#yes it was often just about money

[bethanydelleman]

Okay, so this is the post where I defend first cousin marriage, which is featured in Mansfield Park, Sense & Sensibility, and also comes up in Pride & Prejudice (I mean Anne de Bourgh and Mr. Darcy, Mr. Collins is a distant cousin to Elizabeth, at least 2 degrees removed, Mr. Elliot in Persuasion is another second cousin, though his line about Anne not changing her name might be the most cringy pickup line in romance history).

Firstly, 1st cousin marriage, in general is a squick NOT genetically dangerous. Yes, the Hapsburgs did happen, but they were intermarrying like crazy and within a very small dating pool. For most people, the genetic danger is equal to a woman over 35 having a baby. Negligible.

You also have to consider why cousin marriage was a good idea. Yes, you want to maintain wealth within a family, but more than that, women are vulnerable in marriage. When divorce laws are strict, and even running away from abuse is heavily frowned upon (just see The Tenant of Wildfell Hall) it becomes very important to choose prudently. Now who should you trust not to be abusive? The man you met at six balls in heavily chaperoned settings or cousin Charles, who you've known since birth and who has always been kind to you? I'm going with Charles. And you have more allies (hopefully) in that situation. You can go to your uncle for help if something is going wrong. You have an established network.

You can see why the overly cautious and continually neglected and verbally abused Fanny Price doesn't want to chance it on the wider world! She knows Edmund about as well as a human can know another human.

Now I'm sure this didn't always work perfectly, it certainly didn't for Eliza Brandon, but I can really see the logic behind it especially in Regency England.

In most Western countries, first cousin marriage just seems weird, but it's probably because we have such large dating pools these days and much longer dating periods (usually). People don't marry in a matter of weeks, they often date for years. With the benefits of cousin marriage fairly incomprehensible, we tend to focus on the risks.

Also, we have to remember that these people were not raised being told it was wrong, it wouldn't be gross to them. In fact, in Mansfield Park the idea that it would be a real fear for Fanny to marry one of the sons comes up more than once (at the ball we are told onlookers might have thought Sir Thomas was raising Fanny as a wife for his second son). In Frankenstein, Victor's parents specifically call Elizabeth his cousin instead of sister, assumably because they shipped those two crazy kids at five years old.

Anyway, many cultures still today prefer or practice first cousin marriage. The genetic risk increase is very small (it raises from about 2% to 4%) and we now have genetic testing as well. While it may be gross to you, it is not wrong or immoral, it is a difference. I can see why women might consider it a safer and desirable option.

I'm bringing this up not just because I read way too many posts about how gross the ending of Mansfield Park is to people, but because many people alive today are married to their first cousins and if you meet one, please be civil.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[lobotomy-lady]

I don't care how many times the rich & famous talk about how being rich & famous is the worst fate humanly possible I will never ever ever believe them for one milisecond lol

[guysonroblox]

genuinely i think roblox becoming a source of monetary gain was a mistake, the whole front page is pretty much exclusively ai generated clickbait slop whose only purpose is to get you to spend as much as they can. like it was a cool idea at first for actual creators to be rewarded for what they do for the community and game as a whole but its been ruined by the people who make nothing games full of predatory purchase pushing and millions of microtransactions and i think the spirit of the game thats supposed to be about creating together and having fun with pals has been lost

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[steakout-05]

i think all those autism vlogging youtube channels that post distressing videos of their children having meltdowns and intense panic attacks for thousands and thousands of people to see should be deleted and banned off the website and i am not kidding. i don't care what excuse they use whether it's "oh no it's for education purposes! so clearly posting our kids in state of extreme emotional and mental distress is okay 😊" or some other excuse, it's not okay to post your kids in what can be a very vulnerable and embarrassing state to be in for the whole internet to see. don't even come at me with that "they asked for the videos to be posted!" rubbish kids cannot consent to that no matter how intelligent or informed they are about the consequences of those videos going online. children cannot and should not consent to those videos going up and it pisses me off that the blatant exploitation of children and disabled people is still normalised and excused like this. cause that's what it is. it's exploitative of the vulnerable no matter how much it swears it's trying to be educational. 99% of the time the only reason these kinds of videos are online is to get clicks and views and money and it's disgusting.

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but i'm just thinking about one of the memory logs for sakura and how mobius tells sakura that what happened to her after her mantis surgery is at least better than what happened to both mobius and kevin after theirs, but from then on, sakura is no longer human and no one else will look at her like a human like before

then you timeskip over to when sakura is trying to save rin from MOTH, and she's arguing with kevin about how the MANTIS soldiers will always be outsiders and a threat to MOTHs because of the surgery. and how this treatment is what makes sakura afraid for rin and inevitably leads to her doom i :(

[lilydvoratrelundar]

dc is doing a little mini relaunch after the current crossover finishes and honestly thank god because literally only two of their current ongoings interest me but there's a bunch of fun looking stuff happening in november that i might actually look at. and also it's starting series for several guys who should have had ongoings this whole time like the fucking JUSTICE LEAGUE

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[dandyshucks]

I WANNA BE A JANITORRRR

[scarah-screeeaaammss]

I hate resellers. Like a lot. like okay I get it, sometimes that's the only way someone can keep themselves on their feet. I'm not mad at them. I'm pissed about people who clearly don't need to go thrifting and reselling who do it anyway and it's like bro. Come on. Don't you feel a little bad? don't you know that thrifting is already getting more expensive??

[tojisun]

sugar daddy simon but he doesn’t know how this arrangement actually works so sometimes, in the middle of the night, you get a wire transfer.

you would always send simon a message regarding the recent activity on your account; what once started as, “hi mr. riley, it seems like you have made an incorrect deposit into my account,” turned into, “????” because of how frequent it got.

sometimes, simon has legitimate reasons — “i want to see you tomorrow,” or “i’m taking you to the bahamas this weekend.”

but often, his reason is just — “i’m thinking about you.”

this one makes your heart churn the most, and you insist on returning the money back to him because thinking about you isn’t worth five-thousand pounds directly transferred into your account. but simon insists; says you’re too good for him so you deserve more than he could offer.

(“but i’m a jealous man,” he grunted in your ear when he had you bent over his island. “so yer mine, aren’t y’kid? all mine?”

you moaned out your yes’s, nodding and crying out that no one does it better than him. that no one could ever compare; no one could come close.)

he is… an odd man. you love him, in spite of.

you still remember the first time this whole wiring money happened, and after his comfort and placations, you had at least offered to meet up with him to make his deposit worth more than his thoughts about you, but simon had just…

> Oh. I’m out of the country.

yeah. he’s your strange dork. your beloved daddy.

(you’d kill for him.)

[mothmvn]

i wish people approaching users with fundraisers as a "one on one, from me to you, personally, please" request would make the bare minimum effort of reading about the "you" they're addressing, so that i could, like, actually connect with them the way they're trying to. pretty sure theyre sent to a list of people from the notes of posts or something, blanket sending copy pasting the same message, while using emotionally manipulative language directed at no one specific person (but a presumed unaffected, western audience). i dont want to close my inbox, but boy is it grating. anything to acknowledge "we're having a similar War Problem, i see you as a ukrainian and i will maybe even share your fundraisers in turn".... not a chance bruv

[blindtaleteller]

Tags ...again; lol.

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

[homocidalpotat]

Please do not send me asks for donations

Here's why (for if you find that statement impossible to understand):

I have NO money to give you.

I'm not popular enough that I will give you any reach.

I am a minor, and most of my followers/mutuals are too.

It makes me feel extremely guilty.

Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering and/or upsetting for me. These pictures often have blood, gore, extreme medical situations, hospital environments, etc. I'm not saying I don't feel sympathy for them, I'm saying I do not want to see that.

They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate.

I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected. They make me feel uncomfortable, and sometimes triggered or upset.

I can't tell what is a bot/scam and what isn't. Yes, I know most of them are not, or whatever it is you believe, but I don't have the time to do a full study of each asker.

I get a lot of spam from this. It is disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over.

Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.

If you want this in your pinned post, please don't credit me. You can copy the words or take a screenshot with my username cropped out. You can reblog this but please don't go on about how awful your experiences have been. I get it, but also if you spiral two much you might end up accidentally saying something bad. This post has led to a lot of hate anons and harassment, so I would rather not have too much attention. Thanks...

I am pro Palestine and want to do everything I can to help but I'm not financially or mentally well enough to do much. I'm not in support of these people dying. Also, this post isn't just about Palestine. It's about ALL asks for donations. I'm not doing favouritism or racism. I just can't deal with it. Don't harass me for expressing boundaries. This post applies to people of all nationalities and backgrounds. Every situation- war, poverty, injury, anything. I'm not discriminating. I'm not being a zionist or a racist or an ableist. It's a boundary.

Yes, this post might seem controversial. But I did literally make this for my own personal experience and didn't expect it to get more than 12 notes or so. Don't add opposing views because quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's not my problem and I didn't mean for this post to get so many notes. Don't use the number of notes as an excuse to fight me. I just want a peaceful Tumblr experience. Also, if you are reblogging this, don't trauma dump. I keep notifications on for this post so that I can block people harassing me before shit escalates, so I can see every reblog. You can screenshot and repost if you want to talk about your problems, but honestly its no better seeing people saying "I'm bankrupt and I just got kicked out by my family. I also have a history of abuse and those images are so triggering that I want to die". That doesn't help me. Make your own post to say that. Please.

I am taking this post off private after slightly modifying it. Any conflicting arguments based on this post will result in my blocking and reporting of you. If you do not understand my point of view, make sure you fully read the post before saying this. I made this post for my blog. If you have any questions or don't understand this post, send me an ask that is composed, calm and polite, and I can talk it through with you.

Please note that by sharing this post, you are more likely to be targeted by bots and scams. You are also more likely to be harassed. Please be safe.

[airagorncharda]

For any followers of mine still living with parents, guardians, family, or even just with roommates and who've never lived alone and/or fully on your own terms (whether ye be 16 or 60), I have TWO pieces of wisdom for you for when you eventually do:

You WILL discover that you were wrong about some shit you felt pretty strongly about before. Maybe you never realized how often your mom ACTUALLY cleans the bathroom and it turns out she asked for help really rarely. Maybe, much as it grates to admit, putting $50 into a different savings account every paycheck really IS the ONLY way to save any fucking money. Maybe that big rolling trashcan you resented your roommate putting in the kitchen, and got in that big fight about, really WAS super convenient and now you have to buy one for yourself after they move out and take it with them. Maybe blanching vegetables so they retain their color when cooked actually DOES enhance a meal, pretty food slaps actually, and the reason you didn't think it was worth the effort is because you were depressed.

You WILL also discover new shit that works SO much better for you than everything you'd been taught. Maybe you'll discover that dropping trash off at a recycling center at your convenience works way better for your brain than getting it picked up on a set day. Maybe you'll realize you don't actually hate tofu, you just hate how your family cooks tofu. Maybe you'll love being able to walk around the house naked whenever you want. Maybe you'll find you thrive in a space with giant framed nude photography, or taxidermy animals, or fandom themed Everything. Maybe you'll realize that keeping the thermostat set like 5 degrees colder (or hotter) than is typical makes you sleep better than you ever have before in your whole life.

The point of this wisdom is: Stay humble, but also, stay excited. There's no point pretending you weren't wrong about shit you were wrong about, just eat the crow and move on. But also, there's so much to look forward to about your own space-- even more than you could ever imagine when you don't have it yet.