#yes both of them are neurodivergent
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#yes dungeon meshi is a story about the neurodivergent experience (and many many other things)#but through that lens it is also basically autistic wishfullfillment#where people come to see and appreciate you for who you are and your specific special interest is tantamount to saving the world!#and so OF COURSE the two most obviously autistic characters are going to have people who deeply care about them#both despite and because of their autistic traits!!
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Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.
Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...
Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!
As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.
With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).
It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.
It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.
#pjo#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#tsats crit#rr crit#mark oshiro#mark oshiro crit#< ?#ask#Anonymous#long post //#i wrote out a whole response to this and them tumblr deleted it. SIGH. re-writing.#sharking Mark Oshiro: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM!!!!!#i do also want to make it clear: i have not read Mark Oshiro's other work so i have no opinion on if they are a good writer or not#and that is irrelevant. i am not judging them based on that at all. if more of the topics that they specialize in as a sensitivity reader#had actually come up/been relevant in TSATS i think it would have been nice for them to have been the co-author and stuff#but as things stand based on what actually ended up being relevant in the book i think another co-author would have been appropriate#or even just. if you keep mark oshiro as the co-author then have *other* sensitivity readers#because as things stand the only specializations that Mark Oshiro has that were relevant in TSATS were mental health and queer topics#and BOTH WERE DONE POORLY. like REALLY BAD. plus the blatant ableism and minor racism and such#i know Mark Oshiro doesnt specialize in neurodivergent/disability topics (though a sensitivity reader for anything riordanverse SHOULD)#but they *do* specialize in racism and it got through. also the fact that blatant ableism got through should also be a bad sign#and yes ''respect the right for bad queer novels to exist'' BUT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. SMALL-SCALE.#thats for like. indie publishers. it should not be used as an excuse to let an extremely famous straight/cis author write bad queer stories#i want to like Mark Oshiro really really bad. i do. i really do. but RR is not making it easy#anyways after having to rewrite this i dont have the energy to proofread it more than once please excuse any errors
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It honestly makes sense to me for Armin and Annie to have an awkward little crush on each other in their cadet days, and I think it’s because they are both kind of incapable of normal flirting.
Not of being sharp-witted or sarcastic- because they both are- but there are so many instances where someone is talking to them and they just take whatever they are saying totally literally.
Armin is so earnest in everything he says and assumes the same in other people- in a lot of conversations with Jean he misses the joke (relatable honestly). And Annie on the other hand is dead-pan and serious in everything she says, even when she is joking. So, I feel like all of their conversations occurred because most people would hear something Annie would say and be like “Oh, wow, what a bitch,” and Armin would just be like “Sure, and also another thing..” because he’s an excessive yapper who doesn’t pick up on conversational subtext sometimes.
And it becomes an unstoppable force (Armin) meets an immovable object (Annie) and eventually she just lets her guard down and keeps talking to him.
As full of tension as it is, I always think about in Stohess when they are walking with Eren and Mikasa and Annie is poking holes in his plan and straight up calling it stupid and Armin just backs it up with more reasoning without even getting offended or flustered and this look passes between Eren and Mikasa like ‘are they flirting right now?’ Because yes, actually, they are- but in a way only the two of them ever could.
Which is why I think their conversation on the boat is so adorable because it’s the first time either of them have tried to beat around the bush in a conversation and it’s so uncomfortable for two people just used to stating verbatim whatever they’re thinking.
In short, I think the way they communicate with each other is adorable and so unique to them, and it makes sense in the end that Armin would understand Annie in a way that no one else does.
#armin artlert#annie leonhardt#armin x annie#aruannie#aruani#cadet aruani#am i sort of implying that both of them are slightly neurodivergent#yes yes i am#you don’t have to agree but like… there’s a case for it is all I’m sayin
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Both
#yes both of them#i like my own background noise#but sometimes even that is too much#but general background noise - no#busy noises#high pitch noises#noise that makes me have to project my voice to be heard - no#necessary noise - if I’m the one making it#or it is something I can tune out as *work noise* etc eventually#adhd#audhd#neurodivergent#autism#autist#actually audhd#actually adhd#actually autistic#ocd#living with adhd#living with autism#neurodivergent community#adhd community#adhd stuff#adhd struggles#adult adhd#autistic things
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Idek what to say anymore if you cant be normal abt black people you genuinely need to die atp
#negative#i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate-#THERES NO SAVING SOME OF YOU PEOPLE#LIKE HOLY SHIT SOME KIDS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE GENUINELY FUCKING INSANE#yes yes restorative justice but if youre blackmailing undocumented students to pay you or youll report them i just genuinely think you’ll#mever ever ever ever have anything to contribute to society and the world would be brighter if you didnt exist godbless#I JUST THINK IF YOU EVER FEEL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON AN AFROINDIGENOUS PERSON BC THEY ???? ASKED IF YOU LOVED THEIR SHIT???#BC THEYRE NEURODIVERGENT IN A WAY YOU CANT HANDLE????? BC THEY TELL YOU THE KPOP INDUSTRY IS ANTIBLACK????? IDK MAN#I JUST DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHINGNTO CONTRIVUTE TO SOCIETY!!! I JUST THINK THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD BE THAT MUCH BRIGHTER AND SAFER IF YOU#WERENT IN IT!!!!!!!!#I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE IT SO MUCH#this university and this country and everything that made the both of them are fucking evil and i HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!#AND EVERYONE REGENT SHOULD DIE. IDGAF!!!! IDGAF!!!!! THIS INCLUDES THE STUDENT REGENTS YOURE BOTH NARCS AND CENTRISTS#AND ALEXIS DIDNT SPEND HER ENTIRE TERM PUTTING HER GODDAMN NECK OUT#FOR Y’ALL TO BE LIKE THIS AND I HATE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM#i need to get out of california. i just cant fucking do this anymore.#and its just so fucking bleak here. and idk talking to community organizers in california and having them say that as long as you live in CA#you’ll never truly escape the UC system and that the uc will continue to touch every part of your life bc theyre just sonfucking EVIL#and shes fucking right. why tf is there a LITERAL CHECKPOINT 30 minutes from my house now#ITS BC KF THESE MFS AND I HATE THEM#I HATE THEM !!!!! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE i just really cant i need to be back in peru#i cant be here anymore man i really cant if i dont get this out of state job im just goijg back#for at least a year#at least#i hate this school. i hate academia. let me out LET ME OUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!#v.txt#i cant imagine anything else anymore incant imagine staying i cant imagine JUST FUCKING BEING HERE its so over
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which is fine, because love is love, and you're getting gay-married, so it would be kind of ironic if love was only sometimes love.
except The King Of Demons (his is Edmund) is always late, to everything, always. which is fair, because time doesn't work in hell, and it's not like he can just catch a bus. except that you specifically asked him not to do this, didn't you, because he's always doing things like this.
He splays out his hands, the light catching on long, ivory claw tips. god, doesn't he know not to wear white to a wedding?
so many people are screaming right now.
it's not that he's the golden child. you guys had normal parents, middle-class. your mom was kind of an "almond mom," according to your fiancée, who pursed their lips when they found out about how your mom used to wrinkle her nose any time you asked for an extra snack in your lunchbox.
you close your eyes for a moment. think of your beautiful almost-spouse. ashe. their name like a bloom inside you. how the dress looks on ashe's body, their shy little smile. how they'd walked down the aisle, and you'd both been half-laughing, half-crying. your hands had trembled when you saw them. like the whole world was pouring down your throat, golden. like you were catching a moment and casting it in amber.
ashe'd been the one to help you when your parents were pushing for you to invite edmund. god, the amount of fights you'd gotten in with your parents - the same six sentiments, over and over again.
you'd been sitting on your bed, biting your lip, your fingers hovering over the little button send. ashe'd nuzzled your neck. you used to be close, and i think that's important. but you know your relationship to him the most. i'm willing to make the effort, and i love you no matter what you choose, they'd said. we don't have to if you don't want to, though, no matter what your parents say about him.
you'd thrown yourself down, supine, arm over the eyes. he's just... we are just.... you tried to phrase that-which-is-love-and-rage.
you're the normal twin. your "big thing" was only "being a lesbian." in high school, edmund started being able to make birds die by looking at them. you came home, trying to tell your parents i kissed a girl. i think i'm - and they just kind of nodded at you. edmund was eating the bible in front of them, like a goat.
on the bed, you'd held your hands out vaguely to ashe. edmund is a just always a lot.
ashe had shrugged. don't invite him then. and it was that - that they were okay with either of your decisions - that is why he even got an invite, in the end.
and now here he is, like how you wanted (?), and your hands are red, clenched hard around your bouquet. the officiant is crying. some people are on their knees, praying. some are trying to touch your brother, like he could impart a blessing.
"i made it!" he's triumphant. "i know i'm late, i'm sorry, there was - do you know anything about right-wing politicians?"
"i'm going to fucking kill him," you say, although you're not actually sure who you're talking to, or if he can be killed.
ashe is blinking, their face in a tiny oh of surprise. you take their hand, drop their hand, take their hand again. they blink at your brother. their voice is low but steady. "there's, um. is there a dark halo around him?"
you duck your head to meet their eyes. "fuck, ashe. i'm sorry. he wasn't supposed to -"
"did i miss it?" Edmund is swinging his head around far-too-wide. his 2 sets of horns leave little red mist any time they scour through the air. "I didn't miss the kiss, right?"
the town clerk is in the audience, and she's frowning. you send her an apologetic look. she shakes her head. "as we've discussed," she manages to throw her gentle voice over the din, "the wedding isn't official if someone objects. that is the legal statute. which people tend to be understanding of." she sends a dirty look to edmund, and that makes you love her. she seems completely calm, which makes sense, because she works in the town hall, and this probably isn't even her first demon-showing-up-at-a-wedding.
he somehow hears her, holds his hands up. "i'm not objecting!" the back of the event hall catches on fire. of-fucking-course. "i'm not - don't mind me, uh, please continue." edmund sends a look to the back-of-the-room fire and it whimpers and gutters out. he flashes you a winning smile, and then puts his hand to his king's-garb chest and mouths sorry! and then cartwheels his glittering talons to say go ahead.
"i think i'm going to throw up." the officiant's voice is barely a whisper.
you watch in horror as edmund tries to awkwardly slide into a waiting line of chairs. the sound of begging follows him, people on their knees at hell's king. he pats a few of them on the head, holding up his finger in a sheepish shh! while his touch leaves a bleeding rune on their skin. his hooves click, and his footprints leave ruby-bright fireroses in his wake.
he tries to sit down, but the wooden chairs are made for people and not the lord king of demons, so he has to span his furred hindquarters over two seats. he smiles again, offers you a little wave.
the room is dead silent, minus the weeping. you look back to ashe. you ruined this. you shouldn't have invited him. you spent so much money on this event, and ashe looks so fucking handsome, and you haven't even gotten to kiss them. to make it official.
ashe looks up at you, manages a little smile. "could be worse?"
you feel yourself start to smile too, but then edmund's chairs give out, and he falls directly on the floor, and with his startled yelp, everything around him bursts into the cold whip-crease of hellflame, disintegrating everything that isn't-a-person, including the flowers and the decorations and the cake and the tables. everything you saved for months to be able to afford. the venue that you both agonized over choosing. you picked this place because it was significant to both of you and was equidistant from both your parents and had a deal with the local hotel for people coming out of town. two years of planning, literally burning down around your ears.
edmund manages to stop the fire pretty much immediately, but it's too late. the officiant faints clear away. the town clerk gives you a sympathetic look and mouths see you soon and steps neatly out of the room, taking ashe's parents with her, chatting gently. an arched flower frame collapses into dust with a loud whoomp. pretty much nobody is left in the building, and you're standing at the top of the steps, at the fucking hour of your marriage, and there is nothing left but blue-cold embers, the lights blown out in favor of the eerie hellfire glow.
you sit down, hard. after a few seconds, you feel ashe sit down next to you. you put your head between your knees so you don't puke with rage, which would be somehow more humiliating than everything else happening at the moment.
"okay, it's definitely too soon," they whisper in your ear, "but i have to admit there is something that's going to be so funny later about my name being ashe and my wedding going up in flames." they wrap their hand in yours. "i can't believe we worried about candles. we should have just gone with them instead of worrying about safety. are you okay?"
you send them a look. "am i - am i okay? this absolute bitch -" you gesture with your free hand out to where edmund is trying to piece together the cinders of his chair, "ruined my fucking wedding."
your mom is standing awkwardly in what used to be the "family" row of chairs. your father is absent, of course. she makes a noise at you. "don't call your brother a bitch."
"oh my fucking god." you have to put your head between your knees again, fighting that stupid fucking rage-puke urge. your blood pressure has obviously reached "skyrocket".
"he's here, isn't he? you're not being particularly grateful," your mother says, because of course she does.
"oh my god! ohmygod. ohmygod." you feel yourself hyperventilating, and then you start laughing, and you hate the hyena hysteria of it, the way it pitches dangerously close to a sob. "this is just - this is just like you! this is the fucking - you blow out the candles on the birthday cake! you curse the kids i'm trying to babysit! you get straight-A's on every test without studying, and get all the friends, and everyone is obsessed with you! and then when i graduate from art school, do i fucking get a party? nope! but hey, let's throw edmund a party for his 300,000th tortured soul! and his 300,001st! and fucking everything else. and fuck me, i guess! edmund gets hurt on the playground, let's burn down the playground. i got fucking bullied, and our parents don't even notice. i am fucking struggling, but we need to pay attention to edmund. he gets fucking everything. while we're at it, why don't we let him fucking ruin my wedding!"
you are dimly aware of ashe wrapping one arm around you and then the other, and then you are sobbing into their shoulder.
"oh, come on. stop with the hysterics," your mother chides you. "you had a perfectly fine childhood. all kids fight. you should have gotten the ceremony done faster. and you know i didn't approve of you spending all this money when you have student loans to -"
"respectfully," ashe's voice is cold and cutting while they rub circles on your shaking back, "and i know you're about to be my mother-in-law, but -" you hear them force a smile, "maybe you could choose this moment to leave your daughter the fuck alone?"
you are so fucking in love with ashe at that moment that it stops your weeping like you got hit by a truck. you look up at them, and want to go back to crying, just overwhelmed by the sheer fucking amount you care about them, but then you look over at your mother, and her shocked expression, and you burst out laughing.
your mother makes a few almost fish-like motions with her mouth, and then turns on her heel, stomping over cinders on her way out. and then it is just you and ashe and edmund and how you are half-crying half-laughing quietly to yourself, like a tap that won't stop dripping.
edmund has put the chair down. he is staring at his hands. he is at least 500 pounds and over 7 feet tall (he doesn't use metric, he's the devil). and somehow, right now, he just looks... small. crestfallen.
"yeah, i mean." his voice cracks. there's no boom of thunder or hellhound echo. he sounds like he did as a kid, before the strange powers and the levitating and the souls of the damned. he sounds like he did the night he accidentally melted most of the pieces in your first glass art show. he sounds - like your brother. he puts the heel of his palm against his eye. "i ruined my sister's wedding."
ashe offers him a little half-grin. "i do just want to say i love the aesthetic, by the way. but you did very much ruin my wedding too."
he points at them, finger-guns. "....ruined their wedding too." something in the attempt at humor - how his voice breaks on the words, how lonely he sounds. it makes you have to close your eyes against the sound. "....you seem cool," he says. "it's... it was nice to meet you."
you hear him come over, his hooves clacking slowly on the floor. when you open your eyes, he's sitting closer to you.
he opens his hand. inside are two little ceramic figures. wedding cake toppers. "i... i made them for you two. i figured i would try - how you make art, without magic. i... i took a class, and i made - i made them." he looks down at the little white-dressed people in his wide, calloused palm. "it's... i wanted to be ... good. i..." he looks at you, and then at ashe. "i tried, you know?"
ashe reaches up, lets him roll the figures into their palm.
he stands up. folds his hands in front of himself. "i don't. know how to be good. i know it doesn't come naturally to you, either. i saw you... choose. to be kind. you could have treated me different, too. like everybody? i was weird, and everyone knew. if you'd been ... mean? it would have been okay. but you." he shrugs. "one time you tried to kill me in the bathroom."
you don't know why you're crying. you look up at him through the cracks between your fingers. "twice," you croak. "but the second time i had a knife." you tuck your hair behind your ears. "but that was only after you pushed me down the stairs at grandma's and i broke my leg before a dance performance. you fuckin' deserved that one."
"i pushed you because you were being a wretched bitch."
"hey now," ashe says, a little edge to their voice, "that's my wife."
you squeeze their hand. "no, he's right. i had deleted his pokemon gold save file right before the elite four."
ashe drops your hand like you scalded them, showing the only horror you've seen this whole time. "you - girl, what the fuck?"
you shrug a little. "i was being a wretched bitch. and he did break my leg about it."
edmund shifts a little. "i just - you are...." his voice dies.
in your family, you don't say i love you. in your family, you don't touch each other or show affection. in your family, you just show up for each other, quietly. neither of you knows how to speak or process what needs to be said. you can see that lacking flashing over his face, literally playing out in shades of crimson. you get that weird twin-sense of something unsaid.
ashe sets the little ceramic people to the side. "she treated you like a person when everyone else treated you like a prophet."
you cut your eyes to them, and then edmund, who gives you one very short, sharp nod. "i, uh. i can. never try." he clears his throat. "i can never try hard enough. for that. i can - what you gave me. by. doing that. by ... just. i made. one thousand. wedding toppers. so it could be perfect. because - i ... it needed to be perfect." he appears to be dying of embarrassment, which does imply he might be capable of dying. oh good. in case i need to try to kill him a third time.
the thought makes a weird, wet laugh bubble out of you. "remember that one time i failed my math test and you set mr. fog's car on fire about it?"
edmund looks shyly at you, and a very small grin spreads across his face. not the dark lord - just a 30-something year old man who has just upset his one-and-only twin.
"you're throwing us the most ostentatious, egregiously expensive wedding," you tell him. "above land."
he frowns a little. "okay, but i'm not doing anything in miami. the vibes there give me the heebie jeebies."
ashe holds up their hand. "and you'll be repaying the deposit on literally everything. oh, and replacing the cake."
you kiss their cheek and then point to him. "and you'll be on time for it."
he shrugs a little. "okay, i literally can't perform miracles, so like. set the bar lower. i can't promise i'll-"
you look down at your feet. "i'd like you to be my man of honor this time. like. by my side. so. you can't be late this time. okay? we do it the right way. finally."
"huh," ashe says, looking between the two of you. "you guys have the same smile."
edmund's grin becomes a little wider, a little easier. he raises an eyebrow at them. "okay, i get that you're cool, but you're like, very cool about this whole thing."
ashe lifts a shoulder. "used to work for the monster under the bed."
"oh shit, simon? fuck." he points to them. "remind me not to mess around with you."
you want to tell edmund i love you and i missed you, but you can't. instead, you pick up the figurines. they're not perfect, but you can tell hours of his life went into each. his hands are so big - it must have taken him so much work to make these things so small. you picture him with his back bent over a workbench, trying to get a face into a tiny clay figure. the ceramic version of you is smiling. he's given you little fangs and a unibrow. he gave ashe a tiny yellow crown. you make the two figures kiss.
snow is falling indoors, little icicles of hellfire. ashe reaches out and take edmund's hand, and then, very awkwardly, he reaches out and takes yours too.
for a moment, it's just the three of you, and the beautiful quiet of the room.
You’re standing at the altar, about to get married to your beautiful fiancée. When suddenly the king of demons bursts through the door of the room, which naturally causes panic. You tried to warn everyone that inviting your sibling to the wedding would mean trouble, but they kept insisting.
#SO long.#but also about like. siblings.#in this is one of the only times we learn the writer is in fact a middle child#i keep my family out of my writing which means i almost never write about sibling dynamics#but it's out of respect for their privacy#so gettin to play with the dynamics of siblings is fun when it's clearly not about us :)#but im very lucky to say im close with both of them!!#also somewhat been on both sides of this - being both like the Good Kid that is Unnoticed#and also the Complete Mess that fucks things up for their sibling without meaning it#this author has been permanently fucked up by that one scene in lilo & stitch#some of the real ones will identify ashe as being one of the only characters i've ever repeated#in the inkskinned universe#ps: i very carefully called it an event space and not a church :) they are not getting married in a church!!#1. they're getting gay married. so they might not even be able to get married in a church. & 2.#she really did want him to come. she chose a place he could come. he was just late and accidentally ruined it#(based on what my anxiety thinks will happen if i am late to events. im like. oh it would ruin everything and burn the place down.#better be safe and be there 3 hours early and then wait in my car for an hour and a half)#ps ps ps this is based off my relationship with my siblings so some of it is just like. sibling sense . i cannot explain#but the reason he brings up the fact she tried to kill him 2x as evidence she treated him the same is like -#she tried to kill him bc he is her brother and u try to kill your siblings sometimes#she was on that cain instinct.#but usually people respond like how we see in the story - screaming and worship and yes he absolutely has ppl tryna kill him#to like ''save the world'' when he's really just there to like do a job. HE didn't invent hell. he just runs it#and like i fully believe even before he had his powers he had the Sibling Instinct of like - she's not killing you bc of what you are#(the devil) she's tryna kill you bc of what you are to HER (her brother) . and i think that . really mattered to him#tbh low key became obsessed with this concept and was like. it would be such a good short-run tv show . fleabag style#bc i would write the demon king to be like. what it feels like to be neurodivergent. that no matter what you do . it STILL feels like you'r#never able to hide how inhuman you are. that you're always going to be alien to these people.#and just have the entire first season start here and be about him trying to throw a wedding for his twin sister#second episode is him in a farmer's market trying to find a good florist for it . just picture the dialogue with me. please.
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we wanna relax and have a good time for the rest of the night but that DM like sapped all of our spoons and mental energy. like we feel straight up like a husk rn i cant even think thoughts beyond what im about to type and i still have to manage all my fuckin 5e spells, on top of convoluted homebrew spells [skull emoji] [skull emoji] [skull emoji]
#our t#note to self: being talked to like youre an idiot all day with no break#bc as soon as you take longer than 5 fucking minutes to do smth else that your life demands of you or to just talk to ur partner#youre met with a 'still good to continue?' which IS just a good faith clarifying question but your own cptsd and autistic Polite Mode#automatically says Yes Im All Good so youre sucked back into autism mansplain central#DOES NOT DO YOU ANY GOOD!!!!#if anything. ANYTHING along these lines happens tomorrow then im out. like im outta there for real and im takin our partner w/ us#im literally only giving them a second chance because we're both neurodivergent but i dont think we'll ever be friends. like ever#just not the right kinda ppl for e/o vibe wise#which sucks cause the player who invited us is rlly sweet and fun#oh my god i just checked the timestamps. 6 continual nonstop hours of this. im 🧍fuck of m8#they clearly think we dont know jack shit about fuck. dont much appreciate it#''5e is super easy dont worry!'' A MONTH AND 6 HOURS LATER. FOR ONE THING#sorry for venting so much we're just disabled and sick of it#obviously they dont know just how disabled we are but at the same time when we state that we need simpler language re the math#they took that to mean they gotta talk to us like we're 5. for 6 continual hours. awesome
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i thought the whole dykes wearing carabiners with nothing on them thing was a joke but then my femme coworker showed up 2 work today w one and in my head i was like. i love you dearly
#that's it that's the post#do i think it's a little silly and makes no sense 2 me? yes#but this is harmless and such a non issue and i find it nice anyways so#also it is so fucking nice to work with a nice femme it keeps me sane and just makes me feel less alone#even tho we're both neurodivergent and do not talk constantly/consistently it's a chill kind of support like#like. it's just reassuring#having them There/Around#sap says
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Just for funsies:
Bonus: Tell me in the tags what YOUR autism traitor trait is if you have one! :D
#I don't hate stim toys or anything btw#a lot of them just look idk ''sticky'' for lack of a better word?#and it makes me nope out a bit#and the chew ones are both something I want bc of insane levels of oral fixation and maybe low-key pica-lite#and could never use because they always register as unclean either from environmental factors or saliva germs/mold#also yes I know ND applies to stuff besides autism and that traits can overlap but I'm only diagnosed with autism & anxiety#I almost put a sock option but I feel like there's a recognized ND alliance of always socks and never socks (I'm on team always socks)#autism#poll#polls#Tumblr polls#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things#neurodivergent#(also obviously traitor is used jokingly here there's not really any autism bylaws to violate)
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Workbooks to improve executive functioning
Since the post I made last night about improving executive functioning was so popular, I figured I should pull these out of my comments and give them their own post, in case it's helpful for people.
I have worked with the publishers of all of the books linked below and can vouch for their psychology books. The publisher of most of them, New Harbinger, is an extremely credible evidence-based psychology publisher.
Obvious disclaimer that everyone's brain is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.
Is there evidence that executive functioning can be improved? Yes. This book appears to be a very thorough overview of the field, and contains both advocates and detractors of cognitive training, for a balanced perspective. From the table of contents, I would really recommend jumping straight to Part 3: Developmental Perspectives for executive functioning (EF) writ large.
Certain therapy modalities are specifically designed for skill-building in areas like impulsivity, decision-making, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility, all of which are EF skills or very dependent on EF skills. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is probably the best field to look at for these - skill-building in those areas is its core goal.
Some DBT workbooks:
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens
There are also a lot of workbooks for ADHD that are sometimes more broad but also can help with executive functioning:
The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life
The CBT Workbook for Adult ADHD: Evidence-Based Exercises to Improve Your Focus, Productivity, and Wellbeing
The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD
General executive functioning workbooks:
The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens
Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults: Exercises to Help You Get Organized, Stay Focused, and Achieve Your Goals
Hope these are helpful to someone!!
#executive dysfunction#executive function#adhd#autism#actually autistic#neurodivergent#advice#adulting
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I’ve been forcing myself to go to events (orientation is this week, classes start next week) and talk to people, despite wanting nothing more than to simply vibe. And I’ve managed to make a friend, who is also queer, neurodivergent, & disabled. So it’s been a good day
#making friends#we started talking because we were both looking at a bookshelf and some of the books were upside down#so we fixed them and reorganized the bookshelf#as one does#autistic adult#neurodivergent#yes I also made some other friends#but this is different#we ended up talking for two hrs#actually disabled#we also bonded over the difficulty in finding canes#cause I debated bringing mine#and I should have#but i didnt#I also met a Frenchman#he was nice and chill#lgbtq#queer
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i think more neurodivergent people should practice saying "hey please only say yes to me infodumping to you about my favorite things when you have the emotional capacity for it, don't force yourself to or it defeats the purpose and if you hide it you'll grow resentment unnecessarily and if i ever find out i'll feel incredibly betrayed" to loved ones, even if they also are autistic/adhd/etc. it is an important boundary that is in OUR control and would radically change our sense of trust with others. we can be authentic AND build trust if we communicate effectively with other people
this can also apply to passionate ppl in general, and to their loved ones who think that making a martyr of themself so their loved one can ramble to them beyond what's comfortable makes them a better partner. it actually often does not. the only way we can learn to trust that you actually want to listen to us when we ask is when you say no sometimes too. otherwise we'll go into a guilt loop everytime, bc we don't have the data to prove that you would tell us if it was too much. i think even without neurodivergency being involved ppl are likely to martyrize themselves for their loved ones not realizing that being a martyr AT ALL will ALWAYS backfire at your loved ones. it never just affects you, and it always impedes genuine connection and trust. even i have been guilty of letting my autistic friends ramble at me until i was exhausted, and then straining beyond that bc it felt too rude to tell them, even when it was negatively affecting our emotional connection on my end. but communication is key, folks. it's a hard habit to learn but one we all must learn, and both sides need to do it
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Their Little Shark
Wandanat x neurodivergent!GN!reader
Summary: You're taken on a date to your favorite place; the aquarium.
Word count: 377
Warnings: very fluffy, r is spoiled, r refers to Wanda as Mommy and Natasha as Daddy
Authors note: @scarlethexelove said one thing and I scurried off to make this.
Going to the aquarium with Mommy!Wanda and Daddy!Natasha because your special interest is ocean life, but sharks are your favorite!
The two of them listen intently to your ramblings, loving every second of it as you smile so bright up at the sharks swimming overhead. Pointing out each one and stating various facts.
Wanda has to stop you every so often to take a drink of water as to not get a sore throat. Both of them know you could do this all day and they'd be more than happy with it, but they want to go to the gift shop before it closes.
You're reluctant until Natasha says you can pick out whatever you want which you should have known would be the case. You grab every shark plush that you can carry. Pointing and whining at the various shark onesie.
“Detka you've been talking all day use your words.” Wanda speaks delicately. She can tell you're hitting your wall now that the day is coming to an end.
“Please Mommy want the onesies.” You speak softly, not wanting the other patrons nearby to hear you. Luckily it's enough as Wanda grabs a few in her hands, two long sleeved ones and two short sleeved ones.
“Is that everything little shark?” Nat asks wrapping an arm around your waist. You beam up at her and nod.
“Yes Daddy! Thank you!” You push up on your tiptoes to give her a big kiss on the cheek and as you head for the cashier you see it.
You push all of the plushies into Natasha's arms and run over to this huge bin. Filled up with oversized plushies of various sea life.
A giant whale shark.
You just barely see it in the middle of the bin and have to dig for it, which Wanda immediately runs over to catch the other blushes that are going to fall out as you happily hug the whale shark that's almost as big as you.
On the ride home you're surrounded by your new friends, all snuggly in your onesie and sleeping with a smile on your face while hugging the whale shark tightly.
"Do you think it was worth it Tasha?" Wanda, who was partly turned in the passenger seat, questioned her wife.
“It was worth every penny.” Natasha said, looking at you through the rear view mirror.
#ley speaks#ley writes#ley writes drabbles#wandanat#wandanat x you#wandanat x reader#wandanat x gn!reader#wandanat x neurodivergent!reader#Wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff x gn!reader#wanda maximoff x gender neutral reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x you#natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader#natasha romanoff x gn!reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x y/n
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i've been debating on whether to post about this but what the hell, it's relevant both to today's episode and the topic of people trying to smooth over the flaws of Dungeon Meshi characters.... so, uh, remember what i said yesterday about Laios forgetting the basics of human decency when interacting with Izutsumi
i was intially worried about people reading this scene in uhh certain ways but was thankful to see most fans were chill with it... before i realized that. uh. maybe people were being a little too chill
okay............ so,
1. for the record: i believe that it is clear from what we know about him and what we know about the entire series as a whole that, yes, Laios didn't have "untoward" intentions towards Izutsumi in this scene. there's even an aside in Izutsumi's profile in the Adventurer's Bible that says as much. he likely saw it in basically the same way Falin did when she was observing the reproductive organs of the caterpillar in that one scene. FOR THE RECORD this excuse would basically never fly in real life, but for Laios, it actually honestly makes sense... he has a habit of ignoring people's boundaries, he gets ahead of himself when it comes to learning about monsters... he didn't have bad intentions, no, but it doesn't change the fact that he's an adult man (not a [my face contorts with a great pain] "curious boy") who was being really invasive about a teenage girl's body. it was weird. it was 100% weird, lmao, i don't think fans are "lacking media literacy" by saying "uh yeah that was kind of creepy and inappropriate of Laios"
2. and i also don't think it's villifying ND people to say that. if i were to be honest, i would argue the whole "he's just a curious boy :(" thing is a lot more offensive to neurodivergent people. Laios clearly knows about the concept of bodily autonomy- he felt weird and bad about touching Marcille and Senshi in "intimate" ways just to heal them. literally one scene after this one he expresses embarassment about accidentally touching the leg of (who he thinks to be) Marcille. he very obviously possesses the capacity to understand why it would be inappropriate to observe a stranger's body like they were an animal. i can accept the explanation that his monster curiosity temporarily overpowered his "oh actually maybe i shouldn't try to get up close and person with this teenager who i literally just met," but that doesn't change that he had to be restrained from doing that. i'm not even saying he's a "bad person" or anything because of this scene- i just am baffled at the idea of fans being presented with the slightest bit of messiness (he was creepy to a young girl, however unintentionally) and jumping to try and "justify" it (he's just silly, he's socially awkward, he's autistic, he's a Curious Boy) and even mock others who rightfully point out that that was uncomfortable behavior. Laios was creepy to Izutsumi. he didn't mean to, but he did (and to be quite frank he was lucky to get off with a smack from Chilchuck and a blindfold)
3. "I would also ask" excuse me?
#i have been utterly haunted by 'he's just a curious boy' for days#he's just a curious boy :( he's just a curious almost 30 year old boy :( :(#dungeon meshi
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"I thought if you get to know them, you'll grow to love them just as much as I do."
So like...
I know that Sonic assuming that Nine would just do what he wants is bad, specially since part of his reasoning came from thinking he would be and act just like Tails would...but.
You can still see that Sonic was actually pretty excited to have Nine in Green Hill, at the point in time of those screenshots Sonic thought that Nine was fine going to live in Green Hill, there was no reason (from his pov) to convince him that living in GH would be great. To me at least it reads as Sonic being really excited about not just getting his world and friends back (which obviously he would be happy about) but also about Nine being there with them specifically.
He talks about meeting Tails, having fun together in green hill...like, dude really just adopted the kid. They were family now, no questions asked.
#listen#i know the fanbase had treating this all lately as if Sonic thought of Nien as just another Tails or not seeing him as his own person#especially after his poor choice of words int he finale#when he said “Just like the real Tails would” he meant to indicate the Tails he grew up with. not that Tails is real & others aren't#but they are missing the point from little scattered moments which aren't as dramatic as that fallout#people tend to think Sonic saw Nine as Tails. nothing more.#but no. he DOES believe Nine is his own person#he doesn't even know what fixing GH could do. he just wants the friends he has made to become friends#remember how he was Black and Rusty “You two are a lot alike‚ you know that?”#he had a similar expectation regarding Nine and Tails. the truth is. Sonic truly had become attached to Nine as much as he was with Tails#and his idea of home was having them both#Nine more so than Sails & Mamgey bcoz the other two kits had a family growing up. they weren't alone like Nine#“Nine and all the rest of them are real”#Sonic has been desentisized to a degree abt even his OG friends' feelings to the point he assumes everyone's thoughts & reactions#it doesn't mean he doesn't care. he just doesn't know. he's not that way with just Nine. he was being that way eith Tails & the other too#poor guy just takes most things to face value. it's not his fault‚ kid is canonically neurodivergent. he cares abt every1 so so much#yes he made a miatake but he can't be blamed for everything#neither can be Nine. they both just wanted the best for one another
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I want to think a little about Blitz's self-perception with regard to his lack of education/sophistication. In my opinion, HB gives us a very accurate portrayal of what it feels like to navigate relationships when you're a person with a long history of feeling like you're never good enough ("I can always do better").
Let's start with his friendship with Moxxie, though like a lot of my posts, it will find its way back to stolitz.
Moxxie doesn't necessarily have more formal education than Blitz. I mean . . . he likely had the economic resources growing up, but I don't think Crimson seems like the kind of parent to prioritize education. Besides an education in violence. I assume that both Blitz and Moxxie had some basic education as kids, but the difference is that Moxxie likes "high culture(ish)" things like musicals and bow ties, enjoys knowing details about history, and probably reads for fun. He's also the kind of ". . . um actually . . ." friend who can make even a secure person feel a little stupid. Not that Blitz doesn't sometimes need to be called out, but Moxxie does seem to take some joy in correcting him.
And yes, Blitz bullies Moxx and calls his junk tiny and tells him to eat a salad, but like . . . it's pretty obvious that to some extent, Blitz is covering up for feeling inferior to Moxxie on some level.
We see how Blitz really feels about this in Truth Seekers.
Borrowed observation from excellent reaction youtuber Omn1media: When Blitz hallucinates Moxxie lecturing him, Moxxie goes really hard specifically on the insults to Blitz's intelligence. Moxxie's speech is also much more rambly/laced with figurative language than it is in their real (non-imagined) interactions.
We can see from Blitz's face in these scenes that these comments really get to him. Of course they do- he's making them up in his own nightmare.
"Foolish flights of fancy" is the rest of the caption there . . ."
He's very upset by the idea that he's really inferior to Moxxie- under all of the bravado, he's deeply insecure. It probably doesn't help that the truth gas made him admit that he didn't like the musical that Moxx recommended. Yes, I know that was a Cats joke, but also, Blitz bothered to lie, and he doesn't seem allergic to hurting Moxxie's feelings, so I think he wanted to pretend to "get" the "higher art" that Moxxie likes.
Okay so if Moxxie (with an essentially equivalent status and education) manages to unintentionally make Blitz feel stupid and uncultured, how does this translate when Blitz falls in love with Stolas, who IS objectively very high status and very well educated and DOES speak in "fancy rich people" language?
Oh. Right. The pedestal, the impossibility, and all of that.
I'm not saying that Hell's strict hierarchy doesn't have a lot to do with how Blitz perceives a real relationship between himself and Stolas as impossible- it absolutely does. And so does his history of failed relationships and heaping backpack of trauma. But also, the education/sophistication piece is there, and it's major.
I'm on the fence about whether Blitz actually sees himself as stupid or is just worried about being perceived that way by others. He obviously knows he's very good at the work he does, and that takes both a certain level of strategic thinking AND some very brilliant improvisation. I think he knows this. But he also knows he'll never . . . let's say, be the best read person in the room (if you want to know my thoughts on Blitz and literacy, click here- but short answer, I think he's quite literate but also dyslexic).
I think that like many real people who are kind of out of the box in this way (disrupted education and/or neurodivergence) he's simultaneously aware that he's very intelligent AND deeply insecure about being stupid or having others devalue his kind of intelligence.
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