#don’t impulse buy animals I swear to all that is holy

[tired-inyxe]

1: DO NOT IMPULSIVELY BUY SNAKES, ESPECIALLY A CONSTRICTOR. THEY GET HUGE AND NEED A LARGE ENCLOSURE WITH THE CORRECT HEAT AND HUMIDITY REQUIREMENTS

2: Due to the most popular (BY FAR) python on the market being a ball python, I’m going with him buying a juvenile Ball Python impulsively. Ball Pythons are actually a very good beginner snake (I have one! Her names Melon <3), but they’re NOT something you should get on a whim, no live animal is. Ball Pythons need high humidity with high heat, a very hard balance to keep due to the heat burning away the water. They require a lot of effort to up the humidity if you live in a low humidity environment, which shouldn’t be as bad (roughly 40% interior) considering Gotham is a coastal town, but you’d still need a lot of effort to keep that cage humid. Theres, of course, the whole rodent thing. As well as a whole host of other issues. William Snakespeare should be fine considering Damian exists and isn’t an idiot but I cannot stress enough that anyone who isn’t thoroughly educated around an animal SHOULDNT BY THAT ANIMAL. THAT IS A WHOLE ASS LIFE IN YOUR HANDS, TREAT IT AS SUCH

Anyway this is a long ass rant, I just need to make it clear that you should not, under any circumstances, impulse buy a living creature unless you are able to set up a good environment and give it all it needs THE SAME DAY YOU GET IT. That means that unless youre an expert, DO NOT IMPULSE BUY A CREATURE WITH A LIFE!!!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING WITH THE LITERAL LIFE YOUVE PUT IN YOUR HANDS

This isn’t any attack on you, I just feel extremely strongly on this considering how pets are treated (and regularly abused) worldwide. A ball python isn’t a thing you can just buy and leave alone. It will slowly suffer and possibly die. This is an animal that grows to 5 feet long, put them in an 120 gallon (that’s 4 feet x 2 feet x 2 feet btw) enclosure and give them hides, heat and a tropical environment, and feed them for the appropriate times for their age/weight (ranges from a week to a month). If you do that (which isn’t that hard under normal circumstances, just can be expensive), you’ll have a happy and healthy Ball Python

…I didn’t mean to go off here but I’ll chew Dick Grayson out until he’s a puddle of mush, anyway here’s Melon pics for yall :D

Dick, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?

Tim: You did WHAT–

Jason: William Snakepeare

[lvllns]

20 otp questions!

i was tagged ages ago by @goblin-deity​, @lavellane​, and @rosebarsoap​ and i’m finally getting around to it lmao. i’m p sure everyone has been tagged but if you haven’t and you wanna do this, you’re tagged now.

1) who can out drink the other?: sparrow doesn’t drink so mason for sure. i feel like even if sparrow did drink, mason has the whole “vampire biology” thing going on which would still let him out drink them.

2) who says “i love you” more?: verbally, sparrow. mason definitely shows his love in other ways. (he sneaks steals books from the warehouse library for sparrow constantly.)

3) who has trouble sleeping alone?: absolutely sparrow. after everything with murphy and then the trappers and they’ve just always been prone to nightmares. they don’t sleep well ever really. and then mason stays the night for the first time and they actually get good sleep. after that, sparrow has an incredibly difficult time sleeping by themselves.

4) who swears more?: oh they are evenly matched here. sparrow is like......nobody expects them to swear like they do but holy shit, the mouth. you’d think they grew up with pirates. also, sparrow knows like a dozen languages. it’s fun to swear in welsh when nobody else knows what you’re saying. (it’s because rebecca was never home and sparrow’s tiny act of rebellion was to swear fucking constantly.)

5) who does more of the housework?: another even split. sparrow is the only one that does the dishes though, they insist on that bc there’s no reason? for mason? to wash the dishes? that’s sensory hell for most people anyway, and they’re not gonna let him deal with All That with his hypersenses.

6) who forgets their anniversary?: it’s either neither of them or both of them tbh. they either remember every single year or they’re both so fucking busy with work that it blows right by them without either of them realizing until mason looks at the calendar on his phone and goes “oh shit” and then sparrow is laughing too hard to say anything. (next year they take the day off and then that becomes a Thing.)

7) who steals the duvet in their sleep?: oh mason. poor boy is cold like all the time. sparrow just keeps buying comforters and quilts until there’s like 6 on the bed and they actually get to keep one. helps that sparrow tends to run a little warm.

8) who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?: i don’t think either of them would snore. sparrow maaaaybe when they’re absolutely fucking exhausted, so when that happens they might keep mason up i suppose.

9) who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?: sparrow, sparrow, sparrow. they told mason, they told him that they will stop and pick up injured or missing animals, and i’m sure he thought that was adorable until sparrow walked through the door of their apartment with a fucking injured crow. sparrow hasn’t kept anything they’ve brought home though........Yet.

10) who usually makes dinner?: definitely sparrow, since they’re the only one of the pair that actually eats food. mason usually sits on the counter and they talk while sparrow cooks.

11) who plays their music out loud?: sparrow used to, but they’ve switched to headphones. they will sing out loud, usually softly under their breath while they do things, and mason finds that absolutely endearing.

12) who hogs the bathroom?: neither of them. sparrow is very much “throws hair into a braid and GOES” and mason is “fixes his hair and dips” so. like they clean up nicely, but they don’t put a whole bunch of extra effort into it.

13) who gives the most compliments?: MASON. sparrow is very easily flustered and he knows that and he’s a BASTARD who likes making them blush. sparrow compliments him too, but mason just. runs with it.

14) who usually starts/causes arguments between them?: it’s a pretty even split tbh, more sparrow. but it’s mostly from misunderstandings or sparrow saying the Wrong Thing when they meant something else. they don’t really have like, big arguments. whatever happens is easily talked through and worked out.

15) who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?: fucking mason. he’ll just shoot sparrow The Look and they light up bright red immediately. he’s very careful not to overdo it though, there’s a line between just enough and too much where sparrow is genuinely upset.

16) who gives the other cringe worthy pet names?: they both give each other nicknames but sparrow is definitely the champ at throwing really just awful ones at mason. mason comes up with cute ones, like songbird.

17) who fusses over the other when they get sick?: mason, mostly bc i don’t think the vampires in wayhaven can get sick? he definitely gets protective and a little overbearing and there’s probably a small part of him that is like “hey humans are fragile and not immortal” that makes him panic More until sparrow very gently kisses his forehead and calmly explains that it’s a cold, they will be fine in 2 days.

18) who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?: they don’t really get angry with each other. frustrated and annoyed, sure, but truly angry? nah. what they might think is anger is probably more likely fear, especially in their line of work when they’re running into danger headlong and sparrow impulsively Goes and does something.

19) who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?: eventually i think sparrow. at first, they’re very used to relying on themselves and only having themselves for comfort, but at some point, that shifts. and when they get upset, they seek out mason and just lean on him.

20) who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…): even split again! sparrow is a VERY tactile individual. they are constantly taking mason’s hand, kissing his cheek, wrapping their arms around him in a hug. and mason is.........mason. touchy and flirty.