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ms-unbekannt · 2 days ago

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The Ballad of the Broken Birdies

| The one with the first night part 1 |

Sweet Impressions (or The one with the first night pt2)

She must have drifted off for a while right after he had left, she barely remembers how she got to his room and she doesn’t remember anything of how she got into bed. There was considerably less noise now, as her eyes parted slightly she adjusted her body to the mattress, the sheets felt surprisingly soft against the cold skin of her legs. She didn’t know what time it was but it was still very dark in the room, she was thankful not to have a headache yet, she was also grateful Luigi wasn’t there to see what a mess she must look like. She turned around to the other side facing the window, she was in no condition to even argue with herself about going back to her apartment, she still felt very much tipsy and would probably fall at the first attempt to stand.

She heard a knock at the door. Oh no, I hope it’s not some random girl looking for Luigi, she thought. The door opened softly “Hey, are you awake?” He whispered while closing the door behind him. At least a fraction of his kind self must actually be real otherwise he wouldn’t have knocked at his own door before entering.

“Hmmm” It was all the sound she let out. He wasn’t sure if she was going to be offended by the next question but he didn’t have any ulterior motives behind it, or so he thought.

“Is it okay if I sleep in my bed too?” He was right in the edge of the bed, his tone reluctant and almost ashamed “I’m really tired” He added as if he was trying to convince her or plead, which was very unlike him.

“Of course, it’s your bed” She said without even thinking it through. There wasn’t much to think really, he had been kind enough to take care of her and this was in fact, his bed and his room. It was only when she felt his weight on the bed that she went over that again, his bed and his room. If it hadn’t been for the alcohol in her system she probably would have freaked out, not because it was him but because she doesn’t’ sleep in random guy’s rooms. Was he still a random guy though?

“Are you still thinking about the fake reflection in the mirror?” His warm breath brushing the back of her neck, she hadn’t realized he was so close to her own body. He had been careful enough to avoid even graze at her feet, however the warmth irradiating from his body was pretty difficult to control.

“Did I say fake?” She asked, genuinely trying to remember if she had said fake

“I’m not sure” His voice trailed off to the real question he had had in mind

“You don’t like me, do you?” The words came out of the blue, leaving his lips before he could even think them through. For a few seconds it seemed the party was completely silent and the only sound was their own breathings mixed with heavy overthinking

“It’s not that” She whispered finally breaking the silent bubble “I just don’t understand you” If she hadn’t been tipsy like she is now she would have written an imaginary essay in her mind before any of those words were ever spoken out loud.

“I could say the same about you” She was still facing the window making it impossible for him to see the subtle expression of curiosity she had. It never occurred to her that someone like him would have any thoughts about her, not because she felt less than him in any level but because he surely wouldn’t have time to spend on silly ideas about a girl he barely knew. She had regarded him as an overachiever very early in their time as acquaintances so him wasting any time on anything worthless would make her own assumptions about him rather wrong.

“What do you mean?” The sheets feeling suddenly uncomfortable under her body, she shifted a little further away from him dragging her legs as silently as possible towards the end of the bed, almost like making a silent pact with herself

“Who are you really?” He asked back. He certainly didn’t spend his whole days wondering about her but from time to time, whenever he would see her or Beth mentioned her casually he couldn’t avoid a rebellious thought coming back to him and settling in that part of his mind where he kept all intriguing unanswered matters

“That’s quite an odd question to ask, don’t you think?” She realized they had been asking back and forth, both probably unwilling to give themselves away that easily. She didn’t delude herself into thinking she was anything but what she was, long hours of dwelling about her identity and raw self-honesty had led her to both a cursed and blissful acknowledge of her own self. She could easily answer the question; it wasn’t the contents the ones she was hesitant about it was the recipient at the end of the line.

She sighed heavily unconsciously breaking her own silly pact of silence

“I would like to know, if you let me” His words letting out that well educated and polite young man. A faint smile settled in her lips, she had felt surprisingly satisfied by his last words but the previous curiosity was still very much struggling within her to be resolved

“But why do you want to know? How come you think I’m not just like anyone else. I’m pretty sure you don’t go around asking people who they are”

“I saw you one time outside the library” He replied, like guessing her invisible request “You looked naturally friendly, you were giggling to a dude” She knew exactly who he was talking about, she had a couple of dates with him but it didn’t lead to anything more than a casual friendship

“Phillip” As the conversation deviated from his original question her body muscles were finally relaxing again

“Are you two dating?” The noise downstairs had definitely died down, from outside the hall they could both hear the heavy dragging of feet on the carpet, some whisperings and silly laughs. The only light coming from the thin line where the curtain didn’t cover the window, it was definitely sunrise time soon

“Oh no, we had a couple of dates but nothing else” He felt a bit silly having a conversation with the back of her neck but he guessed she would reveal even less if he asked to turn around. That nagging rebellious compulsion to figure her out was bothering him now more than ever, his jaw clenching at the idea of having to go through a whole questionnaire for her to say two words and then he still had no idea why, why the sudden necessity of knowing anything about her

“Why?” His feet involuntarily jiggled roughly brushing her cold legs for a bare half a second, although she felt paralyzed to his touch she decided to ignore the nonexistent nervousness she should’ve felt

“Well, he wanted some casual thing so” She said a little too loud for her liking, her ears still adjusted to the former chaotic noise from the party. He remembers Beth mentioning something about her having a date a while ago, it must have been the same guy. He knew perfectly well she was not dating anyone and she hadn’t been in the whole time he knew her, at least not seriously anyway but as a college experience any young girl would date often or at least regularly, even more so if she’s good looking and smart like her, that leads him to believe it’s definitely her own choice not to date

“What’s wrong with casual?” She was still very much glad the whole who are you topic was left behind but she still couldn’t get the answer she was waiting for, if anything every time he speaks it open new unidentified doors she had a compulsion to open. She’s not sure if it’s her general curiosity as an over thinker or something more she’s not ready to accept. She frowned at the thought of being uncertain about her own ideas.

“I don’t do casual” Of course she doesn’t, he thought. She might just be the most typical Lit student out there; he can’t avoid being a little judgmental. Even though he is also not into hookups he guesses her reasons are more romantics than his.

“You’re telling me you’ve never dated anyone?” A sudden rush flashed through his veins, the knowledge of her dealing with a romantic and steady relationship seemed a far-fetched scenario to imagine. They barely knew each other and this has been the longest time in history anyone took to answer one question, that still remains unanswered. He can’t imagine she would behave any less puzzling towards a boyfriend.

He couldn’t fathom his question had been too complicated to reply even to her.

“Of course I have! I had a boyfriend before for a long time but we split up before college started” She answered “I meant I don’t do hookups or one night stands”

“Why not?” There he goes again, she thought. He seemed to have an endless curiosity similar to her’s. Maybe in other days where she was less tired or less impatient she would have dragged that game forever but she grew tired of answering silly questions however satisfied she had felt

“I’m too good to share myself with just anybody” She blurted nonchalantly. He couldn’t avoid the sudden subtle grin emerging on his features “and I don’t have time to date anyway”

“Is that who you really are?”

“I’m two” Her voice shivering slightly but not less determined. It never happens that she talks about her own perceptions of herself with anyone. She’s secretly hoping he doesn’t notice how her body is tensed again and how her hands can’t stop fidgeting under the bed linen. If she thought about it more she would be cursing at herself for spreading her very intimate inner world to Luigi.

“I think very highly of myself, I know I’m smart and thoughtful, maybe too much. I know I’m fair looking, probably just a tiny bit above average beauty standards” He had surprisingly thought something very similar when he first saw her. Although her complexion was simple and nothing stood out in her appearance at first glance, there were flickering sparks of beauty that if lingering on only for a few minutes would reveal a much more underlying kind of charm. He was uncertain if it was her sharp chestnut eyes, distant and judgmental under long but thin lashes or her rounded nose above even less friendly almost plump lips that would curl just slightly to any silly joke, while the rest of the time would rest earnest and resolute. He had only thought about her physical appearance a couple of times, still unsure of what it was that made her in simple words, pretty.

She continued “I know I would be the sweetest girlfriend, I’m fun to be around, I’m interesting all by myself so sharing me would result all the same. I can talk for hours about so many things” She showed obvious academic competency and great grasp of general cultural topics, that’s undisputed but he couldn’t image her being sweet, as she had said. He was about to ask when she anticipated him.

“The other one” She exhale heavily while bending her legs into her abdomen in a clear defensive move “It’s less kind and rather obvious. I’m scared-” She trailed off unsure of how to handle the still shivering voice and keep her dignity at the same time

“Why are you scared, Lya?” His voice rougher than intended but with a sincere rhythm of concern. It wasn’t the first time he said her name, he would always address people by their names as a perpetual ritual but now the air had clearly shifted in between them after her name left his lips. The walls she had been clearly building all night were shaking as much as her own hands in between her thighs, it is always a battle to show yourself as you really are no matter how aware you are about who you are. After accepting someone actually wants to know there’s still the insecurities and fears disguised as hesitations knocking at every unopened door.

She didn’t remember another time where she had felt as vulnerable and as wanted as now. Everything could be in her mind but the way he had delivered her name, it reached every bit of her system even those past selves, the less wise and more childish versions of herself she barely visits anymore. A rare sensation of yearning settled in her chest and the urgency to give herself away to someone that had no second intentions grew expectedly wild. He had nothing to gain by knowing anything about her, the mere curiosity she had earlier deemed him with switched to genuine interest. That was it, he wasn’t just curious because he didn’t get her, he was offering real signs of friendship, a disinterest connection just for the sake of it.

It had been a while since she last shed a tear but she couldn’t hold gasping and mourning just one single drop down her eye.

“Lya?” In a sweet movement of reassurance, he pressed his palm on the back of her shoulder. It felt like a whisper, a subtle spark that would unknowingly to both would be the beginning of a profound attachment. If they had been thinking clearly, they would have known that given their own characters nothing but an honest and deep connection would arise from their bond.

She let herself be guided by his hands, pressing on her cold skin to turn her around and bring her close to his chest, not before letting him brush from her cheeks the other few drops that fell after the first one. It had been one of the most spontaneous actions he had ever acted on, reach out for her an instant after hearing her quiet sob. He didn’t remember now what were his thoughts in that instant and whether he questioned a more intimate approach towards her, he could have been hesitant not knowing her reaction to such a personal action, whether he had any of those thoughts in his mind or not he was glad his body had been true to itself and to his kindhearted nature.

She rested her face on his forearm and closed her eyes, breathing deeply and steady. His free hand lingered in the back of her neck, after becoming an expert on it for the good half an hour they had been talking. Her hair feeling soft and thin against the tip of his fingers, a faint smile painted in the corner of his lips. He was well aware of his charm and generous character, he knows why people befriend him and he quietly enjoys the satisfaction of being a good friend, so now being completely honest with himself he let his chest filled with the sweetest sensation of pride. She had been a tough cookie to crack so he deserved the gratification he was feeling now.

He had not expected for her to continue at all. She parted from his chest just enough to look up at him, the light not strong enough to expose much more of her features

“I’m scared because I’m just like anybody else, thinking I’m not good enough” She paused for almost an unnoticeable second “I fear rejection just like the common man, I hide myself because I’m scared I’m going to be rejected. I know I’m a great person so being rejected would hurt both my character and my ego. It would mean I’m not as great as I think I am, and even if I am people wouldn’t see it, thus annulling the perception I have of myself”

“I don’t live constantly switching in between my two selves or shying away from people, if that’s what you think” Her voice was taking a familiar passionate rhythm that he become to know very well each time she gave her opinion about anything “I’m not with anyone because I haven’t met anyone that would be worthy of me and would give me the security I don’t say I need. I know that when I do I will be willing to do everything for them because I know that’s who I am” So this is the sweet self she said she was, he thought.

“I know it could be a bit surprising to hear but I don’t and won’t ever measure my well-being based on academic or professional achievements” She whispered softly this time, less fervent than before almost in a secret blink “My ambitions lie somewhere even more fragile” As the light coming from the window became more intense he could see her lashes moving nervously before speaking again

“I guess I’m the stereotype of classic novel reader, I want love” She continued despite the embarrassment in her cheeks, clearly felt by him and his arm surrounding her frame “It’s naive I know, but when I find it I want to keep it. That for me it’s genuine success” Luigi felt Lya’s gaze on him for the first time since he went into his room, her intense eyes filled with the burning sensation of honesty. He Felt compelled to ask, to know more about her.

“Something happened to you, right?” His voice barely even a whisper, quiet and serene for such a violent and invasive question “Something made you be who you are now” He affirmed. Someone who claims to know exactly who she is, she must have figured out a long time ago what changed her and made her who she is today, he was sure of that.

“Yes” She replied without hesitation and surprisingly with very little shame “I don’t remember very much of it, I just know it happened, I remember only the last bit of it” The memories always seemed both distant and close, she could summon them in a blink of an eye but they could hide easily throughout her life if she wanted them so “It’s odd I don’t remember anything before that, I don’t remember who my friends were, if I was reading any books, what I did during summers, what tv show I liked. It’s like I was born in that moment and that’s just incredibly sad” The discrete hold he had been keeping at the back of her neck shifted into an eager grasp, filled with compassion and empathy. His touch drew her even closer to his chest and her body thanking such an honest and affectionate movement embraced his frame urgently as if they had been friends for a lifetime, as if they had belonged to one another in a past and forgotten time. His heart had shriveled listening to her intimate confession, feeling partly guilty for having asked such a question guessing pretty well the answer that was going to follow. Luigi was certain now they were more similar than he had originally thought.

It felt like they had remained in that position for a century, neither of them willing to break the newly found bond. It was the first time Lya had spilled her life simply out of intuition, she still didn’t know exactly who he was but something about him had felt safe enough for her to give away her precious self. An unknowingly missing piece had returned to her soul, carving his name on her heart for eternity.

Breathing softly into his chest Lya finally spoke again.

“I’m sorry if I’ve ever been unpleasant to you” That was something he wasn’t expecting “I guess you made me doubt my capacity to judge people because I-“ She paused for a second “I just can’t figure you out” For a minute or two he didn’t dare to speak, he knew she deserved the same honesty she had given him but he needed some time to gather his words properly. Loosening the grasp on her body he inched away a little, her dark and sharp eyes looking up at him, more awake than ever.

#luigi x reader #luigi mangione x reader #luigi imagine #free luigi

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