#you can limit yourself and experiences like that

[del-thetiredwriter]

Twisted Wonderland/ Otome AU

Warning: not really dark themes? Mentioned. Gn reader. English is not my first language.

Notes: it’s been a really long time since. I was going to post this as soon as finishing translating this but my mid-term exams were came up so I couldn’t post anything. Anyway I hope you like this post. I will post Octavinelle part as soon as I finish the translation.

Summary: : One day, you opened your eyes and found yourself in Twisted Wonderland. And the task the System gave you is to get one of the lead characters love meter to 100% by the end of the main story and reach their happy ending.

Part 1

Leona Kingscholar

Lonely , grumpy savanaclaw's dorm leader, second prince Leona Kingscholar. I can't say that your first official meeting with Leona will be very good, and the same goes for the percentage of your love meter. First of all, good luck, your job is very difficult. However, after the overblot incident, your job will be a little easier.

Leona does not trust anyone due to his nature and experiences. He is sure that you are approaching him for a reason he has difficulty guessing. He will do his best not to get attached to you. After all you will also prefer someone else compared to Leoana , who has always been the other option throughout his life. So please stay by his side when he tells you to get lost, because deep down he loves being with you. I would also like to point out that being by his side will increase your love meter a lot as he runs away from you.

With Leona, it usually happens when he uses you as a pillow and sleeps (sometimes you swear he doesn't sleep). But you try not to talk too much in this activity, because the last time he bit you because you nagged about being late for class and your friends waiting for you while he was taking a nap . Afterwards he threatened to bite you again (not too harshly) and eat you. Although this unexpected event increased Leona's love meter considerably, you understood the warning that day very clearly. Sometimes you two would play chess. And usually, let's say, you are the loser. Leona loves the facial expressions you make when you are trying to figure out his next move or when you are cornered and lose. He also shows the privilege of being a prince in the later stages of your relationship, both materially and emotionally.

Now let's come to Leona in dark mode. Leona is a possessive lover by nature. Although it bothers him when you spend time with others, he respects you, but she can enter dark mode, especially depending on how he learns about your friendship with Malleus Draconia. In fact, Leona is also aware of the existence of the system. Not talking to him about this system stuff or following someone else's route along with his route can again put him in dark mode. Leona in dark mode is quite possessive. He wants everyone to know that you belong to him. He even leaves clues that others can understand without you noticing. Leona is very cunning and intelligent. He knows that brute force is not enough to possess you completely. He acts like a perfect lover in your relationship. He monopolizes you financially and emotionally . He introduces you to his family on holidays. Even if you don't realize it, these meetings are called engagement meetings in the press. Farena is ready to do anything for his only brother.

Ruggie Bucchi

Laid-back yet cunning, Savanaclaw second year student Ruggie Bucchi. Dear player who chose the Ruggie route, first of all, if you want to increase your love meter, I should mention that a portion of your income will go to buying donuts for this hyena boy. Please adjust your income with him in mind. Everything else aside, it won't be that hard to be friends with Ruggie, but it will take a long time for him to fully trust you and increase his love meter. However, once you exceed that limit, your love meter will increase continuously.

Your time with Ruggie is usually spent eating meals together or listening to him complain about Leona. Listening to him, giggling while he complains... oh, you are really too much for Ruggie... Also, watching him in club activities will increase your love meter quite a bit. Now, I may have said at the beginning that a portion of your income will go to this hyena boy, but that doesn't mean he does nothing. Although he doesn't get gifts very often, this hyena boy saves money to buy you gifts on special occasions. Even though he can't spoil you right now, he promises himself that he will spoil you as he wants in the future.

Now let's talk about Ruggie in dark mode...Ruggie knows he's not the best. After all, your environment is full of people who are smarter, more talented, richer, and more handsome than him. What kind of relationship you have with these people doesn't matter to Ruggie in dark mode, what matters is that Ruggie is inadequate to them in many ways and that you might leave him because of his inadequacy. What if you find someone who can spoil you as you want? Someone who can give you the life you deserve...

At first, you don't notice anything, but the "suspicious accidents" that people around you experience make you realize what's going on quickly. Ruggie doesn't use his unique spell on you, meaning he doesn't use it to a certain extent, but this doesn't apply to others. I think you can get help from Leona when you start to suspect him.

If you don't put him in normal mode before it's too late, he won't hesitate to use his unique spell on you. Ruggie's only wish is to live a happy life with you, even if that means he has to make you his puppet...

Jack Howl

Looks tough on the outside but is actually quite caring, first-year Savaclaw student Jack Howl. Your love meter increases little by little after you meet Jack. This wolf boy really respects you a lot. After all, it is really respectable that you, who is non-magical and from another universe, can deal with so many things. Your friendship will progress in a short time with the right steps.

In your free time, you usually do sports together, forced by Jack. If you are not used to sports, I wish you luck. It will be quite difficult to keep up with Jack, but don't worry, there will be short breaks and motivational speeches and cheers from Jack that he thinks are motivating in his own way. This wolf boy does most of what you want, even if he doesn't want to show it. Even if he doesn't like it. Do you want to play with his wolf form? Okay, but only for 5 minutes. Do you want to stroke his tail? Okay, but don't take too long. Do you want to go shopping with him? Okay, but don't expect too much comment from him. Because when he asked you what you thought about the last outfit you tried on, he praised you in his own way and the store employees looked at you strangely. Even though Jack supports and praises you in everything, his praise can be a bit strange. Also, when you cheer for him or compliment him, don't be fooled even if he tells you that it’s unnecessary or that you're wrong. His tail shows how much he likes it. Jack may lie to you but his tail never does.

Jack has always respected your boundaries and still does. Even though his inner wolf side has completely different thoughts, he manages to control himself. However, if that dark wolf side of his loses control… oh boy. He changes from a gentlemanly man to a possessive, jealous, restrictive person. He questions everything you do. Why were you talking to that boy? Who is he? This can also lead to fights. If you can't get him to normal mode without his love meter going too high, it will debatable whether you'll get a very happy ending.

[xechu]

cw: nsfw, fem!reader, 18+ mdni, sexual content

notes: from the same au as my one shot: "Warm on a Cold Night" // check out part 1 HC here & part 2 HC here

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who has an insatiable sex drive, especially when it comes to you. It still boggles his mind that you're the perfect combination of sexy and cute.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - would prefer it if you didn’t use toys (except for butt plugs). Why use it when you have him? That doesn't stop you from owning them though, you like it when he gets a bit riled up.

"What is this useless junk?" He scowled.

"I couldn't wait, Ryo," you admitted.

"Tsk, so impatient. Well then, show me how you played with yourself, and then I'll show you how I can top that," he smirked.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - may not be the most patient man to walk this green earth, but when the two of you are getting down and dirty, he will make sure each time you are coming undone, screaming his name, and clawing his back - no matter how long it took. If the two of you happened to be experimenting that day, he'll make sure that you are enjoying yourself, and if it doesn't work out, then he'll immediately switch back to something he knows will get you cumming.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - loves grabbing your hips and thighs, not just during sex but even outside of the bedroom.

"So, what are we thinking here? Have you decided?" He snuck up behind you and placed his hands around your hips.

"Hm, I'm not so sure, Ryo," you let out a small sigh as you contemplated on which dress to buy for your upcoming vacation to Greece.

"Why not get both then?" He says nonchalantly.

"I don’t know…it’s quite expensive."

"What am I? Chopped liver? I’m paying for them, why should you care?" He was genuinely offended.

Or, when you're at home watching Netflix (usually he goes with whatever you want to watch, he's not much of a TV/shows guy):

"I can't believe it! He actually did it," you turned to Sukuna, as the crime documentary you were watching was coming to an end.

"It's so fucking obvious he did it, I could tell immediately that he's batshit crazy," he rolled his eyes, taking in another swig of beer. His hand was on your thigh, as he mindlessly rubbed circles with his thumb.

"Okay, next one!" You said all giddy, reaching for the remote, but Sukuna stops you.

"Hey, it's my turn to have some fun," he murmurs, as he trails kisses down your neck.

Needless to say, he (and you) had a fair share of fun for the rest of the night.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who would almost always fuck you in the back of his car whenever you came to visit him for lunch. He would tell Jin and the other workers that he's taking you out for lunch, and while he does treat you to a nice lunch (by the way, he loved it when you ate well), you also become his afternoon dessert.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - loves to push you to your limits in the bedroom. The more you say you can't take it anymore, the more it spurs him on.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - has an overstimulation and exhibitionism kink. On one of your travels, he brought you to a fancy hotel with a floor to ceiling window, where he had your naked body pressed against the window while he savagely fucked you from behind.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - isn't super talkative during sex. He would grunt, swear, and praise you once in a while - that's about it.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - usually prefers to top, as someone who has a tendency to dominate and be in control. But if you request to be on top he will gladly oblige. Highkey revels in it when you caught a mood that day and use his dick to blow off some steam.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - given how badly he lusts for you, one would expect that he has some obscene photo of you on his lock screen, but surprisingly it's very tamed. It's a photo of you smiling by the ocean when the two of you visited Paros (Greece). He also has that same picture of you in a photo print, put in a very expensive silver frame, and proudly displayed in his workstation. If you couldn't tell already, that's his favorite photo of you. You were always so goddamn beautiful when you smiled.

"Shit, Ryo - that your girl?" one of his regular customers asked.

"Mhm, that's my woman," he responded casually, but inside he was brimming with pride.

"Does she have any single friends that y'know - kinda has the same vibe as her?"

"Like what you see, huh?" It was more of a challenge than a genuine question.

"Eep."

(Even during your one year separation, he still had the photo on his workstation, and on his lock screen - but he will never tell you that)

ex/boyfriend!sukuna- speaking of pictures, he has this one polaroid picture of you that absolutely brings him to his knees (you secretly slipped it in his back pocket for Valentine's Day). It is carefully tucked between his ID and cards in the window slot of his wallet.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna- said polaroid picture is of you in black lingerie, splayed out on his bed, with crotchless panties and a jeweled butt plug. Needless to say, that night you both had your fill of wild, steamy, debauched sex.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - on the topic of that R rated polaroid, he would get all on edge when someone touches his wallet, but ironically, he couldn't give two shits about his phone (even though there are also some obscene pictures of you two in there too. His FBI can see it for all he cares). That polaroid though, was for his eyes only. He had a nightmare one time where he got pulled over and instead of giving his ID to the cop, he accidentally gave the photo. In the nightmare the cop says to him "Hm, interesting. I'll confiscate this and you can be on your merry way, buddy." He thought he was going to have to go to jail a second time. After that, he begrudgingly put the polaroid in his safe.

ex/boyfriend!sukuna - who noticed the way your eyes slightly darkened when Choso (his apprentice) accidentally mentioned in front of you that he had a frenum piercing. He is now seriously contemplating on getting one himself.

a/n: The polaroid and Choso incident was something that happened after the events of 'Warm on a Cold Night'. Do we all want our big strong Kuna to get the piercing or nah? ;)

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Simple Astrology Observations

People with Leo placements often feel very self-assured. Since Leo is ruled by the Sun, which represents one’s core self, those with Leo placements tend to have a strong sense of identity. You cannot tell a Leo who they are—they are more likely to tell you who you are.

If you have Cancer placements, emotions play a significant role in your life—not just in how you feel, but in the emotional themes that guide your decisions. You need to feel emotionally clear and balanced in whatever you pursue. The energy of a space matters to you, and you seek to create a sense of peace, both for yourself and those around you. Cancer placements are deeply caring, prioritizing emotional security and the well-being of others.

For those with Gemini or Virgo placements, communication is incredibly important. Virgo, ruled by Mercury, values precision in speech, ensuring that their ideas are conveyed clearly and accurately. They take communication seriously, paying close attention to the words they use and how they structure their thoughts. Gemini, also ruled by Mercury, thrives on expression. The worst thing for a Gemini is feeling unheard or unable to share their thoughts. Communication is the outlet through which they process their many ideas, and without it, they can feel restless and unsettled.

Taurus and Libra, both ruled by Venus, prioritize love and connection. Taurus dislikes being single, as love is deeply ingrained in their nature. They seek to nurture and nourish those they care about, especially their closest relationships. Similarly, Libras thrive in love. They value bonds and daily communication with those they cherish. For a Libra, talking regularly with loved ones—whether friends or a romantic partner—is essential to their well-being.

Aries and Scorpio share a strong, feisty energy due to their Mars rulership. People with these placements are more prone to conflict, including physical altercations, even if they aren’t the ones to initiate them. Additionally, Mars’ influence heightens their desire for physical intimacy, making it a central aspect of their personality and emotional well-being. Aries and Scorpio placements often feel a deep need for consistent and passionate physical connection to maintain their spirits.

If you have Sagittarius or Pisces placements, you are driven by an insatiable desire for more—more experiences, knowledge, and growth. These signs do not settle easily, and even when they appear to, their minds are often wandering, imagining new possibilities or planning their next adventure. Stagnation is unsettling for them.

Aquarius and Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, often feel as though they are walking an uphill battle in life. Whether due to strict parenting, restrictive work environments, or self-imposed limitations, they frequently experience a sense of constraint. Aquarius, in particular, craves change and can be unpredictable, making them difficult to keep up with. Their transformations tend to be sudden and unexpected rather than gradual.

For Pisces placements, imagination is everything. Attempting to force a Pisces to be more “realistic” or grounded disrupts their natural flow, making it difficult for them to feel at peace. It is often better to let a Pisces exist in their dreamlike state rather than trying to pull them down to reality. If you do, you may encounter their less pleasant side.

Those with Scorpio placements experience profound transformations throughout life. Who they once were often feels distant from who they become. Their journey involves peeling back layers of buried emotions and illusions until they finally uncover their deepest truth. At some point, every Scorpio placement undergoes a powerful awakening where they recognize and embrace their authentic self.

If you focus on your rising sign, you may find it to be one of the hardest placements to internalize. The rising sign represents how you show up in the world, but it may not feel like an accurate reflection of your true self. For example, if you have an Aries rising but a water sun and moon, you might struggle to keep up with the fiery, bold energy others perceive in you. On the other hand, if your rising sign aligns closely with your sun sign, it will likely feel more natural.

The Midheaven (MC), though often associated with career, represents a broader sense of achievement and purpose. An Aries Midheaven may indicate a life goal of cultivating independence and authenticity, while a Libra Midheaven might strive for harmony, balance, and meaningful relationships. Rather than dictating a specific career path, the Midheaven reflects the aspirations that align with one’s true self.

Pluto is a planet of power, but many people develop an imbalanced perception of it based on how they were raised. Your relationship with your Pluto placement is deeply influenced by your upbringing. However, Pluto ultimately reveals where your power and influence lie in this life, making it one of the greatest tools to harness for your career, relationships, and daily life.

Neptune is the planet of the unseen, and your Neptune placement reveals where you lack clarity. It represents areas of life that feel elusive, confusing, or difficult to grasp. For example, having Neptune in the fifth house may indicate struggles with understanding romance, self-expression, courting, or dating. These aspects of life may feel unclear or difficult to navigate.

Uranus is the planet of progression, and your Uranus placement reveals the areas of life where you feel driven to grow and evolve.

Jupiter is the planet of satiety, representing what you need in life to feel fulfilled, satisfied, and content.

Saturn is the planet of long-term goals, which is why it brings restriction and obligations—these are the challenges we face when pursuing long-term objectives. In this lifetime, Saturn represents what you should aim to achieve.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing your Character's "Inner Critic"

Inner Critic - a mental inner voice that criticizes and judges your actions, thoughts, and behaviors.

In the early 20th century, psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud referred to it as the “superego,” and it’s been a constant source of study ever since.

Learning to address the excesses of your critical inner voice is an important element of self-care and holistic well-being.

Popular psychology movements of today—like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)—assist individuals with reframing their inner critic’s negative thought processes.

Negative Thoughts From Your Inner Critic

Assessing your mental health means knowing when your inner critic is doing nothing but harm. Examples of an inner voice that engages in self-destructive behaviors:

Dwelling on the past: If you regularly beat yourself up for past mistakes and regrets about life experiences, recognize that many of these thoughts are self-defeating. Your inner critic draws on memories like this to keep you incapable of growing in the present moment.

Focusing on shortcomings: Your inner critic might be a perfectionist—holding you to impossibly high standards—or just constantly echo your deepest insecurities. If you think of yourself in the second person a lot—”you’re not good enough,” “you’ll never succeed,” and so on—you might be under the thumb of your inner critic.

Worrying about the future: You might constantly think that you’ll inevitably say or do something to destroy your future prospects. Your inner critic might insist bad things are inevitable and that you should always stay in your comfort zone since you’re bound to mess things up if you color outside the lines. Heeding these judgmental demands will limit your ability to grow and enjoy all life has to offer.

Ways Meditation Helps Counter the Inner Critic

Slowing down and centering your mind can help you combat the critical inner voice in your head. Here are just five ways meditation can help you:

Empowers you with positive affirmations: Through certain types of meditation—like metta or the “lovingkindness practice”—you can use upbuilding and compassionate thoughts and mantras to anchor your sense of self-compassion and combat the worst urges of your inner critic. These affirmations help reorient your mind in a positive direction holistically.

Enables you to recognize impermanence: At the center of meditative practice is a recognition that the present moment is ever fleeting. As soon as you pay attention to one breath, your mind whisks away to some stray thought. The more you do this—always returning to the subject of meditative focus—the more you’ll see your mind divert to your inner critic’s viewpoint. It’ll become obvious as you continue to meditate that it’s just one point of view among many—and you can pay attention to its demands or ignore it just the same.

Encourages you to determine what’s of value: Not all self-criticism is bad. You should discard needlessly negative thoughts, but you can turn the inner critic into one of your best friends if you tame its voice. The equanimity brought on through meditation helps you see when a critical thought can be constructive or when you should ignore it for being untrue and damaging.

Gives you an opportunity to practice compassion: A mindfulness practice allows you to see yourself from the outside looking in—and this experience often brings about a sense of self-compassion. As you meditate, you can see and feel the damage the inner critic is doing to you from an objective standpoint. This can lead you to treat yourself more kindly and, as a result, treat others more kindly, too.

Helps you detach from your ego: Meditation allows you to reorient your sense of self-esteem away from the attachments of your ego. By distancing yourself from your ego (or “I, me, mine” thoughts) in general, you also distance yourself and even silence your inner critic. Although it might sound contradictory, thinking less about yourself, in general, can significantly boost self-confidence overall.

At its best, the inner critic is one voice among many—and you can take it or leave it.

If you can sift through these self-critical thoughts objectively and analytically, you can discover whether they’re valuable or merely detrimental and untrue.

The former can help you improve as a person; the latter will only bring you down.

At its worst, the inner critic can act as an intrusive, overpowering force—wracking you with unnecessary self-doubt and causing insecurity, depression, and anxiety.

Letting your inner critic run roughshod over you like this usually isn’t healthy.

Managing this facet of your inner dialogue can lead to positive personal growth possibilities, but left to its own devices, it can cause an overwhelming amount of negative self-talk and low self-esteem.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[nick-writes-stuff]

Special Delivery

Hwang In-ho x gn!reader

summary: After Dae-ho goes into shock, you decide to take the ammo out to the rebelling players. You witness your closest ally turn on the other players, but after you are injured, he proves his loyalty to you. (~5k words)

!warnings: canon-typical violence, seriously injured reader, mentions of PTSD, swearing, use of y/n

---

As your friends started planning to overpower the guards, you couldn't help but feel nervous. While you believed in the cause, you just had a bad feeling that this wasn't going to go the way they hoped. When the group split apart after Gi-hun's presentation of his plan for the upcoming brawl, you found yourself sitting next to Young-il. You tried to ignore your heart leaping every time your shoulders touched, no matter how fleeting.

“What do you make of all of this?” He asked you.

You sighed with a shrug. “I don't know. I think it's a worthwhile fight, but it won't be an easy one.” You said. You glanced over at him. "And you?" You asked.

He nodded slightly. “I don't know either. We tried so hard to make it through the games, so going out there and risking our lives feels like we're throwing it all away.” He said.

You paused for a moment. “I could give you the lecture of ‘It's for the good of the people’ but that's bullshit.” You said.

He turned and looked at you, surprise evident on his face.

You turned to look at him. You spoke with a serious tone. “You don't have to do this, you know?” He stared at you for a moment. “You can say no.”

He shook his head. “I can't just abandon them like that. That's hardly what a good friend would do”

“You have every right to value your own safety over the good of the people, so deciding not to help doesn't make you a bad person. ” You said softly. “It's your choice.”

He sighed. This conversation was fascinating to him when he considered his position. Would you still say that if you knew who he really was?

After a moment of silence, you looked back over to him. “I won't think of you any differently if you decide not to help stop the games.” You said softly.

His breath caught in his throat as he turned to you. He was suddenly aware of your proximity to him. His eyes landed on your lips, but before anything could happen, he heard the commotion coming out of the hall that led to the bathrooms.

He leaned back a bit before clearing his throat. You felt your cheeks flush, but you didn't say anything. You made your way to where your alliance was typically placed and crawled under the bed.

As this plan continued to unfold, you got increasingly more nervous about how good of an idea this was. You knew that some of them had military experience, but this seemed like an uneven fight. What were a dozen starving, sleep deprived players with limited ammo going to do to take down the small militia carrying out these games?

Before they left, you took a step toward them. “Good luck out there.” You said. Your eyes scanned the group before landing on Young-il. “Come back here safe, alright?” You were both speaking to the group and him specifically. He smiled slightly, giving you a nod before following the rest out.

You stood still there for a moment, but you eventually sat on a bed near Jun-hee. She was really the only one you knew who was still in the room. You've talked to some of the others before, but she was the only one you really felt safe around. You would be screwed if none of them returned. All of your allies were in danger. You'd be left alone.

Even outside of the strategic aspect, you didn't think you would be able to get over their deaths. How could you? Especially Young-il. That first night after Red Light Green Light when neither of you could sleep, it cemented him as your closest friend here.

And you tried to hide it as much as possible, but your feelings for him had grown more than platonic. You knew it was stupid to let yourself catch feelings while in a death game. You mentally scolded yourself every time you felt butterflies in your stomach whenever he laughed at a joke you made. You pretended you didn't feel sparks fly anytime you accidentally touched him. When he grabbed your hand during Mingle, you felt like you could faint.

The only thing that made you hesitate was the fact that he later used that hand to break a man's neck right in front of you.

He knew what was happening despite your attempts to hide it. He found it fascinating, but he couldn't lie and deny that the feeling wasn't mutual. It would be hypocritical to call you naive when he was in the same boat. He had come into the games to watch over Gi-hun and learn more about what makes the man tick, but he found something that intrigued him even more. You.

Maybe it was twisted for him to say, but he was very curious about how you would react when you thought he was dead. And that thought led him to consider finding a way to let you live. But what would you do if you found out he was pulling the strings?

You didn't know what to feel right now. You wanted to be hopeful, but you couldn't quell the feeling that something was going to go wrong. That feeling only grew when you saw Dae-ho rush into the room. He was trembling, fumbling around in the pockets of the deceased guards. You stood up, moving toward him. “Dae-ho, what's going on?” You asked.

He stumbled over his words, hardly getting out a coherent sentence. You thought you heard something about ammunition, and your assumption was confirmed when he shakily grabbed a magazine. You turned back toward Yong-sik and his mother. “Can you guys help gather their magazines?” You asked. Dae-ho stammered out a word of thanks for your help.

The four of you gathered all of the ammo the guards had on their person. It wasn't much at all, definitely less than 20 magazines. It would help a bit, but this seemed like it wasn't going to be enough. Geum-ja had the idea of wrapping them up in his jacket to make a makeshift bag. She said something about having to do that back in the war. You couldn't really focus on her words as Dae-ho ran back to the hall. You took a deep breath before going back to your spot.

You didn't get to stay there that long. He ran back into the room with his hands over his ears. You grimaced, knowing he was probably reliving memories he'd rather forget. But then it hit you that he never delivered the ammo. They needed that ammo desperately.

Despite your better judgment, you got up from your spot, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Geum-ja called out.

You looked back at her. “They need that ammo.” You said. You left the room before you could change your mind.

You saw the radio, but you left it there. You wouldn't know how to work one anyway. You found the ammo where he dropped it. You wrapped it back up and started walking into the unknown.

You quickly noticed the broken security cameras, likely Hyun-ju's doing. You followed them and the sound of the gunshots. It made you nervous that you were running into danger, but you couldn't help but imagine how grateful Young-il would be when you brought it to him. The way the lines around his eyes would crease when he smiled.

You stopped yourself from continuing the thought. Daydreaming would get you killed out here.

You didn't see any guards on the way. You didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign. You did eventually find Hyun-ju and the others. Well, some of them.

She looked shocked to see you. “Y/N? What are you doing? Where's Dae-ho?” She asked. She was glad you got here in one piece but she was somewhat shocked at the poor decision making that led to you coming here unarmed.

“Dae-ho is out of commission. I think he's having a PTSD episode.” You said. From what you had gathered, Dae-ho's time in the Marines wasn't exactly a good one. She gave you a knowing look. You set out the magazines on the floor. One of the men came to start distributing the ammo. They got 2 clips each, if that.

You looked around at the people she had left. “Where's everyone else?” You asked. Your heart dropped to your stomach, but you were somewhat relieved by her words.

“456 and 390 ran up ahead a while ago to try to find a control room. They got pinned out there. Young-il and two others went to try to help them.” She said. You tried to hide your instinctive wince upon hearing that. Did he really have to go out and play the hero?

“Do they still need ammo?” You asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, I can run it out to them.” She said.

“Maybe you should stay here. You guys are the last line of defense to the others.” You offered.

She chuckled lightly, but she was definitely confused. “And what are you suggesting?” She asked.

You shrugged. “I could take it.”

She shook her head. “Hell no. That would be a suicide mission, especially without a gun.”

“Who said I wouldn't take a gun?” You countered. Unfortunately, there were a few downed allies among them. Their guns lay next to them without their magazines.

You really didn't want to take the gun.

“Have you ever held a gun before?”

You shook your head. “I could still take one. How hard could it be?”

She looked very annoyed by your statement. She knew there would be no use arguing with you. “I'm not giving you a gun, but if you want to run in there blind and unarmed, I'm not gonna stop you. I'll at least make sure you have some cover.” She leaned down and pulled a few magazines for herself before gesturing to you to take the rest. As you scooped up the rest of the ammo, she yelled “Covering Fire!”

You dashed your way across the balcony they were shooting from. You eventually made it into a set of hallways in a different design scheme than the stairs. You hoped that was a sign that you were on the right track.

And you were on the right track. You could tell because they had made a trail of dead guards, bloody footprints, and broken security cameras.

You were surprised that there weren't more guards out and about. They seemed innumerable every other time you saw them. During Mingle, there had to be 100 guards at least helping to carry out the game. It made you a bit suspicious, but you didn't have much time to think about that.

The sounds of gunfire got louder and louder until you saw movement down a corridor. You stopped to peek out from the corner. You were greeted with teal jumpsuits. Jung-bae and Gi-hun.

You moved close to them. “Hey, don't shoot me.” You called out. Gi-hun jumped and turned toward you. His gun was pointed at you for a moment before he realized it was you.

“Jesus, Y/N, you scared the shit out of me.” He said, exasperated from shock.

Your name got Jung-bae’s attention. “Y/N? What are you doing here? Where's Dae-ho?” He asked.

You hesitated for a moment. Would Dae-ho want you to tell him? Would he be okay with showing that vulnerability, or would he want you to hide that and maintain his ex-marine facade? You decided to tell the truth. It was easier to explain than making up a lie. “I think he's having a PTSD episode. He couldn't come back out here.” You said.

Jung-bae gave a knowing look, just nodding. You hoped that meant he understood.

“But why did you come here unarmed? That's too risky.” Gi-hun asked.

You chuckled. “Hyun-ju wouldn't give me a gun. She was going to run it over to you, but they… took some casualties.” You said, trailing a bit on the last few words. “Where's Young-il?” You asked, raising your voice to be heard over the gunfire. You started to pull out two magazines for Gi-hun from the bundle, handing it to him as he answered you.

“You just missed him. He and two others ran ahead to find a way to ambush them.” He said.

You grabbed two more clips from the bundle for Jung-bae. “Cover me?” You requested. He leaned over and began shooting at the guards. You dashed through the gap, dropping the clips near the man before trying to find where the trio went.

It was fairly easy to guess where they went, seeing as they were only trying to get around the guards. There seemed to be only one way to do that. Everything went quiet for a moment. That made you even more cautious, checking around each corner before you continued. Eventually, you saw who you were looking for. Another figure in a teal jumpsuit with no guards around.

You realized you were smiling. You were happy that he was okay and that you would be able to help him after all and-

A series of gunshots rang through the hall. Your smile dropped. You felt your blood run cold.

If the guards fired… why was Young-il still standing still? As he took a step forward, you slowly crept toward him, praying that he didn't hear you.

“It's over, Gi-hun. I'm sorry.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. You peeked slightly around the corner.

That image would forever be burned in your mind. Young-il was very much alive. He was low to the ground, holding out the radio to the player as he took his last breath. Then fired one more shot into the man's head. He turned a dial on the radio with certainty.

You heard him clearly. You were sure of it.

“Let's wrap this up.”

You started to back up, but you stopped when he turned. Your escape was interrupted by his voice.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked. He turned toward you and, in turn, pointed the gun at you without thinking about it.

You froze, instinctively dropping the magazines. You held up your now trembling hands.

He looked at you confused, almost hurt that you thought he would shoot you. Then he realized he was still holding the gun. “Oh shit. No, no, I'm not going to shoot you.” He said, slinging the gun's strap around his shoulder.

“What the hell just happened?” You asked, mostly just confused but also a little nervous.

He sighed. “I know, I have a lot to explain but we can't stay here, okay? Follow me.” He said.

This confused you further. After what you just witnessed, you weren't going anywhere without a bit of explanation. “Where are we going?”

Before he could respond, you heard a pair of footsteps coming from behind you.

Two armed soldiers were coming up the hall. You raised your hands again. One aimed at you. The second lagged behind the other and tried to stop him, reaching for his shoulder and shouting “No, don't!” But he didn't react fast enough, and the soldier put a round in your gut before realizing who he was aiming at.

You screamed, hands shakily touching the wound. Your hand came back bloody. You stumbled slightly, but Young-il caught you, helping you down to the floor.

The voices around you were coming in and out of your awareness. You could see that Young-il was saying something to you, but you only saw his lips moving.

In-ho looked you over. “No, no,no. This wasn't supposed to happen, I'm-” His gaze then darted up to the soldiers.

He glared at the one who shot you. His tone was cold but you could hear the intense anger behind it. “I believe I made the instructions very clear. Player 134 was to be unharmed. Also, your aim could use some work.” He said before aiming his gun at his head and firing.

At the noise of the gunshot, you cried out, thinking someone was going to come finish the job. He looked back down at you with concern. “Hey, hey, it's okay.” He murmured softly.

He gently peeled the shirt from your wound. You whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut. “Sorry.” He said. The wound looked to be away from any vital organs, mostly a flesh wound. “You're gonna be fine. I'm going to get someone to help you, okay? You'll be okay.” He rambled, both reassuring you and convincing himself.

He stood up and addressed the soldier who was still living. “Get them to the doctors. If they die, so do you.” He ordered before storming off toward the management room. Honestly, he was going to kill him anyway since he saw his face.

Unfortunately, he still had a part to play in this special game. He entered the control room, going into the restroom that had been deemed the dressing room for the special game. He needed to get dressed into the Front Man ensemble, but first, he tried to scrub your blood from his hands. His hands were trembling, and his breathing was fast. He felt like he could still see the red staining his hands no matter how long he washed them. If you died, he would probably see it for the rest of his life.

Your memory of the next several hours were flashes of hot pink and black and too much blood. You were taken to an area of the compound that was clearly not meant for players to see. It was very industrial compared to the surreal colorful halls meant for the players.

You were eventually lying on a table with someone who appeared to be a doctor standing over you. You heard someone stressing that you were supposed to be kept alive and with your organs. You would have laughed if you weren't in immense amounts of pain. Eventually, you blacked out.

-

You came to on a leather couch in a room you didn't recognize. You felt the dull ache radiating from your side. It took all your willpower to lift the fabric off your stomach. The wound was bandaged up, which was a good sign. They wouldn't have taken the time to dress your wound if they were going to kill you.

Before you could even think about getting up, you heard a door open. You stayed still, not being able to see who it was. You could hear the faint sound of a dial tone, and you heard a voice.

“Front Man speaking:” He started speaking. The voice was coming through a voice filter, but you knew who it was. It was him.

“I believe I made myself clear during our discussion, but apparently, I was mistaken.” You heard him say.

He paused for a moment, presumably listening to the person on the other end of the line.

“I gave them an order which they disobeyed, and we both know what happens to people who disobey orders.” He said.

Despite your better judgment, you decided to attempt to stand up. You slowly sat up, holding your breath and wincing from the pain. You didn't make a sound even though it was intense. From there, you stood up with fewer difficulties. You took a few steps toward him until he started speaking again.

“The player is fine, luckily.”

He was talking about you presumably. And whatever the person on the phone said pissed him off even more.

“It doesn't matter what you think about the orders. You are expected to follow them. I don't care if you think my feelings are clouding my judgment. That's not for you to decide. Now you can either stop your train of thought here or we can discuss your future here in this operation.”

You opened your mouth in surprise. His feelings? What feelings? You were shocked and excited at the prospect that your feelings may be mutual.

“Continue the protocol as usual. The next vote will take place at 0600 tomorrow morning. I'll see you then.” He said shortly before putting down the receiver. He turned around and froze when he saw you.

He stood there for a moment, expecting you to say something, but you just stood there silently. He was confused for a moment until he remembered you were seeing the polygonal facade. He pulled off his hood and the mask, tossing the latter to the floor without a care.

You had already known it was him. That was an easy assumption to make. But seeing the concerned look flash across his face as well as the realization that you had been listening made the butterflies return to your stomach.

“Hey.” You said softly.

He smiled. He closed the distance between you and pulled you into the gentlest hug you had ever had. This hug had been meticulously planned in his mind, just like every other action he takes. He thought out the placement of his hands, the tightness of his embrace, everything.

You melted into his arms, taking in a deep breath and leaning into him.

On the other hand, he was tense, like he was carrying a heavy weight. Which he was. He was carrying the weight of his fear that you would hate him for every decision he has made.

“Thank you.” You murmured.

“How are you feeling?” He asked you.

“Like I got shot.” You said. He could hear the smirk in your voice. You laughed a bit at your own joke, but he just let out a deep sigh. At this, you pulled away to look at him.

He looked anxious, an emotion you never saw in him. Even in the most dangerous situation, he managed to keep a cool and level head. It's something you admired in him, so seeing him so worried about something was concerning. But you need clarification.

“Young-il, what's going-” You began, but he cut you off.

“In-ho.” He said.

“Hm?” You hummed in confusion, eyebrows knitted together.

“My name is In-ho.” He said.

You didn't have much of a reaction to that statement. “In-ho, what's going on?” You repeated. He was taken aback by how nonchalant you were about this whole thing. He just admitted that he'd been lying to you and hiding his identity, but you didn't seem to care.

“You're all stitched up. The doctors made sure of it.” He said

“I mean with what happened before that.” You said. Your voice was a strange mix of stern and soft. You were trying to be gentle, but you wanted answers.

He sighed. He felt his heart drop as he began to speak. “I'm the one who organizes the games.” He admitted. You didn't seem shocked because that felt very obvious to you. “I went into the games to watch Gi-hun and make sure he couldn't succeed with his attempt of a takeover.” He said.

You nodded. “What happened to them?” You asked.

He didn't look at you. “Jung-bae is dead. The higher-ups have plans for Gi-hun.” He said.

That did surprise you. From how Gi-hun explained it, you had assumed the man in the polygonal mask was the man in charge, but apparently, he wasn't as pivotal as previously thought.

“Did you really tell them not to hurt me?” You asked quietly.

His gaze landed on you quickly. “Of course I did.” He said, matter-of-factly. He felt that was obvious. He cared about you more than he could wrap his head around. “I didn't want you to die in here. If you hadn't come out with the ammo, I was going to arrange a way to get you out safely.” He said.

Your eyes widened with surprise. “Oh.” You murmured. You paused for a moment before speaking. “You know, I only came out with the ammo because of you.”

“I'm still not sure what happened there. Why were you the one bringing the ammo?” He asked.

You sighed. “Dae-ho came back and tried to gather the ammo. I think he went into shock. He wouldn't leave, so I brought it out. I didn’t think that would end well if you all ran out of ammo.”

He nodded. “By the way, what were you thinking? You went without a gun?” He asked, playfully scolding you for the poor decision.

You scoffed. “Hyun-ju wouldn't give me one.” You insisted.

“I don't blame her.” He said with a smirk.

You crossed your arms, sending him a lighthearted glare. “You know, next time I'll leave you to rot.” You said, even though you knew that wasn't actually a possibility in this scenario.

He laughed. “How about there's no next time?” He offered.

You smiled at him. After a moment of quiet, you asked the question that part of you was dreading. “So what happens now?” You were afraid he would send you home. Would you ever see him again? He wouldn't kill you… right?

He seemed to have been dreading that quite as well. “I could arrange a ride to the mainland if you would like.” He said softly, trying to gauge your reaction to the statement. “But if you don't hate my guts and think I'm an irredeemable person, you're welcome to stay here if you like.” He offered. He sounded defeated almost, like he already felt like you hated him.

You had to hate him, right? Everyone always does. He put you through all of this. The bloodshed, the danger, the trauma, it was all his doing.

Maybe others would despise him. But not you.

“I told you already, ‘I won't think of you any differently if you decide not to stop the games.’ Remember that?” You asked. “Nothing's changed.”

He shook his head adamantly. “But I put you through all of this. You got shot for goodness sake.” He raised his voice somewhat at the end, clearly getting more emotional. He couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was, but you knew it was just anxiety.

You reached out and touched his shoulder, hoping it would catch his attention and get him to look at you. “You saved my life. Without you, I'd be in a black box.”

“But I-” He said shakily.

“The blame isn't as black and white as you think it is.” You cut him off. You took a deep breath, shoulders shaking slightly. “Plus, outside of here, it probably would have been worse for me.” You said. You hadn't talked about it much, but it wouldn't have been much longer until your debts would have caused some serious dangers to you.

He still wouldn't look at you, so after a few seconds of silence, you continued speaking. “At least here I met you.”

His breath hitched at your words. He finally looked at you, and you could have sworn his eyes looked somewhat misty. You pulled him into a hug.

He quickly reciprocated the hug, no longer as tense as the first, but he was still cognizant of your injury. He tried his best not to shed a tear. He was just so happy. After years of being alone, he finally found someone who wouldn't shut him out just because of his position in the games.

More than that, he finally found someone who he didn't have to push away because he was afraid of them turning on him once they learned of his work.

Cutting ties with his brother was the hardest thing he'd had to do in his life. After the confrontation with Jun-ho, he thought he would have to resign himself to a life of isolation and live with the fact no one would see him as anything more than a ruthless leader ruling with an iron fist and a penchant for murder.

You didn't take much care to the moral dilemma he created. Playing the games firsthand and seeing so many of your friends die really changed you. This same thing would have happened out there. Maybe this wasn't the best solution to this societal issue, but you sure as hell didn't have a different one that would actually work.

Regardless, you really cared about In-ho. You had grown to trust him the most, not only in the games but probably of everyone in your life. You didn't care that he had been hiding his identity or that he was running the death game that could have killed you. He cared about you. He went out of his way to keep you safe. Hell, he was willing to break the strict rules of the games just to save you.

And he'd do it again in a heartbeat. If his work somehow put you in danger, he would do anything for you. He'd burn it all down if he must. You were the first person who had managed to break through the walls that he had put up.

You pulled away from the hug, still standing close to him. When you looked up, he could see a slight mischievous glint in your eye, but he missed your eyes taking a glance at his lips for a fraction of a second.

“You know, after almost dying, I'm going to do something I would have regretted not doing if I had died.” You said. Before he could ask, you grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips against his.

He was surprised for a second, but he quickly began to kiss you back. You smiled slightly against his lips.

This should be something that felt foreign to him. He hadn't kissed anyone since his wife passed. It should remind him of her, but this was an entirely new feeling for him. Kissing you just felt so right.

You felt the same way. He kissed just like you thought he would. Everything felt methodical and planned, but there was also some underlying force underneath it all. It was exhilarating.

When you pulled away, you both were breathless. He chuckled lightly. “You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that.” He said softly. You nodded in return.

There was still more you had to talk about. You wanted more information about how he got involved in the games in the first place. You wanted to know what happened to Gi-hun. You wanted answers, but you allowed yourself to enjoy the moment a little longer.

But maybe this was a decision that would doom several thousand people's lives. You could be dooming Gi-hun by not taking the initiative to get information. Maybe you could save him or even stop the games entirely.

Or maybe you'd be performing a suicide mission. It would ruin the strongest connection you have forged. You could be kicked out of this place and back onto the streets. You would be at the mercy of the loan sharks waiting to take out their prey. Maybe the soldiers would kill you on the spot for trying anything. Maybe In-ho would have to kill you. You'd become another face that would haunt him whenever he dared to close his eyes.

Perhaps it was selfish, but you didn't care.

[atimeofyourlife]

Caring for you is my love language

@bucktommyfluffebruary day 1: nonsexual intimacy | rated: g | wc: 711 | ao3 Buck takes care of Tommy after Maddie and Chimney's wedding

Getting Tommy home and taken care of was the priority. They'd had about an hour to celebrate Maddie and Chimney before the nurses came around to kick everyone out, and Buck could feel just how exhausted Tommy was. The fact he even showed up after being on the line battling a fire like that, it meant a lot to him. Now he wanted to just look after Tommy.

Getting him down and into the jeep was easy, his turnouts double bagged in garbage bags Buck had charmed the nurses into giving them. Just so the smell wouldn't get everywhere before Tommy was able to get them back to Harbor for cleaning.

Tommy did try to put up something of a fight when he realized that Buck had brought him back to the loft, rather than making the drive across town to his place, but Buck quickly shut it down.

"You could just drop me home." Tommy said through a yawn as Buck pulled into his parking spot.

"I could have. But we're here now. You can get cleaned up and be asleep much sooner than if we had to drive across town." Buck replied.

"I-. I could wait. You don't need to take care of me."

"I don't need to. But I want to." Buck countered. "And at least if you stay with me, I don't have to worry about you braining yourself in the shower."

"Okay." Tommy agreed, allowing Buck to help him out of the jeep and into the building.

Buck managed to convince Tommy to eat a portion of the soup he kept frozen for when he felt under the weather, or when he'd had a long shift and didn't feel like cooking. It was quick to heat in the microwave, and Buck lightly warmed some bread to go along with it. It was wasn't the best meal he could make, but it was the quickest along with being filling.

Then it was into the shower. Buck shot upstairs to grab some changes of clothes, both shorts and sweatpants, unsure what Tommy would prefer to wear to bed. He hesitated over underwear, unsure what the rules were over sharing underwear when you were dating a man. He'd shared clothes with Eddie a number of times, but underwear was always off limits, they were close friends, but not that close. And he had experience with some of his girlfriends, especially Taylor, stealing his boxers for something comfortable to sleep in. He decided to grab some, leaving it up to Tommy if he wanted to wear them. He came back down to find Tommy dozing at the table.

"Come on, shower time, then bed." Buck gently shook Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy just grumbled in response, burying his head deeper into his arms.

"Hey, your neck and back will hate you in the morning if I let you sleep like that" Buck helped Tommy up and across to the downstairs bathroom. He still couldn't understand why a lofted studio needed two bathrooms, but this was just one of many times he was thankful for it. And he was doubly thankful for the built in bench in the downstairs shower.

He helped Tommy out of his clothes, and pushed him to sit down on the bench, starting the shower on hot, then making quick work of his own clothes. He joined Tommy in the shower, washcloth in hand, and dropped to his knees.

"Baby, I'm too exhausted." Tommy mumbled, looking down at Buck with his eyes almost closed.

Buck huffed a laugh. "Just let me take care of you." He made quick work of washing Tommy, methodically moving up from his feet. By the time he reached Tommy's hair, the other main was slumped against the tile, snoring softly. Buck smiled at the sight, this feeling like one of the most intimate moments he'd ever had with any of his partners, he pressed a kiss to Tommy's forehead, before scrubbing himself down in almost record time.

He hated having to wake Tommy again, but knew from experience nothing good would come from falling asleep in the shower. He helped Tommy get dried and dressed, before taking him upstairs to bed. Settling down next to Tommy, he couldn't help hoping this could be forever.

[is-this-fascism]

i found this on a joke post about first aid, but it's hard to tell how serious this person is being so i feel the need to clarify and maybe help some people learn some basic first aid. this is going to be for small, superficial cuts to the skin.

healthcare isn't free, but gauze and superglue are cheap

in today's political climate, who knows when you're going to have to rely on yourself. plus, as an American, i'm only $3000 in medical debt, all from avoiding hospitals after learning to treat myself, so you can trust me. (i am not a trained medical professional and am speaking from personal experience and research)

i'm going to start by saying you should approach personal first aid with an understanding that at any moment, you might have to accept that you can't treat this on your own and you will need to go to a hospital. just make sure it's always an open possibility in your mind. it's not a quitter's attitude, but actually an incredibly smart attitude. it's much more dangerous to push yourself past your limits over spite or stubborness or fear of debt or judgement. i'm especially talking to those of you who might have some kind of shame about self-inflicted injury.

it can be very healing and nice to tend to your own wounds, but ALWAYS be prepared to need help, and be prepared to make the decision quickly by knowing exactly what consititutes a medical emergency that is out of your scope. i talk about a couple of those scenarios in this post.

cleaning and medicating:

so first of all, for the love of GOD do NOT LICK YOUR WOUNDS. there's some factoid out there about spit having 'healing compounds' but you know what else spit has? LOTS OF BACTERIA. people get nasty tooth infections for a reason.

you don't need soap either. nor do you need iodine or hydrogen peroxide. if your wound is dirty enough that it needs soap, you should just go to the ER. soap will not stop a deep, rusty wound from giving you lockjaw.

you SHOULD rinse your wound with clean, lukewarm water. no pressure-washing, okay? just a gentle rinse. you can use soap to clean the area surrounding the wound, but don't put soap IN your wound. after rinsing, dab (don't rub) the wound dry.

a topical anti-bacterial (not anti-septic) cream or gel will do the heavy lifting in preventing infection. use a q-tip or clean fingertip to apply enough to completely cover the wound in a thin layer, then wrap it up.

wrapping:

band-aids are kind of a scam, yeah. they're okay on fingers. gauze is NOT a scam, though. the worst thing gauze can do is keep your wound too moist, but that's why it's reccomended to change the wrapping regularly. i prefer wrap gauze over pad gauze and bandaids. it's a bit excessive and makes me look like i just came out of the operating room over a papercut, but it's secure. if the gauze keeps falling off, replace it and wrap it better next time. sorry, that's just a skill issue. our limbs are mostly round and easy to wrap. anywhere you get gauze, you can also get gauze tape, which does what you think it does.

gauze holds the wound closed, keeps any medicine you applied in contact with the wound, and keeps dust and debris from the outside world away from the wound. use 2-3 layers of gauze directly applied to a clean wound and wrapped around the limb. just change it at least once a day. while you're changing the gauze, rinse the wound again and re-apply any topical anti-bacterial medicine. depending on the severity of the wound, you should only have to do this for a 3-5ish days. if there are signs of infection, it's a good idea to keep applying the medication every day even after you stop wrapping.

stopping bleeding:

the other main thing gauze does is stop bleeding. if the wound is deep or in a highly vascularized area, and the bleeding won't stop on its own, applying pressure with clean gauze will help. if it doesn't stop bleeding after a full five minutes of pressure, you're going to need to close the wound.

IF THIS IS SEVERE, I.E. IT IS GUSHING, THERE'S A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF BLOOD COMING OUT, IT'S SOAKING THROUGH MULTIPLE LAYERS OF GAUZE, YOU'RE GETTING WOOZY AND LIGHTHEADED, ETC. GET EMERGENCY HELP IMMEDIATELY.

deep tissue damage:

if it's just trickling some blood but it won't stop, it's likely not dangerous, only annoying. depending on the location, it's a good idea to assess if there could be any deep tissue damage, like a tendon, muscle, bone, nerves, or large vein. typically you'll be able to tell pretty quickly due to pain and loss of function. if you cut a tendon, for example, you'll lose mobility down the anatomical line. if you cut a nerve, there will be an electric burning sensation or numbness and loss of mobility. most of these structures move out of the way of a piercing cut, but a slicing cut can easily sever things. research what the signs of various types of deep tissue damage are so you can be prepared to report it to a medical team, because you're going to need to go the ER for that one too.

closing a wound:

if there's no deep tissue damage and you feel you can close this wound on your own, the first thing to try is binding. clean the wound, apply medicine if needed (might be difficult with trickling blood but just do your best), and just wrap the thing up with gauze. wrap it tight, not so tight that you lose circulation, but enough to stabilize the edges of the wound so they don't slip or seperate. this won't work if the wound is in a highly mobile area like near a joint, or in an area with tight skin that pulls away from itself, like over the shin bone.

the second option is superglue. this works best with short cuts, no longer than half an inch. it's a good idea to have medical grade superglue in your first aid kit, because it's formulated to be totally safe, but regular hardware superglue is essentially the same thing and will perform the same function, and a drop of it to close up a skin wound isn't going to hurt you. just don't drip it into your eyes, mouth, other holes and orifices, or directly into any open wounds. yes, i knew this for years before the veritasium video about it.

to use superglue to close a wound, first clean the wound and apply whatever medicine. if you can, a light tourniquet to slow down the bleeding might make it easier. i've used hairties on my fingers and shoelaces on my forearm. just don't make it tight. you just want to slow the bleeding enough to keep the wound clear for a couple seconds. the thing is, superglue will cure FASTER when it's in contact with blood (or water), and youre going to want a bit of working time.

position your joints so the skin around the wound is loose. apply a drop of superglue to the outside edge of one side of the wound. NOT inside the wound but as close to the edge as you can get it. it's honestly fine if a little bit gets into the wound. place a finger and thumb on either side of the wound, not touching the glue, and then just pinch it closed. hold it until it cures. clean the wound again with just water and check if the bleeding is contained. if you did it right, there shouldn't be any blood seeping out around the edges of the glue. if there is, it should stop pretty quickly. if it doesn't, apply another drop without pinching and let it cure on top of the wound.

third option for closing your wound is to learn how to suture. if you can sew, you have a leg up here. you don't need a medical degree to suture your own wounds, although if you do a bad job and go to the ER to get it redone, they might laugh or scold you. so this isn't difficult, nessecarily, but it's pretty advanced and it will take prior research and practice before anyone should be confident poking threads through their skin. i've never done this, i just stick to glue and gauze and those have worked fantastically for even really bad and bleedy cuts i've had.

go forth and deny, defend, depose. while you're at it, learn to grow veggies too

[niesdesire]

Hot take, don’t get upset at me !!

The things you script honestly can reflect on who you are as a person, shifting is like manifesting when you affirm and write in a “I am” form you are manifesting that certain reality, the same way reality shifting can be seen as fantasizing. Cause you’re so obsessed with being there and being this certain thing and it can reflect on how you view yourself and the things around you.

Some of you don’t fully grasp realism in reality shifting and that’s fine, we all don’t fully grasp it until we experience actually shifting no matter how much you look into it, it’s in all a personal journey. So when I see people hate on shiftok for setting boundaries for themselves when it comes to things revolving race changing or drs that are murderous it doesn’t make sense to me.

At the end of the day shifting is like a lesson you learn on your own, when people “limit beliefs” it’s not them setting boundaries for themselves, it would be them not believing in shifting in itself. It’s okay to set a boundary when it comes to reality shifting, when you reality shift your subconscious becomes more aware of things due to shifting, shifting for some, like me, do believe shifting makes you think on your choices when it comes to shifting. Shifting is a big lesson that can be learned in a good way or a bad way depending on how you take it.

In conclusion, I don’t see the harm in people having a morality when it comes to shifting. Reality shifting can affect you in ways of mental health if you aren’t careful at times.

End of my hot take!! Pls don’t take this as me telling you what to do, it’s just a thought piece and if you were gonna shift to somewhere or do something in your dr you where gonna do it anyways and that’s fine, you just can’t be upset if a person clocks you for it when you know it’s wrong here to some. Some of you say you’re open minded but loose your mind when people don’t think or like what you do it’s a very normal thing for people to do the same way people don’t believe in reality shifting you shouldn’t force them to believe

[plushiebi]

SJS: I finally volunteered at my college's soup kitchen! I was feeling really crummy and depressed in the morning, scrolling through Tumblr when a deep voice from within me screamed, "DO SOMETHING", so I got up and I ran to the kitchen to help them prepare meals after so many weeks of wanting to but not going. It was an exhausting but extremely rewarding experience, and the people there are so lovely.

To anyone who's like me and wants to volunteer but is hesitant for so many reasons: Do it anyway! It can be hard to start and find an organization near you, but it is worth looking and starting. Start small! Any help is welcome. Something as seemingly minor as doing the dishes or documenting meeting notes is already a huge help. Also, know your limits. Take care of yourself, and don't push yourself to volunteer for long hours or difficult tasks if you can't. 30 minutes of volunteering is better than 4 hours which hurt you. You can't help others if you need help yourself, so help yourself first.

And it may feel pointless. It may feel like the world is so cruel that any good is outweighed by its evil. You may feel like you're going it for the wrong reason or you're volunteering in the wrong way. It doesn't matter. Go do it anyway. Someone's life is going to be changed by your help, and that is enough.

this is very good advice 🫶🏾🫶🏾

[hollow-point-killjoy]

The fact that you want to quit makes it more likely that you can succeed. If you ever do slip back into taking more sun time, try not to hate yourself for it. It happens sometimes.

(He’s not speaking from personal experience, but he’s been told a lot about it from his friend. He also knows about addiction recovery from a medical point of view, though his memory of that is limited)

(Cosmic approaches the range, feeling burnt and tired and dehydrated. It looks around before cautiously knocking on the door, arm still hurting)

@c0smic-c0de

(Hollow takes a little while to get to the door and open it. His eyepatch is a little crooked, and he’s left his cane by the reception desk)

Hello… you look like you could use some help.

[kitteecassee]

i’m allowed to go to the same places frequently for dates, i’m also allowed to casually date around/meet new people because i am single and am not looking for any sort of romantic relationship. i just wanna have fun, i’m allowed to have fun-

we all are.

i’ll be damned if i allow someone to try and paint me as the bad guy when i’m living my life freely and no longer being trapped inside a torture box of my own creation.

i treat everyone with nothing but the utmost kindness and you most certainly won’t change that about me.

are you staying in a small town? want to go on dates and feel safe? FREQUENT places, don’t be afraid or shy. in case something happens, there will be multiple witnesses and people you’ve seen that can not only vouch for where you are but who you’re with especially because they’ll probably remember you, your mannerisms especially if you look like you’re having a bad time/are in trouble.

embrace comfort and safety, don’t think you’ve gotta bust your brain trying to come up with complicated date ideas when the classics are always perfectly fine and you weren’t looking for anything serious anyway.

just companionship and a great night.

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

[thedandelionresistance]

We're a lot more active in fandom, and will say... erasure in fandom tends to be more about overall trends than individuals, in our experience.

It's not like there's never examples of "hey this person may be explicitly Unchill about this identity, based on the decisions they've made on how to write this character who is canonically or fanonically this identity.

But... there's a difference between, say, an aroace author taking a canonically aroace character and just,,, writing them partnering because they're a partnering aroace person, and allo people just not wanting to bother with a canon aroace character being aroace.

I even think that this goes for, say, changing the canon partnering status for your fic, because we have so little rep and quite frankly, no one ever seems to get as mad about the even fewer canon partnering aroace characters we have being made nonpartnering in fics as they do about the very few canon nonpartnering aroaces being made partnering (almost like the people loudly complaining about this thinks partnering makes you less aroace and are just aphobic).

With gender, this is even more true. Genderswaps have been a central part of fandom since fandom became a thing recognizable as such. Sure, it can be helpful to ask yourself why you're choosing to change even a canon identity, let alone running with your own headcanon that contradicts popular fanon, but even if you decided to explore a canon trans person being cisgender in any direction... that's what fanworks are for. Exploring, pushing the boundaries, trying things out.

You're not hurting anyone by playing with metaphorical paper dolls differently than the people around you. They're not even a limited resource - you can rip them up into pieces and turn them into horrific collage-monster parodies of their original identities, so to speak. You can make them kiss or bonk... other things 🫣 (/silly). You can pick them up, line them in a row, and set them back down, metaphorically.

Before I realized I was genderfluid, I used to write a canon they/them user as using different pronouns in different timelines, bc they were essentially different iterations of what was me projecting my own genderfluidity onto them in the only way I felt safe and comfortable doing so. I've been accused of misgendering the introjects/soulbonds of those characters who were my headmates, because they are canon-deviant. Which, by the way - canon deviance and defiance is a huge part of fandom. People can get weird about it with marginalized identities because fandom can be shitty about marginalized identities, sure, but... not every case is people being shitty.

It's good to check in on your motives every now and then, and listen to the critiques people make of larger trends towards characters with marginalized identities. But at the end of the day, trust yourself too, and have fun playing around with your metaphorical dolls and playsets ^^

okay i’ve been wondering about this for a while. i’ve seen a lot of fandom discourse that headcanoning a character who’s commonly accepted as transfem in fandom as a genderweird trans in all directions nb person is transfem erasure. is this true? i haven’t really thought so‚ but i might just be biased as a nb transmasc myself. (common examples include john egbert)

hello there, thanks for stopping by!

i am definitely the wrong person to ask about this, i am very sorry. i do not participate in fandom at all, i don't engage with much fiction and when i do, i don't get into it that much. my brain doesn't really latch on to fiction like it did when i was a kid. i still play games and watch anime here and there but i don't interact with fandoms, so i apologize for that. i find them to be genuinely uncomfortable and unsafe environments to be in due to being intersex and biracial. fandom spaces unfortunately tend to be extremely racist & intersexist. i had friends who were heavily involved in fandom as a teenager and i felt very unsafe due to the sheer amount of fetishiziation of intersex bodies that goes on in fandom spaces.

this is simply an outsider's perspective, but i don't really see fandoms as "representation" that can be "erased" because it's all conjecture and everyone has such wildly different opinions on what a character is or is not. it's not representation if it's not confirmed. if it's just a headcanon it's not representation, as it was not confirmed and thus is conjecture and speculation. i might be wildly off base as an outsider, but i always kinda thought the point of fandom was for everyone to express how they interact with that piece of media uniquely, and spread and share their thoughts and opinions? why are people trying to control how other people interact with a piece of fiction that they did not make...?

that seems antithetical to the idea of fandom. i thought it was supposed to be a fun hobby? again maybe i just *don't* get it as an outsider, but it makes no sense to me to try to control someone else's internal opinion on something that quite literally is not real. like at the end of the day none of these people are real, you can't hurt their feelings you're not 'erasing' anyone here, they're literally not real, and if it's only a headcanon that that person is transfem... then you're not. erasing. a transfem character, it's just conjecture. it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you see them as because you're free to think and feel those ways in your head. you're allowed to engage in those thought experiments because that person quite literally is not real so it's okay to speculate on their identity. it's not okay to do this to another live person but if they're fictional who... cares?

this may sound really harsh but i need to stress to people that fictional characters are not real human beings, and stressing out over their genders or sexuality does nothing to help you. you can't hurt their feelings. you can't erase a transfem that isn't confirmed to be transfem. a headcanon is just that: a personal opinion. it shouldn't come to the point where it causes distress and fighting. this is a hobby, it is not one's entire life. i would recommend just blocking and not engaging with people who try to police how you interact with leisure behaviors. i don't think there's one true way to be "Right" about these kinds of things because it's literally all conjecture

also sorry, i have no idea who that character is! i don't know very many fictional characters by name so i can't lend any input there, apologies. for the future, if anyone is curious about my feelings on these sorts of things about other characters, i unfortunately cannot help you as there's a near 100% chance i am not familiar with them and can't lend any input

how can an opinion be right or wrong ... ? that just doesn't make sense to me. it's all opinion. it's not worth hurting other people over or yelling at each other. i'm sorry that i can't give you a more informed opinion, but i thought maybe an outsider's perspective could help somewhat. i hope this is somewhat informative or helpful to you at all- i honestly don't think it's right for people to try to control each others' headcanons because that is quite literally thought policing and i am not here for that. anyway, take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by :)

[mister13eyond]

talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"

like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like

imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.

i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.