#you and neil didnt deserve any of it

[yourfavvgal]

reminding myself that todd never got to say goodbye to neil, he just watched him leave in the car without saying goodbye

[rrcenic]

sorry for posting so much about the neil gaiman thing im very opinionated but heres my general take on neil gaiman (TW FOR S/A AND SU1C1D3!!!!)

good omens fandom please read this. yall need it

i wanna start with: believe victims. it might not be as bad as it was claimed to be bc the reporter was an anti bdsm terf who considers all bdsm 🍇 (including the bdsm w neil), but there was still clearly manipulation, weaponized power imbalance, and dubious consent. even if it wasnt s/a, it was fucked up. neil did some fucked up things

while we dont know if he actually s/ad those women, neil gaiman is clearly flawed

ive seen time and time again that his fans (specifically the good omens fandom) can get so viciously defensive of him that they refuse to see any flaws he has

as someone who was ruthlessly attacked because of neil, i hesitate to give him the benefit of the doub

when i had just turned 13, id just gotten on tumblr. i was thrilled that good omens season 2 was coming out. i was even more thrilled to see neil gaiman on tumblr. so i sent him an ask where i asked if crowley and aziraphale would kiss. i get why that was annoying. he probably got those asks all the time. but i worded it respectfully, and i was genuinely unaware that he was annoyed by this question

he responded to my ask with a multi paragraph callout post talking about how sick of this question he was. harsh, but not necessarily nefarious

the response wasnt the problem. it was that i got so many hate comments and death threats and people telling me i didnt deserve joy and i was ruining neils life and so many fucking anon "kys" asks that i had to quit tumblr. i tried to apologize to neil, i sent him countless apology asks where i begged him to ask people to stop cyber bullying me, but he never responded. it took years before i was able to communicate to him all the hate id received. his response was a basic "sorry for the miscommunication" and that he wished there was a way to convey tone on the internet (someone said "there is! tonetags!!" and he responded with "i dont like those"). the SAME COMMUNITY who told me to kms was suddenly saying "oh neil your such a saint" (THE TERM SAINT WAS USED MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!) and "this poor ignorant child"

i was a kid and i was bullied off the internet and neil didnt respond to my pleas for forgiveness for almost 2 years. i was also in the most unstable time of my life. i was EXTREMELY suicidal. people telling me to kms deeply affected me

plus he reblogs a ton of "vote blue no matter who" stuff. i dont agree w that statement but i think its okay for people to say if they actively support palestine. but neil gaiman doesnt post about palestine ever other than reblogging posts that say "sure maybe the stuff in palestine is bad but if you dont support biden 100% democracy will crumble!!!" also im pretty sure he never apologized for some older zionist posts

ive seen a lot of stuff where people are saying "hey shhh its okay i see good omens fans getting sad bc of the stuff with neil but its ok!! youre still a good person even if you ignore this issue!!" and like. huh??? i dont think ignoring it makes you evil but its certainly fucked up to not be critical of the media you consume. pretending nothings going on is immature. you all sound like jk rowling fans smh

his general attitude towards fans makes me uncomfortable. ive seen people bare their souls in his asks (all of them start with something along the lines of "oh sir mister gaiman sir i am nothing but a disgusting peon compared to you you saved my life id die for you!!!") and he gives rude cold responses. i mean of course he gets annoyed and of course he gets spam but no one is forcing him to respond to asks. he doesnt seem to care very much??? this doesnt make him a bad person ofcourse but it does give me the ick

summary: even if he didnt s/a those women his fans need to grow up. he is not a pure perfect person. he might not be evil but he makes some extremely damaging choices. hes not a saint and never has been. at the end of the day, hes a rich cishet white man

[ihni]

The hospital room is surprisingly cozy, for a hospital room. The walls aren't white, but a light green. There's a small plant in a pot on the windowsill, and a pile of newspapers on the table by the wall. One of them is open on the crossword page. It's only half done, a pencil lying on the page, forgotten, as if whoever tried to solve it gave up halfway through.

There's a chequered blanket on the bed, and an unmoving man lying under it. He's been there for a long time. The nurses don't mention the blanket, or the newspapers, or the plant. They know not to fight a dying man's family on the little things that might bring them comfort.

And the man in the bed is dying.

Neil Hargrove is dying.

He hasn't managed to eat at all for three days. Hasn't woken up for the last twenty-four hours. They've got him on a drip, but no one expects him to last much longer when he can't even drink. His mouth doesn't close anymore, and his jaw hangs open as if dislocated. His breath smells sour. Something rattles in his chest when he breathes, and his breaths are increasigly labored.

Billy sits in a chair by the bed, head in his hands, watching his father as he slowly withers away. Neil's hands are lying on top of the blanket, the skin of his hands like paper that has been out in the rain and then left to dry. The hands that have caused Billy so much pain now look like the fingers would snap if someone applied just the slightest bit of pressure. They look out of place, on the red and brown woollen fabric of the blanket. Soft, almost. Old. Alone.

Billy is sitting close. He could reach out, hold his father's hand as he dies.

He doesn't.

A knock on the doorframe and a rustle of someone moving behind him. Billy doesn't turn around.

"Hey," Steve says. "Have you been here all night?"

Billy doesn't answer. It's obvious that he has. He's still wearing the same clothes as he has been wearing forthe last two days, and he doesn't want to think of what his hair must look like by now. Besides, Steve would know if he'd left - they share a motel room while they're in town, after all.

A sigh, then, "Any change?"

He doesn't ask if Neil is doing better. Everyone knows how this is going to end, and it's not with Neil Hargrove's miraculous recovery.

"No," Billy says.

A coffee cup appears by his side, and he takes it, grateful. A hand lingers there, hovering as if the owner wants to touch but doesn't know if it would be welcome. Billy takes it (like he didnt take Neil's) and presses a kiss to the knuckles before giving it a squeeze and pressing it against his cheek. Steve gets the hint, and strokes his fingers over Billy's skin. His touch is comforting and gentle, like Neil's has never been.

Billy closes his eyes and allows himself a moment to feel the crushing weight of reality. Just a moment, before he opens his eyes again. Takes a sip of the coffee, and turns his attention back to the shell of his father, wasting away in the hospital bed.

"You sure you don't want to take a break, babe?" Steve asks. He's careful about it. Not demanding. They've already fought about this, several times. "Half an hour? Just to go back to the motel for a quick shower?"

Billy hears what Steve is trying hard not to say.

Steve doesn't think that Neil Hargrove deserves Billy being here. Thinks he deserves to die alone and forgotten in this hospital bed, after all the pain and suffering he put his family through. And it's not that Billy disagrees with him. He knows his dad is a piece of shit. But this is more than about what Neil deserves.

It's about Billy. And Neil is Billy's only living blood relative, and even though he has been a bastard for most of Billy's life, even though he has caused Billy so much pain and anguish ... he is still Billy's dad.

And he is dying.

And Billy needs to be there.

"I'm sure." He swallows, trying to force the sudden tears back. Fails. Attempts a smile that feels like a grimace. "Thanks."

Steve sees through him. Hugs him from behind, and doesn't say anything as Billy cries silent tears at his dying father's bedside. Billy is grateful for the silence. He knows what Steve wants to say, knows it all too well. Feels an echo of it in hos own heart, and knows the truth of it.

Neil Hargrove is a bad man. He doesn't deserve Billy's tears.

But Billy sheds them anyway.

He's crying, even though Neil hasn't even died yet, and he's not entirely sure what it is he's mourning for. He's pretty sure it's not the man himself.

Perhaps he's mourning his own ruined childhood. Perhaps, a father he never got to have. Or maybe the relationship they could have had, had Neil Hargrove been a better person.

He about about his past self, and his mother, and the father he wanted so desperately to love him. He cries about everything that happened between them, and everything they never had. He cries about the man behind him, who is leaning his head against Billy's back, with his arms around Billy's chest, holding him gently and making him feel so safe, so loved, so cared for.

As his father slowly dies in a hospital bed an arm's length away, Billy cries about it all.

His father is close, his powerless hands within reach where they're resting on the blanket. But Billy doesn't reach out for him. Doesn't reach out for the man who may have raised him, but never loved him.

Instead he lets himself be held by the man who does.

[mockingbirdshymn]

rating camp camp pairings

because i ran out of ideas for posts and saw someone else do this a few years ago so swoop the idea is mine now

nerriston - 10000000/10

i love them. ok. i really do theyre super cool. it make sense like. they have a perfect dynamic. theyre cute. we have magician who has anxiety, cocky loud theatre kid who does not give a shit, and short dnd nerd who would beat your ass and probably carries in all the groceries at once. LIKE. its perfect. it literally is the best

im equally as loving of presner/harriston/nerrison but nerriston is my main otp

presnurf - fuck you/10

hacks gags dies

presmax - 1/10

personally i dont see this? and its not because they havent interacted, mostly because their personalities don't mesh well imo? not to say that opposites don't attract, thats the building ground for so many good ships, but with them its just. kind of just pure annoyance any time they interact. and unlike nerrison, it's not a continuing thing that makes it a rivalry and has layers to it (ex. background interactions, like at the lake lilac summer social), with max and preston its just general annoyance any time they bump into each other.

plus i hc preston to be 14 and max is canonically 10 and while my headcanons arent canon, that interpretation of mine makes it a very much no go for me

neil x harrison - 3/10

not for me, but i can 100% see it

again though, i hc harrison to be 14 and neil is canonically 11, so,,, another dealbreaker for my bc of this headcanon

nerikki - 3/10

definitely compatible, and if it werent for the fact i have a sturdy hc on cc campers' ages, i feel i could like it?

but 14yo x 10yo is a big nono for me

ered x nikki - 1/10

for me it feels like nikki has a crush on ered in the same way kids tend to have crushes and idolize people older than them. like how someone may like their friend's way older brother, even though hes like 6 years older, but it dies out once they mature and stop idolizing him.

ered is either 15 or 16 in my headcanons, and nikki is canonically 10, so,, nikki can have a crush on ered in the same way kids have crushes on celebrities, but for ered to act on that would be very very bad

ered x nerris - 6/10

can see it, not my favorite, but i can definitely enjoy content from it (like fanart or fics) if its not the main focus.

ered x dolph - 1/10

sir, dolph is like literally the youngest. ered is the oldest pls stop (ik the eggs benefits episode was what started a lot of ships but. but cmon)

honestly though i rlly like the idea of them as older sister younger brother type of dynamic, tho ive not seen many people hc that if any

space kid x dolph - 8/10

i like them as friends more but i can definitely see it and enjoy it!! either romantic or platonic, i really love their (imagined bc they never interact lmfao) dynamic, and theyd mesh together very well personality-wise. both are clueless (dolph because he doesnt pick up on things well/holds a very positive view on everything, and space kid because his brain is like a pinball machine), and both have no friends/are generally excluded from everyone else due to their differences.

makki - 9/10

at first didnt like it at all, i like it now though!! dont have much of a reason for this, just think it's cute. angsty boy and feral girl. max would be moping and nikki would bring him a cool rock and he would not understand why but keep it anyway

maxneil - 10/10

"mandatory gay pairing for every main characters" is what someone from a random youtube video from like 4 years ago would say

though i rlly like it. guy who doesnt care at all and guy who overexplains absolutely everything/cares too much. max would ask a retoric question and neil would go into a ramble. max annoying the absolute shit out of neil and neil just. loudly sighing

neil x nikki - 1/10

i headcanon them as stepsiblings after parents day!! before i used to like it, but the fact their parents boned and nikki discussed being siblings killed that for me

nurf x a cactus - 10/10

he deserves to be prickled

neil x tabii - 1/10

i dont like fics where they're together as adults if im honest. as much as i adore tabii, her borderline obsession with neil makes him uncomfortble and i dont think it'd really be healthy at all. hes made it clear he doesnt like her

max x sasha - 7/10

can def see it! two bitchy assholes, though i dont like the idea all too much. would need someone else in the relationship to balance it out, or else its just kind of two dicks doing back and forth

pikeman x sasha - 8/10

it would not be healthy but by fucking christ it would be hilarious

sasha would be the gold digger and pikeman wouldnt know how to speak to a woman and it would be great

nikki x sasha - 5 to 8/10

nikki was bullied by sasha a lot, also sasha is kind of a dick, but they could be cute if sasha got over herself and started to be actually decent. with care put into it, it would be cute in a storyline of "girl forced to be perfect her entire life and externalizes this onto others, learns to embrace her true self through realizing that girl who is messy and doesnt care about how she looks is happy"

or maybe i just really like mabel x pacifica. its one or the other

tabii x erin - 8/10

very cute!! i liked how they acted at the end of the lake lilac summer social, but they work more as best friends in my opinion? badass besties who would wingman each other and tell each other everything in sleepovers. but at the same time, i do love gay people.

erin x neil - 7/10

SIGH if only erin got more character development. it could have been very cute. mostly because erin deserved someone who liked her for something other than her loks, which shed been pressured to prioritize just all of the time. also neil and erin could bounce ideas off each other?? and once more, pathetic bf x badass gf

erin x snake - 2/10

there wasnt much between them outside of "omg hes cute" without much emotion put into it, yk? which is funny because i like snake x tabii which wasnt too different but whatever

snake x tabii - 8/10

TABII WAS A DICK TO HIM BUT OH MY GOD IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

forever crying about that. they would go so well together????? tabii deserves someone who thinks shes pretty i really like tabii and she and snake would be badasses together and i and i and i

pikeman x snake - 3/10

do not like it personally. mostly because pikeman's an asshole but yk

camper x counselor - wtf/10

daniel x david - 4/10

definitely not for me!! can be cute i guess, especially in aus where daniel isnt a cultist, but i dont think david would ever fall for a child murderer

david x gwen - 20/10

i love them. i love them so much. goes into my favorite trope of badass wife x too scared to ask for katchup at a ristraunt husband

david x jasper - 10/10

pre-jasper death only. post-jasper death and thats creepy because jasper is literally still a child

pre-jasper death and in aus where jasper lives, i will gobble that shit up like a starving turkey. i literally love it so much. like??? i cant explain why. plus ive read so many good fics with it that i am unable to hate it.

gwen x jen - 3/10

jen has appeared a total of one time for exactly 5 seconds. but in aus where shes given a character and isnt a murderer then i think it could work

daniel x jen - 5/10

never interacted (as if im one to talk with my nerriston bullshit) but cultist x cultist can be made interesting

cameron x priss - 9/10

could either be 1 of 2 things

your grandparents that keep fighting all of the time but love each other

two irresponsible grandparents that teach the child how to make an explosive

they seemed to have a sort of romantic connection and it wasnt all sexual attraction, and cameron's fear of comitment was the only thing really stopping them from enjoying a presumably happy and healthy marriage

platypus x food - 10/10

a match made in heaven

[flower-zombie-rob]

holy shit don't leave author's asks like that, that's seriously not cool??? like that was an absolutely unhinged 4chan-esque violent comment for what- leaving an emotional cliffhanger? No one deserves that kind of behaviour. for real, please don't, not even as a joke.

I hope you feel better soon if the ending made u so raw, but don't take it on others fam.

I was kidding. Im littlerally someone on the internet who was kidding. I didbt mean it in any capacity to be harmful it was jusg a joke its the kind of thing that i didnt ever want anyone to take seriously im really sorry please just leave me alone thats not tbe kibd of eay id ever behave to anyone.

I meant it in a joking way and im so sorry to people who took it seriously, thafs not how i intended it i meant it as one of those meme cursed kibd of interractions i would never wish any kind of violence or harm towards snyone. Neil gaimans one of my favourite authors and i adore his work and im so sorry if that in any way caused any kind of harm i didnt mean it please. I want to delete it so badly because i cant tell if it was taken as a joke and now im freaking out im so sorry please it was a huge mistake and i dont know what to do i didnt even think the ask sent at all when i first sent it, i thought i didnt hit send and i would never wish malice or bad intent on another person i think thats utterly disgusting and if i could take it back i would in a heartbeat

[dirtyvulture]

I have read the little “ dear diary” story for the darkest knight universe and it was AMAZING like always!!!!!! It was sooo fluffy, cute and wholesome ( the domestic bliss and life that BOTH Nat wolverine DESERVES and the two of them interacting with R’s kids * cough Nat’s step kids cough * ……. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) . But let’s NOT FORGET about the SMUT , the god of lust has DELIVERED yet again !!!!!!!!

Now I haven’t had many thoughts on either the DK or SB universe ( I have been talking to a friend ABOUT about the DK series but I digress) but I might have a few little things for both universes . Both are things that happen to me that sparked the thoughts . So last night I DIDNT SLEEP ( I might have slept and dreamt a little but not much ) and a couple of days ( maybe even a week ago I had a nightmare at like 3 in the morning and DIDNT sleep again that night. I also live with my family so I was devastating trying to be quiet so I didn’t wake them up. I also just did a cleaning day at work ( I work at a fast food place , I work four hour shifts. Literally spent 2 hours just cleaning the back of the store and then the next 2 hours doing my “ normal” tasks for work). So my thoughts are just going to be SB and Wolvie dealing with being unable to sleep and trying not to be disruptive to the people around them. Them also just doing a cleaning day ( it is the time for spring cleaning after all) .

In the DK universe we have already seen a bit with the aspect of Wolvie trying not to wake the people up around them ( She was trying to be as quiet as possible ……. but with 200 pounds of metal in her body….. THAT IS HARD TO DO) and went to the balcony . There is a very interesting history fact that can also tie into Wolvie’s sleeping habits but I wouldn’t go into it now because I don’t want to make this too long or bore anyone with something they don’t want to know ( if you want to hear about it then I will be more the happy to teach you) but it does contextualize some things in this aspect of Wolvie’s life and sleeping habits ( or lack there of) . I think Wolvie would go to the balcony and do some stargazeing , go to the kitchen ( get something to eat or drink) , common rooms ( probably to do some reading ) or go to the doom rooms and do a workout. Just SOMETHING to pass the time when R KNOWS she isn’t going to get any sleep but not wake or disturb the rest of the mansion.

For Spring cleaning (or just cleaning in general) I think that BOTH listen to music while doing tasks like that ( my Managers are really cool and but on music while everyone works, it helps past the time and makes tasks a bit more fun) . R has lived a LONG time so she has seen music and the music industry grow, change and evolve …… meaning she has VAST range of musical tastes and likes. I think when R is cleaning she listens more to the “ oldies” : Frank Sinatra , Johnny Cash , Neil Diamond . SB also has a WIDE range of musical tastes and genres ( nowhere NEAR Wolverine R but then again , Wolverine R is VERY OLD and SB is a BABY compared to Wolvie …… EVERYONE is ). I think that SB would just have something like pandora, Spotify , etc and just leave it on random or shuffle ( no real set play list at all) .

In SB universe …….. SB is just SHIT OUT OF LUCK , for many reasons. One the living space isn’t as big as the Mansion ( none would be ) , two Nat is a VERY light sleeper ( BOTH Nat’s are) ….. the way that Nat and SB sleep ( Nat ontop of SB , Nat being big spoon or occasionally little spoon. Bottom line it’s in a way that they aren’t apart and there is no way that SB could move around or leave the bed Without WAKING Nat up)…. Yeah the poor golden is SHIT OUT OF LUCK. They are just STUCK in bed until the morning and until Nat wakes up.

Before anyone tells me “ Wolverine would have to deal with Nat ( who like mentioned before is a light sleeper and both Wolvie and Nat sleep in a the same way that SB and Nat does EXPECT Wolverine R is the one that is mostly the big spoon and occasionally the little spoon) AND Jean ( because she can sense R’s restless mind and thoughts) .” I know !!!!!

Hope everyone has a nice Spring cleaning and sleep much better than I did ( also that you all have pleasant dreams with no nightmares) !!!!!! Happy Spring EVERYONE!!!!!

I am so so glad you enjoyed it! :) I was really excited to get to write a more happy and domestic fic (since no promises the next one will be 😄), but yes this is everything Nat has always deserved, I'm happy she gets to enjoy it for a little bit.

It has been a long time since you shared your thoughts, they are always welcomed here.

I am sorry you were not able to sleep much, but that is definitely a shared trait of Wolvie!R's lol. We've seen in the first fic already that Wolvie does have trouble sleeping and she likes to go stand on the balcony to look at the stars.

R definitely loves almost all kinds of music. While SB has no real preference for music and just lets Nat pick whatever they should listen to at any given moment. :)

(I also think SB is hardly the big spoon for Sergeant Romanoff...maybe on a rare night once in a blue moon.) But SB probably just lies there under Nat and strokes her hair while they think about whatever is bothering them.

Nat is probably used to Wolvie getting up and going around, sometimes she joins and sometimes she doesn't. (But if Jean is up and trying to follow R, you bet Nat is going to make sure Jean doesn't try anything.)

Welcome back, friend!

[cogneartive]

birth of manassas: the bible

hidden under readmore - an uncovered stone tablet.

excerpt: GRAHAM, CROZ AND NEIL ALL TOOK A LOOK AT EACH OTHER'S ESTROGEN SHOTS AND LOOKED AT STEPHEN. WAS HE NOT LIKE A BABY BUTCH OR SOMETHING?

STEPHEN ARTHUR STILLS BORN JANUARY 3 1945 WAS BALD BLONDING AND AUTISTIC HE WAS A GREAT COOK ACCORDING TO HIS BANDMATES AND HE WAS A MAMA'S BOY! GRAHAM ONCE SAID: this guy. welp. hes got like a mental illness or something AND HE HIT NEIL YOUNG IN THE FACE. ONCE UPON A TIME HE WAS IN A CAR AND HE MET NEIL YOUNG. HE SAID TO NEIL "YOU COULDA BEEN SAVED BY ESTROGEN" BUT ALAS NEIL SAID "im canadian now. and emo too" AND STEPHEN WAILED. BUT BEFORE THAT HE WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH PETER TORK JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOKED ALIKE. THEY WERE INDEED SISTERS BY CHANCE FRIENDS BY CHOICE. STEPHEN SAID "hey the monkees. you know the monkees? you could be the monkees. -im kinda ugly-" AND PETER TORK SAID "ok! ill be the monkees (i hate the monkees later on). LATER ON NEIL AND STEPHEN HATED EACH OTHER. NEIL SAID "i have epilepsy" AND STEPHEN SAID "aww gee emma lepsy? whos that? her ass jiggle good or no?" AND NEIL HAD A SEIZURE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. THIS WENT ON FOR MANY YEARS UNTIL HE MET THE CROSBY. HE HATED CROSBY. HE HATED CROSBY ALOT. BUT IT DIDNT MATTER CUS HE WAS FAT AND FUNNY. CROSBY SAID "i dont like this guy" AND BANDMATE CHRIS SAID "hey. you know i was writing something on my wrist and it came up on his wrist. i think we might be soulmates" AND HIS BANDMATE ROGER SAID "IRRELEVANT. I HATE HIS AUTISTIC ASS"

AND STEPHEN SAID. "hey. i fucking hate my band. they fucking broke up. hey crosby. join a band with me" AND CROZ SAID "ok. im a weed smoker and womaniser. but we need another woman in this band" AND STEPHEN SAID "hey. they arent any women in this band." THEN GRAHAM NASH ARRIVED. HE HAD JUST BEEN DIVORCED FROM ALLAN CLARKE. IT HAD BEEN A RAW AND NASTY DIVORCE BUT IT WAS ALRIGHT. HE TOOK ONE GOOD LOOK AT CROSBY: "oh great googly moogly! that orange bitch is kind of hot in a thick mama way." HE WENT OVER TO CROSBY AND HIS CHIHUAHUA STEPHEN STILLS AND SAID "hey. youre cool. whats your name. Oh kaff kaff im scik im goigntodie" AND CROSBY SAID "lets form a band! btw i think joni mitchell may be impregnanting you in the next few years." AND GRAHAM SAID "WHAT!" SOONER OR LATER JONI MITCHELL WOULD PUT HER HAND IN STEPHEN'S HAIR AND SAY "hey youre hair is nice and soft. very thin. oh hey that british boy looks kind of impregnatable. can i have a try?" AND CROSBY SAID "oh yes please do its kind of kinky" SOON: GRAHAM WAS PREGNANT. BUT THAT DIDNT MATTER

LATER: NEIL YOUNG WAS FORCED TO JOIN A BAND. NEIL SAID: "oh lordy lordy eh a band full of women eh this isnt going to end well eh. has a seizure" AND STEPHEN SAID "hey they arent any women in this band." GRAHAM, CROZ AND NEIL ALL TOOK A LOOK AT EACH OTHER'S ESTROGEN SHOTS AND LOOKED AT STEPHEN. WAS HE NOT LIKE A BABY BUTCH OR SOMETHING? LATER ON STEPHEN SAID "hey graham i think you have my girlfriend. hey graham. graham graham awwww whatever spits on you spits on you spits on you spits on you spits" AND ALL GRAHAM DID WAS SHRIEK AT HIM AND HIT HIM WITH A BUNCH OF CHAIRS. THEN CSNY DISBANDED FOR A BIT. AS USUAL. STEPHEN SAID TO CHRIS: "hey buddy. i think you deserve a little bit of that mandolin magic baby boy. baby. hey youre kind of a baby butch to me in a way." AND CHRIS SAID: "hey but there arent any women in this band. eh? band? thats weird. im part of no band." AND STEPHEN SAID: "boy you gotta join my band. they call me captain many hands they do. you can be my second hand man. my lieutenant. sleep in my mansion. sleep in the army beds. were you there in vietnam? I was" AND SO MANASSAS WAS BORN

[phoenixyfriend]

Gonna share a bunch of the Fun Tags I've seen on this post.

#I saw this a minute ago and I was like.#prachett was c of e and gaiman is jewish#(both of them atheist/ atheist-adjacent)#catholics do not have a monopoly on complicated relationships with christian theology lol#also I think reducing what makes a character catholic to just trying to find the most symbolicly christian character is kind of………..#reductive to the catholic experience?#not that the feelings of catholics are my number one priority lol but like it is in fact a distinct identity#shaped by its history and the ideology it purports to serve and the unique relationship to a unique faith#just like any other religious identity#idk this is a joke poll and like all joke polls it’s been funny to watch#and I’m not actually mad or anything this is at most an amusement fueled faux outrage#but like in general.#next time you say a character is catholic stop and think: are they? (via @onelonelystory)

#pls vote homura!#i love crowley sm too but homura absolutely 100000% deserves to win this one (via @catboywizard)

#now I'm no theologian. or whatever.#but crowley could not give me less of a Catholic vibe if he tried (via @ruin-gay)

#CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE ARE FUCKING JEWISH#homura is catholic tho ur right there (via @quinquangularist)

#Vote for Homura Akemi!!!!#Crowley's jewish#I'm sorry (no I'm not) but no catholic would question god like that#also Neil Gaiman is jewish#and based the scene where Crowley and co talk about their evil deeds off of an antisemitic play (? I think it was a play?)#as a way to make fun of and kind of reclaim it#and his relationship with god and heaven is just very jewish of him in general#also I'm jewish and I love him#have the catholics not taken enough from us#I'm joking but also not really#I love my boy and that's why he must lose (via @neerdowellnarrator)

#Homura loves god so much she is down horrendous for god (via @bootlegfriend)

#echoing everyone in the tags and saying that CROWLEY IS JEWISH#Homura is THE Catholic character of all time#religious guilt singleminded devotion and a same sex love interest that makes her feel guilty af#she has it all!#she is IN LOVE. WITH GOD.#vote Homura Akemi! (via @burnorgetburned)

#homura is actually catholic what are you people even on (via @lachrymosade)

#pls vote homura apparently the superwholock demon is Jewish#also it’s literally pride and she’s canonical a lesbian (via @usaigi)

#Oh homura is WAY more Catholic than Crowley lmfao (via @saccharineomens)

#if you ppl let the character born as a literal parody/subversion#of the ''evil jewish cult plotting the end of the world'' conspiracy get christianized we are officially worsties#vote the anime girl (via @carlyraejepsans)

#please vote homura guys shes a catholic shes a lesbian she trapped herself in a timeloop that changed the very structure of the universe#AND she robbed the military. shes so iconic please (via @sleepylinguistt)

#i didnt even see who he was up against or what the poll was for i just saw david tennant and voted wo thinking#milflaralorvan ur post would have worked if i saw it first BDJSHJF#i cant actually retract votes so im just gonna joke 'im keeping my vote for the transgenderism effect the 10th doctor and crowley had on me#exclusively but in spirit im voting homura' (via @zymstarz-rb)



Round 2 - Side A

Propaganda below ⬇️

Homura

she is a catholic lesbian whose girlfriend became god. she has been through so much.

shes such a lesbian for amdoke

Catholic guilt literally turned her into a demon

she literally watches everyone she knows die over and over and over again just so she can save madoka, the one girl who showed kindness towards her. when madoka ends up basically becoming god in order to stop the cycle of death and violence, homura RIPS AWAY THE HUMAN PART OF HER SOUL so that she can create a world where she and Madoka and their friends can live happily, effectively becoming the devil to madoka’s god

She has so much religious symbolism when it comes to her relationship to Madoka. Madoka is God and Homura becomes Lucifer so that she can save Madoka and give her happiness. She literally rips God from heaven and rewrites reality though. The way she sees her self and shapes reality is through the lense of Catholicism.

most fucked up little catholic girl. we love that for her.

Okay homuras entire fuckin arc is stemmed from the fact she is Catholic. Look at her trying to save Madoka over and over again and suffering for it because she thinks if she suffers enough and works hard enough Madoka will stay. Normal people do not go into time loops willingly. Catholics will.

Crowley

i'm pretty sure a central point of the book is that the demon is more catholic than the angel

[80svhstapes]

I'm sorry you always advocate for abuse victims like Billy but now you're literally throwing one (Susan) under the bus. Where is your compassion for her? She is a victim of Neils as well that's so hypocritical. And to say she neglected Max willingly, she also had the depression in s4 too. Susan deserved help as well she's not a cunt omg. You always be like no comparing of abuse victims but now you do the same because she didn't help your fave as she had her own shit to worry about.

*sighs* well here's the thing anon

the biggest difference between susan and the siblings is that she's the adult and they are the CHILDREN, I would have sympathy for her IF she hadn't neglected max and billy for the entire time she's been on this show

if you're gonna neglect your kid i'm not gonna have much tolerance for you, especially if you're an addict to drugs or alcohol

this isn't to say that susan didnt deserve help I am saying I don't have any tolerance for her because she reminds me of WAY too many adults that have countlessly failed me and my best friend in my life

[yourfavvgal]

reminding myself that todd never got to say goodbye to neil, he just watched him leave in the car without saying goodbye

[ceasarslegion]

Yay!

So this person was in that half life server i talk about sometimes. They just left out of the blue one day and ghosted everybody as if we were all just things to discard after over a year so i think vaguely putting them on blast is somewhat deserved, although i wont be giving identifying information beyond that. Those in that server will know who im talking about. I personally suspect that they ghosted because we told them one too many times that just because theyre autistic doesnt mean their parents were dicks for making them stand in line at the mall for a little long and that they really should figure out how to cope with situations like that instead of just instantly having public meltdowns they seemed to fully indulge every time something like that happened. They also, on multiple occassions, vagueposted about me in the SAME SERVER implying i was a piece of shit for doing things like posting a photo of a big spider to go "YUCKY ITS IN MY HOUSE" which apparently triggered them when they, at no previous point, voiced that spiders triggered them. Like do you want me to read your fucking mind? Said person was also a fully grown adult so, yeah. Yikes.

Anyway they had a DNI on their blog that was separated into two sections: red vs yellow flags. Red flags were things you werent allowed to interact at all for if you were any one of them. Of these included your nazis, your racists, and your... beastars fans. Deadass. Beastars is apparently just as bad as being a nazi. Cool. I dont think you know what a nazi is.

Yellow flags were things you werent allowed to interact with if you met any 3 of them, which was littered with your typical tumblrina "problematic media" dni list. Yes i met most of these things but i simply didnt care. Because thats not how life works, you cant just cut people out for being fans of three things you dont like, of which included, no word of a lie, "neil gaiman fans."

Yeah the real world is gonna chew you up and spit you out if you dont grow up

Oh god that last post reminded me

Who wants to hear about the most chronically online dni list ive ever seen

[redrabbitspod]

This is in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful and I am fully aware that you can do whatever you please but I feel like Neil is getting so out of character. He clearly started to develop more of an own personality but he definitely has been through so much and he is just so..cheery and happy and clingy all the time(which if you’re like that is in no way wrong or bad) and now he reminds me so much of Nicky in AFTG. It’s really hard for me to still see Neil.

OOC: This is very long, and while we think everything leading up to it is super important to our thought process (and yes this is something we’ve thought about) the bit in bold is the heart of the point we try to make. (Please read the whole thing though!)

Hey, I’m actually really happy that you sent this in because I’ve been wanting to talk about it. I know that there’s a post going around that we both wholeheartedly agree with about Neil reaching far past ooc and becoming very ‘fem’. Jeni and I had a really long talk about this because we were worried that our Neil would be perceived or mistaken to fit in that trope. And while I think your concern is EXTREMELY valid (note: people can write the characters however they want. It’s fanfiction, they can do as they please, like you said, we just did not want to go that direction), I have a few points as to why I disagree. 

On surface I definitely get that. Idk if you’ve read the entirety of RRP, but I know for those of you that just read the asks (Im sure there are a lot), it DEFINITELY seems that way. But we went into RRP right off the bat letting people know that these characters will fundamentally be different. In Andrew’s case, we know he’s extremely soft now and we bring that up a LOT in the fic. Both himself acknowledging it and all the other characters around him. But we went in knowing he was going to be very different from canon - mainly because we took out the plotline that he was ever put on meds. In Wish You Were Here, the story we are writing post-season 2, we will be mentioning that and how we twisted it. Because in canon, that shaped his entire character. The medication changed the physiology of his brain and we hated the fact that something so abhorrent was forced upon him by the courts that we didn’t do it. And as a result, Andrew’s character is completely different because he’s able to tap into emotions that were blocked in canon. He’s able to grow in ways that he was not able to before and besides the fact that this is set a good while after college and especially his sophomore year that we saw in canon, he was going to change. We definitely know that them admitting that they love each other, making strides in their relationship both physical and mental, opening up, expressing, for his character may seem extremely ooc for some, but we had to take into account what would’ve happened if we took the thing that shaped his character in canon away. I hope we’ve done him justice. 

Now onto Neil. Neil we work over a LOT. And when Jeni brought this up to me because of the post, there were glaring things in my mind that automatically said no. This doesnt apply to our Neil even though to some it may seem that way. Here’s what we’ve done at least very consciously to make sure that our Neil holds integrity to his canon character, that he holds merit and a backbone to back up how he’s grown throughout our series. 

From day one, we knew that they knew each other. We knew that an event from the past not only shaped how Andrew approaches life, but how Neil does as well. Childish sentiment and nostalgia kept Neil in Arizona for so long, which we imply throughout season 1 and start the ball rolling in the first chapter. For the both of them, they held onto the boy they met at the Grand Canyon through everything they’d been through. When shit got tough, it was each other they thought of. And on some wild whim, Neil hoped one day Andrew would walk through the Book Nook’s doors and he’d see him again. Not because Neil had a crush, because he didn’t. But because Andrew was the embodiment of strength for him. 

New York was really important to us. Neil standing his ground and letting Andrew know exactly what he’d done to him, was what the entirety of Season 1 and EVEN season 2 culminated and came back to. Neil being able to say no, fuck you asshole, and always express exactly how he was feeling, was so vitally important to us. ESPECIALLY when it came to Andrew. Those few weeks of New York we wanted to build a bridge if you will. Andrew’s intentions were always genuine and well-meaning and Neil knew that, but survival instincts and what’s been ingrained in him stuck. They started to have a little give when he came to realize that he felt something for the man before him. But he never lost that fight for himself. That HE has to ALSO be okay. And I think we see a lot in that trope of Neil that he loses the fight, the backbone, the integrity that makes his canon character so compelling (even if he is a martyr). 

One thing we worried people would misinterpret was how fast we pushed their characters together. We definitely get that. In our world we didnt really have the luxury of really stretching it out like some may have, just because we were working with real-time. And honestly? As we wrote, the drive to push them together because they were so connected and intertwined just fell genuinely and organically. For us, it only made sense and not because of canon, but because of the story we’d written already. It made sense to us for Andrew to be the one to hold himself back and Neil be the one reaching out - Neil be the one exploring and beginning to recognize what want and really, agency over himself AND his wants, was. Neil was the one to ask for their first kiss here, Neil was the one to initiate them all afterwards, Neil was the one that asked Andrew to touch him, Neil was the one that asked what they were in Arizona, Neil was the one to bring up sex. And in return, Andrew was peeling away layers of himself, feeling accepted, and wanted, and understood in ways he’d never been before. And honestly? Feeling honored that they were both experiencing emotions in ways that they both never felt before. We see their relationship has an equal give and take, a push and pull. And I’m saying all of this because it’s honestly and truly really important for why we’ve made Neil’s character the way that he is. 

Going into season 2, we knew that happiness could not last long. They both had things to sort out, they both had hurdles to hop over, bridges to cross, whole fucking oceans to swim. Before season 2 started, before we had anything written or really even solidly planned, we knew they had to break up. Jeni even had the scene written back in either july or august. We knew that in order to continue trying to give integrity to their characters and relationship, how far they’d grown but also that growth is not a linear path, we needed to break them up. And in the lead up to that, we made sure that Neil was not only looking out for Andrew or trying to, but that he was looking out for HIMSELF. Unlike in canon, he didnt automatically have the foxes - not in his head at least. Of course he knew he had a home there, he knew that he had friends, but they weren’t like canon because he didnt grow WITH them like he did in canon. In his mind, he really only had Andrew and if there was no Andrew, why stay? And when their fight happened we made sure that Neil had value enough in himself, care for himself, love for himself AND for Andrew that they couldn’t let this go on any longer. Neil left because he knew he deserved better. He knew Andrew needed help and he couldn’t provide it. And he held onto that. In fact, Andrew even held onto it himself: 

“Is there no hope, then?” Andrew asked, unable to help himself.

Neil sighed and Andrew was grateful that he at least didn’t pretend that he didn’t know what Andrew meant.

“I don’t know, Dr- Andrew.” Was it possible for his chest to hurt even more? He wanted to curl in on himself, but settled instead for clenching the sharp corners of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into the palm of his hand. He watched as Neil bit the inside of his lip and that little indent appeared. Maybe he feels it, too . “Part of me wants to say fuck it all and let’s just go home. I hate this... But I hate what you’ve been putting me through these last couple of weeks even more. I can’t do that again,” he stopped talking once more and inhaled a shuddering breath. “You broke my heart, Andrew. I know I sound dramatic and stupid, but I don’t know how else to say it and - I don’t know how to do this, for fucks sake.” He finally turned to him, but the eye contact was brief and before it was even there, it was gone. “I came into this knowing nothing about relationships and I know even less about breakups. I don’t know how to navigate this.”

“You think I do?” Andrew asked. He didn’t mean  for it to sound so bitter, but there it was.

“I don’t know with you,” Neil shrugged. “I feel like you keep everything so close to your chest, that there are whole sections of you I’m missing. And listen, I don’t blame you. You should be able to choose what you want to share. But I can’t help that it makes things hard when you’re falling apart and I don’t know why...”

Andrew let go of the box and put both of his hands in his lap. Grinding his teeth together, he heard the beginning hum of Bee’s buzz , but took a deep breath to try and keep her at bay. Clearing his throat, he looked back to the stadium and that stupid orange fox paw, before he murmured, “What if I offer you a piece?” - suddenly and quickly said, it was as if his mouth was trying to outrun his mind, despite the second he took to contain it. He’d known this would eventually come - that he would have to do this. And besides, Neil deserved an explanation, even if they never got back together.

“Andrew-”

“I’m not offering with hopes that we’ll get back together right now, Neil. I’m working through shit the best I can. Therapy is helping, but I know it’s a process. I just know you deserve an explanation. And I haven’t wanted to tell you because it’s fucking horrific, but I was also afraid that it would send me even further down the spiral if I talked about it. Now that I have a space to vent through, I don’t think I’m so afraid of the fall.”

This part was so important to us for both Andrew and Neil’s character. And in the entire build up to the break up and directly after, Neil held onto the fact that they needed to talk. He kept bringing it up. Because he knew that if they didn’t it would escalate just like it did before. 

“I wouldn’t risk being with you again if I didn’t think things would be different. I’m not better and to be honest? I probably wont ever be better. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my shit by myself because that’s just how it was. I’ve avoided relationships because I never trusted anyone with my baggage and I didn’t think it’d be fair to pile it on someone anyway. So when it comes to talking about shit - I’m not used to that. Bee was the only person I’d ever told everything to, and she doesn’t even know all of it.”

“I know that,” Neil said, leaning forward as if to show Andrew how much he actually understood. If that was the case, Andrew believed him. “I know you, Andrew. I would never force you to talk about something you don’t want to. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But , I need you to work with me, and if not me, someone else. Don’t take it out on me when you’re going through shit that neither of us can control. It’s not fair and it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and I can’t fix it.”

Now. Now we’re up to your points. I promise all of this was important for me to explain, because I know there’s literally SO MUCH that we’ve written, that shit happening now can get in the way of everything that’s happened before to lead up to this. 

We fully recognize that Neil is definitely happy. But he’s not happy-go-lucky and we tried really hard to make sure he didn’t lose his integrity - his backbone - the things that made Neil, Neil. 

Something I realized throughout this series was that I was getting worried that the focus of season 2 was so heavily on Andrew. I was seriously worried about that. But then I realized that Season 1 was focused solely on Neil. Season 1, Neil was a fucking wreck. It was Matt AND Andrew comforting him, Matt and Andrew bringing him down, Matt and Andrew trying to protect him, take care of him, find him, search for him, all of that. But even through Neil’s horrific anxiety and all the bad shit that happened, it was still Neil that pushed himself up from the ground, pulled Lola back, and gave Andrew the in. It was Neil that fought with the doctors and nurses to see Andrew and make sure he was okay. Even still afterward though, it was Neil discovering and Neil understanding and a lot of Neil, Neil, Neil. 

Season 2 is heavily focused on Andrew. We’ve already seen Neil’s story and his growth. Its Andrew’s turn to try and again, build his bridge to getting better. But with that, it was Neil that made the strides to speak and handle Ichirou, it was Neil that figured out things with his uncle, it was Neil that ultimately had the gun, brought Andrew for practice - took it out and demanded Andrew get behind him this time. It was Neil that looked Andrew in the eyes as the cops patted them down and desperately tried to tether them together.  It was Neil that kept reassuring Andrew they were going home. It was Neil that snapped the moment the cop tried to put his hands on Andrew to show them where their things were when they left the prescient, and ANDREW that allowed himself to be pulled into Neil’s arms in that moment, because he knew that he was the one thing that was SAFE. It was Neil that held Andrew that night and Andrew that LET himself be held as he broke down. 

That was one chapter ago. And we really tried to illustrate at the end that they have a life ahead of them now. They have a future - a future that is spread out and it’s bright and full of possibilities. They have a future where they can do what they want. They have a FAMILY. They have nieces, Aaron, Kate, Bee, the entire TFN team. Neil had nothing and now he has something. He has hope. 

Promise Im coming down to the end omfg. This is why our Authors and End Notes are so fucking long i swear to fucking god. 

This BTP chapter, we wanted to explore that fucking unbridled happiness. That elation of fuck - we have the world out in front of us. We don’t have any killers on our backs, Hailey is safe, Robin is safe, Jean is out, the Moriyama’s are taken care of, Stuart isn’t begging Neil to join the Hatford Branch, Aaron and Kate might be moving back to South Carolina, they’re married and all of that isn’t terrifying. It’s COMFORTING. So yes, this BTP chapter was bright and cheery. Neil was most certainly happy and showing it. Jumping on the bed, kisses all around, getting excited over ZOO BABIES and a ZOO CHOO train. But just because we show this side of him where he gets to go on a road trip and experience real and true fucking freedom for the first time, doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden shedding everything that we’ve built for his character. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but I mean it when I say we take the characters, the integrity of the characters, very, very seriously. Also in this chapter, Neil takes a homophobic asshole to task and not in the way that a lot of people do, but by quietly hinting at the threat because Neil doesn’t need bells and whistles. In fact, he even talked about how being happy was something his mother frowned upon: 

Because the way he looked at Neil when a butterfly landed on his finger or when he snuggled up to a goat in the petting zoo let Neil know that Andrew was happy. And he was happy.  That was something Neil never really had in his life. His mother didn’t care if he was happy, only that he was alive . In fact, the less happy he was, the fucking better. By her logic, he was less likely to go rogue if he didn't feel like there was something to be happy about outside of her. 

Neil’s finally had a moment to enjoy and let go and we know exactly how that can come off, but we have an entire future planned for them and the book they’re about to explore. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be all “butterflies and rainbows”. But all of this does not mean that all of a sudden we’re giving in to tropes and changing his character entirely because of one chapter. RRP and it’s characters mean too much to us. 

So I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’m so fucking sorry this is so long omfg. And I respect your view because we definitely worried that people would see them like that. But we have a reason for almost everything we do in this fic and really, we just wanted to see the boys happy here. We don’t believe he’s like Nicky and we don’t believe he’s clingy, but everyone interprets these characters differently, and you’re certainly entitled to that opinion. We hope this just makes our thought process on Neil’s development a little clearer. - The Creators

[blookmallow]

and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT

never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!

god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 

i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 

so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 

and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 

i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 

i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 

GOD FUCK

WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 

FEAR 

WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 

this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 

im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this

sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 

im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 

well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in

anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck

i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone

i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 

NEITHER WAS I 

b............beedle juice................

nice

i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 

“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 

GOD

DAMN IT 

none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.

I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 

but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 

FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 

i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 

for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from

big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 

YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg

anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say

i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 

also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 

i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those 

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Neil Perry and Candle :3

Neil Perry: if you could revive one character (in a book, movie, TV show, etc), who would it be? Kakyoin from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures. Lil cherry boy didnt deserve to die. Also Sirius Black from Harry Potter, he also also didn’t deserve to die. Him as well as Professor Lupin, he was the only decent professor, and didn’t tear the kids down. (im holding back so much I could go on for ages about why these 3 didnt deserve to perish)

Candle: if you could pick any time period to live in (for the aesthetic), what would it be? Either the Victorian era (fuck the regency era, i cant with the empire waistline), the 60′s (so i can chill but also fight for my rights and possible get arrested), or the 70′s (conversation pits and plants EVERYWHERE)

Victorian Era- clothing OBVIOUSLY. I want to wear a cravat and fucking cloaks and top hats n shit. It’s fun. Although I may or may not be in the fields working.

60′s- Honestly, it’s for the aesthetic AND the music. I enjoy looking back, but I feel like the 60′s would be pleasant enough. I mean yeah, Vietnam War. HOWEVER, i really want to go see some cool folx live, but also fight for my rights.

70′s- conversation pits once again. but also the aesthetic, y’know disco, bell bottoms, SO MUCH MUSIC. Elton John started in the 70′s QUEEN STARTED IN THE 70′S. FUCKING BOWIE. Ugh, I could melt. But I love me some houseplants, I really do. I have two cacti, but I crave more leafy children lmao.

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[hargroves-angel]

Cookies And Cream 🏹🍪

Chapter 7 - Eton mess

A/N - Angst ☹️ Sad Billy, Sad Reader ☹️. 

| Chapter 8  | Cookies And Cream Masterlist |

Billy didn’t sleep after that night. He couldn’t. He couldn’t come to terms with his feelings. He was certain that he had fallen in love with Y/N but at the same time he was afraid. He didnt want her to leave him, just like everyone else who claimed to have love him did.

She deserved better anyway. After all he was just a play boy. He liked sex and parties, he was like the devil compared to her. She baked cookies in her spare time for gods sake! Cookies... - another thing he couldn't even think about, everything all becoming too over whelming. 

Due to this Billy had been avoiding her all week. It hurt him so bad to do it but he just couldn’t let himself corrupt her, couldn't let her break his heart. 

He was terrified of love, one night stands and quick flings were something easy, no strings attached and no ‘feelings’. 

He watched her smile falter every time he drove past her. She waited everyday, for him to maybe change? He didn’t know why she waited... She shouldn’t wait. He's not coming back. And that's what he told her, yesterday in Science, after having avoided her gaze as he walked in, having sat two seats diagonaly from her, when her soft fingers lightly tapped his shoulder. A soft, beautiful, sickening smile on her face. 

It wasn’t a real smile, she had sad eyes, and that broke Billys heart.

“Hey...” She mumbled. Billy took a deep breath in and continued to look straight forwards. 

“What?” he grumbled. 

“Im sorry about that night...” She sniffed. She thought it was her fault, she thought she was the problem. She always put Billy first.

“Good... it was a one time thing anyway so whatever” He snapped, she mumbled a quick “oh” Billy walked out of the room. He heard the various girls running to her. He heard her soft, small sobs, each one breaking his heart. He didnt show it. He never showed his pain... she was the one person who knew what he was going through and he couldn’t come to terms with any of it. 

He skipped the rest of school after that, chain smoking on the swing set he took Y/N to on their tour. He watched the sun set, his heart aching. Is this what love felt like? Is this what heartbreak was? Or was he just being a pussy. Love isn’t even real anyway... it usually fades. 

He drove home, his face looking unfazed, he'd become so used to hiding that kind of stuff. Neil yelled at him, a usual slap across his face. Billy felt numb. He wanted to run back to her... hold her precious little body against his, lay soft kisses on her head... hear her sweet little whimpers.

‘Back to sex again... fucking piece of shit’ Billy thought to himself. He huffed, glancing at the window. He saw Y/N, she was perched on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands.

She was so beautiful, a goddess of a woman. It had been weeks. 3 weeks to be exact, since that night. She’d changed the bed sheets, that soft, silky pink sheet was no longer. Replaced with a pretty baby blue one.

She looked up. Billy looked at her with pleading eyes, he smiled at her. He hated himself for doing so, but he ignored every single small voice yelling at him to smile at her. Telling him he wasn’t good enough, telling him that she wasn’t good enough, telling him to go back to the parties and sex stuff.

It was a smile filled with genuine sorrow and sadness, his eyes reflecting every guilt inside of him.

She looked him in the eyes, she stood up, her silk, white nightie falling just over her knees. She looked so elegant. She stood at the window for just a moment. Taking in a deep breath.

She shut the curtains. She shut him out, just liked her done to her.

Billy felt the tears run. He felt them roll down his cheeks. He felt the hotness of them fall.

He sucked in a deep breath but ended up sobbing. He cried and cried for hours. A silent weep, so that no one could hear him.

He felt so alone. He knew that he had made himself feel like that. He was the one who disappointed her. For what?

For his stupid ego, for those tiny voices in his head that told him she wasn’t what he wanted, he wasn’t what she wanted... everything.

He needed her, he loved her.

“I love you” he whispered into the darkness of his room, he wanted her to wrap her arms around him, pull herself closer to his chest and nuzzle into him, whispering an “I love you” back. But she wasn’t there.

He sobbed into a pillow, it being the only comfort. He ended up falling asleep, cradling the pillow to his chest like he’d done to her a few weeks ago.

He dreamt of her all night, he had to get her back.

Fuck his ego, fuck all this shit about sex, and fuck everything telling him she wasn’t good enough.

He had to get her back.

[gideonthe9]

people out here really tweeting laura bailey like "did you have mocap sex with neil druckmann" like dudes, you can dislike a character and dislike a story but you dont have any right to create fake tweets and harass voice actors for this shit. when people have to go on record and say "no i didnt have sex with the director of the game, no that character isnt a self-insert for said director" and they're still getting death threats? yall its too much

oh so that was that tweet of laura about??

i dont get why anyone would send hate to the va’s, theyre fuckin human beings and deserve respect. if you dont like the game then thats too bad but it doesnt give you any right to harass people about it

some people really never learned some basic human decency apparently