frankfurt. And from there it's back to Buffalo. Someone there is eagerly awaiting her young lover.

[cherrycola27]

Red, White, and Rooster

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Frenemies to lovers, relationship of convenience. Political situations. Allegations of affairs, military and political inaccuracies. Eventual smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Series Master List Next Part

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Prologue: The Great Debate

Anxiety thrums through your body as you fidget with the knot of his tie. The intrusive thoughts are creeping in, but on the outside, you remain cool, calm, and collected.

"Please tell me why I have to wear a purple tie again?" He asks you with a huff.

You roll your eyes as you begin the same speech you have before every other debate. "Democrats wear blue, Republicans red, you're an Independent, so—"

"You wear purple to show that you're the perfect mix of both," He groans as he finishes your sentence.

You look up to him with hard eyes. You don't miss the flash of a genuine smile across his face before some television assistant comes to remind you that you have five minutes until he needs to be in place.

"Alright. This is the last debate before voting begins. By some miracle of God and my amazing campaign managing, you're ahead in the polls. Don't fuck this up for me." You tell him as you smooth out the arms of his suit.

"Don't fuck it up for you? I'm the one who is going to be in the Oval Office dear." He smirks at you.

"And I'm the one who is getting you there, and who is going to your Chief of Staff,— dear. So, like I said, don't fuck this up for me." You smirk back.

One more debate, you thought. You had to get him through one more debate and a few last-minute campaign stops, and then all your hard work would pay off.

If everything went according to plan, Lieutenant Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw would be the 47th president of the United States, and you, Y/N Wiseman, would be the youngest Chief of Staff to ever serve at just twenty-nine years old.

"Roos, Wise-woman, yall about ready?" His running mate, Lieutenant Jake 'Hangman' Seresin called out. "Or are you two still fighting over a tie?"

"We're good, Jake," you reply as you step back to admire your handy work. You've done a good job.

Bradley is in a dark grey suit with a deep plum colored tie. His silver watch is smart, but not flashy. His dark brown shoes offer a nice contrast to the suit without clashing. His sandy brown locks are styled to appear neat but casual. His mustache is trimmed to give him an edge of maturity.

It was something that most men his age didn't need, but being thirty-five and running for president, it was necessary for him. If elected, he would be the youngest to ever serve.

No, not if. When he is elected, he will be the youngest to ever serve.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." You clap your hands. Bradley and Jake follow you out of the room. Bradley is directed to his mark while you and Jake find your seats.

You hear the welcoming music as the moderator steps on stage and beings speaking to the cameras. Applause and cheers cry out as the candidates step up to their podiums.

You take a deep breath. This is it. These next two hours are going to make or break over a years worth of work.

If someone had told you a year ago that the two former Navy pilots turned politicians, you met in a D.C. bar who hired you because of a bet were weeks away from winning the White House because of you, you would have laughed in their face.

But one game of pool, several beers, tears, and sleepless nights later, it was happening. It was so close, you could almost taste it.

.........................

"Oh my God you fucking killed it out there man!" Jake smacks Bradley on the back as soon as the three if you make it back stage from the debate.

Jake was right. Bradley did kill it out there. Your phone is already blowing up with Google Alerts from various media posts declaring him the winner of the debate.

His stances on education, heathcare, immigration, and the military blew his competition out of the water.

Frankly, he didn't have any competition because the other two candidates could only seem to focus on how young he was or his military background. Neither of them spoke much on their policies. Instead, they chose to try and poke at Bradley's past. However, that proved to be fatal for them.

America had rallied around Bradley's tragic childhood of losing his father at two, then being raised by a single mother, who died when he was barely nineteen. Bradley hadn't wanted to play the orphan card, and you really tried not to, but when he was lacking the polls, early in the campaign, you did what you had to do. He was mad at you for weeks but changed his tune when he saw the numbers.

One candidate, Reece Johnson, had tried to frame Bradley and Jake as monsters and killers since they were former military. You quickly rewrote the narrative, painting them as heros who received the medal of honor during their last flight mission. Bradley for risking his life while saving his captain and late father's best friend, and Jake for saving them both.

Every time someone tried to tear them down, you would swoop in and save them. All the while, running a clean campaign for them.

You were broken out of your thoughts by Bradley calling your name.

"Y/N. Hello. Earth to Y/N Wiseman." He waves his hand in front of your face.

"What?" You ask him. "How did I do?" He asks you. You can tell that he values your opinion. No matter how much he gets on your nerves or how much he grumbles. He needs to hear what you have to say.

"You didn't fuck it up for us." You tell him. A smile breaks out across his face. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me Wise-woman." He grins.

"Don't get used to it." You shoot back. "Alright, we need to head back to the hotel. We have an early flight to North Carolina tomorrow, and then a few more stops on the East Coast before we head to the Southwest." You remind him and Jake.

They nod their head and grab their belongings.

"I'm going to head to the parking garage and put my things in the SUV. Chapman, Davis, please make sure Mr. Bradshaw and Mr. Seresin make it down safely. Could you also alert Taylor to be waiting for us at the car?" You ask the secret service agents assigned to you three.

"Yes, Ma'am. Would you like an escort?" Davis ask you.

"No, I'll be fine. No one goes after the campaign manager." You joke before waving him off.

......................

You'd just gotten to the parking garage to put your things in when Taylor, your driver, informed you that he'd left his coat upstairs. You assured him you would be fine as he went to retrieve it.

You'd just finished putting your things in the trunk when you heard someone call out your name.

"Y/N!" A voice shouted. You turned around just in time to see a masked person standing a few feet away from you, with the barrel of a gun pointed directly at you.

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn't know what to do. You were frozen.

"Y/N! You bitch! You cost me everything!" They screamed at you. You heard them draw back the hammer of the revolver before they took their aim.

"GUN!" You head someone shout.

It all happened in slow motion. You couldn't fully process what was happening until it was all over.

You heard the deafening bang of a gunshot.

You felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you and pull you into them and down on the ground to safety while two men in black suits charged at the figure.

You watched with blank eyes as they tackled the person to the ground and wrestled the smoking weapon out of their hands.

Your ears were ringing, but you were vaguely aware of someone calling your name.

"Y/N! Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Bradley shook you.

Suddenly, you realized he was the one holding you.

"I—I'm alright." You stutter out just as you hear the click of cameras followed blare of police sirens.

"You—you saved me." You stutter, fully trying to process the situation. More cameras clicked as the press was making their way out of the venue and witnessing what happened.

Suddenly, it hit you. You had been shot at. Bradley and broken away from his security to save you. He had ignored protocol to protect you. He'd put his life on the line for you.

By now, the media and police were swarming around the two of you. Snapping picture after picture of the two of you while asking question after question. You knew those photos would be on every major news outlet, and the story of his heroism would go viral within hours.

As he helped you up, two things crossed your mind.

One, you were thankful to be alive.

Two, you'd just won the White House.

Eeeekkkk! Babes! I hope you enjoyed this first part! I'm excited to here your feedback!

Tag List:

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[sirthisisa-wendys]

Oh shit! Your requests are open! I’d love an enemies to lovers fic with either Omi or Taiju. Y/n eventually has one of them wrapped around her little finger.😈

Thank you🥺💕

Omi has his own Enemies to lovers SERIES, so Taiju gets this one!

Secret Hideout: Taiju Shiba x Fem!Reader

wc: 1k

tw: smut, College AU

masterlist

No one really gets the relationship between you and Taiju Shiba. No one knows when or why you two started to hate each other. There are too many instances of you harassing each other in the dorm room lobby, the library, the bars...

No one gets it except the two of you.

"Come on," Taiju drawls, holding a beer can in one hand and pointing to you with the other. "You play pool like a girl." You squint your eyes at him, imagining the pool stick in your hand flying through his head and sticking in the opposite wall.

But you don't fulfill your violent fantasy. You just lean over the table and hit the cue ball with precision, sinking two balls in one go. When you glance up to see if your rival looked any more irritated than before, you catch him leering at your backside, a thought - just one single thought - plain for all to see.

Except there's no one else at the seedy bar except five regulars - including the two of you - and a bartender who is eyeing the hockey game with interest. No one in the bar is paying attention to what's going on in your corner. (This is part of the reason you chose it in the first place, but that's beside the point.)

"You're up," you quip, smirking. Taiju brushes past you carefully, but not without allowing his fingers to grab your ass under the flimsy skirt you're wearing. "Shiba," you warn, but Taiju is already leaning over the pool table with an eye on the prize.

"Loser has to do whatever the other person tells them for a week."

"Rules haven't changed," you reply, taking Taiju's beer can and sipping it. You grimace - he always chooses the piss-tasting beer - but Taiju doesn't seem to mind. He's too focused on the ball that's rolling toward a side pocket. When it sinks into the hole, Taiju nods and bites his lower lip.

"Two points away from getting the dishes done for a week."

You scoff, roaming around the table to look at the options. You don't have many, but that doesn't stop you from aiming your best.

Except...

Well...

Your best isn't enough.

And you're standing in the frat house up your elbows in dishes. "I fucking hate you," you growl at Taiju, who is lying on the couch and scrolling through the television offerings. "Did you hear me?"

"Heard every word," Taiju mutters, uninterested.

"You could at least let me watch an interesting channel!" Taiju doesn't reply, and you scrub at a plate that seems to have held some kind of slop before it landed in the dish pile. "Gross..."

Various other members of the fraternity have either cleared out of the house or are observing from a safe distance, trying not to get caught in between you and Taju's spats. But as soon as your nose gets a whiff of spoiled milk, you take a step back and raise your sudsy hands.

"Okay, fuck this; I'm out."

"Huh?" Taiju's head pops up from the couch, and he quirks his brow, watching you back away from the kitchen sink.

"You keep a fucking pig sty in this house. How are you supposed to call yourself frat president if this entire place is a damn trash heap?"

"You're complaining about dishes?" Taiju wonders, sitting up and chuckling. "And here I thought women like doing the dishes."

"You're a fucking misogynist," you shout, pointing a wet finger at the bulky man. "Always making me do housework when I lose!"

"Don't blame me because I'm better at doling out the losing punishments."

"I can give good punishments, too!"

"Like doing your homework?" Taiju guffaws, clutching his stomach. "You forget I've already taken all of the classes you've taken since I'm a year ahead." Your rage begins to boil over, and as you sputter for a response, Taiju laughs even harder. "You should see yourself when you get mad. You look like you're about to burst a blood vessel!"

Suddenly, you launch yourself at him, clawing at his frame while you curse at him long and hard.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Taiju shouts, grabbing your wrists and pinning you underneath him on the couch. "The next move you make might be your last." You know he's not kidding because his voice is deep, and he's giving you a glare that tells you you're pushing the envelope.

Instead of relenting, you knee him in the groin, and he groans loudly and painfully. You escape his clutches and dash for the door, but somehow, your finger won't help you escape. You fumble with the lock, trying to get out of the frat house as Taiju recovers surprisingly quickly.

"Nuts of steel," you whisper to yourself, just as the door opens--

And shuts.

"God, you test my patience like no one else. You know that, babe?" Without warning. Taiju tosses you over his shoulder, and you holler out for help from someone - anyone - as he carries you up the stairs. "Rules are rules," Taiju announces as Inupi pokes his head out of his dorm. "You might want to put on some music, Inui," Taiju advises, walking toward his room with purpose. "Or go for a walk. Either one."

You're tossed onto Taiju's impossibly large bed, and while Taiju locks the door, you cross your arms over your chest and pout.

"You can't do this to me."

"Rules are rules," Taiju mutters, taking off his shirt and tossing it aside. "On your stomach."

You obey, ignoring your desire to rebel for a second. Taiju flips your skirt up and reveals your perfect round ass, which he palms greedily while groaning low in his throat. When he lifts his hand, you know what's coming.

Smack.

"Count."

"One," you announce, the word muffled by the bedsheets.

Smack.

"Two."

"Louder."

Smack.

"Three."

Smack.

"Four!" Taiju rubs his hands over your reddened flesh, appreciating the view for a moment before raising his hand again. This time, you get smacked on both ass cheeks. Each one counts as a single smack, so you count, "Five. Six."

"You've been a bad girl."

Smack! Smack!

"Seven... eight."

"You'll apologize to Daddy, won't you?"

Smack!

"Nine."

"Won't you?"

Smack!

"T-ten..."

"Won't you, baby? Or will I have to fuck it out of you?”

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 . starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i didn't see that [ name ] is holding his junk until after i sent the pic

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just ate some fig newtons , the extra long ones

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck yeah , go give that beer your dick !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] maybe he'll let you down quicker if you give him an open mouth kiss

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you'll want to keep the gondola operator alive but everyone else is dispensable

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we have parked our lard asses under displays for souvenirs and we are both NOT MOVING .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] no more mountains you've lost your mountain privileges

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we still have our sense of humor , but [ name ] may lose theirs at any moment .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we are safe . we think . no need to worry . i don't think .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] it's funny now , but i can feel myself getting a bit cranky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm really sick with icantgotowork disease 🦠 it's rough

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] have you guys gotten diarrhea yet ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i hear [ name's ] ex is writing a diss track

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay getting food bird pooped on me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i just ate a cake that said 'happy birthday baby jesus'

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] the autism is strong today

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] there will be no butt cakes and please take me off this thread

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'll start growing my pubes !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is making us celebrate president's day with a cake

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] my favorite thing is explaining slang that mom will absolutely hate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] their old dog looked like a cigarette

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah it's really hard being really good looking all the time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm about to be that asshole that brings their leftovers on a plane

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to focus on one weird thing a day or i'll die

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] congrats bunghole i'm proud of you 🥰

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just so you know : penis .

[burnforyou]

FRAT PARTY - LUIGI MANGIONE x READER

!SUMMARY! frat president!Luigi x uptight!nerdy!reader. pure fluff! a lazy short one for my fluff enjoyers.

!WARNINGS! none really, just alcohol.

his eyes scanned the party carefully, until he saw you. he stopped in his tracks, immediately doing a double take.

i didn't know she attended parties. especially frat parties. she should be in her bed at this hour, curled up with a good book, not here, at this disgusting party full of drunk fucks who are just trying to get their dicks wet.

luigi plops down on the couch next to you, resting his arm on the cushion behind you.

"didn't expect to see you here," he flashes his bright smile at you.

"I'm here for my friend," she says, gesturing to another girl in the crowd.

"she doesn't seem to be appreciating the fact that you're here," he looks down at you, taking in your outfit. It's not what you usually wear, its different. its not you. you look uncomfortably uptight in a short, tight skirt and tank.

"well, shes my friend, and she's drunk, so she's not in her right mind," you try defending her.

"hey Luigi, someone's fighting!" some random frat brother yells at him.

"fuck," he sighs, rubbing his forehead. "I'll be back," he pats your thigh, "stay right here, alright?"

you nod and watch him stride away to handle the situation.

another body sits down on the couch next to you and you look up from your phone smiling, expecting Luigi. instead, you're met with the face of one of his frat brothers.

"you look too sober," he says to you, holding out his red solo cup to you. "take a sip."

you look between him and the cup, unsure.

"it won't kill you. I'm Jake by the way."

fuck it, you think, grabbing the cup and taking a big swig of the mysterious drink. it actually tasted pretty good, but burned a little going down your throat.

"y/n," you say after swallowing.

"pretty name for a pretty girl," he smiled at you. "so, what brings you here tonight?" he flirts, taking another sip of the drink you're now sharing.

"oh, I don't know, just wanted to have a fun time," you lie, smirking at him.

"hey, you wanna come with me to get a refill?" he smiles, showing you the bottom of the cup.

"sure!" you spring up. his hand settles in the small of your back and guides you to the kitchen where he mixes one bottle with another and hands the cup back to you.

"try it," he yells over the music. you take a sip and nod.

"pretty good," you take another sip.

luigi takes a swig of a beer, his first drink of the night, watching you two flirt from afar. It's so fake, and nothing like you. he knows you, he knows you're not like that.

before you knew it, he's pumping you full of a mysterious, semi-pleasant tasting drink and singing "I Can't Feel My Face" by The Weeknd in your face, literally.

he was actually kinda cute, but he wasn't your type, per say.

and whats your type? you ask?

oh, just tall, smart, Italian guys with curly hair who kinda look like Luigi Mangione, but aren't him!

not to say Jake wasn't smart, I mean, he goes to UPenn for gods sake. it's just, he's just...

he's not Luigi. he's not your biggest rival in the engineering program, the man who never fails to piss you off and turn you on at the same time.

but he's a good distraction, that's for sure.

speak of the devil: he's standing in front of you now.

but he's not paying attention to you: he's yelling at Jack. or was it Jake?

“you leave her alone, go find someone else to mess with,” he growls in his face, pushing him away.

“or what, luigi? she’s not your girlfriend.” he holds his hands up, faking innocence.

“or i’ll fucking kill you,” he growls lowly so only jake could hear him, afraid of scaring you. he watches jake stalk away and looks back to you, his face softening when he sees you looking up at him.

"what are you doing?" he talks down to you, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you slightly. you blink up at him in shock.

"what do you mean?" you say stubbornly, your skin burning where he's holding you.

"you're not being yourself," he argues with you.

"you don't even know me!" you shout at him, running away (or trying to, in your drunken state) to go dance.

you join some random girls and dance drunkenly with them, having the time of your life. your first time drunk. you had no idea it was this fun. if you knew how much fun you'd be having, you'd be attending frat parties weekly.

you keep Luigi in the back of your mind as you grind on a random guy that joined you.

"give me that," he growls at a random brother, grabbing a beer bottle from him and chugging it down. he leans against a wall and watches you, never taking his eyes off of you.

when "Come Get Her" by Rae Sremmurd starts playing, a random girl pulls you onto a table with her.

somebody come get her, she's dancing like a stripper

hoots and hollers come from around you as you and another girl literally dance like strippers. it felt like something straight out of a movie: the nerdy girl turns hot and starts dancing on tables. the world around you starts to spin.

and then you're falling.

falling hard from the table, the ground looking so appealing, much nicer than the table.

until warm, familiar hands catch you.

"alright, that's it, you're done." Luigi says to you, effortlessly carrying you bridal style. you stroke his face and smile.

"you caught me, my prince charming!" you cheer, wrapping your hands around his neck, the rest of the party becoming purely background noise.

"you're so handsome," you giggle drunkenly, holding his face in one of your hands. he pretends to not be basking in your attention.

"I'm taking you up to my room. you're cut off for the night." he says roughly, carrying you up the stairs. the music and voices fade away.

"whyyyy," you whine, "I wanna par-tay!"

"you're done for the night, hun." he bends down to open the door without dropping you. he softly drops you on his bed and stands over you.

"you think you're funny, don't you?" you cross your arms across your chest, pushing your tits together purposefully.

"what?" he furrows his eyebrows, his eyes flickering down and up again.

"will you just leave me alone? you're ruining my night!" you try and walk away again, but he grabs onto your arm and pulls you flush against him. you hold intense eye contact for a second and take in his features. his beauty distracts you from your argument.

you break away and sit down on the edge of his bed, looking around his bedroom.

"y/n, you're going to regret acting like this in the morning, if you even remember this in the morning!" he accidentally shouts.

hes being so mean to me, you thought. why is he being so mean to me?

suddenly, your mood swings and tears fill your bambi eyes. you look up at him, your bottom lip quivering.

"hey, what's wrong?" he sits down on the edge of the bed next to you and holds your soft face in his hand, his eyes full of concern.

"why are you doing this to me?" a tear falls from your eyes and he wipes it away immediately, wanting to throw up.

you're crying and it's all his fault. fuck, he's the worst person in the world.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just- I..." he trails off. you look back up at him, sniffling.

"I just want to protect you. people do bad things to smart, pretty girls like you."

"why do you want to protect me? why me? there's a million other girls out there, why are you doing this to me?" you ask through your sobs.

"because I really like you, okay? I like you more than any other girls." he pulls you into his chest and kisses the top of your head. he rubs your back, attempting to comfort you.

"you like like me?" you ask against his hard chest. his chest rises and falls as he chuckles.

"yes, y/n, I like like you."

your heart skips a beat at his confession.

"that's good, cause I think I like like you too." you yawn and wipe your last tears.

"are you tired?" he asks softly, looking down at you in his arms, struggling to believe this is real. you nod.

"you can sleep here, I'll get you a change of clothes."

you settle back onto his king bed, making yourself comfortable on his pillows. he throws a t shirt and boxers on you, turning around. you weakly discard your outfit, consisting of your friends clothes, and slip his oversized tee on.

"I'm done," you say quietly, he turns around. he looks at you, snuggled in his bed, and sighs.

you pat the cold bed beside you.

"lay with me."

he pulls his shirt and shorts off shamelessly in front of you. your tired eyes take in the shape of his strong body. he slips under the covers next to you and pulls you by your waist into his chest.

MASTERLIST - PREV WORK

is this too cliche be honest

!TAGS!

@strawbrriess @bellobambino @f4nfic-lover @btcowboy @chmpgneprblem @soggysouppp @hereandqueer6540 @poohkie90 @bricapallen16 @miarosalie11 @v1rtualsalvat10n @hypnotizedbyhood @webanglikethat @croucify @cumdnmp @ga33y3 @zeervzn @marzipanlvr @seesaw-it @raekensluver @ddlydevotion @hujirose @darleneslane

requested by @for-lovers-always

[writerobscura]

The USA

Sorry for the radio silence; I'm still processing how 51% of my country thinks it's okay to elect a bigoted, misogynistic felon to the presidency.

This election is a reminder that half of this country is so fucking hateful that they're willing to elect someone that makes us a laughing stock around the globe while those who bought and paid for his campaign gut democracy.

Are you doing better than you were four years ago? Of course not. You were getting subsidy checks Biden pushed through a Republican congress post-pandemic.

Wages went up for essential workers, and that expense got passed on to you because corporations aren't going to short to their shareholders - and the President can do nothing about that without holding companies accountable to regulation - which our new president has no intention of doing.

The next two years:

My adult children will lose their healthcare when he and his Republican senate quash the Affordable Care Act - but hey, so long as you have a few extra bucks at the end of the month for cigs and beer, what do you care?

Some states will be able to seize the medical records of women and mothers and use those records to fine or put them in jail (abortion, IVF, getting your trans teen the care they need) - but hey, none of those things affect you personally, so fuck 'em and hey, women aren't even human, am I right you newly registered voting Gen Z fellas?

College debt, infrastructure repairs, social programs - kiss all that goodbye because fucking the planet up is a small price to pay so you can get gasoline for under $2.99. Oh, and that Latino spouse? All it takes is one call from a disgruntled 'Murican and our new INS will be there with 'post-citizenship deportation review' papers.

Wars? How easily everyone forgets that Ukraine is at war right now because your guy failed to help him when Russia flooded his country with separatists. You think he's going to stop arming Israel? Where's the money in that?

Xenophobia may have worked when the USA was 100% self-sufficient in the 1900s, but it cannot be done in this day and age - but hey, going back to the old days is what it's all about, right?

Living in a hurricane or natural disaster prone state? You better pray to whatever G*d you worship that nothing happens in the next 2 years because the Pubs have the Senate and the presidency - no more FEMA funds and 'emergency handouts.'

Tariffs instead of taxes on the rich? Zero-sum situation. Guess how many companies import basic things just to make the shit you eat and use daily? Monsanto is no longer an American company, most farmers in the USA 'import' their seed, though because lack of corporate regulation has allowed them to destroy all farms that don't use their seed. While we're on the subject of tariffs, any foreign company can say, "We just won't sell to you, America." What's the backup plan? Oh, right, he has none.

Prices will rise, wages will stagnate, tariffs won't work, so guess who gets billed for that deficit? Not the wealthy—they spent billions electing this assclown, and there's no way they're investing one damned penny in the rest of us.

But hey, they know you can take it because you voted to have all this...You voted for all of the above at the expense of literally half your fellow countrymen.

If Kamala won, you would've lost NOTHING. Your worst case scenario under her presidency is that you would've been running in place financially while those you consider morally or racially beneath you, might've been gotten ahead a few steps.

So yeah, 51% of my country would rather watch it all burn down than suffer anyone they consider less of a human being, be given an equal chance.

[jistagrams]

arrangements

pairing: president! Kang taehyun & prosecutor! reader

genre: arranged marriage

warnings: language , slowburn , suggestive , mentions of sex , death , mentions of other members , if I missed anything let me know !

mdni !!

"but-" u tried to speak but unfortunately u had gotten cut off by your father. "enough y/n. I don't want to hear anymore excuses." he said after taking a sip of whiskey in a glass cup. you slump down into the couch, feeling defeated. "but dad these dates are getting out of hand!"u try to reason with your father, he sighs and turns the TV on. "you have to go get ready, you have a date at 7:30pm." U looked at the clock, 7:00pm , shit.

"are you kang taehyun?" U said to guy who sitting in the corner of the restaurant you both agreed to meet at. (Your father's put this together) he looks at you and smiles slightly. "yes. I am" he says with a slight bow, still sitting down. u take a seat and cross ur legs from the knees down. U take a sip of the tea that was sitting there already. "so, what's your favorite color" he says with a small smile. U can't help but laugh at the random question. "Interesting question to ask on the first date, but it's red." U smile back at him, "I'm not really good at these arranged dates" he says looking down, fixing his suit. "Me either, despite being on so many" u speak softly, trying to take in his natural beauty. He must've saved the country with how beautiful he is. "do you like something u see?" smiles as he slowly leans in, placing his elbows on the table, u cough slightly nodding ur head as in no. "What's wrong with checking people out?"U cock ur head the side. "Nothing at all, but its better to do it discreetly." taehyun said. "so, Kang taehyun. How old are you and what do you do?"U say. Trying ti sound interested but really you just want to get in his pants. "I'm 29 and im the president of a company, what about you ms.y/n?" He said while fixing his hair. "Im 29 and im a prosecutor" u say slowly sliding ur foot up his leg. He takes notice of it and slightly smirks. "You know, red really suits you."he says pushing his hair back. Your foot finally reached his crotch and just as you were gonna touch it you bring ur foot back down. You smile at his comment and him repositioning. "Thank you tae" he smiles at the nickname you have given him. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"he says n u immediately stand up, he stands up as well n takes ur hand leading u out of the restaurant.

2 years later

"who the fuck shredded the contract." he spoke sternly to his employees, sighing while untightening his tie and unbuttoning the first button of his button up. A girl held her head low, not trying to show her face to the president of her job. "we are sorry mr.Kang.." the head of team spoke up for the rest of them , getting on their knees as they signaled for them all to do the same. "sorry won't cut it Daniel. Until someone speaks up you all aren't getting paid." They all looked at the president, in shock they started pleading as the girl from before scooted closer to mr.kang's feet and started to plead. "mr.kang I'm so sorry I didn't know it was important...I'll never make the same mistake again!" She begged. He snickers and signs to his secretary, "get her out of here." He said as he walked away. The employees looked at the girl in shock as she started to tear up getting up from her knees and to her desk to clear it.

"And what did you hear mrs.robinson say to mr.robinson?" you stood over the table, looking the teenage girl in the eyes. "she said that she will kill him no matter what" she spoke softly into the mic on the table, "Thank you stacy" u smiled at her and turned around, "that's all your honor."you said and went to ur seat.

"How was the trial?" your friend said after taking a sip of her beer , "long and tiring. I'm so tired of this job" u sighed and laid ur head on the table. She reaches out to pat ur head , "you'll be fine y/n. OH! that's right, my sister was fired today!"emma spoke quite loud, u put ur head back up suddenly intrigued. "really? Why did jess get fired?"U asked her, "she shredded a important contract I guess , but the president was so harsh on her" she said whole taking a piece of chicken from the box you had on ur coffee table, you both were sitting on the floor of your apartment, it's been 2 years since you had moved out of your dad's house , leaving since the constant arranged dates and nagging to get married,

"y/n It's been a year since you had a boyfriend, why did you and that mr.kang guy break up?" One said , "you and that kang guy were so cute together. Too bad you can't keep a relationship" another spoke , "just text him , I bet he would answer."

it's been 1 year since you and taehyun had broken up. you guys dated for a few months until you both called it quits because of the colliding personal life's. You were a prosecutor and he was the president of a huge company, one wanted to get married the other didn't.

"y/n let's just get married" he tried to reason with you while he sat on the edge of the shared bed and you stood in the door way . "taehyun you know I don't want to." You rubbed your forehead, feeling a headache coming. "But why. You dont ever want to tell me, is it because you don't want to marry me?" He spoke the last word soft and quiet. "It's not like that babe. I just don't want to get married at 29. Maybe when I'm 34 or 35." , "I don't want to be that old before getting married..." he held his head low. "Then why dont you just leave?" You regretted what you said the second you said it. Why did you say that? "What?.." he looked at you like a lost puppy. "We both can't satisfy eachothers needs. We're different, we both knew this relationship wouldn't last. I hope u find someone for you. " U said grabbing ur bag , turning around to leave, but he stopped you. "Y/n if you leave right now I seriously won't forgive you."his voice was shaky, as if he was already sobbing. When u turned ur head around u saw the pain in his eyes. In his face. "If you leave...it's over" he whispered, not wanting to say it. "goodbye tae." You said as u got out of his grip and walked out the apartment you both shared. Tears already falling as you walked to ur car.

you felt like crying whenever you thought of that moment. you knew the relationship went to shit because of you and you regretted it. But getting married was all too soon, you still wanted to have your own space. You sighed as ur friend went on and on about her sister being fired by your ex.

you knew your dad's health was deteriorating. You knew he wouldn't have much time left , and you knew this meant you had to get married, quickly. So when u visited your dad at the hospital you decided to tell him you'll get married to whoever he arranges you with.

"Dad."

"yes y/n"

"Set me up with a man who has intentions on getting married."

"Really?"

"Yes"

Half a week later

you were nervous waiting for your date to show up. Scared that you knew you had to get married to them since you promised your dad the last time you saw him. Checking the time on ur phone nervously double checking to see if you came too early. Or maybe too late and he already left. When you looked up ur heart stopped.

"Terry please go on this date, she wants to get married. Do it for us." His parents pleaded with him. He sighs and nods. He had to go to this date. He promised his parents that the next date he gets set on he would marry her, since he rejected so many dates after you.

"what the.." you whisper. He looks even better than before. How is that even possible? To your surprise he sits down. He checks his watch hoping the time would go faster. You both knew you had to get married at the end of the day. But the past is seeping through the walls , he tried not to start a fight since you both were in public. "I guess it was me after all." He ends up deciding to be petty. U lightly scoff n look out the window of the restaurant, "I have to get married."you say through gritted teeth, "now u have to? Didn't we have to get married back then?"he stares out the window as well, both of you guys not wanting to make eye contact. " taehyun it was different back then." you sigh rubbing ur head feeling a headache coming. He looks at you, knowing how you would get headaches often. He almost asked if you were okay. Almost. "How was it different? What's different now??" He says making u look at him, you felt your throat become dry and scratchy. You didn't want to tell him your father was dying but he would just keep fighting with you if you didn't. Building up some courage you started to speak. "Because my father is dying."you spoke with a shaky voice. Like how he sounded back then. His death glare turned soft and sad. He just stared at you not knowing what to say. He tries to open his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

After a few moments of silence he speaks up again."i..didn't know." He whispers. U laugh slightly, "how would you know." He shrugs, looking around as the atmosphere became awkward. "Lets just get married taehyun. I won't be a bother to you since I'm always at the office."you say grabbing ur bag and getting up to leave. "Okay. Let's get married."

4 months later

It was your wedding day. Your whole family was here , even your friends. They say this will be your happiest moment. That this only happens once and it’s great to get married but really , was it your happiest moment? Will this just happen once? And is it really great to get married? You were stuck in your thoughts until you heard your friends voice , “helloooooooo y/n are you there?” You were startled by the sudden voice filling the quiet room. “Oh hey Emma” u smile as she takes a seat in the bench you were sat on, “who would know you would get married to your ex” she slightly laughed, u smile softly and nod. “Who would’ve thought..” you looked down at your dress. It was long and beautiful, anyone would be happy to be in your spot right now, marrying a wonderful and handsome man. But that wonderful and handsome man was your ex. The man you left, you didn’t deserve to be in this spot and you know it, “also y/n I’m sorry I missed your fathers funeral. I really loved him, he treated me well.”Emma hugged you softly, feeling bad for not making it. “It’s all good” you mumbled, fighting back tears that threatened to spill. “Your husband looks really good by the way.” She says trying to lighten the mood. You laugh at the sudden sentence, “I bet he does look good, he’s taehyun.”

“Please bring out the bride!” Your friend exclaimed at the alter, you took a deep breath in trying to calm your nerves. Breathing out as the doors open, you walked down to the stage alone, this should’ve been done with my dad. You thought as you reached your soon-to-be husband. You both slightly bowed to each other , showing respect. You stood in front of him, your ex. He looked annoyed,mad,and upset. Rightfully so, if this was a year ago he would look so in-love and happy but you ruined it. you looked down at your feet that weren’t visible due to the white dress covering them.

“Do you, Kang taehyun , take (ur full name) to be your wife?”

“I do.”

“and do you, (ur full name) , take Kang taehyun to be your husband?”

“yes..i do”

“With the power invested in me, you are now husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride”

“that won’t be necessary.”

The drive back to the house your father bought for you and your new husband was silent. Awkward even, though you were married you both weren’t happy. You looked over to taehyun who was undoing his tie n throwing it in the backseat. He unbuttoned the first two buttons n sighed heavily, “just because we’re married doesn’t mean we will sleep in the same room, you’ll sleep in the guest bedroom or whatever. I don’t care.” He said as he pulled into the drive way.”fine with me.” U mutter as u open the car door , slamming it as u closed it hoping to make taehyun made since you knew he loved his car more than anything. “So fucking petty.” He whispered and opened the door to the house. You both walk in and go your separate ways, you going to the guest room and him going to what you assume, his office.

you were laying on the couch , remote in one hand and the other hand in a bag of chips. You were watching king the land as you heard a knock on the door later followed by the passcode being put in, “who the..?” U whispered as u paused ur show and sat up to see who walked in. “Ay tae wanna go get a drink , or should we jus drink here” a tall,loud, brownish red head appeared from the doorway, walking in after taking off his shoes. He looks around till his eyes lands on you. “Where’s taehyun??” He said walking over to the couch, taking a seat next to you. “Oh uh..I don’t know” u said after realizing u haven’t seen him all day, he nods n takes the remote, “I’m beomgyu by the way. I don’t know if he mentioned me but im his best friend” he smiled as he looked for a show to watch, this man has no manners.. “yeah I know you” u said remembering him from a old conversation you and taehyun had.

“Where are u going?” You asked your boyfriend who came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist , showing a bit of his v-line. You slightly blush at his appearance , “im going out with beomgyu, why?” He says as he uses the other towel in his hand to dry his hair. “Just him?” U say while getting up, walking over to your boyfriend to help him dry his hair, he smiles and hands the towel to you. “Yeah everyone else is busy” he says relaxing into ur touch as u dry his locks, “I’m not busy” u smile at him while u throw the towel somewhere random n grab his hand to lead him to the closet to find a outfit for him. “Is that so?” He says while putting on a pair of boxers, letting the towel fall to his feet. U sneak a look at him as he pulls on the pair. “yes, it is true” you pout at tae, “my poor baby” he laughs slightly and pulls you close to him, “come on pretty”he says and walks you both to the bed.

“You know me?!” He gasps dramatically, “yes taehyun has mentioned you” u say reminiscing in that memory, you loved every memory you had with him back then, “see I told you he was my best friend” he giggles and looks at you, you look back at him almost confusingly. “I didn’t know he hung out with people like you” u say under your breath. “What do you mean people like me?!” He fully turns his body at you, sitting crisscrossed apple sauce. “I don’t mean it like that, you guys have a different personality as you and I didn’t know he liked loud people” you explain yourself , he laughs n smiles at you. looking at you like how taehyun used to. You look away from him feeling awkward. “Opposites attract you know” he says leaning into you, “yeah..they do” you sigh n grab the bag of chips you were previously eating. He leans back up and slightly coughs. “Anyways.. when will tae be home?” He says taking out his phone from his back pocket. “I’m not sure” you reply as you watch whatever he put on.”oh yeah! I saw you at the wedding, obviously it was your wedding..anyways you looked super pretty in that dress. Lucky tae!” He says excitedly. You smile at him and thank him, “there’s nothing lucky about that” the man who beomgyu was originally looking for suddenly spoke up, taking his shoes off and placing his coat on the rack. “Oh tae!” Beomgyu jumps up n walks over to his friend. Tae looked at him then you, looking obviously annoyed. “Why were you here when I wasn’t” he asks gyu while looking at you. “Cos I wanted to grab a drink with you. Obviously” he says as he grabs his friend to walk back out the door. Tae obliges and walks with his friend still looking at you. “Bye.” You say to them as you get up and walk to your room. “Bye y/n!” Beomgyu tells as he walks out the door.

“Y/n is pretty, you really did win the lottery” beomgyu says after taking a long sip of his beer, “she is. But she’s truly evil.” He sighs and grabs his can of beer. “How so” beomgyu asks, “she broke up with me like he never loved me! Then she asks her dad to set her up with a man who wants to get married! And when she found out it was me who he set her up with she acted as if she didn’t want to get married during our relationship. I don’t know gyu. I feel like I’m being too mean to her but then i remember what she did to me, I miss her like crazy. I mean I’m glad she’s back in my life but I didn’t want it to happen like this!” He goes on a rampage, “gyu I can’t take it anymore, should I go home right now and make it up to her?” He says as beomgyu just laughs at him. “You know you won’t, do something about it when your sober” , he sighs and nods taking another sip of his drink.

“taehyun I won’t be home later, can you please call someone for the toilet. It’s broken” you say as u put ur shoes on while he cooks something for himself. “You do it when u get home.” He says with a small attitude, you scoff at his attitude. “It’s your fucking house you do it. I dont have time to do that today.” You say walking over to the kitchen, slamming your bag on the table, taehyun slightly jumps from the sudden noise. He turns around to look at you, visibly annoyed. “Do you think your the only one busy here?” He laughs slightly looking out the window, “are you about to go to work right now taehyun?” You say walking up to him.”go to work then! All you do is talk about your job, even more now than a year ago” he says staring down at you from the height difference. You look at him disgusted, “like you were even better! You were always at work, we didn’t even go one dates besides the one we met on.” He scoffs and leans onto the stove only to burn his hands, “holy shit” he winced jumping away from the stove that was still turned on, you grab his wrists to move him to the sink to put cold water on it, he looks at you with soft eyes, “are you okay?” You say looking back up at him. “yeah..” he whispers still looking at you, “m sorry, shouldn’t have started a argument” u apologize and look back at his hands, “it’s okay y/n” he smiles at you even though you aren’t looking at him.

“She’s making me go insane yeonjun.” Tae sighs as he lays on the bed with his friend , “how” yeonjun replies as he scrolls mindlessly on insta, “it’s embarrassing.” Taehyun says and puts a pillow over his face. “What is she making you sexually frustrated?” His friend says jokingly, after a few seconds of silence after he said that he looks at his friend, putting his phone down. “Damn she ain’t even letting u hit?” Yeonjun says and laughs. “We aren’t even on good enough terms TO fuck yeonjun. When I burned my hands we were fighting right, and like she looked so hot during that moment and when I burned my hands she held my wrists” tae rambles to his best friend. “So ur horny cos she held ur wrists?” He snickers at the thought of it. “No yeonjun. That’s just the only contact we had in a year. JUN I HAVENT EVEN HAD SEX WITH ANYONE SINCE SHE LEFT ME” he starts to yell as he flips over and screams in the pillow he was laying his head on. “This is the saddest love story I’ve heard”

“Y/n!” You hear beomgyu yell out for u as u lay in ur bed, you had just woken up and your already being called for. You hear your door open and comes in beomgyu. He lays on ur bed next to u and cuddles up next to you, “hi y/n” he mumbles , “hi beomgyu” you reply in a tired tone. “Y/n want to hang out today?” He asks as you reach for ur phone, “she’s busy with me today gyu, leave” Tae suddenly appears in the doorway. “U guys are no fun” beomgyu mumbles as he gets up and leaves, sticking his tounge out to his friend as he passes by him. Tae closes the door and sits next to you, “what do u need?” You ask him as you stretch. “I’m sorry y/n.” You look at him confused, “for what?” U ask him, turning ur body towards him. “For everything, for arguing last week, for pressuring you trying to get you to marry me, idk I’m sorry for a lot of things” he says looking at you with sincere eyes. You smile at him and pull him into a hug, he gladly hugs you back. “I’m sorry too taehyun, I shouldn’t have done what I did to you back then, and im sorry for everything else” you say as he tightens his grip. After a few minutes of hugging you both let go, he rests his hands on your waist. “You know y/n.. I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up” he says with a small smile, “is that so?” You say as you smile back. “Mhm, so that means I haven’t slept with anyone either” he smirks slightly. You realize what he’s trying to get at and you smile at him, “not right now tae, I have to go to work” you try to get up but he grabs ur wrist, “but y/n.. I haven’t felt you in so long, haven’t felt all of you.” And with that he pulls u back down to the bed , he goes to hover over u, “tae..” you whisper gently as he presses small kisses on your neck. “I didn’t want to fuck any other girl cos they weren’t you. No one could make me feel good besides you.” He says, placing soft hickeys. “But it seems like you enjoy messing around with other men, especially my friend.” He says as he takes your shirt off, you shutter at the sudden change of temperature, feeling colder than before . “Letting him cuddle you like I used to, is it fun to mess with me y/n? Did you guys sleep together?” He says while kissing your chest. “No..” you reply back and he smiles at you. “Good. Cant have my baby getting fucked by anyone other than me.”

honestly this was rushed because I would’ve forgotten about it if I didn’t finish it this week, I hope you guys enjoy it though 🫶🫶

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Omg I got an Idea, Can I have some headcanons for a human! reader criticizing patriarchy! ken's ways and how their kind of fucked up? (Also I need them explaining that they're basically saying house house in the Mojo Dojo Casa House name lol,)

- Kneecaps anon

Ghgjjd okay so I know Sasha and Gloria already informed him of that in the movie, but this prompt was funny to me

.....

At first you were reluctant to follow this random guy named Ken to "Barbieland" after he asked you a billion questions about horses and patriarchy.

He insisted on showing you how the Kens were treated, convinced that once you understood everything you'll sympathize with them more.

In the end, you went with him out of genuine curiosity, finding out that this supposedly imaginary pink utopia was, in fact, not-so-imaginary as you transverse the different landscapes together.

Although at one point you had to man the 2D speedboat as he got seasick.

When you both arrive, Ken goes on to tell everybody what he learned while you get lost exploring Barbieland.

You didn't think he'd take your jokes about the patriarchal structure of human society seriously..

But he clings to them as facts and radically transforms the doll world, and within hours it becomes Kendom Land.

You don't know how it all happened so fast, though you got irritated quickly over what he's done to the place you were just starting to admire.

Especially when he takes on a macho persona and dons that silly fur coat, before stealing Barbie's dreamhouse and reintroducing it to you as his "Mojo Dojo Casa House".

Something about that definitely irked you.

"You know "casa" is just Spanish for house, right?"

"Yeah, duh." He rolls his eyes.

"But you're already saying "house" anyways."

"...and your point?"

"My point is that you're pretty much saying "mojo dojo house house"."

"No I'm not. Because it's Mojo Dojo Casa House." He pouts, before asking a nearby Barbie to "brewski beer" him (to which you tell her "do NOT" and shoo her away).

You quickly remember you're arguing with a children's toy....so he was definitely going to be stubborn like a child and you'll just have to put up with it for now.

Ken couldn't brainwash a human, although he's still gonna argue with you and have petty temper tantrums whenever you keep criticizing the way he's running things.

"I'm just saying, this is NOT how men act in Century City at all.." You try explaining as he pouts, sorting through his western and denim outfits. "You just took whatever ideals you liked about them, dialed them up to 11, and forced them onto everyone here."

"Forced?? Take a look around, [y/n]--the Kens are happy! We embraced those ideals because we never got to have ANY of these cool things under the Barbies! If not for the multitude of...limitations in the Real World, I could've been the next president of California-"

"Don't you mean United States?"

"...no, I mean your country of California."

"......you seriously think California is a country? It's a state."

He does a double-take. "It is...? I thought Los Angeles was the state.."

'Oh for crying out-'

You realize the dolls had seriously misconstrued ideas about the Real World if they got the basic geography of it wrong.

But you're not gonna sit here and school him on everything. That wasn't your job and you do have your own life to get back to, anyways.

So you just...leave Kendom in the reverse order you arrived.

You'll let him live out his fantasy, but didn't want any part of it.

Especially upon seeing a group of construction worker Kens building a brick wall up and not sideways.

[kindnessisweakness2]

4

Emily signed the paperwork and much to the disappointment of Jax that was the last time he had seen or heard from her in a week. He didn't know what it was but his head was full of her. She was a fucking pocket rocket for sure. She handled Noah, put that crow eater in line without using her fists and shot David Hale down quicker than Clay ever had the opportunity to. He couldn't stop thinking about her and Gemma could see it. Fuck, everyone could. But Noah? God Noah felt it full force. Jax had him busting his arse more than any other prospect, and everyone could guess at why. "When are you gonna stop messing with that kid and just go see her?" Clay questioned as he made his way into the empty clubhouse. Jax shrugged from his place at the bar. He was sipping a cold beer as he sat and watched Noah clean his bike on the security cameras. Yes it was the 4th time in two days he made him do it, but in Jax's eyes it was fair. "I dont know what you mean." Clay rolled his eyes as he poured himself a whiskey. "You got the hots for this girl. Gem told me. Just go see her and let the prospect sleep for god sakes. We have a shipment coming tomorrow, i need him in good shape." It was Jax's turn to roll his eyes at his step father. Never would have guessed Clay to take a prospects side. Standing from his seat at the bar, Jax nodded at Clay and made his way out to his bike. "Pack it up prospect, I've got somewhere I gotta go." Noah stood to his feet and awkwardly twisted the oil covered rag in his hands. "Can I talk to you quickly before you go?" Jax's eyebrow raised in question. Noah seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts, trying to work out how to phrase what he wanted to say without pissing his Vice President off. "Look, I don't want you anywhere near Emily. I know your track record with women Jax And I don't want her hurt." Noah clearly threw caution to the wind and tried to be as firm as possible with Prince of Charming. Noah couldn't deny that part of him hated that Jax could have whoever and whatever he wanted. Women looked at him like he was sex on legs. Perfection, with a physique that the Gods themselves carved. But Noah didn't see the appeal. In his eyes Jax was a dick, and it wasn't like he was the only blonde haired, blue eyed boy in charming. Jax's eyes widened in Suprise at the boldness of the prospect and laughter tumbled from his mouth. Noah felt his chest burn with both embarrassment and anger at the sound. "The last person I'm gonna listen to is you, grunt. Yeah she's hurt and your the one to blame. Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll pay her a visit, make her feel better. From what I hear it's not gonna be hard to fill your shoes." Winking at the prospect, Jax put on his helmet and sped out of the lot, leaving a disgruntled Noah scowling at the reaper that addorned his back.

30 minutes riding aimlessly around Charming did nothing to clear Jax's head and sure enough he ended up in the one place he was adamant he wouldn't go. Leaning against his bike across the road from Emily's home, Jax lit a cigarette and mentally wrestled with himself. He was never this nervous about a girl before. He was the prince, Girls fell at his feet all the time. But this girl? No this girl was different. Fuck. What was he doing? He knew minimal things about this girl, so why was she all up in his brain. Not even crow eaters could distract him from the purple haired pocket rocket. "Jax?" His head snapped up, the sound of her voice halting his pacing immediately. There she stood in joggers and a cropped vest, looking worried. Her hair was down, the long purple strands dangling over her shoulder and Jax's first thought was imagining running his fingers through it. Wondering if it was as soft as it looked. "Jax is something wrong?" Emily spoke again, the concern in her voice clear. Jax found himself frowning at her. "Yeah, there is actually. I havent seen you at the clubhouse." Emily scoffed at the nerve of the man infront of her. She had seen him from her kitchen window and the sight of him pacing, chainsmoking cigarettes made her worried. Now she felt stupid for caring. "Im not a fucking Crow eater Jax. I've heard how the club treats women, thats not me." Emily turned to walk away, but his gentle hand on her arm stopped her. "Thats not what i meant Darlin'. I meant...Fuck i like having you around okay?" Emily shook her head, completely dumbfounded. "Jax you met me twice. You dont know me. Look, if this is a way to piss Noah off, fucking his ex, im not here for it. Whatever he's done, leave me out of it." Jax rubbed his face frustrated. "This isnt about Noah Em. Infact I cant stand him. This is different. Is it so hard to believe that i may actually want to get to know you? That i enjoyed the time I spent talking to you at the clubhouse the other day?" Emily smiled softly at him. "I'm not different. Jax im boring. Your wasting your time here with me. You have multiple women who would give anything to spend a night with you. Dont be stupid. Go." Jax grinned at her as she gave him a gentle shove towards his bike. Throwing his arm over her shoulder instead, Jax guided her back towards her house.

"Well arent you lucky? Tonights your night Em, Im Yours. Let me be the judge of whether your boring." Emily couldnt help but laugh at the confidence on him. It was gonna be a long night.

[royal-ruin]

red, white, and royal blue fic recs (part 2)

other rwrb fic recs here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

five times henry's competency turned alex on and the one time it turned him into a pile of romantic goo by helenblqckthorn (~4k)

Alex has a fucking thing for competency. A competency kink, if he wants to be crude. And it just so happens that his boyfriend is one of the most competent men in England. Well, Alex, he thinks. You sure know how to pick ‘em.

*ever so careful (heartbreak remix) by everwitch (~7k)

Did you know about me and Henry? Henry is a singer in the mega-popular boyband Honey. Alex is an award-winning actor. But before either of them made their claim to fame, they were something else entirely.

so heart-breakingly beautiful

*i see you (your whole heart) by indomitablelove (~7k)

‘I think he’s excellent,’ Arthur says, picking up a knife from the pot of jam to spread over his toast. ‘It’s refreshing to see someone be so unapologetically themselves. I think we need more of that.’ He glances at Henry. ‘I think that everybody should be able to be exactly who they are, without shame.’ Five times Arthur tried to tell Henry he knew (and one time Henry told him).

when i tell you this had me tearing up

*fleeting seconds (wish you would hold me for more) by zellymaybloom (~9k) incomplete

Henry and Alex have a tradition where they kiss on New Years. 5 times they do, 1 time they don't. Henry isn't sure how much it means. OR in a world where Rio doesn't spark a rivalry, but instead a friendship, Alex kisses Henry every year instead of Nora.

more of the boys being completely oblivious (mostly alex ofc)

(baby) don't make me spell it out by extasiswings for letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (~2k)

One night near the end of first semester 1L finals, just a few weeks before the two-year anniversary of their first kiss, Alex finds himself looking up from his desk with its messy piles of color-coded notes and tabbed textbooks to see Henry asleep on the couch, clearly having dozed off waiting for him to come to bed, and unbidden he thinks, God, I’m going to marry this man. It startles him, the spike of adrenaline that floods through him waking him up and bringing the parts of his brain turning over concepts like proximate cause and strict liability to a standstill as he stares at Henry.  I want to marry this man.

a must-read. i never get tired of alex's pining. (should clarify, they are dating here)

I'm Fine With My Spite and My Tears (and my beer and my candles) by Megg1223 (~8k)

Henry leaves Alex at the lake house, but Alex doesn't storm Kensington. What happens when they see each other after three months? With the election right around the corner can Alex keep it together enough not to cause another international incident? Alex just needs to get through the night and then he can forget about the boy who broke his heart, but he's finding it increasingly difficult as the night goes on.

tagged with a happy ending, but it is angsty :(

**God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea (~31k)

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.”  “June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.”  “Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”] --- On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life.  Alex gets shot instead.

if you haven't read this, you definitely have to now. be warned it is very angsty though.

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 6

I had to pause Taskmaster NZ for this. Did you guys know that the episodes are on YouTube for FREE?!?!?!?!!?!!

Love the intro as usual, Sarah Barrios goes so hard

HELLO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!

Hiii intrepid heroes!

AYDA AGUEFORT PLEASE COME BACK I MISS YOU

I wonder if adaine will get a new job this episode

rest in peace Conor Counterspell

I forgot how much happened last episode

"Buttered to perfection"

IT'S ALWAYS HAPPY HOUR AT APPLEBEE'S

RAGHHHHHHHHH

SHE OWES OODLE OF STOODLE?!!??!? SHE LOST HER JOB AND SHE HAS TO PAY THEM?

MILK WITH VODKA...??

"I don't do this to you" I can tell this will be a giggly episode

OH NO. OH NO. THE HELIO RAT GRINDER CLERIC. OH NO

"It's filled with water!"

SPIKED MILK

"Who's a bad baby?" FABIAN I LOVE YOU

CAN YOU FILL THIS RED SOLO CUP WITH BAD BABY MILK

"I'm self sabotaging" I feel you Kristen. I feel you.

"I know in my heart that in his final moments he must have repented and gone—" "No.... No..."

"You should go to hell sometime"

ANOTHER SHRIMP JUMP

HELL HOUND FORM ART OH MY GOD LOOK AT HANGMAN!!!!!

"Smells good"

"Whatever you didn't like about your old self, you feel like, oh, it's present in this kid who is also drinking water out of a beer can." Brennan why must you be so good at pulling heartstrings

Double Kristen 🔥🔥

MOLMAN HOLDEN

SOIL CLUB

AVIATION CLUB

We got like 18 votes 🔥🔥

With disadvantage? oh no.

omg ivy has the same accent as garthy

"Your family is from Fallinel" her mom is gone and she killed her they can't help pay for the diamond

"Hot dragonborn is about to know your shit"

oh adaine... I understand you so well

Adaine and Fabian duo is so under appreciated I need more of them

"Everyone can suck a nut, fuck off"

There is so much sexual tension between Gorgug and Ragh rn

"If you push me too hard, I'm going to shit"

CARBO LOAD ON MILK?

"I think I ate some glass— there was vodka in it???" Oh Ragh my beloved....

Riz rambling is so real

Oh Ragh I love you, you're trying so hard to help I love you you are perfect

LYDIA'S MESSAGE BACK I LOVE HER

CRUSTACEAN NATION

ohhhh Fabian.....

The High 5 Heroes...

OISIN AND IVY... ARE THEY PART OF THE RAT GRINDERS????

"It's not the library, you can't rip the pages out!"

This is a very duo episode. Fig / Kristen, Fabian / Adaine, Gorgug / Riz

I'm starting to think Kristen is trying to be the president of the steelworker union at this rate

FETTY WAP AT HOMECOMING

"I'm gonna be kick flipping the system"

Fantasy High Senior Year main objective is going to be getting Fetty Wap to homecoming

"It's gonna be weird to not be you. I feel home here."

ohhh Emily what are you strategizing rn

oh no.. I think Ivy noticed her change

Fabian is struggling rn

ADAINE, PARTY WIZARD!!!!!!

"I can impersonate the dead when I want"

So much destruction of Fabian's property this episode

ivy isn't very nice. don't go for our girl mazey

THE ICE MUFFETS

oh is Brennan about to make Fabian choose between Ivy and Mazey? I swear to GOD

oh no..... Fabian.....

Mazey being straight laced (?) But still being the absolute life of the party is so good

"(Murph Sobs)"

Fuck the record labels

"Just trying to decide if I want to be bard any more..." OH?

Rough day for Fabian. So rough.

Murph rollin' better.

At least none of them actually did drugs. Just. The bad baby milk. What is the drinking age of Spyre? I don't know

Bad Kids Apicology Arc

OHHHH I LOVE GERTIE THAT'S SO CUTE THE BEE

oh no Fabian vs Gertie

actually it's more like Fabian vs everyone

NEW NEMESIS DETECTED???? OH MY GOD

Riz panic is so real, them getting kicked out of school would be awful

Tracker and Kristen call...........

oh no....

"I'm gonna be President, bitch."

I relate to Kristen too much, this is painful for me to listen to because it's too real

"Maybe she had a shrimp allergy, you don't fuckin' know"

"I hope your new partner is really fucking hot." Oh Kristen

"Riz you're the only one who is honest with me"

OH THE POTENTIAL OVERLAP........

"Tough but fair. Have a great life" KRISTEN.....

Drunk texting Aelwyn.

I MISS AYDA.

Murph is going full investigator rn

The egg slurry

"Fuck!"

I was NOT expecting Fig to be the one to do a full class switch but honestly it's understandable

"We're having to destroy ourselves to pass these classes." As someone who was severely depressed in high school, I resonate with that statement a little too much.

I want to go to a Lydia lunch

"So what's up" Kristen's god is dead.

"took an orb to the chest"

Oh Lydia.... I want to hug her so tightly.

"God baby hospital"

Now I'm hungry for chicken parm

downtime

STRESS TOKENS?????

looks like next episode is dice rolling