#yes. i did add every forget me not sticker i could find

[seaside-kaycee]

hoping to post more regularly after i graduate. have a clock

freak ass guy. fave

[willowaudreykeyes]

Okay: I’ve watched it 4 times and here’s the things about the episode that I find interesting. Or that I’m looking too much into. You guys can all decide because idk.

- Roman seems to make alliterations when he's shocked? He's done it before, but now he's done it again and when he's surprised that Thomas 'lied' or 'tricked' the ticket person.

- Virgil has resting disappointed face even as he eats popcorn.

- Roman is very dramatic about the age thing. "He's in his thirties, he may as well be in his sixties." "Can't think of new excuses quick enough in his old age."

- "I love you" is very big words. Do not use them, or forget them, lightly around Virgil.

- Have they always been on his back so much about lying, or was it only after Janus was introduced?

- Possibility: Romans eyes actually change into hearts when cute guy appears?

- Also: Roman goes into Shakespearean when cute guy appears.

- Roman is so optimistic when it comes to love! But not about other Sides? He's rather pessimistic when it came to Virge (at the beginning) and Janus. And kinda Remus too.

- Roman has used "We don't know if he's not gay" more times then the three can count.

- Pins equals introverts way of talking apparently. I guess that makes sense, since there’s pins for almost every kind of hobby, and Virgil knows this too.

- Roman sounds rather happy when they found out that Nico likes Paramore. Supporting his emo friend and his hobbies right there.

- “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is and will always be a Prinxiety thing. Did you see those star eyes Roman gave? And how happy-surprised Virge was?

- Virgil does think about romance too. “You can live like Jack and Sally, if you want.” Kind of cute.

- Virgil has eyes like a damn hawk. He saw those pins and went full on x10 zoom on them.

- Roman’s got some adorable music happening when more clues appear.

- Sticker/Button System must be followed or Virge no happy.

- Roman is almost as good as Patton with puns, except he has to explain it. Has he done that before? I feel like he has. I feel like this is a thing but I’m not sure.

- Roman and Virgil have about the same wavelength when it came to the creepy stalking-ish part. They both cringe when Thomas goes off to the side.

- If you use a word at the end of a sentence that sounds like a name at Roman, he thinks you got his name wrong. He did it at some other point I can’t remember when but he does this. Kind of feels like a autism and/or ADHD trait? (I know I for sure get confused sometimes)

- “Great... he’s gay” “Great indeed...” “GREAT INDEED” I love them. Just gonna say that again.

- Roman has this big thing about his name and it doesn’t seem like its a thing he’s faking? He seems genuinely confused. The one that’s two above mentions it, and the way he spelt it at the trial? And how he seemed very defensive when Janus spelt it wrong? This is a thing.

- Virgil is a self-proclaimed expert of anti-social etiquette and I say he deserves that title. 

- Virgil also really likes non-verbal ways of communicating. 

- Roman does the thing where you put your two pointer fingers together and its adorable.

- Fast head nod of agreement coming from Roman here. Over dramticness? Or actual quirk?

- Roman very much freaks out when flirting goes wrong. Not just a Virgil thing. 

- Virgil be scaring Thomas with zero regrets when he lost his test that the Universe gave him.

- Virgil be very glad to admit when he’s panicking. He also has admitted when he’s anxious in the past. He knows it, acknowledges it, makes Thomas and the others deal with it because dealing with it isn’t in the job description.

- Roman’s fine with compromise! Virgil gives an idea that attempts to help the romance part, Roman’s not 100% happy but rolls with it. Besties right here (even if they don’t know it). He does have a limit though.

- Nicknames are forever with Roman.

- Virgil is on Thomas’ left side, the more ‘thinky’ side of the brain. Roman is on the right, the more ‘feely’ side of the brain. It’s kind of more obvious in the scene where they grab Thomas a lot.

- Roman really slips with his feelings when he’s stressed. He says stuff that’s usually more about his self-worth. “You’re making a mistake.” “If I am, I’ll add it to the list.” That was said under a lot of stress and frustration. He’s done it before and he’s done it again; except now they don’t address it and it’s just a passing sentence.

- pLaNt

- Virgil would rather embarrass Thomas by making him talk to a stranger, instead of the guy that he thinks is cute? I mean, its very embarrassing by the end of it and Virge barely seems affected by it.

- And now Virgil is compromising. He works with Roman to make sure that Thomas looks okay (the “check your teeth” line).

- idk wtf the sty’s thing is about. Weirdly placed anxiety over it? Or something?

- Roman is very impulsive and basically throws Thomas into the trash can when a bad thing happens in front of a lot of people. Ego was definitely hurt there. Why hide instead of run away? Did Virgil sorta influence that?

- Plans help anxiety. Pretty sure they’ve covered that topic before, but lets just do a recap in this I guess.

- Virgil is half the people on this platform “Cyberstalking... but real life”. I mean, everyone makes a metaphor that has an actual word behind it sometimes. 

- “Try Speaking from the heart” ... I expected Patton, but there has been moments before where a Side who is expected to be there, isn’t there. Logan showed this in “Moving On” when he physically left but he never REALLY left. Patton showing up to add his own words to this may have been too much for him? Or he thought it would be for the others?

- Ah crap here’s the monologue-

- First off, it’s very honest. Full on honesty. With no holding back. And it really hit the feels; but is it realistic though? (Genuinely asking I’ve never been in that kind of situation)

- Very rambly too “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing at the mall today. I don’t know what I was looking for... I guess that answers my question- The mall is where you go when you want something but you don’t know what it is because the mall has everything.” Very rambly, very nervous, very honest.

- Roman and Virgil are very... in awe? Shocked? What is this? Roman looks so contemplative as he looks at himself in the mirror and I wanna be in his brain and know what he’s thinking.

- “I don’t know a lot about anything. Least of all, myself.” Okay, Janus just pulled all the way away for a full minute and forty-eight seconds (this is 99% accurate) to just let Thomas talk and feel didn’t he? This is just complete honesty.

- Anyone would be awkward with the guy coming out of that stall. I’m awkward thinking about it and seeing it again. Moving on-

- “I gotta stop wooing strangers in bathrooms” just a 3000 word fic of at least one other time that he’s done this and I will be yours forever

- Virgil is a dramatic emo who dislikes lying. Crossed arms, waiting outside for him, looks up when he says “you know what I meant”- They’re all part of an actor your at least a LITTLE dramatic.

- Virgil has a big thing about lies and relationships. This has to do with him and Janus’ relationship somehow- It’s about Thomas’ relationships with friends and his romantic life too. He didn’t seem as annoyed about them in the ‘Lies’ song way back when which didn’t mention lying about any type of relationship.

- “Can’t have true love if the relationship isn’t built on truth.” Is this what he was thinking about in the bathroom? Its a cute line either way. 

- Okay, Roman and Janus have some kind of... something. Cause a lot of Roman’s talks about his goals for Thomas pushes Thomas into relying on Janus until Roman realises that it’s morally bad OR (as seen in the talk after the bathroom scene) when he realises that it’ll be bad for Thomas in the long run.

- “Will (D)deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to him?” HIM WHO!? Janus or Nico!? Both!? AHHHH! This could mean so much in any direction you throw it but I can’t find the dang words!! “No, he’s better off without me.” This could just be Thomas misunderstanding the ‘him’ Virgil means too or he does understand idk-

- “I was afraid you left!” *INSERT TWO SIDES SCREAMING HERE* Hahaha he’s literally screaming on the inside omg-

- “He fears things too!?” Virgil doesn’t understand how people work when he’s worked up. Duly noted.

- Roman and Virgil equals A Gay Panic

- Thomas’ first thought when panicked is to ask the guy, that he thinks is cute and has been trying to get the attention of for the last while, ‘what is wrong with you?’ ... 10/10 Thomathy

-  .Roman seems... a little resigned that another ‘chance at happiness’ is walking away? I mean, he’s super sad but resigned to his fate. That’s sad as hell. He’s USED TO THIS and I don’t like that 😢

- Virgil’s scene where he looks between, NOT Thomas, but Nico and Roman, is really well done and filled with... a lot. He psyches himself up first of, taking in quick breaths before pushing Thomas, obviously afraid but still doing it anyway. And the look he gives a very resigned Roman looks like its both guilt and sadness. Could just be me thinking that he has a ‘this is my fault’ thing.

- Full on surprise on Roman’s face when Virgil pushes Thomas. No one was expecting that.

- Carrots. The carrots brought them together. Thomas... you don’t have to eat carrots, but at least say ONCE that they aren’t all bad.

- “I like songs” you’ve also written some and sung x5 as many but okay, go with that I guess. (Is this to not brag about being a singer right away? I guess so?)

- If Nico was writing about something that happened midway through his visit to the food court, what was he writing about before that? Did he have nothing until Thomas tripped over the bin?

- “I tend to waste a lot of opportunities in my life” Then cuts to Virgil. Ouch. Direct hit on Virge...

- BRAVERY. (i’ll get back to this-)

- “Shut up, emo.” No complicated nicknames; just the easy picking. Very cute. Very yes. Roman your a sap and its great.

- When Thomas is telling Roman to ‘get out’, he sinks down and is he biting his thumb? He’s still excited. And I’m adding ‘biting’ to his list of stims.

- Virgil claps his hands.  Roman and Virgil both cover their mouths. Both yell. Manic hand movements. Virgil gets Thomas to walks around and flappy hands. (And the nervous pee too I guess?)

- OKAY. EYESHADOW. Big thing, also new. I believe that it may be him ‘growing’ as a Side. First, he believed that he was JUST Thomas’ anxiety. Then comes to term with being more then that, which helps him become a ‘Light Side’. And now, he’s learnt that ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ can both be present at the same time and is now growing from that as well. So, his back and forth between black and purple could mean a back and forth of the ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ aspects. Thomas about to send a bad tweet? Black. Optimistic about things ‘never being the same again’? Purple. Thomas bringing up that they just met? Black. Its a promising start? Purple again.  Purple when something optimistic, its purple. Pessimistic, its black. There’s a thing happening there.

- And also, lots of smiley Virgil when he goes purple. Brave enough to smile? Or optimistic enough to be truly happy about it?

- “Join me! No thinking!” Okay, all the ‘Roman Himbo’ stans have already gone nuts over this so I’ll keep going XD

- Roman’s first date idea is to go to France immediately and I love him for being so honestly over-the-top

- Dogs are the demons of anxiety its now a fact. They even bring out the Tempest Tongue, despite hearing the dog “thirty times a day”.

- Do not tell Virgil to relax. Black eyeshadow. Very on brand tbh. He does not relax and you should know this by now Roman.

All in all; I love them and the entire episode ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[game84cube]

A Paper Mario Game Idea

Okay, so Origami King looks great. The world is as expansive as ever and the humor and dialogue is on point as usual. But apparently the battle system is lacking because all you gotta do is move things around or have the crowd help you. Someone on YouTube gave me a great idea though. ThatOneShyGuy commented on DistantKingdom's review of Origami King that got the brain ticking. To paraphrase, they said cut the battle system and just stick to exploration and puzzle solving, the game's strengths in gameplay.

Idea!

It's so simple, honestly. Why not cut the battle system entirely if you're gonna forego RPG elements? Here's what you gotta do

A 3D Super Paper Mario style game. Puzzle solving, exploration, and world building would be the name of the game. Every nook and cranny could hide some treasure. It'll fully scratch that adventurer itch. Battles would happen in real time, and it would be just like Super does it, with some exceptions.

Of course fighting Goombas would be as simple as jumping on their heads or smacking them with your hammer. Those are easy. What about getting swarmed? What about tougher enemies that might need some strategy or some added firepower? What? About? Bosses?! Chill, pal. The game would have special moves and equipment, so it's more action RPG, rather than a turn based or a full platformer.

You'd have your basic equips, so upgrading your boots and hammer will return, as well as moves like the Ground Pound and Hammer Spin, again adding depth to combat, so you could knock an aerial foe down and stun it or swing an enemy into another one if your aim is good. The Badge system would return as well, though this would function like the Mario and Luigi version of Badges, where it's another equipment slot, rather than an exploitable amount of points. As usual different badges would yield different results, such as higher attack, defense, lucky hits being more common (because yes, lucky hits would return), adding elemental oomph to attacks, add running speed, the possibilities are endless. The other thing that could return for the actual special attacks? Item based specials...let me explain. Since the game would be based on exploring the world, finding items to attack with would be a no brainer. Don't think Sticker Star, but rather Partners in Time, where the items are what will limit your special attack usage. This adds frugality to the item management and makes them more needed for harder hoards of enemies or boss fights.

Now for the elephant in the room. Partners. Well, I did say it would be like Super Paper Mario, right? Let's get the main cast in as playable characters. Yes, even Bowser! Mario, Luigi, a Toad (most likely a high ranking Toad in the concubine or whatever) Peach, and Bowser. Why partners though? Easy. Playable combinations. Different character combos will yield different results. Mario and Luigi would be a classic, ideal combo and the set you most likely will have for a while, but every combo will have a fancy trick or two for exploration. Bowser grabbing Luigi and turning him into a shovel to dig up a hidden treasure or something. Adds some slapstick in there as well.

As for the bad guys? Well I'm either thinking some sort of Paper Mache enemy or like a Comic Book world. The story itself is tricky to come up with right away, but the gameplay is what I have so far.

So that's my big idea for the day. Now to shut my brain off and forget what certain two syllable words are.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

Characters © Frederator/Cartoon Network and so forth. Story ©2020 to me! All rights reserved.

This little fic was commissioned by MorbidHero. Enjoy! I'm not a superfan but I hope I still did the fandom justice, more or less. Even though there are no bacon pancakes or appearances from Billy.

Orono Or DIE.

The sign was unique enough to attract attention. That was probably the idea. Still, the girl with the long, black hair and the red-and-blue striped sweater seemed a little surprised when a car pulled over on the long, lonely stretch of Highway 95. Her eyes narrowed to slits as headlights attempted to blast the pupils wide, and she shadowed them with a pale hand.

"Hello!" cried a voice that sounded like a music box. "Are you in need of aid?"

"Uhhhh…" The squinting eyes shifted. "There a person in there?"

"Of course! I am a person! Please, it's too cold to be out here alone!"

The stranger approached the passenger window, bending down to look inside. By the light of the dash screen, she saw a rosy complexion and bright pink hair to match. The girl's round face held the sweetest, most angelic smile she had ever seen.

"I… whoa."

"Yes?"

"N-nothing. You're really gonna give me a lift? I could be an axe murderer."

The driver's eyebrows raised. "Are you an axe murderer?"

"Sorta." She opened her black guitar case, covered in stickers from all manner of bands and destinations, to display a red bass that actually was shaped like an axe, a snarky half-smile displaying some prominent canines. "I slay on this thing alllll the time."

"Oooh! A wandering minstrel! Prithee, do not tarry thither, but let us away in mine chariot!"

"I… huh?"

Cheeks turning a bit rosier, she whispered, "Just get in the car."

With her bass, cardboard sign, and knapsack stashed in the cramped back seat, the two pulled away from the shoulder and back onto the near-deserted highway. There reigned silence for a moment or two until the driver decided to attempt pleasant conversation.

"What's your name, minstrel?"

"Not Minstrel. Marcy. Or Marce, Marceline, Nightmarce… Elvira, if you're everybody in my high school."

"That sounds very unkind, and I am not from your high school so I will not do that." She smiled over at her. "I'm Bonnibel, or Bonnie."

"Cool. This, uh… this car seems weird."

"Oh!" she piped up animatedly. "It is a hybrid, but I have converted the combustion engine to run on used peanut oil."

"Is that why I have a craving for a PB&J out of nowhere?!"

Bonnie laughed, and Marcy wore a smile of her own. That was bizarre; why would she smile at some stranger who just picked her up to give her a lift? "Perhaps! It is also why I will eventually have to visit a Five Guys restaurant to refuel."

Chuckling quietly, Marcy fought down a groan as she struggled out of her black leather boots and propped her feet up on the dash. "Sorry, but I've been walking for hours. Nobody else would pick me up, except for this creepy trucker who would probably have murdered me. With my own axe."

"It is alright! I can't blame you, that sounds like a terrible day. How did you end up out here all by yourself? With no car?"

"Ash, ugh."

"Gesundheit?"

Rolling her eyes, Marcy explained, "No, Ash is my ex. Also the lead guitarist of our band, Vampire Queen. But like, he's been impossible since we broke up, and he threw his guitar at my head during our last show. I told him I wasn't riding in the van with him anymore and they took off without me. Jerkfaces."

Bonnie's expression was completely thunderstruck. She reached over to pat Marceline's thigh. "That is just unacceptable, you could have been hurt!"

"Uh… yeah?" She thought that was obvious. And the sudden physical contact made her squirm.

"No, I mean you should remove him from the band. He is clearly dangerous and you have every right to feel safe on the stage."

"Oh. Well… it's not that easy. He writes half our songs, and he's no great singer but he does know all the guitar parts already. But… I guess he's more replaceable than Fionna or Jake."

"You should send him to prison. Or castrate him," she added, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Which is what finally made Marceline realize neither of her hands were on the wheel. She sat up quick and shouted, "HEY, we're gonna crash! Are you insane?!"

"Hm?" Glancing ahead, she calmly stated, "No we aren't, we're driving perfectly straight. And there are no other cars."

"Well… yeah, but…" She watched their course correct very slightly, still glancing at Bonnie's hands. "Oh, is this one of those self-driving things?"

"Yes! Oh, I see; you thought I was neglecting the wheel." The pink-haired oddity giggled as if Marcy were the weird one.

"Do you just pick up random strangers and scare them to death? Messed up hobby, girl. I can respect it though."

At that, Bonnie's smile lessened as she stared ahead again. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget that not everyone has access to the technology I do. I didn't mean to cause you any undue strife."

"Not everybody swallows a dictionary for breakfast, either." When that wiped the smile away entirely, the rocker turned to look out the passenger window as she tightened her arms around her stomach. "Nah… I'm sorry, I'm a bitch."

The car was silent for a few seconds. "You aren't. I just don't spend a lot of time with other people. When I do, they tell me I am awkward."

"Yeah? Agoraphobic or something?" She paused. "Yeah, I know some big words, too."

"I never said you didn't. But no, that isn't the problem. I'm a workaholic. Even when I'm not in my lab, I'm still focused on inventing or revising previous inventions. I like speaking with people, but there never seems to be any time…"

"Dude, nerdslut. Got it."

"WHAT?!"

The outburst was harsher than Marce expected. "Sorry," she muttered, head ducking lower. "I didn't-"

"I'm not a slut! I'm…" Her cheeks began to glow. "I've never even been on a date."

"I was kidding, man. I didn't really mean…" Her fingers ran through her fringe. "Look, you told me you don't get out much. So I'll do my best not to tease you like I normally would, but no promises. I'm pretty edgy." She even threw up devil horns to add to the effect.

"You're teasing. Yes, I understand." The bubbly girl sighed and relaxed, smiling again. Apparently, it was that easy.

"What do you do for a living, anyway? All the inventing…"

"Oh! Have you heard of PeebleCo?"

A brief pause. "If I say 'no', does that mean I'm dumb?"

"It's alright. I am the president and CEO. Though the board members make most of the day-to-day decisions, they consult with me before making any large changes. And I am also the head of the R&D department."

"Whoa. And you're what, like, eighteen?"

"Nineteen."

"Excuse me," she snickered. "But yeah, that's pretty young to have your whole future figured out. I'm still kind of drifting through life in the shadows."

Bonnie shrugged as she pulled off the highway. "It is okay. I know I am strange, and that most people have to take some time to find their true destiny."

"Where… are we going?"

"To this hotel! I have been driving all day."

"Oh. Guess this is where I get off, then."

"It is if you want. Or you are welcome to share my hotel room and I will continue to ferry you to your destination in the morning."

Marceline raised an eyebrow as she watched Bonnie smoothly guide the car into a parking spot — having to use her hands this time, of course. "Are you totally insane, or just the nicest person on the planet?"

"Does it have to be one or the other?" she asked with a huge grin. And yet again, Marcy found she was grinning back.

                                                      ~ o ~

Once they had brought their bags inside, the hitchhiker plopped herself on the bed and kicked off her boots again. Then she started tuning her bass. Bonnie started unpacking her little pink rolling suitcase immediately, though she cast a casual glance over at her guest now and then.

"What? Am I bugging you?"

"Not at all. I have just never seen someone play a guitar in person before."

"Never?!" When the inventor shook her head, Marceline chuckled softly. "Damn, you really don't ever crawl out from under that rock to see what the sun looks like. Not that I do, either."

"It's because I'm working," she protested with a slight pout. "Not because I don't want to meet people. I love people!"

"Oh yeah, me too. They're delicious."

Bonnie cackled as she plugged her BMO's charger into the wall. At least she got that joke. "You're so funny and cool! I wish I was like you."

"No you don't, trust me. I'm kind of a cunt."

"Are you? Well, I think that's still preferable to being boring. I might have an important job but as a person, I am… vanilla pudding."

"Yeah? Well I mean, vanilla pudding can be pretty good. Add a little red food coloring to make people think you're eating ketchup? I like red things, they look more badass."

"Vanilla is not interesting," she sighed as she seated herself on the other twin bed, pulling off her Uggs. Marceline tried not to pay too much attention to how her white leggings hugged her shapely calves and thighs. "Being a vanilla pudding when there are so many chocolate puddings around me… that is why I focus on my work."

The hitchhiker thought that over as she played a couple of notes, a few chords she used in their sets. The hook from "Smoke On The Water", then the bassline from "The Chain".

"I think you're cool, Bonbon."

"You do?" she asked in pure shock. Marcy looked up — and immediately averted her eyes when she saw her company was wearing only her underwear.

"WHOA, hey, warn a girl or something!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she hissed, arms trying to hide parts of her body pointlessly. "The other girls in gym class never cared!"

Pale cheeks flooding with color, the rocker cleared her throat and studied the carpet, watching pale pink toes curl nervously into the fibers. "Gym, yeah. Um… I'm sorry, that was stupid. Me flipping out. If you're cool with stripping down in front of me, like… it's your hotel room…"

"No, you are right, it was my mistake. We have only just met today. And I am decent." When Marceline chanced another glance, she saw a long pink nightgown covering Bonnie from neck to ankle. She was also wearing an embarrassed little smile that was more adorable than it had any right to be.

"You're definitely decent."

"Jingo-jango!"

"Gesundheit?" she re-joked with a slight smirk.

"Free candy!" She practically pounced on the little mint laying on her pillow, unwrapping it and devouring it in mere seconds. "Mmmmhhh… oh, divine!"

The moans of pleasure definitely made Marcy have to clear her throat again. Desire was stirring within her in a way that blindsided her; Bonnie was a girl. One she had met literally that day! Was she losing it?! Sure, she had always known she liked girls as much as boys, but she had never really been serious about one.

"Marcy?"

"SHIT!" she gasped out when she saw those beautiful features only a couple of inches away from her own. It seemed Bonnie's concern had brought her over to the other bed. "I… what? I'm fine, you can go back to getting ready for bed or whatever."

"You are flushed. What if you have a fever, from being out in the cold too long?"

Then the bouncy inventor touched their foreheads together, to check her temperature. Marceline knew that was the reason… yet she still felt her heart speed up, her sweat glands stirring to life.

But she was no shrinking violet. Anti-social, sure, and inexperienced hitting on girls versus guys. But she figured she might as well give it a shot and see what happened.

"You give me fever," she began to sing in a smoky voice. Bonnie's concerned eyes shot wide. "Fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight."

A tiny whispered "What?" fell from small pink lips. And not even the oblivious shut-in could miss the rock star's meaning. "Me?"

After they held each other's gaze for a few more seconds, Marceline burst out with a chuckle and looked away, strumming her bass. "Couldn't resist. You're such a cute little marshmallow, it's too easy."

And that was that. Or so she thought. After she had played a few more notes and glanced up again, expecting that Bonnie would have rushed off to the bathroom by now, she saw she was being studied carefully.

"Sorry. Told you I'm a bitch."

"Why are you sorry? If you meant it… which you did…"

"Who says I did?" she grunted. "Hey-"

"I do," Bonnie told her in even tones as she finished pulling the guitar strap from around Marceline's neck. How could this awkward bean be so bold all of a sudden?! "You are blushing like I am blushing. That means you meant it, doesn't it?"

"No. It means… maybe I was out in the cold too long. Whatever."

Sighing like a patient teacher facing an obstinate student, Bonnie leaned over and took her lips gently. And poor Marcy felt her brain short-circuiting. This girl was going for it! How?! This girl?! Even more shameful was that it took three or four seconds for her to pull back from the kiss, panting and clutching at the bedspread.

"WHAT THE WHAT?!"

"Oh wow," Bonnibel whispered, reaching up to touch her own bottom lip with delicate fingers. "I did that."

"Yeah? Like, what, you're surprised you kissed somebody? That's fucking weird!"

"I am. I have never done it before, I didn't think it would be so easy. But I wasn't afraid like I expected to be, and I enjoyed the feeling."

One single fact kept Marcy from harping on about how bold of an assumption it was to kiss her out of nowhere. "Whoa, hold up. I'm really your first?"

"Yes," she breathed, cheeks warming to match Marceline's as she fidgeted with her fingers.

"That… amazing one you just planted on me was your first kiss?!"

Bonnie raised her eyebrows at her. "Oh, it was good?"

"Dude, I'm practically at full sail down here already!" When the hapless girl didn't seem to have any idea what she meant by that, she clarified, "Yes, it was good!"

"Oh. Then it was a successful experiment! Hooray!" Marceline just gaped at her open-mouthed. "We should do more experiments, I think."

"Yeah? What, you think I'm that easy?" she scoffed, trying to focus on reaching for her bass instead of blushing scarlet. But she barely touched the neck before firm hands were pinning her to the bed. "HEY!"

"You will assist me," the girl she had once mistaken for a marshmallow ordered her with a sly smirk.

Marceline finally understood that she had been hoodwinked. Well, not really; she believed this girl had no experience, but she had made the erroneous assumption that also meant she would be timid. Nope.

"I will? That's pretty interesting, I thought I got to decide that part."

"You do. But I already know you will decide to help me." Her hips started shifting on top of Marceline's, eyes briefly falling shut. "Mmm… mm?"

The rocker looked away, waiting for the backlash. Bracing to be shouted at, or called any number of names. She had been down that road before — most recently with Ash, who had no problem doing that to her but only when he was angry.

"You're a transgender person."

Stunned by the bluntness of the phrasing, she finally looked up to see nothing but surprise in Bonnie's features. No judgment, no disgust. "Um… yeah. Well, we prefer just 'trans'."

"Oh! 'Justrans' then." She shifted a few more times, prompting a little groan from both of them. "This will certainly make the experiment easier; I already know how to work with one of these from anatomy class."

Marcy knew she wasn't trying to be cruel. She could tell. But she still hissed up at her, "Can you like, not act like I'm some kind of sex slave robot? There's a real person with a real blackened soul down here."

With a little gasp, she covered her mouth. "Bloobalooby! I'm sorry, you're right." Her hips rolled again, sending a wave of heat down into the rocker from their point of contact, blinding her with pleasure. "Do you consent to experimenting with me sexually, and taking my virginity?"

Marceline could only sputter. And she almost told her 'no' simply because she was so shocked at the entire situation. But it was beginning to feel way too good. Why? Why did she want to?

"Sure. If you really don't care that I'm some problem you picked up off the side of the road."

"You are perfect." For just a second, Marcy felt a flutter in her stomach from such praise. Then Bonnie elaborated, "I'm comfortable with you, and I can tell that you are an adequate size to give me a wonderful first experience."

"Oh. That kind of 'perfect'. Right."

Genuinely puzzled, she tilted her head and asked, "What other kind is there?"

Instead of answering, Marceline pulled her down for a heated kiss. They kept that up while rolling around on the bed, running their fingers through each other's hair, humming into the contact. By the time they came up for air, she realized her sweater had disappeared.

"Can I see you?"

"Oh, is that going to help with the experiment?" Bonnie lowered her voice. "Am I… sexy?"

"Well, duh," she laughed as she dropped her jeans. But she fell speechless when she saw the shapely pink body coming into view. "I'm… yep. Definitely stand by my statement."

"I think you are sexy as well." But she was saying it shyly, as if stating a secret, rather than in a flirty way. This girl really didn't understand human sexuality but she was trying her best.

Weird but cute. And her face was glowing red like a stoplight… and Marceline liked red things.

They fell into each other with eagerness, kissing all over faces and necks as their bodies combined. Bonnibel was so soft inside, and her skin smelled like flowers. The little gasps and mewlings at the foreign sensations only made Marcy throb harder, willed her hips to begin moving.

Minutes later, she broke yet another kiss to whisper urgently, "I'm… I'm gonna finish, I d-don't have… a condom…"

"I'm on birth control, to regulate my cycle. I will not become pregnant." But she was biting her lip. The sensations had changed how she reacted. "Will you…? Please?"

She would. Moans fell freely from both of them as their bodies shifted faster and faster, until the dam burst and Marceline felt both their bodies convulsing with the proof of their pleasure. It was an instant, it was an eternity. It was everything.

As they lay curled up together, silence reigned for a few minutes. Experiment complete. Neither of the new quite what to say. Until finally Bonnie whispered, "You sang."

"Huh?"

"When you ejaculated. It was like singing." She closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips as her hand drifted up to cover her own heart. "It was so sweet…"

Marceline scoffed, resisting the temptation to roll over and away to protect her own feelings. "N-no way. I don't do 'sweet', you're loopy. Literally fucked your brains out."

"No, my brains are still intact," she teased with a light chuckle as she began to draw little circles on Marcy's pale shoulder. "And you sang. And I am very, very satisfied with your 'axe'."

That prompted a gleeful giggle from both women. "Told you. I slay all day, Bonnie-bae."

                                                      THE END

[oghoneytryst]

I got Aphrodite in many greek gods/goddess quizzes, so i was just wondering... which one direction member do you think is which god/goddess? Including Zayn. 🙂

this is such a precious ask. I don’t know too much about greek gods and goddesses so I had to do a lot some research to answer this question as accurately as possible from my eyes. this might be totally wrong, but here’s what I think…

ONE DIRECTION AS GREEK GODS/GODDESSES 

Louis as Dionysus, god of wine, winemaking, grape cultivation, fertility, ritual madness, theatre, and religious ecstasy. Earlier images of Dionysus represent him as a mature, bearded male, but can also be a beardless, androgynous youth.

I think he can go either way. Louis is the oldest of 1d, so he can be seen (especially nowadays) as the most mature by default. However, he does have a lot of youthful qualities, childlike even. Around 2010-2012, he could usually be seen as the most energetic and the one who acted more childish in a funny way. As for the androgynous part, though he’s not the most feminine of 1d, I do think that he’s very capable of it, probably in his private moments that we don’t see.

Dionysus was also represented as a god of chaos and the protector of misfits. To me, this screams Louis Tomlinson. He’s very chaotic, but in a good way. He’s the party animal out of all of them, flashes his rebellious™ middle finger every chance he gets, and he’s said it himself: he’s not very good at biting his tongue.

lets just ignore zayn’s tweet thanks

I also wanted to add the good ol’ that’s your fookin job, u fookin losah. but there are no gifs that I could find :/ but yes, you’ve seen him with the paparazzi. he hates them, and he’ll never miss an opportunity to tell them to fuck off or mess with them a bit.

Dionysus is also the god of theatre. Louis did theatre in school. here’s him portraying Danny from Grease.

Niall as Apollo, the god of music, poetry art, oracles, archery, plague, medicine, sun, light, and knowledge (this is the general idea, different websites say it differently). Apollo can be represented as beardless, athletic, and youthful. While Niall nowadays is sporting a manly scruff, we all know the Niall we all fell in love with.

FURTHERMORE, that blonde hair??? Tell me it’s not as bright as the sun. I dare u. He may not be the youngest member of 1d, but he was sometimes portrayed as such. I recall an ot5 interview where they were asked to sort themselves as the Spice Girls. Guess who was baby spice??? (Liam knows)

In general, Niall’s personality just radiates big sun energy. I know LT is mostly considered the sun (tiny son) but sorry bby, make way for Niall. He’s always been super infectious with his laughter, and let’s not forget oh no Niall!

As far as knowledge and healing goes, I think Flicker really gave us a HUGE glimpse into Niall James Horan. That album and song in general is just the definition of sadness, written by someone who’s clearly been through so much heartache but now knows the ups and downs of life and love. I think it also gave him and others the opportunity to heal by admitting and accepting this heartache.

Finally, music. we don’t have to doubt Niall’s talent. While the other members of 1d have expanded their musical abilities, Niall was usually known as the guitar player of 1d and did so on tour. Apollo, on the other hand, had his lyre become a known attribute for him. Stringed-instrument buddies? Signs point to yes.

Harry as Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. Aphrodite can be represented as beautiful, so much that the gods believed that her beauty was the cause of a war sparked of the gods – because of their rivalry against each other for her. (this is not just me being headass for harry, I’m sorry he’s so fuckin beautiful, I don’t make the rules)

wow it was really hard trying to pick just one picture

Aphrodite created wars, on her own and because of the gods fighting over her beauty. Though we know Harry would never do this, he is also extremely loved by a variety of different people. An example I have is when #1000DaysWithout1D and #1000DaysofSoloHarry were trending on the same day. Both sides were trying to prove their love and support, but it caused a bit of a strife without Harry even directly causing it. There are other examples, but despite this, H still spreads constant love and kindness.

Aphrodite is also depicted as naked or semi-nude. Let me reintroduce u to this 16-year-old boy:

and here, while we’re at it, here’s grown up harry being the same exact mf that gets naked all the time AND his stage presence is just so sexual y’all, Aphrodite would be proud.

I know I’m making harry’s too long but I just wanted to point out that some of Aphrodite’s symbols are a Dove, Rose, and Sparrow. I connected the Dove with him being an Aquarius, an air sign. And well, his bird tattoos are swallows but they often get confused with Sparrows. u already know about the rose tattoo AND the rose ring.

Liam as Zeus, god of the sky, weather, thunder, lightning, law, order, and justice. Not gonna lie, Liam was a hard one, and Zeus is a big role to give him. But let’s break it down: Zeus is seen as a strong, very imposing figure with a regal body and curly hair. ok but remember his 2011 hair? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Zeus is also seen as the “Father” of all gods. We all know Liam’s a father, but this also makes me think of daddy directioner / Payne before daddy was forever tainted by our dirty ass minds from the early 1d days. Liam was always known for that, as he was the one to keep the boys settled down.

he tucked them all into bed.

on top of this, Zeus was described as a god who brought peace in a place of violence. Having the role of daddy direction, Liam can’t forget all of his children. Not only does Liam has multiple playlists with songs from ALL of the other 1d boys, but he’s really the only one to still include Zayn and talk about him from a place of I-still-really-love-you-and-i-always-will. He’s also the one still feeding us with 1d content tbh.

Zayn as Athena, goddess of wisdom, war, and crafts. Athena appears to be tall, slim, bluish-green eyes, and golden hair or black hair. You’re all aware of Zayn’s jet black hair, but who can forget the times he dyes it blond?

Let’s just get war out of the way. The only way I can really explain this is march 25, 2015 and any event with Zayn and 1D leading up to it. Zayn leaving the band causes disputes about whether people want him back or not, whether people are angry or understanding because of his mental health. Either way, he tends to speak out about 1d in a negative manner sometimes, which obviously doesn’t sit right with a lot of people. and he’s a goddamn liar if he’s saying him and harry never talked.

he’s also just a straight up savage either way we love us some z.

Athena is also the goddess of arts and crafts. Zayn is known to be very creative and artistic. He drew the stickers that came with the yearbook edition of Up All Night. During 1DDay, he had a whole segment of him just being an adorable lil bitch and spray painting the walls, and in this is us, he talked about how he literally bought his own house so that he could paint the walls. And then there’s the time he drew Alan Carr in a few minutes or so. needless to say, his tattoos aren’t his only association with art.

Athena was also associated with the Snake but lets not

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

For Barbmura prompts, AU where Barbara is a single mother of a young half-troll Jim and Nomura is his changeling elementary school teacher. Jim desperately tries to hook them up.

First, an explanation.  I received a total of 4 Barbmura prompts and, while brainstorming possible ideas for them, I realized they could be fit together into one bigger story.  So, rather than write four separate short stories, I’ve decided to write a single multi-chapter story where each chapter answers one of the prompts.  In total it will be 5 chapters (1 for each prompt and a final wrap up chapter of my choosing).

(also I’ve never written an actual multi-chapter barbmura story before and couldn’t resist passing up this opportunity so there’s that)

Some Might Call It True Love

Chapter 1: Jim the Matchmaker

It was logic.  Really.  It was.  Jim didn’t want another Dad cause dads sucked.  Ergo, it made perfect sense that if he was going to have another parent, it would have to be another Mom (cause Jim loved his mom, she was great).  The only question was who.

The answer came on the first day of the new school year.  Jim had been nervous about meeting his new teacher right up until the moment he saw her for the first time.  People tended to react not-so-well to him.  The best ones just asked some questions (what was wrong with him anyway?  Was he born like that?  Weird.) that Jim never liked but his Mom always answered politely through a smile that could very easily twist into a grimace.  The worst treated him like he was some sort of fascinating thing that existed for their entertainment (oh, look at the little guy, isn’t he adorable?  Can I get a picture with him?).  Jim tended to hide behind his mom from those ones (when he was little) or scowl at them (now that he was older).  Teachers were not excluded from these categories, though they tended to fall somewhere in the middle.

Experience had taught Jim that meeting a New Person was an anxiety-inducing event, especially if that someone was a teacher who he’d have to see Every Single Day.  So, when he nervously walked into school for the first day of third grade and saw his new teacher, Ms. Nomura, for the first time, he’d been happy.  Very, very happy.

Ms. Nomura was like him.

She was a troll.  Ok, a changeling, but all that meant was that she could shapeshift into a human form if she wanted to.  Anyway, Jim wasn’t a full troll either since Mom was a human, so they really were similar.  In a move that had surprised everyone, Jim had hugged his new teacher.

That, however, hadn’t been enough to get her to be his New Second Mom, which was somewhat disappointing.  But it was okay, Jim had just realized that Ms. Nomura was The One.  It was gonna happen.  Eventually.

After two days, he got tired of waiting for it to happen on its own.  Plus, Ms. Nomura and his mom barely spent time together (they spent like no time together ever except at the end of the day for like two seconds when Jim’s mom came to pick him up).  So, Jim decided this must be like one of those task things he’d get a gold star sticker on the big poster at the back of the classroom for if he did.  A quest.

“I think,” he told his new best friend, Toby, one day while working on an arts and crafts project, “My mom and Ms. Nomura are supposed to be in love, like a fairy tale.”

“Really?”  Tobes was interested in less than a second.  Ever since he’d gone on an enthusiastic rant the first day of school, Jim had known he loved fantasy and magic.  Ergo, Tobes was the best person to help him in his quest.  Also, he was Jim’s Best Friend Forever and Jim would choose absolutely no one else for the task.

“But we gotta get them together ourselves cause they aren’t doing anything about it.”

“Thank you for coming in on such short notice.”  Nomura let Jim’s mom, Barbara, into her classroom.  “I hope we can find a solution to our, uh, little problem.”

Barbara sighed.  “You mean the fact my son seems determined to matchmake us?”

“Well, yes.  That.”  Nomura sat down behind her desk.  In the beginning it had been understandable, and almost cute.  As a half-troll, Jim didn’t have many adults to look up to who had an appearance remotely similar to his own.  So his fixation on her, a changeling, made sense.  However, his attempts to have her and his mom get together, arguably to have her take on a more parental role in his life, had quickly gone from minor things like making her valentine’s cards “from Barbara” to leading the entire class in a mission to trap them in the supplies closet together and refuse to let them out until they realized it was ‘True Love’.

It was almost scary how easily her students could forget their petty squabbles and work together efficiently toward a common goal when properly motivated.  Now, if only she could get them to do that when it was literally anything other than ‘True Love’.

“I don’t suppose you have any ideas?”  Barbara asked.  “I’ve tried talking to Jim, but he’s, ah, very determined.”  She winced.  “Sorry.”  

Nomura frowned.  “As his mother, I was hoping you did.”  She straightened her schedule book on her desk.  “Not that I blame you for any of this, ” she hastily added.  “Does he do this sort of thing often?”

“No.  No, this is a first for Jim.”  Barbara sat down in the chair opposite Nomura.  She rubbed her temples with her hands.  “Generally, he doesn’t like it when I date.  The last time I did, he protested until I broke it off with the guy.”  She shrugged at Nomura’s questioning expression.  “What?  I’m not just going to continue dating a guy my kid hates.”

“That’s fine.”  Nomura said.  “But I’m curious now as to why he’d try to get us together if you like—”

“Oh, I’m bisexual.”  Barbara interrupted her.  “I explained it to Jim a year or two ago for Pride.  He’s sort of assumed it means I can fall in love with everyone, which I suppose is true in a way, but I wasn’t really expecting him to take it to this point.”  She paused.  “Are you…?”

“I’m gay,” Nomura clarified.  “But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t spread that info around.  Some of the parents here aren’t exactly open to such things.”

“Trust me, I won’t.”

There was a moment of silence where both women were thinking.  Then, Nomura said, “I have an idea.”  When Barbara looked at her, she continued, “You can veto this if it makes you uncomfortable.  But since Jim is determined to see us together, I think it’s worth a shot.  We could go on a date.  A pretend date.  Let him think he’s finally gotten us together.  Then, when it doesn’t “work out” between us, we could use it as a learning experience that sometimes things don’t always go the way he wants.”

Barbara mused on the idea.  “I like it.  Knowing Jim, it just might work too.”  With a wry grin, she added, “So are you free this Friday night?”

“Pick me up around 8?”  Nomura answered.

“I did an appendectomy for the owner of a local, romantic restaurant a while back so I can probably get us a reservation on short notice.”  Barbara took out her phone.  “Can I have your number so I can call you later with the details?”

“Sure.”  Nomura took out her own.  “And call me ‘Zelda’ now.  If we’re doing this, we’re going to have to be convincing.”

“Alright, Zelda.”  Barbara handed over her phone so Nomura could add in her number.  “I’m looking forward to seeing you this Friday.”

“Likewise.”

It was a simple plan, really.  With very few ways for it to go wrong.

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

[jungblue]

splinter (m)

» pairing: jungkook x reader

» genre: angst, non-explicit smut / college au

» word count: 6,518

» description: Perhaps in their last moments together, the pieces won’t seem so broken. That maybe even with their jaded hearts they can salvage some replica of what it all once was. 

» note: there are mentions of cheating in this story

People love to talk about the ‘what ifs.’

What if they had just kept going, what if they had chosen a different path, what if things had just gone the way they had so desperately wanted them to? Humans torture themselves with these thoughts, all while urgently grappling at the threads of their memories that led to the fork in the road where things went awry. They ponder them tirelessly, wondering if they could’ve done something different, only to realize in the end that it didn’t matter because what was done was done. It was that simple, yet again, people still loved to talk, ponder, and torture themselves with the possibility of what if — However, in your personal experience, there was something much worse.

There was a sub-group of sorts to the what-ifs, called the ‘almosts.’ Almosts are burning flames of misery because they tease you by getting so heartbreakingly close to what you wanted. They were in your reach, resting on the tip of your tongue, only to dissipate before you could swallow it down and make it yours.

So yeah, you weren’t a fan of the-almosts. But what you were even less keen on was being in the same room as your almost, the thread of memories making the air thick as it wrapped its way around your throat.

Because perhaps buried deep within the thumping bass, spilled liquor, and dimmed lights of every college party, you might just be able to find yourself a love story… Of course, it might not be perfect, far from perfect actually, but really what love story ever is? However, at that age, or more specifically at that time in someone’s life, mistakes seem to be abundant. The factors are endless, so plentiful in fact that they pile on top of one another until this supposed love story — splinters.  

The fragments lay in a million pieces, each one telling their own little story of how it all ended.

Laid strewn at the forefront of that pile of broken pieces was the shard branded hormones. Those vibrant sensations that make your vision go blurry and judgment turn haywire. Those pesky little things that when mixed with alcohol make you forget all about that guy or girl you’re really into… That guy or girl that you’ve been dating for three months — that guy or girl that deserved way better than a fresh out of high school kid that didn’t know how to handle their fireball mixed with an empty bedroom upstairs at a party.  

Next is that gleaming shard of freedom. It burns bright. The second you step foot onto that college campus miles upon miles away from people telling you what to do, how to act, or where to stay, your tolerance for limitations shifts. Being held down to any given place, any given idea, or any given person, it causes a flight response. The body wanting to maintain its newfound freedom, relieving itself of the hindrance to their fresh independence. Plus, having the ability to run from your problems without a choir to comment isn’t exactly helpful either. So combine all of that, and maybe it results in some runaway act of studying abroad for a semester to convolute the feelings of guilt and love with culture shock and ample amounts of bodies… Yeah, that definitely puts a pause on things.  

Another piece laying sound in the graveyard is that dingy, jagged shard reflecting the uncertainty of the future. That constant pressure that bombards you saying: if you haven’t made a dent in the path towards your goal by the time you’re twenty-five then you’re falling behind. This reality (even if it is false) sets in maybe three years down the line. Tailgating loses its taste, the library becomes your home even more so than it had been before, and your time for connections and relationships downsizes to the point of not even trying… Not even trying when that guy or girl is really making an attempt to reconcile with you, and even though your heart wants it, your millennial mind says there’s no time for that now, at least nothing serious — maybe after medical school, because somewhere along the line our lives turned into planning how much fun our lives will be once X, Y, and Z happens some odd years down the road.

It’s these, along with many other fragments, that lay in a messy array around the relationship. Some are tiny and seemingly insignificant pieces, however once the micro aggressions start to build, they inevitably become one larger section of the puzzle. Some of the remains are large and shiny, others dirty and defiled. It’s all a shattered mess of emotions and incidents, but if you can somehow manage to pick up the pieces and realign the edges, then just maybe you can still see the beauty in what it all once was.

— Or at the very least, that was what seemed to be happening in the back corner of that one college party with thumping bass, spilled liquor, and dimmed lights, where imperfect love stories sometimes go to simmer or just maybe rekindle.

He was posted over your body, drinks in hand as you both tentatively sipped at the poison. Jungle juice flowed comfortably in your veins until in the slight halo, the two of you could see the shadows of what you once were four years ago when you had first met in the backyard of (again) some college party from freshman year. And maybe if you both squinted, you could try and pretend like you weren’t able to see the wear and tear that all of the lying, cheating, running, and just plain fuckery the fruits of your immature years had done to one another.  

“But really, how’ve you been?” He asked a few minutes into the conversation, biting nervously at the rim of his plastic cup.

He was biting nervously because what he really wanted to ask was something along the lines of: How have you been since I told you I still loved you eight months ago and you shut me down because even though you did want to be with me again, you also apparently got a B and C in anatomy and microbio while we were going through our shit, and that was I guess a disastrous blow to your ten year plan?

“I’ve… I’ve been,” You settled on with a fake laugh of sorts because even the false oasis of alcohol couldn’t seem to wash your worries away completely.

It was a fake laugh of sorts because what you really wanted to say was something along the lines of: I’ve been pretty shit and unhappy since I told you I couldn’t get back together with you eight months ago even though I was still really in love with you, and even though honestly I shouldn’t have been after everything we’ve fucked up on.

Jungkook simply snorted in response. “Same.”

“It really has been a while though. Haven’t really seen you out — well I haven’t really been out, so that’s probably why.”

The past few months had been some of the most stressful of your entire life. No time for fun or distractions, which was the reason for your cop out of an excuse to Jungkook back then: It’s just not good timing for us right now. Or just in general, you would now add after having months to sleep on the conversation.

“No, I haven’t really been going out lately either. Just in a mood, y’know?” He shrugged, sipping his drink to hide the downward turn of his lips.

“Jeon Jungkook, moody? Never would’ve guessed,” You teased from behind your cup to try and lighten the tension, with a glint in your eye, giving the go ahead for the atmosphere to shift. You smiled, he followed, removing his arms from across his chest to show that his guard was lowering, even if only slightly.

“Okay, I admit I can be a bit moody.”

“A bit?” You scoffed playfully. “You sulked for literally an entire week when I accidentally broke your charger that one time, remember?”

“Listen,” He grinned, shifting positions of leaning in slightly more to combat the noise of the party. “I had that charger for like three years, and it had all of these iron man stickers on it from my high school girlfriend. The sentimental value of that charger was top fucking notch.”

“Oh my god,” You chuckled, batting at his chest. “Want me to get you a new one then, so one day when your wife accidentally breaks it you can be sulky and say your college girlfriend gave it to you? Go all sentimental on her ass too.”

“I know you’re mocking me, but yes actually, I would very much like that,” He admitted.

“So I can start you on your way to a freaky ex-girlfriend iron man phone charger collection? I think I’ll have to pass. Guess you’ll just have to find another way to remember me by once the years start to fade that pretty memory of yours.” You tapped playfully at his temple.

Jungkook paused for a moment, a small one, but a pause nonetheless. His tongue running quickly over his teeth as if to give himself a moment to think about whether he should say the words already curling in his lungs — In the end, with the help of light traces of alcohol, the nearing future of more than likely never seeing each other again, and the remaining drops of love flowing through his veins for you, he decided to just go for it.

“Trust me, I’m not gonna need anything extra to remember you by. You’ve made it really easy all on your own.”

You faltered for a moment, that sudden lurch in your chest sending signals to every inch of your body to remind you of just how easy it’s always been to fall back into things with Jungkook. Not sure of how exactly to respond, you laughed, dropping your head slightly as you tapped nervously at your cup.

“Moody sentimentalist meets flirt. It’s quite a trifecta.”

Now you were trying to act stoic, to not let those fuzzy feelings worm their way into the forefront of this conversation that you probably shouldn’t even be having in the first place. You knew better than anyone that all it took was a few slick words or a certain glint from those shiny doe eyes, and your heart would bleed rivers for him. Already, after maybe ten short minutes of simple, light-hearted conversation, you wanted to bask in his entire being. The deprivation of not seeing him for so long, making the relapse all the more tempting.

Jungkook picked up on the change. The slight waver in body language, the tightness of your words, and the nervous tick as you played with the ends of your hair. But your eyes were still staring back at him. They were the same eyes that stared back at him when he’d first met you all of those years ago, making him want to grasp onto anything to remind him of how simple things were in those first few months of meeting one another.

It was late fall and you were shivering outside of this house party that you both managed to end up at. He told you back then that if you stood by this tall ledge of bricks that it would block the wind — Jungkook himself happened to be standing by that particular ledge of bricks. You joined him, and after that things escalated more quickly than either of you intended it to.

Of course, that was a long time ago, but it was the shard of glass in the mirror that started this entire thing, and so he can only reflect on it fondly, even if heavy amounts of pain followed because of it. It was for this reason that even though Jungkook knew he should swallow his words down, save himself from tasting what it was like to be with you once more… But in the end, he just couldn’t.

“Well, I’m a moody sentimentalist meets flirt that’s still really in love with you,” He shrugged. “It’s just in my nature, so what can I do when you’re right here in front of me and moving away soon?”

He shrugged — fucking shrugged as if he’d just told you that he didn’t know which way the goddamn bathroom was, not that he was still in love with you.

He regretted saying it for all of three seconds. He knew that maybe it wasn’t exactly fair to tell you so bluntly when the two of you were having such a casual conversation, and when the most you’ve interacted in the last eight months was through a few simple snaps. But you were moving hundreds of miles away next week to get settled into your new city before you had to drown yourself in medical school. And he only knew that much because of the picture you posted on your story a few days ago. Other than that, if not for the coincidence of showing up at the same party… He might’ve never seen you again. So maybe that thought alone had his judgment turning a bit cloudy.

However, you weren’t even surprised to hear the words as they rolled past his teeth.  Instead, you simply ran your tongue against the inside of your cheek, a breathy sigh escaping your throat in defeat as you reached out between the small space separating your bodies. Your fingers picked lightly at the fabric of Jungkook’s t-shirt, gingerly pressing against the muscle that hid beneath.  

Your eyes flitted upward, apprehension seeping into your lungs. “Why?”

“Why?” He asked. “Do you mean why do I love you, or why am I a moody, flirty, sentimental… Whatever? Because honestly, they’re both pretty simple. It just… Is.”

His nervous laughter followed. Immediately its vibrations traveled between the particles of dust in the air and straight into your bloodstream, where it festered and grew in a matter of seconds, every part of you wanting to relive the experience of simply being with him — even if it was only one more time.

You sighed deeply, so completely aware of the fact that you shouldn’t do this, but deciding against it anyway. “Come on,” You whispered in defeat, dropping your hand to interlock with his.

Jungkook smiled, knowing all too well that this ending was inevitable whenever the two of you were together. “Any place in mind?” He asked.                                                                                                                                                            

You weaved yourselves around the masses of bodies, familiar faces of friends giving the two of you knowing looks as you made your way through the front door together. “Some place where you can be moody, flirty, sentimental, or whatever the hell else, with your hands all over me.”

--

In the end that place turned out to be lying flat against Jungkook’s bed, his head buried between your legs, the dig of his fingers steadying the quiver of your thighs.

“Fuck, fuck — ahh. R-right there,” You rasped, your heels pressing harshly into his back, willing him to stay in place.

“Feel good?” He murmured between timely strokes of his tongue.

“Yes, so good. Please keep going.”

It had only been a couple of minutes and you already sounded fucking wrecked. Your voice echoed across the walls as your hands gripped at the sheets, Jungkook finding that perfect spot and pace that he seemingly only knew how to entertain.

Jungkook however had to ruin the moment, because again you were leaving, and so he just couldn’t help himself from asking that burning question that he knew had no correct answer, and was simply his hurt ego coming out to play.

“Better than that dude you cheated on me with freshman year? What was his name? Yoongi or some shit?”

The familiar and bitter hostility rang in his voice, pausing his movements between your thighs as he glanced up at you, arousal dripping down his lips.

“Please, not this again.” You sighed, glancing down as he stared up at you through eyes mixed with the lust of the moment and the hurt of the past. “It was three and a half years ago. I’ve apologized so many fucking times. Trust me, I regret it. I regret it so much.”

Jungkook’s lips tilted into a somber sideways frown. His eyes darted away as he tried to forget the memory, the betrayal, those words that his friend whispered to him the next day saying: “Hey… I was at this party last night, and I saw Y/N go upstairs with some guy. You might wanna ask her about it.”

His head fell in defeat against your hip, a heavy breath scattering across the skin. The skin that he wished he could’ve caressed and held more than he had actually been able to in the past four years of knowing you.

Seeing the sudden change in Jungkook felt like a punch to your gut. It was your fault he was like this. You and your stupid goddamn hormones. A green college kid that thought in the midst of a comfortable buzz that you shouldn’t be tied down the second you finally get your freedom. You were a selfish idiot that, back then, just wasn’t aware of the world and how much such a small action can hurt someone for so long.

“C’mere,” You whispered, pulling at his arm until he was laying over you, eyes glassy with way too many emotions to even process.

“Look… I didn’t mean to make this awkward.” He bit at his bottom lip, tugging at his hair to try and distract himself from what he was actually saying. “I really wanted to just be with you one last time before you left. In any way that you’d let me. But it’s just hitting me that you’re really leaving, and everything is just flooding back, and I’m not gonna lie, it hurts. It really fucking hurts.”

The words made your eyes sting. The reality so much more frightening when you realize what it all actually means.

“No, you’re fine. I get it,” You assured him as your thumb ran along the underside of his jaw in some small attempt to comfort him. Your memories running wild with so much guilt. “I really fucked us up didn’t I?”

“We both fucked up, Y/N. Sure, you did it first, but we both have done shit we regret.”

“Yeah, but I just can’t help but think that maybe if I hadn’t cheated on you, then none of that other stuff ever would’ve happened. That right now, instead of basically having a goodbye fuck, we’d be talking about how to make long distance work. It just really gets to me, that some stupid mistake when I was eighteen ruined something that really could’ve worked — something that really could’ve been great.” Your eyes watered but you quickly blinked the tears away. The sudden rush of anxiety and self-distaste concocting violently in your chest.

“Hey, hey,” Jungkook whispered softly. “Don’t do that to yourself. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” His hand rubbed soothing circles along your thigh, the feelings of blame dulling slightly, but not by much. “Trust me, I think about that a lot too, but it was my choice, my fucked up decision to have that get-back-at-you, fucked up mentality once we got back together. I slept with that girl out of spite so you could feel the hurt, and that wasn’t right of me either. We were both stupid kids, so don’t blame everything on yourself.”

“But I really hurt y-you—” That first crack in your voice was quickly followed by the first tear, and you quickly wiped it away so you could get through this before you became an incoherent mess. “All of your relationships since ours haven’t worked out because of me. You don’t trust them, and all because I fucked up your ability to trust in the first place. I just…” You trailed off, your words becoming more broken by with each passing word.

“Fucking Jimin,” Jungkook cursed beneath his breath. “He’s been talking to you?”

You nodded, using the cuffs of your sleeves to dab at your eyes. “He’s just worried that you always seem to self-destruct your relationships. He said that you were dating this girl last year and that you seemed to really like her, but you cheated on her out of the blue. He thinks your trust issues are just really fucking up things that could be really good for you.” You bit down on the inside of your cheek, forcing down a sob. “And I just really think that’s my fault.”

“No, it’s okay.” He leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to the side of your jaw. “I admit, I’m more cynical about relationships now than I was before that entire thing with us happened, but I’m an adult. It’s all me. I hurt you, you hurt me, and I’ve hurt a lot of others trying to figure out how to get over that, but that’s all on me. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

At this point, the tears were pouring in waves. “God, why were we so stupid?” You asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him forward. Both of you basking in this moment of finality that neither of you really wanted to acknowledge.

“Y’know, sometimes I think that maybe if I hadn’t gone to study abroad to literally fuck a semester away, that we might’ve been able to work everything out. That when I asked you to get back together with me last year, that maybe you would’ve said yes, because by then we would’ve talked more than a few drunk, passive aggressive texts to you saying how much fun I was having in Italy,” He paused, taking a moment to remember his immaturity. “You’re not the only one with regrets, seriously.”

You laughed, the sting and burn of that time still staining your throat with bile. “Oh yeah, don’t forget the snaps with the hordes of girls placed conveniently in the background.”

He dropped his head in shame, his hand blindingly searching to link up with yours. “I was a petty asshole, and I honestly never apologized for that, so I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I think we both didn’t deserve a lot of things, but maybe that made us grow or something.” You shrugged, tightening your grip on his hand.

“Did you hear that on some shitty relationships podcast?” Jungkook asked with a warm smile, remembering how much you used to love listening to those things.

You battled him playfully on the shoulder. “Okay, sure it’s cheesy, but I think it holds some weight. I mean, if we hadn’t gone through all that, I never would’ve understood how nothing is as black and white as it seems when you’re just imagining what you would do in a situation.”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed a bit with curiosity. “Please, elaborate.”

“Like, I guess it’s easy for someone to think that they’d never stay with someone that cheated on them, or even actually cheat themselves when they’re sort of just picturing it in their heads. But once it actually happens, you learn that it’s not as easy to just end it. That you’ve invested all of these feelings into someone that you really did trust, and now you’re just supposed to end it all of a sudden? No questions or exceptions? I mean, sure for some that’s easy to do, but I think for most, they’ll take a second to even just consider that maybe it was a stupid mistake… Sort of like you did for me.”

You tried to form some semblance of a sad, thankful smile, but it quickly crumbled, more tears falling with it. Jungkook’s hand quickly coming to catch them.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. When I thought about the idea of someone cheating on me, I kind of just thought I’d say fuck her and move on. But I also sort of thought I’d have better judgment than to fall for someone that would cheat on me.”

That stung, but it was the truth.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Your head dropped down, avoiding his glances.  

“But,” He started, pulling your chin to face him again. “I also thought I’d never be the type of person to cheat, but I have. It made me feel like the biggest piece of shit alive, but I still did it. It���s awful and disgusting to do that to someone. It fucks them up in unfair ways, and I know this because I felt that exact way after you cheated on me, and yet… I still did that back to you when I gave you another chance — hell, I did that to some nice, amazing girl that’d never given me a reason not to trust her. So yeah, I guess you’re right. Even though we put each other through hell, we learned a lot because of it. Things are just gray sometimes.”

Seeing the gray can be humbling. You’ll remember that time when you were in high school and judged your friend for getting back together with her boyfriend after he cheated, and realize how ignorant that was on your part. That maybe when you’re that young and weighed down by the mentality that you are in fact young, it sometimes causes mistakes to erupt. In the end, you realize that not one set of rules can be applied to every situation. The shades between white and black are endless, the circumstances between right and wrong are infinite, and there’s certainly no answer to suit all of them.

“What do you think is better? Living in ignorance or being jaded?” You asked after a few seconds of letting Jungkook’s words settle.

He tilted his head from side to side, letting himself think before finally answering. “I’m not sure to be honest. I mean, living ignorant in terms of relationships sounds nice in theory. You think if they cheat I’ll leave, if they disrespect me I’ll leave, if I’m just not happy anymore I’ll leave. It would be nice if things were actually that simple… But I just don’t think any relationship is perfect enough to hold to that standard,” He shrugged, sort of like he had given up on the idea of that flawless sort of love.

“Maybe you’re just too jaded,” You smiled, running your fingers through his hair.

He laughed through his nose. “Yeah, probably.”

“But I guess I think the same. I mean, even for the opposite it’s true. Like you said, in theory if you love someone then you’ll be with them, but that’s not always the case… Life gets in the way sometimes.” The words came out as sort of a whisper, your eyes darting to and away from Jungkook, but he still managed to see the sliver of projection you had cast into your words.

“Talking about… Any person specifically?” He asked cautiously while still leaning closer to where his lips were almost brushing against yours.  

You felt your heart thunder inside of your chest. The blood rattled your ears, every passing second sending a flash flood of sensations. Buried within that, the memories of four years reflected back. The hate, the anger, the bitterness, the resentment. The passion, the happiness, the comfort, the bliss. It was this clash of emotions, so fierce and so wild. However, even with the bad so daunting and unforgiving, it was the good that allowed you to remember how much things had changed. How you don’t hold disdain so close to your heart, and instead you carry fondness of what it has permitted you to become.

“I love you.” The pure curve of your lips tilted upwards, letting the words slip out in the most unapologetic of ways. Every syllable cherished and branded across both of your pessimistic hearts.

Jungkook felt the words like a punch to his gut. It was so physically responsive as it stole the air from his lungs. The bitter burn of knowing that you were only saying it because you knew that it wouldn’t change anything. The lingering singe that was still embedded in his blood from when he uttered those exact words to you eight months ago, and you told him that you just couldn’t do it again.  

He kissed you as if it were the last time, and that was because it most likely was. He moved with purpose, his hands pinning your shoulders back, the light gasp before you became pliant beneath him making his ears ring. His lips ran across your skin as if to memorize every inch. He thought that maybe a few months from now when he hit that inevitable lull of realization that it was really, really over, he would be able to bring up the map of your body that he traced tonight. Maybe it would somehow dull the ache, knowing that at least it happened. No matter how broken or fucked up, at least it was real.

You felt his emotions so vividly, but maybe that was because they mirrored your own so well. Every touch so light, almost as if the two of you were afraid that too much too quickly, would be enough to shatter even the already mangled fragments of what remained. Nothing was spoken as each article of clothing from the both of you collected on the floor. The pile grew bigger, serving as the unfortunate reminder of the passage of time, and how this would soon be over. But even with what he didn’t say, you felt with his hands on your waist, his mouth on your temple, and his knee parting your thighs.  

He managed to find his voice once more with his forehead pressed to your belly. “I love you too.”

Your hands quickly found Jungkook’s shoulders, urging him upwards again. Your fingers landed softly on the curve of lips, lining them softly as you read the constellations of what he was feeling in the deep reflection of his eyes.

“I don’t want this to be sad,” You said, voice shaky.

“Me either, but it’s just hard for me not to treat this whole thing like glass.” He settled between your legs, body comfortably sitting on top of yours. “I just don’t wanna break it for good.”

“Then don’t think of it like that.” You ran your fingers through the strands of his hair, a slight smile sitting on your lips as he leaned into the touch. “It’s just… In pieces.”

Jungkook’s brow raised skeptically. “Uhm, isn’t that the definition of broken,” He asked.

“What I mean is that each piece is its own thing,” You said, shifting beneath his so he could really hear this. “There are pieces that show the good and the great, and there are others that show the literal fucking worst. But no matter how many pieces our relationship has broken off into, they still fit. It looks broken, but it doesn’t have to stay broken.”

“Okay well first of all you definitely heard that on a podcast,” He laughed, and you followed because admittedly it was true, but you also meant it in its entirety. But then however Jungkook continued, his laugh suddenly fading into something more serious. “But that… That also sounds like hope, and I don’t want false hope when it comes to you.”

You sighed, hating how complicated the two of you had made this. Four years of situations webbing together in an unnavigable mess.

“I meant that even in terms of friendship. I know we’re not the best at keeping this platonic, but we’re learning. We aren’t the same people that we were when we first met. Not even close — which is a good thing, because we sort of sucked,” You grinned, and he couldn’t help but nod along smiling. “But hey… Maybe someday somehow you’ll end up in New York with me.” For some reason you couldn’t help but include your wishful thinking.

Jungkook snorted in response. “If I ever end up in New York, something terribly good and unexpected has happened in my life, or maybe terribly bad depending on how you look at it. I’m talking some Breaking Bad level shit.”

“Where is your optimism?” You giggled.

“Lost somewhere in the back of a calc-2 lecture hall on December 8th of last semester’s finals week.”

“Aw, did you not pass?” You asked, genuinely concerned since you really hadn’t talked to Jungkook in recent months. Probably to avoid emotional situations such as the exact one you were currently in.

“No, I did. I mean it was barely passing, but still. It was sort of tragic how much I studied for it and still — actually no,” He suddenly paused midsentence. “I’m lying on top of your beautiful naked body talking about fucking calculus. That is the real goddamn tragedy here.”

You both laughed as he leaned down to plant pecks across the bridge of your nose, down your chin, and against your eyes. Allowing yourselves a moment to bask in such a simple and happy moment.

“Then do something about it,” You whispered, leaning up on your elbows deepen the kiss.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He smirked, sliding his palm between your thighs. “I very much plan to.”

He palmed at your slick heat, swallowing your gasps just as quickly as he created them. Once he started a particular motion, your hips jumped off the bed, chasing the feeling.

“There?” He murmured, giving another circle of his fingers around the responsive area.

You nodded quickly before baring your neck back. Jungkook felt your moans in his gut. Each twist of his fingers had your hips stuttering against his hand, your voice unabashedly sinking through the drywall of his apartment. However, even in that moment where his brain was fuzzy with desire, he still felt the impending end of it all eating at the back of his mind. That having you here, beneath him, professing your love, it was all just for that one singular moment, and then it would be back to nothing.

You could sense that sadness even through your pleasured haze and so you quickly pushed him off of you until he was laying on his back, a confused look on his face until you were straddling him, leaning forward to kiss and whisper soft assurances that things would be okay. He quickly relaxed into it, his hands settling on your sides, nails digging gently into your skin.

“Condom?” You asked as you shifted, feeling his member grazing the inside of your thigh.

He nodded, giving you one long, incredibly sweet kiss before breaking away to fish his jeans off of the floor. He grabbed his wallet, pulling the condom out before tossing everything else back onto the ground. He ripped it open, swiftly rolling it down his hardened length before settling his hands onto your hips and guiding you down until you felt him pressing at your heat. You both sighed deeply, feeling the harsh flare of warmth in your gut as Jungkook buried himself deeper inside of you until he bottomed out, stilling to give you a second to adjust.

Your brows furrowed, mouth parting slightly as the pleasure manifested itself as quiet moans, almost allowing you to forget the somber undertone of the entire situation. However, it was unfortunately short-lived, the second your eyes opened to see Jungkook sitting beneath you with his blissed out expression, all of the implications of that moment came crashing down. You inhaled sharply, your voice seeming to break before you could get the words out.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” You breathed out harshly as you buried yourself into his neck, his arms almost instantly wrapping around your back to shield you with some sort of comfort. You both stayed like that for a minute or so, just completely consumed in each other, taking in that beautiful moment of being so connected that it was possible, even if only slightly, to feel as if anything moving forward didn’t exist, and that it could just be like that forever.

But eventually you did have to move, feeling his hand come up to guide your face from the crook of his neck until you were pressing against his forehead, glimmers of sadness reflecting off of both of you. But even with sorrow tugging at his heart, Jungkook still managed a smile for your sake.

“Ready to make another piece, babe?” He eventually asked, and you could almost feel your heart crumble deep inside of your chest.

“Not the final piece though, right?” You asked, just to give yourself some sort of thread to hang onto.

“Of course not,” He said, shaking his head as if the idea was ridiculous. “Hey, five years from now maybe I’ll see you in some weird ass coffee shop in New York, and we’ll make another piece, yeah? And who knows, maybe it’ll be such a big piece that all of the splintered moments from the past four years will seem so stupid and insignificant.”

You smiled at the hopeful scenario and buried it somewhere deep inside of your soul.

“I love you.”

You both repeated it so many times after that, that it was hard to tell who was actually saying it at any given moment. Things just sort of started to melt together. He pressed deeper inside of you, pushing you until you were both a mess of tangled limbs and shuddered breaths. The seconds quickly turned into minutes, until the concept of time was so seemingly inconceivable that you could no longer even contemplate how long you had been pressed against his sheets, stuttered highs wracking your body, seemingly one after another.

Slowly the two of you forged this new and shiny piece of the long and complicated journey that your relationship undoubtedly was. It sat perfectly next to all of the splintered shards, so unspoiled and pristine compared to everything else that you and Jungkook had broken over the years. But even though it was messy, even though it had its flaws, when you sat back and looked at the mirror in its entirety, you couldn’t help but marvel at it. You traced the journey, each crack leading to a new fork in the road, until eventually you ended up right here: with Jungkook’s bated breaths after reaching his high landing softly against your shoulder, with the two of you whispering how much you loved each other as you found your way beneath the comforter, with this mural of mistakes, happiness, and life living inside the both of you, forever.

“Let’s try not to break this piece,” Jungkook said eventually, yawning as he pulled you into his side.

“I think it’ll be okay even if we do.” You simply smiled, your face pressing lovingly into the warmth of his chest before molding your lips against his in a light kiss that was tinged with the edges of sleep. “After all, we’ll always have our chance at a coffee shop in New York.”

[arplis]

Arplis - News: If rainbows and happiness came in packages, I’m pretty sure they would be in the form of a Christmas basket

They’re a great way to spread joy and one of the best ways to let someone know you care! Whether it’s for your better half, your boss or the old lady at the supermarket who always greets you with a smile on her face, this basket is like giving a compassionate part of yourself to the other person. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Spreading joy, making memories, showing your loving personality with others…..being a good Samaritan! Use these awesome ideas to make some really memorable, fun, and decorative Christmas baskets. Who said Christmas was only decorations and stuffing yourself with food? These baskets are easy to create, and will definitely make that special person’s day! Read on to find out how to gift people physical bundles of joy. 1. You Scream, We Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream! Credit: Onegoodthingbyjillee Who said ice cream was just for the summer holidays? In my opinion, ice cream can be eaten at any time of the day. It’s the perfect treat on any day, whether you’re going through a breakup, casually rummaging through the fridge, or want to gift someone a delicious flavor! Plus it covers the three most important food groups: sugar, dairy, and happiness. This DIY basket includes cones, chocolate syrup, sprinkles and other fun toppings like marsh mellows and nuts.  What’s not to love about a basket with all the makings of ice cream? Plus it’s a great way to propose, so if you fellas out there are running out of ideas, ice cream, without a doubt is the way to a woman’s heart. 2. The Cooker Basket Credit: Theglitterguide Want to gift somebody a cute and functional basket? This thoughtful cooker basket will give your special someone an advantage over the Christmas feast! Complete the gift with a cookbook, some rare wine, and some custom napkins. It adds a bit of elegance to this already thoughtful gift. You’ll have moms eating out of your hand for a year after gifting them this unique basket. Until next Christmas when you have to top your own gift! 3. C-O-F-F-E-E Basket Credit: Thetomkatstudio Can I get an Amen for my coffee lovers out there? Do I have your attention? There’s no doubt coffee is pretty much as addictive as Marvel movies. This coffee basket will definitely entertain a crowd, and is perfect for the holiday season festivities. Fill it with your favorite apple cinnamon, blueberry or warm banana nut muffins, as well as your favorite coffee beans, and mugs. This will warm your guests’ hearts in no time, making the holidays a lot more fun and filled with the taste of coffee of course. What’s Christmas without family time on the couch, a Christmas movie playing on TV, and a hot drink on hand? 4. Sweet and Savory Basket Credit: CountryLiving There’s no doubt that the contents of this basket will be gobbled up in about 5 minutes. The cause of this wonderful catastrophe? The rustic and visually pleasing cast-iron skillet that literally every woman wants in her household. It’s rustic, multi-functional and makes everything taste good. Basically, the Iron Man of kitchen tools. Cook up a sweet and savory breakfast, with cute things like pie in the skillet, a jar of peach jam, and of course, some butter! No rustic meal is complete without butter! Calories be damned. 5. Easy Paper Plate Basket For Muffins Credit: its always autumn This really cute DIY muffin paper plate basket replaces the need for huge wooden baskets. Plus, you don’t have to run out to your local craft store. Use paper plates to make the basket, wrap a ribbon around it and call it a day. It’s the thought that counts! 6. Banana Bread, Honey Butter Credit: JennySteffens Did the title banana bread catch your eye? You’re not the only one! I’m a huge sucker for Banana nut bread. It’s a snack that gives you a warm feeling down to your toes, and can turn any rotten day much better. Banana bread and honey butter? Forget it, I’m set for life. I’m not leaving the couch anytime soon. 7. Sweet Tooth Basket Credit: Prettyhandygirl If you’re the type of person who adds sugar to normal food, because the level of sweetness ain’t cutting it, this basket is perfect! Gift someone with a sweet tooth this basket, as a gesture of appreciation for the sweeter things in life. OK, that pun was kind of intended.  Fill it with caramel popcorn, chocolate kisses, filled truffles, and peppermints! Just in time for the holidays as well! 8. Elegant Popcorn Basket Credit: CountryLiving Can you hear the sleigh bells of Santa’s sleigh? No? Sorry guys, that’s just the popcorn popping! For popcorn maniacs like me where the butter has to be layered, and eating popcorn is an experience and not just a snack, this basket is delightful! It’s a crunchy surprise for the receiver, so go all out with the whole shebang. Include your favorite kernels, along with some cute Christmas greeting cards to really bring the festive mood. 9. Pop and Lock Credit: Lilluna Don’t recycle those soda pop bottles or old beer bottles! Wash them out, take out the labels and replace them with cute Christmas stickers, or personalized messages that can be stuck as labels on the bottles. Fill the bottles with types of candy, peppermints or whatever floats your boat. It’s a wonderful gift, and is perfect for families that are traveling or constantly on the go! 10. Spa Day at Home Credit: Thediymommy Perfect gift basket for any mom you know. There’s no such thing as a “deserving mom”. They’re all beyond comparison! Fill this basket up with spa goodies like soft hand towels, aromatic bath salts, refreshing face masks, and of course, a bunch of candles. Plus a few chocolates or goodies. Because why not? 11. The Ultimate Basket for Fathers Credit: Forcreativejuice Is your dad one of those people who can’t resist showing off on the grill? And insists grilling everything to show off his superior skills before realizing not every food item can be grilled? Like eggs. This gift is excellent for over-enthusiastic grilling fathers. This basket includes barbecue sauce, seasonings, and other items to fix up a grill! 12. Pedicure Gift Basket Credit: Laura’scraftylife This is honestly so cute, I’m pretty sure any woman on the planet in her right mind would love it! Not sure what to get your mom for Christmas, and want something sentimental but inexpensive? This will work in your favor. Especially if your mom just yelled at you for the 5th time for not cleaning your room, and you’re trying to get on her good side. Trust me, this pedicure “gift basket” will definitely let you off the hook for a week. No chores for a week? Yes please! 13. Peppermint Soap Basket Credit: apumpkinandaprincess If this doesn’t scream Christmas themed, nothing else will! Peppermint is pretty much the epitome of Christmas spirit. I mean, if there isn’t at least one candy cane or some peppermint candy somewhere in the house, it’s a crime against Christmas. Scrooge would be proud. This peppermint soap basket encompasses the spirit of Christmas. And peppermint. 14. Cupcakes anyone? Credit: Notoygifts I say cupcake, you say hell yes! Which kid doesn’t love cupcakes? Create this cupcake kit basket for those crazy kids running around the house. Because the sugar will definitely make them infinitely more energetic, so they won’t resemble children anymore. Just sugar hyped bouncing balls. This baking kit is affordable, comes with a few cupcake wrappers and one or two tools to help whip up some fluffy cupcakes. How cute is that? 15. Calling all Potter Heads Credit: kookinwithkimberly Know somebody who’s obsessed with Harry Potter? Are they also suffering from Harry Potter withdrawal since there aren’t any more books to read? We’re in the same boat. This gift will lift their spirits and stop the withdrawal symptoms. You know, like when they say Alohomora before realizing they require physical keys to open a door? Been there, done that. 16. The Sweetheart Box Credit: Momsandmunchkins This type of “basket” is great to give another couple, or your other half to relive all those nostalgic, memorable moments. Fill it to the brim with sweet treats like candy, chocolate, popcorn and of course a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. box set. If you’re really feeling fancy, add in a set of PJ’s to top off the sleepover vibe. If you’re giving it to your better half, add in a few cute love notes, because why not? You’re never too old for showing off how cheesy you are. 17. Candy Fever Credit: Hometalk Candy, quite honestly, is like a fever you can’t shake. Tootsie pops, starburst, skittles, oh the candy I could name and salivate over. Gift this unique and visually appealing basket to a fellow candy lover and watch their eyes literally light up.  I would probably grab this basket from them before they even handed it to me! Because, hello! Candy!! 18. Fancy a cuppa? Credit: DIYnetwork Of course, no one can do tea like the British. I mean, American tea is kind of the knockoff version of the traditional tea if I do say so myself. Gift this elegant tea basket to a fellow tea lover. Fill it with items like biscuits, butter, jam, a kettle, and of course tea powder. Add a tea towel for a simple, yet decorative touch. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than a red and white towel! 19. Bend It Like Beckham Credit: Giftbaskets4kids Honestly, it’s times like this where I really appreciate how much though moms put into gift baskets like this. Include a tiny soccer ball, a whistle, a soccer-themed watch, and other cute soccer themed toys to really get your kid in the mood. This is also perfect to give out in batches, especially during the holidays for your kid’s soccer team! #Soccer Moms are the most creative 20. An Overload of Chocolate Credit: Allthingstarget I’m pretty sure you started paying attention after I said chocolate. I know I can’t outdo Joey Tribbiani in terms of how much I can eat, but I can certainly try to outdo him in how much chocolate I stuff into my mouth! Why go for a bar of chocolate when you can curl up on the sofa with a nice cup of hot chocolate? Gift this to a friend or loved one, and have no qualms about them liking it or not. There’s nobody on the planet who doesn’t like hot chocolate. Yes, I’m also including the coffee lovers here! 21. Italian Dinner for Two Credit: DIYnetwork When I was little, I always wanted to take a bath in spaghetti. Then again, I wasn’t the brightest. Because I also wanted to go round and round in the washing machine. Was anyone else as weird as me? No? Wonderful. After a long day of holiday shopping, making dinner seems like a monumental task. This is one basket you can gift yourself and your neighbor, especially before the Christmas Eve/Day hustle involving long hours in the kitchen to prepare a feast. Include some rich marinara sauce, your favorite type of pasta, some classic Mozzarella, and of course….wine! 22. Christmas Morning Gift Credit: Anightowlblog I mean sure, it’s great to get presents from under the tree. But when someone delivers a basket full of goodies to your doorstep on Christmas morning, you’re basically guaranteed to have a good day. To quote Forrest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” 23. Shades of Candles Credit: Insidethefoxden Candles are my second favorite thing to smell, the first thing being my mom’s fabulous incomparable cooking. Include warm flavors like pumpkin spice and cinnamon apple. Pair these with refreshing scents of Christmas like peppermint bark and holly. 24. Cookie Basket Credit: Thetomkatstudio Whenever I watched Sesame Street, Cookie Monster was my idol. Seriously! Cure your friend’s winter blues with some freshly baked cookies and some cute, thought felt notes. 25. Winter Survival Kit Credit: Onegoodthingbyjillee Are you worrying about your kid at college, or your best friend who often forgets to take care of herself during the wintertime? Send her a mason jar of lip balm, moisturizer, tissues, coffee packets and notes telling her how much you care and how proud you are! 26. Natural Beauty Basket Credit: Helloglow Pamper that special someone with products that will enhance their natural beauty like moisturizer, towels, and face cream. A perfect gift basket! 27. The “Guy” Basket Credit: Onegoodthingbyjillee The perfect gift for your foodie friend! Stuff some of their favorite junk into a mason jar, and watch them eat everything except the jar. 28. The Burger Romance Credit: Ithinkwecouldbefriends Who said romance only had to involve cuddling, chocolate, cheesy movies, and wine? Gift your man with all the makings of a burger, and have the most memorable date night ever! Include all the condiments of course. This really gives meaning to “the way to his heart is through his stomach!” 29. Calling All The Marvel Fans Credit: Storenvy After Endgame, I can sincerely say that I’m suffering from a serious Marvel withdrawal. I mean, there’s only so much emotion one human can take. First Iron Man, then Black Widow? Gift your fellow Marvel crazed friend this basket to cure them of the Marvel bug. 30. Movie Night With a Kick Credit: Ithinkwecouldbefriends Uninterrupted. What an amazing word. When I have movie nights, I want everything around me, including food and drinks and company so I don’t have to get up at all! Perfect for date night, include a box set, your favorite snacks and some wine to top it off. 31. Orange You Glad That Christmas Exists? Credit: Onegoodthingbyjillee Forgive the pun, I was having an annoying orange moment. Fill up a mason jar with orange chewing gum, candies and soda, and gift this unique basket to someone special. Especially if they love orange. The sky is the limit! 32. Classic Wine and Cheese Credit: Ithinkwecouldbefriends Trying to impress a fellow colleague or teacher? Show off your wine and cheese expertise with a collection of goodies in one basket. Throw in some fresh loaves of bread to really show you care. And to show off your bread expertise too. 33. Taco Kit Credit: darlingdoodlesdesign There are days you wake up and want tacos. Then there are other days where you wake up and realize you don’t just want one, you’ll die for one. Cure those Taco Tuesday cravings with a friend, by making a basket with all the makings of a taco. With a cute label on the basket-like  “Inhale tacos. Exhale negativity.” 34. Baby Basket Credit: Fantabulosity This basket is filled with awesome baby essentials to get you through those long long nights. Perfect gift for someone who just had a new baby. 35. Happy Housewarming! Credit: Tastysouthernchic As if you don’t already have something to celebrate, gifting someone this basket will make the house more….warm. OK, bad pun. But still, welcome your neighbors with a cute basket of towels, wine, and a small plant to welcome them. 36. The Frozen Basket Credit: Makelifelovely Include Elsa themed toys, some mints, and of course the Frozen DVD. This will make your kids excited to the point where they’ll start naming every snowball Olaf. If they don’t already. 37. The Book Lover Basket Credit: Woodsofbelltrees As a fellow book nerd and lover, this basket is seriously my dream basket as is the case with many other book lovers! Make a gift basket for your fellow book lover with a few novels, a blanket and of course some chocolate. 38. The Guest Basket Credit: Happygoluckyblog Although it’s always wonderful to have guests over during Christmas, it’s a little difficult to find personalized, meaningful gifts for them. Make this basket epic by including some cute water bottles, toothbrushes and of course some extra goodies like cookies and chocolate! 39. It’s Snowing Way Too Much! Credit: Thediymommy Make these baskets for those “snow day survival” days. Like when it’s so cold outside you wonder if you’ve suddenly moved to Antarctica. If you look out the window, you might see a penguin or two. This basket will help whomever you gift it too, with thoughtful items like cookies, hot chocolate packets, a blanket and lots of other goodies. The sky is the limit until the basket gets full! All in all, Christmas baskets aren’t that difficult to create. Whether it’s for your other half, a friend or a neighbor, spread a little joy with baskets made of thoughtful simple items. Watch the Christmas spirit really manifest! If you found the post helpful, then do share the post! The post 39 Fabulous DIY Christmas Gift Baskets appeared first on OffbeatBros. #Christmas

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/if-rainbows-and-happiness-came-in-packages-i-m-pretty-sure-they-would-be-in-the-form-of-a-christmas-basket

[scoutshonor56]

The Uninvited Guest

Have you ever had an uninvited guest?  You know, the one who promises to help around the house, get along with the wife and kids, stay in the background, kick in some money for food and bills, just until he finds a job and moves out in a timely fashion…

 …and then does none of the above?  Now, 8 months later, the wife is one more “incident” away from filing for divorce, your kids are hardly ever home, and the funds are getting so lean you’re pulling extra hours at work to compensate (and avoid homelife) and even brown-bagging it for lunch.  I know some countries that probably feel that way - it certainly reminds me of our relationship with the Middle East.

 As I watched American troops withdrawing from Syria last week, being pelted with rocks and potatoes, angry mobs of Kurds shaking their fists and holding up signs, I had nothing but shame for my country; shame and anger.  Yup, shocking even those in his own party and members of his cabinet advisors, our reality-challenged Moron in Chief announced that he was bailing on strategic ally, the Ukraine, in his fairy tale effort to spin his own story and “Bring our troops home!”  

 Oh BOY, that phrase has such a positive ring to it! It smells of mission accomplished, implying some sort of victory! Tears and hugs, excited dogs, welcome home parties, and a return to mom’s Sunday beef stew and apple pie with the family!

 Whooo-WEE did that one push the bullshit meter needle into the red; all we’re doing is moving the tokens around the board, and not very far at that.  They are already being re-deployed two steps over, primarily back to Iraq.  This occupation - let’s call it what it is - has become a marathon game of insanity and blood, where there is no end and everybody loses.  It’s an open scrum played on a dangerous field of rock and sand with no rules, no boundaries, and goal posts that were torn down long ago - just make shit up as you go along.

 I know it’s been a long time, so it’s understandably easy to forget, but the invasion of Afghanistan began on October 7, 2001, and soon expanded into Iraq on March 19, 2003.  Meaning in two short years, we will have reached the twenty-year mark, the longest war by far in America’s relatively short history. There are teenagers today who have known nothing but this occupational war.  It has literally become part of our national fabric, background static in our everyday lives; and like an ever-present mild tinnitus ring in your ear, you soon learn to live with it, tune it out.  Put a WE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS bumper sticker on your car and carry on with your day, feeling secure that you’ve done your part.  

 It’s filler for the media when they run short of something more “interesting” to prattle on about, something more eye-grabbing!  This war is sooo old news – it has no cute, fuzzy animals doing funny things, not even any chesty cleavage for God’s sake!  And where are the celebrities, the Hollywood scandals!?  Oh never mind, switch the channel to “America’s Got Talent”, or “Dancing With the Stars”, or “The Voice”…

 Again I ask myself, why is it that America, in all it’s nationalistic hubris and arrogance, simply can’t imagine the horror and hatred generated by military occupation of one’s own country?  What if it was us that had M2 Bradley fighting vehicles and Humvees patrolling our streets, troops banging down our doors, searching our homes, families rounded up in our streets and being harshly interrogated in a language we don’t even understand.  The ever-present “accidental” shootings and beatings, tempers flaring, hospitals, social events, and schools bombed, all justified with the flippant term “collateral damage” - OOPS!  

 Proud cities laid in ruin, jobs lost, and forced mass migrations pushing you here, there, and then back again as the bloody conflict moves from place to place, country to country.

 And I might add this is something we’ve had a lot of practice at over the last century; this is far from the first time we have flexed our misguided muscle in a world that we continue to see through our myopic American eyes.  “Surely everyone shares and envies our values and culture, right?”  Granted, there may have been a time not long ago when this was true, and the premise still holds some validity today, but no ride lasts forever, and this is a new century with a new game that is already seeing a lot of new players.  It’s time this country and its people came to grips with the reality that as of 2019, we comprise 4.27% of the world’s global population.    

Many might say, “Well yes, but we’re liberators, not aggressors…”

 To which I would say, let’s hold off on the flag waving until such results are achieved – until then, and after almost 20 years, the distinction to me appears rather blurry.  Or more to the point, let that call be made by the hapless bystanders and victims caught in the middle; let’s ask them if all the sorrow and rage is/was worth it.  Then let’s be honest and open with the American people and tally up our cost, and then put it on the scales of justification:

 According to a study at the Watson Institute at Brown University, the combined cost of this war in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq so far is just shy of, and soon approaching, 6 trillion dollars; that’s trillion.  

 According to this same study, there have been an approximate total of 500,000 people killed, and that’s not even including another half million deaths attributed to Syria, a bloody skirmish we joined in 2014.  How much of that can be directly attributed to our involvement?  Certainly debatable I grant you, but you can cut those numbers in half and they still represent a staggering figure.  

 According to Military.com a record total of 321 active duty members of the American military took their own lives just last year - that’s almost an average of one a day.  I’m no psychologist, and I’m sure there are a myriad of complex reasons, but quite frankly I don’t find it that difficult to understand the feeling of hopelessness and absurdity as you contemplate a life that you used to know fading from your day to day reality.  Home?  Home will never be the same for you, especially if you are one of the maimed and scarred…

 Maybe I’m being idealistic or naïve, or reading too much “fake news”, or simply not clear on how we keep score in such endeavors, but I’m not seeing much of anything on the plus column here yet…  

 Meanwhile, let’s imagine a parallel universe where America embraces a much more effective and sane method to “win the hearts and minds” of countries in turmoil, who are tipping on the brink of political and social chaos. What if we took a tiny chunk of those trillions of dollars, let’s say 5 or 10 billion, and built schools to educate, libraries, and hospitals.  Sent over professional and knowledgeable advisors instead of soldiers to help with a country’s medical needs, sustainable farming techniques, and developing new industries to generate a stable economy.  How do you think the rest of the world would judge us then?  How many nations would not only become willing allies, but maybe even emulate this humanitarian effort that recognizes we are all people sharing the same planet.

 Now for the bonus feature that enhances life here at home – we could utilize a couple of those trillions of dollars to rebuilt and modernize our roads and bridges, our water management systems, airports, and mass transit infrastructure.  I can’t tell you how many documentaries I’ve watched where American engineers grade all of these areas as antiquated and sorely in need of repair or replacement.  Did you know nearly 85% of our bridges were built before 1970?  Major airports around the world put ours to shame.  As our climate rapidly changes, flood management has now become a major concern here in America.  We could greatly expand and improve renewable energy, making it more cost efficient and readily available.  

 Improve our schools and pay our teachers a competitive wage.  Why would any country not treat the education of its citizenry as a top priority? Schools are the very soil in which we carefully nurture the human seeds of a globally successful and competitive society, critical today more than ever.  According to an international study done by the Pew Research Center in 2015, our educational system rates middle of the pack, or worse – how do you think that bodes for our future in a rapidly changing and developing world? 

And we would still have plenty left over to maintain a robust Defense Dept. 

 Instead, we continue to feed an insatiable Defense budget.  A gluttonous monster that holds sway over our politicians and lobbyists. Last year alone we spent more than the next seven countries combined, and yes, that includes China and Russia. Our military budget for 2020?  $738 billion, and it goes up every year.  

 While we now have a record breaking deficit of over 1 trillion dollars, military spending eats over half of our discretionary budget annually.  Why do we continue this madness of “might makes right”?  Pursuing peace through aggression and intimidation, carrying the biggest club?  According to The Wall St. Journal, America has more than 400 military bases around the world, located on every continent but Antarctica. As of this year we have an inventory of over 6,000 nuclear warheads – now that’s what a call a redundant backup…

 This is exactly the madness that retired five-star general and former president Dwight Eisenhower warned about in his farewell speech at the White House on Jan. 17, 1961. He called it “the military-industrial complex”, referring to the growing and dangerous union of our defense contractors and the armed forces.

 His successor to the highest office in the land, John F. Kennedy, once said:

"And we must face the fact that the United States is neither omnipotent or omniscient - that we are only six percent of the world's population - that we cannot impose our will upon the other ninety-four percent of mankind - that we cannot right every wrong or reverse each adversity - and that therefore there cannot be an American solution to every world problem."  

 Just maybe it’s time to try a little harder at getting along; to lead by example, instead of might.  America first?  Great, I’m all for it - let’s start in our own backyard, because it’s a mess.

[hissorihaka]

I love you charms!! They are so cute!! As an artist trying to get started on selling my own products, i was wondering if i could ask how you make your packaging look so nice? I would love to learn how to make my stuff look so professional.

Oh me gosh, you have no idea how much that means to me… I’m emotional now! ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ ) Thank you very much lovely! ( ◜◒◝ )♡ I apologize in advanced for taking forever to answer your wonderful ask. You caught me right in the middle of prepping for a convention ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ

Anywhosies~ Here’s a small tutorial on how I do my packaging for charms:

First, make your design. I sometimes sketch out the design on paper before I move onto Photoshop. Depending on how big you want your packaging to be, is how big you want your design to be. I prefer to use 3x5in and always work under a 300dpi/resolution or bigger. Make sure you are able to find baggies with your dimensions before you design. I’ll talk about this further into this tutorial.

Tip: Make your width at least .25in smaller! Some baggies are a couple of millimeters smaller from the actual width. I keep forgetting to fix this little detail thus why you see the width as 3in instead of 2.75in.

The design is really up to you. You can have a theme going on per set, per charm, or you can even just use your logo as the design for every charm and make your life easier lol  There’s no rules to follow, just have fun and design away!

Tip: Don’t overdue your designs though, you want the charm to be the main focus. Something simple yet fun and or elegant will work. Don’t be afraid to google examples of other people’s designs. That will give you an idea and get you going.

Save your designs! Save them as both a JPG and PS file (or as the software you are using).

Be organized! If you plan on having multiple designs or even make lots more charms in the future, name them so they are easier to find. Your packaging designs can even have their own folder or sub folder if needed.

Setting up. Open any wordpad or word processor of your choice and add your design. Depending on how big your design is, you’ll be able to fit more or less. 

Print a test page. Print your design on your everyday normal paper just to check that everything looks okay! If your printer is like mine, it will be a troll and sometimes print a bit crooked, but don’t worry! Since they’ll be cut, it doesn’t affect your designs in any way.

Now let’s print…

Ta-daaaa! Here are my designs that I printed on the cardstock I fell in love with. The cardstock I use is called Astroparche Cover Stock and it’s from the brand, Neenah. I love the natural look it has–it’s not white, so ye be warned that the colors will have a small slight tint of yellow when printing. The cardstock is also thick enough for my printer to use and sturdy enough for my charms. You can find this cardstock on Amazon, but I was lucky enough to find it at my local Office Depot!

Tip: Photo paper can also be used if you so prefer. Again, whatever makes you happy and works best for you. 

Get your handy dandy paper cutter ready…

Cut, cut, cut! Cut out all your designs with your paper cutter. I don’t suggest using scissors unless you trust your hand enough that it won’t mess up and cut straight! If you don’t have a paper cutter, note that you most certainly do not need to buy the huge guillotine type. There’s small ones that can be used and can even be taken with you to conventions! The one I use is small and cute and has been with me for three years and the extra blade that came with it has not been used yet. Amazing~

Punch, punch, punch! Time to get your hole puncher and punch them little holes. I actually have a special hole puncher with a 3mm hole, but you can definitely use a regular 6mm hole puncher. How far down you want your hole to be is up to you.

Tip: If you want to get fancy, you can even buy hole punchers that have cute hole designs! Like stars or hearts ♡☆♡☆

Baggies!!! So, remember how I said to make sure to find baggies with the dimensions you plan to use before designing? This is only because of the rare chance you use certain dimensions that there’s no baggies for. Always double check!

Anyways, when buying baggies, make sure that you go half and inch (or more) above your height so you can create a tab to fold back and tape your baggie shut. You can also find baggies that already have adhesive! It’s just a matter of what you like and what works for you. Maybe you want to get creative and use a cute sticker or washi tape to close your baggie, who knows! Some people even buy baggies with hang tabs to hang them for display when they’re tabling in conventions.

“But Dee, where do I find baggies??”

*squishes your cheeks and whispers*

Ebay… Ebay is your best friend. Search for clear cello/poly bags (￣▽￣*)

Almost there…

Setting up! Once you have your charms built and ready to go, it’s time to package them and use your new super duper amazing designs! For this, we’ll be using washi tape since it doesn’t leave any residue and it’s easier to peel off. Any washi tape will do, it doesn’t matter! I tend to rip off about 10-20 pieces at a time to have them ready to go. It makes things easier on my end.

For cellphone straps: Loop the strap inside the hole and align your charm. Once you are happy, tape the strap with the washi tape.

For key chains: Yes, it works just as well! But we’ll be needing ribbon, 3mm wide ribbon to be exact. Cut about 2in and loop one end inside the split ring while bringing the other end above. Bring both ends of the ribbon into the hole and align your charm. Once you are happy, tape the ribbon. You should now have your charm cutely hanging from the ribbon~

All you gotta do now is bag ‘em, seal ‘em, and you are ready to go! Look at you–you did it! I’m so proud of you ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

I hope this helps you and anyone else looking to start making their own unique packaging for their cute charms~ ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

[iamtheunicornprincess]

The Odyssey & Post Sound Grumblings From One Too Many Picture Lock Fake Outs

Ciao, peeps. I’ve been pretty busy the past few months working on sound for film. While I am not limited to post production audio, most of what I’ve been doing has been post sound design and mixing as of late. While part of the fun of post audio is the cleanup, I think I’ve been spoiled by creating audio from scratch for games and cleaning up my own recordings. Every piece of audio you get can, most likely, use a little work, and I’m pretty aware of acoustic conditions, mic placement, etc., during my own productions.  Getting handed audio from film production is a little difference if you’re not the mixer/boom operator on set: Poor quality recordings with limited care/experience during film production from an amateur can be common, and the reality of working in the field that I do is that this is going to happen - point blank. I’ve been learning more and more the importance of watching the film with the director, taking avid notes on what can be fixed, what needs ADR, what needs foley, and having the director sign off on it. I cannot emphasize how frustrating it is for both parties to butt heads when they’re on a time limit, ADR isn’t possible due to conflicting actor/actress schedules/locations, but the director needs that one audio track layered with dog barking in the background and feedback loop screeching to be crystal clear. I’ve also updated my contract for rate increases after picture lock is edited. Because, holy shit, just please don’t do this to me. It’s happened too much the past three months and I may or may not have cried. A little. Thanks in advance. 

But it’s been really fun. I have had the pleasure of working on some really unique visuals and stories and I feel lucky to have made new friends in the process. 

Now, onwards to my synth stories..

I did it. I got an Arp Odyssey. Yes, I was planning on getting a vintage MKIII. No, I did not because I found the right synth. THE synth. Like a soulmate. I thought about it overnight and promised if I still wanted it in the morning, I’d go for it. But, let me back up, because I’m getting way too ahead of myself.

I’ve wanted an Arp Odyssey for a few years now. When I was a student in college, I hardly noticed the vintage model housed there because I was too terrified of the 2600s. The Odyssey was tucked away and covered in dust and as heavy as a ton of bricks, only used by one professor who used to work at Arp. Anyway, I started working for the university in 2013, became obsessed with the Odyssey in 2014, and that synth helped me through the shittiest time of my life in late 2015 to 2016. I promised myself that I’d purchase one if things got better. It was kind of a half-assed promise, because I was pretty negative at the time and extremely broke, but also because I figured that nothing would ever top that specific model that I used the previous years. 

Well… Then I found it. I had the money, and I was on eBay, just to browse, and not expecting to find anything. And then, on my search engine, rainbow faders and all, was a MK I 2800 in white, which was the exact model I did not originally want. 

But, something stuck out about it. Part of me was curious as to whether or not it was actually vintage, because I see so many folks selling Korg releases for thousands to trick people, or maybe just to trick themselves. I clicked it, saw the price, knew I could buy it then if I wanted to but being a frugal spender (especially on myself, because, for a while, I had no choice but to be this way [and I like gifting other people too much]), I didn’t purchase it. I saw the photos of the front, back, the faded signal flow chart, and the sweet pink 90s star sticker on the pitch wheel, and part of me STILL questioned if it was actually a 1972 release, I think because I was starting to like it and starting to convince myself not to spend a lump of money. But then, I saw the back: There was a sticker from Syntronics, probably circa late 80s or 90s, judging by how the phone number didn’t include an area code (Syntronics is a Massachusetts synth repair company run by John Koumoutseas, who also used to work at Arp). It made me feel nostalgic. I sat on my bed and mentally recited my own home phone number from my childhood and how confusing it was to me as a kid when we had to start plugging in ‘978′. How my dad wrote the number for the job at post office on a pillar of our house in the basement in permanent Sharpie in the rare case that he’d forget it and needed to call out, though he never did either. How I spent so many weekend nights on the landline as my siblings listened on like spies. Anyway, I was going down memory lane and now making up even more excuses. “Oh, the pitch knob is different and maybe I prefer the pitch bend pads of the later unit,” and “I wanted a MKIII and I shouldn’t settle”, and then when I saw it was totally restored, I started to use the color of the face plate as an excuse because it wouldn’t match my MPC. 

At this point, I emotionally ate half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and got mad at myself for spending a portion of my synth money on stupid ice cream and decided to message the seller. “Hey, is this definitely a 1972 MK I originally 2800?” Probably wondering if I can read, he responded with a simple ‘yes’. Testing him, and still trying to convince myself not to drop money on this, even though I’ve waited years and everything was going in my favor for once, I asked basic questions about functionality. “It all works perfectly,” he said. I was running out of excuses. He said he was also in NYC, and by this point, I began freaking out. “Ok, I’ll sleep on it,” I thought. I woke up and had doubts because I had been so set on a MK III for so long, but reached out again. I asked why he was selling it, and how many owners the unit has had. He said it had one owner, his father, the late Doug Walker of Alien Planetscapes. At this point, I was freaking out, and told myself that if it was still available on pay day that I’d buy it. I really didn’t want this synth to go to somebody who could potentially resell it or get bored of it. Doug’s son said I could purchase it and send the money the next day, and when I woke up the next morning, the Odyssey was inbound to my work for delivery (I had a lamp stolen from my porch once, so I was not risking it). 

That Friday, once UPS stated its delivery, I traveled to Manhattan to pick up my dream synth, got in a cab with a box bigger than me, almost threw up from my cab driver riding the breaks. I had never been so excited about a piece of gear in my life and filled two garbage bags with packing peanuts. The synth is now mine forever. 

I have other stories to add, and may do so tomorrow. Till then, sleep well, kiddos.

x The Unicorn Princess

[purenoodles]

55-100

Gonna hope it was this ask

Gonna add a read-more because this bitch LONG and also I’m in the mood to monologue on half of these questions

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

I’ve told like... two? people I’ve liked them. Drunk me on the other hand tells everyone because he’s a bitch and is like “lemme YEET my heart into the person’s lap and tell them how much they mean to me and how I wouldn’t mind owning a house and dog with them”

56. Do you like to cuddle?

If I like the person I just like being around them, preferably touching in some way (unless they aren’t cool with it) so cuddling would be WONDERFUL.  I’ve dated people in the past that weren’t cool with it, like a past ex had some serious emotional trauma so an average day’s contact was a light handshake or high five, and a really good day was a tight hug or kiss. While it’s not ideal I’m still fine with it.

57. Are you shy?

If you asked ANYONE who knew me they’d say I’m not, but I really am - at least when first meeting someone. I have a completely unearned confidence that I’ve learned to project to get me past my initial shyness and after a couple of times of that projection I can just be my natural self.

58. Do you get along with girls?

I think like 90% of my tumblr friends are girls so I’m gonna say yes. When I first meet someone I’m definitely a lot shyer around girls though. It doesn’t help that I’m 6 feet tall and an absolute god damn unit so I probably appear way more intimidating than I look.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nah we live too far apart and Erin’s been in a committed relationship like... 99% of the time I’ve known her?

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My phone, wallet, and an undying love for all of my buddies

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Yeah sure I’ll just get drunk and sleep through it or blast some bops and ignore whatever weird happenings go on

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I’d be disappointed if it lasted LESS than five months tbh. Like if I’m dating you I’m hoping we know each other enough that there aren’t any immediate issues that would end it that quick. I’ve been in like 3 serious relationships and they were all for over a year.

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

It is October and no. If you meant last October then also no.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Adorable and I better be able to kiss their forehead back. Also cute that they got a stepladder to reach or got me to bend over so they could reach lmao

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Got super drunk with @ticklepeachy and our friend Bean last night and talked about feelings and stuff

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

Like 22, 23, and 25

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

I’d probably just ask one of my friends to do it, but I don’t think I’d want my nails painted lol

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Neither but if I have to pick I guess Zebra?

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Nope!

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

It really depends on my mood because my musical taste is all over the god damn place and I can listen to both of them in the same session

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?    

I like my iPhone because it has my decade worth of iTunes music, but Androids are fine. My mom and aunts have blackberries and I hate them so much.

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Probably at least 6+ years ago. There’s like 50 pizza places that deliver to me so if I really want to have some delivered I can get pizza that’s actually good lmao

73. Do you like diet soda?    

Not particularly. It just tastes “off” for lack of a better word.

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

They’re “pearl white” or something I forget the exact color name but I just repainted them like 2 years ago.

75. Are you 16 or older?    

God I hope so

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

Nope, although I know a lot of people who were into it.

77. Do you have a job?    

I wish but I was like “Hey I should get a career doing something I love!” and it’s impossible to break into the job market without like a 5.0 GPA, 3 internships, and 5 years experience.

78. What are your initials?    

MJP

79. Did you ever have braces?    

Nope, I have a bit of a crossbite but it’s never been bad enough to warrant braces thankfully

80. Are you from the south?

No and I’m disgusted you would ask me this :/

81. What does your last status on facebook say? 

I’ve been scrolling for awhile and my last post was 2 years ago and it was a “shared memory” from 5 years ago. I have no idea what my last status was

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Nope, they’re incredibly toxic and problematic and I wish I had realized it when we first met!

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

Mom for sure.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

Nope, haven’t done either. Although I took 2 science classes my senior year of high school which meant instead of having Gym class every day of the week for half of the year I had it like 3 days/week for like 2/3 of the year. After the first semester I had gym class with an all girl class that was a grade below me and I had to do whatever they did, so I did have some experience with tumbling.

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

I think it was the Wolverine movie that came out a year or two ago. Ryan and I hit up Dave and Buster’s because I got a bunch of free gift cards for there, then we forgot to grab food and I was like “haha it’s fine I’ll just buy food at the movies!” When they told me it’d be $20 for Nachos and a drink I almost cried.

86. Do you smoke?    

I smoke like 1 cigarette and 1 bowl of weed a year. The cigarette I randomly have while drunk when my cousin offers me one and every time I smoke it and go “yep definitely not for me”. The weed is from my cousin’s bf who offers me a hit every time I see him lmao.

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Flip flops but I don’t really like my feet so I prefer regular shoes

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yeah when it wants to work

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Straight but if I let my hair grow out to a few inches it starts naturally curling a bit at the ends.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

Yeah a couple of times

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

The lakes and rivers by me are NASTY so definitely a pool. If I drove like 2 hours to where I like going kayaking then the river is nice and I wouldn’t mind

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Once

93. …Had sex in a car?    

Nope!

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

Single and ready to move across the country if I get offered a job

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

Watching Alexis stream Super Mario Sunshine unless that was after her laptop died in which case I think we were just drinking and voice chatting

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

I probably saw some around the 4th of July

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

It’s okay but I cracked the camera lens so now sometimes it gets some weird glare

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

All of my friends are friends with benefits! They offer me emotional support or people to play games with or people I can just talk to or whatever the case may be.

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

Maybe so

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

I wouldn’t say hate, but the majority I don’t care about whatsoever

[jesusvasser]

First Drive: 2019 BMW X5 40i xDrive

CHATTAHOOCHEE HILLS, Georgia — I hate to admit this because I’m not the biggest fan of made-up names for cars that already exist, but BMW’s claim to coining the Sports Activity Vehicle, or SAV, name might be truly applicable to the fourth-generation X5. During our day of testing the latest high-riding Bimmer, I was left impressed with the vehicle’s breadth of capability both on and off-road.

However, as much as I was impressed, I was also shocked about how specific one must option an X5 to get exactly the vehicle we assessed. Take my overwhelmingly positive review with a grain of salt—as each modicum of praise is tempered with the acknowledgement of extras that may alter one’s experience in that area.

The new generation of X5 looks muscular and modern, further beefed up with a 21-inch wheel, although choosing these will incur a $1,550 ding to the bill. Our xDrive40i spec tester wore Phytonic Blue Metallic paint, which can be had for $550. The color contrasted beautifully with the Satin Aluminum trim and roof rails, and the result is a ute that looks both upscale and rugged.

Our tester was equipped with the base engine, a turbocharged 3.0-liter inline-six cylinder which churns out 335 hp and 330 lb-ft. It’s mated to an updated version of the ZF 8HP eight-speed transmission found in other cars across BMW’s lineup, which it calls a Steptronic and says provides sportier shifts. Fortunately, the upgraded M Sport brakes, for which BMW asks $650, bring the mass to a stop expertly.

The powertrain, which drives all four wheels via the xDrive system, feels characteristic of the ideal BMW. Under acceleration, the engine feels buttery smooth and moves the 4,813-lb SUV with ease. Push the gas pedal to the floor and the X5 thrills as it surges forward. The exhaust note emits a delicious snarl and snorts as the transmission works its way through the gears.

Even at full chat, the two-axel air suspension keeps everything tidy. Even though this comes as part of the Off-road Package, a $3,950 extra, which also adds the M Sport Differential as well as off-roading capabilities that I’ll address shortly. Between the differential, the suspension, and the optioned Integral Active Steering, added for $1,150, the X5 navigates windy roads with aplomb. It handles like a much smaller vehicle, feeling nimble despite its size.

Once we arrived at a ranch in the Chattahoochee Hills, it was time to take the X5 where few have gone before: truly off-road. The Off-Road Package is the first BMW has ever offered, so this generation of X5 is the first that has been able to tackle serious terrain with weapons grade equipment. There were still signs marked with Land Rover logos scattered through the course, so it appeared BMW has some confidence in its latest creation’s abilities.

We made extensive use of the hill descent feature, which holds the vehicle at a controlled speed when going down a steep grade. The X5 maintained its traction admirably. The rear steering was a boon in the tight corners of the forest path. It was as though the big SUV wrapped around trees, and only at one juncture did anyone from our caravan need to use the reverse gear to make it through a bend.

The air suspension also played a role in making this off-roading experience memorable. The X5’s suspension has 80mm of travel overall, and can be raised or lowered 40mm from its normal ride height. When the rough terrain drive mode is selected, the X5 lifts up to boost ground clearance. Having sampled the latest Jeep Wrangler in Moab earlier this year, I was impressed with the chassis control and off-road comfort. My tester seemed to waft over the rough stuff as I enjoyed the air condition and ventilated seats.

BMW also moved its interior design forward with this model. Our tester had standard porous brown popular wood trim, which imbued classic luxuriousness to the cabin.

I spoke with Eva-Maria Günther, interior designer for the X5 as she walked me through the layout of the vehicle that will dictate the design language of upcoming BMW cars. The Hofmeister Kink, or the “C” shape that you’ve likely noted on the C-pillar of BMW cars, has permeated the interior, and Günther says this is intentional.

“It is more dynamic when you leave [the line] open … like in the air vent,” she said. “It gives it a typical BMW feeling.”

Some of the knobs and switchgear were made from glass in our tester and could be optioned for $650. Günther said these can be viewed as “jewels” or points of pride in the vehicle. I saw them as a one-upping of Volvo’s crystal shifter, especially the crystalline iDrive knob. Our xDrive40i models were further luxed up with the leather dashboard option for $1,200.

Günther also stressed the reconsolidation of controls in the X5’s interior. Buttons and switches are relegated to what she calls “islands,” and says they’re meant to organize the driver’s focus when operating the vehicle. Speaking with me inside a pre-production model, she spoke to this layout philosophy.

“We have here that the climate control island, the air vent is now connected with this climate control and then in the middle console all the driving relevant functions are bundled in one area,” Günther said gesturing to the relavant parts of the dash. “This overall helps to have a clean and tidy appearance.”

I’ve spent as much seat time in our Four Seaons BMW M550i xDrive, and the new BMW interior design language is laid out with equivalent or better intuitiveness. As I hopped in the driver’s seat for the first time, I had no problems situating myself and finding the features or menu items on the infotainment screen I wanted. Critics of late model BMWs of the previous generation lamented the dated design, but Günther’s work should offer something that’s both modern and familiar.

It didn’t hurt, literally, that our testers had the Luxury Seating Package, which can be added to an X5 for $1,600. It adds the multi-contour chairs for every passenger, as well as massaging front-ventilated seats, a godsend on a humid Georgia day. Along with the standard Vernasca leather, I remained happily cosseted despite the oppressive exterior conditions. The vertical thrones are made even more luxurious with the inclusion of heated seats for every passenger for $350 and a heated steering wheel and front-seat armrests for $250.

The X5 is chock-full of luxury and tech as standard, but our testers had plenty of extras added on top as well. For $1,150, the Convenience Package grants keyless entry, four-zone climate control, and a full year of Sirius XM Radio.

The Premium Package, which was the least applicable during our day trip with the car, costs $2,050. It adds true luxuries, in the sense that these options are advanced, but not essential for day-to-day transportation. Improved parking assistant, a head-up display, wireless charging, a WiFi hotspot, “enhanced” USB and Bluetooth connections, a rear-view camera, and 360-degree camera visibility are all part of this selection.

Even deeper into the world of luxury lies the Executive Package, which adds an additional $2,050 past the base price. This adds remote engine start, soft-close doors, manual shades for the rear side windows, and Tron-like laser-enhanced LED headlights. This package may seem “extra” in the sense that its options are dramatic and over-the-top, but they endow the X5 with a user experience that truly feels special, as though there’s a spectral butler taking care of needs one doesn’t even know they’ve had.

This is also the first BMW to feature iDrive 7.0, the latest variant of the Roundel’s infotainment operating system. It offers increased customization and complimentary access to Apple CarPlay (shout out to my fellow Android users—BMW says the take rate on iPhone is so high they haven’t really considered adding Google’s mobile OS to their cars). The baked-in navigation, in which BMW planned our routes, offered some confusing directions. Fortunately, Google Maps is now available on CarPlay so not all is lost, literally speaking.

We cranked some tunes through the optional Harman Kardon sound system, which would incur another $875 to prospective buyers, but quality is clean and crisp. This one’s certainly worth snatching up.

BMW didn’t forget to ladle in the safety tech in their best-seller—there’s plenty of driving nannys to keep one’s investment between the lines and out of the bumpers of adjacent traffic. To add another layer of security, the $1,700 Driving Assistance Package can be had to beef up the car’s defenses. I had some initial issues with overly sensitive collision and lane-keeping assists, but a single defeat button eliminated all of the handicaps in seconds.

It may seem shallow to harp on BMW’s options, but our vehicle rung at $81,230 after the $995 destination charge, which is over $20,000 higher than the base price. I enjoyed my time in the X5 immensely and the dynamics, build quality, and features impressed me deeply, yet I was left wondering what a base car that stickers for $60,700 would be like to drive.

The tester of the BMW X5 xDrive40i may have quelled my skepticism of the brand’s chosen SAV moniker, but the 33% increase in price over the base model is astounding. Yes, one would receive a car with the same name, but would they have a comparably impressive driving experience? We’ll have to solicit BMW for an entirely optionless model to find out.

The 2019 BMW X5 will go on sale in November 2018.

2019 BMW X5 xDrive40i Specifications ON SALE November 2018 PRICE $60,700/$81,230 (base/as tested) ENGINE 3.OL DOHC 24-valve inline-6/335 hp @ 5,500 – 6,500 rpm, 330 lb-ft @ 1,500-5,200 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE TBD/TBD mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 194.3 x 78.9 x 69 in WHEELBASE 117.1 in WEIGHT 4,813 lb 0-60 MPH 5.3 sec TOP SPEED 130 mph

IFTTT

[eddiejpoplar]

First Drive: 2019 BMW X5 40i xDrive

CHATTAHOOCHEE HILLS, Georgia — I hate to admit this because I’m not the biggest fan of made-up names for cars that already exist, but BMW’s claim to coining the Sports Activity Vehicle, or SAV, name might be truly applicable to the fourth-generation X5. During our day of testing the latest high-riding Bimmer, I was left impressed with the vehicle’s breadth of capability both on and off-road.

However, as much as I was impressed, I was also shocked about how specific one must option an X5 to get exactly the vehicle we assessed. Take my overwhelmingly positive review with a grain of salt—as each modicum of praise is tempered with the acknowledgement of extras that may alter one’s experience in that area.

The new generation of X5 looks muscular and modern, further beefed up with a 21-inch wheel, although choosing these will incur a $1,550 ding to the bill. Our xDrive40i spec tester wore Phytonic Blue Metallic paint, which can be had for $550. The color contrasted beautifully with the Satin Aluminum trim and roof rails, and the result is a ute that looks both upscale and rugged.

Our tester was equipped with the base engine, a turbocharged 3.0-liter inline-six cylinder which churns out 335 hp and 330 lb-ft. It’s mated to an updated version of the ZF 8HP eight-speed transmission found in other cars across BMW’s lineup, which it calls a Steptronic and says provides sportier shifts. Fortunately, the upgraded M Sport brakes, for which BMW asks $650, bring the mass to a stop expertly.

The powertrain, which drives all four wheels via the xDrive system, feels characteristic of the ideal BMW. Under acceleration, the engine feels buttery smooth and moves the 4,813-lb SUV with ease. Push the gas pedal to the floor and the X5 thrills as it surges forward. The exhaust note emits a delicious snarl and snorts as the transmission works its way through the gears.

Even at full chat, the two-axel air suspension keeps everything tidy. Even though this comes as part of the Off-road Package, a $3,950 extra, which also adds the M Sport Differential as well as off-roading capabilities that I’ll address shortly. Between the differential, the suspension, and the optioned Integral Active Steering, added for $1,150, the X5 navigates windy roads with aplomb. It handles like a much smaller vehicle, feeling nimble despite its size.

Once we arrived at a ranch in the Chattahoochee Hills, it was time to take the X5 where few have gone before: truly off-road. The Off-Road Package is the first BMW has ever offered, so this generation of X5 is the first that has been able to tackle serious terrain with weapons grade equipment. There were still signs marked with Land Rover logos scattered through the course, so it appeared BMW has some confidence in its latest creation’s abilities.

We made extensive use of the hill descent feature, which holds the vehicle at a controlled speed when going down a steep grade. The X5 maintained its traction admirably. The rear steering was a boon in the tight corners of the forest path. It was as though the big SUV wrapped around trees, and only at one juncture did anyone from our caravan need to use the reverse gear to make it through a bend.

The air suspension also played a role in making this off-roading experience memorable. The X5’s suspension has 80mm of travel overall, and can be raised or lowered 40mm from its normal ride height. When the rough terrain drive mode is selected, the X5 lifts up to boost ground clearance. Having sampled the latest Jeep Wrangler in Moab earlier this year, I was impressed with the chassis control and off-road comfort. My tester seemed to waft over the rough stuff as I enjoyed the air condition and ventilated seats.

BMW also moved its interior design forward with this model. Our tester had standard porous brown popular wood trim, which imbued classic luxuriousness to the cabin.

I spoke with Eva-Maria Günther, interior designer for the X5 as she walked me through the layout of the vehicle that will dictate the design language of upcoming BMW cars. The Hofmeister Kink, or the “C” shape that you’ve likely noted on the C-pillar of BMW cars, has permeated the interior, and Günther says this is intentional.

“It is more dynamic when you leave [the line] open … like in the air vent,” she said. “It gives it a typical BMW feeling.”

Some of the knobs and switchgear were made from glass in our tester and could be optioned for $650. Günther said these can be viewed as “jewels” or points of pride in the vehicle. I saw them as a one-upping of Volvo’s crystal shifter, especially the crystalline iDrive knob. Our xDrive40i models were further luxed up with the leather dashboard option for $1,200.

Günther also stressed the reconsolidation of controls in the X5’s interior. Buttons and switches are relegated to what she calls “islands,” and says they’re meant to organize the driver’s focus when operating the vehicle. Speaking with me inside a pre-production model, she spoke to this layout philosophy.

“We have here that the climate control island, the air vent is now connected with this climate control and then in the middle console all the driving relevant functions are bundled in one area,” Günther said gesturing to the relavant parts of the dash. “This overall helps to have a clean and tidy appearance.”

I’ve spent as much seat time in our Four Seaons BMW M550i xDrive, and the new BMW interior design language is laid out with equivalent or better intuitiveness. As I hopped in the driver’s seat for the first time, I had no problems situating myself and finding the features or menu items on the infotainment screen I wanted. Critics of late model BMWs of the previous generation lamented the dated design, but Günther’s work should offer something that’s both modern and familiar.

It didn’t hurt, literally, that our testers had the Luxury Seating Package, which can be added to an X5 for $1,600. It adds the multi-contour chairs for every passenger, as well as massaging front-ventilated seats, a godsend on a humid Georgia day. Along with the standard Vernasca leather, I remained happily cosseted despite the oppressive exterior conditions. The vertical thrones are made even more luxurious with the inclusion of heated seats for every passenger for $350 and a heated steering wheel and front-seat armrests for $250.

The X5 is chock-full of luxury and tech as standard, but our testers had plenty of extras added on top as well. For $1,150, the Convenience Package grants keyless entry, four-zone climate control, and a full year of Sirius XM Radio.

The Premium Package, which was the least applicable during our day trip with the car, costs $2,050. It adds true luxuries, in the sense that these options are advanced, but not essential for day-to-day transportation. Improved parking assistant, a head-up display, wireless charging, a WiFi hotspot, “enhanced” USB and Bluetooth connections, a rear-view camera, and 360-degree camera visibility are all part of this selection.

Even deeper into the world of luxury lies the Executive Package, which adds an additional $2,050 past the base price. This adds remote engine start, soft-close doors, manual shades for the rear side windows, and Tron-like laser-enhanced LED headlights. This package may seem “extra” in the sense that its options are dramatic and over-the-top, but they endow the X5 with a user experience that truly feels special, as though there’s a spectral butler taking care of needs one doesn’t even know they’ve had.

This is also the first BMW to feature iDrive 7.0, the latest variant of the Roundel’s infotainment operating system. It offers increased customization and complimentary access to Apple CarPlay (shout out to my fellow Android users—BMW says the take rate on iPhone is so high they haven’t really considered adding Google’s mobile OS to their cars). The baked-in navigation, in which BMW planned our routes, offered some confusing directions. Fortunately, Google Maps is now available on CarPlay so not all is lost, literally speaking.

We cranked some tunes through the optional Harman Kardon sound system, which would incur another $875 to prospective buyers, but quality is clean and crisp. This one’s certainly worth snatching up.

BMW didn’t forget to ladle in the safety tech in their best-seller—there’s plenty of driving nannys to keep one’s investment between the lines and out of the bumpers of adjacent traffic. To add another layer of security, the $1,700 Driving Assistance Package can be had to beef up the car’s defenses. I had some initial issues with overly sensitive collision and lane-keeping assists, but a single defeat button eliminated all of the handicaps in seconds.

It may seem shallow to harp on BMW’s options, but our vehicle rung at $81,230 after the $995 destination charge, which is over $20,000 higher than the base price. I enjoyed my time in the X5 immensely and the dynamics, build quality, and features impressed me deeply, yet I was left wondering what a base car that stickers for $60,700 would be like to drive.

The tester of the BMW X5 xDrive40i may have quelled my skepticism of the brand’s chosen SAV moniker, but the 33% increase in price over the base model is astounding. Yes, one would receive a car with the same name, but would they have a comparably impressive driving experience? We’ll have to solicit BMW for an entirely optionless model to find out.

The 2019 BMW X5 will go on sale in November 2018.

2019 BMW X5 xDrive40i Specifications ON SALE November 2018 PRICE $60,700/$81,230 (base/as tested) ENGINE 3.OL DOHC 24-valve inline-6/335 hp @ 5,500 – 6,500 rpm, 330 lb-ft @ 1,500-5,200 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE TBD/TBD mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 194.3 x 78.9 x 69 in WHEELBASE 117.1 in WEIGHT 4,813 lb 0-60 MPH 5.3 sec TOP SPEED 130 mph

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[jonathanbelloblog]

First Drive: 2019 BMW X5 40i xDrive

CHATTAHOOCHEE HILLS, Georgia — I hate to admit this because I’m not the biggest fan of made-up names for cars that already exist, but BMW’s claim to coining the Sports Activity Vehicle, or SAV, name might be truly applicable to the fourth-generation X5. During our day of testing the latest high-riding Bimmer, I was left impressed with the vehicle’s breadth of capability both on and off-road.

However, as much as I was impressed, I was also shocked about how specific one must option an X5 to get exactly the vehicle we assessed. Take my overwhelmingly positive review with a grain of salt—as each modicum of praise is tempered with the acknowledgement of extras that may alter one’s experience in that area.

The new generation of X5 looks muscular and modern, further beefed up with a 21-inch wheel, although choosing these will incur a $1,550 ding to the bill. Our xDrive40i spec tester wore Phytonic Blue Metallic paint, which can be had for $550. The color contrasted beautifully with the Satin Aluminum trim and roof rails, and the result is a ute that looks both upscale and rugged.

Our tester was equipped with the base engine, a turbocharged 3.0-liter inline-six cylinder which churns out 335 hp and 330 lb-ft. It’s mated to an updated version of the ZF 8HP eight-speed transmission found in other cars across BMW’s lineup, which it calls a Steptronic and says provides sportier shifts. Fortunately, the upgraded M Sport brakes, for which BMW asks $650, bring the mass to a stop expertly.

The powertrain, which drives all four wheels via the xDrive system, feels characteristic of the ideal BMW. Under acceleration, the engine feels buttery smooth and moves the 4,813-lb SUV with ease. Push the gas pedal to the floor and the X5 thrills as it surges forward. The exhaust note emits a delicious snarl and snorts as the transmission works its way through the gears.

Even at full chat, the two-axel air suspension keeps everything tidy. Even though this comes as part of the Off-road Package, a $3,950 extra, which also adds the M Sport Differential as well as off-roading capabilities that I’ll address shortly. Between the differential, the suspension, and the optioned Integral Active Steering, added for $1,150, the X5 navigates windy roads with aplomb. It handles like a much smaller vehicle, feeling nimble despite its size.

Once we arrived at a ranch in the Chattahoochee Hills, it was time to take the X5 where few have gone before: truly off-road. The Off-Road Package is the first BMW has ever offered, so this generation of X5 is the first that has been able to tackle serious terrain with weapons grade equipment. There were still signs marked with Land Rover logos scattered through the course, so it appeared BMW has some confidence in its latest creation’s abilities.

We made extensive use of the hill descent feature, which holds the vehicle at a controlled speed when going down a steep grade. The X5 maintained its traction admirably. The rear steering was a boon in the tight corners of the forest path. It was as though the big SUV wrapped around trees, and only at one juncture did anyone from our caravan need to use the reverse gear to make it through a bend.

The air suspension also played a role in making this off-roading experience memorable. The X5’s suspension has 80mm of travel overall, and can be raised or lowered 40mm from its normal ride height. When the rough terrain drive mode is selected, the X5 lifts up to boost ground clearance. Having sampled the latest Jeep Wrangler in Moab earlier this year, I was impressed with the chassis control and off-road comfort. My tester seemed to waft over the rough stuff as I enjoyed the air condition and ventilated seats.

BMW also moved its interior design forward with this model. Our tester had standard porous brown popular wood trim, which imbued classic luxuriousness to the cabin.

I spoke with Eva-Maria Günther, interior designer for the X5 as she walked me through the layout of the vehicle that will dictate the design language of upcoming BMW cars. The Hofmeister Kink, or the “C” shape that you’ve likely noted on the C-pillar of BMW cars, has permeated the interior, and Günther says this is intentional.

“It is more dynamic when you leave [the line] open … like in the air vent,” she said. “It gives it a typical BMW feeling.”

Some of the knobs and switchgear were made from glass in our tester and could be optioned for $650. Günther said these can be viewed as “jewels” or points of pride in the vehicle. I saw them as a one-upping of Volvo’s crystal shifter, especially the crystalline iDrive knob. Our xDrive40i models were further luxed up with the leather dashboard option for $1,200.

Günther also stressed the reconsolidation of controls in the X5’s interior. Buttons and switches are relegated to what she calls “islands,” and says they’re meant to organize the driver’s focus when operating the vehicle. Speaking with me inside a pre-production model, she spoke to this layout philosophy.

“We have here that the climate control island, the air vent is now connected with this climate control and then in the middle console all the driving relevant functions are bundled in one area,” Günther said gesturing to the relavant parts of the dash. “This overall helps to have a clean and tidy appearance.”

I’ve spent as much seat time in our Four Seaons BMW M550i xDrive, and the new BMW interior design language is laid out with equivalent or better intuitiveness. As I hopped in the driver’s seat for the first time, I had no problems situating myself and finding the features or menu items on the infotainment screen I wanted. Critics of late model BMWs of the previous generation lamented the dated design, but Günther’s work should offer something that’s both modern and familiar.

It didn’t hurt, literally, that our testers had the Luxury Seating Package, which can be added to an X5 for $1,600. It adds the multi-contour chairs for every passenger, as well as massaging front-ventilated seats, a godsend on a humid Georgia day. Along with the standard Vernasca leather, I remained happily cosseted despite the oppressive exterior conditions. The vertical thrones are made even more luxurious with the inclusion of heated seats for every passenger for $350 and a heated steering wheel and front-seat armrests for $250.

The X5 is chock-full of luxury and tech as standard, but our testers had plenty of extras added on top as well. For $1,150, the Convenience Package grants keyless entry, four-zone climate control, and a full year of Sirius XM Radio.

The Premium Package, which was the least applicable during our day trip with the car, costs $2,050. It adds true luxuries, in the sense that these options are advanced, but not essential for day-to-day transportation. Improved parking assistant, a head-up display, wireless charging, a WiFi hotspot, “enhanced” USB and Bluetooth connections, a rear-view camera, and 360-degree camera visibility are all part of this selection.

Even deeper into the world of luxury lies the Executive Package, which adds an additional $2,050 past the base price. This adds remote engine start, soft-close doors, manual shades for the rear side windows, and Tron-like laser-enhanced LED headlights. This package may seem “extra” in the sense that its options are dramatic and over-the-top, but they endow the X5 with a user experience that truly feels special, as though there’s a spectral butler taking care of needs one doesn’t even know they’ve had.

This is also the first BMW to feature iDrive 7.0, the latest variant of the Roundel’s infotainment operating system. It offers increased customization and complimentary access to Apple CarPlay (shout out to my fellow Android users—BMW says the take rate on iPhone is so high they haven’t really considered adding Google’s mobile OS to their cars). The baked-in navigation, in which BMW planned our routes, offered some confusing directions. Fortunately, Google Maps is now available on CarPlay so not all is lost, literally speaking.

We cranked some tunes through the optional Harman Kardon sound system, which would incur another $875 to prospective buyers, but quality is clean and crisp. This one’s certainly worth snatching up.

BMW didn’t forget to ladle in the safety tech in their best-seller—there’s plenty of driving nannys to keep one’s investment between the lines and out of the bumpers of adjacent traffic. To add another layer of security, the $1,700 Driving Assistance Package can be had to beef up the car’s defenses. I had some initial issues with overly sensitive collision and lane-keeping assists, but a single defeat button eliminated all of the handicaps in seconds.

It may seem shallow to harp on BMW’s options, but our vehicle rung at $81,230 after the $995 destination charge, which is over $20,000 higher than the base price. I enjoyed my time in the X5 immensely and the dynamics, build quality, and features impressed me deeply, yet I was left wondering what a base car that stickers for $60,700 would be like to drive.

The tester of the BMW X5 xDrive40i may have quelled my skepticism of the brand’s chosen SAV moniker, but the 33% increase in price over the base model is astounding. Yes, one would receive a car with the same name, but would they have a comparably impressive driving experience? We’ll have to solicit BMW for an entirely optionless model to find out.

The 2019 BMW X5 will go on sale in November 2018.

2019 BMW X5 xDrive40i Specifications ON SALE November 2018 PRICE $60,700/$81,230 (base/as tested) ENGINE 3.OL DOHC 24-valve inline-6/335 hp @ 5,500 – 6,500 rpm, 330 lb-ft @ 1,500-5,200 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD SUV EPA MILEAGE TBD/TBD mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 194.3 x 78.9 x 69 in WHEELBASE 117.1 in WEIGHT 4,813 lb 0-60 MPH 5.3 sec TOP SPEED 130 mph

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