#yes that’s a joke about spicy foods

[tachvintlogic]

Humans are a bad influence

Human: It really is an amazing coincidence...

Ztsaxhi: Hey guys, the food replicator glitched out and gave me way more food than it should. Want some? It's kind of like human "chips."

Käfavayarlop: Is it safe for my species?

Ztsaxhi: Let me check... no poisons but...oh damn, the food guide says it has capsaicin that's painful for you. Sorry.

Human: Ooh, Let me have some then!

Ztsaxhi: Go ahead.

Käfavayarlop: But wait, weren't we just saying that Käfavayarlopen and humans have weirdly similar taste buds—

Human *bites into chip*: Wow! Hggh, that is— REALLY spicy! You were not kidding about capsaicin.

Ztsaxhi: Are you okay?

Human: Fine! It's actually good, I swear. *eats the rest of the chip*

Käfavayarlop: Your face is turning red.

Human: Yeah, capsaicin does cause pain, that's the spiciness, but it's a good kind of pain. It adds to the flavor. *takes another chip*

Ztsaxhi: So "spiciness" is just pain?

Human: Kind of. It's—It's an acquired taste.

Käfavayarlop: ...I want to try.

Ztsaxhi: No!

Human: Let them! Though I will warn you this is not beginner friendly.

Käfavayarlop: *bites* Sacred Gonork! My mouth is on fire!

Human: You good?

Käfavayarlop: No. *takes another bite*

Ztsaxhi: No, don't keep eating it!

Käfavayarlop: But it's good.

Human: Is bovine milk safe for them? We probably need it.

Ztsaxhi: I'll check, yes it is. Wait, is this what all those jokes about humans pairing Ztsaxhi cuisine with milk are about?

Human: Yeah, it helps with the pain.

Ztsaxhi: Why would you even eat food that hurts you?

Human and Käfavayarlop: It's an acquired taste.

[obeymeluv]

Being Clever with the Fae (Malleus x Reader, Lilia x Reader, Sebek x Reader)

Pre-established relationship implied. You tell the Diasomnia boys that your world planned for ways to outsmart faes. You pull your trick but you're not sure who won.

Warning: Pepaw Bat's gets a little spicy so be careful.

I'm taking liberties with Sebek's part because he's a neutral for me and I don't know that much about him.

You and Malleus had talked about fae folklore more than once. He was delighted to know fae had something of a presence in your world but was wildly horrified at the misinformation. Out of everything you told him, only a handful were correct:

Don't give your name unless you trust that fae because names have power

Iron will hurt some fae but not all. Iron is more harmful to nocturnal fae than day fae.

Being rude to fae may be the end of you altogether

Partaking in fae food means you open yourself up for a wager

Yes, fae like to play tricks. Expect them and be wary.

Stepping into a fairy circle will summon the fairy who made it.

Just about everything else was wrong. That's why he and Lilia were teaching you what not to do if you came upon the various fae in Twisted Wonderland. Thus far you'd only managed to memorize what herbs kept smaller creatures at bay and how to curry the favor of the various faeries that helped out at NRC. Your current assignment from Lilia was filling out a map of different fae territories and classifying them as 'safe' for humans or 'unsafe'. Each territory had a tree they would love to craft from or loathed to be near and you were expected to know that, too.

Strange stuff but apparently it was important.

They liked to break up the bigger chunks of information with smaller, digestible things like etiquette so it felt more manageable. Malleus was currently instructing you on how to part from a fae in a formal setting as to not incur their wrath.

"Again, Child of Man," he's bowed down until eye level with you, one hand holding yours.

"Light shake, eye contact, nod, slide foot back, squeeze the hand, turn." he's parroting your motions until you turn away. He, instead, draws himself to his full height and observes as you pretend to walk away.

"Excellent," he nods. "But ensure you don't slouch while leaving. It will make some feel as if you don't hold them in high regard."

"That's so--" you roll your eyes. He simply lifts his brow as if to question your mild frustration. You puff your cheeks out and he laughs.

"We can be a bit particular." he agrees.

"To a fault." you smirk.

"Oh?" he's intrigued, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah," you smile. "In my world the fae were known for being literal with their word so you always had to keep something clever in reserve."

"Do tell," Malleus' grin goes from practiced and polite to genuine. A hint of fang shows.

"It's kind of specific though. Depends on that old joke about fae wanting to come for the first born."

"That's not really a joke," Malleus crossed his arms. You can't tell if he's offended or not. "We like the younglings. We're always looking to bring more around to the fae ways. In fact, fae make fantastic guardians because--"

He had a lot to say and you felt the beginnings of a lecture creep up. In some way you felt like you were in trouble. To save yourself, you said, "Just pretend. Then I can show you what we do."

Malleus pretended to make a deal with you. It looked a bit intimidating and official with the magic pulsing in the rickety floorboards of Ramshackle. They were groaning. Shadows danced along his face as pieces of his signature thorned briar wove around your joined hands. "In exchange for the repairs around Ramshackle, you will give your firstborn to me."

You pull him in, his green eyes searching curiously for any hint of what's to come. "Sure! How soon do you want to start working on that? Or do you want to wait a little while?"

All at once the floorboards fell quite. The hum of magic died with a rattle that broke the briar into tiny pieces. A few fell at your feet, the others shooting off into various directions.

Oh. Did he not understand? You thought it was clever! Maybe he was too sheltered to--

His laugh is kind of a snort at first but then you hear it honest and lilting. The hand holding yours slides up your arm and snakes around your waist. You're lifted until your hands find purchase on his shoulders and your legs wrap around whatever they reach. Your heart goes from your chest to your throat when his gloved hands slide down to your thighs as he walks you to your sad couch.

"Now is fine," he's careful to hold his weight above you, silky hair spilling around you and tickling your cheeks. His eyes are bright and boyish, a deadly compliment to his kissable lips.

Well, that technically backfired but if this were a real situation you'd make out just fine because he'd chosen to make out with you instead of curse you.

------ ----- ----- ----

Lilia wanted to focus on physical protection as much as written knowledge when it came to handling fae. You still couldn't wrap your head around the idea of him being a general but he had old photos, a weird mask, and a massive magearm to prove it. You'd picked up quite a few self-defense moves and practiced them regularly. He wanted them to be second nature to you. So here you are, in a designated training room within Diasomnia.

"You just want to cuddle me," you teased, in the familiar position of him being behind you with an arm around your neck. One elbow was planted in your shoulder, the other clasping it at the forearm to make a little prison for you. He gave a reprimanding squeeze, ever mindful of the pressure since you were fully human. Lilia gave a huffy laugh, trying to relax his smile into something more stern as he wove his fingers into your hair. You flinched at the tug and slapped his arm lightly.

"Focus," he couldn't deny himself the simple pleasure of whispering into your ear. If you asked him, it was to throw you off balance and distract you. "What could you do now?"

You thought about just leaning back into him, pressing against him, but you knew that wasn't what he meant. Capitalizing on this moment of closeness, the stillness, to huck him over your shoulder and into the floor crossed your mind but then you'd have to give him a back rub later.

Not that you minded that, either.

"We could make a deal," you leaned back to whisper in his ear even though it hurt your neck a little. You could tell by the way his bangs fluttered that he'd jerked in surprise. Was that a little pink on his cheeks? Before you could nip his pointed ear, Lilia leaned you forward and took his elbow off your shoulder, opting to hold you in a bearhug instead.

"Acceptable in this situation," he managed, clearing his throat when his voice cracked a little. "Although this exercise is supposed to be combat related."

"So make the terms. I can't negotiate a deal that doesn't exist." you try to break his hold, shimmying your shoulders and sliding your feet to see if you could slip away. He lifts you off the ground with an ease that doesn't seem possible with his short, lithe body. You hang there against him as he thinks.

"Your life for that of your firstborn."

A bit dark, wasn't it? Kind of rude, really, you thought. But, your train of thought continued to ramble, he did find Silver somewhere so it didn't seem too unusual that he'd want a kid. Either that, or he was messing with you because you told him that whisking away kids was something fae were known for in your world.

"You can't have a firstborn with your clothes on." you joke.

"That's not true because I found Silver with my--" Lilia drops you when he realizes what you've said. You weren't expecting him to drop you and didn't catch yourself, hissing as you land on your knees. Before you can start complaining or poke fun at him for being an old man he's locked the door. You're bowled over as he rushes over to you, pinning you on your back as he peppers kisses along your throat and collarbone.

He's several bites in and you’re halfway undressed when you think you hear a knock at the door. Lilia begrudgingly peels himself off of you, licking blood from the corner of his lips.

"Father? Are we not going to train today?"

"M'fraid not, my boy," Lilia turns his attention back to you, opening your legs to slip between them. "But you'll be getting a new sparring partner in about nine months."

His red eyes are glowing. They're absolutely beguiling.

"Do they come with therapy?” he hears Silver mumble as you look up at him through your lashes.

He pounces on you again. It was a brilliant, filthy tactic. He's not exactly mad about it. You've earned favor with one fae, at least, and he will protect you from the others.

----- ----- --- ---

Sebek is a hard worker. He's a product of his environment; he has Baur's straightforwardness, Lilia's dedicated regimens, and his mother's impressive teeth and jaw strength. Lilia thought the best way for you to learn some of the self-defense tactics was to fight someone your size.

Sort of. Sebek seemed to be the better choice since Silver was too sleepy to be a constant threat. And, in Lilia's mind, you should have an easier time fighting a half-fae versus a full fae.

You never noticed how muscular Sebek was until you were under him. He's got corded arms and you can see the muscles of his shoulders flexing under the Diasomnia shirt he chose for the exercise.

You've never seen him in casual clothes! He actually looks very nice. Not as buff as Jack but sturdy in his own way; his chest is broader than you imagined. A solid man.

More than capable of being Malleus' body guard.

You groan as he knocks the air out of you a little. He's on top of you, pressed into your back. He's got one foot braced against the floor, leaning his weight into you. Your arms are pinned at your side courtesy of the one he's snaked underneath you.

When did he flip you over? Asshole, you scrunch your nose in frustration as your cheeks begin to burn. He's an asshole that means well and won't go easy on you, though. He makes sure you learn. You try to inch out from beneath him but he angles his shoulder down and grabs his own wrist, dragging you back to him.

"You're supposed to do something in this situation!" he grumps, "You know how to break this hold!"

You do, but he's heavy and it probably wouldn't work. And he's had a literal lifetime of training versus your handful of months. You've tangled your legs together and used his half-lean to put him on his back. Your kicking like a tipped-over bug and almost free when you remember that his fae half is crocodilian and you might have triggered his death roll tendency.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Sebek's pupils change, the dark of his eye slitting and boring into you. His throat strains like he's growling but you don't hear anything. It trembles against the back of your neck and you're reminded in that moment of just how much bigger he is than you.

How he folds around you and encompasses you.

He opens his mouth, teeth glinting and sharp. "You've bested me," you admit, swallowing thickly as his teeth hover near your shoulder. "Make your deal."

You somehow turn yourself around in his unrelenting squeeze.

Sebek huffs as if he's insulted and you swear you see his teeth dull. His pupils begin to fill out. He's usually loathe to acknowledge his human side, as he'd much rather be full fae, but it serves him in this instance. "I'm not a true fae. Such a thing wouldn't work on me!"

"You have to pretend! Lilia's teaching me how to deal with the fae! You just won't hurt me as much. Maybe." you dare to flash that teasing grin at him and Sebek nearly tears into his own lip because he doesn't know what to do with that wiggly feeling you give him.

Him? Hurt you? Not on purpose. It would go against the core values his grandfather AND Lilia taught him! Any fae caught abusing their spouse would be drawn and quartered, made a public display of. Any human man who chose to do so was no man at all!

Sebek's face feels almost painfully warm. He can feel the heat spreading from his cheeks to his ears. "In an act of benevolence inspired by the great Prince Malleus, I shall spare your delicate human self in exchange for a child. Is that the cliche rubbish you desire?"

Some of his once slicked-back hair has fallen down on his forehead, between his eyes, as if it's disappointed in you too.

"You think our child would be cliche rubbish? Cliche Rubbish Zigvolt? That does NOT sound good! I'm naming the firstborn, you're just helping make it."

"Wha--but I--that's not!" Sebek doesn't know what to say and he hasn't been trained for this. He's careful not to shove you away but untangles himself like a thrown ragdoll. He rolls over sharply, totally fine with hiding his face in the floor. His green hair is in disarray and his arms are limp, stretched out to either side of him.

You laugh, climbing onto his back and raking your nails down it gently. He makes the noise. You're not sure what it is but you've heard it before. It's deep and somehow soothing. He relaxes underneath you as you continue to scratch his back, throwing in a squeeze to his muscles every now and then.

It's not until you're in what would be the small of his back (if he wasn't build so solid and thick) that he raises his head, folds his arms up, and rests his chin on his hands. "You're safe." he can't bear to turn his head and look at you right now. If he did, you'd see how...how...weak and mushy he looked. Sebek snorts through his nose, arching his back in surprise as your hands slide all the way up until you flop on his back and your arms hang off his shoulders.

"Thank you, o' kind Zigvolt!" you hug his neck. "This delicate human appreciates it!"

"And I...appreciate...you." he mumbled slowly, the words a little foreign to him. More scary than foreign, honestly. That heartwarming shyness evaporated in an instant when he pinned you and began a stern lecture about how you should NOT offer to conceive a child with ANY OTHER FAE and what YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD.

You weren't surprised by this. Sebek lectured Silver all the time and Lilia said he was a very informed pupil. You, too, would be informed as it didn't seem like he was letting you go anytime soon.

[clydiepie]

Team Stan x reader! (Cooking for them)

Cooking for your boyfriend is never dull that's for sure lol

cw: none!

Team Stan (individually) x reader who loves to cook for them!

She/her pronouns

fluffy!

mentions of NSFW

Enjoy!! <3

Cartman<3

do i even have to explain???

okay i will lol

HE LOVES IT

"Hey, babe instead of us going out how about I make dinner?" You said popping your head out from the kitchen

"I think i love you.." he mumbled

"What was that?"

"Nothing stupid get back in the kitchen" he joked

While you worked in the kitchen you were super focused, you always wanted things to be just the way Eric liked (especially since he would never let you forget If you fucked something up)

He is probably sitting on the couch playing some videogame with the boys online when he smells something coming from the kitchen.

He pulls off his headset and leaves the game to follow that delicious smell

"Cartman?"

"Where the hell did he go?"

but the game has been long abandoned he shuffles his way closer to you as you focused on whatever was on the stovetop.

You were pulled from your intense focus as Eric protectively wrapped his arms around your waist

"Almost done?"

"Nearly"

Eric is gracious enough to set the table for you guys

Once you guys have eaten, Eric drags you to the couch to cuddle with him (even though he will insist that he only wants to relax while his food digests)

You guys snuggle up on his couch and watch T.V together

you can see his phone on the end table that keeps lighting up with texts from the boys wondering where he went, he ignores them.

"Maybe you should just say over, I don't want to walk you home in this cold weather."

"Eric it's cold every day."

"Shhhhhh"

Kyle<3

He really just wants to help

dear god let him or he'll explode

"Y/N honey, do you want any help?"

"I'm okay but thank you!"

Kyle will sit in the kitchen and watch your every move, not judging or anything he is just curious (plus he just likes being around you)

He waits patiently for you to give him some kind of task, he really just wants to be helpful.

"Babe?"

"Yes!" Kyle says a little too enthused jumping up from his seat.

"Would you ask Ike if he is hungry, I have enough for the three of us." you say with a smile

Kyle begrudgingly invites his little brother to eat with you guys. (he just wanted you to himself)

The three of you are gathered around Kyle's kitchen table as you serve up the food to the boys.

Kyle can't help but imagine what a good mother you would be.

Like you are so good at helping out with Ike he can’t even think about it without blushing

You take notice of his red face and ask if the food is too spicy

“Oh no it’s perfect!!”

He calmly composed himself as you and Ike chat about how school is going

Shortly after you finish eating Ike scurries upstairs back to his video games while Kyle helps you wash the dishes.

The two of you side by side at the sink, laughing as you play with the bubbles in the sink

You take a huge handful of bubbles and slap it in his face

He wipes his face and underneath the mess you see a devious smirk

You slowly start to back away from him knowing what was about to happen

“Oh baby you’re going to pay for that.”

All is heard is your screams as Kyle chases you with a handful of bubbles

“Ike help me!!” You yell

“Sorry Buddy.” Ike yells back from his room

Stan<3

Stan actually didn't even know you were going to be at his house when he got home

His parents are out of town so he figured he would just heat up a frozen pizza or something

But he walked in the door and was greeted by you wearing a cute little apron and setting the table with some simple plates for the two of you

"Uh Y/N, what's all this?"

"Oh, I just thought it would be nice for us to have a little dinner date." you smile

You are so fucking cute Stan can't handle it

He follows you into the kitchen and sees a number of things strewn about the counters

a cookbook sat open next to the stove as you continued to stir whatever was in the boiling pot in front of you

He could tell you were putting in a lot of effort and he felt bad he hadn't done anything for you

instead of offering his help, which he knew you wouldn't accept, he hatched a plan of his own

Stan strolled over to you and kissed your forehead while you worked

"I'll be right back okay?"

You hummed in response deep in concentration with your project

As fast as he came he was gone again, swiftly grabbing his keys and walking out the front door

As you heard the front door close you thought to yourself what he might be doing but you decided just to focus on the task at hand.

Just as you were about to finish up the food you hear the front door open and some movement in the dining room

You figure Stan is just up to some weird joke so you finish up the food and walk into the dining room with 2 plates in hand

You walk out to see Stan holding a bouquet of flowers and the table is set with candles and rose petals all around

"Stanley" you say trying not to cry because of how sweet he was

"What kind of date doesn't have flowers for their girlfriend?"

You put the food down on the table and walk over to him and pull him in for a sweet kiss

"Maybe I could treat you to some dessert later hm" you say kissing him again

"What did I do to deserve you."

Kenny<3

You decided to surprise your boyfriend at his house with plans to make him and his siblings dinner

You arrived at Kenny's and gave the door a quick knock before being greeted by your boyfriend with a surprised look on his face

"Babe what are you doing here." he says as he swoops in to take all the heavy bags you were carrying

"I thought I could make dinner for everyone." you smiled as you started to unpack the contents of your bags onto the counters

Kenny was shocked you would spend your time and money on him and his family

He needed to repay you somehow

As you started to prepare some stuff for cooking you noticed that Kenny had started to help you pulling out mixing bowls and a few utensils

"Ken you don't have to help, I got this," you say resting your hand on his shoulder as he leans down into the bottom cabinet looking for something.

"I know you do but I just want to help, please let me." he cooed standing up with an old wooden cutting board in hand.

You gave in instantly, how could you say no to that face

The two of you worked together cutting vegetables and cooking over the stove, Kenny would sometimes just walk up and kiss you in the middle of something

The two of you worked so well together, it's like he always knew what your next move would be

he was always one step ahead

As you too finished up cooking Kenny did the best he could to find matching plates and cups for you and his siblings

You went to call the kids in for dinner as Kenny put the plates of food on the table

domestic life seemed to fit you both so well, as you all ate Kenny talked with his sister and brother about their day

he held your hand below the table the whole time

After dinner, you guys just tossed the dishes in the sink and went to Kenny's room to cuddle

As he held you in his arms he mumbled a question into your shoulder

"Would you ever want kids one day?"

"Only if you were my baby daddy." you laugh

"Oh, I can arrange that."

Thanks for reading! i kinda got a little carried away sorry if this is too long lol!!

-m <3

[marlynnofmany]

Spice in Space

“Of course your food is a biohazard,” Zhee said while the security scanner approved our delivery.

“The label’s just a precaution,” I said. “Pretty sure this is mostly pepper.”

“Right, yes, the food flavoring that gives your meals the flavor of fire.” Zhee tilted his head, bug eyes looking at everything at once while managing to roll sarcastically. “Not a hazard at all.”

“I don’t mean the really spicy kind,” I said as the box slid out of the scanning machine. “Just the regular spices to sprinkle over eggs and whatnot.”

Zhee picked up the box in his pincher arms. “Right, because eating fire-flavored unhatched creatures is a perfectly normal thing to do.”

I laughed and followed him out into the spaceport. “It is where I’m from!”

“Absolute maniacs, all of you,” Zhee declared with a flick of his antennae. “Now where is that food stall? The briefing said it would be tiny.”

“Tiny and close,” I agreed, looking around. Once past the security checkpoint, this place was a riot of booths and pedestrians with an artsy wave pattern on the ceiling that seemed to dampen the sound. It wasn’t as loud as most spaceports I’d been in.

“I see a directory,” Zhee said. “Let’s just check that.”

“Wait, there it is!” I pointed to a little kiosk between full-sized restaurants. It only held enough room for tubs of ingredients, a gigantic hot plate, and the guy currently scraping food around on it with flair. The sign said “Earth Fry.”

“Of course,” Zhee said, moving toward it. “I should have just looked for the fire.”

As we maneuvered through the crowd of Strongarms, Mesmers, and miscellaneous others, the guy tossed the food with his spatula, caught it deftly in a takeout box, and handed it to the customer waiting at the side: another human. No surprise there. By the time we arrived, he was ready to greet us.

“Hello! Can I interest you in some Earth Fry?”

Zhee held up the sealed package. “We have Earth ingredients for you. Apparently they are hazardous.”

“Oh! Yes, thank you! That’ll be the hot sauce and other stuff.” He took the box and found a flat surface to put it on, then accepted the payment tablet I held out for him. “Thanks for being so fast. Somebody got a bit clumsy during the lunch rush and knocked over a few things. Paid for ‘em, but I can’t get all of these local.” He signed for the delivery while I tried to place his accent. Australian?

“Luckily we were just coming from a trade hub,” I said. “This stuff is straight from Earth.”

“Excellent. It’s been a while since I was home, and you can’t beat the real thing for spices.” He handed the tablet back.

“Very true,” I agreed. “Where are you from?”

“Melbourne,” he said while I congratulated myself on guessing right. “Still getting used to how little any of that matters out here. To the average offworlder, Earth is one place with one type of person.”

“And we’re all lunatics who eat poison, right?” I agreed with a sly glance at Zhee.

He spread his pinchers. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Hey now, the garlic is only poisonous to some creatures from Earth,” the guy said, pointing to an airtight tub. “And the onions. If you want the real toxins, the alcohol stores are that way.”

Zhee looked at the ceiling. “It’s like you all have a death wish. Or take pleasure in hurting yourselves.”

“Some of the pain tastes good?” I said with a wave toward the hot sauces.

At the same time, the guy said, “There’s a reason they call us space orcs.”

I laughed. “Do they still? I wouldn’t think enough people even know what an orc is.”

To my surprise, Zhee recited, “Mythological creature from your planet, famed for strength, durability, and lack of foresight. Rumors do go around.”

“I suppose that’s one way to put it,” I said.

“Nobody thinks that’s funnier than my family,” said the Australian. “I get no end of jokes about it. Especially from my mom’s side — she’s from the US, and thinks we all say ‘space’ funny.”

“Does she?” I asked. “Interesting word to focus on.”

“Right? She insists that it sounds like ‘spice,’ and I just don’t see what she’s on about. But!” He held up a finger and fiddled with his collar. “That did lead to my favorite shirt.” With a dramatic sweep of his overshirt, he bared a bright red T-shirt that said “Spice Orc.”

I burst out laughing. “That’s fantastic!”

“Mom was pretty proud of herself for this one,” he said. “Gave it to me for my last birthday.”

Zhee declared, “Appropriate. Entirely in character for your species.”

“And we even brought you spice!” I laughed.

“That you did!” he said, resettling his clothes. “Care to try some? The shredded beef dish is particularly tasty.”

I looked at Zhee, then turned back without waiting for a response. “We’ve got a couple minutes. I’d love some. With extra garlic, please!”

“Coming right up!” He spun his tongs like a gunfighter, and began tossing ingredients onto the hot plate where they sizzled madly.

Zhee just grumbled and looked put-upon, but didn’t object. I planned to make a big deal of enjoying the tasty fire-and-poison meal on our walk back to the ship.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[ilovegyokeres]

Celebrity Crush- Kenan Yildiz

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Celebrity AU

Summary: During an interview on The Tonight Show, actress/singer Y/N confesses that her celebrity crush is Juventus star Kenan Yıldız.

The energy in the Tonight Show studio was electric, the audience buzzing with anticipation as Jimmy Fallon grinned at you from across the desk.

“Alright, Y/N, we’re about to play a game we all love—Answer or Eat!”

The crowd erupted into cheers while you laughed, shaking your head. You had seen celebrities suffer through this game before, forced to either answer deeply personal questions or eat something disgusting. Now, it was your turn.

“Okay, so we have some great options here,” Jimmy said, motioning toward the tray of nightmare-inducing food. “We’ve got a sardine smoothie, pickled pig’s feet, and—oh, this one’s special—hot sauce so spicy it made The Rock cry.”

Your eyes widened in horror as the camera zoomed in on the fiery red sauce.

“Oh my God,” you groaned. “I already regret agreeing to this.”

Jimmy laughed and picked up a card. “Alright, first question! Who is your celebrity crush?”

The audience immediately erupted into “Oooohs” while you covered your face with your hands, shaking your head.

“Jimmy, come on,” you groaned. “That’s not fair!”

“Oh, it’s very fair,” he said, smirking. “You can either answer… or you can take a nice, big spoonful of the hot sauce.”

You turned toward the crowd for help, but they were fully invested in the drama, chanting, “Answer! Answer! Answer!”

You exhaled, weighing your options. If you answered, it would be everywhere—trending on Twitter, reposted on Instagram, probably even dissected in football forums. But if you didn’t answer, you’d have to eat the hot sauce from hell.

Sighing dramatically, you decided to just go for it. “Okay, fine. My celebrity crush is…” You paused, milking the suspense before finally saying it.

“…Kenan Yıldız.”

The crowd exploded.

Jimmy threw his arms in the air like he had just won a championship. “YES! Juventus’ golden boy! I knew it!”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“Oh, come on,” Jimmy teased. “Young, talented, ridiculously good-looking… I mean, I get it.”

You shot him a look. “You’re making this worse.”

Jimmy ignored you and turned straight to the camera. “Kenan, if you’re watching this—bro, do something!”

The audience screamed in laughter, and you knew in that moment… this was going viral.

Thousands of miles away, in Turin, Italy, Kenan Yıldız had just finished morning training when he walked into the Juventus locker room. He grabbed his phone to check his messages—until suddenly, he noticed something strange.

His notifications were insane.

Instagram DMs. Mentions on Twitter. TikTok edits of your interview already spreading like wildfire. His teammates’ group chat was blowing up with messages.

Manuel Locatelli: KENAN. WAKE UP. CHECK TWITTER RIGHT NOW.

Federico Chiesa: Bro, why is a Hollywood actress calling you her crush on live TV???

Moise Kean: Damn, Kenan, you got Y/N crushing on you?

Kenan frowned, confused. “What the hell are they talking about?” he muttered to himself.

Then, Nicolo Fagioli—one of his closest friends—came running up to him, phone in hand.

“Kenan, look at this.”

Kenan took the phone, and there it was—your clip from The Tonight Show, already trending.

He watched as you laughed nervously, as Jimmy Fallon teased you, as you literally said his name on international television.

His jaw dropped.

“No way,” he muttered.

Fagioli grinned. “Dude. She has a crush on you. Like, the whole world knows now.”

Kenan stared at the screen, watching the way you blushed when you said his name.

She likes me?

A slow smirk spread across his lips as he replayed the video. His teammates gathered around, hyping him up.

“Kenan’s Hollywood now,” Chiesa joked. “You gonna DM her or what?”

Kenan leaned back against his locker, pretending to be nonchalant. “I don’t know… Should I make her wait?”

Moise Kean laughed. “Bro, if you don’t message her, I will.”

That was all it took. Kenan grabbed his phone, opened Instagram, and went straight to your DMs.

Your DM from Kenan

Later that night, you were lying in bed, scrolling through your phone. The internet had lost its mind over your interview. Fans were making memes, football fans were freaking out, and Juventus supporters were already shipping you and Kenan.

You sighed, shaking your head. What have I done?

Then, a notification popped up.

Kenan Yıldız has sent you a message.

Your breath caught.

Heart racing, you opened it.

Kenan: So… I’m your celebrity crush, huh?

You covered your face with your hands. Kill me now.

After a moment, you typed back:

You saw that, huh?

Kenan: Hard to miss when the whole internet is talking about it.

You hesitated, then replied:

Well, I guess I could’ve just eaten the hot sauce.

Kenan: I’m glad you didn’t. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have an excuse to message you.

Your stomach flipped.

Before you could overthink it, you typed:

So what are you gonna do about it? ;)

There was a pause, then—

Kenan: How about dinner? My treat.

Your eyes widened.

You stared at the message, heartbeat pounding. Was this really happening?

You finally typed back:

Only if you promise not to bring up the interview.

Kenan: No promises.

And just like that, your celebrity crush was no longer just a crush.It was the beginning of something real.

[slytherinshua]

♩　HEAL THE SOUL 　( 최범규 )

genre sickfic , fluff , angst , beomgyu x fem!reader   cw implied abusive parents for both beomgyu and reader , cold symptoms (cough/headache) , beomgyu and reader are homeless and ran away from home lol inspired by 0x1=lovesong and loser=lover , not proofread   wc 1089   request yes   note i swear this txt emo era needs to go away (or not and that just means more txt fics)   net @kstrucknet @moadiarynet

You were sick. Nothing too serious, but something unpleasant enough to remind you to not take being healthy for granted. It was even worse now that you didn’t have a bed to sleep in, or warm food, or a shower. Beomgyu would have to drive another hour or two to the nearest public gym, and you really didn’t want to bother him enough for that just so you could ease your body with hot water. 

Your head ached, though. And your throat felt a bit dry. You had coughing fits every hour or so, and not much appetite. But Beomgyu was paying close attention to you whenever he could, feeling your forehead for abnormal temperatures, and making sure you had enough layers to stay warm. It definitely wasn’t the most ideal time for you to fall ill, but there wasn’t much you could do to prevent it either. 

Running away from your old town, your old life, with Beomgyu months ago had easily been the best decision of your life. Away from the constant headaches, the pain, the discomfort. Two broken souls in a beat up car driving until they found somewhere new to call home. That’s the life you two had now. But it wasn’t so bad. As long as you had each other, you got through alright. 

Beomgyu had left five minutes ago to buy whatever the cheapest hot meal was at the gas station. You were parked in the empty parking lot by the old laundromat, bundled up in one of Beomgyu’s old hoodies. You couldn’t run the heating in the car while you were parked, much as you would like to. Already tight on money as it was, you both knew how important it was to save gas. 

Your mind wandered as you looked out the window, headache pounding at your head as you shivered. You wondered what your mother would think of you if she saw you right now. How she would mock you for surviving off a twenty-year-old car and your old savings. You had worked hard to leave. Saved up as much money as possible from old part time jobs and bake sales. Although you had to give up luxuries like a warm bed, a functional kitchen, and the stability of a proper home, your current “homelessness” felt much more homely than your childhood house ever had. 

Beomgyu joked about it with you all the time. How your similar childhood experiences of abuse had led you here into each other’s arms. How it wasn’t quite so bad if it meant you could spend the rest of forever with each other. Perhaps the scars were just pathways to a better future.

A cough bubbled in your chest and you scrunched your eyes shut in frustration. You were tired of this stupid cold. You rasped out a few painful coughs before your throat cleared, burning and sore as always. You tucked your legs up to your chest, staring up at the pink sky. It was pretty as always, but the earlier the sunset, the more you anticipated how cold the night in the car would be. You could hardly enjoy the pretty clouds or colours thinking of how much you would have to rely on Beomgyu’s body warmth again that night.

“Ramen and painkillers for only fifteen thousand won,” Beomgyu grinned as he slid back into the drivers’ seat of the car, two steaming bowls of ramen in each hand. One spicy and one mild chicken flavour. A small packet of Advil was stuffed into his pocket as well. 

“Fifteen? How much of that was for the pills?” you asked a little on edge. What was not in your plan was to have your sickness burden down your expenses. It was already tight as it was.

“Ten thousand— But I won’t let you argue with me about this. I want you to feel better as quickly as possible,” Beomgyu said simply, placing the ramen on the dash of the car. 

“Beomgyu.”

“I said I’m not gonna argue. I already paid for them, so you’d better take them,” he reiterated a little more sternly, giving you a stubborn look which you had rarely seen directed at you. You sighed, recognizing a losing battle before it even started. Grabbing that packet out of his hands you pushed one small pill out of its casing and gulped it down with a little water. Beomgyu’s smile came back on his face as soon as you swallowed. 

“Now eat.” He grabbed a pair of chopsticks and scooped up a few noodles between them. Blowing on them softly, he held them out to you, carefully feeding you the warm broth-coated noodles. You hummed in thanks, grabbing the bowl from his hands and sipping more of the warm soup part.

It had been a while since you’d had a hot meal. Even if it was just instant ramen, it soothed your throat better than anything else had. Your headache was starting to subside thanks to the painkillers, and you were once again grateful for how attentively Beomgyu took care of you. He knew exactly what you needed without you even having to ask. 

The feeling was foreign. Of course, it had been years since you had first fallen in love with him. But having someone who truly cared still took adjusting to. You’d always had to beg your parents for basic things like clothes without holes in them and medicine for flu season. Years of being ignored and neglected made the switch hard to properly process. 

You hoped you could at least repay him with the same amount of love and attention that he showed you. Out of anyone you had ever met, Beomgyu certainly deserved it. 

After you both ate and cleaned up, driving around the deserted roads until you found a safe spot to park for the night, Beomgyu took out his grandpa’s old guitar and gave it a few strums. Adjusting the tuning of the old strings only took him a minute to do thanks to years of practice. He played almost every night. And on nights when he didn’t, he would still sing you to sleep while you were wrapped safely in his arms. 

The life you had chosen to live with Beomgyu certainly wasn’t easy, but every hour you spent in his company you felt your hope grow a little more. Some little voice inside your heart told you everything would work out. Because if you had Beomgyu by your side, what else did you need?

txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @cham3li,, @wolfmoonmusic,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,, @amara-mars,, @wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,, @bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @sxmmerberries,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,, @cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @stannwjnss,, @gong-fourz,, @nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @stantxtforabetterlife,, @loserlvrss,, @lexeees,, @cupidslovearrows,, @hyukabean,, @nicholasluvbot

[crsssie]

oops... i got married || TO SOME STRANGER!??!?!?

word count: 1.4k || Fic 5 of oops... i got married

summary: I'm gonna be fr with you. Your new malewife is a little sus

You get married as a joke.

Yes, there are limits to how much you can drink. Yes, there are limits to how insane you can get while drunk— but apparently getting married is not within that limit. You get married to some random guy— SERIOUSLY. SOME RANDOM DUDE. You wake up to a legally signed marriage document and them in your kitchen, and you blink at the confirmation email on your phone and then at your new lover at the door.

"You're going to be late for class."

"What the fuck?!" 

You pause at the sight of your new husband, some random man, white hair and red eyes, and you pause. Did you get transmigrated? Are you in an isekai fic? Is this your main character moment? Seriously, how the hell did you manage to bag some random ass man!???!!? WHAT. WHY IS HE HOT.

"Wait." You pause. "How do you know I have class?"

"The backpack." He points. "Now, hurry on up now."

That does NOT explain how the hell you met your husband. Yet, you don't have time, grabbing breakfast from his hand as he waves goodbye to you at the door. Great day to pay expensive ass rent but live right next to campus. You wonder if your husband lives someone. You feel kind of bad that he had to take you home after you got plastered yesterday. But. That does not excuse the fact that he looked suspicious as fuck while staring at you sleep. Also, how the hell did he agree to marrying you? WHY.

You huff as you walk back to class, pausing and blinking when a piece of the ceiling breaks off and slams into where you were sitting, somehow missing all of your belongings by a hair. You blink, stupefied, grabbing your stuff from under the ceiling as you evacuate the lecture with the rest of the students. Someone hates you... or something. You don't know. You're surprised you didn't just die while drunk. Sometimes pianos fall out of the air and try to bomb you. Also, you have a husband to go home to now! He'd be sad if you suddenly died... right?

Wait. What even is his name?

"Casper." Your husband rolls his eyes as you pout. "You forgot your own husband's name?"

"Uh huh." You blink. "Are you just going to be my househusband now?"

"I don't see why not. Anything interesting happen today?"

"Oh!" You grin. "A piece of the ceiling slammed into my seat, but luckily for me I was in the bathroom. My stomach problems saved me for once."

Your husband gives you a smile half between concern and amusement. (he would have to try harder next time— what. that was not him. who said that.) 

"I'm glad you're safe."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." He pauses. "Do you get acid reflux in the morning?"

"If I eat and sleep immediately after." You mumble. "Why?"

"Hotpot." He hums. "Spicy hotpot. Eat up."

Your eyes light up, brightening as he hands you a bowl of rice, watching as you dig in, humming happily as you watch him put his own bowl down.

"Is it good?"

"Mhm!" You beam. "Where'd you learn to cook?"

"I live alone." He hums. "Someone has to do the housework around my place."

"How about currently?"

"I live a little... far away." He pauses. "It would be hard for me to see you every day if I don't live at your place. Besides, my job is in the area."

"Will you move here? Or..."

"No. My management provides housing for free." He smiles. "Oh, the food's going to get cold."

You pause. "Can I apply?"

"No. We don't take applications."

"WHAT." You groan. "Ugh. I knew it was too good to be true. You probably sold your soul for it or something."

Casper doesn't speak up, placing a slice of lotus root in your bowl. "Eat up."

You raise a brow but don't pry further. It's not your problem if your husband sold his soul. At least he's hot.

Maybe he's secretly trying to eat your soul... demons... that checks out honestly. You did have a bad stroke of luck when it came to unfortunate situations, and you had an even more comedic one when it came to avoiding them. Always nearby, never you. You wonder if that would curse your husband. Though, from the looks of it, your husband would probably steal someone's soul before that curse could even lay a hand on him.

"What are you looking at?"

"You're very hot." You grin.

You laugh when you notice your husband turn red.

The vast majority of your days pass relatively calmly, and you grow into a comfortable pattern with your husband... that is until your husband shows up with a black card and tells you that he can cover rent for the rest of your life— that raises some questions. What does your husband even do for work? What is he doing with his life? How the hell does he have a better credit score than you? Where is his money even coming from?!

You force him into the corner of your house one afternoon with a broom in hand.

"Sunshine, I really think—"

"Spit it out." You stare him down. "What do you do for work. I refuse to believe I'm in a kdrama, so spit out something you can back up."

Casper presses his back against the wall, eyes darting to the wall as you shake the broom at him, and he grimaces.

"I'll get fired if I tell you—"

"NO ONE HAS A CAMERA IN MY HOUSE SO SPIT IT OUT"

"I'm a grim reaper."

You pause, blinking at your husband, words processing in your brain.

"I'm a grim—"

"They hire people for that?!" You blurt, pausing. "Wait. No. You're spouting nonsense at me."

"I am not."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Are!"

"Not!" Casper turns around to face you, shaking as your grip tightens around the broom. "Please... go through my closet?"

"So your job is literally... murder?" You pause. "My stay at home househusband is secretly some insane man who goes around killing people?!"

"It's not—"

"Then what is it?!" You raise a brow at him, unconvinced.

"We get a list." He sighs. "And we get everyone's name."

"Wait." You pause. "Why the hell did you agree to marry me then!?"

"That's not—"

You shake the broom at him.

"You were supposed to die years ago but kept avoiding death so I've just decided to marry you to see WHY you're not DYING." Casper braces himself for the broom's impact, but you're too stupefied to give him a proper answer.

"I'm supposed to be dead?"

"Well..." He grimaces. "You can't really... die." 

"I'm immortal?"

"Your... soul." He pauses, turning his head to the side. "Your soul is endless, and you constantly give life to those around you... including me."

You pause. "So you married me because I'm a natural healer? Wait. No. You married me to kill me?! This isn't some josei manga, you know?!"

"Yes, but." Casper sighs, shoulders relaxing as you drop the broom. "You are so lovely."

"You're just saying that."

"I am not." He mumbles. "I would have just taken your soul if you were not."

"Oh, so this is pretty privilege?"

"It's not—"

"Wow, Caspie. I thought you actually loved me." You pretend to sigh. 

"I do—"

"You didn't kill me because you think I'm lovely? If that doesn't—"

Casper grabs your wrists, holding them in place as he blinks at you, grumbling. "Would you shut up and listen to me for just a second? Goodness, sunshine, I love you. I'd go mad if I did not have you as my beloved."

You tilt your head at him, and he sighs.

"I love you. I'm not going to try killing you anymore."

You sigh, shaking your wrists loose as you press your lips to his, humming. Casper doesn't argue with it, humming as his lips slot against yours, hands moving down to your waist. 

"So we aren't getting a divorce?" You mumble.

"No." He grumbles. "What do you want for dinner?"

A smirk spreads on your face as he sighs.

Still. He loves you.

[writing-zelda-brainrots]

Then Apothecary![Name] challenges the boys to eat something with a species she created that would be the minimum of a hot chili in our world in exchange for a couple of rupees if they last 2 minutes

No one lasted that long and maybe even their tongues got a little burned and they lost the sensation of taste for a while-

Yes, we're making white people jokes here. I admit, they're pretty funny depending on the execution. Also relatable. While I don't mind spicy food (it's not my favourite, but it's not like I'd turn my nose up at it), my mother hates it. Dad loves it, though.

Wild handles it the best because, honestly, he has a lead belly. Bro literally ate rocks. He'd probably ask for more, even if he is going to regret it later when his tummy gets the rumblies.

I actually think that Rulie likes spicy food. He can't handle it at all, but he likes it anyway. Also he gets to beg for sweets later and no one would blame him.

Four's in the corner saying how he now knows how the metal he works with feels. He's coughing and gets the hiccups after just a few bites.

Time seems to be doing well, but what the others don't know is that he's got a bottle of milk he's constantly sipping from when no one's looking. No cheating! It gets taken away very quickly and he is suffering.

Honestly, Wars and Legend have about the same level of tolerance. They make an unofficial bet on who can last longer. Also may or may not be adding more spicy stuff into each other's food to make the other lose.

Poor Wind tries to put on a brave face, but everyone can see that he's not taking it well. Mostly because of he does not have a poker face.

Twilight immediately opts out. Just the smell coming from the pot is making his eyes water. Too bad. If they all have to suffer, so does he. (Please note, do not give your dog anything spicy. It's not good for them and will end in a trip to the vet).

Sky has it the worst. Living at such high altitudes his whole life has not prepared him for a lot of things. Also I never really saw much variety of food on Skyloft, mostly pumpkins. No tolerance what so ever.

On the bright side, if they ever get something that they can't handle, they can just give it to [Name] so they don't have to waste food.

[keen-li]

"IT JUST SLIPPED"

Today you had to shoot a cooking talk show like video for your YouTube channel. You were so excited and happy cause you had two special guests. Bangchan and felix.

You had a hard time sleeping cause you were so nervous today. And as you walk through the studio towards the set up kitchen you get even more nervous.

"Have they arrived?" You ask your assistant as she walks beside you.

"Yes they just got in" as she says that the nervousness sinks in more.

Its the first time you and any straykids members are filming something together, you have many reasons to be nervous but the main reason is you're afraid you might slip up. Slip up? Yeah you're afraid you might accidentally call chan 'baby' like you always do when you're with him. But most of the time when you're with him it's not infront of large lights and cameras.

Nobody knows that you two have been dating, not your companies, not your crew, not even you're assistant, it's still kinda new so you wanna keep it low. The only people who know you and chan are dating are his members. Who said they found out when they all "accidentally" saw you and chan's chats. The defenders were han and Lee know, when you saw those two open there mouths to defend you knew it was bullshit. Who accidentally reads three months worth of conversations in front of others accidentally.

You were kinda mad and embarrassed that they read your messages cause you and chan had some spicy texts and pictures in there. But chan promised to talk to them and keep his phone better which made you feel better.

And it seemed like chan's talk did work on them, cause they never brought up any of the messages or made any silly joke about it. They only congratulated you and made you feel comfortable.

You see the familiar figure of your boyfriend and his bandmate walk in straight to you. You and chan give eachother smiles hoping no one noticed cause you and him need to keep this a secret.

When they approach you, felix first, you share greetings and give eachother hugs. When chan hugs you he tries to not make it obvious by placing his hand a little lower on your back.

"I missed you" he whispers into your ear and you feel the heat consume you.

"Shut up were supposed to be undercover" you joke.

"But I missed you too" you confess still in a whisper.

You two missed each other like you didn't text and facetime everyday when you can.

He walks by you as he greets the crew.

After sometime and getting things ready it's time to film.

Since its your youtube channel and show you have to be the one to introduce them.

"So today we're gonna do a little cook and chat" you begin to say to the camera.

"But before we do I wanna introduce you to two people" you give a look to chan and felix as they take it as a sign to get into frame. They give their biggest smiles to the camera as they bow to it and to you which you return as well.

They give their intros and you smile at them as they express how they're happy to be here and how much they've always wanted to be on your show. It makes you blush but it's not like you didn't know. One of the reasons this filming idea came up was because chan expressed to you how much you he wanted to be on your show. And after both of your companies accepted, the date was set.

You and the boys laugh as you answer some funny questions and chop up some food. One of the questions led to chan having to tell an embarrassing story which makes everyone in the studio laugh. You also end up telling a story and chan can't help but watch as you smile and giggle when you tell the story.

He always loved hearing you talk and express yourself, it's one of his favourite things about you. Feeling his loving gaze on you, you glance at him and warn him making him look away and focus on washing the lettuce.

You're cutting some cucumber when it slips from the grip of the knife and cuts you a bit.

You hiss catching everyone's attention. Chan looks at you worried as he watched you rush to the sink. It kills him how he can't just run over to you and care for your wound just because people might find out.

"I'm good guys" you say but it doesn't help lighten chan's heart.

Felix notices his uneasiness and taps him on the back. "She's okay bro relax" he doesn't pay much attention to that as he watches a staff wrap your finger with a bandaid.

After you get back you grab a new knife and new cucumber as chan stares at you still uneasy.

"I'm okay chan" you smile at him and he feels a little more relieved when you say it directly to him, maybe it's your smile that comforts him. But he still wishes he had been the one to help you.

You continue to shoot the video as chan takes over the cutting duty and puts you in egg boiling duty. Which you rolled your eyes at. He's so protective, as if you couldn't burn yourself with hot water.

After you're done with the shooting, chan approaches you.

"Let me see your hand" he grabs your hand not even letting you choose whether or not he can see your hand. But you let him cause he's just trying to be caring.

"Are you okay?" It's a question he keeps asking you and you don't know if you wanna answer him again.

"I'm fine chan, now let go of my hand before someone sees us." He doesn't take heed to your words and continues to examine your finger touching I lightly which you find comforting.

"You don't look fine. Want me to give you a hug?" He says slowly moving into you. If no one has noticed the two of you someone's gonna notice now. You try and push him away giggling at his words, you really don't want your cover blown but chan doesn't seem to care. He doesn't care actually.

"Baby I'm okay" you say a little louder than you expected. You immediately move away from chan and stare at the people now staring at you. If the company hears about this you're screwed.

"I meant chan" you laugh awkwardly.

"It just slipped" you try and assure the people around you. You know they couldn't care less but you'd never know who'd be a snitch.

"I call everyone baby anyways" chan laughs as you try to convince yourself.

It's no use they heard you clearly.

.....

Its been been seven days since your cooking episode with chan and felix aired. And you heard some rumours and theories going around on the Internet.

So you decided to check on the comments yourself.

Chan giving y/n those loving eyes

I want someone to look at me like the way chan's looking at her

If these two aren't dating I'm gonna take y/n

These two gotta be dating look at the way he's looking at her.

I can feel the tension between them

The chemistry between these two.

Kiss already

You didn't realise the tension between you and chan was so obvious. Maybe it's the way you spoke and looked at eachother. And after watching the video for yourself you can definitely see it.

"Our love can't be hidden" chan said when you brought the issue to him. You laughed, he doesn't take this seriously huh?

[glamourscat]

Possible… Rin Okumura… nsfw alphabet headcanons? If it’s okay?

RIN OKUMURA NSFW ALPHABET HCS

a/n: not proofread :(, i hope it's what you were looking for?!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I can see a lot of cuddles. Maybe a bit of confusion the first time, considering it will be Rin's first experience. But he is a fast learner. Once he is used to the emotional spiral of intimacy, I think his favourite part would be aftercare. Just holding you, breathless, together staring at the ceiling in comfortable silence and lazy kisses? Yes sir. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think he would particularly like his back and hands. His hands because they allow him to cook the food you so much love, but simultaneously allow him to squeeze and hold your body. Which brings me to my second point.

He is a boob guy. I have said it. Sorry, not sorry. Yeah, he likes to squeeze them. And his hands do just the perfect job. But small or big, they are still his favourite pillow to use. Especially because he gets to listen to your heart. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I do not know if it’s related or not, but with him being half demon his body has adapted and changed from the “normal” human body. I think it would probably enjoy finishing inside, because of his half demon instincts. Yes, there would be quite a lot…

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

More like a thought. After you two got together he felt like his hormones were all over the place. Even just a single hand holding got him worked up. He felt ashamed and embarrassed, because like… get it together? It almost felt like trying to control his flames all over again, just this time, he was finishing in his pants just at the thought of having you close.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not experienced at all, but a fast learner!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything he can see your face. I think he would be such a kisser during sex, more than he already is. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is already a goofy individual per se, i think he would try to act– be serious, the first time around. But as you two learn more about each other, he realises there’s nothing better than him being himself. He loves your laugh and if he can make you feel good and laugh? Yeah thats a double win

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I can’t really see him as the type who grows a lot of hair in general. I do think he would have a very faint happy trail leading not a few hair, trimmed. Not too long, not shaved completely. Just comfortable for the both of you. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is romantic. Or tries to. Sometimes it seems like he is joking, but he is just an awkward ball. Overall, he is very very sweet. And wants nothing but to make sure you are well and feeling good. Also, soft whispers and moans in your ear/neck, he loves feeling your reactions when he does that.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I mean… he probably has read some spicy manga before. Mostly when he was single. I don’t know, he seems like the type to do so. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

So… strong mummy kink? Yeah, I know. Biting, dry humping, fem dom, praise and worship, pegging. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His or your room. He needs the time and comfort to make you and him both feel good without distractions. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The vibes, but generally just you. Being together, maybe a makeout session turning into something more. Late night talks turning into sleepy sex. Showers turning more intimate. Just the intimacy, almost the domestic like, vibes between you two. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

restraints, sure, he loves pulling you close by his tail. But no, he wouldn’t use it to make you stop moving. He likes the closeness too much, but especially because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Anything that can hurt, is a no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Big on receiving. The first time he gets a blow job I think he would probably see stars lmao. He also just loves holding your hair, caressing your cheeks and just praising you when you do it. But, he won’t pass down on giving. He will eat like he is starving, just saying.  

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Is not sex, it’s love with him. Period. There might be some rough thrusts but it’s more out of a pleasure thing, not out of lust. His pace will change base on what you two both need, but it will always start off slow and sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not a fan. Maybe quickies n1 hater. He needs to take his time. However, i do think he would enjoy occasional foreplay or dryhumping without going further if you two do not have much time. It’s a double edge sword, though, because once you two start he just wants to continue lol.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He does love risks, does he not? He would be down to experiment as long as you're too. Maybe trying some weird position you two read about, even if it turns out bad, he knows you two can just laugh about it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Solid two. Objectively, he can go for more, but he is considerate of how many you want. As I have said, sex with him is more than just that. Is a whole emotional and mental connection– which can be draining in a good way.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don’t think he does own some, but, if his partner does then he will be intrigued enough to try and use them on you. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A TEASE. Too much. But then you do it right back at him and he is whining, moaning and begging to stop. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

LOUD. can’t be silent for the life of him. He just can’t. He wants you to feel good and for him to know. And vice versa he will do the same. His moans are the most beautiful thing ever.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The first few times you two were intimate he was so nervous, just a mess, that a tiny flame or two would appear on his head especially towards the end, close to him finishing. He is still embarrassed about it to this day, especially because after the first time he came, he cried. It was just too good, ok? No judging.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Curved up, cute blushy pink tip, on the thicker side? Solid 6 inches when hard. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I think is high. Just– high lmao. I do not know if it’s confirmed in canon, but do demons have a mating season? Yeah…

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not fast, he would like for you two to chat a bit first. Maybe take a bath together and eat something. He is so big on intimacy time where sex is not involved. Just being closed, naked bodies close, as he caresses you and you two whisper sweet nothing to each other. 

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters' Favorite Fast Food Restaurants

As requested by @sharks-musket :)

I've done food-related Cosmere posts in the past, such as "Rock reviews food from across the Cosmere" or "Cosmere characters review food not native to their planet" or "What Cosmere characters would order at Subway".

But for today, let's consider what characters' favorite fast food restaurants would be, if such things existed in their universe.

1. Shallan: Five Guys

I cannot possibly improve on the joke that @epicmilly has already made: https://www.tumblr.com/epicmilly/762060066847424512/could-you-do-cosmere-characters-try-fast-food?source=share

2. Marasi: Dairy Queen

Steris: I cannot believe you still eat here. Steris: Multiple people have gotten food poisoning from the food! Marasi (looking up from the Blizzard she is going to town on): They have food here?

3. Kelsier: In-N-Out

Kelsier: I'm not gonna lie. I'm a sucker for any restaurant with a secret menu. Dockson: It's straight-up published these days, though. Kelsier: Well sure. There's no point to a secret that never gets out!

4. Hrathen: In-N-Out

Hrathen: I don't know how effective it is, but I appreciate that this restaurant prints verses from its holy text onto its packaging. Hrathen: I mean, it's the wrong holy text, but... Hrathen: [looks over to where Dilaf is standing on a table, ranting loudly] Hrathen: Some people take that more personally than others.

5. Lift: Sonic

Lift: They got tons of milkshakes, which is fun. Lift: But mostly I like all the carhops who glide around all graceful like! Lift: I haven't seen even ONE scooting around on their butt! Lift: That's how you KNOW it's a stormin' quality place.

6. Adolin: Wendy's

Adolin: I support redheaded women in business! Shallan: ... Shallan: That should sound so cheesy, but somehow it works when you say it.

7. Steris: Arby's

Steris: I think more restaurants should have slogans that simply state what food they have. Steris: "I'm loving it"? Presumptuous. "Have it your way"? Yes, that is how restaurants work. "Quality is our recipe"? That is not how recipes work. Steris: But "We have the meats"? Now THAT'S a slogan that tells you something about a place! Steris: ... Steris: What do you think? That's my Arby's routine. Wax: I think it's going to be a hit at the party!

8. Lopen: Taco Bell

Lopen: Not as good as chouta, but they have their own type of wrapped meats that are pretty good! Lopen: Best eaten drunk, if we're being honest.

9. Vin: KFC

Vin: You can get a BUCKET of chicken. Vin: It's a great food to chow down on while you're sitting perched on a roof in the darkness. Elend: I love you so much.

10. Wayne: Subway

Wayne: I order my accountants to eat there at least once a week to learn their business practices. Wayne: They made their $5 sandwich $14 for no reason! Wayne: That's the kinda business sense I wanna see in my guys. Daring: Great news! Your "This Sandwich Is Overprice Don't Buy It" campaign was a huge success! Call: People thought it was hilarious. They're selling like, well, like your overpriced sandwiches (since nothing is selling better). Wayne: Harmony DAMN IT!

11. Nightblood: McDonald's

Nightblood: I like how focused this restaurant is on slaying evil! Nightblood: There's the evil clown, the evil burglar guy, the evil purple guy, the evil guy with a burger for a head... Nightblood: They really promote lots of characters that need to be slain! Szeth: ...I sometimes doubt your ability to detect evil, Sword-nimi, but in this case, I know you are correct. Nightblood: Thanks! Nightblood: Wait, what was that first part?

12. Kaladin: Burger King

Kaladin: A lot of these restaurants have weird stuff, like a "Big Mac" or a "Prezel Baconator" or a "Doritos Locos Tacos." Kaladin: I like this place because it has "fiery chicken fries." Kaladin: Spicy. Made of a recognizable animal like a chicken. Fried. Kaladin: It all makes sense. It's all clear. Syl: [making her face look like the chicken on the box] Syl: This chicken sure is angry! Kaladin: It probably didn't want to be fried.

13. Dalinar: Burger King

Dalinar: The Way of Kings changed my life, and I feel that this restaurant, The Burger of Kings, will surely do the same. Adolin (in the tones of someone saying this for the umpteenth time): It's called Burger King. Dalinar (ignoring him): Already I ponder the deep philosophical implications of "Have It Your Way," which forces one to consider how every individual person has their own "way," their own journey, and must accept it. Adolin: Yes...I'm sure that's exactly what they were going for. Dalinar (peacefully munching fries): You doubted my visions at first, too.

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

Monsters walk at night (Monster!Price x f!reader)

Another one for @glitterypirateduck Price writing challenge!

Scenarios used, 16. ‘A Pursuit takes place’ and 44. 'A world where mates exist':

Warnings: monster fucking, NSFW, unprotected p in v, partial smut, literally getting chased down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started off as an innocent walk through the woods by the large cabin Price had rented, (seemed more like a house when you saw it), stating you all needed a break. He had distributed the rooms when you all had arrived, securing the perimeter and making sure the security cameras and alarm system worked. You remember the day clearly.

The fridge was fully stocked as were the bathrooms, all the amenities needed for a few days stay away from civilization. You walked into the kitchen getting ready to make some food, the drive there was long and you were absolutely starving. “What are ye plannin ta make and can I have some because I am famished.” You turned to find Johnny strolling into the kitchen. “Well I wasn’t offering to make dinner just looking for a snack, but it’d be a shame to have the cabin burn down.” Johnny groans from the table, “It was one time bonnie! Was nae like I was plannin on burnin the place up!” “Johnny you set the place ablaze tryin to make CUP OF SOUP!” “I was tired!”

Price walked in shaking his head as Ghost and Gaz came in behind him chuckling. Simon piped up, “So you makin food or not?” You roll your eyes, “I’ll make a steaming pile of dog shit just for you Ghost.” “Make sure it has garlic and potatoes, yeah?” After dinner was decided on, (not dog shit), everyone settled in for the night with the exception of you and John. “Fancy a walk luv? There are lights on the trails.” You think about it for a minute and nod, “Sure. Seems like a nice night, gotta walk off that meal too.” You both chuckle and walk outside, the night warm so there was no need for jackets.

You both had been walking for about 20 minutes, the scenery beautiful and calming, making small talk as the scent of Price’s cigar smoke wafts around in the night air. The light from the cigars burning tip gave Price’s already attractive features a boost, almost making him look scary in the dark of the woods. “You know, I could use a bit more exercise. Up for a chase?” You look at him confused as he takes a hit from his cigar and blows the smoke upwards, the red embers showing in his eyes.

He leans closer as you take a step back, his eyes gleaming, his teeth seeming sharper. “Run.” That was all you needed as you took off into the trees. You don’t know how long you ran before you finally heard his boots hitting the ground behind you. He was far but not by much, the sound of his boots thudding loudly, almost like he was heavier now. You had briefly stopped behind a large rock but continued when you heard his voice ring through the forest, loud and strange. “Run all you want sweetheart. I can smell you from a mile away.”

You had barely made it to a clearing when you were tackled from behind. You managed to turn over, finding Price but he looked different. Horns protruded from his head, a spiked tail swaying behind him, teeth razor sharp and eyes glowing like the flames of hell. “Caught you darling. Smelled you the second you started running. Getting chased down turn you on?” You blushed, turning your head away. Sure you had always found Price attractive, you knew he wasn’t totally human, and maybe you had some disrespectfully spicy dreams about him, so who could blame you for being turned on.

He nudged your cheek before moving to your neck, inhaling your scent. “My mate.” “What?” “You’re my mate luv. Smelled it the second you walked onto base.” “ O-oh, um I-“ “Do you accept? I may be a monster but I’m not an asshole. I’ve seen your dreams, heard your whispers.” “This isn’t a joke right? Because…I love you, have for a while and if this is some weird or cruel joke just so you can get laid it’s not funny.”

His eyes widened, stunned. “You think so low of me? That I would make a joke of something so serious?” You shake your head no and he sighs in relief. Nuzzling into your neck, he licks and groans as he tastes your flesh mixed with sweat. “Do you accept?” You nod, “Words, dearest.” “I accept.” A rumble forms in his chest as you kiss him and you both begin to undress. You had felt the bulge of him rubbing against your thigh through the talk and it had you needy.

To say he was large was an understatement as you openly stared at the size of him. “It’ll fit fine luv, no worries.” You nodded hesitantly, “Please be gentle.” He kisses you to smooth your nerves as he slowly pushes in, catching all your pretty noises in his mouth. “That’s it darling. You were made to take me.” He was only half way in but you already felt so full of him but he continued to slip inside unhindered. When his hips finally connected with your’s he left out a drawn out moan into the night air and pulled back slowly. “I hope you’re ready sweetheart, because it’s about to be a long night.” Running a hand over the obvious bulge in your skin, you clench and that’s enough to get him started.

The night is spent surrounded by the sound of his hips meeting your’s, breathy moans, the name of your captain loud on your lips and hands firmly gripping his horns for the ride. He didn’t let up until the sun had almost broken the horizon, both of you spent and newly mated.

[byunpum]

Can I ask for a side story of dad!Tsu-tey, like he and Neytiri and Jake have to do important adult stuff with the new clan they are in leaving the kids do their own thing

And the Omiatkaya kids are with reader who is making lunch with the spice they have with them to cook and Tistreya, Amoung, and Rotxo, try forest people food and it turns out that it's quite spicy as it's a delicacy

Pair: Tsu'tey x Y/n daughter x sully family x Metkayina kids

Warning: None, Domestic moments, ao'nung being drama queen

Note: This would be like an alternate part to tsu'tey's "i can be a better father" series. You can read it HERE.

AVATAR MASTERLIST

Lo'ak had dragged his entire group of friends, including his brothers. Ao'nung, rotxo and tsireya were trailing behind the group of boys. They were proudly talking about their half-sister's culinary skills. "I know you're going to love it, Y/N is the best at making stew" lo'ak was excited. You had told him the day before, that you had collected everything to make his favorite dish. The metkayina kids were also excited, according to what their friends had told him this food was different from the ones they ate, which was something very tasty. 'Majestic;' as tuk said, as she jumped up and down with joy as they got closer to your marui.

The way to your marui was a bit further, as it was inside the jungle of one of the islands of the metkayina clan. So practically everyone was running. You were left alone, as your father had to go on a trip with Jake. So you were left alone with spider, and you had invited your siblings to have dinner at your home today. In the distance you can hear the voices of the group of friends. "We're here!!!" says neteyam, pushing lo'ak out of the way and entering the marui before anyone else. You laugh, watching as they were arguing over who was going to eat first. Meanwhile you were wiggling, and putting the last ingredients in. "Hey…calm down…there's food for everyone" you scold him, seeing how behind them you recognized three familiar faces. You say hello too, they looked a little shy. But you calm them down, telling them that they were practically family, that they were more than welcome.

All the boys sat down, waiting for the food to be ready. As they all talked and joked. They could smell it, the rich smell coming out of the pot. After a while, the food was ready. You bring out the plates, nice plates that you had brought from your old home. Handmade jars made by your father, perfect for when you made your stew. You hand everyone their respective plate, the metkayina boys were surprised to see the color and the rich smell coming out of this food. Tsireya watched as her friends were already beginning to eat. "Y/N this is delicious…thank you" says kiri, as she continued to eat.

"You're welcome…mmm I hope you like it. I want you to be honest with me, and tell me what you thought?" you speak, watching as ao'nung began to eat. Followed by roxto and tsireya. After the first bite, ao'nung started coughing but calmed down. Trying to calm down, as he watched your eyes widen in concern. "Everything okay?" you ask him. "Yes, yes…it's very …. yummy," ao'nung says coughing. Meanwhile tsireya, was eating quietly as was rotxo.

Rotxo was next to you, eating all the stew on his plate. This was not the first time he had eaten some of your food, but it was the first time he had eaten this dish. "Y/n this is delicious" says Rotxo, wagging his tail from side to side in happiness. You laugh a little, and shift your gaze. It looked so pretty.

"Y/N one question…what's that stuff at the end, it's like it stings, but it's delicious?" asks tsireya, the girl was excited about the food, it was something so new to her. She had never eaten anything like it. It was a very spicy dish.

"That's spicy…it's something special that Y/N puts in it," said neteyam. Meanwhile, ao'nung was still eating, but the more he ate the more red he was getting. But still, everyone ate every last drop of the stew. You start picking up the containers, everyone looked normal except for ao'nung who looked a little sick. He looked a little uncomfortable, and his face was red. You reach over, and touch his shoulder.

"Ao'nung are you okay?" you ask, watching as your friend fake a smile, but you could see his painful facial expressions. "Did something happen with the food?" you ask. "No…it was - delicious, it's just that I" ao'nung puts his hand to his stomach, you could hear the crunching sounds his stomach was making. As it is he twisted in pain. "You're not well…I think the spicy sauce made you sick" kiri says, as other guys came over to see what was wrong with their friend. "No…I'm fine, don't worry" speaks ao'nung, trying to hold back a mouthful of vomit.

"I think we should see mom" tsireya says, moving closer to her brother. Helping him up from the floor. Everyone was worried, because he was getting worse very fast. "Yes…come on, come on" you help tsireya carry ao'nung. The poor boy was trying to keep his balance.

.....

.....

"I think these tanks will last for about 5 months" tsu'tey says. Jake, neytiri and tsu'tey had set out from the morning on a quick trip to the camp in the hallelujah mountains. They were going to get some supplies, like oxygen for spider and Y/N. And find out if there was any new news. "Yes…I think up to 8 months." Says jake helping tsu'tey carry the oxygen tanks to his marui. When they arrived, they noticed that no one was there, and there was a mess of dirty dishes and cooking utensils. As if someone had walked past them, as if someone had left in a hurry.

Both men put down their oxygen tanks, and look at each other in confusion. Tsu'tey was already getting nervous. Just before either of them could speak, neytiri rushes into the marui. "Tsu'tey come…Y/N is in trouble" says neytiri. Tsu'tey runs out, behind neytiri and jake follows them. What could have happened, you were not a girl who made trouble. The group of friends arrived where he had indicated to neytiri. Tsu'tey saw how Y/N was at the entrance of Ronal's marui, next to her was spider. He was holding his sister's hand, and neteyam was in front of her calming her down. He could see how nervous she was.

The group of friends approached the boys. " Dad!!!" you whimper, running to hug your father. Tsu'tey hugs you back, patting your high back. " Dad…. I swear I didn't do anything!!!" you were a little agitated, neteyam walks over to his uncle. Like the big brother he was, he was going to clear the whole thing up. "Teyam, what happened?" asks Jake. Looking at his children cautiously, lo'ak was at his brother's side. Meanwhile spider, was still holding your hand. "I can explain everything…" speaks lo'ak. But his father makes a grimace for him to keep silent.

"Dad… Y/N prepared something to eat for all of us and we invited the guys. But the food that Y/N made was spicy. and apparently that was very bad for ao'nung. Ronal yelled at us, and made Y/N feel very bad" neteyam tries to explain everything that happened. Meanwhile you were trying to hold back your tears, it was the first time in your life that someone yelled at you the way Ronal did. You had never experienced a bad treatment from an elder. That hurt you, you were a very well-behaved, kind girl. You were obedient, and you hardly ever got into trouble. And now you felt very guilty.

"Dad…he was very bad. He even vomited blood, and it was my fault" you were trying to sound calm, but your crying voice was creeping in. " Sweetheart this is not your problem, you didn't do anything…calm down" tsu'tey tries to reassure you. Jake walks over to you, and strokes your hair. "Y/N I'm going to talk to ronal…you take it easy. Go with your dad to your home and rest" jake speaks, walking away to enter ronal's marui.

Tsu'tey tries to comfort you some more. He then asks neteyam as a favor to take his sister home. All your brothers take you to their marui. While Tsu'tey and Neytiri accompany Jake. No one was going to be yelling at his daughter, while tsu'tey tried to defend you. Jake tried to calm him down, they didn't want to get kicked out of the clan. The boy's stomach was pretty badly hurt, so what had happened had been very serious. But it was not justifiable the bad treatment that Ronal had given you. After discussing for a while, and making all things clear. Everyone went home.

Later in the evening, you were calmer. Your brothers had stayed with you. Then the rest of the family arrived. Tsu'tey prepared something to eat, so that everyone would calm down. Even Neytiri was comforting you, she felt that you did not deserve this bad treatment. And for such a simple thing, it was not your fault that the boy was so weak in the stomach. After dinner, everyone went home. Spider had gone to bed early, while tsu'tey was finishing a basket he would use to hunt fish. Meanwhile you, you wanted to go apologize to ao'nung.

"Hey, where are you going?" asks tsu'tey as he watches you walk out of the marui. "I'm going to walk for a while…I want to clear my head" you speak. Your father just gives you a smile, and keeps working.

You had to apologize to ao'nung. You felt guilty, after all you were the one who made that meal. Poor thing, he must feel terrible. After a while, you arrive at the marui of tsireya and her family. You were afraid that Ronal might see you and yell at you again. But to your good fortune, only tsireya is there. The girl sees you at the entrance, you had your arms crossed.

"Hey!!!" says tsireya in a low voice, approaching you. "Hey…how are you?" she asks you.

"I'm fine…. I came to check on ao'nung. I didn't get a chance to see him" you speak, lowering your head expecting tsireya to be upset with you. But you feel her take your hand, and begin to guide you to where ao'nung is supposed to be. "He's better…tired. But he's going to be fine" the girl says dragging you along with her. You are surprised at how big her marui is, it is very beautiful. You can see ao'nung lying on the ground, on a kind of makeshift bed. He was half awake, moving his face to see what his sister was doing.

"Hello" you speak softly trying not to make him uncomfortable. Ao'nung laughs, and you raise your hand a little. Waving at you foolishly, and making a sign for you to approach him. "Y/N you're here" he speaks, you could tell he was still in pain. You sit next to him, watching tsireya walk away, to do other things. "I want to apologize…I didn't mean for you to get like this" you try to apologize. But you hear a giggle coming from ao'nung. "You're silly!!!" the boy teases you. You give him a pinch on the shoulder, and he yelps in pain but doesn't stop laughing.

"I know it wasn't your fault, I'm just a giant baby….I should be the one apologizing" ao'nung stops talking, and takes your hand. To give it a squeeze and stroke the top of your hand with his thumb. "She shouldn't have yelled at you like that…it was unfair. I apologize sincerely, on behalf of this family and the clan. You are an honorable member, and I know you would never hurt anyone…least of all me, would you?" ao'nung went from a very touching speech, to being flirtatious in seconds. Winking at you, while seeing that you're blushing. " Yah, get off me…. idiot" you whine. Pulling further away from him, sticking out your tongue.

The two of you stay silent for a couple of seconds, until you move over and adjust one of ao'nung's curls. to lift you off the ground. "Well I'm glad you're okay…mmm tomorrow I'll make you a drink perfect for these things" you speak, as you see ao'nung's eyes widen. "Really…it's very good" you joke.

"I'll eat and drink whatever you give me…I don't mind. But only if you prepare it" he winks at you again. You look away, ignoring him. If he was right, he was still the same stupid as always. But even dumber and weaker.

[honeylations]

SHIN RYUJIN x FEM!READER

Prompt: You wanted to spend your day off playing your new Pokémon video game but seeing your hot ass girlfriend walk around the dorm in nothing but a bra and sweatpants, your plans changed.

Warnings/Notes g!p Ryujin, dick riding, mentions of Yeji

A/N: for those anons that requested Ryujinnie :p

———

Happily placing your new Pokémon game and your switch on your bed, you quickly made a run downstairs to the kitchen and started searching through the pantry, snatching every bag of chips you could find.

Doing the same to fridge shortly after for any soda or juice boxes.

“Are you aware you have 5 other members living under the same roof as you?” Yeji asked.

You almost got whiplashed from how fast your turned your head to the dining table where Yeji, Lia, Chaeryeong, and Yuna were eating the Kimchi Jigae your girlfriend had kindly cooked.

Actually, it was just so Yuna could stop whining about hungry she was. Speaking of your girlfriend, you noticed she wasn’t around.

“Where’s Ryu?”

“Taking a shower. Now are you gonna explain what the hell you are doing?” Lia crossed her arms and eyed the Doritos and Turtle Chips locked in your arms after shoving cans of Mountain Dew into your pants and hoodie pockets.

“Since it’s our day off, I’m gonna spend the entirety of it playing the new Pokémon game Yuna gifted me” You smiled at Yuna who received a pinch by the leader.

“I told you not to buy her that game”

“But I love Y/n Unnie so much!” The youngest pouted.

You blew her a kiss. “Love you Yuna. It doesn’t hurt learning a thing or two from her, Yeji Unnie” You joked.

Yeji raised her fist and muttered under her breath.

“How’s the food guys? Hope I didn’t make it too spicy for you, Chaer” Your lovely girlfriend appeared in a grey Calvin Klein bra and grey sweatpants.

Her hair was blow dried and on her neck was the silver chain you bought her on your 2nd year anniversary. After playfully ruffling Yuna’s hair, she made her way to you and paused to look at your little crime.

“Hi baby” You smiled.

“At least save some for us, my love” She pouted and hugged you regardless of your full hands.

“Sorry, need it to survive”

“We do too you selfish brat!” Chaeryeong yelled.

Ryujin stepped back to reach into the cupboards and grabbed herself a bowl. “Alright, time to eat”

“Thanks for the kimchi jigae, Ryuddaengs!” Yeji said.

“You’re very welcome. Babe you wanna eat with me?”

Little did she know, you had placed all the snacks and drinks you took on the kitchen counter, busy eyeing your shirtless girlfriend and her flexing muscles. Your eyes travelled to her veiny muscular hands that reminded you of the nights she loved wrapping it around your throat when you two fucked-

“Baby?” Ryu called out to you again.

Her voice sent a tingle to your core being enough of a reason for you to make her abandon her bowl and drag her upstairs.

“Grab your earphones, girls” Yeji sighed while pinching her nose bridge.

Locking you and Ryujin in your bedroom, you pushed her to her knees and rushed to push your sleeping shorts down.

“U-Uh”

“Shut up and put your mouth to good use” You hissed after discarding your shorts, showing the damp spot on your white panties. “Look what you did”

“All for me, darling?” Ryujin smirked, running her hands around your thighs before gently parting them.

“You know what you were doing, walking around looking so fucking hot. Now finish what you started”

“Of course, Princess”

The kneeling girl started licking you over the panties, making it more wet than it already was. She then managed to get you to remove it before sucking on your clit. Your hand grabbed onto her hair while the other held her shoulder to keep your balance.

“Mmm yes Ryu” You softly moaned, arching your back when you felt her tongue slide inside.

“Always tasting so good” Ryu panted before diving back in, making you grind into her mouth and not caring that your juices were drowning her.

She used two fingers to rub at your clit while she continued pushing her tongue deeper inside. “F-Fuck oh my god!”

Her deep moans started to make you shake, already having the need to cum all over her pretty face. “N-No can’t c-cum yet. Wanna do it on your cock” You cried.

Ryujin heard it clearly so she pulled away and stood up, wrapping her right hand around your throat to pull you in for a hot sloppy kiss, allowing you to taste yourself.

“I like seeing you try to dominate” She smirked into the kiss.

You scoffed and pushed her to sit on the edge of the bed. “I better see that cock out once I finished undressing” You ordered to which Ryujin shrugged and obeyed.

You stripped out your (her) hoodie, showing that you had no shirt nor bra underneath. And just like you asked, Ryujin was bare from the waist down, dick rock hard and she’s leaning back on her hands, smiling at you.

You sat on her lap, instantly holding onto her strong shoulders and connected your lips again. She massaged your waist before helping you sit on her standing cock, releasing a breathy moan into her mouth.

“Mmm, always so tight for me right baby?” She whispered.

You nodded while throwing your head back, letting your girlfriend’s lips attack your breasts, ensuring she marked you enough.

“F-Fuck, so big so big so big” You cried into her neck while moving your hips up and down.

“Very disrespectful of you to not let me eat with the other girls” Ryujin suddenly commented, forcing your hips to go faster and her nails dug into your waist.

“I-I’m sorry”

“I bet you’re being loud to get a rise out of Yeji Unnie, right? Wanting her to break through that door to punish you for being loud by stuffing her cock in your mouth? You’d like that wouldn’t you princess?”

The thought got you crying harder as you bounced roughly on your girlfriend’s cock. She brought her lips to your ear and chuckled.

“I don’t mind sharing you with her for one night. I know you’re a slut for cock”

“Y-Your cock is my favourite, Ryu” You sobbed, kissing her lips for reassurance.

“Hm I know. And I’m gonna make sure it’s the only cock you beg for” She growled and started thrusting her hips up, fucking you harder.

“Ryujinnie!” You screamed, clawing at her shoulders and drool escaped the side of your lips.

“Fucking pathetic. Trying to control me when you fall apart just like this. Be thankful I’m feeling nice today” Your girlfriend groaned.

“Thank you baby! Thank you thank you” you rambled, reaching one hand down to rub at your clit, seeing the way your stomach bulged at each deep thrust.

“Gonna cum with me baby?” She panted.

Lost in so much pleasure, you could only nod and allow Ryujin to fuck you like a doll, shoving her tongue down your throat while her hips drilled into your desperate cunt.

“Cumming…Ryu I’m cumming!” You voiced out and your legs started shaking.

“Fuck” You heard her growl into your jaw, finishing with long lazy thrusts as she emptied her cum inside, feeling it escape your abused lips.

“Are y’all done?” Yeji’s voice suddenly spoke on the other side of the door.

Ryujin, despite her tired state, smirked and eyed your breathless figure in her lap. “Yeah, I guess. Why you wanna join?”

“I’m not opposed to it but not today. Are you still gonna eat?”

“Oh right. Baby, I’m gonna eat now” She poked you but your little snores gave it away.

She kissed your head and rubbed your head. “Be there soon, Unnie just give me 10 minutes”

A/N : sorry it’s so short, I’m running out of ideas T^T

[adabird]

Katsuki Bakugou x Quirkless Y/N headcannons

genderneutral reader!

AGED UP CHARACTERS

-When Katsuki first met you, he thought you were really cool. He first walked into the business course, hero adjustments when he was a first year. After he saw you working along Hatsume he ended up liking you.

-Certion things he liked about you was your style, choice of music, the way you spoke, and the way you carried youself.. He overall thought you were really pretty. Even though you weren’t loud and gruff, you were more observant and silver tounged when need be..

- Katsuki would ask you out randomly, but you would’ve denied since many people would ask you out as jokes BECAUSE you were quirkless..( The first time you said NO, the second time he asked you said YES)

-Katsuki ended up coming to you wayyy more often than he needed to. Like ‘adjustments to his top’ or ‘adjustments to his gloves’. Something that he could obviously fix himself..

-By the time you two were serious he would meet your friends, and you would meet his. Naturally his friends (the Baku-Squad) ended up hanging all around you finding you fascinating.

- The one thing he always admired about you was how strong you were, even without a quirk. He always opted out to NOT telling you he used to make fun of quirkless kids. and quite honestly, you would’ve never found out. The worst of the situation was that he found you to be the most captivating person ever..

-You wouldn’t really be into spicy foods, but if you were they would NEVER be as spicy as his. Whenever you would try his spicy ramen or spiced soups he would always keep a glass of cold water and your favorite yogurt flavor on hand..

-He would enjoy it whenever you came to watch him train, it always gave him that mental boost to try harder and win more..

-He would always be gentle with you, since you would make him nervous he would end up sweating a lot (nitroglycerin), so he’d keep the two of you away from fires and candles.. especially on date nights..

-He would be nervous to hold your hand, I believe he would have kind of scratchy, and rough hands.. I mean, his quirk is explosions, so his hands would have to adapt to that. And he wouldn’t want you to be grossed out, or get hurt by them.

- After dating you, people would noticeably see change in him. He became more ‘soft spoken’ (the best he could) and always straightened up to you.

-Over all, Katsuki would really love you even if you didn’t have a quirk!

This is my personal interpretation of Katsuki x Quirk-less reader!!

@takeomurasaki

Let me know if you have any new suggestions!! I’m always open to anything MHA!!

-Onie out!

[im-yn-suckers]

soft moments with enhypen

pairing-bf ot7 enha x fem reader no pronouns are really used so ye

warnings- kissing, cuddling, midnight convenience store run, food, tired niki, sitting on jungwon and niki's lap, in a FLUFFY way, not proofread. ;-;

heeseung ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

he got home from work and saw that you were sleeping on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket. the tv was still on an everything. he sat next to you for a little bit, kissed your head and got up to shower. once he got out of the shower, you were still asleep. he sat down, and scooped you into his arms. you woke up after a few minutes,

you two watched tv for hours while telling each other cheesy jokes and pick-up lines, with kisses in between. you two got hungry so you made your way over to the kitchen. you looked around with heeseung glues to your back. you decided on a snack of your choice and went back to the living room.

you two aim snacks into each others mouths and giving each other light peck when it made it into a mouth (?) he kissed you passionately and you two cuddled for at least another two hours.

jay ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

you were laying on your stomach and jay was massaging your back. pressing kisses on your skin whenever he had the chance. once he was done, he pulled you onto his chest and started singing you to sleep. his voice was sweeter than honey and smoother than butter. (idk either, ok?)

you fell asleep and he started to tell you the things he loved about you. all with you unaware of what he was saying.

he kissed you head and straightened the hairs that were out of place on your head. he braided a small patch of hair on your head and undid it. he adored your features as you were asleep.

-''i love you, so much"- he whispered to you, still sound asleep, in his arms.

jake ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

it was mignight and the both of you were starving. not to mention, you guys were wide awake. you decided to drive to the convenience store in his car. before you went in, you said.

-"ill get the drinks, you get the snacks, got it?"-

he nodded in response, you two walked in and spilt up. you snagged the last of your favorite drinks and met up with jake in the snack aisle. he asked what you wanted but you guys ended up grabbing tons of stuff.

you payed and left to the car. (you put on your seatbelts ofc. click it before you ticket!) you popped open both of your drinks and handed jake his. but before that he did that one thing where he puts his hand on the back of your headrest. you blushed but he didnt notice.

you rushed home. watched a movie and cuddled all night.

sunghoon '•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

he took you on a date at the skating rink bc why not. he booked the entire skate rink for the two of you for 5 hours. everytime he sped up, you stumbled a bit, leaving a smile on his face. he would purposely speed up so you have an excuse to hold his hands.

-''slow down jagi''-

-''im not going that fast''-

-''you're going to fast for me, slow down a bit''-

-''ok, ok''-

he stops suddenly and you bump into him. you landed in his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. he kissed you, hands on your waist, your hands on his chest, slowly making their way around his neck. your cheeks turned a crimson red.

you two kept skating for another hour or so. once you got home, you cuddle and just watch tiktoks. maybe even do some. he kisses you in the middle of a tiktok you two are recording.

sunoo˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

skincare items were scattered all over the floor infront of you. you sat on the edge of the bathtub. sunoo kneeled between your legs, he began to pepper your face with kisses to ''prep'' it. he put your face mask on, and you put his on.

you two got hungry so you headed to the kitchen to make some dinner. you made some korean style spicy beef and rice. the timer for your face masks went off and you race over to take them off and put some serums on. you go back to cooking and make corny jokes.

the food is ready and you finish up your skincare. you ate and watched movies while cuddling.

jungwon *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

eating dinner with many things to talk about. laughter filled the air along with the scent of food. you told him about a quiz you had the next week and being the comfort person he is, you studied for a bit with jungwon watching, attached to you. you watched movies while laying down on the couch. after an emotional rollercoaster from the movie, you got hungry again so you went to make ramen for the both of you. you slurped your noodles softly and jungwon watched.

he wanted to play video games and you wanted to be on your phone so, you two went to his bedroom. while he played videogames at his desk, you wanted his attention so you went and plopped yourself on his lap. he wasn't surprised, so he continued playing his game.

after a few minutes, you put your finger in his dimple because you were craving his attention.

-''do you need my attention love?''-

you only nodded in response. he turned off his game and out his stuff away. he goes to the bed with you and you cuddle until you two fall asleep quietly.

niki ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

you two were paying hide and seek because its fun. you find him while hes trying to find a new hiding spot. when he finds you, he picks you up and jumps as softly as possible. he kisses you deeply and after a while, you found yourself in his lap. he was laying against the couch while he played videogames on his switch. he occasionally craned his neck down to kiss the top of your head.

you were dozing off and niki was watching a movie on his phone when you woke up. you two had a tickle fight and niki won. all while you were dying of laughter.

after a while you went to the kitchen for water only to find niki half asleep on the table.

-''baby, go to sleep''-you said

-''no, i dont sleep without you. you know this''-

-''i know but-''-

-''no buts. im not going to sleep.''-

-''i'll be a few minutes ok, just go get ready for bed, ok?''- you pressed a kiss to his forehead with his arms lazily caressing your waist. he hummed in response and went to get ready for bed.

a few minutes later, you enter your shared room and plop on the bed. a few seconds later, niki plops down beside you.

-''thank you baby"- niki mumbled softly.

-''why? i should be the one thanking you for waiti-''-

you were cut off with his lips on yours. you fell asleep in his arms. your breaths seemed to sync with each other. your chests falling and rising at the same time.

the end