#you can really tell the impact of certain cast members leaving and them just not knowing what to do overall

[tylerlockwood]

one chicago is genuinely so bad now and it makes me sad

[kingofthewilderwest]

Your tags on the 'whose smarter' poll made me flashback to that episode of DoB. Final ep, I think, Cast Out prt 2? And anyway it literally ends with Snotlout (disobeying Hiccup) and acting recklessly with his plan. Hiccup tells him "You proved sometimes recklessness can be courageous" and I just remember being like "THIS from the kid who took on the Red Death on one dragon with a flammable tail fin. Like the similarity/hypocrisy got me--when Hiccup went after the Red Death he was a hero.

I love this. It's really about framing. The HTTYD series provides us certain narrative perceptions, lenses, by which they have us view the characters. Going outside the lenses to look at characters's actions more objectively, and there's that... bias... haha, yeah!

Hiccup constantly doing reckless things is treated as more permissible by the show's framework. His reckless and/or impulsive decisions are treated as gutsy, genius solutions rather than haybrained schemes. And Hiccup tends to be rewarded for those wild plans narratively by having those succeed.

Even though Hiccup gets semi-called out on unnecessary recklessness in RTTE - like testing a flight suit - it's portrayed narratively to viewers as humorous rather than flaws to learn from (as per Snotlout). And when Hiccup makes mistakes, the narrative treats feedback from "equals" like Astrid or people in greater authority like Stoick as what we viewers should care most about. It's not that Ruffnut, Tuffnut, or Snotlout lack feedback about Hiccup's decisions, but it's not treated as criticially. We're not "meant" to reflect on it, most of the time.

"You just proved sometimes recklessness can be courageous" is so much a part of Hiccup's choices that the phrase could be etched on his tombstone. But it's Snotlout taking a moment of gumption that's called out as so risky it's potentially "dumb." And frankly, across the entirety of DreamWorks Dragons, Snotlout brings up many points of prudent caution.

There's a hierarchy the narrative gives us - Hiccup the leader, Astrid and Fishlegs as "more competent" members of the group, and the twins and Snotlout as "less competent" members of the group (our comedic relief). The narrative wants us to sometimes treat this as a gang of equals, especially by RTTE, but the way conversations and situations get presented, solved, and saved means that this internalized hierarchy never leaves. That means that who the audience members take most seriously gets impacted.

I mean, as you said yourself, it's Snotlout disobeying Hiccup - a word that carries authority, as Hiccup is the leader of the Dragon Club during the early DreamWorks Dragons series. In HTTYD and HTTYD 2, Hiccup disobeying Stoick, while ultimately resulting in good ends, also carries consequences. Hiccup disobeying Stoick resulted in the village nearly getting killed. Hiccup disobeying Stoick brought Drago's attention onto them. But by the TV series, I think Hiccup's disobedience is usually seen as a good (by my shoddy memory), but Snotlout's disobedience is seen as him not being "as good as" Hiccup - but is that actually, objectively the case, outside the show's framing?

I don't have the Freaktastic Knowledge I did in ye olde days of analysis where I could list off three hundred specific examples to prove my points, but this is my memory impressions of the series. Snotlout balks at Hiccup's plans lots of the time - and he doesn't not have a point. In another series, Snotlout would be correctly identifying three hundred things that could go wrong, might have gone wrong, or will actually, in fact, go wrong. But Snotlout as a comedic relief character, and then a defiant character opposing Hiccup the Hero who comes up with the correct plan because he's got protagonist armor... means sometimes Snotlout's legitimate points get lost to viewers.

There's a reason why, even now, ROB's Defiant One's conversation between Hiccup and Snotlout still resonates clearly in my memories.

Snotlout: Oh, you are so smug! Hiccup: Me? Snotlout: Hiccup's so smart! Hiccup's so brave! He killed the Red Death! He trained the dragons! He's got the metal leg! Hiccup: Metal leg? That's what's bothering you? That's where you're going? Metal leg? Snotlout: No! It's everything the leg is attached to!

Snotlout made mistakes in Defiant One. Let's not forget that context. But while Snotlout yelling at Hiccup can be read as Snotlout not being "as good as" our hero Hiccup who saves the day... it strikes me because it shows the imbalance of treatment between Snotlout and Hiccup. "Everything the leg is attached to" is the prioritization of Hiccup and - by this point - Hiccup expecting to be prioritized.

Actually listening to Snotlout is a fantastic way to experience the TV series. He's bitter. He's grumpy. He's defiant. He's downer. But that's because he sees holes. He has a **PRACTICAL** side that butts heads with Hiccup. I'm someone whose thinking processes are similar to Snotlout - it's easier to shoot down a solution for its mistakes than come up with a new one - but it's an important role to have. In an actually existing friendship group, you need someone who's down to earth enough to make sure your out-of-the-box thinking friend (Hiccup) doesn't come up with something so wild it's not really going to work. We need an intelligence that sees holes. Otherwise, we start floating off into things that won't work as we expect them to, or adopting ideas that haven't been tested with robustness.

Snotlout's a legitimately smart guy. The fact that Astrid and the others shoot him down is partially because of his character, partially because sometimes he can be a dummy (as can we all), but partially because of their own flaws. Listen more to Snotlout, y'all. Some of Hiccup's plans work because Luck.

Similarly, we can talk about the framing of Fishlegs spewing facts (treated as providing information) versus the Thorstons spewing facts (treated as a novelty quirk rather than intelligence). Just because the Thorstons do it in a dorkier, more trollish matter does not negate the fact that they are BRIMMING, purely BRIMMING, with an ENORMOUS amount of factual knowledge! Does Fishlegs actually have more factual knowledge than them? No, it's just a different area. He's got concentrated knowledge on dragons. They've got in depth, niche knowledge of a large variety of topics. Fishlegs, Ruff, and Tuff are all dang smart.

From a meta standpoint, the twins's intelligence is treated inconsistently. But I prefer me my smart Thorstons who just have spacey heads, trollish senses of humor, and thrillseeking behavior.

[elendsessor]

I found the character writing in desu2 very… I don’t fully understand why they wrote like half the cast the way they did but the gameplay was good enough for me to complete it, I agree on the sound design points. It should feel more alien-y? or at least several feet to the left of typical strategy video game music

yeah. i’m glad i’m not going insane.

desu2 is a massive improvement in gameplay, presentation, and a lot of its pacing. i prefer seeing the societal collapse like in desu1 instead of jumping right into it, though with how bosses are handled and the extended length in the day really works wonders. it’s much more fun to play and it rarely drags out. it does have some better humor too!!! plus seeing a big bad that isn’t just god or lucifer or any major biblical figures is nice. always appreciated. the story isn’t great but as of the time i’m writing this i haven’t gotten any of the endings so for all i know it gets amazing somehow. there was a lot more effort and i gotta give it that. 1’s narrative is 10/10 still.

the biggest issue outside of the narrative is character treatment, mostly due to trying to pad out the cast as much as possible when most characters don’t make enough of an impact to justify being “major” enough to be party members.

(long post incoming but i really gotta talk about this so i won’t have to make a billion posts about how the game betrayed the characters.)

the issues with desu2’s cast can be best described as a mix between fanservice-focus and not enough focus. the fanbase is what actually gives the mistreated characters life and respect to show what they could’ve been.

most of them serve no plot purpose despite some being pretty interesting conceptually (jungo is definitely an autistic icon and a lovable goof, joe’s the best “everyman” character i’ve seen, fumi doesn’t care, keita doesn’t care and actually has the most motivation out of the rest of the cast save for ronaldo). unless they’re an alignment rep, once the death video comes in or some major story point prior to the big split, they’re effectively irrelevant, likely due to how writing a version of the story where certain characters lived would take a lot of time.

the girls are hypersexualized no matter how interesting their backstories can be. basically ignoring how every girl has to have big tits or some focus on sexualization, airi is actually really interesting and i like what the narrative hints at but she’s made into a tsundere archetype and a loli let’s be honest, otome has an interesting backstory but her design and her introductions are based on “oh look guys hot nurse,” makoto simps for the protag, io is force paired with the protag a lot, etc. the game openly acknowledges the fanservice and pokes fun but that doesn’t suddenly mean it’s unable to be criticized. it’s more excuses to have it and a lazy attempt at a joke.

doesn’t help that most characters are one note. there’s bits of backstory but it amounts to nothing and isn’t reflected in their character much if at all. fumi is a hacker so she’s all about tech and science, io studies so she has to be milk toast, daichi is a coward so it has to be pointed out and never changed, keita’s an asshole who likes to fight, etc.

desu1 isn’t perfect with some of the character writing choices yet it avoids the issue with narrowing down the playable cast and having every character be used to help further push the themes. it shows who’s affected by the lockdown/societal collapse, why that’s bad, and sometimes tell you why it’s happening.

idk most characters in desu2 can be good but the narrative focus leaves them no room to be good.

and on the music and sound design point, god that would’ve been so good and again glad i’m not insane for having issues with the sound effects lol

[maybeclever]

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson- Book Review (Spoiler Free)

Rating: 4.25/5 Stars

This is far from my first Sanderson novel. I have read the entire Stormlight Archive, both eras of the Mistborn series, and most of the secret projects, so I have a pretty good feel for Sanderson's writing in the adult genre. Having said that, I was very excited to start this book, as despite my love for his other works, his prose can be dense and a bit confusing at times-especially in a new setting.

I was pleased by the readability of the novel, as should be expected from a YA book. As usual, Sanderson's worldbuilding is phenomenal, and his characters are well rounded. The main character, Spensa, has a realistic motivating factor and personality traits to match. That said, as much as I can understand why she speaks and acts a certain way, Sanderson pushes it HARD in the beginning. Like, I had to put the book down and take deep breaths hard. I found myself cringing and worrying if Sanderson really knew how to write a young woman (if you read his other books, my worry stems from certain patterns and traits I have seen in some of his few young women- particularly within Mistborn).

As I pushed through that road block, I truly enjoyed Spensa's story and growth. Her tenacity and assertiveness was refreshing, and I really liked being able to explore the true meaning of bravery and cowardice through her eyes and through those of her peers.

The supporting cast was also phenomenal. If Sanderson knows how to do anything, it's writing group dynamics, and I adored the group that was formed within this novel. I laughed with them and cried with them and came to love each and every one of them by the end. I'm a sucker for found family.

Speaking of family, I appreciated her interesting relationship with family. Each of her family members had such a distinctive and nuanced impact on her life, even if some get little screen time. Time will tell just how far these familial traits go.

Unfortunately, I found the ending to be somewhat unmotivating. It was clean and concise, but it didn't leave me RUSHING to get the next book (though I will definitely read it soon). Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a new science fiction YA to pick up. I have high hopes that the future novels will blow me away, just like his other novels.

[eijispumpkin]

On Allegory, Imperfection, and Inadvertent Subversion: A small essay about Akimi Yoshida’s Banana Fish and Salinger’s “A Perfect Day For Bananafish”.

In the story of Banana Fish, Yoshida references Salinger’s short story “A Perfect Day For Bananafish” (which henceforth shall be addressed as “Perfect Day” simply for ease of reading) several different ways, both in-universe and out. It is exceedingly evident that the character of Ash Lynx is heavily based on Seymour Glass, and one might surmise that Banana Fish is an allegorical retelling of “Perfect Day”, especially given that in the original story, Ash Lynx dies of what is arguably a “passive suicide” – that is, when faced with an injury that isn’t immediately fatal, he chooses to bleed out rather than seek help, which when framed as a suicide, parallels the much more violent and sudden suicide of Seymour Glass.

However, this surface-level allegorical reading ignores a very important variable in the story of Banana Fish, namely the counterpart to Ash’s Seymour: Eiji’s Sybil. While Ash and Seymour share many similarities (both are traumatized, troubled geniuses with partly-Irish roots who grew up in New York City), the similarities between Eiji and Sybil are very few. Eiji does symbolize a world of innocence to contrast with Ash’s world of horrors, but unlike Sybil, Eiji is an adult with agency of his own, and though he retains some of Sybil’s childlike innocence and is able to connect deeply with Ash as a result of it, Eiji’s agency and decisions ultimately change the narrative and its meaning.

That is to say, by introducing Eiji as an imperfect Sybil, one who has agency and can actually provide Ash with understanding and support of the kind that Seymour never got from Muriel or others around him (and which Sybil, being three years old, was in no way equipped to provide), Banana Fish directly subverts “Perfect Day”’s original message of cynicism in the face of a material world unconcerned with the horror of lost innocence and its resulting isolation.

To understand what this means, it’s important to first understand the meaning and context of “Perfect Day” and the circumstances in which it was written. “Perfect Day” is a story written first and foremost as a critique of American materialism in the wake of WWII; Salinger echoes the concerns of the Lost Generation before him, in a way, by really driving home the alienation from modern adult life felt by those who were exposed to the horrors and traumas of the battlefields in wartorn Europe, only to return home and find a culture completely removed from it all. Seymour Glass is a stand-in for Salinger himself—Kenneth Slawenski, in his 2010 biography of Salinger, notes that on returning from the European theater, Salinger “found it impossible to fit into a society that ignored the truth that he now knew.”

If that sounds familiar, good, because it should! This is precisely the motif of “Perfect Day” (as well as some of Salinger’s other work featuring members of the Glass family, such as Seymour’s younger brother Buddy, which, as an aside, is a name that might stick out to Banana Fish fans. Whether this is an intentional reference or a coincidence, I can’t say for certain, but given the depth of other references within this allegory, I’m inclined to think it’s intentional).

As a quick summary for those who may need a refresher, “Perfect Day” is a story about a deeply traumatized man who feels isolated from the rest of society because of the weight of the horrors he has been exposed to. Muriel Glass, Seymour’s wife, is the epitome of this: she represents the materialistic culture that Seymour feels so alienated from, always talking about brand-name things and luxuries and upward mobility. Seymour rejects her company in favor of playing the piano for children and spending time on the beach, where he tells three-year-old Sybil Carpenter a story about bananafish, fish that gorge themselves on bananas in holes under the sea until they’re too fat to escape the entrances to these little banana dens, and then they die. Instead of dismissing this story as something bizarre, Sybil claims she sees a bananafish in the water, which endears her to Seymour, until she leaves, at which point he returns to his hotel room and shoots himself in the head.

In “Perfect Day”, this interaction (between Sybil and Seymour) is the center of a set of dualities. Sybil represents the state of childlike innocence that Seymour longs to return to, and because of her innocence, she can “understand” him in ways that the material adults like her mother or Muriel do not. Seymour’s isolation is a product of his society and the lack of support and understanding for traumatized veterans returning from war, and it shows in the way that adults his age cannot connect with him, and he cannot connect with them. This disconnect between worlds is what eventually results in Seymour’s suicide—he can fit neither in the world in which he wishes to be, nor in the one in which he must reside, and it ends in his death.

The question is, then, how does this relate to Banana Fish?

As mentioned previously, Ash Lynx is a very clear parallel to Seymour Glass. He’s a young man faced with immeasurable trauma from which he believes he can never recover, and there is a clear motif of duality in his entire character arc: his world (one of violence and trauma) versus the “normal” world (where innocent people who have “regular” lives may reside). Like Seymour, Ash feels trapped in a world he can’t escape, knowing “the truth” that he knows, about the horrors that people are capable of.

It follows, then, that Eiji Okumura is a parallel to Sybil Carpenter, who represents childlike innocence and a world that Ash longs to be part of but can’t reach. And to an extent, this is true: Eiji is sheltered and innocent, comparing real-life to TV shows and being completely unexposed to kidnappings, drugs, guns, and violence. However, there is a sharp contrast between Eiji and Sybil, one that fundamentally changes the relationship between Eiji and Ash and makes it radically different from that between Sybil and Seymour:

Eiji is an adult, and as such, he has agency of his own.

Unlike Sybil with Seymour, Eiji can make his own choices and face Ash as an equal. Where Sybil is a child who runs back to her mother after playing with Seymour at the beach, Eiji actively and consistently chooses to stay with Ash, over and over. He even explicitly tells Ash “you are not alone”, which is a huge and direct contrast to the message of inevitable, devastating isolation from “Perfect Day”. Whereas Sybil’s innocence serves as a reminder to Seymour of what he’s lost and cannot regain, Eiji’s innocence is a beacon of comfort and companionship to Ash. Eiji is someone with whom Ash can relax and be playful like a boy his own age, as noted by Max and Ibe watching them interact.

This communication and connection are present between Sybil and Seymour, but in a very different way. Seymour prefers to play make-believe and tell silly stories to kids, because he went from being a wide-eyed innocent to being traumatized and longing for a place to belong, and Sybil as a child represents what he wishes he had, while the adults around him (most notably Muriel, his wife) are a world he doesn’t understand that feels false.

This is not the dichotomy of worlds that Ash faces. Ash faces a world of trauma and suffering that he sees himself as trapped in, and a world of peace and security that he thinks is beyond his reach. Where Seymour yearns for a return to innocence, Ash yearns to escape his pain, and the combination of this subtle difference with the effect of Eiji’s agency and the narrative structure of Banana Fish results in a subversion of the themes in “Perfect Day”.

Banana Fish is a long-form narrative, while “Perfect Day” is a short story. Part of the inherent structure of a long-form narrative is character growth and development, which for obvious reasons is much less prominent in short stories. As a result, Eiji’s impact on Ash is clearly visible over the course of the narrative, and it becomes impossible to declare that Ash is firmly rooted in the world he sees himself as trapped in. By the end of the story, even Ash wavers on this assertion; although he ultimately succumbs to suicide, a narrative choice that been criticized ever since its publication, in the moments leading up to his stabbing, he does believe that Eiji is right, or at least right enough that he wants to see him one last time (this is ambiguous and open to interpretation, of course).

Why did this narrative choice spark so much controversy and outcry from fans? Not every story that ends in tragedy is criticized as poorly written for it; examples range from Shakespearean tragedies to “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”, a film in which the entire cast dies in the climax. Yet just about all fans agree that it fit the narrative. Clearly, then, it is possible to craft a story that ends in death and tragedy but still feels well-written. What makes Banana Fish different?

I would argue that the answer lies in this imperfect allegory. By creating a Sybil-esque character that can interact with the Seymour-esque character as equals, can stay with him, and can listen to him and support him through his grief and pain, Akimi Yoshida inadvertently turned “Perfect Day”’s message on its head. The tragedy of “Perfect Day” is Seymour’s isolation. By giving Ash a warm, compassionate relationship in which he is assured over and over that he is not alone, Yoshida upturns this entirely.

Ash is led to believe in this dichotomy mostly by his isolation. He believes that since Eiji is in mortal danger as a result of being special to him, he needs to send Eiji to safety, i.e. somewhere far from him and far from the reach of those who would hurt them both. This isn’t a miscommunication issue or anything of the sort; this is Ash being afraid for Eiji’s life; Eiji isn’t averse to returning to Japan itself. Eiji is averse to returning to Japan without Ash, as he mentions when he talks about how Ash could be a model, and tells him about kami. In establishing this as a consistent tenet of Eiji’s character, Yoshida ensures that Ash is not isolated in the same way that Seymour was.

In addition, Eiji can move freely between both worlds set up in Ash’s perceived dichotomy, a motif made explicitly clear when Eiji leaps the wall to freedom and light at the beginning, leaving Ash (and Skipper) behind in captivity in the dark. Despite this escape from the world of violence and crime, Eiji returns of his own volition and stays with Ash, experiences his own fair share of horrific traumas, and still leaves in the end to return to his world. This makes it clear that the dichotomy is less stark than Ash is led to believe, unlike the repeated validation of his isolation that Seymour receives, and is another reason that the ending of “Perfect Day” is inconsistent with the ending of Banana Fish

A quick sidebar: Banana Fish has no real Muriel, but if pressed, I would posit that the closest parallel to Muriel that exists is Blanca, whose main purpose in the narrative seems to be to reinforce to Ash that he can’t escape the world he feels trapped in and longs to leave. But where in “Perfect Day” Muriel symbolized the materialism of American society after WWII, Blanca has no real established reason to be so invested in keeping Ash down, and in conjunction with the fact that despite his own traumas, he can retire peacefully to the Caribbean, his role in the story falls to pieces entirely. Where Muriel represented a lifestyle that Seymour fundamentally could not reach, thereby reinforcing his isolation, Blanca is supposed to parallel Ash to a degree, but his words to Ash do not match his actions whatsoever.

Therefore, if anything, Blanca’s assertions serve only to strike a contrast with Eiji’s (and Max’s, to an extent, since Max and Eiji both agree that Ash can escape this and they want him to heal). Moreover, Blanca’s relationship with Ash is that of a mentor and a student, a relationship that is shown to be fundamentally unhealthy, given that Blanca willingly worked for Ash’s abuser, a mafia don who he knew trafficked children. Some argue that Blanca was blackmailed into this service, but given that Blanca chose to betray Golzine at the end and work with Ash with seemingly no real provocation or change in his relationship with Golzine, this supposition seems flawed. Blanca’s assertions about Ash and his ability to forge bonds and leave his world the way Eiji does, and indeed the way Blanca himself does, are simply incorrect, and the narrative itself provides us all the tools we need to realize that Blanca is wrong, even without the extended context of a parallel to Muriel Glass.

Returning to the main issue at hand, i.e. that of the imperfect allegorical connections between Sybil and Eiji, and the dichotomy between worlds that Ash perceives, it’s clear that in creating a positive, nurturing relationship between Ash and Eiji rather than a one-off encounter, Yoshida inadvertently created a story about connections rather than isolation. Ash’s attempts to keep Eiji safe from harm by sending him home are countered by Eiji’s assertion that he only wants to go to Japan if Ash comes with him, which is a kind of selfless devotion that reaches through Ash’s isolation until he decides that he won’t try and separate himself from Eiji anymore, which is a massive blow to the dichotomy of his supposed two worlds. This is the narrative acknowledging that both worlds can coexist.

Not only this, but also Eiji, who has his own trauma—he’s kidnapped several times, shot at, drugged, sexually assaulted, attacked with a knife by a drugged friend, exposed to several deaths, shot at people in fights himself, and ultimately nearly killed by a gunshot wound—despite all of this, Eiji is still allowed to exist in the world of peace and regularity. Eiji’s innocence is sharply tempered by traumatic experiences, and he can still walk between worlds. If Eiji, Max, Ibe, Jessica, Sing, Cain, and Blanca can all experience traumas, why is Ash the only one who cannot escape? Is there some kind of magical bar of “too much” trauma, like an event horizon on a black hole?

Obviously, no.

So it comes to this: Essentially, the reason that the ending is so controversial, and why I personally believe that the open ending of the anime is an improvement to the original story, is that the allegory between Banana Fish and “Perfect Day” falls apart because of Eiji’s agency. Ash wants to protect Eiji, and to protect Eiji’s innocence and light, because he feels that it’s beyond his own reach, but Eiji forges a bond with him that is rooted in mutual respect and care, and in doing so, undoes the devastating, painful isolation that led to Seymour’s suicide. This is why Ash’s death can feel so hollow—it doesn’t follow the pattern of “Perfect Day”; after the entire story is about Ash’s bonds and those who love him unconditionally, it feels almost like a shock-value plot twist tacked on, rather than a tragic inevitability.

I don’t believe that Yoshida intended Banana Fish to be a subversion of “Perfect Day”. I believe she meant it as a one-to-one allegory, and this is why she kept the ending as Ash choosing death. However, due to the changes in themes because of the characters and their relationships, Ash is not isolated in the profound way Seymour was, and his death is therefore not nearly as impactful.

[shihalyfie]

02′s influence on Adventure

You’re probably reading the title and going “...what? Isn’t 02 the sequel to Adventure? How would a series be influenced by its own future sequel?”

The thing is, assuming that Adventure was written in a vacuum and everything in 02 a retrofit runs very contrary to how both series were produced, and how this kind of anime is produced in general -- Adventure and 02 share almost identical staff members, and were separated only by a real-life single week in airing time. 02′s existence was not a sudden last-minute decision that was tacked on at the end! In fact, Adventure being extended to a second series was decided seven months into its production, right around the end of the Tokyo arc (sometime around the third cour). Despite it being a rather tonally different series, 02 is really just Adventure’s staff...writing more.

This means that by the time production had moved to Adventure’s final arc, the staff was very aware that they would be on for another year writing a sequel to this anime -- which thus likely became the fuel behind many of its creative decisions, made specifically to pave the way for 02.

The ending

Yeah, so, this ending. You know this really famous ending? The one that’s had such an impact on franchise history that a lot of later things have even tried to imitate it in some form? The one that everyone cites as one of Adventure’s most famous scenes (for good reason)? This ending only exists because of 02. You know what actually would have been Adventure’s ending if 02 hadn’t existed?

The 02 epilogue.

The ending that we now know as the “02 epilogue” was actually decided on before recording for Adventure had even started. (They weren’t even sure about finalizing the character personalities yet!) All of the most substantial details about that epilogue -- the series actually being the adult Takeru’s novel, everyone in the world having a Digimon partner, and, as it seems, even Yamato and Sora getting married -- were decided on before 02 was even in the picture.  Most likely, the only material difference would have been that the four characters introduced in 02 (Daisuke, Miyako, Iori, and Ken) and their partners wouldn’t have been involved, but everything else would have roughly been the same as the “epilogue” we know now. (This especially makes sense when you consider that one of Adventure’s major influences was the movie Stand By Me, which is extremely culturally influential in Japan as a “childhood summer adventure story”, and involves a similar timeskip epilogue with one character growing up to chronicle the story as a writer.) All of this was basically intended to tie into Adventure as a narrative of “a story of humanity’s evolution”, so this ending was envisioned as the “natural conclusion” of the story of Adventure as a whole. If anything from the original Adventure ending would have been retained in this hypothetical scenario of only Adventure existing, perhaps the sentiment of “parting” at the end -- but then it would still be followed by a timeskip epilogue 28 years later and everyone in the world having a partner.

But then it was decided that a second series would be made, and at some point they decided it would be a series set three years after the first, resulting in: this.

What this means is that Adventure’s ending was only ever intended as an ending for a single chapter in the overall Adventure series narrative. A lot of people like to pose 02′s existence or epilogue as something that “undid” Adventure’s ending, as if it was supposed to be some “ambiguous bittersweet” ending about whether they ever met their partners again, but...that ignores the real-life context of Adventure and 02′s production, where Our War Game! (which depicted an easy reunion with their partners, went out of its way to cameo Miyako in advance, and, for all intents and purposes, practically spoiled Adventure’s ending by depicting them as separated at all) screened before Adventure’s last episode aired, and there’s also the Adventure mini dramas that depicted more incidental meetings (and despite the constant fourth wall breaking and absurd crack content in them, yes, they’re intended to be taken as canon).

Again: in real life, the first episode of 02 aired one week after the last episode of Adventure. Even the real-life audience was likely well aware that this wasn’t going to be the end (and if they weren’t, they certainly would be when the promotional trailers for 02 started airing right after Adventure’s last -- and that’s assuming you missed all of the promotion appearing in real life beforehand, including at the end of Our War Game!’s screenings). The production staff all knew, because they’d already been working on 02 for months now -- they postponed their originally intended ending just to make this new one, after all!

So yeah, this line isn’t supposed to be just a vague “oh, maybe they’ll meet again” in an abstract poetic sense -- it’s completely literal, because it’s hinting at said gate opening again one real-life week later.

From both a story perspective and a real-life audience perspective, this ending was never meant to be seen as ambiguous.

Takeru and Hikari’s character arcs

02 often gets an accusation of being lacking in the character development department (one that I seriously disagree with and have been working very hard to counter), but this accusation especially gets levied often at Takeru and Hikari, who are often said to be “flat” or “kind of just there” in 02 (which, again, I object to; more on this below). This is often rationalized as a theory that the writers didn’t know what to do with them because they’d already been in Adventure, but...this, again, assumes too much that Adventure was written in a self-contained vacuum and anything in 02 was just an addition done after the fact.

There’s actually quite a bit of evidence that the last cour (or at least a significant amount of it) was written with the idea that Takeru and Hikari were going to be starring in the next series in mind.

This is especially pretty apparent when you get to the last episode, where Takeru and Hikari are conspicuously the ones to leave off on the most confident “we’ll meet again” notes, compared to the other six. Of course, they do it in their own respective ways (Takeru and Patamon resolve to make it happen, while Hikari cryptically acts like it’s already bound to happen, borderline prophetically), and maybe you could chalk it up to the fact that they’re the youngest and therefore most naive of this group...but, again, remember: 02′s first episode aired one week after this one, where we would immediately be treated to Takeru and Hikari following up on this. Given that, you can basically see this as a wink and a nod: “yeah, these two have a story that’s not over yet.”

And as much as I may sound like a heathen to the fanbase by claiming this, I would actually say that it’s the opposite of the above claim: Takeru and Hikari both have pretty unresolved arcs by the end of Adventure compared to the rest of the other kids, and in fact are fleshed out more in 02. It’s honestly kind of a stretch to say that they “already got development” in Adventure -- Takeru still has a ton of unresolved issues with his family and trauma and emotional behavior that aren’t properly addressed to nearly the same degree as how the older kids have their core issues brought to the forefront, while Hikari really was only around for less than half the series, and not only is her main problem of emotional suppression told purely from Taichi’s mouth and not her own, we also get no real follow-up on how she intends to work past that.

Those are some pretty huge things to leave unresolved at the end of a series that’s known for its focus on individual character development, and considering that the premise of 02 involving an older Takeru and Hikari was likely finalized around the middle of the last arc of Adventure, it’s easy to believe that they decided to deliberately hold off on resolving Takeru and Hikari’s issues in full so that their story could be told in the next series. And, indeed, while their characters being built on “being difficult to read” makes their development not quite as visible as some of the more eccentric personalities in the 02 cast, their respective Jogress partners (Iori and Miyako) more openly discuss and get to the bottom of their issues that had been lightly displayed or hinted in Adventure but never truly been addressed.

A lot of things that were not in Adventure

Adventure was admittedly kind of written as they went along (they didn’t even originally plan to have Hikari as the eighth child at first), so it’s hard to tell exactly what was planned and what was a later addition (and at what point things were added), but considering that the 02 epilogue was one of the first things planned in the entire series, as part of “a story of humanity’s evolution” and tying into a really long theory about partners doubling every year, it’s probably at least safe to say that a lot of the worldbuilding and lore was determined very early.

02 added a lot of lore dumps about Digital World mechanics and things related to the overall state of Chosen Children, which have been said by many to be retrofits to justify a buildup to the 02 epilogue, but, again -- the 02 epilogue was supposed to be for Adventure, so it’s very likely that these lore aspects were intended for Adventure as well! This is especially because it’s been outright confirmed that there were at least certain things originally intended for Adventure that ended up in 02, or at least were in 02 because they felt Adventure didn’t sufficiently cover it:

The kids’ home lives. As famous as the Tokyo arc of Adventure is, it only covered about a quarter of it -- the rest of it was the kids stranded in another world, separated from home! It’s specifically 02 that went into all of the things like school life, family life, daily life in Odaiba, and everything closer to the real world -- basically, everything related to family backgrounds that was very likely to have been in the planning documents for Adventure but never made it.

The (in)famous 02 episode 13 (or, at least, something like it) was intended for Adventure. As much as there’s common speculation that this episode was intended to be some giant subplot that got canned, from what we’ve heard from the staff, the truth actually seems to be a lot more mundane -- Adventure was a series very big on “oddities about the Digital World that have no real explanation” (see: phone booths), and when you reframe it in Adventure’s context, it’s likely that Dagomon and the Dark Ocean were intended to be yet another of those as part of its wider lore about the multiverse, to make you think “the heck was that?” but never get any real answer to. (And while it’s unclear whether the original theoretical Adventure version of this episode would have still involved Takeru and Hikari, if you want to put a tinfoil hat on and entertain that theory, it lends even further credence to the idea that their respective character arcs were deliberately held off for 02...)

Given that, and thinking about the 02 epilogue as the eventual goal for the series, you can also easily imagine a lot of 02-introduced things leading up to it as probably also having been baked into Adventure’s lore:

You know how 02 had a subplot about Chosen Children proliferating all over the world, as a lead-up to everyone in the world eventually having a partner? This was part of a “doubling every year” formula that’s been referred to a few times in background staff testimony. If you inspect this formula, this means that there were eight other Chosen Children besides Taichi and his friends, chosen between 1995 and 1999. Now, remember how Adventure episode 52 briefly touched on the bombshell of Chosen Children existing before Taichi and co., before never addressing it again? Considering all of the above facts, it’s very likely that’s intended to tie into that formula -- and, perhaps, had 02 had not existed to continue the subplot about “more Chosen Children”, Adventure would have taken more initiative about explaining the concept of Taichi and his friends not being the only humans with partners, and led it into their originally intended epilogue.

02 episode 33 involves Miyako visiting Kyoto and learning that there may be certain similarities between Digimon and Japanese youkai, to the point where they might be related somehow, despite predating digital technology. (The concept is revisited in Mimi’s track in Two-and-a-Half Year Break and the Adventure BD drama CD, both of them having been written after 02.) The thing is, the idea that Digimon and other similar entities actually existed prior to digital technology, and that said technology only allowed it to manifest physically in the real world, also is heavily tied to the original concept of Digimon partners being a manifestation of a part of the human’s soul, and therefore having a partner being a part of human evolution -- which is, again, heavily tied to the original intent behind the epilogue. So it’s very likely that this, at the very least, was one of the original lore points behind Adventure -- and if 02 had not existed, it’s possible that Adventure might have tried to cover it as part of a lead-up to that epilogue, rather than ultimately deferring it to 02.

This is, of course, speculation -- I’m not a member of staff, so I can’t speak for them -- but I do think it’s important to consider that while 02 was a tonally different series, it wasn’t just a sequel tacked on at the last minute, and rather just (mostly) the same staff learning three-quarters of the way through that they would have more time to continue this narrative, and reorganizing things to figure out what they wanted to do now and what they wanted to touch on if they had more time. Really, this whole narrative of “02 being a bunch of random additions they came up with and retrofit” seems to almost be the opposite of what actually happened -- while some of the ideas behind 02 were certainly created later, it’s less that Adventure was some ideal perfectly crafted story and 02 an addendum, and more that they had so many things they wanted to do in Adventure that couldn’t fit and used 02 to vent more of those out:

One of the concepts behind the prior series was for us to pack in as many interesting things that we’d seen, heard about, or read about as we could into it, so for 02, we thought, what else could we put in beyond even that?, and so we looked over what we needed to have, and put in all the things we could so that they wouldn’t be left out, and the story became a multi-layered one, overlapping and accelerating. It was to the point that, after we’d gone through 02‘s story, the scriptwriters told me that they’d worn everything they had out to the ground. In any case, we put everything we had into it back then.

Which means that understanding 02 is actually very retroactively important to understanding Adventure -- Adventure’s own writing was influenced by the knowledge that 02 would be part of its story, and 02 itself carries a lot of vital facts and story points from Adventure’s narrative that didn’t fit in the first 54 episodes, and, in real life, they were both written continuously as one story over the course of over two years. It’s also because of this that I seriously warn against seeing either series in a vacuum too much -- because both series are very deeply tied to each other, perhaps more so than a lot of people want to admit.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Marauders #22

I absolutely hated this issue, so be warned that’s a lot of salt here, and my usual whining, so skip this post if you’re not in the mood for that.  Also spoilers below.

First impression - what absolute, self-indulgent horseshit.  I hesitate to use “fanfic” in a derogatory way, but a lot of Marauders has read as being very “fanfic” in terms of self-indulgence, and greatly favoring certain characters while denigrating others.  I actually don’t think that’s a bad thing in fanfic.  It can be annoying to read if that’s not what you’re looking for (or it can be wonderful, if it IS what you’re looking for), but ultimately, fanfic is all about self-indulgence.  It’s about writing what you want to see in a story, and if Duggan’s Marauders was someone’s actual fanfic, I wouldn’t have anything bad to say about it.  I might dislike the characterization, and probably wouldn’t read it, but it ultimately wouldn’t matter because it’s fanfic.  Frankly, I’m just as bad about constantly centering everything around Pyro (and finding ways to work him into stories where he doesn’t even belong), because I’m writing just for myself, so I can be self-indulgent.  But I’d expect much better from a professional writer.  I’d expect much better from someone being paid to write a team book.  I’d expect a god-damn balanced book that actually pays attention to the whole cast and gives a thoughtful interpretation to ALL the characters, even the villains, rather than a book dedicated to shining a spotlight on two already well-established characters, and treating them like queens who step all over the rest of the cast. 

So, we ignore almost everything set up at the Gala, including the attack on Christian and the Marauder (the ship) being set ablaze.  Why aren’t the characters handling that, Duggan?  Is that really being saved for another month?  We don’t even know if Christian is dead or not, you can’t even spare a panel for Iceman reacting to this?  Instead, we tell a flashback story that eventually reveals that Lourdes Chantel is still alive, and Emma helped her fake her own death to escape from an abusive Sebastian.

What exactly is the point of this story, in terms of the overall Marauders arc?  Will Lourdes show up later to play a role?  Is this meant to further push Sebastian along some kind of path to redemption (recognizing that he drove Lourdes away with his actions).  Because so far, Duggan doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested in rehabilitating Sebastian.  This seems like yet another story establishing Emma GOOD, Sebastian BAD, the same message that’s been getting pounded into the readers’ heads for 22 issues.  Like, we KNOW, Duggan.  We know that you think the sun shines out of Emma’s ass, you’ve already well-established that you think she’s a brilliant, wonderful, compassionate, badass queen, through 22 issues of centering the entire series around her, at the expense of EVERY other fucking character in the book (even sometimes Kate, the other obvious favorite).  It’s gotten beyond tiresome at this point.  Like, I feel like even people who love Emma and hate Sebastian are getting bored by now, because it’s not even good storytelling to have a strawman villain who is no real threat just getting repeatedly knocked down.

So, Duggan has taken both Sebastian and Emma, and further removed any kind of complexity or nuance from them.  Sebastian can’t have a kind or tender side, he can’t ever be shown in a positive light.  His relationship was Lourdes was previously part of his tragic origins, pushing him to be a worse person than he’d been in a past, but no, lets retcon him to be a controlling abuser, whom Lourdes is desperate to escape.  Because it makes Sebastian look bad and Emma look good.  Honestly, it would have been more interesting and powerful to have Lourdes come back from the dead, and be disgusted by the person Sebastian has become.  That would actually have an impact.

And by the way, why did Lourdes need Emma’s help in establishing her new identity?  She was already part of the Hellfire Club, she’s the one who brought Sebastian in, she’s rich as fuck.  Lourdes should be well capable of getting away from Sebastian on her own.  She might need Emma’s help for faking her own death, but the rest of it?  Emma should just do a little hacking to access Lourdes’ personal fortune and transfer it into a new account, and then she’s good to go.  But no, Lourdes has to be treated like a little lost lamb, a helpless battered woman for Emma to rescue.  And Emma’s deal with the Kingpin further exonerates Emma for her past crimes, because obviously, she’s just working off the debt she incurred helping poor, innocent Lourdes!  It can’t be that Emma did bad things in the past because she was ambitious, cruel, vain, and power-hungry, she has to be a woke queen who was always there to help other women.

I think Duggan thinks he’s being feminist with all this, with the “women help each other,” message, and either ignoring or villifying all the male characters.  But he’s not.  It’s not feminist to take a very complex, interesting, powerful woman like Emma Frost and completely remove all responsibility and agency for her past crimes by turning her into an abuse victim and repeatedly retconning her to be better than she actually was.  (To be fair, Duggan is just continuing a trend already started by other writers).  Emma is ambitious, power-hungry, cruel, callous, self-absorbed, vain and snobby.  But she is also brave, intelligent, compassionate, kind, protective, heroic, and self-sacrificing.  All of those things are part of Emma.  She is a teacher who loved her students, and the love for those students is part of what sent Emma on her long, difficult path towards redemption.  Yes, she’s a badass queen, but she is also a flawed individual, who has worked to overcome those flaws and become a better person.  And constantly re-writing the past to make her an “always good” abuse victim who only ever committed crimes because the big bad men forced her into it cheapens that redemption.

Speaking of cheap redemption -     

The Wilhelmina subplot: Wow, Duggan really will prioritize ANY character over Bishop, Iceman and Pyro, won’t he?  I know this is me throwing a tantrum, because “Wah, Duggan is writing someone other than my favorites!” but after 22 issues I feel justified in this whining.  Iceman, Bishop and Pyro are supposed to be regular cast members, and so far Duggan has given more serious development and emotional scenes to Callisto, Forge, Dolores (the human contact at the X-Desk), Masque, Jumbo Carnation, Magneto, the Cuckoos, and now Wilhelmina.  I don’t mind the development for many of those characters, I like Callisto and Forge and Jumbo (although I’m a little annoyed at the Magneto stuff, since he’s already front and center in the Krakoa era, and about to star in a mini-series, does he really need more time in the spotlight?).  But honestly?  Fuck Wilhelmina.  I was never that interested in the Hellfire brats, and I’m not the slightest bit interested in watching the retcon redemption of a character that murders animals for fun.  Why does she get a spotlight story while the three dudes on the team STILL haven’t gotten anything more than vague background hints of character arcs.  I mean, compare the very emotional flashback and Wilhelmina’s breakdown to the half-assed, mostly taking place off- panel “redemption” that Duggan has given Pyro.  Just a single line of “maybe this crew is bringing out the best in me,” with no lead-up, no further reflection, no hints about Pyro changing his ideas before then.  Why did you even put Iceman, Bishop and Pyro on the team if you’re not going to use them, Duggan?  Because you’ve made it quite clear that you’d rather write ANY character other than them.  I can’t even look forward to Tempo and Banshee joining the cast next issue, even though I like them (and I really want to see more development of Tempo), because I know they will be yet more characters that get pushed into the foreground, while Iceman, Bishop and Pyro remain the underdeveloped background clown trio.    

Also, it seems kind of offensive to have a cruel, murderous female character, and then say that her cruelty is entirely due to sexual abuse?  What kind of message does that send to sexual abuse victims?  That it will turn you into a monster?  Why do female villains keep getting sexual abuse as part of their backstory?  Why can’t they just be bad?  Or have something else going on?  So the Cuckoos flip a switch in Wilhelmina and she’s magically “fixed,” or at least on her way to better?  Again, I think Duggan thinks he’s being feminist with this, but he’s not. 

At least Wllhelmina has been a recurring villain in this series, so I can kinda see how her potential redemption may move the plot along, but Duggan is still introducing new plot threads, while leaving so many others dangling.  What about Christian?  What about Shinobi and Fenris?  Will Bobby and Christian ever even speak to each other again?  Will the supposed main cast members of Iceman, Bishop and Pyro ever, EVER get a proper character arc?

Or will we get an entire issue of Emma, Kate and the Cuckoos giving Wilhelmina a redemptive make-over, because girl power, amiright?

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About the First Season of--

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I first saw the sneak peek of--

...I...didn't...think it would be anything all that special. I love animation, and I love superheroes, so it would go without saying that I would love an animated series about superheroes. But the animation looked a little too stiff for my liking, and aside from featuring J.K. Simmons, there wasn't anything grabbing me when it comes to this show.

Then I heard some s**t goes down at the end of episode one. So, letting my curiosity get the better of me, I binged the entire series in a day to see what the fuss was about. And, um...Yeah. Holy s**t.

This is a series that will very much make you uncomfortable in all the right ways. However, it is a gigantic gorefest at times, so if you get queasy after a single drop of blood, DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Trust me, you will not be prepared for what this series has to offer.

At the same time, I highly recommend you watch this series before reading this review. I'm going to spoil major plot points and characters so I can appropriately discuss what I think about the season, so trust me when I say you should click away if you haven't watched it yet. It's one of those series that are better to go in as blind as possible. You can call it a cheap way to appeal to shock value, but I call it one of the best reasons why--

...Is a contender for best-animated series of the decade--That bit with the title card isn't going away anytime soon, is it?

WHAT I LIKE

The Guardians of the Globe vs. The Mauler Twins: This is the best possible way for the series to begin. The first fight scene is bright, colorful, and kinda fun. Thus setting the ultimate expectation subversion in making audiences think that will be the series staple. However, just because it has the energy of a harmless superhero fight, there is a sense of intensity as the Guardians give their all in saving others. Like that moment with Darkwing (Not the duck) as he rescues that woman without hesitation, despite knowing he might die because of it. Or Green Ghost, who just barely rescues all those civilians from that falling debris. It shows that you don't need intense scenes of violence to make a fight scene thrilling to watch.

Diversity Wins: I don't know how diverse the comics are compared to the show, but I'm impressed with how inclusive this series is. So many members of the main cast are people of color, with the main lead being half-Korean. And it's not just different races that the series shines a light on, as we also get the rare, but very much welcomed, animated male gay character. Who's thankfully isn't cliched in ten ways to Sunday...for the most part. It really does seem like writers are starting to grow up and that it's better to be as inclusive as possible instead of pretending certain people don't exist for the sake of "convenience." It might not solve oppression in general, but it certainly makes certain people feel better, even if it is briefly.

Mark Grayson: Mark is a pretty solid super-protagonist if you ask me. Sure, at first, he comes across as whiney...and even more so in later episodes, but he's really an endearing character at times. Mark nails the role of the relatable everyman that's also inspirational with his determination since he never gives up until beaten to the inch of his life. Seriously, while he might not entirely be--

...I guess that bit with the title card really isn't going away.

Anyways, while he might not entirely be invulnerable in the literal sense, he is very much so in the figurative sense. Mark, in so many ways, refuses to call quits once he finally gets the hang of being a superhero, which is what makes him so inspirational. Plus, it's funny seeing how much of a rookie he can be to the gig at times. Mark is far from a perfect lead but is still charming to a fault, and it's nice seeing him grow more heroic each episode. I hope to see him develop more in future seasons, as he has the potential to be ranked higher up as one of my favorite superheroes (it's hard to compete with Spider-Man and Batman, but he'll make me consider it).

Debbie Grayson: This is almost what I expect a mother and wife of superheroes would be. 

Your son is constantly crash landing in your yard? Tell him to knock it off because he's past his curfew. 

Your husband disappeared into another dimension to fight off invaders? Shrug it off and expect that he'll be late for dinner.

It's a ton of fun to watch, and I adore how supportive she is of Mark, despite how much danger he could be in as a superhero. But, what really endears me with Debbie is her complicated feelings with Omni-Man. There's not a doubt in my mind that she loved him with her whole heart, but she also isn't an idiot. She is quick to pick up how unheroic her husband can be at times, often scolding him for it when necessary. And when she finally starts investigating if he really did kill the Guardians, I love that she instantly comes up with every single plausible excuse she can, despite knowing the truth. Because she believes that she knows who Omni-Man is and refuses any possibility that he might be a supervillain. So when she finds out that there really is no other explanation and hearing him call her a pet (big ouch when that happened), you wanna know what she does? She cries. Not because the man she loved is gone forever, but because the idea of him is. And it's that level of emotional devastation that comes from those complicated emotions that make me think Debbie Grayson is the most complex and endearing character on the show. And I. Will. Stand by that.

Seeing the Guardians of the Globe on their down time: Wow, what a cute collection of scenes that are charming as much as they are heartwarming! A set of scenes that show how human these characters are with their close relationships with friends and family! I sure hope it's not followed up with a brutal emotional gut-punch of a scene that will be even more devastating after thinking back on these! Especially with that bit with Martian Man and the little girl, cause OOO-WEE, would THAT tear me up inside!

Omni Man destroying the Guardians of the Globe:...I'd follow through on my joke here, but holy s**t.

That's really the best way I can describe all of this. It is a brutal, I repeat, BRUTAL scene that will stick with you hours after watching it. Not only that, but it's one of the few instances when I was damn near speechless because I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Holy s**t." The only time another superhero property did that was Avengers: Infinity War, except with that, the only difference is that the characters come back. Here, except for The Immortal, the Guardians stay dead! There's no magic amulet or alternate versions from another dimension. No, they die and never come back. Thus setting up how serious the show can be. Because if these superheroes can stay dead, then so can others.

Plus, what makes it more impactful is how throughout the entire fight, there was a glimpse of hope that the Guardians can beat Omni-Man. I heard he got nerfed for the sake of drama, and I approve of that decision. Because if he was really--

...If he was really unbeatable, then the fight doesn't have weight to it. There wouldn't be a point in rooting for these characters to win when we already know they're going to lose. But, by showing there's a chance that they could win, it becomes all the more intense watching the fight and even more tragic seeing them lose. It is a masterpiece of a battle that proves once and for all: Batman is right. You need contingency plans.

Omni Man: J. Jonah Jameson has become the one thing he hates the most: A masked MENACE...Ok, I know Omni-Man doesn't wear a mask, so the joke doesn't work as well as it could. But it was served to me on a silver platter, damn it! I had to take it!

In all seriousness, though, Omni-Man might give Homelander a run for his money on best evil Superman. Because while Homelander might be terrifying in his own right with his style of evil, Omni-Man takes it a step up a notch with the mystery behind WHY he killed the Guardians of the Globe. We know right away that there's something off with him, but up until that point, we see multiple instances of Omni-Man doing the right thing rather than the wrong. Sure, he might come off as cold when interacting with people, but so does Batman and other great superheroes in comics. That doesn't mean he's evil. So when he does do something so incredibly heinous, we're left with this mystery as to why. Because there has to be a reason for it all, right? Like, maybe mind control or his family was threatened. Something and anything that means he was forced into killing the noblest of people. So when it turns out that his actions were intentional, it is already pretty devastating. But when we find out why he does these things, it paints how truly evil Omni-Man is, given how little respect he has for human life.

Plus, as terrifying as Homelander is, Omni-Man is ten times more of an engaging villain. With Homelander, what you see is what you get: A narcissist with a god complex. For Omni-Man, it's more or less the same thing, but it's something fed to him because of the conditioning from his planet. There is a tiny, molecule-sized part of him that genuinely cares about others. It doesn't change what he does, nor does it mean he deserves forgiveness (far from it), but it hints that maybe he's not evil because of his own ego. It's because of how he's trained to be. And judging by his pained expressions from Mark's words and the single tear he sheds when leaving everything behind, there's a chance that he might be willing to fight back that mentality.

Or he will stay evil, and that he'll return to do worse things in the future. I don't know. I haven't read the comics. But I feel like I don't need to read anything to tell you all that Omni-Man is up there as one of the most intriguing comic book villains of all time, and I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

This show is f**king Violent: I mean, I refer you back to that scene where Omni-Man destroys the Guardians of the Globe. But, unlike other shows that use violence to force that mature rating, I feel as though In--

...Title card. You were cute the first time, but now your novelty has quickly worn thin.

Anyways, I feel as though this show...uses gore more appropriately. More often than not, death and carnage get treated as a literal joke in adult cartoons because people are sick bastards, I guess. But with...the current series I'm talking about, it all has an impact. No one dies or gets mangled for the sake of shock value or for a laugh. Instead, every instance of this type of violence is to either make a point, set the tone, or prove just how dangerous a specific character is. It makes...the series more mature than most adult cartoons you'll find because it actually brings a worthy discussion for its violence rather than milking it to give the illusion of maturity. And I gotta respect the writers for doing that.

Cecil: This man is basically Nick Fury if he was overpowered but in a good way. There is just something about a man who knows superheroes are needed in the world but also trusts a "hero" like Omni-Man as far as he can throw him. Not only does Cecil have contingency plans for his contingency plans, but the guy also knows to send the right heroes out for the exact missions that require them. Plus, a man is an instant badass when he's stone-faced about a demon saying he'll go somewhere worse than hell and is calm when being face-to-face with an angry Omni-Man.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The title card gets bloodier with each episode: This is just a really cool gimmick. It proves how intense this show can really be and how the stakes get higher and higher with each installment. Also, I like to think the amount of blood that splashes over the title card reflects how brutal the episode will be, especially with episode eight, 'cause holy hell.

The plot structure: The way the story works is very similar to how a comic book series handles its overarching narrative. Even though the writers begin a new arc that continues for a handful of issues, the overall main plot still develops in the background of the current adventure the hero goes through. That's basically how--

>Intense inhale<

>Calm exhale<

That's basically how THIS SHOW operates. Each episode can be seen as its own story that's given a ton of room to develop with its forty-five-minute runtime (which blew my f**king mind when I started binging it). Despite that, there's still a great sense of continuity. Everything involving Omni-Man and the mystery behind his murder of the Guardians gets fleshed out throughout the season, even when it takes the background of Mark's escapades. It really does feel like sitting down and taking the time to read an entire volume of comics, which I like to believe is the intention. After all, what's the point of making a series about superheroes if you don't make it feel like a comic book at least once?

Dark Blood: I desire a series based on this character alone. I know it's probably just Hellboy, but I want it. 

The idea of a demon solving murder crimes to work off his debt in Hell is too much of a remarkable concept to strictly be a c-plot in one series. Give Dark Blood a spin-off, damn it!

The Realistic Portrayal of a Superhero world: Unlike certain superhero properties--*cough* DC *cough*--it's--

>Huff<

>Puff<

>HUFF<

>PUFF<

>HUFF<

It's. This. F**KING. SHOW! That really does an excellent job at portraying how much it would suck to live in a world of superheroes. Sure, you got the cool battles and awe-inspiring heroes with incredible powers, but do you know what else you get? Hundreds upon thousands of people dying from the very threats those heroes fight against. Not to mention all the realistic physics that come from people like Mark trying to save others. Just look at how mangled that old woman looked when he attempted to help her. It, uh...It sure did not look great. Don't get me wrong, I love superheroes and the worlds they live in. But when watching a show like...this one, it really makes me appreciate how I don't live in those worlds with them.

It’s Still Funny: This is something I appreciate the most. When most superhero shows go for the realistic approach, they go with the doom and gloom route, making everything so melodramatic about how serious the world is. But here's the thing: Superheroes are f**king stupid.

Don't tell me they're not because they are. Superheroes have cornball hero names, bright costumes, and logos on their foreheads, chests, belts, and what-have-you. Taking a superhero too seriously is the worst mistake you could make, which is why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Say what you want about Marvel having "too many jokes," but at least they know it's for the best to laugh at themselves and embrace the weirdness. It's something similar with...you know what. Because while the series tells a serious and realistic story about superheroes, it's still a story about superheroes. So it tells some jokes and some pretty funny ones at that. Because while it's essential to include some drama in a story such as the one in...you know what, it's just as important to never forget to have some fun.

“Earth is not yours to conquer.”: Such a great line that gains an even greater meaning once we fully know who Omni-Man is. The main creditor for how effective it is goes to J.K. Simmons for making the line sound explicit yet implicit at the same time.

Allen the Alien: ...It is an absolute crime that this character only has about six minutes of screentime. Allen is such a bro, partially because of Seth Rogan's performance, that I would honestly be upset if he doesn't show up more often in later seasons. Seriously, bring him back for more.

The Mauler Twins: Thankfully, these characters get as much attention as they deserve. The banter between the Mauler Twins is always entertaining, often being the comedic highlights at times. On top of being funny, they also work as efficient villains who can come across as threatening at times.

But what I love most of all about these two is the explanation behind the cloning process. The reasoning of why neither character remembers which one is the cone is a brilliant idea that I'm surprised no one else did in the past (to my knowledge). It also provides some excellent fruit for thought in wondering if it really is better to live your life not knowing if you're a clone or not. The whole thing is great to watch, and it makes me really glad for their inclusion...too bad they had to be forced into a story that makes a character look like a reckless superhero and an inconsiderate jackass to his friend. Seriously, what was up with that?

“That Actually Hurt”: This just might be my favorite episode of the first season. Machine Head is both equally hilarious and devious, Titan might just be my favorite character due to how intriguing his allegiances and motivations are, that final fight was the perfect amount of brutal, and we get the biggest hint of the man Omni-Man really is. Having him simply watching Mark instead of flying in to help him actually shocked me the first time seeing it. It's not until we learn what a Viltrumite really is that it becomes clear as to why. He doesn't care about saving his son but instead seeing Mark reach the same potential Omni-Man did during that smash fest the planet went through to reach perfection. And something tells me he felt more disappointment than sadness after seeing his son get nearly killed by Tony the Tiger (I know he has an actual name...but this is funnier to me). It's such a solid moment with great implications that just so happens to exist in an even greater episode.

Eve deciding to just help people for the heck of it: I actually love this idea more for the potential it has rather than what actually happens so far. Because the main reason why heroes don't fly around and solve every little minute problem people have is that they need to learn how to act without help. If you suddenly make food appear out of thin air or stopping forest fires, you're doing good, but there's also potential harm that comes from it. I think back to that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where the townspeople are so idiotic and complacent with having their heroes solve every problem that they really can't think or act for themselves. A similar thing can happen with Eve if she's not careful. Even worse, if she keeps trying to end famine for farmers, because she might get into a Supergirl situation with people building a cult around her. And, you know, that's not going to be fun.

But again, that's just the potential that this presents. We--Or the people who haven't read the comics--don't know if Eve will actually face this issue. Regardless, we still get some solid moments that proves just how much Eve is a true hero in this series as she has no other motive to help people other than she just wants to. And I actually think that's pretty cool.

The Immortal’s rematch: I gotta hand it to the guy. Not a second after being brought back to life, and The Immortal's already flying off to get revenge on the bastard who killed his closest friends in the world. Or, globe, I guess.

I respect that, to be honest.

(As a bonus, The Immortal causing Omni-Man's eyes to become bloodshot adds to how evil he'll be in the last episode)

Mark trying to snap his dad out of mind-control: Oh, I felt that.

I'm pretty sure we all felt that.

Ow...Big ow.

The Train Scene: ...This is the most horrific thing I have seen in entertainment. Seriously, while Omni-Man annihilating the Guardians left me speechless, this is another level. Because him using Mark's body to kill a train full of people ramming into them, leaving Mark all the more helpless to stop it, makes a scene that is so...so hard for me to describe how effectively f**ked up it is. It's one of those moments where just by seeing it, you know why it's awful in all the right ways. And I will never forget the look of shock and horror on my face when it reflected onto my laptop's screen after the scene briefly cut to black soon after the carnage. Because if that doesn't explain how unmerciful this moment is, I don't know what will.

Saving Mark after the fight: I really love this because as it flashes between still images of people carrying Mark away after his brutal fight with Omni-Man, it really feels like you're reading a comic from panel to panel. It’s pretty neat. I won’t lie.

WHAT I DISLIKE

The Animation isn’t that great: Now, in terms of action, the animation is fantastic. You feel the impact of each attack, there are some creative uses of powers, and the gore is better implemented because it's all animated. As for everything else...yeah, it kinda sucks. Movements are a little stiff at times, the CGI backgrounds could use a bit more polish, and don't get me started on the CGI crowds of people. I understand the shortcuts that need to be taken to make everything else more effective, but man, this series needed a little more time in the oven before being shown to everyone. It's never too bad, but it can be pretty distracting at times.

Amber: F**k Amber. Just f**k her. Everything people tell you that is wrong with her is one-hundred percent on point. She is easily one of the worst love interests, and to me, it has everything to do with the fact that she knows Mark is--

...That she knows Mark is--

...

...

...ThatsheknowsMarkisInvinci--

--BECAUSE IT INVALIDATES ANY POINT SHE HAS, GOSH DANGIT! I don't give a single S**T if she's upset that he's late all the time! If Amber was always unaware of it, then I would understand. But having her know means that she thinks her issues are more important than Mark, oh, I don't know, SAVING THE PLANET! I mean, the girl helps feed the homeless! You would think she would understand.

But fine. Maybe Amber's just upset that Mark's lying to her. Sure. That's understandable...BUT WHAT THE F**K IS UP WITH HER BLOWING UP IN HIS FACE FOR NOT HELPING ANYBODY AT THE COLLEGE WHEN SHE KNOWS HE'S HELPING EVERYBODY!? Even if it's her giving Mark one last chance to tell her the truth (which is a mile of a stretch, and you know it), did she really expect him to reveal his secret with tons of people watching? That is a crazy expectation that no one should live up to!

Amber is quite possibly the worst thing about this show. She was fine at first, and her chemistry with Mark was on point, but MAN, did she get worse later on.

And if I see one mother f**ker calling me a racist because I don't like this character who just so happens to be black...I'm going to be upset, not gonna lie. Because that is a cheap shot to dismiss any criticism, especially since her race has NOTHING to do with why people hate her...Or, at least, most people.

Edit (5/27/2021): Disregard the above. The long and short is that I don’t like Amber. She just doesn’t sit right with me for the reasons that her anger towards Mark just never felt entertaining to me in comparision to everything else. But saying her thoughts and arguements are invalid is not cool, and I’m sorry to both any readers who are black or especially female who would be upset by this.

Rex-splode: I understand the point behind Rex. He's a character who we're supposed to hate, so it becomes so much more satisfying seeing others s**t on him. But those characters are hard to get right if you’re not careful. Make them too irritating, then any suffering they go through will seem too little. Make them not annoying enough, and their punishments can be too harsh. Rex fits into the "too irritating" category. It's satisfying to see Monster Girl wreck his s**t after he started commenting how ineffective she might be, but with what he pulled with Dupli-Kate, I feel as though he might deserve worse. Although I will admit Rex gets slightly better in later episodes, showing at least a smidgen of character development. But I don't think it's enough to make his a**holeness worth it. Still, I hope he at least becomes above decent in the next few seasons, which is way more than what I can say for Amber.

(Seriously, writers, if she just disappears without an ounce of an explanation in the season premiere, I won't question it. You have my word.)

Edit: I no longer agree with what I crossed out, but I won’t delete it either. I want people to know the mistake I made so I can prove that I changed in the future.

Robot cloning himself to be with Monster Girl: ...Nope! 

Nope!

Changed my mind.

I am NOT touching that.

I will touch a lot of things, but I will not touch--That came out wrong.

Please forget you read anything.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Let’s move on

Transitioning to the title card: Here it is! The nitpickiest of all nitpicks! But, seeing how it happens in every episode, meaning that the writers have no choice but to commit to it, means it's one of those things that viewers are forced to get used to. And boy, is the transition to the title card hard to get used to! Oh, you thought it was annoying how it kept happening in this review? Well...fair enough. But trust me when I say it's much more aggravating in the show.

The funny thing is, I had no problem the first time it happened. It was a cute way to introduce the character as well as the title of the series. But having that be the basis for transitioning to the title card every time was a gimmick that got old real quick. Especially since every time that a character says the word--

--it always feels forced. What's even more annoying is that sometimes it interrupts characters as they're saying invin--

LIKE! F**KING! THAT! Because interrupting someone before they say something is one thing, but doing so as they're saying it shows a sense of bad timing. Not even that, because this is something that I feel like could have been the easiest to change in the series by having someone go, "Hey, maybe we should edit out this single second."

It's laziness that doesn't happen often, but it still grinds my gears a bit. Plus, is there really no other smoother transition the writers could come up with? Did they really believe this is the best way to do it?

Think, writers! THINK!

It's fine to have a gimmick, but this is one that really shouldn't have any follow-through on.

-------------

That's about all the issues I have with the show. It's far from perfect, but still, an A- is pretty impressive work. The stuff that this series does right not only outnumbers the mistakes but also heavily outweighs them. Besides, no show in the history of creativity has ever been perfect in its first season. There are always dents that need to get buffed out and improve upon for the subsequent seasons to come. Only then can a series truly be Invincible from all criticism.

...

...Oh, sure. 

SURE!

NOW it lets me say it!

GOSH, DANGIT, I HATE THAT TITLE CARD!

[mintsuke]

Forelsket | 6 - No Part of It

Tsukishima Kei x f!Reader smau

Note: Someone should really dry their hair when leaving the showers instead of letting it drip all over the floor.

Disclaimer: I evidently don’t know the physics of falling so I apologize AHA. Also a little cliché I’m sorry.

A/N: I kept second guessing myself with this part, I rewrote the certain scene like five times before finally leaving it as is jfaslfal. Anyways... Thank you for the comments in the last part 🥺🥺 love love you all <3

Masterlist | Previous | Next

“Are you sure you don’t want to join in on extra practice? Bokuto won’t shut up about you.”

You sneak a glance at the spiky-haired male in question, waving when he brightens at your attention and is nearly jumping out of his shoes on the other side of the net. His dark haired setter is sighing and trying to calm him down with no avail.

“He saw me dig and spike a ball once and now he wants to fight me any chance he gets,” you sigh at Kuroo as you hand him a towel and a water bottle, “I’m okay, I swear.”

He smiles in thanks, patting his forehead before taking a generous swig of the bottle you had refilled beforehand. The tall middle blocker pouts and you make a face in disgust at his attempt at being cute. “It’s the last night of the training camp, come on!”

“Nope!” You say with finality as you walk away to collect the empty bottles from the other boys.

Yaku slaps his hand over the boy’s back and snickers, “I like her even more now!”

Instead of responding, Kuroo frowns more seriously to his and Nobuyuki’s surprise. Hazel eyes watch in concern as you chat with the other team members, before he shakes his head and turns away.

He really only wanted to take your mind off things for a bit, especially when the persistent asshole was blowing up your phone whenever he could. There would always be lingering feelings, and he knew just telling you to block him off was a hard feat. He didn’t want to see you hurt all over again. 

.

“So I heard from Yachi that Kuroo-san doesn’t even have a girlfriend.”

Tsukishima casts his friend a weird look. Why was that relevant right now? Did he even want to pry into that annoying rooster head’s love life? No. Not really. 

“And?” 

“I wonder what that picture was about then,” Yamaguchi ponders without falter, ignoring the slight snap in his friend’s tone, “Ahh they even looked cute together during the camp, love really is dead.” The shorter makes a mock teary frown, feigning a hand pressing into his temple. 

Without trying, Tsukishima can feel the irritation building up, his brow twitching at the continued talk of romance. He just couldn’t get away from it, could he?

“Glad you’ve finally realized it,” the blonde agrees monotonously.

The shorter slumps at the former’s curt response, although expecting it nonetheless. “Come on Tsukki, you don’t think about having a girlfriend to cook for you and dote on you?” The thought makes the boy smile dreamily; receiving bento from her and going on cute dates, the thoughts make his freckled cheeks blossom.

Tsukishima scoffs. 

“Sounds like a mother, I evidently already have one.”

At that, Yamaguchi pouts, shoulders sagging slightly, “Tsukki...”

“I don’t need any of that,” He retorts with a frown, “Just stop talking to me about those stuff. I’m serious. The idiots won’t shut up about it, I don’t need you pestering me as well.”

The boy zips his mouth shut, frowning at his friend as the two neared the stairwell. It was more notably quiet between the two now, Tsukishima still annoyed over constantly being pestered about dating and such.

He didn’t understand. What was the point of dating? Why waste your time and emotions on a person that was bound to hurt you in the end? Why let yourself be so vulnerable, making it easier for them to manipulate and hurt you? If it was going to be like that, he wanted no part of it. 

Moreover, how could those girls even claim to like him? They’ve never talked to him before. He didn’t even know they existed. So how could they even develop those kind of silly feelings?

Stupid, he thinks harshly as they take a sharp turn towards the stairs, his expression twisted into a taut frown. Delusional. 

He hadn’t been paying attention until his foot slipped out from under him at a particularly wet spot on one of the steps, sending him falling down the stairs. The world goes turning as his back and elbow land on the hard stairs while his body is still falling down quickly.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi gasps as the person at the foot of the stairs gets knocked over in result, much like a bowling pin.

You had been heading towards the second floor after finishing cleaning the cafeteria. Staring at your phone, the screen bright and illuminating the dark of the hallway, you glared down at the constant phone calls and incessant text messages from your ex. 

Fear and hurt filled your chest. This was exactly why you needed this summer break to recuperate. Kuroo, however, was right, you were safer here, where he and Kenma can watch you. Chances are, he would’ve continued to stalk you or wait around your home, and that scared you. 

Being around boys was still taxing, and you really needed some much needed distance from the male gender. After two years of what used to be love and warmth, that had very quickly become manipulative and cold, maybe love just wasn’t for you. If relationships were going to be like that, you wanted no part of it. 

Maybe I should just block him, you think anxiously as you let another call get sent to voicemail. You refused to listen to any of the voicemails he left, his chilling and authoritative voice would have done anything and everything to coax you into running back with your tail between your legs. He knew how to make you bend, and perhaps that’s why you still hesitate to block him out entirely. 

Two long years. 

Trust me (F/n), you can’t live without me. You need me. Stop being selfish. I’ll get angry. You apparently like making me angry, I guess.

You shake your head as you rise up the staircase, turning the corner to head up the second half of the flight of stairs. 

Kuroo had mentioned dating someone else to take your mind off of him but that just wasn’t possible. Love was just not it for you apparently. 

You sigh before you hear the call of a name, and a shout to get out of the way stupid, but you have yet to register who or what as a body collides with you and your legs are swiped from under your weight. It sends you falling forward as a result. Your eyes widen in shock as you reach out wildly to smack your palms onto the first few steps to stop from potentially slamming your face into the stairs.

Toppled in a heap of limbs, one body over the other, at the foot of the stairs, you both wince at the peculiar jolt of electricity that crackles between the two of you, your lips pressed firmly over his.

Wait. What? You blink in a mild haze at the rush of events.

Blinking slowly, your mind barely catches up to the sudden lack of distance between your face and this stranger. The two of you have yet to fully register the connection between your lips before you both stiffen and pull away instantly in a fit of flustered blushes and looking away out of sheer embarrassment.

“Oh my God! Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaims, bounding down to you both, face fallen in fear for his dear friend. 

The blonde sits up with a wince, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose, noting the ache in his backside from falling down the stairs like a landslide.

“Shut up, I’m fine.”

He glances down at you on his lap, raising an eyebrow as you blink up at him in shock.

“Hey, if you’re okay, then get up already, will you?”

The realization doesn’t seem to settle right away, before your eyes widen momentarily as you scramble off.

“S-sorry!” You stammer, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. Wow, he was really pretty. Blonde hair and honey colored eyes under glasses? A recipe for any girl’s undoing. 

“Whatever, if you paid attention, you could’ve avoided this dumbass.”

Ah.

Nevermind. 

“Sorry...” you say again, although slightly irked by his snide remark. Why was he being rude? It was an accident, was it not? He was the one who collided with you, was he not?!

“Stop staying sorry, stupid, can you not listen?” He snaps back, just as irritably.

“Okay... sorry,” You say out of habit, and he gazes back at you in mild annoyance and confusion. 

He scoffs, saying nothing else as he stands. You were almost expecting too much as he doesn’t move to offer you a hand. His friend, however, scrambles to help you up.

“I’m sorry for him, are you okay?” he asks quickly, eyes checking everywhere for any visible discomfort from the fall, “Ah! You’re Nekoma’s manager!”

You wave your hand in dismissal, “Don’t worry about it, he must be having a rough day, huh? Also, yes, I’m only a temp though, because Tetsu wouldn’t stop pestering me.”

Tsukishima glares back at you, “I wasn’t the airhead who couldn’t understand get out of the way when told.”

“Maybe you should watch out where you walk from now on?” You retort, completely tired of his attitude, “Aren’t you a first year too? Maybe you should learn some manners as well when talking to your elders.” The dark haired boy covers his mouth to hide the small snort at your tenacity. Not many girls, or at all, fight back against Tsukishima’s foul mouth. The only girls he ever treats tolerably is Shimizu and Yachi, given that they are the team’s managers.

“Hah?” he exclaims back, equally as surprised as his friend, but less amused as he meets your glare. 

His mouth opens to insult you when your phone, having also met the fate of suddenly being knocked over, rings obnoxiously. You find it had clattered on the floor from the sudden impact, with thankfully just a small scratch on the screen protector. Thank you phone cases, you inwardly thought as you picked up the vibrating device. 

You half expect it to be him again, when you see “Tetsu” light up your screen. A small smile graces your lips, a stark contrast from the annoyed frown from just moments earlier. 

“Well, excuse me, sorry once again.”

The expression makes the blonde perk slightly, eyes widening for a fraction of a second as you bow slightly to the two and take your leave up the stairs. 

When your footsteps fade away, Yamaguchi lets out a huge sigh and feels his shoulders deflate. “Ah Tsukki... you didn’t need to be so mean,” he says as they resume their trek down the stairs, “She was kinda cute, don’t you think?”

“I think you mean kinda dumb,” He mumbles, looking away to hide the way his ears tinge a shade of pink. You were cute, but he wasn’t about to admit that out loud. You were so soft, and that smile, it makes his chest hurt. He can still smell the lingering scent of your shampoo. The lingering feel of your shared kiss.

Closing his eyes briefly, he willed away those foolish thoughts.

Biting his lip, he wondered what that electrifying sensation was. Static? Maybe. He wasn’t sure. Was kissing normally supposed to feel like that?

Shaking his head, there was no thinking too hard about it or you. Just as you explained that you were only a temporary manager, there was a high chance he’d never have to butt heads with you again.

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[robininthelabyrinth]

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

- Chapter 5 -

Lao Nie did not, in the end, cast them out, but there was dissatisfaction in his eyes, a certain coldness in his dealings with Meng Shi in particular – he was never intentionally cruel, as Meng Yao might have feared, but his visits to her courtyard stopped, and their dealings returned to those early days when she had been a stranger he had agreed to host rather than a member of the family.

It wasn’t as noticeable with Meng Yao, shifting from being treated as a ward of the family to a sect disciple like all the others, but it was – still noticeable.

Meng Yao tried not to complain, especially after the first time he overheard Nie Mingjue arguing with his father in his study about it. The study was built with thick stone and lined with tapestries to boot, but two explosive Nie tempers raging against each other was not an easy thing to muffle, especially to someone as good as eavesdropping as Meng Yao. The gist of it was that Nie Mingjue didn’t care about the politics of it, about the loss of face, and the only thing his father said that had even a slight impact on him was that it meant that they didn’t trust them.

There had been a brief moment of silence, the words hitting their mark and leaving a wound, and then Nie Mingjue started arguing again.

It wasn’t true that Meng Yao didn’t trust him, but Meng Yao didn’t know how to make that clear. If he told Nie Mingjue that he trusted him, Nie Mingjue would believe him, because they were brothers and good brothers believed each other, but it would be something he would do purposefully, intentionally, something he would make himself belief when what Meng Yao wanted was for him to know the truth of it deep down in his heart, in his core, in those steely principles of his that did not know how to bend.

So he didn’t tell him, and turned his attention to sect matters instead, determined to make himself useful.

(He could have gone to Nie Mingjue with his grievances, whispered them in his ear again and again until Nie Mingjue was willing to do anything for him – but love like that was a gamble that could be lost in a single throw of the dice, the way his mother had, and he didn’t want that. So he had to be useful, instead.)

Meng Yao threw himself into learning how the Unclean Realm operated, knowing that sect leaders were often too busy to handle the minutiae themselves; he studied the kitchens, the forges, the stables, and more with the same enthusiasm as his actual classes.

He tried to make himself useful, tried to make himself irreplaceable – and he was.

Being useful helped reduce the sting of the letters that appeared on his bedside table as if by magic, the letters that reminded him of his long-term plan to work his way into Wen Ruohan’s confidence by pretending that he could be coaxed into being his spy – the only thing that made it remotely tolerable was that Discussion Conferences happened only once a year, and Wen Ruohan was never invited to Qinghe beyond that.

The same could not be said of their other allies.

The small sects were easily disposed of, but not the Great Sects; of them, only the Lan sect came in force to pay a visit to the Unclean Realm – and so Meng Yao was properly introduced to Lan Xichen for the first time.

Lan Xichen was everything Meng Yao ever imagined a cultivator to be: kind and gentle, graceful and polite, a proper well-born gentleman that would never let a harsh word pass through his lips, while also being talented in every art, powerful in his cultivation, and handsome to the point of beauty – basically perfect, without any of Nie Mingjue’s flaws: his temper, rigidity, obvious naivete, and carelessness.

Naturally, Meng Yao couldn’t stand him.

Maybe it would have been different if he’d met him a few years earlier, or even a few years later. Maybe he would have felt seen, seen and appreciated, because Lan Xichen truly did seem to appreciate him, his talents, his intelligence, everything. Maybe Lan Xichen would have become the white moonlight in his heart, forever out of reach, or maybe Meng Yao would have let his worst tendencies overtake him until he sought to conquer him, to lie to him until he stood by his side even to the point of forsaking his own principles, to keep him all for himself and no one else, because Lan Xichen’s one flaw was that he was too much a gentleman, that he gave out trust as if it were nothing and always thought the best of people, that he sympathized with whoever seemed to spill their heart to him first –

Meng Yao could have had him wrapped around his little finger in no time.

You say you’re his friend, Meng Yao thought, glaring, but you were at that awful Discussion Conference last year, too, and where were you when he needed you? Asleep, that’s where!

Possibly he was a little jealous.

Jealous of the way Nie Mingjue seemed flattered by Lan Xichen’s attention, almost riveted by it, as if Lan Xichen were better than he was and his views more important; jealous of the way Nie Huaisang’s eyes were always trained on the “pretty gege” that came to visit them every morning; jealous of how Lan Xichen seemed to have everything Meng Yao had ever wanted in the world served up to him on a platter.

No, he couldn’t stand him, perfect creature that he was. Meng Yao would make nice with him and wait for him to leave, and that would be that.

Naturally, about a week after he made that decision, Lan Xichen found Meng Yao alone in the garden one afternoon and confessed his affections.

“I…what?” Meng Yao gaped at him. “You like me?”

Lan Xichen’s cheeks were beautiful when they flushed red. “I admire you.”

He’d said more than that – he’d said that Meng Yao was brilliant and graceful, thoughtful and level-headed, talented and hard-working, a tragic figure that had overcome his circumstances through his own efforts – but Meng Yao was still having trouble believing he’d managed to pull the wool over this beautiful boy’s eyes without even trying.

(Meng Yao was all of those things, yes, except that he was also a spiteful son of a bitch and after enough years with the Nie sect, which valued straightforwardness and honesty, he was self-aware enough to know it.)

If he still listened to his mother’s advice above his own instincts, perhaps Meng Yao would have smiled shyly, averted his eyes and accepted the compliment, perhaps offered to hold his hand while he was there – per Nie sect rules, they weren’t old enough for more than butterfly kisses, so even if he was repulsed, which he secretly wasn’t at all, he could have managed it – and maybe suggested keeping up a correspondence, planning for the future. It was never a bad idea to have another patron in your back pocket, after all.

Perhaps it was the corruption of the sect’s principles, some of Nie Mingjue’s righteousness rubbing off on him, or just the fact that Meng Yao and his mother were having a bit of a cold period between them as she tried to get back into Lao Nie’s good graces (or worse, Jin Guangshan’s, even after everything) in what Meng Yao thought were all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons, but he decided not to do that.

He decided to be a little more honest, instead.

“Your view of me is idealized,” he said, more delicately than Nie Mingjue’s bluntness would have been. “There’s nothing ennobling about hardship, and being piteous can eventually become as tiring as being pitied. You would be better off waiting to learn more about me to see if you actually like me, or else you might as well just paint a picture and live with your dreams of me instead.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes filled with tears, even though Meng Yao had been trying to be nice, and he made some excuses before running away. When Nie Mingjue found him later, Meng Yao told him about it, and Nie Mingjue hummed thoughtfully.

“His mother is very sickly,” he said. “I heard that she can’t leave her house; per Lan sect rules, as boys, Xichen and his brother are only able to visit her once a month – otherwise, they only have pictures.”

Meng Yao put his head in his hands. “So you’re saying I accidentally poked at his most vulnerable point. While trying to be nice.”

He needed to get his hands on better information than he had. Maybe his mother had the right idea after all about figuring out what people wanted…

“I think it’s a good thing,” Nie Mingjue said. “The Lan sect only allow themselves to love once, which is a stupid rule, but imagine if he committed to someone and then realized he’d made a mistake?” He paused. “Not that you’d be a mistake, of course.”

“Of course not, I’m perfect and everything about me is more important than other people,” Meng Yao said, only somewhat joking.

Nie Mingjue cuffed him upside the head, but nodded agreeably – still a fool, after all these years.

“Still, I suppose that’s one useful connection I’ve ruined,” Meng Yao added with a sigh. “He won’t want to see me again.”

Nie Mingjue snorted. “You’re joking, right? The only thing you’ve done is add ‘insightful’ to the list of qualities he likes about you. He’ll still want to write to you, I promise – only maybe he won’t be quite so quick to pity you.”

For once, Nie Mingjue’s guess about people turned out to be the right one, and Lan Xichen turned out to be a lot more tolerable when you could tease him out of his Lan-sect otherworldliness.

Meng Yao supposed he could stand him after all.

(He was so very pretty. Even in the brothels, with all the paint and tricks in the world, Meng Yao had never met anyone who looked better than he did.)

It helped that Lan Xichen had the good taste to appreciate all the good aspects of Nie Huaisang, who at four was starting to turn into an actual person – a lazy spoiled brat of a person, sure, but Meng Yao couldn’t really blame him for it, not when Nie Mingjue was the sort of person to yell ‘no’ at an outrageous request and then give in immediately thereafter because the person he’d yelled at looked sad.

The doctors confirmed that Nie Huaisang would be weak all his life, his body underdeveloped in the womb, but the only thing that meant was that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue had to work even harder to make sure the third young master of Qinghe would have a good life, untroubled and carefree.

And they could do it, too: Nie Mingjue had a general’s mind and the strength to back it up, with a frankly outrageous talent for cultivating that Meng Yao had incorrectly assumed was the result of starting early but eventually realized from the expressions of their teachers was in fact idiosyncratic, and Meng Yao had the cunning and paranoia he inherited from his mother. His own cultivation was progressing very nicely, his outstanding memory helping him pick up techniques as soon as he saw them and helping him figure out how to best utilize his speed and flexibility – aspects that would have made him a good swordsman, though Meng Yao found that all those years of seemingly pointless training had strengthened his arms and shoulders enough that his only slightly subpar saber skills tended to catch others by surprise.

He thought he wasn’t far away from receiving his own saber, his Chiwen, right within the usual age range for it, and when that happened he would at last be safe, only one final confirmatory mission away from being a full-fledged Nie sect disciple who knelt before his sect leader to swear loyalty. The conditions for expelling a disciple from the sect were very strict, codified in sect law – barring any premeditated murder, rape, or arson or suchlike, once in, it would be very hard to force him to leave except if he wanted to.

He could stay forever.

He would stay forever.

[randomoranges]

the first half of this is like haha oupsee and the second half is like But Also

Dress Shirt

Étienne mindlessly tugs on the sleeve of his sweater, as his second group of the day trickles in. It’s Edward’s class and he’s always privately amused when he has his boyfriend’s group. They don’t know, obviously, but he does and the knowledge amuses him.

 He’s busy giving out instructions when one of the students’ comes up to him and says, “Hen, M Étienne, vous avez le même chandail que M Édouard?!”

 He pauses, mid sentence and looks down to the shirt he’s wearing underneath the sweater and feels a split second of anxiety.

 It is, indeed, Edward’s shirt. Kids can be so – observant when they want to.

 There’s a perfectly good reason for the shirt.

 Kind of.

 Not one he’s about to share with the kids, who’ve now noticed that their art teacher has the same shirt as their teacher and who are making a Big Deal out of it.

 Last afternoon, like every other afternoon, at the end of the school day, Edward had set out to drive him home, like he does nearly every afternoon and as he’s been doing for the past year and a half. However, halfway through the ride, after their discussion on what they were each making for supper, Étienne had made a comment about how much better Edward’s supper sounded, and his boyfriend had asked him if he wanted to stay for supper.

 Étienne had said yes, obviously, and supper had turned into watching some television together, which had turned into making-out on the sofa, which had led Edward to pull Étienne to his bedroom, which had turned into more fooling around, which had culminated in Étienne spending the night on a weekday night.

 It had been a really good night, though. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sex on a school night.

 Therefore, seeing as he hadn’t been prepared to spend the night and seeing as they’d gone to bed past their normal bedtime and had rushed in the morning, Étienne hadn’t really thought anything when he’d asked Edward if he could borrow a shirt for the day. He’d picked his favourite one, Edward had driven them to school, and all the while Étienne had thought that maybe he should leave a change of clothes at Edward’s – in case this happened again. He’d like for it to happen again. Especially the impromptu version.

 “Ah oui?” He plays dumb. Thankfully, the shirt is a simple button down in powder blue. “J’imagine qu’on a du l’acheter au même magasin. C’est drôle, hein?” He laughs and the students giggle as well, before he ushers them to their seats so that they can start the lesson.

 No one else brings it up and the rest of the period goes off without further incidents.

 There’s half an hour left before lunch, when he happens to see the light blinking on his cell phone, alerting him of a message. His third group is busy working on their projects, and so, even though he’s not supposed to, he checks his phone and sees that Edward has sent him a text. Curious, he opens it up, wondering what it says.

 “Can we do lunch?”

 They hadn’t discussed eating together, but Étienne is never one to say no, unless he legitimately can’t.

 “Sure : )”

 He doesn’t bother to wait for an answer and goes back to his lesson.

 Edward shows up to the art room ten minutes after lunch started, after he’s brought his own kids to the cafeteria, and knocks on the door as he always does. Étienne looks up from the paint pucks he’s been setting up and grins, before he motions him in. He walks over to the door and makes sure to lock it behind Edward, before he pecks his boyfriend’s cheek in greeting.

 “Nice shirt,” Edward offers and Étienne lets out a semi-embarrassed laugh.

 “I guess you heard?”

 “It’s all the kids were talking about.”

 There’s a point of seriousness to Edward’s voice and Étienne wonders if maybe his boyfriend is bothered by this. If he hasn’t had a change of heart.

 “I’m sorry if I made things weird – I promise I didn’t tell them anything – just that we must have gotten it at the same store.”

 They both take a seat on the couch at the back of the room and Edward lets himself slump over with a deep sigh.

 “No – it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I played along as well and it’s fine, but – is it stupid that I got scared for a moment? That they’d figure it out and react?”

 Étienne blinks, confused for only a second and then it hits him. What it could mean. What it could look like. What it could lead to.

 “It’s not stupid,” Étienne says after a moment, a quiet little admission of defeat. “This is still school. People like us have been fired for less.”

 It’s a sobering fact to remember. It leaves a chill in the room that even the coziest of sweaters can’t whisk away.

 “I don’t know – maybe it would be easier if there was a precedent. Some queer kid in the school. Queer parents. Something that would let us know it’s okay,” Sure, the union has an ally branch – but for the kids. There’s never really anything mentioned for staff. Even when he tried to look, he’s found nothing.

 Edward picks up, “Yet, in all my years here, I’ve never heard of a student having queer parents. Or even mentioning a queer family member or friend. I mean, I get we’re in elementary. Kids coming out happens more frequently in high school, but still. It would help. Would ease the tension and the anxiety.”

 He remembers hearing stories growing up. He remembers the fear he had felt, even then, without knowing. The sleepless nights afterwards. Wondering, always, how would it impact him, even though this was a new millennium. It’s always easier to say that one is tolerant, another to apply it when faced with the facts. Would the school accept two queer teachers? Would the parents turn on them? Would the school ask them to leave, politely, before they caused more damage? Because parents would talk? Would they even?

 Étienne reaches out and gives his knee a squeeze. “I hate that I get what you mean,” He sighs out and spares him a glance, “And that we have to choose – between being ourselves or going back into some proverbial closet. Potentially losing a job and causing a scene, or keeping our heads down and passing by.”

 “Yeah...” He’s relieved Étienne gets it. He would, obviously, but he’s relieved regardless. If anything, at least, he’s not alone. He’s not going back home to some other boyfriend who doesn’t have to worry about this one issue and who won’t understand. He’s been there before.

 “I know it’s not ideal, but I’m not – I don’t think I’m ready. To be out. Here.” He casts a worried glance around the room and then to Étienne, afraid his boyfriend will get annoyed. They’ve only been dating for a few short months and he knows he should have brought this up over summer, but – he’d forgotten. “I know you’re more – out than me. In your style and way of dressing... and I know it’s asking a lot.”

 “Hey, no, I get it – I really do.” Étienne says and tugs at Edward’s body until his boyfriend is leaning on him, using his chest as a pillow, “The school institution in itself is still a very conservative place full of archaic rules. I’m fine with playing it safe and testing the waters. Not rocking the boat and all. I might be the art teacher and get away with some things, but believe it or not there are still things I keep to myself as well.”

 They’ve spoken some about this over the summer, once they’d started dating. Of certain things they both enjoy doing that wouldn’t be accepted by the school’s dress code. Certain hobbies that might be frowned upon by more conservative minded people. It’s exhausting, really and they both hate it. Yet, even if they decided to take up arms to fight the stigma, it would take a lot of time and they’re both uncertain they have the drive in them for it.

 “Sometimes, I wish I had a different job. One where I could – dress the way I wanted and just be me. No one would question it.” Edward admits, his head on Étienne’s shoulder where it’s nice and safe. “I mean, I know that there are issues everywhere and that even if I worked at a bank a client could decide not to touch money I handled because I’m gay, or something, but I feel that there’s an extra layer in a school. Because of the kids.”

 He’s heard stories – on the news, online, of parents accusing teachers – hell, even more open-minded straight teachers of turning their kids “gay” because of class discussions or certain books they’d make their kids read or some other stupid thing. He knows they live in a pretty tolerant and open-minded city, but it doesn’t mean everyone is on board and there’s no way of knowing which parents would be on their side and which ones would want them out. Unfortunately, there is no survey that’s sent out at the start of the year along with photo authorisations.

 “I hate that I always have to fucking lie and pretend.” Edward concludes with another frustrated sigh.

 “Me too,” Étienne adds.

 They fall quiet for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, imagining what their lives could be like if there wasn’t this constant stress, simmering in the back of their minds, dictating their every move – watching and waiting for them to tumble and fall.

 “I don’t know if it makes things easier or harder that we work in the same place and that we’re together, but I know I’m glad I’m not alone – that if anything, we can at least get support from one another and maybe, hopefully, with time, we’ll find out who the allies are.”

 Edward looks at him and scrubs a hand over his face, before he offers him the smallest of smiles. It’s not much, but Étienne will take it.

 “I guess you’re right,” He pauses and then looks over to Étienne, “Okay, but what were the actual odds that in a job composed mostly of women, the only two male teachers would not only be queer but end up together?” He huffs a laugh and Étienne grins, joining him.

 “Probably very little, but I don’t regret it.”

 He means it, truly. He’d obviously enjoyed being friends with Edward, but he likes where their relationship has been going and he hopes that – even if it’s a little unconventional, that they’ll manage to overcome whatever hardships and insecurities will come their way.

 “Me neither.” They might have to make concessions because of their work, but Edward has vowed to himself, years ago, that he wouldn’t stop himself from being happy and living his life because of what others might think of him. He might not be willing to go to battle over every issue, but he’ll find ways to make this work. They both will.

 “For the record, you can keep the shirt – it looks really good on you.”

 Étienne laughs, this time for real, and it’s closer to his usual carefree laugh, before he playfully hits Edward on the shoulder.

 FIN

[generalasshattery]

How the Kombatants Handle Break-Ups

Kabal

Before the burns, Kabal’s strong sense of self value, and trust in his ability to treat partners well means he’s able to process the pain without it shaking his self esteem. That’s not to say it’s easy for him, Kabal loves a person with reckless abandon and puts his whole heart into every relationship he’s in. So when someone walks away from it, it’s shattering for him, and it takes him a lot of time to be ready to get back into a serious relationship. He doesn’t believe in pursuing someone while they’d still have to live in the shadow cast by another. So he does his mopey routine, drinks a lot, eats a lot of ice cream. He watches all those sappy romance movies when he’s especially upset, and jams to break out music when he’s just angry about it.

After the scarring, a break up has the ability to really shake his confidence about trying again. While it may take months for him before the incident to be willing to give his heart away, it could be well over a year before he does it now. He process the pain in much the same way, but the ability to trust his worth just isn’t what it was. It’ll change the way he moves on with the next one, making him even less certain about making the first move. Or even allowing someone else to. He’s a fighter though, and he’s survived so much. Even if it takes him a lot longer, he’s going to be ready eventually. You can’t keep a man like him down forever.

Kuai Liang

He’s an introvert, so there’s no teary eyed goodbyes or deeply and visibly emotional moments of pain. He feels it though, it sits in his chest and stays there in a knot so tight he’s constantly trying to rub the pain away. It’s a physical hurt that mirrors the emotional one he feels after opening up his heart for another to deem it lacking. He handles it not by reaching out, but by reaching inward. He meditates often, and tries to find a healthy ways of processing it. He doesn’t dwell on it when he can avoid it, and channels his energy into both his tasks as grandmaster, and getting his life settled without them. He’s got new routines to rebuild, and cutting them out of his life is not something he can do overnight.

Cassie Cage

She isn’t a wallower so she won’t stay miserable for too long. That’s not to say she isn’t very much impacted by what happens, she bonds deeply with people and someone she cared about leaving her life makes her feel like failed she them. Like she wasn’t there enough for them, or that she didn’t make them happy. Those sort of feelings take a while to process. So Cassie takes advantage of her support system, and she spends as much time out with her friends as she can to try to bring some fun back into her life during something so painful for her. But when she’s at her lowest, and feeling too sad to even attempt to cheer herself up, she turns to her dad. Cassie will always rely on Johnny for emotional support. Johnny’s heart always melts for his little girl, and he’ll take every crying call, or let her crash at his place for as long as she needs.

Hanzo Hasashi

Hanzo tends to funnel his emotions directly into anger, especially when it comes to a sense of loss. He’s not mad at his former partner though, he’s too honorable of a man to take out that anger on anyone who’s mattered deeply to him. He’s angry with himself. Angry for letting himself get wrapped up in feelings when he knows it always ends in some kind of pain. Mad for not being a good enough partner and figuring out how to work things out. Mad about all the things he though he could’ve handled better. So he buries himself in his duties as grandmaster and trains twice as hard. He doesn’t take it out on members of his clan by being extra stern, only on himself by demanding he be better in everything he can control.

Fujin

Fujin has a remarkably mature understanding of relationships, and given his agelessness, he expects that all of them are destined to come to an end through one way or another. It’s a small relief, one supposes, that he gets to have a relationship not end with the death of his partner. He’s quite able to see the relationship in terms of the grander scheme of his life, and can take with him the good memories and the connection he shared with another. Don’t misunderstand though, he is sad when any relationship ends, but he just processes it in a healthier way. He doesn’t fight his feelings, he lets himself grieve the relationship and move on only when he’s ready. Someone he loved will always matter to him, regardless of how or why they parted from him. There’s never any bitterness on his part, and you may find him the rare sort that’s genuinely able to remain close friends with a former romantic partner.

Bi-han

Bi-han is remarkably callous about how he handles his break ups. A romantic partner is possibly the only person he invests real emotion in, and when something causes that to end it’s painful for him. If it ended on good enough terms, or for reasons outside of either his or their control, they’ll find he leaves their life with a proper goodbye. If he loved them, he will always be a willing ally when your in need as a thank you for the love they shared. There’s no friendship though, he does disappear from their life as completely as he can. Bad break ups, well, there’s no goodbye, he’s just gone. Dealing with it though is something he does internally, and many might not ever see the hurt he’s carrying with him. He’s a man that doesn’t convey emotion, and the feelings he has are conflicted to say the least. So he goes back to focusing on training and missions, and the only way anyone can tell he’s really feeling the pain is how much more vicious he becomes while working.

[jebazzled]

SOOO the Drama: Making it Work with Tragic Backstories

Hi everyone, how are we doing? It’s been a while since my last unsolicited tutorial. Is everyone eating well? Is everyone drinking water? Dressing warmly if it’s cold wherever you live? 

Today we’ll be talking about tragic backstories, and how to use them rather than abuse them. 

This tutorial will mention a number of triggers, though not with great detail - more in the interest of providing context. 

Specific triggers mentioned: abandonment, verbal abuse, child neglect, car accident, transphobia, animal death, cheating, bullying, parental death

In the rp community we often joke about loving to put our characters through hell - about really running them ragged - making ourselves weepy. For a lot of us, writing Heavy Emotional Content is a lot more fun than fluff, or characters who are happy, fulfilled, and well-adjusted. I’m literally planning to kill off one of my characters in the next couple of weeks. I get it. 

But there’s also a fair amount of discourse in the rp community about what is pejoratively called “trauma porn.” It’s discourse that is warranted! Because while we love fictional drama, the truth is that sometimes...

well, sometimes it can be too much, can’t it? 

Here’s the thing about trauma: a tragic backstory does not a well-developed character make. Too often, too many of us lean on these traumatic histories as a crutch towards building a character, without meaningfully exploring that trauma with any depth. The truth is, in fiction, tragedy only builds character when when you do. And tragedy is far from the only way to create a nuanced character. 

In this tutorial, we will examine common approaches to character backstories, alternatives to tragedy-as-a-default, and figure out how to have your cake (the feels) and eat it too (with purpose.)

BUILD-A-BACKSTORY

In my experience, the most common approach to writing a freestyle application is writing a chronological history (you can read my app guides, including thots on alternative styles of freestyle, here). Ain’t nothing wrong with that! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! 

It’s an approach that makes sense, as it forces you to fill in the blanks to answer the question: why is my character Like That? And often, as writers, our first instinct is to provide the saddest answer possible.

“Why is Susie so clingy?” 

Her parents abandoned her at a fire station when she was an infant, and rather than being raised in foster care, she grew up at the fire station. But the entire company that raised her died while fighting a wildfire, and she is certain that any time anyone walks away from her, they will never come back. 

“Why is Brent such a misogynist?” 

His mother never wanted him and told him so every day of his youth. When he hit puberty, she stopped speaking to him entirely, and the day he turned eighteen, she changed the locks while he was at school. 

“Why is Lichen such a high-achieving go-getter?” 

Lichen was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning they break their legs, and every afternoon they break their arms. At night, they lie awake in agony until their heart attacks put them to sleep.

Feels like a lot, doesn’t it? I may have done a little exaggeration, but - not a lot, frankly. 

Especially if other characters on a site are loaded with tragic histories, it can be hard not to equate a certificate from the school of hard knocks with a Pulitzer. You want something juicy to write about, yes? And this is all so juicy! 

But here’s the rub: often, these histories will never come up again outside of an application, or will not be practically dev’d out beyond shock value. Susie will never be reminded of Frank, the fireman who taught her to ride a bike. Brent will focus his sexist comments on objectifying women’s bodies rather than degrading their personalities and motives, which were the issues with his mother. Someone who didn’t read Lichen’s app would have no clue that they have had a total horror show of a life. 

If you are writing a tragic backstory that doesn’t have a continual impact on your character, you are writing trauma porn, and it is doing nothing for your character. 

This doesn’t mean that your characters should be fully and constantly occupied with memories of their trauma - in fact, constant introspection is an easy way to stall threads (per my “why aren’t people writing with me?” guide here) - but it does mean that if your answer to the question, “why is my character Like That” is a compelling one, it is one that a reader should be able to answer even if they haven’t read your app, if they’ve read a few of your threads or other writing. 

This is a careful balance, of course, but think of your characters the way you think of yourself! For example: probably the most Potentially Dramatic thing about my personal life is that my older sister is developmentally disabled, and I am one of her legal guardians. When my parents die, I will inherit my older sister, and will uproot my life from wherever I am living at the time to move back to my hometown and make sure she is taken care of and happy. This is not something that I constantly think about, but it is difficult to know me for any meaningful length of time and not be aware that I have a developmentally disabled sister, as I mention her in passing, think about her when her favorite music comes up on Spotify, and tell people to donate to her favorite charity, Special Olympics. 

If I were writing an app of myself as a character and spent a good portion of the app untangling my relationship with my sister, and then never mentioned her in any of my thread posts, then is she really important to my character? Or was I flexing her for depth?

Do you see what I am getting at here? If it matters, it will come up more than once. If it only comes up once, and it’s in your app, you should think of something to explain your character’s personality and motivations that is perhas a little less loaded. 

BUT WITHOUT THE SADS, HOW DO?

The good news is: you absolutely do not need a tragic backstory to write a nuanced character! Again - think of your characters the way you think of yourself, or of other real people. While everyone has gone through heavy things in their lives from time to time, chances are that your life does not resemble that of a soap opera protagonist. And aren’t you a multifaceted person, full of depth and life? Aren’t you someone whose story is worth telling, even if it feels like your life is pretty ordinary? 

After all, it’s not the past that makes a character - it’s the present, their current voice, actions, and missteps. That is where you want the real juice to be, because that is the shit you’re writing! 

Some potential “everyday histories” for our above cast of characters:

“Why is Susie so clingy?”

In elementary and middle school, Susie was bullied on and off - a few weeks spent hanging out with the in-crowd, followed by a month as a social pariah. She could never understand why. When she moved to a different state for high school, she attached herself like a barnacle to the clique the Tulips, and has made it her goal not to let herself get shaken back to the outskirts this time. 

This isn’t as dramatic as Susie’s earlier backstory - in fact, it could apply to any number of people, being passed between friend groups for years on end. But again: your character doesn’t need a one-of-a-kind daytime talk show-worthy backstory to have a unique and compelling history and voice! 

“Why is Brent such a misogynist?”

Brent’s mother never wanted children, and made it pretty clear to him throughout his youth. His father, though, as always there for him - including when his mother walked out and never came back, after cheating on Mr. Brent’s Dad for years. From then on, Brent and his dad only had each other - and their bitterness towards the woman who wronged them.

This still gives you some family drama - unloving mother, and some adultery - but having Brent be raised by someone who has their own beef with women eliminates the shock value of locking your son out merely for being a boy. Also, this take acknowledges misogyny as a learned behavior.

“Why is Lichen such a high-achieving go-getter?”

When their parents divorced, Lichen only came out to their mother as nonbinary, and presents a fully different persona when they are with their father. Being in the top 5% of their high school class and being a national champion Lincoln-Douglas debater is the only thing Lichen and (deadname) have in common. 

I acknowledge that Lichen’s previous story was a meme. The above story could be made much more intense (for example, if Lichen’s father were a member of the Westboro Baptist Church and then Lichen’s supportive mother dies in a freak accident and Lichen, unable to hide their true identity, is imprisoned in their father’s basement until they pretend to have seen the error of their ways and identify as cis again) but the above gives plenty to chew on! 

While drama and trauma can be satisfying to write, there is plenty of drama to be found in the everyday. Building a well-rounded character is much less about what happened to them and much more about what they are doing, thinking, and feeling now. 

That said, 

TIPS & TRICKS FOR WRITING TRAGIQUE CHARACTERS

Don’t go overboard. If it is not going to come up ever again after the app: leave it out. 

Impact is about the character, not the reader. If it was important enough to leave in the app, it should have an identifiable impact on your character. The main purpose cannot have been to shock the reader. 

It’s not meaningful JUST because it happened. If someone can follow your character’s story for any extended amount of time and not realize that, say, your character’s mother died in a boating accident, then it isn’t actually important that your character’s mother died in a boating accident, and you should let her live. 

If ALL of your characters have a heavily dramatic backstory, ALL of your heavily dramatic backstories lose their meaning. Dramatic backstories are fun but they should not be a constant: they will begin to feel cheap and lazy. 

Your character does not need to dwell on their tragic backstory! While a character should acknowledge their history, a character does not need to realize that their backstory is meant to be tragic. For example, Sally might have been raised by her Aunt Agatha after her parents disappeared in a hot air balloon when she was a baby. Rather than being sad about her missing parents, Sally might think of them as total strangers and of Agatha as her sole parental figure - and her sadness might be for Agatha, who does miss Mr. and Ms. Pumpernickel. 

And that’s literally all she wrote! I hope you find this helpful when you’re writing your characters - tragic or otherwise - and developing their plotlines. The world is not made of trauma and fluff alone, friends. Go forth and contain multitudes!

[darthmanius-abandoned]

so first of all I want to make clear that I was not saying you should have died of cancer. I was trying to point out to your gf that she was being nasty by laughing at how upset the bellarke stans are. To some of us losing bellamy is like losing a family member or a gf/bf and I was pointing out that kicking someone while they are down is low. All the clexas who are celebrating are low

You came at my girlfriend, out of so many people doing the exact same thing. You went to the effort of going from her profile to mine and then used my VERY REAL cancer diagnosis to compare that to your VERY FICTIONAL character dying.

I spent 7 months in a long term ward, because I didn’t have anyone who could take care of me at home at the time. For most of that time, I wasn’t able to see anything outside of that ward. For 3 of those months I didn’t see anything outside my fucking room. Because Covid had hit and I was being kept in isolation to try and keep me safe. I was constantly in pain, unable to eat because everything I did try to eat I either couldn’t get it down or it would just be vomited back up, I was coughing up blood, had frequent nosebleeds, all my bones were aching and I couldn’t even control my bodily functions! Not to mention the fact that isolation was taking a toll on me mentally and I started seeing weird patterns and shit in the walls and bodiless voices.

While I understand that the loss of a TV character can have a significant impact on people, I mean Lexa’s death absolutely shattered me, there is NO COMPARISON between a fictional character’s death and cancer. And you had the nerve to compare the death of Bellamy to my death from cancer to my girlfriend.

That is what pissed her off. Bellamy is a character. Bob Morley is alive and well. I’m a real human being who had to look death in the face. So while I understand that you were trying to communicate how significant Bellamy’s death was to you, you went about it in entirely the wrong way. As I said before, there is no comparison. My girlfriend was by my side and she saw what I went through. She saw how hard it was on me. She supported me through it and kept me from losing ALL my marbles as opposed to just most of them.

Now. As for the Clexa fans celebrating. Let me explain this for you as simply as I can. For 4 years, Bellarke fans (SOME, not all) we’re making fun of Clexa fans. Invading chats with pictures of Lexa’s death, sending memes of dead lesbians, sending pictures of ashes and saying it was Lexa, “Lexa’s a rotting corpse” and in some cases, suggesting that Clexa fans should join Lexa in death! And that is just scratching the surface of what they did. Bellamy’s actions, in part, indirectly contributed to the circumstances that got Lexa killed. Clexa fans have held a resentment because Bellamy never saw any punishment for his actions because he was Golden Boy Bellamy. He’s been responsible for at least 2 mass murders. He was never morally on the right side of anything. So in purely a storyline sense, Clexa fans are glad to see he finally got his comeuppance.

They are also glad to see that the Bellarke fandom was also fucked over by Jason the exact same way we were! We tried to tell you guys that the guy hated us all. We tried to tell you he would use you for views only to throw you away like garbage. But you thought it would be different for you. You thought he would treat you guys differently. Surprise!! He hates y’all too!! He doesn’t give a fuck about any of us! The man you spent years defending, the guy who’s show you kept up with sticky tape and popsicle sticks turned around and stabbed you in the back the same way he did to us. There is some petty satisfaction in that.

And I don’t want to hear how you guys were all “baited” as bad as the Clexa fans were. Here is the difference. For 7 season, the actors have referred to it as “this Bellarke shit” and frequently referred to Bellarke as platonic. Jason himself has said it I don’t know how many times. Yes, the writing was done to cast some doubt over those statements, but that was Jason being a cock because he KNEW that without your views, his show was going down like the fucking Titanic. That’s on Jason. But the actors have been trying to tell you for YEARS that it wasn’t going to happen. Because most of those actors give a shit about their fans, and while they’re contracts gagged them to a point, they tried to tell you.

Clexa, on the other hand, was different. Jason paraded himself around like a champion of LGBTQ+ representation. He specifically said not to worry about Lexa dying. He invited fans to video the filming in Vancouver, specifically the filming that Alycia and Eliza were doing, to try and give the illusion that Lexa was still alive in the finale. He deliberately misled people into believing Lexa was safe, so they felt safe to watch S3. And when 3x07 came, THAT made the blow so so so so much worse. He did that ON PURPOSE.

Not to mention the WAY in which Lexa was killed off. She was caught by a stray bullet not intended for her because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Right after her and Clarke had finally consummated their relationship. It was weak, it was disgusting and it was pathetic. THAT IS SO MUCH MORE BAITING THAN WHAT HAPPENED WITH BELLARKE

I do have sympathy for the Bellarke fans who are emotionally devastated by this, I really do. And I hope that everyone is going to be ok and we don’t see any tragedies out of this. I really, truly do. But my sympathy only reaches a certain point because they showed no sympathy for us when we were in this position. I will not tolerate any further comparisons between a fictional character and my cancer diagnosis. So I would advise you to leave myself and my girlfriend alone from here on. Your time and energy would be better spent supporting your fellow Bellarkes. Just a suggestion.

(P.S. My girlfriend says hi 👋)

[drawlfoy]

Honey, Honey

masterlist request guidelines requests are open! 

pairing: draco x reader

request: yes! hopefully you’re into this!

summary: reader is confused as to why draco suddenly pulled away from her after an..interesting night. loosely based off of my interpretation of ABBA’s Honey, Honey.

warnings: fluff, underage drinking, draco being a lightweight, me not knowing how to write drunk people because i’m a law abiding american woman, language, some blood mentions 

a/n: this is the very first song fic i’ve written, and i’m not going to do it the classic way they’re normally executed. i’m not a big fan of injecting the lyrics into dialogue or just pasting the lyrics into the space in between scenes. instead, i’m going to alter the lyrics to fit into certain moments of dialogue to aid the flow of the story. also i’ve never seen mamma mia so if i totally took this song out of context i’m sorry!

taglist: @accio-rogers

music recs: believe it or not i’m gonna rec honey, honey by ABBA and even writer in the dark from lorde, if you’re feeling rebellious

word count: 1,873

She’d known of the Slytherin for years and years, ever since she’d started at Hogwarts. How could she not have noticed him? He was notoriously skilled at drawing attention to himself--his uncommonly pale, shiny head did the job quite well.

Countless times, Y/N had watched him as he gracefully sat himself across from her at the table, shooting her a dazzling smile while still controlling his composure, appearing as nonchalant as ever. They’d toss a few words at each other, some to test the sparring waters, others to wish each other luck on the upcoming exam. Y/N could go as far to say that she was proud to be acquaintances with her crush, no matter how hopeless her feelings were.

And that’s why it was such a shock to see a very inebriated Draco Malfoy stumble about in her common room on a wild Friday night. He always made appearances at parties, maybe sipping a few drinks and playing a classic game of Truth or Dare, but never getting drunk enough to lose his cool, unbothered image. 

Y/N watched from the dark green leather couch, nursing a still-full cup of firewhiskey while her legs were tucked up under herself. While it was concerning, she couldn’t deny that it was at least a little humorous. Draco Malfoy didn’t stumble, he glided from place to place on his swanky, custom-made dress shoes.

She glanced down at her drink for a second, looking up only when she heard the unorganized shuffling of feet in front of her. 

“Hey, Draco,” she greeted the blonde, smiling up at him.  “What’s up?”

He didn’t say anything, choosing to look down at her with his mouth agape instead.

“Do I have something on my face? Or...” She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Can I sit?” he managed, only slightly slurring his words. Y/N thanked Merlin that the party had mostly cleared out by now, each member having returned to their respective dorms, otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to make out his words. 

“Yes, yes, do you need help?” Y/N unfolded her legs, positioning herself to aid his way down. He raised a hand to block her in protest, heavily flopping down on the couch.

“Hey, that’s my spot!” she complained, placing her drink on the coffee table and shooting him an exaggerated frown.

“Still could be,” he muttered, opening his arms up as an invitation. 

Y/N blushed furiously, choosing to sit down next to the blonde boy instead of on top of him. 

“So, what’s going on? I’ve never seen you this drunk before.” Y/N had a feeling that she had no business pressing the issue, but she couldn’t help but be curious.

As expected, he rolled his eyes and evaded meeting hers. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Why’d you come over here then?”

“��Cause I’m lonely and I like you,” he grumbled, his posh accent lost on the lazy words coming out of his mouth. 

Y/N’s eyes widened. “You...what?”

“I’m lonely? Yeah, not sure if you noticed, but all my friends left,” he complained, leaning over so his now ruffled hair brushed against her cheek for the briefest of moments.

“You know that’s not what I was asking about,” Y/N said, focusing all her energy on not letting too much excitement into her voice. 

“Then ask me the question, I don’t have all day,” he said. Before Y/N could begin formulating a coherent answer, he leaned into her so her side was now holding up his upper body.

“Draco, you’re acting weird,” she noted, observing the flush on his cheeks that was visible, even in the dim lighting up the common room. “How much have you had?”

“You’re evading the question, Y/N,” he taunted, his cheek rubbing across her shoulder. Who knew Draco would be such a cuddly drunk?

“You like me?” The words blurted out before she lost the confidence to do so. 

“We talk every morning,” he told her, turning his head up to be level with her ear. Each inhale and exhale made from Draco sent shivers down her spine, and she fought to keep them at bay. “You really think I would do that if I disliked you?”

As one of his hands began to fiddle with the sleeve of her jumper, another wave of courage hit her. 

“But do you fancy me?”

She didn’t know what she was expecting--perhaps for him to freeze, pull away, to get up and sneer at her--but he didn’t do anything she could’ve thought of.

Draco was suddenly wrapped around her arm, drawing circles on the bare skin that had been exposed and still resting his cheek on her shoulder. 

“Don’t be daft,” he murmured. “How could I not.”

This time it was Y/N whose body grew rigid. “Oh.”

“I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that,” he confessed, his own fingers ceasing movement. “Yeah. I really wasn’t supposed to tell you. Forget I ever said anything.” 

Draco seemed to sober up, leaning away from her and releasing her arm. Y/N watched in shock as he got up to walk away.

“Wait!” Her hand shot out to grab his own, keeping him from moving any further. “Please don’t go. I lik--fancy you, too.”

He turned to face her, a bittersweet expression swallowing his elegant features. Within seconds, he was kneeling in front of her, his face level with hers. He took her face in his hands, a gesture he did so tenderly that tears pricked in her eyes. 

Their lips met, and Y/N felt her heart stop.

He pulled away after just a few seconds, meeting her eyes with a pleading look.

“I know.” His thumb dragged across her cheekbone, lingering there for a second before he finally moved away, leaving Y/N to try and decipher his actions. 

oOo (oooh that’s right, i’m changing up my scene breaks because even tho the hearts looked cute on desktop they looked ugly on mobile and i love you guys too much to do that)

After that night, Y/N began seeing much less of Draco. His unassigned assigned seat moved down to the very end of the Slytherin table, leaving her with Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode to converse with. He no longer showed up to dorm parties, and she often saw him coming and going out of the common room at odd hours. 

She couldn’t exactly understand what was going on with him. Sure, she’d heard the rumors of him being a Death Eater, but she couldn’t imagine that being the case. Draco was too young, too sweet to accept such a thing.

Perhaps he was just avoiding her. Y/N was somewhat flattered that she may have had such an impact on his life, but she was also deeply hurt. She missed having someone to bitch with at every meal, as silly as it sounded. And she didn’t think that she was that bad of a kisser. 

Y/N let herself believe that it was just the courseload. 6th year was a difficult time for every student, and Draco was no exception. His parents expected too much out of him, and while she understood their motives, she couldn’t help but pity him. 

She was at a pained peace for the next few months as she attempted to forget about the night in the common room and how sweetly he treated her. Unfortunately, her introspection was interrupted one winter afternoon when she saw Snape helping a certain blonde Slytherin to the hospital wing. His white dress shirt was bloodied, and Y/N couldn’t help but yelp at the sight. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” Snape greeted briskly. She saw Draco’s head bob up in recognition. “I trust that nobody will be hearing about what you’re seeing from you.”

It was an order and an underhanded request for her to leave them be, but Draco mattered to her, and now she was certain that something wasn’t right. There was no way this was just coursework. 

“What happened to him?” she shrilled, wincing at her voice. 

“Nothing to see, Y/L/N,” Snape affirmed, walking past her and shooting her a dangerous look. “I’d hate to take any house points away.”

She stood with her mouth hanging open, frozen in shock. “You can’t be serious! He’s hurt!”

“How kind of you to inform me,” Snape snapped. “Run along, or detention for a month.” 

Her eyes widened and she dashed off, embarrassed that she could be bought off with the mention of detentions. But, at the same time, she knew that all she had to do was wait, wait for Snape to leave him be. Madame Pomfrey had a soft spot for Y/N, and she would most likely allow her to see him. 

oOo

“I really don’t think a visitor is what he needs right now,” Madame Pomfrey stated, wringing out bloodied rags and reshuffling bottles of Dittany. 

“Please, please, I promise I won’t do anything to upset or fatigue him,” Y/N pleaded, meeting the woman with her most convincing look. “I’ve been so worried about him, and he’s my friend. I brought him the homework from today.”

Madame Pomfrey studied her for a moment.

“Fine. Leave the curtain open, though, and if I say you need to leave, you need to leave.”

Y/N grinned, restraining the urge to jump with joy. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Pomfrey shooed her off, pointing her in the general direction of where Draco lay. She strode over, opening the curtain and sitting in the chair by the bed.

Draco was deathly pale, even more than usual. His eyelashes were closed, casting faint shadows on his very prominent purple eyebags. Even though he looked sickly, his hair looked as soft as ever.

“Draco,” she said softly, reaching her hand out to touch his. He jerked awake, he eyes snapping open and focusing on her.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” he hissed. He tried to sit up but groaned, laying back down after the pain hit him. 

“I had to come see you,” she admitted, stroking up and down his arm. “I’ve been worried about you. I miss you. Did I do something?”

He blinked hard. 

“No, no, this has nothing to do with you.” He flinched at the dismissive tone, but he didn’t know what else to say. “You’ve heard the rumors. Things are getting strange and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Get hurt?” She wrapped her fingers around his arm, noticing how tense he became. “I can take care of myself, and I really, really like you, and I wish you’d stop avoiding me.”

Draco shut his eyes, falling back onto his pillow so he was looking up at the ceiling.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be, Draco,” she quipped, releasing his arm to intertwine his fingers with hers. 

He shuddered, thinking for a few moments. 

“Okay? You’ll stop avoiding me?” she asked hopefully, making to leave.

“As long as you stay here a little longer, I could use the company.” He smirked at her, peering through his eyelashes.

“Of course,” she agreed, setting her things down and sitting again. Y/N moved the chair closer to the the top of the bed, carding her fingers through his hair as he shut his eyes, finally content. 

final a/n: i was gonna go for adding song lyrics at the end but i was like uhhhh better not. did not edit or get a beta to read this. if you’re just dying to be a beta reader let me know since my grammatical errors from lazy writing are getting out of hand haha. thanks for reading, let me know what you thought!

[unikornu]

Page 12, The Gals Time, L&L,

The sun was slowly reaching a horizon casting a strong orange shade on the Nuka Town. Lucy and Gage were on the way back from another journey out into the dry desert, their spirits up as nothing seemed to disturb their routine of slowly getting the gangs under control. 

-Boss, are you sure you had nothing to do with that haunted little girl crap story? You seem pretty capable of causing mayhem from what i’ve seen. Gage joked and enjoyed the view in front of him as the boss was swinging her hips to the sides, puffing a smoke of his cigarette in the air. 

-Just because someone had a same name doesn’t mean its me, c'mon we know it was not even real. She kicked open the door to Fizztop and turned towards the elevator. - But i could show you something that is pretty fucking real..upstairs, if you catch my drift. She looked at him, biting her lips and leaned with her back to the wall at the elevator’s door. 

The more time they were spending together without arguing and fighting instead, pushing their plans onward the more deeper she seemed to fall into the rough raider and this post-nuclear lifestyle as it fitted her as well, even better than the one she had before. Gage wasn’t pushing her hidden suggestions away as often as he used to before, approaching her with his usual grin and looking down at her with certain satisfaction in his eye.

-Ohh…I bet you could start even on the way up hm? He punched a button next to her shoulder and as their lips were shortening the distance Gage suddenly stopped and pulled back up. 

- What now…? Lucy pouted and puffed at him, slightly annoyed by breaking the moment. 

- The elevator Boss…it is up, it never is as we leave. Something ain’t right. Someone else used it. They both backed off from the door with their weapons ready as the lift arrived down, its door opened, empty.

  -That someone might still be up there. Use the outside one and i will go from here. And take this, it might be a trap. She threw him a stealth boy and entered the elevator. 

- Ok Boss, just…be careful. They nodded at each other and as the door closed she crouched low and hugged the corner inside. Raider at the same time covered himself invisible and moved up from the outside.

 *ding* The door slide open, Lucy awaiting in the shadows for any sounds of steps from the room. Silence. She stood up and walked silently towards the patio eyeballing for anything suspicious around. Upon approaching the the two winged door she put her ear to the wooden rough structure of it, hearing just Gage arriving up. She opened the door slowly peeking through a small crack seeing just a dark tall silhouette. She gasped loudly and fell back as the bullet ripped through the wood right next to her cheek. - Fuck! He’s at the bar! Take this fucker down!

Gage heard the signal and as he was about to shove some lead into the man’s head his camouflage worn off. The man dodged the bullet, ducking behind the bar, answering the fire with the laser pistol. Using the distraction Lucy rolled towards the middle bar. She noticed the man wearing a long blue coat and a round classic hat, his face covered with a metalic mask and something that looked like a minuteman sign on his sleeve. As the men were exchanging bullets, shuttering everything to a pieces on their way she noticed that the stranger started heading towards the broken window pulling a stealth device from his pocket.

  - Oh no, you ain’t going anywhere sir. She threw her knife swiftly, its blade flying towards the man’s leg as he was about to make a long jump outside, losing his balance in a process and falling straight down to the hard concrete. The sound of body squashing upon the impact almost pulled the disgust on both of their faces but it turned fast into a chuckle. - Lets go see who the hell he was, maybe there is still something…scrapable. She ordered and rode down with the raider.

To their surprise the body was no longer down, vanished, only blood splattered around, her knife and a holotape, undamaged. She picked it up and shoved into the pipboy.

  “After a week her signal disappeared at the station. Next signal appeared almost a month later from the location…called..safari adventure? whatever, one of our bots managed to catch their plot. She wasn’t kidnapped or lost, neither she’s dead. Instead turned on us and the Commonwealth…traitorous bitch. We need to take her down before. When u finish, put the eyebot back on the patrol. I want to know everything so minutemen can prepare…”

-Oh my God…i forgot that Sturges installed that chip…in my pipboy in case of…. Fuck. Her face paled as she look back at Gage, her hands shaking.

-Boss…i will be fucking serious right now. Gage forehead wrinkled heavily as his eyebrows twitched into the anger. - You did not tell the fucking minuteman that you are done with them eh? You did not think for a single second that they might be fucking looking for you?! And that u have a fucking tracking chip in pipboy!  He approached her closer poking her chest with a finger, strong enough to make her lose balance. - You just endangered our whole plan with your stupid impulse thinking! And you know what? You gonna deal with it on your own this time because i will be busy setting up whatever shit i can at gauntlet and all over the Nuka Town to cover our fucking asses from being swarmed by minutemen or whoever was this guy. Good luck Boss. He moved her out of the way like a piece of furniture and stormed off deep into Nuka Town without even waiting to hear her back.

  -Gage wait…eh, shit.  She felt like their relationship resembled a sinusoid, going up and down so often but he was right this time, again…She stood confused thinking about her next move but it was first time she was on her own with a task at hand like that. Gage needed her in different matters but she relied on his advices so long that being now, without him made her feel helpless and unsure. After a moment of pondering it came to her mind that there is still one more person she can trust as much and that won’t judge her foolish actions, Lizzie Wyath.

-----

  Lizzie was spending most of the time in her laboratory, down the stairs under the Parlor where no one would bother her brilliant shy mind. But she was always all ears and mouth when it came to Boss, turning into a chatterbox that seemed to have no end. 

-Boss, what a nice surprise! Came to check in on my latest inventions or…maybe you wanna test some on your own? She approached her excited about the visit holding a vial that was releasing a strong stinky cloud in the air.

- Actually, i was about to ask you out. For a…field trip. You and me. Secret mission. Lucy was waving the hand under her nose to push the smoke away from her nostrils and coughing a bit.

  - Out? No no…you know i hate field missions. I only agreed to come here because Mags promised me my own laboratory and that she will use me only when its reaaaaally necessary. Lizzie turned back to her shelf full of vials but was stopped by the boss grabbing her by the upper arms and turning back at her.

-It is necessary Lizzie. I fucking need you and your brain right now. I fucked up badly and i could really use your help, please? I promise that if u agree i will then sit with you whole evening and test whatever weird ass shit stuff you want. Lucy was desperate shaking her as she started explaining what happened. Lizzie released her arms and raised the palms of her hands towards the boss trying to calm her down.

  -Okay okay cool off, chip, robot, minutemen. I will….help but come on first, lets sit and explain me the plan of ours as i get that chip out of your pipboy.

  Lizzie was the second person that Lucy came clear in terms of trust. She almost didn’t fit to the whole place and raider style but beneath that delicate darker skin and tired eyes the inventions and mental arsenal she could deliver proved very useful and scary at times to the Operators. After all she was also like a family member for Mags and William. The deadly trio since the very teenage times. Her introvertic bobble was poping every time she had a occasion to spend some alone time with boss, filling each other with stories and gossip around the town, bringing back some memories on how it was nice to chatter late night and drink without worrying about the gun pulled to the back of the head.

-Aaaaand there it is, that Sturges seem to know his stuff. Well attached, and it didn’t burn after all that time. Lizzie pulled with tweezers very gently a small square piece of tech out of the pipboy, almost impressed. - So..what do you want to do with it? She asked, putting her tools back at the shelf below.

Lucy took a chip, humming under her nose and spinning it in her fingers. After a short thought process she threw it to the ground and smashed with a heel of her boot. - Well, that! Now grab your stuff and lets go to safari to find that bot before i will join the Gage’s club of having another half the town blame me for some shitty mistakes.

  -Oh boy, right behind you Boss. Lizzie pulled a goggles up and snatched the plasma pistol along with a small bag of tools from the drawer. They headed out in a rush through the back door to avoid Mags and William stopping them to asnwer as to whats going on as Lizzie going out was already a strange evenement.

----

  -Sooooo…..how is he? Hm? Lizzie broke a silence as they were on their way towards the Safari Park, the darkness of the incoming night surrounding them and only flickering lights of a distant buildings being their guide.

-Hm, who? Porter? She looked surprised by a direct question but seeing her relaxed face and corner of her lips raised slightly up she knew its a girl chit chat time. - Well…he’s not the most talkative man on the planet but he definitely recompense it with actions and uhm..looks. 

-Mmmm, what kind of actions? You like that rough bastard don’t ya? Lizzie soft corner smile turned into a grin pushing more personal questions upon her and seeing her blush more and more with each minute and her tongue tangling in words trying to explain that its nothing too serious.

- Oh, dammit Lizzie. I don’t even know if he would like….i mean, he said he cares about me, shit but..maybe in his own way. Fuck i don’t know. Lucy shook her head trying to get rid of the soft emotional thoughts slamming into her and get back on the task.  - We will talk it over once we are done and drunk enough for this crap, okay?

  -Sure thing Boss, lets find that flying can. Where was it last time? Up on a tree eh? Lizzie prepared her plasma gun as they entered the safari. The park belonged to the pack. They passed in silence, through the bushes, passing behind a patrol to avoid any unnecessary attention and discussions. Last thing she wanted is to word to spread out about the whole fuckupery. They managed to pass unnoticed into the labyrinth. On the last turn towards the elevator from behind the corner something or someone big bumped right into them pushing them both on their asses. 

-Boss? Lizzie? Now that is a nice surprise indeed, two lovely birds at the same time. Mason laughed and offered them both of his hands so they can pull themselves up. - So…what these two little birds are looking for around my turf hmm? He brushed and twirled the moustache in his fingers eyeballing them both. 

-Uhg, fuck, fine. We are looking for the eyebot, that was on the treehouse before. We kind of…need it for a special project. Lucy did what she could to sound confident in her half lie but Mason was a hard piece.

-Eyebot eh? U mean…that eyebot? He pulled a pile of scrap from behind and threw it down in front of them, one of pieces landing up on Lizzie’s foot.

  -Ouch, goddamit Mason - she squeaked and pulled her foot away. -Why did u smash it? It was kind of important. For my project. 

-Project ye……it wouldn’t let my boys sleep as it was bipping pretty loud as of late. Also if u excuse me i want to have a private chat with a Boss. Mason shooed Lizzie with a hand and as she disappeared out of view in the labyrinth bushes he turned his eyes to Lucy, with a suspicious glare.  

-So, Boss, what really is going on huh? And where is your golden boy, Porter? He approached her closer, taking a bunch of her hair and letting it slide through his palm. 

-Let’s say that i forgot to…burn some last threads related to some people before i took this job and we are fixing it, separate ways this time tho. There was no point lying to him now as it was also one of few occasions they could talk business alone. She let him play with her hair and simply stood there without moving.

  -Well, that has been taken care of...kind of. You can take whatever is left of that scrap with your lovely operator, to be sure,  but…there is one more matter. He leaned towards her, grabbing her chin and pulling her face up. With Gage around he would probably get punched by this time but they were alone. - The parks seem to be running out and there obviously is too many of us. I can see you go into Mags favor, i can understand it, caps are tops but…what about me hm? How do we stand in your plan Boss? Lucy decided it was the best moment to reveal her future plan to Mason as there wasn’t a chance anyone would eavesdrop on them or see them talking in private. Pure coincidence right on the spot.

- Operators will have three parks, u will keep two…but…i will give you the pleasure of slaughtering and ripping apart the last gang that won’t belong anywhere, the disciples. Mason liked what he just heard and a wide grin grew on his face.

  - I knew you were a smart lady. I swear i could fuck you right here for what u just said. Mason licked his lips but the spiky tip of the knife between his legs gave him a fair warning to back off with his idea. He released her and moved on, chuckling under his nose and sending a wink to Lizzie as he passed her by.

  He seems to have a big....appetite. So…we are okay? Can we go back to my lab now? She approached the boss scanning carefully the pieces of the eyebot, looking for anything unusual and then back at her inpatient.

  -Lizzie, listen. You should know too at this point. I talked a bit with Gage about it but never got to organize any safe meeting. Lucy put the hand on her shoulder and shook it in reassurance. - There will be slaughter, we won’t avoid it. Not now but it will happen eventually. I can feel the tension gathering as we draw closer and closer towards the last park. The disciples will have to go, one way or another. I don’t trust Nisha one bit, hell i don’t even know if i can trust Mason but so far he proved a loyal and more reasonable than i would expect. You i trust Lizzie, okay? Tell Mags about the plan but don’t let it slip before it happens right?

  - Wow Boss, that’s…some freaking good news right there. You have my word, of course. And…you really trust me? Me? In this fucked up world, damn. Does it mean…we are…friends of sort?  Lizzie smiled widely at her as she could not refer to many people out there as friends and barely anyone was visiting her. 

-Yes Lizzie, we are friends now if you want but keep your mouth shut about the plan or i will end up on the spike before i turn around to make any further step. She smiled back as they started gathering the scraps together.

- I will make sure there is no single tracking device left in that junk. Or..i could actually rebuilt it and make some fake signals to discourage the minutemen from taking the actions now. Lizzie was scratching her chin pondering about what she could do with that tech.

-Sounds like a good plan. Lets head back. They packed all the parts into a sack and sneaked away towards the Nuka Town.

------

 It was middle of the night, anything crawling towards them was easily heard and eradicated with a bright splash of green plasma flying from Lizzie pistol. They approached an abandoned farm on their way, loud crunching noises coming from behind the house in the distance that made them both feel a bit uneasy but curiosity was stronger, as they walked closer and closer just to see what’s there. A deathclaw, feasting on the unlucky raider ripping his body parts with its claws. Lizzie froze and dropped by a mistake a sack filled with metal disrupting the silence. Deathclaw raised its head and looked right at them. 

-Great Lizzie, i hope you have good enough condition to run the hell out of here. Lucy was pulling her by the sleeve but to her surprise she stood unshaken and started digging in her bag.  

  -Why run Boss if we have these? And i think you gonna like it, my new invention. She pulled an awkwardly big grenade from her bag almost a size barely fitting into her hand with a long strap attached to it. Dozen of explosives power packed into this one baby….boom. The last word shined a spark in a her eyes. Oh she did love grenades indeed.

- The running part still stays tho, now get it Boss! Lizzie pushed the grenade into her hands and started running as the deathclaw thumped towards them. 

- Shit, you and your damn experiments on a go, ok fuck, lets do it. Lucy was no so far behind giving a good spin with a strap. As they could no longer keep the steady distance from the beast she turned abruptly and forced the grenade out, breaking the lock and letting it fly towards the deathclaw. The structure cracked as it got slashed with a claws, releasing smaller ones out that were tightly packed inside. The explosion was so big that they landed few meters ahead on their faces, getting some small burns in the process.

  -Holy shit, Lizzie. Grenade? Its a fucking nuke. Lucy pulled herself up as she noticed a small fire starting on her dress. She patted it repeatedly blowing air after at her hands to cool them off.  Lizzie was not looking any better, the dirt on her face as she managed to land in the puddle of mud, her hair sticking to a face but she seemed happy of the results. Deathclaw was….everywhere, literally, some of its blood on them aswell.

  - How about a drink Boss, in my lab? To a mission well done? And for our incoming future? I have some special stash waiting to be opened. Lizzie smeared the dirt from her face, smiling proudly at the results of her work.

-Oh yes please…Lucy sighted deeply but smiled softly at the thought that the job is done and future situation has been steered into the direction she wanted. Gage would be probably happy too..and the idea of having a drink, maybe two..or just gulping till the morning was certainly tempting as the stress slowly pumped out of her.

------- Well, on a one side Gage was happy as Lizzie skills managed to dump the remaining signal coming from the eyebot, replacing it with something else. He managed to pull some extra security at the gauntlet on his own and even convinced Mason to let some of his dogs for patrols at Town for any new, suspicious visitors. Lucy did scrape some plan together also informing safely the rest about it and succeeded on a way. What he was not happy is to find both of them at the operator lab, sitting drunk on the floor laughing like a couple of a teenage girls with their hair messed up and clothes too after some serious drinking. 

-Opss, i think…i will leave you with your grumpy man. hm? Porter. Lizzie pulled herself up, swinging to the sides and saluting the Gage as she left upstairs. He saluted her back and turned his eye back to the Lucy.

-Boss, were u drinking your asses the rest of the night? And what did u blow? Nearly whole town heard it, scaring the shit out of traders. He was stoic, with his hands crossed at his chest, awaiting answers. 

- Well…let me start by saying that the plan is now in knowledge of both sides, pack and the operators, without any other ears hearing it. She started to slowly stand up, rolling and putting her clothes back in a proper manner. And… we have the eyebot signal at our advantage now. She was blubbering but not stopping to explain. -Aaaand Mason almost wanted to…fuck me in the bushes aaaand we blew up a deathclaw, literally. Gage eyebrow twitched as he heard the part about Mason. 

-Pardon, fucking what? Mason? Fucking horn ass dick. He whispered and shook his head but decided to leave it without any further comment as nothing actually was established between them other than the plan and some occasional unprofessional incidents. 

-Well, i’m glad we have at least the situation back in goddamn control. You…okay boss or do i have to drag your drunk ass back to Fizztop? The thought of him carrying her in his strong big arms made Lucy dream for a moment but the remaining voice of the reason shook her back up. 

-No…u don’t have to Gage. I will tell Lizzy to get me something to sober me up a bit faster and we can meet at the top, plan onward, together, as we were about last evening. That work for ya, big man? She patted his chest and leaned against the table awaiting him to leave but he didn’t. He just stood and stared at her releasing his arms slowly, letting them fall to the side.

  -Ye…about that last evening. I remember you had something pretty fucking specific on your mind Boss and we got disrupted. Her amber eyes raised up as he approached her, grabbing her by hips and lifting up on the table.

 - And Mason..i don’t know what u think of him but he can shove off his rainbow dick somewhere else for now. Now thats what she liked mostly about him. Putting his actions or words right there when she least expected it with no further discussions and sudden wave of confidence that was leaving her snarky comments aside.

-Ya know what…just shut up and come here before something else ruins that shit we have right now. She pulled him by the belt and moved her legs aside allowing him to be right at her.

Lizzie saw them peeking from behind the corner, seeing the flasks dropping to the floor and breaking as they were caught in a wild kiss on her working station but she decided that ruining this moment was not worth some pieces of glass and the view was pretty good. 

 They were back on the upper line.