#you and neil didnt deserve any of it

[yourfavvgal]

reminding myself that todd never got to say goodbye to neil, he just watched him leave in the car without saying goodbye

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TGR CHAPTER 7 THOUGHTS

- oh! possible implication that laila has been assaulted before and that’s why she was so quick to realise what grayson did to jean :(

- jean working so hard not to give into the aggressive tendencies he learnt at the nest (slapping someone for not getting a drill right) he’s trying sooo hard he’s healing slowly but surely :(

- i think i said this when i was reading tsc but jean and aaron both sitting in silence during their therapy sessions with bee is so funny to me they r so similar but they hate each other

jean, aaron and neil could be the funniest, meanest and strongest friend dynamic if only they would all get over their disdain for each other long enough to realise they are all the same

- jean keeping his wristband on from the 4th of july party is so cute he had such a good time

- AARONS TRIAL IS HERE

- “Andrew threw it halfway across the street, and the look on his face said he had every intention of sending the journalist after it.” my shaylaaaaaaaa god i know this is kinda funny but it’s just so fucking devastating that he is about to have all of his trauma put on the stand for everyone to see and tear apart and make comments on just so his brother can be found not guilty

- WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN KEVIN AND ANDREW

- the guards having to physically move nicky away from fighting with his parents :(

- god laila i love u sm

laila brushing jeans hair while jean gives commentary on the match is so wholesome, giving each other comfort and a distraction to ground them

- FUCK YEAH AARON CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES MOTHERFUCKERRRRR

- “Andrew would have burned the judge’s house to the ground if he turned on Aaron. Maybe he knew that?” THIS IS SOOOOOO !!!! ANDREW LOVES AARON ALSO KEVIN CRACKING JONES

- kev complaining about the fact that mack cancelled practise is so funny to me

- as much as i say i would want to be friends with jean, i fear that (like andrew) he would actually hate me and be so mean to be and i probably would cry

- “They are scared of us,” Kevin noted. ​Kevin agreed, then: the cars were an attempt to buy the perfect Court’s discretion. “Should they be?” ​Kevin took his time responding, and then just sent, “Remains to be seen.” OH KEVIN I LOVE U U R SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE RAVENS U DESERVE TO TELL UR TRUTH

- 🤞🕯️manifesting andrew (and possibly neil) travel with kevin for the interview🕯️🤞 im begging for any crumbs of my faves

CHAPTER EIGHT

- kevin day jeremy knox friendship is so fucking wholesome,, jeremy just wants to give kev a tour of LA!!!

- YESSSS ANDREW IS HERE IM FUCKING SCREAMING THANK U NORA I NEEDED THIS IM ACTUALLY GRINNING AND KICKING MY LEGS RN CANT WAIT TO SEE SOME KEV/ANDREW AND ANDREW AND JEAN BANTER

- “Vodka, generally,” Kevin said, “but I can work with beer.” i snorted

- idk kevin and andrew sharing a suitcase is adorable to me

- “Dreadful as always,” was the sour response. “But they are twice as worthless off the court as they are on it, so I will suffer them for two more years.” oh kevin u love them really

- “Only if Neil develops a tolerable personality,” Kevin said when Jeremy asked, and Jeremy tried to pass a laugh as a cough. — again, kevin u love him really

- NEIL U LITTLE SNEAK LMAOOOOO JEREMY ACIDENTALLY PUTTING HIS FOOT IN IT BY SAYING HES SHOCKED NEIL DIDNT COME TO VISIT JEAN AGAIN

- oh god i forgot about andrew and california and it’s literally two weeks post trial jesus christ

- JEREMY RECOGNISING JEANS ATTRACTION/CRUSH ON KEVIN???

- “He will be Court,” Jean said. ​“So will you,” Kevin said. !!!!! AHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!

- laila wanting to talk to andrew coz he’s such a good goalkeeper is cuteeee

- completely unrelated side note, i’m currently in the middle of the chapter but my favourite reality tv show is on (married at first sight australia) and unfortunately i am unable to multitask

- “before Jean sent Kevin a sullen look and said, “Jeremy is studying for law school.” ​Kevin’s jaw dropped. “No.” ​He rounded on Jeremy,”

jean and kevin ganging up and taking the piss out of jeremy is hilarious

- JEAN DESERVES PEACE!!!!

- i’m now watching how to get away with murder aka my current hyperfixation, sorry tgr!! ur in the back burner for a sec

- ok we’re back!!

“I have no reason to fight,” Kevin said. “Everything I want and need still lies ahead of me; it is a waste of time to look back so long as that holds true.” THIS IS SOOOO DEVASTATING

and then he says

All I want in life is to play the perfect game.” After a beat he added, “And to know why you are applying to law school.

- kevin really does profess his love for his friends by telling them they deserve to play Court with him

- “Thank you. You’re a good friend, Kevin. I hope you know that.” ​“He and I are not friends.” ​“But you’re mine,” Jeremy said, and said again, “Thank you.” yeah this just stabbed me and kissed me lightly on the forehead at the same time

CHAPTER NINE

- “It’s in my contract,” Jean finally said, because what else could he do but bite his tongue and bow his head? “I agreed I wouldn’t misrepresent the Trojans in public. I will behave.” oh jean but you’ve been forced to do that your whole life :(

- i really enjoy how nora has written jean’s ability to speak english, she doesn’t gloss over the fact that he moved to america and was forced to learn and use the language with very little prior knowledge of it, or forget that plotline entirely and make him unreasonably fluent but rather there are words he doesn’t recognise or know how to pronounce, he falters at reading english even though he can speak it and he sometimes needs help with translating

- “ In quiet French he said, “I should not be here for this.” ​Kevin put his hand over Jean’s to hide the half-moon marks Jean was tearing into his skin. “Stay with me,” Kevin said, just as soft, and Jean forcibly relaxed his death grip.” IM CRYING THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO COMPLEX

- “I would prefer not to entertain such hypotheticals. I know it’s not your intention, but it puts the burden of his death on us: the Foxes for their spectacular victory or Andrew for doing what was necessary to save Neil’s life. And I will not argue on that last point,” KEVIN DAY GROWS A SPINE SO HE CAN DEFEND HIS TEAM HIS FAMILY HIS BEST FRIENDS

-“I grieve him, but I reserve my outrage for the system that led him to his death. You do not understand what it is like to be a Raven: the unrelenting pressure to perform to perfection, the suffocating legacy that weighs down your every move. It is that environment which cost Riko his life, as it did so many other Ravens this summer.”

“I’m sorry; it’s just an unexpected line of questioning. You’re the last person I expected to buy into the Ravens’ sensationalism, especially seeing how you’ve covered the Trojans for the last six years. USC’s endorsement should be more than enough to settle the debate, I would think.”

“The Ravens are out of line, and I am out of patience with their tedious antics. They should spend less time dragging Jean through the mud and more time rebuilding their nonexistent defense line. They’ve lost their major players,” he insisted. “Zane graduated, Jean transferred, and Grayson…” ​Kevin didn’t bother to finish that thought but gave a slight what can you do wave of his hand. Letting a camera see this heartless side of him was unprecedented; “

KEVIN DAY V INTERVIEWS

2 | 0

he is bolddddd tn we love to see it

(he learnt his mouthiness from neil aka king of interviews)

- i have to say, if there’s anything i take away from these books it’s a reminder that parasocialism and hero worship of celebrities/powerful famous people will end badly and always make u look a fool for defending someone who will never know u exist in spite of their horrible actions. i never want to be one of those dick riding diehard raven fans who chooses to look past all of the incredibly obvious warning signs

- OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT WTFJEANS PARENTS WERE ARRESTED OMFG NEIL WAS THIS UR DOING

- andrew asking jean if grayson ever touched neil :/

- oh riko u absolute sick fuck u fucking freak i hate u sm im so glad ur dead

- ANDREW ASKING “Spoil the surprise for me. Did Neil kill Johnson while he was in town?” IM GIGGLING IM SORRY HE KNOWS HIM TOOOO WELL

- “fair-haired rat” ANDREW IS COPPING TOO MANY STRAYS FRIM JEAN THIS CHAPTER FIRST JEAN CALLS HIM TINY NOW THIS

- “You are an idiot,” Jean accused him. “You were barely fast enough to save him last time. The next time someone takes a swing at him, you and your brisket lungs will have to watch him die. I wouldn’t have given him to you if I’d known you would just throw him away so carelessly.” BRISKET LUNGS TOOK ME OUT OMFG JEAN U LOVE NEIL U CANNOT HIDE THE FACT THAT U GUYS ARE BESTIES FROM ME UR SO CONCERNED FROM HIS SAFETY AND U KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO NEEDLE ANDREW

- “Our damage control needs damage control. I will never do an interview again.” ​“Don’t lie. You like the sound of your voice too much to give this up.” ​Kevin conceded with a light shrug. “

yeah actually they are so brothers coded

[scapegoated-if]

you STILL love leon after chapter 1?!...

....what, like it's hard? (i'M KIDDING)

i get this reply is largely a joke. but also i want to babble to you about your own character LMAO

but seriously: yes. and im not even the person from the Ask this quote is from, so that is twoooooo people who still love leon

did i get annoyed for him being hypocritical? yeeesss, but we got to be sassy back and he took it on the chin. good man

but also? he stayed the whole time to make sure the MC was okay. him and shiloh doing that meant a lot to me. (which is why i do a lil wish we could be angrier at vince in a romance, bc i played it platonically and romantically and i think platonic had closer to the anger and hurt my MC felt? but im fine, the romance variation of the scenes was still fire)

plus, him calling dibs for vince for the telegram? so cute. i loved that (anD VINCE WANTING TO THANK HIM, AH)

leon also admitted to not hating vince back. he urged that vince is not replacable. i like how he praised MC too (i would have also praised shiloh myself but leon went for comedy and i respect that)

i like that he got mad in the mc's name about the higher-ups. that felt deserved

i diD NOT LIKE THE POSSIBLE FORESHADOW OF LEON GETTING BAD LUCK MAYBE, YOU KNOW, WITH THAT UMBRELLA. NO MURDERING, NO OUTTING, HE'S JUST A BOY (/tone indicator - i am being overdramatic for comedic effect, do what you want lol)

the 30 min wait was alright all things considered. we were entertained. he was busy getting busy. he got back on work. he tolerated the reprimanded sass. esp if the MC chose to be "brazen", which was my favorite variation of those possible scenes lol

he stayed in contact with the mc arguably the most. if you let neil in your house, you dont get that cute phonecall with shiloh. so, leon is kind of the most consistent person as a result in making the MC a priority regardless of player-choice. i really like that. i wish we got more shiloh, ngl, shiloh's phonecall is the sole reason i am tempted to take neil to the tellphone booth. but even then, im a lil sad shiloh calls vincent so much more often than the MC. i am envious in my MC's name for more shiloh attention. and also more leon, always more leon, but also, again, he is the most consistent so far with how much he contacts the MC and that CAN put leon on top as "in contact the most with the MC" over shiloh (depending on MC choices), and that does deserve praise in my book

i also like that he implicitly trusts the MC so much. with french-MC loaning him a book, or any MCs who fix his eyeliner, or even MCs who walk in on him getting "centered" (he's not worried about getting outted! he knows MC is safe). he's just chill and implicitly trusts those kind of MCs. that is endearing

so like?? none of chapter 1 changed my opinion of leon in any permanent way, i still love the guy

i also love how he threw back "you two sure look cosy" if you said it at him and kai/kaya

though the way he blew up like "a kettle" (i think that was the word used?) over MC and kai/kaya dida make me wonder if he is possessive platonically or romantically of the MC and/or kai/kaya. since he was okay with leaving them alone at the party and claimed not to know kai/kaya that well at the time, i assume any hypothetical possessiveness at that moment was of the MC when i played that moment? idk. but i wasnt mad at it. he got sassily reprimanded for being a brat. its fine

but ngl.... chapter 1 makes me think maybe leon may have had a crush on vince?? like. wanted to impress vince but ended up coming off as too arrogantly pretentious for vincent to see this as flirty (also i wouldnt be surprised if vince just... was dense and didnt realize leon liked guys at all)... also a part of me will very likely always be team leon × my specific MC, esp since you confirmed leon is attracted to all genders. but also my MC is romancing vince, so i do fully ship a little challengers (2024) moment happening, where leon has a crush on both but feels like he cant have either of them. besides, im no stranger to enjoying some, what the kiddos call, "toxic yaoi". or "doomed yaoi". idk. i enjoy that, if leon has a crush on vince, that leon is suffering is my point lol i like tragic romances/crushes. but ill probably build an AU in my head of leon×MC×vince being a happy poly-throuple as MC has two boyfriends trying to frantically make sure she doesnt get murdered

but yeah, [in the tone of the "i get it, youre all without fathers"/"not me. i fucking love my dad" meme:] i fucking love leon. he may have some hypocritical moments, but he's my lil wet meowmeow of a hypocrite. chapter 1 just gave ne new material, it didnt change a good damn thing for me lol

I have nothing to reply to and nothing at all to add, but I couldn't be the only one--other than the anon who wrote this--to read this. I love this anon so much

[4phr0d17e]

ok now that ive finished it heres my tgr thoughts

ok lets start with the bits i loved:

i almost screamed when we saw andrew and kevin on page and the fact that neil didnt tell either of them he was going to california AND that they instantly knew that he was behind graysons death. DELICIOUS. tbh every time any of the foxes were on page i was smiling so big

the ravens getting suspended so early??? INSANE choice that i dont think any of us saw coming, like in the last 10 years of fic we always had a crazy trojans-ravens rematch. i cant deny i was dying to see the trojans wipe the floor with the ravens like they deserve to but at least this way jean never has to visit evermore again😍😍😍 that whole scene was truly incredible though like dan tackling someone to protect kevin??? the fact it took multiple people to pull andrew off the raven who hurt neil???? the fact that matt and aaron INSTANTLY went for the ravens who attacked andrew??? NEILS BROKEN RIBS??? that last part is 100% gonna come up again, idr who knows about it but as soon as one of the trojans connects jeans broken ribs to neils theyre gonna know exactly how jean was injured

also the scene with jean having his breakdown in front of rhemann almost brought me to tears ... "fathers" 😭😭😭

OHHHH how could i forget, when jean throws bryson into lailas car!!!!!! what a fucking MOMENT jean moreau u will always be famous. and in the same vein the game where he says to his mark in french "you should be glad they have be on a leash" LOVE IT. character capable of insane violence just barely being held in check MWAH

and then the bit where hes teaching the freshman drills and he automatically raises his hand to strike them and then just bolts in the opposite direction😭😭 jean my baby i would love to know what was going on in his head at that point

its also very interesting how neils plan of "tell the fbi abt his father but nothing about the moriyamas" seems to be .... disintegrating ... the fact that so many outsiders are aware of something being super sus, what was that line? something like "how come two major crime lords got their sons into class 1 exy?" my prediction for book 3 is another ichirou appearance. idk what the fuck hes gonna do but hes gonna do something im so sure of it

this was only briefly touched on but jean getting to play without being injured .. my personal headcanon has always been that even though jean is already an incredible player hes actually better than anyone could have imagined bc hes always had to play through injuries, and that when he fully recovers hes simply unbeatable

also the whole "exy is not fun" exchange was so interesting ... makes me wonder if somehow jean will get a future where he doesnt have to play exy ......

ok now to my critiques. disclaimer that all of this is said with love and i will follow noras characters to the end of the fucking earth

but WHAT is up with the pacing?? in the original trilogy each book took place over ~3 months or so but in 2 books we havent even gotten to halloween?? how will we make it to finals in the last book??? either the last book will be a chonker or we will finally start getting small timeskips, tbh tho both are good options

i wanted so much more exy than we got, the practise scenes were amazing with jean doing his whole "just call me and you will recieve the ball exactly how you need it" AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE but then during the games the pov is so checked out .. i understand the narration will never be the same as neils but like, during the second on page game it wasnt even stated who was winning until the end???? i ws literally reading like COME ON GUYS PAY ATTENTION PLS

also this isnt a big deal but i cant be the only one who noticed the epithets💀 "the frenchman" "the grey-eyed backliner" nora come off ittttt just say his name!!!!!!!

anyway in conclusion: cannot wait for book 3. thank u nora for my life. if any of my aftg mutuals want to hop in my dms PLS feel free im clawing the walls over here

[rigginsstreet]

Lmao Billy antis are wild.. there are so many characters who do way worse but because Billy ~grabbed Max's arm and made a passing racist comment that was definitely a repeat from his dad~ he's the worst person ever.. like he couldn't possibly grow and change his perspective 🙄 there are literal intentional murderers and abusers on the show. Leave my boy alone. He is an asshole but everyone around him sucks so he deserves to be, as a treat 😘

its not like billy didnt do bad things that warrant people not liking him

its the hypocrisy that dissolves any argument antis have

first of all yall did not (and do not) give a FUCK about lucas until its a convenient way to put billy and his fans down. caleb was facing racism in this fandom long before billy came along and yall were silent. so spare me the faux outrage. lucas was never given the attention the other characters were back in season 1. do not sit here and tell me you suddenly care so deeply about racism i am not a fool go try that with someone with less intelligence.

second of all, where is this energy for karen wheeler? where is this energy for henry creel? where is this energy for brenner? for neil hargrove? where is it? cuz yall are damn fine sitting around talking about what a milf karen is and yet she fully flirted with a teenager. but that teenager is an evil racist so it doesnt count right? he's allowed to be sexually preyed upon but adults right?

hell jason carver had open sympathizers yall dont argue about and his character had FAR more racist undertones but because he didnt like come out and say the n word yall can gloss over it and excuse it away with "oh no thats not what he meant..." like thats crazy to me.

if you wanna hate billy then by all means hate him. but keep that energy for everyone else otherwise it means nothing

[flower-zombie-rob]

holy shit don't leave author's asks like that, that's seriously not cool??? like that was an absolutely unhinged 4chan-esque violent comment for what- leaving an emotional cliffhanger? No one deserves that kind of behaviour. for real, please don't, not even as a joke.

I hope you feel better soon if the ending made u so raw, but don't take it on others fam.

I was kidding. Im littlerally someone on the internet who was kidding. I didbt mean it in any capacity to be harmful it was jusg a joke its the kind of thing that i didnt ever want anyone to take seriously im really sorry please just leave me alone thats not tbe kibd of eay id ever behave to anyone.

I meant it in a joking way and im so sorry to people who took it seriously, thafs not how i intended it i meant it as one of those meme cursed kibd of interractions i would never wish any kind of violence or harm towards snyone. Neil gaimans one of my favourite authors and i adore his work and im so sorry if that in any way caused any kind of harm i didnt mean it please. I want to delete it so badly because i cant tell if it was taken as a joke and now im freaking out im so sorry please it was a huge mistake and i dont know what to do i didnt even think the ask sent at all when i first sent it, i thought i didnt hit send and i would never wish malice or bad intent on another person i think thats utterly disgusting and if i could take it back i would in a heartbeat

[cogneartive]

birth of manassas: the bible

hidden under readmore - an uncovered stone tablet.

excerpt: GRAHAM, CROZ AND NEIL ALL TOOK A LOOK AT EACH OTHER'S ESTROGEN SHOTS AND LOOKED AT STEPHEN. WAS HE NOT LIKE A BABY BUTCH OR SOMETHING?

STEPHEN ARTHUR STILLS BORN JANUARY 3 1945 WAS BALD BLONDING AND AUTISTIC HE WAS A GREAT COOK ACCORDING TO HIS BANDMATES AND HE WAS A MAMA'S BOY! GRAHAM ONCE SAID: this guy. welp. hes got like a mental illness or something AND HE HIT NEIL YOUNG IN THE FACE. ONCE UPON A TIME HE WAS IN A CAR AND HE MET NEIL YOUNG. HE SAID TO NEIL "YOU COULDA BEEN SAVED BY ESTROGEN" BUT ALAS NEIL SAID "im canadian now. and emo too" AND STEPHEN WAILED. BUT BEFORE THAT HE WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH PETER TORK JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOKED ALIKE. THEY WERE INDEED SISTERS BY CHANCE FRIENDS BY CHOICE. STEPHEN SAID "hey the monkees. you know the monkees? you could be the monkees. -im kinda ugly-" AND PETER TORK SAID "ok! ill be the monkees (i hate the monkees later on). LATER ON NEIL AND STEPHEN HATED EACH OTHER. NEIL SAID "i have epilepsy" AND STEPHEN SAID "aww gee emma lepsy? whos that? her ass jiggle good or no?" AND NEIL HAD A SEIZURE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. THIS WENT ON FOR MANY YEARS UNTIL HE MET THE CROSBY. HE HATED CROSBY. HE HATED CROSBY ALOT. BUT IT DIDNT MATTER CUS HE WAS FAT AND FUNNY. CROSBY SAID "i dont like this guy" AND BANDMATE CHRIS SAID "hey. you know i was writing something on my wrist and it came up on his wrist. i think we might be soulmates" AND HIS BANDMATE ROGER SAID "IRRELEVANT. I HATE HIS AUTISTIC ASS"

AND STEPHEN SAID. "hey. i fucking hate my band. they fucking broke up. hey crosby. join a band with me" AND CROZ SAID "ok. im a weed smoker and womaniser. but we need another woman in this band" AND STEPHEN SAID "hey. they arent any women in this band." THEN GRAHAM NASH ARRIVED. HE HAD JUST BEEN DIVORCED FROM ALLAN CLARKE. IT HAD BEEN A RAW AND NASTY DIVORCE BUT IT WAS ALRIGHT. HE TOOK ONE GOOD LOOK AT CROSBY: "oh great googly moogly! that orange bitch is kind of hot in a thick mama way." HE WENT OVER TO CROSBY AND HIS CHIHUAHUA STEPHEN STILLS AND SAID "hey. youre cool. whats your name. Oh kaff kaff im scik im goigntodie" AND CROSBY SAID "lets form a band! btw i think joni mitchell may be impregnanting you in the next few years." AND GRAHAM SAID "WHAT!" SOONER OR LATER JONI MITCHELL WOULD PUT HER HAND IN STEPHEN'S HAIR AND SAY "hey youre hair is nice and soft. very thin. oh hey that british boy looks kind of impregnatable. can i have a try?" AND CROSBY SAID "oh yes please do its kind of kinky" SOON: GRAHAM WAS PREGNANT. BUT THAT DIDNT MATTER

LATER: NEIL YOUNG WAS FORCED TO JOIN A BAND. NEIL SAID: "oh lordy lordy eh a band full of women eh this isnt going to end well eh. has a seizure" AND STEPHEN SAID "hey they arent any women in this band." GRAHAM, CROZ AND NEIL ALL TOOK A LOOK AT EACH OTHER'S ESTROGEN SHOTS AND LOOKED AT STEPHEN. WAS HE NOT LIKE A BABY BUTCH OR SOMETHING? LATER ON STEPHEN SAID "hey graham i think you have my girlfriend. hey graham. graham graham awwww whatever spits on you spits on you spits on you spits on you spits" AND ALL GRAHAM DID WAS SHRIEK AT HIM AND HIT HIM WITH A BUNCH OF CHAIRS. THEN CSNY DISBANDED FOR A BIT. AS USUAL. STEPHEN SAID TO CHRIS: "hey buddy. i think you deserve a little bit of that mandolin magic baby boy. baby. hey youre kind of a baby butch to me in a way." AND CHRIS SAID: "hey but there arent any women in this band. eh? band? thats weird. im part of no band." AND STEPHEN SAID: "boy you gotta join my band. they call me captain many hands they do. you can be my second hand man. my lieutenant. sleep in my mansion. sleep in the army beds. were you there in vietnam? I was" AND SO MANASSAS WAS BORN

[dirtyvulture]

I have read the little “ dear diary” story for the darkest knight universe and it was AMAZING like always!!!!!! It was sooo fluffy, cute and wholesome ( the domestic bliss and life that BOTH Nat wolverine DESERVES and the two of them interacting with R’s kids * cough Nat’s step kids cough * ……. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) . But let’s NOT FORGET about the SMUT , the god of lust has DELIVERED yet again !!!!!!!!

Now I haven’t had many thoughts on either the DK or SB universe ( I have been talking to a friend ABOUT about the DK series but I digress) but I might have a few little things for both universes . Both are things that happen to me that sparked the thoughts . So last night I DIDNT SLEEP ( I might have slept and dreamt a little but not much ) and a couple of days ( maybe even a week ago I had a nightmare at like 3 in the morning and DIDNT sleep again that night. I also live with my family so I was devastating trying to be quiet so I didn’t wake them up. I also just did a cleaning day at work ( I work at a fast food place , I work four hour shifts. Literally spent 2 hours just cleaning the back of the store and then the next 2 hours doing my “ normal” tasks for work). So my thoughts are just going to be SB and Wolvie dealing with being unable to sleep and trying not to be disruptive to the people around them. Them also just doing a cleaning day ( it is the time for spring cleaning after all) .

In the DK universe we have already seen a bit with the aspect of Wolvie trying not to wake the people up around them ( She was trying to be as quiet as possible ……. but with 200 pounds of metal in her body….. THAT IS HARD TO DO) and went to the balcony . There is a very interesting history fact that can also tie into Wolvie’s sleeping habits but I wouldn’t go into it now because I don’t want to make this too long or bore anyone with something they don’t want to know ( if you want to hear about it then I will be more the happy to teach you) but it does contextualize some things in this aspect of Wolvie’s life and sleeping habits ( or lack there of) . I think Wolvie would go to the balcony and do some stargazeing , go to the kitchen ( get something to eat or drink) , common rooms ( probably to do some reading ) or go to the doom rooms and do a workout. Just SOMETHING to pass the time when R KNOWS she isn’t going to get any sleep but not wake or disturb the rest of the mansion.

For Spring cleaning (or just cleaning in general) I think that BOTH listen to music while doing tasks like that ( my Managers are really cool and but on music while everyone works, it helps past the time and makes tasks a bit more fun) . R has lived a LONG time so she has seen music and the music industry grow, change and evolve …… meaning she has VAST range of musical tastes and likes. I think when R is cleaning she listens more to the “ oldies” : Frank Sinatra , Johnny Cash , Neil Diamond . SB also has a WIDE range of musical tastes and genres ( nowhere NEAR Wolverine R but then again , Wolverine R is VERY OLD and SB is a BABY compared to Wolvie …… EVERYONE is ). I think that SB would just have something like pandora, Spotify , etc and just leave it on random or shuffle ( no real set play list at all) .

In SB universe …….. SB is just SHIT OUT OF LUCK , for many reasons. One the living space isn’t as big as the Mansion ( none would be ) , two Nat is a VERY light sleeper ( BOTH Nat’s are) ….. the way that Nat and SB sleep ( Nat ontop of SB , Nat being big spoon or occasionally little spoon. Bottom line it’s in a way that they aren’t apart and there is no way that SB could move around or leave the bed Without WAKING Nat up)…. Yeah the poor golden is SHIT OUT OF LUCK. They are just STUCK in bed until the morning and until Nat wakes up.

Before anyone tells me “ Wolverine would have to deal with Nat ( who like mentioned before is a light sleeper and both Wolvie and Nat sleep in a the same way that SB and Nat does EXPECT Wolverine R is the one that is mostly the big spoon and occasionally the little spoon) AND Jean ( because she can sense R’s restless mind and thoughts) .” I know !!!!!

Hope everyone has a nice Spring cleaning and sleep much better than I did ( also that you all have pleasant dreams with no nightmares) !!!!!! Happy Spring EVERYONE!!!!!

I am so so glad you enjoyed it! :) I was really excited to get to write a more happy and domestic fic (since no promises the next one will be 😄), but yes this is everything Nat has always deserved, I'm happy she gets to enjoy it for a little bit.

It has been a long time since you shared your thoughts, they are always welcomed here.

I am sorry you were not able to sleep much, but that is definitely a shared trait of Wolvie!R's lol. We've seen in the first fic already that Wolvie does have trouble sleeping and she likes to go stand on the balcony to look at the stars.

R definitely loves almost all kinds of music. While SB has no real preference for music and just lets Nat pick whatever they should listen to at any given moment. :)

(I also think SB is hardly the big spoon for Sergeant Romanoff...maybe on a rare night once in a blue moon.) But SB probably just lies there under Nat and strokes her hair while they think about whatever is bothering them.

Nat is probably used to Wolvie getting up and going around, sometimes she joins and sometimes she doesn't. (But if Jean is up and trying to follow R, you bet Nat is going to make sure Jean doesn't try anything.)

Welcome back, friend!

[sophie-jane-silver]

Didnt finish watching last night (i will today), but I wrote so much so im just gonna post what i have already

Cameron holding TREDITION, neil holding EXCELLENCE

When keating is introduced and everybody's looking, neil and mr. Perry are looking as well, and when mr. Perry notices that neil's trying to look he shoots him this gaze and neil looks away (hope i make any sense here)

Todd looking uncomfortable (id literally cry if i was there)

"He wont disappoint us" he died before the end of the year

This moment cameron was at the door and todd walked in and it was awkward (id cry, im not kidding)

Every time neil smiles (hes so pretty i wanna cry) (i feel like theres a pattern)

"Hes your roommate" "thats not my fault!"

Neil's voice breaking when mr. Perry walkes into the room (i wanna punch this monster)

Every time neil doesn't smile (i love him so much he deserves the world)

"You know how much this means to your mother"

"It couldn't get any worse" but then it did???

Charlie and knox trying to comfort neil

Hager's class, like, id be terrified wtf

Neil perry

Keating (more like robin williams)

To the virgins make much of time

Neil's guilty look when keating's talking about death

How gay amd doomed anderperry are

When i remember they cut the knox fake proposing to pitts😔

Every time knox is talking about chris (especially in the book tho)

Whenever someone calls neil "mr. Perry"

Neil with glasses (i wanna kiss him platonically)

Cameron ripping the page using a ruler

McKeating (theyre so gay i cant-)

Keating's monologue

"What's the dead poets society?"

Everything about neil

"Then don't come, please" (literally my worst nightmare)

Their hands are so small wtf

Neil's huge brown eyes

"Gosh you really have a problem with that dont you?" (Ugh I love him)

How obsessed neil is with todd

Cameron's little thumbs up

The fact i cant reach out and brush the hair off of neil's forehead

How happy they all were

That moment the subtitles said knox was talking but it was cameron😔 ("on the mud?" First dps meeting)

How meeks and pitts are fighting to keep their hands together

"But of course my father wouldn't let me"

"I can take care of myself just fine, alright?" "No"

When neil stole todd's notebook he started reading the poem. "Im dreaming-". Thats the poem todd read in the cut scene

They have really fancy trousers im so jealous😭

Neil writing the letter

How fucking esthetic this movie is

How hopkins made fun of keating's classes and still stood up on the desk

The fact that the way neil is looking at todd after the yawp scene is Canon to the book???

Todd jumping into neil's arms

Neil ruffling charlie's hair

Cameron sitting above the others

How impressed they all look when charlie plays the saxophone🥹🥹

"Carpe diem, even if it kills me" THE WAY NEIL AND TODD ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

The way neil is holding his copy of the play (CRIME. JAIL TIME)

On the scene of todd's birthday, todd constantly looks like he thinks "STOP OVERSHERING", and neil looks like he thinks "youre being dramatic, he has it worse than you do"

"Oh my..."

Charlie trying to hold tears after getting punished

"But I thought youd like that🥺"

I had a horrible day so im rewatching dps and writing down every moment that hurts my soul

[yourfavvgal]

reminding myself that todd never got to say goodbye to neil, he just watched him leave in the car without saying goodbye

[mockingbirdshymn]

rating camp camp pairings

because i ran out of ideas for posts and saw someone else do this a few years ago so swoop the idea is mine now

nerriston - 10000000/10

i love them. ok. i really do theyre super cool. it make sense like. they have a perfect dynamic. theyre cute. we have magician who has anxiety, cocky loud theatre kid who does not give a shit, and short dnd nerd who would beat your ass and probably carries in all the groceries at once. LIKE. its perfect. it literally is the best

im equally as loving of presner/harriston/nerrison but nerriston is my main otp

presnurf - fuck you/10

hacks gags dies

presmax - 1/10

personally i dont see this? and its not because they havent interacted, mostly because their personalities don't mesh well imo? not to say that opposites don't attract, thats the building ground for so many good ships, but with them its just. kind of just pure annoyance any time they interact. and unlike nerrison, it's not a continuing thing that makes it a rivalry and has layers to it (ex. background interactions, like at the lake lilac summer social), with max and preston its just general annoyance any time they bump into each other.

plus i hc preston to be 14 and max is canonically 10 and while my headcanons arent canon, that interpretation of mine makes it a very much no go for me

neil x harrison - 3/10

not for me, but i can 100% see it

again though, i hc harrison to be 14 and neil is canonically 11, so,,, another dealbreaker for my bc of this headcanon

nerikki - 3/10

definitely compatible, and if it werent for the fact i have a sturdy hc on cc campers' ages, i feel i could like it?

but 14yo x 10yo is a big nono for me

ered x nikki - 1/10

for me it feels like nikki has a crush on ered in the same way kids tend to have crushes and idolize people older than them. like how someone may like their friend's way older brother, even though hes like 6 years older, but it dies out once they mature and stop idolizing him.

ered is either 15 or 16 in my headcanons, and nikki is canonically 10, so,, nikki can have a crush on ered in the same way kids have crushes on celebrities, but for ered to act on that would be very very bad

ered x nerris - 6/10

can see it, not my favorite, but i can definitely enjoy content from it (like fanart or fics) if its not the main focus.

ered x dolph - 1/10

sir, dolph is like literally the youngest. ered is the oldest pls stop (ik the eggs benefits episode was what started a lot of ships but. but cmon)

honestly though i rlly like the idea of them as older sister younger brother type of dynamic, tho ive not seen many people hc that if any

space kid x dolph - 8/10

i like them as friends more but i can definitely see it and enjoy it!! either romantic or platonic, i really love their (imagined bc they never interact lmfao) dynamic, and theyd mesh together very well personality-wise. both are clueless (dolph because he doesnt pick up on things well/holds a very positive view on everything, and space kid because his brain is like a pinball machine), and both have no friends/are generally excluded from everyone else due to their differences.

makki - 9/10

at first didnt like it at all, i like it now though!! dont have much of a reason for this, just think it's cute. angsty boy and feral girl. max would be moping and nikki would bring him a cool rock and he would not understand why but keep it anyway

maxneil - 10/10

"mandatory gay pairing for every main characters" is what someone from a random youtube video from like 4 years ago would say

though i rlly like it. guy who doesnt care at all and guy who overexplains absolutely everything/cares too much. max would ask a retoric question and neil would go into a ramble. max annoying the absolute shit out of neil and neil just. loudly sighing

neil x nikki - 1/10

i headcanon them as stepsiblings after parents day!! before i used to like it, but the fact their parents boned and nikki discussed being siblings killed that for me

nurf x a cactus - 10/10

he deserves to be prickled

neil x tabii - 1/10

i dont like fics where they're together as adults if im honest. as much as i adore tabii, her borderline obsession with neil makes him uncomfortble and i dont think it'd really be healthy at all. hes made it clear he doesnt like her

max x sasha - 7/10

can def see it! two bitchy assholes, though i dont like the idea all too much. would need someone else in the relationship to balance it out, or else its just kind of two dicks doing back and forth

pikeman x sasha - 8/10

it would not be healthy but by fucking christ it would be hilarious

sasha would be the gold digger and pikeman wouldnt know how to speak to a woman and it would be great

nikki x sasha - 5 to 8/10

nikki was bullied by sasha a lot, also sasha is kind of a dick, but they could be cute if sasha got over herself and started to be actually decent. with care put into it, it would be cute in a storyline of "girl forced to be perfect her entire life and externalizes this onto others, learns to embrace her true self through realizing that girl who is messy and doesnt care about how she looks is happy"

or maybe i just really like mabel x pacifica. its one or the other

tabii x erin - 8/10

very cute!! i liked how they acted at the end of the lake lilac summer social, but they work more as best friends in my opinion? badass besties who would wingman each other and tell each other everything in sleepovers. but at the same time, i do love gay people.

erin x neil - 7/10

SIGH if only erin got more character development. it could have been very cute. mostly because erin deserved someone who liked her for something other than her loks, which shed been pressured to prioritize just all of the time. also neil and erin could bounce ideas off each other?? and once more, pathetic bf x badass gf

erin x snake - 2/10

there wasnt much between them outside of "omg hes cute" without much emotion put into it, yk? which is funny because i like snake x tabii which wasnt too different but whatever

snake x tabii - 8/10

TABII WAS A DICK TO HIM BUT OH MY GOD IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

forever crying about that. they would go so well together????? tabii deserves someone who thinks shes pretty i really like tabii and she and snake would be badasses together and i and i and i

pikeman x snake - 3/10

do not like it personally. mostly because pikeman's an asshole but yk

camper x counselor - wtf/10

daniel x david - 4/10

definitely not for me!! can be cute i guess, especially in aus where daniel isnt a cultist, but i dont think david would ever fall for a child murderer

david x gwen - 20/10

i love them. i love them so much. goes into my favorite trope of badass wife x too scared to ask for katchup at a ristraunt husband

david x jasper - 10/10

pre-jasper death only. post-jasper death and thats creepy because jasper is literally still a child

pre-jasper death and in aus where jasper lives, i will gobble that shit up like a starving turkey. i literally love it so much. like??? i cant explain why. plus ive read so many good fics with it that i am unable to hate it.

gwen x jen - 3/10

jen has appeared a total of one time for exactly 5 seconds. but in aus where shes given a character and isnt a murderer then i think it could work

daniel x jen - 5/10

never interacted (as if im one to talk with my nerriston bullshit) but cultist x cultist can be made interesting

cameron x priss - 9/10

could either be 1 of 2 things

your grandparents that keep fighting all of the time but love each other

two irresponsible grandparents that teach the child how to make an explosive

they seemed to have a sort of romantic connection and it wasnt all sexual attraction, and cameron's fear of comitment was the only thing really stopping them from enjoying a presumably happy and healthy marriage

platypus x food - 10/10

a match made in heaven

[80svhstapes]

I'm sorry you always advocate for abuse victims like Billy but now you're literally throwing one (Susan) under the bus. Where is your compassion for her? She is a victim of Neils as well that's so hypocritical. And to say she neglected Max willingly, she also had the depression in s4 too. Susan deserved help as well she's not a cunt omg. You always be like no comparing of abuse victims but now you do the same because she didn't help your fave as she had her own shit to worry about.

*sighs* well here's the thing anon

the biggest difference between susan and the siblings is that she's the adult and they are the CHILDREN, I would have sympathy for her IF she hadn't neglected max and billy for the entire time she's been on this show

if you're gonna neglect your kid i'm not gonna have much tolerance for you, especially if you're an addict to drugs or alcohol

this isn't to say that susan didnt deserve help I am saying I don't have any tolerance for her because she reminds me of WAY too many adults that have countlessly failed me and my best friend in my life

[phoenixyfriend]

Gonna share a bunch of the Fun Tags I've seen on this post.

#I saw this a minute ago and I was like.#prachett was c of e and gaiman is jewish#(both of them atheist/ atheist-adjacent)#catholics do not have a monopoly on complicated relationships with christian theology lol#also I think reducing what makes a character catholic to just trying to find the most symbolicly christian character is kind of………..#reductive to the catholic experience?#not that the feelings of catholics are my number one priority lol but like it is in fact a distinct identity#shaped by its history and the ideology it purports to serve and the unique relationship to a unique faith#just like any other religious identity#idk this is a joke poll and like all joke polls it’s been funny to watch#and I’m not actually mad or anything this is at most an amusement fueled faux outrage#but like in general.#next time you say a character is catholic stop and think: are they? (via @onelonelystory)

#pls vote homura!#i love crowley sm too but homura absolutely 100000% deserves to win this one (via @catboywizard)

#now I'm no theologian. or whatever.#but crowley could not give me less of a Catholic vibe if he tried (via @ruin-gay)

#CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE ARE FUCKING JEWISH#homura is catholic tho ur right there (via @quinquangularist)

#Vote for Homura Akemi!!!!#Crowley's jewish#I'm sorry (no I'm not) but no catholic would question god like that#also Neil Gaiman is jewish#and based the scene where Crowley and co talk about their evil deeds off of an antisemitic play (? I think it was a play?)#as a way to make fun of and kind of reclaim it#and his relationship with god and heaven is just very jewish of him in general#also I'm jewish and I love him#have the catholics not taken enough from us#I'm joking but also not really#I love my boy and that's why he must lose (via @neerdowellnarrator)

#Homura loves god so much she is down horrendous for god (via @bootlegfriend)

#echoing everyone in the tags and saying that CROWLEY IS JEWISH#Homura is THE Catholic character of all time#religious guilt singleminded devotion and a same sex love interest that makes her feel guilty af#she has it all!#she is IN LOVE. WITH GOD.#vote Homura Akemi! (via @burnorgetburned)

#homura is actually catholic what are you people even on (via @lachrymosade)

#pls vote homura apparently the superwholock demon is Jewish#also it’s literally pride and she’s canonical a lesbian (via @usaigi)

#Oh homura is WAY more Catholic than Crowley lmfao (via @saccharineomens)

#if you ppl let the character born as a literal parody/subversion#of the ''evil jewish cult plotting the end of the world'' conspiracy get christianized we are officially worsties#vote the anime girl (via @carlyraejepsans)

#please vote homura guys shes a catholic shes a lesbian she trapped herself in a timeloop that changed the very structure of the universe#AND she robbed the military. shes so iconic please (via @sleepylinguistt)

#i didnt even see who he was up against or what the poll was for i just saw david tennant and voted wo thinking#milflaralorvan ur post would have worked if i saw it first BDJSHJF#i cant actually retract votes so im just gonna joke 'im keeping my vote for the transgenderism effect the 10th doctor and crowley had on me#exclusively but in spirit im voting homura' (via @zymstarz-rb)



Round 2 - Side A

Propaganda below ⬇️

Homura

she is a catholic lesbian whose girlfriend became god. she has been through so much.

shes such a lesbian for amdoke

Catholic guilt literally turned her into a demon

she literally watches everyone she knows die over and over and over again just so she can save madoka, the one girl who showed kindness towards her. when madoka ends up basically becoming god in order to stop the cycle of death and violence, homura RIPS AWAY THE HUMAN PART OF HER SOUL so that she can create a world where she and Madoka and their friends can live happily, effectively becoming the devil to madoka’s god

She has so much religious symbolism when it comes to her relationship to Madoka. Madoka is God and Homura becomes Lucifer so that she can save Madoka and give her happiness. She literally rips God from heaven and rewrites reality though. The way she sees her self and shapes reality is through the lense of Catholicism.

most fucked up little catholic girl. we love that for her.

Okay homuras entire fuckin arc is stemmed from the fact she is Catholic. Look at her trying to save Madoka over and over again and suffering for it because she thinks if she suffers enough and works hard enough Madoka will stay. Normal people do not go into time loops willingly. Catholics will.

Crowley

i'm pretty sure a central point of the book is that the demon is more catholic than the angel

[redrabbitspod]

This is in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful and I am fully aware that you can do whatever you please but I feel like Neil is getting so out of character. He clearly started to develop more of an own personality but he definitely has been through so much and he is just so..cheery and happy and clingy all the time(which if you’re like that is in no way wrong or bad) and now he reminds me so much of Nicky in AFTG. It’s really hard for me to still see Neil.

OOC: This is very long, and while we think everything leading up to it is super important to our thought process (and yes this is something we’ve thought about) the bit in bold is the heart of the point we try to make. (Please read the whole thing though!)

Hey, I’m actually really happy that you sent this in because I’ve been wanting to talk about it. I know that there’s a post going around that we both wholeheartedly agree with about Neil reaching far past ooc and becoming very ‘fem’. Jeni and I had a really long talk about this because we were worried that our Neil would be perceived or mistaken to fit in that trope. And while I think your concern is EXTREMELY valid (note: people can write the characters however they want. It’s fanfiction, they can do as they please, like you said, we just did not want to go that direction), I have a few points as to why I disagree. 

On surface I definitely get that. Idk if you’ve read the entirety of RRP, but I know for those of you that just read the asks (Im sure there are a lot), it DEFINITELY seems that way. But we went into RRP right off the bat letting people know that these characters will fundamentally be different. In Andrew’s case, we know he’s extremely soft now and we bring that up a LOT in the fic. Both himself acknowledging it and all the other characters around him. But we went in knowing he was going to be very different from canon - mainly because we took out the plotline that he was ever put on meds. In Wish You Were Here, the story we are writing post-season 2, we will be mentioning that and how we twisted it. Because in canon, that shaped his entire character. The medication changed the physiology of his brain and we hated the fact that something so abhorrent was forced upon him by the courts that we didn’t do it. And as a result, Andrew’s character is completely different because he’s able to tap into emotions that were blocked in canon. He’s able to grow in ways that he was not able to before and besides the fact that this is set a good while after college and especially his sophomore year that we saw in canon, he was going to change. We definitely know that them admitting that they love each other, making strides in their relationship both physical and mental, opening up, expressing, for his character may seem extremely ooc for some, but we had to take into account what would’ve happened if we took the thing that shaped his character in canon away. I hope we’ve done him justice. 

Now onto Neil. Neil we work over a LOT. And when Jeni brought this up to me because of the post, there were glaring things in my mind that automatically said no. This doesnt apply to our Neil even though to some it may seem that way. Here’s what we’ve done at least very consciously to make sure that our Neil holds integrity to his canon character, that he holds merit and a backbone to back up how he’s grown throughout our series. 

From day one, we knew that they knew each other. We knew that an event from the past not only shaped how Andrew approaches life, but how Neil does as well. Childish sentiment and nostalgia kept Neil in Arizona for so long, which we imply throughout season 1 and start the ball rolling in the first chapter. For the both of them, they held onto the boy they met at the Grand Canyon through everything they’d been through. When shit got tough, it was each other they thought of. And on some wild whim, Neil hoped one day Andrew would walk through the Book Nook’s doors and he’d see him again. Not because Neil had a crush, because he didn’t. But because Andrew was the embodiment of strength for him. 

New York was really important to us. Neil standing his ground and letting Andrew know exactly what he’d done to him, was what the entirety of Season 1 and EVEN season 2 culminated and came back to. Neil being able to say no, fuck you asshole, and always express exactly how he was feeling, was so vitally important to us. ESPECIALLY when it came to Andrew. Those few weeks of New York we wanted to build a bridge if you will. Andrew’s intentions were always genuine and well-meaning and Neil knew that, but survival instincts and what’s been ingrained in him stuck. They started to have a little give when he came to realize that he felt something for the man before him. But he never lost that fight for himself. That HE has to ALSO be okay. And I think we see a lot in that trope of Neil that he loses the fight, the backbone, the integrity that makes his canon character so compelling (even if he is a martyr). 

One thing we worried people would misinterpret was how fast we pushed their characters together. We definitely get that. In our world we didnt really have the luxury of really stretching it out like some may have, just because we were working with real-time. And honestly? As we wrote, the drive to push them together because they were so connected and intertwined just fell genuinely and organically. For us, it only made sense and not because of canon, but because of the story we’d written already. It made sense to us for Andrew to be the one to hold himself back and Neil be the one reaching out - Neil be the one exploring and beginning to recognize what want and really, agency over himself AND his wants, was. Neil was the one to ask for their first kiss here, Neil was the one to initiate them all afterwards, Neil was the one that asked Andrew to touch him, Neil was the one that asked what they were in Arizona, Neil was the one to bring up sex. And in return, Andrew was peeling away layers of himself, feeling accepted, and wanted, and understood in ways he’d never been before. And honestly? Feeling honored that they were both experiencing emotions in ways that they both never felt before. We see their relationship has an equal give and take, a push and pull. And I’m saying all of this because it’s honestly and truly really important for why we’ve made Neil’s character the way that he is. 

Going into season 2, we knew that happiness could not last long. They both had things to sort out, they both had hurdles to hop over, bridges to cross, whole fucking oceans to swim. Before season 2 started, before we had anything written or really even solidly planned, we knew they had to break up. Jeni even had the scene written back in either july or august. We knew that in order to continue trying to give integrity to their characters and relationship, how far they’d grown but also that growth is not a linear path, we needed to break them up. And in the lead up to that, we made sure that Neil was not only looking out for Andrew or trying to, but that he was looking out for HIMSELF. Unlike in canon, he didnt automatically have the foxes - not in his head at least. Of course he knew he had a home there, he knew that he had friends, but they weren’t like canon because he didnt grow WITH them like he did in canon. In his mind, he really only had Andrew and if there was no Andrew, why stay? And when their fight happened we made sure that Neil had value enough in himself, care for himself, love for himself AND for Andrew that they couldn’t let this go on any longer. Neil left because he knew he deserved better. He knew Andrew needed help and he couldn’t provide it. And he held onto that. In fact, Andrew even held onto it himself: 

“Is there no hope, then?” Andrew asked, unable to help himself.

Neil sighed and Andrew was grateful that he at least didn’t pretend that he didn’t know what Andrew meant.

“I don’t know, Dr- Andrew.” Was it possible for his chest to hurt even more? He wanted to curl in on himself, but settled instead for clenching the sharp corners of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into the palm of his hand. He watched as Neil bit the inside of his lip and that little indent appeared. Maybe he feels it, too . “Part of me wants to say fuck it all and let’s just go home. I hate this... But I hate what you’ve been putting me through these last couple of weeks even more. I can’t do that again,” he stopped talking once more and inhaled a shuddering breath. “You broke my heart, Andrew. I know I sound dramatic and stupid, but I don’t know how else to say it and - I don’t know how to do this, for fucks sake.” He finally turned to him, but the eye contact was brief and before it was even there, it was gone. “I came into this knowing nothing about relationships and I know even less about breakups. I don’t know how to navigate this.”

“You think I do?” Andrew asked. He didn’t mean  for it to sound so bitter, but there it was.

“I don’t know with you,” Neil shrugged. “I feel like you keep everything so close to your chest, that there are whole sections of you I’m missing. And listen, I don’t blame you. You should be able to choose what you want to share. But I can’t help that it makes things hard when you’re falling apart and I don’t know why...”

Andrew let go of the box and put both of his hands in his lap. Grinding his teeth together, he heard the beginning hum of Bee’s buzz , but took a deep breath to try and keep her at bay. Clearing his throat, he looked back to the stadium and that stupid orange fox paw, before he murmured, “What if I offer you a piece?” - suddenly and quickly said, it was as if his mouth was trying to outrun his mind, despite the second he took to contain it. He’d known this would eventually come - that he would have to do this. And besides, Neil deserved an explanation, even if they never got back together.

“Andrew-”

“I’m not offering with hopes that we’ll get back together right now, Neil. I’m working through shit the best I can. Therapy is helping, but I know it’s a process. I just know you deserve an explanation. And I haven’t wanted to tell you because it’s fucking horrific, but I was also afraid that it would send me even further down the spiral if I talked about it. Now that I have a space to vent through, I don’t think I’m so afraid of the fall.”

This part was so important to us for both Andrew and Neil’s character. And in the entire build up to the break up and directly after, Neil held onto the fact that they needed to talk. He kept bringing it up. Because he knew that if they didn’t it would escalate just like it did before. 

“I wouldn’t risk being with you again if I didn’t think things would be different. I’m not better and to be honest? I probably wont ever be better. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my shit by myself because that’s just how it was. I’ve avoided relationships because I never trusted anyone with my baggage and I didn’t think it’d be fair to pile it on someone anyway. So when it comes to talking about shit - I’m not used to that. Bee was the only person I’d ever told everything to, and she doesn’t even know all of it.”

“I know that,” Neil said, leaning forward as if to show Andrew how much he actually understood. If that was the case, Andrew believed him. “I know you, Andrew. I would never force you to talk about something you don’t want to. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But , I need you to work with me, and if not me, someone else. Don’t take it out on me when you’re going through shit that neither of us can control. It’s not fair and it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and I can’t fix it.”

Now. Now we’re up to your points. I promise all of this was important for me to explain, because I know there’s literally SO MUCH that we’ve written, that shit happening now can get in the way of everything that’s happened before to lead up to this. 

We fully recognize that Neil is definitely happy. But he’s not happy-go-lucky and we tried really hard to make sure he didn’t lose his integrity - his backbone - the things that made Neil, Neil. 

Something I realized throughout this series was that I was getting worried that the focus of season 2 was so heavily on Andrew. I was seriously worried about that. But then I realized that Season 1 was focused solely on Neil. Season 1, Neil was a fucking wreck. It was Matt AND Andrew comforting him, Matt and Andrew bringing him down, Matt and Andrew trying to protect him, take care of him, find him, search for him, all of that. But even through Neil’s horrific anxiety and all the bad shit that happened, it was still Neil that pushed himself up from the ground, pulled Lola back, and gave Andrew the in. It was Neil that fought with the doctors and nurses to see Andrew and make sure he was okay. Even still afterward though, it was Neil discovering and Neil understanding and a lot of Neil, Neil, Neil. 

Season 2 is heavily focused on Andrew. We’ve already seen Neil’s story and his growth. Its Andrew’s turn to try and again, build his bridge to getting better. But with that, it was Neil that made the strides to speak and handle Ichirou, it was Neil that figured out things with his uncle, it was Neil that ultimately had the gun, brought Andrew for practice - took it out and demanded Andrew get behind him this time. It was Neil that looked Andrew in the eyes as the cops patted them down and desperately tried to tether them together.  It was Neil that kept reassuring Andrew they were going home. It was Neil that snapped the moment the cop tried to put his hands on Andrew to show them where their things were when they left the prescient, and ANDREW that allowed himself to be pulled into Neil’s arms in that moment, because he knew that he was the one thing that was SAFE. It was Neil that held Andrew that night and Andrew that LET himself be held as he broke down. 

That was one chapter ago. And we really tried to illustrate at the end that they have a life ahead of them now. They have a future - a future that is spread out and it’s bright and full of possibilities. They have a future where they can do what they want. They have a FAMILY. They have nieces, Aaron, Kate, Bee, the entire TFN team. Neil had nothing and now he has something. He has hope. 

Promise Im coming down to the end omfg. This is why our Authors and End Notes are so fucking long i swear to fucking god. 

This BTP chapter, we wanted to explore that fucking unbridled happiness. That elation of fuck - we have the world out in front of us. We don’t have any killers on our backs, Hailey is safe, Robin is safe, Jean is out, the Moriyama’s are taken care of, Stuart isn’t begging Neil to join the Hatford Branch, Aaron and Kate might be moving back to South Carolina, they’re married and all of that isn’t terrifying. It’s COMFORTING. So yes, this BTP chapter was bright and cheery. Neil was most certainly happy and showing it. Jumping on the bed, kisses all around, getting excited over ZOO BABIES and a ZOO CHOO train. But just because we show this side of him where he gets to go on a road trip and experience real and true fucking freedom for the first time, doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden shedding everything that we’ve built for his character. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but I mean it when I say we take the characters, the integrity of the characters, very, very seriously. Also in this chapter, Neil takes a homophobic asshole to task and not in the way that a lot of people do, but by quietly hinting at the threat because Neil doesn’t need bells and whistles. In fact, he even talked about how being happy was something his mother frowned upon: 

Because the way he looked at Neil when a butterfly landed on his finger or when he snuggled up to a goat in the petting zoo let Neil know that Andrew was happy. And he was happy.  That was something Neil never really had in his life. His mother didn’t care if he was happy, only that he was alive . In fact, the less happy he was, the fucking better. By her logic, he was less likely to go rogue if he didn't feel like there was something to be happy about outside of her. 

Neil’s finally had a moment to enjoy and let go and we know exactly how that can come off, but we have an entire future planned for them and the book they’re about to explore. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be all “butterflies and rainbows”. But all of this does not mean that all of a sudden we’re giving in to tropes and changing his character entirely because of one chapter. RRP and it’s characters mean too much to us. 

So I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’m so fucking sorry this is so long omfg. And I respect your view because we definitely worried that people would see them like that. But we have a reason for almost everything we do in this fic and really, we just wanted to see the boys happy here. We don’t believe he’s like Nicky and we don’t believe he’s clingy, but everyone interprets these characters differently, and you’re certainly entitled to that opinion. We hope this just makes our thought process on Neil’s development a little clearer. - The Creators

[blookmallow]

and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT

never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!

god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 

i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 

so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 

and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 

i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 

i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 

GOD FUCK

WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 

FEAR 

WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 

this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 

im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this

sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 

im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 

well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in

anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck

i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone

i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 

NEITHER WAS I 

b............beedle juice................

nice

i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 

“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 

GOD

DAMN IT 

none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.

I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 

but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 

FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 

i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 

for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from

big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 

YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg

anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say

i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 

also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 

i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those 

[ceasarslegion]

Yay!

So this person was in that half life server i talk about sometimes. They just left out of the blue one day and ghosted everybody as if we were all just things to discard after over a year so i think vaguely putting them on blast is somewhat deserved, although i wont be giving identifying information beyond that. Those in that server will know who im talking about. I personally suspect that they ghosted because we told them one too many times that just because theyre autistic doesnt mean their parents were dicks for making them stand in line at the mall for a little long and that they really should figure out how to cope with situations like that instead of just instantly having public meltdowns they seemed to fully indulge every time something like that happened. They also, on multiple occassions, vagueposted about me in the SAME SERVER implying i was a piece of shit for doing things like posting a photo of a big spider to go "YUCKY ITS IN MY HOUSE" which apparently triggered them when they, at no previous point, voiced that spiders triggered them. Like do you want me to read your fucking mind? Said person was also a fully grown adult so, yeah. Yikes.

Anyway they had a DNI on their blog that was separated into two sections: red vs yellow flags. Red flags were things you werent allowed to interact at all for if you were any one of them. Of these included your nazis, your racists, and your... beastars fans. Deadass. Beastars is apparently just as bad as being a nazi. Cool. I dont think you know what a nazi is.

Yellow flags were things you werent allowed to interact with if you met any 3 of them, which was littered with your typical tumblrina "problematic media" dni list. Yes i met most of these things but i simply didnt care. Because thats not how life works, you cant just cut people out for being fans of three things you dont like, of which included, no word of a lie, "neil gaiman fans."

Yeah the real world is gonna chew you up and spit you out if you dont grow up

Oh god that last post reminded me

Who wants to hear about the most chronically online dni list ive ever seen