#yes its slightly toxic and no I dont care

[your-freaky-older-sis]

Very worryingly younger gf: You graduated in 2002? I wasn't even born then!

40 year old gf: C-can I...can you suck...will you blow mommy's...will-

[iheartmapi]

heyyy,

can you write alexia x reader angst if youre ok with it?

like them having a pretty harsh argument (because of what ever reason, you decide) and saying the meanest things to eachothet. Even though the argument startet soft, it ended with alexia saying stuff like: „the team is even successful without you we dont actually need you!“whilst r is trying to recover from an bad injury or „sometimes you truly are pathetic you know“ or maybe „can you shut tf up!? Is it possible seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!“ or „no wonder you failed/lost/couldnt achieve/dont/ cant do this or that etc.. (the phrases are related to reader’s insecurities) alexia ends up going for a walk but when she returns r already put alexias bed stuff on the Couch and wont let her in the bedroom. After 1-2 days of not talking and ale trying to apologize, r comes up to her ( now even more insecure) happy but fearful ending pls make it as angsty as you possibly can. i hope it’s understood cause english isnt my first language:)

(I’ll try my best!!! Also don’t worry cause you wrote it perfectly and English isn’t my first language either so I get it)

Teddy bear

(Yes I listened to Melanie Martinez’s teddy bear when writing this)

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Alexia doesn’t always watch her words, and she sure as hell doesn’t during the most intense argument the two of you had ever.

Angst with a happy-ish ending.

TW: slightly toxic, degrading thoughts about one self, crude language,

Word count: 1,925

15:00pm

The hour Alexia returned home after being away with the team for matches, she ran a hand through her blonde hair..Alexia loved her profession but it was still a very tiring one, all she was dreaming of in the moment was a nice warm bath to soothe her sore muscles and a good night’s sleep..

She dragged her feet through the front door and dropped her bags in the foyer and went ahead to the living room.

Upon entering Alexia’s eyes landed on you, you were relaxing on the couch with a random book by some bestseller author which really could be anyone, but you didn’t really care…you didn’t have much to do due to being prescribed to stay home to heal from a recent injury on the pitch. Lately you’ve been apprehensive and often worried all because of your injury and inability to play.

You looked up from your cheap book.

“Hi”

“Hey”

The exchange of words between the two of you was short and awkward, this weird tension appeared in the house and between you two before Alexia’s trip, its genesis wasn’t really clear to her..but she figured it was all a part of your hyper-sensitivity from the injury and would pass quickly anyways.

Alexia passed you and went to the kitchen to fetch herself a drink, she gulped some down, taking in the taste of being back home before returning to the living room, the silence went on, but you weren’t focused on your book anymore, though you pretended to be, secretly you were eyeing her every move, from when she walked into the living room to now as she was standing by the window looking outside.

You gulped, “Alexia?”

“Yeah?”

“Listen I-“ you rethought that “We…have something to talk about” the knots in your stomach were multiplying from stress each minute, Alexia was looking at you, the intensity of her gaze wasn’t helping you out.

“It’s about this specific..behaviour of yours” You started “I think you’re- um..I…” What were you supposed to say? You rehearsed this so many times before she came back yet now you felt as if you were on fire and your memory was gone. “I think sometimes you’re too touchy with others” you finally choked it out.

Alexia looked at you with an almost judging look “As in?” She stated sharply, “I mean like..we’re girlfriends you know? And I don’t want to forbid you from hugging others and stuff but sometimes you act so..intensely affectionate, like with Ona-“ Alexia immediately butted in “Are you being serious right now?” She belted at you “For fucks sake Y/n…you think I’m cheating on you with the whole team just because I hug them or something?” You feared this exact reaction from her “I didn’t say that…” You murmured “You kind of did though, I just got back and this is the greeting I get? Can’t you ever knock it down a notch?” She started ranting “You’re so melodramatic, as always” she scoffed.

“I’m not being melodramatic” you said, you felt weak against Alexia but you couldn’t just let her walk over you like this in this argument. “So it’s wrong of me to be afraid of my own damn girlfriend being so touchy with everyone?” You protested “It’s always like this, I’m the bad guy and you’re the victim”

Alexia took a deep breath, you swear you could detect the anger forming inside her pupils, then she opened her mouth, and yelled at you.

“Can you shut the fuck up?! Is it possible, seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!” She scowled, you opened your mouth wanting to protect yourself, or calm her down, just say anything, but hell…it’s like every word ran away from you.

“See? You can’t even form a sentence, cause you know that you’re spitting straight bullshit” Alexia rolled her eyes “Sometimes you truly are pathetic you know”

Wow. Your eyes widened and you closed your mouth, not believing the clear poison coming out of your girlfriend’s lips. “I wanted you to get over this whole injury thing, wanted to try and make you happy, but you can’t do anything besides being stingy all the time. But you know what?” She waited a minute before adding “You’re stingy even without the goddamn injury, the team is successful, even without you! I hope you know we don’t actually need you?!” tears prickled at your eyes, begging to be let out, you couldn’t handle it, and they started running down your cheeks.

“Here you go now! Crying like a fucking baby, I’m not putting up with you right now” she barked before turning from you and heading out of the living room.

You sat still in your place like you were frozen, and truly you were, by the coldness Alexia just showed you, you heard her yelling “I’m going for a walk!” Before the front door swung shut. And then it came, you started crying, the tears marching down your cheeks and reaching your neck like a furious army, maybe she was right? She always was wasn’t she? Now you regretted ever mentioning that, but you acted stupid and brought up something that didn’t matter at all, now here you were, crying all alone like a big baby.

You stood up, your legs were shaking, in fact every inch of your body was, you stumbled towards the bedroom, feeling stupid but also cheated, the closet doors opened hastily and your shaky hands reached for every piece that belonged to Alexia, you took her bags from the foyer and threw everything inside…were you in an irrational state of mind? Yeah, probably…

Now everything of hers was in the bag, you glanced at the nightstand, seeing the framed picture of you two, kissing, but you couldn’t stand to see that happy memory right now. The frame was put down so that the photo couldn’t be seen by you and then you took the bags and simply threw them onto the couch, leaving them there for Alexia to see when she gets back. Now you didn’t really know what to do with yourself, finally you slumped on the bed like a picture of misery, left alone with your thoughts only.

Alexia knew she couldn’t stay outside all day even though you irritated her to the core, she just couldn’t understand why you were being so irrational…always acting so difficult, she thought to herself, she stomped down the street, already seeing the peak of the neighbourhood the two of you lived in, dreading seeing you again.

It was kinda weird, she started thinking about it deeply, she loved you, but at the same time you were such a big pain in the ass literally everyday..if only you wanted to cooperate and listen to her more most of your arguments wouldn’t even happen in the first place, you should know that she wasn’t your property, instead of being so damn jealous and giving her your attitude.

The house keys clicked in place and turned the locks to your home, though the home was literally a quiet battlefield lately. She sighed as her feet made contact with the familiar flooring. It was quiet, you were probably sulking in some corner and just didn’t want to greet her or make up for your stupid behaviour, always acting like a child afterwards such moments in your relationship.

The shock she felt when she entered the living room and was met with the sight of her bags atop the couch was immense. For a moment Alexia just started at them in disbelief before rage filled her again, she sauntered over to the bags observing them resentfully, where the hell were you? Cause she wasn’t going to let this go.

Kitchen, bathroom, small storage, balcony, backyard, nowhere. You were nowhere, but there was one place she hadn’t checked, the bedroom. There was no fucking way you just packed her bags and left the house, so you had to be there…

Firmly, her hand grasped the handle of the door, expecting to see you inside, acting like a saint..but the moment she turned it, it didn’t open, it was locked. So you were inside! Alexia angrily turned the handle a couple times more before knocking on the door. “Y/n?” She stated loudly, her tone was very passive aggressive, no answer. Then she just went ballistic and pounded on the door “Y/n! Let me in, god damn it!” Alexia didn’t stop until she heard your much quieter and shaky voice calling to her beyond the door. “I-I’m not letting you in Alexia!” You stated, “What?!” Her brows furrowed before she groaned in fury “This relationship is a fucking joke!” And then she stormed off.

You curled on the bed, thinking about what you’ve done, was this the correct way of handling things? Hell, you wished you knew, but nothing made sense to you now.

Two days, that’s how much time has passed since that ugly argument of yours, you eventually unlocked the bedroom and went out to see Alexia’s face filled with annoyance but she tried to talk to you once she saw you, weirdly calm for the emotions that were pulsating inside her, and in fact, she was the one trying to calm things down between you two, but you felt dumb and were too much of a coward to just accept it, the tension in the ENTIRE house was poisoning…and when you didn’t budge with Alexia’s apologies you two just stopped talking to each other

The insecure thoughts took root in your brain, eventually branching into a full tree with anxious and insecure fruits hanging from its twigs. After all, Alexia was always right about you.

The whole week couldn’t just go on like this. You took the tiny pieces of courage left in you and took them to use them to apologise to her, you kinda treated her like shit..and all for nothing, you did hug your teammates too after all…teammates, friends, family, people just have different ways of showing it.

On the morning of what was supposed to be the third day you finally spoke to Alexia

“Ale…I- I’m just so fucking sorry, okay? That was so stupid of me, I dunno..I guess it was in the heat of the moment- the thing is I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I was an idiot, if you don’t want to then fine, don’t accept this shitty apology but I’m begging you..” by the end of your apology tears were streaming down your cheeks again, as lately you have been crying often when Alexia had no way of seeing you.

You could see the gears turning in her head, trying to decide whether she was going to accept or refuse, she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, you were an idiot” then she added “But I guess I’m glad you can see that now, listen I just…” the blonde sighed “Please stop pulling shit like that, sometimes you really are too sensitive” she reprimanded you softly, it felt weird listening to this harsh “truth” about yourself, even weirder knowing that those air quotes weren’t needed because it was the most pristine truth. Then Alexia looked at you with an unsure manner, “I love you too, ok?” She then said, and you nodded, after that she turned to steal a glance at the morning sky.

You sighed to yourself, appreciating the so long awaited moment of calmness.

You should remember to listen to her at all times, even if it hurt slightly.

[bitchesgetriches]

I’m sure you get a lot of asks, and it’s understandable considering how great you ladies are! I recently read your sustainability swap post (I loved it!) and I wanted to recommend something I didn’t see on there that’s incredibly important to me.

Swap out tampons and disposable pads for menstrual cups and cloth pads!! It’s an adjustment for sure (esp the menstrual cups) but it’s so good for the environment, your health, and frankly your wallet. I made the swap to a menstrual cup abt 5 years ago and haven’t had to buy tampons (minus a few early cycles until I started carrying cloth pads w me) since — and I’ve had the same cup and it’s still working great!

When it comes to the cups ItsJustKelli on YouTube has a great playlist where she reviews multiple diff products to make choosing easier (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVehiHoQpDmAQwa9UrHXF9IBzHp3cUenE). It might take some trial and error, but it is well worth the switch, considering your average cup costs abt $35 and (if taken care of) can last at least 5 years. And as far as cleaning it you really only need Castile soap, a repurposed toothbrush, hot water and a decent stainless steel pot to sterilize it in (any company you buy from has a How-To page on the cleaning aspect. They will try to sell their Special Soaps DONT LISTEN ITS A SCAM! Just buy Castile soap and toothbrush same end result!)

As for the cloth pads, there are so many websites for them, and most offer starting kits. They cost more than your average box of disposables, but rather than lasting you a few cycles they’ll last you YEARS. This website https://menstrualcupreviews.net/reusable-menstrual-cloth-pads/ has a list of them. The only brand I can recommend I got off Amazon (guilty as charged) and are great for getting started. (wegreeco Bamboo Charcoal - Reusable Sanitary Pads | Panty Liners | Soft Cloth Menstrual Pads - 6 Pack with 1 Cloth Mini Wet Bag (Medium, Luxury ) https://a.co/d/cTf4mfF)

Ultimately, when I was considering switching I weighed the pros: 1. Save money long term, 2. No longer contribute to the growing pile of blood-soaked, chemical-ridden used tampons and pads clogging landfills, 3. No longer run the risk of introducing toxic chemicals to my body via products made by companies that don’t care abt consumer health; and the cons: 1. More money upfront (which can be circumvented by shopping around and setting aside some money as is feasible), 2. Having to get more comfortable w my body (which ultimately was a positive), 3. The gross factor (downside: yeah you’ll likely see the blood, neutral: it’s your blood tho and you know where it’s coming from; neutral: w the disposable vs. cloth pads the end result isn’t that diff beyond instead of chucking it in the trash you chuck it in the washing machine), and 4. The adjustment of carrying a few cloth pads around (instead of the disposables — not that big of a change).

End note: I did not mean to turn this ask into a novel, but I am just so passionate abt this topic. So many ppl will go into the minutiae of cloth rags and cloth napkins instead of paper towels and paper napkins, the evils of plastic straws, and reusable bags instead of plastic — but not a peep abt the amount of disposable products used for 3-5 days (longer if you’re unlucky like me), every month (or every few depending on birth control, irregular cycles, etc.), every year for decades (think between 3-4 decades depending on start time and menopause) for millions of women worldwide. That’s SO MUCH. And here are two, slightly difficult but worthwhile, choices that can decrease the amount of disposable products clogging up landfills by the thousands long term. As one of the websites I linked says: “The average American woman uses nearly 17,000 tampons in her lifetime — or as many as 24,000 if she undergoes estrogen replacement therapy. And that’s just tampons.”

HELL. FUCKING. YES! Thanks so much for chiming in, baby. We love it when bitchlings share advice with the whole class, so never be afraid to write a long ask with good information.

Here's that sustainable swaps article, as well as what we've written about menstruating while poor:

21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Aren’t Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage 

Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

[kenthenugget]

I hate Spiteful Artists (RANT)

The following is a slightly retooled repost of a post I made to the Tapas Forums over a year ago, and I wanted to share it here because I feel its an important message to get across.

As artists, we all have shitty days. Sometimes we have moments where he hate our artwork and might compare ourselves to others. This is natural and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're able to calm yourself down and don't let your negative emotions control you and your way of thinking, you'll be okay. 

However, I draw the line at people who constantly bitch and moan about it, ignore any advice and lash out those they're jealous of.

I had a friend back in 2019 to mid 2021 (for the sake of simplicity, I’ll refer to him by the name ‘Jay’. Its not his real name but as he includes his name in is social media branding, I dont want people sending hate his way since I dont want anything to do with him. I would say I also wouldnt want him finding this rant which I was admittedly afraid of but at this point, I don't really care) who felt insecure about his art and would show signs of jealousy towards those he thought were better than him. And often times, the targets of Jay’s jealousy would be his friends. The first few times it happened, I refuted his negative thinking and tried to encourage him. He would calm down and be like "you're right", only for it to happen again. Eventually, this habit of getting jealous of his friends and lashing out at them would be turned over to me. Jay wanted to draw in the Disney style and didn't like his current style and thought it was, in his words, "shit". So when someone like me, who's style was closer to replicating Disney's, who was an earshot away.... you can guess where I'm going with this.

I cant count the many times he would lash out at me, or delete art I'd post in a server we were in because he felt insecure, or give me the cold shoulder out of nowhere when I wanted to share a drawing. I'm not going to sit here and say that there was nothing wrong with our friendship prior and that both of us weren't guilty (In hindsight, I realize there was a lot wrong with Jay that I, for the most part, looked over because we were friends, and which went beyond jealousy but I wont go into those details), but I can safely say that this aspect of his and the moment he turned his aggression onto me was beginning of the end of our friendship. I slowly became fed up with Jay’s behavior but I held out hoping it could get better, because I was the type of bastard who thought deep down everyone had some good in them (Note: I still do despite this situation. I just know now that sometimes, people just refuse to change). It never did, and we stopped being friends come May. In all honesty, I'm surprised I lasted that long but I should've left earlier when I had the chance.

Like I said, there were moments where he stopped this bullshit by calming down, drawing ocs and then he was back to liking his art again. But that wouldn't last for long and he'd usually be back to hating his art and lashing out people again in a few weeks or so. Sometimes days. Again, I'm not saying that jealousy isn't normal and if you get jealous your a bad person. It's a natural thing to experience it and heck I've been had bits of jealousy countless times. But you can't let it control you, that's the thing. You shouldn't let it control your way of thinking and led cloud your judgement. And you can absolutely the fuck not lash out at people because your mind told you they did you wrong for being better than your or some shit, especially to your friends! Yes, there will be times where you slip up but its on you to not let that shit happen again. That's what it means to say sorry. It's "not a get out of jail" free card! You have to actually mean it! You shouldn't expect your friends to deal with your toxic behavior, because you're eventually going to push them away. People have breaking points and no one's going to help you if you're unwilling to help yourself.

Also if you dont feel your artwork is good enough, spewing your toxic bullshit at people isnt going to help. If you want to be good at anything, you have to put in the effort and work hard at it! You wont get good by being a whiny little shit. I wasn't going to get anywhere that attitude when I was 14. I wanted to a be a good artist but I wasn't good drawing. So I spent the past 5 plus years practicing and drawing everyday and it's payed off. Sure, I'm not perfect and there are people out there who are better artists than me. But I cant let that fact detour me and neither should you. You need to have a positive mindset of wanting improve, wanting to get better at something, wanting to become stronger than you are now. No one's telling you can't do it. The only one that's telling you that you're not good and that you'll never improve is you.

And, this may sounds cold, but if you don't see any improvement despite drawing everyday and get angry about, you should just quit. If drawing art makes you so mad that you lash out at others and tell them to "fuck off" (something he actually said to me during one his episodes) when they genuinely want to help you out, why are you still drawing? Try another hobby that you're passionate about. If you're going to have this attitude about drawing, maybe you shouldn't have started drawing in the first place.

And you know what's the funny thing about all of this? Jay wasn't a bad artist. His art was a okay, not terrible nor great, but there was room for improvement. As long as he studied anatomy, perspective, flow, composition, etc, he'll be a damn good artist. He most likely wont able to draw in the Disney style but that's something he has to deal with. However, I don't think that will happen if he doesn't stop the cycle of inferiority, jealousy, and feeling better by drawing ocs, he's not going anywhere. I told him something akin to this but I don't think he listened, so I dont think he will change his ways (I could be, and I hope, Im wrong). If he doesn't get his behavior under control, its going to catch up with him in a really bad way. At some point, Jay's going to hit a brick wall and push away all of the remaining people who got fed up with his bullshit. And by that point, drawing his ocs wont save him this time.

The inspiration of this rant came from a situation that happened shortly before the tapas forum post in September 2021. I encountered someone similar to Jay on a discord server who basically had a meltdown about how much his art sucked and lashed out anyone who tried to help.  They ended up getting banned for toxic behavior and rightfully so.

I feel like I sorta went off the deep end with this discussion but I think you should take this lesson from it. If you're feeling self conscious about your artwork, don't let your insecurities take hold of you and lash out at your piers. I believe that everyone has the protentional to do be great, not just in art, but in general. But are you going to strive to be better or are you going to wallow in negativity and let that hatred turn you into a monster?

[dreamballade]

ok, i saw someone do this on tiktok and thought it looked fun so here is redacted characters and whether i think i could successfully date irl or not:

vincent: 100% yes. he’s my ideal type the loml. I LOVE HIM! 100000/10

ivan: probably…? we dont know much of him as flyboi so i cant really tell. we are both quite socially challenged though which would either be incredible or horrible. i picture him with a really beefy top half with arms good for hugging though. 8/10

ollie: no. our names are too similar. he is cute though but i am bad at board games. 4/10

david: no … i dont like vocal fry 😭 and i would just piss him off and he would be mean to me and i would get upset. we wouldnt mesh well i dont think… esp early david he was a bit toxic. 3/10

elliott: yes yes yes!!! i am super attracted to protector types i love the best friends-to-lovers trope i love how caring he is. i’ve only listened to his earlier audios so i dont know how he develops but im giving him a solid 10/10!

gavin: i think we would be better as friends but i cant give a good reason why. 5/10

asher: you know what yea!!! he’s cute fun and awesome. neither of us can answer the door tho 7/10

lasko: probably not only because neither of us would have the confidence to make a move on the other 💀 i would treat him like the babygirlest of babygirls though dont even worry about it. 6/10

damien: this man would hate me. ranked slightly higher than david because i wouldnt be as scared of him and he would be a lot funnier to antagonise. 4/10

huxley: YES. my boy!!! “dude” but in a romantic way. i would love to be around his energy i would love to spend time with him i would love to go on hikes with him. one point deducted bc i would probably feel guilty if i did anything to affect his positivity yknow..he’s TOO mentally healthy . 9/10

sam: it would never happen he is attracted to roguish dangerous badass types and i like to be in bed by 9pm. i love his character and voice though and i would love to keep him in a small room for a small amount of time. 7/10

milo: YEA BABEY!!! i like a man who understands the importance of dress socks. and a man who has a cat. and a man who speaks in that funny voice. AND I LOVE SHORT KINGS. i dont care about anything else i am attracted to him 9.5/10

vega: yes. it would be horribly toxic. yes ?/10

aaron: yes only because i think his bonus audios are hot. he’s so corporate and i am so not so its hard to imagine… i saw art of him cooking pancakes in his little red boxers he has a kind of reigen arataka appeal to him my pathetic babygirl… 7.5/10

geordi: YES! my angel my snowglobe my grain of icing sugar… i would love to hold his face in my hands and tell him that i love him. “you can never have too much garlic right” This man is my president. 10/10

guy: yes for the autism/adhd solidarity of it all . i feel like i could truly be myself around him his general personality is so attractive to me because hes so authentically annoying….although idk if i could stand smelling pizza all the time. AND he definitely snores every now and then. 9/10

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

hi hi im back again ~~ so i was thinking you know that joke/ question "would you still love me if i was a worm?" ok hear me out .... nnoitra, aizen, grimmjow, ulquiorra, kenpachi, and Szayelaporro have fun ~ ✾◕ ‿ ◕✾

I love this ask so much! I love the "will you love me if I were a worm" and I want to write so many people for it! More notes will be at the bottom. CW: Foul language, talking of gore and violence, talks of experimentation on people and OOC actions, Szayelaporro's part is leaning more into the toxic and unhealthy side of things so be warned

Nnoitra feat. Tesla

Honestly you're lucky he likes you so much had anyone else even tried to say something like that they wouldnt be living past it

Nnoitra is mean very mean and will tell right away that if you became a worm he would let you get crushed or eaten and not feel bad

If you want something slightly nice you need to get Tesla involved ask him if he would keep you safe as a worm and wait for Nnoitra to just need to one up him

Tesla plays along without any problems " Of course Y/N should you ever become a worm I will do my best to keep you safe until you go back to being you"

Nnoitra is not happy, not only because you seem so happy about that but also because it makes it seem like Nnoitra cant protect you

It takes nothing more for him to make a big deal about why HE would be the one to love you as fucking worm

Nnoitra seemed like he was in a good mood today after being gone for a few hours he came back boasting about the newest fight he'd won. As things were begining to calm down it seemed liked the perfect chance to ask the question I'd seen floating around the internet lately. " Hey Nnoitra" "Hmm" He glanced over " Would you still love me if I were a worm"? It's almost funny how fast his attention snaps to me " Are you being serious right now.... ya know what, doesnt matter if you were a worm I wouldnt have started loving you." " Nnoitraa thats mean" He scoffs " I bet Tesla would still care about me if I became a worm" I knew he could still hear me and I had to stifle my laugh at the obvious look of anger that comes over him. "Fine" He walks over wrapping his long arms around me " If you became a worm I would still love you but dont think I would just let something like that happen got it"? He's so easy sometimes~

Aizen

The most unamused look you've ever gotten from him, as long as you ask when he's in a good mood its just a huff and stare as he waits for you to explain further

Tell him why you want to know and understand that he needs a reason as to why you become a worm in the first if you want a good response say its because of Szayelaporro

If its captian Aizen you'll get a nice response anyway but blame Mayuri if you want to see a glimsp of the real him

Captain Aizen might say something along the lines of " You would never have to worry about my love for you fading I would simply find a way to help you"

Now if you involved the idea that someone did it to you no matter what side of him you know the reaction is far more agresssive

" If he's truly dumb enough to do something like be sure that I would not only get you back from that sad state I would make sure the pain he felt was worse then death" Now as a captain that might be more of a mumble but the real Aizen says it bluntly and its a soft as you can get from him

It's sometimes hard to believe that Aizen chose me to stand by his side to think someone like him could love, it still seems so odd. Maybe that's why I find it so fun to try and mess with him? " Oh lord Aizen! " Yes my love" He welcomes me immediately, opening his arms for me to sit with him upon the throne. " Would you still love me if I were a worm?" His warmth shields me from the cold of Las Noches, my arms draped on his shoulders and my body rests on his. " My what a strange question." He chuckles before placing a kiss to my forehead " No matter what happens my feeling for you will never waver you will always be My Love. Though should something like that ever happen I will stop at nothing to get you back and those who have crossed us shall suffer beyond what they thought possible" Thank you My King" Surrounded by warmth we bask in one another.

Grimmjow

Such a fast no. He laughs before putting his hand on your head and then gives a quick No

From here you have two choices one is just let it go asking again without a plan will just get you a rude answer back however if you want to wind him up just get pouty

Mention that Ichigo would be nicer to you or that it makes you sad to know he wouldnt care and watch him backtrack fast

" I'm not sayin I wouldnt care but.... Look I would never let you become a worm ok!"

He gets really huffy about it " Dont ask something so stupid okay"? he says with an arm wrapped around you

Will just brush it off after like you never brought it up and dont think to ask again because he will just ignore you

Grimmjow makes it so easy to tease him he gets red at the smallest hints of affection and all jumpy when it comes to being honest about his love for another perhaps that's why I wanted to ask. " Hey Grimmy would you love me if I were worm" Why would I" Hmm I should have gussed that well then time to up the ante" That's really mean Grimmjow so what you wouldnt care at all how crule" He scowls some " Hey thats not what I said" It kinda is" He pulls me to his side aggerssively nuzzling the top of my " Of course I would care if somethin happened to you but being a worm is just stupid alright….now dont pout like that." My lips meet his in a soft peck " Of course Grimmy~"

Ulquiorra

Gives it real thought and at first that seems nice but his answer wont be that kind....at first

A lot like with the others you almost have to coax a nicer answer unlike the others though its never that romantic with Ulquiorra but it can be nice-ish

Asking outright will get a blunt answer of " No. Should you become a worm I cant see why I would love you as such, however I will make sure you get back to your normal self"

He just wont care at first so a little push is needed if you want more then that and even then it wont be the sweetest thing but is much nicer

Once more blaming Szayelaporro is going to be your best choice here but not just in theory tell him it was a threat ( It probably was) and the answer in return is better as he becomes protective

" I would never allow him to do something like that to you but should that ever occur I will make sure you are well taken care of while he fixes it" While it might not be the most romatinc thing it is meaninful coming from him

Sometimes boredom is a person's worst enemy even more when you can't just leave to find something to do. In that quiet place however ideas can strike at any time and today that idea as many others before it involved Ulquiorra. Recently Szayelaporro had been talking about an experiment he'd been looking into and that was a wonderful place to start. " Ul-qui-or-ra'' Yes y/n" would you still love me if I were a worm." I hear the sigh before he looks at me " I would not, however I will make sure you are safe while the problem gets fixed" I should have guessed as much yet I couldn't help but want more " Well would you be upset? Or what if Szayelaporro turned me into a worm would that change anything?" Maybe it sounded desperate but is it wrong to want something more. " How silly" Silly? I mean sure the question is silly but my worries aren't. " If you must know, yes I think I would miss you. It becomes rather lonely when you're not here. However it's odd that you think I would even let that happen. You are under my care as my partner I will not allow any harm to come to you do you understand." Ulquiorra walked over to me resting his hand upon my head and if one looked closed enough you could see his lips curved in the smallest hint of a smile

Kenpachi feat Yachiru

Almost wont give you answer about it, wait a little and he will, it becomes an oddly sweet moment

Now its really easy to ask him as more often then not Kenpachi is happy to let you talk about or ask strange things since thats just you the best part is that Yachiru will join in on the fun

Though the question does throw him off he just shurgs it off to start after all this is a normal thing for you so he's not worried about giving you a staright answer

This is where Yachiru comes in. She also wants to know after all she know if she became a worm you and Kenny would keep her safe and Yachiru tells you she plans to make sure you live a good life as a worm so Kenny should tell you that too

After hearing that Kenpachi will give you an answer a very well thought out on for both you and Yachiru its going to be one the few times you get the sweetness

" I would do anything to keep ya safe Y/N no matter what or who I have to go through. If you became a worm nothing would stop me from getting ya back and making sure you're okay you got that. And Yachiru obviously I would keep ya safe till we could get you back worm or not"

With nothing else to do asking Kenpachi those odd questions in the back of my mind seemed like a good plan. Its not like he would be bothered by it so no harm done right? " Heyy Kenpachi if I were a worm would you still love me?" Nothing.... I guess it wouldnt shock me if he was napping but I was sure he should have heard me " Kenpachi answer me cmon" Again nothing he just shifted some turning his body to face my from where he was laying " You know silence is also an answer so I'll just take it as a no" I pout some turning my nose up and wait " Alright alright no need for that" His gruff voice calls out " Look at me first" For a guy as big as Kenpachi he's so quiet I hadn't even noticed he moved this close " Look I cant say I would love you if I met you AS a worm but if you ever became a worm I would stop at nothing to get you back" Even though I knew he had more to say it didnt stop me from throwing myself in his arms and all he did was laugh, pulling me in and resting me on his lap " No matter who or what I had to fight I would keep ya safe and sound with Yachiru's help and make sure you get back to being you so dont forget that " The feel of his lips on my head make me smile. Who would have thought my silly little question would get him to say so much.

Szayelaporro

Szayelaporro will laugh not in the same way Grimmjow does no this is far worse more evil and it makes you not want to ask why but thats to bad because he plans on telling you why

" Oh Sweet thing of course I wounldnt. If you became a worm its most likely that I was the reason for it."

He doesnt hold back for any reason and thus the only way to get him to be even alittle nice about it is to carry on with that conversation, to ask qustions about it

" Why you ask hahaha well its quite simple if I were willing to do something like that its because I no longer care you...However if something else where to do that to you I could fix it

He brushes by anything else you might say but expect him to be a tad more affectionate after this in a way he veiws this as you saying he hasnt been a good enough partner

Honestly he doesnt think much of it after that but its good little reminder that in some way he does care for you and this is a good way to find out just how much

It's hard to say what made me want to ask him something like this after all knowing Szayelaporro he wouldnt be happy to be asked something so childish. Maybe it was to see if he would care or maybe just because I wanted to know how far I could push him before he got sick of dealing with me, it's hard to say but that didnt stop me from asking. " Szayelaporro if I became a worm would you still love me?" He doesnt bother to stop with whatever he's doing " hahaha My sweet thing if you became a worm isnt it smarter to think I'm the one who did it" Well that doesnt answer my question" " If I did that you should know it means I dont love you, now are we done?" Of course I knew something like this would happen but it still hurts to hear in an odd way " So does that mean you love me now" I could feel the shake of my voice " I see so thats what this is about. I treat you well yes? I make sure to keep you safe from both my tests and the others that raom here, I spend my time with you and seek you out for things outside of work. This might not be love but I do care for you sweet thing" My face felt hot and I could feel the wetness slowing trailing from my eyes. I move before I think, burying my head in his chest I let myself collapse against him and to my shock he lets me, guiding me back to the couch and curling around me we sit in the silence together.

So a few things one I know most of this is so ooc and like thats to be expected but I want to say that I havent seen much on any of the Espada due to where I'm at in the anime and two I now know I love writing szayelaporro so much because I can be so mean with it but still give him some kindness towards his lover and thats fun. I hope you enjoyed thank you for waiting and HAPPY PRIDE!🌈💖 Also I'm gonna try real hard to get another thing out before June ends. - Lilly

[ssplague]

Chapter Two

A rough start we get off too

Series Masterlist

Katsuki B. X Reader

Rated M

⚠️Warnings: SMUT, improper use/depiction of certain kinks, abusive, manipulative, toxic behavior, unreal ideals of sex, use of daddy, ddlg themes, hard Dom, etc.

Let the SMUT commence

The way each pair of lips fit so perfectly together was absolutely enthralling: Passion was raw, ferocity was made so obviously evident from the growl he emitted at each attempt you made at sucking his tounge into your mouth. Only separating to take in a few large gulps of much needed oxygen, before diving back in to repeat the process over again.

“Please….P-Pleaseee…Kat..Suki…I-“ he presses a finger to your lips. That brief period of oxygen deprivation seemed to of induced a delirium of sorts. Assessing your thoughts has become similar to sifting through wet sand; Try as you might, you just can’t seem to comprehend what exactly you’d been attempting to beg him for in the first place. This look of empty headed confusion is also something Bakugou commits to memory, a first glimpse of his dumb little girl. He surveys you with bemused interest, looking as composed as ever.

“Down that bad for me hah? All I did was kiss ya a little and you’re already falling to pieces on me” the finger on your lips slides down to tilt your chin up, while he dips his head down to whisper in your ear. “Cant even imagine what kinda mess you’ll become once I finally split cha open with this big cock, such a stupid little girl”.

You suck in a deep shuddering breath as your legs suddenly give out beneath you, leaving you helplessly sliding down the wall. Bakugou laughs in such a condescending baritone as he effortlessly picks you up and deposits you on his bed. Picking his chair back up, he moves it beside the bed to take a seat in front of you.

“Listen real close to what I’m about to tell ya cause its important, open those fuckin’ ears princess cause if I end up havin’ to constantly keep repeatin’ myself…” he leaves the implicated threat hanging in the air between you two. Swallowing what remains of your now virtually non existent pride: You sit up straight and lean forward slightly, making sure to hold eye contact while he spoke. As the one sided conversation progresses and you inevitably begin to feel the need to either scoff or mouth off, you lightly bite your tounge. When the need to roll your eyes seems irresistible you make sure to blink a few times.

Bakugou and his ego always seem to have a way of destroying any sort of illusion that he is anything other than a self-righteous narcissist. Well, now he’s YOUR self-righteous narcissist…CORRECTION; You cant think like that anymore….from now on he’s….daddy.

The thought accompanies a brief pang in your metaphorical gut, is it regret? Maybe guilt? You aren’t sure.

“-Last ones, your still paying attention right princess?”.

Hearing his question has your eyes immediately snapping back into focus. You take in the handsome (but grumpy) face in front of you, nervously wondering when exactly he’d invaded your personal space.

“Y-Yes daddy, I’m listening to you” you stutter slightly, now noticing he’s actually kneeling on the mattress with you.

“So every day I expect you to do your absolute best” now with each statement he leans further into you, “You’re always going to remember how much daddy cares about you”. He presses a large hand against your chest, forcing your back down against the pillows behind you. “Realize that daddy always knows what’s best for you” both hands now rest on either side of you, effectively caging you in.

“You’ll always know that you can rely on daddy, and will trust him one hundred percent of the time”.

The intensity of his crimson stare has your face burning up, and heart rapidly pounding in your chest. It’s now taking a serious amount of conscious effort to keep your eyes locked with his. “Any questions? Comments?…..concerns?” he puts an emphasis on that last word, wolffish grin firmly in place.

Shaking your head apparently wasn’t a good enough answer because its followed with a stern; “Use your words princess, you either say: Yes daddy or No daddy….understood?”.

“I understand daddy….I’ll follow your rules daddy” you reply, embarrassment evident at having to repeat the unfamiliar word.

“You sure? It’s not like you to have absolutely nothing to say” he’s testing you, you’ll play into it this time.

“Well if you insist…..I do have a question, just one” at this his eyes instantly narrow and you could have sworn you’d seen a few stray sparks emit from his palms.

“Would it be too much to ask daddy if he wouldn’t mind kissing me again?”

🌆

Euphie checks her phone for the eigth time since she’d last texted you over forty-five minutes ago. Why weren’t you responding? Maybe she really had pushed you too far this time….A large hand comes to rest over her much smaller one, at this she finally sets her phone facedown on the table with a sigh.

“She wont stay angry with you forever, her and Bakubro might be having such a good time together that she’s forgotten all about her phone” Kirishima tries his best to reassure with his usual smile. The sudden wide eyed, dead pan stare he gets in return whipes that smile from his now reddening face. He’s realized far too late at what his words seem to of implied.

“I didn’t mean it like that! Really! I promise I didn’t! M’sorry”. Seeing the red head this flustered is so adorable, his companion cant help but giggle.

“I know Eji, dont worry about it”.

Entrusting your care to Bakugou was fine: He cares about you almost as much as she herself does. If she wasn’t certain how genuine the boy’s feelings toward you were, none of this would ever have happened.

Yeah, everything is going to be just fine….You’ll thank her one day.

💥

Bakugou’s crimson gaze is way too intense while roaming over the female laying down on his bed. Having her completely bare, and spread out before him is an accomplishment he shamelessly contragulates himself for. She’s getting self conscious now: Delicate hands come up to cover her chest, and plush thighs press together in an attempt to hide the drooling mess kept between them. It’s all or naught though as her legs are suddenly wrenched apart, and each wrist is now pinned above her head, held in just a single one of his hands.

“Nu-uh princess, no hiding….keep those legs open…wanna see all of you” condescending words only seem to widen his feral grin.

Seeing his cock now freed from its previously strained confinements as its looms above you, standing tall, has your leaky little hole twitching. The smooth inner walls inside repeatedly clenching in anticipation. Bakugou trails a finger from clit to slit as he hums in approval.

“What’s this hah? Such a fuckin’ mess your makin’ down here”

“S-Sorry daddy…I cant help it…Just want you so bad…dont wanna wait any longer…Please dont make me wait more” a soft roll of your hips accompanies your pleading whines. Your continuous begging for his cock has that monster stirring in him again, he has to forcibly push the dark thoughts away before addressing you again.

“If I dont prep you then-“ you interrupt him.

“It’s fine! I can take it, please just take me…” he notices your moment of hesitation before you lock eyes with him while adding “make it hurt”.

You’re just so fucking bold!

Trying to make demands, disguised as requests! Its so cute he cant help but caress your cheek before bestowing upon you the last gentle kiss you’ll get until he’s throughly DESTROYED you for anyone else.

“Dont ever fucking tell me what to do again” he growls before slamming his hips forward.

He’s buried balls deep inside you: Your initial gasp at the sudden intrusion, now morphs into a silent scream that has a you arching up off the mattress.

“Got that you greedy little slut? See what happens?” He taunts through gritted teeth.

Your cunt squeezing and spasming around his cock feels incredible, to the point he has to busy himself with sucking harshly on your neck to keep from releasing desperate whimpers of his own.

“I can take it…please move….m’sorry daddy…please don’ be mad a’me….”

“M’not mad at you baby….s’okay” He manages to reassure you through his clenched jaw. He finally starts to move inside of you, desperately trying so hard to take it easy on you. All precedent falls apart when your legs wrap around his waist, now he’s digging you out.

“Y’okay?” He rasps while continuously ravaging your tight cunt.

“M-mm-more than okay” you stutter.

“Taking my cock so well baby girl….Fucking hell!” His lewd compliment causing your insides to involuntarily clench.

“Deeper! Deeper!” You plead.

Katsuki thought you’d preferred his shallow thrusts, but if you really wanted your guts rearranged he’d be pleased to make it happen. He grabs one of your legs, placing it up on his broad shoulder, while the other remains curled around his hip. Straightening up he smirks down at you, before delivering a harsh slap to your clit. Now beginning to rapidly piston his hips while taunting you: “What did I tell you earlier hah? Answer me dammit!”.

His hot hand comes down on your inner thigh and you cry out: “N-Not supposed t-to tell y-you what to d-do!”. It shouldn’t be possible for you to be squeezing him even tighter, but somehow you do. That can mean only one thing… “Gonna cum aren’t you princess? I can feel ya choking the life outta my cock”.

A pathetic whine accompanies your vigorous head nods and he growls in response: “You.better.fucking.not” a thrust accompanying each word, “Y’dont fuckin’ listen, shouldn’t let ya cum at all with how you keep misbehavin’, better start fuckin’ beggin”.

Horrified at the thought, you fight through the fog permeating your brain and force movement out of your lolling tounge.

“P-please daddy, I’ll b-be good from now on if y-you’ll just let me c-cum! Y-you’re just making me feel so good daddy, no one’s ever made me feel this i-incredible before” your panting breaths making it too difficult to continue speaking. Even if he doesn’t believe it, your words are entirely true, this is the first time you can ever recall feeling like this during sex. A foreign sensation is making its way into your gut, your limbs are moving of their own accord, you cant think straight when you manage to speak next: “Its too much! Too big, Too deep, Too intense! I c-cant take anymore please make it stop!”.

“Stop? Oh fuck no princess, after all this lip you’ve been giving me, you think I’m gonna let you tap out like a little bitch? Think again” his thumb begins to rub harsh circles against your clit. “We’re not stopping until you cream all over my cock like a nasty girl like you is supposed to, then you’re gonna do it again when I blow my load inside this tight fucking cunt and you’ll scream my name while I fucking do it because this pussy is all mine! Got all that you fucking whore?”.

“Yes daddy” you whimper, face screwed up in tight concentration as he finally pushes you over the edge. Your eyes fly open as you blindly search for his hand, gripping it tightly in attempts to anchor yourself in reality as a sudden rush of dopamine floods your brain. White hot pleasure seemingly overwhelming every single nerve in your body, making your legs shiver as you faintly hear yourself calling out his name repeatedly. Katsuki is the only thing you know in this strange foreign place: This comforting warmth suddenly invades your tummy, continuously being pumped inside you while you moan at the newfound sensation.

A pair of strong arms wind themselves around you, pulling you closer, making you feel safe, at ease, loved?

“Come…back…..come back to me” he’s calling for you. Your soul had to of vacated your body; You feel Weightless, you’re floating, “Daddy?”. Suddenly you start sinking, and without warning your body jolts, “Katsuki?!”.

“M’right here princess, daddy’s got you….Disappeared on me for a lil while” his familiar voice is grounding. His fingers card gently through your hair, and for the very first time you’re seeing a “Soft” side to this so easily angered man. Sighing contentedly you snuggle into his chest, letting his caramel scented sweat overwhelm your senses.

“I really like this”

“Hah?! That’s all you have to say?!”

Ah there he goes, moment ruined, illusion shattered.

“I’m sorry. But I’m not entirely coherent just yet…you uh…you kinda did a number on me there” you mutter sheepishly, making an attempt to escape his embrace. Its immediately thwarted, and your pulled right back against his chest. “Ah fuck…knew I shoulda just made you wait and prepped you properly….Sorry about that, guess I just got caught up in everything”. Surely hell has frozen over: Katsuki Bakugou just not only admitted a possible wrong doing, but APOLGIZED for it as well!

“Ive wanted to do this with you for so long: Fuck you, hold you, be with you, and I fucked it up! Just like I always seem to fucking do, I-“

“Daddy” your voice effectively silences his self-depreciating rant. His hand begins to gently run up and down your back as he mumbles a “Yes princess?”.

You lean back slightly, tilting your head up so those cute doe eyes can stare up into his, the smile your wearing makes his chest tighten.

“M’not hurt, sore but not damaged….I wasn’t referring to my body, I meant you did a number on my mind…Besides I asked for it remember? I’ve wanted this for a long time too, so I got impatient…Please dont berate yourself, lets just enjoy this moment as the first of many now…Kay?”.

That’s right, you’re his now; Along with the opportunity to care for and make sure to correct you…he’ll be able to do this with you again. You had given yourself to him after all, so he can have you as many times as he wants, whenever he wants! He’s far too occupied with his lewd thoughts to care about the foreboding darkness thats begun to emerge from its confines within his skull.

You don’t remember falling asleep but Katsuki gently prods you awake: “Baby…wake up, Its dinner time…I made food for us…c’mon princess you need to eat”.

You whine, attempting to burrow further beneath the blankets, “Not hungryyyy...wanna sleep more!”.

“Dont make daddy ask you again, you wont like what happens”.

Not interested in ruining such a wonderful night, you begrudgingly sit up. Noticing he’s seated at his desk, with a large steaming bowl set infront of him. You slide out of bed, standing up and realizing you’re naked, but strangely not embarrassed by it.

“Here” he tosses you a shirt, “Now c’mere, hurry up before it gets cold!”. Pulling his shirt over your head as you pad over to him and take a seat on his lap. Noticing the single spoon and bowl has you looking at him with genuine curiosity. “Since you like actin like a damn baby so much, figured I’d continue treatin’ you like one” his words make you grin sheepishly again, and you hold out your hand expectantly waiting for him to hand you the spoon….he doesn’t.

Taking an impressive spoonful of the steaming food he then proceeds to blow on it before bringing it up to your lips.

“Say ahh, brat”.

“Wha-?”

Taking advantage of the opportunity, he shoves the spoon into your open mouth. Of course it tastes amazing, but he doesn’t plan on keeping this up right? WRONG!

Repeating the pattern of giving you a bite and then taking one himself.

“I can feed myself y’know…” you mutter growing increasingly flustered at the insulting action but more so the fact that its making you feel….excited?

“I dont think you can princess….I always hear Euphie bitchin at ya for skipping breakfast or to hurry up and come eat dinner” pausing to feed himself, then repositioning the now loaded spoon back infront of you before continuing.

“That shit ends today, gonna teach ya how important it is to take care of yourself, and if you wont? Then I guess daddy will have to do it for ya”.

You’re squirming in his lap by the time you accept the last bite,swallowing thickly before making an attempt at vaulting off his lap. Large hands immediately snag you around the middle before your feet even touch the ground.

“No, No, thats not how we do things around here, where the fuck are your manners?” he slips a hand between your clenched thighs to move them apart, and then brings a slap down to the inside of each. You dont even know why he’d done that and the shock is evident on your face. “You like when I baby ya, dont lie to me LITTLE girl”.

“No I-“

“What’s this then?” he quickly interupts while holding up the palm he’d previously slapped you with. Glimmering in the low light is your sticky arousal coating his palm.

“Sorry” your voice is barely audible as you hang your head in shame.

“Mhm sure you are…Here I am being a good care taker to you and what did you do? Sat there thinking all kinds of nasty things while I spoon feed you, you really are a fuckin depraved slut aren’t you princess?”

You bite your lip as your eyes start to water,still refusing to look up and far too embarrassed to respond. A finger beneath your chin forces your head up and his breath hitches when he notices tears getting ready to fall. A malicious smile now turns his lips upward as he cups your cheek, “Look at that…shes about to start crying and all because of what? Cuz you just exposed yourself for being the depraved little slut you are?”.

“NO! No im not I-“.

“You are” his grip tightens painfully on your jaw, pulling your face forward so its now just an inch away from his own, “And I fuckin’ love it”. Then he’s surging forward pressing his lips against yours; Forcing his tongue into your mouth, hand coming around to grip the back of your head. Your lungs are on fire while his hand slips under your shirt to harshly grope at your chest. Clawing his forearms is finally enough to get his attention and he reluctantly pulls away. You’ve just barely began catching your breath when he suddenly stands up, keeping a firm grip on your ass to carry you, before dropping you onto the bed.

“Take that off and-“

*knock knock knock*

The sudden knocking followed abruptly by Kirishima’s muffled shouting, startles both you and Katsuki, and the rattling door knob has you immediately springing into action.

“Hey we brought back desert to share with you guys! So just meet us at my room whenever you feel like it, Euphie’s changing her clothes and then she’ll be there too, we’re gonna watch a movie if you two wanna join us!”.

He must have heard Bakugou’s standard non-committal grunt in response, because you hear his retreating footsteps trail off down the hall.

Grabbing your skirt out from underneath the bed, you stand back up.

Just as you’d gotten to your feet your immediately pushed face first onto the mattress. A sweaty hand takes hold of your hip in a bruising grip, while the other delivers a sharp pinch to your ass cheek. Yelping in response to the sudden harsh yank of your hair that proceeds a whisper of:

“You didn’t really think I would let you off that easy did you? Your fuckin’ cake can wait brat, we’re done when I fuckin say we are, got it?”.

✨

A/N: I hope this chapter was to everyone’s liking, I’m actually kind of nervous to post it but 🤷🏼‍♀️ Chapter 3 has a fair amount of smut in it as well so look forward to that. I’m hoping to get another one shot up for “A man of his word” this week, if you like extreme Yandere Bakugou check that out. I have one penned but it needs to be typed up.

[bioodorange]

||How I See The Pastas||

© @frozensriracha, for some help with visuals!!

This was originally supposed to be how they looked but I decided to go for mental aspect and explain why as well PLEASE like, reblog and share your thoughts on this in the comments or inbox

Below the desciptions are images i’ve compiled and some art (if you know the creator please tell me so i can credit them) for a visual

dont forget to like reblog and share your thoughts with me, I spent a few days on this so i’d appreciate this

Jeff the Killer

So lets start with the obvious- jeffs pasty white toothpaste lookin skin

But realistically he wouldn’t be completely covered in scars

It would be blotchy, with pink fleshy patches among the burns

He most likely has contracture scars, third degree burns that turn the skin a pale white and tighten the skin

This explains his gaunt features and skin color

Now we have to take into account the vodka that was splashed on him, he’d probably have worse burns there with exposed flesh and damaged nerves

This would result in gnarly exposed skin, a damaged scalp and maybe damage to his teeth and eyes

Realistically, Jeff wouldnt have burned off his eyelids that alone would have resulted in blindness and death

Than his smile, his signatuure mark would probably be more of a gangly bloody scar mess

Pastas heal faster and aren’t really human, he’d have to recut his smile pretty frequently making it pretty jacket up because ltes be honest hes far from clean

ANd than his hait being chard black is very unlikely because as nasty as he is he s h o w e r s

not very frequnetly given his living situation and untreated burns but people can figure out how to wash hait and not much else

also i think its funny he’d shower with a plastic bag on his face to avoid getting soap in his nasty infected scars-

His hair would probably be dry and cut unevenly, more of a dark brown color with blonde undertones

Not to mention his burned scalp, hair probably wouldn’t grow there so he’d have a cool unintentional side shave

Jeff would also be a tall individual, he cant really eat, snacking on things from his victims homes giving him a more skeletal build

His personality and mindest is about as pretty as his face- but he most likely has a very screwed up headspace

Lacking in self care, maturity and sanity its fair to say he’d be a brash and violent person

Fun Fact: While researching this I learned that some versions of the joker had facial scars in the shape of a smile

Ticci Toby

So tobys age, unlike a lot of pastas, is pretty well agreed on, 19

So unlike when he was first a proxy toby most likely has stronger facial features and facial hair

Because shaving and hygiene isn’t first priority for pastas (gross-)

He stands around 5′7 and has grayish skin

Toby i feel is picky about foods, not only is it hard for him to eat its hard for him to keep food down

He’s malnourished explaining his thin figure and grayish skin

His hait is dark brown and a curlish mess, unkempt but short so it doesn’t get in his way

I’ve always seen him with a small gap in his teeth, because I can

And since toby can’t feel shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to eat rocks simply because he fuckin could

So some chipped teeth that are a bit uneven

Along with his CIPA and not eating enough Toby would bruise easily and have lots of scars, from things like cutting his finger on accident or getting mauled by a racoon

I wouldn’t be surpised if some of his joints were a bit screwed up, because whenever theyd beak or fracture he wouldn’t notice, this would probably happen a lot causing them to not heal correctly

One of tobys habits is nailbiting but he cant te;; when too far is too far

His fingers may be abit odd looking, knobby and discolored nails because of how exetreme his habit is

Would most likely have bandages around his fingers frequently to prevent the habit

So theres a lot of debate about tobys cheek was it the CIPA or the car accident, I beileve the accident because his other cheek is completely fine, theres damage from the OUTSIDE to inside and considering his sister died in the accident its unlikely he survived unscathed

Fun Fact: only a small handful of people have ever been diagnosed with CIPA, less than 500 (documented) cases around the world

Bloody Painter

So Helen is often seen as quiet emo painter boy 

but uh no <3

Personaly i beileve he suffers from narcisistic personality disorder, exetreme importance and that he is always victorious and gets what he wants

This sporuts from the constant heavy invalidation from classmates, toxic friends and neglect from his parents

He doesn’t hang out with people because he doesn’’t lie them its because they never let him in the past and he beileves he’s better than them

But this also links to deep rooted insecurity and social anxiety/being inept completely

Him being nice is basically so you like him, he wants validation amd admiration not love

Unlike the other pastas he’d be a more clean well kept one a helthy figure and some tattoos bevause he can

I beileve he lives in socity, finding hus victims in girls and men alike who fall for his charm

he uses hhis skill and ordinary appearance to blend in on the streets

From his behavior helen most likely keeps his hair a bit shorter and clean

He always looks his best

Has chapped, and picked at lips because of his anxieties

Aswell as his breakdowns- his identity is completely in his head, he is very unsure of who he is and takes the delusions in his mind as reality

Unrelated but paino fingers-

And finally in order for his art to be as perfect and amazing as him, he has to be apart of it

Thus using his own blood in his pieces and the body parts of those he admires

Covers his scars with clean bandgaes

But his paintings turn brown and dry out, he’s always in need of a new medium

Is most likely anemic from all the blood he looses and has a paler skintone

Clockwork

ahh yes finally someone who knows what self care is-

helen, i love you buddy but you need to stop 

But anyway natalie has a stronger, athletic build

She often chases her victims and gets in altercations, relying on strength most  of the time

on that same note, this would defintelty cause many scars on natalie

Wether it was a bite mark or scars from a kitchen knife, shes got lots of scars

A few even on her face

Now, for the clock in her eye that thing is like holding her skull together at this point, realistically

She is probably delicate and cares for it becaise 1) it hurts 2) if it gets screwed up that could cause a lot of problems

natalie would be a smart person, I wouldn’t be surprused if she had a few other stray stitches or bandgaes wrapped around a fresh wound

For more visual-ish things uh m u l l e t (credit: @cum-looking-sock-mf in a chat like 4 months ago)

She has one, fight me on it

but also thick and curlish hair so I also riase you

Undershave

just y e s

I can also see her getting tattoos over certain scars on her arm, just to make them look not so ugly

I feel like clockwork wishes things worked out better

Wishes for another chance but knows she’ll never get one

Thus her taking goof care of herself

Natalie throws herseld into her “work”, keeping her body in shape and killing people

Its a way to avoid her life and that it is- a huge, sad mess

Shes an outgoing impulsive individual, confident but questions her actions

She’s also unstable- protective and loyal but explosive and strong 

Jane the Killer

Jane is the final one, im sorry I couldn’t do more theres a photo limit and I wanna bash my head into the wall

Now a main different between her and jeff is she had surgery and lie treatment

Janes skin is still greatly scarred but it is greatly healed

She takes care of it and had skin grafts

Her face is disfigured, a scarred smile and burns around

But unlike Jeff she doesn’t recarve the cut so its a cleaner line and a lot healthier

Janes hair took a rather long time to grow back, but it did! 

She has a slightly long pixie cut a bit choppy but she doesn’t mind

Her wife definetely cuts it for her and you can fight me over that

I can see Jane having a lot of facial trauma, scars around her nose and cheeks

She was young when she started killing and went for the over the person, pin them down kill which didn’t work out

She switched to a silenced pistol after awhile, you know like a smart person

Janes arms and legs are in alright condition where most of the burn trauma is on her back

She has a leaner but healthy figure but like boobs-

Like clockwork and Helen she takes care of herself

She doesn’t kill as frequently, going after a few of jeffs victims before him and is of course, actively hunting him down

Her eyes are a pale green and she wears makeip to fill in her eyebrows because those bitches take a long time to grow back

fun fact: jeff has no eyebrows, fight me

[2021fuckitup]

“ WE GET HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS”

Helpful hints for newborn to old fuckers...

Why A Torch Lighter Is Ideal:-Your product liquifies, then smokes, almost instantly

-It is MUCH easier to control the direction the meth flows, as well as what is receiving heat

-You can get MUCH bigger hits

-You can avoid burning it so much easier than with other flames

-No flickering flame

-Butane refills are cheap as fucking shit (I got a hairspray-sized bottle of Zippo butane for the price of 2 disposable lighters)

-Don’t burn your thumb as much

-Sessions can be initiated and/or finished faster

Downsides-If you don’t pay attention, you can burn the shit out of your product, or yourself. BE CAREFUL, PAY ATTENTION, AND BE PATIENT

-Smoke through your stash quicker

-Possibly worse burns because its hotter than a bic

How to smoke meth with torch lighter for beginners:

1)First ensure that your pipe is clean.

Why?

For the ice to smoke properly. DO NOT load fresh product in a pipe with product that has been smoked, burned, or otherwise heated. If you load fresh on top of a still smokable bowl, the new and old will melt/smoke at different speeds/temperatures (can’t remember which is which right now, but I think old smokes faster), ensuing that it is very difficult to evenly heat the product. Then you get spots where part of the crystalized mass liquifies and will move with the flame, but some of it needs more heat, and for me at least, some always gets burned or darkened, and has a bad taste. If you load fresh product in a pipe with burnt shit in there, IT WILL TASTE LIKE SHIT. It will often also not melt/smoke right, AND your new stuff will taste like burnt stuff, which is THE WORST taste in the world (IM0). (FYI-I’ve heard that blowing cigarette smoke through a oil pipe (like you were going to hit it, but exhaling smoke through it instead) removes the taste. I have tried with pot smoke and it didn’t work, but have read many people say that cigarettes work.

How to Clean the Inside of A Pipe-If it is not clean, a very easy method is to fill a microwavable container (like a coffee mug) with 50% water, 50% bleach, and put the pipe (bowl facing downwards) in the water.

-Put it in the microwave for 4 minutes (yes, seriously that long-I tried after 1, 2, and 3 minutes and it didn’t work. May even take 5.)

-Let cool. Once cooled, remove from mug and drain all water.

-Using Q-tips, insert through carb hole and “mop up” the stuff left in the bowl. This may take several qtips depending on the bowl. If there is still black/brown stuff in the bowl, apply more pressure

(be careful not to break the bowl by pressing the q tip too hard on the sphere, OR accidentally pressing on the side of the carb when trying to reach around inside with q tip.) If there is still stuff in there, I have read that small bits of Magic Eraser stuffed in, and manipulated with a pole (like a q tip) work wonders, but also have not tried.

How to Clean the Outside of a PiPE

-Using a wet rag, or balled-up wet paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc, rub the outside of the bowl. This should cause the stuff on the outside to transfer onto the paper.

-If this doesn’t work, steel wool may work.

Handling/Prepping Product

-Dont handle meth by hand. It’s bad for your skin, and little amounts will dissolve. Instead, use:

Ideally: a 7/11 straw (this is a straw whose last inch or so is a scoop, sometimes used for slurpees or w/e those frozen drinks are; these straws I have found to be ideal for handling all sorts of drugs).

Realistically: Normal Straw: Straw been sealed on one end (tape, seal it with flame), and on the other has a 45 degree angle (45 degree is diagonal; if you cut a square in half diagonally, the diagonal line is 45). This allows you to scoop small fragments out of a bag, tin, or other carrying device easily, as the angled mouth scoops up crumbs, especially in corners of bags; while the sealed back prevents any from accidentally spilling.

Size/Shape

-Make sure your product is all of the same consistency. I find it best to use one crystal, preferably large (but not to large). I find the size of a tic tac, or slightly larger, to be ideal. Also, cubic or rectangular is best possible shape IME. I will often break long, skinny crystals because they dont burn as well as more square ones, and broken into small squares, they will smoke more evenly.

-While you can load bigger crystals with smaller bits/shake, I generally find it is best to load similar sized rocks. That is, load all shake, load two or three crystals of equal size, or put one crystal in there (usually a big one).

-If you need to break a crystal into smaller bits to make equal sized crystals (or to make odd shaped crystal more square), place a sanitary, nonabsorbent material on top of/around the crystal (no dollars bills here, printer paper works great.) and either snap it in two, or push against a surface. If pressing, you can use a finger, debit card, whatever, just slowly apply more pressure so you can crush to consistency of your liking. If you crush it all the way, you have shake(aka powder).

Differences Between Methods

Single Crystal (often large): Crystal will slowly lose mass as it melts, evenly becoming a pool (as long as you thoroughly spread it around the bowl).

Multiple Little Ones: If you evenly heat them: Will slowly melt into each other. Will be left with a very spread-out puddle, possibly multiple spread out ones.

If unevenly heated: There will be areas meth of varying thickness, accompanied by uneven melting and probable darkening/burning,.

Shake: Will liquify very quickly; little bits that haven’t yet been heated may go to weird parts of the bowl when you begin twisting, so you end up with tiny blotches and a single large or a few smaller puddles.

Loading Product

-Using straw, scoop your product into the chamber. Keeping upright, grab oil pipe and tilt at an angle so that the carb is pointing sideways, or angled down slightly. This will allow you to insert straw opening into carb before tipping the straw, ensuring you don’t miss the hole and lose any.

-Once inserted, twist pipe (while holding onto straw of course) until carb is once again pointing up. Tap straw to get all the little bits into the pipe (if meth is still sticking, use a scraper of some kind).

-Remove straw, and put pipe on level surface, BETWEEN TWO OBJECTS. THE PIPE WILL ROLL PEOPLE, AND WILL SPILL ALL YOUR GODDAMN PRODUCT AND/OR FALL ON THE FLOOR AND BREAK. UGH!

Now that you have a loaded pipe, ensure that you are ready to begin. Suggestions include

-Water

(lots of it!!) Both meth and smoking dehydrate you, and the more dehydrated you are, the more you will suffer from dental damage and brain damage (neurotoxicity). A large amount of methamphetamine neurotoxicity (and most dopamine toxicity) is temperature-dependent, as it often induces hyperthermia (This is similar to MDMA, aka XTC, Molly, rolls, etc). Water cools your body.

You should be urinating with irritating frequency, and should be voiding clear urine, otherwise you are already dehydrated (unless taking assloads of vitamins or something).

-Music

I can’t even describe how much music enhances the experience of smoking meth. It synergizes well-the meth makes the music sound insane, and in turn the music intensifies the high, making me feel even more intelligent/strong/attractive/cool/special. This is the part of the high I crave, and it rarely occurs (at least with the intensity I like) without music.

-Spare lighter/butane refill

When smoking meth, you are always running out of fuel. The spare lighter is also useful because lighters get really hot when ignited for long periods of time (like when smoking meth) and you can swap them out.

-Wet (but not sopping) rag or bundled tissues/paper towels/toilet paper/etc

This is to set the pipe on when not using it (a hot pipe will burn fabrics, fucking up whatever its on as well as the pipe), and to cool down the pipe after a hit. The pipe stays hot for a while, and if you don’t hit it, drugs are being lost/wasted. If you cool the pipe, it will stop heating the drugs faster (duh). Do not do this immediately after getting the pipe really hot-heat and cold on glass can break it. Wait for it to cool slightly, then use it.

When you use the rag to cool underneath liquified dope, it will emit a lot of smoke while crystalizing I read somewhere that the meth actually vaporizes/produces smoke when it hits cooler surface, but I don’t know the validity of that. I do know that cold makes it smoke more though.

-Salt Water

Swishing and gargling salt water while smoking meth (ie after a hit, and definitely after a session) will help prevent canker sores, help kill bacteria (which will inhibit meth mouth) clear mucus in back of throat (which will build up from smoking ice, and may possibly absorb some of it), and prevent sore throat. Its really easy-just add table salt to water (not too much). Some people say to use hot water, but there is more bacteria in hot water pipes, so I use cold.

-Biotene Products

These are oral healthcare products designed to combat dry mouth. There is an oral gel that you kind of spread in your mouth and coats it to act like a artificial saliva. It tastes kinda bad (not awful) and feels weird, but it beats dry/cracking skin, and is good for oral health. They also make alcohol-free (alcohol makes dry mouth worse) mouthwash that I find makes me produce a bnch of saliva for like 10-30 minutes, which can be helpful. They have toothpaste, but that is only to not irritate dry mouth. Finally, they have oral mouthspray, which is apparently the best, but I have not tried yet.

-Weed

Weed makes meth smoking more fun I find. Its hard to describe. Go slow as you may have negative anxiety reaction

Positioning:

The pipe will need to be twisted back and forth, so for me, I hold it in the middle of the stem between my middle finger and thumb. This allows me to easily roll the pipe back and forth. The carb is facing the sky/ceiling, and I have the pipe slanted, so the bowl is slightly closer to the floor than the mouthpiece. This allows me to put my index finger over the mouthpiece. so that when I first heat up the bowl all the initial smoke (that you will not yet inhale because it is not super thick and you want to build up a good hit) goes up the stem and is trapped by my finger rather than out through the little carb hole (which it will do when the stem is filled with smoke). Finally, it also allows me to use my pinky to cover the carb (I rarely do this because often the carb is hot).

Lighter

[Torch] Lighter is held in the other hand, underneath the dope in the bowl. Adjust your flame to lowest setting (if you can). While initially hitting the bowl, since your mouth is not on the mouthpiece, you can hold the pipe in front of you while you heat to gaug distance between flame and bowl, and make sure the flame is under the drugs. However, once you begin inhaling, you have a much worse view (through the bowl), and it is easy to hold the lighter too close (or far, but usually close), or to have it not even under the bowl. Due to poor depth perception (which I assume is from the drugs), or some visual warping from the curvature of the glass, its really easy to do this, and happens a lot. A mirror is helpful so you can see yourself. Another option is attaching flexible tubing (like aquarium tubing) to the mouthpiece so you can inhale through that while holding the pipe in front of you. This will also enable you to make meth bongs (search it).

Philosophy of Smoking Meth

Meth becomes a clear liquid when heated, then vaporizes into a white smoke. The idea is to heat whatever you placei n the pipe evenly so that it all melts down to liquid, then, by twisting the pipe, spread the liquid all around the bowl, so that it doesn’t stay in a hot place for too long and burn. Once liquified, the pipe can be twisted. This allows you to put your flame ahead of the liquid (think of the liquid chasing the flame), so that once the glass is heated, it will fall/roll down the curve towards your lighter and smoke. As you get close carb, you begin to twist the other way, keeping the liquid following your flame. However, with a torch lighter, you can soon twist the pipe without the flame and the liquid will still run for a while, and when it doesn’t is when you reapply the flame.

Quick Info On Torch Lighters

Torch lighters are very hot, much hotter than bics. Their flame is much more intense, and the heat above is much hotter than a bic. Therefore, you must keep much more distance between your lighter and pipe than with a bic. It will vary according to lighter type, pipe thickness, and especially flame size; but my flame is maybe between 1/3 and ½ of an inch, and my lighter stays 1-3 inches away from the pipe; with me increasing distance the longer its lit.

-Also, you do not heat the bowl with a torch lighter for long periods of time like you do a bic. Once it begins to smoke, quit using the lighter, and only reapply once the liquid quits moving when you twist the pipe. Also, be sure to twist pipe while lighting the whole time with a torch lighter, even if it is slowly. You cannot really get away with heating in one spot for a short period of time like you can with a bic.

Smoking

Premelt:

-Keeping your flame 1-2 inches below the bowl, roll flame in a circle around the perimeter of your product, so the outermost portion begins to liquify. Remember to continue moving the flame.

-As it begins to liquify, begin twisting the pipe back and forth. You want to heat the edges of the product and then the glass adjacent to the edges to make it flow there. However, when reversing the direction of the twist, make sure to heat the inside/middle for a moment as well so that it will melt once the dope bordering it has melted.

-Eventually you will have a puddle of liquid that is mobile-stop heating! COntinue to twist the pipe to spread the stuff around and wait for it to recrystalize (turn back into a liquid). You can speed this up by touching pipe with damp rag/paper towels/etc, but I like to let it cool by itself the first time. Wait for the pipe to cool down-its worth it.

Smoking

(this is assuming you are covering the mouthpiece and have the pipe angled like I mentioned in positioning)

-Now you should have a thin puddle of clear crystals stuff. Once again, heat with flame around the perimeter (much bigger this time, but it will also melt faster now because its thinner). Once melted, it should soon begin to smoke. Cease lighting once it begins smoking a fair bit and continue to twist.

-Because you have your finger over the mouthpiece and the pipe angled, the hot vapor will travel up the stem, and be trapped. Once vapor begins to emerge out of the carb hole, quickly take your finger off the stem and begin inhaling (do this quick because the stem is filled with vapor).

To Inhale:

You do not need to actually suck most of the time. With the pipe angled, simply forming a seal on the mouthpiece is usually enough, and if you have to inhale, do not suck like smoking. Instead, inhale like you are breathing but VERY slowly/softly. It takes very little pressure and the bigger hit you get, the better IMO.

Reheating

Use the torch for very brief periods of time. Once the liquid is moving and smoking agian, stop. You can also use more, but never use less once its burned.

Finishing your hit:

If your lungs are full and it is still smoking, cover the carb and mouthpiece and continue twisting. I like to hold my hits for 4-8 seconds, some say blow out right away, but I dont like that. You can also use a damp rag or damp paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc and wipe the bowl, to cool it down and make the liquid recrystalize faster (dont do this when the bowl is still super hot because it can break it). This will make it smoke a lot for a second so I like to do it while inhaling.

For Experienced Users:I have found the torch lighter to be far superior to the bic. With the bic, I would experience uneven and slow heating/melting. Now, I have almost instantaneous liquification, followed by thick smoke, and as long as I use the torch sparingly, no darkening of product. The trick is to be patient and methodical:

-Use the torch 1-3 inches away from the bowl

-Move it quickly

-“Encourage” the liquid to trael all over the bowl by leading it with the flame

-Use inward swirling movements, especially during the melting phase

-I recommend using single, squareish crystals for this.

[haikyuuthots]

hi there! i’ve been a follower for awhile but i’m asking this anonymously bc i dont feel like exposing myself lol. but i was wondering if i can get an emergency request. i have been in quarantine for a year (since March 12-so almost a year) because i’m considered a high risk person during the pandemic, and i’ve been quarantined with my parents who can be extremely toxic at times. On top of that, I’m a full time college student and am experiencing burnout and am just overall at an extreme low right now. It’s just pilling on top of one another and is just weighing so heavily on me—i’m not sleeping, i’m barely able to focus and i’m just in such a self-hatred state of mind because of my parents and school. I just feel like its too much at this point and I just want everything to pause for a moment so i can breathe for even just a moment. If it isn’t too much trouble can I just get Ushijima (and/or Sakusa or honestly anyone you want to add) and how they would help out their s/o? thank you so much, your writings make my day brighter so please keep up the good work :)

A/n: Thank u so much for trusting me enough to help u feel better. This is for u love, i know life can be so hard, I truly hope you feel better soon, please if u ever feel comfortable enough to talk, don’t hesitate to message me!❣️i appreciate u, more than u could ever imagine. Thank u! Hope you enjoy this 🤍

Warnings: talk about being sad and stressed, but not very explicit.

Characters: Ushijima Wakatoshi & Sakusa Kiyoomi

For the first time in a while, nothing in the world mattered. - Ushijima Wakatoshi

———————————————————

Life was overwhelming, it truly was. The more you thought about how many issues you had the more stressed you got. The last thing you wanted was to be consumed by this negative energy, you hated it and all you wanted to do was stop feeling this way but the more the days passed the more evident it got that you weren’t feeling like yourself, and your boyfriend was the first to notice your change in attitude. Ushijima was very observant, he rarely ever said much but the minute he realized you were down he wanted to do everything in his power to lift your spirits up. He would do anything to see a genuine smile on your face again.

You were surprised to see you boyfriend when you woke up Tuesday morning, making breakfast in the kitchen usually by this time he’d be gone, training for the majority of the day.

“Toshi? What are you doing?” You asked, a bit confused by the sight in front of you.

“Y/n, love, I’m making you breakfast.” He says lifting up the pan a little, showing you the scrambled eggs.

You giggle a bit, “yeah baby I see that, but I mean what are doing here now? Shouldn’t you be at practice?”

Ushijima lowers the heat on the pan and makes his way over to you, “i asked for today off, I want to be with you.”

You’re looking up at him with a shocked face “w-hat, why?”

He’s cupping your face, looking down at you lovingly “I love you. You don’t have to say anything now, but it’s been hard to ignore how down you’ve been I just want to be here with you, because I will always be with you, no matter what.”

Your vision begins to blur form the tears that are threatening to come out, you roughly wrap your arms around his body, and nuzzle your face into his chest. He holds you tightly, resting his chin on your head.

“I’m just- so tired. I feel like everything is falling apart.” You barely whisper out, tears prickling down your face.

Ushijimas heart breaks at the sound of your voice, but he tries his best to keep a strong tone, for your sake.

“Love, I’m here for you. Today, tomorrow, and every day after that. I won’t ever let you feel this alone.”

He pulls away, slightly wiping your tears, smiling down at you “I made you your favorite, would you like to eat now?”

You smile up at him, before you answer you give him a small peck on the lips “yes. I would love to eat with you.”

Your boyfriend spent the rest of the day by your side. He planned out all your favorite activities, starting with going to the movies, later getting frozen yogurt, and finally going to your favorite pond to feed the ducks. During that entire time you forgot about everything that negatively weighed on you, you were beyond grateful for Ushijima , because for the first time in a while, nothing in the world mattered. He kept his word too, every day he never failed to remind you that he was there and he would always be there, for you, for anything you ever needed.

I’ll be here for you, til’ the end. - Sakusa Kiyoomi

——————————————————

It was 4Am and you rolled over again, looked like it would be another sleepless night. You couldn’t remember when the last time you got a good 8 hours of sleep was. It seemed that the stress of everything going on your life was specifically haunting you at night.

Looking over you see your boyfriends sleeping figure, you sigh thinking about how disappointed he’d be if he saw you awake at this hour. You quietly head over to grab your phone, trying to distract your negative thoughts by watching videos. After 15 minutes youre startled by your boyfriends sleepy voice

“y/n? Why are you up?”

“I can’t sleep, but don’t worry about it, you just go back to sleep oomi.”

You resume your video, watching until a hand begins hovering over the screen and your boyfriend briefly snatches your phone away from your hold

“Oomi, what?” You asked a bit confused,

Sakusa is now sitting up as he turns on the lamp beside your nightstand, he’s more awake now, gently rubbing his eyes

“Baby. What’s wrong?” He asks you,

“N-nothings wrong, I just can’t sleep tonight. But I’m okay.” You try your best to fake a smile, in hopes to not worry your boyfriend, but he knew you like the palm of his hand, he could tell when something was wrong.

Looking at you, more intensely he gently runs his finger under the bags under your eyes “you haven’t been sleeping have you?”

You audibly gasp at his realization, “I-I’m trying too, I am but”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Concern is laced all over his words

“I-I, just didn’t want to worry you.” You’re looking down as tears start falling down your face

Sakusa is looking at you with soft eyes, immediately he brings your body towards his and engulfs you into a hug. He’s holding you tightly as he speaks

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

You continue crying on him, as you release your built up frustrations. He made it easy to cry, you couldn’t keep wishing things would be different, you’ve been so hard on yourself lately, but Oomi here comforting you was all you needed to help relieve that.

You two stayed in that position for a few minutes before you finally regained your composure, Sakusa holding you the entire time.

Finally pulling away he wipes your tears, looking deeply into your eyes

“I love you, you’re my entire world y/n. And I’ll be here for you, til the end, anytime you need me. Please never forget that”

You smile at his genuine words. Sakusa leans down to connect his lips with yours, kissing you lovingly.

Pulling away, Sakusa finds the remote control turning the tv on. You’re a bit confused by his actions

“Wh-?”

“I won’t fall asleep until you do.” He cuts you off, his eyes still looking at the tv.

“Kiyoomi , don’t do-“

He looks back at you, “I mean it, I’m staying up with you, until you’re asleep.”

And he did, he didn’t sleep until he made sure you did first. Every night after that, he made sure to stay up with you until you slept, not only that but he was very attentive with anything you needed, caring for you, listening to you and reassuring you that you’d be fine. You were beyond thankful for him, because your boyfriend showed you time and time again that he would do absolutely everything to make sure you were aware at the fact that you were never alone.

[enderspawn]

It's alright if u don't wanna answer this cuz this argument gets people really riled up but do you think c!Techno is a tyrant or nah?

Cuz many c!techno apologists argue that he isn't just cuz he's an anarchist but I've also read a lot of essays that go against it and it'd be really interesting to see ur opinion on this

i think he, in some contexts, can most definitely be called tyrannical, yes. a tyrant? no.

to avoid spamming ppl w discourse we've all def heard before (and bc this ended up MASSIVE (like 2.3k ish), but fairly in depth bc i didnt wanna speak out of bad faith and wanted to be EXPLICTLY clear-- oops), the rest will be under readmore

so heres the thing i want to preface: i used to really LOVE c!techno. i joined beginning of s2, right when exile started, and he was arguably my favorite character. since then though i've fallen out with him a LOT, to the point i almost... actively despite him at times (though mainly in a toxic kind of way which i can acknowledge is flawed).

in short, his actions started to speak louder than his words and i lost investment in his personal character struggles because of the actions he took (doomsday was my breaking point. i get feeling angry and betrayed, as well as seeking revenge against lmanberg, but his actions went too far for me to CARE and it hurt so many more characters as well.)

so when i speak, i come from a place of disliking him but also somewhat understanding the position c!techno apologists come from: i used to be one of them myself.

NOW, do i think he's a tyrant? no. for reference in my analysis, i try to look up the definition of terms to make sure they are utilized properly. while "tyranny" and "tyrannical" can have multiple uses, tyrant itself is a more specific term. to combine the top two definitions, a tyrant is referring to "an extremely oppressive, unjust, or cruel absolute ruler (who governs without restrictions, especially one who seized power illegally.)"

techno's position as an anarchist, imo, DOES indeed make him unable to be a tyrant. tyrants are rulers with very clear power over others from a structural way. anarchists are about the lack of structure or power over others and instead viewing the people around you as equals in power.

in forming the syndicate, they very explicitly worked to not designate a leader and instead make it so that no one would have any power over the others systemically. techno may have taken a integral role, yes, but it doesn't make him suddenly "the leader", its a role that wouldve had to be filled by someone (even if it was democratic to decide who to invite, they'd need someone to hand over the invite itself yknow? like no matter WHAT there needed to be A ROLE)

one could argue that he IS a leader in the shadow hierarchy of the syndicate (which, yes, is a real and professional term used in management courses despite sounding like it comes from a 4kids yugioh dub) in that everyone CONSIDERS and looks to him a leader without him having any actual structural basis behind it, but to argue that allows him to be a tyrant is in bad faith i believe. especially because to the people he would be "ruling", he ISNT oppressive, unjust, or cruel. they are his friends and support network and critical for a lot of his personal development (since feelings of betrayal and trust issues are critical to his character and why he acts the way he does). I wish we were able to SEE this develop more, but oh well.

but like i said: tyrant is fairly specific in definition. TYRANNY, and thus TYRANNICAL are not as limited. I've discussed their definitions here. originally, i made that post because i was angry at a take i had seen that claimed that, like you said, because techno was an anarchist and not part of any government or leadership position, he couldn't be tyrannical. to which i heartily disagree.

for something to be tyrannical, they simply must have an overarching/oppressive power over someone or something. it would not be inaccurate if i were to say that something is "under the tyranny" of a concept, because what it means is that something is under the power of another thing/concept. you can frankly call anything tyranny if it is widespread/overarching and you don't like it. mask mandates? tyranny, its forcing me to act in "rigorous condition". hell, theres even such things as tyranny of the majority in which people agree too much on one thing and it gives them unfair power or tyranny of the minority where people with minority opinions have too much power (thats a very grossly oversimplified definition of both, but it covers the base idea well enough for my point)

the point im making above isnt meant to be taken as "anything can be worked to be defined as tyranny thus it is a meaningless claim", it is that tyranny (and again, thus tyrannical) are very open and nonrestrictive terms.

to make it easier to define, alongside the definitions provided i want to add an explicit clause that is (imo) implied in the original definition: tyranny is... well, bad. that is to say if someone has power over a group but literally everyone is fine with it and agrees to it, its not tyranny. thats just a group of people getting along and one happens to have power over another. a leader does NOT equal a tyrant (as discussed above), so leadership should not be equated with tyranny.

thus as an example: wilbur acting as president (before the election) may have been "unelected" with power over his citizens, but no one was upset with that power. thus, he is not a tyrant and not acting tyrannically (as well as the fact his power was, arguably, NOT rigourous or absolute but thats another topic for another time). SCHLATT however IS a tyrant, as his power was absolute (he did not consult his cabinet) and forced people to comply instead of them complying willingly, thus he was acting tyrannically.

now to finally get to the damn point of this essay: where does c!techno lie? honest answer? it depends slightly on your perspective, but it depends a LOT on the future of the syndicate.

techno is incredibly clear in his goals: no governments, no corruption. in fighting with pogtopia, he is actively working to topple a tyranny-- he isn't tyrannical for doing that.

when he strikes out on nov 16th, it is because he opposes them forming a new government. when they oppose him and disagree, he launches an attack against them. is this tyranny? maybe, but probably not. he IS trying to impose his own physical strength and power (as well as his resources) over the others to stop them from doing what HE doesn't want them to do.

however its more nuanced than that:

1. hes lashing out emotionally as well as politically. he feels betrayed by those he trusted and he believed that they would destroy the government then go (i'm ignoring any debates on if he did or did not know that they planned another government, though it is a source of debate). but typically idk about you but i dont call tyranny for someone fighting with another person.

2. he also may be acting with good intent again, in HIS EYES. if tubbo was part of manburg, whos to say he wont be just as bad? he, in his pov, is likely trying to stop another tyrant before they rise.

3. and finally, and tbh the most damning from any perspective: he gives up. he quickly leaves then RETIRES without intent to try and attack again until he is later provoked. tyranny is defined by it not just being power, but power being USED. if he doesn't use his power to try and impose any will, then he's not tyrannical.

Doomsday I am also not going to touch very in depth on for much of the same reasons. My answer is again a "maybe", depending on the weight you personally place on each issue:

1. he's lashing out as revenge for the butcher army and as revenge against tommy for "betraying" him (though this one we explicitly know he was ignoring the fact tommy did not want to go through with it, however he still did trust and respect tommy regardless so his feelings are understandable anyway)

2. he sees new lmanberg as corrupt and tyrannical (which is undeniable: house arrest for noncompliance, exile without counsel, execution without trial, etc), and thus obligated to destroy it

but also, theres the implicit understanding he's doing this to send a message: do not form a government, or else. its a display of force that also works to warn others unless they want a similar fate. phil even explicitly states that he is doing so to send that message, so one could assume techno is doing the same alongside his personal reasoning listed above.

what i just described is the use of a oppressive and harsh (physical) power in order to gain compliance from people (that compliance being 'not making a government'). does that sound familiar? exactly. it follows the definition(s) of tyranny given previously. technoblade is acting in a way that is, by very definition, tyrannical.

so the debate shifts: is he valid in doing so because he is trying to PREVENT corruption and tyranny. like i said, new lmanberg was undeniably corrupt at points. i held nothing against techno for trying to topple manburg, so does that apply to new lmanberg as well? short answer: i dont know. it depends on your specific opinion of what is acceptable. its like the paradox of tolerance: to have a truly tolerant society, you have to be intolerant of intolerance. to have a truly non-tyrannical society, do you need to have a tyranny enforcing it?

personally (and bc im a lmanberg loyalist /hj) i say it is. regardless of the corruption of new lmanberg, they are also giving a threat to EVERYONE. even those who are innocent, they are presented with the exact same threat and rule set: if you make a government, you will be destroyed.

(which, small divergence here, is part of why debating c!techno is so frustrating. so many times you end up hitting a "well it depends on your political views" situation and there ISNT a correct answer there. im here to analyze characters for fun, not debate political theory)

so: the syndicate then. this is where this debate really "took off" and i think its due to one very specific miscommunication about its goals and plans. the syndicate, upon formation, declares itself to stand against corruption and tyranny. when they are found, the syndicate would work to destroy it. so heres the golden question: what do THEY define as corruption and tyranny? if you were to go off c!techno's previous statements, seemingly "any government" is a valid answer. however, he also states he's fine with people just being in groups together hanging together.

what then DEFINES A GOVERNMENT for them? what lines do they have to sort out what does "deserve to be destroyed" and what does "deserve to exist freely"

this is a hypothetical i like to post when it comes to syndicate discourse:

i have a group of people. lets say 5 or so for example. they all live together and build together. any decisions made that would impact the entire group they make together and they must have a unanimous agreement in order to proceed, but otherwise they are free to be their own people and do their own thing. when you ask them, they tell you they are their own nation and they have a very clearly defined government: they are a direct democracy. does the syndicate have an obligation to attack?

there is absolutely no hierarchy present. there is no corruption present. but, they ARE indeed a government. is that then inherently negative? my answer is fuck no (see the whole "difference between a tyrant and a leader" thing above).

but THATS where the issue of this discourse LIES. in some people's eyes, the answer to that is YES. techno's made it clear "no government" is his personal view, but does that spread to the syndicate as a whole? do they act preemptively in case it DOES become corrupt? is it inherently corrupt because its a government, regardless of how it is ruled? the fact of the matter is because of how little we've seen the syndicate work as a SYNDICATE, we don't know that answer. so we're left to debate and speculate HOW they would act.

if the syndicate were to let that government exist, then they are not tyrannical. they are showing that they are working to stop tyranny and corruption, just like in pogtopia again.

if the syndicate were to destroy/attack that government, then they are tyrannical. simple as that. they are enforcing a rule of their own creation without any nuance or flexibility under the threat of absolute destruction.

miscommunication in debates comes, in my opinion, in the above. of course theres more points of nuance. for example:

would the syndicate allow a government like i had described with early lmanberg, where there is an established hierarchy but everyone in the country consents to said leadership? on one hand, there is no tyranny or corruption present which is what they are trying to work against. on the other hand, theres more a possibility of it occuring. perhaps they'd find a middle road between the two binary options of "leave or destroy" i am presenting, such as checking in occasionally to ensure no corruption occurs.

but if they were to destroy it without, for lack of a better word, "giving it a chance" they would be, in my opinion, tyrannical. they would be going aginst their words of opposing corruption and instead abusing their power to gain compliance.

your/others opinions may differ, again it depends on if you see it as worth it to possibly stop future tyranny or if a hierarchy is INHERENTLY a negative thing.

part of the reason so many blog gave up this debate, beyond not getting very clear answers for the syndicate, is because of the nuance present. there. is. no. right. answer. every single person will view it differently, because there is no universally agreed upon truth of right or wrong here. BUT, i hope this helps shed some light on the discussion and my thoughts on it

[sunarintoes]

Boyfriend Headcanons

Includes: Sakusa, Komori, Shirabu, Atsumu

Warnings: none - just pure fluff :) oh wait some swearing!!

✗ you have to be clean!! There’s no two ways about this. Of course you dont have to be super clean freak germaphobe!! (Extra points if you are because cleaning is his passion and he hates germs and he would love to share that with you)

✗ it takes a while for him to become affectionate, he has to ‘get used to your germs’ and all. When you are at home he will love to cuddle with you!! He particularly loves it when you are clean sitting in his lap while watching a movie! Because!! Then he can wrap his arms around you and rest his head on yours!

✗ one of his favourite dates is going shopping together... to the chemist. He likes having you with him as he looks through all the hygiene and sanitary items, often asks you ‘does this smell good’ because baby wants to be clean AND smell good. He will smell like a fresh bouquet if you so wish. Afterwards he’ll take you out to eat and pay for your food as a thank you.

✗ he’s in no way, shape or form fond of PDA. It makes him uncomfortable and he prefers to keep his private life, private. And you completely respect that!! The most he will go is the occasional hand holding or giving you his vbc jacket.

✗ he will make it clear he’s in a relationship though! He doesnt want his fan girls to continue coming on to him so he will tell them bluntly, it probably went something like this: ‘I am in a relationship with Yn. If you have a problem I dont care. Please stop trying to get in with me from here on out and dont touch Yn otherwise I’ll drown you in bleach.’ Wow isnt he just a charmer.

✗ he doesnt mind if you wear a face mask or not, but be prepared: he will refuse to kiss you until you’ve thoroughly washed your face. He does think your face is cute/pretty/handsome/etc so I think he’d prefer to see it.

✗ i don’t think hes one to be jealous or possessive but doesn’t like it if other people ‘contaminate you with germs’ so he’ll most likely stick around you to defend you from ‘germs’ so i guess he’s pretty protective. But not toxic protective!! He likes it when you come to his games and cheer for him!

✗ Komori is the softest ever! He loves you and he loves affection!!!! Bb is kinda clingy but its okay because he’s adorable and you love his hugs! He loves snuggling with you - face to face, while the both of you talk about anything and everything!

✗ he definitely loves it when you come to his games and he always gives you his jacket to wear! After every game when he sees you waiting for him in the foyer he runs up and hugs you.

✗ he lives to see you smile! Komori really loves when you smile! Please smile for him! But don’t fake it! Fake smiles make him sad! If he ever sees you fake a smile (and he can always tell bcz of how much he loves your smile) he will always make time to speak with you or FaceTime you to ask you how you’re going and if you’re okay. He doesn’t like his bb being sad :’)

✗ Komori really likes cute cliche dates! Sometimes you tease him about it but you can’t deny that he always makes them special - even if they’ve been done a million times before. Picnic dates and star gazing dates are a must!

✗ when it comes to PDA, he’s not necessarily against or for it, hes just kinda like eh whatever works in the moment. However!! Holding hands everywhere is a must.

✗ I don’t see him as the type to get jealous and/or possessive. He gives vibes that are full of positivity, so I feel like in a relationship with him he’s very trusting and understanding. However, if someone is flirting with you and making you uncomfortable he will intervene. Unless!! You have it under control, if so then he’ll just come up and stand next to you with a passive aggressive smile directed at the dude. If you don’t have it under control, he will come up and put a hand on your shoulder to reassure you and then he will talk to the guy. He starts off by asking a random question like ‘how’s the weather’ or whatever, and this usually confuses the guy because ‘???? Who’s this dude and why’s he talking to me so friendly’ anywho, he chats the dude’s ears off and the dude ends up leaving.

✗ he cant cook but can make he finest 2min noodles. Eat his noodles. He’ll be happy.

✗ aight here we are, piss hair - my second favourite Miya <3 jk

✗ being real, if youre gonna date atsumu you have to have to be able to take a joke. Please dont be offended. It’s just that he likes to joke around with you and 10/10 will point to something ugly and say ‘that’s you babe.’ He doesn’t do it to be mean!!! No!! He just sucks shit at expressing himself and therefore he teases you to show his affection verbally. He often says ‘I love ya’ to remind you because he knows words can hurt. He does his best to not be too mean :,) and if you ever look slightly sad because of something he said he will flick the switch and turn into a really loving bf. Hah simp.

✗ he wont admit it but he loves affection. Pda is a yes for him. Loves it when you sit in his lap or hold is hand or jump onto his back. He thinks you’re the cutest. You wear his jacket. Before and after games he gives you a sweet kiss on the lips, nothing steamy though thats for back home. He hugs you as a stress release. I know that sounds weird but he finds you to be so comforting and when he engulfs you in a hug and he can smell your shampoo/perfume he just feels really safe and loved and all round lucky to have you.

✗ Oh I know a lot of people have this hc about him only allowing you to cheer for him during his serves but I dont vibe with that. He likes it silent to concentrate so even if you were special (which you are) he doesnt want that game concentration interrupted, which you of course respect and understand. However as soon as his serves are up and its actual game time please cheer as loud as you want because he loves it when you cheer him and his boys team on!!

✗ mans is jealous, he doesnt like it when others get too comfy comfy with you. Like he knows you have other friends and he gets that but he does not! And I repeat - does not! Like it if they (esp opposite gender) get super touchy with you because in his head: ‘why get touchy with her/him/them when I’m literally right here???’ Oh yeah and he hates it when some weirdo is tryna chat you up, so to combat that he would definitely make his presence known. In scenario 1: ‘hey buddy can I have my girl/boy/sIo for a sec? Yeah thanks mate.’ Then he proceeds to kiss you harshly on the lips. Scenario 2: he walks up to the guy/girl/person and puts a hand on the both of yours shoulder. ‘She’s/he’s/they’re taken buddy, scram it.’ And the weirdo gets intimidated by that passive aggressive smile and the strong hand on his shoulder so they usually run away with a scowl right after they’re told.

✗ hes only soft for you behind closed doors sorry bb. Mans is a big simp. Even if he wont show it. I headcanon that he has a horse and knows how to ride it so sometimes he rides it to your house and calls you to come outside. You go outside and there he is, sitting on this large beast with a picnic basket, ‘hey babes wanna have a picnic?’ Ngl you’re surprised every time but go anyways. Omg imagine one day when youre at the picnic he’s all like ‘hey babes wanna see a trick?’ And youre like, ‘yeah sure’ so he gets on the horse and does idk something but then gets bucked off. Omg that shit would be hysterical. Brb gonna write a short scenario on this.

✗ wow ok I love him so much

✗ ok ok so we know Shirabu is smart (example in the timeskip) so he often stays up really really late to work on assignments and to study which means he can get very tired and burnt out esp when he has to do volleyball on top of all that. This is where you come in, you often visit his dorms (Shiratorizawa has dorms so thats the base for shirabu) and when you visit his dorms you bring lots of food - healthy foods to get his brain working but also snack foods to help him relax and release some of that good ol’ serotonin.

✗ when he studies but also feels like cuddling you find yourself facing him while sitting in his lap. You gotta move though cause he’s still working so you end up just cuddling into him like a koala. When he doesnt have to write/is busy reading he will wrap his arms around you and place a kiss to your forehead. He loves you omg, thinks you’re the cutest thing ever. IN FACT his home screen is a picture of you asleep, cuddling him in his lap. The only reason you’re not his lock screen is bc he has a rep to keep up in the club and cant have brats like goshiki knowing he can be soft or tendou teasing him for being ‘simp.’

✗ like atsumu, you gotta be able to take a joke because mans is a salt stick and loves teasing/roasting you. Ofc you do it back. Sometimes you team up and tease Kawanishi together. Please save Kawanishi, he does not want to deal with either of you, bb is tired from volleyball.

✗ shirabu knows he may not be the ideal boyfriend - he’s hopelessly devoted to the volleyball club and studies the life out of himself, so he often finds himself apologising to you and feeling incredibly guilty that he may have to cancel your date every so often. You make sure to remind him that its okay, that you knew what you were getting into when you started dating him and that you admire that he’s so determined and such a hardworker and that you love him. Every time you tell him he almost cries, he loves you.

✗ to make up for lost dates he will invite you to his dorm, or he’ll go to yours and the both of you will spend the day cuddling and snacking on food while watching movies. For him this is like killing two birds with one stone because 1) he gets to relax and have some downtime and 2) he gets to spend that time with you and just being in your presence relaxes him so much. Hhhhh hes so precious omg i love him. Oh and he’ll make sure to tell you that he loves you - it took a while for him to say it because he wanted it to mean something.

✗ when it comes to pda he’s not the most comfortable about it, yknow he just prefers to keep that to himself. But!! Will 100% hold your hand if you ask. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask! He just really likes holding your hand.

✗ now is he jealous or possessive? Yes he is jealous, i cant describe why. He just gives those vibes. I think it’s because he has a lot of self doubt and insecurities about being a good boyfriend that he feels like someone could just sweep you away. He’s self aware so he knows it’s his insecurities talking so he does his best to not believe and act on them but sometimes when someone is deliberately flirting and knows you have a bf he will be big mad. Full on walks up to the guy with an intimidating aura and roasts him. Ngl you find it funny because he’s spitting out insults faster than you could say supercalifragi- something i forgot how to spell it lol.

[grotesquegabby]

What would your Survivor and Killer OCs think of mine and Mags'? :3

@post-itpenny

alrighty~ lets get started with

Pandoras thoughts

Mary: Honestly seems like a great person and would love to get to know her more. I imagine if Pandora had traveled and crossed paths with Mary Pre-Entity. She would have been like hey can you DJ at this party I’m throwing. I imagine they could have become pretty good friends to be honest. Plus Pandora is a huge partier, so shed end up being a fan as well x3

Pandora loves to tease the killers in trial and with those perks that Marys got. I imagine if they ended up in trials together and got to each other before the killer did. Tag team big time.

Thomas: She can see that hes guarded and can understand that. Pandora is a pretty sensitive person and can read people well. Shed take her time with Thomas and show him not everyone is as bad as they seem.

She would be extremely patient with him. Have his back when shes able too in trials. That sadomasochist perk really comes in handy for taking hits for team mates x3

Will try to make him laugh in a trial, lets have fun with this. She knows people can see what shes doing. So shes like lets make this as pervy or as funny as possible.

Neo: Loves the aesthetic, oh la la~. x3 Dont know if shed see him without the mask but shed be like oh damn~. anyway...a challenging killer but thats what makes these trials so fun, and Pandora is a glutton for punishment...god that sounds bad...anyway

I imagine shed be annoying to him too. Finding out about his past though would warrant empathy from her. Its not fair shed say, its not fair at all...outside trials she would try to befriend him like shed try with certain other killers.

Irene: You think I’m annoying now....just you wait~. Pandora though loud and very in the spotlight herself....is patient and cunning and knows how to be stealthy. I think at first when learning about Irene she might feel for her but it wouldnt last too long. She can put two and two together...she knows what happened to those people Irene knew...

Selfish people do as selfish people do. And Irene may be an actor but shes an open book.

Pandora wouldnt have much patience for someone like her but annoying the hell out of her would be worth it every time. She might even snap at Irene during trial and bring something up...which might get her killed but she wont care. Irene wants control and is manipulative. And Pandora dont roll with toxic people like that.

oh you dont like how I dress or act, well tough shit. shed call her uptight x3

Now for Gisela~

her view on life in general has become skewed especially after the betrayal and pain she endured before becoming what she was. During most trials she is herself, I have a look for her that shows when its the Entity I have yet to draw it and post it though so....hopefully soon.

So~

Mary: oh my god, this one is going to be annoying she can already tell. Dont get her wrong in another life these two could have been close. But this is the Entities realm and the Witch is no longer who she used to be.

So shes going to get annoyed with that one perk Marys got x3 I can tell but outside a trial...perhaps but shes quite hard to get close to outside trials.

she tends to stay in her own realm and doesnt even bother going to I assume a killers camp .I like to assume the killers also have a camp like oh man a new day in the entities realm time to head to the camp to see what trials ill get and sometimes they all hang out there. But shes like nah....

But I think she would also be fascinated with Mary, and....impressed. She was never that confident or popular when she was that age. So maybe also some admiration in there. A small part of her from the past still remains it might seem.

Thomas: Gisela understands a lot about what Thomas feels. Betrayal, someone close to you betrayed you. Left you for dead.....how familiar. Her situation from before only slightly similar in the someone close aspect though for her it was a whole village.

In trials she might give Thomas a chance...might..because of the sort of kinship she would feel with him but only somewhat. She has a job to do after all

other than that who knows. Maybe outside of trials theyd sit quietly together but The Witch tends to mostly keep to herself watching everyone from the shadows or through the crows eyes.

Shes not too fond of most people due to her past.

Neo: When it comes to killers, The Witch learns about them before meeting them. So Neo she would feel for, might not really show it at first unless they happen to get real close eventually but....she would feel for him and his past.

And yes....he is quite handsome~. But right now its professionalism time.

anyway....I imagine they might not speak much at first. Since shes pretty secluded and loner like at least in the beginning of things.

Neo has no qualms with killing, and honestly neither does she at this point. He has his reasons she has hers.

Irene: Im just imagining the Witch looking down at Irene with just this....look like....excuse you. x3 I dont know why anyway...

considering how different these two are...Gisela will admit she was a bit selfish in her past but not to Irenes extent. She selfishly wanted to keep her sister with her in their home village but ended up unable too... that was her thing.

But Gisela also sees this want for attention and control.....utterly......infuriating. She has no patience for it. I imagine she could tell how Irene would feel about her. As I may have mentioned before or if I didnt, The Witch knows things and she can tell the type of impression she leaves on some.

but I imagine if these two did have any positive interaction it would be few and far between perhaps. Where as Irene enjoys being in the spotlight, the Witch actually doesnt. She tends to stick to the shadows.

Bastian's opinions

Mary: she's really cool and he'd definitely befriend her. Love of music and stuff uvu

I imagine they'd joke around and talk about their lives. Let's irritate the killer x3

Thomas: he'd feel for Thomas and he'd also be understanding but Bastian is extremely loyal when he makes a friend.

I imagine it'll take a bit and Bastian is more down it earth when it comes to being social and such. So who knows they might end up being real good friends in time.uwu

Neo: cool look but oh shit! I honestly think Bastian would have a bad time going against him. Hed be like flashlights dont work sooo....what do!

cool guy, sad past, hed feel better but wouldnt feel very safe around him even outside trials. He doesnt really trust a lot of the killers outside the trials in general.

Irene: ._. reminds him of his father so it's a no from him.

Would do everything in his power to piss her off just like he did him.

He will pallet stun her over and over and over. Learn that Yui perk just for her plus added with his pallet perk itll be a real hit.

Hope these are good uwu

[randomfandomz]

GET READY FOR A LOT OF HUSK HEADCANNONS

Im not sorry–

Depressed as f*ck so he doesnt have the modivation to take care of himself

He drinks mainly to forget, and to releive stress

Not only that but he H A T E S water(not as much as Baxter does, but he still avoids it like the plauge)

He never showers until he absolutely has to

Like his fur is always matted and alchohol scented

And he thinks licking himself clean like non-demon cats do is absolutely out of the question, it is gross and undignified, he doesnt want to lick himself and water makes his fur feel heavy and cold and he w i l l argue with you about this

He hates having fur. He just hates it. Its hard to take care of and things get stuck in it, it gets caught in things and just hhhh h h h H H - NO

Will straight up refuse to shower until Charlie makes him

Everyone in the hotel knows about shower day

The day when they make Husk take a shower because e w g r o s s o l d m a n -

Baxter somewhat sympathizes with him about his hatred of water

Not like he actually shows it or does anything to help him though- because 1) Bax really doesnt give a flying f*ck, he just wants to do science and this doesnt concern science so he couldnt care less, and 2) He doesnt wanna speak up because s o c i a l a n x i e t y . S o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n ? N o t h a n k y o u .

Hes literally a cat, so he hates water with a burning passion

Husk's self image is kinda... ehhhhhh- I mean, its not like he really is that bad looking, if anything he looks pretty damn cool, but he honestly finds himself pretty unattractive. "The fur and wings d o n t h e l p "

Doesnt care if you call him old unless youre trying to be offensive; Hes proud of his age and experience

Even though he acts like an old man(well, he kinda is, but-) hes actually younger than Baxter, Mimzy, Alastor, Angel, and Nifty

Only Vaggie and Crymini are younger than him

When Husk first arrived at the hotel he didnt really wanna interact with anyone; New places kind of stress him out, so it took a long time for him to adjust and not snap at every little thing

Dont get me wrong, hes still a pissy alchoholic^tm, but the anger is less serious/genuine and more just because thats how he is

Husk fought in the vietnam war, and he attempted(and failed) suicide multiple times after the war until he was eventually beaten to death outside of a bar

He turned to alchoholism and gambling as a coping mechanism

Husk suffers from PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), along with the obvious alchoholism and gambling addiction

He is very salty/sad that he's a war vet but died in a bar fight, and wouldn't be remembered for his fighting but rather for being beaten to death in a bar while trying to drink away the feelings he had about not being welcomed home because of the way the media portrayed him and his fellow soldiers that fought in Vietnam

Upon learning that Husk is a vietnam war vet(he mentioned it while drunk off his ass- more than usual) one patron who attended the hotel for a short time told him "Welcome home doc!". Husk was surprised, as he had come to terms with the idea that he would never be thanked or welcomed for his services, but he did make sure to be maybe a bit less pissy to that particular guest. He will never forget them. It meant more to him than he would like to admit.

((I can't really think of a better reason as to why Husk would bring it up, but having seen one or two instances of someone saying "welcome home" to Vietnam war vets, I really wanted to add this. The "Welcome home doc" thing was me referencing a specific instance of this ive seen. Im so sorry if I'm wrongly portraying this in anyway, I tried to do enough research first before typing this part out, but I just wanted to point out that I tried my best to be respectful while talking about the subject.))

Moving on- L A S E R P O I N T E R S

One time Angel was just casually messing around with a laser pointer, out of boredom or something

HUSK'S RESPONSE WAS IMMEDIATE

HE WILL CHASE THAT RED DOT TO THE ENDS OF THE GODDAMN EARTH

"That DAMN RED DOT where the FUCK did iT gO!?"

He HATES that he does this, but he really cannot help it

Being a cat demon, and being Husk, his hunt and kill instinct is through the roof(hunt and kill instinct is why cats chase laser pointers btw)

Was VERY pissy for the next few weeks after this incident

Husk will purr involuntarily whenever someone pets him or strokes his fur

He WILL murder anyone who attempts to pet him or make him purr without consent(*COUGH COUGH* ANGEL *COUGH*)

Same goes for the wings DO NOT TOUCH THE WINGS, JUST DONT-

In his room, Husk's bed is literally a mound of blankets and pillows inside a box

Even he needs to get warm and comfortable after a long day

He never lets anyone in his room

Like n e v e r

Angel snuck in one night- Husk's half asleep drunken a*s shoved him out and yelled at him, waking up practically all the hotel staff and a few guests

In his defense, Angel, upon seeing the sleeping Husk, scratched behind his ears. Husk started to purr, but then snapped to somewhat conciousness, and realized what the f*ck was going on-

Yes, Husk is v e r y defensive

Give him a compliment? He wont accept it under any circumstances. He will probably be flustered and claim that the other is either lying or just kissing up to him

"You know you dont have to kiss my a*s to ask me something, right? The fuck do you want?"

Charlie honestly finds his reaction to compliments very sad

Has a kind of "well ya didnt need to point it out" attitude towards insults

Alastor insults him with the worst names in the book? He accepts it and couldnt give less f*cks

Even if its someone either than Alastor insulting him, usually even if he acts offended and p*ssed off, somewhere in his mind he just accepts it

Usually Alastor is the one insulting him, but in a "best friend rights" kind of way

He likes being creative when it comes to colorful language

"Look out to my sea of f*cks, and see how it is barren"

Doesnt have a "soft spot" for kids like Angel, but doesnt mind lessening the swearing a bit and doing a few magic tricks for the occasional child that somehow found their way to the hotel

He HISSES

If Husk is hissing at you you better f*ckin rUN-

He usually refrains from hissing- its part of him rebelling against his cat-like nature, but if he is openly hissing at you it means he is at his wits-end and is honestly P * S S E D .

sERIOUSLY, F*CKING R U N -

Crymini has a blog documenting all the cat-like things Husk does, and she sometimes does the classic "THIS IS A HUSK IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT" or "LETS SEE HOW THE KITTY REACTS TO THIS NEXT THING" bit, and Husk honestly finds it insulting as f*ck

Crymini pranked Husk with a cucumber(you know how cats on the internet are terrified of them) and Husk was actually scared of it, and he ran up a f*cking tree and wouldnt come down for a solid hour, partly put of legitimate fear, and partly out of spite from seeing the slightly guilty look on Crymini's face after the first 20 minutes of him hiding up there

Being a cat demon, alchohol is actually slightly toxic to him, and he is prone to alchohol poisoning. He usually drinks beer, which has low ammount of ethanol(5-7%)[ethanol is what makes alchohol so toxic to cats]

Baxter has a spray bottle to use on Husk if he is being particularly stubborn or bothersome. Charlie sometimes uses her own spray bottle for similar purposes, but she usually says something like "Bad kitty! No!" Along with it to tease him. Husk finds it humiliating and hates when his fur is wet, so surprisingly the spray bottle thing usually works.

He is demi-panromantic and asexual

H A T E S being touched, like under any circumstances

"The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight. It was also the day I was beaten to death and setenced to hell."

Bonus:

Angel: Hey kitty~! Wanna cuddle~?

Husk: The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight.

Angel: Oh really? *snickers* And how'd that work out for ya'?

Husk: Well, it was also the day I was beaten to death and put in hell. So I dunno. You tell me.

[convxction]

1, 5, 15

Romance and friendship ship asks | accepting | @pieman1112​

1. When you RP a ship do you prefer to make everything be smooth sailing all the time or do you allow conflicts to arise?

answered here ~ you know damn well i need that angst dose XD

5. Are there any characters that you want a ship for?

A character i want a ship for? idk how this question is phrased like other muses i know of? well, i want everyone to have nice ships and can develop something even nicer out of lol. for me? for chrom--hmm... i wrote a list of some relationships i wanna try my hands out among them a ship where his partner is not a fighter/cant fight. just a normal person with no fighting expertise. as for specific muses names hmm... names... i have a slight fear when i give out a name because a) it will intimidate the person who rpes this muse, b) will give a wrong impression that i want to ship on the spot without proper talking. i feel slightly unease when someone just hops on these kind of talks and ‘wanna ship~? i mean i respect they came forward its just..at least let us interact first;;; but yeah i like to have the chance to try and write with the S-Supports Chrom already have in the game, Sumia, Olivia, Sully, Maribelle etc. I would love more to try other characters who Intelsys is coward to give chrom at least an A support with haha. rubs my tiny hands...ehehe i got my S-Support Say’ri you cowards. i enabled myself aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha. ok yeah. you get the idea. as long as our muses are clicking i dont care. again to note, because i dont want someone to cry about it, i may suck at MxM representation because i dont know a lot about it but hey at least i am learning things. it is not me saying male muses dont interact, i said it plenty of times, give him bros give him homies. if the bro turn to boyfo i dont mind. but know i will inquire about everything so i dont write something of ‘stereotype’ and can be actually harming than doing anyone good.  yes. give chrom a boyfriend2021lmao

15. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned when it comes to RPing ships?

not ship fast. i mean it. at first some seems very friendly but as soon you say ok they either treat you nice until they are done with you, or just ignore you on the spot after acquiring your muse as a trophy haha. and it came to my attention how some are possessive and manipulative thinking muse shipping = in real relationship. wut? i dont need that in my life thank you very much. please understand > shipping muses IS NOT EQUAL TO in real life relationship. we are not in any relationship except friendship. dont try to tell me who to talk to or not (unless you are protecting my ass from a toxic person) dont tell me how to write my muse so it fits your own narrative. dont tell me reblog or not things etc. just take shipping for fun. roleplaying is for fun. dont make something for fun into something to fight over and stress over. i, and certainly, you did not come here to add to your stress level. i have my life to worry about, so do you. we come here to make fun content.  remember that. fun. content.

[kpop-pick-me-up]

So, can I say something real quick about Kpop idols?

This has been a thought on my mind basically since I joined the Kpop community, and I know some people might react weird or not understand what I'm trying to say but that doesn't matter to me. Putting this out there does.

*ahem* NO KPOP IDOL IVE SEEN PEOPLE CALL CHUBBY IS ACTUALLY CHUBBY.*ahem*

Like for real. I see posts talking about how Suga's cheeks get chubbier on break, and how Haechan's cheeks have gotten chubbier, or "before" and "after" pictures of idols who have gone on a diet and people saying "I miss when they were chubby" like.... They never were and they aren't. This is just what they'd actually look like if they got a normal amount of sleep, ate like a normal human, and didn't dance for 4-12 hours a day. That's not chubby, that's how they'd naturally look.

Chubby, to me means that a person is slightly overweight, or that they're a healthy weight but naturally softer and can look more fuller. Which is all beautiful. And I'm aware this can be a culture difference because of how idols are expected to be thin and perfect but sometimes when I look at them I just think about how unhealthy some (not all) of them must be physically.

Because on a mini tangent: when someone eats so little amount of food for so long and is they are always in a caloric deficit (so let's say youre recommended amount to maintain your weight is 2000, but you constantly eat 1500, or 1200-1400 calories a day) their metabolism adapts so that it's natural state of burning to maintain IS 1500 or 1200-1400. So they'd HAVE to eat less to lose weight, or fix their metabolism by slowly increasing their food intake so their metabolism can adjust to a normal amount of food again. But to do that their weight would plateau or they'd even gain a little bit. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with an idol gaining weight or doing any of this, except for the fact that they'd be called "fat" by the media. Nobody actually seems to care about an idol's health. And imagine what calling them "chubby" does to them when it's just them eating normally. Why do you THINK idols always go on strict diets before a comeback? Because they know that if they eat normally people would know and call them chubby. And I'm not saying this offends them, but I know that I would feel so pressured and judged subconsciously to eat less and lose the "chubbiness" because the media must see it too if fans do.

And I know some idols don't care or even just say they don't care (but trust me, they probably do), and I know some of you guys don't mean to hurt their feelings and just mean to say it innocently, it still encourages this unhealthy mindset that all idols MUST be borderline unhealthy, and just BARELY a healthy weight or diet amount. This gives their employers a reason to make them do those crazy restricted diets (ice cube diet, or the IU diet for example) and force them to lose weight because they KNOW and SEE what you do as well, and can see when you comment on it.

To put this into a different perspective as well, as someone who's been struggling with an eating disorder, looking at really thin idols like Jimin, Suga, Haechan, etc who all weigh less than me and are taller than me and to see them called "chubby" kicked my mind into comparison mode and said "then I must be HUGE." Or "I won't ever officially be skinny or pretty until I weigh the same as them or less" because that's how a sick mind works. So not only does this infect the idols minds and encourage the bad mindset, but it can infect their fans minds to think that they aren't good enough.

I've never wanted to point fingers at this because I love it so much, but I can't be a fucking liar anymore and hide behind it because I want to get better, and I'm tired of believing that I'm too big, or that I'll always be chubby until I'm 90lbs like all the female Kpop idols. But sometimes the Kpop fandom can trigger my eating disorder. There, I said it. Fight me. Because you call thin idols chubby, and you implant this way of thinking that how they eat is okay, and that weighing 90lbs and eating 1200 calories a day is a lifestyle or that constantly restricting and not focusing on nutrients or what body type I am is how life works because IT ISNT. Some people may be that naturally, but the fact that some idols noticably change a little bit when they eat normally on breaks shows that how they are on stage isn't natural.

And to end this off as a disclaimer again, I know people don't mean to be triggering, and they don't think there's anything wrong in what they're doing (which I understand), but you also have to really take a second to think about what you're saying a little bit. Chubby is a word that is either black or white to people. Either they think it's cute, or they think it's an insult. That all depends on culture and self esteem and blah blah blah. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being chubby, or that it's a bad thing to be because it is definitely NOT and I think everyone is beautiful how they're meant to be. So of you're 90lbs or 140, or 180, or 200+ or anything in between naturally you're all still beautiful and have your own necessary standards to consume to be healthy that will be different from everyone else. However, that is where the issue lies. Because most idols weren't born as thin as they are, they are usually forced and conditioned to be that way. But to help you decide whether it's okay to make these comments, ask yourself this when you're about to call an idol chubby:

1: am I calling them chubby because they're "eating well" (a normal diet) and they've started filling out?

2:Would I like it if someone I loved, respected or whom I cared about their opinion called me "chubby" after finally getting off of a restricted diet and just eating healthy but normal amounts of food?

3: If I was a Kpop media outlet and saw that they gained weight, what would I write? (Really put yourself in their shoes and be honest.)

4: Am I calling them chubby cheeks because they're just puffing them out and being cute? (Then okay, it's fine)

5: when I say this, are they really chubby? Or has my mind been twisted to think they are just like their critics?

And I know that may seem extreme, but that's how it is. You all preach about how self love should be more important in the "toxic" Kpop industry but still subconsciously encourage its toxic behavior. So instead of comments like "omg your cheeks are so chubby now! <3" or "awwww look at his tummy he gained!" Say: "Omg, you look so healthy! ", " You've been looking extra cute recently 😍" and stuff like that. Because it still gets the point across that you like seeing them healthier, but it doesn't use possibly triggering words like chubby or thick because they are neither.

Anyways that's my mini rant. I don't mean to trigger people, or point fingers because I used to do it too. But I think we all need to collectively recognize this as part of the issue, and say, "huh, maybe that could hurt their feelings a little but EVEN IF I DONT MEAN TO, OR ITS NORMAL WHERE IM FROM TO SAY AS A COMPLIMENT"

Because as one of my favorite quotes puts it in words perfectly "You don't get to decide whether you hurt someone or not." So yes, people like me are sensitive, and yes, it may not seem like a big deal to you. But honestly I've sat by and respected all of your guy's opinions and words for a while now, and I think it's now okay for me to say "hey, this kind of bugs me a bit." Without being looked at as weird or annoying.

So in the nicest way possible, say what you want, but I'm not taking this down. I've made myself clear and as understanding as possible. But people like me who have an eating disorder, had one in the past, or are on the road to developing one, or someone who is about to start one of the insane Kpop diets, needs to know that this isn't normal. And they shouldn't compare themselves to the unhealthy kpop standards like it did.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant.

~DeepSheep