#yes this has been posted several time tumblr keeps deleting it

[mothmanavenue]

threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter now

[moonbakeries]

HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE IN A WEEK

BACKSTORY

So I decided to fully immerse myself in "persisting" and fulfilling when I listened to Lonely one by LOVA because I spent around an hour just sobbing because I related to the song.

the week that I started was around Easter break and I was under the most amount of stress I have ever been through and I could see it the effects on my body

I was breaking out with huge pimples even though I was on accutane, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a day every week for 2 weeks, my period had going on for 2 weeks, I was losing weight rapidly (was under 35kg:( ) my anxiety was at an all time high because I got harassed again(sexual assault victim). I used to have severe depression and have had multiple failed attempts of suicide. AND YES I WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK TO MANIFEST THIS DREAM LIFE OF MINE WHICH IS NO LONGER A DREAM

in the mornings I would be super anxious but I learned how to deal with it and get myself into the state super easily

HOW I DID IT

I GOT OFF TUMBLR: you know how many times I doubted myself only to realise I was doing everything right

I also read and listened to Edward Art MULTIPLE TIMES

Within a week of fulfilling and persisting, I had manifested my dream life. just like that. I woke up one morning and everything I had ever desired was right there. and it was super easy.

all I did was affirm(to remind not to get), visualise and feel. I would only do these methods if I wanted to, if I didn't I wouldn't.

Within a few days, the anxiety lessened so much and it started to feel natural. 

this was a question on Bambi's " how I manifested with hard circumstances " post which has now been sadly deleted but I remember copying this because it gave me hope at the time I copied it (don't hope, just know)

"But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?” you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track.  I rant for 2% of my 24 hour days. The other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and I felt more at ease. I held onto that feeling because I knew this was when I would get my desires and I did."

and that was when I knew I shouldn't give up and I just kept going even when I wanted myself to just get on tumblr and overconsume 

I actually nearly decided to see what I was "doing wrong". I clicked on one of Aphrodite's posts but I didn't read it. I just asked myself if I would look through it if I had my desires and I wouldn't and since I already have all of my desires I didn't.

Whenever the anxiety was too strong and I could feel the frustration and desperation building up, I would just rant and it helped me calm down and get back into the state super easily.

why?

because STATES MANIFEST THOUGHTS DON'T

which is why you can rant.

you know how many FUCKING DOUBTS I had, but I didn't even give them attention coz they didn't deserve any and how many times I wanted to just give up, but I was like NO, STFU, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MISERABLY ANYMORE and now I'm not :)

The affirmations I used:

It is done

I am living my dream life

I am in my desired reality

The 3d will conform as long as i keep persisting

Imagination is the real reality

I also daydreamed, but since imagination is the real reality they were real

WHAT I MANIFESTED

- desired appearance

- name change

- family change

- skills (drivers licence etc)

- apartment and furniture

- wealth

- a bunch of random materialistic things

- desired friend group (I absolutely love them!)

- desired uni and always getting good grades

- outfits from pinterest

and a bunch of other things

- I also ended up manifesting an sp without even knowing and he's pretty much I everything I scripted him to be(scripted a year ago because I didn't really care for a relationship) but this happened before I manifested my dream life

after a year and half of being on loablr I finally manifested my dream life. and you can too

(there was probably over 100 things I wanted but I realised what I want is not much, nothing ever is when you know about loa and yes, i was super desperate)

you don't need anymore information other than @angelsinluv states post and fulfillment challenge

you shouldn't ever be stressed or worried while manifesting whatever you want, because you wouldn't stress if you had it

TAKE YOUR TIME

YOU GOT THIS

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I am I the asshole for telling someone what they were doing was "mean spirited and cruel"?

(submitted this a while back but was never posted - don't know if tumblr ate it or if it broke a rule, but i'm sorry if its the latter)

My complex has a facebook page where residents can post questions or concerns to other residents. One day a woman posted asking if we could move the food bowls where people feed the feral cat colony that lives near us because when she walks her dogs they always lunge at the cats; she had just had surgery and it hurt when they pulled on the leash. Someone responded saying they had moved the bowls down and that seemed like that.

Two days later she posted again saying that our "kind and caring neighbor" (her) had called someone to come pick up the cats. From another comment on the post it seemed like she had talked to someone IRL who was rude and basically told her "I've been feeding the cats for 10 years fuck off" and then called animal control immediately after that.

This felt really petty to me, and I posted saying that calling animal control on the cats was "mean spirited and cruel". I explained that almost all feral cats taken in are put down, and that she was making a decision about the community's cats without consulting the community. I added that I was sorry she had been hurting since her surgery, but that there were other steps she should have taken before this.

She responded that I needed to have more compassion for her as she herself was very compassionate and caring person. To which I responded that she should then extend that compassion to these cats that had never hurt anyone. (Seriously, they just chill around our complex and eat rats – they’ve never scratched or bit any person or animal)

She responded that they hurt her “fur babies” everyday because they make her dogs pull at their leashes and choke themselves. She then went on a rant about how she didn’t understand why people weren’t respecting her anger and that since she lived here she had a right to want the cats gone. She also mentioned that calling her “mean spirited and cruel” had racial connotations and that I wouldn’t call a white person that.

Important context, I am a white woman – up until this point I had not realized that she was a black woman as this argument was in a facebook group and the pictures were small. But it is very possible this is something I saw and internalized without consciously recognizing it.

I was really thrown by this, and just replied yes, I would and that I’m sorry it hurt to hear, but that is what her actions were. (Which, yeah, nobody ever not in the racist category uses the ‘I’d say that to anyone!’ excuse, but I truly didn’t know what to say). She continued to respond to my comment saying how I was a pitiful person if I’d really call anyone that, and that I hadn’t addressed any of her other points.

More people where commenting at the same time on this post, and while she responded to all of them my “mean spirited and cruel” comment apparently really got her because she kept bringing it up in arguments with other people. She really felt that people were being unjustifiably angry and mean to her for something she thought she had a right to do.

It also came out that she had apparently posted complaining about the cats the day before but it had gotten so out of hand the post was deleted before I could see it. She had also gotten into several arguments IRL with people feeding the cats. This explains why she felt so ganged up on I suppose – though none of this I knew before replying.

The next day she specifically made a new post calling out racists in our community and tagged me and few other people (even other POC) who had disagreed with her about the cats. I didn’t respond, but fairly quickly that and the post from before were deleted.

I’ve been really trying to think about if my internalized racism did unknowingly influence my actions, but I honestly keep coming back to the fact that I think I would have said the same to anyone who tried to get a cat colony killed because her dogs try to attack them.

Also for those curious – the cat colony is still here! It turns out removing a cat colony from their home is actually considered animal cruelty and is illegal in this state

What are these acronyms?

[yanderefairyangel]

I don't like doing this... and I was really seriously debating on whether or not I should do this ( and I really hope this time it's the last I ever have to) but

This blog has been running for quite sometime in tumblr, about a month if my memory is right. However, this blog had very.... very weird takes

Notably anti Brodian one. But then, I checked something in the AITA blog and found.. this

This blog, whose first post is a submit to the account about shipping regarding Alear and the Fell twins of the Xenologue. And then

This blog reblogged it. Except they aren't claiming to be a side account as you can clearly tell. Now, I don't like accusing someone, however I find it very strange that scrolling both blog, not only do they have the same way to express themselves and typing quirck but both blog's first post was an entry to that AITA blog.

Do you see what I mean by "same way of typing" ? Well, that's not all. After searching, I realize that the blog they reblogged "femalealeartruther" used to be active as well

For people already aware, I already pointed out that this person was the same as chaotic flower and timerra lover, two blog that became infamous for championing the idea that F!Alear is the "true canon one" and on hating M!Alear. Evidence as follow :

I really dislike saying that but after checking the blog of aleardivine dragonmonarch, I realized they answered in the same way as THIS blog to ask they receive

The same way they answered to a blog reblogging them and this time with the femalealeartruther account

And again. Those blog all have deactivated.

As I explained I have several reason to believe that not only is femalealeartruther the same person as aleardivinedragonmonarch, but also that they are the same person as timeralover and thus with chaoticflower.

Yes, the same blog who in the right order :

claimmed you were bing racist if you didn't like Timerra's singing

claimmed that Timerra and Fogado aren't popular because people are racist

Hate constantly on Brodia and try to villify it by any means and hate Alcryst in particular

Was being rude towards fanfic authors

Insist on shipping Alcryst with F!Alear even though they hate him

Call anyone who prefer M!Alear over F!Alear sexist

Admitted to have stolen an idea of fanfic for an Alearcryst fic that was shared on Discord and trying to make belive it was their idea first

Have apparently lied on their age multiple times

The thing is that each time they claimmed to be a different person who had nothing to with the person who deleted their account... despite the obvious

Each time they come back with a new obsession and a new way to stir out drama and this time, it's because they dont like the fact that they dislike seeing Alear being shipped with Nel or Rafal and won't block or mute the ship instead they tried to prove that this ship is "problematic" (which imo when you do that it's not a good look for you at all ngl it come across as controlling and mean spirited)

Also, I should say it right away but chaotic flower has apparently displayed such behaviour in other fandom such as genshin and twisted wonderland

I could be wrong but again I find it very strange that several account that hates Brodia, claim F!Alear is the canon one, hates M!Alear ship Alearcryst, insist that the Fell twins are Alear's sibling because of an headcanon and express themselves in the very same manner and keep intereacting with the AITA blog with it always being their FIRST post and regularly hosting polls to test which of F!Alear or M!Alear people prefer would all be run by completely different people.

Also.. again, searching, I realized that a lot of the reblogs that were taking side of OP were having the exact same type quirk and scrolling through their blog there is none to little content which are limited to intereaction with the AITA blog and rebloging from the same blog as aleardivinedragonmonarch and weird captions such as never mentionning which is their main account and all

The last one I am SURE I saw the account femalealeartruther at SOME point reply with the exact same arguments.

If somehow they are different person, then this must be one heck of a coincidence

What does Op says ? They are denying it

However I am clearly not the only one who noticed it

(so yeah they kept spamming the inbox of the blog with Alear related ask and F!Alear in particular)

(all of this because of ship I just can't-)

Keep in mind that those are just several thing I noticed and I am kinda worried to see that this person keeps comming back with a new identity pretending to be a different person and well, cause drama.

Also, OP if you read this. Again, I must reiterate. You are welcome in this fandom as long as you STOP doing this sheet right here. That's just baffling that each time you make a blog and then deactivate it all to come back with a new obsession. And each time you pretend to be someone else. Why can't you just run a blog without trying to spark the flame of discourse ? The block button exist, the mute button exist. It's up to you to curate your own online experience and if you are indeed a minor as you claimed several time you were yet keep insisting on having this behaviour, then maybe it's a sign that you are not mature enough to be on social media. Especially since you speak as F!Alear as if she was a real person and not just a fictional being. I am sure that if you properly apologized and admitted your mistake instead of having several blog running to pretend to be another person just to prove that you are right people would actually forgive you.

As for other especially Alear, Alcryst and the Fell twins fans, I am advicing you to block this person and avoid any intereaction with them. This isn't an invitation to harass this person, if anything just block them.

Update

Both account ended up deactivating.

AT THE SAME TIME !!!

[troublerats]

Hey, I remember seeing your Flipside comic concepts on Reddit a few months ago. When I checked Reddit recently to see if there was anything new, I saw that the account you posted them on appeared to be deleted. I was really interested in following along the process. Is the comic still coming or has it been cancelled/on hiatus?

Okay so I’ve got this question a few times but I suppose it’s time I fully clarify what’s going on on Tumblr in a form I can repeatedly point to.

The comic IS still coming, but it is going through some major changes. For a variety of reasons, we have decided to de-fnaf the series and turn it into an original IP.

This is for a few emotional factors, like the abuse we’ve experienced and seen from the FNaF community and generally just hitting the point where we don’t want to deal with it when it comes to something we’ve put so much work and love in.

That and of course, the creative freedom and income we can get from making an original IP, that we already planned to work on for several years. We’re hoping to bring something new to the table

Though of course because of this, the comic is going through another phase of conceptualization. Which I will show off at the end of this thread.

-

As for why my Reddit account is gone, I deleted it since it had my old name, Treblebaps, and I could not change it so it caused to much pain. A bit of a warning here as I bring up transphobic harassment and being sent very triggering things.

As a bit of backstory, I was the first person to talk about Gwen Stacy being trans in ATSV, a post that was just meant for my friends and audience but absolutely blew the fuck up. Because of this I was harassed by transphobes for days, they sent me gore and cp, and terrorized my friends and went after my income by defacing it.

Their mass reporting resulted in me losing my account on Twitter, and ever since I just decided to rebrand because I couldn’t have the name “Treblebaps” as my @ on everything anymore. Maybe a bit dramatic, yes, but it bothered me nonetheless.

-

Going back to the Flipside, what you need to know is that the main story of Purpleside, now called Rubyside, has changed. But the story of Yellowside, now Goldenside, has all but stayed the same premise wise. I will now explain the premise of both stories to better explain the changes.

Rubyside

Edgar Adams-

the owner of a popular arcade, now slipping out of it’s golden age, accidentally murders his business partner, Oliver Walker, in a drunken spat. This act of violence, awakens a dormant entity, which begins to reach out to Edgar. Promising him various things and telling him secrets no living person knows.

Edgar follows its guidance and kills, experiments with living matter, and carves a gateway between this world and the world the entity came from, The Flipside. Held together by six arcade machines that encoded with both of their secrets.

After a pattern of tragedy Edgar disappears. Presumed dead, but continuing down his path as he repeatedly builds himself new identities, and faces, as he consumes an element known as Gold to try to keep his own face from falling off.

Following Edgar’s fall, Edgar’s two sons, discover a sliver of the secrets Edgar had kept from them. And while the younger Edgar Jr. goes down his own path,

the story from here primarily follows the older, David, as he hunts down all of the six arcade cabinets, which are now scattered in different locations across America with no signs to tell them apart.

However, his journey is made even harder on account that these arcade cabinets continually spawn twisted forms of life in many different horrific ways. Ranging from a mad race-car driving hairless cat that has split itself into endless fragmentations, a deep diving space game that causes people to drown in their sleep, a zombie shooter game that’s brought its main antagonist alive in a strange, eccentric, but annoyingly helpful way, and a boxing game that has strangely caused one of the animatronic animal characters in a pizzeria to spring to hungry life (as a little final nod to the original.)

Rubyside’s story follows David and several other characters amidst a story of living media, cults, body horror, and bloodshed.

As for Goldenside

The events of Rubyside never took place in this universe, Edgar never killed anybody, Finch never interfered. And many of the characters who died or became victims of the other worlds trauma, are able to happily live.

Namely Edgar Adams Jr. Or also known as Edwin, got to experience a vaguely normally childhood with his friends.

Edwin's friends being Lucy Smith

Eloise Baptiste

Tracy Walker

Teresa Chowdhury

Gabe Mitchel

Rodrick Woods

And Cody Fischer

These are our primary protagonists for Goldenside, and for the most part, they are happy.

However, consequences from Rubyside begin to leak through into this "good timeline" and bringing echos of events and creatures from the bloodier timeline into this one. On account of the Flipside being one dimension, while the worlds that exist, are many.

This is a constant threat the main characters face as they struggle to preserve their little slice of life lives, and live through events in one time, out of their control.

Though there are entities, that have other plans, that work tirelessly to mold this story into their own vision.

But mostly, Goldenside functions as a less dire reprieve from Rubysides often pessimistic and grim tone. It's more of a villain of the week, though doesn't shy away from drama.

-

Overall, that's the rundown of what has been going on with the Flipside thus far. And how Rubyside differs from it's original retelling of the FNaF story.

There is a lot I can't say here, and a lot I am unable to show since there is a lot of concept art I am still having to work on, equally so a lot of stuff Riddles has yet to write. But I hope nonetheless this will still be something people are excited to follow.

[bomberqueen17]

productivity

so this old laptop i'm using, it took me a bit to get used to the keyboard again, and its battery life is not great and it can only charge when plugged in at a specific outlet which isn't near any comfortable places to sit, no i don't know why it's like that either. i was going to just pick up my shit on my way back past Rochester on Sunday enroute to the farm to save myself three hours and 120 miles of driving but MM is apparently out of town on the weekend and would rather I didn't (I was willing to have her leave my shit in a box on her porch, but she wasn't comfortable doing that), so. I'm going to spend most of tomorrow driving to Rochester and back, I guess, so I'd better scale back what I can expect to get done this week.

I wasn't getting that much done anyway. I've cut out several garments, but only done a tiny bit of sewing. i managed to have the tension knob entirely fall off one of the needle threads of the serger i'm borrowing, and i've figured out how it goes back on but there's a nut that clearly fell off into the guts of the machine, so i have to figure out how to get the cover off to retrieve it. I've managed to peel the cover back but there must be a screw or something holding it somewhere, argh.

(My own serger remains stubbornly unfixable. Don't buy new sergers, apparently. Vintage is where it's at.)

But I have been managing some writing. Someone helpfully told me to think of having misplaced my laptop as a screen break, and I do appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I had spent the entire week previous with so little free time to look at my computer that I hadn't even half-discharged the battery. When writing is your primary hobby, and you do it on a screen, a "screen break" in that context really means "don't do the thing you are most deeply called to do". I could cheerfully throw my phone in a lake, as mostly it distracts me and I could use a detox from it one of these years when I'm not clinging to survival by its dim glow (my friends live in there, I can't give that up, but I might just delete instagram the way i did tumblr and twitter-- and no i never let facebook on there at all), but I write on my laptop, and most of my time is spent too busy to write.

But anyway. This old clunker of a laptop has answered the call and I'm lucky to have it, for sure. I'm finally making progress on the next bit of the Peace-Tied series, which has been bogged down for ages-- months and months-- first by my need to rewrite two-year-old scenes to fit the new continuity, and now by the logistics of a rather complicated sex scene. Yes, it's going there! Ha.

i was going to do a snippet post but then I was whining about my life instead and I shoudl get back to work before this battery runs out again. I'll do one later, I still think it will be a bit before the chapter is ready to post.

Yes there's more typos on this laptop-- half of it is the strange action of the very old keyboard, and half of it is that the screen doesn't keep up with the typing very well so i'm often typing blind. c'est la vie sorry.

[teaveetamer]

I am curious, I've been watching the discourse going on for a bit without getting involved and at this point I feel like I have to ask.

What is the desired result here? Why are you engaging in the discourse at all? Clearly this is not a discussion, so what do you gain from interacting at all?

(I will send this to several people, just out of curiosity)

Alright anon allow me to explain what's been going on with me on my end.

The year is 2019 (yes, we're doing this). FE3H has just come out. I play it and rather enjoy it actually. I've got a couple of ships that I'm into, some fanfic I want to write, etc.

I go onto Reddit to chat with people about the game. Now I don't really like Edelgard, but I'm chill, I'm open to discussing the game and getting alternate viewpoints. Initially it's more or less fine.

Then some posts start coming up. People start getting really aggressive about this. I'm trying to have a conversation, but it feels like their goal is just to shout me down. I get in arguments, I get in fights, I get misgendered, I get called a bigot, I get frustrated, I get ablest rhetoric spewed at me, and I waste my life.

Stop. Take a look at myself. I'm literally sitting here arguing about Edelgard von fucking Hresvelg for hours of my day. I'm annoyed, I'm irritated, I'm always in a bad mood. Ugh.

Now it's 2020, early times I think. I resolve to stop looking at Reddit so much with regard to this game. It's not worth the hassle and the frustration. I should be, like, out doing things and having fun not wasting my time arguing with a bunch of weirdos on the internet. I want to have fun again, not be angry. I delete the Reddit app from my phone and install a blocker on my web browsers, even.

Start using Tumblr for more than just shippy stuff, and find people who agree with me, who are saying the things I've been saying. I stop feeling crazy for liking the game the way I like it. I make a few posts on my main blog but you know what, I don't really want my main blog embroiled in this shit, though I want to add my voice to the conversation. So I make this side blog.

Make some posts. I get flooded with asks from other people about the game, saying they agree with me and they're thankful that they aren't the only ones who think the way I do. I think within like a month of existing this blog had double the posts of my main blog (which has existed since 2016, so for four years at that point), most of them from asks.

The blog was initially for me to vent and throw in my two cents here and there, but I figure I'll keep it around in regular use because people seem to be benefiting from it.

Early on I tried to establish a rule for myself that 1) I wasn't going to go looking in any main tags (e.g. the Edelgard or Edelgard Positive tags) for stuff to reblog or talk about, and 2) I wasn't going to go into any Edelgard specific spaces looking for stuff to talk about (e.g. r/Edelgard or even Dimitri-critical tags). However, anything maintagged that was looking for a fight (e.g. a Dimitri-critical post in the main Dimitri tag) was fair game.

I'm not perfect, but I did try to stick to that rule. I talked about things that happened on the main FE Sub or FEH sub. I did my best to encourage my anons to not go seeking out stuff to bring back to me from Edelgard spaces. After all, this blog was meant for venting and having my own personal space where I could talk about my views without getting accosted. I thought it would be petty for me to go bring back stuff from other places.

Moving into 2021, I was kind of done with 3H. I was still getting like dozens of asks a day about 3H discourse. I'd answer one and five more would pop up in their place. By now we're like, well beyond 3x or 4x the amount of posts I have on my main blog. I'm getting kind of tired of it. It's a lot of the same points over and over and over. We're in pandemic times, so I can't even walk away from it and do something else IRL for a while before coming back to it. I feel like I'm wasting my life again. I feel like I've said anything and everything I could have possibly said about the subject. I ask people to stop talking to me about Edelgard. Eventually, everyone mostly obliges.

I still chat about it here and there, but I'm chatting about other stuff too. This blog is still about venting just about venting about more than 3H. A lot more petty fandom shit in general.

Now we're in, like, 2022. I don't remember exactly, Pandemic Time makes some of this a bit of a blur. I notice a new kid on the block, doing basically what I'd noticed happening on Reddit. Going into the wrong tags. Picking fights. Posting things in the wrong tags. Picking fights.

I'm over it, I'm done, I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I block the dude. Most people I know block the dude or ignore him. We figure he's new here, he just hasn't learned the etiquette.

He gets increasingly hostile. I'm not really paying that much attention, just getting info about it from the fringes. Again, we figure eventually he'll just go away if we ignore him.

Then Nilsh gets harassed off the platform.

My mutuals are getting increasingly hostile anons and combative reblogs.

At this point I'm relatively unaffected. I guess because I don't tag anything, so he didn't find it.

And you know what? I'm still like "he'll get bored. He'll leave eventually." We were all like "just ignore him, he'll leave eventually."

People try to explain tags to him. Try to help him curate his experience so he quits arguing with people who don't want to talk to him all the time.

Then Moonlitboar gets harassed off of the platform. They take the URL. He's bragging about having done it. He's spreading this vitriol to other platforms and convincing others to join in on the harassment.

And I'm like. Okay. This dude isn't leaving. This is what he wants. His goal isn't to talk about this game—his goal is to hurt us.

I unblock him and respond. We go back and forth. He stops... for a time.

Here's the thing. I didn't re-block him after that, and I didn't do that for a couple of reasons. First, because at this point I'm still hopeful that he's just unaware of what he's doing, and that he'll acknowledge how messed up it was and apologize. I'm all for second chances. The second, because he's dangerous and I'm worried that if I don't keep tabs on him, he's going to try to hurt me.

It's not long until he's doing the same shit again. He tries harassing BWIIDT, he tries harassing FantasyInvader, he tries harassing Ezra, he tries harassing RandomNameless, he tries harassing Emblemxeno, he tries harassing Gascon, he tries harassing people I've literally never even heard of. I keep calling him out, and he tries harassing me. He calls me hysterical, accuses me of acting like a victim. Tries to make me feel stupid and small by saying I don't have anything worth his attention to respond to.

(By the way dude, my point about that was that you were being misogynistic but treating discourse like it was only worth responding to if it came from a man. See, I noticed that you only liked to attack people you thought were cishet white men like yourself, even if we were saying basically the same things at times. The fact that you continue not "debunking" any of my posts doesn't upset me; it proves my point)

He blocks me. I can't say for certain why, but my bet is that he realized people were actually listening to what I had to say, and having a queer woman question the actions he purported to be for the benefit of queer women wasn't a great look for him.

He's still trying to harass me. He's taking screenshots, he's using my name, he's @ ing me. He's casually lying about me. He's using sexist rhetoric implying that I shouldn't be listened to because I'm just too ~in my feelings~ and he's the true victim of my hysterical victimized martyr complex (geez, you sure a a feminist ally for that one, aren't you?)

You know, I did actual research when one of my anons accused him of being a trump supporter and tried to lie about him? I burned an entire evening on that, because I didn't want to be spreading lies about people. Meanwhile he lets his anons casually and repeatedly misgender me without so much as a passing correction, and he hangs out with people who spread lies and slander accusing others of heinous crimes.

And you know what? If I knew it was going to be like this? I'd still waste that evening and correct that anon. It's not about getting a petty win or convincing people he's a bad person for me. It's about being respected.

So to get back to your question. Why am I doing this? Because I have to. Because I know that if I don't he's going to hurt someone else, just like how he hurt Nilsh and Moonlitboar. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, after all. We ignored him and he didn't leave, so now we have to say something.

What's the desired result? I want to be respected, like I've tried to respect them for almost the entirety of this blog's existence. I want my boundaries acknowledged. I want him to stop hurting people for no other reason than to hurt them, because they don't agree with him.

When will I stop? When he stops.

[jazzy-art-time]

A List of all my Tumblr Blogs! Ranging from personal use to ask blog stuff! - PERSONAL BLOGS - @jazzymudkip My main "personal" blog! I reblog literally whatever I want there care free, so take note of that. @jazzy-art-time Art Blog! You are ALREADY here! Congrat! @jazzyarchive My Archive blog! For deleted meme posts, deleted blogs, etc etc. Just so I can keep a nifty archive for myself! - ASK BLOGS - List of all my CURRENT askblogs. Each blog has its own sensitive content tags/warnings available to see on the blog themselves. IMPORTANT NOTE: Not all blogs are entirely active, I switch which blogs I update based on my mood or what my passion is aiming towards. @mod-jazzy Mod Blog for all askblog related things, the "primary hub" of sorts. @asktidethegastrodon Blog about Tide the gastrodon and Co. Plot driven and based on End of Days and the 7 deadly sins. @tales-from-kirkland Blog about pirates! Following the "imfamous" Kirkland family member, M. Has a lotta pokemon hybrids/fusions. @ask-scrafty Blog following Jody, a scrafty who has been cursed by a powerful witch to hunt monsters/myths to survive. (Primarily anthro pokemon) @ask-eden Blog for the worlds worst mew, Eden. A mew born without any powers forcefully thrust to become powerful to save his universe against MissingNo. @ask-wasteland-labs Blog based on anthro pokemon and the SCP foundation. Following Jennichu and her family as they face a SCP Containment Breach. (Entirely anthro pokemon based) @flake-n-rudy Blog about Flake, Hyphen, Nymph and Rudy. Four unevolved pokemon trying to get into the Great Galar Race. I'm sure nothing bad happens. (PMD style story/lore) @asktauros Blog about several tauros children who get lost from home and struggle to survive and find their way back home. @poke-magica Blog based on anthro pokemon and the Madoka Magica universe. Yes it's a magical (poke)girl blog. (Entirely Anthro pokemon based) @ask-skitty Blog about Stocking the skitty! A PMD universe blog heavily based on PMD:Explorers of Darkness but with several of my own personal story twists so it's not entirely the same story being retold. (also used to be my first pokemon comic ever back on deviantart heehoo) @askduskull Blog based on horror and horror themes. Following a duskull who hates the light and several other ghastly ghouls and what have you. @maybe-mienshao Blog based on Koi the mienshao. A more "daily blog" styled blog kind of. Switches on and off between story based or more daily blog style requests. @interdimensional-retail Blog based in a Interdimensional Retail store. Follows the main merchandising team and various floor associates and their struggles with working in the retail environment. @pokeask-trail-camera A pokeask blog that functions like a "trail camera". Not really interactive of any sort. -- MISC BLOGS -- @bunnybrunko Original OC Comic blog, INACTIVE as of right now. @swshstory Pokemon SwSh comic blog, INACTIVE as of right now. @jarble-au WIP CURRENTLY

[eossa]

How I'd Make Tumblr More Profitable

Yes, this is going to be controversial, since I know nothing about the behind-the-scenes spending, economics, and all that jazz. But I've been on Tumblr for long enough to have a rough idea of the userbase wants - which is what positions Tumblr in a niche other sites don't really utilize. Most of the points I list here are about improving the experience of existing users, as keeping users might be harder for tumblr than attracting new ones.

Please note that this posts reflects my personal opinions and some stuff I've seen people complain about it. Do not attack me over anything I've written here, it's not worth my time and I will resort to blocking if I'm being bothered. Constructive criticism is fine and encouraged!

[under the cut because this got quite long] [last updated 20th July 2023]

Features to Add

Block posts. Xkit has/had this feature, it was great. Sometimes I just don't want to see a specific post, and others probably agree with that.

Send asks and replies from sideblogs. Would literally make a lot of things easier and better.

Delete individual reblog additions from a post. Sometimes, you have a post where there is one"relevant" addition, multiple "irrelevant" additions ("yes!", "[repeated phrase in bold]", "this is a must reblog"), before there is a "relevant" addition again. But right now, you can only remove all reblog additions, not just individual ones. I feel like this would be a neat feature.

Direct blocking of anon hate which also tracks the IP and blocks the associated account(s). No rights for cowards, that's all I'll say.

Features to Bring Back

Reblog chains. Prev tags are the backbone of lots of interactions on here. If I click on someone's username in a reblog chain, I want to see that post on their blog, not their blog starting from the newest post. The loss of this feature is one of the things people constantly complain about in the replies of @changes.

Several text formatting options. As a theme maker, it would be nice to have proper preformatted text again - it makes code so much more legible. Other formatting options I miss are marked/highlighted text and text lines, which are really helpful to visually break apart passages of text.

Features to Ditch

Tumblr Live. There I've said it. If I want to see stuff like that, I have TikTok, IG Reels, Pinterest Reels, and YouTube Shorts. Twitter also has something like this. It's oversaturated, and aparently there are still enough cyber security concerns that it's not even accessible outside of the US and Canada.

Ads in lightboxes. Especially on mobile, there are already more than enough ads on the feed, no need to add more nested inside other elements.

Features that Make Money

Pay for NSFW. If this site allowed full nudity etc. again but hid it behind a paywall, we'd kill two birds with one stone: The site would probably still be allowed on the App Store, and the money influx would be huge. The userbase would also increase again.

(If Tumblr Live is kept.) Pay to snooze Tumblr Live permanently. It's the most complained about thing in changes' replies, so I feel like people would pay on a subscription base just to not see TL anymore.

Pay to increase limits. 250 posts per day is the maximum that can be posted - and there are people hitting those limits. If there was an option to buy a higher limit (500p/d, 750p/d, etc.), people might generally use it. Like those add-on charges for mobile data. Same goes for posts in the queue, posts in drafts, images in a photoset and so on.

Pay to pin posts at the top of a tag or search result. Ebay Kleinanzeigen has this neat feature where you can push your small ads to the top of a search query so that more people can see it. This could be a cool feature to try, as it would work in a more content-aware way than Blaze does.

Pay to buy inactive URLs. There are some really cool usernames on here that are taken by blogs that haven't updated for 5+ years and only have one post (or none at all), and I feel like it would be neat to be able to buy one of these cool usernames attached to an empty account. To make sure that usernames attached to redirect or something else don't get bought, tumblr should send an e-mail to the username owner - if the user doesn't react to that for 3 months, the usernames changed owners. [added 13th July 2023]

Existing Features to Improve

NPF posts. I feel like a combination of legacy and NPF would be neat. Think selecting a main element like in the legacy editor (e.g. video, image, audio) and then adding a caption that can add different content types like NPF does. Or at least create a better overview over NPF variables and release the full base code with documentation to make things easier for the web designers on here. There are more issues with the NPF format but I won't list everything people dislike about it here.

Block people. The block feature should make sure that the person being blocked doesn't see any posts made by the person they were blocked by, even if those posts were reblogged by another user. Also, like IG does, there should be an option to block either just a specific blog or the IP address attached to block side-blogs and other accounts of that user.

Color palettes. The color palette options for the dashboard are generally a nice idea but I think it would be better if there was a dropdown menu to choose a palette from rather than having to click through all the different options. For example, if I want to go from Cement (light mode) to Dark mode, I have to click through 10 options until I reach Dark again. There has to be an easier way. [added 20th July 2023]

Other Improvements Needed

Nuke spam bots. Users are reporting all the spam bots, yet, it doesn't seem like they are dwindling in numbers. Also - at least this is how it's being perceived by the userbase - tumblr isn't doing enough on their end to reduce spam bots. This is definitely something that needs to be fixed.

End hateful and criminal activities. It's the year 2023, yet there are still outright N*zis, violent tr*nsphobes, literal p*dophiles, and other people committing to the daily bit of hate speech and other illegal activities (fraud too considering all those fake GoFundMe sites) on this website. I'm not saying free speech should be banned but there is a bright red line between what is free spech and what is hate speech (or should get you jailed considering fraud and p*dophilia).

A through-out, perhaps even interactive, beginner tutorial. "The site is too complicated to use for new users!" – then explain how it works in easy terms, with examples, images, and videos. Every other application or web app has walk-throughs, just do the same here.

Improved ad relevancy. The ads I see on tumblr are usually so out-of touch with the userbase, and many of them feel like the sort of stuff you see on a spam-ridden torrenting site. I feel like increasing the relevancy of ads to what the users usually blog about would cause a higher click-rate and turn-over-rate than the current ads do.

Summary

There is probably more I could add, but that's it for now. Should I make any later additions directly to this post, I will mention it to prevent misunderstandings. If you have any ideas or constructive criticism, let me hear about it in the replies or reblogs of this post.

[cyberphuck]

And yes, the literal constant anxiety over flies and inability to relax if I think one is even in the same room with me has severely degraded my quality of life and left me too exhausted to do anything at all, thanks for asking

The "mild aversion" has ramped up to "violently phobic paranoia" in a way I haven't experienced before and I'm really worried about it but, as always, have no idea who to turn to for help (and even if I did know, there's like a 75% chance that person would just ignore, belittle, or fail me and then send me on my way).

I really honestly hate being alive. The good times are brief and quickly overwhelmed by the broken-glass grind of mental illness. If I'm able to lift my head up at all, I'm immediately hit by six new things that have to be taken care of today, five of them involving paying money I don't have. I'll struggle all day to find a way to distract myself without getting overstimulated, and then, in the middle of the night, I'll realize how quickly time is running away from me, how much has been taken already by decades of traumatic disassociation, and I'll break down in tears and make a tumblr post that I'll delete in the morning because I hate the idea of making anyone else suffer the way I constantly do, knowing that things are very bad but being helpless to do anything about it.

People always say "I'm here to talk if you ever need to" and I love them for it, and I know they mean it, but what do we talk about? "That sure is a deep hole you're in." "Yeah." "Can you get out?" "No." "Have you tried--" "Yeah I tried all those things." "Oh. That really sucks."

Now both of us feel helpless, and you'll feel like the only thing you *can* do is keep me company, but I'm not good company. I'm dying, but not in a glamorous, quick or even interesting way-- just laying there, sweating, tucked under a blanket so nothing lands on my bare skin. I'm too tense to hug, too tired to have a conversation, not pretty enough for my face to be put on charity flyers. The best thing I can do is hurry up and die so that I can become a sad story you tell to other people, scrunching or stretching it to fit whatever point you're trying to make at the time.

I had a friend like that once.

[emblazons]

hi!

i read the tags you wrote about millie in a post yesterday (i think you deleted the post because i cant find it now) and i just wanted to say im glad theres someone who shares similar thoughts as me. i love millie but i cant even say anything on twitter without her toxic stans accusing me of misogyny and insulting her intelligence, even though thats not my intention.

if byler is canon, how do you think she’ll feel about it? im asking because your perspective is interesting! i think shes going to take it a bit personally because she strongly relates to her character and wants el to be on the same path as her (like getting married young). its understandable though, considering her upbringing.

!! I actually took it off my blog because the other day I resolved the issue of my tags not archiving—but when it got resolved, my blog ended up square in the middle as “top blogs” with the full mlvn name tag because I hadn’t been abbreviating their ship in the tag I used before ☠️ that said, I changed the tag to “anti mlvn” so I could keep myself out of mlvn corners, but a lot of the recent posts that I kept under the old tag are gone or private until tumblr tracks the change—hence the missing post!

Still...me and that tag rant was giving “why would you say something so controversial, yet so brave” for sure (lmao), though I certainly meant it less as a comment on her life decisions themselves and more a "I can tell by the decisions you make as a creator, producer of other films, and in general that you are not The Duffer Brother's target audience, but a lot of your fans can't" kind of way...which is still controversial in several corners of this fandom for sure. 😭

the rest of this answer under the cut because it got long lol

Like, yes, she does play a principal character in the show, but playing a character does not mean the character is modeled to you as a person—just look at Emilia Clarke playing Daenerys Targaryen, Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal Lecter, or even Rachel McAdams playing Regina George lmao.

Despite playing El since she was a child, as Millie has come into adulthood it's become clearer that she is very different from El—and that The Duffers aren't creating Eleven's arc with Millie's own "coming of age" in mind. Her choices to create things like Enola Holmes, Damsel, and even Nineteen Steps (her new book) showing up as sharp contrasts to not only the women in Stranger Things, but in all of The Duffer's upcoming work on Death Note, The Talisman and The Boroughs prove that well enough, which would be zero problem at all...if a lot of her fans didn't conflate Millie with El is as a character.

To your point though...I honestly don't think Millie is going to be all that personally upset if El ends up single and Byler happens—she's already made clear that she loves El, but is ready to move on and tell other stories and that she would have written the story as a high school drama if she was in control of the direction of the plot (while pointing out that she's not the one in control of it) lol.

Even what she said recently in an widely published and official Seventeen interview shows that she's really just here to finish the story and move on with her career—that she's ready for her role as El (and the drama I'm 10000% sure comes with that) to be done:

At least to me, all of that makes it seem like she is a level-headed young woman who can handle her character not being aligned with how she would live her own life—and will, when the time comes.

That said: imo the real problem is that fans of MBB are confusing Millie's own "I can be young, strong and still have a man" creative and life choices with El's "I am overcoming the bounds men have put on me to become strong by myself" storyline, which only becomes an issue when Millie jokes about things like mlvn getting married—

—and (by nature of being an influential celebrity) ends up with fans who mistake Millie's headcanons (because...honestly that's what they are) based on what she enjoys in fiction as what The Duffers are writing & planning for the ending of Stranger Things.

Basically: as an actress, it's literally MBB's job to bring life to stories that don't necessarily reflect her own values or desires, and she knows it—but because she's been playing the character on people's screens so long (and from a young age) a lot of fans have issues separating the woman from the fiction and recognizing that (as Adam Driver once said) it's not Millie's job to have a feeling about or even agree with who El is as a person—it's her job to bring El & The Duffer's vision to life, even if her life informs how she plays the role.

None of that is particularly Millie's fault (though she, like Noah sometimes, adds fuel to fandom fire with the jokes she makes lmao), though it does get irritating to navigate when you're constantly subjected to arguments rooted in nothing but headcanons when trying to make sense of The Duffer's work itself lmao.

TL;DR - Mills joking about El and Mike getting married feels the same as someone here putting their headcanon out into the world about married & domestic Byler—only, because she's the face of Eleven + has now gotten engaged young herself, people misinterpret her own "cute headcanons" as canonical fact, leaving people who love the actual canon + who enjoy the 'style of womanhood' the Duffers write to arguing with people who misunderstand the actual characters.

Millie is a woman whose had a complicated relationship with celebrity and fame since she was a very young girl, and she has certainly made different decisions than I have (and likes different fiction than I do)—but that has nothing to do with her intelligence or ability to respond gracefully to the character she's played since 12 turning out differently than she would have imagined it if she had written El herself. If and when Byler happens, I'm sure she will meet the reality of it with respect and consideration, even if her fans (and hardcore fans of mlvn) don't lmao.

Hopefully that explains it (and doesn't get me shot for saying lmao). But thanks for the ask!

[circusmothman]

Hello, it's been a while, sadly I am writing this today to make a not so fun announcement.

As most of you are likely aware already, Automattic, thus Tumblr, is going to be partnering with AI companies, selling our art and data to be used as training for their shitty models.

While I haven't had the time to make a public stance about this topic here before, I want to clarify now that I do not condone the use of ANY of my content in AI. I have nothing but resentment for that garbage and hate how it's been slowly seeping into everything. I'd rather keep struggling through burnout forever than even once make use of this thing. Art means the world to me, and as frustrated as it can make me, this it not the way to remedy that. But I won't go into the full ins and outs about this now. The main point is none of my creation is to be made part of that. Ever.

So I have been thinking hard about this the past few days, ever since the original info was leaked that this would be happening. And I am sad to say that going forward I will not be posting new art or writing here anymore. Tumblr might have given us the option to opt-out, but already the fact that this wasn't the default setting is show enough that they cannot be trusted, and I do not wish to supply a platform with my art when they still very easily could go behind my back and sell it off to the machine. The fact they support that garbage to begin with is bad enough. Not to mention that I do not trust fucking OpenAI and Midjourney to ever even honor that setting. Yeah no.

And yes, I am aware my artwork has already been long scraped off google and what not simply because it's been posted on public profiles and crawlers have been all over that for over a year now. But in this case it's a matter of principle, the crawlers are blatant theft, they took what they were never allowed to, and Tumblr is currently putting out the message that if you keep posting here, you are basically consenting to have your creation taken away and misused. And that is not a stance I wish to humor in the slightest.

So as sad as I am about this... that's it. I don't think there is a point in deleting my already existing posts. Although I would still encourage everyone to save any of my artwork or writing you are particularly fond of, I am ok with people just downloading things to keep. Just don't reupload, monetize, or use it for AI, obviously, and don't claim as your own. Because there might still come a time I just nuke everything because of this garbage.

As for where to from now.... I don't know. Normally people plug their offsite accounts at this point. But I don't have anything worth plugging anymore. Deviantart was my old hub but the decline that's been happening there for literal years, plus several other issues, makes it so that I barely post there anymore, and I have no intention of giving it a full revival. I also have a furaffinity but I hardly post there either, but that's just because I don't quite vibe with the platform, not any issues with them directly. Tumblr really was the last place I really felt comfortable sharing the majority of my art, and now that's gone too. And while a friend has offered to get me on Pillowfort, which I might accept eventually, for now... I am just so fucking tired. I am exhausted of platforms having 0 respect for their userbase, of being driven out by one thing or another only for it to happen again in the next place.

I still have so much to say, to do, to share, so many stories yet untold, and if it wasn't for that bleeding burnout and depression I likely would have gotten far more done. But for now that's it, thank you to everyone who has supported me through the past few years and shared the passion and love for this fandom. I will still be around and the askbox is always open, but otherwise I will update you on when and if I have found a new place to setup camp.

Take care, fuck AI, and fuck shitty CEOs.

[lone-rhapsodist]

Some major updates...

I am going to try to sum up the things that have happened in the past few weeks. I am trying to get back on track and move on and I need to get a few things off my chest before I can do that properly.

This post contains major updates about my Classics project, my Discord server, and a few new and upcoming projects. This is definitely a very long post, so I will put a 'Keep reading' below to make it easier on your dashboard. If you do want to read it, please make sure you have a tea or a coffee on the ready. As always, thank you for your patience and support!

First, the 'no' news. I received no reply from Working Classicists. I know I should insist. I know I should probably send a second email before giving up. But the reality is, no one is interested in my project to create an online community for Classics. Not in the way that I intend it, at least. So, I am quitting. Or to put it more positively, I am shelving this particular project for the time being, if not for good. I know I could try reaching out to Asterion and other organisations, but to be honest, I am not convinced. I am not convinced that anyone is really interested in the idea, or willing to work with me to make it happen, or both. The only person who understood what I was talking about and wanted to support me was that ex lecturer of mine from university. She is the best, bless her. But anyone else, whether academic folks or not, has been largely unresponsive. Christ, even the people I started working on this project with abandoned me just after a few months. I have been working on this on and off for years now. What is the point of keeping on banging my head against this wall? I no longer have the drive to keep going. Therefore, I shall stop.

Second, the 'bad' news. I deleted my Discord server, SymForum. I had been thinking about doing it for a while. I was keeping it as an experimental platform, in the hope that things with other organisations would pick up and I would be able to move on from it soonish. In the meantime, it made sense to keep the server as a testing ground for ideas, to see what worked, what didn't, what to keep and what to throw away. Turns out, what to throw away was the whole thing. Because the server was basically dead. And so there was no point keeping it if it was just going to stay dead. I would like to point out, there is no problem whatsoever with that. If anyone on here was on it and they were just lurking, that is absolutely fine. I am lurker number 1 here. I lurk on Facebook. I lurk on Twitter. I lurk on Reddit. I lurk pretty much anywhere but here, and by most Tumblr users' standards, I reckon my activity on here is pretty much lurking anyway. I lurk on Discord too, especially since I've got nothing to contribute to most conversations. When I have something to say, I'll say it, but that ends up being like one time in a million, and then that one time is fine, but it's one in a million, so, it is what it is. Anyway, as a major lurker myself, am I really going to blame people for lurking on my server? Hell no. But am I going to blame myself for it? Hell yes. Because I'm supposed to run the show here. And I hate doing that. I hate being in charge of things. It's the story of my life, and I just can't do that anymore. So I deleted the server. And in my opinion, good riddance. If it was supposed to be a playground for my project, it showed that people are not interested in bringing in their ideas and asking for advice on how to develop them further nearly as much as I thought they would be, and that's fair enough. But if it was supposed to be a Discord server in the traditional sense, then there's already plenty that fit the bill, and I'm happy to recommend them: Classics Central; Miletos; The Cambridge Latin Discord Server; Tychon's Symposium; and for those of you who like hoarding stuff, the Classicists' PDF Society. There are also several subreddits that are valid, such as r/latin, r/ancientgreek, r/classics. I hope you find these useful.

Now, the 'good' news, at least for me, I guess. While I was damning myself with these questions about how to create an online Classics community in any way, shape, or form, something remarkable happened. A local Classics community popped up on my Facebook feed and I was invited to attend an event. Literally 15 mins away from my house. The timing couldn't have been better. While I was in the depths of my struggle, I had at some point contemplated the idea of moving this project of a Classics community from online to physical. I am not going to give away where I am based, but I live in a pretty big place, and it always struck me as odd that, amongst all these very official Classics academic societies, nothing existed that was more open to the general public. I did look into how I could get something like this started, but options seemed limited to using Facebook and word of mouth, and even then, I wasn't quite sure what the actual thing should look like. Online, I always wanted something like a forum, but in real life, what would it be? A monthly meet up? A book club? No idea. So, when this society came up on Facebook and I went to their first event, I was very impressed. The aim of the society is to promote Classics among everyone, through informal meet ups in which we read something in translation and then have a discussion alongside it. It's very chilled, very simple, and to be honest, very enjoyable. Our first meet ups have been about a few Platonic dialogues, and again, I was so happy with them -- we just sat down with tea and biscuits, took turns reading the dialogue, and from time to time had a pause to discuss what we just read and share our thoughts on it. From conversations I've had with the person who started this, it is clear to me that this is intended for anyone with an interest in Classics, with no need for prior learning, which I really appreciate. So, to me, it seems like a no brainer that I should invest more time into the society, and that I should help them develop further. I am currently applying to become part of their committee, and hopefully I will be able to join them soon. But even if for some reason I was unable to, this is a very valid project, and it makes sense that I should try to contribute to it, since it is very local to where I live, and it's perfectly in line with my job, and indeed, if there is any way in which anything even remotely close to my own original project could ever develop, it is through things like this -- grassroots approaches to Classics communities, similar to Working Classicists, grounded in reality, with real people, through real conversations. That's not to say that what happens online isn't real! But it is something I'm noticing, at least for myself, with all this 'online living' that I do, that because of it, sometimes I tend to lose touch with reality, and in turn, I end up not doing things in the real world that I would like to do, as if doing things online could be a replacement for that. Online can complement reality -- indeed, it is an extension of it. But online is online, and reality is reality. It's not easy to articulate, and I still struggle with the concept myself at times, but I do see a nuance, a difference, a distinction etc. I think that me moving the project from online to physical is a positive thing, and I look forward to exploring it further, and this not just for this particular project, but for other ones too.

Of course, technically speaking, the society does not (yet) fully replace the project, and in that sense, there are still some things which I would like to experiment with online, if at all possible, some more in an active way, some more in a passive one. An example of passive project is what I would like to refer to as 'Classics Helpdesk'. You know what a helpdesk is. It's a form of IT or other support desk that you go to or contact to ask questions about a problem that you need help with. That's what I want to do, but for Classics. Basically, the idea is to create a helpdesk where everyone who has any questions about anything Classics related (a text, a topic, a bit of Latin, university, work, you name it) can ask it, and I will respond, and I will try my best to help them with it, and hopefully it will actually help. It's essentially the idea that was at the heart of the project -- to help others develop their ideas about the ancient world -- but stripped to its core and reduced to something like "I'm a Classics person, ask me anything" as a service for anyone to use. I like it, because it requires no real work -- it will probably be just a pinned post at the top of my main blog, inviting people to send me any asks, even anonymously, or just message me, and I will respond, either publicly if it's an ask, or privately if it's a message. The details can be refined as I go, but basically that's the gist of it. Again, it would be good for me because it would require essentially no work, and I could just sit here and mind my own business, and then, whenever someone sends me a request for help, I can info-dump them with whatever they need, and hopefully make them happy, and definitely also make ME happy in the process, because let's face it, this is as much about making me happy as it is about making you happy -- with making you happy being more important by a pretty good margin, but still, it's a win-win. And don't get me wrong, this is not intended to rival or replace the already great number of brilliant people on here who also offer this kind of service. If anything, I would simply like to join their number in a more official fashion, by putting myself out there through my own helpdesk service, and hope that I can actually be of service to anyone. In the past, I've had a couple of people send me asks with questions about Latin stuff or Greek mythology, and it was so fun to sit down and respond to them, and I hope that I may be able to share again that kind of happiness with others in the future. So yeah. Classics Helpdesk. Please watch this space.

As for the more active side of the project, the one specifically about helping people develop their ideas about the ancient world… I think it's about time I faced the fact that the one person who really needed help developing their ideas… is me. So, one of my personal goals with this thing for the upcoming academic year -- yes, I still measure my year goals using the school calendar… I'm a teacher, don't judge me -- is that I should actually start, well, writing. And not give a fuck about it. Like, what it looks like, whether it's good or bad etc. This is an incredibly painful thing for me, and so far I have found it really hard to make the time to make it happen. But I just can't bear to keep not doing this any longer. So, here we are. The great idea to help me make this easier for myself is to do a bit like I'm doing for my Classics project and try to ground it more into reality. One thing I had considered was starting a podcast, because I noticed that when I talk about my ideas out loud with people in my life it's a lot easier to get the words out and make things make sense. However, lately I have been thinking that something that could work well for me instead is writing dialogues. This is something that goes back a long way for me personally, as dialogues were some of the very first original posts I ever wrote on Tumblr -- not on this blog, but on my old one, and in my native tongue. It was a great way to get thoughts out and do some self-critique without being too harsh or lenient on myself. As an informal way to explore my own ideas about the ancient world, I think it could work very well. Not to mention that dialogues are literally THE form of self- and collective reflection from the ancient world par excellence. So yeah, I cannot think of a better way to do this. I could still try other things. Letters are a possibility. Essays too. But first, I need to regain some confidence in my writing. I hope that this will help.

Lastly, I should perhaps mention that, at some point, you might end up seeing some of my own poetry on this blog too. This is mainly because Poetizer, where I first started posting my poetry, is now turning to a subscription-based model -- those bastards… So now I have to consider moving somewhere else. I always thought I would end up on Tumblr with my poetry too anyway, so I suppose this is just the sign that I need to make the move. I don't know when, I don't know how. I don't know whether to make another blog for it. I guess it would make sense. I already have neon-rhapsodies as an archive for my blogging, plus ideally that is where the dialogues would go as well. However, I do think that the poetry should be separate. I think I'll probably stick with the identity I had crafted for myself on Poetizer, but we'll see. In the meantime, it's exciting to think about all the possibilities that might materialise in the future.

Man, this was a long post. Thanks for sticking along for the ride. I am sorry if you were invested in my Classics project as it originally was, and wanted me to keep going with things as they were. I hope you can see why a change was needed, and that you will be happy to keep following any developments in this sense. I am grateful as ever for all your encouragement and support. Thank you, and take care.

[waves-art-blog]

How to identify a Follow-Bot

I think it's been a few weeks, I forget how many weeks, but these bots are really starting to annoy me. And yes, I know you're shitty bots, you shitty bots!?

I ban these bots, even if I get 10-20 new "followers" per day. I don't want them as followers. I know that many bots are deleted within a day, but many bots are never deleted or only deleted after weeks/months(from tumblr? I don’t know).

Oh yes, if these bots weren't bots but real followers, that would be a dream, I'm sure I'd already have over 500 followers v-v.

For those who may think they're getting followers lately, check them out for following stuff. Beware, there are several waves of bots, hence different types:

What they all have in common: Women as profile picture!

1. Type Bot: These are already a bit older and hardly represented. This type of Bot has a lot of women's pictures on their Tumblr pages, but of different ones, which they probably steal from the internet and just want to keep their page more "trusted". Under the pictures there is something like "Do you want to meet me?" or "I'm Signal and I'm waiting for you" with a link. (NEVER CLICK ON THE LINK! Unless you want viruses!) Sometimes the link is also in the short description of the blog. They also have normal female names and surnames, but always have three numbers after their names. Something like: Julie_White357, Annarose731 or Cassandra_Johnson412.

2. Type Bot: Is very common right now. Empty blog, not a single post. In the short description, however, there is a scheme that they all have the same. Emotes with words. Between each word there is a random emote. It is also said where she supposedly lives, that she is Signal and what she likes (mostly men or both). Example: 💙 Signal 🌻 Both 🍁 Texas 🎇 Julia 🌸 OR 🌸🌻🍀 Anna, Signal, Like Mens, lives in Ohio 🌰🌴🌿 The name still has numbers at the end, this time it can be only 2 numbers. In addition, the name can now also consist of random words (not only English) or letters instead of women's names. Example: Jullendangs45, Annarasan459, Julanlian750, Hgaiglean458 or Annawhite75.

3. Type Bot: Like type 2, but without a short description. Important! Of course, there are also real blogs that have their RL name as a blog name, or people who have numbers behind their blog. But you quickly get a sense of who is a Bot and who is not. What exactly do the bots do? Back then they reblogged stuff and then put their links in reblogs next to naked pictures or wrote a DM to you with something like "Hey, I'm a signal girl looking for a hot night! *link*"

Today they do nothing but annoy you and maybe find someone who might be stupid enough to click on a link (although there is no link, but maybe if you write to them they will send you a link).

[rationalisms]

Omg you discord post is exactly what I’ve been thinking as well. I’ve joined it for fandoms and school groups and irl community stuff and each and every time I get so anxious that I end up going ghost. Speaking specifically on fandom though, I recently deleted my account and the app (love being #free) because the one to one feel of involvement is A Lot. I love screaming into the void and shooting off a stupid post way too much so having to think through everything I say is anxiety like I don’t actually want to feel like I’m in a chat room? Idk but it’s the same with twitter, I use it to crack some jokes but the extra sense of familiarity that seems to come with frequent interactions overwhelms me and everyone else just seems to be okay with it. I realize that’s a box of a social anxiety thing in general though. Anyway not that you asked bit this is why I don’t think I’ll ever leave tumblr it caters so perfectly to the hermit in me lol

oh bud i completely feel you, it's an absolute nightmare for people with any amount of social anxiety. pretty much the only reason i use discord is for ttrpg organizational purposes, and for the one movie watching/music league group chat with my group of friends; any servers i've joined that are bigger than that i go through the exact same process every time: agonize over what to say for several days because everyone else already seems incredibly familiar with each other in a way that's so deeply terrifying and intimidating and then eventually just leaving again. which sux! i wanna Take Part In Stuff and meet people who share my interests but i'm a big ball of anxiety and that setting is my nightmare... so i definitely get you. and good on you for deciding that you're no longer getting anything out of it and pulling the plug! it can be hard especially with how much it's assumed that you have certain social media and FOMO and alla dat, so i'm glad you were able to draw a line and i hope it helps make you feel more comfortable.

i don't mind twitter as much because it feels more passive in a lot of ways. like, engagement can just be a driveby fav or even if you do reply or someone replies to you there's an inherent built-in acceptance of delay in response or even just like. Acknowledgement By Fav Can Be Enough. which imo is definitely not the atmosphere for discord at least ime. but it's still not great for fandom stuff for a ton of other reasons including the complete lack of archiving. and honestly, i abandoned my public twitter for my locked down private one for a multitude of reasons and the anxiety around having to keep up some sort of Public Persona is definitely part of it, so i absolutely understand you on that level as well.

tumblr has its own issues obviously, but like you i never felt the same sense of pressure or dread here. a big part of that is obviously the whole reblog system in itself, in that it's totally fine and even encouraged to just, idk , silently curate pretty pictures for a bit and at most commenting in the tags when you have something to say or w/e, but also being able to do the whole shooting random thoughts into the void whenever you want to instead. it's also much, much easier to curate my experience here than anywhere else lol. much more robust blacklisting functions available (albeit reliant on third party extensions) and if you didn't choose to put something on your dash then tumblr won't for the most part force it on you. so that for sure helps.

idk, i don't have the solution! because like, yes in many ways discord and twitter are suboptimal for fandom stuff but in many ways it's also down to the fact that i do obviously have pretty severe anxiety around these things and struggle with it immensely in a way that a lot of people obviously don't. which sucks but isn't their problem.

i still think we should all move to dreamwidth though. if enough of us hermits congregate there other people eventually have to follow, right? that's how we all ended up on tumblr in the first place :x

[nangbaby]

Okay, I know I did not give a detailed link to every single instance of abuse. I was in a severe time crunch when I wrote that last post.

That said, given your response, it wouldn't have made a difference if I had dropped every single instance of hate for you to read.

I find it incredulous that named people sent me death threats with impunity and claimed succumbing to bullying on the Internet for decades is pathetic, and that you, a person ostensibly against sending people death threats, are ignoring this actual fact because in your mind, I deserve it. I've been told to "eat an embolism and choke purple" called a "retard" and other slurs and your answer is you don't see hate. Because I'm not a perfect victim.

I mean, people can be transphobic when making fun of me and get a pass.

That's not even getting into the flat out lies people are spreading about me and claiming that I stole their art. People claiming I'm nads6969 and an art thief and making up trolls when you can clearly see those are real people with post histories sending this stuff, as though nads6969 and prismatic-bell both followed me, befriended me, then blocked me, too. How is lying about me then blocking me to hide the evidence not abusive?

I made that claim when Maggie was alive, because she made more posts than those. Do you know what happened? The cumulative effects her, other fans, and an exclusionist bisexual who tried to get "allo" banned led to me deleting thousands of posts on my blog. I was not trying to "erase" anything. I believe in archival and my blog has been archived for years on the Wayback Machine. I was in a low point due to all the people saying I was worthless and deserved to die. And even after I quit people still laughed, and again suicide baited with impunity.

For instance, Saint Maggie of Lubbock blocked me then wrote those tirades. The only reason why I could reblog is because her block was under the old style -- WHICH I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH AND IF TUMBLR BROUGHT THAT STYLE OF BLOCKING BACK AND REPLACED THE CURRENT ONE WITH IT I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT BLOCKING - where blocking would just mute the target's blog and the target could reblog all day long while the blocker did not receive notification.

Yes, I deleted my own work. because of her and others.

But it seems no matter how much I link to the actual images or even put them in front of you, you don't acknowledge that telling me to kill myself is harassment, unless, of course, I were to do a bad thing, and thus it's a very bad thing I deserve to kill myself for doing a bad thing and should be seen as irredeemable trash that should be disposed of.

As for why I don't change my screen name and start over, that should be obvious...

As I wrote, I generally don't change my screen name because I am not trying to lie about who I am, or do any of the stalkery things that these people claim I do. Going under a new screen name would be block-evading, ban-evading, and stalking. It would get me booted for making another account. It's the whole "cross a boundary to prove the boundary is worthless" deal. Furthermore, why should I let the bullies and liars win? If they win and they get rid of Nangbaby, then I've lost the fight. Once Nangbaby is no more, there is no more me. And as I've said, plenty of these people did truly "infiltrate" and got my personal information; I am literally over six figures in debt in no small part due to their badmouthing, all while they received accolades and made money off bullying me.

I keep my same screen name to keep myself accountable for the things I did in the past. I also hope that one day, people will see these words written against me and say "That is no way to treat anyone you dislike, even if you find what they write objectionable." They can still say I'm a worthless person, but if someone would admit that people lied about me and bullied me and confront them on it, then at least it would shine a light on how to treat people in the future. Disappearing would mean there was no hope that anyone would one day hold people accountable, and no hope that things would change, because it would mean people could drag other's reputations through the mud with impunity.

Apparently, you don't think I've suffered enough to be considered abused. I've seen too many negative posts in comparison to positive ones, and no one thinks I am of any value. That constant reminder of your worthlessness wears on you. One or two positive comments isn't going to cut it compared to the mountains of hate. There needs to be action taken against the attitude that bullying isn't bullying when the victim is someone you dislike, even if I don't benefit from it. Because this has happened to other people and I'm the only one of the people who were bullied left standing.

I'm not saying I want you to be in lock-step agreement with me, but your constantly challenging my of sanity is hurtful and confusing. Why am I unhinged or hysterical to link to and show you abusive words lobbed in my direction? This is not a rhetorical question. I sincerely don't understand how people actually lying about me, ganging up on me, wishing death on me, and insulting me is not abuse to you when it matches the examples of such near-verbatim. If even one person posted to another user the same things that are posted about me, you would be reporting every single instance to Tumblr and raising awareness of the harm these people have caused.

I mean the only answer I can come up with is that I'm not human in your eyes, because I honestly can't understand how you can look at what I've pointed out, see where other people have slurred me and lied about me, and then say "that's not abuse."

wow that nangbaby person is a piece of work I'm glad I missed out by being in class.