#you can call yourself a lesbian you can call yourself bi you can call yourself whatever you want in your head

[gender-critical-analytical]

the way some of you clearly think bisexuals don't experience actual attraction and feelings for people, but rather decide ahead of time if they want a man or a woman this time and then just go and pick whoever comes into their line of sight next is so obvious and definitely makes me think you all don't need to speak on things you don't know about

[shojoboy]

Being Bisexual is sooo cool we can be any gender and be attracted to any gender any amount, we lovvvvve women and nonbinary people and men and even if we only ever date or fuck one of those we are still Bisexual. We aren't "half straight, half gay", because that's not how sexuality works. Sometimes it feels like we don't have our own community but tbh that's because, the Gay community? We in there. The Lesbian community? We in there. Trans community??? We in there!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!

[maddestmewmew]

hey if any of u were questioning my stance on almost any queer discourse my stance is that i have better things to do.

[dream-sans-mogai]

This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-

Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.

(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)

[the-lady-writes-what]

I hate gays who are transphobic. I hate gays who say 'LGB without the T.' I hate gays who call transpeople fetishists and groomers. I hate gays who misgender and deadname trans and non-binary folk. I hate gays who perpetuate lies like how trans people are "forcing" gay and straight people to date them. I hate gays who perpetuate transphobia in the vague hope that transphobic conservatives will stop being anti-gay and spare them from violence. I hate gays who feed the face-eating leopards (i.e conservatives). I hate gays working with bigots who're trying to force transpeople back into the closet.

[sapphicdessi]

lol so many bi radfems argue like reactionary manipulative queerio tras and liberals when they're called out for homophobia or told of their privilege ://

[catgirlcrisis]

i hate to be chronically online but please dni if you are a space for bi lesbians or whatever they call themselves

[faaun]

hi! this is unrelated to the situationship but i’ve been going through a crisis about whether i’m bi or a lesbian for like six months now lmao and iirc i think you went through something similar once, so i was just wondering if you had any tips or advice about how you figured it out? tysm!

hiii i did ! i went thru this crisis like 3 times b4 i figured out i was bi, it can genuinely rly be difficult to figure it out it :)

i'd say keep in mind that it's not important to have a label rn - just keep urself open to exploring new feelings ! but also if u want to figure it out faster, spending more time w both men and women - esp those u think you might find more attractive - might help ! for me it was having guy friends, going to clubs, dating, etc, but it can truly be anything :) since starting a hinge profile i've been seeing quite a few men that i found super pretty which confirmed things even further for me (if you go down this route remember that dating app algorithms take a while to adjust)

also remember that ur standards for men may be different, and you may have an intense preference for women which wouldn't make you any less bi ! similarly, if you genuinely cannot imagine a future or conceive of any romantic/sexual attraction between u and a man, then you may be a lesbian ! the point is that u can date ppl and find out !! ♡ also labels can change as u learn abt urself over time so it's all good if you can't land on one definitive label rn forever, it takes time and life reveals new things to us all the time 🩷

while i like knowing that men are like...within my dating pool now, since realising i'm bi basically nothing has changed for me bc i still find women so so much more attractive, so it's good to remember there truly is no rush ! take ur time experiment have fun x

[joyce-stick]

if you think people aren't entitled to the personal autonomy to call themselves whatever they want and be attracted to whomever they want regardless of whatever they choose to call themselves, then-

Follow us if you want, I guess! I don't actually care what you do or if you disagree with us and I'm not gonna harass you about it. I'm not gonna block you over it either, unless you flood our mentions or askbox with vitriol, I suppose. Another follow is another follow and I'm not a cop or your mom. But don't expect us to acknowledge you or follow you back

[protectcosette]

this may be a controversial opinion but if you're still exploring your identity, some labels should be put on hold until your understanding of yourself is a little more concrete

[comphetthings]

i used to be v boy crazy, then accepted my bisexuality, thought i was a lesbian, then thought i was straight again and now think i’m a lesbian. it’s a fucking mess. i’m at the point now where i realized my attraction to men is just unattainable or celebrity men and that i’m almost positive i would never want to have sex with them. i’m nervous to come to terms with being a lesbian bc i’ve twitched up so much but it’s something that just feels so authentic and natural and just !!! me !!!

[cluescorner]

I doubt they would survive a day in their own communities. Like, have y’all ever interacted with LGBTQ+ people IRL?? It’s really cool. Genuinely was a wonderful experience for me. Met someone who went by it/its pronouns because it saw that as the only way to distance itself from the demand to fit into boxes implanted on it by humanity. Met someone who goes by any pronouns and faer does that for the exact same reason as the person above. He and it were besties, hearing their discussions on gender was really fucking cool. Made me question my gender, I found out I’m cis but it was still a good experience. More relevant to this post, you’ve also got a pack of wild lesbians who congregated once while I was volunteering: me the young’un (cis, she/her, femme lesbian, has sensory issues with penetration of any kind but isn’t ace), an elder lesbian (bacla, she/he/siya (no preference but one of those) likes penetrative and non-penetrative sex), and a lesbian roughly between our ages (trans, she/her, about 4 months into socially transitioning, asexual). We’re just...talking about being lesbians and our differing experiences. It’s great, we taught each other a lot in the day we knew each other! Siya helped teach me about ways to explore myself and my preferences without triggering any averse reactions, I helped the trans lesbian vibe with wanting to be more gender conforming and traditionally ‘feminine’ (teaching trans femmes the joys of spinning around in frilly dresses is so nice), and she helped our elder get caught up with modern gay news. We left our stations and I’ve never seen either of them again, but this shit is so fun and so much better than arguing with randos about whether or not they ‘count’ as a lesbian. Imagine if I did what tiktok does and spent that whole time saying that our elder couldn’t be a lesbian because siya doesn’t strictly identify as a femme-aligned person or that the trans lesbian was teaching him about the ‘wrong’ gay news because most of it involved ‘bad rep’. Say what you want about cheesy cishet friendly romcom fodder, but seeing my elder beam at the idea that non-LGBTQ+ people cared about our stories on a large scale made that mediocre movie worth existing. IDK, people need to get involved in their communities (online or offline) and meet gay people outside of their immediate bubble. 

TLDR; I’m 90% sure people involved in gay discourse have never actually spent time around gay people outside of their immediate bubble and that makes me sad. Talk to people y’all, it’s great. 10/10, would recommend. 

people on tiktok would never survive a day on tumblr

[syzygyblvd]

o yeah if you're bisexual but you hate all (and feel no Attraction to non fictional) men , you're probably not bisexual. just so you're aware

[incognitopolls]

This is not a perfect list; gender and orientation can be much more nuanced than we can represent in a tumblr poll. For instance, you can be aromantic and bi, or you can be not really cis but not consider yourself trans. Please choose the answer that is the closest, and you're welcome to clarify in the tags.

Cis means you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth.

Trans is an umbrella term that means you do not identify with your assigned gender, and includes all genders that are not cis man or cis woman. this includes nonbinary, genderfluid, etc.

Mspec stands for multiple-spectrum and is an umbrella term for anyone who likes more than one gender. this includes bi, pan, omni, poly(sexual/romantic, not referring to polygamous or polyamorous), and many others.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[foundfamilynonsense]

Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.

Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck”. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.

“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?

“I can just tell I’m—” how?

Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.

And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.

My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.

But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.

Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?

This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?

Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.

But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?

The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?

“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.

I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.

[a-polite-melody]

Do people really think “you’re pretending this word is a slur towards you” when the word was actually made specifically to slur us on a bigoted website works to make people… not feel slurred just because some trans women decided to try to ““““reclaim”””” theyfab as their own pet slur for ~certain types of transmascs~?

Like. This isn’t even a word that was made for the purpose of calling out transmisogynists. It was a slur from fucking 4chan made to be transphobic toward transmascs. It isn’t “reclaimable” as a ~cutesy insult~ by people who weren’t even generally the targets of the word.

That’s not what reclaiming even is. You’re just using a slur. Calling someone a “queer” as an insult, even if you yourself are lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and/or any other identity under the rainbow is still slurring them. If you can understand that you can understand how this situation is still slurring.