hampter-nicky

[hampter-nicky]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[hampter-nicky]

NASA released the clearest pictures yet of our neighbours in the solar system

Oh and of course us

Honourable mention

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I'm girl ?

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What do you even do when the dude waves his red flags PROUDLY 😭

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Happy Neil Day! Please enjoy the very rare alternate Neil images!

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was playing 20 questions on the 8 hour drive to visit my grandparents & after like 10 minutes of utterly fruitless questioning my brother suddenly asks me with such exasperation & contempt "is it some sort of petrified remains"

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Realized I have a naked rat and a small piano

Here's Harry banging out the tunes, April 13th 2023

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Today is a National Holiday,

Everyone raise a glass to Neil

[hampter-nicky]

I wish you all a happy Neil banging out the tunes day

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ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

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everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

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good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website

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the team gets pyro one of those devices where you type what you wanna say and a robot voice speaks it for you, and they all expect pyro to talk like a child but they actually just have the vocabulary of a really pissed off new yorker

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can i admit something

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Not what I expected coming from John Green

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happy phoenix wright eats glass day to those who celebrate