#yes we're going out with a pun

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[snowshinobi]

*slings my arm around a vampire* hey baby I'm type O+, wanna be my everything? get it, I'm a universal donor? and it's cute to tell someone "hey you're my whole world"? please bite me

[caparrucia]

Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.

Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.

And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"

But like.

If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.

So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.

There is no nuance to this.

A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.

That's it.

That's all.

"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.

"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.

"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.

"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.

"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.

But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.

"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.

[lizthewriter]

good old-fashioned lover boy / sanji vinsmoke

PAIRING  opla!sanji x quiet!reader

SUMMARY  someone was always leaving behind poems and gifts in sanji's kitchen and he was going to find out who it was. one night he gets drunk and . . . has this secret finally revealed itself, or, themself?

QUOTE  "set my alarm, turn on my charm, / that's because i'm a good old-fashioned lover boy," - good old-fashioned lover boy by queen

WORD COUNT  1.7K

WRITTEN  7.9.2024

it was obvious to perhaps everyone but sanji himself who was leaving him small sonnets and gifts in the kitchen. everyone knew how you pined for sanji - because no other person on that ship didn't consistently pick on him (well, except for usopp but he had his own love stashed away on a charming little island). maybe it was sanji's over-inflated ego that made him think it could have been anyone on the ship leaving him these cute gifts or maybe it was something else. but he was determined to find out who, exactly, it was.

you, said person secretly leaving all this for him, didn't want him to find you out anyways. what if he was dissappointed that in the end, it was plain old you? you had imagined his expression falling upon realizing this and it pained your heart - you couldn't imagine how much more it would hurt to actually see that in real life.

your job on the ship was a simple one - you cleaned. every room, every floor, every wall. sparkling clean every day because of your valiant effort (and valiant was an understatement - the straw hats could be terrifyingly disgusting sometimes). you never complained because you liked your job. it was just as valuable to the team as anyone else's. if luffy wanted the straw hats to be the best, most well-renowned, most sought-after in all the east blue then his ship must emanate that.

so there you were, mopping the starboard as luffy guided the ship through today's rather calm sea. zoro was busy meticulously caring for his swords while usopp, sanji, and nami were deep in conversation (although, nami seemed only a bystander while the other two conversed excitedly).

"luffy, we're going to need to restock soon. you are planning on taking us to the next port, right?" sanji asked, climbing up the starboard, two stairs at a time with those long limbs of his. "as much as i enjoy our little adventures, i don't think they'll be very fruitful if we're not well fed."

zoro and nami groaned. "please, not another one of your food-themed puns," nami complained aloud, while zoro only grunted in discontent and continued carrying for his swords (which sometimes seemed to be the only things he cared about).

"i'll stop at the next port then!" luffy exclaimed with a wide-grin, chock full of his usual child-like enthusiasm. sanji passed by you on the way back down to usopp, sending you a signature flirty wink and a two-fingered salute before greeting usopp boisterously with a clap on the back.

part of you hated the way the butterflies in your stomach twirled and twisted at some gesture as small and meaningless at that - i mean, come on, he did that to literally everyone. but the heart wants what the heart wants. and sometimes, the heart was completely and utterly ridiculous.

-

it was practically nightfall when luffy brought the ship to a port, so the others decides they would have a night on the town and invited you. now, you weren't very outgoing - in fact, you often avoided excursions like this, but sanji was going and you wanted to spend time with him, so you said yes.

most of the straw-hats were pretty loud. even zoro, who was rather broody most of the time, grunting as a form of communication. luffy walked through the bustling streets of this port city with all the maturity of a cartoon character. usopp and sanji, who had somehow already obtained alcohol, had their hands around each other's shoulders and were loudly singing some pirate song while nami and zoro were (suprisingly) getting along quite well (most due to luffy's way of bringing everyone together). you, however, hung back. it was always their extrovertedness that made you feel like the odd ball of the group.

as the rest of the group made their way into a pub, you stopped by a local stall filled with little trinkets for sale. you pointed towards a minature decorative ornament of a chef's hat. "can i have that one please?"

you smiled softly as you exchanged gold for the small decoration, admiring it before tucking it away in one of the pockets of your coat. you joined the straw-hats in the pub, but drank only a water. if they were all to get drunk, they needed someone sensible to guide them back to the ship and get them asleep before zoro tried to guide them to the other side of whatever island they were on. his navigational skills were truly terrible.

as you admired your friends' drunken spirits from the sidelines, you didn't notice the way sanji crawled up to your side and rested his head against your shoulder. "i'm cold and i'm hungry but the door is open and the food here is terrible," he whined in your ear.

you patted him on the head awkwardly. "it's all right, sanji, there's some leftovers from lunch that luffy hasn't eaten yet and you'll be in your warm bed soon enough."

"hmm, i think i'll use you to keep me warm instead," he responded (in surprisingly an innocent way), snuggling up to your side and snoozing against you. you felt a warm blush fall over your cheeks - you couldn't help but think he was suggesting something else at what he had said.

"i think it's time we head home - i think you're all a bit too drunk tonight," you muttered softly, gently pushing his head off your shoulder. slowly (and painstakingly), you somehow managed to gather all the straw-hats in one piece and struggled (but was successful) in your endeavor to get the aboard the ship. soon enough, almost all were asleep, except for sanji.

you lead him down one of the narrow corridors of the ship to his room and opened the door, helping him into his room. the doorway was rather small for you both (let alone the ship for you entire crew), and in your attempt to squeeze through the door, the little trinkets you had planned on leaving for him in the kitchen tonight fell from your pocket and directly in front of sanji.

the two of you froze. he stared down at the hat. so did you. fear settled within you, filling you like air, freezing you in place.

then, sanji laughed. "i need me one of those." and he continued unbothered to his bed, flopping onto it and cuddling one of his pillows. you watched in utter shock as he mumbled a quiet good night before falling asleep immediately, his obnoxious snores filling the room. he had just breezed past what had happened. he hadn't even realized. thank gold roger he was drunk. you collected the trinket from the floor and closed his bedroom door as you departed towards your bedroom.

-

the next morning, all had seemed normal. sanji didn't show any signs of remembering what had happened the night before. you didn't want to risk his memory coming back by gifting him the trinket in secret, so you absentmindedly placed it back in your pocket before swiftly falling asleep the night prior. were you never going to learn? if you were being completely honest, you forgot all about where you put the decoration. which is why you were so shocked when you dropped it. again.

you were cleaning the kitchen. sanji was cooking. it was a normal, every day occurence. but your nerves were still aflame from the night before, making you antsy and clumsy - and as you turned around to grab a new bar of soap from another cabinet, sanji was turning towards where you were (the sink), to place yet another dish in. the result? the two of you, limbs tangle together, while the gift you had yet to give sanji sat right on his chest.

suddenly, the memories from the night before swirled in his head. he picked up the small trinket, tilting his head in confusion as he looked at it, then you. "you're the one leaving me gifts in the kitchen?" he asked, as though suprised that it was anyone other than you.

"well - i - uh - yes," you responded dejectedly, trying to untangle your legs, boeing your head so you didn't have to meet his puppy eyes.

a grin spread across sanji's face, as he repeated what he said before, as though solidifying the reality of it. "you're the one leaving me gifts in the kitchen."

"yes, i know, it's stupid," you responded, pushing yourself up from the ground and brushing off your apron. "stupid, stupid," you mumbled to yourself.

"no, no, it's anything but stupid!" sanji exclaimed, standing up and grabbing you by the shoulders, excitement written all over his face. "they - they make my day! i keep all of them, you see, all the cards and the poems and the gifts in a drawer in my room! i'd put them on display in the kitchen but i've no idea how - they'd fall down without something to stick them to the shelf. no, they're - they're really sweet. just like you."

"you're telling the truth?" you asked hopefully, a hesitant smile brimming beneath all that uncertainty of yours. sanji barked out a laugh.

"of course! i wouldn't lie to you, mon cherie," he responded, tucking some stray hair behind your ear. "i think this enlightening event deserves something to mark it's importance. a kiss, perhaps?"

through red cheeks and averted eyes, you nodded. he placed his index finger under your chin, tilting your head so that you were facing him completely. "don't hide that beautiful face of yours, pretty girl. i want to see all of it." he admired you with those starry, puppy eyes of his before bringing his lips down to catch yours in a gentle, loving kiss.

your hands somehow made their way up to clutch his face. caught in the moment, you slipped in deeper before-

"finally. it was annoying watching you two pine for each other." you and sanji separated as zoro entered the kitchen, stealing one of sanji's ingredients for dinner and taking a big bite out of it. you both stared at him.

"we're kind of in the middle of something here."

"right."

when zoro left, sanji turned back to you with a small smile. "shall we try again? no interruptions this time."

[pholla-jm]

Science Puns

IMAGINE: SCIENCE PUNS ~ KUROO X READER GENRE: FLUFF cw: none really. not proof read. ****************

Having Kuroo as a boyfriend was not like you thought it was going to be. People think that Kuroo is some sort of player or 'bad boy' because he was a popular athlete. Fangirls adored him, but he never paid attention to any of them. People would also think he would be such a huge flirt. 

But they are all wrong. 

Well, somewhat wrong. 

He was a dork. 

A big one at that. 

You could never get a moment's peace with him. 

Your pencil tapped against the dark wood of your desk as you tried to study, but it was almost impossible with your boyfriend standing behind you

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe." 

This is what you meant when you said you couldn't get a moment of peace. 

You just hum at his attempt at a pickup line and continue to read the words in your book. 

Kuroo pouts, a little hurt that he didn't get the reaction he wanted. 

"Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you." 

Your nose scrunched up at that one. You had heard it before actually. When he asked you out on a date, he said those exact lines. 

"One, you used that line asking me out. Secondly, we're already dating." 

Kuroo sighs, knowing you were right. He had to try harder. 

"If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes." 

No response. 

"You're like an exothermic reaction. You spread hotness everywhere."

"You must be chlorine, cause you are polarizing my bond." 

"How about we form a covalent bond (y/n)?" 

To be honest, you didn't understand most of his science puns. 

"We should be chemists... because chemists do it on the table periodically."

A blush formed on your cheeks from such a lewd pickup line. You had about enough of his science pick up lines. 

With a sigh, you turn around in your chair and face your dork of a boyfriend. 

"If I give you cuddles and kisses, will you stop?" 

A huge smile crawls on his face and he excitedly nods his head. 

Without wasting another second, he picks you up out of your chair and flops down on your bed. All while being careful not to harm you in the process.  

The both of you moved around a bit so you could get comfortable. Both of his arms were wrapped around her waist, while your head rested on his chest. Listening to his calming heartbeat. 

A warm sensation fills you when you feel him place a small kiss on your forehead. In response you look up and places kisses on his neck and jawline as well. 

Kuroo sighs in content when he feels your smooth lips on his skin. He wishes that you could just kiss him forever, but he knew that would be impossible.

His grip on you tightens a bit. He was so glad that he met you. So happy that you said yes to him, even though he did use a cheesy science pick up line. He felt so loved by you and he couldn't be happier. 

"I love you so much (y/n)." He whispers and you happily hum. 

"I love you too." 

Silence fell over them and it was nice. Until Kuroo ruined it. 

"You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I together." 

Of course he had to ruin it. 

"Oh my god. I thought you were done." 

Kuroo just laughs as you smack his chest with a slight annoyance. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't help myself."

[tangerinelovez]

How do you think OT7 Dream would comfort you after a bad day?

Mark: When Mark comes home from a day of work and sees you on the couch sad and quiet, not at all like your normal self, his face quirks up in shock. Your eyes are on him as he awkwardly looks around the room, rubbing his arm, looking as if he’s unsure what to do. After a few beats of silence, he meets your eyes and sits down next to you.

“How was your day?” He asks, looking at you with soft brown eyes. He listens intently and offers emotional support for a few minutes before diving into some solutions and advice. You notice his sentences are a little disjointed or rambling, but he definitely got some good points across and brought up new perspectives you hadn't considered.

"No, yeah, like, she was totally... uh... over the line for asking you to stay late to finish that report... like, she totally put you in a weird spot, y'know, given the fact she asked if you'd do it in front of so many people, you know? you don't... you can't deal with that kinda thing." You nod, feeling your frustrations dissipate as he continues to be the picture perfect supportive boyfriend… albeit a bit rambly. His talents definitely lie in making sure you feel heard, and like all of your concerns are so valid. He's an amazing listener who reassuringly holds your hand and gently strokes your thumb with his own as you talk and he offers his best reassuring words. Even if he somehow loses his train of thought along the way, he always brings it back home. He's the sweetest boyfriend you could ever ask for and you love the way he takes your mind off things... when he offers to get you your favorite takeout, you squeak out a "No, it's ok, I'm fine. We have leftovers."

He calls you from the restaurant to ask what exactly it is you like from their menu because he just wants to be 100% sure he gets your order right (and that they don't forget your sauces...) Would totally be the type to bring home way too much food, sheepishly saying, "Hey, you deserve it.... it's been a long day for you... not that you have to have a bad day to like, get good food, but i'm seizing this opportunity to make my girlfriend smile."

Yes, he did scrunch up his free hand that isn't holding copious bags of take-out while saying that sentence... and yes, you do laugh. When he sits back down on the couch next to you, you can't help but smile over how he instantly puts on some cheesy show for you both to watch while you eat your giant meals. "Mark... we're going to be eating these leftovers for days..." You say, but even as you say it, you're a bit shocked to realize nearly all the fries are gone.

Your eyes meet in shock, and you double over in laughter over the fact you both have been so absorbed in the stupid happenings of the reality TV show... you just kept eating.

With full bellies, you'd lay down on the couch and cuddle... laughing over the fact at least your problems aren't as bad as the poor girls on the crappy reality TV show... and you're lucky enough to have an amazing boyfriend who'd do anything to make you feel loved <3

Haechan: When you'd text him to let him know your day isn't going that well, Haechan would be the type to immediately get mad on your behalf as if someone had insulted his honor to the highest degree. Like... if you're having a bad day because of something somebody said to you or did to you, best believe you'd have to pull him back from confronting that person. His chaotic and over-the-top insistence on getting as involved as possible makes you feel really loved... Although he is a bit dramatic, you have to admit it's a nice change from the previous nonchalant busters you had dated who had no real interest in protecting your wellbeing. This man would spam your phone with stupid Instagram reels and bad puns in hopes your mood would improve slightly.

When he's finally with you in person, it would take a natural disaster to get him off of you. He would douse you in kisses and nearly crush your ribcage with a tight hug. He'd totally be the type to dramatically look out the window and declare you're letting those bitches win if you don't make the best of the rest of the day. he'd walk you around the neighborhood for a bit, an arm slung over your shoulder, and would just take in the scenery with you, feeling that your quietness was more out of contentedness than anything else.

Although he can sometimes be a lot, he has a huge heart and will always do his best to read the room and figure out what you need... while still encouraging you to sometimes do things that make you a bit uncomfortable... Hey, he was right about how good a walk outside can be for mental health and gaining perspective! you should trust him.

he'd claim he had no real route in mind for your neighborhood walk, and yet, you'd somehow conveniently end up at your favorite mom-and-pop restaurant. he'd feign shock, looking between you and the restaurant a few times before saying, "Destiny led us here... come on, the universe is saying your boyfriend needs to buy you a couple pan-fried dumplings. Who are we to say no?"

Once you're sitting down at the restaurant, you'd finally begin spilling more details about what was bothering you, and to his credit, he would listen quite well, only interrupting a few times to express his annoyance with your classmates over not carrying their weight on the project. With a belly of pan-fried dumplings and noodles, you walk back to your apartment with Haechan, grateful to have a boyfriend who lets you vent at your own pace, and doesn't force you to share ... even if it sometimes kills him to wait to hear who is at faultRenjun: Renjun is the type to immediately discern when something is wrong with you, even if you try your very best to hide it. As soon as he'd come home and lay eyes on you, staring straight ahead on the couch in the living room, his gaze would soften and he'd say, "hey sweetheart... you okay?" to which you'd nod before tears would suddenly well up, causing him to drop everything in his hands and rush over to you.

He'd sit next to you on the couch and pull you close to his side, wrapping both arms around you and rocking you gently as you cry. He'd sit there with you quietly for as long as it would take for you to calm down, quietly humming as the two of you sway slightly, his hand softly combing through your hair. Eventually, you'd shakily exhale and lift your head from his shoulder, maneuvering yourself on the couch to face him. He'd shift slightly, as well, ensuring that you could see his full attention is on you. He'd listen intently as the words suddenly come spilling forth. After telling him all about your bad day and what has been bothering you, you can count on Renjun to get right down to solutions. Though he's a super caring boyfriend, the man would believe that the way to truly help you feel better would be to attack the issues head-on rather than just offering you emotional support. However, he always speaks to you very calmly and sweetly, never talking over you. After discussing possible solutions for a while, I think he'd be the type to say, "Well, there's not much else we can do right now, so maybe let's just take your mind off of all that for tonight? And tomorrow, you can talk to your friend about some of your concerns." You love the way he makes big, all-consuming feelings and events feel smaller by breaking it down piece-by-piece and ensuring you never feel like these issues are yours to bear alone.

He'd totally be the type to say something cheesy like "the first duty of love is to listen" He'd be so honored that you shared your troubles with him and trust his advice so much, would instantly shush you if you tried to apologize for crying and ruining your night together.

"Your worries are my worries... I swear sometimes you worry me with how low your bar is for treatment from others... but hopefully it's raising everyday we're together." After all that talking... and crying... and laughing, he'd make some popcorn, crack open your favorite soda, and put on the one movie you've watched every time you've been sad. And he wouldn't even make fun of you when you'd recite all the lines along with the characters dutifully. Jeno:When you come back from school, overwhelmed by the workload of your graduate-level courses, Jeno would listen intently to all your issues, nodding and sighing at the appropriate times, making you start to find amusement in his display of active listening. This man would definitely take all his cues from you and adapt appropriately. If you're angry... then he is boiling mad, too. Madder than you are, actually. If you just don't want to talk about it any more, he would definitely respect that, and start cycling through your favorite topics to try and boost your mood.

No matter what, he would insist on being by your side and doing whatever it is that you want to do, repetitively asking if there's anything else he can do for you. He'd shyly pepper your hairline and temple with kisses, smiling against your head softly when he'd feel you laugh. He'd definitely be all over you, cuddling you on the bed to the best of his ability as he throws out different activities you could do to feel better. "Do you want to paint something?" A slight head shake from you tells him you're not really in the mood for anything crafty... but maybe you could be convinced. "Hmm... would you wanna go out for dinner, baby?" It's silent for a few seconds before you say, "Hmm... maybe...."

The arm he has around your neck is comforting, but as he moves it to scratch his chest absentmindedly, you feel like the comforting embrace is slightly choking.

Thankfully, he stops his scratching and sighs, staring at the ceiling before he tosses out his next suggestion. "Okay... how about... we go to that one grocery store you really love, get all the ingredients for homemade pizza... AND any other snacks you want? and your loyal samoyed will happily buy them all for you?"

suddenly feeling a burst of energy over the prospect of wandering the aisles of your favorite fancy grocery store and being silly and creative in the kitchen with Jeno, before relaxing on the couch together to laugh over some stupid movie, you curl into his side excitedly.

"Yeah, that sounds amazing..." Now you're the one peppering him with kisses, from the mole below his eye to the tip of his nose, feeling so happy that you have such a patient and sweet man who shows you how he cares through actions. "You can just wear my sweatshirt, too. No need to change." Is it possible to be any more in love? I guess you'll find out when the night's over.

Jaemin: Jaemin runs an aggressive campaign in turning your frown upside down. "Baby.... what's wrong...?" Jaemin's deep voice would warble out of the phone as you try to steady yourself in the bathroom at work.

"Ugh, it's... it's nothing. I'm just frustrated. I shouldn't have called, I know you're busy..."

He'd huff, the pfft somehow coming through the speaker with just as much sass as it would in person. "What is it I always say when you start pulling this nonsense?"

You exhale, glad there is no chance anyone can come in the single-occupancy restroom and hear your boyfriend giving you a pep talk over the phone.

"'You're wasting both of our times because I'm not going anywhere until you talk?"'

Jaemin's tinny voice exclaims in frustration over the phone. "Baby, no, the other thing."

You hum in understanding. "'Tough times don't last but you will?'"

He groans again. "Damn, I say way too many things, all so wise and encouraging. No, baby, 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' That's what I always so wisely say to encourage you."

You'd nod, finding amusement in just how many idioms seem to come spewing out of him. After talking to him on the phone for a bit, you'd find the strength to leave the bathroom and finish your day at work. When you finally make it home, Jaemin would hug you at the door, and gently ask how the rest of the day went, offering emotional support and advice as you saw fit. However... his biggest way of making you smile after a hard day would definitely be taking you to a late night movie and stuffing his cargo pants and hoodie with all the snacks you could ever want. He'd even go as far as to throw some cans of soda into a blanket before excitedly tucking it under his arm, urging you to get in the car so you can go snuggle at the theater with all the smuggled snacks you could ever desire. You'd cuddle up to each other, grateful it was a reclining seat theater, and that nobody else seemed to want to see this weeks-old movie at 11:00 pm on a Wednesday other than the two of you. After the movie, he'd take you on a drive around the city, playing your favorite music lowly, his hand on your thigh, allowing you to talk as you saw fit, but mostly just content with the silence, knowing the soft smile on your face was genuine. And when you fall asleep in the car? he'd drive around for a few more minutes, softly singing along to the music and gently stroking your leg as he did so.

And yeah... he'd carry you inside and shush all the cats before they'd even get a chance to meow.

And when you wake up the next day, terrified you're gonna be late for work? He's already awake, cooking breakfast :) best boyfriend in the world award loading... Chenle:Chenle is a straight-forward man. When he realized you were answering his texts after several hours with short replies, he knew action needed to be taken.

He'd call you, and after your sniffly "hullo?" would know all he needs to. Nothing would stop that man from instantly booking it to your location, which just so happened to be the parking lot of your job.

He'd park right next to your car, and tap on the passenger window gently, prompting you to unlock the door for him.

"(Y/N), what's wrong? Was it that one girl from yoga? The stupid ass girl in HR? Tell me," He'd say, taking his hands in yours, causing you to shift in your seat slightly and face him.

"I-I don't even know, Chenle. It's just everything today... one thing after the other." After showing him your cracked phone screen and broken nail, he examines your hand more carefully, turning it over with great scrutiny. 

"Um... what, Chenle?" “This color was ugly anyways…” He mutters before looking up at you. “Get in my car, we have to go.”

You look at him in shock, still a little annoyed and frustrated. “What?”

He huffs, voice unwavering and face firm. “Get. In. The. Car.” 

Suddenly he beams. “I’m taking you to get your nails redone. And in a cuter color…”

You feel a blush coming on over his insistence. “Oh, no, Chenle, it’s fine, really–”

“Stop. It’s already done. And I need you to get moving. While you’re getting your nails done, I have to make it to this appointment… you like silver, right?”

Your eyes widen in shock as you sit down in the passenger seat of Chenle’s car. “Chenle, you’re not getting me a new phone.”

Chenle laughs, shaking his head slightly. “Nobody said anything about getting you a new phone…you materialistic woman…” 

When you get picked up from your nail appointment, (which Chenle Zelle’d you the money for, plus a little extra because of “girlfriend tax”), you not only have a new latest-model silver iPhone but also a new pair of silver hoops.

You just love the way he spoils you while simultaneously keeping you on your toes. Life is never boring with him, and he never hesitates to make you feel special in his own way. 

Would definitely finish the day off by dramatically performing all of your favorite songs he normally finds really cheesy and annoying (he wants to put a smile on your face today, okay? Don’t get used to it) 

Jisung:He knows you sometimes need your space, so he’d want to feel out what the right move is. When he feels like you’re having a bad day, Jisung would first talk to you about all of your favorite topics enthusiastically, hoping it would pique your interest and cheer you up… if that was unsuccessful… he would dive deep into his trove of secrets and tell you about embarrassing things he’s done that he’s forced the other boys to hide from you (which is no easy feat seeing as they love to tell you about dumb things he has done).

“So… you just… ran away?” You say, your chest feeling lighter as you laugh.

“Well… I just felt so awkward… my voice crack echoed around the room so loudly…I knew that Haechan would be talking about it for the rest of the week.”

You laugh some more, thinking of how he must have had that cute embarrassed look on his face when it happened.

“Honestly, probably the rest of my life.” 

A cute blush would appear on his features, making you feel compelled to snuggle even closer to him, the scent of his soft hoodie doing wonders in improving your mood.

You would quietly talk on the couch for a while before Jisung would start showering you in shy compliments, telling you how much he loves your hair and your outfit, before finally asking how you could have possibly had a bad day when you look this good.

Now you’d blush, hiding your face in his hands when he looks at you with his sparkly eyes. 

“Don’t you have rehearsal now?” You’d ask and he’d shrug, looking at the time quickly before looking back at you.

“I can be late. I don’t want to go just yet.”

You’d snuggle in deeper and feel 1000x better knowing he’ll always be there when you’re feeling down.

[ggidolsmuts]

Panda Making - Dreamcatcher Dami

A/N: I apologize for the utterly terrible puns (if you get it), if not, nothing of value was lost, trust me.

"Oh my god, it's so cuteeeee!" You remind yourself that Dami is not the cute one in Dreamcatcher, that she isn't one to fawn over something as mundane as a four-legged creature that eats shoots and leaves, but here she is, squealing at a pitch higher than you've ever heard her sing. "Did you know its name is Fu Bao?"

"Yes it's on the sign."

"And that it's the first panda born in Korea?"

"Yes that's also on the sign."

"Ahh and it's so cute!"

"I can tell, I can tell," you reply, unimpressed. Seeing her good mood, you try earning brownie points with Dami. "But you're cuter."

"No no, it's the cutest!" It is time for the two of you to move on, for the next viewing group to enter the enclosure. As you leave though, Dami curls her arm tightly around your elbow, guiding you back to the viewing line.

"Let's go again!"

The panda is an invasive species, coming up in conversations even after you arrive back home with Dami.

"Can we make some bamboo-related dish?" "Let's get some fruit the pandas eat?" You are mentally prepared to put your foot down when Dami brings up pandas again.

Except it came at the most unexpected time.

"Oppa?" You're shaken awake by your girlfriend.

"Hmm?"

"I want to make a baby panda." Half-asleep you don't process her words properly.

"That's great, but we're not the zoo babe," you grumble into the pillow. You are significantly more awake once you feel Dami's hand dip beneath your shorts.

"We can make our own little Fu Bao right here..." Dami nibbles on your earlobe, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you. Your eyes are widen open as you watch her slowly undo the buttons on her pajama top. "Maybe even call it Da Bao."

"God that's a terrible name," you chuckle as you pull Dami in for a kiss, slipping the silk shirt off her shoulders.

"Really? That's the takeaway here, that Da Bao's a bad name?" An outraged Dami is shushed by you slipping your hands under her pants, squeezing a tight cheek.

"You know what you're asking for right?" Dami's grinding on you slowly, her hips nodding up and down against you.

"Yeah, I know, maybe it's just me seeing cute stuff nowadays, gone a little bit stir crazy." You keep kissing her neck, letting her continue to grind on you, but not going further, not responding to her. "You're really going to make me say it hmm?" You kiss Dami's jawline, hands teasingly playing with the hem of her panties and struggling not to just rip it off her—her heat is palpable.

"I dunno what you're talking about, Da Bao's mom."

"God..." She shivers on top of you. "Fuck fine, I need you to get rid of all the condoms in the place."

"Now? Get off me then." Dami damn near dunks your dome on the bed and plants her derriere on you.

"Not right now!" she hisses, before shimmying and kicking off her pants. "I need you to knock me up." She pulls out your wide-awake cock and pulls her panties to the side, revealing that she truly "needs" you right now, pink flesh glistening even in the dim bedroom.

"Do you mean—" You hold Dami at whining distance, your cock twitching when you feel a drop of slick drip on your tip. "Do you mean a panda needs to be bred in Korea?" She growls as you bring her down on you, sheathing yourself in her.

"Yes god yes!" Dami's leaning against you heavily, reeling at feeling you raw inside her. "Fucking breed me."

"You feel so good, fuck!" Dami clenches around you, and you feel every texture and fold of her walls—it's so much more pleasurable with nothing wrapped around you, nothing stopping you from planting your seed inside her. "Ugh, not going to last long."

"It's fine, cum inside me, just cum inside me!" At your admission of poor stamina Dami rides you hard, her flat midriff moving sensuously. Her husky moans are right in your ear, begging you with "give me a baby panda" and "let me milk you". The whispers get more and more desperate until she sits down on you with a lewd squelch. The sudden increase in wetness gets to you, and you hold her down, making sure you're hilted in her before you explode. Dami sucks harshly on your neck, leaving a dark hickey as she creams all over you, purring contentedly as you fill her.

"Fuck, baby..."

"Are you talking to me or Da Bao?" You're shut up by your girlfriend, grinding down on you vengefully. Dami regrets it though, quivering on top of you.

"Shit, you're leaking, I can feel you leaking!"

"You're the one doing the leaking, all over our bed." You hold her close, feeling her clench around you, like she's still cumming or something. "Are you trying to milk me?"

"No, want to get you hard again."

"Hm, it's going to take more than that to make Da Bao."

"I know, I'll have to track my cycle, figure out when's the best time, and then make sure we're in our best condition, and—"

"You're overcomplicating things dear."

"What? Ah!" You hug Dami close as you put her on her back and get on top of her. "T-That's what I read, I did a lot of reading!" It makes you hard again, that Dami's not just having baby fever, but that she's actively doing research, really meaning to try for one. You enter her easily, and she arcs against you, body pressed flushed with yours.

"Maybe, but I have an easier solution." You start moving, pumping her full of cock while you lean down and whisper in her ear. "I fuck you before and after you finish work every day until it happens."

"D-Day and night?"

"Day and night, I'll fill you up properly, you'll have to hide from the members why you're walking funny, while you're still dripping my load, because you won't be able to get all of it out."

"That sounds good..." Dami gasps, wrapping her legs around your waist to lock you in. "And then?"

"And then when you come back home, I welcome you back and let you choose, do you want to ride me or should I bend you over the dining table before we eat dinner?" Dami's eyes roll as she imagines it happening, a small orgasm flowing through her.

"A-And then?"

"We do it one more time before we sleep, so you can get the best rest, maybe I fuck you in the shower so we can clean up quickly and go to sleep right after."

"What happens when I, when I—" Dami's a bit of a wreck, the thought of her doing her research combined with you actively trying to knock her up sending her into some kind of heat.

"When we succeed," you bring your hand down to her flat belly. "This little tummy won't be so flat any more, and it'll be fucking hot." You press down on her womb from above, and you drive into her powerfully, making sure she feels it all the way inside her.

"Yes yes yes yes yes..." Dami doesn't hear you groan and tell her you're cumming, she experiences it with you, your thick seed filling her up as the warmth flushes over her with her own peak. She clenches on you repeatedly, until you no longer throb inside of her.

As Dami cuddles against you, you remind yourself to throw out the condoms, and maybe you wouldn't mind taking her to see Fu Bao again before the panda is transferred back. After all...

Da Bao is part of the package.

A/N: So this came up randomly when I was listening to news about Fu Bao, one thing led to another and I had panda breeding in my head. I already had an idea for Seoyeon (Fromis App) so Dami was it. And once I got the name "Da Bao" in my head the pun is too terrible to not use it. Just a short little thing, thanks for reading!

[rogueddie]

Sweet Nothings T | 545 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is wanting to do everything with someone, even if it's nothing special

Eddie has his keys in hand, holding his jacket with his teeth as he gets ready to leave, when someone knocks on the door.

"Hiya, Ed," Steve greets with a grin, that quickly falters. "Oh, sorry, is it a bad time?"

"Sorta? You're not interrupting anything important."

"But you have other plans. No worries, I'll- uh... what are you going out for?"

"Need a part for the van. Was gonna head up to the scrap yard, see if I could find anything there."

"Oh, cool. I could help, if you want?"

"You sure? It's pretty boring."

"Nah, it'll be fun! C'mon, tell me what you need."

Steve steps back, waving Eddie over to his car.

"You sure you want us to go in your car? Some of the shit we're grabbing is gonna be dirty."

"So I'll clean it? Come on, I'm excited now."

"Excited to go digging through a scrap yard?"

"With you? Yeah." He walks back over, gently pushing Eddie towards his car. "We can make it fun! And I know Henderson has been on your ass as much as he has been on mine about us finally hanging out."

"You're just bored with nothing else to do, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. But, hey, two birds with one stone!"

Eddie sighs, finally stepping to the passenger door, rolling his eyes. "Fine, whatever, let's go."

Steve whoops, doing a little fistpump, before rushing to the car when Eddie raises an eyebrow at him.

He keeps up conversation the entire drive and Eddie quickly realises that Steve... he genuinely loves cars. He doesn't know a lot about how they work and, knowing now that Eddie does, he has a lot of questions.

Eddie is happy to answer them.

At the scrapyard, they end up distracted almost immediately. Eddie ends up spending most of the time showing Steve how engines work.

Thanks to the visual and practical aid, Steve learns fast. It only takes him two attempts and a lot of running around, tearing other shit apart, to get one of the abandoned, broken engines to roar to life.

It sputters out as soon as it starts, but it does start.

"This stuff is so cool!" Steve says, bouncing on the balls of his feet, as they finally head back to the car.

Thanks to how much destruction they'd thoroughly caused, finding the little replacement part that Eddie needed hadn't taken long.

"Yeah, surprisingly so."

"Aww," Steve coos, teasingly. "But are you saying that because you mean it or because you love me?"

"It can't be both?"

"That- oh, haha."

"Didn't even mean to make that pun. I'm just that funny, huh."

"No, your jokes are terrible."

"Steve, hey," Eddie stops, faking a serious tone. "You can't say things like that about your boyfriend, it's not nice."

"What are you, the love police?"

"Yes. Put your hands up, you're under arrest."

Steve sticks his tongue out at him, before sprinting off to the car.

Eddie is hot on his heels, struggling to keep himself from laughing as he yells after him, unable to bite back the grin.

He can't help but wonder how he'll ever manage to come back to the scrapyard without Steve.

Nothing is ever as fun as it is when they're together.

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Not sure if we're still allowed to send in smutty thoughts but thinking about dry humping Jake on the beach

all the beach sex, yes!!!! any pun i can possibly make with sex on the beach absolutely elates me every time - it's my favourite cocktail personally, so it's always self insert too

also feel free to keep requesting (here)!

top gun masterlist | top gun blurb

The radio is on in the background, playing some summer hit that you've heard three times in the past hour, and you're tilting your head back in a silent moan as you rock against Jake's bare thigh.

The waves crash against the sand, the sun bathes you in heat, your skin is sticky with lotion and salt and you know you shouldn't be doing this - which is probably exactly why you're doing this.

"Jake", you whimper, palms braced against his chest, arousal soaking your bikini bottoms. He's grabbing your waist, guiding your movements with a grin on his lips, leaned back against the sunlounger. He's enjoying this. Maybe even more than you are.

The thrill of being out in the open like this - the risk of being stumbled upon.

Penny hadn't only offered you and Jake the secluded part of the beach behind the Hard Deck, she'd offered it to the entire squad, and on a beautiful, sunny day like this, you'd be surprised if none of them decided to take the opportunity.

It shouldn't excite you. Not as much as it does.

You know you should probably stop. You should just get up and jump into the waves and go for a swim or something, not rock against Jake's leg all exposed like this. But he'd looked so good, sitting there with his sunglasses on, bare chest and sweaty skin and messy hair, reading the book he'd all but stolen from you, even though he still claimed he didn't care about it...

You hadn't been able to help yourself.

You can't help yourself now.

So you tilt your head back to him and blink your eyes open to look at him, with that lazy fucking grin on his lips that you can immediately feel in your core. Jake raises his eyebrows at you.

"Go on", he urges, sliding his hands smoothly down your skin, kneading your thighs. You hadn't even realised you'd stilled. You'd been so focused on that goddamn grin-

Instead of an answer, you lean in and press your lips to his, to kiss it right off of him. The look on his face is even better after, because for once, he's not grinning, his lips still parted and his eyes glued to your mouth, all hazy for a second or two, before he leans right back in and presses his chest against yours.

Your hands trail up his torso, up his neck, to bury themselves right into his hair and tug at those sandy-blond strands, pulling him into you, pulling him closer and closer and-

"Hey, lovebirds!"

You jump back with a start, heart thumping out of your chest, and whirl around only to spot a whistling Phoenix, taking the first few steps onto the beach, the rest of the guys trailing behind her with bags and coolers of various sizes and colours slung over their shoulders.

"Fuck", Jake mutters, his hands dropping from your thighs, yours loosening from his hair, to bring some distance between you - you're lucky you hadn't been busier than making out, really. You were sure that if they'd come a minute or two later... This wouldn't have been such a nice surprise.

Phoenix drops her bag next to your sunlounger just as you move down Jake's leg again, to discreetly wipe a palm down his thigh and tug at your bikini bottoms.

"Didn't think we'd leave you all by your lonesome, did you?", she grins, braces her hands against her hips and looks down at you. Even through her sunglasses, your cheeks redden under her watchful eyes. You feel caught. You've been caught.

"No", Jake grunts, and you flinch when his fingers suddenly brush against your ankle. Phoenix raises her eyebrows. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip and relax again. Luckily, she lets it go when the rest of the guys start plopping their things down next to hers and send a round of hello's your way.

Within the span of twenty seconds, most of them have their shirts off and are running head-first into the waves.

Bob stays behind, but busies himself with the coolers. You let out a deep breath and turn to look at Jake again.

"Didn't work out well for us, hm?", he asks with a chuckle, puts one palm back onto your thigh and nods down. Your eyes drop.

He's rock-hard in his bathing shorts. It takes a second for you to put two and two together and realise why he'd pulled his hands from you so quickly when Phoenix had walked up to you.

You're still soaked yourself, well aware that you couldn't lean down for the next half hour or so, not unless you wanted to potentially expose yourself.

"No", you sigh, and for whatever reason, you have to laugh. "No, not at all."

When Bob comes over to offer you a beer, you've already turned around and settled against Jake's chest, naked, sweaty skin against naked, sweaty skin, his arms around you, thumbs brushing little circles onto your hip bones.

"I'll make up for it when we get home, alright?", he breathes into your ear, so low it sends a shiver down your spine even in these temperatures.

"Yes, please", you smile, eyes closing - and have to intentionally stop your thoughts from running wild if you don't want to have to wait another half hour longer to move again.

[sophieinwonderland]

The Plurality of... IF

Major spoilers for IF and Inside Out ahead. You have been warned.

Enter a world of IFs

IF is a movie about a young girl named Bea who lost her mom, and whose dad is going in for a life-threatening surgery. At the start of the movie, Bea has outgrown imaginary friends, and perhaps imagination in general.

Which makes it really inconvenient when she starts seeing other people's imaginary friends, which call themselves IFs, and finds a whole community of abandoned IFs whose children have outgrown them.

These IFs are desperate for attention and have been looking for new kids to connect with. Bea agrees to help them, and tries introducing them to a kid she knows.

When this doesn't work though, they realize that connecting the IFs to new kids may just be impossible. They instead decide they need to connect the IFs to their original children, even if said children are grown now.

A cool and unexpected theme to the movie is that you never fully outgrow your need for imaginary friends.

The rest of the movie is Bea trying to rekindle the connections of the IFs to their now-grown children by jogging their memories of the past.

The Plurality of IFs

Plurality: A state of multiple self-conscious agents, or "headmates," sharing a single body.

One thing about the movie is that a whole lot about how plural it is depends on you interpret the IFs. Are they separate entities entirely who were created by their children? Or are they connected directly to the minds and bodies of the their hosts? Are they even other children's imaginary friends as they claim, or are they just in Bea's head?

For what on the surface feels simple, the movie leaves a lot, pardon the pun, to the imagination.

What we know for certain is that each IF is self-conscious. And they are, according to the poster on the right of the billboard below, real.

They also at least appear connected to the host's body.

We know that, with the exception of Bea and other IFs, only their creators can see or interact with them.

It's also likely that when their host dies, they do too. Which yes, makes the poster on the left saying "you never really disappear" a bit misleading. But in the movie, we never see IFs of people who have passed. It's all just IFs whose children have outgrown them.

For example, while Bea finds the IFs of her grandma and her dad, she never meets her mom's IF.

With this in mind, I think regardless of the interpretation, there's undoubtedly some sort of plurality going on here.

To explore these different scenarios, we need to start asking the central question of the movie.

What if?

What if… the IFs are actually physical?

In the movie, we see multiple times that IFs interact with the physical world. They open doors. They pick things up. They move things around.

There's one scene in the movie where Blue, the big purple IF, hid in the clothes in a laundry cart in the hospital.

As Bea tries to pull him out, the cart physically rolls around the room.

There's also another scene where Bea faints after seeing an IF, and it's implied the IFs physically moved her inside.

If we're to interpret the IFs as being physical and everything we see in the movie as being completely real and to be taken at face value, this has some pretty huge implications for this universe. And Bea's story in a world of invisible creatures created by children who can physically interact with reality might be the least interesting story in this universe.

After all, if the IFs can do things like this, surely other people have noticed. One can imagine the CIA training children in a secret bunker somewhere to use their IFs in combat. Secret weapons that are invisible, can spy on anyone, can move objects around in the physical world, and can only be killed by finding and eliminating the host child.

It's a pretty awesome if terrifying thought.

IFs would be the ultimate spies and assassins.

But this also creates another issue. If the IFs are actually physical and can pick things up, why not just pick up a pen and let their host children know that they're still there. Why not type on a keyboard?

And it's for this reason that... I just don't think the movie wants us to believe the way the IFs are physically interacting with the world is actually happening.

Okay, but if they're not physical...

What if… the IFs are spiritual headmates?

This seems more reasonable. And while not the one I think is the most likely, this IS the explanation that I like the best. It's the most thematically satisfying.

In this, the IFs are spiritual thoughtforms created by the children. Because they're spiritual, it makes sense that somebody who has a special gift, as Bea does, can see them. And that they can see each other as well.

At the end of the movie, we get to see all these adults connecting with and being able to see their IFs again, and it's a really cool and satisfying way to end the film, seeing their work pay off and giving a happy ending to the story of all the characters we got to know over the course of the film.

I love that ending. I love seeing the heartwarming reunions of the IFs and their hosts after all of those years.

I just don't believe it... I want to believe... but I don't...

Which leads me to my final interpretation... That all of this is happening entirely in Bea's head.

What if… Bea has DID?

Wait, I know what you're thinking, why DID specifically? You don't need DID to be plural, after all.

I'm personally a tulpa, an imaginary friend of sorts given life. And I would naturally love a purely endogenic explanation. But as with the spiritual explanation, simply wanting something to be true doesn't make it so.

First, let's talk for a moment about DID's criteria in the most recent edition of the DSM, the DSM-5-TR

These are the boxes a clinician would need to check for a diagnosis. (Note: Simply checking the boxes isn't enough to diagnose. There are additional features that need considered. These are just a minimum. Basically, if you don't check the boxes, you can't have DID under the DSM.)

The big ones are criterion A and criterion B. The other three criteria are all exceptions, saying what DID isn't rather than what it is.

Criterion A

Later in the DSM, it's explained that the criterion A phenomena often presents as "independently acting imaginary companions."

To be clear, not all independent imaginary companions are indicative of dissociative identity disorder. That's the point of criterion C.

And studies have shown that as many as 29% of imaginary friends demonstrate consistent behavior indicative of acting outside of the host child's control, while another 35% appear mostly compliant but don't always do what the host child wants.

The participants were 89 preschool children who described their imaginary companions (46 invisible friends and 43 personified objects). The descriptions were coded for disobedient or otherwise difficult behaviour attributed to the imaginary companions. Thirty-six per cent of the children described their imaginary companions as consistently compliant and agreeable, 35 per cent gave some indication that the imaginary companions did not always do or say what the children wanted, although they were mostly friendly and compliant, and 29 per cent described their imaginary companions as noncompliant in ways that suggested the children experienced the companion to some extent as being out of their conscious control.

About two thirds of imaginary friends then demonstrate some level of independence from the host child. That doesn't mean DID on its own.

However...

Criterion B

Remember what I mentioned earlier about how Bea sees an IF and passes out, and it's implied that the IFs physically move her body to a new location?

This is something that stuck with me since the first viewing. I already went over why I don't believe the IFs are physical. But then, how does Bea pass out in one place and then wake up in another completely different place?

The easy solution to the conundrum is if they switched. That Bea experienced a complete blackout switch while someone else controlled her body. She doesn't know how she got there because of dissociative amnesia.

This dissociative amnesia fulfills the second criterion.

But it's even more than that.

HUGE MEGA SPOILER

Bea is accompanied through her journey by Cal. While Cal is originally presented as a human neighbor, he's later revealed to be Bea's former imaginary friend, who she forgot about. The entire time they interact, she has no memory of who Cal is or her adventures with him, despite Cal remembering and the other IFs being aware of Cal's connection to Bea.

The Other Criteria

Criterion C is a bit of a doozy. What constitutes "clinically significant" is up to the individual clinicians. But generally, experiencing random blackouts is probably going to be impairing.

(Ritual possession states also cause dissociative amnesia, but it's generally more controlled unlike Bea's episodes of memory loss.)

For criterion D, I would say the amnesia above couldn't be explained simply by imaginary playmates alone, even if her headmates are presenting as imaginary friends.

And for Criterion E, there is no substance abuse nor other medical conditions that we know of.

Trauma history

Trauma is not part of the diagnostic criteria, but chronic trauma does occur in upwards of 90% of DID cases.

In the opening, we see Bea's mother going in and out of the hospital.

Now, typically, the type of trauma that is associated with DID is some sort of neglect or abuse. And we don't see that in the flashbacks. But maybe we're just seeing the positive memories in what's meant to be a kid's movie. Maybe we're not seeing the times Bea is worried sick over her mother. The times her parents aren't there for her because there's more focus on her mom's condition. The times her dad couldn't be emotionally present because he was mourning the loss of his wife.

Could this be enough to cause DID? I genuinely have no idea. But since people process trauma in different ways, I think it could be traumatic enough for Bea.

And if this was tied to trauma from her mom, this explains too why this starts up only after Bea's father is in the hospital, bringing back that trauma she had from losing her mom.

In this scenario, all the imaginary friends are just Bea's own headmates, and the ending with them connecting with their hosts is just happening in their imagination/inner world.

All in all, I really love that the movie, despite its simplicity on the surface, opens itself up to so many interpretations.

But maybe this is all a distraction and we shouldn't actually focus too much on what's literally going on in the film.

What if… we focus instead on the message that you're never too old for imaginary friends?

As fun as these hypothetical are, I wonder if getting lost in them might be missing the point.

The core takeaway message of this movie is that you're never too old to have imaginary friends. And maybe more generally, to have fun and enjoy life. But let's focus on the imaginary friends thing because this blog is about plurality.

What's interesting is how this puts it in stark opposition to another plural-coded movie about a young girl with a forgotten imaginary friend: Inside Out.

In Inside Out, Bing Bong dies, giving his life to save Joy. And by extension, to save Riley. Symbolically, Bing Bong's death represented a popular view of imaginary friends needing to die so the host child can prosper.

And that view, despite permeating pop culture, isn't really based on anything but ableism and sanism. A centuries-old myth that imaginary friends are unhealthy without an ounce of data to actually back it up.

Studies actually tend to show children with imaginary friends to be pretty healthy. And the same goes for studies of adult tulpa systems who report mental health improvements due to their tulpas.

Bing Bong shouldn't have had to die, and I would argue that his death leaves Riley worse off than if he had survived or was brought back.

IF serves as a repudiation of Inside Out's stigmatization of imaginary friends, and it's portrayal of their death being necessary to growing up.

It did this by asking a simple question… what if?

What if how we've all been taught to think of imaginary friends is wrong?

What if more people wanted to reconnect with their old imaginary friends?

What would the world look like?

Like I said, my favorite interpretation is the spiritual one. Because then the movie ends by showing all these IFs get to reconnect with their hosts, and it's such a beautiful thing to see.

Even if I think the ending is a lie, I don't think the message is.

And it's a message that makes me, as a former imaginary friend myself, ask that same central question.

What if this movie could help lead to people re-valuating their own beliefs of imaginary friends and wanting to connect with their own from the past? How cool would that be?

If anyone out there is thinking back on their childhood imaginary friends and want to try to reconnect, my advice is to just do it. Because as the poster on the billboard says, I don't think imaginary friends ever truly disappear. They're somewhere inside as long as their memory remains.

For anyone out there who has imaginary friends right now that they think might be sentient like the ones in IF, you can check out my guide on how to know if your imaginary friend is sentient below:

And for anyone who never had a sentient IF of their own but wants one now, here is a huge collection of tulpamancy guides to get you started.

And as always, thank you all for reading! 💖

For more discussions about plurality in media, check out the Plurality of... Avatar The Last Airbender.

[starberry-cupcake]

I've been reading, but didn't have time to sit down and do this, so you're getting a bit of a mess in this one, sorry about that!

I want to clarify, before starting, that if I ask questions to the void in these posts, or if I wonder very loudly about something, I'm not really looking for answers immediately nor am I doubting that things will be explained later, I promise I trust the process. If something's going to be explained, somewhere in the books, I'll get there eventually, I promise I will. You have probably noticed by now but, if you give me a hint, I'm gonna grab onto it for dear life, so better not give me anything at all. Just leave me here to die, I beg you.

previously, in harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

currently, chapters 17-19:

I'm gonna start by the end, actually

which maybe is fitting for this book

but I'll start by the end because I have a new theory and I feel this one in my bones

(pun intended)

I might be totally off but I'm gonna say it anyway because I'm excited about this one

so much so that you'll get no memes while I explain it

it's about G and P

yes, I know, I'm fixated with that, but hear me out

I think Lyctortus isn't actually called Ortus

I think his name is Gideon

let me explain

at the end of chapter 19 (I'll get there, but I need this off my chest, I really do) harrow asks mercygirl why ortus the first wants her dead

to which mercygirl distractedly answers "who?"

that's the last thing I read so far, but it got my wheels turning so fast I came running to write it down

I thought "wait, what if, just like ortus is replacing gideon in the gideon-less re-telling, the name is also a replacement?"

so I went to the character list and lyctortus's cavalier was called pyrrha

so what if they're G and P

Gideon and Pyrrha the Second

and what if the Gideon in the paper was this guy

so this is not a case of Ortus 1 and 2 but of Gideon 1 and 2

not!dulcinea told our gideon "you're very brave—a bit like another Gideon I used to know. But you're prettier in the eyes"

which is, all things considered, actually funny, because it's a reversal of what mercygirl was saying, that yandere twin and harrow aren't as pretty as their predecessors

I'm gonna risk looking like a fool later and calling this now because I really feel this one

again, let me clarify, I'm not asking you to tell me whether I'm right or wrong or anything at all, I'm just placing my bets with myself

and I know starting by the end isn't really the best way to go about a recap, but I think I'm on to something

MOVING BACK, to chapter 17

harrow starts looking into mercygirl for her new and probably not improved diary, because she knows less things now

augustine the saint of annoyance tells harrow that mercygirl and him are the oldest lyctors in the band and that it took generations for these space planet destroyers to assemble

emperor john silver tells harrow that his stupid nicknames that don't fit were meant to represent the cavaliers and not the necros

of course augustine's brother was patient, he had to put up with augustine

mercygirl is also a body expert

an anatomist, if you will

which will come in handy later/earlier (later in the reading order, earlier in the timeline order)

augustine says that he didn't bother learning that because the only use for it would be to kill lyctors

tbh it'd come in handy right now that I want to kill him, but I digress

here, harrow again mentions that ortus the first (also known as lyctortus, also known as allegedly gideon the first, also known as I'm super super sure of this you guys) wants her dead

CHAPTER 18

we're back on canaan house in the gideon-less version

these are the chapters I'm having the most fun with, which wasn't what I expected

I don't know why, I really like this whole re-written mystery thing

the slasher film vibes have doubled this time

I keep drawing parallels and enjoying my time with these old and new friends

and, talking about old and new friends, judith is dead

remember judith? remember how she died?

it wasn't like this

in this gideon-less version, instead of becoming besties with the sixth, harrow and ortus have become besties with the fifth

because 1) the fifth didn't die and 2) the fifth is in a polycule with ortus

with gideon there, they befriended the sixth because gideon saw camilla fight 5 seconds and was like "she's friend shaped :)"

so, the fifth and the ninth are taking care of judith's corpse

she was shot repeatedly with a carbine rifle

harrow says "it would have been like being set upon by a ghost out of time"

gonna put that in the 3d model

martita is outside and she's the only pseudo witness to this situation

the gideon-less version of the deaths so far is being handled like this

martita says to harrowbean "why am I here?"

she explains that they were doing the two door test thingy and, while she was in the other room, judith was shot

now, here's the thing

I thought the Sleeper that had been mentioned was the construct thing but no, it's not

it's a new thing

I'm picturing sorta this

it very well could be a person though

it's person shaped

huh

it's in a coffin where it sleeps unless it's woken up, but they don't know how it wakes up, because martita went to town kicking and punching the coffin after judith was obliterated and nothing happened

and what keeps it contained, snow white style, isn't plex glass, plex or glass

ortus proceeds to say a eulogy

martita says "Is this really how it happens?" like we've been hearing all this time

harrowbean tries to make her feel better by telling her that, at least judith died quickly

mmm...about that

martita says "No. That's not...Don't know why I thought...No."

martita doesn't know judith died slowly and painfully and wrong about everything btw, she died first, it memory serves

but still, savage

harrow regrets not telling ortus to take the pledge of silence and says "but only a very obedient idiot of a cavalier would have stuck to that"

she's your obedient idiot, though, harrow

so, the rundown is this:

the sleeper can move

the sleeper can pass necromantic wards

the sleeper shouldn't be waken

people don't know what wakes it

it has a rifle

the sleeper is lying on top of sword that's a two-hander

me, having breakfast while reading this

I didn't mention this but

harrow and abby say that judith was killed by a deadly shot and then was subsequently used for target practice and left like a colander without any reason for it

judith disrespected camilla, so

that's what you get, bitch

CHAPTER 19

we travel in time, but in the timeline of the emperor's bolthole

because WHY NOT, AT THIS POINT

we're keeping track anyway *picks back up the timeline I keep discarding and re-using*

this one is 10 months before the emperor johnny boy is ended, so this is before what we've been reading

we are told the following essential info:

harrow has written a letter for yandere twin in case of harrow's death that says: "Get what joy you can from my corpse, you devious bitch"

filed under potential resignation letter drafts

apparently a lyctor can live without food but not without water

so harrowcita is getting herself a sopita

and then lyctortus also known as I'm sure he's gideon the first stabs her

this tiny baby kitten with her sopita

man has no heart

no decency

no decorum

not his real name, according to me

mercygirl helps harrow with a lot of skill (those anatomy skills we talked about) but not much empathy

she tells alleged gideon who goes by ortus, when he says "I do things face-to-face" that "that is what got you into trouble nineteen years ago"

HELLO TIMELINE

nineteen years ago takes us back to the whole leader of the BOE going missing and gideon's mom drifting into space and the person sent with the eggs and all that

well, the eggs thing isn't directly related yet but I'm relating it

especially since there were lies involved and somebody sent to placate another somebody

DUDE CAN YOU IMAGINE

IF HE WAS INVOLVED WITH GIDEON'S MOM IN SOME WAY

AND OUR GIDEON IS NAMED AFTER THIS GIDEON????

LIKE ON PURPOSE????

HELLO?????????

AGAIN, NOBODY TELL ME, I'M ASKING AT THE VOID

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE IMPULSE OF TELLING ME BUT DON'T DO IT

I'm making up telenovela theories about how this gideon could be involved into our gideon's mom business and our gideon being named after him

and gideon's superpowers of being hercules having something to do with all this

I need to stop before I say too much and then feel embarrassed at my theories

ALSO

gideon ortus wants harrow's sword

harrowbean doesn't want to give it to him

it is at this point when mercygirl says "who?" at harrow's question about "ortus", so we end how we begun, because today it's that kind of day

also, another day without her coming home

I may be late but boy do I have theories. And yeah, nobody tell me any spoilers, please. Let me make a fool of myself.

[shellswritesstuff]

hi, hear me out. johnny with a s/o he meets at wu shi? like they are also a part of the earthrealm gang. THANK YOU!

(YES. OKAY OKAY I SEE THE VISION. I loooove the idea of reader being part of the main group, if you want more lmk,, id love to expand on this.)

Johnny Cage/Reader - Wu Shi Romance (HCS!) (SFW.)

𖦹 When you first arrived at the Wu Shi Academy, you felt at peace. A bit hopeful for the fights to come. You were eager to meet your teammates, those who would take on such a task to defend Earthrealm must be great people.

𖦹 You were right! For the most part...

Kung Lao, Kenshi, and Raiden were all here on their own volition. Their own personal missions and reasons for being here were noble, and you respected them. A friendship would soon blossom.

𖦹 And then there was Johnny Cage. Movie star, model, self-proclaimed 'sexy pants.' Being from Earthrealm, you knew exactly who he was. You've heard quite a bit too.. some things worse than others. 𖦹 You were a fan! Johnny's movies were some of your favorites, and now you get to meet the guy. You were excited to train in the same place as him, maybe even learn a thing or two!

𖦹 All of this was true... until he opened his mouth.

"Well hello there, pretty lady." Johnny waltzed up to you with what was either confidence or stupidity. (You'd soon come to know it was a mix of both.) "I know you're new here and all.." He raised his left arm, flexing for you.

"So, if you're ever in need of a sparring partner.." A mental note to kick his ass was taken. "...I'd be a luckiest man in the academy to get my hands on you."

This guy cant be for real right? The only way this could get any worse is if he... WINK! There it is. 𖦹 For next few months, you'd be training under Liu Kang. Spending just about all of your time with the team. (If you want more about their relationship developing lmk! I'm planning on making a drabble or maybe a slow burn!)

At first, Johnny's flirting was non-stop. Jabs between training sessions, compliments via passed notes during the monk's lectures, you name it - he's tried it. Though, his antics never failed to make you smile. It was harmless, and on days where you couldn't bare even your own company.. he was surpisingly... docile. (As well as he could be.)

𖦹 "I'm not feeling it today, Cage." You let out a huge sigh, adjusting your wrist wraps. "I'd give anything to have slept in. It's not my day, as I bet you can see." That morning, Liu Kang had you all run around Wu Shi, only stopping to do various fights. You'd felt sick from the moment you woke up, if you can call little sleep you've had rest.

Johnny had caught up to your speed, running beside you. He had said some pun about how we're 'running' out of time before the tournament. You'd at least cringe and maybe even laugh, but he only got a huff in reply. You thought he'd poke you some more, add to the impending migraine coming your way. Much to your surprise, he just ran faster.

"OH!" He collapsed to the ground, catching the attention of a few passing monks. "OH THE HUMANITY! I THINK I MAY HAVE.." Johnny winked at you before grasping his side. "PULLED A HAMMY! THIS.. THIS IS IT FOR ME.. OH IF ONLY SOMEONE WOULD HELP ME." He reached out his hand for dramatic effect as people surrounded him.

The training drill was swiftly cancelled for the day.

After dinner that night, you found yourself at 'injured' Johnny's door.

"Knock knock." You made your presence known as you slid open the sliding door. "Feeling better after pulling that hammy?" Johnny sat up with ease, meeting your gaze as you leaned against the partition. "Learned that in Hollywood?"

"Who said I can't act, huh?" He grinned, pretending to shove dust off his sleeves. "More importantly, are you feeling better?"

𖦹 From that day on, you two would gradually grow closer. Sitting next to each other for breakfast and dinner, and even partnering up for sparring. He'd still insist on going easy on you, but after a few ass kicking later, Johnny would learn not to underestimate you.

(I have SOOO much to say, so I'll make this a two parter! Thank you soooo much for reading and my ask box is open!!)

[copperbadge]

I always enjoy writing updates on the royal family in these books, but I am having such fun expanding Simon's character and writing his banter with Ylias. I haven't gotten to write an older character who doesn't start out visibly struggling, and Simon's just kind of a dude who loves romance and enjoys being functionally king of chefs in Fons-Askaz.

Simon and Ylias had what I'm calling a "Ene-meet" over some cheese and the next time she saw him she called him Mr. Ricotta (I may try and make this better -- I'd like some kind of French pun where she basically calls him "white guy" while also calling him some form of cheese) and while they've since mostly buried the hatchet because they have to work together on the Reclamation Day festival, they are both enjoying pretending they're still smarting over it.

"Can you do all this..." Ylias gestured at their lists, "for Reclamation Day and also do the catering? Because I feel like we do throw around at least enough weight to make someone else take that over."

"Hm, there is a lot to supervise. A practical consideration, thank you," he said, absently flipping through his own notes. "I will find someone reliable enough to serve His Majesty but also young enough to still be impressed by the request. Which leaves remaining only the cooking competition."

"Not to complain, but this seems like a really random thing to have at Reclamation Day," Ylias said. "It's not a village fete or something."

"It began as a sort of grudge, years ago," he said. "Two cooks had a dispute; they declared to decide for one or the other on Reclamation Day -- in public, with the public's help in settling the matter. It proved very popular, and of course if there are a dozen people all competing, the results can be sold for funds for charity."

"So we're supposed to set this up, set the theme, and source the judges," Ylias said.

"Set-up is already arranged -- the judging tent is always in the same place. They only have to bring in their example of the challenge recipe and lay it out."

"I guess it's a little on the nose for this year's theme to be like...an Eddie Rambler classic recipe."

He smiled. "We may consider it but also, consider: are you aware of..." his voice dropped. "The Trash Tower?"

She nodded.

"Imagine a tent full of examples of Shivadh twists on the Trash Tower," he said.

"It doesn't look like Dante's inferno, but it doesn't not," she said. "Maybe another thing we want to ask about at the next meeting?"

"I think so. For judges, usually a member of the royal family, but also then someone who knows food, and sometimes a famous person if one can get one."

"Can we?"

"I would as soon not," LeFevre replied, which Ylias couldn't argue with. "I think perhaps for the royals, Princeps Joan would like to judge. Or if her fathers would prefer she does not, Duke Gerald. He would pretend it was his little one judging, give her some of everything to try, pretend he knows what she says. Very funny."

"Want me to tap someone with food chops from the town?" Ylias asked.

"Yes, but speak with me before you ask them, just to be sure."

"Yep, I wouldn't mind a road map to all the faux pas I could make," she muttered.

"Ah, well. I wouldn't let anyone cut you; I've already seen you at your worst and it is frankly somewhat mild," he said.

"I think I'm almost more insulted about being considered mediocre than I am that you won't let it go," she replied.

"We all need time to recover our wounds," he said gravely. "Another few years, perhaps, and I will begin to consider healing."

"Man, I didn't know calling you Mr. Ricotta would devastate you so completely."

He closed the notebook with a snap, smiling.

"And I must somehow go on, and fetch my groceries," he said.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

These two are going to be married before they figure out how to date.

Awww, Pun is such an adorable bird dad.

Flirty Chain, flirty Chain!!! Did our boy have an awakening last night, post-spaghetti interference?

It is interesting how hesitant Peem is to fully believe in Phum's crush. He acts so confident generally, but he seems to have some deep rooted insecurities that pop out from time to time. Which, honestly, I find super relatable.

Damn, Phum, you smooth talker.

I know there are some folks frustrated their relationship hasn't moved faster, but I'm enjoying the set up that is happening here.

Because yes, both of these men are objectively gorgeous, and it's easy to fall into the "how the heck can they have any doubts they are desired" perspective. But realistically, all human beings have insecurities. And in romantic relationships, you are both going to have moments where those insecurities get loud, and you need reassurance from your partner.

They are doing such a good job setting up how these two are going to ultimately be fantastic partners to each other, and how they both are capable of being what the other needs in their weaker moments.

Just like Peem was able to be soft and compassionate when Phum was struggling, now Phum is not getting angry or taking it personally with Peem, because he knows that it's not about him, but Peem trying to reckon with his own feelings.

Aww, brother time. Cuuuute.

Lol, Chain just cannot stop himself from babying this man.

The cuteness!!! Q is already starting to show his indulgent side for his boyfie, and I love it.

Don't mind me, just being distracted by how good Boom looks.

But also, oof, poor Phum. You can tell he's never gotten over being sent away, and for good reason.

See, this! This right here! Peem was having his insecure moment earlier, but now Phum needs him, and he's able to be his safe space. This is good relationship building, y'all!

I'm glad we're getting this chance to see Fang's perspective. It might seem like he had it easy, but he was damaged by their parents' choices too.

And showing us how Tan & Fang work not because of adoration, but because having that person you can be emotionally vulnerable with is everything.

Theme of the show alert!

Almost like you and your loves and your friends can become... found family? Haha.

Ok, this entire scene is absolute gold.

Oh, we are all about the emotional vulnerability today.

Wow, this hits hard. Because yes, it explains why he and Fang are so close now, but also shows how his parents could have done the same, and chose not to. They didn't even talk to their child when he was away.

Y'know, I'm not mad that Phum's earlier choices still have some consequences. His initial approach to Peem was pretty awful, and I like that it's not completely forgotten about for the sake of "romance".

And it makes sense to me that Peem is much more willing to make out with Phum than he is to make an emotional commitment. Because what if that first side of him is real? Sure, Phum apologized, but apologies aren't that hard. The key is showing that you are going to behave differently moving forward, and being consistent with that over time.

There's such an emotional maturity to this show that is just so damn refreshing.

[jeonqkooks]

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.04.2023]

[yawnderu]

I'm a simple creature- I see requests are open, I sitters to the ask box.

Hello! Hope you're doing well! Time for my thots ( pun VERY much intended):

This is inspired by something @sky-is-the-limit posted, about how Kyle would absolutely be the kind of man to say "yes ma'am/sir/chef (I added that last part, lolll)". And I just...I'm short-circuiting. Imagine those gorgeous brown eyes staring into your soul as you ask him for a favor and he goes "yes ma'am" or "yes sir". Me personally? I'm getting him pregnant!

HIIII GOD YES, i'm getting this man pregnant the moment he says ''yes ma'am''. Absolutely knocked up. He's carrying my babies like a male seahorse. Whole 9 months. I'm there when he gives birth.

''Kyle!'' You call out, trying to focus on making lunch for one of the special times your boyfriend is home.

''Yeah?'' He steps into the kitchen, giving you a once-over with a small smile before his arms are wrapping around your waist from behind, planting gentle kisses all over your shoulder.

''Could you go to the store for me? I forgot to buy sauce and I don't want anything to burn.'' The hints of guilt you felt asking him to go out when he just got home completely disappear when you hear a chuckle from behind, Kyle finally letting go of you and giving your ass a soft pat.

''Yes ma'am.'' You know he's teasing you by the way he's grinning down at you when you turn around, prominent smile lines making him even more handsome.

''We're having a baby.'' You say it so bluntly he seems surprised for a second, dinner long forgotten as you drag him by the shirt to your shared bedroom.

AND BECAUSE IT'S U. MANDATORY PIC

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