#[upside down emoji w tears]

[digitaldiarystuff]

Disappointed

hi guyss (shy emoji) hope you missed me because i missed you! it looks like ruben is going for the win so enjoy 💖

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pairing: Ruben Dias x Y/N

summary: Ruben recently ended things with you claiming he’s not ready for a relationship and as much as it hurt, you accepted but everything changed after a photo of him was leaked at the airport

genre: angst

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‘Love Island star Arabella Chi and Man. City’s Dias appear to confirm romance’ you read The Sun’s story with a blank expression. But unfortunately your emotionless wasn’t because you didn’t care about the news, it was because of the shock you were feeling.

“Oh fuck no. He’s got to be joking!” you heard Julie, your work bestie say after she saw the title. She rolled her chair next to yours and examined your face to see a reaction but you were still glued to the screen with no visible emotion.

“Y/N, babe, are you okay?” she asked concerned.

Your head was pounding to the point you had to place your hands on the sides of your head to try to make it go away but nothing worked.

“I- I need a cigarette.” you mumbled, more to yourself reaching for your bag. You were trying your hardest to quit but in a situation like this, you couldn’t care less.

Julie warily watched your state wondering if she should come with or let you be and decided to stay at the desk giving you space. You stepped on the balcony of your workplace to calm yourself.

The news about Ruben and a reality star going on a romantic getaway was too much for you. You reached into your bag to find your pack with slightly shaky hands and lit the cigarette between your lips. Ruben hated that you smoked, he always tried to convince you to replace your bad habit with a good one but no amount of smoking would hurt you as much as seeing him go public with someone else a week later you broke off contact.

As wrecked as you were, you had to go back into the office eventually. You couldn’t just leave or stay on the balcony for hours without your supervisor noticing and you certainly didn’t feel like getting scolded at today. You begrudgingly went back in and quickly ran to the bathroom, the only upside of all of this mess was that you weren’t crying. Your body froze to the point that your tears wouldn’t fall.

When you returned to the desk, you saw Julie already closed the tab which you were thankful for. Everyone around you gave you worried looks but you couldn’t even notice. Surprisingly, you buried yourself into work for the rest of the day and didn’t leave your desk once, it was now time to clock out.

“Let’s get something to eat, you haven’t eaten all day.” Julie suggested.

“I appreciate your concern but I think I’m just going to go home now Jules.” you said but she was giving you the sad puppy eyes. “I’m okay, you don’t have to worry.”

“But”

“But nothing, have a great night.” you smiled and went to your way. As soon as you stepped foot into your home you were greeted by your puppy, Yoda. You kneeled down to pet her and just then the waterworks began running. You started sobbing and barely made it to the couch to gain some balance, feeling at home made you miss him so much more. Just weeks ago you were sitting on the same couch with Ruben just enjoying a date night and now here you were not even being able to get time off work to drown in your sorrow while he was at Paris with another woman. You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and ran to the bathroom.

After some time, you grabbed a cup of water and sat with Yoda with dried tear stains on your face. Everything in you told you not to, but you couldn’t help yourself and started reading the news and tiktoks made about the leaked pictures. The gossip pages claimed Ruben reached out to her through instagram and they started dating, no one knew for how long they’ve been together but you knew it had to start before you broke up, if you can call it that.

You were adamant from the start, you didn’t do friends with benefits or fuckbuddies. If you were going to be with someone, you would want stability. It didn’t have to be labeled but it had to be exclusive, so naturally, when you met Ruben you were hesitant. You heard about the footballer’s lifestyle but it had been him who tried pursuing you, sent you flowers everyday, shown up at the places you were at and tried to make you give him a shot and you did. You stupidly fell for it.

Everything was going great, you were falling more and more everyday and he appeared the same so you tried talking about your feelings, the first time he shut down completely. You figured this must be hard for him and backed off. The second time, you started arguing because he wasn’t giving you the answers you needed and dodged them but the last time both of you snapped. It was vicious, you were shouting at each other. He claimed you were smothering him and being controlling and you accused him of using you and being dismissive. The night ended with you slamming the door and exiting his house, leaving the key he gave you for emergencies on the console.

And a week after that, he was seen with someone and didn’t feel like he was hiding at all while he’d keep you behind closed doors throughout the months you’ve spent together.

A week had passed since that day and you were doing better. You still felt the emptiness and sudden rushes of emotion but you composed yourself and still went to work. You also stopped checking socials for any news because you couldn’t read one more thing about their romance but today was a hard day to escape Ruben. It was Man City match day so everyone was wearing their blue shirts and scarfs while you tried to get past people to run errands. You also saw his face on a giant ad on the side of a building but quickly moved past.

While out, you also got 2 bottles of red wine because you wanted to drink a little to feel better but a little quickly turned more and more. Currently you were sitting on your fluffly beige rug leaning your back against your couch. You shook the first bottle in your hand trying to see if there’s any wine in it, there wasn’t. Groaning, you picked up the remote and opened the tv and the first thing you saw was that City had won. You cursed Ruben for getting everything right, but not you.

Before your mind can comprehend what you’re doing, you opened your texting app and sent him a message. Your eyes were watery and vision blurry but you didn’t care, you were beyond angry. Soon you were dozing off slowly with your head on the sofa cushions but were woken with the voice of keys coming from your front door. You froze for a second looking for a sharp object to protect yourself from a possible break in and picked up the empty wine bottle and stood up. Your heart was beating so fast as you approached the door, fully expecting a burglar in front of you but instead, it was Ruben standing there with your keys in his hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” he said flinching.

“Ruben?” you said incredibly confused and slightly relieved. “What are you doing here?”

“I- um, you sent me a text and it was really weird I just wanted to check up on you.” he said.

“And you had to do it with my keys, couldn’t you just knock?” you angrily asked. You were convinced someone was here to hurt you.

“I’m sorry, I just, didn’t know if you’d open the door if you knew it was me.” you sighed loudly thinking it’s probably right.

“I’m sorry are you still planning to hit me?” he asked.

“Why?” you asked confused.

“You still have the bottle ready to be smashed on my head.” he pointed at it and you only now realized you never lowered your hand, still holding it up.

“Oh” you just said and placed the bottle on the counter.

You both stood there for a while not saying anything.

“So, how are you?”

You looked up at him, trying to decide whether to fight or not. Maybe it was the wine in you but you just didn’t have the energy to argue, you were hurt beyond repair but fighting meant getting into it and you couldn’t.

“I’m alright.” you said after a while. “How about you?”

“I’m also alright, thank you.”

“Look Ruben-

“Y/N I think we-

You both spoke at the same time.

“You go.” he politely said.

“Ruben thank you for checking on me but I was very drunk I mean I don’t even know what I wrote. Don’t worry I’m okay.” you said calmly. You couldn’t understand how you’re this calm but maybe this was your acceptance phase.

“I mean, to be honest, I also don’t know what you wrote.”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

He pulled out his phone and started reading the text out loud.

“Rubem I habe everythong I wish I was necer yor wagfln. I think it’s Ruben I hate everything I wish I was never your waffle but don’t ask me what waffle means because no idea.”

You started laughing without realizing this is the first time you genuinely laughed this whole week. He joined and you sat on your bar stools trying to decipher your text.”

“No I think it’s ‘you’re wagging’

“Why would you tell me I’m wagging? Was I wagging on the field today?” he asked faking being offended.

“Maybe you were, that’s what the drunk lady thought.”

You sat there laughing uncontrollably at your stupidity for a while when suddenly you felt thirsty.

“You want some wine?” you asked him.

“You know I shouldn’t.” he said but it was obvious he’d love some wine.

“That never stopped you.” you didn’t mean it like a jab but it still sounded like it.

You felt the air shift but didn’t want that, even if this was wrong it felt so in place and right that you didn’t want to end up in a fight. You were feeling like yourself again and as pathetic as it sounds, hoped he wouldn’t leave.

You poured two glasses of wine and started talking about anything and everything, you told him about your supervisor getting on your nerves and he filled you in about Kyle Walker’s situation but the topic never came to you and you hoped it wouldn’t. After some more glasses you were back to being drunker than drunk and Ruben was full on tipsy. He never admitted to it but you knew he was lightweight.

“Omg it’s 3 am I have to be at work in exactly 6 hours.” you winced thinking about the hangover you’ll feel tomorrow.

When Ruben didn’t respond, you looked up at him and found him already looking at you with an intense gaze.

“What?” you asked. “Is there something on my face?”

He just smiled and leaned in. You should back off, you should back off, you should back off your logical side tried to reming you but your body had other thoughts. You leaned in so much that your noses were touching now.

“Ruben” you whispered as a last attempt to stop yourself and him because you knew the moment his lips were on yours it was game over. It always was, your sexual tension was always there but he didn’t stop, instead crashed his lips into yours for a hungry kiss. It was a messy kiss full of unspoken feelings. Everything you couldn’t tell each other was a part of it but you couldn’t stop. You mentally tried but it was a lost battle, your body acted before you could think and you placed your hands in his hair meanwhile he held you by your waist and walked you to your bedroom without breaking the kiss.

You stopped kissing him when the backs of your legs hit the bed.

“Ruben we shouldn’t.” you pleaded once more but weren’t strong enough to protest for long. His eyes turned darker with every passing second and were boring into your soul. Every part of you wanted him, needed him and you knew he felt the same.

“I’ve missed you so much querida.” he mumbled and took his shirt off while sitting you down. You couldn’t help but stare, he was so beautiful and you were getting wetter by the second but he hadn’t even touched you.

This time you took the leap and pulled him onto the bed, once he was on you straddled him and started running your lips on his collarbone and the back of his ear. Your logic was already out of the window and you were left with your undeniable desire for Ruben. He was letting out some quiet moans and you couldn’t believe a man could sound so angelic.

The next morning you woke up to the sound of your alarm with a horrible headache, every part of your body was sore and you felt even more restless than the night before. You swung the duvet off your body but stopped when you felt someone next to you. You froze when you realized what happened last night and saw Ruben peacefully sleeping in the bed with you. Your memory started coming back in bits and pieces and you mentally face palmed yourself for letting this happen. He was in a relationship and you shouldn’t have done this, you were feeling horrible and your stomach dropped. You quickly gathered your clothes and hopped in and out of the shower.

After you got ready in the bathroom you slowly walked in your bedroom, a part of you was expecting him to be gone but the other part wanted him there forever. You were conflicted and still had to go to work quickly. You thought about waking him up but were afraid to confront Ruben so you slowly took your bag and exited your home leaving him in there.

You didn’t think you could feel worse than yesterday but turns out, everything is possible.

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thisss turned out so different than what i had in mind but i love ittt! as always any feedback is appreciated take care loves💕💕

[light-lanterne]

hi! below you can find a list of all my stories, in progress or otherwise, as well as some pertinent links pertaining to them all :] the emojis attached to each of these are the tags i use for each specific story~

✨ reply to this post if you'd like to be tagged whenever i post ✨

halloween stories

🪄 samhain alms — fluffy prompts to fulfil your spooky needs

I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII

🪦 walpurgis hexes — dark stories to inspire nightmarish creations

I | II | III | IV | V | VI

chaptered stories

🌷 the darkest eyes — ao3 || masterpost || paladibun's art

post-canon, mike-centric, outsider pov, mystery, mental health struggles status: hiatus || progress: 6/21 || 158.9k words

🕰️ the trees are growing restless — ao3 || masterpost

s4 rewrite, groundhog day au, time loop possession, mental health struggles status: hiatus || progress: 3/22 || 51.8k words

🐈‍⬛ maybe i was destined to — ao3 || masterpost (tba)

s5 speculation, witch and familiar au, soulmates, vecna targets mike status: semi-finished || progress: 1/3 || 6,666 words

future stories

🎻 4'33'' — summary

post-s3, reunion, hanahaki-esque, mutism, online friends, will pov status: wip || progress: 0/4

🕊️ sin deep, my darling angel — summary

angel & demon au, strangers to lovers, courting, idiots in love, will pov status: wip || progress: 0/13

💐 how many tears to nurture a rose — summary

flower shop / bookstore au, reunion, childhood friends to lovers, will is a monster status: wip || progress: 0/3

🔪 ...but here is one — summary || snippet (4k words)

serial killer au, runaways, road trip, dubious morality, mental health struggles status: wip || progress: 0.3/20

🚀 telomeres — summary

to the moon au, established relationship, aged-up, growing old together, will pov status: wip || progress: 0/7

🪁 chasing paradise — summary

angel & human au, achromatopsia, little mermaid-esque, side wheelclair status: wip || progress: 0/3

🐐 a sun to his moon — summary

arashi no yoru ni au, goat & wolf hybrids, forbidden love, secret relationship status: wip || progress: 0/7

🍊 au revoir, bien aimée — summary

18th century royalty au, mike is the king, will tries to scam him but falls in love status: wip || progress: 0/3

🔭 the tetris effect — summary

modern fantasy au, will is a star, mike has amnesia, strangers to lovers status: wip || progress: 0/7

🦊 le renard et la rose — summary

fantasy au, will is a witch, mike is a kitsune, enemies to lovers, soulmates status: wip || progress: 0/3

one-shots

🔨 anthropophagy — full story || alt. version || sequel || inspiration

post-s2, dark au, cannibal will, serial killer mike, messed up friends, will pov status: complete || length: 5.1k

🪞 alucinari — full story || inspiration (contains spoilers)

no upside down au, mental health struggles, hurt/comfort, mcd, will pov status: complete || length: 7.5k

🌊 48°52.6′s 123°23.6′w — full story || explanation

canon compliant, mental health struggles, character study, hurt/no comfort status: complete || length: 4.8k

short ideas

🥀 sleep token fics — short byler stories based on songs by my favourite band

general ideas and analysis

📺 media fics — a collection of stories inspired by random movies, shows and video games i enjoy

life is strange .......... idea fear street ................ idea tokyo ghoul ............. idea black butler ............. idea rule of rose .............. idea death stranding ..... idea assassin's creed ..... idea

🎼 song fics — a collection of stories based on random songs i like

der doppelgänger ................... idea naturträne ................................ idea der schauspieler ..................... idea tänzelnd wie flammen ........... idea ein mann und seine seele ..... idea der tod der liebe ………………… idea

🎀 ficlets — small stories that are complete in their current form, or that i'm unsure if i'll expand on

will's 7th birthday ... story | fluffyfangirl's art | fruity-cleric's art werebunny au .......... idea | kuumara's ficlet byers family ............. el loves animals | jonathan needs weed potential stories ...... victorian au | siren & sailor au discarded ideas ....... avatar au | vampire au | birthdaygate

[jageunyeoujari]

‘idea’ & self-knowledge as love as freedom

w thanks to @radiatingdyke​​ & henrik !!

so in a previous post, i talked abt spectacle & respect in criminal for context. now starting off w henrik’s thoughts re: plato:

"It’s honestly pretty ambiguous what Plato means by it- at least in the republic- The core theory is that ideal forms are a truer kind of reality than the shadows. The philosopher escapes a cave of shadows projected on the wall by a ruling class, the only “reality” they ever knew and were literally bound to. They crawl through a treacherous passage to find themselves face to face with the dazzling light of the sun which blinds them temporarily, and as their eyes adjust they find themselves in a forest and realize the shadow puppet of “tree” was not the real tree all along! For what the shadows are: Idk how developed popular media/conventional politics were at the time but we (America) based a lot of our shit on it so I think one strong possibility is we find ourselves in a modern allegory of the cave where the shadows dancing on the wall are the world as it’s told to us- through news education and policy and the “real” is personal experience and genuine community. Then shadows would then be actual reality as we know it, including the real trees and personal experience, a veil placed over us by metaphysical forces which can be lifted through Godwork to reveal the true nature of the inner workings of the universe. The last part of the allegory is that the philosopher returns to the cave to free the other prisoners and spread the light”

so while criminal is the revelation in the toxic cycle of the idol culture & mutual destruction & obsession are confused for love, idea is making the decision to learn what true love & connection is, leaving behind the suffocating expectations demanded by the industry, & in the process, become complete in his humanity.

so we first see taemin in jail, condemning himself for his role in the toxic parasocial relations of idol culture, and literally... calling himself out.... altho i would say that this:

in criminal is purgatory proper, the jail may be the end point of his journey there. he confesses his sins, his soul gets purified, & then next we see him in the bar which is confirmed to be heaven (which happens to look much like lee soo man's office) while the flashy models stare at taemin, the walking dead, the posh people in suits (likely executives) ignore him. 

so here we have taemin trying to fit in seemlessly in this world of the elites who have the highest level of control in the idol industry. here, he is assured his status as the best & now guaranteed to be free of pain... but on their terms. there is shallow comfort but nothing else. the others content w playing games & eating delicacies, surrounded by alcohol, but are contained to sitting, indulging in frivolities, & passively looking on but no chance of connection. the bar is just another form of intoxication, but unlike criminal where there is at least an illusion of attaining love, heaven is merely stagnant. this idealized heaven of the elites cannot give true freedom as it is based on sterility & exclusivity, just another form of social control. "the dangerous dream that swallowed me is proven by you." staying here would be another form of self-betrayal & denial of the love he seeks so he rebels against heaven through his dancing, an affirmation of his life.

taemin then being shocked that all these shadow versions of himself are not the truth... silvery dissolving forms... his identity fragmenting............ but still taemin still can't break away from the illusion that the adoration & fame he receives as an idol could be actually hurting him.

as @radiatingdyke has talked about, BoA's 'killing me' line is reminiscent of korean shamans channeling gods. significant that it is BoA who he channels as they are both similar, debuting at a very young age & have been massive stars ever since then. "you are my messiah" BoA cuts him off, speaking the truth. this isn't who he rly is or what he actually wants. he must face himself & the truth or he will die. 

the mirror steps are i think symbolic of plato's ladder of love. to my understanding, the ladder of love is basically about how the aim of life is the ascension of the soul to heaven. the gods can do this as a god's soul is in perfect balance w all the different aspects of itself which makes them necessarily wise & good. humans' souls are in disarray, however, & it is this conflict between all parts of the soul which makes it difficult for us to follow the gods to heaven. to do this, people have to understand the true Form of beauty, by climbing the ladder of love. the steps start from loving a body which one is attracted to due to physical beauty & by understanding the beauty of this body, one can then consider how the beauty of one body is found in all bodies. the progression goes on from loving more broadly until we come to the last step, love of knowledge & wisdom. now one is able to see the actual form of Beauty, bringing harmony to your soul. so in order to taemin to finally know peace within himself, he has to know how to love.

& the progression of the ladder implies for me that by first learning to care for others but understanding who they are in their completeness & beauty, you eventually are able to learn to care for yourself & see the beauty in your own soul. & on the flip side, the better able you care for yourself, the more you are able to care for others. i'll discuss this more when i go into my thoughts on act 2 as a whole but basically, the rest of act 2 has a truly warm & loving atmosphere when taemin speaks to the other. in comparison, act 1 presents his experience of 'love' as enmeshment, painful, confusing, losing his self of sense to cater to the desires of the other. there are feelings of obligation to stay in this destructive relationship bc that’s his prescribed role & anyway, any attention is better than none at all. 

ppl w a poor sense of self can readily suffer mistreatment for the sake of a semblance of connection, confusing obsession for love when what’s rly happening is actually cathexis, an investment of emotions. while care & affection can exist w cathexis, as does happen in fans’ relations w idols, this is not the same thing as love which liberates & cultivates growth in yourself & the other. fans’ obsession w idols quickly flipping to hate when idols stray from the designated persona of perfection is investment in that image but is not real love. in act 1, he does not understand the other clearly for what it is, destruction that must end, & the fact that he is suffering. without such awareness, he is incapable of truly giving & receiving love. 

& while act 2 does have similar themes of taking on other's pain, it becomes a stark contrast to act 1 bc he does so from a place of utter assurance of his identity & true self-love, not from the fear of being left alone. he loves himself for who he is so he is able to love for ourselves purely as well.

& as @radiatingdyke has said (& in much more detail than i can) the ladder reflecting the sky can also be a reference to indigenous korean beliefs where the sky represents the entire universe. the creator god is Hanulnim, literally sky god.  

 also, even tho NGDA as a whole is replete w western imagery & references & v catholic, the overarching narrative of the 2 albums don't feel western to me in that there never is a fight between good & evil. a typical western narrative would be more like there would the defeat of like 'criminal' taemin by 'good' taemin or an obvious redemption arc. & to me, idea doesn't read so much as he confronts & then accepts both the good & the bad in him but that he leaves behind these limited concepts altogether & instead connects back to the true essence of the universe & becomes free to be utterly himself.

he’s struggled so much over the course of his career w figuring out how to reconcile the duality of himself, what it means to be authentic as an idol, wishing for his true self to be seen & appreciated. it’s always been looking outward for that validation but skirting away from revealing the whole truth of himself... & idea is the final answer to all that. no more denial, repression, burning away of the past, configuration to other ppl’s desires, no more use of mystery as a defense against the fear of being rejected if people see him for who he really is. he accepts himself for who he is & that’s all that matters.

in classic gaytholic taem fashion, he compares himself to jesus + mary + other divinity in NGDA imagery but ultimately, taemin is done w being both a god & the condemned. “i’ve finally opened my eyes.” he’s never been anything but a human being & he’s showing us all the beauty in that.

[songmingisthighs]

[14.33] mingi × reader

⇀ turns out he's dating you because of a bet. how very... wattpad

"Y-you what?" You choked out when you heard Mingi's confession.

It would've been a regular date night for you both. Mingi is more of the outdoor date type. During your more than 3 months of dating, you only had a handful of indoor dates, and usually those were because either of you was not in the right mood. Of course cuddling your problems away while a shitty romcom or horror movie plays in the background would've been the perfect remedy.

But this time his behaviour is different. He didn't text like his normal, usual self. No excessive emojis, no selfies, no cheesy lines. So initially you thought he's not having a good day. Okay, that's fine.

Then when he was supposed to pick you up for your date, he changed the whole plan on the spot, insisting to stay inside. His expression showed sorrow, fear, regret?

Lastly, during the first hour of being inside, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Dead silence. While he'd usually blabber about his day and about his friends, he was barely sharing and when you converse with him, you barely got a reaction.

Turns out, the reason why he wanted to stay inside was to inform you about what heinous act he had done.

"I-I, I'm sorry, I need to tell you the truth because yesterday marked the 100th day which was the last day of the bet and I just feel so guilty," he scooted off his side of the couch to crouch in front of you who was blankly staring at the floor in front of you.

He shakily held your hands in his, "but I never lied about my feelings for you, they were as genuine as they can be-" "unlike our relationship," you croaked, cutting him off. When he heard your response, his heart dropped to his stomach.

Mingi suddenly felt like he's unable to speak anymore. His hands were still holding yours, thumb rubbing gently at the back of your hand. Surprisingly, you didn't pull away.

You were the first one to broke the tension by throwing him questions, "w-who," you cleared your throat, "who initiated the bet?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, he didn't know why you'd wanna know, "Wooyoung, he knew I had a tiny crush on you when we first met so he decided to use it against me, thinking that by dating you my crush would dissolve completely but it backfired, I lo-"

"Who else is involved?" You cut him off again, not letting him say the 'L' word which disappointed him to say the least.

"Everyone, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, San, and Jongho," he answered.

"How long was the bet supposed to last?"

"100 days, I went to the guys immediately after the clock struck 12 am, that's why I couldn't stay over after we celebrate yesterday,"

You took a deep breath before throwing him one last question.

"H-how much was I worth?"

Mingi wasn't sure he wanted to answer that question. But the determination in your eyes mixed with his fondness for you ultimately won over, because he wanted to be completely honest with you.

"350.000 won, 50k won each," he muttered, looking down on the floor.

Suddenly you smack him directly upside the head, but your action wasn't what surprised him. It was what you said afterwards.

"350.000 won!? Only that much!? Your friends are rich, you could've gotten so much more!!! 350.000 won didn't even cover the cost of the dates you took me to!" You yelled.

He lifted his head and stared at you with utter confusion in his eyes. He struggled to find the words to respond, because he thought you would've cried and kick him out. Not questioning the bet money he got.

His blinking eyes was clear indication that he didn't understand what you meant.

You sighed and crossed your arms, "you got duped out of the deal, Gi," "w-wha- you- you're not-" "don't get this wrong, I AM upset that you dated me because of a bet, but you wear your heart on your sleeve and I know you wouldn't fake your feelings,"

Somehow, your hands had reached forward and cupped his face in your hands, "and as it happens, my feelings for you are genuine ans I don't think it's gonna change because of the fact you had just revealed," you smiled at him.

At this point, he had teared up at how understanding you are of him.

Without wasting another second, he leaped and crash onto you to the couch, peppering kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

"Mingi stop!" You whined while giggling, not really wanting him to stop. He eventually stop and cup your face, "I don't know how I get so lucky with you. You could've dump me on the spot and set my stuff up on fire, but no, you... accept me just as is?" He then leaned in to kiss you fully on the mouth, "I love you," he mumbled against your lips.

It was the very first time he confessed that to you. You couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on your lips, mumbling 'I love you too' against his own lips. The reciprocation drove him to kiss you deeper.

But soon you pushed him away, leaving him pouting and unsatisfied. Before he could protest, you press a finger to his plump lips, "as much as I wanna make out with you right here, right now, we need to fix the bet,"

Mingi raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, not sure what you're trying to say.

You sat back up straight on the couch, making Mingi do the same before telling him your plan.

"Tell them you wanna go double or nothing, and remember, don't tell them that you've told me about the bet. The day after the 200th day, we'll do some big reveal to make them all feel like idiots, I might have to do a little research on that," you spoke excitedly.

Whilst you were talking, Mingi was looking at you with pure adoration and love.

He really is lucky to have you.

[wjbsart]

A complete, very long list of all GBoard-combinable emojis because I can't find one anywhere.

Ok so for those who haven't seen my stuff (or have only seen my Bionicle posts), I sometimes emoji mashup redraws, with the recent fourth one using GBoard-based fusions. Frustratingly, there's no actual list of fusion-compatible emojis, so I'll attempt to compile them, in a list below the "Read More" thing:

Green/▢ = compatible with fusion Blue/△ = only works with certain emojis Red/◯ = not compatible with fusion

Also, since other people's terms for specific emojis might not match up with mine, I recommend using CTRL+F and then doing this to find the specific emoji you're looking for. This list is in the order presented in GBoard's Emoji menu. Some of them will be generic unicode symbols, I don't know how to change that, sorry for the inconvenience. Also, I won't aknowledge multi-category Emoji.

Smileys and Emoticons

😀Open-mouthed smile▢

😃Wide-eyed smile▢

😄Closed-eyed smile▢

😁Closed-eyed grin▢

😆Laughing▢

😅Sweating smile▢

😂Cry-laughing▢

🤣Cry-ROFLing▢

😭Crying▢

😗Kissing▢

😙Kissing, closed eyes▢

😚Kissing, blushing▢

😘Kissing, winking w/ heart▢

🥰Surrounded by hearts▢

😍Heart-eyes▢

🤩Star-eyes▢

🥳Noisemaker and party-hat▢

🤗Hugging▢

🙃Upside-down▢

🙂Smile▢

☺Blushing, smiling▢

😊Blushing▢

😏Looking off to the side▢

😌Relieved▢

😉Winking▢

🤭Hand over mouth▢

😶Nightmare fuel Mouthless▢

😐Neutral▢

😑-_-▢

😔Pensive▢

😋Licking lips▢

😛Tongue out▢

😝Tongue out, eyes closed▢

😜Tongue out, winking▢

🤪Tongue out, wide-eyed▢

🤔Hmmm▢

🤨Suspicious▢

🧐Monocle▢

🙄Rolling eyes▢

😒Unamused▢

😤Snorting▢

😠Angry▢

😡Angry, red▢

🤬Swearing▢

☹Frown▢

🙁Frown but less▢

😕Confused▢

😟Distraught▢

🥺Pleading▢

😳AWOOGA Flushed▢

😬Yikes▢

🤐Zip▢

🤫Shushing▢

😰Distraught, sweating▢

😧Distraught, shocked▢

😦Distraught, neutral▢

😮Open mouth▢

😯Open mouth, surprised▢

😲Shocked▢

😱Horrified▢

🤯Your head asplode Mind blown▢

😢Crying, single tear▢

😥Crying, less sad▢

😓Sweating▢

😞Dissapointed▢

😖Pained▢

😣Persevering▢

😩Weary▢

😫Tired▢

🤤Drooling▢

😴Sleeping▢

😪Sleeping but different?▢

🌛Left-facing moon▢

🌜Right-facing moon▢

🌚New moon face◯

🌝Full moon face◯

🌞The sun▢

🤢Queasy▢

🤮Vomiting▢

🤧Sneezing▢

🤒Unwell▢

🤕Bandaged▢

🥴Drunk▢

😵Dizzy▢

🥵Hot▢

🥶Cold▢

😷Masked up▢

😇Angel▢

🤠yee haw▢

🤑Money-tongue▢

😎Cool▢

🤓Nerd▢

🤥Lying▢

🤡Clown▢

👻Ghost▢

💩Poop▢

👽Ayy lmao Alien▢

🤖Robot▢

🎃Jack-o-Lantern▢

😈Demon 1▢

👿Demon 2▢

👹Oni◯

👺Tengu◯

☠Skull and crossbones▢

🔥Fire▢

💫Star with trail▢

⭐Star▢

🌟Star with bits▢

✨Stars▢

⚡Lightning◯

💥Explosion◯

💯100△

💢Anime anger symbol◯

💨Steam▢

💦Sweat Droplets▢

💤Zzz▢

🕳Hole▢

🎉Party popper▢

🎊Confetti ball▢

😺😸😹😻😼😽🙀😿😾Literally all the "cat in different emotions" emojis▢

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤Literally all the coloured hearts△

♥Heart suit▢

💘Heart with arrow▢

💝Heart with ribbon▢

💖Shiny heart▢

💗Growing heart▢

💓Beating heart▢

💞Swirling hearts▢

💕Two hearts▢

💌Love letter▢

💟Heart in square▢

❣Heart exclamation mark▢

💔Broken heart▢

💋Kiss▢

👥Two silhouettes◯

👤Silhouette◯

🗣Talking silhouette◯

👣Footprints◯

🧠Brain◯

🦠Microbe▢

🦷Tooth◯

🦴Bone◯

💀Skull▢

👀Eyes◯

👁Eye▢

👄Lips◯

👅Tongue◯

👃👂🦶🦵💪👍👎👏🙌👐Every other body part and hand gesture, seriously this isn't even all of them◯

People

Seriously, I don't know why none of the people-category emojis are Fusion-compatible. Let's just move on.◯

Animals and Nature

💐Bunch of flowers▢

🌹Rose▢

🥀Wilted rose◯

🌷Tulip▢

🌺Hibiscus flower◯

🌸Cherry blossom▢

🏵Rosette◯

🌻Sunflower◯

🌼Daisy▢

💮White flower◯

🍂Falling leaves◯

🍁Maple leaf◯

🌾Rice plants◯

🌱Seedling◯

🌿Herb◯

🍃Falling leaves again◯

☘3-leaf clover◯

🍀4-leaf clover◯

🌵Cactus▢

🌴Palm tree◯

🌳Deciduous tree◯

🌲Coniferous tree▢

🏞National park◯

⛰Mountain◯

🌊Wave◯

🌬Wind◯

🌀Tornado symbol◯

🌁Foggy scene◯

🌫Fog▢

🌪Tornado▢

☃Snowman (with snow)▢

⛄Snowman (without snow)▢

❄Snowflake

🏔Mountain with snow◯

🌡Thermometer◯

🌋Volcano◯

🏜Desert◯

🏝Desert island◯

🏖Beach◯

🌅Sunrise/set (water)◯

🌄Sunrise/set (mountains)◯

☀Sun▢

🌤Sun with cloud◯

⛅Sun and cloud◯

🌥Cloud with sun◯

🌦Sun and cloud with rain◯

☁Cloud▢

🌨Snowcloud◯

⛈Stormcloud◯

🌩Thundercloud◯

🌧Raincloud◯

💧Drop◯

☔Umbrella with rain◯

🌈Rainbow▢

✨Sparkles▢

🌙Crescent Moon◯

☄Comet◯

🌠Shooting star▢

🌌Milky Way◯

🌉Bridge◯

🌆City in the evening▢

🌃City at night▢

🌍🌏🌎Earth▢

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘The moon◯

🙈🙉🙊🐵Monkeys, wise or not▢

🦁Lion face▢

🐯Tiger face◯

🐱Cat face▢

🐶Dog face◯

🐺Wolf face◯

🐻Bear face▢

🐨Koala face▢

🐼Panda face▢

🐹Hamster face◯

🐭Mouse face◯

🐰Rabbit face▢

🦊Fox face◯

🦝Raccoon face◯

🐮Cow face◯

🐷Pig face▢

🐽Pig nose▢

🐗Boar head◯

🦓Zebra head◯

🦄Unicorn head▢

🐴Horse head◯

🐸Frog face◯

🐲Dragon head◯

🦎Lizard◯

🐉Dragon◯

🦖T-Rex◯

🦕Diplodocus◯

🐢Turtle▢

🐊Crocodile◯

🐍Snake◯

🐁Mouse▢

🐀Rat◯

🐇Rabbit▢

🐈Cat▢

🐩Poodle◯

🐕Dog◯

🐅Tiger◯

🐆Leopard◯

🐎Horse◯

🐖Pig▢

🐄Cow◯

🐂Bull◯

🐃Water buffalo◯

🐏Ram◯

🐑Sheep◯

🐐Goat▢

��Deer▢

🦙Llama▢

🦘Kangaroo◯

🐘Elephant◯

🦏Rhinoceros◯

🦛Hippopotamus◯

🦒Giraffe◯

🐒Monkey▢

🦍Gorilla◯

🐪🐫Camels◯

🐿Squirrel (why does the squirrel of all things have a Unicode symbol?)◯

🦡Badger◯

🦔Hedgehog▢

🦇Bat▢

🐓Cockerel/rooster◯

🐔Chicken◯

🐣🐥🐤Chicks◯

🐦Bird▢

🦉Owl▢

🦅Eagle◯

🦜Parrot◯

🕊Dove◯

🦢Swan◯

🦚Peacock◯

🦃Turkey◯

🦆Duck◯

🐧Penguin◯

🦈Shark◯

🐬Dolphin◯

🐋🐳Whales◯

🐟Fish▢

🐠Tropical fish◯

🐡Pufferfish◯

🦐Prawn◯

🦞Lobster◯

🦀Crab◯

🦑Squid◯

🐙Octopus▢

🦂Scorpion▢

🕷Spider▢

🕸Spiderweb◯

🐚Shell◯

🐌Snail▢

🐜Ant◯

🦗Grasshopper◯

🦟Mosquito◯

🐝Bee▢

🐞Ladybird◯

🦋Butterfly◯

🐛"Bug" yeah sure ok◯

🐾Pawprints◯

Food and Drink

🍓Strawberry▢

🍒Cherry◯

🍎Red apple◯

🍉Watermelon◯

🍑Peach◯

🍊Orange◯

🥭Mango◯

🍍Pineapple▢

🍌Banana◯

🍋Lemon▢

🍈Melon◯

🍏Green apple◯

🍐Pear◯

🥝Kiwi◯

🍇Grapes◯

🥥Coconut◯

🍅Tomato◯

🌶Chili▢

🍄Mushroom◯

🥕Carrot◯

🍠Sweet potato◯

🌽Corn◯

🥦Broccoli◯

🥒Cucumber◯

🥬Lettuce◯

🥑Avocado▢

🍆Aubergine◯

🥔Potato◯

🌰Nut◯

🥜Peanuts◯

🍞Bread▢

🥐Croissant◯

🥖Baguette▢

🥯Bagel◯

🥞Pancakes◯

🍳Frying pan◯

🥚Egg (somehow)◯

🧀Cheese▢

🥓Bacon◯

🥩Meat◯

🍗Chicken leg◯

🍖Anime meat◯

🍔Burger◯

🌭Hotdog▢

🥪Sandwich◯

🥨Pretzel◯

🍟Chips◯

🍕Pizza◯

🌮Taco◯

🌯Wrap◯

🥙Stuffed flatbread◯

🥘Paella◯

🍝Spaghetti◯

🥫Can◯

🥣Bowl◯

🥗Salad◯

🍲Pot of food◯

🍛Curry◯

🍜Noodles◯

🍣Sushi◯

🍤Fried prawn◯

🥡Takeaway container◯

🍚Cooked rice◯

🍱Bento◯

🥟Dumpling◯

🍢Oden◯

🍙Jelly Donut Rice ball◯

🍘Rice cracker◯

🍥Fishcake◯

🍡Dango◯

🥠Fortune cookie◯

🥮Moon cake◯

🍧Shave ice◯

🍨Ice cream◯

🍦See above◯

🥧Pie◯

🍰Cake slice◯

🍮Custard mate what kinda custard have you been eating, this is clearly a créme caramel◯

🎂Birthday cake▢

🧁Cupcake▢

🍭Lollipop◯

🍬Boiled sweet◯

🍫Chocolate◯

🍩Donut◯

🍪Cookie◯

🍯Honey◯

🧂Salt◯

🍿Popcorn◯

🥤Soft drink◯

🥛Milk◯

🍼Baby bottle◯

🍵Green tea◯

☕Coffee▢

🍺Beer◯

🍻Beers, plural◯

🥂Champagne glasses◯

🍾Champagne◯

🍷Red red wine◯

🥃Whiskey◯

🍸Martini◯

🍹Cocktail◯

🍶Sake◯

🥢Chopsticks◯

🍴Knife and fork▢

🥄Spoon◯

🔪Kitchen knife◯

🍽Plate▢

Travel and Places

🛑🎡Everything from the stop sign to Ferris wheel◯

🎠Merry-go-round horse▢

🎪🏕Everything from circus tent to campsite◯

🌇City at sunset yes I'm surprised as you are▢

🛤Train tracks◯

🛣Road◯

🗺Map◯

🗾Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's beautifuul!◯

🌐Globe with meridian lines▢

💺Plane seat◯

🧳Luggage◯

Activities and Events

🎈Balloon▢

🎀Bow◯

🎁Present◯

🎇Sparkler◯

🎆Fireworks◯

🧨Dynamite Firecracker◯

🧧Red envelope◯

🎐Wind chime◯

🎏Fish streamers◯

🎎Japanese dolls (that's what the emoji's called, don't @ me with the actual name for them)◯

🎑Moon viewing ceremony◯

🎍Pine decoration◯

🎋Tanabata◯

🎄Christmas tree▢

🎗Ribbon△

🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖Medals◯

🏆Trophy◯

📣Megaphone◯

🥅Goal◯

⚽⚾🥎🏀🏐🏈🏉🎾🏸🥍🏏🏑🏒SPORTS◯

🥌Curling stone◯

🛷Rosebud Sled◯

🎿Ski◯

⛸Skate◯

⛳Golf-hole◯

🎯Target◯

🏹Bow◯

🥏Frisbee◯

🎣Fishing rod▢

🎽Running shirt◯

🥋Martial arts uniform◯

🥊Boxing glove◯

🎱8-ball◯

🏓Ping-pong◯

🎳Bowling◯

♟Chess◯

🧩Puzzle piece◯

🎮Controller◯

🕹Joystick◯

👾Videogame alien◯

🔫Gun◯

🎲Dice◯

🎰Slot machine◯

🎴Flower playing card◯

🀄Mahjong tile◯

🃏Joker◯

🎩Top hat◯

📷📸Camera◯

🖼Painting◯

🖌Paintbrush◯

🖍Crayon◯

🧵String◯

🧶Wool◯

🎼🎵🎶Music▢

🎷🎺🎸🎻🥁Instruments◯

🎤Mic◯

🎧Headphones▢

🎚🎛🎙📻Assorted audio stuff◯

📺TV◯

📼VHS◯

📹Camcorder◯

📽Projector◯

🎥Film camera◯

🎞Film◯

🎬Clapperboard◯

🎭Comedy and tragedy masks◯

🎫🎟Tickets◯

Objects

📱🧻Everything from smartphone to toilet roll◯

🧸Teddy bear▢

🧷🧢Everything from safety pin to baseball cap◯

👑Crown▢

🎒💍Everything from backpack to ring◯

💎Diamond▢

💄👓Everything from lipstick to glasses◯

🕶Sunglasses▢

🥽📁Everything from goggles to folder◯

🕶Newspaper▢

🗞🔎Everything from rolled-up newspaper to right-pointing magnifying glass◯

🔮Crystal ball▢

🧿🔓Everything from Nazar amulet to open lock◯

Symbols

There are no compatible non-repeated Emoji here.◯

Flags

Aaaaand none here either.◯

Feel free to let me know if I got anything wrong.

[writemekpop]

Oops! I Did It Again | Dong Sicheng (Winwin)

Pairing: Dong Sicheng (Winwin) x Reader

Summary: If Winwin ever found about your huge crush on him, you would die about embarrassment. One day, a tiny slip up turns your world upside down. All of a sudden, you’re forced to face up to your feelings for the school’s heartthrob. How will your story end? 

Genre: High school AU

Words: 1.2k

You turned your phone off and tilted the screen ever so slightly, trying to catch the reflection of the students in the lunch table behind you, moving it carefully till it frames his face.

Winwin’s perfect eyes are creased in a laugh, straight white teeth revealed in a precious moment of excitement. Soft brown curls brush his eyes and his striped tie hangs lazily around his neck. You know each and every soft contour of Winwin’s cheeks, that jawline so smooth it could have been hand-crafted by angels.

You could stare at Winwin every lunchtime – and you would, were it not for your best friend Mark keeping you in check. But he’s stuck in orchestra today, and you’re secretly thankful for the alone time you plan to spend staring at your crush.

Winwin’s face disappears as a text lights up your phone screen. It’s Mark.

‘orchestra is sooooo boring. wuu2?’

While you’re racking your brains for a believable lie, he texts you again.

‘you better not be sitting there staring at W’

Damn it! He knew you too well. You check your phone reflection again to watch as Winwin brushes away an effortlessly styled curl that’s fallen into his face, his perfect lips pouting for just a second.

You realise you’ve forgotten to answer Mark’s text. You hurry to think of something to say – nothing annoys Mark more than a slow reply. Your fingers fly over the screen, as you trust autocorrect to handle your hasty errors.

‘boi its been three yrs ok? u should be used to my staring at winwin by now :) cant a girl have a crush?????’

You could have denied your obsession, but Mark would have seen straight through you. It’s useless to deny that Winwin is all you think of.

For the millionth time, you replay the first time you laid your eyes on Winwin in your head. It was an achingly hot afternoon, and Winwin was in the finals of the school tennis tournament. You watched him play for hours, not a hint of tiredness in his handsome face, despite the sweat streaming down it. When he lost by an inch, he just flashed a charming smile and strutted away like the tennis court was a runway. He was like a dream to you.

You read back the message you sent to Mark, expecting to see a teasing remark about your secret crush. But to your surprise, the text hasn’t even been read yet. Something feels off – Mark always replies within seconds. Has his phone been confiscated or something?

You read back over your message. It has definitely gone through, but apparently the last text Mark sent to you was,

“Thanks for the book you lent me, it was really interesting”

Wait a second.

Your eyes scan over the previous texts, nervousness sending your heart racing. The messages are polite, impersonal, spread out over months rather than minutes. Instead of strings of emojis and typos, they’re filled with neat punctuation and try-hard jokes. You start to feel a little dizzy.

You don’t need to see the contact name to know it wasn’t Mark you sent that text to.

It was Winwin.

Those six letters burn into your eyes.

Thankfully Winwin hasn’t read the text yet. Why did you say you had a crush on him!? Soon enough, he’ll find out everything, and you’re powerless to stop it.

A chill spreads over your skin. You picture Winwin’s cold, confused reply – why did you have to mention staring at him all the time?

Your heart pounds painfully as you think about which school you’ll have to transfer to once your secret’s out. Could you play your crush off as a joke? A dare? You pray Winwin won’t turn around from his seat at the lunch table and realise how close you’re sitting to him.

Suddenly, you get an idea. You turn your phone screen off, tilting the blackened screen till Winwin enters the reflection again. You can just make out his own phone placed on the lunch table beside him. What if… you could delete the text off his phone before he got the chance to read it?

You know it’s risky, but you’re desperate. You can simply walk up to him whilst holding your lunch tray, slip his phone under your plate and delete the message. Winwin will never notice.

It’s now or never. You wipe your clammy hands on your skirt and stand up. Though you’d rather crawl under your duvet, you pick up your tray and start taking measured steps towards Winwin’s table.

Your knuckles go white with the effort of gripping your tray.

This is the moment.

Winwin’s phone gleams like onyx, just close enough to grab. You ease your hand off your tray, stretching it discreetly towards the phone…

Someone grabs your wrist in a vice-grip, sending your tray crashing to the ground.

The buzz of lunchroom voices fades to silence.

Winwin has your wrist in his hand and is glaring at you with brows furrowed. A hushed, judgmental ‘oooh’ spreads through the room, a unanimous recognition of your embarrassment.

Hot tears pinch at your eyes, moments from erupting in front of the whole school.

Upon recognising you, Winwin’s grip loosens, his expression switching to one of bewilderment. His hand doesn’t leave yours, though. Every eye in the cafeteria is trained on you. You have to say something, quick.

Then, something happens that takes you completely by surprise.

Winwin crouches down to the floor and starts picking up your untouched food and placing it back on your tray, eyes fixed sternly on the ground.

You crouch down too, grateful for the chance to hide from your classmates’ stares. “What were you doing with my phone?” he mutters in your direction.

Though he sounds far from friendly, your heart leaps at the sound of Winwin’s voice. How can you possibly explain? The idea of confessing your feelings is about as appetising as the school lasagne.

A mortifying silence stretches between the two of you.

You realise your hands are shaking so much that you can barely pick up your food. Winwin clears his throat, expecting an explanation, and the awkwardness is suffocating.

He’s not even angry anymore. His brows are furrowed, head tilted in…worry. You start to feel sick. You can’t take this one second longer.

Before you realise what you’re doing, you sprint out of the hall, stumbling, tripping on your laces. You hear a wave of whispers rolling through the cafeteria behind you. You don’t look back.

You dash through the hallway as you scan the doorways for somewhere to hide. Winwin’s glaring frown is plastered in your memory. Your deepest secret is out, and you were too much of a coward to even explain yourself. Any chance you had with him is gone.  

Suddenly, something stops you mid-sprint.

It’s a buzz in your pocket. Could it be a message from Winwin?

You pull your phone out, the glass slipping on your trembling hands. You cringe at your idiotic accidental message that started this mess. But to your surprise, a newer message burns into your eyes.

You grasp at the wall to support you, dizzy in disbelief at Winwin’s message. You bring your phone closer to your face, squinting at the inexplicable, beautiful words.

‘Why did you run off like that?

I didn’t get the chance to say…

I like you too’

[trashfor-imagines]

The Music Series: Haikyū Edition! | 2

21 ft. Oikawa x Reader

Summary: You were always on and off with Oikawa in high school, but it was clear you were in love. However, it was hard knowing you would barely make the top three in his life. Warnings: None, really. A seasoning of angst, for taste. Spoilers: If you’re only caught up on the anime, this story mentions what happens to the characters in the manga after high school and their professional lives.

-

“Toru! There’s a difference between putting volleyball first and just not calling me to say you needed to cancel our date. You straight up didn’t show!” you yelled, tears welling in your eyes. You willed them not to fall. “I know I’m not your number one priority, no one is, but for once can you at least act like you mean it when you say I’m - a - priority?”

He stood there silently in the living room of his apartment feeling small and terrible. He left you waiting in the rain for a date that he wasn’t going to show up to. Again. The coach had extended practice and it didn’t cross his mind to tell you, simply excited to play more. This was the same old fight since high school and he knew he should have known better by now. He had always made volleyball a priority and you honestly didn’t mind - he knew that, but being young and dumb and incapable of communication, he’d always tell everyone you broke up with him because you thought he was obsessed with the sport and not because he was incapable of thinking of others’ needs. Iwaizumi had always told him he was a fool when it came to you and honestly he wished his best friend was there to remind him of what to do to fix this.

“You’ve had so many chances. You don’t respect me and I can’t do this. Call me when you figure out how to dial my number. Or don’t. You probably won’t.”

You slammed the door shut and it absolutely destroyed you to go home alone that night.

 “‘Hit it until it breaks.’ Huh. Just like your relationship,” Takeru snickered at you as he looked at an old sports magazine in the dessert cafe you were at. He found an old interview of Toru in it. “My uncle’s an idiot. I’m sure he’ll call you soon, big sis.”

It’d been two weeks since you broke up with Toru and you’ve heard nothing. Not even a blip on social media. Feeling bad about yourself, combined with the fact it was summer break, you went home to Miyagi for some R&R. You had a few things for Toru’s mom that you’d been collecting so you stopped by to drop it off. Takeru just happened to be staying there for the week and asked if you’d take him out to do something. Now you were sitting at a cafe having kakigori and honestly his company was incredible, despite being almost 11 years younger than you.

“I can’t believe my only friend right now is Toru’s 9 year old nephew,” you sighed softly. Your college friends were busy with their jobs, internships, and extra curricular activities that they hardly had time to sit on a phone call let alone come over to watch you cry over Oikawa Toru for the hundredth time. You weren’t even going to try calling Iwaizumi about it. Last time you asked his childhood best friend to knock some sense into the man, he simply replied back with an upside down smiley face emoji. What the hell did that even mean?

Takeru’s cheeks puffed up and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Hey! I’m almost 10! And I can leave if you’re going to be like that. I swear, you’re just as bad as uncle.”

“Hey. No swearing of anything,” you reprimanded him. “And don’t go.”

“Fine, but only because I like you.”

“So... got a girlfriend yet?” you teased, changing the topic.

“Big sis, I know we Oikawas are good looking, but aren’t you a little old for me?” he deadpanned.

Your face lit up red. “You little brat! I wasn’t asking for me!”

School was starting up next week so you went back after a couple of days home. The Oikawa family actually cried when you told them you were going back, having missed seeing you almost every day like when you were in high school. They were an incredible family with their own quirks who loved each other so much. It was similar to your own.

It was Sunday afternoon and you were cleaning your apartment when you got a phone call from Toru’s mom, asking if you’d talked to her son today.

“No, I’m afraid we still haven’t spoken. Is something wrong? Do I need to get to him?” you asked, panic levels rising in your voice.

“No, no, my sweet daughter. Nothing like that,” she sighed softly. “He should really be the one to tell you this, but Takeru said not a chance. He was drafted as a setter for Club Atlético San Juan today. My son’s going to Argentina.”

You dropped your phone in shock, the noise of it clattering to the floor interrupting your short meltdown. Quickly picking up the phone, you apologized before asking questions. “When is he going? W-what about school? And you and the family?”

‘And me?’ you wanted to ask.

Carefully, you listened to every detail she could give you. Your heart was so heavy you were sure you’d sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Time passed painfully. Days turned to months. Soon it was a new year. Then it was graduation. You started a job as a graphic designer that allowed you to work remotely and you did freelance photography, often shooting for travel magazines. You moved home to Miyagi to live with your parents when you weren’t traveling, cutting out unnecessary expenses. It wasn’t smart to have your own place when you weren’t going to use it for 3/4 of the year. The truth was, life was lonely without Toru around. Sometimes you found your vision blurring with tears whenever your phone pinged as a new article featuring the setter was published, or when you let your mind wander to old memories.

You were in Australia when June came around. Life had been pretty exciting for you since April, picking up a photo journalism job for National Geographic touring Southeast Asia and Australia. You’d briefly gotten away from thoughts of Toru when you received a photo late one night from Iwaizumi of Toru and that cute little tangerine from Karasuno on the beach by a volleyball net. Apparently they ran into each other in Rio

(Y/N): Thanks Iwa. Iwaizumi: Np.

After Australia, you went home for a few weeks before you were on a flight to Bolivia to capture the Uyuni Salt Flat. It didn’t take too long to complete the job and you found yourself sitting in your hotel room and scrolling through Toru’s social media. Selfies on him throwing up peace signs, his teammates, sunsets, food, nothing out of the ordinary filled his feed. You didn’t scroll for long though; photos of the two of you would start appearing.

A notification pinged on your phone and your brows furrowed. It was his birthday tomorrow. Setting down your phone, you packed your bag. You were going home in a few hours.

While waiting for your flight, you wondered if that notification was a sign to call him. You stared at his number, unsure. Was it even his number still? You probably locked and unlocked your phone thirty times before setting it to airplane mode. It was time to board. The almost the entire flight home was sleepless as the need to call him grew and grew.

By the time you made it to Japan with over a day and a half of flying due to inconveniently timed layovers, his birthday was over. You wanted to look at his Instastory to see what he did. It was his 21st birthday. He’d been excited for that one because it meant he could “drink anywhere in the world.”

When you got home you unpacked and went about your day. It was midnight when you went to the rooftop terrace of your parents’ house and sat on one of the couches. You called stared at Toru’s contact photo for thirty minutes before you called, pressing the phone to your ear and waiting.

“(Y/N)?” You bit your lip, words suddenly leaving you. “(Y/N), are you there?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m here. Happy birthday, Toru. Sorry I’m a day late.”

“That’s okay, and thank you. It’s good to hear your voice.” His sounded sweet and gentle. There was a hint of a sleep as well, making you laugh quietly. Definitely partied. Definitely just woke up.

“It’s good to hear yours as well. So how was it? Turning 21.” You pinched your thigh out of nervousness.

“It was nice. My teammates took me out to a club. Definitely drank too much and stayed up later than I should have. Iwa would have been pissed.” There was a playfulness in his tone.

“Wow, wish I had been there.”

“Me too, (Y/N). I’m sure you would have done something cooler though. You’re really good at that stuff.”

You laughed lightly, “Well, you know me. I definitely already had a plan for your 21st when you turned 20.”

He laughed as well, boyish and familiar. “Really? What was your plan then?”

“I’d have thrown you a surprise party; invited Iwaizumi and your old teammates, our friends from college. The theme would have been Around the World. I would have set up a photo booth. We’d have drinks from different countries to try, play different drinking games, and dress like tourists.” Your vision began to blur and your voice wavered. “We’d stay up so late that-” You stopped mid sentence, covering your mouth with your hand as you tried to swallow your sobs.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” He sounded so concerned it killed you.

Sniffling, you wiped at your eyes furiously. “No. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. My whole family’s been on me since we... You know. They call me all the time to tell me what you’re up to and where you’re going next. They really love your postcards and little souvenirs. Seriously... Thanks for looking over them.”

“Of course. I mean, your mom calls me daughter,” you laughed sadly.

“Yeah, she does, doesn’t she.” He paused and the conversation lulled for a moment. Clearing his throat, he spoke up again, “I’ll be home next week if you’re in Miyagi. It’s just a quick visit.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

“Okay.” You had so much more you wanted to say, but you wished him good night instead.

“Good night.”

Days passed and you wondered when he’d be home. You hadn’t heard from him since that phone call and you weren’t going to bother the Oikawas over this. His original plan was probably to come home and see his family. You only became a part of it because you called him. You had to be patient. If you fit into his plans, then you fit into them. You couldn’t force it.

It was Saturday morning when the doorbell rang. You were still in your pajamas when you answered the door, speechless to see Toru standing there with your favorite flowers in his hand. He smiled wide. “Let’s go out, (Y/N).”

Letting him in, you told him to make himself at home while you got ready. It didn’t take you long as you put together a cute new outfit you’d gotten the other day in town. Applying light make up, you checked your hair before heading downstairs.

The two of you walked into town, going to a cafe that you both often frequented throughout high school. He ordered your usual and it was a small crumb of relief to know that he still remembered something as trivial as a drink order. The two of you sat quietly, hands cradling cups, observing each other and taking your appearances. You'd both evolved in over a year. Toru had always been capable of being serious if need be, but his default settings were usually stuck at high school drama queen levels. He was definitely more mature and he’d always been attractive, but he oozed sex appeal right now and you wondered if it was because you were already biased towards him. No, you knew what it was. He had more confidence.

“I guess I should explain what happened. I called Iwaizumi that night after you left. He was pissed it was so late. He called me an idiot, told me stop wasting your time and grow up. I hadn’t told you about it, but I was struggling with a few things. Remember Jose Blanco?”

You nodded, sipping from your cup. He and Toru connected in high school when Toru wasn’t sure about what to do with volleyball anymore. He’d helped so much and was a great mentor.

“I was talking to him about a few things that were on my mind. Then you and I broke up. He ended up talking to some people and I got a call that I was going to play for San Juan. I got swept up with interviews and press statements and moving. The next thing I knew, I was half way across the world with no idea how to tell you I was starting my overseas career earlier than planned. I decided it was best I didn’t call you. I mean, we broke up because I didn’t know how to include you in my life the way you deserve.”

Sliding your hand across the table, you let your finger tips brush against his hand. Instantly he held your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles lovingly. Tears welled in your eyes. You’d waited for so long for Toru to finally see you completely and acknowledge what it was that he spent so many years of your youth apologizing for.

“Not having you there with me this past year was so hard. It felt like not breathing. I still love you, (Y/N), and if you can forgive me, I’d really like to make it work this time.”

Nodding your head, you sniffed, a teary but happy smile on you face as you wiped the corners of your eyes. “I love you, Toru. Let’s make it work.”

-

tag list: @hihiq​

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[stellarbisexual]

S2E2

“Goodbye Mike” oh dear, I feel some BMW angst coming

ok nvm we’re just finding out what happened to my girl eleven, we’re good

hmm why is supernatural horror imagery always so vaginal hmm

f me up with them mileven feels !!

SKIP INTRO? AGAIN? You clearly don’t know me yet, Season 2. I watch intros til the cows come home. (Did you see me and the Sopranos?)

Awwwwww poor Eleven just wants to like be a kid and be out in the wold with BMW, LET HER LIVE

Haha Daddy Hopper is Over It (TM)

“Promise?” *streaming tears emoji*

o shit my gay son will doesn’t want to be overprotected so now he’s lying and shit

ok i love dustin’s mama

AND LUCAS’ LITTLE SISTER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

hahahaha classic BMW in that pic

holy shit these nerds singing the theme song

“I specifically didn’t agree to Winston” haahahahaha ACCURATE

Oh noes. these poor kids. 

Aww, Joyce/Hopper, such OTP.

Damn that Barb PTSD creepin’ up on Nancy, hoo boy

“Is that why you’re wearing proton packs?” lmfao i love max already

LOL I love Lucas so much.

Oh no, Eleven is watching TV. Ooh catch that Susan Lucci shit. That’s the good shit.

Oof, my bb girl had to eat squirrels and shit? <3

Da fuq is happening wit deez pumpkins doe

Pumpkin Conspiracy: great band name

JFC poor Max... :(

“At least he doesn’t treat me different.” My poor gay son

Yas Jonathan go to the dumb party

Snap this high school party LIT son

Wait Max’s bro is named Billy and bears a striking resemblance to a young Rob Lowe? I think they based him on Billy in St. Elmo’s Fire and I AM ABOUT IT (even tho he a dick)

Sean Astin’s night with Joyce lit too tho (not)

Ugh poor Joyce she’s just trying to be a good mama

“If I get another Three Musketeers, I’m going to kill myself” SAME

O H N O ELEVEN IS GOING TO BE S O U P S E T

These Eleven flashbacks are giving me life friends

omfg Dustin and Lucas are such fuckin nerds <3

ho shit BYELER MOMENT #3

omg MY POOR GAY SON

(also could we be coding mike as more bisexual with both EL and WILL yelling for him in the upside down liiiiiiiiiike)

“I’M GONNA GET YOU HOME OK?” ARE YOU ACTUALLY EFFING IDDING ME i’m screaming this is gonna spawn ALL THE BYELER FIC friends

haha shoutout to raggedy anne and andy making out at the HS party

I feel like this drunken nancy monologue is going to spawn hella memes

POOR STEEB OMFG w h y

BYELER FUCK ME UPPPPPPPPPP (ps finn is fucking huge on that couch ahahaha)

“Well if we’re going crazy, we’ll both go crazy together, right?”

I JUST TORE OFF MY HEADPHONES WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

BRB REWINDING THE SHIT OUT OF THAT SHIT

No offense but Mike Wheeler is bisexual as HALE jot that down

“Yeah, crazy together.” NOWKISS

Oh man, Jonathan taking drunk Nancy home, this is some striaght up fic shit

Hm whatchu doin with that blindfold El?

MILEVENNNNNNN so much of it

NOOOOO MY FEELINGS

Aaaah only episode two and my bisexual heart is so pleased and in such A G O N Y

[peachamiibo]

All Emojis

you fool. you absolute fool . your hubris…. im putting it under the CUT!!!!

🌧 - song for a rainy day = Half the World Away - Aurora🌚 - song for when i’m feeling nervous = Desert Rose - Sting  🔥 - song that pumps me up = Work Bitch - Britney Spears🍂 - song that helps me calm down = Between Tears - Johannes Linstead🌊 - song for a day at the beach = Sunset Lover - Petit Biscuit⭐️ - song i’ll listen to on repeat = Paris - The Chainsmokers🌠 - song that’s special to me = Alayna - LFO  ☂ - song for when i’m feeling sad = His Daughter - Molly Kate Kesner🙂 - song that makes me smile = Upside Down - Jack Johnson💔 - song for a heartbreak = You’re not Sorry (CSI Version) - Taylor Swift🎉 - song to party to = Chantaje - Shakira🚶 - song for when i feel alone = 1000 Nights - Frenship👯 - song that reminds me of someone = Dreams - The Cranberires💪🏽 - song that helps me be strong = Stand in the Rain - Superchick🏋 - song to work out to = Emergency - Icona Pop☄ - song for when i feel lighter than air = The Glory - The Cranberries

☀️ - song for a sunny day = Brand New - Ben Rector🌲 - song that reminds me of nature = The Ocean - Mike Perry 💤 - song i fall asleep to = Adeimus - Karl Jenkins✌🏼️ - song for when i feel fabulous = Gimme More - Britney Spears🌪 - song for when i’m angry = Final Warning - Skylar Gray🎤 - song i’ll sing out loud = Need You Now - Lady Antebellum ✈️ - song for when i’m feeling nostalgic = I’ll Keep Waving - W. Darling⚓️ - song that keeps me grounded = Tonight and the Rest of my life - Nina Gordon🌇 - song that inspires me = War Paint - Fletcher⏰ - song for when i’m feeling stressed = Thinking About It (Let It Go) KVR Remix - Nathan Goshen