#yesterday & today as well i was in one of those reflection moods

[strawberryseeded]

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[nyxthejinx]

Hello! How’s your day/night going?

May I request a drabble of Diluc with an g/n s/o that haves fox’s ears? Like Miko but it’s pointing upwards not down. And their ear’s go with their emotions ;

Happy = go straight up

Sad = slowly go downwards

shy/embarrassed = go downwards really fast

If not that’s completely fine! Have the good rest of your day/night!

Archons-know-how-many-months-later, my night's going pretty well, sleep deprivation aside. I'm sorry it took so long, but it was an interesting prompt to go with. I'm not fully satisfied with how it came out, but I hope you'll like it anyways <3

𝐓𝐖: Nothing but fluff, one kiss. It's a misunderstanding but comical.

𝐅𝐭.: Diluc - GN!Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.1k

𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨: Hanging With the Boys - OMORI

Diluc has always been secretly fascinated by your ears.

He never really brought up the topic or pointed out anything, fearing it would make him sound rude and you feel uncomfortable. And yet still to this day he founds endearing the way you show emotions through them.

On most days they'd be staying up proudly, paired with one of your unresistable smiles, while on some occations he'd seen them bend like a withered flowers, pulled downwards just like your lips in a sign of sadness.

But his favourite has to be without a doubt the sight of them flattening in a heartbeat, as you poorly hide that clumsy shyness he's grown so fond of.

What Diluc doesn't like, though, are those days when they're leaned backwards, forming a sharp 90 degrees angle with the back of your head. Days when you're upset, annoyed at something and/or someone.

Days when he automatically returns on his footsteps and tries to figure out whether it was his fault or not.

Today is one of those days.

It had started in the morning, with you marching down the corridor and completely ignoring the open door of his office. Being with his nose buried in paperwork, Diluc didn't exactly notice the lack of usual "have a good day" kiss. It was Adelinde who pointed out your strange behaviour and rang the bells in the back of his mind.

But why? He'd come home earlier yesterday, cuddled on the bed while you read your book, had a nice dinner together and slept with you in his arms. You'd kept your ears pointed all the way up the entire time!

Was someone bothering you? Did he subconsciously annoy you? Were you feeling unwell? Should he call a doctor?

"Please, calm down, master Diluc," Adelinde sighs, as she dusts the libraries in his office. "If they were in any pain they'd voice their discomfort. Master [Name] knows how concerned you get over their wellbeing."

Diluc, on the other hand, is having none of it. "I wouldn't know, Adelinde." He sinks in his chair, a frown etched on his forehead. "We're both well aware of their stubborness."

"You ought talk to them, then." She says. "Communication is the key."

Communication is the key.

Well, it is either the key for peace or chaos, Diluc thinks, an idea that's surely bound to fail popping up in his mind.

Candles? Lit. Table? Set. Dinner made by the man himself? Ready to help you ease the mood, it's your favourite after all.

It took him the rest of the evening to lay everything out for when you'd be back. It's a bit old fashioned, nothing too special, just like he is, but he knows you like it exactly this way.

Adelinde actually shook her head at the length he was going for this whole ordeal. But anyways-

Diluc stands by the window, waiting for any sign of your arrival. He focuses on his dull reflection, checks the outfit he'd chosen -casual, but still flattering in a way- and perks up upon seeing your figure approaching the manor.

He squints and- yes, your ears are still bent backwards, but not completely: more like a perturbed neutrality.

Well, make or break.

The door clicks open and he hears you shuffling around.

"Welcome back, Love." He makes his way to the entrance, hoping to look natural in his movements. When in reality he's a nervous wreck. "Let me help you with that."

Diluc gives you a small smile, makes quick work of your jacket, hanging it to the rack and subtly pushing you towards the decorated table. He doesn't give you time to ask any question, nor elaborate your confusion and stupor, as he accompanies you by the small of your back.

"How was your day?" He questions. Meanwhile he's already moved the chair, waiting for you to sit.

"Uh, fine, I guess?" You don't hide your hesitancy, as you lower yourself on the cushioned seat with a quirked brow. "What about you- this," You gesture around yourself, then towards Diluc. "What's the occasion?"

Diluc pushes you into position. He clears his throat, hands stilling on the seat back. "You seemed... Off, earlier this morning, Love. I was hoping a nice dinner would ease your mind."

"I prepared your favourite." And with that he slinks away. Or at least tries to.

You're quick to latch your fingers onto the sleeve of his shirt. "'Luc, I appreciate the thought, but I'm pretty sure there's something more going on."

You yank him gently, force him to face you fully and look at you in the eyes, when you notice that his gaze is aimed a little above yours.

"...Well?"

He stares up, back down, up again. And then he sighs. He sounds absolutely mortified. "It was my intention to have a chat about your sour mood. You appeared distressed when you left the Winery, your..." His cheeks start to gain colour. "Your ears. I've only ever seen them that way after an argument, or whenever you're upset. I was worried I enraged you unknowingly."

His free hand flies to cover the lower half of his face, as if he knows he's blushing like mad, while his eyes wander to the floor. Diluc looks like a kicked puppy, poor thing.

And suddenly you chuckle, your ears perking all the way up like usual. As if nothing at all had happened.

"'Luc, Love, I'm sorry." You smile. "I wasn't mad at you!"

"U-Uh?"

"Remember the book I was reading before bed?" You place both your hands on his biceps and get on your feet. "Well, I read the few pages I had left right this morning. And I didn't like the ending at all."

Oh. Oh.

So it was about the book.

Diluc stares at you dumbfounded. He's overheating, and he doesn't know if it's from shame, stress discharging or the incredible proximity of your bodies.

He feels your hands slide all the way up, locking behind his neck as your face inches closer and closer. A soft, yet amused smile pulling at your lips. "You're too sweet for this world."

And you peck him, quick but loving nevertheless. Take a step back and pat his chest. "You said you cooked my favourite, right? Can't wait to dig in."

And you sit once again, starting to ramble about your real day with a cozy enthusiasm he loves so much.

It takes him another ten seconds. But then he smiles, gazes at you with eyes brimming with adoration.

How he loves seeing you with your ears up.

DON'T copy/repost my work. REBLOG instead! ©nyxthejinx

[syndullqs]

sleep deprivation — ezra bridger

summary — it’s been a while since you’ve gotten good sleep. the ghost crew is starting to see those effects.

warnings — gn!reader, absolute fluff

requested by — anon <3

SLEEP WAS EVADING YOU. this wasn’t the first night that you laid there, tossing and turning. your eyes met the ceiling, begging yourself to sleep. was it how quiet it was? maybe. you weren’t used to the quiet, not with how used to you were to loud noises and explosions. that was war.

you saw the beginnings of light peak under your door, and you ran your hands down your face. you and the ghost crew found a home on lothal, especially since the war since ended.

it didn’t mean that the nightmares didn’t stop. it didn’t mean that life all of a sudden got easier.

you rolled off of your cot, your back aching as you settled your feet onto the hard flooring of your room. it wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. you slipped into something more presentable, stretching your aching limbs as you did so. you needed caf, desperately.

you walked out of your room, the light of the hallway blinding you as you made your way down the hallway of the building you called home. the other members of the ghost crew resided there, as well as some other ex-rebellion fighters.

“good morning!” a too-happy chirp came from ezra, who peaked out of his room. he noticed the bags under your eyes, the lack of energy you had. you’d looked like that for the past few days. yesterday you were hyped up, and today you were obviously not.

“not in the mood, ezra,” you grumbled as you walked into the kitchen, grabbed the pot of freshly made caf and a mug.

“sorry,” he shrugged as he followed you into the kitchen, watching as you drank the caf straight, without anything in it, “since when do you drink straight caf?”

“since i can’t seem to get some sleep,” you gave a tight-lipped smile as you took a sip. ezra looked at you, surprised. he didn’t know how he didn’t see it earlier.

“why aren’t you sleeping?”

“i think it’s too quiet,” you admitted, leaning against the counter. it was just the two of you in there, the coolness of the room biting at your skin.

“being in a war your whole life makes you forget how nice the quiet is,” he agreed. he knew what it was like, sleeping after the war. he didn’t get much of it until he got used to it. his heart hurt upon the realization that you were having a hard time adjusting.

“yeah…did you about the excavations the rebellion is doing?”

“no,”

“yeah it’s pretty cool. there’s a lot of history behind it. apparently they’ve found this really cool artifact, which by the way dates back all the way to the clone wars,”

“oh really?” he watched you, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter. he liked watching you geek out, tell him facts about some obscure part of history or something related. he always learned something from you.

“it’s cool. i want to ask ahsoka about it and see if she remembers — hey hera, did you get my report last night?” you interrupted yourself upon the arrival of hera, who looked at tired as everyone else was.

“i did, thanks,” she hummed as she poured herself a cup of caf.

“good, let me know if i need to fix anything. anyways, i was going to ask ahsoka if she remembered it, which reminds me that i have to send a message to someone about something,” you felt the connections in your brain loosening, which altered your ability to focus on one thing at a time. multitasking wasn’t exactly your strong suit.

“who do you need to send a message to?” ezra asked. surprisingly, he never got whiplash whenever you’d switch up the topics of conversation like that. he was used to it, and honestly he liked it. he thought it was adorable, yet he knew that’s not how you felt. he knew you felt like your mind was melting.

“i don’t remember…” you trailed off, losing yourself in your reflection in your cup of caf. your brain hurt, you were exhausted, and you needed some sleep. ezra softly removed the cup from your hands, settling it on the counter.

“you need sleep,” you softly told you.

“i know but i can’t,”

“i can help you,”

“how?” your hands slapped against your thighs in frustration.

“we jedi have this thing called the force and it can help put you to sleep,” he replied, causing you to smack his arm for how smart he was being.

“can you actually do that?” you asked him, a hopeful glint in your eyes. he chuckled, taking your hand in his and leading you to your bedroom.

“yeah, it’s pretty cool actually,” he hummed as you reached your room. you laid down, ezra sitting next to you. you curled up with your blankets, ezra’s warm hand covering your forehead. you felt the soft pull of sleep, pulling you deeper into its embrace.

“sleep well, y/n,” ezra hummed as your eyes closed, falling asleep.

hehe i hope you enjoy anon! sorry it took me so long and i’m sorry if it doesn’t exactly fit your request, but we still got some cute ezra fluff.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I very much loved what you wrote for my ask makes me happy in my tummy.

Here's another ask hope it's not a lot for you how about a reader who's looks like those circus carousel horses, Being all pretty and sparkly with the TADC crew or just caine if you want light work!

♡Sleep well♡

U(•ㅅ•)U

TADC cast x reader who is a carousel horse!

that post sillyness (meltdown) slump is really hitting, but i feel bad for not answering requests yesterday... think i might answer one or two today, and perhaps write some stuff for myself in between doing the stuff i need to get done today apolocheese if this is a little shorter than usual </3 admin is still a lil WAAAAAAA and theyre on a time crunch (writing on computer today, but it needs to restart soon for an update)

CAINE:

oh i just know hes going to be going crazy over this, its not often that you get circus themed members around in the digital circus, so hes so hyped to have someone who can at least somewhat fit into that (admin must admit, they know next to nothing about carousels). probably makes themed IHA based around you and your whole thing; whatever that might mean... if youre shiny and/or reflective i just know hes going to pretend to check himself out in your reflections, does it usually to get a laugh out of you if youre having a bad day. gives you loads of new accessories and such

POMNI:

very shiny very pretty. i think pomni would like shiny things, but that might be self projection. kind of looks at you with that huge eyed look she got when she saw her door and/or her reflection in the pilot. looks but doesnt touch because she doesnt want to breach any boundaries. you can easily carry her, probably. shes tiny... though you will have to ask her and warn her before you just decide to pick her up since i dont think she would be cool with you just treating her like some house cat (snorts). subconsciously messes with your hair/mane when you two are hugging/snuggling each other

RAGATHA:

makes her own accessories to give to you. she thinks youre really pretty! very well crafted stuff, me thinks. offers to do your hair and tail (if you have one) every now and then! perhaps even offers to polish you up in hard to reach spots such as your back! generally very nice and lets you know that she thinks youre pretty... bonus if you have some sort of music ambience that plays around you most of the time that tends to reflect your mood, she ends up using that as a little indicator of how youre feeling.... perhaps you two slow dance together to one of your songs.... ponders

JAX:

originally i was going to say he jokes about wanting to ride you but then i realized how that sounded and i am not about that life (i say as i still put it in the post because it aint that serious) but you know, because youre a horse? but also while i was writing caines part, i mention that he checks his reflection if youre... well reflective... i feel like jax would do the same thing, but be more obnoxious about it... like im talking hes fully leaning into it, cleaning the gaps in between his teeth, slicking his ears back. the works, you know? probably snags your ribbons and such every now and then so youre forced to talk to him, he thinks its funny even if its kind of a dick move, but its.. jax, are we really surprised?

KINGER:

similar to pomni i can kind of see kinger also liking shiny stuff but i think this time its just the admin self projecting. probably collects little trinkets he finds that remind him of you and gifts them to you. pretty combs, ribbons, rocks, ect. i think its sweet, basically saying "hey, i thought about you!" you know? sometimes you let him stroke your hair when hes stressed out, works like a charm. revisiting the musical ambience idea, you tend to play the general music that plays during carousel rides, but every now and then it turns into a softer and calmer tune, and that does wonders for kinger after a long and hard day... shrugs

ZOOBLE:

as mean as it sounds you are kind of the opposite of the things like find interest in, since admin hcs that zooble is into the macabre and spooky, you know? but thats not to say that they dont like you! quite the contrary, actually! they have an understanding that you didnt choose this body.. thinks... ooo imagine how funny it would be if youre this really pretty horse with pretty music but you share the same interests as them... i dont now i always liked that trope. cute/innocent character being into scary stuff, intimidating/unconventionally cute character being into sweet and cute stuff.. thinks... sometimes helps you style yourself if youre interested in a new look

GANGLE:

also thinks youre very pretty! probably has made drawings of you and gifted them to you! sometimes redoes the ribbons you wear in your hair and as accessories. very good at making bows and such! might even sometimes help you with your makeup, if you wear any + if its able to be taken off... since, you know... digital bodies and stuff... hmm.. not many thoughts for gangle, at least not any unique ones that havent been said already in general/in this post... apologies gangle nation admin just struggles to write her

[traumei]

Irene x Male Reader

genre: Fluff

Irene was already mid-ramble when she glanced across the room, noticing the gentle, attentive expression on the man's face as he sat on the edge of their bed. The soft evening light filtered through the curtains, casting a serene glow over the bedroom that had become their shared sanctuary. Her words tumbled out in a steady stream, detailing the grueling dance practices and the relentless pace of her schedule.

“It was just one thing after another, you know? And then the stylist had to redo my hair three times because it just wouldn’t sit right," Irene explained, her voice a mix of frustration and exhaustion as she kicked off her shoes and sank beside him on the bed.

She paused, suddenly conscious of how much she'd been talking, her eyes flickering with a trace of worry. “. . . sorry, I talked too much,” she muttered, looking away slightly.

He turned towards her, his hand finding hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “No, no, no, not at all. Keep talking. I like hearing about your day, no matter how tough it gets,” he encouraged warmly, drawing a relieved laugh from her.

Encouraged, she scooted closer, resting her head against his shoulder. “And then, during the live performance, my mic almost slipped off. I had to catch it mid-song without anyone noticing. It was like a stealth mission in one of those spy movies you love,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckled, imagining the scene. “You’re my superhero, you know that? Always saving the day, even on stage.” His words were light, but the admiration in his eyes was earnest, making her smile soften.

Comfortable in the familiarity of their room and the quiet understanding between them, Irene felt the weight of the day lift slightly. She continued to share, her voice steadier now, recounting both the trials and the trivial moments that peppered her day. As she spoke, it wasn’t just about unloading her burdens anymore; it was about sharing her world with him, knowing he cherished these insights into her life as much as she valued his presence.

“Sometimes, I just wonder if I’m doing everything right. It’s all so overwhelming at times,” she confessed quietly, her voice nearly a whisper as she leaned into him more.

“And every time, you’ll find you’re doing better than ‘right’, you’re doing amazingly. But remember, you don’t have to carry it all alone,” he murmured back, his voice a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. He then stand up and close the curtain.

The night get dimmer, the room was soft with shadows as he returned from the window, a blanket in hand which he gently wrapped around them both. Irene nestled closer to him, her eyes reflecting a mix of weariness and relief.

“Sometimes, it feels like I’m just going through the motions, you know? Like I’m on stage but not really present,” Irene confessed, her voice a whisper as she found comfort in his closeness.

He nodded, understanding her struggle. “I can only imagine how tough that must be. But here, you don’t have to perform or pretend. Just be Joohyun, the one I love, not the idol everyone else sees.”

She smiled at his words, feeling the tension ease from her shoulders. “I love that I can just be me with you. No cameras, no expectations. Just us.”

“Exactly, just us,” he echoed, his thumb gently tracing circles on her hand. “Tell me more about what’s on your mind. Whatever you need to share, I’m here.”

Irene took a deep breath, comforted by his invitation to open up further. “During Yesterday practice, I kept messing up the steps. Everyone thinks I handle pressure well, but today, I felt like I was crumbling under it. It’s so frustrating.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “You’re human, Joohyun-nah. It’s okay to have off days. They don’t define you or your incredible talent.”

Hearing his reassuring words, Irene felt a surge of gratitude. “Thank you for reminding me of that. It’s easy to forget when you feel like you’re under a microscope.”

“That’s what I’m here for—to remind you that you’re amazing, just the way you are,” he said with a warm smile.

They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind filled with mutual understanding and affection. Irene then broke the silence, her voice soft but filled with sincerity. “Do you know how much these nights mean to me? How they help me recharge and face another day?”

“I hope they mean as much to you as they do to me,” he replied, his voice just as soft.

“They do. More than you can imagine,” Irene assured him, leaning in to kiss his cheek gently. “Being here with you, it’s my favorite part of the day.”

As they settled deeper into the night, their conversation flowed naturally, each moment building the foundation of their bond. It wasn’t just about sharing the highlights and low points of her day, but about sharing life itself—raw, unedited, and real. With each word, each shared laughter and consoling whisper, Irene felt her spirits lift, fortified by the love and understanding that filled their small, sacred space.

[greatideas-badwriter]

Sacrificed To The Banished Prince Ch. 24

‘Why did I kiss her? She’s probably confused,’ Sasuke splashed cold water onto his face before glaring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. 

His body had moved on his own out there. It was because Sakura was being her usual supportive self as though her life wasn’t quite literally in the balance. He knew his actions were baffling her. One minute he’d be enjoying their time together, and then he’d be struck with the realization that their days are numbered, and his mood falls through the floor. Then, repeat. 

‘I can’t help myself. Not now that there’s no reason to hide,’ he looked at the closed door and imagined Sakura out there. He frowned, ‘It’s not fair to force these feelings onto her. She’s already sacrificing so much for me.’ 

Though The Curse had behaved surprisingly well these past days, Sasuke still sent an intimidating sneer at his reflection, knowing he’d be able to see it. He whispered so only he could hear, “She’s not to be taken advantage of. There are still ways to punish you if you hurt her.” 

For the rest of the day, Sakura noticeably attempted to stay out of his way. It was clear she thought she’d done something to offend him, but Sasuke couldn’t find the right words to reassure her that wasn’t the case. In fact, the quiet young woman had been more than perfect. She cooked, cleaned, and read the books she’d brought along for the trip. 

The next morning, Sasuke groaned. He turned onto his side and curled further into a ball. ‘I have such a headache…. What is this?’ Time passed in a dizzy blur, but then he snapped out of it when something cold touched his forehead. His eyes shot open to see Sakura’s concerned face. 

She held his hair out of his face while dabbing it with a wet towel, “You have a fever.” 

Just like yesterday, Sasuke’s body moved on its own. Words he wanted to say that he normally would bite back left his lips without hindrance, “I don’t get sick.” His hand softly landed at her waist, bunching a loose handful of her dress there. Something was wrong with him today, that was for sure. He didn’t have the ability to hold back his true thoughts and feelings like usual. 

Sakura didn’t seem to mind his hand and ignored it. Her frown deepened as she leaned further over to focus on her task, “The body doesn’t lie, Sasuke. Please stay in bed today.” 

The woman helped him drink some water and eat some thin soup, and then she turned to leave the room, but he stopped her, “Stay.” 

She faced him with a look of evident surprise, cautiously reapproaching his bedside, “You need to rest. I’ll just keep you awake.” 

“Read to me, like you said you would,” he mumbled childishly. The pale skin of her cheeks turned a pretty red hue. She visually trembled with nervousness as she retrieved the book she was currently reading before sitting on the edge of the bed and opening it. 

‘No…. She’s too far away. I want to….’ 

He made an unhappy sound, “Sit beside me. It’ll help my fever.” 

“Sasuke….” The new princess whined under her breath as her blush tripled in brightness, but she didn’t argue further. No, she climbed into bed beside him, sitting up with a pillow behind her back. 

“What is the genre of this one?” 

“...It’s also a romance novel,” Sakura says while opening the book to the page where she left off. 

Sasuke pauses before making an observation, “You read a lot of those. I suppose our engagement hasn’t been romantic. My apologies.” 

“N-No, that’s not it!” The woman appeared to forget her bashfulness as she came to his defense, laying a hand on his head with a firm expression, “I just…I like it, is all. It has nothing to do with your actions.” 

The prince unconsciously leaned into her touch, closing his eyes and turning onto his side. Either Sakura picked up on his fevered wish for affection or forgot they were so tense around one another all day yesterday. She gently ran her fingers through his hair before returning her gaze to the book, not pulling her hand away. Her voice wasn’t all that confident as she shyly began to read aloud, “Fudo didn’t know what to do. His king had ordered him to assassinate the father of the woman he loves, but if he does that, he’ll surely lose her affections….” 

Sasuke lulled in and out of sleep, listening to his wife’s soft voice and relishing in the mild caresses she was still giving his head. Then, suddenly, he was reminded of a long-forgotten memory. It was from his childhood. He was bedridden with fever, and in Sakura’s place was Queen Mikoto Uchiha, his mother. 

He vaguely recalled the beautiful sound of her voice as she’d sing and hum to him until he fell asleep. She’d stay by his side until the fever broke, even going as far as sleeping in his childish room rather than in the extravagant room she shared with the king. The prince tried to remember how she smelled, but couldn’t and became frustrated. Suddenly, a flash of the wizard Orochimaru’s yellow eyes and wicked grin interrupted the fond memories and Sasuke woke up with a start. 

“It’s alright. It was just a fever dream,” Sakura’s voice came. His breath caught in his throat as he realized he’d hugged an arm across her lap in his sleep. Rather than push him away, Sakura had managed to scoot slightly lower to ensure his comfort without waking him. He squeezed his eyes closed, his fingers tightening around a handful of the cloth of her skirt near her hip. 

For some reason, the man felt like crying. Sure, the dream had shaken him, but to wake up being comforted by his warm and welcoming wife, the one he’d fallen for and will have to kill sometime soon, was worse. 

There was a long pause before the hand atop his head slid down into his hair, near the nape of his neck, “It’ll be alright, Sasuke. Your nightmare will be over soon, and you’ll be able to live the rest of your life happily.” 

Obviously, her words were meant to comfort him, but they did the opposite. Still somewhat feverish, the prince didn’t manage to bite back his natural response, “That is untrue.” 

The woman tensed, “Are you doubting The Curse will be able to be removed?” 

Sasuke’s eyes opened again. If he weren’t sick, he’d find a way to escape this conversation, but he was mentally and physically weakened by weeks of stress and effort. In the next blink, Sakura was lying beneath him on the mattress, hair wild amongst the pillows as she stared up at him with wide eyes. He frowned at her, hesitantly cupping her cheek, “I’m a selfish man.” 

The woman’s mouth clamped closed. It was clear she wasn’t sure what was going on. 

“I don’t want to choose between you and ridding of The Curse.” His thumb brushed against the corner of her lips, his voice becoming quieter, “I want both.” 

Tears welled in her gorgeous emerald eyes as Sakura appeared to begin comprehending what’d been plaguing the prince’s mind these past hours. She laid a hand atop his, the one cupping her cheek. Her brow furrowed, “I’m sorry, but that’s simply not possible.” 

A tear overflowed, and Sasuke frowned while watching it elegantly roll down her pale skin. When he moved his hand to wipe it, his bride sniffled and blinked as though attempting to stop crying. Suddenly, she was visually nervous. Her hands shook as she ran them up to rest against his chest. 

‘Oh,’ he looked down to see how close their bodies were to touching, how close he was to pressing directly against her. His eyes darted back up to his wife’s and he swallowed hard, ‘I didn’t realize what position we’re in. She must be uncomfortable.’ 

When he moved to get off of her, the woman’s hands shot up to his shoulders to stop him in his tracks. Electric shock froze his body as he searched Sakura’s shy expression. She searched his face in a way that took him off guard. 

Moments passed when he realized what she was trying to work up the courage to say. He brought a hand to one of hers on his chest while shaking his head. Self-disgust burnt the pit of his stomach, “I can’t ask that of you, Sakura.” Her fingers held loose handfuls of his shirt. Obviously, she wasn’t convinced. He didn’t know what else to do. He kissed her, long and firm. When he pulled back, her cheeks were an attractive pink. “You’re already sacrificing your life. I can’t put you through something like that, too.” 

Sasuke went to move away again, but stopped once more when the woman suddenly said, “What you’d do…. It wouldn’t be the same as what happened with Hihara, right?” She seemed genuinely scared yet still curious. 

Anger flooded the prince’s blood and his hesitance temporarily dissipated, “Absolutely not!” He knew she wasn’t asking if he was capable of such destruction, but it still felt like it and he had to make her understand he’d never harm her like that. He held her waist, then, running his hand up her body to cup her cheek again, where he stared deep into her eyes as though trying to communicate both with words and touch, “What I’d do and what he did are incomparable, Sakura.” 

Tears welled in her eyes once again. Her voice cracked, “Show me.” Sasuke snapped out of his angry trance and opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off, “I don’t want to die with that being my only experience.” 

She paused again, and they searched one anothers’ faces before she breathed, “I’m scared, but I trust you.” 

Sasuke’s lips moved independently, “I love you.” 

The woman’s eyes widened, her blush returning tenfold, “I-I love you, too.” His pulse quickened when she cautiously pulled him down into a kiss. Just by the way she was moving, he could tell she desperately wanted him to take the lead. He couldn’t blame her, given their history and all she’d gone through. It didn’t bother him to be the dominant one because then he could be sure things proceeded gently. The nervous woman would likely fumble with anxiety, which might lead to accidentally painful moments. 

With his resolve strengthened to make this a positive experience for the both of them, Sasuke slid a hand to the blouse of her dress, unbuttoning one button, then two, and then an all-too-familiar pain shot up his spine. 

Sakura squeaked in surprise when he suddenly pulled away, cursing under his breath. He sat back on his knees, turning his neck to look at the window and confirm the sun was nearly set. Sighing, he looked down at the heavily-breathing woman, a familiar feeling buzzing in his lower regions at the borderline sensual expression on her pretty face. 

She realized what was happening and bashfully brought a hand to her chest to block the sliver of pale skin that’d shown with the undone buttons, “Perhaps tomorrow?” 

He sighed, dipping down to kiss her once more, “Tomorrow.” 

That damn curse ruined it.

[mihai-florescu]

hello i was scrolling to see if you knew about the sk8 ova visual but i saw someone was talking to you about kagepro aaaaa i think i talked to you about it before? honestly i never got past the anime and mvs but the music has been among my top most listened to for years and the anime is pretty interesting, i recommend watching it on a very hot summer day to truly get the true mekaku city experienceTM (i should rewatch before summer ends, too)

anyways how has your week been? :)

Nodnod i remember you mentioning it! I was advised to keep the anime for last and watch the mvs first, but i havent made much progress there since yesterday (busyyy i havent even had time to read enstars...tragic for me, slash genuine)

I dont even remember the start of the week... i procrastinated a lot. Read a book in 2 days (y/n by ester yi, overall id say i liked it but the writing wasnt my cup of tea. It was giving faux pretentious but it's first person pov from an on purpose insufferable protagonist so it worked in the context), then worried about my graduation project (havent made much progress and i also need to write some reflections positioning myself in the industry...cant a girl just be vibing...), then friday was crazy busy with doctor appointments and other things (had some really good sushi tho, the highlight of that day), i have no memory of yesterday, and today we went to some family friends, which was very nice! We are the same age but they have very clear directions in life and are good at hustling so my mood couldve easily plummeted but then they talked about anime and food so👍👍👍lovely, things i could talk about for days. I'll send you photos of one of their cats that hanged out with us, he's sooo fat and orange! Thats about it...i am dreading having to do school stuff tomorrow. Im kind of just looking forward to social things i have planned this year more than school and graduation, and i hope those plans go well but i dont want to jinx anything. I always pull through and manage with school anyway. Except for the times i havent. But other than that things work out for me💥💥💥

How have you been? How is the job??

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream. 😵‍💫 anon here. I want to respond to your last response. I don’t believe that being anxious stops us from being in a state of what we want either. Sometimes people throw so many random conditions around. Even if we have anxiety and cry, that doesn’t mean we aren’t on the path or in the state. The state won’t feel like forcing ourselves not to be a certain way. If we’re anxious, we’re anxious. I have it in my mind that everything will be okay despite the negative emotions or reactions. I appreciate you being so open here. I hate that you were feeling that way and I hope you are feeling more at ease now. Sending a virtual hug. 🫂 Also the movie you talked about, What Dreams May Come, is now on my watch list. I’m going to watch it tonight, actually. Thank you for the recommendation.

I had such a real conversation with myself yesterday. I asked “what is being myself?” I have never known. I’ve always wanted to be like or be someone else. I’ve always tried so hard to be liked that I never once just went with the flow of being me. I only lived for the validation & views of others, even with my looks. My looks were the only reason people even gave me attention. So I let that fuel my high school life. Everything I did or looked like was for other peoples’ validation. Soon, peoples’ compliments didn’t feed my ego anymore. I was left with how I truly felt about myself. Bad. I let that feeling settle and I’ve never been the same. My whole being changed when I had to depend on myself for my own happiness. I felt ugly and so did the world. Eventually, even my friend called me ugly. No one genuinely liked me as an entire person, just my face. I’ve been in a downward spiral ever-since. I haven’t known how to pick myself up. Of course I have matured since then, I just turned 20, but I still see how living by people’s validation has gotten me to this negative point. I’ve been afraid to be me (even with the things I like to do) because of my dependency on others’ views.

I remember you speaking about not avoiding yourself. I know it seems like I had such a negative revelation but I’m joyful about it. My problem with everything and even manifesting is that I keep seeking that validation from others. I noticed that even my desires were linked to, “if I get this, then people will think this” But why haven’t I prioritized how I felt? Don’t I want to change my life for me? I’m still learning. I’m still growing, but I hope to live for me now.

I wish everyone could see your blog. So they’d know that their journey is okay. There is a future waiting with possibilities. And there is a now that we are meant to enjoy and make the best of. 😊 I would have never thought like this before, but you have opened my mind, Dream! 💕 Now, I’m going to watch What Dreams May Come and begin the journey of being me. I’m excited to see who I will become everyday of my life.

P.S. I hope your day went well today. I’m sending you peace & love.

hiiii 😵‍💫anon <3

"the state won't feel like forcing ourselves to be a certain way" right... and it just doesn't make sense really. when we feel down, our entire world doesnt disappear. we still have those things that feel natural to have hahah, despite the mood we are in. and i'm feeling much better 🥰 thank you. these days, honestly, i really just invite it all in. no matter what...i really just... choose freedom over holding onto anything painful. thank you for the virtual hug.

i'm so glad you brought that up and are figuring that out for yourself. i think that these days, thats the question everyone asks: "who do i wanna be" and not so much, "who am i, really ?" and i have found that.. i've gotten a lot further asking the second question than the first. because if everything is already perfect and aligned within myself... i don't need to be anything else or try to be some ideal. i just need to allow my true self to shine through. i'm glad you were able to reflect that much, because through that you'll know how to move forward. you know what stories you used to believe about yourself and now you don't have to keep believing in them. not that it'll be easy, but you have found a guide within yourself of what to let go of in order to move forward. and that's always wonderful.

i think that even a negative revelation is a freeing one. because now you won't be as much of a prisoner to it, you can't possibly change something you aren't even aware of it. even though it's painful, it's also... exciting. :) i really get it. living for yourself is really the way. i reread an article from a few years ago yesterday, and it was just a reminder of that. in all of this... there's really no one to worry about but you. you know, we don't get a prize/more love for our suffering. so why keep engaging in it ? i'm glad that you're doing all of this for yourself now. keep moving forward and always remember that the healing isn't linear... it'll be okay to feel like things are more hard sometimes. just never forget that you can return to yourself always.

thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 it really means a lot to be because... that's really what i wanted in having this blog. to share my own journey and through that, emphasizing that it's okay not to be okay. there's a light... and it's our own selves, if we allow it. i've been the light in my own darkness, and i want everyone to know the same is true for them. i'm glad you know it now too. :) and i'm so excited for you !!

please let me know what you think of the movie ! i just rewatched it today, and it was just as lovely, honestly better now that i've grown since the last time i saw it. and also, i just love the visuals of the movie. so beautiful !

also thank you, my days have been really lovely. there's just so much love everywhere and i'm just allowing myself to take it all in. it's really nice hehe ❣️

[pbandjesse]

It's the last day of the year! Honestly the worst holiday but also. It is nice to reflect. To get a little excited about what comes next. This year was a lot. And next year will be even more. And I'm excited for that.

Today was chill though. I slept okay. But I had nothing I needed to do so when I woke up I just stayed in bed. I stayed in bed until 1030. When I finally pulled myself up and made the bed. I went and washed my hair. I felt a little better.

Because it was later in the morning I felt better about eating Mac and cheese as a first meal.

I decided to try doing my eyeliner different. Which did not go well at first. I only had wooden pencil eyeliner. Which hurts my waterline. Later I would go to Walgreens to get a crayon kind and it went so much better and I feel very pretty. It is fun to try a new look.

I would feel very winded today. I was very congested and my ears were all closed up. I felt fine beyond that but it was frustrating how quickly I would lose steam today.

I would get some stuff done though. I would decide I should start making progress on getting rid of some stuff. This is very tough. Which makes me annoyed because I sued to be so good at it! But everything feels tied up in emotions and memories and gifts and people. So it feels next to impossible. But I was determined to at least try.

So I pulled out my trunk that I thought had extra knickknacks stored in. Turns out it was almost all just empty cigar boxes. Well then I would start to utilize those. And started pulling small objects off the shelves and putting them away. I chose some stuff to get rid of. And was not getting rid of a ton but I was making progress and that felt good.

I would take a break and lay down and watched videos. I did a little vacuuming but it was very half hearted. Eventually I would change the kitty litter and clean up a little.

I had soup for lunch. And then decided I would start going through the kitchen. Let's go through mugs.

We have so many mug. Just an unreasonable amount of glassware. But because everything is tied up with James's things I decided that the best way to handle my emotions with this would be to just straight up take out anything in the cabinet that I use all the time. I made some hard calls. But I ended up pulling out 7 mugs and 5 cups. This is wildly extream because we have so many. But I was proud of myself. And now James can pick the ones they want to keep and we can feel okay with getting rid of the rest.

So there was no confusion I moved all my chosen vessels to the cubby shelf. Which lead to me deciding to pull out all my water bottles and travel cups. Also from storage. This was way harder to purge. I use so many of them!! Often! I got rid of so many bottles already last year. But I am keeping most of them. I ended up getting rid of 3 cups and 3 bottles. I still have so many but I don't feel as bad because I have reasons for these ones. Plus I have some I leave at camp. I have so many beverage containers it's so silly.

I would go through our reusable straws next. I don't like the metal ones as much and some are weirdly thin and others have bad mouth feeling. I was proud of myself getting rid of so much.

Once I was done I was texting with James about how we should make lucky lemon pigs for new years. I had seen them online and thought it was so cute. So I decided I would go get us some lemons and pick up the eyeliner I wanted.

And it was beautiful out. I put on some music and enjoyed my walk to the store. I was in a good mood. And after I got what I needed I headed back home. I made a stop over to look at the free stuff from yesterday. There was still some neat gardening stuff. And I was able to get a brand new in the package garlic plate grater and some plant flags. Amazing. James will enjoy those.

I would spend the rest of the afternoon just chilling. Waiting for James. And when James got home I was so happy to see them.

They said I did so good with my purging. And it was decided we would go to dinner to celebrate before we went to spend a little time at the Chang's before we had our first footing for the year.

So that is what we did. We walked to brass tap and talked and had a really chill little dinner. The Chang's would have Chinese food so James just got a pretzel. I got a sandwich and we shared fries. It is always so loud in there but the food was good. The walk there was really nice. The walk back was a little tough on me because it's slightly uphill. I got very overheated. But I enjoyed the evening sir and James company and I just love them so much.

They kept telling me how pretty I was. They liked my new eyeliner. And they liked my very sparkly dress. I am their little disco ball. I felt really good.

When we got back home after dinner we had some stuff to do before we headed out again. We had some stuff to bring over there. And I was excited to see them. But my congestion was getting worse and I felt like my head was underwater.

When we got there George gave me some decongestant and that has helped a lot. But I was mostly just excited to see everyone. Katie was upset when she realized there wasn't any real vegetarian stuff for me. But I kept telling her I just ate dinner it's okay!! I would eat two spring rolls. Which were probably vegetarian. I couldn't find any meats in there. I kept telling her it was okay! I was just happy to be there.

I would also just love talking about art with George. We have a lot of the same favorite contemporary artists and I was telling him about the stuff I saw and researched in grad school and it is always just such a gratifying and intellectually stimulating conversation.

I also spoke to Julien and David. We got to talk about the house. David and Grace just bought a house too and it was fun to hear what they are doing with their projects. And they are engaged too so I'm excited to lend a hand and help them however we can.

It was fun but I was losing steam. My ears were opening up but my allergies were starting to bother me. So we hugged everyone and went home.

James has left there phone at home by accident and that has stressed me out. So I was glad when they found it right away. We opened some little gifts we got from James's cousins that was passed along to us from the Fulwilers. And James finished up the dishes.

I was hanging out here in bed texting my mom when I remembered the pigs!! So me and James would go and make our little lucky pigs. James is cuter. I made mine's to far apart and the ears were wrong. I moved the eyes but the ears could be better. Ah well. Still super cute and I'm glad we did this. I put them in the first footing basket. I picked a larger basket this year which I think looks a little empty. But I have all the things! So hopefully we have lots of good luck for next year.

There is an hour to New Year's. I made a TikTok and fed the fish and am just thinking back to all the things we did this year. The places we went and the stuff we saw. The things I accomplished! The art I made! It was full of ups and downs and joy and heartbreak and wins and loses. The only resource you can't get back is time, and I am grateful for every day. And I hope this new year will bring more joy. A new home. More family. More art. I am starting another temperature blanket. And I have so many plans. I hope that you all have a great New Years. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[kenobster]

Hey - just wanted to send a note after your last post bc I didn't interact with your Vader mpreg posts and wanted to explain why ,- it's not at all because I find you grotesque or any of those other terrible things!! I love your writing, I'm just in an Obi-Wan whump hyperfixation rn and scroll past anything that doesn't mention him 😭 I'm so sorry, it was never my intention to dig up any bad thoughts!! Sending you hugs ❤️

Hey friendo ❤️ Thanks for the ask and for sharing your feelings with me! I'm super grateful for your reassurance, you are very kind. I also really want you and everyone else to understand that y'all did absolutely nothing wrong. (Radiates huge hug energy for everyone!)

Like, I have scrolled past many a post without interacting with it. Sometimes I've even scrolled past posts that I want to interact with but am simply having a bout of executive dysfunction for whatever reason. There've also been many, many, many times (practically every time honestly) in which I do not reach the end of my dash by the end of the day and countless posts are lost to the whims of time because of it. And yeah, people will try to make us feel guilty for that. People who are hurting will especially try to make us feel guilty for that. There is post after post after post after post on this website demonizing people who don't comment or reblog for "ruining fandom." But those posts aren't being fair. Those posts are just coming from people who are hurting.

The truth is that life just be like this sometimes.

Regarding the other thing you said, I am well aware people follow me for a variety of interests! I know that not everyone shares my interest in horrifying atrocities against trainwreck villains, and that's fabulously okay with me. :) I like having differing dimensions and moods and places to exist. It's good for rainy days like today! And I'm very grateful that my broad spectrum of interests doesn't stop you from enjoying the things I post that you are interested in; that makes me incredibly relieved to hear!!

But yeah, so an interaction with a post about, say, Every Shadow isn't an interaction stolen from Vader's uterus. At least, not in my mind. It's true that I may be having feelings right now that are first affecting my ability to work on tamer/more popular interests -- but that doesn't mean I've forgotten every single wonderful person who has conveyed enjoyment of those interests! To the contrary, those people (you included!) make very happy and will continue to make me happy and have no bearing on my sad feelings in any way whatsoever. I enjoy asks about shadow AU and reblogs of Every Shadow chapters and likes of my dumb hot takes just as much today as I will next week and as I did last year. Yo, yesterday, someone even commented on one of the first Loki fanfics I ever wrote (back in 2014!), and even that gave me pure and utter joy. Believe it or not, there's no possible interaction any single one of you could have with me that could dig up bad thoughts or otherwise hurt me. So please don't ever feel like my sad feelings are reflective of anything anyone did or didn't do. <3

My sad feelings are a Me Problem, not a fandom problem. And sometimes Me Problems are nobody's fault. Sometimes people feel bad or need to take steps to preserve their mental health, and it's only the fault of some stupid brain chemicals trained to cause certain illogical reactions. But I'm gonna be fine, anon, so you keep being you. :)

[disizletzi]

Day 1 of my journaling year!  Happy New Year everyone!  I don’t want to clog everyone’s dash so I’ll put everything under a cut: 

I wasn’t in a great mood yesterday, and so I ended the year on a somewhat depressing note, because, as usual, I was alone for NYE, and as usual, I was thinking it was going to be cosy and nice and it ended up feeling pretty lonely.  This prompted me to go search google for an hour, to see what dating app was the best lol, but yeah, I didn’t register on any of them. I’m still scared of men who  jump on you with a sexual come on, and this is something that can be bordeline triggering for me. I guess I need to build a bit of confidence still, but it would be nice to spend the end of 2023 with someone. Here’s hoping!  I have been single for... ugh... 13 years? So it’s kind of difficult to imagine myself with someone. Giving my trust to a significant other is the toughest thing ever for me, so I think that’s why I’ve been alone for so long. Plus, I’ve been sleeping alone for a long while, I’m used to having my space!!  In other news, my car “broke down” on friday, which sucks, although the timing was good because I have a trip coming next week and I’m glad it won’t happen then because it would’ve been a huge problem. As it is, I was out with my aunts and some cousins, we went to see a play and on the way home my car started making the weirdest noises. Turns out it’s just usual wear and tear and I need to change the clutch system, because it’s old.  So I am carless for now, but I need to check with my mom’s boyfriend, who knows a lot about car, and I don’t think it should be that expensive. It just that the money I had set aside was for fixing my teeth, but, well... I guess it’ll have to wait a couple of months.  I also have been studying remotely for 3 years, to get a degree in English Lit (here in France the undergrad degree is 3 years), and the trip I was talking about that I need to be taking is to go the city where my university is and take the end of semester exams. Which means I had to take two weeks off from work. It’s been a pretty busy 3-year period tbh! I work 40hours a week, and I don’t know how but I managed to do this at the same time so I guess I can say I’m pretty proud of that. I’m also pretty excited about being done. I have to take these final exams and then the ones in May and I’ll be done.  I don’t think i’ll try for a graduate degree because the remote program doesn’t have a lot of options, and also, I’m tired lol.  So, I don’t like NY resolutions, but I do have a “year’s program” every year (because resolutions make me anxious, I feel like i /have/ to do them and when I don’t I feel guilty. A “program” is less guilt-ridden!): - I have to finish and get my degree (not worried about this one).  - I have to go to the gym more often: the goal is once a week for starters, to get used to it and find real pleasure in going there.  - I really have to finish my WIP that’s been on hold since august, I’m sorry to those of you who are reading it and waiting. Classes and work take all of my free time! - I want to write an original novel. The goal is to at least start it this year lmao! And this is it for today! I guess the 1st day of the year always brings a mood where I’m just reflecting on myself and making lists of stuff I would like to achieve (and not even half of them happen but if a few do it’s a good thing!).  I do wish you all who have read until now a very happy 2023. Let me know about your “program” if you have one! And see you tomorrow :D 

[corpseaten]

I completely get what you mean, usually I just like to watch people but I never openly interact with anyone because I get easily frustrated when I see other yans having friends here. Or have their account dedicated to more than one person, you get what I’m saying? Maybe I’m selfish but to me those kind aren’t really yans and pretend to be like us, like this is some kind of funny thing to have. I’m actually in my early twenties so we don’t really have a big gap.

It’s hard to explain how I think we are similar, I have an hard time trying to figure out myself most of the time so it’s probably just a feeling I have. By what I saw how you write, your thoughts, I resonate with them and they are somehow calming to me.

I’m not the sanest individual here so don’t worry, I’m glad you are feeling even a tiny bit better compared to earlier <3 If I can ask what made you happy today?

Honestly? I hate to wait to, I always have to be the first choice but well… I’m not, it’s not like I didn’t tried before but I hate when I’m the only one trying to start a conversation and there’s nothing to return my attention. Just yesterday I basically had a mental breakdown because a friend of mine basically ignored me all day despite being online and that took a serious shift in my mood, I pretty much deactivated my account because I couldn’t handle all that stress anymore.

Another european comrade? It’s a first time, I see most USA people in the community

-🥩

I do not really interact with mutuals unless I have some sort of interest in them, I just post and wait for attention to come to me. You are right, it is starting to piss me off how friendly people on here are becoming, it didn’t use to be like this..but there was a sudden influx of sociable peoole invading the yandere space. It seriously annoys me, go be on obslove-blr or something not yanblr??? you are literally not a yandere if you have friends or actively sought them out. That also annoys me, a yandere cannot have an obsession with more than one person as that’s not what a yandere is. Too many obsessive people take the label of yandere and run with it like . . we do not want you here? get out? Ohhh that is not that big then! I am almost nineteen myself.

Ahhh that makes sense, well, I’m glad that I can be somewhere that you are reflected in.

I am not entirely better . . I am overly fatigued right now, i find myself feeling that a lot recently due to all the stressful things which have been going on. What made me happy was my bag arriving ! I’ve been waiting on it for a few months, so, I am overjoyed.

Yes, it is awful, I find myself always being made to wait by people I would never make wait, it just breaks my heart. I wish someone would wait on my every word, the way I find myself doing. Ohhh that isn’t good, my apologies, Hope you’re doing okay. I don’t have any friends so, I cannot really sympathise.

Yes, It’s mainly americans, but, I am in Europe, I know of at least one other person on here who has a similar timezone to me as well.

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

Hi 👋, may I share with you my train of thoughts after something. I've had heavy ocd and intrusive thoughts. Things have been rather calm but yesterday I saw something very triggering. It's not, and by far, the worst I've seen as of late years, but I recently suspended my medication so I was very uh, vulnerable? So, I woke up today, the familiar feeling of failure for letting it affecting me, for letting something that lasted a minute affect me up to the next day, I an very disappointed and angry and disgusted, and that makes me more disappointed and angrier and more disgusted, and that makes me even more disappointed and even angrier and even more disgusted, and that makes me so so much more disappointed and... so on and on and on.

But, it's been years of therapy, and a dbs surgery! I am, in fact so much better at dealing this despairing things,! But it still affects me and ruins the mood. But anyway, I was writing my feelings to share with my psychologist next appointment, mostly bad things from my anger and disgust and disappointment. ALTHOUGH I DO KNOW ITS OK, AND EVEN IF KNOWING THAT DOESN IMMEDIATLY MAKE IT ALL OK AND I STILL HATE IT, THAT IT'S OK TOO! I know, I know. I can deal with this so much better than years before, I don't have, -shouldn't have- to feel like a failure, I am, indeed, awesome and pure and clean and amazing. If I still feel down, that's okay. Healing it's not linear, I shouldn't feel disappointed and frustrated, but if I do, that it's okay, and so valid. Do you understand me? If I feel frustrated it's okay, if I rationalize I shouldn't feel frustrated, but still do? That's okay! If being frustrated makes more frustrated that it's okay too.

I am so strong and resilient and smart, shit happens and I'm still small and vulnerable about so many things in so many levels, doesn't change the fact I am so much better now. I know things can't still hurt me, even way more than I first expected, even more than they should. Oh I've done so much worked so hard and still things affect me, and I hate it, and it scares me, and I hate it! But is not as scary as before. Things still are horrible, and probably they'll always be. But I'm not as scared as before. God even this many is helping me!!! It's OK, I will be OK.

For my next appointment I wrote:

Gross commercial, so, good rationalization trying to get over it not hacmve to be scared or weirded or angry or frustrated, now (in a rather familiar process) I get over all that somehow? Meet peace? No, from the creators of "Oh you are no longer ultra disgusted about that one thing bc actually you like it and you are the grossest" comes "Oh okay, but wathever growth you have after it is actually you growing from (being planted from) that disgusted thing. You are going to be better, or be better at navigating those 'gross overwhelming'? Great,  but don't forget that it is not you actually growing, but rather you basing all your whole future experience from that one gross thing. Oh, you're gonna consume media you love d3spite the disgust? That's because all you are now, all you are and do and enjoy has been born and molded from that gross thing. You wrote those angry things? Feel that way? Decided to change those other aspects? Well, regular people do that from heavy life experiences, or start from the things they love or, youbdid it from a gross thing, a very gross 🤢🤮 commercial, and that's gross and so lame 🤢 whatever comes now, whatever personal growth you have now it's going to be as a result/entirely based on that super disgusting thing which makes you so gross and so lame and 🤢🤢🤢 I mean what else to expect from someone as gross as you yourself🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

......

And I don't know, suddenly I'm so tired, but it's been nice, both the first annotations I did to talk with my psychologist, and the sharing-turned into reflections- that I did here on tumblr. IT'S STILL A PROBLEM AND I HATE IT AND I AM SCARED. But it's so much better than it used to be, I don't feel remotely as alone, or as condemned. And there is this peace, that even if everything went in the worst direction possible, eventually I will be okay, and be even better and stronger. Like with horror movies that actually horrorize me and scare me and ruin, literally ruin my life for days. Time goes on, I still hate them and fear them, but it's not as bad and the things I love and enjoy and I do and I am remain there. Goooooshhhh THERE IS STILL so much more I want to say and in so many ways but it's starting to feel repetitive, so, till next time.

It will still suck, but it all will be better, yes! Not just okay, but in general better and better than when they started. It is cycles and they go round and round, but ofc it's no just that. The cycle of bad and good worse and better it's not just repeating there in a place, that cycle, the cycle, does advance, with a direction and a magnitude, idk idk I'm too tired for now, but it's okay, it's fine and valid, and oh the horrors! Horrors that won't stop me tho.

(It fucking sucks and I hate, and it's not "Oh an opportunity to improve/ a space to reflect/ an instance to learn and get stronger OH IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT ITS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING THAT IT HAPPENED" No. NO, no and I fucking hate this and God why couldn't it just not fucking happened! But... since it did... and I have thing to say, well 🤷‍♀️ you know, goddammit... goddammit, just working with it, oh well, oh well. STILL HATE IT ALL, STILL BITCH MY BRAIN, STILL IT ALL SUCKS, BUT!!!: I'm doing what i can, and i am, still, a bitch to be ware about 😎)

[stormboundscholar]

A new day

Sometimes your day may not go as well as usual. Yesterday was one of those. I tend to set high expectations for myself. I think having trust in your capabilities makes your successes more meaningful, but it also means that it will hurt more when you eventually fail.

It was a nice day that morning. The next big thing for me is my college entrance exams. Our school often makes mock exams and yesterday, I failed my criteria for myself. I suddenly started to feel self doubt for the first time in months. Sad times to be honest.

It is hard when you work and work but don't see any results, sometimes you feel that you have actually lost some of your progress. This can't be healthy mentally, but I have found that if you use these moments of despair as a lesson to help you achieve results, or maybe even as a lash whipping you towards your goal, you may continue stronger afterwards.

After some self reflection and some help from my family I decided to put my phone away of arm's reach and got to work. It was painful but at least I was back on track.

So I worked more efficiently today. And I managed to add more hours as well! I am tired from all the studying but I totally think it was worth it because I felt accomplished. I was proud of myself again. Maybe I am a bit behind on schedule but it should be OK. I just have to keep this up for a year or so, and even if I can't be perfect the goals I had were a stretch really. The wildly unrealistic expectations I had for myself were actually the reason my mood was ruined after all.

Trust in yourself, sometimes progress won't lead to immediate results, and even if you fail it is better to have done what was needed will help you to heal from your wounds and get back on your feet.

Good luck everyone, and good night.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Joey flinched as Becky continued to throw stuff around in a chaotic fashion. He and Charlie both noticed how Becky seemed to be frantically looking for someone. Her eyes darting everywhere in a rapid motion. She also looked like she was searching for someone while causing a mess at the same time. Joey and Charlie both glanced briefly at each other. Each suspecting the same reason behind Becky's actions. "Joey, what the heck is going on there?" Dr. Two Brains asked, sounding both worried and angry at the situation he was hearing. "I'm sorry boss." Joey tried to apologize. "I know you told me and Charlie that Becky looked different now. But she soon woke up and came downstairs while Charlie and I were distracted. We...kind of startled each other that's all. She is causing a huge mess in the lair. Charlie and I can't seem to calm her down. She is looking real upset boss. Charlie and I both think she is trying to find where you went." Dr. Two Brains sighed. He wasn't mad with his henchmen. They had difficulty handling Becky's powers even on a good day. Dr. Two Brains replied to his henchmen. "Look, just keep her from leaving the lair. I will rush back as quickly as possible. Try to avoid getting hit by anything she throws. Becky still has her powers. Any of those objects could turn into lethal projectiles." There was a pause on the end before Joey responded. "Okay boss. Um..what does lethal mean?" "Never mind that." Dr. Two Brains quickly responded as he figured it was best to not give the definition of that word to his already stressed henchmen. "Just take care of yourselves and try to make sure neither you two or Beck get hurt. Bye." Dr. Two Brains quickly hung up his phone and raced to his van, speeding off back to the lair. "Augh you stupid idiot." Dr. Two Brains scolded himself as he bonked his forehead. He should have suspected something more with that puppy pout Becky gave him last night when he was about to leave her alone for only a few moments. 'It would make sense she wouldn't want to be separated from me again after how long we last saw each other.' Two Brains' rationalized. The mad scientist frowned with a deep sigh as he drove on. 'I promise kiddo. I won't ever leave you.' "Come on Violet. Slow down." Todd 'Scoops' Ming whined as he exhaustedly tried to keep up with his fast running friend. Scoops wanted to meet up with Violet today to bring some comfort to his girlfriend and take her mind off of recent issues by doing some leisurely activities together. Violet on the other hand told him they were going to Dr. Two Brains' lair today and then the girl began to race their with strong determination. Leaving an exasperated Scoops to only chase off after her. The disappearance of Becky and Bob affected all who knew the two well. Though to Scoops, it seemed that Violet and Dr. Two Brains were the most affected by this occurrence. Scoops was also greatly saddened by his friend's vanishing, but that was nothing compared to how Violet had felt. She and Becky knew each other when they were only toddlers, far longer than he knew her. Those two were like sisters almost. Ever since Becky and Bob went missing. Violet was no longer the cheerful person she was. Her art now reflecting her distraught mood when she did draw. She had often joined the mad scientist and his henchmen in searching day after day for Becky. Even offering to make posters for the man. Scoops did his hardest to help search too, but he felt disheartened every day when there seemed to be no lead to follow for the ace reporter. Still Violet wasn't one to give up. Scoops just didn't know if his heart could take it seeing his girlfriend despondent again after another futile effort. Violet stopped running to let Scoops catch up to her. She turned to him with an apologetic and determined look. "I'm sorry Scoops, but we got to help Dr. Two Brains search for Becky again today since traffic was too busy yesterday for us to come here." Violet turned away and looked down towards the ground. Her fists clenched tightly. "I'm not going to waist any more time."

@melodythebunny

Fair City Vs The Facility RP

(here is my rp promise Melody 😈)

Dr. Two Brains blinked his bloodshot eyes as the alarm clock blared on his nightstand. It was another night of lack of sleep. Groaning, the mad scientist lazily reached his hand over and bonked the snooze button on the alarm. Two Brains slowly got up and out of bed. All the while clutching a pink unicorn plush toy tightly to his chest. He walked to his bathroom and rubbed his face with one glove, feeling the stubble and whiskers that had not been shaven as often as he did before. He placed the unicorn toy down in a safe spot before approaching the bathroom sink as he began to wash his face and brush his teeth. One of the small amount of hygiene practices he still has the energy and motivation to keep up with now a days. After cleaning his face and teeth, Dr. Two Brains just stared at the mirror for a bit, seeing a reflection that had seen brighter days. With a deep sigh, Dr. Two Brains left the bathroom and began to head out of his bedroom and into the living room of his evil lair. He paused mid step and stared back at the pink unicorn plush. With tender care, the villain picked up the toy and cradled it in his arms. He stared at the toy with affection, yet bitter pain in his red/pink eyes. Time seemed to stop for the mad scientist for an eternity, but only about 8 minutes had passed before the scientist placed the toy gently back on his bed. As he opened the door to his bedroom to leave, he turned back again to face the unicorn toy lying still on the bed, something he did many times before ever since that horrible moment in his life. "Don't worry Pawni." Dr. Two Brains spoke softly, again holding back sobs coming from his mouth, "I'll try to find her again today." He then closed the door behind him, leaving the toy and all the memories it held, in total darkness.

Joey and Charlie frowned with concern towards their boss as the mad scientist slowly ate his cheesy breakfast. The henchmen had to force their boss to not forgo his eating habits and to keep up his strength in spite of everything. They both sadly knew the source of their boss's new forlorn, depraved. and sorrowful state. It was about four months to this date that Becky and her pet monkey Bob had vanished from Fair City without a trace. At first, Dr. Two Brains didn't suspect anything was amiss when his daughter and her monkey had not come home one Friday evening for dinner. The mad scientist assumed that they were at a friend's house and he had forgotten or not heard Becky tell him of her plans which was typical for him especially since his brain had become scrambled due to his fusion with Squeaky. Even when The Butcher had successfully committed a crime the next day and Wordgirl nor Huggy had shown up to stop him was not too much cause for alarm. There were rare moments when Becky would be too busy in her civilian life to show up to a crime but she would always make it up later. What caused Dr. Two Brains to truly start to panic was later that same day when Chuck committed a crime but this time the new hero Kid Math showed up to stop him. When Chuck asked where Wordgirl and Captain Huggy Face were, to the villain's total surprise, Kid Math had no idea either. The boy said he tried visiting them at the spaceship hideout but they were not there. He was just about done searching the city for the duo when he saw Chuck committing a crime. Of course, distraught with the news Wordgirl and Huggy were missing, Chuck passed the news in the villain's chat room on his phone while in jail. The news soon reached Dr. Two Brains who was now becoming increasingly worried to his not knowing of his pinky's whereabout's, started calling the Ming's and the Heaslip's. He wanted to believe his earlier assumptions that his daughter was just being busy with her friends and taking a break from her hero duties. His heart only sank further and further when each parent proved him wrong. Dr. Two Brains then called Mrs. Botsford, one part for a last check to see if she was with the family and when again he was proven wrong, to asks the District Attorney's help to find his child and her monkey. Weeks passed, missing posters were put up, Becky and Bob's case ran on the news a few times. Violet and Scoops rounded up all the kids and teachers from Becky's school to help look. It was all for naught. When he was able to contact him, Two Brains and Kid Math worked out a facade to convince the citizens that Wordgirl and Huggy were just visiting Lexicon and Kid Math would take over until they came back. Only Scoops, Kid Math, Dr. Two Brains, and the rest of the EVA knew the truth from that lie. Dr. Two Brains began committing less and less crimes, his reputation as the #1 villain falling. But he didn't care. He would give anything to get his daughter back, anything to see her and Bob alive and well again. To the mad scientist's amazement in all this, Squeaky wasn't pushing Dr. Two Brains to steal cheese to satisfy their obsession. It seemed the mouse brain was also truly saddened by Becky's disappearance. It had been 4 months since Becky and Bob's disappearance, but Dr. Two Brains was not giving up until he found them. He just wanted his daughter back. The mad scientist finished his meal and slowly got up and headed towards the entrance of his lair. "I'm going to take the van and search again boys. Call me and let me know if you receive any phone calls concerning Becky and/or Bob." Dr. Two Brains commanded his men in a slightly emotionless voice. The henchmen just nodded solemnly. "You got it boss." Joey responded. "Take care out there." A small, grateful smile crept upon Two Brains' lips. He knew the henchmen were worried about Becky and Bob as well as his own health. Dr. Two Brains gave a slight nod and headed out the door to the van. He drove away into the city, continuing his search for his child and monkey. The only thing he left behind was his lab coat.

@melodythebunny (1st)

@drtwobrainsstuff (2nd)

[wolken-himmel]

In which a trip to the botanical gardens with Azul causes (Y/n) to inhale a strange sort of pollen that makes the magicless prefect all flirty.

Well, to the point where (Y/n) spills out a confession.

Requested by @ohoneypie.

"Azul, why do I have to come along...?"

An impatient scowl decorated your face as you trudged after the rather motivated Octavinelle dorm leader. His steps were brisk and swift with grace while you simply let your shoulders slouch forward in an uncaring way. Even the bright colours of the flowers within the botanical gardens wouldn't lift your spirits as you walked past them.

Your mood turned even more sour when Azul turned around to shoot you an innocent smile that hid devious smugness. "Well, perhaps you forgot what unfortunate events transpired the day before yesterday?" A charismatic chuckle escaped his lips while he watched you freeze in horror. "I remember your words very clearly: 'Oh Azul, I'm so sorry for the broken dishes! I owe you one.' And as generous as I was, I did not demand any monetary compensation. Instead, all I wish to do is take you up on—"

Scoffing, you raised your hand and waved him off. "You can stop talking now, Azul. I got it..." you hissed under your breath. "Curse Grim and Ace for their plate juggling contest..."

The corners of the merman's lips quirked up in amusement. "Oh, you are much more pleasant company than those two— even with all your yapping and complaining." Without even waiting for a reply, he resumed his quick pace, expecting you to follow after him.

Your lips were pressed into a thin line. "I'll stop now..." you muttered under your breath, to which he didn't reply, anyway. The rest of the walk was spent in comfortable silence, allowing you to calm down and let go of the frustration inside of you. When you came to a halt in front of an empty beet that only harboured one bright pink flower, you couldn't help but turn your attention to Azul. "Anyway, care to tell me what we are doing here? Just curious."

He briefly glanced into your direction as he knelt beside the beet, his gloved hands running across the soft petals of the magical flower. "We will be harvesting a special sort of flower today, for which I will need your help," he muttered quietly, his eyes trained at the plant.

You quirked an eyebrow. "You need help picking daisies?"

A little chortle escaped his lips at your remark, and he finally rose to his feet again to look you in the eyes properly. "Not exactly, dear," he said, an amused grin on his lips. "It's a special kind of flower called Pink Narcissus— one that only blooms when exposed to all sorts of compliments and sweet nothings. It's for a truth potion I'm brewing, for when Jade isn't around..."

"That's all I gotta do?" you asked, suspicious of how easy this task was.

"Precisely." Azul hummed as he pulled out a pair of tweezers and a little box. "I shall collect some of the petals while you drown it in praises. Don't worry, it won't hurt the flower." Then, he knelt down beside the beet of soil and urged you to begin your smooth talking.

A little bit confused and embarrassed, you obeyed his command and reluctantly bent forward to bring your face closer to the proud floor situated in the middle of the beet. "Good day, Narcissus... You're really handsome today. Your petals reflect the sun light beautifully," you began awkwardly, soon growing more confident when the flower seemed to reply with a happy nod. Its petals turned a shade darker, causing you to laugh. "Oh, you're blushing, aren't you? What a shy plant you are. Uhm... I like your humility."

This time, the flower bent forward, the leaves on its stalk caressing your outstretched hand. As it was distracted, Azul neared with his tweezers, carefully plucking a few petals here and there. "Yes... just like that," he cooed after having pulled off the third and last petal he needed. The flower didn't notice any of his antics, too busy ensnaring your hand with its leaves in a loving way.

Your gaze flitted upwards to him. "You got it Azul—? Ah!" You were caught off-guard when the flower, dissatisfied with your lack of compliments, threw a blast of pollen right into your face. Startled, you stumbled backwards and collapsed to the floor. "W-What was that?" you cried out and held your head in confusion.

After having safely stored away his petals and tools, Azul rushed over to your side and carefully prodded your shoulder. "(Y/n), are you alright?" His eyes were glazed with worry when your eyes fluttered open to reveal the strange pink tint of your irises.

A series of coughs escaped your lips when he helped you sit up. You clutched onto him for support, the world still spinning wildly. "I think I breathed in some of its pollen—" You were interrupted by another coughing fit that was stronger than the last one. Worse, your eyes grew teary and puffy. "Ugh, I feel kind of dizzy..." you complained between wheezes.

Azul awkwardly patted your back. "You should try to breathe normally... Please don't go into anaphylactic shock..." He tensed when you placed your head onto his shoulder, your laboured breathing fanning over his neck. His cheeks grew a soft red.

However, you soon calmed down. Much to his relief, you soon lifted your head from his shoulder and let out a deep sigh. Yet, he wasn't allowed to recover from the shock when you gazed up at him happily, a dreamy smile on your lips. "Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are, Azul?" you asked while clutching onto his hand that lay on your other shoulder.

His usual calm demeanour seemed gone as he was left a sputtering mess. "Pardon me? Perhaps you hit your head, somehow..." he muttered quietly, his voice an octave higher than it usually was. "Come on, you should get on your feet."

"No, please..." You brought your face closer to his, your lips almost ghosting over his. "I want to stay like this, forever. Just you and me..."

Azul was frozen in horror, unable to pull back— no matter how much his mind yelled at him to. Instinctively, his eyes fluttered close, ready to feel his lips collide with yours. However, when he felt your other free hand on his cheek, he snapped out of it and jerked back before your lips could actually touch.

His cheeks were a blazing red by then. "You're acting strangely..." he muttered shakily while keeping you at a safe distance.

You simply waved him off with genuine laughter. "Perhaps I am acting strangely..." you whispered softly, smiling brightly. "Being in love does strange things to oneself, or at least that's what I'm told."

"...being in love?" Azul repeated slowly. His entire frame was frozen in horror.

"What a silly little octopus you are... You look so adorable, flustered like that!" you cooed, ignoring his surprise. "No one could ever blame me for falling in love with you, Azul..."

"Y-You—" Azul could barely believe what he had just heard. "Really?" he managed to breathe out, caught in awe.

You nodded eagerly. "I loooooove you...! But don't tell (Y/n) I said that..." A little giggle escaped your lips as you used the opportunity to peck his cheek. "It's a secret between you and I, alright?"

A silly smile blossomed on the usually so stoic dorm leader's face. "Understood..." His smile morphed into a smug grin as he wrapped his arms around you, embracing you gently. "What a surprising turn of events... but not an unwelcome one."