#yes this is literally lady k and the sick man

[lxnarphase]

Toji and the one curse he is able to see being a pretty woman who always looks at him with wide eyes and makes cute little noises to get his attention in the place he’s currently staying thanks to shiu.

except, instead of instantly trying to fuck her, he notices she always comes when he watches movies and will just throw popcorn up at her where she peeks from the ceiling until she slowly comes closer and closer. She goes from the ceiling, to the closet, to the side of the couch, to on the couch next to him, mouth open as he tosses popcorn at her

[whyse7vn]

PALENTINES -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SINGLE LADIES 😁🔥

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: gave my gf an hour long whimpering audio for valentines day

namjoon: you make me sick

jimin: this definitely counts as harassment

jk: yoongi got me a plastic fork

yoongi: yw

y/n: the audio was 5 minutes long????

tae: ok but i sent it to you 20 times

do the math????

jin: you sat there and whimpered into ur phone for 5 minutes that’s crazy

don’t you feel any shame??

tae: why would i feel shame?

it’s called being in love jin

you should try it sometime

jimin: it’s called harassment

hobi: ew man

jk: free asmr :D

jin: it’s gonna be free tae from jail soon

tae: no it won’t

jimin: ur right when you get locked up no one’s gonna want you free

hobi: KEEP TAE IN JAIL 🗣️💯

jk: personally i would want tae free

jimin: personally ur not real so it doesn’t matter what you want

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: ew how the hell did you flip it

i hate that

ew

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: HOW DID YOU DO THAT

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: STOP GO AWAY I HATE IT

namjoon: yoongi got jungkook a present this year?

yoongi: not by choice

y/n: it was by choice

hobi: it was a plastic fork

yoongi: a plastic fork not given by choice

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: no

y/n: please

yoongi: no

y/n: pretty please :3

yoongi: it was by choice

y/n: see told you!

yoongi: don’t understand why we have to buy each other shit on this holiday anyways

i like ONE of you not all of you

tae: am i the one you like be honest

yoongi: bye

y/n: it’s our silly little tradition don’t be a loser yoongi

yoongi: whatever

jin: ok anyways who ordered me a fucking marching band???

jk: idk but did you like it??

y/n: gonna take a wild guess and say it was jungkook

namjoon: i thought you have his card how did he order that??

y/n: he has apple pay now i can’t stop him 😕

hobi: wait no fair

jin did NOT deserve a marching band all he got me was his butter photocard???

jimin: he got me that too….

jk: OMG ME TOO >_<

tae: i don’t feel special anymore

namjoon: really jin?

y/n: mine was signed!!

yoongi: cheap

jin: you literally got kook a plastic fork?

yoongi: he loves it

jungkook tell him you love it

jk: i love it

yoongi: see

jin: whatever don’t care

jimin: namjoon got me a fucking book

jin: lol that’s crazy cuz you can’t read

jk: i’m sorry to hear you can’t read jimin hope you can soon :/

namjoon: i put a lot of thought into the book i got you

jin: that’s cute but he can’t read so

jk: i wish i was a book

tae: if you’re a book does that make you a tree?

jk: guys

y/n: no jungkook

jk: oh ok

jimin: i CAN read btw

yoongi: don’t care

jin: sounds like fake news

jk: omg wow ur a fast learner jimin you can read now!!!

jimin: ur talking way too much today

you should stop

jk: is he talking to me????

hobi: y/n got me a holiday to australia

i’m not gonna go cuz like bugs

but that was really nice

y/n: you’re welcome!!!!

tae: k but i got sex

y/n deleted this message!

tae: 😕

silencing me like they did MLK

jimin: what

jk: milk

hobi: did you just compare urself to mlk?

jin: yeah never say that again

tae: why not?? it’s true

yoongi: you are nothing like mlk

jk: tae ur not milk

namjoon: taehyung do not compare yourself to martin luther king ever again please and thank you

jk: or milk

y/n: and in black history month too…

tae: you don’t understand me or him

y/n: yeah ok

back to gifts

joon got me some really pretty flowers

jimin: boringggggggg he does that every year

jk: namjoon got me wood

hobi: ?

namjoon: statue

it’s a wooden statue thing

not just wood

tae: joon giving other boys wood for valentines ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

u wanna know who i gave MY wood too

y/n deleted this message!

namjoon: tae shut up

jin: saw that

tae: i’m just like mlk i’m telling you man

y/n: stop

tae: sorry

jimin: hobi got me shoes

hobi: i did

jk: hobi got me cheese

hobi: expensive cheese

y/n: i took yoongi to those cute photo booth things

yoongi: they didn’t need to know that

y/n: yes they did

we are sharing what we got each other

read the room yoongi

jimin: yeah yoongi read the room

tae: how tf u read a room??!

a room not a book ☠️☠️

u guys dumb as hell

jin: you not knowing what reading a room means makes a lot of sense actually

jk: send photobooth pics ^0^

bet u looked so cute

not you yoongi

y/n

her

not yoongi

i’m talking to y/n NOT you yoongi btw

yoongi: shut up

and no

you’ll never see those photos

jk: ☹️

hobi: so what did yoongi get y/n??

yoongi: don’t worry

tae: personally i’m worried

jk: me 2 guys yoongi is really scary

what if he killed her

y/n: ?

jin: i want to blow jungkook up

jk: i’m no ballon 😭

jimin: probably fucked for valentines let’s be real

tae: well that’s obviously NOT true lmao 😜 ☠️

yoongi: why is that “obviously” not true

we could of

tae: you didn’t

yoongi: and you know how?

tae: cuz i just know

yoongi: yeah ok

we could of for all you know

on the actual day too

tae: you weren’t even with her on valentine’s day

yoongi: and you were?

y/n: he wasn’t

tae: ok

but i could of been

yoongi: but clearly you weren’t

tae: neither were you

namjoon: both of you stop

tae: idk why yoongi acts all high a mighty

especially when it comes to her

y/n: ok that’s crazy

how about you don’t talk about me like i’m not here!

yoongi: idk why taehyung acts like he has a chance lmao

jk: guys

tae: that’s actually crazy

you’d be fucking surprised yoongi!!!!

yoongi: what’s that supposed to mean?

tae: what do you think it means?

tell me yoongi

guess

i’ll tell you if you’re right or not

yoongi: shut the fuck up

tae: or what?

hobi: why this kinda sexualllll

jimin: like 😭😭😭😭

y/n: LMAO STOP

jin: arguing over pussy that belongs to neither of them is crazy i’m just saying

jk: pussy \ ^0^ /

namjoon: how about we all stop arguing and move back to talking about the gifts we got eachother !!

hobi: jungkook got me a ballon

jk: yeah

do you love it

hobi: sure

jk: ^_^

jimin: personally i think hobi’s lying to you kook

jk: WHAT

jimin: i think he hates his ballon actually

jk: hobi pls say he’s lying

hobi: he’s lying

you see it may seem that way because on the outside im a very chill and nonchalant man

y/n: that is not true actually!

hobi: but on inside i am actually very chalant

EXTREMELY chalant no joke

so basically inside im going fucking crazy over the ballon jungkook gave me but it just doesn’t seem like that cuz im a chill guy

jk: but inside ur chalant

hobi: exactly

jk: jimin why would you lie to me

jimin: ur easy to lie to

jk: no im not

jimin: namjoon died in a car crash 24 hours ago

jk: NO NAMJOON OHHMYGOD NAMJOON NO

namjoon: i am not dead

jk: oh

y/n: how did you fall for that

namjoon cant even drive

jk: oh yeah

lol namjoon cant drive guys

namjoon: ok we all know

hobi: so what did you guys actually do on valentine’s day

jk: minecraft but then it got too scary so i played valorant instead

jimin: idk what any of that means but ok

i personally watched movies with joon

namjoon: yeah

i dropped by kook’s and y/n’s place first tho to give my gifts and stuff

hobi: where was my movie invite?????

jimin: we did call you

you were like high as hell

hobi: oh

wow

how real of me

jin: i cooked steak

jimin: for urself?

typical

jin: kys

no

for me and y/n actually

y/n: …

jin: my fault

yoongi: what

tae: oh

jk: SHE SAID SHE WAS BUSY

TTAHSTNOT FAIIROGJKFNKLDVLKFNKLFHKLNNDKVHNFKVNKLGNGR UFHDFHDKJ GHDKLNGFKLNGFG FHJDJHHGR DHGGRHBDNBF JGHKJGHGR

hobi: ????????????????????

namjoon: cool

jimin: jin???? out of everyone JIN??????

why would you fuck jin

jk: WHATR OHMYGOF WHAT?????? SHUT UP

jimin: on valentine’s day too…..

even fucking ME would make more sense than jin right now

jin: tf is that supposed to mean?

jimin: i said what i said lmao

tae: she cant of fucked jin

cuz she’s fucking me

yoongi: LMAOOOO

u really think your special dont you

thats crazy

jk: WHYIS EVERYONEFUCKING MY GIRLFRIENDOHMGYOJFDJFDKJDSDB

hobi: i dont get it even if she was fucking tae why couldn’t she fucked jin too?

y/n: i am like right here you know

tae: because me and her are serious

yoongi: serious???

you are just a rebound

tae: yoongi i think you’re just upset she didn’t come to you first after the whole jaehyun thing

yoongi: i’m glad she didn’t actually because now i know for sure i’m not rebound

you are

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: why? you getting upset?

idk why you’re acting like the victim here when you’re using her for the same thing

hobi: woah??

jimin: cap taehyung bitchless

yoongi: it’s time you stop using y/n to get over jennie and grow some fucking balls

jin: hold on

jimin: WAITTTTTTTT

hobi: SHUT FUCKING DOWN FR????

jk: imgonnapassout

y/n: oh

namjoon: yoongi

tae: i am not using y/n to get over jennie and you know that

hobi: wait ur fr??? taejennie was fr??

LIKE ACTUALLY?? OHMYGIDTHISISREAL??

yoongi: i know that? thats crazy how could i know that??

you didn’t even tell us about jennie

for over 3 months you were with her and you didn’t tell us

and then those photos of you and her were leaked and you were all depressed for ”no reason”

and now all of a sudden your obsession with y/n?

yeah you’re not using her you’re right i’m just fucking stupid aren’t i?

jimin: holy shit man

tae: i am not using her

yoongi: so why is yeontan with jennie right now?

y/n: tae you told me he was with you parents?

tae: yeah

but

i didn’t tell you that because im using you or anything i just said that because i didn’t want to cause any problems

y/n: you lied to me

for no reason

if you told me the truth it would of been fine

tae: i know

y/n: so when i came over

were you planing on sleeping with me anyways?

were you mad at yourself for calling jennie and leaving yeontan with her?

did you use me to help forget about it?

tae: did you use me to help get over jaehyun?

y/n: no

i can tell you that in full confidence no

now answer my question

tae: you know i would never do that to you

y/n: its a yes or no question taehyung

tae: i would never do that to you

yoongi: yes or no you asshole

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: answer her question

tae: leave me the fuck alone

tae left “SINGLE LADIES😁🔥”

jk: wow

y/n: didn’t sleep with jin btw

jk: ohthankgod

y/n: did sleep with tae once

we are NOT serious

jk: double ohthankgod

wait

y/n: and now i am going to sleep

jungkook come cuddle

gn all

jk: ON MY WAY OHMYGOD IM ON MY WAY

gn

jimin: good night …

hobi: nite!!

yoongi: gn

jin: goodnight

namjoon: gn

DOWNBAD😭🫵🏻 #2 (minus tae)

6 participants - 5 online

———————————

namjoon: yoongi that wasn’t fair

yoongi: i know

but she deserved to know

and he wasn’t gonna tell her any time soon

hobi: YOU AND NAMJOON KNEW THIS TAEJENNIE WAS REAL THIS WHOLE TIME????

yoongi: i just found out

namjoon knew longer

namjoon: not that long

jimin: ok but how do you know tae is using her fr?

yoongi: it’s not hard to connect the dots

jin: still you could be wrong

yoongi: well he didn’t deny it did he?

jimin: to me it looked like he didn’t know if he was using her or not

yoongi: well he needs to figure that out soon it’s not fair to her

or him ig

but mainly her.

—

hate this don’t care about anything bring back yellow….

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

[ms-unbekannt]

I don’t know enough about Luigi to interpret his actions and character but he strikes me as in independent thinker, someone who wouldn’t say yes just because everyone else said yes but because he actually believes is the right answer.

Having that as a base thought and going back to the comparison with Raskolnikov, I can imagine a brilliant mind would wander to another side of thinking different than a “regular” person when put under major stress.

Rodion was consumed in poverty, isolated from everyone he knew, he had withdrawn from all social and academic life, discarding his studies as a lawyer, his family was living far away in their home town while Rodion was rotting himself (almost literally) in thought in a small dingy room in St Petersburg. He believed some people were worthier than others, he put special attention in a pawnbroker, an old lady cold and unsympathetic about the people who went to see her, among others Raskolnikov. He would go there often to get some money to pay for his rent, she would barely give him enough to satisfy the landlady only for him to lock himself in his room again. He barely ate and had stopped taking care of himself a while ago, however he was still described as an attractive, slim, tall, brown haired young man.

He would cross the street as to avoid his best friend and pretend he didn’t see him. Consumed by his superiority complex and depression he started to plan the m*rder of the pawnbroker who he thought was a leech, merely a parasite feeding of people’s misfortunes and desperation. In his mind she wasn’t worthy of living because she had no use for society, he convinced himself he had the right to do it, his moral being on higher grounds than her therefore he was not going to be condemn for it (at least spiritually) he was doing the society a favor by planning and executing his plan.

(The aftermath of the k*lling is a long journey of introspection, sickness of the soul that affects his physical health and many religious ideas of God)

What I think could be similar to Luigi is the way they would think outside the box, I believe only a deeply hurt, disturbed but brilliant mind would think on planning something like that. I’m relunctant on writing about Luigi’s side because I don’t know him and would only be my impressions of him but I’ll try (this is all mere ideas of him and not the truth because no one knows that)

I believe, as many other people do that the surgery and the life post that could have been the stressor for him to allegedly do what he did. Because he seems as a thoughtful, intelligent and accomplished person it shouldn’t have been difficult for him to fall into the idea of *taking action* do something, maybe even just for his convictions not for any other ulterior motive of common wellbeing. I wanted to make sense of his actions because he seems extremely unlikely to commit anything like that, if ever criminal it would be something else but not that. Throwing your life away despite having everything to succeed could mean that his world was shaken so bad that he found no other consolation.

I had thought that isolating from family and friends while planning could mean he didn’t see a life, any life after the plan succeeded but after seeing him in court I had the feeling he’s still very proud and would show no shameful behaviour to the world, maybe if he did it he believes as Rodion did that it was deserved, that the person had no use in society other than disgracing people’s lives. His head held high and smug face could be a charade to preserve a little of pride in such a humilliating experience for someone like him, with his social background (Rodion tried for a long period to assure himself what he did was right)

But I can’t stop thinking that he could have wanted to do one last meaningful thing in his life because he thought his life was over after the surgery, or at least over in the way he had planned it. I do believe one thing to be true, his mental state had to be extremely poor for him to act on it, like Rodion when he did it, he fell into a serious fever that kept him in bed for days, conflicted into his convictions and actions.

As a conclusion, two young men with bright futures fall into despair and commit *allegedly a crime (a meaningful crime but a crime nontheless).

(I am super morally grey so my opinions about the person who died are not of sympathy and I truly understand *if he did it* his reasoning. I’m sorry)

[screampied]

i swear this is the last ask. TOJI SERIES YIPPEE!1!!1!1!1! HUZZAH1!1!1! THE PROPHECYYY, THE ONE PIECE IS REALLLLL !1!1!1!1! JOY WE MUST HAVE A CELEBRATION 1!1!!1!

thank you for linking those headers n the title bc im defo gonna read em rn c(ˊᗜˋ*c) best believe im going to INDULGE in this series, i read the first and my soul is currently still trying to find itself inside me (tojis already filled me so it cabt come back :3)

i wabted to point this out there (not so subtle point) old men like to whistle…

…leaves (ILL STOP FOR THE DAY — probably hour — AND LEAVE YA BEEE), ALSO HIHI AND CIAO CIAO VEVE !!! <3

— pearl anon (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

DOMT WORRRRYY u guys could never ever bother me i love replying to anons 💛 !

and YUHH. i think ill start working on the next chapter this week since im still on break, ill be pretty active (so crazy) 👩‍⚖️

ofc !!! totally recommend lady k & the sick man if u haven’t read it. dekomoto (the male mc) literally hentai version of toji. it’s so good 😞 idk if i want lady k or dekomoto bc they’re so hotttttt. omg thank u i’m glad u enjoyed it mwah

LMAO yes they do, i agree </3

[iamthecomet]

Hi Comet! Here's another headcanon question. The whole band share one tourbus because I say so.

Who is the main person responsible for the roadtrip playlists? Which ghoul is banned from adding songs to the queue and why is it Rain for adding "What's New Pussycat?" 25 times in a row? Is there a song that everyone sings along to? Any songs added ironically to a playlist that the band members end up liking un-ironically by the end of the tour?

-Ghoulette Anon

HI! Road trip music headcanons under the cut because I'm insane and I had thoughts.

Cirrus is the head playlist maker. She is almost too organized, and this leads to being very good at putting together very curated playlists. They tend to be a little predictable sometimes, but there are certain days when that's exactly what they all need. Her playlists are best for quiet off days when everyone is tired, or long night drives. Swiss is the other trusted playlist maker. He is less curated, a little more random. But is good at picking songs that everyone likes. His goal with all of his playlists is to keep the mood up. He wants to hype everyone up, keep everyone happy. His playlists are great for sing-a-longs on long travel days. Sunshine was banned from having her playlists played on the bus when it became clear that 60% of them were comedy bands, or weird mixes of songs together (think Neil Cicierega) and while sometimes that's a great vibe at the Abbey, it's a little grating on tour. Rain is absolutely banned from adding songs to the queue. He is not allowed to be in control of the music at all. He's too unhinged, and known for, yes, playing the same song on repeat. He also has no sense of what songs should come after what. He thinks it's perfectly acceptable to put Cattle Decapitation on directly after The Spice Girls. He doesn't understand what everyone's problem is. Mountain is only allowed to play music late at night. He has a penchant for classical and folk songs and singer-songwriter stuff. everyone else is fine with that, but not when they're trying to get hyped up for a show. There are only so many sea shanties they can all take before someone is throwing something at Mountain and physically wrestling control of the music away from him. Aether's the classic rock guy. Loves his 70s and 80s rock. Especially punk. He is allowed to have control of the music during long days, but only until he starts playing the obscure stuff. Everyone is on board when he's playing The Clash and Black Sabbath and Van Halen, but as soon as he starts breaking out some punk band from London that only ever played one show he's cut off. Cumulus plays a lot of shoegaze. indie. early emo (Cursive is one of her favorites). She likes her music a little dreamy a little moody. Also a great choice for when they're driving through the night. But like Aether, when things start to get too obscure and weird someone has to cut her off. Dew is, weirdly, the best at manning the queue. When they've gotten sick of the playlists and everyone else has exhausted their permissions Dew is really good at finding the vibe and working with it. He knows a lot of music. And, while, if you caught him listening to k-pop back at the Abbey he would deny it until his last breath, he doesn't have shame about playing his guilty pleasure music for the rest of the band as long as it helps keep the peace. If asked about it, he'll say he knows it for this specific reason. No no, he's not mouthing the words, you're insane. Copia is really into early rock. Buddy Holly. The Beach Boys. The Monkees, all of that kind of stuff. He is also, inexplicably VERY into disco. If they don't listen to Abba's entire discography at least once during the tour he gets sad. Guaranteed full party sing-a-long songs? - I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys - Take On Me - A Ha -Dancing Queen - Abba -Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen -Literally anything by Lady Gaga. I think there are A LOT of songs that get played while they're queuing music that get a lot of eye rolls at first or are played for the laugh, that they end up falling in love with by the end of the tour. Something about singing a song with people you love can make even the most cringe songs loveable. I also think that some of Sunshine's "weird joke" songs start to grow on them (turns out everyone loves Ninja Sex Party by the end of the tour).

[methinmycoffee]

~~SPOILERS (S26 E5)~~

Ahhh okay this one was pretty good guys. Like, I think it was the best one in a few seasons. I do have a couple points to make about why it wasn’t perfect, but first:

The Positives:

Solid character dynamics. I always appreciate a Cartman and Kenny pairing, especially when they’re just making each other laugh even if what they’re doing is a little shitty. They did take all Butters’ money with no intention of getting it back to him, but it all worked out in the end. Honestly Cartman and Kenny are great together, and they’ve had potential ever since Cartman’s “You’re my best friend” confession in Kenny Dies (S5 E13).

Kenny unhooded?! Yes please. It was a little jarring, honestly. It was so out of no where, but it was his birthday and he deserves it.

Liane Cartman. I honestly love how she’s developing to finally be sick of her sons shit. She puts her foot down at multiple points during this episode, which is something we likely wouldn’t have seen from early show Liane. Even though she does let Cartman turn her house in to a hotdog stand with a giant slide and mermaid grotto, she tells him he wouldn’t last 4 hours in to a job, yells at him for complaining about her not having a job, and doesn’t cave when he screams and cries because he wants to go back to the hotdog.

Kids being kids. With the exception of a few key moments, this episode felt much more children’s shenanigans (if on a much larger scale). Especially Cartman and Kenny naming their restaurant DikinBaus. They would do that.

Cartman being Cartman. He was perfectly in character, which is good because they’ve been having trouble nailing the ‘manipulative and whiny little bitch who’s also just a little guy’ character.

Overall, just pretty entertaining. I enjoyed the whole thing. There were only a few scenes that were a little slow, which is standard for any episode of any TV show.

Well, There’s some negatives

Mainly, holy shit the writing team are a bunch of boomers. Oh my lord. “This is what’s wrong with the younger generation” “Your generation doesn’t want to work” “This generation cares too much about their mental health”. Shut upppp oh my God. First off, they’re trying to complain about Gen-Z without realizing that their characters are now firmly a part of Gen Alpha. Second off, they maybe don’t realize that some of their audience is the youngest of any of the long-running shows from the 90s. I honestly didn’t mind when it happened the first few times even though some of the jokes were in poor taste, starting mostly in s25 like that episode pinches a cop’s ass and the cop is like “I’m a member of Gen Z you Can’t do that.” In a whiny voice (I thought we didn’t want to work, why was he a cop? 🤷‍♀️) It’s getting old, though. It seems like every two seasons they choose something to get really hyper-focused on and will not stop making “jokes” that are really just having a character complaining about it. Literally stfu

They’re sort of ruining Clyde. I love Clyde. I love that he is really dumb and cries a lot, but is sometimes an unexplainable ladies man. I don’t like that he’s become the new “Gen-Z” character but is also a Boomer who is on his phone all the time, hates his girlfriend, and he’s getting way overdone. They did this to Jimmy and To(l)k(i)en, where they flanderized them to the point of no return, and I fear for Clyde’s safety. (And once he is overdone and no longer funny, I worry they’ll move on to Craig)

One Random nitpick:

No way Butters made that much money. He worked minimum wage for like four weeks, he absolutely not have funded DikinBaus.

[ladykissingfish]

drunk Akatsuki hc? 🥺

Ask and ye shall receive! ((Sorry it took so long to get to/finish this. Also get the nagging feeling I did a post very similar to this before but 🤷🏽‍♀️ piss poor memory so))

Drinking with the Akatsuki

Kakuzu

Takes a lot to get him drunk; his alcohol tolerance is pretty damn high. And when he does reach that point, he becomes … very unlike himself. Friendly, smiling, and extremely loose with his precious money. Kakuzu being drunk is the best time to ask him for an advance on your pay, or a personal loan. Another bonus: drunk Kakuzu is storytime Kakuzu. When he’s sober, the others don’t really like listening to his stories because they’re all boring as hell, and are usually centered around some point that he’s trying to nag everyone on. But drunk Kakuzu, well, he’ll tell you about brawls, dangerous stunts he pulled when he was a kid, sometimes even old lovers. He can keep the rest of the Akatsuki enraptured for hours with his intoxicated tales. The morning after a night of drinking is a different tale, though. He’ll remember loaning money to people and hunt them down to make sure that know they have to pay him back, and he’ll deny like crazy any story tidbits that the others bring up to him. Will also go through several pots of pure black coffee in an effort to de-hangover himself more quickly.

Pein

The Pein bodies don’t drink, but Nagato will, very rarely. Beer is his drink of choice, and he’ll opt for foreign rather than domestic. He’s not really the type to get full-on drunk (no matter what he’s the Leader and he carries himself as such), rather he’ll just get slightly tipsy. If he gets tipsy enough he’ll rant a bit to whoever’s closest about pain, and the unfairness of life, and anything else that would put a downer on happy drinkers’ moods. He always hopes that the alcohol will help him to sleep (he’s a horrible insomniac) but most times it just gives him a slight headache while leaving him wide-wake and dry-mouthed.

Hidan

Nobody wants to be around this guy when he’s had too much to drink, because the normally violent Hidan becomes even more so after hitting the booze. He’ll be willing to take on any and everyone, from teenagers to old men. And being immortal doesn’t help matters any; he could literally get torn limb from limb and his mouth would still be taunting his opponents with “Is that the best ya got, bastard??” Drinking also brings out his creative side when it comes to his human sacrifices and Jashin rituals; he’ll think up new (and horrible) ways to torment and kill his victims. Is the type to finally, FINALLY just completely pass out after reaching his final tolerance point, and the others will (reluctantly) drag him to his room and put him in his bed. Not many are willing to do this, however, as most times before he passes out he’ll have stripped himself completely naked.

Tobi

An emotional drunk. Gets sad and cries over practically anything. And it doesn’t take much to get him tanked, either; his tolerance level is embarrassingly low and he’ll be ready to sob after just a couple of glasses of wine. Tobi tries to avoid drinking when he can because he knows there’s a good chance of him dropping his persona and letting the others see Obito Uchiha. In fact this HAS happened a few times, where he’a taken off his mask and everything; fortunately for him the others were so gone that the next day they either didn’t remember, or believed that had just imagined the whole thing. Likes to soothe himself by slurring sad love songs at the top of lungs, joined most frequently by Deidara and Hidan. Will also drunkenly stuff his face with meats, which is a complete opposite from his sweet-loving sober self. He can throw down a dozen burgers when boozed up, the results of which will likely be in puddles all over the floor the next day. Will go to his bed and turn around in circles a bunch of times, like a dog, before finally going to sleep. “Tobi” will be the quietest he’s ever been the next day, as he fights a massive headachy hangover.

Konan

For being such a thin, delicate girl, Konan can hold her liquor right up there with the likes of Kakuzu and Kisame. One might never even know that she’s drunk to begin with; she walks perfectly straight, doesn’t slur her words, has almost perfect reflexes and normal mannerisms. One thing always gives her away, however; drunk Konan is hungry Konan. Under normal circumstances the little lady sticks to a healthy diet and isn’t one for over-indulging in anything. One shot or beer too many, and suddenly the gloves are off. Konan will make pizza, hotdogs, gigantic sundaes, cakes and pies … and devour almost all of it. She’ll share with the others if asked … but most times she’s eaten so much that there’s not much left to share. When she’s finally had her fill, she’ll go to bed … and wake up feeling sick as a dog the next morning. After the nausea passes, she’ll force herself to go for a long run or walk, no matter how much her head may be aching, in order to work off her excessive calorie intake.

Zetsu

Zetsu doesn’t drink, because alcohol interferes with his plant genetics, acting as literal poison to his system. But he enjoys being around the others when they’re drunk, to see the different types of personalities that emerge. Likes to hang around Hidan in particular, as the man’s sacrifices pick up significantly when he’s drunk, meaning Zetsu has more of a smorgasbord of leftovers to pick from

Sasori

As a puppet, Sasori doesn’t drink. But when he was a human, it was a different story. He turned himself into a non-human at a very young age, much younger, of course, than would have been the legal drinking age. But his grandmother kept a variety of wines in their home, and when she was away, he liked to pour himself a glass. Always only a single glass; he was intelligent enough both to know that his grandmother would notice if any larger of a quantity was missing, and, already dabbling in making poisons at this point, he understood the concept of “tolerance” better than most. But the single glass was enough; it seemed to comfort him during those nights when he was missing his mother and father. The wine also served as a brain-opener for him, of sorts: it was over wine that he first got the idea of turning himself into a puppet.

Deidara

Being young and so slender, and not having much experience with alcohol before joining the Akatsuki, the blonde is a bit of a light-weight when it comes to the hooch. He doesn’t really care for beers or ales (he compares the taste to “cat-piss”) and instead goes for the fruity mixed drinks that don’t SEEM that strong … until you’ve had about three or four, and they put you on your ass. Deidara becomes very lovey-dovey when drunk, and not just in a romantic sense. Alcohol makes everyone in the world his friend, and he’s suddenly interested in what others have to say about life and art. He’s even nice to Itachi, going so far as to hug him and tell him that he smells good, something that he will vehemently deny the next day. He’ll go to Sasori and cling to him and gush about how he appreciates his friendship and his guidance, until Sasori gets tired of him and tells him to go to sleep. Deidara can get to his room on his own, but once the door closes, he’s more likely to pass out on the floor than in his own bed. Also, if he didn’t think to tie up his long hair beforehand, he’ll be in for a nasty, messy surprise when he inevitably wakes up to vomit at some point.

Itachi

Itachi isn’t one to ever let himself lose control of his senses, no matter the situation. Therefore, if he’s drinking with the others, he’ll stick to one or two beers or a single shot before cutting himself off for the evening. He plays much of a “mom” role in the group, making sure the others are okay, lending a shoulder to cry on for the emotional drunks, and, if they’re out somewhere, making sure everyone gets home safe and sound. On the rare, RARE occasions he drinks by himself, and lets go of his hesitation, he’s just as emotional a drinker as Tobi (which is quite possibly an Uchiha trait). He’ll cry into his pillow, he’ll sit and lament over the choices he’s made in life. Sometimes he’ll find and put on the saddest song or movie he can think of, just so he has something to get emotional over. Although this sounds bad, this is actually a helpful bit of therapy for him, as it allows him to release emotions that he normally keeps bottled up. He’ll end a night of solo drinking with a cup of tea, then go quietly to bed, sleeping like a rock until the sun comes up and things go back to normal.

Kisame

Right up there with Kakuzu as being a guy that can hold his liquor like a champ. In fact his ability to do so has won him many drinking challenges at bars, as well as a formidable reputation as “one bad ass son of a bitch”. It also helps him confidence-wise; normally the half-shark is very reserved and keeps to himself, as he feels that his appearance is off-putting and scary to “normal” people. But alcohol loosens him up and gets him talking, and being bold, and many people find this switch in personality to be highly attractive. Ladies especially take notice of his smile, his eyes … and his muscles. He even scores several phone numbers from interested parties … but by the time he’s sober again, he never follows through with calling anyone. Also helps Itachi in that he keeps an eye on the others when they drink, to make sure that they’re safe.

[bakubub]

In which Racer!Kuroo is your roommate and you finally learn more about him...

Warnings: Mentions of loss of loved one, disregard for own life, swearing, innuendos and implied nsfw (but sfw overall), fem!reader with she/her pronouns.

A/N: Idek what this is. Its literally a 4.6 k mixture of fluff, angst and comfort... I rewrote this like 4 times :,) being a perfectionist is so,,, tiring.

This takes part shortly after this, you can definitely read this without reading the 'part 1' if you will, since they don't depend on one another.

Art belongs to @aikk00 ,, and yes I am still in love with it :D

I stumble out of the lecture hall, my eyes so heavy I bump into about 3 other students and mumble my apologies until I fully wake up and snap out of my daze.

Walking down the stairs and making my way to the bus stop, I watch in horror as the bus I was supposed to be in drives off, going fast for once in its damn life as if mocking me.

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I manage to keep my composure and sit down at the bus stop, telling myself the next bus will be here in a bit.

It's fine. It's fine. I slept through the lecture, and I still have to catch up on 4 subjects and make dinner, but at least the house is clean and I'm caught up in that one subject I picked up for this exact reason.

It's fine. It's going to be just fi-

The rumble of a loud engine breaks my shitty but somewhat effective self-reassurance motto and I open my eyes to see a black and red sports car going 60 km/h in a 30 zone, effectively getting mine and everyone else's attention.

I watched in horror for the second time today as this time it stopped right in front of the bus stop. No, no, no, no.

No.

Please no.

He rolls down the passenger window with that ridiculous hair and a shit-eating grin, as he nods towards the seat, revving his engine.

I look away, pretending he's not looking directly at me and that I don't live with the guy, which I immediately regretted when he beeped the fucking horn.

What did I do to deserve this humiliation?

I hastily put my head down as he beeped it again, giving up and rushing towards his insufferable car, getting into the passenger seat and slumping in my seat to keep my head down low.

"What is wrong with you? What are you even doing here?" I hiss, my glaring up at him from my awkward, folded position.

He laughs, and when I hear the sound of a photo being taken in the split second I looked away to readjust my bag, I sit up straight, watching him continue speeding as he stuffs his phone into his pocket.

"Are. You. Trying. To. Kill. Me?!" I ask, my voice little less than a screech as I slap his arm with each word.

"Ow, ow, I just came to pick my roomie up! I sensed you needed a ride, and this is the thanks I get?" he asks, that smirk I have come to hate returning to grace his features.

I glare at him, but a small, sleep-deprived part of my brain is distracted by his appearance. A tight black tee adorning his built figure, his biceps are on display as he drives with one hand, the other resting on the gear shift. The air from his rolled down window is ruffling his hair this way and that, and I find myself wanting to run my hands through the raven strands, just as I had when I washed his hair that one time...

"Wait- how the fuck did you know I didn't have a ride?" I ask incredulously, my reaction time clearly delayed but here nonetheless.

I narrow my eyes as he hesitates before he answers, "I just knew, ok? It's not like it’s astrodynamics, not that I can't figure that out too."

"Kuroo, what the hell is astrodynamics? Are you like, spying on me or something?" I ask, pretending to look out the window so as to not get distracted by his appearance once more.

"What do you common folk call it? Rocket science?" He says, once again exceeding the speed limit.

"If I'm a commoner, does that make you a peasant? Also, stop going so fast, I feel sick and I do not feel like dying today."

He rolls his eyes in response as he slows down by a smidgen, the speed meter barely even moving. "Seriously, you may have no consideration for yourself, but I still have a lot of things to achieve with my damn life so slow the fuck down." My words finally reach the rational part in him and he slows down considerably, now going within the speed limit.

Taking a deep breath, I rest my elbow on my door and look out the window, my mind flooding with thoughts about Kuroo's reckless driving and how it can all go sour with one delayed reaction.

Before I know it, we're rolling up to our apartment building, driving into his private garage only the penthouse owners get to use.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, filling the silence in the car.

"It's ok. I just... I want you to be safe. I know its hard, but... just try," I say quietly, unable to look at him.

"That's what he said," he says hastily before rushing out of the car before I can hit him.

Getting out of the vehicle myself, I send a murderous look his way and run after his retreating form.

A small part of me is grateful that he's acting like his usual unbearable self again, but the rest of me is just mad at his relentless sex jokes.

He hits the elevator button before I can get there and I watch the doors close, his smirk practically shining through the crack of the closing doors. I jam my foot in the middle at the last possible second, and smile victoriously as I get into the metal box and slap his arm once again.

"Ooh, do it harder," he practically moans, and my eyes just about pop out of their sockets in embarrassment as my face flushes a deep red.

"Oh shut up," I mutter, turning around and waiting patiently for the doors to open on the top floor. I hear him snicker and then the sound of a photo being taken, turning around sharply. I yell in defiance and throw my bag on the floor as I jump onto him in an attempt to grab his phone out of his hand and delete the probably unflattering photo.

I straddle his back and reach for the phone he easily holds out of my reach. Leaning across his shoulder in a feeble attempt to reach it, my feet are hooked around his chest and my other hand is using his shoulder as a brace. He's laughing hard at this point, and I'm screaming at him to give me the damn phone. Neither of us notice the elevator doors opening nor the small woman standing at the threshold staring at us in shock and amusement.

"Kuroo Tetsuro! You let that poor girl down this instant, young man!"

We both froze at the authoritative voice, slowly turning to look at a small dark haired woman with a straight shoulder length cut and narrow gold eyes that were glaring at the man under me.

"MUM!" He exclaims, setting me down and running to hug and kiss the woman, his mum apparently. "What are you doing here?" I hear him ask as I straighten myself out, fixing my jumper and tucking my hair behind my ears, picking up my bag off the floor and quickly following them out of the elevator.

"What, a mother needs an excuse to come visit her boys? Where's Kenma?" She asks, looking in the elevator again as if to check if she missed him.

"Oh, he's at his own place. Apparently he has a booked in session with this famous gamer today. Did he say he'd be here?" Kuroo asks, letting go of the woman and leaning on the wall.

"No, I didn't tell anyone I was coming to visit. Never mind that, who's this pretty young lady here, hmm?" She asks, raising a perfectly shaped brow as she walks towards me, the click of her heels echoing in the lobby of the penthouse.

I smiled down at her, since she was considerably shorter than even me, and introduced myself. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuroo." I say, bowing.

"Oh no, no, none of that. You can call me mum too, hmm?" She says, gesturing me up from my bow and pulling me down for a tight hug.

"Oh, um, actually, me and Kuroo aren't-"

"We’ll talk more comfortably inside, no? Tetsuro, is your plan to let me stand here all day?” She asks, letting me go and turning around to look at Kuroo.

Kuroo leaps into action, taking his mum's bag and unlocking the door, helping her out of her heels and leading her into the spotless penthouse.

It was all I could do to nod in response, closing the door behind us and walking down into the kitchen to prepare a meal.

It’s crazy how much I don’t know about this guy. He’d never mentioned his mother before, and briefly mentioned that he has a sister, whether older or younger I have no idea. Kenma, however, I know well. The guy was here all the time when I first started living here, but recently I've seen him less and less. Which is a shame, considering we actually got along quite well, with sharing eye rolls and bonding over our mutual love of Minecraft.

I don't notice silent footsteps following me until Kuroo's Mother says "now, why's a beautiful girl like yourself slaving away in the kitchen? Does that boy make u do all the cooking and cleaning like some mid-century housewife?"

I poke my head out of the fridge, smiling at her fair assumptions, "no, no, it's not like that at all. I actually-"

"Uh, mum! You know I'm incompetent with this stuff. This place would be a mess if she wasn't here to run things! Plus, she loves to cook and finds cleaning therapeutic. Hey, her words not mine," Kuroo quickly jumps in, putting his hands up defensively when she looks at him with a raised brow.

Looks like he doesn't want his mother to know of our little arrangement.

"Right. He's just so hopeless, I can't trust him to do anything," I add on, sending her a smile as I prepare the fish he likes.

"You're making grilled mackerel for dinner?! Oh that's gonna hit the fu- the fun spot," he says, saving himself at the last second.

I hold back a snort as I take out a pan, "open the window, fish boy. It's about to stink here and I can't be bothered with Mrs. Suzuki coming all the way upstairs just to complain about the fish smell, and then complaining that she had to come up here in the first place. God, I hope she isn't sitting on the balcony today," I ramble, trying to see her balcony from outside the window, but fail because of the private location.

Damn these amazing architects.

I hear his mum chuckle at my rambling as she begins to take out ingredients for a salad. "Oh, you don't have to help, please sit and make yourself comfortable," I say, moving towards her to take the lettuce out of her hands.

"No, no, I'd like to pitch in. Now what kind of mother-in-law would I be to let you do everything yourself?" She asks, holding the lettuce away from me and walking over to the sink.

I stare at the back of her head, a flush creeping up my neck, "m-mother-in-law?!" I ask incredulously, glancing over at Kuroo who looked suspiciously... Smug. I look away quickly when he meets my eyes, and I hastily hyper-focus on the fish in front of me, placing it on the heated pan, causing sizzling and popping to fill the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry darling, I don't mean to be overbearing. Tetsuro introduced you as his girlfriend, so I thought things were getting serious since he actually allowed us to meet one another. You see, he’s never introduced me to a girl before, so you can imagine my excitement. I can stop if you're uncomfortable-"

I cut her off, feeling even more embarrassed as I realise the role I am to play in Kuroo's life when his mother is around. I mean, it makes sense, he can't exactly just admit he took a random girl into his house.

"I, um, no really it's fine, I understand" I say, my voice small as I flip the fish.

She lets out a delighted laugh and pulls me down into a hug once more. The smile on my face is genuine as my embarrassment melts away, the bright smile of this woman comforting me.

"So, how did you guys meet?" She asks, chopping up the ingredients for her salad on the bench while I'm at the stove, Kuroo leaning on his elbows on the bench.

"At uni," I answer at the same time as Kuroo states, "at a party."

We both look at each other with wide eyes, and I clear my throat to clarify, "at a uni party. A classmate of ours hosted one and we met each other there."

"I see, so the old boozed up one night stand turned into quite a domestic relationship hmm?" she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows at Kuroo.

"What? No, no, I would never! A one night stand? Booze? Please, what kind of man do you take me for?" Kuroo complains, looking offended.

I turn around towards the stove and roll my eyes. I've heard the rumours around campus, practically every girl in my lecture hall can testify to at least making out with the man. He really puts up a façade for his mum.

I hear the doorbell ring, and quickly take the fish off the stove to go answer it as Kuroo bickers with his mother about how innocent he really is.

"Hello? Who is it?" I ask, pressing the buzzer.

"Uh, hello? Is this Tetsu's place?" A deep voice answers. I look at the camera, seeing Kenma and a bunch of men about Kuroo's age looking confused. The one who answered is a guy with a blond mohawk and piercings adorning both ears.

"Yes, just give me a second," I reply. "Kuroo, I think Kenma and the rest of your friends are here? Should I let 'em up?" I shout out.

"Yeah let 'em in," he calls back. I press another button, letting them into the lobby.

I need to make more food.

Quickly taking out my frozen dumplings I stocked up for emergency dinners for days I couldn't be bothered to make anything better, I whip up a quick sauce, thinking I could split the fish and put it in the middle of the table so everyone can take their share.

"I do apologise darling, I let my Kenma know that I came to visit and he must have told the boys. I think they've all come to see me," Kuroo's mum confesses.

"You must be a very loved woman if they came all this way to see you. And it's no worries really, I'm always prepared for guests," I say, putting her at ease.

She beams at me as the door is banged loudly.

Kuroo mutters something about “rude assholes'' as he goes to open the door, a group of tall men making their way through the threshold.

"Hiya cap'ain," the mohawk guy says, patting Kuroo on the back. A tall, light brown haired man was next to greet him, then proceeded to exclaim "MUMMA KOZUME!!" and practically jumped onto the poor woman.

Wait, did he just say Kozume? Isn't Kenma's surname Kozume?

"Hey mum," Kenma greets, kneeling down to hug Kuroo's mum.

Who's mum is this lady?! I swear to god I'm going to go crazy.

"Hello hello everyone," A massive grey haired guy says, kissing Kuroo's mum on the cheek and hugging Kuroo.

The last guy to greet them is a tan guy with a buzz cut, and he does the same as his friend before.

"So Kuroo, when di'ja get yourself a girl, huh?" The grey haired guy asks, looking offended that he didn't know before now.

I raise my eyebrows as Kuroo just smiles guiltily. He introduces me to his friends and I wave hello, as they all begin to introduce themselves.

The grey haired guy says his name is Lev and that he's half Russian. A weird detail to include but interesting I guess.

The light brown haired man introduces himself as Yaku, and says that he was Kuroo's senpai back in high school.

"Yeah a demon senpai," Kuroo mutters in reply. My smile quickly turns into a grimace as Yaku jumps on him and they both start brawling on the floor, making a loud ruckus. A loud thumping can be heard from downstairs as Mrs. Suzuki starts to lose her mind and continues to bang the handle of her broom to her ceiling.

"Ugh, you morons upset Mrs. Suzuki! She's going to talk my ear off next time I see her..." I complain, grabbing a cushion and throwing it at the boys.

They flinch at my anger and quickly get up, muttering a quick apology. My glare softens as mohawk introduces himself as Yamamoto, and the tan guy says his name is Kai whilst vigorously shaking my hand.

"It's very nice meeting all of you. Dinner will be ready in a bit so please just make yourselves comfortable," I announce, making my way back into the kitchen.

The boys, all sporting grins, make their way to the living room and sit on the couches, man-spreading and slouching all over the place, one person taking up the usual spot for two.

I sigh, focusing on the dumplings in front of me.

I stiffen as I feel large hands on my waist, and a presence behind me. Visibly relaxing once I realise it's Kuroo, I turn around, his hands still resting on my hips, and his face nestled in the crook of my neck.

"Please just go along with it. We have to act like a couple if they're going to believe us," he mutters, his hot breath causing shivers to run up my spine.

I simply nod, instinctively placing my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair, something I've wanted to do since that day.

He groans into my neck, and I find myself holding my breath as I continue my hand movements.

"OI LOVEBIRDS! MUM SAYS THE DUMPLINGS ARE GONNA FUCKIN' STICK! Ow! Oh, sorry," I snatched my hands back from Kuroo, pushing his chest, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

What the fuck am I doing?!

I turn around back to the stove, mixing the dumplings in the boiling water as my thoughts race.

That felt too real, too much like a real relationship.

And way too addicting, apparently, since I already miss his close proximity.

The warmth on my waist disappears as I hear Kuroo running back into the living room.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON, THE DUMPLINGS ARE FINE!" I hear him scream, and then a loud thud as he presumably tackles whoever yelled at us to the ground.

I sigh as I hear Mrs. Suzuki's muffled thuds from downstairs in record time.

"You know I'm going to have to make Mrs. Suzuki some kind of apology cake because you boys can't sit down and act like adults," I complained, my arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on my face.

Lev and Yamamoto are on the floor playing some kind of Connect 4 game I've never seen before, while Kai looks to be having a deep conversation with Kuroo's mum, who is perched on the single arm chair like the queen she is.

Kenma is hogging the tv playing some kind of video game on Kuroo's ps5 (which I've hogged on more than one occasion), and Kuroo on the other hand has Yaku in a headlock.

He immediately lets go and apologises, and so does Yaku, who even bows in his regret.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at his mum, who just laughs, and I make my way back into the kitchen, setting food on the table and calling them in to eat.

After dinner, I find myself showered in compliments and not a bite of dinner leftover for tomorrow's lunch. Damn I'm good.

I served up cake I had already prepared from earlier along with fruits I washed and set on plates, and watched as that was eaten and finished before I even sat down. Kuroo's mum scolded the boys for poor manners, and they all apologised. Well, all except Kuroo, who just wiggled his pierced brows and winked at me.

I sit down on the floor next to the couch, since it was all occupied, and hear a dissatisfied sound coming from Kuroo's mum.

"Now, now, sweetheart. You don't have to be shy around me, just go on and take your usual seat next to Tetsuro," she says, nudging her head in Kuroo's direction, where the only vacant spot was literally his lap.

I look at her with wide eyes, even Kuroo seems taken aback by her suggestion, and all the boys are immaturely ‘oohing’ loudly as they laugh and make fun of us.

Kuroo makes a gesture for me to come next to him, so I hold back my heavy sigh, try my best to hide the flush on my face, and walk towards him, awkwardly perching on his knee.

He chuckles as he grabs my waist and pulls me flush towards his chest, my butt in the corner of the couch and my legs resting diagonally over his, so that my head is directly in the crook of his neck.

I hate to say it, but this is actually really damn comfortable.

Conversation has started up again, but it becomes secondary to the beat of his heart right under my ear, and my eyes start to get heavy as his scent and warmth lull me to a comfort that is beyond being awake and alert.

---

Kuroo's POV

"What a cute girl she is, Tetsu. I'm so glad you've found her. And now that you've got her, you better. Not. Let. Go." She says, slapping me on the arm with each word of her last sentence.

What is it with women and slapping me?

"Ok, ok, I know mum, I won't stuff this up. I promise," I respond, smiling at her.

"Ok, well, I'm staying over at Kenma's house. Ah, no objections. You've already got your hands full, and I don't want to be in the way of young love. Plus, I'd rather listen to Kenma's midnight streams than you two in the middle of the night," she says, not accepting my objections and giving me a knowing look. My face warms to what she's insinuating, and I mutter a quick, "it's not like that," as I duck my head into Y/n's shoulder.

By this time the boys have all left, Kenma's downstairs waiting in his car for his mum to come, but she insisted on staying back for a few minutes to talk to me.

Y/n fell asleep a while ago now, still nestled on my lap, her head on my shoulder and her figure keeping me warm.

"I know exactly how it is, my darling. I've seen how you two act, pretending to be in a relationship just so we don't ask any uncomfortable questions. I won't meddle in your life, I never did, Tetsuro. But I will give you advice I expect you to consider. Don't let her go. Neither of you were pretending about your feelings towards each other, let me tell you that much." She says, knowingly looking at me.

I look up in alarm, which quickly morphs into a nervous laugh. She's good, I'll give her that much.

But, can Y/n really mirror my feelings?

"Ok darling, better not leave Kenma waiting any longer. I'll visit again tomorrow, or you can come over to Kenma's, whichever you prefer as long as she comes along too. I want to get to know my future daughter-in-law better!!"

With that, the woman who took me in and treated me like her own left my home.

I look down at my roommate, taking in the way her lashes are long enough to brush against her face, the way her brows are just a tad bit asymmetrical, the stroke of her nose and the bend of her cupid's bow.

I can't help but bring my hand up to caress the side of her face, content to stay here forever.

Mum would've loved her.

This thought broke the dam that held back my tears since middle school, and as they fell down my face I couldn't help but think of my own mother, coming in and hugging her, making her famous pie that I can't remember the taste of anymore. A sob racks my figure and I all of a sudden find a pair of e/c eyes staring up at me, my tears having dampened some parts of her face.

Wordlessly, she straightens herself and wraps her arms around my neck, running her fingers through the back of my head, stroking down towards my nape and up again. I cry into her shoulder, tears that I've bottled up, emotions I've ignored because I've had my dad, my grandparents and the Kozume's. Later, I even had the team, and they all followed me to the racing gig, a place where I can express my emotions through the reckless driving that could claim my life any second. I should have been grateful. Instead, the pain of her absence never ceased.

I clutch the back of her sweatshirt as I cry and cry and cry, eventually tiring myself out and running out of tears.

With dry sobs still racking my body every few minutes, she finally leans back, cupping my face in her gentle hands.

"What's the matter, Kuroo?" She whispers, looking up at me with tears shining in her own eyes. "You can tell me anything, or you can say nothing at all. Either way, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," she says, touching her forehead to mine and closing her eyes. She stays here for a moment before moving to get up and drag me up too.

"Come on, let's get you into your pjs and into bed. It's getting late."

---

Your POV

Now in his usual shorts and singlet, I drag him to his massive bed, opening the neatly made bed and gently sit him down.

His hazel eyes follow me as I go to close the curtains, his lashes still wet from the countless tears he shed, his body still hiccupping with dry sobs.

Once I've put his blankets around him, I go to leave, muttering a goodnight as I leave.

"Y/n," I hear before I close the door. I peek my head in, "please stay."

Without a pause to think about his request, and already in my own pyjamas, I go next to him and crawl into his open arm as if I've been doing it every night, snuggling into his shoulder once more and wrapping my arm around his chest.

After a few moments of silence, he begins to speak in a raspy tone, "she's not my real mum. She's Kenma's mum, and I've... I've called her mum since I was around 7," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I moved in with my dad and grandparents next door to the Kozumes when I was 6. I was nervous and shy back then. You wouldn't even recognise me because of the 180 turn my personality's taken. Kenma was even more social than I was. He was my first friend, and when I got him into volleyball and we met Coach Nekomata. That man inspired me to be the man I am today, and was the main reason why I joined the volleyball team in high school, and made friends with the guys. He did what my mum should've, supported me and gave me the confidence to live my life," he says, his voice cracking with the last word. I hug him tighter, knowing not to say anything as of yet.

"I just wish... I wish she didn't go. I wish she could've met you, Y/n. She would've loved you even more than Kenma's mum does," he confesses with a chuckle, sniffling and turning towards me to look me in the eyes.

"She would've seen the way I was around you. The different man I become. You make me a better person, Y/n. I find myself wanting to be better for you. I could never thank you enough for that. Please, never leave. Just stay with me, and I'll always be here for you," he says, repeating the same words I said to him earlier.

I can't help the smile from taking over my features and I lean in to kiss his nose, his eyes, his cheeks and finally I press my lips against his, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

"I will, Kuroo Tetsuro. I'll always stay with you."

A/n: So, I don't actually know if his mum passed away or if she left them, so I kind of just,, did both ?

Taglist: @3daa & @itsgiorgiaz

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

[st4rbwrry]

you inspired me to read lady k and the sick man n i was literally so taken aback hes bonkers but hes sooooo hot, are there only three chapters? i tried lookin for more but culdnt find any :// (i want more)

he’s hottttt ! and yes sadly there’s only three i just found out myself :(

[alovesongshewrote]

hello darling! can i request some HCs for Heisenberg with an S/O who has a bunch of dogs? Like im talking 8 pit bulls or summ

thank you!❤️

you don't need to write this if u don't wanna btw!

Woof | Karl Heisenberg Hcs

of course you can!! thank u for requesting!!

Taglist: @prismarts @blixeon @mxcheese @valentimmy @chrysanthykios

HEADCANONS

ok

I'm gonna be 100% honest

I am

A cat person

So i have no clue how dogs work, but i will be damned if i don’t try

…

And i’ll be adding cats to this, because i just

I like cats

ANYWAY

SO

WE’LL START WITH THE DOGS

DOGS

Ok, so, you know that thing that some dog owners do, where they fake throwing a ball and then the dog goes after it because they didn’t notice?

Yeah

So

You do that

And then Heisenberg takes it up 20 levels

I’ve talked about this with @mxcheese

Heisenberg 100%

Throws something metal

Like, actually throws it

And then yeets it back to himself with his powers

Your poor dogs

If it makes you feel any better, he also does that with the lycans, it’s just a Heisenberg thing

AND SPEAKING OF HEISENBERG THINGS

HE IS ABSOLUTELY THAT GUY WHO FUCKIN, ACTS LIKE HE DOESN’T WANT A DOG BUT THEN BECOMES THE DOG’S BEST FRIEND

AND HE DOES THIS WITH ALL OF YOUR DOGS

Like

When you first moved into the factory, he was neutral about the dog thing at best

The lycans were enough for him already

And he was used to general solitude

And your dogs are big and they get into things

AND

They are incredibly protective of you

As in

The first time they saw heisenberg, they almost attacked him because it looked like he was about to hurt you

He wasn���t, so you called them off, but it still spooked Heise to see a pack of large dogs standing behind him, ready to pounce

But like

Within a month, he’d adapted to it

And your dogs to him

You once walked into Heise’s room because you hadn’t seen him all day, and he was passed out in his bed, covered with a blanket of sleeping dogs

You got a picture of that, and he still doesn’t know about it

It’s your homescreen on your phone.

Your small pack of canines will also just

Sit

Around heisenberg

While he’s working

And Heise is never sure if they’re watching him, or if they couldn’t find you, or whatever

But he couldn’t say he didn’t appreciate it

ALSO

IF YOU EVER CONVINCE THAT MAN TO TAKE A BREAK

The dogs will fuckin

Lie on top of him

And on you

You each get four

Now

Just because your dogs adapted to Heisenberg’s presence does not mean they stopped being little shits

They absolutely were

They stole his tools and hid them around the factory

They chewed his shoes

Slept on his bed

Got fur on his clothes

And worst of all

They stole your attention :(

Rip Heisenberg

Honestly tho, the first time you noticed that Heisenberg was kind of jealous of your dogs

You stood up

Smirked

And went

“I wouldn’t worry about that too much. Besides, I think you are their favourite.  I know you’re mine.”

And then you sicked your dogs on him, but like, in a cuddly way

You just laughed at him while he drowned in a pile of fur and dog tongues

Honestly though, the dogs do love heise, no matter how many times he fakes throwing the ball

And their protective nature extends to him, too

One time, you were kind of preoccupied with something, and you couldn’t focus on all of your dogs

And he had a “family” meeting to go to

So

He took like, two dogs to the meeting with him

And when he and Lady D started to fight, as they do

“BARK! BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!! B A R K!!!”

It was literally that one vine

Lady Dimitrescu: GET YOUR FUCKIN DOG, BITCH

Heisenberg: it don’t bite

Lady Dimitrescu: YES IT DO

Lady D ended up standing on one of the church pews while your dogs growled at her and Heisenberg

Lost it

He couldn’t stop laughing for the life of him

then Miranda yelled at him and the dogs, but he didn’t really care, he was laughing too hard

And he was still cackling when he came back to the factory

He tried to explain what happened

But like

He could not

It was legitimately the hardest you’d ever seen him laugh

You just looked at your dogs

and you didn’t know what the fuck they did

but you were glad they did it

AND YEAH

YOU’D BEST BELIEVE THIS MAN STARTS MAKING DOG TOYS

They’re like, weird and metal

But he makes sure they can’t hurt the dogs

And your lil pack loves ‘em

So

You do, too

OH, AND

CONSIDER THIS

You have

7 pitbulls

And 1 grumpy french bulldog

The french bulldog is Heisenberg’s favourite, but shhhh, it’s a secret

(it’s one of the two that growled at Alcina until she climbed onto a church pew)

(Heise has never been so proud)

ALSO CONSIDER

Most of your dogs are rescues

Some of them have scars

And Heise is just like

“Same.”

AND OMG

DRESSING!

THE!

DOGS!

AS!

HEISENBERG!

He acts like he doesn’t think it’s the cutest shit, but you know better

You hear him calling your dogs cuties

You know

...

Holy fuck, maybe i am a dog person

Anyway, cats

CATS

Ok, so

I have cats

I know cats

And cats can be little shits

To match up with the 8 dogs, i'm gonna say you have 12 cats

because even the biggest cat isn’t going to be much bigger than that bulldog

who i have, in my head, named Petunia 

And they are all

bratty little

Garbage eating machines

And you love them

So

Heisenberg’s factory

Is now full of cats

And the cats

Are honestly louder than the dogs

They will meow at all hours

All day

And all night

They would probably keep you from sleeping, but

Karl Heisenberg doesn’t fucking sleep

So he’ll feed them, or pet them, or whatever it is they want so that you can sleep

And yes, they will crawl onto him and purr while he’s working

It’s soft

The cats will also play with his hair

And

And his sunglasses

If you have both cats and dogs, the cats will steal the glasses and the dogs will hide them

S P E A K I N G O F C A T S A N D D O G S

Dogs

When you pick em up

They have to be put down carefully, right?

Well, when it comes to cats

Honestly? 

you can just fuckin bowl a cat

Consider tho

Having spent most of his life alone in his factory

Heisenberg doesn’t know this

So

When you go to put down one of the cats after holding him like a little baby for a little too long

And you just fuckin

DROP HIM

Heise just goes

“Y/N, WHAT THE FUCK”

It’s v funny

Eventually he learns that cats are tough as hell

And not just because you can drop them, but because

One of them went at miranda

Same scenario as before, he has the fur babies at a family meeting

Though this time the cat is fucking

Hiding in one of his pockets or some shit

(he’s a man, he has big pockets)

And like

He’s listening “intently”

When he notices a fluffy little thing about to pounce on miranda

He coughs and one of the lycans grabs her

The cat, not miranda

And he goes and picks her up later like

“SNOWBALL, WHAT THE FUCK”

And the cat just

“Meowwwwwwwwwww”

AND HE GOES

“Same.”

And i know i just said this

But once again

Heise has never been more proud

And then it’s 2 a.m, and Snowball and the gang are fucking

Zooming around the factory

Knocking shit over

Yelling

And he’s like

“Ah, yes, I remember now. I adopted a pack of fuckin gremlins.”

Man, at least the dogs slept through the night

Oh well

They sleep during the day

And they’re cute as hell doing it

Also, like

I know it’s the wrong Cats

But you made Heisenberg watch Cats (2019)

And he may be a spooky scary metal man with spooky scary mutant siblings

But that was the scariest fucking thing he’s ever witnessed

Anyway, yeah

cats

[kdramaxoxo]

I've been doing a bunch of schoolwork this week so I've just caught up on the last few days of your blog and I had no idea about the Junho kitten thing. I looked it up and I think my heart is still recovering like it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Also you have to tell us what the other overrated kdramas are you can't leave us (me) hanging!! As for YOM the dad terrifies me he literally makes me feel sick every time he comes on the screen and now the kidnapping??

Yes! I remember he found a baby kitten that was dehydrated and starving and took it in I mean, this soft kitty boy has my heart!

Oh man I want to say I can't believe you are asking me about which dramas I think were overrated but I CAN believe it cause: who puts stuff in the tags and then expects no one to read them? This lady right here lol.

Overrated K-Dramas in the last year or two (according to me)

(to be fair I dropped ALL of these so if they improved, I missed that)

I found The King Eternal Monarch to be TERRIBLE. I dropped it right away and none of my mutuals said it ever improved. As far as I can tell, people mostly watched it for Woo Do Hwan which I mean, VALID.

I dropped Start-Up about 4-5 episodes in for just bad writing. It started off interesting and then forgot it was supposed to be about Start Ups. I KNOW most people watched it for Joo Hyuk and Seon-Ho and the ship wars were major. This surprised me because the drama wasn't really good enough for that imo.

Melting Me Softly was just bad because of the writing and also the horrible characters. Another drama I wanted to love because of Ji Chang Wook and Won Jin Ah but it had so many annoying characters and did the ex-girlfriend so dirty. After they showed the kiss scene which turned out to be a fantasy and then she bawls her lonely "old lady" eyes out? NAH.

Memories Of Alhambra started off so strong. Like, I legit loved watching the ML try again and again to beat a level. I was like this show is awesome! But then it decided to make Park Shin Hye's character a useless girl who couldn't do anything? Also, when he puts together a sales contract to buy the property in an unfair manner I was like THIS DUDE SUCKS. I dropped it a few episodes in.

Ok and this is going to sound insane and if I say it I feel like I might alienate myself... Here goes:

Doom at Your Service is overrated. Listen, I'm not saying it's bad and I'm still watching it because it is growing on me. But I think it is very overhyped because of the cast (I do not blame people at all!) and I definitely feel like the story telling is lacking. I know these actors and they are AMAZING and I want to love it! But it feels stiff, the storytelling is a little off and the feels are unearned at this point.

*waits for people to @ me about DAYS (hopefully no one read this far ;-) *

[whyse7vn]

4TH GEN LEADERS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

taehateclub

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: y/n i’m coming for a sleepover tn

y/n: are you sad or something?

tae: no?

y/n: ok good

no thanks then ❤️

tae: um wtf

y/n: ???

tae: the disrespect i face on a daily is not right and should be studied

jimin: don’t care

yoongi: didn’t ask

jin: L

namjoon: 10 years…

of this

jk: time flies when ur having fun

hobi: i want to blow my brains out tbh

jk: oh

tae: jungkook do you want to see a magic trick?

jk: YES

jin: do pretzels make you fat?

jimin: have you been eating them?

jin: yeah

jimin: yeah they make you fat as fuck

jin: somebody push him off a cliff before i do

jk: show me the magic trick before i kill myself

y/n: this really is my safe space ❤️

namjoon: guys we should all go to therapy

tae: i won’t

i tried therapy and the lady laughed at me

A THERAPIST LAUGHED AT ME LIKE TO ME FACE IS THAT NOT SICK?

yoongi: real

y/n: icon tbh

jimin: my therapist tried to fuck me 😞

jin: why is he lying like omg get a life…

jimin: 30 years of age and still bothering young men like me LEAVE ME ALONE FREAK

yoongi: here they go

namjoon: one day we will all laugh and hold hands

y/n: i got 50 on jin

hobi: 50 on jimin

jin: namjoon pls don’t let him come in here and lie like that it’s actually heartbreaking watching the people closest to me be so fucking delusional and deranged think about the bystanders joon

think.

jimin: END UR LIFE

jin: you first 🤭

jimin: ignoring you

y/n: i win

hobi: aw man

namjoon: are you guys all coming to the party later?

jk: what happened to the magic trick??

yoongi: 👍🏻

hobi: yes yesss

y/n: YES

tae: yup

jin: yes

jimin: NO

jin: don’t care 🥱

jimin: i’m leaving this group and leaving this country

yoongi: k?

hobi: when something is a foot long whose foot are we measuring it off?

y/n: if it’s by yoongi’s then a foot long as hell

jk: tae can you show me now?

namjoon: kook pls let it go…

jimin: i’m jumping of a bridge

hobi: how many of yoongi’s feet tall is the bridge?

jin: one foot could honestly kill him

tae: feet?

namjoon: MOVING ON MOVING ON

jk: there is no magic trick is there

y/n: it’s okay you’ll get over it my love

jk: i don’t think i will

tae: that was a life lesson

learn from it and become stronger

jk: how about you die.

hobi: WOAH

namjoon: no fighting i’m literally begging you guys

jin: didn’t know you were submissive like that

jimin: fr it’s gross as hell

he’s gonna tell us he kisses men next

jk: are you a homophone?????

jimin: are you fr rn

yoongi: wow

namjoon: don’t say anything

y/n: at least his heart was in the right place!

tae: namjoon likes men?

namjoon: no

jimin: yeah

hobi: like a stickerrrrr

jk: congratulations

tae: let’s make a song with drake

y/n: ew

yoongi: no thanks

hobi: pushing p

jimin: pussy

jk: where

y/n: ew again

jk: bts 4th gen leaders!

namjoon: ?

hobi: we are not 4th gen

jk: what?

jimin: we are 3rd gen

jk: oh my god

we are old as hell

y/n: that is actually so gross

3rd gen IS SO GROSS WE ARE OLD AS HELL OH MY GOD IMMA THROW UP

jin: ur both being dramatic

jimin: he’s only saying that because he’s been old since birth

like how you 84 out the womb???

hobi: jimin ur going to hell

jimin: we were all thinking it

jin: everyone deny that rn

…

hello?

y/n: bts 4th gen leaders i agree with jk!!!

yoongi: this does not change the reality

tae: can i be 4th gen it boy

jimin: LMAO

tae: what’s funny?

jimin: nothing

jk: i would like to be best 4th gen rapper

hobi: i’ll be best 4th gen singer

y/n: fair

ig i’ll be the 4th gen it girl

jimin: i’ll be THEE 4th gen visual

y/n: yoongi for 4th gen it boy

yoongi: :3

tae: i wanted to be 4th gen it boy wtf

jk: joon the father of 4th gen

y/n: and jin the 4th gen ace

namjoon: u guys actually delusional

tae: i agree

namjoon: pls don’t agree with me ur making me uncomfortable

tae: sorry father

namjoon: don’t be mad u didn’t get a title

y/n: tea the girls are fighting

tae: i’m not mad

i don’t even care fr

namjoon: sure

tae: sUrE

namjoon: you seem mad

tae: if you died i wouldn’t care

hobi: 4th gen loser

tae: hoseok wtf

hobi: who said that?

y/n: 4th gen furry

tae: ummm?

jimin: 4th gen broke boy

tae: i asked for money ONCE

yoongi: 4th gen bitch

tae: LEAVE ME ALONE

jk: i’m glad we all have titles now

4th gen is not ready for us

y/n: FR!!!!

—

kinda short pls forgive me

[inevitably-johnlocked]

fics where sherlock gets in an accident?

Hi Nonny!!!

I don’t have a tonne that I recall, but here’s what I do!! Also check out my whump lists too! And as always, please add your own fics, Lovelies, especially fics where the accident is the plot point!

SHERLOCK IN AN ACCIDENT

See Also:

Doctor / Caretaker John

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 4

Sherlock is Sick/Hurt (Sherlock Whump)

Sherlock Whump Pt. 2

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || H/C & Friendship, Whump) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

The Doctor's Capable Hands by Totally-Out-Of-It (K+, 2,012 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Anxious Sherlock) – Sherlock is injured during a chase. John sits watchful at his bedside in the hospital and wonders. He wouldn't leave Sherlock alone like this. Especially not if Sherlock wanted him to stay.

Trapped and Upside Down on the M6 by BootsnBlossoms (E, 4,256 w., 1 Ch. || Whump, Car Accident, H/C) – Everything felt wrong. His hair was going the wrong way. His arms were bent in ways he wouldn’t choose to bend them. His neck hurt and he couldn’t really feel his toes. Something was dripping on his face – and rolling up. A car crash. He had been in a car crash.

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

In The End by whitchry9 (K+, 9,677 w., 17 Ch. || Memento Fusion || Amnesia, Growing Old, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Heavy Angst) – When a brain injury leaves Sherlock unable to make new memories, John wonders how Sherlock will cope, and what it will mean for The Work and their life. Because after all, how can you live if you can't feel time passing?

Catastrophe Medicine by LaSuen (T, 11,550 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Suspense, Adventure, Whump, Hard Core Bromance) – Chasing after a pyromaniac bomber Sherlock and John wind up in a deserted building which explodes and leaves them trapped under the rubble, both severely injured.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

The Haze by Ulura (T, 15,381 w., 12 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Whump, Turmoil, Mystery, Worried Sherlock, Mycroft Helps Sherlock, Flashbacks, Blood, Kidnapped John) – Sherlock wakes up, injured and confused on the floor of 221b, the last two days a complete blank. He must struggle not only to recover but to figure out what happened to him and most importantly, find his missing friend John Watson.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[gaarasgirlfriend]

helplessly in love - kaminari x reader

in which kaminari finally gathers up the courage to confess to you

god, that smile. it really brightened up his whole day. kaminari found himself sometimes barely listening to you whenever you were excitedly talking about something to just stare at the smile that was painted on your pretty face. that smile of yours always managed to provide him with some temporary amnesia for whatever tribulations he might have faced earlier.

“kaminari! there you are! i’ve been dying to tell you about the new switch game i finally got…” your voice called out to him but he was too far in a stupor to be pulled back into reality.

he looked into your e/c eyes that shone so brightly as you recounted your new game once more to the blonde-haired boy. whenever you gave a small laugh, the crinkles next to pools of e/c appeared, and kaminari felt his heart skip a beat. subconsciously reaching his hand up to his chest in a pathetic hole to calm the organ down, kaminari noticed you faltering in your words as you peered curiously at him.

“kaminari are you okay?” your soft voice asked him. you reached over to place a hand on his shoulder, your eyes slightly furrowed in concern.

“i-i’m fine! continue talking!” he insisted, noticing the way his heartbeat quickened when you placed your hand on his shoulder.

the concern still had not left your eyes, and honestly? it made kaminari happy. knowing that you cared for him. maybe, just maybe, he had a chance with you. but after taking a glance at your beautiful face that seemed to be what he saw in dreams, he decided that that wasn’t possible. a girl like you could never like a guy like him… right?

“class is about to start, you should tell present mic-sensei if you don’t feel well. i don’t want you to get sick kaminari, i care for you!” you said in a carefree manner, not realizing the effect those words had on the lovestruck boy’s heart. he was really whipped for you.

as he watched you take your seat he walked back to his seat which was only a few seats diagonal to yours— giving him a good view of you. in a daze, he sat back down and placed his chin on his palm, thinking.

thinking about what? thinking about you, of course! what else was there to think about? kaminari has been playing with the idea of finally asking you out on a date for a few weeks now. he even talked about it to kirishima, bakugou, and sero!

‘do it! you’ll never know if she returns your feelings if you never try! despite how much you err… ogle at ladies, you’re a great guy kaminari! i’m sure she’ll at least give you a chance! be manly and ask her out’ his redheaded pal had told him.

‘tch, like i care. i have no clue why y/n would say yes to a dumbass like you!’ bakugou said with an eye roll.

‘you guys have been close friends for awhile right? there’s a chance that she likes you back! based from all the movies i’ve seen at least….’ sero sheepishly said while rubbing the back of his neck.

‘could they be right? could she actually like me back?’ his mind raced as he subconsciously glanced over to you. you were soaking up all the words present mic spoke as he continued his lesson. your pencil moved furiously as you focused intently on writing your notes. kaminari gave a small pout, he couldn’t even focus in class because of you! truth be told, he probably wouldn’t retain the information anyways but still! he would like the option of being able to focus on aizawa’s words rather than paying attention to the h/c strand of hair that fell against your cheek as you tilted your head while writing.

‘not fair…’ he thought as he sighed while picking up his pencil, finally writing down notes. he had no idea what to do about you, but he would deal with you another time. he had more pressing matters to attend to. finally tuning into present mic’s babbles, his eyebrows furrowed. what the hell was an adverb?

kaminari soon gave up on the lecture, opting instead to just doodle on his paper, giving you the occasional glance. god, he really was living the life of a teenage boy in a coming-of-age movie. how lame. after adding finishing touches to the house he drew, kaminari felt someone poke his back. kaminari knew better than to turn and talk to kirishima, so he dropped his hand to the bottom of his seat, palm facing up expectantly. once he felt the folded piece of paper in his hand, he slowly unfurled it under his desk. present mic was facing the chalkboard currently, so he was safe.

‘hey bro, are you finally gonna ask y/n out?’

kaminari gave a small sigh before writing down his response and handling the paper back to the boy behind him.

‘i think i might, it’s just so nerve-wracking.’

after hearing kirishima scribble on the paper once more, he felt the familiar tap on his back before he collected the paper.

‘mina told me some second year student was thinking of asking her out on a date! you better hurry bro!’

kaminari’s heart stopped while reading that. you? with another man? that was just too much for kaminari to handle. he had to confess to you before it was too late! before he lost you to some cool, probably super handsome, super funny upperclassman.

as class went on, kaminari worked on his confession, writing some stuff down for kirishima to look over. it honestly wasn’t going too well. kaminari has so much he wanted to tell you, yet he couldn’t. the poor boy’s nerves were skyrocketing so much that he could barely form a proper sentence. he groaned frustratedly as he grabbed his hair. he felt kirishima pat his back in reassurance. class was about to end, and it was almost time for the students to go home. kaminari walked you home almost everyday, not wanting anything bad happening to you.

as the last teacher finally dismissed class, the students all got up and started to pack up their stuff. kaminari was scrambling to finish his confession letter.

‘what about her hair you idiot? how it smells like coconuts? or it seems so soft? no, no, no! don’t talk about her hair, that makes you sound weird!’ he thought.

he heard you walk up to his desk as he rushed to finish his paper. if only he worked this hard on his notes in class, maybe he would actually learn.

“you ready to leave kaminari?” you asked with that pretty smile of yours.

“y-yeah, just give me a minute.” kaminari said before getting his book bag and packing up.

“you still look a bit off, do you want to go see recovery girl before we leave?”

“haha, no i’m fine!” he chuckled unconvincingly, finally slipping his book bag onto his back.

before you made it out the door, kaminari made it there before you, quickly scanning the hallway in search of this mysterious second year that also harbored feelings for you. his eyes fell on a figure that was a bit taller than him, a brunette boy who was also clad in the ua uniform. he radiated a cool vibe and was also not to mention model worthy.

“nope, not today.” kaminari muttered before taking your hand into his and pulling you out of the door, power walking your way out of the school.

“k-kaminari- slow down! why are we running away? are you okay? what’s wrong?” you asked when you finally made it outside, standing beside kaminari as the two of you caught your breaths.

kaminari didn’t answer, he just focused on his breathing as he worked up the courage to confess to you. kirishima and sero’s words echoed in the back of his mind, urging the boy to tell the girl beside him of his feelings.

“kaminari are-”

“i like you. i’ve liked you ever since we talked during lunch on our first day of school! i liked the way you almost choked on your food because you were laughing at one of my dumb jokes! i like the way that your eyes crinkle whenever you smile! i like the way you do that stupidly cute dance of yours whenever you get food! oh god- don’t even get me started on your smile. that beautiful smile of yours… i just- i’ve liked you for a long time! and i’m tired of keeping it in! i won't wait for someone else to sweep you off your feet and be upset because i did nothing about it! y/n l/n, i like you! accept my confession!”

after he finished his speech it went quiet. kaminari could literally hear his heart beat with every passing second. oh god, bakugou was right, there was no way a girl like you would like him. he’d better start looking at other schools to move to. shiketsu was pretty good, right?

“kaminari… you like me?” your voice called out to him, breaking him away from his thought. he flinched at the mention of him liking you before nodding.

“yeah…” he said, twiddling with his fingers a bit as he waited for you to reply once again.

he looked at your face to see your mouth slightly opened in shock, your glittery orbs wide in shock as well. if he weren’t so terrified of rejection right now he would’ve laughed at that adorable look on your face.

“i-i can't believe it! you like me back!”

‘huh? like you back?’

“h-huh? does that mean...?” he trailed off, hopeful.

“yes! kaminari denki, i like you too!” you said, your face breaking out in the biggest grin he’s ever seen.

kaminari froze for a bit, taking a few second to register the words that you had just said. you, the girl of his dreams, liked him back? was this some kind of prank? no, you were too nice to do anything like that to him. kaminari could almost cry, his heart was overflowing with joy and pure happiness.

“y-you mean it? you’re not messing with me?” kaminari said while smiling, holding her shoulders.

the girl laughed while shaking her head, “of course not! i’ve liked you for the longest time! ever since you offered to charge my phone because it was dead! i thought you were really cute and funny!”

oh gosh, you thought he was cute? that’s it. kaminari could die happy now.

“i’m so happy right now y/n, you have no idea. i’ve waited for this moment for so long… this feels like a dream.” kaminari said while looking into your eyes.

you smiled before linking your hands together, “trust me, i know exactly how you feel.”

kirishima grinned as he saw kaminari and you walk out of the schoolyard while holding hands.

“looks like your plan worked bakugou! that note really did push him to confess to y/n! who knew that you were rooting for him…”

“tch stupid, i only got tired of him always talking about how soft her hair looks or dumb shit like that, not because i care for him.” bakugou said while rolling his eyes.

but maybe, just maybe, he did care for his friend who was so helplessly in love with you.

[troofless]

my amazing gnshn tier list.

benny would have been neutral if it wasn't for his super fun gameplay aka fast er and spammable E 

edgy kirito would have been in dislike if it wasn't for his event and that meme about him eating grilled fish just for pervases 

kaching is down there bc i hate that i have her c1

fructose would be in dislike but i don't dislike her as much as those 3 

dluc is down there bc his story doesn't feature kaya but kaya has everything to do w him, also his entire ingame personality is Grumpy

jean and dry rain r literally the same character and don't deserve having one (1) trait of being overworked office ladies but here we are (also dry rain's quest was awful and i hated that she blackmailed an innocent fatui dude and everyone seemed to be ok with it)

CLOCKLEAVE. how do i even begin. his broke old man personality is played off for jokes which i actually find funny, but when it comes to the main story. oh boy. he basically doesn't give two shits abt anything but retiring

he 1. created havoc just to watch liyue burn 2. cost ning her JADE PALACE and a ton of mora 3. did nothing to help in the cleanup after his 'trial for liyue' was supposedly over, no remorse for the destruction caused, debris in the sea? fiiine. WE had to clean it up for you EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE THE SOURCE OF IT. 4. 'we were just spending fatui money' This. THIS SENTENCE. said with ZERO emotion or remorse at all. gongzi. who pays for his stuff, invites him to restaurants, thinks of him as a friend... he... literally thinks nothing of gongzi? 5. the whole 'buff clockleave' uproar that i saw on my tl. idk abt yall but sending death threats to mihoho over a game character's playstyle made me sick of clockleave. 6. his character story. oh god. rivalling dry rain's in boredness. i wanted to see clockleave enjoying his vacation, maybe eating food or travelling to mond. Nooooo. instead we get to see him beat up a rando fatui dude and bully one of his people into tears. WITH NO REMORSE. 7. he just left??? dry rain and shou??? shackled to their duty for eternity??? 'for rock god' they say but dry rain is conditioned into LIKING her work, never mind that she's tired af and realised she has no identity outside being a really good secretary, shou just wants to sleep.

all in all clockleave is best characterized in his comedic moments and his design and moveset and voice is so cool but he falls so flat in every other way that it's so dumb esp when you compare w the obviously SUPERIOR god who solves mond's problems and retires without fanfare

also. kaching would be in neutral-like if it weren't for the fact that i got her c1. 

childe is in ugly tier but he's secretly SS tier, yes. 

also everything i just said was absolutely my opinion so if you have differing opinions that's fine. go touch some grass or smth k bye

[sbwriel-cymraeg]

Eddie Kaspbrak deserved better.

Let me start with this. IT, written by Stephen King, made into a movie in 2017 and then another in 2019, about a clown with a big forehead, who likes dining on children, and gets his ass kicked by a group of teenage misfits (and then again when said misfits are just about past their midlife crisis). It's a horror, it's creepy and it's gross, now you see, I don't do horrors. I'm an absolute wuss. I can't even walk into a creepy abandoned building without a plank of wood in my hand for protection, and at least two people on either side of me who would obviously be kidnapped first (and that gives me enough time to scream and run away). Anyway, I don't like horrors. So you can probably guess that there was no way in hell, or earth, that I would be watching something that involved a terrifying monster who drools as much as a bulldog (he should seriously get that checked). No way I was going to read the book, as much as I love reading, and wouldn't even consider the original from the 90s although the 90s rules the movie scene (don't argue, we all know Jurassic Park is the best movie of all time). But the thing was, I have a friend, and he can be very persuading (in the form of pizza and snacks) and also, I'm a huge McAvoy fan, and James Ransone, I've never seen that guy before but well, when I saw him in the trailer, hello handsome. And don't get me started on Bill Hader, man do I fancy that bloke... Anyway I'm going off topic. So blah blah, we end up sitting down one night, with our buffet and many cups of tea, and weirdly, we start watching IT Chapter 2 first, because he wanted to see it since it was new. I go into it with no bloody clue what was going on, who was who, why parents would let their kid out in the rain by themselves, or how nobody noticed a load of bodies leaking out of the sewer. I was asking alot of questions. But, here's the thing. Onto the whole point of this rant. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Spaghetti. Eds. The cute, little, angry man who instantly caught my attention (not just by the fact that Mr Ransone is a handsome S.O.B). From the moment he sped down the road in his posh jeep, yelling at other drivers (I feel your pain Eds) to crashing said posh jeep because he was distracted by a phone call (bad Eddie!) He instantly stole my 28 year old, attracted to dark and handsome older men, heart. Of course, I had no clue about these characters, all I saw was cute, angry man, funny dork with glasses, red headed lady, that guy from New Zealand, man who lasted five seconds, handsome librarian, and Professor X, and of course that clown that lives in the drain. So, as the movie went on, Eddie became my number one (Richie following behind in second). I learnt all about him from my friend, and more about him during the film, and couldn't help but feel sorry for the little bastard. He had a wife that I could tell he didn't love who treated him like doodoo, as a kid his dearest mom was overprotective, controlling and gave him freaking placebos to make him think he was ill (the fuck Mrs K?), that made him so nervous about getting sick and paranoid beyond belief, and I mean, his job wasn't the most exciting. Not to mention he has anxiety worse than a nun in a whore house, and was obviously afraid the most out of the group. And then, AND THEN, the film decides to drop some hints about Richie. Ah, dearest Richie, who has perfect taste in men. He's in love with Eddie. In. Freaking. Love with him. You could tell by the way he was so protective of him, constantly made fun of him (we all know that's how dudes get their crushes attention) and of course, R + E. So, of course, nearing the end of the movie, there's me grinning like an idiot, having the thought of Eddie and Richie getting out of the final fight untouched, Richie declaring his undying love for his Eddie Spaghetti, Eddie admitting his feelings for his Trashmouth, getting a kiss in there, Eds declaring he was divorcing him moth- sorry, wife, and the two walking into the sunset to start a new life together, in a nice cottage in the hills, getting married, having three kids, five dogs, ten cats, and living happily ever after. But then, my hopes and dreams were shattered. Stephen, I'm looking at you. They killed Eddie. THEY KILLED EDDIE! EDDIE! Out of all the FREAKING characters they could have booted off, they chose Eddie the rage monster, the little man with a big personality, the least deserving to freaking die in my opinion. Stephen, how could you? How could you?! Why did he have to die? Why did they have to end his life that way? Why couldn't he have a happy ending like the rest of the Losers? Not including Richie of course. Oh no, they didn't just fuck Eddie over, they also fucked over Richie. Killing the love of his life, right after he saves him, bleeding all over his big ass glasses, calling his name softly, looking at him with his big, brown eyes. Yep, Richie probably went home after the Kissing Bridge and thought about Eddie every damn day of his life. But no, they didn't just kill Eddie, oh no no, they went a step further. They left his body to rot in the sewers. Yes Andy, I'm glaring at you, you evil, evil man. They didn't take the route that Mr King took in his book, or from the original IT movie (yes I watched that later on too) no, Mr A decided to have Eddie die all alone whilst the Losers finished off Pennywise, then have Richie go back and see his dead body, freak out and have hope that they can save him, hug him tight, and not let him go. And then, oh boy, and then, they have Mike and Ben literally FORCE Richie off of Eddie, and DRAG him out of the sewers. WITHOUT EDDIE. I'm sorry Mr Andy, but tell me, how could they, Eddie's best friends, the ones who were always there for him, who they loved and adored, leave Eddie there in the sewers, all alone, in the dark, dirty, graveyard that would have had Eddie crying at the thought? It didn't make ANY sense to me. If Ben and Mike had the strength to drag a struggling, six foot something Richie away from Eddie, then surely they could have picked Eddie up between them, and got him out of there. If I was Richie, I would have decked the lot of them, Losers or not. And that's where I got pretty darn mad. Eddie didn't deserve that shit. For one, he didn't deserve to die. And two, he didn't deserve to be left down there, to slowly decay. He should have been pulled out by his friends, Richie could have had a moment with him, Eddie could have been given a funeral where his friends, and especially Richie could have said goodbye. Then, they'd have had somewere where they could memorialise him, go back and place flowers and silly things like inhalers and red shorts on his headstone, have a get together and remember him and talk to him, somewhere where Richie could always go to, knowing that Eddie was put to rest properly, and somewhere were he could sit and cry to himself, remembering all the fucking good times they had as kids and how god damn hard he fell for the crazy little shit. But, nah, we'll just leave him in the sewers, under a collapsed house, somewhere the Losers wouldn't want to visit again, somewhere they can't have a funeral, can't put Eddie to rest, somewhere that has too many bad memories and would remind everyone of how exactly Eddie lost his life. So yeah, you can say I'm pretty mad about all of that. I know he's a fictional character, but damn, he didn't deserve that shit. Neither did Richie. And to make it worse, when I watched the first movie afterwards, Eddie was just as freaking hilarious, and ridiculous as his older self. Little Eddie was a force to be reckoned with, he was definitely still my favourite even as a kid. The dude who played him, huge kudos to him. How could you not like tiny Eddie? It also showed me a lot more about how Eddie grew up, by that I mean how his mother really did treat him, and boy did I hate the fact that he died even more! So yeah, I may have gone off on one a tad... I couldn't help myself, Eddie Kaspbrak has now got a big place in the fictional character side of my heart. Just goes to show just how much actors can make an impact on people's lives, and how real they make them seem! So, I've said my part, and it's pretty obvious what I think about the ending to Mr Spaghetti's story. Encase you didn't get how I feel about it, it sucked. Eddie Kaspbrak should have lived. Should have had a second chance, especially with Richie! Not all movies follow the ending of books, so why did this one have to? Why did Ben and Redhead get to have a happily ever after and Richie and Eddie didn't? Why didn't they at least make his death meaningful and give him the send off he deserved? In other words, Eddie deserved better. That should be the motto of the movie. That's me signing off, I'm going to go be mad somewhere else, because I'll never get over this movie. I'm a huge fan now, but man, the ending was as bad as Bill's endings. Oh and uh, fuck you Pennywise. Oh, also, if anyone's going to Wales Comic con this Saturday (you should, because James Ransone will be there, I know right, what are the chances?) come say hi. I'll be dressed in a yellow raincoat and green wellies, holding a red balloon... Don't ask why, I just like the colours. See you later, Losers.