#yes this is about The Witcher

[whitetyger123]

Could we for once have a fight with a fully armored opponent that doesn't make their plate mail look like wet tissue paper please? Where it actually shows as a barrier to swords and other weapons? Where maybe the best way to kill them is to fight them to the ground and then take a dagger and dig it between plates? Instead of slashing across their fully armored chest and having them go down? Please?

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

Listen, I understand that "they changed it, now it sucks" is the battle cry of the internet.

But if you're writing an listicle about why a tv show is bad compared to its source books... (I am going to write a counter-list of the issues with common complaints but it's too long, so now it's under a cut. The short version is "you need to remember it's a different type of storytelling, you're boring, and I hate you.")

1) If you complain about storylines being cut or changed, or potentially being cut that are about rape and/or incest...you're gross. And creepy. And I don't trust you or your opinions on anything.

2) If your complaints are about character changes are that they are more outwardly ambitious instead of secretive and scheming, consider the fact that books have the ability to portray internal thought processes and decision-making, tv has to show it visually and ideally without weird omniscient narration. So a character may be doing the same scheming, it just looks bolder/less secretive. Also if you have 80 characters who are all scheming schemers who quadruple-cross each other, it gets confusing and hard to follow, even in a book. In a show with limited time, plotlines get streamlined and some of those 80 characters stop playing the long game.

3) If you complain that characters are less sure, somber, level-headed, strategic etc. than their book counterparts, consider again that the tv can't show their internal thoughts, so being outwardly expressive suits the medium. Also, many of these characters are starting at different points of their story, and character growth is interesting and relatable. Also also, a show full of just somber, cold, strategic men and level-headed self-assured women is frankly Boring. (A book is too, but at least with internal reflection you can add more depth and variety so it isn't unsalvageable.)

4) If you complain about secondary characters being cut or having their storylines given to others, think about the practicality of scripting, casting, filming all of those side things, who never appear again. It's not practical. TV shows have a limited time, audiences have a limited attention span.

5) If you are upset about storylines being changed or replaced by entirely new ones, ask yourself "was the original one convoluted, difficult to follow, nearly identical to another storyline, or only tangentially connected to the main characters and plot?" if the answer is yes, there's a good reason for it getting altered. Cohesion and focus are essential to storytelling, especially when you have a limited amount of time and resources to work with. Unfortunately, most shows are not syndicated daytime tv soap operas that run for 40 years and can tell an evil twin, amnesia, or surprise return from the dead story every three seasons (I'm being generous to say they wait that long).

[blooms-in-april]

In Oxenfurt there is a sacred tradition, which no one dares encroach upon: no one can be arrested during a theatre performance. And the scholars of Oxenfurt, for all their learning, are a dramatic, suspicious sort, and so the law stands. It's been taken advantage of by many a drunk and disorderly student, taking refuge in the audience of the Grand Theatre to evade the guard, until inevitably, the curtain falls and their reprieve is over.

When they come to arrest Professor Pankrantz, his students won't have it. He had come back to them quiet and broken this winter, more careless with his dissent, more bold in his defiance. He did not seem to care when the warrant was put out for his arrest, as an elvish sympathizer, a sodomite, and a conspirator against Nilfgaard.

"He knows the White Wolf will save him. He always does." Essi had said with false confidence, but the weeks pass and the university's protection wanes and the White Wolf does not come.

"He's not coming." Adrien whispers, hunched over his songbook. "We must do something."

"We will," Essi responds.

When he hears the guards outside his office, Jaskier puts down his quill for the last time. He swings open the door.

"Gentlemen!" He says. The armored faces are featureless, unmoving. "How would you like me?" They grab and cuff him hard across the head, then frogmarch him down the hall. His head rings like a great bell tolling the hour. He can feel the blood trickling out his ear.

There is a great crash, and a scuffle, and a large hand grabs him by the elbow. "Geralt." He whispers.

But it's not. Jeremiah smiles awkwardly, and holds his dented tuba in one hand. "I used to be a blacksmith before this." The quiet youth says. "Never thought it would come in handy again."

"My dear boy." Jaskier says as he's pulled along. "You shouldn't have. You saved my life."

"Your tutoring saved mine during finals. I think we're even, Professor."

Jaskier is hurried in through the backstage door, crowded with students carrying instruments, costumes, sheet music, and props. They all part way to let him through. "Top box, Professor." Essi says, hurrying him. "We saved it just for you."

He sits down, bewildered, as the guards shout outside and the orchestra tunes frantically. The curtain opens just as the guards make it into the auditorium. Everything hushes in that special breath before a show.

Essi steps on stage.

"Thank you and welcome to the members of the Oxenfurt Academy faculty, staff, and student body who have come to support this performance," she says. "We'd also like to welcome representatives of various law enforcement communities who have chosen to join us in the Academy Grand Theatre tonight. In the spirit of the arts, leave all discord at the door, and please enjoy this special performance by the students of Oxenfurt - 'The Adversities of Loving', a tribute to the life and works of Professor Julian Alfred Pankrantz."

She bows. The audience applauds. The play begins.

[naumaxia-art]

Long Live King Radovid

[chocochipclaire]

deeply obsessed over this regis concept art twitter found ft.

[swearingcactus]

ever since i heard this audio i always thought it'd fit rogue and lil v so here's to all the mom rogue enjoyers. a sequel of sorts to [this post]

[tschulijulesjulie]

soooo its implied that Radovid is a bit of a Jaskier fanboy... does that mean... he might have thought about the continent equivalent of Geraskier fanfic? can you imagine him and Geralt finally meeting and Radovid going absolute batsgit against Geralt because "HE MIGHT HAVE FORGIVEN YOU BUT I HAVE NOT AND NOW BURN BUTCHER BURN!!!"

And Geralt is so confused because theres this... wet-rat-ish looking.. prince? ... literally trying to thow hands at him?

And Yen and Ciri are in the background simply losing it, doubling over laughing.

and Jaskier? Jaskier is. well, he's not used to NOT being the most unhinged person around.

[asmolbirb]

had a geraskier snippet squirreled away in a notebook under the heading "the worst version" but it's actually not half bad, so please take this tiny drabble while i avoid all the other fic i want to be writing:

Jaskier looks up at the night sky, distracted from whatever task he'd been assigned. "Stars above," he marvels, and chuckles. "D'you get it, Geralt? There's stars above us, and--" The laughter in his voice is swept away by admiration. "And stars above, the stars above us are breathtaking."

There's no response from Geralt, aside from a shift of fabric. It's as likely that Geralt's scratching an itch as admiring the glimmering beadwork curtain hanging over them.

Jaskier doesn't bother to check. Instead his eyes rove from pale dot to twinkling jewel. He's never been an adept with a star chart, but there are some patterns that even the smallest children can recognize. Sure enough, there to the right, he spots a skewed box, with another bright star shimmering some distance away.

"The sailors," he recites, half to himself. He sketches the shape of constellation, on the off-chance that Geralt is indulging him. "Look, that's their ship, there, and that star hanging above marks the sail."

A noncommittal grunt from Geralt. Jaskier chooses to interpret the lack of admonishment as encouragement to continue.

"Who do you think decided those were sailors?" he muses. "Perhaps some unlucky band of bastards being buffeted about by the waves, seeking the kinship amongst the cosmos. If the hunters had gotten there first, do you think they'd have called it the Archer instead?"

"Your neck will cramp if you keep craning it like that," Geralt rumbles. "Come bank the fire."

"Ah, right you are, Geralt, the darkness will make it easier to spot the fainter constellations!"

"Make it easier to fall asleep, too," Geralt mutters, but Jaskier can't help noticing, later, that Geralt doesn't start snoring until long after Jaskier is done pointing out star pictures in the sky.

[grahamcore]

if you’ve read a metric ton of fanfiction and had your memory of canon retroactively altered you may be entitled to financial compensation

[not-your-bro]

geralt's inner monologue being like "yennefer yennefer yennefer" when the mages at the banquet read his mind is so funny. no thoughts just yen. the fantasy equivalent of walking into a party of people you don't know like WHATS UP EVERYBODY I LOVE MY WIFE

[spielzeugkaiser]

Didn't know if I was still in time, but what about Necromancer!Jaskier after the flowers comics experiencing his first Yule with the others? 🥺💓

[MASTERPOST] - They are celebrating at Kaer Morhen! Jaskier still tries to get into Geralts pants, but it's just not working...

[blooms-in-april]

Obsessed with the idea it's illegal in Oxenfurt to execute or arrest someone while there is a theatre performance going on. So when Jaskier is finally arrested for being the Sandpiper and an associate of the fugitive Geralt of Rivia, all his students band together to perform the longest musical the Continent has ever seen.

Yes, it's about his life. Yes, it's very personal. And yes, fugitive Geralt and Ciri end up in the audience, of course they do.

[aster-skies]

Knowledge never sleeps

[dailyau]

Turns out your animal companion is actually your child/friend/partner that was cursed and now I get why you’re so protective AU

- (ANON)

[hanzajesthanza]

also i realize i'm saying all these noble and beautiful things about the channel from the purest depths of my heart. but actually i'm also just doing this because i fucking love the witcher books and it pisses me off that people don't know about them that much in english and i can only go for so long (seven years) with people not knowing that there are books. or that the witcher is from the 90s. or polish.

[patroclusdefencesquad]

twn is so funny because they'll write amazing scenes like jaskier singing about burning all his memories of geralt because they're too painful for him to even think about and then him literally being tortured for those memories of geralt. and then they'll turn around and write whatever the voleth meir shit was