#yes you can also buy these soon
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especiallyqhere · 6 months ago
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The Idiotas ❤️
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 1 month ago
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my favorite scully moments from s5
in episode 1, we see the tomato poster on her wall, and i love it so much <3
shortly after, she has a confrontation with skinner:
“and what about your lie, agent scully? what does it lead to?”
“the truth- about the men behind what happened to me, about my abduction and the tests, about being exposed to something against my will, about being put on a table and having something implanted in me and then having my memory stolen, only to have it returned along with a disease that i was given” <- the way skinner was concerned for her safety but she took it as a challenge, getting angrier and angrier throughout the scene- OOOH, it was just SO good!
and when she finds that she was exposed to the mysterious substance from the ice core, she says “if my work with agent mulder has tested the foundation of my beliefs, science has been and continues to be my guiding light… now i’m again relying on its familiar and systematic methods to arrive at a truth” <- YES!!!!! SCIENCE!!! coming back to what has saved her over and over again and has been the basis of her life's work!! and the admission that her beliefs have been challenged by the things they've found!! i love this quote so much!! i want to analyze it forever!
in episode 2, mulder arrives at her hospital bed while her cancer is worsening, explaining his theory that the microchip he found will cure her. bill gets mad at him for suggesting something so ridiculous. she diffuses the tension by saying that everyone has their hearts in the right place, but it needs to be her choice (very diplomatic; she's clearly the middle child) and then decides that she will move forward with the procedure, choosing to take a risk and choosing hope... trusting mulder... augh. the symbolism of it all...
in episode 4, scully arrives in mulder’s motel room with cheese and wine, ready to relax, with this killer line: “however, i must remind you, this goes against the bureau’s policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment” (and then she is SO sad when he runs off to investigate something instead of enjoying hangout time, telling him he needs to work on his communication skills😟)
another bug fact moment with scully in episode 4 when she starts telling mulder about tick metabolism!! i love bug facts with scully!!
later, she's staring intently at the dead mothman and says “there has to be a scientific explanation for this” which is just so Her. (also, she shot and killed mothman with her amazing aim, which deserves its own shoutout)
the striped suit in episode 5......... good LORD!!!
in episode 6, she sees bill’s heavily pregnant wife tara and loudly declares “you’re HUGE!” which was SO cute
later, when she is worried that the phone isn’t working properly because she kept getting mysterious calls, she dials mulder's number. she doesn’t say a word when he picks up; she just listens to his voice. the intimacy of this moment makes me want to cry.
her episode 10 beach outfit! showing up to maine in a t shirt that says "maine", so you know she bought it before she even rolled up! renting that convertible! telling mulder that she is going to hang up now!
(i'm imagining how she was preparing for her trip and must have bought a shirt that says her destination on it, and it is SO funny/cute/nerdy)
scully episode 10 one-liners shoutout moment: “people say she’s a witch” “well, that’s not the first time for that accusation in these parts” and then later her dry remark on “new england hospitality” after someone slams the door in her face
she was SO dedicated to not getting involved with that dumbass haunted doll case. even though the local cops had no idea what they were doing and she had to walk them through it with baby steps, she kept saying “well! that sucks for y’all. let me go visit the beach now” and i was DYING. she was COMMITTED to that rest. and rightfully so!
bubble bath time with classical music and reading “affirmations for women who do too much” <3
jack the policeman takes her to get lobster and she is utterly shocked at the size of the creature, saying “that looks like something out of jules verne. we’re supposed to eat that?” <- NERD! nerd! i was blushing and giggling.
i’m barely exaggerating when i say that scully putting that haunted doll in the microwave might be the best moment of the whole show.
she also calls mulder and asks about the prevalence of evil dolls in occult literature, because she does not give a damn if this thing is a demon or a ghoul while she’s off the clock, she just needs it to leave her alone, and i respect that SO much
in episode 11, she’s very cranky to be woken up by mulder at 2:45 AM to poke around and investigate, and i don’t blame her!!
they’re trying to figure out what messages this dead hacker left behind when she points out the obvious (“anyone, uh, think to check his email?”) and the reaction from mulder and the lone gunmen is PRICELESS
(she also looks SO impressed when mulder figures out a series of random numbers is an ID for a shipping container. i swear she wanted him there)
her visible attraction to esther/invisgoth- i saw that tackling scene, the hand to the chest, the bullying (“what was your role in all of this? were you the bass player?”), scully's reaction to learning her name is esther, that face she made when esther asks “are you gonna take off my cuffs, or do i have to do this with my tongue?” ... scully. i know what you are.
and she is SO pissed off when esther takes her hostage- mulder calls while she's driving, and she picks up with the most flat and angry voice you can imagine: “where are you? it sounds like you’re driving” “you are correct, sir” 😐
but then esther starts sobbing in her car, and scully comforts her, putting her arm on her shoulder, as if moments ago there was not a gun to her face- because she is fundamentally a kind person and will offer a shoulder to cry on, even to this annoying, attractive goth lady who kidnapped her <3
(she also climbs onto a tractor trailer to tell a guy not to drive over the exploding bridge, which i thought was funny because she just gets right up there)
later in episode 11, she has to decide between killing this AI thing that will ruin the whole world or saving mulder, and she picks saving mulder with zero hesitation!!!!!!! and then carries him to safety!!! and tries to save esther, too!!!
there are SO many excellent moments in episode 12, but a special shoutout to: “first of all, if the family of ronnie strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, i think the figure is $446 million, then you and i will most certainly be codefendants. and second of all… i don’t even HAVE a second of all, mulder! i’m in this as deep as you are, and i’m not even the one that overreacted! i didn’t do the (gesturing) with the thing!” <- scully being so mad she’s at a loss for words is SO funny to me!!!
she has to do an autopsy and lets out the saddest yeehaw ever recorded when her scalpel blade slips out (AND when she finds mushroom pizza in the dead guy's stomach, she thinks it sounds so good she orders some for herself... scully, you are so weird and i love you) 
then when she finds more pizza in the second dead guy, she immediately realizes mulder is in danger, and runs back to save him from a teenage vampire!!!!
when mulder renounces his belief in the extraterrestrial in episode 13, she jokingly says her work here is done and tells him to have a nice life <3
she also grows to be cassandra’s defender, sticking up for her despite her eccentric story of alien abduction after she notices the parallels between their experiences; she breaks her agreement with spender to leave her alone because she needs to warn her that if she removes the implant, she will get very sick (!! again!!! her kindness!!!)
scully IMMEDIATELY noticing that mulder is being weird as hell in episode 18, but not knowing it is because he is undercover, and straight up confronting him about it (“i expect you to give me an answer. i expect you to tell me the truth” <- YEAH, YOU TELL HIM GIRL!)
and her accusing the motel worker of giving someone else her keys so she could figure out where tf mulder went: “who are you?” “who am i? who is he?!” and of course “are you the wife?” “not even close” <- oh she was so mad she suddenly knew how to lie!!! i watched that scene three times and laughed each time!
she’s also MAD AS HELL when she gets brought before the CIA representative and skinner and it killed me: “what the hell is going on?” “i apologize for our methods. they may well have saved agent mulder’s life” “what about my life? i don’t appreciate being run off the road” <- STOP RUNNING HER OFF OF ROADS!!! she knows her value and she is worth more than that!!!
but when they ask her if she’s suspicious of mulder’s actions lately, she IMMEDIATELY denies it. she might think that he is up to no good, but how DARE an outside party accuse him of this?!? this cannot be! she will defend his honor!!
(and breaking into his motel room to fix his finger........)
doctor nerd moments in episode 18 as she looks at bacteria and says “it looks like a streptococcus!” and then realizes it cannot be that, because “strep wouldn’t be able to survive any kind of exposure to the environment” (and then her incredibly confident “my research indicates that it was almost certainly developed domestically"... yeah, dr. scully MD is ON the CASE!!!)
when mulder gets all pissy in episode 19 because he thinks skinner is sending them on a busywork trip, she sets him straight: “you’re saying ‘i’ a lot. i heard ‘we’” <- ONCE AGAIN: GET HIS ASS!
sticking by her guns in episode 19 and refusing to autopsy the body and fuel mulder’s delusions (until she later is forced to)
later, he’s being held in the hospital, and the nurse refuses to let her see him, so she bursts in with her gun just in time to save him from some evil bug creature!!!
she holds gibson’s hand in episode 20, comforting him and walking him back to his room after he underwent testing <3 and later she chats with him about how his powers work while he watches cartoons; he says she doesn’t care what other people think, and she promises that no one will hurt him </3
then she brings the data she gathered from the testing to the lone gunmen, tells them to analyze it “with an eye to the parapsychological”, AND gets the tea on diana. truly a woman of action!
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 11 months ago
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GOOD NEWS the expensive pair of jeans i impulse-bought last week (bc my current jeans make me actually angry to wear) don't fit me, so i can return them and get a refund 😊
#on the one hand YES it would be great to have a pair of jeans that fit me#on the other hand i regretted that purchase financially as soon as i made it and i will be v glad to get the money back#WHY DOES NOWHERE MAKE JEANS THAT FIT ME#they're always just too baggy in places and too tight other places like they're usually too big and too small at the same time#and in that situation u can't just get it in a different size bc then it would still fit weird#these ones fit really well around my hips but were just weirdly baggy in the crotch? WHY#also they're always ALWAYS way too long on me but that's ok i can alter the hem length really easily#i guess the real answer would be to learn how to tailor the tops of jeans to fit me properly#i have been seeing some vids recently on pinterest on how to do that and i'll definitely look into it more#because it PISSES ME OFF TO NO END#the current pair i have are just. SO baggy and not in a cute way like they are definitely too big for me#and i guess i have lost a little weight since i bought them but i think probably they never fit right#and i was just so desperate that i settled#also i kind of made a loose resolution that i would only buy second hand or sustainable clothes from now on#and the vast majority of sustainable jeans do not come in sizes big enough for me#it fucking sucks but fast fashion brands really are the only places you can buy decent plus sized jeans#no 'good quality' denim brands eg levi or wrangler make plus sized jeans and you for sure can't find any second-hand#that's why this pair was expensive (bc the brand is sustainable)#i've ordered from them before and i remember having the same problem and having to return everything so i really should have known better#sustainably making clothes that don't fucking fit me lmao#🧃
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azrail-has-a-vendetta · 4 months ago
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mafia AU but the AU is that they were adopted/married into a mafia family and everyone is trying very hard to keep it a secret because the character is a literal ray of sunshine and the entire family is trying to protect them.
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tenok · 7 months ago
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#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing — texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely 💯 consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 7 months ago
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Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice
#like I get that you're financially stressed but also it feels a bit rich to complain about it when you're on student allowance (not loan)#and your parents still contribute to things for you even though allowance is supposed to be for people whose parents can't afford to help#and you get multiple scholarships a year even though you're technically not eligible for half of them anymore but then as soon as the money#comes in from those you spend it all on a brand new dress for your sister's hen's do picnic because you can't wear the same dress as you#will for the actual hen's night or the wedding. Better buy a full price one at an expensive store instead of looking in a single op shop or#borrowing one from one of your three sisters who are all roughly the same size#god life must be so tough for you getting the same amount of money as the rest of us on student loan except you only have to pay back half#like the only money you have to live off is the same as what the rest of us get + scholarships (plural) plus what you earnt in your summer#internship? how could you possibly survive??#anyway I am NOT a fan of people who are like 'oh you say you have no money for rent but you have a phone?' because that's bullshit#and the whole 'millenials need to stop eating avocado toast so they can buy a house' thing is also bullshit#however. If you pay $60/week for a gym when you have access to the free uni one (or any other gym in the country is like $20)#and you buy uber eats multiple times a week for like $30+ each time despite having a premade meal in the fridge. and you get multiple#scholarships which mean you are arguably among the more well off students. AND you impulse buy things that cost over $100 regularly#then maybe the problem is not that you don't have enough money to split the rental costs of a washing machine (<$3 each/week)#maybe you are just bad with money#which is fine like it's not like it's unfixable it's just annoying when you act like you're worse off than people whose only money is what#they get from student loan each week so they eat beans on rice for dinner for a week#because that's all they could afford (yes I know people who did this. Yes she complained more than them)#so no I don't think I'm gonna be taking financial advice from you babes because one of us has entertained the idea of a budget to help with#finances and it's not you xx#(she turned down offers of financial help/advice/books to borrow from multiple people multiple times. I 100% get that you might not want to#talk to people about it especially your friends but we had multiple books on finances lying around the flat which she always said she didn't#need. And then she'd continue to complain that she didn't have enough money#god forbid you suggest something like going to a cheaper gym (or worse. The perfectly fine free uni gym!)#again. Her gym cost $60/week for most of last year until they brought in a student discount which was 'only' $45/week#the next most expensive gym chain I can find costs maybe $30/week for the highest membership level#to get what she was getting she would only need like a $20 membership#BUT to be fair she wouldn't get such strong culty vibes at any other gym#lol anyway sorry for the rant. I could keep going but apparently you can only have 30 tags and this is the last one
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nebulousbren · 1 year ago
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Steven Universe is so good actually
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tired-inyxe · 11 months ago
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1: DO NOT IMPULSIVELY BUY SNAKES, ESPECIALLY A CONSTRICTOR. THEY GET HUGE AND NEED A LARGE ENCLOSURE WITH THE CORRECT HEAT AND HUMIDITY REQUIREMENTS
2: Due to the most popular (BY FAR) python on the market being a ball python, I’m going with him buying a juvenile Ball Python impulsively. Ball Pythons are actually a very good beginner snake (I have one! Her names Melon <3), but they’re NOT something you should get on a whim, no live animal is. Ball Pythons need high humidity with high heat, a very hard balance to keep due to the heat burning away the water. They require a lot of effort to up the humidity if you live in a low humidity environment, which shouldn’t be as bad (roughly 40% interior) considering Gotham is a coastal town, but you’d still need a lot of effort to keep that cage humid. Theres, of course, the whole rodent thing. As well as a whole host of other issues. William Snakespeare should be fine considering Damian exists and isn’t an idiot but I cannot stress enough that anyone who isn’t thoroughly educated around an animal SHOULDNT BY THAT ANIMAL. THAT IS A WHOLE ASS LIFE IN YOUR HANDS, TREAT IT AS SUCH
Anyway this is a long ass rant, I just need to make it clear that you should not, under any circumstances, impulse buy a living creature unless you are able to set up a good environment and give it all it needs THE SAME DAY YOU GET IT. That means that unless youre an expert, DO NOT IMPULSE BUY A CREATURE WITH A LIFE!!!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING WITH THE LITERAL LIFE YOUVE PUT IN YOUR HANDS
This isn’t any attack on you, I just feel extremely strongly on this considering how pets are treated (and regularly abused) worldwide. A ball python isn’t a thing you can just buy and leave alone. It will slowly suffer and possibly die. This is an animal that grows to 5 feet long, put them in an 120 gallon (that’s 4 feet x 2 feet x 2 feet btw) enclosure and give them hides, heat and a tropical environment, and feed them for the appropriate times for their age/weight (ranges from a week to a month). If you do that (which isn’t that hard under normal circumstances, just can be expensive), you’ll have a happy and healthy Ball Python
…I didn’t mean to go off here but I’ll chew Dick Grayson out until he’s a puddle of mush, anyway here’s Melon pics for yall :D
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Dick, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?
Tim: You did WHAT–
Jason: William Snakepeare
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esleep · 1 year ago
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i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).
shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.
i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.
when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.
anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.
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chaepink · 1 year ago
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can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?
also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?
dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡
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sub!yandere boys when they date you.
wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist
dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage
note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!
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— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends
— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you
— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe
— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not
— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death
— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school
— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)
— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really
— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call
— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked
— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like
— they're super clingy and always want to be near you
— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours
— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all
— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(
— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you
— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute
— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say
— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes
— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin
— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it
— and oh my god is he so shameless in public
— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around
— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after
"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"
— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)
— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly
— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him
— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating
"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"
— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum
— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough
— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up
— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers
— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat
— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission
— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess
— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment
— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards
— such a slut but we love him for it
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ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink
╰┈➤ masterlist | rules
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orangeblossomsintheair · 1 month ago
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LIONHEART (1/3) – LN4
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summary : lando’s anxious journey as a dad-to-be
wc : 11k
an : this fic is kind of the antithesis of my whole “casual blog” thing but we close our eyes!! not beta read and quite a mess. it’s also longer so i hope that’s okay :>
Lando had always been confident.
On the track, in the spotlight, with a helmet on his head and a steering wheel in his hands. But when you told him you were pregnant, all of that certainty evaporated in an instant.
He just stood there in the middle of your kitchen, staring at you as if you’d just announced you were moving to Mars.
“You’re joking,” he said after a beat, his voice higher than usual, almost squeaky.
“Why would I joke about this?” you replied, holding up the positive test, your own emotions a mix of excitement and nervousness.
He blinked, his aquamarine eyes wide with disbelief, before breaking into a grin so wide it could’ve lit up the whole room. “I’m going to be a dad?”
“Yes, Lando,” you said, trying not to laugh at how genuinely dumbfounded he looked.
“A dad?” he repeated, as though saying it louder would make it sink in faster.
“Yes, Lando,” you said again, this time laughing outright.
He crossed the room in two strides, pulling you into his arms and lifting you off your feet.
He spun you around with an uncontainable excitement, his hoodie brushing against your cheek as he held you tight.
“This is insane,” he mumbled into your hair. “We’re going to be parents!”
“Careful,” you said, swatting at him lightly as he set you down. “You don’t want to shake the baby loose already.”
“Oh, right,” he said, letting go and stepping back. His head jerked up as he processed your words, looking alarmed. “Wait, is that a thing? Can I- are you okay? Are we okay? Is the baby okay?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Lando, I found out like an hour ago. I’m pretty sure we’re fine.”
He paced the kitchen, running a hand through his curls as his grin came and went in waves. “A baby. We’re having a baby. Oh my God. Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know yet, Lando,” you said, sitting down on the couch to watch him spiral. “We’ll find out soon enough.”
“What if it’s twins?” he gasped, spinning around to face you. “Oh, I should call my mum. No, wait, too soon. We need to come up with a plan first. Have you eaten today? You need to eat. Should we go to a doctor? Ooh, they need to be a really good doctor if they’re handling my wife and baby. Should I buy baby books? Do people still read books, or do we just Google everything now?”
“Lando,” you said firmly, grabbing his hand to pull him to a stop. “Breathe.”
He took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, nodding. “Right. Breathing. I can do that.”
He knelt down in front of you, his hands resting gently on your knees. “Sorry, I’m just… this is the biggest thing we’ve ever done.”
You smiled, brushing a curl out of his face. “It is. But we’ve got this, Lando.”
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against your belly, even though it wasn’t showing yet. “Hi in there,” he murmured, his voice soft and filled with wonder. “I’m your dad. I can’t promise I’ll always know what I’m doing, but I promise I’m going to love you more than anything in the world.”
—-
Lando had always been a man of routine– wake up, train, meetings, practice, race, repeat.
But preparing to be a dad? That was a whole different kind of race.
“I need a list,” he muttered one evening, pacing the living room while you sat on the couch, trying not to laugh. “No, like, several lists. One for baby stuff, one for the hospital bag, one for- what else do we need? Is there a book about this? Should I read a book?”
“Lando,” you interrupted gently, “you’re spiraling again.”
“I’m not spiraling! I’m… planning,” he countered, though the way he was raking his hand through his curls said otherwise. “We have to be ready, love. What if the baby comes early? What if I’m away for a race?”
You set aside the baby name book you were half-heartedly skimming and grabbed his hand, pulling him to sit beside you. “We’ll figure it out, okay? You’re doing great.”
He groaned, slumping against the couch. “Am I, though? I can barely keep my plants alive. How am I supposed to keep a tiny human alive?”
“First of all, I’m the one who keeps your plants alive,” you teased, earning a weak laugh from him. “And second, you’re going to be an amazing dad. You care so much already. It’s sweet.”
“But what if I miss something important?” he said, turning to you with wide, anxious eyes. “Like the first kick, or the first cry, or- or- what if you need me and I’m halfway across the world?”
You reached up to smooth his curls, trying to ease his tension. “Lando, you’ve already done so much. The private suite, rearranging your travel schedule to be here for every appointment… You’re balancing everything perfectly.”
—-
The next weekend, Lando was halfway across the world for a race.
He had tried to keep his focus on the track, but his mind kept drifting back to you, sitting at home with your feet propped up, texting him updates about every little thing- what you were craving, how you were feeling, and whether the baby had started kicking.
During a rare free afternoon between practice sessions, he found himself wandering into a bookstore. He had no real plan, he just knew he wanted to learn everything there was to know about being a dad.
The parenting section was tucked in a quiet corner of the shop, and as he stood there surrounded by shelves filled with brightly colored covers promising to teach him how to raise a baby, the weight of it all started to settle in.
At first, Lando was focused, scanning the titles with a determined expression. “The New Dad’s Guide to Baby Basics,” “How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year,” “Sleep Training 101.”
He picked up a few books, flipping through them as if the answers to all his worries might jump out at him.
He grabbed his phone, quickly dialing you.
“Hey, love,” he said, his voice soft and warm. “Quick question- do you think the baby’s gonna like white noise machines? Because this one book says they’re a lifesaver, but another one says they’re not necessary. And then there’s this other chapter about swaddling- do you know how to swaddle? Because I don’t.”
You laughed softly on the other end of the line. “Lando, you’re overthinking again. We’ve got months to figure this all out.”
“I know,” he sighed, running a hand through his curls. “I just… I want to be good at this. I want to be ready.”
And then, as he stood there in the middle of the bookstore, holding a stack of baby books, it hit him.
He was going to be a dad.
The thought wasn’t new. It had been there since the day you told him you were pregnant. But standing there, picturing your little family and the tiny person who was going to look up to him, rely on him, need him… it was overwhelming in the best way.
“Lando?” you said gently, pulling him back to the moment. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, though his voice cracked a little. He cleared his throat, his free hand gripping the book tightly.
“I just-” He laughed nervously. “It’s a lot, you know? I mean, I’m going to be someone’s dad. That’s huge. What if I mess up? I’m practically a child!”
You smiled, wishing you could hug him through the phone. “You won’t mess up. You’re already doing amazing, and the baby’s not even here yet. You care so much, Lando. That’s what matters.”
He took a deep breath, letting your words sink in. “Thanks, love. I just… I want to do this right. For you. For them.”
“You will,” you reassured him. “And for the record, I think the baby’s going to love white noise machines and your ridiculous dad jokes.”
Lando chuckled, the tension in his chest easing slightly. “You think? Because I’ve already got a few saved up. Want to hear one?”
“No,” you teased, laughing. “Save them for when the baby’s old enough to groan at them.”
He grinned, his confidence slowly returning as he balanced the books in his arms. “Okay, okay. I’ll wait. But just so you know, they’re gold.”
After that call, Lando left the store with an armful of books and a heart that was a little fuller, a little steadier.
He still had moments of doubt, of wondering if he was truly ready for this massive change in his life.
But one thing he knew for sure- he couldn’t wait to meet the little person who was already changing his world.
—-
Even as Lando threw himself into preparation mode with the same energy he brought to a race weekend, scouring books and online articles about parenting, he still often got hilariously sidetracked by baby-related gadgets and gear.
“Did you know they make mini race suits for babies?” he asked one night, sprawled across the couch with his phone in hand, his eyes wide with excitement.
You glanced up from your own book, raising an eyebrow. “Lando, the baby’s not even born yet. Don’t you think it’s a little early for racing gear?”
“But imagine the photos!” he argued, sitting up and holding his phone out toward you like it was the discovery of the century.
On the screen was a tiny race suit in McLaren orange. “Our kid’s first photo: full McLaren merch. It’ll be iconic!”
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “Iconic or not, I think diapers are going to be a bigger priority than race suits.”
“Why not both?” he shot back with a grin, already scrolling to find more baby-sized racing gear.
“Oh my god, look at this! miniature headphones for the paddock! Our baby could be sitting in the garage, looking like a proper little team member.”
“Lando,” you said, trying to sound serious but failing as a smile tugged at your lips, “our baby isn’t going to be born straight into a Formula 1 garage.”
He gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. “Blasphemy! Of course they are. It’s practically tradition.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help feeling touched by his enthusiasm. He wasn’t just excited; he was genuinely looking forward to every part of being a dad, even the ridiculous ones.
That wasn’t to say there weren’t more.. unwise moments even with non-racing related baby items.
Like the time he came home from a race weekend with three identical diaper bags.
“Lando,” you said, holding one up. “Why do we need three of these?”
“They’re different brands,” he explained, looking genuinely confused as to why you were asking. “What if one of them is better? Or has more pockets?”
“Pockets?”
“Yeah! Babies need a lot of stuff, right? I saw a mom at the airport with one of these, and she looked like she had her life together. I want you to have your life together too.”
You burst out laughing, and he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Stop laughing! I’m trying to be prepared!”
“You’re overprepared,” you said, setting the bags down and walking over to wrap your arms around him. “But that’s why I love you.”
But it also wasn’t all fun and games.
Lando was determined to be as supportive as possible, especially when it came to your comfort. He took “protective husband” to a whole new level during your first trimester, hovering like an overzealous pit crew.
“Lando, I can still carry my own bag,” you told him one morning as he practically wrestled your tote out of your hands.
“Nope,” he said firmly, slinging it over his shoulder like it was his new personal mission. “You’re carrying our future world champion. I’ve got this.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s a tote bag, not a tire. I think I can manage.”
“Well, I’m not taking any chances,” he replied, puffing out his chest dramatically. “What kind of dad would I be if I let you strain yourself this early?”
“A sane one?” you teased.
He huffed, clutching the bag like it was a trophy. “I’ll ignore that slander. Now, where’s your water bottle? And your snacks? Have you eaten? Do you need to sit down?”
You groaned, rolling your eyes. “Lando, I’m fine. You don’t need to act like I’m about to collapse any second.”
“Not on my watch,” he declared, marching ahead of you with your bag.
“Do you even know how many articles I’ve read about pregnancy? You’re supposed to avoid heavy lifting, stay hydrated, and-”
“-and avoid stress,” you interrupted, smirking. “Which you’re causing right now with all this hovering.”
“I’m helping,” he corrected, spinning around to face you with a determined look. “And besides, you’d thank me if you saw the kind of stuff I’ve been reading. Did you know some women crave chalk during pregnancy? Chalk! What if that happens to you? I need to be prepared!”
“Lando, I’m not craving chalk,” you said, trying not to laugh.
“Not yet,” he countered, narrowing his eyes like it was only a matter of time. “But when you do, I’ll be ready with… I don’t know, chalk alternatives or something.”
“Is that what you’ve been doing on your phone? Researching chalk alternatives?”
“Among other things,” he said with a shrug, completely serious.
“Did you know we might need a whole new mattress? Pregnant people need optimal support. And I saw this thing about belly bands. Do you want one? I can order it right now. Oh! And don’t even get me started on prenatal yoga-”
You reached out to grab his arm, laughing. “Okay, slow down, Mr. Norris. You’re going to give yourself a stress rash before we even get to the second trimester.”
He looked at you sheepishly, his determination softening into a shy smile. “I just… I want to do this right, you know? I’ve never done this before.”
You softened, cupping his cheek. “I know, love. And you’re doing amazing. But you don’t have to do everything perfectly. Just… be here. That’s all I need.”
His shoulders relaxed a little, and he leaned into your touch. “Okay,” he murmured.
Then, after a beat: “But I’m still carrying the bag.”
“Of course you are,” you said, shaking your head as he flashed you that trademark cheeky grin.
From then on, Lando took his role as your personal assistant very seriously. He stocked the fridge with all your favorite snacks, some of which you hadn’t even asked for.
“I saw this article about pickles and peanut butter,” he said one day, holding up a jar. “Do you think you’ll want to try it? Should I get bread?”
“You’re the one who’s going to end up eating it,” you teased.
And when it came to appointments, he was like a man on a mission. He set reminders, packed snacks for the waiting room, and even insisted on bringing a notebook to jot down questions.
“I don’t want to forget anything important,” he said, scribbling furiously while the doctor explained prenatal vitamins.
“You’re going to end up with a full-on pregnancy thesis,” you joked.
“Good,” he replied, deadpan.
“Because I need to know everything.”
He was equal parts adorable and exhausting, but one thing was clear: Lando was already the most devoted dad-to-be you could have asked for.
—-
Lando insisted on attending every single doctor’s appointment, even if it meant rearranging his training schedule or skipping a media event.
He didn’t care what he had to move around, he was going to be there.
Your husband had always been incredibly aware of his public image, and he knew his absence in a lot of McLaren PR videos was beginning to be noticed.
The whispers started subtly at first, just a few fans commenting on his social media posts, wondering why he wasn’t posting as frequently, why he wasn’t sharing his usual behind-the-scenes content.
But over time, it started to get louder. On Twitter, the rumors spread like wildfire.
Fans questioning his commitment to racing, accusing him of not showing up enough for the sport.
He couldn’t give a damn, to be honest.
“I don’t want to miss anything,” he told you one day as you both waited in the ultrasound room.
He was fidgeting with the strap of his McLaren cap, spinning it around in his hands like it was the only thing grounding him.
“What if they show us something important, like the baby’s heartbeat, and I’m not here? I’d never forgive myself.”
“You’ll see everything,” you assured him, lacing your fingers with his and giving his hand a squeeze. “I promise you won’t miss a thing.”
He exhaled deeply but didn’t stop fidgeting. “Do you think they’re okay? Like, really okay? What if the baby’s too small? What if-”
“Lando,” you interrupted gently, giving him a pointed look. “Breathe. Everything’s fine. You’re panicking for nothing.”
He let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, I just... I’ve never been this nervous before. Not even before my first race.”
When the ultrasound tech finally entered the room and began the scan, Lando nearly jumped out of his seat.
He leaned forward, his eyes glued to the screen, his hand clutching yours like it was a lifeline.
“Alright,” the tech said with a kind smile, turning the screen toward you both. “Here’s your baby.”
Lando froze, his eyes wide as the faint image of your baby appeared on the monitor. “That’s… them?” he whispered, his voice barely audible.
“That’s them,” the tech confirmed, moving the wand slightly. “And if you look right here, you’ll see their heartbeat.”
She pointed to a tiny flicker on the screen, and Lando’s breath caught. “Is that… Is that their heart?”
“Yes,” she said warmly. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
Lando’s eyes immediately welled up with tears. He blinked rapidly, clearly trying to keep them from falling, but one slipped down his cheek anyway.
“Oh my God,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “That’s them. That’s our baby.”
You reached up to wipe the tear from his cheek, your own eyes misty. “They’re perfect, aren’t they?”
“They are,” he said, his voice full of awe.
Then he turned to you with the biggest grin you’d ever seen, his face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. “They’ve already got your heart, don’t they?”
“And yours,” you added softly, squeezing his hand.
Lando laughed quietly, his free hand running through his hair. “This is insane. Like, actually insane. That’s a real human. Our human. I don’t even know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” you replied, smiling at him. “Just feel it.”
He nodded, his gaze drifting back to the screen. “They’re so small,” he murmured, almost to himself. Then he let out a shaky laugh.
“God, I hope they get your patience. And your smarts. And maybe your taste in music too, because mine’s questionable at best.”
“They’ll be a little bit of both of us,” you said. “The good and the bad.”
“And hopefully less of the bad,” he joked, his smile growing wider. “Although if they’re anything like me, they’ll probably be a little naughty regardless.”
He spent a few moments just staring in silent awe of the ultrasound before leaning over and pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”
You nodded, resting your head against his shoulder. “More than okay, Lando. We’re going to be great.”
For the rest of the appointment, Lando couldn’t stop staring at the monitor.
He asked the tech at least three times if he could get extra printouts of the ultrasound, and as soon as you left the room, he was texting the photo to his parents.
“You won’t believe this,” he said excitedly as he hit send. “They’re already perfect. I mean, look at them!”
You laughed, shaking your head at his enthusiasm. “You’re going to be insufferable, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely,” he replied with a grin, slipping the ultrasound photo into his wallet like it was his most prized possession.
—-
Lando stood in the kitchen, pacing around the table with the cake in front of him.
His hands were a blur, adjusting every little decoration as if this one cake would determine the future of the entire Norris family.
He wiped his brow for what felt like the tenth time, clearly worked up.
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Lando asked again, his voice laced with nerves, as he fiddled with the tiny blue and pink ribbons on top of the cake.
You raised an eyebrow, watching him with a grin. “Lando, it’s just cake. I don’t need a fireworks show or a parade. Just let me eat it. We’re finding out if we’re having a mini-me or mini-you today, not the cure for world hunger.”
He looked at you, eyes wide with mock concern. “I know! But this is important, okay? This cake isn’t just cake. It’s the cake that’s gonna reveal if our baby’s gonna have my style or your... I don’t know, your taste in TV shows.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, so my TV shows are the problem now? I seem to remember you binge-watching those ridiculous reality shows last week.”
Lando chuckled, adjusting the cake for the third time. “Fine. But I will not apologize for the occasional guilty pleasure, okay?”
Before you could fire back, there was a knock at the door, and Lando’s parents stormed in, as excited as ever, clearly eager to be part of the big reveal.
His mom was practically jumping up and down, already holding a bottle of champagne in one hand.
“Alright, alright, we ready for this?!” she practically shouted, already bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Lando, you didn’t mess up the cake, did you?”
Lando puffed out his chest, trying to seem cool, but you could tell he was as jittery as a kid before Christmas. “What do you think? I’m a pro. I’ve got this under control.”
His dad leaned in and clapped him on the back with a knowing look. “Sure, sure. It’s just cake, son. Don’t overthink it.”
“Easy for you to say!” Lando replied, rolling his eyes but clearly taking comfort in his dad’s easy confidence.
“Do I need to set up a tent or something for you? I can go grab the calm-down snacks,” his mom teased, already rifling through the bags of baby gifts she had brought with her.
Lando gave her a playful glare. “I’m fine, Mom. I’m just...you know, a little excited.”
He turned back to the cake, brushing his hands against his jeans as if trying to shake off his nerves. “Right. Big moment.”
You crossed your arms, trying to stifle your laughter at the drama of it all. “You know, you’re acting like you’re about to drive the final lap of a Grand Prix, not slice a cake, right?”
Lando shot you a look, half guilty, half defensive. “What do you mean? This is important, okay?”
“Yeah, because the world is watching,” you quipped, leaning against the counter with a grin.
“Absolutely! What if the cake doesn’t come out perfectly? What if it’s not the right color? What if-”
“Lando,” you interrupted with a chuckle, “I’m pretty sure it’ll be okay if it’s not perfect. It’s just a cake.”
He sighed dramatically. “You don’t get it. This is a moment. A huge one! I can’t mess this up.”
(Lando’s parents exchanged amused glances. “He’s got it bad, huh?” his dad whispered to his mom.
“Oh, you don’t even know,” she replied with a wink.)
“You’re really sure you’re not panicking?” you teased, nudging him, raising an eyebrow.
Lando flashed you a grin. “Nope. I’ve totally got it handled. This is the most important moment of our lives, and I’m... handling it.”
The room filled up with laughter and chatter as family and friends settled into their spots, everyone eager to be a part of the big moment.
The cake, a simple vanilla sponge with soft pastel decorations, sat in front of you all like a ticking clock. Lando’s hands hovered above it, shaking slightly as he gripped the knife.
You placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Lando, it’s going to be fine.”
He gave you a nervous smile. “Yeah, I know. I’m just- just a little excited.”
He cut the first slice carefully, holding his breath. His eyes darted between the cake and you, trying to gauge the moment, the color, the reaction.
“Is it-” Lando’s mom leaned forward, eager and almost bouncing in her seat. “Is it blue or pink?”
When Lando saw the blue filling spill out from the cake, it was like a switch flipped inside him.
His hands trembled for a moment, and then, without warning, his lips curled into a grin so wide it could have lit up the whole room.
He threw his arms up in the air, as if he’d just crossed the finish line, his chest puffing out like he’d just clinched a Grand Prix victory.
“YES!” he yelled, his voice carrying the excitement and relief of a race win. He even did a little fist pump, completely caught up in the moment, forgetting the cake still had to be served.
His family burst into laughter, but Lando didn't care. He was riding high on the adrenaline of the moment, his face flushed with joy. He turned to you, eyes wide and sparkling, as if the world had just handed him the greatest trophy imaginable.
“I’ve got a son! A SON! I’m gonna be a dad to a little boy!” he exclaimed, his voice rising in a playful tone, as if he was addressing a crowd at a podium.
“Lando, you’re not actually racing a Grand Prix right now,” you said, your laughter shaking your voice. “You don’t need to act like you just won Monaco!”
Lando paused for a split second, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Oh, but I am! This is my Monaco moment!”
—-
Before your son arrived, the two of you spent countless hours brainstorming names, debating, and laughing at your ideas, the excitement of becoming parents finally hitting both of you.
You sat on the couch in the private suite, your legs curled up underneath you as you flicked through baby name books.
Lando, sprawled beside you with his laptop open, occasionally paused to glance at you, a goofy grin on his face.
“You know what would be funny?” Lando said, his eyes lighting up. “If we named him after a race track. Like, Monaco or Spa.”
You raised an eyebrow, amused but skeptical. “Monaco? Really? We’re naming our kid after a place?”
Lando shrugged with a playful grin. “It’s iconic. Imagine saying, ‘This is my son, Spa Norris.’ Sounds like he’s destined to be a Formula 1 champion, right?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, that’s not going to fly. I’m not going to name our son after a race track, Lando.”
He pouted, pretending to be disappointed. “You’re no fun. I thought you’d be into it.”
You shot him a playful look. “Well, if you’re going to go that route, we might as well name him something like 'Aston' or 'Ferrari'.”
Lando dramatically gasped. “Ferrari Norris?” he echoed, as if he’d just had an epiphany. “That actually sounds pretty cool.” He immediately began typing it into his phone. “Imagine the headlines: ‘Little Ferrari Norris shows up at the karting track, stealing the show already.’”
You chuckled, giving him a teasing nudge. “Okay, okay. Let’s put a pin in that one, but seriously, we need something that isn’t a car or a race track. We need to think long-term. He’s not going to be five years old forever.”
Lando sat back, tapping his fingers on the side of his laptop, deep in thought. “How about Maximus? It sounds strong, right?”
You gave him a flat look. “You realize that would just end up as Max, and then we’d have to deal with every comparison to Verstappen and Max, right?”
Lando’s eyes widened slightly as you pointed out the potential issue. He paused, tapping his fingers on the laptop as he processed your words.
“Oh, right,” he said slowly, running a hand through his hair. “Maximus could be a disaster. Imagine our kid being called Max every time. He’ll spend his whole life being compared to Verstappen, and Max.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, not ideal. We’re already in the spotlight enough with you and everything, we don’t need to add fuel to the fire.”
Lando groaned, slouching slightly in his chair. “Okay, so no Maximus. What about... Thor? Sounds strong, right? A god or something.”
You blinked, trying to keep a straight face. “Lando, we're naming our kid, not preparing him for a Marvel movie.”
“I’m just saying,” he grinned, holding his hands up in mock defense. “Thor Norris. Sounds pretty cool, right? Imagine him on the playground.”
“Yeah, until he gets bullied for being named after a thunder god,” you replied with a teasing smile. “We want a name that’s strong, but also, you know, normal.”
Lando sighed dramatically, rubbing his temples. “Why is this so hard? This is supposed to be the fun part!”
“Because you're overthinking it,” you said, leaning over to ruffle his hair. “We don't need to make him sound like a superhero. We need something that suits him, something that feels right.”
Lando scrolled through a few more names on his phone. “What about Leo? You know, like the lion?”
You looked over at him, a thoughtful expression crossing your face. “Leo.. huh, I kind of like that.”
Lando met your gaze, his smile softening. “I do too. It feels strong. But it’s also… warm. I can imagine him growing up with that name.”
You smiled, already picturing your son, little Leo, chasing after you both in a go-kart, or laughing as he wore his tiny McLaren onesie.
“I think that’s the one,” you said softly, your heart warming at the thought of it.
Lando nodded, his voice quieter now. “Leo Norris. Yeah… I like it.”
You both sat there for a while, soaking in the reality that soon, you’d have a little one to love and raise.
A mix of excitement and nervous energy filled the air. But above it all, you both felt the quiet, comforting certainty that you’d chosen the right name.
“Leo Norris,” Lando repeated, his grin returning. “You’re going to be so cool, little guy.”
—-
By the time the baby’s due date was right around the corner, Lando had practically perfected the art of juggling his high-pressure career with impending fatherhood.
He FaceTimed you every chance he got during race weekends, even if it was just for a few minutes, to check in and ask how you and the baby were doing.
Every call was an opportunity for him to make silly faces at your growing belly, as if your unborn child could already understand what he was doing.
“How’s my little team doing today?” Lando asked, his face beaming from the screen, grinning like a kid with a secret.
You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘little team’? It’s still just one person, you know.”
He paused, holding his hands up as though giving you a game plan. “It’s all about the future, babe. Right now, it’s just me and you, but soon, we’re gonna have our first real team member. And I’m gonna be the best team principal there ever was.” He winked, clearly enjoying the idea.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Uh-huh. Sure. First, you have to figure out how to change a diaper before you’re giving out performance reviews.”
Lando's grin faded slightly, and his expression became more serious. “I can change a tire under pressure, but... a diaper? You’re sure I’m gonna be okay with that?”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “You’ve changed car tires with a stopwatch ticking down. A diaper is like... one percent of the stress.”
Lando scratched his head, clearly still not totally convinced. “Yeah, but there’s a lot more wiggle with a baby than with a tire.”
You chuckled, hearing the nerves in his voice despite his usual cocky demeanor. “I’m sure you’ll manage. You’re gonna be a great dad. Besides, how bad can it be? Worst-case scenario, we just put him in a McLaren onesie and call it a day.”
Lando’s eyes lit up. “Wait, does McLaren make baby clothes?” he asked, suddenly distracted, pulling out his phone.
You sighed, trying not to laugh. “Focus, Lando, the baby comes first, not McLaren merch.”
But he didn’t hear you.
He was too busy scrolling through his phone, searching for baby-sized McLaren gear. “Just imagine! Tiny little race suits! Our kid’s first proper race suit! It’ll be legendary*”
You smirked. “Right, because that’s all a baby needs, to be decked out in McLaren gear. A future world champion and fashion icon.”
Lando nodded seriously, still scrolling. “Exactly. The sooner they start looking the part, the sooner they’ll feel the pressure to deliver.”
You shook your head, your lips curving into a smile. “You’re definitely going to spoil this kid rotten.”
“I’m just preparing them for greatness!” Lando declared, his voice mock-serious. “Besides, they’re going to have someone to look up to.”
You laughed, a soft teasing tone in your voice. “You mean you? The guy who keeps asking me if he’ll be cool enough for a toddler?”
Lando looked at you, eyebrows furrowing with mock panic. “I just want them to think I’m cool, okay? What if they’re disappointed? What if they grow up to think I’m just some guy who drives a car really fast and wears too many McLaren hats?”
You snorted, not even trying to hide your amusement. “Lando, you drive a Formula 1 car for a living. I think you’ll manage to impress a toddler.”
“Yeah, well, toddlers are tough critics,” he muttered, flopping back onto his bed. “What if they want a cooler dad? Like, what if they see some famous soccer player or something and think he’s way cooler than their dad?”
“Lando, the kid isn’t even born yet, and you’re already stressing about being the coolest parent?” You shook your head, trying to hold back laughter. “Relax. You’re gonna be the coolest dad, hands down.”
“You really think so?” Lando asked, his tone suddenly turning sincere, a soft smile curling his lips.
“Absolutely,” you replied, your voice full of confidence. “You’re gonna be amazing. And anyway, when they get older, they'll think you're the coolest just because you drive an F1 car. That’s literally a dream job for kids.”
Lando smiled at you through the screen, clearly reassured. “Alright, alright. I can live with that.” He paused for a moment, his
“I’m gonna train them up. Baby steps, right? First, it’s McLaren onesies. Then, they’ll be driving go-karts by five.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “I think you’ve got a few years before that happens, buddy.”
—-
Lando had been pacing the living room for what felt like hours, his hands in his hair and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.
You watched him from the couch, amused by how obviously he was working up the courage to say something.
Finally, unable to take his fidgeting any longer, you set your book down and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Alright, spill it,” you said, crossing your arms.
He stopped pacing, turning to you with a sheepish grin. “Okay, don’t get mad, but… can I tell Carlos?”
You blinked at him, confused. “Tell Carlos what?”
“The baby!” Lando blurted, throwing his hands in the air. “I swear I won’t say anything to anyone else, but I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t tell someone. And Carlos, he’s my best mate in the paddock, you know? and I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t tell someone. He’s good at keeping secrets! Remember when I told him about… well, you know…”
You smirked. “The time you accidentally spilled coffee all over Zak’s favorite race notes and blamed the wind?”
Lando groaned, running a hand through his curls. “Yes, that! He didn’t tell anyone!”
He leaned in closer, his big, pleading eyes locking onto yours. “Please, love. I need someone to talk to about this in the paddock. I promise it’ll stay between me and him. And you, of course. You’re the boss.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head with a smile.
“But adorable?” he pressed, grinning mischievously.
You laughed, shaking your head at his antics. “Alright, alright. You can tell Carlos. But only Carlos. If I see headlines about ‘Baby Norris’ next week, I’m blaming you.”
Lando let out a victorious whoop, throwing his arms around you and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You won’t regret this, I promise! I’ll handle it perfectly.”
“Uh-huh,” you teased. “Just don’t come crying to me if he accidentally tells the entire grid.”
“He won’t!” Lando assured you, already pulling out his phone. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Spaniard to swear into secrecy.”
—-
Lando, despite his enthusiasm around friends and family, had always been the type to keep his personal life as far away from the media as possible, especially when it came to you and your pregnancy.
He’d pulled you aside earlier on, his brow furrowed in a mix of excitement and concern.
“I just want to protect you from all that stress, love,” he’d said softly, his hands resting on your shoulders. “The media’s only gonna make everything harder. Let’s keep it to ourselves and family and friends until we’re ready.”
You’d agreed, knowing his intention was to shield you from any unnecessary pressure.
So, you kept things under wraps, avoiding public appearances and letting Lando handle the media while you focused on your health and well-being.
But as your pregnancy progressed and your bump started to show, it became harder to stay out of the public eye.
At first, you’d manage to sneak in a few appearances, sitting in the background, away from the cameras. But soon, you started pulling back even more, skipping races altogether. The tabloids, however, didn’t miss a beat.
Lando was pacing back and forth in your living room, muttering to himself as he read through the latest batch of articles about him and your supposed divorce.
You could practically see the frustration building in him. He was giving off full-on whiny vibes, and you couldn't help but smirk at how ridiculous the whole thing seemed.
“I swear, they’ve completely lost their minds!” Lando groaned, throwing his phone down onto the couch with a dramatic flair. “What do they mean we’re getting divorced? Have they seen you? Why would I ever, ever, let you go?”
You leaned back on the couch, trying to keep your composure as he began pacing again. “Lando, calm down. It’s just the media. They love making stuff up.”
“No, it’s not just the media!” he whined, stopping mid-pacing to stare at you. “This is serious! They think I’m out here with a divorce like that’s even a thing. I’m happily married! You’re at home growing our kid, not plotting some dramatic breakup!”
You tried to hold back your laugh, but Lando’s whining was getting funnier by the second. “Babe, seriously, it’s not the end of the world. You’re acting like the tabloids are going to come for us with pitchforks.”
“I’m just-” He paused, running his hands through his hair like he was about to pull it out.
“I’m just trying to figure out how they got this idea. I’m not... like, I’m not perfect, but come on! Look at you! You’re gorgeous, and we’re over here living our best life, why would I ever let you go?”
You grinned, giving him a teasing side-eye. “Aww, are you saying I’m too good for you?”
Lando froze, turning to you with wide eyes. “No! I mean, yes, but no!” He huffed dramatically, flopping down onto the couch next to you. “You’re perfect! You’re the perfect wife! And you’re the one who makes everything better, and now they’re out here saying I’m getting divorced? No! That’s not how this works!”
You reached over, resting your hand on his, trying to hold back your own laughter. “Lando, babe, it’s just rumors. People are bored. They don’t know anything, and they’re making stuff up. Just ignore it.”
He looked at you like you’d just suggested the impossible.
“Ignore it? How am I supposed to ignore this? They’re making me look like the worst husband in the world! Divorce? I’ve been married for, like, what, five minutes? And now I’m already getting a bad rep? This is ridiculous!”
You snorted, finally giving in to the humor of the situation. “Okay, okay, so how are you planning to fix it? Go out there and shout from the rooftops?”
Lando sighed heavily, clearly still upset. “I don’t know! Maybe I should just do an entire press conference. ‘Hello, everyone, just in case there was any doubt, I’m not divorced! I’m happily married! And I’m going home to my gorgeous wife and our baby, who will totally not grow up to be a Formula 1 driver, I promise.’”
You couldn’t stop laughing now. “Babe, just post a picture of us and say ‘Still happily married’ that’ll do the trick.”
Lando groaned in frustration. “But why do I have to do that? Why can’t people just know? It’s like they’ve forgotten what happiness looks like. They’re just out here making up stories!”
You patted his leg, smiling fondly at him. “You’re cute when you get worked up, you know that?”
He shot you a look. “I’m serious! This is outrageous. I swear, if I see one more headline about our ‘divorce,’ I’m gonna lose it.”
“Alright, alright,” you said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Calm down. It’s just noise. We know what’s real.”
Lando pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not a fan of this noise. It’s too much, and I just want to be left alone to focus on being an amazing husband and father. Is that too much to ask?”
You smiled, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “No, love. It’s not too much to ask. But maybe, just maybe, try to ignore the headlines for once?”
He sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll try. But if they start talking about me again... I’m calling a press conference.”
—-
Lando had just finished a grueling race, his face flushed with exertion but still carrying that unmistakable grin.
He was on cloud nine, but he could already sense the usual flood of media around him. It was never just about the race with him, it was always about something else, something personal.
As he was making his way to the interview zone, one journalist, eager to get the scoop, stepped in front of him with a grin.
“Lando, congratulations on the win! How’s everything going with your wife? We’ve heard a lot of speculation recently, some rumors flying around about your relationship. Can you clear that up for us?”
Lando froze mid-step, his brow furrowing. The questions about his relationship with you had been relentless recently, but this, this was the last straw.
The media had taken their guesses and spun them into wild stories. He had kept quiet for as long as possible, but today, something inside him snapped.
“Rumors?” Lando repeated, voice low but filled with frustration.
He glanced over at his PR team, who were silently freaking out in the background, and then he turned back to the reporter, a small, sarcastic smirk pulling at his lips. “Yeah, here’s the thing.”
He paused, taking a deep breath. His hands were shaking from the adrenaline of the race, but his eyes were laser-focused on the reporter.
“Here’s the thing,” Lando said again, this time louder, looking directly into the camera, “I’m going to give a shout-out to my beautiful wife right now, and to hell with everyone else. To all the tabloids, the rumors, and the people making things up… fuck you. I love my wife. She’s amazing. We’re happy. Now, can we get back to the racing?”
Lando’s eyes burned with a mixture of frustration and determination as he stood there, refusing to back down.
The crowd of reporters and cameras around him seemed to freeze for a moment, unsure of how to react to his sudden outburst.
“Seriously,” he continued, his voice steadier now, but still tinged with that raw intensity, “I’ve kept quiet for as long as I can. I get it, you want the drama, you want the headlines.”
He glanced around at the sea of microphones pointed at him, his gaze intense. The silence hung heavy in the air, broken only by the hum of distant chatter.
“But I’m here to race,” he added, his jaw clenched. “So, let me make it clear. My wife and I are doing great. I’m not hiding anything from anyone. The only thing I’m focused on is the fact that I just finished on a podium position, and that's what matters.”
For a moment, he allowed himself to breathe, his chest still rising and falling from the aftershocks of the race and the adrenaline of the moment.
The reporter, still holding the microphone, looked almost shocked by Lando’s outburst, but before they could get another word in, Lando raised his hand, cutting them off.
“I’ve had enough,” he said firmly. “So here’s the deal. To everyone who wants to keep spreading rumors or digging into our lives. Don’t. And to my wife, if you’re watching this, I love you. You’re incredible.”
There was a brief moment of silence, and then, with a final glance at the camera, Lando broke into a grin.
“And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a celebration to get to. See you at the next race.”
With that, he turned, walking away from the reporters, leaving them dumbfounded and speechless. His PR team scrambled behind him, clearly trying to catch up and figure out how to spin this into something less... explosive, but Lando wasn’t having it.
He was done with the noise, done with the rumors. And if the media wanted a story, they could have that one because he wasn’t hiding his love for you, and he wasn’t going to let anyone tell a different story.
Back in the paddock, as he made his way toward the celebration, he pulled out his phone, sending you a quick text: “Hey, I may have just lost my cool on live TV but don’t worry, it was for you. Love you always 🧡”
As soon as the text sent, Lando couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
—-
When you saw the text pop up on your phone, you blinked at it for a moment, reading it over a few times to make sure you weren’t misinterpreting things.
You didn’t have a chance to misinterpret anything when you were bombarded by videos of Lando’s recent stunt by your friends and family.
You froze.
The sheer audacity of him, of his love for you, left you speechless for a moment.
Of course, Lando had always been passionate, always been the kind of person who wasn’t afraid to stand up for what mattered to him. But this?
This was a whole other level. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, a combination of shock and amusement.
You immediately hit the video call button, your heart racing.
When his face appeared on the screen, he was still beaming with that grin he wore after a good race, sweaty, glowing, and impossibly handsome.
But then, his eyes widened when he saw the expression on your face.
“What?” he asked, still out of breath from the race, his grin fading a little. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
You couldn’t help yourself. “Lando Norris,” you began, trying to keep your voice steady, “did you just… tell everyone to fuck off on live TV?!”
His eyes grew comically wide, and he immediately slapped a hand to his forehead, groaning dramatically as if he was ashamed of his actions. “I swear I didn’t mean to-”
“Oh, you didn’t mean to?!” you interrupted, laughing uncontrollably, clutching your stomach from how hard you were giggling. “Lando, that was literally a full-on ‘fuck you’ to the media! And you said it was for me?!”
He flushed, sheepish but still trying to hide his growing smile. “Look, okay, I was just- uh- tired of the rumors, alright? And when they asked about you- about us- I just kind of... lost it. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to make sure they all knew how much I love you. How happy we are.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, still laughing, wiping a tear from your eye. “You’re really doing a great job of showing that. It was the most Lando Norris thing you could’ve done!”
Lando leaned back against the wall, clearly embarrassed but still that familiar, playful Lando you knew and loved. “I didn’t think it’d go that far,” he muttered, but then his grin returned. “But you know what? Fuck it. They can say what they want.”
You let out a breath, finally calming down, though you were still grinning. “You are such a dork,” you said, shaking your head with affection. “But I love you for it. Seriously. I never thought I’d be watching you on TV yelling at the media like that.”
He puffed out his chest, doing a little dramatic bow. “What can I say? I’m just a man in love.”
“I’m starting to think you’re also a man who has no filter,” you teased, leaning in closer to the screen. “But I can’t deny, it’s kind of… hot.”
Lando’s cheeks flushed at that, and he let out a chuckle. “Oh, now you’re really making me blush. I can’t believe I just did that...”
“You definitely made a statement,” you said, the smile still playing on your lips. “The whole world now knows you’re not just a great driver- you're a very passionate husband, apparently. Also, good luck with your PR team after that one.”
“Oh, they’re probably freaking out right now,” Lando said with a knowing grin. “But hey, at least I got to make things clear.”
You paused for a moment, letting his words settle. “You know what, Lando? I really appreciate it. I know the media can be overwhelming, and I’m glad you’re doing what you can to protect us, even if it means embarrassing yourself a little. But just... maybe next time? You could, I don’t know, use a little less profanity?”
“Right,” he said, nodding seriously. “Next time, I’ll scream it in sign language. Less dramatic, more subtle.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled with affection. “You’re impossible.”
“I know,” he grinned. “But I’m your impossible.”
—-
When the end of the racing season finally rolled around, Lando could hardly contain his excitement.
The grueling months of races, travel, and endless media commitments were finally over, and he was about to have a few weeks of uninterrupted time with you and the baby.
The weight of the season had been heavy, and now that it was over, he felt like he could breathe again, and it felt amazing.
For weeks leading up to the last race, Lando had been counting down the days.
The moment he heard the announcement that the season was officially over, his excitement bubbled over. He was practically buzzing with anticipation, his usual calm and collected persona giving way to a wide, ear-to-ear grin.
It was as if the pressure of racing and all the responsibilities had just melted away, and he was ready to dive straight into a new kind of excitement, one that involved a lot more time at home with you.
You were sitting on the couch, relaxing after your own busy day, scrolling through your phone, when you heard the familiar sound of
Lando’s boots hitting the floor. He was almost running, and his footsteps were light and fast, as if he couldn’t wait to see you.
“Babe!” he shouted, throwing his bag down with abandon, his voice practically singing with happiness.
Without a second thought, he rushed over to where you were sitting, scooping you up into his arms like you weighed nothing at all. He spun you around once, a burst of laughter escaping his lips.
“I’m home, I’m home, I’m home!” he repeated, his grin so wide it almost seemed to stretch across his face.
You couldn’t help but laugh as his excitement flooded the room, feeling the warmth of his embrace. "Well, I can tell you’re happy about the season being over," you teased, giving him a playful look as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“I’m more than happy,” he replied, his eyes sparkling with joy. “I’m ecstatic. Finally, a break. No planes, no races, no media, just me, you, and... well, you know, our little one,” he added, glancing down at your belly with a soft smile.
“Sounds perfect,” you said, feeling the love in his words. “I think we both deserve a break.”
Lando nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t wait to just be home with you. I’ve missed so much of this year, and now I get to make up for it. I’ve got so many plans. We can do all the things we’ve been talking about, prepare the nursery, take walks together, have breakfast in bed, watch terrible movies... you know, all the usual relaxing stuff.”
You raised an eyebrow, amused by his enthusiasm. “Breakfast in bed every day, huh? That’s a bold claim.”
“I’m up for the challenge,” he grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. “I’m making the most of this time. No more rushing around, no more stress. Just time with you, our little one, and whatever chaos we manage to create together.”
He flopped down onto the couch beside you, pulling you in closer. His hand found its way to your growing belly, and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he gently placed his hand there. “I’m so ready for this next chapter, you know? I know the last few months have been crazy, but this... this is going to be perfect.”
—-
Lando stood in the middle of the nearly-finished nursery, hands on his hips, looking ridiculously proud of himself. The room was stunning.
Soft, neutral tones, sleek furniture that didn’t scream “baby” but still felt warm and inviting, and subtle touches of personality like a tiny McLaren-themed mobile hanging above the crib.
“You know,” he said, turning to you with a grin, “I think I’ve outdone myself. Custom everything. No IKEA in sight. You’re welcome.”
You raised an eyebrow from where you were sitting on the plush nursery chair he’d insisted be upholstered with "only the softest fabric money can buy."
“You do realize you’ve spent more on this room than most people spend on their entire house, right?”
He shot you a mock-offended look. “Excuse me for wanting the best for our baby. It’s called quality assurance.”
He scoffed, gesturing at the solid oak crib. “This bad boy? Handmade by some guy in Sweden who’s apparently a genius with wood. And the changing table? Designed by an actual ergonomist! No sore backs for us.”
You tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t help laughing. “Lando, it’s a baby. They’re not going to care if their crib is custom-made or from IKEA. They’ll drool on it all the same.”
He gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. “Excuse me! Our baby deserves the best! The absolute best. I’m not about to put our kid in some flimsy crib where one tantrum could bring it down.”
“Pretty sure you’re the only one throwing tantrums right now,” you teased.
He ignored you, walking over to the rocking chair and giving it an experimental sway. “This chair, by the way? Perfect for late-night story time. I tested at least twenty before I found the one.”
“You sat in twenty rocking chairs?”
“Of course,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What if I’d chosen one that squeaked or wasn’t comfy enough for cuddles? I’m thinking ahead, love.”
“Thinking ahead is spending three months’ salary on a nursery?”
“Investment,” he corrected, plopping down beside you with a satisfied sigh.
“And it’s not just the furniture. Look at the details. That mobile? Custom order. The wallpaper? Hand-painted by some artist in Italy. Even the shelves are organized by height so the books will be easier to grab when the baby’s older. I’m not messing around.”
You shook your head, still smiling. “It’s beautiful, Lando. Really. You’ve done an amazing job.”
“Of course I have,” he said smugly, leaning back. But after a moment, his expression softened. “I just… I want everything to be perfect, you know? For them. For you. I want this room to feel safe and special and like… like a little haven.”
Your heart melted as you reached out to take his hand. “It already does, babe. It’s perfect because you made it with love.”
“Also with a ridiculous amount of money,” he added, flashing you a cheeky grin.
You laughed. “That, too.”
Lando leaned down to kiss your forehead, his voice full of affection. “Anything for you two. Now, all that’s left is to teach the baby to say ‘McLaren’ before anything else.”
You laughed, pulling back to give him a playful shove. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Fine,” he said with a wink. “Second word, then.”
—-
When the day finally came, Lando was fresh off a meeting with his team, when your water broke in the middle of your living room.
“Now?” he yelped, nearly dropping the cup of tea he’d just handed you. His wide, panicked eyes darted between you and the puddle forming at your feet. “It’s happening now?”
“Yes, Lando, now!” you snapped, clutching your belly as another contraction hit.
He spun in circles for a moment, muttering to himself, “Keys, keys, where did I- oh, my God, this is happening.”
“Lando!” you barked, cutting through his panic.
“Yes, yes! Okay! Keys! Bag! You!” He grabbed the hospital bag you’d packed weeks ago, slung it over one shoulder, then hesitated. “Wait, do you need me to carry you? Should I-”
“Just get me to the car!”
In record time, he managed to get you into the passenger seat, though not without fumbling with your seatbelt for what felt like an eternity.
“I race cars for a living,” he muttered to himself, hands trembling as he buckled you in. “Why is this harder than a pit stop?”
“Because a pit stop doesn’t scream at you every five minutes,” you shot back, gripping the door handle as another contraction rippled through your body.
---
At the hospital, Lando was a walking ball of nerves. He practically burst into the maternity ward, announcing to the nurses, “My wife’s having a baby! Right now! Like, right now!”
One of the nurses calmly guided you to a room, giving Lando a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “First-time dad?” she asked with a knowing smile.
“Is it that obvious?” he mumbled, following behind like a lost puppy.
Inside the delivery room, Lando couldn’t sit still. He paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. “Are they supposed to take this long? Shouldn’t someone check on her again? Is she okay? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Lando,” you groaned through clenched teeth. “But if you don’t stop pacing, I might strangle you before this baby gets here.”
He froze mid-step, holding his hands up in surrender. “Right. No pacing. Got it. I’ll just... stand here.”
Once he could actually think past his panic, Lando immediately whipped out his phone, his fingers fumbling over the screen as he dialed his parents. The phone barely rang once before his mom answered.
“Lando? Everything okay?” her voice was calm but laced with concern, likely from the sheer urgency of his call.
“Mum! She’s in labor!” Lando practically shouted into the phone, his words tumbling out at record speed. “Like, actual labor. Right now. We’re at the hospital. It’s happening!”
“Oh, Lando, that’s wonderful!” his mom exclaimed, her tone immediately switching to excitement. “How is she? How are you?”
“She’s... well, she’s in labor!” Lando replied, running a hand through his already tousled curls. “I think she’s fine, but I don’t know! She might be mad at me for pacing too much. I stopped though. Well, sort of. Anyway, can you and Dad get here? Like, now?”
“We’re on our way, love,” she reassured him with a laugh.
By the time his parents arrived, just minutes later, Lando’s initial excitement had given way to full-blown panic. He was sitting in the corner of the room, staring at his hands, muttering under his breath.
“Do you think the baby will like me? What if they don’t like me? What if I’m a terrible dad? Oh my God, I forgot to pack snacks! What kind of dad forgets snacks?”
His parents stepped into the room, his mom taking one look at him and immediately placing a hand on his shoulder. “Lando, breathe,” she said gently, her eyes crinkling with amusement.
He jumped up at their arrival, waving his hands around. “I can’t breathe, Mum! Do you know how much responsibility this is? I’m going to be someone’s dad! What if I drop the baby? What if I don’t hold them right? Or they cry every time they see me? I-”
His dad cut him off with a firm but comforting hand on his back. “You’re going to be fine, son. You’ve got this.”
Lando looked over at you, lying on the hospital bed, still managing to roll your eyes at his dramatics despite the situation. “Does she think I’ve got this?” he asked, gesturing to you.
You groaned, partly from the contraction and partly from his antics. “Lando, if you don’t stop spiraling, I’ll personally make sure you get kicked out of this delivery room.”
His mom laughed, stepping closer to you. “She’s got it under control, doesn’t she?”
“She always does,” Lando muttered, his wide eyes darting between you and the monitors. “But what if I’m not ready, Mum?” he whispered, leaning closer to his mother as if it were a secret.
His mom reached up, brushing a curl from his forehead. “You’ll be ready when you see your baby for the first time, Lando. Trust me. You’ve already proven you’ll do whatever it takes to be a great dad. Now stop worrying and be there for your wife.”
Lando nodded, taking a deep breath and straightening up. Then he turned to you with newfound determination. “Okay. What do you need, love? Water? Ice chips? A—”
“A calm husband,” you interrupted, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Right,” he said, nodding rapidly. “Calm husband. Got it.”
And for the next two minutes, he actually managed to stay calm. Until the nurse walked in and said, “Alright, it’s time to push.”
Then all bets were off.
---
When your son (your son!) finally arrived after hours of labor, the world seemed to pause. Lando stood frozen as one of the nurses handed him the tiny, swaddled baby. His hands shook as he cradled Leo against his chest, staring down at him in awe.
His aquamarine eyes were wide as he stared down at the newborn. “Wow,” he whispered, his voice shaky. “He’s... so small. Like, really small. Are we sure he’s okay?”
“Lando, he’s a baby,” you said, exasperated but smiling, the exhaustion hitting you in waves. “They’re supposed to be small.”
“Yeah, but this small?” he asked, carefully holding Leo as if he were made of glass. He glanced at the nurse for reassurance. “Is this normal? What if I break him?”
The nurse chuckled. “You won’t, Mr. Norris. Just make sure to support his head, and you’ll be fine.”
“Support his head,” Lando repeated, adjusting his grip like he was handling the most fragile trophy in the world. Then he looked down at your son again, a mixture of awe and terror on his face. “Hey, little guy,” he murmured. “It’s, uh... it’s me. Your dad. I’m new at this, so, uh, go easy on me, yeah?”
You laughed softly, despite the ache in your body. “He’s not going to grade you, Lando.”
“Good, because I’m already giving myself a D+,” he muttered, carefully sitting beside you on the hospital bed.
Lando looked up at you, his eyes glassy. “You did so good,” he said softly. “So, so good. Thank you for... for him.”
As the tiny bundle in his arm let out a tiny whimper, Lando instinctively rocked him, whispering, “Shh, mate, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”
“You’re a natural,” the nurse commented, smiling as she adjusted your blankets.
“Really?” Lando glanced up, his grin sheepish but full of pride. “Because I feel like I’m one wrong move away from dropping him.”
“You won’t,” you reassured him, reaching out to touch his arm. “You’re already amazing.”
He smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re the amazing one. I mean, you just made a person. How insane is that?”
As he sat beside you, still holding him as if he were the most precious thing in the world.
You rested your head against his shoulder, watching as he studied every tiny feature of Leo’s face. “He’s got my eyes,” he murmured, awed.
“And your gap-toothed smile too, probably,” you teased.
He chuckled, brushing a fingertip gently over Leo’s tiny hand. “That’s not a bad thing. He’ll be unstoppable. Just wait until he sees his first go-kart.”
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cupid3clipse · 23 days ago
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dom!thanos x fem!reader
warnings: 18+ p in v, overstimulation, cursing, unprotected sex (pls be safe), MDNI
a/n: was thinking about thanos’ hair color coming out while he preforming and sweating, he dyes his hair yes but sometimes his roots come in and he just buys a bottle of purple semipermanent spray to touch it up. or when ever you guys are have sex and you’ve been going for so long that he starts sweating the purple just streaming down his forehead and his neck.
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thanos is going in and out of you at an extremely fast pace the drugs he took earlier before his concert just flowing through his veins, he was already sweaty after the show but nothing too bad. the pills gave him stamina but also he can just normally go fast. the bed is hitting the hotel wall surely the people in the room over can hear— hell maybe the whole damn hotel can hear how loud your screaming out
“s-su bong!” you mewl out your nails clawing at his back which only made growls come from his throat. he breathing heavily into your ear matching your own pace of breath it’s all too much this was your second orgasm of the night but you’re having too much of a time to beg him to stop
“jesus you feel so fucking good.” he praises making you whine, louder than all the fans at his concert. thanos thinks you’re the best kind of high he’s ever had before, he’s admitted that to you before but now he truly he’s reminded all over again.
you both are sweating, the purple spray from his hair now dripping down his forehead and trailing to his neck the beads of sweat are purple instead of clear, you notice and it turns you on more? the dye was surely on the white pillow cases now
“fuck baby.. feel ‘s good.” he moans out which is rarely a noise that comes out of his mouth but when it does it’s your favorite sound similar to how his is your whines.
“m close” you blurted out and he nods in agreement his hips stuttering signaling his release is soon coming
“come on my cock baby. i know you can.” he encourages his words making that knot in your stomach snap making you cry out his name like it’s a prayer that only makes him fall apart “ah fuck!” he groans his movements coming to a stop his forehead falling onto yours
he falls beside you placing a kiss to your forehead the taste of his sweat mixed with yours in his taste buds, your so fucked out to say anything. but the silence is comforting.
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a/n: never in my life wrote smut so idk if this is good.. pls lmk anything about it, or give me tips. also god bless hyunjin that gorgeous gorgeous man. 😫😫
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laufeysvalentine · 22 days ago
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i want you.
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remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist
summary ༄ remus x best friend!reader -- or in which you're in love with your best friend, but he's not exactly in love with you back... angst
word count ༄ 3.2k
nora’s notes ༄ eeek my first writing post!! i'm so excited. this is kind of bad but IDC part two will be coming and i swear will be better written okay enjoy!! mwah 💘
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“moony!” you sing-song as you twirl into his dorm, lips spread into a wide grin. “we’re leaving for hogsmeade, hurry up.” 
he’s on his bed, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he glances up from his book, suppressing a smile when he sees you. “hi, y/n.” 
he embodies the word comfort, you think. he’s wearing one of his trademark warm wool sweaters, an empty mug of tea by his knee, gray blanket draped across his lap, and that smile. it would be the death of you, you were sure of it. 
“hi,” you respond, clasping his book and setting it onto his bedside table. “c’mon, everyone’s waiting for us downstairs.” 
he sighs so deeply you think he might crack a lung, and loops his pointer finger through one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you onto his bed. “do we have to?” 
as much as you’d like to stay here with him, you also want to buy more chocolate frogs, so you spring back up, tugging at his hand. “yes, please. i’m low on my candy stock.” 
he groans, letting you pull him off of his bed and out of the dorm. “your sweet tooth is killing me.” 
you shrug. “that’s what you signed up for when you said yes to being friends in first year. now you’re just living with it.” 
he just hums in agreement, letting you wrap your arm around his. remus lupin, your best friend. he’s the kindest man you’ve ever met, let alone known. it would be a lie to say you weren’t completely and utterly in love with him, and even more of a lie to say you hadn’t been since before you were a teenager, even if you didn’t understand it then. but, alas, as soon as you’d admitted it to yourself, you also resolved to never, ever tell him. you were sure he didn’t feel the same about you, and why would you carelessly toss away the best friendship and most understanding person ever just for some feelings? 
and so, you waited and hoped, prayed that it would go away. you would move on and keep your friendship. 
and, of course, you didn’t. 
“y/n!” james calls once he sees the two of you walking down the stairs to where the rest of the marauders are waiting. “finally.” 
“we sent you up like ten minutes ago,” peter complains, frowning. 
you shrug. “oops.” 
remus shifts his arm to settle around your waist, nudging you in front of him. “well, we’re here now, so get a move on.” 
you thread the hand he placed on your stomach with your own, thumb rubbing circles onto his. he smiles down on you, and that smile, oh, lord. you could see it a million times and never have enough. you’d jump over bridges to have him watch you like that all the time. you’d sell your soul to be his, really and truly. and the worst part is, you have no shame about it. merlin, you’re in love. 
jelly beans or chocolate frogs, that is the question. you glance at one, then the other, then the other again. your shoulders slump. it’s too hard of a decision. you’re about to cave and get both when you feel warm arms wrap around your waist, a chin settling onto your shoulder. without looking, you press a kiss to remus’ cheek. “hi.” 
“hi,” he replies, inhaling your scent, nose tucked between your ear and your hair. 
“chocolate frogs or jelly beans?” you ask anxiously, holding up the two in front of you. “or both?” 
“both,” he agrees with you, and you can feel the tension slowly leaving him as he stands behind you, entwined with you. 
you nod, happy with his judgment, about to speak when someone beats you to it. 
“remus?” a voice yells from behind, excitement coloring her tone. 
you know who this is without looking too, but you wish you didn’t. remus slowly stands back to his whole height, and the sudden absence of his warmth makes you shiver. you turn just as he does, even if you don’t want to see the girl beaming at him. 
you know her, of course you do. doesn’t everyone know celeste huxley, the most beautiful hufflepuff to grace hogwarts’ campus? angels sing when she walks past, men and women fall to her feet in her wake. she’s worshiped, adored. okay, you’re being dramatic, but still. 
you hate her. 
you hate her silky hair, her evergreen smile, her cesspool of kindness. 
and you hate yourself more for hating her. she’s never been mean to you a day in her life, she couldn’t be mean to anyone even if she tried. but still. she’s who you’ve tried to be your whole life. she is the blueprint, the model with cherry-red high heels you wobble and blister your feet in. she has all Os on her OWLs, victoria’s secret hair, people who love on her like a celebrity. and she’s fucking obsessed with your best friend, of course. she could have anyone in the world, and she picked him. why couldn’t she love sirius or james, like half the girls at the school? why did she have to want remus? 
and the worst part is, she deserves him. he deserves someone as perfect as he is, even if that’s celeste. 
as you swallow down your hatred, you realize she’s started to pull remus away from you, pulling on his sleeve towards the jelly slugs, and you almost lob your stupid chocolate frog at her head. tears sting your eyes and you try your best to blink them back as you watch remus watch you, only half-listening to her blabber. he knows you hate her, and the most sheepish, guilty look comes over his face. you ignore him, putting your candy back, too upset to think about eating it. luckily, you spot sirius in the corner and quickly try to make your way over him when you’re pulled back. 
remus has got ahold of your belt loops again, and you watch him whisper something to celeste before gently removing her hand from his sweater and pulling away. he chose you now, but for how long? the thought chills you, goosebumps prickling your skin, your heart. 
“dove,” he says quietly by your ear. “what happened to your candy?” 
“didn’t want it,” you mumble, walking towards sirius. 
“why not?” he’s dancing around the topic, and both of you know it. 
“not hungry.” 
“i’m sorry.” 
“s’not your fault,” you say. you’re not mad at him, you could never really be mad at him, but you’re upset nonetheless. you push away towards the black-haired boy perusing the shelves. “siri, you done?” 
you link arms with your other friend, leading him out of honeyduke’s, leaving remus trailing behind. 
“hi dove.” a voice, and its accompanying owner, peeks out from the doorway into your dorm. “may i come in?” 
“hi rem,” you say in response, beckoning him in, putting your book to the side to let him crawl onto you. “can’t you always?” 
his shoulders sag slightly, slumping into your bed as soon as he reaches it. his head is in your lap, and he closes his eyes once you begin to massage his scalp with your fingers, pressing a kiss to your exposed hipbone next to him. 
you don’t say anything, you just let the silence dance between the two of you. 
he’s so pretty. you brush some of his sandy strands out of his face to let yourself just admire him. the towering giant and all his gentleness. your fingers trace the outlines of his face, the scars that decorate it, all the way down to his right pinky, where he has the cutest tattoo. 
i love you is all you want to say. the words pulse at your throat, begging you to let them free. but you can’t. you can’t lose him. anyone else, sure, you would do it. but not him. not remus, your remus. 
when he wakes, groggy but grounded, you have a hot cup of tea ready by your bed, ready for his consumption. you hand it to him as soon as he’s fully awake, pulling himself off of you to accept the mug. “i don’t deserve you, dovie.” 
“don’t say stuff like that, rem. if anything, you deserve better.” you press a kiss to his cheek, smiling. 
“there’s nobody and nothing better than you,” he promises, hand landing on your lower thigh to massage it gently. you smile, letting the quiet linger between the two of you a little longer before speaking up. 
“you wanna talk about it?” you ask, watching him sip his tea. 
he gives you the most adoring smile, and you want to put it in a box and lock it up and keep it forever. “just tired.” 
“okay,” you say, searching his face to verify what he’s saying. “you can always talk to me, you know.” 
“thank you.” remus is always sincere, it’s one of the things you love about him, but he seems especially sincere now. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n.” 
“and you are to me,” you whisper, eyes dipping to his plush pink lips. you want to kiss him so badly right now, but you know he just means it like a friend, as much as you wish it wouldn’t. 
swallowing, you wipe those ideas away, choosing to rest your head against his fleece sweater-covered shoulder. he drops a kiss onto the top of your head, and you sigh in contentment. this is why you refuse to tell him you love him. you couldn’t live without these moments. 
“there’s a party tonight at nine-ish,” he says softly. his thumb is rubbing circles on your knee. “sirius is dragging me along. will you come?” 
you contemplate it only briefly. “i’m tired, rem. you should go, though.” 
“i’ll stay back with you,” he decides with resolution. your heart melts, it’s sweet of him to want to stay with you, but you want him to have fun. plus, you can feel in how his body coiled with excitement when he talked about it–he wants to go. 
“no, go.” you glare playfully at him. “i won’t forgive you if you don’t.” 
“i’ll stay with you,” he repeats, staring right back at you. “it’s just a party. i’d stay with you forever, you know? you’re my favorite person.” 
“i’ll be mad at you if you don’t go, i swear to merlin,” you egg him on, heart melting. 
“no.” he’s too stubborn for his good. 
“i want to be alone,” you lie. you know he wants to go and you refuse to hold him back. “i might come later on, just not at nine. i’ll be there at ten, maybe.” 
“and i’ll wait for you,” he promises. 
“please, remus.” you put on your saddest tone, gaze up at him pleadingly. “i just need some alone time.” 
“you want to be alone?” he asks cautiously, searching for any hint you may be lying. 
“yes.” you cross your toes, tucked under your quads. 
he’s hesitating, and as if in perfect timing, a knock sounds at your door before a familiar head of black hair peeks through. 
“moony, let’s go. leave poor y/n alone.” sirius clicks his tongue. 
you push remus’ shoulder lightly, gesturing for him to go. he casts one long look at your face, as if memorizing every ridge. 
“she’s not going to change while we’re gone, get a move on,” sirius groans from the door. you nod at the statement, and remus concedes. 
“i’ll be here the whole time,” you promise. 
“call me if you get lonely.” he makes you swear before reluctantly getting up. you kiss his hand to send him off. 
you were lying when you said you would join him at nine. five minutes after he’s out the door, you’re fast asleep under the covers, the ghost of his touch comforting you. 
as soon as your eyes open, you let out a sound of disappointment. you can tell you haven’t slept through the night, as none of your roommates are in their beds, and they always sleep in. the clock reads that it’s only a bit before eight forty five, and you roll over in your bed. you know you won’t be able to fall back asleep, but you try anyway, until the door slams and your eyes fly open. 
it’s lily, face flushed with the cold and excitement. the second she sees you kissed by sleep, she covers her mouth. “sorry, y/n! were you sleeping?” 
you wave her off. “no, i was already awake. what’s up?” 
“james is going to be at the party tonight. will you come? please, please, please? i don’t want to go alone with him,” she begs. “please.” 
you weigh your options: if you stay here, you’ll just lay in bed, not sleeping. you might as well go with her, you’ll see remus there too. 
“okay,” you agree, and she practically drags you out of bed, she’s so happy. 
even though lily’s the one who dragged you here to keep her away from james, she’s off with him in a corner within ten minutes of you getting there, leaving you in a sea of other people, alone. of course, you know most of your housemates that are stuffed into this crowded common room, but you don’t know any particular one of them enough to properly go up to and chat. you sit awkwardly on a couch for a few minutes, next to couples making out, before finally just giving up and getting ready to leave. 
you saw sirius going into a bedroom with someone, so he’s out of the picture, peter’s smoking in the corner with some ravenclaws you have no interest in speaking with, james is alone with lily, and he’d kill you if you interrupted them, and you have absolutely no clue where remus is. 
whatever. you walk towards the door to the girls’ dormitories, stumbling over students on the way, when you just barely catch a glimpse of sandy hair outside on a balcony. you’d know it anywhere–that’s remus. you scramble towards him, eager to see a friendly face, hand cracking the door open, when just as quickly as it came, the excitement dies in your throat. 
because just behind remus is a girl you hate to see. celeste, hair floating behind her. if you blink hard enough, you see a breeze wafting through her hair as her fingers knot around remus’–your remus–neck. his hands are on the small curve of her waist, and he’s pushing her against the railing and, oh god–they’re kissing. 
you let out a thick gasp and your hand slaps over your mouth. you turn and flee. they probably heard you, but they can’t maneuver through the crowd like you can. within seconds, you’re sure you’ve lost any trace of them, darting through people as you sprint outside to the outside of the castle. sure it’s past curfew, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 
no one will see you now. 
he’s supposed to be yours. he was yours, he was yours in more than just a best friend. those nights when he fell asleep in your bed, having you wrap your arms around him for warmth, he was yours. when you always visited him post-full moon in the apothecary, and as much as he wishes to push you away, you never let him, he was yours then. when he lets you in, truly and fully, and lets himself cry against you, letting you take care of him for once. you’re the only person he’s ever let himself cry in front of.
and even though you’d deny it a million times, and you did, to sirius, to james, you’ve always hoped that he liked you back. deep down, in the parts of your soul you only ever showed to him. he didn’t have to love you, even. just like, that would be enough. anything would. 
but that was too much for him, clearly. 
you’re crying. tears, fat and hot, soaking the skin on your cheeks. head in your hands, letting your open palms pool the salty water. you feel nothing but yourself and the wind against the cold of the stone steps, whipping your hair around. 
“dove.” 
you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you’re hallucinating, praying the voice you just heard wasn’t real. you couldn’t see him right now. that would be humiliating. 
“y/n?” 
you crack your eye open when you hear the same voice, trying to swallow your sobs back and failing as they manifest into ugly hiccups. you’re not hallucinating. merlin damn it. 
in front of you, peering up at your blotchy face, is remus lupin, your best friend. the man who’s not yours. 
he’s on the step below you,  but one hand snakes its way onto your knee, soothing your skin with his slender thumb, the other finding your hand to intertwine your fingers. fuck, his touch both makes you lean into him and want to throw up at the same time. his eyes are chock-full of compassion, and god, you hate it. “what’s wrong?” 
his words send you blubbering into tears again, rubbing at your eyes as something splits open in your chest. “n-nothing.” 
“something’s wrong, love. let me help you. let me in,” he pleads in the softest tone, and you have to fight to not give in, to wrap your arms around him and never let go. remember celeste, remember that terrible sight of his lips on hers. 
“remus, leave me alone.” you’re shaking, but somewhere inside you, you find your resolve. you stand, pulling away from him, and make to run back inside the castle, but his long legs catch up to you easily, arm shooting around your waist when your knees buckle and you collapse onto the floor in sobs. 
“y/n, you’re scaring me,” he says, panic accumulating in his voice. “please tell me what’s wrong and i’ll fix it, i promise. please, baby. it’s killing me hear you cry.” 
you’re so close to the doors, you can see them. you stand again. “you don’t get to say that.” 
“what?” his arm’s still around your shoulder and you shove it off. 
“stop it! you’re so mean, remus. you don’t get to call me dove and call me baby and say stupid things like how there’s nobody better than me and i’m your favorite person and then go off and kiss other girls,” you spit out on the verge of hyperventilating. you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. it’s just coming out, spewing out of your mouth like the vomit that’s sure to follow. but even as each word shocks you, you know they ring true. “i hate you for it. i hate you for leading me on for years when i’ve loved you since we were kids! you’re terrible, remus. i hate you.” 
he’s absolutely stunned trying to process your words, and you use the momentary distraction to race back into the school, gunning for your dorm and locking it once you’re inside. the image of celeste and remus plays through your mind all night, so much that you can barely even think about how you confessed your love to him.
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masterlist | next part
tags @lydiasfalling @dancingwithourhandsuntied
1K notes · View notes
zentraex · 10 months ago
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Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.
Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.
Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader
(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.
Art by @asteriscks on TikTok
This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.
Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.
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It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman. 
You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday. 
Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake. 
_
It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account. 
Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?
Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.
"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.
"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains. 
What?
"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."
"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"
"No..."
You already knew what that meant: double payment.
"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."
You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.
 "No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."
Your eyes widened. 
Now?
"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"
"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."
Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him. 
"The keys?" 
With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.
What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?  
You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.
Thank God, I didn't hit him. 
"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."
What!?
How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes. 
"You’re telling me this now!?"
"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know." 
That filthy bastard.
No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.  
What were you going to do now? 
Shit.
"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.
Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.
Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.
"But maybe we can agree on something.
Then you stopped. 
"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."
Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer! 
"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"
"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”
_
Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks. 
Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.
But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.
_
"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."
After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.
I'm going to die today!
After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.
“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."
Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall. 
Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01
Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04
Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02
Steven Rudboys F03 – 03 
Mia Stone F03 – 01
Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04
Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors. 
"I wish you good luck."
C’mon Reader, be like Henry…
But better.
The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.
"Good evening."
Was she real? Was she a doppelganger? 
With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?
Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance: 
Long hair
Small round nose
She has freckles
...
...
...
Freckles?
Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window. 
You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.
No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles. 
"You look different...", you murmur after a while.
"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."
Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles. 
Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.? 
You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye. 
Shit. 
She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.
Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down. 
"3312," you murmur to yourself.
"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."
Cleaning protocol? 
What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they? 
What if they will?
What if your judgment was wrong?
What if...
Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.
"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."
It took a while until someone finally came again. 
This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear. 
Milkman...
You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen. 
You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away. 
"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."
"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."
Long nose
Thin chin
Tired eyes
Short hair
Wears a hat
It all fit. The only thing left now was a call. 
Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."
"Yes, today is my first day."
"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."
Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.
"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."
Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.
"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."
You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.
What milk do you mean exactly?
My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?
"I'd be delighted, Francis."
You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone. 
"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"
And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name. 
You pressed the green button.
_
"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear. 
It was your third day, your third time to change shift.
Well, it usually would have been.
Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.
He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.
You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.  
"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"
He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him. 
"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"
The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.
Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....
Oh?
He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning. 
Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you. 
Were you so shameful?
"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore.  I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."
You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him. 
His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”
If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?
Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.
_
"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day. 
Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.
"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."
Well, he had a point, huh?
No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that. 
You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.
"Have you killed more people?"
"Just more doppelgangers you let through."
Your eyes widened. 
You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.
"How many have I let through?"
Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.
"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"
You just nod, smiling.
"Are you going to kill others...?
You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special. 
"Would you kill for me?"
"Hooooonn"
When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black. 
You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.
_
Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes. 
But honestly? 
You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.
When you look up, he waves, the milkman. 
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sergeantbarnessdoll · 1 month ago
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Bucky realizes just how dirty minded reader is after playing Cards Against Humanity with their friends, and realizes how to use it his advantage.
Dirty Mind » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky finds out how much of a dirty mind you have during game night with your friends and uses it to his advantage.
Warnings: Smut (18+), language, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, fingering, vibranium arm kink, praise kink, pet names
A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵 also, I’ve never played Cards of Humanity so this is based off of what I Googled and looked up on Pinterest
Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.
Header made by @buck-star
GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You managed to convince Bucky to go to game night at your friend’s house tonight. Actually, you promised him that you would buy him plums if he would go with you. In other words, you bribed a Super Soldier with plums.
Anyway, now here you two are. You guys are in the middle of playing of Cards Against Humanity. Bucky isn’t playing, because he doesn’t understand the game so he’s just watching. He’s also looking at your cards, which are pretty graphic to him, but he’s not complaining.
Bucky watched you put a card down after your friends did. He leaned forward to read it. His eyes went wide when he read it. That’s when he realized how dirty minded you are. He leaned back against the couch and smirked to himself, thinking of how he can use your dirty mind to his advantage.
You decided to stay the night at Bucky’s apartment after leaving your friend’s house. As soon as you closed the door, Bucky pinned you against it, catching you by surprise.
“Who knew that you had such a dirty mind, doll.” Bucky says in almost a whisper.
You bit your bottom lip and giggled, looking up at him.
“I thought I was making it pretty damn obvious all along, Bucky.” You say seductively, rubbing your hands against his strong chest.
“I’m sure you were, doll face. I just didn’t realize it until now what a dirty fucking girl you are.” He says lowly.
Bucky’s eyes flickered down to your cleavage, getting a clear view of it in the shirt you’re wearing. He bit his bottom lip when he got an idea. He nudged his leg in between yours to move them apart. You gasped when you felt his thigh touch your panty covered pussy. “Good thing I wore a skirt today.” You thought to yourself.
“Are you going to be a good girl and take everything I give you, babydoll?” He asks.
“Yes, Bucky.” You answered submissively.
“Good girl.” He praises.
Bucky’s vibranium hand disappears underneath your skirt, finding its way to your wet panties. His vibranium fingers rubbed your clit through your panties before moving them to the side. A shiver went through your body when you felt the cool feeling of his vibranium fingers touching your pussy. His fingers rubbed against your folds, smearing your slick around. You couldn’t help but look down at his vibranium hand in between your legs.
“Looks like I have a dirty girl on my hands.” Bucky whispers in your ear.
Literally.
“I bet I can get you to cum so fast with my vibranium fingers.” He said softly in your ear. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you staring at it.” He says with a smirk.
“Bucky, please!” You whined.
“What do you want, babydoll? Tell me what you want.” He says, kissing your neck.
“I want you to- fuck… I want you to fuck me with your vibranium fingers.” You tell him through a moan.
You felt the tips of Bucky’s vibranium fingers circling your entrance before sliding two fingers in your pussy. A soft moan left your lips at the feeling of the cool vibranium in and against your pussy.
Bucky watched the expressions on your face change each time he thrusted his vibranium fingers in and out of your pussy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned your head against the door. He took the opportunity to kiss along the column of your throat. His teeth nipped at your skin.
“Bucky…” You moaned breathless.
“I love the way you moan my name, doll.” Bucky murmurs softly.
Bucky sped his fingers up, curling them and hitting your sweet spot perfectly. You bucked your hips against his vibranium hand and moaned loudly.
“Did I find your little spot?” He coos.
You moaned and nodded. Bucky curled his fingers every now and then as his fingers continued to fuck you. He curled his fingers against your sweet spot again, making your knees buckle. Bucky wrapped his free arm around your waist to keep you from falling.
“Your legs getting weak already, babydoll?” Bucky asks in soft voice.
Your hands held onto his chest and you nodded your head yes.
“Tell me, doll…” He begins, kissing just below your ear. “What else do you have on that dirty little mind of yours?” He asks curiously.
“I- oh fuck…” You paused to moaned. “I want you to fuck me in every position you can think of all over this fucking apartment.” You admitted. “I want you to spank me and choke me too.” You added.
“Fuck…” He growls, feeling his cock become uncomfortably hard in his jeans. “I’ll fuck you all you want as soon as you cum on my fingers.” He says.
Bucky sped his fingers up. His thumb applied pressure to your clit as he rubbed it. Your hands clutched the fabric of his t-shirt. Your orgasm was building up fast. It felt like you were going to fall apart on his vibranium fingers any second.
“Oh fuck! Bucky!” You moaned loudly, throwing your head back against the door.
“I know you’re close. Cum for me, doll.” He says lowly.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and a pornographic moan left your lips when you came. Bucky’s vibranium fingers fucked you through your orgasm. His fingers came to a stop and his thumb gave your clit one last rub before he took his fingers out of your pussy.
You lifted your head at the same time Bucky licked your cum off his vibranium fingers, moaning at your taste. You felt a new wave of wetness while watching him do that.
“You taste incredible.” Bucky said. “I hope you’re ready, because you’re in for a long night, babydoll.” He says lowly with a smirk plastered on his face.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
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subbmissivesuccubus · 9 months ago
Text
I don't know if this kink has a name but I am just obsessed with super casual boob play lmao
Also!!?? Thank you guys for helping me reach 2K followers! It's so exciting and i've been having so much fun writing and reading the smut on this website. Here's to many more stories which hopefully give you the tingles <3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright, so that's the groceries we need for this week."
"Mmm."
"Oh, don't forget to buy flowers! It's my moms birthday tomorrow."
"Mmm."
"Are you even listening?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at your boyfriend, the man simply staring at you.
"Mmm."
"Ok, so that's a no." you said, rolling your eyes before snapping your fingers in front of your boyfriends face, the man jumping and blinking a few times as he was brought back to reality.
"Can you pay attention now?" you asked sternly.
"Sorry. I was too busy staring at your tits." he said honestly, making you sigh. There he goes again with his very obvious boob obsession, your man having a clear fetish for your breasts.
"Well, if you continue to ignore me, you won't see my boobs for a week."
"Or, you flash them to me now, I promise I'll remember every single word you say."
"Oh my God."
"Come here, baby. Come here." he begged, hands reaching out to quickly grab you by the hips and drag you forward, his nails digging into the fabric of your skirt as he all but manhandled you onto his lap, smiling at you as he got your legs to straddle his waist.
"You're a degenerate." you snarled as you placed your hands on his shoulder, more than familiar with this particular song and dance.
"I'm your degenerate. And besides, this is your fault you know." he said, casually fisting the hem of your t-shirt before pulling it up, "If you didn't have such perfect titties, I wouldn't be like this!"
"So you weren't obsessed with boobs before you met me?" you questioned, allowing him to tug the t-shirt upto your chin, the man greedily looking at your bra covered breasts. Not having the patience to take the shirt off of you completely, he simply pulled it over your head so it looped around the back of your neck, your arms still in the sleeves but he didn't care as all he wanted was access to his favorite part of you.
"Of course not." he said confidently as he all but face planted into your cleavage, groaning in delight as he pushed his face in as deep as he could go, "I only got obsessed when you came into the picture."
You huffed, trying to fight the blood rushing to your face and between your legs as you fisted a hand through his hair, tugging at it a bit as you got his attention:
"Are you going to listen to me now?"
"Mmhmm." your boyfriend groaned, nodding a yes against your boobs, truly happy being surrounded by your plump flesh. Sighing, you once again told him what he needed to buy for groceries, allowing him to grope and kiss you wherever he wanted. His tongue ran over your skin, huffing and humming in response every time you asked him if he was listening.
He soon pushed your bra up as well, too eager to bother unhooking it as he placed it against your collarbone, the elastic of the band digging into your skin and making your tits look even more delicious than before. He opened his mouth and took a nipple in, closing his eyes as he started suckling gently, his arms wrapped around you and pulling you in closer.
"H-Hey..." you moaned, gripping his hair tighter as he suckled on you, "It's getting late. You need to leave before the stores close."
"Mmhmm. I know." he muttered against you, tongue coming out to flick at your nipples a few times before he moved to the other breast, giving her the same treatment, "Just- fuck- give me a minute."
You sighed, jumping as you felt his hands move down to your ass, taking greedy gropes of your butt as he lost himself in the sensation of your breast in his mouth.
Yeah, you were not getting your groceries today.
~~~~~
You slipped away from the group of friends in the living room to your bedroom, wanting to get your phone which had hopefully finished charging by now. As you were checking your phone and responding quickly to a few messages, you suddenly felt a hand on your waist that swiftly moved upwards and groped your right breast.
"Eh-hey!" you hissed softly, head snapping back towards your boyfriend, his touch so familiar that you instantly knew it was him, "Cut it out! We have guests!"
"I know but I just need one suck, ok?" he asked even as his other hand came up to start unbuttoning your shirt dress, "I'll be super quick, I promise."
"You- ah!" you squealed as he got the buttons undone enough to expose your bra, his fingers digging into the cup of the right side to pull it down, revealing your bare breast to the crisp air. He turned you around and quickly bent down and took the nipple into his mouth. Your head kept snapping between him sucking your nipple and the door, on edge as if anyone walks in, it would be very obvious.
Your man groaned as he suckled on your nipple, eyelashes tickling your skin as he closed his eyes. The sound of the TV and chattering was loud enough to thankfully drown out his groans, your boyfriend suckling you so hard it made your toes curl.
"Wh-you-" you hissed as his hand quickly pulled down the other cup of your bra and exposed your other breast, "You said only one!"
"I know but I can't not suck her too!" he protested, giving your left nipple a greedy lick, "she'll get jealous!"
"What the fuck are you talking abooouuttt!" you gasped as he suddenly took the nipple in and sucked on it as well, just as vigorously. You stood there for a few seconds, allowing your maniac of a boyfriend to suck and feel you up before he finally pulled away.
"Just what I needed. Thank you baby." he said, kindly helping you stuff your tits back into your bra and right your dress, giving your tits a final squeeze before he walked out of the room, leaving you a frustrated mess with your nipples tingling.
What a menace.
~~~~~
It was movie night, one of your favorite ways to spend time together. It was always a treat to just relax with your boyfriend, put on a random movie, eat popcorn and talk.
And of course, he also loved that he gets to play with your tits the whole time.
You huffed as your boyfriend pulled you onto his lap, his legs spread wide to accommodate you between them. Bowl of popcorn in hand, you munched away at the treat even as your man slid his hands up your shirt, aiming for your breasts.
"Ew, why are you wearing a bra?" he asked, clicking his tongue as his hands got in contact with the soft fabric.
"Sometimes I like having my boobs supported by something, ok? Fucking sue me."
"You don't need a bra to support your tits when you have my hands. I'm taking it off."
Before you could even protest, your man slid his hands to your back and unhooked the bra masterfully, practically an expert at it at this point. He was about to push the straps down your arms and pull the bra out from under your shirt but then he realized- why are you wearing a shirt? You might as well be topless as he was going to play with your boobs the whole time anyway.
So with your shirt and bra tossed onto the floor, you tried your best to focus on the movie playing on screen even as your boyfriend happily groped away at your tits. Ample flesh spilling out between his fingers, he squeezed you like a toy- like your tits were something he could use to alleviate stress. Occasionally, he'd flick his fingers over your nipples, working them up to stiff peaks before gently pinching them between his thumb and index finger. He'd place his hands underneath your breasts, cupping them before he bounced them up and down, loving the feeling of your heavy flesh landing on his palms, the ripple of your breasts on impact instantly making his cock hard.
And of course, as usual, once he was done playing with his hands (which was practically an hour long activity), he'll move onto his mouth. Your body automatically moved along with him as he lifted you up a bit higher onto his lap, looping an arm over his shoulder so he had the space to lean down and take a nipple into his mouth.
"Y-You're not even watching the movie, are you?"
"Mm-mmm" he responded, shaking his head no against your breast, his response making you shiver. You rolled your eyes and continued to watch the movie, failing at it even before he started sliding his hand into your pants.
~~~~~
Of course, your boob obsessed boyfriend can't sleep unless it's on said boobs.
"Take it offfff!" he whined, wrestling with you as he harshly tugged at your shirt.
"It's cold!" you protested as you tried to pull the fabric back down over you, "I'm going to freeze!"
"I'll keep you warm! You know the rules- no clothes in bed."
"You're wearing clothes!"
"Yes but I don't have a pair of delicious tits that are just begging to be suckled!"
"Oh my God- fine, how about this?" you asked, slapping his hand away from your shirt before you pulled up upto your chin, flashing him your bare boobs, "Just get in here and I get to keep the shirt on."
"...Why didn't you just say so?"
You grunted as you were tackled, pushed to lie down on the bed as your boyfriend landed on top of you, face first into your tits. You pulled your shirt over his head, covering the dopey smile on his face as he used his hands to push your tits against him, shaking his head from side to side as he motorboated you.
He thankfully still had some sense to pull the blanket over the two of you and you were able to dim the lights, whipping your phone out so you can get some screen time before you went to sleep. You felt wetness on your left nipple, your boyfriend finally done with shaking your fat tits in his face.
His tongue ran in circles over the hard bud, dragging it slowly as he knew he could take his time. He started flicking your bud harshly, his hot tongue making you shiver with each flick. Eventually, he sealed his lips around it, groaning happily as he started to suck. He was noisy- moaning like he was eating a delicious meal and the slobbering noises of him feasting on you making your ears ring, the pressure he used to suckle on you keeping you on your toes.
As he sucked on the left one, his hand came up to play with the right, toying with her as he got her ready to be sucked next. He rubbed the nipple around with his thumb before pinching it gently, giving her a few twists once in awhile. He was latched onto the same nipple for almost 30 minutes before he moved onto the next one, but not before dragging himself from underneath your shirt and pushing the fabric upto your chin.
Fuck it. You were falling asleep and now your body was running hot so you didn't really care.
"Baby... I want-" he gave your nipple a kiss before he snuggled his face into the fat of your breast before looking up at you, "I want to drink your milk. Make it for me."
"How many biology lessons did you fail for you to think that's possible?" you asked, your eyelids drooping and voice heavy.
"Why are you not pregnant yet? I cum in you like, everyday."
"...You know I'm still on birth control."
"I know but I'm confident I can defeat it."
"Mmkay, keep dreaming. Now shut up- i'm gonna sleep."
"...Stop taking your birth control."
"I'm not having a baby just so you can drink some breast milk."
"Of course not. We'll have a baby because we're in love and we'll be together forever!"
You opened one eye and looked down at him, letting him know you were not impressed.
"...And so I can drink your milk."
"Just keep sucking or sleep."
He pouted before he took your left nipple into his mouth.
~~~~~
Gojo Satoru, Haibara, Shanks, Sanji, Luffy, Ace, Kaeya, Kaveh, Childe, Cyno, Itto, Uzui, Sanemi, Eren, Jean etc. etc.
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