#yes I’m aware I have a problem
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Aaahh time to wind down to go to bed with some light reading *opens Ao3 and B-lines it straight to destiel fanfic*
#crow chatter#supernatural#destiel#yes I’m aware I have a problem#i’m just too lazy to hold open a real book plus my phone self illuminates rather than having to hook up a shitty reading light
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everyone say thank you to dunmeshi for somewhat helping me rekindle my relationship with food via me thinking “Senshi would be proud if I ate a healthy dinner, actually” .
is it silly ? incredibly. is it helpful ? incredibly.
#I have a lot of problems w/ nausea and eating#and I don’t really like food very much#And I’ve also been sick for days bc I haven’t been able to eat#BUT#it’s a good motivator to keep going when I can get food down#yes it’s silly I’m aware of it but also#I don’t have a therapist rn so this is as close to that as I can get slash half joke#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#senshi dunmeshi
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Cause of my inhaler I’ve been thinking more and more about the stress living on Vulcan would cause the Human body
And do you think the tri-ox compound can be used daily? Or do you think maybe Humans like Amanda who live on Vulcan had to have days where they hang out in like. an artificial biome that has the same oxygen levels as on earth?
Also do you think inhalers are still used or would tri-ox compound hypos be used in its place? And what if you have asthma and are on Vulcan?
#yes I’m a little bit devastated that it would be even more difficult for me to visit a fictional planet#I really need to have another appointment with my doctor about my inhaler#now that I’m more aware of what it feels like when I’m not actually getting air in my lungs#I’m now painfully aware that I need to use my inhaler every day#and I don’t think I’m supposed to use rescue inhalers every day?#eh that’s a problem for another day#star trek#humans#Vulcans#amanda grayson
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*sigh* Okay, I don’t know why this is driving me nuts, but it is, so…help! How long is Eliza’s hair? Does she wear extensions sometimes or is her hair layered super well? (Honestly, this is a complete non-issue & she looks absolutely gorgeous no matter what. However, this has also been living in my head for months now & I know absolutely nothing about extensions or super stylish haircuts, so here we are.)
Pics fm Jan ‘24-Sep ‘24
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#eliza taylor#eliza jane taylor#eliza morley#the 100#t100#clarke griffin#bob morley#bellamy blake#beliza#bellarke#quantum leap#hannah carson#caitlyn bassett#haircut#hair extensions#yes i have a problem#i’m aware#alannacouture
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Y’all can like Eurylochus without dragging Polites down by the way, in case y’all need a reminder.
I genuinely don’t understand why a lot of y’all are dead set on dragging Polites through the mud just to try and make Eurylochus look like a better character. Just say that you like Eurylochus’ character better and that you wish he was appreciated more by the fandom as a whole.
#I promised myself I would stop ranting#but here we are#polites epic the musical#eurylochus epic the muscial#tagging the fandom tags this time cause why not#also yes I am aware and fully support people having their own opinions on these characters#though I am also allowed to state my opinions and how I think a lot of y’all just want to blame one character for the actions of another#I’m tired of the hate either of these characters receive as someone who is a fan of both#it’s really tiring#you can like Eurylochus and wish he got more love in the fandom without making Polites look like this idiot who knows nothing#no polites is not the root of all problems and neither is eurylochus
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TOO FEMME TO BE MASC TOO MASC TO BE FEMME WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO 😫😫😫
#before you comment ‘oh you don’t have to be either you know lesbian presentation isn’t a binary!’: yes i fucking know that believe me#yes it’s not a binary. yes i don’t have to be strictly femme and strictly masc. i’m aware of that#believe me. i know ALL about obscuring binaries but that’s a different post#the problem is that it’s still often just boiled down to that distinction#and those are like. so fucking strict when people care to uphold them???#like. femmes are held to a certain ideal of beauty. mascs are held to a certain ideal of behavior. you know???#do i fit the femme ideals? absolutely not i hate trying to wear a lot of femme fashion#do i fit the masc ideals? absolutely not im a goof 24/7 and i hate trying to withhold genuine emotions#i hate trying to be always tough but i hate having to always be sweet and cutesy#anyway my point is: lesbian presentation is not a binary until it’s upheld as one. and if i don’t fit what the fuck do you want me to be???#can we move the fuck on from binaries please???#tldr i hate how femme vs masc has just become woman vs man again in certain spaces it’s fucking horrible what are y’all doing over there#grace being stupid#text post#wlw#lgbtq#lesbian#sapphic
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everytime i talk to someone from another country. i always say if i need to say a brand name, i will always go with: oh this name is a makeup store in my country! Or a restaurant here! Cause how else would a person from another country, know that?? then i talk to an american and go: oh yeah i just went to Five guys. like. IDK WHAT THAT IS? HELLO?? If i wasn’t as online as i am, i would literally be so confused.
#i have only had this problem when speaking with americans?#it’s never like germany. or Australia. or the UK.#yes i know Five guys is a fast food restaurant#unless ofc they arent aware that america has alot of brand names only in america/canada#this is a joke post. i love my American mutuals but i’m very confused by this thing
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fucking TIRED of artists ignoring the south. TIRED. very SAD. AND DISAPPOINTED. but mostly immensely SAD. like, sure, we’re technically not owed anything, but in the end all music fans want is to be able to see their favorite artists live. and if they don’t tour at all, well, that’s something, i respect that. but to see artist after artist after artist go touring and just ignoring and leaving out your area —mind you, my area has a population of 6.1 MILLION PEOPLE and plenty of venues to accommodate any kind of act and any capacity— for no fucking good reason is so, so, so disheartening. sorry for being some dumb cowboys unworthy of your indie artsy presence, i guess.
#i’m just so so so sad#like. it’s been one after the other after the other#and it’s just. so so sad#and i’m aware that this is a very first world problem when so many countries never even get artists to go there#believe me i know. i’ve been there too#but it’s so. SADDDD!!!!!!!!!#don’t call it a tour if you’re not really gonna tour honey#it’s not like you don’t know you DO HAVE FANS IN THE FUCKING SOUTH#not like your band didn’t play SOLD OUT SHOWS IN THE SOUTH LAST YEAR#yes this specific rant is a consequence of luke hemmings’s disappointing announcement#not that anyone cares#but it still applies to so many artists COME ON#i’m just. sad#pls ignore me
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If I found out if you’re a minor interacting with my works, I’m sending you this in your DMs.
I already said my peace and I will make it sting for those who don’t listen. People earn their misery when they don’t think about how their actions affect themselves and others.
GET OUT.
P.S. if there are adult based fandom groups who are including minors, they are creeps and don’t have your well-being in mind.
They might as well offer you candy so you can get into their van. The same ones your legal guardians should’ve warn you to stay away from.
To those very adults, you deserve the worse kind of suffering if you’ve been this stupid on intentionally including kids into this kind of space. You’re responsible if something happened.
#not art#if I hear a stupid reason such as “I’m socially awkward#I don’t have any friends#I don’t know how to talk to people#bish#I’ve felt alienated to have any true and lasting friendships#try again#or better yet clean your act#yes I’m aware intergenerational friendships are a thing THE PROBLEM IS TIME AND PLACE
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i think a lot of people coddle kuai liang too much. yes he’s good and a tortured man etc. and people see that he has struggled but don’t really see that he still is struggling and has faults. even in mk12 people aren’t really talking about how he did in fact try to kill bi-han- which yes, he would have regretted, but that is still a fault you have to see in him. he’s susceptible to fits of blind rage that will make him do things he’ll regret. his anger was justified (obviously) but he’s also capable of murdering his own brother (which once again, i am sure he would have regretted).
#like criticism of writing aside- that is who he is now. he isn’t an innocent baby who needs to be constantly coddled#he’s a nice guy he’s a great guy etc etc etc but he has these negative traits that are a part of his character#idk if infantilizing would be the right word for what i feel like this fandom does to him#as much as i talk about bihan it’s kuai liang who’s the character who i love most#mostly for sentimental reasons due to being the character i first liked#but i feel like the fandom doesn’t really appreciate him as much as they want to ‘baby’ him#and once again he’s one of the purest characters out there!! but he’s also full of a lot of pain#and in mk12 we actually saw him exert that pain into rage which almost killed bihan#and it’s a negative part of him (the consequences of his blinding rage) that we have to also accept as a part of him#this isn’t directed at anyone this is just a general problem i have with the fandom#i like him a lot and think he has faults we should also appreciate him for and that negative traits in a character don’t make them a bad#character but make them more interesting 👍#i think his anger is now brushed off as ‘oh yeah it’s justified’ and like yeah but also do you see how he almost killed bihan? how he#violently killed the guards?#how he would have done that to bihan if he was not stopped by a gaurd?#his anger is beyond something that’s just ‘justified’ it’s also something that *can* control him#and yes i’m aware he ended up sparing bihan after their fight but that’s not the point i’m making#kuai liang#talking;
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ah, hello, Hacking Cough And Lungs Seizing Mysteriously. I thought we were done seeing each other. i’d be glad if you would quietly go away again.
#kit talks#the new inhaler was helping. for like two months it’s helped.#and within the past week or so The Horrors have crept back in#you know i’m so afraid pulmonary is gonna try to tell me the cats are the problem idk why i’ve gotten that in my head but i have#i’ve always had a mild cat allergy but my asthma hasn’t been this bad til the last few years so i truly don’t think it’s the cats#that worry is probably just usual Doctor Anxiety but god#and what if he wants to put me on a stronger med? my rheum briefly mentioned biologics when i said i’d be seeing pulmonary and like#thats scary! thats Grown Up Meds! surely it’s not that bad? like thats for people who are getting Hospitaized by asthma right?#anyway you can ignore these tags. yes i know i’m Making Up A Dude and also Self Gaslighting. i’m aware.#anyway the albuterol has helped some so maybe i can go chill now#alphabet soup of chronic illnesses
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really think i need to make more irl friends, but it feels so impossible. like most of the ppl my age seem to only hang out in bars, and it’s like sorry, i’m uncool and can’t drink, bc i’m on medication. and making friends via dating apps or something similar is abysmal. so, i’m kinda stuck imaooooo
#i’m aware not everyone hangs out in bars but might have reasons why they can’t hang out#elsewhere like in coffee shops or restaurants or parks or something#bc i certainly do#maybe there’s people who feel the exact way i do and can’t or don't want to leave the house bc of extenuating circumstances#like it’s difficult for me to leave the house#do i want to? yes but that doesn’t negate the difficulty#trying to make friends in general feels like pulling teeth#after a lifetime of autism and social anxiety i’m literally not fully convinced i even know how to communicate i just fell ass backwards#into stuff a lot of the time#trying to put myself out there in any way is literally so incredibly cringe to me#even if i do want to but again doesn’t negate the difficulty#but also again don’t know how to talk to people so even if by some miracle i make friends i might not get to keep them#idk it’s all just so frustrating#i envy the people who can make friends no problem and can talk to people and talking to said people doesn’t wear them out even if you really#like them bc social interaction is exhausting with anyone#but like it’s obviously worse when it’s new#bc small talk actually makes me want to stick forks in my eyes#i wish it were easy but it isn’t#idk i want my independence back and i want my freedom and i want irl friends again#and i want the world to stop feeling so closed off bc i know it isn’t#it’s just hard to see it that way from being bed bound most of the time#and that isn’t gonna change anytime soon#but i wanna open up the world again and i wanna go outside#and making irl friends is part of but i have absolutely no idea where to start#and the cycle continues#christ i almost wish i were back in college with the ‘girl gang’#i mean i felt like a huge outsider to them but at least i kinda had people to hang out with#idk desperately need to open my life up again bc literally no one can live like this and i’ve already been manic once this year#and i’d like to not be in that bad of a place again if i can help it#but idk what to do currently so 🤷🏻♀️
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I think I’ve reached peak library user, I’ve got the max books out and one of my reservations has come in and the book I’m currently reading is from a Different Library so won’t even help me make space for the new one
#and I’ve currently got an ebook on the go from libby from yet Another Library#there’s just too many books in this world that I want to read#yes I have a problem yes I’m aware of that#no I’m not going to address it we’re just going to keep lurching from book to book until eventually I have read the 30 I have at home and 3#I’ve got requested and 5 on libby. one day I’ll read them all
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My biased, really unpopular take is that I think rit/su/maya is an objectively boring ship.
#just to be clear I don’t hate it there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the ship it’s just such a nothing burger to me#like ok yes without a doubt Maya has a crush on Ritusko absolutely this is backed up by canon material#but from Ritsukos side the most the viewer comes away with is that Ritsuko holds mayas skills in decently high regard#a few moments of friendly chit chat and that’s it#it would be one thing if we actually saw Ritsukos more personal opinions on Maya but we never see that so fandom has to fill in the blanks#and now barring that all aside it’s just a ship dynamic even when fleshed out in fanon that im not intrigued by#in a show where the characters are so messy and terrible the ship feels so out of place#ohhhh Maya could fix Ritsuko NO she could not#the only way I could find the ship interesting is if you get weird with it#like focus on the inherent power imbalance of a boss and an employee how would they deal with that?#how would things change as the show progresses and Maya realizes Rituskos blurred morals#how would the ship work with Gendo in the picture? how would Maya actually help ritusko overcome her issues and deep rooted problems#and even with all that being said it’s just not interesting to me#Maya doesn’t have enough going as a character for me to care to ship her with Ritsuko#this is partly why I like misaritsu so much#you know so much about their individual characters and their dynamics that it’s easy to expand it further into hypothesizing#their relationship in a romantic light#evangelion#like misato and Ritsuko are individually super well written fleshed our characters and on top of that put in moments like the elevator scene#or Ritsukos flashback to talking about when Misato hooked up with Kaji for a week#or just every time Ritsuko looks at Misato if you really want to reach#there so many moments of good characterization between them that it’s so easy to ship them#the point I’ll give to ritsu/Maya is that the one sided crush is 100% intentional and implied in canon#Misato and Ritsukos relationship (as far as I’m aware) was never intended to be romantic or queer coded or anything like that#i’m not delusional#I don’t think anno or sadamoto was writing subtextual nuclear toxic yuri when they were thinking about Misato and ritsukos relationship#no one was in the writing room saying “oh boy I can’t wait to write subtext about how comphet Ritsuko is in unrequited love with Misato”#I’m not that far gone but purely from a potential ship perspective misaritsu has so much more going for it#asu/rei too that’s another super interesting f/f ship that people ignore#asurei isn’t my do or die ship but that’s a ship that’s genuinely super interesting to think about as a potential romantic relationship
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no but imagine... hunter with highlights 😳
#all the bad batch’s problems would be solved if hunter just pursued a shampoo modeling career instead of them sticking w cid tbh#the bad batch fanart#the bad batch#hunter bad batch#yes I’m aware I’m in the middle of my IALS but all my subjects are either 50% or 100% so wdc!!#star wars fanart#star wars#enbyenjy#tbb#YES I also know he’s not supposed to have the red scarf w the s1 armor but who cares#personal hc maybe he’s just a red tv stan so he has the scarf#hunter tbb red taylor’s version stan ftw!!😼#star wars the bad batch
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About to go on my Rebecca Bunch arc, but first I need a Greg…
#I have my Josh#and yes. yes I am aware of all the problems.#I promise I know#I’m being delusional on purpose#crazy ex girlfriend#wouldn’t mind a Trent either at this point…#I’m only on season 2 so if any of them do anything awful in season 3-4 idk about it yet no spoilers
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