#yes i still want to kiss people

[meet-me-behindthemall12]

for my fellow aces that are asexual but not aromatic:

i see you.

and this book sees you.

The Romantic Agenda by Claire Kaan

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[territorial-utopia]

Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship

and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.

[swiftfootedachilles]

im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character

[genia-caliber]

Hello everyone, I posted a new fic! (tw death from old age)

It's a bit angstier than usual but I really enjoyed writing it.

The early reviews are in and it seems people liked it 😌

if you also think being sad can be fun, I hope you'll read it and enjoy!

[animangalover-writes]

I love those brief moments we get where we get to see hannibal just be human. Like they're such simple scenes but I adore it.

[sysig]

You learn to live with it, learn to love it if you can (Patreon)

[maddy-ferguson]

Ngl, I really think that these bylers that are crying 24/7 about "purity culture" or whatever, are playing dumb when they start with their "but Nancy and Steve were 16 and 17 in that scene of s1!!!1" like... We got introduced to these characters at that age and the people playing them were already adults. So yeah, sorry but I think it's easy to see why most viewers would be uncomfortable with a more sexual scene of Mike and Will and it's not automatically homophobia, I think that would be the case with any of the kids since we got introduced to these characters when they were 12 and the actors were babies as well. We literally saw those kids grow. And I'm not saying byler should only get to peck or hold hands, It'd be cool if they have their epic kiss or whatever, but Will hasn't even had his first kiss yet and some of these people are already talking about sex scenes, like... Be for real 😭

funny you should say that...because i've used the nancy was 15-16 in season one argument (last tag) before while also saying that i understand why people find the sex part of their sexualities uncomfortable to discuss. and i wanna reiterate that, again, i totally understand that people feel like they've seen them grow up etc etc and that they still think of the actors themselves as children even thought they're not anymore.

i don't think it's all homophobia because like you said, people would probably feel the same about lucas and max and discussions of sex (i don't know if anyone is discussing that because there's much less discourse to have there and you can't argue that people are homophobic if they disagree with you) but i don't think it would be justified either. the "but we knew the characters when they were little" argument makes me think me of an ancient disney channel/abc show that old people and girl meets world fans who watched it for the first time in the 2010s will know, boy meets world (1993-2000). classic comic of age show, look at these kids. and eric in the back (he's fifteen).

they're eleven at the start of the show and then, what happens in any coming of age story happens, you guessed it...

they grow up. this is them in the later seasons, when the main characters are still in high school i think. they grow up, they talk about sex and about having sex at prom in season five and then they don't have sex right away because they figure it's not the right time yet or something like that, and then they have sex later and get married, the details don't matter. but my point is, who watches a show for five seasons, over years and years and gets upset at the main characters having sex because "this is crazy they used to be children"? isn't that the point of coming of age stories that cover multiple years or that focus on the latter years of adolescence, that they're not children forever and that at one point the characters "come of age" which usually includes their first sexual experiences?

i don't think the having sex part is particularly important in stranger things but also it doesn't have to be for it to be portrayed (see jonathan and nancy), teenagers have sex, it's just the way the world works. i'm not advocating for sex scenes of any kind especially because stranger things isn't a show that features a lot of sex in general, the only "explicit" sex scene being nancy and steve in season one with cuts to barb dying, but i genuinely don't think the duffers would have any qualms about portraying teenage sexuality in general with the party. if they did, they wouldn't have included erica threatening lucas to tell dustin what she found under his bed (it wasn't the communist manifesto) and they wouldn't have had max looking at a shirtless steve for an amount of time that's supposed to make the audience laugh. it's been 7 years. if they do a time jump, the babies will be about 17, played by actors who will all be around 20, the age natalia was when filming season one. the characters are teenagers, babies grow up. it happens to the best of us. i get why people would find it uncomfortable and maybe i would find it uncomfortable too but i wouldn't be scandalized. the duffers had no problem having a child actor portray everything will goes through in seasons one and especially two, i really feel like sex is fine and...not traumatizing or hard to watch compared to every single thing will's gone through lol. and again, i'm not even expecting them to have sex lmao, but i wouldn't cry myself to sleep if they revealed that everyone in the party actually knows what sex is.

last question: do we have any indication that jonathan had talked to more than one other girl (the girl at the halloween party being the one girl i'm counting for him) before he got together with nancy. i'm just asking because of your last sentence, because if we don't he should have slowed down also😭

[hearties-circus]

In all seriousness I thiiink Axel, 2, Milk would be cute :]

Getting star used to kisses

[cowardstiel]

i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months

[victorluvsalice]

-->And fortunately, when I did boot up the game and hit the old “Resume” button once the worst of the storm was over, everything was where I’d left it! :D I thus sent the trio over to the speaker in the pub to have a nice dance and chat together (with Smiler raving about non-exclusive relationships to Victor and showing off some sweet moves), before ending on some kisses (after Alice briefly ran off to the bar to get another wrench XD). I then sent Alice and Smiler out to look at the competition entries (Smiler praising Victor’s pie) while Victor finally got HIS drink from Sara the publican (only fair!). Once they’d gotten an eyeful, I had Alice go dig up a dirt pile I’d spotted looking around the area (turned out to be a mustache fossil – pretty sure they’ve got that already), while Smiler made friends with the mayor and (after a bit of combing through the menus – the Finchwick sidequests are under “Friendly” under “Activities,” everyone) offered to help with her errands. She offered them the choice between the “welcome to Henford-On-Bagley tour” (which, they’ve been living here for both in-game AND real-world years, I think they’re good XD) and “going around asking people if they’re the recipient of this package I put together and then forgot who it was supposed to be mailed to.” XD Smiler took the second and started meeting and greeting around the fair to see who the package belonged to. The mayor’s adopted son, grocery deliverer Rahul? Nope. Kim of the grocery stand? Nope, though they did learn that she’s a Foodie. Fellow fair competitor Thomas Watson? Nope. Sara behind the bar? Nope. Huh. Seems like tracking down the owner of this package is going to be a little tougher than Smiler or I thought! O.o

-->Anyway – while Smiler was making the rounds, I had Alice entertain herself by window-shopping at the various shops in the town square (shame that they don’t actually SELL anything without the help of mods), then play a few games on her phone after throwing away the rotten meat in her inventory (whoops – sorry Alice!). All while Victor had his drink, then (to stop him constantly going back for MORE drinks – I’m starting to think my trio has a juice problem) napped on a bench. He woke up in time for the end of the Fair though, and stood on the green while it all faded away around him, awaiting the results. A few moments later, he learned that he’d gotten a participation ribbon for the pie contest (aw) –

And first prize in the Oversized Crops contest! :D I mean, the mushroom was up against an equally-small lettuce, so it wasn’t MUCH of a victory, but I will take that ribbon! And the extra treats he got from winning – another pumpkin and chocolatey treat, and a spicy treat to boot. :D Nice. Now I just gotta remember to USE them…

[travelling-on-the-octopath]

media with arguably queerplatonic relationships is hands-down my favourite thing because depending on my mood i can be like "no they're not romantic in the typical sense but they're the most important people to each other" or i can be like "these two are so fucking in love it makes me sick." and i hate that that media is so often labelled as queerbaiting, because it's not.

i will say though that i love relationships that are romantic in the strictest sense of the word, in that it's big feelings and deep devotion that cannot be contained and must in big and small ways be expressed constantly.

[lovinggreeniehours]

fleeting and far in-between

↳ trese × xiao

↳ 1.6k words | yay fluff :D

↳ happy anniversary to them 🥳 i don't have much to say about this one, and i'll just let the oneshot speak for itself. also the audience here is new so ill clarify ahead, xiao calls him esper :3 it's more like an alias than a nickname, but yeah, anyway hfsgjfdgj

"We're almost there, okay, I promise. Just hold on.."

Xiao would never do this with anyone else. Dark grey blindfold over his eyes, he walked with Trese's guiding hands on his shoulders. Their collective footsteps were somewhat slow, just to be careful that they wouldn't trip.

Trese, uncharacteristically, had insisted on surprise, so Xiao conceded when asked to travel to said surprise on foot. The terrain was rather rocky, from what little Xiao could sense under his feet, leading him to suspect they were in the mountains. Not that it had narrowed their location down by much, given the numerous ranges scattered across the scope of Liyue.

He found Trese's behavior of late to be intriguing. He very rarely attempted surprises like this, and Xiao's interest was piqued ever since his companion's return from his recent travels. He was obviously excited in the past few days, and made no move to conceal the fact. But still, he'd still made it clear that he would not be divulging his secrets. And so, Xiao hadn't bothered himself to ask. He trusted Trese to explain eventually. In his own time. But he could admit, his patience was beginning to thin under the weight of his growing curiosity.

"Esper."

"Almost there!" Trese insisted. Xiao could hear traces of a grin in his voice. He decided not to question him further.

"Okay, stop here."

So he did. Xiao moved to turn his head, only for Trese's hand to find his cheek, pushing lightly until he was facing forward again.

"Just a second."

Bemused, he counted. One.

A gentle wave of adeptal energy surged and washed over him. He didn't need to remove the blindfold any longer. Xiao recognized where they were.

He could picture it well enough in his mind's eye. A sky suspended in starry, picturesque twilight, drifting from resplendent pink to muted indigo within the span of random minutes or hours. Trees of ink-black bark and silvery foliage littered the area— white poplars that had gone extinct over a thousand years ago. The meadow grass matched the tree leaves in color and sheen. And in the vague distance, there would be a structure of black marble, as well as a gazebo built of the same stone to its east side.

Abodes reflected the countenance of their masters, and this domain was no exception. One could tell from a single glance that this was Trese's.

This domain was a place Xiao frequented often in the past few years. There was only one gateway inside, and apparently, very few people knew where it was. Xiao suspected he might be the only one. At least, he was the only one that seemed to visit.

The abode was often empty, as Trese was off adventuring with the Traveler and Paimon for a good measure of the year. When without much to do, and with his usual roost at Wangshu Inn being frequented by customers and tourists, Xiao began to spend more and more time in the abode. Occasionally, he'd find himself asleep on the heap of pillows in the gazebo. When he'd wake up, he'd be half-dreaming; his bleary vision mixing the monochromatic hues of his surroundings. Lying there in his home, Trese felt closer to him. Even while he was away.

At his side, Trese performed a small snapping motion with his fingers. The soft lilt of a flute began to drift through the air.

"Did you change your abode?" Xiao asked. It couldn't have been by much. Behind the dark grey fabric, Xiao still caught glimpses of the purple-pink sky, and the paleness of the trees.

Trese hummed, thinking. "In a way."

"That is a peculiar response.."

Trese giggled, the sound light and airy. "I'll untie you now, just hold on."

Xiao felt gentle hands carding through his hair. He fought to keep an expression off his face.

"Do not tease me." He crossed his arms.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Trese uttered in a tone that implied otherwise.

Before Xiao could begin berating him, the knot slipped from behind his head, and so the fabric fell from his eyes.

He was wrong. The abode had changed by much.

For in place of the familiar grass were numerous glaze lilies. Hundreds of them, spanning as far as his eyes could see. Sparkling, crystalline blue made up what was essentially an entire sea of flowers.

"..What is this?" Xiao murmured. He glanced sideways at a nervously smiling Trese.

"You used to tell me it was a pity that their numbers have dwindled."

Xiao did not deny that. He remembered that conversation well enough.

He looked down at the glaze lilies once more. In a time long forgotten, Liyue had many meadows just like these.

"Do.. you like it?" Trese asked, sidling up closer to him. "I asked some friends with Dendro for assistance. I did not have enough time to grow them myself. Especially not at this scale."

Now that Xiao was paying closer attention, he realized there was a line in the soil the lilies hadn't crossed. And yet, as he walked closer to inspect it, he realized that this was even more unfamiliar to him: a cliff's edge that had certainly not been there before.

"What is this?" He squinted down at the drop. He could just barely make out the foot of a mountain underneath a layer of fog. Like the rest of the abode, the fog was mystical— so grey that it appeared wisteria; curling about itself like a living cloud.

Trese, standing behind him, planted his chin atop Xiao's shoulder.

"You can choose to part the fog. I just added a window to see what's going on around the mountain while one is inside. If ever you wanted to check."

Xiao felt Trese pull back, and he turned to meet his eyes with question.

"You.. asked if I liked it." He murmured.

Trese nodded.

"But.. Is this not your abode?"

Trese's shoulders sagged a smidge, making Xiao backtrack immediately.

"I did not mean I was displeased."

"I know." Trese mumbled. But his hands were still folded behind his back, and his pout was evident. "I just wanted you to.. feel more at home. In here."

Xiao blinked at that.

Seeing his expression, Trese tilted his head. "What, is it surprising?"

Xiao turned away, his companion's gaze suddenly too bright to meet. Yet the sight of the flowers alone seemed to warm his face anyway.

I wanted you to feel more at home.

As he gathered his thoughts, Trese took a few, precarious steps closer.

"You told me once," He said quietly. "That.. before the war— before everything— the mask that you don now used to be for dance."

Warily, Xiao allowed their eyes to meet. A prompt to continue.

Trese sucked in a breath, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"You had this look on your face. It was almost wistful. As if you were longing or reminiscing a time gone by. Or maybe a time that hasn't quite come to pass yet.

"I know you have your.. reservations, and responsibilities. I can't just wave a hand and take away all your problems, no matter how badly I want to. But I can wave a hand and play you some music. I can make this place bigger. Add more things. I can give you millions upon millions of flowers, if only it'll make you feel a little lighter.

"I only want to give you a home you can turn to when you feel like it's too much." He concluded, sheepishly glancing away. "And I can still change the abode to your liking. I don't mind."

"No." Xiao muttered. He shook his head. "No, you don't have to do that. I..."

His gaze trailed off with his words, the quality of his tone making Trese perk up a smidge.

"I.. appreciate all of this. I was surprised, is all. I never thought I'd be able to see something like this."

"So.." Trese nervously poked his index fingers together. "You like it?"

Xiao felt the corner of his own mouth tick upward ever so slightly. He nodded.

Watching Trese grin, Xiao couldn't help but notice that the music playing around them had accelerated in tempo as well.

"So.." Trese's feet shifted over the silver grass. He extended a hand towards Xiao. "Dance with me?"

Hesitantly, Xiao reached out to meet him, fingers intertwining, their movements tender and slow. Like the feeling he sensed deep in his being. Raw and open and vulnerable in a manner he never would've associated with his own self in a lifetime. The sensation pouring through him was no longer foreign, as it was, perhaps, two years ago, but natural as the blood rushing in his veins; as gentle as the thud of his heart against his ribs.

Maybe he even felt safe. Though his karmic debt weighed on him still, he found that there was not much reason to dwell on it. He could hold fast long enough to enjoy this fleeting moment of respite.

When he found it in himself to raise his eyes to Trese's, the domain seemed to sparkle around them, forming a halo around his partner's face. From the luminous starry sky to the flowers around them. The scene could pass for a dream, if not for the grounding warmth of their joined hands.

"And, you know," Trese added softly. "Don't think that this is only my abode. It's always been yours too. Ever since I gave you the key."

Xiao had no way with words. Not like Trese and his silver tongue. But he pulled Trese's hand to his lips without putting much thought into it, simply relishing the delighted little laugh the kiss got from him.

Xiao realized he himself was smiling back too. He felt lighter than he's ever been before.

[thedaythealienscame]

yeah, if you're really friends then a confession won't change anything whateverrr but. what if it does.