#you can break the rules that the whole beauty of fan culture. Do what you want

[veludo-rae]

no hate but people who can’t multiship and people who only ship canon are weak xoxo and post

[i-rebelled-for-this]

Agatha all along episode 6 Part one

Familiar by thy side

It was beautiful and honestly answered a lot more questions than I expected it to do.

Seeing Agatha from Teens perspective was hilarious.

Both Williams was handled very beautifully and Joe did a fantastic job!

The chair that resembles a toilet seat at William’s Bar Mitzvah really throws me out of it though. I’ve seen it about six times now and I just can’t with that chair. Who saw that chair and went, yes this is it?!

Billy is going through a blue drapery to get to a mostly red space about his future. I see what you did there.

Also I love the lamp

Lilia herself in gold and blue, no necklace.

Very nice blue and red colours together in Lilia’s tent.

Also notice the tower tarot card, representing Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation and awakening.

And The wheel of fortune card, representing karma, good luck, life cycles, destiny and turning points. Notice that I’m not a that good at tarot so I may get it wrong.

Also more sun symbolism with Lilia

Upside down Billy

Lilia says the tower reverse, a big personal change and transformation coming. Make total sense

Lilia just remembering something, once again, kin implies she exists out of time, what is time for her, how does she experience it, can she affect it?

I yelled when Billy said he loved the vibe in the tent, very early Argento. I had to take a break.

Argento, the director and writer of Suspiria, the witch movie which was the inspiration for episode 4.

This is huge! This indicates that it’s actually Billy that keep the road in movie/tv-themes, not Wanda or any leftover of her spells. Which we also see mote of later in the episode.

Of course, now we have new questions.

Like does he know?! Or is he trying to cope with losses like his mom?

The sigil is interesting, (not just because it’s a beautiful nod as a W or WW) but does it hide Tommy too? Since neither Wanda or Billy can find him. Also notice how later Agatha will say there are two of you, implying the are one or two pieces of a whole.

Why does Lilia want to hide them?

Interesting that the radio air the first episode of WandaVision.

William shouting “mom, look out” as they get in the car crash. Don’t touch me!

And the dome and the dead tree by the car. Beautiful but hurts.

Red glass shards. Once again beautiful but hurts.

Bye Tommy

ALICE! Good to see you darling!

Greg knowing what’s up.

WILLIAM/BILLY’s room!

His signature blue

The movie posters and the actual wizard of oz toys in his bookshelf.

I started writing down all the movie posters but some were obvious or too hard to make out so I let it go.

Eddie being cute.

Freak like momma.

And he taking everything Billy tells him better than I would have.

Nice trans flag.

Now as he have grown up, it’s all horror movies and the occult.

We’re off to my second scream and had to take a break in this episode.

But first, their usernames? lol. They worked hard on those two.

Ralph/Randall/Pietro/Peter (in my culture we have a saying that goes, a loved child has many names.) You are doing great sweetheart!

I gotta admit I thought they were gonna let us wait for VisionQuest to see him again. I’m thrilled!

Not really a fan of the red hair they gave him but, I get it. It matches Wanda

Also, love his stealth, very stealthy.

Nope, sorry Ralphie, can’t call a a kid Bub when you willingly goes online as Bohnerrific69. There are rules. And also made me google that just to get the spelling correctly.

Notice how he talk about Wanda, ge calls it sad but he talks gently about her and the one he is actually actively angry about is Agatha.

Also notice how when Billy asks about if it changed him or if he can do stuff now, he gets very serious for a moment and ask him what he is talking about.

Billy, I need to know if that water actually hurt you.

And never, ever yell Mr. Bonherrific.

I really can’t make out what Ralphie is shaking? First. Thought it was mr Dibbles or hoped. lol

The market value? Hon, she is still in the house! Priorities here.

My sweet baby, but yeah, keeping Monica in the attic was a bit much.

RIP Sparky. It was Ralph all along.

Speedster and mind reading brother. Babies!

Wanda is dead, sure jan.

Not the blu-ray collection!!!

Another movie buff in the Maximoff family. I get emotional writing this.

Agatha can keep his Bow-Flex, thread mills. Funny, not liked he needs it.

Go to his one man show in Paramus please!

Dreadit lol

Down the road baby!

[din-djarins-riduur]

The Book of Boba Fett | Thoughts Pt. VII

————————————

Gif 1 : by @humanveil

Gif 2 : by @trashcora

Gif 3 : by @bobafettdaily

Kandosii ! That was so fun to watch ! It honestly breaks my heart how a lot of people didn’t like this show. Though it did have some flaws, overall, I would say this show is a 9/10. It felt a bit rushed in some moments, but what else could you do with only seven episodes ? I think they did fine with about one hour long episodes. For me at least, we got the perfect amount of fleshing out for Boba’s character and I know that this isn’t the last that we’ll see of him. Him and Din are vode now. Nothing can ever separate that bond. They’re aliit.

I loved this episode. It was full of action and kept you at the edge of your seat. I loved the environment, the sets and the amount of people they actually used to film. They didn’t just stick with Boba’s palace team, but also used civilians and the people of Freetown. I appreciated how much detail went into the costumes, the make up and the overall whole look and atmosphere of Mos Espa. They really brought so much more life to it and for once I don’t see Tatooine as just a sand pit. It has people who love living there and who want to see better things for it. It’s not just a planet for scum and villainy.

I also loved seeing Boba and Din working together. Of course, I’ve never seen them as enemies, but they come from the same culture in a way even if it’s a little different. It’s like a Mexican and a Chicano meeting together, sharing the same culture and beliefs, but also growing up in very different places. (I’m Mexican-American myself so that’s why I used the comparison) It was beautiful seeing them fight together and even helping one another up and shielding the other. As a fan of the Republic Commando books this was also very satisfying to see. In the Clone Wars, we only ever saw the Death Watch. And in Mandalorian we met a cult of Mandalorians with intense beliefs and rules. Here though, we really get to see what Mandalorians are truly about: helping a brother in need and fighting together to protect family and territory. When I saw these two fly in together I couldn’t help but see Walon Vau and Kal Skirata from the Republic Commando series. It was beautiful honestly.

Other parts that I loved :

• The stand off between Cad and Boba was so satisfying. I loved how Boba’s past insecurities showed up for a moment, saying he was no longer a little boy. And I loved how heated he got when Cad insulted Jango. I love that that’s never gone away from his character. Boba loved his father fiercely and protecting his buir’s honor is the most Mandalorian thing I’ve ever seen.

• The reunion between Grogu and Din was honestly the most gut wrenching thing I’ve ever seen. The way Grogu flew into Din’s arms and the way Din struggled to speak and cried made me so happy to see them together. Those two deserve one another and I don’t see it at all as Disney needing Grogu to stay for merchandizing. Mandalorians are a loyal to one another and cherish family and the relationship between Grogu and Din shows that.

• Lastly, I’d like to say the scene with Grogu and the rancor made me tear up. Idk it just made me gush with so much pride seeing how far he’s come, no longer being scared to use the Force. For so long he’s had to hide it, but Luke showed him that it’s okay. Grogu’s confidence in himself with the Force has grown so much and I’m so proud of my little green son. I can’t wait to see him learn more skills in his own time.

Bonus : This scene made me blush HAHA I had to fan myself and take a moment to breathe LMAO HOTTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. GOSH IM SUCH A NERD. ONLY A STAR WARS OBSESSIVE FREAK LIKE ME WOULD FIND THIS TOP TIER MALE ATTRACTION LMAO

Ugh can we please live in a world where men dress like this instead of t-shirts and shorts bahahaha

[psychewritesbs]

Megumi’s FULL name reveals a lot about his character. It captures his kindness, his energy, but also his inner darkness--the kind of darkness that al lot of people in the fandom are speculating will drive him to become a sort of villainous figure in Jujutsu Kaisen.

But, in order to REALLY understand Megumi, you have to understand the basics of how Japanese uses its three alphabets differently from English’s one alphabet. 

Yes, Megumi meaning “blessing” is a huge deal, but I think his last name is just as important.

Here’s why...

TLDR at the end

I can’t really explain who Megumi is without understanding a bit about kanji and how it’s used, so feel free to skim or skip to the end of the essay.

But if you find Japanese culture as a whole fascinating, then read on.

How Written Japanese Uses Kanji

What I’ve come to realize about kanji is that it’s “literally” a symbol meant to represent a concept. For example, 目is the kanji for “eyes” and is meant to symbolize and look like an eye.

But the way Japanese uses kanji gets complicated (at least for me) when a particular kanji can both represent a concept (as in the example above) AND be used to make a specific and completely unrelated syllable.

Like seriously... the fuck.

A notable example can be found in Your Name where Taki writes a note on Mitsuha’s notebook asking her who she is.

Taki uses the kanji 前 which means “previous” but is also associated with the syllable “mae” to say “o+mae”, the informal way of addressing someone. I thought it was a curious detail that Taki does this instead of spelling out “omae” with either katakana (オマエ）like I’ve seen most manga do) or hiragana until I realized it was most likely a deliberate choice on Makoto Shinkai’s behalf. 

Similarly, we already know Megumi’s name means "blessing” because it’s a big part of the plot. Especially in relation to it’s opposite: “noroi” or curse (呪) the anime’s central theme.

With that said, a lot of people are rightfully confused about Megumi’s name because of his resentment towards his father as he mentions in episode 5. 

Is Megumi a girl’s name?

The whole issue with Megumi’s first name is that the kanji for “Megumi” is primarily considered to be a feminine character. From doing some research I  understood that you can have a “Megumi” name for a male but you would use different, more masculine kanji. 

I’m assuming sort of like in the "o+mae” example where you could use kanji that represented the syllables for “Me+Gu+Mi” or any such combination like “megu+mi” and “me+gumi”.

Similarly, you might have noticed that in a lot of anime, characters introduce themselves and sometimes there is mention of the kanji characters used to write their name.

An example of this is the name Shiemi. There are several ways you can combine kanji to spell that name, but one combination uses the kanji for aspire + blessed (which is also Megumi’s kanji character) + beauty (志+惠+美 ). 

Ready to make this more complicated?

You can also spell Shiemi with the kanji for “aspire”, “bloom”, “laugh”, “poetry”, etc.

This is a very creative take on name meanings if you ask me.

In other words, this is how Japanese people give their children “meaningful” names the way in the US someone might name their child “Matthew” because they perceive them to be a “gift of God” (the name’s meaning).

The fact that the kanji 惠 representing the concept for “blessing” was chosen for Megumi Fushiguro’s name, however, speaks a thousand words in much the same way kanji represents concepts. 

The reason Toji did not care about Megumi’s gender when he named the baby he was about to have, was because to Toji, who came from a cursed (呪) life, Megumi, and the life he had with Fushiguro-mama, was the embodiment of a blessing (惠) . 

To be honest, however, it is his last name that I am most interested in breaking down. That one doesn’t get as much attention and I think is just as important for his character.

The reason being is that I suspect it is Megumi’s last name which embodies the reason why Sukuna is so fixated and fascinated with Megumi.

Fushiguro and the darkness within

I believe it is in an interview or perhaps the fan book that Gege Akutami talks about Itadori, Kugisaki and Fushiguro all being plant names. 

That being said, yes, Fushiguro is a tiny wild flower endemic to Japan.

But as with the naming convention rules I shared above, the story the kanji in his last name tell goes beyond the flower symbolism. In fact, I believe the name of the flower is not spelled using these kanji (but I could be wrong).

TLDR...

Fushiguro is made up of two kanji. 

“Fushi” (伏), which means to bend or bow down + “guro” (黒), which means black. However, it is safe to say that this last kanji can also mean “darkness” since it is used in that word as well.

Taken literally then, I am assuming Megumi’s last name to mean “bow down darkness”.

Bow down + Darkness + Blessing.

Symbolically speaking, you could say that his last name is sort of paying homage to the darkness within. Ironically, his first name is such a beautiful homage to receiving gifts for which we feel grateful. This is consistent with how Megumi sees the world in black and white terms sometimes.

And if you really think about it, Fushiguro is also a clever play on words for his cursed technique being shadow based.

But more importantly, his last name reminds me of Megumi going feral while fighting the Yasohachi cursed spirit. 

I think one of the reasons feral Megumi is so popular is because he took us by surprise. His character trope is the cool and collected deuteragonist after all.

I’m not sure anyone imagined that he was repressing such a blood thirsty...

manipulative...

sadistic beast within.

It makes me wonder whether it is a matter of time before Megumi gives himself over to all of his inner darkness, bitterness and resentment (cursed energy). 

And perhaps that is exactly what Sukuna sees in him. Throughout the manga there is quite a bit of mirroring happening between Megumi and Sukuna (example). 

Personally, I am wondering whether Sukuna sees a younger version of himself in Megumi and that is why he is so interested in both keeping him alive, and his growth as a sorcerer.

So, what do you think? Lots of theories about the Sukuna x Megumi dynamic, so I am always curious to hear what other people have to say.

As for me... I have to go adult. 

[aynanasstuff]

Sam Wilson x Desi!Reader HCs

masterlist

Introducing him to indian movies is a BLAST. At first he's fascinated because there's just so much happening- the dialogue, the breaking into dance and song, the location changes. But then he's fascinated because of how intertwined the culture is in the movies. He'll ask questions about little cultural things that he doesn't quite get and you're more than happy to answer. You also might catch him humming the tunes to some songs.

When you guys visit India, you're taking rickshaws. Driving in India is just a whole other thing, there are no traffic rules- just mutual understanding. So Sam just kinda stares at you when your rickshaw swerves sharply to overtake a lorry and you shrug because hey, that's just how it works here. Maybe he should hire a auto wala bhaiya if he ever needs a getaway driver for his missions.

We can't not talk about local trains. He is absolutely dumbfounded at the trains. To travel in local trains in an extreme sport and his respect for you reaches the skies when you get in these trains. Not only do you get in the train but you also make way for him to get in the train. He's also seen you be absolutely ruthless trying to get a seat. Scary shit.

He loves hearing you speak in various languages. Of course, Sam's heard you speak in your mother tongue over the phone with your family a couple of times but when you get to speak it all the time, he gets to see you bloom. There's this spark in you when you speak in the tongue that your family nurtured you in. He wishes he knew how to speak the language so he could know you to the fullest. He also secretly tries to learn so he can surprise you one day.

The food is his favorite, no surprise there. The culture around food is what makes it comforting for him. The whole family eats together at least once, no matter what. These are recipes passed down from generations to generations and the respect that food is treated with is beautiful. He feels like he's back in Louisiana sometimes because like back there, food is a celebration here as well- it's a gathering.

I absolutely headcanon him as loving champis. You may be getting one by your grandma and you're just moaning as the stress leaves your body and Sam is just standing there like it can't be that good. Oh, it is that good and you show it to him. You take the coconut oil and fucking go to town on his head. He's the most relaxed he's ever been after these champis.

With the champis come the oil baths that you religiously do every Sunday. You're lathering your body in sesame oil and massaging it in- it's like a ritual, a sensual treat for your body after a long hard week. Thank your grandma for literally drilling this into your brain with promises of eternal youth but hey, you can't complain. Needless to say, he becomes a fan of these, especially if you're the one lathering him up in oil.

He loves when you dress up in ethnic clothes. There's this royal flair to them- the clothes, the jewelry, the makeup, it can make anyone look ethereal but you? He's a goner for you, he would literally be ready to worship the ground you stand on.

You love showing him places around your hometown- your school, the place you went to worship (more like your family dragged you to), your tuition classes, your favorite vada pav wala bhaiya, your bhaji wali aunty- there's so much of you here and he loves getting to see it.

Everytime you guys go to India, Sam learns a favourite recipe of yours from your family so he can make it for you at home. He doesn't tell you this until he makes it for you and feeds you and he's found yet another way to make you stay in love with him. That beautiful, beautiful man.

_____________________________________________

A/n: Hey y'all! I hope you liked this one! What are some of your Sam HCs? I'd love to hear them. Please reblog, comment, like, it keeps me going. Love y'all <333

Tags: @withyoutilltheendoftheline @lil-stark @turbolisedcomet @janetsnakehole02 @commonintrest @blueberrynonnie <3

[stormblessed95]

You know how it feels to be called crazy by people who whip out the "they're brothers!!! shippers are all sick!!" argument every time you see clearly that Jikook are in a completely different league and don't behave like bros at all? That's how I feel this month on Jikook blogs,and it's twice as painful because these are supposed to be my people. During the Butter promotions,there was a time when Jimin and Jungkook weren't interacting almost at all. That's the reality. I'm not saying they are-

-over. I literally have no idea what happens to them behind the scenes,same as every other fan. If they are together,I don't want them to ever break up,because I love them both and their relationship is one of the healthiest and most loving I have ever seen. But I am sick of the fact that anywhere you go in this fandom,sooner or later you'll get called crazy or told you're not a real fan for noticing something negative. Couples fight sometimes. Coworkers disagree. Friends fight. If Jikook are all three,it's impossible for them to *never* fight. We pride ourselves of having our eyes open,but whenever someone voices a BTS or Jikook related worry,we just try to make each other shut up. I don't want all my interactions with other Jikook supporters to be ruled by the fear of potentially enabling toxic Tkk. Doesn't doubling down and pretending everything is always fine with BTS,all the time,and they never unhappy or have conflicts,make me as delusional as those tkk?

Look, im not quite sure what you are looking for here. A safe place to say that KM fight? Yes, they do. I've posted about their 2 big fights we know about already and it would be stupid to say there haven't been probably a million more that we don't and won't ever know about. Fighting isn't always a bad thing in relationships and even just friendships. Fighting is a way of communicating. As long as it is done while maintaining mutual respect and boundaries obviously. Yes, Jimin and Jungkook, no matter what their relationship is to each other have, and probably will continue to fight over things. I got into it with my husband just last month and can tell you that even as I was super pissy, I was also still insanely in love with him. Fights happen, fights are normal, fights are healthy even. I'm positive that they fight.

Do I think that they haven't been interacting during Butter promotions? Um, no. I very much so disagree with you. But that is the beauty of being human. We are all allowed different opinions and we all see things differently. I am also going to ask you to remove the collective "we" from your statement though. I have never tried to make everyone see things the way that I see them. I state my opinions and you all can do with that whatever you want to do with it. And goodness, saying that I (or anyone else) disagrees about their being a lack of interaction is NOT the same thing as doubling down and pretending everything is fine when it isn't. That's slightly offensive honestly. I DO pride myself on trying to maintain a more objective stance on "shipping" culture. I don't wear blinders and only see whatever I want to see. I just also simply am not seeing where you or any potential others are seeing the problem here.

I also want you to take a minute and keep in mind how released content works. We are STILL getting behind the scenes content from Dynamite era that we had never seen before. I remember Jkkrs complaining about a lack of KM content during the making video for Dynamite, and then just a few months ago (almost 7 months later) we got Bangtan Bombs of jikook stuck to each other like glue during the whole thing over and over again. Plus we are STILL in the middle of Butter promotions. We are STILL getting content being released from that. The moments released today of Jikook holding hands during the Xylitol commercial? Yeah, that was filmed during the same time as the start of Butter promotions. The jacket shooting sketch behind? Filmed during Butter promotion time. All that Jungkook purple hair content? Filmed months ago during Butter promotions time. And it's still on going. They've moved on to performances and Big hit is still slowly giving out content to keep the bread coming in for Butter. We literally have probably only seen half the content for Butter so far. PLUS we will probably be getting Bangtan Bombs from the Butter era well into 2022. We aren't getting many live streams, everything is prerecorded and pre-planned. Not much room for behind the scenes silliness that we get to see. But when we DO see it, we see them together in the background. Lee Hyun's video? That was taken right before American interviews for Butter, so during Butter promotions. People had been saying they weren't interacting during interviews, but behind the scenes, you had them walking around clingy and singing together.... even just today, they released more short clips of all 7 guys for Butter promotions. We are STILL getting content for it.

And just because I personally like visuals to go with my posts, here is just some of Jikook from a wide range of time, but all during "Butter" era. We have the Butter press conference photos, the cuddled up together pose, and looking at each other while everyone else looked at the camera with their pretend buttered bread.

We have the Butter Vlive where they giggled together often and even waved to each other through the screens watching the vlive and smiling together

We have all this from June, Festa and Muster, Butter is still technically being promoted during this time, the song had very recently just been released, sooo do these interactions just not count since it's not promotional material?

From behind the scenes getting ready for interviews to promote Butter in America

From the recent Run episodes, but filmed back during when Butter was being filmed

During the Jacket shooting sketch for Butter:

Filmed around the same time as all the Butter stuff, released very recently, Xylitol behind the scenes holding hands

And also very recently, not technically a Butter promotion, but PTD is included in the whole Butter CD and era I feel like, their reaction to PTD, very cute and happy together.

Now I don't know if there are particular moments you are speaking of, but I wouldn't automatically assume they are fighting or not interacting or something is wrong, because again, we probably won't even get all the content they plan to give us about this era until next year. And you could be all worried about them not looking at each other during xyz video, only to get a behind bangtan bomb in a year showing them giggling together over Tae breaking a pair of sunglasses or something equally silly. Or of them curled up on the couch taking a nap together.

Am I trying to tell you that you are crazy or incorrect? No. I'm simply telling you that I disagree. And that is allowed. You also aren't allowed to tell me that I'm being delusional for thinking everything between them is just fine. You ARE allowed to disagree with me. That's just fine, that is human nature. "We" as jikookers do not have to agree on everything all the time. That would honestly be weird. In fact, I'm not even here to change your mind. I'm just simply.... disagreeing. I have seen plenty of interaction through the entire year, they seem fine and happy and content in the content I have seen of them so far. I think its fine.

Do I think they have probably had some arguments this year? Sure, we are 7 months in. It would be totally normal if they showed up to film something and were slightly annoyed with each other over a petty argument of someone not doing the dishes last night, or leaving their shoes out and the other tripping over them. Anything at all! Where maybe they don't get all flirty that day, but ultimately they are fine, go home. Do the dishes, apologize for being petty and move on happily. It's also important to remember that long term relationships are more settled, they don't HAVE to be flirty and on top of each other 24/7. Lol I haven't seen anything that seems like they are "off" or ignoring each other purposefully or having a serious disagreement over something this year at all. But that's just me.

Sorry, I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's how I feel. If you are feeling distressed, it's okay to take a step back from KM blogs or stan Twitter and just focus on how you see things and how you feel about it. Or simply just focus on the music? Do what is best for you, in the end. Hopefully you are okay with I guess simply agreeing to disagree over this one. I do truly hope you have a good day 💜

[trash-gobby]

✨ NSFW = 🔞

✨ Dating = 💕

✨ General = 👋

✨ Fluff = 🐶

Can you do philip k decker x person of color or plus size? All prompts

Im a big fan of clive barker. Love your ✍

Dr. Decker X POC Plus Size!Reader Headcanons

Pairings: Philip K. Decker X POC Plus Size!Reader

Characters: Philip K. Decker, Reader

A/N: Sorry this took so long!! Been overwhelmed w/ requests, but I’m finally getting this one done. I wasn't 100% sure if you were looking for a mini-fic or headcanons, so I went with headcanons on this one.

Citrus Scale: 🍋

RATING: R

⚠️This is an 18+ post because of the NSFW!!! That means I DON’T encourage anyone who interacts with NSFW content who is underage. I’ve talked to other people who’ve been long time content creators and users of this website and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not your parent and can’t control what content you consume. IF YOU SAY YOUR UNDERAGE IN YOUR PROFILE OR HAVE AN AGE UNDER 18 I WILL BLOCK YOU! Just consume responsibly, and know your limits. And If your a minor please DNI

Detailed warnings under the cut

Warnings!: blood, murder, mention of child death/murder, violence, knife kink, mask kink, blood kink, orgasm denial, bondage

✨Most likely you and Decker met because you were one of his patients.

✨Pretty rigid about the rule of not seeing patients outside of work, but something about you just draws him in.

✨Will try to resist breaking his code, but eventually as he gets to know you better, he'll suggest possibly seeing another psychiatrist.

✨Decker then will take it upon himself to ask you out to dinner or lunch.

✨He's a pretty great cook and will be all into the whole candle-lit dinner and mood music.

✨When you first start spending time together, Decker will be pretty standoffish. He's a pretty personal guy and doesn't like the idea of people knowing to much about him all at once.

✨Once you really start to bond with him he'll really get attached to you, as I believe he's pretty starved for deep emotional connections.

✨I headcanon that he was a chubby kid growing up, so being plus size is something he thinks is just and beautiful as any other body type.

✨Has zero tolerance for people who may be disrespectful towards you due to your weight or status as a POC person.

✨Although he comes off as pretty cold on the outside, he is very supportive and protective of your mental health.

✨Doesn't really celebrate holidays, but will with you if they mean something to you.

✨Can be a bit of a dick about religious practices and seem like one of those r/Atheist subreddit douches, but if you have a particular religious practice that matters to you culturally or otherwise, he'll tone that shit down.

✨If there are any dishes or stuff that is specific to your cultural background, he's gonna be super into learning and mastering cooking those dishes. He's a perfectionist and loves learning new things from you.

✨Thinks you look great in anything you wear, even if your not 100% confident, he'll love your fashion looks anyway.

✨Doesn't really understand subcultures (i.e. punk, goth, hipster, preppy). He's a simple man and finds that stuff strange, but he will find it charming once you explain to him, though he's still probably not gonna understand.

✨Absolutely DOES NOT want kids and has no interest in starting a family at all.

✨Decker is a family annihilator after all and thinks the existence of the nuclear family is a blight on society.

✨So if you're together kids are off the table.

✨He'll keep his life as a serial family annihilator separate from his relationship with you for as long as possible.

✨However, once Decker's revealed as Button Face to you, if you stay with him he'll basically be in love

✨No more secrets are being kept between you, so he's gonna be all in.

✨When your at a level in your relationship where you either living together or sleep over (wink-wonk 😉) at each others places, he's probably gonna find it really relaxing to fall asleep with his head in your lap more than once.

✨Likes when you read to him, and finds your voice soothing to listen to after a stressful day at work.

✨Decker is pretty traditional in his romance style but when it comes to the bedroom he's anything but vanilla.

✨A complete dom and won't be a sub at all. The mere suggestion is a pretty big turnoff for him.

✨Has a massive knife kink. Likes watching your body as he runs his knife along your curves, just lightly enough for you to feel the kiss of steel.

✨Likes knowing that your life is in his hands, and loves the idea of having a knife up to your neck while he takes you from behind.

✨Into giving little nicks in your skin, enough to draw blood, but not so deep as to cause a lot of damage.

✨Have a mask kink? Good, cause Decker is gonna want to wear the Ol' Button Face mask when he fucks you.

✨It makes him feel really aroused wearing it, especially when he's got you tied up or under him and he's in complete control.

✨He's really into working you to the edge with his fingers and then stopping right before you reach orgasm, leaving you begging and mewling for him to let you come.

✨He likes denying release and having you on the edge for hours. Sometimes he’ll just leave you to go off and do his thing (whether that's work or murder) knowing that you'll be hot, bothered and frustrated when he gets back.

[twstedbeauty]

Just found your blog, and I love it! May i ask for headcannons of Riddle, Vil, Malleus and Idia watching their designated Disney movie with their s/o?(akin Vil, Snow White, Riddle Alice in Wonderland, Malleus, sleeping beauty)

I’m going to assume that they would have the movies in this world since they canonly have The Little Mermaid adaksdjaksdjas

Riddle Rosehearts 

Riddle is still getting used to relaxing and having fun, so watching movies is still rather new to him. 

He sits rather stiffly on the couch at first, not really sure how he should sit, but he’ll slowly relax once you join him. 

 On the whole, I think Riddle would actually really enjoy Alice in Wonderland. It’s very colorful and whimsical and there’s something about it that gives him an almost nostalgic feeling. 

He’d appreciate Alice as a protagonist, but I do think he’d find her a little annoying with how she thinks and does things at times. 

“Who in their right mind just chases after a rabbit into a hole in the ground?” You hear him mutter and you can’t help but smile to yourself. 

The Cheshire Cat immediately reminds him of Che’nya. 

Riddle is immediately impressed by the Queen of Hearts entrance. She comes on screen and has this air of intimidation and power. 

He points out some parts of the movie that reflect real life Heartslabyul rules! Like the rule about painting the roses, the rule about no cats at parties.

I think the part with the court scene he would find a little silly and quite exaggerated, however. 

"So, it was all just a dream?" Riddle watched the credits roll with a rather confused look. "That wasn't satisfying at all!" You couldn't help but giggle at that.

"It's explained at the beginning! She wanted a world of her own, so she made one up herself~" Riddle just blinks owlishly at you at that, which just makes you laugh again.

He'll have to go and have some time to himself, probably having a mental crisis over what is real and what isn't.

Vil Schoenheit 

Vil loves watching movies, so when you suggest watching a movie from your world, of course he’s all for it. 

Knowing him, he’s no doubt seen the movie already, but he’s not opposed to watching it with you. 

The Beautiful Queen summoning the spirit of the Dark Mirror scene makes a proud smirk come to Vil's face. He can't help but feel a bit of pride for his dorm watching it.

But immediately after, when Snow White comes on screen, his face drops into a scowl and he rolls his eyes.

Right off the bat, he comments about how annoying Snow White is. 

“I just don’t understand why they gave her such a grating voice...” He grumbles, shaking his head. “It’s so irritating.” 

Vil would point out how Snow White's dress and makeup, along with the Beautiful Queen's, is a reflection of the fashion from the period when the movie was made. (And if you pointed it out to him first, he'd be VERY pleased and impressed with you~)

"Oh, so THAT'S why they gave the Beautiful Queen pencil thin eyebrows?" You teased and Vil shoots you an unamused look.

"Of course. She's a product of her time, a staple for beauty and fashion from that era."

The dwarves do amuse him when they come on screen. He'd never tell you, but Dopey is his favorite.

He voices his admiration during the Queen's transformation scene.

"The lengths that she was willing to go is truly admirable..." He watches as she dips the apple into the poison. "But even the greats are capable of making mistakes. She should have ensured that Snow White could never be revived from the sleeping death."

He doesn't have much to say towards the ending, but he does look a little put out by Snow White being revived and getting a happily ever after.

"Such is the fate of villains..." He sighs. "Destined to die in the shadows while the heroes get their happy endings."

"Or is this case, getting struck by lightning and falling off a cliff." You remarked, grinning at the deadpan expression he gives you in response.

His rating for the movie is 9/10. The only reason it's not 10/10 is because of Snow White and the ending.

Idia Shroud 

(I apologize in advance, Idia is one of the characters I'm still trying to get a handle on writing ;v;)

I feel like Idia and Ortho watched the Hercules movie as children and it was Ortho's favorite movie.

So watching it again with you was something nostalgic for him, even if he remarks on it being a kids movie. (You can argue that some of the anime he watches is also for kids, but that will upset him and he'll go sulk under his covers and you'll never finish the movie.)

"Uwehehehe...what a clumsy idiot." He's got that sharp smile on his face as he watches Hercules swing the column around and basically destroy his entire village.

Honestly, he's not really interested in Hercules' tale and he's not really a fan of musicals. The only parts that interest him are when Hades comes on screen.

The only commentary that he gives is to make fun of Hercules.

"It's not possible for people to get THAT muscular in such a little amount of time..." He mutters as he watches the training montage with a bored expression. "It's not scientifically possible." You shrug in response.

"He's part god, so maybe that's part of it?" Idia just snickers with a sharp smile.

"He looks like a car test dummy in a toga."

Idia admires how confident Hades is and how fast he can negotiate things. I think he secretly wishes he had that confidence too.

How does he feel about Megara? Mmmm, I don't think he's interested in her character either. She's the main hero's girlfriend and a pawn to Hades, that's it.

If Ortho is watching with you guys, he's really the only one that enjoys it besides you. Idia goes right back to what he was doing before you suggested watching the movie as soon as the credits roll.

Malleus Draconia

Of course, Malleus knew that there was a movie made about the Thorn Witch. He and Lilia showed it to Silver and Sebek when they were children. (Lilia had thought it would be good for them to learn the history behind the tale!) So when you bring up watching it with him, of course he wants to. He loves spending time with you and the fact you want to learn a bit about his culture warms his heart.

He does like the aesthetic of this movie. He finds the music and the hand-painted backgrounds to be charming.

He can't say he understands how animation works, but it's nice to look at nonetheless.

Malleus likes the three good fairies. He finds their antics and the way Flora and Merryweather butt heads to be rather amusing.

"You know, I've always wondered what the third gift would have been if the Witch of Thorns hadn't come in when she did," He muses as Maleficent makes her entrance. You hum in thought.

"Some people theorize it would have been eternal happiness." You look over at him with a slight smile. "You know....never needing to feel blue?" That makes him chuckle.

"Eternal happines....Yes, I quite like that idea for a gift."

If you remark on Maleficent being petty for cursing an infant, Malleus is going to pout.

"Well, quite frankly, I understand how she feels. It's rather hurtful not being invited to events." You look over at him and raise an eyebrow.

"Fine! Then curse the people who didn't invite you. Don't curse the infant child who had nothing to do with whether or not she was invited." Malleus just hurumphs and crosses his arms.

"In a roundabout way, the king and queen DID suffer for their actions. Having their baby cursed to die." A slight smirk breaks across his face. "I'm sure they'll think twice next time."

He doesn't say it, but he quite likes Aurora as a character and he loves the sound of her singing. He finds it very enchanting and relaxing to listen to.

Flora and Merryweather fighting over the dress color reminds him a lot of Silver and Sebek. Fauna's baking strongly reminds him of Lilia's cooking.

During the part where Aurora is being hypnotized, you suddenly gasping and clamping your hand on his arm startles Malleus. "OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED THAT THE CREEPY NOISE IS ACTUALLY SAYING HER NAME."

You both pause and listen again as the eerie note that played in between the music stings creepily called "Auuuroooraaa~" in a beckoning manner. Malleus blinked in surprise.

"Oh my. That would explain her expression as she walks up the stairs." He mused, putting a finger to his chin. "How clever. I've watched this film plenty of times and I never noticed that."

The part where Maleficent casts the thorns around Stephen's castle and turns into a dragon are Malleus' favorite parts.

"None of the other members of the Great Seven can do what she can do." He says with a prideful smirk. "She is truly supreme in her ranking."

Watching Maleficent back Prince Phillip onto a cliff and trap him with no protection is VERY satisfying for Malleus. But once the fairies bless the Sword of Truth, he pouts again.

"If it weren't for them, he wouldn't have been able to defeat her." He says. "It wasn't a fair fight." You raise an eyebrow at him at that.

"She turned into a huge, fire-breathing dragon. You call THAT fair?" His little pout in response just makes you laugh.

Overall, Malleus enjoys watching the movie with you and he'll gladly watch it with you again whenever you want to.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 62, Dec 2016 - Retouched/Photoshopped images in magazines, Musician arrested for drug use a second time.

Kaoru starts this time by asking Joe whether he made it to the recent live at Namba Hatch, which he had planned to attend. Joe says he really wanted to go, but due to work, he was unable to make it.

Kaoru then says they have had a lot of emails from listeners asking if there will be another New Year special. Kaoru says there has been some talk about it, but no actual decisions have been made. He then reads out an email from a listener who has a suggestion for the new year special. The idea is that Kaoru-santa could sign lots of stickers and give them out to listeners as presents. Another email asks Kaoru and Joe to think of their own 'Kanji of the year', based on the fact that at lot of unexpected things happened in 2016 (Brexit, Trump, Koike election (First female Tokyo Governor) etc. The listener suggests the kanjis 変(strange), 外(outside/other), or 揺(shake). Kaoru says his personal kanji of the year would be 旅(tabi/travel), because he has travelled a lot on tours. Joe said he woud also choose something like 変, or maybe 壊(break), because it seemed as if the global establishment was starting to break down in 2016. Kaoru says he will send a sticker to both listeners.

Kaoru's first news is about rules recently imposed in France that retouched photos in magazines must be labelled as retouched. This is to combat unhealthy body images and protect models health, hoping to prevent them from developing eating disorders. Joe has experience with this issue, working for the magazine Rolling Stone, and says they do also touch up the photos they publish, especially photos of models. There are specialist people hired to do the work of editing dark under-eye areas and rough skin etc these days. Joe admits that there will be some readers who see the images and feel a desire to emulate these impossible standards, but on the other hand, the job of a model is too look good so they can sell stuff, which makes it quite a difficult issue. Kaoru thinks peope will still retouch images, even if there are regulations against it. He says that he doesn't really mind if  dark eye circles or skin imperfections are edited out of fashion magazines, because its the clothes that are the focus, but editing the body shape is problematic because that totally alters how the clothes actually look. He doesn't really understand how the regulations will benefit the health of models. Joe finds it problematic that everyone is set on following western standards of beauty. In reality, each culture has its own unique type of beauty, which should be cherished more. If a culture strives to meet western standards too much, it  may lead to the original culture being broken down. Kaoru comments that no matter how hard they try, Japanese will never look like Westerners. There may be some who have that kind of shape, but on the whole, most do not (*i.e. 'its better to embrace you natural attributes' kinda-thing*).

Next, they welcome Dobashi for the Tokyo Sports corner. Dobashi's news this time is that the musician Aska of 'Chage and Aska' has been arrested for drug use yet again. According to reports, he apparently called the police to his house because he believed someone was spying on him. The police arrived and found him acting strangely (he apparently also told police there were hands coming out of his computer screen), so they asked him for a urine sample, which tested positive for drugs. At the time of recording this show, the case was still ongoing, but Aksa himself had 100% denied these reports. He even wrote on his blog that he is 100% innocent, which is quite unusual for a celeb who has been arrested for drug use. Joe wonders why Aska would go out of his way to call the police to his house. Dobashi says that according to experts, paranoia of being spied on is a common symptom of drug use. In the past it would be paranoia about being followed  etc, but now its paranoia about being spied on though apps/smart devices. Joe comments that delusions have even become computerised. Dobashi thinks that if Aska was suffering from drug induced paranoia, then its probably a good thing that he was caught at this early stage, before his condition deteriorated to rock bottom. This whole incident was quite unexpected, him having just made an album, and behaving quite normally otherwise. His fans are divided over the issue, some sickened by him, and some believing he is innocent. Kaoru says he is quite interested in hearing what Aska's new album will be like now. Dobashi tells the others it has been said that Aska went ahead and wrote a Tokyo Olympics theme song of his own accord. At least it shows he was forward thinking. The conversation trails off, and Dobashi asks what they should do next. Kaoru tells him to please not start taking the convo in a weird direction again, like he did that last few times.

To finish the show, Kaoru plugs his upcoming tours, and brings up the Omoraat idea from a previous show. The request was to for people to send in funny 'pun' photos, but they havn't recieved a single one! Based on this, Kaoru says he is ending the campaign. Joe comments that they themselves didn't even do an example photo to show people, so its no suprise really. They do however, say that the Instagram campaign is still on the go, and ask for more photos.

Songs - Dir en grey/Embyo, Pantera/A New Level, Dir en grey/Bottom of the Death Valley.

To radio top

[shifuaang]

Just wanted to say it’s nice to see someone agree Aangs parenting in LOK is grossly out of character. I keep seeing people contort the situation into pretzels to make it work. It comes close to ruining the franchise for me

I almost have to divorce LOK from ATLA in order to enjoy it, which is really kind of sad considering how it's so integrally connected to its source material and yet seems to mishandle said source material at every opportunity.

LOK recycles the same familial conflicts as ATLA. Both Aang and Toph are painted as bad parental figures, which seems like a complete character assassination of the two of them as well as of Katara who was married to Aang and seemingly allowed him to mistreat Kya and Bumi. I wrote a much more in-depth meta on this narrative choice and how it contradicts the character strengths and flaws that were given to Aang in ATLA here if you’re interested. 

Basically, I think it’s very unlike Aang to show favoritism to his airbending son when he sees firsthand how badly favoritism affects both Zuko and Azula. Aang is shown to be extremely excited about sharing his culture with Katara and Sokka and is more inclusive than anyone else in the Gaang. I love Aang because he is human and has many flaws, but to make him a bad father taints his legacy, is lazy writing, and almost ruins the series for me as well. Forgive me for going on a rant, but I’ve wanted to talk about my grievances with LOK for a while, and your ask inspired me to make a list soooo away we go:

I hate that the rules of bloodbending are retconned to create the conflict in season one - it diminishes the Avatar's ability to energybend and take away bending as a means of justice (specifically Aang who had to defy all of his friends and the rules of the world in order to defeat Ozai without compromising his culture and morals). Why can Noatak and Tarrlok bloodbend when it's not a full moon? Just because they will themselves into doing so? If this is true, surely Hama would have figured out how to utilize this technique as she was also abused and had just as much motivation as the two brothers to be a survivalist and hone her powers.

The Harmonic Convergence allows airbending to come back too quickly. It all feels too neat and tidy. While I absolutely adore the restoration of air nomad culture and watching that come to life, it's not enough of a slow burn for me. I feel that it lessened the extraordinary pain that Aang experienced being the last of his people. If they're going to go the route of the lion turtle being the one to bestow bending (which I don't like, but we'll get there), why not include a plot where the Air Acolytes go on a quest (led by the Avatar who is the bridge between the spirit and physical world) to find him and have him grant them airbending? That would have been far more interesting to me than the spirit world conveniently opening up and restoring balance.

The whole concept of the lion turtle being the bestower of all bending leans far too much into the Western-centric idea of some kind of monotheistic creator. I was happy to accept the existence of benders, non-benders, and the Avatar without there being any sort of long-winded explanation for why they came to be. Sometimes when shows try too hard to give mystical elements backstory and lore, it takes away from the intrigue and magic behind everything. LOK in general is far more Western-centric than ATLA. The spirits of Raava and Vaatu aren't necessarily a bad addition, but they are written as completely black and white. The dichotomy of good vs. evil doesn't exist in ATLA - even Ozai's life is given intrinsic value and careful consideration despite the fact that he is, by all accounts, an irredeemable dictator. Tui and La, push and pull, lend themselves to a far more complex and morally grey narrative. 

With LOK moving in a more Western direction comes a blatant lack of respect for Asian cultures, particularly Buddhist culture. Nothing is as well-researched or planned as ATLA's plot and cultural references. From fartbending to straying from Eastern themes and spirituality, it all just feels very juvenile, which is ironic considering LOK was meant to appeal to an older audience. 

While I almost loathe to say this because Zaheer is such a well-written character and intriguing in ways that even ATLA's villains aren't, his achieving enlightenment and learning to fly is a slap in the face to true morality, concentration, and wisdom, which are the main pillars of Buddhist thought and training. You're meaning to tell me that Aang had to struggle with opening seven chakras, letting go of earthly attachments, and literally dying and being resurrected in order to go into the Avatar State, but all Zaheer had to do to achieve what only one other airbender has achieved is watch P'li die? He got to unlock a previously insurmountable airbending technique after breaking every moral airbending code, including taking life with his bending? I'm not buying it. 

On a similar note, the way cultural appropriation is glossed over in LOK is also incredibly inappropriate. LOK has a real opportunity to explore racism, blackface/brownface, and the sexualization of ‘exotic’ characters in Old Hollywood when Bolin is cast as Nuktuk, but his role in the films just becomes a running gag. It shouldn't sit right with anyone that someone who is half Fire Nation is playing a waterbending hero only about 50 years after the hundred year war in which the Fire Nation almost eradicated waterbenders.

The relationships are not very well-written. Love triangles are a terrible plot device, and Bolin's abusive relationship with Eska is played for laughs. I don't like Korra being cut off from her past lives in what feels like some desperate sort of ploy to get the fans to break ties from the old characters and only care about the new ones. The copaganda is gross, and Toph becoming a cop makes very little sense to me. The plot can be messy and contrived, and the pacing isn't great.

So you're probably wondering, why do you even watch LOK? It sounds like you hate it. I truly don't. The animation is beautiful, the fight sequences are amazingly choreographed, and I really enjoy some of the new characters like Asami, Tenzin, and Jinora. I think LOK is a good, solid show on its own, but it's impossible to hold a candle to its near flawless predecessor. 

[qqueenofhades]

I really don’t want to start a discourse™, but I want you to know that I really appreciate how you write joe and Nicky in deo volente. So many of the fics I’ve read have placed yusef in the role of more sexually experienced and less devoted to god, while Nicky is depicted as an inexperienced and virginal priest/knight/monk and so forth and so on. Your narrative of joe out there rescuing people and being faithful, while Nicky looks back on his life of gambling and pleasures of the flesh ...(1/?)

Not to say that there’s anything wrong with either, obviously. I love guilty priest Nicky and repressed Nicky and p much every Nicky. But in the vast array of fics out there, it’s rare to see the opposite. Not that you’re working in a binary morally good/religious vs. not way. Your writing in the fic is really subtle and and your characterizations reveal a lot of depth. I just think it’s cool to see Nicky, average second son of a duke, drinking and gambling and feeling terribly guilty (2/?)

Guilty about the crusades and the fucking horror of crusade 1 without being excessively devout. Just an average dude. Not some paragon of virtue (btw, I’m on chapter 2 of the fic, so I don’t know how much your characterization changes moving forward. You have a lovely ability to combine your incredible knowledge of history, your beautiful writing, and these intimate details of the characters that make them fit— fit the canon and fit the history. (3/? Shit I’m sorry this had gotten way too long)

I enjoy the way you’ve really inserted us into the quotidian aspect of history. Aaaaaanyway— the discourse that I was afraid of: I think that a lot of fans of the movie that are generating fan content (tysfm to all of you beauties, btw 🙏🙏♥️) are westerners (which is a whole nother kettle of fish) and that carries a sort of ignorance about the Muslim world in the Middle Ages and this desire to simplify Europe as “Christian” “fighters for faith” etc. (4/? Fuuuuck. One(??) more)

And when we do that, we end up as characterizing the brown people as “not that”. The thing I love about this fandom is that people are definitely down on the crusades. I feel like all the fic I’ve read has been particularly negative about those wars, but the thing I love about your fic is that you don’t just say war is bad because people died and it was despicable and this pious white dude says so and this one brown person agrees. (5/6, I see the end in sight I swear it)

Instead you give us a larger cast of Muslims and Arabs and really flesh them out and give them opinions and different interpretations of faith, and I really appreciate that. The crusades were terrible, and we know this because these regular dudes who struggle with their different faiths and lives say so. And I just. I think that’s really great. Also, I fucking love yusef’s mom. I feel like more people would be accepting of the gift in this fashion and I think she’s lovely and (god damn it 6/7)

Aaaaaaaand. The bit where yusef returns and she’s already gone breaks my fucking heart. Also the moment where he’s like “I’m not sure about Abraham’s god, but my mothers god is worth my faith”?? Just really fucking great. So. Excellent fic. Excellent characters. Excellent not-being-accidentally-biased-towards-white-Christians. That is what I came here to say. Thank you so much for your amazing stories. I love them and I love history. Sorry about the rambling. idek how I wrote so much. (7/7)

Epilogue: tl;dr: you’re great.

Oh man! What a huge and thoughtful comment (which will in turn provoke a long-ass response from me, so…) I absolutely agree that no matter what fandom, I don’t do Discourse TM; I just sit in my bubble and stay in my lane and do my own thing and create content I enjoy. And I don’t even think this is that so much as just… general commentary on character and background? So obviously all of this should be read as my own personal experience and choices in writing DVLA, and that alone. I really appreciate you for saying that you love a wide range of fan creators/fanworks and you’re not placing one over another, you understand that fans have diverse ranges of backgrounds/experience with history and other cultures when they create content, and that’s not the same for everyone. So I just think that’s a great and respectful way to start things off.

First, as a professional historian who has written a literal PhD thesis on the crusades, I absolutely understand that many people (and regular fans) will not have the same privilege/education/perspective that I do, and that’s fine! They should not be expected to get multiple advanced degrees to enjoy a Netflix movie! But since I DO have that background, and since I’ve been working on the intellectual genealogy of the crusades (and the associated Christian/Muslim component, whether racially or religiously) since I was a master’s student, I have a lot of academic training and personal feelings that inform how I write these characters. Aside from my research on all this, my sister lives in an Islamic country and her boyfriend is a Muslim man; I’ve known a lot of Muslims and Middle Easterners; and especially with the current political climate of Islamophobia and the reckoning with racism whether in reality or fandom, I have been thinking about all this a lot, and my impact on such.

Basically: I love Nicky dearly, but I ADORE Joe, and as such, I’m protective of him and certainly very mindful of how I write him. Especially when the obvious default for westerners in general, fandom-related or otherwise, is to write what you are familiar with (i.e. the European Christian white character) and be either less comfortable or less confident or sometimes less thoughtful about his opposing number. I have at times tangentially stumbled across takes on Joe that turn me into the “eeeeeeeh” emoji or Dubious Chrissy Teigen, but I honestly couldn’t tell you anything else about them because I was like, “nope not for me” and went elsewhere rather than do Discourse (which is pretty much a waste of time everywhere and always makes people feel bad). This is why I’m always selective about my fan content, but especially so with this ship, because I have SO much field-specific knowledge that I just have to make what I like and which suits my personal tastes. So that is what I do.

Obviously, there’s a troublesome history with the trope of “sexually liberate brown person seduces virginal white character into a world of Fleshly Decadence,” whether from the medieval correlation of “sodomite” and ��Saracen,” or the nineteenth-century Orientalist depictions of the East as a land variously childishly simplistic, societally backward, darkly mysterious and Exotic, or “decadent” (read: code for sexually unlike Western Europe, including the spectrum of queer acts). So when I was writing DVLA, I absolutely did not want to do that and it’s not to my taste, but I’m not going to whip out a red pen on someone else writing a story that broadly follows those parameters (because as I said, I stay in my lane and don’t see it anyway). Joe to me is just such an intensely complex and lovely Muslim character that that’s the only way I feel like I can honestly write him, and I absolutely love that about him. So yeah, any depiction of hypersexualizing him or making him only available for the sexual use and education of the white character(s) is just... mmm, not for me.

For example, I stressed over whether it was appropriate to move his origin from “somewhere in the Maghreb” to Cairo specifically, since Egypt, while it IS in North Africa, is not technically part of the Maghreb. I realize that Marwan Kenzari’s family is Tunisian and that’s probably why they chose it, to honor the actor’s heritage, but on the flip side… “al-Kaysani” is also a specifically Ismai’li Shia name (it’s the name of a branch of it) and the Fatimids (the ruling dynasty in Jerusalem at the time of the First Crusade) were well-known for being the only Ismai’li Shia caliphate. (This is why the Shi’ites still ancestrally dislike Saladin for overthrowing it in 1174, even if Saladin is a huge hero to the rest of the Islamic world.) Plus I really wanted to use medieval Cairo as Joe’s homeland, and it just made more sense for an Ismai’li Shia Fatimid from Cairo (i.e. the actual Muslim denomination and caliphate that controlled Jerusalem) to be defending the Holy City because it was personal for him, rather than a Sunni Zirid from Ifriqiya just kind of turning up there. Especially due to the intense fragmentation and disorganization in the Islamic world at the time of the First Crusade (which was a big part of the reason it succeeded) and since the Zirids were a breakaway group from the Fatimids and therefore not very likely to be militarily allied with them. As with my personal gripes about Nicky being a priest, I decided to make that change because I felt, as a historian, that it made more sense for the character. But I SUPER recognize it as my own choices and tweaks, and obviously I’m not about to complain at anyone for writing what’s in graphic novel/bonus content canon!

That ties, however, into the fact that Nicky has a clearly defined city/region of origin (Genoa, which has a distinct history, culture, and tradition of crusading) and Joe is just said to be from “the Maghreb” which…. is obviously huge. (I.e. anywhere in North Africa west of Egypt all the way to Morocco.) And this isn’t a fandom thing, but from the official creators/writers of the comics and the movie. And I’m over here like: okay, which country? Which city? Which denomination of Islam? You’ve given him a Shia name but then point him to an origin in Sunni Ifriqiya. If he’s from there, why has he gone thousands of miles to Jerusalem in the middle of a dangerous war to help his religious/political rivals defend their territory? Just because he’s nice? Because it was an accident? Why is his motivation or reason for being there any less defined or any less religious (inasmuch as DVLA Nicky’s motive for being on the First Crusade is religious at all, which is not very) than the white character’s? In a sense, the Christians are the ones who have to work a lot harder to justify their presence in the Middle East in the eleventh century at all: the First Crusade was a specifically military and offensive invasion launched at the direct behest of the leader of the Western Roman church (Pope Urban II.) So the idea that they’re “fighting for the faith” or defending it bravely is…

Eeeeh. (Insert Dubious Chrissy Teigen.)

But of course, nobody teaches medieval history to anyone in America (except for Bad Game of Thrones History Tee Em), and they sure as hell don’t teach about the crusades (except for the Religious Violence Bad highlight reel) so people don’t KNOW about these things, and I wish they DID know, and that’s why I’m over here trying to be an academic so I can help them LEARN it, and I get very passionate about it. So once again, I entirely don’t blame people who have acquired this distorted cultural impression of the crusades and don’t want to do a book’s worth of research to write a fic about a Netflix movie. I do hope that they take the initiative to learn more about it because they’re interested and want to know more, since by nature the pairing involves a lot of complex religious, racial, and cultural dynamics that need to be handled thoughtfully, even if you don’t know everything about it. So like, basically all I want is for the Muslim character(s) to be given the same level of respect, attention to detail, background story, family context, and religious diversity as any of the white characters, and Imma do it myself if I have to. Dammit.

(I’m really excited to hear your thoughts on the second half of the fic, especially chapter 3 and chapter 6, but definitely all of it, since I think the characters they’re established as in the early part of the fic do remain true to themselves and both grow and struggle and go through a realistic journey with their faith over their very long lives, and it’s one of my favorite themes about DVLA.)

Anyway, about Nicky. I also made the specific choice to have him be an average guy, the ordinary second son of a nobleman who doesn’t really know what he’s doing with his life and isn’t the mouthpiece of Moral Virtue in the story, since as he himself realizes pretty quick, the crusades and especially the sack/massacre of Jerusalem are actually horrific. I’ve written in various posts about my nitpicking gripes with him being a priest, so he’s not, and as I said, I’m definitely avoiding any scenario where he has to Learn About The World from Joe. That is because I want to make the point that the people on the crusades were people, and they went for a lot of different reasons, not all of which were intense personal religious belief. The crusades were an institution and operated institutionally. Even on the First Crusade, where there were a lot of ordinary people who went because of sincere religious belief, there was the usual bad behavior by soldiers and secular noblemen and people who just went because it was the thing to do. James Brundage has an article about prostitution and miscegenation and other sexual activity on the First Crusade; even at the height of this first and holy expedition, it was happening. So Nicky obviously isn’t going to be the moral exemplar because a) the crusades are horrific, he himself realizes that, and b) it’s just as historically accurate that he wouldn’t be anyway. Since the idea is that medieval crusaders were all just zealots and ergo Not Like Us is dangerous, I didn’t want to do that either. If we think they all went because they were all personally fervent Catholics and thus clearly we couldn’t do the same, then we miss a lot of our own behavior and our parallel (and troubling) decisions, and yeah.

As well, I made a deliberate choice to have Nicky’s kindness (which I LOVE about him, it’s one of my favorite things, god how refreshing to have that be one of the central tenets of a male warrior character) not to be something that was just… always there and he was Meek and Good because a priest or whatever else. Especially as I’ve gotten older and we’ve all been living through these ridiculous hellyears (2020 is the worst, but it’s all been general shit for a while), I’ve thought more and more about how kindness is an active CHOICE and it’s as transgressive as anything else you can do and a whole lot more brave than just cynicism and nihilism and despair. As you’ll see in the second half of the fic, Nicky (and Joe) have been through some truly devastating things and it might be understandable if they gave into despair, but they DON’T. They choose to continue to be good people and to try and to actively BE kind, rather than it being some passive default setting. They struggle with it and it’s raw and painful and they’re not always saints, but they always come down on the side of wanting to keep doing what they’re doing, and I… have feelings about that.

Anyway, this is already SUPER long, so I’ll call it quits for now. But thank you so much for this, because I love these characters and I love the story I created for them in DVLA, since all this is personal to me in a lot of ways, and I’m so glad you picked up on that.

[honestlyhufflepuff]

Taking a closer look at “Why So Blue”

This episode was a lovely break from Steven’s “baggage,” instead focusing on the growth Lapis has had. It was visually beautiful, with a touching new song from Lapis, and an interesting contrast from gems that remind her of her old self.

However, I feel this episode has been a little neglected in the fandom as far as the things it tells us about Steven and the world around him. Remember, Future is primarily about Steven’s arc and anything revealed about another character is bound to reveal something about him as well. “Why So blue” has been overshadowed by more dramatic episodes that had Steven’s anger and negative feelings at the forefront. This is no surprise, as seeing Steven’s issues manifesting so intensely is still such a new thing for the fans to process. This episode has Steven acting closer to his lighthearted, optimistic “old self” than any other one in SUF, and I wanted to delve into the implications of that. Let’s break down some things the episode establishes…

1. Despite his “outbursts,” Steven is still a Pacifist at heart.

This look was all it took for Lapis to regain control of herself. In this episode- this moment- is when he really seemed the most like “Classic Steven.” He’s not shouting at her to stop, or joining in the fight. He is just believing in Lapis’s growth and giving her the space to come around on her own. I don’t think the Steven we saw in “Guidance” would have done that. Part of this shift is due to his personal growth, but it’s also probably because he is falling back into his old role of pacifying hostile gems, which is what he knows best and what he’s comfortable with. That isn’t healthy, especially considering how much we’ve seen him panic when he doesn’t have someone to fix in later eps. However, it’s still a relief to see that fighting is not his first recourse despite his new “pink” powers making an appearance almost every episode.

2. Our Lapis is far stronger than your average Lapis. It is unclear if she was designed to be this way or if it is a result of her trials. Regardless, the Crystal Gems should be very grateful she’s on their side. She has the potential to rival a Diamond in combat.

She fixin’ to mess y’all up.

3. Steven has had growth over the course of SUF.

I bring this up because I think even though Steven is facing a very real personal crisis regarding his growth, he’s still had positive changes since the original series, and since the start of Future.

Lapis: I wish I hadn’t done that. They just remind me so much of myself. It’s infuriating.

Steven: Give yourself a break. You’ve grown a lot. It’s not your fault they’re stuck in their ways.

Contrast Steven’s attitude in this scene with his attitude towards Jasper back in Little Homeschool, after agonizing about his inability to change her:

Are you just going to sit here…waiting for someone to give you a purpose? Because I’m TRYING to give you one!

There have been obvious parallels between Jasper and Steven in this series, as Jasper is possibly the only character almost as stuck in the past as Steven is. I don’t know if Steven is self aware enough to realize that Jasper set him off so easily because he saw himself in her, like Lapis did in the HW Lapises. What he has realized is that not all gems will change in the way he imagined they should, and that’s ok. Him and Jasper, as far as we know, are not exactly friends, but they have an understanding of each other. Jasper may always be stuck in her ways, and Steven has apparently made peace with the fact that her bitterness is not his burden. He even sees value in the fact that she sees the world differently from him, and wants to learn from her.

This was a huge point of growth for Steven. All he did through the main series was try to fix people, and it’s obviously taken a toll on him. The only problem is now that he’s let go of his need to fix others by leaving Little Homeschool, he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

Steven has moments of self awareness regarding his issues (in between all the repression, avoidance, and denial) throughout SUF. One is in this moment with with Lapis, where he articulates that you can’t blame yourself for someone else not wanting to change and grow. He admitted to the Rose Quartzes that he’s “not fine,” but vehemently says the opposite to anyone else. He admits to Pink Pearl that he has “baggage,” although he won’t elaborate. He admits to Amethyst that his need to control others is a problem. He admits to his friends- under extreme duress and prodding- that he is having a hard time coping with cange. He opens up to “Cactus Steven” more than anyone, but after how that turned out the next time he opens up won’t come very easily.

My point is, Steven is still growing as a person, but it is a slow process due to all the trauma he is processing, compounded with having powers just as volatile as his emotions are.

4. HW gems are having a hard time letting go of the old caste system.

He’s half Diamond. Maybe we should half listen.

If the Lapises were really listening to Steven in the first place, then their primary motivation for listening to him would not be him being “half diamond.” The whole point of him overthrowing the empire was to create an equal society where Diamonds wouldn’t dictate what everyone does anymore.

How can the thing we’ve always done just suddenly be wrong?

Everyone is having trouble adjusting to this new equality in practice, including Steven. This is a massive, ancient, complex dictatorship that is now adjusting to a new government created by a human teenager. A Diamond is the one teaching and leading the new way things work, so of course it’s a mixed message for HW gems who have him telling them everyone is equal, but also that they no longer can do what they want to if it impedes his vision. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in Steven’s position. It would make most people uncomfortable to tell someone that the thing they were created for- that they also take joy and pride in- is now not only obsolete but morally wrong. Hooray for minors dealing with the nuances of cultural sensitivity in their galactic imperialism!

“He’s smaller than I thought.

Funny that this was the same thing said by the Rose Quartzes. It’s probably hard for any gem to imagine a Diamond that is not massive and imposing, but Steven is still pretty small even for a human (and still shorter than Connie). I can imagine this is why Jasper was so quick to reject him as her Diamond. Steven does not project the towering picture of immortal and flawless power as the other Diamonds have, and this is inevitably disappointing to gems that have long valued that image.

You really expect us to dance and sing like Pearls?

Gem society was not lacking in the arts, but they were strictly reserved for the elite and those who served to perform for them.

It’s interesting that Peridot had no idea what music was, and I presume this is because she was in a lower status than Lapis. The problem is not that the HW Lapises were unaware of artistic expression, but that they found it beneath them. The Lapises take pride in being instruments of power and destruction, the opposite of how everyone perceives Pearls. It’s no surprise they perceived such a heartfelt song from a fellow Lapis as “pitiful.”

Despite the fact that Pearls were very close to those in power, they had none of their own, and even Peridot considered herself above them when she first arrived from Homeworld. Pearls were created to be objects. Status symbols. Pretty little ornaments. Music boxes. And gems created for more “practical” purposes than entertaining the elite and opening doors would see anything associated with Pearls as beneath them.

5. Hot take: Lapis’s approach wasn’t totally in the wrong.

Lapis: We’ve just got to force them to stop. They’re not nice like me.

Steven: Ummm *avoids eye contact*

Lapis: Exactly.

The HW Lapises- much like Jasper- valued physical power over other virtues. Lapis beat herself up a lot for her loss of restraint, but communicating a bit with a show of the type of power the Lapises valued was enough to get them to listen. Steven’s approach alone clearly wasn’t working.

Sometimes people think so differently from you that you have to meet them halfway to have any hope of getting through to them. Steven did this when he agreed to fight Jasper.

I think the main reason he feared Lapis taking this approach was because he knew her past. He knew how hard she was to reign in once she got started, and how drastic she could be in confrontation. I mean, that’s why we have the entire Malachite story arc.

Restraint takes strength! Patience takes strength! Ugh, I don’t have the strength to deal with you.

However, Lapis has grown past that stage of her life, where her trauma ruled all her interactions with others. She has friends- like Steven and Peridot- who keep her grounded. She has developed healthy coping skills and outlets for her processing her emotions. This is why is so concerning to see Steven doing the opposite. The more fragile his mental state becomes, the more he distances himself from his closest friends and interests.

Lapis had the self awareness to realize she was slipping into old habits and losing control, and removed herself from the situation to cool down. That is huge for her.

Not every gem is going to want to go to Little Homeschool, and there’s probably a lot of them that still like fighting and destruction- especially if that’s what they were made for. Era 3 is so bent on avoiding violence that there isn’t really an outlet for pent up aggression (which Steven could use as well, btw). I think starting up some kind of gem dojo would be a great alternative instead of just expecting every gem to like the “softer” things like dancing and making meep morp.

Also, just imagine Jasper as a dojo master. Hell yeah.

6. Most people probably do not realize that Steven is struggling.

Wow, Steven. It took you a whole 5 seconds to make a new friend. You’re getting rusty.

I found this quote from Lapis telling. She still sees Steven as being able to make and keep friends effortlessly. In “Room for Ruby,” she was actually relieved to hear Ruby’s immediate love for earth was all an act, laughing and saying “No one could be that well adjusted.” The only exception to this rule for her seems to be Steven. She looks to him for stability, just like she did in the fight with the other Lapises.

In reality, Steven is terrified of his friends moving on and changing, while also being resentful if they don’t recognize he has changed. He has unresolved trauma that is eating away at him and causing him to have emotions he doesn’t know how to handle. However, most people probably see Steven as he presented in “Why So Blue-” gentle, charismatic, and carefree. It is not uncommon with mental illness to be “high functioning” in public and then come undone the moment you are home around your immediate family.

Even after the very public display of his stress in “Little Graduation,” none of his friends were like “dude, you’re scaring me, please go to therapy.” They saw one incident, but not the whole picture, so none of them seemed to really grasp how bad things are going for him. This is because Steven is still pretty adept at putting up a positive front most of the time.

***

Anyways, I just wanted to revisit this episode and give it some love. Feel free to RB and tell me things you noticed about it that I may have missed!

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Lauren’s Attunement/// The Catharsis of the Dark Diary (Long ass post)

Ah ... I really don't know how much I could say about this Attunement that I decided to separate into two parts and notice that I am going to deviate a bit from my original intention to make some clear points because there is a lot to get out of what Lauren has said. With that in mind I hope it is not too confusing to read.

First part: Cancellation Culture

I think our moonchild has been perfectly clear on this point. "We are living in a very sick world" "In a world in great need of healing and that will not do so through the culture of cancellation." Cancellation culture sucks, folks. A twisted idea of ​​exposing things from the past of people who have not been good and that people have become accustomed to criticizing as if all those who criticize were a mirror of virtue and perfection when nobody is perfect and Lauren also mentions that in your Attunement. Lauren also mentions that we cannot hold people accountable for their mistakes because it is the most important part of the process. And it is a truth like a cathedral. People who make mistakes need to take responsibility for their actions so that they don't make them again. It is necessary to learn from it and improve as people and heal. In the part where Lauren mentions that she would never publicly embarrass the people she loves, she reminded me of Camila. I did not want to mention Camila in this because we know that Lauren has also been humiliated but if we talk about the cancellation culture that part goes to Camila. Camila has been a victim of the culture of cancellation long before leaving the band and they have made Twitter threads, blaming her with a racist past for which she has apologized many times but still drag her to hell, no matter what. Camila has haters who love to fuck her and Lauren knows it too. She has known it forever and a clear example is (I'm not going to put a screenshot because it would distract me) the tweet where someone calls Camila ugly and Lauren responds to that hater saying: "Hello, can you show me a picture of you? " It is these details that make us understand that everything she sees on the internet in relation to her and her loved ones affects her a lot and what she says when she talks about the online world where we are all the time, is bullshit. She says that it's not that you can't do what makes you beautiful, that she's fine with it, but also the people who are watching don't know that shit is fake and that people aren't happy with who they are. "That when they look in the mirror they don't love themselves." And I think she hit the spot there too, folks. She has perfectly outlined a hater's profile. The lack of love of those people who have found an escape route to their frustrations, to what is wrong with their lives, that makes them what they are. Because as she says, we live in a screwed up world, it's true but the point is, how the hell have we got to this point? How do we get to this point where the human being has lost humanity and has become shadows of hatred and rejection that lives by making Twitter threads and canceling people to feel better about themselves? And then Lauren talks about Trump. She mentions Trump as a symptom of lack of love. And again she is not wrong. Donald Trump's life was never very happy. With an authoritarian father who always preferred his eldest son to follow the legacy of his family and perpetuate the name of it, when this son did not want that pressure, the father banished the eldest son and all the shit fell on Trump. The only other male in the family. Trump is that man's mirror. From that egomaniac, controlling, arrogant, undoubtedly macho and racist father because he has really shown it. Trump lives on appearances. To demonstrate something that is not and to hide its shortcomings in a marked narcissism.

Another thing that strikes me about what she has said and another truth is also that we no longer love each other because we do not know where we are standing. And that is also true, we do not know who we are because others dictate who we are. They dictate what to say, what to eat, what music to listen to, what television series to watch until we become cattle. We have lost our ability as individual beings to fit the mold of livestock just to give us the feeling of feeling connected, as if we were part of something. Part of a whole that is still controlled. From this part Lauren begins to talk about what she has written in her diary so I will continue with the second part, but to close this one, I can only say that many of the things she mentions are a reflection of what we are doing living, of what we are suffering and our own fragility as a human species.

Second part: Black Diary and Amy's Shadow

I think we have a concept of great artists as broken human beings, wrapped in dramas and additions that actually "help" perfectly in their art. Where, the more chaos there is in their lives, the more geniuses they become. And I think Amy can be an example of that. And talking about her, because I'm going to start by talking about her and then I'm going to express my thoughts about Lauren. I remember responding to an ask yesterday saying that I was terrified when Lauren said she felt identified with her because their lives were a kind of parallel. And then I thought better of it and realized that yes, both lives have that parallel but with a difference, Lauren has what Amy never had. An emotional support network. Good friends. Amy's life was marked by rejection, mockery, the circus that was her life where her art was in the background and her voice was shattered to make way for the addicted, alcoholic Amy, where her greatest achievement was to climb to a drugged and drunk stage, with glasses of wine that she drank live and her show was to demonstrate her weakness so that others made fun of her. Her parents perpetuated that shit because it gave them money, and as long as she made money, at the cost of her own physical and mental health, nothing else mattered. Being an artist is not only knowing how to sing, dance, write, paint and be good at all kinds of artistic expression, but it is much more than that. Being an artist is breaking yourself into pieces and giving them to your fans to do with those pieces what they want. It is giving more than what nobody will give you in return. And Amy got broken. They broke her into thousands of pieces and they all jumped like vultures wanting a piece of her until she ceased to exist because they never gave her a chance to rebuild herself. They never gave her a chance to learn to love herself to be able to heal because they didn't want a healthy Amy because that didn't sell. They were only served by her pain because she filled their bank accounts, those of her friends, those of her managers, those of the entertainment tabloids. Those of her boyfriends. The ones from her own fucking parents. And so far we can draw parallels with Lauren. It is possible that our moonchild has had or is having her problems with her mother, or with her record label, or with whatever she is having problems and is dealing with right now, but at least she does not have a family that just supports her and is there for the money she may or may not earn. And yes, she mentioned many fears at first before reading the newspaper, but at least she has had a chance to regroup when she needs to. Lauren has the ability to heal herself, her own will thanks to her own strength. Because even if you are afraid of breaking or feeling pain, you have to feel it. You have to hit rock bottom to learn how to get out of there. You have to go to the extreme of falling enough to know that your own will, your own inner strength is so great that it helps you to rise not only once, but a thousand times if necessary. And she has that ability. I believe and have always said it, you already know it. That the real problem, or part of it, is not Lauren's fragility because that is bullshit. Lauren is a strong girl but at the same time she has this angel, this kind of kindness that really does not go well in an environment as rotten and toxic as the industry. Lauren Jauregui does not fit molds. She cannot follow rules if she considers that they are not fair and that people in the industry do not like because they lose their ability to manipulate it. There is a reason that her song Toy has disappeared, folks. Lauren is still an artist and of course she too falls into the concept of what it means to be an artist, breaking herself into pieces and giving those pieces to us who are her fans. And since we have a piece of it, perhaps we create ourselves with the right to demand more from her because we are not satisfied with what she gives us and we criticize her for it. The worst fans are capable of fucking her and haters are able to write Twitter threads exposing what they hate about her.

That would scare anyone, folks. Even if you are not an artist. There is a Lauren Gif that I posted on the blog as part of a set of images related to Camren. In that gif Lauren looks at the audience with such a raw expression on her face saying something like: "You who are there screaming like crazy, with your perfect lives while I am being pressured to the point of breaking and you just want more" (I put the only screenshot because I don't have the GiF image at hand)

This GiF is something that always caught my attention and since I have known Lauren she knew that there was something else with her. I met her as the bad girl, the bitch one. That image that appeared to conform to Tyren. And then her smile disappeared. I remember when I joined the fandom where one of my first posts about PR circuses was to ask myself: Why do girls look so fucked up? Why is Lauren so sad or why has her smile disappeared? And then there were those weird videos where she seemed like "haunted", like outside of herself and that agreed with the time that she had to stunt for Tyren and always seemed to be the same dynamic with her. And then it was not only me who realized that Lauren was not well, but also other mutuals and we kept repeating the same thing to the bastards on her team: "Lauren is not well, please take care of her " That was something that we repeated a thousand times with Lauren and then also with Camila because it always caught my attention that the two of them were equally fucked at the same time. Before I knew that Lauren had her problems with her family, I also noticed that separation. I think I received a bit of shit after expressing my thoughts but in the end, I was never wrong because Lauren herself has expressed it and I think if I had been in the fandom long before 2018 I would have noticed it too. This has been a very emotional Attunement on Lauren's part and I told her in a tweet, as her fan has been a privilege to have witnessed that. It is a privilege to be a fan of a girl with a huge heart who has flaws that make her more human than other people and who has grown enough to know that she can continue to do so. With this post I have tried to be respectful and say that, although I do not know her, we connect in a special way because we have almost the same way of thinking in many aspects (although I do not agree in many others) and I think that still does most important to me. About the newspaper. It reminded me of the lost diary topic, but apparently she has more than one. Who knows. I remember my period of having diaries in my teens and I appreciate that because it made me realize that writing would be an important part of my life. If there is one way I am good at expressing myself it is writing, and no, not in English so I apologize for the mistakes. There is one last detail of Lauren's Attunement that goes a bit more on the personal side. When she says: "To be a real one, is to be an emotional one". I have always had a conflict with being emotional. Starting with my zodiac sign (yes, I know it's a bit silly to believe in that but it amuses me). As a Pisces, I am an emotional being. As a physically disabled person I have my limitations and although these limitations do not define me, I have always had a fierce fight with my vulnerable side. I hate depending on others, physically and emotionally. I also hate getting sick and others having to take care of me when I'm unable to do it on my own, that's why I don't get along with my emotional side. Excessively emotional and I prefer to be more cerebral in many aspects (I think you have noticed that my favorite word this year has been brainless people, right) and dependency is something that I can't stand on myself. That they depend on me does not matter, I am always for those who need me but being dependent is something I tend to avoid like pests. Relying on others to do things for you, depending on the affection of other people ... my family (except my mother) was never very affectionate to say, it was not impulsively hugging you or public displays of affection and I learned to be the same . But I also learned to give what others did not give me. And it cost me. That of leaving the mold of a family that is there and that sometimes worries but that others can leave you and not know what you are doing on any given day. A family that demands expectations. At least some of my uncles. I think that in that part I feel identified with Lauren and it is curious because I am adopted but she is not. And still I feel identified with Lauren and at the same time with Camila and the relationship that she has with her mother, which is almost an exact copy of the relationship that I had with my mother throughout my childhood and adolescence. I guess that's why I follow them both, apart from because I love the music of both. The last detail and I already stop talking about me because this post is about Lauren. What she talks about the industry, the molds, how female artists within the industry are treated. That was also an important aspect because here we are, always complaining about the fact that female artists are undervalued and punished twice as much as a male artist because the music industry is misogynous and macho. That's true.

Society tends to forgive the mistakes of male artists who sometimes do more reprehensible things than female artists and all the mistakes of those female artists (Leigh-Ann of LM throwing shade at Camila) come to light more times and they are more hated. That is a part of the industry that I have always hated and that makes me sad at the same time because it always affects our girls. And I don't know what else I have left to say that I haven't already said, I hope I wasn't too confused with my ideas but it was something I had to write about and I've taken my time to do that. I don't know if Lauren is ever going to read this, but I wanted to thank her. Thanks moonchild. Thank you for giving us that piece of you that makes you vulnerable so that we know it. Thank you for being yourself, for teaching us that we can heal and continue to grow. Thank you for that beautiful mind of yours that has so much to express and deliver to this screwed up world. Don't stop being real, mija. Don't let that light you have go out. I love you so much moonchild ...

sorry for the long reading, folks but it was something I needed to said.

[jageunyeoujari]

‘idea’ & self-knowledge as love as freedom

w thanks to @radiatingdyke​​ & henrik !!

so in a previous post, i talked abt spectacle & respect in criminal for context. now starting off w henrik’s thoughts re: plato:

"It’s honestly pretty ambiguous what Plato means by it- at least in the republic- The core theory is that ideal forms are a truer kind of reality than the shadows. The philosopher escapes a cave of shadows projected on the wall by a ruling class, the only “reality” they ever knew and were literally bound to. They crawl through a treacherous passage to find themselves face to face with the dazzling light of the sun which blinds them temporarily, and as their eyes adjust they find themselves in a forest and realize the shadow puppet of “tree” was not the real tree all along! For what the shadows are: Idk how developed popular media/conventional politics were at the time but we (America) based a lot of our shit on it so I think one strong possibility is we find ourselves in a modern allegory of the cave where the shadows dancing on the wall are the world as it’s told to us- through news education and policy and the “real” is personal experience and genuine community. Then shadows would then be actual reality as we know it, including the real trees and personal experience, a veil placed over us by metaphysical forces which can be lifted through Godwork to reveal the true nature of the inner workings of the universe. The last part of the allegory is that the philosopher returns to the cave to free the other prisoners and spread the light”

so while criminal is the revelation in the toxic cycle of the idol culture & mutual destruction & obsession are confused for love, idea is making the decision to learn what true love & connection is, leaving behind the suffocating expectations demanded by the industry, & in the process, become complete in his humanity.

so we first see taemin in jail, condemning himself for his role in the toxic parasocial relations of idol culture, and literally... calling himself out.... altho i would say that this:

in criminal is purgatory proper, the jail may be the end point of his journey there. he confesses his sins, his soul gets purified, & then next we see him in the bar which is confirmed to be heaven (which happens to look much like lee soo man's office) while the flashy models stare at taemin, the walking dead, the posh people in suits (likely executives) ignore him. 

so here we have taemin trying to fit in seemlessly in this world of the elites who have the highest level of control in the idol industry. here, he is assured his status as the best & now guaranteed to be free of pain... but on their terms. there is shallow comfort but nothing else. the others content w playing games & eating delicacies, surrounded by alcohol, but are contained to sitting, indulging in frivolities, & passively looking on but no chance of connection. the bar is just another form of intoxication, but unlike criminal where there is at least an illusion of attaining love, heaven is merely stagnant. this idealized heaven of the elites cannot give true freedom as it is based on sterility & exclusivity, just another form of social control. "the dangerous dream that swallowed me is proven by you." staying here would be another form of self-betrayal & denial of the love he seeks so he rebels against heaven through his dancing, an affirmation of his life.

taemin then being shocked that all these shadow versions of himself are not the truth... silvery dissolving forms... his identity fragmenting............ but still taemin still can't break away from the illusion that the adoration & fame he receives as an idol could be actually hurting him.

as @radiatingdyke has talked about, BoA's 'killing me' line is reminiscent of korean shamans channeling gods. significant that it is BoA who he channels as they are both similar, debuting at a very young age & have been massive stars ever since then. "you are my messiah" BoA cuts him off, speaking the truth. this isn't who he rly is or what he actually wants. he must face himself & the truth or he will die. 

the mirror steps are i think symbolic of plato's ladder of love. to my understanding, the ladder of love is basically about how the aim of life is the ascension of the soul to heaven. the gods can do this as a god's soul is in perfect balance w all the different aspects of itself which makes them necessarily wise & good. humans' souls are in disarray, however, & it is this conflict between all parts of the soul which makes it difficult for us to follow the gods to heaven. to do this, people have to understand the true Form of beauty, by climbing the ladder of love. the steps start from loving a body which one is attracted to due to physical beauty & by understanding the beauty of this body, one can then consider how the beauty of one body is found in all bodies. the progression goes on from loving more broadly until we come to the last step, love of knowledge & wisdom. now one is able to see the actual form of Beauty, bringing harmony to your soul. so in order to taemin to finally know peace within himself, he has to know how to love.

& the progression of the ladder implies for me that by first learning to care for others but understanding who they are in their completeness & beauty, you eventually are able to learn to care for yourself & see the beauty in your own soul. & on the flip side, the better able you care for yourself, the more you are able to care for others. i'll discuss this more when i go into my thoughts on act 2 as a whole but basically, the rest of act 2 has a truly warm & loving atmosphere when taemin speaks to the other. in comparison, act 1 presents his experience of 'love' as enmeshment, painful, confusing, losing his self of sense to cater to the desires of the other. there are feelings of obligation to stay in this destructive relationship bc that’s his prescribed role & anyway, any attention is better than none at all. 

ppl w a poor sense of self can readily suffer mistreatment for the sake of a semblance of connection, confusing obsession for love when what’s rly happening is actually cathexis, an investment of emotions. while care & affection can exist w cathexis, as does happen in fans’ relations w idols, this is not the same thing as love which liberates & cultivates growth in yourself & the other. fans’ obsession w idols quickly flipping to hate when idols stray from the designated persona of perfection is investment in that image but is not real love. in act 1, he does not understand the other clearly for what it is, destruction that must end, & the fact that he is suffering. without such awareness, he is incapable of truly giving & receiving love. 

& while act 2 does have similar themes of taking on other's pain, it becomes a stark contrast to act 1 bc he does so from a place of utter assurance of his identity & true self-love, not from the fear of being left alone. he loves himself for who he is so he is able to love for ourselves purely as well.

& as @radiatingdyke has said (& in much more detail than i can) the ladder reflecting the sky can also be a reference to indigenous korean beliefs where the sky represents the entire universe. the creator god is Hanulnim, literally sky god.  

 also, even tho NGDA as a whole is replete w western imagery & references & v catholic, the overarching narrative of the 2 albums don't feel western to me in that there never is a fight between good & evil. a typical western narrative would be more like there would the defeat of like 'criminal' taemin by 'good' taemin or an obvious redemption arc. & to me, idea doesn't read so much as he confronts & then accepts both the good & the bad in him but that he leaves behind these limited concepts altogether & instead connects back to the true essence of the universe & becomes free to be utterly himself.

he’s struggled so much over the course of his career w figuring out how to reconcile the duality of himself, what it means to be authentic as an idol, wishing for his true self to be seen & appreciated. it’s always been looking outward for that validation but skirting away from revealing the whole truth of himself... & idea is the final answer to all that. no more denial, repression, burning away of the past, configuration to other ppl’s desires, no more use of mystery as a defense against the fear of being rejected if people see him for who he really is. he accepts himself for who he is & that’s all that matters.

in classic gaytholic taem fashion, he compares himself to jesus + mary + other divinity in NGDA imagery but ultimately, taemin is done w being both a god & the condemned. “i’ve finally opened my eyes.” he’s never been anything but a human being & he’s showing us all the beauty in that.

[talvin-muircastle]

Am I Queer? It’s Controversial.

This is going to be long, and it’s going to cover a lot of ground, so please bear with me.  

Recently, this article came to my attention:

https://www.healthline.com/health/gender-nonconforming

I have spent a fair amount of time questioning my own sexuality/identity, and having it questioned by others.  Now approaching five full decades of life, I feel comfortable saying:

I identify as Male, and Straight.

I am Gender Non-Conforming by the standards of the culture I come from.

But I am not comfortable saying this qualifies me as “Queer” or otherwise under LGBTQIA+.   

That article (which is by no means the Last Word on the subject) identifies several areas where I do not conform to my AMAB status as culturally defined:

I have long hair.  But I also have a thick beard and moustache, and I like that combination.  Still, I grew up in a place where long hair on a guy meant you were A) Queer or B) into Heavy Metal.   Even though my teen years saw me sporting a military-style buzzcut more often than not, I tended to hang out with the Metalheads.  My long hair continues to be a point of contention with my conservative relatives and in-laws.   Some of them think I am a Hippie, which is funny because I am allergic to Cannabis.  Wanna watch me fight for breath and puke?  Blow weed smoke in my face.  

I am a Stay-At-Home Dad and Homemaker.  I have been the breadwinner for this family, but that is not part of my identity.  I am quite content to let my wife handle that part of things, and so is she.  I have been a Dad longer than I have been a father, in fact:  for most of my life I have been mentoring teenagers that find their way to me seeking advice, comfort, acceptance, and guidance.    I spent a lot of time worrying about what career should I follow, and it took me far too long to understand and accept that Dad was what I was after.  A woman seeking motherhood as a career is validated, a man seeking fatherhood in the same context is not conforming.  

When I was younger, I got hit with one hell of a double-standard: while wanting to be a Dad as a goal is not acceptable, I was supposed to go out there and sow my wild oats.  OK, I wasn’t really supposed to get girls pregnant, but I was supposed to try.  Wait, what? Try that again?  OK, if you were a teenaged boy in the 80s and 90s and I am pretty sure before that (not sure after, AIDS changed a lot of thinking all around), you were not supposed to get a girl pregnant, but you were supposed to make an attempt as often as possible, in fact you were supposed to score but fail.  If you are confused, don’t feel bad: I was living steeped in this paradox 24/7/365 and came out of it real confused.

Meanwhile, I was looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship with a woman who could be a partner in my life, and avoiding the one-night stands I was supposed to be after according to the standards of my culture, and so many of the people around me—parents, teachers, peers—decided that I must be Queer.  And that was Not A Good Classification To Find Yourself In in Rural Tennessee of the 80’s and 90’s.   Lacking real support, I entered adulthood like a trainwreck still skidding down the tracks, confused as hell and desperately trying to please people whose opinions mattered to me far more than they should.  I did finally find that relationship, and we celebrate 21 years of marriage this month.  Meanwhile I can’t keep track of who has gotten divorced and remarried from that crowd anymore.   

I am not a fan of American Football.  (I am not a fan of soccer, which is football to the rest of the world, but that’s not going to get you labeled Queer in the USA as yet.)   Even so, I got recruited to be the Football Manager for my high school football team, and then I spent several years studying to be an Athletic Trainer in college as an add-on to my English and Education degree.  The fact that I spent 7 years of my life on the sidelines of football games (and basketball, and baseball) and still do not really understand the rules of those sports should have been a clear sign to me that I was trying to conform and failing badly.  An American Male of my generation is supposed to like these things, he is supposed to scream at the television or scream from the stands when watching a game, he is supposed to have a Favorite Team and Wear Their Stuff.

Yeah, that’s not me.  I don’t like combative sports.  I like things that involve grace, beauty, and art.   Figure skating (either gender, singles, but especially pairs) is fun to watch.  The more artistic of gymnastics events are nice (uneven bars and vault are kinda boring, but I love watching floor exercise.)  Watching someone do tricks on a skateboard is more interesting to me than an MMA bout.  I enjoy the art of it.   I used to watch WWF Wrestling as a kid, but I found I enjoyed the “story” more than the violence.  Martial arts practice that is done like a dance is more interesting than watching two people try to kick each other in the face for real.   

I’m told I am supposed to like these things.  I am told that not liking them makes me less masculine.  

This extends into online gaming as well.  Oh, I like some combat games.  We aren’t going to talk about how many hours I have played the XCOM series.  But…I don’t like PVP or multiplayer. I like the story arc, and accomplishing things.  Minecraft?  I like building, and killing mobs is very secondary to that.  In single-player I usually just go peaceful mode and explore the world, build grand railways and tunnels, create comfortable houses or make a home under a lake with a glass roof under the water.  In World of Warcraft I spent more time exploring the world and getting cool screenshots than worrying about getting Phat Loot and XP.  I would take a whole afternoon just to escort a couple of new players through dangerous territory so they could find their friends.  

I have gotten a lot of grief over that.  I am supposed to go out and kill kill kill stab stab stab get the loot!  

And I am supposed to get more than the other person.  It’s competition.  Men are supposed to compete.  And if you can’t get more than the other guy you go dump buckets of lava on his house and laugh at the noob.  

I hate that.  

By the standards I was raised with, I am gender nonconforming.  I most definitely do not conform to the expectations that were laid upon me from my youth.

Does that make me Queer?   I am not comfortable claiming that.

The standards I was held to can also be considered Toxic Masculinity.  They hold that Queer==Less Of A Man.  “Queer” is not “Less.”  I was raised to think it is, but I have learned, and grown, and I know that it is not.  I also do not accept that I, myself, am Less.  The very premise of me being labeled Queer by those people is wrong on all counts.   I am different. I have always known that.  I believe that “Man” and “Male” can encompass more than violence, bullying, and competition.  I also know full well that many who identify as “Woman” and “Female” embrace those as ideals as well.  

I am no stranger to violence.  My life has often been violent.  I have fought off muggers who were armed with knives, I have stared down the barrel of a gun, I have been beaten because someone else wanted to establish himself as the dominant male in our school just after he moved there.  I am not a pacifist: the only reason I have not killed another human being in self-defense is because I was outnumbered.   I just don’t feel that defines my gender, and I have been told it should.  I fight to survive and to protect others, not to prove that I can.  

Others who look like me are guarding statues of Columbus with their Assault Rifles because they feel their masculinity is threatened.  This is another area where I do not conform to my expected gender roles.   Not only do I not feel my masculinity is threatened by BLM, or Pride, or the existence of Trans folks, I no longer feel my masculinity can be threatened.  I spent so many years under attack from “my” side, and gotten so much support from “their” side, that I now understand that my gender is not about what THEY think.  It is MY identity. I OWN it.  I am who I am regardless of their perception of me. Nothing someone else does can take that from me. 

And if anything about me is Queer, it is that: the understanding that my identity belongs to me and not to those who seek to mislabel me.  

I have been told by some in the Queer community that I am welcome among them, and I am grateful for that.  So, so many of my stories can be prefaced with, “There I was, the only Straight Guy in the room, when:”  I am proud to be an Ally.  

But calling myself Queer?  I’m not comfortable doing that.  I could, and I know some who would accept it.  But I feel it is more important to me to break the toxic definition of Masculinity and show that things like nurturing, caring, creating, dancing, loving, uplifting, and oh yes parenting, these ARE Male Qualities, always have been, and should always be.   No criticism of GNC folks who take the Queer label intended or implied: they are not Less, they own their own identity, they are valid.   They are themselves, and have a right to be. 

I am me.

I am a Man.

I will never be the Man they wanted me to be, and I am PROUD of that. 

Happy Pride Month.  

Don’t let the bastards get you down.

[aion-rsa]

Is Star Wars: Visions Canon? The Anime’s Timeline Explained

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This Star Wars: Visions article contains spoilers.

Seven animation studios have come together to create Star Wars: Visions, a collection of nine anime short films that reimagines the galaxy far, far away through the lens of Japanese culture and aesthetics. It’s one of the most ambitious projects Lucasfilm has ever embarked on with the saga, and it’s an experiment that largely pays off, as it not only brings fresh perspectives to Star Wars but also new characters, from the mysterious swordsman known only as Ronin to a little droid named T0-B1 who wants nothing more than to become a real Jedi Knight.

The stories in Visions take place across several eras of the Star Wars saga, including after The Rise of Skywalker, but are these tales part of the official Disney canon? Here’s what you need to know.

Is Star Wars: Visions Canon?

First of all, who cares? Good Star Wars is good Star Wars, whether it’s part of Disney canon or Legends (the old Expanded Universe before the timeline reboot) or somewhere in between. You should be able to enjoy a Star Wars book or TV show or video game simply because it is a good story with characters you love and not because it fits into whatever the official continuity is that day. Go read Michael A. Stackpole and Aaron Allston’s X-Wing books, they’re great! Want more Clone Wars in your life? Genndy Tartakovky’s non-canon Clone Wars microseries is spectacular.

But if you must know the answer, Star Wars: Visions falls in that third category: “somewhere in between” canon and non-canon. Our own Star Wars reporter Megan Crouse said it best: “Visions sits just to the side of Disney’s Star Wars canon.” None of the stories of characters really clash with anything on the timeline, so they could all be considered Disney canon in theory. But Lucasfilm isn’t really thinking about Visions that way.

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

“I think these shorts are all authentic Star Wars storytelling,” executive producer James Waugh told Digital Spy. “But some are less on the timeline than others. Some could very much fit within our timeline. But Visions, as a whole, is more of a celebration of Star Wars, through this unique perspective, this unique form, this medium and culture. And that was really the intention.”

Okay, so which stories are canon?

“Some stories like ‘Tatooine Rhapsody’ or ‘The Elder’ can very easily fit within certain canonical points,” Waugh said. “But that’s not really the point of the initiative. We needed this to be something different, and we needed it to be really from the hearts of all these creators, to not try and answer questions in Star Wars. Instead, you have Star Wars as an amazing palette to tell stories through.”

While Lucasfilm hasn’t officially labeled which anime shorts are canon and which aren’t, most of them do occupy a specific era in the Star Wars timeline if you want to map out what happens when in Visions.

Where Does Each Episode Fit in the Star Wars Timeline?

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Here is a guide to each of the stories and roughly when they take place on the timeline, according to their creators, who previewed the episodes for IGN ahead of the premiere.

The Duel

Kamikaze Douga’s “The Duel” follows Ronin, an enigmatic warrior who wanders from one part of the galaxy to the other with his trusty droid companion B5. When a village in the Outer Rim comes under attack by Sith, Ronin must choose whether to defend this place or continue on his journey.

When Does It Take Place: Described as an “alternate history pulled from Japanese lore,” the short takes place after the “Sith rebellion,” a conflict which saw a sect of Jedi break off from the rest of the clans. This sounds a lot like a period on the canon timeline known as the “Hundred-Year Darkness,” an era thousands of years before The Phantom Menace that led to the formation of the Sith.

Tatooine Rhapsody

A runaway Jedi padawan forms a rock band with a former member of the Hutt clan in this short by Studio Colorido. When they’re captured by the infamous Boba Fett and brought to Tatooine for their execution, the band hatches a plan to play to best show of their lives in the hopes that Jabba the Hutt will spare them.

When Does It Take Place: Since “Tatooine Rhapsody” begins with a padawan running for his life on Coruscant, it’s very likely the bulk of the short takes place between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, with Jabba still at the height of his power on Tatooine.

The Twins

Twins Karre and Am were raised as children of the dark side so that they could one day rule the galaxy as one. But when one of the siblings begins questioning the dark path that’s been decided for them, it splits the twins right down the middle.

When Does It Take Place: “‘The Twins’ is set after Episode IX, after the Empire has been vanquished by the Resistance,” Trigger studio co-founder Hiroyuki Imaishi told IGN. “The remnants of the Imperial Army have raised a pair of twins on the Dark Side of the Force, and the story goes from there.” But where’s Rey?

The Village Bride

In Kinema Citrus’ short, a peaceful village prepares for a big wedding party, while a cruel warlord plans an attack. A fallen Jedi must decide whether to get involved or do nothing.

When Does It Take Place: While “The Village Bridge” is meant to evoke feudal Japan, the B1-series battle droid puts it squarely in the Prequel era, likely during the Clone Wars.

The Ninth Jedi

The daughter of a legendary sword smith might be the only hope for restoring the Jedi Order at a time when the Sith rule the galaxy once again.

When Does It Take Place: “The Ninth Jedi” is another story set after The Rise of Skywalker. Director Kenji Kamiyama of Production I.G told IGN: “I wondered, after Episode IX, has the galaxy settled into peace? We all love stories of the Jedi and lightsabers, but what became of the Jedi Knights after the movie series? My story is about that.”

Read more

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T0-B1

A little droid is on a mission to terraform a barren planet, all while learning the ways of the Jedi and defending this world from the Empire.

When Does It Take Place: This Science SARU short takes place at some point between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, when what remains of the Jedi Order is still being hunted down by the Empire’s cruel Inquisitors.

The Elder

A Jedi Knight and his padawan encounter great evil in the fringes of space: an aging sword master who wanders the galaxy looking for a worthy opponent.

When Does It Take Place: This story is set some time before The Phantom Menace. “For some viewers, this series might be their first Star Wars experience, so I wanted to make something that you can enjoy without any knowledge of the rest of the story,” Trigger co-founder Masahiko Otsuka told IGN. “So our story is not directly connected to any of the characters from the films, but it explores the idea of the Jedi Knights and the master and padawan dynamic in an older setting.”

Lop and Ocho

Two sisters must decide the fate of their planet. Should they join the Empire or fight to preserve the natural beauty of their home world? This short also introduces fans to Lop, a new hero inspired by a classic Marvel character.

When Does It Take Place: “The story is set between Episode III and IV of the Star Wars movie series,” said director Yuki Igarashi of Geno Studio. “The Galactic Empire is expanding throughout space.”

Akakiri

Billed as “a painful love story,” a Jedi will do anything to protect a princess when a Sith warlord threatens the peace.

When Does It Take Place: The second Science SARU short is the most difficult to place in the timeline. But Wookieepedia has done some detective work: since the installment features a B-wing starfighter, that means it must takes place at some point after the first B-wing prototype was created in Rebels (4 years before A New Hope). And since there are Jedi are around again, that must mean “Akakiri” happens after The Rise of Skywalker during an era when the Order has been restored. Unless this is an alternate history and none of those clues matter…

Star Wars: Visions is streaming now on Disney+.

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