#yes this is about specific people but if i don't wanna say shit bc i don't wanna cause stress for the other victims

[bbeeohazardd]

it's always "believe victims" until said victims actually try to reach out and warn people about an abuser who abused multiple people and then suddenly it's "trying to make a call-out post on an innocent person"

[k3n-dyll]

maybe because not everyone has to cater to black and brown readers? if i feel excluded then talk to ur black and brown writers bc why tf would (for ex.) white writers write black readers when…when they aren’t?? yall aren’t victims write ur own shit if u care so much like idk what to tell u but not everyone has to bow down and write the way you want them too.

The fact that this is what you got from me saying that POC feel excluded from fandom is...insane.

I hesitate to even answer this because you sound stupid as hell, but since I think other people need to get this shit through their skulls as well:

If you are a writer, and you claim to be writing an "x reader" fanfic for a character you like, the general consensus is that "reader" in this situation should be neutral for the most part. Sure, there's different versions of that ( "x fem reader", "x masc reader", etc.") , but generally, the idea is that "reader" in this situation could be anyone, yes? A lot of writers on this app and others, write "reader" as if tiny white women are the default.

And you know what?

If you wanna write that way, fine, but say that. If you so desprately want to write about Abby Anderson fucking a 5ft nothing white girl with blonde hair and green eyes - write that. But don't call that shit an "x reader" when you know its a self insert meant to exclude everybody that doesnt look like you. Dont claim to be a safe place for all readers if when POC say they feel excluded from the things you write, you say stupid shit like what this anon just did. If your shit is labeled "x reader" with no other warnings, one should be able to assume that they arent going to see any specifics about body type, hair textures, skin color or eye color - but no. Thats not the case.

I swear, every time we bring this shit up you bitches act like we killed your fucking grandma. If you dont wanna write in a way that everyone can consume, fine, but dont make it seem as if petite white girls are just the default human in every scenario. Theres a content warning over every fic, if you dont want to see how problematic it is to write as if whiteness is the default then the least you could do it leave a big fat warning in that little "CW" section to let us know that you didnt write this with the existence of people that dont look like you in mind.

Oh, and I do write my own stuff btw. Don't ever come in my inbox with this bullshit again. Pissing me off first thing in the morning😒

[goldfades]

headcannons of you being a media girl for the team and KK constantly annoying you and pulling you with her to make tiktoks

you cannot tell me that kk wouldn’t be all up in that camera

“welcome to the kk arnold show-“

“ KK GIMME MY DAMN CAMERA!”

𝐔𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐁𝐁 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑!𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

─ warnings | nothing but light banter, pretty much nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | so instead of like media girl hc's, i'm gonna do manager, it's basically the same thing except manager kinda does everything, it's not limited to photos and social media. it's BASICALLY the same just more of an umbrella term LOL, i hope y'all enjoyed!

you've been the manager for the women's bb team since freshman year and let's just say it's SO chaotic but very rewarding

and yes, you're so right

kk would force you to be in the videos and you're all like force smiling, looking like you're being held hostage

everyone in the comments are SCREECHING cus your answers are always so hilarious and they all love you

"who has the best music taste on the team OTHER THAN YOU?" "other than me?????" "yeah.." "no one, i have the best one"

but people love you sm

i feel like they'd make compilations of you interacting with the team (in specifically the tiktoks bc they're funny af)

eventually people coin the term... "y/n and her toddlers"

you're like the mom of the team (obviously cus ur the manager) but like in more ways than just one

like the freshman first start to open up to you, every comes to you for advice, etc etc

they all just ADORE you

cus who wouldn't?

since you're in charge of the social medias, you FEED the paige bueckers girlies

you take so many pictures of our girl and everyone on tiktok loves u for it

on the buses to games, oh god bless u

especially the really long car rides, everyone will do anything but sleep when the only thing you're tryna do is sleep

LIKE EVERYTHING, they will bring cases of redbull bc they swearrrrr it's team bonding

(they just wanna shit talk everyone they know)

they drag you into everything, especially like if two (or multiple) of the girls are having problems bc you usually know how to deal with them

they adore you yes, but they also fear the fuck outta you

so you make them sit down and talk it out (with you + any seniors at the time to make sure they actually do) then BOOM it's fixed

again, you're like their mom

here's a little snippet of what it's like being their manager 😗

──

"Hey y'all, welcome back to the KK Arnold show! Today we're gonna go interview the mysterious Y/N," KK shouted as she looked at the camera with a smile, beginning to walk to the sidelines of the empty court. She gestured to keep walking until they eventually reach you.

You looked up to meet the camera with a confused smile as you setup your camera. KK couldn't help but let out a laugh, causing you to shake your head in amusement.

"Everyone wanted to have an interview with you, how do you feel about that?" KK finally got out after she stopped laughing, unable to maintain a straight face at your confused expression.

You laughed softly, adjusting the camera before responding, "Uh... well you know, it's part of the job."

KK shook her head dramatically as the camera zooms in on her face, "She hates you guys, Y/N is a D1 hater-"

"No, oh my god shut up!" You laughed as KK gave you a mock glare. "I love you guys."

"How do you feel about the edits?" KK held in her laugh as she glanced back at you then the camera, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Of... Paige?"

KK shook her head, "No, of you."

"There are edits of me?" You couldn't but laugh as you shook your head, taking a seat on the bench as you finished up setting up your film camera.

"Yeah, the people are going feral." KK smirked, clearly enjoying your reaction. "Oh don't act like you haven't seen them, we send them to you on the groupchat."

You glared at KK before she bursted out laughing, putting up her hands in surrender. "Bro, leave me alone."

"No, you signed up for this when you became manager." KK joked as you held in your laugh with a thin-lipped scowl, pretending to be annoyed.

Before you could respond, Paige and Nika walked out to the court and KK waved them over. "Guys, Y/N's being a hater again."

"Aw, be nice to the freshman, Y/N." Paige joked as she joined you on the bench. KK sent her a glare as you and Paige laughed, Nika joining you two on the bench with a grin.

You shot KK a playful glare, though the corners of your lips couldn't help but twitch upwards. " Yeah, freshman privileges only go so far, KK. Don't push your luck."

"Bro," KK sighed exasperatedly as all three of you laughing. "Anyways back to the interview, how do you feel about the Paige edits?"

You and Paige glanced at each other before Paige began laughing. "Actually, as an veteran-edit watcher, they're really good. I don't know about the audios though, they're not very cordial."

"Oh my god, Y/N watched the KK Arnold show confirmed?" KK gasped as laughed loudly, joined by Nika and Paige.

"Bro, I recorded that video."

KK's smile dropped as she dramatically side eyed the camera and gestured toward her neck. "Cut the cameras, cut the damn cameras."

The camera didn't cut, it zoomed on all three of you laughing loudly. KK tried to maintain a serious expression before she sighed dramatically, "the haters are gonna keep hating."

"Facebook ass quote," Paige mumbled as you began laughing even harder, feeling your stomach beginning to hurt as tears began to build in your eyes.

"Oh you really wanna play with me right now," KK joked as she stormed toward you and Paige as the camera cut dramatically.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[quantum1mmortality]

Yeah, BOO!! Twst men kinks and shit idk

another writers block blurb LMAO

My one coworker bought me ice cream in exchange for a shenhe smut so I'm trying to get done the floyd smut im working on so I can get that to her </3 here's some filler so you guys don't go starving waiting for content

Cw!!! Fem reader, so much filth

NO ORTHO.

Two disclaimers this time: SOME OF THESE MY INCLUDE SAM AND CREWEL, WHEN THEY DO, READER IS NOT YUU FOR THEM. also not proofread teehee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loves doing it in public. The fear of you guys getting caught while also having everyone know that you're his turns him on to no extent. He'll be thrusting into you at such a high speed, hand over you mouth as he whispers things in your ear, "someone may hear us, you may wanna keep it down." He says that with the CHEEKIEST grin on his face, he KNOWS how much you're struggling 😭😭

♧Cater, lilia, leona, rook(?), floyd, jade, Sam(would do it in his store)♧

Really like soft, sensual sex. Views it more as "love making", as he puts it. Will be rough if you want him to, but would never hit you. It may be hard for him to be rough at first, give him time. But back to the love making thing, he just can't get enough of you. He loves missionary because he can see all of you, having you in such a vulnerable position and having you let him do this to you makes him feel so trusted. He'll be going at a fast enough pace. Telling you how much he loves you, how much he wants you and how he wishes he could stay like this forever. Seriously the bestest men ever.

♧trey, malleus, silver, azul, riddle, jamil, kalim, jack, deuce,♧

So in love with you he'd try anything you want. Wanna tie him up? He's okay with that. Blindfolds? Who needs to see anyway. Wanna piss in his mouth? He thinks about it for a minute, but decides he'd gladly be your trashcan. In a way, all he wants to do is please you, he wants you to pleasure yourself on him so bad he'd do anything for that to become a reality.

♧kalim, sebek, malleus, ROOK, ruggie(only if you give him donuts), deuce, riddle, azul♧

Possessive sex x10. Would see you with another man and would get so anxious you may leave him. Too much of a baby back bitch to talk to you directly about it so he takes his frustration out by fucking you really hard. Says he's sorry later and tries to talk about it later but he's too shy.

♧just idia♧

SOOOOOO into breeding. Literally so inlove with how his cum drips put of you once he's done. Can't wait until you guys are older that way you guys can actually make a family. Seriously in love with the mating press position and hearing his balls slap on your ass when he's fucking you so hard.

♧malleus, leona, rook, vil, trey, cater, jack, crewel, azul, jade, floyd, jamilly willy♧

Wouldn't mind fucking you infront of a crowd. Not the same as fucking you in public, I mean like ACTUALLY fucking you in front of a crowd. Having hundreds of people watch the two of you express your love to eachother turns him on, he'd really like to do it but wouldn't wanna overstep your boundaries.

♧malleus, kalim, vil, leona, lilia but specifically general lilia♧

Really loves foreplay and can get off just by mouth fucking you. It turns him on knowing how easily you can get overstimulated from his mouth or fingers. He never expects anything in return, and he usually does it after you have a bad day (with consent ofc) so you can unwind more easily. Always runs a nice warm bath after <3

♧malleus (does want something in return sometimes but would never force you), trey, cater, ace, deuce, leona, silver floyd, jamil, rook♧

Kind of on the same page as the last one, LOVES having you sit on his face. Holds you down by your thighs and eats you out for hours on end. Definitely the type of guy to grab you by your waist, one hand rubbing your clit as he bounces you up and down on his tongue. Looks cutely fucked out when he's done.

♧ughhhhhh everyone bc yes <3♧

Uses lots of pet names during sex, will call you things like "darling","beloved","princess", idk may call you schnookums. Type of guy to call you all of these in one breath.

♧leona, rook, vil, floyd, lilia♧

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: might make a part two idk lololilol

[majinbangus]

Majin~ idk if my original ask sent so I'm gonna send it again just in case, Tumblr must find my asks delicious bc they get eaten like 85% of the time 🥲

Hello! Idk it you're taking requests now, or if you've already done this prompt/theme before, but I was wondering what it'd be like to be one of the many people Johnny flirts with on base, and you brush it off bc he's such a flirt. And yes, while Johnny will flirt with just about anyone bc thats his default setting, he's low-key going out of his mind bc he wants you to see that with you, it's different! It's genuine and sincere! What will it take for you to realize that the only person he's got a huge crush on is you?

Idk just wanted to see this from your perspective! No worries if you don't feel like writing anything for this, still love ya!! 😘

hey anon, sorry for the wait, getting my groove back slowly, but here it is. i might do another version of this some other time tho bc i had another vision for it but ended up with this

You don't know why he's been so affectionate with you lately. His playful flirting has gotten excessive, too. It's weird. He's being weird.

It's not like you dislike the attention, but you know he doesn't mean anything by it. That's just how he is. You know you're firmly designated as ‘friend’ in his eyes. A painful fact you've known ever since he made that comment to his ex about never seeing you in a different light because you ‘weren't his type.’ 

Yeah, that stung a bit, and you were a little offended, but that was more ego talking and less romantic feelings at the time. 

Unfortunately, things have changed. Feelings have changed. Yours, specifically.

You don't quite remember when exactly it happened, but you know it was sometime during the last few months of his last relationship. That was an agonizing time, and over a year since the end of that relationship plus several flings later, you're still pathetically pining over a man who will never see you as anything more than a friend because quote ‘he could never be attracted to someone who wasn’t his type’ unquote.

Now, you have to put on a smile and pretend it doesn't make your heart malfunction whenever he flashes that dimpled smile at you, or when he rests an arm over your shoulder while he walks next to you calling you all sorts of pet names he's never called you before. Not to mention all the times he feeds you a piece of his lunch, and when he grabs your wrist and makes you feed him. That barely scratches the surface of his newfound behavior around you.

Soap has never shown you more flirtation than the usual shallow amount he gives to anyone he's not dating. To be bathed in it out of nowhere is a shock to your system. An enigma you can't comprehend, nor are you eager to question it lest you lose his sudden affection. And despite the delusional part of you wishing he meant something by it, deep down you know it's simply false hope making you imagine the romantic adoration reflecting in those pretty ocean blues of his.

“–so what do you say?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You blink a few times, trying to force yourself to focus on Soap and not how bright his eyes are, or how warm his body feels pressed up against yours with his arm slung around your shoulder. He's so close, it's making your heart do fireworks.

“I asked if you wanna meet up next time we're on leave? We rarely hang out outside of work and drinks at the pub.”

“I can't.�� It's not that you don't want to, but you don't really see the logic behind it, either. “One, we don’t live remotely close to each other, and two, I have family coming to visit.”

Soap laughs at your excuses, tightening his arm and pulling you impossibly closer. “That just means I can meet them, love! I've been meaning to sight see where you’re from anyway!”

It's your turn to bark out an incredulous laugh. “Sight see what? Soap, the city I live in is shit.”

“Och, can't be that bad if the locals are half as lovely as you, darlin’.”

“That was terrible!” You giggle, nearly doubling over at his cheesy flirtation, but despite yourself, you can't stop the fluttering in your heart, hoping he doesn't realize how much you actually like his attention and stupid charming words, or how you can barely share the same space with him without feeling like your chest is going to burst, or the obvious hearts in your eyes every time you look at him. “Please tell me you use better lines than that!”

Soap pays no mind to your laughter with that lopsided smile on his lips. He stares at you with those stupid, pretty blue eyes, strong arm still around you almost as if he's staking some kind of claim on you, like a leash or collar. You wish that was the case. You'd give anything to be marked as his.

“They seemed to work for me so far.” 

“Oh, really?”

“Aye.”

“Psh, then save the cheese for someone you want.”

“What if I want you?”

“What?” He sounds so earnest you have to stop a moment, shrugging off his arm, and turning to face him. Soap doesn’t flinch, staring back at you with such intensity you laugh uncomfortably to ease the growing tension in your chest. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Soap. You almost got me.”

“I’m being serious. I want you.”

“Since when?”

It’s a genuine question. You’re not playing dumb intentionally–well, maybe a little–but after so long of pining after him, this is something you need him to spell out for you. Even then, a part of you is ready to laugh off whatever he says next. 

Because what you have with Soap doesn’t go any deeper than a close friendship. It never has and never will be anything more than that. Even when you want it to be more, you know he’d never love someone like you. 

“Soap?” You tilt your head at him when he doesn’t answer. His smile has dropped and he’s looking at you with that cute frown of his you’ve always loved. The one when he’s deep in thought, doing all sorts of calculations or analysis on whatever has him stumped. 

“I don’t know how I can be any clearer, hen.” He talks slowly. Low and soft as if in disbelief. “Thought I’ve been obvious with my flirtin.”

“We ‘flirt’ all the time!” You laugh, trying to deflect the growing hope you feel. “We’re friends, Soap. Stop messing with me! Besides, I know I’m not your type.”

Surprisingly, he sounds offended when he asks, “Where’d you get that idea?” 

“What, that I’m not your type? You said it.”

“When?”

“When you were with what’s-her-face? The crazy possessive instagram model.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’, that always stuck with me, so thanks for that.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

You give a derisive laugh. “Then why’d you say it?”

“She was insecure.” Soap furrows his brows in regret, running a hand through his mohawk. “I thought I liked her at the time, so I said it to make her feel better. She didn't like you.”

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” You mutter bitterly. “I respected boundaries, and she always thought I was trying to ‘steal you from her.’”

Soap mumbles under his breath, “Don’t think I would have complained if you did.”

“What was that?”

“Nothin’, bon.” He sighs, the tension falling out of his shoulders before he squares them again, staring at you in a way that makes your breath catch. “Listen. I know it might be hard to believe, but I’m not takin’ the piss. If you give me the chance, let me prove how serious I am about you.”

“Soap…”

“Darlin’...”

Fuck. A flash of those blue eyes and you can feel yourself hope. Would it really hurt to give in? Just this once? Maybe, maybe not.

Sighing, you inwardly scold yourself knowing you’re jumping headfirst into the unknown, but…

 “Fine. One chance.”

Soap’s never broken that trust before, and from the grin on his face, it tells you he’ll always be there to catch you.

“One chance is all I need.”

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Hi Red!(⌒ ▿⌒)  If it’s not too much trouble may I request Hc’s of Alphonse, Auron, Faust ,and Finn celebrating the listeners birthday? (If there’s too many asks or anything of the sort I understand, I just wandet to ask ahead cuz my birthday’s on the second and I know your inbox closes on mondays. No pressure to do it tho!/gen if you can’t do it thank you for at least taking the time to read this!)  Hope you have a good timezone! (ps love your new pfp! :D)

Happy birthday, love!

I hope you have an amazing birthday mootie!! Also thank you! I was wondering if anyone noticed I changed my pfp!! Also I saw the birthday part and was like OOP priority just went up and immediately started working on this-

Alphonse

Has the day of your birthday marked with lots of pretty colors on his calendar he has. So he doesn't forget bc his schedule sometimes makes time weird for him.

Get you your favorite snacks, treats or anything you really like eating. Yes he ate a few but don't worry he made enough so he can snack while making them!

Since there isn't a lot of shops in town he had to go into the city for a day to get some gifts for you!

If you want to go out and do a few things like do a picnic Alphonse takes the snacks and other things he made with you guys

When you two are alone he tells you how much you matter to him and how glad he was to meet you.

Finn

He's making a pretty bouquet of your favorite flowers! Along with making a cute birthday card.

He tries and make you any goods you like eating! (he might have burnt one but ignore it look at this one he perfectly did!!)

Def made a few of your gifts, to show how much he loves you! Finn thinks they give more meaning if it's made by him

Def planned to do a few things you like in the city! Loves listening you talk about them with a wide smile.

When going home Finn tells you that he's so thankful that you choose to be with him.

Auron

I feel like he's the type of partner to buy you as many gifts as the same number age your turning.

With every one he's making sure they are something you love or been wanting to get for a while

def taking you to your favorite restaurant or taking you to a fancy one. Or order in to be with you in private!

Planned the whole day for you. If there is a specific thing you want to do he called the place or already had a reservation.

In the back of the limo going back to the pent house, Auron opens again, saying how he's so glad you stayed that night.

Faust

Planning for like 2 months bc he's getting merch you wanted that takes forever to ship. Faust is considering asking for a favor from Auron to get them quicker.

Getting clothes he knows you wanted to get, he has the lists on any website you order from. Basically going into your lists and adding them to a cart bc he doesn't wanna seem suspicious

Just like Auron I can see him taking you to a restaurant you love or ordering in if you don't wanna see people.

the plans for today is either play so many video games, watch movies or do any activities you wanna do! Faust lowkey uses Auron's name to get shit done quicker, it's for you so he doesn't care.

After the day is almost about to end Faust tells you how he's so glad you gave him a chance. How you saw the real him from the persona he used so he wouldn't get hurt.

[some-thrilling-heroics]

the purpose of this post is for me to figure some stuff out so i'm open to feedback and discussion

disclaimer: i love Halsin, he's my precious bear man

but damn i am pissed

i started to really dig into the epilogue, specifically that last morning after the brain goodbye scene in the room at the inn where he says he has nine wagons of kids and he will aid the people in Thaniel's realm

sadly i can't find any footage of what he says when Tav goes "oh a community built with your own hands, i'd love to see that" (or something to that extent) bc i think that is the one option that nullifies the goodbye and i think? he just asks if Tav is sure and then happy end bells

but even so

the interaction practically starts with "why does this sound like you're saying goodbye?" - oh that's because he is. at least for now. but Tav can visit, he's very eager for them to visit - and then narrator is like a tenday later Tav went to the commune and then the party invite stuff, not important

and I'm like....

it just hit me how - yes, Halsin has abandonment issues and he wants to help those orphans and all the homeless refugees and all the great stuff but like…… HOW DARE YOU DECIDE FOR ME THAT I DON'T WANNA GO WITH YOU????

watching that on a loop three times seriously hit me hard and i don't like it (as in me, personally, not in the sense that it's bad writing or it makes no sense for him to do that, maybe it does - if somebody can help me wrap my head around that, I would be super grateful bc atm I'm stuck in my own emotional reaction to Halsin making decisions for me)

in my head Tav's response to that should be: fuck you, i don't want to visit - fuck that! i wanna go with you and move in with you bc I love you but i guess you don't really want that huh? oh you do? then I guess we are at an impasse, huh?

bottom line is - what do I want to do with it in my fic?

i could ignore it bc i kinda wanna, i don't want them fighting like that

on the other hand it would be great to have this devolve into a conflict, bc i already sprinkled a few tiny bits of them saying not the best things but then the other kinda steps past it or around it and they are fine, but it would add some realism for them to have a serious disagreement about their (joint) future and about communicating and making decisions and could be something to be revisited as a work in progress for them to grow into as their relationship keeps going

i don't mind exploring difficult shit in my fics, i already decided to commit and give Tav my trauma and it was very cathartic just drafting that bit, and this turning into a conflict could play into that I suppose, could work really well

I guess my problem is the dissonance between Halsin doing that unintentionally bc of his own issues and him generally being very considerate and respectful of others, especially Tav imo, he was perfectly happy to follow their decisions as a leader but now I guess they are no longer the leader and this is his thing, his commune, his new purpose in life and ofc he could never be selfishly happy when he could be doing good things for strangers but like.... i can't grasp that step how from that he goes into "therefore I shall not offer this as a choice for them but instead make that a foregone conclusion that this is goodbye, at least for now" - is it bc asking means risk of rejection and he'd rather reject himself to spare them both the interaction?

sorry this got rambly XD but anyway - thoughts?

[velvetvexations]

as we all know you are THE popular Tumblr transfems. all of the popular radical feminist transfems on the site are actually the underdogs and definitely don't have huge followings or any social power on this website. don't look at their four-digit follower counts or the way they subtly encourage dogpiling people because they know there's a crowd of people who will do it immediately that's irrelevant

TRFs think 1k and 15k are the same number because they both have a one in them.

Being so many levels deep in the feminism discourse makes daily life amusing sometimes. Like some of the shit I wanna joke about would probably comes off as misogynistic without the context of it being in response to radical feminism but it's so funny. Like saying shit like I love erasing women doesn't necessarily make sense to someone who doesn't know it's in response to terfs talking about gender neutral medical language etc. Or like having to hear constant feminism 101 basic bitch feminism stuff from people around me and just nod cause I know they don't wanna hear about The Nuance cause the average person isn't as interested in social and gender theory as I am. Like to the average level one feminist I can understand how more complex feminism can come off as misogynistic so I don't Get Into It with coworkers and the like but I am always sitting here brimming with Opinions anyway. That and people at work seem to read me as "guy who's kind of gender nonconforming" rather than trans so I don't get interpreted as being a voice of "authority" on anything about gender or misogyny (and I'd rather stick with that than be the Outspoken Tranny tm). It's a silent game of "I know more than you"

lmao you're hiding your power level

How the heck do I not take doing something bad as life ending. I fucked up today bc I lost track of time and missed doing something with my bf. He says he’s not mad but I can tell he feels bad in some way, and I don’t blame him, I unequivocally DID fuck up, and it’s hard not to want to just fall on the ground and rip my skin off ngl lol but I know at this point if I keep apologizing or asking him if I can fix it or offering him shit is just going to come across desperate and weird, and I have to take him at face value that he is not mad, and it’ll be okay tomorrow, but arghhhhhhhh I’m historically horrible at taking people who are clearly upset saying “I’m not mad at you” at face value

please let me know if you find out because that wrecks me too

Fascinated by how much transandrophobia in queer spaces is like, 'youre a Dude and therefore obviously you cannot experience this opression the way you think you do, people obviously view you as a Man and therefore you have male privilege, anyway heres the most wildly specific misogynistic trope youve never seen aimed at cis men aimed at trans dudes, this is not sus at all' Yes this is abt the 'trans dudes on t should go on mood stabilisers' before someone asks.

it's so blatant

i find it very fun(/s) that theres like, two separate groups of trfs where one is super open about hating transmascs n shit and the other is more "guys THEORY" and the second group constantly pretends the first group doesn't exist and actually you're lying literally no one has ever said that ever what are you talking about

Mask on, mask off.

started just instant blocking anyone I see putting trf bullshit on my dash. soon I will have peace.

true inner peace

[dafodils-on-the-moon]

!!!! So many questions bc I love this with all my heart <3 First, it's freaking hilarious that he became jester because he was "difficult to handle." LOVE that. Second, I gotta know, what does everyone else think about him? Arthur? Gwen? Morgana? Is Morgana doomed to die by the hands of a COURT JESTER?????

Ok so. Crucial part of this Au: Uther knows Merlin in Balinor’s son but does NOT know abt the magic. Merlin does not know about being Balinor’s son. Uther kept him cause he thinks it would be a good idea to have a dragonlord on hand that's loyal to Camelot, given what he's keeping under the castle.

Also I'm very aroace and don't wanna write romance for a while, so no romantic Murther.

Instead, Uther raises Merlin and Arthur as brothers. He deeply encourages the loyalty to one another as keeping Merlin loyal is essetail and Merlin is a very valuable asset that bears protecting. He emphasises to Arthur that as the eldest, Merlin is his responsibility and he should take care of him. Merlin is his younger brother.

Arthur takes to this role like a wildfire. Protective as SHIT over his new baby brother (Merlin is two years younger), esp. Since he was… not doing too hot when he first got to the castle. He was greiving and seemed *terrified* and didn’t speak at all for months. He was sickly too, for reasons no-one could pinpoint. Arthur had made it his mission to cheer Merlin up, as no one should be that sad. He and Merlin communicate at first via drawings.

He only seemed to improve after he started talking quietly to an imaginary freind he named “Kiggah.” It seemed to help cause merlin slowly started talking to Arthur and then in general and his health imrpved too.

Yeah… Merlin’s imaginary freind is Killgarrah lol.

Killgarrrah, or Kiggah as a now 5 year old Merlin could pernounce, is getting a major overhaul in this AU. His is going to be far far less of a bastard. Cause dragons are too cool for him to be the absolute worst.

In this AU Kiggah actually cares more THAT HIS ENTIRE RACE WAS ERADICATED than that he was trapped under the castle. Cause, fr, that is not the part id focus on. Also I gave him a family before, sorry man. Kiggah was also really really fond of dragonlings and hatchlings and was very excited to see the hatching of his first great-grandhatchling before the purge. Ow.

Anyway, Merlin is TERRIFIED of being in Camelot. He’s terrified he’s going to say something wrong and reveal his secret and die. He blames himslef for his mother’s death (cause he’s like 4 1/2 and thats normal for kids that age) and more specifically, his magic. So he supresses the shit out of it, which is why he’s so sickly.

Kiggah senses Merlin basically killing himslef and tries coaching Merlin into using his magic again. Adopts Merlin as his own hatchling. Kiggah doesn’t know Merlin’s dad is Balinor, but he DOES know he’s emrys, magic itself. As a result, Kiggah views Merlin as a fellow magical creature and raises him accordingly. He… doesn’t really get how human hatchlings are supposed to work.

Merlin starts acting weirdly dragonlike. His growling, he’s biting people, hee’s climbing everything, hoarding things and has a major fixation with fire. He is gettign “difficult to handle” as UTHER, assumes this is just how dragonlordlings are, (good gracious), but needs a way to coverup the fact he’s raising one.

Fooleswurth, nuerdodivergent in ye-old times, sees Merlin and his like “haha verily. Reminds me of when I was that age, I was just the same. He must have “The Jester’s Spark, haha.”’ Uther goes “yes and” and now fooleswurth has an apprentice and Uther has a way to explain why his ward is so weird.

Anyway, Kiggah is NOT excited about Merlin’s new older sister, but Merlin loves her. He is very excited for whenever Morgana’s magic manifests. She grows on Kiggah. (Esp. With all teh trouble she gives Uther). Morgana’s going to be fine.

She and Merlin get on like a house on fire. Gossipy bitches. Morgana sics Melrin and his “jester’s privolegde” on bothersome nobles to insult them into the ground.

Gwen becomes Morgana’s maidservent, and she Morgana and Merlin are great friends.

[selfshipgushing]

The way that I've been tagging original imagines and scenarios as "pr0ship/c0mship DNI" and one of them has the absolute gall to be a boundary-disrespecting shitclown on it just bc I put a DNI sign specifically for them... these are the same ppl that say they're "anti harassment" but when it reality it means they harass antis... Anyway I'm so tired of trying to put myself out there in the selfship community

yea, I post a lot on my selfship account and I just made the executive decision not to put the banner or tag on every one of my posts bc in the past that got me a lot of harassment and shit. it's only in my pinned which, idrgaf if proshippers like or reblog my posts bc I'm certainly not looking at every single account I reblog from, but it's crazy how people will just, blatantly disrespect your boundaries. ive already had a few proshippers try to follow me on here and it's like :/ idk it's standard to read dnis before you follow so either A) why are not reading dnis or B) why are you ignoring them? ah yes, I will follow the Tumblr account of someone that doesn't want me to on the sole basis of I don't care and I enjoy it so why would I listen to your boundaries. it's really infuriating, another thing too is I've gotten a REALLY graphic NSFW ask sent in my a proshipper (it detailed a lot of uh. gross shit...) when the """rules""" blatantly say "no nsfw and no proshippers" bc shockingly I don't wanna hear about your incest fantasy on my selfship positivity blog, thanks.

[gabessquishytum]

Heyo, it's water spirit dream anon again. I feel like I should grab an emoji but tbh Im not sure what all's taken.

Speaking of I was very taken with the Hot mess Hob and Horny neighbor Dream au a while back, yknow the one where there's a fire alarm and Hob ends up outside in a towel? Good stuff. Well Ive just had my own very specific Yes And to add.

Hob and Dream have apparetments right next door to eachother, and thus have pretty close balconies. Well on day, Dream's pet (cat or raven as you prefer) hops onto Hob's balconey from Dream's, and no amount of coaxing will get them to jump back. Dream is very flustered thinking about Asking Hot Hob nextdoor to let him in so he can retrieve his Stupid Son, but he takes a deep breath and knocks on his door.

Hob answers in the smallest shorts he's ever seen and an apron, clearly embarrassed, and it's only getting worse when he realizes it's Dream of all people. He's been doing like 10 different chores, including laundry, and dream has caught him doing dishes. After some stammering, Dream asks Hob is he can get his pet off his balconey, and Hob rushes to go get the door bc Kitty!!! (Or birb?) And gives Dream a wonderful view of his mostly bare back and ass hanging out of his shorts.

If Raven, Hob opens the door and Matthew swoops in to land on Dream's shoulder, preening at his hair and shirt collar while Hob laighs in delight and calls him Beautiful. Matthew takes a cautious interest in Hob and Dream asks if he'd like to saw hello, and to hold out his arm, just don't pet him too much, it's bad for his feathers. He tentatively hops onto Hob's outstretched arm and says "Hello" in Dream's voice to him, being very friendly, before leaning in very close and making Hob nervous. Dream is very embarrassed to tell Hob that what Matthew wants is a kiss. Hob gives his head a little kiss and Matthew goes "Wow!" And swoops back to Dream. Look up Fable the raven on youtube, she's great!

If cat, Hob rushes to the balcony to make sure he hasn't jumped clean off the building and Dream rushes after to see Hob walk back in with a luxurious black cat draoed over his shoulders rubbing on him like no tomorrow. He's smilling and petting and kissing and Dream is Not jealous of his cat even if he would like to wrap around Hob's shoulders and be petted and kissed he's So not jealous. Hob walks them to the door, and when trying to get his cat back, the cat takes the tie of Hob's robe with him and leaves Hob basically naked in front of a Dream who's trying very hard to wrangle his cat and get him safely back to his apartment. It's so so tempting but Hob is Busy, and Dream needs to get his Son inside, and even though they'd both just love to jump into Hob's freshly made bed, they are alas victims of Bad Timing. Dream and Hob exchange an awkward goodbye in the hallway, and each go back to their days. Hob does he rest of his chores sinking furthur into the "God Shit it's Always a bad time when he's around! I'll never get to ask him out!" And Dream daydreams the rest of the day about Hob in a cute little apron, doing things around the house and doting on Dream with pets and kisses. ❤

And as a side note I am a firm Fucked Up Knee Hob Truther and with all that leggy on display, maybe Dream asks about it? Maybe offers to help Hob with stuff if he ever needs it, he's stronger than he looks, promise. And maybe Hob wants to rearrange his bedroom furniture? And ends up pinned to his askew bed by an indeed, stronger than he looks Dream.

Luv u mwuah

OOOO YES I always wanna talk about nearly naked, blushing and stammering Hob.

Hob kind of tends to lose track of his chores during the week, what with work and trying to have a social life. Laundry particularly tends to pile up, meaning that by Sunday he’s down to his very last items of clothing: tiny football shorts, SpongeBob socks… he does have a t-shirt but he was doing his meal prep and ended up spilling something all over himself (hence he is now shirtless. and wearing an apron, too little too late). The shorts are absolutely too small, he’s had them since he was 18 and still in his twink phase. So you better believe that Dream gets an EYEFUL when he comes to the door. Poor Hob is so embarrassed, particularly with his sore knee on display (he’s a lil bit insecure about it and he notices that Dream is staring, little does he know that it’s only made Dream fall for him even more).

The rescue of the birb/kitty cheers Hob right up though, and he forgets his almost nakedness. He peppers Dream’s runaway pet in kisses and cooes over them, gushing about how he really wants a pet but he works all day and it wouldn’t be fair to leave an animal alone, plus he’s often too sore to walk a dog or anything like that. Dream immediately offers Hob the opportunity for pet cuddles any time he wants (he’s almost like “you can cuddle me too” but he just stops himself at the last second). Pet cuddles are healing!!

They keep having awkward little meetings and then one evening Dream hears a knock on his door. Hob is there in baggy sweats and a hoodie, and he looks sad and tired. Dream invites him in straight away, and Hob explains that he’s in so much pain today and he really doesn’t want to be alone. Before he knows what’s happening he’s being ushered onto Dream’s sofa and he gets either a kitty on his lap or a Birb on his shoulder for comfort, and Dream immediately makes tea. Hob sheepishly explains that he tried to move furniture on his own and Dream gets this real mother hen expression. He promises to come over the next day and help out.

Next day happens to be chore day again and there’s Hob in his obscenely tiny shorts and a shirt with “my tits are up here” printed on the front. He’s also baked cookies (with frozen cookie dough, he admits, but Dream is no less charmed). They quickly get to work on the furniture and Dream takes great pleasure in demonstrating how strong he is!

Neither of them are quite sure how they end up sprawled together on the mattress. Dream is pretty sure that he just groped Hob’s chest as they both tumbled down. He is pretty sure that Hob was the first to lean in for a kiss, though.

It’s fair to say that the something does get rearranged, just not the furniture that Hob was expecting 😏 and Dream is very gentle with him… just not too gentle!

[lautity]

omg how did you guess i think about her.....steps in front of username to cover it. ignore that

edit from after this was written: i am so sorry. i am so so so sorry for this. it's like a whole fic i have no one else to say this to bc no onecares about them HAJKDSAHKSJHD i am . shaking. so sorry. omg. don't hate me

anyway you are so correct ARHJHKS pathetic autistic lesbian who grew up alienated from her peers bc she was "weird" and ppl didn't wanna be friends with her....until zoey came along and actually tolerated her (used her) and turned her into a dog basically.

she'd do anything for zoey....anything..........they are so homoerotic codependent friendship coded. zoey is MOST DEFINITELY in love with hailey but in like a very unhealthy "my feelings for you make me look weak so i need to make you weak by treating you like this" (plus zoey is just a bitch to everyone in general)

and hailey just takes it. bc she admires zoey so much. like she canonically sees her as a mentor. even though they're likely the same age. and yes yes she is in love with zoey because who wouldn't be. who wouldn't fucking fall for the only person who ever like. talked to her. who sings so well and acts so well and controls every room she enters. who has the power over people hailey could only dream to have one day......and also she's SO hot

NOW. THOUGH. it is canon that they have a third roommate. what if i told you it was greenpeace girl herself - harmony jones. (not canon. not even hinted at)

i just think. harmony is soo passionate about the environment. passionate in general. also autistic. good at masking though. but takes no shit. she's the first person zoey can't manipulate or degrade and it SUCKS. she's like 5'10 to me and basically towers over zoey of she's wearing her huge thrifted black boots. and it makes her so flustered and SO angry

and like. it is pretty funny to intimidate hatchetfield's favorite knockoff regina george. zoey passes her in the hallway and actually has to look up to meet harmony's dumb stupid sparkly gorgeous eyes......and harmony just smirks.........and zoey like. regains her composure. tears her eyes away and hisses "get out of my way" and practically sprints to her room. slams the door. and harmony calls after her "sorry princess" and zoey is so angry and flustered she bites a pillow not to scream

hailey and harmony are soo special too. harmony sees hailey, because she's willing to. she likes listening to her ramble. she likes seeing her happy & not constantly hiding herself in fear of being abandoned again. she is soooo down bad for hailey she'd do anything for her.

sounds like a pretty weird roommate dynamic right. WRONG. polyamory beam.

hailey looks at harmony like she carries the stars in her eyes. harmony looks at her the same. zoey is added into this and feels a little out of place. for the FIRST TIME in her life, zoey chambers feels out of place.

hailey and harmony make a huge effort though. because they are also still very much down bad for this bitch.

harmony just has like.....zoey on a leash. a mean lesbian with an even meaner lesbian on a leash. zoey eventually leans into it. her new role of being harmony's pretty princess........

she starts being less cruel to hailey. she's still like a bitch, that's just in her nature, but there's sweetness to it.....she makes an effort to learn stuff about hailey. hobbies and favorite musicals and all that. she learns that hailey can actually be kinda sorta cool (in a lame way) if she's not constantly biting her tongue.

staring at you really hard like a cat. they (you) could never make me hate you zazz haileydilmore.

i am actually really obsessed with 'in love with her, but not as an equal'. princess and handmaid coded. fondness but its buried under so much scorn. you Could tell her. and it'd probably make her more devoted. but she'd already do anything for you, so why give her that leverage?

there's this specific feeling some people (especially like. popular hot girls. lol) give you where they make you feel important. like. just by being around you, by deeming you worth their time, they're calling you special. even if they aren't actually being nice to you. unspoken affection of letting you stay close to them. it's like a really fun addictive feeling and i think hailey is always chasing that from zoey

harmony teaching hailey that she deserves so so much better than how zoey treats her.......i don't think that would be immediate but it would be like. a slow build-up of being less and less comfortable w/ zoey's demands before she finally flat-out refuses to do something. probably with a "you aren't even nice to me, zoey. I don't think you ever have been."

i think....zoey hates seeing harmony and hailey happy together at all it makes her So Mad because she had hailey first. and she's been stolen. by what? being kind??

the Entire Time zoey is ruminating on this harmony and hailey are both trying to kind of invite her in and be like hey we arent mad at you we should probably all talk (The Polyamory Talk™. zoey does not know this i dont think). but zoey is both upset/jealous and maybe a little tiny bit worried that she'll fuck up whatever they have. because she does maybe feel the littlest bit bad about hurting hailey. a little bit. because there is actually something nice about this happier, more confident, more assertive hailey. maybe she feels a miniscule amount of guilt that she was the reason she was miserable for so long.

they do finally ask her out and shes so out of her element waugh......because yeah harmony has her whipped.

+ ur so right zoey is never nice, persay, but harmony definitely dulls some of her edges and she's a lot more able to say things with affection rather than spite. and harmony's reign ushers in clear communication (or else), so when zoey has issues with hailey there is no more passive-aggressive comments that leave her spiralling

ugh i think zoey wld still snap at hailey sometimes and harmony always mediates.....theres something kind of fun about hamony being a protector. maybe zoey feels a little left out sometimes because of this, like she's the third or the spare or the least wanted. not a feeling shes used to! of course they reassure her that this is not true. but maybe she makes a bit more of an effort with her temper, anyways. you understand

[mrsnancywheeler]

OKAY SO-

You said onetime that Finnick and sweet girl have major hadestown vibes and that’s so real!!! (That literature paper I wrote that was around 4,000 was actually about hadestown! I was writing about the contemporary political themes and love)

The sudden way Finnick went to talk to her for the first time reminds me so much of “come home with me” and overall their love story reminds me of “all I’ve ever known” because of just how much they’re like “the world is shit but when I’m with you everything is okay” yk? And Finnick is so Orpheus, willing to risk everything for Eurydice.

ALSO!!! Sweet girl reminds me of “flowers” specifically after the capitol took her after the quarter quell. I mean the whole song takes place when Eurydice can’t remember Orpheus but all she can’t remember is the feeling of safety, the feeling of belonging,

I could talk about hadestown all day (my original draft was 5,000 words) , and I could talk about the lakes all day

-🌾anon

YES YES YES I've be wanting to fully explore this so buckle up guys this is a long ride, ily so much pookie bc I've missed your thoughts while I've been sick 😭

(also that as an essay topic is so real and I bet it was absolutely amazing)

starting off with all I've ever known because it is so absolutely them in every sense of the song

"this is how it's always been, all I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too." finnick only has people he perceives as fair weather friends or those who use him, but then there's her and suddenly he doesn't have to worry about that. and she's so used to masking, protecting herself but then there's him, all she longs for.

we know sweet girl is always cold and finnick is the warmth to contrast that, her sun to keep her from freezing "you take me in your arms, suddenly there's sunlight all around me, everything bright and warm and shining like it never did before and for a moment I forget just how dark and cold it gets."

"now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. now I wanna hold you, hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life." both of them longing for each other's touch, presence, the release found in being with one another

readers anxiety about not being worthy and deserving suffering is so, "I don't know how or why. who am I, that I should get to hold you?"

and finnick knowing she's the one before they've even really spoken, he just knows it's right is so, "it's like I'd known you all along, I knew you before we met and I don't even know you yet. all I know's you're someone I have always known."

and him and his sweet girl as the back in forth at the end, chef's kiss perfect

"say that you'll hold me forever. say that the wind won't change on us. say that we'll stay with each other and it will always be like this." with her never ending anxieties

"I'm gonna hold you forever, the wind will never change on us. long as we stay with each other, then it will always be like this." as finnick trying to reassure his sweet girl.

side bar to a line in hey, little songbird that always makes me think of her when she's trying to differentiate reality from lies in the Capitol

"suddenly nothing is as it was. where are you now, orpheus? wasn't it gonna be the two of us, weren't we birds of a feather?"

moving onto flowers which is so her

"dreams are sweet until they're not. men are kind, until they aren't. flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart." the dream of being with finnick getting her through the games versus the reality of winning and what that took. the trafficking faced in the capitol AND when conway turned on her, playing into the romantic facade in the end. her when she was young, become a husk of that.

and then the feeling when she's in the Capitol and can't verbalize how she's feeling, she just needs people to know because it's all too much. she doesn't want to be unreadable, she longs to be herself again but isn't quite there yet.

"is anybody listening? I open my mouth and nothing comes out. nothing. nothing gonna wake me now."

then out of all the negative, twisted memories, the positive anecdotes she does have. and the way she's so scared but still longs for finnick regardless.

"flowers, I remember fields of flowers, soft beneath my heels. walking in the sun, I remember someone, someone by my side turned his face to mine."

"you, the one I left behind. if you ever walk this way, come and find me lying in the bed I made."

AND FINNICK IS JUST SO WAIT FOR ME CODED

"wait for me, I'm coming. wait, I'm coming with you. wait for me, I'm coming too." like he so desperately wanted to instantly go back to the capitol and save her or just be with her that he was stuck in a constant state of sedation when they refused to let him.

"that town'll try to suck you dry. they'll suck your brain, they'll suck your breath, they'll pluck your heart right out of your chest." the lengths he's willing to go, the trials he'll endure for her

a small time to flash back to wedding song because on a fluffier note it's so a back and forth between them

sweet girl is so "lover, tell me if you can, who's gonna buy the wedding bands? times being what they are, hard and getting harder all the time."

and the ever reassuring finnick "lover, when I sing my song, all the rivers will sing along. and they're gonna break their banks for us and with their gold be generous. all a-flashing in the pan, all to fashion for your hand, the rivers gonna give us the wedding bands."

okay and the way reader views herself and what Snow manipulation to hijack her, and how they always mention fate is tearing them apart is very akin to when the chips are down.

"help yourself, to hell with the rest, even the one who loves you best."

"what you gonna do when the chips are down? now that the chips are down. " " oh, my aching heart."

"ain't nobody but yourself to trust"

"aim for the heart, shoot to kill. if you don't do it then the other one will."

"cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back. nobody's righteous, nobody's proud, nobody's innocent, now that the chips are down"

AND PROMISES like finnick trying to work them back though what the Capitol did to her and she's so desperate to be herself again even if she's struggling. and he's trying but he uncertain on how to do it especially since this isn't the future he necessarily envisioned for them.

(in a sweet girl then finnick line set up)

"let's go, let's go right now"

"okay, let's go. how?"

"we'll walk, you know the way. we'll just come back the way you came."

"it's a long road, it's a long walk. back into the cold and dark. are you sure you wanna go?"

"take me home."

"I have no ring for your finger, I have no banquet table to lay, I have no bed of feathers, whatever promises I made. I can't promise you fair sky above, I can't promise you kind road below, but I'll walk beside you love. anyway the wind blows."

"I don't need gold or silver. just bread when I'm hungry, fire when I'm cold. don't need a ring for my finger, just a steady hand to hold...just walk beside me love, anyway the wind blows"

and both of them "do you let me walk with you? I do. I do. and keep on walking come what will? I will. I will. we will."

this is all for now because it's so long but they're literally them and I'm convinced this is just one of the lessons they've learned in a past life when he turned around. so now he's learning to trust in this life.

and as evident so can I lmao 😭 I'm glad we're on the same page though. love you 💋

[kairiscorner]

HII CAN I REQUEST NOIR X FILIPINO READER

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES PO MAHAL KONG ANON <333 i'll make this like the previous x filipino readers, but if you babes want, i could even try making a whole ass fic about it :DD

(btw this'll be in the same time period as noir, 1930's, so if you want modern hcs too just hmu <3)

okokok now, hear me out...

he wears barong tagalogs more often around you. like, okay, if we're talking about 1930's philippines, i think he'd FUCKING DIE OF HEATSTROKE IN THAT DARK OVERCOAT AND FEDORA MATCHUP OK, he wears barong tagalogs instead bc they're light, airier, and ofc, to respect your culture :>

he was surprised to hear how well the people speak english, bc if i remember correctly, a lot of filipinos were taught how to speak english before tagalog, even in that time period. if you weren't that well-versed in english, NO PROBLEM, HE WOULD GLADLY SPEND HOURS OF HIS TIME READING, WRITING, AND LISTENING TO, AND PRACTICING TAGALOG AND/OR YOUR LOCAL DIALECT FOR YOU <333

he was a little iffy about the foods at first, like specifically dinuguan when he heard it was from pig's blood, but he came to like the colorfulness of filipino dishes and how good they really are the moment he tried them.

why do i think his favorites would be BOTH sinigang AND adobo? like if he was asked which one he liked better, he'd just go silent and say, "...well neither are purple so i think both are good options," LIKE HE DON'T BELIEVE IN FEUDING OVER THEM, BOTH ARE GOOD AS FUCK

oh and when he courts you............ WHEN HE COURTS YOUUUUU, he fr going up to the nearest manong and asking how to play a simple love song as he sneaks glances at you by your window, gazing out but not at him, the blush creeping up on his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears, LIKEEEEE

he'd spend days practicing how to harana you, HE'D HIRE A WHOLE ASS BAND FOR YOU IF YOU WANTED A GRAND, BIG GESTURE OF LOVE, but even on his own, he is AMAZING at singing and playing the guitar (you cannot take this headcanon away from me, he can play.)

and when the carinosa comes on at a party or a gathering you two are at, HE WASTES NO TIME IN EXTENDING HIS HAND TOWARDS YOU AND ASKING YOU IF YOU WANNA DANCE

"aking pinakaminamahal... maari bang isayaw kita ngayong gabi?" (shit sana tama grammar ko SORRY PERO YOU GET IT)

AND WHEN HE'S MOVING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO YOU BUT NOT HOLDING YOU YET DURING THE DANCE, HIS SMILE GETS WIDER, YOU NOTICE HE HAS DIMPLESSS

the way the corners of his lips curls when he smiles as he sneaks glances at you, wishing he could hold you as he courts you through dance, the way he blushes and how his eyes shine when he stares into yours, THE DORKY CHUCKLES HE LETS OUT AS HE WATCHES YOU TEASE HIM WITH THE FAN MOVEMENTS >>>>>

then afterwards, he takes you in his arms, holds you close, and asks you, "ano, mahal, ayos ba?" he asks with a slight accent as he blushes a bright red, hoping to kiss you right here, right now, to declare to your family and friends how much he loves you and wants to be yours

a/n: tangina binalikan ko pa mga carinosa steps BWHAHAAHA PERO KICKING MY FEET, GIGGLING, TWIRLING MY HAIR, SCREAMING I LOVE HIM <333

tags !! @thecoolerdor

[gaypolls]

ok i just said it doesn't really bother me but i do wanna rant a little bc it's SO insane to claim that you're only a real homosexual if you've never felt an ounce of attraction to ANYONE but your own gender... as though True Attraction is easily defined and quantifiable for everyone? as though gendered attraction is in and of itself something that involves some essence of other people's genders or whatever and not just what you percieve???

think of how many twinks have mistaken for butches and vice versa lmao. is everyone involved in those funny little mixups not a real gay anymore? hell, what about gay people in the closet who can't quite accept their attraction to their own gender yet but their "type" of the "appropriate" gender is effeminate guys/tomboys? if someone wants to enter the gay identity do they absolutely HAVE to renounce all past attraction to the "opposite" gender as fake? why? says who? why would it not be enough to say "i'm significantly happier and feel more natural embracing attraction to, and being with, my own gender"?

like yeah, personally, i do deem the attraction that i used to think i had for women as fake. but i'm an incredibly self-aware and self-analytical and generally In My Head person. i can look in there and see the throughline and know the exact reason i thought i liked girls, and hell, i can even remember the conscious thoughts i had where i was forcing myself to feel it. but i do NOT expect everyone to be the same?? like that would be insane. if everyone was as self-aware as me, specifically. that's not healthy lol.

but anyway, on that same vein, repression and the closet are seriously powerful things. there may have been a layer of conscious attempt to be masculine in the mix, but when i was 16 and searching for things to appreciate in girls' appearances and, because i was trying so hard, sometimes finding them, and acheiving that abstract feeling of attraction that i was looking for... would it really be SO insane if i now wanted to say that yes, i have been attracted to women, and i just got over it?

when i say that i'm not attracted to women now, that doesn't even mean that i have never been attracted to a single woman. it means that womanhood and femininity does not inherently appeal to me. that's where "exceptions" come in - it's literally not that deep. it's when you recognize that you're feeling something, and maybe you're unsure but it seems at least attraction-adjacent, but it's not related to the prerequisite of gender that's usually on your capacity for attraction; it's in spite of it. i have to imagine that the majority of the time when this happens, it's because the person is in fact somewhat androgynous, or some part of you percieved this person as the gender you do like when you weren't conscious of it, or there's some aspect of their appearance that has the right gendered "energy" to you. and sometimes people just look really fucking interesting, or people are just excpetionally beautiful, and it hits you so hard that it seems like attraction but you're really just in a brief moment of awe! sometimes you just enter the cosmic soup for a second!

and feeling superior about having never had this happen to you is... well, it's just that, isn't it? it's purely about feeling superior. i honestly don't even believe that it's truly the case for that one person. i feel like the internal need to say shit like that has got to come from an insecurity about the fact that you're not that "true homosexual" that you're claiming deserves to never be implied to have things in common with all other gay people.

furthermore... the notion of it being homophobic to identify as gay when you're "not 100% internally homosexual"? well i mean obviously that's the terf shit. it's the braindead idea that other people's identities take anything away from you. as if anyone actually identifies as gay "when they're actually bi" just for fun and not because their "straight" attraction is extremely incidental and/or just does not preclude actually acting on it... like duh, lol. and even if it was for fun, it literally still takes nothing. it's a completely imaginary danger.

and it's so batshit in particular bc going out of your way to harass other gay people and tell them they're not gay is objectively the fucking homophobic thing??? like how on earth do you see yourself as the better person here. christ lol

[fagsystem]

literally can't fucking stand anti-endos. no i also don't find anything in common with plurals who don't have cdds, but actually i don't really care what someone thinks their origin is if they have did/osdd

YES it is misinformation that it can form without trauma. YES misinformation is harmful! dyou wanna know who it harms? THE PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY HAVE CDDS WITHOUT TRAUMA

but the thing is, its just so fucking cruel to act like someone's existence and how they talk about it is an attack on the CDD community. i actually think that its far more fucking harmful for you to drive out CDD systems for self iding as endo than for them to self id as endo

'but if theyre endo they dont have a cdd' WRONG. you are focused on the WRONG THING. most people who are endogenic cdd systems ive seen are fully fucking diagnosed

endo cdd systems do exist because they fucking do. because there's cdd systems out there who call themselves endogenic. and thats their business!

the facts that these people are worthy of respect and community with fellow cdd systems and that you cant have a cdd without trauma coexist.

i think it'd be a lot better for everyone if instead, say, having a 'traumagenics only' (as in, cdd systems who id as traumageic, bc traumagenic doesnt actually mean cdd) discord server, youd have a discord server that is for pwCDDs and it is openly stated that the opinion of the server is that cdds are inherently traumagenic. rules that saying otherwise is misinformation and discussion of that is not allowed there.

it wouldnt actually change much of anything other than itd fucking help the people who are harmed by the misinfo that cdds can happen without trauma. bc guess what? all youre doing is driving them into the spaces with the misinformation. YOU are making the problem worse

if an endo cdd system sees that and goes 'i dont think i have trauma, but i do have a cdd and want community with others with the same disorder' then THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED IT.

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

THEIR FUCKING DISORDER DOESNT GO ANYWHERE IF THEY CALL THEMSELVES ENDO

I COULD WAKE UP TOMORROW AND GO 'ACTUALLY I DONT THINK I HAVE TRAUMA' OR EVEN 'I THINK MY PLURALITY PREDATES MY DID SO THEREFORE IM AN ENDO SYSTEM' AND IT WOULDNT CHANGE SHIT ABOUT MY FUCKING DID

you're just creating the worst most hostile community where either people need to be fortunate enough to be educated on the topic already OR they are exiled from all cdd specific spaces ever

JUST FUCKIGN

I HATE HOW YOU MFS TALK ABOUT SYSCOURSE

I JUST WANT TO INTERACT WITH THE CDD COMMUNITY. BECAUSE I HAVE THAT. I DONT RELATE TO THE WIDER PLURAL COMMUNITY. BUT ISTG THERES NO FUCKING CDD SPECIFIC SPACES WITHOUT IT BEING A SYSCOURSE THING. FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE THE IDEA OF ASSOCIATING ENDOS WITH CDDS YOU SURE DO BUILD YOUR ENTIRE COMMUNITY BUILT AROUND CONVERSATIONS RELATED TO THEM