#you can be scared and courageous at the same time

[the-witty-pen-name]

Everything that I Wanted (3)

Eddie Munson x F!Reader / Billy Hargrove x F!Reader 

Word Count: 4.9k 

Synopsis: Love triangle between your best friend Eddie and your first boyfriend, Billy Hargrove that spans over many years as you get everything you think you ever wanted. However, your life doesn’t play out how you expected it, starting from the first time you’re asked out on a date. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI; SMUT (piv sex; oral f receiving), angst, language, depictions of a toxic relationship (physical force; manipulation, coercion/guilting & isolation from peers); fighting/violence;

A/N: Comments & Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know what you think! Thank you so much @munsonsmixtapes @punkrockmlchael @keeryhours @losingmygrasponreality @fizzing-imagines - everyone for letting me yap & helping me!

PART ONE PART TWO

Stranger Things Masterlist

The ache that settled deep inside you festered in ways you never imagined before. As the weeks passed, your thoughts were consumed with Eddie and how it was becoming unbearable to not be around your best friend. You craved being surrounded by him like you used to be before. You wanted to be in his room, surrounded by his things and his mess. You wanted to smell his signature scent of cologne and weed with the hint of cigarette smoke that always lingered on his shirts. 

You thought Billy would’ve been your be all, end all. But you were realizing there was so much more that you needed that he didn’t give to you. His attention was something that you began to feel like needed to be earned, and you had to lure him towards you- it made you feel like he was indifferent. He didn’t care if you were there at all. Everything felt like it revolved around Billy and you’d let yourself get lost in it. You were beginning to see the way the scale tipped. 

The first time you’d dreamt about Eddie you thought it was a fluke. A side effect of the bad weed since you couldn’t buy (he never let you pay) from Eddie. You rationalized that the substance in your system was to blame. Until it happened again… and again… and you couldn’t explain them all away. You’d dream that he’d settle himself between the apex of your thighs, and stay there for what felt like hours- telling you how much he loved you. It was like everything Billy didn’t offer you, dream Eddie would make a reality. 

It would always be roughly the same thing each time it had happened. You only remembered small glimpses:  His bed with wrinkled sheets; his hands and the coolness of his rings on your skin; the image of his hands holding your thighs; his head between your legs and his curly hair looking wild. 

Billy was none the wiser to your secret fantasies that you harbored for your best friend. His own defense mechanisms of locking himself away kept him from really being able to fully see how his actions were affecting you. It wasn’t that he didn’t care- it was that he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to be a boyfriend, and he was so scared about losing you that he didn’t realize you’d been silently gaining the courage to move on. His tight grip would just cause you to slip from his grasp despite how hard he tried to keep the world out. 

You’d been dating Billy for about two months and your mind was becoming more preoccupied with Eddie with each passing day. You became so vigilant- knowing when you could steal glances or a smile when Billy wasn’t looking. It felt like cheating. It was a thrill and you didn’t know why you couldn’t just cut the ties and break up with Billy. You wanted nothing more than to just run back into Eddie’s arms, be surrounded by your friends and go back to your old life. You were scared. 

You were scared of how Billy would react. The next layer was that you were scared that after you broke up with Billy, your friends would want nothing to do with you. You can picture being turned away by Hellfire- banished for your crimes of treason. Gareth wouldn’t forgive you, the best friend that abandoned him. You couldn’t blame him. And Eddie, not only would he never forgive you- he’d reject you if you could ever tell him how you were beginning to feel. They’d have every right to hate you- for all you know they do hate you. 

You’re not happy when you’re with Billy- not anymore, like you maybe were once. But leaving isn’t easy, still. The what-if’s plague your mind. Maybe being with Billy isn’t ideal right now, but it’s what you’ve come to know. Breaking up with him opens a box of so many unknowns and that thought itself also scares you. You’d be completely and utterly alone- left to your own devices. 

You don’t remember how the argument started as you followed closely behind Billy, speed walking to catch up to him as he was storming to his car. He always did this- shut you out and leave whenever a fight got a little too real. The topic of Hellfire came up again, and Billy was pissed that after everything, you still wouldn’t just let it go. At this point, you had been yelling after him to come back and talk it through- everyone in the parking lot staring at the two of you instead of leaving immediately after school. You were too pent up to care. You were done. He was about to get in his car and drive off without you. 

“Fine! You know what? I’m done!” You exclaim loudly, throwing your hands up in defeat. 

“What the fuck are you sayin?” Billy says, turning around to face you and slamming the car door- loudly. It was startling, the noise and you were surprised it didn’t fall off the car honestly. It made you wince- the confidence you had a few seconds ago completely evaporated. 

“We’re over,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady and you take a deep breath to try to keep up your strong front. Billy laughs, actually laughs, shaking his head and crossing his arms. 

“You don’t mean that,” he says in disbelief. He’s silently waiting- holding his breath that you aren’t serious. He doesn’t let himself even think about the idea of losing you- it would be too much for him to bear. In his mind, you and him were an absolute truth. You’d made him feel and experience so much in such a short time- there’s no way you’d give it all up. He couldn’t see how he’d been pushing you away. 

“I’m breaking up with you,” you say, matter of factly. He spirals, and panics- his heart completely dropping into his stomach. If he was a different guy, with a different father, maybe Billy would’ve known how to fix this. He would know how to apologize, he would know to fall to his knees and beg for you, he would know how to be gentle and promise to do better. That’s not who he is- not yet. “I’m going,” you say, turning on your heels to leave him behind. 

You can’t leave him. He needed you, wanted you too badly. He couldn’t let you just walk away. He strides over to you and grasps your arm. He’s too emotional to realize how tight his grip is on you, and he’s just so focused on keeping you from walking away so he can talk this out- he doesn’t realize at first how truly scared you look. 

“Let me go,” you struggle against his grasp, but it’s like his brain doesn’t register what’s happening. He can’t retract his arm, or you’ll be gone forever. But then he sees your eyes, and he recognizes the look all too well. It’s in that moment, that Billy realizes that he’s becoming what he always swore he wouldn’t- he’s his father. Before Billy can even process the realization of this horrific truth, he’s suddenly on the ground, head to the pavement as he falls backwards. 

Eddie had emerged out of the woods from behind the school just in time to witness the entire scene between you and Billy from a distance. He had his metal lunchbox tucked under his arm as he recounted the cash he just received from one of the football players. Tucking it away into his wallet, he hears yelling from the parking lot that pulls his attention. He sees a small crowd of people lingering and his curiosity gets the better of him. As he walks closer, it becomes apparent that he hears your voice- and you sound petrified. 

He drops the tin somewhere mid stride and doesn’t even care as he pushes his way across the parking lot, running in between moving cars, shoving his way through cliques of students- it didn’t matter. All he could think about was getting to you. His eyes completely zero in on Billy’s white knuckled grip around your arm that he doesn’t even think. He’d more than passed his breaking point when it came to Billy. 

It doesn’t even register to him that he swung until the crack when his fist came in contact with Billy’s face. His eyes widen in surprise as he watches Billy fall, and thankfully he doesn’t take you down with him. You watch in shock at the scene that folds out, tentatively taking a few steps back so you’re away from Billy. 

Billy thinks his nose is broken and he can feel the blood dripping down his face. He laughs hysterically at the metallic taste of his own blood. He can’t believe he’s ended up here. You want nothing to do with him, the only person he’s maybe cared about is just gone- he can’t help but laugh at himself, but it makes him sound so sinister. Picking himself off, he ignores the way his skin burns from the contact it made with the pavement. He’d wanted an excuse to fight Eddie for a long time now, and he’s not passing up the chance now. 

“You don’t want to fight me, freak,” Billy spits, wiping his face with his hand. Despite taking a hard punch, he’s still worked up and thinks he can take Eddie. He’s hungry for it. He doesn’t miss how you step behind Eddie for him to protect you, and it makes him absolutely livid. 

He manages to take a few swings, and Eddie takes a punch to the gut that makes him take a few steps back. Billy manages to make a swift hit right to Eddie’s jaw, sending him practically spinning to the ground but Eddie’s able to catch himself in his fall, and recovers quickly. 

An even larger crowd has begun to gather, a mix of people cheering for either boy. Some people cheer for Billy, egging him on and encouraging him for finally dealing with the Town Freak. Others applaud Eddie, ecstatic to see someone finally putting Billy in his place after his reign of terror. You’re frozen, shocked to see Eddie swoop in and defend you like he did. He didn’t hate you.

Eddie manages one more hit and it makes Billy collapse. He can’t get up right away and it’s like he’s lost all pride. Suddenly, he looks so small and for a brief moment Eddie almost pities him. He wipes the blood from his cut lip and just leaves Billy there, walking away- guiding you away from the scene. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, out of breath. He’s so preoccupied with making sure you’re safe that he didn’t even seem to care about himself at that moment. He brings his hands up to cup your cheeks, his eyes scanning your face to make sure you looked okay. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you insist- and you were. Shaken up, of course- but you weren’t hurt. “But, Eddie you…”

“Don’t worry about me,” he chuckles. He leans down to whisper to you, “You should see the other guy.” 

Your little giggle was enough to make Eddie’s heart swell and constrain against his chest. He couldn’t ever express to you how much he missed that sound, being the one to make you laugh. “I don’t want to see him anymore,” you admit softly, gazing up at Eddie. Your eyes trail over every part of his face, recommitting it all to memory. 

Eddie glances over to where he left Billy, and he sees Tommy and Jason helping him up from the ground. They make eye contact briefly and he swears it almost looks like Billy could be- blinking back tears as he looks at you and the way you're looking at Eddie. He watches as Billy shakes his head and avoids your direction as he walks away from the scene. 

Eddie smiles, looking back at you. Eddie was never the one to be the hero, but now? He feels like he can do anything. You smile, trying to read his expression. “Does this mean I can come back to Hellfire?” You ask, hopeful- biting your lip to hold back your smile. You can’t help but rock back and forth on your heels.

“Oh my god, yes,” he sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “I’m not even kidding, the campaign is in absolute shambles. We need you back to whip them into shape- it’s been absolutely pathetic.” 

Eddie’s arm around you makes goosebumps rise on your skin. It’s like the reality of your situation has just come down on you all at once. Billy was gone, and you felt like you could finally breathe. And Eddie… your beautiful, sweet, wonderful Eddie is back next to you and its like everything makes sense again. It feels like you might be able to just pick up right where you left off- but neither one of you wants to go back to being just friends. Both of you secretly hope the other feels the same.  

You bring your hands up to cup his face, and you look at where he’s hurt. A small cut on his eyebrow and his lip, and you’re sure he’s going to develop a black eye. God, was he always this pretty? The way his brown eyes look back at you with such a soft gaze makes you wonder how you could’ve ever looked anywhere else. Your thumb gently grazes his bottom lip, careful not to disturb the cut. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” you say, tears welling in your eyes. “Just for everything- for ditching you all, for blowing off plans. I threw everything away for some guy who I don’t even think really liked me. God, I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I really thought any of it was a good idea. Then you, because you’re just so wonderful- stick your neck out for me and save me after I’ve treated you like shit- Fuck, Eds. I ruined absolutely everything… including this moment, because I should just shut up and kiss you.” 

“Please,” he says with a soft smile, his voice hardly a whisper, and he rests his forehead against yours. 

He meets you halfway, and you press your lips to his in a gentle kiss. 

This. This was the moment you had been waiting for. It’s the all encompassing, sweeps you off your feet first kind of kiss that makes you feel like your body is just melting into him. It’s butterflies, fireworks, electricity… everything you’d convinced yourself wasn’t real. All of it was just fantasy. But it’s not- it’s everything. It’s so undeniably Eddie. 

Your lips find a rhythm with his so easily, and you feel warmth through your whole body when you feel his arms wrap around you. His large hands on your back, gently pulling you in flush to him. Your arms wrap around his neck as the kiss deepens. You think you could stay here, tangled up with him like this forever if you could. 

“I love you so much,” he says, rushed between fevered kisses. “I always have, sweetheart.” He caresses your cheek as he pulls away from the kiss- he needs to look at you. “I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you,” he sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

He genuinely means it. He can remember it so distinctly. It’s one of those memories that just never seems to fade no matter how much time has passed. 

First day of his sophomore year, he’d put up flyers for Hellfire Club on the bulletin boards in the freshman hallways. Some of them had been torn down or defaced by whoever- maybe guys on the basketball team. He’d come back, putting up more- replacing the ones that had been messed up. 

He saw you on the opposite end of the hallway, reading one of his flyers intently despite the moustache and monocle drawn on his logo. You were (and still are) the prettiest girl he’d ever seen- and it was enough to make him blush that you’d given your attention to something of his. He observed as your brow furrowed in concentration, and the way your nose scrunched as you squinted to read his messy handwriting. He assumed the worst- you thought it was weird, or maybe you were scared. He watched from a safe distance as you carefully peeled back the tape to pull it off the board, and you folded it to put in the front of your binder. When you and Gareth showed up to the next meeting, he was already completely smitten. 

“I love you too,” you smile and reconnect your lips with his. Eddie’s back rests against the tree behind him and he pulls your flush against this body as he deepens the kiss. Now that you’ve kissed Eddie, you think it’s ruined you- kissing anyone else won’t ever feel as good as this. You’re so wrapped up in him it’s like everything else just fades away. The kiss escalates and you feel desperate to be even closer. 

“Where’s your van?” You murmur, gently tugging on his hair, making him groan. His lips trail across the skin just under your ear, and you can hear his keys jangle in his hands. It makes you chuckle, and you can feel his smile against your skin. He interlocks his hand with yours, his keys in the other, and he leads you over to  the van where it’s parked across the lot- most other cars already cleared out after the fight had ended. 

“Ladies first,” he says dramatically as he opens the door to the back. You scoff playfully, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. Your heart tugs cause it was the part of Eddie you secretly missed the most. You duck your head as you crawl into the back, and he’s quick behind you. 

He wraps you up in his arms and reconnects his lips to yours, and he gently lays you down on the floor of the van. Your hands cradle his face, pulling his body down to yours. You couldn’t get enough of him. You wanted to be surrounded, completely encased in him. You’d missed so much of him- you needed to be as close to him as possible. 

Eddie can’t even believe that you’re here. He’s imagined this moment so much he’s convinced he might’ve just slipped further into his fantasy that he can’t distinguish it from reality. But you’re real, and you’re here- with him. After months of complete and utter torture, it all feels like nothing when you’re kissing him like this. He’d been hoping to get you back, but he couldn’t have imagined you’d have ended up like this. It’s so much better than he’d ever dreamed. 

“Eds..,” you sigh, as he kisses your neck. “Please…”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he promises, his hands finding the hem of your shirt and yours push his jacket off his shoulders. He’s quick to shrug his jacket off, and you get distracted by the tattoos you can see peeking out from under his dark t-shirt. It totally inflates his ego, blush rising on his neck. Your head tilts, noticing one you don’t recognize picking out from the collar of his shirt. 

“What’s that one?” You ask, tugging his shirt collar. “You got a new one?” You pout, looking back to him with wide eyes. “I wanna see…” 

Eddie’s shirt is off his back in seconds. 

There’s a new spider tattoo next to his zombie head. You bite your lip, your fingertips outlining it delicately. The feeling gives Eddie goosebumps. You’d seen Eddie shirtless before- countless times when the group would go swimming at the lake, or that one summer Grant’s family had the above ground pool, but it was never like this. Suddenly, your awkward best friend was gorgeous and he’s looking at you like he wants to eat you alive. 

His hands slide under the material of your shirt, lifting up slowly. You lift your arms for him. He moans, a pathetic whimper just at the mere sight of you. He dips down, kissing all of the exposed skin- starting with your navel all the way up your chest to your shoulder where he delicately pushes your bra strap down. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he marvels, toying with the strap as he kisses down the outline of your cups. 

You’re feeling so desperate for him, and you push off your jeans so now you’re just in your bra and panties. You momentarily regret for the briefest of moments that they don’t match, but he’s looking at you so intensely that you don’t think he even cares as his eyes rake over your body. Your skin feels like it's on fire under his heavy gaze, and you feel so needy that you’re involuntarily bucking your hips up into him, grinding against the bulge in his jeans. He kisses you again feverishly, his hand holding the back of your neck and the coldness of his rings sooth the hotness of your skin. 

“Eds,” you whine, not even fully sure what you're asking for as you gently tug his hair again- just to hear the noises that rumble deep from the back of his throat. It’s addicting. 

“Sweetheart, please..,” Eddie pulls away to kiss all over your body again, all the way down to the waistband of your panties. He kisses and licks along the waistband, “Can I?” Fuck yes. 

“Fuck, Eds- god yes,” you nod. 

You’re surprised when he hones in on the little wet spot, pressing a kiss right there over the fabric. He smirks when it makes you shiver, he’s been fantasizing for so long to be just where he is right now. He’s planning to spend so much time worshipping you, showing you just how fucking much he loves you- making up for all the time wasted by not telling you how he felt sooner. 

He slides the panties down your legs, kissing down your thighs, your calves, your ankle before resting your legs over his shoulders. He peppers kisses to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. You don’t miss that your panties were discreetly slid into the back pocket of his jeans. You’ll tease him later, when you’re less distracted by the way his hair tickles your skin. Right now, you’re so overwhelmed by how good he feels that you’re already panting. 

Eddie doesn’t really have any experience- that’s to say, he has none. But, he’s imagined all the ways he wants to make you feel good for so long and he’s so eager to please. He licks at your folds, kissing your wetness- his nose pushing into your clit at just the perfect angle that it makes you grip at his hair for some sense of stability. You throw your head back in pleasure and his grip on your thighs tighten to keep you in place for him. He’s eating you like a man starved and your moans are as equally depraved. 

He doesn’t stop, even when you warn him that you're close- he just keeps at the same pace, working you through your first orgasm. He looks up grinning, your slick completely coating his mouth and chin. It’s quite a sight. You’re shaking, coming down from your high- Eddie kissing your thighs and hips, praising you and whispering sweet nothings. You can see his obvious tent at the front of his jeans which somehow look tighter than when he started. He climbs back on top of you to reconnect your lips in a searing kiss, and your hands make quick work of palming him through his jeans. He whimpers against your lips, bucking into your hand desperately seeking more friction. 

“Why don’t you take these-”

Eddie’s kicking off his jeans before you even manage to finish your sentence, and it makes you giggle at how eager he is. It’s endearing, and it makes you feel so wanted- so desirable. It’s dizzying. His boxers remain as he surges forward to kiss you again, your arms wrapping around his neck as he fumbles with your bra. It takes him a few tries, embarrassed by his clumsiness, he buries his face in your neck as he struggles with the small clasps. 

“Fucking hell,” he mutters, before finally managing to manage the hooks open. “Thank fuck,” he sighs, kissing your shoulder. “That would’ve been embarrassing,” he jokes, making you smile. You let the straps fall down your shoulders and Eddie pulls it off- tossing it somewhere. Who cares where. His eyes nearly bug out of his head. Your face feels warm, and you move to hide your face in your hands. Eddie is practically drooling. You’re perfect- just like he always fucking knew you would be. 

You smile up at him, and he swears he feels his heart might beat out of his chest. So many nights he imagined you here, under him, looking at him just like how you’re looking at him now. God, he thinks he’s still dreaming. Your hands tug gently at the waistband of his boxers and he winks at you. He pulls them down, kicking them off his legs and your eyes widen. 

“Fuck, Eddie,” you gasp, staring hungrily at his cock. 

“Bigger than Billy?” he teases you and you swat his arm. “I’m sorry,” he laughs, pushing your hair out of your face, “I’m only kidding.” He leans down and kisses your lips softly. “You’re gonna forget all about him by the time I’m done with you, sweetheart.” 

“Eddie- I never slept with Billy,” you admit softly, cradling his face in the palm of your hand. “I mean- we did stuff,” you wince for a second at your own awkwardness, “But- yeah, we never did this… I want you to be my first, Eds.”

Eddie melts at your words. He feels like his entire body is flushed. Fuck, okay. He is going to be your first. You want to lose your virginity to him right now in his van- with him. You, his best friend- the star of all his dirty fantasies and the love of his life- you are picking him too. He is trying so hard to think about literally anything else except this to keep from finishing the second he pushes his cock into you. 

“I love you so much,” he whispers, kissing you gently. You kiss him back, matching his pace- letting him take the lead. “Um,” he pulls away reluctantly, “One sec-” 

You sit up on your elbows and watch as he riffles through his pants to find his wallet- and he just can’t believe he’s finally using the condom he’s been carrying around. You bite your lip, holding back a smile. He slides it on, and leans forward- kissing you again, and it’s slow and romantic and it makes your brain cloudy with how good it feels. 

You feel so full when he pushes into you, and you gasp as the sensation. God, he felt so amazing as he stretched you out with his cock. You both take a second, needing to adjust to the feeling. He begins to move his hips when you let him know you're ready, finding a rhythm that works for the two of you. 

It’s romantic and a little clumsy- but you wouldn’t want it any other way. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him in close to you and your hands hold onto his shoulders. Your face twists in pleasure when he finds the perfect pace, hitting your g spot perfectly. He’s whispering sweet nothings, praising you for how well you’re doing, for how good you feel- completely and utterly obsessed with how you’re taking his cock. 

“So pretty,” he praises, his fingertips grazing your nipples- squeezing gently, teasing you as he fucks into you. “You’re so fucking perfect, sweetheart- fuck.”

“Eddie, baby- I’m so close,” you whine, overly sensitive from your first orgasm. He keeps his pace, his thumb rubbing your clit, coaxing your orgasm from you nice and gentle. He’s doing his best to keep himself from finishing- he needs you to cum again for him first. 

When you squeeze his cock, and your orgasm pulses through your whole body, Eddie can’t hold off another second. With his final thrusts, he’s finishing into the condom- riding out his high. He never imagined it would ever feel that good. Fuck, he loved you so much. 

He ties off the condom and tosses it in the trash bag. He collapses next to you, kissing you gently- pulling you in close to his chest. “I love you,” he mumbles into your hair, kissing the top of your head. 

“I love you too,” you sigh, contently, resting your head into the crook of his shoulder. 

“Do you even know how long I’ve wanted that- how long I’ve been in love with you?” Eddie asks, tracing shapes on your bare skin absentmindedly. “Sweetheart you have no idea how many fantasies of mine we just played out,” he chuckles, reaching for his cigarettes from his jacket pocket. 

“We’ll have to play out some more later,” you tease, kissing his cheek as he lights up. He groans, holding the cigarette away from you so he can kiss you again.

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[toastedclownery]

The cats as Tecuciztecatl and Nanahuatzin

Now, there are different versions for the role of the fifth sun. There are two characters who are attributed this, Huitzilopochtli and Tonatiuh. But technically there is a third, counting Nanahuatzin.

This is because technically Nanahuatzin and Tonatiuh are the same person. Nanahuatzin became the god Tonatiuh when he sacrificed himself to become the fifth sun. There are a couple of versions of this myth, but the most detailed is in Book 7 of the Florentine Codex. I unfortunately could not find a good summary of it in English so I wrote one with the elements I need. The full thing is here.

—

After the destruction of the fourth sun, the gods gathered at Teotihuacan to discuss who would be next in charge of illuminating the world.

One named Tecuciztecatl proudly volunteered.

The gods then asked again if anybody else was willing to offer themselves for the task, but nobody answered. They were all scared and gave excuses. But there was one that everybody ignored, who was covered in blisters, called Nanahuatzin. He didn’t speak*, only listened to what the other gods were saying. 

They told him “You do it, little scabby one”

He willingly accepted. “You gods have been good to me. So I will”

And then the two of them started a four day penance, while the other gods lit a sacrificial bonfire.

Everything Tecuciztecatl offered was precious. Valuable quetzal feathers, balls coated in gold, thorns of precious stones, and red coral. 

Nanahuatzin, on the other hand, all he offered were green reeds, balls of hay, and maguey thorns that he would smear with his own blood.

When the four days were over, the gods gathered in Teotihuacan once more. The sacred bonfire had been lit for the last four days. Tecuciztecatl was dressed in a feather headdress and a cloth jacket, while Nanahuatzin was dressed in a humble paper headdress and paper loincloth. The pair stood in front of the fire, ready to begin their tasks. They were supposed to leap into the flames and offer their bodies to become the sun.

The gods called Tecuciztecatl to jump into the fire first. He charged to jump in, but when he felt the intense heat of the flames, fear overtook him and he backed away. He tried once more, but he stopped in his tracks again, he wouldn’t dare jump. He tried four times in total, and four times he failed.

A rule was set that no more than four attempts were allowed, so the gods then called Nanahuatzin next. Nanahuatzin closed his eyes, gathered his courage, ran and leapt into the fire. When Tecuciztecatl saw that the other had jumped, he followed him and jumped as well.

After they both burned, the gods proceeded to sit down to wait and see from which direction the sun would appear. Some guessed it would come from the north, others opted for the south. Finally, the ones who guessed east would be right.

Two suns rose into the sky in the same order that the two gods entered the flames. But both shone with the same intensity. The rest of the gods considered that it was unbearable. So one of them went and hit Tecuciztecatl’s face with a rabbit. It darkened his face and dimmed down his light. He became the moon. This was the explanation on why there is a figure of a rabbit visible on the moon.

—

Tecuciztecatl (or Tecciztecatl), “Lord of the Conch Shell” is the god of the moon and the night sky. He’s considered proud and arrogant, and as we can see from the myth above, he doesn’t keep his promises and he’s a bit of a coward. So far we can check all of these boxes for Scratch

Tecciztecatl is also wealthy, and whereas Scratch isn’t, he likes to act like he is. He likes to have expensive things (or act like he does), especially to show them off to other people and brag about how better off he is

Nanahuatzin, “Full of sores”, is a humble, sickly god that became the fifth and current sun. From the myth above, we know that he is quiet and doesn’t get noticed often. Scritch does have his moments where he's visibly sassy or annoyed with Scratch (he is his older brother after all), but it's really the fact that they're paired together and they have very contrasting attitudes that makes me think of them.

*As for the part where it says that Nanahuatzin “doesn’t speak”, he does. He has a line of dialogue right after this, he’s not incapable of speaking like Scritch is. He just wasn’t speaking at that very moment. But just in case I decided to look up how it is phrased in the Florentine Codex, the original text. And in the Spanish column, that’s what it says

I have the suspicion that they might have taken this little piece of the text and decided to make it literal, so they made him mute

We can also see that Scritch is a quiet character, and not just because he’s mute. We have another character that doesn’t speak, Kara, and she has a very different personality than him. He usually doesn’t try to get others’ attention, and when he’s calling Beebs in ep3, he’s polite about it

Additionally, just like Nanahuatzin was sickly and wasn’t fit for the job of being the Sun but did it anyway, Scritch isn’t capable of doing much with the Agari situation (he’s just a little guy…) but he tries his best to help… Unlike Scratch

The myth of Tecciztecatl and Nanahuatzin in the Florentine Codex is one where the characters’ personalities are the most clear and distinct, in comparison to other legends. That’s why despite not having a lot of obvious iconography to them, they can still be identifiable with their personalities

—

As for iconography however:

Tecciztecatl means “Lord of the Conch Shell”, his iconography includes conch shells either on his head or on his back

In mesoamerica, holes were made into these conch shells and they would blow on them, using them as musical instruments, like trumpets. And I’m not just calling them trumpets, if you look them up (aztec conch shell/“tecciztli”), they are called and compared to trumpets.

And look!!

Nanahuatzin has a cross on his headdress in Codex Borgia (this is like one of the only representations of him). Scritch is the one to give Beebs his crossed patch, and it's the same color as his spacesuit

I have also considered the hand marking on his mouth could be the white marks on the sides of his face, and his crippled hands could have been moved to his folded ears

Tecciztecatl was thrown a rabbit at his face, and the imprint of the rabbit was forever stuck on it. Now I know this is crazy but hear me out

Also, as the god of the night sky, Scratch is a black cat. The Aztecs illustrated the Sun with the color red and Scritch as an orange cat is the closest natural color to that.

Finally, the two gods had to sacrifice themselves by jumping into a bonfire

And the cat's ship is on fire at the start of ep3

List

[lesmiix]

hc for Hyun-ju confessing? I’m or out of games? Idk whatever sparks your interest ❤️

HEADCANON: Confession

Hyun-ju x g/n reader

Summary: How would Hyun-ju confess her feelings to you? (in the games and out of the games)

Warnings: None, just fluff.

a/n: English's not my first language, there may be some grammatical or orthography mistakes 😞

💗HYUN-JU REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!💗

In the games:

You both met during red light green light, as you both helped a guy who was injured.

Since then, You've been together, talking about everything and nothing, being there and comforting each other when you were down.

You were the first person in that place that she admitted to that she was trans. And you being the first person to accept her only strengthened your relationship.

You used to sleep together, if it wasn't in the same bed, it would be in beds that were next to each other.

You once woke up in the middle of the night, and the urge to go to the bathroom kept you from sleeping, so you slowly got out of bed, not wanting to wake up Hyun-ju, who was sleeping next to you.

"Where are you going?" Her voice startled you a little.

"I have to use the bathroom"

She wouldn't let you go alone, afraid that someone would do something to you.

"I'll come with you".

You both were washing your hands, in a comfortable silence but as you looked at your reflection, you noticed the nervousness on Hyun-ju's face

"Hey Hyunnie, is everything alright?"

"Y/n... I have been thinking..." She softly muttered.

You looked at her, slightly confused.

"I think... I think I've started to fall in love with you. I know is not the right place or the right time, but... Seeing the circumstances, I guess is better to let you know." She let out a soft chuckle. "So it's okay if you don't feel the same, I don't want things to change between us." She looked onto the floor, a bit embarrassed, thinking what could be the worst thing you could answer.

Seeing that she didn't get any response from you, she turned her gaze to you, only to find you staring at her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" She started, anxiety starting to run through her body. You really found her really cute, so you didn't lose the chance and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"No no, Hyun-ju, it's okay, is just... I've never thought that you'd... like me back." You said nervously as you pulled back, not knowing how to react. Not knowing how she would react. "Actually, I've liked you too for a while now... I was trying to work up the courage to tell you."

That was the best night of your life.

Out of the games:

You and Hyun-ju have been friends for years now, since you two were kids. You had always been there for each other, even when she started her transition and her family kicked out of her house, you welcomed her into yours.

Those close interactions between you both, like you going to her bedroom at night, to ask her if you could sleep with her as you were scared of storms, watching movies on the couch, leaning on each other's shoulders and sharing the food made her star to develop other feelings for you.

One day she finally decided to tell you how she felt about you. So she decided to take you out for dinner to a nice restaurant.

You had an excellent dinner, the food was amazing and you had a very smooth and entertaining conversation. You really had a lot of fun that night.

You both decided to go for a walk, just to enjoy the breeze of the summer night.

You were walking on the beach, along the shore, the cold water crashing against your feet.

Suddenly you noticed how Hyun-ju held your hand. You didn't push her away, instead, you grabbed her hand firmly, enjoying the warmth.

"Thank you for today, Hyunnie" You said, smiling at her.

"Don't thank me, you've already done a lot for me, it's the least I can do." She let out a giggle. "You know, I really appreciate everything you've done for me these past few years... You know, with all that transition stuff, letting me stay at your house and making me feel loved every day." Her eyes met yours as she smiled back at you.

"Of course, pretty girl, I'm glad you feel that safe with me" She suddenly stopped the step.

"You don't understand, darling."

"Huh? What do you mean?" You innocently asked.

"I like you, y/n, I really do. I've done it for a while now." She shyly looked into your eyes, trying to read your reaction.

You were too shocked to react. Your body did the thinking before your brain could and you slowly leaned towards her, Your gaze lowering to her lips, and back to her eyes, searching for permission. Finally she closed the space between you.

a/n: I genuinely loved making this, I hope you liked these too!!

[noctomania]

Fin your spine before someone finds you spineless.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Yeah but the most hilarious thing a friend said about me was— I used to have a very dear friend who was hella intimidating to me, and i dont get easily intimidated. She was loud and outspoken and provocative, she loved a good fight and sought it, she was the only friend i had who i could happily challenge and provoke and get into her head because i knew she was absolutely secure in her own skin and rarely lost her ground, she loved being challenged. We were a formidable duo together, and there was this one time a guy jokingly asked her which one of us is scarier— she pointed to me without a second thought. It was so out of the blue and everyone, including me, turned around and was like ?????

because i assure you, i dont look scary, far from it in fact, and i can be loud, but it doesn't happen often. Most of my life i've been sitting in silence in a corner just listening. And i remember my friend laughing and saying that yes, she's loud and fiesty and she throws a fight and wrestles men every other Tuesday for the fuck of it, but really it's me people should be afraid of, because at the end of the day she plays along. She knows the rules, and she adapts to societal conventions, she works with people and she adheres to the implicit boundaries of different contexts (while screaming about how fucking stupid they are.) and sure, i dont look like much on the surface, and i'm mostly quiet and soft, but i don't negotiate. I dont play along and if i dont like something i'll flip the table on the game. She told the guy, "all things considered, i work with you and adapt one way or another; she doesn't adapt, she breaks through your thresholds."

And it's been 8 years and i still think about this remark. One of the most intimidating women i knew thought i'm the intimidating one because i'm a nonconformist, and so little has changed on that front. For the longest time she was resentful of me because she felt like i exist outside the rules and i think i'm exempt from them while she was stuck knee deep in societal conventions and "this is how things are done around here". I never really got it in my 20s, but now i think i do, which is to say; i pay my own price for willingly existing outside the thresholds of common protocols and societal codes of conduct, but that's just what i do. I never really learnt how to play along, and i guess i didn't want to, wasn't worth the effort. This isn't to say that i pick a fight with every single person i meet; quite the contrary, i dont respond to 98% of people i come in contact with, it's sort of a somewhat eternal state of "i dont care". I have very limited amount of energy, always did, so response is a privilege i only gift the people i absolutely love. The rest of the times i just leave, or if i decide to do something, i do it anyway, i throw myself into the thing without bothering to correct anyone or infouence their point of view.

But also, during the years i have met a select few people like me, and what always catches me offguard is, people dont tell you how much courage it takes to flip the table and go down the path everyone else is scared of. And i know this because i have met many cowards along the way too. People think that courage and bravery is the absence of fear. They think you must be so fearless in order to be an iconoclast, which is absolutely not the case; i have been afraid and vulnurable everyday of my life, i hear my bones rattle in my ears everytime i do the simplest tasks and i have always been thin-skinned, i get hurt very easily. And i always seem to pick up fights other people find impossible; it's not because i'm not terrified. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's the presence of purpose. You either have something that's important to you, something you want to accomplish, or you dont. Something either matters to you, or it doesn't, you cannot negotiate it. Everytime i flipped the table on things and said "i wont do that" "i will not become that" "this doesn't fucking sit with me" "i will not compromise" i was crying and i did it anyway, because my integrity as a person comes above societal conventions on any given day, and i dont fucking negotiate.

And the thing is, the older i get the less respect i have for cowards. I find value in fear, in uncertainty, in vulnurability, in grief, in pain, but nothing makes me lose faith in a person faster than "i want to do X, but i'm scared, so i'm not doing it." Lack of courage and resolve immediately makes me go "that's nice, good for you. You're lovely, and do take your time and go at your pace while you're detangling this yarn of yours, i know you got this, i believe in you even when you dont believe in yourself. But i dont have to be here while you do this, i dont have to exist besides people who choose their own manifactured comfortzone over change. " Because at the end of the day, i'm a noncomformist and i value change; not in pretty socially acceptable "oh i love change! let's have a discourse!" talks, but in action. Values are not pretty words, they're something that inherently translate into your behavior, you uphold them. And i think that's what makes me very scary to the average person; i dont talk about changing status quo, i bring it. And i dont care for standing besides people who dont really want anything to change after all because "that's scary and uncomfortable". Everything was scary and uncomfortable too when you were a toddler Jennifer, the difference was, back then you had courage.

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙! ♡︎

characters: sub!yandere!AFAB!characters x dom!gn!reader

warnings: character uses he/him pronouns but has female genitalia/tcock (words such as pussy, vagina, cunt will be used), character is transmale, reader has you/your pronouns, cock/strap, yandere character, established relationship, protected sex, unprotected sex (don’t do that folks), breeding, creampie, belly bulge, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of death and light torture

notes: you can think of any character you want with this fic, i just had a wild thought during a car ride at my vacation. divider from @/cafekitsune

yandere! husband who has been in love with you since they first met you. what started out as a simple fascination developed into an unhealthy obsession until he finally got the courage to ask you out on an official date

yandere! husband who gets surprised when you accept his ask for a date, sheepishly smiling as you tell him that you found him pretty and had been building up the courage to do the same. who nearly fall into his knees right then and there with sheer nervousness yet also giddiness at your confession, finding the wobbly smile on your face endearing

yandere! husband who gradually built a stable relationship with you over time. there were moments where he thought of just drugging you up and stealing you away to keep you all to himself but he chastised himself for such thoughts when you have been nothing but loyal and honest. he thought of killing those annoying bitches and assholes who tried to hit on you or blatantly flirted with you in front of him, imagining cutting out their tongue and burning their eyes with scolding hot iron only to snap back to the present when your hand wound around his waist, introducing him as your lover excitedly

yandere! husband who got scared when you accidentally walked in while he was changing after a shower, terrified that you will leave him after having seen his top scars and cunt. who could hear his heartbeat in his own ears, rapidly beating like a frightened bird thrown into a cage while he waited your reaction. who try to apologize only to be cut off with your comforting words and accepting hug

yandere! husband who proposed to you first, getting on both of his knees as he presented you the ring in the box. who lets out a sweet laugh when you kneel down in return, showing your own ring that you bought for him

yandere! husband who definitely cried on your wedding, wiping away his tears silently as he turns his back to you, not wanting you to see him in such a weak and vulnerable state. turning back to you with the wet handkerchief still in his hand, who can feel the tears coming back once again as he sees your knowing look and comforting smile

yandere! husband who is happy with your married life. the new adventures of moving into a new house, decorating it to your liking and modifying your rooms being an exciting life for him. he loved the moments where you two put paint of each other’s faces instead of painting the walls, choosing the colors on complete random with an eeny, meeny, mini, mo game, dancing with you bare feet in the kitchen as you both wait for the water to boil for the cup ramen at midnight. he would want to hold your hand in his own, the wedding rings clicking against each other softly as he giggles

yandere! husband who wants to try for a baby after years into the marriage. it was a surprise to him how he managed to wait patiently for so long after your marriage. while he wanted desperately to get himself knocked up at the night of consummation of your marriage, he understood your wishes to wait until the perfect time. finally, he thinks it is the perfect timing, after years of protected sex and daydreams of feeling his cunt get filled, tells you of his plan

yandere! husband who purposefully poked a tiny hole into every condom there is at your home, who huffs a fake annoyed noise whenever the material tears as you try to put it around your strap. he may have a pout on his face and talk about trying it raw on the outside but on the inside he is fucking giddy. he wants to feel your cock constantly pushing into his wet pussy walls so bad and he couldn’t help but curse silently under his breath when you take out a lone condom that was thankfully reserved in the pockets of one of your pants

yandere! husband who suggests on riding you instead of taking it as usual. a sudden change in your usual sex life but you didn’t mind trying new things out. laying on your back, you watch and let out occasional groans and low moans as you see how his sweet pussy swallows you whole, the fat of his ass higgling every time he bounces himself on your strap, asking you to slap and squeeze it. which you do gladly, lightly slapping as the jiggling flesh, making your husband giggle

yandere! husband who gets annoyed as the feeling of the condom around your cock, skillfully bouncing himself until he ‘accidentally’ slips your strap out. he swears it was the amount of lube you used, grabbing your cock with his hand and tapping his dripping pussy with the tip. your husband who makes a show, wiggling his hips as he slides the tip inside and sinking down until he feels full again. not yet, he thinks to himself, knowing that you would get suspicious if he tries his plan too early on

yandere! husband who keeps ‘accidentally’ slipping your strap out of his gushing cunt, whining until his patience finally ends. the next time it slips out, his fingers pinch at the tip of the wet condom, pulling on the material with a pout and a mumbled “it’s in the way..” until it comes off with a lewd pop!

yandere! husband who disregards your frantic words of protection and taking a second for you to put on another one, turning around to face you now as he sinks down onto your strap with one move. the feeling of your own cock, without any annoying latex in the way making him cream around your fat cockhead instantly, a drawn out satisfied whine falling from his lips

yandere! husband who clenches around your strap on purpose every time he moves. his hands guiding yours to touch his chest, the top scars that healed beautifully and to squeeze and fondle his nipples “u-until i sta—anngh ah haagh mmgh♡︎! start to lactate, just like your sweet baby momma uungh♥︎!!” while his pretty pussy squeezes your strap like a vice, unwilling to let go or not even daring to think so. he wanted to feel your cum, hot seeds painting his walls white and making his legs shake

yandere! husband who silences your weak protests for a protection with a messy kiss. noses knocking together, tongue immediately pushing into your mouth and wanting to ‘connect’ with you on a deeper level. he wanted everything you have to offer and seeing the small trail of saliva left behind as you pulled back for a gasping breath made him giggle deliriously

yandere! husband who increases his pace when he hears you struggling to talk, words of cumming together coming out in a jumbled mess as he sits himself fully in your lap. pushing your pelvises together until no gap was between them, throwing his head back with a satisfied mewl when he finally feels it. that warmth he’s been craving so long, filling up his womb, mixing with his love juice as the excessive mixed cum drops down your strap

yandere! husband who gets pushed into his back, legs pushed up and over until his knees were beside his head. put into a mating press with your annoyed face staring down at him just made him clench around you, a drunk giggle of your name falling from his lips. he gladly spreads his weeping pussy open further, with you still inside him, letting you see the mess you two made

yandere! husband who drops his act entirely, wiggling his hips with heart shaped pupils as he asks you to breed him. cum inside him as many times as you want, he wants a baby with you, it’s about time you two take your relationship to the next level. “i’ll be a good baby momma… and you’re already a wonderful lover who would become a wonderful parent. come on [name], breed me full of your seeds♥︎”

yandere! husband who gets fucked thoroughly to his wish. crying out all sorts of filthy words every time your cock sinks back into his cunt. thin drools on his chin, old tear stains constantly being replaced by new ones as his pussy clenches around you for the nth time, forcing you to cum earlier than you usually does. overwhelming amount of your mixed cum wetting the bedsheets, your thighs and his own as well as his butt. not like he cared, he wanted to make sure he gets knocked up, that you get him knocked up as he creams around you again, creating an even thicker halo of white around your strap

yandere! husband who shows his filthier side, holding your head against his chest and asking you to suck on his nipples, who place your hand over his tcock, telling you to “s-stroke! my cock too ahh haagh♡︎ mgh n-not fair that mmuungh uunghk my cock is being left alone♡︎!”

yandere! husband who lets out one last hoarse wail, the wetness of his cunt making you groan as your strap cums inside him for the nth time that night before collapsing on top of him. he had passed out, tired from the continuous pounding he received as he lay there peacefully with flushed red cheeks, tearstains and drools on his chin and cheeks while pretty bruises and lovebites cover his skin. the most notable bruises being the ones on his hips and thighs, making you grimace at the painful wound you saw. but hey, the small bulge in his belly from your excessive cum inside his womb made you happy. it definitely made him happy too

yandere! husband who occasionally regains consciousness during your aftercare for him. who groans and refuses to let you pull out for bath, straddling your lap inside the warm water filled bathtub. he couldn’t help but slur out a “noo… don’t pull out” as you push his pelvic away from yours, feeling the cum inside his pussy to drip down his legs

yandere! husband who now eagerly wait for the signs of pregnancy with a full boxes of pregnancy test at his side of the nightstand, who still poke secret holes into your condoms because when did he said he wanted only one baby with you?

⇨ characters i think fits: jing yuan, dan feng, yingxing, sunday, aventurine, argenti, dan heng il, gepard, sampo, luocha, caelus, luka, jiaoqui, itto, baizhu, ayato, thoma, childe, pantalone, dottore, kaeya, kaveh, lyney, neuvillette, sethos, heizou, venti, rubedo, aalto, xiangli yao, scar, yoriichi, haganezuka, douma, kaigaku, jyugo, uno, kiji, honey, trois, kenshirou yozakura, musashi, houzuki sanzou, ruka gojou, seitarou, tsukumo, mitsuru, sinbad, sharkkan, spartos, koumei, titus, muu alexius, sphintus, rafayel, mammon, asmodeus, mephistopheles, diavolo, belphegor, simeon, solomon, satan + anyone you like

[miange1]

HYUN-JU

male reader, reader is a college student, talks of dysphoria, hyun-ju's past, reader doesn't know hyun ju's trans, pining/being smitten, death, crying, scuicidal thoughts, im in love with this woman.

note: i am not trans, im a cis dude. if i ever get something wrong or offensive and you're trans just let me know and i'll fix it. Also I saw something where someone said gyeong-seok probably just thought hyun ju was a cis woman who had a really deep voice and i thought it was funny.

You had been lucky to pass the first game. You were scared out of your mind, and the small group you made from the first few games had died. It was terrible, you had no one. It's surprising how despite everyone being in the same situation— you found no more comfort.

But there was this girl you had seen. She had shoulder length hair, and earrings that truly just suit her. She was really pretty, you wanted to talk to her yet she was always with her own group.

Yet this time, she wasn't. She was just by herself for a moment, was she thinking to herself? Maybe you should talk to her? No, that's a bad idea. Okay, but what else was there to do? You might die without talking to the woman of your dreams.

Mustering up the little courage you had, you went over to her. Hands sweaty the closer you got to her. You wiped it on your slightly blood stained uniform, feeling even more icky realizing you were bloody.

Getting closer to her, you sat on a mattress. Shit, what now? You cleared your throat, "H..hi." you felt like you were back in highschool. Mouth dry as if you were talking to your fist crush. She looked over to you, a small smile on her curious face. "Hi."

She spoke to you, holy crap she spoke to you.

"How uh— how are you?" You stuttered.

But before she could answer you shook your head, blurting for her not to answer that stupid question. Jesus your face was burning up, felt like you had a fever.

"I'm sorry," You were able to get that out. "This is dumb, I just thought you were really pretty and.." She hadn't broken eye contact with you, but you could barely look at her. "In a situation like this it's pretty weird to say something like that to someone isn't it?"

"You think I'm pretty?"

You shut your mouth, looking at her oddly. "Yeah..of course i do. Do you not think so?" She scoffed, thinking you were joking. She had just gotten called beautiful by young-mi, and she believed it she truly did. But hearing it from someone she barely knew? Made her feel like crying again.

"I have been called a lot of things, yet not pretty. I only expected to be called pretty after my transition." That was where you made another face more confused than before. "Transition?" Your voice spoke with genuine confusion.

She raised her eyebrow at you, then rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that. I know you can tell." You really couldn't. There was nothing you had against transgender people at all, but it doesn't change the fact you couldn't tell.

"I really wasn't aware, was that offensive to you?" She stared at you for a moment, bursting out laughing after a while and earning some stares. "My voice? Even hearing me, you weren't aware?" You shook your head and shrugged.

"I just thought you had a naturally deep voice." Oh you were making her feel so much better, even if you didn't know it. She couldn't stop laughing, grabbing onto your shoulder as a touch of affection. It made you smile and laugh with her, your own hand touching hers to reciprocate.

The two of you had deeper talks over time until the next game. She told you what you guessed she told the others, about her plan on what to do with the money, how she had others distance themselves from her when she told them she felt like a woman. It made you feel bad, but you were happy she was telling you this because it felt like you had known each other for so long.

You wished it lasted longer

—

"Six." The moment it was spoke, you had been pulled by hyun ju. It was a habit she was making, always grabbing you the moment the she heard the number. But this time, she made a mistake. She realized last minute young-mi was too behind.

She panicked, no one else seemed to have room and it was a moment of time before she absolutely had to close the door.

Hyun ju's grip stayed on you, it seemed to get tighter the more stressed she got. Young mi was just a kid, she deserved to live on.

"10, 9, 8,"

You only had so much time to decide. You yanked yourself from hyun ju's grip, and she instantly gave you a look as if you were stupid. "What are you doing?" She wanted to save you both, but you knew that wasn't possible.

You didn't speak, only letting your lips touch hers quickly, yet you stayed as long as you could. Even in death you would always remember her lips, they trembled against yours, confused, yet wanting and needing more. You let yourself run out, pushing the girl inside. "1."

It was done, and there was nothing that could be done. You heard the yell of her voice, panicking and shaking the door trying to get it to open. "No, no, unlock the door! God damn it!"

"I love you." She stopped, looking at you in your eyes. You were scared too, crying even. You didn't want to die, and she knew it. She was so deeply in love with someone she only knew for a few hours, but it felt like years. She needed you, she wanted you to live. Get to know you better when this was all over, maybe even go further if it could!

She couldn't even say it back while you were conscious. The life left your eyes, and your body fell. "No.." she was in disbelief. No, you weren't dead.

"Please, please, I love you too.." She couldn't be upset at anyone, she couldn't even stand on her own two feet.

"Unnie." Arms wrapped around her, "Come on..you have to get up..the next round." She didn't want to play anymore, she didn't feel like she could. If only it was her, she could have at least had hope for you and young-mi.

Damn it

[reonaissance]

⟡ ──⠀ loving bites.

⟡ ⠀ blue lock.

⟡ ⠀ summary. :: their reaction, when you bite them out of the blue. ⟡ ⠀ pairing(s). :: Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Bachira Meguru, Isagi Yoichi, Chigiri Hyoma, Nagi Seishiro, Mikage Reo x gn!Reader ⟡ ⠀ warnings. :: sfw, fluff, comedy ⟡ ⠀ word count. :: —

⟡ ⠀ Itoshi Rin

-> he would look at you with a judgy look and mind his own business afterwards.

-> he ignores it until he feels your teeth sinking in his upper arm again.

-> he does not need to ask what you wanted to achieve with biting him out of the blue, his glare speaks enough for itself.

-> when you explain him, it was a love bite but in a non-sexual way, showing him you love him, he would not understand, why you wound like to bite him rather than just say the words 'I love you' or to show it in other ways.

-> but he would get used to it after some time.

-> he would simply accept his fate of being bitten and maybe bite you back once to let you see how it feels.

-> but be prepared to be ignored afterwards and to never ever talk about it again.

⟡ ⠀ Itoshi Sae

-> like rin, he would give you a judgy look but ten times worse.

-> he would GLARE at you like you brought up the law to make football illegal.

-> and he wouldn’t say anything until you give him an explanation.

-> and this dude bites you back SO hard, you stop doing it out of fear, he might bite a piece of your flesh out the next time.

-> and it helps for like two or three months before you try again with light bites.

-> he bites you back again, this time a little lighter, but still hard enough to scare you to not do it for a while.

-> it would go on like that for a while until he accepts his fate of getting bitten no matter what he does against it. just don’t bite too hard to leave marks.

⟡ ⠀ Bachira Meguru

-> this dude would bite you back in an instant.

-> no hesitation, head empty, he would bite you back in your shoulder with a little too much force, making you squeak. but he didn’t mean to hurt you.

-> he would kiss the spot afterwards to say sorry.

-> I can also Imagine him biting you out of the blue too (basically the exact same thing what you did).

-> And with that the nom war starts.

-> the one who bites the other more often throughout the day wins and can decide what you do in the evening or the next day.

-> I can see all the bite marks on the shoulders of both of you from when you bit the other a little to hard.

-> it almost looks like an aggressive cat bit you from head to toe.

-> the bites seem just a little too big for a cat. But no one asks further. And no one speculates who it was because a short glimpse at him is enough to know who it was. and they simply shut up.

⟡ ⠀ Isagi Yoichi

-> he would be a little worried and would ask you if everything is alright.

-> maybe you’re hungry, maybe he’s sitting on something you’ve been searching the whole time and you need it and he doesn’t even know.

-> he’s just worried and wants the best for you.

-> after you gave him an explanation that it’s a way of showing your love to him, he calms down.

-> he thinks it’s cute. It remembers him of a cat. He saw many cats on the internet biting their owner lightly as a way of showing their love.

-> a little extravagant, but still cute.

-> when he has the courage, he bites you back now and then. Not often though.

-> he just doesn’t want to hurt you.

⟡ ⠀ Chigiri Hyoma

-> head empty, no thought, he just noms you back.

-> of course he knows what you want to tell him and what a nom is, he knows and follows all the trends.

-> like bachira, he would make a challenge out of it, watching who can bite the other more often throughout the day.

-> he would even record it occasionally, edit all the clips in one smooth video like all those shelving videos and upload it on TikTok (with your consent of course).

-> the people in the comments would freak out at how cute they think it is (the comment section is full of caps and crying emojis).

⟡ ⠀ Nagi Seishiro

-> he's too lazy to even acknowledge it.

-> but when he does, he would sink his teeth softly in the flesh of your shoulder after he finished his round or paused his game.

-> but forget bringing him to mom you again. it’s likely for him to not do it again because it’s a hassle for him to open up his mouth .

⟡ ⠀ Mikage Reo

-> reo would have an all lovey dovey look on his face with hearts in his eyes.

-> this boy loves everything you do. he's obsessed with every bit of you.

-> you don't need to explain, he understands the meaning of it. he watched enough cat videos doing it.

-> he is so nice and would return the gesture with a light nom in your upper arm. you don’t even feel his teeth sinking in your flesh.

-> he can’t stand it, when you get hurt, especially if he’s the one who hurt you.

-> after you started it, he’s continuing with it. not making a war out of it, but every now and then, when nobody else’s around, he noms you.

-> he would stand behind you, warping his arms around your waist and then sink his teeth in you shoulder or upper arm.

──⠀ lovs monologue

reupload time! I also changed some parts. just some minor things except for nagis part.

© lovingluxury | @/cafekitsune’s dividers

[ashwhowrites]

Hi, love your work and can’t wait to see what you do with this. Eddie/reader. Reader is Chrissy’s best friend since childhood. She’s not popular, is more of a nerd and is always overlooked, used or ignored for Chrissy. A school event is coming up and Eddie, who has always seen her, wants to ask her out. Reader gets confused and thinks he wants to ask Chrissy out and wants her help. She’s super insecure. Can Eddie show her his true intentions in time.

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻

Not her, you

Y/N loved having Chrissy as her best friend. She was a sweet girl who'd do anything for Y/N and Y/N would do the same for her. The only struggle she faced was living in Chrissy's shadow.

Y/N wasn't in the same crowd as Chrissy and they were only best friends because they met as children. Chrissy got popular and Y/N wasn't meant to be. She was a nerd, she liked nerdy things and didn't find an interest in sports or clubs.

It was a common occurrence for people to use Y/N to get to Chrissy. Y/N was positive that every guy that has ever talked to her, was interested in getting to Chrissy. Which sucked and knocked Y/N's confidence down to hell but she wasn't going to dread it. Plus Y/N was too shy to have a boyfriend anyway, she'd never go for a guy like she liked. And well no guys liked her.

At least that's what she believes. Unknown to her, Eddie has spent the last two weeks trying to get himself to talk to her. A school carnival was coming up and he wanted to ask her to go with him. He knew he shouldn't be scared. She was nice and shy, it wasn't like she would scream in his face and laugh about it with her friends. But the thought of rejection held him back.

Before he knew it the carnival was happening tomorrow and tonight was his last chance. Chrissy was throwing a party and Eddie knew Y/N would be there. He hoped with liquid courage he could get the damn question out of his head and out his mouth.

~

Y/N grabbed more beers from the garage and set them on the table. The party was loud but luckily mostly everyone was outside. A few loners inside and a few couples who disappeared down the halls.

Y/N kept to herself during the parties. Chrissy often got busy with everyone but always checked in on her. Y/N wasn't much of a partier but she'd never say no to Chrissy.

"Y/N, right?"

Y/N jumped as a voice came from behind her. She held her hand over her chest and turned around. She smiled when she saw Eddie standing there, a red cup in his hand.

"Yes, and Eddie?" She asked to clarify, even though she knew exactly who he was. He was a pretty boy with long hair and a perfect smile. He nodded and she smiled.

"So awesome party, huh?" Eddie asked, cringing at how stupid he sounded. Y/N lightly laughed.

"Um yeah. Not really my scene but it's not horrible," Y/N shrugged

"Yeah, I get that. I'm not well liked so parties aren't my thing," Eddie lightly laughed. He reached behind her to grab a beer. Y/N felt her body stiffen from having him so close to her.

"I wanted to ask you something about the carnival tomorrow," Eddie said, he took a deep breath. He prepared to say it all. Her eyes were waiting for him to continue and he got nervous. The alcohol was wearing off faster than he wanted. He opened his mouth and-

"Are you and Chrissy going?"

He wanted to smack himself

"We are, kinda like a girls' night out," she said with a smile

"Oh that's a bummer, I mean! Good for you guys. Friendship is important. I know it's kinda like a date and couple spot, you know? Maybe it can be a date" Eddie ranted. He blabbed when he was nervous and boy was he nervous.

"I mean I could probably talk to her and rearrange things," Y/N smiled. "If you were interested, I mean. We can have many other girl nights."

Eddie beamed happily, smiling, "Yeah, that would be great. I wrote down my number in hopes I would get this far."

Y/N laughed and accepted the piece of paper.

"It was nice talking to you," Y/N smiled. Eddie waited until she was out of sight before he pumped his fist in victory.

Y/N walked outside in search of Chrissy. She found the pretty blonde standing alone.

"Hey, got something for you," Y/N said, handing the paper over to her. Chrissy smiled and took the paper.

"What's this?" Chrissy asked as she read the number

"Eddie Munson's number. He wants to take you to the carnival on a date. I promise I'm cool with it." Y/N explained.

"Well, I'm not! You've had a crush on him for months. I'm not going on a date with him," Chrissy scoffed.

"Chris, he was so happy when I said I'd rearrange things. Who cares if I have a crush on him. If he likes you, my crush is pointless." Y/N shrugged

"It's not pointless. And I'm not going on this date."

~

The next morning Eddie was beaming with excitement. He was waiting on the phone for hours, waiting for her to call to talk about the details of the date.

When the phone rang, he was fast to answer it on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Eddie, It's Chrissy,"

"Oh hi, what's up?" Eddie asked. He was confused as to why Chrissy would be calling him and how she got his number.

"I'm sorry but I can't go on a date with you tonight," Chrissy said, she felt horrible. She was never good at telling people no.

"Date? What date?" Eddie asked, the longer the conversation went on the more confused he became.

"At the carnival? Y/N gave me your number last night at the party," Chrissy explained

"Oh, um, I actually was trying to ask her out. My number was meant for her,"

"That's amazing!" Chrissy squealed, "Grab a pen, I'm giving you her number."

~

Y/N twirled in front of the mirror, terrified for her date.

"You don't have to be nervous! He likes you," Chrissy said as she placed a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder.

"But what if doesn't once we are alone together? We've never truly talked. Maybe he'll hate my personality."

"He's going to love your personality! There is nothing to dislike about you,"

Y/N tried to believe her words and tried to boost her confidence as she heard a call pull up. She walked over to her window and saw Eddie walking towards her front door.

"Take a deep breath and have fun," Chrissy said before she sent Y/N out the door.

~

Y/N already was feeling comfortable around Eddie as they arrived at the carnival. She didn't dress up too much but still put a little effort into her appearance. With the amount of compliments Eddie gave her when she opened the door, she felt as if she did a good job.

They walked around the carnival, stopping at a few stands to play games.

"How are you so good at this?" Eddie laughed

He tossed the basketball and it smacked the rim and bounced at him. Y/N smiled as she easily made basket after basket.

"No idea, I don't even do sports," Y/N laughed

"WINNER WINNER!"

The loud alarm blared as the worker reached up and grabbed a small stuffed bear. She smiled as she grabbed it. Her smile grew bigger as she handed the bear to Eddie.

"Isn't the guy supposed to win a prize for the girl?" Eddie joked, but more than happy to take the bear with a smile

"Maybe if he was good at basketball," Y/N teased

Eddie laughed and shoved her shoulder. "Next stand, I'm creaming your ass."

~

After a few hours of winning prizes and spending most of their money, they made their way to the parking lot.

"Want any yet?" Eddie asked as he held his bucket of cotton candy

"Sure," Y/N said as they made it to his van. She went to reach for a piece when Eddie grabbed a piece and fed it to her. She blushed as she leaned in and ate the piece of cotton candy from his fingers.

She felt nervous at how close their faces were. She swallowed the candy but didn't move away. He stared into her eyes, loving the way the moon shined on her.

She gulped as he began to lean in. He closed his eyes and she followed his lead. They moved closer until their lips met. Y/N felt her stomach erupt in butterflies as his lips moved against hers. He moved his right hand to cup her face as his left held the candy.

She wasn't sure what to do but she moved her hands to lay flat on his stomach as she lost herself in the kiss. He tasted of cotton candy and his lips were soft.

She waited until he began to pull away before she did. She kept her hands on his stomach as she opened her eyes and met his brown ones.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then Eddie smiled and walked around to open the door for her. She smiled and got into the van. Her fingers touched her lips softly as he closed the door and headed to the driver's side.

The ride was full of laughter and easy conversation. She couldn't remember why she was nervous in the first place. Everything with him felt right and they clicked well.

She felt a little bummed that the night was over as he pulled back into her driveway.

"I had a lot of fun. Thank you," she said. Her voice was so quiet that Eddie barely heard her.

"Thank you for saying yes," he said with a smile, turning to face her. She opened the door but before she got out, she leaned over and softly touched his chin. She slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against his. It felt even better than the first one.

She pulled away leaving him wanting more.

"Goodnight, Eddie," she got out of the car and closed the door. Eddie was fast to get out of his van and follow her up to her door.

"Can we do this again, sometime?" He asked, she turned around to look at him.

"Absolutely"

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[motorsportbarbie13]

Aftermath - Chapter 3

When Lando leaves you heartbroken after you get tired of trying to make nothing into something for far too long, Max steps in to help you pick up the pieces.

warnings: this chapter contains language and descriptions that illustrate abuse (mental and emotional). lando is abusive, full stop but like many survivors of abuse, it takes reader a bit to claw herself out of this. as a survivor of abuse myself, I am doing my best to give this story line the most respect and care that i can. please don't engage with my work if you find any of the topics triggering.i'd also like to point out that this is a character i am writing, i in no way am insinuating or implying the real lando is like this in any way. pairing: max verstappen x leclercsister!reader word count: 4.9k

(Extra special shout out to @nitaekook for beta reading and holding my hand through this fic 😂❤️)

Aftermath - MV33 - Chapter 1 Aftermath - Chapter 2 Master List

“Where do you want these plates to go, my dear?” Jade asks from across the kitchen. 

You glance up at her from your spot on the brand new couch that was just delivered to the new apartment that morning. You’re sitting cross legged unpacking a box of the few things that you had brought over from the old apartment. In the kitchen, your best friend Jade (who is also Arthur’s girlfriend of about a year thanks to your meddling) stands holding up one of the new plates that you bought with her yesterday. 

“Wherever there’s room.” You say with a shrug, not really caring where the plates go because everything feels weird.

The apartment is pristine with its gorgeous hardwood flooring that Charles had refinished before you moved in, floor to ceiling windows that face out towards the water, and that new house smell that is totally unfamiliar and a little unnerving. You should be happy, shouldn’t you? Finally being free of the stifling apartment that you had shared with Lando should fill you with so much optimism and a sense of relief, shouldn’t it? But that’s not the case. Not even close. You’re scared and nervous and just the thought of deciding where those plates should go seems like the heaviest question you've ever been asked.

 Simply picking out the plates yesterday with Jade had been an ordeal and you had needed to take several moments to yourself while shopping. You liked your old plates that you had bought with Lando the week you moved in with him but at the same time, the thought of taking those to your new apartment was more painful than leaving them behind.

Jade must notice your anxiety because as soon as she finishes putting the plates and bowls in whatever cabinet that suits her fancy, she comes over to sit next to you on the couch. When she wraps her arm around your shoulders you melt into her in a desperate attempt to stop a fresh flood of tears from falling. It seems as if all you’ve done since leaving the old apartment was cry and if you’re not crying, you’re barely fighting off an incoming panic attack and jumping with every ding of your phone. 

“What’s going on, my love?” Her voice is gentle, like she’s talking to an injured animal that she doesn’t want to spook. It makes you feel pathetic, helpless, and angry for how much Lando has damaged you when he should have been loving you. 

You’ve known Jade for years now and she’s always been one of your closest friends. It was Jade that had been the first of your friend group to pull you aside almost a year ago to ask you if you were truly happy with Lando. She had seen the light dim in your eyes as your relationship with him progressed and watching you lose your spark had scared her. When you had told her the morning after your art show last month that you had finally decided to leave Lando, it had been so hard for her to tamp down her excitement that you had finally worked up the courage to leave him. 

“I should be happy, right?” You ask, voice cracking a bit with the heavy weight of what closing the door on the apartment for the very last time had done to you that morning. “I mean, I know I’ve been miserable for…” You scoff, “a really long time so shouldn’t I feel something other than heartbreakingly sad?” 

Jade tips her head so it rests on your shoulder, a humming sound playing at the back of her throat. “You’ve been with him for a long time, of course you’re going to be heartbroken. Youu’re doing the right thing though, I promise you. He couldn’t even stop playing that stupid video game long enough to support you last month!” 

You nod, memory flickering back to the fight in the hallway in front of Max. You hadn’t heard much from him in the weeks since that night aside from a few texts here and there and you had expected that. He probably was mortified at how you had behaved, embarrassed for you that you had allowed yourself to be treated that way in front him.

You wouldn’t have blamed him if he thought you were a weak little girl who deserved the treatment Lando doled out to you. It was the only way you could rationalize his silence. Seeing how far you’d fallen, how much you’d changed, had obviously had an effect on Max and he had decided he’d seen enough. It didn’t surprise you and you didn’t blame him. Jade was one of your only remaining friends and losing yet another person you trusted and valued in your life was just another thing Lando had taken from you. 

“I’m just so glad you finally are taking your power back, love. I know it feels all wrong right now but when you go from the chaos that you’ve been living in for so long, I’m sure the calm of this apartment feels wrong. You’ll get used to it. It might take some time but you’ll get used to it.” 

Your head swivels around to look your best friend and you search her face for any sign of her lying to you. You desperately want to believe she’s right, that you’re making the right choice. You know you are, deep down in your soul, but you’ve been with Lando for so long and have spent so many nights listening to him rant and rave about how he’s the only one who could ever deal with your dramatics that you wonder if Jade is wrong and Lando is the one who’s been right all along. You don’t voice the doubts though, knowing that those kinds of things are something that you should probably keep to yourself. So instead of voicing all of the fears that are bouncing around in your chest, making it feel heavy and tight with the pressure of doing something that absolutely terrifies you, you just nod and lean further into Jade’s shoulder.

 “I know.” You whisper, staring out over the open living room that is littered with small boxes and suitcases. 

With the help of your brothers and Jade, you had started moving your things out slowly while Lando had been otherwise distracted. Just a small box of clothes and trinkets here and there, over the last month while Charles had the apartment renovated and cleaned. When it was finally ready last week, you had begun looking for furniture and making final plans. 

The timing had worked out perfectly, with the apartment finally being finished perfectly aligning with a weeklong trip Lando had planned to go to Woking to spend time in the sim at the MTC. He rarely bothered you during these working trips, hell he barely bothered you during any of this trips, but his work trips were different, so you knew you’d have a solid week to get everything that mattered to you out of the apartment before he would be any wiser. 

“He’s going to be so mad when he comes home and my things are gone.” You murmur, staring down at your phone which hadn’t received so much as a text message from him in almost 48 hours. 

You hadn’t bothered telling Lando you were leaving, that you were done with him. You shied away form confrontation on even the best of days so telling the man that you’d spent the last three years building a life together that you were leaving him was terrifying. When you had started moving small boxes out while Lando was still in town, you had half expected him to notice but that had never been a problem. He hadn’t even noticed you leaving on several occasions with boxes of your books or suitcases of clothes. 

A larger part of you had another reason for not telling him, though. You knew that if you told him before you were fully moved out he’d try to get you to stay. He’d try to convince you that things would get better, that this time would be different. All the things that he’s said before when you spent the night crying over his neglect. And you knew you’d fall for it. You knew you’d go running back to him if you didn’t get out before he found out. Lando was persistent and an expert manipulator, you knew that and you still fell for it over and over again so this time you were trying to give yourself the chance to put yourself first and not fall back into his trap. 

“He’s going to learn his lesson when he comes home and finds that you’re finally moving on.” Jade says, tone firm but still gentle. She knows what it’s like to be in a relationship like you have with Lando and when you had called her that morning last month to tell her you were finally leaving him, she had decided she was going to make sure she’d do everything in her power to keep you from going back to him. Getting you unpacked and settled in your new apartment was a huge step forward, one Jade hadn’t been sure you would end up following through with. 

You nod, hoping she’s right but you have a feeling deep in your gut that when Lando gets back into town tomorrow morning he’s not going to see it that way. He’s going to be angry and he’s going to try to get you to come back home to him. 

Looking around your new apartment though, you feel something settle in your bones that you haven’t felt in a very long time. It’s a feeling of attachment to this place. Like if you’re careful and thoughtful, this little apartment tucked away in one of the most exclusive buildings in Monaco could be the best opportunity you have for getting your life back on track. You could heal here, you can feel that in the way the sunlight spills through the windows in the living room, in the way your anxiety allows you to breathe when you stand in the kitchen surrounded by things that you bought yourself, and in in the way you feel when you settle yourself on your brand new bed that will have never shared an intimate moment between you and Lando. Those memories have all been left behind and this new apartment seems like the perfect place for a new beginning. 

As Jade comforts you on your couch, your brother is across town arriving at the Monaco Sports Club where he has a game of padel scheduled with Max that afternoon. He had offered to cancel on him this morning when you spoke to him on the phone, saying that your first full day in the apartment was more important than any padel game, but you had insisted that he keep his game. You had wanted a bit of space to breathe from your brothers, who you knew meant very well and you were very grateful for but sometimes, the three men got to be a little suffocating. So, against his better judgement, Charles had skipped coming over that afternoon in favor of hanging out with Max. 

Max hasn’t stopped thinking about that night last month when he witnessed Lando being needlessly cruel to you. He had every intention of calling Charles that night, had every intention of telling him how the British driver was actually treating you but something had stopped him. He had needed a little more time to process everything that he saw. Max knew that Lando could be an asshole but he never could have guessed that he would have treated you the way he did that night he brought you back to the apartment. It had shaken him and it had taken him a bit to figure out exactly how to approach it with Charles because he knew if Charles really knew how Lando had been treating you, Lando might not make it to the next race alive. Because while everyone knew the relationship was toxic and Lando wasn’t a good boyfriend, no one really realized just how bad it had gotten until Max saw behind the curtain that night of the art show. 

When Max had invited Charles to play padel today, he had finally decided to tell him what had gone down that night. It had taken so long because Max kept waffling between ‘this is none of my business’ and ‘she’s everything’ but when he spotted Charles walking through the padel courts towards him, Max was surprised at how happy Charles looked. 

“You look happy.” Max observes before giving his friend a hug. 

“Oh, it is a very good day, mon ami.” Charles is practically glowing as he smiles over at his long time friend. 

Max lifts a brow, it’s been a while since he’s seen Charles look this optimistic and he wonders if it has something to do with you. 

As if Charles reads his mind, he continues, “We finally got the apartment finished and as of this morning, she’s fully left that piece of garbage.” A smug smile plays at the corner of the Ferrari driver’s mouth. 

The relief that washes over Max is surprising. He hadn’t realized how truly worried he was for your well being until that moment. The guilt that sets in though has his chest aching. How could he have gone so long without saying something to someone about what he had seen that night? Max carefully weighs his decision that he had been so set on just moments before. If you’ve already left Lando and are settling into your apartment, does Charles really need to know what happened that night? It would only cause more drama and Max knew that more drama and anxiety was the last thing you needed. 

In a split second decision that he knows could come back to haunt him, Max decides to keep quiet for now. 

“That is the best thing I’ve heard all day.��� With a genuine grin, Max bounces the padel ball against the floor. 

Charles beams back at him and Max can almost see the stress that his friend has been carrying around recently melting away from his features. He had known that your brother was worried about you, had known your entire circle, or what was left of it, was worried but now that this was really happening, Max could practically feel the relief rolling off of Charles in waves. 

“You’re telling me.” Charles mutters before walking to the other side of the court to get the game started. 

Max hadn’t meant to end up in your old neighborhood, truly he hadn’t. He had been on a run the morning after playing padel for a few hours with Charles when he passed the bakery that was a few blocks from your old apartment. He hadn’t meant to come this far but the pressures of the season were starting to get to him as they usually did around this time of year and he had needed extra time to clear his head. The fact that he couldn’t seem to get you off his mind either plagued him the entire run too. The way you had felt pressed against his side as he walked you home that night last month, the way your cheeks flamed with humiliation as Lando had laid into you in front of him when he walked you to your door, everything about you seemed to be invading his thoughts and it worried him. 

It worried him because he couldn’t let you get under his skin like this. He knew it was a dangerous game he was playing, knowing what you’ve been through and allowing himself to wander down that road. He was just happy you were safe now and hopefully you would start to get that spark back that he knew you still had in you. Everything else would have to wait. 

So when he passed the bakery you had pointed out as your favorite the night he had walked you home, he couldn’t help but follow his feet inside. The smells of freshly baked bread and sweet pastries washed over his senses as the bell above the wooden door jingled, announcing his arrival. He knew exactly what he was looking for before the woman behind the counter even asked and before he was able to second guess his decision, Max was walking out of the bakery moments later with half a dozen of what he knew were your favorite almond croissants. 

A housewarming gift, he told himself. Because what other way should Max welcome his newest neighbor to the building where he had lived for the last two years? He knew these were your favorites and if he had to guess, wandering back into your old neighborhood just for some carbs was probably at the bottom of your ‘to do’ list right now, even if they were heavenly pieces of baked bread and sweet almond filling. 

While Max made his way back across town, laden down with a large pink bakery box, you were just getting out of bed and starting your day. Anxiety, a feeling that seemed to be your constant companion lately, sits heavy on your shoulders as you move around the new apartment. The quiet hush that blankets the small space is different than the stifling silence you're used to in your apartment with Lando. It was unnerving to say the least but if you allowed yourself to pause for even just a moment, you could almost feel your soul breathing a sigh of relief. 

That wash of contentment is short lived though when a knock at your front door sends your heart rate spiking through the roof. You know that Lando was going to be home today but didn't know what time. It didn’t even cross your mind that there was no way it was him outside your door because he simply didn’t know where you had moved to but just the thought of someone who you weren’t expecting waiting for you and the possibility that it could be your now ex-boyfriend had you spiraling. 

Reaching for your phone, you pull up the security system app that Charles had insisted you get installed, despite the fact that this was a very well secured building with its own doorman downstairs 24/7. The person standing outside your door has confusion knitting your brow together. 

Pancake ingredients forgotten, you pad towards the door shuffling through various emotions: relief that it isn’t Lando waiting for you on the other side, apprehension about seeing the person that was patiently waiting in the hallway for you, and a bit of relief that you hadn’t lost this person like you thought you might have. 

“Max, what a pleasant surprise.” You murmur when you swing the door open. 

In front of you, the Dutch driver is dressed for a workout in athletic shorts and a t-shirt, his blond hair covered in a backwards baseball cap. You’re surprised at the shimmer of pleasure that works its way up your spine when he smiles at you but quickly squash the feeling, remembering the pity on his face as Lando had yelled at you that night he walked you home. 

“I was on a run this morning and remembered you saying this bakery was your favorite. I thought I’d bring you some almond croissants as a sort of ‘welcome to the building’ present.” 

Warmth spreads through your belly at the gesture and you hold the door open to welcome Max into the apartment. “Welcome to the building?” You ask, confused. 

Max grins back at you, rubbing at the back of his neck as he follows you to the kitchen. “I live up in the penthouse. I moved in about two years ago.”

Surprise flickers across your face. When you started dating Lando, your friendship with Max had grown distant so it shouldn’t shock you that you didn’t even know where your friend lived. “Oh, I didn’t realize.” You whisper, guilt settling like a stone in your stomach. 

Max watches you bustle around the kitchen, decidedly avoiding eye contact with him. For a few moments he just observes you, trying to decide if he should leave or push. Charles had mentioned yesterday that you were nervous about living alone and Max wanted to make sure that you were okay. He knew he should probably leave you alone to continue to settle it, with it being only your second day in the apartment alone, but there was something keeping him rooted to the spot where he stood in the middle of the kitchen.

 “Are the almond ones still your favorite?” He asks, shattering the silence that had settled over the room. He knows you’re easily spooked now and Max desperately wants you to be comfortable about him. Maybe if he distracts you from whatever storm is brewing in your head, you’ll open up a bit. 

His patience is rewarded with the first unguarded smile he’s seen from you in a long time. “I can’t believe you remembered.” You laugh, reaching for one of the croissants in the open box. 

“You used to put these things away like nobody’s business when we were younger.” 

The blush that creeps across your cheeks has Max gripping the edge of the counter. The two of you fall into a comfortable conversation of safe topics, mostly about your new apartment and how Max’s cats are doing. You like this, the way you feel around him but you can almost feel your body bracing for the other shoe to fall. You keep waiting to have something stupid slip out of your mouth, causing Max to berate or make fun of you. 

Much to your surprise it never happens though and you spend the next hour talking through memories of when Charles and Max were fighting it out on the karting tracks when you were younger. Max remembered you well from those days, how you would beg to tag along with him and Charles and the older boys. 

The sun sits high in the sky when your phone start buzzing loudly on the counter. At first you ignore it, too lost in the conversation you and Max are having, the way he is so attentive to everything you have to say and how he asks you questions like he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. You don’t want the attention he’s giving you to end but when your phone starts buzzing for the fifth time in a row, you get up off the couch to retrieve it. It was probably just Charles checking on you, you hand’t heard from him all day after all. 

Your heart sinks and your stomach churns when you see the caller ID though. “Fuck.” The whisper that tumbles off of your lips is broken and harsh, causing Max’s head to snap towards where you’re leaning over the counter, forearms braced on either side of your phone. 

“Everything okay?” Max gets up off the couch to join you in the kitchen, concerned over the way you’ve suddenly gone white as a sheet as you stare down at your phone like it’s about to reach up and strangle you right there in the middle of the room. 

In the couple of hours that you had spent catching up with Max, you had completely forgot that Lando was due to get home soon. “I guess Lando has discovered I’m gone.” The way your voice shakes has Max’s heart squeezing. 

“He doesn’t know you moved out?” 

“Well he does now.” You quip, nervous chuckle falling from your lips. The text messages came in first, it looked like. Nearly a dozen of them and as you scroll through the messages, your face heats. Of course this is going to happen with Max here. Why is he always a witness to your humiliation?

Where are you? Why is the closet half empty, where are all your clothes? Baby, why is your treadmill gone? And your Peloton?  Where the FUCK are you??? ANSWER ME NOW WHERE ARE YOU??? DID YOU LEAVE ME THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY YOU’RE DOING THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE NOW COWARD

Shortly after the messages stop, the calls start. You stare down at the phone as Max watches as call after call comes through. 

“You don’t have to answer him.” Max murmurs, coming to stand right next to you. You have to resist the urge to lean into his warmth, to collapse against the quiet strength that rolls off of him in waves.

“It’s only going to get worse if I don’t.” 

“Does he know where you are?” 

You shake your head, tears threatening to spill over. Why was this all happening right now? You knew you were safe, that he had no idea where you had moved to but just the thought of being in the same city as him when he was this angry is enough to have the panic threatening to strangle the breath straight out of your lungs. 

“Then you’re safe. He wouldn’t ever do anything to put his career in danger, Dovie.” 

You have to laugh at the statement because it’s so true. Lando would never do anything to put his career on the line. He’d do whatever it took to keep you in line under his thumb, no matter how mean he had to be to control you but when it came to his career? His first love? He’d never do anything to put his seat in question and you knew that. You had always come second to racing and what Max said was the total truth. 

Max watches you shrink into yourself as the calls continue to come in, one after another, and he knows he has to do something. He glances at the time and instantly gets an idea. “I was supposed to go to dinner with Danny in an hour. What if you leave the phone here for the night and come to dinner with me?” He pauses, seeing the panic flicker across your face. “With us. Come to dinner with us.” He corrects quickly. “I’ll call Charles and see if he’s free too? It’s been a while since we’ve all had dinner together.” 

Your eyes drop down to the phone, now quiet for the moment, and weigh your options. You know you’re not ready to talk to Lando but the fact that you’re ignoring him makes you feel like a coward. You’re going to have to speak to him sometime but maybe it was okay if you put if off for a few more days. Dinner out with Max, Daniel, and your brother sounds so appealing but you still hesitate. 

“Come on, Dovie. You can’t spend the whole night starting at the phone. He’s going to keep calling and it’s not good for you to be alone right now.” 

The pain that slices through your heart at the gentle coaxing Max’s tone takes on is almost unbearable. Why is he always the one to see you laid so bare, so vulnerable? 

“How did I let this happen, Max?” Your voice breaks, soft and uncertain as you turn into Max’s waiting frame. Without hesitation, Max’s arms circle around you and he pulls you deeper into his chest. Something settles in him then, almost like he’s relieved you’ve allowed him in. The way you shake while he holds you has his chest aching and he’d really like to give the McLaren driver a piece of his fucking mind right about then, but he knows that’s going to have to wait for now. You’re much more important. 

“You were in love, schatje and that’s okay. You trusted him and he broke that trust. It’s not a reflection of you, sweet girl, its a reflection of him. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

You sob quietly into his chest, soaking his t-shirt through with your tears as the dam finally breaks. Humiliation threatens to drag you under but you allow Max’s words to resonate through you. They soften the sharp edges of your heartache and regret, knowing that someone like Max, who you respect and have known for nearly your entire life, doesn’t think this entire thing is your fault. You sink into his warmth, clutching at the fabric of his shirt, allowing his steady breath to ground you. 

Max just stands there, a quiet pillar of strength that he can feel you desperately need right now. Hr murmurs quiet reassurances to you as you cry against him, slowly rocking you back and forth. “Come on,” Max coos, lips brushing against the top of your head. “Go take a shower and then lets go to dinner. I’ll call Charles and see if he’s free. You haven’t seen Danny in ages, right? It’ll be good to get out.” 

Dragging in a deep breath, you hold the air in your lungs until they pinch. “Okay.” 

With one last look at your phone, you turn away and walk down the hallway, leaving Max starting at your phone which has finally gone quiet. For several moments, Max just stands at the counter in the kitchen, unable to move. Relief floods his veins when he hears the shower start though and he knows that you’re finally making a small step towards getting out from under Lando’s control.

@shelbyteller, @martygraciesversion381, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @linnygirl09 @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream @daemyratwst @dramaticpiratellamas @mochimommy2002 @llando4norris @iamaunknownsecret @maxivstappen @imlonelydontsendhelp @nina-or-anna-or-nora @a1leexxa @littlegrapejuice @sunflowervol18 @freyathehuntress @finn-dot-com @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @chirasama @lauralarsen @dr3wstarkey @saskiaalonso @rbv3rstappen @ilovechickenwings @guaaafiiburg @mcmuppet @mindless-rock @piastri-fvx @mel164 @schumi-angel @myescapefromthislife @supertrashbread @sunny44 @tinystudentblaze-stuff @sarx164

[mayday2007]

When Daryl Dixon first lays his eyes on you at the quarry, he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. He sees you, all flustered and a little scared, having tumbled from the forest straight into their camp, and everything around him just goes silent.

He's never felt like this before, never felt the strange warmth begining to spread from his stomach up through his chest until time itself slows down when he looks you dead in the eyes. His surroundings fade into a blur of colours and all he can focus on is you. He's beginning to wonder if he accidentally inhaled some of that stuff Merle was sniffing a few hours back.

"Yeah,tha's it." He thougt. 'S jus' a lil drugs 's all."

As the day goes by, he has this need to talk to you but he just can't seem to find the courage. So, he just sits outside his tent, watching the other girls around the camp all fawn over how pretty you are, and he can't help but think the same.

"She is kinda cute." He thought to himself. "Whatcha talkin' bout baby brother?" Merle asked from behind him, startling Daryl a bit. "Nothin', 'sides, ain't yer damn business wha' the hell 'm thinkin' bout anyway." Daryl said gruffly to his older brother,cheeks a dusty pink. Guess he was thinking a little too hard.

That night,as everyone is gathered around the fireplace eating canned soups, Daryl sits next to you, and the entire group is stunned. Ever since Daryl came to the group at around the first week of the apocalypse, he has preferred to eat in his tent, leaving everyone else to worry about his brother.

You stayed there long after the last person went to bed with Daryl by your side, growing ever curious about you. Because in the time you had been at the camp, you hadn't said a word. He looked at you, but when you sighed he looked away, wondering if you had silently caught him for staring, then he blushes with embarrassment knowing himself that he was starting at you. "You just gonna sit there and stare at me till I go to bed or are you gonna tell me your name?"

Daryl whipped he head around to look at you. And to his utter surprise, you were looking him dead in the eyes, smirking up at him. "Y-you talkin' to me?" He asked incredulously. "No, I'm talking to him over there." You said, pointing behind Daryl. He turned his head to see where you were pointing, to see not a soul standing there. When you started laughing, he turned his attention back to you, the melodic sound soothing his ears. "Of course I'm talking to you, silly. There's nobody else up." You laughed, but there was nothing malicious behind it, so Daryl found himself chuckling a bit.

"Daryl." He said gruffly, looking at you and admiring your beautiful features. "My name's Daryl. What about you?" He asked, hoping he hadn't overstepped any boundaries. "My name is y/n, pleased to meet you." You held out your hand for him to shake, and he was a bit taken back by your straightforwardness. He clasped his hand in yours and shook it, blushing slightly at the difference in size.

When the quarry got overrun and the group headed to the farm, Daryl made sure that you were by his side the whole way. He made sure to take you hunting with him, and when he went looking for Sofia, you insisted that you accompany him. And when Andrea accidentally shit him, he was looking up from being helped inside to see you marching towards her, landing a punch on her face, and he couldn't help but be proud of you.

Then the farm got overrun by walkers and you were both separated. Daryl was distraught, thinking you had been bitten or killed. But, when Rick, Carl, Hershel and himself got reunited with Maggie, Beth and you, he had to hold back tears as he ran to you, swiftly sweeping you off your feet in a massive bear hug. He repeatedly asked you if you were okay and if you had any injuries, and it made you giggle slightly at his protectiveness. The time that Lori was pregnant leading up to the prison was hard for the whole group, but having you by his side 24/7 made Daryl feel slightly at ease.

When you lot found the prison, he made sure to keep you near him even more. You both shared a cell, him on the top bunk and you on the bottom. You both grew closer to one another the more time you spent together. One time, Daryl managed to find a bottle of whiskey and you both downed it in one night, telling eachother stories about your lives before the fall. In the morning, Daryl woke up to you still soundly asleep on his chest. He blushed and frantically thought of a way to get you off him whilst keeping you asleep, but he eventually just went back to sleep himself, being too comfortable to move.

After the prison fell, you were with Daryl the whole time along with Beth. You three found the cabin with the moonshine and decided to drink some. Two or three glasses each later, Beth fell asleep, her body curled up beside you as you and Daryl continued to talk until you felt sleepy. Daryl came and sat next to you so you could lay your head on his shoulder, him falling asleep not long after.

When the group found terminus, you were taken into the slaughter house along with Daryl, Rick, Glenn and the other men that had been kidnapped. Daryl was more concerned for you, having been the one to barge one of the men who was going to slit your throat off you before he had the chance. You all made it out alive and Daryl held your hand and refused to let go.

The group eventually found Alexandria, having a safe place to finally call home, Daryl finally confessed his feelings for you while you were in a meadow close by. He picked you a daisy and put it in your hair, a sweet gesture that made you giggle, and it sort of just slipped out.

"I really like ya," he said, his cheeks going a pinky red colour after he realised what he said. "Really?" You asked, sweeping some of his hair out of his eyes. "Y-yeah, yeah I do. In fact, I don' jus' like ya, I love ya. I love ya so much, darlin', ya have no idea." You smiled and leaned in, your noses touching as you could feel his hot breath fanning over your lips. "I love you too Daryl, more than you'll ever know." You then punctuated your sentence with a kiss.

A few months later you were married (yes, married), and a few months after that you were carrying his child. Then there was another child. And another. Soon, you and Daryl had the perfect life, a lovely home, three beautiful children and a dog.

( And a cat that Daryl would always say he hated. "Told ya woman, I ain't a fanna cats." But would later be found snuggled with his three kids on the couch in the living room after dinner with said cat on his chest. )

[mimikyuno]

mizuki crying telling ena that she wants to be the kind of friend you can be with without either feeling guilty, or cautious around. mizuki telling ena she’s scared people will scorn her too for being friends mizuki, saying she would hate to have to check ena’s expression every time someone made a comment. that she’d hate it for ena to walk on eggshells around her, too scared of hurting her feelings, now that she knows. ena screaming that it all doesn’t matter. that yes, she was surprised and learned something new about mizuki, but she hasn’t changed, her feelings haven’t changed. mizuki is mizuki, and she still sees her the same way. ena telling mizuki that yes sometimes she might hurt her inadvertently but she will just have to correct herself, and that is okay because she never wants to hurt her. ena getting angry, screaming that mizuki doesn’t get to just decide for her. that she doesn’t care what other people might say, she doesn’t care about anything, because losing mizuki would hurt her the most. screaming at her that it’s NOT about “deserving” to be by someone’s side. ena still trying anyway to set mizuki free and let her choose for herself, falling to her knees after chasing her. mizuki taking all the courage she can muster and not running away and trusting ena and sinking to the ground holding her hand and allowing ena to see her cry her heart out. no more secrets. no more distance.

[tthoroughfare]

crush (part 2) // abby anderson

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: i owe you a black eye and two kisses. tell me when you wanna come and get 'em. abby finally confronts her feelings in the spur of the moment, then gets scared and runs away. it all works out in the end, though.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: canon!abby x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: nsfw. nothing too crazy just some yearny sesbian lex using hands. light injury description and abby being a horrible communicator

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 2.9k

this is part two of this series! find part one here

i hope you enjoy the second part! i'm so down to write more of this so lmk if anyone wants it

abby keeps it all to herself. she enjoys having you as a friend, and reasons that it’s better not to mess it all up. just because you like her whole entire gender doesn’t mean you like her. plus, she’s not even sure about what she’s feeling. figures that if she actually wasn’t straight, she’d surely have already known by now. but then again, she didn’t know you back then. didn’t feel what she feels around you.

then, one night, you’ve been around at hers, drinking and watching a movie with manny. she’d accidentally overindulged, possibly (definitely) out of nerves. you’d had to drag the chair and beanbag over in front of the TV, you and abby both piling onto the beanbag, chair not big enough to hold the two of you.

there was still barely enough room, and you were pressed up against her. at first, you were awkwardly perched, body rigid; but then, as the film went on and you had a little more to drink, you found yourself sinking into the seat, further into her.

by the end of it, your head is comfortably on her shoulder, laughing and chatting freely — she can smell your hair, feel the heat of your body against her, and she truly thinks she might combust.

once it’s gotten late, you say you’d better be heading back to your own place. abby tipsily insists on walking you back, even though it’s really not necessary. like, at all.

you jovially chat and giggle on the way back through the stadium, and all you can remember thinking is how glad you are that you met her. how rare it is for you to know someone who you feel so connected to, who everything feels so easy with almost instantaneously.

when you get to your door, she lingers around, keeping the conversation going even after you say goodnight — like she wants something from you, wants to say something but can’t. there’s a moment where it drops quiet, and she’s just looking at you. studying your face, maintaining eye contact for probably longer than she ever has. that’s when you realize she’s automatically drifted closer.

and then, liquid courage coursing through her veins and affirmed by you leaning on her earlier, she kisses you.

it’s quick, and you don’t return it. not because you don’t want to, but out of pure shock — never in a million years would you have seen it coming. you’d fully shelved your crush on her, under the impression it was never going to happen.

before you have a real chance to react, she pulls back, cheeks tinged red.

you speak at the same time: her blurting out, "sorry, fuck"; you simply shaking your head a little, stuttering, “a-abby, i…”

a beat passes, you slightly open-mouthed, abby’s hands anxiously fiddling with themselves at her sides. immediately, she’s sober. “fuck, i-i’m sorry. that was stupid.”

“no, abby, it’s just—“ before you can finish your sentence, she mutters something inaudible and turns, beginning to stride off down the hall, feeling like a fucking idiot. of course you didn’t like her, and she’d just drunkenly ruined it all for nothing.

your call of her name, followed by a, ‘wait!’ falls on deaf ears, and she turns the corner, gone. you’re left stunned, frozen outside your door, trying to process what just happened.

you want to go after her, have her allow you to explain yourself, but decide against it. you don’t know if she really meant it, you don’t know what her reasons were for running off; you don’t know what the fuck to do. so, despite every ounce of yourself begging you not to, you simply go inside and try your best to sleep. you can’t, though, mind whirring for hours on end until you finally pass out.

the next morning, you pray you run into her. usually, you always saw her at some point, but it was like she was avoiding everywhere you might be.

you see manny in the canteen later in the day, catching up to him and asking him where she is; he just shrugs, saying that she’d picked up an extra assignment and headed out that morning. might not be back for a day or two.

you can’t help but let out an exasperated sigh, crossing your arms. you knew it was on purpose. all over a kiss. “are you fucking kidding me?”

he gives you a funny look. “you two have a fight or something? she was… quiet when she came back.”

rolling your eyes, you shake your head after a moment. basically the opposite. “no… no, we didn’t.”

“right.” he quirks an eyebrow slightly, taking a breath. “you want me to talk to her when i see her?”

you shake your head vehemently, furrowing your brow. “nah, nah, don’t. just… let me know when she gets back, please?”

he nods once, tapping the side of your arm. “you got it.”

you utter out a thanks, and with that you’re off.

you don’t want to be mad at her, but you are. you don’t know why she’s running away from you, quite literally putting her life on the line just so she doesn’t have to face you. what makes it so much worse is she didn’t even give you a chance. if she’d have just heard you out instead of storming off, there wouldn’t even be an issue in the first place.

the next morning arrives, and abby’s still not back. the whole day, you fight the urge to walk over to her apartment and knock on the door every five minutes. you know manny said a day or two, but you can’t help but anxiously await her return the moment it’s plausible.

you try to keep yourself busy with work, but all your mind does is wander back to her. thinking about what she’s doing, if she’s okay, what you’re going to say to her when she gets back. you replay the kiss over and over in your head, scrutinizing every millisecond of it. what if the reason she freaked out was that she only did it because she was drunk, immediately realized she regretted it, and that’s why she’s avoiding you?

her absence just gives you too much time to worry, conjure up every worst case scenario. by the end of it, you’re essentially convinced she doesn’t like you, that it was a mistake, and now your friendship will never be the same.

finally, around noon the day after, manny collars you in the hallway and lets you know abby’s back. you let out a half relieved, half nervous sigh, nodding and thanking him. you can’t go talk to her right away — you’re too swamped with work, on your way back from the shortest lunch break known to man, but you know the second you’ve called it a day, you’re finding her.

it’s not until almost eight that you finally get to a place where you can break off, leaning back in your chair and running your hands over your face. you pack a few items away hurriedly, heart beating in your chest as you make your way over to abby’s.

it’s not her who answers the door, though — it’s manny. you blow air out of your nose at the fact you’re seeing more of him than her at this point.

“where is she?” you question gently, as if he doesn’t already know what you want.

the corners of his mouth quirk. “guess.”

“library?”

he clicks his tongue in affirmation, and you roll your eyes fondly before telling him you’ll see him later, turning to make your way down there.

standing outside the door, you realize how nervous you are. you’ve wanted nothing more than to see abby since it happened, but now the moment’s here you can’t help but feel hesitant about all the ways the conversation could go.

after a beat of psyching yourself up, you gingerly crack the door open, spotting her on the ottoman before gently wrapping your knuckles as you peer in. “knock, knock.”

she looks up, an unreadable expression on her face.

“can i come in?”

she pauses, sitting up properly and placing her book to the side. “uh… sure.”

you smile gratefully, picking your way in and softly closing the door behind you. you make your way over, taking a seat next to her with your hands folded in your lap, avoiding eye contact. “so…”

you can see her fiddling with the sleeve of her shirt in your peripheral vision. “so…?”

looking up at her, you go to say your rehearsed spiel, then the words get caught in your throat when you notice the injuries littering her face. a couple of gashes are set into her forehead and chin, purple blossoming over her cheekbone.

“what the hell have you done to your face?” it comes out a little more frustrated than the caring tone you intend, but you are frustrated. if she’d have stayed and listened, she wouldn’t have been avoiding you, and in turn wouldn’t have gone off and gotten herself hurt. you pivot your body to face her side, knee bending to rest your left leg sideways.

“it’s not anything.”

you tut, unable to help yourself from reaching out and running your thumb tenderly over the bruising. she pulls away from your touch slightly, to which you shoot her a look. “worse than i ever get.”

“you’re sheltered.”

she says it matter-of-fact, and you know it’s true. you’ve always had it better than her, better than most, never really being required to go into the field. both your parents are still alive, a rarity nowadays, both academics. the last time you were in real danger was simply when you were being moved into the base, going from safe point A to safe point B. 

still, it stings a little.

“yeowch,” you respond as you allow your hand to drop from her skin, only half joking. “there’s no need to be mean, abby.”

she rolls her eyes, still keeping her sight trained firmly ahead. “i’m not being…” she trails off, shaking her head a little and looking down at her hands. she moves to lean forward, forearms resting on her knees.

a pause passes that feels like an eternity, until you finally will yourself to speak. your voice is soft, low. “why did you run off on me the other night?”

she gnaws at her lip, not saying anything for a moment. “can we just forget about that? it was…”

“a mistake, i know. you were… you’d had a few drinks. i know you didn’t mean anything by it.” you finish her sentence for her, and she sighs and shakes her head in annoyance at how wrong you have it.

she swallows thickly in defeat, urging the words to come. she might as well tell you; she’s already basically fucked everything up. what does she have to lose?

“that’s… not it.” her words come out quiet, and she looks at you for the first time since you walked in, hands wringing in her lap.

you automatically shuffle a tiny bit closer, her leg warm against yours. “then what is it?”

“i didn’t… it wasn’t… because i was drunk. it was because i wanted to.” she takes a deep breath, shoulders sinking. “and then… you reacted all… i don’t know. anyway… you don’t see me like that. can we just move on?”

you look at her, mouth opening and closing a little. your brow furrows. “oh my god. are you serious?”

“what?” she replies, a little defensively.

“i reacted like that because i was fucking shocked. as far as i was aware, you didn’t even like girls, never mind me, and then you just kissed me out of nowhere. i didn’t know how to react. and then, you didn’t even give me chance to say anything and just walked off, and then i don’t see you for two days,” you blurt out, floodgates opened.

it’s her turn to be speechless again, looking up at you like a deer in headlights. “so… w-what are you saying?”

you don’t even bother to answer, knowing you can show her tenfold better than you can tell. you pull her up to you, hand resting on her jaw, pressing your lips to hers with a gentle urgency. she freezes for a split second before kissing back, one hand leaning on the ottoman behind you, the other coming up to cup your cheek.

you shift further in subconsciously, right leg going over one of hers and your free arm wrapping around her neck.

“jesus christ, abby,” you mumble against her lips between adoring smooches, “i can’t believe you.”

she breathes out a chuckle. “sorry.”

you have sex for the first time that night. you invite her to stay over, not even having those expectations. you just want to be with her, want to feel close to her, wake up side by side.

but then it drops late, and your lights are on low, having spent the evening conversing on your bed with the tv droning in the background. you’re both on your sides facing each other, propped up by an elbow. and you look so pretty in the dim yellow light, she can’t help herself from leaning in and kissing you, dripping with want.

you end up on top of her, fingertips stroking over either side of her face, hers pressing into your hips. all you can hear is your own pulse banging in your head, the labored, rapid breaths the two of you let out into each other’s mouths.

you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anything this much. you can feel yourself soaking your underwear, and nothing’s even happened.

abby swallows thickly, pulling back for a moment, knowing where this is all going. “you know i’ve never…” she trails off, implicating the last few words, voice husked with arousal.

you pause to look at her, lidded eyes dragging over her face, a slightly amused smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

“i know,” you respond, leaning back in to mouth at the corner of hers, before kissing down to her jaw. you continue to speak against her skin, voice low. “you’ll figure it out.”

and she sure does.

you make love to each other. it’s all slow, and testing, but wanting and desperate. a lot of abby asking every two minutes if what she’s doing feels good, you guiding her and showing her how you like it. when you first flip her on top of you, tenderly taking her hair out from its braid and running your fingers through it, leading her hand under your waistband and showing her how wet you’ve gotten for her, she truly doesn’t know how the fuck she was ever, ever uncertain about her feelings.

you take your shirt off, baring yourself to her, then hers, needing to feel your skin flush against one another. her hands automatically move to make quick work of the lower half of your clothing, gaining confidence. and then you’re naked, spread out underneath her, all flushed and open mouthed, hips shifting into hers desperately — and it’s just like something takes over her.

she kisses over your chest languidly, exploring, needing to taste your skin. you gently take her wrist, moving her hand back between your legs, and your head falls back when she runs a finger through your folds. it’s a little clumsy, a little anxious, but abby’s a quick learner. she finds a rhythm, circling your clit as her mouth attaches to your nipple.

“abby, fuck…” you moan shakily, one hand tightening around her wrist, keeping her where it feels good, the other gripping lightly at her hair.

“is that okay?” she asks. she’s looking up at you reverently, desperate to impress, and the sight sends even more heat pooling in your lower belly.

you nod hungrily and your hand moves from her wrist to her waistband, voice coming out a lot more needy than you intend. “take these off.”

she obeys you without a word, and your free hand immediately goes to touch her, spreading her apart and toying with her clit, reveling in the noises it draws.

you make each other cum like that, touching each other at the same time, all needy and yearning. you’re first, abby’s nerves getting the best of her, you unable to help yourself. it all builds and builds until it hits you hard, breathy, high pitched moans and whines of her name tumbling out against her shoulder. hearing you, seeing you like that sends her absolutely reeling, and it’s not long until she’s there too. you pull her face level to yours with your free hand, threading your fingers through her hair, needing to look at her as she cums.

she looks so pretty, eyes screwed shut and brows drawn, parted lips rosy as she pants her way through her orgasm, unable to help the string of mmphs and low, strangled moans that escape her.

you work her through it, slowing your movements gradually, stroking at her face as she comes down. it’s quiet for a moment, just the sounds of the forgotten movie across the room and both of you attempting to regain your breathing.

“okay?” you ask, voice barely a whisper.

she nods, eyes still closed, tongue darting out to wet her lips. then, her mouth twitches, corners forming a small smile. “yeah. fuck.”

you mirror her, a tiny smile of your own tugging at your lips. “good.”

kissing her nose lightly, you shift your hand away from her pussy and pop your messy fingers in your mouth, cleaning her off you, relishing in her taste.

she watches through hazy eyes, committing the sight to memory.

yeah. she’s never looking back.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Falling asleep on Konig's shoulder

(Very self-indulgent because I'm literally on a night train from Vienna rn) Getting the last ticket to the table section of the train - you thought you could have a quick snack, maybe drink some water or get a coffee from a friendly train worker. Get your laptop out and use the free space next to you to work a little bit. You weren't as lucky, of course - with the train being late and with a huge guy sitting on the seat next to you. Probably reserved in time, unlike you. Probably didn't struggle with staying awake as much as you did. You honestly wanted to work. Be productive, get on that grind and growth mindset, and provide value to the company even on the late-night train. The moment you showed your tickets, however, everything went out the window. You're not sure you even managed to put your laptop back in your bag when you went out, your head dropping forward as you indulged in a feverish, groggy nap. Konig saw how tired you were - he felt awkward even sitting next to you, thinking about giving up his place and offering it to you, so you could rest your legs and don't look like a shrimp in your seat. He didn't even care that he did pay for his reservation - he almost thought about, maybe, scaring away some dumb fucks from the other seat, making sure you get a place to rest. But, oh, Konig is a selfish man. Anxious in his desire to get you all to himself, even if he doesn't know your name. It all can come later- when he'd get you a coffee from the train restaurant or drive you home if he'd get lucky enough to get off at the same station as you. Your head drops on his shoulder - he never felt something as soft as you, pressing to his skin. Your full body weight is setting down on his shoulder, and Konig already feels like he won't be able to survive without having you next to him, hugging him, smiling at him. Nuzzling your face in his chest and letting him give you the world simply because you fucking deserve this. Deserve him, so close to you - fucking god, he can't wait to have you all to himself and... Ah, fuck. There is a pretty girl sleeping on his shoulder during a train ride, and Konig just got a raging boner. He fucking hates himself sometimes - getting too excited, never having enough. Wanting to take your body in his lap and force his cock in your inviting pussy. You'd look so cute, all sleepy and drowsy on his dick - maybe you'd even cry a little, making it all the cuter. Maybe, if he is lucky, you'd be just exhausted enough to follow him to his place. Did he make his bed when he went on the mission? Fuck, it was almost two weeks out of his place, it probably looks like shit. Smells like shit, certainly. He can't bring a girl in this place, he has to get a hotel, maybe a fancy one, with a pool, but then you would think he is doing hookups or is cheating on his wife or lives with his parents or- You snuggle closer to his shoulder, searching for warmth, and he almost feels like cumming in his pants. Shit, he can't help himself, can he? Can't even muster the courage to ask you for your number. Maybe when you wake up, so he could just...ah, but he kind of likes being your pillow. Can imagine himself in the same position ten years from now. Let's just say, when you do wake up - with your phone and your laptop safely tucked away in your bag - you won't exactly be going home. Konig does want to know you a bit more, after all.

[1nthedarknessofthenight]

﴾ rush

pairing: inexperienced!lee felix x f!reader

genre: one-shot, university au, smut

word count: 14K

warnings: virgin!felix ⋆ fratboy!felix & cheerleader!reader ⋆ sub!felix & dom!reader ⋆ alcohol use⋆ loss of virginity ⋆ small somnophilia!⋆ marking! ⋆ pillow humping! ⋆ dry humping! ⋆ felix is a complete loser and a mess ⋆ oral (m.receiving) ⋆ fingering (f.receiving) ⋆ unprotected!sex ⋆ creampie!

summary: he yearns for you, for a simple glance or a whiff of your addictive smell, he dreams of you, because in his mind that is the only way he thought he could have you, you were just a fantasy, but to you he was just someone who needed to be shown the powerful world of pleasure

author’s note: literally couldn’t function bcs of the ticket sale to the tour, so a little delay…but see you guys in Frankfurt in pit one!

request by @lixies-favorite-cookie

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Everything swirled around him, his mind completely hazy from the liquid inside his red, plastic cup. He tried to look collected, but he knew he definitely didn’t look any better than his friends. His mouth was dry, tongue going over his lips and almost cringing at the lingering taste of alcohol. He blames his friends for handing him the cup filled with liquid gasoline, but in truth he mostly blames himself…or maybe you — mostly you.

He just couldn’t handle being in the same room as you and even if you were in a different room —he still could feel you, smell you...When he saw the cup being handled to him, an idea popped in his head — a terrible one at that. It should have made him feel better, swallowing another and then an another cup however still didn’t help him find the main thing he did it for. He tried to find the courage — to talk to you, at least look at you, but he didn’t even had the power to do that. He has seen you swiftly when you walked into the party. Still in your cheerleader outfit, hair curled and styled to frame your features. He was so quickly starstruck, anxiety rising in his chest and he really almost ran back to his room. You were everything to him.

Now — sitting across from you, he just can’t help, but steal a few looks at you for the first time since you came to their house. He finally found the power to at least look at you, but only because you were talking to his friend, sitting right next to him. He doesn’t want to wear this sad, miserable expression on his face, seeing you talk to his friend instead of him. The only way thing that helped him silence his insecure thoughts is in fact you once again as he looks you over. You look even more beautiful than before — face a little flushed, soft hair sticking to your skin. You were sitting on your knees, thighs smushed together and glistening and he swears he can taste your body lotion at the tip of his tongue.

He stayed quiet for the whole party, while you on the other hand were loud, too loud, he wouldn’t be able to get away from your voice even if he tried. He had never held this much of an attraction for someone before. It made him jumpy, fidgety and he knew that maybe it is mostly because that he had…never got a taste of someone else’s touch before. However he doesn’t want someone — he only wants you.

Hyunjin, his friend who finally stops talking to you, notices his change of behavior way too quickly. The moment the conversation ended, his eyes went to him, while yours thankfully traveled somewhere else. Still he did look away from you, scared that you would catch him staring, but some part of him wants you to see him. He wonders — what if he would look at you more? More longer, would he see you looking back at him? In his mind he knew that he probably didn’t even exists in yours.

His friend wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his body lean body. It makes him choke a little, startled by being pulled from his thoughts so suddenly. He lets his friend shake him in his hold even, but when he looked up to his face, he immediately feels his own fall. He was wearing a very big smile that made his own flush. In his glistening eyes was his answer to his question that the wished wasn’t answered at all. His attention immediately goes back to the cup in his hands, swirling around the liquid and seeing a small reflection of his red face in the alcohol males him sigh softly to himself.

His eyes fly over the room, trying to fight against the heat that makes him tug at the collar of his t-shirt. He hopes that you didn’t see anything, but how could he tell if he wasn’t looking at you again? The music pumping in the background did a little to silence his loud thoughts. He wants to glance back at you, trail his eyes down your body again and then maybe even look into your eyes. He is fighting against his own emotions. He can’t risk to reveal himself, reveal this stupid crush he has on you. It’s so childish — he is an adult, yet so behind everything. He wishes to act upon his emotions, to find the courage to walk up to you and finally say something to you. He hates that his friends get along with you so well and that there wasn’t even a single time that you would spoke to him. Maybe you are waiting for him to do that, maybe you don’t — maybe you don’t even know he exists.

Felix is slowly going crazy over you. He is drunk from a simple glance at you, from a small whiff of your perfume. You are so kind, but also witty and so fucking hot. He can’t lie that at first his thoughts about you were nothing, but filth, when he saw you practicing in that short skirt, the same one you are wearing now. Naturally his desire won over and he thinks he didn’t thought of anyone else since that day. It hurt so bad to be so far away from you, but still so close for him to see the true distance between you two. He could just lean closer, like his friends who on the other hand were confident in themselves to talk to someone like you.

Suddenly there is this big clink!, the sound making him jump a little in his seat. His eyes fall on to one of your friend’s hand, long nails clicking on a glass bottle that sits in the middle of the made up circle. He swallows nervously, hoping that he isn’t right about what he is seeing right now. However his fears come true when Changbin leans a little bit into the circle so all the attention is on him. “Wanna play something?” He says it casually, but Felix is already shaking from the thought of playing something in front of you and possibly making fool of himself.

A small scoff is heard in the corner, the dark haired man pulling his on bottle of beer away from his lips to say his opinion. “What — are we twelve?” Raising his prominent eyebrows, Seungmin leans back into your friend whose blush is even more visible than his at the moment. He silently wonders if you would ever let him do that…

“You sure act like it.” Pips up Minho, small dry laugh falling from his lips, while the other sends him a small look.

Smacking her lips, your friend Daniela shrugs softly, blowing her blonde hair away from her face. “I mean, depends on what it is–“ The others nod in unison, while Felix’s brown eyes flicker to the empty space next to you, but in his field of vision he doesn’t see you move even an inch, not giving any answer.

“Truth or dare?” Felix’s visibly gulps at the request.

“Too cliche–“ Clicks his tongue his blond friend, narrowing his fox like eyes.

“Okay…” Changbin trails off, putting his hands up. His face scrunches up for a second, eyes looking into space, before everyone sees an invisible light bulb blink over his head. “Seven minutes in heaven?” He requests, snapping his fingers at his own idea.

“Damn, you made that up all by yourself, big guy?”

Felix doesn’t even hear the loud bickering between his two friends, too caught up in the idea of playing such game. His throat becomes dry, swallowing painfully from the nerves and the thought of being locked up in some closet with someone. His mind goes naturally back to you and of course you are the only person he could think of playing this game with, but mostly he wanted to dissolve. He thinks he wouldn’t be able to play the game with anyone from this room. His stomach rumbles when, he hears you shuffling and without any self control he looks at you.

He watches you pull your hair over your shoulder, pinkish lips pressing together to blend your lipstick that is more of a stain than anything. He has to stare at you like this — with big eyes filled with wonder, but looking immediately away when your attention just briefly turns to somewhere near him. “We can play.” You say, your tone of voice strong enough to stop the playful fighting between his friends. His fingers twitch around the red plastic cup, crumpling it slightly at your words.

Would it be bad if he would literally just disappear right now? Maybe running away to lock himself up in his room, while wondering who will be lucky enough to taste your lips and touch your skin. No, he doesn’t want that to happen. Staying here meant so many possibilities, though he can’t decide if it’s worst than running away from this situation. His curiosity wins and he quickly drowns the last bits of alcohol left in the cup, one small streak of liquid rolling down is neck. He quickly goes to wipe it off, eyes going around the room, but they only stop at you again.

His body is set on fire, skin blossoming from the heat of your stare. He wants to look around again if he is just imagining what he is seeing, but when his fingers swipe across his damp skin, your stare follows that movement. The thought of you maybe zoning out is thrown over his head, because then your eyes trail higher up his long neck. Glaring at his bobbing Adam’s apple, your eyes go to his chin, bow lips and then to the freckles covering his nose, but before your droopy eyes can meet his, he evert his gaze to the shining glass bottle in the center of the small circle.

His heart beats faster, ears ringing. Felix can’t be imagining it, because it still feels like you are looking at him. In the background he overhears your name being said and he at the moment realizes that you were already picked to go first. Being so bewitched by you, he didn’t even notice that the game already started and that the bottle spinning is meant to pick the person who will be lucky enough to go with you. He is screaming inside — from your unmoving stare that drilled holes into his skull to the thought of someone going into the small closet with you. They would surely be pressing against you, they would feel your rising chest against theirs, your hot breath mixing with theirs, before your luscious lips would fall to theirs — pecking, bitting, running your tongue across their own, teeth clinking against each other…

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed, his short hairs at the back of his neck sticking to his sweaty skin, when the bottle slows down. He is counting how many times it will spin, before it will fully stop and while the bottle kept going slower his heart went faster. He doesn’t even care if anyone sees his heaving chest or his flushed face because his whole world depends on the spinning glass bottle that comes to a stop…right between him and Hyunjin. “Ah! I think it’s Hyunjin!” Exclaims Han, while he feels his heart drop to his stomach and he has to fight the anger rising in him.

However before he can make a scene and run back to his room, because he couldn’t stomach the thought of seeing you and his friend going hand in hand away from him, your voice again cuts through the room. “No.“ Your calm behavior and strong tone of voice makes everyone turn their attention to you again and when he hears your next words he sees pure darkness for a moment. “It’s Felix from my point of view.”

Felix’s nearly blacks out, eyes wide and moving to your lips. The sound of his name falling from your mouth echoes in his mind and at that he finally realizes what you just said. Everyone is quiet, not that he would hear anything else other than his own heart beat. The cup in his hand falls to the floor, when he sees you rise to your feet. He looks like a fish trying to catch its breath, face paling for a second at the way you stand before him. If he would lean forward he could smash his face into your pubic bone. He immediately feels his cheeks turning red from his own lewd thoughts.

You exchange your arm, wiggling your fingers at him, flashing your sparkly, blue nails — his favorite color. You are arguing him to take your hand, while he still sits there like an idiot with his lips parted. His lips on yours…his bottom lip is already tingling at the possibility. He is shoved forward by Hyunjin, landing on his hands before he could fall onto you. Not that he would mind, but his heart can only take so much. The smell of your body lotion mixed with your natural scent overpowers all of his senses and he has to fight back a shiver when he carefully puts his hand onto yours.

He is shaking from the fact that you know his name and mostly because from the fact he might get to feel your lips on his. Your skin is soft, fingers longer than his, but his own hand is just slightly larger than yours. He releases a shaky breath, closing his eyes in embarrassment when his and even your friends cheer teasingly. He is trying so hard to make himself look smaller, but he knows that he would hate himself even more if he would part away from you right now.

You are leading him into the small closet, good distance away from your friends, enough to give you two some privacy. He is going to be alone with you…him — his hand squeezes yours accidentally, but you don’t seem to notice his overall weird behavior. His eyes are plastered at the back of your head, before they go back to your joined hands. His inexperience — well, that’s the excuse he tells himself to justify his behavior, takes his mind go back to the many nights he spend fisting his cock to the thought of you. With the same hand…the same hand you are now holding. Felix feels pure fire in his lower abdomen, because he knows that he will not wash his hand till it is coated with his cum.

He wonders if you have any idea about his creepy and filthy thoughts, because you literally pull him out of them, when you shove him into the closet. He barely catches himself, eyes widening when he hears a small click coming from the door lock. When he straightened his back, turning around, he is immediately alarmed at the close proximity. You are leaning onto the door, but he still feels the air shift with your every small move. He can’t run now, you are preventing him from doing so and even so, he is literally frozen in his spot from the heavy silence in the small space.

The small light over his head gives minimal light, though enough to see your naked legs. Felix gulps, hanging his head low, but his long hair still couldn’t help him disappear. Why though? He actually never been so happy, yet so scared at the same time. Your nature is making him all fidgety, a mess to be precise and it is you again who breaks the silence. “Do I scare you?” You ask, voice low, but clear.

He frowns a little at your question. He hopes that he’s not making you uncomfortable with his actions, but his main concern right now is finding his voice again. “N-no, of course not.” He coughs a little, clearing his throat. You do scare him a little, but just not in the way you think. Felix can’t believe that is the first thing he ever said to you — no, he knows that it is all, but that.

He heard your earrings jingle, titling your head to the side to see his face better. “Then why won’t you look at me?” He is quiet again, because he can’t just tell you the truth. He knows he will crumble at your feet if he would look at you right now. You still sound calm, not angered or annoyed by him thankfully. You uncross your arms then, his eyes falling momentarily to your cleavage. Your crop top is dangerously low, the tops of your soft breast spilling over the hem and he has to avert his gaze somewhere else. He knows that if he would linger, the arousal in him would only grow. He stopped breathing to not breathe you in, panicking when you take a small step closer to him. “Ever done this before?” You ask him, voice breathy and so delicious.

“No…I mean this — yeah I have n-never played seven minutes in heaven before–“ Felix stumbles over his words, digging his own grave by responding like that. He could have just said no, but he is slowly loosing control over his body.

His back digs into the shelf behind him, trying to escape from his own thoughts, when you lean even closer to him. You have to be playing with him or maybe he is just that easy to shaken up. You are just talking to him, but that alone makes him tremble. “You know the rules, right?” You sound so calm and confident, it makes him even more embarrassed. He is literally acting like a total loser before you — God, he can’t even look at you.

He wonders how much time has passed by, because it’s getting suffocating in the closet. His eyes travel to your legs that again take a step closer to him and he at that nearly falls backwards, hitting his head a little into one of the boxes on the shelf. “I-I, yeah…it’s just–“ Of course he knows the ‘rules’, he just doesn’t know if he can handle anything else than this. He already held your hand, that alone was enough for him for a single day. You know his name, that also is making him all giddy inside.

You must have notice his change of behavior, because you stay put in your place for a moment. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, but it’s a pity…” He eyes peak at you from behind his long hair, catching your lips forming into a small, cute pout. Every time he looks at you, he can’t look away no more that’s maybe why he is so against glancing at you. Though it’s all he wanted, this. His insecurities are taking over him so much.

“Why would you say that?” Felix says, his voice surprisingly steady. Curiosity fills him, eyes flicking quickly over you to stop and stare at your lips again.

You smile and he on the other hand gulps nervously, watching you closely. “You’re cute, I like your hair — it’s so long and thick–“ He gasps when you breathe over his parted lips, eyes widening when you twirl a piece of his hair around your finger. Your words and actions leave him speechless, shock plastered over his face.

“W-what?” His skin is on fire, breathing becoming shakier and heavier from the way your tone of voice drops in octave. In his state of shock he is left looking at you like a deer caught in headlights, completely taken back by your words. He has to be hallucinating, that’s the only explanation…but you prove him so wrong.

Air gets stuck in the back of his throat? when you lean closer to him, your lips so close to his cheekbone. “You are blushing…” His eyes screw shut, but they open again as your lips trail lightly over his hot skin. His heart is hammering against his chest and he can’t no longer control his breathing, when he feels you press your soft lips on his cheek. “Am I the cause?” Your teasing is making him mad. He doesn’t even have to answer, because you both already know.

His own lips are parted, gasping when you don’t stop at one simple peck. Felix wonders if you are doing this only because of the game, but he doesn’t care that much about that right now, when he has you kissing his face. Your pecks are slow, wet, mouth slightly open like you would swallow him at any moment. His hands form into fists, head rolling to the side, but your lips only follow him. He can’t escape your open mouth that kisses his cheeks, lips tingling at the thought of yours touching his instead.

Felix doesn’t know what to do with himself. He had never felt anything like this before, he is becoming so drunk just from these simple touches. No one ever kissed him with such hunger while being also so discrete. He lets you mouth at his skin, your lips traveling to his jaw next and your kisses only grow in intensity. They are harder, less precise. The smacks are making him hazy, shivering from the trail of saliva you leave behind, cold air making the spots tingle. Nails dig into the palms of his hands, when he feels you stop at his bare neck.

With being so close to each other you also get a whiff of his citrusy cologne. Sighing against him it makes him gasp sharply and you just know he is blushing furiously. He can feel your lips forming into a smirk, before they open again to press against him. You pull the thin skin of his neck into your hot mouth, teeth piercing him lightly just to suck harshly right after. “Oh my god — holy shit!” Felix’s voice is lower than ever, whining pathetically from your move. The noise makes his throat vibrate, sighing through your nose, before licking over the small spot you made.

Felix is sweating, shaking uncontrollably from the pleasure you give him and for once he goes to look at you without any hesitation. Your eyes are glistening, lips puffy and coated with spit. His eyes linger there, breathing deeply, before he almost chokes, when the door to the closet rattles. “Times up!” He doesn’t even know whose voice it was, already timidly putting himself back into his spot, while you don’t even flinch from the loud sound.

You are still looking at him and he at that sees how your own breathing is not much better than his. He watches you back away from him, longing stare piercing him. They are no words said, only looks being exchanged as you go to open the door to the closet. The loud noise coming from the living room, makes him snap back to the awful reality. You turn away from him, just as his hand goes to the tender spot at his neck. Pressing his fingers into it, his cheeks are bright red from the memory of your mouth on him. His own smile is however quickly wiped off his face, when he sees Minho staring at him from the doorway, a big knowing smirk on his face.

Felix frowns a little, tugging his head into his chest and almost sprinting out of the closet to catch up with you. He thought that he would maybe escape the teasing remarks, but it only became worst when he walks into the living room. Everyone instantly turns to him, pointing and giggling like a bunch of middle schoolers, but he can’t do anything other than hide behind his blonde hair.

“He’s so red!”

“Got your cherry popped, Felix?”

A loud laughs fill the room, with a series off giggles filling the room right after. He stands there mortified, eyes going over to you and he finds you already looking at him. He wants to crawl into a hole and never come back. His friends didn’t mean no harm…but saying that he’s a virgin right in front of you is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to him. He can’t even say anything, because how he acted back in the closet already told you enough.

“I think it’s hot.” Felix’s stare is unmoving from yours, his friends’ teasing dying down a little from your words. “I find it hot, when a guy is a virgin.” Your tongue that was once going over his skin rolls around the one word, emphasizing it. Felix’s skin blossoms from your sentence, already forgetting about his embarrassment, simply from your words and the look in your eyes. He stands there, trying to catch his breath, still blushing and touching the growing red spot on his delicate neck.

────

The game went on for a little while after that, the whole night filled with drunken chatter and laughter. Felix didn’t touch any alcohol anymore, but he definitely needed it every time you would speak up or look at him. He wasn’t so shy with his glances anymore, maybe because he wanted to see if you were behaving differently than before. You didn’t, he doesn’t want to know if the whole interaction back in the closet maybe was just something not too special to you. It definitely was to him — you gave him his first hickey and the fact you now know that he is a virgin didn’t help him think positively. You didn’t seem repulsed, but maybe you were just being nice, maybe your compliments and your lingering stare didn’t mean that much.

When his own friends came out of the closet, looking even more of a mess than him, he wondered if it truly is just like that…without a meaning. Though he never seen you with someone, but maybe you are just private about your romantic life. Felix’s feelings for you didn’t weaver, they only grew as he still can feel your lips on his burning skin. He was quiet, just like before, but know it was highly known why — who was the cause. His friends thankfully didn’t say anything further to embarrass him and after few hours the chatter and the laughter grew quieter, till he was met with his and yours friends closing their eyes in exhaustion.

Felix went back to the closet, just to bring some of the blankets left in there to cover his sleeping friends, but he still lingered there. It was like he could still smell your perfume, taste the puffy air you two created. He fought back a shiver, stumbling in the darkness as he went back to the living room where he layed the blankets over the sleeping bodies. His eyes went to his friend, Chris, his arm wrapped around your friend who snuggled into his side. Felix can’t help, but wonder, what it must feel like to sleep next to someone like that.

Because of the darkness in the room and television playing in the background, he doesn’t hear the footsteps behind him, but he does feel a breath fanning over the back of his neck. “Huh, no room left for me?” Felix can’t help, but jump at your sudden appearance, turning swiftly around.

He didn’t even realize you went somewhere and he wonders for how long have you been watching him. There is small frown on his features, eyes going back to your sleeping friends and back to you. “You will be staying?” It is a stupid question, but the thought of you staying here under the same roof as him is making him shake. In fear or excitement — he doesn’t know yet.

“Yeah, I mean I don’t want to be the only one to go back to our place…” You trail off, glimmering eyes going over the length of his body. “You have a roomate?” His frown only deepens, confusion striking him from your question. You hide your smile behind your hair, before continuing. “I mean if you have your own bedroom–“

His eyebrows hit his hairline, stumbling just a little backwards by your sentence. “Y-yeah…” Felix is left swallowing another rock down his dry throat, eyes wide and staring at you.

He watches you nod slowly and he thinks you are purposely taking long time to answer. He drinks in your smile and the way you swing cutely on your feet. You have to be playing with him, teasing him or maybe it’s just in your nature — maybe he is down bad. His heart certainly skips several beats, when you finally say why exactly you were asking such interesting questions. “Mind if I crash over?” It rolls off your tongue so smoothly, he has to do a double take.

Felix is on the edge of blacking out from the way you keep playing with his heart. The spot he still has to see and admire in the mirror tickles. He is so shocked by your small question, he stays put in his spot, staring at you like an idiot. You only raise an eyebrow at him and you definitely must notice the growing blush on the apples of his cheeks. He panics just a little more when you slowly turn around to face the staircase. “Wait!” He doesn’t know if you are already making your way to his bedroom or something, but he definitely doesn’t like seeing you walk away from him. The blond has to cringe a little from his loud voice, but he is still looking at you, watching you turn your head to him with one hand already on the railing. “You want to sleep…”

“Together.” You finish for him and he hates his mind at the moment. The world together feels so good that it makes shivers go down his spine, not to mention how he visible releases a shaky sigh. “If you don’t mind–“ You continue, but you seem to be really sure that he won’t mind it at all. You are right. Shaking his head, Felix cringes again from how quickly he answered you, but you only flash him one of your sweet smiles in return. “Okay, then lead the way, pretty boy.”

Thankfully you had turned around the moment he literally choked, pressing his hand over his throat. He follows you so fast, it’s comical. He tries to keep his eyes on the stairs, on the wall, everywhere else, but the back of your exposed thighs. However how could he not take advantage of such an opportunity? Your slightly swaying hips are right before him, the soft skin of your thighs calling to him to just lean in and bite down. Your skirt is short from this angle, it reaches just below the swell of your ass and he does hold himself back from slowing down on the stairs, because that would be one of the most creepiest things ever. He has to sigh through his nose, as he is not strong enough to fight the argue to tilt his head in hopes he could see your underwear.

The moment you reach the top of the stairs he almost falls on top of you, waking himself up from the trance you had him in. He thinks you gestured for him to lead the way, but he is already flying past you, hoping you don’t see his face. His heart beats even faster when he reaches his bedroom, silently going over the things he left in his room. He doesn’t need you to find something inappropriate. Thankfully you can’t read minds, because you would surely find something interesting things up there.

“Sorry — it’s a mess.” He scrambles inside, flicking on his bedside lamp and grabbing some of his things just to throw them in the corner of the room. He is dying inside, still not turning around to look at you as you are definitely judging his room. “The bathroom is right over there–“ He points behind him to the direction of the slightly open door.

In his small state of panic he doesn’t hear the lock clicking on his door, but he definitely sees you, because you suddenly appear right before him. “I’m actually really tired, I will shower in the morning–“ Felix nods, watching you turn to the side to stretch your limbs. He is drooling over your exposed stomach, mouth apart from the sigh of bliss falling from your lips.

“Sure…” He doesn’t even hear himself answer as his eyes are still stuck on your body, watching you bend slightly over to pick something up from the floor.

He is so mesmerized by the way your ass looks in your skirt, so he doesn’t immediately notice the piece of clothing in your hand. “Can I have this? I don’t want to sleep in this.” You tug at the bottom of your skirt, making his eyes flicker to that direction till they go to his hoodie in your hands.

Felix almost huffs, because you won’t be sleeping in your uniform, but then he starts to shake in excitement, because realizes that you are literally asking him if it’s alright to sleep in something his. “Yeah…” He humms lowly. He almost wants to give you a different hoodie, because he’s not sure how long has it been since he wash this one, but something tickles his brain. His own natural scent will be laced with yours…

Your eyes go over him, laughing shortly and he has to wonder why exactly. He doesn’t take it to his heart, it sounded mostly…innocent. Felix straightened his back and he soon notices his shaking hands. “I will…go take a shower.” You are already too caught up in the piece of clothing in your hands, looking at it from all different angles. You only hum in acknowledgment and he silently prays that there are not any stains on the hoodie. Not that he would care — the most important thing is that you will be wearing it, when he will return from the bathroom. Nothing else, just his hoodie — wearing his scent…

He basically runs to the bathroom, shutting the door a little too harshly behind him, before he rips his clothes off. His breathing is heavy, finally taking in the so needed oxygen back into his lungs, before he leans over the tub to put the water at the lowest possible temperature to clear his thoughts. Everything is happening so fast for him, too much for him to handle. From being put in that damn closet with you, to feeling your lips on him — kissing, licking and biting. He still remembers the wave of heat washing over him, when your teeth nibbled on his neck. Even as he open his eyes to stare at the tiles of his bathroom, he still sees you. Your lips pulling into a smile, the skin of your exposed thighs and your eyes — he sighs out from the memory of your glossy eyes.

He shivers instantly when the cold water hits his hot skin, biting his lip to not make any sound. It’s already torture for him as it is. You are so close to him, just a wall away from where he stands naked and thinking of you. He has to shut his eyes from the coldness, aiming the shower head to his spasming stomach. It contracts and he can’t fight the low groan, when droplets of cold water roll down his body. His hand moves naturally over his figure, washing himself, but it stops at the short hairs on his pubic bone. His eyes open, traveling down the length of his torso, before they stop at his twitching cock. It hangs heavy between his lean thighs and he has to run a hand through his hair to tug at the roots, so he wouldn’t wrap his hand around himself.

He is going crazy. The fact you are literally in his room, probably already wearing his oversized hoodie and maybe nothing else is simply too much for him. You will soon be laying on his bed where he spend hours fantasizing about you — biting into the pillow he will give you to sleep on, the one he dry humped like the desperate virgin he is. Everything is too much for him and unwillingly his hand falls to his stomach again. His fingers dance across his hard muscles, no one else but you on his mind as his hand falls to his half hard cock, squeezing immediately at the base. His eyes screw shut for a second, mouth falling open in a silent moan, relief washing over him, but he soon realizes how wrong this is.

His hand is replaced by the shower head, cold water sliding across his aching tip and he has to hiss quietly, biting his lip at the sensation. It doesn’t help him immediately, humping basically thin air in hopes he would cum quickly. He knows he won’t be able to control his body nor his mind, but his cock does soften enough for him to finally wash himself. He wants to stay in the shower forever, but he knows that he will have to come out eventually. He has to see you in his bed, in his clothes — Felix turns the water off. He is wants to sob in frustration because he can’t seem to calm down. It’s your fault…

Drying his body off, he is left in terror, when his eyes fall on his pajamas — the ones in deep blue color with teddy bears on it. He almost bangs his head into a wall, groaning at the thought of you seeing him in something line that. However he still puts them on as there was nothing else to wear, face scrunched up in absolute agony. He doesn’t look at his body, but his eyes catch something in the mirror that makes him freeze.

On his neck, hidden by wet strands of his blonde hair is a red spot. His fingers circle around it, pulling at his slightly tender skin, realizing it is slowly fading. You — you will be the death of him for sure. He can’t escape you. He can’t keep his eyes open, because he will only imagine you before him, he can’t even close them without dreaming about the way your soft lips traveled across his skin. His tongue peaks out of his mouth to lick his dry lips, before his eyes go to the closed door behind him.

It’s dark in his room as he squeezes carefully through the door, like he was trespassing. The lamp he had flicked on is now off, the only light in the room being the Moon that peaks out from behind the curtains. He is thankful that you can’t see him and he is thankful even more when he realizes your front is turned away from him. However he can’t help, but stare. You are already in his bed, under his blanket, hair peaking from behind his pillows. His eyes look over to your back, covered in his hoodie. The blanket over your body is placed in a way that he can still see the sliver of skin of your naked legs.

He doesn’t speak, not even breathes as he nears his bed, but he has to wonder if you are already asleep. He sees your side rising and falling in a frequent flow and he finally finds the courage to lower himself onto his bed. He is so careful…he doesn’t want to wake you up, maybe if he would turn to face the opposite side it would be like you weren’t even there. Though he can feel you, he has to twist his fingers over the blanket, while he shuffles onto his back. The soft duvet falls on him, air fanning over him and he sighs out when he feels the heat coming from your body.

You are so warm, so inviting. His head rolls to the side, hand that is nearest to your laying form twitching to touch you. It’s wrong, but he justifies himself by saying to himself that he needs to warm up his cold body. Maybe it is how sleepy he is getting or maybe it’s the fact you are not aware of his actions, but he is finding the boldness that was hidden inside him. He firstly rolls onto his side, just few centimeters away from you and he at that sighs again. He does that a lot, when it comes to you. He just isn’t bold enough, confident enough to make the first move — but didn’t you already? Or was the game truly just a game? It certainly wasn’t for him.

He jumps a little, when you stir, shuffling back into him. You get so close so fast he can’t do nothing, but gasp quietly as you press your back onto him. His hand still in the air from debating if he should wrap you in embrace freezes. He can’t breathe, every small move of his chest makes him touch your back. His short, rigid breaths blew away the hair over your ears and he soon let’s himself fall. His body slumps, letting his arm fall lightly over your body and he wants nothing more than to laugh in happiness and giddiness — however there was a problem.

With the way he layed back back against you, it made his crotch graze your ass. “Oh…” He is quiet, lips apart from the sheer pleasure the move just gave him. Felix feels his cock twitch in his pajama’s pants and his eyebrows furrow in concentration. He can’t move, he can’t do it again, he can’t, he can’t — his head rolls backwards as his hips jump forward again, till he can feel his cock laying between your cheeks.

His eyes are wide, crazed. The hand holding the blanket over your unmoving body, scrunches up the soft fabric. The cold shower didn’t help, the only thing that could truly help him is cumming. Thinking about you…he doesn’t even need to when he has you right next to him, completely unaware. It’s so wrong that he can’t even move against you smoothly. It’s inexperienced, unsure and he feels nothing, but dirty, yet it sets fire in him. It burns — hurts, but he can’t stop.

His cock is hard, pulsing tip leaking so much precum it seeps through his pants. Being so close to you, he finally notices that you don’t have your skirt on, because his cock is basically dragging between your ass cheeks. He wonders what you look like under the blanket — why didn’t he look under your skirt the time on the stairs? It would for sure help him get to his orgasm faster. His tongue pokes out his mouth, just hungry for a small taste. His hand immediately flew to his neck, fingers going over his fast pulse to the spot at his neck, pressing into it harshly. He can’t let it fade away…

He feels so pathetic and filthy, but something deep inside side of him told him you would like it. You would thrive in how pathetic he looks, humping you, grinding his untouched cock on you. He gasps lightly, hand gripping the blanket so hard he hears it tear. The flush of your ass sits perfectly against him and his bottom lip starts to bleed a little from how hard his teeth pierce his skin. His upper half lays back on the bed, lazily yet desperately rutting against you and then his worst fear comes true just as he feels the first sparkle of his upcoming orgasm.

“Felix?”

“Shit–“ He curses, stilling against you with shaky breaths. Your voice was quiet, but he knew he didn’t imagine it. He is sweating, unmoving, but his lower half is still pressed against your ass. Your voice and the way you stir a little in your spot strikes fear in him, ready to cry, because you definitely caught him in the act.

“You sleeping?” You are whispering, back still facing him and he wants to nothing more than die right now. He still keeps quiet, eyes shutting and pretending. Is that even possible? You can hear feel his heavy breaths and twitching cock sitting against you. “Felix — I know that you are not actually sleeping.” It’s just a dream, that’s what he hopes it is.

For him it feels more like a nightmare. You caught him literally humping you and he never felt so humiliated. Was he that desperate? He can’t believe himself even and he definitely can’t believe when you suddenly roll your ass back into him. “What–“ His mouth open, series of gasps falling from him.

He can’t see your face, but he definitely sees the way you shift in the bed to move closer to him, arching your back. He is speechless, wide eyes staring at the way you start to roll your hips against him. “You need help with that?” He has to fight back the argue to whimper at your moves. It feels so much better than when he was doing it. He is overwhelmed by so many emotions right now, drunk on you and he literally can’t even find his voice at the moment.

“I-I–“

Felix is basically babbling, whine almost falling from him, when you stop moving to roll over to face him. “Talk.” Your voice is strong, piercing his ears and all of his senses. He can see you features subtly, your eyes glossy just the same as back in the closet.

He wants — no, needs it. He needs your touch so bad and he almost chokes from how desperate he is. “Y-yes?”

You don’t waste anymore time, basically jumping at him the moment the word leaves his mouth. You surprise him by pressing him down on the mattress, nails digging into his shoulders. The slight sting makes him whine, hand shooting to cover his lips. You only smile drunkly at him, sighing out a short laugh as you swing your naked legs over him to strandle him. He is shaking, nearly crying in delight seeing you on top of him. He doesn’t touch you, he thinks he doesn’t even deserve it, but your own hands travel down his chest greedily, making goosebumps appear all over his body.

He fights the argue to lift his pelvis and slam his cock into you, mesmerized by your soft figure covered in his hoodie. It hangs over your frame, even for him it was a little big, but he still could see the curve of your waist and your upper thighs. You hover over him, teasing him, hands going over his hard chest, nails scratching him lightly. He swear you have never looked better than this — he wishes for your lips and like you could truly read his mind you slowly lean into him.

Your frame looms over him, caging him and the hand over his mouth is put away by you. Your touches are soft, but behind your eyes is fire he had never seen before. His brown eyes fall to your lips, your tongue running over them to wet them. He can feel your breaths fanning over his face, smelling the cheep sugary alcohol you had. He doesn’t say it, but his lips move, forming and mouthing your name in a silent prayer that you soon fulfill.

Your lips are on his and he melts immediately at the plushness. Your pecks are soft, light even, switching between his upper and bottom lip. Even like this he can’t keep up, he shared kisses only few times before and this is definitely so much different. He is gasping into your mouth, pushing into you harder when your body slightly falls onto him. You tilt your head, pink tongue poking at his bottom lip. Your hair tickles his face as you deepen the kiss, tongue now touching his and it makes his whine yet again, only now it is swallowed by your hungry mouth.

“Oh, fuck — Y/N–“ Felix mumbles into your lips, tongue vibrating around yours, chest heaving wildly. One of your hands trail lower, fingers stopping at his erected nipple. You rip a groan out of him when your nails scratches the nub, deliciously burning sensation only left behind. He didn’t even know he was sensitive there…His blissful state is ripped away from him when you pull away from him, string of saliva connecting your mouths. He immediately chases your lips, startled just a little when you boop his nose.

His eyes open, catching your smile just in time, while he is only able to look at you sheepishly. He watches you — how you bite your lower lip that was seconds ago on his, how your own face is a little flushed. He could feel the hear radiating from you. However your smile slowly disappears as you shuffle lower down his body, hands tugging at the blanket covering him. “W-hat…what are you doing?” His breathing his heavy, sitting up on his elbows, eyes almost rolling back into his skull from the view of your face so close to his covered bulge.

“Is it true?” You ask him, looking up at him intensely. “Nobody ever touched you?” His cheeks are red, but he finds himself shaking his head slowly. It’s somehow embarrassing to admit it before you, but you don’t make fun of him for it nor make him uncomfortable. He is shaking only because of the of unknown. He watches you closely, big doe eyes staring at your hand that plays with the edge of his blanket. “Want me to blow you?”

Felix’s mouth falls open. “Oh! I don’t–“ He finds himself gulping again nervously, fidgeting under you.

“Don’t?”

“No! I mean, yes–“ He closes his eyes for a second, painfully aware of how awkward he is acting. He is fighting against his insecurities, hating how little of experience he has. Though something way stronger is currently taking over him – lust. Felix only opens his mouth when you finally uncover him, revealing the prominent imprint of his aching cock. Your hands are on him immediately, caressing, fingers just barely touching the upper parts of his thighs. “Please…” It comes out as a whine and he mewls silently when he sees the wet spot on his pants.

He is ashamed that he would probably cum all over you while you would be soundly sleeping, but you seem far from angry. Just like in his wild fantasies you are enjoying how desperate and borderline pathetic he is. You are dripping, soaking from the sight of his face — furrowed eyebrows, puffy lips glistening in the soft light just like his big, brown eyes. He looks like a wet dream. Your hands stop sliding over his legs, fisting the waistband of his pajamas pants.

He is so nervous, ready to press a pillow into his face. He still actually thinks that this is all just his imagination when the soft hairs on his pubic bone are revealed. He is thinking, so much — should he have shaved beforehand? But how would he know that you will be under him like this tonight. You do not look at him any different, he actually thinks you look a little more dazed from the sight of his happy trail. He can’t believe he is actually the cause of you looking like this – you are looking desperate as well and your actions definitely show it when you push his pants down in hurry.

Felix makes a small noise, when the cold air hits his leaking, red tip. His head rolls back for a second, when his cock hits his stomach harshly, before traveling his eye back to yours. You are looking at his face to his surprise, watching closely every twitch on his face when your hand trails to grasp him. It feels so different and so good from his own hand. He needs to hear your voice, hear you talk — praise him, degrade him, anything.

His chest keeps rising quicker, breath shuttering when you finally look at his cock. You twist your hand around him, thumb running over one of his veins that are ready to burst at any moment, before it stops at his swollen tip. It’s heavy, veiny, perfectly thick and just the right length – Felix really hides well his filthy cock behind his angel like face. You don’t need to look at it more closely, touching it and feeling it pulsate in your grasp is enough and also why would you look at anything else than his his face when the moon perfectly illuminated his features.

He doesn’t know if he should watch you or not, but he just can’t look away from you when your tongue rolls out of your mouth. He watches spit drip down his cockhead, your thumb smearing the liquid around him. Your grip is too tight for him, already so sensitive from just this erotic sight. A moan, a little louder than he expected falls from him as you lick at him teasingly. The sensation is new – wet and hot…your muscle wraps itself around his tip, before he feels your lips on him.

Felix has to sit up a little more to straighten his back, puffing out his chest from the feeling. His arms shake under his weight, gasping. Your own sound of arousal is muffled by his cock, tongue vibrating around him and the soft and wet skin of the inside of your mouth is just simply amazing. You suck at him, small sound of your throat opening up to him echoing in the room. Your back is arched, ass in the air like you are just imagining his cock drilling into you instead.

Your lips part around him a little, letting your saliva flow out of your mouth. His legs if they wouldn’t be digging into his bed would shake from your delicious mouth. Your spit stops at your fist, pulling him out of your mouth to smear it all over him. He doesn’t even have time to whine in complaint. “You taste so good…you like it?” Your last word is silence as you put your hot mouth back on him.

He is fighting, trying so hard not to close his eyes and just let himself be overpowered by the sheer pleasure. You are taking more of him, swallowing around him repeatedly and breathing heavily through your nose. “Yes…how are you doing that — ohhhh–“ You fight the argue to gag, when you take more of him into your mouth.

You suck harder, hand leaving the base of his cock to press against his hard abdomen to brace yourself. Your eyes are starting to fill with tears, but the soft whines and whimpers falling from him are worth all of your discomfort. They fill up his quiet room, making your panties damp from the all different sounds. The raw, salty taste of him is getting into your head and not to mention the fact you are the first person to see him like this. He is trembling, literally losing his mind over how good you are making him feel. He is not shy about meeting your gaze anymore, because he can’t simply glance away from how you are mouthing at him.

Your other hand that isn’t keeping his lower body at place comes to fondle his heavy balls, making a particular loud, low moan fall from his parted lips. “Shhh, quiet, baby–“ You sush him and even with your warning you don’t make a move of not continuing your moves.

The petname makes his hips trash harshly , hand falling over yours and grasping it in a tight grip. He is shaking his head, on the verge of tears as he feels his lower tummy rumble. “Shit – I’m sorry–“ He is being even louder than before – gasping, moaning wildly and then you feel his cock twitching against your tongue. “I’m so so sorry, fuck!” You think that he tried to pull your head away, maybe not to swallow his hit cum or maybe not to let himself finish so soon, but something about him losing against his own self control drives you mad, not missing a beat.

You are not strong enough to hold him down anymore, letting him use your mouth, rutting the same way he did a few minutes ago against the swell of your ass. His tip hits the back of your throat, choking a cough around him, but you don’t move away when you hear the long whimper and his hot load shooting down your throat. Felix is experiencing euphoria — its everlasting and mind blowing. He hears your moan, feeling you swallow around him and that only heightened the overall experience for him.

Felix falls onto the bed, trying to catch his breath, exhausted beyond point. His head is spinning, hand smearing his dried tears of pleasure all over his face. He is floating for a moment, not too sure where he begins and where he ends, but it surely must be somewhere near you, as he sees your face hovering over his. “You did so good…” He is humming already, watching your lips form into a pout as you push his hair away from his sweaty face. You definitely could tell what is going on in his head, because you immediately place your index finger on his lips. “It’s okay, Lixie.” You resure him, melting his worries a little. “You have never done this before, it’s okay — you did good”

The fact he lasted so shortly isn’t that important to him right now. “C-can I?” He has to clear his throat, licking at his dried lips and running the tip of his tongue over your finger in the process. “Can I…touch you too?” His voice is so low that you visibly shiver from the sound.

You smile at him again, eyes trailing over his flushed face and equally happy expression, though you do watch it fall a little with your next words. “Maybe next time, lover boy. Let’s not get too greedy.” You kiss him then, long yet sweet and he at that realizes how much exhausted he is. You are right — there is still so much time…

────

So much…then why didn’t you call him? In the morning when he woke up, you were the first thing on his mind. Shivering from just the memory of your lips, his hand reaches over to your side of the bed, but you weren’t there. No trace of you, his bed was empty and cold and he felt his heart shattering. You weren’t in his bathroom taking your promised shower, nor you were downstairs. The living room was still a mess, yet no bodies were splayed there. He almost thought he woke up in a mere nightmare, till he heard noises coming from the kitchen.

Minho’s back was facing him, his other two friends turning to look at him with knowing smiles that however soon fell at his sour expression. It was quiet, no one asking him anything, but his best friends could see right through him. After a cold glass of water they told him you left with your friends in the early hours of the morning. Felix shouldn’t feel so sad, but the fact you didn’t even texted him the next day or the other day was telling him something. Maybe he had done something wrong? Maybe you were just pitying him…no, you didn’t seem like the type to this. But what can he know? He only knew you from a far, watching you and wondering what it would feel like to be yours.

Something also was telling him that you were actually not ignoring him. He didn’t see you around, but it was like you were breathing down on his neck. Waiting…maybe you were waiting for him. He hopes you are not. He can’t, even after what happened between you two, face you. He thinks he will only think about you sucking his cock, lips smeared with his release. But that’s not all — there is so much more than the lust and desire he feels for you.

He couldn’t sleep for the past few days, but thankfully it was spring break, so no more torturing himself in school for a while. Though his thoughts were slowing driving him mad. He didn’t even go to the trip him and his friends were so looking forward to, he knew that he would only think about you the whole weak. His friends let him stay behind, leaving him with sad glances and warm hugs. He tried everything not to dream about you, your body, face — but of course he always ended up with his cock in his hand, chasing the pleasure only you can give him.

He has to bite down on his lip, still not being able to enjoy himself fully, even if he was all alone in the house. His cock burns from the way he kept grinding onto his pillow, squeezing it harder around him, till his knuckles turn white. It almost hurts more then it feels good as he was chasing his orgasm what felt like for hours. His thighs spasm, whining in exhaustion as he slumps forward, burying his face into his blanket. His hips shutter when he suddenly smells the light scent of your perfume, nose digging into the blanket. He doesn’t stop fucking into his pillow that sits between his legs, mouth open, biting down at what he wished was your neck.

A ringing sound, muffled by the blanket echoes around his room and when it reaches his senses he has to groan. Felix goes to sit back on his knees, shirt falling down to cover his red chest. He doesn’t even look who is calling him, wiping the drool rolling down his face, mad about being interrupted. “Yes?” His breathing is shallow, voice rough and deep, while his eyes fall down to his irritated cock.

“Hi, Felix.”

Your sweet voice fills his ears, tugging at his heart. He immediately feels himself twitching, eyes closing for a second. “Y/N…” He doesn’t even care how he sounds, how painfully obvious it must be from his shaky breaths. He thinks firstly that he is again imagining this, pulling his phone from his ear to look at the unknown number. Did you asked for his number?

“Wanna come over to our place?” You ask sweetly and the question hangs heavy in the air for a second as he looks down at his cock.

“I don’t know…”

He hears you click your tongue, the sound making him remember how you swirl the muscle over him. “Don’t sound so sad…wanna talk to you.” You are cooing at him, but those last words were said with a very different tone. It makes shivers run down his spine. “Nobody’s home.” Your whisper sends him almost over the edge from how seductive you sounded. Looking down at his leaking cock, he has to sigh at how much your offer made him feel so much better already.

So now — he finds himself sitting on your bed, eyes plastered onto your small tv at the corner of your bedroom. The movie you picked is just a background noise, too caught up in your decor, eyes trailing over each detail like it would be last time he would see it. Maybe it is…he looks at your profile from the corner of his eyes, silently judging. Your behavior was the same as always when you opened the door for him. Cheery, smiley, while hiding something behind your eyes. You didn’t touch him to his displeasure, not even a small hug or a kiss. It is reminder that he isn’t yours and you aren’t his. It makes him sick.

Your covered legs are touching his, upper body cuddled into the corner of your bed. You look pretty — like always, but today you choose to be in just sweatpants and a tank top to his delight. Your face is bare, soft looking from his spot. Your bed is comfortable enough to make feel better, to find strength to ask you the question that keeps bugging him. “You didn’t call me.” It flies out his lips rather smoothly, voice loud enough to make you slowly turn your head to him. “…after that night — why?” His heart jumps when his eyes meet yours and he thinks he sees a small regret in them.

“I did…otherwise you wouldn’t be here, would you?” Your smart remark isn’t helping him at the moment, frustrated by how calm you seem. But then he watches your brows furrow, looking him up and down, before staring back at the frown on his face. “Lixie, I hope you don’t think I ghosted you…” Your small question isn’t answered and you genuinely look full of regret. Your bottom lip is pronounced, sitting up on your knees to look a him more closely. “Oh, Lixie — you know I enjoyed our time together as much as you did.“

It is the truth, you haven’t stop thinking about him and the intimate moment you two shared. Your hand falls onto his shoulder, squeezing it in recurrence, licking your lips at the memory of his salty cum. “Really?” He is peaking at you from behind his hands, big eyes searching yours and you feel warmness spreading across your whole body.

“Yeah, I just didn’t want to overwhelm you, baby.” Another nickname, this one piercing his heart more than the other. You are leaning closer to him, pushing his hands away from his face, deja vu washing over him. There is this look again, your eyes becoming droopy the more you lean on to him, touching your chest with his side. “You don’t even know how hard it was for me not to take you right there…when you looked so good — teary eyes, lips all red and puffy–“

Felix’s gasp is silenced by the softness of your own lips pressing against his. It tickles, featherly light and way too short. His cheeks are dusted pink, highly aware of your breasts grazing over his arm. “I…have been thinking about you.” He doesn’t want to lie nor be quiet anymore.

Watching your lips form into a small smile, you look up at him so sweetly he melts into your bed. “I hope so–“ Hearing a small laugh coming from you makes him smile also, but it falls a little when you unexpectedly move even closer to him. Your face is next to his, your frame caging him under you yet again, but now it feels even better. “Did you touch yourself?” You whisper into his ear that twitches from your words. He is silent, flustered from such question that you both know the answer to, but you seem to enjoy riling him up. “Felix?”

He closes his eyes, shuttering when your lips graze his ear lobe. “Yes…” He can’t lie, you can already see right through him.

“How?”

A small sound gets stuck at the back of his throat, when you lick over his jaw. Goosebumps rise all over his trembling body and being so quiet wasn’t so clever as you only climb your way up his body. His eyes instantly snap open, staring at your face so close to his. He sighs, when you sit down onto him, right down on his already hard cock. Your weight puts the perfect amount of pressure and Felix looks already like a complete mess. “I–“ You tilt your head at him, waiting patiently for him to answer while he quivers nervously. “I…h-humped my pillow.” He wants the bed to swallow him whole, he wants to disappear from the existence as he confessed his embarrassing secret.

You — you on the other hand, can’t help but sigh. The sound is foreign, like you were getting off from him being so flustered. The expression on your face definitely tells him how much you find his words arousing. You lean back over him, pushing his hair from his face, but not releasing the strands from your grip. “So cute…” The word doesn’t compliment your actions as you ground onto him, mouth catching his whimper. “Fuck — wanna eat you all up again–“ Moan leaves his mouth that he presses against yours. “What exactly have you been thinking about?”

His answer gets stuck at the back of his throat as you move to assault him there with open mouth kisses. Felix tried to keep his eyes open, but fails when you nibble on the faded spot on his skin. “You — your mouth a-and–ah!” Your suck harshly at his throat, making him stutter.

“And what?” You want his answer, he wants to give them to you, but the way your teeth graze the thin skin, right over his pulsing vein, he has trouble finding them.

“And how you feel like–“

You stop at his words, pulling away from him to look deeply into his blown out pupils. “Oh? You want that?” You are teasing him meanly, almost like mocking him as he nods quickly. “Wanna make me feel good too?” Felix only shakes his head again, hands forming into fists by his side.

“Please–“ It’s the only word he knows at this point. He wishes nothing more than to make you feel good, make you feel the same amount of pleasure you give him. He wants to see you crumble, shaking, moaning from every subtle touch of his.

You pull him against you, placing his hands on your waist. Your mouth is hot, spit everywhere as it didn’t seem like kissing anymore, just simply devouring each other. You roll your hips over him, center right over his and your small movements send his mind spiraling. Felix wants to sob from how delicious you taste and feel. His grip is shaky yet strong and he follows you when you fall backwards, so he his now the one on top. It still is so clear, who has the power. Your lips melt into each other, biting and smearing your mixed spit all over your faces. He is drunk on you again, almost forgetting you gave the permission to touch you back as you again his hand and placing it over your breast.

He moans, head tilting to look down st the sight. His hand fits so perfectly around your right breast and that is really getting into his empty head. Your hand on top of his squeezes, him gasping and you moaning. “More–“ You are however not pleading him. Moving his hand away from your breast, you trail it down your stomach right to the waistband of your sweatpants. “Right there.” He is gasping, Adam’s apple bobbing as he looks down at his hand so close to your pussy and then back to your face.

“I don’t know what to do–“ Felix won’t cry, but the thought of not making you feel good is breaking him. His small pout is kissed away, just barely shoving the tip of his fingers under your clothes.

“Gonna teach you–“ Your short kisses are hungry, chest heaving from your own desperation. He doesn’t say anything else, attention at the way you release his hand from your hold to give him his own control over your pleasure.

Your lower tummy is so soft, little squishy. Your sweatpants are dangerously low, giving him just a glimpse of the black lace covering your mound. Heat is radiating from your center, pushing his hand slowly into your pants, but still not going under your panties. Your hips jump, hands running over him like in a silent plea and he finally at that fingers the soft lace of your underwear. He is sweating, nervous about touching you somewhere wrong, but that’s your queue.

The first thing Felix feels is thick wetness coating your panties, fingers reaching deeper and dipping in your soaked cunt. It’s soft — like the rest of you. Dripping and hot. His mouth is open, eyes looking nowhere in particular as he is taken back by your anatomy. The way he can see his hand moving under your clothing is driving him crazy. His fingers go so lightly over every dip, your labia, hole to the small peak at the top that particularly makes you moan. Your hand finds his again, turning to catch your darkened eyes, while you move his fingers over the nub again. “Feel that? That’s the clit.” He is nodding, licking away the drool in the corner of his mouth.

You moves his fingers over it in tight circles, eyes falling shut, while his are wildly staring at your face. You press his fingers harder against you, sighing, back arching a little. He can’t believe he is making you look like this. “Fuck–“ Felix feels his hard cock twitching painfully, watching you so closely that it creeps you out a little.

Your sounds are becoming more frequent, short, chasing after his hand that he is now moving on his own. Though it’s not enough for you. You need something to fill you up, relief the ache between your legs, so you push his hand lower, making him stumble in his moves. You wrap your own fingers around his index and middle one, trailing them over your pussy till they hit your entrance. Both of you moan just at this and you leave him anxious when you withdrew your hand, completely leaving him to be your pleasure.

He watched so many videos, fantasizing. He would moves his fingers according to the person in the video, mimicking them and picturing your cunt instead the one displayed on the small screen of his phone. Now he is imaginations are turning into something real and raw. Felix without even looking away from you, presses his fingers into you, dipping into your hungry hole. Your small whimper tells him to keep going, rutting against his fingers that only go deeper into you.

Your walls contract around his two fingers, sucking them in and he trembles, because how must you feel around is cock? You dig your fingers into his back as he starts to move his fingers, in and out, before curling them, just like he has seen in the videos. The girl in the video however looked nowhere as amazing as you nor moaning this much as he repeats the move couple of times. “So good–“ Your praise is just a mumble, heat flooding your lower tummy when he scissors his fingers inside you.

You are now the one speechless, because how come a virgin can make you crumble from just his fingers? They are not the longest, but he somehow manages to take advantage of that as your soft spot is right under your opening. He is not even realizing it, but his palm keeps bumping into your clit, sending waves of pleasure. You don’t even know what to say anymore, he is already perfect at what he is doing. Your blurry eyes are having a hard time to stay open, but you can make out his concentrated face, tongue poking out his lips.

“Gonna–“ His head snaps immediately to you, quite comically. His fingers are not stopping drilling into you, wet squelching noises feeling up the room. He looks crazy — with his wild, wide eyes staring at you, licking his pretty, pink lips. You can’t fight the rumbling in your tummy, liquid fire drowning you in a immense pleasure. You have to hold his forearm to brace yourself, legs shaking around his hand and he thinks he can just cum from seeing your pretty eyes rolling into the back of your head.

Your body is trembling, his hand stopping as you keep pushing at it, because he literally couldn’t stop. Your moan is loud, long, body stilling when you reach your peak. He can feel your walls clamping on him, your orgasm spilling around his fingers, coating even the material of your sweatpants. Felix is looking at you lovingly, letting you pull him for a heated kiss that he finally seems to catch up it.

He is literally shaking from happiness, ignoring the pain in his hand that you slowly pull out your spend pussy. When you pull away from his lips, he literally whimper when he sees his soaked hand. It’s glistening from your pleasure and he knows he is in trouble when you suddenly put his fingers in your mouth. It’s just like you did to him few days ago — sucking hard and pressing his digits down on your tongue.

“I need you–“ That’s what he whispers to you when you pull his fingers out of your mouth and your face softens at his words. “I want you to be my first.” There…it is said, the thing he wants the most.

He has never seen you so concern and so serious before. “Are you sure?” You are an angel, asking him still, even after what happened. A big genuine smile spreads across his face, nodding at your question. He thinks he has never been this sure before in his life. He wants you — only you, he wants you to be his everything. He receives a sweat kiss to his pink nose and he sighs dreamily at that. Your hands fall on to his shoulders, massaging him as you look up at him. “How do want me?”

That’s probably the worst questions you could’ve asked him, because he literally wants everything, though he has to remember not to get too greedy too fast. “O-on your back?” He almost slaps himself, because you literally just only shuffle a little lower on the bed to get comfortable. It makes the bottom of your tank top rise to your stomach, his eyes falling to your exposed skin. “Can you take this off?” He asks you, tugging cutely at the bottom of your tank top, before his fingers touch your sweatpants again.

“Only if you do too.”

You don’t have to tell him twice, ignoring the fact that this will be the first time that someone sees him naked. He is not ashamed, but still nervous enough to hold his shirt to his chest for a moment. The sounds of yours and his clothes ruffling is loud, yet yours shared looks are full of softness. Felix marvels over your figure, loving the soft rolls of your stomach as you pull down your pants finally. Your breast are covered by a thin sheer lace, hugging you perfectly and he feels giddy inside, when he notices your matching underwear. You put it on just for him…and so he didn’t think he would enjoy being pulled off of your body so much.

“So pretty–“ More than that — you are perfect. You are everything and he is sure he couldn’t pick anyone else instead of you. Your breasts are smushed together from your hands being wrapped around his shoulder, hips just the right size to grind over his.

Your fingers tug softly at his long hair, enjoying your own view as well. “Come here.” You tug him to your body, legs spreading so he could feel your centers pressing against each other. He feels just a little embarrassed when he feels the precum from his tip smearing across your skin, but it completely flies over his head, when your foot digs into his ass, making him fall fully on top of you.

His mouth falls open, when his cock is flush with your cunt, whining immediately. You play with his hair, calming as he is a little overwhelmed. Felix literally cries out, when your hand squeezed pass your bodies to touch him. Your hand finds him, pointing his tip to your clit to poke at it a little. From being so close to each other, you have no problem smearing both of yours juices everywhere. “Y/N.” He calls out to you, sobbing nearly. You don’t answer him, your soothing hand on his back told him everything, while the other finally levels his cock to your hole.

Felix is glad he chose this position, because it gives him a little control over the pleasure he receives, though it still hard not to cum right the second he slips inside. There is no resistance, your walls welcome him, pulsate around him and he is for sure that he saw pure white for a moment. He had never felt something so…wet and hot and tight and so so good. How is it possible that you are walking around the world,, when you should be up in the heavens?

You are smiling, however mostly in a small amusement from the deep frown on his face. You think you will be alright even if he won’t last long — actually, something about it makes your pussy tighten around him. You are both breathing heavily into each other’s mouths, your nails scraping against his prominent muscles. He surprises you by placing his hands over your tits, lightly flickering his thumbs over your nipples, you whining a little from the small pain his inexperience gives you.

“Take your time–“ It falls to deaf ears as he suddenly grinds into you, his tip just kissing your cervix. You don’t correct or tease him, it felt too good for you to tell him to slow down. His cock is yummy, twitching around your walls as he experimentally pull his hips back, before snapping them back into your.

That knocks the air out of him, shuddering, because you only seem to get tighter around him. His cheeks are red from his shaky moves, whining against you, because he thinks he is already going to cum. “I’m s-sorry.” He is apologizing to you, face hiding in your neck, humping lightly into you.

You feel your heart hurting from his sounds, caressing the top of his hair softly. “I-It’s okay–“ You help him with raising your own hips to meet his thrusts. “It’s okay, Felix–“ You reassure him, hugging him, while rutting against him. His cock barely dips out of you, but somehow it makes you feel just as good. Maybe it is because your clit keeps getting abused by the coarse hair on his pubic bone. “Go harder for me, baby — come on–“

Your hand presses against his perky ass, quickening his desperate moves and he moans sharply into your neck. His mouth is running across your skin, sucking the same way you did to him and he is going crazy, because you only push your neck more towards his mouth. You are letting him mark you up, letting him suck deep red splotches everywhere so anyone could see what you two have done. Moans ring in the air, wet squelching sounds coming from your joined sweaty bodies. Felix couldn’t hold on any longer, his thrusts — more like grinds are getting harder, without any rythm. Your teeth nibble at his ear, hands running all over his body and he sobs out, when he starts to feel the familiar sensation of your contracting walls.

“Please cum with me — pleaseee–“

“Y-yes–“

“Can I cum please? Please — I’ve been good–“

“So good for me, Lixie–“ You rasp out, gasping at his pace.

“I made you cum – fuck! Oh–“

He runs his mouth wildly and loudly and only that makes you cum again, head rolling on your soft pillows from the pleasure. Your sounds, your expression and voice makes him thrust into you hard, gasping in short breaths as he can’t even catch his breath. The feeling of your orgasm washing over your body, sends him to his own. His limbs shake, trying not to fall on top of you, while his hot, creamy cum coats your insides. He is completely done for — body shaking uncontrollably at the intensity of this moment.

Felix doesn’t fight against the tears as they were mostly from pleasure, but you are still sweet enough to kiss each stray tear rolling down his cheek. Your pillowy lips land on his again, sealing this such intimate moment. Both of your hearts roar, breaths mixing together and eyes locked into each other — forming into one.