#you clearly don't understand anything about actual activism and what actually helps

[gearbox-doll]

If I see one more post about how liking HP and separating the art from the artist is a Moral Crime I'm going to scream

[acheronist]

ahem. I present to you: the peglar papers (the unofficial visual transcription), my freak pet project that's taken over a lot more of my life than I would like to admit!!

the idle thought of "I wish I could read these damn pages more clearly" took hold of my brain and wouldn't let me rest until I had traced over every page within the wallet and uhhhhhhhh. well here we are. the process of actually editing the scans to darken the script, tracing over it all, and then documenting the damage stains and holes on each page etc took about total ten months-ish to evolve into this monstrosity, so I'd appreciate it if someone could clap!!! I've been working really hard on this niche ass project for a long time!!!!!

anyways........ this is (nearly) every page available on the royal museum greenwich's online collection, AFTER I spent an agonizingly long time picking through each mark of the incredibly faded victorian cursive. (I've still yet to do henry's printed navy ID paper. It's in such bad shape, there's really not a lot I can confidently make out and all attempts thus far are incomprehensible 😔👍)

I anticipate there are some mistakes & misreadings in here somewhere, but I truly did use my very very very best efforts to stay faithful to what the marks upon the page looked like as they were made. I really hoped to get a typed up / deciphered transcript done as well, but unfortunately I don't have the time for such a thing right now due to The Rest Of My Life Is Still Happening, so this will have to do for now!! someday I will have a pdf and a transcript available, but everyone will have to bear with me until then.

Feel free to use these for.... whatever.... you need them for? If anyone else wants to take a stab at deciphering the backwards pages, or type up anything to make it more readily available and understandable, I'd love that and would love to see that!!!! very very much!!!!! as much as the ghost of tom armitage and I enjoy being the active crypt keepers for henry peter peglar (february 22, 1812 – c. 1849), it'd be lovely to have extra help with working out what the fuck he was saying in some parts �� ok sorry for the long post, thanks for reading, mwah

[bhaalble]

I like that Last Unicorn quote as much as the next guy but I do always wind up feeling a little detached from analysis that paints Astarion's disapproval as purely envy. Partly because. No one's doing this for Lae'zel for instance even though she has similar disapproval and similar trauma (all she can remember is a hostile physically and emotionally exploitative environment which expected perfect strength and obedience from her or else she would be punished or killed). But also partly because it feels pretty detached from everything he actually has to say about it.

The thing about Astarion is he loathes weakness. He loathes sentiment and he loathes dependence. You can see this when he actually opens his mouth up about the people he disapproves of saving, but also incredibly loudly when he talks about the other companions, as well as his fellow spawn. If Lae'zel submits to Vlaakith he talks scornfully about how some people just come to love their chains. He's confused and put off if Wyll submits to Mizora to save his father. In every conversation with his fellow spawn (at least when hes not actively manipulating them) he's dismissive and harsh, and clearly he's perfectly willing to sacrifice them for the sake of himself.

There's an obvious origin point of those feelings, of course. Cazador's abuse is designed to actively kill off empathy in his spawn, both towards each other and towards victims. The last time Astarion prioritized someone over his own skin he got locked in a tomb for a year. We can see glimpses of it with the other spawn too, how his siblings are (apparently uncompelled at first) willing to drag Astarion back to their master for their freedom, how Petras' first dream of freedom is getting to drain another person dry. Astarion certainly doesn't seem to feel any real sense of solidarity with them, likely because Cazador understands that them building a community is a threat to his authority the way it was to his own master.

I'd also argue its Astarion projecting his own self-loathing outwards. So much of his quest is about his desperate attempt to escape from who he was. He's been given a chance to slip free of the limitations of being a spawn. He clings to that because of course he would. He also instinctively begins to run over everything in his path, because if there's anything he has learned over the past 200 years its that good things can always be taken away unless you make sure to remove any and all possible threats to that scrap of well-being. He's disdainful of people in need of help because they represent who he fears to go back to being! He calls his siblings "poor fools" while refusing to confront the fact that had it not been for the tadpole he would be in exactly their position, forced to cling to the hope that Cazador is telling the truth for once because escape isn't an option either way. He becomes irritated when Tav slows down to help the unfortunate because they represent roadblocks on his own path to safety.

There's an idea in mental health stolen from airplane safety: that you shouldn't help anyone else until your own mask is secure. What they don't tell you, speaking from personal experience at least, is that PTSD, especially for long term trauma, has a way of making you feel like your own mask will never be secure. And while that's scary, and it sucks, and there should be the utmost patience for it: no one is going to realize that mask is secure for you. Eventually you are going to have to accept the fact that you are breathing just fine. Eventually you are also going to have to accept that people asking something of you isn't them endangering you, even if it can sometimes (often) feel like it. It doesn't make you obligated to help them. But it does mean you have to stop reacting to them like a threat, because not 5 minutes ago that was you.

I think the idea that he's only mad because he's jealous is a gratifying fantasy. He didnt feel safe before, but now through your PC and the power of love he'll feel warm and cozy enough to forgive you for not being there to begin with. But I also think Astarion cannot live in a reality where he's never pushed back on. His instinctive self-protective movements are a coping mechanism, yes, but coping mechanisms developed under survival conditions can also be a way of keeping you frozen in your trauma. Outside of the environment they were necessary for, they can even hinder you from growing in the ways you need to grow to move past what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to stop a baby tiefling from getting crazy murdered by a snake because it turns out. That can happen to anybody not just people who are weak and stupid and deserve to die anyways not like me I'm normal-

[thewertsearch]

JASPERSPRITE: I think you should tell him that you like him you might not get the chance if you dont. […] AC: :33 < i know, but its just not that simple. i could make someone else jealous i think, and what if he doesnt f33l the same way, and, urrgh, its so complickated

I totally understand Nepeta’s perspective here. She’s always been hyper-aware of the meteor’s relationship dynamics, and would naturally be overwhelmed by the interpersonal implications of pursuing Karkat.

That said, I think this was a misstep on her part. I don’t think that Terezi – the rival I assume she’s alluding to – would actually mind sharing Karkat with Nepeta. The latter is clearly looking for a redrom, and Terezi always seemed to have red and black feelings for Karkat. Having Nepeta fill his hearts quadrant would help Terezi settle into spades, thus stabilizing their relationship.

JASPERSPRITE: I have another story that might give you hope even though it should be noted again that im only a cat. […] JASPERSPRITE: Yes one time i was with rose and i was sitting there dressed up in my suit with her as happy as can be. JASPERSPRITE: But then she disappeared! JASPERSPRITE: The whole place disappeared and i was in another place. […]

Ooh, now this is one of the oldest mysteries remaining in the comic.

Come to think of it, it’s odd that Rose never asked Jaspersprite about this event before. Sure, she asked him why he meowed as he was spirited away, but she never asked him where he was spirited away to.

JASPERSPRITE: […] There was no rose there was someone else. JASPERSPRITE: I guess i loved her too in time but never as much as rose it just wasnt the same.

A woman or girl, then. My original theory was that Jaspers was snatched by either Rose or Mom - but since Jaspers clearly didn't recognize his new owner, I'm going to have to reassess things.

...I suppose it still could have been Rose or Mom, but they'd have to look very different from the Lalondes we know, so that Jaspers would no longer recognize them. Perhaps an older version of Rose, from much later in the comic - but then again, wouldn't a cat still recognize Rose by smell? Jaspers seems to be telling us, quite clearly, that his new owner was not a Lalonde.

Well, what are the other possibilities, then? I'm assuming his owner was a human, because if Jaspers was stolen by an alien, he'd probably comment on the fact. Plus, the only troll with any interest in Jaspers is Nepeta - and Nepeta won't be doing very much of anything very soon.

I guess he could have been swiped by some version of Jade, such as the future incarnation who serves as the Pen-Pal's 'grandmother'. I have no idea what she'd want with Jaspers, or why she'd return him - but we still don't know anything about Future Jade's activities, so that's just par for the course with her.

JASPERSPRITE: I kept waiting to see rose again but never did and finally i lost hope that i would and then i died. JASPERSPRITE: But then i became alive again and i got to see her and i was so happy! Purr purr purr purr purr. JASPERSPRITE: Thats my story and thats why i think theres always hope even if you die. AC: :33 < so, youre saying that maybe i will have to die to get to be with him? JASPERSPRITE: Yes maybe. :3

I certainly hope not. Not because I want Nepeta’s ghost to be lonely, of course – I just don’t want Karkat to be entering the afterlife any time soon!

[g1rld1ary]

a little manpower - neighbour!james potter x reader

wc: 1141

cw: none? reader moving into an apartment and meets james

an: i wish it was summer here so bad I'm struggling!!! what are 1 degree mornings!!!!

Why did nobody tell you it was so bloody hard to move out? Like, everyone talks about the money and the forms and all the confusing adult things, but why did no one tell you about the actual pain in the arse it would be to have to physically move everything you own into a flat three floors up? You didn't consider yourself the fittest person ever, not by a long shot, but you worked out and you didn't think you were weak. Yet there you were, panting like a dog after carrying another box up to your new home.

And of course, it was just your luck that you'd planned your big move-out during what may be Britain's only hot day in the whole year (only slight exaggeration). Still, you felt bad complaining. Your parents had helped you in the morning, moving in some of the IKEA furniture you'd picked out and had a good go of assembling some of it too, so you did have a bed to sleep on. Plus, a college friend had stopped by for an hour or two to keep you company and lifted some boxes with you.

So you didn't have much of a reason to complain, except that you didn't want to be doing it anymore. You were tired of walking up the bloody stairs and your arms were aching from the over-filled boxes. Plus, you had one armchair you'd found at a vintage store that had been sitting near the entryway all day, waiting for you to develop the motivation to drag it upstairs.

When your full-length mirror (deceptively heavy) had you almost in tears you decided enough was enough and it was time for a break. Not brave enough to sit in the woefully unpacked flat you trudged down the stairs one more time, crumpling on the grass nature strip until you were lying on your back.

Everything seemed a bit calmer like that, grass surprisingly cool on the back of your arms and legs. Your muscles relaxed for the first time in hours and you thought if you were in a cartoon you'd probably start fusing into the earth. The only thing that would make the moment nicer would be the peace of mind of knowing your belongings were all safely away in your new flat. And maybe an ice cream.

"Alright, love?" A male voice came from just beyond your head. You tilted it back to crack one eye open. A man was standing a few metres away, more shadow than human because of the positioning of the sun.

"It's hot," You said, "And I'm tired. And my limbs don't work anymore." You knew you probably sounded a bit like a child, but who were you trying to impress? The man laughed and it didn't quite match his silhouette; carefree and juvenile juxtaposing the muscles he clearly had.

"Understandable." You could kind of see him running a hand through his hair, "You must be the new tenant, right? I heard you were moving in soon. We heard you drop something heavy before... and cry a little." Sensing the conversation probably wasn't going to end with that, you sat up and turned to face him, still squinting from the sun.

"You heard a girl cry and didn't do anything about it? What a gentleman."

"I came out here, didn't I?"

"And you're not on the way out somewhere?"

"Touché." He had the decency to appear a little sheepish, at least from what you could see of him. He held his hand out for you, pulling you to your feet effortlessly. It was easier to see him now, the sun not being at such an uncooperative angle, and you tried not to look so surprised. The man was gorgeous, tall and muscular with dark curls, but his face was so friendly you couldn't help but smile. He was physically intimidating, but in the way that you knew he wasn't trying to specifically gain muscle, it was something he'd gotten through activity, like a sport or trade.

You stood for a minute, face to face but both silent. You wracked your brain for something to say.

"I'm sorry about the big old armchair blocking the entry hall, I can't lift it on my own and I just need a little extra manpower but I couldn't get any friends over to help today. I promise it'll be gone by tomorrow," You said, glad for both something to say and to get the guilty feeling off your chest. The man's face broke out into a wide smile.

"It's no worries," He assured you, "The people here hardly ever leave their apartment, I doubt they'll even notice. Don't you worry about it." Something about the way he spoke calmed your nerves, both about the chair and moving into the building as a whole. It was your first time properly living on your own, and you wanted to find somewhere quiet but welcoming. If this neighbour was anything to go by, you'd made a good choice. You smiled in return, weight lifted off your shoulders.

"Right, thanks. I guess I'll see you around..."

"James," He finished, shaking your hand firmly in a way that you didn't expect. You introduced yourself in return and you both hesitated, unsure of how exactly to end the conversation.

"Right, well, I've got training," James said awkwardly, gesturing to the kit bag around his shoulder. You nodded, starting to step back towards the door to the building.

"Have fun with that," You said, giving him a small wave. You waited until you were safely inside before cringing at your attempts at conversation, sending a bitter glare to the armchair as you passed it.

You didn't leave the apartment until the next morning, opting to peck at whatever you had in the pantry for dinner before passing out on a half-made bed. But you had to pick yourself up and decided you did need to grocery shop and actually fill up the pantry you'd just acquired, so you laced up your Converse and picked the keys up from the temporary table next to the door.

And there, waiting outside your door, was the old green armchair, waiting for you as if it had been there all along. You smiled, rubbing a hand along the velvet slowly. There was only one answer as to who it could have been, and James was clearly honouring whatever higher being gave him all that muscle by using it for good. You decided you'd have to make him cookies to thank him and set off for the shop.

[theinsanefoxwriter]

Gregory Deserves Better...

I never make actual posts to be honest, but I feel the need to right now, because I’m just so…tired of this. My favorite character in the newer FNAF era has been mistreated by both fans and the creators. So I’m making this in light of the new book coming that, at least from the description we have right now, sounds like it’s just Security Breach, except Gregory is replaced by Cassie.

I’ve said many times elsewhere how I suspected they wanted to boot Gregory for Cassie, and...I had no idea how right I actually was. It angers me, but…mostly, I’m just hurt and very disappointed, because it sucks to see a character I loved get so disrespected then practically replaced. The ending of Ruin felt like a slap in the face, and the sting is only getting worse. (And very quickly, in case anybody takes this from what I'm saying, no I don't hate Cassie. I just don't want her to completely replace Gregory.) I’m not here to talk about that situation, though.

If anyone for some reason leaves a comment arguing the points I make, I’m just going to ignore or even delete it. I’m not here to discuss or argue with people who disagree with me and/or think Gregory is a bad character. I just want to express an opinion that I don’t think is said nearly enough. And that opinion is the fact Gregory is severely misunderstood and mistreated by both the fandom and canon itself. I’m not going to get into everything, but enough that you can hopefully understand the point I’m trying to make.

Most of the Gregory hate at the beginning was due to him destroying the animatronics and then lying about it to Freddy. I don’t see how this makes him hateable or a bad person. “Why’d he have to go out of his way to destroy them?” “He’s a bad person for lying to Freddy and giving him the upgrades of his friends.” “The Glamrocks were so awesome. Why did Gregory have to do that?” What kid in danger would want to help or be nice to the scary robots trying to kill them? Or against the better argument, why would he have sympathy for them in a moment of intense danger? When they were actively trying to kill him? He did what he thought he needed to survive, which was destroying them and using the good parts they had to give him a better chance against them. If they had been nice, he would have liked them, but they weren’t. They were after him. And choosing to do that plus being able to do that doesn’t make him a bad person, and it doesn’t mean he's uncaring towards others or that he’s heartless. What I think people don't take into account is that Gregory did befriend an animatronic, the one who wasn't attacking him. He went to great lengths to help Freddy, and genuinely cared for him; that bear needed to be rescued on more than one occasion lol, and Gregory clearly wasn't just doing it because Freddy gives him a hiding place.

And in regard to the lying, I think Gregory hid that he was getting the upgrades from Freddy's friends, because he didn't want to make Freddy mad or hurt his feelings. That does sound like something a kid would do, and he is a kid. He's not gonna be perfect in this situation, and he doesn't even do anything that bad. I don't think Gregory gets enough credit. Everybody just sees a mouthy kid destroying animatronics they like (despite the fact they're hunting him, and the virus has made them basically mindless. Why wouldn’t he?), and they hate on him for it and other rather stupid reasons. Gregory is more than the “annoying” kid who destroyed your favorite animatronics. He’s a clearly guarded and defensive child who got stuck in a bad and terrifying situation, but…in the end, stayed anyway to prevent this and other bad things from happening to anyone else. Gregory cares. Yes, even if he destroyed some animatronics. The creators calling him the “darkness of the Pizzaplex” or whatever they said doesn’t make sense. On the surface, he might look like some child who destroyed Freddy’s friends, but look any deeper at all, and that’s not the case. There’s so much potential for his character, and I’m upset that he isn’t being given the spotlight or time to further explore his potential properly, especially since Security Breach ended up being a bit lacking in a lot of areas: perhaps another factor in why he’s so misunderstood.

In the end, I’m simply tired of seeing a character that I connected with treated like he was just a writing mistake that now needs to be replaced by a “better” character. I’m not saying his writing was perfect, but he deserves way better than this. I feel very passionate about the characters I like, which is why this has affected me so much, and I hope at least a few people see this.

Anything I missed I’m going to touch on briefly here:

GGY? A cool concept, actually, that I wish was utilized in the games. And Gregory is clearly possessed there, similar to Vanessa, so him being Patient 46 and causing people’s deaths can’t actually be held against him.

Dropping the elevator on Cassie? I firmly believe that was not him, and very clearly the Mimic’s doing. There’s solid evidence behind it, but I’m not going to get into it because it’s exhausting. Just know that no one can convince me otherwise. And even if the writers wanted Gregory to do that, it’s out of character and clearly an act of character assassination.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Now go hug a misunderstood gremlin!

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 4

Farmers Market

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: nothing crazy. another date, katsuki being sweet, reader uses their quirk

Word Count: 1.4k

previous chapter

It's been about two weeks since you went on your date with Bakugou and you haven't seen him since, unfortunately. But it was for good reason - his hero work.

Going into this, you knew he'd be extremely busy, but you didn't think he'd be this busy. But you could understand it. Though something you did appreciate was the fact that he did make time to talk to you on the phone and would let you know when he'd have to go hours without talking.

In these past two weeks you also thought about his serious talk with you, about honesty.

Guilt ate away at you every time you started writing or even thought about it, which made it harder to stay active on your writing account.

Your secret really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still a secret. Fan fiction was also something that had a bad reputation among people who didn't read it, so who knows how Bakugou felt about it.

Your phone ringing broke you out of your thoughts.

Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was Bakugou. Smiling, you answered it and said "Hi Bakugou!"

"Hey, you busy right now?" He asked.

You looked around your room, as if that'd give you an answer. "Uh no, why?"

"Good. Can you be ready in like - thirty minutes? I'm free for the rest of the day and I wanna hangout now that I actually have time."

How sweet.

"Yeah I'll be ready by then. Are we meeting somewhere?"

"No, I'm picking you up."

"'Kay, see you then. Bye!"

"Bye."

Hanging up, you squealed into your pillow and then looked at the time. It was only 3:00 pm, so you'd have to be ready by 3:30.

As you rushed to get ready you wondered where Bakugou was taking you. He didn't say you had to dress a certain way, so you went for a casual and comfortable outfit.

He didn't seem like the type to take you somewhere extravagant randomly, so you were sure it'd be somewhere that was pretty relaxed.

After getting ready you noticed you had a few minutes left to spare so you decided to go check on the plants you had around your home.

You had about three plants in your home, all of them ranging from different sizes and types. You didn't have many plants in your home because you already had many at your work place.

You attended to each of your plants needs after they had told you what it is they wanted. One wanted more sunlight, the other was thirsty, and one was just fine.

You looked at your phone to check if Bakugou had texted you, and luckily he did. He had sent a text saying he was outside waiting for you.

You smiled and slipped your shoes on, saying bye to Cheerios and your plants like you always did.

Sliding into the passenger seat you said, "Hey stranger. How've you been?"

He smiled lightly, "Sorry I haven't been able to see you. Work keeps me busy but I'm good, you?"

"I get it. I've been good too though. Has anything interesting happened at work?"

Bakugou brought a hand up to his jaw and stroked it while he thought. "Eh, nothing major. I did stop a bank robbery with Red Riot a few days ago though."

You gasped and turned to him, "A whole bank robbery? I feel like that's such a stereotypical situation... you know? Like, you just see it in movies all the time."

"I know, which is why people usually don't attempt to rob a whole bank" He laughed, "But clearly these guys were idiots."

You laughed at that. "I can't even imagine trying to rob a bank. I mean - where would you even start?

The two of you continued to talk on the way to your destination, which he actually told you about this time. He said that there was a farmers market happening nearby and he actually went there pretty often, so he thought he should invite you along with him which you thought was sweet.

When you arrived it was just as you expected and it seemed to be quite busy.

"Wow I can't believe I've never been here before! The decorations are so cute." You said in awe, once you both started walking around.

"You wanna go get food? There's this old dude that sells the best takoyaki at his stand." Bakugou said as you two walked through the crowd.

You nodded, "Yeah I'm down. Takoyaki sounds really good right now - oh and after can we stop at that stand?" You asked, pointing to a stand that was selling crocheted stuffed animals.

He nodded and then held out a hand, "So you don't get lost in the crowd."

Yeah right.

You smiled and grabbed his hand, letting him lead the way to the takoyaki stand. Once you got there you met the old man he mentioned and talked to him for a bit. You found out that he made the takoyaki himself and he'd been doing it for over thirty years!

When it came to paying, Bakugou kept insisting that he would pay for your food but you stood your ground and told him you were just fine paying for your own.

He grumbled about it for a while after but eventually got over it. You two then went over to the stand you mentioned earlier, and looked at the stuffed animals for sale.

"They're so cute! I think I'm gonna buy one." You said to Bakugou.

He hummed, "You should get that one." and pointed to a white jumbo bunny wearing pink overalls.

"You're so right." You said and placed your food down so you could grab the bunny and check for a price tag.

Your eyes widened at the price.

"This thing is sixty bucks!" You whispered to him.

"What? Lemme see." He said and grabbed the bunny from you to look at the tag. His eyebrows raised a bit at the price. "Tsk, I can make this shit myself."

"You crochet?" You asked.

"Sometimes..." He said and looked away.

You laughed and then grabbed the bunny back from him. "Well, I guess it's goodbye bunny. You're just too expensive." You said and sadly put the bunny back where it once was, making sure to grab your takoyaki.

"Wanna go sit under that tree?" You asked and pointed to a large tree with a bench underneath it.

Bakugou nodded and you began making your way over to the bench.

Once you got there you both continued to eat your food in a comfortable silence. Looking up at the tree, you used your quirk and listened.

"This tree has seen a lot of things." You smiled.

"Whaddya mean?" He asked around his food.

"My quirk. I just used it and listened to the tree. She said she's seen a lot of interesting things in this spot, good and bad." You said and listened some more, "Proposals are the most common."

Bakugou smiled, "The tree really said all that?"

"Yeah! Trees have such interesting stories because they've been around so long." You said excitedly.

He looked up at the tree, "I guess I never thought about it like that."

After some more talking and eating, Bakugou offered to throw away your trash for you, which you accepted. He told you to wait at the bench for him, so you did.

It was taking him a bit longer than you thought it would so you began to worry a bit. As you were biting your lip in thought, a touch on your shoulder made you jump.

"Didn't mean to scare ya."

You placed a hand on your chest, "Jeez! You walk so quietly I didn't hear anything."

Bakugou smirked, "Here, I got you something."

He handed you a large, brown paper bag and watched as you looked inside.

"The bunny!" You gasped and pulled it out of the bag. "But it was so expensive, why did you buy this?!"

He shrugged, "You wanted it, and I guess it's okay to look at."

You looked at the bunny intensely and rubbed its head.

"It's so cute... Thank you so much." You said.

"It's not problem, just make sure to name it after me." He joked.

You clicked your tongue and smacked him with the bunny.

...

You guys had ended up spending the rest of the day together, finally leaving the farmers market around 8:30 pm.

When Bakugou pulled up to your house, you hesitated before getting out.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, um. Do you wanna come inside?" You asked quietly.

He smiled the widest you've ever seen him smile and said, "Yeah. Will your plants be okay with it?"

"Har har." You said while rolling your eyes and got out the car, leading him into your house.

next chapter

authors note

sorry for the little cliff hanger :3

also, here's the bunny katsuki bought reader

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329

(those in pink couldn't be tagged)

[everlastingdream]

Part 1 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

"What brought you there, Supergirl?"

If Kara couldn't hear Samantha's skyrocketed pulse, she would've really thought that CEO expected her to arrive. Lena curiously looked at the office, trying to remember anything.

"I'm here to talk about Lena Luthor", Kara said as respectfully as possible, but Samantha still stiffened in her chair. It seems she contemplated shutting the window right into the hero's floating face.

"I don't think I'll do Lena any better if I talk with you. I'm worried enough without a Super after her".

Lena swiftly turned around. She went to stand right in front of the woman, searching something in her face.

"You misunderstood, I'm not-"

"It hard to misunderstand a Super asking about Luthor", Samantha stubbornly clenched her jaw. "Lena is already in the hands of her psycho mother. If you want to help just to drag Lena into your families' agenta then don't bother. I'll find her myself".

Kara gaped, still floating outside a window. Of course, there were people who didn't like her, but not many was ready to express it right into her face.

Lena, who was still inside, studying Samantha's expression, suddenly smiled broadly. She turned to Kara, beaming:

"I remember! It's Sam! We were working together, but she's a friend. She looked after me when I was overworking. And I know her daughter, Ruby. She's the only trustworthy person here!"

Lena laughed. Kara could tell that besides being happy to see her friend, Lena was more happy to remember something. Her genuine smile was a beautiful sight.

"Em, Sam? I will explain, but can you maybe open the window?"

"I don't think we are close enough to call each other by nicknames", Sam coldly said. Kara and Lena winced.

"Of course, miss Arias, but I-" Kara sighed. How can you say to someone that you see ghosts? "I just want to find Lena".

"And I don't think you were that close to Lena to call her that", Sam bristled.

Kara started to feel irritated too. It was her who can see Lena. It was her, who made the whole secret goverment agency searching for Lena. So who Samantha Arias thought she was to decide if she was close to Lena or not.

"Kara, please", Lena floated outside the window to stop near Kara. Despite their two flights she still pointedly didn't look down and was able to stay calm only when Kara was talking to her. "She's just worried".

Kara huffed, interrupting her and Sam's glaring to look at Lena.

"Well, I do too! You are out there, and we need her to look for the records of your emergency button, but we stuck here arguing if I can call you by your name! Which I totally can because you said I can, so who she is to say that I-"

Lena's chuckle interrupted Kara's angry whisper babbling. She looked fondly on superhero, before patting her on the cheek. Well, trying. She's kind of patted the air less than an inch away from Kara's face.

"Of course you can, darling. I prefer that you do, actually". Lena's wink made all Kara's fighting spirit disappear. Only to be replaced by the warm feeling that made her blush and straighten up at the same time.

When she remembered that Supergirl was kind of in the middle of conversation, Kara turned to the window to find Sam looking at her strangely.

"If I tell you Lena's password, will you believe that I can see her?"

As one can expect Sam was devastated when she heard that Kara can see Lena's ghost. At first she refused to believe that Kara was telling truth. But Lena's password to her personal files (including data from emergency button) and some meaningless for Kara but clearly familiar to Sam words, CEO was finally convinced. Then she refused to believe that Lena was most likely... not alive. And, well, Kara could understand that.

Sam and Lena talked by themselves for a bit before they left her to gather and transfer data about place where Lena's emergency device was last active. Kara didn't listen to them to respect their privacy, but she got the main idea when Sam returned with red eyes and Lena was more quiet than usual.

"Please, send the information like that", Kara passed to Sam paper with instructions Winn provided. They couldn't afford to lose data or have it intercepted after all. "I'll keep you informed. And take this watches for you and your daughter. If you press it there, I or Superman will hear it. Just in case".

Sam nodded gratefully.

"Be safe, Sam", Lena whispered as they took off. Sam's silent form in the window slowly disappeared from the view.

/ / / / / / / / / /

Winn's chatter in DEO was heard from the balcony even without Kara's superhearing. He was telling Alex about something, excitedly waving his hands around.

Lena gave a weak smile, when he knocked off some of his instuments. Kara considered letting him eat her pudding he's been eyeing all morning for this accomplishment.

"If you trap Lena inside this machine of yours just for the sake of reenacting the Ghost Busters, I'll leave you atop of Catco".

Winn turned to her on his chair, clearly affronted. But before he could retort, Kara said to the empty space beside her:

"No, Lena. Don't encourage him. Even if you are curious, I won't risk you being stuck inside this".

Winn saw her interacting with Lena for the first time. It was... a strange sight.

"I like her more than you already", he said instead, enjoying Kara's rolling eyes. "Thank you, miss Luthor!"

Kara grumbled, but still conveyed Lena's permission to call her by name.

"So, Lena it is! I'm Winn, by the way. Since it's not like someone will introduse us", he looked at Danvers sisters with accusation. Alex raised her hands.

"It's not like I was introduced too".

Before Winn could retort, J'onn entered the room, giving them strict look.

"Let's start, mister Winslow."

"Yes, sure. After listening to the whole story, I thought that perhaps Kara's ability to see Lena is a part of her kryptonian powers. We still need to understand why she's seeing Lena only though, but for now it's not really important. So I went through the information on Kara and J'onn's sight and hearing since he's not able to interact Lena, and tried to take a guess what is responsible for seeing ghosts. So here it is!" He put small metallic box on the table. "This little one will stabilize Lena's frequencies in the room enough for us, non-kryptonians, to interact with her".

He pressed something on his tablet, and his small device started to emit faint noise.

Kara saw Lena's image flicker a bit and got ready to blast device if something went even slightly wrong.

"Hi?"

From Winn and Alex's gasps Kara understood that they too saw Lena's shy smile.

[trans-axolotl]

Can I ask what things have helped you learn to live with psychosis?

Sure! It's definitely been a journey for me, so this is probably going to be a long post lol. I'm also going to add the disclaimer that this is about about me and what worked for me--I don't think this is going to be helpful for everyone and I don't think that everyone needs to think about their psychosis/altered states in the same way that I think about mine.

When I first starting experiencing it, psychosis was very disruptive and incredibly distressing to me. Now, at this point in my life, although my psychosis is often inconvenient or annoying, it generally is not distressing or majorly disrupting my life in the way it used to. a lot of credit for this is due to places like Project LETS, the Hearing Voices Network, etc, that let me see for the first time different ways of thinking about and coping with altered states. The medical model was more harmful than anything for me: it left me feeling like i had no agency over my own experiences, and that the only option the rest of my life would be to submit to varying degrees of surveillance and control with no hope of ever having moments of joy again.

For me, the first step for living with my psychosis was to approach my hallucinations/delusions with a lot of curiosity, and to build up my own picture of what my experience of psychosis was like. I started asking myself a lot of questions:

What do the hallucinations/delusions I experience look like? What do they feel like in my body? What emotions do they bring up for me? What's happening in my life when I'm having more frequent hallucinations/delusions? How do I feel when people challenge me on my hallucinations/delusions? Are there people/places/things that my hallucinations/delusions are happening more frequently around? What parts of my hallucinations/delusions bring me distress? Are there any parts of my hallucinations/delusions that I like? Are there things that help making dealing with hallucinations/delusions easier?

The way I wrote these questions out makes it sound like I had a lot of insight about the fact that I was hallucinating and delusion and makes it sound like I was really methodical about this, which is absolutely not the case. A lot of this was me just like, scribbling in journals and google docs about my theories about angels and my favorite angels and lists of poisons and on and on and on. A lot of the most helpful insights were random ones that I found when I was completely delusional, not in the periods when I had insight and was trying to map all this out.

But overall, what I was able to figure out was that in general, most of my psychosis was associated with one of two themes:

feeling unsafe and worried about dangerous threats

feeling controlled and unable to exercise my autonomy.

This made a lot of sense to me, given my own personal history with trauma and the traumatic things actively happening in my life at the time. When that clicked it felt like so much suddenly made sense, and I was able to get a lot more of an understanding of why certain things felt so distressing and urgent. Having a delusion that all my food is being poisoned creates a level of paranoia and stress that is pretty unreasonable and unhelpful as an adult who buys all their own food. Having that same level of paranoia and stress as a child who had to live in a dangerous situation without any control? A lot more helpful and reasonable for surviving. There were so many hallucinations/delusions (bugs/people in my walls/monsters and blood/etc) that I could clearly track all the ways that they did kind of function as a protective strategy for me in traumatic situations by raising my level of alarm and awareness, but now just caused me so much fucking stress.

At this point, it felt like I had a pretty okay grasp on some of the reasons I was experiencing psychosis, and then wanted to think about how I could actually then cope with it. First I identified all the things that weren't working and instead were just making me pissed off and making things worse.

Logical attempts to reality check me just made me feel more stressed, paranoid, and often made the hallucinations worse and the delusions bigger.

Before, this hadn't made any sense to me, but after identifying those underlying emotions around safety and autonomy it made so much fucking sense. People reality checking me, or even me trying to use logic against hallucinations with myself, didn't do anything to validate my emotions or meet that underlying need. Instead it just made me feel like I wasn't being listened to or believed, that I didn't have anyone I could trust, and that I had to be more on guard, which just perpetuated the whole cycle!

So for me, I realized that any coping skills would need to be centered around validating my emotions and meeting my underlying need for safety and/or autonomy. Practically, what this looked like for me was making a bunch of documents that are titled things like "Tips for if there's bugs inside of you" "Things you like to remember when you're talking to angels" etc etc etc. I think what really helped this work for me is that I didn't title them things like "how to cope with delusions about bugs" because I know that when I'm delusional, reading something like that is just going to piss me off and make me feel like I'm being called a liar. In those documents I write a lot of affirmations for my emotions and then write out a list of specific coping skills, organized from least chaotic/risky to most chaotic/risky. Nothing gets me more pissed off when I'm in a bad space then people trying to get me to use therapeutic coping skills when I don't want to, so I knew that I wanted to include a wide range of out-of-the-box coping skills. I'll share a few from my list of coping skills for increasing autonomy that I put in my "tips for if there's bugs inside of you document."

eat/shower/sleep/talk to someone in real life/pain meds

redecorate your room

shoplift

cut your hair

work on a project like embroidery or knitting or origami where you have to create something with your hands

choose a random place outside and go there

try some DBT/ACT/RODBT skills and see if they help you feel just 2% better, enough that you can do something else that you hate less like distractions.

distract (talk with friends, watch tv, read)

choose a random place outside and go there

make a lot of noise and kick things over in your room

break things

self harm (following my harm reduction plan)

drugs/alcohol

if i'm doing well enough, i try to first use coping skills that don't also have mental or physical risks for myself, but if i need to, I give myself permission to cope in whatever ways meet my needs in the moment and try to let go of some of the shame associated with riskier coping skills. I also have talked about psychosis openly with my trusted friends who know what kinds of support are helpful and what shit just makes me pissed off and frightened.

Overall, this has helped make psychosis a LOT less distressing for me, and over time also has made it happen slightly less. About half the time these days I have insight that what's happening are delusions or hallucinations which has helped make it easier to remember to cope. These days, psychosis mostly happens when my body is under a lot of stress (no sleep/seizure recovery/not eating/injured), and also sort of acts an alarm bell to me that somethings going on in my life that I might not have noticed, either in terms of my physical health or in terms of stressful situations or emotions that I'm not ready to think about or process.

That's one of the reasons that my psychosis is so meaningful to me, to be honest. I honestly feel really grateful that my psychosis gave me a way to externalize and experience my emotions before I was ready or able to experience them and feel them in my body. I think having hallucinations/delusions helped protect me at certain times in my life while still helping me acknowledge in a certain way that I was so fucking angry and grieving and hurt and in pain. I think that helped keep me alive long enough to get to a point where I could start to process and unpack trauma without it completely overwhelming me, or without convincing myself that I needed to be fine at any cost. And maybe it's strange to say I'm grateful for that, but I am.

so. that's most of what has worked for me. The way I wrote it out made it seem super simple and straightforward, but in reality it was absolutely nothing like that. It was years of a lot of chaos and feeling upset so much of the time and feeling absolutely clueless and my loved ones feeling concerned and writing things down and forgetting that I wrote things down and having the same problem over and over agai. just overall was so messy and not at all a linear process like I wrote about it here. I absolutely still have plenty of times where I just fuck off and forget I've ever thought about coping and just go around with hallucinations disrupting my entire day, and plenty of times it's still stressful.

And also again: this is about me and what's worked for me. My biggest advice for other people about coping with psychosis is a lot less about the specifics of a process or exactly what coping skills to use. Instead I think it's a lot more about approaching with curiosity first, just giving yourself the space to explore your psychosis on your own terms, to try things out, to build your own relationship with psychosis and how it fits into your life, and to affirm yourself as someone who does have agency about how you want to think, talk, feel, and cope with your own psychosis/altered states.

hope that was helpful and/or interesting anon, feel free to let me know if you have any other psychosis/altered states questions!

[thousand-winters]

You know what I find really, really funny?

You know how Reigen drops his "oh, I don't think anybody would like me if they saw the real me" on Serizawa (that definitely was not on his job's description)? Obviously there's a whole thing there with how he sees himself but how in the end he stops lying to Mob and confesses the truth to him.

And then... he kinda just stops there.

In the spin-off he doesn't tell the truth to Tome until he thinks he has no other choice because she's putting herself in danger by working under the wrong assumption that he's a psychic, and while doing so, he asks her not to tell Serizawa. He was honest with Mob, but that was with him and only him. His default mode is still lying and hiding.

And the thing is obviously these people he has surrounded himself with, purposefully or accidentally, don't like him because they think he's an esper —at this point I don't think he's fooling even half of them, frankly—, or even because of his whole... energetic, over the top persona. They like him because of the kind of person he is, whether he's keeping his whole salesman attitude or whether he's a bit quieter and less self-assured.

Now, it's kinda easy to see why he would think he has to keep that up, initially he presented himself to Mob as this wise mentor figure, half of the other people he knows are kids for which he feels the responsibility to be a reliable adult figure, and then there are cases like Serizawa and the ex-Scars who do hold him in high regard and see him with a certain degree of admiration, all of that sort of tied with his fake psychic status.

And so it's very amusing to me that the one person who could show him VERY clearly that people care about him regardless of all of that is... Ritsu.

Because here's the thing, he was jealous of Reigen to some degree since he was someone Mob could confide in, unlike Ritsu due to the distance that had formed between them after the incident. And I think part of his irritation with Reigen was definitely that he was so evidently (to him anyway) a fraud, so that put Ritsu pre-awakening of his powers and Reigen at the same level and yet... Mob always went to Reigen for advice and guidance. It's very understandable for him to have been annoyed considering that.

Through the story it's more than evident that Ritsu is very, very aware that Reigen is a fraud, and though he's open with his distaste, at some point it feels a bit more like a normal kind of distaste. Reigen might have his morals and principles as a fraud, but he's one nonetheless, plus his personality doesn't mesh particularly well with Ritsu, and quite honestly? If I were 13yo and had to interact with someone like Reigen, I think I would be feeling a good amount of second hand embarrassment that ends up in annoyance.

But Ritsu doesn't really hate Reigen. He's comically annoyed by him, sure, but it's more than obvious he doesn't hate him.

When push comes to shove, he never wishes any actual ill will toward Reigen, he helps pull him away from Ishiguro in 7th Division Arc, for example, and when he goes to face Toichiro to help Mob, Ritsu is the one showing visible concern for what's going on when they see the explosion and the fire from down below, with his little "Reigen-san..." (as a sidenote, I love how the English dub does this with the "please, be okay").

My favorite example of this by far is Separation Arc, because Ritsu has genuine reasons to be pissed at Reigen this time around, if he sort of gathered that he mistreated Mob, and yet what he does is... he watches the press conference. It isn't even because of Mob, he's not sitting down with him or even watching with his parents or anything, it's just him, he had to have made the active choice to watch. And he could be vindictive and it would be such a reasonable posture to take because, again, Reigen was a goddamn jerk to his brother and the situation snowballed from there, but he isn't, he's visibly concerned for him.

That is NOT a boy who doesn't care, much less one who hates Reigen.

And it's so funny to me that the one person who could show Reigen all of those fears he has about that side of him he hates being a deal breaker for the people around him is also the one who makes faces at the idea of going to stay over at his apartment.

[void-star]

I'm starting to get the impression that people don't actually know what a trauma trigger is or how to identify them.

It is not feeling uncomfortable or disgusted with a concept or subject.

It is an activation of your sympathetic nervous system (activates fight or flight) over things your brain has associated strongly with a traumatic event.

The things your brain associates with the traumatic event don't always have to make sense: it can be as innocuous as a certain song/ringtone or notes from a cologne/perfume, or as direct and obvious as the sight of a weapon.

The important thing here is that it's a moderate to severe body experience in response to something that is not immediately dangerous to you and reminds you of a traumatic experience you have had in some way.

When you know and understand this, you can start to catch the physiological signs of the activation of your sympathetic nervous system. It's helpful to recognize both to calm your body down when you're not in immediate danger, and to recognize how this activation can affect other areas of your life.

I say that last part because it shuts down a lot of cognition, makes you stop thinking clearly, because it serves the purpose of trying to get you immediately out of danger.

My therapist still does a kind of explicit mirroring with me a lot, where rather than focusing on the thoughts and the fear that's on the surface, she brings my attention to my body: tightness in muscles, narrowing of vision, increased awareness of sounds/smells, constriction of the chest.

I bring this up because, first of all, it seems like some people use "trigger" to by synonymous with feeling uncomfortable or disgusted, to ride on your concern for their wellbeing in order to control your behavior. I don't like that.

Second of all, it also seems like other people are focusing on the occurrence of a trigger as a hallmark of something being harmful. Like once you're triggered, you're hurt and damaged yet again, and there's no coming back from that.

This is both untrue and disingenuous. I don't think it's particularly useful for trauma survivors. It's important to recognize that triggers are the residual effects of the things that harmed us that we couldn't do anything about. Triggers are manageable and they are not an indication that you're being harmed again. They are the body's memory of the harm, and its commitment to preventing you from being harmed again by latching onto a pattern it thinks will help you be safe if there's a next time.

You HAVE to learn to rationalize this if you want to feel safer, more comfortable, and in control of your world. You deserve that.

You don't deserve to sit inside of the intense fear and lack of understanding that comes with not investigating your own experience, or the way it can box you in to see danger and harm and abuse all around you.

And if you don't learn that, you're going to end up believing the only thing that can keep you safe is the elimination of everything that reminds you of what you went through... which is harmful to other people.

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

Hi, I still have so many feelings about this, I will never shut up. I also made a gifset out of it because watching the video wasn't enough, i need to memorize every pixel.

(These gifs are free to download & use, they literally took me 5 minutes, so... cheers~)

"It is your job to f-" still haunts me. Also the way light falls on his face exactly when he fumbles is like him getting exposed. Shining a light on his fakery so the others see through it? And then he retreats back into the shadow trying to hide again, but does so only partially? Amazing.

The quick look up at Fang, he's so adorable🥺 i think for a moment there he actually considers admiting something's wrong but backs out of it and right back into defense. The way he freezes at the end sends shivers down my spine. it's so personal to me, Con, staaahp, fr! Also we get the "unhand me" line, or rather [if you touch me now i will start crying and that's embarrassing so don't touch me] That's how i see it.

Now we get to the good shit. Looking up trying not to cry. Avoiding any and all eye contact. His fckn lips shaking. You can clearly see that he's broken by the fact they've even noticed THIS. That expression is like a defeated "oh fuck me". Him being off focus makes this bit even worse.

Actually I was looking at this bit a lot and it almost seems like he doesn't know what Fang is trying to do at first? Like he was defensive because he didn't realise Fang was going in for a hug? Or maybe it's a reflex for anything coming from behind. He's a fighter, after all.

He looks ahead, approximately where Archie and Jim are standing as if to see their reactions or maybe seek help?! But then you can see the moment he understands - he turns his head back towards Fang and leans into it, with a hint of disbelief on his face.

God, the loose strand of hair adds so much to that delicious skrunklyness he has going on. He's so pretty...

In this gif it's clear he's leaning into Fang a lot, even actively pressing his head against him. He could've easily turned away or pulled away, but didn't. He WANTS to be comforted. He WANTS to be held. The way he scans over Frenchie as if checking what he's about to do, I'm suspecting he like. Put a hand on him somewhere or something of the sort. I am so unwell from this-

For the last time he tries to produce words, but it comes out as more of a moan than anything, so he gives up and bites his lip. (im loosing my sanity, Con, what have you done)

Also Frenchie's pout is my H2O He literally went :c

Izzy looks over to Frenchie again as if to verify he's not there to mock him and when it turns out that no. He actually wants to comfort him. Izzy fully looses it and lets out the most gut wrenching puppy dog skrunkly whimper ever produced by a human man. It must mean so much to him... Those last few micro expressions are killing me. He looks up again as if to say "oh god they mean it. They don't think im stupid for this, they're actually taking me seriously" And he can't believe it, he's so dumbfounded that poor guy.

What if this was his first hug in ages? I wouldn't be surprised...

Im breaking my own heart with this why do i do this-

[alexanderwales]

I use Windows Night Light to help my sleep schedule, and it sucks so much. Half the time it doesn't even turn on. When that happens, I have to manually go click "Turn Off" (even though it was clearly not on), then click "Turn On" again, at which point it works.

So I went to go see whether there was a fix for this, and I saw all kinds of inconsistent suggestions, and I tried some of them, and it didn't actually fix anything. There are complications that come with having certain graphics cards, or drivers, and ...

Alright, look, I was a software engineer for many years, I know that sometimes things are more complicated than they seem. However, I cannot fathom why "adjust monitor colors at X hour" is so difficult that there are pages upon pages of complaints about it not working. It should work in the vast majority of cases, and what shouldn't fix it is just clicking a button to stop it and then clicking a button to start it again.

What I'm saying is that I'm in the market for a program that will do this very simple job, since apparently the bad behavior of this one is something that's just not getting fixed.

flux is not it. While I'm exasperated by the continual issues with Night Light, I am actively angry with flux. I live fairly far north by American standards. Sunset for me, right now, is 4:30PM. I like to have normal colors on my computer when I am, e.g. watching a show, playing a game, looking at pictures, etc. I only really need the warm colors in the three or four hours before I go to sleep. Flux is free software, so I try to keep my cool, but "please let me set my time manually rather than by location" is their single most requested feature, and every time they say "oh actually flux is for having your screen be in harmony with the natural environment, you don't need that". Maybe this is just steadfast refusal to engage in scope creep, but I've read a bunch of forum messages asking for the same feature that I want, and the answers are always "I don't understand why you would want that" or something equally infuriating in spite of how many times someone says "I'm a Finnish graphic designer with weird working hours" or equivalent.

The standard workaround seems to be telling flux that you're located in a different part of the world than you actually are, but this is terrible UI, and you would also need to change it in accordance with the time of year unless you spent some time figuring out the correct spot that you don't live which works year-round for you.

(I saw another hilarious workaround on the flux forums where a guy set up a scheduled Windows task to kill and restart flux at specific times.)

So I hate flux, in spite of my commitment to not hate free software that did not cost me anything and has never asked for anything from me.

[goddess-of-bubblegum]

Hate annons? Really hon? [Aka my opinion with new evidence] (y'all might need a snack for this)

okay, mod speaking. So. I know I said I didn't want any drama on this blog.

BUT THE MOMENT I FOUND OUT MY FRIEND WAS STILL GETTING HATE ANNONS , IM GOING FULL ON DETECTIVE MODE!

This post is about @/unhinged-waterlilly, and oooh boy am I going to be getting so much hate for this. But. I am fine with hate asks. Just don't be a coward and don't put annon on. I am a minor, and if you decide to harass me about helping a friend, here we go.

My points against her:

1 she sent, and still sends hate annons (which hurts his mental health)

2 she accused jacks bf (freddy) as being fake

So. I saw a post a while back where "lily" said things about the jack situation, and I thought it was fair. UNTIL I REACHED THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THAT JACK DIDN'T DESERVE ANYTHING HE HAS look, I know that he hurt you with the AU , it hurt me too, but going so far to say that he doesn't deserve anything he has??? That's petty and mean.

Not to mention that he was in a shit mental state at the time he made the AU. Which obviously does not excuse anything, but it atleast explains it.

also, onto evidence number 1:

HATE ANNONS;

Now, this is just one of 3 hate annons Jack got this week. Yes, Jack is aware that he has hurt people, yes he is actively striving to better, so sending these hate annons won't help Jack not being , and I quote : "a depressed little attention seeking bitch" he has owned up to his mistakes, and I've advised him to put the explanation on his blog. And since he is try I ng to be better, he is focusing on himself, his mental health, and moving on.

BECAUSE MOVING ON IS HEALTHY

Me and jacks others moots are aware that no one forgot what he did , that he hurt people. But all that you can achieve by hurting him is a short adrenaline rush, that won't be worth it coke a few days. He is actively trying to become a better person

ALSO I am aware that since this is an annon, it's hard to prove this was actually lilly. But if you were to compare this to her other posts about Jack, you'd see it is very close.

Numero 2

ACUSSING FREDDY OF BEING FAKE:

There were multiple posts accusing Freddy, jacks bf, of not being a real person. Now. All of jacks moots know he is real, due to Jack making posts about him, and him telling us about him and what happened. And honestly? It's plausible that Freddy knew how to use tumblr , because it only took me a day to figure it out

Okay, and now this:

okay, let me get this straight. What jack did was wrong. We all agree on that , including Jack. But he was in a shit mental state while doing it, and he wasn't thinking clearly. Jack is trying to improve, Jack is trying to better himself, Jack is moving on and like a few posts say we all should.

But we can't truly move on 'till Jack stops getting hate, till we apologise and understand and hear out, not necessarily forgive his actions

ALSO

From: @eligha-child-of-hades

A while ago when I recently started this account I got an ask with a link. The link led to @/unhinged-waterlily account and their intro post which had something about the MISTAKE that Jack made.

But with the ask, I didn't click it so I answered with a; ?

Bc I don't trust random links.

They sent another ask with the same link saying this exact thing; 'I suggest you read it. Better to know who you interact with.'

She says this, but she fails to inform others that she's hate bombing and hurting Jack.

Woukd you rather rp with someone whose trying to change? Or someone whi is causing someone more harm?

I'll be getting hate for this. I know I will be harassed and sent hate annons. But it will be worth it. If he can move on, but you can't, if you hold on to anger, and he doesn't.

Then aren't you also doing bad things?

@sillypuppetmeister @braydons-world @penelope-is-waiting @bast-the-best26 @reyna4ever @gaygirldoodles

[rorah]

The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.

Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...

Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!

As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.

With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).

It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.

It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.