#yes i know the song is about betrayal but if you think about it wouldn't the ultimate betrayal to undertaker be dying

[cedric-k-rossignol]

stood on the cliffside screaming 'give me a reason' your faithless love's the only h o a x i believe in

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts, I saw dramas news. TBH i'm totally disagree with all of those idea about "sides" "betrayal" etc concepts. From my perspective as an asian there's big difference in culture stuffs. Everyone of them, YKJ as well are just one musician. (Being able to live without messing with JP train rush hour are blessing enough LOL). they pursue nothing more than Arts. I think they has much less "self" concept nor "possession". I believe YKJ expect Kalafina's songs to be 気働き as well. :D

Hi there!!

I am not sure I completely understand what you want to convey with your message but I think I am getting the gist of it so I can hopefully provide a suitable response.

I also received a reply from @toshiroukajiura on THIS POST. It's very similar in nature to the above ask so I thought I'd include it here and just answer both in one go.

Your assumption with Yuki is so sad. Yuki kajiura is not a manager. Remember that. Hikaru is under a different management. And Kajiura invited Hikaru a lot of times. Kajiura is a soundtrack composer. Remember that.

All right, let's go...〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

All of this sounds like the two of you are trying to make excuses for Yuki. I don't know why you would "disagree" or consider it "sad" when I am simply pointing out the reality of things. Despite me saying that I wasn't sure if I could be unbiased, I think I've actually made quite fair assessments of the situation, especially in the above post. I tried my best to remain rational and look at everything from an objective point of view. Yuki Kajiura is not infallible and certainly not exempt from criticism, there's nothing wrong about pointing out certain problematic behaviours.

Common themes among those coming to Yuki's defense seem to be

that this is just a cultural thing that cannot be changed and is horribly misunderstood.

that Yuki wouldn't ever do anything petty like this because all she cares about is her art/music.

that she couldn't possibly be pulling the strings because she is in no position to do that.

I would argue that you are mistaken on all three accounts.

Re 1) Yes, their actions are indeed heavily influenced by cultural peculiarities, there's no doubt about that. None of the things we see them do are out of the ordinary for the Japanese entertainment industry. But just because these things are rooted in culture, doesn't automatically make them okay or provide an excuse. The non-confrontational approach with an emphasis on shunning, avoidance and denial, the continuous attempts at keeping things under wraps and sweeping all possible issues under the rug, the passive-aggressive behaviour towards each other with no direct insults but lots of subtle and targeted mini-attacks. Basically mean-girl tactics up to eleven. Very toxic, unhealthy and counterproductive.

This is the essence of the feud between Team Space Craft and Team Yuki. And yes, I keep calling it a "feud" for a reason. It is not a natural thing that should just be shrugged off as harmless. It is a long-lasting dispute between two parties fueled by wounded pride and fragile sensibilities. I have no doubt that Team Yuki was wronged at some point in all of this and I am sure that Team Space Craft has also felt slighted on multiple occasions but throughout all these years, both parties have just stubbornly kept this feud alive, unwilling to make any concessions that would finally resolve it. So yeah, even though I wish it wasn't the case, there are clearly "sides" in this feud and certain associations are seen as "betrayal" and get reprimanded as such. To deny this would just be ignorant.

Re 2) I used to think that Yuki prioritised her craft beyond anything else but recent events (in combination with some of her past decisions) have led me to believe otherwise. She basically abandoned Kalafina (arguably her best artistic project) all those years ago when she decided to leave Space Craft and follow Mori. Was it her prerogative to leave? Of course, she surely had her own interests in mind and thought it was for the best (it probably was, at least for her personally) but the fact remains that Kalafina and its members have had to bear the brunt of this decision and their interests have mostly been ignored. It must have been very obvious to Yuki that her departure would mean an end to Kalafina. With the girls not willing to continue the group without her but also unable to just follow her and revive Kalafina under Yuki's new management, they were faced with a dead-end and forced to make very hard decisions. So we know that the Kalafina project and its members did not mean enough to Yuki to try and arrange herself with the higher-ups at Space Craft. If we assume that all the rumours from back in the day contain at least a grain of truth, then Mori and Yuki did not leave because of some inconceivable or unforgivable thing being done to them, it was mostly petty stuff. For this reason, it is still baffling to me that they couldn't have found a way to navigate around their issues. While I would not expect the execs at Space Craft to have art and the interests of their employees as their first priority, I had hoped that Yuki at least would've felt a stronger commitment to those things, especially considering that the Kalafina project was her baby and the girls gave everything to bring her vision to life. But alas, that wasn't the case.

And even now when she claims that she's tried so much to make a Kalafina reunion possible but sadly with no success, I cannot help but wonder what exactly it was that she could have tried. It probably wasn't a proper attempt at reconciliation. Because let's be real here, I am sure Space Craft are difficult to deal with and they certainly have a bunch of outrageous demands but what could they possibly want that Yuki wouldn't be able to give them? They used to work together just fine with shared rights, shared revenues, etc. I find it hard to believe that something similar can't be recreated now (with different parameters and a little effort from both sides). Yuki is at the top of her career whereas Space Craft have pretty much reached the bottom of the barrel. Why not just be the better person, take pity on the petty old guys at Space Craft and give them what they want? There's no way that Space Craft aren't willing to negotiate something, I mean, at this point they have no other choice. They are probably not smart enough to know that they shouldn't be greedy with their demands in their lousy position but then again, their future existence is most likely contingent on Yuki making large concessions so I kinda understand that they would have rather audacious demands. My interpretation of all of this is that Yuki deliberately decides not to reach out to Space Craft due to being petty herself. If your pride is wounded, you will do a lot of things out of spite, even going as far as to sacrifice your own project.

After Keiko's exclusion from YKL, one has to once again wonder, what is more important to Yuki. Her craft and the quality of her music or her wounded pride? As I have explained in previous posts, I believe that this was mostly Yuki's decision and just a natural progression of the usual shunning process. I am willing to be proven wrong on the matter, maybe it turns out that Space Craft actually have entrapped Keiko in a super restrictive contract but for the time being, more signs point towards Yuki being behind this exclusion. Meaning, she would rather let go of the backbone of her music, instead of finding a solution with Space Craft.

By the way, I was never trying to insinuate that Yuki was completely indifferent to the members' problems. I think she does care about them, at least to some extent. We've seen her provide support on some occasions to Keiko as well as Hikaru and she has given them work opportunities but most of that was actually in her own interest so make of that whatever you will.

Re 3) I think some people may be underestimating the power she currently holds. Even back in her Space Craft days, she was left to her own devices and was pretty much given free creative rein by her manager Mori. She may not have been in charge of all organisational decisions but aside from that, she didn't have to deal with any restrictions. After leaving Space Craft, she founded "Fiction Junction Music", her very own management company. She is the head of this company so in a way, she is in fact a manager and more or less her own boss. Looking at the credit pages, FictionJunction Music is always listed as Yuki's management alongside Highway Star so we can assume they have some sort of shared management arrangement. When you check the Highway Star homepage, you'll notice that Yuki isn't listed under their regular clients, she is listed as "partner artist", this implies a peer to peer relationship. It's fair to come to the conclusion that she is the one who calls the shots when it comes to her activities and that the agency is merely there to help with formalities or to find some new jobs for her. Do they get a say in her decisions, yeah, probably but Mori strikes me as the type of guy who would gladly support Yuki's wish to exclude Keiko for aligning herself with Space Craft.

[lucifers-version]

Lucifer's Speeches to Sam and Castiel in Abandon All Hope

Both of these speeches are so good and are revealing in how Lucifer not only sees himself but his relationship to these characters. As well as how he's leaving out key information in his story depending on how it suits him.

First he speaks with Castiel after trapping him in holy fire.

This is Lucifer's take on fallen angels. Rebellion = falling. Which is absolute and how heaven sees it. He sees a part of his much younger self in Cas, the beginnings of falling.

The emphasis in this speech is rebellion. The fact that Lucifer rebelled and was cast out. It lacks specificity, because the reason for rebelling is relevant for both angels. It's similar but Cas in this moment wouldn't see it this way so he leaves things vague.

And he's right. After Lucifer is locked back up Castiel does become the fallen angel and heaven's main target for YEARS.

The final part of this interaction always gets me because yes, Lucifer is the repeated death of Cas. Most importantly in Swan Song but later as well. This is where that was foretold.

Then he speaks to Sam during the grave ritual scene.

This is the speech where we get some detail. Still omitting a few key points, but this is where we actually get the sense that this was deeply hurtful to Lucifer. This is where he speaks about how close he was with his family and how personal this betrayal was.

I think the biggest line that we really don't appreciate until much later in the show is "All because I was different" Lucifer was different, he was the one God trusted with the mark to seal Amara and it changed him, and after that surely God and the others did look at him differently. They viewed him as a lost cause. Also the "I had a mind of my own" is interesting because it does make me wonder if that meant his mind couldn't be reset or fixed by god or the other angels, did they try?

The rest is a specific appeal to Sam's emotions, pulling on words he knows Sam will react to like "Freak" which he got from Sam in 5 x 03 when Sam confesses to him that he knows he's a freak, and he saw how upset Sam was about that term, so here he applies it to himself to strengthen the connection.

But we see he's very intentional with his use of words, telling the same story to a slightly different tune, all to make sure he is the most relatable and sympathetic to whomever he's speaking to.

With Cas it's words like "rebel" "cast out" "public enemy" With Sam it's words like "freak" "begged" "of my own" "different" "monster"

Then I think another key thing here is "who I loved" first of all, directly implies to Sam that he is capable of love. Which for angels is very different than the human concept. Second, past tense in reference to Michael.

In both speeches he uses his past to relate to the audience and then takes it a step further to imply that similarities in their stories mean they will share the same fate. "I rebelled, and was damned. So if you rebel they will damn you too" "I was called a monster by my brother and he turned on me, well your brother has called you a monster, so how long before he turns on you?"

Anyway just a look at how Lucifer uses words to very quickly relate and manipulate his audience to his purposes.

[thelittleliars]

Would it kill you to smile? At least once in a while?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader (Former lovers; now platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader x Natasha Romanoff (platonic)

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, angst -> fluff?

Words: 1.5K

Summary: Your girlfriend demanded the most difficult task from you. Natasha came to your rescue.

AN: Another one shot since I have not come any further with P.S. I Want You. It hurts me that I do not know what do to with Chapter 3. I just can't seem to get it going :( Anyways I hope you enjoy this little idea that I came up with a couple days ago. (The title are lyrics from the song 'under the weather' by CORPSE)

"Would it kill you to smile?" Your current girlfriend Jade snapped, the frustration and anger in her voice was clear. "I mean at least once in a while?! And especially in pictures!" Her words cute you deep, they broke you in a way that you didn't know existed. You felt angry, sad and betrayed by her. Depression was no joke and she knew what she was getting into from the start since you were nothing but an open book about your long battle with the chronic mental illness. All those nights she was there for you in the best possible way, in the darkest of your days she was the light - you anchor, so you honestly couldn't understand why she exploded like this. 

"Yes." You stated. "Yes it would kill me." Your voice cracked, the pain she caused was obvious but she didn't care for some reason. But even if she did care in that situation, it wouldn't have made a difference. Her words were an unforgiving betrayal that you never thought would happen. "You of all people should know how awful my depression is. How could you even ask that of me?!"

"Because my friends thinks that you're miserable because of me!" She shouted again. Tears started to flow down your face. 

"You could have just straight up told them about my depression! Fuck Jade, the entire world knows about my depression ever since I dated Wanda. It's not even a fucking secret that I had multiple suicide attempts while dating her and she never minded what people said about her because of that. She even encourage me to go with her to interviews and to openly talks about it. The awareness we brought on this topic is insane. It's not a tabu topic." 

Before Jade could open her mouth to shout more cruel words at you, Natasha came out of the shadows and interrupted your conversation. "It's time for you to go Jade." The red head looked at you with deep concern in her eyes, knowing first hand that all of this is extremely triggering for you and she did not want you to spiral badly again. "Fuck off Romanoff, we're not  done here!" That was a huge mistake - you thought. Nobody can ever fuck with Natasha Romanoff, not unless you're Yelena Belova or one of her 'girls'; meaning her extremely close friends that contains Wanda, Maria and you. "Out. Now." Natasha was calm but her voice was ice cold. Though her words wasn't meant for you, a cold shiver ran down you spine. You can only imagine how scary it was to be on the other side of her words. 

"Fuck." Fear replaced the jealousy that ran through Jade's veins. Only when Natasha indicated of making a move on her, she ran away fast without ever looking back. Natasha turned to you with open arms, hugging you dearly to her chest. The feeling of her arms around you gave you the safeness to break down completely. Her hands gently rubbed up and down your back, it was her way to comfort you, no words needed to be said. After a while you finally stopped crying but the black widow still didn't remove herself from you. "Maybe the world really is better without me." It hurt her to hear those words, though you constantly had your up and downs, she believed you were in a good place before Jade blew up. Was she so wrong? Or was it all because of this triggering situation? "Dorogoy, I can tell you with certainty that my world definitely would not be better without you. It would be miserable but if you honestly feel like you can't live like this anymore, I don't have the right to tell you to stay. That would be cruel of me." Your hands that were around her tightened. "I just wanted you to know you're not alone and that the world is definitely not better without you. If you're still not sure then ask Wanda. She of all people knows how it feels like and appreciates you the most."

"Thank you for always being there for me Nat." She whispered a small 'always' before giving you a kiss on your forehead. The two of you stayed in each others arms for another 5 minutes. You then decided it was time for some space. She gave you the room but didn't leave you alone yet, afraid of your thoughts running wild. "Tell you what. We're gonna go to the movies to watch a film and then we'll to your boss about a leave since you need a break. I'll then show you a shield facility that could help get better, if you're up for it."

You shook your head. All you wanted to do was laying in bed and sleep. "I can't Natty. I'm just so exhausted." The other woman nodded. "I understand." She said with a sad smile. She was still determined to not leave you alone with your thoughts so she came with another idea. "What if we watch a movie in my room? Getting snacks and Wanda to join us? You even can fall asleep while we give you some cuddles."  

Relief and appreciation was written all over your face. While you went to the kitchen for snacks, Natasha pulled out her phone and called Wanda, commanding the witches ass to her room. All three of you met in Natasha's room with Wanda being the last one to arrive. "I couldn't find my best fluffy blanket at first but here it is!" She proudly lifted up the white-blue striped fluffy blanket before throwing it into your face. "Thanks Wands. I brought you guys Sour Patch Kids, chips, mini pretzels, popcorn and your favorite sodas."

Natasha let out a mix of a groan and moan. "Way to make a girls knees weak.." The widow said as she made her way onto the bed. You snorted a bit too loud to your liking but also tried to ignore your little embarrassment. "That's not the only way to make girls knees weak." You had a suggestive look on your face which made Natasha blush. Wanda took that opportunity to tease you. "Oh my, who knew you still had it in you?" 

You turned your head towards her as she was just getting onto the bed next to you. "I believe you're just too old to keeping up with me." At that, Natasha laughed out loud. It was a nice to hear it since you liked the sound of her laugh, it brought you a sense of home.

Wanda took slight offense in your words. "I'm only a year older than you!" She exclaimed with a gasp. You shrugged your shoulder. "My point still stands." Wanda rolled her eyes. "Rude.." Shaking your head was the only thing you could come up with as retort. You got under the blanket, which was very soft and fluffy, and held it up for the other two women to join you underneath it. Natasha teased the other red head all while getting closer to you. "Face it Wands, you're getting old." 

"I'm getting old? Should I mention your age Miss Romanoff?" Wanda got sassy in a way you hadn't seen in years. It was endearing to hear the banter between girls that meant a lot to you. The older red head felt attacked by the younger woman, though both knew they said it out of fun. "Don't you dare!"

You interrupted them since you loved putting your input in this banter. They just amused you very much. "Ohh but I dare you too." 

"Y/N no! Not you too." She looked at you with puppy eyes. "I thought you liked me."

"I do. I love your guys' drama more than a movie so go ahead and continue." It nearly brought out a smile of you but the small urge to do so vanished quickly as your mind reminded you that you don't deserve to be happy. They both sensed the mood shift in you afterwards so they changed the topic by deciding which movie to put on. They both choose Encanto, a movie you had yet to see but only heard great things about. You started to cuddle and hug Wanda's side like a koala bear. Suddenly you felt drained again so you closed your eyes. But something was still missing for you to feel at peace. "Nat?" - "Mhm?" - "Could you spoon me from behind?" She came up behind you and spooned you exactly as you requested. "Like this?" Natasha made sure that you were comfortable and didn't cross your boundaries. You quickly grabbed her hand and put around your waist. "Like this yes. Thank you." You felt safe with both of them laying there like that. They both gave you a kiss on your heard, telling you that they loved you. You only hum in acknowledgement since the sound of their steady breaths and the movie noises in the background made you sleepy. You soon fell asleep in their embrace as your heart and mind didn't feel as heavy as before.

[hotpinkrathian]

your last tlok post has me obsessed, any ttpd and rangshi headcanons??

OMG YES

After I made the LoK post I began to spiral down the rangshi tunnel and here is what I got

Florida!!! Describes the time when Kyoshi and Rangi first started to fall in love. Kyoshi became obsessed with the freedom she got with the flying Opera Company. That taste of her power and what she could be was a drug to her. Throw in those moments with Rangi and my girl reminisces about the early days of her "team avatar" adventures. I think it also fits well because she was also very broken at this time, the trauma that was father gloworm and Jianzhu's betrayal is what drove her to this sort of in-between peace.

Fortnight: Rangi core. This is the song that plays every time she has a little moment with Kyoshi. I see this paired with Down Bad and it shows the sort of fluffier side of things before shit goes down when she is PINING after Kyoshi trying to get her attention. Fortnight could also be the fluffier song when they are down by the lake.

Rangi and "I Can Fix Him, (No Really I Can)" would make for an interesting one shot where maybe she has to get her family on board with their relationship. Kyoshi seems broken and malicious but Rangi testifies to her character and is adamant about making Kyoshi the best avatar she can be.

loml from Kyoshi's POV about Yun : (

I also like the vision of Rangi feeling/singing something adjacent to MBOBHFT, used in a context about how Kyoshi is always injuring herself, and rarely makes a big deal of it. I especially like this idea if you *change* the words a little bit and get "only breaks my favorite toys" instead of "his favorite toys" because that feels so angsty to me. Like Rangi loves Kyoshi so much, and seeing how Kyoshi has little to no disregard for her wellbeing, it breaks Rangi's heart a little bit.

___________________________________________

"Stop worrying," Kyoshi said, recoiling at Rangi's touch.

"I have to worry, Kyoshi. I have to."

"No you don't! I never want you to worry about me." Rangi frowned as she helped her girlfriend lay down, pretending not to notice the wince of pain Kyoshi attempted to subdue.

"You don't get, Kyoshi. If I don't worry, no one will. You may not care but these parts of you that you're willing to let go... I love them. I love all of them. I need you whole. So stop breaking yourself."

Kyoshi looked at her with pensive eyes. She looked like she was going to say something, and Rangi almost wished she wouldn't. Things were getting to cushy already and she didn't like the swirl of uneasiness in her gut. She couldn't push Kyoshi into horse stance to shut things down this time, so she'd have to endure it. Even if it meant she shed a couple tears.

But, as Kyoshi opened her mouth, her thoughtful eyes turned into panicked ones. Rangi simply lifted the bucket next to her and brought it before her girlfriends face as Kyoshi began to return her lunch.

"I'll be better," Kyoshi said, in-between dry-heaves. "Because I don't like this part of being injured."

Rangi smiled a little bit, moving Kyoshi's hair out of the way.

"And I know if it were you... I'd be upset, too. Because I love you. And your... parts are my favorite, too." Kyoshi jumbled.

Rangi appreciated the sentiment by planting a small kiss on Kyoshi's head. She looked down at Kyoshi's bloodied abdomen and the knife that protruded from it.

"I suppose," she began, and Kyoshi looked at her without moving her mouth. "That given the circumstances, I can forgive you. Just this once."

___________________________________________

Now OF course, Who's Afraid of Little old Me? Is so Kyoshi coded. It just FITS so well. I need displays of her power showcased to this song ASAP.

People were so quick to rule her out based on the fact she couldn't bend small things. "Poor fragile Kyoshi has a hard time with bending" then Kyoshi gets her fans and is like watch me bitch. Her showing up to bandit camps, slumlords and all the bad gangs at the time to make a name for herself. The world has been without an avatar, they've forgotten to be afraid of the bigger fish. She here she comes, and when she gets a first taste of that blood she doesn't stop. She makes it VERY clear she is not to be reckoned with. Cue the montage.

Finally, I feel like there is room here for The Prophecy, but I'm not quite sure how or where yet. Another one I have to let sit and marinate before it becomes a full headcannon. Maybe it plays more into the old team avatar (Hei-Rang, Kelsang, Jianzhu) than specifically Rangshi though.

Thank you for the ask and I hope this satisfied your TTPD x Rangshi craving : )

[beauty-and-passion]

So... The Underworld Saga

It's cool. But, like, very cool. Honestly, didn't expect these songs to be such bangers, but it was a wonderful surprise, so thanks Mr. Rivera-Herrans for always delivering.

Speaking of the songs themselves:

The Underworld: I expected a slow song, more focused on silence and inner/intimate thoughts. It should've been a song about Odysseus thinking about his past and remembering.

And it was. But not the way I expected it.

Instead of focusing on silence and pondering the existence, this song is basically a scream of sadness and regret, because the ghosts of the past are literally haunting Odysseus. Beautiful, terribly awesome and perfectly coherent to the story until now: several times Odysseus said that he was haunted by his past, that he couldn't sleep at night because of what he did and we saw his choices weighing on him. It only makes sense that, once he's facing his ghosts, he doesn't face them with a slow, soft song but with screams and sadness.

And speaking of sadness: yes, I expected to hear Polites... but I didn't expect to hear Odysseus' mom! It was a very pleasant surprise, even if a heartbreaking one. And if it's true that this part was sung by Jorge's mother, then:

kudos to her voice because it's beautiful - and it makes it clear where Jorge gets his talent

kudos for making everything 20x more heartbreaking, because we literally have a mother singing to her son that she died waiting for him and loved him until the very last moment of her life and still loves him in the afterlife and he's so full of regret because he didn't manage to come back home in time and took him too long and-

_____________

No Longer You: again, another beautiful surprise. I didn't expect to like Tiresias' song this much, but the singer is amazing and I'm pleasantly surprised that Mr. Rivera-Herrans once again managed to find a very good singer.

Speaking of the song itself, I love how it drops tiny spoilers about future events in such a subtle way, by talking about betrayals, last stands and final breaths.

And then, it drops the real bomb (at least for Odysseus): a guy will come home alive, but it's not him. A guy will stay with his wife, a man "who is haunting" and "with a trail of bodies".

Odysseus doesn't realize who this guy is, but I still vividly remember King and we all know it's still him. Or, well, not this version of him.

Seriously, I LOVE this. When I listened to the first snippet of this song, I was a bit confused by Tiresias saying that Odysseus wouldn't come back home alive. Now, it's clear what he's talking about and it makes me feral because it's such a clever choice!

Think about it: if Tiresias hadn't said that Odysseus wouldn't go back home, he wouldn't have questioned himself, he wouldn't have turned into a monster and the prophecy wouldn't have been fulfilled. Hence why Tiresias had to tell Odysseus "you won't go back home alive" and "There will be a different man with your wife", so Odysseus would have the needed push to fulfill the prophecy.

It works so well, it's so perfect and logical, nnnnghhhh, I love it so much <3

And if you think it didn't work: well, Odysseus' angry "WHO?" speaks for itself. Love how it oozes pure fury, it's a perfect foreshadowing of the terror he will bring in King.

_____________

Monster: absolute banger, of course.

I love how, again, we have an introspective song that is not a simple slow ballad. On the contrary: the music perfectly accompanies every step of Odysseus' reasoning. It slows every time he questions himself, when he asks if he should change and become the monster. It grows when he realizes that, unlike him, their foes never felt any remorse for what they did. And it keeps growing along with his resolution, until it slows down again, when Odysseus finally accepts to become the monster. And that's when it ends with a deep, dark drop.

Chilling, amazing, loved every second of it <3

I also loved that a three-minute song perfectly encapsulated the full reasoning of this man. We can follow it in full and, thanks to the narration developed until now, we also perfectly understand why he reached this solution.

This is Odysseus' lowest point. After facing a ton of horrible things, after doing a ton of horrible things, he found out he would never come back home. Being human, being kind, welcoming the world with open arms didn't lead him to Ithaca: it led him to the Underworld, to Tiresias telling him he won't come back home.

Not only this is justifiable from a human point of view, but makes Tiresias' words even more important: it's thanks to them, that Odysseus finally broke and became the monster. It's the knowledge that their long travel will be for nothing, that breaks him.

And it's chilling to hear his voice getting faster and faster, his resolution growing and him literally going from "I can't kill an infant" to "If I have to do it again, I will do it immediately".

If I had high expectations before, they're way higher now. Gosh, the second act of this musical will be insane and I want to be here for it.

So, thank you again Mr. Rivera-Herrans for the delightful songs, the sweet sweet angst and the general hype. You are amazing and deserve the world.

And if any of you haven't listened to the new songs, do it: they are incredible:

[rin-sith]

So, the Ithaca saga and especially song 40 unfortunately disappointed me very much, and I am finally coherent enough to yap about it... I am not even gonna attempt to talk about song 38 and why I pretty much hated it yet; that's for later.

So yes, if you don't want to read about someone being disappointed in this saga, then please stop reading :3

First of all, the performances and the music in this saga were STELLAR. Absolutely breathtaking. Stunning. Second of all, the storytelling and lyricism were extremely weak. To the point where it felt like a betrayal of the brilliance that was the Vengeance saga, and technically also everything that came before.

Idk, maybe I'm dumb and/or missing something, but it felt like an enormous whiplash after everything else in Act 2 so far to the point where I genuinely don't know how to feel.

DISCLAIMER: ALL OF THESE THOUGHTS ARE KIND OF JUST MY CURRENT THOUGHTS AFTER A FEW LISTENS AND MAY SHIFT AND/OR CHANGE AFTER SOME TIME. Please don't come at me; just, I felt really let down by this saga, and I wanted to talk about it.

First, Penelope feels really underdeveloped as a character. Her song (The Challenge) is essentially just a narration of events that doesn't give us much insight into her internal world (the way that character intro songs like Legendary or Wouldn't You Like usually do.) The most personality actually comes out of Lea's stunning performance, but even that can't really salvage something that doesn't have any substance to begin with.

Hold Them Down was ... a positive surprise, somehow. I don't know why, but I genuinely loved that song. The atmosphere is on point, and the performance is easily Alexander's best in the musical.

Odysseus was ... a negative surprise, but also not really. I don't think I'm ready to talk about that song properly yet, but so far it's made me tear up and/or full on bawl every time I listen to it, especially the ending (I have never actually cried over EPIC before.) Do with that information what you will. All I know as of now is that it has to be some kind of disassociation and for some reason, a Polyphemus reprise (I can't even begin to wrap my head around why this, of all things.) I genuinely hate some of the scene- and/or dialogue choices in it; they feel really off. As someone who vibed very hard to both Different Beast and Six Hundred Strike, I disown this song, sorry. All it does is make me want to cry (not in a good way.)

On the other hand, I Can't Help but Wonder is easily my favorite song in the saga. Especially also compared to song 40, the Odysseus & Telemachus reunion felt so genuinely heartfelt. The fact that the transition between songs 38 and 39 is so seamless while also being a 180° tone shift probably means something ... And then there is the Athena return, which is easily my favorite moment in the saga. I was not expecting a WotM reprise, and it was the best surprise in the saga, and it made me very happy. Her "very well" (+ 3 second pause) also broke my heart, but we don't talk about that. The only thing that irritates me about this moment is what Odysseus actually replies to her. Idk how to elaborate on that, because on one hand, he would feel this way after all that he's been through; on the other hand, it's not actually true. Worse, it feels like one of the few thematically significant moments in the saga, but in a bad way somehow.

And then Would You Fall In Love With Me Agagin was ... easily the greatest disappointment of the saga. I want to talk about this one a little more, I think, because I have a lot of things to say.

Disclaimer: I actually ADORE the instrumentals in this song. @glisten-inthedark did some very good preliminary examinations of it, and I don't really have anything to add to that, so go check out her posts if you want. I also adored the vocal performances (but honestly, there is no bad vocal performance in all of EPIC.)

I am strictly going to talk about the lyrics and the storytelling and what kind of impression it gives of Penelope. I don't know, but to me, the whole song feels like he's trying to share with her the things that hurt him (describing them as monstrously as possible, because of course he would.)

Like, on one hand, it is really kind of her to not judge him and to accept him again so readily. On the other hand, the way she phrases it feels really dismissive of his pain ("You’re mine / Don’t tell me you’re not the same person / You’re always my husband")

To me, this sounds essentially like, "What are you talking about? You don't have any problems! Stop telling me you've changed! No matter what, you're still my husband; I love you." (Girl, you don't even know him anymore. I'm sorry, I had to.)

Honestly, I feel like he desperately needs someone to be rational about his deeds, the way that Athena was in God Games (I really wish that he could've heard that somehow ... or that she sits down with him to tell him all of those things in person and why they don't actually make him a monster.) Because while Penelope's unconditional acceptance may feel nice on the surface, I feel like it will only bury the issue and isn't actually going to help with his self-demonization.

And maybe it's just me, but the line "But all of that was to bring me back to you" icked me out. Like, yes, Odysseus would describe it as that; that's not my problem. My problem is that it is never brought back or examined again in the song, because it leaves the impression (at least to me) that all of his deeds are fine "because they were committed for love," which is wrong on so many levels. It actually does the whole story of EPIC a disservice, in my opinion, since so far it's been genuinely brilliant about honestly and rationally making all of his acts feel justified. But this saga deviates from that too, so I don't even know anymore.

I don't know; I am just really disappointed by this song (and technically the whole saga, even though it had some brilliant moments.) I feel like I could probably describe what I wanted out of it at a later point, but my brain isn't functioning enough for that yet.

Another thing that I am unsure of what exactly it implies yet, but it feels significant: Penelope never once calls Odysseus by his name, while he says hers a lot. Very few people in this musical use his name, so I feel like this matters somehow.

Honestly, besides just that song, my main problem is that this saga feels really empty, thematically. Where all of the sagas before have had really strong thematic threads, both in themselves as well as in the grand scheme, this one feels very disconnected and very ... almost undermining everything that Act 2 has built so far. I'm really confused by it, honestly.

Anyway, I am gonna shut up now and probably relisten to it a few more times before we get the actual visuals. Please ignore if you happen to have loved this saga, but I needed to get all of this out of my system.

[quills-of-freedom]

Slow dance with ~

Reiner Braun ❤

If this song doesn't sum up Reiner, his situation and his feelings for you, I'll eat my hat & shoes.

My actual heart, though.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, But I'm busy mending broken, pieces of the life I had before... Before you..."

"You could be my unintended choice, to live my life extended, you, could be the one i'll always love..."

Reiner didn't know which was worse; the fact he betrayed you all those years ago, or that he was still desperately in love with you. Not once did you leave his thoughts for longer than a day at a time, no matter what he had going on. Still plagued with haunting nightmares of you trying to kill him in Shiganshina, he didn't think he'd ever have the honour of speaking with you again. But with everything that's happened and the world now at peace... maybe now he can bring his retribution to an end - because the last four years have been nothing but torment.

The burden of guilt weighed heavy on his back and more than once has he wanted to just end his suffering by his own hand.

He's seen a lot over the years. Pain. Suffering. Death. Betrayal.

But nothing scares him more than the idea you had no love left for him, that you still couldn't forgive him for what he did. He wouldn't blame you, of course. But nothing terrifies an atheist more than the concept of death, and without you, there was nothing after it all. It was all for nothing. Without you, it's just a desolate void.

He remembers falling for you so hard back in cadets. What started as a little crush catching fire and smouldering into full blown love, the inferno like a whirlwind out of control as he tried to calm his racing thoughts about you, knowing all too well it wasn't going to end well. But when he started to forget; when everything mushed together into one reality or the other, was when he had totally gotten lost within himself. And there you were, always there to hold him up when the weight was too much. So of course he was going to call out to your out-reached hand of unconditional admiration and adoration.

The celebrations at the palace were bitter-sweet. Yes, the war was over. Yes, an age of peace had finally begun.

But to the loss of so many lives.

One including many of your friends.

The cruel irony that you could now experience true freedom, by the death of your best friend, of whom, you'd promised you'd both traverse the world together. The innocent childhood glint behind your eyes forever extinguished - replaced by grief.

Eren was dead.

Mikasa. Gone.

No one knew where she'd went. But all that was left now was the gratitude from the people you'd saved. A pointless goal of nothing awaited you. No more fighting, no more dreaming.

You'd all been granted your medals of outstanding service at a ceremony and now as the party begins to extinguish of voices and laughter, Reiner was alone on the terrace. The floor-to-ceiling grand windows illuminating his back as he leans upon the stone balustrade, the cold nip in the air not deterring the exhausted veteran.

"Reiner?"

His heart skips a beat.

He recognised that voice, and would for the rest of his days.

The voice he was terrified of forgetting the sound of. The sweet song of praise that were your vocals.

He turns to see you in your beautiful dress standing at the grand over-the-top door to the ballroom.

"Sorry, I didn't think anyone was out here. It's so bright in there I couldn't see outside." You explain as you go to join him for some fresh air.

"It's alright." Is all he can manage to vocalise over his now trembling body.

He was a fine sight in his suit although the night had taken its toll, his blazer gone and tie loosened, white sleeves pushed up his large forearms. He gazed ahead into the inky blackness of the evening, the dark void where all traumas and nightmares lay in wait.

"I guess a congratulation is in order." You hum. "The fighting is finally over. And you're no longer a titan, right?"

"Right." He affirms with a nod, nervously twiddling his fingers over the balustrade.

"It's strange. We should feel happy, right? So, why don't I feel happy?"

He glances at your pleading eyes, pleading for some wisdom he didn't have. He didn't have it because he was in the same boat.

"I don't know." He swallows, returning his head to face ahead of him. "I guess the loss was too great."

His heart was breaking all over again.

He could feel your pain seeping from your being. That empty pain behind your eyes much like the pair he sees in the mirror everyday. You had always been too precious for this world. And now it was finally all said and done, you couldn't even enjoy it. He knew how much Eren and Mikasa meant to you.

And Sasha.

And Marco.

"y/n, i'm sorry." He mutters. "I'm not the best person to be talking to about this."

"You promised me, right?" Her tone quivers as the song inside changes to a slow-paced tune to begin to draw a close to the evening. "Five years ago. That you'll always be there for me?"

His lips part and he turns to face you, his equally pained orbs searching yours for any hint of a cruel joke.

But there wasn't any.

All he could see were the burning cinders of innocence cruelly pillaged by events that were not by your own doing.

"And you're back now, aren't you?" You continue, filling in his silence as he is lost for words. "Aren't you?"

A tear streams down your cheek, the lachrymose proving to be too much.

Without a word, he pulls you into his chest, his arms that have longed and ached for you for so long, now finally holding you once more as he holds your head against his solid chest, holding you up as you crumble.

"The world is cruel. But it's also beautiful..." You whisper in memory of your friend, your eyes clasping shut as the pain in your chest becomes more intense.

He inhales you before resting his cheek on top of your head, his eyes pleading as he slowly cradles you from side to side. Your skin. Your heart. Your scent. God he'd missed it all.

You had always been the one to hold his chin high when all was lost. And now, he can finally do the same for you.

With a sniffle, you slide your hands up and over his shoulders as he continues to rock slowly, his hands instinctively resting upon your waist as you both begin to dance slowly to the low tune bellowing from within the palace.

His warmth radiates over you; he may no longer hold the power of the nine titans, but you could still feel his great strength and iron will beneath his flesh, as he holds you as if you would be snatched away if he let go for a second.

"I still love you, y/n." He whispers with a dry mouth.

What did he really have to lose?

"I know." She breathes. "I still love you too."

The indescribable amount of pain that has stripped you bare over the years did not show any signs of relenting anytime soon. But now at least... you have Reiner back. Maybe you could begin new dreams. Together.

[buttercupbread06]

1) I want to know more about your Courier

2) you got any lore on Benny’s kid

Okay so for context I have several couriers. Lately, I've been hyperfixated on two of them in specific: Becky (the one you probably mean, pretty girl with red hair) and Faustus/David (the guy with the goatee).

I have lore-dumps about both of them on @buttercupcooks06 but I'll give you some info abt them anyways so you know what I'm talking about.

Becky: NCR-born, she's my Yes Man courier. Short version of her backstory is her being born in a ranch as the second eldest of a numerous family, her older brother dies in Hoover Dam (I) and she becomes a courier because she wants to 1) not be deadweight to her parents, and 2) travel around before she figures out what she wants to do with her life. Her two first companions are Boone and ED-E, but she eventually meets everyone but Cass because I'm lazy and don't like her much </33. She loves science and tinkering with shit, Big MT was a FIELD TRIP for her (also kind of an objectum awakening for her bc. yeah). Big MT also introduced her to Mentats, which she became dependant on due to her brain injury (Benny gave her brain damage and she was frustated about it, and Mentats helped her focus and cope with it, even though she eventually took them out of routine (and fun)).

Absolute robot freak, in a weird little triangle with Benny and Yes Man (oh yeah she saves Benny and they team up and they're business partners with benefits, sorta). Kinda southern but idk how to write the accent. Great with kids and animals. Bisexual. Insane charisma, but also the clumsiest girl in the Mojave. She's the girl in every song and also Y/N and she owns it bc we're both allowed to be cringe. That's the short of the long of it but there's more I just don't KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN BUT SHE'S COOL I PROMMY.

David: He's my friend's Lone Wanderer's twin brother, and my courier. He was raised in Vault 101, and he always felt trapped in the vault. He has issues respecting authority (he respects people because of their achievments, not because he's told he has to), and he was bullied with his brother, so he left when he was 15. It's kind of sad, because him and his brother used to think about how life could be outside the vault, but they grew apart when Collin (his brother) started to get more involved in the community life of the vault and less with his brother. David sort of took that as a betrayal, and he's pretty, so he left without saying anything.

Once outside, he spent some years trying to figure out where to go. Where he could belong, sort of. He has been a raider, he has been a doctor for the Followers, he has been a merc, and between the different jobs and names he's taken during his life, Courier Six got him shot in the head.

Once he learnt about what the chip could do (and after killing Benny), he begun a Yes Man route, but left if half-done. Sierra Madre taught him that anarchy wouldn't work, and it developed into him figuring out that... Freeing Vegas sucks. What's a leader without a following? And that's where Arcade comes in.

+(He met again with his brother in Sierra Madre, only to find out he's BoS now!? Ewww, but they kill Elijah and leave with the gold. He makes Collin swear he'll stay off his path because he knows that they'll be politcally opposed and he doesn't want to hurt him more than he already has.)

Arcade was David's favorite person. David yearns for connection, someone as smart as him who he can talk about whatever, because according to him most people are too boring for that. And Arcade's not boring. Arcade is the coolest most interesting man to ever set foot on the Mojave (except David himself, duh), so of course he HAS to be with him. And they have yaoi. And David brings Arcade love and attention and he makes him feel special, and I think Arcade really wants to be seen. Not seen, I guess, but you can't live a whole life without bonding with anyone. He wants to be discovered and cherished and considered precious, even if the idea is terrifying.

And when he gets comfy, he tells David about the Enclave remnants. Bad idea, because David sees an opportunity to gain Caesar's favor and rule the Legion alongside him.

I mean, that idea had been cooking in his head for a while, but he had the chance right there, and he thought Arcade would understand, eventually, he's smart enough for that.

Except he wasn't, and he ruined the one good thing he had going on.

After that, shit just got worse for everyone but David. He started the Legion path, betrayed all his friends and hurt every single person that loved him, but he became close to Caesar (and started a new yaoi era with Vulpes), so things aren't so bad. Also, his Legion name is Faustus, and the only person to ever know his real name was David was Arcade (aside from people he knew in his childhood).

Post-canon, Vulpes and him assasinated Lanius after Caesar died, and became Caesar and Legatus, which is probably gayer than gay marriage.

He has an interesting personality, I think. Even more interesting morals. It's kind of hard to explain but I think I have a sheet with more lore + I can answer more questions.

Also, yes I'd love to talk about Junior. He originated from me and my friend discussing mpreg Benny as a joke and ending up with a dynamic so good we had to make it serious (mpreg not canon anymore, sad). Junior is the product of one of Benny's early affairs, just when The Tops started working again, and Benny ended up taking care of him because his mom died (allegedly) and his family left him at The Tops' door (Swank found him and Benny felt shitty about throwing the kid out to the coyotes in front of Swank).

So, Benny raises the kid. We've talked about this on the server before: He doesn't do great. Struggles with the idea (and the practice) of fatherhood, kinda neglects the kid, kinda raises him with the chairmen "takes a village to raise a child"-style, et cetera.

But you know Benny, you don't know Junior.

Junior is 6-7 years old and he's in the weirdest point between underprotected and overprotected. He can't go out. He lives in a casino. He's constatly surrounded by adults and hasn't seen another child in his life, probably. Said adults are drunk or high 2/3rds of the time.

He takes pride in how independent he is, as it's something that Benny has unconsciously encouraged all of Junior's life. Junior learns that whenever he's a big boy and cleans his own messes, Benny doesn't get pissed off, and he might even be proud of him as well!

Living in The Strip makes it so he can't really explore or meet people his age, so he finds comfort in the radio, and mostly, books. Loves reading. About anything. Has read cooking books before and will do it again. The number one reason he's not terribly academically stunted is that he is very very bored and very curious. (Taught how to read by Benny and Swank, mostly, but fluid (for his age) at it due to his own efforts and practice. Can count, too).

Junior has no women in his life, as he's motherless and the closest Benny has been to bringing a woman into their family are hookups. So, lil Junior is wary of women. He gets jealous! And he doesn't like Benny bringing in women into their "home" (The room next to Benny's is his, they put a door between them. Like. The room that isn't Yes Man's).

Speaking of, he doesn't know about Yes Man.

And uhm I think that's enough. Hehe ദ്ദി(≧ڡ≦*) (im sorry it turned out this long)

[lycansprites]

I'm curious about your Dr. Singh pmv ideas! What songs do you think you'd use?

⚠ Warning: Spoilers !!

Anon (and anyone reading) I have no idea how far in or if you've finished the show yourself so this is my proper heads up that there will be spoilers below!

SPINNING LIGHTNING SPEED RN OKAY SO I've had one big PMV idea all about Singh following him from Season 1 to Season 3/the Finale since I finished the show; it's an oldie but a goldie, if you've been in fandom space anytime the past 10 years you've probably heard it at least once.

It's that solid undertone of expected betrayal / something catastrophic happening that sells it for me. Singh's spiral is an outright tragedy born of love and a sense of perceived destiny. What starts out as a journey of unwavering devotion to his family then transitions to the determination to save the human race, by any means necessary, once his original motivation is no longer in the picture. In his most vulnerable state- which is saying something, considering how LONG that love had managed to see him through the worst- he dreams up the idea that his purpose, why he's still alive, is to continue to fall down this path of sacrifice. Self sacrifice and unfortunately the sacrifice of life around him for "the greater good". If he couldn't save Rani, then at least maybe he'll save humanity?

I love the lyrics "you'll be safe with me" being repeated throughout the song and is what I mean by expected betrayal. A wolf chasing a rabbit saying the rabbit will be safe with them, or a scientist / doctor chasing an immoral, nonexistent cure and convincing himself, the people around him, and the people he would then hurt or dissect that they're safe with him.

Dear rabbit, my legs are getting weak chasing you The snow fields wouldn't seem so big if you knew That this blood on my teeth it is far beyond dry And I've captured you once but I wasn't quite right So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.

This would focus on everything leading up to Rani leaving him. For the phrasing it doesn't matter if it's showing him and the hybrids or him and Rani but the core of it IS the start of the end; from the day he first finds out that to save his love he'd have to experiment on hybrid children. This is when both Adi and Rani believe the misinfo that hybrids are more animal than human, and thus when they use that to justify sacrificing them for her.

Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave Yes I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind

Where we see our troubled duo learn that hybrids are just as capable of human thinking and human emotion as they are. In the show you can see the IMMEDIATE expression drop when either of them learn this fact; Adi's face just completely falls when Gus thanks him verbally, and Rani immediately turns to concern. This part of the PMV would focus on how differently they go forward with this knowledge. For Adi it's a desperate not wanting to continue his work but still finding it necessary, but for Rani it's backtracking and deciding that maybe taking these lives aren't worth saving her own. I want it to hit Rani leaving and subsequently Adi locking himself in with the blue flowers on that last line.

And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.

Adi tracking down Gus and co, and convincing them to let him tag along to Alaska. REALLY focus on Gus's empathy and kindness in not wanting to leave anyone behind, in his willingness to believe that Adi's turned a new page. There's a lot of instrumental pause between "safe with" and "me" which could be used creatively for this purpose; I'll have to see if anything distinctly fits in my rewatch of the show. Potentially this could be when Adi corners Gus in the Cave and ends up killing Birdie.

We lapse into a very intense instrumental bit here that I would use to sum up the events of the Cave. I imagine everything happens VERY fast from Adi's POV as a man in a great bit of emotional turmoil so I don't want to linger too hard on anything that happens with the tree, just real fast glimpses of the fighting and of the Sick catching up to everyone present.

So rabbit please stop looking the other way It's cold out there so why not stay here Under my tail.

Now we've gotten to Adi's final sacrifice, where everything is literally coming down around them and he manages to save Gus's life properly and without any ulterior motives for the first time.

Um. That's. About it for that one.

The other one is with Daisy Bell

This one would be more about Adi and Rani specifically. For loving too much you'd be willing to lose yourself and in turn the one you love... I think about it a lot. This path was so tragic at every turn and doomed from the beginning but they were so good to each other until they weren't.

And then here's two other songs I've held in the Singh playlist but don't have any real ideas for right now;

I also have some general Sweet Tooth / Gus PMV ideas just lmk if anyone's interested in hearing those too >:D

[imagonista]

ANOTHER using songs from musicals to describe characters from M.O.T.H, multiple songs edition, so this brain dump will be longer than usual. Read if you dare.

"No One Mourns the Wicked" from Wicked - basically all of Manas when Mazzul dies. Just the sections when everyone is talking about how glad they are the witch is dead and how, well, "no one mourns the wicked," not when Glinda is explaining the circumstances of the Wicked Witch's birth.

One section of "No Good Dead" from Wicked ("Nessa....Dr. Dillamond....Fiyero...FIYERO!!!!!!); was relistening to the betrayal episode, the part right after Mirrin passes out and Zed is just...having a mini breakdown, and just starts calling out names, including Y'narri's, and my brain made the connection. Just the pure anguish of failure to help those important to you.

"Something to Believe In" from Newsies - I feel that this song definitely fits Makkaro and Gienne's relationship, just, minus the part that Makkaro is killing people. But the idea of the two of discussing that it was under strange circumstances that they fell in love considering their different statuses, as well as how even if something happens to either of of them, and how they both give eachother something to believe in.

"And if I'm gone tomorrow,

What was ours, still will be!

I have something to believe in,

Knowing you believed in me!

I have something to believe in,

Now I know that you believed in me!"

Note that protesting about newsie wages is MUCH different than murdering people to form a new society. Also Makkaro would NOT be a tenor.

Not any song in particular, but just Makkaro's character is fairly similar to Sweeney Todd; regular men who fell in love with a woman, and then the corrupted government unjustly imprison them and send them away, and once they return/break free, they go on a murder spree. Just take some lyrics from the opening number:

"Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned

Like a perfect machine, he planned

Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,

Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle"

"He served a dark and a vengeful god

(He served a dark an a vengeful god)"

"Dead Girl Walking Reprise" from Heathers - This could possibly be Gienne when she finally realizes that Makkaro's plan is not the solution she wants for the cruelty done by her family. Mostly the first half of the song, since in the second half, that would imply that Makkaro would try to kill Gienne (though, considering the experiments and the circumstances that made him a necromancer, it *could* happen, but I'm not sure).

Specifically these lyrics:

"I wanted someone strong who could protect me,

I let his anger fester and infect me.

His solution is a lie,

No one here deserves to die,

Except for me and the monster I created!"

Though the part when Veronica sings

"I wish we met before they convinced you life is war"

which is in the second half of the song also feels like it would fit Gienne talking to/about Makkaro (and yes, I'm aware that they knew eachother before Makkaro was imprisoned, but the idea of wishing to have stopped the pain someone went through that caused their murderous intentions probably remains) (also, JD in the musical is not as abusive to Veronica as he is in the movie; and it's genuinely sad when he sacrifices himself because he knows he's a lost cause)

"Home" from Beetlejuice - I definitely see this with Zed; it's a song about being lost without a loved one (who died) and how they have no home without them. In the musical it's Lydia's mom, for Zed it would be his sister Y'narri. Though only the first two thirds of the song, since the final third of the song goes from hopelessness to hope, and unless Zed gets at least a semi-happy ending when the series ends, I don't think it would fit. Also also, the song is set in a dimension where the dead are, which is why Lydia is trying to call for her mom. For Zed, this probably wouldn't be the case; connecting him with this song is for more emotional reasons than actual circumstances.

Lyric examples:

"You left, but I'm still standing,

Spinning on this infinite road,

Terrified of letting you go,

No light above and there's no hope below,

And I don't know which way is home.

(Sis) I got my heart in my hand,

Speak to me and I'll understand!

One little word to know I'm not alone,

And show me the way back home."

And

"The nothingness ahead of me,

Is this the end you meant for me?

Every living minute,

There's no home without you in it.

I'm falling!

Quit stalling!

Your (brother) is calling your name!

I've burnt all my bridges again!

"Not One of Us" from The Lion King 2 (yes I enjoyed this movie and the music from this movie, sue me). Basically all of Manas to the Mistwood siblings after Mazzul's death; hatred of the offspring/kin of an evil corrupted ruler. Only difference is in the song, they say "let him run, let him live, but do not forget what we cannot forgive!", and based on what happened to Y'narri, people are NOT willing to let the Mistwood siblings live.

"Made of Stone" from Hunchback of Notre Dame (the staged musical). Just a full song of self-blaming and self-regret. How everything he does just ends in disaster, so he just gives up. Okay, Zed doesn't give up like Quasimodo does, but I interpret he'd at least be in that hopeless mindset.

Okay, and that's all from my musical brain-dump. Hopefully, for everyone's sake, this will be the last one for a while.

[earthgrudgefear]

hidan!!! for the ask game

YES right to it

obviously this is going to be a long post

you've been warned !

favorite thing about them: oh man. i think he's a really unique character. he's only like 2% justified in his anger and he makes it everyone else's problem. he's never depicted as anything BUT evil. the shinobi world is insane right? toddlers are raised as soldiers the second they can hold a knife. and so was he, no different from the rest of them. and the series Doesn't like to push that blame onto people, really early on you hear about all the awful things zabuza did and at the end of their battle he still dies as a respectable shinobi. BUT from start to end with hidan he is ONLY bad. he's doing this for FUN he's not doing it for a mission, he's not doing it because he needs to do it to survive like it was NEVER in question that this guy is JUST EVIL. but you CAN find these human sides to him. he has a Real bond with kakuzu, like they Actually are concerned for each other. in Akatsuki Hiden he meets a kid and he forms a bond with That Kid to the point of giving him funeral rites (burial rites?) when he dies. not as a sacrifice but as someone he cared about. when his village turned on him and he felt REAL betrayal. if he didn't care about them to some extent, he wouldn't still be mad about it. it's just FASCINATING.

least favorite thing about them: i don't even think there's anything i don't like about him. he's so fucking annoying and if i had to deal with him i'd try to kill him too BUT because i don't have to deal with him he's my best friend i like him SO much

favorite line: to be so transparent i like when he's picking on kakuzu for keeping the headband for him.

AND if i can use the book - i like this, it's less about the line itself but more about the repetition of it. like this is how they start every fight and i just think that's delightful

brOTP: y'all already know it's kisame. my defense for this has absolutely no basis in their interactions because honestly? kisame doesn't care for him too much. HOWEVER kisame is the easiest akatsuki member to get along with and hidan is basically impossible to get along with. i think it's a good match.

OTP: kakuhida, motherfuckers. they're everything to me. they were on screen for all of three seconds and i already knew that was it. i haven't been normal about them since. and they're canon as far as i'm concerned. stated or not they were Something.

nOTP: k*nan (sorry for censoring you name queen i don't want it to be searchable) i have such a Visceral reaction to them together i Cannot stand it. their characterization is so BUTCHERED for that ship that they become Unrecognizable. and i don't fucking get it like ??? yes they're both hot PICK ANYONE ELSE. also shipping him with any of the kids. like. that's not cute. he's young but he's not that young also holy shit they don't deserve that anyway

random headcanon: i probably mentioned this somewhere before and it's so easy but i think his favorite color's pink. like red sure because i mean look at him but also. Pink. i like pink for him.

unpopular opinion: i've touched on this before i don't think jashinism is real. i think he made it up and i think maybe he's convinced himself it's real. but i don't think there is a single other person who's ever heard of or tried to join the religion before. there's the kid i mentioned from the book but he learned straight from hidan, and then goddamned ryuki from boruto who i swear to God the writers wanted him to literally be hidan but they weren't allowed. neither of which really compel me to believe it. it just doesn't make tons of sense

song i associate with them: ouuh choke on one another death spells. that's been a big one recently

favorite picture of them:

favorite's a big word but i had this one saved to my phone which is probably good enough

OKAY 10000 points if you made it to the end you win idk what you win but you win

[endlessbittersweetdreams]

SUMMARY: Robyn tries to gather up the nerve to confront Ethan about his infidelity.

SONG CREDITS: "Edge of a Broken Heart," by Vixen.

     Robyn woke up slowly, finding herself in the same position she'd been in the night before. Her head was resting on Jake's shoulder, her right hand settled on top of his chest. Her eyes were swollen, her head felt heavy, and her mind was foggy from sleep. She felt numb as she thought about the events that had led her to Jake's bed once again, and she was grateful for it. Though she did wonder how long it would last.

     As she lay in bed, staring at the window and watching as the curtains billowed in the breeze, she realized just how drastically her life had changed within the span of a few moments. She'd spent three years building a life with Ethan, and now everything had crashed and burned. If he had simply told her that he didn't want to be with her anymore, she could have handled it. Yes, she would have been heartbroken. But at least she wouldn't have to live with the knowledge that he'd been cheating on her. His betrayal hurt more than she could possibly imagine, and she had no idea how she'd ever recover.

     She let out a quiet sigh when her bladder began to nag at her, and she tried to carefully extricate herself from Jake's arms without waking him. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until her foot brushed against his, and she cringed a bit when he began to stir.

     "Mmm ...."

     "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she softly said. "Go back to sleep."

     Jake fell silent and, convinced that he was sleeping once more, Robyn slid out of bed and tip-toed her way to the bathroom. After doing her business and washing her hands, she took a look at herself in the mirror. Taking in her appearance, she muttered to herself "I look like the Corpse Bride," and then freshened up a bit. When she finally stepped out of the bathroom, she found Jake leaning against his headboard with a lit cigarette between his lips.

     "Mornin'," he greeted, his voice rough from sleep.

     Feeling a little uncertain, she gave him a little smile. "Hello. I'm sorry for waking you."

     He gave her a shrug. "No big deal." He patted the empty space on the bed, gesturing for her to join him.

     Robyn hesitated, feeling like she'd crossed a line. She was so used to maintaining her composure, and she'd completely failed at that last night. She hated exposing her vulnerability to anyone. She relented, though, careful not to get too close. When he offered her a cigarette, she declined.

     "How are you feeling?" he asked carefully.

     She fell silent for a few moments, contemplating her answer. "Oddly enough, I feel ... nothing. You'd think that I would be angry or sad. But I'm just ... numb." She shook her head in confusion. "I don't understand it."

     Jake observed her closely. Though she'd slept soundly, she looked exhausted. Drained. And when he looked into her eyes, they were missing the spark that usually filled them. She seemed lost and broken, and it killed him to see her like this. Ethan's betrayal had managed to quench her fire, and he wondered when she'd get it back.

     He put out the cigarette and left its remains in the ash tray, which he set aside on the table next to the bed. "It's normal," he reasoned, and Robyn looked to him for an explanation. "I guess it's a way to protect yourself from becoming too overwhelmed."

     Robyn considered it for a moment, nodding in acceptance. "Is this what it was like for you, when Tess cheated?"

     "Naw. I mean, don't get me wrong. It sucked, and I was hurt. But mostly, I was angry. Angry at her. Angry at Howard. Angry at myself for letting her get close to me."

     "How did you cope?" Her voice sounded tiny and meek, and she seemed fragile.

     "Oh, you know, the usual. I drank and got high. And when the drugs and the drink weren't enough, I went back to my old pattern with women."

     She fell silent for a few moments, frowning. "I don't like getting drunk, I've never tried drugs, and sex is definitely off the table for a while. Guess I'll have to find a different coping mechanism."

     She heaved out a sigh and suddenly got up, walking toward the set of mirrors that hung on the wall across from Jake's bed. She bent down and picked up her ballgown, holding it with both hands as she moved over to the sofa. She sat down slowly, letting out a bitter laugh. "Looking back, I suppose I looked ridiculous in this thing."

     "No, you didn't," Jake corrected her. She didn't look at him, her gaze fixed on the bodice. "You looked beautiful."

     "I gave away my other two dresses. I suppose I should do the same with this one." Quietly, she admitted "I just wanted to feel special. Different. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I wanted to stand out for once."

     Jake wanted to tell her that she always stood out; that the way she carried herself caused everyone's eyes to be drawn to her. But he had a feeling that if he told her that, she'd feel like she was being patronized.

     "I suppose I should bag this up and get out of your hair."

     "You don't have to leave so soon. You can stay here all day, if you want."

     "No. I've already burdened you enough."

     "You're not a burden."

     "Don't you have to leave for work in a few hours?"

     "Oh, that's right. You didn't hear. The restaurant's closed." When her eyes widened with worry, he explained with a chuckle. "Not permanently. The health inspector stopped by, and there are a few upgrades that need to be implemented. The work should be completed by tomorrow, and we're still being paid for the time off."

     "You've already done so much. I can't imagine how much money you lost because of me. I'm --"

     Slowly and patiently, his tone even, Jake argued "Don't worry about the money. It's not that much." Okay. So that was a lie. But she didn't have to know the truth. Did she? "Like I said, you're not a burden." When Robyn closed her mouth, he switched to a different subject. "Are you hungry?"

     "No. Not really. But ... I suppose I should eat."

     "I still need to go food shopping. But Simone's pasta should still be good. You're not allergic to shrimp. Are you?"

     "No."

     Robyn set her dress down and reached for her clutch, pulling out her cell phone. The battery was down a bar or two, and she could see that she'd missed a few phone calls. Three were from Ethan, while the other two were from Chloe and Sam. Not at all interested in hearing Ethan ramble on and on about how worried he supposedly was, she deleted his messages almost immediately and then listened to the ones left by Chloe and Sam. Apparently, Ethan had reached out to them and asked if they knew where Robyn was. And, as predicted, both women were panicking and assuming the worst. She felt awful for leaving them to worry for so long, and she knew she had to figure out some way to make it up to the both of them.

     I'm so sorry to make you worry. I'm fine, and I'm in a safe place, she typed. Her fingers hovering over the phone's touchscreen keyboard, she contemplated the rest of her message. Something happened last night. I promise that I will tell you all about it. I just need some time to figure things out. She was tempted to mention Ethan's secret relationship with Madeline, but she thought better of it. She wanted a chance to confront him, and she couldn't do that if Sam throttled him to within an inch of his life.

     The microwave dinged, and Jake transferred Simone's Pesto Shrimp with Linguine to two plates. Robyn watched as he expertly balanced one of the plates on his arm while carrying the other plate, as well as a mug of coffee, with his hands. He set the coffee down in front of Robyn first, and then he presented her with her meal.

     "I present to you ... Pesto Shrimp with Linguine. It's one of Simone's favorites."

     "Thank you. It looks delicious."

     Jake set his plate down on the coffee table and then ventured into the kitchen, retrieving his own mug of coffee and some liquid creamer. When he returned to the living room, he was pleased to see that Robyn was chewing. He didn't know how big her appetite was, but she had to eat something. Since the other end of the sofa was currently occupied by Robyn's dress, he settled down on the floor instead. Seeing the frown on her face, he eyed her with concern. "Is the pasta warm enough?"

     "It's fine." She sighed, stabbing another piece of pesto-covered shrimp. "I can't hide out here forever. I have to go home. I just ..."

     "You think he'll be there?"

     She nodded. "He does have the spare key. He's probably waiting for me right now." Not that she believed, for one moment, that he actually cared about her. Thanks to his infidelity, Robyn now knew how little regard he had for her. If he were waiting for her at her apartment, it would be for the sake of keeping up appearances. Nothing more.

     "You don't have to face him if you're not ready," Jake reasoned, taking a sip of coffee.

     "I know. II want to get it over and done with. But I don't know if I have the strength."

     He furrowed his brows as he chewed his food, swallowing it before he carefully inquired "You're not thinking of giving him another chance. Are you?" He cringed inwardly, realizing how judgmental that sounded.

     "No! Absolutely not!" Robyn objected vehemently. "I know I have to end it. I do. He hurt me so much, Jake. It's just that I'm afraid that when I see him again, I'll ... I don't know what I'll do. I sound pathetic. Don't I?"

     Poking at her food, she interpreted Jake's quietness as a silent agreement. When in actuality, he simply didn't know what to say. How could he convince her to stop judging herself so harshly?

     "It's just ... I've been part of 'Ethan and Robyn' for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to be just Robyn. I don't know how it happened, or even when it happened, but I lost myself in this relationship." She let out a disgusted huff. "My parents would be ashamed of me. And my sister! I can only imagine what she'd think."

     Jake watched as she absentmindedly moved her food around with her fork, staring down at it as though it could provide her with the answers she needed. He still couldn't believe that he'd found himself in a situation that he had hoped to avoid. And yet here he was, choosing to lower his defenses long enough to provide Robyn with the friendship and consolation she needed. What was he? Her knight in cotton armor? Granted, he was used to picking Simone up off of the floor. But she was family. Robyn, on the other hand, was someone he'd known for a brief amount of time. What was it about her that made him behave this way?

     Robyn was the first to step off of the elevator, and the clacking of her silver heels echoed through the hallway as she began to lead Jake in the direction of her apartment. Her dress was stuffed inside a black garbage bag, which she'd draped over her left arm. She was currently wearing the t-shirt, shorts and hoodie she'd borrowed from Jake. These clothes, combined with her heels, made her feel utterly ridiculous. She could only imagine what her neighbors would think of her, and she silently prayed that Mrs. Jorgensen wouldn't notice her return.

     But her appearance was the least of her concerns. If her suspicions were correct, Ethan would be waiting for her inside her apartment. She knew what she had to do. But she wasn't looking forward to the pain the breakup would create. In spite of his infidelity and the way he'd treated her, she still loved him. He'd been a part of her life for so long, and she found it strange to picture life without him.

     When they came to a stop outside of a door marked 3A, Robyn let out a quiet sigh. "Here we are. Home sweet home."

     Her hand began to shake as she inserted the key into the lock, and she let out a steadying breath before she turned it to the left. She slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside, Jake following closely behind her. She came to a sudden stop when she saw Ethan sitting in one of the arm chairs, and she was briefly distracted when Jake bumped into her.

     Ethan glanced up at them, letting out a breath of relief as he rose from his seat. "Robbie, there you are! Thank God! I was so worried!" Looking her up and down, he took note of what she was wearing. "What happened to your dress? And where have you been? I was so worried!"

     Robyn said nothing as she tossed her belongings onto the sofa. Ethan took a few steps toward her, holding his arms out as though he were trying to give her a hug. But when Robyn stepped to the side and avoided his embrace, he stopped in his tracks.

     "Robbie, what's wrong?"

     She held up a hand, her voice shaking. "Just stay away from me, Ethan!"

     Jake quietly observed the couple as he stood behind Robyn. The rational part of his mind was screaming at him to get out of there; to leave it be. He'd done his part. Right? He'd looked after Robyn. Given her a shoulder to cry on. That should be enough. But he couldn't help it. In spite of everything, he still cared for her. He'd seen her this far. Why not go a little further?

     Ethan tilted his head to the side, giving her a confused look. "Robbie, what's wrong? I don't understand. Where have you been? And why are you dressed like ..." He gestured at her. "... that? And what is he doing here?" He took a few steps toward Robyn, who stepped back.

     Ethan took note of the way Jake hovered around her as though seeking to protect her. He narrowed his eyes at the both of them, working things out in his mind. "Wait a minute. Were you with him all night? Did you sleep with him?" He reached for a piece of paper that he'd left out on the kitchen island, holding it up for her to see. "Is that why you drew this?! Because you've been fucking him?"

     Robyn looked at the item in question, her eyes widening in shock. "You searched through my things?!"

     A flicker of surprise passed over Jake's face as he caught a brief glimpse of the sketch of his likeness. His brow furrowed with curiosity as he analyzed the drawing, the subject matter leaving him puzzled. The sketch captured his features with astounding detail and precision, and he knew that Robyn must have spent a great deal of time working on it. But why?

     Robyn made a move to snatch the drawing from Ethan, but she was too late. She watched in horror as he tore it up and tossed it to the floor, casting a warning glare in Jake's direction.

     "He's the one. Isn't he? He's the one you were sleeping with."

     Sensing where this was heading, Jake stood up straight and balled his hand into a fist. Ethan didn't approach him, choosing to look Jake up and down as though assessing him.

     "You are the one. Aren't you?"

     Tension seemed to crackle in the air. While Jake said nothing, his smirk was all the confirmation Ethan needed. The atmosphere became suffocating, and Robyn eyed the two men carefully. She swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing she had to defuse the situation before things spiraled out of control. Ethan clenched his fists and took a few steps toward Jake, and Robyn scrambled to step in-between the two men.

     "Save it, Ethan!" she bellowed. "I know what you did! I know about you and Madeline! So you can drop your jealous boyfriend act!"

     Robyn's outburst distracted Ethan, whose eyes widened. A flicker of panic crossed his features before he composed himself. He would deal with Jake later. Robyn had backed away again, and Ethan took a step toward her. Feeling disheartened when she held up a hand to stop him, he said "Robyn, it's not what it seems. Please let me --"

     "No, Ethan! I don't want to hear your excuses or your fucking apologies! What I need is for you to get the fuck out of here! Stay away from me! It's over!"

     Not willing to give up, Ethan gave her his best remorseful look. "Robyn, please," he begged. "I made a terrible, horrible mistake. I, I don't know what I was thinking. Look. I'm going to end things with Madeline. I swear."

     "Is that before or after you move with her to Los Angeles?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest, stepping toward him a bit. When Ethan had the gall to give her a surprised look, she nodded. "That's right, Ethan. I know all about your plans."

     "How?" Ethan asked, his voice cracking with nervousness.

     "When you disappeared last night, I went looking for you. I found you and Madeline in the gazebo. I heard everything." Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. Her voice breaking, she shook her head in disbelief as tears began to well in her eyes. "Why, Ethan? Why did you do this? To me? To us?"

     "Robyn, I ... I can't explain it. It was a stupid thing. A stupid, selfish mistake."

     She shook her head. "No, Ethan. I'm not buying it. Cheating on me isn't a mistake. It's a choice. A stupid, selfish choice. Just tell me why. And tell me the truth this time. You owe me that much."

     Ethan was quiet for a few seconds, taking a few steps backwards to lean on the table behind the sofa. He tried to find an explanation that would spare Robyn's feelings, but he came up blank. Running a hand over his face and letting out a defeated sigh, he kept his tone even. "You're right. You deserve the truth. And the truth is ... you've changed, Robyn."

     "What do you mean, I've changed?"

     "Before the attack, you were so ... vivacious. Full of life. Nothing scared you. That's the thing that made me fall in love with you, Robyn: your fire. But after the attack, you became withdrawn. Fragile. Everything terrified you, and you lost that spark that made you so special."

     Jake's mouth fell open in shock and his brows were knit together, the audacity of Ethan's confession leaving him feeling disgusted. Knowing it wasn't his place to intervene, he turned away from them and tried to keep his emotions in check.

     "I was almost killed, Ethan. I nearly died. Those men stabbed me and carved into me. They almost ..." She stopped, unable to continue with that train of thought. "Of course everything terrified me. But I got better."

     Ethan nodded in agreement. "Yeah. You're right. You did get better. But you're still not the same. I miss the fun Robyn. The one who wasn't afraid to take risks and live life to the fullest. You're not the same, Rob. It's like you're a shadow of your former self. And I know it's shitty of me to feel like this, but I can't help it."

     "So you're trying to blame me for this, this ... whatever it is between you and Madeline? If you couldn't handle my trauma, Ethan, you should have walked away!"

     "I didn't want to set your recovery back." Robyn scoffed at this. "And maybe I ... Maybe I was hoping things would go back to the way they were."

     "Well, look at you! The great, big hero, come to save the damsel in distress! Let's throw you a parade!" Robyn stared at Ethan in disgust. "Did you think that I'd forget about what happened; that I'd get over my PTSD and move on, and act like everything's normal? You could have just talked to me! You should have just told me that you couldn't handle my trauma and that you wanted to end things. Yes, I would have been hurt. But at least then, I wouldn't feel so disrespected!"

     "I'm sorry. Robbie. I, I don't know what to say. I messed up."

     "Just how long has this little tryst of yours been going on?"

     "Robbie, I --"

     "How long?!"

     Ethan sighed. "A few months. I haven't been keeping track." Gesturing to Jake, he attempted to change the subject. "Does he really need to be here?"

     Jake turned his head to glare at the attorney, and Robyn began to gesture wildly. "Yes, he does! He's been here for me since last night because he, unlike you, actually cares for me! He's the one who found me crying on the stairs! He's the one who made sure I was somewhere safe and warm! And he's the one who let me cry on his shoulder. And where were you? You were busy shagging Madeline in that damn gazebo, during our masquerade ball!" She quieted down again, turning away from Ethan for a moment as she ran a hand through her hair. "Do you love her?"

     "No."

     "And yet, she's worth destroying everything we've built! Tell me something, Ethan. That open relationship idea that you came up with ... Was it for my sake, or was it just so you could give yourself permission to fuck around with Madeline?"

     When he didn't answer, realization dawned on her. As she walked toward him, she became emboldened. "You didn't think I would really go through with it. Did you? You thought that I would sit here at home, pining for you, waiting for you to throw a few crumbs of attention my way. Same old, reliable, pathetic Robyn. Right? She's afraid of her own shadow! Of course she won't have the guts to sleep with someone else!" She let out a humorless laugh. "But I surprised you. Didn't I? I finally grew tired of waiting, and I took you up on your offer. And when you saw that I was having fun - that I was opening myself up to new experiences - you couldn't handle it. Could you?"

     She was standing close to him now, glowering up at him. She knew that what she was about to say next would be petty and even childish, but she didn't care. Ethan had hurt her, terribly. She might as well hit him where it hurt. "And guess what, Ethan? That lover I found? He was good. Amazing, in fact." Jake lifted his eyebrows at her comment, and he couldn't help the little self-satisfied smirk that graced is features. "He satisfied me in ways that you have never been able to. He took his time with me. Didn't rush me. Held me afterwards. Made me feel safe and special. He did all of the things that you couldn't be bothered to do, and he's the best lover I've ever had!"

     Ethan bristled at her words, and Robyn gave him a smug smile. "You know, I thought that we could discuss this like adults," he retorted, turning away from her and walking away.

     Robyn followed him, unwilling to relent. "You want to talk, Ethan? Let's talk! How many have there been?"

     He slipped into his jacket and then whirled around to face her. "What?"

     "Women, Ethan. How many women have there been? Is it just Madeline, or have you started a collection?"

     Ethan shook his head and straightened his sleeves. "You're being ridiculous."

     "No, Ethan. I'm waking up. For the first time in a long while, I'm thinking with a clear head. I've wasted three years of my life on you, putting up with one empty promise after the next. Listening to you blather on and on about how you want to marry me and start a family with me. Well, thank God you never proposed ... because I, being the lovestruck idiot that I was, would have said yes. And then one day, one year from now or ten years from now, I would have realized that the life I built with you was based on a lie. Given your track record, I would have been one of those pathetic women who's so devoted to her husband that she's blind to the fact that he's been having affairs. Just admit it. Admit that you never loved me."

     "That's not true, Robbie! I --"

     Robyn's expression softened for a moment, a pang of sadness cutting through her rage. But the moment was brief, and her anger returned. Her voice tinged with disappointment, she moved on. "No, Ethan. You never loved me. Love isn't just about words. It's more than flowers and cards, and cheesy songs that mean nothing! It's about trust and respect. You obviously don't respect me, and you certainly don't have my trust. Get out."

     Ethan walked toward Robyn, looking at her pleadingly. "Robbie, please. Don't do this. We can work it out."

     "No, Ethan. We can't work it out. There is nothing that you can do or say that will erase this or, or make it better! I loved you, Ethan! I would have never cheated on you! But you? You've treated me like shit, and I'm tired of it!"

     "So that's it? After three years, you're throwing it all away?"

     "You threw it all away the moment you fucked her. And you know what? She can have you. You can go to Los Angeles with her and build your career.  I don't want you, and I certainly don't need you." Holding out her hand, she lifted an expectant brow. "My key?"

     Ethan hesitated, hoping to delay the inevitable. Robyn could say what she wanted. He knew how he felt about her. Yeah, he'd made some bad decisions. But at the end of the day, he loved her. He wasn't going to give up that easily. He knew that it was a matter of time before he'd win her back. But for now, he'd play her game.

     He reached into the pocket of his pants, pulling out the Scales of Justice key chain that Robyn had given to him on his birthday. As he worked on freeing her apartment key from the loop, he shook his head. "It doesn't have to be this way, Robyn."

     "Yes, it does."

     Ethan reluctantly handed over the key, watching as Robyn stepped away. She turned her back to him, resting her hands on the counter by the sink, doing what she could to keep her emotions in check. She was exhausted and drained, and she feared that her will power would cave at any moment.

     Ethan scowled as Jake stood next to Robyn, fixing him with an almost murderous glare. The lawyer wouldn't lie. Part of him - a large part - wanted nothing more than to beat the bartender to within an inch of his life. But he knew he had to play it smart. He could achieve nothing if he landed himself behind bars. His gaze lingered on Robyn for a few moments before he turned on his heel and walked of the apartment.

     Robyn cringed when the door slammed shut, and she let out a shaky breath as she wiped away her tears. Trembling a bit, she slowly turned around and made the mistake of looking at the rose bouquet Ethan had given to her the night before. Her bottom lip quivering, she walked up to the kitchen island and then apprehensively reached out to touch the soft crimson petals of one of the roses.

     "They're beautiful. Aren't they?" she asked softly, staring at them in a daze.

     Jake watched her closely. "Robyn, are you all right?"

     She gave him a little nod, sniffling a bit. "Of course I am. I'm just fine."

     Jake wasn't buying it, though, and he took a few steps toward her. He stopped in his tracks and jumped a bit when Robyn suddenly lashed out with her right hand and knocked the vase off of the counter. Jake's eyes widened in shock as he watched the glass vase shatter into countless pieces, the vibrant flowers scattering across the tiles.

     Her trembling hands balled up into fists, Robyn fought back tears as she realized the depth of her emotions. She had devoted so much time to Ethan, and for what? She felt stupid and pathetic. And while she'd love to put all of the blame on Ethan's shoulders, she now realized that she'd allowed it to happen. Her anger, previously directed at the vase, shifted inward. And as the shards sparkled on the floor, it was as though every piece represented her broken dreams and shattered heart.

     "Robyn --"

     "I'd better clean this up," she said wearily, brushing past Jake to retrieve the broom and dustpan from the closet.

     "Let me."

     "I can do it. I made the mess. Let me clean it up."

     Jake watched as Robyn went through the process of cleaning up the broken glass, sensing the weight of her emotions. Her hands were still shaking slightly as she gathered the remains of the shattered vase. Her movements were methodical and precise, a physical representation of her need to regain control over her emotions.

     She dumped the remnants of the vase into the garbage can, and then she bent down to pick up the roses. A flicker of remorse danced across her face. She stared at them intently, contemplating the memory they represented. Her expression hardening with determination, she tossed the roses into the garbage. She knew that she was being wasteful, but these roses were a painful reminder of their failed relationship. They would only serve to taunt her with memories of her time with Ethan.

     Now that the glass and roses were cleared, she turned her focus to gathering up the pieces of the sketch. She'd poured her heart and soul into that drawing, attempting to capture the light in Jake's eyes and the sly smirk that drew a corner of his mouth upwards. Looking back, she realized how foolish she'd been to keep it in her desk drawer. But how was she supposed to know that Ethan, the man she'd trusted, would search through her belongings? She knew that she could put the pieces back together. But it, must like her heart, would never be the same.

     Robyn set the pieces of the sketch down on the counter, deciding that she would deal with them when she felt up to it. After a moment's hesitation, Jake stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Silence filled the room as Robyn reached up and rested her hand on top of his, a gesture of gratitude. Exhausted and at a loss for words, she stepped into the living room and settled down on the sofa. She heaved out a sigh, feeling as though the weight of the world were resting on her shoulders. Jake settled down in one of the arm chairs, watching her closely. She reached into her clutch and pulled out her cell phone, typing out a quick message to Sam and Chloe.

     Ethan and I are over. I broke up with him. If you're not busy, I could use the company.

     When she took note of the furrow in his brow, she gave him the smallest hint of a smile. "I'll be fine, Jake. There's no need to stay with me if you don't want to. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

     A soft meow captured their attention, and they watched as Luna strolled into the room. With her off-white fur, warm gray shading, and brilliant blue eyes, she was the picture of feline elegance. She made an adorable trilling sound as she jumped up onto the sofa and greeted her human, blissfully unaware of what happened just a few minutes ago. With a gentle brush against her hand, Luna urged Robyn to acknowledge her presence. Robyn gave Luna a soft smile and pulled her close, feeling her heart warm a bit as the feline began to purr with contentment.

     "That must be the famous Luna," Jake commented with a gesture.

     Robyn nodded. "Yes. She's the one good thing that came from my relationship with Ethan."

     Purring contentedly, Luna nuzzled Robyn's face as though saying "Cheer up, human. I'm here."

     An hour later, Robyn was curled up on the sofa and wrapped up in an afghan. In spite of what she'd said, Jake had insisted staying with her until her friends arrived. He was sitting in the arm chair he'd occupied earlier, and it seemed as though Luna had taken to him. Currently, she was curled up on his lap, purring contentedly as Jake alternated between stroking her back and scratching beneath her chin.

     As touched as she was by his concern, Robyn couldn't help but feel like she was a burden to him. He should be out and about, enjoying his day off. Instead, he was stuck babysitting her. She'd mentioned as much, but he had shrugged off her concerns and joked "Oh, yeah. I had big plans today. Grocery shopping and laundry. So exciting." When she opened her mouth to say something more, he'd held up a hand and said "Look. I'm staying. Deal with it," with that smug smile of his. She'd finally given up. In truth, she was grateful for the company.

     A soft knock sounded on the door, and Robyn made a move to get up. But Jake beat her to it, carefully setting Luna down before he stood up. He looked through the peep hole to be certain that Ethan hadn't returned, and then pulled the door open for Chloe.

     Chloe's eyes widened in surprise. "Jake! What are you doing here?" she asked before she brushed past him.

     "Always good to see you, too, Chloe," he joked, closing the door.

     Chloe gave him a remorseful look. "I'm sorry. I'm just surprised." Eyeing the afghan-covered lump that was curled up on the sofa, she assumed that Robyn was sleeping. And so, lowering her voice a bit, she inquired "How is she?"

     Jake heaved out a sigh and shook his head. "She's been quiet, and she hasn't had much of an appetite."

     Robyn's tone was flat as she announced "She's also awake." She sat up slowly, giving Chloe a tiny smile. "I'm so glad you're here, Clo. Where's Sam?"

     Chloe gave Robyn a hug and sat down next to her, holding her close. Rubbing her shoulder through the afghan, she answered "She's on her way. She's just picking up a few things. Putting together a comfort package."

     "Alcohol and ice cream, I take it?"

     Chloe nodded. "And plenty of chocolate. All of your favorite snacks." She paused for a moment. "I know this is a stupid question. But how are you doing?"

     Robyn let out a shaky breath. "Not so great." And then, as though remembering that Jake was still in the room, looked at him. Giving him a thankful smile, she added "But Jake's been looking after me, and I don't know what I would have done without him."

     Chloe followed Robyn's gaze, and she couldn't help but pick up on the romantic atmosphere that seemed to fill the room. Taking note of the longing in the bartender's eyes, Chloe fought the urge to smile. It seemed that her suspicions about Jake's feelings for Robyn were valid after all.

     Jake felt a little awkward under the women's gazes, a rare thing for him. A slight flush gracing his cheeks, he decided that now would be a good time to make his exit. "Yeah. Well, I'm glad I could be there for you. I'm gonna head out," he stated, pointing a thumb to the door behind him.

     Robyn stood up from the sofa, leaving the afghan on the sofa. Taking a few steps forward, she favored Jake with a genuine smile. "Thank you, Jake. I'm sorry you were caught up in all of this, but ... thank you." She made a move to unzip the hoodie, but he stopped her.

     "Hang on to it for a while. I have others." Jake had surprised even himself. Since when did he ever practically give away his favorite hoodie? What was wrong with him?

     Robyn's hand stopped over the zipper. "I'll return the clothes to you as soon as possible."

     Jake gave her a nod and a smile, watching as she returned to the sofa and her afghan. Bidding a silent goodbye to Chloe, he opened the door. He was about to step out when Chloe called out to him.

     "Hey, Jake! Wait up!" She walked up to him and gave him a meaningful look as she continued. "Those elevator buttons can be kind of tricky. We keep telling the supervisor about it, but you know how the can be." She looked back at Robyn and gave her a wide smile. "Be right back, Rob." Robyn gave her a confused look and watched as her friend and the bartender exited the apartment.

     Walking next to Chloe, Jake let out a soft chuckle. "Broken elevator buttons? Is that the best you could do?" he teased. "What's on your mind?"

     They came to a stop outside the elevator, and Jake leaned against the wall. He gave her an expectant look, and she fidgeted a little. Trying to choose her words carefully, she settled for "You have feelings for Robyn. Don't you?" Sometimes, the blunt way was the correct way.

     Jake maintained eye contact, refusing to allow any trace of vulnerability to show. "What makes you say that?"

     "The way you look at her, for starters. And then, there's what you did for her."

     "She's been through hell. Someone had to be there for her."

     "And you were. Jake, most guys would have ditched her when they realized they weren't getting something in return. But you? You stayed with her and took care of her. You act like that's nothing. But to Robyn, that's everything. You were there for her. Don't act like it's because you didn't have anything better to do."

     Feeling uncomfortable, Jake averted Chloe's gaze. Why did she have to be so damn perceptive? "Am I that obvious?" He looked back at her, and she gave him a "Boy, please!" look.

     "If it's any consolation, she feels the same way." Jake's eyebrows turned up in surprise, and she said with a chuckle "Like you didn't know. Look. You didn't ask for my advice, but I'm giving it to you anyway. Robyn is going through hell right now, and she's going to need some time to heal."

     "So what you're saying is --"

     "What I'm saying is ... give her time. Be her friend. And then, when the time is right, let her know how you feel." She eyed him carefully. "Do you think you can wait for her?"

     He contemplated Chloe's advice, weighing the pros and cons. Did he believe that he had the patience and understanding that would be required? Was he willing to be just friends with Robyn, even though he wanted so much more? Was he up to the challenge? What if he waited for her, only to have things blow up in his face like they had with Tess? Was Robyn worth the cost?

     Jake took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I think I can."

     "Good. Because Robyn's worth it, and she deserves someone who cares about her. Speaking of Robyn, I'd better get back in there. Take care."

     The blonde turned on her heel and walked in the direction of Robyn's apartment, while Jake pressed the elevator's DOWN button. A ding sounded a few seconds later and the door slid open. With a sense of determination, Jake stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. Leaning against the railing, he thought about the road that stretched out before him. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, but what Chloe said was true: Robyn was worth it.

@anastacia-lynn

@peageetibbs

@kimmyiewrites

@mypsychoticlove

@ladyredstar1991

@thepaintedlady00

[high-voltage-rat]

Posting my RvB Project Freelancer playlist because I have brainrot about some of these songs and also crave public opinions on them.

This playlist was built with two things in mind- the badass space marine vibes, flashy fight scenes, and fast-paced action that embody the freelancer arc, for one. Some songs I included primarily because they contributed to this overall energy that Freelancer was based around. That feeling of flying through the battlefield, guns blazing, with no regard to the danger. The kind of confidence that lets you jump off a building without worrying too hard about how you'll survive the impact- that lets you face an entire base worth of enemies and still crack jokes as they surround you. The kind granted by a ranking system that tells you "you've been chosen. you're the better than the rest. you're on the leaderboard."

But the other motivation, in perhaps direct opposition to the first, was the set of underlying narrative themes that poisoned the Freelancers from within.

(Further discussion, Spotify link, tracklist, and choice lyrics under the cut:)

The ignorance, intentional and otherwise, to the purpose of their missions- to the Director's true motivations, to the ethical principles being violated with every step, to the thinly veiled lies. The need to prove oneself- to stay on that leaderboard no matter what the cost, to remain worthy of approval, of power, of support that could mean your very survival. The betrayal and infighting to remain on top, to right the wrongs done- the break between the agents who valued loyalty and those who valued morality. The manipulation by The Powers That Be to participate in and perpetrate the horrors of war, to stain one's hands with blood and commit horrible deeds which ultimately have no purpose- believing the lies of 'us versus them', throwing away your innocence and believing that it's all for the greater good, only to discover that the people you've done these horrible things to are no different, no more evil than yourself. Eventually breaking free from those influences, despite the potentially lethal consequences, and being left with the near-impossible task of trying to become 'good' again. All of these were themes I tried to keep in mind and channel in this playlist. Bonus points touched on were the impact of AI on their hosts' physical and mental health, the quest to gain justice, and the attempts to find peace and be better after it's all said and done.

I found that while my primary focus was on the Freelancers themselves, a fair number of the songs applied just as well, if not better, to the simulation troopers and even the soldiers of Chorus. I enjoy that this kind of highlights how the main message kind of echoes through all the RvB arcs. I also think it's a notable point that a lot of the songs that I used to portray the manipulation and abuse of the Freelancers by the men in charge have the real-world messages of highlighting wealth and social inequality and abuse of the working class by the rich. This isn't something necessarily explicit in the RvB canon- but the vast majority of military recruitment comes from their exploitation of the desperation of the working class. This real-world issue has echoes throughout the story- in the Reds and Blues, yes, but also in the Freelancers. They say multiple times, "The Director's given us everything"; they've been lifted up, granted a better life, but it all depends on remaining in line, staying in the good graces of those with power. They eat, sleep, breathe because of Freelancer- they live on the ship, spend their whole days submerged in it. One wrong step, and they're back to having nothing.

Anyway, without further ado, here's the playlist lmao

True Friends- Bring Me The Horizon

I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you // 'Cause I'll forget but I'll never forgive you // Don't you know, don't you know? // True friends stab you in the front

2. Go To War- NOTHING MORE

With every battle we lose a little more // Remember everything that we'd die for // You are everything that I'd die for

3. Only Us- Thrice

Finally when will it be enough // To find there's no them // There is only us // There's only us

4. Wicked Ones- Dorothy

This night ain't for the faint of heart // For the faint of heart, for the faint of heart // This night ain't for the faint of heart // 'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart

5. Saints of the Sinners- The Faim

When jokers smile and angels cry // We lose ourselves and lose our minds

6. All Eyes on You- Smash Into Pieces

Now the whole world's watching every move // Still your heart so much to prove // Fight for all the things that you believe in // Now the whole world's watching every move // Take your shot, don't act a fool // All you've got and all you'll ever need // Is one bullet in the chamber

7. Used To The Darkness- Des Rocs

Now would you pray before you twist the knife? // Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life? // I'm too damn young to give up on the light // I'm used to the darkness, I'm used to the darkness

8. Can't Go To Hell- Sin Shake Sin

It's no mystery, what can I say, we're blind by design // And history keeps getting paid to change it's mind // Some wounds will never mend // Divided by deception, but together we must rise // Deafened by the naive while we silence the wise

9. 12 Rounds- Bohnes

'Cause I fight for everything I die for // Everything I bled onto the ground sacrificed for // When the reaper comes knocking at my door // We'll be going 12 rounds

10. Hold Steady- The Glorious Sons

What ya think? // I do it for free? // Either you're lyin' // Or you must not think much of me // I gave you my soul // I gave you my bloody, ragged soul

11. Chosen Ones- Mountains vs. Machines

We are, we are the chosen // We are, we are the few // The end will never come // We are the chosen ones

12. I'm So Sorry- Imagine Dragons

So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go // You'll never be loved till you've made your own // You gotta face up, you gotta get yours // You never know the top till you get too low

13. Machines- All Good Things

Hands to the sky I swore I'd try // Searching for a better life // They would take us far from home // Far from all the things we know

14. The Kids Aren't Alright- Fall Out Boy

And with the black banners raised // As the crooked smiles fade // Former heroes who quit too late // Who just wanna fill up the trophy case again

15. Man or a Monster (feat. Zayde Wølf)- Sam Tinnesz

It's so hard to tell which side you're on // One day is hell, the next day is the dawn // The lines are blurred, you keep rubbing your eyes // The tables turn, now it's time to survive

16. Spaceman- The Killers

And you know I'm fine // But I hear those voices at night sometimes // They justify my claim

17. Down (feat. Trella)- Simon

All the secrets that I keep // Like a bomb inside of me // I've been waiting to be free // All the shades of who I am // Try to catch me if you can // I just slip right through your hands

18. Mars- Sleeping at Last

As life replayed, we heard a voice proclaim // "Lay your weapons down // They're calling off the war // On account of losing track // Of what we're fighting for"

19. What Are We Fighting For- The Federal Empire

The price of our freedom // Is blood in the water // We’re looking for hope what will it take // We keep on repeating // The fate of our fathers // Somehow there’s got to be a change

20. Follow My Feet- The Unlikely Candidates

There's a fork in the road in front of me // At the crossroads of identity // The Devil is standing to the left // He says "either way, they both lead to death" // And the high road's steady and steep // And the low road's easy and deep // Guess I'll follow, follow, follow my feet

21. Hysteria- Muse

Yeah, it's holding me, morphing me // And forcing me to strive // To be endlessly cold within // And dreaming I'm alive

22. Go Get Your Gun- The Dear Hunter

And to those who'll die, please try to understand // That for those who die, we tried the best we can // With our one foot in the grave // While the other one's kickin' its way right down to Hell

23. The Fear- The Score

I've battled hard with the face in the mirror // Every scar makes me dig down deeper // Push it 'til there's nothin' more // 'Cause I'm stronger than I was before

24. Lunatics and Slaves- Sin Shake Sin

Hate what they tell you to hate // Love when they say it's okay // Still, you have nothing to say anyway // And you don't even know you're a slave

25. Try Honesty- Billy Talent

Sew up my eyes, need no more // In our game, there is no score // Forgive me father, why should ya bother? // Try honesty, try honesty

26. Blood On Our Hands- KNGDAVD

So walk with me and you will see // That your enemy may be your remedy // 'Cause we all got blood on our hands // But we still got hope in our souls

27. Free- Mother Mother

A bloody war // Behind my eyes // I come out right on the other side

28. Back Against the Wall- Cage the Elephant

Blanket of silence makes me want to sink my teeth in deep // Burn all the evidence of fabricated disbelief // Pull back the curtains, took a look into your eyes // My tongue has now become a platform for your lies

29. Spirits- The Strumbellas

I spend a lot of nights on the run // And I think, oh, like I'm lost and can't be found // I'm just waiting for my day to come // And I think, oh, I don't wanna let you down

30. Blindness- Metric

I was a blind fool // Never complained // All the survivors // Singing in the rain // I was the one with // The world at my feet // Got us a battle // Leave it up to me

31. Champion- Barns Courtney

I've been on a long road // With the devil right beside me // Rising with the morning sun // It's a hunger that drives me

32. All These Things That I've Done- The Killers

Another head aches, another heart breaks // I'm so much older than I can take // And my affection, well, it comes and goes // I need direction to perfection, no, no, no, no

33. Imaginary Friends- Des Rocs

Do you wanna leave me here? // With you 'til the end, imaginary friends // Give in to the fire and the fear, the liar in your ear // And you'll never be lonely again

34. Dear Dictator- Saint Motel

And at the trial, there'll be no jury // And all the dead are going to play witness // Not too late to say you're sorry // It's too late to truly mean it

35. False Confidence- Noah Kahan

Why won't you take me seriously // Look at me all fucked up over someone I'll never meet // And I wonder why I tear myself down // To be built back up again

36. Villains, Pt. 1- Emma Blackery

I don't feel anything // Because I became possessed and obsessed // With the idea of revenge

37. Woke Up A Rebel- Reuben And The Dark

I am wild, I am lost // I am sick, I am damned // But I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand // So I tighten my fist // And sharpen my teeth // It's a promise I made // It's secret I keep

38. Revolution- John Butler Trio

So tell me family now what do you think // Watch it all go down the great big sink. // Watch how the scum it rises to the top. // Don't you wonder when it's all gonna stop? // Sometimes I wonder how we do sleep, // Serving the dodgy companies we keep. // All kicking and scrounging for the very first place // Dictionary definition of a rat race

39. Survivor Guilt- Rise Against

Carry on // Don't mind me // All I gave was everything // And yet you ask me for more // Fought your fight // Bought your lie // And in return I lost my life // What purpose does this serve?

40. Pressure- Muse

Get out of my face, out of my mind // I see your corruption // I'm not blind // I'll carry the burden and take the strain // And when I am done I will make you pay

Note for anyone who actually read this far or looked at the selections here: yes I know these selections and bands imply something very specific about me, and the idea of some of these more popular and overplayed songs being paired with my melodramatic write-up might be laughable. I feel the need to qualify by promising my taste is not just the basic "action movie trailer" vibes or early 2010s radio hits this playlist sort of lets on... but these are the songs that make me Feel The Vibes and part of the vibes is the inextricable fact that I watched the Freelancer Saga in 2011-2012 when I was an edgy teen listening to Linkin Park and Fall Out Boy on repeat daily. Just be glad I branched out more than I did 11 years ago for this one.

[yvesdot]

7, 23, 69!

7. David Guetta ft. Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue)

I'm glad we got this out of the way first because I actually didn't realize that this was a controversial take (it's not; it topped charts in 20 countries). I have had two coworkers in the past week press me on this, including one who said, "so, when you're walking to work, you just think to yourself, 'I want to listen to I'm Good (Blue) by David Guetta?'" To which I said, yes, definitely, that's exactly the point, so I don't kill myself on the way there. And then the next day I had that exact thought and listened to it.

Even if that hadn't happened, I probably would have evangelized this song. I think the original is wonderful, and I'm glad it exists! This makes it easier to play in a party context, and it matches the lyrical content to what has always been the "feel" of the song. It also kicked off an unreasonable amount of pop songs trying to do what it did, which is impossible, because Blue (Da Ba Dee) is probably the only song which could be adapted for the better (or even neutral) in this way. It's just such a weird song. I like this version! Now the rest of the post goes under a readmore for my crimes.

23. Terror Jr. - Come First

I got my own, don't need to roll me a blunt Don't ask me questions like you care if I'm dumb (Oh?) Take my treasure in your hands Better get with the program I'll let you stay if you do something I like

Does anyone remember in 2016 when this random band emerged and people started speculating that the lead singer was Kylie Jenner? It wasn't, and that seems to have ended popular interest, but the songs were genuinely fun and bright, and I missed listening to this one. I love how the singer enunciates and the little "whoop"s, and the production seems to predict my later love for SOPHIE, whom I hadn't even heard of at the time. This was a good year for diving into my old obsessions.

P. S. This is why my mother is set at "Terror Sr." in my phone.

69. Olivia Rodrigo - vampire

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't 'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand

Rodrigo is the new TSwift in many ways-- a young up-and-comer sold on her relatability and simple lyrics about betrayal by demonic ex-boyfriends-- and I am loving it. There's not much to say on this track that hasn't already been said a hundred times better; it's just plain a good song and GUTS was a very fun album.

send a number from 1-112 and I'll give you a song from my "looped in 2023" playlist!

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 66 THEON VI (pages 827-839)

Theon's poor life choices (trusting 'Reek') come back to bite him.

-

...It's interesting that Theon keeps referring to it as Ned Stark's bed, Ned Stark's room, like even in his victory it's still not really his.

"Do you know a better way?" "Aye. I'll take my axe and stand on that drawbridge, and let them come try me. One at a time, two, three, it makes no matter. None will pass the moat while I still draw breath." He means to die, thought Theon. It's not victory he wants, it's an end worthy of a song.

The Ironborn are so dramatic.

... Sonovabitch! Don't you hurt Beth!

"O, I know," said Theon." It's a dish I tasted myself, or have you forgotten? I was ten when I was taken from my father's house, to make certain he would raise no more rebellions." "It is not the same!" Theon's face was impassive. "The noose I wore was not made of hempen rope, that's true enough, but I felt it all the same. And it chafed, Ser Rodrik. It chafed me raw." He had never quite realized that until now, but as the words came spilling out he saw the truth of them.

Yay! Why am i cheering over such a horrible confession? Oh, because Theon is finally reflecting on himself and identifying the root of some of his issues. This way lies character growth and emotional and mental healing.

... I don't know that Theon would enjoy being a brother of the Night's Watch, he's like GoT Jon, but more about the being in charge specifically, he probably wouldn't enjoy working his way up the ranks very much.

"- I had to pull him off her and shove my clothes into his hands-calfskin boots and velvet doublet, silver-chased swordbelt, even my sable cloak. Ride for the Dreadfort, I told him, bring all the help you can. Take my horse, he's swifter, and here, wear the ring my father gave me, so they'll know you came from me. -"

No one asked what you were wearing Ramsay. Why you gotta make it weird like a product placement in a CDrama? (Thanks for finally confessing your identity, assbutt!)

... A moment of silence for Cley Cerwyn. We didn't have him for very long, be he seemed nice.

Theon had given his word. This was not a time to flinch. Pay him his pound of flesh and deal with him later. ... The Bastard's backhand caught him square, and his cheekbone shattered with a sickening crunch beneath the lobstered steel. The world vanished in a red roar of pain.

This is a far more emotionally impactful betrayal than the show. D&D really undercut how out of control Theon's arc was going with their quips. "Thought he'd never shut up." "It was a good speech, didn't want to interrupt." It also undercut the loyalty (such as it is) of the Ironborn, and Theon's intelligence. Like yes it was a bad idea from the get go, but Theon was actually doing really well with the whole capture and hold of Winterfell for the most part. He was confident and in charge, not nervous and stumbling manically through a hype speech.

D&D suck at their job = 🥛

The last thing Theon Greyjoy saw was Smiler, kicking free of the burning stables with his mane ablaze, screaming, rearing...

*squints* why does that sound familiar? I think there's a house with a flame maned horse for a sigil, but I feel like I know that because I was looking for a burning/fire horse for a reason... one of the prophecies? Maybe? Meh, it'll come to me or it won't.