#you can’t tell me she’s straight
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denial is a river in egypt
#caitlin clark#wlw#lesbian#lickety split#riding the tuna boat#you can’t tell me she’s straight#like there’s no way
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regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)
#CHALICE OF THE GODS WAS SO GOOD#AUAUUGHHHUHGHHHGHHHSH#i was laughing out loud every few minutes for like 5 hours straight#this was a book of BITS#(spoilers in tags from here on out)#i keep thinking abt percy’s river rage tantrum and how he came out of it to annabeth saying ‘yeah he’s scary sometimes when he gets worked#up. do you want more tea?’#COMEDY#the entire bit with him hiding under the pastry cart. the thing about annabeth having a secret fanclub and percy’s not even phased.#THE HIMBO JUICE THING. RICK RIORDAN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERES A HOOTERS BUT FOR MEN AND SMOOTHIES#annabeth apparently specifically won’t bake clue cupcakes. and this is happening less than 2 years after the famous sixteenth birthday blue#cupcake that she and tyson made for him. the one that looked like a blue brick that they are with their hands.#<— not inconsistency. comedy.#percy’s whole thing with playing with the snakes with the rainbow as he’s fully prepared to be eaten😭😭😭😭😭he is SO unserious#the entire mt olympus scene where he keeps getting distracted from what he’s doing bc he can’t stop roasting zues in his head????#PERCY I LOVE YOU#ugh i forgot how much i adore percy pov.#pov of not knowing what’s going on ever. pov of being distracted every 10 seconds. he’s literally so real#i thought eudora was hilarious#the whole concept that percy has to do this at all. i think it’s so funny#ppl who are mad that the premise of the quests is stupid. like yeah. percy jackson has a stupid life.#when annabeth broke through his window at 4am to sit on his bed and talk about rocks and trees. everything#percy not knowing the names of anyone at his school or on his swim team#when the god showed up at his cafeteria and percy just ate his lasagna sandwich before talking to him😭😭😭😭that child is TIRED#i loved the light graffiti in the tunnel. when percy wrote their initials i SCREAMED#WHEN. WHEN HE ASCENDED AND TURNED INTO RAINBOW LIGHT WITH THE POWER OF WANTING TO TELL ANNABETH HE LOVED HER.#I DIED.#THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#AUGH i am weak#pjo
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there’s a lot of posts on how white suburbs are deeply awful + filled w ppl unable to conceptualize a world outside their own bubble + steeped in racism etc. which obviously is true and all but as someone who’s personally seen many suburbs filled w/ diff ethnic groups (not functionally diverse suburbs just for example suburb 1 filled entirely w chinese immigrants, 2 filled w only pakistanis, etc) the overall results aren’t much better. like at the end of the day the issue lies not in the whiteness of suburban residents but rather the way their lifestyles (car dependancy -> can’t go anywhere else/see other ppl, have never sat on the bus and seen regular ppl etc) allow them to genuinely live their entire lives in an extremely minuscule bubble of homogenous ppl who look & live (esp economically!!!) exactly like them
#other problems for example include. well. i really have nothing to say other than brampton ontario#and ofc fearmongering about the outside world is a huge aspect of the suburban lifestyle. we like to call true crime such a white woman#thing but tell me have you ever seen a canadian brown pocket suburban desi woman. let me tell you she does NOT let her 20 yr old children#out of her sight!!!! pisses me the absolute fuck off#i still can’t get over the time i was talking to some ppl in a gc and every single american in there (brown + grew up in the suburbs)#thought age 12 was WAYYY too young for a kid to be walking to school alone. it was so ?!?!!???#and only me + another friend (british) were like you guys r fucking insane#<- to be clear this was like in a hypothetical where schools were close enough to walk to and everything. they straight up thought 12 yr#olds couldn’t cross the dsmn street by themselves#.txt
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I love when I tell people I’m allergic to nuts and they’re like “all nuts?” and it’s like. Well. I haven’t tried every nut know to man. But so far it’s like 6/6 so yeah I’m just gonna throw it out there that I’m allergic to all nuts in lieu of going out of my way to find the one nut I may not be allergic to by process of elimination.
#this post is brought to you by I finally have a Nutella substitute#something I never had as a child#that bothered me enough that when my friends were all eating Nutella and going mmm Nutella I was like fuck you all give me that#I’m slightly less allergic to Nutella than anything probably by process of it being the furthest thing from a straight-up nut I’ve tried#but yeah#I *think* I’ve (accidentally) tried peanut(butter); walnuts; almonds; and hazelnut (that was intentional)#and I know I can’t eat peanutS and cashews and pistachios without trying them#chestnuts are a mystery. can’t tell if I’m allergic to them just by being near them like I can with other nuts#I don’t know what other nuts are out there#cut to my best friend getting annoyed I called all resses resses peices and she was like these aren’t resse pieces they’re resse CUPS#and I’m like in what world is that a distinction I have to make bestie#anyway#personal
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“There is no fanfic on Stephs treatment I have checked” that’s like the whole point.
#I’m not saying ur wrong bc it’s not canon#I’m saying ur wrong bc ur perpetuating the misogyny that got u there in the first place#and yeah imma take it there it IS that deep to me sorry#like this isn’t like a diff in opinion on an arc or smth#this is quite literally the bigotry that fandoms supposed to be an escape from manifesting itself again with a rainbow flag over it it’s so#like first of all not that serious but concerning to me is getting into smth without knowing the source material#u don’t need to know the exact timeline of events and which specific Batmobile Bruce had in every era duh#that’d be hypocritical to say I read character to character screw the timeline lmao#but it’s like. ur telling me u adore Dick Grayson and have never picked up NTT?#u wanna analyze the queer coding in Tim’s character but you’ve never read his og robin run?#u wanna talk about Damian’s character growth but you’ve only read Batman and Robin 2020s?#u ADORRRRE steph and cass and you haven’t even read batgirls#and that’s like nonissues#my issues are u wanna discuss how Barbara is actually so cold and cruel to dick for how she handled Catalina and you’ve never read birds of#prey and actually dick never cheated so (this isn’t me being hypocritical if you’ve seen that post I just lowk changed my mind)#or if he did it was justified or whatever#you wanna talk about how Jason and Roy are soulmates and you can’t tell me a single thing besides he’s an archer a father and an addict#it’s like ur putting shit out there about these characters and their relationships and you don’t know them#and more people who don’t know them see ur shit and do the same thing#and that’s mid level issue#the BIG issue is that y’all have not unpacked ur racism misogyny or classism enough to do this and then turn around and say ur fixing dc or#whatever. u have not done enough work to speak on Jason or Damian and say they deserve better whilst u water down their anger into smth#palatable and sweet on ur white faves. u don’t get to complain about how there’s not enough about steph and all u do is spread more made up#shit to infantilize tim. and I’m not saying I’ll never read a tim centric fic that’s ooc and stupid and have fun#I do that and I don’t talk about it bc that shit should not be the main writing you find when you look for BATMAN lmao#and even then they HIGHEST problem is that even when people make more content centering the woc poc and yes even WW it still doesn’t get any#traction bc y’all haven’t unpacked as much of ur racism and misogyny as u think u have#making hcs about tim being a Barbie and Jason being a feminist and dick painting his nails is not progressive when Steph and cass are#cardboard cutouts or the vehicles through which the white men discover feminity is ok actually and nothing else#and then Duke and Damian are the token straights or allies. like y’all are so sick lmao
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Should I force myself to talk to women on hinge
#I do not want to#but I am also actively trying to overwrite unrequited attraction that is actually making me ill#so like. idk.#would that count as exposure therapy in this context?#I was introduced to the concept of limerence and I feel a lot more normal about it#not in the sense of ‘I am okay now’#but in the sense of ‘this is a shared and recognized phenomenon that acknowledges the compulsive nature of it#and suggests that it may come from a similar neurological place/process/imbalance as OCD#so instead of well meaning people who don’t grasp how overwhelming these feelings are telling me to just try to date other people#I at least have the validation of ‘you are not crazy because other people have experienced this kind of debilitating intensity too’#and the suggestions for coping with and overcoming limerence include CBT/DBT#which is a lot more structured and helpful than my friends giving me well intentioned advice for something they don’t really understand#like I cannot tell you how much relief this has brought me#I don’t just have a crush on a straight woman and can’t get over it i literally have these non stop intrusive thoughts about her#coupled with the constant mental noise of i know she isn’t interested and i need to be respectful and maintain boundaries#it has literally made me feel like I’m losing my mind or some kind of stalker#but a mental stalker#anyway it has been incredibly unpleasant and upsetting and now I’m focusing on consciously stopping and countering those thoughts#and approaching it the same way as my other intrusive thoughts#also note: I tried to make an appointment with my therapist but she is overbooked and if this does not yield change I might spiral again
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yesterday i crushed my middle three fingers on my right hand w a 40lb window (long story, was emergency) and today, because primarily using my nondominant hand isn’t inconvenient enough, i got a paper cut on the tip of my left pointer. 4/10 fingers not at peak function. i cannot afford to lose any more
#arden.txt#my right pointer is Fucked Up it’s not gonna heal for at least a week#my roommate had to change my bandages bc i straight up couldn’t look at it and yesterday i was straight up shaking abt my bandages/injuries#idk how the blood and gore ppl do it#anyways the story was basically 20 mins after i woke up i heard a fire alarm#go out into the hallway and it’s full of smoke#end up in some poor woman’s apartment#she’s crying and on the phone w our landlord and holding up a window desperately#i get on the phone w the landlord. he tells me i have to shut the door so the main building fire alarms don’t go off#bc the fire department will show up and start busting doors and the sprinklers will go off#so. Very Bad If That Happens#my building is historic so we still have original windows bc he legally can’t change them BUT they’re also different than mine#my apartment has wood windows. i fail to notice in time these are metal#my roommate shows up w this older dude named bill and they start moving fans around and trying to vent the room and hallway#i crush my fingers in the window trying to get a second one open#about two minutes later i realize im about to pass out bc i have mild pots#and the smoke + sudden activity after being asleep 20 mins ago is abt to put me out#and then i notice im bleeding a ton and am basically put on the bench to comfort this poor woman who is still sobbing#bc she lives alone has been doing this for an hour and screaming for help but nobody heard her#which is fucking crazy bc i heard the alarm from inside my apartment and im about as far as you can possibly get from her#we do get the situation under control and the main alarm doesn’t go off so we avoid the worst case scenario#but man. this was too much for a sunday morning
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will my mum ever understand that i don’t like talking (as in it’s really physically difficult) sometimes, especially in the morning, and not get upset with me and make me feel guilty about it despite telling her countless times that this is why? 😃
i just vented in the tags sorry bout that :S
#i wouldn’t say non verbal but pretty close#it’s the same with everything#she just doesn’t understand at all and it’s so draining :/#she constantly makes me feel bad for trying to set boundaries so i just give up#like no i genuinely can’t do some things without help no matter how many times you explain it to me i’m sorry?#no i don’t like that food because the texture makes me want to rip my hair out#i want to try different foods i just have bad anxiety about it and you making comments about it doesn’t help#yes i do need to have headphones or earplugs in most of the time bc sometimes it’s unbearable not to#yes i want to spend time alone in my room bc a) it’s a normal thing to do and b) it’s the one place where i can just be myself n not mask#no i’m not ignoring you you actually just interrupted a conversation i was having with my friends#‘i wish you would talk to me more about things’ I WONDER WHY I DONT#and i can’t even say any of this to her because she’d just cry and tell me what a bad mother she is#like… yea exactly#don’t even get me started on queer stuff#yknow i came out two years ago as not straight#and she hasn’t said a single thing about it since#not even vaguely supportive#i can’t even remember if she told me she still loves me#she said ‘i don’t know what to say’ and left me sobbing by myself#i have to censor myself around them bc i still don’t know how they feel about it#the worst part of it is that i convince myself she isn’t that bad so i just forgive her#and never do anything about it#even now i’m thinking ‘ yea but she genuinely isn’t that badi’ 🤡#i want to leave so bad or at least not be in the same house#but i’m not financially independent yet#and i genuinely don’t know if i could cope living on my own#:’D#just gotta deal with it for now#thank god for this safe space 🙏 love u guys#about the only thing keeping me (partially) sane atm
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#like I’m sorry#I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me#and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard#and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles#but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way#and has never worried about money as a kid#and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course#but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book#like she did everything she can to understand and relate#but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone#because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am#and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping#I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind#but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child#that are impacting by daily life and interactions#and like I feel so fucking alone#and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING#I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops#I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd#especially not therapists of color#I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months#and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me#like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having#flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking#and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me#because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before#like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very#upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis#and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it??#I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary
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Tf? How about no because I did what I did and I don’t regret it
#choices fcl#choices first comes love#choices#choices stories you play#playchoices#like I get you sticking up for your friend#but you’re not about to tell me what to do as if you’re somebody’s parent#also Blake is grown and is at just as much fault as I am#but on a serious note not me being pissed about MC getting called out when Eve does still have a point 😭#but at the same time I hate how much of a coward MC is#girl liked this guy for 10 years and never told him#now she’s sneaking around scheming with her other friend and trying to steal him away from his current gf#and she can’t even own up to what she’s been doing and acts all apologetic when she knows she’s not sorry lmao#disgraceful#can we please just get an MC who acknowledges that what she’s doing is wrong but has no remorse#TNA MC showed remorse occasionally but still acted like she was a saint despite what she said#and this MC just straight up has no backbone at all#it’s ridiculous#choices app#pixelberry studios#pixelberry
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The last season of Dead to me destroyed me like why ugh. It was harder than Beaches and Thelma and Louise combined fuck! Jen x Judy endgame. They were so in love. Why didn’t they get to live out the rest of there lives together with there children and get there happily ever after.
#fuck I can’t#jen x judy#judy x jen#dead to me#like fuck I just finished and I’m sobbing so hard why#they were so in love#like I never thought they would actually fully go there but fuck#they did and not only that but they killed her off#and then went the straight route like wtf why ugh#I hate Jen and Ben so much together it will never work#like Charlie said stay the fuck away from my mom#they have two parents/ moms Jen and Judy#oh god when he called Judy his other mom and Charlie hugged her like fuck#she didn’t even tell him she killed her brother (for Judy) it will never work#anyway jen x Judy endgame#they were in love and in there last scene she confessed her love before losing the love of her life#this season was about grief everyone seeing there loved ones so of course Jen would see her wife Judy#fuck this messed me up good like 😭#shit also we didn’t get our kiss#you can’t recreate the last scene in t&l and not do it#Liz come on it’s gay culture#Liz I expected better from you shame it’s a shame
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got un depressed enough to take the dog on a walk immediately got re depressed and had to lay down after letting mom know she didn’t have to walk her tonight
#personal#oh okay thanks mom i frequently flash back to moments with dad at a worrying rate#came home crying yesterday#i’m losing more and more hair in the shower and i’m trying to tell myself it’s not what i think it is even tho getting worse with my ed#am considering just never reaching out to my eldest brother again bc he 180ed during dads thing or like just showed who is he is under#pressure my jobs awful my car is breaking down the dog needs a tooth pulled and my dad is dead#and my mom can’t just keep it straight on if she likes or hates me#or if i’m selfish or not#and ignores me but not cruelly which is worse actually#like my mom stone walling me bc she’s upset or something? okay#it’s so hard to describe like. she cares but she doesn’t#she’ll bring me food or ask how my day is going#but i try holding a conversation or anything and she can’t acknowledge me or turn away from the tv#not even bc she’s mad!! she’s just. not? interested?#i don’t know how to describe it#and im upset she said i was selfish during dads death but she’s a acting like we’re fine now#how are we good. if you genuinely resent me and how i acted during that period how are we good#i can barely talk to you without getting super angry or really desperately wanting you to just. i don’t know not be you? be normal ?
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“ugh why couldn’t nishiki see that reina was Right There and would’ve made such a good girlfriend–” he’s gay, susan
#easy explanation. next#don’t say a word about yumi. that whole thing smells like comp het to me and you can’t tell me otherwise#not in MY house#my personal self indulgent hc is that reina is a close friend to him because he goes to Serena alot and gets drunk and when he’s drunk he’s.#like. basically a white girl drunk when left to his own devices and ends up crying and spilling all his secrets and emotions and etc and#reina has inevitably learned a LOT about him through that not even really by choice#most relevantly; that he’s got a Lot of repressed gay angst going on in his fucked up little brain#has never mentioned legitimate or deep feelings for any girls before and it doesn’t even seem to cross his mind to do so unless it’s called#out. mostly just ends up lamenting about the complicated feelings he developed over god knows how long for his best friend#that he’ll probably never act on because he’s probably straight and probably sees him in a more familial light and blah blah blah#whether or not reina has feelings for him is up in the air but either way she figures out real quick that oh man. this guy. needs someone#to vent to and make sure he doesn’t drink himself to death or do something stupid when he’s in one of his Lament Spirals#and well. may as well be her#yeah. anyway. I got sorta sidetracked here point is I think that boy’s trying to do comp het but Failing#that’s my take#nishiki#rambling
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when the very small amount of people in my life who know i’m a lesbian still talk about me dating guys 😃 like
#no cause i’m gonna tell u guys abt this convo i had w my sister the other day#we were talking abt her dating older guys cause she has a type lmao#and i was like what would you do if i was dating someone more than like 4 years older then me#and she was like ‘i would punch him in the face’#dramatic asf#and i was like ummmmm him ? 🧏♀️🧏♀️#and idk maybe she just got confused cause we WERE talking abt older guys but like i mentioned a hypothetical situation where i was dating#someone and she immediately assumes it’s a guy …..#i know it sounds stupid but like i’m out to less than 3 people i know irl and she just blatantly disregards my gayness ???#GODDDDDDD#like i have to talk about men all the time with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND HER !!!!!#and one of the very few times i talk abt myself and bring up my own dating life ….. and she says hypothetically id be dating a man#it makes me wanna scream just thinking about it again#it immediately ruined my mood#it sucks having no lesbian friends in real life 🤭 like actually devastating sick to my stomach can’t recover type shit#but yk what#one day i’ll make it to one of the like 5 lesbian bars that there are in the US and i’ll meet some friends#ITS GONNA HAPPEN#i’m manifesting it#maybe once i get to college i’ll meet less straight ppl and more LESBIANS#I WANT LESBIANS !!!!#and also i was talking to this other person who’s pan#and they asked me what my sexuality was and i was like im a lesbian#and they go “i like everybody. which unfortunately includes men😪’#bitch …… 😕 you’re kidding me rn#ur joking#pls never say that to me or any lesbian ever#bc i promise u i’ve DREAMT abt the idea of being attracted to men and how much easier that would be#obviously it makes me nauseous thinking abt it but at the same time if i had a CHOICE#since when is there a 30 tag limit i’m trying to rant
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I ship Erehisu, but in a “We both hate each other, but you’re the only person I’m willing to drag to hell with me” kinda way, and not in a “Uwaa we’re soulmates and the world is getting in between us” kinda way.
#You can’t tell me that with how gay for ymir historia was#that she could love eren in a ‘straight’ way#And erens whole arc is about how’s he’s picking the people he wants to drag to hell with him#idk#erehisu#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#aot
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i will always be a bisexual lorelai gilmore truther
#that woman is a bisexual if i ever did see one#you can’t look at her and tell me she’s straight you just can’t#gilmore girls
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