#yes i included her alien gun and the one time she got to tell off monel ☺️

[michaun]

SUPERGIRL (2015-2021) ↳ Season 2 Alex Danvers

You're a badass, Danvers.

[sadnesslaughs]

Humans have no souls. Their entire consciousness is stored within an organ called the brain. They have no afterlife. This, of course, terrifies all the other races.

(A response to a writing prompt)

“You’re looking a little green, Kermit. Something wrong? Don’t tell me you didn’t expect to be negotiating with a human.” Eliza knew none of the aliens in the room expected to see her. She was only filling in for her boss, using her soulless identity to strike fear into them. Eliza loved that feeling, seeing these scaley green aliens’ glance at one another, unease spreading throughout the trio. She was outnumbered and out-muscled and yet they feared her. That was the type of power a person could drown in.

“He said he would be meeting us in person. We didn’t expect to deal with his second in command.” Fralo spoke, his one eye searching the office for a seat. Eliza didn’t offer her guests a seat, discovering that making the other party stand during negotiations moved things along far quicker. It also worked as an excellent tool of discomfort, making them squirm on their feet when things got tense.

“Yes, we had a change of plans. He should have notified you. Seems my lovely boss has a few officers on his ass, so until he can pay them off, I’m stepping in. Should only be a few days, enough time for us to get this over with.” She lied. This was a strategic swap. Her boss understood the soulless unease that stirred throughout the planet. Knowing this new discovery had caused discomfort among the aliens that now shared a planet with these human husks, as some had called them. While Eliza’s boss felt a hint of unease around her, he wouldn’t throw away a wonderful asset over unease. He would take full advantage of it.

“He didn’t mention his replacement would be soulless.”

“Ouch, hurtful, but I’ll ignore it since I called you Kermit earlier. 1-1 on the scoreboard, let’s keep it at that.” Intentionally she used human terms, wanting to keep them constantly guessing. If their minds were on anything other than the negotiation, she would get a better deal.

“Hurtful? It’s a fact. Your kind have no afterlife, no redemption. You will die and cease to exist.”

“True. There’s an advantage to that. Do you know what it is?”

“What advantage could you have?” Fralo’s voice box hissed; the crunching sounds of the translator implant not able to disguise his curiosity.

“I don’t have to answer for my sins. Everything I do will receive no judgement. The only people I answer to are my boss and myself. If I shot all three of you in the head, my soul wouldn’t be tainted, since it doesn’t exist. I’m free, in every sense of the word.” For added effect, she unclipped her gun, a fancy red tipped, T24 Raz shooter pistol, slamming it onto the table. The aliens flinched, Fralo’s two guards reaching for their weapons, only to lower them when they saw Eliza make no attempt to pick up the resting gun.

“We aren’t intimidated, human. Let’s not waste time. What are your terms for the negotiation?”

“$50,000 Huxal’s for the explosives, that’s including our discreet delivery fee and the fee for my time. I don’t haggle, so take it or get the fuck out of my office.” She twisted her left wrist, metallic clinks grinding in her fake hand. Again, a tactic to make them uncomfortable, the sound grating enough to humans, let alone a creature with sensitive hearing. While Fralo could hide his discomfort, the two aliens at his side made it obvious her intimidation tactics were working. Their earlier quick draw, building her confidence further.

“$50,000? Impossible, Grabstining us.” Tria, the guard on Fralo’s left side, spoke, her English a lot simpler than her bosses. Even with a translator, most aliens found it hard to speak complex sentences, her use of an alien swear adding to the simplicity in Eliza’s mind. While Eliza didn’t think much of Tria, she knew she would be the hardest of the three to kill. That heavy body armor making it impossible for her gun to penetrate her chest. It would have to be a headshot, meaning she would be the first to die if things came to that. Pity, she found Tria to be her type, strong, scary and a follower, not a leader.

“We should kill her right now. Send a message.” Namopi smirked, his flat nose snorting as he pointed a gun in her direction, waving it around in an infuriatingly novice way. The right guard had less class. In human terms, he would be deemed a wannabe. She could tell from the way he waved his gun that his accuracy was pitiful. Thirty percent hit rate at this angle, less if she ducked behind a desk, she estimated. He would be last, Eliza already having the shot order planned in her mind.

“No, it won’t come to that. $50’000 is expensive, $35,000 is our last office, unless you plan to sit on a pile of explosives? Every day, you hold them, adds additional risk. If your boss is already being investigated, a stack of explosives would be the evidence that locks him away, right?”

“Right.” Eliza gritted her teeth, annoyed she had lost some ground here. They were sitting on a pile of evidence that would ruin them and while Tria and Namopi didn’t read between the lines, Eliza did. Huxal had subtly hinted that he could tip off the Unified task force about this business venture of theirs. She knew moving that much stock would be impossible. She could hide half of it before the task force arrived, but not all of it.

“So, $35,000 Huxal’s?” Fralo offered, moving a three fingered hand towards her.

“No, $50,000. Who says I don’t have another seller?” She knew they would question her about this seller, so she didn’t let the alien speak up, instead she answered the question for him. “A human colony down on Valibona. Apparently, they aren’t happy about this soulless discovery and our planning to destroy part of the planet in response.” She knew Valibona well. It’s where she had been dumped after her parents died of hyperthermia or something of the sort. She had been told it had another name, but what did a crying eight-year-old care for proper terminology?

“Valibona? We have a family there. Lots do. Can’t.” Tria stared at her boss, hoping he wouldn’t let this happen. Eliza did her best not to smile, feeling her heart flutter. Kind too, what a catch. Shame business came before anything else, not that it would have worked out.

“How disgusting. That’s a haven for those who have been displaced by disasters and tragedy. They wouldn’t do that. Where would they get the funds? Why?” Fralo was annoyingly pragmatic, still Eliza knew he was willing to believe this, especially when she reminded him of the human soul.

“Why not? No soul to stop them. It’s a pity too, if we don’t find a seller, I’ll have to hide it on Valibona, which leaves it free game for anyone that stumbles across our hiding spot. I mean, I don’t care what happens, I don’t have any family there. I would rather make a deal now, though, saves me a lot of paperwork. Funny how we still say paperwork, who uses paper anymore?” She mused to herself, exaggerating her disinterest in the potential issue of Valibona. She knew Valibona was fine. No scary humans were going to cause trouble, she knew that, but they didn’t.

“What if we go to the Unified task force? A tip off and you would-“ BANG, Namopi didn’t finish the thought, getting his head blown off by the gun on her desk. Eliza lowered the gun but didn’t drop it onto the table. “We don’t allow talk like that at our negotiations. That’s a rule for any group, even yours.” She had them now. She had killed a member of their gang in cold blood and they couldn’t even react. If they did, they were breaking their own code. Everyone knew you didn’t mention snitching, especially when a deal’s going south.

“Fralo.” Tria held her gun, hands shaking as she panicked. They couldn’t think now, not with the blood of their colleague at their feet. Any chance for a clever deduction got lost in the chaos. Fralo would have loved to kill Eliza, yet he couldn’t. If he did, it would ruin their reputation. These things needed to be handled with tact, and Namopi hadn’t shown that.

“$45,000. You killed one of ours.” Fralo had to keep his dignity. If he took the offer at full value, it would have been like accepting her spitting in his face with a grin. Eliza knew that, so she didn’t push it, slouching back into her spot.

“$44,750. I’ll take some off since you’ll have to clean your friend out of my carpet. Send the money to the usual place by midnight. If I get any wind of foul play, you know where that shipment will go and I assure you, they won’t stop it.” She pointed them to the door, focusing on Tria as she left. Shame she left, Eliza thought before she returned to the body on her floor. “Hope they clean it soon.”

She found her phone, making a call. “Boss, jobs done. Sold it for $44,750. Yeah, it’s $4,750 more than you asked for. You said I can keep any extra, right?” When she heard his response, she grinned. “That’s why you’re the best. Should be in the usual spot, get someone to keep an eye on them, though. They were getting jumpy during it.” With that, she hung up, waiting for the cleaner to come and fix up her office.

[nyehilismwriting]

happy friday have some family bonding ig (warning for mild hadea c2 spoilers)

---

The room is cold. Lack of heating, combined with the vast, endless vacuum of space outside, has the temperature heading rapidly for freezing, what little power they have valiantly struggling to pick up the slack the ship’s main supply has dropped. Rohan shifts in xir seat, pauses when the movement draws several pairs of eyes to xem.

Actually, xe thinks, xe’d take the cold expanse of space over the look the other operative is giving xem right now. Probably equally hostile, and no doubt less vindictive. Xe sprawls back insolently in xir chair, flashes the operative a smile with too many teeth and doesn’t let it falter when the temperature in the room plummets a little further.

Nash, for their part, doesn’t react beyond their deepening scowl, arms folded across their chest, eyes never leaving Rohan. It had been intimidating, at least for the first… eight hours? But now xe’s pretty sure they won’t actually do anything, not until their partner wakes up.

That, of course, is the thought xe keeps returning to, the one that nags at xem unrelentingly, ringing in the silence. Xe doesn’t even realise xir attention’s drifted, eyes going distant, until a dull throb of pain shocks xem back to the present, xir hand pressing against the bruises still livid on xir throat. Nash is watching, eyes tracking xir hand movements with something approaching satisfaction on their face, and Rohan has to force xemself to linger with the movement, resists the urge to flinch away. Instead, xe tilts xir head, bats xir eyelashes at the operative sitting across from them, and taps lightly against xir pulse, drumming xir fingers over the purple-black skin.

“You could at least buy me dinner before staring like that.”

They don’t take the bait. Someone else does, though, an irritated scoff ringing across the room. Both Nash and Rohan turn, eyes flickering to where the captain leans against the counter. She’s watching their little exchange with narrowed eyes, chin propped on her hands, and at their attention she smiles coldly.

“Pretty sure I specified no killing on my ship. Loudly. Multiple times. Isn’t that what I said, Ki-Ha?”

“That’s what you said,” the mechanic agrees mildly, perched on the counter beside her. Rohan’s pretty sure the rhythmic thumping noise xe’s been hearing for the past hour has been his heels kicking against the cupboard door below, grating on xir nerves. Xe’s not exactly in a position to tell him to cut it out, though.

“Thought so.” Leanna’s smile remains icy as she looks back at them. “Just thought you two could do with the reminder.”

Rohan manages a smile that’s twice as nasty as her own, and throws in a lazy salute for good measure. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m expanding that to include provocation to murder,” she replies breezily. “Stop being annoying. It’s… annoying.”

Ki-Ha smirks, the expression fading quickly as Rohan laughs. “Yes, ma’am,” xe says again, sprawling further back in xir chair and winking at the captain. Nash’s sneer isn’t lost on xem, a look xe pointedly ignores to focus on the amused smirk Leanna can’t keep hidden. Won some points there, at least.

Not that it helps xem out of xir current… predicament. Nash may be willing to keep their weapons to themself - and shit, they’ve got a lot of them, reluctantly pulling out at least three guns and more ammo than any person could possibly need, only handing them over at Leanna’s insistence - but once their partner wakes up, all bets are off, and Rohan knows it. Xe chews xir lip, sinking deeper into xir seat as the room lapses into awkward silence once again, broken only by the soft breathing of the little girl. She’s curled up in the corner, on a sofa more comfortable than the hard plastic chairs Nash and Rohan have. The pilot and the alien are sitting beside her, Rhaxa a hulking shape beside the two dozing humans despite the way he’s folded himself up. Orange-red eyes gleam in the dim light, and Rohan tears xir eyes away, trying not to shudder.

Maybe xe can do something - steal an escape pod? That seems… unlikely to work out. Not only because Nash is watching xem, hands twitching every time xe moves, but because xe doesn’t know how to operate an escape pod, and that seems like it might prove to be a fatal flaw in that plan. Perhaps xe can convince someone to look out for xem, watch xir back, but-

Xe’s touching xir throat again, pressing down lightly on the bruises that ring xir neck. This time, when xe meets Nash’s eyes, xe doesn’t bother to put on a show, just drops xir hand onto the table with a dull thud. Nash looks thoughtful.

Rohan doesn’t like it.

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried to kill them yet,” they say softly. There’s surprisingly little censure in their voice, just a mild curiosity that chills Rohan more than xe expected. “Wouldn’t be too hard, would it?”

Rohan ignores the loud throat-clearing from across the room, gives Nash a wry smirk. “Maybe I’m just waiting for you to fall asleep.”

They tilt their head, the pale emergency lighting gleaming from their eyes, glistening on the blood that still stains their skin. “Or you could steal an escape pod,” they continue softly, and Rohan’s not sure how good a job xe does at disguising xir expression. It’s a logical train of thought - not like Nash could have known what xe was thinking. Just a lucky guess. Xe lets xir head loll back, rolling it round to smile sideways at the operative.

“It’s crossed my mind. I haven’t decided yet.”

The tilt to Nash’s lips is unexpected, unbalancing. Matches xir own, steeped in bitter intent. “Let me know when you do.”

“I’ll keep you updated.”

Across the room, Ki-Ha drains the last of his glass, places it on the counter and slides to the floor. “Well,” he drawls, clapping Leanna on the shoulder as he passes. “This should end well.”

Half-hidden in the shadows, Rhaxa makes a sound suspiciously like a laugh, lost in the hiss of the door as Ki-Ha leaves. Rohan rolls xir head back to grin at the ceiling, Nash’s eyes still boring a hole in the side of xir skull.

This should end well, indeed.

[katnip225]

SBI alien au

Read a lot of alien SBI stories so here is my take. Only an outline and doubt I will ever fully write it out.

So in this au, Wilbur is the human and the rest of sbi (including Tubbo and Ranboo) are the aliens

The interspace committee does state that Earth is off limits but as you know, crime exists everywhere.

Wilbur has been in space for about a year before meeting SBI

Wilbur met Eret first, an alien who looks pretty close to a human except for their eyes. Eret helped Wilbur escape the ones who abducted Wilbur. Wilbur was locked up for about 2 months before Eret rescued him.

Eret and Wilbur stuck together for about a month before the two were forcibly separated. Eret did teach Wilbur a lot about space and left with him contacts to fool other aliens about his species. As long as a body scan was not done then no one will know.

Wilbur was able to get a ship and started to do some not legal jobs to survive. He was able to get a ship with a really advanced computer (at least to him. In reality it was a really old ship but to Wilbur it was really advanced) that was able to help give him knowledge that Eret was unable to in the short time they had

Wilbur was looking for a way to get to Earth but sneaking in would be tricky. There are guards watching Earth and Will does not want to risk getting caught.

Wilbur stayed under the radar for 7 months alone. The only way aliens know of him was by the nickname Siren.

One day, he was hired to do a mission that would pay him good and let him get some parts to update his ship. The catch being he has to work with SBI (another group that does a lot of not legal jobs) .

Wilbur agrees, figuring that it would be a one time thing and the reward was too big to pass. (Little did he know that getting involved with the SBI just means getting adopted)

So this would be where the fic would start (if I was writing a fic but really don’t have the energy to do anything but something like this)

It would start with the SBI getting noticed that they will be working with Siren. Tommy and Tubbo are really excited to meet this mysterious alien.

So SBI is given the comms number to contact Siren.

So the group talk about the mission and agree to land their ships next to each other.

SBI is surprised to see that Siren is a Fulzul (that is the name of Eret’s species). While they can do some cool things, from the little information they have of Siren the things they can do is nothing that a Fulzul can do.

Siren goes straight into what they think would be a good plan for this mission. Phil and Techno add in some suggestion from knowledge they know about the planet they are on and soon a plan is formed

The group makes some small talk and does some banter as they head to the mission site. Ranboo’s species can sense emotions so he can sense that Siren is really nervous and scared.

During the mission, SBI see Siren in action. They notice he does not use the abilities that Fulzul can do. Siren uses mostly stealth and persuasion. Siren sees how SBI work together and their abilities

Things go well until the very end. Something happens that causes the group splitting off in groups of twos and running off. Tommy and Tubbo, Techno and Ranboo, Phil and Siren

So everyone has to stay low for awhile and it is here that Phil gets to learn some more about Siren.

Phil starts to figure out that Siren really has no one to help him. During the mission there were some signs but Phil chalks that up to a person doing solo missions a lot. But as he sees more of how Siren acts and a few comments from Siren, Phil sees that Siren is alone. So Phil starts to ask some questions

Siren does answer most of the questions honestly. (Wilbur only lies when something can be used to reveal that he is human. It is easier to keep track of the lies that way)

So Phil learns that Siren lost his family at a young age and has been surviving by himself for most of his life. SIren did have a few friends but they are unable to communicate now (mostly because Wilbur’s phone got damaged plus no phone would work in space. )

Phil feels bad for Siren since no one should be alone. And since Phil is a serial adopter he decides that Siren will be his newest chick.

Meanwhile the others are placing bets on how long it will take Phil to adopt Siren. Ranboo is the one who wins

So Phil tries to get Siren to agree to stay with the SBI but Siren is like no. And Phil is please “Please” repeat cycle for the next 5 mins

Phil does relent since as much as he wants the new chick, he can’t force Siren

So everyone is able to return to the ships and they go their separate ways.

Well they try to go their separate ways since soon they are being chased by some space pirates

Cue spaceship fight

Fight ends when Siren notices that the space pirates have really done some damage to SBI’s ship. He has quickly grown attached to the group and does not want to see them hurt so Siren quickly gets the attention of the pirates and gets them to leave the SBI alone

The others get worried and as soon as the ship is stable they chase after Siren. How do they know where Siren is, Tubbo put a tracking device on Siren’s ship

They soon find Siren a few planets over from the one they did the missions. Siren’s ship is pretty badly damaged. Luckily he was able to hide from the space pirates.

When Siren sees SBI he is like “WTF are you doing here. I got their attention so you guys didn’t have to get hurt”

SBI is like “Like hell we wouldn’t make sure you are okay”

Siren is like “I am fine. Ship is a no go through. “

Phil is like “Well if you want, we know someone who can fix your ship but it is a way’s travel”

Siren agrees but states as soon as his ship is fixed then he will leave

SBI is like “Got it. So bets anyone on how long until Siren says he wants to stay with us”

SBI’s ship is much bigger than Siren’s ship and also has a place for ship’s to dock. So Siren’s ship is placed there.

Things are a little awkward at first since Siren is not used to others and mostly stays to himself.

Tommy is the one who gets Siren to leave his room.

Cue some nice fluffy moments with the group

Siren is now very conflicted since he wants to stay with them but is scared if they find out he is human.

They get to the ship repair person who is Nikki. (yes in this au she can both bake and repair a ship. Plus I need to have the syndicate)

So Siren’s ship is almost repaired when the space pirates show up again.

So the space pirates are led by Sally. Big fight happens which ends up with Siren getting seriously hurt and being knocked out. Soon Techno tackles Sally to the ground and gets her crew to stand down.

Once things calm down, the group finds out why the space pirates are attacking them. Turns out a few missions ago, Tommy and Tubbo from Sally. That itemed turned out to be one of the first devices her son (Fundy was adopted by Sally) made. They chased after Siren since they sensed the object on his ship. Turns out the tracking device was the device or at least a replica of it.

Phil scolds the boys for doing that. Tommy and Tubbo apologize and return the device.

Sally offers to help heal Siren since she does feel bad for hurting someone who had nothing to do with what happened.

So they put Siren in the medbay and find out he is human since they did a body scan.

So now they are panicking since they have no idea how to heal a human. Also, how did a human last this long without anyone knowing.

Nikki remembers that while fixing Siren’s ship there were many features that she had no idea what the purpose was. They might be related to Siren being human.

So they bring Siren into his ship and luckily it seems the ship’s computer can talk them through what to do.

Cut to Siren waking up in his ship confused as hell. Also with the thought ‘need to get my contacts out now and get some eye drops’

Unfortunately the others are there so he can’t really do that without revealing his secret

Well the group explains what happened and slowly Siren remembers what happened. And dread slowly grips him as he realizes that his secret is out.

Finally the group tells them that they know he is human. Siren quickly pulls out a laser gun and points it at them while quickly backing up. The others are shocked but they can easily tell he is doing this out of fear.

They try to explain that they are still friends and they won’t tell anyone but Siren is too much in a panic state to really listen. All he knows is that he could end up like he did when he was abducted.

Tommy asks the ship if it knows anything that can help Siren which it does.

So the group calms Siren down enough so he can listen to what they are saying.

Siren does have some doubt but figures they could have just done something while he was panicked so he relaxes a bit.

The others ask him what he needs. Siren asks for them to get his contact case on the sink in the bathroom and some eye drops. Siren then takes out the contacts and puts some eye drops in

Phil is like “So that is how you fooled everyone though still surprised you survived this long. How did you know about the Fulzul?”

Cue backstory time of Siren’s time with Eret

Siren does reveal that his real name is Wilbur.

He answers some questions about earth including what a siren is.

Techno gets really interested since he is a big mythology guy and wants to hear more about this greek mythology

Wilbur agrees to stay with SBI since they know his secret now. He does say he does want to return to earth since he has some friends that most likely think he is dead.

SBI agrees to help Wilbur out but do say they will figure out a way for him to talk SBI while on earth.

The group does keep in touch with Sally.

Do have more ideas but they really don’t have endings. They are more start of ideas so will leave things off here.

The others idea are SBI learning about humans, a story involving las nevadas, meeting Eret again, Sally and Wilbur getting together, and Wilbur giving a tour of Earth to SBI and any others that wanted to come

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 6

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!) Guest starring Nick Fury and Maria Hill

Summary: Peter works on cracking your shell and Rocket just still doesn't like you. Oh, and Fury pays a surprise visit and you accidentally poison Yondu- Oops!

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: I think I knew from the moment I read this post I knew I needed to include something like it in this fic, especially knowing one of my readers had also suggested somewhere that they thought it'd be cool to see how the Guardians reacted to Terran food lol

Word Count: 5,617

You came back inside through the back door more than half an hour later, having decided to run a quick coat of stain over the bed frame pieces. The sooner you applied the stain, the sooner it would dry, the sooner you could apply the varnish. Not that you were in a hurry or anything... You just got excited over having a project, that's all. You totally weren't stalling on going back in the house, or anything.

Peter was sitting in the kitchen with Gamora. The others had seemingly all dispersed by now.

Peter looked slightly disappointed. "Saved you some cookies."

You were slightly taken back in surprise. "Oh, you didn't need to."

"You bought them, I wasn't just not going to save you a couple." Peter said with an odd look. "Anyway, thought you said you were coming back?"

You grimaced slightly and accepted a biscuit from the package in Peter's outstretched hand. "I did come back... I just got caught up with something."

Peter eyed you for a moment, as if he were considering something. He tilted his head, a slight smirk forming. "Are you shy or something?"

You blinked at him. "What? No-"

"Kinda seems like you are. I mean, before you avoided us because you were all cranky and hated us, but you don't seem nearly as cranky today. Heck you even seemed to almost like us today. So the only reason I can see for you to still be avoiding us is that you're shy."

Gamora raised an eyebrow at him, but after a moment's thought, almost seemed to agree with him and turned her expression to you. She didn't think he really believed you were shy. Rather, she figured he was accusing you of being shy to make you come clean about the real problem. He did similar stuff like this all the time to trick Rocket into talking when something was bothering him. She often wondered where he learned it from, until she witnessed Yondu doing the same to Peter one day after he and Kraglin joined their group.

You shook your head at them. "No. That's absurd."

Peter nudged Gamora in the arm. "That's cute. I think she's shy."

"I'm not shy. That's dumb. My line of work doesn't exactly mix with shy." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest in annoyance.

"Methinks you protest too much," Peter teased in a sing-song voice.

You narrowed your eyes at him before turning to Gamora. "Is he always like this?"

Gamora half smiled. "Yes... but he might stop if you told us why you keep avoiding everyone."

You sigh. "Look, it's just going to take some time. I'm not trying to avoid anyone, well, not anymore. Just... being around and interacting with a bunch of people is just... not something I'm used to."

"So you are shy." Peter said, his grin almost smug, but mostly teasing.

You sigh in Gamora's direction and she grins sympathetically. "I'm sorry about him."

Before you could respond again you heard a knock at the door.

You looked towards the sound in confusion at who it might be, because you never got visitors. However, you quickly switched to alarm when you realized you had a house full of aliens and no idea who was at the front door. You look out the kitchen window, but you couldn't see a vehicle.

They knocked again.

You turned back to Peter and Gamora. Preferably you'd want to tell them to get everyone to the cellar, but you were concerned on time and knew the curtain was open on the front door window and didn't want to risk whoever it was seeing a bunch of figures fleeing to behind the staircase to the cellar door. You directed Peter to go upstairs and make sure whoever was up there stayed and remained quiet, while you directed Gamora to head into the sitting room, close the door, and do the same while you checked the front door.

Another knock.

You looked at the window of the front door. It was the type of glass where it distorted finer features of subjects, but even with that obstacle, whoever was there seemed to be purposefully standing to the side so they couldn't be seen.

Once Peter and Gamora were out of sight you kept a hand on the knob and tentatively asked, "Who is it?" You eyed the small table by the door where you kept one of your issued guns well hidden. Just in case.

"Fury and Agent Hill. May we come in?" His tone was slightly sarcastic on the second line.

Dammit Fury. You rip the door open. "You ever heard of calling first?"

"No." Fury said flatly, then more sarcastically, "Nice to see you too." He looked around as he entered, seemingly expecting the house to be teeming with more life than it currently seemed. "Where are your charges?"

"I wasn't expecting company. I hid them," you say almost irritably, walking to open the sitting room door, telling those inside that it was alright, it was just Fury. You walk over to the stairs and look up to see Peter peering over the railing and nod to him in a gesture that meant that he and anyone else up there should come downstairs.

When you turn back to Fury he was smiling.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. Of course it was a test, and you complain as much. "Everything's a test with you, isn't it?"

"Not everything," he said. "You should have been expecting us for a weekly check-in."

"You neglected to mention that," you said, slightly embarrassed because you honestly should have expected check-ins even without being told.

"Oh. Must have slipped my mind." Fury said with a wry smile. He knew full well he didn't mention it.

You roll your eyes. "Nothing slips your mind," you confronted, turning now to Maria. She only offered a smile back that clearly said, 'Perhaps if you hadn't been so cranky last time...'

Peter came down the stairs with Mantis, Rocket, and Groot and everyone filed into the sitting room. You caught sight of Kraglin and Rocket again and still had to cover you mouth to fight from laughing before you turned away and tried to keep your face serious. This, of course was much to Kraglin's chagrin and Rocket's annoyance. Yondu noticed and gave Kraglin another strange look, which Kraglin only responded with a shake of his head and an expression that read, 'Please, don't ask.'

Fury spoke when everyone was settled. "This is just a routine check-in. So far your situation has not changed. As expected, NOVA is still trying to make negotiations on your behalf. We're just here to see how everyone is settling in, make sure there are no concerns or problems we need to know about."

"I got a concern," Rocket spoke up.

"If this is about the crib, we don't want to hear it." Maria replied semi-sternly.

Rocket deflated slightly before saying, "I have another concern."

Fury looked unamused, but before he could ask Rocket to elaborate, Rocket was already going into about how you were a dick and how you tossed him outside like a rag doll.

"You were attacking him," you said angrily, gesturing to Kraglin. "Was I just supposed to let you?" Of course the little shit would try to make you look bad to your boss while leaving out the part he played in the situation.

Rocket went on to say that you just had it in for him, and Mantis, who wanted to both try and calm the situation and also defend you, shyly spoke up and said, "Maybe she would like you better if you hadn't tried to poison her?"

Fury and Maria exchanged looks, hers a mix of startled surprise, Fury's one of surprised concern. Surely if there had been an attempt on your life from one of these people, you would have reported it. They turned back, Maria saying, "Excuse me?"

However, she was drowned out by Rocket saying, "That was after!" as if that were a valid defense. "And she wouldn't have died!"

"Yeah, she would have just shit herself half to death. So much better." Peter said sarcastically.

"Why do you care? She bit you!"

This earned raised eyebrows from Fury and Agent Hill. You purposely didn't meet their gaze, embarrassed.

Peter, who felt guilty at the way Rocket was doing you, then stood up for you, "In her defense I did almost break her nose." He caught the expressions of Fury and Agent Hill and added, "We were drunk, it was all just a misunderstanding," as an explanation before realizing he wasn't exactly helping either.

There was more bickering, mostly Rocket saying how much of a dick you were, and others scolding back that Rocket had been the one to start it, then he brought up how instead of helping untangle him and Kraglin you just laughed your ass off, and then others said more things that weren't really helping and everyone was talking over each other while Gamora pinched the bridge of her nose in embarrassed frustration and you rubbed a hand down your face.

"Enough!" Fury said firmly, breaking up the squabbling. "We are not here to listen to petty grievances." He gave the group a stern look. "First off," he looked directly at Rocket, "do not try to poison my agent again. We can just as easily put you in a cell for the duration of your stay on Earth, but I think you'd agree this is a much better venue."

Rocket grumbled something about how'd he'd just escape, but Fury ignored him.

Fury looked at you. "And you- Do try and refrain from getting into fights with your charges." He nodded towards Peter to indicated he specifically meant drunken fights and biting. His tone was as if he was incredulously scolding a child who didn't normally do naughty things, but had suddenly decided to moon traffic. He actually hadn't expected to hear of this behavior from you. You were one of his best agents. He had the humorous thought that this group's dysfunction might be contagious.

You look down and nod. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now does anyone have any real concerns? Is everyone healthy? Anyone gotten sick? Are the food rations sustaining?"

Peter spoke up, afraid that Rocket would start in again. "We're all fine here. Don't listen to Rocket, he's just cranky and still adjusting. She's been a good host."

Fury grinned slightly as he looked at you. "I'd take that as a glowing review, seeing as it came from the man you apparently bit."

You felt your face grow warm and you didn't meet his gaze. You had a feeling he wasn't going to let that go anytime soon.

Mantis spoke up again, now excitedly. "Oh yes! She's been very kind! She gave me this bear!"

Oh geez. Of course she'd bring up the bear. You covered your face for a moment and wondered if she ever put the thing down.

Fury looked at the stuffed toy in amusement. He could tell it wasn't new. It was in nice condition, but worn more than what would happen with a week's worth of use. Meaning, he felt you likely hadn't gone out to buy it, he had a feeling that it more than likely came from inside the house, which, if his suspicions were correct...

"Nice to see you're making friends." he said with humor in his voice, only briefly meeting your gaze before you broke it again.

Fury kept the rest of the visit brief, asking a few more questions before he clapped his hands together and said. "Alright, I believe we're done here. If nobody has any further questions, we'll be seeing you all next week. You know how to contact us if there are any problems-" he turned and gave a pointed look at Rocket, clarifying, "any real problems."

"Same time?" you ask.

"We'll see," replied Fury, turning with Maria towards the door when no one spoke up with any further concerns.

You frowned. Clearly he intended to make the next visit a 'surprise' as well. You probably shouldn't be surprised, but you didn't exactly like the anxiety attack he gave you with this 'surprise visit,' and you weren't looking forward to another one.

Rocket watched Fury and Agent Hill as they left, biting his tongue. He considered shouting out after him that you wanted to put them in chains, but of course he knew that him simply seeing the chains wouldn't be enough proof. If he called you out now, you'd probably just make something up, or maybe you had them hidden so if anyone went to look they wouldn't find them.

No. He couldn't say anything yet. He was going to bide his time. He had a suspicion he might find answers in the attic. Why else would you have told Groot there were monsters up there to keep him out, if there wasn't something you were trying to hide?

He only needed to find time to get up there when no one would notice.

At the door Fury pushed a button on his key fob and his vehicle shimmered into place as the cloaking disengaged. You looked unamused and both Fury and Maria nodded in goodbye as they departed.

You shook your head with a sigh and closed the door.

***

"I think that went well," Maria said as she buckled in. "No one's been killed yet."

Fury let half a chuckle and just looked at her before driving away.

***

Some time after Fury had left and everyone had supper you decided to treat yourself to some reading. You decided to curl up on the armchair, something you hadn't done since the Guardians first arrived. This was because you wanted to, definitely not to prove to Peter, who was sitting with Yondu at the table, that you weren't too shy to stay in the same room with other people without coercion.

You were sat curled in the armchair reading a horror novel when Kraglin walked into the room, catching your attention. Of course, when you saw it was him you were unable to hold back your snickers, though you tried to hide them behind your book.

Kraglin's eyebrows knitted together. "It's not that funny!" he groaned.

Yondu, who was growing more curious and amused asks, "What's so 'not funny' that she laughs every time she sees yer face, boy?"

Kraglin gives him a pitiful look, but before he can open his mouth to again beg him not to ask Peter answers for him, retailing the whole embarrassing story while giggling, to Yondu's delight as he starts laughing right along with Peter once he gets to the part about Rocket getting tied to Kraglin's butt.

This, of course, makes you laugh harder, and you're now shaking behind your book.

Kraglin looks like he wants to die before his expression switches to mischievous. Sure, you said you weren't ticklish the other day when Mantis was trying to make you laugh, but he was sure that was obviously a lie. He also knew from dealing with a bratty Peter through the years just how to teach you a lesson. Kraglin approaches you. "You think that's funny? I've give ya something to laugh at, brat!" he says, lunging for one of your feet and scribbling his fingers over the bottom.

This lasts all of half a second before you let out a high squeak, which is then followed by an "OOF!" by Kraglin when your other foot connects with his ribcage.

"Ow! You kick hard!" Kraglin whined, rubbing his ribs where you had just donkey-kicked him.

You blushed slightly, peering over your book. "Yeah, well... I suppose it's in your best interest if you don't try that again." You try to sound intimidating, but it comes out sounding more squeaky than you'd have liked.

"Yeah, no shit." Kraglin replied, still rubbing his ribs as he walked over to sit on the far end of the couch, as if afraid to sit too close to you now.

You muttered into your book, "I'm not even ticklish."

Kraglin just rolled his eyes at you, picking up the remote to turn on the television.

Peter and Yondu just kept laughing.

***

The next morning the novelty of having encountered Kraglin and Rocket tangled up had mostly worn off. Mostly. You didn't burst out laughing every time you saw them anymore, but Kraglin was still slightly annoyed that you still couldn't glance at him without cracking a smile. If you had just been happy to see him he wouldn't have minded, but because he knew it was only a result of yesterday's incident, it was slightly embarrassing.

However, it did make him feel a little better to tease you and Peter for jumping when the toaster popped.

You were buttering your toast when Yondu pulled a jar from the pantry. "What're these?" He hadn't tried much Terran food yet, aside from the few times you had cooked and when Peter beckoned him to try something, and today he was feeling adventurous. Might as well. He had the feeling they were going to be here awhile.

You look over to see him already opening the jar of pickled jalapeños and your eyes widen slightly. "Those are jalapeños. I recommend trying one if you haven't eaten them before, they're hot."

"They ain't hot, the jar's cool?" Yondu said, spearing three slices of jalapeño on a fork. Whatever it was, he was sure he could take it. It was only Terran food, after all. What's the worst that could happen?

Seeing the oncoming tragedy that was more than likely about to happen in his mouth you tensed, "No, that's not what-"

Too late. He already ate them.

It was maybe five seconds before his mistake hit him. To his credit, he swallowed, but he also immediately closed the jar. "What the hell!?" he said, looking at you as he tried to suck air into his mouth to cool it down. "What the hell are these things?! My damn mouth is on fire!" He wasn't panicking, to your relief, but he also wasn't happy.

Peter laughed at him. He had thought he remembered jalapeños from when he was a kid, his grandpa would put them in his tacos. However, he didn't try to further warn Yondu with you, wanting to see what would happen. He wasn't disappointed even seeing Yondu glare at him for laughing as he sucked air through his teeth and wiped his now running nose on his sleeve.

You look at Yondu half-apologetically. "I tried to warn you! I told you they were hot- I mean spicy, that's why your mouth burns. Um... here..." You pull down a glass and pour him some milk. "This will help."

He eyed it. "What is it?" He thought it looked like the same white liquid Peter and Kraglin would pour into what Peter called cereal, but he had never bothered to ask them what it was.

"Milk." you answered, getting a very strange look from him in return, a mix of 'What the fuck?!' and near disgust.

Peter spoke up from the table. "It's from a cow. It ain't hers, dude. It's fine."

Your eyes widen, scandalized, as you look to Peter. "Excuse me?"

He looks at you apologetically. "Sorry, I know this is normal here, but uh, on most other planets... you won't really find 'milk' ...unless you're uh, feeding a baby."

A high, "Hmmm..." is all you respond, not sure what else to say to the implication that the blue man thought you were somehow offering him your milk. Your eyes were still wide and you could feel your face growing warm at the uncomfortable information but you still offered out the glass, setting it on the counter between you. "Well this is all I have to offer for the burning. Otherwise you're going to have to wait it out." You cross your arms over your chest self-consciously.

Yondu looked like he was considering for a moment, before hesitantly reaching out to take the glass.

"Drink it slow, it will help with the burning." You then add, mildly scolding. "Next time listen."

He grumbled, but took the glass and sat down at the table next to Kraglin to drink it. Kraglin covered his mouth with his fist, trying not to laugh and looking like he wanted to say something, but Yondu glared at him, grumbling. "Not a word."

Kraglin managed to giggle out a, "Yes, sir." before returning his attention to his cereal, a new food Peter introduced to him a couple days ago that actually wasn't half bad.

Everything was fine for about half an hour or so. You finished your toast and had some juice, and the guys had finished their food as well and the four of you sat in the kitchen talking. Well, they were talking, you were mostly sitting and listening, mostly just making an effort to sit for more than five minutes so Peter would stop giving you that look that said, "Ha, knew you were shy," that he had recently taken to giving you.

Then Yondu suddenly bent slightly and held his stomach with a stifled grunt.

You raised an eyebrow, as did the other two. "You ok?" you asked, seeing his pained expression.

Yondu glared then tensed again, grunting out a "Dammit." before pushing his chair back and making his way quickly from the kitchen without another word.

The three of you shared confused glances.

Then you heard the bathroom door loudly close, and not too long after that began to hear loud noises of the... smelly variety.

Peter half-stifled a laugh, saying. "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, I guess."

You could hear the sound of the toilet flush a bit later, but Yondu didn't return. Instead you started to hear the "smelly" noises again, followed by muffled cursing.

Gamora entered the kitchen, holding her nose. You knew that wasn't a good sign regarding the smell of your hallway, and you were only grateful it hadn't made it into the kitchen yet, though you were now less than eager to leave and risk facing it.

"Is he alright?" she asked Peter.

"He'll be fine." Peter laughed in response, receiving a look from Gamora as she sat next to him, no doubt seeking a reprieve from the odor.

A few minutes passed and he still remained in the jacks, but the smell had its own travel plans.

"Oh hell," you choke out, seemingly the first one of the four of you (aside from Gamora from before) the smell decided to assault. You motioned to Peter. "You- windows- help- please? Now?" you say, gagging as you stood and made your way to open the closest window.

"Right behind you!" Peter said, standing and quickly making to open any window in the kitchen he could find. Kraglin stood with Gamora and they left the kitchen, stating that they were going to open the windows in the sitting room and see if that might help. You could hear gagging from the hallway when they left the kitchen. Peter made his way further down the room and gagged as he opened the back door, a cloud of stink having unfortunately pooled down that way as it was the end closest to the bathroom.

He braved the stink just long enough to shout, "Damn, man! What did you eat!?" He only got a, "Oh, grow up!" in response from Yondu from behind the bathroom door.

You exited the kitchen from the other end to open the front door, coughing as your fears were confirmed and the smell was much worse outside the kitchen. You wondered if you should open the upstairs windows as well.

This thought was confirmed when you could hear the sounds of Mantis gagging at the top of the stairs and Drax asking if an animal had died in the house, then going on to confirm it wasn't Rocket as he was with him and Rocket indignantly yelling, "Hey!"

You made your way upstairs, Peter taking your lead and following to open the windows upstairs to help air the house out.

Yondu had only just exited the bathroom when you came downstairs, not looking too pleased. However, he only made it about a meter outside the door before wincing as a cramp told him he wasn't actually finished and spinning on his heels to return to the toilet.

Now Peter actually seemed mildly concerned. "Dude, you ok in there?" he called from a 'safe' distance from the door, as if anywhere was safe from the smell anymore.

There was only more embarrassing noises in response to Peter's question.

"Yondu?" Peter called out.

"Leave me alone, boy! Can't ya see I'm a little busy at the moment?!"

"I can definitely smell it!" Peter shouted back.

"I'm gonna head outside," you choke out, looking at Gamora. "Care to join?" It was less of an invitation and more of a hint. If you value air, maybe get out of the house.

"Way ahead of you dorks!" Rocket called as he ran out the front door with Groot clinging to his back, gagging.

Everyone else followed out the front door, not willing to risk walking toward the back.

"Fresh air!" Peter cried out once he was outside in such a funny way you couldn't help but chuckle and shake your head despite sharing the same sentiments.

After a couple moments of taking in the fresh air, you decided to walk around back. While you were out here you might as well fix the swing.

"Where you going?" Drax asked after you.

Before you could answer, Peter replied in teasing voice, "She's running away 'cause she's shy." Gamora elbowed him and told him to quit.

You rolled your eyes but didn't turn back, flipping him the bird. "I am not. Knock it off."

"Then you won't mind if we join you then, huh?"

You shrugged as you continued walking. "I don't care what you do." you say flippantly, turning the corner of the house.

Peter grinned mischievously. "Oh! So you won't care if I do this?" He jogged after you and all the others heard was a squeaky yip that likely came from you, Peter crying "Ow!" and you responding with, "Then quit that!"

Drax called out, "Mister Fury said no fighting!" as the rest of them followed after the two of you.

"Then Gamora, please come get your child!" is what response came from around the wall.

Drax gave a confused look to Gamora. "Does she really think Quill could be your child?"

Gamora shook her head. "No, Drax. She's just insulting Peter for acting like a child."

You glared at Peter as he rubbed his arm.

"Did you really need to punch so hard?" he asked, laughter in his voice despite the pain.

"Don't startle me next time." You warn, crossing your arms and turning back to keep walking.

Peter smirked. "Oh sure. 'Startle.' Looked a lot more to me like that tickled."

You look back to him with a glare.

Peter held up his hands in a defensive gesture and laughed, and you saw the others rounding the corner and decided to just walk away and let him live for now. Definitely wasn't because you were slightly worried he might try to prove his theory in front of all the others.

You unlocked the shed, grabbed the items you needed from where you had placed them on the workbench the previous day, and shut the shed door and locked it back up all before the others really got near. You hadn't told anyone about the bed frame yet and you didn't intend to, at least not until it was finished.

You dropped the chains by the old swing and walked back towards the shed to grab the ladder leaning against the back wall so that you could cut the old rope away from the large eye hooks drilled into the branch that had been embedded in the tree so long they were now a permanent fixture.

On your way back with the ladder Kraglin asks, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Fixing the swing," you say, not looking at him as you set up the ladder.

You grab the two lengths of chains and start to ascend the ladder when he speaks again. "Would ya like some help with that? Those chains look heavy."

They weren't. Well, they were heavy enough to support a person, but not heavy enough, or you weak enough, that you couldn't hoist them up the ladder. "I think I can manage," you say, slightly irritated. Last thing you wanted was some "Let the man do the lifting" crap.

"It's just that-"

You look sharply at him, "Just what?"

"Nothin' ma'am." His voice cracked as he spoke and you turned back to carrying the chains back up the ladder.

Rocket, who kept an eye on you the moment he saw the chains, but tried not to make a show of it, came over and stood next to Kraglin, Mantis following close behind.

"Are you fixing the swing?" Mantis asks shyly.

"Yep." you say, clipping one chain to the eye-hook with a locking carabiner.

"I'm sorry I broke it."

You don't look down, reaching up to attach the other chain as you say, "Already told you, wasn't your fault. The rope was old. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, so if she breaks something you'll replace it." Rocket said bitterly.

You climb down the ladder and look at him in annoyance. "There's a difference between the rope snapping on her, and you almost throwing the remote through the TV screen during a tantrum."

"I was not throwing a tantrum!" Rocket said indignantly.

"Close enough. Fighting with Peter over it, better?"

Rocket doesn't answer, just crosses his arms and glares at you before taking off. Truthfully, he was less mad about that and more surprised that he saw the chains were being used to fix the swing instead of being used to tie him or his team up. But this didn't mean you still weren't a dick. Just because he was wrong about this one thing, didn't mean he was wrong about you probably hiding some dark plans or something. He just had to find it. He certainly wasn't grasping at straws or anything just 'cause he didn't like you...

You reach down and pick up the wooden seat of the swing. You cut off the rope still attached to the eye hooks running through the board and repeat the same process to attach the chain as you had above.

When you were finished to turned to Mantis and said, "Wanna try it out?"

She giggled excitedly and nodded before hopping on the swing.

You smile and pick up the scraps of rope you had thankfully tossed out of swing-range and noticed Kraglin was gone. So was your ladder.

You turned to see him returning it back to where you had gotten it from and you called after him, "You didn't need to do that!"

He replied back with, "I know!"

You shook your head and started to walk back towards the shed to toss the scraps in the rubbish bin, wondering how long it might take for the house to be inhabitable again.

Gamora and Peter watched as you had finished repairing the swing and smiled. Peter internally noted that you seemed to have a soft spot for Mantis. Of all of them, her and Groot always seemed to get your softer side, even when it was obvious you were trying not to make it obvious. He grinned, sure that there were some advantages to be had from that.

By the time you had met back up with the rest Yondu could be seen exiting the house from the back door and walking towards the group, no doubt also seeking refuge from the smell.

Peter grinned cheekily and asked, "Everything come out ok?"

Yondu just glared at him before grumpily turning to you. "I think that milk stuff ya gave me went bad."

Peter spoke up, "Inside of you, maybe. Kraglin and I ate it and we're fine."

Kraglin nodded in agreement, saying he felt fine. He then suggested that maybe it was those spicy things he ate that didn't agree with him.

Your eyes widened and you crossed your arms nervously. You remembered how Rocket had attempted to poison you with the xanti-berries, and think you just realized what happened. You had accidentally actually did what Rocket had tried to do to you, to Yondu. You wince and say, "I'm sorry."

Noticing your change in expression, Yondu asks, "What?"

"I'm sorry," you say again, "I didn't even think that the milk might make you sick."

Yondu made a grouchy face but said, "Whatever. Guess I know now."

Rocket, who had been listening in not too far off came up and said, "So when I try to do it to her, I'm an asshole, but when she actually poisons him, everything's just dandy!?"

You narrow your eyes but before you can spout off Yondu speaks up irritably. "If I didn't even know it would happen, how the hell is she supposed to know, Rat?"

"Yeah, she was only tryin' to help him." added Kraglin. "Ain't her fault."

Rocket huffed and skulked away. "Whatever," he said, waving you all off, "Screw you all."

"Ignore him." Peter said, annoyance clear in his voice, and changed the subject to something less likely to piss everyone off.

Eventually you all were able to re-enter the house again without gagging.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

[hacawijo]

Alright, If We’re Gonna Play with Az’s Bonus Chapter, Let’s PLAY with Az’s Bonus Chapter (Pt. 2)

Yeah baby, part 2 of a PAINSTAKING close read lol.

Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything he uses the shadows to ESCAPE, they are a coping mechanism, appearing at the door to Rhys’s study a heartbeat later. His shadows whispered in his ear that Elain had gone upstairs. It’s interesting that the shadows specifically report on Elain’s whereabouts here and not earlier, as well as later not reporting on Gwyn.

Rhys sat at his desk, fury a moonless night across his face. He asked softly, “Are you out of your mind?”

Azriel donned the frozen mask he’d perfected while in his father’s dungeon. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rhys’s power rippled through the room like a dark cloud. “I’m talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of a hall where anyone could see you,” he snarled. “Including her mate.” It is not out of line for Rhys to acknowledge that this was stupid. If for no other reason than that it would hurt Lucien if he saw/felt them.

Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it. Which is the mirror to something that Rhys notes in ACOFAS, that they are similar in their darkness. Because Rhys is really the only person Azriel can be himself with, completely, I think it’s important to acknowledge that this is unprecedented ground for them and specifically for Azriel. This is the first time Azriel can actually voice ANY of these thoughts out loud, and only because Rhys saw them, he did not bring this concern to Rhys himself. “What if the Cauldron was wrong?”

Rhysand blinked. “What of Mor, Az?” Also very not out of line thing to ask. Feyre is the only person Mor has really told about her sexuality, and so to Rhys and co. AND Azriel, nothing about this situation has changed in the past 500 years. The fact that Azriel is able to get over Mor, without that confirmation of her sexuality, because of Elain, is significant I think.

Azriel ignored the question. Hmm yeah, but he can’t keep ignoring this question forever, and that’s another reason he and Elain did NOT kiss in this chapter. He and his family and Mor all need closure regarding their relationship. “The Cauldron chose three sisters. Oh boy, I have a lot to say about the number three later on! Tell me how it’s possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” He had never before dared speak the words out loud. NEVER BEFORE DARED TO SPEAK THE WORDS OUT LOUD. This is the first time he’s even verbalizing these thoughts - of COURSE he doesn’t know how to navigate this conversation. This is raw emotion being spewed out right now, enhanced by the unresolved tension from his interaction with Elain.

Rhys’s face drained of color. “You believe you deserve to be her mate?” So, he says that his two brothers ARE WITH two of those sisters, which is a way to acknowledge the fact that both people in each pair accepted the bond and that it was a mutually built connection. Then he says “the third was given to another” which is actually really different. He’s saying that Elain was given to Lucien by the Cauldron, suddenly one member of that bond is not an active participant - and this is mostly true! Elain has ignored Lucien diligently, and she hinted about her lack of feelings for him when she asked Feyre why he should be entitled to her affections just because of the cauldron and whatever amends he has made. I don’t like Azriel saying that Elain is something to be given as opposed to a person to be connected to, but I’m not sure exactly what it means that he did that. ANYWAY, Rhys really does supply the word deserve, and we have evidence from earlier in this chapter that essentially proves that Azriel does not believe he deserves Elain, anyway. He is having an argument with Rhys, yes, but it almost feels like he’s arguing with himself.

Azriel scowled. “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him anyway.” (THE ONLY TIME ELAIN’S ACTUAL FEELINGS, ACTIONS ARE CONSIDERED IN THIS DISCUSSION BTW) Also, not that he doesn’t answer Rhys’s question. For Azriel, this isn’t necessarily about what HE deserves in this moment, it’s about what Elain wants. Almost certainly, Azriel DOESN’T believe that he deserves Elain, but he sees the injustice of her being forced to accept a bond with someone for political or spiritual/societal reasons. So while to Rhys it may seem like Azriel is is putting Lucien’s claim down in order to boost his own, I actually think Azriel is trying to distinguish a different issue - Elain’s agency. This same thing happened with Mor and Eris. ABSOLUTELY THIS IS NOT ALL LIKE THAT SITUATION BECAUSE LUCIEN IS NOT ERIS!!! I am not trying to compare their behavior. BUT, Azriel would have dueled Eris for Mor’s agency regardless of whether or not she chose to be with him.

“So you’ll what?” Rhys’s voice was pure ice. “Seduce her away from him?” Rhys, I think, misinterpreting Azriel and it’s mostly not Rhys’s fault. Azriel doesn’t communicate well and is not currently communicating well. That being said, I wish he would give Azriel more benefit of the doubt.

Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t got that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. HE HADN’T PLANNED ANYTHING, this whole conversation is just like a raw nerve.

Rhys growled, “Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.” Well come on, now, Rhys, what if she doesn’t want to stay away from him? BE A FEMINIST RHYS, just add, “unless she wants to see you”!

ALSO, DID RHYS TELL FEYRE ABOUT THIS? MY MONEY IS ON NO, AND IF RHYS DIDN’T TELL HER ITS BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WHOLLY DOING THE RIGHT THING BY ELAIN.

“You can’t order me to do that.”

“Oh, I can, and I will. If Lucien finds out you’re pursuing her, he has every right to defend their bond as he sees fit. Including invoking the Blood Duel.” Another really big sign that this is going to play out Elriel style is the mentioning of the Blood Duel. Chekhov’s gun eh?

“That’s an Autumn Court tradition.” The battle to the death was so brutal that it was only enacted in rare cases. Despite being an outsider, Azriel had wanted to to invoke it when he’d found Mor all those years ago. Had been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris to Blood Duels and kill them both. Yes see? He would have done this regardless of Mor’s feelings toward him. Only Mor’s right to claim their heads in vengeance had kept him from doing so.

“Lucien, as Beron’s son, has the right to demand it of you.” But hey fun fact Rhys knows that Lucien is almost CERTAINLY not Beron’s son. Interesting to consider in context.

“I’ll defeat him with little effort.” Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true. Again, Azriel is dodging Rhys’s points and is honestly being pretty immature right now, but he hasn’t actually said ANYTHING about an intention to pursue Elain with any of this. Rhys has filled in the blanks, and Azriel has responded to smaller aspects of Rhys’s macro-points with which he finds fault. I think this is also because he knows Rhys is right about a lot of the realities of the situation, but he is in the mood to be contrary right now, so he’s fighting back where he can stomach it.

“I know.” Rhys’s eyes flickered. “And your doing so will rip apart any fragile peace and alliances we have, not only with the Autumn Court, but Also with the Spring Court and Jurian and Vassa.” Rhys bared his teeth. Rhys’s motivations are based entirely on things that have nothing to do with Elain’s feelings, which is sad. But, they’re not insignificant considerations. Though come on dude you did pretty much enable Hybern’s arrival to Prythian by alienating The Spring Court with Feyre’s escape.“So you will leave Elain alone. YES, ALONE, because Elain probably is PRETTY FREAKIN LONELY If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.” Low. Blow.

Azriel snarled softly.

“Snarl all you want.” Rhys leaned back in his chair. “But if I see you panting after her again, I’ll make you regret it.” I do think this is a really ungenerous description of what was happening downstairs with Elain. Their interaction was careful and consensual, we have painstaking detail to prove that, and it was far from panting/animalistic in action.

Rhys had rarely threatened punishment or pulled rank. It stunned Azriel enough that it knocked him from his rage. This is another person taking ANOTHER choice away from Elain. I think she may find out about Rhys doing this and I personally think she’s gonna be rightfully pissed.

Rhys jerked his chin toward the door. “Get out.”

Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him.

Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all. With Elain, he is SOMETHING. Because he feels things.

Then he flew to the House of Wind, knowing that if he slept in the riverside manor, he’d do something he regretted. He’d been so vigilant about keeping away from Elain as much as possible, Further evidence that Azriel never intended to fight Lucien or make a stink over Elain and had stayed up here to avoid her, and tonight... tonight had proved he’d been right to do so.

He aimed for the training pit, giving in to the need to work off the temptation, the rage and frustration and writhing need.

He found it occupied. His shadows had not warned him. I am not sure what it means that his shadows didn’t warn him. It could mean that Gwyn is protected from his shadows/immune to them. It could mean that his shadows wanted him to go see Gwyn - either out of a desire for Azriel to find some peace with her or out of curiosity as to who/what she is?

It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running. Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight.

She stopped mid-slice, whirling to face him. “I’m sorry. I knew you all were going to the river house, so I didn’t think anyone would mind if I came up here and—“

“It’s fine. I came here to retrieve something I forgot.” The lie was smooth and cool, as he knew his face was. His shadows peered over his wings at her. They are… wary of her? They’re shy around her?

The young priestess smiled — and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows. But she just hooked her coppery-brown hair behind an arched ear. “I was trying to cut the ribbon.” She pointed with her sword at the white ribbon, which seemed to glow silver. Some interesting language here and above (glimmering, glow etc.) to do with light, and again a juxtaposition between light and dark. But not a golden light, a colder/silver light.

“Aren’t you cold?” His breath clouded in front of him.

Gwyn shrugged. “Once you get moving, you stop noticing it.”

He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. Gaze is definitely a romantically charged word, this is one of the tiny details that makes me unsure about the future nature of their relationship. He blocked out the bloody memory that flashed, so at odds with the Gwyn he saw before him now. I definitely do not think they are mates. I’m not closing the door on them being romantically involved, I don’t have enough evidence to do that, but I really think that if they were mates, Azriel would have known when he saw her at Sangravah.

Her head ducked, as if remembering it too. That he’d been the one who’d found her that day at Sangravah. Shades of Cassian’s reactions to Emerie’s wings having been clipped, in ACOFAS. “Happy Solstice,” she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing.

He snorted. “Are you kicking me out?”

Gwyn’s teal eyes I have a lot to say about these teal eyes :) flashed with alarm. “No! I mean, I don’t mind sharing the ring. I just... I know you like to be alone.” Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. “Is that why you came up here?” I’ll talk more about this later, but there are a few small moments in the book where it seems like Gwyn might have a crush on Azriel, or some kind of special awareness/interest where he is concerned. I have seen almost no evidence that Az returns those potential feelings, except PERHAPS for the moment where he hears her screech and pays attention. But I think anyone would pay attention if someone screeched? Also he watches reverently as she cuts the ribbon, but that also feels like it would happen regardless of any romantic feelings he might have. But I don’t know for sure!

Sort of. “I forgot something.”

“At two in the morning?”

Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he’d spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. He cares that she not be feeling pain and grief, as he does with anyone he deems good, and that is part of why he offers her the smile, as he clearly says right here. “I can’t sleep without my favorite dagger.”

“A comfort to every growing child.”

Azriel’s lips twitched. I think her irreverence matches his sense of humor quite well. He refrained from mentioning that he did indeed sleep with a dagger. Many daggers. Including one under his pillow.

“How was the party?” Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. This shadow is acting totally independent of him. She’s asking a simple question of Azriel at the moment, and he CAN’T hear the music he believes that shadow might be dancing to. Lightsinger evidence, I’d say.

“Fine,” he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer. “It was nice.” LOL I will say here that Azriel has to make a lot of conscious effort in this interaction. He makes himself respond in a specific way, which is not language that was used to describe his interactions with Elain earlier in the chapter. This could totally just be because he doesn’t know Gwyn that well, and certainly that’s a big part of it, but I think there’s something to be said for the fact that he is still filtering himself here with Gwyn in the quiet.

Not much better. So he asked, “Did you can the priestesses have a celebration?”

“Yes, though the service was the main highlight.”

“I see.” LOL

She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. More glowing-type stuff “Do you sing?” I love Gwyn.

He blinked. It wasn’t everyday that people took him by surprise, but... which is great! Elain surprises him with the headache medicine in ACOFAS, Feyre surprises him with her intuition and tenderness throughout. I think this indicates that they will have a significant relationship regardless of its exact nature. “Why do you ask?”

“They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?”

“I am a shadowsinger— it’s not a title that someone just made up.” It’s super-duper interesting that they actually discuss the fact that he’s a shadowsinger. When Feyre meets Azriel, she is curious, but specifically doesn’t ask follow-up questions or for expansion on the ability. Why specifically remind us here that Azriel is a shadowsinger and that Gwyn sings? If not to foreshadow something related to the ability and Gwyn?

She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. “Do you though?” She pressed. “Sing?”

Azriel couldn’t help his soft chuckle. “Yes.” I love Gwyn. She is the reason I now realize a lot of what I’ve been doing in my life is irreverence :P

She opened her mouth to ask more, but he didn’t feel like explaining. Or demonstrating, since that was surely what she’d ask next. So Az jerked his chin to the sword dangling from her hand. “Try cutting the ribbon again.” I love this so much. Maybe it is romantic, but I think that’s debatable. What’s not debatable is that it’s completely charming.

“What— with you watching?” It’s actually pretty funny that in order to avoid giving a demonstration of something that makes him vulnerable and puts Gwyn in the role of expert he flips it and makes her demonstrate vulnerability while he is the expert. Gwyn might be quite a bit braver than Azriel in some ways.

He nodded.

She considered, and he wondered if she’d say no, but Gwyn blew out a breath, steadied her feet and balance, and sliced. A beautiful, precise blow, but it didn’t sever the ribbon. SEE? Brave. I love Gwyn.

“Again,” he ordered, rubbing his hands against the cold, grateful for its bracing bite and the distraction of this impromptu lesson. Distraction is a notable word here. Azriel’s thoughts don’t really ever stray from Elain and his turmoil throughout this interaction, that’s what the word distraction tells us.

Gwyn sliced again, but the ribbon remained unyielding.

“You’re turning the blade a fraction as it comes parallel to the ground,” Azriel explained, drawing his Illyrian blade from down his back. “Watch.” He slowly demonstrated, rotating his wrist where she did. “You see how you open up right here?” He corrected his position. “Keep your wrist like that. The blade is an extension of your arm.”

Gwyn tried the movement as slowly as he had, and he watched her self-correct, fighting against the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She did it three times before she stopped falling into the bad habit. “I blame Cassian for this. He’s too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days.”

Azriel laughed. “I’ll give you that.” I sense a lot of compatibility, just, again, not sure it’s romantic.

Gwyn smiled broadly. “Thank you.”

Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch. This is another line that I think offers the most evidence for something significant between Gwyn and Azriel. It’s lovely that she has helped to settle something restless in him with the distraction - and I think it’s important to note that it might not have done the same thing had he encountered Emerie or another trainee on the roof. At the same time, maybe it would have. Also love that his shadows like to watch Gwyn. Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence! This all being said, I can’t really think of an SJM romance that is built around a comfort zone. I can think of many friendships that operate that way, but not so much with the romances. There’s usually nervousness and flutters and passion and… restlessness, somewhere in there.

But— sleep. He needed to at least attempt to get some.

“Happy Solstice,” Azriel said before aiming for the archway into the House. “Don’t stay out too much longer. You’ll freeze.”

Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. I love Gwyn.

Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer. This feels VERY much like Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence. His shadows, as this chapter has demonstrated time and again, operate independently of him, and they react to Gwyn’s song. I also think it’s possible that Gwyn is sort of always singing, even when she’s not. Like she glows with song on some level, and that’s what his shadows are reacting to - because I don’t think she’d necessarily actually sing while attempting to cut the ribbon.

He slept as well as could be expected which means pretty much not at all y’all — he makes it clear he never expects to sleep well, but when Azriel returned to the River House to gather his presents before dawn, he found Elain’s necklace amid the pile. He pocketed it. Spent the rest of his day, even the blasted snowball fight, with every intention of returning it to the shop in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. How did the necklace get there??? Did Elain really put it there??? Seems like even more evidence that he assumes too much about her understanding of his feelings. Also, though, it seems really rude/OOC for Elain to do that. She gave up very quickly after he gave her a really thoughtful gift. SOMETHING’S FISHY.

But when he returned from the cabin in the mountains, he didn’t go to the market square.

Instead, he found himself at the library beneath the House of Wind, standing before Clotho as the clock chimed seven in the evening. Important to remember that this is one of the longest nights of the year, which means dusk is coming on later than it was when Nesta attended the evening service weeks/months prior- a service that started almost exactly when seven bells rang the time. It is very well possible that Azriel finds himself at the library as the evening service is happening. The one in which Gwyn sings. If she does have some kind of Lightsinger power in her, it may be that he was lured by that power instead of returning the necklace. Even if they always start at 7, he still arrives exactly at 7. The only point against this surmising that I’ve done is that Clotho led the service which Nesta attended, and yet she is here to greet Azriel. Either I’m wrong and the service is not happening at or around this time, OR the service can take place without Clotho occasionally, and this served the interest of the plot so that Az could speak with someone.

He slid the small box across her desk. “If you see Gwyn, would you give this to her?”

Clotho angled her hooded head, and her enchanted pen wrote on a piece of paper. A Solstice gift from you?

Azriel shrugged. “Don’t tell her it came from me.” Yes, it really doesn’t seem super romantic to re-gift a necklace to Gwyn. It just feels sour, if this is the start of a romance between them.

Why?

“Does she need to know? Just tell her it was a gift from Rhys.”

That would be a lie.

He avoided the urge to cross his arms, not wanting to look intimidating. He blocked out the memory that flashed— of his mother cringing before his father, the male standing with crossed arms in such a way that made his displeasure known before he opened his hateful mouth. This feels very important. We know VERY LITTLE about Azriel’s story, his past, and his family, and so I want to point out ANY and EVERY nugget we get!

“Look I...” Az searched for the words, his voice becoming quiet. “If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them. But I’m not taking that necklace with me when I leave.” I’m not exactly sure what it means that Azriel says this. It could be that he doesn’t want to make a thing of his potential feelings for Gwyn and so tries to deflect with this statement, both to convince Clotho and himself that it’s not about Gwyn. It could also mean that Azriel needed to be rid of the necklace, and wasn’t in the mood to fight with Clotho over an ultimately secondary (to getting rid of the necklace) impulse to give it to someone who provided him comfort and companionship at a time when he needed it.

He waited for Clotho’s pen to finish writing. Your eyes are sad, Shadowsinger.

He offered her a grim smile. “I lost the snowball fight today.” HE LOST THE FIRST SNOWBALL FIGHT IN 200 YEARS! And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because Gwyn made him feel better the previous night. I think he lost because he is in anguish over the situation with Elain. Again, I understand that anguish shouldn’t necessarily be a romantic thing, but in SJM’s writing it often is. This is a romance series, angst is a thing, stakes are a thing. It’s not necessarily the most healthy, but it’s also not all-the-way unhealthy. He just feels strongly about Elain and there are a lot of obstacles between him and finding a way to resolve those feelings for good or bad.

I am a counselor for folks who have and are dealt/dealing with sexual, gender-based, and interpersonal violence, and if you want me to do an analysis of all of the relationships in SJM’s writing that aren’t wholly healthy, there won’t be any left over. Except for maybe Sartaq and Nesryn. they really do have their shit together. I suspend a fair amount of my disbelief and professional knowledge in reading these books because I love them and they are fictional :) Also, relationships are complicated. It’s pretty rare for me to work with a client that has a cut-and-dry, black-and-white story.

Now, in my PERSONAL NOT PROFESSIONAL experience, shit is messy, and messiness, even in real life, doesn’t always mean something isn’t worth the strife. Though absolutely abuse and assault are a whole other thing. I think it’s really good to think critically about relationship dynamics in fiction, because it’s a safe place to do great learning and reflection. I also think it’s important to consider that the rules of our reality are not necessarily the rules of the reality being written by an author. Maybe you personally find Azriel’s feelings toward Elain (as they have been expressed so far) are beyond redemption, and are unhealthy to a point where the relationship cannot be salvaged. But that is not realistically a reason that the relationship in question won’t happen. Pretty much any negative/toxic assertions that can be leveled against Elriel based on the VERY SMALL amount of first-person perspective we have in the relationship could be leveled against at least a few of SJM’s other endgame couples. Totally happy to get into this more and provide those examples :)

Clotho was smart enough to see through his deflection. She wrote, I’ll give it to Gwyneth. Tell her a friend left it for her.

He wouldn’t go so far as to call Gwyn a friend, but... “Fine. Thank you.” Not sure what this means. Maybe just that it takes Az a while to open up to people and call them friends.

Clotho’s pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring her.

Something sparked in Azriel’s chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn’s teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it. And here we have the most romantic evidence for Az and Gwyn as a couple. Maybe he is falling for her and that’s why he can picture her smile. I really don’t know. I think it could also be that he is happy to be able to make her happy, in recognition of the comfort she gave him the previous evening. Maybe he can picture her because of her potential lightsinger status. Thoughts?

But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. The image glowing, again, lightsinger-supporting language.

A thing of secret, lovely beauty. So now he is referring to Gwyn’s smile here. This is interesting, because Gwyn’s smile wouldn’t necessarily be a secret, but perhaps it is if you think of her as being hidden in the library, or that he’ll know about her smile and her receiving the necklace even though she won’t know that he’s the one who gave it to her. Or maybe he’s drop dead in love with her! Another thing that I don’t think is true given his stony attitude post-Solstice (when Gwyn is very much around) and the fact that he doesn’t seem to react viscerally to Gwyn’s kidnapping until Cassian points out that bad things could be happening to both her AND Emerie, as well as Nesta. He knows Gwyn just as well, if not better at this point, as he knew Elain when he reacted to HER kidnapping in ACOWAR. He was very riled, he was the one who noticed she was gone, he vowed almost immediately to go get her, knowing it might mean certain death (to be fair, he seems to have a bit of a death wish, BUT he’s still a pragmatist and doesn’t try to WASTE his life on things - either they’re essential to the court and/or Prythian’s wellbeing or essential to someone for whom he cares deeply.)

[holdmyowos]

Karma Akabane X Reader

Includes: Mentions of blood, violence, angst, minor cussing, and kidnapping. (This is Assassination Classroom, people. Literally the whole point is killing someone)

You and Karma have been friends since childhood. Playing tricks on your teachers is what led you two to being together in class 3-E. Now, you play tricks on your new  octopus teacher by trying to murder him, stabbing him whenever you can. Recently, last Valentine's Day you had confessed your love to Karma. He knows you have a crush on him, but he has not said anything and recently things have been wired between the two of you ever since you told him.

Today your class was going to go on a field trip to some far off town. You were going to take the train it was so far. Kuro-sensei had given you giant red books that he thought you would actually read through to see the sights. It was the size of an encyclopedia. There was no way.

People started getting into groups of who they would be going with for the trip. You were alone. Only recently had you gotten off probation from your last prank with Karma, so you did not really know anyone else. You had not received good enough grades in either academics or assassination to attract any new friends either.

Karma came up to you. "Hey, we need a sixth person for our group. Wanna join?" You obviously told him yes. The group went to planning all the places that they wanted to see, and the best places to assassinate Kuro-sensei.

Sadly, you had to ride in the back of the train. The students in classes A-D were in first class, while you E class people were stuck in coach. There was some really sketchy people back there, but you felt safe with your classmates, trained assassins, and an alien that could go mach 20.

Finally, you were at your destination. Kuro-sensei was with another group, so you could actually sightsee instead of only worrying about killing him. There was a ton of really cool places you went and saw, including a giant palace. After lunch, the group went walking down some of the back alleys.

"This would be a great place for ambushing someone," the green haired girl from your group said. No sooner had she said it than your classmates were trapped in a ring of people. They were the sketchy people from the train. "This little missy is a smart one. From that smart middle school, I guess that makes sense." The leader of the high school gang smirked down at your group and grabbed her, slinging her over his shoulder. She tried kicking him, but he hardly flinched. "Listen up, kids. If you let us take the pretty ones without a fight, you won't have any harm come to you. Nice and easy." What did that mean? Another two of the gang members picked you up. You were not going to be kidnapped that easily. Using the techniques you had learned about in the classroom, you easily flipped out of their grip and kicked their kneecaps. They yowled in pain. Two more of the goons came. Soon, it was an all out brawl. There was too many of them. It was pointless. Your classmates were knocked out on the ground, save you, the green haired girl, and Karma. The man holding you took off, running away from the group. "Karma!" You shouted, reaching out for him. Someone had knocked him onto the ground. You could see a large bruise on his cheek. He tried getting up to come after you, but he did not have the strength. "Don't worry. I'll come for you. I swear. We just need a plan."

You stopped kicking and screaming at the kidnapper. Karma's promise sounded so grave it had sent shivers up your spine. If he said he was going to do something, he was going to do it. You felt less worried for yourself and more worried for the people that kidnapped you. He would give them hell. You could tell that much from his voice. The green haired girl started to yell again. "Damn you little middle schoolers! How are we supposed to kill Kuro-sensei if you can't even protect your own classmates from High Schoolers?" She had a point.

The gang dumped you and the green hair (which you had learned her name was Kaede) down on the floor. You were surprised that their hideout was so close to where they had kidnapped you from. The group was too busy arguing over who got which person to actually pay attention to you and her. "Kaede. What do we do?" You whispered to her. "I'm not sure. Wait! I have something that may help!" She pulled the giant red guide book out of her backpack. You huffed at her. How would a guidebook help you? She flipped through the pages. She came to a page that she read very intently. "What is it? Did you find something?" She sighed and shook her head. You took the book.

"What to do if you become kidnapped:"

"Wait for help."

"Are you kidding me?" You throw the giant book at the leader person. It sailed through the air and hit him on the head. He fell down onto the ground. The gang members had not seen what had happened, too consumed with fighting amongst themselves. When they saw that their leader was down, they stopped fighting and tried to help him up. He was knocked out, so that did not help any. Those people must be really dumb.

Your classmates snuck in the back door. Silently, you motioned for Kaede to look that way. She saw them and nodded in understanding. Your classmates beat up the leaderless thugs by using a formation, ganging up on each person individually. Most of the kidnappers ran away. Karma was in a frenzy. You had never actually seen him attack another person before, except in second grade when someone stole your candy. And attacking Kuro-sensei. You had heard that he was really good, but you had not expected what you saw. Karma was an absolute boss in battle. The way he almost danced grace fully, ducking punches and giving them back. He was passionate, all right. When all the fighting had stopped, all the high schoolers had been knocked out. Your classmates were all good, except Karma had some blood on his knuckles.

Karma knelt down next to you. "Did they do anything to you?" His voice was laced with concern over your well-being. It kind of concerned you. He never acted this... caring. You shook your head. "Luckily, you got here just in time." Karma put his head against your chest in a hug. You hugged him back. His shoulders started shuddering. A small sound escaped from his lips, slightly smothered by your clothing. Was he laughing? You felt something wet fall against your lap. A tear. Karma Akabane was crying. "K-Karma? You're acting strange. Are you okay? Why are you crying for? I'm safe. Besides, I was the one that was kidnapped. I should be the one crying.

He clung to you tighter. "I realized how much you mean to me. Today, I was scared. I'm never scared. But I was today. Scared because I could have lost you. If you had been killed... I'd have kept jumping off that tree branch until Kuro-sensei gave up on trying to save me." The weight of his words settled on you. "Don't talk like that, Karma! You saved me, that's all that matters." You leaned more into his embrace and wipes his tears on your uniform as he snuggled against you. You had never seen him so vulnerable looking. Your classmates were still scanning for the goons, and had not seen the two of you. You kissed Karma's forehead. "Let's get up. Kuro-sensei will show up any minute. And I'm sure you don't want him or any other people to see you like this." You helped him to his feet and smiled at him. He save you a small smile back, and kissed you on the cheek. "I love you too." He backed away a bit so it would not look like the two of you were up to anything to your classmates.

Kuro-sensei came in. "You have really outdone yourselves! I came in ready to beat up some punks, but it looks like you already took care of all of them. Full marks!" Kaede stepped forward. "I would like to take credit for this, but that wouldn't be fair. Karma took most of them out actually." Kuro-sensei looked impressed, pink with a shine in his eye. "Perhaps you will be the one to kill me, after all." Karma swiped at the teacher, and Kuro-sensei easily dodged. You swiped at him too. Karma chuckled. "Just because you're impressed doesn't mean I'm letting up. In fact, I might just up my game." He took out his gun and fired a few rounds, while your classmates tried stabbing the teacher. "That's what you get for only writing 'wait for help'!" Kaede shouted. Everything was back to normal for class 3-E.

[rubyvroom]

Playing ME: Legendary is so Frustrating

because, eventually, you have to play Mass Effect 3.

And look, ME:1 is greatly improved in the Legendary set. They not only boosted the visuals, they improved all the interfaces and brought them in line with the series in a way that improves playability. The story was already great, the gameplay was brought up to match. 

ME:2 was already damn near perfect. I can’t think of any noticable improvement other than including all the DLC I didn’t pay for the first time, and I was happy with that. It didn’t need improving. I wouldn’t change a thing. 

But ME:3. I’m only in the very very beginning of the game and already I’m frustrated, and it’s exactly because I just finished playing two really excellent games. 

You are much more on rails for this game than ever before. Yes, it meets the exact same structure as the previous games -- opening disaster, first squad members humans, first mission on a human colony, then it’s time to gather your alien supporters -- but there’s a lot less room for you to decide how Shepard reacts to things. The game has already decided who Shepard is and what Shepard wants, and there’s no room for you to disagree.

In some ways that’s cool because it remembers exactly what you had Shepard do in 1+2. The continuity between the games is pretty strong, and that’s impressive.

But in most ways it’s bad. Because it means your character-building is already done at the very start of the game. You can’t have your character grow or change their mind about things based on their experiences so far - what you did in the previous games is still what you’re going to do now. And your range of responses for all Shepards is greatly limited compared to before. So for example Shepard is thrilled to be back with the Alliance after it kicked her out for what she did to stop the Reapers and after working with Cerberus for an extended period of time. But that wasn’t a decision I made - that was my only decision. I don’t get the option of telling the alliance to fuck off after how they treated me and maybe rejoining them only reluctantly because Anderson asked me to. I don’t get any character options at all.

Then, I’m immediately reminded how garbage your romance choices are in Mass Effect if you’re a female Shepard. There is no way to romance the same person in all three games. If you want the romance achievement you will have to choose 2-3 different partners. And this has a lot of unpleasant consequences for female Shepartd that Male Shepards don’t have to face: being accused of cheating and betrayal (does not happen to M!Shep), your LI from 2 dying in 3 no matter what you do (can’t happen to Male Shep), and just having to role play losing your LI in some way or other every game. (Also, and I’m going to complain forever about this, but so many love interests are locked in for Straight Male Shepard in a way that doesn’t make sense. You going to tell me aliens care whether I’m male or female? That Miranda cares? That freaking JACK cares? Come on. This is classic bro-pandering from Bioware same as they do for the Dragon Age series, and it’s really irritating.)

Also, I haven’t gotten into the meat of the story yet, but I’m already reminded of some of the stupid, stupid story choices that were made: The Illusive Man is indoctrinated. We’re fighting Cerberus again after years of working with them and no apparent ambivalence about this. EDI has a sexy robot body now (siiiiiiiiiigh). Kai Leng. The fucking Star Kid. I told myself I could enjoy ME:3 right up to the deeply stupid ending and then just stop the game and make up my own ending, but the fucking Star Kid is all over the damn place in this game, as is the 3-part choice of Destroy, Control, and I forget Blend? Something? It was so stupid, you guys. So stupid. It’s hard to ignore.

But here’s the worst thing of all. The combat in this game is SO FUN. When I said ME:2 was near perfect, this is the one thing that is better in ME:3. You run better and more naturally, you can dodge roll, and do more satisfying melee moves. They finally got the balance right between powers, guns, and ammunition, and made more dynamic fights where you aren’t just hiding in cover until everything is dead. Even the interfaces are better than in previous games, getting rid of the eyebleedy orange data pads from 2 for instance. The weapons mod system from 1 is back, and improved. Although I liked the leveling in 1 the best, 3 is a close second, with more choices to build your characters. ME:3 is fun to play! It’s the most fun fighting has been in the whole series!

Plus, you get all the payoffs from the previous two games: you get to cure the Genophage, for instance. Which is a choice, but of course you’re going to cure the Genophage - who doesn’t cure the Genophage? You get to resolve the Quarian/Geth conflict which has been a huge part of the series, plus make peace between Tali and Legion. Plus some flat-out cool stuff.  A Thresher Maw fights a Reaper! Hang out with the huge cast of characters on shore leave in the best DLC of the whole series!

So it’s basically impossible to just skip 3. You have to have the whole frustrating experience again, with all of the pretty high highs and the really, really low lows. As an end to the whole Legendary Edition experience, it’s just a reminder of how Bioware lost it’s way. 

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 27]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,200

Chapter 26

Y/N shot up in bed when her Kimoyo beads lit up and alerted her of an incoming call.

It was the middle of the night and she had been fast asleep.

When she tapped one of the beads, a hologram of Steve popped up.

“Steve?” She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said softly.

“It’s fine. Is everything OK?” She asked.

Steve sighed. “Vision and Wanda were attacked in Edinburgh.”

Y/N was fully awake now. “Attacked?”

“By…By aliens,” Steve added.

She froze. It sounded like a joke. But the look on Steve’s face was nothing but serious.

“Is everyone OK?”

Steve glanced down. “Vision’s hurt. It’s not good. Wanda’s a little beat up, but fine. Nat and Sam are OK.”

“And what about you?” She challenged.

“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly.

Y/N waited for him to continue.

“We’re on the quinjet now.” Then he hesitated. “Headed to the compound.” He sighed again. “Y/N…there was an attack in New York City. Tony’s missing. He was last seen boarding the spaceship that landed. And that’s the last anyone’s heard of him.”

Y/N suddenly realized why Steve was calling her. Something bad was about to happen. And neither of them believed they were going to see each other before it all went down.

“What if they arrest you?” Y/N thought aloud.

But Steve was already shaking his head at the question. “They know they need us. We’re about to be under attack. They’ve already lost Tony. Earth needs as much help as it can get.”

“What do they want?” She asked numbly.

“Vision. They want the mind stone.” Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’re taking him to the compound to see if we can remove it and still keep him alive.”

Y/N knew none of this was good. Tony was missing, Vision’s life was at stake, and aliens, they knew nothing about, were about to reign hell on the entire planet if they didn’t get what they wanted.

It was all above Y/N. She may have had an enhancement, but she was never a superhero. She didn’t come from a military background or the intelligence community. She only knew about the secrets of the universe from her relationship with Steve.

“Steve,” she whispered, “are you coming back?”

It was the question Steve was scared to answer.

“I-I don’t know, Y/N.”

She was about to open her mouth, say her goodbyes and tell him how much she loved him. Everything that needed to be said before they went into the unknown.

But Steve cut her off before she could do it. “I’ll call you soon,” he urged in his captain voice.

Except Y/N stayed quiet and looked unsure.

“Y/N,” his tone was stern. “Look at me.”

She did.

“I will call you soon. OK?”

She nodded.

Then the call ended and Y/N’s bedroom was filled with darkness once again.

————

Bucky woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door.

“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!”

He shot out of bed as he immediately recognized Y/N’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spoken since he went to her room and confessed everything.

But none of that mattered when he could clearly hear the panic in her voice.

He opened the door to Y/N’s wide eyes and heavy breathing. He looked past her shoulder to see that both of her guards were watching her with slight concern, proving that they didn’t know any more than he did of what was going on. They had just blindly followed her here and asked no questions. 

“What’s going on?” He asked her.

“I need you to teach me how to shoot a gun,” Y/N said as she struggled to catch her breath.

His eyes furrowed. “What?”

“I’m never going to be as good as I need to be at hand-to-hand combat. So…I need you to show me how to shoot a gun.”

“Y/N, it’s the middle of night. What the hell is going on?”

“Something’s coming. I don’t–I don’t know.” Then her bottom lip started trembling. “I just…I’m sick of being useless. I’m not going to stay here and hide when everyone else is fighting.”

Then she was crying. She was quickly becoming hysterical.

Without even thinking, Bucky pulled her shaking body towards him with his one arm.

“Shhh, kid. It’s OK. It’s OK.” He rubbed her back. “Can you take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?”

It took a bit of coaxing, but Y/N was finally able to do what he asked.

Bucky ignored the guards as he tried to calm her down.

He pulled away to look at her. “Now, tell me what’s going on? What’s gotten you so upset?” He pushed some hair off her face that got stuck to her skin thanks to the tears.

“It’s Thanos.” She finally whispered.

“Who the fuck is Thanos?”

After that, Bucky explained to Y/N’s guards that they were dismissed and he’d look after Y/N. 

30 minutes later, he had Y/N sitting in his kitchen with a blanket draped over her shoulders and a cup of tea in her grasp.

She looked so young and scared. The first time Bucky had met Y/N, long before he knew about her ability, she was as older than he’d ever known her. But now, she seemed so young and innocent.

Bucky was reminded that while Steve and Bucky had lived multiple lives that weaved in and out of time, Y/N was just in her first. She had dealt with and seen far more than any young woman her age should have. But with her ability, she never had a choice.  

Maybe that was why Bucky felt this draw to her, this sense of duty to protect her. But it was rather silly, wasn’t it? That’s what Steve already did. She didn’t need Bucky too.

Y/N had managed to explain to Bucky the call she’d just received from Steve.

It all made a bit more sense to him now.

“A war’s coming, Bucky,” Y/N muttered as her eyes held no focus, just staring off into the distance.

He didn’t say anything.

“And I can’t do anything to help,” she frowned. “I’m fucking useless.”

Bucky immediately leaned forward. “Hey,” his voice was stern, “That is not true.”

“They say I’m ‘enhanced,’ but my ability is useless. I can’t help anyone with it. I can’t even help myself. I wish I was like Wanda. Or even Natasha…she’s more normal than me and she can make a difference.”

“You think they only way to make a difference is to fight?” Bucky challenged.

“When it’s come to fighting a war, yes.”

He glared at her then. “And what about all the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors?” He sat up straighter. “Or the helpers?”

She squinted at him. “The helpers?”

“There’s always civilians – people just like you – who are helping. Look at any crisis and there’s people saving complete strangers.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face.

“People like Steve and the Avengers… they fight so people like you can be safe, so people like you don’t have to fight.”

“You’re saying you’re not one of those people?” She asked, not ignoring that Bucky didn’t include himself in any of that.

“I’m a wanted man,” Bucky pointed out.

“So is Steve,” Y/N immediately countered. “So are half of the Avengers.”

“That’s different and you know it, kid.” Bucky sighed. “And they wouldn’t be wanted if it wasn’t for me…”

Y/N’s Kimoyo beads glowed blue suddenly, signaling that she was getting an incoming call. There is no one else it could be besides Steve.

She instantly tapped at them just how Shuri had taught her.

Seconds later, Steve’s hologram lit up Bucky’s tiny hut.

“Steve! Are you OK?” Y/N instantly blurted out.

“I’m fine. Everyone’s the same,” he quickly told her.

She let out a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit.

“I’ll be home in a few hours,” Steve added.

“You’re all…coming to Wakanda?” Y/N asked carefully.

“Shuri is the only person that can help Vision. There’s no other option.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Y/N, I’ve already talked to T’Challa. I’m sending you back to the States as soon as I get back.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Steve? I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve expected this reaction. “Y/N, think about what I just said. We’re bringing Vision back. That means we’re bringing the war right to Wakanda. We’re about to make the country the most dangerous place on the planet.”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving. Not without you.” Something about her word choice made Steve suddenly go quiet.

“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he told her quietly.

Y/N realized how tired he looked.

“I just wanted to call and check in,” Steve told her.

She didn’t argue with him further, but the look on her face proved that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“I love you,” he told her.

Y/N’s eyes flickered to Bucky. But then quickly went back to the hologram.

“I love you, too.” Steve’s hologram collapsed.

————-

For the first time in awhile, Bucky didn’t keep his distance from Y/N. In fact, he was now doing the complete opposite as he stood on the landing pad of the palace.

Y/N had been fidgeting since they got there, waiting for the team to arrive.

Bucky could tell by the way she held her body and the shadows under her eyes that she didn’t sleep a wink last night.

He’d offered for her to stay and sleep at his place last night, after he finally calmed her down and talked things out with her.

But Y/N immediately declined.

Bucky guessed things were forever changed now that he had admitted his true feelings for her. It’s not like he didn’t expect repercussions for his confession, but it all happened so quickly. He wasn’t ready yet.

“Please don’t let him send me away.”

Bucky blinked.

Y/N had said it so quietly and quickly. It didn’t sound like her. Probably because it came from a place of pure desperation.

He quickly turned to look at her to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

“Y/N, I don’t think – he’s not gonna listen to me,” Bucky told her gently.

When it came to Y/N and her safety, Bucky didn’t think Steve would listen to anyone. That’s what caused the couples grievances in the first place. Steve would always do what he thought was best for Y/N. It didn’t matter what Bucky, his best friend, had to say.

“He listens to you. Especially when it comes to me,” Y/N told him.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. But it didn’t matter because the quinjet was now lowering to the platform.

Y/N and Bucky stood back, letting T’Challa formally greet the new guests of Wakanda.

It gave Y/N an opportunity to take everyone in. She hadn’t seen Bruce in forever. He looked the same. But he’d clearly been shaken up. Vision couldn’t even stand up straight and had his arm around Wanda, who was helping him off the jet.

As the team headed their way, Bucky stepped forward, but Y/N remained where she stood.

She watched as Bucky started talking to Steve.

Steve’s eyes flickered over Bucky’s shoulder at Y/N. It was the dead giveaway that they were talking about her.

In return, Y/N looked at the ground, not enjoying the feeling of being discussed without actually being a part of the conversation.

But her attention was quickly taken away when Sam and Nat came over to give her giant hugs. They hadn’t seen her since everything went down with the Accords. When Steve returned to Wakanda to be with her, he never brought the team with him.

“It’s good to see you,” Sam told her with a soft smile as he hugged her.

“Have you been training?” Nat asked as she looked her up and down, taking note of the new muscles that had grown on Y/N’s form.

Y/N shrugged. “A little bit.”

“If you’ll all follow me this way,” T’Challa interrupted, guiding the new guests to Shuri’s lab.

Y/N turned and watched them go.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Steve said from behind her.

When she turned to face him, he was standing right behind her. But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

“Hi,” Y/N spoke quietly.

He gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”

Before he could say anything more, Y/N threw herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped himself around her, like it would be enough to protect her from anything in the world. But they both knew that was impossible.

“I shouldn’t have talked about sending you away the way I did,” Steve quickly told her, whispering it into her hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

She pulled back to look at him, but stayed in his arms. “You can’t push me away every time there’s danger around, Steve.”

“I know. I know that now.”

“I’m staying here,” Y/N declared, just to make her point.

He nodded.

Whatever Bucky had said to Steve, Y/N had to thank him for it.

“Go on,” Y/N lightly shoved him away. “T’Challa and the team are waiting for you.”

Steve sighed. “I’ll come find you later.”

Y/N nodded.

————

An hour later, they landed.

The reactions could’ve been worse and more panicked.

Y/N didn’t know what to do as she watched guards and Dora Milaje calling out orders and rushing around the palace. She heard them say something about evacuating the city.

Her eyes raced from face to face, trying to find someone she knew to ask what was going on or what she could do to help.

Her panic started increasing as she failed to find anyone.

“Y/N! Y/N!” His voice called through the chaos.

Relief instantly washed over her as she turned around to find Steve walking toward her with such purpose that everyone stayed out of his way.

“Steve, what’s going on?” She asked. Y/N had seen the ships landing, had felt the vibration as one of them crashed into the protective forcefield.

“They’re here,” he explained.

Then she looked down to see that there was a contraption on each of his forearms.

Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly processing what was happening. “What are you doing?” She shot at him, her tone filled with accusation.

“We’re holding them off. Shuri needs time.”

“Steve, no–“

“Y/N, listen to me,” he cut her off and grabbed her shoulders. Next thing she knew, he was ushering her towards the platform again. “Once we leave, you’re going with the Queen Mother. You’ll be safe with her.”

Hovercrafts were on the platform now and warriors were rushing around them.

Y/N was still trying to process what was happening. She couldn’t focus on anything.

“Steve…” she breathed his name.

Y/N was going into shock.

“Hey, look at me,” he gently pulled her face away from all the chaos that surrounded them. And just like that, he was all she saw. “You’re going to be OK.”

Tears started spilling down her cheeks and she was shaking her head. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.”

He pulled her into him. It was a dangerous thing to do: he didn’t know if he’d be able to let go now.

“I love you, Y/N. Whatever happens, you know that, right?”

He felt her nod against him.

She pulled back, eyes still shedding tears. “I’ve always known that.”

Steve gave her a sad smile.

Then she pulled him into a kiss. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by people. Nobody was paying them any attention.

It was a goodbye kiss. Steve could feel it. It was desperate. It was messy. But there was also an edge to Y/N. He felt emotions shifting off her that he didn’t quite understand.

There was no time to question it.

“Steve, I love you,” she gasped for air. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” he breathed, still holding her face close to his.

Then someone was calling his name.

“Y/N, I have to go now.” She nodded, but still didn’t drop her hold on him. “You have to let me go,” he whispered to her.

Y/N took in a deep breath and finally took a step back.

“I’ll be OK,” Steve told her as she started slowly walking backwards. He didn’t want to look away from her yet. He couldn’t.

But then he was finally immersed in the crowd of people preparing for battle. She’d lost him.

But then another thought occurred to her.

“Bucky!” She gasped.

Now her eyes were racing around her, trying to find him.

By some miracle, Y/N spotted him as he was about to board a hovercraft.

She jumped into a run, trying her best to avoid running into anyone. She slammed into a few shoulders, but she didn’t that stop her. 

“Bucky!” She called and he instantly turned at both his name and her voice.

Y/N was trying to catch her breath when she stopped in front of him. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” She accused.

Bucky at least looked a little guilty. “I’ve never been good at goodbyes, kid.”

“Can you promise me something?” She asked him slowly.

“Anything.”

“When this is all over, can we go back to how things used to be between us? I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t – I don’t want you to keep pushing me away.”

He thought about it for a moment, but nodded his head. “I promise.”

Y/N wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his neck.

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll look after that punk,” Bucky breathed into her hair.

“I want you to look after yourself,” she countered.

“Barnes, we’re heading out,” Nat said from atop the hovercraft.

Y/N stepped back from him before she could do anything she regretted.

Bucky gave her a look that she couldn’t quite read.

Y/N wondered…if things were different, if Bucky wasn’t so worried about hurting the people around him, what would he say to her in this moment?

The wind rushed around Y/N as she watched the hovercrafts take off.

Besides the guards who were waiting to escort her to the secure location with the Queen Mother... Y/N was all alone.

The tears slid silently down her face now. She didn’t make a sound, just watched them all getting smaller and smaller as they got closer to the enemy.

Y/N already knew she wasn’t going to see them again.

-----------

Chapter 28

I did it! (don’t worry, this aint the last chapter. i’m not that lucky 😒)

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically,

Summary: reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: fluff/ eventual Smut

Warnings/Includes: cursing, graphic descriptions of cases, crime scenes and mentions of rape and sexual assault. mentions of blood, guns, murder and other basic criminal minds stuff

Word count: 7.3k

a/n: I'm new to the fandom but i'd love to add more to this if it does well <3 let me know what you think

chapter one

It took Y/N longer than she had hoped to finally catch up to him. He seemed to go from the cute little boy with a bow tie who sat beside her in her kindergarten class to working for the FBI by the time you graduated high school. It wasn’t fair that hehe happened to be smarter than anyone on earth causing him to test out of elementary school before you even got to know him.

Spencer Reid had an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the sweetest personality to match. You saw him around as he grew up, coming home to see his mom often and minding his business as he wandered around in his free time.

He liked to sit on the swings at the abandoned park across the street from your house, it was a place he would go to at the most random hours of the day for years on end. Every time he was in the area, he visited the swing. And She’d watch him from her window seat in her bedroom. Pretending to read, but really she was watching him read.

It was years of watching, from the ages of 13 to 18 when he was coming back and forth from working on his second Ph.D., and she was still trying to make it through high school.

But she never walked out there and talked to him, she knew nothing real about him other than his name and that he was smart. The town told rumours about him being an alien or a government experiment because there was no way a kid could be so smart, but you never believed them. You liked to keep to the idea that he was sweet, smart, and special.

He stopped coming to the swing for a while after they turned 18, her mother had said something about Spencer Reid’s mother being admitted to the nursing home she worked at and y/n drew the conclusion that he’d finally left the small Nevada town you were seemingly trapped in.

Y/N kept tabs with him online, as weird as it felt to her she had a strange sense of pride when it came to Spencer’s achievements. That was the kid she sat beside in kindergarten out there working for the FBI saving lives and changing the world. It inspired her.

So sure enough, when she moved to Virginia to join the FBI academy it was the perfect opportunity to finally be on an even playing field with him. An excuse to reach out to him and catch up, get to know him. She was technically older than him, by 10 months, and yet somehow he seemed to feel unreachable, wiser and more of an adult than she ever would be.

At 26 she finally bumps into him again. She’s carrying boxes into her new apartment with help from a moving company when he leaves the apartment across the hall from her.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer Reid?” she said with the biggest smile spreading across her face.

“Hi?” he says, not having any clue who she is.

“You might not remember me, I’m Y/N Y/L/N we were in kindergarten together in Nevada?”

He takes a moment to think, she watches his eyes flutter as he recalls the memory to his mind. She is mesmerized by how his brain works, like a filing cabinet he can just pull memories out. “Oh, yes we sat together the first day and you got in trouble later that afternoon for adding water to the sand because I had said it was too dry to build a model of the Pyramid of Giza.”

Her smile gets even bigger, “yes! I hope this isn’t weird but I’ve kept up with you over the years, I’ve always thought it was so amazing that someone from my town was off doing incredible things! I can’t believe I’m moving in across from you that makes it look so much worse oh god, I promise I’m not stalking you!” She rambled anxiously.

He laughed, “it’s okay I believe you! I’m surprised honestly that you remember me, we were what? 5? That’s a good memory you must have?”

She walked over to him and out of the way of the men moving her boxes into her apartment, that’s what she was paying them for anyway. She set the box down on the floor beside herself to free her arms, “I think your first ever friend would leave an impact on your memory.”

“We did have a good bond before I was transferred out,” he recalls with a smile.

“Well,” she smiled right back, “I also work with the FBI if you want to get coffee before work on Monday and catch up? See if there’s a possibility of being friends once again?”

“Yeah!” he answers abruptly, “I leave around 7:15 normally and I always go to the little cafe down the road, what department are you in?”

“VICAP,” she said, “just a floor above the BAU, surprised I’m only running into you now”

“You sure you’re not stalking me?” he joked.

She shook her head lightly, her cheeks hurting from smiling so hard. “Promise, just inspired by you, that’s all.”

He chuckled to himself, almost shocked that such a lovely person would be inspired by him. “Well, thank you. I’ll let you get back to moving in and I will see you on Monday Y/N.” he said with a small wave and walked down the corridor.

She sighed to herself, this was going to be amazing.

---

Y/N had barely unpacked anything by the time Monday had rolled around. She spent most of her time working on her bedroom organization, leaving a mess of boxes everywhere else. Going through her closet to find the best outfit for her first-morning commute with Spencer.

Her job didn’t require as much fieldwork as he did, so she could wear anything she wanted to the office as long as it was professional. She settled on black flared dress pants, a nice white turtleneck, the watch her family gave her when she graduated from the academy and her cute healed wedge boots.

She grabbed her purse and wallet, ensuring she had her keys and badge in there before unlocking her safe and clipping her gun to her belt. She grabbed her go bag and coat and draped them over one arm, holding her purse in the other.

With everything she needed, she walked to her front door, turning off her alarm just to change the setting to protect her empty apartment. She closed and locked the door behind herself just as Spencer walked out into the hallway.

“Good morning Spencer,” she said, cheerful as ever.

“You’re awfully cheerful for this time of day,” he yawned after speaking.

“Late night?” she asked, joining him as he walked towards the building entrance.

“We had an emergency case this weekend that kicked my ass, I’ve only been home for 15 hours. Hopefully, today is just a desk day,” he yawned again. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired as well, from moving this weekend.”

“Oh I’m exhausted, normally I don’t leave till quarter to 8, living farther away now is going to suck a bit.”

“At least our building is nice,” he adds.

“It seems wonderful so far.” He held the door for her as they walked into the parking lot, he dug her keys from her bag, “do you want to take my car?”

“Sure, seeing as I don’t have a car, I normally take the subway,” he said softly, walking to the passenger side and opening the door as he heard the door unlock.

“Well if you want a ride every morning I don’t mind, even If you need rides to emergency cases,” she smiled softly.

Spencer insisted on buying her coffee, saying it was only fair for driving him. But really it was because he wanted to spoil her, ever since she said she was inspired by him his mind hasn’t been able to stop playing that sentence on loop. He’s completely enamoured by her, willing to do whatever it takes to get on her good graces. Not realizing she’s willing to do the same for him.

In no time she’s pulling up to the main building, both of them showing their badges before being allowed access into the parking structure of their building. Y/N parked close to the main elevator, having impeccable luck with getting that spot in the garage.

“We still have time before we’re officially on the clock, if you wanted to come meet my team?” He offered, hitting the button in the elevator for floor 3. His floor.

“I’d love to meet the legend that is Penelope Garcia,” she smiled.

“She is wonderful,” he agreed with a smile.

The elevator dinged and she felt her heart drop into her stomach thinking of how Spencer was going to introduce her. He walked with her towards the glass doors, holding them open for her as she walked into the bullpen.

All eyes were suddenly on Spencer and Y/N, so many faces she’s never seen before, and 2 she knows too well from her research on the BAU. She smiled lightly as she walked towards them all. Spencer not far behind her.

“Good morning,” Spencer smiled a small pressed-lipped smile. “This is agent Y/N Y/L/N, she works up in VICAP, she was one of my best friends in elementary school.”

She smiled, so that’s how. “Hello!” She waved, “It’s so nice to meet you all,”

“Derek Morgan,” the tall dark and handsome one reached his hand out for yours.

“Oh, I don’t shake hands sorry,” she said, grabbing her right middle finger with her left hand and smiling lightly.

He laughed, “wow pretty boy, how come you never told us you have a twin?”

“Do you not shake hands either?” She asked him, “we really do have a lot of catching up to do Spence.”

“Emily Prentiss, it’s lovely to see Spence bring in new friends.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve always admired the BAU, I’ve actually compiled a few of the cases you’ve worked on this year, I’m pretty good at finding patterns even the system overlooks.”

“Oh yes, Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve seen your name on all the emails, thank you you’ve sent some of the best-connected cases to us, you’ve brought justice to people who we would have never connected to cases,” JJ said enthusiastically, “I was actually just about to tell Hotch about the newest one you sent me.”

“It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve been carefully looking over this case for 2 years now I knew you’d all be able to help with it. It’s right up your ally,” she nervously laughed.

“You sent in the files on the family annihilator that was going after people he believed to be decedents of Cain from the bible right?” David Rossi asked.

She nodded her head and sighed, “yeah everyone told me it was a stretch to catch onto but when I noticed all the men were from the same online ancestry family tree I knew you guys needed to see it.”

“That was specifically interesting, the death of his own brother led him to seek revenge on the father of murder,” Spencer agreed.

“So what’s this new one you’ve brought us?” Derek asked.

“Oh, would you like to pitch it to us? We’re all here we can meet you in the briefing room before your shift starts upstairs?” JJ offered.

“Oh sure,” she smiled, finally it was her time to show off.

Soon enough, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia and Jenifer Jareau were all staring at you in the briefing room.

“In Wichita Kansas, there have been a string of murders over the last 6 years that have all been incredibly, creepily similar,” she started explaining as she handed out the case files to everyone.

“Each victim is female, 16 to 24, they’ve all been strangled with rope while completely naked, signs of brutal sexual assault, binding and torture. They’ve all been found wrapped in shower curtains and placed in various public locations. Clearly a sign of remorse with how he keeps them covered but still a taunt that we can’t find him even now that he’s 6 victims deep.”

“Clarise Richardson, victim number 1 was raped, strangled with rope and left by an underpass. She was found in 1998, the M.E said she was dead 16 hours when they found her, COD was asphyxiation. Her family reports she was last seen at least 73 hours before she was found. So he kept her for a while. There were fibres under her nails of green carpet, either she was held at someone's house or in a van with carpet like they had in the 70s and 80s.”

“Were there any fingerprints or DNA on the bodies?” Prentiss asked.

“Yes, there was a sperm sample retrieved on victim number 5, Sharon Flynn. Most likely he wore a condom for the rest of his rapes and he wasn’t in the system already. Either he never ejaculated in earlier rapes before he grew to murder or his victims never came forward before 1998.”

“which is highly likely, we saw in the EARs case in California how hard it was to get the men and women who were raped to even come forward. There were 4 confirmed cases in the news before more came forward with similar stories. It’s seen as a shameful thing when in reality it’s just giving them more power if they believe they’ll never be caught.” Spencer explained.

“Yes, it’s very hard to come forward when it happens to you,” she agreed before quickly hanging subject. “I’ve been searching for any rapes in the area with similar MO, choking, BDSM, ropes, vans with green carpet, and I’ve found 3 women who claimed to be raped by a man at festivals the late 70’s who had an orange van with green carpet who bonded them up in a very intricate form of bondage that tightened every time they squirmed to entice them not to move. And from my research, that's the same pattern of rope as the rope burn on the 6 bodies we have.”

“All 6 of them are fairly similar it’s just their dumpsites that sets them apart. He didn’t have one strict area that he stuck to, he seems to have no problem travelling to them.” Emily said, flipping through the files.

“I’m thinking he has a job the requires him to still use his van. Like a travelling plumber, a phone or computer tech, home surveillance or maybe even he’s with Jehovah's witness or the Mormon church. It would explain him being able to get into these women’s houses and neighbourhoods long enough to pick someone, learn their schedule and grab them.” Y/N explained.

“Garcia, can you look into those businesses, as well as independent contractors, satellite companies, mailmen, and anyone else who might have been on the job by the victim's houses on the dates and times they were last seen,” Hotch asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll also run the DNA samples in my other databases.”

“I was about to ask you to do that, I think he might have children. There is a very large gap between the rapes and the jump to rape and murder, if you could run the saliva sample from victim 3 that's on her neck with any foster system or genealogy company to see if he has a son or uncle we can trace his sample to?”

“That's a great idea, I’ve never thought to do that,” Garcia smiled. “I like you, you’re a smart cookie!”

“Looks like we’re headed to Wichita,” Hotch said. “Do you think VICAP would be mad if we stole you for a few days? You have more connections with the Wichita police than we do, they might cooperate more If they know a friendly face.”

“Absolutely, let me grab my go-bag from upstairs!” Y/N jumped up, “I’ll be right back down!”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, And with that, she was out the door.

“Reid if you don’t marry her I will,” Penelope said softly.

“Okay.” He blushed.

—

She took a seat beside Reid on the jet, the two of them chatting amongst themselves for a while before they were called for the second briefing.

“So local PD think they have a recent victim from this weekend they want us to check out,” Penelope said over video chat. “she’s a little different than the others. Katie Newton, 27 was found bound to her bed, already having passed and was being assaulted when her husband came home. He screamed at the guy who was only wearing a ski mask and “tight-y white-y’s” as the husband described. He grabbed his bag and clothes with him but he left her tied up with the little time he had to knock the husband out of the way and run out.”

“Did he get any other identification marks on the unsub?” Y/N asked.

“He said he was pasty white, 5’8 and he didn’t talk. He didn’t scream, nothing, he just grabbed his things and ran. He does however remember he had a very large brown birthmark on his chest covering the right nipple down to his stomach.”

“Okay that’s good to know, why do they think it’s our guy?” Rossi asked.

“Blood found on the rope she was tied up with can match back to 13 different women. 6 of the murders that Y/N brought to us, 1 of the rapes she found and 5 other break-in and rapes of other women in the area.”

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered to herself.

“Well done on finding this one Y/N, this one is going to be big.” Morgan complimented her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she smiled back, “I didn’t expect any of this when I connected the 6 of them originally. This is insane.”

“have you ever been in fieldwork like this?” Hotch asked.

“At the academy, I was combat trained, I have all my clearances and I’m a great shot. I’m good on my feet and I tested perfectly on hostage talk down.” She tried not to brag but this was almost as important as a job interview.

“Well damn,” Morgan nodded in approval. “We might just have to seal you full time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all!”

“Good,” hotch smiled, something he didn’t do often. “I’m going to send you and Reid to the M.E to see what else we can find out about these new break-in homicides. Prentiss and Rossi, I want you to travel to the last dumpsite and the latest crime scene to see what else could connect them. Morgan and JJ come with me to the station to set up communication with the local PD and media we don’t need them naming him like they did with BTK.”

“Garcia, would you also widen the search for anyone convicted of sexual misconduct, flashing, stalking, break-ins where underwear was stolen or and peeping toms? Go all the way back to the 70s. If any of them are now working for any businesses that have vans and require him to travel. This guy has to have a mistake somewhere that you will find.” Y/N asked one last time.

“Got it, genius girl, over and out.”

—-

The bureau had the funds for rooms for the main team, meaning Y/N had to double up with someone and she had to decide who once they landed and headed to the hotel.

“It wouldn’t be weird if we got a room with two queen beds right?” She asked Spencer, “it would give us a chance to catch up in our downtime like a sleepover we never had as kids.” She nervously rambled in the SUV as Reid drove.

“No I don’t mind, It would be fun if we get any sleep in this case. This one seems like it will be a bit of a brain rattler.” Reid agreed with a soft pressed-lipped smile.

They booked their rooms, dropped off their things and all headed their separate ways. The M.E’s office was close to the police station, the two of you in an SUV followed Hotch, JJ and Morgan in another down the road.

The bodies had all been cremated or buried shortly after being found, there wasn’t anything fresh enough to examine for them but they did have access to all the information on all the cases.

“I’ve been the medical examiner here for the last 30 years,” the nice old man said as he led them down the hall to the storage room. “These ones have all been some of the worst cases I’ve seen here. So much so that I keep them all in their own boxes just in case a day like today ever happens.”

“That is very helpful for us thank you so much!” She smiled at him as he held the storage door open.

“They’re all labelled by name and date. If you have any questions about tests or need me to run more with what we have left just give me a holler!” He said as he left the room.

Y/N sighed. “Why do I feel like this is going to take a million years?”

“I can read 20,000 words a minute, it will take me 3 hours to read everything in this room. Luckily we only need to read these few boxes.” Spencer pointed at the wall.

“Okay boy wonder, stop showing off,” she smiled, taking the Victim # 5 case box down first. “She was the first one I put into the system when I joined VICAP.”

“Is that why you sent this case to JJ?”

“Partly,” she sighed again. “There was the emotional attachment of this being my first case but there were just too many connections I knew you guys could bring justice to her family. She was so young.”

Spencer opened a box and she watched as his eyes darted across the pages as he flipped through them. She was mesmerized by how he could do that. But he was probably even smarter than god so it made sense.

“This is interesting. They found LSD in the system of the 3 rapes from back in the day which isn’t that uncommon for the time period or the places where they were abducted, but what’s strange is the amount. This is enough LSD to make someone go insane, no one in their right mind would willingly take this much LSD?” Spencer said.

“They were all found 2 days later dehydrated and alone in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way of knowing if more women didn’t have this happen and died where he left them.”

“He is probably in his 50’s now. How fit would he have to be to still be able to break into houses and rape and murder women?” Spencer asked.

“Well that might be just why he stopped dumping, he might have a bad back and can't lift the dead weight. He is more willing to get caught in someone's house so that he doesn’t have to do the dumping, he can just leave after. 5 of the 6 home invasions were with women who lived alone or husbands who worked night shifts. So they wouldn’t be home. He watched them long enough to know when he could successfully get away with this.” Y/N explained as she flipped through boxes.

“And the rope technique our last victim was found in is exactly the same as the rope burns as the others you’re correct,” Spencer complimented her. “He might have ex-girlfriends or even an ex-wife who he would have tried BDSM on and she didn’t like it, so now he feels like he has to do it this way. When we deliver the profile we should alarm the public about him to draw out any women who would have willingly tried something with our unsub.”

Y/N nodded as he spoke, agreeing with everything. “That could have even been the original stressor, all the women are pretty vanilla, I talked to the husbands over the phone and the original rape victims. They weren’t into trying anything like this in their free time. 2 of the rapes were also virgins. They all had good jobs and good grades, they were outstanding, low-risk members of the community. He might be getting revenge on the women who wouldn’t indulge in this fantasy.”

“He probably feels a lack of control in his personal life, maybe he even has a more dominating wife who he feels he can't stand up to so this is how he deals with it.” Spencer agreed.

“Let's go see Hotch, I think we should deliver the profile.”

—-

They walked into the police station, gliding through the doors like they owned the place. Emily and JJ watched as they walked over to hotch with the exact same energy. Both speaking with their hands and rambling about what they had found.

“So he’s a fit, early 50’s, white male. Married, probably with kids, works with or owns a van. He has a problem with authority in his own life, he feels like he is in a submissive role all day be it from a female boss who’s always on his ass or his wife. It’s possible he even has only daughters and no sons. He feels emasculated, surrounded by women, which is why he started taking these women originally to rape them with BDSM-like acts to finally have that control he lacks in his everyday life.” Y/N explained. “He wouldn’t be very handsome, he would have issues speaking with most women, he keeps to himself, he might have even failed out of jobs involving the police or security, he wants to be in a place of power but he has none of the social skills to accomplish what he wants. I would even look into local army cadets or boy scouts he could be a very old member or the father of someone in one of those groups. His affinity for binding them up and the types of ropes he used are very common BDSM ropes but the knots are reminiscent of ones my brothers would do in at Navy cadets.”

“You got all that from the M.E?” Derek said, shocked at how good she was at this.

“I’ve been staring at his work for 2 years, every time a case from this town came in I checked into it to tie it to this guy. I don’t know what it is but this one gets to me, like BTK or Ed Kemper, these men have specific vendettas against women, they need to dominate women because they have a strong mother or wife in their presence. I know the type of man he is and I want to see him rot in prison.”

Spencer walked over to another table, spreading out a map and beginning to look at the geographical profile. Making down the 3 rapes and their dumpsites, the 6 abducted women and their dumpsites as well as the 6 home invasion homicides. Narrowing down on the geographical profile to find his comfort zone.

Y/N stood beside him watching him draw perfect circles over the map, placing a dot right in the middle. “He either lives or works in this area. Everything is within 35 miles of this area.”

Hotch took out his phone and called Garcia, placing the phone on the table with the speaker on. “Hello my lovelies, what can I do for you?”

“Have you narrowed anything down?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I have 117 orange vans originally bought in the late ’70s that are still registered to men in this area all between the ages of 45 and 60. 63 of them work in home security, 13 of those have a son in boy scouts and 4 of those have prior peeping tom allegations.” She explained.

“Any of the 4 look interesting?” Hotch asked.

“We have Travis Johnson, 55 he works for Acorn Security, he was doing service in each town that a murder took place the same week they went missing. He is married and has been since 1980 right when he stopped raping and his 5th and last daughter was born the same week that Clarice Richardson was murdered in 1998. They took in a foster child to give him a boy 3 years ago who is in boy scouts, and has all his badges in you guessed it, knot tying.”

“Do we have his home and work address?” Morgan asked.

“Yes of course I do chocolate thunder, they’ve been sent to you already. I’ve also sent a list of his appointments for today, he might be on the hunt.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan smiled at the phone.

“It's what they pay me the big bucks for.”

She hung up and hotch immediately started handing out bullet-proof vests. “Time to catch him.”

Spencer rested a hand on your back as he passed you, smiling as if to say 'good job'.

Y/n grabbed her vest and her go-bag and quickly changed into something more suited for chasing after a runner. It almost always came to that in her experience. She came back out in jeans and a white long sleeve shirt tucked in, her vest on and her hair up. She placed her earpiece in and straightened out her gun. Making sure the clip was full and adding an extra one to her vest.

“Ready?” She asked Spencer as he tightened his vest.

“Let’s do this.”

They split up, Prentiss Rossi and JJ went to his house while Reid, Morgan, Hotch and Y/L/N took a squad of local cops to where the unsub was supposedly doing his house calls.

They slowly drove through the neighbourhoods, lights off just paroling up and down the streets. They saw an orange van parked on the side of the street, they watched as the unsub got out of the driver's seat, grabbing a bag and walking up to a woman’s house. Slowly they all got out of the SUV, Morgan and Hotch taking the back while Reid and Y/L/N took the front door. They waited for confirmation that he wasn’t alone in this home, before going in.

They could hear a woman talking and then there was a scream, “I’m going in,” Y/L/N said, Kicking the door down before Reid took the lead, Y/N following behind him.

“Travis Johnson? FBI!” Spencer yelled.

The two of them cleared the main room, working their way to the hallway, Reid let her take the lead to the bedroom where they heard the struggle.

“Travis put down the rope and let her go,” Y/N said slowly as he walked into the room, gun pointed.

“And why should I?” He panicked, holding the woman against his chest, she was crying gripping onto the rope he was holding tightly around her throat.

“I’m a huge fan of your work!” Y/N said. “I work for VICAP, I’m the one who had to put each and every single one of your victims in the system. I know exactly how much you’re into control and BDSM, it’s honestly surprising that you have to force these women into it, why are women so against letting a big strong man control them anymore?” She said softly as she lowered the gun and her voice.

“You know, I’ve always thought BDSM was super sexy, I’d love to be tied up and taken control of, if you put down the rope how would you like to have a willing participant one day?” She teased him, getting closer and closer, she could see he was rock hard. He loosened the rope and pushed her to the side, stepping forward towards Y/N who quickly flipped him to the floor and cuffed him.

“Travis Johnson you are under arrest for the rape and murder of over 12 women. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one will be appointed for you. If you chose to share anything without a lawyer present you have the right to stop at any time. Is that clear?”

She single handily lifted him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as the men in the hall just watched with awe.

“You’re a little bitch you know that?” The unsub said as he struggled in her grasp.

She slammed him against the hallway wall, pressing right up against his back, whispering in his ear “oh so now you have a big mouth huh, finally feel like you can talk to a woman who isn’t tied down? I’m in control here, you’re my little bitch you hear me? Only good boys get to speak to me.” She said as she pulled him back off the wall and handed him off to local PD. “Have fun being a little bitch in prison Travis.”

She stood there with her arms crossed catching her breath as the adrenalin shook through her body.

“Well done Y/L/N,” Hotch and Morgan put their fists out to give her props.

“How would you like to join the team for good?” Hotch asked? “we’ve been looking for an extra hand.”

“Absolutely!”

—

They were going to spend the night in Wichita, all agreeing to spend the night getting drinks at the local bar suggested by the PD. Piling into the SUV all together with Spencer offering to DD.

“How much time have you put into Travis?” Prentiss asked in the back seat beside Y/N.

“Sharon Flynn was the first case I ever put into my system 2 years ago. Her case looked so gruesome and evil it never left my mind. So then when Alice Webster, number 6 came in I did some more digging and found the 4 before Sharon and the 3 rapes, I knew it was cold for a while but something about him always stuck with me. And for some reason last week when I emailed the info to JJ out of the blue I had a gut feeling he was at it again.” Y/N explained.

“It’s a special talent to just feel when something is wrong.” JJ smiled back at them.

“I’ve always been, not fascinated, by serial killers but more interested in the chase of justice.” She explained, “if that makes sense. I love puzzles and finding answers and at least this way the end result is families finding peace.”

They pulled into the parking lot, all of them finding their way into the bar before the ladies went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“So Y/N,” Prentiss said, taking her phone out and calling Penelope. “The ladies of the BAU are very close, so welcome to our little group.”

“exactly.” Penelope said over the phone, “welcome to the group you’re going to fit right in!” She cheered.

“Thank you, VICAP was not a tight-knit group like y’all are. I’m extremely excited to get to know you all more.” Y/N smiled as she straightened her shirt out in the mirror.

“So you and Spencer?” JJ asked.

“We were in the same kindergarten class,” Y/N said with a small smile. “I thought he was going to be my best friend and then he took some test and was bumped into 4th grade. By the time I was in high school he had already finished his second Ph.D.”

“So you never kept up with each other?” Prentiss asked.

She shook her head. “I knew of him, my mom is the Activities Organizer at the home his mom is at, he used to go to the park across from my house, he now lives across the hall from me and works with me. I think we were always supposed to be friends but it wasn’t the right time till now.”

“Sounds like you have a crush,” Penelope teased through the phone.

“I do.” She smiled to herself. “I think I always have.”

“If pretty boy was here he’d say that there is a statistical likelihood that because you’ve been interested in him for longer than 3 years you’re most likely in love with him and will never not be.” Prentiss explained, “I heard him say that to Hotch once.”

She nodded along, “I guess I just need to get him to fall in love with me now.”

“It won't be that difficult.” JJ placed her hand on Y/N’s back and they all made their way out of the bathroom smiling.

The men were all sitting together at a table with everybody’s drinks already waiting.

“We didn’t know what you liked,” Spencer said as Y/N sat beside him. “So I said I’d go get whatever you want.”

“Or we can go up to the bar together.” She smiled.

The two of them got up and walked to the bar, the rest of the team watched them.

She leaned against the bar, ordering her drinks and pressing in close to Spencer. “It’s been so nice getting to spend time with you.” He said softly.

She was handed her drinks before she could even respond. Taking her tequila shot there and bringing her margarita back to the table as Spencer followed swiftly behind her.

They all drank and exchanged case stories from within and beyond the BAU, Spencer was able to add a lot of input but he was always cut off. Y/N leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “you can tell me all your facts later I really want to hear them.” She smiled so softly Spencer felt his heart about to burst in his chest.

Emily left the group to go flirt with the bartender, JJ was on FaceTime in the SUV with Will, Rossi had disappeared with a local woman and Hotch and Morgan were exchanging childhood stories over a beer in the corner.

The bar was playing old, slow music, almost everyone had filtered out but there were still older local couples hanging out and dancing in the middle of the room.

“Do you dance?” Y/N asked Spencer.

“I can try.”

She took his hand and led him to the floor. Drunk on the alcohol and his touch as she slipped his hands around to her back, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head on his chest. She felt his cheek rest on the top of her head as the two of them just swayed in a circle together.

“Do you have any other memories of me?” Y/N asked him softly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You lived across the street from the park, and your mom works at the nursing home. You have 2 younger brothers who have always looked older than you. They would come and go when I was sitting on the lone swing and I’d always see you in the window reading. I knew you were my age but it still never felt right for me to talk to you when I was in university.”

“I watched you every time you were on the swings, you looked so peaceful. You read at least a book a day every time you were out there and it became so special to me seeing you there every weekend.” She explained.

“The world works in mysterious ways.” He explained.

She held him as close as she could. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect her day to go like this. She expected coffee and a weird goodbye in the elevator and staring at a computer screen all day. Somehow she ended up in Spencer's arms in a different state after having caught the serial killer that's haunted her dreams for years.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her back, “do you want to go back to the hotel? We have an early flight.” He whispered.

“Yeah,” she smiled pulling back but reaching down to hold his hand as they walked over to Hotch and Morgan.

They drove home quietly, everyone in the back was happily drunk and tired. They parked and wandered up to their rooms, saying goodbye at their doors and disappearing into their rooms.

Spencer let her take the bathroom first, changing into her PJ’s and then he did the same. She laid in her bed, facing his as he sat up and read.

“Can I come lie beside you?” She asked, knowing exactly how needy she sounded.

He nodded, pulling the sheet back so she could slip right in. She laid on her side and just looked up at him. Absolutely astounded that she was with him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Spencer asked, putting his book down and sliding down the bed to be on her level.

“Yeah?” She said nervously.

“Today you said it’s hard for people to come forward after they are assaulted, it sounded like personal experience and I wanted you to know if you need anyone, I’m always available for you.” He explained.

“Oh,” her face dropped. “I was 12, he was 15. You were in high school at the same time as him. I don’t know if you’d remember him, his name was Christopher.”

Spencer nodded along as she spoke. “When my mom finally went back to work she didn’t trust me watching my brothers alone so her friend offered to babysit us during the days. Her foster son took advantage of me the whole summer and when my parents finally found out he went into Sophomore year and told everyone that the nerdy girl who looks like bugs bunny was obsessed with him, that I stalked him and that anything I said about him wasn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder to soothe her.

“It’s okay, they used to call me bugs bunny because of my overbite. I used to rest my front teeth on my front lip and they would throw carrots at me,” she explained further.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly.

“What does?”

“When I was 13 the seniors had a cheerleader invite me onto the football field and convinced me to strip down to my underwear, she was about to kiss me when all the football guys ran out and beat me up, they tied me to the goal post and the one said ‘we should really hook you up with bugs bunny, you losers would be perfect together.’ And they left me there all night long.”

“Oh Spencer I am so sorry,” she cuddled in close to him, placing her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I think we went through our traumas separately all these years because something bigger than us knew we’d need each other one day.”

“When we get back to Virginia, would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asked.

“I would want nothing more.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

They stayed like that for a while until Spencer felt Y/N slip into the night's slumber. He quietly reached for the lamp, turning it off and readjusting himself under Y/N’s grasp.

He fell asleep not so long after. Sleeping happily for the first time in a long time.

[youremyonlyhope]

The Halloween Apocalypse

Super sleepy since I haven’t slept since Friday night. And I was on my feet for most of the day and also didn’t eat anything but a few pieces of candy between 8am until right now as I eat dinner. I also have a can of hard seltzer because a coworker gave my team a pack as a present. Yay Doctor Who time!

Also why does it say Encore? I was too tired to look into it earlier because I needed to take a nap. But if I hadn’t been working, could I have watched it at the same time as the Brits and not been slightly spoiled? (Answer: yes. Oh well. I would have been working anyway even if I knew I could have watched it)

“All of this is your fault.” “What do you mean!?” Adorable. Oh you just know the shippers went insane over them landing in bed together. So the one spoiler I saw before remembering the episode was airing in the UK first was that some people are really loving Dan. Let’s see why. Ah leading tours and not a tour guide. Got it. He’s not gonna get that date. That gun looks Time Lord. He’s like a blue Voldemort (I hate to bring up Harry Potter but the lack of nose gives that vibe ok) Ok god... the TARDIS is bleeding... Doctor stop hiding things from Yasmin come on.

Oof ok I regret this hard seltzer already. Hopefully it makes me sleepy enough i just fall asleep the moment this episode is done and sleep through till morning.

WAIT. Wait. I saw this as a sneak peek, but now the adult trick-or-treater looks familiar... hmm... Wow, it’s a furry. Doctor, stop eating things off the floor. That miniature house is cute honestly. “We didn’t receive the warning” Ok that’s one way of running away from your problems... not a good way... but a way... Yeah that’s a lot to wake up to. Being held in a cage by a dog on the spaceship. Oh yay, meeting people in the wrong order again. Claire looks sort of familiar. NO the TARDIS is so sick oh god. Doctor, love, taking people on fun rides isn’t the same thing as letting people in. You know this. Martha complained about this a long time ago. MM MMM NOO. NOPE. NOT A WEEPING ANGEL. No wonder Blink was included in the Doctor Who marathon today, not just because it’s a popular episode. Should I also be scared that Midnight was included? (I say as if I got to watch any of the marathon at all) Yeah I’ve blinked like 30 times so far this scene since my eyes are so dry and tired ugh. Yeah that sucks. It got her. Girl, I don’t know why you didn’t slam the door closed and then blink. Gonna just ignore the name of that outpost since I know it made half the fandom’s brains explode just now. Not acknowledging it. Ok, he looks familiar. Unidentified phenomena is right. That’s not good. Their house on the Arctic is cute. Honestly, after ignoring the warning, they deserve Blue Voldy showing up in the middle of the night. Oh ok she’s a grey Voldy and is in on it. Makes sense. Who’s playing the dog guy by the way? His voice sounds familiar-ish too. ”Do things often go wrong?” Yes.

UGH. DOCTOR WHO. I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER DOING THESE LITTLE MINI PREVIEWS IN THE COMMERCIALS. I’VE BEEN COMPLAINING FOR YEARS. COME ON.

Ah yay, another situation where the alien is actually being nice. God this guy on the outpost looks SO familiar and I can’t tell if I actually know him from something or if he just a type. I think I know... but I don’t wanna say in case I’m wrong Awww he’s leaving his post. Wow. I hope he stays ok. Oh Dan calls her Doc like Graham did... I’m sad. I love the TARDIS door opening in random places, though I know it means she’s sick or something. ”I had a mate who had one of these, I think his was a bit bigger though.” oh my god, if this is supposed to foreshadow Dan knowing a previous Doctor...

WAIT. WAIIIITTT. Did the Weeping Angel purposefully save Claire, or was it just attacking her?

SONTAR-HA. This is an interesting throwback redesign. Blue Voldy has on a power suit on now. Those shoulder pads. This better not be the Master. I know the Master looks burnt sometimes in Old Who. I don’t want the plot twist to be that he’s the Master. Where’s Dhawan!Master please. ”The only thing I can do.” Run? “We’re heading to Earth” Umm no don’t. I’m sure Diane will understand an alien kidnapping and universe ending event as a reason to accidentally stand her up. Ah ok Grey Voldy got her. Never mind. Is it gonna be shaped like the TARDIS or something to confuse it? Ah ok never mind, shielding Earth. They should have thought of that before having to painstakingly move each human one by one. WOAH WAIT. Nothing can get through the TARDIS doors (besides those things from Spyfall) and the flux just threw it open. Not good. Doctor stop hitting the TARDIS with a mallet! OHHHH THE TIME VORTEX. Wow I completely forgot about the 1820 dude until they showed him again just now. Honestly, I was still groggy from my nap that point so I have no memory of his scene. Yep that episode was mostly an intro to the rest of the season I guess.

Also, speak of the devil, now Spyfall is on. Do I rewatch it purely for O... hmmm...

Ok. Now I can google the cast. IT WAS GREY WORM. I KNEW IT. The dreads and me being half asleep made me wonder if I was just imagining that it was him, but it’s Grey Worm! Yay! Well no one else who felt familiar has names that ring any bells for me. Oh well. Yay Grey Worm!

(Rewatching Spyfall as I proofread this and I forgot that the Doctor sends O kisses in the message... adorable)

[braincoins]

For the Prompt: shallura and ryoumelle, double date, festival

((y’know for someone who claims to prefer Gen, here you are with TWO SHIPS!! ‘course you also know it’ll mean Twinganes fun. I’M ONTO YOU!))

A major victory, and well worth celebrating! The Castle of Lions headed back to Oriande, the safest place in all the universe to have what Lance called “an absolute blowout” of a party, and the Diaspora (under the supervision of Coran and Lance) had put together a hell of a celebratory festival: games, rides, music, tons of food... everyone was having a great time.

So it was strange for Romelle and Ryou to look over and see the Princess and the Black Paladin looking a little... restrained. They looked at them, then looked to each other, and a decision was made in that moment: divide and conquer. But instead of going to her cousin, Romelle grabbed hold of Shiro and hauled him away. Before Allura could protest, Ryou swooped in. The two pairs couldn’t know it, but their conversations started out... oddly identical.

“What are you doing?” This from both Allura and Shiro.

“We need to talk,” Ryou and Romelle declared. Romelle pulled Shiro aside into a quieter location, away from her boyfriend and his girlfriend.

“Is something wrong?” All business, all (possibly-hideous) ears. At least they were listening.

“I should ask you that. Everyone else is having fun!”

“I’m having fun,” came the defensive reply.

“Yeah, you sure look like it,” was the sarcastic response. Ryou wouldn’t have dreamed of being sarcastic to Allura before, but they’d spent some time together and, besides, he figured it would be a surprise, and therefore throw her off her game.

“I am! It’s just...”

“Just what?”

And here the individual chats began to diverge. 

“There’s so much more yet to do,” Allura confessed, looking down at her hands. “This was an important victory, yes, but it isn’t the end of the fight. And I can’t help thinking... a-about those who aren’t freed from the Empire yet. They’re out there being oppressed, possibly tortured and killed, and we’re having a party.”

“You okayed having it, right?” Ryou asked her.

“Yes, because it’s good for morale, and the paladins were so insistent, but... well, I just can’t help it.” She fidgeted uncharacteristically, glanced around as if her brief moment of uncertainty was surely the center of attention. 

-----------

“We won a battle, not the war,” Shiro said with a sigh. “And, truth be told, I don’t know what our next step is. When this is over, people are going to be looking to us to lead again, and... I don’t know where to lead them to.”

“I bet the Empire is in the same boat,” Romelle pointed out. “They probably don’t know what next strike to make against us, either.”

“That just means that it’ll be a surprise when it comes, and even though the Coalition is huge and the Castle’s almost full now, we’re still a much smaller force compared to the galaxy-spanning Galra Empire. We can’t afford surprises.” He glanced around, to make sure his negative statements hadn’t been overheard.

-----------

“Look, I don’t know how Alteans work,” Ryou admitted, “but for humans, we need down time. Sleep and rest are when our brains take all the information we’ve learned and sort it out, slot it all into its proper places.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but he could guess where she was headed.

“And before you say it, yes, this counts as rest. It’s a break from the stress. When you have something you’re worried about, sometimes you stop trying to find a solution and just tell yourself ‘think, dammit! Think of something!’ And that doesn’t help! But after you step away from it for a bit, sometimes you can come back and see things clearer.”

“What you’re saying,” she summarized, “is that this is better in the long term.”

“Exactly.”

“Even if lives are lost in the meantime?”

He sighed heavily. “Lives are lost every day, Allura. A lot of those are just... just normal deaths. Old age, a sickness, a bad injury. You can’t prevent those. And if you fight every single moment of every single day, you’ll burn yourself out, become an easier target. And then the Galra Empire wins, and wins forever. 

“You can’t know who’s dying of what, and you can’t save everyone. But you can make the decision that saves more lives - including yours and Takashi’s.”

“I know.” She was nodding sort of absently. “I know you’re right, but it’s hard sometimes...”

“Hey,” he said, changing tack abruptly to snap her out of it. “stepping back and thinking on it helped get Takashi his first date.”

She whipped around to face him. “REALLY?!” she asked, eyes wide with hopeful expectation at yet another “Younger Shiro” story. 

Ryou grinned. Works every time.

-----------

“Well, who says the next step has to be an immediately offensive one?” Romelle asked, with the confidence born of being on the colony’s ruling council. Sure, she was the youngest member, but she’d still been helping to lead her people for the last few years.

“What do you mean?”

“Training!” she declared. “Split the paladins up into groups. Let Keith teach hand-to-hand fighting, have Lance run sniper drills, get Hunk to show off improvised building skills, and Pidge to improve your hackers’... hacking.” She was still getting used to the human terms and how to use them. “Separate your crew into either skills they already have that they need to improve or skills they need to learn, cycle them through the various ‘classes’ taught by the paladins. And while they’re doing all that...”

“...Allura and I can be looking at what our next objective can be,” he finished for her, nodding along.

“Exactly!” She beamed. “And everyone will be better trained when you’ve decided! You can do all that here, just outside of town, near the Castle.”

He smiled. “Thank you, Romelle. Having some idea of what to do next helps me focus on today.”

“Good!” She grabbed his arm again and hauled him back towards where they’d left their significant others.

-----------

“Shiro!” Allura said brightly as she saw her cousin pulling him in their direction. “Did you really ask the girl you liked if she wanted to ‘visit your planet’ while wearing silver ping pong ball antennas on your head?”

“What?!” He snapped his gaze to Ryou and his twin brother’s shit-eating grin. “WHY would you tell her that?”

“I was using an anecdote to illustrate a point,” he replied evenly (though still grinning widely). 

“Answer the question!” Romelle piped up. “I wanna know now, too!”

Takashi sighed. “Technically, no. I wore old-fashioned ‘alien’ antennas from an old Halloween costume and asked two people if they wanted to visit my planet, because I had a crush on both Amaia and her cousin, Jonan. She rolled her eyes at me and he just laughed.”

“But you still got a date with Jonan,” Ryou pointed out. 

“Did this ‘Jonan’ want to know about romantic compatibility with an alien species?” Allura asked, barely able to contain her mirth.

“No, that’s a Takashi line, through and through,” he declared as Shiro turned red all the way to his ears.

Romelle snorted. “I distinctly remember you asking me about...”

It was Ryou’s turn to go crimson. “Hey, uhh... look at that game! With the... uh...”

“Laser versions of Galra power rifles,” Shiro said. “Yeah, let’s go play. Pretty sure Allura can’t accidentally pick up the wrong end of a gun that’s stuck in place.”

“Ha ha,” she said dryly, but they all laughed and she was arm in arm with Shiro, smiling, as they went over to the booth.

“You’re pretty good at this,” Romelle whispered to Ryou as she took his hand.

“I learned from the best,” he replied, kissing her cheek quickly.

[need-a-fugue]

We Grow Together (29)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tessa Sullivan (OFC)

Chapter Summary: Tessa finally learns what Lobe has in store for her people...

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?

“That smells awful,” she tells him as he takes a seat across from her, setting down his mug in the process.

“It’s peppermint tea,” says with a smirk.

Tessa scrunches up her nose. “That’s disgusting. Be a man and drink some coffee.”

Cal lets out a smooth sort of chuckle as he leans back in his chair. “Nah. I gave up coffee a while ago. Too many jitters.” He cocks an eyebrow at her. “Maybe you should try tea too.”

She gives him an odious look. “I’m not jittery.”

“Okay,” he drawls out amid a sardonic laugh.

“I’m not,” she protests. “What the fuck?”

“See that?” he points at her. “That is irritability. Still working too much and never sleeping?” he asks with a knowing smirk. “You should at least try to stop drinking coffee after four.”

“Thanks for the advice,” she deadpans.

He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. In a low voice, he asks, “Want some more advice?” She simply stares ahead at him. “Back out of this meetup with Lobe.”

“Why?”

He shakes his head, dropping his eyes to avoid her glare. “What are you doing, sweetheart?”

“Cal – ”

“No,” he interrupts, looking up and jerking his hands into a silencing posture. “What are you doing?”

There’s a very real, very palpable tension in the air that throws her off. She’d been trying to block out his energy ever since he sat down, not at all interested in reliving old times by pulling in his… essence. But she couldn’t block out the unease he was putting out now. It was a sort of anger and apprehension in one, perhaps a bit of hostility too. She looks up at him with confused eyes. “Why are you so mad?” she asks without thinking.

“Mad?” he repeats, face turning stern. He leans in even further and hisses out, “I know you’re not looking for another job. I know that Stark just asked you to run some new division.”

Taken aback, she asks, “How do you know that?”

He scoffs. “People talk, sugar.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean I’m taking it. I figure, now’s a good time to look around and see if there’s anything… better out there.”

“Better than being on the board of what is arguably the single most powerful corporation in the world?” He gives her a skeptical stare. “Bullshit.”

“You don’t know me,” she replies, sounding every bit the petulant child. “Not anymore.”

He simply smiles in return. “Yes I do.” His eyes narrow as he continues to stare her down. “Now what are you up to?”

She looks away, leans back with her coffee cup in hand, and turns her gaze out the window to the passersby on the street. With a long sigh, she mutters, “How bad is it?” When Cal doesn’t respond, she turns her eyes back toward him, sees him shift uncomfortably in his seat. “What’s he doing, Cal?”

“He’s trying to create the Third Species,” he says without preamble.

For the briefest of moments, Tessa’s breath is taken away. The Third Species. It’s something that Xavier had taught them all about. When she was still a child, she had read John Sublime’s bizarre manifesto about worthy humans who could attain special powers by reaping them from enhanced individuals. These men and women could choose the abilities they believed they deserved… and then steal them from others. From mutants. In Sublime’s mind, mutants were nothing more than some sort of crop, something to be harvested and broken down and consumed for the benefit of others. It had turned her stomach that someone would think that way. And it had given her nightmares to realize that his ideas had sparked a sort of cult following.

During her time in the X-Men, there were at least two instances when they encountered these followers. They’d dubbed themselves the U-Men. And while they certainly played the part of dangerous, radical extremists, they did not ever seem to have any sort of special powers, despite claiming that they one day would. But what if they were right? What if they could harvest mutant powers and use them to enhance themselves. That sort of thing wasn’t exactly out of the realm of possibility. After all, Dr. Sublime had been a participant in the Weapon X program that had turned Logan into the Wolverine… and the Super Soldier program that had successfully created Captain America from a sickly, spindly Steve Rogers.

“He’s part of the U-Men?” she asks hesitantly.

Cal almost laughs. “Those lunatics? No way. This guy… he’s way more dangerous than a bunch of dorky zealots.” He raises an assessing brow. “He’s a businessman. And he recognizes an opportunity.”

“To give people… super powers?” Her voice goes high at the end, taking on a disbelieving and almost fearful tone.

“Look around, sugar,” he says, falling back into his seat. “Ever since aliens invaded our planet and your boss put together a band of merry gentleman with superpowers of their own to fight it… everybody wants to be… better.”

Her brow furrows as she states, “That’s not true.”

“Okay, not everybody. Some people want everyone with super powers to be eradicated.” She gives him a horrified look and he smiles at her gently. “What happens every time there’s another mass shooting in this country?” he asks. When she doesn’t respond, only twists her face in confusion, he goes on. “People either want to ban all guns… eliminate the threat. Or they want to arm themselves to the teeth so that they can fight fire with fire.” He reaches across the table and lays his hand on top of hers. “People are scared. And they want to be able to protect themselves. Now more so than ever. And in this day and age – when aliens attack and robots plan a genocide and the number of mutants born everyday is on the rise… and now inhumans? People are looking for more than just a conceal and carry license to protect themselves and their loved ones.”

She sits with that for a long moment before shaking off his hand and sitting upright. “So he’s taking Sublime’s plans for creating the Third Species and he’s going to try to make it a reality. And then he’s going to sell it,” she states, no question in her words.

Calvin nods. “He’s already got a team of four scientists working on it. Two geneticists, including Scofield. And two bioengineers. The plan is to attack the problem from both sides.”

“Because Sublime believed that tissue transplantation would cause the genesis of mutant powers in the host,” she extrapolates.

“And there might be some validity to that,” he continues. “At least that’s what the bioengineers are saying.”

“But really, the best option would be gene therapy.”

“Which Sublime was unaware of in his day,” he supplies. “So Lobe’s thinking that between the two disciplines he can accomplish what that other lunatic couldn’t.”

Her features darken and her hands wrap so tightly around the mug in front of her that her fingers go white. “Where is he getting the… materials?”

Cal breathes out slowly. “I’ve brought him a few black market items. Ones I’ve managed to acquire through old contacts.”

She closes her eyes and tries to fight off the sudden swell of nausea. “Because you’re in acquisitions.”

“Everything’s still just getting started,” he assures her. “They’re only running preliminary tests… or something. I know they aren’t into any trials yet.” He pauses and a shadow flits across his face. “It’s only a matter of time before they start looking for candidates.” She looks up at him and he hesitates before saying, “For harvesting.”

Tessa nods her head, the movement growing more insistent as she thinks about what’s been said. And what needs to be done. “So we have to shut him down,” she mumbles, mostly to herself. “We have to make sure it doesn’t get that far.”

He reaches across the table and takes hold of her wrist. With his other hand, he wrestles the coffee mug from her grip and then holds tightly to both of her hands. “I promise you I won’t ever participate in anything like… that.” With a serious look and a more intense squeeze, he says, “But I don’t know that you or anyone else can stop this train.”

She pulls away harshly, her eyes suddenly shooting around the café cagily. “How can you say that?”

“It’s the times we’re living in, sweetheart. Look around you.”

“So I should just stand by and do nothing? Just let some… some human use my people for profit?”

He laughs bitterly. “Your people? Give me a fucking break.” He gives her a disgusted look. “When was the last time you even talked to your people? To your family?”

“That’s not…” she starts, losing the words to defend herself almost immediately.

“You’ve been hiding and denying who you are for so long…” He scoffs loudly. “At this point, I’m more in touch with mutants than you are.”

“God help them, then,” she issues out angrily.

“Look, you want to finally stop pretending you’re something you’re not, great. Go for it. I, for one, think the world could use Supernova right about now.” She visibly flinches when he uses the name. Supernova. An alias she hasn’t heard nor spoken aloud in years. “But I’m telling you, for your sake, stay away from Lobe.”

She leans across the table, positioning herself mere inches from him. “I won’t let this go,” she says. “I will bring him down. So I’m telling you, for your sake, stay out of my way.” And she rises and storms out of the café.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15/05/2021 (Coldplay, J. Cole, Trippie Redd & Playboi Carti)

I’m awful at predicting this chart, I really am, but most of that is probably down to how I only make vague predictions at the end of each episode without even considering most releases that’ll actually chart. Let’s just say I didn’t expect nine new arrivals this week. At the top, however, little has changed as the absolutely huge “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne with a remix featuring whoever the hell is spending its second week at #1. The rest of the chart, however, gets a bit more interesting. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

The biggest story to effect the chart this week is of course 2021’s BRIT Awards happening this Tuesday, which I’m sure boosted a lot of songs during the mid-week. I also actually covered the awards show on that day if you’re curious, with some of my observations, predictions and opinions. We can very clear see – or hear, for that matter – the impact of the BRIT Awards in this week’s chart, as it did cause a lot of gains and new arrivals that shook up the chart right in the middle of the tracking week. Firstly, we do have some drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, only one of them, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy, being all that important given it was a top five hit but we do have a handful that lasted five or more weeks or peaked in the top 40, like “Medicine” by James Arthur flopping embarrassingly, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith dropping out to prepare for the rebound next week given her album release and “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake.

Speaking of Drake, he also provides the singular returning entry as “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is proving to be the actual hit from that three-pack from March, coming back to #65. Scaling down the chart, we also have some notable losses, songs that dropped at least five spots on this week’s chart. Those that fell include “Your Power” by Billie Eilish dropping harshly to #15 off of the debut, as well as “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #18, “Confetti” by Little Mix to #21 off of the return (with Saweetie, the artist quite literally solely the reason it’s had this second wind, still bizarrely left without a credit by the UK Singles Chart), “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #27, “Titanium” by Dave at #31, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted (yes, THEY’RE credited) at #36, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #42, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #44, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #51, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #55, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #56, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #59, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #67, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae at #69, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #70, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber getting ACR’d at #71, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #73 and finally, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #75.

Filling up the room for those losses, however, are the gains, always a tad more interesting, as the songs that rose at least five spots on this week’s chart – or make their first appearance in the top 40, 20 or 10 – are usually having the BRITs to thank to some capacity. The climbers include “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” giving Noizu his first top 40 hit at #31 (and I’ll admit, the song is growing on me), Griff also getting her first with “Black Hole” at #35 thanks to her win and performance at the BRITs, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI rebounding to #13 thanks to that once-again uncredited remix with Miley Cyrus and finally, entering the top 10 for the first time is “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk at #9, getting the boost from a perfect trifecta of gains: Rag’n’Bone Man released his album on Friday then on Tuesday had the closing performance of this song at the BRIT Awards with additional vocals from the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir, who are also now appearing on a new release of the song the day after, prompting a whole lot of sales, of which I assume and hope are going to charity. It’s Rag’n’Bone Man’s third top 10 hit, P!nk’s 21st(!) and interestingly enough, the NHS choir’s second top 10 hit as they had the Christmas #1 back in 2015. With all of that out of the way, I suppose it’s time to get to our varied array of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Dick” – Starboi3 featuring Doja Cat

Produced by Nius and SoFLY

This week is kind of a weird week if that wasn’t immediately obvious as our new arrivals are kind of all over the place, starting with... well, I think I could say less about the song than the title does. Starboi3 is this SoundCloud rapper from New Jersey who made a song with Doja back in 2019 – I assume she was more accessible for features back then –and it didn’t blow up at all, really, giving Starboi3 some additional traction but not until 2020, in which Doja Cat got her #1 hit and TikTok picked up this explicit single as a new sound. Sadly – or thankfully – the song was never released officially onto streaming until very recently, meaning, surely, the hype’s over by now? The answer to that is no, as it’s climbing up charts in both the UK and the Bubbling Under in the US... so there’s got to be something good about this song, right? Well, no. Not at all. Of course, that is subjective, but I do question your sanity if you’re honestly enjoying this unlikeable nobody shout “Dick!” over a basic, no-melody trap instrumental with heavy 808s not too dissimilar to drill, before going into a beyond basic chorus and verse about, well, you can guess, with rhymes sounding either like an awful freestyle or a kid with a rhyming dictionary. “She not with him tonight, she not with Jim tonight”? Of course, that’s in the post-chorus because if there’s one thing this song needs, it’s a freaking post-chorus. I also don’t think Starboi3 realises that making her scream for her parents is quite the opposite of sexy – or even raunchy and mindless, as it’s actually just creepy and terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, Doja Cat is here and not even she can add a less basic flow with a verse that just ends up going in one ear and out the other, even if I do like the seductive backing vocals that at least try to make this not a slow, joyless slog. However, I do NOT like the Pickle Rick reference. To be fair, this was 2019, but also to be fair, never reference that again, I am begging you. This is a disaster on all fronts and probably one of the worst tracks I’ve had to review in this series. Good start!

#64 – “Freaks” – Surf Curse

Produced by Surf Curse

This new song is actually even older, being released initially as a deep cut from this Nevada duo’s 2013 album. As you’ll probably tell, this is charting off of people streaming after hearing the song on TikTok and, I mean, at least the song’s actually good this time, careening off of a clearly surf-inspired clean riff surrounded by some basic drumming and a good bassline. It’s not great as it does feel increasingly basic as I said, almost like one of those local bands that don’t get much national attention or traction but do play some gigs and get some love at those places, to the point where it’s kind of big if they play shows outside of their region... which makes sense because that is exactly what they are. This is just some band from Reno but here it is charting on the UK Singles Chart and while it’s here, I should say whilst there’s not much here to discuss given how minimal it is, Nick Rattigan’s vocals are fittingly desperate for the theme of social alienation and particularly rejection as it’s pretty obvious he’s aiming venom at himself for a bad break-up, although given the sound and tone of the song, probably his first, with that double meaning of the mantra in the outro, “I won’t wake up this time”, potentially being a crushing line for someone in similar circumstances. That’s not me, exactly, so this doesn’t hit, but I’m glad that Machine Gun Kelly song from last week got replaced with some actually decent alternative rock on the chart. I hope this does well.

#60 – “One Day” – Lovejoy

Produced by Cameron Nesbitt

“One Day” is the biggest track from new English rock band Lovejoy’s debut EP, Are You Alright?, and whilst I was planning on not mentioning the fact that the band is fronted by Minecraft YouTuber Wilbur Soot, that is the only reason it’s charting – and he’s charted with “Your New Boyfriend” a couple months back, a song that I actually kind of liked. It’s also immediately obvious in the writing that this comes from an Internet personality, with some not-so-well-woven detail and increasingly gratuitous self-awareness that eventually cycles back and ends up as seeming like they have none at all... okay, like most indie bands but that’s beside the point. This happens to be Wilbur’s least favourite song on the release – one that I haven’t listened to because even if I’m not too old for mindless pop music, Minecraft YouTuber alt-rock may be where I draw the line – and I can completely understand the distaste for this given that it starts with the line, “Why’d you have to kill my cat?” I also have some qualms with the song sonically as it may be the most derivative rock single I’ve heard on this series, given how obviously it rips from indie rock bands of the 2000s, with an oddly clean mix that doesn’t exactly fit the obvious stream-of-consciousness lyrics and Wilbur’s erratic delivery. Also, there’s a whole lot of trumpet on this song, which I guess is a surprise, but that doesn’t make up for a drummer who can clearly play very well but has to chaotically play over a song with practically no groove. I do like that second chorus in how it builds up to a somewhat anti-climactic guitar solo but as a full song I do not really get the appeal of this that I don’t get out of other post-punk revival bands from decades back who are still pumping out music. This isn’t bad – I swear, don’t dox me – but I just want something more compelling from this. I will always be glad regardless of the quality that we have more rock on the chart, though, even if this’ll be gone by next week.

#57 – “It’s a sin” – Years & Years and Elton John

Produced by Stuart Price and the Pet Shop Boys

One of my favourite performance from the BRIT Awards this year was Olly Alexander of Years & Years sharing the stage with the iconic Elton John to cover Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” which had renewed interest from last year as it was the namesake for a hit TV series about HIV/AIDS, for which this fittingly played a role and has kind of been recontextualised as a gay anthem, which makes complete sense if you look at its lyrics about the Church telling Neil Tennant “how to be”. It’s also one of the Pet Shop Boys’ most camp and theatrical songs, so giving it to Years & Years and Elton John to cover for the BRIT Awards make all too much sense. No, they’re not able to live up to the theatricality of the original, especially if Alexander’s vocals are going to be this clearly manipulated at points, but with Elton John’s piano laying a perfect foundation for the rising intensity of the track, we do get a sense of that original melodrama, with the synth-work and house groove coming in before Elton John’s voice, sounding smokier and wiser with age, and in my opinion, more compelling as a vocalist, especially if they’re both going to sell this song with the most convicted of deliveries. I don’t think a cover could ever live up to that original iconic track but if anyone’s going to get close, it’s Elton John. Expect this to rise next week.

#50 – “Never Left” – Lil Tecca

Produced by ThankYouWill, Taz Taylor and Cxdy

I’ll always be annoyed that Lil Tecca blew up as a rapper instead of a producer, as I don’t think this guy has any likeability or charisma about his flow, cadence or delivery, and that’s only after you get over how dry and whiny his voice can get. However, he can make some great and incredibly infectious beats for other rappers, including a song I see becoming a hit soon in SoFaygo’s “Knock Knock”, which I will bet on at least making the Billboard Hot 100 if not the UK Singles Chart. It’s unbelievably catchy. With that said, Tecca is here in the form of some SoundCloud raps over a boring synth pluck and vaguely tropical Internet Money trap beat, sounding and flowing way too much like Gunna for his own benefit, or Gunna’s benefit, if we’re honest, as this shows how easily he can be replaced. I usually don’t write off this type of rap and will absolutely defend it, but this song isn’t even catchy or unique. I mean, I don’t like “Ransom” either but at least it was kind of fun and I still know the lines in the chorus a couple years later. I’ll forget all about this by next week if it doesn’t stick around. At least he shouts out Chief Keef. God, I hope he charts sometime, that’d be funny.

#45 – “All I Know So Far” – P!nk

Produced by Greg Kurstin

So, P!nk is back but not with a studio album, rather an upcoming live album in which the two new, original songs are about or featuring her daughter. This is the second single from said album and is probably coasting off her appearance at the BRITs in terms of a relatively high chart debut. I’ve never been that big a fan of P!nk but she has her classics, none of which are in the past 15 years but that’s beside the point. This single in particular is an acoustic ballad dedicated to her daughter in which P!nk provides a rapid intensity alongside pretty great-sounding acoustic guitars, pounding drums and strings that sells the content about empowering yourself, with some nice lyrical detail about always being yourself, basically, which would come off as cliché and preachy if it weren’t for some oddly specific lyrics in those verses and the chorus that basically just tell her daughter that despite the fact the world will constantly try to crack down on her and everything she does much like life does to anyone but especially women, she should stand up for herself and what she believes in. However, none of that cuts deep when she’s being raised by a millionaire, huh? There’s little Hell to be put through when you’re born with a silver spoon, huh, Willow? Regardless, this isn’t a bad pop song and its content isn’t as misguided as it is just sang by the wrong singer, although I’d find it hard to get a singer with as much rasp and wisdom in the mainstream to sell this as convincingly as P!nk does – vocally, not lyrically. This is a couple steps above that last single, “Cover Me in Sunshine” at least, which was just insidious. Next.

#32 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by Loesoe

Okay, so all of our last three new arrivals are in the top 40 and we start with... o-okay, well, it’s 2021, anything can and will chart and I should know this by now, but it’s still surprising to see a song by these two guys debut so high, especially since Whole Lotta Red produced absolutely no charting hits in the UK outside of “@ MEH”, which doesn’t really count. This is Trippie’s highest-charting song ever in the UK that isn’t fronted by KSI, so I guess streaming must have been that good – also, the charts are still weak. For what it’s worth, I do like both Trippie and Carti to their respective extents, and I am aware that this is only as big as it was because of the hype from the leak, which also featured Mario Judah, and that in itself was a big song but it took years for Carti’s feature to be cleared by the label, as is infamously true for much of Carti’s work and even his last official collaboration with Trippie that was actually deleted after release. I’m still hoping on an official release for his verse on Yung Lean’s “Yayo”, but whilst we have this instead, I might as well talk about it and... Well, let me explain to you what I see as the appeal of these two rappers. That appeal is, mostly, that they don’t rap even though they both very much can. Trippie yells, moans, growls, screams and spends most of his work singing in his typical raspy, venomous voice, whilst Playboi Cart spits and coughs his way through substance-less ad-libs to the point where any actual wordplay or lyrical detail gets you excited for that brief moment. In this song, Trippie and Carti don’t eschew the typical role of a rapper and both just... rap normally, which would not be a complaint if they weren’t so bland in that role, which is the whole point of their unique, phlegm-filled deliveries in the first place. As a result, this song just ends up feeling empty, even if this awfully-mixed, bass-boosted beat with some lovely distorted video-game synths and hardly audible trap skitters does go incredibly hard. Don’t get me wrong: this is still catchy and Trippie flows very well over a beat that sounds made for him and Carti. Hell, Carti has grown on me so much recently that my fondness for this might just be me eating anything he releases up. With that said, he’s the worst part of the song as his baby-voice style emphasises how lacking this song is in just anything. I do like the wordplay at the tail-end of the verse as, yes, that happens, perhaps not as iconic as some of his other oddly profound or clever lines on his last record but at least it’s something. At least this is some interesting American trap, unlike...

#25 – “i n t e r l u d e” – J. Cole

Produced by J. Cole, Tommy Parker and T-Minus

The pandemic has affected the music industry to the point where big-name rappers release album interludes as lead singles. Said album has songs shorter than this interlude, with most of its dull filler feeling like additional interludes, quite unbefitting for such a big and hyped-up album from Cole which frankly is just another boring addition to an already consistently dull catalogue. I’m just not interested in what Cole has to say because he’s never been likeable and I feel like there’s better rappers that bridge the gap between old and new like how Cole sees himself as doing, the “MIDDLE CHILD”, perhaps, like, you know, Drake? If we want to go for a more direct comparison from lesser-known rappers, the direct comparison I use for this new record is Aminé’s latest, also made up of a variation of trap bangers featuring massive, charting names versus introspective, conscious lyrics, yet Aminé is an interesting character with quotable lyrics that aren’t embarrassing, knows how to write an actual hook and whilst he also brings on both classic and modern features, he’s never out-done by them, creating an actual bridge rather than just some guy who thinks he can write his own role in the industry and culture without his own music backing his case. Unfortunately for me, it works – every freaking time – largely because of his continually loyal fanbase but also a general public interest in the guy that I do not understand, especially when more than a decade into his career, he’s still pushing out mediocre projects. He cuts his album’s length by a ton and still ends up with a bloated record. I barely need to talk about the track itself, right? Even if it has as much structure and effort put into it as his normal songs do, it’s labelled quite literally as an interlude. Sigh, well, in this interlude, Jermaine raps over a drowned-out soul sample and admittedly, sticks to the topic of reminiscing on where he came from, the violence in Fayetteville, a similar violence of which was what killed Nipsey Hussle, who he compares amongst Pimp C and Jesus as they all died at 33. Cole himself is 36 so I guess for once he doesn’t think he’s Jesus. It took him a while to realise.

#12 – “Higher Power” – Coldplay

Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter and Bill Rahko

I assumed this would debut at #3 until the BRIT Awards performance gave it a boost to debut at the top but I guess everyone else had the same opinion of that awful opening performance as I did, because here it is at #12. Well, that doesn’t matter, right? Coldplay’s last album similarly underperformed... but at least that time, they had a genuinely ambitious album for once in their careers with some genuine experimentation and themes I did not expect to come out of Coldplay. It was a better album but not an accessible one, with its only pop single being a bittersweet anti-war anthem which trivialises bombing in the Middle East to onomatopoeia. It’s a great song but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s no surprise that their next lead single is a soulless synth-pop track produced by Max Martin. Admittedly, the synth tone in the intro is kind of unique in all its nasal 80s nostalgia, but, man, I thought we moved past just rehashing for a hit, Coldplay. This is pretty obviously just a crap attempt at being “Blinding Lights” which trades in its machine-gun loco-motive drum pattern for one that is a lot more stiff, and its iconic, memorable lyrics for a forgettable set of love-struck laziness. Oh, yeah, and Chris Martin is far from the Weeknd both in the studio and live at the BRIT Awards – seriously, dude sounded half-alive. This isn’t offensive, just a bore that is clearly a desperate label move ready for when they can tour again, and if their last record proved anything it was that Coldplay seemed like they were finally above that.

Conclusion

Well, that’s our week – again, a questionable one at best and kind of a bad one at worst. Either way, this is a strange array of songs and I do like how the UK Singles Chart subverts everything you’d expect of it so often that chaos becomes the trend, even if not all of it is any good. I guess Best of the Week goes to “Freaks” by Surf Curse, with an Honourable Mention to Elton John’s cover of “It’s a sin” with Years & Years. Surprisingly enough, J. Cole actually doesn’t get Worst of the Week as the album gets a lot worse than that interlude, so he gets a Dishonourable Mention alongside Starboi3’s “Dick” being crowned Worst of the Week, and honestly probably Worst of the Year so far, not that I’m keeping track of that. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What’s coming next week? More J. Cole, Olivia Rodrigo’s newest single and probably – and hopefully – some album tracks from Jorja Smith and Nicki Minaj. For now, though, thanks for reading. It’s a big week next week, and I’ll see you then!

[escapingreality1992]

The Guardian Angel Program

What happened between Civil War and Infinity War with Team Captain America and Natasha Romanoff? This is my take on it. A program was created to shelter superheroes. Angel Welsh is one of the many who have a safe house to do so. She’s what the program calls a Guardian Angel, though she’s not a traditional angel. She comes from a legacy of angels and agrees to house a few members of team Captain America. She’s taken care of Natasha before, so she has no problem. As time goes on, Steve and Angel grow closer and fall in love.

A/N: For the purpose of this story, I’ve gone a little off canon and have Steve Rogers returning as his younger self rather than the old man Steve we see in Endgame. I wanted them to continue to go on living with each other. I still kept both Natasha and Tony’s deaths in this, though.

           An angel’s job is to protect people from dangers they may face. Sometimes it’s their duty to hide them from their foes. When someone needs to lay low, they can provide shelter from those looking for them. In ancient times, they weren’t made for love. They were made to fight to provide assistance when needed. To strike down enemies bent on causing corruption in the world. Sometimes to deliver important messages from up above. No feelings involved.

           Modern times were different nowadays. A program was created to provide protection for innocents and superheroes. Though, not all of the agents in the program were actual angels. Some of the were, warriors created from legend. Being an angel meant something else entirely. To protect, of course. To hide people, sure; now you could fall in love with your soulmate, legendary warriors included in the mix.

           When superheroes needed to lay low for a while, we were there to provide a kind of safe house – or houses – to shelter them from whoever they were hiding from. The government, enemies, old lovers, etc. To become an angel – warrior or guardian – there were particular skills you needed to possess or have done to qualify for the job. Skills like weapon use, training in hand-to-hand combat, powers that could be useful to protect. Some had to have protected innocents in the past. Others having healing powers to heal enhanced superheroes or beings.

           Another option could be you were born into a line of angels. Trained to become one yourself. The leaders were harsher on the legacies. They treated them much like the warriors from above. Some failed, some passed. That’s how it was. I had been lucky enough to be born into one such family, lucky enough to pass their tests. I’d had my fair share of heroes to look after, both during my childhood and the beginning of my adult life. I came equipped with all knowledge of weapon use, including swords, – both long and short, two handed and one handed – daggers, as well as some modern weapons; for instance, guns and tech similar to Tony Stark’s creations or alien tech in case there came a time they needed to be used.

           I also possessed minor healing abilities, limited to deeper wounds rather than shallow cuts, bruises and broken bones. Additionally, I wasn’t what you called a traditional angel. The irony behind this is my family had the good sense to name me Angel. I know, I know. A guardian angel named Angel, who was not in fact a halo-wearing, white robe, right hand of God angel. I am, in fact a good, old-fashioned, young mortal; one of the chosen to look after those with super abilities.

           We’re told from the beginning not to pick favorites. You know, in case they die – under your watch or not. Yes, it can happen, nothing you can do about it if it does. They don’t punish you if it does, especially if the hero in question has a hand in a necessary battle. Too bad, I already had one favorite. No one needed to know, a secret I kept to myself. Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. Black Widow happened to be the one favorite I kept in my records. She had stayed multiple times, most being just to visit instead of hiding. It also didn’t help matters that we had become good friends; best friends in fact. Like Clint, who she would sometimes bring along.

           Though, he only came a few times before he started a family of his own. Nat still came of her own accord when she needed it or if she wanted a long-time vacation. Who could blame her? I did have the safe house located at the beach in Oak Island, North Carolina. Speaking of the safe house, I should tell you each house comes warded and shielded against those who don’t require it or hosted it. My particular one had plenty of rooms; ten for bigger parties.

           Business had been quiet for a while, no one needing a hideout. Nat didn’t visit for fun, her schedule a bit busy for one at the moment. Until I got a call from a friend of hers. The same call which would bring me face to face with the love of my life.

  One Month after the Events of Civil War

 Steve’s POV            “Here. Give this number a call,” Natasha said. She tossed me a business card, which hit me square in the chest, falling to the floor. I bent to pick it up and inspected it.

           “Angel Welsh. Guardian Angel, Protector of Heroes. Nat, what the hell is this? A new recruit. How does it help with my problem?” I asked. She rolled her eyes in answer.

           “I know you’re worried about hiding away from Ross. You need a place to lay low for a while. So, do I, though it might only be a few weeks before I want to return to Russia. She runs a safe house in Oak Island. I’ve used it several times. There’s no one like her. She’s one of the best I’ve encountered when it comes to hideouts,”

           “I don’t know. Is she an actual angel? What if she plans on striking us down?” I asked.

           “She’s human. She’s not going to hurt us. Look, the house is warded and shielded from people who are trying to find heroes. We can stay for as long as we want. There’s plenty of room,” She continued. I glanced down at the card, trying to come to a decision.

           “Steve. Angel can help us. Besides, when do we ever get to go on vacation. It’s at the beach of all places. We go south, breathe in the salt air. Try to relax. Until we can come out of hiding or if we need to,” Nat said. I took a deep breath. She managed to persuade me in making my choice. I knew she was right and pulled out my phone to dial.

  Angel’s POV

           My phone rand and I answered it, expecting another boring assignment.

           “Guardian Angel Welsh speaking. How can I help you?”

           “Hello,” a male voice spoke. He went silent for a while, I wondered if he hung up. Then his voice came back over the speaker. “My name is Steve Rogers. A few others and I need a place to lay low for a while,” he continued. Contain your excitement. Be professional, I thought. This was Captain America and he was planning on staying with me. A legend with a legacy.

           “How many others? When you be arriving?” I asked.

           “Uh, five. That’s including me. I’m not sure. Give us three days,” Steve said.

           “Names. I’ve got yours, but who else is in your company?” I said. I needed to record everything and prepare for the others he was bringing along.

           “Wanda Maximoff,” Ah, the woman who accidentally caused casualties in Lagos. “Sam Wilson,” Falcon. Hmm, sounds like they’re running from the Accords. “Vision, Natasha-,” The other name I didn’t recognize but when he said Natasha, I knew my best friend would be here as well.

           “Romanoff? You’re bring other heroes with you? I didn’t realize you were friends with Nat,” I interrupted. A pause. Did I scare him off? “She gave me this number. Said you were the best she’s come in contact with,”

           “It must be urgent if she gave you my personal number rather than the programs. There are certain protocols you’re supposed to go through, and they assign you based on priority or urgency. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. If you can, get here earlier than you intend. Welcome to the Guardian Angel Program, Mr. Rogers,” I said. I ended the call and prepared everything needed for this assignment.

   Two Days Later (They took my advice)

             The buzz of the intercom echoed in the house alerting me to their arrival. At least, he had the sense to come early than he intended, I thought. I opened the door and Natasha was the first to greet me. She threw her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight. She stepped back, allowing the rest of the company to come inside, luggage carried behind them.

           “Angel! Long time, no see. How have you been?”

           “Bored. I’ve been less busy than usual. Everyone has. No assignments were sent out for a few weeks. Take your regular room. I’m going to give the rest the tour,” I told her. She flitted off and I turned my attention to the rest of them. Two guys, one woman, and…I cocked my head examining the other…man.

           “That’s Vision. He’s…well, I guess you can say he’s a robot. A sort of artificial intelligence created by…” the blonde guy explained.

           “Tony Stark. Must have been a terrible break-up,” I said.

           “How-,”

           “Natasha tells me everything, much like Clint tells her things. Come along. I’ll show you the house and assigned rooms. Set your things down by the couch. You can take them up later,” I cut him off once more.

           “Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves?” the other guy said.

           “You introduced me to Vision already. Wanda is the only other woman included on the phone, so she’s easy. You’re Sam Wilson, also known as Falcon. Which leaves you,” I gestured to the blonde man. “You must be Steve Rogers. I also do my research. I have to be able to recognize the heroes or people that come under my protection. Follow me,” I answered. They shared a look, unsure whether or not to trust me.

           “I don’t bite. Not much anyway. You’re safe here. The people after you won’t find you. I promise. Try to relax,” I said. To show I meant no harm, I linked my arm through Wanda’s and walked her to the kitchen and began the tour of the house.

           “Natasha has the best room in the house. Since she’s a frequent visitor, she has seniority over it when she’s here. If you want to visit on your own, it’ll go to one of you. Wanda, I’ve given you the second best, right next to hers. It has a view of the ocean and a balcony. Sam, Vision, you’re upstairs on the third floor. Though, you don’t have a view of the ocean up there. Steve, your room is across from mine,” I said. I went to the liberty of showing them their room, delight showing on their faces.

           “Wait, if this is your home, why don’t you have the best room?” Sam asked me.

           “Ah, because, my room gives me access to both the pool and the beach. I can open the sliding glass door next to my bed and walk out on the deck to find the stairs for both,” I explained. To prove my point, I opened the back door on the second floor and showed the exact door to my room.

           “Now, on to the outside. This is the walkway to the beach and those stairs lead to the pool. Car port is next to the pool and there are two outdoor showers in case you decide you would rather clean up in the salt air. It’s quite refreshing if you ask me,”

           “That’s all there is. Feel free to unpack and do what you want. Oh, one more thing. Nat and I will be going out to the store to grab supplies. If there is anything you need or would like to request, please provide us a list and leave it on the kitchen counter downstairs. Also, the rec room is on the bottom floor, down the hallway and the second door on the left. It has a movie theater and a billiards table that doubles as a card table,” I said. Everyone dispersed, except for Steve.

           “Thank you for helping us. I appreciate it Miss Welsh,” he said.

           “Call me Angel. It’s no problem. It is my job after all. Do me a favor and try not to get too attached. You will have to leave here at some point,” I told him.

           “I can assure you I won’t, but thanks for the warning,” he said.

  One Month Later

Steve’s POV

           When we first arrived at Angel’s safe house, I’d been nervous to say the least. Nervous about being found here and nervous something bad would happen if we were. On the arrival, I realized I was also nervous around Angel. She was gorgeous; Long, dark brown hair with light brown ends and the prettiest gold-green eyes I had ever seen before. If the light hit them just right, they almost looked like a rainbow shining out at us. I shut out my feelings right then, focusing on trying to relax in a new place.

           After two weeks, the tension eased a little. We were still hidden, and no trouble came for us. There were a couple of movie nights and card nights, which had us all becoming closer as friends. Natasha had left a week after, receiving a call about the Black Widow program rebooting and she wanted to put an end to it. She flew back to Russia and I wondered if I would be seeing her again. Wanda and Vision had also requested permission to leave, heading to Scotland to spend more time together. Alone.

           Though, they thought we didn’t notice, they were finally together as a couple. They wanted to pursue it more and they felt they couldn’t do that if we were around. This left Sam and I alone with Angel. We managed to have fun between the three of us going to the beach or going out to get food.

           I worried we would be recognized going out, but Angel assured us we would be fine. No one in the town knew about us. The names maybe, but I guess they didn’t pay too much attention to our appearances to put the name to the face.

           There were times when Angel and I spent nights alone together. Movie nights when Sam didn’t want to join, pool days when Sam wanted to go to the beach. I had to admit, she relaxed me when I didn’t think it possible. The tension would release from my muscles when she was around, and it wasn’t because she knew how to massage us to ease that tension. It was when she started up a deep conversation between Sam and me that I started to see her more than a friend. I tried to push back my feelings, knowing the inevitable move would come and I wouldn’t be able to see her anymore. The more I pushed them back, the more they grew, and I came to the realization I was now in trouble of falling for her.

           We were now a month in, and I felt more relaxed than I had in a couple years. I chose today to lounge by the pool. I made a few laps until I decided to lay out in the sun for a while. All the noise drowned out, my body going limp as I pushed away all thoughts of work, of battles; stress melted away piece by piece. I breathed deep, the salt air filling my nostrils and providing me with more calmness. So much so that I didn’t hear anyone approach me.

           “Steve? Do you want some lunch?” a voice asked. Angel’s voice. She startled me and the second her hand came into contact with my shoulder, I opened my eyes and flipped her, pinning her body against my chair. In doing this, I had allowed our bodies to be pressed close, our lips a breath apart; our chests heaving as the chemistry heated up between us.

           “I guess this teaches me not to sneak up on people,” she stated. Her voice rasped, sparking heat which coursed throughout my entire body.

           “Sorry. I…Let me get off of you,” I told her. I was reluctant to move but did anyway allowing her to sit up. The sparkle of her gold-green eyes met mine; I fought the urge to push her back down and kiss her. Fought the same urge to remove out clothes and make love to her by the pool.

           “You looked pretty relaxed. Careful, I don’t want you falling in love with me,” She said. Too late. I might be on my way there, I thought.

           “Don’t worry. That won’t happen,” I lied. I’d been harboring my crush for the past two weeks. I wouldn’t reveal my feelings until the right moment.

           “Oh. Good. Uh…Did you want lunch? I made sandwiches for the beach. I thought I’d come by and see if you wanted some. There’s also a few beers in the cooler if you want one,” she said. Her teasing smile had faltered making me wonder if she was secretly harboring a crush on me as well.

           “Sure. Thanks, Angel,” She handed me a couple bags of turkey and cheese sandwiches and two beers before she left towards the beach. Damn it, Steve. You should have kissed her, I thought.

  Four Months Later

Angel’s POV            Sam was the next to leave, Steve being the only one left at the safe house. There was one week, he left to check up on his best friend; Bucky Barnes. Steve had told me all about him; how they were childhood friends and how they were there for each other. I knew the name, the assassin responsible for over a dozen deaths. I also suspected he had been brainwashed, making Bucky a victim of HYDRA’s plans to take over the country. I also knew he was being rehabilitated in order to not be triggered anymore.

           This did nothing for my feelings for Steve. What’s that familiar phrase? Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I had been unusually happy when he had returned from Wakanda and cursed myself for crushing on my assignment. Sure, you couldn’t get in trouble for it, but I hadn’t wanted to mix my work life with my personal life. Friends were one thing, but a romantic relationship was another. Which only made the next time I ran into Steve a little more awkward than it should have been.

           “Hey, Steve? Want to make a trip to the store? We could grab pizza…” I walked in his room to find him shirtless, the signs of a beard coming in. The sight stopped me dead in my tracks. “…on the way back,” I finished. I felt my cheeks heat up, a sign I was blushing. It was hard not to stare; harder not to blush deeper. He met my eyes, but not before they raked over my body. My throat went dry, my core pooling from the action.

           “Sure. I’ll put on a shirt and we’ll go. Want to watch a movie tonight?” he answered. I’d rather take you on that bed right this instant. Ride you until dawn, I thought.

           “That sounds perfect. Maybe, we can tick off one from your list,” is what came out.

           “Perhaps. Let’s go,” We picked up the necessary supplies and decided to split a margherita pizza while starting a Star Wars marathon. I tried not to steal glances at him. Really tried not to. My eyes kept drifting though. Next came the scenarios and boy, were they naughty.

           “If you keep staring at me like that, I’m going to have to strip you naked and play with you on this couch,” he said. Damn, he caught me.

           “I can’t help it. You gave me quite a sight this afternoon,” I stated. He shut off the movie – we were on Empire Strikes Back – and turned to face me. He grabbed my hands and pulled them under his shirt to touch him.

           “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me and I’ll stop,” he said. He dragged my hands over his stomach to his chest and back down again, until they rested at the waistband of his sweats.

           “I can’t tell you that. I would be lying to you. I want you. I need you so much it hurts,” I told him. The next moment his lips were on mine, his body pushing me back on the couch. We practically ripped each other’s clothes off, out movements rushed and rough. Fully naked, he trailed kisses down my body, his beard scratching me between my thighs. His tongue found my core, and I moaned, tugging his hair. He rubbed my clit before pushing them inside me, coaxing me to my first orgasm.

           He wasted no time, coming back up to kiss me as he sheathed his cock inside my pussy. He thrust hard and fast, my nails digging into his skin. He came, followed by my second orgasm, then he flipped us; Steve laid on his back, allowing me to ride him. We didn’t stop until exhaustion took over and I collapsed on his chest, his cock still inside me.

           “I want you to be mine, but I think we should keep this quiet. To be safe and not used to an enemy’s advantage,” he said.

           “Agreed,” I told him.

 2018 – The Beginning of Infinity War

Steve’s POV

           We kept our relationship a secret until we couldn’t anymore. Everyone caught on to it, exposing our love life. Around that point, we didn’t want it to be quiet any longer. We were ready to show the world the love we had for each other. Things were going great. We checked in on everyone. Natasha and Sam came to visit; Wanda and Vision stayed in Scotland becoming closer. Angel came to visit Bucky with me in Wakanda.

           I had made plans to propose to her. I had the ring, the plan to get her alone to do it. It would be on the beach and I had a beautiful speech worked out. It would be perfect. It was meant to be today. Until the world collapsed. There was a phone call; Wanda and Vision were in trouble and Natasha, Sam and I had to go rescue them. Another one followed. Bruce Banner; the world is in trouble. Thanos is coming. We weren’t ready. We never were. An Avenger’s job is to protect innocents. We thought we could win. How wrong we were.

   Angel’s POV

           Love hit Steve and me hard. We got caught up in it. It made us blind to potential dangers. We wanted to explore a future together. We thought we could. We had been wrong. Everything happened so fast. Steve had come in looking nervous about something. I had a suspicion he may have wanted to propose. In a different way altogether. Then his phone rang. His expression changed; Nervous, shock, worry. It darkened to something more serious. He hung up. It rang again. It darkened more. Danger. For the world.

           “What is it? What’s happened?” I asked. I reached out, placed a hand on his shoulder.

           “War. Thanos is coming. He means to wipe out half the planet…planets. Wanda and Vision are in trouble. I have to go,” A pause, a sigh. “I hate to do it this way. There was a plan, but I need to leave right away. I can’t without asking an important question,”

           “Steve? I…”

           “Angel, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” he proposed. Maybe it hadn’t been ideal for the both of us, how he wanted it, but we had no other option. I didn’t want to be without him.

           “Yes. I will,” I accepted. He opened the box and pulled out the ring, sliding it on my finger.

           “Go save your friends. Come back to me when you can. I love you,” I told him. We kissed. He left. They lost.

Everything.

   The Aftermath – Five Years Later

           For five years, I provided comfort to Steve and Natasha. For five years, I watched the grief consume them. We didn’t marry. Not yet. He wanted everyone to be part of the ceremony. He was hurting. He wanted Bucky there and Wanda, Vision, Sam. Too much pain. For anyone. The saving grace had been Scott Lang. A plan formed.

           Time travel and again I was left alone until he came back. A sacrifice and Natasha had died. More grief, more pain. Still, they had to move on. Bring the rest of them back. This time I fought. Swords and all. This time we won. Another sacrifice had been made; Tony Stark. A greater heartbreak for them. A funeral had been held and Steve needed to return the stones. When he returned, he passed down his title to Sam. Then there was a small ceremony for us. Wanda, Sam, Bucky, and Clint had joined us. A moment of silence for Nat and Vision was given. We continued living. It was what they would have wanted.