#you can have more pickle or less pickle
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
etakeh · 1 year ago
Text
I was looking through the KFC menu for the first time in maybe 10 years, and saw something
Tumblr media
"Beverage bucket"? It's huge, it must be a bucket like with ice to put your beverages in? to keep them cool on the way home?
no?
no.
Tumblr media
it doesn't get better.
Tumblr media
???????
See this is why I don't fast food, or even chain eat, often. This is bonkers.
9 notes · View notes
look-at-the-stars-tonight · 3 months ago
Text
the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
9 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Various recent pictures of things
#or.. recent ISH.. this was still a few months ago lol#photo diary#EEEee... it's like over 45 minutes away from where I live but I finally found an arcade to go to that's not like entirely in the city and#is less busy. I went like the second they opened at 11:55am on a tuesday while school was still in. So there was basically no other people#there aside from like 5 staff. + wearing high quality KN95 mask and limiting my time there to under 1hr..#Also this was before the current summer covid surge happening since June in the US. so... I got to do One Single safe activity for once lol#skee ball my beloved.....#I actually don't like a lot of arcade games so I basically just spent 70% of the time doing skeeball ghjbjh#But I did weirdly like that pearl themed machine.. even though its one of those foolish games where you just drop items#and hope that they build up enough to let coins fall. like very boring not skill based or etc. But the Aesthetics of it.. I was drawn#to.. I wanted to crack the glass open and harvest the smooth white orbs from inside.. it would have been even cooler if they were#actually pearlescent in some way. but the round bubbly design and the blue and white water and shell theme entranced me#I love air hockey also but this machine was really flat and weird. like not enough air was pumping and the puck was very cheap and flimsy#An afterschool daycare place I went to once as a child had an air hockey machine that they would allow kids limited use to sometimes#and the air was always BLASTING up from the table so much that you could lay on it and it was like being hit by a slight breeze. and the#puck was very hefty and more of a satisfying clunk when you shot it around. I mastered skee ball with two arms#where I would load up a game on two machines right next to each other and throw one ball with my left hand to the left machine and one#with my right to the other and still got an okay ish score on both lol. But I do forget arcades can be very sensory overwhelming like#bright lights and noises and stuff.. walking past every blinking machine chirping at me like SHUT UP I'm trying to get to SKEE BALL#leave me ALONNEE. ghjhb... ANYWAY.. other stuff.. some images of clouds as usual.. a quaint little breakfaste#of eggs. pickled onions. grapes strawberries. and some turkey bacon. Also ofcourse Cat In Weird Position image.#he's always sitting with his legs stretched out funny#I kind of hate arcades on principle since much is a waste of money and time and many games are rigged (especially claw games) where#theres like some Illusion of Skill but so much of it is just random. I simply do not have the patience for that sort of thing. And usually#all the stuff you can win is bad anyway. BUT I also love active games.. if there was a place where I could JUST play skee ball. ddr.#air hockey. and like games where you have to aim at stuff (shooting games. wack a mole. etc.) then I would go there instead.#Active Games Only arcade. It bothers me sometimes to have to walk past all the scammy games to get to the decent ones lol..#Begone.. Out of my site at once... wretched claw machines.. and those things where you try and stop a light or whatever
5 notes · View notes
jaythelay · 27 days ago
Text
Color me shocked the guy with roaches in his hair, a house of flith, who's only audience is impressionable kids, is Pro-Genocide.
I expect Twitch to do nothing about this as they clearly agree. Only one way for them to prove otherwise...
1 note · View note
jimingyue · 11 months ago
Text
Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
Tumblr media
🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
7,192 notes
Tumblr media
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
154,688 notes
Tumblr media
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
32,456 notes
Tumblr media
🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
48,971 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
34 notes
Tumblr media
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
545,460 notes
Tumblr media
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
7 notes
Tumblr media
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
988,653 notes
Tumblr media
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
36K notes · View notes
foggysilverfeathers · 5 months ago
Text
Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??
0 notes
Tumblr media
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again
🐟 gemstone Follow
I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Tumblr media
1,930 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 126 without a mending book
27 notes
Tumblr media
🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow
uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd
⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated
Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.
🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow
...hELLO?
🌸 joel-beans Follow
lmao they deactivated what a loser
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes
🐟 gemstone Follow
@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??
2,441 notes
Tumblr media
🌸 joel-beans Follow
Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
I feel like I'm missing something...
🌸 joel-beans Follow
SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
Joel!
🌸 joel-beans Follow
If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me
133 notes
Tumblr media
🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow
anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/
🪓 big-salmon Follow
That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits
🪓 big-salmon Follow
says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.
🐟 gemstone Follow
To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)
Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)
Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)
The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)
Hope this helped! <3
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!
🐟 gemstone Follow
*sales
🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow
SHUDDUP
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
:(
2,750 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 131 without a mending book
34 notes
Tumblr media
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 164 without a mending book
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
it's not the same
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages
🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow
continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions
2,316 notes
Tumblr media
🔥 tongo-tak Follow
Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!
☀️ pearlescent-post Follow
skill issue tbh
1,102 notes
Tumblr media
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question
🌺 git-gorgeous Follow
sell them something
🔥 tongo-tak Follow
bribe diamonds
🐍 puppet-master Follow
kill them
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
okay will do!!!!
🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow
wait
2,989 notes
Tumblr media
🐍 puppet-master Follow
Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
🐟 gemstone Follow
<3
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOLE
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOME
⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow
WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT
🐾 renthedog Follow
um.
2,655 notes
Tumblr media
🌸 joel-beans Follow
etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post
🌸 joel-beans Follow
almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me
1,113 notes
3K notes · View notes
angelicgirlmj · 3 months ago
Text
an angels guide: healthy eating at school
Tumblr media Tumblr media
hi angels! you voted and this came first so here it is, an angels guide to eating healthily and focusing on your body and health goals at school. healthy eating at school can be tricky. you use up so much enegry and time in class and studying that meals can seem a little less important. you might end up skipping a meal or eating a meal that ends up not fitting your health goals all because you ran out of time. i have created three categories of lunches to help you find meal inspo: cold lunches, hot lunches and make the night before lunches. also a bonus snack section and some general tips! enjoy angels and feel free to comment your go to lunches/snacks.
˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
tips
bring a bottle of cold water with you to school, drinking water regularly helps you look and feel your best.
eat breakfast! even if you don’t get very hungry eating in the morning helps your brain and body function it’s best. try having some fruit or a smoothie if you really struggle to eat in the mornings.
try vitamins/probiotics to help you get all your nutrients and vitamins in.
buy a cute lunch box/food containers to make sure your lunches are adorable.
make a pinterest board of cute healthy lunches to be inspired by!
figure out your health goals and create meal ideas from there. for example: i want to build muscle! that means you need more protein in your diet so plan meals and snacks with lots of protein sources to fit your goal.
˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
a week of cold lunches:
chicken salad: mix chicken, avocado, tomato, cucumber, carrot, corn, salad leaves (lettuce, rocket etc). add mustard and lemon dressing, season well with salt and pepper and fresh dill. dessert: raspberries and blueberries served with peanut butter and greek yogurt.
tuna and avocado pita: mashed avocado and tuna, seasoned with salt and pepper, fill in pita along with rocket and pickle slices. dessert: pineapple and pomegranate fruit salad.
cold rice bowl: mix cooked salmon, rice, cucumbers, cooked broccoli and sliced carrot. sprinkle with sesame seeds and pepper and salt. garnish with a garlic mayo or homemade yogurt garlic sauce. dessert: chopped strawberries dipped in yogurt and coated in dark chocolate and coconut oil left to harden.
feta and turkey wrap: place lettuce, turkey, tomato in a wrap and sprinkle with feta, pepper and salt. dessert: sliced apple (squeeze lemon over to stop apple going brown) with peanut butter, greek yogurt and cinnamon dip.
cold pesto pasta salad: mix cooked penne pasta, homemade pesto, tomato, rocket, avocado, grated parmesan and season with salt and pepper. dessert: tangerine pieces and kiwi.
cold noodles: mix cooked noodles, shredded red cabbage and carrots, green onions, handful of crushed peanuts, chopped cucumber and cover with sesame peanut sauce. dessert: homemade blueberry banana oat muffin.
salmon bagel: add salmon, cream cheese (or cottage cheese), cucumber, rocket, lemon and pepper to a bagel. dessert: blackberries and mango.
˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
a week of hot lunches:
pizza toast: spread homemade tomato sauce on a piece of sourdough bread, cover with mozzarella, add your favourite toppings such as ham, mushroom, olive, pepper etc and bake until cheese melted, serve with rocket. dessert: banana bread and greek yogurt.
stuffed aubergine (or eggplant): sauté aubergine, onion, garlic, pepper, zucchini and olive, add in tomato paste and season. put in aubergine and sprinkle with cheese. bake until cheese melted. dessert: sautéed apples served warm with yogurt and granola.
chicken meatballs: homemade chicken meatballs cooked with a soy based sauce and red peppers. serve with cooked rice. dessert: strawberry oat crumble.
gyozas: heat or make some gyozas and serve with a cucumber and carrot salad with soy sauce to dip. dessert: hot matcha tea with strawberries.
soup: make your favourite soup and serve with some warm sourdough toast. dessert: watermelon slices.
quesadilla style wrap: fill a whole wheat wrap with cheese, turkey, tomatoes and avocado. cook until cheese melted and warm. dessert: green grapes, blueberries and raspberries.
grilled chicken burrito bowl: mix grilled chicken, rice, avocado, black beans, corn, tomatoes, red onions, cilantro and sour cream with cooked rice and squeeze over lime and season as preferred. dessert: rice cakes with greek yogurt strawberries and melted dark chocolate.
˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
snack ideas:
veggie sticks and hummus.
fruit salad.
frozen banana, peanut butter and chocolate slices.
pretzel thins and sliced cheese.
frozen grapes and lime.
salty popcorn.
yogurt parfait.
cucumber and cream cheese rice cakes.
cookie dough protein bites.
banana peanut butter rice cakes.
homemade oatmeal cookies.
smoothie.
chia pudding.
˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thank you for reading! happy back to school season. remember to nourish and take care of your body - you deserve it! love, m.
3K notes · View notes
tac-the-unseen · 3 months ago
Note
how slasher reacts that s/o is rude and hot-tempered with everyone but with him he becomes sweet and kind ?? (pleaseee do Tommy)
Slashers x Rude Reader
Tumblr media
Micheal Myers:
•Honestly whatever
•He thinks it's a little funny when you're sassy or bitchy with people
•He chill with almost whatever you do
•Loves feeling like He's the only person in your world (He's toxic like that)
•giving only him your affection sends every happy chemical to his brain
•No matter what your relationship, He wants to be the only one
Billy loomis & Stu macher:
•You give these boys whiplash
•One second you're yelling at somebody, and the next you're giggling and laughing with them
•However watching you blow up at a guy for flirting with you is enough to make them stay
•If you're also a Ghostface, they're putting you on phone duty. They love your sassy one-liners
•They both back you up all the time, whether you're wrong or right
•these boys are real ride or dies (You did watch the movie right?)
Thomas Hewitt:
•Confused
•He has no idea how you can switch up so fast
•He loves how kind you are to him, But watching you be mean to everybody else makes his head spin
•On one hand he loves being around you, and you are truly his best friend. On the other, he doesn't know How you even became friends in the first place at times
•Your smile is enough to remind him though
•But he also knows that your mouth is going to get you in trouble, So he's double protective
Bubba Sawyer:
•Another case of whiplash
•But at least you get to stand up and fit in with his brothers
•they're the rudest people he knows, So at least he knows that you're truly part of the family
•And someone has to tell the cashier he ordered no pickles, And it's not going to be him
•Loves seeing your ‘soft’ side (It makes him feel special and trusted)
Bo Sinclair:
•Loves it
•Couldn’t be more proud
•Watching you snap at travelers is enough to put hearts in his eyes
•He cheers you on while you verbally brawl with others
•Sometimes wishes you're that bitchy with him (But then he remembers all the people you made cry, and prefers not to be on that receiving end)
Vincent Sinclair:
•A little unsettled by the deja vu he gets
•You remind him so much of his brother that it bothers him to a degree
•Then you're so sweet to him and he forgets that feeling for a while
•However he will have a mini crisis by how many rude people are in his life….or were
•Asks you to try and be a little nicer to people, while also giving you permission to have screaming matches with Bo (You leave poor Lester out of it!)
Lester Sinclair:
•He kind of needs someone to stand up for him
•someone has to set his brother's straight, and it sure ain't going to be him
•views you like a guard dog
•He's so grateful for it too
•Tries to repay you by taking you the scenic routes if you tag along with him for work
Billy Lenz:
•Whenever he's fed up he hands you the phone line
•Another slasher that cheers you on
•Scream at the sorority girls all you want, no matter what he'll be behind you with imaginary pom-poms
•And when you turn around and look at him with affection, it makes him melt
•Will be snuggled up to your mid section with you curse a bitch out
•If you literally weren't the only person in his life, you'd be a little concerned that you are his comfort person
Brahms Heelshire:
•as long as you're not rude to him, whatever
•kind of loves it, but will not admit it
•It makes him less prone to jump out and grab people
•Will still snatch a hoe if needed, but he loves to watch you take care of ‘pests’
•Sassing the grocery Boy is a sure way to get Brahms to do whatever you want
•It just makes him feel secure, heard, and understood
Hannibal Lecter:
•Be honest with yourself
•You do not have Will Graham privileges
•You're going in the soup
•om nom nom nom 😋
Will Graham:
•another case of: whatever don't care
•(Not) The rudest couple in town
•You've both mastered the “Bitch Please” Look
•Hannibal tries telling Will that you are bad influence, Will doesn't listen and does not care
•you're as sweetest can be to him and feed his puppies, that is enough for him
The Lost Boys:
•You fit right in
•What other possible qualifications would you need to have to join the residential sassy, vampire, biker, club??
•Watching you curse out a clumsy Tourist makes their day
•David Loves to stand back and watch you ruin a sleazy dudes day
•Dwayne tries to reel you in when you go to far, but will mostly let you do your thing
•Paul and Marko Are your personal cheerleaders through and through! Right or wrong!
•But walking around the boardwalk, terrorizing tourists, spending time together in the cave, and overall spending time with them Really solidifies your place in the gang!
Thanks for Reading!
1K notes · View notes
p0orbaby · 3 months ago
Text
As We Plunge into the Ocean
summary: snapshots of your pregnancy journey with leah by your side
warnings: pregnancy and its potential symptoms, duh !
a/n: thank you for the request !
word count: 1.8k
-
You have to hand it to Leah, she's really leaned into this whole pregnancy thing. Not that you’re surprised. She’s always been a bit of a control freak. Actually, no, she’s a lot of a control freak. But now, it’s like she’s running drills for motherhood, and you’re the center of her training program.
Month 2: The Overprotective Phase Begins
“You’re glowing,” she tells you one morning. It’s sweet until you deduce she’s actually staring at the sweat on your upper lip. You’re clammy, nauseous, and you smell like day-old toast, but sure, you’re glowing.
Leah’s taken to hovering. She’s always been protective, but now, it’s like you’re made of glass, or maybe like you’re the last good avocado in Waitrose—precious and prone to bruising. She watches you closely, eyes narrowed, as if you might spontaneously combust into a pile of hormones and ash at any moment.
“You’re going to be late for training,” you remind her, trying to shoo her out the door with your tea bag as if you’re some sort of British Gandalf.
She glances at her watch, sighs, and then gives you that look. The one that says, I’m going to worry about you while I’m gone, so don’t do anything stupid like trip over air or suddenly decide to juggle knives.
“Don’t lift anything heavy,” she warns, pulling on her jacket, but making no move toward the door. “Or stand on anything taller than a pancake”
Close enough.
“Okay, Mum,” you say, deadpan. You’re both amused and slightly exasperated because Leah’s version of protective involves a lot of hovering and unnecessary life advice.
She kisses you on the forehead before leaving, like she’s blessing you for the day ahead. Or maybe she thinks you’ll forget how to breathe without her around. Either way, it’s oddly comforting.
When she finally leaves, you flop on the sofa, determined to enjoy the fleeting freedom before she comes home and starts fluffing your pillows like you’re an elderly Victorian woman with consumption.
-
Month 4: The Hormone-Palooza
Leah walks in from training one afternoon to find you sitting on the kitchen floor, crying over an empty jar of pickled onions. To be fair, they were really good onions. You’d eaten the last one two hours ago, and now the world feels like a cruel, onion-less void.
“What happened?” Leah asks, dropping her kit bag and rushing over like there’s been a national emergency.
“The pickled onions,” you sob, pointing dramatically at the empty jar as if it’s committed some unspeakable crime.
She stares at the jar, then at you, and you can see the mental maths she’s doing to figure out if this is worth her calling 999. But then she just nods, like she’s made peace with your hormonal breakdowns.
“I’ll get more tomorrow,” she says, like she’s promising to fetch water from a well three villages over.
You look up at her, eyes wide and wet. “Really?”
She nods. “Really. And I’ll get the sliced red ones this time”
You sniff, feeling vaguely stupid but mostly just grateful. “You’re the best”
“I know,” she says, deadpan, and helps you off the floor like you’re a drunk at a party who just tried to wrestle your reflection in the mirror.
But Leah doesn’t make fun of you for your hormone-fueled tears. She’s too busy making sure you’re okay, which is annoying and endearing in equal measure.
-
Month 6: The Nesting Madness
You wake up one morning to the sound of power tools. In your half-asleep state, you briefly consider the possibility that Leah’s decided to open a B&Q in your living room.
When you manage to roll out of bed, because rolling is now the only way you can get up, you find Leah assembling a cot in the nursery. She’s wearing a headlamp like she’s about to go spelunking. Her tongue is sticking out in concentration, and there’s a distinct air of “I watched this on YouTube once, so I’m basically an expert” about her.
“Do you even know what you’re doing?” you ask, leaning against the doorway, trying not to laugh.
She pauses, mid-screw, and gives you a look. “I’m following the instructions,” she says defensively, even though the manual is open to a page that looks more like IKEA hieroglyphics than anything else.
You decide not to mention that the cot is currently upside down. Instead, you settle in to watch Leah’s one-woman DIY show. It’s honestly better than whatever’s on terrestrial right now.
After a good twenty minutes, she steps back, admiring her work. You both stare at the crib, which is somehow missing two legs but is otherwise a valiant effort.
“It’s... something,” you say diplomatically.
Leah sighs, rubbing her temples. “I’ll call my dad”
You nod. “Good idea. He’s got that handyman vibe”
She gives you a mock glare. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t help”
“I’m in charge of moral support,” you reply, patting your stomach. “And the baby’s supervising”
“Lazy,” she mutters, but there’s a smile tugging at her lips.
-
Month 8: The Belly and the Beast
By this point, your belly is so big that it has its own gravitational pull. Leah has taken to treating it like it’s a small planet she needs to orbit. You’re the sun, and she’s some overzealous moon that won’t give you any space.
“Do you need anything?” she asks for the fiftieth time that day, hovering like a helicopter parent who’s misplaced their child in a crowd.
“No,” you reply, staring at the TV, which you can barely see over your stomach.
“How about water? I could get you water. Or juice. Or something with electrolytes. Do you want electrolytes?” Leah’s pacing now, clearly itching to do something.
You eye her, bemused. “I’m fine, Leah”
“Are you sure? I could fluff your pillow, or I could—”
“Leah,” you interrupt, trying to keep a straight face, “the baby and I are okay. You don’t need to, like, feng shui the living room or whatever”
She stops pacing, looking slightly sheepish. “I’m just... I don’t know what to do with myself”
You reach out and grab her hand, pulling her to sit next to you. “You’re doing great,” you tell her, squeezing her hand. “Now, just relax. Let’s watch something. Maybe something without pregnant women, though. I can’t deal with seeing anyone else going through this”
Leah laughs, finally settling in next to you. “Deal”
Five minutes into the show, she’s already got a hand on your belly, her protective instincts kicking in even during a Netflix binge. You roll your eyes fondly but let her be. At least she’s not trying to rearrange the furniture again.
-
Month 9: The Home Stretch (Or, The Last Nerve)
Leah is a bundle of nerves, more wound up than a cat near a cucumber. It’s almost cute, except when she insists on triple-checking the hospital bag, which she’s already checked twice in the last hour.
“Leah, seriously, if you add one more onesie to that bag, it’s going to explode”
“I just want to make sure we have everything,” she mutters, rummaging through the bag as if it’s one of those cursed Hermione purses from Harry Potter.
“We have everything. And then some,” you assure her, eyeing the ludicrous pile of baby supplies that could probably last through an apocalypse.
She finally zips up the bag and sits down next to you. For a moment, there’s silence, and you think maybe, just maybe, she’s finally going to relax. But no. She starts tapping her foot, glancing at you every few seconds.
“Do you think—”
“No,” you cut her off, knowing exactly where this is going.
“But—”
“Leah,” you say firmly, “I love you, but if you ask me if I think the baby’s coming today one more time, I might actually lose it”
She opens her mouth, then closes it, looking like she’s physically restraining herself from speaking.
“I’m sorry,” she finally says, sighing. “I’m just... I’m excited and nervous and I feel like I’m waiting for a bomb to go off, but the bomb is cute and we’re going to love it and—”
“Leah,” you interrupt again, “you’re doing amazing. But you need to chill, or the baby’s going to think it’s coming out to meet a drill sergeant”
She cracks a smile at that. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to relax”
She doesn’t. But she does stop asking you if you’re in labor every fifteen minutes, so you’ll take that as a win.
-
The Grand Finale: The Delivery Room Circus
The day finally arrives. Naturally, it’s at three in the morning because why would your body ever do anything convenient? You wake Leah up by shaking her arm like you’re waking a teenager for school.
“Leah,” you say, trying to stay calm even though your insides feel like they’re being twisted into balloon animals. “It’s time”
She’s up in an instant, wide awake like she’s just heard the starting whistle at the World Cup final. She starts pacing, half-dressed, muttering about the hospital bag.
“We need to go, we need to—oh my god, where are the keys? Do we have the car seat? Should we call an ambulance? No, wait, we’re not calling an ambulance, that’s for emergencies, this is an emergency, but not that kind of emergency—”
You grab her shoulders, trying to steady her. “Leah, breathe. We’ve got time. But we do need to go”
She takes a deep breath, nodding like she’s trying to calm down a very excitable puppy. Then she’s off, running around the house like it’s an obstacle course, grabbing everything and nothing at once. You watch her in bemusement, one hand on your belly, wondering if you should tell her that she’s just thrown her shoe into the fridge.
When she finally gets it together, the drive to the hospital is an adventure in itself. Leah’s driving like she’s on her way to rob a bank, weaving through traffic and swearing under her breath at every red light.
“Leah, the baby’s not going to fall out if we don’t get there in ten minutes,” you say, trying to keep a straight face as she mutters something about the stupidly long red lights.
Finally, you make it to the hospital, where Leah practically drags you to the entrance like a deflated balloon on a string. Once inside, she’s all business, directing the nurses like she’s running a tactical operation.
The actual labour is a blur—hours of pain, and sweat, and Leah alternating between holding your hand and looking like she might faint. But she doesn’t faint. She stays with you the whole time, even when you scream at her that she’s never allowed to touch you again.
When the baby finally arrives, Leah’s expression is one of awe, relief, and sheer, overwhelming love. You’re both exhausted, but when you see her holding your baby, all of her earlier madness makes sense.
She was never just overprotective or anxious. She was just ready—ready to love, ready to care, and maybe, just maybe, ready to stop checking that bloody hospital bag.
Maybe.
Probably not.
But you love her anyway.
391 notes · View notes
bamfkeeper · 2 months ago
Text
Anger.
Tumblr media
RQ: 'Heard that ur taking requests ! Love your work and the writing is great ! I was wondering if you could do reader x Kurt where reader is opposite of Kurt. Anger issues less understanding etc and has a mutation where they have two sets of wings and eyes ? So like really arch angel type of stuff but a real sinner. Being the other half then Kurt <3 have a great day and remember to drink water !' - @toxic-chainsaw-666
Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader // Warnings: None
A/N: I was actually really happy to write this rq because I tend to have some anger problems irl. I've always imagined how he'd be with someone who's less understanding and more hostile than him, so this was really fun! Written as a collection of hcs.
Tumblr media
Kurt is known as being the sweetheart of the group of X-Men, his heart of gold and aversion to violence, (unless absolutely necessary), makes him well liked by everyone. There isn't a single mutant who doesn't like to strike up conversation with him, he makes everyone feel welcome.
That's why when he began dating you...it rose a few eyebrows.
Your reputation was quite the opposite. Hot-headed, short tempered, aggressive...to name a few.
You were not very approachable, sometimes vulgar, and you had a habit of snapping at people before you spoke civilly.
Kurt tried his approach, your first instinct was to yell, but he just seemed so...sweet, so you found yourself holding back. His presence felt better than everyone else's, no judgement in his eyes.
He'd have a knack of calming you down too, or helping you cool off better than other people might. His presence helps your nerves a lot.
When you get angry, your appearance shows your extra features, which often makes others wary and scared. Kurt is never really bothered, he just does what he can to help soothe you.
He doesn't want you to be ashamed of yourself, he never makes you feel bad for being the way you are, he knows you can't help it. But he does try to guide you into reacting to things a bit better, just so you don't get yourself into trouble.
He would never try to change who you are though, he respects you enough to know that.
You both had very different ways of reacting to situations, your personalities were black and white, but somehow mixed together okay. You balanced one another out.
Sometimes you worry about religious differences too, since you feel like a sinner a lot, because you are, and Kurt's Catholicism is very important to him. He comforts you though, he offers support and guidance for you.
If someone is bad to him, he will forgive and forget. You will not. You will make sure that person apologizes, even if you have to hold them up by their collar and force them to.
Your first instinct is to fight or choose a physical way to solve a problem, Kurt tends to try to talk things out instead. You two vary that way, but it's a funny combination to see.
"Liebling, no need for such violence, they bumped into me by accident," Kurt says gently after you threaten to hurt someone quite graphically.
You scowl back and cross your arms, while Kurt worries about your impulsivity, he does find your passion quite endearing, even if he doesn't agree with your methods.
You're the one to ask a food worker for no pickles on Kurt's order while he stays behind you shyly.
He's the one who often apologizes for your attitude, but also uses you as a back up, he gains confidence because of you. He knows you always have his back no matter what. You are his 'scary dog privilege.'
You both love one another despite the obvious differences you have. You both bring out the best in one another, and you support the other's weakness.
Opposites certainly attract.
Tumblr media
Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
Tumblr media
Dividers by @/adornedwithlight
357 notes · View notes
submalevolentgrace · 2 years ago
Note
Hi! I'm very interested in attempting to write a disabled character (not for this blog, I assure, for an book I'm writing) in which the story doesn't fetishize/objectify her prosthetic limb. I'm in many writing circles and have been for a long while, but I've never seen this issue brought to light which I realise is a very important one. I have much to change in my thought process, and thank you for bringing this issue to attention.
I'm curious, and I apologise if this has been asked before, but what sort of design could you see for a functional prosthetic that doesn't go for a plainly aesthetic appearance, or is soully to please others? I do note that you said prosthetics are generally... not that helpful. So is there a way that it could be? Or do you think it would always generally be better to not use a prosthetic, as its mostly for aesthetic purposes, as you said?
I apologise if this ask is too outright or anything, and I don't mean to intrude. Thank you for your time and have a beautiful day!
okay, i want to answer this as in depth as possible, because whenever i talk about having a prosthesis, someone will always tag some variation of "#writing reference" and i do wonder what message they're taking away, and i want to get as much of my experience out as possible to maybe help shape how this is all portrayed in the future. and yeah… this is gonna be one of those rambly smg posts that the expand feature was invented for, so i'll start with the very abridged TL;DR:
if you're writing a character with an upper limb prosthesis; don't. arm amputees are unicorn level rare even compared to leg amputees, and i've never interacted with or even heard of an upper limb amputee that regularly uses a prosthesis, let alone relies on one. fiction has lied to you for the sake of cool aesthetics, don't repeat the cycle. more in depth writing advice including nuance and "but i waaaant to" will follow.
that said, grab your donning parachute and let's get started...
context for everyone involved: i am an upper limb amputee that rants a lot about how prostheses suck, i lost my right hand roughly five years ago at roughly the age of 30 after a very rough decline in health… it was pretty rough. this question is being asked in the context of a previous rant post of mine, and i checked that the ask is about an upper limb prosthesis in particular.
the situation regarding the usefulness of lower limb prostheses is totally different; i am definitely no expert, but by all accounts, prosthetic legs are incredibly useful for many people. getting a good leg can be absolutely life changing and more or less necessary for day to day life for some; mostly because infrastructure and society is just so fucking hostile to wheelchair users. being able to walk - at the cost of pressure sores and rashes and increased residual limb pain - is a preferable option to many people than being unable to fit through a doorway or in a bathroom stall or find out that the key to unlock the only elevator is in the admin office up three flights of stairs (true story).
but upper limb prostheses… see, the thing is, hands are incredibly complex organs that rely on a lot of immediate haptic feedback to work at all. hand dexterity is all about control, you need fine granular movements of the digits yes, but you also need the subtle sensations of pressure and proprioception in order to adjust your movements on the fly. i speak from experience, in the years leading up to the full loss of my hand, i was slowly losing function of it, usually swinging between numbness that made it clumsy at best, or screaming overstimulation from moving it at all resulting in unpredictable spasms… and let me tell you, a half working hand is infuriating to try and deal with. you can never know if you have a good grip on something or if it's slipping because of the wrong amount of pressure, and there's only so many smashed bottles of pickles on the floor before you give up using it all together… so amputation wasn't a great loss there, i had time to adapt.
a prosthetic hand of any kind has all of those issues and more. they're heavy and bulky, the cosmetic faux fingers or gripping claw have crude movement at best, and there's zero feedback (put a pin in this). 100% of the time you're using a prosthetic hand you have to keep your eyes on the grip and visually guesstimate whether or not the thing you're carrying is held tight enough but not too tight, that is if your "heavy duty" prosthesis can even support the weight without the servos disengaging or the wrist attachment socket just busting loose. i dropped a whippersnipper on my foot last week when my socket couldn't take the weight and i think that was the final straw in me desperately trying to prove to myself that there is a single task my prosthesis actually helps with.
this is usually where fully two handed people start talking about bleeding edge DARPA tech, and how we just need to invest more,research more, develop more. better tech, more tech, neural integration, more more more. okay i promise the writing advice is coming! for starters on tech, my experience is already with a mid-to-high end ottobock terminal device: i've got a myoelectric nerve-signal operated proportional control heavy duty greifer; about the only upgrade left for me to get would be a rotating wrist joint if i could coflex. it's not military, it's not "rockclimber that owns a prosthetic company", but it's quality tech. it still fucking sucks. secondly, that high level military tech exists primary for PR purposes so they can say they treat their discarded casualties well, "we can rebuild him, we have the technology" style. every war vet i've read about or heard from that's been gifted that high level tech also abandons it for the same reasons; it's imprecise, there's no feedback (or the haptic interface has to be fully recalibrated every time they put it on), but mostly they're more capable without one.
okay, the transhumanist ableds say (i should know, i used to be one), what if we did more ~research and development~ and got that neural feedback working? then we could have fireproof superhumanly strong robot arms to fix up everyone! here's where i take out that pin we put up before and i tell you that a class of prosthetic arms/hands already exists that has perfect proportional control, fine motor control, and physics perfect pressure feedback piped directly into the patients' existing sensory systems! they're called body-powered prostheses, and they were invented in like the 1600s. you strap a whole bunch of stuff to your arm and shoulders shoulders, and control the operation of the terminal device and elbow through cable tension by flexing your shoulders. they do take a considerable amount of training to operate - though hell i spent 18 months training to use my myo - but based on everything i've read, body-powered prostheses are the best option if you're an upper limb amputee and absolutely need a second hand for some reason.
but they don't look cool and futuristic, and according to my prosthetist, most people give up on using them too. we all give up on our prostheses, no matter the type. my rehab OT was impressed i lasted the 18 months of my training. towards the end, they even asked if the clinic director could drop in to one of my sessions to see my progress; he expressed genuine amazement at me casually using my bulky robot claw to use a brush and dustpan, and made an offhanded (hah) comment about what someone can achieve "if they stick it out to the end", implying it was somewhat of a rarity for me to have done so. several years on, and yesterday i wedged the dustpan between my ankles to sweep up into it, awkward but exponentially less effort than putting my dusty robot arm on. which, by the way, is a whole thing. look up some videos, they're all awful to don. i don't actually know the official technical name of what my clinic calls a "parachute" but it's a bitch to use! have you ever tried to pull back with your arm whilst also pushing it forwards at the same time, and simultaneously lean in to and away from an external force pulling on you? that's how you get a myo socket on.
bare with me, i promise writing advice is coming, and i promise it's more than the tl;dr. but. remember when i said a half working hand is infuriating to deal with? any prosthesis, from fancy myo tech to pirate-era body powered, will only ever be half as good as a working hand, and being juuuust within capability to do something but not quite able to is maddening! but you know what works way better than a half working hand? no hand at all. using whatever residual/vestigial limb you have - whatever "stump" you have, i hate that word - is pretty much always better than trying to use a prosthesis. i can use the inside of my elbow to grip and carry things, i can use the nub of my arm to apply pressure to hold things, open doors, use a computer mouse, turn on taps and lights, if i put a glove over it i can use it to prep for cooking. i have full proprioception and pressure feedback with skin contact, i don't think i've ever dropped and broken anything from my elbow, unlike countless things slipped from my greifer - which, by the way, absolutely will start clenching as tight as it can if i get even slightly too sweaty around the electrodes, which has both broken things i'm holding and also injured me, because surprise surprise but servo operated robot claws have pinch points on them right near the "emergency disengage" lever for some reason!
but i am exponentially more capable without it on than with it. no, i'm not fully independent, i rely on housemates and loved ones to help me out with some tasks that simply just need two handed dexterity, but none of those tasks are things a prosthesis makes me able to do anyway. i used to imagine my prosthesis would be like a bra; a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but i'd wear it throughout the day because it's helpful and take it off in the evening to decompress. in reality it's actually exactly like a bra: an absolute bitch to put on one handed, unbearably uncomfortable because it never sits right, ugly af unless you're a millionaire, and absolutely useless except for the fact that i get gawked at and judged by strangers if i leave the house without it on.
and if you really want to discover how far "no hand is better than a half working hand" goes, brace yourself, and look up the patient's stories (not medical system stories) of people that have had hand transplants. the first man to receive one hated it, he was promised a return to normal function, and what he got was a nightmare worse than being one handed; he wanted it removed again but the doctors refused because it would undermine their grand achievement of the first hand transplant. the doctors and society wanted him to be fixed, they wanted him to be normal, they wanted him to be abled. they failed. they made him less able to do things, denied his autonomy, and left him with someone else's hand slowly rotting on him, prioritising the idea of "scientific progress" and "two hands good" over the physical health, mental health, and ability to function of this man.
he's not alone; every story from the patients' perspective about hand transplants that i've read goes this way, including a woman who was born quad limb different and was promised hands would improve her life, pressured into a double hand transplant, only to find herself after the surgery essentially experiencing disability for the first time ever, because she had lived her whole life getting by just fine with her 'underdeveloped' limbs, but half working hands are worse than useless. you can try to find these stories yourself, but i'm not going looking for sources on any of these cases, because if you look back through enough of my posts you'll get a glimpse of the horrors and abuses that i too was put through by doctors who prioritised trying to "fix" me at any cost, rather than providing me the best quality of life, and in turn traumatised me and left me more broken than any loss of limb on its own could. dear goddess, i promise the writing advice is coming.
so. why do upper limb prostheses exist at all? if they're so terrible and useless, what is their function? i want to borrow something someone else left in the tags of a previous rant here, from someone who i believe works in prosthetics and/or rehab, cleaned up and anonymised at their request:
"upper limb functions are wildly more complex than: 1) bear weight static, and 2) bear weight moving. but every single upper limb amputee i know has a fancy expensive prosthetic just gathering dust in the closet because there is literally nothing it can do like a few years of adjustment and if needed non-dominant hand retraining can't do. the existence of forquarter prosthetics to begin with is just kind of silly and useless and entirely to make OTHER people feel comfortable, especially considering they universally are UNcomfortable for the amputee. i hate the notion that as soon as you get the amputation the prosthetic is The Thing That Will Fix You And Make You Feel Normal again because it universally isn't! but every forequarter person i know had like this ideal of Being Fixed By Magic Prosthetic that they were then obviously wildly disappointed by and had to do yet another grieving process with, versus if the dominant narrative were just one of: yeah. it'll take time, there is no magic fix."
and i think that really nails down what the actual purpose of upper limb prostheses is: they're not for the user, they're for the sake of other people. and not just their comfort when looking at our bodies, although based on the pressure for both amputees and people born limb different to get functionless cosmetic plastic hands, there is a lot of that. but it's not just that.
i fully believe that the reason prosthetic hands exists is to comfort the fears of the two handed. "don't worry", they say, "we can fix you again. you don't have to fear becoming Disabled, you don't have to worry about adapting or your life changing. we can make you Normal™ again."
you would not believe the number of people that have approached me to shower me with pity, to tell me how horrific my life is, how they can't imagine it. people have told me, apropos of nothing, that they'd kill themselves if they lost a hand. indirectly, that my life isn't worth living. unless, of course, i happen to be wearing my cool as fuck looking robot prosthesis! then they tell me how wonderful it is, how lucky i am, how glad they are that we have the technology to fix me. that's what a prosthetic hand says, what all the happy fishing photos on limbs4life posters at the rehab clinic say: don't worry, we can fix you. that's what the bleeding edge DARPA flexi-whatever fully articulated neuro-feedback hands say: don't worry if you get IED'd while hunting civilians for us to drone bomb, if you get hurt, we will fix you, we will fix the fuck out of you, we will motherfucking adam jensen you into a cool as fuck cyborg that your son will idolise; come on boys, don't you wanna enlist just for the chance at being as cool as this? join the bomb squad for a ticket to the upgrade lottery.
and so we arrive at fiction. as much as his dialogue options protest, adam jensen loves his robot arms, they punch through walls, turn into fucking swords! they make him the most special man in the world. what would he do without them? learn to cope? grieve? practice acceptance? take up poetry? just, be disabled? there's no power fantasy for ableds in that.
in fact, can you think of a single fictional character that's an upper limb amputee that's, well, just an amputee? they all have robot arms. not realistic prostheses, not medical devices; robot arms. sleek or bulky, top of the line or broken down self built, steampunk or nanomachines or magitech automail; they're never without them. never just an amputee. never born limb different either! there's always that element of tragedy to overcome, always suffering and misery porn, always focus on the pain and the helplessness without the absolutely vital robot arm that makes them Normal and Whole. the closest amputee example i can think of is furiosa from mad max, who iirc fucking punches max in the face with her residual limb like a motherfucking badass! i can barely lean on mine wrong and she punches a guy! but she still apparently needs a dieselpunk robot hand to drive a truck, something you can do one handed so easily most drivers don't even notice they're doing it! please don't, by the way
and so many disabled fans love to point to robot armed characters as disability representation; the winter soldier, luke skywalker, edward elric, misty knight, that genderswapped furry girl from ratchet and clank, jet cowboybebop, finn the human, and yes, adam jensen…. these are all characters that someone disabled i know has told me they love because they "represent disabled bodies"…. and i know nobody wants to hear this, because i've been screamed at for saying it before, but… they do not. they are not disabled, functionally or within fiction. they are either perfectly able bodied Normal people with chrome paint on an arm, or tortured misery porn we are supposed to pity and feel lucky we're not them. sometimes both!
also you ever notice how it's basically always arms? lower limb amputations are orders of magnitude more common than upper, my prosthetist said i was probably only the 4th or 5th upper limb she'd worked with in her career, with literally hundreds of lower limb fits. but fiction doesn't seem to reflect that, huh? or any other part of the reality of disability. it's always cool as fuck robot arms, never cool as fuck wheelchairs or crutches or dialysis machines or colostomy bags. a fair few "i was blind but now i can see with Robot Eyes and also infrared and xray" around, which again, plays into that "we can fix you and make you cooler" propaganda.
by the way, up above when i was describing body powered arms, if you wondered to yourself why i went with a myoelectric one instead when i clearly believe body powered is better… yeah. i am not immune to propaganda! i too wanted to be cool as fuck. i spent years with deteriorating function in my hand for reasons that are still unknown, was misdiagnosed and medically neglected to the point that removing my hand seemed to be the only option left to offer some relief, and even that was a clusterfuck that left me worse than ever… of course i wanted to believe in the power and prestige of a cool robot arm that fiction promised me.
but fiction promises fantastical lies. and so.
we get to the writing advice portion of the novella that is this post. you asked for advice on how to write a disabled character with an upper limb prosthesis. you've read the tl;dr, you've read everything above i assume, you know i don't want you to do it. the obvious twist is that it's been writing advice all along, me trying to share my perspective on what it's like being an amp with a robot arm and how shitty it is, implying how almost any fully realised and realistic character that's missing an upper limb would give up on a prosthesis at all. you can already tell that every value judgement in me says "don't give her a prosthesis, no matter how functional or cool you make it. don't try to make the tech better to justify it, just let her be one armed, one handed. just let her be disabled, but not helpless. let her show off her elbow or underarm carry strength. let her love interest appreciate how soft and squishy her residual limb is in a moment of tenderness. let her natural disabled body be respected and valued."
but that's a personal value judgement from me, and you are the author of your own work. i know it's trite to say, but you are! even the act of deferring to someone with lived experience in the hope of doing a better job at representation is a value judgement, a good choice in my opinion, but one you needn't necessarily take. maybe you do want to write a character that has a cool as fuck unrealistic robot arm as a power fantasy, or a comfort blanket… i did.
i've been slowly writing my own probably terrible scifi epic for over a decade now, and when my arm was giving me hell back then, i'd take great comfort in this fantasy of my protagonist with her chunky robot arm, the terrible traumatic suffering of her loss, overcoming, the power and ability her advanced prosthesis gives her over others, that she alone has access to, because others are not willing to make the sacrifices required. inspiration porn. awful stuff to me now, but empowering to me then. as i grew and gained direct experience, i slowly reimagined her, rewrote her, ship of theseus'd her into an entirely new character; a reflection of me now, bitter at the whole thing, spiteful that her natural flesh arm evokes fear and distrust, but unwilling to suffer the pain and frustration of her unnatural prosthesis just to make others comfortable and respect her as "whole", however artificial that whole is. and as with the ship of theseus being two ships, once i realised the transformation, i re-added the old protagonist back in whole cloth as a separate character; proud of her robot arm and its power, but in new context, as a foil and antagonist, an in-universe military prosthesis propaganda figure to reflect how i now feel characters like her exist to us, the readers.
i'm not just sharing that as egotistical self promotion, but to highlight that, even if i sit here begging you all up and down not to write characters with robot arms for how bad and unrealistic they are; there's still something genuine and true that their inclusion can say. the great thing about the story that you're writing is that only you can write it, as they say. but i whole heartedly believe that to write to your best, you have to be aware of what you're writing and why. as tempting as it is to feel these characters form naturally in us and therefore we're averse to changing traits about them that feel organic and self evident; as authors we have omnipotent control over the text, every trait and detail is a reflection on us, so we'd sure as hell better understand why we're choosing to write a character with this trait. because anything you write without being aware of intent will take on its own meaning in the space between.
and on that note, if i don't say this, i'm leaving it to be inferred: i definitely don't want to appear to come down on the side of saying "you cannot write an amputee unless you are one", because we are rarer than single young bisexual unicorns! and it would be a tragedy if anyone read through all this and then turned away in fear, deciding to never write an amputee character (with or without robot arm) because they feel they can't do it justice… believe me, no matter what anyone says, some hack writer somewhere is going to keep writing adam jensens and winter soldiers. don't let them be the only voices in fiction! just try to do your best.
so my ultimate advice on the topic of writing a character with a prosthetic limb is to ask yourself one question in two different frameworks, and meditate on what you feel the answer is:
why does she have a prosthesis?
from a doylelist perspective as the kids say, as an author with omnipotent control, why are you choosing to write about this topic? why are you choosing to give this trait to this character? what does it say about how you view ability and disability, what makes a person normal, and what our society values? will you let her be in her natural body? or will you give her a prosthesis, force her to wear it by authorial fiat, or author her a meaningful reason to choose to? if yes, be sure you know; why did you give her a prosthesis?
and from a wastonian perspective, diegetically, inside the story, why does she choose to wear a prosthesis? what does it say about her inner character, and how she interacts with the world? how does she feel about doing it, is she prideful and loves the attention she gets, or does she resent whatever necessitates its use? how do people in this world view ability and disability, what does this society value? and above all, whatever the answer to these questions, whether or not she uses a prosthesis or is badass without one, how does she deal with the eternal freezing cold that every amputee ever feels constantly in their residual limb and why does nobody make a heat pack that fits over a nub without drafty gaps???
i can't outright tell you how to write a good upper limb amputee, but if you at least know why you're writing one and for what purpose, you're on track to write the best character that you can. that's the best advice i can give… other than, like, this whole rambly mess.
and, as a reward for reading this far, please have a very blurry cryptid photo of my cat doing his old man sit:
Tumblr media
9K notes · View notes
hedgehog-moss · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I finally planted my garden last week! We had a couple of days of sun which gave me hope, but it's once again raining every day. Thoughts and prayers for my tomato plants, but I couldn't keep everyone in the greenhouse forever, I had to make room for other plants.
(In the fourth picture above you can see what's inside the hügelkultur mound—it's a pile of branches + llama manure + compost + potting soil. One thing I find great about it is how well it retains moisture! Well it's not a problem this year so far but during heat waves I water these plants a lot less than non-mound plants.)
In the greenhouse my seedlings have been struggling due to lack of sun. Impossible to get courgette plants so I had to buy a few from the young couple in town who recently started a plant nursery—they didn't have many either, and I had to share with the mayor who also came looking for courgette plants because slugs devoured all of his.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He must have seen on my face that I thought my plants didn't stand a chance if slugs don't even respect municipal authority, because he kindly advised me to place crowns of bedstraw (see above) around my plants to protect them. I didn't dare to ask "If it works so well why do you have no courgette plants left?" I just said thank you, and then spent an entire evening last week weaving this sticky weed into crowns and whatsapping photos of my art to the mayor, who always replied "More! More! It needs to be thicker! Like a doughnut!"
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Meanwhile 1 leek in the greenhouse suddenly grew a lot thicker while the other 3 remained skinny and fearful-looking and I'm not sure why. They share a pot, so maybe it's like vanishing twin syndrome. My bell pepper seeds had the same asynchronous development issue—one pot is just now starting to have timid seedlings while the other (right next to it) already contains a grown-up plant with baby peppers:
Tumblr media
By far my happiest greenhouse plants are the potatoes and lettuce. They shot up so fast! I've been eating a lot of lettuce lately but I can't keep up with how quickly they grow in this cold, rainy spring. And I haven't had any slug raids in the greenhouse so that's great.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
My greenhouse squash, onions and pickles are still tiny and not worth a photo (harsh, but this post already has too many photos). My strawberries in the aquaponic towers are beautiful despite the lack of sun and I've been getting mini-harvests of 2-3 strawberries a day for two weeks! They're done now, but I started more seeds so maybe I can get a second round at the end of the month.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Three more things:
1. Morille helped a lot as I was planting the garden. She kept an eye on my gardening tools so no one would steal them, and sometimes used them as cheek-scratchers. At one point I put one of my beautiful bedstraw crowns around her neck so she looked like Philip III of Spain in that painting where he wears a big ruff, but tragically she ran away in outrage before I could take a picture, and when she returned she'd got rid of her collar.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2. At the cow parade the other day there was a lady at the market who sold jars of homemade pesto sauce made from all kinds of different plants, and it opened up my mind to entirely new pesto horizons!! I always make the traditional kind with basil, but I have plants that grow much faster than basil, like my rocket, so I tried making pesto with 1/3 basil 2/3 rocket (plus garlic, olive oil, parmesan, cashews) and it was so good! I have to explore all of her recipes now, like plantain or nettle or sage pesto...
Tumblr media
3. There's a monster in the greenhouse. It appeared practically overnight and is quickly claiming more and more territory. Unlike last year it's not a parsley monster—it's my lemon balm. One day it was growing in its vertical tower, luxuriant but tidy, like a normal plant, and the next it had quintupled in volume and was threatening to swallow the nearest planter. Look at the tiny tomato plants, they look terrified of it!
Tumblr media
I urgently need to fight back against this giant mélisse (as we call lemon balm) but I've been really busy and I keep putting it off, and then remembering anxiously at 11pm that I still have this creature to take care of, which is ironic seeing as lemon balm is supposed to relieve stress and anxiety. This is the exact opposite of why I planted you. Anyway if you never hear from me again after this post it's because I finally engaged in battle against this year's vegetal menace, and lost.
722 notes · View notes
sh1gglypuff · 5 months ago
Text
Kenma Headcanons!!
Tumblr media
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma is an only child, and when you get close to him it really shows. He has trouble sharing things with other people, hogs controllers, and is prone to argue.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma is a sweet boy at heart. Although, when he gets overstimulated he gets…grumpy. He’s angry when he’s tired. That’s less of a headcanon and more canon but!
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma says things very bluntly. If you ask him for his opinion on something that boy does not sugarcoat anything.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ He posts rage bait on twitter (X). When the Drake and Kendrick thing was at its peak he saw his chance and posted “Team Drake” or something just to spend a solid 30 minutes laughing at the replies until he got bored.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma is a very picky eater. We already know how small his appetite is but he’s picky with it too. Growing up he definitely would get away with only eating his favorite foods. Now that he’s grown he’s still afraid to try pickles. He asks Kuroo to order for him at restaurants too. “Yeah and he’ll get the cheeseburger. Could you do that with just the meat and cheese? Thank you.”
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ He absolutely hates PDA. If he had a partner he would definitely stay close to them, have his hand by theirs and sit next to them. His partner would be his safety net basically. He doesn’t like to be hugged in public, but he could tolerate it. If his partner tried to KISS HIM you best believe he is steering away from that kiss QUICKLY. that’s a boundary he set early on in the relationship though. Something about showing his intimate side to people he doesn’t know makes him feel weak.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma has very odd sleeping habits. He goes to bed early and wakes up very early. When I say early I mean passed out by 10 and awake before the sun rises. When he goes to bed late he wakes up late, and waking up late makes him feel just gross. He usually games as soon as he gets up, before he does anything else. Wrapped up in his blanket with his legs crossed on the bed he is absolutely enthralled with his 7th play through of Breath of the Wild.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Kenma has a fear of smelling bad. He hates cologne though, and whenever he wears some it makes his skin feel uncomfortable. He just does not want to be perceived as dirty.
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ If he was dating someone, he would be extremely clingy. This clinginess would all be 100% behind closed doors. He sends texts like “can i come over” “busy?” “hi” very cute I know. He is a horrible texter which is why he loves to lay on calls and go over to his s/o’s house. He likes to call the person he’s dating and just chat while he’s playing whatever game he’s playing. He likes to ramble on about game lore and the cool mechanics of the game. Let him talk, he’s a talker once he feels safe.
i’ll be so fr i could probably cook up so many more of these, my brainrot is fatal.
reply if you would like to see more or send in a request for a specific set of scenario based hcs!!
937 notes · View notes
natewriteslol · 5 months ago
Note
Hiii! I read your works alot because it's one of the active twst writers I see (I'm a dead writer myself LMAO)
Savanaclaw, riddle and Azul with a reader who's cheery and often bouncing with optimism that always has the mind boggling stories to tell. What do you mean that they literally man handed a lion because it won't stop messing around? What do you mean they were in a pit full of scorpions because they accidentally rolled down a hill? What do you mean they literally escaped a real decapitation (hinting towards Riddle LMAO) because he put one spoon full of herbs instead of a teaspoon? Like— they could go on forever! And the thing is, they have evidence of it.
Thank youuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶
A/N: Thank u so much I've been trying to stay on top of writing but it can get so hard!! But I really do try to keep this fandom alive w some goodies, anyways I'll stop yapping heres
Savanaclaw, Azul, and Riddle with a cheery, adventurous Reader!
Leona:
He didn't exactly always question your storytelling before he got to get to know you as he would rather spend time sleeping. But it seemed like literally everyone was captivated by your latest entertaining experience.
As you guys' relationship grew, it got to the point where he couldn't ignore you dropping an insane piece of lore about yourself.
"Yeah, I was accidentally poisoned before-"
"What did you just say-"
"It's okay though, the gnome did apologize and I got my stomach pumped but everything is all good!"
He makes sure to keep an eye out on you, and honestly your stories are the main thing that keep him awake during the day especially because they're real. And although it may seem he's nonchalant when you message him about where you're at, Leona always makes sure to respond as he does care.
Jack:
As your first friend at NRC and protector kinda, he would get paranoid when you would sometimes disappear. However at first Jack believed you were an independent person, and wasn't up to any nefarious activity.
Until you came back with a gorgon head in a brown sack where he was studying in the autobiography section in the library talking about that you accidentally defeated it.
He screamed in terror upon seeing the thing, causing for him to be shushed completely by offended students. But he could not care less due to the sliced head within the sack, however he quickly took you both outside and you being you didn't exactly see the problem in this situation.
Once you where in an open area near NRC's well he began to question you.
"Why-? A-And how? Why are you like this, do you know how much danger you were in?!"
"To answer all your questions in order, 1. I got lost and she had a huge problem with me, 2. I got scared and ran with my eyes closed with the sword and BOOM, just clean off, and yes I know I was in a lot of danger and I'm very sorry for not responding to your calls."
He was way too scared for both you and himself to respond and learned his lesson to keep an eye on you more.
Ruggie:
Ruggie always told you that he was a "see it to believe it" type person and he was never really believing your wild tales you would tell even if you came back with a little souvenir. He always just assumed you were pulling his leg for a bit.
Until he texted you one day over Magicam, since it was a slow day at the Savannaclaw dorm. Only for you to reply with a video, making him click on it not knowing what he should expect.
Queue you to being in an extremely angry dragon's mouth,
"Hey Ruuggieee! I'll get back to you later since I'm in a pickle right now, but I promise I'll call you when I'm done!"
He nearly passed out upon the sight because what in all of the sevens' names doing inside of that deadly beast. The beast man ended up walking to Ignihyde to possibly get Idia to track your location based on your I.P address, only for his phone to ring just as he was about to blab about what happened.
It was you!
He quickly picked up his phone to hear your excited voice blaring on the phone, "I told you I would call you back! Anyways, come over to my house I have something to show you."
You ended up bringing home a dragon's tooth and treasure and while Ruggie was overjoyed, he reprimanded you for being irresponsible.
But he wouldn't mind it too much if you brought back goodies like this just make sure to let him know so he could tag along.
Azul:
You were running late to a meeting about mending a contract between students he scammed. Since you know him quite well and is a good friend of his, the students thought your kind hearted nature could persuade him out of binding them to the Monstro Lounge for an entire semester.
He written in a small font on the contract that if you were over 15 minutes late, you would be unable to host this meeting and the deal would be off completely. The white haired boy glanced at the clock as the time ticked and he would have his own free work force.
Until you had to come 30 seconds from it being called off completely out of breath.
"Sorry Azul! But I got you a little present from the desert," you said dropping down in your seat and digging through this brown sack.
The ancient golden scarab of the Hot Sands.
"Is that-"
"The golden scarab included with the jewel eyes? Yup and I did it all by myself!" You said, extremely proud of yourself.
"Do you understand the value of what you have in your hand? And what were you doing all the way out there by yourself I just talked to you a day ago and that is damn near a 5 day journey?"
"I did this since I did the calculations and about an 1/4 of the wages that the students owe you is in the value of this jewel bug here. So if I split the riches with you, will you let them go?"
You did all of this for some measly students you knew in passing? How could you jeopardize yourself like that?
But he at the same time, respected you greatly and for your trouble and kind heart.
However, he told you to not go anywhere without telling him.
And no of course it's not because he cares about you and was scared once you told him where you went...of course not...
Riddle:
Is the first person who noticed you were gone because he likes to keep tabs on his friends. He didn't know what to expect but the red head just believed you were busy.
So, Riddle decided to shoot you a text as everyone was hanging out in the Heartslabyul dorm and he really wanted to see you.
'Good afternoon, Y/N please feel free to stop by the Heartslabyul dorm. Your company is very appreciated :)'
You quickly texted back, 'Hey Riddle! I'm gonna swing by with a surprise ;D'
He smiled at his phone, unknowing as to what you were going to bring by. Thinking you might bring by muffins or a sweet treat as such.
Not the sword of Excalibur.
You opened the door, bursting in loudly with the enormous sword slung on your back as Grim carried two sacks of gold. Everyone was completely flabbergasted, as the sword had been known to be a mythological thing not yet proven like the fountain of youth.
But there it was on your back as you grinned.
Turned out you picked up your first job at an exploration company and they sent you on a death wish mission to get this damn sword. And in contrary to what everyone believed would be the outcome, you succeeded and retrieved the artifact.
Unfortunately for you, you ended up being scolded for about two hours straight for being completely irresponsible by Riddle with some chime ins from your friends.
He admired your intense tenacity and bravery, but Riddle was super worried about you whenever you take on a quest. He forced you to have a partner whenever you go on missions and call him every time you reached an important point to make sure you were alive and safe.
"So... you really do care about me-"
"By the great seven- YES ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED IN THAT DAMN ENCHANTED FOREST-"
524 notes · View notes
muddyorbsblr · 7 months ago
Text
ill-intentioned "compliments"
Drabbles Masterlist See my full list of works here!
Summary: Loki steps in when a man subjects you to his tasteless opinion on your outfit
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 955 (issa blurb)
Warnings: creepy men being creepy; the tiniest dose of violence (let me know if I missed anything!)
Things to be aware of: a bit of mutual pining
Tumblr media
"I haven't the slightest idea why we have even been tasked with this," Loki muttered, walking alongside you holding a paper with a list of errands for the two of you to run this weekend. Every other week, two names from the team were picked from a hat, and this week, your names popped up.
"Well Pepper said something about it helping the team seem more approachable, 'human', if the public sees us doing 'normal people' things. So getting groceries, getting the cars cleaned and gassed up, picking up pizza…little things."
He grumbled even worse; if he wasn't such a stickler for his princely stature, he'd probably be slouching and dragging his feet right about now. "I suppose it could be worse," he said softly. "I could have been partnered with less tolerable company."
"Why Mischief, are you saying you like having me around?" you quipped, playfully batting your eyes at the god. "High praise coming from you."
"Do not make me regret saying that, little mortal." He rolled his eyes at you, failing to hold back the twitching of the corner of his mouth and hide the amusement. As he often did when he was around you.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I like having you around, too."
Your words took him aback. "Truly?"
"Of course." You pointed at the next item on your list, before motioning toward the top shelf. "You're the most tolerable tall person I could've been partnered with. Last time I got partnered with your brother I had to push around two carts on my own."
You had to look away while he reached up for the carton of pickle jars, resisting against every urge to ogle at the way his midnight black jeans stretched over his inhumanly perfectly shaped ass. "Well for what it's worth, darling, I would never let you do any of this on your own--"
"We-he-heeeelll, Agent Y/L/N," a voice drawled out, coming from a man who was no less than two decades your senior, eyes filled with such prurient thoughts that he didn't even bother to hide as he leered at you. The way he said your name, along with the way he looked at you, felt like you were being blanketed in slime.
Made you want nothing more than to kick his ass. Or even rack up a debt to the god you were partnered with and ask for his help.
"Don't you look mighty fine today, in that cute little skirt…" The unwelcome lecherous admirer was reaching his hand out toward you, letting out a yowl of pain when Loki stormed over, grabbed the man's wrist in his significantly larger hand, and squeezed.
"I think not," he said through gritted teeth. "You're undeserving to be sharing the same breath as her and you believe yourself entitled to a touch?"
"What? I was just paying her a compliment!" the man whined. "It's a free country, you fucking alien. What? I can't tell a woman she's pretty anymore? Is that what--"
"You know damn well you were doing more than that. You were putting her in a situation to give a clear message, that despite her stature and place in society, because you have deemed it so, she is still subject to your lecherous thoughts. You were going to touch her without her consent because you wished for her to know that you can, and whatever happens in the aftermath will not nullify how she was already subjected to being groped by your grimy unworthy hands." The god squeezed a touch tighter, a near sadistic smile stretched across his face when he began to hear bones creaking and threatening to crack.
"Fucking psycho you're breaking my hand!"
"Oh I haven't even begun to get psychotic," Loki spat out, squeezing just a touch harder and hearing the first fracture finally give in. He begun to speak lower, and you were too far away to decipher what he said next. "You know not the lengths I would go for her, you impotent, tiny, inconsequential insectile excuse for a man. Anyone who sullies her mood will have me to answer to, am I being clear?"
Another squeeze. More fractures. And the once supercilious man was reduced to a whimpering mess, pleading for mercy. "P-Please I'm sorry, just let me go I won't do it again."
"See to it that you don't." The god's eyes glowed a vibrant green for a moment, casting an enchantment that would replicate the sensation of his hand fracturing whenever he would so much as feel the urge to touch another unfortunate unwitting woman moving forward. When he was certain that the spell had taken, he released the lech's hand with a derisive sneer, not even bothering to watch him scamper away, choosing instead to turn and cross the few steps back to you.
"You know I could've kicked his ass no problem."
"I have no doubts, little mortal, but that would also mean you would have given him the satisfaction of touching him." He broke out into a smile when you scrunched up your face at his response, fighting against the urge to reach for your hand. Or tuck that stray lock of hair behind your ear.
Or kiss you.
"Thank you," you said softly as you both started walking toward the register. "The guys back at the Compound got it so wrong about you. You're not so bad." Loki's heart stumbled at your words, only to start pounding in his chest as you continued. "I'm starting to wonder if you're bad at all."
For the first time in ages, the god found himself unable to form words, a warmth blooming in both his gut and his chest. "Anytime, darling."
Tumblr media
A/N: Made this for @glitchquake because we should be allowed to wear cute workout clothes without worry about creepy fckers that 100% deserve stabbies when they try to bust out their creep factor 😤
'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist
737 notes · View notes
thexsilentxwordsmith · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
A comprehensive list of all my fics in order from most recent to oldest with summary descriptions for each.
18+
Two for One
Summary: Friends and coworkers, Sgt. Mactavish and Lt. Riley have one thing in common: how much they want you, though one is less vocal about it. During at night out everything comes to a head and suddenly you are leaving out of the bar with both on the way to a night of intense attraction coming to a head.
Rumors
Summary: A fight about a rumor, a confrontation, an admission, and suddenly your in the back of your car with no pants on.
Sleepless Nights
Summary: A bout of insomnia keeps you awake, so you decide to go for a midnight walk. To your surprise you find that you aren't the only one still up as the sound of the shower running in the communal bathroom catches your attention. Who is it and what are they doing in there? Why does it sound like your lieutenant and why is he moaning your name?
Closing Time
Summary: A military lieutenant closing in on retirement, a younger, beautiful bartender, when you and Lt. Riley meet there is an instant chemistry, though it doesn't really go anywhere as he thinks himself a little too mature for you... until one night he stays at the bar later than he ever has and gets caught in a storm. What will happen after closing time?
A Lesson Well Learned
Summary: Tired of your antics regarding how cavalier you take your sexual relationship, your lieutenant cuts you off and that has you immediately plotting. You know you can get him to break and all it'll take is one purchase. How can he keep his resolve when he sees what you've bought? And how will he act when he catches you?
Smoke Break
Summary: Lt. Riley sure has been taking a lot of smoke breaks lately. Strange that you always seem to disappear at the same time too.
Meetings and Temptations
Summary: A new relationship means excitement, an uncontrollable craving for each other. When an early morning romp is interrupted with a scheduled weekly meeting, will you be able to keep your hands to yourself when Price begins to drone on? And if you can't, what will your lieutenant lover do once the meeting is over after you've tempted him for far too long?
A Risk Worth Taking
Summary: You and Simon can't keep your hands off one another as you come home one night, but a slight problem has you in a pickle: your birth control has just run out and you are all out of condoms. Not to worry, Simon assures you that he will pull out. But as you ride him you begin to question if you really want him to. Will he stick to his promise or will he give in to your need?
Can't Let You Go
Summary: Two personalities that clash, you and your lieutenant rarely get along, but when it comes to light that Lt. Riley has been messing with things behind the scenes of your life, what will happen when you confront him? Is it really hate that makes you stay in the argument the ensues...or is the tension a little too heavy to ignore?
A Ride You'll Never Forget
Summary: Seeing Simon on his motorcycle is something that awakens a new yearning inside you, but when you get your own bike and start riding alongside him, the way he gets you hot and bothered makes it worse. You need him to fuck you on his bike and you hope your plan will make it happen.
A New Form of Pleasure
Summary: Simon is struggling, he can't get off and he doesn't know what to do. As his sergeant you are one of the closest to him and can see something is up. An impromptu visit late one night might just be what he needs... And the way you are suddenly making him bow to your authority and turning his brain off might actually make him come.
Breakfast in Bed
Summary: Only a few more days are left of his short leave and Simon is determined to make every last second count with you. What better way to start the day than buried in between your thighs, helping you wake up by the feeling of his tongue alone and then overstimming you.
Truth or Dare
Summary: During a game of Truth or Dare, your lieutenant is dared into giving you a kiss, but something about the way he has been acting lately may mean this is going to be more than a quick ordeal. And the way you have been feeling towards him won't be helping.
Truth or Dare 2: Dare To Tell the Truth
Summary: After a game of Truth or Dare leaves you and your lieutenant breathless and yearning for more, will you both be able to leave things alone or will one of you not be able to hold out? And what happens when you meet again?
Truth or Dare 3: How Truly Do You Need Me
Summary: After being so rudely interrupted in the middle of you and your lieutenant's tryst, but he made a promise. "This isn't over." You hope that he plans to keep it, but when? Things might have to wait as you are assigned to a mission with him. But when being close proves to much, will both of you be able to hold off on your lust or will you succumb to all that tension?
Truth or Dare 4: Dare to Take It Further
Summary: Something has changed; no, actually everything has changed as you and Simon forget the world a moment finally let that passion run its course. The thought was that once you both had each other it would make things calm, but now you're not so sure. Maybe he is willing to risk more and maybe you are too. Having to sneak around isn't so bad, right? Maybe it could all work out... At least you hope so. But things don't always go according to plan.
Truth or Dare 5: No More Games
Summary: Things are getting complicated, truths are being revealed, and a decisions are going to have to be made regarding the future. So much hangs in the balance and emotions are high as reality makes this about no more games.
A Special Dinner for Two
Summary: Such a good little wife you are to your military husband, ready to welcome him back home after he returns from deployment. This time you've even prepared a meal of all his favorites, but when Simon gets back early than expected and catches you flitting about the kitchen in nothing but his t-shirt, it isn't food that he wants.
I'll Crawl Home To Her
Summary: Simon is away on a mission and you are on his mind. Having to extend his stay, he is going to miss Valentine's day, but coming across a recent trend on TikTok, he may have a way to say just how much you mean to him.
Don't Touch What He's Claimed
Summary: A night out at your favorite local hangout is what he promised you after being away on deployment for so long, but one small incident throws him over the edge into full on possessive episode. Something about the way he is pulling off to the side of the road might mean he can't make it home before reclaiming his prize.
Simon Riley: Girl Dad Extraordinaire
Summary: From a request about Simon being more hands on with his 3 m.o. daughter.
You Are Beautiful
Summary: When a movie night has you questioning your bodies worth, Simon catches you in the shower to show you that your body is perfect just the way that it is.
Simon fingering you under the table during a night out at the bar with the Taskforce
Summary: With the drink flowing and the atmosphere right, Simon cannot seem to keep his hands off of you. There is a need, a need to touch and to play.
Let Me Talk You Through It
Summary: While on deployment far away, Simon takes a little time one night to video call you and talk you through you touching yourself to the sound of his voice.
Simon needing to hold you after a bad day
Summary: After a day where nothing goes right, Simon only wants to come home to the one person he trusts- you.
Cockwarming Simon as you two make out in his office
Summary: From a request for Simon getting so worked up during a cockwarming session that he ends up having to pull out because he is going to come.
Drunk on You
Summary: Simon comes home from deployment, hungry to have his pretty girl all to himself. Things get heated quick and before long you are both drunk off the feeling of the other.
Bringing in the New Year with Simon
Summary: Short one-shot about how it would be spending NYE with Simon at the stroke of midnight.
Simon waking up in the middle of the night horny and unable to get back to sleep. There's only one thing he wants to fix it.
Summary: A little sleepy cuddle-fucking to get Simon back to sleep.
Wanna Make You Mine
Summary: Simon is out at a stag party for Prices upcoming wedding when he comes how early with something important on his mind that he needs to see you to say. Is he just drunk or is it something more?
Simon making it clear that you are the only one he wants
Summary: An incident with a new recruit has you questioning things, but not to worry as Simon is here to show you that you are the only one he could ever want.
Simon is so worked up all day that he rushes home, telling you to meet him at the door because he cannot wait to have you
Summary: He has been needing you all day and as soon as he gets home he wants you waiting ready for him so that he can fix that ache that has been driving him insane.
I'll Take You Filthy
Summary: Being the leader of your platoon and fucking you at the same time isn't something Simon wants paraded around, for both of your benefit as trouble could come from such a relationship. But keeping it a secret has become a problem as you've been out on a mission for a couple months with no physical contact to be had. The moment you return Simon has to have you...even though you are both filthy as fuck.
His Heart, His Light, His World- Dad!Simon
Summary: The birth of his first child changes everything for the rough around the edges military man. A small glimpse into his life now as a father.
A Bit of Fun At the World's End
Summary: Being on the run from the undead doesn't leave much time for more intimate things, but once things start to settle a little an ache begins to form that you haven't felt in a long time. What will you do when the only other person you are with is your former lover turned zombie.
Joining the 141 had one hard rule: no relationships of any kind between members, but that is something proving to be too much the closer you and Simon get
Summary: Simon cannot help but break the rules when it comes to you.
Body worship with Simon
Summary: Simon taking the time to make sure you feel like the goddess he thinks you are.
Simon desperately eating you out after a rough day
Summary: It has been a terrible, no good, rotten ass day. There is only one cure for it and that is for that hulking military man to find his way between your legs to eat you out until he can't breathe.
Getting so worked up during a celebration for Price's birthday that Simon has to take you in the bathroom of the bar
Summary: You just couldn't wait until you both got back, could you? No, not when you and Simon are screwing like bunnies every chance you get. So what's Simon to do? That's easy, take you in the bathroom and fix the problem of course.
Think of Me When You Cum Later (Part 1)
Summary: Simon is missing you like crazy while being away on a mission, but he has a clever plan to make sure you miss him too. So, perhaps a little video of him stroking himself will do the trick.
Something to Make it Worse (Part 2)
Summary: You get Simon's video and it leaves you wanting him something bad. Well, two can play at this game, so why not send him back a video of your own?
Something to Break the Tension (Part 3)
Summary: All the buildup, all the teasing, finally leads to this: Simon is back and ready to act on all those filthy things you two had been teasing each other with. Will you make it home before you both explode? Or will the car have to do to break the tension?
Late Night Texts (Part 1)
Summary: Nothing good ever comes from a text after dark... or does it? Guess it depends on who it is and what they need. If it's a certain Lieutenant, then it's bound to be something worth your while.
Mid-day Texts (Part 2)
Summary: Simon is getting more and more obsessed with his little friend who constantly finds herself in his bed. But when you are off on a quick mission for a few weeks, Simon begins to grow restless and this no strings attached messing around finds itself being turned on its head. What happens when you get a text from him the day you get back, in the middle of the day?
Life Changing Texts (Part 3)
Summary: After your explosive homecoming where everything seemed to fall right into place, Simon begins to get cold feet about his feelings and what they could mean for the both of you. All seems bleak until a text about someone harassing you while you're on a night out makes him come to your aid and solidifies a decision he has already made.
Spending the night at Simon's for the first time and him waking up to you in nothing but his oversized shirt
Summary: From a request about Simon seeing reader in his shirt for the first time.
Simon and you screwing in the shower
Summary: What's better than sex with Simon? Add some steam, some hot water, and some solitude and you have the recipe for a very good time.
Having Simon pick out lingerie for you
Summary: Coming up with the idea to take Simon out so that he can pick out a couple pieces of lingerie he wants to see you in, his choices really surprise you.
Simon has a favorite item of clothing you wear and you wear it since he's having a bad day
Summary: Simon has one favorite piece of clothing you wear and of course when he's having a rough day, you just have to wear it for him.
Simon fucking you brainless and then rubbing your head as you pass out beside him
Summary: Simon is not shy when it comes to sex, it's the more intimate things that he has a problem with. But after a round of rigorous screwing, he wants to show you a bit of extra care.
Desperate Times Call for Filthy Fantasies (Part 1)
Summary: As a new recruit, you should not have the gall to talk back to your superior officer like you do. He's tried it all, trying to work the insubordination out of you, but to no avail. Your antics have really gotten under his skin lately, but is it really because you won't listen and follow orders...or is there something more to it that he can't admit? The way his cock throbs might indicate the latter and what he thinks about as he touches himself might just speak to that as well.
The Brat and Her Beast (Part 2)
Summary: After a certain Lieutenant allowed his fantasies to run wild, there was only one thing left to do: make them a reality. Opportunity presents itself one day as your brattiness has reached new highs and he follows you into the communal bathroom and locks the door behind you both. You're all alone and now what? Seems you've bitten off more than you can chew, but you both know now that was your plan all along.
Silence on the Line
Summary: You and Ghost have always gotten through missions by keeping in constant radio contact when possible. On one fateful mission, he sends out the call but there is no reply. Only silence. As time goes on his greatest fear is realized and all that he knew is now turned on it's head. What happens when reality hits all at once? And what does it do to the once stoic man who is no stranger to death?
Tumblr media
The Lieutenant's Whore (Part 1)
Summary: When a one time sexual encounter leaves you wanting more, but the rules were set the moment he entered you and now he does his best to avoid you, what is a girl to do to get what she wants? That's right, make him jealous. And if it works a little too well maybe he will give you the night of your life. Good thing you have a flirty Scotsman to mess with, perhaps if you can't get your way, you can still have fun. Only time and a bit of effort on your part will tell what goes down.
What's Mine You'll Never Have (Part 2)
Summary: Hearing what he shouldn't have, Johnny is rightfully angry and what does he let that anger lead to? A bad attitude that leads to even worse decisions. As you confront him about this sudden change in demeanor, things start to heat up. What happens when Simon finds out? Actions have consequences and Johnny is about to learn that you will only ever belong to the man behind the mask.
2K notes · View notes