#yes I know OP was talking about minecraft but let me have this

[memento-mariii]

you didnt put a nametag on your boyfriend and he despawned. sorry.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: get ready for the hate.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The tunnel lights up ahead of you, revealing the cubic rock walls as you plant torches in your stead. The eerie soundtrack of night time and the ominous groan of zombies looming somewhere in the cave have you uptight. Silently, you press on, digging and mining mindlessly, fingers mashing the buttons on your controller. 

“Hey, where are you?” Jacob’s voice startles you. 

You nearly forgot you’re playing co-op. You sniff and shake your head, cursing aloud as your shock has you succumbing to the arrow of a sneaky skeleton. You sigh as your possessions scatter and you spawn back in your bed. 

“Back home,” you say glumly, “just ate it.” 

“Ah, damn,” his deep voice rolls in your noise-cancelling headset, “sorry, hope that wasn’t me.” 

“No, I wasn’t paying attention,” you hum and sigh.  

“Ah,” he accepts and lets silence linger before he clicks his tongue, “what’s going on? Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you put the controller down, your avatar sitting on the geometric bed, “I just...” you stretch your neck and massage your scalp around the thick band of the headset, “got a lot on my mind.” 

“Right. I thought you were all done exams,” he says. 

“I am, but... packing. Going home. I called my old boss and turns out I’m not gonna have a job this summer. Gotta start over,” you yawn and rub your eyes, “what about you? Final exam tomorrow?” 

“Uh... yeah,” he hesitates as if he forgot. You do wonder why he isn’t cramming right now. You could never play minecraft all night the day before a final. “Easy stuff. I’m not worried.” 

You scoff. You wish you could say the same. All you’ve done is worry those last two weeks. Exams, getting home, getting a job. Your grandmother won’t very happy to find out you’ll be slumming it for a while. At least you tucked away some money through the semester. 

“Hey, if you need a few bucks...” Jacob offers. 

“What? Are you crazy? No way,” you exclaim, “really, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. I just... I hate looking for jobs. You know how it is. Friggin awkward.” 

“It’s not a big deal. My dad sent me my birthday money so...” 

“Uh uh,” you deny him again, “that’s way too much. I couldn’t-- we haven’t even met.” 

“Mm, yeah, about that,” he exhales into his microphone, “I, uh, got an extra ticket to this Con. I figured out that’s it like the midway point between us so...” 

“A con? Oh, wow--” 

“Yeah, but I get that it would be expensive so maybe I could pay for your trip?” 

“Jacob,” you wiggle the controller restlessly, “I can't accept that. It’s so nice but... it’s a lot.” 

“I wouldn’t offer it was too much,” his voice is soft, meek, and defeated. You feel bad but you would feel worse taking advantage of his kindness. “We’ve been talking all year. I just figured it would be a good chance to meet up. It would be in public and something we both like so...” 

You scratch your neck as it speckles with heat. You don’t know what’s more insulting; yes or no. 

“Can I think about it?” You ask thinly. 

The line is quiet. You look at the screen and it goes dim from your idling. You hit the analog stick and fix your headphones. 

“Jacob?” You murmur. 

“Sure, think about it,” he says, his voice raspy and rocky. It’s strange. You’ve seen him in pictures and his voice doesn’t really match his appearance. He sounds a lot older than he looks. “It’s next month so lots of time.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cringe. “I just wouldn’t want to waste your money.” 

“Trust me, it wouldn’t be a waste,” he insists, “this last year has sucked. So much. You got me through it all.” His microphone scuffs, “studying, exams, all that stuff. It’s tough making new friends. Seems like everyone here knows each other from high school.” 

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.  

You’re not exactly the most popular person. You have people you know in each class but not too many friends you hang out with outside the lecture hall or library. So far, not too many people want to spend hours mining digital gold or racing cartoon characters around a rainbow track. 

“Well, you should probably get some sleep,” you yawn, “you got your big exam and... I gotta keep packing. Gotta catch the greyhound tomorrow night.” 

“Sure, uh, yeah, right,” his disappointment is potent, “hey, will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it.” He snorts, “god, I sound like my dad right now.” 

“Oh, of course,” you chirp back, “I’ll try to remember. Might be late.” 

“That’s fine. Just as long as you let me know.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, “not ‘til I have to face my grandma. Ha.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he says, “well... er...” 

“Good night,” you finish for him, “let me know how the exam goes too.” 

“Will do,” his timbre gets even lower, “night.” 

You sign off and shut down the console. Another yawn flows through you and waters in your eyes. You should sleep, you got a long day waiting for you, but you know it won’t be easy. Not with so much on your mind, not least of all, Jacob’s invitation. 

🎮

You text Jacob as you get on the bus, to make sure he doesn’t worry. It’s so sweet that he does, even some of your girlfriends don’t bother that much. Not that you mind the ‘hey, bitch’ Janet sends you every now and again to make sure you’re still alive. 

You fall asleep on the bus. You’ve never been one to sleep while travelling but you’re exhausted from a night of anxious tossing and turning. After spending all day packing up the last of your things and scouring your dorm room, you’re beat to hell. 

It’s midnight as you get to your grandmother’s house. She’s up reading another Stephen King classic in her rocking chair. She’s always been a night owl and a voracious book hound. She grumbles at you but doesn’t bother to ask how your trip was. 

“Hey, grandma,” you hike up your bag and smile.  

She growls again, eyes not leaving the page. You should know better by now not to interrupt her. You shoulder on and head down to the spare room where you spent most of your high-school career. You shut the door gently as the old hardwood floors creak with your weight and you drop your bag on the squeaky bed. 

You fish out your phone and plug it in as the battery flashes red with only two percent left. You leave it on the night table and stretch out, not bothering to change out of your hoodie and jeans. It’s not long before you descend back into the same dreams that marked your journey home. 

You wake up to buzzing. Your phone shakes the nightstand, rattling it against the bed frame. You groan and roll onto your side, reaching blindly for offending object. You hit the side button to dismiss the call.  

You blink away the bleariness and focus on the screen. Along with the missed call are several text messages. You squint as you expand the notifications. Jacob! You forgot to message. 

‘Hey, you home?’ 

‘Checking in. Must be busy getting settled in. Just let me know when you’re safe.’ 

‘Not meaning to be weird but everything okay?’ 

‘Please answer me. I’m worried.’ 

You drag your thumb around the keyboard, letting it predict your words; ‘sorry! I was so tired. Home now and safe 😊' 

Three dots pop up then swoop away. You frown as the same thing happens several times before a response appears. 

‘Was really worried. Thanks for finally answering. Been up all night.’ 

You’re stunned by the terse response. Yeah, you forgot to answer but he doesn’t need to worry that much. You frown and shift onto your side. 

‘Srry again. Tired. Talk in morning. Night.’ 

You turn your phone on silent and plug it back into the cord. You do feel bad but you’re too exhausted to let it keep you up. Besides, you need your sleep. You have lots of job hunting to do in the morning. Not to mention, your grandmother to face. 

🎮

You let Jacob cool down after your return home. Rather, he doesn’t text and you’re too distracted to do the same. As much as you’d like to sit around and game, your grandmother was as disappointed as you expected with your employment status, even when you gave her the money you had left in your emergency fund. 

After a week, you finally get a bite. It’s nothing special. There’s a seasonal ice cream shop in a booth shaped like a vanilla cone that needs a cashier on weeknights. It’s less than full time hours but it’s better than nothing. It will be strange working with high school juniors but you can’t afford to be picky. 

‘Game tonight?’ The text interrupts your first shift. You don’t have a chance to answer as a family approaches the window to order. 

You get them the soft serve and take their payment, bidding them a good evening with their vanilla points already drooping in the summer heat. You glance around at the mostly empty picnic tables. Soccer practice will end soon and you’ll be overloaded with eight-year-olds. 

‘Srry. New job. 1st shift. Maybe tmrw.’ 

‘New job? Congrats. Why didn’t you tell me?’ 

You sigh.  

‘Time got ahead of me.’ 

‘Same. Catch up tomorrow then. Minecraft?’ 

‘Sure. Tmrw.’ 

You slip your phone away. A mother and daughter approach and ask for a sundae and a banana split. As much as you love ice cream, working with it hasn’t tested your cravings very much. In fact, you might be falling out of love with it. The smell of vanilla and overly sweetened strawberries is kind of gross when it’s all you breathe. 

As you watch the happy customers walk away, you smile. Maybe it will be good to get some mining done. It will take your mind off of everything else. Hell, it might even make you feel like you’re doing something useful. 

🎮

“Shit, oh, sorry,” Jacob corrects himself. You always think it's kind of funny how he doesn’t like to swear. “My diamond armor.” 

“Oh no,” you utter, “where are you? I’ll grab your stuff.” 

He gives his coordinates and you turn around, leaping over the green blocks to make your way there. Despite your reticence at the beginning, you’re feeling better about the session. He wasn’t as tense as he seemed in his texts. 

“So, uh, did you think about the con?” Jacob asks. 

“The con? I almost forgot. When is it?” 

He gives the dates and you hum. Your chest flutters at the thought still. You’re not stupid. Meeting people IRL is not like online, no matter how many hours you’ve mined together. As much as you enjoy chatting with Jacob, you don’t know about meeting up. 

“I get it if you can’t get the time off but my offer still stands to cover the trip. If you wanna stay the night, I’ll even get an airBnB.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot. I’m working now. I could put in,” you offer.  

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully. 

“I don’t know... I mean, I’ll have to look into it,” you say evasively. “Talk to my boss and grandma and all that.” 

“Right, right,” he tries to sound unbothered, “makes sense. Of course, no pressure. How about I send you the ticket either way? Haven’t got anyone else to bite.” 

“Oh, well, hold off, I wouldn’t want to take it and not use it,” you collect his weapons and armor from the ground in the game. 

It’s silent as you focus on getting every little thing. 

“Sorry, did I freak you out?” He asks, “I’m really not trying to pressure you, just got excited thinking about it.” 

“I know, Jacob, it’s not that, it’s just... a lot.” 

“Totally get it,” he intones, “let me know whenever you got an answer. Uh, where are you? I’m tryna find you.” 

“Just stay there, I'll come back to the house,” you assure him, happy to focus on the game instead. 

Still, you can’t entirely lose yourself in it. You’re sure he’s a nice guy. From pictures, he’s less than scary, and he’s never been anything but friendly. It’s not like the other dudes you meet online who jump to asking about your bra size and all that. It just isn’t smart. 

Well, maybe if you don’t show up alone. You know what con he’s talking about and Kara from Econ lives near there. You could probably convince her to meet up. Hm, that might work. 

Just like you told him, you’ll have to think about it. 

[ky-pup]

Introduction!

Hi! My name is Kai. I’m 23 and use he/it pronouns. I am bi, trans, and poly. Pre op but on and off T for over 2 years now. Almost always smokin 🍃

OF is up! I try to do small photoshoots and videos about once a week. Teasers will be posted on here as well! Teasers will be from photo sets that gets posted on OF. Any photosets can also be purchased through DMs and Cashapp. I also do custom content too! Message me for info about that

I looove being a cute little puppyboy and that’s what most of this tumblr is about but it’s basically anything I am into.

Yes - breeding, cnc, petplay, size difference, intox

Hard No’s - scat, vom1t, detrans/misgender, p1ss in mouth, age/play

If it isn’t a hard no, I’m at least willing to try.

DNI - homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist. MIK/MAP. Under 18

Names you can call me -baby boy, prince, pup, puppy, kitten, slvt, etc. as long as it’s not super feminine

Also feel free to ask any questions or message if you wanna be friends! Would love more subby puppies to be friends with and be horny with

$kyluc8

Non horny about me under the cut!

I have two partners, one who I live with and the other (I know you’re reading this XD so stop lurking and message me on here ;) ) is long distance for now. I also have a cat named Louie who I love with all my heart XD

I am autistic. This makes me very awkward and hard to keep conversation with. Don’t let this stop you from talking to me. I’m just weird XD

My current hyperfixations are trolls, fnaf, tadc, and greys anatomy. I also like stuff like Minecraft, the owl house, hazbin, pokemon, miraculous and a lot of other shit. Music, I mainly listen to stuff like pierce the veil and motionless in white but honestly, my main playlist is all over the place

Thank you for taking the time to actually get to know me cx I am high as shit writing this so props to you for getting through it

[talekinesis]

I remember as a kid, I was born an only child, and I used to wish I had siblings so I had someone to play with and hang out with

And everyone kept telling me "No you don't, my siblings are awful," "No you really don't, we fight all the time,"

And then I got 4 brothers, and honestly

I was right

I was FUCKING right, this is such a better life than being an only child (personally), I was so lonely back then, and now I have a 17 year old who violently drags me through the kitchen for pretzels that I had first, and I still would not go back to being an only child

He throws things at me and calls me a loser, and I'd still fight a war for him

I've got a 19 y/o who doesn't talk to me much but he still brings me McDonald's and we play pokemon together (even though he's on team In-stink, but we can both agree that Valor is the worst and we team up against them)

I don't talk to my other two brothers much because they live with my dad in another state, but my immediate younger brother, who's 20 now, got me into Minecraft and fps games because we'd play Black-Ops Zombies together all the time when we were kids

And yes, of course we fight, of course they drive me crazy, but I still wouldn't go back to not having brothers at all, I'm so happier like this

And yeah I guess you could argue "They're step brothers, it's not the same as having siblings since birth,"

But even though we didn't always know each other, we still met pretty young and grew up together. I met two of my brothers when I was 11 and the other two when I was maybe 12

I met D and R when I was 11. R was also 11, and D was 13 or 14.

I then met my other two brothers, Re and A. Re was 9 and A was 11.

We're all now adults, except for Re who is 17 and approaching adulthood, so we did still grow up together

I can't remember what this rant was originally supposed to be about, it just turned into a brothers appreciation post

Not that I'd ever let them know that lol, A still makes fun of me for even having tumblr

[mayuzumiiis]

I forgot to send you an ask about my ship ask game you reblogged from me😭😭 I’m gonna cheat and give you a blank check for it, your favorite ship or a ship your really into rn🖤🖤🖤🖤

Ope lmao I also forgot to send you an ask about your ship game so I'll do that after I answer this!

Okay let's do this thing! Uh... let me do it for... oh, fuck it, OC ship. @lawfulgay's Felix and my Tragedy!

Who does the laundry: They both do, but Tragedy is better at remembering it needs to be done.

Who makes the bed: Tragedy, most mornings

Who sleeps on the right and who sleeps on the left/do they end up in the middle curled around each other: They start the night with Felix on the left and Tragedy almost in the middle on the right. By morning, Felix has gotten himself on top of Tragedy

Who likes cooking dinner but who ends up cooking dinner more: Tragedy loves cooking, but Felix tends to have more energy by dinner time.

Who buys the snack foods: Felix

Who keeps the grocery list: Tragedy; Felix goes grocery shopping based on vibes most of the time

Who adds silly things to the list and does the other gets it for them: Felix; and yes, Tragedy does typically get those silly things for him

Who has an obsession with water bottles/travel mugs: Neither, really? They certainly have a lot of mugs, though. (Ah, the joys of being a court wizard and a highly sought after doctor)

Who has an obsession with hats: Felix for sure; Tragedy's horns don't usually lend to comfortable hat wearing

Who likes camping gear but hates camping: Neither!

Who likes stickers: Felix, 100%

Who likes tea and who likes coffee: They both like both!

Who prefers cold drinks and who prefers hot ones: Tragedy prefers hot drinks; they soothe his throat better. Pretty sure Felix also likes hot drinks

Who hordes blankets and who just likes putting on socks when they are cold: Who needs blankets when your Tiefling husband is a walking furnace? (Felix does still hoard blankets when Tragedy isn't around, though)

Who prefers spring/summer and who prefers fall/winter: I'm not 100% certain on Felix, but I know Tragedy likes Autumn and Winter for the cooler weather

Who gets obsessed with something random on YouTube (what it is): YouTube doesn't exist in their world, but Felix would get obsessed with those crazy Minecraft Redstone machine videos

who likes podcasts (what they listen to) (this will be kinda limited to what I watch): I feel like Tragedy would enjoy a podcast like Sawbones... he'd also like spooky shit like The Magnus Archives

Who has a tumblr: Felix

Who has a twitter: Also Felix

Who reads fanfic/if they are famous who has read fic about themselves and who judges the other just a little bit/do they ask people to not write fic about them: Felix is probably the bigger fanfic reader of the two of them, but he always convinces Tragedy to read something weird at some point lol (they both read Oliver's fanfic about their author friend, Shin)

I know this is very "you have to know these characters to understand what the fuck I'm talking about", but I got decision paralysis and was thinking about D&D haha

[snezhnayansnow]

More One Piece!

Watching Dressrosa now...

I'm sure my husband is getting hella sick of me lmfao

But in all seriousness... One piece's number one rule: women are useless!

It doesn't matter how cool, how op, what the power is, how strong, how hyped up they are...

Women

Are

Useless

And it's killing me!

I won't even talk about the designs of the ladies but let's list our Dressrosa beauties:

Violet (Princess Viola) - to save her father she becomes an assassin for the Donquixote Pirates. That's so rad! She ate the Glare-Glare fruit (now the ocean hates her) which gives her these amazing clairvoyance powers and shit. She was going to fight Sanji till she was moved by his dedication and ability to see through her. She didn't want to work as an assassin, she wants to save her Kingdom! What a total badass! And then as soon as she joins the Strawhats... Useless. A man had to remind her to use her powers to locate the Tontatta Princess, Mansherry... And now she's nothing more than a pair of binoculars to watch the split up Strawhats. After she FOUGHT SANJI and FOUGHT TO SAVE SANJI! Did we forget about the whale tears? What the fuck!?

Rebecca - What a woman! Even though the whole country hated her, she entered the colosseum. This woman wanted to win to save her country so she could live peacefully with her dad friend! And even though I hated the fact here's a girl that's gonna fight but doesn't wanna hurt people... This bitch stuck to her guns like a fucking champ! She didn't hurt shit and is such a good dex fighter! Holy fuck!!! Of course she lost to Sabo because ya know...... But she joins forces with the Strawhats to save her Kingdom from the Donquixote family. And since she doesn't fight she's now useless........... Will we see more of her? Can she keep rolling those saving throws? Who cares! We'll know she's gonna be useless till one of the men comes along to save her...

Kuween (The Manager) - Here is a woman dedicated to her job! She is THE MOTHER FUCKING MANAGER of the smile factory. And she takes her shit seriously! Her weapon of choice is a... Vacuum? Okay... Um... Vacuums are cool I guess. She can suck up all the escaped rebellious Tontattas, who are slaves at the factory. Yeah she's a bad guy but what a girlboss taking so much responsibility and pride in her work! SUPER!!! Oh no, yeah wait, my boi Franky took her out with a hug and a kiss. Lowly virgin Kuween got played at the absolute MAN POWER of the pervs, Franky and Senor Pink. And is now useless... Like a Hallmark channel movie lead roll, giving up her job because of some useless man. Smh.

Giolla - a super scary art teacher looking mf with a passion for the avant-garde! This lady farts art with the power of the Art-Art fruit (and now the ocean hates her). She turned Chopper into a Minecraft character lmfao. Hilarious! The fact fluffy Doflamingo trusted this old woman enough to get on the Sunny and take the kid and the scientist is amazing! Mango do be trusting his crew! And she would have gotten away with it too... if she wasn't so full of artistic passion and let Brook sweet talk her into art... It do be like that. How come this ugly old broad was the best one yet!?

Baby 5 - yes that's her name, Baby 5. Why? Idk yet, probably some dumb backstory like abandoned by family or something (just finished episode 692: The Struggle with Pica — Zoro's One Finishing Move). However, look at her badass devil fruit... She can turn any part of her body into any kind of weapon using the Arm-Arm fruit (and now the ocean hates her). This bitch turned into a bomb, a fucking bomb, exploded and put herself back together. Fucking rad! So we know she can nuke a place and live. Her downside- she is a female Sanji. Some guy says something and she has to help him... It's sweet. Probably linked to that backstory and wanting to prove she's useful or something... Idk. I know a lot of ladies dream of being a bride and wife one day. So we're really playing this up, but this is totally screwing with her badass abilities. Another Hallmark movie lead roll syndrome claims another op woman... I also wanted to point out, when she fought Franky on punk hazard, changing her upper torso into a gun... She looked like a gun, but last episode fighting another character she changed into a rifle with tits. Are you fucking with me? The gun had to have tits suddenly. I fucking hate this show!

Sugar - the most useful one here, and here's my theory: she's not a woman "yet" but a child. So since since we can't slap tits on her to make her useless, she's more useful. Even though her devil fruit powers stops her body growth so she'll always be stuck with a physical appearance of a child, she's still not perceived as a woman, aka not perceived as useless! With the Hobby-Hobby fruit (and the ocean hating her) she's been turning all the citizens, not citizens, Navy/Marines, and anyone one else that gets in floofer Mango's way into toys, which some how also makes people forget about them. Weird flex, I still don't get it, but okay. She's only stopped by Ussop trying the spicy grape challenge... Which I would have been too. Ussop was fucking terrifying (get that man some milk). But just how useful is she? Well since we saw her freaking out from dudes with long noses and long noses shaped hot dogs... She got some PTSD. So even though this bitch can fight the Tontattas by matching their speed, which is crazy, and can literally make the world forget about you and turn you into a slave for the Donquixote Pirate family, we know how this is gonna end. She'll be rendered useless by some stupid Ussop long nose face thing before she can do any damage to the Strawhats.

Princess Mansherry - Who the fuck spelt her name? Idk, she's in the next episode so I got nothing on her yet except she's crying in the time-out room. Tontatta Princess, Mansherry, who Leo said was "selfish, mean, capricious, and short-tempered" and based on how she was crying for him to save her- bet this girl got a crush on that dude... Boys are dumb (but at least they're useful...)

Wicca - this Tontatta stole Zoro's sword! What a bad ass! We see the Tontatta's strength when she throws a tantrum while arguing with Zoro. And she has the balls to call Luffy, Zoro, and Kin'emon names, cuz they allllllll a special kind of stupid. And she had to put up with all 3 of them at once. Damn girl... And with all that strength what do we see her do? Absolutely nothing. She's become just another background Tontatta... Sad. After she had to do all that work to get Zoro to run in a straight line. She deserves better!

Bian (Pink Bee Squad Leader) - Yes, the Pink Bee herself. Why is she a bee? I'm not sure, I honestly can't remember if the anime said anything about devil fruit or something. Even though she has a title and a whole squadron bee-hind her, what has she actually done? She uhhhhh raided a ship to cause a distraction... And ummmmmmm spelt out some words to start a revolution in the smile factory so her Tontatta friends finally understood they've been tricked. But seriously, what has she done? We see more of that ugly ass beetle man, Kabu, the other squadron leader.

Acilia - omfg I forgot about her! I'm sorry QUEEN! A gladiator at the Corrida Colosseum and like one of 5 people that like Rebecca, this absolute unit of a woman throws her whole pussy into it every time. Honestly, barbarian to barbarian, this bitch serves cunt. She's strong AF and isn't afraid to show off some girly flair with all the cute hearts on her shield. She was fending off that Rolling Logan fool till Cabbage had to ruin it. And of course because Rebecca had to win (her saving throws are too good damn) our barbarian queen fell... But without her help, Rebecca wouldn't have survived. She was useful for one whole episode and that was pretty much it. You go QUEEN! I hope we'll see her again, but since she's such a side character I doubt she'll be showing up ever. You deserve better too, Acilia!

[rassvetsky]

this was incredibly beautiful so i have to share my noble opinions. op im in love with you actually

- he turns into a slut when he’s wine drunk btw

manslut. i won't comment on this any further

- HES A YOUTUBE GUY IDC 9 times out of 10 he’s gonna choose to load up a little minecraft youtuber and just get high or drunk and watch it

YES THATS SO ME OF HIM i can see this %100. taking off his face mask with his eyes still on the screen. rubbing the excess mask juice (?) on his neck and chest because every drop counts. giggling at the unfunniest little pieces of dialogue through the video.

- he loves cats but he like a high energy dogs, he’ll take his dog to a park and literally wear himself out too so by the time you drive home both he and the dog are passed out LMFAO

JAKE ON THE BACKSEAT W THE DOG JUST KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY because this mf doesn't let his body see the light of day. no peace until complete exhaustion. expects to be carried to his bed like a princess too because "well id carry you if it was you in my position"

- if it’s gonna stress him out he’d rather die than play it

this is also very me of him actually. am i spiritually jake seresining. i can actually see him playing american truck simulator and shit too with a full blown wheel set and all just living his trucker dreams without the consequences <3

- he does random little vocal noises sometimes that are similar to a cat going “mwerp?’ if you know what i’m talking about you’ll agree

and then accidentally does it in front of his friends because he's so used to you not reacting to it and has to like. blackmail them into shutting up about it.

Stupid Headcanons About Jake “Hangman” Seresin

(u can accept these or not all i know is they’re true bc he’s in bed w me rn and he told me)

slight nsfw warning for random stuff throughout but nothing explicit <3

- he loves silly cringey cliche nicknames :3 sugar plum, honey bee, sweetiepie, poptart

- in regards to that last nickname it’s bc i fully and wholeheartedly believe

- and know

- that when he is subby (THIS MAN IS A SWITCH YALL) he likes to be called kitty :3 no i’m not projecting what the fuck

- anyways

- he gets called poptart bc he refuses to let the word kitty be uttered in public around him so poptart it is bc of nyan cat :3

- i’ve put some thought into it why do u ask?

- he loves dolly parton

- and old school miranda lambert, like “gunpowder and lead” to “mamas broken heart” era miranda

- he’s actually a bit of a country fan but it’s not pop country does that make sense everyone

- he loves those sea salt and vinegar chips but only the kettle cooked ones

- WINE LOVER

- only likes sweet red wine tho :3

- he turns into a slut when he’s wine drunk btw

- he will get home, unwind, do a silly face mask and put on a robe, and then turn on the most annoying loser youtuber you have ever seen

- HES A YOUTUBE GUY IDC 9 times out of 10 he’s gonna choose to load up a little minecraft youtuber and just get high or drunk and watch it

- i want to smoke with him. that is all

- he’s a giggly high/drunk, he just constantly laughs and is lovey dovey and :,)

- he’s a dog person

- he loves cats but he like a high energy dogs, he’ll take his dog to a park and literally wear himself out too so by the time you drive home both he and the dog are passed out LMFAO

- he refuses to play un-relaxing video games

- if it’s gonna stress him out he’d rather die than play it

- stardew, animal crossing, that new disney game i cant remember the name of! he also like organization games like that unpacking one, he will settle down and play for hours

- HE IS BISEXUAL.

- DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME OK?

- night showerer

- he’s the type of guy to have ur post notifications on but never like or comment and when you ask him abt it he’s like “oh i just like to see when u post :3” like ok?? support me???

- jealous easily but never toxic, does that make sense??

- you’ll be talking to someone and he materializes and goes “SO IM THEIR BOYFRIEND MY NAMES JAKE IM REALLY BADASS AND SCARY.” like relax king the cashier is not trying to fuck me

- he’s a switch :3 i already mentioned that but it’s true

- he gets bed head like crazy

- he does random little vocal noises sometimes that are similar to a cat going “mwerp?’ if you know what i’m talking about you’ll agree

- doesn’t even mean to do it it just happens

- the most romantic and sentimental mf in the universe

- expect anniversaries and birthdays and holidays to be The Biggest Deal to him especially as an official couple

- the handsomest baby girl ever :3

- anyways that’s all i can think of rn so. enjoy.

[hangezoeenthusiast]

You failed me

multiple x gn!reader

word count: 2,524

warnings: cursing, yelling, arguing, death, angst, blood, explosion, the egg (it deserves its own warning)

synopis: you guys failed me(us)

(the lyrics go with each person, might not get everyone, and also xd’s part is kinda wonky)

song: rät by penelope scott

I come from scientists and atheists and white men who kill God They make technology, high quality, complex physiological Experiments and sacrilege in the name of public good They taught me everything, just like a daddy should

Quackity, Karl, George, and Sapnap left you. Your mentors, your friends. The ones who taught you everything you knew. They went to build their little “Kinoko Kingdom” while you stayed in the ruins, the dust. “They’ll regret that.” you swore. You built something better, something greater.

It was called “Las Nevadas”. A place where everyone was allowed. They would remember not to fuck with you. They would soon realize that they should watch their back for the rest of their short, stupid lives.

“Watch out, you guys, I'm watching your every move.”

And you were beautiful and vulnerable and power and success God damn, I fell for you, your flamethrowers, your tunnels, and your tech I studied code because I wanted to do something great like you And the real tragеdy is half of it was true

Wilbur majorly fucked up. He was supposed to be with you to the end, your guys’ country, right? No. He left you behind. He went to find peace, find his heaven, while you stayed on earth, wallowing away until your flesh seeped off your rattling bones, rotting away by yourself, with no one to bare witness.

“Why didn’t you bring me with you Wilbur?” you asked his stupid grave on top of the once L’Manburg. “Why did you get the ecstasy, why do I get the remains?”

“I’m coming for you Wilbur, and when I do, we are going to wreck upon justice on everyone who wronged us, wronged you, they will feel our wrath.”

But we've been fuckin' mеan, we're elitist, we're as flawed as any church And this faux-rad West coast dogma has a higher fuckin' net worth I bit the apple 'cause I trusted you, it tastes like Thomas Malthus Your proposal is immodest and insane And I hope someday Selmers rides her fuckin' train

"Y/n!" Technoblade yelled. "I TRUSTED YOU, AND YOU BETRAYED ME, FOR WHAT, TO BLOW UP A STUPID COUNTRY, A COUNTRY THAT WAS DOOMED TO FAIL FROM THE START." He started to battle you, missing every single swing, blinded by fury.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE.”

"LOOK AT ME GODDAMN IT."

You looked up at him in the eyes and boldly said, "No, Techno, don’t you see, you’re in the wrong here, you’re the one who betrayed me." You were blinded by friendship, you couldn’t see that Tommy had betrayed Techno, and that what the Butcher Army did to Techno was terrible.

"What do you mean Y/n, you know what they did, they wronged me, they used me, they tortured me, they gave me hell, so I gave it back to them, I destroyed the things they loved, the people they loved, you see Y/n, those who have treated me with kindness I will repay that kindness tenfold, and those who treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends, I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over, do you understand?"

"No I don't, Techno, you can't do this.” you begged. He pushed you out of the way, "Get out of my way Y/n." “No, I won’t, I won’t let you destroy everything we worked for.”

“Well, then I have to fight you.”

And thus the battle began, Swords clashing against each other, blood spilling from open wounds, friends digging each other into a whole both of them couldn’t get out of. Techno was letting you off easy, he knew his strength, he knew that he could’ve beaten you in one swipe, but he didn’t want to kill you.

So when you had the opportunity, you swept from under his feet, and knocked him down. You placed your blade onto his neck, pressing down until a little drop of blood appeared, “Stay down Technoblade, or I’ll do something worse than try to put you on trial.”

He watched as you walked away from him, trying to save L’Manberg from a worst fate than death itself.

“One day Y/n, you’ll see, I’m on your side.”

I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true I wanted to be you and do what you do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I feel so stupid, and so used I feel so used

"Why would you do that Dream? You didn't have to do that." you interrogated. Dream had stupidly blew up the community house. You both didn't plan that, he had gone behind your back. "I had to Y/n, you wouldn't understand."

"What do you mean I don't understand, you went against my back, we were supposed to-" you cut off yourself, "Dream, don't you understand, you did something stupid, and what did you get, you got stupid jail." "The reason I did that is because I needed to isolate myself from humanity." he said, proudness lacing his words.

"What do you mean?" you questioned. "If anyone knows I can revive people, I'm screwed, so that's why I need to be by myself, yeah it sucks major ass, but at least no one else will know, well, besides you anyways." "I have a task for you Y/n/n, I need you to find a way to bring Tommy and Ghostbur in here."

"Why Dream?"

"I'm going to revive Wilbur."

I was your baby, your firstborn, the hot girl in your comp-sci class And I was Darwin's prep school dream, bred, born and raised to kick your ass I fell for circuit boards, rocket ships, pictures of the stars If you could only be what you pretend you are

"PHILZA MINECRAFT COME BACK HERE." you were chasing Phil, through the woody forest, covered by oak trees. He had information on Technoblade's whereabouts and you needed it. You chased him with your enchanted netherite armor, netherite sword and axe, and a few op potions. Your goal was to capture Philza and interrogate him on where Techno's place was. The thing was, you were his child. His own child trying to kill his own son.

He felt betrayed, his own child turned against him and their brother, their family. "The Butcher Army must've gotten to you somehow." he thought in his head. Surely, his darling Y/n didn't do it on their own will, right?

He was incorrect, you did it because you believed that Techno needed to be brought to justice, by punishment. You believed that your own sibling needed to die, because he was a "liability" to L'Manberg's growth and future. He needed to die because as long as he would live his long life with his little enderman Edward, retired, he would still cause trouble to everything you, Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo had built.

He pleaded, "Stop Y/n, you don't have to do this." You argued, "I do Philza, as long as he lives, my plans for L'Manberg will forever cease to exist."

He felt like shit, you called him Philza, not Dadza, or Dad, or anything besides his normal name. "Did I screw something up?" he asked himself quietly under his breath. "Yes you did Phil, you took the traitor's side." you had heard Phil mumble.

"HE'S NOT A TRAITOR." Phil yelled at you. "Yes he is, he deserves what he is about to get, I will say it again, where is his base?"

"I'm not saying, Y/n, why are you doing this, Techno is your own sibling." "He's not my sibling anymore, that stopped when he destroyed L'Manberg, you're lucky I forgived you." you declared.

"Y/n/n, please don't do this."

"I have to Dadza, I can't let him roam free."

When I said take me to the moon, I never meant take me alone I thought if mankind toured the sky, it meant that all of us could go But I don't want to see the stars if they're just one more piece of land For us to colonize, for us to turn to sand

Bad had tried to convice you to join the Eggpire. You had no effect while being next to the egg, and he had to take you out. People who had no effect towards the egg had to be eliminated.

He was creepily following you, waiting until you stopped to get a chance to capture you. He had hope that you did have an effect, that you would join the Egg with him. He didn't want to kill you, you were his best friend, besides Skeppy of course.

"Come back here Y/n." he said. "No chance in hell Bad, get the fuck away from me." "HEY, LANGUAGE!" he exclaimed. "No language, get away from me, you're creeping me out."

He threw his trident, spinning in the air, trying to catch up to your frantic steps. You were trying to get to Church Prime, where no one could kill anyone, hopefully Bad would abide to that rule. You were just about to step on Church Prime when you bumped into a hard, armored chest.

You looked up shyly, and saw Punz, with his red eyes reflecting anger. "Where are you going Y/n?" he questioned. "Somewhere." you blankly stated. You were desperate, you didn't want to die, or anything else that Bad was going to do to you. You tried to dodge Punz, but he placed a hand on your shoulder, "Stay right here Y/n."

"No, get away from me, I don't know what's wrong with all of you, but go away, I don't want anything to do with your stupid Eggpire." He raged, and grabbed your wrist heavily, "DON'T TALK ABOUT THE EGG LIKE THAT, IT WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THE SERVER, AND YOU ALL WILL BE ITS SERVANTS." "LET ME THE FUCK GO PUNZ." you screamed. You were wiggling in his grip, trying to escape his lunatic self.

While he was holding you, you saw two other shadows behind you. It was Antfrost and Bad. "What do you guys want from me, I didn't do anything wrong."

"You are against the Egg Y/n, people who are like you and Tommy have to die."

"Well, I'm not dying today." you murmured under your breath. "What was that you said?" Antfrost asked you.

You smirked, "I'm not dying today, I'll tell you one more time, let go of me."

Bad and Antfrost walked closer to you, Punz right behind you, all of them cornering you into a tight spot. "What you going to do about it Y/n, you're cornered."

"You'll know when they get here, but for now, you better run boys."

'Cause we're so fuckin' mean, we're so elitist, we're as fucked as any church And this bullshit West coast dogma has a higher fuckin' net worth I bit the apple 'cause I loved you, and why would you lie? And then I realized that you're just as naïve as I am Oh, you're so traumatized it makes me want to cry

"Tubbo, don't do this." Schlatt had unfortunately found out that you were a spy, that you were on Pogtopia's side. He had ordered Tubbo to kill you with fireworks, to light you on fire, give you blisters all over your body. "Please Tubbs, you're my friend." you pleaded.

"I can't Y/n/n, or something worse will happen." he whispered to you. "What do you mean?" you asked. "He can-" he trailed off, looking somewhere else besides your eyes. "Tubbo, you don't have to do what that stupid bastard tells you to do, you're your own person, with your own thoughts and actions."

"I'm sorry Y/n, I hope you can forgive me."

"TUBBO N-" you was cut off by firewords hitting your skin, making blisters and burn marks all over your body. You lost your second canon life, feeling betrayed by Tubbo. He killed you for what, a stupid father who never cared about him in his entire life, a father who exiled his friends that actually treated him like a person, and not like some random piece of trash.

You respawned in your bed, feeling bruises and bumps mostly on your forearms and your back.

"I'll help you Tubbo, I’ll get rid of him.”

You dumb bitch I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true I wanted to be you and do what you do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I'm so embarrassed, I feel abused

“Come on Y/n/n, come with me.” Punz begged of you. He wanted you to visit the Egg. You didn’t want to be controlled by a stupid omelette. "I'm not Punzo, why are you so obsessed with that stupid thing."

"DON'T SPEAK OF THE EGG LIKE THAT."

You put your hands in front of you, accidentally touching Punz's chest, "Ok calm down buddy." He didn't calm down and instead yelled at you on why you had to join the Eggpire.

"If you join, you will be forever happy."

"If you join you'll get whatever you want."

You were tired of the members of the Eggpire to convince you to join them, you didn't like eggs anyway. "Punz, for the last time, I'm not joining you, stop telling me."

“Then you have to die.”

So fuck your tunnels, fuck your cars, fuck your rockets, fuck your cars again You promised you'd be Tesla, but you're just another Edison 'Cause Tesla broke a patent, all you ever broke were hearts I can't believe you tore humanity apart

“XD!” You were pissed at him, he had destroyed your house, made your friends pissed at you, just everything you liked. All because he wanted you for himself.

He wanted you to be dependent on his every word, and he was being a manipulative psychopath. And you didn’t tolerate that, it was like he was his human counterpart, Dream.

He walked to you with confidence, waiting for to get a hug from you, well, he didn’t get that. You slapped him so hard his head swung to the left.

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

“That’s what you get you stupid son of a bitch. You fucking ruined everything.” “Calm down Y/n/n, what is wrong?” He acted concerned, but you knew that he was faking. He would do anything to get someone’s approval.

“DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S WRONG, IT’S YOU, YOUR STUPID PRESENCE IN MY LIFE. YOU KEEP ON WALKING AROUND LIKE YOU FUCKING OWN THE PLACE.”

“Calm down darling, just take some netheri-” you interrupted him by slapping the ore out of his hands. “I don’t need jack shit from you XD, you know what, take back the necklace, I don’t want it.” You pulled the shiny, green emerald necklace off your neck, and pulled XD’s palm out.

You placed the necklace filled with memories, and put it on his hand. You closed up his palm, and walked away, leaving XD to his own accord.

“We could’ve had evertything X.”

[yourfavouritetragedy]

I was adding onto the DSMP Actor AU post, but it turned into Wilbur musician AU, haha rip me, and I only know SBI anyways so here’s a separate post. (It goes back to actor AU at the end.) It’s hypothetically still in the same universe though, and obviously inspired by it. If anything’s phrased weirdly, it’s cuz this was originally an addition to that. 

tbh I kinda adhered to their IRL careers too much compared to the OP but whatever it’s fine. 

Also frick the “Dream SMP” for not having a better title lmaooo

Wilbur is an indie artist really on the come up

Your City Gave Me Asthma was pretty good for a first release, popular with both new fans and fans of his acting.

He had starred in a short mystery/thriller-ish series that started off disguised as a normal sitcom: Chilly in Lincolnshire {Editor Wilbur ARG}

It had a prominent release because of Jack Massey’s involvement and previous fame, but production was abruptly scrapped before it tied everything up with a bow on top, so to speak. It’s still unclear if this was actually planned in order to tell the story the way they way wanted. 

Even before that, critics had mixed reviews, either applauding the storytelling and acting or calling it “irrationally confusing, an amateurish attempt to box unconventional storytelling into a conventional medium.”

Also SootHouse was a sitcom that achieved a cult following during the two seasons it ran before cancellation. Either you’re a fan or you’re never heard of it, and people constantly forget Wilbur was in it. 

(He was a few other old shows on his resume too. Wilbur always focuses on the newest project, so everyone always forgets about what he was in before.) 

Maybe I Was Boring EP was initially just bonus tracks on his website, but his fans liked it so much he gave it a wider release

In between, he had a few comedy songs go viral on youtube. Everybody was so confused when they realized it was the same Wilbur as musician/actor Wilbur. He laughed about it in an interview, saying “How many Wilburs do you know?” 

That’s when it came out that “Wilbur Soot” was actually a stage name. (”Ha, fair, only one.” “Make that zero-- my name’s not really Wilbur.”)

He kinda disappeared after that?? Didn’t do anything, really inactive on social media. It was semi-confirmed that he was both working on his mental health and prepping some stuff (music, auditions).

But anyways he just released a series of singles, combined into Digital Love {E-girl trilogy}-- he’s transformed his image yet again, but this time he does take ownership of all his past ventures.

The release of Digital Love bridges the end of SMP Earth and the beginning Dream SMP. 

But before that there was MCC and the other stuff.

They are shows where celebrities team up do stuff-- you know the type 

but Minecraft Monday is still inexplicably Minecraft Monday. Some Youtuber just managed to get all these up and coming celebrities to play a Minecraft tournament. 

And that’s where the Sleepy Bois (minus Tommy) met IRL so that’s where they meet here. 

SMP Earth, like Minecraft Manhunts, is also a former show they were on. I’m going to call it World Domination. Don’t @ me; I know that’s trash lol. 

They and the Dream Team met up because of their shared fanbases and were even talking a crossover, but it didn’t really work that well for the stories so they scrapped it

They make a non-canon cross over episode anyways {no IRL equivalent, I think}

Everybody loves the cons. Everytime there’s a con, five friendships are made and eight ideas are created. 

Techno backstory time

He’s done a lot of long running, though not exactly popular, serials and sitcoms: Blitz, Survival Games, and Sky Wars. 

Winstreak: 1000 {Bed Wars 1000 winstreak} was so popular they made a second season, but it never got as big as the first. He worked nearly exclusively with Hypixel Studios. 

He was doing lots of random content for their new Sky World universe {Skyblock} -- the small studio was big on experimentation -- , when a fictional documentary, The Great Potato War, went proper viral. 

They made two sequels WHILE he was doing those celebrity team challenge shows and then World Domination, and they were actually good sequels.

Got a reputation for being shallow and a sell-out, but he makes a joke of it so much he gets away with it and constantly self-promos.

Also a kinda scary to work with for the first time because of how single-minded he can get, but once you realize how socially awkward he is it’s okay.  

Now that’s he’s in a lot of stuff with worldbuilding, he practically has the wikis memorized. 

Tommy mainly did limited series and movies before World Domination, where he met the SBI.

He’d had been a fan of Wilbur for a while, and was super star-struck at first, but got over it really quickly in his Tommy style

He still is a total fanboy at concerts and whenever a new music video drops. “I’m friends with the guy! I know him, Wilbur Soot!” “Tommy, you’re famous too.” “Yeah, cuz I’m practically in the video!” “No--” 

Wilbur takes Tommy to one of his concerts and he’s so hyped the entire time, especially to go behind the scenes and on the stage. 

Sometimes he gets stressed about the pressure of being a child star, but Techno, Philza, and Wilbur promise to stand by him and they make him feel protected 

One time Wilbur’s drunk and almost hands Tommy a drink before swearing and going, “You’re a bloody child! You can’t have that! God, what would Philza think?” Tommy’s not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. 

Philza laughs at the story and actually lets Tommy try a little in a more controlled, responsible situation. Tommy texts his mum first, and then hates the drink anyways. (”This is rubbish! I am a man, but I’m not drinking this!” Techno: “Alcohol is disappointing. I drink orphan’s tears instead.” “Techno WHAT--”)

Philza had been the star of a zombie apocalypse show: Golden Core 

He did canonically die to a child zombie in the movie version. Yes, they made a movie version of the TV show, because the Golden Core franchise actually has had many other shows {other hardcore series}. 

Everybody tries to get the child zombie props near him because of that (they’re puppets)

He’s done a lot of other things, like in the original actor AU post, but none of them came close in popularity. 

He gives the rest of the SBI the knowledge he’s gained from being in the biz for so long. 

There’s also a running joke about SBI meaning “Spy Boys Incorporated” and them starring in a comedy spy movie

The fans would very much actually like this to happen. There’s so many fanons for it (maybe I’ll write one....) 

Back to the DSMP. Maybe I’ll call it Dreamland or smth. 

Wilbur constantly asks Tommy if he’s okay after any difficult scenes

Especially when they were hanging out together a lot in the exile arc.

All the brother scenes were cut because Wilbur kept breaking down and crying in them.

Sometimes people actually ask Techno and Tommy if they’re actually brothers. Tommy tries to go along with it half the time on the basis of “it’s be funny,” so there’s a subset of casual fans that genuinely don’t know. 

After Alivebur was killed off, Wilbur was going to leave the show to concentrate on his music

But he missed the SMP and hanging so much that he just showed up on set one day saying “I’m a ghost now,” and everyone just rolled with it

Alivebur was so popular that, seeing that Wilbur was willing, they decided to bring him back for Season 3. He’s been avoiding doing heavy scenes, but he still seems really invested and like he wants to come back to the show.

Wilbur talks with Techno about writing and lore a lot

it’s one the few times Wilbur actually seems like the older one

Wilbur attempted to get a D&D group going in the cast, but the show was already close enough, with the amount of improvisation they can get by with

Tommy’s Pigstep cover happened, but the background was Philza clapping barely in time with just Wilbur on bass instead (and of course Techno’s “BAHP”s)

It was a charity stream. They had put on their costumes (clothes only) for a previous goal. 

This one was simply called “We rap.”

Some people were almost disappointed that Tommy was the only one actually rapping, but he was so funny it made up for it. 

Okay I spent the whole morning on this and it got way too long but I think I’m finally out of ideas. sorry haha hope you enjoyed! ^_^

[atomsmoon]

Dsmp Olympus be like:

DreamXD

Most recognized and old god on the server, at first because of his powers and protection of the Holy Land... then he started showing up just to simp for the British Mushroom guy and he lost all of the intimidation factor.

Has a creepy voice lately does anyone know wassup w that?

He's around fairly often.

WILL show up if you try to set up a table on an ancient looking portal OR if you call him a homeless teletubby.. go ask Techno about it.

People are either chill with him or don't want him to show up cuz that means trouble.

Drista

Definitely the most powerful AND most chaotic.

Dream's (and DreamXD's?) sister.

Shows up once every three months to wreck havoc and hand out a couple of impossible blocks.

She built an invisible staircase to fool people into thinking they can reach the sky (and mostly to make them fall down)

Signed her name in obsidian to assert dominance.

Her and Tommy are actually good friends (their allyship first started to piss off Dream, now they enjoy messing around on the server together c: )

Probably has a good relationship w Foolish, Olympus God buddies share shulkers c:

Foolish

Totem of Undying, the new guy on the block.... unless?? He's been around long enough to have a tragic past as the Totem of Death.

He can pew pew lighting.

Apparently him and Eret go way back? Either that or he knew Herobrine 👀.

He's oddly letting himself be pushed around by two minors with a piglin child but hey at least they will pay him.. right? Guys? gUYS?? (Oh also don't comment on the chandelier it's a sore subject).

Is the tallest mf on the server reaching 27ft.. no wonder his builds are so massive.

Has recently entered a love triangle between Ponk and Sam... someone pray for him, he needs it.

Callahan

Probably the most elusive god on the smp.

He never talks. Ever. Everyone loves him nonetheless.

Sometimes reaches out as <Server> in chat or he shows up with his Captain America and Reindeer outfit.. (i like to imagine him binging Marvel movies in the Olympus when he's got nothing else to do, which admittedly is most of the time)

Was at the site of Tubbo's nuclear test.. sightseeing?

He's the one to call when something's wrong

Generally the best

Deserves the world

Ok we love him moving on

Philza Minecraft

Was called the Angel Of Death once upon a time

He lost his wings to protect Wilbur from the L'manberg explosion... dearly misses flying.

Oooold friend of Techno, some stories say they ruled an ice ridden land called The Antarctic Empire

He's technically NOT immortal but Ageless aka he can die but he's always been too cool for that

His vibe is being done with everyone's shit, just don't mess with the people he loves.

People say he's the creator of the game. They are right. This is the truth now.

He's also the person everyone yells for for IT Support... ?

His only weakness are Baby Zombies, do not ask him about it.

Egg

Egg (evil)

Now onto the: GODS *?*

Technoblade

People chant "Blood For The Blood God" but his story is very confusing and complicated, is He getting the blood for the blood god or is he the Blood God himself? Nobody's sure but Everyone knows not to fuck with him.

He actually hybernates for several weeks on end, trusting Philza to look over him.

Has a thing for wither skeletons

Possibly old as hell (see long ass friendship w Philza)

Confusing and conflicting information about his nature, some say he's a straight up pig, some say piglin, some say he's a hybrid or wearing a mask... more info needed

He can and will kick Dream's ass

... still owes him a favor tho rip.

ERET

Immortal person too??

Herobrine/ Herobrine's descendant???

Idk fam everyone just thought "this normal dude has weird eyes" then Foolish rolls around and now the questions rise in number by the second

Is a Queen nonetheless

BadBoyHalo

Demon guy

Once said he's immortal till his best friend dies... now... he took one of his lives... *it's complicated*

Actually a nice dude before he got possessed by the evil egg.

Can fix weird problems with the servers cuz console access making him another person to yell for.

Mainly just hangs around in the main area talking about muffins.

Now...

I imagine Callahan and Drista mainly chilling up there, only occasionally swinging by to check what's going on. Foolish and Phil always enjoyed hanging around on the server, building and travelling respectfully. Eventually they all ended up in the same place, who's to know if they ever met eachother in their long lives.. (yes phil and foolish give us crumbs please it is an invitation).

Everyone else is more of a demigod entity to me (apart from bbh because i do entertain the thought that everyone who has op on the server is secretly a god BUT that would make Awesamdude a god which hMMMM, but also philza would be a demigod which kINDA MAKES SENSE because he ISN'T in fact immortal- imma stop myself)

Ah and DreamXD just followed Dream around till he got stuck in the prison... oh well.. more time to simp ig  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[growling]

ah fuck it ep10 too. though i still havent recovered

saw him again at the intro. fffuc k j.....

THERE HE IS AGAIN

CHEERING AND CLAPPING GO GET HIM CHUUYA!!!!!!!!

I am loving this Chuuya on screen AND Dazai getting his ass handed over to him at the same time AND by Chuuya. let's GOOOOO

there is a lot of (2 actually) instances of like. Chuuya referring to themselves/or getting referred to by Dazai as "lady" or "girl" in which case.......... if that specimen is cisn't in some way my opinion just might skyrocket even more

bad news: I can hardly pay attention to what is currently happening because Chuuya is on screen

you've pissed Chuuya off :((((( look what you've done to them.

I am 100% on Chuuya's side go obliterate that het devil. We can hate him together..............

poor Chuuya sighing emoji.....

"my dream right now is to commit double-suicide with a beautiful woman, so being kicked to death by you wouldn't make me happy in the slightest" oh so Chuuya isn't a lady in some way after all?? :((((((( OR DO YOU NOT THINK THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL???!!!!????!?!?

nevertheless. i don't care. I have already decided Chuuya is some flavor of multigender already . and I know better . heheehehehe....... and I'm gonna start switching Chuuya pronounce now too because I have decided that. she/her'ing & they/them'ing be upon ye

Chuuya don't blush (and that gayass pose)... Chuuya you do not want that..... baby *cups her face in my arms, sobbing* w-who hurt you? who hurt you to make your standards s-so low??? *breaks down frantically stroking Chuuya's hair*

he's so cwuuute big eyes emoji im on laptop im so sorry

scene change. hello atsushi.... hello edogawa..... hello kyouka...... i guess........... sigh.

I guessed that it's just a flesh wound lmaooooo

edogawa stop traumadumping you're making the hoes horny i mean . i mean i sympathize

save her!!!!!!! :333333 save the kyouka!!!!!!!!!!!11 <3333333333 wooohooo

i promise that any time i type 1 after the exclamation marks im not doing that ironicall ythey just sort of show up there because i mistype or whatever?????? anyway ive been deleting them so far but you know i m gonna stop i think lmao. 1 be upon ye

gas leak. staring. staring.

staring very intensely.

staring.

they are staring.

luckily, i've still got my creature prepared

what is edogawa's problem with atsushi lmao

battle of the creatures. yes i did notice that all three of them (edogawa, atsushi, kyouka) have various similiarities whether in abilities or implied backstory i just didn;t feel like mentioning it before. lol. lmao. society if they put aside their differences and created a beautiful minecraft server working together

im liking this fight scene :))))))) its cool :))))))))

similiarities.. similiarities~ similiarities~

its just a scratch he's gonna be fine

edogawa angst momence. let him have this just for a minute just let him have this-

ohhhh he's jeawous........

DAZAI IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT HUH IN THE END IT ALL ACTUALLY COMES DOWN TO DAZAI HUH. I WAS CORRECT..... I WAS SO CORRECT ALL THE TIME....... DEATH TO DAZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S ALL TEAM UP AND MURDER HIM

It's just a scratch he's gonna be fine. he'll be running in no time

edogawa let's go to my place sometime. we can talk about it........ mybe fix you or something......

unpopular opinion: but I actually really like it when characters are OP if it's done well. Atsushi being OP is done well. Rampo being OP is also done well. Let characters be a bit jacked in the superpower area

nooooo edogawa :((((((( i don't think he's gonna die now but im still gonna be sad he got thrown into infinite water nightmare pit

ONCE AGAIN IT'S ALL DAZAI'S FAULT. HERE IS HOW EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS COULD BE FIXED IF WE JUST TOOK DAZAI OUT, by me:

yayy :)

do not pan to dazai. whatever you do do not pan to dazai.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"the guild" damn Yokohama how many dubious organisations you got

and that's it :)))) woohooo!!!!!!!! yippieeee!!!!!!

you know what. you know what. watching bsd since I heard so much about it (mutual osmosis (hi)) yet absolutely nothing at the same time. like who the hells this dazai guy and whys he kinda..... anyway episode 1

so sad how atsushi died of starvation in the first 5 minutes. guess show's over....exit theatre.

"you should kill yourself NOW" the hell did this guy do be declared public enemy number one of all orphanages. how many did he burn

atsushi's out for fucking BLOOD i wanna see him fail cringely and die of an infection curled up under a juniper bush. why does he run like that

is that the. dazai jumpscare

i knew this man for like 2 minutes and i desire him carnally

jesus fucking christ i need his pussy so bad. i am going to fuck the screen. i need to do unspeakable things to/for this dazai guy

not even listening to whatever they're saying im just hyperventilating over the prettyboy before me i could treat you so good dazai. i don't care about your morals or potential atrocities dazai pPLEASE just let me fucking hit. pick me. pick me. PICK ME

supernatural detectives AGAIN?

he did the =D !!!!!!!!

i don't think im in the right headspace to watch this scene while dazai backshots on my mind rotting my brain preventing me from forming critical thoughts or acknowledging reality. good lord this scene that should have been m

i too love bullying children for their subpar grind and googoogaga mentality

he did the

..........ooo is he the tiger. I also believed his story was questionable never trust an orphan

furry

although on further inspection..... oh no im sensing some vivia similiarities in dazai which might DRASTICALLY decrease his attractiveness to me if it keeps up..............

"im not into hugging men" oh fuck off ill fucking make you im going to make you die a crack addict and drop your corpse in a pigpen go fuck yourself guess im not allowed to have anything huh. my way or the highway boy pick one. this show fucking sucks i hate you

nevertheless. i will carry on as usual

dazai kill yourself

i will fucking stab you beat you or hurt you in some way. i will destroy your life i will render you unable to look another man in the eye ever again

go fuck yourself. not like i care. i don't care stop i don't know what you're talking about i DO NOT care im not. im not. im gonna break that dazai fucknut's femurs in a cold cruel non-erotic way he's not even that pretty im over it. im over us.

im gonna fucking shred him

[sapphire-innit]

DRISTAAAAA TIMEEE

VOD: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream’s Sister AGAIN

(rp): Drista!! I love this chaotic child and am looking forward to seeing the children bully each other lmao. I especially love the mythos around Creative mode, and that the most benevolent god on the Dream SMP is just as likely to ban you as hand you a shulker box lol.

I do wonder how in character cc!Tommy is going to be able to stay during this stream: on one hand he’s a master at staying in character even during lh moments, and on the other Exile arc is some Dark Shit and Dristas like what, 14?? Overall I expect this to be one of the lighter streams, with a smattering of moments where we remember that, oh right, Tommy’s pretty actively suicidal at this point and he sees this as one of his last hurrahs.

Speaking of our boy Tommy: it's very clear we are getting closer and closer to the infamous pillar. He switches rapidly between Fight and Fawn reflexes and has mostly internalized Dream’s treatment and conditions at this point. The one stand out moment being him calling out Dream killing Mexican Dream last stream, and pointing out he was changing his story even when Dream tried to lie and say he died of “a drug overdose [...] or natural causes”. I’m curious if Tommy is going to bring it up again, and even more curious if he eventually believes Dream about it; something to watch out for, for sure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this moment of rebellion happened right after he had someone both stand up for him and spend time with him that wasn’t actively hostile or going to end (supposedly, at least by intention)

Hey we didn’t start off drowning for once!! cc!Tommy was also singing, though that could have been mostly out of character as well. Still, remarkably in a better mood, he even mentions having an appetite! You love to see it, and it's clearly because he’s looking forward to Drista’s visit

He’s building a log tower and on one hand, Tommy building Towers is a natural state of being, and on the other…. I know the pillar is coming and I am scared

A mention of the Anti-Dream hole… I still worry about when exactly and how Dream is going to find it. Still, I’m glad it exists, both for Tommy having a space for things important to him, as well as what it represents about his mental state re:not giving over completely to Dream

DRISTA!!!! LOL she was already online we didn't even see her join LOL. CHAOS GREMLIN she just flew over in creative mode and started wrecking shit, as is her right lmaoooo

“You massive jer--, (quieter) whats a nicer way…, YOU MASSIVE DICKHEAD” oh, Tommy..

I like how he tries to punch her even when shes CLEARLY IN CREATIVE MODE ADSADASD

The violence inherent in fourteen year olds,,,, adsfsadfsdfds

I hate this conversation why is this the conversation asdffdsfsd TEENAGERS

DREAM YOUR NOT EVEN A TEENAGER WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE SAME LOGIC

Well SHE can destroy the obsidian asdfsdfds She just Spleefs

“What would Dream do” Probably worse lets be honest

Is he actually gonna go back to L’manburg?? I don’t believe it but I also want :(

Again with the stabbing

AND DOWN HE GOEEEESSSS

“I have the fork, but I'm also killing you” afsafsdfdsf Tommy why are you wearing your good shit omg

Lol cc!Dream trying to defend his character for mocking Tommy’s accent adsfsdfds “I would NEVER” in the totally not believable tone lmaoooo

DID SHE REALLY GO AT HIM WITH A FORK I'M FUCKING DYING DSAFDADSFDS

“I will take it from you and I’ll kill him”... I have so many thoughts about how this works in lore. Is Drista possessing Dream? He can kick her out clearly, but she still has God Powers…

Lol and now SHES mocking his accent lmaoooo (... is it bad she sounded pretty close to me? lol)

Adsfdsfswd casual chaos Drista just broke the Nether Portal

Asking Drista to stop destroying things is a big ask to be honest lmaoo. Also she seems to be at least somewhat informed that ‘Dream is not supposed to be nice to Tommy’ or at least seemed hesitant to do /weather clear

GOD THE LAVA BUCKETS AND THE POTION OF HARMING adsfsdfsdf

“Tommy [beheaded him] actually… and killed Mexican Dream” Dream you motherfucker

“How to Sex 3” THE PANIK!!!!!! From Both cc!Dream and Tommy!!! This server is Not Child Friendly lol (Doesn’t…. That not even include sex things…. afasfsd)

Honestly I can’t stop smiling this is so wholesome somehow even with all the cursing and violence

Pigstep IS a bop, Tommy is right

“Just let him, just let him this one time” :(

“Tommy I still have the Fork” Drista totally willing to stab her brother to visit L’manburg

HE TOOK THE FORK ASDASDAS

Yes, closing your eyes will totally protect you from Forks lol

“I don’t need school, I dropped out” Is this Lore Crumbs, is this Lore

HEYYYY ITS THE BEDROCK, the one piece of bedrock he has lol, I think he still has that in current day right?

Drista is writing her name in BEDROCK adsfsdfds “I’m not going to be able to get rid of that actually” “That's the Point”

LOL SHe also recognized the burrito as from Mos lmaooo

Somehow “I really want to go to the other place.. I don’t know why he won’t let you” hit hard… it was def ooc, and she doesn’t have the full context, but still… its just someone else wanting and asking for Tommy to be able see L’manburg…

Afsdfsd the Small Gasp when she spleefs herself omgg

HES THERE!!! HES THERE!!!!!! L’MANBURG!!!!!!

Punz!!! WHY!!!! Were you there bc Drista might let Tommy through, was this a safeguard for the LORE. Also he’s currently working for Dream directly right, as a merc?

Drista trying to save Tommy!!!! Punz why are you winning a fight with someone in creative adfsadfsd He’s too good lol

They have negotiated a visit… I’m so emotional I wasn’t expecting this…. No one told me we got a real L’manburg visit !

BIG Q SHES FOURTEEN!!! Omg they didn’t tell him it was Drista. BIG Q!!! BIG Q DON’T SELL HER DRUGS

“He was Naked” good for you Drista, good for you. There’s something so hilarious about Drista just stabbing Quackity over and over again cause she’s uncomfortable lol (as is her right)

LOL THE FINAL KILL WITH MAGIC WHEN HE’S ALREADY DROWNING IM

Wha --- what video was it????? What is this Tommy picture on the Technoganda???

….”are you sure I’m allowed here” Dream’s conditioning is strong :(

“At many minute I could get mugged” To be Fair Tommy, that was true before

Did Tommy just suggest spawning in a Wither asdfsdfds

DRISTA DOG ARMY!!!! Aww and Tommy has one too~

THE BENCH!! THE HOUSE!!! Aaaaaaaaa He’s sitting on the bench nature is HEALING

AAAAAAAA A BLAZE!!!! Pfffft

…. Who destroyed the front of Tommys house?

,,,,Drista what are you doing with that soULSAND

“OK we'll turn on him” adsfsdfsd

OH HEY TECHNO!!! Lol “Oh god he meant me” fucking mood big man

……. Tubbo hallucination……… fuck

LOL HE COMBAT LOGGED “YOU CALL THAT COMBAT” I'M

To be fair, logging against a /kill is probably the only way to get away lmao

…...F

“Getting thrown off a cliff is literally how Theseus died!!” lol its also hilarious to me that Tommy def does not remember being called that. Personally I don't think it fits him super well anyway, but I do like it as something Techno calls Tommy, that shows how much he misjudges Tommy's character and intentions. No heroes here, just a kid trying to do good by their friends and what they care about

Techno actually looking up how to kill someone in creative mode

…. :( I just want my actual clingyduo content this is meeeeannn

OH HEY TECHNO …. You fucker he would and it would be HILARIOUS (get mad if Drista opped Techno that is lol)

….

….

IS THIS WHY THEY’RE BEDROCK BROS????? BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE DRISTA BEDROCK??????????????????????????

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ???

LOL TRUE DUO SUPREMACY TUBBO’S GOT TECHNO'S BEDROCK

Oh F Techno got him with the Obliterator lmaoooo

“I have 114 levels PLEASE” asdfdasfsdf

LOL Tubbo with the TNT there's our nuke boy, I'll take my crumbs where I can get them

THE SHULKER HOLY SHIT

“Don't let someone get it!!”” ADSFDSAFSDFDS they all tuRN CC REAL QUICK WHEN THE SHULKER BOXES COME OUT

Awesamdudes like: MORE PLEASE AFDASFDSF

Techno immediately snitching about Elytra and dRISTA GETTING THE ACHIEVEMENT

EVERYONE SNITCHING IN CHAT I'M!!!! DREAMS REACTION ASDFSDFDSF

Drista being the chaotic giver of illegal gifts is so fucking good I'M THRIVING

THE RUN ON PUNZ !!!! omg

Also can we just take a minute to appreciate Tommy being allowed around people <3 <3 This is so wholesome and good and chaotic as all hell

“I thought I was Tom Cruz for like a whole week” ...TOMMY??

LOL SHE BANNED TECHNO OMG

Dristas on a banning Rampage afsdfsdf

BAN GOGGY OMGGG

Omg shes actually making a wITHER DASDASDFAS

Oh no poor Tubbo I didn’t know he was liVE

319k viewers jeezus

Awwwww Techno hyping up Wilbur's song :) that's so sweet actually

…………….Fuck you Dream :( saw the chance to Twist the Knife in c! And TOOK IT

LOL THE FUCKING FORK IS THE BEST BIT LOLLLL

Lol ironically the Bedrock bros song is the oNE COPYRIGHTED ONE, god why did Minecraft ever copyright Pigstep what a shit move honestlyyy

Pigstep fucking goING TO TECHNO LOLLLLLL “this is the most powerful item on the server since it DMCA’s people”

LOL PUNZ TRYING TO STEAL ANOTHER SHULKER

Poor Sam he actually has to BUILD give this man a SHULKER

Lol Everyone wants a shulker so much

….aww he tried to toss the pigstep disc lmaooo DRISTAS LITERALLY HOLDING IT Scaaaaaammmmed

Drista “I NEED IT ON HAND” So committed to violence !!!

The fucking creepers on the way out omg fuckign PERFECT

LOL TOMMY WASN’T READY FOR THE TURN AROUND ON CURSING LMAO You can tell he's always been the youngest who people aren't sure how much they can curse around lmao He's so soft honestly he talks such a big game and then CRUMBLES when called on it lol

Asfdsfs she fell through the same hole again afsdfsdfsd

Drista has been introduced to a Weapon and she’s gotten ATTACHED lmaooo

Wait HOLD THE PHONE Dream has multiple sisters??? Lol

“Yeah I like Shit” Dream: “whAT???”

Bye Drista it’s been nice!!! I hope she had a good time, she seems like a good kid (who is definitely not a content creator lol though she keeps up admirably)

Drista’s one of the few people who can make Tommy speechless lmaooo he looks actually shocked lol

Also first mention of GhostInnit…. cc!Tommy…..

Keep preparing…. Was his original plan to rush Dream even if (maybe especially if…) he died? Fuck man

Also holy shit was this stream right before Quackitys? ? amazing

This was honestly such a BLAST and a really good time, and I can see why its viewed as one of the few breaks we get during Exile :) I feel so refreshed and it was so so nice to have Tommy hanging out in L’manburg having fun with his friends (even if Tubbo was stuck being a Hallucination and Also Banned lol) No deeper insight, I just haven’t stopped smiling for an hour and a half <3

[z-1-wolfe]

Parhelion Headcanons (sir this is all for you) @greenbeany

Putting 'em under the cut because they got very long O.O

I- the gnome is Neon I take no criticism. They are often good-natured souls with a more mischievous side, and if that doesn’t describe Neon I’m not sure what does. Playful, funny, good intentions, that my good Bean is our lovable cat personified. Okay Parhelion dnd au with gnome Neon please /j.

I AM SMACKING THE GUN OUT OF YOUR HANDS [runs into a glass wall] dammit,, guess I gotta talk now

I- oh no,, time to fail the exam I guess (turns all your head canons upside down)

Okay they do sleep yes they do. Actually that’s a lie only Ciel sleeps, the other two are insomniacs. Ciel has all of her day to day life planned out to the minute, so she heads to bed at a certain time and wakes up at a certain time, the other two are more of a “we’ll sleep when we’re tired” kinda duo. Unfortunately due to Ilia’s night terrors and Neon’s ADHD they almost never rest. No they do not sleep in a SANE bed, ha why would they have a bed? They sleep in a hammock all tangled up with each other. It’s hard to tell what order they sleep in when they kinda curl into each other. They do not use a duvet, why have a duvet when Neon is a space heater? There are no pillows on the hammock X). OKAY THEIR ROOM, THIS I GOT, it’s a funky mess that is somehow organized thanks to Ciel. Ilia doesn’t own a lot in general but it was her life’s dream to paint her bedroom rainbow so guess what they have now. The other two are too soft and they supported her efforts and they love her despite her poor design sense XD.

I- why closet ASDFG I mean— No they do not share a closet they all have completely different fashion sense and if that was all in one place people would be genuinely terrified. But since they’re broke they had to make do with one walk in closet that they partitioned off into sections. YES THEY DO HAVE MATCHING OUTFITS THEY ARE SO CUTE LIKE THAT. They tend to be like those cute couple outfits with a few variations to match their own personal style. But their favorite matching outfit are these duck hoodies they own courtesy of once again Ilia living out her childhood dreams. No they don’t own many outfits because like I mentioned earlier they are broke x). Hmm thinking about each other’s styles… Ilia think both of her girlfriends have great taste, she loves the well, neon of Neon, and the prim and properness of Ciel. Neon just doesn’t care XD. And Ciel is just, she’s just standing there wishing she could help their fashion sense, but she holds back because “It does suit them in an odd way.” Ciel gets the most compliments on her style hands down, she looks organized and you can bet she saves money to buy outfits that actually accentuate her cuteness. They don’t wear makeup no time for that (in which you learn Z has little to no knowledge in how to apply makeup and doesn’t know how to answer that question)

OH OKAY I LOVE VIDDY GAMES. Ciel likes real-time strategy games because she’s insane and that’s literally all she knows in life thanks to being raised in an upper class family in Atlas. Neon likes open world games, something something she likes the chance for adventure and determining one’s fate for themself. Ilia has never once played a video game until after she defected from the White Fang but I can see her playing something light like Stardew Valley, low stakes kinda games. Hmm, they might play Animal Crossing together? Since it has aspects they all enjoy. They each have an individual switch (Ilia has a coral switch lite) and one shared PC. Okay game with most hours, maybe Minecraft? They still haven’t beat the enderdragon because Neon keeps getting distracted XD. Neon is the bomb at party games though, you can bet she has a perfect score on all the songs in Just Dance. Ciel is a sharpshooter, god knows who taught her how to shoot like that. The biggest splatoon fan is unfortunately not Neon it is Ilia, she loves all the colors in the game ^^. But she and Neon have wracked up quite a few hours in co-op.

Uhhh books!! Ilia likes fanfics :) it’s unfortunately one of the only ways for her to see positive representation of herself. Neon for some reason reads Epics?? Like her favorite is the Epic of Gilgamesh what is up with that?? Ciel reads webtoons :), she reads enough serious stuff for school work and such, she likes to just kick back and relax after all that. Yes they have schedules reading time courtesy of Ciel :). Uhh, they relax by baking together. None of them had many chances to indulge in sweets while growing up so they make full use of their time now. ?? SPOON?? Cuddle hours happen on a whim, the one thing that Ciel can never schedule because she never knows when it’ll occur. They relax the most in the kitchen x) because that’s where they bake, it’s not unusual to find Neon asleep on the counter while she waits for their sweets to rise. They read in the light, Neon is afraid that by reading in the dark that they’ll all ruin their eyesight. Ciel likes the sunrise because she’s up the earliest and is the only one to see it, the other two prefer sunset because that’s usually when their day is about to begin XD.

Favorite spot for dates! The park ^^, they like to go on picnic dates with all their baked goods. There is no plan, usually one of them will randomly pull the other two out of the house because they haven’t touched grass in a while XD. There are no ideas, they share one braincell and they spend too much time doting on each other to use it. Uhm favorite movie genre,,, they like comedy movies :). Their favorite place to eat is this tiny store on the corner of their street that makes mean gyros, they heccin’ love them. Coping with horror, Ilia is desensitized to horror because of the things she’s seen in life, Neon treats it like a game because she knows it’s not real, Ciel, is okay with it, but she gets shook more easily than the other two and they often have to reassure her. No they do not like theme parks, there are too many people around for Ilia and Ciel and Neon respects their boundaries so they tend to go to more quiet places. Uhm heights, Ciel is used to heights because she’s friends with Penny and woah can that girl toss her in the air like she’s a couple of grapes. Ilia doesn’t mind heights but she would prefer to have her feet on the ground. Neon loves the ground so damn much if it leaves her she will cry because man she can’t roller-skate in the air can she, what will she do if the ground is suddenly gone? They like evening dates because it’s normally the only time all three of them are awake enough for it XD. They end a night by sleeping I am not quite sure if there are other ways to end it lmao. They absolutely despise Neon’s roller skating dates but they love how excited she gets about them so they end up becoming as good as professional roller skaters because the smile on Neon’s face when they join her is dazzling.

I am slowly going insane. Yes each girl has a hobby I sure hope they do. Ilia knits, Ciel paints, and Neon writes. I would like to imagine that Ciel would try to schedule time for their hobbies she ends up giving up because all their sleep schedules are wack. Designated chef is Neon (probably made food for FNKI back in atlas), designated driver is Ilia (I mean I like to imagine she stole cars and stuff in the White Fang XD), designated decorator for stuff is normally Ciel though Neon does try to hijack a few of her plans occasionally, designated shopper is Ciel because the other two have no concept of Saving money, and they all work together to clean :). They don’t work together, they believe in keeping their work life and home life separate to prevent their feelings from getting in the way. They do not have pets, none of them have the energy or responsibility to do that, but Ilia did once bring a moose home one day for some reason.

I am nomming on your arm sir. Ilia and Neon get along with Penny surprisingly well, though I do think Ilia would get along with Weiss better? Ruby and Weiss look at Ciel and see a beacon arc Weiss and more or less adopt her despite Ciel being older than the two of them. They might like.. play board games together? Like some of those more team based board games I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, may the best polycule win. I cannot see them in a cuddle puddle to be honest ajcnjsanjs I am so sorry— hmm Ruby and Neon do not know the meaning of formal, as far as they are concerned these are their girlfriend’s friends and that means that by extension these are their friends. Weiss would like nothing to do with Neon after Neon insults Yang during the Vytal festival but she begrudgingly goes on outings with her and hey, now they’re make up buddies for some reason. The parhelion gals take the fs gals to the gyro place they like :). Parhelion gang Is a lot more vocal on their dates because their love language happens to be words of affirmation while the fs gang’s happen to be physical touch. Both polycules are very very affectionate though I will die on this hill.

DARN IT TUMBLR ONLY LETS ME HAVE 10 IMAGES PER POST THIS IS FINE IT WAS JUST ONE MORE PROMPT DARN IT

(Parhelion angst! How do Neon and Ciel react to the news about the dust mine? How do they find out about Ilia getting expelled? Do they find out about the white fang? Is there any faunus stigma afterwards? How does Ciel react to people bullying her Faunus GFS? Does Neon talk to Ciel much after? Do they ever reunite? Does Neon attempt to help Ciel while she grieves Penny? Where the fuck is Ciel now? Is Neon still alive? Does Ilia ever think about them? Does Blake know about them from Ilia?)

BUDDY I CAME TO THE LAST ASK AND NOW ONLY DID I REALIZE YOU MEANT PARHELION BACK WHEN THEY WHERE IN BEACON THIS WHOLE TIME I’M CRYING. (This ask is answered under the assumption that they are already dating back in Atlas Academy) Ciel is fiercely protective of her girlfriends, though people only know that Neon is a Faunus because Ilia masks her traits during her time at the academy. Neon and Ciel are horrified about the news about the dust mines. They know that Ilia is a Faunus and that her parents were working there so they rush to see her as soon as possible. But they’re too late,,, Ilia’s already been expelled for attacking her fellow students. They don’t hear from Ilia for a few years after that and the two slowly drift apart, each blaming the other for not getting to Ilia soon enough. They don’t find out about the White Fang until they reunite with Ilia unfortunately, but they feel sad that Ilia had felt that they only way for her to get revenge for her parents was by joining a militant group (I’m working under the assumption that Sienna only took control of the White Fang shortly before Ilia joined). When Neon learns that Penny didn’t make it after the Fall of Beacon she hesitantly reaches out to Ciel for the first time in a year, and she does try to help. But for Ciel it’s blow after heccin’ blow and she pushes Neon away in a rage. Ciel leaves the Academy after that and goes rogue, working as a huntsman without a license for the poorer parts of remnant. Ilia is unaware of all this drama during the Beacon arc. The next time she hears of any news is during the Fall of Atlas, and she’s scared, scared because she’s still recovering and she just heard Ruby announce to the world that Remnant is under attack, and oh my gosh her ex girlfriends live in Atlas. Neon makes it out alive, though not entirely in one piece, she now has a prosthetic leg. Ilia is the first person to see her, it’s a tearful reunion and they haven’t fully made up yet, but hey it’s a work in progress, now they just have to find out where Ciel is, but when they do they’ll BOTH be there to greet her. Blake has no idea who the fuck Ciel and Neon are lmao, Ilia never told her anything about her past romances when she was in the White Fang.

Oh gosh I think that's it-- And that is it thank you for listening to me ramble about Parhelion you get a juice box for making it this far. Sir I am sincerely sorry for turning your ship upside down please forgive me.

[doctorsiren]

Ok. This has been bugging me since I watched it so I have a question. In baby hotline, what exactly happened in the first part? (Up until they meet up with Cleo) like I get the general gyst of it but I want to know Details (if you have them and if you’re willing to share ofc <3)

Okay I’m gonna die because I had like… half of this typed out and then Tumblr crashed on me and I lost everything I had written ;v;

But yeah I had to go back and watch the actual animatic again cuz it’s been a while haha

So basically, in the beginning, NPC is pretending to be Grian, and he’s hanging out with his best best buddy, Mumbo. Mumbo isn’t aware that he’s actually NPC, and he thinks that Grian’s just being really friendly.

But then, (NP)Grian starts acting strange. He starts alluding to his robotic-ness, and Mumbo starts to become uneasy. Something is wrong, and he can feel it.

Then, NPC reveals himself. He asks Mumbo if he wants to join him, become an NPC, become (in his mind) perfect. See, for NPC, he believed that Mumbo would say yes! Mumbo was his friend, and so he would definitely agree…

NPC’s never really had friends before. The only one who ever really cared about him was Taurtis. NPC was never taught how to love or even what love is since Grian never loved him.

Mumbo outright refuses. Now he knows that something is up. NPC has Grian’s gauntlet. And where’s Grian? How long has this copy been impersonating G? Mumbo wanted to be NPC’s friend, but now...he’s done something very wrong and Mumbo isn’t sure what to do.

NPC was not expecting Mumbo to say no. It catches him off-guard. No worry though. NPC has the gauntlet, and won’t take no for an answer. He *snapshoots* (hehe) Mumbo and turns him into NPC Mumbo Jumbo (AKA Mumbot). It was a split-second decision.

Now Mumbot is an NPC. He doesn’t feel quite right. He doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

NPC isn’t having the best time either. During the “Hotline!” Bits, he’s realizing what he did. He made a hasty decision, and he can’t just…go back from it. If he were to turn Mumbo back into a human, he would definitely throw him back in a closet. NPC was scared of being forgotten, so this was the way, he believed, it had to be. Also, he’s glitching. It’s not just an art choice, but an actual story thing. NPC was shut in a closet for around 4 years, and so he’s not up to date with the latest version of minecraft. His systems are outdated. That’s why in Part 2 (Touch-Tone Telephone), he’s confused and then afraid of the bees. He doesn’t know what they are since he was in the closet for that update.

In the next bit, NPC shakes away his bad feelings to look at his newly perfected friend. He’s a robot man like him! Mumbot isn’t fighting back anymore. He seems perfectly happy being this way! NPC tells him that, “hey look, everything went okay! What were you scared about?”

But then...Mumbot discovers his new powers.

If you’ll recall, NPC can teleport (he can fly too but smh that was too OP and I forgot that he could until like...Part 5).

Well, Mumbot can go zappy zap. He starts to show a sign of...what is that...evilness? Not quite, but it’s enough to scare NPC. Mumbo’s more powerful than NPC meant, and he’s not sure what to do.

NPC sees Mumbot and Robocleo and starts to think about his decisions. At one point, RoboCleo is holding Xisuma’s helmet (the one that Joe wore in Part 3).

We once again cut to NPC glitching and thinking about what he’s done

And then we get to Mumbot.

This is a really important thing actually. So, when Mumbot was near NPC, he acted strange. He acted the way that NPC wanted him to act, even if NPC didn’t know that’s what he wanted. This is because NPC is subconsciously controlling the NPCGang when they’re near him.

RoboCleo becomes his right hand man, Mumbot becomes his beeeest friend >:))) (smh NPC IS A SIMP FOR MUMBO AND SO MUMBOT IS A SIMP BACK BC OF THE CONTROLLING THING)

But now Mumbot was by himself. He starts to be able to think his own thoughts clearly. He starts to become depressed and anxious. He thinks that the real Grian must be dead. And that means Joe and Xisuma too. His friends...gone. Reduced to atoms.

And he starts to hate himself because he let this happen. He didn’t catch on early enough to stop NPC from doing this. He didn’t check in to see where NPC was.

And so he starts to cry.

But Jrumbot doesn’t like to see his papa sad. He runs in and tells his father that he still loves him. Mumbot looks at his baby boy and realizes that there’s nothing he can do, so he might as well make the best of the situation. So he takes his son to meet up with his other father, his brother, and his aunt.

So then, I know you said you meant to beginning bit, but whatever I’m doin’ the full thing.

So now NPC, Mumbot, Jrumbot, and Robocleo are sitting atop Grumbot’s head, vibing.

Smh look at them >:( stop being so cute /j

Since they’re near NPC, Mumbot and RoboCleo’s thoughts have been overridden by him and now they like him. He starts to talk about his anxieties and fears, but his two robot buddies reassure him that everything will be okay. They do this because NPC, deep down, wants them to. They obey.

NPC is telling them how he’s scared that they will forget about him or that they hate him.

Mumbot tells him that he would never hate him. That he would stay by his side.

(Also it’s really funny because someone told me that at this frame, they thought Mumbot and NPC were gonna kiss- AND LIKE THAT’S EXACTLY WHY I HAD TO HAVE THIRDWHEEL ROBOCLEO POP IN ON THE NEXT FRAME HAHAH)

NPC then gets his confidence back. He’s laughing and is fine.

But then the phone starts to ring.

Not a literal phone, but more of like...his consequences calling. He can’t run from them forever. He has to pick up the phone sometime.

And yeah! I hope that was helpful? I didn’t realize how confusing Baby Hotline was for people when I made it since I have the story in my head. Man, it’s nice to just...have somewhere to put this. But yeah. There’s a ton of lore and angst and stuff that goes on outside of the animatics that I don’t have the screen time to show sadly

BUT! Once I finish the animatic series, I will be writing it out as a full length fanfic, with TONS of extra stuff and like...full angst and character development. I hope that it all goes well haha

If you read all this, then I award you a choccy milk

[roxzania]

Pirde Minecraft Server (Early Sign-Ups Available)

Almost about a month ago, I made 2 posts about my Minecraft server builds for a pride server I created. That server was corrupted (because sometimes mods and online servers don't always mix well), so we had to scratch it. But we came back better than ever!

This server will be sort of private, but I'd like to invite a certain number of people so the server doesn't become insanely busy but still has things happen, ya know?. It's already 3 people (OPs), my sibling, my sibling's cousin, and me. And we might have a few friends join too, but I'd like to start with a max of 15 players.

Overall, I suppose I could say this server is like a roleplay? Of course, certain rules do apply even while in character. But we're here to make lore, story, fun moments, and probably a lot of chaos. So please consider joining!

More about this server below picture and continue line! [warning: long post, but please read if you are interested in signing up!]

For other players who are not OPs, we will have two modes to choose from throughout their adventure. Survival and Adventure. Each mode has its perks and downfalls, the main one is where they're able to go and do. Survivors get nothing in the wilderness... unless they pledge allegiance to an OP (or in our server, we're calling them gods). Which are considered Factions, which are three of. For each type of world (Overworld, End, and Nether). Adventurers can get anything they want, whether pledged or not. They have already made homes and limitless supplies, but cannot fight or build like survivors. Survivors cannot return (for the most part) to the main kingdoms or spawn areas, and Adventurers cannot be in survivor territory. A choice up to the individuals and they can always switch if needed.

Factions are like making an alliance but as a group rather than an individual. People can betray their alliance for another, or individually. Even if their Discord role says their faction they can still work for another. Until they commit treason, a faction leader (OP/god) will remove their faction role. Being in a Faction has perks and disadvantages, especially if you're a survivor (unless you are chaotic). You are gifted things by the Faction leader if you ask them things. And as a survivor, you can shift the alliance between factions depending on what you do to other factions (either as a group or individual).

Adventure areas are still being built and we're working out "the beginning" lore and stuff. It's going to be a process, but I welcome people who are willing to join ahead of time. Yes, I'm doing early sign-ups! But do make sure to consider this offer beforehand. We would prefer long-term people to join (it's okay if you get busy, just chat now and again with us), that way we can have a consistent story and not having people leave the server constantly. So, please please think about this offer before joining!

Sign-ups here: Early Roxzania's Pride Sign-up

I will be doing YouTube videos eventually about the server. Mostly lore stuff or builds. Maybe some survival? I'd like to do some survival on the server myself too. I have a lot of plans for this! It will eat up my time most likely.

There's a lot to consider in the future if this gets popular, mainly because this server is done through Exaroton and is paid through credits per hour it's online. And more people who are willing to join cost more to keep the server running smoothly.

Here's are some pics of the small builds so far;

Pictures are little weird, but I'm using a different PC from my regular at the moment. I'll be back on my normal PC in about a week or two, so I'll have to wait on YouTube videos and quality photos. But, I'm able to build, create lore, and talk to people.

Again, if interested please sign up! We needs lots of people to make this a kinda busy place! If your unsure, let me know through DMs here, I can add you to a waitlist if you are sure you'd be able to do it but need time to really think about it (or your busy and need a spot saved).

[ranger-report]

Review: Minecraft Dungeons (2020)

Picture this: an isometric action-RPG in which you play as one of multiple intrepid warriors, gathering loot and rare weapons in order to steadily progress through multiple worlds in order to stop a maniacal tyrant from ruling over a terrified land. What game am I talking about? If you picked any number of games, from Gauntlet to Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance to Diablo, you’d be right on the money, but this time we’re talking about Minecraft Dungeons, Mojang’s first foray into a non-creative Minecraft experience. Yes, there was Telltale’s Minecraft: Story Mode, but that was Telltale’s baby through and through. This dungeon crawling experience is all Mojang, with a little help from developer Double Eleven, and while the results are somewhat of an uneven experience, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable experience the further you get into it, ultimately to the point of obsession.

Let’s call it Baby’s First Dungeon Crawler. The game is as simple and straightforward as possible. You create your character by choosing their “skin” (read: skin tone and clothes all mixed into one), then dress them up with armor and weapons picked up on a daring quest to save Minecraft land from a vile king called the Arch-Illager. The Illagers are evil versions of the standard Villagers who populate the world, and they’re a little pissed at having been kicked out of good standing just for being themselves. Story means little in this game, a series of events strung together to create a sense of progression, and maybe there’s something here based on Minecraft lore, but to me it felt simply a means to an end: you need to know why you’re on this quest. Here you go. As villains go, the Arch-Illager surprisingly succeeds, a nasty little Napoleon of a ruler who somehow gained a magic wand from the Nether (Minecraft’s evil alter dimension) and so was able to rise up against the Villagers. He pops up at various points to conjure hordes in ambush, shouting “Nyah nyah!” annoyingly to the point where his juvenile taunts come to feel downright abrasive. You want to kick this guy’s teeth in, and it feels so good once you finally do...depending on the difficulty. But that’s getting ahead of things.

Opening up with a basic tutorial level explaining controls, Minecraft Dungeons then introduces Camp, where you and one of up to four heroes make your base between running through levels. Here you can practice your melee weapons and ranged weapons on straw dummies to see how they work before committing to a style. You can also purchase random weapons and gear (called artifacts) which you can equip. Weapons and artifacts can also be found during adventure, always at random Borderlands-style (right down to the Common, Rare, Magical, and Epic tiers), which is one of the most maddening aspects of the game. There’s no way to outright purchase gear that you actually want, meaning as you slog through level after level, gaining hundreds of emeralds to spend at camp, there’s a strong chance you’ll be abandoning a strong weapon in favor of something that’s simply at your actual level rather than what you want to be using. Minecraft Dungeons is an exercise in Letting Go Of Shit, in which you’ll be constantly switching up your play style because your gear, not your preferences, demand it. Adding to this is that weapons and armor can be enchanted, adding bonus stat effects. Higher level gear unlocks multiple enchantment effect slots, each slot allowing your to choose a stat to upgrade -- but again, each enchantment is randomized. Some gear have fantastic stats, which picking up higher level gear afterwards can result in terrible enchantments compared to what you’re currently using. Madness. Chaos. Dice rolls dictate what you pick up, how well they work, how they work, and whether or not it’s worth it to you to equip it.

But what makes this tolerable is that, as Minecraft Dungeons progresses, scalable difficulty can make or break your hardiness. From the opening, there’s three Play Modes: Default, Adventure, and Apocalypse. Each play mode has difficulty you can adjust at the beginning of each level, which will let you know what xp level it’s designed for. It will automatically ratchet up as you progress, but maybe you’ve got a hankering for a challenge, or for higher-level gear sooner than you’re getting to it. Minecraft Dungeons will happily and frequently kick you ass if you ask for it. That is not a sentence I ever expected to type, but it’s true. Beneath the simplistic design and free-for-all gameplay, this happy-go-lucky kids game is vicious and smart. Upping difficulty not only adjusts how potent enemy attacks are, but which enemies you run into, and how often. Just when you think, yes, I’ve got this, I can kick this game up a notch, it jumps you. There are moments when the game point-blank overwhelms you if you ask for it, and if you’re not prepared then you’re dead. Of course, the game is generous: you get three chances to make it all the way through the surprisingly huge, sprawling levels which are full of secrets (and can unlock secret levels), and this can make for sublimely tense moments of gameplay where you’re doing your damnedest to utilize every stat and weapon you’ve picked up just to stay alive long enough for your healing item to regenerate so you can safely pick away at the huge mob of skeletons, zombies, mages, golems, and so forth that are piling down on you. Herein lies the beauty of Minecraft Dungeons: play. Play and get good. Get good and go higher. Go higher and die. Try again. Deeper into the game and difficulty and you’ll be picking up even better tier weapons and armor, which really highlight the sweet shit you can do. Suddenly the huge mobs mean nothing in the face of your lightning rod or corrupted beacon, your crossbow that shoots five explosive arrows at once which all shoot out five more explosive arrows in all directions upon impact. Players can become ridiculously powerful as they progress. Beating the game on Default unlocks the aforementioned Adventure mode, which ups the ante by a large amount, and beating that unlocks Apocalypse, where there is no difficulty scaling -- there is only the game.

Some minor performance issues abound. Playing local co-op sometimes felt a chore trying to get other controllers in, with my PS4 not recognizing that someone was trying to play. Graphical glitches pop up here and there, the most notable being bright colors covering the whole screen whenever someone would exit their inventory. Hopping back into the inventory and hopping out would make the colors disappear, but how they got there in the first place is a mystery. And while the game itself plays well enough, the button to loot items/revive other players is the same as the attack button, and the game would have a hard time discriminating between what I wanted to do whenever I was just a little too close to an object. Am I trying to pick it up or swing my sword? Oftentimes, that which I wanted to do was not what I was actually doing. And in the chaos of multiplayer gameplay, it can become confusing as to what is on the screen, so when I suddenly couldn’t attack because there was a person I needed to revive that I didn’t see, I was flummoxed.

At the end of the day, Minecraft Dungeons does not reinvent the wheel. If anything, this is a game that many have played, and played better, in several other games. Getting into the game from the beginning can feel like a chore, a kid’s game, something that you can hit the snooze button on and wake up a little later in having missed nothing. But go deeper, find the good weapons and armor, scale up the difficulty, and suddenly this isn’t just for the kids anymore. Suddenly you’re on the edge of your seat wondering how the hell a goddamn kids game is pushing you back. You’re picking up epic gear with wild stats that give you a giggle as you jump back in, ready to face the mob. What would make the game more worthwhile would be if it introduced many of these elements sooner, rather than teasing them for a second or third playthrough. Many players above the standard Minecraft age group will be turned off at first, and will turn away. But for those who stick around -- and I do urge you to -- there is a hefty dungeon crawler beneath the hood that, for its flaws, succeeds at being a wild party game and a grit your teeth one-more-try experience. 

Final Score: 8/10