#and it turns out he took 1 pill a day instead of 2

[euthymiya]

This whole day I have just been yelled at by patients on the phone for long periods of time one after the other I’m at my limit truly

[pure-smut]

toxic.

featuring: Ryomen Sukuna x f!reader

contains: college!Sukuna, established relationship, drugging (sleeping pills), somnophilia, noncon (reader is asleep), unprotected s*x, creampie

word count: 2.4k

note: all characters are aged up to 21+!

MDNI | 18+ content

series: 1. infatuated | 2. obsessed | 3. addicted | 4. toxic | 5. feral

masterlist

a/n: toxic walking red flag stalker boyfriend Sukuna is back!! part 3 was meant to be the last part but I had more ideas soooo enjoy two more parts!!

Ryomen Sukuna has you.

You’re at your favourite coffee shop with Sukuna, your laptop and a strew of notes on the table as you cram for your final exam of the semester. Sukuna sits in the booth next to you, one arm casually slung over the back of the seating behind you as he scrolls his phone. His presence took a while to get used to, so big it’s almost suffocating, now it’s a reassuring block between you and the rest of the world. Even during the rare times he’s not with you, everyone knows – you’re Sukuna’s girlfriend. That’s enough to scare anyone off. Even your previous failed situationship stopped sending you “you up?” messages once he found out, instead sending you a quick “sorry” before blocking you.

You go to take a sip of coffee but realise it’s empty. Sukuna glances up as you make to stand up.

“Sit down. I got it.”

As you sink back to your seat, he presses a kiss to your temple and stands, sauntering over to the counter. You smile after him. You love that he does things for you without you needing to ask.

Sukuna has an uncanny ability to anticipate what you want or need, sometimes having it ready for you without you even saying anything. You remember the time you came home from a long, stressful day and he had your favourite takeout food waiting for you. When you asked him how he knew your favourite, or how he even knew you were having a bad day, he only shrugged and said, “Lucky guess.”

You suspect it’s something more than that but you’re just happy to be doted on. No one’s ever been this sweet to you, this infatuated, so you accept him without question.

When Sukuna returns with your coffee, you brush a light kiss across his lips and thank him.

Sukuna’s cock stirs as soon as your mouth touches his. He watches you as you study, pretending to look at his phone, admiring your profile. You really are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You don’t even need to do anything to get him going – a light touch or a chaste kiss is enough for his blood to rush straight down. Hell, you were sitting in your pyjamas eating peanut butter out of the jar the other day and even that made his cock hard.

He smothers a smile. Sukuna couldn’t be happier. He’s got you all to himself and even though he trusts you of course, sometimes he indulges in a little light stalking just to be sure. He knows you ignore other men when they try to talk to you and you’re always exactly where you say you are. Why wouldn’t you be? You’re perfect.

“Oh, I forgot to say,” you interrupt his train of thoughts and Sukuna looks up at you, smile on his face. “I’ve decided to come off the pill.”

Sukuna’s smile freezes.

“What’s that?” He makes sure his voice comes out casual if not a little strained.

“I’m coming off the pill. Actually, I’ve already come off it – it was messing with my head.” You turn away from your notes to look at him, smiling. “We’ll need to use condoms from now on, okay?”

Your sweet face is oblivious to the turmoil currently inside Sukuna. A condom? You want a physical barrier between you both? You want to take this beautiful, perfect thing between you and put a condom in the middle of it?

Sukuna has to fight not to crush his phone in his hand.

“Whatever, babe,” he manages to say.

You give him a relieved smile and squeeze his thigh before turning back to your notes. Behind you, Sukuna’s smile drops.

No. No, this is not happening. His brain churns as he processes this, a stab of anger in his chest. Do you not love him anymore? Is this the first step in breaking up? He shakes his head. A condom? He won’t get to feel the euphoria of your bodies joined together, not an inch between you. No more filling your sweet little cunt with his cum, watching it drip out of your used hole. Sukuna’s mouth goes dry at the thought.

Yeah, no. He’s going to have to do something about this.

You take a large gulp of your fresh coffee, giving your cheeks a light slap.

“This last exam is really doing a number on me,” you sigh, rubbing your eyes. “I need like five coffees a day just to stay awake.”

A lightbulb dings over Sukuna’s head. Oh, sweet, sweet you. You’ve given him the most perfect idea without even realising. A true smile crawls across Sukuna’s face as he reaches over to brush your hair from your neck.

“Don’t work too hard,” he coos. “You know I don’t like sharing your attention.”

You grin, assuming he’s joking. He’s not.

“I won’t be much longer, I promise,” you say. “And then we’ll go home, okay?”

Sukuna kisses your shoulder. His mood has lifted now an idea has formed in his head.

“Whatever you want,” he says, smiling. *

Sukuna orders the sleeping pills online from a less-than-reputable website, paying extra for next day delivery. It means he has to grit his teeth through one night of fucking you with a condom.

He tries his best not to let his displeasure show but you struggled to find a condom that would fit him and when you did, Sukuna only sank half his cock inside you. He came inside the plastic sack, throwing it away with disgust. The whole thing is less than satisfying.

But the promise of the next day keeps him going.

The pills arrive in a plain parcel while you’re out at class. Sukuna and you don’t live together yet but his place is bigger and more comfortable than your cramped shared space, so you spend a lot of time at his. He makes sure you’re out before the pills get delivered.

Sukuna knows he has to be patient. It’s not your fault you had to come off the pill – your health is important, after all. You’re precious to him and he doesn’t want you hurt. So he doesn’t blame you for that. But he’ll be damned if he has to suffer through condoms for the rest of his life with you.

He really has no choice.

Sukuna crushes up the sleeping pills, careful with the dosage, and when you arrive back home after class, he offers you a relaxing glass of spiked wine and your favourite dinner.

“You’re so sweet to me, ‘Kuna.” You kiss him, accepting the wine and food without argument.

You spend a nice evening together, watching TV as Sukuna rubs your feet. He keeps a careful eye on you and, sure enough, it’s not long before you start to yawn. A little while later, you’re nearly falling asleep on the sofa.

“You tired, babe?” Sukuna asks innocently.

You give a sleepy nod, apologising and saying you’re going to have an early night. Sukuna watches you pad into the bedroom, the lights switching off. Barely five minutes later, he can hear your soft snores.

He grins.

You’re always so predictable, so obedient, and it makes him love you all the more. Sukuna can’t believe how lucky he is to have you – his perfect girl.

Sukuna follows you to the bedroom, his cock already stirring. He’s bought the morning after pill to crush into your coffee for tomorrow. Tonight, he gets to feel you properly again.

He strips off before tugging the blanket off you. You’re out cold, spread-eagle and naked on the bed. Sukuna looks down at you fondly. It reminds him of when he snuck into your bedroom to taste you. The memory makes him smirk, knowing you’re still unaware that even happened.

Sukuna whispers your name a few times, shaking your shoulder. Your chest rises and falls gently but you don’t even make a noise. Truly dead to the world.

Satisfied, Sukuna situates himself between your legs, the mattress sinking under his weight. He takes a moment, drinking you in, and strokes himself a couple times to the sight of you. He loves every inch of your body, every divot and curve, every mark and mole. He wants to wrap his large arms around you and hold you to him and never, ever let you go.

Sukuna leans forward and gropes your tits first, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth. It stiffens against his tongue as he plays with your other nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. He loves your tits, would touch them all day if you let him. He pulls back to see the marks he left on you a few days ago, your soft flesh peppered with bruises.

Sukuna trails his hand down your body, the silkiness of your skin in contrast to his calloused palms, before slipping his hand between your legs. He dips a finger between your folds and finds you slick with arousal. Your body is responding to him even while you’re asleep. The thought makes his heart swell almost as much as his cock.

He sinks a finger deeper inside you, feeling your hole stretch around him. You barely move but your brows scrunch slightly as he finds your sensitive spot and strokes it softly.

“That’s it, baby,” Sukuna murmurs, watching the slight change in your face. He can feel you getting wetter, getting ready for him. “That’s my girl.”

Sukuna withdraws before pushing two of his thick fingers inside you. His thumb rubs your clit as he fingers you, encouraging your orgasm. He knows you need to cum at least once to be able to fit all of him in and he’s more than happy to get you there. You don’t make a sound but your breathing quickens. Sukuna’s gaze moves between your breasts, jiggling hypnotically with every sharp inhale you take and your cunt, where he can see your hole stretched around his fingers.

Sukuna curves his fingers to reach your little bundle of nerves and it’s enough to undo you, even unconscious. You groan softly as Sukuna draws an orgasm from you. He feels your walls quivering around his fingers and the anticipation of feeling you around his cock again is almost too much.

When Sukuna’s satisfied you’re done, he withdraws his fingers and aligns his cock with your entrance. He nudges the tip past your lips, now puffy with arousal, until he can feel the resistance of your hole. You’re spread so beautifully in front of him, so pliant in your sleep, more than anything he wants to slam himself fully inside you.

But he won’t. Sukuna loves you, he doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants you to feel as good as him. No, he needs you to. Needs you to need him, even when you’re not awake. He needs it so badly, he’ll do whatever he has to.

Sukuna leans forward over you, supporting himself on his arms, and slowly pushes inside you.

He’ll never get bored of the initial resistance of your sweet little pussy. The way your hole immediately grips him, pulling him deeper inside. Sukuna pushes in deeper, just a few inches, and lets out a sigh that’s half pleasure, half relief.

You feel so hot around him, so soft. There’s nothing that compares to this, to the feel of your bodies connecting as his cock reaches inside the most intimate part of you. Sukuna shallowly pumps in and out of you, watching your face. You look angelic, your hair splayed out around you like a halo, your face so peaceful even as Sukuna sinks his cock inside you.

Your needy hole pulls him in, coating his girth in your slick. Sukuna works himself deeper, the muscles in his arms taut as he holds himself back until he knows you’re ready. He’s almost there, just a few inches left, but he needs to give you some time to adjust.

To make sure he can go deeper, Sukuna readjusts his position slightly, pulling your thighs up until they’re resting on top of his. It angles your hips up slightly, giving him better access, making sure he’ll be able to bottom out.

Sukuna lowers himself onto his forearms, automatically wanting to kiss you before realising you can’t kiss back. The thought is frustrating. Instead, he busies his mouth with your neck and tits, sucking fresh marks into the skin. It’s risky but he hopes you won’t notice the new marks amongst the old ones and he can't resist nibbling at your plush flesh.

As Sukuna sucks and nibbles your tits, he starts to rock his hips again. Your pussy welcomes him, letting him stroke deeper until he bottoms out. He feels your lips touch the base of his cock and can’t stop himself from groaning, deep and long.

“So perfect,” he murmurs. “My perfect girl.”

Sukuna keeps rolling his hips. The friction of your slick walls against his cock is intoxicating.

“You get so wet for me, baby,” he whispers. “You love it raw, don’t you? You love my raw cock stuffed in your little hole.”

Condoms. What a ridiculous idea. There's nothing better than this, better than your skin on his, feeling every inch of you until there's no secrets you can hold that he doesn't already know.

Sukuna picks up his pace, pushing himself back up onto his arms so he can watch you bounce under the force of his thrusts. The sound of your sopping cunt fills the room, like music to Sukuna’s ears. He knows he’ll never fuck you with a condom again, never put a barrier between you. He’ll never give up this feeling, the way your needy pussy massages his cock, desperate for his cum.

Your walls start to clench around him and Sukuna realises he’s about to make you cum again. The thought spurs him on and he fucks you harder, slamming himself into you hard enough that he knows you'd be crying his name if you were awake.

“That’s it, baby, cum on my cock,” he grunts, nearing his own orgasm. “Fuck, you're squeezing me so tight. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Sukuna gives one last thrust before spilling his seed inside you, filling you to the brim. He stays where he is for a few moments longer, catching his breath, before pulling out. He sits back, reaching between your legs to spread your aching lips, watching his cum spill out of your hole.

Sukuna scoops up some with a finger before leaning forward to smear it across your lips, smirking. How he’d love to watch you suck it from his fingers but he’ll leave that for another time.

Sukuna checks your breathing, makes sure you’re still okay, before cleaning you up. He softly presses a warm, damp cloth to your well-used pussy, cleaning both your juices. You did so well for him tonight and he wants to treat you gently.

When he’s finished, Sukuna climbs into bed next to you, draping you across his chest. His body is relaxed and he closes his eyes with a satisfied smile. He reminds himself to slip you the morning after pill tomorrow.

And then a little voice at the back of his head asks him – what if he didn’t?

masterlist

Support me on Ko-Fi! ♡

Taglist: @bravinskly

[pshcomforts]

➳ only | psh. — requested

idol!sunghoon x fem!reader

“be my only one”

synopsis: you get your period on an unexpected day, and find your boyfriend, park sunghoon, a little more annoying than usual when he comes home early from practice.

warnings/content: written in third pov. slightly angsty but more fluffy fluff! sunghoon’s down bad <3 and reader has a lot of mood swings. reader’s a little mean. not proofread (i’m sorry if it’s bad).

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 1.9k

a/n: message request. — this was a little rushed so i’m sorry if it’s not that good </3

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: only by leehi

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:40 ─────────|────────── -2:19

“are you kidding me?” y/n annoyingly huffed at the sight in front of her.

her stomach furiously grumbled as she sighed and reached for a pad in the cabinet drawer.

“i actually started.., great!” she sarcastically beamed with an eye roll to herself, ignoring the small amount of pads left.

a quick change of undergarments was made in the bathroom, making her feel ever so slightly better about starting her period.

the girl left the bathroom and almost instantly, was hit with a mound of cramps. her hands quickly clenched onto her abdomen, face scrunching in pain while trying to find some sort of pain killer.

swiftly, she downed the pills as if her life depended on it, all while getting a text notification in the process. her head peeked over and found her boyfriend’s messages.

hoonie 🫂:

Hey gorgeous, you there?

Text me back, I’m bored at practice ㅋㅋㅋ

a slight eye roll was taken from y/n, and she was sure she could blame her period for it, but she was annoyed for no reason.

she did feel bad for feeling this way because sunghoon didn’t even do anything wrong but, the girl just started, could you blame her?

she softly grumbled out a sigh, responding to not make him worry.

after sending a message, she shut her phone off, pouting in defeat of the discomfort that took over her body.

“maybe a nap will help..,”

her body laid down on the couch and within seconds, she was out like a light.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the day was ending soon, and with his busy schedule, sunghoon was still far from coming home (or so she thought).

y/n had awoken from her nap hours ago but in all, it didn’t help.

if anything, it just made her more grouchy than before; and sunghoon would have to deal with that soon.

or much sooner.

the doorknob quickly rustled as if someone was fighting it, confusing the girl on the opposing side before it creaked open to her boyfriend.

“hoonie?? why are you here?” her brows raised to depict her puzzled look, causing a light chuckle to deplete out of him.

“i just missed you, baby.” his low voice murmured out, lips curling into a hot grin.

maybe it was her hormones, but the way he played out that smile had her replay it in her head multiple times.

“didn’t you miss me?” sunghoon croaked out.

and just like that, her love for the boy disappeared.

not entirely, but her hormones pushed her to be more annoyed than gushy.

y/n shook her head, turning away instead of hugging her boyfriend who was longing for it after all day.

hoon gave a faint grin, mind almost catching onto her reasoning.

“come on, y/n, don’t leave me like that.” his hands snaked around her waist, emitting butterflies while she only shook her head.

“not right now, hoon,” she firmly mewled out.

‘so grumpy today,’ he mindlessly said in his own head.

“what’s wrong, baby?” his voice was low, sending shivers down her spine as she simply huffed out a sigh.

“i started my period, hoon. my cramps are hurting me.”

y/n didn’t hear a peep out of the boy until a soft chuckle slipped in through her ears.

“you know..,” sunghoon caught up to her, letting his hands wrap around her waist to pull her in. “i actually left practice early because my stomach was hurting. i think i might be a little sick..”

his grip attempted to tighten around her but she pushed his hands away with a small whine.

“that’s not funny hoon, i’m really in pain here.”

the girl crossed her arms with slightly furrowed brows, indicating that she wasn’t liking any of this teasing mess that she usually liked.

“gorgeous, i swear.. i’m not…,”

she watched her boyfriend clench onto his stomach with a scrunched face.

“hoonie, you better not be messing with me.” she murmured in a displeased look.

sunghoon gave a faint grin at her words. “i’m not, but maybe a little kiss will make me feel better?”

his lips puckered and he slightly leaned in, expecting an easy and simple kiss — only to hear a quiet scoff slip by his girl’s lips.

you know the feeling when you get grossed out by everything and anything when you’re on your period? yeah, y/n got that.

she quickly turnt her head, dodging the kiss.

“y/n.. come on,” sunghoon whined, pouty lips going on display again. “i need a kiss to feel better.”

she groaned out a sigh whilst looking at her handsome boyfriend. he was gorgeous, but the upset feeling still fueled her mood swings.

“don’t make fun of my cramps,” she murmured, walking away to the room with tears filling her eyes.

her emotions were out of the place because she started her period, could you blame her for tearing up?

sunghoon huffed out a sigh as he watched his girlfriend leave the scene before feeling his tummy gurgle again.

he whimpered in slight pain, holding his stomach as he slumped down on the couch.

“i really wanted that kiss,” the male cutely pouted to himself, resting in the living room to give y/n space.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a few hours after their little spat, the girl escaped from their bedroom and into the bathroom to do a pad change — only to encounter the worst.

no more pads.

a groan escaped from her lips as her head dropped low in defeat.

sunghoon watched her leave the bathroom and walk up to him with her lips formed into a thin line, displaying her awkward smile.

“hoonie?”

“yeah, pretty girl?”

“ineedpads,” she quickly muffled out, causing a chortle to erupt out of him.

“slower, y/n, i barely understood that.” he flashed a wide grin at her, almost making her fold at his attractive feature.

“i.. need pads.”

“are you still mad at me?” hoon lightly teased, fangs shining in his charming smile.

“no… i just need pads..,” her head dropped low in shame as she tried to not let her mood swings get the best of her. “please, sunghoon.”

the boy attempted to bite back his smile at the little plead she let out, but how could he deny his girlfriend?

she was his weakness.

“come on, let’s go.”

he stood up, grasping her hands and leaving the apartment to head to the convenience store.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

arriving upon the store, y/n hurriedly ran to the hygiene section while hoon chuckled in his hidden mask and hovered hoodie, searching for various snacks.

her eyes scanned through each brand, looking for the right one before finding it.

“here it is!” she quietly beamed to herself, walking around to finally search for her boyfriend.

she soon reached the medicine aisle where sunghoon stood, a few heated pads and tasty treats loved by his girl were in his hands while looking for ibuprofen.

her heart melted at the sight. every small thing she found slightly annoying of him because of her period was gone in an instant.

she couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.

y/n opened her mouth to call his name but figured she probably shouldn’t with his famous background of being an idol, so she walked over to him instead.

but when she found the bottle of ibuprofen in his hands already, she found herself worried and confused.

‘is he really sick?’ her concerned eyes scanned his hidden face that was still focused on the sight in front of him.

“hey,” she softly poked his forearm. “are you really sick?”

sunghoon turned to his girlfriend who was deemed bothered at his state of health.

“i’m okay, gorgeous, my stomach just kind of hurts.”

he tried to laugh it off but y/n only furrowed her brows. “why didn’t you tell me that your stomach was actually upset?”

the boy huffed out another laugh before giving a soft ruffle at her hair. “it’s okay, you were upset so i didn’t want to bother you even more.”

not letting her respond, his hands grasped onto hers to lead her towards the cashier as she quietly fumed to herself, feeling guilty.

sunghoon thanked the employee before exiting out of the store with his favorite person, finally walking home.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

throughout the entire walk, y/n stayed quiet to herself, replaying how she completely dismissed his pain because of hers.

when they got to their apartment, sunghoon quietly sighed.

“okay, baby, what’s wrong?” he softly asked with the bag still in his hands.

“i’m sorry..,” she quietly peeped, turning around with her head down in shame — gaining a laugh to come from him.

“why are you sorry, y/n? you didn’t do anything.”

he approached the sad girl, lifting her head up with his hands pushing her cheeks to look at him. he found her with tears already streaming down and he couldn’t help but feel a gush of love over his heart.

“i’m sorry i didn’t take your stomach ache seriously, i don’t know why i did that..,”

sunghoon’s inner lips curled at her words. “y/n, it’s okay, you started your period, i understand.”

“shut up sunghoon! it’s not okay! and now i’m crying and i don’t know why i’m crying!” she fumed, letting her tears drop more. “and now you’re in more pain because of me!”

her hands fisted, softly hitting his shoulders out of instinct as he laughed to himself, heart warming at her little guilt.

“y/n,” he called, but she ignored him, not meeting his gaze.

a sigh left his throat as he continued, “gorgeous, can you please look at me?”

hesitantly, the girl raised her head and immediately felt his lips peck hers.

“i’m okay, okay? yes, my stomach hurts but i got medicine for a reason. i’ll be okay,” he pressed another kiss onto her nose temple, hearing her breath hitch as he grinned once more.

y/n softly pouted, pushing him away out of instinct. “i’m still sorry... so.., i’m gonna make you some rice porridge so you can feel better.”

she walked away to the kitchen, wiping her last tears before feeling his hands snake around her waist like earlier.

“you’d make me feel better, you know that?” sunghoon whispered into her ears as his height towered over hers.

“rice porridge would, actually, so sit down and wait until it’s done.”

“but i want cuddles,” he pouted, thumbs rubbing around her stomach area.

“you are sick because you get clingy when you do.”

his head dug further into her shoulders, taking in her scent he loved so much while chuckling.

“you know me so well.”

“i do, now will you please go wait on the couch? i want you to rest.”

she turned to face him, only to find the boy with his usual pouty lips.

“i want you to rest too, you know?”

he beamed an ear-to-ear grin before she playfully rolled her eyes.

“i know, hoonie, but you’re the sick one.”

“but-“

“wait on the couch until the rice porridge is done, and then we can cuddle all you want okay?” she intruded, letting him sigh in defeat.

sunghoon returned himself on the sofa, allowing his girlfriend to take care of him like she wanted.

after a few more fusses, the night eventually ended with the two concluding that hoon had gotten food poisoning.

so after connecting the dots of how, they ended up falling asleep on the furniture in each others arms — both snuggly fit as they were already feeling better in the presence of each other.

✩ ‘my only one’ ✩

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.

[oneofstarkskids]

so high school (part 3)

part 1, part 2

genre: fluff

summary: high school au!! how is bucky supposed to break it to you that everything that's happened started with a lie?

bucky didn't know how long he could keep it up. the whole facade. he actually had to scramble to hide his report card from you.

you weren't his dad. he shouldn't be afraid of you seeing his grades.

but he was finally spending time with you. could he have made things simple and just asked you out like a normal person? no. this was more fun.

plus it's not like anyone was getting hurt. he was passing all his classes as usual. the only down side seemed to be the lying. he would have to tell you eventually...right? or maybe he could just...

he started to envision it. the two of you sitting on a deck with james junior in your lap. "and that's how mommy met daddy. because he's dumb as a rock."

or in the later years. "do you need me to organize your pills, honey?" bucky would probably roll his eyes, "i can count, doll."

okay so maybe he was overthinking, but that didn't mean that all of this couldn't turn into a problem. besides, he wanted to be honest with you.

relationships shouldn't be built on lies. so bucky decided to tell you the truth.

he met you in the library, like he'd done almost every day this week. he noticed the sullen expression on your face immediately.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you didn't have any problem telling him. the two of you had become sort of, close.

"it's my friend sam. he said he was working yesterday, but i saw someone post him on their story at some hangout," you sighed. "it doesn't matter. he can hang out with whoever he wants. i just can't believe he lied to me."

bucky froze. oh. shit.

"we're best friends. i don't understand why he felt like he couldn't tell me the truth. it hurts, you know," you said. and because bucky did know, he looked down at the table.

"i have to tell you something."

you study his expression. not that it was difficult, bucky was usually an expressive person. he seemed a bit nervous.

"i was never going to fail," he said quietly.

you frowned. "what?"

bucky tried to explain, "i was never getting kicked off the team. i've never failed a class. math and science are actually my strongest subjects."

bucky couldn't stop imagining the look of betrayal that was probably on your face. it took a lot for him to look up to meet your eyes.

but when he did, you were...smiling?

you suddenly laughed like it was all ridiculous. bucky didn't know how to react. and he had sisters, so he knew that your laughter could turn into a lecture at any moment.

"why?" you managed between wheezes.

bucky thought back to the beginning of it all, "well, i liked you for a really long time. all my friends were saying i should ask you out, but i guess i was too scared."

"you were scared?" you couldn't understand how someone like bucky barnes could be insecure for even a moment.

yet, he nodded.

"so you decided to create an elaborate plan to spend all this time with me instead of just asking me on a date?" you asked.

bucky chuckled with embarrassment, "maybe i am stupid after all."

you shook your head, "i don't think it's stupid. i think it's cute."

he turned a bright shade of pink that had you feeling confident.

you smirked, "but don't think that means you're getting out of that date."

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Let's call it Fate | Part 8

(A/N) Okay, I think I escalated a bit again, but I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. The Reader sitting in Copia's lap the whole day. Aaaaaahhhhh.

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: google translate translations, abusive parents (especially mother), arranged marriage, age gap, bullying, talk of grandparents and death of a grandparent, mistreatment of Ghouls,

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

As soon as you walked into the mess hall, it felt as if all eyes were on you. Well, most of them were on you. After all, it was the second time you walked in there late and with a high-ranking member of the clergy. You didn’t want to think about all the rumors that were surely already circling. Instead, you kept your head down, quickly prepared a plate for you as well as two for Papa Primo, and put both of them onto a tray.

Copia followed your lead, grabbing beverages for the three of you before he followed you back out. As soon as the doors closed behind the pair of you, you started giggling, Copia soon joining in.

“That was so awkward.”

Copia agreed with a nod, before glancing back. Once he had made sure no one was following you, he turned back around, grinning like a little kid.

“I have to admit, life here has been more interesting ever since you joined.”

“Oh? Is that a good thing, Cardinal?”

You couldn’t help the little smirk that found its way onto your face. He quickly glanced at you before looking back ahead.

“The best, cara. The best.”

You smiled, averting your gaze to the tray in your hands as you felt your cheeks heat up. Was bad that you really wanted to kiss him at that moment?

The pair of you soon reached the greenhouse and you gently knocked with your boots, not trusting your balance to hold the tray with only one hand. After a few moments, the door swung open and Papa Primo stood there, a surprised smile on his face.

“Tesoro, fratello. Come in, come in!”

You entered and gently placed the tray down on the table, before grabbing the third chair that had been hidden away, and carrying it over for Copia, who met you halfway and took it from your hands.

“I got it, amore.”

You froze for a second as you recognized that word. Everyone knew it after all. ‘Love’. Copia had just called you ‘love’. He didn’t seem to notice as he simply carried the chair over to the table, before turning to look at you. You’re sure you had a stupid, lovesick smile on your face as you watched him for a second, before joining the brothers.

The three of you spent lunch chatting about everything and nothing, joking around and telling funny stories about your lives. You loved listening to Papa Primo telling you about all the shenanigans Copia would get up to when he was still a child. Of course, Copia would constantly try to defend himself, but you always just shushed him so you could keep listening to Papa Primo.

By the time all of you were done with lunch, you had a tummy ache from laughing so hard, while Copia’s cheeks had a slight red tint to them. While Papa Primo was telling another one of his stories, you suddenly felt a hand, reaching for yours. You glanced at Copia as you intertwined your fingers with his, giving his hand a light squeeze when he gently pulled them into his lap. His second hand gently covered them, softly stroking the back of your hand while he smiled to himself.

“Ah, you two probably have better things to do than listen to me ramble. Grazie for spending lunch with me. Go, I’ll be right here.”

With a glance in Copia’s direction, you nodded and as the two of you stood up, you kind of expected him to let go of your hand. But he didn’t. Instead held on tight as he pilled all the cutlery and plates onto one tray before picking it up with his free hand.

“Grazie Fratello. E non una parola su questo, vero?”

Papa Primo chuckled and nodded as he was waving the pair of you out.

“I’ll come get you for dinner, okay?”

“Si, si tesoro. Have fun.”

After a quick stop at the mess hall to return the tray, you walked back to Copia’s office. Once inside, Copia let out a deep sigh before smiling at you, raising your hand to his lips to press a quick kiss on your knuckles. As your cheeks began to heat up, he let out a deep chuckle, before dropping your hand and walked over to his desk. You quickly followed and sank down into the chair beside his as he once again gave you a small amount of the paperwork he had to do, before you began working in silence.

The hours passed quickly and before either of you knew, it was the middle of the night. You only took a quick break for dinner before getting back to work, but there was still some left.

“It’s okay cara, I’ll take care of the rest. You go to sleep, si?”

You glanced at him, your eyes barely staying open.

“Are you sure? I can stay a bit longer and help.”

He chuckled, gently cradling your face before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

“I’m sure. I promise, and tomorrow, we’ll spend the day together.”

You nodded, a big yawn escaping you before you slowly stood up and grabbed your things. You were about to get out the map when Copia interjected.

“Swiss should be outside, he’ll get you back to your room safely.”

You smiled and thanked him, before walking to the door, turning back to look at him before opening it.

“Good night, Copia.”

He looked up, smiling.

“Buona notte, amore.”

Once you stepped outside, you immediately saw him. Swiss was hard to miss after all.

“There is my favorite girl.”

As he swaggered up to you, you immediately lifted your arms, making grabby hands at him. He chuckled, but without another word, scooped you up and started carrying you to your room. At first Swiss stayed silent, something that surprised you, but you wouldn’t complain. But then he had to talk.

“So? Finally believe me that he has the hots for you?”

You whined and weakly slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. But then you stopped and thought about everything that had happened over the last few days. All the hours spent together, the touches, him calling you ‘love’. Maybe Swiss was right, but…

“It doesn’t matter if he does…’m spoken for.”

A humorless laugh left your lips as you cuddled further into Siwss’ chest. He slowed down a bit, lowering his head to peer at you, but he didn’t question you further. Instead, he held you tighter until you arrived in front of your room. He gently sat you down, only letting go once he was sure you were steady.

“Are you alright?”

You looked at him, a blank expression on your face as you asked yourself that question. But you couldn’t come up with an answer.

“Jury’s still out…thank you for bringing me back here. I’ll see you for the picnic tomorrow?”

Swiss forced a smile onto his face as he nodded.

“Yeah, Cumulus has been in the kitchen all day. Said she can’t wait.”

That made you smile. You were also excited about the picnic, and meeting the others.

“Good night, Swiss.”

“Good night, little dove.”

The next morning, you were woken up by a loud knock on your door. A mumbled ‘go away’ did nothing to deter the person on the other side though, so you got your feet, almost falling over, and opened the door, just to find a way too happy Swiss on the other side.

“Good morning, sunshine!”

Without asking, he barged into the room, starting to make the bed.

“Wha…?”

He glanced at you over his shoulder.

“Come on, it’s picnic time. The others are already there, everyone’s waiting for you.”

He finished fluffing your pillows before giving you a quick once over. With a chuckle, he hoisted you over his shoulder and carried you into the bathroom, forcing you to brush your teeth while he combed through your hair and put it in a ponytail. It still looked messy, but at least not like you had just fallen out of bed. Once you had rinsed your mouth, he asked you if you wanted to change into something else, and when you declined, he easily threw you back over his shoulder, grabbed your still-packed bag, and walked out of your room.

You completely zoned out, even almost fell asleep as Swiss was carrying you through the halls of the Ministry. You knew that it wasn’t too early, since you saw some members passing you by, and looking mildly concerned, but they didn’t stop Swiss. So either, they had seen the two of you hand out before, or they didn’t care. Not that you cared either.

“Better close your eyes, sweet-cheeks, about to go outside.”

You grumbled an insult at him, but he just laughed it off and kept walking. You had forgotten all about his warning when he suddenly pushed through the doors and walked out into the backyard. You groaned and quickly closed your eyes, before slowly opening them until you got used to the brightness.

“Where are we going?”

“You, aren’t going all, okay? That’s all me.”

He pinched you in your thigh and you immediately slapped his ass, making him chuckle.

“Stop or I might think you’re flirting with me…anyway, I’m carrying you to the edge of the forest, where the others are waiting. A certain Cardinal might also already be there.”

You hummed, too tired to care about anything at all, so you just kept dangling until shade encompassed you and you were suddenly lifted up.

“Look, I brought a present.”

Swiss sat you down on your feet, or at least he tried to. But once he realized you were not even attempting to stand up, he slowly lowered you until you sat on a soft blanket. A strong arm quickly wrapped around you and pulled you towards them. When you glanced up, you saw Copia, looking at you concerned.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You nodded before leaning against his chest and closing your eyes.

“Just eepy.”

He chuckled and pulled you onto his lap, ensuring you were situated.

“Then sleep a bit more, cara. This can wait.”

Copia pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead before you passed out. If you had seen him in that moment, you would have seen the love in his eyes as he looked down at you.

You don’t know how much time had passed when you woke up, surrounded by soft chatter and birds chirping. You heard laughter and felt whatever you were resting against vibrate. A chest, you were resting against a chest.

With one eye open, you peered up and instantly recognized Copia. One of his arms was around you, holding your back up, while the other held a glass of what looked to be orange juice. As soon as you moved, his gaze landed on you and he sat the glass down, instead reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“How are you feeling?”

“Still eepy, but less so.”

He smiled and nodded toward whatever was in front of him.

“Then come, eat something. Meet the others.”

With Copia’s help, you slowly sat up, still in his lap, and turned to look around. You were surrounded by a group of Ghouls and Ghoulettes. There were eight of them, spaced out on two large blankets that covered the grass. In the middle of everything laid a pile of food and snacks, and everything looked delicious.

“Ey! Look who’s awake.”

You glanced to your right and saw Swiss sitting right beside you and Copia. He grinned at you and you couldn’t help but smile at him. Once he realized you were truly awake, he gestured to the others before listing off their names. You already knew Dewdrop and had heard of Phantom, a younger Ghoul. Then there was Rain and Mountain, and the Ghoulettes, Cumulus, Cirrus, and Aurora. They all smiled and waved when mentioned and you waved back.

Cirrus, who was sitting to your left, immediately offered you some food, preparing a plate full of different fruits and baked goods.

“Cucu had been in the kitchen all day yesterday, making these.”

She motioned toward the other Ghoulette who smiled and waved before she returned to her conversation with Mountain. You quickly thanked Cirrus and took the plate from her hands, before leaning back slightly, quickly touching Copia’s chest. As if out of instinct, his right arm immediately wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer, before he leaned down and whispered in your ear.

“Eat, enjoy yourself.”

You glanced back at him, before nodding with a soft smile, relaxing against him. For the rest of the day, you stayed like that, eating and drinking in Copia’s arms as you got to know Swiss’ friends. You quickly grew close to the Ghoulettes, as they practically adopted you as their baby. Phantom was shy at first, but quickly warmed up to you, starting to annoy Swiss and the others when his hyperactivity started to show. Rain and Mountain sat the farthest away from you, so it was hard to interact with them, but they seemed kind and sweet.

Shortly before lunch, Mountain and Rain got to their feet and started walking up towards the main building. You looked back at Copia, confused.

“They are getting Primo. I assumed you wouldn’t want him to be alone during lunch.”

You smiled, whispering a quick thank you, before you turned back around and continued your conversation with Aurora. At some point, you had started talking about books. You quickly pulled the one you had found in the library and showed it to her, grinning when she went on a rant about how much she loved the author and the series.

Soon, Mountain and Rain returned with Papa Primo and a chair. They helped the old man get situated, before handing him a plate with different snacks. While he was eating, he mostly just watched everyone, from time to time chatting with some of the Ghouls.

After Aurora and you stopped talking, you decided to take out your index cards and study for a bit. Copia did announce last lesson that there would be a vocabulary test next time and you wanted to be prepared. As you went through them, you started feeling more and more confident as the translations got to you fast. But then the momentum you had stopped and you started struggling, putting more and more on the ‘nope’ pile.

You sighed when you were done, the ‘nope’ pile almost as high as the ‘yes’ one. You were about to pick them up and shuffle them when a squeeze around your waist stopped you. Copia reached out and picked up the ‘nope’ pile, shuffling them before placing it down.

“Go on, I’ll help you.”

You glanced back but nodded when you saw his confident smile. So, you picked up the pile and started going through the cards. Whenever you were stuck on a word, Copia would lean down and whisper hints in your ears. And with Copia’s help, you made it through the pile once, twice, and by the third time, you didn’t need his help at all.

“Brava ragazza. I knew you could do it.”

You turned, beaming at him as he smiled back at you. Pride sparkled in his eyes as his gaze jumped from your eyes to your lips and back again. He whispered your name, slowly leaning down when…

“It’s getting late.”

Copia and you turned to look at Papa Primo, who was already looking at the pair of you. Copia took out his pocket watch and cursed under his breath.

“He is right. We should get you to bed, you have classes tomorrow.”

Without waiting for your response, he got up, pulling you along with him. He grasped your hand and interlaced your fingers as you said goodbye to everyone.

In comfortable silence, Copia led you to your room, but halfway there, you remembered something.

“Wait, wasn’t there a black mass today?”

Copia glanced at you and nodded.

“We were thinking about going, but you were too tired, so we decided against it.”

“Isn’t attendance mandatory?”

He chuckled and shrugged.

“Technically. I sent Phantom to let my family know I won’t attend, and I doubt they noticed your assenza. There are simply too many members.”

You nodded, feeling a little sad that you missed it, but you knew there would be another one next week.

Too soon, you arrived in front of your door. You turned to look at Copia, a soft smile on your face as he reached out and tugged a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Good night, Copia.”

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, before retreating.

“Buona notte, cara.”

Translations: cara...dear tesoro...darling Grazie Fratello. E non una parola su questo, vero...Thank you brother. And not a word about this, yes? Brava ragazza...good girl assenza...absence Buona notte...good night

Please consider reblogging and following me! It helps a lot!

Ghost Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

Tags: @antoniamarie1989

Like what you're reading? Buy me a coffee!

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

KIM KITSURAGI - You see the lieutenant's familiar shape in the orange jacket. It turns double -- then triple -- from the pain.

"Kim...."

"I'm alive..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "*Sunrise, parabellum*," the lieutenant says. He's in the middle of a freshly cleaned room, with the fan above his head like a halo. His face is covered in bruises.

Task complete: Return to the Whirling-in-Rags

+70 XP

"Ouch."

"The room… it's clean."

"The piss-jacket, Kim… you took it off?"

"What did you say... sunrise..."

"What… happened?"

"How bad am I hurt?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's not *ouch* time yet. You just got a *drouamine* pill an hour ago. Wait until it wears off."

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - Drouamine. Then it's not *that* bad. Neither surgical, nor organ-damage bad. But still under-the-counter bad.

2. "The room… it's clean."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mr. Garte cleaned it. It took him an entire day."

"How long have I been out?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Two days. In and out -- you've been up enough to take drouamine and curse. And drink water."

3. "The piss-jacket, Kim... you took it off?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes," he replies. "The joke wasn't funny any more. I took it off."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - The close proximity of death must have made the lieutenant contemplate his life choices. He's *done* with the jacket.

We didn't convince him to put it on in the first place. I think they must have forgot to include the trigger to have this only show up under those circumstances.

4. "What did you say… sunrise…"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Sunrise, Parabellum. Sunrise, Prepare-for-War. It's an old revolutionary saying."

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - Isn't that written on your...

"My gun. It's engraved on it."

"Is it... war today?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Cops like it."

+5 XP

"Is it… war today?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "The gates of the harbour are boarded up. The streets are a little more empty. Apocalyptic violence is yet to erupt, I am relieved to say." He looks out the window.

"I think we may have held it off -- for now." He unzips his bomber jacket. "Barely."

"Good."

"A pity."

"Ouch."

+1 Moralism

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. We have also completely failed. But that's okay."

5. "What… happened?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "What happened? You threw an improvised petroleum bomb at the major. A firefight ensued."

"The tie made me do it."

"Is he dead?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He does not answer, and searches for something in his coat pocket instead.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - A smoke most likely.

"Is he dead?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Very. He died in the hospital."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - A bloodstained killer.

"I'm a killer..."

Swallow...

KIM KITSURAGI - "You're an officer of the RCM." He continues without waiting for a reply...

"As retaliation, their rifleman tried shooting you. He hit the cuirass... I heard it go off. I was looking for a clear line of sight to him."

HAND/EYE COORDINATION [Medium: Success] - He sounds a *tiny bit* sorry he did not find it before you got hit.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I shot and wounded him. While Glen took a bullet in the spine. It was meant for me -- he did not survive." There's a pause.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - This is not the first person to die in his place. He goes on.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Titus, Fat Angus, and Theo charged. Angus and Theo did not make it. They both died before they made it to intensive care. Titus survives. So do Alain and the musician, I forget his name..."

"Eugene?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. He's still alive too."

Nod.

KIM KITSURAGI - "You were bleeding out by then. I think you said something about your wife. And you warned me. I was able to disarm one of them, de Paule, before she got the jump on me."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Thank you.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I killed her." The lieutenant takes a cigarette from his coat pocket and lights it. A bitter smell fills the room. "And that's what happened."

"So you also killed."

"I thought you only smoked one a day."

"And they're all dead, all three... of the contractors?"

"How many casualties… on the Union's side? Total?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods.

2. "I thought you only smoked one a day."

KIM KITSURAGI - "This is the one."

3. "And they're all dead, all three... of the contractors?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "De Paule was the last to die." He nods. "Evrart had their bodies returned to Krenel for a funeral. The company is yet to retaliate."

"Why?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Because we *deterred* them? Or Joyce did? Maybe the harbour -- in full lockdown -- is too costly a target. Or maybe..." he breathes in the fumes, thinking.

"Maybe they are simply taking their time and will attack soon? I don't know."

4. "How many casualties… on the Union's side? Total?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Three: Glen, Theo, Angus. The fat one, he... took a lot of bullets." There's a pause. "And Theo -- he was just too old for combat."

5. "And that's…" (Conclude.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "All." He nods.

"An absolute disaster."

"It's a total shit show, Kim."

"Not *that* bad -- all things considered."

"I don't see how it could have gone any better."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Oh no, officer," he says calmly -- without accusation. "It's pretty bad. Six people are dead."

"But what's done is done. The violence is cordoned off, the hornets did not get into the beehive." He rubs his swollen chin. "The worst scenario has not materialized -- yet."

"And…" he smiles: "We are still alive -- both of us."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - He did not expect you both to survive once you stepped between those two armies.

ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - His smoking, his hunched back... you have it worse, but he took a real beating. That cigarette has *medicinal* purposes.

6. "How bad am I hurt?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Reasonably bad. You were shot in the left quadriceps -- that's your thigh. It appears no major arteries were nicked. The bullet was removed and a bacterial infection treated with mercurochrome."

"The bruising in your shoulder is negligible. The armour took the brunt of the fire."

Thanks to the cuirass, we don't have *two* bullet wounds.

"Can I... walk?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "We will see."

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - If it's possible, then by pure willpower alone. You are going to have to become... a psycholocomotor.

"I'm a psycholocomotor."

"Has anyone from my station been to see me?"

"Are you hurt?"

"Okay…." (Get up.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Good. You'll need to be... whatever that is."

2. "Has anyone from my station been to see me?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "No."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - A man and a woman sit in the front seat of an armoured motor carriage. The woman is driving, the man lights a cigarette. Jean Vicquemare is his name, the asphalt vanishes under the wheels of the machine. Ahead, harbour cranes rise to the sky...

"Back to that shithole," he says.

"They don't care about me at all."

"Good. I don't need them."

"Really?"

"Isn't that... strange?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I called your station after the fight. The injury was logged in. They told me they've sent officers to join you on the site."

"Odd. You haven't seen any, have you?"

"Okay."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure they're worried about you."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - No. They would be here if they were truly worried.

"If they're so worried about me where are they?"

Better not agitate yourself further, it already hurts.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't know."

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] - He may have some idea -- but he's not gonna get into it with you.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - That's between you and them, he thinks.

3. "If not my station, then who treated me?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I did."

"Thank you."

"I didn't know you could… do that."

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's part of a detective's task chain. You can do it too."

INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - Actually, you *can*. You can even remove a fractured bullet, it seems...

4. "Are you hurt?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Not very." He rubs his chin. "I have a concussion from that woman beating me with the butt of her gun... I try to not move too much."

"Things would be worse if you didn't warn me." There's a pause. "Thank you. I did not see her coming. Stupid of me…"

5. "Okay…." (Get up.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Easy now..." The lieutenant turns double again, before your eyes. An orange hue of pain...

"How are you?"

"Gnhhhh..."

"My… disco days are done."

"I feel fantastic. Let's… rock."

"Who cares. Who cares about me. It doesn't matter."

"I'm very bad, Kim. Things are very bad."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Your *disco days* should've been *done* quite a while back, lieutenant-yefreitor."

6. "What happens now, Kim?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I honestly don't know."

"You don't… know?"

"But... I don't know either."

"Good, because I totally do."

KIM KITSURAGI - "We can't talk to Evrart, the harbour is in lockdown -- everyone in there is outside our grasp now. Joyce has left too, thanks to our meddling."

"You don't think it was a good idea?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't know what to think. It might not have been a *bad* idea. There is a *pin* somewhere in the machine. Something is keeping Krenel from sending in a death squad..." He looks out the window.

"Maybe it's her? Maybe she kept her end. Either way, Ruby's gone. And Klaasje too. We really should have arrested her, you know."

"Wait. You've checked? She's really…"

"Who did it then, Kim? Who killed the hanged man?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Garte confirmed she left 20 minutes prior to the tribunal showing up."

"Who did it then, Kim? Who killed the hanged man?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't know. I think the theory you presented -- it's someone else, outside our circle of suspects -- was right. It'd better be. Everyone within the circle is either dead or gone."

"Honestly I think our investigation has not produced a single credible suspect." His voice is calm, matter-of-factly.

"This is because I'm a La Puta Madre's peone, isn't it?"

"The fucking *May bells*, Kim, the flowers."

"What about the hole in the… ouch… wall? Someone was checking her out."

"The god damn footprints!"

"There's still a... 28% possibility the shot came from a distance."

"An antique bullet... from a Belle-Magrave, 4.46 mm. How hard can it be to find one? How hard can it *be*?"

"There are all these… old bunkers and weapon caches. Revolutionary era!"

"Something is creeping around out there. I sense it."

"You know what I think about... solving crimes?" (Conclude.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Don't be narcissistic. Half the cops in Revachol West are his *peones*. Even if you are, it is not a decisive factor in this case."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - That does make (some) sense.

2. "The fucking *May bells*, Kim, the flowers."

KIM KITSURAGI - "What?"

(Yank it out and show the dried flower, while it falls to pieces.) "This one, remember?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Every piece of garbage in the city is not connected to the case. You don't have to keep *everything*."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - He's wrong!

"No, Kim. Every piece of garbage in this city *is* connected to the case."

"Okay."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Okay," he concedes -- clearly not meaning it.

3. "What about the hole in the… ouch… wall? Someone was checking her out."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't know..." He rubs his neck. "That's been there for years."

4. "The god damn footprints!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes." He says. "God curse the footprints -- not solving the case for us. *Au diable*."

5. "There's still a... 28% possibility the shot came from a distance."

KIM KITSURAGI - "We should go upstairs, rethink the ballistics *in situ*." A light nod, through some pain. "I agree with this. What else?"

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - See? There's that. You can do ballistics!

6. "An antique bullet… from a Belle-Magrave, 4.46 mm. How hard can it be to find one? How hard can it *be*?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's *extremely* easy. There are thousands lying around, *we* found one. All completely unusable. It's precisely how easy it is to find one that makes the bullet useless."

7. "There are all these... old bunkers and weapon caches. Revolutionary era!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "We could find thousands more if we wanted. All of Revachol is full of them."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - But they seemed so mysterious.

"I can't believe they're fucking useless!"

"I'm just gonna say nothing…"

KIM KITSURAGI - "No need to be melodramatic."

8. "Something is creeping around out there. I sense it."

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is?"

"*Something*."

"Nothing."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Something," he repeats. It does not sound like he's enthused about this *some-thing*.

Well, it looks like we have exactly *one* viable lead left.

9. "You know what I think about… solving crimes?" (Conclude.)

KIM KITSURAGI - He arches his brow -- the ceiling fan patiently spins overhead.

"Solving crimes is hard."

"Solving crimes is almost impossible."

"Solving crimes is super easy."

"Actually, I want to talk about this crime some more, before I tell you what I think about its hardness."

KIM KITSURAGI - "It really is *very* hard."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He sounds surprisingly weary.

"You're not ready to give up, are you?"

"That's right. Let's give up. Time to start drinking."

Say nothing.

KIM KITSURAGI - "No." There's a short pause. "Are you ready to limp?"

7. "I'm ready." (Conclude.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Good." There's a pause. "Where do you want to limp to?"

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - A gust of wind blows in from the bay, the duraluminium box around you vibrates imperceptibly... a familiar cold, a red thread on the roof upstairs. Taut. Plucked like a string by the gust.

"We should check Klaasje's room, upstairs."

"Let's just aimlessly wander until a clue presents itself."

"I don't know."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Why not..." He extinguishes the cigarette on the sole of his boot.

"Another look at the window perhaps -- the one he was shot through? I don't know... I can't think of anything better."

New task: Inspect the window in Klaasje's bedroom

[thesoulesscollection]

Ellie & Henry; An Unbreakable Bond

Hello. I don't have much in the way of request but I do have two ideas all involving Ellie so likely separate oneshots

#1: An alt ending to an existing scenario or your own scenario where Ellie dies and Henry witnesses it (Think of it as Ellie's version of the "Valiant Hero" ending) the circumstances are up to you it could be Henry and Ellie on their own, them being members of the tophat clan (or Henry as the leader) or them being the good guys with Charles possibly in the story I'm fine with either route

#2: Henry after escaping the wall stops and with hesitation turns around and heads back for Ellie feeling a twinge of guilt for using her and leaving her behind

This one was a lot of fun for me to write even if it took me a while. Down below are the tags for each prompt;

1) Tw/Tags: Toppat Recruits, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Little To No Comfort (Depends On How You See It), Major Character Death, Blood, Emotional Distress, Mild Mentions Of Depression, & (RoseMin) Relationship Can Be Seen As Platonic Or Romantic

2) Tw/Tags: Developing Friendship, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Inner Turmoil, Complicated Relationships & Hopeful Ending 

1)

This isn't supposed to happen. It was never part of the game. Nobody is meant to die in this timeline. Not anyone that he particularly cared for but not her. 

Not Ellie. His best friend and companion in crime. 

She was meant to be here with him. After all they went through together she shouldn't be ripped from his grasp. 

Until now she was. Forever gone and he isn't able to change it. He didn't know what to do, even witnessing her totally preventable, and irreversible demise took its toll on him. It was his fault. He could've done something to stop it from happening though it was yanked out of his hands. 

Said hands are shaking as he kneels down to her still warm corpse. The death rattle having been seared into his brain. They fist up then relax, clutching tightly like a vice on Ellie's bloodstained shirt. 

It wasn't until much later, realized the severity of what had been done, that he's screaming his lungs out, crying, and in such a frenzied state nobody can get him out of it for hours on end. 

Afterwards, when someone else in the clan, he couldn't tell who it was, had managed to tear him away from her, he was somewhat able to cool down. He's put in a safe place, alone per his weepy wish to cope. 

She was dead because of him. 

She choked on her own blood, withering in awful pain because of his mistakes. 

Her gorgeous eyes once full of love and pride stared at him with a glassy unfocused haze, fresh with her own tears as life slowly slips from her. 

It was torture knowing he was alone again as he's left to wallow in his misery. Often he laid in the same bed she would lovingly and so carefully drag him out of when he himself was too depressed to get up. 

But nobody was there to do that. No one who does it like her. They tried, surely in their own unique way however it wasn't the same. Him and Ellie had a specific deep bond. 

So it was difficult accepting her death, a slow progression, and it was a hard pill to swallow, that's for sure. 

In the unfortunate circumstances, he noted in a rotten grimace, that there's nothing he can do besides sucking it up. At the start, a few days after Ellie's death, he didn't try, instead played ignorance. His words exact, rarely he does speak, will only consist of the topic that she will come back to him in some shape or way. 

Eventually, people grew tired and left him to his devices, he understood why. Still they did try their best to be a shoulder to lean on if he allowed them. For some, he did do that when he couldn't fight anymore. Oftentimes he was eerily silent, still crying but it eluded him once he realized that no longer did anything come out. 

And so he stands on the special balcony for the orbital station that's shielded nicely with a thick, sturdy glass. The void of space colored in blacks, blues, purples and his favorite, red was refreshing as it is a daunting beauty. His sore eyes were dry when he wiped his sleeve across them, sniffling and wincing a bit at the slight pain. He grips his shaking hands on the banister, breathing deeply through his nose as he watches the larger than life twinkling stars hover above him. 

He is going to get better for his sake. Ellie's even since he knows she wouldn't stand for this. 

***

2)

Regret seeps in like poison. Henry was used to being alone, always on his own. So when climbing through the vents and popping out, he hesitates to move forward. It wouldn't be the first time he betrayed someone or had the same happened to him. 

Though this was different. Somehow unlike the times he did this, Henry felt bad. Guilty. 

In a world, cruel and unfit towards people like him and coincidently her as well should know better better to blindly trust. That's why he did what he'd done without having looked back to see her reaction as his experiences with the same hardened him. 

She was down on her luck. Just like him but she entirely gave up. He still had his fight in him. That's why he's here to begin with, right behind two guards chattering away unaware of his presence, while deciding what to do next. About to make a break for it.

Maybe he should head back just for the heck of it. What would go wrong? 

So he did, begrudgingly, mind you, he wasn't used to this. 

Once he returns to the hole in the ceiling, he cautiously peeks over, taking in the scene of the redheaded woman now curled up in the furthest corner. In the room already so empty and cold, near the door, is the warden’s right hand looking straight ahead, again unaware. 

Softly he makes a noise in order to get her attention which she wasn't bothering to try, even ignoring to seemingly in his growing annoyance. The redhead must know he's here for her. 

He's just trying to help her! In some way he was trying to apologize and that's rare for someone like him anyways. 

As the thief resists the urge to hiss louder or even cut his losses and turn back, he hooks his feet on the hanging staircase. Why it was there is beyond him. Then he curses it upon losing his footing, falling to a crumpled heap in front of the shocked woman. 

Before long he stumbled on his feet, she was gobsmacked to see him as he grabbed onto her arm. Unsurprisingly, the warden’s deputy noticed, stormed into the waiting cell, seeing that Henry was without his cuffs. It won't be long when the true shit goes down so he'd have to rush for it. 

Hope for the best outcome as this wasn't his plan. 

With her in tow, forcibly behind him, he made a beeline to the door. He may be a scrawny guy at least compared to the other man but he isn't a literal pushover. Thankfully, as by pure luck it remains at his side too once he barrels past, knocking the other down with ease. Another surprise to him is that she's running alongside with little resistance.  

The blaring noise of sirens rings in his ears seconds later. He kept going, huffing from the exertion and the mild irritation that throbs in his head. Soon he takes a sharp turn down the hallway, a path chosen in his mind. 

It won't be his smartest, cleverest ones out there, just one that would work for right now at this moment. At the hall's end, close to an office, he slams a fist into a circuit board on the wall, all in the dwindling hopes it's the right choice. 

The door slams shut so it was to his relief. 

He lets go, turns to face her, when he does is instantly met with an angry scowl, and a cold glare. Worse, he is caged in and she can do anything to him. She doesn't, instead stands there, hunched, in stiff silence, except for her ragged breaths filling the air. The cuffs that completely covered her hands so that may be the sole reason why.

In his hesitancy, Henry steps forward, hands up in faux surrender, with no words that he's no threat to her. Eyeing her cuffs then at the room they're in, he notices one, the decently sized trophy likely carrying a heavy weight and secondly, the vent in the ceiling. 

Moments later, trophy in hand, he bashes the cuffs until they drop on the ground broken. In a groan, he steps back, leaning on the table and motions to the ceiling. She runs her free hands together, as if attempting to gather the warmth. 

Of course, she's highly skeptical. Right until he's on his knees ready to boost her up. He doesn't mind being the one to do the lifting this time. She looks around and he knows she's searching for another exit. Then she moves quite quickly, placing her foot on his knee. 

In a flash, the hinges of the vent break apart and she climbs up. 

Henry stands up, dusting off and he hears the sound of people outside the door get louder. 

When he does look up at the ceiling, almost surprised to see she remains there, allegedly waiting, maybe uncertain about the choices laid out for her. It won't shock him whether she takes the grand opportunity to simply leave him behind. 

Until she stretches a hand out for him. 

[yinnyguardian]

Anyone Want A Free Ivara Prime Neuroptics Blueprint? TwT

Giving away a free Ivara Prime Neuroptics Blueprint to anyone who needs it after I felt too bad to turn down an extra <3 (FCFS)

(Well as free as Warframe allows. You will have to trade at the very least a throwaway trash item/mod due to Warframe not allowing completely free trades)

Ok so a little story behind as to why I'm giving it away IF YOU WANT! It's a long read with a very small very vague spoiler nearer to the top and I overdramatized the fuck outta this to make it fun to read LMAOOO

If you want the over dramatized context, click "Keep Reading" >:3

It was yesterday, specifically sometime between 12-2 AM. I got onto Warframe, ready to play a bit before getting settled for bed... However... A Mistake was made.

Simaris popped up. The daily stuff restarts around 8-9 PM for me. He's offering his Tenno Slav- I mean Hunter a reward. An offering of three choices. Two different types of Rescource Boosters and whatever the fuck the last one was (I wasn't paying attention).

I had my eyes on the prize and totally forgot I wouldn't even be able to use them fully since I'm doing this before going to bed in like an hour or less. I was basically biding time for my sleep pills to set in. But that didn't stop me.

Instead of closing the game to pick the next day... I foolishly took the Rescource Booster that gives you extra resources upon pick-up! Worse still, it didn't even dawn on me the mistake I had made as my attention fled to the yellow marker. The Kinepage had updated.

I rushed over, ready to see what it said. And after reading it I smiled to myself, happy to have experienced such an update, as small as it was.

However that happiness didn't last as I finally remembered and realized my mistake when my eyes darted to the bottom of my screen... To the clock.

I gasped and rushed to the Navigation, quickly opening the first mission I could think of! An Alert. Maroo had another hunt for me. I quickly took her mission, ready to get that Ayatan Treasure and some Argon Crystals I had been waiting on a Resource Booster for... Not realizing it would end in disaster!

I typically only ever get 1 or 2 Argon Crystal spawn ins per round. So I was expecting 4 Argon Crystals at most! How foolish I was. I looked in abject horror once the mission was complete. 10. 10 Argon Crystals.

I rush over to the Foundry, praying I would have enough blueprints! Alas it was in vain. By the end I still had 6 Argon Crystals. But it was going on 2:30 AM and I was tired. Sleep had found it's way to me. Knowing that I had by 12 AM the next night, I went to sleep and prayed I'd be able to get the blueprints the next day.

Today came and I quickly hopped on Warframe while pulling up the list of Blueprint needed for such a task. I decided to focus on Relics. AKA Prime Frames and/or Weapons. Specifically any of the common variant that I didn't already own... But my supply was thin and time was ticking.

By the way one of the relic packs I was opening...? Yeah the reward I wanted was a common. I opened 4 of them. Didn't get the specific reward I want. You wanna know what I did get? I got the uncommon. How the fuck did I get an uncommon before the common? It's like the game knows like "Oh hey you want this? This should be easy-to-get reward? Yeah? Too bad you don't get it >:)" LMAOOO

Cough

Anyway.

As I watch my relics deplete that had those specific blueprints with only one success, leaving me with 4 Crystals left, I felt hopeless... That was until... I noticed my plat and remembered... Yes... Yes the Warframe Market! That would be my saving grace upon such a troubling time!

I rush over to the Market Website and scanned prices of the blueprint! First one went by quickly! Baruuk Prime systems! Only two more Argon Crystals left.

Next one I set my sights on was the Ivara Prime Neuroptics. I sent a message and after about 5-10 minutes with still no response, I decided to throw out another hook. This time a fish caught it. I smile widely as the second person gets back to me. They took me to the dojo, we did the trade, and I finally could rest knowing my Argon Crystals would not fall into waste... Or so I thought.

However... As I enter an easy capture mission on earth, a throwaway mission for my sights had set on Nora Nightwave's Complete 15 Mission quest... I got a message. The first person had been AFK. Which was fine! I constantly find myself distracted and/or AFK and accidentally leave any potential buyers to wait on complete accident. However they ask the question... Do I still need the neuroptics. I didn't...

So naturally I said yes I do!

Now this might sound stupid, however I felt bad. If I had just waited yet another 10 minutes this poor person could have gotten plat instead. And again, I quite know the feeling of accidentally making a buyer wait for a response only to be too late. You tend to feel awful.

As I rush through the mission so they can give me an invite to their glorious dojo, they kept being super sweet and kind. As the trade commenced, I paid and looked upon the familiar neuroptics, still no clue with what I'll do with such a thing.

Obviously I couldn't resell it even if I did do it for cheaper than original price. That would be wrong. But as I sat and wondered, clicking accept and finalizing the deal... I realized what I must do!

I said my thank you's and farewells to the individual before coming here and any other possible places I might post (Idk where else for now).

So I offer to anyone who wants it who doesn't already have Ivara Prime Neuroptics... The blueprint. Completely free You, unfortunately due to how the trading system in the dojo works, will have to offer something in the trading place but it can just be a throwaway junk mod (Like Revenge, Ammo Drum, Pressure Point... Just something that you can get really easily and don't use/need much). I apologize for this inconvenience TwT

[matthewmurdockswife]

Chris taking care of you when ur sick?

Chicken noodle soup and an eyelash curler Chrissturniolo x sick!reader

It was clarified that this was abt chris sturniolo but this is so funny to me cause im sick rn so this is like perfect timing

I had been pent up in my room these last two days I thought it was allergies but my cough and scratchy feeling throat put this theroy to rest. I was sick I hated being sick so much. I was supposed to hangout with my boyfriend Chris but I really dont want to get him sick hes been so busy recently and the last thing he needs is a stuffy nose on top of it I texted chris last night and told him I couldn’t hang out tomorrow because I was sick and I didnt want to get him sick I woke up this morning to the sound of the keys jangling in the lock of the apartment door I grabbed my eyelash curler from my side desk I needed something to protect myself until I could get to the kitchen or out of my house I stood up dizzy a mix of my fever and laying in bed for the past 32 hours combined causing me to stumble. I walked against the wall and made it to the kitchen noticing a man standing in there I shrieked and threw the eyelash curler and then froze in place waiting for a reaction I was in complete shock when I saw Chris turn around laughing “what was that for” He asked barely getting through the sentence he was laughing so hard “I thought someone broke into my house, sorry” he had calmed down his laugh a little bit until he noticed what I had thrown and he broke out in a fit of laughter all over again “ what was an eyelash curler supposed to do” I groaned and walked over to my couch to sit down my body felt heavy and weak and I couldnt carry myself around anymore my head was spinning, my nose was still stuffed and my voice kept coming and going along with my sore thoat. “ what are you doing here” i asked my sickness evident in my voice “ taking care of you” chris awnsered smiling at me from above the couch handing me 2 advils and a little water bottle “chris I dont want you getting sick” I tried to wave him off but he ignored me entirely instead taking my temperature and telling me to take a nap I woke up to chris watching tiktoks in the chair across from me and with chicken noodle soup, dayquill and another bottle of water on the table infont of me I took the pill and almost finished all of the water “chris you dint have to do this” Once again he brushes me off while I eat the soup he takes the dishes and cleans them and then brings me back up to my bed “ do you want cuddles?” He asks softly stroking the hair from out of my face with a lobsided goofy grin “ I dont want you sick chris” I persisted “thats the last thing im worried about love” he slid into the sheets on the other side of the bed and pulled me into him I fell asleep like that and the next week when I was better and chris got sick I made him chicken noodle soup and cuddled him as well despite every protest he made.

I hope this is what you wanted its like 1 am and im straight up delirious rn amd my throat is killing me but worth it anywho drink some water love y’all <3

[mango-jpeg]

st elmo's fire and drop the knife notes

(i wasn't sure at first if i would make these posts again this year (like.. get a new bit bro) but ultimately i do think they're helpful for me so i'll stick w it for now)

i don’t remember much about persona 3 from playing it 15 years ago. basically all i remember is 1) being obsessed with akihiko 2) sobbing like a baby when i finished it @ 2 am 3) the crackly, fuzzy quality of my old tube tv

anyway i also don't remember writing much of st elmo's fire bc i was so inside it the whole time. i did think more about structure for both fics, i think that's something i'm going to focus on more this year

sidenote: i read chuck palahniuk's consider this in jan which was a great read on its own and also gave me lots to think about re: writing, and influenced me/my thinking for both of these fics

additional sidenote: coming to terms w the fact that the style of writing i enjoy most + would like to imitate works best in first person but i do not want to write or read first person fanfiction

for the first time i wrote drafts/outlines of almost every scene in my notes app then wrote them out fully in docs, which it turns out is a good way to do things

past tense? again?? who am i.

st elmo’s fire wrote from feb 6-7? to feb 25

this is maybe the most for me and only me thing i’ve written. i’ve wanted to write an awkward morning after pill scene for so long

looked up their personas bc i was curious about their mythology and obviously seized on the st elmo’s fire thing

(i thought it'd be cool to include a bit of magic in a fic that otherwise ignores all the canon magic)

this fic was my way of reaching back thru time to my horrible teenage self + saying you’re gonna be ok kid

reading:

I Have Some Questions for You, Rebecca Makkai

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

Heartburn, Nora Ephron

listening: st elmo’s fire (approx 40 times a day), hold it in

fav early bit i wrote: the whole paragraph about shinji’s boobs a fav late addition:

Inside the air was dry and charged; Akihiko was sure if he touched Shinji he’d spark. He felt the kind of calm certainty he usually felt only before matches, when he knew the result would be in his favour.

drop the knife wrote from feb 21 to mar 10

i have sequel disease. once i've written the long 'figuring out the characters' fic i neeeed to write another one. i think it's getting worse actually, i think i might have trilogy disease (write one long standalone and immediately want to write 2 related works)

the kind of cooking i do is soup. if i had things my way this is the only food we'd eat. this made writing the recipes a huge pain in the ass bc i do not think shinji is a 'throw everything into a pot and let it figure itself out' kind of cook

took the key lime pie recipe straight out of the last chapter of heartburn. idk if this is really the ‘right’ dessert but it’s the kind of food i’d actually make and i wanted to include one heartburn recipe

i thought writing aki instead of akihiko for the whole fic would be annoying and then switching between the two became a way of reflecting shinji's attempt at putting distance between them ie. thinks 'aki' in the abstract, and when his guard is low. idk how much that comes thru in reading but i made the attempt

reading:

Heartburn, Nora Ephron (i reread chapters for 3 weeks. i loved everything about this book. i’m codependent on it now.)

Wallflower at the Orgy, Nora Ephron

Tokyo Ueno Station, Yu Miri

Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut

listening: sore, knife, i got heaven

fav early bit:

Aki looked at him. He was within arm’s reach and his face was soft in a way it rarely was, his eyes large in the dark. Shinjiro wanted him in ways he’d given up on long ago, wanted him bloody and beneath him, wanted him laughing and leaning in to close the distance.

late addition:

Aki was like one of those dogs bred to rip prey out of their burrows or drag sleds across the tundra; being forced to stay inside was torturous, he needed something he could sink his teeth into.

took me ages to come up with a title, i didn’t even have a working one. found the poem oxygen when i went searching and i liked the phrase drop the knife bc knives are used in cooking (lol) + implies being disarmed + the poem has the sort of half of my soul vibe these guys have goin on

[icariathebard]

The Arkham Hellion: Year One

Chapter 1: The One Where Everything Worked Out (Part 3)

Characters: Connie Inviglio (oc), Dante Spectre (oc), Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow. Emril Griffith (oc, mentioned), Connie Inviglio x Jonathan Crane (slight)

Warnings: Language warning, dark themes, psychoanalysis

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: okay i know i tagged this as Crane x Connie but like it only sets the foundation for it here

———————

Connie stopped by her apartment first. She had thirty minutes until she had to be at the station, and she needed to feed her dog. Bilbo came bounding towards her, his fluffy tail wagging with excitement. Her shift at GCPD ran from 3 to 8, mirroring the hours she worked at Arkham, from 9 to 2. She was going to get home late tonight, so she fed Bo half of his dinner early. As she looked at her calendar in between shifts, she realized that her shift ended at 8 (way past when her parents would be enjoying dinner) and that right after she needed to get to the university for her class. A lot of her credits came from her work with the police and at the Asylum, but there were still a couple of classes that would help round out her degree and assure her future doctorate. Her class would be at nine, end at ten, she’d be home at ten thirty, and she could sleep. 

Today was Thursday for Miss Caroline Inviglio, which is why she had her night class with Dr. Crane. In the morning, she’d have to get up early to attend her positive psychology class, work her shift at Arkham, but she wasn’t needed at the station on Fridays, so she instead had a lecture, a self defense class, and the evening to herself to complete school work. Saturdays had no shifts, another self defense class and a kickboxing class, but then she’d have the rest of the day. Those were the days she’d take Bilbo out for walks, go to the park or maybe visit a cemetery and leave flowers at each grave. Sundays were more classes, more lectures, another walk, and then work would resume on Monday. 

Connie worked hard. She took her pills, minded her diet, and crammed as much effectiveness into her independent life as she could. Once upon a time, she was trapped with a family with animosity towards each other, surviving through mental illness and before that, living paycheck to paycheck in uncertain households. She never would have seen herself with the life that she had now. A dog, steady work, an abundance of education and the willpower and time to train her body to fight. Rest may have been limited, but she earned every bit of it, and didn’t regret the life she had. 

At 3:01 pm, Connie had parked her car, and five minutes later, she had her ID on and had checked in at the front desk of the Gotham City Police Department. 

"Ms. Inviglio?" a voice asked, and upon turning around Connie was faced with one of the most attractive men she had ever met.

"That's, uh, that's me." Her mind raced to keep calm, but very attractive people, men in particular, had a way of causing her common sense to falter. Women she felt more confident around, more encouraged to impress and befriend, but men were intimidating.

He had odd features, not the kind one would typically describe a perfect man- no square jaw, chiseled features, sharp nose, or piercing eyes. Quite frankly, his features could almost be described as soft, with a rounded jaw and no overly pronounced chin, thin lips and dark brown eyes. When he extended his hand for a handshake, she gripped it with a firm and confident shake, despite her trembling. The softness of his hands caught the hopeless romantic that Connie was off guard. 

A tattoo of a sun or star, some design that looked pagan but she wasn't familiar with, was tattooed on the side of his neck, and delicate symbols and shapes were tattooed on the back of his hands. A large windbreaker-type coat swamped his broad shoulders, and underneath that he wore a black shirt and a gold chain. His hair was shaved on the sides and slicked back. 

The man may have had gentler facial features and pianist's hands, but his time as a detective in Gotham wore him into the focused, grizzled and bitter cop before her. His eyes were dark and shadowed, and his thin lips were pulled into a hard line.

"I'm Detective Spectre; Commissioner Gordon said you'd be arriving. You're our intern?" Even his voice was pretty, and Connie struggled to compute how to maintain social etiquette. 

"I'm, uhm, yup. That’s me. I’m doing criminal profiling, yknow, ha..." Her father was an attorney and before that, a soldier. She gained a lot from growing up under him, and one of them was the lift of her chin, the squaring of her shoulders and her hands resting stiffly at her side when she was faced with a superior. 

The detective regarded her carefully. "I'm told you work with Dr. Griffith?" 

"Yes, sir." 

As the detective lead her down to her place in the forensics lab, Connie used her inhaler. Her hammering heart and nerves did not help the scratch and ache in her lungs. It confirmed a theory she had once told a friend - that attractive people were bad for her health. Once Dt. Spectre explained his expectations for her work on his case, he left, and Connie’s focus returned. 

Connie did see her dad when he came by the station to receive evidence; and she also noticed how it came from the Commissioner himself. It wasn’t hard to see the truth- that Batman was involved. In almost every aspect of her life and career, he was. Maybe, she’d get to see this fable of a man for herself, but until then, she regarded him as a resource for the criminal-justice system, and kept neutral opinions on the morality of his existence. Michael and Connie exchanged a hug, and Connie apologized that she would have to miss dinner to complete her work and make it to her class. Returning home was rescheduled for Saturday, when her mother Seanna would make her famous red rice.

Work went smoothly from there. As a forensic, she assisted a witness in Dt. Spectre’s case in sketching a depiction of the criminal. If the GCPD wasn’t so understaffed, Connie wouldn’t have any involvement in forensic art, but she was more than qualified to provide the service. As the witness struggled to describe her assailant, she shook, stammered and contradicted her own statements. Connie had to calm her down repeatedly. Connie then had to write out a rough description of what kind of person would be inclined to commit certain crimes - profiling. The assailant for Spectre’s case was the most interesting, because Connie deemed him to be a complete sociopath, and what behaviors and mannerisms he’d exhibit. Once Connie submitted her report and finished up other necessary paperwork for other cases, she finished her shift at 8.

Cold barbecue pizza, feed and pet the dog, double check on the plants, grab your lanyard. Four things, just a quick stop at her apartment, and then Connie was heading out again. Leftover pizza was not the most nutritious dinner, but it would tide her over for her class. She technically didn’t need to take this class, but of all the classes that could have given her credits, this one was the most interesting. A lot of students didn’t like Dr. Crane or his class, and found him creepy, but Connie gave him the benefit of the doubt and deemed him an eccentric; additionally, in a class about fear, creepy things would inevitably be the topic of discussion. 

Connie took this class despite its reputation, because understanding the psychology and behaviour centered around fear would inevitably assist her work at Arkham. It certainly helped Crane, who also worked at the asylum; his office was just down the hall from Dr. Griffith’s. She found Dr. Crane attractive in a way, but he was strange and intimidating, so it was much easier to dismiss, but she still found herself admiring him. He was dedicated to science and his work, and he had succeeded in his career. That gained her appreciation far more than his elegant features and cold blue eyes.

She made it to the campus early. After walking across the courtyard of Gotham University, going up a flight of steps and walking across the building, she found Dr. Crane’s classroom. Twenty minutes to go, and the door was closed. Not wanting to disturb her professor before he opened the door, she found a seat on the floor against the wall, and checked her phone. There were too many texts, messages, emails and notifications waiting for her; over ten hours since she was able to really check her phone, and Connie marveled at how work now distracted her from the device, and not vice versa. 

Several of the messages were from Camille Gutierrez, her friend from before Connie moved to Gotham, who moved there as well pursuing her acting career. Most of it was videos that Cam found funny, and others were updates on her life. Connie took the time to respond as appropriately as she could. 

“Hello, Caroline,” a voice said suddenly, and Connie jumped, jerking her eyes upward and swearing under her breath. Her gaze landed on Dr. Crane, thin and cold as always, looking down at where she sat. As her heart rate settled from the jump, Crane smiled. With one thin finger, he pushed his clear glasses up his nose, and regarded his frightened student with a remote intrigue.

“Dr. Crane!” Connie finally said once her thoughts were gathered. “Excuse my language.” 

Connie stood and gathered her bag, brushing herself off and straightening her shirt. 

“You’re early.” 

“Traffic wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.” 

Connie squirmed nervously in Crane’s presence, which brought him a mild form of delight. 

“No need to sit in the hall. Come inside.” 

Crane turned back into the classroom, and not wishing to be disrespectful, Connie followed. 

“How have you been enjoying my class, Caroline?” Crane asked as he walked to his desk. This was the most one on one discussion she had ever had with him, and her social anxiety crept in on her. She found her preferred seat in the class, a desk towards the front of the room where she could better see and hear the professor. It wasn’t directly next to Crane’s desk, but it was close enough that Crane could engage in conversation with her.

“I’m enjoying it,” she replied, clearing her throat. “I’m finding it insightful on behavior.” 

“Is that so?” He hummed. “Fear, I have found, is the most potent of neurological reactions. It is stronger than any other instinct.” 

“Even love?” Connie blurted, and when Crane looked up at her with an unamused expression, she regretted it. 

“What good is love to survival? And don’t say reproduction, because love is not needed for that.” 

“For other animals, love and reproduction coexist for a purpose, but not for humans.” 

Crane adjusted his glasses once more before looking at his computer. 

“Not exactly, of course,” Connie rushed to correct herself. “Love is objective and it’s not entirely known if animals feel love, except for like dogs, or maybe dolphins…” 

She laughed uncomfortably under her breath and sat back, curling in on herself. 

“Then tell me. Why do you suggest love?” 

“It- it gives people purpose. Without purpose, there is insanity. I think, uhm, at least. This is more philosophical, though…” Connie reached for her inhaler as she cleared her throat again. 

“And you think the need for purpose is stronger than fear?” 

“I think without purpose, there is no reason to fear anything.” 

Crane looked up at Connie again, leaning forward. 

“Interesting.” 

Silence fell as Connie’s mind raced and Crane studied his pupil. 

“What do you love, Caroline?” Crane asked carefully, breaking the silence. 

“I, uhm. I love my dog, for sure. And my family. And my friends.” 

Crane rolled his eyes. 

“Only living things that give you some sort of validation?” 

“I love my dog because seeing it happy makes me happy.” 

“You keep mentioning your dog.” 

“He’s not human. And I have nothing negative to connote to him.” 

“Do negative connotations negate love?” 

Connie thought over all that had happened in her life, the conflict and divisions and the fighting amongst her family, the distance and grief at missing her friends, the conflict and chaos that tore at her heart for years. At that moment, her pain of the past killed her social anxiety, and she winced.

“I’d rather not go over it. My dog is just an easy example.”

Her family was a weak point, and Crane took note of that. 

“Does your dog give your purpose?” 

“No,” Connie replied reluctantly. “But my dog makes the pay off of work sweeter.” 

“Then what gives you purpose?” Crane gave her one of those strange looks that only he seemed to give, that other students despised. 

“Helping others,” Connie replied steadily. “I can’t heal the world, but there are good people who don’t deserve to be in pain all the time.” 

“Like lunatics?” Crane smirked in amusement. 

“Like the people of Gotham,” Connie shot back, as politely as she could. “If I can understand fear, I can help others overcome it.” 

This elicited a small laugh from Crane, and he slowly removed his glasses. 

“Very well.” 

Other students began to arrive, and the rest of the class went on without anything unusual. She returned home, showered, took her medicine, and went to sleep. With her loyal Bernese pup curled up at her side, she felt safe, and at peace. Things were normal.

That was, until the next morning. She heard it on the news:

Harvey Dent had escaped Arkham.

Taglist: @arts-and-sharks @burnthashbrown27 comment or ask to be added to the taglist!

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Have We Rejected Christ? He Hasn’t Rejected Us

Verse of the day

========================

+Mark 6:3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon? Are not His sisters here with us?” And they took offense at Him.

‭‭=========================

Topic: Have We Rejected Christ? He Hasn’t Rejected Us

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN AFFIRMATION **

I AM ACCEPTING CHRIST

I AM NOT OFFENDED

I AM FREE

I AM A CONQUEROR THROUGH JESUS

********************************

Thoughts

=======================

When Jesus walked this earth, plenty of people rejected him, and they often reminded him where he came from; most of all, they called him out by his name, but we still do that today we reject him, and it’s plenty of reason why people reject him then and rejects him now, it’s because they didn’t want to give up the comforts of life to accept repentance or because they didn’t believe. We do this today when we sin when we pick our desires of obsessive drinking or smoking to find peace. Don’t get me wrong; some people smoke because of pain and such that’s different than smoking to find peace or to not deal with the decisions we have made. REJECTION

We reject him when we take on false philosophies and new age ideas; we reject him when we don’t read or word or pray; we reject his presence, today the world has picked feeling good about themselves over Christ; they have picked to remove the Ten Commandments and prayer and have picked changing science books and health classes to suite peoples emotions. REJECTION

“Matthew 11:6 And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” Jesus was saying here blessed in the ones that never lose faith in me, that never rejected me, that never turn away from me because he knew it would be rumors; he knew that people would doubt and say this or that, but he knew that it would be people that will love him and accept what he says and apply it and change, it was sinners that sat with him not the Pharisees or the Sadducee no not them those where some of the people that reject him, it’s people today that know the way but rejects it because they want to be part of the world they want to be famous and known and have Facebook status and Instagram status but what status do you have in God where is your heart in God ???

“1 Peter 2:4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,”

We come to the living stone; every day, we as believers come to the stone everyone rejected, but God has chosen; God chose his son to save us from our own selfish ways and our mindsets; he wanted to save us from what we thought was true, he wanted to save us from what we felt we needed, and honestly we all are searching for him, it doesn’t matter how long you have been serving it’s about to do you accept his teaching, it’s about to do you change what he says is wrong, or do you continue to deny and reject his call and his teachings.

Rejection means to dismiss or refuse; how many of us have refused to turn to the living stone and to drink the living water? How many of us reject time with God to watch tv or How many of us reject his presence to over sleep? How many of us continue to go down this path? How many of us continue to reject and reject that one day it might be too late for us?

“John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

**Today, stop dismissing his presence, stop dismissing his word, because that’s why we have the problems; we have anxiety and depression because we are too busy holding on to things to fill us. Instead of letting him fill us, we let prescription pills fill us, then him; we allow our liquor and other things to fill us, then him, because it’s instant. Right, but what do we turn to when those things don’t work? Jesus is the only way to peace; he’s the only way to deliverance; he’s the only way to joy! ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

Prayer

========================

Heavenly Father, thank you for today; thank you for life, health, and strength; Father, we don’t want to reject Christ anymore; we don’t want to reject his love anymore, Father, we don’t want to reject Him. Father, thank you for giving us mercy and grace every day; thank you for saving us from ourselves. Lord, every day we look for you, and we need you to help us change! We need you to be our best friend, Father; we need you more than anything in this world; Father, protect the ones that have a fear of leaving their home, a fear of being in public places; lord, we ask you to cover them in your blood to top of their head to the souls of their feet in Jesus Mighty Name Amen.

========================

Reference

========================

+John 3:19-20 And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. 20 All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.

+Mark 12:30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.

+Hebrews 4:15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

========================

Further reading

=========================

Deuteronomy 32:28-52

Luke 12:35-59

Psalm 78:56-64

Proverbs 12:24

[gr8whytehype]

U know today I just gotta tell a story 1 of such heartbreak that it killed who I use to be but also is helping give birth to the man I am transforming into in my life I always dreamed of find the woman that completed me my dad always was cheating on my mom ,mom never could hate him or stop loving or give up on him she took a lot of shit when I was 19 my older brother was short paralyzed chest down I was literally 3 ft away changed the course of my life and character for the worse I became heavily addicted to drugs when I say drugs I mean I've done every drug know in existence give or take 3 or 4 been everything from pothead to shooting heroin and pills for next 15 yrs I still am trying to find my purpose brother was short 03 dad tells my mom it's her problem runs off with a highschool sweetheart doesn't try to help or even offer just like that he was gone until 2014 when he was dieing of cancer see dad's family well they split anything that belongs to u B4 u even die he wanted to come back home to be with us ! Yea right they was taking his disability check ,and his meds partying on good stuff tryin to sell the rest he was helpless and no1 to trust except the woman he was married to for 25 yrs had 3 kids to in which 1 became handicap and he left her with plate so full of shit as bad as she was hurt she loved him u could just see it in her eyes she couldn't turn him away which me and my old man couldn't talk without throwing punches since I was 13 but I'm thankful she let him stay I learned some of the most important aspect of who I am I a brief 3 months old man died father's day 2014 wish I would have spent more of my life with him being a son instead of a enemy he had a lot to of knowledge I would need anyways that love that's I been searching for my whole life it feels like even thought I found once 2009 after shay was shot I lost my best friend so I found the needle and thought it killed the pain and if not mY e me found out I had a 3 yr old son that yri was a shit dad never around out getting high but I kept a good job and supported my son with 700 a month I. Child support boy is 17 and already 3 times the man I could ever be lost his mother 2 yrs ago I still think Nikki was making me be a dad got sober of heroin but still speed gots me I'm working progress but I have a bond with Trevor that I am thankful for he got my best genes lol thank God but 09 I met my daug myhter's mother and I fell head over heels in love for once I felt whole inside something no drug or anything had done for me but apparently I didn't notice her until then she I think held some hostel feelings for me over that wfee both were heavy drug addicts when met her just home from prison I think she wasn't even a yr out but she had to kids prior ú another dude within a month I get īhelpecared get them back under same roof lol mom CDChelped raise them there mom was known to disappear for long periods of time she had to love me somewhere she trusted me with her babis so love but çc be pretty much next yrs in a out almost destroyed me as I watched the person I love bc just lose all self love love and I am begging to regress , h

Beginn get5ing to lose hh hi uh be good I love stef she gav6e m6e marleena when u put Marvin my dad lynnlee her mom both cancer the took from atrking on reconnecting with Trevor my oldest and I got 2 Trevor's her son is also named trevor me and stef we wasn't meant to be I guess mm.,

[briellepercz]

✦  SOFIA CARSON, FEMALE, SHE/HER/THEY ✦ BRIELLE PEREZ the TWENTY NINE year old has been in Hidehill for ENTIRE LIFE and was a ENEMY to Miyeon Kang, the murder victim. Whispers on the streets are that the TATTOO ARTIST who lives in HIDE SQUARE are said to be ADAPTABLE and CALLOUS but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves

⸻  𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

Born to a wholly unstable family, Brielle was only four years old when her addict mother took off with the man that lived three apartments down in their complex leaving her father and older brother to raise her.

The two did the best they could but... football, mma and teaching her how to play the electric guitar were about the best that they could offer without any kind of female figure in her life. They managed. ( did u die though? )

Eventually, her brothers angsty teen bullshit turned into resentment and the blame he placed on their father was ultimately the reason he, too, ended up ditching out on them both before he turned 19. Brielle hasn't seen or spoken to him since (this will be a WC. 3-10 year age gap)

But, all of that seemed easy enough to cope with while she had Atticus McClain around to keep her mind busy. Literally inseparable, The kind of best friends that everyone is 800% certain will one day marry each other and say, "why didn't we do this sooner?" Alas..

Before anything could truly make headway between the two, Brielle met Charlie Abbott in high school and everything else was God damn history. Simptown, population 2. To say that the pair were made for each other would have been a pretty close assumption - he the class clown, and her the girl from the "druggie" family that never took anyone's shit (hello screaming matches in classes and the halls. Say it to her face u coward and put up) but still somehow seemed to fit in perfectly with the cheerleading squad and the punk ass music fanatics.

Which all came to a horrifying end when he broke it off with her out of absolutely nowhere. Claimed he'd been seeing other people and she should move on. Honestly, it was as close to being ghosted as a break up might have ever come.

Rip her heart. And Rip all the cute and sociable pieces of her personality that were already pretty fragile. She retreated and realized that she didn't really know who she was or where she wanted to go and fell into a small spiral with the family addiction problems. Fights at school and home with her dad grew worse, she dropped from the cheerleading squad and pretty much isolated herself until she graduated.

To which she then immediately took off to Chicago. Took up an apprenticeship at a tattoo studio and told her dad she was at college instead.

Ensue more drug addled problems. Which ended up causing "issues" in Chicago too. - were not talking hard drugs here - pills, kush and mayhaps some of the white snow.. No needles no crystals.

She's since returned home - right on the heels of the discovery of her most wildly hated teachers/people she's ever met, Miyeon. Anyone with two brain cells could likely remember how horribly they've always clashed.

Is currently setting up shop in town with a new tattoo studio - although how she can afford that is really anyone's guess...

⸻  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

What kind of tattoo artist would she be if she wasn't covered nearly entirely with ink of her own?

Brielle hasn't had a "serious" relationship since Charlie. A few on and off things but nothing that have ever really made her think too much about them. She's very up front about this.

Abandonment issues out the whooza

Has never acknowledged, or realised the teensy tiny long time feels she's had for Atticus. Will she ever? Why ruin a good thing, yanno?

Will always have her hair pinned back via 1 pencil or 1 drumstick.

Doodles on any and all possible flat surfaces. Call it a stim.

That hereditary addiction issue is a real bitch.

Her favourite thing in the world to do is sit out on the fire escape landing outside her apartment window, cat in her lap with a cup of tea with far too much milk and sugar just to look at the night sky. And wonder where it all fucked up.

⸻ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

Siblings: Older brother (wc)

Friends: Atticus Mcclain (best friend)

Childhood friend/in love with: she'll never tell xoxoxo (Atticus)

Enemies: Miyeon

Exes: Charlie Abbott (hs)

Potential Connections.

Flings. Hookups. Enemies. That neighbour that just saw a little bit too much of her home life. Friends she isolated herself from - they watched her change drastically. People she met in Chicago. People who are a little more in the know about her recreational drug habit. Let's get high together and do shitty tattoos on each other pals. Emotional support friend. Pseudo brother. Actual brother (Tommy Martinez, Peter Gadiot).

Legit any connection. The more dramatic the better.

[tcintedsvcrets]

welcome to marina, daniela carvalho ( cis female, she/her) ! they are a twenty nine year old who has lived on the island for twenty two years. word on the street is they’re currently living in Tower Hill and works as a tattoo artist. everyone also says they look a lot like camila mendes. what do you think?

⸻  𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

Born to a wholly unstable family, Daniela was only four years old when her addict mother took off with the man that lived three apartments down in their complex leaving her father and older brother to raise her.

The two did the best they could but… football, mma and teaching her how to play the electric guitar were about the best that they could offer without any kind of female figure in her life. They managed. ( did u die though? )

Eventually, her brothers angsty teen bullshit turned into resentment and the blame he placed on their father was ultimately the reason he, too, ended up ditching out on them both before he turned 19. Daniela hasn’t seen or spoken to him since (this will be a WC. 3-10 year age gap)

But, all of that seemed easy enough to cope with while she had Atticus McClain around to keep her mind busy. Literally inseparable, The kind of best friends that everyone is 800% certain will one day marry each other and say, “why didn’t we do this sooner?” Alas..

Before anything could truly make headway between the two, Daniela met her match in high school, Viktor, and everything else was God damn history. Simptown, population 2. To say that the pair were made for each other would have been a pretty close assumption - he the pariah, and her the girl from the “druggie” family that never took anyone’s shit (hello screaming matches in classes and the halls. Say it to her face u coward and put up) but still somehow seemed to fit in perfectly with the cheerleading squad and the punk ass music fanatics.

Which all came to a horrifying end when he broke it off with her out of absolutely nowhere. Claimed he’d been seeing other people and she should move on. Honestly, it was as close to being ghosted as a break up might have ever come.

Rip her heart. And Rip all the cute and sociable pieces of her personality that were already pretty fragile. She retreated and realized that she didn’t really know who she was or where she wanted to go and fell into a small spiral with the family addiction problems. Fights at school and home with her dad grew worse, she dropped from the cheerleading squad and pretty much isolated herself until she graduated.

To which she then immediately took off to Chicago. Took up an apprenticeship at a tattoo studio and told her dad she was at college instead.

Ensue more drug addled problems. Which ended up causing “issues” in Chicago too. - were not talking hard drugs here - pills, kush and mayhaps some of the white snow.. No needles no crystals.

Is currently setting up shop in town with at the tattoo studio thanks to jesse

⸻  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

What kind of tattoo artist would she be if she wasn’t covered nearly entirely with ink of her own?

Daniela hasn’t had a “serious” relationship since high school. A few on and off things but nothing that have ever really made her think too much about them. She’s very up front about this.

Abandonment issues out the whooza

Has never acknowledged, or realised the teensy tiny long time feels she’s had for Atticus. Will she ever? Why ruin a good thing, yanno?

Will always have her hair pinned back via 1 pencil or 1 drumstick.

Doodles on any and all possible flat surfaces. Call it a stim.

That hereditary addiction issue is a real bitch.

Her favourite thing in the world to do is sit out on the fire escape landing outside her apartment window, cat (pebbles) in her lap with a cup of tea with far too much milk and sugar just to look at the night sky. And wonder where it all fucked up.

⸻ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

Siblings: Older brother (wc)

Childhood friend:

besties: atticus (secret feels)

Enemies:

Exes/flings (nothing serious):

High school sweetheart that ruined her whole life xoxoxo: Viktor

Potential Connections.

Flings. Hookups. Enemies. That neighbor that just saw a little bit too much of her home life. Friends she isolated herself from - they watched her change drastically. People she met in Chicago. People who are a little more in the know about her recreational drug habit. Let’s get high together and do shitty tattoos on each other pals. Emotional support friend. Pseudo brother. Actual brother

Legit any connection. The more dramatic the better.