#you KNOW he’d make a girl character and bone the hot vampire

[finndoesntwantthis]

I know Kenny loves his silly little fighting games but goddamn can we get this man to play some BG3 on the stream 👀 this broken down bisexual needs to broaden his horizons!

[falsegoodnight]

this is part two of my december fic rec! this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 18th to the 28th!! it’s also my birthday today which makes it even more special! i can think of no better way to spend today than spreading positivity! :)

you can find part one of this month here

✰ there’s happiness because of you by @hadestyles | NR | 1k - (so soft, tender, and beautiful!! rori’s writing amazes me always! and this was written for my birthday because they’re an angel <3)

Thursday mornings have always been their favourite.

✰ and it gets colder and colder by @hadestyles | E | 2K - (another rori fic!! once again, beautiful prose! made me feel emotional!)

Harry wants to take care of Louis. Things take a turn.

✰ make my wish come true by @soldouthaz | M | 3k - (drabble from this series) (so cute, lovely, soft, amazing!!! made my heart so happy! this is also dedicated to me which :’) sarah angel chant)

The taste of Christmas cookies fresh out of the oven and peppermint hot chocolate is still heavy on his tongue. Harry’s sweater provides some warmth and it still smells of him from before he left for his internship two weeks ago, but it’s nowhere near the feeling of his arms wrapped around him. Louis shivers despite the blankets.

✰ spirit meets the bones by @hadestyles​ | E | 3k - (i had to edit to add this because rori wrote another beautiful little fic for me :’) beautiful prose, beautiful emotions, so so so beautiful, gosh. pure poetry!)

The action shouldn’t fill his eyes with tears but it does. These small gestures mean the world to him. A steady reminder that Harry does notice all the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that make Louis him.

✰ 29 Blows by @quelquesetoiles | E | 4k - (super hot but also so cute!! love the concept of the birthday tradition in this one!!!)

For over a decade now, Harry has had his little tradition. It wouldn't be a Louis Tomlinson birthday without his best friend finding new, ingenious ways to make his life more difficult.

It's cute, it's funny, it's theirs, until Harry takes it a step too far on Louis' 29th birthday.

✰ calm me down (before i sleep) by @erodiansunflower | E | 7k - (a pwp and super hot, but also super cute??)

Prompt 24: Harry is a sex shop owner that has a crush on Louis, the shy customer who flirts with him while buying cute buttplugs, lace panties, and collars. One day, Louis asked Harry to help him put on a corset (they end up fucking in the dressing room). Things escalate quickly from there, so they start seeing each other seriously while trying other sex stuff.

✰ You’re Never Alone With a Moon This Bright by @helloamhere | T | 8k - (part one of this series) (WOW this was incredible and i am ENTRANCED! this author is an all-time favorite and idk why it took me so long to get to this series but i’m here now!! and loving it!!)

Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.

✰ Be a Good Girl For Me by @sincetheywere16and18 | E | 9k - (really hot and cute!!!)

Based on this prompt: “AU where Harry is Louis’ older brother’s best friend. He catches Louis dancing around his room in panties and blackmails him, saying that louis has to do anything he says or else he’ll tell Louis’ family that he wears girly underwear. Secretly soft for him, Harry gives him easy tasks and uses the whole thing to spend more time with Louis. Eventually, the orders begin to escalate and Harry teases Lou about his secret, making Louis shy and embarrassed. Louis loves the attention though, and forms a crush on his brother’s best friend. Lots of feminization, secret relationship, and enemies to lovers. Thank you!”

✰ it’s hard to fight naked by @loustarlight | E | 11k - (LOVED this so much!!! a big fan of enemies/flatmates to lovers especially when there’s a walk-in involved!!)

Louis leaves dirty socks on the couch, Zayn does assignments while he's high, and Harry is hopelessly crushing on his roommate.

✰ Sweet Scary Creatures by @specklelouis | M | 13k - (jurassic park au!! so cute and fun!!! loved louis’ character growth in this in particular!)

They stare into each other's eyes for a while until Louis remembers this is too intimate and looks at Harry’s hands on his thigh. It spans a big portion of his thigh and Louis has always been insecure about how thick he is, so he loves that Harry has huge, dustbin hands that hold him and makes him feel smaller, safer.

✰ hereafter (ad infinitum) by @larryent | M | 13k - (this was absolutely beautiful!! the writing was incredible, the contrast between the old timeline and new one impeccable, and the letters!!! love them!! and vampire harry is always a win!)

"A legacy is every life you’ve touched. And you’ve touched mine twice."

On the coast of San Francisco in 2024 is when Harry falls in love all over again.

✰ Believe Me When I Say You Have It All by @helloamhere | T | 20k - (part two of this series) (loved this even more than it’s predecessor. not to be dramatic, but i’d die for the louis and harry in this series. this whole world has my heart)

Harry had never faced anything in this forest that had actually succeeded in scaring him. Louis was no exception.

✰ Yours to Lose by @loulicate-recs | M | 26k - (so cute and soft and sweet!!! louis and harry were both angels and IAN <3 little cutie!!! so proud of you hanis!)

Louis always gets distracted with his mummy duty and he eventually catches Harry's attention.

✰ But It’s Useless by @thinlinez | E | 26k - (this put such a big smile on my face!! so cute and lovely!! louis was a relatable and adorable menace and harry was a smitten idiot but they both got there in the end!!)

Omega Louis would never guess that he would be trying to hack into Alpha Harry's Wifi. That is until everything changes when he tries to get to know his enemy.

✰ Stuck On You by Writewhatiwant | E | 34k - (so so sweet! loved the aspect of stickers in this fic and how louis found joy in them!! really loved how both louis and harry (especially harry) grew throughout this story and how they found peace at the end!)

Louis’ life revolves around his stickers. Harry’s life revolves around his job. The universe has decided their worlds should revolve around each other.

✰ smoke between your teeth by @soldouthaz | E | 37k - (i think everyone knows how much i adore sarah and her fics but this one just might be a new favorite! loved all the psych stuff, the pining, the rom-com worthy confession <3 brilliant!)

Louis tries to stop his addiction to cigarettes and discovers he's been addicted to Harry for much, much longer.

✰ Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning by @helloamhere | T | 38k - (part three of this series) (it just keeps getting better and better <3 so comforting and consistent and beautiful!)

For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right.

✰ On The Edge by @zanniscaramouche | E | 47k - (so crazy good!! zanni is always amazing me!! loved the ice skating, the hockey, the misunderstandings, the multi-faced and beautiful characters and relationships - all so perfect!)

Figure skating is as vital to Louis’ identity as his DNA, so when his skates go missing right before the last Olympics of his career there may be a meltdown only vanilla bath salts can fix. Well, that and the stupidly charming hockey player he met on the plane.

Harry’s too old to be the wonder kid and too young to be taken seriously in the NHL. As an alternate thrown in at the last second, he fights to prove himself on the national team at the largest sporting event known to man. Or he will, once he gets off this flight and can focus on something other than the fussy figure skater and his stunningly blue eyes.

A baggage mix-up skews both of their perfectly laid plans for gold, forcing the two to work together as the clock clicks towards the minute they’re expected to shine on centre ice.

✰ made for lovin’ you by @cuddlerlouis | E | 53k - (loved this so much!! touch depri/accidental bonds are my favorite and this was no exception!!! the characterizations, the tension, the misunderstandings, the tenderness, the fluff!!! so good!)

A quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.

✰ social cues by @outropeace | E | 56k - (so fucking good!! the slow burn in this was impeccable!!! pair it with friends with benefits, mutual pining, angst, misunderstandings... amazing <3)

To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.

He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?

Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.

It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

✰ dripping like spider milk by @raspberryoatss | E | 64k - (pip amazing me with her talent? a common occurrence. this was so wonderfully written and so well done!! loved the characterizations, the dynamic, the angst, the miscommunication, the pining, the HUMOR!!! it was all so amazing!!)

When he sees the alpha, his brown hair curling around the top of his neck and his broad back that’s filled out over the past couple of years, Louis freezes for a moment. The alpha turns around, Louis’ surprised expression mirrored on his own for a fraction of a second before he schools it into a big, yet shy grin and a wave of his huge hand. With his nostrils flared, Louis knows that he can smell him, too.

They never hired alphas, except for—

“Harry.”

✰ a taste of freedom and sweetened passion by @tomlinvelvetfics | M | 74k - (okay technically haven’t finished reading this one yet but i want to get this up early and i already know this is amazing because it’s LATE and she’s incredible!!! and, i mean, anne of green gables?? abo?? best birthday gift ever!! will be spending the day reading this in bliss <3)

“Are you mad?” he explodes, throwing his hands up, groaning. “I was so, so close to reaching my goal, and your stupid, stalking ass had to creep up on me, hm?”

Harry is trying to keep his laughter in, walking closer to him, eyes soft. He doesn’t like the way those eyes make him feel, an odd, dangerous mix of nervous and flustered, so he bends down to pick up the books, raising an eyebrow when Harry growls in protest.

“I wanted to pick them up for you,” the alpha pouts, and Louis glares at him, getting into position and lowering the pile of yellowed pages over the top of his head.

“I’m a functional human being, thank you very much,” he grits out as he begins to walk and mentally count the amount of steps he takes. One, two, three, for heaven’s sake Harry fuck off!, four, five. He doesn’t let himself be distracted as the alpha walks along with him despite the slow pace, green eyes focused on him in a way that would, in any other cases, compelled him to throw a book in the alpha’s face.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t do it and certainly doesn’t want to think about the reason, whatever it might be.

If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[m-y-fandoms]

Blood on Our Stage - Vampire Nagito Komaeda x Human Female Reader -Part 1 (Slight/Platonic Female Reader x Hajime Hinata)

So, this is an old fic I updated to fit these characters because I want to continue it :)

NEEDED CONTEXT FOR THIS AU: Hajime and Nagito are step brothers, (Y/N)/Reader is a human, Hajime and Nagito are vampires, and Hajime did indeed get into the Main Course at Hope’s Peak, for acting.

The paycheck… It's all about the paycheck...

   You took a deep breath, reassuring yourself for what seemed like the hundredth time that year… or that hour.

Smile, s-smile. Breathe, lean into him. It has to look real, (Y/N). God… it’s a whole new level of crackhead when you stutter to yourself in your thoughts.

 Dissociate. 

What are we having for dinner? How many more steps ‘til that damn egg hatches? If it’s another fucking Diglett I swear I’ll go apeshit. 

You shifted to your right, the most forced of grins creeping onto your cosmetic-plastered face. You let your head fall onto Hajime’s shoulder. Convincing right? Touching is convincing. Random gentle displays of affection are convincing... 

By this time, you were nearly blind from the flash of some fifty or so cameras in your face, anyway, so why not just pretend that the photographers and press were blind as well?

  Why not, why not?

 You pretended in every other aspect of your life.

"Isn't that right, (Y/N)?" Hajime’s voice shook you out of your trance, and you turned your head, letting go of his arm, which you had grabbed out of habit. His sparklingly white teeth - sharper than the average man's - gleamed down at you, and you felt that usual pang of fear run down your spine and chill your bones. Even attached to the gums of the sweetest boy on earth, you’d never get used to the sight.

It's all a show, (Y/N), a game. Pretend. "Fangs for the fans, and all that" 

How long would that farce last until people started to realize?

  What had Hajime said earlier that month? You retreated into yourself, thinking deeply, trying desperately to calm the anxiety that rose with at the sight of his flesh-tearing canines...

   _______________________________________________________________

"I can bare my fangs at interviews, photoshoots… you know, when the paparazzi are around. It’s what my dad wants,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Don't worry about it, (Y/N). Honestly, you freak out over the silliest things sometimes.” He ruffled your hair. “It will look like I'm dedicated to the role, or something like that… whatever. People will love it, trust me."

      ___________________________________________________________

But you never could. How could you? A monster with a secret, stupidly displaying that secret openly to the world? No… trusting meant removing little stones from that carefully built wall, which sub-sequentially meant getting hurt, and not just emotionally. You recited this mantra to yourself almost routinely; something you’d picked up from someone very close to your heart. Isn’t it funny how we steal little bits of personality from those we love most?

You knew Hajime just followed whatever his father commanded, that he’d do anything to feel like he mattered, that people cared. He’d done all this: the acting lessons, depending on daddy’s money, the unless studying and promoting himself, just to get into that stupid school and kickstart his illustrious career.

"Isn't that right, (Y/N)??" Hajime tenderly brought his hand up, stroking your shoulder awkwardly. The clench in his jaw, however, wasn't friendly at all. You couldn’t really blame him, though. He was doing it for your sake, after all. You had to get through this, and he knew he had to pull you through; everything depended on it.

How could this flock of idiots not tell the “chemistry” was forced???

"Uh… o-of course! Yeah!" You smiled, a fake chuckle escaping your lips, and the crowd of reporters and internet journalists roared in front of you. Of course they did… wasn't everything the disciplined and people-pleasing boy beside you said fucking hilarious? You sighed, returning your gaze to the mass of people below you as you and your leading man sat raised on a platform behind a pretentiously high table.

    Just let Hajime handle all the questions, you thought to yourself indifferently. You always did. They rarely directed them at you specifically, anyway. So much for your dream: to stun the world as an independent starlet, a crimson-hot femme fatale. It was always ‘Hinata Hajime’s doe-eyed leading lady!’, ‘Hajime’s little love interest!’, never ‘(Y/N) (L/N)... featuring Hajime Hinata!’ But... you were famous, and with no little chunk of change to boot… you should’ve been thankful… right?

So why weren’t you…?

  Your eyes scanned the faces before you, and you realized that you hadn't… really looked at them until now. Yes, the usual prolific online bloggers and huge theatre junkies were there, and Mr. Hinata of course. He wouldn't miss out on one of his company’s press meetings for the world, especially with his money-making beloved son in the spotlight. He was so anal, how could anything possibly go off without a hitch unless he was there?

You wondered if the girl next to him knew he was a ravenous monster as well, but thought better of it. Of course, she didn't know. You shouldn't have even known. But you did, and it plagued you every day of your life.

  Fuck... you just wanted to go back to your room and overthink in peace. It was embarrassingly uncomfortable to do so in public

Mr. Hinata sat sternly upright, with his polished, slick hair, in his polished, slick shoes and extravagantly tailored navy suit, his secretary at his side, brushing his hand unnoticeably between the chairs. His wife would never care, anyway. To their right sat a rosy-cheeked intern, spunky and full of character. Holding a clipboard between perfectly painted nails, the only thing that spoke louder than her bright smile was her neon miniskirt. She must not have known, either. No human simply knew, and still managed to look that innocent and lively. The PR girls loved press conferences, and each new show only yielded fresh publicity. This most recent show, set to premiere the following night, was a tale of romance: A vampire lord and his human lover: a medieval era period piece. Of course, for this reason, Hajime did nothing to hide his all-too-real fangs. 

You loved a good historical romance, and loved being in one even more. It had always been your goal as a starting actress to take the lead in at least one period play, be it Victorian, colonial, medieval.. but... it had not turned out quite the way you planned...

   A few other members of the Hinata family accompanied their revered head of  the household… or was it head of the clan… coven? Whatever, it was expected. The murderous bloodsuckers always clung to their leader’s side, and could always be found lurking around Hinata’s estate, if they weren’t already crammed up his ass looking for approval.

A flash came from the reporter to the left, directly into your vision, and left you dazed.

 Fuck… you seethed internally. Calm down. Calm down. The paycheck. That's it. This is almost over, anyway. Why did you always find yourself spacing out at the worst possible times? You acknowledged that it was how your body coped with the overwhelming urge to break down, but damn if it wasn’t inconvenient at the minute. Nothing screamed ‘I have something to hide’ like acting shady in front of a hundred people…

You leaned into Hajime again. Sell the relationship. Sell the love.

You exhaled in exhaustion. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Hajime… you did, just, not like this. Never like this. Lying to millions of fans and the press, pretending Hajime was anything other than a brother-like figure to you just to line his father’s pockets, tore you apart more than keeping his immortality a secret. Denying you both a chance at real love for fear of scandal… you were sure that there was no phrase you’d ever grow to hate more than “The Hinata Theatre Company!” Ironic, wasn’t it, that at one point in time, you begged to be here?

You found that scoping out a crowd lowered the anxiety you had about actually being in front of them. It's funny, many people asked how you could possibly be afraid of crowds or public speaking when you were a damn Broadway-level star. Your answer was always the same: your rush of adrenaline and passion for theatre got you through a show, but anywhere else but on that stage, and a crowd turned your mind to jelly. It was different… walking out for a performance tamed the butterflies that flew around inside your stomach.

  Of course, there was always the fact that your boss could tear you apart at a moment’s notice that contributed to the anxiety, but you obviously couldn't share that little bit of information with anyone. It was all so hard to process, that this kind young man beside you could be something so fearsome, that your whole life was a public sham. You’d never forget the day you’d found out… how it changed everything. You shouldn’t have to be afraid of your best friend, you just shouldn’t. But how could you ever truly trust him again?

Your eyes bounced once, twice around the room.

  ...No

   You gasped, breath catching in your throat as your eyes caught on something that caused you to jump slightly in your seat.

"You ok?" Hajime whispered, the crowd going noticeably silent for a moment. Mr. Hinata glared in your direction. A silent warning, reminding you that even one wrong move made his company look bad, and that would not end so well for you. That was the shining aspect of Hajime’s personality, that he was nothing like his father.

"Yeah, y-yeah," you spoke airily, cheeks heating. "I just slipped to the edge of my seat a little, almost fell!" You lied timidly, a small laugh.

They'll eat that shit up. Soft-spoken, innocent, clumsy girls are all the rage! Of course, Hajime picked up on the lie immediately, catching the change in tone, the skipping of your heartbeat. Being an immortal freak had its perks.

The bright-eyed boy beside you patted your arm, the crowd chuckling politely before returning to their bombardment of questions.

Your eyes flew back to the corner of the room, back to the object that had you startled in the first place. You tried to tell yourself you’d imagined it, but there was no mistake,

 It was him...

 Standing there in the entranceway, so dimly lit, he hid in the alcove. There was no mistaking his favorite jacket, the fabric ripped and weathered from use. There was no mistaking the intricate, almost root-like pale green veins which spiraled up his arms, told a story across his milky collarbone, tumbled down his wrists, and made him all the more intimidating. Intoxicating. There was no mistaking that full head of tousled hair, brightly standing out even in the meager lighting in that disregarded corner of the room, messy whisps branching out dangerously; an air of nonchalance and bored irreverence. Smug bastard…

And there was absolutely no mistaking the way those bright eyes illuminated his white skin in contrast, a frightening and ethereal glow shooting off of him in waves. Hajime’s chestnut-brown eyes never mimicked that terrifying iridescence, but then again, Hajime never took his life-sustaining drink from a human host. Your hands began to subconsciously shake. From fear or the itching desire to… you didn’t know, throw your arms around him, touch his cheek just once... ? You never knew with him. He was a wild thing, a beast untamable. But why the hell was he here?

Carelessly he leaned against the door frame. His tongue shot out predatorily, running along his lower lip in one fluid motion. His knuckles raised, brushing against the green of his coat and coming up to scratch the side of his face.

❘ What are you doing here?! ❘ You sent your thoughts out in waves so loud you might as well have been screaming. You knew immediately that he had taken them in, absorbing your mental cursing and inner toil like sun rays. It was a power and privilege only those of his kind who were purebred enjoyed.

He did not answer, but merely tilted his head, the corner of his lip rising in that maddening grin he always threw at you. An impish smirk hiding mischief and chaotic intentions, you were sure.

You knew it would be mere moments ‘til your flawless "boyfriend" beside you noticed his presence as well, and you feared what might become of this night that was supposed to be of celebration. Almost as if on cue, Hajime’s words halted to a stop. That evil smirk only widened, a small snort shaking the intruder’s chest.

"Nagito..." Hajime murmured through clenched teeth, his hand shooting down to grab your wrist. "He's here."

  "I know..." your words shook, just loud enough for any non-human in the room to hear. Now it was time for you to be Hajime’s rock. Nagito's head bobbed, looking down at his old ripped jeans, and you saw Mr. Hinata's eye twitch before you, his vampiric hearing triggered immediately upon hearing your quiet exchange with Hajime.

Mr. Hinata followed your eyes to the back of the room, his fiery glare landing on the face of his eldest and only step-son in the shadows.

Was it too late to run back into the dressing room and never come out?

You could feel the tension in the air, a line of electricity connecting the three vampires like mental twine, ready to break at any moment. It was like watching three animals square off, sizing up their threat on a National Geographic documentary. The other Hinata coven members, all also fierce bloodsuckers in their own right, merely sat forward politely, sensing Nagito's aura but knowing better than to give him the time of day. After all, alerting the press to his presence would certainly not be a wise way to stay on Mr. Hinata’s good side.

  No one outside of the family even knew about the existence of the elder brother. He was an embarrassment, a stain on Mr. Hinata’s designer tie. In the packed room, he looked so out of place, with dark, torn clothes in a sea of try-hard collared shirts and dresses. Sure, everyone who was anyone in the media world had turned up for this interview, and would also return for the opening night the next day, but everyone who was anyone never included Nagito. He made sure of that. He just had to stick out, be different, didn’t he? Even among a bunch of immortal freaks, boy… was he a freak. 

Oh no, mommy remarried some rich man then got herself killed, better act like a little ungrateful little prick. Woe is me, I have super good luck that is sometimes super bad! No one understands me!!!

He sickened you, the way he did his best to destroy what he and Hajime’s family had built, all in the name of his backwards and twisted idea of “hope.” As if he didn't live like a prince because of the Hinatas’ hard work. Don’t get it twisted, you hated Mr. Hinata and would love to see the Hinata empire burn, but this company, the desire to be recognized and worth something, was all that held dear Hajime up. It was his only dream, and he deserved it. Nagito didn’t have a right to tear Mr. Hinata down if he had to wreck Hajime to do it.

     He disgusted you, you’d decided months back, to make it all easier on yourself. Everything he’d done, the trouble he’d caused, the hurt he’d caused so many people. Routinely, you reinforced to yourself that you hated Nagito Komaeda

   ...You were disgusted by the way you… just... couldn’t hate him. It didn’t feel right. Something felt… wrong in hating him.

  Your heart lurched, meeting his eyes again.

Why not? Why not just hate him, (Y/N)? Like everyone else…

Why was it so hard? You were supposed to be with Hajime. And Hajime hated Nagito. Everyone who knew Nagito hated Nagito. But… telling yourself you were anything but infatuated with that dangerous creature… was a lie. You owed everything, good and bad, to that feral, insane man.

Your nerves and the hairs on your arms pricked up like an agitated cat. Why why why? Why would he even do this? He knew what showing up here would start. He was born to start shit, to brew altercation, to cook up conflict. Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt? Perhaps he finally came to an event to support his darling step-brother, but the way he bore his fangs when his eyes met Hajime’s said otherwise.

❘ Leave. Just Leave. You're just here to antagonize me and I won't let you be a problem. Not today. This is my day… ❘ Hajime spat mentally, and his thoughts burned through your own and, you're sure, Nagito’s.

❘ Aren’t all the days yours, Your Majesty? ❘ Nagito’s thoughts were more severe, yet more playful, taunting, careless, a venomous snarl behind every synapse pulse.

❘ ...Leave. ❘ Hajime pulsed back in warning.

❘ ....Or what? ❘ Nagito’s own ominous threat reverberated through your cranium. You pressed a hand to your temple, an angry, stinging sensation pulsating through your head. Having a vampire read one’s mind was uncomfortable enough: feeling the slight probing and perhaps needing an aspirin after, but being the third line in a purebred pissing match… it was a call you desperately wanted to hang up on. But.. humans didn’t naturally hear a vampire’s thoughts on accident. No, you were hearing this conversation because you were meant to, someone wanted you to. You had no powers of your own, but Nagito kept you trapped in this nonverbal battle, strung up betwixt two immortal minds. You brought the back of your free hand up to your nose, wiping away a stripe of red vitality that began to flow from both nostrils. The panging inside, the angry shouting in your mind only got louder.

[buffyversefanfiction]

Slayer of Slayers

Warnings: I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART TWO LINK HERE

Part Three: Slayer Supervision

Faith Lehane walked into the room within the Hyperion Hotel that she had made her own every time she came to Los Angeles, walked over to her bed, and pulled a rucksack out from under it, before proceeding to open the bag and pull out her favorite knife, the one Buffy stabbed her with, the one she eventually returned to Faith, and as she began looking the blade up and down she was filled with a dreaded sense of nostalgia as she remembers how much blood she had spilled with this knife, fearing she would soon be spilling more with it. “He has really got to you, hasn’t he?” Angel asked as he walked into the slayer’s hotel room. “Faith, this Theo is not you nor is he the past you, he is something else entirely and if we have to kill him that does not make you the rogue slayer again…” “Doesn’t it? How come I get a second chance at getting this right and he doesn’t? We do not know how hard his life has been? How he came to be in that dive bar full of all kinds of monsters, maybe he was brainwashed or maybe he’s just like us and got lost along the way, maybe he just needs saving like what you did for me.” Faith replied, admitting her reluctance to fight Theo. “And you did me…” Angel said with a sincere smile. “If you think he can be saved then I hope we get the chance to save him…” “Angel…” Faith began to say only to be interrupted by Illyria storming into the room. “I found your so-called slayer of slayers I do not even think he is trying to hide…strange he is meant to be this fearsome foe and I would not underestimate him but all I sense from him now is sadness,” Illyria announced. “I think it may be somewhat kind to put him down now…and I do not know how I feel about that.” Faith could not help but feel guilty over Theo’s misery as she had found herself forming a strange bond with the rogue slayer, she had only met him and Tobias briefly, but it was enough time to realize how much they really cared for each other, and Faith knew how rare something like that was. Things were far simpler for her when she was the one on team bad killing and pretending not to care about a damn thing but despite the complications that came with redemption, she had something now which she had never had before, and that was friends, friends who helped her fight her darkness, and friends who had her back, whereas she suspected Theo only ever truly had Tobias and now he was gone. Faith found herself caring for this stranger far more than she had ever cared for a stranger before, there was a kinship between the two that she could not deny, and because of this, she wanted nothing more than for Theo to have a chance at true redemption, a chance she hoped she could give him…

“If you think you are the only one with surprises slayer then think again!” Theo declared as Faith, Angel, and Illyria walked into an abandoned warehouse, somewhere within the city limits of Los Angeles. “If anything, your surprise was half expected but what I have in store will blow all of your minds.” “What are you human? Your slayer like but not slayer like, there is something more to you than the average blood bag.” Illyria questioned the rogue male vampire slayer. “If I have to break every bone in your body then reassemble you to find out then I will.” “Oh, I’m a slayer alright but unlike the others, I chose my path, I chose this power, and if anything, I am the only true slayer since the first.” Theo willingly revealed to them. “How do you choose to be a slayer? How is that even possible?” Faith wondered. “A witch casting some spell does not make you a slayer it just makes you lucky.” “It’s a little more complicated than that Faith, if we had more time, I’d have told you not only what I am but who I am…the who being far more important in this story,” Theo replied, being as cryptic as possible. “There’s only one of you and three of us,” Angel stated, giving the guy a chance to hand himself over to them, but within seconds vampires began walking in from all the different entrances of the abandoned warehouse. “These bloodsuckers will take mere seconds to kill.” Illyria declared before turning to Faith. “How about you show the petulant man-child what a slayer really is?” As Illyria and Angel charged towards the vampires and began fighting, killing, and slaying their opponents with a little too much ease for Theo’s liking, Faith charged towards Theo beginning a fight between the two slayers, one that Theo managed to hold his own in rather well as he delivered almost as many punches and kicks to Faith, as she did him, proving to be quite a match, but before long Faith got the better of the rogue slayer making it clear she was far stronger than him and victoriously slammed him to the ground before pulling out her infamous knife from her pocket. “It does not have to go down like this kid.” Faith told Theo as she stood above him, knife in hand, while Theo lay on the ground looking at his army being slaughtered easily by Angel and Illyria, knowing he was defeated. “Just kill me already…I’d rather dance in hell with my Tobias again than ever give in to a slayer!” Tobias shouted at Faith, only to be met by the blunt end of Faith’s knife, as she used it to knock the slayer of slayers out cold. “Lucky for you I’m not a killer anymore.” Faith declared, knowing she had just won the fight without having to get her hands bloody.

After keeping Theo held up in the cage within the basement of the Hyperion Hotel, one once used for Angelus, Faith made arranges with Giles to come to pick him up and take the rogue slayer to the Giles and Harris Rehabilitation Centre for the Supernatural, a place established by Rupert Giles and Xander Harris intended to rehabilitate rogue slayers and the odd supernatural creature. Faith knew Theo would be in good hands with Giles, the watcher she wished she had from the start, knowing his center had helped many struggling slayers get back on their right paths but if Theo was truly going to be rehabilitated at some stage, he would, of course, need to want it and that was something that Faith feared would never happen. “Not going to lie when you pulled up in that big ass truck, I got immediate flashbacks of the watchers' council trying to take me in for their version of slayer rehab, but I know you’re a better guy than any of them plus it helps to have slayers on the side at your center, slayers helping slayers and all that, like a sisterhood, except now I guess we have a brother too.” Faith admitted to Giles as the two of them stood in a random parking lot, standing to the side of the truck that Faith had mentioned, a truck that had Theo tied up inside. “You are by far the biggest rogue turned redeemed slayer success story Faith never forget that I would probably never have even considered opening a place as this had you not shown me the amazing capacity one can have to truly change. Look at you’re now the number one girl in demand saving lives all over the place, like the true hero I knew you could one day be.” Giles gushed showing fatherly pride towards the slayer whom he had grown closer and closer towards over recent years. “So, what happens with the boy now? I mean we still don’t know how he is a slayer if he is even a slayer and that whole dormant power thing Illyria was talking about has sure got my interest peaked.” Faith quizzed the former watcher, eager to learn more about the mysterious Theo. “We will do all that we can to help him but I’m afraid our progress entirely rests on him some slayers have good turnaround but then others stay for a long time…perhaps too long but there’s nowhere else for the dangerous ones except under supervision by those who are just as strong if not stronger than them,” Giles informed Faith. “I can tell you really want this one to be a success story all I can promise you is that I will try my hardest to make that happen not only for you but for him too.”

Rupert Giles kept his promise to Faith and over the next few weeks he tried relentlessly to get through to the first male slayer Theo, hoping to break through to him, and find out what it was that Faith saw in him worth saving, but he only got games, awkward flirting, and more games, as Theo refused to break at the hands of the former watcher, or less surprisingly his no so silent business partner Xander Harris who had his construction company help build the rehabilitation center at a reasonable family discount, and had now thought himself something of a therapist but was mostly put up with by the slayer bodyguards because he’d always show up with hot beverages and bakery delicacies. And so, to keep his promise to the vampire slayer, Giles decided to call in a certain redheaded witch who knew a thing or two about coming back from the darkness herself, Willow Rosenberg, best friend to Xander Harris and the infamous vampire slayer Buffy Summers. “I am sorry about the shackles and everything, but you do have super strength and I guess the people working here have to got to have some sense of security.” Willow apologized to Theo as she walked into the prison-style interrogation room where she found Theo handcuffed to the table with chains around his feet. “This place is the best for you even it does feel like a prison…oh boy I never noticed how prison-like this place really was.” “I’ve been in worse prisons in my time although they did not have fancy slayer proof chains that’s for sure, I guess you’re the next interrogator, shame I enjoy the flirting with the old man, but I suppose you are better than that goof with the donuts…admittedly good donuts,” Theo replied to the witch, as he looked her up and down, examining her in her mind, beginning to form the guess that this could be the all-powerful Willow Rosenberg. “Giles is a good guy no he is a great guy the greatest, you’re in perfect hands here, I do not know what you have been through or what led you to hunt down your own kind, but I want you to know we are going to do everything we can for you,” Willow stated with discomfort, trying to hide her own queries about the place that Giles and Xander had set up. “So, you lock me up for hunting my own kind but you lot imprison your own at least my damage on them ends quickly where I guess this little operation here does a lot of damage on the weaker minds, but you do not have to worry about me my mind is perfectly intact,” Theo responded, not sold on Willow’s attempts to sell him this place. “So, tell me, Theo, where did you get your name, have you got the last name, I mean of course you have the last name, where did you grow up, who are your parents?” Willow questioned the rogue slayer, eager to get some answers from him. “Here’s the thing red you seem super cute and everything you know for a witch for the tendency to flay people alive, but I am not going to sit here and spill the details about how I wound up slayer of slayers. Now had Buffy herself had the courage to face off with me then maybe I’d be more willing to spill my guts.” Theo answered her, now knowing from the quirky attitude, and the signature red hair, that this was the Willow he had been described. “So, how about you let me go before I have to go all prison break up in here leading to me killing a bunch of your friends maybe even the old man too.” “Are you seriously telling me you have no remorse about killing all those people, slayers, humans, innocent lives that you ended?” Willow snapped at the rogue slayer, refusing to believe he had no remorse. “You will not be leaving here until there is proof that there is some kind of soul still inside of you Theo and if we cannot find it then consider this place your new home!” “Do not sit there and tell me you did not feel the thrill of literally ripping the skin of a man who took the love of your life from you, the pleasure you got in revenge. Sure, it is easy being all remorseful now that you got your revenge, but I still have people to die before I get my peace, and thanks to everyone involved in taking me here, I

now have even more to add to that list.” Theo admitted to her, unintentionally revealing to the redheaded witch that something had to have happened to him to make him want to seek out revenge in the first place. “I am not proud of the person I became when I lost her…and yes I enjoyed every minute of my revenge but once I got it, there was nothing…I still did not have her and all I did was bloody my hands and betray the ones I love.” Willow said as tears began forming in her eyes. “Whatever revenge you are seeking is not worth it because even if you do get it, then what? Vengeance eats you up until that is all that is left of you and then when it leaves you well, that is when you are truly alone.” “Vengeance was not everything I had…I used to have him.” Theo replied, surprising Willow by opening to her, clearly showing he understood some of the pain she was feeling. “I was happy once, living the boring suburban life and then everything changed…I never thought I would ever be happy again but Tobias, he loved me so intensely, with all of his heart, he showed me love like never before, and then that blue-haired bitch took him from me.” “The fact that you loved him, the fact that you still loved him shows there is some goodness in you and clearly he saw it too. I do not pretend to understand vampires and their souls but if you two were able to love each other then neither of you could be truly evil because true evil does not feel anything let alone love.” Willow advised the rogue slayer, believing she was getting through to him, as she started to see in him what Faith had seen. “I am sorry he was taken from you nobody should have to go through that pain!” “Thanks for the pep talk witch but you either release me now or this prison is about to get bloody!” Theo warned Willow, hiding back behind his virtual mask, hiding his vulnerability which he thought of as nothing but weakness.

After attempting to get through to him and failing, well at least partially failing, Willow walked out of the so-called counseling room, which was clearly more of an interrogation room, and walked into a nearby hallway to find Faith there stood anxiously waiting for Willow’s appointment with Theo to be over, as Willow realized just how involved Faith was becoming in this case. “He has definitely read the rogue slayer playbook that you created in another world he could be the Chucky doll to your Tiffany despite all the weird romantic stuff considering he’s a gay guy and you are not a dude,” Willow mumbled to the slayer as she walked over to greet her. “Oh god, now I’m going to be having wacky nightmares about you and him in doll form trying to kill me.” “Nice to see you too Will but can we just get to the part where you tell me all you got out of the troublemaker?” Faith asked the witch, eager to get new information on the latest rogue slayer. “I think he needs to talk to somebody, and I do not mean any of us, somebody with an actual license in psychology. I get the whole dangerous thing but the person in there that I just met is someone deeply hurting like you were…I am so sorry we did not see how badly you were hurting back then.” Willow revealed to her, as she apologized for failing the rogue slayer many years ago. “Maybe Giles can get a psychiatrist up in here or something?” Faith suggested as she looked around the place that she had found herself in. “This place seems more prison-like than actual prison but at least they had doctors and everything.” “I am going to find out everything I can about Theo, cast some spells, locate family, find records of his life, there must be some kind of paper tracks I can find to find out who he was and what made him who he is now,” Willow said, reassuring her friend that this rogue slayer was not beyond saving. “Thanks, Willow.” Faith replied genuinely. “Hey, you have been a one-man army since Buffy went all recluse on us all and with Xander and Dawn busy co-parenting baby Joyce since their split you have kind of been my most frequently in touch friend lately,” Willow admitted to Faith making it clear that she appreciated Faith just as much as Faith appreciated her, showing how far the former enemies had come since the days of Sunnydale High.

Theo may have been in the so-called rehabilitation center for a few weeks now but they were far from wasted weeks, while they tried to work him out he was busy working out the layout of the player, the techniques of the slayer guards, eying up the weaknesses of not only the people within this prison but the building itself and as he sat in his literal prison cell bed bouncing a small bouncy ball against a wall he knew his escape would be soon. “If your master plan is to continuously bounce that ball against the wall until it breaks then I have nothing to fear about you breaking out of this place.” Faith told Theo as she walked up to the gates of his prison cell. “I hear there’s more than just slayers went bad up in this place and yet I’ve not seen a single vampire, demon, or anything non-human looking here,” Theo replied, noting the double standards of the place that claimed to be for all things supernatural. “I guess you got to look human or it’s straight to the slaying for you guys which sounds about right. You know there are more monstrous humans in this world than there are evil creatures…you cannot tell me every demon you’ve met was evil and yet there is not even one here to be rehabilitated.” “This is not my prison not my rules but if it was, I’d have everything scaly, hairy, or whatever up in here, minus the actual monsters I mean I am not a saint.” Faith told him, making it clear she didn’t entirely disagree with him. “But right now, you should consider yourself lucky that this place’s rules benefit you!” “After the carnage, you caused to me and my people…to my Tobias, you should consider yourself lucky that there are slayer-proof bars on this cell standing between because even if you were able to take me, I’d make damn sure you died with me!” Theo threatened his fellow slayer, once again living up to his reputation as the slayer of slayers. “Listen up you little brat I do not know why I give a damn about your redemption but somehow I do, and I tend to stop at nothing to get what I want so I will get through to your psychotic ass and one day you’ll be thanking me not threatening me.” Faith responded, keeping her cool, making it clear there was nothing he could say to discourage her in her mission to save his soul. At that moment Theo hated Faith, the slayer who came between him and his beloved Tobias leading to the death of the love of his life, but he still respected her nonetheless, she was a badass bitch who seemed to fear nothing, and most of all she and Illyria, her lover’s actual killer, were the only ones so far to beat him in a fight, and he looked forward to one day beating them both, and avenging Tobias’ death.

After her latest altercation with the rogue slayer, she could not find herself to give up on, Faith had agreed to meet Willow at a nearby dinner, Willow remaining rather cryptic about what she had found out, and why she needed to meet away from Giles’ little prison operation and after a twenty-minute ride on her motorbike Faith met up with the witch in a diner that was completely empty of people except for Willow who was sat at a booth holding a cup of coffee, eagerly awaiting the slayer. “Either you certainly have a way with words with folk or you super witched everyone right out of this place.” Faith assumed as she walked over to Willow and sat down next to her. “I’m assuming the latter considering your going all secret spy on me.” “I started off running Theo’s DNA through a criminal database which I swear is getting easier and easier to hack into as the years go by, and I found a bunch of aliases he went by until a clearly fake birth certificate led to me to the people who raised him from a baby right up until their suspicious deaths which judging by the crime photos I managed to get my hands on tells me they were killed by vampires.” Willow impressively revealed her findings to a stunned Faith, who could not believe that she had discovered all this in such a short space of time. “So, here’s when things get uber wacky, I did a blood finding spell from some blood samples Giles had acquired from him to see if there were any living relatives that could help us get through to him…” “Have I ever said how much I love the fact you’re the smartest person I ever met I mean you are pretty super even without the magic?” Faith complimented her friend, eager to learn more about the mysterious Theo. “So, who did you find if you found anyone that is?” “Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Hank Summers,” Willow replied, shocking Faith by her revelation. “And no, he is not some long-lost brother or some distant cousin he is Buffy’s son, the one who should only be about a year-old right about now.” “Holy shit!” Faith stated in a sense of disbelief. “When we lost him in that emergency portal that you created, we didn’t lose him to some other dimension we lost him to the past. So, you are telling me Buffy’s son grew up in the past and is now a twenty-something psychopath clearly out to kill his mother…now that’s messed up even for us!” “We all failed him as a baby…especially me I mean I created who he is today by shoving him through that damn portal!” Willow confessed, feeling all the guilt for what they were forced to do. “Buffy will never forgive me for this, I will never forgive me for this!” “Will, we had the whole of hell chasing us wanting the miracle child, we were out-numbered and out of ideas if you did not magic up that last-minute portal, he would have died that night for real and so would the rest of no doubt…or worse we’d live knowing we couldn’t save an innocent child, Buffy and Angel’s son.” Faith responded to Willow, making it clear to her that nobody was innocent that night, but they all did what they thought was best for Buffy’s son, who they know realized was none other than Theo himself. Suddenly, Faith’s determination to get through to him, Angel’s feeling of familiarness towards him, and Illyria’s claims of hidden power, all of it made sense to both Faith and Willow, he was the son of a slayer and a vampire with a soul, Angel had recognized his own son without even knowing it, and Faith’s guilt over him as a baby had transported onto the adult version. Last year they were forced to take drastic actions in order to protect Buffy and Angel’s child from the rest of the world, a child that logically should never have existed, and yet he did anyway, but deep down neither Faith, Willow, or Buffy ever got over the guilt of those actions and now that Faith and Willow learned the result of them, and how it molded that innocent child into becoming Theo, they were more determined than ever before to get through to the rogue slayer.

However, Theo had no plans of being rescued, in fact, he was planning to rescue himself from the Giles and Harris Rehabilitation Centre for the Supernatural which to him was just fancy words replacing prison to help make those working there feel better about themselves and sure a prison for the supernatural made a lot of sense, but just call it a prison already. And so, the rogue slayer kicked off his escape plan by simply bouncing the bouncy ball harder and harder against the wall, now standing closer to his prison cell gates knowing that the nearby slayer powered guard was growing more and more annoyed by the irritation until she could not take it any longer. “Cut it out already!” The female shouted as she marched over to Theo’s prison gates, playing into his plans as he grabs his little rubber ball and launched it straight into the woman’s throat and as the slayer began choking it caught the attention of another one of the guards but before the other guard could come to the woman’s rescue Theo grabbed the choking guard in towards him, snapping her neck with all the force in his hands, before swiping the keys out of the guards pocket and throwing her now lifeless body to the ground, as he used the other guards' shock and terror to quickly unlock his gate and walk out of his cell. As the stunned slayer came to her senses, she quickly charged towards her colleague’s callous killer only for Theo to get the better of her with a single punch before he lifted her body and threw it against the prison bars, the guard crashing off them before hitting the ground with full impact before the slayer of slayers quickly turned his attention towards the other rogue slayers being held captive there. “I am not much of a team player, but I am going to let you all free, kill whoever stops you from getting your freedom and make sure as hell if you get caught you at least slow these bastards down so I can make my escape!” Theo shouted down the prison hallway to all the prisoners he knew were on this floor, determined to cause as much carnage as possible.

After unlocking many prison gates himself he then let the other slayers take over the prison break duties as Theo quickly began his own escape plan, ditching the others as he found himself running through an empty window before reaching the large bay window which looked out towards the nearby river, the prison’s only view, and that view would be the means of his escape, all he’d have to do is survive the rather large fall but as he ran up towards the window he came to a grinding halt when he heard the sound of a warning shot, the bullet hitting the very window in front of it, smashing it into pieces, as he turned around to find Rupert Giles stood there holding the gun, ready to fire at the slayer of slayers if he made another move. “As much as I love doing this little dance with you and feeding my daddy issues, I’ve had enough fun now and I’m ready to blow this joint,” Theo told Giles making it clear not even a bullet would stop him from leaving. “You killed two of my girls and set free a bunch of killers unleashing god knows what madness by doing so!” Giles shouted at the rogue slayer furiously as he kept a firm hand on his gun, making sure not to take his eye of Theo. “You do not cage an animal then blame it for biting you when it breaks free.” Theo taunted the former watcher. “So, you better have one hell of a shot, or else I’m going to get really pissed and there is not enough British charm in your body to make me not break you into tiny little pieces.” “Get on the ground now and put your hands up or I will shoot!” Giles shouted nervously, not wanting to take the slayer’s life but knowing if he had to shoot, he would, and he would not miss, he could not miss. “Oh, please I am not going to die at the hands of some stuffy old librarian who fancies himself a prison warden to wayward slayers.” Theo laughed, mocking the former watcher ruthlessly. “Get on the ground!” Giles repeated one more time, only for Theo to begin to run towards him, giving Giles no other choice but to fire his gun frantically, not once, or twice, but three times, two of the bullets managing to hit Theo’s body, one launching itself into the slayer’s chest, the other straight through his stomach, knocking him backward as he fell to the ground heavily bleeding out. “No!” Willow screamed as she and Faith came running from around the corner, witnessing Theo’s bloodied state at the hands of Giles, the former watcher not realizing he had just shot his slayer’s son. But before either Faith or Willow could get over to Theo to check on him, nurse his wounds, and try to save him, Theo struggled back to his feet, shocking them all by his tenacity as he continued to bleed out, doing himself no favors whatsoever by moving with all his blood loss as he limped his way over to the broken window. “Like I said I will not die at the hands of a stuffy librarian.” Theo struggled to say before he began coughing up blood and just as Faith began running towards her fellow slayer, Theo launched himself out of the window plummeting towards the river and a more than certain death. “No!” Faith cried as she ran towards the window desperately looking for some sign of Buffy’s son, only for her hopes to be met with more dread when she could see nothing but the river, realizing that she had once again failed that same child that she, Willow, and Buffy swore to protect. “He killed two of my girls then set free a bunch of slayers almost as bad if not even worse than him…I did not want to shoot but he gave me no choice.” Giles mumbled, clearly guilt-ridden over what he had just done. “I understand that casualties are bound to happen around here Giles…but this one’s different,” Willow stated with tears in her eyes, grief-stricken by the death she had just witnessed. “You just killed Buffy and Angel’s kid!” Faith shouted at the former watcher, as she turned around to look at him with fury in her eyes. “That baby died over a year ago, he’s an adult that is absolutely impossible!” Giles argued with her, in disbelief by her claims. “That’s what we told everyone when we lost him…and now we

lost him again.” Willow cried as she realized all hope was lost, the chance of Theo’s redemption, the possibility of reuniting him with his parents, to get Buffy back, all that hope of any of that was now truly gone.

Although nobody knew it then their tears were well and truly wasted for Theo’s story was nowhere near its end, and as his seemingly lifeless body washed up on a nearby sandy shore in the dead of night the deliciously delirious and devilish vampire Drusilla appeared from a distance in full vampire form, walking over to the fatally injured slayer, picking him up in her arms lovingly, as if he was a baby, her baby, and in her mind that is exactly what Theo was. “Do not worry my darling boy mummy is going to make you all better and then we will make them all pay for the damage they have done to our family.” Drusilla declared to a seemingly lifeless Theo, ready to nurse him better, and then the games could really begin.

[toloveawarlord]

Ch. 1

Characters: Vira, Vlad, Charles, Faust + some main cast

Tagging: @plumpblueberry​

A/N: Have my most recent Ikevamp OC! I realize that I have only posted 2 of my many ocs for this game so I am remedying that with this series! Note that this story is much darker than my other series, and will have adult content (next chapter and forward) and descriptive violence and gore, possibly even torture. It’s dark my friends.

WARNINGS: 18+ Violence and Descriptive Gore

 Metallic warmth coated her pale lips and slipped passed to spread across her tongue, like finding a single droplet of water after a century in the blazing heat of the desert that left her achingly parched. Stiff limbs regaining their ability to feel as the blood coated her throat, slowly giving life to that which had been rendered inanimate for an inhumanly amount of time.

Golden eyes opened for the first time in too long, unfocused, and blurry but the sight of simply the crumbling concrete ceiling of the mausoleum made her tingle with excitement. Her tongue slithered past her cracked lips to swipe away the last bit of blood that stained her red.

“Easy, Vira. You’ve plenty of time to regain your strength.”

Her lashes fluttered, words unable to escape her mouth that refused to work, too weak. The only thing that her voice could make was raspy, guttural laughter from deep within. Resurrected by Vlad, not her own father, boded well for her to return to Paris and paint it a gloriously deep crimson.

What fun would she soon have with this newfound freedom from eternal, restless slumber.

******

“Uncle Vlad, I’m grateful that you resurrected me. I’ll assume my father has no idea you’ve found me,” Vira sat upright on the slab of stone that used to be her resting place, the small vial of blood drained completely into her body and giving it the strength she once lacked. Though not blood related, the girl had spent so much time with the older vampire that she’d grown quite fond of him as part of her family. After all, he had been the one to side with her, believe in her, and allow her all the fun her heart desired.

The white-haired vampire extended his hand to her as his head shook in answer to question. Of course, her father couldn’t know of his plans to bring the child back, or he’d surely have hidden her body somewhere less likely to be discovered. “My apologies that you had to endure such cruel torture from him, and that I couldn’t rescue you sooner.”

Vira placed her dainty hand in his, accepting the assistance in standing. The amount of blood given to her not near enough to quench the painful thirst of a century without that vital nectar. Golden eyes flickered to the two lingering by the entrance to the mausoleum. “Can I drain them?”

“We are vampires ourselves, under Lord Vlad.” The taller one spoke with gruff and disdain. Though stories had been told of this wicked vampire, the priest found her lacking of the pedestal that he’d perceived her to be placed on. A dainty little thing, perfect for experimentation.

“So? Blood is blood, and I’m terribly thirsty.”

Vlad tightened his grip on her hand after the first malicious step she took toward them. “Faust, there’s no need to antagonize her. And Vira, darling, refrain from killing what’s mine or I’ll have to punish you.” The point pushed by the pain from the bones in her hand nearing their breaking point.

The girl gave a resigned sigh with a pout on her lips. “Breaking my bones isn’t necessary, Uncle Vlad. I wouldn’t do anything to harm those that you are fond of. All you need is to tell me.” Her head tilted to the side and the pout disappeared, slipping into a crooked smile. How long it had been since she last felt pain. Truthfully, it sent a shiver down her entire body to be on the brink of such an excruciating feeling. “Although, even if you say I shouldn’t visit my dear father, I won’t be able to resist. I owe him a little chaos for leaving me here.”

Flashes of that night arose from her deepest memories. Hours upon hours of dripping crimson blood onto the floor, not from her doing but spilled from her body. A rancid smell as the feeling in herself faded into a sedated, comatose state. By his hand.

Vira took in a deep breath once outside the crusty mausoleum that sat atop a hill far outside of the city of Paris. Land owned by the oldest vampire families and the burial ground for their beloved pet humans and outcast members that had been subjected to the same punishment that had befell her. Some especially dangerous were encased and hidden for none to discover.

The chilled wind crept over her form as if welcoming her back into the world with it’s harsh, frigid bite against pale skin. Leaves rattled in the trees like a fanfare. Moonlight reflecting in golden orbs shimmering with newfound purpose and an ungodly lust for the taste of human blood. It thrummed in her ears, even from this distance. A world of delectable decadence in the unsuspecting town that the vampire wished to indulge herself in.

“I’ve prepared a room for you at my home, whenever you’ve had your fill of fun tonight.” Vlad chuckled at her longing expression. First, she’d feed on a handful of unfortunate souls and then pay her visit to his longtime friend before scuttling home to him. Her mood would surely be lifted after this excursion and he could speak of his plans.

Vira adventured out into the night, like a grim reaper descending on the innocent townspeople out only to drink and be merry. Picking them off one by one, the little sheep falling prey to the frightfully starving wolf. The throbbing of their veins as her sharp fangs pierced their corroded paired with the thumping of their rapid heartbeat only drove her to find more humans to drain.

The struggling fizzled out, even the strongest of men unable to overpower the slight vampire. Pinning them against the rough brick wall of the alley, digging her knee into their stomach to keep them steady. The bite causing them to spiral into a state of surreal pleasure even as she gulped down their delectable, warm blood.

Golden irises reflected in their fear-stricken eyes. Her tongue sliding across crimson stained lips. Vira spent time with them, bringing them down from their high with a snap of one of their bones, only to sink in her fangs again to mask the pain with unbelievable euphoria. A shiver snaking down her own body. Their cries of pain and pleasure so delicious.

When their life ebbed away, she disposed of them by letting their bodies crumple to the ground, left in the dark alley to rot with the trash.

In a hazy state of ecstasy, Vira turned her sights on the mansion outside of town. Her strength fully returned; color brought back to her pale skin. Perhaps by morning, she’d dye the sky the same deep crimson that stained the streets of Paris.

The door unlocked. Quite dangerous, but it only proved that he believed no ill intent would come this far. What did vampires have to fear from weak humans? Vira took a deep breath. Fresh food of all varieties, a handful of lesser vampires gathered closely, and him.

Her hands trembled in anticipation. The prospect of destroying the picturesque evening and seeing how he’ll react. Will he be angry? Or maybe she’ll get a real treat and see utter despair and heart break. Her body was alight with tingly eagerness.

Once upon a time, she’d resided in this very mansion. Walking these halls, seeing little changes save for the gaggle of lesser vampires leaving their scent heavily over the house, it ignited the desire to watch it burn and crumble.

Tugging the door open, all the attention fell onto her. The eight seated around the table wearing varying degrees of confusion across their feature. Neither of the two who knew her were present.

What fun!

“Mademoiselle, how did you come to find this mansion?” The butler asked, hiding the deeper question behind a feigned smile. Why did you enter without permission? A human. His scent strong enough to wet her mouth with appetite that should have been filled after the jaunt in town.

Her desire for blood never truly satiated. Vira brought a lazy smile to her lips. Humans were less intimidated by friendly demeanor, weren’t they?

Maybe just a little...

“I shall inform M. Le Comte of an unexpected guest.”

Vira halted, head falling to the side at his words. Golden eyes sweeping over the array of utensils perfectly placed for each dish. His steps echoed in time with the beating of his heart.

“Are you a friend of Comte’s?” A gentle voice spoke from beside her. Cerulean blue eyes holding no amount of ill intent, only genuine curiosity.  

She was hot. Every fiber of her being reacting to that name like fiery lava about to erupt from the depths of a volcano. Rage like acid, burning and potent enough to disintegrate anything that dared enter her path.

The large bird awaiting to be carved supplied two tools. A slicing knife sharpened to easily slice the meat, and a two-pronged carving fork to hold it steady. 

They sounded friendly. As if they liked the damn man.

Vira jabbed the prongs down into the blonde man’s hand until it refused to sink further than the wooden table, freshly spilled blood filling her nostrils. Even vampire’s blood could be tasty when was spilled in tandem with pain.

She could hardly enjoy the cry of agony.

Chaos erupted around her, their movements like wading through thick tar in her vision. All drowned out by the pounding in her head. Wrath scorching, like fire lighting in her veins. Narrowed eyes locked onto the butler that nearly escaped her grasp but not quite quick enough. The knife embedded into the inside of his shoulder blade.

“Sit. Down.” Words hissed at anyone who dared to defy the insanity that had waltzed into their home that evening. Golden irises aflame.

They deserved to be hurt, broken, shredded into tiny pieces. Skinned down to their bones, muscles and tendons carved off their bodies. Rip their eyes from their sockets, and force them to devour it, choke on its bloody sinews. 

“Broer!” A foreign tongue roared from beside her. He towered over her small form, his own anger only that of a spark compared to the seething rage that radiated from the girl.

Vira caught his arm as his elbow thrust into her chest, drawing her ire upon him. Her strength far outweighed any lesser vampire. Like the snapping of a twig, she twisted his forearm back. The sickening crack of the bone breaking into two pieces wasn’t the end.

It didn’t satisfy her at all.

As the man sank to his knees in absolute agony. Her foot slammed into his side, leveraging her to pull the broken limb taught. “Would you like me to rip it off? I wonder which will give first. The mangled bone or the shoulder. Let’s find out-”

“Stop this madness!” Blade pressed against her throat; the soldier spoke with such authority he managed to gain her attention.

Her head lolled back, black, and red strands of hair falling away from her face. A devilish grin on her lips. “Are you planning to slice open my throat if I don’t? It’s too bad you wouldn’t be the first to do so.” Releasing the man like a child dropping a toy they’d lost interest in, Vira shifted her body to face the newcomer. 

The tip of his blade digging into her shoulder, intentionally done by her. Jade green eyes narrowed, standing his ground against the girl. “You’ve no place in this home.”

Wide-eyed, Vira burst out laughing, the sound off put by the whining and groaning of the three indisposed men. He’d only confirmed what she suspected that he had locked her away like an ill-kept secret, a skeleton in his closet that he planned to hide for the rest of eternity. “You aren’t his family. You’re his pieces on a chess board, pawns to be used to cure his boredom of immortality.” 

She shoved the sword away with her palm, letting it cut into her skin. The feeling of pain sending a shiver over her being. Calculated steps, quick and unread, the pureblood had the man shoved against the wall. Fangs sunk into his neck.

Whatever he may be, his blood unlike anything that she’d tasted previously. Not fully human, but not quite vampire, some abomination in between the two species, lost in limbo of life and death. Her eyes rolled back as a moan rumbled in her throat. Every last drop.

A rough hand gripped the back of her neck, throwing the girl away from her prey before she could fully take his life. Her body thumping against the floor, knocking all the air from her lungs. “How rude, Leo. I wasn’t finished.” Her crimson coated tongue swiped a missed droplet off her chin.

“You haven’t changed, cara mia. I thought that Comte had banished you.” Leonardo narrowed his eyes, supporting the weakened soldier who could barely stand.

“Banished? Oh, if only.” Vira climbed back to her feet, brushing her hands together as she checked for any injuries. To her dismay, no broken bones to play with. “But, why ruin the surprise. He’ll admit to his sins in due time. I only came by to say a little hello.” Her gaze swept across the dining hall.

Leonardo shot a warning glance at the others, silently telling them to stay back. He’d witnessed her handy work firsthand, and this had barely scratched the surface of her twisted pleasures. “I’ll be sure to pass along that you were here, Vira.”

“He couldn’t even bother to be here when his precious daughter comes home after centuries? Aww.” A pout set on her lips as she whined, as if all her work had been for naught. She’d craved to see his reaction to her revival. “Do tell him that this is just the beginning.”

She’d savor it another time.

Vira flashed a wry grin at the residents before turning on her heel to exit. Her hand rested on the knob. “Till next time.” She tossed the words over her shoulder with a wink and malicious smirk.

There were so many to play with, it would be difficult to choose.

Ah, but it hardly mattered. Any playmate will suffice. All they need do is bleed and cry out in pain.

Returning to her Uncle Vlad’s castle, her hums echoed down the empty corridors. Her bloodied clothes littered around, like a trail of clues leading straight to the culprit. Her steps light and airy, like a ghost dancing through the moonlight that bathed her pale skin.

High. Hazy. Tingling with desire and need. Her eyes slid closed, replaying the sight of their blood and their pained expressions bringing a soft moan to her throat. The whines and screams, the slicing of her own skin by the sharp blade. It electrified her nerves, leaving her wound tightly and longing for more release.

Golden eyes met with pale green ones.

That will do.

[leahxx129]

No Promises (purgatory!Dean Winchester x Reader)

Okay, so I’m an incredibly lazy person - if I don’t get something done in a short span of time, I will literally never do it. This idea popped up in my mind last night, so I had to write a fic about it today before it was too late.

Summary: When Dean Winchester ended up in purgatory and Cas abandoned him, he was completely alone in a land of vicious monsters thirsting for his blood - up until he met you. You managed to escape the place together, but now Dean’s brother is stuck there. There’s only one way to save him, but it requires a great sacrifice. Will Dean be able to make it?

Warnings: angst, character death

Word count: 1.280-ish

He’s clearly hesitating, changing his grip on the blade every second.

“C’mon Winchester, do it before I change my mind!” you say with a sad smile, your eyes watering in the process.

This area of the secluded alley is dimly lit, but you can still see his do, too.

“Promise you’ll come back with Sam?” his voice is hoarse, tinted with emotion.

“You know I can’t make any promises, sugar.” you close your eyes and let a couple of tears run free.

Frankly, you are not afraid to die. The only thing you’re afraid of is that you might forget his face over time and the way he looked at you, like you were the only person in the entire universe.

Dean raises the weapon to swing it, but halts. His brain knows there’s no other way, but his heart is having a hard time accepting it.

The blast from killing Dick Roman with the bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of fallen was enormous. Dean felt like as if it were devouring him – and it turns out that in a way it was. It devoured him and Cas and spat them out in a land full of mist and darkness, where everything lurking in the shadows wanted to shred them to pieces. They were in purgatory, a place where the souls of monsters preyed upon each other for the rest of eternity and Cas abandoned him.  He was on his own - until he met you.

He was being ambushed by three vampires and they visibly had the upper hand, having ridden him from his weapon. That was until you came in, of course. Dean was sure he’d never forget the way your braided hair flew in the air and how your eyes shone as you fought them.

“I mean, you’re welcome.” you said to him, picking up your blade and looking at the three headless corpses spread out on the ground.

Everything happened so fast, he could barely comprehend it.

“Who are you? And why did you save me?” he asked, panting, trying to steady himself against a gnarled tree. A mixture of blood and sweat was trickling down his forehead.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Judging by your recent performance, right now, I’m your best chance at survival, jackass.” he kept quiet, so you continued “The name’s Y/N. And as for why… There’s a rumor that a human with a pretty face made it through here somehow and based on descriptions, it’s gotta be you… I wanted to be the first one to make an offer.”

He gave you a quick once-over.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not into monster chicks, no matter how hot they are.” he said, totally misinterpreting the whole situation. You let out an exasperated sigh and rolled your eyes at him.

“God, no… I didn’t mean like that, perv.”

“Oh, okay… then, like what?”

“Like, I may or may not know about the existence of a way out of here.”

His face automatically hardened with suspicion.

“If what you’re saying is true, and it’s a big IF… what’s in it for you?”

Your lips curled into a sly smile.

“Well, supposedly, this portal is for humans exclusively… so if we find it, I’d like to hitch a ride back to life, pretty face.”

At first, Dean was conflicted – he wanted nothing more than to escape, but was the cost really worth it? Bringing a monster back to life? But, as time went by, he was forced to realize you were not like the other creatures that go bump in the night. In fact, he kind of grew a liking to you and the way you would sass him.

One night the air was particularly cold, but you were in an especially dangerous zone – lighting a fire would have been like an open invitation for monsters to come bite you in the ass. You found a hollow tree and decided to sleep there. You made yourselves comfortable, but after a while he cleared his throat nervously.

“It’s freezing tonight, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it is. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” you replied nonchalantly, making him press the matter more.

“Probably I will. But I was thinking... you know… in the movies when it’s cold, the characters usually survive by snuggling close to each other, keeping the other warm with their body heat…”

It took every ounce of your willpower not to laugh out loud.

“Uhm, Dean, you do realize that as a vampire, I don’t really have much of a body heat, right?”

“Oh, sure, I know.” he replied, while mentally slapping himself for getting embarrassed in front of you.

“But if you wanna cuddle, I get it. This is a grim place and feeling close to someone could be nice I guess.” you said suddenly and nestled in between his thighs, leaning your back against his chest. Couple of seconds later you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you.

“When we get back and you resurrect me, I wanna go to a concert. AC/DC, maybe.” you spoke up.

“And after that?”

“After that, I’m gonna get back to hunting monsters.”

You could feel his breath hitch in his throat.

“You were a hunter before… before you... got here?” the careful way how he was choosing his words made you smile.

“Yeah, I was. Then seven years ago a hunt went sideways, and I got turned into the very thing I hated the most.”

A heavy silence ensued.

“I never killed anybody, if that’s what you’re wondering.” you added “I got my shit together and continued hunting all the while living off of hospital blood bags. But some of my former hunter friends had doubts about me and voilá – I ended up here in the armpit of existence.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me, too… And what about you? What are you gonna do once you get back on the tracks?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

You couldn’t remember the end of your conversation as you fell asleep first. What you could remember, however, was that you had a dream for the first time since you became a resident in purgatory.

A few days later you collected Cas and carried on with your mission of finding the portal. Weeks went by with fighting beasts and torturing them to gain information regarding its exact location, but it all paid out in the end - you finally found it. You were beyond excited. When Dean opened his arms, you jumped into his embrace without thinking – and he kissed you without thinking. It was undeniably the best kiss of your life.

Dean kept his promise and brought you both back to life, but Cas stayed behind, which shattered him into a million pieces inside. You knew it, even though he never actually told you this. You could see in his mannerism and on the bad days, you could hear him utter Cas’ name while he was having a nightmare. You were absolutely clueless about how to alleviate his pain and felt utterly useless because of this. So, when Sam got stuck in purgatory on his way back from hell with Bobby Singer’s soul, you knew what your next offer to Dean would be. You’d let him behead you and you’d help Sam and Bobby find the portal just as you helped him. If you couldn’t heal his heart broken by his best friend, then the least you could do was preventing it from breaking even more because of losing his brother. Seeing that no other options were available, he reluctantly accepted your offer.

His hand is still in the air, shaking. If he does it, he’ll  lose the girl he loves to the lifestyle he’s leading once again. But if he does not do it, he’ll lose his brother.

“Just do it already, Dean!” you scream, opening your eyes.

The last two things you sense before it all goes dark are the flash of a blade and Dean’s sob.

[jadienjaystoriesandart]

The Arcana Halloween AU

So, I got really bored and decided to come up with ideas of what monster each character would be. In this AU, the apprentice/MC is the only human, and kind of is caught up with all these monsters/creatures as friends. Plus, they must make a choice on which one they want to be. Most of them have powers of hypnosis, as most monster always seem to have this theme. (Note: MC has NO IDEA they are monsters/creatures. XD) Asra: He is a toss up between a Naga and Vampire. Now, he doesn’t have a tail lower half, he can make himself have legs, but there is purple scales around his eyes and along his neck. His tongue is forked also and eyes slit like. Like Kaa from the Jungle Book, his powers lie in the fact his eyes can burst in colors to calm and relax a person. As a naga also, he is able to move faster with a tail, and has alot of strength not only in snake form but also in human. Also as a snake form, he has sharper teeth, scales mostly all around his eyes and two horns on his forehead with eyes turning to a magenta color. The vampire idea comes in with Julian and his once love. As in, Asra turns Julian into a vampire when they were together, thus explaining his power. He’d have stander array of vampire powers with the special one being Asra is able to go into sunlight, but is weaker and has no vampire traits. Hence his ‘Travel by Night’ idea Julian: So this guy is also a toss up between Bird Siren and Vampire. The Siren part is due to his reverse ending. He is able to sprout feathers to fly with and bird like legs. He is able to use singing as his power of hypnosis. It was originally made that Sirens weren’t mermaids, but actually bird people. The whole mermaid thing came with them luring sailors. With Julian, he’s a bird, not a fish, that’s another person. Julian also had hallow bones, making his faster, and his shriek can pretty much render a person motionless. Mostly due to how loud it is and how disruptive it can be. Good luck running away MC.  Oh, and he can grow a beak with deep furrows on his face and sunken in blackish red eyes.  The vampire one is mostly with his pair up once with Asra. Plus, Vampire Julian is hot. His special power would be his power to transfer wounds. And being a vampire, they don’t bleed and can’t really kill him as he has fast healing.

Nadia: I said we’d have a mermaid siren, so here she is. Nadia also have the power to bewitch with song, and in water can grow a tail that is about her height, albeit a bit shorter. That has golds, teals, and lavenders on it. Her face however in siren form is very scary, all sharp teeth, pointed ears, and glowing red eyes. She also gains claw like hands. Actually most of the monsters have a scary form, but make themselves pretty for luring prey. 

Portia: This baby girl is a Fae, nor fairy, Fae. Fae were considered trickster creatures with some dark shit about them. They would kidnap humans using their beauty and sometimes childishness and lure them away into the Fae/Fairy Realm, (Or in this case the Magical Realm) to hold captive their new interest and turn them into a love slave or just a slave in general. They loved to mess with people, and trick them into eating Fae/Fairy food in order for them to never leave. As once you ate their food, you would never be able to eat human food again.  However, their beauty often was a cover up to how demonic they actually looked. With deep wrinkles and crooked noses with fangs for both the upper and lower teeth. Sometimes even horns with dark auras and wings.  Though, it depended on the court they were apart of, Seelie or Unseelie. The second being the evil ones, but the first were known to still kidnap humans. And their season tended to be Spring and Summer for the Seelie and Winter and Fall for the Unseelie.  Oh, and if she finds out who true first name, she can pretty much make you do anything. But this works on her too as if you find out her true name you can make her do anything. Names how power to Fae and Fairies. 

Muriel: This big boy is a Werewolf, no questions asked. (Or maybe a Werebear XD). Transformations under the full moon turn him into a monster that hunts for pleasure or for hunger. Which would explain why he’s alone, and why only certain people are near him (As Asra is a monster too, vampire or not, they wouldn’t hate each other. As Asra can handle himself against Muriel during his transformation.) AS for his hypnotic power, most werewolves didn’t have one, save for how some vampires did. As in some myths if you look into a werewolves eyes they’d hunt you down o either kill or turn you into their pack mate. More so a hunter mark is anything else. But, unlike most monsters having tell tale signs on their body, it was hard to tell a werewolf from the crowd. Mureil’s monster form vs his handsome form is self explanatory. And though he is driven by hunger and bloodlust during the full moon, he is very much aware of himself to stay away from the city. Lucio: Oh boy, this guy is a Incubus Demon. Self explanatory, but for those who don’t know, he is a demon who craves sex. By draining a person dry of their sexual energy to stay young and beautiful. Using their beauty and seductive charm to claim on women, and sometimes men too. In his demonic form however, he has all sharp teeth, long ram horns from his forehead, burning red eyes and a scared up face, with a long flaming tail, much like a dogs, and pointed ears, with golden clawed hands. He lures in ladies and males with his charm to slowly drain them dry of their energy to keep himself young. And enjoys one night stands. His beauty bewitches a person’s mind into not really thinking about strange requests made of him. Such as, just met him why not go to his place, sort of deal. Names also have powers with demons, but Lucio isn’t his true name, and he’s smart enough not to give to people his true name or they can break his spell on them. 

So, good luck out their MC’s, and hopefully you don’t get killed by anyone. Plot is that your Asra’s apprentice in magic, but you also are human and have no idea about him or the others you know, being monsters/creatures. In this idea, they are the same, save for ow possessive, protective, or creepy they can be to your character. And the idea for each route is that you’ve notice something strange about said person, and want to know more. Thus slowly finding out what they are and if you fall in love with them or turn them over to a mod of angry citizens to be killed.  I have way to much freetime...

[ks-caster]

Get Out of Hell Free Card

Fandom(s): Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries

Characters: Dean Winchester, Katherine Pierce

Summary: Of all the terrible places to meet that special someone, hell has to be the worst. When a soul Dean encountered in the demonic sauna turns up topside in the wake of Lucifer’s escape, he’s not sure what to make of it. And Katherine, for her part, isn’t the sort to come back to life “for decorative purposes only.” She’s not out of tricks yet—and certainly isn’t out of enemies. 

“Wait a damn second, I read this one on fanfic a few years ago - and then it disappeared!” You sure did, internet stranger; I posted it drunk, updated a few times, then deleted it after realizing I’d never have the time to dedicate to it. Outline and first few chapters are available under the cut if anyone would like to take it over!

I’ll be the Name You Call Out at Night

Dean was choking, choking on the overwhelming stench of sulfur and ash and blood and iron. With each passing moment, his mind weighed in differently in the ongoing decision: to breathe in the noxious fumes or to empty the filth from his lungs and suffocate. Sometimes he breathed, then coughed and rasped out labored, excruciating breaths. Sometimes he didn’t, and his head swam in a pool of rancid, molasses-ey filth until he gave in and made another attempt to get some oxygen. 

The rough stone floor was familiar under his bare feet—cold and burning and covered in stones and blood and shards of who-knew-what-else; Dean had long ago gotten used to the fact that his feet would just always be bleeding, there was no getting around it. The gritty pain was a simple constant—a fact in the back of his mind, usually disregarded. All around him, the distorted echoes of screams repelled off the walls, forming a dizzying cacophony of collective agony. He inhaled again, holding the tainted breath a moment to try futilely to get used to it. His exhale was a loud, aching coughing fit.

Red light from fires and furnaces and demons’ burning eyes reflected eerily over every surface, and the deep shadows seemed to shift like living things, clinging to the walls in fear, trying not to be noticed. Chains hung from ceilings half shrouded in poison mist, filthy condensation dripping from the dark metal. There were people hanging, too, but they were undefined, just shapes of people, just a vague notion that there were human souls hanging all around him, trapped in endless suffering.

But one soul, one soul had a face.

Dean felt her before he saw her; her aura glowed against his back, and he smelled cinnamon and ozone and pinot noir.

“Dean,” she whispered, voice dry and broken and unsteady, either from disuse or constant screaming, he didn’t know.

“Dean,” she said again, almost a sob, almost a prayer, and he found he had to turn around; he couldn’t refuse her.

Her olive skin was spattered everywhere with blood and soot, riven open by wounds covering her body. Brown hair hung limply, coated in grease, shadowing her face. But her eyes… her huge, soulful brown eyes were perfectly discernable. 

“Dean.” She murmured his name once more, heavily, then flicked her gaze up to look into his eyes through a haze of blood and pain and tears.

“You left me here to burn,” she sobbed, voice shattering as she caught fire. Dean stood, rooted to the spot, struggling against the paralysis of invisible bonds as every cell in his body strained to run to her, to put out the fire, to do something. But all he could do was stand there and watch as the flames consumed her, melting off her flesh and charring her bones until there was nothing left of her but a brittle, blackened skeleton, still billowing smoke.

“You left me here to burn,” her voice echoed off of the walls, that one whisper somehow loud enough to drown out every scream in hell.

“You left me here to burn. 

Dean. 

Dean.”

“DEAN!”

Dean awoke with a choked gasp, rocketing out of bed and almost wrapping his hands around Sam’s throat, but stopping at the last moment as he regained his senses. 

“Sammy?” he asked in confusion, realizing belatedly that he was safe in his motel room, hadn’t been in hell for over a year, and had just awoken from a bad dream.

“You okay, Dean?” Sam asked in concern, sitting down on the edge of his brother’s bed as Dean let his hands drop limply to his sides and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He hadn’t had that dream in a while—he supposed, morbidly, that it was due time she turned up in his head again.

“I’m fine, Sam,” he responded reflexively, wondering how much tossing and turning he’d been doing. He glanced at the clock—it read 3:09am. The screen of Sam’s laptop glowed from its place on the table; Sam must’ve still been up, doing research or something. At least that meant he hadn’t been loud enough to wake him.

“You sure?” Sam asked, a shadow of his kicked-puppy face appearing as he stood awkwardly back up again. After their three-month separation, they’d only been back together a few days, and the amount of tension between them was escalating to new levels of horrible.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dean sighed, rubbing his face exhaustedly.

“You left me here to burn,” she screamed in his memory, and he shuddered. He heard Sam shuffle away, but before he could add pushing his brother away to the list of things he felt unforgivably guilty for that night, Sam’s footsteps returned, and a beer bottle appeared in his field of vision. He looked up a moment, then accepted it, bending the cap off with his ring and taking a long gulp of liquid calm.

“So,” Sam asked after taking a long swig of his own beer. “Who’s Katherine?”

Dean cursed himself internally. Apparently, he’d been talking in his sleep. Who knew what else Sam might’ve picked up?

“She’s no one,” he responded quickly, and then, before Sam could call him out on his obvious lie he added, “some girl I met years ago. A hot one.” The pale imitation of his normal shit-eating grin wouldn’t have fooled a seven-year-old child, and certainly not his remarkably perceptive, pain-in-the-ass little brother. But Sam just nodded, dropping the subject, and headed off to sit back down at his computer, his wide shoulders drooping, and head hanging a little more than usual.

Dean cursed himself again, pressing the beer bottle against his heated forehead. Of course Sam wasn’t going to push it—he wasn’t pushing anything, since Dean had invited him back. He’d been running himself ragged, like he was desperately trying to prove that he could do something right. Pushing him away was the last thing Dean had been going for.

Weren’t they supposed to be trusting each other, he wondered dejectedly?

“You left me here to burn,” Katherine screamed, her voice raging against the insides of his skull like an ocean storm trapped in a bottle.

“Hell,” he said quietly.

“What?” Sam asked, looking up.

“I met her...” Dean started in a low voice, glancing up to meet his brother’s eyes. “I met Katherine in hell.”

So, What’re You in For?

“It was my first day down there,” Dean began, then took a long draught of his beer, marveling at how much he sounded like a kid talking about a new school or some other innocuous activity. The whole thing was just to messed up to talk about—one of the many, many reasons why Dean religiously avoided the subject. He glanced up, meeting his brother’s eyes as he considered how much to tell him. Sam was unconsciously wringing his beer bottle between his hands, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned in, perfectly attentive. 

“I died. Then I woke up in hell, alone, chained up…” he trailed off, throat aching at the memory of screaming Sam’s name into the abyss, terror robbing him of reason as cold iron meat hooks dug into his flesh, preventing him even from struggling. He took another swig, then set the half empty bottle on the night stand.

“After a while,” he continued finally, “Alistair turned up. Introduced himself. Went to town on me.” He watched Sam flinch in empathy, and quickly continued, not wanting either of them to linger on that particular detail of the story. “When he was done for the day, he made me his offer for the first time—he’d take me off the rack if I put souls on. I told him to shove it up his ass, and he left, promising he’d be back bright and early in the morning…”

Dean went limp, the tiny spark of bravado he’d mustered in the end instantly drowned in the flood of pain from every part of his body. His breath was nothing more than a desperate sob; his wounds had wounds, and in spite of what he’d just said, he had no idea how he was going to survive another day of that torment, much less a month, much less a year, much less eternity. He couldn’t… he knew he couldn’t. But what was the alternative? He wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy; how could he do it to others? Strangers? People who could be just like him, doing whatever they had to do to save their loved ones. So what would happen, then? Overwhelmed, he let tears fall in rivers down his face and drip down his neck to mingle with the mess of blood and sweat that was his torso.

“You should probably reconsider that,” a dry voice suggested from somewhere off to his left. Turning his head slightly—well, more like letting it fall and hang in a slightly different direction. A curtain of chains obstructed his vision, but through the links of iron and permanent gloom, he spotted the shape of a blood-drenched, lower leg; feminine in shape, with olive toned skin. Then he noticed the shortened, mangled shape of a foot, and thought he spotted some little round things scattered over the floor. He shuddered, and stopped trying to look.

“Oh yeah?” he responded, gulping hard, and was mildly pleased when his voice came out as a raspy growl instead of a tear-filled cry.

“No one gets that offer on their first day,” the voice continued. “It’s reserved for souls who show potential. You might not be lucky enough to hear it again.”

Definitely a woman’s voice, he decided, although it sounded like she’d spent a month being force-fed sand. Maybe she had—this was hell, after all. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he shot back reflexively. “But I’d hate to give that bastard the satisfaction of joining his team on Day 1.”

She laughed, a short, dry, humorless bark of a laugh. 

“You’re a rare beast around these parts, kid.”

“So they tell me,” he replied wondering a little about the word ‘kid.’ She couldn’t see him any more than he could see her, so either she’d been an old lady when she died, or she’d been down here a long time.

“You got a name, rare beast?” she asked after a long silence.

“Dean,” he said. “Dean Winchester.”

“Winchester like the rifle?” she checked.

“Yep,” he confirmed. “Just like the rifle. You got a name, random hell roomie?” She laughed again, a single dry huff, just like before.

“‘Hell roomie?’ Who talks like that? What are you, a sorority girl from crappy horror-college-sitcom?”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Dean groused. But the acerbic banter was like a breath of clean air amid the unendurable fumes of hell. He was starting to feel like himself again. It wasn’t much, but it was good, and there was precious little good down in the pit.

“My name by birth is Katerina Petrova,” she introduced herself. “But later in life, I went by Katherine. Katherine Pierce.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Kitty-Kat,” Dean responded. “Although under the circumstances, I guess that’s more of an insult than anything else.”

“I suppose it’s all relative,” Katherine allowed. “So, first day in the pit, huh? What year is it up there?”

“2008. May 2nd,” Dean added. Sam’s birthday… his heart twisted. What had happened to Sam? He’d left him all alone with Lilith and a hungry hellhound. What if…? He had to halt that train of thought—he couldn’t bear it.

“So,” he continued, casting around for something—anything—to say. “What’re you in for?”

“Come again?” Katherine asked, apparently confused.

“What’d you sell your soul for?” he clarified. “I brought my little brother back from the dead. Got swindled, too—I only got one year to live after the deal went down.”

“Huh,” Katherine replied. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “Understatement of the century. So, what about you, huh? Sell your soul for money, or for love?”

This time, Katherine laughed for real. It was still dry, still broken, but it was a deep, full-bellied laugh.

“Oh, Winchester,” she said once she’d gotten ahold of herself. “You really are a rare beast. Guess that explains it though—not many actual good people wind up down here.

“What am I in for?” she repeated after a pause. “I did bad things to good people.” 

The Bitter Aftertaste of Home

“Sam!” Dean screamed, straining against invisible bonds as, nearly blinded by tears, he watched helplessly while Alistair slowly flayed off what must’ve been the hundredth piece of his brother’s skin. Sam’s screams had reached inhuman levels, and Dean would’ve shed his own skin inch by inch with a smile on his face, done anything, suffered anything, to make it stop.

“He’s not as pretty on the inside,” Alistair murmured as he peeled off the flesh of Sam’s index finger like a glove. 

“Please,” Dean begged pathetically. “Please, you have me, hurt me, torture me, not him!”

“Now why would I do that,” Alistair purred, “when I can hurt you so much more by hurting him? It’s ironic,” he continued, moving on to Sam’s middle finger, “that you sold your soul to save him, and then you let him get dragged down here too…” 

Dean was speechless with horror, but before he could respond—or vomit—the scene in front of him distorted, and someone was standing between him and the horror show. He’d never seen her before—a twenty-something woman with long brown curls and olive-toned skin

“Relax, Winchester” she said, and he knew her voice. “You’re dreaming.” Even if he’d only heard it for the first time last week, there was no mistaking the only non-demonic, non-screaming voice he’d heard in hell. As his mind started to make connections, he realized he could see right through everything around him. He blinked, and Sam and Alistair vanished. 

Katherine lingered for a moment, vague and shifting, like colored smoke suggesting a human shape. He blinked again, and she was gone. He was staring at a blood-spattered stone wall, a rack of torture instruments, and a blissfully empty room. No Alistair, no Sam, no Katherine. He turned his head, glancing out the corner of his eye to the olive-skinned leg that was all of her he’d ever seen in person.

“What the hell was that?” he gasped out, voice weak from relief. 

“That, Winchester, was what we call a ‘poison paradise dream,’” she explained. “When they get bored with us, or need a break, sometimes they send one down the pipes. Can’t torture someone who has nothing left to lose.” He couldn’t see her shrug, but he heard it in her voice.

‘Poison paradise…’ it was aptly named. He’d been at Bobby’s waking up from a nap on the couch, Sam had been tickling his nose with a feather duster to make him sneeze himself conscious, and as soon as he did, he’d launched himself at the bigger man. Bobby had walked in on a massive jumble of tangled limbs and plaid flannel and denim, called them both “idjits,” and then promptly dropped dead when Alistair stabbed him from behind. Needless to say, it had all gone quickly downhill from there.

“Thanks for the wakeup call,” he murmured.

“Don’t mention it,” she responded. “It was accidental.” Dean’s relief was too potent for him to care. But after a while of silence while he caught his breath, he started to get curious.

“I saw you,” he said in confusion. “How come I could see you?”

She didn’t answer for so long that he gave up and figured she just wouldn’t tell him. But eventually, she spoke up again.

“Genetically speaking, I’m a witch,” she sighed. “I come from a line of creepy mofo’s called ‘travelers.’ Also, for most of my considerably long life I was a vampire,” she added, like it was an afterthought.

“Sorry, WHAT?” Dean choked out. Of all things, ‘vampire’ was not what he’d been expecting.

“You heard me the first time,” she snapped. “Born a witch, but never practiced, spent 500-some years as a vampire, then because of a crazy fluke, I died a human. Instead of running around purgatory with the rest of the magical maniacs, I got sent down here. Joy. Anyhow, I still have some low-level ESP. Enough to take the occasional field trip into other people’s minds. Not that it does me any good—everything in hell is suffering. A change of scenery doesn’t really help.”

“Purgatory?” Dean asked in confusion, not even sure where to start with what she’d just dropped on him, so he latched onto the most unfamiliar thing and went with it. 

“Like Valhalla for monsters,” she explained with a sigh. “Lots of fighting, lots of forest, all monster, all the time. No humans allowed. No hunters, though. And no dungeons… You get the idea.”

“So… if you’d died a vampire, you would’ve wound up there, ‘stead of here?”

“Yup,” she responded, popping the ‘p.’

“Monster Valhalla?” Sam repeated, finishing off his beer and setting the empty bottle down. Dean almost laughed. His brother was doing the exact same thing—latching onto the most unfamiliar thing in a heaping pile of unfamiliar, confusing things.

“Yeah, apparently,” Dean responded, returning from the refrigerator, another pair of bottles strung between his fingers. He handed one to Sam, who took it and deftly whacked it open on the edge of the table. Dean had censored some, especially about the content of his poison paradise dream, but he’d tried to at least be mostly honest. 

“It took her a long time to tell me about herself—wasn’t exactly a great environment for sharing and caring. But I got the picture in bits and pieces. She was born in Bulgaria, got herself turned into a vampire when some grade-A fugly bastard tried to use her for a blood-sacrifice, spent the next five centuries or so as one of the worst fang-bangers this world has ever seen. Ate and stole and murdered her way across the world, always running from the family of creeps who wanted to kill her as a human. Then somehow she got turned back human, and one of her many enemies killed her,” he finished.

“Spent her life being the baddest of the bad… she earned herself a one-way ticket downstairs. You know… she was everything that we’ve always hated,” he sighed. “She was a monster, even among monsters. But down there… well, she wasn’t kidding about me being a ‘rare beast.’” He laughed humorlessly, and took a long drink.

“It wasn’t like we became besties, or anything,” he sighed. “Again, not exactly the environment for it. But… sometimes we’d talk. And in a world of screams, that meant something. Three more times, she broke into my head and pulled me out of a nightmare, and in a place like that…” he swallowed dryly, and took a shallow sip to wet his throat. “There wasn’t a lot of what you could call kindness floating around,” he muttered, gripping his bottle a little tighter. “So she really stood out, y’know?” he trailed off lamely.

There was no good way to explain it—not to someone who had never been to hell. And even now, Dean knew that he’d throw himself headfirst back down in the pit before ever letting Sam have the kind of experience that would let him really, truly understand what someone like Katherine had meant to him. 

“I’m hardly going to judge you for your friendships, Dean,” Sam responded when the silence dragged on into awkwardness. “Especially not under the circumstances.” Dean nodded, for lack of a more intelligent response.

“After about a year or so,” he continued heavily, “Alistair figured out that having her around was a comfort for me, so he had her moved.” Not before he’d wheeled her in, and exercised every iota of his considerable sadistic creativity to destroy her, over and over, until the image of her agonized face was seared into Dean’s eyelids. And then for months afterwards, he’d try to actually carve her picture, into whatever part of Dean’s body suited his fancy the best. “Once in a while, she’d turn up in my dreams though. I was never sure how much was her doing ESP crap, and how much was just twisted hell dreams, but I saw her a few more times over the years.”

“After I… well, once I was able to walk around a little more,” he whispered, then cleared his throat and continued in a stronger voice, “I tried to find her sometimes. Couldn’t tell you why, exactly; soothe my conscience, idle curiosity… maybe it was because, even though she was basically a horrible person, she wasn’t a demon, and I just wanted someone to talk to. Someone who… someone who was as bad as me.” His throat ached, and his eyes felt threateningly moist. No matter how much time passed, no matter what he did, he knew he’d never be able to forgive himself for what he’d done in hell. Especially now that he knew that his actions had been the catalyst for the apocalypse. 

Before Sam could interrupt with some kind, gentle words that he would barely be able to hear, much less accept, he cleared his throat again and pressed on.

“I never found her,” he gulped out, sounding almost steady. “I found out much later that Alistair had her sent to a deeper circle, probably closer to the cage. I’m glad I didn’t find her. After all, if I had…” he stared pensively at his open palm, wondering what they might have made him do to her—wondering if he would have done it.

“Anyway, that’s who Katherine is,” he sighed, clenching his fist and refusing to meet Sam’s compassionate gaze. “So, sometimes I… I guess I dream about her. Y’know, the subconscious does what it wants. Besides… she was hot.” He swallowed, remembering her astral-projected self; thick brown curls framing her face, thumbs stuck casually into her pants pockets as she eyed him with one perfectly manicured eyebrow arched heavenwards. 

“Relax, Winchester, you’re dreaming,” her voice echoed in her head, vaguely and without the urgency of his dream, but the memory remained. The evil vampire who’d kept him sane, and the four simple words that had been his salvation when things had been at the very worst.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he announced, bolting to his feet before Sam could ask any further questions. This had been a mistake to talk about, he was sure of it. He knew that Sam was overflowing with well-meaning compassion and brotherly love, but whenever Dean so much as thought about hell, he felt filthy, so filthy… he couldn’t accept anything that Sam was going to try and do to make him feel better, and even if he could, he was afraid that somehow he would taint him with the stain of hell. He shuddered as he almost ran into the bathroom, and struggled to turn on the shower delicately, rather than ripping the handle off the wall.

When the Sun Rises and the Dream Fades

“It’s more demonic omens than I’ve ever seen in my life,” Bobby’s voice signed from his end of the phone. 

“Probably par for the course these days,” Sam murmured, remembering the situation with [those hunter assholes.]

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Dean called, over the road noise.

“Be careful, idjits,” Bobby called back.

“You sure you’re up for this, Sammy?” Dean asked after Sam hung up the phone. Sam nodded wordlessly, knowing that he was up for anything if it meant stopping this horrible thing he’d started, and getting back into his brother’s good graces. Dean braced the steering wheel with his knee so he could check his gun one more time, then holstered it and accelerated as the highway approached the small town. According to Bobby’s intel, half the town had been possessed, leading to bloody, destructive revels and the death and maiming of many of the remaining human residents. Sam fiddled with Ruby’s knife, eyes trained on the buildings as they drew nearer, listening for anything out of the ordinary. 

However, the first sound they could pick up over the growl of the Impala’s engine was a human voice, sounding like it was over a loudspeaker. Dean frowned, rolling down the window as the words of an exorcism became clearer and clearer, and as they entered the town, a great black cloud rose up from hundreds of points, swirling together before dissipating as the demons were flung back into hell.

“...I guess someone got here first?” Dean muttered, parking the Impala and getting out, watching as people ran out of the buildings, some bleeding, some with pale, drawn faced and bloody hands, embracing loved ones or apologizing profusely for acts committed while possessed. 

“Where could they have broadcasted that from?” Sam asked, following him out of the car and frowning. “It had to be audible for miles.” The brothers exchanged glances, then opened the trunk to retrieve their FBI suits.

-0-

“Far as I can tell,” the exhausted city worker explained as she led them through city hall, “that weird latin prayer thing had to come from here; but I can’t imagine how they could have pulled it off. It’s not like we have a giant speaker system in this building or anything.”

“Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Ramirez,” Sam said politely. “We just need to take a quick look around, then we’ll be out of your hair.”

As they entered the elevator and the door slid shut, Dean glanced at his brother out of the corner of his eye.

“I sense a theory,” he commented. Sam nodded.

“Well, yeah. They do have a giant speaker system. Actually, every town has a giant speaker system in a central area.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, frowning.

“Storm sirens,” Sam shrugged. “I think whoever is responsible for this must’ve hooked up an exorcism to play through the weather alert system.”

“Smart, little brother,” Dean commented with a nod as the elevator played a tone to announce their arrival on the top floor.

+They look for the hunters responsible among the pandemonium, but eventually just find a laptop hooked up to the town’s storm siren system, with an exorcism that finished playing some time ago. A dude comes for his laptop, they introduce themselves, they all shake hands, he says he’s with a group called the Hellions and they’ve been basically cleaning up the recent demon messes. He says the group doesn’t really get involved with other hunters, though, and he shrugs them off and leaves. 

+They follow him, but lose him a few towns over. They stop at a bar, and lo and behold, they see the dude, and a party of people drinking, and Katherine Pierce, in the flesh, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle. 

+She makes eye-contact with Dean, who silently panics because seeing her means he’s asleep and about to wake up, possibly in hell since the dream is so vivid. She walks over to him and says, “Relax, Winchester. You’re completely awake this time.”

Outline:

[4] Chapter 1, I’ll be the Name You Call Out at Night: Dean has a nightmare about hell, and at the end, he sees Katherine (description only) who says “you left me here to burn.” She catches fire in front of him, and he reaches for her only to awaken with a start, safe in his motel room, Sam typing away at his computer. Set context (approximately which episode it is) and state that Dean and Sam are only recently back together, so things are awkward. But Sam tosses him a beer, knowing that he’s had a nightmare. He asks who Katherine is. (Katerina?) Dean says she’s no one—some girl he met a long time ago, a hot one… Sam drops it, but then Dean remembers that they’re supposed to be trusting each other, and he speaks up after a long silence. “Hell. I met her in hell.”

[4] Chapter 2, So, What’re You In For?: Dean describes his first day in hell. Alistair had introduced himself, and then gone to town on Dean—Dean trails off and refuses to describe that. He ends with the question Alistair asked every day, to which he replied “shove it up your ass.” Alistair left, and he went limp, exhausted and afraid of tomorrow. Then he hears a voice from a rack off to his left and a little aside, hidden by hanging chains and a rack of tools. He can see a pair of olive-skinned legs, female, covered in blood and ending in feet [with the toes cut off. Maybe he just says they seemed weirdly small until he realized… and then he doesn’t say more, or only implies it? Is that more or less graphic?] The voice says he should probably be smarter about that—no one gets that offer on their first day. It’s reserved for souls who show potential. He may not be lucky enough to hear it again. He says [something] and they converse a little. He introduces himself, and she does as well—but I haven’t decided if she’ll say Katherine or Katerina. She clarifies his last name, “Winchester, like the rifle?” and from then on calls him “Winchester.” He asks what she’s in for, and she’s confused. He says he sold his soul to bring his brother back from the dead. Katherine laughs and says that explains it.  Good people are pretty rare down here. What am I in for? She laughs again. “I did bad things to good people.” 

[4] Chapter 3, The Bitter Aftertaste of Home: Opens with another flashback—Dean having a Poison Paradise dream—vivid dreams to torment souls when their torturers took breaks. Dreams of home where everything’s perfect and then everything goes wrong, dreams of loved ones dying, worst memories relived, that sort of thing. He has one, and it’s horrific, until a woman he’s never seen before—and she stands out, specifically because he’s never seen her before—turns up and tells him he’s dreaming. “Relax, Winchester. You’re dreaming.” He wakes up, she explains how those work, and when he asks how the hell she got into his head, she says she used to be a vampire, and had a hereditary witch gene, and still retains some low-level ESP (not that it does me much good down here). He can’t for the life of him figure out how he feels about that. Cut to the present, have Dean summarize the rest of their relationship. They would speak in the evenings—if one could call them evenings—when they weren’t both completely exhausted. Once in a while, she’d appear in his dreams. It wasn’t like they’d become BFFs or anything—but in a situation like that, anything good really stands out. After the first year, Alistair figures out that having Katherine nearby is somehow a comfort for Dean, so he has her moved. Once every few years, though, she’d turn up in his dreams. One time she even completely restructured one of them so that they were basically out on a date instead of whatever was happening before. But he’s so far gone that he wonders if that was even her, or if hell’s just finding a new way to mess with his head. During his time as a torturer, he’d look for her once in a while, he doesn’t know why—to assuage his conscience, maybe? To have someone who was also—by her own admission—a completely horrible person, but who wasn’t a demon, who wasn’t all the way gone, to talk to? He’s not sure. But he never found her. He found out later that Alistair had her transferred to a deeper circle, closer to the cage. He says he dreams about her sometimes now that he’s out. He tries to brush it off as nothing, but thinking about her and thinking about hell has shaken him pretty badly. He goes to the bathroom to take a shower, and tries his damndest not to punch a hole in the wall.

[4] Chapter 4, When the Sun Rises and the Dream Fades: Dean and Sam hear about a bunch of people who were possessed in a town, and they head over, only to find out that there was a mass exorcism already. They look for the hunters responsible among the pandemonium, but eventually just find a laptop hooked up to the town’s storm siren system, with an exorcism that finished playing some time ago. A dude comes for his laptop, they introduce themselves, they all shake hands, he says he’s with a group called [name] and they’ve been basically cleaning up the recent demon messes. He says the group doesn’t really get involved with other hunters, though, and he shrugs them off and leaves. They follow him, but lose him a few towns over. They stop at a bar, and lo and behold, they see the dude, and a party of people drinking, and Katherine Pierce, in the flesh, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle. She makes eye-contact with Dean, who silently panics because seeing her means he’s asleep and about to wake up, possibly in hell since the dream is so vivid. She walks over to him and says, “Relax, Winchester. You’re completely awake this time.” 

[1/4.5] Chapter 5, Out of the Frying Pan: Flashback to Katherine in hell, thinking about Dean Winchester and his ridiculous, depressing, pathetic, beautiful, impossible, self-sacrificing love for his brother. She spent half a millennium trying to find that kind of a love, but now it occurs to her, what might happen if she could love people the way he did? What if she could disregard herself and just do what she needed to do to protect the people she cared about? Not a sappy, weepy love like Elena Gilbert, but an iron-strong, undefeatable love, like Dean. What might she be like? Not that she has much opportunity for love in hell. When she hears the demons whispering, however, she figures out that Dean broke the first seal. When Castiel breaks in to rescue Dean, there’s pandemonium, and Katherine almost escapes. She winds up transferred even lower—to the inner circle. But she realizes that if the first seal is broken, once the rest go, the cage right next to her will pop open and all hell will break loose—literally. That would be fantastic cover for an escape. She starts telling every soul she meets. If all of them try to break out, then the disoriented and distracted demons can only deal with so many of them—some, at least, will escape. Finally, after over a century of planning and spreading the word, it happens, and thousands of souls break out. A few hundred actually make it, including Katherine. Part-way through communicating the plan, though, she’d started telling people to meet up once they were out. She meets with her comrades and tells them that they’re out of the frying pan, but headed right back into the fire if no one stops Lucifer. Clearly, they’re not the nicest bunch of people in the world, but since they happen to LIVE there, and don’t really relish the thought of hell on earth, they need to come up with a plan. Self-preservation is a great motivator. Flash forward to Katherine talking to the boys, explaining the seals. They’re carving seals in sets of two at 666 strategic points around the world. The first set is to re-seal the devil. The second set is a nuclear option. It’ll wipe out all magic and turn every magical creature within range human. But it’s a one-off, and any demons and angels still in heaven or hell won’t be affected. Now they just need a way to get the devil back into the cage long enough to close the door on his ass. She says if the boys have any ideas about that, they should give her a call. Sam feels relief because at least he did one slightly good thing in releasing these people who were theoretically going to help save the world. Still, he’s moody and broody, and goes back to the motel after a while. Dean and Katherine catch up, and wind up having sex in the woods. For a casual screw against a tree, Dean finds it to be pretty spectacular.

[5.5] Chapter 6, Please Don’t Raise the Bar: After Paris Hilton tries to murder the boys and Dean gets better about trusting Sam, they run into Katherine again, setting up the seals in a nearby town. She hangs out with them at a bar and while Dean goes off to take a call, she gets Sam talking. Sam admits how incredibly guilty he feels about all the shit that happened. “Okay, Sammy, I’m gonna stop you right there.” “It’s Sam.” “Whatever. You need to stop running your mouth about how all this apocalypse bullshit is ‘your fault.’ Thousands of angels, demons and humans contributed to this. You did not do this; you were just the patsy. Somehow you are simultaneously showing more hubris than any human I’ve ever met AND setting an unrealistic standard for ACTUAL bad people. And as a proud villain of 500-odd years, I refuse to try and live up to you and your ridiculously oversized conscience. Seriously, your morals match your height.” Katherine goes on to tell him that if he wants to do what he can to try and rectify this situation that thousands of people made and that cannot be fixed by one person alone, then by all means, he should do so, but that if he doesn’t, if he wants to walk away, it isn’t even actually his problem—there are people working on it. He should assume he’s required to stay to “clean up his mess;��� that’s actually him running away from figuring out what he actually wants/should do. And she would know all about running away. After some further thought and conversation, Sam admits that he just wants to keep his brother safe, no matter what. Katherine gives him shit about how ridiculously pure he is, but says she kinda’ gets it. “The world must’ve been a shitty place for the four months that Dean Winchester wasn’t in it.” Sam says, choked up, that it was, it really was. Dean comes back from the call and Sam says that he needs some air, so he’s going to walk back to the motel. Dean offers to give Katherine a ride back to where her people are staying. He says that Sam seemed… lighter, somehow. She responds that she just told him the honest truth. He thanks her, they talk a little, then wind up having sex in the Impala. (This is where she gets pregnant. It’s September 14th 2009.)

[7.5] Chapter 7, Title: After Dean returns to his proper age, he straight up wants to have hot sex and remind himself that he’s young again—but instead of hitting on either of the perky bartenders, he finds himself thinking specifically of Katherine. He booty calls her, and Sam stays at Bobby’s while Dean drives across two states to meet her. They get a room this time, at the Doubletree Hotel. (Cut away to Sam and Bobby or something, because there’s another scene with them after the sex scene that I’m not showing.) After their lovemaking, they’re laying in bed, talking, kissing and cuddling—maybe she’s giving him a sexy massage? And he notices a little empty vial on the end-table. He asks what it is, and she says it’s vampire blood—a gift from a friend. She explains that she’s been taking a vial every day in case of emergencies. She says she’s not in a hurry to return to hell. Although normally Dean would have been horrified that she’s planning on going back to being a vampire, his perspective has changed, both from hell and because he realizes that, for some perverse reason, he trusts her. In the morning when Dean wakes up, Cas and Sam are there—Cas grabbed Sam and appeared in Dean’s hotel room with no preamble. Katherine wraps herself up in Dean’s discarded shirt and goes to take a shower while the men talk. Cas is there to talk about a new cult of people who broke out of hell and the way they threatened to make all magical creatures mortal, and even showed off their power in a small segment of the world to prove they were serious. He’s all worried about it, especially their leader, who he says is a legend for all the terrible things she did while she was alive, and how all the other magical creatures hate her. Sam starts to look uncomfortable, and Dean realizes that they’re talking about Katherine, and that Sam hasn’t said anything about who Katherine is. Katherine herself comes out of the shower, but fails to tell Castiel who she is. 

[8] Chapter 8, Title: Katherine is with the boys when they seek out the Trickster (Gabriel) for help and whatnot—so she goes to TV land with them.

[9] Chapter 9, Title: While the boys are rushing to Chuck’s aid, only to discover that Becky called them to a Supernatural convention, Katherine gets into some pretty hot water on her own, and someone shoots her in the head. Luckily she has vampire blood in her system, as per her plan, so she wakes up in transition. However, some hunters (either Walt and Roy, who eventually shoot Sam and Dean in episode 16, or Tim and Reggie, who tried to get Sam to drink Demon blood in episode 3) find her as she’s waking up, and she doesn’t want to get killed immediately, so, knowing that she has 24 hours to get human blood in her system, she plays along as the frightened trauma survivor, waiting for a chance to slip away. However, they suspect her, and things get complicated. She barely escapes, and is stumbling around trying to find her way to the hospital to raid a blood bank—she’s been a lot more moral since coming back from the dead—but a guy tries to sexually assault her, and she thanks him (basically for being such an irredeemable bastard) before stabbing him in the throat and sucking on the cut. (Alternatively, she calls Dean, telling him she’s gonna transition and wants to tell him what he means to her while he’ll still listen to her, while she’s still human. He asks her how long she can wait, and then hangs up and drives to meet her. He lets her drink his blood.)

[9.5] Chapter 10, Title: Katherine realizes later that she has no idea how to tell Dean she’s a vampire again. She expected to be happy being a vampire again—she hated being mortal—but then she realizes that she’ll probably lose Dean over this; she remembers how uncomfortable he seemed when she admitted she’d been drinking vampire blood. She didn’t think she’d be this afraid to lose him, since they’ve only hooked up a few times, and it’s not like they’re actually in a relationship, but he means more to her than just some guy, than a boyfriend… she doesn’t know what he is to her. He’s her inspiration, he’s the person who changed her life. He’s the first soul that really touched hers. He calls her after the Supernatural convention, wanting to kind of rant about the con, and people having memorized their life story in detail, but also not sure how he feels about the fact that he’s an inspiration to so many. She gets unexpectedly choked up, and he’s trying to ask her what’s wrong, but she hangs up, can’t bring herself to tell him. (This one only if option 1 for the previous chapter.)

[10] Chapter 11, Title: x The Hell-Raisers (what is her cult called?!?!) have a presence in the “kill Lucifer” episode. Dean finds out that Katherine is a vampire again. Also, she starts noticing that her tastes have changed radically—they’re all messed up and she’s craving everything under the sun. She chalks it up to vampirism, a second time around. Possibly she confronts Lucifer, and he actually tells her she should be more careful with her life.

[x] Chapter x, Title: x

Katherine discovers that as a pregnant vampire, she can feel the dreams of her babies.

Also something happens to make it questionable whether or not the global spell will work, although the seals should still be functioning.

[x] Chapter x, Title: x

[17.5] Chapter x, Title: After the Whore of Babylon and Dean decides he’s going to give himself up to save the world and also make sure Sammy doesn’t, it’s Katherine he goes to see for his farewell tour. In a previous conversation, she’d said, “what are the chances we both survive this? What happens to our kids?” He tells Katherine he’s going to surrender, and tells her to get somewhere safe. She says that she acquired a spell to psychically link the twins so that no matter what happens, no matter who they lose, they’ll never be alone. On the one hand, Dean thinks this is weird, but on the other, he’s getting used to the fact that his little family, whether it’s his brother or himself or his girlfriend or his kids and their nebulously magical heritage, IS pretty weird. He gives her a vial of his blood for the spell. After he leaves, intending to surrender, Katherine becomes increasingly frustrated because it was supposed to be her taking the bullet this time—but she also needs to protect her kids, so she can’t keep them safe and also martyr herself to save the world—besides which, it’s now a 50-50 shot with the humanization spell.

For the purposes of this fic, Katherine died in 2002, because Dean died May 2nd, 2008. For every month of death, 10 years pass in hell, so she’s been down there for over 700 years.

[marigoldbaker]

arch-nemeses

read it on ao3!

“Oi, wanker,” Ripper was shouting after him, “your band can’t play for shit, you know that?”

Spike turned, long coat whirling out in a way that combined grace and manliness, and shot back, “My band plays a damn sight better than your band. What do they call you? Wretched? Sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

for @jackalopingintothevoid!!! i’m pretty sure you’ll know what this is from the summary.

this is a horribly short thing, and i will have to eventually write u one or more very long fics, bc i have a few ideas. left u a longer note on ao3; love u bunches <33

there is no actual resolution or character growth because this is ethan and he learns nothing, ever. i love him.

Ethan wasn’t threatened by Ripper’s girl. He’d met her a handful of times, showing up to cause a bit of havoc just because he felt like it, and she’d always struck him as a girl with an uninterestingly kind heart, which didn’t really threaten him. He wasn’t bothered by Ripper having some annoyingly pretty little angel of a girlfriend, largely because he knew that he was still Ripper’s unbelievably sexy arch-nemesis, and really, that worked better for him. All the delicious sexual tension, the lingering animosity…it suited him much better than the nauseating domesticity that was Ripper and his girl.

And then came Spike.

“You fucking ponce,” Ripper was shouting as Ethan entered the Bronze, held back by his Slayer, his girl, and that annoying boy who was always wearing heelys. “You dye your hair, you piece of shit, c’mere and tell me to my face that I’m a poser!”

“Seriously?” said Ripper’s girl, who appeared to be trying to hold Ripper back and check her Snapchat at the same time.

Ethan, of course, operated under the reasonable assumption that these threats were directed at him. After all, who else would Ripper be threatening? No one else inspired that level of anger, or that delightfully sexy look of bone-crushing fury in Ripper’s eyes—

“You’re. A. Poser.” A British bloke with bleached hair, unbelievable cheekbones, and a clearly-vintage leather jacket stalked over to Ripper, all but growling. “And don’t get all up in my face with me, Watcher-boy, I could snap you like a twig!”

“You’re not half as able to snap me as you think you are,” Ripper shot back.

“You sure you don’t wanna just compare dicks and be done with it?” snarked Ripper’s girl, adding a determined tug to Ripper’s arm for emphasis. “Rupert, seriously, this is such a waste of time—”

“Fuck off, Janna,” said Ripper.

“What was that?” said Ripper’s girl, raising an eyebrow.

To Ethan’s amusement, Ripper winced, reconsidered, and said solemnly, “I love you, Janna.”

“That’s better,” said Ripper’s girl. “Spike, do you really have to start this bullshit after he’s had a few beers? He always starts getting punchy when he drinks—”

“I have had more than a few beers,” Spike announced, “and I should like to punch something. And I think it should like to be your boy toy’s face.”

“I’m not her boy toy,” Ripper objected. Behind him, the Slayer and the heely-boy exchanged doubtful looks. “And I’m gonna punch your face first. With my face.”

“Does that mean they’re gonna make out?” the Slayer asked Ripper’s girl.

In response, Ripper’s girl smirked, sort of shrugged, and went back to her phone, as though this sort of confrontation between Ripper and Spike was par for the course. And that infuriated Ethan, because how dare Ripper have regular confrontations with someone who wasn’t him? He’d barely been out of Sunnydale for two months this go-round, and this time he had something really terrible up his sleeve, and now he was here only to find Ripper ready to fight and/or drunkenly snog someone who wasn’t him?

It was time for direct action. Ethan strode up to the group. “Hello, Ripper,” he began, flashing his most winning smile.

Ripper, however, didn’t so much as turn around, because Spike was stalking away in the direction of the stage. “Oi, wanker,” Ripper was shouting after him, “your band can’t play for shit, you know that?”

Spike turned, long coat whirling out in a way that combined grace and manliness, and shot back, “My band plays a damn sight better than your band. What do they call you? Wretched? Sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

“IT’S A FUCKING STATEMENT,” shouted Ripper, and took advantage of his friends’ distraction to charge after Spike. Grinning furiously, Spike shoved his way through the crowds, jumping up onto the stage before Ripper could reach him.

“Yeah, I’d give that one up if I were you,” said Ripper’s girl, smirking at him like she knew what he was trying to do.

“Go fuck yourself,” said Ethan.

“Always good to see you, Ethan,” said Ripper’s girl, whose name Ethan was still refusing to remember. “Sucks that Ripper isn’t paying attention to you, huh?”

“He’s not paying attention to you either,” Ethan shot back savagely.

“Of course he isn’t,” said Ripper’s girl, looking at Ethan like he was a complete idiot. “He and Spike have this whole weird thing. He and I have a whole not-weird thing. It’s a thing.”

“Yeah, Ethan, get with the times!” piped up heely-boy. Ethan really, really hated heely-boy.

“I’m his weird thing,” Ethan persisted. “Not this Spike pillock. That accent is rubbish, and that coat is a fake, and, and, cheekbones,” he finished furiously, glaring at the stage. Spike was playing the drums very badly and pretending to ignore Ripper, who was jumping up and down in the crowd just to repeatedly flip him the bird.

“Aww,” said Ripper’s girl. “Are you jealous?”

“Shut up,” said Ethan.

“You so are!” said Ripper’s girl. She was grinning like Christmas had come early. “You think your position as his idiot arch-nemesis is usurped by a guy who looks way cuter than you!”

The Slayer gagged. “Jenny,” she said, “I have said this before, and I will say it again: you have terrible taste in guys.”

“I’m not saying Spike is cute,” said Ripper’s girl. “I’m saying, objectively, as a guy, he looks incredibly attractive.”

The Slayer considered this, then nodded. “Fair enough,” she said.

“He is not attractive,” said Ethan. “You could cut glass with those cheekbones. He looks emaciated.”

“He’s a vampire,” said heely-boy helpfully. “That kinda adds a good twenty points to the hotness factor.”

“Well—that’s—I could be a vampire!” Ethan sputtered.

“Yeah, but you’d actually look emaciated,” said the Slayer. “Spike was probably born with those cheekbones.”

“You’re just talking him up to make me angry,” said Ethan stubbornly. “He’s boring. Anyone can prance about onstage with a guitar—”

“Wait wait wait shut up,” said Ripper’s girl, smacking Ethan’s arm and holding up her phone. Ripper was throwing empty plastic cups at Spike. “I need this on video,” said Ripper’s girl.

Ethan stared, infuriated. “HE’S PROVOKING A VAMPIRE,” he shouted. “AND NONE OF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY IT?”

“Spike and Ripper cut a deal,” said the Slayer. “Kind of. He doesn’t feed on people in the Bronze, and I don’t stake him when he’s onstage playing his loud, annoying band music.”

“Plus he has a pretty serious girlfriend,” added Ripper’s girl. “They’re really cute. You know. For a murdery vampire couple.” She smiled a little. “Dru gave me a dead bird once.”

“I am not threatened,” said Ethan. “I am not threatened by Mr. Cheekbones and his stupid drums.”

“Suuuure,” said Ripper’s girl, drawing the word out into an American drawl and ending it with a lipsticked grin.

Ethan Was Not Threatened By Mr. Cheekbones And His Stupid Drums. Ethan could set a whole bunch of things on fire, more than bloody Spike and his bloody leather jacket and how dare Ripper throw empty plastic cups at Spike? Throwing relatively harmless objects at each other was strictly Ripper-And-Ethan territory, not Ripper-And-Spike territory, and Spike should go step into a well-placed ray of sunlight.

He made himself feel better by turning all the toothbrushes in Sunnydale’s local dollar store into flesh-eating slugs that grew every five minutes.

“Ethan, for the love of fucking god,” said Ripper, rounding the corner with a flesh-eating slug somehow affixed to his jacket, “what is the point of this?”

“Chaos,” said Ethan, tried to whirl in that graceful-yet-manly way Spike had managed, and fell into a lamppost.

“Yeah, I figured that,” said Ripper, waving his arm to try and shake off the slug. It didn’t seem to be working. “But your plans are usually more—”

“Dramatic?”

“I would’ve gone with fucking obnoxious, but fine.” Ripper waved his arm again. The slug came off and hit a wall, growing by a good five feet in diameter and leaving a small crater in the cement. “Dramatic works just as well, I s’pose. Why the fuck—”

“It was the first thing I could think of,” said Ethan. “Not exactly up to par, but then you seem to have lowered your standards, haven’t you?”

“Is this another dig at Jenny?” said Ripper sharply, already raising his fists. “Because if it’s another dig at Jenny—”

“I’m not talking about the boring little American,” said Ethan, rolling his eyes. “I’m talking about your new boyfriend Mr. Cheekbones.”

Ripper dropped his fists. He looked genuinely bemused. “What?”

“The vampire?” persisted Ethan. “Poncy boy? Billy Idol knockoff?”

Ripper rolled his eyes. “You’re not serious,” he said. “Spike is a pain in the arse, is all. I’m with Jen and she’s with me and that’s as far as seeing anyone goes—”

“Nauseating,” said Ethan, who had forgotten how annoyingly much Ripper talked about his girl. “And don’t feed me that garbage. All you did last time I was at the Bronze was shout at Cheekbones and tell him how terrible his hair was.”

Ripper stared at him. Slowly, he said, “Ethan, I don’t know if you know this, but telling someone that their hair is terrible doesn’t automatically mean you want to snog them in an alley.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were aware,” said Ethan, “that you already have an arch-nemesis with intense sexual tension. Do you want to know who it is?”

“No,” said Ripper, and started walking away.

Ethan followed. “It’s me,” he informed him. “Me. I’m your arch-nemesis.”

“It’s not a self-appointed bloody position,” said Ripper. “Stop trying to make yourself my arch-nemesis. It’s annoying.”

“That’s the point,” said Ethan, and picked up the flesh-eating slug, lobbing it at Ripper’s head before it could start eating him. It latched onto his jacket.

“For fuck’s sake,” said Ripper, balled up the jacket, and threw it at Ethan, beginning to walk faster. Ethan dodged the jacket, continuing to follow.

Ripper rounded a corner, then grinned; his girl was straddling a motorbike, giving the both of them an impatient look. “Here’s my ride,” he said. To his girl, he added, “Jenny, you were right. Ethan’s jealous of Spike.”

“I’m right about everything ever,” said Ripper’s girl. “How is this a surprise?” She leaned over, grinning as Ripper kissed her, and moved up on the motorbike so he could get on behind her. “Don’t worry, Ethan,” she said. “We all still think you’re terrible and evil and shit.”

Ethan resented the fact that he liked Ripper’s girl a bit more for saying that, so he just glowered in return. “I could hex your motorbike, you know,” he told her.

“I put wards on it for that exact reason,” said Ripper’s girl, and made a pleased little noise as Ripper wound his arms around her stomach. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” said Ripper. To Ethan, he added, “You are an annoying little shit and you need to get your nose out of my business,” and then buried his face in his girl’s shoulder as the motorbike set off.

“You’re not wearing a helmet,” Ethan shouted after him, which wasn’t particularly witty, but Spike had thrown him off his game a bit.

The next time Ethan showed up at the Bronze, Ripper and Spike were sloppily making out in one of the secluded couches. Delighted at the potential to sow seeds of chaos, he immediately started looking around to see if Ripper’s girl was anywhere near the scene.

She was. She had her phone out and was snapping a picture of them.

“For fuck’s sake, Calendar,” said Ethan, too infuriated to remember that he had been determined not to use Ripper’s girl’s name. “You don’t care that your boy toy’s snogging Billy Idol?”

Pocketing her phone, Calendar gave the pair a fond smile. “They pull this shit all the time when they’re drunk,” she said. “Then they pretend it never happened, so I have to get photo evidence to tease Spike about. If I could, I’d tease Ripper too, but I can’t really tease Ripper about dumb choices he made when he was drunk, ‘cause, uh,” and then she touched her lips and got a strange smile on her face, “I’m definitely a good percentage of those dumb choices. So.”

“Spike is usurping my position,” said Ethan.

Calendar snorted. “Please,” she said. “Spike couldn’t usurp your position if he tried. You’re the actual worst, Ethan, and we all know it, so would it kill you to let Ripper have a generally harmless rivalry that sometimes ends in drunken makeouts?”

Ethan decided to focus on the part of the sentence where Calendar called him the actual worst. “You’re all right, Calendar,” he informed her.

“Wow, and your good opinion means so much to me,” said Calendar, who was already heading in the direction of the dance floor.

Ethan watched her go, nodded to himself, and decided he would come back in a month and try to set her hair on fire.

[dappercritter]

You have been granted the oppurtunity to recast your favorite animated movie! The only catch is that each of the characters in said movie are animated characters from different shows/movies (X from show/movie is Bob, X from show/movie is Larry, ect.)

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boi. You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, my friend!

Once long ago, before the Cringe Ages, I loved recasting my favourite and sometimes least favourite movies with characters from my favourite shows. But then I started taking storytelling more seriously and sentimentally and… art-y, and I started acting as if I was above the stuff somehow. To this day, I still don’t know whether to blame the masses or my own hubris.

But now! Now, the floodgates of my childish, innocent mind are open once more! And I have just the idea: The Nightmare Before Christmas but with Villainous and Batman* characters! (With a few CN villains on the side.) So, I guess you could call it…

The Villainous Nightmare Before Batman! 

(No, wait. Uhhhhh…)

The Dark Knight Before Villainous!

Ok, yeah, that should do.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Dapper Critter, what are you doing this? Sure, Batman meets Villainous could work, but why are you bringing The Nightmare Before Christmas into this? It’s not even Halloween or Christmas! What are you thinking?!” Well, first of all, Christmas and Halloween aren’t just holidays, they’re states-of-mind. Second, I think it’s time you guys learned something important: I’m a big ol’ lowkey goth baby, baby! If it’s spooky or gothic, I’ll soak it up like a sponge in sink full of soapy water. And nothing says gothic like the hero of a city literally called “Gotham,” a show with a grotesque monster hiding behind the guise of a well-dressed man, and the classic story of Jack Skellington himself! What’s more, all three of these hold a special place in my heart, as they all played a huge part in helping me develop and realize my interest in gothic culture. Lastly, I can see the worlds of these three stories coming together quite easily. Behold, this plot pitch I just made!

“Another Halloween has come and gone in CN City, and another cheerful Christmas is on its way. Black Hat, unofficial master of all that is dark and evil, is thoroughly disgusted that the multiverse will soon be returning to it’s obnoxiously cheerful and wholesome state. He morosely tears a hole through time and space to talk a walk through reality, miserable that he’s stuck living in such a wonderful place. That is until he stumbles upon the city of Gotham, where no matter what time of year it is, the streets are filled with misery and malicious mayhem. Delighted, he sets out to celebrate Christmas his own way: by taking a certain caped-crusader out of the picture and making Gotham his very own holiday vacation home! Little does he know, there’s one special girl who thinks he can celebrate right where he is, as well as a certain clown who’s got his own sinister Christmas party in mind…”

So now that I’ve convinced you, I think it’s time we got down to the actual recasting! Let’s begin, my darling children of the Hot Topic night…

Black Hat as Jack Skellington: This couldn’t have been easier—they’re both creepy gentlemen with excellent taste in fashion. Yes, I know Black Hat is a lot less nice than our dear Pumpkin King, but let’s just say this story takes the odd liberty here and there. Not to mention, Black Hat could easily match Jack’s enthusiasm, intelligence, style, and obsessive inquisitions. Plus, he could totally pull off an evil Santa suit. (Though to be honest, I’m not sure if his snarling, slimy, cockney-accented voice could match Danny Elfman’s melodious singing.)

Demencia as Sally: A devoted, mildly ghoulish, and totally cute fangirl who’s always pining after their darling idol, and who may or may not have been made in a lab? It’s like this fancast is writing itself! Demencia might be a bit more proactive—and scary—in the plot, but I can see her a lot Sally’s dilemma in her as she tries to get Black Hat to notice her and not to abandon them in pursuit of a crazy dream. (Well, that I’m filthy Lizardhat trash.)

Dr. Flug as Dr. Finklestein: Flug, being the only mad scientist who’s employed by Black Hat, as well as the only to survive this, seems like a good pick. Sure, he’s not in a wheelchair and, no, he’s not as creepy as the bugger, but he could still work as our horrid hero’s right-hand man. Plus, since a big part of his canon character is putting up with Demencia’s BS (tell my family that means “baloney-sandwich”), he’d also do great as the one trying to keep the free-spirited love interest under control. Only here, it would be because he’s trying to keep Dem out of trouble so she doesn’t make his boss mad and try to kill him, as opposed to… whatever Finklestein’s problem is. And of course, he can still be menacing if need be. (Just watch the Lost Cases of Townsville and The Tree House…)

5.0.5. as Zero: A cute animal sidekick is a cute animal sidekick, I always say! And 5.0.5. was basically designed to be the ultimate cutesy animal sidekick. Therefore, he can be basically do anything Zero did. Try to cheer up Black Hat? Check. Pull Black Hate’s sleigh? Why couldn’t he? Yeah, he can’t be a flying ghost dog with a glowing nose, but I could just throw bedsheet on him (it was just after Halloween after all) and maybe say he swallowed that anti-gravity device.

Batman as Santa Claus: For Santa Clause, I needed someone who could be the absolute good guy in a world filled with bad guys and weirdos, much like Santa was in the movie. Likewise, since Jack kidnapped Santa to take over Christmas, Black Hat would need to kidnap the guy in charge of Gotham in order to take it for himself. So, of course he’s going to go after it’s #1 protector. I can also see Batman being the voice of reason in this madcap story. Not to mention that he could pull off a Santa suit even better than Black Hat! (In fact…)

The Joker as Oogie Boogie: This one I had some trouble with. I kept asking myself stuff like, “who would be brave enough to usurp Black Hat?,” “who could match Oogie’s siz—er, presence?” or “who would want to kidnap Santa Claus?,” and “Who would be into gambling and crazy funhouse stuff?” And then it came to me: The Joker. I mean, he’s got charisma, a sense of menace, he’s a cutthroat who loves to play with his enemies, and almost always has a big ol’ amusement park deathtrap on hand. Sure, he wouldn’t have the creepy demise like Oogie, but he could get a good beating and traumatizing from Black Hat and/or Demencia (who’d really hate being a damsel in distress, I imagine).

The Delightful Children from Down the Lane as Lock, Shock, and Barrel: At first, I thought of using other Batman villains or Shannon, Darrell, and Ernesto from OK K.O.!, but then I thought it would make more sense to have child villains from a CN show who could do bad things for slime-balls like Black Hat and Joker with pleasure. I instantly thought of these scheming, little monsters from Codename: Kids Next Door (an old favourite of mine). Although they’re usually talk and act in unison, they could have some comical bickering now and then. (After all, “Lenny is an idiot.”) Likewise, I can see Black Hat using Batman’s affinity for young people to get him while his guard’s down. They could make for great trick r’ treaters as well!

Lord Boxman as The Mayor: The mayor wasn’t a very important character, but he was definitely a memorable one, and the first character I thought of who could match his dual personality was Lord Boxman from OK K.O.! They both act like leaders but are really terrible at their jobs, suck up to better villains, and throw a whimpering tantrum like nobody else. (Also, I get to imagine Jim Cummings singing lines from The Nightmare Before Christmas songs, so that’s nice.)

Various CN Villains as The Citizens of Halloween Town: Like with The Mayor and the Trick R’ Treaters, I like to think that the various CN villains who cameoed in the Villainous Orientation series would show up as the denizens of the seedier side of CN City which—as you probably guessed—would be standing in for Halloween Town. Unfortunately, I do not have an encylcopediac knowledge of either Halloween Town residents, nor CN villains, so I’ll just list the ones I can remember and am the most proud of without offering any real justification.

Nohyas as Mr. Hyde: I couldn’t think of anyone besides Black Hat with a fancy hat or smaller versions of himself. Nohyas just so happens to have a suitable villain’s hat, and Handre (his hand puppet) could work in place of tiny clones living under his hats. (And yes, I like Mighty Magiswords. Deal with it.)

Zombozo as Clown with the Tear-Away Face: I don’t believe all creepy clowns look the same, but a ghoulish clown could easily stand in for another. Plus, I used to be a big Ben 10 fan, so I thought I ought to work something in.

Donny as Behemoth: This grass ogre from Adventure Time was more of an outright jerk than Behemoth, but he has a softer side so that would make him a great candidate for a resident gentle giant.

Loony Toons’ Dracula, Billy and Mandy’s Dracula, and Count Spankula as The Vampire Brothers: Do I really need to explain this one?

The Red Guy as Devil: I sure don’t need to elaborate on this one.

The Gangreen Gang as the Zombie Band: The Gangreens were basically based off edgy bands of the late 90’s, and thanks to Gorillaz, we know Ace can play the bass like a boss. Also, I can totally hear Ace saying, “Nice work, bone-daddy.”

Earl (AKA Dopey Black Hat) as Igor: Earl doesn’t get enough to do, inside or outside of Villainous canon.

The Beast as The Hanging Tree: Yeah, I know, I’m messed-up.

HIM as Harlequin Demon: Seriously, this one cast itself!

The Queen of the Black Puddle as Undersea Gal: I don’t watch Courage the Cowardly Dog much, but I remember seeing this villainess once before and I instantly thought she’d be a dead-ringer!

Morbidia and Gateaux as The Witches: Another natural casting derived from my soft spot for Mighty Magiswords. Although Gateaux is a male and a tall one at that, he’s perfect for being a huge suck-up. (I originally considered Miss Endive from Chowder and Duchess from Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, but then I remembered that no matter what they dressed-up as, they’d be unlikeable.)

Monstrous Black Hat as The Monster Under the Bed: Like Earl and the other Black Hat clones, he doesn’t get enough love. (Though this may be a good thing, since he seems too nasty to receive or return it…)

Rob as The Melting Man: There aren’t a lot of CN villains who are melting, per se, but I figured this poor bad guy from Amazing World of Gumball and his unique media-mixed malformity could work.

Biowolf as The Wolfman: Because they’re both well designed wolfmen and I refuse to forget Generator Rex.

The Robins, Batgirl, and Alfred as the Elves: If Batman’s going to be Santa, then his support staff/family might as well be his helpers. Not to mention, they’d look great in cute little elf outfits happily working on Batman’s gadgets in preparation for the big Christmas crime wave.

The Justice League as The Army: Someone needs to show up to shoot-down Black Hat and his idea of Christmas at the end, and since he’s kidnapped Batman, I think it only makes sense that the Justice League would retaliate and come to clean up Black Hat’s mess. He’d also get a reminder that he isn’t just in Gotham City, he’s in the DC universe.

Unikitty as The Easter Bunny: I have my reasons. Them being, Unikitty is good at being sweet and innocent, the episode “Batkitty,” and her world is one of the few Black Hat has interacted with so far. I like to think that’s because he’s too repulsed by her cuteness to touch it. So imagine his reaction when the Delightful Children bring him to her by accident while she’s cosplaying as LEGO Batman or something.

And there you have it! I had a lot of fun making this recast. It was a great way to step out of my comfort zone and to have some fun. Not to mention, I had an excuse to listen to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack early. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do, @good-guy-is-alive!

Now I just need to make sure Black Hat himself doesn’t see this, or else he might find me and—

Oh no.

No, please, Mister Black Hat, sir, you don’t understand. I just was doing this for fun. I wasn’t trying to make you look—

OH NO.

NO!

NOOOOOOOOOOjglkajgflkjdshGH;LJF’W abfklghlfuGFARGTADS!!!#%RQ#@!

…

…

…

*Since DC changes their Batman shows like people change their socks, we’ll just say that this is your standard DCAU/Bruce Timmverse Batman.

[prettyfunkyunorganized]

Daughter Series - Monster Hunter McCree AU

Maybe it’s rather silly of me to write an AU with a character I’ve only recently introduced, but this was a lot of fun to write! No regrets :) 

This is inspired by McCree and Reaper’s Halloween skins from this year that I loved. Ended up being 3,600ish words. Put a break in the middle. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

More Daughter Series:  Hanzo, McCree, Reaper, Soldier 76, Genji, Roadhog

Halloween Daughter Series: Roadhog, McCree, Genji, Reaper

After years of trailing, searching, and tracking, McCree felt as if he was finally closing in on his prey. Or perhaps it was just wishful thinking. Again. He had this feeling back in Liverpool and before that in New York, but nothing had come of it. Reaper continued to elude him, over and over.

“Damn vampire piece of shit,” the hunter hissed, rolling another cigarette. “I chased him all the way back home to the US just to turn right around and head back to this rainy shit hole.” London always made him cranky. He took a long drag and rubbed his temple. “There was another drained body here this morning,” McCree assured himself, “he must be close. He must be.”

He pulled his long coat tighter around his cold shoulders with a sigh, watching and listening. It was dark, but his highly trained eyes had no trouble scanning the streets. All he needed was a flash of movement, something darting by too fast, a rustle in the darkness – any sort of sign. He was getting restless. He needed a chase. Some action.

“Come on,” he growled after an hour of roaming with eyes peeled, “where are you?!”

There was a rustling sound behind him, and McCree grinned. He whipped out his gun, swiveled on his heels, and fired a bevy of shots at the figure. Then he realized the silhouette was too small to be Reaper’s. His stomach dropped as the body fell to the ground with a whimper. He’d always been too hasty, his mentors had told him that a thousand times. “One of these days you’re going to put a bullet in something that doesn’t deserve one!” He’d finally done it - to something in a tattered blue dress and a thin cloak.

“Oh God,” he sputtered kneeling beside her. “Miss? Miss?! Are you alright? Ah shit, please don’t be dead! Imma get you some help, ya hear? Just hold on!”

She grabbed his arm as he tried to stand up, pulling him back. She was strong. Too strong. There was another one of his bad habits biting him in the ass: he was too gullible when it came to women. “One of these days you’re going to let something bat a pair of pretty lashes at you and slit your throat.” His mentors were right again. Mostly. He saw her sickly red eyes and pointed teeth just before she lunged.

Much to McCree’s surprise, he awoke. Sore and confused, but alive. Wherever he was, it was dark and musty, making his nose crinkle at the mildewy smell. Dust coated his cheek as he sat up from the cold wooden floor.

“Son of a bitch,” he whined quietly, rubbing the bump on his head, “where did that little monster drag me? And where the hell is my hat?”

A low, sneering chuckle hit his ears as his hat drifted into the light, swaying back and forth teasingly. He recognized that pitch black glove and the elegant red cuff surrounding it.

“Reaper,” the hunter snarled, “not like you to let a little girl do your dirty work.”

The vampire laughed again, sauntering into the light. “What can I say – I wanted to test my new fledgling. And my, my did she impress! Pretty thing hauled your unconscious body back here less than an hour after I sent her out.” He sat down on a fraying velvet couch in front of McCree, lounging as if he didn’t have a care in the world after tossing the hunter’s hat flippantly to the side. “I will have to give her quite the reward.”  

“You gonna feed her a baby or something,” grumbled McCree as he traced his fingers across his belt. His gun was gone, his crossbow was gone, the sharpened stakes were gone. Even the dagger in his boot had been taken.  

“A baby,” Reaper scoffed, “that’s hardly a meal for a growing girl. I was thinking something a little more . . . personal.” His voice was suddenly sultry, and McCree instantly recoiled in disgust.

“That was very rude,” his captor scolded, “you’ll damage the girl’s pride! The way I hear it, you’re quite the Don Juan, but just rumors I suppose.”

“Oh I do just fine with the ladies, and I don’t even have to kill ‘em or hypnotize ‘em to do it,” McCree barked back. “Probably has something to do with the fact that I don’t wear a menacing mask or eat people.”

“Says the man with spurs and silver-tipped spikes on his metal arm. Glad you found a replacement, by the way – makes you a much more worthy adversary. More fun to toy with.”

“Or you could have not torn it off in the first place,” McCree fumed.

“Where’s the fun in that,” Reaper said swinging his legs onto the floor. The satin lining of his long overcoat glimmered in the candlelight – red and smooth and somehow ominous. His blood would glint like that when the beast finally got around to killing him.

“You are having fun, aren’t you,” the hunter asked sarcastically. “How much longer are you going to drag this out? There’s a lot of other shit I could be getting done right now.”

Reaper snorted. “Like what? For over a decade all you’ve been doing, day in and day out, is searching for me.” He stood and walked to McCree, stopping inches away from him. The hunter tried to lean away, but the vampire grabbed his chin and pulled him closer. “I am all you care about. I am all you think of. I am all you want, aren’t I?”

“No,” McCree automatically objected, but he could feel his face go hot. The truth in those words stung.

“Tell me the truth,” Reaper’s voice boomed. McCree’s vision went bleary as the overwhelming power of the elder vampire crawled its way into his mind. He had to obey, despite all the training he’d endured. Reaper was too old, too skilled.

“Yes,” the hunter admitted breathlessly.

“Say it,” Reaper demanded smugly.

“All I want is to kill you.” His own voice echoed in his head, bouncing about and rattling all the shame out of its hiding spots.

“You don’t even care about your order’s mission anymore, do you? ‘To seek all evil, to destroy all beasts, to protect all humanity.’ You could have killed a hundred of my kind in the past ten odd years, but no, you always come scampering back to me. Isn’t that right, Master Hunter?”

“Yes.” He hadn’t checked in with his superiors in ages. When they didn’t support his obsession, McCree branched out on his own.

“Tell me, boy, are you happy, chasing me all over the world always one step behind?”

“No.”

“Does anything make you happy?”

“The thought of killing you.”

“But of course,” Reaper sighed. “How predictable. You haven’t thought this through, though, my American friend.” The vampire kneeled down, the pointed edges of his mask much too close to the hunter’s face. “If you kill me,” he continued, “you’ll have nothing left! No prey, no purpose, nothing.”

The realization hit him like a punch in the gut. Damned bloodsucker was right, completely and utterly right.

“Judging by the paleness of your skin and the thumping of your heart, you know I’m correct, don’t you, McCree?” His kidnapper sounded so smug it hurt, but at least he was pleased enough to release his captive from the mind control.

The hunter was left reeling. It felt like some sort of awful combination of a hangover and a migraine was hammering into his skull. He sat there on the floor, curled over and panting as Reaper’s words seeped into his bones, filling him with dread and humiliation. He’d let this thing take over his life. He used to be a man – maybe not a good man – but a man with his own goals and desires and ambitions. Now? Now he was a plaything. A puppet for a fanged freak.

“Aw, poor little hunter,” Reaper cooed cruelly, “someone tear down your whole world?”

McCree glared up at him. “Fuck you.”

The vampire burst out laughing, his entire figure shaking with twisted joy. “You are a delight! All full of useless bluster and pathetic angst. And I’m not even finished yet! I’ve one more surprise for you ‘partner.’”

Hearing the old, undead man fake a Southern accent was strangely unsettling. A shiver ran up the hunter’s spine. “Oh goodie,” McCree mumbled, trying to be tough. He sure didn’t’ feel that way.

“One more question, then your treat,” Reaper promised like he was talking to a dog. “Answer me this: do you have any hope left? Any at all? You’ve failed to kill me, even after all this time, and now you know if you kill me, your life is pointless. Seems rather hopeless to me.”

“What does it matter,” McCree said with an angry huff.

“I told you to answer me.” Reaper rose from his bended knee, undoubtedly glaring down at his captive. “Do you want me to put you under again?”

He did not want that. Christ almighty he didn’t want that! His head was still throbbing.

Before he could come up with a witty reply, McCree was buckling over and writhing in pain. Evidently, Reaper had no patience. As the kidnapper man screamed and twitched on the ground, the question blared in his ears. “Do you have any hope? Any at all?” It was like a massive gong, sending agonizing vibrations into every fiber of his being.

“For fuck’s sake, no! I don’t have any hope,” McCree all but sobbed. “None! I don’t have a single fucking thing to live for anymore! Nothing!”

And the pain was gone, leaving the hunter in a panting, sweaty pile. He’d given in so fast. He disgusted himself.

“Not a ‘single fucking thing to live for,’ you say,” Reaper mused. “Wonderful!”

McCree wanted to smack the smarmy vampire right out of his fancy boots, but what good would it do? Reaper would probably just laugh at him, call him ‘cute,’ or some shit. The hunter had been defeated, once and for all. He was empty and ready to die, even if it was at the hands of this monstrosity.

“Chin up, cowboy,” Reaper sang, “time for your reward! A little something to perk you back up, now that you’re at your lowest.” He picked McCree up by his neck effortlessly, forcing the man to his feet. “My lovely little fledgling, time to come out!”

The girl that had attacked him tentatively stepped into view, head bowed and hands trembling. She looked disheveled, especially next to her master. Her clothing was torn in a number of places and her shawl was hanging on by threads. The shoes covering her feet had visible holes, and dirt smears were splattered all over her body. It would have been depressing if not for the blood on her chest and arms. McCree scowled at her. Her fingers were still stained red from her last sloppy feeding.

“Eyes forward, my dear, you are a fearsome creature of the night! Act like it,” Reaper said waving the young woman closer.

She tilted her head up when told revealing high cheekbones and deep-set eyes. Her hair was matted with dried sinew and what seemed like weeks of inattention. McCree should have found her repulsive, sickening, but she looked so . . . scared. Her red eyes darted between the hunter and Reaper as her slender figure twitched erratically. Something was wrong with her.

Reaper wrapped his arm around his prisoner as if they were longtime friends, speaking in a chipper tone unbefitting of someone who burned villages out of boredom. “Master Hunter Jesse McCree, venerated member of the murderous Van Helsing Order, I would like you to meet your daughter, Juniper.”

McCree’s head flinched back, shooting Reaper a confused look. The vampire just laughed. “Don’t believe me,” he asked smugly. “Just picture the little dear with brown eyes the same color as yours, and that long brown hair tied back in a ribbon, just like yours. Not seeing it yet?”

He could see the resemblance, but the denial was still holding on tightly.

The vampire let out an exasperated moan, “Fine then, look at the freckles. Remind you of anyone? Perhaps a certain redheaded innkeeper’s daughter? From your homeland? One who liked to tell tales about the local history and ‘The Great Werewolf Hoard?’ Ringing any bells?”

“Ho fuck,” the hunter gulped before he could stop himself. He remembered that woman – her stories, her kind smile, her nose. This frightened newborn vampire had that same nose.

With an almost deafening laugh, Reaper shook the hunter’s shoulders like he’d just delivered a hilarious punchline. “You should see the look on your unshaven mug! All of a sudden all the work I’ve put into this reunion is worth all the trouble,” the masked man sighed contentedly. “She’s a cute little beastie, isn’t she?”

“She’s a monster,” McCree said quietly, trying to convince himself as much as Reaper. “Whatever she was before, now she’s just one more creature I gotta put down.”

“Oh,” the elder vampire said finally removing his arm from McCree, “is that so?” His mischievous tone made the other’s man’s stomach flop. “You don’t feel anything for her? No regret? No sympathy? No tenderness?”

“No,” the hunter grunted uncomfortably.

Reaper hummed curiously before shrugging and grabbing the young woman’s wrist. The girl’s eyes widened and she let out a pitiful noise as her master pulled her into a headlock. “I suppose if I can’t torture you with her, Juniper here has no use.” With an overly dramatic flourish, the undead man produced a wooden stake and threw his arm back, ready to strike. His fist came barreling toward her chest.

“Don’t!” McCree’s hands grabbed Reaper’s a fraction of a second before the mahogany pierced Juniper’s heart. The hunter had never been so terrified in all his life. He didn’t want to watch her die. He should have wanted to kill her, but he didn’t. Couldn’t.

“That’s what I thought,” Reaper crooned in a voice so low it could rattle a man’s innards. “We’ve been doing this dance a long time, master hunter, and I believe I’ve come to know you quite well. You’re a simple man with simple desires – so simple it’s a bit sad. You want love, McCree, plain and simple. That’s why you’re always so good to women you woo, why you always give your last few coppers to the gutter-rat children in the streets, why you spend your evenings happily listening to old men in bars blather about their past. And here’s your chance!” He let Juniper out from under his grasp, instead holding her by the waist, their bodies pressed together at the hip. “You have a child, McCree! A girl, at that! Someone to dote upon and dress in frills. Someone who will look up to you and hold you tight. Your very own family, small, but pure.”

The vampire’s gloved fingers began to snake up Juniper’s torso, massaging her tender flesh. She stood there, letting him do it, but stared at the hunter, desperately. Rage began to boil in the hunter’s core. Reaper’s hand groped the young woman’s breasts.

“You have a daughter, McCree, and she’s all mine!”

“You fucking – ” He lunged at the creature, knowing it was futile, but he didn’t care. If it meant the bastard stopped touching Juniper, it was worth it, but the hunter’s stolen gun was suddenly pointed right between his eyes.

“Ah, ah, ah, my boy! Not so fast.” Reaper turned the gun to press against the young woman’s ear. “Violence begets violence, you know.”

McCree took a step back, arms in the air. “What do you want from me,” he spat.

“There is only one more thing you can give me, old friend,” the vampire said nuzzling Juniper’s neck. “I’ve broken you down until you were all but begging for death, and now I’ve given you something to live for – all that’s left is letting your precious daughter feast on your blood. I’ve hardly fed the poor dear since I turned her, so she’s famished!” He smacked her ass, pushing her toward McCree. “Kill him, my dear. Feast on him! Sink those pointy fangs into his neck and drink your fill!”

She slowly closed the distance between them and fell to her knees in front of McCree. Her body was shaking more violently now. He wanted to hold her close and wrap his coat around her. Even with her teeth bared, the hunter didn’t feel an ounce of fear.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered to her, “I promise.” Reaper chuckled.

Juniper moved closer, her nose nearing his jugular. She was a young vampire, but plenty fast. He didn’t see her hand as it moved to his neck.

“Don’t look down,” she mouthed at him and he frowned for just a moment, then he felt her slip something into his hand. He knew that shape, that smoothed edge. A silver-tipped stake.

“Help me,” she whimpered almost inaudibly, “I can’t keep resistin’ much longer. He’s – he’s in my head!” Tears spilled down her cheeks, filling McCree with a determination he��d never known the likes of.

“What’s the holdup, Juniper? I know you’re a ‘hick’, but surely someone taught you to not to play with your food,” Reaper joked.

McCree looked at him and scowled. “I need your help, baby girl,” he murmured back to his daughter.

“What was that,” the elder creature hissed, flying to McCree’s side, grabbing him by his long hair and yanking his head back. “Enough sniveling, Juniper, kill him, now!”

She cringed and gripped her forehead, yelping and quivering in pain, but she was strong, like her father. With an inhuman snarl, Juniper tackled Reaper to the ground, pinning him in place before he could react. McCree scrambled to his feet, weapon at the ready. With one practiced movement, he stabbed Reaper in her chest, making the vampire screech and squirm.

He was hurt, but far from dead. He whipped his arm from under Juniper and punched her in the throat, making her crumble to the floor. McCree clenched his silver metal fist and pummeled Reaper again and again and again. Until his mask broke and the hunter hesitated at the sight of the mangled face below him – all gnashing teeth and ashen skin and a too long tongue that lashed out like a spear.

McCree may not have been frozen in place for long, but it was long enough. Reaper pounced, stake still stuck insinde of him, but this time he was on top, grinning and dripping saliva on the hunter’s stunned face.

“I’m going to bleed you dry, feed the meat from your corpse to my dogs, and grind your bones with my bare hands!” He leaned in closer, licking the sweat from McCree’s brow. “Then I’m going to chain up your ‘baby girl’ and do every filthy thing I can think of to her supple little – ”

There was a blast and Reaper was tossed off of the hunter. The vampire’s body was still. McCree was panting, waiting for the beast to get up and chuckle, but he didn’t.

“Is,” Juniper rasped shakily, “is he dead?”

The hunter turned to Juniper, who was still holding his pistol in her shaking hands. It was covered in silver adornments, and McCree could smell his daughter’s burning skin. He jumped to his feet and started to pry the gun from her hands.

“No,” he said frantically. “I’ve shot him before – it just slows him down.” He began to wrap up her hands with a bandage from his pocket. “We have to get you away from him. We’ll get on a ship and just keep sailing, okay? I’ll keep you safe, alright?”

When he looked back to Juniper, he saw her staring at him with a dazed look. “You’re bleeding,” she said, swallowing hard. “From yer head. I can smell it. I can feel it.” Her chest heaved as her eyes dilated. “I’m so hungry,” she wailed.

He grabbed her wrists as they approached him. “Easy there, sweetpea, I can’t help ya if I’m dead.” She whined, but nodded. “Can you, uh,” he said eyeing Reaper, “feed on him?”

She leaned over and bit her lip. “Maybe.”

In the time it took him to blink, Juniper was crawling over her master’s body, mouth affixed to his wrist. She made a disgusted face, but didn’t stop until her body stopped shaking.

“Better,” McCree asked as she stood.

“You ever vomit in your mouth and have to gulp it back down,” she grumbled. “It was like that.”

He grimaced. “I’m sorry, hun. We’ll figure something out for next time.”

“Next time,” she said wrapping her arms around herself. “There’s gonna to be a next time.”

“We’ll find a way,” McCree said blocking her view of Reaper’s mangled form. “I dunno how, but I’m gonna take care of you, ya hear?”

“I didn’t want to be like this,” she sputtered at him, “he just found me and dragged me away and – ” Her hands clamped over her trembling lips.

“I believe you,” he said grabbing her arms. So damn cold. “It’s not your fault.”

She looked up to him with teary eyes and slowly leaned into his chest, crying softly into him. He held her close and rubbed her back.

“I’ve got ya, baby girl, I’ve got ya.” He didn’t know how, but he was going to protect his daughter, no matter what she was. She was scared and hurt and confused, but she wouldn’t be alone. Neither of them would be anymore.  

[mikanrulz]

snb:vs ep17 aka where do I even begin with this

WARNING: nothing but salt in here, so if you think this ep is good and it makes you happy, do yourself a favor and scroll past please.

This ep post is divided into four parts:

the good part

the salt is real for azazel part

charioce the fragile baby bird part

tl;dr part

now

1. ON THE GOOD PART

first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BOTHERING TO CARE ABOUT AZAZEL, KAISAR

currently you (and the grandpa demon chief from ep15) seem to be the only one to do so.

haha…ha… /cries

I guess I should just be thankful that kaisar at least mentioned his name, considering in ep10, 11, 12, 13, 14 not only he doesn’t get to appear, none seems to remember his name or his existence at all.

(bacchus and hamsa too seem to be forgotten, while we’re at it)

Also dang favaro looks so hot this ep? And considerably older. Something about him is just cool all over, but cool in that fun uncle whom you like to play with way, not cool cold way.

You have no idea how happy it makes me to see his armpit hair is still there hoho

Also favaro says that azazel’s not there since morning… meaning Azazel’s actually an early morning person???

That’s… unexpected lmao

I kinda thought with his being demon and also his vampire complexion, he’d have a vampire habit of sleeping in the day and be awake in the night.

But then again, he does have a job as an undertaker in the stadium, so uh, sorry for doubting your dedication azazel! Just because you’re a demon who seems used to being spoiled and egoist, doesn’t mean you’re lazy!

…why does he have to disappear just after he agrees to work together with kaisar in ep before? Doesn’t it look like he goes back on his words??? Show why you keep doing this to him yo

Well

Rita is actually good with make up and costumes. Color me surprised, bcs her doctor outfit is so…. baggy. But I guess attending patients are easier in such outfits compared to her casual ones lol

Meanwhile on heaven, a new ship is officially born

Sofiel really just says that, while fully knowing bacchus fell from grace bcs he chased after a human girl.

El officially has two moms now, aren’t you happy El >/////<

Speaking of El, nobody calls him El on earth, so probably even if azazel’s here, he would still not know that El is mugaro’s real name.

I was kinda hoping mugaro and nina are still in each other’s clothes by the time they meet azazel just to see his reaction to it and confirm what his reaction in ep7 actually was, but alas, since azazel’s not even shown at all, might as well have them back in their own clothes.

/bitter

Kaisar formally introducing himself to mugaro is weird bcs well, haven’t they met before? Countless times? Maybe not at night while azazel’s doing his rag demon routine, but during azazel’s job at the stadium? And during ep8?

But then maybe mugaro being jeanne’s kid makes a difference?

This part makes me a bit confused bcs all this time, I thought Kaisar’s actually aware of azazel being in Anatea (from the start maybe, bcs rita, so at least two years?), he just doesn’t realize until ep1 that the rag demon is azazel. And if he’s known azazel in the city for two years at least, he should’ve noticed mugaro’s existence, since mugaro hardly ever leaves azazel’s side, be it night or day.

Also, how long azazel’s been in anatea anyway? It should be more than two years, but none mentions it so far right? Even grandpa demon chief from ep15 just says azazel going away alone without any time modifier.

And yes, hamsa in that vest is cute <3

…now on to the hard part:

2. THE SALT IS REAL FOR AZAZEL

First of all, let me make it clear: I don’t care who ends up with who in the show; that’s what fics and fanworks are for.

and I know I keep repeating this, but from the start, I actually already expected nina and chari to end up together, so them ending up together, now, does not surprise me.

What surprised me is the way they (the writers) go to achieve it: which is by consistently undermining a “love rival” or another character (azazel) in order to make chari (the true love interest) looks good in comparison.

And this is… just so very painful for me as azazel’s fan.

I already wrote a bit about how azanina scenes in those early eps were actually foreshadowing for charinina plot, and it happens again in this ep.

Just compare the difference in the way the anime shows azanina and charinina interaction; same street, same place, but chari is a charming playful gentleman who ends up taking nina in a ‘romantic’ gateaway while azazel is a pushy jerkass who ends up on his ass in a comical position courtesy of rita’s punch.

Also pls compare these lines:

Those two lines technically commenting the same thing: meeting and reacting to each other.

And while Azazel’s line is more matter of fact and had a sense of inevitability to it, like “what happened happened and let’s just accept it and move on to do something about it”,

Chari’s line is unnecessarily more dramatic, and also more romantic, bcs wow how he makes nina sound so special and like she’s the only one, like he’s blaming fate or whatever, while at the same time confirming why yes fate is the one who makes us meet; if only fate isn’t so cruel blah blah blah

Sorry if I sound so skeptic bcs honestly I’m just… skeptic.

Like, wtf dude who are you? Who is this emo ooc parading around in charioce’s shoes? I don’t know him.

He has never showed sign of being emo even once during the whole 16 eps and then suddenly this??? yeah right.

But back to that line, I won’t blame nina if she falls for chari’s words hook, line and sinker bcs she always seems to be drunk in love in her own separate world and at first glance chari’s words is totally romantic – if you like your man dramatic.

So… to sum it up, from nina’s perspective (and what the show wants you to see it as) Azazel: matter of fact pushy jerkass with no romantic bone whatsoever to his body Charioce: romantic charming guy with romantic confession and is kind to kids.

Haha ha…. /bitter

AZAZEL DESERVES BETTER THAN TO BE A FODDER FOR CHARININA PLOTLINE

/phew

There I said it.

Just, you know, it seems everything azanina did is eventually going to be done also by charinina, except in a way that’s much cooler and romantic; and this is not bcs of chari or azazel’s characterization itself, but bcs the *show* needs and intends for chari to look better compared to azazel.

It’s in *the way* they show it, and not the act itself that actually really matters.

Personally, I hate how, bcs of Nina’s romantic and obvious shoujo manga view of her world, in the show Azazel’s treated like a persistent former boyfriend once ep6 rolls around and chari appears for real; like he’s suddenly being broken up by nina even tho 1) they’re not lovers in the first place, 2) he never shows romantic interest in her.

And honestly, I could understand azanina shippers’s frustration with the show’s current progress, bcs up to ep4, they have the most interaction and nina’s reactions to him is so very… leading, to say the least. Add to it the show’s marketing and main visual w/ nina surrounded by four guys, it seems at least azazel and chari had the same chance with her. (fava already has Amira and kai has rita, so they’re just not available to nina)

But then by ep5, it seems the whole 4eps doesn’t happen and azazel’s just mugaro’s boyfriend/brother/guardian aka *just* nina’s acquaintance, nothing more.

Add again to it the fact that nina doesn’t even seem to remember azazel exists ever since ep10 until now ep17. Not once does she ever wonder about how he’s doing, despite how she feels guilty over him in ep8.

Even taking the shipping issue aside, it’s just not good overall for nina’s characterization to forget about him and her guilt so easily, bcs that means once the ‘problem’ is no longer in front of her, she instantly forgets about it. That makes her so… flighty, easily distracted, and just…unreliable, to say the least. And seems unsympathetic toward others.

I’m not saying what happened to azazel is her fault; it’s completely his and his fault only.

I’m saying it’s important to follow up on her guilt and explore it a little perhaps, and not just act like it never happens, bcs she *did* say she feels sorry for what happened in ep8.

I *did* like azanina’s interaction more than charinina’s even though I didn’t ship them romantically.

But now (or more precisely, ever since that hot spring scene w/ nina and Jeanne) I just want nina to stay faaaaaaar away from Azazel.

esp since even if he meets her again, he's only going to be used for yet another charinina fodder and example how he's such a jerkass loser while chari is a charming romanticist anyway

GIVE HIM A BREAK, SHOW, GDI

I understand her head is full of charioce or something but the fact she COMPLETELY forgets about azazel despite their past interaction and what happened between them and how they saved each other at least once is just… haha… ha…

You know, if this pattern continues, nina’s actually going to forget about charioce too the moment another hot looking guy pays attention to her for a bit probably haha

So yeah.

I read someone says azazel has his own story and Nina has her own story, and that they just doesn’t care about nina’s. I AGREE COMPLETELY.

Indeed azazel and nina (and chari too tbh) have their own story, but while azazel & charioce’s story happens in the same line, Nina’s story while seems to happen in the same world, just doesn’t connect to their story at all (so far anyway, yes, even tho it’s 17th ep already).

3. CHARIOCE THE FRAGILE BABY BIRD (according to nina)

First of all, boo hoo, wtf why is she still getting red-faced by kaisar? I thought she already has her true love in charioce and no other man would do, but then kaisar appears and she’s suddenly back to her old self?

(esp when azazel no longer does it for her???)

Hamsa’s line makes it clear tho: that red-faced scene is done purely for comedy and not for any consistency or plot-relevant thing. If you’re trying to be consistent, show, then try to show her character development instead, her who is no longer easily blushing anymore. I thought this is already an established plot point, but apparently not, and it irks me greatly.

And that’s actually the biggest flaw in the show: the show is mainly story-driven and not character-driven, and for the sake of advancing plot, it sacrifices many things, including any consistency in Nina’s characterization.

I won’t be commenting much on the discomfort watching Chari & Nina playing with the demon kids bcs other ppl already covered that better than me.

But I’d like to point out the discomfort of watching Nina treating Charioce like some kind of fragile baby bird.

I’m just. WHUT.

In this ep, even tho he IS the king who enslaves and kills and destroys these demons, she’s more worried about HIS well-being than the demons who have no way of fighting back if he ever tries to attack them.

GURL PLS.

She worries about HIS clothes even though the demons kids’ clothes are far from being fit.

She screams when she sees the ball is a skull but shows no reaction at all to how HE naturally plays ball with said skull like nothing amiss, like he’s used to seeing skulls.

She trusts HIM instantly even though technically she is a fugitive and he’s the king who is hunting her and her escapee friends.

She worries more about HIM being in the slum than about the danger to HER FRIENDS by bringing their hunter to their own backyard.

All she thinks about is HER, HERself, HER feelings, HER thoughts, and HIM and I just.

GURL HOW SELF-CENTERED ARE YOU.

She really doesn’t think of things outside her immediate perspective or beyond herself. She does not even *try*.

She’s kind but she lacks empathy, which is why she needs direction and to be told to care before she could actually care.

I’ve said before how, bcs charioce never directly hurts her, she can’t think of him as a bad person.

And this scene:

I just.

the "an asshole to everybody else but a sweetheart to his girl" trope is such a popular trope in all kind of media that I'm surprised nina doesn't realize it's not weird or extraordinary at all.

ahem

I don’t understand why she can’t understand this: that both are part of him, both are *real*

On the other hand, she could accept and understand that Azazel’s kind to Mugaro but a jerkass to her. Both are facets of azazel, and she has no trouble parsing that.

But then when it comes to charioce, she suddenly loses all senses? Pfft.

Also, why does it matter which one is real? Chari still did both things; even if, say, the kind him is the real him, it doesn’t erase the fact he destroys Cocytus and enslaves demons and kills both demons and angels.

Like wtf gurl.

Also, the *wording* actually *matters*, and the way she says “making the demons and gods hate you” it’s like Chari is only pranking them or something harmless like that for the purpose of making them hate him, which is not true at all.

HE TORTURED AND MASS MURDERED THEM. WOMEN AND CHILDREN ALIKE.

No, Nina, it’s not hate what they feel for Chari; hate is too light a word to describe it. They try to murder him now bcs they’re trying to survive, since if he’s not dead he’s going to kill them all eventually.

Also, way to make this all about you, gurl.

Gods and demons being slaughtered left and right but all you care about is his attitude toward you, bcs it’s the only thing that matters to you the most apparently.

Bcs his countless victims, including Jeanne, mugaro, kaisar, azazel, the gods she called cute, totally do not matter at all to her.

Empathy what empathy.

Fuck.

I’ve written about it here, but her conversation with Jeanne in ep14 still gives me chills bcs wow, she perfectly knows chari is the one who hurts Jeanne and is the cause of Jeanne hurting her own child, yet she still dares, with no shred of guilt at all while claiming herself Jeanne’s friend, saying to Jeanne’s face that she *loves* charioce.

No consideration at all of how Jeanne’s actually one of Chari’s victims, no nothing.

The fact Nina doesn’t mention Charioce is the guy she likes is totally cheating and unfair to Jeanne, bcs now Jeanne has unknowingly approved of Charioce.

Cheating…or more like betrayal toward Jeanne, I think.

I wish Nina had done it purposefully tho, omitting Chari’s name in that scene I mean, bcs at least it means she’s aware jeanne’s chari’s victim and only trying to spare her feelings by not mentioning the name, while still keeping the conversation going.

But the fact she hadn’t is just. stupid and mostly empathy what empathy indeed.

Also this scene:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

WTF

…I feel so stupid for trying to analyze her transformation at all oh my god what a waste of time and energy

What about her mother’s words about how her transformation is realted to her father trauma and bahamut???? Where’s the follow up??? Where did that plotline go omg

I JUST.

REALLY, SHOW, REALLY?

That easy? So she’s basically, to quote someone, “just a dragon in heat.”

Wow.

Just… wow.

Also to anon from way back, I take back what I said about how nina’s ignorance is not meant as shallow; full offense, I really mean this: nina’s not only ignorant, but also shallow, only thinks of herself, and has no empathy whatsoever for others unless told to.

The fact Chari never hurts her is important, bcs to her, since she never experiences his cruelty herself, countless tales of his victims is just an unreal myth to her.

Meanwhile for Charioce himself, dude, how the fuck did you go from Charioce 13th to Charioce 17th so fast in less than 5 years, like did you kill 14th-16th or what?

They sure do love abandoning subplots left and right, don’t they haha

I thought he’s interesting at the beginning but he barely has any character development and frankly I’m bored and lost interest in him and his secretiveness just makes him irritating.

I’m not a patient person; sue me for losing interest.

Also, someone commented how Charinina’s lake scene makes them seem like Romeo and Juliet, like, if only they’re not who they are, then they must be able to be happy together.

WTF ROMEO JULIET WHERE

They both are humans, none’s stopping them from being together, he and his race are not at war with her or her race; he doesn’t even know dragonfolk exists.

Azazel thinks her a demon but then again he’s wrong about a lot of things, including mugaro’s origin.

No, dragons are not demons, and nina’s also half dragonfolk half human, so she’s mostly human.

The closest Romeo/Juliet relationship in the show is probably Chari/Mugaro or Chari/Azazel or even Mugaro/Azazel.

There’s no pre-existing condition between Nina/Chari, all the drama are recent and of their own making and not something that already exists as foundation of conflict.

4. TL;DR

I do think while Azazel deserves a lot of suffering, being comic relief and charinina’s fodder is not one of them.

Also Charioce still doesn’t have embarrassing pose and never experienced being the butt of a joke like the rest of the main casts wtf let the poor guy have his own embarrassing meme show

As protags, Nina and Charioce feel so flat to me. Nothing much happens to them personally, no mountain of problems to overcome, no nothing. Well nina has her transformation problem, but that seems so insignificant considering it only involves her and her alone.

Charioce doesn’t have problems to solve bcs he actually creates problems for other characters and somehow sit all the while being cool and charismatic doing nothing. Pfft.

I think, conflict and character development wise, Kaisar and Azazel deserve to be protags more. Kaisar has the Hero’s Righteousness ™ down to the smallest detail, while Azazel has the classic Hero Journey (starting from losing everything to trying to regain everything back).

Meanwhile, Charioce starts as a villain and continues on to be villain, while Nina just lets the waves take her.

Again, this is entirely my personal opinion.

[mirroredtranslations]

Tsubasa Sleeping - Chapter 10

Wazamonogatari – Nisioisin p. 246-251

[Previous Chapter]

“This briar thorn is nothing but a suicide poison for me, but for you it may be different. If you will not give up even at the point of being eaten—if you cannot dispense with that wishful thinking, then you might as well insert this into your back teeth like me.”

“...What happens if I bite down on it?”

“Well, I don't know. I don't know what will happen, but something will happen—that's the type of thing this is. I intend to use it when I am prepared for death; you can use it when you want to live.”

That was our conversation.

Honestly, I didn't think I was going to use it... but seeing as I had inserted the thorn into my back teeth as he'd instructed, I may have envisioned a future in which I would.

It almost seemed symbolic of the local color of Germany—as you know, Germany is the setting of Sleeping Beauty.

The princess who slept for hundreds of years in an old castle.

I have no intention of comparing myself to such a noble princess, and of course, being on top of a billiards table instead of a bed, I couldn't hope for a prince's kiss—but, even so, I awoke.

(Awoke? As in, your sleeping power did? That's amazing; it's like something from a shounen manga.)

(What's so good about that? It wasn't such a thrilling turn of events. It was one of those realistic, pessimistic, logical consequences that Dramaturgie-san likes.)

The briar thorn brought to mind Sleeping Beauty for me, but for a specialist like Dramaturgie-san, it was purely an item used for oddity extermination.

Like crosses and holy water, garlic and silver bullets, the briar plant repels demons; Dramaturgie-san could use it to commit suicide because he was a vampire himself.

A vampire who hunts vampires; a specialist who kills his own kind... That is Dramaturgie-san's true form.

(Oh, now that you mention it, that's right...)

(Please don't pretend like you forgot that—it's a given, isn't it? A huge given. That's why he could scout out Araragi-kun, right?)

(Then I suppose you ought to have taken how he said “for the twins' own sake” and “not for the sake of humans” just as it was.)

Yes.

As a vampire extermination item was a weapon to him, it could also be used for suicide—inserting it into his back teeth was really no different from inserting a capsule of cyanide.

It would only prove effective as a demon repellent for a vampire, but if you were to say it would be meaningless to use it on a human—sometimes a lure, sometimes a toy—like me, then... you'd be wrong.

Wrong.

(Wrong?)

(Indeed. And surely you won't pretend you've forgotten that, right? When half my insides were gouged out and I was about to die, it was none other than you who saved me using vampire blood, Oshino-san.)

Vampire blood.

When my whole side got torn off, when there was nothing left for me but death—that's how I was saved.

So they tell me.

Unfortunately, I have no memories from that time.

(Nah, I didn't save you. You saved yourself, missy—though if I really have to say, it was Araragi-kun.)

That's right.

The vampire blood was Araragi-kun's blood, since he was a vampire at the time; consequently, that meant it was also Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade's blood.

The iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire.

The blood of the king of oddities was a component of my body.

It was my blood, and my flesh.

It was my bones, and my guts.

Reading too much into that, you might be led to believe that such a component being implanted in me was the reason I attracted the sawarineko oddity during Golden Week at the end of spring break, but regardless, that element was lying dormant inside of me.

You could also say it was sleeping.

So if that flesh and blood, those bones and guts are stimulated by a briar thorn, what would happen?

I don't know what will happen, but something will happen.

If a normal vampire underwent stimulation from a demon-repelling briar, they probably just sustain damage—depending on the circumstance, it may simply result in suicide.

But this was blood from none other than Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, who had overcome all the usual weak points of vampires—a prime specimen among prime specimens.

“I don't know what will happen.”

Dramaturgie-san's words ought to have been taken at face value, just as they were.

Really, when the oddity killer's sleeping blood inside of me woke up, it wouldn't have been strange for my body to shatter.

(True. It was beyond a risky bet; it was a dangerous bet. Risking your life like that, isn't that no different from what you did before, Miss Class Rep?)

(Yes, I regret giving myself over to rage—but after all, my life was about to be torn away on top of a game table.)

(So, what happened?)

I don't know precisely what happened.

Later, Dramaturgie-san's analysis as a specialist was that when I received stimulation from the briar thorn, my instantly revitalized body temporarily manifested the power of a vampire—if so, then instead of white hair I may have turned blond, instead of cat's eyes my eyes may have turned golden, and instead of cat ears I may have grown fangs.

It's a character design I would hate to see in the mirror—but luckily enough, vampires don't appear in mirrors.

In any case, when I came to, I'd torn off the bindings on the game table like they were nothing, and knocked down the vampire twins; the one who least understood what had happened might have been me.

(Heh. So the battle scene was just one cut, like in shounen manga? Well, I suppose it would be. They might all be vampires, and rare specimens at that, but Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade is one-of-a-kind.)

(Though if I recall correctly, I believe there was a person who tore out that one-of-a-kind vampire's heart...)

(Wow, who was that again? Must've been quite the guy. ...But for someone who won a risky gamble and survived quite a predicament, Miss Class Rep, why the long face?)

(…...)

(Was there a sudden turn of events afterward or something?)

There wasn't.

With the overwhelming difference in power between us, there was no sudden turn of events, nor was there a counterattack.

As if they'd seen a monstrous apparition, the vampire twins, High-Waist and Low-Rise stared at me through bloodshot eyes—this time, they stared at me, not each other.

“What are you?” “?uoy era tahW”

They accused me.

“A specialist?” “?tsilaiceps A”

“Or a vampire?” “?eripmav a rO”

“No, I'm a high school girl from Japan.”

I answered.

“I would love some help to be happy just being friends with the boy I like...”

“......” “......”

The twins appeared to find my clear-cut answer rather impossible to understand.

The next moment, without any communication, without any preparation, they sunk their teeth into each other.

There was no time to stop them.

The twins thrust their fangs into each other's bodies, sucking blood and consuming flesh—all I could do was watch the sublime sight.

Ah, yes.

I ought to have known.

Since it was something I know, I ought to have known.

I had heard that nine out of ten vampires die by suicide.

Suicide due to boredom, or due to weariness with life.

For that part, even the legendary oddity killer capable of manifesting overwhelming power, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade was a vampire who had desired suicide.

She came to Japan in order to commit suicide.

Boredom kills a man, and boredom kills the soul too.

(...They say only humans take the lives of other animals for purposes besides eating them, but if that's true, then humans are the only creatures who know play. Play to distract from boredom—but conversely, that may mean we can't live without playing. That's why High-Waist and Low-Rise, who'd picked up culture and interests, didn't hesitate to choose death when their play was obstructed.)

Telling them not to play was the same as telling them not to live.

Of course, having said that, I couldn't become their plaything, nor could I be fine with them kidnapping travelers and making them their playthings.

However, if I say the twins were sinful, then driving them to eat each other and erase each other's existences was just as sinful.

I compelled the sinful twins into abstinence.

I was a terribly greedy being.

[Next Chapter]

[jungnoir]

the library;

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❥ last updated ⇢ march 20th, 2020.

⎡RECENT UPDATES⎦

01. destiny | jeon jungkook + min yoongi

02. witch!bts | bts

03. nothing fucks with my baby | lee minhyuk 

04. like the kind of movie we used to hate | wong yukhei

05. when the bones are good | na jaemin + lee jeno

legend ⇣

♥︎ - fluff | ☁︎ - angst | ✕ - smut | ☾ - au | ✓ - request

・- head canons | ▪︎ - moodboard | ⦿ - one shot | … - series | ✎ - drabble

sequels, prequels, spin-offs, etc.

⎡ALL⎦

babysitter!bts | combined ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: bts as babysitters!

cryptid hunter!bts | combined ・,☾,✓.

↳ summary: bts as… you guessed it.

witch!bts | combined ・, ☾.

↳summary: witch, please.

⎡NAMJOON⎦

college boyfriend!namjoon | ・, ♥︎.

↳ summary: namjoon borrows radio dj!yoongi’s studio once in a while and falls for his cute assistant along the way. college!au.

happy birthday, experiment 255 | ⦿, ♥︎, ☁︎, ☾.

↳ summary: namjoon is experiment 255, the latest model in a series of humanoid robot helpers for mankind. you’re the primary caretaker of experiment 255 until he’s deemed fit to be sold on the market, and for the most part, you’re supposed to stay unattached. but throwing him a mini birthday party wouldn’t hurt much, right? (cause i just had to do something weird for his birthday). robot!au.

in between the lines | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “I’m a writer and you’re my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft?”

you attack my heart | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit” ⇢ some people find love in friends and some people find love on a car ride home from dance class; love is funny like that.

⎡SEOKJIN⎦

boyfriend!jin | ・, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: falling in love in cooking class has never been so sweet. boyfriend!au.

a dash of wicked | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳summary: “I’m a writer and you’re my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft?” ⇢ what exactly is standard protocol when a super villain you create for a children’s book comes to life one day? well, you keep him, of course. villain!au.

⎡YOONGI⎦

first love | ⦿, ☁︎, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: yoongi’s been in love with you since childhood and he only has the courage to tell you when you’re about to marry someone else. best friend!au.

the married life | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎, implied ✕.

↳ summary: being married is never a bore when your husband is a vampire king + inspired by  “Stop calling me Princess!” “I apologize, my Queen.” vampire!au.

⎡HOSEOK⎦

my neighbor, jung hoseok | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: you’re just trying to get in a nap after a long day at school, but your very sweaty (and very hot) next door neighbor is keeping you up, practicing with his dance crew way too loudly. you hike your way over to give him a piece of your mind (but you’re getting more than you bargained for). neighbor!au.

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

loud and clear | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎.

↳ summary: haven’t you ever been curious about the god you pray to? noragami!au.

⎡JIMIN⎦

loose ends | ⦿, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “fate will tie up loose ends, always, forever” you and jimin were once high school sweethearts. that was, until he signed on to big hit and you cut off ties. it’s a few years down the line now and you meet once more, and you realize those feelings never quite left in the first place.

take a breath | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: on days like this, jimin thinks he should really thank his mom for putting up with him. dad!au.

⎡TAEHYUNG⎦

traveling in paris with taehyung | ▪︎.

↳ summary: taehyung in paris aesthetic.

kim’s emporium of the strange | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: you’ve always been curious about that little shop in town that only ever opened during Halloween, and one day, something in you possesses you to check it out. your curiosity lands you in a cauldron of hot water with a cute witch named kim taehyung and a lot more problems than you started out with. witch!au.

my heart’s content with you | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: throughout the struggles of college life, slightly overbearing parents, and a road to finding yourself, you meet your soulmate, the mysterious Kim Taehyung, who despite being the strangest boy you’ve ever met, has also proven to be the best. soulmate!au.

motivation | ✎, …, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: part of a series of weightlifting fairy kim bok joo inspired drabbles. you have a competition soon, and your beloved, annoying boyfriend has to get you ready for it. he might not make it out alive, though. swimmer!au.

cute when you’re jealous | ✎, …, ♥︎, ☾, sequel. ↳ summary: part of a series of weightlifting fairy kim bok joo inspired drabbles. it’s no lie that kim taehyung is attractive. you just have to make sure everyone knows who he belongs to (i.e. you’re jealous and taehyung loves it). swimmer!au.

valentine’s | ✎, …, ♥︎, ☾, threequel. ↳ summary: part of a series of a series of weightlifting fairy kim bok joo inspired drabbles. you ask why taehyung doesn’t bring you flowers like the other girls. you get a surprising response. swimmer!au.

a moment to think | ⦿, ☁︎, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: taehyung, for the first time since he’d awoken to the reality of impending galactic domination, gets to cry. it’s all thanks to you, the human who’d managed to slip their way into his big, altaen heart, despite your useless attempts not to fall for him. vld!au.

⎡JUNGKOOK⎦

moonlight | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: jungkook and you are spies partnered up to take on a renowned crime boss at a fancy restaurant, so of course you have to play the part. maybe the red dress was too romantic however, because jungkook insists this is a perfect first date for the two of you. and, come on, you’re not really complaining. spy!au.

destiny ⇢ 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08 | …, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎. ao3. 

↳ summary: you’re just about ready to give up on life altogether; your love life is in ruins, you’ve lost your job, and your family couldn’t care less about you… and then you meet your blushing guardian angel, and maybe life isn’t so bad after all. angel!au. [chapters have been rewritten and rearranged as needed]

puppies and a pop star | ⦿, ♥︎.

↳ summary: you’re worried sick when your boyfriend, jungkook, is late coming home from recording, and even more worried when he walks in covered in bruises and holding a puppy that you definitely haven’t seen before.

demon!jungkook | ・, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “Could you do a Jungkook scenario where he transforms into a demon and then you too meet and you understand he’s different? You’re like best friends and then he turns you too and says that he loves you Thank you 💖” - anon. demon!au.

tricky things | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎, sequel.  ↳ summary: you’ve been known as many things: friendly, beautiful, jeon jungkook’s best friend, and now, a half-demon’s half-demon girlfriend. continuation of demon!jungkook. demon!au.

gangster ceo!jungkook | ・, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “Hii!!! I just found your blog and its awesome like im in love with the jungkook scenarios!! Since the requests are open can i request a gangster or ceo scenario with jungkook? you dont need to do both, you can do the one that seems easier i guess if you do decide to take this request and continue writing awesome stuff!!” - anon. gangster!au + ceo!au.

highlight of my life | ⦿, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: you’re bts’ makeup artist, and a certain golden maknae has a crush on you. he expresses this in the only way he knows how: with the help of his hyungs.

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

amour chassé-croisé | ⦿, ☁︎, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: by day, you’re just a normal teenager in love with a popular model that goes to your school, jeon jungkook. but by night? you protect the city of paris under the alias ladybug, assisted by the ever elusive, ever anonymous, and ever so flirtatious, chat noir. you’ve always wondered who chat noir really is under the mask, but he may just be closer than you think. miraculous ladybug!au + superhero!au.

boyfriend!jungkook | ▪︎.

↳ summary: jungkook as your boyfriend.

isn’t she lovely | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: he didn’t know he could love someone this much, after you. dad!au.

milkshake man | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: 14. “One milkshake down.” ⇢ jungkook’s worst nightmare comes true: his child is lactose intolerant. dad!au.

⎡SEUNGCHEOL⎦

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

three’s company | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾,☁︎.

↳ summary: the basketball team captain and the bookish loner both have crushes on you. this sounds an awful lot like a movie you’ve seen before. high school!au.

call me lover boy | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly.” college!au.

⎡JEONGHAN⎦

boyfriend!jeonghan | ・, ♥︎.

↳ summary: you’re one of seventeen’s stylists and jeonghan makes it his mission to be your man. boyfriend!au.

howl’s moving castle!jeonghan | ▪︎, ☾.

↳ summary: jeonghan as howl from howl’s moving castle.

⎡JOSHUA⎦

college boyfriend!joshua | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: local campus coffee shop barista, film animation major, and heartthrob joshua hong falls in love with the unsuspecting you, more at six. college!au.

cat caught your tongue | ✎, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: every witch needs a familiar. unfortunately for joshua, you might just be the most troublesome one yet. witch!au.

⎡JUN⎦

the great autumnal compromise | ✎, ♥︎.

↳ summary: if you were going to fight a complete stranger (and a very handsome one at that) over the perfect pumpkin, well… go hard or go home, dignity be damned.

⎡SOONYOUNG⎦

dad!hoshi | ・+ ▪︎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: soonyoung’s life takes a turn for the tough when he’s left to raise triplets all on his own, but a certain cute elementary teacher makes it all a little easier. dad!au.

⎡WONWOO⎦

college boyfriend!wonwoo | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: wonwoo is used to sticking to the shadows, but you just might be the only person who can pull him out of his shell… and he won’t stop blushing about it! college!au.

model!wonwoo | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: you’re a photographer and your favorite subject is jeon wonwoo. model!au.

bodyguard!wonwoo | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: he’s a lover, a fighter, and someone you didn’t expect to care about as much as you do. bodyguard!au.

bonnie and clyde | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: “I’m a thief/hacker/murderer and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner". hacker!au.

three’s company | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾,☁︎.

↳ summary: the basketball team captain and the bookish loner both have crushes on you. this sounds an awful lot like a movie you’ve seen before. high school!au.

morning routine | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist.”

i never meant to make you bleed | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “you can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me” ⇢ he will always be your stardust boy. the good place!au.

⎡JIHOON⎦

college boyfriend!jihoon | ・, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: nationwide known piano prodigy and secretly known campus dj jihoon falls for you the first time on accident. he falls harder for you the next time on purpose. college!au.

⎡SEOKMIN⎦

the barkchelor | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “Hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?” additionally, “You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.” 

⎡MINGYU⎦

boyfriend!mingyu | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: you’re a trainee at pledis, mingyu really wants you to like him. how cute. boyfriend!au.

ice cream for sweetheart | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: as far as you’re concerned, kim mingyu is good for nothing. but on a particularly hot summer day, it’s proven that that’s not totally true. bad boy!au.

winter blues | ✎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: 60. “You are my sunshine.” husband!au.

bodyguard!mingyu | ・, ☾, ♥︎, ✓

↳ summary: he’s clumsy, he’s nervous, and he really piques your interest. bodyguard!au.

⎡MINGHAO⎦

college boyfriend!minghao + animal shelter volunteer!minghao | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: xu minghao can admit he loves two things in life: animals, and of course, you. college!au + animal shelter volunteer!au.

⎡VERNON⎦

boyfriend!vernon | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: you work at a café and vernon comes by from time to time to get lyric inspiration (hint: he actually comes to look at you). boyfriend!au.

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

⎡ALL⎦

babysitter!monsta x | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: monsta x as babysitters!

⎡HYUNWOO⎦

college boyfriend!shownu | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: hyunwoo is a dancer and you fall in love in pilates class. college!au.

hercules!shownu | ▪︎, ☾.

↳ summary: shownu as disney!hercules.

zeus’ place | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: “zeus’ place is a café invented for demigods, magical creatures, and humans alike to mingle and drink great coffee under a magical glamour that conceals the identities of anyone not fully human!” ⇢ hyunwoo happens to be the son of zeus on top of being a very popular barista at Zeus’ Place, but between daughters of Aphrodite and blue-skinned nymphs, he finds himself falling for a beautiful (and very flustering) human: you. demigod!au.

⎡HOSEOK⎦

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

hate me now | ✎, ☁︎.

↳ summary: love is a fleeting feeling. it’d be nice if that thought was mutual.

today, i smile | ✎, ☁︎, slight ♥︎, sequel.

↳ summary: what nobody told him about being in love is that it can’t just go away, and sometimes, it never really leaves in the first place. a continuation of hate me now.

⎡MINHYUK⎦

jack frost!minhyuk | ▪︎, ☾.

↳ summary: minhyuk as jack frost.

college boyfriend!minhyuk | ・, ♥︎, ☾, mentions of ✕, ✓.

↳ summary: minhyuk is your building’s RA, and a really cute one at that. college!au.

nothing fucks with my baby | ⦿, ❨, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: inspired by prompt 6. “Just drive, I don’t care about the destination, just drive.” you remember him. he’s a good person, always has been and always will be. right? zombie apocalypse!au, exes to lovers!au.

⎡KIHYUN⎦

a whisper, a tune | ⦿, ☾, ☁︎, slight ♥︎.

↳ summary: “Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?“ dystopian!au.

⎡HYUNGWON⎦

college boyfriend!hyungwon | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: hyungwon is a chemistry major/model on campus who has a problem with you, a budding photographer/eyebrow destroyer. but an impromptu coffee date and an impulsive kiss later says otherwise. college!au.

funny habits | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳summary: “You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.”  ⇢ this wasn’t what you were expecting to find out over an exchange of homemade cookies.hybrid!au.

⎡JOOHEON⎦

snowball fights and cold kisses | ⦿, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…” with a lil twist

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

tough guy | ✎, ♥︎, ☁︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: to everyone in your city, lee jooheon is a force to be reckoned with. to his gang members, he’s their fearless and strong leader. but to you? he’s the boyfriend who forgot to bring home eggs like you asked four times. biker gang!au.

⎡CHANGKYUN⎦

truce | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: “I’m up to the challenge.” rival!au.

eye for an eye | ✎,♥︎,☁︎,☾,✓.

↳ summary: “This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?” rival!au.

⎡TAEYONG⎦

boyfriend!taeyong | ・, ♥︎.

↳ summary: taeyong is really shy and doesn’t know how to tell you he likes you, but when he does, it’s bliss. boyfriend!au.

could be worse | ✎, ♥︎, mentions of ✕, ✓.

↳ summary: “You’re very attractive but that’s still a weird fucking kink.” + “I’m not religious but I’ve never prayed so hard in my life until that moment.”

⎡TAEIL⎦

college boyfriend!taeil | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: mr. piano man, sing me a dream. or, music major!taeil has big dreams and you are one of the ones that come true.

⎡YUTA⎦

college boyfriend!yuta | ・, ♥︎, ☁︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: kiss kiss fall (down in defeat playing soccer with a near professional athlete) in love. college!au.

⎡KUN⎦

of goats and prophecies | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “Oh calm down, it’s just an ancient glowing sword. Nothing to be scared of.” ⇢ gods and immortal warriors and goats falling from the sky… and kun wants to share a few choice words with whatever entity that made him a part of a prophecy to kill a demon king. fantasy!au, kinda medieval!au, reincarnation!au if you squint. 

⎡JUNGWOO⎦

gardener!jungwoo | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: kim jungwoo: stealing hearts and planting flowers is all in a day’s work.

⎡YUKHEI⎦

bad boy!yukhei | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: wong yukhei is the bad boy of your school- oh, you’re kidding, right? he really is the bad boy of the school? please, tell me you’re joking.

like the kind of movie we used to hate | ✎, ☁︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: “he’s [great]. I hope he makes you happy.” ex!au.

⎡MARK⎦

a fairy king and an elven warrior walk into a nerd convention | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: “Friends can kiss each other a little from time to time, right?” cosplay!au.

no choir | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “I gathered you here to hide from some vast unnameable fear, but the loneliness never left me, I always took it with me. But I can put it down in the pleasure of your company.” when everything feels a little too overwhelming, the most simple and most important comforts come from his touch. high school!au. 

⎡RENJUN⎦

elementary | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: all you leave behind is the ghost of your touch on Renjun’s skin and the memory of a person who had finally gained that upper hand. detective!au, criminal!au.

⎡JENO⎦

a little gift | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: for the last couple of months, a certain friendly neighborhood superhero has been leaving you your favorite coffee every morning when you get to school. you don’t know how he knows you (or your favorite coffee order), but you’ve got a funny feeling you’re gonna find out soon. spiderman!au.

language of the flora | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: : jeno’s too shy to confess his crush on you with words, the barista who works next door to his flower shop, so he decides a clever alternative is through the language of flowers. there is only one problem… you’re not that fluent in plant. florist!au.

for real love | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “Friends can kiss each other a little from time to time right?” robot!au.

two of a kind | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓, sequel. ↳ summary: stubbornness was one of his best traits. robot!au.

lullaby | ✎, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: you share a moment with jeno in the moonlight. boyfriend!au.

when the bones are good | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: ❝when there ain’t a crack in the foundation, I know any storm we’re facing will blow right over while we stay good. the house don’t fall when the bones are good.❞ optional epilogue (to battlecry).

⎡DONGHYUCK⎦

runaways | ✎, ☁︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: 47. “Who did this to you?” + 54. “Please don’t shut me out.” mafia!au.

tulips | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: “tulips, the beautiful you. tulips, so lovable.” barista!au + college!au.

snowy day with haechan | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: your new boyfriend takes you on a date out on the town during your first winter together.

⎡JAEMIN⎦

friends to lovers!jaemin and jisung | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: as told by the title.

battlecry | ⦿,☾, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: love is cruel, ignorance is bliss, and all good kings must learn this. prince!au, knight!au.

when the bones are good | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓. ↳ summary: ❝when there ain’t a crack in the foundation, I know any storm we’re facing will blow right over while we stay good. the house don’t fall when the bones are good.❞ optional epilogue. 

⎡JISUNG⎦

friends to lovers!jaemin and jisung | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: as told by the title.

⎡ALL⎦

frat boy!got7 | combined ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: got7 as frat boys!

babysitter!got7 | combined ・, ♥︎, ☾.

↳summary: got7 as babysitters!

grocery store worker!got7 | combined ・, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: got7 working at a grocery store!

⎡JAEBUM⎦

ghost!jaebum | ・, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: you talk to ghosts, and a kid named bambam asks you to help communicate with his dead big brother jaebum. (really sad) cuteness ensues. supernatural!au.

why she stayed | ⦿, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: fan hate pushes you to leave jaebum for good, but it’s only so long before you remember all the reasons why you stayed in the first place.

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

⎡MARK⎦

imaginary friend!mark | ・, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: mark died before he could watch his little sister grow up, and you’re the new babysitter. mark’s little sister has a lot of explaining to do. supernatural!au.

college boyfriend!mark | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: mark is the best boyfriend ever. college!au.

the things we do for love | ⦿, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: your boyfriend mark is an art student, and he’s nothing if not one with his art. literally. art student!au.

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

roommate!mark | ・, ♥︎, ☾. ✓.

↳ summary: mark as your rooommate. roommate!au.

⎡JACKSON⎦

i’ll always make it back to you (m) | ⦿, ☁︎, ♥︎, ✕.

↳ summary: you and jackson promised to be best friends through anything, be it high school, significant others, or growing up. of course, neither of you had ever anticipated that a little more than two years later, a widespread virus would infest the entire world, and would rip you away from the one person you held close. you were lost, dying, and ready to give up on ever finding him again, but jackson had other plans. zombie hunter!au.

boyfriend!jackson | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: jackson as a boyfriend, because… everyone wants jackson as a boyfriend. boyfriend!au.

⎡JINYOUNG⎦

goblin!jinyoung | ・,☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: jinyoung is a goblin who lost his first love nearly a thousand years ago. you happen to come into his life as the goblin’s bride, and he can’t help wondering why you seem so familiar. supernatural!au.

one of those days | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: “It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR”. neighbor!au.

⎡YOUNGJAE⎦

ghost!youngjae | ・, ☾, ☁︎, ♥︎.

↳ summary: you move into a new apartment and you meet your new dead roommate, choi youngjae. supernatural!au.

⎡BAMBAM⎦

ghost!bambam | ・, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: bambam dies and starts haunting a house. you’re a real estate agent that really needs to sell that house. survival of the fittest. supernatural!au.

not all bad | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: “You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies"

⎡YUGYEOM⎦

spirit!yugyeom | ・, ☾, ♥︎, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: yugyeom is a spirit trapped in a ouija board and you have too much time on your hands. supernatural!au.

down, boy | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓, epilogue.

↳ summary: yugyeom is insistent that he’s a big, bad demon you should be scared of. you believe him… right up until you realize he’s literally not that at all. supernatural!au.

boyfriend!yugyeom | ・, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: dating yugyeom is about as nice as you think it is. which is really nice. boyfriend!au.

to the rhythm | ✎, ☾, implied ✕.

↳ summary: “I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit”. dancer!au.

⎡JENNIE⎦

a very biased christmas | ⦿, ☾, ♥︎.

↳ summary: it’s the biggest christmas party of the season, you’re dared to be blindfolded and kissed under the mistletoe with the mission of finding the culprit, only, you have way too many suspects.

say my name | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓, spin-off. ↳ summary: there’s something really funny about beating out eight guys and stealing the heart of your friend in a game of blindfolded kissing. jennie would know. after all, she just did it. written for if you picked jennie in “a very biased christmas”.

cherry | ✎, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: you’re being kidnapped. well, it’s not really kidnapping if the girl doing the kidnapping is a 5′4 ball of badass who’s also your girlfriend and really bad at putting together romantic surprises but… semantics.

⎡LISA⎦

blue lagoon | ✎, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: your parents always told you to steer clear of the too blue waters, for they might hold more than meets the eye. mermaid!au.

⎡JINWOO⎦

how to train your sanha | ✎, ♥︎, ☾, ✓.

↳ summary: 11. “You want me to take care of a dragon? Me, the person who can’t take care of a cactus.” fantasy!au.

⎡EUNWOO⎦

all this and heaven too | ✎, ☾, ♥︎, ✓.

↳ summary: 3. “Yes, they’re perfect, but…” fantasy!au, royalty!au, how to train your sanha!au.

⎡MINHYUK⎦

college boyfriend!rocky | ・, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary: you sit next to a cute dancer in the back of a business class. don’t tell him I told you this, but he thinks you’re pretty cute too.

⎡YOUNGHYUN⎦

rough (but just around the edges) | ✎, ♥︎, ☾.

↳ summary:  “Why do you sit with me at lunch everyday? We don’t even know each other and you never talk.” “I overheard some sleazy guys saying they would love to get you in bed and they happen to be terrified of me, so…” ⇢ he’s all dark eyes and scowls… except for you. bad boy!au.

⎡WONPIL⎦

a confession, of sorts | ⦿, ♥︎, ☁︎.

↳summary: “Why does everyone want to date the drummer? Keyboardists work just as hard, you know!” ⇢ wonpil gets a little drunk after a show and he’s got some choice words for dowoon… and you, his crush.

disclaimer: author is still learning personalities!

⎡WOOSUNG⎦

pillow talk | ✎, ♥︎.

↳ summary: he’s got an angelic voice, whether he’s singing his heart out on stage or whispering sweet nothings to you over the phone at three in the morning.

⎡SEULGI⎦

nothing like us | ✎, ☾, ☁︎, ✓.

↳ summary: 8. “You’re married?” + 12. “How exactly are you going to help me with my problem?” soulmate!au.

⎡DEAN | KWON HYUK⎦

boyfriend!dean | ・, ♥︎, mentions of ✕.

↳ summary: hyuk falls for you on the set of his music video, and he’s a pretty good boyfriend. if only he could stop intruding on your showers. boyfriend!au.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Anything written here is one hundred percent my own, and I confirm that if anything inspired a story on my blog, it was properly credited.

All rights reserved by jungnoir ©  2016-2020.

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Hearts & Other Body Parts Review

Rating: (⅖)

So…. I’ll start by saying...Hearts & Other Body Parts was okay. Not the best of YA fiction but not OVERLY terrible.

I was initially attracted by the cover. Black and red with fun, gothic typography; my aesthetic. Opening the cover to read the synopsis on the other hand, I was hardly as impressed;

“A novel of love and monsters.

Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herself strangely -- almost romantically -- drawn to both his oversized brain and oversized heart.

The second new arrival is Zack, an impossibly handsome late transfer from the UK who has the girls at school instantly mesmerized. Soon even sensible Esme has forgotten Norman, and all three sisters are in a flat-out hex war to win Zack. But while the magic is flying, only Norman seems to notice that students who wander off alone with Zack end up with crushed bones and memory loss. Or worse, missing entirely.

Hearts & Other Body Parts is a wickedly addictive novel about love, monsters, loyalty, and oh yeah, a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat.”

Can you see where I hesitated? Around “the nice guy is the only one who sees what’s wrong with his romantic rival and has to “rescue” his crush from thinking she loves the other guy”? Yeah. But hey, I thought, I got through Heartless and ended up liking it more than I thought I would so maybe this one will be a little cringe worthy in the beginning but pull out a decent ending too.     

I was half right. There were definitely parts that made me need to lay down for a minute like #GiveUsASnog, the blatant stereotypes masquerading as inclusivity, the frankly alarming overuse of the term “beautiful girls”...

It never managed to pull itself together in a way that made the ending worth it. About halfway through I found the writing continued to lack and there was hardly any substance to keep me there. I powered through purely for the sake of this review. It wasn’t that it was BAD, just all around lack luster. Certainly not the WORST, but just… boring. 

Honestly though, “not the worst” is probably the best thing I can say about this book. I can appreciate what it was trying to be. A campy bit of romantic horror that played off of big name monsters like Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, and Witches. Nothing more than a bit of fun. Unfortunately the fun wears off in the first few chapters. A good B Horror relies on being so terrible it’s good, making use of overdone tropes but putting enough twist and creativity into it that it comes together into something memorable even if it’s totally cheesy. Hearts & Other Body Parts fails this on the most basic level. Sure, it’s filled to the brim with all the cliches you could ever want in a B Horror, but it doesn’t have the creativity it takes to bring it together. Instead, we’re left with a collection of poorly thought out characters, a forgettable plot line, and an ending that leaves you wondering if the eight hours it took to read was really worth it.

The answer is no. No it was not and yet I bought it because I was promised a good time.

Side tangent, I’ve noticed a trend in formatting when trying to look up published reviews for books. They paste in a summary of the book and then the writer spends one or two brief paragraphs talking about it in the most ambiguous way possible with a couple of buzzwords like ‘witty’, ‘inventive’, and ‘funny’ tossed in for good measure. You’ll also see the phrase, “I was given a free copy of the book for an honest review.” Honest, yet they don’t tell you WHY a book was funny or inventive, and they definitely don’t tell you if the book was bad, honest or not. Marketing at it’s finest.

So yeah, I’m going to tear this bitch to shreds. I’m going to talk about everything in this book and I’m going to do it in the plainest language I can. It won’t be pretty, but that’s the point. I don’t want it to be filled with flowery language because that shit is hard to write and takes away from the point of the message. No fluff, no buzzwords, no mercy. There will be spoilers, so be warned because I’ll be talking about the ending to this book A LOT.

Let’s start with the backbone of a story; the characters. Hearts & Other Body Parts switches point of view chapter to chapter, sometimes in the middle of a chapter and sometimes whenever the fuck it feels like it. This would be fine, especially if the characters had strong voices, but everyone in this book sounds almost exactly the same. It makes for stilted, awkward dialogue as well. Jokes made by characters don’t land because the conversations they were having felt unnatural.

The only one who had some semblance of a narration style is Norman. Norman is not the main character but it felt like Bloom REALLY wanted him to be and ends up as the most fleshed out character in the book. Considering that every single character in this book is a high school stereotype, that’s saying something.

The witchy sisters this book touted to be the main players felt like one girl broken into three that had never been raised together. The summary calls them smart, talented, and gorgeous and they’re exactly that, in that order. They all get to have only one thing according to B Horror laws and they can’t possibly share anything. Yes they lived in the same house, yes they sit at lunch together but nothing beyond that suggests that they're actually related. They riff on each other occasionally like siblings might but there are no mentions of shared interests and we hardly get to see into Veronica or Katy’s lives aside from “one is super hot and likes makeup and the other likes fashion subcultures and dogs”. I didn't even know Katy was supposed to be a jokester until another character pointed out that she was. As for Veronica, the gorgeous one, she’s youngest sister and only fourteen. Creepy.

Esme, the actual main character of the book, falls victim to the “sudden rash decision heroine” trope. She’s shown previously to have been level headed and intelligent yet when, #spoilers, her sisters are kidnapped by the book’s villains, Zack and the Ancient, she’s suddenly running into a death trap by herself without a plan. Of course, she’s stopped in the nick of time by Norman who is still sensible because he’s smart and also a man. It’s an exhausting trope to have to read over and over again in YA books with female leads, especially leads that are supposed to be intelligent planners.

In the end, Veronica and Katy just end up becoming a combined damsel in distress trope. They only exist to give main character Esme someone to save and to push along the finale. Afterwards, we hear that they “recover” but we don’t see any lasting effects. Bad Guy Zack is still left alive. How do they feel about this? We just don’t know. Norman is the most thought out character in the book, but really at his center he’s still an obnoxious “nice guy” and his very existence feels almost as if the author was pushing an agenda. “Look girls, he may be ugly but he’s intellectual and kind! He’s obviously the correct romantic choice because he’s a NICE GUY.” Norman himself doesn’t do anything overly untoward but the author pushes Esme and Norman together in the worst way. Bad Guy Zack is handsome and the guy all the girls want but he’s just another dumb jock without substance who will cheat on you. So obviously the right choice is Norman.

Having a solid friendship just isn’t an option and looks aren’t EVERYTHING, until, oh wait, they are. In the end even Esme is so unconvinced of her attraction to Norman that she feels she has to drug herself with a love potion to feel anything and drug HIM with a beauty potion in order to make him lovable--which is ableist by the way--and sends the message to disabled readers, “sorry but if you're not at least semi conventionally attractive, no one can truly love you.” The fact that she feels required to be with him because he loves her says it all, really. Speaking of Bad Guy Zack though, his ending was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. Throughout the story we are shown glimpses of his relationship with his vampiric master, the Ancient. In the beginning we’re told that the Ancient chose Zack for a very specific reason. What that reason was, we’re never really told but I’m guessing it’s somewhere along the lines of “he’s hot” and because he’s hot, it makes it easier to draw in women to serve as food sources. The Ancient coerces Zack into doing his bidding and kidnapping women by enthralling him with the use of his vampiric mesmer abilities. Of course, when Zack fails (or whenever the Ancient feels like it apparently) he’s beaten and tortured for hours. These beating are apparently so terrible that the only thing that saves Zack is his fledgling vampire durability; if he was human, he’d only last for a few minutes.

So to reiterate, Bad Guy Zack is actually Abused Minor Zack forcibly coerced into kidnapping girls by his father figure/master. Yes, he’s a player, yes he strung along the sisters in order to eventually kidnap them but if he didn’t he would be tortured. He’s an abused minor repeatedly shown to have remorse for his actions along with other qualities that could have made for a potentially decent redemption arc but instead he is “adopted” by Norman’s father and instead of receiving therapy or support, he submits himself to to being locked in a cage and wanting to take “any punishment that could be meted out to him,” including his own self harm which was described as “absolutely medieval” in design. The idea that a victim of of this type of psychological and physical abuse would would consider himself guilty and deserving of punishment isn't unrealistic but the fact that self harm to the extent described was being seen as acceptable is laughable at best and disgusting at worst. I’m not sure whether to look to the narration of Esme or the writer himself for this but considering Esme’s upbringing, it wouldn't make much sense for her to see any amount of self harm or abuse as normal. As for the Ancient himself, he suffers from a case of overhyped villain. We’re shown repeatedly that he’s willing to do terrible things and told repeatedly that he’s extremely powerful but in the end, it takes all of 7 pages to take him down and I’m being generous with that number. The majority of those 7 pages is even spent with him TALKING about how he’s going to kill Esme without doing anything to support that. The final battle, if you could call it that, is entirely fluff and any sort of threat that the Ancient might have posed instantly fell short the second he started talking.

Esme also has the support of her not-so-japanese, not-so-corpse-eating, demon familiar Kasha who takes the form of a cat and information dump character right along with demon ex machina for the final battle. There is literally no other reason to this character. The chapter that has him get involved with the fight is literally called “Deamon Ex Machina”.  You could have replaced him with a decent google search and the story would have lost nothing. It would have even saved the book from one of its multi-page info dumps and a terrible joke about gophers used 5 too many times. The ending might have even been halfway decent without Kasha. The Ancient might have become the threat he should have been and we could have had an exciting, climactic fight. Instead we got a ridiculous game of cat and mouse that had the terrifying villain reduced to a mess resigned to his fate. Boring.

All of the side characters had this sort of simplification of personality too. The LGBT characters especially suffered from this. Esme’s mother is referred to as a lesbian while also being absent, evoking that age old “gay people are terrible parents” adage. Nick, the background football player, had to be shown by white cis-het Esme that being gay was okay, after which he immediately becomes a fashion obsessed trope despite no hint of him showing interest in it before. You can tell he’s also meant to become a comic relief character, but the jokes are entirely centered around him being gay and effeminate. If that wasn’t the worst, the only trans inclusion comes in the form of the Goddess who offers to show Esme her genitals as proof of being intersex without any prior prompting. Because thats a thing that people do.

Hearts & Other Body Parts was touted for its humor and intelligence but the jokes more often fell flat, and the intelligence came only in the form of page long wiki-esque information dumps and latin terms tossed in for the sake of sounding smart. It fails to be smart in ways that matter. The lack of character depth is one thing, but there were times when I had to set book the book down for a moment because immersion was completely broken by a plot hole or interaction that did nothing to support the character, story, or humor.

For instance, after Esme finally breaks free of Zack’s hypnosis, she makes her way to Norm’s house to meet his father Dr.Frank: a scientist that has important information on vampires. Shortly after she arrives, so does football player, stereotypical meathead Jackson. Earlier he had been in a fight with Zack and left him with extreme anxiety regarding speaking about the fight. Jackson is looked over by Dr.Frank and then given a cocktail of anti-anxiety drugs and narcotics to make him sensible and able to explain who hurt him. Afterwards, Jackson is never mentioned having an issue with panic attacks again. While it’s mentioned he doesn't sleep much, hinting at the anxiety, this doesn't cause him any issue with functioning in general or assisting Esme with tracking the vampires. That is:

A.) Not how sleep deprivation works. B.) Not how anxiety works. C.) Suggests that not only did Dr. Frank medicate an underage child without parental consent but that he CONTINUED to supply this child with medication.

This is one of the most jarringly immersion breaking instances but there are several more like it along with a multitude of smaller instances such as typing an entire url instead of using the search bar, purposefully cooking a brisket until it’s dry, and not considering that other LGBT people may exist outside of the chosen three which would have entirely messed up the “only some men are immune to vampire mesmer“ thing. It leaves one wondering if Bloom thought a lot of this through, or if he simply wrote himself into a corner a few times and had to come up with something on the fly to fix it.

This book was a struggle to read and even now, I’m struggling to come up with anything positive to balance out the negative. The grammar was decent. The sentence structure wasn't bad, but decent syntax only means so much when it’s the content itself that’s the issue. I’m not asking for a serious drama from a book meant to be along the same lines as a Syfy special, but I am asking for at least some effort. The plot was a forgettable ode to nice guys, the humor was flat, the pacing was off, the characters were walking cliches, the representation borderline phobic, and the ending was entirely anticlimactic. The writing wasn’t the WORST but it wasn’t good either. It was as if Bloom had only wanted to get a book published and nothing more so he wrote the most generic crap he could manage then tossed in some black and red with a Japanese cat as a hook. I can't say it didn't work because I spent money on this snooze-fest but damn. Reading Hearts & Other Body Parts was a slog. If it had been terrible, it might have met its B horror mark. It was a slog not because it was bad, but because it was just plain mediocre.

Ira Bloom, nice try but for your next book, a little more effort would be appreciated. Thanks. #SorryNotSorry.