#you can’t tell me she’s straight
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denial is a river in egypt
#caitlin clark#wlw#lesbian#lickety split#riding the tuna boat#you can’t tell me she’s straight#like there’s no way
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regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)
#CHALICE OF THE GODS WAS SO GOOD#AUAUUGHHHUHGHHHGHHHSH#i was laughing out loud every few minutes for like 5 hours straight#this was a book of BITS#(spoilers in tags from here on out)#i keep thinking abt percy’s river rage tantrum and how he came out of it to annabeth saying ‘yeah he’s scary sometimes when he gets worked#up. do you want more tea?’#COMEDY#the entire bit with him hiding under the pastry cart. the thing about annabeth having a secret fanclub and percy’s not even phased.#THE HIMBO JUICE THING. RICK RIORDAN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERES A HOOTERS BUT FOR MEN AND SMOOTHIES#annabeth apparently specifically won’t bake clue cupcakes. and this is happening less than 2 years after the famous sixteenth birthday blue#cupcake that she and tyson made for him. the one that looked like a blue brick that they are with their hands.#<— not inconsistency. comedy.#percy’s whole thing with playing with the snakes with the rainbow as he’s fully prepared to be eaten😭😭😭😭😭he is SO unserious#the entire mt olympus scene where he keeps getting distracted from what he’s doing bc he can’t stop roasting zues in his head????#PERCY I LOVE YOU#ugh i forgot how much i adore percy pov.#pov of not knowing what’s going on ever. pov of being distracted every 10 seconds. he’s literally so real#i thought eudora was hilarious#the whole concept that percy has to do this at all. i think it’s so funny#ppl who are mad that the premise of the quests is stupid. like yeah. percy jackson has a stupid life.#when annabeth broke through his window at 4am to sit on his bed and talk about rocks and trees. everything#percy not knowing the names of anyone at his school or on his swim team#when the god showed up at his cafeteria and percy just ate his lasagna sandwich before talking to him😭😭😭😭that child is TIRED#i loved the light graffiti in the tunnel. when percy wrote their initials i SCREAMED#WHEN. WHEN HE ASCENDED AND TURNED INTO RAINBOW LIGHT WITH THE POWER OF WANTING TO TELL ANNABETH HE LOVED HER.#I DIED.#THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#AUGH i am weak#pjo
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This whole day I have just been yelled at by patients on the phone for long periods of time one after the other I’m at my limit truly
#riv rambles#people are so mean#calling me slurs over the phone because your doctor denied your refill is literally so uncalled for how is this my fault to begin with 😭#I had another guy yell at me for charging him for ‘too many pills’#and it turns out he took 1 pill a day instead of 2#yeah duh ur gonna have extra#and then he had the audacity to tell me I wasted his time for not telling him that sooner#how was I supposed to know#another lady asked if we had something for 2.5 milligrams so I said yes we have it in stock#the doctor sends in a 5 mg prescription which we do not have in stock#she called and yelled at me for lying to her#ma’am you need to ask the right strength when u call that’s on u#there’s 6226 more reasons I got straight up BULLIED over the phone but#I can’t even begin listing them all#I think I answered maybe 15 calls today#I’m pretty sure only like 3 of them were nice regular phone calls#I’m gonna go home and have a good cry session deadass#I mean it#I’m gonna get in the shower and fucking cry 🥲
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there’s a lot of posts on how white suburbs are deeply awful + filled w ppl unable to conceptualize a world outside their own bubble + steeped in racism etc. which obviously is true and all but as someone who’s personally seen many suburbs filled w/ diff ethnic groups (not functionally diverse suburbs just for example suburb 1 filled entirely w chinese immigrants, 2 filled w only pakistanis, etc) the overall results aren’t much better. like at the end of the day the issue lies not in the whiteness of suburban residents but rather the way their lifestyles (car dependancy -> can’t go anywhere else/see other ppl, have never sat on the bus and seen regular ppl etc) allow them to genuinely live their entire lives in an extremely minuscule bubble of homogenous ppl who look & live (esp economically!!!) exactly like them
#other problems for example include. well. i really have nothing to say other than brampton ontario#and ofc fearmongering about the outside world is a huge aspect of the suburban lifestyle. we like to call true crime such a white woman#thing but tell me have you ever seen a canadian brown pocket suburban desi woman. let me tell you she does NOT let her 20 yr old children#out of her sight!!!! pisses me the absolute fuck off#i still can’t get over the time i was talking to some ppl in a gc and every single american in there (brown + grew up in the suburbs)#thought age 12 was WAYYY too young for a kid to be walking to school alone. it was so ?!?!!???#and only me + another friend (british) were like you guys r fucking insane#<- to be clear this was like in a hypothetical where schools were close enough to walk to and everything. they straight up thought 12 yr#olds couldn’t cross the dsmn street by themselves#.txt
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I love when I tell people I’m allergic to nuts and they’re like “all nuts?” and it’s like. Well. I haven’t tried every nut know to man. But so far it’s like 6/6 so yeah I’m just gonna throw it out there that I’m allergic to all nuts in lieu of going out of my way to find the one nut I may not be allergic to by process of elimination.
#this post is brought to you by I finally have a Nutella substitute#something I never had as a child#that bothered me enough that when my friends were all eating Nutella and going mmm Nutella I was like fuck you all give me that#I’m slightly less allergic to Nutella than anything probably by process of it being the furthest thing from a straight-up nut I’ve tried#but yeah#I *think* I’ve (accidentally) tried peanut(butter); walnuts; almonds; and hazelnut (that was intentional)#and I know I can’t eat peanutS and cashews and pistachios without trying them#chestnuts are a mystery. can’t tell if I’m allergic to them just by being near them like I can with other nuts#I don’t know what other nuts are out there#cut to my best friend getting annoyed I called all resses resses peices and she was like these aren’t resse pieces they’re resse CUPS#and I’m like in what world is that a distinction I have to make bestie#anyway#personal
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and then clove rambled some more about her personal life
stg this bitch only texts when im literally sitting actively pining for her like it’s getting trippy like is there some kind of gay telepathy happening and if so how does that work when im tragically the only gay one in the equation
#also what she texts me#is a spotify link#to an album by an artist with my first name#and the album title is something akin to “kiss me soft’’#I can’t make this shit up bro like girl’s tryna kill me#invites me to go see this person live#yes of course I will quite literally do anything if it’s with you#I’m such a gay idiot#I’m listening to that song by that ts wannabe Hollywood director nepo baby gal#that went really viral#and feeling feelings because even though that song isn’t queer it gives me gay feelings#much like…my friend. lmao.#look I’ve never had a crush on a girl who was just regular straight but this girl is like#vaguely bicurious#and it’s always just enough to keep me hoping#delusionally#also my fucking coworkers aren’t helping#we went to a holiday party and someone thought we were a couple#then I tell another coworker about this#and he says “well you guys kind of come across like one when you interact’’#I will cry
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at the ER with my client’s mom and she has a blood clot in her lungs 😭
#brooooo she just got over the same virus i had and all the xmas stress bullshit#what fucking else can happen like seriously GIVE HER A BREAK#she’s 86 too like i’m so fucking worried fr i’ve never seen her in this much pain#everything was fine yesterday what the fuck man what eVEN#and as much i hate to say it#my client has been really cold with her lately and acting like her problems are worse when they’re legitimately not#this is your fucking mother dude#and you have an amazing relationship with her too like she loves you so much#i called her to tell her about the blood clot and it sounded like she didn’t even care#the went straight into complaining about her own issues#?????????#i can’t even fucking fathom this like it’s actually REALLY bothering me#apple babble 🍎#non fandom
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please pick friends u can argue or have misunderstandings with and actually communicate with immediately after like, it’s so fucking important
#like if anything I’ve learned the last couple years is fucking communicate#like actually#my family isn't really big on it and that's probably part of the reason I started writing so young#tried to break that with my niece and was mostly successful we fight but can actually discuss and work things out and talk#I always have encouraged her to express her damn feelings because my stereotypical scorpio sister is in there too so I had to drag it out#and I can be the same it’s hard for me but I try harder now than before#I’m always honest with myself but expression is hard I get it#like we fought the other day and when she came home l expected her to just go in her room#and she just stood there and looked at me like well??? like that one meme haha#and we talked instead#gotta break those generational curses man#but yeah holding people accountable and calling them out is needed sometimes and also apologizing and talking it the fuck out#even if it sucks….do it#set boundaries and u allow what u allow#I’m at the point of my life I just won’t tolerate certain things and that’s valid but also without communication#you’re not moving either way with clarity and clarity is everything#it’s ok to move on from any kind of relationship but were u honest first? was there clarity#and if nothing changes or you can’t find peace you can move on and compartmentalize that loss better because u tried first#I get some reasons don’t warrant any of that but overall#but yeah I do word things like a straight up bitch sometimes and yes u should tell me hahah#can piss eachother off and misunderstand eachother#but there’s paragraphs coming and that’s the important bit#I’m still learning but better than I was
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Should I force myself to talk to women on hinge
#I do not want to#but I am also actively trying to overwrite unrequited attraction that is actually making me ill#so like. idk.#would that count as exposure therapy in this context?#I was introduced to the concept of limerence and I feel a lot more normal about it#not in the sense of ‘I am okay now’#but in the sense of ‘this is a shared and recognized phenomenon that acknowledges the compulsive nature of it#and suggests that it may come from a similar neurological place/process/imbalance as OCD#so instead of well meaning people who don’t grasp how overwhelming these feelings are telling me to just try to date other people#I at least have the validation of ‘you are not crazy because other people have experienced this kind of debilitating intensity too’#and the suggestions for coping with and overcoming limerence include CBT/DBT#which is a lot more structured and helpful than my friends giving me well intentioned advice for something they don’t really understand#like I cannot tell you how much relief this has brought me#I don’t just have a crush on a straight woman and can’t get over it i literally have these non stop intrusive thoughts about her#coupled with the constant mental noise of i know she isn’t interested and i need to be respectful and maintain boundaries#it has literally made me feel like I’m losing my mind or some kind of stalker#but a mental stalker#anyway it has been incredibly unpleasant and upsetting and now I’m focusing on consciously stopping and countering those thoughts#and approaching it the same way as my other intrusive thoughts#also note: I tried to make an appointment with my therapist but she is overbooked and if this does not yield change I might spiral again
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yesterday i crushed my middle three fingers on my right hand w a 40lb window (long story, was emergency) and today, because primarily using my nondominant hand isn’t inconvenient enough, i got a paper cut on the tip of my left pointer. 4/10 fingers not at peak function. i cannot afford to lose any more
#arden.txt#my right pointer is Fucked Up it’s not gonna heal for at least a week#my roommate had to change my bandages bc i straight up couldn’t look at it and yesterday i was straight up shaking abt my bandages/injuries#idk how the blood and gore ppl do it#anyways the story was basically 20 mins after i woke up i heard a fire alarm#go out into the hallway and it’s full of smoke#end up in some poor woman’s apartment#she’s crying and on the phone w our landlord and holding up a window desperately#i get on the phone w the landlord. he tells me i have to shut the door so the main building fire alarms don’t go off#bc the fire department will show up and start busting doors and the sprinklers will go off#so. Very Bad If That Happens#my building is historic so we still have original windows bc he legally can’t change them BUT they’re also different than mine#my apartment has wood windows. i fail to notice in time these are metal#my roommate shows up w this older dude named bill and they start moving fans around and trying to vent the room and hallway#i crush my fingers in the window trying to get a second one open#about two minutes later i realize im about to pass out bc i have mild pots#and the smoke + sudden activity after being asleep 20 mins ago is abt to put me out#and then i notice im bleeding a ton and am basically put on the bench to comfort this poor woman who is still sobbing#bc she lives alone has been doing this for an hour and screaming for help but nobody heard her#which is fucking crazy bc i heard the alarm from inside my apartment and im about as far as you can possibly get from her#we do get the situation under control and the main alarm doesn’t go off so we avoid the worst case scenario#but man. this was too much for a sunday morning
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will my mum ever understand that i don’t like talking (as in it’s really physically difficult) sometimes, especially in the morning, and not get upset with me and make me feel guilty about it despite telling her countless times that this is why? 😃
i just vented in the tags sorry bout that :S
#i wouldn’t say non verbal but pretty close#it’s the same with everything#she just doesn’t understand at all and it’s so draining :/#she constantly makes me feel bad for trying to set boundaries so i just give up#like no i genuinely can’t do some things without help no matter how many times you explain it to me i’m sorry?#no i don’t like that food because the texture makes me want to rip my hair out#i want to try different foods i just have bad anxiety about it and you making comments about it doesn’t help#yes i do need to have headphones or earplugs in most of the time bc sometimes it’s unbearable not to#yes i want to spend time alone in my room bc a) it’s a normal thing to do and b) it’s the one place where i can just be myself n not mask#no i’m not ignoring you you actually just interrupted a conversation i was having with my friends#‘i wish you would talk to me more about things’ I WONDER WHY I DONT#and i can’t even say any of this to her because she’d just cry and tell me what a bad mother she is#like… yea exactly#don’t even get me started on queer stuff#yknow i came out two years ago as not straight#and she hasn’t said a single thing about it since#not even vaguely supportive#i can’t even remember if she told me she still loves me#she said ‘i don’t know what to say’ and left me sobbing by myself#i have to censor myself around them bc i still don’t know how they feel about it#the worst part of it is that i convince myself she isn’t that bad so i just forgive her#and never do anything about it#even now i’m thinking ‘ yea but she genuinely isn’t that badi’ 🤡#i want to leave so bad or at least not be in the same house#but i’m not financially independent yet#and i genuinely don’t know if i could cope living on my own#:’D#just gotta deal with it for now#thank god for this safe space 🙏 love u guys#about the only thing keeping me (partially) sane atm
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Tf? How about no because I did what I did and I don’t regret it
#choices fcl#choices first comes love#choices#choices stories you play#playchoices#like I get you sticking up for your friend#but you’re not about to tell me what to do as if you’re somebody’s parent#also Blake is grown and is at just as much fault as I am#but on a serious note not me being pissed about MC getting called out when Eve does still have a point 😭#but at the same time I hate how much of a coward MC is#girl liked this guy for 10 years and never told him#now she’s sneaking around scheming with her other friend and trying to steal him away from his current gf#and she can’t even own up to what she’s been doing and acts all apologetic when she knows she’s not sorry lmao#disgraceful#can we please just get an MC who acknowledges that what she’s doing is wrong but has no remorse#TNA MC showed remorse occasionally but still acted like she was a saint despite what she said#and this MC just straight up has no backbone at all#it’s ridiculous#choices app#pixelberry studios#pixelberry
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“ugh why couldn’t nishiki see that reina was Right There and would’ve made such a good girlfriend–” he’s gay, susan
#easy explanation. next#don’t say a word about yumi. that whole thing smells like comp het to me and you can’t tell me otherwise#not in MY house#my personal self indulgent hc is that reina is a close friend to him because he goes to Serena alot and gets drunk and when he’s drunk he’s.#like. basically a white girl drunk when left to his own devices and ends up crying and spilling all his secrets and emotions and etc and#reina has inevitably learned a LOT about him through that not even really by choice#most relevantly; that he’s got a Lot of repressed gay angst going on in his fucked up little brain#has never mentioned legitimate or deep feelings for any girls before and it doesn’t even seem to cross his mind to do so unless it’s called#out. mostly just ends up lamenting about the complicated feelings he developed over god knows how long for his best friend#that he’ll probably never act on because he’s probably straight and probably sees him in a more familial light and blah blah blah#whether or not reina has feelings for him is up in the air but either way she figures out real quick that oh man. this guy. needs someone#to vent to and make sure he doesn’t drink himself to death or do something stupid when he’s in one of his Lament Spirals#and well. may as well be her#yeah. anyway. I got sorta sidetracked here point is I think that boy’s trying to do comp het but Failing#that’s my take#nishiki#rambling
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i will always be a bisexual lorelai gilmore truther
#that woman is a bisexual if i ever did see one#you can’t look at her and tell me she’s straight you just can’t#gilmore girls
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I ship Erehisu, but in a “We both hate each other, but you’re the only person I’m willing to drag to hell with me” kinda way, and not in a “Uwaa we’re soulmates and the world is getting in between us” kinda way.
#You can’t tell me that with how gay for ymir historia was#that she could love eren in a ‘straight’ way#And erens whole arc is about how’s he’s picking the people he wants to drag to hell with him#idk#erehisu#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#aot
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wonderful, one of those times where everything i’ve pushed down just bubbles up. great.
#one of my teachers today started comparing me and my older brother and i straight up felt like i wanted to cry#it’s mortifying being the dumb one#because everyone expects you to be great when i’m just…average.#i don’t know where i fit in#not online or offline#like i just feel like i don’t belong anywhere#and i never know how to be vocal about my problems because everyone always assumes i want attention and i don’t#i went to the school psychologist today who’s the closest thing i have to therapy but she isn’t required to be tight lipped#and i wish i could vocalize this#i don’t even think id be able to tell a therapist this because im a weak piece of shit#another thing that bugs me is how when my brother came out my parents were soooo proud of him and my aunts were so proud too#which good dor him#but when i came out as bi i was yelled at and told i was too young to know and that i was just making it up#everything just hurts right now#i hate school#i don’t have the motivation to go to clubs i enjoy#i don’t have the motivation to engage in activities i enjoy#and i know i can’t tell my doctor any of this when i elf checked up because my moms gonna interject with “BuT YoU NevEr ToLd Me!”#and it’s gonna be another “you want attention” thing#i still remember when i used to journal and my mom went through it and screamed at me for two hours because i mentioned being suicidal#never journaled again#idk how to copd honestly#and then i feel like a brat because they do nice things jit then they use it against me#i hate it#i’m just going through a lot this week#sorry#o know you guys are getting tired of my dumb ass bitching
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