#yes trans people will always exist

[vampire-nyx]

Hey here’s an idea instead of endlessly posting “we’ve survived worse before we will continue to exist!” About times when trans people very much WERE NOT SURVIVING, instead we post as many verified and trusted resources for diy hrt and gender affirming resources, emergency shelter and hotlines, tips for interacting with the police, and tips/resources for recovering from hate crime as we can get our hands on so the people most at risk of actually seriously not surviving this have a better chance

[uncanny-tranny]

Trans dude whose favourite NFL team are the Packers

[dennisboobs]

i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.

[izzyliker]

heartwarming: the most annoying lesbian separatist trans woman and the most annoying straight trans woman on twitter are fighting

[rasairui]

Post: gender identity is complicated and everyone has their own unique relationship with it. Presentation does not equal gender and not everyone likes strict labels!

Me: Yeah! True! This is great so far please don't turn this into-

Post: I will now use this as an excuse to obsessively list every possible way in which a lesbian ends up with a man. I will equate butches and gnc women to men, completely missing my own point when I said presentation doesn't equal gender. Also being transmasc is always the same as being male aligned btw. I'm going to find a way to fit dissociative identity disorder into this for some reason. I'm also going to be really condescending and talk like no lesbian has ever understood the concept of gender noncomformity, ambiguity and complex relationships to gender. No, I never talk this way about gay men and nblm why do you ask

[butchladymaria]

I agree with your list ! People being asshole about lesbian & other headcanons gtfo! That list could work for many other things too.

But to be sure everyone don’t mix thing up i just want to point out that not liking/ not being fan of an headcanon don’t equal  being an ass about it. It’s the mean actions or words afterwards that are bad. 

hey! i’m glad you found it generalizable. there’s a lot of things on there that get used against pretty much any “diverse” perspectives both inside and out of fan spaces. as for your second point, i don’t disagree with you. there are some queer headcanons that i don’t personally hold, but i’m going to be cheering them on rather than contributing to the negativity we face on a regular basis. you can personally hold a different headcanon without being a jerk.

this is not @ you anon, but there are a lot of people who believe that underrepresented groups seeing themselves in characters — whether through the lens of race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc — is “politicizing” fandom and ruining it somehow, as though a white/cishet/male/abled perspective is the default in art and anything else is “tainting” the “pure” fanspace. some of them might believe those voices can exist — so long as they keep their heads down and don’t take up too much space. the fact of the matter is that’s a bigoted thing to believe. our existence has been politicized against our will. for the marginalized, fan spaces are just another front we have to push to participate in. if someone finds themself constantly disliking one specific type of queer/nonwhite/disabled/etc. headcanon and feels the need to say over and over how much they don’t like it, they ought to seriously interrogate why that is.

[wanderingandfound]

Second time in about 48 hours that I have gone into the search mines to bring out a specific pride flag for my blog only to be met with either long or thoughtless posts about how x flag is the most inferior or y flag is the most superior while shitting on other flag designs. Like, I am all for making as many flags as you want — the more the merrier no monopolies here. I would just like for people to keep in mind:

Which communities (including geographical and cultural!!!) specific flags come from and why they were created.

You do not need to be represented by every single stripe for the flag to be applicable to you.

If a flag is featuring a specific identity there's probably a reason for that, I don't care if it's ugly.

Please cite sources and inspiration! Flags represent communities and usually come from community involvement and influence.

Seriously unless a flag was made purposefully to demean or alienate others it's probably fine. You don't have to use it or prefer it and you can be annoyed with it but it doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

[rainbowtvz]

rip bu/mbleby blog i followed. you no longer exist in my mind

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

i literally hate when people act like transandrophobia isn't real despite the fact that i am constantly excommunicated from online spaces talking about misogyny/transmisogyny because i am a trans man. despite that the reason that those things do effect me is because i am a trans man. and i am never included in discussions about pregnancy/abortion and u.ter.ine/vag.in.al health despite both of those literally being things i have to think about and deal with because i have a u.ter.us and a vag.ina. despite the fact that i do not pass (and might never pass) and have had to and will probably always have to deal with people misgendering me and seeing me as a woman and being misogynistic to me because of it. and people being chill with me for a while but then automatically seeing me as predatory the second they find out i'm a man. and people seeing me as inherently inferior and physically weaker than cis men.

transphobes will always see me as a woman until they can oppress me about being a man. they will only properly gender me when they can use it against me. to call me weak and predatory and irrelevant and 'entitled.' but sure. i'm not oppressed because i'm a man.

[oh2e]

I’m so sick of queer stories that aren’t about the queer character but about how everyone else reacts to them. It’s boring! It’s old! Queer people exist news flash!

[stillbelievinginfireflies]

to all the ppl talking about what a diversity win this is and how poseidon was a bro for this i uh. think it's a bit relevant that poseidon only offered to grant caenis a wish after raping her. Caeneus then asked to be made a man, so that he could never be hurt again. i get the appeal of trans heroes and finding ourselves in the past because we have always been here but idk that this one really counts as a diversity win or great act of charity on good ol' poseidon's part. act of contrition at best.

shout out to my fave under-appreciated unbreakable transgender hero

[a-polite-melody]

Hey

If you ever find yourself tempted to blame anything negative about certain trans women you’ve met on some “male socialization” which makes all trans women like that

Maybe stop and think for two seconds

“Is the thing I’m talking about also something cis women are taught or will do to other women?”

Because I guarantee you the answer is ‘yes’.

“Oh there’s a problem with trans women treating people like sex objects, especially if the people they’re attracted to are women.”

That’s not a trans woman specific problem. That’s a problem you can also find with cis women at similar levels.

“Trans women act in ways that are misogynistic and don’t question it because ‘by my identity I can’t be a misogynist.’”

That’s not a trans woman specific problem. I think I’ve actually encountered more of this attitude from cis women than I have from trans women, myself.

“Trans women use their status as ‘the most oppressed’ to claim that any of their behaviour—even if it’s creepy, even if it’s bigoted, even if it’s predatory, even if it’s abusive—is justified because it is always ‘against their oppressors’ anyway.”

…Are we forgetting that cis radfems exist? That’s their whole schtick!

“Trans women act entitled to all other women’s bodies, this must be because they were taught as boys to act entitled to women’s bodies”

Acting entitled over women’s bodies is a problem that exists within the population of cis women to the point where it’s even cited as part of what makes up transmisogyny.

All of these things (and more) are much more coherently explained as patriarchal socialization of EVERYONE in society and often then a compounding of using your identity as a reason you shouldn’t need to unpack that. This is a society thing, not an ~AMAB socialization~ thing.

[butchvamp]

okay i've played a bit more and i have a lot of thoughts about Taash and the way gender is being handled overall in this game...

first i will say the positives which is that i do really appreciate the attempt at incorporating trans characters both in the world as companions and allowing us to make those options in the cc. and as someone who also writes dark fantasy stories with trans characters i do understand how difficult it can be to incorporate these identities into a world that doesn't necessarily have the same language as we do; but overall the way they've approached this feels very... i've seen some people call it unpolished but i actually feel the opposite. it's almost clinical (therapy-speak in general has been a main criticism of this game) and it's way too polished, in my opinion, which is what makes it so jarring to see.

there has been a trans character established in game previously, there is already a precedent for these identities to exist in this world, and they have never used this language before. the way Iron Bull talked about Krem felt far more realistic and integrated into the world of Thedas comparatively. was it perfect? no, of course not, but i chafe at the idea that it needs to be perfect, anyways. this is another problem the game has; past characters have had their flaws completely ironed out (Isabela is now a paragon of friendship and returns cultural artifacts instead of looting them, Dorian has multiple codex entries wallowing about how he used to defend slavery, the Crows have suddenly become a big found family-- on and on and on) and while i have my criticisms of some of these flaws (Dorian's pro-slavery rant in inqusition still makes my eyes roll) i dislike the way they're handling these changes and just expecting us to ignore all of the lore and worldbuilding from previous games. and all of this "political correctness" only for the game to still be so racist.

which brings me back to Taash.... Taash is very strange character, lacking agency around both their gender and their culture. they are simply a mouthpiece for the writer. while yes, it should always be made undeniable that your character is trans or gay or xyz, Taash really does only exist to be nonbinary. and to be clear, a nonbinary character like them could be very interesting, if their writing wasnt so... white. we know that the Qun has different ideas about gender than Rivain (and elsewhere) and this could have been a very interesting exploration of that; however, it is obvious that the Qun (and Taash's mother) are meant to be depicted negatively, and ultimately it ends with the player (not Taash) choosing between their two cultures. their gender is clearly far more important to the writer and the only facet of their identity they seemed willing to explore, which makes me question why even make this character qunari to begin with...

Neve and Rook are also the two that spur Taash into exploring their gender. this, on the surface, is not a problem for me. i'm playing as a trans Rook and while the dialogue was again very overpolished and clunky i found it kind of endearing. but the way Neve is used as this "foil" for Taash really rubbed me the wrong way. this assumption that Neve has no complicated feelings about her gender or being a woman (which i highly doubt considering the world she lives in & how misogynistic it is) and the implication from Taash that she only dresses the way she does for her mother/other people (which Neve doesn't even get to challenge) is extremely narrow-minded. Taash is the Only character that acknowledges gender; so far, even when flirting with other characters, it's only been Taash that i've been allowed to specify with that my rook is trans, despite Taash already knowing that from our previous conversation (i hope that this changes once i lock in with a specific character so feel free to correct me if it does).

but no one else really seems to have an opinion except that Neve drags Taash around to meet Maevaris, and we get the very goofy note that's just a list of modern gender identities and their definitions. i do partly sympathize with the writers here; again i've had to find a way to incorporate lgbt identities in my own writing and it can be difficult depending on your audience. i understand wanting to be very clear and concise. but this is... just goofy. and this desperation to be so correct around gender while simultaneously writing such an offensively racist narrative is really frustrating.

there's also an inconsistency that comes from this with Taash's character-- they are portrayed as this rough but awkward character that is bossed around by their mother, they are bashful with flirting early on and are almost child-like in comparison to the other characters. and then suddenly you get a scene with them where they very directly ask if you want to have sex and suddenly pin you against the wall. this scene was so jarring to me i referred to it as a jumpscare because WHERE has this character been this entire time? i want to see more of this, more of this character who takes what they want and knows exactly who they are (which they even say multiple times when you first meet them... but then need Neve and Rook to hold their hand about it?)

i do really like Taash, i like the idea of them, of this very self-assured and almost cocky character who is also a little silly, this person who is so sure of who they are but has to deal with their mother undermining them while also navigating a culture they feel disconnected from, and i also like that the player can help them through it... but the execution is awful, shallow, and racist. the idea that someone can only choose One culture is so offensive and also a laughable conclusion when compared to their coming out as nonbinary. the writer clearly understands that people don't exist within these little boxes when it comes to gender, but can't wrap their head around it when it comes to someone's culture-- which is also a very important part of a person's identity and often contributes directly to their gender and how they feel about it. all of these different characters have different experiences, come from different places, Davrin and Bellara are Dalish and even have differing opinions on what that means for themselves, but the game doesn't touch on any of it. all we get is a lecture from the writer that is completely removed from the world it's presented in.

i wish i could understand what it was this character was meant to convey. i stand by saying that it doesn't need to be perfect; i know there are people that had problems with Krem in inquisition, but at least Krem was his own person. Taash doesn't even get that here... i harp a lot about character agency when i give writing advice on my other blog but it really is so so so important for marginalized characters-- both gay, trans, and especially characters of color-- to have their own agency around their identities that is completely separate from the player & player choice, that allows them to exist as their own person within the world you've created, and i think Taash's character and story is an unfortunate example of exactly what not to do.

[callmeethaniguess]

This is so unbelievably real. I understand where people are coming from (in some areas) but there is such a negative idea of masculinity within the queer community that it’s starting to feel childish, like vaspider said. The shit said to trans men and masculine is so fucked up too. The idea that someone being a man is the part of them that is bad is a poisonous thing. It’s incredibly dangerous and is not only working to rip the community apart, but is adhering to fucked up gender norms, in a way. Being a man in inherently not a bad thing, but there are, of course, a lot of bad bad men out there. But even then that doesn’t give people the right to just be shitty to any person they come across that might be a man and say shit like what was shown in the screenshot above. Like shit like this is what pushes men into incel spaces, and saying that all men are evil just allows for more shitty men to do shitty things under the guise of what is basically the adult version of “boys will boys”

alienating men and masculine aligned people is just fucking weird. Especially in queer spaces. Masculinity for some reason is now considered the antithesis of queer, when that is not the case? Queerness doesn’t equal femininity, queerness is just something outside of the strict societal norms that a lot of us are starting to, even if we don’t realize it, adhere to. just be nice to everyone and don’t alienate based solely on gender and presentation, man. Doing shit like this is only going to tear us apart further, which is exactly what the people against this community want.

sorry since realizing my gender i have zero tolerance for the whole “man hating” angle of being queer i hate i hate it i hate you. stop. you are hurting people.

[queer-reader-07]

i think one of my spiciest takes is that i think cis people should be cis on purpose and not because it’s the “default”

ok hear me out before you go into the notes, i have reasons.

the main idea is that i think EVERYONE should explore and interrogate their gender identity and what their gender truly means to them. because 1) i don’t think any harm will ever come from wanting to understand yourself and your existence on a deeper level and 2) if everyone, including cis people, explored their gender it would be more generally accepted. thus, trans people or people questioning their transness wouldn’t be as othered when they start questioning and exploring their gender.

because here’s the deal. every trans person i know can tell you what their gender means. they can tell you what it means to be a man or a woman or neither or both or some other nebulous concept. they can describe it to you and explain it to you. they can tell you what their manhood or womanhood or neitherhood means to them, what it represents, how they knew that’s who they were.

every trans person i know (including myself) can articulate what their gender is in more words than “well i’m *insert gender* because i’m *insert gender*” (yes i know i’m always saying i can’t be bothered with gender but i do actually have a lot of feelings and words on my own)

i’ve talked to a lot of cis people about gender and they just simply can’t explain to me what womanhood or manhood is to them. so often it’s “well i’m a man cuz i’m a man. i look like a man i act like a man etc etc.” but what does a man look like? what does a man act like? and it’s usually people who consider themselves trans allies saying these things!

people should explore their gender. they should understand it more deeply. i don’t say “explore your gender” as a way to try and force anyone into a realization of transness, i say it because i want people to understand their gender. whether that be cis or trans or whatever.

to understand yourself more deeply is to understand your place in the world more accurately. learning more about who you are, and why you are, and how you are never hurts in the long run.

so yeah. be cis on purpose, be cis because you know deeply that you are cis, because you understand what that means to you.

and be trans on purpose. use the labels you like deliberately. dress in the way that brings you euphoria and mitigates dysphoria because you deserve that.

simply be on purpose. walk through life with deliberate steps, with solidified intent. because without doing so, how can we find our purpose on this earth and in this life?

[doberbutts]

The problem with the concept that there are trans men who don’t have male privilege is that it seems to imply that there are trans women who DO have it, which is a concept that is widely agreed to be unequivocally transmisogynistic. Any rebuttal for this?

My rebuttal is; I know trans women who have lived in my house and sat on my couch and watched movies and played videogames with me who have told me to my face that they did receive male privilege on a similar incredibly conditional, individual, and situational basis similar to how I am describing for trans men, how it relied on the closet and total stealth, and very aware they had to be of the line they were toeing, and how much worse they are treated now that they are out and transitioning, and how afraid they are to say it because of rabid people online who are looking for any excuse whatsoever to hurt them when they deal with that enough in their everyday lives.

I am forever reminded of this older interview (mid-90s early 2000s I think) of transgender Japanese citizens and this one person who was probably what we would call a trans woman. And, like my butch friend, was trapped in a situation in which there was absolutely zero room to breathe. They were amab, married to a woman with multiple children, working as a businessman to support the family. They said how they always felt like a woman on the inside, and how they knew that could never be a reality for them, so they didn't see much point in pursuing anything because it would break their family apart. The only thing they could do was make various cute needlework girly things during their daily commute to and from work. They had some cover story for their wife that they were buying them from a shop for their daughters or something.

Do you think that this person, who is perceived by everyone around them to be a cis man for several decades, does not benefit from male privilege in any way despite probably not actually being a man? Do you understand what I'm talking about when I say that this is a topic that needs to be discussed with far more delicacy and nuance than "man privilege woman not privilege"?

Do you think that all of the accounts of trans women out there saying "when I came out and started identifying as and passing for a woman, people suddenly started treating me much worse" and "I frequently have to boymode because otherwise my life is too dangerous" aren't discussions of exactly what I'm talking about?

Privilege is a tricky, complicated thing. It's also something bigoted society bestows upon you, and not a moral critique of your own existence. TERFs and MRAs both have poisoned the well, but that's not a reason to completely disregard the much-needed grace that has to be had during these conversations.

Personally I think any trans person's experience with "male privilege" is shakey at best and entirely contingent on a wide number of factors that you can't just point at their gender and say yes or no. I think it's way more complicated than that. And I don't think anyone is lesser for having or not having it, either. Gender is a morally neutral thing. Gender presentation is a morally neutral thing. It is okay to exist. It's okay to have a complicated existence.