#yes babe you have bpd

[underscorepepper]

he must be stopped ..

[kartwheeling-away]

the urge to shake him around like a chew toy

[thegreatestheaver]

@harpoonsnotspoons

#boypussy

[4ngel-f4ngzz]

“your pupils are HUGE you must really like me” yes babe. my pupils dilate as much as they do at the eye dr because i have bpd and you are quite literally my entire universe. incase you didnt know

[totalfknloser]

Idk if it's I'm being asking way too early from the last request , but how about a list about Zack , Brodie , Dion and Giles green and red flags ? Like a top who has more ? ( ahem , it's way too obvious who but let's keep the mystery )

You're writing is awesome 🤟

LMAO THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO FUNNY LOL but tbh idk who has more red flags?? zakk is a meanie pants and i feel giles would be.. interesting.. dion would just be kind of nervous and brodie is completely just 😻 i think it would be zakk tho cause well it’s zakk but he’s hot soooo..

.☠︎︎. ⚂ .⛧.♫.

♫ BRODIE! MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL BRODIE! (can you tell i like Brodie a lot?) i feel that Brodie would be a very normal boyfriend and person, just a little weird because as a metalhead myself i can confirm metalheads are a little weird in their own each way. Brodie is a very sweet boy and i feel like he has very little red flags to none. i think his green flags would be that he can cook and take care of himself (i headcanon this because of his parents cause don’t kill me if i’m wrong but considering his dad is i think.. dead? and his mom is a crazy bitch, i think he learnt to care for himself pretty fast.), he’s, as i always say, a total softie who’s a wonderful boyfriend, he’s a calm person to be around other than, well, when there is like a zombie demon thing apocalypse, and other yk, good boyfriend type shit. I think his red flags wouldn’t be too red and more beige or barely a red flag. I think Brodie’s little things would be like he’s not too into actual skincare and just does basic things like wash his hair and use soap and stuff, but he still has like dirt under his nails sometimes and picks at his acne n shit. but i believe he would be more than happy to have you care for him for him lol. i also think he would be sorta lazy and be pretty messy, but blah blah, basically he’s a good boy.

☠︎︎ second on our not that red to bright vermillion flags is Dion. Dion is like, overly a nerd. which isn’t a bad thing, i love me a sweet nerdy boy. Dion has little things too like idk picked his nose till 7th grade in middle school, or watches too much porn but not to an addiction, just more random little things. much like Brodie, he’s a good boy. but until you as a lover would get him to open up to being a little more used to what love is like, he wouldn’t do very much to keep up the relationship lmao, he just loves being around you. Dion is very sweet, just a little more unusual, but more than Brodie.

⚂ GILES! Giles is weird, i think Giles is weird. I don’t hate him, i LOVE him platonically, i think he’s funny. but would i date him? no. i just think he would be a bit too peculiar. nobody can tell me he doesn’t have a porn addiction, and hasn’t fucked something weird which yes, you cannot tell me otherwise cause yes he has fucked something weird, it’s mentioned in the movie! i think it was a dummy or something. I think Giles is just very weird sexually, like not piss kink weird (sorry to everyone with a piss kink), but like too much porn and hot babes weird. and i don’t think he would be very like loving at first? like he would love you as much as anyone else in a relationship, he just wouldn’t know how to show it, but he’d eventually get it, much like Dion.

⛧ and finally, our beautiful blood red Zakk. Zakk is a nasty mean boy as we all know. before he really loves you, i believe he would be a man with a bit of a sick sense of humor (yk like dark jokes or laughing at sort of fucked up stuff), would be terrible at caring for himself in not all ways, but most. and he’s like, a total asshole, obviously. i saw someone say that Zakk would have bpd and listed why and i so agree which bpd or any disorder (trust me y’all i have 4 disorders lmao) doesn’t make you a red flag till you let it make you a red flag, and i think Zakk would let it become a red flag. Zakk is just kinda fucked up. from weird things on the internet he saw when he was too young, to definitely having trauma, i think he’s a little fucked from the start. I still love him and he would def learn to love you. I think his version of love would be a bit possessive and overly clingy, like if anyone hit on you he would get more possessive than he really should. I also think he would hold onto you forever and ever and never let go, and if you left and especially if you hurt him when you left, he’d never forgive himself for letting someone get that close, and other sad bullshit. i think i could work through Zakk and get mutual love out of him but it would be hard. but i don’t really care though cause i know he got some meat down there and he has a pretty face so idgaf! <33 + i know deep down there he is a lovable man. for his green flags, he’s a sweetheart when you get to love him, as i’ve said before. he’s very capable of genuinely caring and loving, it’s just hard to get him to do so. we love our boy Zakk no matter what.

.☠︎︎. ⚂ .⛧.♫.

MY HEADCANONS ON THEIR RED FLAGS AND GREEN FLAGS! I LOVE THEM! I LOOOOVE THEM!

[strawbberryhead]

Name: strawberryhead

Real name: Lin yôu(林友)

Age:???

Birthday: November 21

Ethnicity: 🇵🇭🇪🇸🇨🇳

Fun facts about me:

-I'm really into kpop more on boy groups then girl groups but I've since Stan at least 25+ boy groups and maybe 5 girl groups.

-I'm also into anime I haven't watched anime in like a year now but I've been trying new anime's, my pfp may be nana but my favorite anime off all time is given.

-love dramas my tier list goes to 1st thai drama 2nd korean drama 3rd Chinese drama 4th Taiwanese drama 5th Japanese drama, and yes all of them are Asian I just like it and my fav genre for all types of drama is ether BL or GL.

-my hobbies are making novels and doing random makeup styles or cooking but as a kid I wanted my hobby to be drawing but I'm just bad at it.

-I'm not mentally well and I'm also super suicidal and have BPD(borderline personality disorder) but I've come to almost live with it.

-I also like survival shows which they form a new kpop boy group I'm currently watching starlight boys and project 7.

- I also like BL manwhas sometimes GL manhwas but more on BL and my fave manhwa is cherry blossoms after winter.

Drama & Movie Recommendations (with ratings from 1 to 10)

Never let me go [9.3/10]

My school president [8.2/10]

Hidden agenda [6/10]

Love is in the air [9.9/10]

2gether [6/10]

Still 2gether [6/10]

Bad buddy's [9/10]

Enchante [5/10]

Star in my mind season 1&2 [8/10]

Vice versa [7/10]

The miracle of the the teddy bear [9/10]

The eclipse [9.8/10]

Fish upon the sky [8/10]

Cutie pie season 1&2 [8.9/10]

A boss and a babe [9/10]

Not me [10/10]

Kinnporsche [8/10]

Until we meet again [7/10]

My only 12% [9.9/10]

Dark blue kiss [7/10]

Don't say no [9.8/10]

Tharntype [4/10]

Why R U? (Thailand) [3/10]

Moon light chicken [8/10]

Our sky season 1&2 [8/10]

Bed friend [7/10]

Our winter [6/10]

Past singer [5/10]

Hit bite love [5.5/10]

Future 2023 [8.6/10]

Boyband [4.3/10]

Tin Tem Jai [6.8/10]

Love syndrome season 1,2&3 [4.6/10]

Crazy handsome rich [5.4/10]

Low frequency [4/10]

Dinosaur love [6.3/10]

Wedding plan [7.4/10]

Step by step [5.2/10]

La pluie [9.6/10]

House of stars [2/10]

Be mine superstars [7.4/10]

Puppy honey [4.7/10]

Theory of love [8.5/10]

Cooking crush [9.9/10]

Secret crush on you [9.7/10]

My gangster oppa [8.9/10]

Playboy [5.1/10]

My engineer [9.5/10]

For him [8/10]

Big dragon [9.6/10]

Unforgotten night [9.7/10]

Between us [10/10]

Ai long nai [9.8/10]

Middle love [7.5/10]

Pit babe [7/10]

Last twilight [10/10]

Dangerous romance [10/10]

Love stage [9.1/10]

Meow ears up [9.89/10]

Only friends [8/10]

Love in translation [7.8/10]

We are [10/10]

Love mechanics [9/10]

City of stars [9.6/10]

Only boo! [9.1/10]

Deep night [8/10]

Lovely writer [9/10]

Friends with benefits [7/10]

War of Y [9.9/10]

Dead Friend Forever (DFF) [6.5/10]

1000 stars [9.9/10]

Cupid's last wish [10/10]

Wandee goodday [8.9/10]

Baker boys [4/10]

Work from heart [8.6/10]

Love with benefits [6.7/10]

Tonhon Chonlatee [9.8/10]

Semantic error [7/10]

Light On Me [10/10]

Nobleman's ryu wedding [10/10]

To my star [5.2/10]

Blueming [7/10]

Cherry blossom after winter [10/10]

Color rush season 1&2 [9/10]

Tinted with you [9/10]

Mr.heart [10/10]

Step for you [7/10]

Night fight [6/10]

Wish you:Your Melody from my heart [9/10]

My sweet dear [8.9/10]

The taste of Florida [-/10]

Peach of time [6.9/10]

Kissable lips [9.9/10]

The boy next door [8.9/10]

First love again [9/10]

Oh! Bonding house [8/10]

Love in spring [-/10]

Ocean Likes me [10/10]

Love class [8.7/10]

Choco milk shake [7.7/10]

Oh my assistant [5.4/10]

Ones again [10/10]

Roommates of poong duck 309 [6/10]

Sing my crush [10/10]

Unintentional love story [9/10]

Love tractor [8/10]

Why R U? (korean) [8/10]

Bon appetite [7/10]

Jazz for two [10/10]

The drector who buys me dinner [9/10]

Candy color paradox [9.9/10]

Perfect propose [8/10]

My personal weatherman [10/10]

You are mine [9/10]

Love for love's sake [9.8/10]

I will knock you [8/10]

About youth [8/10]

Ghost host ghost house [9/10]

Spring of crush [10/10]

High school return of the gangster [9/10]

Sing in love [6/10]

If it's with you [8/10]

love mate [5/10]

Eclipse [4/10]

A rose and a tulip [2/10]

In between seasons [5.5/10]

Mr.unlucky has no choice but kiss [8/10]

Love love you [9/10]

My bromance [0.1/10]

My on1y one[10/10]

The trainee[9/10]

On sale[8/10]

The monster next door[9/10]

Bad guy my boss[6/10]

Jack and joker[8/10]

I feel you linger in the air[10/10]

Memory in the Letter[7/10]

I saw you in my dream[10/10]

Hard love mission[8/10]

Sunset x Vibes[8/10]

Love sea[9/10]

Century of love[100/10]

Live in love[10/10]

Firstly like you[10/10]

Uncle unknown[-2/10]

Inverse identity[2/10]

Forever you[9/10]

Firstly like you[8/10]

Addictied heroine 2024 ver.[5/10]

A song currently stuck in my head right now

[bonefall]

You've said you want to show stigmatized disorders in positive lights in BB; any characters planned to have NPD traits? It's very much seen as the 'big bad' of PDs, so seeing it in a positive portrayal would mean a lot to me

The biggest reason why I don't currently have any planned is because I've tried like 3 times to sit down and do my research, and can find no good leads to personal accounts of what it's like to live with NPD

It's SO stigmatized that finding good accounts and resources has been impossible. I feel good and confident with BPD because I know someone who has it who's happy to talk about it, and they gave me access to the resources that their therapist gave them.

When I'm unsure of something, I ping them like, "babe does this look good?" and we chat about how to better approach the writing, if there's any unfortunate implications that may be accurate but are best avoided, good characters to pick to dispel stereotypes etc.

(good example is when I was considering Hollyleaf having it; since she has a very long arc about betrayal, murder, and political tyranny, we decided it might be unproblematic but it was a pretty uncomfortable thing to do to a BPD character when the disorder is already so stigmatized and associated with unreasonable fear of rejection.)

So, it's personal experience. Secondhand, yes, but still personal. Without them, I have a hard time even getting first-person BPD accounts without drowning in a deluge of,

"OOGABOOGA BPD BAD HOW TO RECOVER FROM EVIL WOMAN DISORDER ABUSE"

I really, sincerely do not want to accidentally stumble into the 'I Hate You Don't Leave Me' of NPD, if that makes sense, and walk away with a dehumanizing or inaccurate idea of what it's like to have it.

(side note: jesus christ IHYDLM is written like instructions for how to train a grizzly bear and i both cant believe it's the authority on BPD and am not even remotely surprised)

If you have good pointers though, like, forums I can visit, books I can read, websites with resources for people who have NPD, I'd appreciate it so I can finally do some research without being exposed to 3 sieverts of radiation poisoning from google's top results

[charmixpower]

Riven: Like I said. Any challenge you pick. Winner becomes leader of the Specialists

Sky: Riven, it's really not like you to be so… so serious

Riven: People change, Sky.

Sky: Fine. Fencing!

I think the acting like this is new behavior and not a regression of his character is actually more infuriating, also I only did fencing once several years ago and the depiction of it is so fundamentally terrible that it drives me insane. Why are they FENCING LIKE AN ACTUAL SWORD FIGHT OH MY GOD

Also once again Brandon would be the best leader because he's not insane and has charisma and can actually talk to people without making them hate him, I'll also take Timmy but he'd fucking hate being the leader and would die anytime he needed to do public speaking or make a split second decision

Riven: You got me. I give up. You will always be leader of the Specialists. And I will always be runner-up

No, Brandon is runner up and Sky shouldn't even be the leader in the first place. Go take several seats. Riven would never give up like this, and I'm one hundred percent certain that he's not giving up this is just poorly written dialogue

Sky: Give yourself some credit. It was an even match. If you kept your cool, you probably would've won

Riven: It's not just this match, Sky. No matter how hard I try, or how close I get, I always come up short. If I don't change something, I'll never reach the top

This??? Is interesting. Like. It's an acknowledgement of the past 5 seasons that it retconned in a character focused!! If you put a little more pressure on him feeling useless and wanting to be able to help against all these high level threats, and really focused on how hard he constantly tries to catch up but reminds stead fast behind Sky getting no where close to be genuinely useful—that would be beautiful, I'd be obsessed with it!!!! Drama and all it would be really fun!!!

That would absolutely be an interesting direction to take ALL the specialists, and just cut Nex while you're at it we don't need him. Or make him into an antagonist????

Imagine a magical specialist who constantly mocks the boys about never being useful to the girls and it really upsets Riven (because he's Riven) and he majorly over corrects! All while Brandon and Timmy are trying to drag him into calming down by his hair

What I hate about it, and what's so s1 about it is that he wants to be at the top. Babe. Your girlfriend can destroy you with her pinky finger

I'm imagining a good version of s5 where he's just freaking the fuck out over being useless and making it a entire issue™ because my BPD king (and his gf, the BPD queen) cannot not do that. And it's ALL the feelings godbless

That would also feel like a continuation of Riven's chilled out personality from s2. Yes he still takes people WAY too seriously, but after being kidnapped by Valtor and nearly being murdered by the Trix he had some perspective. He's just a silly billy

You can have relationship drama where no one is the "bad guy" Winx club, STEP AWAY FROM STELLA

[thedevilscarnival]

Have you seen the original Dead Ringers movie?

I have a friend who loves it but hated the new series, is the Amazon series any good?

yes ive seen the original film! its one of my favorite movies of all time actually, and cronenberg is my favorite director.

the amazon series, hm, well i find it to be very, VERY fun, but it shouldn't be seen as an adaptation but rather a reimagining. you know how the nbc hannibal tv show is completely different both stylistically (and erotically) from the original films & books? comparing dead ringers 88 to dead ringers 23 is similar in that regard. the tv show throws all subtlety out the window to be as absolutely gross and yucky disgusting as it can possibly be and is way, WAY more about the inherent horror of pregnancy than doctors exploiting their patients. i like gross and yucky disgusting so im having a great time.

tldr if youre the kind of person to look at a bpd babe having an absolute mess of a breakdown and go "god i wish she'd [redacted] me" the 2023 version is one of the best examples of that on the market

[television-pil0t]

Also the reason I was seen to be schizophrenic was mostly because when I was going though it 🤭(that’s not funny at all I lost all my friends) I was having all the schizophrenic symptoms when I was psychotic/ still am it takes a week or something idk. Still taking my meds even tho a good part of me is telling me to stop being there bad I’m gonna ignore it because that’s literally textbook psycho.

I think my last diagnosis was being schizoaffective. I have to ask my parents for the paper because I’m genuinely curious.

I’m pretty like 99% sure I’m diagnose schizoaffective because of how much it was talked about like “are you ok with this.” But also just the very very violent nature of me kinda pushed it a lot. If it’s not aspd it’s definitely bpd and schizoaffective. It would explain both the loss of emotions yet the full scale emotional range. The anger, the violent thoughts, the depression, the hallucinations and delusions I have on a very frequent basis. And the mania since bpd didn’t have manic episodes it has euphoric episodes but I do experience mania from time to time.

They also gave me some Anticonvulsants with I haven’t taken but they control violent behavior and mood swings so 🤷🏽‍♂️

They also talked to my parents about more than just therapy but full of skill training which i didn’t even know that was a thing but it’s basically like a group that teaches you how to show emotions and interact with other humans in a human way. How to react to things. How to.. be normal basically.

But yeah. So

So I don’t think I have aspd because I’ve genuinely loved people before. Exhibit A is my MOTHER as exhibit B is everyone else in my damn life. I just forget what the feeling is like and then forget I ever felt it and then spiral from them. It’s more of a me thing and how I genuinely need to think like a normal person and stop wanting to be actually.. worshiped but yeah.

I loved my mommy even tho she did bad things.

I love my friends even though I have no internet to them almost all the time.

I loved all my exs.. including Simon, khye… actually that’s it. Everyone else sucked it was only them..

Edit: so.. reading over everything I said for the past very long time of saying how much I wanna hurt Simon and kill my parents.. I should’ve been.. checked in.. a very.. very.. very long time ago. :/

“I can’t believe that faggot would treat me like this I’m gonna bash his brains in” is NOT normal💯🅱️🫵🏾 it was very clear that I was having a episode for a very long while.

Cuz at first I was like “what the fuck like this episode was so short like a few days.” Bro look around��� look at your leg. Look at your tumblr. You talked about killing this person so much you forgot you felt the emotion love bro. It wasn’t a few days.

Thinking about it MORE I remember having a conversation with him (kinda remember) where I was like “I just don’t remember anything that happened today. I don’t fucking know lol” what was the funny part about that sentence babe🤨 we’re waiting to laugh.

“I never loved him.” Bro a few days ago you typed a poem about how much YOU DID love him? What are you on rn?? NOTHING AND THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ISSUE. What do you mean you never loved your mother. Bro be so fuckin fr that was your day 1 hold it down one and only homie till y’all die bonnie and Clyde bitch right there. You did everything for her💀 your only alive because of her. Whatchu mean?

“I never loved daemon.” Yes. Ya did.

“I never loved Simon.” Bro it was 3 years where you cut and cried over him for a few.. DAYS. Let’s be fr babe🤭 I know you where having a really bad episode for a few months but let’s come back down to reality. Be real. It was 3 years and you literally DIDNT wanna break up with him. You said take a break because your stomach PHYSICALLY was HURTING at the thought of breaking up with him💀 try that shit again bitch ass nigga and I will beat the sit outta you (talking to myself.)

[satansxlapxcat]

Motivation. Who is she and where can I find her?

Lately, I'm not sure about you, but my timeline has blown up with content around getting your body in shape for summer.

"We're only eight weeks away from getting our bodies outside! Get that waist teeny and that ass tight!"

I mean, yes, hell yes, I want to be the baddest babe out on these Seattle lakes this summer. The thing is though, where on Earth do I find the motivation to get going balls to the walls in the gym?

Two years ago (omg - two whole years), I was in great shape. Going to the gym three times a week and watching what I ate - When I think back to that time though, a lot was different.

First off, things were only just opening back up as long as you masked up. Second, my job required almost no thought for me because it was a low level RC job at one of the big Seattle tech firms. Third, I was in a relationship where my boyfriend did most of the cooking. I didn't have many plans with friends because we were still sticking close to bubbles, I wasn't burnt out after work, and I didn't have to worry about making dinner and could come home from the gym, kiss my boyfriend hello while he was cracking into dinner, shower up, and that'd be it.

Long story short, I had more time.

At the beginning of this month, I started a new (and so far the easiest) planning ritual. I color code activities I do either on a weekly or monthly basis, plan out what days I will do what, and that's my schedule for the month. It's been great so far for everything! Everything except, you guessed it, working out.

While I do still somehow make time for the gym twice a week - barely - it's likely not on the days I've 'scheduled'. And even then, I am absolutely dragging or figuring out a way out of it.

Today for instance, I got amazing news from work (a director in my org sought me out for an open position and while my VP said she'd 'cry her eyes out' if I left my department that she'd welcome it if it meant growth in my career), so I decided that I'd skip the gym and let myself celebrate a bit. Celebration meaning having a glass of wine, poured to the brim, up on my rooftop in the chilled but sunny Seattle early evening, and reading more of a book I'm stuck into.

Why on earth would I celebrate wonderful news (being highly regarded at work - wow) by going to the gym?

Honestly, I wish I was more like my dad in this regard. His coping mechanism is going to the gym. He goes. Every. Day. That's how he deals with anything - by doing something active. If I would've grown up in his house instead of my BPD mothers maybe it'd be easier for me to dig up the motivation to go to the gym more often...

But this also isn't just a difference from my situation two years ago versus now or how I wish working out was my coping mechanism, I think deep down it's a difference in how I feel about my life.

Two years ago, sure, I had more time and a boyfriend who did wonderful things like cook dinner most nights. What I failed to let sink in at the time was that I also felt that I had lost all direction in my life and had no control over what was happening to me. Classic pandemic vibes, right?

I'd lost my (still favorite) job in the entertainment industry which was an industry I wanted to be in forever and made a career plan for, I had been unhappy in my relationship for months, and everything felt like it was crumbling around me and I'd never be on solid ground again.

Here comes the obsession with my weight... ⚠️ TW ⚠️

The only thing I could control was how I looked. What I ate and how hard I pushed myself at the gym were the only things I had absolute control over. Not my feelings (I had only just started therapy at that point), not my career (pandemic, remember?), and certainly not how my boyfriend wished I was someone I am not (maybe I'll talk about that another time).

So I went for it. I counted every calorie, only drank on Sunday's because football and even then made sure to count the liquid calories, I tracked all of my workouts and did cardio until I almost couldn't breathe - I let it consume me.

As the pounds came off, I was happy I was reaching my high school weight, my tummy was flatter, I had a thigh gap for the first time ever in my life - I felt accomplished, but in the end it didn't actually make me happy. I was still in a dead end job, still unhappy in my relationship, and still not able to see my friends the way I used to.

Honestly, I am not sure if it's a lack of motivation so much as how much I really feel like I need to make my waist smaller and my ass fatter. Certainly, no one has ever turned me down before. Do I wish I had a flatter tummy and slimmer facial features? Sure. But that's between me, societal beauty expectations, and my own inner critic.

I mean I'm not out of shape, hell I climb 160 floors on the stairmaster and kick ass in a boxing class every week, but I know that I don't want to go back to the mental place I was in to get the body I had two years ago. She was boarding on an ED with the way she would try to compete with herself to eat less calories than she was allotted that day.

I don't want to be her again, but it would be nice to find a way to get the motivation to maybe look more like her.

[pinkietard]

I wanted to stab her for crying that much, calling repeatedly when I told her to stop. I wish you heard the call yesterday, she asked me " WHY DO YOU NEED HANNAH THAT MUCH??" I wanted to put it into words that she'd understand and I said " you know how you have bpd, and there's a favorite person. If I had bod, she'd be my favorite person" and she screamed at the top of her lungs, crying, sobbing her fucking eyes out

"I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER, WHY IS SHE TALKING YOU AWAY FROM ME"

"SHES NOT"

"YES SHE IS, HOW CAN YOU PUT HER ABOVE ME??? WHY IS SHE THE MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE"

"BABE IDK ITS NOT LIKE THAT, YOURE PUTTING SHIT IN YOUR HEAD. It's been like this for years and you never said anything"

And then she screamed, broke her drawer, threw her water bottle and I had to listen to it all the way back home from my walk

"I'm blocking her, I hate her, there's nothing that can be said. I can't stand being around anyone more important than me in your life, it's not like we call anyway"

I was empathetic the whole way there, not a sliver of attention for what she had been saying about you. I told her before we started dating that if she had tried to come between me and you in any way in would be over

[444sadgirl]

yes babe you have bpd, beautiful princess disorder

[ari-the-rockstar]

"notice how not having a sense of awareness isnt on this list? yes, i experience all three of those traits. no im not a fucking shitty person to random strangers thats just weird. theres this thing called SELF CONTROL that i actually have, ever heard of it? lacking empathy is not a bad thing. "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another", according to the definition. i lack the ability to understand the feelings of other people and i lack the ability to share feelings with someone cause im not a damn spiritual empath. thats not saying im an abusive monster. excessive admiration ooh boy. man wtf do u think im gonna do with that lmao yeah i really need excessive admiration to not want to fucking kill myself but that doesnt mean im gonna go GGRGGGGGG ABRK AKR VBAKRKKK BARKJ and act like a rabid dog if i dont have it. YES i have a sense of entitlement but again wtf am i gonna do with that BARK AT SOMEONE if they dont agree lmao??"

"cause i'm not a damn spiritual empath" nobody is??? low empathy is fine but it's the combination of self-absorbedness which makes it abusive. if you need excessive admiration to not want to kys then...that is a you problem, i'm so sorry<3 it makes sense! someone saying that people with your disorder are abusive is not excessively admiring you. however just because it hurts your feelings doesn't mean it isn't true.

"a, i never said ur abuse is illegitimate lmao what r u on. and yes it SHOULD be rebranded. you wanna know why? if you look up "npd recovery" you fucking get "hOw To ReCoVeR FrOm NaRc AbUsE!!!" and a bunch of shit about porn and how we're demons whos eyes turn black. you say youve done alot of work to overcome them but youre forgetting npd can BARELY recover themselves because of ppl shouting NARC ABUSE!!! everywhere. if you have bpd i realllllyyyyyy dont think u shld be commenting on npd babes im juuussttt saying!! ur not a doctor and npd and bpd dont share the same symptoms!! and literally who tf is using "i was abused too" as an excuse baby bc its not me. u dont see me doing it."

yes you DO say that it is illegitimate. saying narc abuse is not real is LITERALLY saying that my abuse is not real. because it was VERY stereotypical narc abuse. go to r/raisedbynarcissists <3 they will tell you alll about it.

okay but you do realize that narc abuse is a VERY serious problem and maybe you should not be always angry that there are support groups for victims instead of groups to support the people who perpetuate it??? like if you want to recover that's good, but there are a LOT of people who are hurting and if something is not for you just scroll. if you aren't abusive then it shouldn't make you feel bad?

bpd and npd are two cluster b disorders hunny, pwNPD seem to usually just whine about how the world is sooo mean to them rather than ACTUALLY try and recover. i see more about "npd is so sexy and hot" than "how to get better from npd." and fyi LOTS of people use the "i was abused too excuse," i said it earlier so u couldn't pull it on me.

"oh noooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 person wi-with bpd is joking about their traits !!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 person w-w-w-w-w-w-with npd is making coping jokes!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 o-o-o-oh no scary npd borderline monster isnt having panic attacks 🥺🥺 on their blog 🥺🥺🥺 every 30 seconds 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and is actually using humor to cope!!! wahahahahhahahwaahahhhh i cant handle people who cope differently than me 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you joking about your disorder means y-you cant have it!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺"

girl what. this is just embarrassing. there's a difference between coping and romanticizing. your WHOLE blog is romanticizing. at some point you gotta do some dirty work and get better.

yeah, you will feel like a shit a little bit. yeah, you will realize that you probably did or said some awful things. if you so badly want to see those "recovery" things then actually put in the work!! you just want to whine and whine forever.

"bb i dont know what ur on but ur objectively wrong and i wanted u to see lmfao. if u say something online it is public. it is PUBLIC. its not private its PUBLIC, i have the right to ss it and i hope u know that<3"

bestie idk where you're coming from but the ENTIRE idea of "npd is good and hot actually" is a very new take. like, 2-5 years old new. the idea of narcissism being ABUSIVE has been around since longer than u or i was alive. if you say something online it is public too <333 i never said anything about it? lmao i just found it funny you singled me out among everyone because you care soo much. cope harder <3

there is no fucking way 💀💀💀

okay lets just !!! ignore ALLLL of my other symptoms because im not abusive i dont have npd sorry guys npd diagnosis cancelled i dont have it anymore sorry guys because this one person on the internet said so

[herhighnessthequeen]

Tips that have helped me with my depression.

Disclamier: These are things that have helped me personally stay busy but happy after an attempt. Take what you need and leave what you don’t bb <3

‘Just do it’ mentality - Trust me the last thing I want to do is chores and let’s face it simple hygiene stuff like brushing your teeth, showering etc. However, since my recent hospitalization, I have forced myself to get back into a routine and back to human civilization. So if I don’t want to wash the dishes? Annalee, fuck it and just do it! Laundry? Annalee, fuck it and just do it! Fake it till you make it right?? It saves my mind at the end of the day.

Cleaning - I hate it so say it but it’s true, a clean space is a clear mind. Start small! Bedside table, washing your bedsheets, clearing your bathroom counter. Small steps and go at your own pace! Each task is a step to a cleaner and more organized space.

Therapy - personally I have a therapist which I highly recommend but thanks to terrible healthcare in the U.S it’s out of grasp for others. Now this one may not be for everybody, depending on the circumstances. But bb its time; therapy, shadow work, self reflection, even healing you inner child is a start. Ex: Going for ice cream and eating it at a park was a great start for me and my inner child. There are almost plenty of resources for free therapy, most depend on your location. Please approach that cautiously and safely 

Meals - Being in the behavioral hospital was overwhelming but the thing i’m surprised it helped me with is recognizing my hunger cues. Most of us are not breakfast people, and I am definitely not one but it’s what has been keeping me going; and by going I mean out of bed (even if I go to bed right after i’m done) Please eat bb, you deserve it.

Finding a hobby - Most people might have this one down and other may not but find something that makes you happy even if you’re not good at it. Mine is plants, i’ve killed a couple a lot along the way but spending time on them brings me true joy. Find that spark again

Self Isolation -  Living with BPD has been a challenge when it comes to me isolating myself, so i’ve said fuck it and started making plans with friends and it’s been working?? Sure there were some cancelations but some real connections made non the less. Say yes to the friend that you always cancel on! I know it’s hard but it’s like a work out, you feel so great afterwards! (I’d take this with a grain of salt because I know how hard it is to be around certain friends. Triggers, snide comments etc)

NO FRAUDS - In the words of Mrs. Minaj. I don't need no, frauds. I don't need no, drama when you call. I don't need no, fake. Coming from someone who just let go of her FAVORITE PERSON (bpd term?) recently I know it’s fucking hard to let go but I needed it and have been feeling so much better without the dead weight. If someone has come to your mind after reading this chances are you need to let them go bb!!

Delete the playlists babe! - Delete the Mistki, delete Marvin’s Room by Drake, delete godspeed by Frank, delete any songs that you usually cry in the car to. Trust me this isn’t the mania talking, just delete the sad/heartbreak playlists

If you’ve completed all of this and feel like it’s way too much, I completely understand and by all means go at your own pace and LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!! Personally all of these have been keeping me out of bed and not self-loathing 24/7. Maybe it’s mania, maybe it’s not but it’s been keeping me going for more than 6 weeks?  xoxox

-Your Go-To Bitch

[darkestcorners]

idk if I sent this question already but,

Jungkook in polarity, tends to shut down any attempt on oc telling him she hates him. Like in the first chapters and she was only able to truly tell him this last chapter. I wonder, and idk if it's going to explore on the next episode or not.

but I wonder is it because of something his mother had said to him, that he stopped any attempt of oc saying it to him. or is it just because he is just him and he just doesn't like to her. any peculiar reason?

thank you, omg I'm so excited.

Hi babes! ❤️ Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter ! I’m excited for u guys to read it :)

I think you’re right in leaning towards it having to do with a particular moment in his childhood involving his mother . The next chapter may reveal more about that and we may see some more glimpses of his resentment towards his mother ( however I think chapter 4 of his POV will reveal even more so I’m excited to post that later on ) But yes, I think you can assume that he feels those words can take him back into that dark time in his supposed childhood and he may make a connection to his mother ‘rejecting’ him .

However, it also is part of his overall character. I think I’ve mentioned this before but Polarity JK could be considered a grandiose narcissist to a certain level, he’s entitled, arrogant and is overly confident most of the time. He still comes off charming and likeable to others but he’s also quick to anger when confronted ( that also ties into his bpd ) but he seems to lack empathy for others except for when it comes to the MC ( and even for her at times, he’s not very empathetic when her distraught feelings aren’t towards him ) . He craves validation but only from her , he really feeds off her neediness because he himself is very needy for her attention and praise. So I think part of the reason he seems to be petrified of the MC outwardly saying she hates him and rejecting him is one, a massive blow to his ego & two, him actually being scared the only person he has essentially put on pedestal and idealized so much could potentially not return those feelings for him.

Towards the end of Chapter 4, you can see how much Jungkook craves for the MC to eventually love him back, in that small moment of vulnerability, you can see his confident demeanor break for a second. I think it’s safe to say his worst nightmare would be the MC actually truly hating him!