#yes something happened today
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How do I explain to all the women at the gym that I'm not staring at them because I'm jealous of them or anything im staring at them cause I'm a gay piece of shit
#mona's sessions#yes something happened today#i was at the gym#and for some reason my brain went into freeze mode and i kept staring at this hot ass girl like mf she was so hawt#and she must have noticed (well duh mona youre not that smooth) and she came over#and she was like “i can teach you how to do thaf if you want to learn'#and i was like “oh shit does she think i was staring because i wanted to do what she was doing”#so i quickly apologised and was like “oh im so sorry its just that youre really hot”#and she just laughed and said “no problem” and went awau#AND IM JUST STUCK HERE WITH SHAME#S H A M E#@ hot gym lady i love you
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women are so interesting and like that's so hot like i swear the moment a woman says weird stuff i start having diabolical homosexual thoughts
#mo's lesbian experience#yes something happened today#this one person was in the same room as me and just being goofy and then seconds later i was too embarrassed to look at her+#+because i realized that i wanted to kiss her
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kim closet cosplay because he has truly bewitched me body and soul
#ok to rb :))#I'm gonna make his jacket properly but I just happened upon this cropped orange bomber at the thrift today?? a sign I think#it can't really be modified to be accurate so I'm gonna look for something else easier to work with but. good for visualizing it#yes I'm gonna get his gloves and more accurate glasses too#I want to make his gun out of eva foam as well........ so I'll have something to pose with#my friends r gonna be fem!harry and klaasje I'm so excited :))))#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#narcissus's echoes#narcissus plays dress up#kim kitsuragi cosplay
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Of course post-canon odysseus and penelope love each other (they are a little bit insane about the other. Neither is allowed to leave the others side for months after odysseus gets back. They cycle between sobbing on one and another and aggressively making out. ) but it's true that they have both changed. It's been twenty hard years after all. So
Odypen courting each other again just for the fun of it. Odypen deciding to act like teenagers again and make elaborate plans pretending to sneak into the others room.
Odysseus sending penelopes 90 year old dad a letter challenging him to a race for penelopes hand in marriage. (This does not go over well but penelope though it was hilarious)
Odysseus begging Athena to help him win penelopes heart/hand again. (Athena: What no why you're already married I don't understand you ) (she helps anyways)
Penelope weaving all of odysseus's clothes. Penelope hauling out every tapestry she made of telemachus's childhood (she made one for every year. To gift odysseus on his birthday when he returned.)
Odypen leaving telemachus incharge while they go off on dates (to harssass, cause problems, and badger other people into giving them things). It should be fine Athena has been sticking close to the house lately. And it's only for an afternoon anyways (at first. Headcanon that penelope came with odysseus when he had to go plant the oar and call it a windmill quest.)
#The odyssey#Post-canon my beloved#An important part of the heros journey is that even though you've changed irrevocably the home still loves you#Odysseus#Penelope#Telemachus#Athena#Odypen#Odysseus and penelope being 🥰🤝 rat bastards in love#Odypen mutually obsessed and possessive and insane about the other#Odypen age 50 deciding to act like teenagers for fun#Yes penelopes father did show up to the challenge odysseus set and then promptly beat his ass in a foot race#Yes this did cause a major diplomatic incident when he demanded penelope come back with him#(Hes never ever warmed up to odysseus and every day he mutters about his sweet penelope could have been athenas priestess instead)#(It took telemachus weeping at his grandpa about how he just got both parents for him to change his mind)#Odysseus: athenaaaa I've met the girl of my dreams and I need her to be mineeee#Athena: having flashbacks to odysseus at 17 and the complete distracted mess he was: what the fuck is happening#Athena: like obviously I'm going to help but I am also going to lay on telemachus's floor#And mutter about how this is just like last time? How could it be just like last time when they're already married#Not quite falling back in love but something close to it#Relearning perhaps#As always I'm having post odypen reunion thoughts#Odypen showing of diomedes doorstep in Italy and he just closes the door immediately he's not dealing with two odysseus not today
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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hey wouldn’t it be funny if Susie made a robot to hold onto her memories for her. cause. cause yeah. okay bye
#happy cringe day Wednesday#today we are being silly#I have a few ideas but this is the concept#this is what happens when susie can’t sleep /j#kirby oc#I think her name should be viva because 1. vivid 2. *other long explanation* 3. she is a new life and 4. a nod to Vivy the anime#she sings and stuff#there’s some Pinocchio stuff happening here#my art or something#susie haltmann#susie kirby#yes the objective was to store her memories so she could get rid of them without feeling guilty because there was a Backup#since viva shares some of her memories they’re less like creator and creation and more like sisters#will i ever draw that?#*sips drink and stares off into th distance*#time will tell
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Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔
#arya stark#asoiaf#something something /joy of giving/ could align with /all men must serve/ and Arya's apprenticeship with the courtesans#Arya learns more about courtly manners and becomes more comfortable with engaging in highborn spaces#while becoming more privy to Braavosi politics and how that connects to her responsibilities/identity as a Stark#when I imagine Arya reclaiming her identity I imagine it coming with her acceptance of even the /hard/ parts of her identity#I think Ned's words about /summer games/ and growing up will be incredibly relevant to her here#her reclaiming her identity while ignoring the /Lady/ aspect of it makes no sense...especially considering how often we're reminded of it#literally every time she reveals her identity it comes with people acknowledging her highborn status#one thing that makes me wish we had on-page Cat/Arya interactions cause I think her twow arc will be heavy on remembering Ned's words 😭#imagine her reuniting with Jeyne before she knows Bran+Rickon are alive and deciding to reclaim her identity at the unmasking festival#I have a pet theory that she could end up /taking responsibility/ for Jeyne's marriage to Ramsay in order to offer some protection to Jeyne#I think it fits considering she has a very protective nature and could feel guilty since she had the opportunity to reveal herself to Roose#basically I want the reclamation of her identity to be incredibly personal and about her feelings + values#which is why I like to imagine it happening before she's aware rickon+bran are alive but after she gets news that Jon is dead#I want her motivation to return home to be primarily about her internal development while outside factors are supporting#/need/ Arya exploring and accepting her identity in her own way#deciding to be Arya while her family is lost to her and that identity is connected to an unwanted marriage would feel so significant#(and yes it was Jeyne that was married to Ramsay but it was Arya's name used and it's still (partially) about/will impact her)#anyways I think about Arya's Braavosi arc a normal about can you tell? 😀#one day I won't put the majority of my post in the tags but today is not that day#I definitely thought too hard about this though that's why I have to hide it lol
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UUGHH I JUST HAD THE WORST DAY IM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED GRRRR !!!!! goes to draw my best friend @jumjum-crafts 's guy to blow off steam
★ version without text + reference image under cut :
★ song : "STATIC ELECTRICITY HUMAN – Computer Flavor" – kairikibear
#before you ask . dear jummy – yes . this was what the ask i sent you the other day was alluding to#i have a very complicated relationship with your colin . but you should be aware of the fact that seeing him invokes intense primitive –#– feelings within me . and one cannot decipher whether they are positive or negative#in any case#JDHDHDJRJRHT I HATE MY LIFE#I HATE THIS SHIT#I WANT TO BE DEAD#there's so much stuff happening every day and im constantly overwhelmed and tired and it's so hard to get out of bed and i don't even want –#– to wake up in the morning . every day just gets worse than the last#everyone around me is doing so much . living their life to the fullest . making huge future and career decisions and planning way ahead#and what am i doing ?#im laying in bed . crying because today was just too much to bear . trying to gain an ounce of happiness by ripping out another piece of –#– my soul to hand out to someone i admire#is this what it's going to be like forever ? bleak nothingness ? constant desolation ?#...#im gonna go to bed#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis colin#colin the computer#fanart#fanart for a friend#vocaloid#vocaloid inspired#i actually had a lot of fun with this . even if the background was the biggest pain i ever had the pleasure of drawing#this entire song makes me feel comfortable#i might make something for someone else#and im debating if im actually gonna be doing a halloween drawing in the first place . at least one that will be on time with the holiday#whatever#please ignore me
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kissy for the birthday boy 💥💥💥
#AUGHH posting ship art is so embarrassing for me but i wanetd to do something for knuckles anniversary#and didnt have enouhg free time today to start and finish something#and ive had this sitting unfinished for a couple weeks. so i figured why not just finish it and use it even if its not much#so yeah . gay people be upon ye#ive had them on my brain sooo much lately can you tell.#sonic the hedgehog#sth#knuckles the echidna#sonknux#sonuckles#my art#am i just awlays gonna be that one guy releasing little droplets of sonknux into the endless sea of sona//dow#every time something shadow related happens . Well somebody has to do it . might as well be me .#< joking im nto trying to pit the pairings aginast eachother or whatever and the timing here was just a coincidence
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yaz's blend of ego and the need to be/act like somebody else bc Yaz-not-good-enough is a very delicious character contrast.
#dw shit#and yes it Did appear in the show bc god if i get one more person saying on one of my posts about#something that was In the show#that it should have Happened in the show i#won't do anything but i will be irritated for an hour#anyway these are the stories of a woman who naturally has an ego but got bullied a lot and it's hard to spot if u ask me#ambition can at times be egotistical and yaz is ambitious as hell.#eventually i will do a rewatch and post all this stuff with receipts from the show but today is not that day#or tomorrow#i'm busy
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In the old commonplace version of rjk events where rk never broke up and Jamie later joins the relationship (so rk still remain publicly facing whilst rjk is kept secret, at least in the beginning) I love to imagine Jamie sets his phone background to a picture like that brett-juno hand holding one after some event rk attended, because he can't get over how good they both look and how sexy they are, and then in the locker room the next day the boys all see it and are like "??? damn bro you really ship them, huh." And Jamie is just like 🥰😘 Yeah I do 😍☺️
#and then someone-jan probably-doesn't know what shipping is#so after it's explained to him he's like. well. that's a little weird; no?#and then dani (number one rk stan) is like 'no i kind of get it. and that is a good picture of them.'#and then sam is like 'yes i get it too that is how i feel about colette and linguini from ratatouille' and he pulls out his own phone#which of course has ratatouille fanart or some shit as his background jkvjkqeg#and jamie pats him in the back and makes that one goofy placating face of his lmao. and is like 'well. not quite like that mate.'#no more details provided and the whole locker room is left like ????? what on earth just happened here lmao#ted in the doorway: 'well then. I think we all learned something about each other today' kadhgka#royjamiekeeley#ted lasso#jamie tartt#keeley jones#roy kent#ship post
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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cas girlism reign eternal because we were cas baited to thee bitter end. where’s the angel forever and ever. we won because he is alive and heaven is his house but they kept that gay angel from our screens in a manner most foul
#the thursday cas pic promo tweet for the finale.#the promo pic was literally just him and they couldn’t even spare single vo line#(this is not in the vein of discourse btw im just reminiscing. we were in those trenches though)#(I do not bite my thumb at noble houses of sam or dean but the show did indeed very much end with both of them on screen brothers only were#the targeted 30 percent. and yes the show started about them but then. something happened in 2008 you see)#i don’t know why I’m in a posting mood today that’s twice now prompted by another’s post#i do bite my thumb though. in the general direction of mytharc for dean as a concept because well I think that’s a little silly. aside from#dean is not a blonde stance in other prompted thought post that is as far as I wade into discourse waters
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i dont think kaveh and alhaitham were romantically involved back in the akademiya. and in fact i believe that the repressed pining particularly from kaveh's part made their friendship breakup worse
#i cant elaborate Yet. but i feel it#i dont know if alhaitham was repressing it as much as he was just. silently sitting in it#anyway yeah i like it better if they have never kissed each other. have they thought about it. oh yes extensively. but it never got to that#their bond kept taking homoerotic undertones back in the day but it never quite bloomed into anything#like not even a friends w benefits situation#maybe it would have if they had less issues. but its better that it only becomes something more years later#i also have feelings about them being an established relationship in current canon. as in like. how would that come to be#i like the idea that it would just slowly happen until kaveh sits up one day and is like huh. this is like. it's like we're married.#al-haitham. are we married?#BUT i believe they need to have Conversations before that can happen. but its still possible#sighs.. kavetham on the mind today tomorrow and the day after too#my posts#kavetham#haikaveh#kaveh#alhaitham
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i really cannot emphasize enough how important it is to get yourself out of situations that make your day-to-day life miserable. quitters do win. quitters win when they leave behind something that's bringing them down and preventing them from living a happy, healthy life and go after what they really want.
personally, i know it was 100% necessary for me to quit my first job. it would not have been worth it to hold out any longer for more experience or more money or in the hopes that things would improve. it wasn't even worth it to stay as long as i did. i still carry so much negativity with me from that experience. the toxic bureaucracy is still the framework for how i imagine scenarios will go at work currently, three years later. i brace myself to be lectured at. i brace myself to be accused of things i didn't do or intentions i didn't have. it's so sad because that's not the type of environment i'm in at all right now. we have such great teamwork where i am and the leadership is very supportive. people don't look around to see who they can cast blame on, they just aim to get things done. and like... i know that, but because of the toxic experience i had before, it's so hard for me to internalize. i still haven't put it all behind me.
that's why i tell people to just get out when they're unhappy. don't stay because you feel like you have to prove something... don't stay because at one time it was what you wanted... don't stay so you don't disappoint someone else... don't tell yourself it will get better. if it feels like a dark cloud hanging over every single day of your life, it won't simply get better one day, the only solution is to get out.
"if it costs you your peace, it's too expensive." if there's anything in your life right now that you think of immediately when you read that quote, then something's wrong and you need to make a change.
#and yes something specific happened the other day#where i was like ugh i'm gonna get SCREAMED at#but today me and the two other people involved just went to playa bowls and had a good time#lol
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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