#yes the new people know it was the first thing we did when Lucy (friend) and I saw the cat out and about

[alex--blue]

.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman - Part 2

Ona Batlle x Lucy Bronze

Alternate Universe : Military School

Words: 7k

Masterlist

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Monday, October 5th, 6:00 PM - Ona's Room

I groan in displeasure upon hearing a door slam. I take off my headphones, which are no longer playing music. I realize I’ve managed to fall asleep again, and someone has just woken me up. How do I sleep so much? I sometimes wonder. A girl with perfect brown hair has just entered the room. I guess she’s the roommate I was told about.

-  "Oh, sorry if I woke you," she says. "I didn't know you were already here! You're the new one, right?"

-  "Hmm." I make the effort to get up after stretching well. This girl isn't to blame for my bad mood, so I’ll try to be nice for our first meeting. She gives me a smile that shows her perfectly aligned white teeth. I briefly look her over. She seems nice, that's something. She’s not a bimbo, and she’s rather pretty. Probably a girl who turns many heads.

-  « Alexia Putellas" she introduces herself, holding out her hand.

-  « Ona Batlle" I reply, shaking it.

-  "They gave me your stuff," she informs me.

-  "Really?" I look at the clothes I’ve just received, frowning. There are different outfits, each given in triple copies. Tell me this isn’t what I think it is... I look at her to be sure. She’s wearing exactly one of the outfits I’m holding.

-  "No way am I wearing this."

-  "Sorry," she grimaces. "It's in the rules. You'll get used to it quickly, you'll see."

-  "I don't think so, no. I don’t plan on staying."

-  "Oh... I see." I feel like she’s mocking me. She’s immediately less friendly than I thought. I prefer not to comment on her attitude so we don’t start off on the wrong foot. Instead, I focus on what I have in my hands. I observe the set with a look of disgust. Uniforms, seriously! That’s not going to work for me. They’re all in khaki, black, or gray. As dull as this place. It seems like they do everything to demoralize us.

-  "Did they tell you that you have a supervisor or something like that?"

-  "I think so, yes. They mentioned something like that."

-  "Oh, and do you know the person’s name?"

-  "No, they didn't tell me anything," I say, shrugging.

-  "You'll find out tomorrow, I guess. Well, I was going to see some friends before dinner. Do you want to come with me? I'll introduce you."

- "Why not, yes," I reply after hesitating.

It’s not necessarily a good idea, but I’m here now. Might as well try to fit in until I leave. I don’t plan on staying alone either, and making new friends shouldn’t be a bad thing. I just need to be pleasant, but that might be complicated given my mood. Alexia smiles broadly, showing her pleasure. I put the uniforms she brought me into my wardrobe. If there’s one thing I can't stand, it’s people touching my stuff. Thanks to that, I’ve gotten used to putting everything away instantly. Alexia patiently waits for me to finish before we go downstairs. She talks to me about a room I don’t know yet. We reach the ground floor. I thought we’d go outside, but she leads me to an old wooden double door to the left of the stairs. I hadn’t even noticed it when I arrived, which shows how much attention I paid. I was probably too busy being angry with my mother.

-  "Here we are. This is the students’ common room."

-  "The students’ common room?" I repeat.

-  "Yeah, it’s a large break room where we can do whatever we want during our free time."

-  "I thought it was a prison and we had to go back to our rooms..."

-  "Oh no," she giggles. "You’ll see, it’s not that bad in the end. Just stay out of trouble and they leave us alone."

-  "Hmm..." She opens the wooden door, which seems heavy and rusty given how it creaks. It’s impossible to enter unnoticed.

She gives me yet another smile before entering the room first. I discover a large furnished room. Alexia is probably right. The camp might not be as terrible as it looks. There’s a TV, foosball tables, sofas, tables... Basically, a place to hang out. I think I’m going to like this place. I’m surprised people don’t care about our arrival. I expected to be the center of attention for being the new one arriving in the middle of the year, but apparently not. Everyone continues their activities as if nothing happened. There are bursts of laughter, conversations coming from everywhere, and even people with their noses in their books. I don’t know how they can study in this atmosphere. It’s impossible for me. I need calm to concentrate. The room must be well insulated because I didn’t hear anything from the outside. I come back to reality when Alexia stops in front of already occupied sofas. These must be the friends she talked about. The sofas are arranged facing each other with a small table serving as a footrest. I feel uneasy imagining that this group must have known each other for years.

-  "Hola chicas ! I brought some company!"

-  "Hi," I say timidly.

-  "Hey! You must be the new one? Alba, Alexia’s sister. »

OK, that’s clear. I didn’t expect such a warm welcome. They don’t seem at all bothered to see me, on the contrary. Irene smiles just as much as her sister, it seems. I stop analyzing and give a small smile back, introducing myself. I turn to the other two, who seem just as nice at first glance. According to Alexia, they are two inseparable best friends. Their names are Patri Guijarro and Claudia Pina. I learn that the group isn’t complete and that two more people will join us for dinner. I hope they’ll be as nice as these guys. Alexia sits next to her sister on the couch and pats the last spot beside her. I join her, and what I feared quickly happens. I’m subjected to a real interrogation about my city, my age, my class, and more. I answer vaguely to the last questions that became too personal. I don’t like revealing myself. They’ll have to be content with my answers. I’m not very brave, especially with strangers. They seem to understand because they go back to normal conversations. I don’t understand much, but at least they stop asking me questions. Alexia takes the trouble to explain some things so I can follow along a bit. It’s a quarter to six when we head to the cafeteria. We have to walk behind the administration building to get there. The cafeteria is a stone building that has been renovated. It looks like a café with its bay windows and a few tables at the entrance. It’s just a dream scene once you go through the second door. Reality hits with a cafeteria more in line with the school’s image. There are many tables and perfectly aligned chairs. I follow my new friends to the left of the room where a line has formed in front of a large buffet with staff to serve us. It’s early, yet there are already some people. I imitate Alexia by taking a tray and cutlery. She explains the process as we go. It’s similar to the canteen I had in high school, but she seems to enjoy explaining it so much that I don’t dare say anything. When our trays are full, I follow her to a table where two people are already seated. I recognize the principal’s daughter, Lotte, I think. I don’t know the other person, who introduces hermself as Leah Williamson. I sit across from Alexia and the girls quickly join us to start a conversation with the two new people. I’m reassured to see that the atmosphere remains the same as before.

-  "You got caught again Leah, ?" Alba mocks.

-  "Yeah... I got more laps around the field."

-  "That’s what happens when you try to skip out," Alexia laughs.

-  "Laps around the field?"

-  "Oh, yeah! Don’t try to defy the instructors," she warns me. "You’ll regret it quickly!"

-  "Hmm, we’ll see."

-  "Do we have a little rebel here?" Leah comments.

-  "No. I just don’t plan on staying locked up here."

-  "Trust me, I’ve tried everything! There’s no way out," she tells me.

-  "I’m sure," I sigh. This school looks like a prison to me, and Leah, seems to share my opinion. She tells me about all the infractions she's committed. She's the rebel of the group. I finally feel understood by someone. She wants the same thing as I do, and yet she's been here for three years. My dismissal might be more complicated than I hoped. She teaches me a lot by sharing all her crazy ideas for driving the instructors mad. She seems pretty funny. I appreciate that they've integrated me into their group so easily. It's as if I've been with them from the beginning. I even find myself feeling sad when it's time to go back to the room. Alexia is an easy-going girl. I shouldn't have any trouble getting along with her, just like her friends. I hope I won't ruin everything by shutting myself off. I answered many questions tonight, but none about my arrival. It must be a taboo subject because no one mentioned their reasons for being here when it was their turn to talk about themselves. At least I didn't shut down during the evening. I feel better than when I arrived since meeting them. I even continue talking with Alexia on our way back to our room when we discover that we are in the same class. It's good news; at least I won't be alone. She's the only one from the group with me, but it's convenient since we share the same room. I'm sure I'll never get lost at least. It's a bit before ten o'clock when Alexia decides it's time to go to bed. I'm disappointed and far from tired since I slept half the day. I try to change her mind until she mentions the word "curfew." I thought this school couldn't get any worse... That's the last straw. If it were up to me, I'd keep chatting, but Alexia has already turned her back in bed. I resign myself to doing the same, turning off the last light in the room. I try to fall asleep, but it's impossible. I turn countless times in my bed, trying to get there. I feel like the night is going to be long...

Tuesday, October 6; 06:00 - Ona and Alexia's Room.

I jump when the alarm goes off. Well, more like the alarm clock. Damn! I thank Joan at this moment for training me to wake up energetically. I grumble and pull the blanket over my head when the daylight blinds me. It wasn't there a second ago. I guess it's the work of my roommate who is shaking me energetically.

"Move your ass, Ona! Or you'll get busted!" "Hmm."

I don't even know what time it is, but it's way too early for my little body, especially since I fell asleep at two in the morning. She gives up on getting me out of bed and starts moving around farther away. As for me, I can't react. I'm so exhausted that my body doesn't want to move. I even curl up to try and get my sleep back, which isn't hard to return.

Tuesday, October 6 ; 06:30 - Ona and Alexia's Room.

"GET UP, BATLLE!"

I groan, sinking into my pillow. What's with that voice? It could have been very pleasant to my ears if she hadn't raised her tone like that. I tighten the blanket against my face. Whoever it is, I just want to fall back asleep one more time, but I doubt they'll let me do that.

"You have three seconds. ONE," she starts counting down. "TWO. THREE."

Go to hell. This thought comes straight from my heart, if only she knew. She'll have to lift me if she wants me to get up. It only took a fraction of a second for me to feel a draft followed by a wet sensation. I scream in surprise as water runs down my face. I inwardly call my unknown assailant every name I can think of, never imagining I could think such things about anyone. I don't have time to reply verbally before the mattress I was lying on is yanked out from under me, sending my body crashing to the floor. She dared! She dared to throw me out of bed to get me up! I never thought that phrase I was thinking would take on a literal meaning. I violently extricate myself from the situation to stand up. Now I'm wide awake and she's going to regret her actions.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" I shout. "WHO SAYS I'M NOT CARDIAC!"

A pair of emerald eyes I wasn't expecting is fixed on me. I had already prepared a long speech to unleash, but I'm frozen. Who is this girl? She looks so young. I have to look away to hide my discomfort. I take the opportunity to analyze the room. Alexia is no longer there, and her bed is perfectly made. I think I'm in deep trouble. Maybe I should have listened to Alexia when she shook me awake. I turn my attention back to the only person present. She took advantage of my distraction to move closer. She looks angry while I am completely lost. I can't seem to organize my thoughts in the face of her imposing presence and unwavering gaze. I back away to escape her, but an obstacle prevents me. I look down to find the mattress she overturned earlier. I come back down from my emotional high, remembering her actions. The witch!

"So you're the new one," she begins in a surprisingly calm voice. "Know that if you were cardiac, you wouldn't be here."

"What do you know?" I retort bluntly. "And who are you anyway?"

"Your supervisor," she states sternly. "Keep defying me like that, and you'll be doing ten laps around the field."

I start to laugh nervously. I dare to look her up and down to muster some courage. Her, my supervisor? This must be a joke! She's barely older than me. They seriously put a young girl like her in charge of me? They really underestimate me. This girl is going to crack first. She'll soon regret having me under her care, given the hard time I plan to give her. I'll never manage to address her formally, and I sense it's these little details that will irritate her. She furrows her brows and yanks my arm with a sharp gesture, forcing me to follow her. I almost trip over the mattress in the process. She opens my wardrobe without any shame while I watch her, unable to move. I hate it when people rummage through my stuff. She glances through until she finds what she's looking for. She grabs a pair of black jogging pants and a gray T-shirt that's half too big for me and thrusts them against my chest. I catch them with a grunt. She continues searching lower this time to pull out the black combat boots brought with my uniforms. She places them on top of the pile with a khaki jacket with a military pattern. It's a really awful outfit. I grimace just looking at it. I look like I'm in the army.

"I'm not wearing that!"

"Yes, you are. It's in the regulations," she retorts coldly. "I'll give you five minutes to get ready. Then you'll make your bed properly."

"Dream on! I'm not a maid."

"And do you think I am?!" she snaps. "We're not at your service, Batlle. Here, I'm the one in charge. I give an order, and you follow it, period. Is that clear? So now you will listen to me."

I stay silent, taken aback by her tone. I didn't expect to be dealing with this kind of character. She's more authoritative than she appears, or maybe I just didn't see it coming. She yanks my arm again to drag me to the bathroom door. I reluctantly step inside. I'm going to have a bruise soon if she keeps holding me so firmly every time.

"Hurry up. I don't have all day," she snaps.

I slam the door in her face as a response and even go so far as to lock it for some peace. It's the only door with a lock. Maybe I'm annoying her, but she's annoying me even more. She splashed me with water, threw me on the floor, and keeps yelling at me. I get my revenge by taking my time getting ready. If she thinks I'm going to let her push me around! I start by fixing the mess the water made on my face, then brush my teeth. I then put on eyeliner and mascara after applying some cream and foundation. I finish with the hideous sports outfit. I mustn't let myself be intimidated, or I'm done for. I want to get out of here, and I will succeed, even if it means driving her crazy. I take a deep breath while looking at myself in the mirror. I smile, realizing I was right. My T-shirt under the military jacket is slightly too big. They're lucky I like large T-shirts; otherwise, I would have made a fuss. Time to face the tyrant now. If I could, I'd stay locked in. She might be a more formidable enemy than I initially thought. I gather my courage and unlock the door, putting my hands in my pockets. It's not my usual style, but I want to show her I don't care to irritate her further. My plan seems to be working judging by her tense expression.

-  Fifteen minutes for that? Seriously?! she scolds me in a bored tone.

-  I can take more time if you want... Shall I go back? I suggest mockingly.

-  No way, I must be dreaming, she mutters. Hurry up and clean up this mess instead of mocking me! Bingo, I've managed to irritate the little brunette. I hold back my laughter seeing her like this. It's simpler than I thought. Her finger points towards my bed. Now that I pay attention, there's a huge mess. My mattress is on the floor next to my wardrobe, while my quilt is on the other side.

-  You did this, and I have to clean it up?

-  As far as I know, you didn't get up. I wouldn't have done anything if you had followed the rules. And there she goes again. Does she only know that word? No one ever told me anything. I wasn't even informed there was a curfew and uniforms. So I'm definitely not going to know this damn rule.

-  Rules, rules, I mutter. You only have that word in your mouth. How am I supposed to know if no one tells me anything about these damn rules?!

-  What do you mean, you don't know anything?

-  No one ever told me the rules here. I just arrived yesterday! She remains stoic at my revelation. She seems to be thinking before running her hand through her hair with a sigh.

-  Fine, we'll deal with this problem later. In the meantime, keep a low profile and stop talking back.

-  I'm not talking back.

-  Yes, you are. You just did, and it won't go without consequence. Now, stop being smart and clean up this mess. I won't repeat myself. She points to my bed again with a stern look that doesn't make me want to listen to her at all. Yet she seemed friendly for a second, wanting to help me. Her threats seem serious, so I resign myself to follow her orders, starting with putting the mattress back. I then deal with the quilt, quickly making my bed to get rid of her.

-  There. Happy now?

-  No. She messes up my bed with a brusque gesture. I can't believe it. She must be messing with me; it can't be otherwise.

- Why did you do that? What's your problem?! I made your damn bed!

- Firstly, as far as I know, it's your bed. Secondly, I told you to make it square, and it was far from it. Thirdly, I've already told you to stop talking back, and especially, don't address me informally! Now do it again.

She doesn't bat an eye. She has incredibly controlled coldness. I regret listening to her. Now she knows she can do it again. I've lost this first battle, but my next attack will be even more terrible. For now, I show her my obedience and remake the bed. It doesn't look much different from before. I just tried to make the quilt neater by smoothing it out. I stand up to show her I'm done. She doesn't even bother to examine it before messing it up again.

-  No, stop! It was fine!

-  No, I said square. You will redo it until you get it right.

-  Damn it! I don't even know what a square bed is!

-  That's enough. I've warned you enough. You will immediately tone it down, or things will go very badly between us! A palpable tension arises. She is very intimidating in her stance and severe expressions. I promised myself I would stand up to her, so I must do everything not to look away. I'm supposed to be the queen of the staring contest, but it's hard to hold out against her.

-  Do it again, Batlle, she orders.

-  But I'm telling you I can't do it! I get angry. If it's just for you to ruin my work again, it's out of the question!

-  Then all you need to do is ask. I remain incredulous. I expected a sharp retort. She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. Is she mocking me? No way I'm asking her for help! I've never asked anyone for anything, and I'm not starting with her. I've always been free to do as I please. I'm not used to being given orders, let alone asking for help. I quickly had to learn to manage on my own. I bite my cheek as I look at the quilt on the floor. This time it's different. I have no choice but to ask. I don't know how to do it, and she has remarkable composure and patience. She will certainly not be the first to give up. My throat tightens just thinking about the words I'm going to have to say to her.

-  Help me...

-  Can you teach me how to make a square bed, please? she reformulates.

-  Can you teach me how to make a square bed, please? I repeat.

-  Come here, she says. I approach her to reach the foot of the bed.

- Redo it. I look at her incredulously. She rolls her eyes at my immobility.

- Come on, do it. I'll guide you. Understanding better, I comply. She takes her time explaining each fold to make and corrects me when I'm wrong. Finally, I realize it's not that complicated. It's just going to be annoying to have to

do it every morning as she just announced. I stand up and proudly observe my work when I'm done. It was short-lived as she undoes it again without hesitation. My blood boils quickly.

-  You had no right! It was just how you wanted it!

-  I want you to do it all by yourself, she says calmly. I just told you you'll have to do it every morning, so I want to make sure you can do it without my help. It's by doing it again that you learn, right? I roll my eyes. At least she didn't yell at me this time. I control myself and redo my bed the same way. I succeeded, but it's not as perfect as before. I look at her, waiting for her opinion. She doesn't seem angry or anything.

- There you go. I sigh in relief. Phew! I would have been very upset if she had undone it again.

-  Can I go eat now?

-  You should have gotten up in time for that. The service time is over.

-  You're not going to do this to me? It's not my fault I barely slept last night! Breakfast is sacred; you can't take it away from me!

-  I will, believe me. Think about it tomorrow morning; it might motivate you to get up. In the meantime, I have other plans for you anyway.

-  Oh yeah...? I ask, uncertain.

-  Yes. You and I won't be parting ways this morning.

-  Aren't I supposed to go to class?

-  I'm excusing you. I'm your supervisor, which means I have full authority over you. If I decide you're not going to class, that's my prerogative.

-  Basically, you're my hierarchical priority.

-  Exactly. Me and, of course, the principal. Other instructors are instructed to send you to me in case of any issues with you. I'm going to be the person you'll spend the most time with in the coming days.

-  What luck, I say ironically.

-  I think so too. Follow me now, we're going out. I miss classes, what more could I ask for? I'm wary of her intentions. I don't know her yet, but I've already seen her capabilities, and she's not one to joke around. I follow her through the hallways and stairs. She seems to know exactly where we're going. I understand the need for the jacket once outside. It's much colder than in Miami. I must not be used to it because my supervisor doesn't seem bothered by the weather. Her accent doesn't come from here, though. We're heading away from the dorms. I slow down when I realize her intentions at the sight of the gymnasium and sports fields. I don't think and turn around behind her back. I thought I could sneak away until a firm hand catches me in my tracks. I instinctively close my eyes at the contact. Damn! I should have left when I had

the chance! I try to struggle, but it's no use. She increases the pressure on my arm and drags me with her by force.

-  You won't escape, Batlle.

-  Damn it! I did everything you asked! She stops suddenly, making me bump into her before she turns around. I look up to meet her eyes. Bad idea... She scares me even more than before. I can't step back more than a step due to her grip.

-  Yes, you did, but you mostly talked back and addressed me informally. I'm not your friend, okay? I warned you to stop, and you didn't listen.

-  I won't do it again...

-  Oh no, that's too easy! We both know you'll do it again. If I punish you, it's so you'll think twice next time.

-  I promise I won't do it again! I say in a too confident tone.

-  And yet you're continuing, she raises an eyebrow. I want to retort, but I have no argument. I'm talking back and addressing her informally. Damn, she annoys me! It's not my fault she's young and beautiful! I would have preferred to deal with someone ugly and old. At least I wouldn't have trouble seeing her as my supervisor.

-  Okay, the informal address is going to be tough, but-

-  But what? she cuts me off. You're breaking both things I just told you. Not only are you addressing me informally, but you're also talking back and now negotiating?

-  Sorry, I grumble, powerless.

-  When I tell you to do something, you do it and stay quiet, period. Do we agree?

-  I guess, since I have no choice.

-  Fine. She continues on her way, still dragging me along. If it were up to me, I would break free, but I'm not sure she would appreciate that. At least she's loosened her grip. Just enough that I can't escape. She must be the devil incarnate to be ready to do what she's about to do! She makes me lose all my means and defenses. She's trying to unsettle me with her harsh, angry voice. It will be difficult to contradict her because her tactic is working. She will eat me alive and win if I let her. This wasn't at all in my plans. All I want is to get out of here. I fully intend to do so, with or without her on my back. She won't stop me from going home. We're approaching the grassy field. Doesn't she know it's cold? She releases me once we reach the middle of the field. I look around us. From here, you can see the entire camp space until it's bordered by the stone walls. On the other side, the gym blocks the view of the back. I wanted to turn around to see the buildings behind me, but the snap of fingers in front of my nose dissuades me and brings me back to reality. I refocus my gaze on my supervisor, who is waiting for me.

- You are going to do ten laps of the field.

-  Ten laps of the field? Are you kidding me? I scoff.

-  Hurry up. We'll stay here until you've done them all. Don't even think about leaving; I'll catch you before you make it.

-  That's way too much, ten laps! Do you want my death on your conscience or what?

-  Do you want fifteen maybe? I stay silent. She is capable of increasing the amount if I continue. I head to the edge of the field she indicates, not forgetting to sigh and drag my feet. I can't believe what I'm about to do, but I have no choice. She made it clear that there's no way out. If I start running, there's a good chance she'll catch me in no time if she's a bit enduring. I'm far from being an athlete, and on top of that, she has the home advantage. I don't know the camp well enough to hide somewhere. I could get lost or end up in a dead end by mistake. The worst part of this punishment is that she's watching me from her spot with her arms crossed. As if it wasn't already humiliating enough, she has to supervise me, showing her superiority. I stop after half a lap. I'm completely out of breath. I'm not enduring; it was to be expected. I haven't exercised in at least three years. I try to walk, but even that is difficult.

-  Hey, don't stop, she yells from the middle of the field. I said run, not walk!

-  Let me breathe, damn it! I manage to shout between breaths. This time I stop. I bend forward to rest my hands on my thighs. It's so cold that steam is coming out of my mouth. I thought it couldn't get worse, but I start feeling raindrops. This is hell! I will never get used to Manchester. I'm almost sure it's sunny in Barcelona. Plus, I'm certain she'll make me keep running in the rain. She made it clear we won't move until I'm done. We might be here for a long time given how long I'll take. My breathing is far from normal. My heart is pounding, I have a stitch in my side, and to top it all, I'm sleep-deprived, which doesn't help. When I open my eyes, I see a second pair of combat boots in front of me. A few seconds later, a hand rests on my shoulder.

Straighten up. What now? I manage to say. Can't I even breathe? She places her other hand on my other shoulder. I'm so weak that I don't resist when she pulls me up. Her green eyes are examining me. My condition hasn't improved, and I can't change it. Don't expect better from a former smoker.

- Calm down. Of course you can breathe, but not by bending over. Your body needs to be straight to catch your breath better.

Her hand touches my skin above my chest. It's warm, unlike my body. Her other hand still holds me so I don't literally collapse on her. I close my eyes to enjoy this moment of respite and regain my strength. My supervisor asks me to focus on my breathing and her hand following my body's movements. Then she sets a rhythm of inhaling and exhaling out loud. I focus solely on her voice, and I must admit it's effective. She only lets go once she's sure I'm better.-  Good, now keep running.

-  Can't you see I'm not able to? And it's starting to rain!

-  Of course you can, and it's just a few drops. The cloud is already passing.

-  Please, I barely did half a lap, and I'm completely dead! How do you expect me to do ten? At least lower the number!

-  No, I stick to ten. We have all the time, you have until noon. Stop when you can't go on, and I'll help you. You'll face this sanction more than once from me, so you might as well get used to it now. I grumble to myself at the edge of the field while she returns to her spot. To think I'll have to deal with her in the coming days. I'll die if she orders me to do laps every time. I'm already at the end of my rope now. What will it be like in the end? I sigh before forcing myself to resume running to get this nonsense over with as quickly as possible.

Tuesday, October 6; 12:30 PM - Cafeteria

I'm sprawled out like a pancake on the table. I finished my entire meal. It wasn't very good, but I needed it. My stomach was growling from my punishment and my missed breakfast. At least my supervisor was a bit kind. After my laps around the field, she took me to the cafeteria and got us each a chocolate croissant. I think she felt sorry for my stomach, which was growling loudly after my exercise that ended around nine. We stayed on the field for two hours because of me. I'm exhausted; she completely wore me out. "Are you going to be okay?" Pina asks me. "You don't look well." "Yeah," I mumble into my arms. I lift my head to see that I'm the focus of the table's attention. Do I look so terrible that they have to stare at me like that? I don't need their pity; I hate it. "What?" I snap, more sharply than I intended. "You haven't said anything since we started, and you weren't even in class this morning... It's enough to make anyone worry!" Alexia says. "Where were you this morning, anyway?" I ask. "You weren't in the room when I woke up." "Engen sent me to eat after I told her you were the new girl. She said she'd take care of you; there wasn't much else I could do," she explains. "I'm sorry, but I tried shaking you awake and you wouldn't budge!" I can't blame her. She did her best to wake me up. I sleep heavily, and I'm stubborn when it comes to getting out of bed. If I don't wake up on my own, someone has to jump on me like Joan does, or they have to use the radical method my supervisor employs. I realize that Alexia finally gave me her name. So, she's called Engen? She's a real viper. Speaking of her, she passes by the table right now. I glare at her. I follow her with my eyes as she heads to the line to dispose of her tray. I absolutely have to find a way to get back at her. If I don't, she'll eat me alive, and that's not what I want. I don't want to become a well-behaved student who follows all the rules. That's not me. "Is she one of your supervisors?" Patri asks me. "Yeah, the one on the right," I reply, turning back to the table. "Why?" "Ouch, you hit the jackpot," Leah laughs. "Why?"

"Let's just say she's the worst instructor here. You must have quite a file if Wiegman assigned her to you!" Alba comments.

Her, the worst? She's the youngest employee I've seen so far! Her and her companion. Given what happened this morning, I can believe it. I turn to look at her again. I underestimated her. She's not just some young, insignificant staff member... She's the worst. My mother is certainly behind this. She finishes placing her tray and our eyes meet while she waits for her colleague. Oh, the bitch! She smiles at me! She's mocking me! She must be proud to see me crumpled on the table. If she wants a war, she’ll get one! I let her win one battle, but I won’t let her win the next ones. I turn back to the table. I need to know more about her. I need to know everything, or I'm in big trouble.

"What do you know about her?" I ask.

"Her name is Bronze," Lotte informs me.

"I thought it was Engen? At least, that's who woke me up this morning!"

"No," Alexia laughs. "Engen is the one who accompanies her. She’s in charge of checking the senior floor in the morning. They’re partners, so they’re almost always together."

I try to process this new information. I saw Engen this morning. They share an office for the two of them. It makes more sense now that I know they’re partners.

"If Bronze was assigned as your supervisor, Engen probably called her," Leah says. "Everyone gets an assigned supervisor when they arrive. They’re the only person who takes care of us until we adjust," she explains. "Unless they're not available, which is very rare."

"Let me guess... Bronze is never absent?"

"Very rarely," Patri laughs. "I think it happened once in the three years we've been here."

"Great..." I sigh. "So, you all had a supervisor?"

"When we arrived two and a half years ago, yes," Alba responds. "I had Bright. She’s the second partner who supervises our year along with White."

"I don't know them," I admit.

"It’s our third and final year here, so it’s normal that we know all the rules and people," Lotte says. "You’ll get used to it, don’t worry."

"I don’t plan on getting used to it."

"You won’t have a choice with Bronze," Leah chuckles. "I told you we could outwit the instructors, but not the Commander."

"The Commander?" "That's her nickname here," she tells me. "No one can contradict her, not even me." "Well, I'll be the first then."

"Impossible, I’m telling you! Every trick I've found for the others doesn’t work with her! She always... I mean always, has a move ahead of us."

I groan in frustration, letting myself fall back onto the table. Bronze is indeed a demon incarnate. I need to be even more cunning than Leah. It’s very complicated, maybe even impossible.

"Is there anything else I need to know about her, besides the fact that she’s going to make my life a living hell?" I grumble.

"I don't think so," Alba replies. "The instructors don’t talk about their lives. They’re very secretive about it. We don't even know the first names of the new ones."

"Why is that?" "The rules were tightened two years before we arrived." "Okay. So Bronze is the worst?" "The worst of all," Pina confirms. "If we get stuck with her, it’s never a good sign."

So, they’ve figured out that I'm not here for nothing. Fortunately, it’s a taboo topic here. At least I won't be pressured to open up. I like them, but not enough to confide in them when I barely do that with my best friend. I hate my mother, I hate this place. She managed to cut me off from the world. She doesn't understand that I don't want to be anyone's puppet. I just want to be left alone, but that seems like too much to ask. We leave when we’re all done. The stress starts to build as I realize that my first day is approaching. Bronze kept me with her to help with the archiving. I had to go up and down stairs with her, carrying big cardboard boxes. As if the field laps weren’t enough. My legs are jelly because of her. I hope she at least made arrangements with the teachers for this morning. I think she did, but who knows. I sigh as the bell rings. I barely had time to recover from my morning, and now the afternoon is starting. Here’s hoping everything goes well this time.

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 15

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Masterlist

“Another party?”

“Another party” Lucy said while closing the door behind her, the pizzas that had just been delivered on her hands. “That greasy friend of his was coming out of the lift with a girl on each arm.”

“Greasy?”

“Yes, that one who doesn’t know what an encyclopedia is.”

“Oh, you mean Grealish” I laughed.

“Same thing. He has greasy hair, so” she shrugged.

Rúben was throwing a party. Again. Like after every game at home they had had lately. It had become his new favourite thing to do once his parents and Ivan had left for Portugal to continue with his recovery there. 

Most of them lasted until pretty late, but the walls were thick and neither Julia, nor her mum or I, were hearing things we didn’t want to hear. Though most mornings we would cross paths with a different girl leaving his apartment, and it was all because of me. 

The moment I came back from London I went to speak with him, to tell him everything that had happened with Aaron. And he hadn't taken it very well.

“I knew something like this would happen after you hung up. I just knew it!”

“Rúben…”

“No! He took advantage of you, you know? You said it yourself, you have little to no experience with men. He noticed and took advantage of it.”

“He didn’t, Rúben. Like I told you already, I said yes to it, I did it willingly.”

“As if that made it any better” he snorted.

“Rúben…”

“I need to be alone” he said, storming out the door, those words being the last we shared.

“Anyway” Lucy said, bringing me back to the present. “What Chris Evans' movie are we watching today?”

“The Red Sea Diving Resort.” 

While Rúben was partying and doing God knows why, this was what I had chosen to do to cope with what had happened between us: watch Chris Evans’ filmography while it was just Lucy and I at home. It probably was the worst decision ever because he kept reminding me of Rúben and because Chris is a bit… special picking roles. But the time we were spending together was priceless.

“It sounds… interesting.”

“People say it is boring, but I’ve seen gifs online and he looks so hot.”

“Then it’ll be worth it” Lucy said, handing me a beer. “To Chris Evans’ boobs.”

“And America’s ass” I laughed. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Yes, grandma. I’ll go.”

“This may be it, you know?”

“I know. That’s why I’m going. See you next week, ok?”

“Ok. Love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too” I said, hanging up and walking into the lift. The moment it started moving, it made some weird noises, and when I was almost on my floor, it stopped. “Oh, no. No, no, no. Please move.”

But it didn’t. The lift had stopped. 

I pressed my floor’s button again, but nothing was happening. Well, not really. The lights were flickering. 

“No, no, no, no!” I screamed, pressing the emergency button, hoping someone would answer or come see what was going on. But it wasn’t working. Julia had pressed it more than once and it usually made a ring noise. Not today. 

And then, the lights went off. I was in complete darkness.

“This can’t be happening. No, no, no” I said again, unlocking my phone and calling Roger. He had been at the door when I came in, he should be answering. But he didn’t. I tried many times, and he didn’t pick up.

“Ok, breathe. Just breathe” I told myself, my hands shaking. I needed to get out of that lift. 

I tried calling Roger again, but it was pointless. The buttons still weren’t working and I was starting to feel very hot, so I sat down, trying to focus on my breath, closing my eyes and thinking that I was in my room, sitting on my bed, relaxing… But that didn’t work out either.

“Fuck!” I yelled, starting to cry. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” 

I unlocked my phone again, not sure about what I was doing. And then, for the first time in months, I called him.

“Rúben!” I cried when I heard him picking up. “Please don’t hang up, Rúben. I’m scared. Please.”

“Are you ok? What happened, where are you?” 

“Home, stuck on the lift. Please come get me out of here, please” I said between sobs.

“I’m on my way home from training. I’ll be there in ten minutes, ok?”

“Please” I cried.

“Ten minutes. I promise.”

I’m not sure if it took him ten minutes to arrive or not, but it felt like an eternity. When I heard noise above my head, I thought I was dreaming. Or maybe going crazy. But then the lights turned on again, and the doors of the lift slowly started to open.

“I’m getting you out of there, ok?” Rúben said. “I’m here.”

He was the one opening the doors.

“Give me your hand” he said once there was enough space for me to go through. I did as he told me, and I was suddenly flying, finally leaving that damned lift. 

“Rúben” I gasped when my feet touched the floor, hugging him and starting to cry again.

“It’s ok” he said, hugging me back. “It’s ok, you are ok. I’m here.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Feeling better?” Rúben said, sitting on the couch next to me. “You’ve stopped shaking.”

“Yes, I think the tea is helping. Thank you.”

“Of course. Do you need anything else? Do you want me to call Lucy?”

“No, no, it’s fine. Don’t ruin her date.”

“Is she seeing someone?”

“Yep. And she doesn’t want to tell me who he is, which isn’t fair. I’ve told her everything about me and now she is keeping secrets.”

“What about you? Are you seeing someone? Ramsdale, perhaps?” 

“Oh, no. We’ve texted a few times because he wanted to know how I was, but nothing else.”

“I'm sorry about everything I said that day" Rúben said after a few seconds in the most awkward silence ever. "About the way I shouted at you. I shouldn't have done it, I regret it so much…”

“It's ok.”

“No, it isn’t. I had barely slept, then during training Pep had gotten mad at me because I wasn’t focused, and even though it isn’t an excuse, when you told me what had happened in London I just exploded and made you pay for everything. And I shouldn't have done that. You didn’t deserve it, you had done nothing wrong.”

“I made out with another guy and ended up in bed with him.”

“But we weren’t dating, were we?” Rúben said. “And we hadn’t discussed if we were exclusive or the type of relationship we had.” 

“I guess, yeah.”

“I’m sorry” he said again. “I really am. If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would. ”

So would I, I said to myself.

“What about the parties, tho?” I dared to ask. After his apology and basically clearing out things between us, I needed to know if he was seeing someone. If he had moved on. “Would you also change that?”

“Definitely.”

“Really? You all seemed to be having lots of fun.”

“Nah.”

“Then none of those girls you were with made the cut?” I said, arching an eyebrow. He noticed and answered like I expected: with that smirk of his, making the last bits of the knot in my chest disappear.

“They are Jack’s friends. Very hot, but if you ask them about... I don't know, Stradivarius, their first thought is the shop, not the violins. They’ve probably never heard about the violins, to be honest.”

“Rude” I chuckled.

“But it is the truth. Do you want another one?” he asked after I left my mug on the table.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“I’ve missed you, you know? This. Us.”

“I’ve missed you too” I said, looking up at him. God, I had missed him. I had missed him so much. Seeing him in photos from the games or in training wasn’t the same as having him here, in the flesh, just a few centimetres away from me. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Please.” 

And before I had time to blink, he was already doing it. And it was a movie worth kiss like all his kisses were. 

“Rúben” I whispered between kisses, both of us laying on his sofa. “Let’s go to your room.”

“What?” he said, lifting his head from my neck and looking at me. 

“I want to go to your room.”

“Are you… are you sure?”

“Yes. C´mon” I said, getting up.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You can stop me whenever you want” Rúben said, kissing my stomach.

“I know. I've heard you the other eighty times you’ve said it” I giggled. 

“Just eighty?” he said while looking up at me, that smirk on his face.

“Eighty-one with this. And again, I’m telling you I don’t want you to stop. I want to do it. All of it. And I want to do it with you.”

[givemea-dam-break]

okay so, consider this: jealous George

hasn't been done much, and jealousy is one of my favourite tropes. I'm thinking friends to lovers (obv) and you're free to make it as angsty as possible, as long as we get a happy ending :))) and you know what would probably hurt him most? When he's jealous of Lockwood bc he gets along so well with reader, maybe they just have a borderline-flirty dynamic (all platonic ofc) and George just has to watch and know he's never gonna be able to be like this (angst angst angst)

AND to make it MORE angsty maybe reader is really reserved around george but only bc she is so nervous (he doesn't know that ofc!!)

AND how about George confides in Lucy at some point that he thinks lockwood and reader might be into each other and she's like "uh yeah no, lockwood and I are dating"

Just throw in whatever cliché trope you can think of in there, i love them all

a/n: I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA OMFG YES THANK YOU!!!!!! jealousy is also one of my favourite tropes it’s great but i haven't actually written it all that much so i hope you enjoy! this isn't very angsty because i actually struggled with the plot for this, but hopefully you still like it lol

warnings: mild language words: 3.9K female reader taglist: @flashbackwhenyoumetme @irisesforyoureyes @aayeroace @waitingforthesunrise @ettadear @mirrorballdickinson @ella23116 (let me know if you want added to my taglist!)

Touch - George Karim

George had a habit of staying up late on nights where it was unnecessary.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t sleep, but rather the fact that he didn’t want to until he was sure that everything was all right. When the agents of Lockwood and Co. returned to 35 Portland Row, safe and – mostly – unharmed, he could relax.

Well, he frankly could care less what ego-fulfilling stories Lockwood had to tell upon his returns or the colourful and new swear words Lucy had learned from Skull. It was (name) he waited up for.

Out of the three of his friends, (name) was the one who understood him most. She never pushed for him to speak when he didn’t feel comfortable. She always listened to him ramble on, whether it be for a case or purely out of interest in something, with her full attention, letting him speak for as long as he wanted, smiling and nodding as he did so. He felt most like himself with her around.

So, there he sat in the living room, glancing between the book in his lap and the front door, waiting for the familiar rattle of the doorhandle. It was cast in shadow, with only a thin streak of light cutting across it from the flickering crystal skull lamp in the hallway. Lockwood really needed to swap out the bulb.

When the tell-tale jingle of keys and the quiet clatter of the handle sounded, he sat up slightly and watched as she crept in as silently as she could. That was another thing George liked and appreciated about (name) – the fact that she was considerate for the other people in the house late at night. After a case, Lockwood would come in noisily, shutting the door behind him a little too loudly, and Lucy would be stomping around on too-creaky floorboards in her clunky boots. But (name) was always quiet.

It felt like George’s heart skipped a beat when she flashed him one of her enchanting smiles, paired with a little wave. Although the smiles were always reserved, edging on shy and nothing more than a curve of the lips and a sparkle in her eyes, it made his insides feel all warm and fluttery. The sensation had been new to him in the beginning, those first few times she’d smiled at him after she had been hired, but now it was something he yearned for. His days didn’t feel complete without it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but footsteps shook the stairs and, all of a sudden, Lockwood was there, arm draped over (name)’s shoulders.

“How was the case?” he asked, grinning.

(name) leaned against him as she tugged off her ectoplasm-spotted boots. “Couldn’t even call it that. Mrs Tilden, as sweet as she is, forgets that she can’t actually hear ghosts, and that the neighbour’s cat yowls whenever it gets too cold. I would’ve been back sooner, but all the night cabs were taken, and I didn’t feel like riding back with Kipps and his lot.”

“Well, you’re here now. Fancy some tea? Boiled the kettle not long ago.”

“That’d be great,” she said. When her eyes, sparkling in the dim light, turned on George, he found himself stuck to the spot. “Do you want some, George? I got some of that tea you really like this morning.”

And, as much as George wanted to agree, he couldn’t help but look at Lockwood and the way he so easily stood with her, holding her close and grinning. It should be George there. It should be him she leaned on after a case, him that made her tea and asked her how it went.

No, no. His feelings didn’t entitle him to her or her time. Besides, she and Lockwood had been friends since childhood, separated for a few years for educational reasons, so it was a given that they’d be close. He just wished it didn’t make his throat ache every time he saw them like they were now, standing close and laughing. Something he so longed to do, but didn’t know if he could.

So, he simply said, “No, thanks, I’m about to head up to bed.”

She smiled at him once more, the shadow of a grin hiding in the corners, and nodded before following Lockwood down to the kitchen, joking about the infamous Cat of Mead Place. Her voice seemed to reverberate through the walls and into George’s very being as he stared down at the book in his lap, the page long since lost in his distraction.

Heaving a sigh, he gently closed it and set it upon the coffee table, then trudged up the stairs to his room.

--

“So, you think that our ghost is the killer? That’s interesting. From the description, I would’ve figured it’d be the victim. Makes sense, though.”

George nodded, trying not to focus on the soft scent of lavender and something flowery as (name) leaned closer to him, studying his notes and findings. He really hoped she couldn’t hear the furious pounding of his heart.

“Well, it was the murderer’s house,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose a little. “It’s very likely that, even if it’s the old remains of the victim, it’s the killer’s source. Remember that bit in Hackney? Old teeth in a jar, but it was the source for that murderer.”

(name) shivered. “Don’t remind me. Still have nightmares about that guy.” She shuffled her chair slightly closer, casting George a short glance, before pulling one of the newspaper copies over. “Natalie Greymouth tried and imprisoned for the murder of her six children, later to – Wait, six children? So, in between all these other murders she committed, she was also popping out babies and killing them?”

Huffing a laugh, George said, “Suppose the kids distracted people from the fact that she was a cold-blooded killer.”

At that, (name) snickered, and a spark travelled down George’s spine as he watched her. The way she grinned as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, how her cheeks flushed for only a moment. It wasn’t until she turned her head to look at him, much closer than she had been before, that George felt stuck for breath.

Her smile slowly softened into something shyer, more private, as she became aware of the small space between them, but as quick as thought she turned away again, focusing back on the documents in front of them.

Hope had begun to form in that short moment, and it had tasted sweet, but it became bitter as Lockwood and Lucy burst through the kitchen door with bags of goods from Satchell’s. Lucy slid behind George’s seat, dumping an additional shopping bag filled with food on the kitchen counter.

“Hard at work I see,” Lockwood said with a grin. He leaned down over (name)’s shoulder, scanning the notes sprawled everywhere. “Makes no sense to me. I trust you guys have a lead on what we’re walking into later?”

George could feel his throat burn at the sight of them, but he swallowed the feeling down and looked away. “Yeah. We’ll give you the run down on the way.”

He tried his best not to look when Lockwood squeezed (name)’s arm. He tried even harder to ignore the grin she sent his way, so unlike anything she’d ever shown George, but it was impossible. It felt like trying to pretend that Skull wasn’t on the countertop making the most horrid faces ever. The action only ever drew his eye.

Her smile lit up any room she was in, and he hated that it wasn’t directed at him but instead Lockwood. Lockwood, who everyone attached themselves to – (name), Lucy, Flo Bones, the public. Everyone. Well, except for Quill Kipps and his Fittes lot, but George didn’t want them. He only wanted her.

--

“We’re splitting up.”

“Worst idea ever. I don’t like the look of this place.”

Lockwood snorted. “You never like the look of any of the places we’re hired out to.”

“Lie,” (name) said. She looked up at the towering house before them. “There was that one bit in Camden, remember? With the really nice, frosted glass windows in the door.”

“Before Lucy crashed into it and smashed the glass.”

Lucy went bright pink. “I don’t think that’s our focus for today.”

George watched as Lockwood nudged (name) with his elbow, eliciting a laugh from her, and tightly said, “Lucy’s right. We need to get this case over with. And pairs sound good – too much room to cover as one group. (name), I’ll go with you.”

For a moment, the rush of blood in his ears was all he could hear. What if she said no; that she wanted to pair up with Lockwood instead? George didn’t have anything against Lucy, but it got  unnerving hearing her one-sided conversations with Skull. He was never sure if she was insulting him or the glowing ghost in the jar. And they’d probably end up bickering as they often did which wouldn’t help this case run smoothly at all.

But (name) nodded and offered him that delicate smile. “Sounds good. Think I’ve got some ideas of where we might find our source.”

“Care to share?” Lockwood asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“No.”

“I’m your boss. You’ve got to tell me.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Yes, you –“

“Let’s go,” George interrupted. His fingers were beginning to twitch. “Before it gets dark.”

And so, they did. While Lucy and Lockwood trudged inside and up the looming staircase in the centre of the house, George and (name) crept through the ground floor, taking temperatures and using their Talents. He did try, really he did, to not linger on thoughts of her and Lockwood, of their lingering laughs and smiles, but it became increasingly harder the quieter they stayed.

“So, what are your ideas for finding the source?” he asked, trying to break the silence that had grown between them.

Usually, George would’ve preferred the quiet, but this was choking. Every moment his mind strayed from the task at hand, it drifted over to the horrible ache in his chest and the twitching of his fingers caused by what could only be described as jealousy. Jealousy! God, even thinking it made him mad.

Why was he jealous? Because someone he had never explicitly admitted to liking was showing an interest in someone else? Because someone else would squeeze her arm or nudge her, when even tapping her shoulder to get her attention felt like it would make George implode?

(name)’s fingers brushed over an old vase, and she lifted it up, turning it in her hands. “Going to use my Touch on very specific things. This lady died, what, five years ago? And her nephew took this house, so he likely would’ve thrown out most, if not all, of the things belonging to her. So, we need to find the obscure things.”

“Like that restaurant with the porcelain egg cup as a source?”

“Exactly like that. The stuff no one would expect a ghost to connect to.” Her grin then was unlike the ones she shared with Lockwood, and though it was rather self-approving, George found himself drawn to it. It was something he experienced that Lockwood might not have. “Georgie, you’re going to find the strangest things in this room, and I’ll have a feel. This was one of our theories for the primary haunting, right?”

The words clogged in his throat. Georgie. It repeated over and over and over in his head as he swallowed the feelings that were building up. “Yeah.”

He glanced around the office they had ended up in and took the temperature, finding it as the lowest on the ground floor. It was a moderately sized room with a massive desk cutting through the centre with chairs either side. The desk itself was neatly organised with folders and pens all gathered in holders. An expensive-looking computer had gathered dust since the owner’s rushed departure a few days ago. Rather unassuming, on the whole, but that was exactly what she wanted.

“We’ve got an hour until sundown,” he said, peeking out of the large window. “I’ll watch your back.”

Together, they picked out a selection of seemingly strange things from around the office. An envelope rack; a rather rusty metal pen; a little glass horse ornament plucked from a display case, among many other things. But (name)’s hands lingered over a photo frame. It was a simple thing made from light-coloured wood, and the picture inside showed the owner of the house and his partner, so it was the last thing George would’ve suspected. This was what she was for, though, he remembered. Her gut instinct was much better than the rest of Lockwood and Co.’s.

“Be careful,” George murmured. “We don’t want another repeat of Lucy and Annabelle Ward.”

There was that delicate smile again, and his heart skipped a beat.

With a firm grip, (name) took the frame in her hands and shut her eyes. George could only watch in silence as she used her Talent, unused to having nothing to do in the meantime, and found himself staring. She was wearing the jumper Lockwood had gotten her for her birthday a few months ago, which had George chewing the inside of his cheek, but it was hardly his main focus. Not when the sunlight peeking through the curtains was highlighting her skin just so, emphasising little details he had only ever seen when they would research together, and he’d get distracted and stare. The implication of another smile in the corners of her lips, the curl of her lashes against slightly rosy cheeks.

After a few moments of frowning in such a way that left George with a smile tugging on his lips, her eyes fluttered open, and a proud grin split her mouth. George’s knees felt a little weak.

“Bingo. This used to have a photo of our ghost Natalie with her six kids before she killed them inside. Who’d have thought?”

It took George a minute to reply. His brain felt muddled, what with the brightness of her smile and the feeling in his chest. “I’ll go get the silver net. Our bags are still in the hall.”

“Lockwood will be well chuffed we found the source so quick.”

A moment of hesitation. One George hoped she hadn’t caught, but as he stepped towards the door, (name)’s smile melted into something more concerned.

“Are you all right?”

“Hmm? I’m fine.”

“George, what’s wrong? You were fine literally ten seconds ago and now you, well, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

George shook his head. “(name), honestly, I’m fine.”

“Did I say something? God, what have I said in the last, what, two minutes? Um…”

She muttered under her breath as she tried to think, and George really did try to push the burning feeling in his throat down. The embarrassment that, even though it was the two of them working down there on the case, she immediately thought of Lockwood. What more did he expect? He was nothing more than the second choice to most people – no, third. Fourth even. Hell, he was the last choice, and he should’ve realised that (name) would see him that way, too.

“It’s you and Lockwood,” he blurted.

And he regretted it immediately.

(name) looked over at him then, eyes slightly widened, and mouth parted. “What?”

He could only shrug as he looked away from her. “I just – I don’t know. Lockwood is the one everyone finds the most interesting, and I’d hoped that for once that someone might choose me.”

“You thought I would…”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence for him to know what she meant. George didn’t know how to explain the feeling that encompassed his very soul at that moment. It felt like drowning, in a way. Like these feelings he’d fought so hard to keep at bay were filling his lungs rapidly and stopping him from breathing. His head was submerged, and he couldn’t think clearly. He couldn’t do anything but feel these horrible emotions so acutely that it was painful.

“I’m sorry. I get that you and Lockwood are close. Well, you’re probably together and I’ve just never realised!”

He didn’t realise how much saying the words out loud could hurt. But he was right, wasn’t he? With all of their shared smiles and jokes and how they always stood close, there was no way they weren’t… a thing. George had just been too blind to see it.

“George.”

“Don’t. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“George! Shut. Up,” she hissed.

Words caught in his throat, shocked by the harsh tone and the expression on her face. Brows furrowed; eyes narrowed – she was angry at him!

“Look, I am sorry, but I don’t get why you’re mad at –“

She stormed over and slapped her hand over his mouth. The touch made him jump, and the close proximity of their faces had his treacherous heart pounding in his chest. Why? Why did it have to do that?

“Listen,” she whispered, and she gestured to the side with her head.

George slowly turned his gaze to the large table where he could now hear a faint click, click, click. When he looked, his heart lurched for a moment, and he saw one of the pens in the holder move slightly. The button at the end, the one that would bring the nib out, clicked open, then shut, then open. A few papers in one of the many folders fluttered despite the absence of a draft.

“Poltergeist,” he uttered beneath her hand. He tried not to focus on how soft it was, or how the soap she’d used smelled very different from the one Lockwood had bought for him.

She nodded soundlessly, and her hand lingered for a moment before moving back to her side. “Move quietly to the door.”

It was a good plan. If they moved silently and slowly, they’d be able to make it out to their kitbags and secure the source seeing as poltergeists were essentially blind. But George could feel its invisible presence hovering over them like a horribly cold and scratchy blanket, and the house was an old one. As soon as he took a step back, a floorboard creaked.

He and (name) froze and, for a minute nothing happened. Then the clicking stopped and the pen rattled in the holder. The temperature of the room felt like it had dropped five degrees within a mere second and, although George’s Listening was nowhere near the standard of Lucy’s, he swore he could hear a faint voice calling out some names.

Another step back, and the mistake was made. The door to the office slammed shut, rattling the bones of the house. Lockwood’s voice echoed from somewhere above, calling their names.

Shit.

He should’ve paid attention to the room growing colder or the sun setting outside instead of watching (name) when she’d used her Talent. Maybe then they wouldn’t be stuck in this position, facing off with a ghost that they couldn’t see nor could they harm without securing the source. And, well, they had no way of doing that now with their bags stashed outside.

(name) was the first to move. Light-footed on the floorboards, she tugged on the door handle, but it didn’t budge. George could feel her panic as strongly as he felt his own, and he realised with dread that they were only feeding into the ghost.

The clicking resumed, and (name) shuffled over to George again, hand on her rapier. It would prove useless in this situation.

“For your information,” she whispered. “Me and Lockwood aren’t a thing. He and Lucy are.”

George’s gaze snapped over to her, and she offered a soft albeit nervous smile. “I don’t think now is the time for that conversation.”

“Oh, come on, admit you’re relieved. Also, you didn’t happen to stash a silver net in your pocket did you?”

Yes, he was relieved. He didn’t think he’d ever been more relieved in his life than he was in that moment, knowing that she wasn’t with Lockwood. He was confused for a moment, wondering how he hadn’t ever seen the connection between Lockwood and Lucy, but it was overtaken by the sheer happiness that (name) wasn’t in a relationship with their best friend. And, no, he hadn’t thought to stuff a net in his pocket.

The jealousy that had reared its ugly head in his chest dissipated entirely when her hand slipped into his, warm in the horrid freezing temperature in the office.

“How are we getting out of here?”

George wasn’t sure. He wasn’t Lockwood. He didn’t come up with reckless plans that saved their lives while inadvertently endangering them at the same time. He didn’t destroy houses in the process.

Well…

“You any good at throwing chairs?”

--

Hours later, George was still shaking glass out of his hair over the kitchen bin at 35 Portland Row.

Lockwood was standing over the kettle as water boiled, waiting to make cups of tea for everyone as Lucy slapped a plaster on a cut on his forehead. Apparently, after hearing the office door slam, the two of them had rushed down the stairs, only for the carpet the ran down the centre of them – for whatever posh, middle-class Londoner reason – slipped out of place, presumably because of the Poltergeist, sending Lockwood toppling. He whacked his head off the corner of the wall, earning a pretty nasty cut and a possible concussion. Lucy had come off scott-free, but Skull’s silverglass jar had a dent in the top.

(name) and George on the other hand were covered in little shards of glass that nicked them every now and then after sending a chair through the office window and leaping out into the flower bushes right outside. Thank god they’d been on the first floor.

Ever since that moment in the office, that one where (name) had told him about Lockwood and Lucy, the one where she held his hand, it had become blatantly obvious how wrong George had been about everything. Even now, he could tell that the energy that she and Lockwood shared was nothing like the one Lockwood had with Lucy. How hadn’t he noticed sooner?

Frankly, he didn’t really care about that now. He was too caught up on the phantom touch of her hand in his and the smiles she kept sending his way.

She’d held his hand in the taxi on the way home, claiming it was just because the poltergeist had freaked her out, but he had a feeling that wasn’t the entire truth. (name) was one of the bravest people he had ever met, so a poltergeist wasn’t going to be the thing to shake her out of the norm. But George didn’t mind.

He hadn’t ever been big on being touched, disliking the way it made his skin feel, but he found himself staying close to her, aching to hold her hand again. And, judging from the twitch of her fingers, the way they inched closer to his when he sat next to her, he figured she felt much the same.

And, with a smile, he wrapped his hand around hers, enjoying the feeling of her skin against his.

[brights-place]

Hey, do you write for Hobo Heart and Homicidal Liu? If yes, could we get some hcs for Liu or Hobo? :) Thx!

Dating Hobo-Heart and Liu Headcannons + Sully

Pairings: Hobo Heart and Homocidal Liu (Seperate)

Warnings: Cursing, Mental Illnesses, D.I.D, Sully being a little bitch- I mean awesome friend!

A/N: Wassup! Sorry for you request taking about so long to write I have been focusing on my socials but glad I finally got this out due to having it in my drafts for awhile to upload! Tbh hobo heart needs more love! LIKE PLEASE HE’S A SWEETIE PIE! Ignore the fact that they are all murders for a moment yall shush AND I MEAN SHUSHHHH!!! Anywyas hope you enjoy this gift :>>

Liu

- Due to having D.I.D I think he would find it difficult sometimes maintaining Sully.

- he hated the fact he fell for you… he loves you yes but you didn’t deserve him he thought you deserved better.

- If you are having an breakdown he would be there faster then sonic exe.

- When you are bored you two decide to walk around in the woods together hand in hand as you blabber on about things you like or something that happened.

- You two ended up dancing in the rain one time while some soft music played in the background. It really was like an romantic scene.

- you two got sick after but it was so ducking worth it.

- whenever he would switch he would bawl his eyes out cause he didn’t like you being around sully.

- sully is seven years old for god sakes but is an menace so you try your best to relax the other alter in Liu is body.

- Sully loves talking to you about what Liu says about you all the time.

- You and Sully at night time like to gossip and shit talk people but liu doesn’t know cause he is asleep.

- Give liu all the love he deserves after everything he's been through

- make sure your close to Jeff since he finds bonds with family are important and knows that he can trust you

- if you ever want to make his day. Just be there in the room he will immediately park up and will tell you his worries

- if you wanna make him even happier cut off Jeff’s head and bring it to Liu that man would panic but at the same time he happy

- if you do cut off Jeff’s head… Sulky would complain about how he wasn’t the one who did it

- he made you an playlist for your anniversary and you cried cause he put down all your favourite songs

- he learned how to make flower crowns with Sally and Lifeless Lucy. He gave you said flower crown and you bawled your eyes out.

-More earth and nature tones and aesthetics. It reminds him of his childhood, where he grew up by a creek.

- Being from New Orleans he loves music mainly Jazz and Pop

- He has violent impulses even when he was a kid and before the… incident

- but he would never take it out on you. If he ever did he would lock himself up and yell at himself.

- When sully gets violent you use the spray bottle

- Liu hates his scars with an burning passion.

- kiss his face, kiss the scars to make him feel whole atleast he will hold you tight.

- He knows how to play the alto-Sax Idk why HE JUST DOES!

- When his scarf ripped he panicked so much.

- you sewed it back up/or knitted it back together he was so happy he wouldn’t stop peppering your face with kisses

- He HATES absolutely HATES seeing people give him looks for his scars.

- Even though Liu/Sully's normally never seen with anything covering his face. Sometimes when Liu/Sully gets insecure he puts on a mask to cover his stitches in public to avoid getting stares and causing a scene.

- He’s the type of guy who would take your heels (if your an woman or identify as one) and give you his own shoes and will walk barefoot even if it’s painful as shit he would do it for you.

- Liu can cook like an fancy ass rich chef. He’s one of the main people who cook for dinner, and lunch

- Liu isn't very open his emotions when you first started to date. you need to take things slow and let him open up when he's ready for it.

- Asking about his brother isn't something you should do at this point, its a very touchy subject.

- he likes nature walks but he also likes late night drives

- it’s an thing you both would do if you had free time together.

- He loves holding you close to him.

- he doesn’t want to lose you and neither does sully… even if he won’t admit it Sully loves the gossip night time sessions.

Hobo Heart

- He doesn’t want to be hurt again…

- yet he fell for you

- he found it difficult and hard he was stressed out not wanting to have these feelings that he had before.

- he was wary and didn’t understand at all

- He has REAL trust issues

- he needs constant validation and reassurance, and he needs you to give him that he craves it.

- I know DAMN FUCKING WELL! That his love language is Acts of Service and Quality Time

- He's a really careful and analytical guy so the fact that he's dating you means he trusts you A LOT

- He doesn’t show much affection due to not understanding it at all.

- But if needed to comfort you secretly and the most subtle way possible he will hold your pinky with his pinky.

- He literally stole someone’s heart and offered it to you.

- (if your an Cannibal) he would also steal the organs for you but leave the kidneys for Jack

- he doesn’t like cooking but he LOVES baking.

- If your sad he would make you some sweets and give you some.

- Him and Sally which is an rare sight making sweets for her tea party.

- you caught them when you came back earlier from an misson.

- he loves flying into the sky when the sun is about to set or rise and likes taking you up with him.

- he worries that you will leave him so he will try his best for you NOT to leave him

- you always assure him about it and pepper kisses on his face.

- he made you an boquet of flowers from what he found in an persons garden and around the woods.

- it took 4 hours for him to find the Right flowers

- He'd protect you from any threat coming his way and put you above anyone else and everything else

- You get hurt?

- he will fly away from the scene with you in his arms or he will ruin an bitch and tear them to shreds

- He loves going on walks with you

- Whenever he's stressed out he likes knowing that you're there with him, and holding your hand is the perfect way for him to do that.

- he hates how he didn’t find you sooner

- He loves his dog so if his dog likes you he would like you too

- he melted when you two met and it was the best thing for Hobo Heart to see.

- It takes a little while for him to be openly vulnerable with you, but when he did, you're thoughts about his never changed, if only it made your feelings for him stronger and the same goes for him when he first met you.

- you wanted to dance in the rain? Hell no he wouldn’t want to get sick or see you get sick.

- He ended up dancing with you in the rain and flying towards the sky above while you danced around happily

- He loves watching you just talk about things you like and hate it let’s him get to know more about you

- Ocassionally you two like going out for picnics. You prepare everything and go to the nearest park to eat. Then, you sit on the grass and see the sunset together.

- he loves playing with your hair or you playing with his it makes him relax

- his wings are like an weighted blanket so he likes using it as an blanket for you when your cold

- He loves and cares for you something he felt once but got ruined.

- but you changed it for him. He will forever be in your debt for taking him out of his sad sink while and made him open up more around you and some others.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Sorry if I sent too much asks :<

Anyway.

Can you write something for the Guardian Angel AU?

Maybe… Their first, totally not a romantic date rock concert activity and the aftermath? (Write the after if you want to)

No you're fine!! Send more 😈 lol

You have no idea how much I want to write for this au my friend. Of course I'll do their non-date date concert 😎

Today was the day. Adam could do this he wanted this so badly he woke up early with a mixture of excitement and anxiety swirled around inside of him. Adam had showered, shaved, had a little bit of breakfast, which was just a banana but whatever his stomach was in knots.

Him and Lucifer were going to go to his favorite bands concert tonight, Something he has always wanted to do.

But the people, oh the people! What if there's a lot of people!!

Luci will be there.....

Adam flushed, Lucifer was his first friend in years, he didn't want to ruin it with his silly feelings. Besides..... He's just doing his job as a therapist and being a good friend..... He couldn't possibly like him back.

A knock on his door tore him from his thoughts. Adam answered and Lucifer was standing there smiling at him. "You ready to go? Did you eat?"

"Yes." It wasn't a lie.

"What did you have?"

"A banana."

"And?"

Damn. Adam just smiled kinda guilty, he knew he should have more but eh. "Not hungry." Of course his stomach chose that moment to growl. Traiter.

"We can get some food there. You still want to go?" Lucifer knew how important this was to Adam and it would be a great milestone if he did it.

Adam felt the claws of his anxiety dig into his skin, a familiar itch crawling up his spine needing to be soothed.

He ignored it.

"Yeah, let's go."

The drive there was good, this was the farthest away from home Adam had been in years. He could feel the excitement start to push for the main feeling but it was hard.

What if something happened like at the supermarket? Adam would die, he'd be so far from home.

When they got there Lucifer and Adam checked in with their tickets. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know..... There's a lot of people." So many people.......

"Who also love what you love. Rock and roll. They all want the same thing we do, to enjoy the music." Lucifer held out his hand. "If you need to, you can hold my-" Lucifer didn't even finish his sentence before Adam took his hand in his squeezed it. "Hand. It's gonna be okay. Let's go find out seats."

Adam let Lucifer guide him to their seats. Adam nearly had a heart attack when he bumped into a girl.

"Oops! I'm sorry, sir I didn't see you there."

Adam gave a wobbly smile. "It's okay, accidents happen."

Lucifer gave him a thumbs up with his free hand. Adam could feel his heart pounding, there were so many people! He squeezed Lucifer's hand who squeezed back.

When the music started, it was like all of Adams anxiety was washed away. He focused on the performance and lost himself in the music, smiling the whole time.

While Adam watched the singer, Lucifer watched Adam and couldn't feel more proud of him. He felt a warmth bloom in his chest as he saw Adams smile on full display.

A breathtaking view.

Lucifer could see the joy radiating from Adams honey brown eyes, the sides of his eyes crinkled from his smile. The happiest Lucifer had seen him since he came to earth.

After the concert Adam gushed about how amazing it was. "And did you SEE that stage dive!? That guy is insane!" Lucifer just listened intently with a smile of his own on his face.

Happiness suited Adam, he wanted him to be happy always. To see him this animated, eyes so bright, smile so wide and body language open and free. It looked good on him.

When they finally got back to the apartment building Adam turned to Lucifer, his smile never left his face. "Thank-you for tonight, Luci." Adam pulled him into a tight hug.

This was the first time that Adam initiated contact that wasn't his hand. 'Luci' was new too. Lucifer felt his face get warm.

Adam was just too damn cute.

"You're welcome Adam. I'm glad you had a good time." He hugged him back.

Adam had his eyes closed, the scent of Lucifer's shampoo wafted into his nose. How did he always smell like apples?

Adam couldn't remember the last time he had a nice hug like this. He almost didn't want to let go.

But he did.

"Here I'll send you the picture." Adam texted Lucifer's phone. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it." Lucifer said and Adams cheeks tinted pink. "Sleep well."

"You too, night Lu!" And with that Adam was back in his apartment and Lucifer went to his, he sighed happily when he shut the door. He checked his phone and smiled even wider.

The picture of him and Adam at the rock concert looking overjoyed.

Lucifer was so printing this one out and putting it on the wall.

[collectionoftulips]

So I was rereading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (still working my way through the reread) and I went with a friend to see the new movie and here are some thoughts on Lucy Gray and Snow and all that stuff, in case anyone is interested, particularly the differences made between the book and the movie.

The first thing that stood out to me was the difference between (from what I could tell) book!Lucy Gray and movie!Lucy Gray. In the book, I think that Lucy Gray is much more of an ambiguous character compared to how she was in the movie (I wonder if it was to help make the main message of the film clearer (in classic 'beat you over the head with the metaphor' Hollywood fashion)). There is so much emphasis placed in the beginning of the book on how Lucy Gray adjusts her appearance, how she makes sure that she looks as good as she can - a tendency that is clearer in the book when she and Snow more overtly also strategise what she should sing when she's on television. The book makes it clear that they have had discussions about what she might or might not perform to get as many sponsors as possible before the event and he is surprised when she ends up singing something other than what they had discussed. To me, it felt like that the book spent more time showing us how similar they are to each other by showing how they manipulate people through impression management. Lucy Gray in the books is okay with singing for strategy, while in the movie, she insists on maintaining some sort of 'authenticity' by only singing when she is inspired to do so.

Something to acknowledge, of course, is that Snow is a character who fundamentally trusts no one. He is aware of Lucy Gray's tendencies and perhaps they are overemphasised to us as the reader because in the book we spend so much time in his head. Perhaps the ambiguity around Lucy Gray is merely a reflection of Snow's suspiciousness, but I like to think that she is similar to Snow in that she knows that there is power to being likeable to the right people and sometimes that's the only card you can play when the odds are stacked against you (Snow's sense of being wronged is obviously much more a product of his own delusion, while Lucy Gray's is much more real). It might be counter-intuitive, but I think having Lucy Gray and Snow be more similar on that level would make the deeper themes of the movie clearer: discussions of 'human nature' is fairly reductive and people have the capacity of both good and evil, sometimes at once, and if you assume the worst in people on your quest to power, you will probably draw that out but also that's how you become a ruthless dictator.

The fundamental difference between Lucy Gray and Snow in the end is that Lucy Gray believes in the good in people, and Snow does not.

So why am I going on about this? Well, partly because these thoughts have been floating around in my head, but also in terms of the romance aspect of the film, I thought it might have some potentially interesting implications. Mainly, do I think that the romance between Lucy Gray and Snow was genuine? Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that they did have a connection and whatnot, but also no for a few reasons. Firstly, because I think one of the main aspects of why Snow becomes attracted to Lucy Gray is because his vanity is flattered. He likes the idea that this now immensely popular girl likes him, that he managed to win her over, that despite that he's Capitol and part of the Games, she trusts him. He likes the idea of the romance, once he gets to District 12 (I'm not there at the rereading yet though) it's not like that he has a lot else to do, and it would make sense for him to try carve something out with Lucy as a backup as it looks like his future in the Capitol for all intents and purposes is toast.

Secondly, I think Lucy Gray is genuinely intrigued and attracted to Snow. But she's also someone who was deeply betrayed with the Reaping, deeply traumatised, and still reeling from the breakup that caused her to be in the Games. Then this handsome, charming man shows up who seems to care for her and goes above and beyond expectations as her mentor. At the start, she is very aware of the fact that he's Capitol is in the back of her mind. She also knows that she needs to keep him on side while she is in the Games (as she clearly sees that he's more invested than 99% of other mentors and she is gaining advantages from that investment that other tributes could only dream of). But over time, he demonstrates that he wants her to survive and he helps her out. When he then shows up in 12, she is surprised and she never expected to see him again. But he seemed to be a good person from everything he did for her in the Games (some of it she could barely guess at), and she's now basically forced to live in the same district as her ex and the girl who made her compete in the Games. He shows up, seemingly offering this fairytale and she happily goes along with it - after all, she likes him well enough. But she also has very little sense of who he actually is and she's (probably) still hurting a bit too much from her previous relationship for it to be a relationship where she is truly and deeply in love.

And then when she realises that he set up his seemingly only friend to be killed, she realised that her dream prince is actually not the kind of man she thought that he was, and that everyone is expendable to him. She is the apple of his eye at the moment, but eventually the shiny romance of it all will fade, so the best thing to do was to escape.

I don't know, maybe I just like the idea that Lucy Gray and Snow were people who had potential and that they were essentially two people who the world had broken in two, clinging to each other, and if it wasn't for Snow's narcissism and ruthlessness, if he had essentially been a better person, they could have really had something.

[wordsarelife]

—today was a fairytale

pairing: quill kipps x gn!reader

summary: you and quill go on your first date at arif‘s

warnings: mentions of sex at the very end

notes: this was such a cute thing to write and i think we need more domestic quill kipps fics… or fics of him in general.. get to work, people!!

arif‘s was pretty busy that morning. it was winter and you were watching the snow fall from the window of the little shop. you could hear people talking lowly, almost slipping into a chorused whisper around you. the coffee in front of you was still hot, so you couldn’t drink from it just yet. quill had just brought you this new one after the first that you had already finished.

Quill slid in the seat across from you. you turned your head at the sound and smiled at him. the moment your eyes met his, he was already sipping on the second cup of hot chocolate, that he had just ordered at the counter, seemingly uninterested in waiting until it had cooled down a bit.

“isn’t it a bit funny, that you ask me on a coffee date and then continuously drink hot chocolate?” you asked

quill shrugged his shoulders “nah”

“okay” you smiled brightly

the both of you had been here for over an hour, talking with no end. when quill had asked you to go on a date with him, you had never thought that it would be so entertaining, or that you both would find that you had so much in common.

in your eyes, quill had always been pretty strict and serious, turns out he could be quite funny, making you laugh with almost everything he was saying.

"can i ask you something personal?"

quill nodded and you smiled softly.

"lockwood told me that your talent faded some time ago. why did you choose to continue to work against the problem? why not do something else?" you asked interested "i've been an agent for all i remember, i do get the grind, but doesn't it get tiring after all that time you worked as one?"

contrary to your belief, that he might get offended at the question, quill smiled. "i don't know" he said truthfully "the thought of quitting did enter my head but it never stayed for long. i love the people i'm working with and i want to make a difference in the world"

"i like that" you replied "i always admired you for it, honestly. the way you carry yourself and stick up for your team, like it's more than just a job"

"it is more than just a job" quill insisted "it's our lives and from what i've heard and seen you don't seem to hold back either" "thank you" you laughed, before you got serious again "do you think we will some day get rid of the problem?"

“we will” he assured. you couldn’t tell if he was really thinking that or if he was just saying that to ease your nerves. he knew that you were always worrying about the problem.

you would sometimes work together, him with his fittes team and you as a member of lockwood and co. this is how you had met as well. even though lockwood never held back with comments about quill, you had grown to like him.

lockwood had thought you had made a joke when you had told him about the date.

one of the first things you had noticed was that despite you mentioning them all the time, quill did not say one bad thing about your friends. it wasn’t your intention to test or annoy him, but they were your whole life.

every story you could tell happened with them, they were your family and you were surprised how quickly quill had understood that.

he even praised lucy and george, when you told him the story of annabel ward and said that he would have been glad to have them on his team as well.

you could notice the stiffness in his face, every time you mentioned lockwood, there was just too much to just forget it, but he didn’t say anything at least and you registered that he seemed to really like you.

“maybe we could repeat this some day?” quill asked when the two of you had left arif’s and were walking down the street to portland row.

“yes” you smiled, glad that he was thinking the same as you. you didn’t want to wait until some day though. “how about tomorrow?” you asked “i’m free the entire day”

quill laughed at your eagerness. “tomorrow sounds great. i’m glad you suggested it, i didn’t want to pressure you, but i’d love to meet up again tomorrow”

“good” you breathed relieved. and somehow his agreement seemed to have made you brave, so you quickly added: “i really like you, quill”

“i really like you too”

you stopped in front of the stairs to portland row and on quill’s face rested a lopsided grin, as he noticed the curtains moving and lockwood’s face pop up in the window.

his smile wasn’t mean though. for a short second, the time you had taken to notice lockwood as well, you had thought that he was only smiling because it was annoying the boy. but now it seemed like that was just a plus and he was going to do what he wanted, regardless of lockwood watching or not.

he bend down and pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheeks and the heat entered your face almost immediately.

“bye, y/n” quill waved “i’m gonna call you tomorrow at noon, if that’s alright, then we can arrange something” he was already starting to walk away

“that’s good” you called “hey, wait, what do you want to do tomorrow?”

“whatever you want to do is fine with me” he smiled “i’ll call you!” he assured again, before he finally turned around and walked away

“stop being so smitten with him” you turned your head to look at lockwood, who had opened the front door and was now leaning against the frame.

“i think it’s already too late for that” your eyes returned to quills frame again, that was almost too far away to see.

lockwood sighed. “never have sex in my house”

you walked through the door, giggling at his seriousness. “i won’t promise anything” you laughed, quickly sprinting up the stairs

“what was that?” lockwood called behind you, but you ignored him, just smiling to yourself and feeling excitement bubble in your chest to tell lucy everything.

[motownfiction]

blockbuster

Sadie waits outside the new Blockbuster in the cold. She’s been to a Blockbuster before – they all have – but this one feels different. This one is on the streets where they learned to drive, and that just seems more special. A full circle now that they’re all done with college.

She talked it over with Lucy, and they have a plan. As soon as the doors open, they’re going to rush inside and rent the three videos that mean the most to them. Lucy used to have a copy of The Outsiders, but when Elenore was a year old, she knocked it off a high shelf and pulled all the film out. Sadie was babysitting her at the time, and she thought Lucy would be pissed. But she wasn’t. When she and Will came home from Sarah’s birthday dinner, Lucy just laughed. She picked Elenore up and said, “Well, I always knew girls wanted to get inside that movie. Now I’ve got proof.”

Lucy, of course, is late today. Elenore had a doctor’s appointment right before close of business, and of course, the pediatrician was running behind. When Sadie answered the phone at home, and Lucy sounded panicked, Sadie thought for a moment that the doctor’s appointment hadn’t gone well, that there was something wrong with Elenore. Thank goodness there wasn’t. Lucy just felt terrible that she was behind again. She’s been running late to things for almost six years. Six years in April.

Sometimes, Sadie wonders what it would have been like if Lucy didn’t get pregnant in eleventh grade, or if she hadn’t gone through with it. Maybe those are awful things to think about, especially the latter, but it’s hard not to play with alternate timelines. What would have happened? Would Lucy make it to appointments on time? Would she be working on her master’s degree at Wayne State like she is today? Would she and Sadie be single-lady roommates in Detroit? Would they have gone somewhere else?

But it’s no use. She knows the answers to all of those questions. Without Elenore, they would have disintegrated. All of them. Lucy would have moved to Boston four and a half years ago. Will would have married someone nondescript, someone he accepted more than loved. Sam wouldn’t be thinking about opening a little store one day where people like Elenore could come in, discover new music, and change their lives. Sadie wouldn’t be married to Daniel. She might not be working on a master’s degree of her own. She and Lucy probably wouldn’t even be best friends. Just an obligatory Christmas card with polite but intangible promises to get together if they’re ever in the same area.

Better late than on the coast.

Sadie turns her head when she hears huffing and singing in the distance.

“Don’t sleep in the subway, darling! / Don’t stand in the pourin’ raaaaaiiin …” come on, Elenore, you like this song!”

“I don’t like it when I’m running!”

“We have to run! Come on! You try to be smart, then you … take it to heart!”

“Why are we running?”

“Because we have to see Sadie!”

“Sadie!”

She and Elenore spot each other from across the parking lot. At first, Elenore begins to dart across, but Lucy – faster than she ever remembers – scoops her up and makes her go slow.

“Ah-ah-ah!” Lucy says. “Do we run across parking lots? Ever? At all? Especially when it’s dark?”

“No, Mom.”

“Very good. You’re lucky it’s just me and not Daddy. He would have cried.”

“He always cries.”

“Yes, he does. Now, hold my hand, and we’ll walk to go see Sadie.”

They take the last few steps before approaching. Sadie knows she can’t control the smile on her face as she bends down to give Elenore a hug. Elenore, Elenore, Elenore. The girl who changed it all.

“Hi, Sadie,” Elenore says. “Did you know my dad always cries?”

Sadie laughs.

“Yes, I did.”

“I think it’s funny.”

Lucy squeezes Elenore’s shoulder and looks up at Sadie.

“I really am so sorry we’re late,” Lucy says. “Doctors should be on time.”

“It’s OK,” Sadie says. “I’d rather you take Elenore for her check-up than skip it. Gotta make sure our girl is as perfect as we think she is.”

Elenore beams.

“So, what movies are we getting?” she asks.

“Good question, babe,” Lucy says. “Mommy wants you to see The Red Shoes.”

“Which Sadie thinks is insane,” Sadie adds. “She’s five years old.”

“Almost six,” Lucy and Elenore say at the same time.

“Still!”

“My daughter is very advanced, Sadie. If I shelter her from great art, who does that help? More importantly, who does it hurt?”

“I think you’re talking double.”

“Little bit, yeah, but there’s a point wedged in there.”

Sadie laughs.

“Well, I want you to see The Care Bears Movie,” she says. “I think you’d like it.”

“I like Care Bears,” Elenore says. “Sure.”

“And then, we’re going to rent The Outsiders,” Lucy says. “Like we did before you were born. You might not like that one yet.”

Elenore mulls it over.

“Is that the one I pulled out all the tape?” she asks.

Lucy and Sadie look at each other and try to avoid erupting.

“Yes,” Lucy says delicately. “Yes, it is.”

“Yeah. I might not like that one yet.”

Sadie bites her lip to keep from more laughter. Yes, she can imagine a world where Lucy didn’t get pregnant in high school, and even a world where Lucy and Will had a baby a few years later. But that baby wouldn’t have been Elenore. Beautiful, brilliant, perfect little Elenore. They wouldn’t be standing out here, waiting for the Blockbuster doors to open, friends after all this time. Without Elenore, Lucy would be a memory. A stranger.

As the doors open, and the patrons filter inside, Lucy gives Sadie a strange look.

“Yeah?” Sadie asks.

“Nothing, I think,” Lucy says. “You just look … like you’re worried about something.”

Sadie shakes her head.

“Nope! I don’t see anything to worry about here.”

Lucy nods, but that strange look is still behind her eyes. Somehow, Sadie knows she’s thinking the same thing.

I’m so glad you’re really here.

I’m so glad you’re not a memory.

part of the september prompts on my new co-run blog, @analognostalgia -- day 2, "blockbuster"

[androgynousblackbox]

The Horror of Our Love. 4 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

The Radio

"It took a little more money that we would have prefer to. I worked to get lowest price that she was willing to accept and still was a good amount. I think she only relented when I told her that we investigate objects such as that one to know about them. In the end she made me promise that I would send her back any updates on whatever we could learn about the radio and the ghost that was using it. She liked the voice of the man. It was scary, but still someone to keep her company when her own grandsons wouldn't call back. The man in the radio was never agressive or threatening. He seemed content with just talking, or at least that is the impression that she got after the first exorcism failed. We promised everything she wanted with zero intention of doing it. She seemed like an actually nice lady, she shouldn't have to be involved on any of this.

I came back with my pockets almost entirely empty. The conversion of wizard money to muggle money is fucking bullshit. But I got it. I fucking got it.

They weren't kidding when they said this fucking thing was heavy. It's on top of my desk and hasn't done anything until now. The old lady said that the first day it also didn't do anything on her store. It was only after some people looking around and messing with the dials is that the noises started. There were some stations in which it didn't react at all. We need to find the ones that does.

It's exactly as we were said. There is no cable, no battery. Whatever powers this thing is not electricity. I will have my record player near it as we test it out.

Nothing yet?"

"No. Wait. Yes, it did something, isn't it?"

"Sssh, I wanna hear. It's music."

"Old ass music. My grandpa would hear something like that. Do we even know if this thing can hear us?"

"It knew to laugh at the muggles, so something knows about what happens outside of it. Keep looking on the stations, maybe one of them is for communication. Don't look at me like that. I don't fucking know, angel."

"Hello? Alastor Magne, can you hear us? Hello, can you hear us? Hello?"

"Do you know who I am, my good man? That is a new one."

"Ah, fuck! That gave me a heart attack. Okay, now I understand the old lady."

"That is him. Hey, Alastor Magne? Do you recognize my voice?"

"No, I don't believe so. Should I? Are we friends?"

"That depends. How old are you now?"

"I was 24 years old when I was made."

"Then no. We met you way after that."

"How long after?"

"Last we knew about you, you were on your 40s."

"And after that?"

"We don't know. That is what we try to find out."

"I see. What about Luci? Do you know who he is?"

"Yes. You told us about him."

"I did? That is such a big relief then. You must have been very good friends for that to happen. I wouldn't trust that information to about anyone."

"Yeah, totally. Husky here was your favorite student ever in fact. That is why you made him into your little assistant for the class."

"Angel."

"What? It's true."

"What a delightful surprise that we happened to find each other again in these circumstances! For you, I mean. To me you are still a pair of strangers. Do tell me, Husky, my friend, what did I say about my Luci?"

"First of all, you call me Husk. Husky is Anthony's thing."

"Ah! Duly noted."

"Just that you adore him to bits and want to kiss him and cuddle up under the stars to see how his scales shine under the stars. He did! I saw it with my own two beautiful eyes."

"R-really? Then… we must had have a pretty close relationship then."

"Favorite student ever. Never lost contact not even after we graduated. Right, Husky?"

"Sure. I mean, yeah."

"For so long the only other person I could talk to about him was Rosie. I didn't thought anyone else would understand."

"Oh, but we understand completely, professor. In fact, if anything, we want to hear more about it. All the details if you can! Don't listen to that grumpy pants groaning in the background, he is just being dramatic for another unrelated thing that has nothing to do with us."

"Angel, I swear to god."

"You are free to leave the room if you want, kitty. Professor Magne. Alastor. You don't mind answering my questions, don't you? We just want to get a clearer picture of how things went down with you and Luci."

"Of course not! I am all ears."

"Okay, so…"

"Angel."

"Did you fucked with the snake or not? Please, be as explicit as you want.

Hello? Professor, are you there?"

"You fucked it up. Good."

"Apologies, I was just taken aback by the wording of the question. If you absolutely must know, then yes. Luci and I have made love before, as couples often do. It was wonderful."

"I fucking told you."

"Please, shut up."

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, he is just being silly. So, did you made love when you were still a student? That is the part that has been bugging me for a while now."

"Is this the kind of relationship that we had after I became your professor?"

"Oh, come on, don't be like that! Everyone is an adult here. We have been adults long enough so yes, we totally have that kind of trust. You can fully count on us, professor. We won't repeat a word to a soul."

"I am going out. Tell me when you are ready to talk about something useful."

"You are still hearing the recording later, Husky."

"Don't remind me."

"You were saying, professor?"

"Very well. I guess there is no harm on it since we are all friends here.

Most young people get to experiment around that age. I guess I really wasn't that different in that aspect. I wasn't interested into doing anything like that with any of my classmates, so my Luci was the perfect vehicle for it. He was so infinitely patient and kind, even as I was getting overwhelmed with all the new sensations I was having. I couldn't have asked for a better companion for those moments. When on my own it always felt like such a chore to go through for very little reward, but with him I finally understood a little bit of what the fuzz was about. Although no doubt other teenagers were no having the same experience, my body and his were for the first time sources of a different kind of pleasure I didn't know before.

At first, when I asked him to let me see him on his own, I truly believe he was convinced that I would find it gross or it was a temporary curiosity that would die the moment it was satisfied. A part of me thought so as well. My dedication to him wasn't about to diminish one bit even if that was the case. I didn't need that kind of physicallity to know already that the rest of my life was going to be tied to his. But I was curious nonetheless. If there was even the slightest chance that we both got to have any kind of enjoyment from it, then why I would deprive myself from it?

To be clear, we never did anything of that nature until my last year. I didn't even thought of doing anything until then, when I realized it was going to be a long while until I saw him again at the end of the year. I was going out to study for my title of professor at a wizard university in another continent. Four years at the very least we would have to keep apart. The thought was unbearable, but it had to be done if I wanted to stick around the school to stay with him in the long run.

Our status as a relationship wasn't a conventional one and not only because of the curse imposed on him. Actually there were probably too many factors to count and no small portion of them was Lucifer's own doubt that I could even want him as an actual partner. Everything else could be handled or left to a side, but he was convinced that once I was out in the world I would find an actual human and forget anything about him. No matter how much I said that was never going to happen. He just kept repeating we will see to the point I was tired of touching the subject all together.

Before then, I had what I would call kisses with him, I had slept besides him and even brought him back to my room to stay on my pillow when I found out he could actually control his size to his will. That is what had allowed him to go whichever part of the castle he wanted to without relying on the pipes or being seen. I was clearly already comfortable and safe around him, just like he never had to fear any harm coming from me. I thought that a experiment of that kind only made the most sense possible.

I was fully unprepared for the impact of what I saw had on my own body. I won't give you a full rundown of what I saw then because that was meant only for my eyes. Just know that he wasn't exempt from the most common snake traits for his body and he didn't need hands to give me a demostration of how he has relieved himself all this time. I had my own mouth dry from keeping it open for so long, gasping, by the end of it. No matter how many things we have done since then or we will in the future, that first impression will never leave my mind. It consumed me for weeks worst than his venom ever could. Any moment I wasn't actively paying attention to something else, my mind would conjure up that image again and I wished I could be with him again, on his nest, our chamber, where we both could indulge in without judgement, without worries.

My curiosity, my need for more, didn't die at all. Every free time that I had was fully spend down there. Lucifer was a lot less reluctant about touching me as he was about me doing the same for him, when he saw how willing I was for it. He was so afraid of hurting me that he didn't want to hear about us becoming one in the most traditional way. I didn't mind it that much back then because any way that he would allow me to have that experience with him was new and perfect already as far I was concerned.

The night of the last banquet I brought him a present I had been working on for months. This radio that I am speaking through now was meant to be our only way of communication while I was away, studying abroad. He could talk to it back if he wanted to and I would listen through a smaller radio I had brought with me. Since it didn't work on electricity, it would work no problem on school grounds. I put it on his nest under the bigger statue and we listened to some tunes while everyone else was celebrating above us. I didn't care for what house had won that year or what points were distributed. This was all I needed.

Lucifer remained weirdly silent for a big part of it. His head was moving slightly to the rythm of the music, but I could tell he wasn't really all there. When I asked him what was wrong, he looked up and said it was going to be hard to get used to not having me around anymore.

That should not have me so stupidly happy as it did. I of course assure him that I would have the same struggle, but in the end it was going to be worth if we could spend together the rest of our lives once I was hired here. I was going to work as hard as I could to make that goal come true, you could mark my words. Meanwhile, we can still keep in contact like this, my love. I could tell there was something else he wanted to say."

[Note from Husk: At this point the dials start moving on their own and changing stations. It will become obvious later on, but these are memories being played back and not the current Professor Magne speaking. He won't respond to anything we say in that state. There is some music playing on the background.]

"Four years is not that much, dear. It will pass sooner than we expect."

"I know, I know. You would think that four years would be easy for me to pass through."

[Note from Husk: I have to imagine that second person speaking is what professor Magne hears when Lucifer speaks to him. It's a younger kind of voice that what I would have expected. He couldn't have been older than his 20s or early 30 when turned into a snake. Later on he will sing through the radio and it will make sense why the journal said he had an angelic kind of voice. It does sound nice. But also sad.]

"I will miss you too, love. I will use the radio everyday, even if you don't answer."

"You should… try to live a little bit while you can, Al. You are young only once. I won't take offense if you have other things going on."

"Not tonight, darling. Please. Just for tonight, can you believe me when I say I want to stay with you? That I want to spend my life with you? I don't want to hear about the rest of the world. They won't ever matter as much as what we have here."

"You see, Al, you keep saying that and it's exactly what makes me think… maybe that shouldn't be. You should care about others and let them care for you. I don't have an option here, but you do."

"I care about you. Is that not enough? Does that mean so little for you?"

"It means everything. I just don't want you to feel trapped here like I am. You say you want this and I do believe you, but what about in ten years? Twenty, fifty? How do you know you won't regret it? I can't hug you, Al. I can't go on in dates with you. You will never have any of the things other people have with their partners with me. What if you ever want to have a family?

Listen, I am sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your surprise. All I am saying is… when that day comes, I will understand if you tell me you found someone else that makes you happy. That is all. You don't owe me anything."

"You think I didn't thought of all of that? I don't need all those things to know how you feel about me. If we want a family, we can make it ourselves, I will find the way somehow. If I can't, then who cares? I only really need you.

I already don't want to go away. Get up on that train is going to be one of the hardest things I have done. Don't push me too."

"Funny. I think I lost the ability of doing that a long time ago. I know I should, I know that is the least I should do, but I can't. I don't know anymore what does that say about me."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. I feel like a selfish piece of shit for saying it, but I do. I haven't loved anything in so long. That is why it terrifies me that I could ever hurt you, even without meaning to. I would never forgive myself if I did. You are so precious to me, Al."

"You won't. Darling, look at me. Please, listen. You won't hurt me by letting me stay with you. I might not know the future right now, but I know that much. If you are selfish, then I am too. Just… try trust me back when I say I want this. I want you. Can you do that for me, love?"

"I can try."

"That is all I ask. Come here.

I want to stay the night here. All my things are packed already, so I don't need to rush in the morning. Is that okay?"

"Mmm. Actually… I was thinking we could… try that thing you talked about last time."

"What thing? Merfolk meat?"

"No, the… You are really going to make me say it. Fine. You putting it in on me. Not just my mouth. You asked if we could try that, but you were so busy with your finals that… You don't have to if you aren't in the mood. We can just sleep. I am just saying that if you want, we can."

"Oh! No, I was just surprised you even remember that. That was months ago. You were really mulling over it this long?"

"It's a limited offer. The clock is ticking."

"I better take the chance while I can in that case. Yes, of course I want to. How?"

"Take your clothes off."

"If you wanted me naked, you can also just ask, my love. Those eyes of yours are a dead give away."

"Shut up. Do you need help?"

"It's still hard for me to do anything with it if you aren't the one touching it."

"Heh. Hard."

[Note from Anthony: HA! Luci and I could have been friends, I can tell.

Note from Husk: For fuck's sake, Angel.

Note from Anthony: Never better said, Husky.

Note from Husk: I hate this. So much.]

"Are you twelve?"

"Come on, you did it unpurpose."

"I won't deny or confirm such an accusation. But if you can assist me, I won't say no."

"Very well.

Did you really missed my tongue that much? I barely did anything and you are reacting so well already."

"I… did. It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"Mmm. You must be so pent up. It's okay, hopefully this will help."

[Note from Anthony: I can't believe I didn't think of the tongue before. I feel deeply dissapointed on myself. Ashamed even.

Note from Husk: NOTES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR THIS BULLSHIT.

Note from Anthony: Fine. There are pants and moans now with the voice of professor Magne. The music is still playing in the background. I don't recognize the singer, but it's a ballad about missing a lover that has yet to come back. Bittersweet, that is the word I was looking for. I kinda like it. It's an oldie but a cute one. For when you want to be a sad bitch with hope.]

"Luci…"

"There we go. Now I can work with this. Get on top of me. I won't drop you, it's fine. Just let me move you a little… There. That is where I want you to put it."

"Isn't that where your stuff comes out?"

"Mmm. I have to push them for that. If I keep them inside, they are still sensitive. You can rub against them if you want, but it should be tight anyway. I tried using my tail a couple of times, but it's still too big no matter how small I make myself. You should be the perfect size as I am now."

"You… you used your tail like that?"

"Well, yeah. I had to try to see how it felt before I could offer it, right? I was trying to think it was you, but it really wouldn't work."

"You have never done this before then?"

"Just with my own tongue. You are the first one I will do it with, though."

"I am glad. I would have to kill anyone who saw you like this."

"You are the only one who wants to see me like this, you weirdo."

[Note from Anthony: I don't know, I would be curious at least. I think Luci really understimate how many freaks there are out there.

Note from Husk: Angel, I swear I will start deleting all your notes if you keep this shit up. It's bad enough I had to hear it myself.]

"The only one you want to be seen by, right, my love?"

"I would have blinded you already if not.

Stop teasing it and fuck me already, Al. You won't need lube, it's fine."

"Mmm. Ah, I feel you… They are throbbing there. So warm. Luci, you really wanted this too, didn't you?"

"You started it… How is it?"

"Amazing. You sucking me in so nicely, love. You?"

"I… I have to concentrate on keeping them inside."

"Is that… good?"

"Heh. It means I like it, yes. It's good. So much better than my tail ever was.

Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"I only… with you… Ah, no, never."

"I was kidding, Al. You know… I can feel how warm your blood is compared to mine? I always could, but now it's like you are burning me from the inside. In the best way.

You can… finish inside if you want. It won't go anywhere."

"Not now. I want this to last some more. We should… have done this before."

"Better late than never. I didn't want you to go without knowing if this could work."

"But it's not. Pull them out."

"What?"

"Pull them out. I want to… I want to touch them. I want to taste them myself. Please? Please, love. Let me finish with you. I don't want you to repress yourself during this. I can see how much effort you are using."

"That is… Are you sure? What if you don't like it?"

"I have seen you sucking yourself off and wanting to do it myself since the first day. It will be fine. Just relax and let me do it."

"Fine… But don't force yourself if you want to stop. Move a little. Can you touch yourself a little? Perfect.

There."

"See? Doesn't feel better that way?"

"Mmm! Aal, if you lick it…"

"A lot more sensitive too."

"That is how dicks tend to work! Sorry, it just took me by surprise. You don't find it gross?"

"I think I actually like this better."

"Really? One would think the youth would just love to have a hole to fuck."

"I think we establish already I am not like the other wizards my age. You haven't put them in on anyone either, right?"

"Believe it or not, I didn't had any chances down here, no."

"Can you get smaller and do it to me?"

"What. You are not serious."

"Why not? They seem to react well to my presence. I think I like them too. Your flavor is unlike anything I had before."

"Mmm… that, that is not the point. If you have never done anything like it before it's going to hurt you, even if I do get smaller. My smallest is still bigger than your whole body. No, Al, we can't."

"But I want to…"

"No. Just… use your legs to make some friction and get yourself betweem them. You can use one arm if you want."

"Like this?"

"Squeeze a little more. Don't worry, you can't hurt me… Yes, baby, just like that. Exactly like that. I will get a little smaller, hold on… Now you can just use your thighs.

You like it?

Heh. You are cute when you don't talk. It's okay, you can let go."

"You-you too. Together."

"Mmm, yes."

"L-luci, Luci, Luciii…"

"Alastor…"

[Note from Anthony: Hot. And before certain grumpy pants says anything, after the happy ending you could only hear the music. At some point they lowered the volume. The station changed again to another memory.

Note from Husk: Not at all of them are as long as the last one. They are mostly fragments of conversations that Magne and Lucifer had.]

"I really wish you were here, love. I would have gladly feed you our professor in Ethics. I don't think anyone in the whole institutions would mind either. Most students probably would congratulate me."

"One of my classmates asked for a date. According to Rosie, the whole asking me my notes for almost every class was all an excuse to talk to me. If I had known that is what she was after, I would have tell her already I have someone else."

"I don't mind music, but do they really need to put it so loud at this hours of the morning? Some of us have scholarships we need to keep by not sleeping during class."

"I end up cursing their radios to shock them everytime they try to use them after the sun is down."

"I found a dead cat on the sidewalk that made me think of you, dearest. If I could I have send it to you. It seemed fresh enough at least."

"Of course I love you, darling."

"I got this book on my outing today. It's about a woman who marries a man cursed to look like a beast. Would you believe me if I tell you this come from a muggle library? From a muggle author too! Want me to read it for you?"

"I hated the ending. It felt unnecessary? You already made these two fell in love. Why did he had to become a man at the end of it?"

"I heard this song, maybe you will like it too?"

"I miss you."

"I miss you."

"Today was awful. I miss you."

"I miss you."

"I miss you."

[Note from Husk: It continues like that for at least other five minutes as the dials keep turning in random stations. Every I miss you is different from each other. At least the sex talk is over.

Note from Anthony: Until it was back and Husky checked out again. Sorry, honey.]

"I think I finally got a solution to our size problem."

"Our what now?"

"So you can mate with me properly."

"Are you still on that?! I thought we had a good enough time already."

"We did. Don't misunderstand, darling, it was wonderful, but surely you would like to experiment for that as well. I have been working on it for weeks now and I believe I finally got it. I have tested it out and is so much better than I thought."

"Al, when you say test it out, what do you mean?"

"Is that jelousy I heard, my love? My own fingers, of course. But let me tell you about my process a little bit. Did you know that witches have tons of spells already to make intercourse all the better for them? In handsight, that only makes sense, but I had no idea how many options they had. Remember that party my classmates dragged me to after the end of the semester? There, a witch was talking about a particular kind of spell that let her enjoy one night with a… particularly endowed centaur. Normally something like that could have kill her, but she was determined to make it work so she tried that new spell and it worked wonder for the both of them. Want to know what it does?"

"I am sorry, a centaur?"

"A centaur, darling. Anyway, the spell consist on just in making it so her parts would make it so her lover would instantly adapt to her without losing any sensation. It's like living an actual fantasy where you only count with the pleasure and none of the real life inconveniences. I asked her for it, she wanted to know for what and when I told her it was for my boyfriend she very kindly taught me the exact gesture."

[Note from Anthony: Maybe we should look into the centaur girl? For the sake of the investigation, that is. We don't want to miss any important detail.

Note from Husk: No. Also, you already know that spell anyway.

Note from Anthony: But a centaur, Husky! Are they kind? Are they rough? Do they cuddle after? Those are the big questions that need answers! Besides, that girls sounds like fun.

Note from Husk: Still no.]

"That was just the first part of what I intended to do. The next one was the issue of my own body. I don't very much care for the parts I was born with, so I did some research and found an easy enough spell that would allow me for something far more comfortable. For what I could gather, lots of wizards and witches do stuff like that to themselves all the time! Some people create their own parts to closely resemble what is on their mind or just because they can! Truly fascinating subject, my love."

"Wh-what… You mean you have a…"

"A vulva, yes. I have to say, it's so much more convenient than what I had before. We won't even need lube after all! But I wasn't done yet. I thought I was, but then I remembered about how you believe I should have fun with other people before settling down with you."

"Hey, I didn't put it exactly like that."

"Point is! If you won't believe on my words, you don't leave much any other choice than to show you with my actions. So I basically found a variant of a chastity spell and now I have nothing. Nothing unless I have to relieve myself or you are here."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing at all. It's completely smooth down there, like a doll. It will keep being that way unless the one of my choosing makes me want to show what I have for him. That means you, dear. There won't ever be anyone else who will even come close to it."

"Did… did you really do that?"

"It was a pretty arcaic spell, but I think I have pull it off very well on my own. With all these changes in place, I should be ready for our next encounter. You can take me however way you want. You won't hurt me."

"Al, you are… fucking insane."

"But you like it?"

"Baby, I don't know if I am going to contain myself the next time I see you."

"Who said I want you to?"

[Note from Anthony: Eliminated because NOBODY NEEDS THE COMMENTARY.

Note from Anthony: ALRIGHT, FUCK. The next memory we think is when professor Magne was interviewed by the Headmaster Sera. There is the sound of people talking in the background. They are on some tabern, probably in Hogsmeade.

Note from Husk: Hearing her voice all of the sudden was a genuine jumpscare. I never liked her much either. She always seemed very… cold, I guess? Indifferent to others, but she knew to hide it better than professor Magne ever bothered.]

"I have to say, I still don't fully understand why do you even want this job, Alastor. A young man like you would get bored of being surrounded by old wizards like us the entire year. You could work in any other school if you really wanted to."

"Nonsense! There is a certain beauty on helping out the future generations in the same way that I was helped with. I just can't ignore the calling that Hogswarts has on me any longer. The best memories I ever had and my best friends both I made under the ceiling of that castle, walking those aisles. I truly feel at home right there. I couldn't imagine dedicating myself to my students in any other place, if I have to be honest. It would be my honor if you would consider me, Sera."

"I definitely will and make you know my decision by tomorrow. For now, I am afraid I have to leave you."

"To interview my competition?"

"To see another candidate to the same position. It was nice talking to you again, Alastor. You were always an exceptional student and I am glad to see the kind of men you became to."

"You, on the other hand, have remained just as pleasing to the eyes as the day I graduated."

"Flattery won't affect my decision, Alastor."

"I had to try at least. Go on then, dear. I will be waiting for my letter of acceptance."

"Confidence is a virtue, but arrogance can be a flaw."

"Which one I have?"

"That is about to be seen. I do need to go now. Thank you for coming to see me here and your time."

"My pleasure! I was nostalgic for this small little town anyway. I might stick around a while more just to have a look. Have a nice evening, dear."

"Likewise, Alastor."

[Note from Husk: Another memory.]

"I got the job. Darling, I got the job! I barely had to curse only one of the other candidates! I will get to see you soon, Luci. Once I do, there won't be any force in this world that will ever tear me apart from your side. We will kill anyone that tries."

"Why do you always have to make everything creepy?"

"Some call it romantic, dear. You don't sound that displeased either."

"I am not. Not at all. Congratulations, Al. Can't wait to see you too."

[Note from Husk: The next thing we hear are steps over grass and someone panting. The steps reach solid ground. They won't stop running. At some point there is a whisper of professor Magne ordering something to open up. After some time, the steps sound wet as they renew the run. The next time professor Magne speaks again, again ordering an entrnace, there is a sound of unlocking before a heavy door is moved. The entire time professor Magne is panting for air.

Note from Anthony: Not just for the exercise either.

Note from Husk: What is that supposed to mean?

Note from Anthony: Can't you hear his heartbeat from here? The man is anxious, Husky.

Note from Husk: Something very heavy is moving over rocks. The voices barely echo there.]

"My love! Luci. I am sorry for not coming sooner, but I had to wait for a moment in which they left me alone. Sera would not stop yapping my ear off about the new year. I have all my things with me, I can stay with you. Where are you?"

"Al?"

"Lucifer. It's me, love. Come here. I missed your scales so much."

"You are taller now."

"Can you really tell? It was just a few inches."

"Of course I can. Those are new glasses too."

"I had no choice when my eyesight was getting worse. Surprisingly enough, dark arts are not really dedicated to the improvement of eyes's health. Who knew? Wow. I forgot you literally can swift me off my feet."

"I also feel you lighter. Have you eaten already?"

"Yes, dear. The rest of the staff had a little party to welcome me into the castle. I even had to take a bite of the cake because the chef made it for me."

"Have you sleep…"

"My dear, not that I don't find your concern endearing, but are really not going to take me to your nest so I can settle in?"

"You… have a bed upstairs."

"I like yours better. I can also just sleep on top of you. You are so convenient like that, love."

"It's cold here."

"Then you better keep close to save heat, mmm? Nobody is going to even know that I am here, Luci. I can stay all night without any worry. I won't get in any trouble. I can feel you shaking, darling. What is wrong?"

"Tell me this is real."

"Of course it is, silly. You had me worried for a second there. But if you still have any doubt, I can show you something very real instead. You just have to take me to your nest. Would that help?"

"Yes."

[Note from Angel: Another memory. Bummer.]

"Love. Darling, I have to go."

"Tell them you are sick. Later."

"It's my first day on my new job and you want me to call in sick already? Not the best very first impression, isn't it?"

"Can you even walk?"

"Do not ask that with that smug tone in your voice! For your information, yes, I can. I am not made of crystal, I will have you know! I took all necessary precautions so I wouldn't have any unwanted pain. You are welcome, by the way."

"Thank you. You are limping. Are you sure you are okay?"

"Because I just woke up, it's fine!"

"Wait. When are you coming back?"

"After the banquet of inauguration. I will come as soon as I can."

[Note from Husk: The dial moved again to the original station where we first talked to professor Magne. Thank fucking heavens.]

"I never spend a single night on the room I was assigned to. Now that I was finally back at the school, I could finally look into another little project I had in mind. Everyone knows about the Shrieking Shank on Hogsmeade, rumoured to be the house of violent spirits, but at the school it was said that it was made just for the sake of one student that turned into a werewolf during the full moon. Back then potions to keep his mind conscious did not exist and rather than put him or any students at risk, that house was made to contain him. I can only the terror a kid would have gone through during those nights. Once I became a member of the staff of the school, I soon learned another detail that it wasn't known by the student but could be easily deduced if one thought about it. A tunnel was connecting directly the school to that location, as to avoid the townspeople to wonder what was doing a Hogwart's student outside at those hours. That kid graduated closely before my generations, so now the building stood silent, empty. Without anybody to put it to good use. It was time to change that.

The building itself was easy to buy with the money I had saved. You can't hope to achieve the magical accomplishment that I had in mind without having some extra credit. It took me years of part time jobs and living as frugal as possible during my student years, but that and a few months of my new salary finally allowed me to sign whatever name I told them to put. I made sure nobody ever saw my own face close to that place.

Once it was mine, it was a matter to make it according to my own interest. I changed the start of the tunnel from under that awful tree to the same lenght of the tunnel with a few teleportation spells and a security system in place so we would both be alerted if anyone we didn't trust tried to get in. Both the immediate steps inside the house from the entrance, the back and the view from the window wouldn't show a single thing different to how they were before I touched anything. If anyone was dumb enough to go beyond that, they could be trapped inside until we could determine what to do with them.

I had to make both the kitchen, the bathrooms and the chimney functional, make sure that the smoke would come out in a random locations of the forest and finally clear out the living room to make a proper nest for Luci. Then it came the clean up. Lots and lots of clean up. But it was worth it when Lucifer was there, absolutely incredulous when I told him this was our new place. I never lied when I said I didn't mind the chambers. If anything they hold a nostalgic attractive for me, but they weren't ours. We had nothing to do with their creation. Someone had made it to contain Lucifer, for it to be his prison, so now he was going to have a new place to go where he could do as he pleased or just rest without bringing up what had happened.

I was slightly less excited when I gave him the option to decorate himself and he kept asking for the guadiest things possible from the catalogues I gave him to fill our space. I relented on some, not in others. Our first proper fight as a couple was when he just needed a figurine of a duck the size of a medium dog. I used what was supposed to be Rosie's room if she ever came to visit for two nights. I don't actually remember how we made up, but in the end there was now a white duck greeting guest next to the ladder to the second floor. Besides his unfortunate taste, I was rather proud when the place didn't looked like it had been abandoned for more than ten years.

The curse of Lucifer was very much still there. The paliatives I had managed to make were just that and very conditional. He could go to Hogsmeade and to our house, but not a step beyond that before he was taken immediately back to the chamber. At the very least that extended his range of hunting in the forest so he could go for bigger prey if he wanted to. It still wasn't perfect, but it was getting there. I just needed to work more on it. Between grading students, my classes and impart the odd discipline, we were set for me to do pretty much whatever I wanted with the rest of my time. The vast library of Hogwarts were older and therefore more useful than the ones on the university I came from. The forbidden section proved to be rather useful.

After a few years, a little sickness curse in our good old current professor for Care of Magical Creatures left the path open for Rosie to come join me. It was during one of our monthly dinners as the Shrieking Shank with her wife that I had an idea. But it needed to be worked on still.

All things considered, and with all of their limitations, I liked this small life we had managed to build, one that the school had no idea about. It was as nice of a simple life as we could get."

[Note from Husk: This is where I intervened.]

"What was the idea?"

"Pardon?"

"You mentioned an idea that Rosie's wife… Lilith, right? Gave you. What was that?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly tell you that. Apologies if I gave you the impression that I wasn't going to leave some stuff for myself. If I haven't even told Luci yet! Like I said, it needs to be worked on before I feel it approporiate for him to know about. I don't want to hold his hopes up without any garantees. At the point I was made, I still haven't found the right way."

"But it's something that he wanted? Not you?"

"I wanted it as well. Can we change the subject, if you don't mind?"

"Yeah, sure. So, how were you made? I know about the process already. Professor needs to kill someone each time."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He did."

"Huh. Well, that is correct. I picked up this old radio for some sentimental value left. The one I had to eliminate was a man in Hogsmeade that was infamous for beating his small children after the dead of her wife. I am talking kids no older than 12. Isn't that awful? I of course made sure that they had a loving aunt that could take care of them before doing anything. Once that was settle, it was as easy as to catch him after he was kicked out from the pub and applied the tiniest drop of Lucifer's venom to his temple. Went down instantly. From there, taking him back to our house and finish the job was easy. Luci was the one who recommended to use this radio. He said he liked how my voice came out of here. I did always liked to listen to it, even as a little boy."

"How many more horrorcruxes was professor Magne planning into doing? He asked us to keep a tally of them, but didn't specify any number before he had to go into hiding again."

"Mmm. As far my knowledge goes, the idea was to make at least 5. A good solid number that would give me enough time to figure out what to do with Luci. But that might have changed by the time you two met him. If he went into hiding, do you have any idea if managed to get out with Luci?"

[Note from Husk: That is when it suddenly hit me. We had no idea if he had actually managed to break the curse. What if he didn't? What if he made a huge mess at the school, faked his death and just stayed there? The place should be empty, but it's really, really big. If someone really wanted to go unnoticed inside, they could. Lucifer had plenty of experience on that.

I answered yes to the question of the radio and left it there. We had a travel to make.]

[see-arcane]

What you said about Jonathan wanting to do good is so true. Like, he reads the letter of recommendation about how nice and good at his work he is and beams up!

Sometimes it felt like ppl thought he was itching to hurt Arthur, Jack, Quincey, and Van Helsing, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He wants to be a good person and not hurt the friends who helped him and his. He KNOWS they're right morally. That's why he doesn't protest them vowing to kill Mina. But it doesn't matter that they're moral and noble, he will cut them down before they can fulfill the promise. And he DOESN'T want to do that.

He was very distinctively silent about his silence, which may be why people interpreted him as a cold-blooded backstabber. But he'd been very unhappily avoiding them for a reason (until Mina started to improve due to Dracula fleeing her mind) because he doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially friends.

That's the added tragedy of it if it had happened! If he had had no moral qualms about killing, there'd have been nothing tragic about his struggle. Because he wants to be good, he knows his friends are good, but he also knows he'll do evil for Mina.

It all feeds into Jonathan Harker as a person who, while striving always to Do Good, does not exist in a stark black-and-white version of morality like the rest of his friends do. He places everything in his world within a hierarchy. We see that with how he reacts in the castle and his miserable game of ‘Would You Rather?’

He would rather die than join the Brides. He would rather live than be meekly torn apart by the wolves, a lamb to slaughter. He would rather risk falling to his death and those same wolves while trying to return home to Mina, proving he did not go quietly at Dracula or the Brides’ whim. 

It’s a huge horrible spread of awful choices to make, but since there are no good options, he orders his actions and thoughts by which he deems least awful.

Which is exactly what we see in the predicament with Mina becoming a vampire, her martyr demands, and the Stalwart Classic Heroes swearing to give her what they all deem a merciful euthanasia should she turn. 

And then there’s Jonathan. Incapable of nodding along and agreeing with the Stalwart Good Course. Because it’s Mina. Mina exists at the height of importance in all things for him.

I bet it’s a shock in itself when he recognizes that--he really does value her existence, no matter what she is, above good and evil and God and Hell and the lives of innocents. The lives of his friends, who are already risking so much for their sake and the sake of all the strangers Dracula might yet prey on.

If only in his heart, Jonathan has to register himself as a villain in potentia. Would he die for these men? Die beside them? Yes, of course. 

But they still exist below Mina in importance. Everything does. 

These men are his friends. New, yes, but such a blessing in his lonely life; a small thing revolving around Mina, Lucy, Mr. Hawkins and casual acquaintances he charms but never grows close enough with to earn so much as a named mention in his journal. Seward, Holmwood, Morris and Van Helsing came into his life as his first real batch of friends, a premade camaraderie already set in place. He cares about them immediately and immensely. So much so that his will is made out to them should he and Mina die (or do more than die). 

Jonathan would never hurt them...unless he had no choice.

And the fact that that choice is there, lingering in the dark places of his mind where he cannot help putting together another hierarchy of unhappy ‘Would You Rathers?’, is what makes his constant grip on the kukri as tragic as it is foreboding.

[ballxbuster]

I'd like to introduce Luciel (@mini-moonlight's !!) and Theo.

❝You don't really hate my company, do you Himeros?❞

❝No, I suppose I don't... Lupin.❞

LUCIEL is our Kenshi. He has raven coloured hair, fair, freckled skin, and the most mesmerizing blue eyes. Luciel is an enigmatic personality, to say the least. Always was. Tense and cold, Luciel never enjoyed the company of other people; Theo included. He rarely speaks about his family, but Luciel found a new family in his trustworthy group of childhood friends. He's 6 foot 5, doesn't particularly like sports (but loves to cheer Theo on) and enjoys baking as a hobby. He's one of few people that can melt down Theo's ego and turn him into a puddle ;) Theo would like to be suffocated in his chest thanks.

THEO is the Johnny of the relationship. With equally as black hair as Luciel, his eyes are as silver as the moon, and his skin tan with beautiful freckles littered all over his face, he's popular amongst men and women. He has siblings he barely gets along with, a father who only sees him as a tool, a pawn of which must obey his father's every whim (spoiler, that mfker dies). He's 6 foot exactly, athletic, flexible, and uses "bro" "dude" and "man" as nouns. All of these contribute to his ever growing ego. Oh, and he's got a mean punch. Like shit, he may be built like a stick but he's strong. Did I mention he's a werewolf?

L: What Theo is to me? Well, Theo is my sun but he's also so much more than that. He's a warm touch and a guiding hand when I cannot bring myself to be. He's a bright and playful laugh over late night cookies. He's the man with the moon reflecting in his silver eyes that stare back at me like I'm the most precious thing in his life. He's my rock, the reason I'm able to love and let myself be loved again. He's the one thing I cannot live without. Theo is my lover, mine all mine.

T: Luci is.. everything to me. At first, he was a challenge, an enemy, perhaps. But then he became my friend, my best friend. And now? I love him so much I couldn't imagine my life before meeting him. He's saved my life, on multiple occasions! *laughs* He is my soulmate, which I think is something I knew from the moment we met. He was more than just an experience, Luciel has left a permanent mark on my life.

NOW SOME FUNKY QUOTES

Theo: That was so hot, Luciel.

Luciel: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Theo: I'm so in love with you.

Theo: Your smile looks forced.

Luciel, clearly annoyed: That’s because it is.

Theo, sweating: Luciel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Luciel: Finally! You’re proposing!

Theo: How’d you know?

Luciel: Theo, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Luciel: I even picked it up once.

Theo: Bro-

Luciel: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Luciel: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Theo, trying to flirt with Luciel: I think both of our families suck.

Theo: running towards Luciel with open arms

Luciel: moves out of the way

Theo: Hey, why'd you move?!

Luciel: I thought you were going to attack me.

Theo: I was going to hug you!

Luciel: Why would you hug me?

Theo: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Luciel: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Theo: It was autocorrect.

Luciel: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Theo: ....Yes.

Luciel: Is something burning?

Theo, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Luciel: Theo, the toaster is literally on fire.

Theo: We have a problem.

Luciel: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

guess whos the top and whos the bottom lol

-> I may reblog with headcanons at a later date!

also gonna tag @euphoricbi and @shinshoyu

[ncisladaily]

NCIS: Hawai’i 3×02 “Crash and Burn” is a much stronger episode than NCIS: Hawai’i 3×01 “Run and Gun,” as the second part of any two-parter has to be. It gives every member of the team a chance to shine and gives their particular dynamics some space to flourish while letting Sam a chance to just be Sam. There’s no denying he adds something to the team, even if the fact that he is around in the first place means more questions than answers in the grand scheme of the NCIS-verse.

The Season 3 premiered made Sam’s presence too much about Jane Tennant. NCIS: Hawai’i 3×02 “Crash and Burn” pulls back and remembers that Tennant has gotten through a lot of hard times before and that yes, having people is always better than having no people …but that Jane Tennant doesn’t need no man to save her. She never has.

So why is Sam Hanna around?

It’s hard to tell just yet. Probably because LL Cool J was available and it’s hard to say not LL Cool J if you have the possibility, and honestly, no one really wanted NCIS: Los Angeles to be canceled in the first place. Story-wise, it really serves no purpose beyond these two episodes. Not that Sam won’t be helpful. A guy like Sam Hanna always will be. And he doesn’t have an established life in Los Angeles like the other characters in NCISLA, that part is true. But he does have friends. A partner. And, you know, a boss he cares for that he was committed to helping save.

Loose ends and all of that.

No one (okay, me, no one is just me) will complain if Hawai’i ends up being the place where some of these loose ends end up being tied off. Another crossover with NCIS is probably in the cards. Maybe NCIS: Sydney comes into play next season. Perhaps the characters from NCIS: Los Angeles can still return for one last hurrah. Either way, there’s a lot of life left in the NCIS- verse, and Sam Hanna being around proves that.

The Hawai’i Team

Every little team-up works in this episode, from Kai and Jesse (and the third musketeer), who have come a long way from those moments in the Pilot when it seemed like they would never see eye to eye, to Lucy and Kate, who have also come a long way from UST to working together pretty harmoniously. The Hawai’i team is a well-oiled machine of people who like each other, trust each other, and even when they’re joking around and being a little competitive with each other, work pretty well together.

The episode doesn’t even need to have big moments. We don’t need Lucy and Kate to be all over each other for Hawai’i to make it clear they’re a couple, and we don’t need an episode focused on Kai and Jesse’s friendship to see how much that has changed and deepened. The actors make the little moments count to the point that when we do get an episode that focuses on these dynamics, it’s a thousand times more meaningful because it’s not something new, it’s just reaffirmation.

Things I think I think:

Look, after a second crash landing in a year, I’m not getting on another plane.

Not sure I would have gotten in one after the first one.

“Sounds like a you problem.” I mean, he isn’t wrong!

Lucy’s competitiveness is kinda cute, but it’s also kinda …scary.

Also, any excuse for Lucy and Kate to work together is fine in my book.

How did Sam even fade into the background? I didn’t even think that was possible.

I don’t trust you, Henry Ian Cusick.

“If I was you, I’d do the same. But you gotta own it. Or you’ll eat yourself alive.”

Kate + Lucy + Ernie = perfection.

Honestly, I don’t think I saw until this episode how Tennant provides Sam with the same kinda character dynamics as Callen did. I’m kinda blown away by this discovery. I’m gonna need 48 business hours to process.

Three Musketeers? Really?

“It’s good to ease back into work.”

“We want to take care of you.” I trust this about 67% only.

LOL, Sam’s whole “you’re okay, even if sometimes you’re not” is like an NCIS motto.

Sam and Jane need to get a drink with Nick Torres too. Cut from the same cloth. Just SAYING. Get Callen in there and ooof.

Maybe the reason they’re not telling us why Sam is in Hawai’i is because there’s no GOOD REASON for Sam to be around. Like, sure, maybe Sam needs a friend, but he’s got Callen and Kensi and Deeks and Fatima and Roundtree AND he also has the mission to save Hetty and that’s a lot of unfinished business to now just take his boat to Hawai’i and hang.

I’m glad to see Sam, don’t get me wrong, but like, continuity matters. Please, at some point, at the very least, try to give us an update. And fix the Hetty matter. You can’t bring Sam in and not do that.

[krash-and-co]

Kat backstory???👀

*vibrating in excitement* ok get ready for my word vomit that's mostly made up by me because we NEVER LEARN A DAMN THING ABOUT KAT

spoilers for the whole series under cut, just be warned

ok just btw this is based more off of book canon because she acts a bit different in the show :)

so let's start off with her lack of sense of humor. she doesn't even do that cheesy laughing-along-at-a-mean-joke thing that all book and tv bullies do, she kinda just. stands there. Lucy says she's almost uncomfortable, annoyed, when people laugh, cuz she can't tell why. no humor. (and yes I would bring in SHES NEURODIVERGENT because duh everyone ends up headcanoned neurodivergent by me eventually, but that's not the point lol)

so, with a combination of possibly this and her job, she doesn't seem to have many friends, nor is she exactly the life of the party. she seems kinda distant from everyone. no emotions. does not care. but then in hollow boy when Bobby goes missing she reacts quite strongly, and she also mourns the loss of Ned. so clearly these were her friends. she LOVED these people. and that isn't talked about too much in the books; Lucy likes to think she's blank and empty and unattached, which is true, but she also seems to be very loyal to those she loves. and this is where I come in >:)

ok explanation over, here goes my backstory that has very little to do with what was given in canon, as we were not GIVEN much to start

so i fixated on her being close to bobby on that one scene and headcanoned that she had a younger sibling before. a little brother. she was really sweet to him and loved him a ton, although to everyone else she seemed distant and cold, but that was ok. she didn't mind, that was just how she was. she loved him and would do anything for him. then she joined fittes as soon as she was old enough, her father made her, and it was fine until her brother did too. so strings were pulled. he joined her team (not kipps team yet btw, an entirely different one.) and, as things go, he was killed on a case. with her there. cuz you know, trauma

but the one person she was soft around. gone. she became even more distant with nobody to give her love to, nobody to be loyal to.

she was switched teams. she needed it. her old one was killing her inside. she joined kipps' team, a new supervisor, clearly grumpy and incredibly disappointed of where he wound up, but it was ok. she warmed up to him. he was decent; he'd get closer to them later, she'd learn. and then came Ned; he was a bit dense and laughed a lot. kat wasn't sure why; nothing he said was funny anyway. he was rather annoying, she decided. but ned noticed this and tried his hardest to get her to crack a smile. (nothing worked, not because she didn't want to but because she straight up didn't get it lol.) the first time it actually worked was when he accidentally ran into a pillar on a case, which caused her to double over laughing (much to her surprise), which in turn made him as well, and kipps tried to hide his smile too. however, fittes wasn't too big of a fan of this display of unprofessional behavior, so the joking was kept mostly to themselves, when they weren't AT fittes.

and then came bobby. he was brand new, really small and quite scared looking most of the time. ned feared if she breathed too hard he'd blow away and said this aloud with a smile, but Kat's heart had been touched. he was just like her brother. she wasn't going to let anything happen to him. as cases went on, she babied him even more and treated him like her own sibling, and Ned found it funny and then joined in. more found family!! bobby had already accepted his place as kats new little sister that he could not do a thing about. kipps wasn't too big of a fan of this unprofessional behavior, but kat knew better than that. he loved his new little family too, even if they were all a little confused with life and almost permanently unrelaxed. they could only find themselves letting their guards down together. not even on purpose, it's just how it happened. kat was always tense otherwise. the others confused her. but she was so loyal to her new family.

then, as we all know, Ned dies. bobby was a mess; that was his big brother. kat was frozen. that was the boy who really taught her how to laugh, her teammate, her best friend. she found herself even closer to bobby then. they had to stay close. there goes the family.

so you can imagine her horror when Bobby ran away to find Ned's fetch; she couldn't lose him too!! but then he came back. he was hurt, she knew, but it was ok because he was there now. he'd be fine. she took care of him even though he insisted he didn't need it after that case, laughing gently, literally the very definition of caring big sister. she'd never let it happen again. she found herself closer to him still.

but then kipps went too. went and tried to stuff down his feelings like he didn't care, like kat could even stand him leaving. they were both frozen, both numb. kipps had left, kipps, who acted like he didn't care about them in public, like he was just the boss, someone above them, when he really loved them too. how dare he.

so then the final two were forced to split up. you can't have a team of two agents and no supervisors, after all. kat got a new team. so did Bobby. she saw him in a few cases that he was part of; it took everything in her to not run to him, and once she gave in and did. then it took everything else to finally pry herself free. bobby asked about kipps. kat told him she didn't know anything, which was true, she just didn't add that she was too hurt by him not fighting for them to try and find out.

she did see him, though, once, walking down the street. he tried to wave for her attention. she pretended not to see and sped away.

ok, kinda just grasping at random stuff to find what happens next. clearly she doesn't get Ned or kipps back. fittes is kinda not the way it was anymore; not too sure how that's going to work out for her. she'll see bobby again tho, I will NOT let her never see him again. I like to think he made some friends on his new team, but he'll always miss his old one. maybe kat will stop to see him when she can more often, idk. come to think of it, we never learned it any of them are alive...... ok for kats sake I am making the decision that bobby did not die.

I don't think she'd want to go home. I do think, tho that she needs a less traumatic life IDK HOW THIS HAPPENED ALL I DID WAS GIVE HER A BROTHER AND TAP INTO EMOTIONAL ISSUES

SO

kat gets a job at Arif's. he's a grandfather figure for her now. she delivers and sometimes helps decorate donuts and learns to feel love again.

ok that was LONG I apologize. I also didn't proofread it really so uh forgive typos and nonsense please (or tell me lol)

I may make an actual fic of this rather than just a really long summary lol

[the-rewatch-rewind]

Long fun episode featuring my brother!

Transcript below the break

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 20 on my list: Miramax, Jane Starz Productions, and Blessington Films Productions’ 2004 fantasy comedy Ella Enchanted, directed by Tommy O’Haver, written by Laurie Craig, Karen McCullah, Kirsten Smith, Jennifer Heath, and Michele J. Wolff, based on the book by Gail Carson Levine, and starring Anne Hathaway and Hugh Dancy.

Cursed with the “gift” of obedience in infancy, Ella (Anne Hathaway) becomes increasingly desperate to break free when her father remarries, and her step-mother and step-sisters (played by Joanna Lumley, Lucy Punch, and Jennifer Higham) take advantage of her forced compliance. Finally she runs away to find and confront the fairy who cursed her, and makes several friends along the way, including an elf named Slannen (Aiden McArdle), and, of course, a prince named Charmont (Hugh Dancy).

I didn’t see this movie in theaters, but I did see it the year it came out. I watched it once in 2004, seven times in 2005, once in 2006, once in 2008, once in 2009, once in 2012, once in 2013, twice in 2014, once in 2015, once in 2016, twice in 2019, and once in 2021. The vast majority of those viewings were with my brother Quinn, so I asked him to join me and help explain why we love this movie so much. We had a very long, very fun conversation that I hope you will enjoy.

Hi, Quinn!

Quinn

Hello!

Jane

Welcome to the Rewatch Rewind. 

Quinn 

How exciting to be here! I feel famous. 

Jane 

Yes, you've definitely been mentioned in many previous episodes. 

Quinn 

It's very fun for me as your sibling, having grown up with you and been in the background of a lot of these watches, I'm guessing, to hear some of your takes as as a grown person on on these movies. And just kind of revisiting, you know, it takes me back to a time and place as well hearing you talk about them. So this podcast is personally very fun for me. 

Jane 

Have there been any movies that you hadn’t seen? 

Quinn 

You know none that immediately come to mind. There's definitely movies I didn't watch nearly as much as you did. Like, I think there's a couple movies that I've heard your, your… you explaining on the podcast, your affinity for them is kind of the first time I've heard, like, your insights, and like all the, the nuances that you notice about each of the movies. But no, I'm pretty sure I've been familiar with all of the movies that you've talked about. Like Adam's Rib, like I maybe never watched it all the way from start to finish, but I've certainly seen the “like a sound part” and the the highlight parts of the movie that you noted in the podcast. 

Jane 

Yeah, cause I think Rosemary's told me there's a couple that she was not sure that she'd seen. 

Quinn 

OK, it was news to me that everyone hated Bringing up Baby. I think I probably did at some point know that, and then just like forgot overtime but…

Jane 

Yeah, I feel like the rest of the family would never watch it with us.

Quinn 

Well, no and I didn't… I I completely didn't realize that that I… it always stuck out to me as one of my favorite movies of that time and era, and I don't think that I was ever old enough when I watched it to really question the like logistics of it, or like the premise. So, but I always loved Bringing up Baby. I thought it was funny. And I think that it's funny that people were so irritated with Katharine Hepburn because I think she's hilarious in the whole thing. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, so I did remember, like I almost was like, oh, yeah, everyone I know hates this movie, I was like, oh no, Quinn likes this movie! 

Quinn 

Well, I'm glad to get the shout out. I really didn't realize it was a controversial stance that I had. 

Jane 

Yes, well, I know a lot of like old movie fans that I've met online were telling me, like, “Oh yeah, I love Bringing up Baby!” So it's not just us, but... 

Quinn 

Yeah, definitely. You talked about its reputation as being kind of like a standout screwball comedy. I think that definitely makes sense. I think that it doesn't get screwier than Bringing Up Baby.

Jane 

Yeah, it is, it is THE screwball comedy. Yeah, so as far as the movie we're talking about today though, I think…

Quinn 

Made many decades later. 

Jane 

Yes! I think that that's one that we definitely fell in love with together, that like a lot of the movies I've talked about so far are like specific to me watching and then you would kind of watch them with me. But I think with Ella Enchanted, we watched it together and grew to love it together, so that's why I wanted to have you on for this episode. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah, I definitely think that like looking at your list and like thinking about like oh what are some of the reasons why they ended up here? Like Ella Enchanted, I feel responsible for in ways that I might not feel responsible for other movies on this list. 

Jane 

Yes. Well, I think what's important for our listeners to understand is that when you were younger, like you're quite a bit younger than me. And when you were little, you really liked to, like, pick a movie and watch it a bunch, like, really close together. Is that fair? 

Quinn 

Oh yes, I had phase movies for sure. Like it was, I can think of particular movies that I would watch all the time and I could never tell you the reason why I stopped watching any of these movies. But there would be a period of time that I would just get really hot with a certain movie and that would be all I wanted to watch and then… I guess I would just get over it. 

Jane 

And I think that Ella Enchanted is the only one of those that has made it onto my list. 

Quinn 

Yes, I would say that's fair. And I, Ella Enchanted was for sure one of those movies, and I would actually say one of the things I for sure wanted to talk about today was the soundtrack for Ella Enchanted, I would say is has been a pillar of my music appreciation over the years and like that soundtrack is actually very good…

Jane 

It's very good. 

Quinn

…and I think introduced me to a lot of like older songs like classic songs that I otherwise wouldn't have known that I think was important in my developing a music taste as well. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah. There's definitely a lot of covers of really famous songs. It's kind of weird that they chose to go that direction with, like, this fairy tale story like that they did more like rock songs. But it works really well. It was just kind of an odd choice when you, like, read the book, you don't necessarily think like, oh, this would be perfect to have like a Queen song. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah. And I was actually thinking about, you had mentioned fans of the book Ella Enchanted that the movie is adapted from tend to be pretty disappointed with this adaptation. And I agree that it's a pretty poor representation of the book, and I guess I've sort of reimagined the movie as more just like another like retelling of Cinderella and, and I guess, like kind of with Ella Enchanted flavor to it. Like there's a lot of the plot points that like kind of the core characterizations of some of the characters are borrowed from Ella Enchanted. But yeah, I mean, I think there's so many adaptations of fairy tales out there, and like I think that it's a very fun and ultimately like kind of visionary choice that they went with like sort of this like 70's rock theme for the soundtrack that sort of like didn't really have any other connection to the story, but just those were the songs that they went with. And I do know that like specifically with Somebody to Love, which I think is kind of the key musical moment in the movie that was really sort of driven from like, I guess Tommy O'Haver was working with Anne Hathaway on some kind of like more traditional, like folksy fairy tale song. And it didn't suit her voice as well as Somebody to Love. So I feel like it was also very driven by like who were the people making the movie and what their tastes were, which is, I also think probably why it works because it was driven from an organic place. 

Jane 

Yeah definitely. And I think that casting Anne Hathaway and then like using her, because like, at that point, she was mostly known for Princess Diaries, which I guess she still is known for Princess Diaries, but, like, kind of taking that sort of flavor of princess of, like, I guess it's not really like a modern story, Ella Enchanted, because it's sort of set in this…made-up fairy tale-ish place, but like definitely has, like modern sensibilities that I think that like putting… I mean, Anne Hathaway has also done period work that's been good. I mean, she won an Oscar, but like, I think that taking her like personality and more modern sensibilities and putting it into this fairy tale thing worked really well. And I think that if they had tried too hard, like again, like, recognizing that that song didn't fit her voice and tried too hard to push her in a different direction. I don't think the movie would have worked.

Quinn 

Oh yes, Anne Hathaway is very much allowed to be Anne Hathaway in this movie and it's fantastic. I think one of my biggest takeaways from this movie in watching it relatively recently in preparation for this conversation was just how essential I feel it is in the Anne Hathaway story. Because, I mean, you see her, I think debuting in a lot of people's eyes, I think she was in a movie or two before Princess Diaries. Or was that her debut? 

Jane 

I think it might have been her debut. 

Quinn 

And I feel like you have definitely a star is born moment with Princess Diaries and she really I think emerged as someone to watch and as a a star that could like hold their own with Julie Andrews and and sort of have this kind of fun, relatable charm. Like I do see sort of like the Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrences that come after really sort of taking something from the Anne Hathaway School of being a young it girl actress. And I feel like it was Ella Enchanted that really I think the singing particularly introduced this new layer to her talent, you know, circle and now all of a sudden, Anne Hathaway can be in musicals and she's very good at singing. And I just think that it was a very important stepping stone to her becoming a superstar. And I mean, she won the Oscar for a musical. So I think you know I can see, you know, maybe she would have ended up in Les Mis regardless of Ella Enchanted, but I do think this movie really put her on the map. And it's funny because I don't think it's a like particularly well regarded movie in any sort of circles, but I have to think that it had some really important impacts on Anne Hathaway's career following. 

Jane 

Oh yeah, definitely. So had you read the book before seeing the movie, do you remember? 

Quinn 

I actually I don't remember, but if I had to guess, I would say I saw the movie first, and I think you knew the book and so were able to like give some context when I would see it early. And then I did eventually read the book and like it. It has been a long time since I've read the book though, so I cannot really recall what is different about the movie in the books now. 

Jane 

Yeah, I haven't read the book in a long time. I had read the book definitely before I saw the movie, and it was kind of like, I feel like the book was different than this. But like the, I mean the basic premise is the same, but it's different to the point that I, like you said, I kind of consider them two different things, and I can definitely see why fans of the book would think that the movie was a bad adaptation, but at the same time it's like, it's fun. They did their own thing with it and…

Quinn 

Well, and Ella Enchanted is an adaptation too, which I think it for me is what makes it work. 

Jane 

Right. 

Quinn 

And like I have been thinking in a lot of like media that I've seen recently with elements of the Cinderella story in it of like, what are some of the things I like about each retelling? And like I I texted you out of the blue when I was watching Into the Wood randomly and I was like, I think the Cinderella in Into the Woods is my favorite all time Cinderella. So like I did also, when I watched it recently was kind of thinking about like what are my favorite interpretations of the Cinderella story like in Ella Enchanted and what are some of the things that I think work better in other retellings? It's a story that is just very familiar at this point. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's been told and retold time and time again, and I I know you haven't listened to the Enchanted episode yet, but we talked about Cinderella quite a bit in that episode, too, because it's sort of like the fairy tale. And I think it's so interesting in Ella Enchanted that they added this layer of her being cursed. And it's not just that she has a really mean stepmother and step sisters. But it's like, literally they could order her not to leave and she would not be able to leave. 

Quinn 

Yeah, the curse is awful. And I do think Cinderella in all tellings of the story is someone who is abused,

Jane 

Right. 

Quinn 

and I think that that is a very important  facet of the story, and I think you and I've talked a lot about how there's a lot of like dismissal of Cinderella as a character in many iterations of just like being this damsel, like this bad representation of, you know, femininity and you know, just waiting around for a man. But I think that the curse really illuminates just some of the cruelty that I think Cinderella in all versions of the story experiences. But it's they almost don't really emphasize the chores, and like the the working and the cinder part of Cinderella, and they even dropped that from her name. It's it's less about the labor that she's expected to do and more just that this curse really defines all aspects of her life and turns even people that are trying to help her against her. And yeah, it's a terrible, terrible curse. And I think that it's a very lighthearted movie, but it's very dark what she has to go through. 

Jane 

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that it also… they do a good job of showing her sort of fighting the curse. And again, like you said, there's this perception that Cinderella is sort of a weaker, more passive character, but she really has always been, you know, very strong in being able to break away from her horrible situation. And I think they show Ella really doing everything she can to fight the curse and be like, OK, I'm gonna do what you told me, but I'm gonna do like, my own version of it. Like I'm gonna try and find loopholes in these orders so that I don't have to actually be under your thumb. And yeah, I I just, I think that's very well done. 

Quinn 

From a narrative perspective, it's a really powerful way to empower the character of of Ella and make her, I think, have people see more of themselves in her too, by giving her something to really fight against and be subversive against. And I think that that, I mean, it drives the plot of the movie. It's it's a good a good narrative tool. 

Jane 

Yeah and then there's the whole thing about that she's trying to fight for the rights of like elves and giants and other types of mystical beings who have been subjugated by the government. And I think that there's a little bit of an element of like sort of a savior complex in some of what she does, but I think that ultimately she feels a kinship with these people that are being forced to do things against their will because she's literally being forced to do things against her will all the time when people tell her to do stuff, she has to do it. And I think that that gives her a lot of empathy for, like giants being forced to do farm labor, and elves being forced to sing and dance. And I think they do a good job of showing that in the story. That like she feels like she kind of understands some of what they're going through and that's part of why she feels so strongly about trying to help them. 

Quinn 

Yeah, yeah, I think that it's also, I would love to see sort of the same premise of this story exist now and kind of retold now that we know a little bit more about how to be maybe a better ally or to sort of be a little bit more inclusive and less performative. Because I do think you know, in watching it recently, there were some things Ella said and did that I was like, ooh I don't know about that as you know, good activism. Like thinking specifically about how, when her and Prince Char returned to Lamia, which is where the palace is, you know where the Prince is there. He clearly has some kind of status and they're with an elf companion, their elf friend Slannen, and like they just he gets thrown out of the the palace and they stand there and don't seem to like, do anything to try to stop it. It's like, OK, well, we need to, like, act upon our convictions. So yeah, there's little things like that. And also like when Slannen the elf is trying to talk to Prince Charmont about working with his uncle to maybe allow elves to have other careers than being performers or entertainers cause he wants to be a lawyer and he's saying, “Well, can you petition your uncle the literal king for me to be a lawyer?” And he's just like, “I can't do that! That would be weird. It simply isn't done!” And so those are the types of things where the movie does let me down a little bit because I want to see, you know, some real advocacy and allyship. But I do think that you make such a good point about Ella feeling a kindred spirit to these marginalized peoples and really having that empathy and speaking up and saying something. I think that that is very clear throughout the movie and that is what allows her to be successful ultimately, is these relationships that she's built that she has built through empathy and through, you know, walking in people's shoes and hearing their stories and listening to them. So I think that there is a really beautiful message of of caring for the marginalized and advocating throughout the movie. 

Jane 

Yeah and I do think that there's they show that Prince Char, at least they show him as very like privileged and ignorant initially and that he, like again, he definitely could do more, but I'm thinking about like the scene when he listens to the giant leader and like, he's actually like, oh, wow, I didn't realize how bad things were. I'm going to try and make things better, and again, I don't know what he actually does, but he does become king, presumably at the end after his uncle dies. So hopefully he does…. 

Quinn 

He does sing Elton John. That we do know. 

Jane 

Yes, so I mean obviously there's only one step between sing Elton John and free the marginalized people, so… 

Quinn 

He's on the right path. 

Jane 

Yeah, yes. So again, yes, you're right, it definitely could do more, but I also think that they have some good points. There's some almost there moments, I think. 

Quinn 

Oh yeah, and in in thinking about the times, like, I think that those some of those interactions and conversations were like stepping stones to, I think more fruitful ways to interact in those spaces and in those conversations, but it definitely, you know I I think that's a very presentist mindset to even look at some of those conversations critically, because you know, at that time those were conversations that were the most tolerant things got. So, you know, it's definitely have to make allowances for differences in in time. And I do have to say, I think talking about Prince Charmont as a character, I think he is one of the better, more developed Prince characters that you get in one of these Ella Enchanted Cinderella retellings, and I think Hugh Dancy really played like, I think, all of the acting in this movie is really phenomenal. I think that's a headline for me is that it's a very well acted movie, even though it's probably objectively pretty bad. 

Jane 

The script left something to be desired, but the actors did the best they could with it. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah, OK, let's just dive into it because I think that there is no better argument for “there are no small parts” than this movie because every single one of the actors in this movie like nails - and I don't mean like this in a casual like - nails their role. Like every performance I can think of, like one of my favorites to just like think about is Minnie Driver and like as Mandy who is like the fairy kind of governess of Ella and like she's not a very powerful fairy, so she's not that helpful in terms of her magical skill abilities, but like, she's kind of an ally to Ella in her abusive home and like, plays a role throughout the story. Very minimal and like the character of Mandy, I think I remember being pretty important in the Ella Enchanted book, and like they really, I think the writers really stripped this character of, like any kind of, like, notable personality. But Minnie Driver was just like, “Nuh-uh! Not my part!” And she just like, finds these like perfect comedic moments, and it's like she has like one line in a scene, and just like is so in character the whole time and is just like hysterical., completely matches like the attitude of just being like a little, like, sassy, and over it. And I'm like, that's just like one of the very bit parts. Like you've got like the the, I don't remember her name, but the actress who plays Olive, who's just like deranged and like all the, like, kleptomaniac stuff. And she's just like, “Ooh hoo hoo!” like, the whole time completely in character. Joanna Lumley is there, like, serving evil stepmother. Like she is not letting a moment go by without just like commanding the scene. Vivica A. Fox like comes in and does her like flashy, sassy little, like unhelpful cutaway scenes that are, like, again, all of these roles are pretty insignificant, don't have a lot of screen time, don't have much to work with, terrible script and like these actresses are just like, “This is the best role I've ever played in my life!” It's so much fun. It's like you talked a couple of podcasts ago about your favorite movies to watch being like ones where the actors are clearly having a good time. And like, I just feel like, you know, Anne Hathaway gives a fantastic performance and is committed and plays all the emotional highs and lows. She has the most terrible lines to say and she just like, gets through it like a professional. Hugh Dancy is like also having a good time, and it's like appropriately, like, kind of like charming and aloof. And like Slannen is memorable. Like he's got that, like, you know, conviction. And he has some very, like, silly, like, physical comedy moments as well. And then you've got like Jim, who's on Downton Abbey? Like playing this like ogre, who like has these dramatic cutaways while he's trying to eat people like just great performances all around.

Jane 

Yeah, I agree. I think that you're right. That is a big part of why I enjoy this movie is that it's very apparent that everybody was just having fun. And you get that, especially with the big dance number at the end, which is just kind of random and like, why are they singing Don't Go Breaking My Heart at a wedding? Like…

Quinn 

Ohh my gosh, it's so. It's fun though.

Jane 

It's just, yes. 

Quinn 

Like I I've never questioned… Like it's a weird song choice, but I'm just, that is one of the most joyful, perfect finales to a movie that I've ever seen, like where everyone gets a little bit of something to do. You like, get that fun, like end credits. Here's everyone's final bow, and it's just like a ton of fun. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's just unfortunate that Lucy Punch. Is that her name? 

Quinn 

Oh yes. 

Jane 

She doesn't get to be in it because- 

Quinn 

Well, and I just realized I didn't mention her performance, but I feel like it deserves its own subsection. So Lucy Punch, who plays Hattie, the step sister of Ella, the mean stepsister, I…. that is my all time favorite interpretation of the evil stepsister character, because Hattie is just like, very impetuous, but she is dangerous and she, like, serves a role in the story that actually, you know, like her ratting out Ella is what leads to some of the highest stakes in the story eventually, s I do feel like so often the step sisters are really just like bit characters that don't really have much to do other than like be mean to Cinderella in like one or two scenes. And I feel like she both took that sort of like superfluous, frivolous quality that the step sisters have and like, did that, but also, like, they did find a way to work her way into the plot. She had a bit of menace and a bit of intelligence that she was able to use to try to achieve her own goals. And then I think has a great, like, humiliating downfall. And this is made all the better by the fact that Lucy Punch is like this was her dream role to play a step sister. And be this character and like she is a step sister in Into the Woods and in something else, I'm pretty sure. 

Jane 

I feel like she's played Cinderella's step sister at least four times. 

Quinn 

Yes. And like that was her dream role and this actress is just like having the best time being this character. Like it totally shows and I think that Hattie is like a standout character and performance throughout the entire thing as well. And it is a shame that she is not in the finale, but it's because of a deleted scene. And you can see the deleted scene if you get the DVD. 

Jane 

Yes, which I think is a good way to transition into why we have seen this movie so many times because yes, it is fun. And yes, we would watch it a bunch probably normally anyway, but the reason that we have watched it quite this many times is because we had the DVD and we discovered how delightful the audio commentary is. And I didn't keep track of how many times I watched it with or without commentary. But I would say that more than half of the times I watched it were with commentary. 

Quinn 

Yes, I mean, I think it became… you could have almost kept track of this movie two different ways, like watching it in its original form and watching it with commentary, because I think you we went to either at different times when we were looking for different things in a viewing experience. 

Jane 

Yeah, but I would, I think that…that even if I counted them separately, the commentary watching would be enough to be in my Top 40. 

Quinn 

You know, I I was gonna say I Jane mentioned this episode. You mentioned it to me. And I kept thinking you were going to schedule it and schedule it. And I'm like, wow, Ella Enchanted really made it far up this list because it's been several weeks now. It's pretty deep in the ranking. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's #20 so it's in the top half. 

Quinn 

Yeah. Top half. I'm stunned. 

Jane 

Yes, but yeah, so I don't remember how many times I'd seen it just normally before we discovered the commentary. But the commentary is just… it just adds a whole other level and like one of the things that you said earlier that made me think of it was when you were talking about Vivica A Fox being fabulous. And like, Anne Hathaway mentions in the commentary the scene when she's tied up to a tree and Lucinda shows up and she's like, oh, I'm going to help rescue you. And she's like, no, I want to be chained to this tree so I don't have to kill Char. And in the commentary, Anne Hathaway says that, like Vivica A Fox was so excited to do that scene. And she, Anne, was kind of like, “I don't know. I don't really like the lines” and Vivica’s like, “Oh, I'm not gonna say the lines. But we're gonna have fun!”

Quinn 

Yes, one of an Ella Enchanted moment that I think about probably most of any other, although there's so many, is like right after she sets her free, Vivica A. Fox, is just standing in this, like, fabulous pose and she's like, “Well, aren't I fabulous?” while Ella is just like, “This is terrible! This is not what I wanted!” It's just like a fabulous moment of just, like, completely not taking in any of your surroundings. You're the main character, the story is you, forget about everybody else, forget whose movie it. It's, it's Vivica A Fox. It's just, it's fabulous. But yes, the commentary which it features, Anne Hathaway and Hugh Dancy. So the two romantic leads of the movie and Tommy O’Haver, who is the director, he's like maybe the one you don't know, but if you don't know him you should. They just narrate the whole movie and it is absolutely hysterical, like the tone that these three have together is great. It's as if they're the best friends. They probably haven't spoken to each other in a decade now, which makes me sad because in my mind they hang out every day and commentate on things. Like they just have great chemistry. You can tell all three of them had a lot of fun making the movie and they're just like having a good time, and you can really you feel like you were there with them, like making this ridiculous movie that really wasn't that good, but damn it, they worked hard. 

Jane 

Yeah and it's like it's exactly what you would want from audio commentary, I think, which is like behind the scenes trivia because they have quite a bit of that. And then just like some like tea, like a little bit, not a lot of tea, but just like sort of like, oh, this didn't work very well or like, I was actually really miserable this day or something like that.

Quinn 

Well, they talk about like, little like spats they had with each other, but it's like, “Oh yeah, we got in a fight about that that day. I felt very this way” like it's it's all like it clearly happened like over a year ago. 

Jane 

Yeah, so there's that. But then just also like. Each one of them has a different thing that they kind of focus on more, which is nice that like they're not just kind of saying the same thing because like Hugh Dancy talks a lot about, like the stunt people. And like he was friends with them. And then Anne Hathaway- This is another thing, too, is like the commentary, like, really shows you how and how Anne Hathaway was like, set up to be super successful in Hollywood because she, like, remembers everybody's name, everybody who worked on this, like even like all the like, minor crew people and she's just like, yeah, this person did a great job and she, like, seems very like gracious. And like she actually cares, but is also very good at networking. And I think that that's exactly what you have to be to be like successful and someone that people like. 

Quinn 

Well, and you really get a sense of Anne Hathaway's work ethic, too. 

Jane 

Oh yeah. 

Quinn 

Which I think very much it comes through in the commentary where you just, like, get a sense of, like, all the things that she's thinking about. You hear a lot of the things that she's insecure about, and just like all of the the dynamics of being the Anne Hathaway of of this movie, being a movie star, being the the center of attention, both like in the internal world of the movie and in the external world of making the movie and in the even more external world of like marketing the movie and being the star.

Jane

Right.

Quinn

Like it's a very actually like I think nuanced character study of Anne Hathaway listening to the commentary while being very fun. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah. And it's just like she never comes across as like, “Yes, I'm the star and I'm super famous and everyone should love me!” It's kind of like, “Yes, I'm putting in the work and I like really thought about this character and I really wanted to do a good job in this movie and I think everyone else worked really hard on it too.” And like definitely giving credit where credit is due and not really being super like... I mean obviously she talks about her own experiences, but not being super self-centered and like like everyone should be talking about me right now. 

Quinn 

And I think all three of the commentators really had that posture because Anne Hathaway does a great job of like mentioning like the lighting in this scene is beautiful and done by this person, that tailor was a tailor who works in Ireland. But I also think that like Hugh Dancy talks a lot about the stuntmen and like it's clear that he was like, legitimately really good friends with them, like during filming and would hang out with them. And like I think Tommy O’Haver also really like spotlights you know, actors and other people that worked on the movie. Like, I think you listen to it and it's like not like just them listing the credits, but it's like interesting seeing all of the different people that they each had to work with and spent time with. And like, how interesting it is just to put all these different people with all these different specialties in the same project together and just like stunt men interacting with movie stars and interacting with directors, interacting with lighting designers, interacting with other actors, it's all just very interesting to hear about the interactions that went into making the movie. 

Jane 

Yeah, it really highlights which I think I mean is probably true of pretty much every movie is that, like, just how interactive making a movie is, and just like what a collaborative effort it is. And it's not just like, oh, there's a few people involved and then there's, like, the background people that kind of help a little bit. It's like everybody really has to work together and like that's probably obvious to people who have made movies before. But I think when you're in the audience, you might not necessarily realize, I mean you see the long credits at the end, but just like how many people are involved in bringing this together and just how much they have to work together and trust each other to do their jobs. And I think that the Ella Enchanted commentary was kind of one of my first glimpses into just exactly what that looked like. And I think that that's part of what has like led me to be further interested in like, I'm not saying like I'm a filmmaker, but just sort of finding out a little bit more of the behind the scenes filmmaker stuff was really interesting to me without it feeling like, OK, now you're sitting down to a Filmmaking 101 class it it's all very fun the way they present it, but just like it gets you thinking of like, wow, there's so many people who work on movies that you never see who are really crucial to the process, and I really like that aspect of it and that they're definitely sure to give people as much credit as they can and not like you said, not listing the credits, just saying like, oh, this scene was really this person, like, really made it by doing their job kind of thing. And yeah, I really like that.

Quinn 

Yeah, and I think lots of DVD features have commentary on them, and so we've talked a lot about this commentary and it kind of leads to the question like what do you get from this commentary that like maybe you don't get in other movies with commentary? Cause I can't imagine there's another one on your list that like truly, you couldn't think of without the commentary which Ella Enchanted, I mean, it's inextricable from why you've watched this movie so many times. You wouldn't have watched this movie so many times without this commentary. I think it has all of these great things we've been talking about how deep it is, but it's also very funny.

Jane

Yes.

Quinn

And I feel like, you know, we quote and we've Mandela effected quotes from this commentary where like they don't actually say what we have ended up quoting years later, but like we quote this commentary so much to each other. Like probably the most quotable moment is like there's a point where Ella is supposed to in the movie like end up stopped in the middle of the road and there's like a horse drawn carriage that’s going to come and roll her over and she can't move because she's been ordered to stay because the Prince is going back to get the purse that she was carrying with her. And like they just describe how the line was originally, “MY SATCHEL!!!” when she realizes that she doesn't have it, and then the Prince is like, “Wait right there. I'll go get it.” And they're like, we had to cut that because we couldn't say it without laughing and they were like, then we I think we said, well, where's my satchel? We changed mine to where's my satchel and we still couldn't do it. S then in the movie is like, “Where's my purse?” is what she ends up saying. But like the “MY SATCHEL!” quote like, it's just the whole commentary is stuff like that. My other one of my other favorites, I can't even say things are above the other because it's all amazing. It's like, I guess all the sets had these different like almonds for Prince Char? 

Jane 

Yeah, all the, the castle sets had these dishes of candied almonds. 

Quinn 

Yeah, and it was just like this weird character study. And they're like, we want everyone in the Kingdom to enjoy my almonds! Like that Prince Char has his, like, favorite almonds. It's like this random detail that, like, you never would notice. There's just so many quotable moments, and like by all of them, all three of them really have great, hysterical little one liners. 

Jane 

Yeah, I was struggling to come up with a quote to use at the end of last episode because I was like all the good quotes are in the commentary. Yeah, cause the my satchel thing in particular, I feel like, I can't hear the word satchel without thinking of that, and sometimes I just think of it randomly. Just like “MY SATCHEL!!!”

Quinn 

Yeah and I also think one of the things that we have not yet talked about that I think the commentary does a good job of highlighting too, is that I love the costuming for that movie. I think that the costuming is perfect and they do a great job of talking about the different costumes, and you notice that characters have like signature colors, which I'm always, I don't know. I always really like that in movies when characters have signature colors. I think it's fun. And I I like that what that does visually is kind of like builds like a recognition for a certain character and seeing what color they're wearing, but like, I think it's cool. Like the characters have signature colors. I think the costumes are beautiful and well done, and the commentary does a good job of pointing out when that's the case. I think that Ella Enchanted is such a weird world and like you hear about all the different weird ways that this weird world was created together. But I do think it works surprisingly well like all told. You know, having these like kind of 70s-80s musical influences with kind of this like modern sensibility and the humor with like, costume, that kind of blended old and new with the signature colors, like something whimsical that pops like it all kind of like doesn't make sense in a way that makes sense. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think that the world is kind of similar to the world of Shrek in a way? Like, I think Shrek has a lot of those like… it's like sort of a medieval world, but also there's a lot of modern jokes. And I think that Hercules kind of does that too, of like being like set in the past, but also with these very modern jokes. And I think that was just like a really big thing in like the late 90s/early 2000s to kind of make that sort of world? And they really ran with it and Ella Enchanted. I think they really just leaned into, like, we're going to make this weird. And yeah, it works so much better than you would think it would on paper, if just like, yeah so it's like kind of medieval castle fairy tale but also modern, but also like from a few decades ago, and we're just going to throw all those things together. And yeah, it just really works. And I do agree that the costuming really helps with that because the costumes are, like sort of whimsical, but also like very focused on like the characters and like Ella’s are a lot more practical than like the step-sisters have, like the most ridiculous costumes, especially at the end. 

Quinn 

Shout out to Hattie’s ring in the ball scene. 

Jane 

It is like…her ring is like as big as her hand.

Quinn 

It is so ridiculous and so it's just perfect. 

Jane 

Giant orange. 

Quinn 

And I mean, I love the the fairies, like, especially like Lucinda, like has a very, I would say modern, like it's a very costumey, like think like, sexy fairy at Halloween outfit, but it's like Nope, it works. Let's go for it. And I think also having Heidi Klum in the movie helps with its fashion appeal. 

Jane 

Oh yeah. 

Quinn 

Heidi Klum is a giant. 

Jane 

I wonder if they consulted her, if like, she was a costume consultant too. 

Quinn 

I also have to say that we have not talked at all about Cary Elwes yet.

Jane

Oh yeah! Quinn

And I love his performance, talking about performances, he is clearly having a marvelous time. And I also love kind of the meta connection to Princess Bride because I do also think that there are some elements of, like it's like almost like a more modern frenetic world than Princess Bride is, but there's like, I think they serve as like similar kinds of movies, at least on paper. 

Jane 

Yeah, it does have kind of a similar tone to that. It doesn't have nearly as witty of dialogue as Princess Bride, but it definitely has like, a similar like world feel. Yeah, I definitely see what you’re saying. 

Quinn 

Like you could imagine, some of the characters interacting, so I think it's very… there's a fun parallel that like he's sort of in the story as more the Humperdinck character than, you know, being the romantic lead ultimately that he is in Princess Bride. 

Jane 

And he he was like just… He's so good, like, especially because like, as his character progresses. Like earlier in the movie, he's just sort of, like, vaguely menacing. And by the end, he's, like, completely like… maniacal laughing, just like going completely overboard with, like, I've just completely lost my mind! And he does that so well, like- 

Quinn 

And that's you can tell that's a choice that he made as an actor because you could have very easily played all of that very flat and probably not gotten the effect like you get that from his performance is what really gives you that story. 

Jane 

Yes. Oh my gosh I love the scene when he, after Hattie, has told him that Ella has to do whatever she's told, and he's, like, making her do the hokey pokey and all this stuff. But he's doing the most ridiculous dance in the background and it's like you're trying to make her look silly, but you look way sillier and it's so good. 

Quinn 

Yeah, like just the the gleeful evil of of it all. Yeah, it's it's really, it's fantastic acting. I'm telling- like, up, up, down, anywhere you look in this movie: well acted. 

Jane 

Yeah, 100% of the time. And then he has a snake sidekick. Which is very like reminiscent of a lot of Disney villains - which is part of why I always think this movie is Disney, but it's not Disney - but I think that they did a really good job with that snake. I guess originally they were going to have like an animatronic puppet and they just couldn't get it to work so they ended up-

Quinn 

Can you imagine how silly that would have looked? Like, I think them talking about their pathway to arriving at the conclusion that this snake had to be CGI is very funny in the commentary. 

Jane 

Yes, yes. Because it's like, um yeah, no, that wouldn't have worked. So they ended up with a CGI snake. And I think it looks good. 

Quinn 

It's very well done. It's fantastic and I think the the actor, I mean it's mostly a voice performance, but the acting is very good with Heston as well. 

Jane 

Yeah! Yeah , so I think that and that really adds to carry out was his character. What is his name? Edgar?

Quinn 

Edgar, who is the evil uncle. Sorry if we haven't said that. Yes, he is the king, who is the uncle of Prince Charmont, who is Hugh Dancy.

Jane 

And I think like the uncle killed the father? 

Quinn 

Yes. 

Jane 

It's like a little, little Hamlet moment. 

Quinn 

It’s kind of – a criticism: It's kind of thrown together. It's like, OK, I guess he killed the father. Like I want to see him killing the father. I wanna see the blood on his hands! 

Jane 

And then he's trying to kill Char also, I'm not exactly sure why… 

Quinn 

It's kind of Lion King action like… 

Jane 

Because Char was going to be coronated. Yes!

Quinn 

So I guess he was like kind of a Regent ruler because the dad had been killed and and the dad was much more, the king was much more tolerant of other life groups like ogres and elves, and then Edgar becoming the king, he made a lot of these like species segregationist policies so...

Jane

Yeah

Quinn

It's presumed that with Ella next to the throne and with Char being a much more morally upright person that with Edgar's passing and his coronation, things went right in Frell or Lamia or whatever the kingdom's name is, because Ella’s from Frell and Lamias where the castle is. I don't know what the whole common is called. Andalasia. 

Jane 

[laughs] Probably. It's also really interesting how they decided that, like the people from Lamia would have English accents, and the people from Frell would have American accents, and then they cast like mainly American people to be the Lamia people and mainly British people to be the Frell people. 

Quinn 

It was chaotic what was going on with the accents. 

Jane 

Yeah so people had to do different accents. I mean not entirely, cause like Hugh Dancy is actually English and had his normal accent. Anne Hathaway had her normal accent, but like, just like Minnie Driver had to do an American accent. 

Quinn 

And that one notable fairy who has that bit part does like a New York accent in in Lamia, but she was like Irish. 

Jane 

Yeah, well, yeah. And the person who plays Ella's mom was actually British or Irish or something, and…

Quinn 

[New York accent] Finding her would be something terrible.

Jane

[laughs] Yeah.

Quinn 

So many good lines! 

Jane 

There's some, there's some very strange accents going on, but it's fine. It works. 

Quinn 

Also Parminder Nagra is there.

Jane

Oh yeah.

Quinn

And she is honestly not one of the more memorable performances, but she does a really good job! 

Jane 

It's really upsetting, like, that's like one criticism that I have: I would really like to have seen another scene with Parminder Nagra's character at the end like… 

Quinn 

It's really stuck in there, like the resolution of that storyline with like like it- you can tell they like there was probably some scheduling problem of like her filming ER or something because like, it is weird. Like Areida is Ella's best friend. And and like they set up their characters and Ella actually like, really like screws her over because of the curse. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's a heartbreaking scene. 

Quinn 

It's a really sad scene and then I think that for whatever reason, they couldn't film any better resolution to that story other than like she just comes to the wedding and like, there's a cutaway scene where she's waving to the carriage and just goes, “Good luck, Ella!��� 

Jane 

And you know she was waving at nothing. 

Quinn 

And yeah, like, there's no way those women were in the same room when that happened. 

Jane 

Yeah, I mean, she is in the room at the wedding, like with her, and they cause she's part of the Don't Go Breaking My Heart 

Quinn 

Yeah, but like I that could have been filmed in post too, that cutaway shot. 

Jane 

That is true. Um, yeah so I think they really needed a scene where Ella explained what had happened. 

Quinn 

And like you assume that they were, you know, they healed the friendship, and they were in a good place. But like, they never said that. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's like, I mean, I get that they put that in there to show just like how bad, because that kind of was what pushed Ella over the edge of like, I guess I just have to live with this curse to being like, no, I need to get rid of this because her stepmother made her tell her best friend, like, “I could never be friends with you, and you suck, go away” basically. 

Quinn 

And yeah, I really, I think if it was a better script or like a better story, like the movie version, I don't really remember like how it happened in the book, but for the movie world that was created, I think involving Areida in some of the machinations at the end to, like take down Edgar would have, really fixed a lot of the, like narrative hole that is left with that storyline, like just to have Areida like give her some marginal role even where like she's for some reason there and can like help them do one thing like in the sequence to take down Edgar. Like just plug her in somewhere. And I think that would have been really nice to like have like her helping the cause and like reestablishing their relationship and then like then maybe you don't really need a final scene between them. You can just kind of use what you have at the end and be like, yeah, they figured it out. 

Jane 

Yeah, I agree that definitely would have been a really good way to do it, but… 

Quinn 

I mean, they have Heidi Klum in the end part like... 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah. Because she and Slannen have a thing. 

Quinn 

Yeah, they get together, which is there's a lot of questions I have, but it's fine. 

Jane 

Yeah, but I think that that's really, I mean, no offense to the writers, but I think there were like 5 writers on this movie, and like I don't know that they had a cohesive idea of what they were going to do with it. I think it was kind of like, OK, there's this really popular book and this really popular actress that we can write a thing for. 

Quinn 

And doing movies like this is very popular. 

Jane 

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, this is the time to do this sort of modernized but not fairy tale type thing. And we're just going to throw it together and hope for the best. And I think that it does work a lot better than it had any right to on paper, based on the dialogue and the script. And they talk about that a little bit in the commentary. They're like, very gracious about it, but there's certain moments where they're like, “Yeah, I never really liked this line,” or, like, “I never really felt like I said this right.” 

Quinn 

I think they're pretty upfront with saying the lines that they had issues with saying. 

Jane 

Yeah, but they're not, they're not gonna, say like, “Oh this whole script was trash.” 

Quinn 

Yeah, yeah. And I mean, in fairness, there's a couple funny, like “My tongue itches” is funny. 

Jane 

That is true. Yeah, there's some good lines in the actual script, but I think overall that's really the weak point. And just like the fact that they were able to get these amazing actors and some of them are like super famous, others I like, haven't really seen in anything else. 

Quinn 

Eric Idle is in the movie also. 

Jane 

Oh, I forgot about him! 

Quinn 

See, like you just keep thinking of people. There's a lot of performances. 

Jane 

And I think that they all just showed up and were like, “We're gonna have fun. We're gonna make this movie.” And it just really comes together in a very entertaining way. 

Quinn 

I do think also what helps is that the characters they're playing are all kind of archetypes. What talented actors are able to do, they're able to take these archetypal characters and sort of have an interpretation of them kind of ready to go. And so I'm, I'm also kind of thinking like, that's these are just good professional actors that like these are not like tough characters. They're just like they're ones that you can really like sink into and, like, get- they're, they're like, really meaty roles that like a good actor, will know what to do with. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that, that's a good way of putting it. So yeah, so it's just it's just fun entertainment, but again, it just becomes like so much more fun and entertaining when you have the commentary on and you just hear them chatting with each other about their memories of making this movie and the good and the bad and the ugly. 

Quinn 

And if you like podcasts, I imagine you'll like the commentary because it it really does, I think feel like you're just sitting around the table with friends or sitting on the couch watching the movie with, you know, the friends or like people that were making the movie. Like it's a a really good aura that the commentary has. I feel like and again and thinking about like what does the commentary have that other commentaries don't? Like I think a lot of other commentaries are very cold and very like stale almost and like they come in for these very like discrete parts and they'll say, I did want to mention when we were watching this that this blah blah blah. And then they'll stop and they'll go back to the movie. Like, this is just this continual conversation that goes throughout the movie pretty much. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think a lot of times, especially when the commentary just has the director, they can get very technical with like just saying, like explaining how each shot was set up. And just like, I mean some of that is very interesting, but I think it almost feels like you're like going to film school or something or like you're sitting in a lecture and I definitely tend to prefer the ones that have multiple people and especially like, I mean, I don't want to say like we only care about the actors, but I think actors know how to perform better than directors do a lot of the time, and so they know how to be entertaining. I would say Ella Enchanted is like far and away my favorite, but there's a few others, like I talked about the Mary Poppins one. And I think that one is really fun for different reasons, because they're looking back with like 40 years of distance. But it's the same sort of thing of like they're interacting with each other and reminiscing together. And I think that's a lot more interesting than just hearing one person sort of give you a lecture about how this movie came together. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah, and what the actors do, and I mean that's what they are when you're watching the movie, they are the audiences perspective, like into the world of the movie and, and so I think that you you feel like, you know, actors in a way that you don't feel like you know directors or people that are not on camera. And so, yeah, I think they're very practiced at bringing that perspective to an audience and sort of serving as that messenger or the gateway that an audience has to a story. And then I think to Tommy O’Haver’s credit. I think he's very charismatic. And so you feel like you know him or you like, get to know him through the course of the commentary. There's many directors whose commentary I've seen that I didn't really get a sense of who they were as people, but I feel like you get to know Tommy O’Haver and you like him. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think that he, like, definitely takes his work seriously, but I think he doesn't think too highly of himself. I think a lot of directors have really big egos, which I think to a certain extent you have to for that job because you have to be in charge and you have to like get people to listen to you and so you have to think relatively highly of yourself. Otherwise you're gonna be like, “Well or- or not or whatever.” And you can't do that when you're a director. But I think that with Tommy O'Haver, he's like, he wants people to have fun on his sets, I think. And he's like, very proud of his work on this movie, clearly. But he's also, like, very gracious to the stars that he's talking to and like, very quick to point out when they did a good job, which I think they're more hesitant to do, like they don't want to toot their own horns as much. And so he's like, very much like, saying, “Wow, you guys were really great to work with and you did such a good job too.” And like that, they were exactly what he wanted for this movie. And I think that really helps make the commentary just seem a lot more fun, too, is that he's not being like, “I made this movie and I was so great.” It was like, “Thank you guys for doing such a good job.” and all of that, so I really like that. 

Quinn 

Yeah, he's he seems like- I would, I would be an actor or, like, work on a movie that he was the director for. I feel like he would be a good person to work with. And yeah, I do, it's interesting that you note that they the actors do I feel like have a hard time like tooting their own horn and like one of the main things that I feel like Anne Hathaway is comfortable like talking about is like her physical appearance. And like, she'll be like, “Oh, my extensions look so good at that point.” And I do feel like that's something that, like you think about, like the Harvey Weinstein of it all and like just a lot of some of the really, like, dark things about Hollywood and like, how sad that is that like, that's what she felt like, you know, those were some of the ways that she could, like, step into her own and, like, talk positively about herself. And then you think about like all other things that were going on like in the industry at large. I also think it's really great to hear like, a man complementing like the female star of the movie, who was like indisputably the star of the movie. And again, another good example of like female led projects like they're this idea that they're not as successful. It’s like here is another like- that's something I love about this movie, that it is a female led movie, that it's like, yeah, Anne Hathaway is perfectly capable of carrying a movie on her own shoulders. 

Jane 

Yeah, and it's interesting too that like the director doesn't at any point that I recall in the commentary. Maybe, he says, like… Because I do think like Anne Hathaway does complement her own appearance, she all is also very critical of it. 

Quinn 

Well, and and that's also true too. I mean just I think that's sort of where I was going, too and tying in like some of the larger cultural things, she is very critical of her appearance at times too. 

Jane 

One of my favorite parts though, is when she's like watching herself perform and she's, like, cringing. And they're like, “What are you..? And she's like, “Oh, it’s just a tooth thing.” 

Quinn 

Well, they're in the middle of complementing the lighting in the scene, and they're just like, “Oh, this lighting is so beautiful” and it is really beautiful. It's like flickering flames that of course, were, like, done digitally, but it looks very real and they're complimenting it and then and and Hathaway just goes, “Eugh!” And then then she's just like, “Sorry, it was a tooth thing.” 

Jane 

Yeah, but I think that what I was gonna say is I don't remember at any point, I don't think he ever really talks about her appearance other than to say, like, “Oh you look fine” when she's criticizing herself. I think that he's way more focused on her work and her her performance and like how dedicated she was and like she was in basically every scene and that she had to work really hard and he really gives her a lot of credit for that. And I think that's, like you were saying, a big problem in Hollywood is that a lot of actresses like you focus more on their appearance and what they're wearing and all this stuff. And I think it’s really great to see a male director recognizing that his female star really put in a lot of work and did a lot of stuff besides, just like looking pretty in this movie. And that's yeah, it's really great to hear that, especially on a movie that was produced by Harvey Weinstein. 

Quinn 

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's very true. And I just, I think. We've already spoken a little bit about this, but like, Anne Hathaway is just such a treasure, I think, like, and it's been very interesting, and like I I mentioned her in the same sentence with like Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone earlier in this conversation. And like, just thinking about, like, what Anne Hathaway's trajectory has been, and then what those actresses’ trajectories have been where I think there there was, you know, generally good favor around Anne Hathaway for a long time. And then, like all of a sudden kind of around the time of her Oscar win, people kind of soured on her and felt that she really was sort of distasteful. And then just like having her image kind of come back around from there and now I think she has a very like, you know, people have a lot of, like, nostalgic affection for her being in all these beloved classics like Princess Diaries and Devil Wears Prada and Ella Enchanted. But then she's also, you know, an Oscar winner and like, taken very seriously, like, I think she's kind of reached that, like, you know, prime part of her career where she's been through all of these things. And we've seen actresses like Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence kind of on a delayed timeline, go through some of these same things like, I just think that Anne Hathaway, I really have a lot of respect and appreciation for all of the things that she's weathered. Being a young woman in Hollywood and having to kind of- that she was in these beloved projects. She's had periods of being very well loved, periods of being kind of hated and has sort of weathered the storms and has continued to to work and deliver really phenomenal performances, I just- I think she's such a gift and I'm glad that she's still out there kicking ass and making amazing movies. Like I love Ocean's 8, that's fairly recent, and I think that she still has some very exciting career moves left. I'm- I can't wait to see her as she continues. 

Jane 

Yeah, and I think it's really interesting because she was getting a lot of hate for a while, for like no really good reason. Like, I don't feel like anyone could point to like something horrible that she said or did. Like maybe she like said something that was maybe a little bit questionable, but like, I think now people are coming around to being more like, you know, she was never actually terrible. People were just mad at her for being a successful woman like, cause, I mean, some people like they said something super racist or something or like that was interpreted in a bad way. But I don't even know that anyone's been able to point to something like that. 

Quinn 

I think probably the thing that I heard or that that's been on in the news cycle was the Witches movie that she was in and sort of depicting people with limb differences as like witches and, there was some backlash to the way that the witches were portrayed and how that looked similarly to people with limb differences and sort of othered people with limb differences, or at least this was some criticism of that movie. And I thought that Anne Hathaway had a really, um… I was impressed with the apology that she offered and she made, I thought, a really powerful, well thought out statement that just said, “I didn't really do my homework fully here and this is upsetting because I upset people that I did not want to upset” and it owned the mistake, and just you know, said that she would be more careful moving forward and you know, like, I just think that's something that I appreciate someone that can stand up and apologize when they did something not fully thought out. 

Jane 

Yeah. Well, and I don't remember hearing anything about that, but like the Witches was based on a novel by Raold Dahl, whose prejudices are well known at this point. 

Quinn 

Yeah, so I I think it's… I don't think that Anne Hathaway should be held accountable for like production decisions that were probably outside of her control, but she still did take accountability. And I thought in a way that- I appreciated the thoughtfulness of the statement I ended up reading. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think that she's always been very good about responding to things which, like, maybe she just has a really good PR team. But like, she definitely always knows how to, like, stand up for herself when she needs to, but then also, you know, not just double down when she makes mistakes. And I think that's really great. I know she was like a really big advocate for legalizing gay marriage and things like that. Like, she's really been somewhat of an activist in terms of issues that she really cares about, which I think is great. She's just a really… seems like a really good role model to be a movie star. I mean, obviously she's not perfect. I don't think that anyone has a right to expect her to be perfect, but I did really appreciate that, like when Ocean's 8 came out and everybody was like, “Wow, Anne Hathaway is like, the best part of this movie that is a great movie and has a lot of great parts.” And then some people were like, “Yeah, she's the best part of every movie she's in. Why has it taken you this long to notice?” Like people kind of coming back around to being like, “Yeah, she's always been good. Why did we hate her?” 

Quinn 

Well, and I think it's fabulous because in that movie she plays an actress who you kind of think is going to be like, obnoxious and not really that great. And then she ends up being, like, essential to the con and… 

Jane 

Yes, I love that. And like I kind of wish that they had done something like that in Ella Enchanted with Parminder Nagra's character. 

Quinn 

Right. 

Jane 

Like, that's what they needed to do is like bring her back and have her be like, “Yeah, OK, you really hurt me. But now I'm gonna help you” kind of thing. Yeah. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah. And I mean, I guess I do feel like you tend to have things for actors and actresses that are older. You know, I think of a lot of your actor obsessions being, you know, people from a bygone era that were dead before you were born. I feel like Anne Hathaway has been an actress that sort of we've grown up with that we've sort of seen come of age - we remember a time before Anne Hathaway and saw her rise - that you've really enjoyed. And I think have looked at as like I would say, I think you're a particular fan of Anne Hathaway. And like I I think that that's that's interesting, and I'm curious if… you've probably already described many of the things that maybe have drawn you to her more so than like other actors of her generation. 

Jane 

Yeah, I would definitely… I mean, I'm sure there's bigger Anne Hathaway fans than me, I'm not like her number one fan or anything, but definitely she's one of the actors that I've been more of a fan of. And like, she's less than 10 years older than me, so she’s like pretty close to my generation and I think that a lot of it is that, like, she's an Old Hollywood fan, like she has a lot of those sensibilities of, like, the Old Hollywood actors. And I think that that is something that I've picked up on even without like that consciously being why I like her. But I do think that that has helped. That like she is definitely very modern, but in a way that takes things I liked about the older Hollywood style. Like I think she probably would say that she's more of a method actor and a lot of the actors I like are kind of before that became the norm. But like, I think she's still very much the like, get up there, say the lines and think about that rather than just being like, “I'm going to fully embody this character!” which is something that kind of irritates me about actors sometimes as being like, “I'm just becoming this person now.” It's like, I think she she's got that sort of line between herself and her characters that a lot of the like, more like modern stars… I mean, I'm, I know there's modern actors who are great, but I think the like movie star leading role people kind of rub me the wrong way sometimes. But like I think that she has similarities to like the old Hollywood stars that I'm a fan of, and sort of bridges that gap into the modern era, if that makes any sense? I truly don't know if I’m explaining this- 

Quinn 

I think that's all really interesting and I think makes a lot of sense. I think that's a cool observation and I'm just thinking tying it back to Ella Enchanted, I was thinking the last time I watched it specifically, I was like, what is different about Ella from Princess Mia? Like where… where are the lines there? And in truth, I think that there's a lot that's similar about Princess Mia and about Ella. And like I think that, yeah, that makes a lot of sense because I know that you really love like Cary Grant, for example, who I think Cary Grant has range and has performances that it's very transformative between roles, but he does have a brand and he has a style and like a lot of movies, it's like here's like a specific character, like this one's a scientist, this one's a teacher, this one's a, a that and we're just going to do the Cary Grant version of like that profession or like that. Like we're going to give him a few boundaries to work with that are like character defining traits, but then he's going to bring the Cary Grant brand to it. And they feel like that's almost what the transition from Princess Mia to Ella Enchanted is, is it's like, we're going to change the the formation of these characters in a little bit of different ways, and like I I notice like the Princess Mia, Lily friendship is kind of flipped in Ella Enchanted, and like Arieda is much more like Mia, and Ella is much more like Lily in that dynamic and like that, the fact that they're activists and like going to, like protests and stuff, I feel like kind of mirrors each other. But it's very much Anne Hathaway bringing the Anne Hathaway brand to each of those characters, and like they're both very Anne Hathaway. Like, you get her as a star, you get the brand of her, you get the identity of her while she's in kind of just these different formations of like, that protagonist character that leads the movie one way or the other. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think it's like there's certain movie stars who, just like, always play the same character. And it's like, OK, that's that actor, that's that actor, that's that actor, and it gets a little bit redundant. And then there's other actors who are like very much blend into their roles, which if it's done well, I think that that's really good and I really appreciate that. Like, I like Meryl Streep, and like those kind of like… really good. But I think there's some actors who are like, “I'm just going to be completely different in this movie!” and it just, like, doesn't quite… gel with me, I guess? I don't know. But like, I think my favorite kind of actors tend to be the ones where, like you can always tell it's them, but they're doing different things and like they're very versatile within their wheelhouse, like it's not they're doing the same thing every time, but at the same time they they bring themselves to it. And I think that that that Anne Hathaway is very much like that. Because obviously like playing Fantine in Les Mis is very different from playing Ella in Ella Enchanted like they're completely different characters. And I'm not saying like, “Ohh yeah, but it was just Anne Hathaway doing that.” Like, she's a good actress. But I guess I just, I feel like I get her persona a little bit more and like I… I don't want to say it like I'm trying to like insult any actors, but I just think that I tend to resonate with the ones that are more in the style of the Old Hollywood people who were like themselves, like you were saying bringing Cary Grant brand to different characters and I think Anne Hathaway has a very strong star personality and I think that that really comes out in the Ella Enchanted commentary and I think that it's very telling that that was like so early in her career because it was only a few years after Princess Diaries. But she was already like, “This is me. This is who I am. I'm a fully formed person and I'm not going to let Hollywood mess me up too much,” I think, because I think a lot of people fame can really go to their head. And I think that, I mean, there's no way for it not to a little bit, but I feel like… at least the way she comes across, I'm not claiming to know her, but I feel like Anne Hathaway has- seems to have kept her integrity throughout the fame. And I really respect that and it's been really fun to see that like through the ups and downs of her career so far, and I'm sure there's much more to come from her, she's not that old, so I'm sure she'll be- 

Quinn 

Right. No, we're it's not… this is not a memorial of Anne Hathaway. But yeah, I think that makes sense. It's interesting to hear what's really attractive about her from your perspective. Because I I, I think that does make a lot of sense, and I really do kind of see her as someone in that that just kind of feels right, you know, in thinking about Anne Hathaway as someone who's sort of… is in the older school of, you know, being that type of star, and I really do think that that's some of her best strengths as an actor and that she's she's immediately someone familiar. Like she, we've grown up with her on screen in various roles and like I think that that is something that a lot of those older actors really bring to like a sense of familiarity, and that allows you to really get into the story because they have such potent brands and their brands are not necessarily like “I'm a completely different person in everything I'm in.” Like I'm almost like Meryl Streep is an actress who people talk about as being very transformative. I almost think like Nicole Kidman is kind of that actress. I'm just like, “Satine is the same person as Virginia Woolf?!” Like she's someone to me that I'm like, Nicole Kidman could be anybody, like… 

Jane 

Yeah, or like Daniel Day-Lewis. 

Quinn 

Yeah. Yeah, like additional people. 

Jane 

And like, no offense to them like, I think they're amazingly talented and I- 

Quinn 

I think what you're describing is like actors that maybe don't have the ability to be that transformed or just like are overcommitted to the process, to the point where it's just like an excuse to be mean to people. Like Jared Leno. 

Jane 

Oh yeah, everybody who's played the Joker has been like, “I'm going to use this to be mean to people.” So yeah, there are definitely actors who do that really well and like, all power to them, tons of respect. But I think that there's some actors that just try to do stuff throughout their career that I'm just sort of like, that's fine, but I don't really like love that as much. And I think that in the Princess Diaries 2 commentary Anne Hathaway talks quite a bit about old movies that she likes. And I think that that is sort of what has given me the impression of, like, oh, that's why I like her. Because she also is taking from these old movies. And I think that a lot of the more modern actors who I like have something in common with the Old Hollywood style of acting. 

Quinn 

Is this the first Anne Hathaway movie on the podcast? 

Jane 

I think so.

Quinn

Oh!

Jane

I think it's only this and Princess Diaries. 

Quinn 

OK. That makes sense that I haven't really heard your thoughts about Anne Hathaway on the podcast yet. Another comment that I wanted to make about Anne Hathaway's performance style: I actually see a lot of similarities to Ginger Rogers and like how you were describing Ginger Rogers was like, at least perceived by Katharine Hepburn at like the time of Stage Door. I can see some similarities in like how they came across, and I think Anne Hathaway is less known for her dancing, but just the, you know, the really like competent professional model that can deliver really versatile performances and kind of has a few like tricks. And it's not just the acting, it's also the singing, or also the dancing or both. I I see, I see there being something sort of similar between the two of them. 

Jane 

Yeah. And just like that, people wanted to work with them. Because I think that was part of Katherine Hepburn's issues earlier in her career is that she was very difficult to work with, which like I understand like- 

Quinn 

 [laughing] I can't imagine Katharine Hepburn being difficult. 

Jane 

I know, right? 

Quinn 

That's why she's the perfect Susan Vance! 

Jane 

She was like like, I mean, obviously I feel like even now women are not treated very well in Hollywood. And back then, it was very bad in a lot of ways. And so, like, I can't really fault her for like, standing up for herself, and that got you labeled as difficult, so I think some of it was that, but I think also just like I think Ginger Rogers would have been willing to be friends with her, and she was very much like, “No. We are not friends.” Based on Anne Hathaway’s commentary, like, it seems like she’s very gracious towards everybody she was working with and like, I mean, maybe there's people out there who've worked with Anne Hathaway who were like, “Oh, no, she was horrible.” But I don't think I've heard any stories about her actually being hard to work with, whereas like some stars like I just off the top of my head, Christian Bale comes to mind of like crew members being like, “He just always yells at us” and stuff like that, and I think that like easy to work with for actresses can be code for just like very compliant and never standing up for themselves. And I don't think that that's what Anne Hathaway is like. But I do think that, yeah, she's more of a Ginger Rogers than a Katharine Hepburn in terms of like people want to work with her. So yeah, I think that's a good, that's a good analogy to draw. We’ve talked a lot about Anne Hathaway, but I think she deserves it. 

Quinn 

Yeah, well, I'm… knowing that this is her debut on your countdown, I I feel like she's somebody that I think of as a modern interest of yours. Someone who's still alive that you like and follow to some extent. 

Jane 

Yeah, well, there's- when I keep track of the movies I watch, there are certain actors who I update every year when I update my spreadsheet of like how many movies I've seen of theirs and how many times, and like list out like which movies I've seen which number of times for each of them, and most of the actors I track are from Old Hollywood. There's a few more modern ones. Yeah, Anne Hathaway is definitely one of those. And I think that also like being introduced to her along with Julie Andrews, like I wasn't a huge Julie Andrews fan before Princess Diaries. And so I think that like that movie, which I will talk about later, but that really made me really like both of them. And so I kind of think of like, me being a fan of Anne, starting at the same time as Julie Andrews. And so they kind of, like, go together in my mind. And I think having this other movie that's kind of similar to Princess Diaries in that she's playing sort of a princessy type character, but different soon after that really helped fuel my interest in like, keep my interest in Anne Hathaway after Princess Diaries. 

Quinn 

Yeah, it's honestly beautiful in many ways to think about that pairing for Princess Diaries cause I think I'm sure you're not alone in some way in that story of being introduced to both of them at the same time, or reintroduced, I think a lot of people probably know the Sound of Music and Mary Poppins at least. But yeah, I mean, I think that it's very cool that like, what a great, you know, way to burst onto the Hollywood scene than with the Julie Andrews movie and yeah, I think it's cool to think of how a lot of people must have become fans of both of them at the same time and must kind of attach these two very talented women who have both dominated the entertainment industry for quite some time. I think it's, yeah, it's, it's cool to think about that that's where Anne Hathaway started in a lot of homes. 

Jane 

Yeah, you know, and Julie Andrews continues to have a career, but also is more known for being sort of at the end of the classic Hollywood era, and that she similarly burst onto the scene with a big role that made her an instant star because- 

Quinn 

And that was sort of a kids’ movie too. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was a Disney movie. And so like to start as the star of a Disney movie and then just kind of go from there. And Julie Andrews has also had many ups and downs in her career with people loving her and then not liking her that much and like that has happened to her as well, which I think it happens to anybody if you're around long enough. But yeah. So I think that having that connection to Old Hollywood directly also seems more of my jam. And it was fun for me to see somebody closer to my age also talking about liking old movies and things like that. I'm like, OK, cool. I'm not alone in being interested in Old Hollywood, as a younger person who's still alive. And I'm sure that there's a lot of other actors who feel similarly also, like I think you kind of have to if you know your craft, you're going to have seen older movies. But yeah, I think she's been open about like, “Yeah, I I like Audrey Hepburn” and things like that, so… 

Quinn 

I was going to say she does give me a very Audrey Hepburn type vibe, but like almost like spunkier than Audrey Hepburn but Audrey Hepburn was pretty spunky too, so I wouldn't. I wouldn't take that away from her.

Jane

Yeah.

Quinn

To completely change the subject: amatonormativity. This movie is a love story. How do you feel about that? 

[both laugh]

Jane 

Yeah, it is definitely a love story. I do think that it's interesting that like, Ella does not at any point set out to find love. She does fall in love with Char definitely, but that's not her objective. Like it's an important part of this story, but ultimately like, that's not what the story's about. Like, I think it's much more about her curse and trying to break away from her having to be obedient. 

Quinn 

And really, her learning to use love as a tool to be the, you know, the most, like, actualized curse-liberated version of herself. I think that that's like important, too. Like she she realizes that love is something that she wants in her life, like a romantic love is something that she she wants and that that is sort of how she learns to use love as a way to break the curve. 

Jane 

Yeah and I feel like it's never really been an option for her up until that point, because I think that one of two things would happen. Either she would marry someone who would then, like, completely take advantage of her curse and just- 

Quinn 

Yes, that would be very scary for her. 

Jane 

Or she would end up really hurting her partner by having to do stuff because someone else told her to, and that kind of almost happens the second one. Because Char is very kind and understanding and like even there's certain moments in the movie when he like says something and she starts to do it and he's like “That wasn't an order. Like, I'm not trying to make you do stuff you don't want to do.” 

Quinn 

He's very taken aback by her in all ways because he's used to women throwing themselves at him and so he's very taken aback that Ella doesn't do that at the beginning. And then he's taken aback when she's like overly compliant on things that he meant as more like suggestions and just like interpersonal interactions. 

Jane 

Yeah. 

Quinn 

There's a lot of commands and casual conversation we learn through Ella Enchanted. 

Jane 

And I think they do a really good job with that and there's this great moment when he says, “You have to stay,” and she's like, “OK, I'll stay.” And he's like, “Well, no, you don't HAVE to stay.” And she's like, “OK” and she, like starts to leave. He's like, “But I would like you to stay.” And then she does. And I think that she really appreciates that he wants to give her her own agency when she's never been able to have that. But then of course, Edgar manipulates it and tries to get her to kill Char, and I think that that is part of why she was like, “it's not good that I'm in love with him” cause she knew something that could happen. I don't think she anticipated it happening quite like that or quite that soon. So I think it's very strong of her to allow herself to fall in love with Char and then to be able to overcome the curse, fully break it, rather than killing him, and… side note: another of my favorite parts of the commentary is when she says “I do love you, Char,” and then she raises the knife cause she's like being forced to. And in the commentary, the director goes, “I'm just not in love with you.” It's like, that's what you do. You kill them when you say that!

Quinn

It's iconic.

Jane It's great. But anyway, she is in love with him and so I think that again a lot of what I'm learning through this project is a lot of my favorite love stories are the ones where like falling in love is not the path that they were supposed to go on. Like with Sound of Music like she wants to be a nun. She's not supposed to fall in love with anyone. And then she does. And I think that often with amatonormativity the path is like you are going to fall in love and get married and have kids. And for Ella that's not her path at all initially. And so I think I really enjoy stories where people are forging their own path and not doing what society or other people around them tell them to do. Which is especially poignant in this movie because she literally has to do what everybody tells her to do for most of the story. And so I think that like, because there are all these things about like why, not only should she not end up with Char, she shouldn't end up with anybody. And so I think seeing like, but she wants to and she makes that happen for herself is more powerful than a lot of the like, typical romantic stories where it's like, maybe these two people are pulled apart by various forces, but like, they're going to find someone and marry someone. That's less interesting to me than stories like this. 

Quinn 

That's interesting. 

Jane 

But again, it's like there is the romantic element of it, but there's so much more going on and it's so much more about Ella finding herself and finding her own voice when she's being constantly talked over and drowned out. And I think that that's…that's what I like about this story. And like the love story is incidental. But I do think that it's good that Char is so much kinder to her than most of the other people she encounters besides Slannen I guess. 

Quinn 

Other than the romantic relationship, what are your favorite relationships in Ella Enchanted? 

Jane 

Ooh, that's a good question… ha, Edgar and his snake? 

Quinn 

You know that's a good one. I honestly think I might like the Ella and Mandy relationship.

Jane

Oh, yeah.

Quinn

I know it's not emphasized much, but you can just tell that they have a good rapport. I I guess I like Minnie Driver and Anne Hathaway in scenes together, they seem to really have a good chemistry, but yeah, I I like, I like that bond. I think that the step sister bond is funny and interesting. One of my least favorite relationships is the relationship between the father and Ella? Like he is so weird, like because he does- you get the sense he cares about her, and is like mildly intelligent. He's just, like, distant, like, absent, like always on on the road. So he can't be involved in the home situation, but like he's kind of a little weird. 

Jane 

Yeah, he- Well, he's very underdeveloped. And I also think it's very interesting how like, it takes him a really long time to notice that she's gone and you just see, like, this one random scene where he's, like, talking to the stepmother and “Where's Ella?” And she's just like, “Oh, she's off with Hattie and Olive, it's fine.” And it's like she's been gone for many days at this point. Like, did you just notice that she left? 

Quinn 

[stepmother impression] “She’s taking a tour of the castle.” 

Jane 

[continues stepmother impression] “With Hattie and Olive.” I mean, Joanna Lumley just is very, very funny. 

Quinn 

It's honestly the main performance of hers that I think of. I feel like this is very embarrassing. I know she's in lots of other things, but I mainly think of Joanna Lumley as an Ella Enchanted actress. 

Jane 

I mean, I feel like most of the people in this movie, there's like two different levels of people. It's like either, “Oh yeah, from Ella Enchanted!” or like, “They were in Ella Enchanted?!” 

Quinn 

Yeah, there are two choices. 

Jane 

Yeah, except for like Anne Hathaway, obviously it’s like, I know she's in Ella Enchanted, but I don't automatically think of Ella Enchanted. But like Hugh Dancy…

Quinn

He’s Prince Char!

Jane

He's just so ingrained in Ella Enchanted for me and I think that like, obviously, Anne Hathaway is the main star of this movie, but Hugh Dancy does a great job and I think he does a good job also of like stepping back and letting her be the lead of the movie. 

Quinn 

Yeah, he's really fantastic and I like the character of Char and it's all a yes for me on the Prince Char front. And I think like their relationship feels very earned throughout the movie. And I agree, you know, I think that it's like, ugh does every movie have to have a romance? Like there is a a quality of like, this probably didn't need to be there, but it is, but I think it's an earned relationship. I think you can see how they're both willing to be supportive of each other. I think you can see how they're helping each other grow. I think that Ella really does challenge Char’s complacency in his privilege. And I think that, I don't know what does Char really do for Ella? Um... 

Jane 

He saves her! 

Quinn 

Oh yes, he does save her from the ogres. I think that she does view the world in a really adversarial terms because she has to, to, like, protect herself, and I think that he kind of helps her bring down her walls a little bit. I think you see that throughout the course of the movie. So, yeah, I think they're both, like, really enriching each other's lives in a way that is nice, and they have good chemistry. I feel like I would watch the Hugh Dancy/Anne Hathaway rom com in the future, like I would see them paired up in another movie. 

Jane 

Yeah, I think that that one objection that I tend to have for a lot of especially rom coms, but romantic movies in general is that a lot of times I feel like the relationship between the leads is actually kind of toxic if you think about it and, like…

Quinn 

Yes, it's true. 

Jane 

…one of them is stalking the other, like something really creepy is happening that you're supposed to think is cute, and I don't feel like we get that with the Ella Enchanted one. I feel like they have a really good organic falling in love. And also like with a lot of Cinderella adaptations, I feel like the Prince is usually very underdeveloped as a character. 

Quinn 

And it's we talked about this when we watched all the Disney movies. Like it's probably one of the biggest flaws in the Disney Cinderella, which is sort of a standard classic interpretation of Cinderella. I think there's other versions of Cinderella that improve on it a little bit, but there's frankly many that follow in the same footsteps of having kind of an anonymous prince. 

Jane 

Yeah. And like on the one hand, that's fine, cause it's Cinderella's story. But on the other hand, I'm like, this is very much Ella’s story, but I feel like we understand who Char is and he's very well developed and their relationship is very well developed. Like we have many scenes together. At first, like she really doesn't like him. It's a trope that happens in many romantic films of like initially one of them is like, “Ugh, I hate you,” and then they get together eventually. But I think it's very gradual and just feels very organic and it makes sense. And so yeah, I I am in favor of their romance. Like I- 

Quinn 

Well, and he's also, not looking at Ella as a conquest, even though it's very clearly established when they meet that like she's not into him and he is sort of like allured by that because he's very used to like running from a screaming horde of fans. And so, like, you can tell that he's both like this is of interest to him that Ella has resistance to him because it's unusual, but it's not like- There's a very easy way to make that character very toxic then, and to say, like, oh, I'm going to conquest this, and I don't think that that's how he feels about her. And it's really they don't cross paths again until he's saving her life from the ogre. So there's like a very good, like, high stakes reason for him to intervene in her life at that time. Like, there's not, like, a creepy, like, I'm gonna get that girl who resisted me. 

Jane 

Well, and he doesn't know the full story of what she's doing because she's not allowed to tell anyone about the curse. But like he's willing to help her find her fairy godmother, like, basically no questions asked. And you don't ever get the impression that he's, like, doing it to like, because there's, you know, the whole friend zone of, like, “I was nice to her, and now she's not sleeping with me.” Like you don't get the impression that he's helping her to get in her pants or anything. Like he really wants to help her. 

Quinn 

Yeah, there's not really any like subversive stuff that you feel like subversive motivation that he has that you sense he has ever. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, I think they do a really good job of that of like, I think he would be OK with being her friend and advocate. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah, and you get the sense that he wants a peer to, like, talk to because he can't talk to any other young women because they're too busy, like screaming about him.

Jane

Yeah.

Quinn

Like, I don't… I can't imagine he's having, like, really deep conversations with a lot of the other people that are in the fan club that are just like, “Char’s naked in the shower?!” and like, just like screaming. Like literally screaming and like chasing him down. Like I think if there's anything that Ella Enchanted is a cutting analysis on stan culture because they really put the stans out there and say “You're blowing your shot by acting this way. It's not cute!” 

Jane 

Yeah, and I I think he also he's like tired of being overly sexualized. And so the fact that she sees him as a person is really like not just to turn on for him. Like obviously that's part of it. And like he falls in love with her partly because she is not screaming at him. But I think, like, just they're able to get to know each other, person to person, and that's really what you feel like their falling in love is is like now that I know you as a person, I really have this deep connection with you, and I think they have some great scenes together that really show that. So again, I like that the romance isn't the main part, but I also really like the way they do the romance in this movie. So I think it gets a pass from me of being like this is a good romance movie. 

Quinn 

The Jane Ace star. 

Jane 

Yes, exactly! You could be aroace and still appreciate the relationship that they have. 

Quinn 

The aroace sealed romance. 

Jane 

There you go. And, yeah, I do think that there's other good relationships. I really wish that the Ella/Areida relationship was better developed because I would really like to have that strong female friendship because again there’s… it is a female driven story, but the secondary characters that are more developed tend to be male characters like Slannen and the ogre Nish…

Quinn

Edgar.

Jane

Edgar, yeah. Whereas like you have, like, the stepmother and the step sisters who are great. And then... 

Quinn 

And and Minnie driver, you have Mandy. 

Jane 

Mandy, yeah, but I would love to see more from them. 

Quinn 

And Lucinda. 

Jane 

Yeah, but Lucinda is, I think every moment she has great. 

Quinn 

And there could be more diversity in the cast, too. That's also a critique. 

Jane 

Yeah, always. But at least they're not all white. 

Quinn 

It's true there is some diversity. 

Jane 

Minimal diversity, but yeah, yeah, absolutely. More diversity, would love to see a… like because everybody kind of, not everybody, but some of the other characters get paired up because you have that random like Slannen and Heidi Klum thing. It was like he could have found a man to be with. Like we could have some, queer pairings here. I mean it’s fine. I think that like I do enjoy this movie on its own. I don't feel like it would have made it into the Top 40 without the commentary. 

Quinn 

Well, yeah. And I think I think it's probably like a less polished version of, like, Mamma Mia in the sense of like, I imagine, like, you would watch this movie for similar reasons that you would watch something like Mamma, Mia and maybe Mamma Mia is just like a little bit sharper of a movie. Although it is also, I think in the same like it's kind of stupid at times and like embraces being stupid and yeah, it's like it's a random musical for no real reason. It's fun and so I feel like that's why it's also easy to watch the commentary because that just like makes it more fun. 

Jane 

Right, yeah. 

Quinn 

And so, you know, I think I agree, I don't know that this is like the best movie on its own. But I think the combination of it being a lot of fun, having fun commentary, sort of striking some of the same balance of like Mamma Mia and other movies that have ended up high in your countdown. That could be what it is. It's just it's just the right cocktail of all of those things. 

Jane 

Yeah. Well, I think it's very chaotic and eclectic, but ultimately, like everybody was making the same movie. And I think that really helps that like, yes, there's all these different pieces and all these different things going on. Which I guess is kind of what makes it feel a bit more old movie-ish that there's like this very convoluted plot of several different characters doing things. But yeah, everybody, I feel like everybody was on the same page. Everybody knew what movie they were making. They knew it was kind of silly and not really that amazing. And they were all just OK with that. And I think that really makes it work a lot better than it would have if people were like, yeah, this is whatever a trashy movie, we're just gonna get paid. And I feel like everybody was just like, we're gonna show up, we're gonna have a good time. And yeah, I think that that really comes across to the audience and that's what makes it an enjoyable movie, despite not being a great movie. 

Quinn 

Yeah. Sounds like the right recipe to end up on your countdown. 

Jane 

Yes, exactly. So thank you so much for being here with me and talking for a very long time about this movie that we both love. 

Quinn 

Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun. I love discussing anything related to Ella Enchanted. 

Jane 

Yes, and I'm so glad that you were here to discuss it with me.

Thank you to Quinn for all of your insights and questions, and thank you listeners for sticking through my longest episode yet. I hope it was still fun and interesting for you – it certainly was for me. Now that we’re in the top half of the list, I feel like I’m going to have more to say about each movie, so they will probably start trending a bit longer, although I’m sure my solo episodes will still be much shorter than this. But before we get back to just me talking I have one more special guest episode lined up, so stay tuned for another long one next week, about a very different type of film. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “She may be risking her life, but when it comes to being a lady, she doesn’t hold a candle to your wife, sir, sitting in Washington, playing bridge with three other ladies of great honor and virtue.”

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Guess who's becoming obsessed with lego bricks. Yes, it's me, you are correct. Now here are some Lego Movie tickle headcanons because I've personally found none. (This is mostly Emmet and Rex with some Lucy sprinkled in there.)

Of course, in the beginning with Emmet. I firmly believe Emmet is very happy and open about tickling because it's a great way to bond with his friends!

(He's never really had any, none that are this close to him.)

I think affection is difficult for him. Not so much because he's afraid of what others think, but because he doesn't know how to engage it. That's why tickling is more natural!

What comes after is especially great, because he'll gladly take some cuddles after everything he's been through. Stopping and reforming President Business? Dealing with a time-traveling hard-shell future version of himself combined with miscommunication from an entire planet? Being so giggly that he can't open his eyes anymore? He'll take a nap with extra pillows.

What's not to love about being a giggly mess? Emmet loves laughter, it's a telltale sign that everyone is having a good time!

I strongly believe that, when Emmet is being tickled, he'll compliment his tickler.

"Thahat spot reheally ticklehes!!" He will point out the obvious, he can't help it!

He's not a very hysterical laugher, he gets very loud but he's still coherent through it all. Even if he's got little mirth tears and a dazed look, he's as happy as can be.

"That was so much fun!" He will ask to be tickled again if it stops too soon.

Though, he's all about giving too! He enjoys tickles and wants his friends to be happy too.

As a ler, he's so sweet. He will use compliments more often than not, and he's known for gentle tickles - which can be equally as ticklish as fast ones, and very flustering for whoever his victim is.

He will point out everything, even if he doesn't mean to be teasy.

"Hey, don't cover your face!"

"Awww, I think I see a smile!!"

He's also ticklish just about anywhere, but I'd vote anywhere on his torso is especially sensitive. Specifically his sides!

Now... while Emmet is carefree, Rex is more on the defensive side.

(Also, in a universe where Rex gets redeemed and is very much alive as well as staying in Emmet's timeline.)

Rex will deny being ticklish. He claims its childish and he gave that up a long time ago.

Emmet doesn't believe him, and gives him pokes more often than not.

The sibling energy between Rex and Emmet is off the charts with tickles.

Emmet unlocks a more teasy, sneaky side of himself whenever he tickles Rex.

Rex is a fighter, he will not feel bad if he kicks somebody while trying to escape.

Ironically, Rex is more ticklish on his lower half rather than his torso. But I believe his neck, and ears if we go a more human route, is very susceptible to tickles.

Rex is touch-starved. He was touch-starved already when he was known as Emmet, but being isolated for who knows how long really messed with him.

Emmet, knowing a little too well what it's like to be alienated, helps whenever he can. Such as leaning against Rex, poking him, side hugs - and sometimes gently socking him in the shoulder.

Rex has no problem pulling people into a headlock, ruffling their hair. He'll lean against people but more in a, you-are-my-new-personal-head-rest way. He started punching Emmet in the shoulder first, and like the bad influence he is, Emmet started doing it back probably even more affectionately.

Rex gets very strong tendencies to destroy things. It's as easy as breathing, far more natural than building. That's where stimming comes in, he already stimmed before the whole time-traveling thing. It turns out, tickling someone is a great way to stim...

Emmet is the easiest target, a willing target if anything. Which Rex once upon a time did understand, but refuses to acknowledge.

Rex appreciates doing the tickling rather than being on the receiving end. It's hard to get him laughing anyways.

But when he laughs, boy, does he laugh.

It's loud and chaotic and hearty. He actually has a ha-ha-ha laugh. It's as deep as his voice.

He does have a giggle spot but he will guard it will his life. It makes him sound like Emmet too which is even more bewildering.

When he's being tickled, he can block it out. Sorta. But keep it up, keep him guessing, he'll break in no time. He tries to hold it in, and it's wonderful to watch red blush bloom across his face and his whole cheeks puff up. And then woosh, the laughter pops out and he can't stop.

He cannot admit to enjoying it. He cannot and will not.

Emmet apparently has made it a mission to get Rex to admit it. Because Emmet knows Rex used to love it just as he does, so he knows what buttons to push. He can guess what compliments get him more than others.

Rex's revenge is a million times worse. He will seriously wreck anyone who dares to even try to tickle him.

He won't stop until the victim begs for mercy, and even then he only stops when he truly believes they're sorry.

"Oh? What's that? I can't hear you over all that laughter!"

"You really do snort a lot."

"Oh, this spot must really tickle."

He's got these grins that make you wanna giggle on the spot.

Speaking of killer, Wyldstyle - or who I'll refer to as Lucy - will utterly annihilate you.

Rex will not go anywhere near her. For this reason, and because he's awkward around her. It's Lucy, after all.

Lucy usually treats Emmet nicely, because how could she not melt under his smile?

With Rex, she wants the guy to loosen up. She doesn't like to compare the two, but if Emmet loves this as much as he does and Rex used to be him then... she puts the two together.

But she doesn't push it, she's aware of how her presence makes him feel and she doesn't quite know where to start.

Emmet is a great catalyst and luckily pulls the two closer together.

When the first poke lands, a battle has begun. A very playful one.

Rex and Lucy spend more time poking each other than full on wrecking, but they've had their moments.

Such as when Lucy positively fell flat on her ass trying to build something. Rex laughed, because it was hilarious. Lucy was very quick to keep him laughing if he thought it was so hilarious.

Or when Rex leaned against a bike Emmet made, and it collapsed as soon as he touched it. He hadn't meant to destroy it but there he was in a heap of parts. Lucy was not sympathetic, proven by her snickers. Rex glared, and pounced. That'll teach her from laughing at Rex!

Lucy still struggles to be herself. She's had to be rough and tough for so long. She's seen growing up as mostly a negative thing, and she admires Emmet so much for his constant openness...

...And Emmet pokes, because yes he does poke Lucy too.

Lucy is ticklish and is embarrassed by it. She used to be all about bonding but it's very hard to trust people.

Emmet hates to see her frowning, and always tries to lighten the mood.

Even if that means sneaking in a few scribbles when it's least expected.

Emmet always pretends to be innocent, and accidentally has started a few tickle fights between Lucy and Rex because they think one of them did it.

When they find out it's Emmet, they absolutely double-team him in a temporary truce.

Emmet is proud of both of them and losing it a wee bit from their conjoined efforts.

Lucy begins to enjoy tickling, but she doesn't openly broadcast that either.

She pretends to know what she's doing, but she is rusty.

Laughing out loud without control is very flustering, and she certainty has a sweet laugh.

I have many more thoughts about them but here are some things for now!