#yknow . do you get it person possibly reading my tags
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biggest hope for tsc is that jeremy knox has a janky car he loves with his whole heart
#aftg#i dont think about jeremy or jean that often but if i did most of the time its abt jeremys car i made up🔥#methinks hed have a car thats older and like the fromt bumper got ripped off and replaced so its a entirely dif color#names it. refers to his car as ‘my girl’.#jeremy is just some socal guy to me#drives down a road with all his windows rolled down and loves it#jean sitting in his passenger seat squinting because hes not to fond of the wind but would like to see the road pass them by#yknow . do you get it person possibly reading my tags
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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◜ ❗𓂃 Space Station Reports ‧ ❕ ◞
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DO NOT INTERACT WITH @KODASWRLD
now that that's out of the way, we will be discussing NSFW briefly in this post, please make sure you are reading when in a safe mindset. All moots will be tagged at the end for further reach, i apologize to anyone i ping who does not like to be pinged[/g] however this is a serious topic to me and i want this to reach as far as possible
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Beforehand:
Hello kiddos, this is a more in-depth report from the one we made [here] about the up and growing agere creator Kodaswrld. I found their[i cant remember their pronouns rn] blog a few months ago, and absolutely fell in love. I loved their dividers, their text posts, and all the freestyling on their blog!
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September:
On september 10th, 2024, we created a post called "Agere Backpack ideas"! The next day [Sep 11th, 24], while scrolling through a creator i also thoroughly enjoy, i saw a post they had reblogged.... It was our backpack ideas, but it wasnt written by me... in fact, it was re-uploaded by someone who i thought created interesting content. I commented under the original post to take it down as we did not consent to our work getting re-uploaded. They deleted our comment. A few days later after fd calmed me from my panic attack, we sent an ask to take down our post as we did not consent to our content being reposted. At the start of our blog, i did have "do not rewrite" on our blog, however because nothing ever happened, i took it away when we changed into the space station nursery. They deleted our ask. a week or more later [unfortunately i dont remember at this point anymore] They closed asks under the guise of "getting hate"
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Current:
After everything happened, fd scoured around to create a blacklist. At this time, i had finally calmed down, and was ready to blacklist. Before we got to it tho, i saw a post created by another agere creator in which Koda had stolen from. This creator asks that all followers or people interacting report if their content was being reposted, as koda had taken one of their posts, and it got SIGNIFICANTLY more notes, as well as Koda copying their DNI banner, just changing the font and small images on the side:
Original post that Koda stole, at the time, post had at max 200 notes, minimum 150. OP name and pfp covered for privacy
Copied post made by Koda. Notice the amount of notes it has [if you check] 740 notes
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This is not the only instance of this happening with Koda, and no "but they add credits" is not a viable defense here. We did not tell them they could do this, and they did not ask, by the looks of all posts, they didnt ask ANYONE to use their posts. The little credits at the bottom is also hard to see, especially by those who are visually impaired. I had an almost blind friend check out their post, and that friend couldnt even see the credits without us zooming in and circling it for the friend to see. Thats a problem. And people who see it but dont think much of it [like me] will not click the credits. I didnt. and i apologize to those whom i contributed to as apart of the problem
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So what else needs to be discussed?
Well, before we get to the NSFW they interact with, lets go with the tracing and stealing. Thank you to the person that sent us this [will not name for the safey of the individual but they are free to comment and let you guys know! They sent a non anonymous ask but still, yknow?]
So-.... Proof?
This is a screenshot sent to us that shows a user by the name of @/b4bybear_ , crediting their BF and CG @/SEABUNE for creating an image we all know and love, and have MOST LIKELY SEEN amongst agere intros [all blue markings have been made by me]
As you can see in the second image, the user is written on the bottom, exactly how its written on the twitter post. This image is widely available, and many many individuals use it..... However, Koda didnt seem to care
As you can see, Koda NOT ONLY traced, changed a singular item, and erased the original creators credits, they then wrote their own name on the bottom and claimed this post as their own. And no, changing one thing on an art post while still tracing everything else is not "creating your own content" or "taking inspo" This is blatant copying. This is further than just stealing text posts, they are stealing
ART from other sources [nsfw below]
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And now, the NSFW....
Kodaswrld does have their following open, meaning that littles, middles, and anyone visiting their blog can see who they interact with. These are some of the blogs they currently follow, and content they post/reblog:
@/slvttyfied
@/firstladyofjuicycouture12
Whilst being 18+, there is nothing wrong with interacting and following NSFW content and blogs. However if you are running a blog with a minor following [not small amount of people, minors. people 17 and under] you should not have your follows seen if you are interacting with this kind of content. Minors are curious, and you are exposing them to things they do not yet need to see or know about. Especially when kinks/hard kinds are involved. I am 21 and fd is 22. We will NEVER, allow nsfw blogs or rebloggers to interact with our content
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Final thoughts:
Through our mini blacklist, we have found out that koda knows what they are doing, and are actively avoiding discussing it. We also learned that they ship real people [called rps or "real people shipping"], and for having almost 800 followers, do not deserve it. Please, spread this far and wide, show your friends, you moots, reblog it even if it doesnt fit your aesthetic. This person NEEDS to be stopped.
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Our moots: @oftlunarialmoon @nostalgic-woodwind , @zimswife , @deesblanketfort , @angel-bunnie @aprilsmabelmaple , @diaryofalittlestar , @h3ll0everybby1 , @xx-raines-space-kindergarten-xx [hi raaaaine]
#t✩⸜⸜agere reports 📢#dni with#kodaswrld#anti endo#agere report#age regression sfw#agere community#sfw age regression#age regression#art theft#autistic agere#agere blog#age regression caregiver#age regression community#noncom agere
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but like midnight darling with popular boy! reader though (inspired by our lord and savior @heartfullofleeches ‘s post about breeding)
for new readers: midnight darling is where my yan! college based ocs come from. you can read more about them via the first tag to this post or my masterlist
everyone would be goddamn pregnant. literally and figuratively. you’d think reader would be cautious enough to use protection since they sleep with so many people but nope! it just feels better when they do it raw yknow?
it’s come to the point that the goons made a system to prevent you (and by extension them) from getting an std at the very least by examining every single person on the campus daily.
dw they’re rich they can handle it.
in any case, by the time you reached your third year you’ve already impregnated most students and all of the teaching faculty with wombs. you’re literally a baby away from causing a crisis equal to those dodgy fertility clinics and the government from hounding your ass.
for some reason none of the rich kid’s parents sue you because like child, like parent they are super obsessed with you and particularly the genes you’d provide their family. besides it’s nothing a quick cover-up can’t handle.
like the only reason you haven’t been sent to jail is because you have connections to many people in power (mostly parents that wanted your sperm).
you had your doubts about your safety until you overheard in a dinner with crisanto salvador (main yan! rich kid) of his dad asking him if they could somehow implant a womb in the poor guy just to hold your baby. (which actually leads to advancements in reproductive technology in the future, im seriously tempted to change the mc’s canonical sex since it makes sense now oh god-)
there are some of the insane yans that use your child as a threat to keep you theirs in which you retaliated by using other yans to save your children.
cold-hearted or not, those babies are completely innocent and your responsibility, so as much as possible you do everything in your power to keep them out of harm’s way.
…
there’s definitely an underground market for your jizz i’m sorry-
©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023
#midnight darling 🏫#breeder reader is my new religion#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere ocs#yandere original character#yandere fic#yandere fiction#tw yandere#yandere core#yandere oc x reader#yandere ocs x reader#yandere imagine#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere reader insert#amab reader#male reader#yandere x amab reader
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yknow i say im a huge multishipper but i wouldnt actually consider myself much of a shipper at all. just open to the idea of trying everything once. the term has typically romantic connotations and follows the assumption that i think, and want, these characters to be good for eachother.
I'm, personally, less interested in the prexisting chemistry than i am in the puzzle of figuring out what differing circumstances could potentially cause two characters who have seemingly nothing in common to become eachothers everything.
This could explain my favorism towards rarepairs and more convoluted dynamics, and my aversion to popular, fluffy pairings that have already been explored a thousand times over, there's no work for me to do there.
Not to mention that when a ship becomes too popular it starts cannibalising itself, and lots of good, interesting characterisations are lost in the sea of people bending characters into pre-orchestrated, saccharine dynamics. alot of which are usually downright fetishy in nature, particularly in mlm pairings.
I mean i would say being able to get ooc and self indulgent is downright mandatory for making a good fic, but there's only so many times i have to read a fic about a big, overprotective, manly-man top who does all the work and the shy, small, swoony, softhearted femme-wifey-bottom before it starts to just be lazy.
I actively have to go out of my way to search 'switch' tags if i want true-to-the-character, mutual emotional reciprocation. which i really, really shouldn't have to do as an ace person who actively skips through nsfw.
And it's not that popular wlw pairings aren't guilty of these problems aswell, but those tend to lean more into the 'soft lesbians who can do no wrong' stereotype, which always completely (butch)ers all nuisance that makes the ship worth shipping in the first place.
As well as that's if they're even the focus of the story at all and aren't just shoved to the side by the main mlm couple. mlw pairings can be culpable of both these things, with the added risk that you find out the author made a twitter post with the characters in front of the 'super straight' flag.
Though i also wonder if me being aspec plays any part as again; im not as interested in the romantic aspects as i am in the possible hurdles they may face throughout the potential relationship.
Anyone else feel like this?
#though its not that i hate popular ships.#ill read anything if i find it interesting#cryptic ramblings#ship discourse (but not really)#fandom critical#fandom crit#fandom#this is about fandom and shipping culture in general but some places i see this in are#homestuck#genshin impact#zhongchi#davekat#dirkjake#ittogorou#kavetham#< these are ships i actually quite like. im just not too fond of the fanon characterizations of#dirkjake has gotten far better over the years though#if you have any more leave them in the tags#yknow for someone who hates discourse i sure do talk about it alot#in my defense it's the people who get really pressed over their pairings#and become aggressive at differing opinions that I don't like#oh and#neuvifuri#kazuscara#longpost#xiaoven#thomato#kaebedo#chiscara
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i hope yall can forgive me but i just need to be sappy for a minute
2024 for has been a really, really difficult year for me personally. tbh, the reason i started watching bls was because i desperately needed an escape from reality and romances always do that for me regardless of format. (and like tbh how was i supposed to resist a live action omegaverse show be so fr) and tbh it was only supposed to be one or two but i really ended up liking them and then i found not me which led me to finding the eclipse bc of first and then there was never any going back.
i contemplated coming this blog for a while before i actually did. i knew my old fandom was dead and i knew i wasn't going to be actually interacting with anyone much bc i was watching shows that were a year old minimum and no one would really be talking abt them anymore. plus i thought i was too old to be in a fandom if im honest. but i ended up doing it anyway partially bc i just had too much shit to say about the untamed and the eclipse and i needed somewhere to say it, but mostly bc i really just needed somewhere to be normal. like everywhere else in my life i felt like i needed to be On all the time or walking on eggshells and i just needed somewhere where i could just be, yknow? where i could just be lauren and have fun and not worry about how it might be perceived or how im supposed to be acting, even if i was just talking to myself
anyway sad as it might sound coming back here has probably been the highlight of my year. actually no watching the eclipse for the first time was probably the highlight of my year but this is a close second. especially since the heart killers has started airing. tbh i was genuinely having fun talking to myself in the tags but interacting with people and having people interacting with me and being able to over analyse this show like i used to and reading other people's analysis posts and tags has been so much fun and reminded me how much fun being an active part of a fandom can be, and for that i am so grateful.
i know this may seem like such a silly post to make esp considering this blog is tiny and only a handful of people actually interact with me but i need yall to know that the little interactions have honestly meant the world to me over these past few months. like you guys cant possibly know how nice it feels not only to have this space to just exist without having to think about all the other stuff going on in my life, but to have people actually respond? like my posts? leave nice tags? idk i just think i needed that. like dramatic as it sounds it was kinda like ok you do still exist. you're still here. we haven't lost you yet.
anyway the point of this post was to just say thank you for giving me this little bubble and for making me laugh and for being so kind and funny and talented and being a light in the world. because you are. every one of you. and that i love you. even if we've never spoken or interacted with each others posts, i love you. and i want to say that i'm proud of you all. from the bottom of my heart. i know it's hard out here. i know when i suffer i don't suffer alone. i know many of you have your own problems you're likely running away from here just like i am. and so i wanted you to know that i love you and i'm proud of you even if all you manage is to wake up in the morning. i'm proud of you all for getting through it even when it's hard and you feel aimless and pointless and don't know what to do. i know i'm just some random person on the internet, but if i can type words that make you smile and you can type words that make me smile, isn't that enough? to know that we both have so much value here despite how it feels sometimes?
so i pray that whatever has been difficult and heavy this past year can be left in 2024, and that 2025 will be kinder to all of us. i hope that we all find the strength to get through what we can't leave behind yet. and above all, i hope you're safe, and i hope you keep finding happiness where it is, which is often not some far off place but right here and right now.
lots of love, auntie lauren xoxo
#if you're reading this im your auntie now no take backs#and yes mightve cried a tiny bit writing this but im due on so it doesn't even count fr#anyway i know i sound a lil intense but i truly believe in acknowledging when youre grateful and i really am grateful for yall#all of u! i was gonna tag a few ppl but i didn't wanna make it weird but <3 you know#and i know this is cryptic im sorry i just dont wanna go into details bc like i said this is the place i go to get away from all of that#maybe i'll talk about it eventually but not now#and anyway it's new years! 2024 is almost over! we should be celebrating! bangtan year is upon us! we made it bitch!#i acc cant believe it. 2025. scifi ass year#anyway posting this now before i start drinking and stop making sense ily 💞
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{ this post is entirely ooc }
Hello there! Welcome to this Roleplay Blog out of a million however you might have gotten here. First, something important to get out of the way before getting into the actual intro info:
i am not part nor affiliated with the official BOGGIO team, personally being just a fan of the game / characters, and therefore nothing of which I say or do here should be taken as canon, this is simply a roleplay / parody account of one of their / PHIGHTING!'s characters. I can't possibly know every single detail about, well, anything and will very likely mess things up especially since I don't have a twitter and therefore can't exactly access any twitter posts made about phighting lore and such unless it's directly shared with me. Most of what's here is either taken by Soda's tumblr QnA, the Official Phighting Wiki ( the fandom.com one is outdated ) or my own personal Headcanons.
If you're still here and would like to continue reading this intro then without further ado lets get onto it ( click readmore )
( this is going to be a very long post )
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This is primarily just another silly little RP / Ask / Parody Blog for Medkit from the game PHIGHTING! on Roblox. I'm not exactly the best roleplayer however and might possibly get a tad out of character from time to time if I'm not careful, which I do apologize if that ends up happening.
It might also take me a while to answer and respond to stuff due to the fact that I tend to like to think for a good while before deciding to do so ( or i might just straight up forget / get distracted in which case you are welcome to direct my attention back to it ).
I'll likely also send in some Roblox screenshots and such both IC and OOC. ( with something to differentiate which is which of course )
Although my art's not exactly the best I will likely try to respond with a simple doodle or drawing from time to time because well it's fun to do and I feel that it could make some things seem more interesting and such. :)
Most of the drawings and SS's here are simply my own but I will make sure to provide credits and such if I use someone else's stuff for my own purposes of course!!
Aslong as you aren't NSFW ( gore / graphic stuff is fine by me but will be tagged just incase anyone else isn't fine with it or is made uncomfortable by it ), Racist, Transphobic, Homophobic, A proshipper / comshipper, abelist, aphobic, zionist or otherwise just not really that good then I'm completely open to interactions most of the time! If I don't answer right away then I'm probably busy / distracted but I will try to get to it as fast as I can when I do notice it. I don't mind AU or OC interactions but try to let me know the context behind relationships and such beforehand!
I am relatively fine with shipping aslong as it, yknow, isn't bad, forced or a proship / comship or anything but due to personal preference and the fact that I do headcanon Medkit as Demiromantic I would prefer to take it slow at first atleast. I might also ask for reasoning though that's just out of curiosity if it's something I'm not familiar with.
The Mod / Blog Runner doesn't exactly take things too seriously most of the time and swears a lot so that'll probably reflect in OOC posts. I have pretty bad bad grammar / English aswell so if there's any particularly bad mistakes do make sure to point them out so I can fix them.
Not sharing the main blog for the time being but if you do recognize me then.. Hiiiii!
All in all, I am looking forward to interacting with this community and seeing what happens! :D
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Pronouns for Medkit - He / Him
Pronouns for Mod / Blog Runner - He / It / They / Xe
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Caution;
Do take in account that due to the nature and backstory of the character that this blog revolves around it will likely touch on some topics of extreme violence or atleast the aftermath of said violence, PTSD, Paranoia and Cults / Cult Life.
All of the above will atleast have an attempt to be properly tagged whenever directly mentioned / brought up. Please do let me know if I miss anything or need to use different / more tags.
More will be added to this if seen fit
Although for most of these I either have personal experience and / or tried to do excessive research about please do also let me know if I can do / portray something better!
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Key;
Normal Text in any way -> OOC
Chat + Italics -> Narration / Actions
" Green Chat in Quotations " -> Speech [ Italic Green Chat in square brackets ] -> Thoughts
Bold text in any of these likely just means that it's important or atleast that it should be a focus point. Small text will likely be less important or whispering / mumbling / in a quieter tone of voice depending on the context.
Will add more if needed
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Headcanons;
Suit / Main Reference made by myself.
If text too hard to or unable to read due to coloring here's the text left -> right, top -> bottom
Farsighted
Long Fur + Fands due 2 being blackrock born demon
Long, long-furred tail
Other than longer fangs nothing too remarkable about mouth
he / him under a transmasculine flag
Small Holes in gloves allowing unsheathed claws to stick out
Other;
Due to his current circumstances Medkit probably isn't really looking for love or a romantic relationship in the first place, nor would he probably be able to completely trust anyone viable for that position to get close enough or those feelings at the moment. That doesn't exactly mean he CAN'T but it's very unlikely.
Probably tired most of the time and all the caffeine from the coffee probably isn't helping. And back pain. Can't forget the back pain. This dude literally sleeps on a desk i cant imagine how that back feels.
Medkit usually doesn't let anyone other than the people he trusts on his blindspot / left side while idle and able just so that he can keep an eye on what's going on, frequently preferring to have that side closer to walls and other obstructions otherwise. Also likely so that he knows that someone would be watching on that side while he can't.
#phighting#phighting!#phighting rp#phighting ask blog#ask blog#medkit phighting#i am so so bery sorry for all the tags GRAH#introductory post#parody account#parody blog
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hey, just so you know, every time i open a post from this blog one of the recommended posts is an underage nsfw fanfic
im not judging you for it or anything because it was 10 years ago and i noticed you were a kid when it was posted, so im just telling you in case you wanted to delete it, since i. saw some anti-proship posts on your main yknow
https://www.tumblr.com/davekatgood/134899966281/keep-it-down
have good day
oh right also the about page link in your bio doesn't work
re: my link not working: FUUUUUUCK i will fix that eventually but i dont have my laptop rn and i dont feel like fussing with it on mobile
re: everything else:
this is actually something i’ve been thinking about a lot lately; the morality of writing/reading about teenagers having sex with each other. no abuse is taking place, it’s just.. teens being teens lol.
on top of that, well.. i haven’t really Said this publicly anywhere yet but i suppose my obscure sideblog that i rarely use is a great place for it: i don’t really care about anti/proship stuff anymore. like i just kind of got tired of caring, and i also think i was wrong for a lot of opinions i used to hold on the matter. i never even identified myself as an “anti” because i always saw the topic with more nuance, and frankly i myself have some kinks that ur typical anti would call me a proshipper over lmao.
my current opinions are just.. i find incest and adult/underage depictions disgusting, personally, and i make sure to avoid seeing that kind of thing as much as possible, but i don’t really care what other people do, as long as they aren’t actually being abusive in real life. i’m actually mutuals with a bunch of people who ARE into that stuff now and i just block the tags like i truly don’t care and find it to be none of my business. the idea of it still makes me uncomfortable but my discomfort does not equal morality and that’s my own problem, yknow? if you look at my byf on main you’ll notice i removed the part where i said not to follow if you’re a proshipper/ship incest etc. but idk honestly this is something i for sure think about a lot and get into thought loops about what’s “right” and i don’t really know for sure and i know i never will. so i guess im just taking the path that allowed me to be a little less angry all the time.
and as for a depiction where both characters are underage? i REALLY don’t care. i don’t find that weird or disgusting because it’s just.. idk… how it is?? lmao? idk how to explain this any better. teens have sexual experiences with each other. can we, as adults, not draw from those experiences in our art?
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Aww!!! I love your new Ayato story. To be honest, when I read the tags and the description, it was very hard for me to imagine a combination between Ayato and drugs, but I was very wrong, because now I started to get addicted to this story as well as Ayato. The idea feels so real and doable. I'm even now convinced that if Ayato was human in the canon universe, without those supernatural powers and vampiric sadism, he'd handle the situation in a similar way, since there's no way he'd be the asocial loser in class (-: However, his super beauty as a vampire doesn't work here, and it wouldn't be realistic just to exist to have friends :-*
hey anon! thank you so much! i'm excited to continue it, hoping i get another chapter in before christmas. here's the fic for anyone wondering, it's called the basketball diaries and i'll ramble a lil bit here, don't mind me.
putting it under a cut for discussions of drugs
so i've been writing drug addict fics for a real long time now and i generally consider myself able to make any character into an addict, primarily due to my wide scope of knowing and under the pretext of "it can happen to anyone", and in dialovers, i've now written shu, reiji, laito, subaru, ruki, kou, yuma and azusa. hence i moved to ayato.
ayato has gone up a lot in my heart since i first found dialovers in 2017 and especially since my re-obsession era in 2021. the more i read him, esp LE, the more i learn about his strengths and weaknesses. he's vulnerable, he's got academic trauma. he wants to do well, he does, but he's scared of trying because he doesn't want to make himself look stupid.
and contrary to the ayato can't read joke on my DL server, ayato can read and i think he's pretty smart if he really wants to do something. i.e. his MB after story he DOES get a degree but it's for yui's sake. he has to have a reason. and without said reason, he's void of motivation and frankly doesn't really know HOW to try.
you're right, ayato acts like a silly goofy big strong vampire because he's convincing himself he's The Shit. he bigs himself up as Yours Truly, pretends he's the best, because his entire self-worth growing up was based on the assumption he was going to be The Best. and if he's not The Best, then he's a failure.
when you combine that mindset with a situation where he obviously isn't going to be the best, you have a perfect recipe to write a drug fic i think.
he can't possibly be that guy with no friends, he wants to be liked and the best. but most importantly, he has a deep intrinsic desire to be the best academically too. but he never learnt to study, he has zero self-worth, and starting uni away from his closest brothers (laito n subaru in this case) in a difficult degree is challenging. couple this with the fact i gave him ADHD bc ADHD ayato has my heart, he's lost. and because being the best in his mind is more important than his own health and sense of self, he'd be willing to do anything to maintain that. and if he found a drug which does that for him, why wouldn't he use it, yknow?
i won't spoil too much about the fic there by mentioning yui's role in this (bc yui doesn't appear until ch11 unfortunately), but this is an overview of why i'm so excited to write an ayato addict fic finally.
on a similar note, next up Might be shin, actually. shin has potential, mostly from stuff in his LE. because of endzeit, shin very much has this mindset where he needs to prove he's sick in order to get validation. like he needs to be sick to prove something about himself. obviously if this weren't canon then endzeit can't be a thing, but i could talk for hours and hours and HOURS about the "needs to be ill to get validation of health" trauma (mainly due to personal experience) and it'd be really interesting to write in the context of drug addiction!
#ask#anon#the basketball diaries fic#diabolik lovers#ayato sakamaki#tw drugs#just a goofy long ass incoherent analysis
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I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao
k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.
im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)
on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity
on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last
but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.
this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways
for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.
like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...
another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.
Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)
Anyways.
mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.
he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.
but that might not ever come.
he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.
he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.
which he is
but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg
anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life
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so..
didnt want to make a huge deal of it at the time bc anxiety and what have you, buuut since yesterday marked 2 full months from this thingy (perhaps most impactful in my life so far lol), figured i'd do a little post anyway?? felt appropiate what with it being pride month and ya know :zoomies:
(tldr, have two rad little lines going across on my body and feeling more light and normal (in the best kind of way) than i have for years :catlove:) i'm in an incredibly lucky place living situation wise (s/o being in a position where he could take a loan for us, and finland being a country that doesnt generally indiscriminate these kind of things as much) where i could get a good ol operation that single-handedly yoinked off my serious dysphoria and -related anxiety and its been (and still is) so incredibly freeing and pleasant and carefree vibe when ur body feels and looks the way you felt it should have always been. especially when, (tw: dysphoria) increasingly for the past couple years its felt just so incredibly.. wrong? to an extent you felt constantly sick?, for reasons you cant even quite explain?, for features your biology imposed on you without any word on your part, and the societal norms or whatever that came with it??? and just.. the entire lack of choice or being unable to do anything about it?? absolutely worst. do not recommend. unfortunately a fairly common experience in the lgbt circles (that i keep hearing) and something a lot of people have to deal with, unfortunately. so in a very stark comparison, post-op and recovering and just /living/ without those restrictions or weights on ya, it's pretty freakin rad. having authority on the silly little meat vehicle again haha. (recovery wise feel entirely normal and well by now, just the whole 'having a both physical and very taxing mental weight off of the shoulders that i'd not realised how long its been there' has had me feeling very childlike joy and the like, yknow. maybe some of u could tell from the text brrrr nyoomies for a while now huhu :zoomies:) dunno if this is "too personal" or unnecessary or kinda silly to share, but kind of jus wanna put it out there in case there's the odd person in there who feels the same way, incredibly awful for reasons you cant quite explain or even grasp - i promise you're not inherently broken or "wrong", there is a reason for it, gender or neurodivergency wise or otherwise. it sure took me a while, and while it's an unique road for everyone, u can get there, one way or other. for example im more comfy with my brain funnies than i've been in years just from reading more and getting to know likeminded people and overall understanding things better, and that alone has helped me a lot. dont necessarily feel the need to transition anything further body wise either; dont consider myself a trans person, and dunno what kind of label or tag would even fit my gender other than just?? kind of vaguely nonbinary i guess?? since im just.. omee? default person shaped? and for the longest time, it feels good and normal and /right/. dunno. wanted to share the excellent good vibes despite this whole mess of a world situation lol. #textwall #manywords happy pride y'all! every single one of you friendshapes is very important and appreciated ❤️
for context! i'm huge fan of people who are happy with their bodies; its the best possible place to be! and such, want to confirm I dont have and never had anything against female chest in general, im genuinely glad some people can carry themselves with pride and joy, it simply wasnt a concept my brain could accept for me; personally they looked and felt really wrong on me, despite being physically healthy and "normal"; nothing were wrong with my pre- chest shapes except them residing on my body.
#lgbt#nonbinary#gender-affirming surgery#neurodiversity#wholesome#good vibes#tw dysphoria#tw surgery#pride month#personal post
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A few things, one do you personally believe Evan has like a fake account and is checking up to see what he fanbase is up to online?
I swear to god I can’t help but worry I’ve interacted with him once without even knowing it and made a complete fool of myself Ajdjjfjfjf
Two, so you think he’s ever been on/knows what Omegle is? (I may or may not pop on there every now and then in his tags to try and find him. Say hi, thank him for existing and dip haha 😅)
Three, do you think Evan genuinely is okay with fans approaching him (when appropriate of course) or think he would approach them by chance??
Like for me I’d prefer him to approach me if I’m wearing any AHS merchandise. Because I don’t wanna bother the man and have him get bombarded by fans, I’d honestly be happy just getting a few words ‘conversation’ in. Maybe an autograph and quick hug if he’s down, probably not a pic together though. As much as I’d love one with him the man deserves to be treated like a human being when he’s not working yknow? (Not saying I wouldn’t love a pic and not hating on fans that do ask for one and whatnot. I just would want to be respectful and not make him feel uncomfy. While he’ll never remember me (maybe he will who knows) I’ll remember him and I don’t want to be remembered as ‘the one fan who was weirdly too polite or some shit) I dunno I’m weird not to mention the very unrealistic and cruel scenarios my head creates. He deserves the world and anyone who meets him should feel incredibly lucky (I’m not putting him on a pedestal, but he’s so genuine and kind. I only want him to get that same energy back is all.)
He has no idea but he’s part of the reason why I’m still here (I know that sounds silly) Mentally I’ve been through a lot still going through a lot. So I’ll hop on YouTube and watch his interviews or watch AHS or clips of him as his characters. Stuff like that it’s bittersweet sometimes but it helps me feel close to him and gives me hope I’ll meet him so I can HOPEFULLY thank him in person. 🥹❤️🩹
first off, anon i'm glad you're still here <3
i think evan could possibly give into the very human curiosity of seeing what people say online - maybe not frequently but once in a while. it's hard to say. maybe he's been burnt and decided it's better to avoid at all costs. i do doubt that evan is on omegle these days but back in the day it used to be something we pretty much all did lol
i think in the right circumstance, evan is probably fine with a respectful fan interacting with him. i think most people would be so long as the interaction is appropriate. i always think the most important thing is to recognize time and place and also reading body language. celebrities are humans, too. they may have bad days, may be in a rush, may be with other people who could be made uncomfortable.. so you just have to read the situation and discern if this is a good time to come over and say hi. i think it would be great if he got back to doing conventions so fans would have an opportunity to tell evan how much we love him!
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Edit: this post is too long it’s going under read more so I don’t feel as evil tagging it okay thanks. Hi guys it’s me the asshole again can I say smth possibly controversial and tone deaf? Okay thanks .
I think a terrible amount of backlash towards SSO is done under the assumption that SSO is a small team that became a large Horse Game Corporation with a monopoly on Horse Games in the last 13 years . This is not true. SSO is still a small game worked on by a small team (there’s frequent posts on their instagram featuring basically the whole team— including like the Singular Lady that models all the horses. Like that’s One Person, Maybe More but Not A Lot More). Just bc it has more polish does not mean it’s suddenly not made by a small team in a likely rented office space who strive to pay their workers fairly. Lots of ppl on Reddit saying shit like “I wonder if the higher-ups at the sso company make it so the designers can’t do whatever they want :(“ There aren’t any higher-ups. It’s important to me that you know that. SSO hiking prices and lowering rewards and releasing smaller and smaller updates CAN be a bit shitty, I’m not saying it’s not. I’m saying there’s nuance that’s lost when a bunch of primarily older teenaged and adult women and queer ppl— (I am aware how insane that sounds but I don’t think many straight cis dudes are rockin with the horse game, and if they are they’re not the majority) —are yelling in Instagram comment sections about how shitty the SSO dev team is because they (checks notes) have to raise the prices of their horse game because they have to maintain a livable wage for themselves, pay rent and utility bills on their machines and spaces that they need to even make the game, and pay for marketing and other expenses, in a global post-Covid hyper-inflated economy. So woe is you that star coins cost more. A 10k star coin gift card used to be 108 dollars around my neck of the woods (America) and now it’s 79.99. That’s less money btw in case you can’t do math because you’re too blinded by your rage over game designers, artists, developers, and coders being paid more than peanuts to update the same fucking game for 13 years WEEKLY. Okay man. Whatever. Old man yelling at cloud over here. A lot of this has been building for months-years now but the Medieval Arena update really like, made it apparent to me for some reason. Maybe it’s cuz I like the update I think it’s cute I think it’s nice and small and quaint. But like— it’s So Obvious that the Medieval Arena and all its little additions and the future ones were made by a small team of people who just, wanted to have a fun Renaissance Fair in their game that they make. Bc yknow, again, they’re updating and making a game that they are paid to update and make because they want to update and make it. Sorry you don’t like shitty jousting mechanics and a cute lil fairground . Do you also hate the sun for shining? Oh you miss the old events? Oh you hate that sso is all corporate and lifeless now? Should we tell everyone? Should we invite Bella Hadid? Have you even once considered that maybe the people who make the game are People making a Game, and they can do whatever they want with their game? You, yes you, can also do whatever you want. You have the hands that create. You don’t get mad at an artist with a canvas and paints for doing art the wrong way, right? So why is it okay to get mad at an artist with a computer and a coding software for doing art the wrong way? Every horse, building, character, clothing, tack, tree, bush, boat, car, and all the hundreds of other things in this game are made by hand by dedicated people but yeah, you’re mad that they Chose To Do Something THEY Wanted To Do over doing the thirteenth birthday event in a row to appease a bunch of people who never seem to be happy with their art anyway. Fuck off. Sorry for yelling. I’m not sorry but sorry for yelling. Please die.
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About Me and stuff!
(please read all of this before interacting)
If you came here from @therealsimontally, That is in fact me! Yeah that's the blog I made accidentally and it's now my primary blog and I can't fix it oops
Hi! You can call me Simon, Rowynn, or Sydney (Raven works too). I'm not fantastic at doing about me things, but I will try my best!
I'm agender and use any pronouns, but I prefer it/him/they. I'm asexual (apothisexual, to be more specific) and panromantic.
Nonhuman (shapeshifting feline; werecat) (more information: https://www.tumblr.com/raventhewolf9/765704724851884032/a-list-of-all-my-nonhuman-identities)
Sydney Sargent fictionkin (doubles and sourcemates feel free to interact but please read the post linked above before interacting)
Pet regressor (DO NOT SEXUALIZE THIS /srs)
Triple-A battery (Anxious, Autistic, ADHD)
Possibly depressed (not professionally diagnosed)
My interests include Will Wood, Tally Hall (and their side projects), Camp Here and There, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Amphibia, and a bunch of other stuff that I'm not going to list because it's like!! a lot!!
I enjoy listening to music, drawing, reading, writing, watching TV, cooking, playing with my cats, doing quadrobics, making masks, making dragon puppets, and just doing crafts in general.
I mainly just reblog stuff, but I'll post my own thoughts here occasionally.
Boundaries
I am a MINOR!!! Please keep that in mind when interacting with me
Also, please use tone tags when interacting, I often have trouble understanding tone through text.
NO TALLYSHIPPING!! (or just shipping real people in general!! or just proshipping in general!! no proshipping!!)
Also!! Do NOT!! talk about sexual stuff around me!! As I mentioned before, I am apothisexual (sex-repulsed, if you didn't already know) so that stuff really gives me the ick and makes me uncomfortable so PLEASE avoid talking about it around me
I'm socially anxious and rather paranoid of people I don't know, sorry about that ^^" Feel free to interact (as long as you don't fit any of my DNI criteria, of course) but keep in mind that I may be cautious of you at first if I don't already know you.
If I see a blog I think is cool, I'll often spend a while scrolling through it and liking posts. So if you get a ton of likes from me all at once, that's probably why-- Sorry if it comes off as weird or anything, it's just a thing I do ^^"
I use an excess of caps and exclamation points when excited, please keep this in mind and sorry if it bothers you
PLEASE do NOT ask for donations in my AMA. I do not have any money to give you (I'm so sorry /gen), and it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like I'm a bad person because I can't donate. Also, I can't tell whether the asks are real people or bots. I hope your situation gets better. <3
I block freely, if I block you for no apparent reason I promise it's not personal!!
DNI
Basic DNI criteria (any sort of bigots, radqueers, p3d0s, z00s, proshippers, etc)
Joe Hawley supporters (more specifically, people who support his actions-- If you support his path to recovery and becoming a better person, feel free to interact)
Joe Hawley haters / erasers / harassers / dehumanizers (Yes, he's done terrible things, but he's still a real person and doesn't deserve to be harassed, it doesn't make anything better or help him recover / improve)
18+, N$FW, p0rn blogs (should be obvious but I'm putting it here anyway)
Bots
Trump supporters
Max Design Pro fans
People who use gen alpha/"brainrot" terms unironically
Robin / Riab / Red / Carson / ILOVEROSSFEDERMAN (If you know you know; if you don't know, feel free to ask) (I don't thiiiiiink he has tumblr? but better safe than sorry, yknow?) (It's not like he'd respect me telling him to DNI anyway, but I'm still putting him on here)
I support endogenic systems; however, if you have "endos DNI" in your bio you are still free to interact as long as you don't hate on them (as in, you are uncomfortable with them interacting but don't actively hate on them or anything like that). However, please DNI if you have "endo supporters DNI" in your bio, as I am an endo supporter myself.
Tag Guide
#Simon's Ramblings -- Spilling the contents of my strange little mind onto Tumblr for all to see. Or, in other words, talking about whatever I want
#Simon's Vents and Rants -- Growling or yowling or hissing about things that I'm upset about.
#Simon Reblogs -- Self-explanatory
#Simon Answers -- Answering asks I get in my inbox
(note that I only started using these tags recently, older posts will not have them) (also, since these are pretty new, I may forget to use them sometimes)
List of Blogs
If a blog claims to belong to me but is not on this list, assume it is not me! But feel free to ask anyway, because it's possible that it actually is me and I just forgot to put it on this list.
@raventhewolf9 -- You're here! @therealsimontally -- I don't use this blog, but it's the first one I made, and now it's my primary blog and I can't change that. Oops. @willowclan-clangen -- A ClanGen thing I'm working on with my stepbrother, currently a WIP (and progress probably won't be made on it for a while, sorry!) @is-that-a-will-wood-reference -- Inspired by rat detector, a silly little gimmick blog I made. Pretty inactive currently @when-you-die-you-will-rot -- Fictionkin blog @tallyalerts -- Group blog owned by @.velveteenbxnny, dedicated to keeping the Tally Hall community (and Tumblr in general) safe and spreading important TH-related news as well
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This post is supposed to be buried deep why tf are people finding it??????
To be fair reblogging it isnt helping but still
Also i know what hdg is supposed to represent: kink, disability, yadda yadda (not trying to be rude just saying etc in the manner of how im trying verbally sound while saying this) and yknow im disabled too not to an extreme but yknow t1d (fuckin sucks ass) then adhd autism which also fuckin sucks but the worst part is infatilization just like "oh you cant do that here lemme do it for you" when yes the fuck i can then they get pissed whn i do it myself, or saying "you know how to do it, everyone does" and then doing it completely wrong and them getting upset. And also with the kink part being "yeah this is cnc thing (with emphasis on the nc)" like yeah i fuckin know but thats not what im tryna get at
Pretty much all the foundation stories (that ive read)/ and a lot of the short stories, especially read on here written by people more knowledgeable about the source are about people who, sometimes drafted sometimes volunteered get florted regardless of if they want it or not and pretty much just, yknow give them some or more of a lobotomy (not that much as they are still usually pretty smart just enough to get a lot of specific thoughts removed) and one of the phrases i hear constantly on hdg tags is "they are inevitable" often (i assume) implying that probably everyone will be domesticated and the thing with that is, assuming that getting drafted to join the terran resistance is inevitable as well, considering that will guarentee you getting domesticated i just like couldnt? Yknow what i mean, its implyed in the extra chapters of the original that a lot of the affini are pretty similar in their goals of any terran in the war will be domesticated, and like im sorry but literally 1 i fuckin couldnt like if it was possible i wouldnt mind being friends with one but every story inevitably ends with the mc being domesticated whether they wanted it or not and pretty much removed of any and all personal choice, which dont get me wrong, with a schedule i could thrive, maybe but i would hate the loss of self expression and 2 fuck i lost my train of thought typing things Fuck. Oh wait. And if they story starts with some independent being pretty good at independance it pretty much comes down to the affini wanting that person as their floret bad enough that they force it upon them which. Like. I wouldnt mind being kidnapped, but only if i was in a place where i hated it and had no escape like usually its with xenodrugs but its also with biorythyms just like "yeahhh if you wanna be an independent but i want you to not be, too fuckin bad you will be my floret" and its just like yeah but i wanna just be able to exist without the harrassment and programming that, whether someone says "ah thats not programming" no if you give someone something to do then make them feel good, you are training that response meaning that pretty much any/everything with xenodrugs that make you happy is just programming and i realize now im just rambling bc i forgot what i was fucking gonna say and am struggling to remember
What im trying to say is if i WERE to live in hdg i would pretty much have to isolate myself so hard that i wouldnt get any interference from either side of the war because one is very much "yeah either way yoy WILL eventually get domesticated" and the other side is just "fuck you" and like i really could just be on my own and if i wasnt harrassed COULD probably just be pretty good on my own for at least a year
But yeah i know this all goes against the whole thing of hdg but like i couldnt fathom having zero control over my life. Which is what i currently have, so if i were to it would pretty much just be worse to my current actual situation where instead of just being isolated, i would be isolated (with only exceptions allowed BY the affini... which literally doesnt change my current situation), drugged to feel good about the situation and then have my personality suppressed which is literally like my creativity is literally my entire personality so having all my decisions made for me would pretty much already kill me so whats the point
Also id like to note that while writing the inital post i was suppressing suicidal thoughts so yknow wasnt thinking straight either anyway going to make this even harder to find and i havent fully researched hdg due to being too depressed to even really get out of my bes the past few days besides like on Saturdays to hopefully go out
Yknow im split again on whether or not i would want the affini to exist
Because honestly, truely, if i could literally just have basically star trek with pretty much infinite ethical food, slay but also if it was just like me and my like 8 neighbors (making 10 total people) i wouldnt mind, like just nature and chilling
Cause lets be honest, if you were sad in any way shape or form, even if its simply "i want to go take a 5 hour walk in a real forest" the affini would probably just be like "oh petal dont be sad" and inject you with (i can never remember the class names but i know what they do so) what is essential dopamine/serotonin, and youre pretty much removed of any individuality which. Suuucks. Especially for someone like myself who pretty much never had an opportunity to fully express myself.
Now dont get me wrong i LOVE identity death BUT i wouldnt wanna be erased, instead id rather just be trapped into a paradise of my own making in my mind. Like. I can look at whats happening to my body, buuutttt for the most part i just get to experience things i wanted to but never had the opportunity to, hell, {in the ben sharpiro talks about banning luigi from ssbu meme voice} lets say, hyypothetically, luigi grabs you- kidding! No lets say this scenario did happen, if the affini in charge of me pretty much told my replacement if any trauma was effecting that paradise to tell them and theyd deal with it, that would be even better bc i think i do have trauma considering every fictional character I've ever made that i would use another character that represented me to talk to, ""my"" ""friends"" (the fictional characters) always resent ""me"" (the character that represents me) in some way always using an annoyed tone
So yknow if i were to just exist as essentially a repressed thing in the back of my mind but i have my own little world i get to interact with back there while physical me is completely otherwise braindead from the affini, then i wouldnt mind, but yeah as it stands, uhh yeah i dont like 24/7 bdsm relationships, i want there to be a seperation between sexual me and normal me, especially since there already is a massive divide in that form, only really noticeable in private vs public and edged vs finished
And otherwise if i was in the hdg world and didnt have that option, you know the moment i was left alone after being captured by an affini and they didnt say that theyd do that, id be dead on the floor, probably crying as i die bc i wouldnt know a very good way to die, bc presumably humanity would have found a cure to diabetes by then, i mean considering it might happen by 2026 uhh i could also just inject myself with a lethal amount of insulin and go peacefully although probably panicked, otherwise, assuming theres no non oxygen, non carbon dioxide gas on the ship, yeah i would probably die a pretty painful yet pretty fast death, crying the whole way there bc fuck if i have to chose to basically watch myself lose myself, death, or trapped in my own mind but i dont know i am i would take option 3... unless thats unavailable, then i would take option 2
Now would they try to keep me alive? Yeah probably but then again you cant really recover a stab to the heart, neck, and lungs, or a hanging, or insulin with about 20 minutes of wait time so yknow
Idfk why im talking about this im depressed as FUCK right now but I'm also being real about if i was in that situation because... yeahhhhh but yeah uhh this is definitely a combo of saying "hey heres my solution!" And "fuck i have horrible thoughts i dont want in my head right now i dont know how to get them out without fucking doing something l Iike fucking finding sone way to cut myself, drink alcohol, or literally have enough fucking energy to get up, which i dont have that energy right now sooo yeah uhh fucking no ones going to read this haha its WAYYYYY too late so like 95% of people who follow me arent online and like , lets be real who the fuck is going to like a post about "oh if i was given the chance to remove all ambitions i had in life to just live in pleasure or do that but its all fake OR kill myself, i would kill myself" like. Thats fucked up. And also now that i think about it its like that comic about the time traveler who goes to the future and is given a choice to continue on her journey or experience eternal pleasure as you hallucinate the things you love and are constantly injected with dopamine and she never leaves and it shows basically everyone doing the same thing sooo uhhh yeah good luck finding THIS post sherlock, i doubt even BATMAN could find this post
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having aromantic feelings in this denny’s tonight bc i had to go on a blocking spree yet again.
I just think like... people don’t know shit about what it’s like to be aromantic. aphobes complain about the Fandomization Of Pride and say shit like “asexuality is basically a fandom thing; if your community is entirely online and based around tumblr tags and headcanons, you cant possibly compare it to actual real life gay experiences”
and like. i have some bad fucking news for you about gay people who live in super homophobic backwater small towns. I’ve known plenty of gay people who were completely closeted irl and whos entire interaction with queerness was online communities, especially gay shipping. that doesn’t mean there aren’t other gay people in those homophobic little towns, its just often too dangerous to look for them. there are definitely other aro people in my backwater little town! I just can’t find them. I’m not saying this is the best way to interact with the queer community! or even a good way! for instance, nobody gives a shit about gay vs aro or bi vs pan irl! this drama is all internet shit! but being terminally online is certainly not a problem unique to aspec people.
honestly, as someone who’s trans, bisexual and aromantic, the thing that’s actually made my life the most difficult for cishets to swallow is the aromantic part. my backwater town is fairly liberal, so they can be chill about the gay thing, they can even tolerate the trans thing, but not getting married???? what do you mean you can’t be like the sweater-wearing chaste gay dads in the commercials? what do you mean you don’t want to date but you still want to have sex???????
nothing about my identity is palatable. nothing about me is relatable or marketable. my life, my future, my happiness, looks completely alien to your average cishet. the first time I told someone irl that I was aromantic, the immediate reaction was “oh my god I’m so sorry” as if I just said I had cancer.
like. actually. yknow what. yeah I think the aromantic experience is very easy to compare to my experience as a disabled person. its because I’m fundamentally missing something that Typical People consider completely intrinsically tied to their worth and their happiness. what’s the point of life if you can’t get married? whats the point of life if you can’t have a job? “i’m so sorry to hear you’ll never experience the be all end all of human existence; retiring to live comfortably with your aging partner as your grown children take up the mantle of your legacy.”
people don’t know what its like to be aromantic. they think of it as a tumblr tag, or headcanons, because the only time they bother to interact with aromanticism is when they’re complaining about our headcanons. no one can deny that aspec identity in this decade is intrinsically connected to the internet, in the same way that no one can say that gay identity in 1970s and 80s america wasn’t intrinsically connected to gay bars. its because That’s How You Meet People. queer people have always taken whatever was the current way for humans to connect to each other and carved out their own space.
aromanticism is in the stage where its hard to find other people, and no one knows what you are, and if you explain it to them they think you’re sick. we’re in the stage where we don’t get a lot of explicit canon representation, we have to scrape by on aro readings and subtext and coding.
and it IS coding! its coding! I don’t care if aromanticism wasn’t named yet back then! there are plenty of instances of queer coding from before we had words like “trans” or “gay” or “lesbian” or even “queer.” what matters is that someone somewhere was like “this character has the experience of not feeling the socially mandated attraction to the opposite binary gender,” which is a queer experience whether the person feeling it is gay or aromantic. just like bisexuality and lesbianism weren’t separated for a long time because straight society didn’t care if the wlw could also technically like men, lesbianism and aromanticism and asexuality weren’t separated because straight society didn’t care if the woman who wouldn’t get married to a man wanted to kiss girls or not.
this is way longer than I intended it to be and it got kinda rambly and train-of-thought, and I don’t think I really have any particular conclusion here. just aro feelings. idk if this makes sense but I’m tired of trying to edit it to make more sense so I’m just hitting post
#actually aromantic#actually aro#aromanticism#alloaro#actually autistic#aspec#aphobia mention#queer#queerness#long post
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