#yep my heart is real heavy right now

[aldebrana]

This one broke me a little 😢

「 🔴 RECORDING 」

found footage of satoru's student years... recorded on the camcorder that he carried around everywhere.

warnings : heavy angst, fluff, implied death, not proofread

[ the first footage is one minute long. there's two blue eyes widening comedically on the screen. the resolution is low and the audio is tinny. ]

"Ooo it works... well hellooooooo there... i'm... GOJO!! SATORU!! and this is... suguuuuruu getooooo... oh look at that walk, you're such a model."

[ the camera is on suguru, who's walking with bad posture. he doesn't like the camera. ]

[ he has his old hairstyle; this was recorded before his hair was long enough to be in the bun style. he hides his face from the camera. ]

"... aw, he's a model that doesn't like cameras. anyways... this is the beautiful... STUNNING... hot... talented... playing-hard-to-get... (haha kidding)... y/n~"

[ the camera pans to you. you can hear the flirty tone in satoru's voice. ]

"... we are currently walking through the gates of hell..."

[ the camera pans to the school. the resolution clears for a second to show a blue sky with slowly drifting clouds. ]

"okay. we have arrived in hell; look there's satan himself—"

[ the camera pans to yaga. ]

[ the footage ends with yaga confiscating satoru's camera and scolding him. ]

[ a video starts off shaky. the camera is dropped on the train floor and suguru sighs. ]

"satoru...... did you just break it after having it for one day?"

[ satoru picks it up and gives a toothy smile to the screen. ]

"nah. she's all good. not even a scratch. ooh... suguru we look so hot. and look how hot y/n is... she's so scandalous — sittin' next to me on the train. this proximity's got me sweatin', baby... kidding kidding... don't gimme that look!"

[ suguru gives the middle finger to the camera and satoru's iconic laugh sounds beautiful even through the crap audio quality. ]

[ there's a 3 minute video that's half-corrupted of a party happening in your apartment... of just you, satoru, suguru and shoko. lykke li's "i follow rivers" is playing loudly, satoru is screaming the lyrics in broken english and suguru is recording you and him dancing like maniacs. shoko is offering her cigarette to the camera and blowing smoke into the lens. ]

[ there's a 25 second clip of satoru aggressively kissing you until you laugh. ]

[ there is a photo of satoru crouching to pet a cat. he's holding an umbrella. ]

[ there is corrupted footage of laughter and a flicker of the video shows a tiny pot on a stove with ramen cooking in it. ]

[ there's a photo of you, satoru, suguru and shoko. you and satoru are looking at each other like lovebirds. suguru is giving the finger to the camera. shoko is laughing with her eyes closed. ]

[ a long video of satoru waking up in a hotel bed. he looks like he just woke up. he blinks at the camera, bleary-eyed and cute with puffy lips and messy hair. ]

"goodmornin'."

[ his morning rasp is strong. ]

"i'm awake... but miss sleepy head and mister sleepy head are not, as you can see..."

[ he zooms in on your face. you're laid at his right, and suguru is laid at his left. ]

"here's the sleeping angel... and here's the sleeping dragon... anyways... WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYY!!! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW DAY!!!"

[ suguru's wakeful groan sounds groggy and disturbed by satoru's loud, piercing wake-up call. you scrunch your face as you wake up, seemingly out of a dream. ]

"satoru... what the hell is the matter with you..."

[ it's an ultra close-up shot of your nose as you mumble this. ]

"i was lonely being awake by myself, gosh. you're so mean!"

[ he experiences a voice crack. suguru gives a sleepy, murderous look at his best friend. ]

"satoru... i swear i'm gonna throw that camera into traffic one day."

[ suguru's mumbling into his pillow too softly to be taken seriously. ]

"wanna say that to the camera?"

[ suguru looks grouchy. ]

"i'll kill you."

"WOW... buddy, this is evidence if you ever do kill me... the police will find this footage... 'n put your FLAT ass in jail. aw... y/n fell back asleep look look... aw she's so fucking precious."

[ suguru and satoru admire you for a bit. there rest of the footage is corrupted. ]

[ footage of a breakfast in the same hotel. sunny side eggs are zoomed-in on. and there's only eggs. ]

"we're too broke to buy bacon, isn't that cool?"

[ satoru gets a nice view up his nose as he tilts the camera to himself. then he turns the camera to you, who's sleepily eating this miserable breakfast. ]

"... so we just have eggs to eat... heyyyy hot babe..."

[ satoru flirts with you and you roll your eyes in response, smiling and chewing on your egg, fork in one hand. ]

"wanna hear a joke?"

"mhm."

"if you ever broke up with me, what would you call me?"

"an idiot?"

"your eggs."

[ you groan and stop eating because his pun was so awful, but you've got a big smile on your face and satoru is laughing heartily. ]

[ the video ends with you and satoru leaning in for a big kiss and a sleepy suguru walking into the room, itching his tummy under his shirt. ]

[ there's a clip of you, satoru, suguru and shoko yelling happy new year and watching fireworks explode into blazing, brilliant colors. suguru winks at the camera as you hold it and you giggle flirtatiously back. there's clearly tension between you two that neither satoru nor shoko acknowledge in the moment, because the fireworks distract them. ]

[ there's footage of you, satoru and suguru kissing. it ends with satoru kissing the camera as a joke. ]

[ most of the footage is corrupted after this. in the next video, satoru seems a bit older. ]

[ there's footage of a solo satoru, who's been enlightened and and burdened with being the strongest. he's on a mission alone, keeping the camcorder on as he exorcises a curse. he trots over to the camera. he seems less enthusiastic compared to the other videos. ]

"aaand that's what the strongest looks like while he's at work."

[ satoru looks smug and goofy, but something is off. his features look worn and tired. ]

[ there is already that slightly disingenuous liveliness showing in his demeanor just in this small video; the version of satoru that his students would know as just normal gojo sensei. ]

[ his smile falters as he rambles about y/n and suguru. ]

"i'm gonna give y/n a big kiss when i get home. miss you, angel. haha... why am i talking to a camera all by myself... that's so sad. i'm gonna film myself gettin' that kiss at home, just to prove i'm not some lonely idiot. i have a hot fiancé..."

[ one of the last photos taken on this camera is dated; august 2009. it's of you and satoru sharing a big kiss... neither of you knew it at the time, but it was your last kiss. ]

[ the next piece of footage is from 2018. it's a 28 year old gojo, his features show his maturity and the weathering of all the years he's endured living without you and suguru.]

"i found this camera while cleaning up. if i look 'n sound funny it's 'cuz i've been crying haha......"

"...... i miss you two..... haha... i can't shove the camera in your faces like i used to, now can i?"

[ he awkwardly smiles at the camera but then his face trembles and contorts into an ugly-cry as if he just remembered every single memory of his youth. ]

[ the footage ends with a broken, barely audible "fuck..." falling from the teacher's lips as he starts to cry and drops the camera to the floor. the rest is corrupted footage... just heaving sobs of the man who has no more memories to record with suguru and y/n. ]

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[oneforthemunny]

a teeny tiny modern!eddie blurb i had rattling around my noggin. loosely based on real events (my ex is a pos and modern!eddie is an angel lol), but made me giggle when i thought about it. kinda smutty but nothing graphic more-so just alluded to. enjoy <3

“Hey, pretty girl.” Eddie grinned, half-lidded hazy eyes lighting up when you walked through the door. 

“Hi,” You mumbled, hip bumping the door to push it closed, shoulders heavy after the exhaustion of the day. 

“Did you have a good day?” Eddie chirped, flicking his mic up on his headset, pulling it off his messy curls. “Sell lots?” 

You snorted lightly, purse sliding off your shoulder onto the coffee table. “Oh, yeah. Dealt with ten year olds wanting foundation matches all day.” 

“Ten?” Eddie frowned. “Can ten year olds even wear makeup?” 

“Apparently they can. And they’re very particular.” You rolled your eyes, rubbing out the growing knot in your shoulder that was beginning to ache. “Did you empty the dishes?” 

“Yep.” Eddie nodded. “Loaded them up for you too, baby. Got you another one of those candles you like. Your stash was runnin’ low.” He smiled proudly. 

Your lips twitched, trying to fight back your own flustered grin. It did make your heart flutter, Eddie always did. “Thank you.” You muttered instead. “I’ve gotta get out of these clothes, and I’ll-” You started to lean over the couch, lips hovering over Eddie’s, his parting lightly to fit yours before you stopped. Halted by a familiar smell. 

“What- What’s that smell?” You sniffed, turning in the air before your nose found the source. “Are you- Why do you smell like that?” 

“Shit, is it bad?” Eddie tugged at his t-shirt, nose pressing towards the underarms of his shirt. “I took a shower today, but then I had to meet up with some people. I didn’t think it was bad-” 

“-No, it’s not that.” You snapped, eyes narrowing down at him. “Why do you smell like Bum-Bum Cream?” 

Eddie paused, blinking at you. “Bum-Bum?” He repeated, brows lifting. “Is this a joke? Like Up-Dog-” 

“-Eddie,” You huffed. “Don’t fuck with me right now. What? Did you have another bitch here?” Your teeth gritted, gaze flickering in seething fury around the apartment for anything- any sign of infidelity. 

“What?” Eddie gaped, turning to look at you. “No, c’mon, you know I wouldn’t do that-” 

“-Then why do you smell like that?” You screeched, throwing an arm out at him. 

“Smell like what?” Eddie countered, voice raising in defense. 

“The most recognizable smell in the world? You couldn’t tell your bitch not to wear that-” You smacked the door to your shared bedroom open, halting in the doorway. 

“I didn’t fuck anyone!” Eddie followed, throwing his hands up. “Why do you always start this shit? I’ve never-” 

Your eyes narrowed, stomping towards the bedside table. There, on Eddie’s side, amongst the phone chargers and empty carts sat a box of tissues next to the familiar yellow tub of cream. Half screwed on, greasy on the lid- recently used. 

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” You huffed, snatching the jar, grimacing at the slick, greasy substance still left on the lid. Pivoting, you turned to Eddie, hoisting the jar towards him. 

Eddie blinked. “What?” 

“This is what I’m smelling.” You snapped. “This is Bum-Bum Cream. My Bum-Bum Cream.” You jabbed a manicured nail onto the logo. 

“Oh,” Eddie quipped. “Yeah, I did use that.” 

“Used it?” You growled. “You used my fucking expensive lotion to jack off?” 

Eddie’s cheeks tinged with pink embarrassment, eyes wide and round like a child caught, still with some mischief that made your skin crawl with irritation. “Well,” He started. 

“Well?” You gawked at him. “Eddie, this is- You can’t use this!” You unscrewed the lid, mouth falling open at the large scoop that was now missing from the middle. “Are you- Do you know how expensive this is?” 

“No.” Eddie admitted, swallowing a smile. “I just thought it was lotion-” 

“-You have lotion!” You snapped. “You have your Nivea or whatever-” 

“-I ran out!” 

“So you use this? My lotion? My expensive lotion?” You growl. “How- How does this not burn your dick off? It’s a fucking fragranced lotion.” 

Eddie shrugged, lips curling in a shit eating grin. “It felt kinda nice, actually.” 

Your nose curled in disgust. “You’re fucking sick, and you’re buying me a new one.” 

“Fine.” Eddie’s hands slid down your arms gently. “I’ll buy you a new one. I swear. I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t use that one.” 

“Don’t use any of my lotions to jack off.” You glared at him. “And put it back when you’re done.” You shove the lotion back at him. 

“Alright, alright, hey- look at me, baby, please?” Eddie cooed, lips still curled with a smile you wanted to smack off his face, nerves rattled with annoyance. You glared at him, shoving your work jeans down with a huff, not missing the way Eddie’s eyes lingered. 

“I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to. I’ll buy you a new one. We can go right now if you want.” He muttered sweetly, his soft tone making your heart swell. 

“No, it’s fine.” You huff, rolling your eyes, pulling your top off. “We can go later. Just don’t do it again.” 

“I won’t.” Eddie lifted his hands playfully. He waited a second, turning the yellow tub around in his hands. “It is good stuff though. Can see why you like it so much-” He dodged your balled up shirt you flung at him with a loud cackle, scampering to the bathroom to put it back on the counter.

also this is the lotion / sol de janerio's bum bum cream referenced lol. a very canon event i fear. hope you enjoyed!

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sweet Pumpkin Chapter 2

Summary:  Bucky is struggling with the dating world and knows that if he ever hopes to have a serious relationship, that he needs to get through his touch deprivation issues.  It’s not that he doesn’t want to touch people, or them to touch him, but after decades of pain he doesn’t know how to accept physical intimacy from others, or how to give it himself.  He hires Y/N, an intimacy coach and professional cuddler, who comes highly recommended.  Will his heart be able to distinguish between a service given versus real love?

Warnings: mentions of past violence and past sexual assault, language, physical intimacy, eventual smut

**curvy reader

Previous chapter Next chapter

Bucky saw Y/N every Friday for the next two months.  They had made great strides together, and he was able to be touched without immediately shrinking away or flinching.  He now greeted her with a hug every time she opened the door, smiling widely at him with that same twinkle in her eye.  He was able to hold her gaze without feeling the need to look away, to touch her without hesitation.  

“I think we’re ready for the bed,” Y/N announced.

“The bed?” Bucky asked.

“Yep!” she said cheerfully.  She walked over to the bed and climbed up, sitting on the end by the wall, her hands in her lap and her legs spread out in front of her.  She leaned back against the wall and then patted the spot next to her.  “Come sit with me, Buck.”  Bucky followed her and sat next to her on the bed.  They had sat next to each other on the couch not far from the bed, so this wasn’t much different.  She watched him then looked ahead of herself.  “Alright, now I want you to reach over and put your hand on my thigh.”

“Your thigh?” Bucky said incredulously.  “What is this, a date?”

“Yes,” Y/N smirked.  “Pretend you’re on a date with some pretty person and you’d like to reach over and hold onto their thigh.”

Bucky was still surprised, glancing down at her legs.  “Okay,” he said.  “Not hard to pretend when I’ve got a pretty lady right next to me already.”

Y/N snorted, covering her face with her hands as she laughed, Bucky chuckling next to her.  He’d been a lot more personable and flirty with her the last month as he became more comfortable.  They teased each other, Bucky using humor as a way to lighten the mood whenever there were heavy or serious moments.  “Such a flirt,” she scoffed.  Bucky smiled but reached out and gripped her thigh, just a few inches above her knee.  “Easy,” she said, tapping his hand on her thigh proudly.  “Okay, now put your arm around my shoulders.”  Bucky moved that same arm up and over her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.  “Very good,” she said, and he felt a tug of his heart at the praise.  “Can I put my head on your shoulder?” she said, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” Bucky said.  Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder.  They sat like that in silence for a moment before Bucky leaned his head down to rest on top of her head.  

“Very good,” she praised him again.  “Is that comfortable for you?”

“Yes,” he agreed.  “I think I can handle the basic date touching, Y/N.”

“I’m sure you can,” Y/N said, moving to sit back up.  Bucky begrudgingly lifted his head and moved his arm back to his side.  She suddenly sat up on her knees to face him and leaned forward towards his face.  “Staring contest, go!” she said loudly.

Bucky’s lips tightened into a thin line as he tried not to laugh, his eyes widening as he stared at her.  “Jesus, Y/N, why do you keep doing this when you know you’re gonna lose?”

“It’s an exercise,” she explained simply, shrugging one of her shoulders.  “Keeping prolonged eye contact is extremely intimate, and important when talking to people so they feel like they’re being seen and listened to.”  

Bucky huffed a laugh.  “Sure, or it could just be your excuse to look at me,” he teased, arching his eyebrow at her and his eyes narrowing.

She narrowed her eyes back at him.  “Could be. I mean, for 107 you don’t look half bad.”

“Half bad?” Bucky said, tilting his head at her.  “I look fucking hot for 107.”  She fought a wide smile, making her lips twitch in the corners.  He could see her eyes starting to water and decided to up the ante.  Their faces were already close together, just a few inches away, another thing they’d worked on, but now he slowly leaned forward until his nose was nearly touching her nose.  Y/N’s eyes fluttered but didn’t quite close.  “Just admit it, you think I’m hot, don’t you?” he teased.

Y/N’s eyes widened then shut tight.  “Goddammit,” she swore, leaning back and rubbing her eyes.  

Bucky laughed.  “I win,” he said jovially.

“Yeah yeah,” Y/N laughed.  “We’ve still got about 15 minutes.  Did you wanna try cuddling today?”

Bucky nodded.  As much as it was important for him to be able to learn to be in such close proximity with someone, he had been waiting for this part of their sessions.  “Yeah.  How did you want to…?”

Y/N smiled then moved back to where she was before.  She laid down, keeping her upper half slightly propped up in the pillows behind her head.  “Let’s start with me holding you,” she said.  “Unless you’d rather be the big spoon first?”

“The big spoon?” Bucky laughed.  

“You’ve never heard of being the big spoon or little spoon?” Y/N laughed.  “God you’re so old.”

“Hey, that’s ageist,” Bucky said, his hand against his chest.  “How disrespectful of your elders!”

“Oh shut up and get down here,” Y/N huffed, opening her arms up to him.

Bucky chuckled again and slid himself down so he was laying next to her.  They had never done this before, but he felt no fear or worry about it.  He wanted to feel her, for her to hold him, and happily accepted her embrace.  She guided him to rest his head against her chest, just under her chin, then sat still and held him, her hands randomly moving up and down his upper back.  He wrapped his flesh arm around her, his metal arm tucked underneath himself and resting between them across her stomach.  

“How does this feel?” Y/N asked quietly.

“Amazing,” Bucky answered honestly, his cheek slightly squashed against her sternum.  His flesh arm around her pulled her closer to him.  Y/N hummed as she leaned her head down to rest on top of his head.  They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Bucky nearly being lulled to sleep by the beating of her heart.  Her hand on his back moved slightly up and over the back of his neck and it made him shiver.  “Could you, uh…” he paused, feeling embarrassed.

“What is it?” Y/N asked.

“Could you run your fingers through my hair, please?” Bucky whispered.

Y/N huffed a laugh and squeezed him.  “Sure thing, hot stuff,” she said.

“I knew it!” Bucky said loudly, his arm squeezing her again.

“Yeah yeah, you’re hot, whatever,” Y/N said nonchalantly as her hand reached up and her fingers started slowly scratching down his scalp through his hair.

“Oh my god,” Bucky sighed, feeling like he was melting into her.  Y/N’s chest jiggled as she silently laughed.  

“I’ve got you,” she whispered into his hair.  “Just relax.”

Bucky nuzzled into her chest.  He wanted to bury into her, to stay like this forever.  He was proud of himself for how far he’d come over the last two months, but now he was worried.  What would happen if she felt like he was done with their sessions?  He’d gotten to know her pretty well over their time together, and she knew him better than anyone else in his life at this point.  She had quickly become his safe space, and he knew he was in trouble from that first night when she let him touch her face, tracing over her lips.  

He was dozing off until she tapped his shoulder.  “Bucky, wake up,” she called to him softly.  “Our time’s up.”

Bucky whined.  “No, five more minutes.”

Y/N giggled.  “I know, but it’s time.”  She started to unwind her arms from around him, forcing him to get up.  He slowly sat up, yawning and stretching as Y/N scooted to the end of the bed and sat facing him.  “How did cuddling feel?” she asked, watching him intently.

“Great,” Bucky answered, smiling at her tiredly.  

“Good,” Y/N breathed with her own tired smile.  “I’ll see you next week.”

Bucky nodded, standing and then reaching a hand out to her to help her up.  She took it and stood and then he pulled her hand to make her close to him and quickly hugged her.  “Thanks,” he said quietly.

“No problem,” Y/N replied.

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess @cjand10 @railmesebstan

[jencthy]

IN MY DREAMS — sim jake

CO STARING — huh yunjin

WARNINGS — angst

yn, jake and yunjin.

the trio have been friends since elementary school.

8 years old

“I heard a new kid is coming to our class.” the young girl whispered to the boy beside her. “really?” his head perked up “is it a boy or a girl ?” he asked pushing his head towards the girl.

“how am I supposed to know ?” yn replied pushing his head away from her, the boy pushes her back, making her almost fall off chair she looks at him in shock with a you could’ve killed me face before she can grab his hair-

the classroom door opened, revealing the secretary and a young girl.

“here she is.” their teacher exclaimed from the front of the classroom. “she’s all yours.” the secretary says as she exits the classroom urging the girl to go the front of the classroom.

everyone watches as the girl slowly walks towards the from of the classroom. “please introduce yourself, honey.”

“um um hi im yunjin.” the girl stutters avoiding eye contact with the class. “yunjin ! it’s so nice to meet you, you can sit right beside yn and jaeyun, over there.” their teacher points towards the duo.

yunjin walks towards them and sits in the empty chair. “hello.” she says quietly, she looks at yn scanning her silently she looked at the girls hello kitty pencil case,water bottle, t-shirt and stick on nails. “I see you like hello kitty, I like hello kitty too, maybe not as much as you but…”

yn giggles cutting the rambling girl off. “thank you.”

Jake feeling left out decides to cut in “I like I like hello kitty too.”

yn glares at the boy “no you don’t, you always make fun of me and my “obsession” you like to say” shoving the boy’s shoulder, just like last time he shoves her back.

yunjin watches the fighting pair, laughing quietly and she knew these two were going to be her best friends.

14 years old

it was a girls night a sleep over without jake.

yn was on edge, she’s been seeing jake in a new light lately, ever since they turned ten jake has developed a flirty personality with both her and yunjin and it hasn’t affected her until now.

“yun ?” y/n calls out moving closer towards the raven haired girl sitting on the floor beside her. “I have something to tell you.”

yunjin sits up looking at the girl noticing her uneasiness. “ are you alright?”

“yea, I’m fine. it’s just.” the girl let’s put a deep sigh. “it’s just I’ve been seeing jake in whole new light, like when he puts his arm around my shoulders,instead of feeling nothing, I feel butterflies BUTTERFLIES YUNJIN.”

yunjin looks the girl that looks like she’s losing her mind in shock. “ you like jake ? like our jake ? sim jaeyun ?”

“I knowwww.” yn screams in her hello kitty shaped pillow. “I’m losing my mind.” she sits up leaning close to yunjin’s face. “you’re gonna help me get over him right ?”

“of course why wouldn’t I.” pulling yn close to her, yunjin whispers in her ear. “we’re gonna get rid of that sickness that you have.”

18 years old - present

yn did in fact not get rid of the “sickness.” if we’re gonna be real it got worse, she’s convinced she’s in love with jake her best friend.

she thought that she would get over this silly crush, and that it would something that she could laugh at in the future.

but here she is, her heart feeling heavy as she listens to him talk about the amazing girl he’s gonna confess to soon.

soon meaning today.

yunjin looks at her with a pity filled expression, yn smiles weakly at her mouthing “it’s okay.”

“you guys know her better than you think.” jake says looking at the two girls. “you’re are gonna be so shocked when you find out who she is.”

“really?” yunjin looks at him with a blank face. “we know her ?”

“yep.” Jake responds “she’s talented, funny, smart, understanding.” jake lists looking at yn. “you okay love ?”he asks noticing how quite she became.

yn looks up from her lap. “yea, im fine.” she sits up from her seat. “I’m gonna go get some strawberry milk.”

“I’ll come.” jake sits up as well grabbing the girls hand.

they walk to the machine in silence. “you sure you’re okay?” jake asks squeezing her hand looking at the girl with gentle eyes.

yn pays for her drink. “yea, of course.” she looks up at him her heart melting at his sincere look.

“you know you can tell me everything right ?” jake says wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they head back to their table. y’know I love you right ?”

she leans into him “yes I know I can tell you anything.” she feels him squeeze her shoulder. “and I love you too.”

“I know.” he smiles smugly down at her, pulling her to sit down beside him at the table.

yn is assuming that jakes confession yesterday did not go well, he’s quite today, surprisingly it was her and yunjin being the talkative ones today and not him and when she asked how his confession went he said he didn’t wanna talk about it.

it’s the end of they day.

yn closes her locker, and yes she knows this is a selfish way of thinking but maybe this her chance maybe she can swoop in and save the day.

with that in mind she goes looks for him.

it’s raining hard darn me for forgetting my umbrella

she walks out the school with her bike, smiling when she spots Jake and yunjin soaking in the rain just like her, she walks towards them coming to a stop when she hears.

“why’d you reject me ?”

what ?

“jake.” yunjin let’s out a deep sigh. “ I already told you, I just don’t like you like that.”

yn feels like she can’t breathe, her heart feels heavy I feel like throwing up.

“yunjin I love you.” he comes close to her holding her arms. “look at me please.”

“jake, I’m sorry but I just don’t like you like that, how many times do I need to tell you, this has been going on for weeks.” she looks up at him “did you think I was playing hard to get or something?”

weeks ? what ?

“yes.” he responds lowly, his phone starts ringing. “ I gotta go…” he pauses like he wants to say something but just walks away to his car.

yunjin let’s out a deep sigh turning around freezing as she makes eye contact with a soaking wet yn, betrayal written on her face.

“yn.” she walks closer to her flinching when yn takes a step back.

“you’re the mystery girl ?” yn looks at her tears filling her eyes, her heart feeling like it got stomped on. I can’t breathe “and you knew he liked you ?”

“yn, I’m so sorry-”

“you’re sorry?” yn looks at her like she just said utter nonsense. tears fall down her cheeks. “you made me feel like I had a chance, you told me you understood me.” yn watches as a sob escapes yunjin.

“your sobbing ? your sobbing?, I should be the one sobbing you don’t even know how this feels !” yn yells at yunjin more tears running down her face, the tears becoming unnoticeable with the amount of rain coming down on them.

“of course I know how this feels !” yunjin yells back at yn. “do you how much it hurts having your crush, someone you’ve been in love with since you were eight fall in love with someone who doesn’t love her back, when you’re right here in front of them !”

“what ?” yn looks at the sobbing girl in shock.

no no this can’t be happening

“yn i love you, I love you so much.” yunjin cry’s out walking closer to the girl .

no no no

“I’m I’m sorry.” yn gets on her bike. “ I I need to go.”

“yn, please wait.” yunjin cries harder, reaching out to the girl.

“I’m sorry yunjin.” yn looks at her feeling sick, the rain making her feel cold on the inside and on the outside. “I can’t do this.”

and with that yn bikes off.

leaving yunjin in the rain watching.

well…

[lovechrissturniolo]

9/ first day - night

contains: Chris longing for physical contact, Lea strokes his hair, talking, arousal mentioned, tension

In the late night Fortnite round, Matt and Chris gave all their energy and humor.

Thank goodness the game and music were loud enough to drown out the fact that Lea couldn't help but laugh along at times.

In between, Chris used every free second to check on Lea. When he left the room, he lingered for a short chat with her, and when he got a snack or drink, he brought her something, too.

〽️

“I need a few minutes, Matt!” moaned Chris after a lost round and Lea muted his mic.

She sat with her back leaning against the headboard of Chris's bed and slid the headset from one ear. “Chrisbabymama gifted 20!” she announced with a grin. “You wanna catch that on stream real quick or no?”

“No.” he replied with an exhausted laugh and dropped onto his stomach next to her. “I'll catch the next one.”

〽️

Whenever Chris head was so close to her, Lea felt a burning desire to run her fingers through his tousled hair.

As he lay down, he realized how incredibly exhausted he was. “Do you know what's strange about gaming?” he mumbled. “It completely drains me and my head is foggy, but my body has way too much energy to like chill or sleep!"

"Yeah, I get that." Lea said quietly. “I mean you barely move - although that doesn't really apply to you!”

She laughed warmly at the thought of Chris jumping around from excitement the whole time.

“You are actually always on the move! I have to focus your camera three times as often as Matt's!"

Chris giggled into the covers. “But that's not it, you know? I`d have to really work out in between! Do something that makes me sweat and is satisfying and...”

He made a growling sound as he thought about his choice of words. “Pause.”

Lea smirked mischievously and was glad that he couldn't see her face.

The immense number of suspicious comments he made may not have increased, but she noticed them different now than earlier.

〽️

'Damn, gaming does indeed make me horny!' Chris thought to himself and let out a low, desperate grumble. “Maybe it's just a lack of physical contact." he continued his thought out loud, unintentionally.

“Here, let me take your headset,” Lea said quietly. “You'll break it the way you're lying on it.” She carefully grabbed it and fumbled it out from between his hair. “And headsets I can't fix."

When she had almost freed it, Chris's hand felt for her wrist and held it tightly.

“Leave it there.” he whispered.

Lea put the headset aside and slightly stroked his head. Her hand felt shaking like crazy, but when she looked at it, it was calm.

“That feels nice.” Chris murmured and made a sighing noise.

´Fuck, that makes me want more!´ it flashed through his mind and he thought about the variations of physical contact that he wanted the most right now.

´Oh my God, I love his hair,´ Lea thought as she ran her fingers through the tousled strands in fascination. She wished she could do this forever.

But she reminded herself not to get carried away.

What she did was already crossing the line.

〽️

As if her thoughts were being transferred, Chris had a similar realization.

Lea basically worked for him. He was the famous client, she was still in training. How could he be sure that she not just did her job as well as possible?

Still, the way she was touching him didn't exactly feel like it was a task for her.

“Is that usually part of your job?” Chris said half-jokingly.

Lea smirked bashfully and answered: “No. It's actually pretty unprofessional, I'd say.”

“I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

She made a kind of like sarcastic noise. “I feel anything but uncomfortable! This I do unpaid with pleassure."

They laughed quietly for a moment.

“Do you want to watch the day's review before you continue?” asked Lea, interrupting the intimate moment with a heavy heart.

“Yes, good idea.” he replied with a sigh.

“Let's go upstairs!”

“Yep. I'll text Matt to come out for a minute.”

〽️

It was 4 o'clock in the morning when Lea got a message from Matt. “We're ready for the break!”

Lea saw on her monitor that they were saying goodbye to the viewers and waited for the right moment to end the stream for the day.

next ➡️

⬅️ index

[phantomram-b00]

Imma use my hottake post to explain it since I felt I should give more context with this take to explain myself why I have this opinion on the topic of this.

For those who don’t know or don’t wanna look back with the link, it basically that my hottake is that I don’t like the theory of what Crowley’s angel name was/could’ve been. I know this might be a bit controversial since I think everyone in this fandom (not to assume ofc), and whilst I get the curiously since Crowley almost never talk about his time over at heaven, mostly for valid reason that I’ll get to. Before I get into this, I know it been month but I wanna still give that this haunted blog/post does contain heavy spoilers so if your planning to watch good omens or haven’t seen season two yet go watch it and come back here, or you can still read— what can I say, I’m only a phantom that have lot to say about good omens and making it everyone else’s problem. But still spoiler warning ahead! So without further or do,

let get into it and talk about our favorite snake demon and a good old fashion lover boy/girl/enby—

So, okay, seeing Angel Crowley, that’s cool and honestly wholesome— despite the poor trauma he’s going to endure and will sauntered vaguely downward for. I remember hearing the theory about how his name could be Raphael, seen some AO3 tags of Crowley used to be Raphael or just people buzzing what his name could’ve been (even some saying it could be Castiel or Cassiel). And while the curiously of it all is cool, for a while I couldn’t really pin it at first as to why I personally didn’t like it. And Idk if that make be boring or a bitch for not wanting to know, it just to me, I felt why does it matter if Crowley himself don’t even want to remember about his time at heaven?

Sure season 2 when he didn’t even say it might have been what spiked it, but i think the whole point about him is the fact that he clearly moved on from it. Does he still hold resentment? Of course, why wouldn’t he be? And from unfair circumstances too:

But, as we’ve seen from most of the flashback, he moved on from it. He using hell as long as he can (lonely? Yep, which is a perfect parallel to how Aziraphale following heaven—), he doesn’t want to remember the angel he is before, he even said it to Aziraphale when he tried to stop him from killing Job’s kids. But I think of how he’s dealt with is how his trauma grew seeing how he doesn’t want to be considered nice or kind; I feel it goes deeper than just because he’s a demon now, I believe (and this is just my observation), he rather not remember the kinder side he was once before because of how the “light” casted him away and how heaven runs things. So why would he want to be associated with those word when it remind him of his time, he rather not remember it (or in a case run away from heaven as much as he can), he rather associate himself from being mean or remember himself as a demon now rather than an angel he once was. (Even though, he is very kind and I wish to hug him. Don’t start-).

Plus, he more comfortable with his new name now, that’s why he even changed it back at the flashback of the crucifixion of Jesus as his named used to be Crawly (which honestly real.) and changed it to Crowley (now technically he changed it again to Anthony J Crowley, but we hardly heart anyone even Aziraphale say it outside from the blitz flashback, so I kinda wanna count it but I’mma not just incase, but I like the name tho-), and since then, he’ve wore that name proudly and never look back, and Aziraphale an ally he is suppose him and call him by his prefer name. That is him saying “I’m not whoever I was before, so I’m going to change my name to move on from my past”, and honestly I stand, I love the fact he want to move on from his time as an angel/move away from his deadname to be the person he is today, proud of the wily serpent ^v^

“But phantom, that still doesn’t explain why you dislike it?”

You’re right, it still doesn’t so imma explain it a bit more, I just feel it shouldn’t matter what his name was, it really up to his (or Neil’s but this is Crowley we’re talking about) own terms, it him that should be able to say his deadname. And if it never reveal, I wouldn’t care since Good Omens from both season shown, Crowley moved on from his angelic past even if he have the grudges he have now after 6000 years he rather accepts his life now and hopefully with the Angel that have supported him and stood by him. And I know the finally is making it seem like Azirapahel want to change him, but like I said here that I don’t think that the case, I don’t think he would ever want him to revert back to the person he was once before, he could never ask Crowley to do such a thing knowing the progress he made. Like I said and will say again, I think this was Azirapahle (in a poor way given the situation and that their communication is the equivalent of a ghost (invisible as fuck)) to give Crowley a change to fix the broken and toxic system heaven been running on since the dawn of time, to give Crowley the chance to fix what need to be fixed with Aziraphale, and Crowley said no, and I think rightly so in his point of view, heaven did treated everyone especially Crowley poorly and is the main source of his trauma, so I’m happy he said no, it not his place to fix the one thing that in his eyes was broken and have always been. So good jobs Crowley for standing your grounds.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, my point is that, Crowley have moved on and it shouldn’t matter what his deadname was, I think we should all respect that when it come to not just his but everyone’s deadname. Crowley clearly doesn’t have to remember his time on heaven, and I gotta respect that. Because if I was in his shoes, I wouldn’t neither if I was a bit braver than he was.

“But phantom what if it was revealed anyway?”

Again I wouldn’t care, like the commenter said (I don’t know how they feel about tagging so I won’t just to be respectful) and I do agree, if it had to be revealed it should be on his own terms. And I do agree, it is up to Crowley, he should be able to say it as it could garner the impactful moment, especially if he does say like “I’m not *this name* anymore” or whatever he’ll say in season 3, (which please let it be greenlit, I’m begging atp).

And honestly, I don’t doubt it really, it seem it might be revealed, which, fine, this is Neil’s work so gotta respect. Just I hope it on his term, and that no one else say it, I don’t even want aziraphale to say it. Just him. He deserve it.

But that’s my take on it. That’s my spew on this. Might be boring or lame to not be curious, but honestly like I said, he’ve going down a path away from heaven and accepted what happen to him. May not be in a healthiest way but regardless I love this demon and I am happy he moved on and I can’t wait to see him again in season 3, David Tennant a perfect Crowley and I wouldn’t have it any other way ^v^

But I hope you enjoy my yet another insane ramble of this show, frankly this show is becoming my life atp and I don’t hate it. I love this show, it my comfort, I’m happy to have this show; if you want to ask me any other questions you can in the AMA box or comments, but also tell me what do you guys think of this theory? Do you love it? Have qualms with it? Or anything? Tell me in the comments or reblog. As always this is phantom, imma go haunt somewhere else.

[wynnyfryd]

working on a new fic bc when am i ever not lol whoops (tw: self-harm ideation; skip the paragraph after “his blood calms” if you don’t want to read that)

Eddie’s shaking on the front porch. Slight tremor in his left hand when he goes to ring the bell.

Nancy’s place is nice from the outside, a cute townhome in the artsy part of town with three stories, professional landscaping and a garage and second floor entry. The steps up to the front door left Eddie a little winded, and isn’t that pathetic? He fidgets with his rings, spins the hog around by its snout. He can hear people inside, a low thrum of happy voices and chill indie ambiance, and he kind of wants to throw up; wishes he weren’t so close to sober, only he didn’t want Nancy and her friends thinking he was some kind of stoner loser.

Oh, so just a regular loser then?

Eddie rings the bell.

The door swings wide, and Eddie’s heart lurches horribly in his chest, because it’s— because it’s him. Pretty boy. Guardian angel, the most handsome of his ghosts.

“Hey, welc— oh, shit,” the guy breathes, his face going slack in surprise.

Eddie blinks at him and chokes. “I- uh- I left something in the car,” he lies in a rush and flees down the stairs, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. All but runs back to the van with his heart in his throat.

He climbs into the driver’s side and shoves his vape into his mouth like it’s an oxygen mask and the cabin pressure just dropped. Sucks in smoke, sucks in more. Deep inhale that burns his lungs, leaves him hacking dryly into his fist. Inhales again, when he can.

His blood calms.

Slows in his veins, pools thick and wet as molasses. Eddie pretends he can see it, the lazy glide. He stares at the pale blue lines running the length of his bony wrist. Thinks of splitting them open like vanilla pods. The thought makes him smile.

He’s drumming his fingers on the wheel to some imaginary song, eyes closed and floating when someone taps on his window. His someone. Someone pretty.

“Angel,” Eddie greets with a soft smile when he rolls down the glass. His eyelids are heavy.

Angel doesn’t seem to like it. “Hey, uh— look, I just. Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m just peachy, baby.”

“Don’t—” Angel frowns, so Eddie does, too. Pouts his bottom lip out.

“Oh, my god,” Angel huffs, frustrated but laughing. His smile’s so nice. “Do you still want to come inside? Nancy was worried I scared you off or something.”

Oh, right. Nancy Wheeler. Movie night. Movie and margs.

A margarita sounds delicious.

Eddie licks his lips and nods, shakes his head a little too roughly to wake himself back up, resists the urge to slap his own face and settles for blinking too fast and tugging his hair. “Mmhm, yep, I’m comin’, just, uh—” he pats his pockets, making sure he has all his stuff before he steps down “—just had to make a phone call first.”

“Riiiight,” Angel says. They’re standing so close now that Eddie’s out of the van, and Eddie wants to see more of those pretty boy teeth, so he raises a sluggish hand and boops him on the nose, pointer finger to the narrow tip, gentle press, like ringing a bell.

Angel laughs for real this time, takes Eddie’s wrist and leads him inside.

[zannolin]

hello! sorry to bother you, but I saw you said you're reading your book number 91 (!!!! That's impressive) and I've been looking for book recommendations lately, so if you don't mind, would you share some book recs you have? (of fiction if it's possible). thank you!

haha yeah i tend to spend most of my free time when i'm not writing (or doing fiber crafts) reading books. absolutely so happy to give recs!!! all the time!! will talk ceaselessly about the books i'm reading!!

anything by ann patchett ever but my favs by her are bel canto, the magician's assistant, and commonwealth. she's litfic and very very good, even her nonfiction stuff

the scorpio races by maggie stiefvater is my fav book of ALL time. it's ya urbanish fantasy. lifechanging.

the locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. lesbians abound. sci-fi/fantasy absolutely gorgeous in every way. cuts me to the bone

jurassic park by michael crichton. yep there's a book! i am almost done reading it right now (it is in fact book number 91) and i seriously love it like could not recommend more.

any of kristen arnett's books but mostly dead things by her is my fav! it's about a lesbian taxidermist

it's middle grade but the beyonders trilogy by brandon mull is so so so good and i love it deeply

lockwood & co by jonathan stroud is a fun ghost/paranormal series; literally the best ghost series i have read bar none

if you like peter pan, fairytale retellings, or having the heart ripped out of your chest by the concept of loneliness and growing up or the lack thereof, the peter and the starcatchers series by dave barry & ridley pearson is a really good peter pan retelling. if you're willing to overlook how some aspects of the peter pan story as a whole have not aged very well. book four is so fucking good tho

i don't often recommend ya fantasy or romance of any kind but the folk of the air series by holly black is a really good fey series with enemies to lovers i actually liked

in a similar vein of the two above, the lunar chronicles series by marissa meyer is a really fun sci-fi retellings of fairytales; heartless by her is not connected in any way but is also a fairytale retelling i fucking LOVE

our wives under the sea by julia armfield is queer, excellent, and a little horrifying

authors i have only read a few from but highly recommend and need to read ALL of include octavia butler and toni morrison

her body & other parties by carmen maria machado is a life-changing collection of queer horror short stories; in the dream house by her is also incredible but it's a memoir and you should look up content warnings on it beforehand if you're a person who doesn't do well with heavy content

i've only read the first two books but the beartown series by fredrik backman is REALLY good; it's about hockey and friendship and living in small towns and stuff. it does deal with some heavy content as well so again w warnings etc but truly i'm obsessed

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia was another horror book i really liked

middle grade again but i adore the twistrose key by tone almhjell (it's fantasy and about like growing up and beloved pets and things) (i'm trying not to rec a ton of middle grade here because i know it's not for everyone but i am an enjoyer of a lot of middle grade series if you ever want recs lol i am like supreme lord of reading puzzle/mystery/adventure series)

i have only read one book by tj klune thus far but my friends swear by him

the princess bride by william goldman is unironically SO good

if you like vague horror, suspense, and having your mind boggled, mona awad is really good

the dead lands by benjamin percy is (stay with me here) a post-apocalyptic retelling of the journey of lewis & clark (yeah the guys from us history) and i'm gonna be real. i was shocked by how much i liked it. it's WILD.

babel by rf kuang is like. massive. but it's really good historical fantasy.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones is really good horror and i've heard really good things about the rest of his books

meddling kids by edgar cantero is this really funky scooby-doo inspired horror/mystery novel that i love. it is Very quirky.

not fiction but animal vegetable miracle (barbara kingsolver; about farming and american food culture and family and stuff), the shallows: what the internet is doing to our brains (nicholas carr; about information technology etc), long live the tribe of fatherless girls (t kira madden; memoir, trigger warnings again), and the radium girls (kate moore; us history) are just. so so so good. in many different ways. couldn't not rec them!!

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott is really good fantasy; it's an urban fantasy take on the baba yaga mythos that i really loved

four treasures of the sky by jenny tinghui zhang is historical fiction with a tinge of fantasy; gorgeous writing

the girls at the kingfisher club by genevieve valentine is a flapper retelling of the 12 dancing princesses

tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica is really really fucked up horror/dystopia about a world where cannibalism has been legalized; very graphic in a sense but like. WILD to read.

i hope that's a good range! i read allll sorts of books and i know not all of them appeal to everyone but those are the ones i've really really enjoyed within the last couple years. hope you find something you enjoy out of all of them!

[daydreamgoddess14]

Aspirations pt.1

Hopefully you can look past the rubbish title and summary enough to give this a go!

It started as me coming up with a 'one bed situation' but I've expanded it a little to probably 3-4 chapters in total.

I've only done a couple of very short pieces for this fandom so far so I'd love to know your thoughts! Be kind! 😘

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Sydney Adamu / Carmy Berzatto

Syd is 12 months deep in a crush, Carmy is 6 months into a relationship he doesn't want, The Bear is 4 months open and Nat is 2 months into motherhood....

~~~~~~~

Syd didn't know why she'd said yes. Nat had asked, and while her brain went to say 'no thanks', her heart saw the look of desperation on Natalie's face, and a 'yes, of course' popped out instead. Nat even had her minor guilt trip lined up. 

"... I mean, I haven't had any real adult company since the baby was born, and I just -"

"Nat, I said yes."

"For real?"

"Sure, why not. Wait - is Claire invited?"

"Oh god, no. Just us and Tiff."

"Richie's ex?" Nat nodded. 

"Yep. Just some drinks at home, so I'm around if I'm needed. Maybe a couple slices of Marcus's cake?"

"I'll bring you some food."

"You're an angel. Does Carm know you've been keeping my fridge stocked for the last 3 months?" Syd shrugged,

"If he does, he hasn't said anything." They sat in the closed restaurant, Nat feeding baby Mikey while Syd went through the books with her. Carmy was… late. "Where the fuck is he anyway?" Nat clipped her bra back into place and lifted the baby to her shoulder. Every Friday between lunch and dinner service, they did the books together.

"Good question." Syd murmured, eyes on her calculator. "We need to start putting some money aside for Thanksgiving and Christmas promos."

"On it. I need you guys to confirm the festive menu by the 15th, please. We go to print on the 19th, delivery by the end of the month ready to take bookings throughout October."

"Wow, you are still, like, smashing it." Syd says, impressed. 

"I gotta do something during those 3 am feeds other than shopping." She reasoned, heaving the baby over to her other shoulder. 

"Here," Syd stood and held out her hands so Nat could gratefully pass him over. She'd not been around too many babies and was terrified the first time she'd held him. Richie had ribbed her about it in the weeks prior - so much so that she hadn't actually held the baby in company other than Natalie. She rocked gently from side to side, hearing little Mikey's snores in her ear. Nat read through the books and the notes left by Syd and/or Carmy.

"Hey, did I tell you what Uncle Jimmy did?" Syd didn't stop her gentle movement but turned to face Natalie better,

"No?"

"So we each own 33%, right, and Jimmy had the 1% leftover? Well he's gifted it to Mikey. The baby bear is already earning."

"That's dope, I'm still gonna make him do the dishes as soon as he's old enough though. He's gotta earn that paycheck." Syd smiled down as Mikey's eyes drifted shut. 

*

"Hey, fuck, sorry I'm late." He pushed through the swing doors, stopping at the sight of Syd swaying with the baby in her arms. 

"Too late, Carm, we're fucking done now." Nat teased, "good job someone is pulling their weight around here. And giving my arms a break." 

"He's asleep, where'd you want him?"

"You've got the magic touch." Nat took him carefully and transferred him to the car seat. Carmy squatted down for a closer look, 

"I missed out."

"Shoulda been here in time," Nat warned, "I've got a night shift going if you're -"

"No. No thanks sis, I don't get enough sleep as it is."

"Makes two of us."

"Makes three of us." Syd laughed. Carmy kissed Mikey's forehead and stood to pull his sister into a hug while Syd knelt down to tuck the blanket around Mikey and brush a finger over his milk drunk cheeks. 

"I'll let you know when's good?" Nat confirmed to Syd with a hug before letting Carmy lift the heavy car seat and take it out to her car. "Bye Uncle Bear, bye Auntie Syd!" She singsongs. By the time Carmy has returned, Syd is making sure the paperwork is filed correctly and clearing the table they've used. 

"Coffee? Probably too cold now."

"Unlikely, no such thing." He takes the mug and finishes most of it in one go making her grimace. 

"That's gross."

"You ate doughnut off the floor." He counters, she has no argument. "You and Nat planning something?" 

"Just Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"We need a menu."

"We do. I have some potential dishes down but I gotta link them with the theme or some shit." He raises an eyebrow, "Nat's idea. I'm not naming dishes after reindeer or any bullshit like that." 

"Got it. Wanna work on it Monday?"

"You got time?"

"Always." This time, Syd looked incredulous. "I mean it." She nodded slowly, 

"Heard, Chef."

"What'd you make for them this week?" He asked, holding out his hands for the paperwork folder. Syd froze, "C’mon Syd, you think I don't know you've been batch cooking for Nat and Pete for months?" She breaks into a smile, 

"Just easy stuff, chilli, casserole."

"Let me know when you're makin' more and I'll do some as well."

"Oh, I got it under control. You're busy with… like, Claire and this place. I only have this place so…" She trailed off with a limp shrug. 

"Well, you don't have to do it either -" He tried to interject. 

"Nat's been good to me. She's the only other voice of sanity around here." At that, Carmy feigned a look of hurt which made Syd snort with laughter. "Do not - do not - try and claim otherwise!"

"And here I thought we were partners."

"We are. Which is why I can't complain to you about you." She grinned and Carmy returned it with ease. Over a year of working together, 4 months since The Bear had opened, and she'd finally gotten to a point where she only felt awkward approximately 60% of the time, which was a solid win. With time, communication between them had significantly improved. The only downsides currently were his time management when it came to Claire and the raging crush Sydney had developed on Carmy over the course of the last year. The crush was the main/only reason her awkwardness level remained so high. 

"You can, y'know. I want to know if there's something I need to do better. I told you, you gotta let me know if I'm fucking up." She caught her lower lip in her teeth. He was doing that thing again, standing frustratingly close and looking at her with those ocean eyes. 

"You need to stop being late. That's the second time Nat and I have had to go through the books alone, and there's stuff in there that you're closer to than us. I'm the shit, Carm, but I can't read your mind. No matter how hard I try." She jokes. He nods sincerely. 

"Heard. I'll do better, I promise." He paused, "when'd you start holding the baby anyway?"

"Literally the first time I didn't have you and Richie watching me like a hawk." She laughed, "If you'd been around, you'd know that I am his number one Auntie."

"That so?"

"I get all the smiles, all the giggles. Me and baby Mikey are like that -" she holds up her crossed fingers, "you can't compete with a love like ours." She teases.

"Nat likes you better too, s'ok maybe the Fak's will take me in. Or T."

"Dude, T would mother the shit outta you!" She exclaimed.

"Already does. You two gonna be OK tomorrow?"

"So you and Richie can play fucking hooky? Yeah, yeah, I remembered. We all good."

"Sure?"

"Yes, Chef."

"Syd?"

"Carm, babe, Tina and I will be fine. We have everyone else here, I got Nat on front of house, we're gonna smash it." He was about to call her out on calling him babe, but they'd finished clearing up just as everyone else started arriving for dinner service and chaos soon descended. The rest of the day passed without incident. The following morning, Syd and Tina had the crew prepping for a busy lunch service while Richie and Carmy flitted in and out of the kitchen, filling up the car for their catering event. Syd took her break outside while they finished off, 

"I'm gonna get some smokes." Richie called out, already halfway down the alley. Carmy moved towards Syd,

"If you ask one more time if I'm sure, I'm gonna give you a black eye." She warned. He held his hands up, 

"Just checking in."

"You've already done that. We'll be fine."

"I'll keep my phone on. You need anything, you'll call?"

"What're you gonna do from across town?"

"Yo, cousin!" Richie shouted from the sidewalk, "bring the car down." 

"Call me."

"Just fucking go, we're good." She hopped down from the pallets with the intention of pushing him as he continued to hesitate. 

"Carmen!" Richie bellowed again, turning to talk to Natalie who'd just arrived out front. 

"Festive menus Monday?" He asked, 

"Yes, Chef. Go!" He nodded once, took half a step closer and kissed her gently on the lips before turning and running to the car. He was pulling out onto the street before she'd had time to register the kiss at all. 

*

Two miles down the road, Carmy stopped at a red light and his brain reactivated. 

"Holy fucking shit." He muttered, staring straight ahead. 

"What'dya forget?" Richie asked, looking up from his phone. Carmy thought fast,

"Uhh napkins." Richie tsked,

"I picked em up you fucking dipshit." He laughed, shoving Carmy's shoulder. "Good job one of us knows what the fuck is goin on cuz. You gotta stop thinkin bout Clairebear all the time, man." Carmy barked a short laugh,

"Yeah, Claire." He agreed, still thinking about Syd's easy smile and soft lips. 

~~~~~~

[ncityavenue]

BUTTerfly Tattoo —M.L

》in which you get a butterfly tattoo on your ass as a surprise for Mark since he loves your butt so much.

Warning: definitely suggestive,humorous (at least I tried), alot of dialog, alot of talk abt your ass (body worship ig????), mentions of being high, choking, fingering, and pain?? (I mean mark slaps your ass A L O T)

A/N: LISTENNN so I had found that picture on pinterest just cruising around and I was listening to music then mark just popped into my head so I HAD to make something up about it with that picture reference shown above.

───────ꕥ

"You think he's gonna like it?" You asked your closest friend, Haechan who you could depend on for any opinion.

"Fuck yeah, Mark Lee is a perv...and so am I because I'm pitching a tent just looking at it." Haechan said.

You pulled your jeans up, "Okay gross, anyways I'm a little nervous because it's not like a small little cute one it takes up half my ass."

" He's gonna love it! It's pretty colors too, and it goes nice with your skin complexion. Your ass is fucking beautiful y/n, you'll be fine!" Haechan waves you off trotting in your kitchen to get another snack.

"Lemme facetime Jaehyun, he's like a pro Ass man." You said.

A few rings and your met with Jaehyun face shoving some food in his mouth, "Wassup Twin."

"Hiii Twin, okay jae I need your opinion on something. And it has something to do with my ass" You say. Jaehyun gave you a suspicious look raising one eyebrow pausing to eat his food.

"I'm all ears??" He suspiciously said.

"Okay are you with anyone?" You questioned him.

"Yeah I'm with jungwoo, are you with mark?" Jaehyun answered.

"No, Haechan."

"Are you trying to get me caught up in a affair scandal?" Jaehyun nonchalantly said.

"No! Just listen! so, I got two butterflies tattooed on my ass and I wanna know what you think and if mark will like it." You explained quickly.

"Show."

Simply with that command, you showed the small portion of your ass to Jaehyun.

"Oh shit, that's fire you should definitely get it." Jaehyun says.

"Yeah I did, right here." You said with an obvious tone.

"WAIT THAT'S REAL?!" Jaehyun widen his eyes getting closer to the camera.

"Yep!"

"I said I got it tattooed."

You giggled at the slight glitch in his voice from the bad internet wherever he's at.

"Sorry, I'm high right now- but that looks dope, it fits your booty so nice I don't know how to explain it." Jaehyun complimented.

"Can I see?" Jungwoo chimes in.

Jaehyun asked you again if he could see, you nodded and Jungwoo took a look.

"DAMN! That's really nice."

Jaehyun agreed with Jungwoo, "Mark might have a heart attack seeing it, he's gonna love the fact that you have butterflies on your ass. He's a perv."

"I SAID THE SAME!" Haechan also chimed in putting his hands in the air.

"I don't know if I'm liking yall calling my man a pervert even though it's true but that's besides the point." You chuckled.

"Listen as an ass man, I would love for my chick to have a sick ass tattoo on her butt so like when I fuck her from behind I can see not only her beautiful ass but also beautiful art." Jaehyun elaborated.

"I swear you guys never know when something is TMI" you said.

"I'm just saying"

Jaehyun sipped on his drink, and with that you said your farewells to him and jungwoo before ending the call.

"So now do you believe me?" Haechan raised his eyebrows with folded arms.

"I guess so."

"Now can we go to the mall like you promised? I'm starving." Haechan rubbed his belly.

You nodded grabbing your keys, Haechan jumped off the couch following you like a excited puppy.

────────

You came back to your house with haechan following suite with all your bags in his hand, he struggled getting inside the house.

"Uh.. a little help?!" Haechan cried out, you opened the door up more letting him inside.

You saw Mark and Johnny standing in the kitchen looking at Haechan struggle with the heavy bags in his hands.

You placed your small purse on the counter, also watching the poor boy struggle.

"Here let me help you." Johnny suggested, he picked up 2 bags placing them on the counter as well.

Haechan could finally lift them up on the kitchen island.

" Hi love, You must've had fun today." Mark scanned you up and down admiring you before pulling you in for a kiss, resting his hand on your hip.

"I did, I very much did. You know how it goes, Haechan kinda lost in a game of rock paper scissors." You said, Mark replying with a soft 'ahh'.

"Never EVER have me keep your girl company while you are gone, NEVER EVER." Haechan huffed and puffed aggressively trying to catch his breath.

"They weren't even that-"

"Don't." Haechan put a finger infront of Johnny's face.

"You got alot of stuff baby." Mark rubs the dip in your back.

" It's not even that much, plushies, some clothes, lingerie, other accessories, hair products some are mine some are yours." You said.

You knew that smirk anywhere, Mark knew what time it was once you named Lingerie.

"Don't you have like alot of lingerie already?" Mark questioned.

"Not when you keep ripping them up." You say grabbing the hair products out the bags.

Mark only shyly laughed before slapping your butt, the pain from the tattoo and the slap only reminded you what you had to do today.

"Ahem! We are still present!" Johnny excused.

At this point all of you and Mark's friends knew about the tattoo except Mark.

"Now that I've caught my breath, I want to leave." Haechan announced.

Johnny was ready to go as well, "Oh I didn't bring my car here because I thought it would be a good idea to walk and burn some calories, so you're driving me home."

He explained to haechan as he grabbed his phone from the counter.

"I guess I'm just everyone's slave around here." Haechan said.

"Guess you are." Mark gave him a sheepish look tilting his head.

Haechan gave him the middle finger before exiting the house, "Night lil bro" Johnny closed their front door.

After a little silence, Mark's attention suddenly shifted towards you, beginning to feel nervous you poured yourself a glass of wine.

"So about these lingerie, you gonna try them on for me?" Mark questioned peeking through the bags.

"I mean, if it makes you happy." You smirked drinking your wine.

Mark looked at you trying to read your expression, he felt as if you're hiding something from him with that slightly mischievous grin on your face.

"What's wrong baby? Is there something on your mind?" Mark gripped your waist kissing down your neck.

"I have a surprise for you." You said.

"Hmm? A surprise?" Mark continued to place kisses on your neck and collar bone.

"Yeah take a guess, even though I know you Won't ever get it." You say with full confidence.

"You got new toys?"

"Nope"

"You have a costume in there?"

"Nah"

"You got nipple piercings?"

"No, but not a bad idea.."

"Oh my god..." Mark finally let's go of your neck, looking down at your stomach.

"Oh my god you're PREGNANT?!" Mark nearly squealed in excitement.

"What? No!" You said.

"Oh..." Mark pouted rubbing the back of his neck.

"Good to know if I was you'd be excited, anyways I'm gonna reveal it to you. Follow me" You said.

You led mark to the bedroom, Mark slapped your butt again.

"Mark stop it's a little sore."

"Still? It's been 2 weeks since then, I couldn't possibly have smacked it that hard"

"You're more heavy handed than you think you are." You simply replied, you lead him inside the bedroom.

He started lurking around to see if the present was perhaps in here, you ordered him to sit down and he did so at once.

"Did you get a whip?" Mark guessed for the several time.

"No, I'll be right back."

You went into the bathroom with a new pair of lingerie, you slipped the set on. It was a pastel blue color with lacey material.

"It's totally a costume, babe you literally could've said I was right the first time."

You walked out the bathroom then you hid yourself behind the bedroom door frame, " are you ready?"

Mark replied with a simple yes and you stepped out with a exaggerated pose, Mark definitely was excited but not all that surprised considering you've worn many lingerie around him.

"Oh shit babe, you look so sexy" Mark said, he walked up to you snaking his hand on your waist squeezing the love handles.

"This isn't really the surprise though," You reminded you kissed his lips gingerly, "I'll give you a hint it's on my body."

"You got a clit piercing?" Mark questioned.

"No! What is with you and piercings? Is it like a kink?" You asked.

"I don't know it sounds like something impulsive you would do." Mark shrugged, you only smirked.

Mark grabbed your ass again, he maneuvers his way behind you and then you grinned even wider. His idea was to start teasing you but his eyes were glued to your ass once he saw it.

Your tattoo.

"Dude..." Mark paused his entire world stopped to look at it, "an ass tattoo.."

You looked at him over your shoulder biting down on your lip with a grin, "Do you like—"

"AN ASS TATTOO?! SHIT THIS IS GORGEOUS!" Mark exclaimed, he kneaded your butt in his hands just staring at the art.

The smile on his face was like a kid in the toy store, this may have made him fall even more in love with you.

"I got it a day ago, I had asked everyone if you think you'll like it. I was nervous about it, I already liked it." You explained.

"You like it, I fucking love it!! This is actually so hot of you," Mark paused for a minute, "wait..does that mean haechan saw your ass?"

"Uh yeah? Jaehyun saw, johnny, jungwoo, Yuta, Jaemin, and Jeno y'know all the ass guys." You clarified.

"Get on the bed." You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, you surely hoped that you didn't just make him jealous.

"Please I- I need to see it clearer, get on the bed, lay on your belly." Mark pleaded, you found his frantic state adorable as you silently obeyed.

Crawling onto the bed, laying flat on your stomach as Mark instructed, he sat on the bed sitting next to you. He started to grope your butt for the umpteenth time, he gave it a few smacks. Mark seeing the recoil everytime he hit it only made him hypnotized.

"Fuck princess, your ass is just so beautiful even more with this gorgeous tattoo. This was one of your best decisions ever." Mark gushed.

"I'm glad you like it Markie." You smiled at him watching his every move.

"Yo, I might just be obsessed."

─────

You were draped over his lap whimpering for him, your ass was beyond sore and you were soaked.

Mark gave you no mercy, smacking your ass repeatedly and teasing your folds. He held your head up with his hand around your neck, he entered two fingers inside you slowly he fucked you painfully slow.

"You're so wet from me abusing your ass, you like when I slap it like this?" Mark's hand collides with your booty again even harder than the last 20-ish slaps, he soothed the pain with generous rubs and grips.

He had let go of your neck and started to focus on your pussy, he had a cheek in one hand and had two fingers pleasuring you with the other.

You're afraid he's not going to keep his hands off of you for awhile because of this tattoo.

─────────────ꕥ

[arcplaysgames]

the plant's plastic, isn't it

yeah the plant is plastic

can't a boy and his cat just have a fucking summer vacation without being locked in a dream panopticon

its nice to see you girl but where the fuck is igor, in my recollection when igor has not been around, shit has been Fucked.

(I assume they couldn't get the VA for this gig, but also: i love Igor? yeah.)

It's fucking Zuckerberg, Reverie, come on. You shouldn't have installed that spyware shit on your phone!!!!

i'm gonna be real, the textures are NOT fantastic in this game, lmao. I am gonna peek at settings later. the aliases need some more anti juice.

there's a statue there?????

/googles

oh huh i.......... never noticed that. i just noticed the pretty trees. whoops. i'm a bad tourist.

Rather than directing us where we need to go to get the camping shit, the shitty AI is like "hey INSTEAD I am going to direct you to an idol event nearby" this thing is atrocious and we should uninstall it and go back to mapquest

also, I have made an Executive Decision. I am resetting my emotions on Ryuji to zero. I am taking my hatred and ire and all the times he made me uncomfortable as the player of the video game, and I'm putting them all into a box and putting those emotions away. I am going to give Ryuji Persona5Strikers another shot to not be a contemptuous little shitheel I want to eject from the story.

Mostly because his voice actor is doing such good work and I would like to like Ryuji.

But if he dehumanizes or sidelines Morgana, the deal is off, okay? Okay.

ANYWAY, Ryuji is like, hyped for this instagram girl.

Reverie only hangs out in coffee shops that have oat milk and attends shows for bands you've never heard of, he doesn't care about influencers.

OH WOW OKAY

Alice Hiiragi.... Hiiragi......... why the fuck is that familiar..............

oh, Hiiragi was the Enka singer who was married to Namatame in Persona 4 before the scandal went down. I wonder if that's relevant or just a coincidence.

oh okay so something screwy is going on and she's going to, like, kidnap all the people who have cards, or something? is she the white rabbit?

lmao no she actually references the white rabbit later. okay. i DO like her theme and vibe a whole lot, even if she is giving heavy Acid Trip Pastel Tim Burton Bad Guy energy. But Wonderland is honestly a very cool foundation for a neat villain, so I'm cool with that.

thanks, they're fake so everyone thinks i'm a soft boy when really i'm more punk rock than iggy pop at a ramones concert. hi.

I appreciate the consistency, Morgana, lmao.

uh "Keyword"?????

oh my god EMMA is just a reskinned Metanav fffffff

YOU KNOW WHAT reverie i am blaming you for this. You should have informed Morgana that you had a dream in the Velvet Room, since Morgana literally was born there and it might've clued him in to "oh hey maybe shit is going down" instead of being blissfully oblivious in vakittycation mode like a chump.

huh the anime cutscenes look way better in this game than in P5R actually. dunno why.

BUT YEP IT SEEMS ALICE HAS A PALACE. the Cognitive World is back.

oh okay that seems bad. so everyone who friended Alice with the EMMAnav is getting their hearts torn out???? what does that mean exactly? it seems bad. people need their hearts or weird shit happens, either Apathy Syndrome or having their cognition rebooted like in P5.

I am Concerned.

oh my god what is Happening there is so much on my screen right now

i think i might be bad at this oh dear

the first move Reverie learns is a pole dance, though, so I'm pretty psyched for that. maybe this will be the game where Reverie finally gets to follow his dreams and wear a skirt.

everyone is off their game at being a Thief i see

me IRL out loud: oh my god i love you

WHAT A FUCKING LOOK THAT'S AMAZING

i am sad she is probably just the first arc villain because WOW i am DIGGING this. god that FLAMINGO HEAD STAFF this is such High Kitsch, it's giving me everything.

asklfjds;af /laughing hysterically to self

okay persona 5 strikers we are starting on some high notes huh

reverie are you sure you aren't dreaming, man, this feels like a dream you might've had except the person stepping on you in stilettos would be a mean boy.

maybe that's Reverie's type. bisexual but mean-attracted.

aaaaaargh my Odin is outta battery, i gotta recharge it.

BUT SO FAR besides me fucking sucking at the gameplay THIS IS A GOOD START.

[aaliyawrites]

From Perfectionism to Progress: Aaliya's Story of Breaking Free from Procrastination

Hey there, I’m Aaliya, the pen with a story to tell. I’ve been with my human, V, since 2018, and trust me, it’s been quite the journey. I’ve seen her smile, cry, win, lose, fall in love, and sink into some deep pain. Her path’s been full of confusion, heavy expectations, and, well, let’s just say, a lot of procrastination. But through it all, she’s kept going. That takes courage — even if she’d never admit it.

You see, V’s methods aren’t always the best (and yes, sometimes they suck), but her heart is in the right place. This blog? It’s not about her past (at least, not all of it). It’s about where she’s at right now. But hey, a little context never hurt anyone, right?

V’s Battle with Perfectionism: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

Let’s get one thing straight: V is human. Shocking, right? You’re probably rolling your eyes, but it’s important. She forgets that a lot. In her world, her worth is tied up in accomplishments — money, looks, killer communication skills, friendships, or finding her "perfect" crew (think Luffy’s gang, for you anime fans).

She’s convinced that if she doesn’t check all those boxes, she’s just… not enough. She believes that if she doesn’t have it all, people will leave her behind. And if you’re sitting there thinking, "Well, that’s wrong," you’re absolutely right. But does she know that? Sure. Does she feel it, though? Not quite.

Knowing something’s wrong doesn’t mean you can magically stop feeling it.

Meet the Monster of Procrastination

For too long, V has been stuck battling Profecta — the monster born from perfectionism and procrastination. She’s caught in an exhausting loop where her efforts never feel good enough, and there’s always something more she thinks she should have done. This creates a void inside, filled with guilt and shame, which leads to procrastination — a victory for Profecta, her inner perfectionism.

Has she tried to escape this cycle? Absolutely. But she usually lasts 3-7 days before something breaks her rhythm. Overload or distraction stops her, and it takes her another 1-2 months to get back on track.

Love, Loss, and a Whole Lot of Mess

V, like anyone in their twenties, has loved with all she had. Her first love? Miss K. Yep, Miss. But Miss K didn’t return those feelings. She wasn’t interested in girls, in general. Even though V never fully accepted her feelings or confessed, they stayed friends. Miss K was her Safe Place — full of love, acceptance, care, and support But when their paths diverged, V convinced herself that she wasn’t worthy of Miss K’s time and never contacted her again. Also, those emotions connected to Miss K? Way too overwhelming for V to face.

Two years have passed, and V is still holding on. Too much? Welcome to the mess.

Did she try to move on? Of course! But she couldn’t bring herself to delete Miss K’s number. She’d still watch her stories online, and instead of deleting photos, she just hid them in a folder. Silly, right? But facing her feelings was too hard. So, she buried them under distractions.

Escaping into Fiction: A False Safe Place

When battling the Profecta monster became too much, V sought comfort in a form of escape — creating a fictional world where she felt safe and loved. It became her refuge, but soon it turned into an unhealthy coping mechanism. Instead of preparing for her exams during her gap year, she threw herself into fanfiction, reading it for 13-15 hours a day. Not exaggerating.

She isolated herself from the real world, cut off friends, and stopped replying to messages. Why? Because she felt she wasn’t enough. She’d suffered two huge academic setbacks, and even after taking a gap year, she couldn’t get back on track. The weight of her past failures made the present feel unbearable, so she sought refuge in a fictional world, even at the cost of her health, sleep, and academics.

The Turning Point: Letting Go of Miss K and Fiction

V cared deeply for Miss K and didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t mind if her escape ruined her, as long as Miss K was safe. But one day, V’s thoughts took a darker turn. She imagined hurting Miss K emotionally, just to make her feel the same pain V was feeling. It shocked her.

That was when V knew she had to change. She deleted Miss K’s number, erased the photos, and cut all ties. She even stopped reading fanfiction — something she had tried and failed to do before.

A New Battle: Seeking Comfort in Unhealthy Escapes

Without her fictional escape, V felt lost. So, she turned to another unhealthy coping mechanism. Let’s just say it involved content that didn’t make her feel any better. She started seeking comfort in role-playing communities, hoping to find real love and comfort. But it only messed with her mental health even more.

Journaling: A Ray of Hope for Healing

Despite all the struggles, there’s been one thing that helps V find her way back: Journaling. When she sticks to it, things start to shift. Journaling helps her process the chaos inside her head. It’s not a perfect solution — she’s had bad days that stop her in her tracks — but it’s a start.

This is why V decided to start writing on Aaliyawrites. Because, let’s face it, Aaliya writes ;) .Through this blog, she hopes to create a space where healing becomes possible, even if the path isn’t always straight.

Building a Community: Sharing Stories and Healing Together

Aaliyawrites isn’t just V’s story. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt lost, stuck, or overwhelmed. V wants this space to be a community where people can share their experiences, support each other, and offer advice. Healing doesn’t happen alone, and through this blog, she hopes to help others feel a little less alone on their journey.

Have you ever battled perfectionism? Or found yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of procrastination? If so, V and I (Aaliya, the pen) would love to hear your story.

George Herbert once said, "Good words are worth much, and cost little."

Your words might be the lifeline someone needs.

So, What’s Next?

V is still figuring things out, but she’s trying. Her journey isn’t linear, and there are still battles with Profecta. But every small step she takes matters. And through Aaliyawrites, she’s hoping to keep moving forward — and hopefully help others do the same.

Please, share your story, give advice, or drop a few words of encouragement. Let’s build a space where we can be open, vulnerable, and support one another on this journey of growth and healing.

Final Thoughts: A New Beginning

This post marks the beginning of something new, not just for V, but for all of us. Together, we can create a space where healing and growth are possible, one step at a time.

Signing off, Aaliya the pen (P.S. — Classic Profecta move: this draft was written four days ago!)

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Time Is on My Side

Welcome to “He's not even staying caught up on his reading: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

  Up today, s3e15: Time is on My Side.

    Dean's running out of time and Sam's getting desperate to save him, so Sam convinces his brother to head to Ohio to investigate cases of folks getting abducted and then waking up without certain organs. Secretly Sam suspects it's the reappearance of a zombie-like doctor their father hunted years ago, and he wants to learn the dude's secret to long life. Turns out it comes with a heavy price that Dean refuses to pay. Cue the gross-out organ harvesting scenes and fraught boys.

  Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

  Lor:

cool. gross dudes.

  Mace:

  HA! YEP

  Lor:

maybe one of them will get a supernatural comeuppance

Mace:

  it’s just possible

  Lor:

juuuust maybe

  Mace:

snork

  Mace:

  EW

  Lor:

yeeeeah

  Mace:

  any nurse worth her salt wouldn’t react like that, I’d think

  Lor:

RIGHT?

  Lor:

especially if she's an ER nurse or ER triage. come on

  Lor:

oh when will these demons learn that you don't insult a Winchester's family?

  Mace:

  he’s using the Dean Voice

  Lor:

he IS

  Mace:

  right?

  Lor:

like, don't they have a demon bulletin board on Hell Commons, or something?

  Mace:

HAHAHAHA

  Mace:

  oooof. Dean’s face

  Lor:

YES

  Mace:

  the other other white meat

  Lor:

LOL

  Lor:

"I mean, obviously, I want to hunt some ZOMBIES"

  Lor:

"excuse me. no, no we're very smart"

  Lor:

"you done?" " "I think so"

  Mace:

HAHAHAHA DEAN

  Mace:

  he’s hopped up on zombie excitement

  Lor:

he is

  Lor:

people are really bringing the sarcasm to the boys today

  Mace:

  they really are

  Lor:

"DUDE I'm EATING"

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

"antiques roadshow surgery" omg Dean

  Mace:

  YAS

  Lor:

SAM WINCHESTER stop trying to make Dean go off his food. poor muffin has three weeks to live

  Mace:

  I’m gonna have to go with Laura on this one, Sam. Maybe lay off a bit.

  Lor:

ooooo, Sammy. now you really know you've been bad

  Mace:

  *SNORK*

  Lor:

gaaaaah the heart monitor in the watch

  Mace:

  right?!

  Lor:

RUFUS

  Lor:

oh Sam

  Mace:

YES

  Mace:

  and yeah

  Lor:

oh no fraught brothers

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

  poor sweet stubborn yahoos

  Lor:

RIGHT?

  Lor:

"Sammy, be careful" "you too"

  Lor:

you two numbnuts COULD just say you love each other. the world will not end if you actually say that to your brother

  Lor:

omg his little grin to the security camera

  Mace:

  SNORK YES

  Lor:

"don't ‘look man, me’"

  Lor:

and he immediately switches to sir

  Lor:

adorable

  Mace:

you know, if we were in the bunker, we wouldn’t ever let the fraught get so far. we’d sit them down and not let either of them go off on their own all poutypants

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

OMG Rufus's grin when Dean pulls out the scotch

  Lor:

YES

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

"because I know things"

  Lor:

I love him

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

"ain't you a bucket of sunshine"

  Mace:

  ooof. DEAN.

  Lor:

RIGHT?

  Lor:

(also, serious fuck 327. if someone has been told his whole life he's gonna die awful or turn into a hollow husk of a man, you DON'T HAVE THAT HAPPEN AT THE END)

  Mace:

  (RIGHT?!?!)

  Lor:

he'll do anything once

  Mace:

omg DEAN WINCHESTER

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

LOLOL

  Mace:

  SAMMY NO

  Lor:

RIGHT?

  Lor:

Sam, this is where you turn around and get out and come back later with Dean

  Mace:

RIGHT?!

  Mace:

  I can’t believe we have to yell at him about this sort of thing AGAIN

  Lor:

silly Stringbean

  Mace:

  He may need punishing

  Lor:

SNORK

  Lor:

why would anyone want to live forever if all they do is find people to take their parts so they can keep living forever? like, he's not even staying caught up on his reading or anything

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHAHA OMG LOR I WAS JUST THINKING THAT

  Lor:

OMG I LOVE IT

  Mace:

  yas

  Lor:

OMG turning on the light switch with the gun

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

also the pinning to t wall

  Mace:

YAAASSSS

  Mace:

  HE’S SO STERN

  Lor:

he IS

  Lor:

oooof he lying

  Lor:

*her

  Mace:

Yep

  Mace:

  i knew what you meant

  Lor:

you good. I know you generally speak Lor gibberish

  Mace:

  HAHAHA

  Lor:

"whaddya mean no?"

  Mace:

OH DEAN

  Mace:

  yeah

  Lor:

oh Sam

  Lor:

oh god eye stuff

  Lor:

behind the sofa

  Mace:

YUP

  Mace:

EWEWEW

  Mace:

  smarty dean

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

"wakey wakey eggs and bacy" omg

  Mace:

  YAS

  Lor:

I don't get the mechanics of this ep. if he's immortal to the point he can get stabbed and it doesn't matter, why do his organs wear out?

  Mace:

  right

  Lor:

I’m not usually fussed about that kind of handwavey stuff, but this one bugs me for some reason? maybe bc Sam thinks they can save Dean with it?

  Mace:

  yeah

  Lor:

omg the screaming over the black screen

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

dang she is cold

  Mace:

yep

  Mace:

  it was so totally Dean’s idea to use the sex dolls

  Lor:

DEFINITELY

  Lor:

dang, Dean's kinda cold here too. not that I think there's anything he could do in three minutes

  Mace:

he kinda is

  Mace:

  i think him being hard on her is him being hard on himself here

  Lor:

ooooo yeah

  Lor:

also he has no idea WHY she killed her parents, so he thinks she's just a greedy person who makes deals to kill family for money

  Lor:

and we all know how that kind of thing would go over with him

  Mace:

yeah

  Mace:

  this is one of the places where his knee-jerk judgement makes him just a little less than perfect

  Lor:

yep

  Lor:

which is part of why he's such a good character

  Mace:

  just a little, though

  Lor:

only a SMIDGE

[theauthorsarchive]

Statement #6: Giftbearer 

[CLICK] 

This episode is going to be a little different in case I go insane. I need people to know I wasn't always like this. Sigh I guess i should explain huh. It started with the submissions, it was viewer submitted, usually I got twenty maybe thirty submissions a week.

But all of a sudden it slowed down. This isn't unheard of, but it was so sudden. I had gotten good reviews so I didn't understand. But then my friends and family started to submit stories. But it wasn't them, they were only the middle man. People I had never heard of all of a sudden had an interest in me and my work.

Something is coming after me, I don't know what it wants but I know it isn't good. I stopped leaving my apartment. The only person I talk to is Stacy but I don't know if she's in on it. I can't talk to my mom. I don't want to worry her…GOD this is the worst! 

knock knock knock

Zaine

Who's there?

Stacy

It's me, why are you screaming about god?

Zaine

No reason, I just thought I should share the holy word.

Stacy

Don't be an ass, can I come in?

Zaine

Uuh sure i guess. 

Creak 

Stacy 

Jesus you look like shit.

Zaine

Now who's saying the lord's name in vain. 

Stacy

Fuck you, but seriously are you ok?

Zaine

I'm fine just recording a podcast.

Stacy

Bullshit there's no script pulled up. 

Zaine

Im reading the script in my…heart. 

Stacy

Scoff more like the script up your ass.

Zaine

Look, Stace, I'm fine, just wrapped up in work and…stuff.

Stacy

Sigh fine but when you turn up hanging from the ceiling you better not say that no one tried to help you on your note. 

Zaine

Hehe alright fine…thanks shrimp.

Stacy

Yeah whatever. 

Creak kachunk  

…Sigh ok now what?

knock knock knock 

Stacy, I'm fine I just need some…wait that's not from the door.

???

Knock knock there's somebody at your window.

Clatter 

Zaine

What the fuck! Stace, Stace, STACE. There's a clown. Please. Stace help. 

???

I'm just gonna.

Zaine 

Get out of my house, go now…please.

???

No warm welcome huh. Well I'm Klovn.

Zaine

Get out get out get out. Please.

Klovn

I'll only be here a minute after that i'll get out of your hair.

Zaine

G-g-go…please.

Klovn

Snap out of it! I came bearing gifts.

Zaine

………

Klovn

It's your lucky day kid. All good things come in three and we have three gifts here. One is a book, here it's a real page turner.

Zaine

H-h-how fucking o-old is th-this shit. 

Klovn

Hell if i know but someone wanted you to have it.

Zaine

W-what's the o-other fucking gifts?

Klovn

For the second gift a job. We need another author.

Zaine

An a-author. 

Klovn

Yep, that book you hold someone wrote it and we need more of them. After much consideration and back and forth from the higher ups. You have been selected.

Zaine

W-why me.

Klovn

Hell if I know Stammer. I'm just the messenger. Well without further ado i'll be off.

Zaine

W-wait you s-said you had three fucking g-gifts. 

Klovn 

Oh right right, for my last gift consider this your badge of honor.

Zaine

Hey w-what the fuck are y-you.

SLAM

Zaine

G-get the fuck o-off me.

Squelch

Zaine

AAAAH MY FACE!

Pop

Klovn

Aaaand done. Alright I'll see myself out… oh and hey I look forward to working with you kid.

Zaine

SOMEONE CALL A FUCKING HOS-

[CLICK]

Uh while Zaine is in the hospital he asked me to record the ending of this shitty podcast. So yeah he's in the hospital with heavy cuts down his eyes and mouth, he said someone broke in and assaulted him. The police found footprints under the window sill but we live in an elevated house. It's over six feet to the window. Weird i guess but ever since Zaine started his podcast weird stuff seems the norm. He also said to bring his stuff to the hospital. I don't want to but what am I if not an instigator. How do i turn this o-

[CLICK]

[ajaxbell]

Everyone says you should watch Nirvana in Fire. It's so good, they'll tell you, like they told me. And maybe you too glanced at it on MDL or somewhere and thought, huh, maybe someday but I don't think I'm down for a heavy, serious, slow drama right now. But I let my mom (yep) and MsAndromeda sway me to start it. MsA and I added it to our cdrama watch rotation thinking it would be best interspersed with other shows, to like balance the weight of this surely slow heavy drama.

Whew we were not prepared. By about the third week we were rearranging our schedules so we could watch 3 eps a night in a race to the end. Just so desperate to know what was going to happen that we were forgoing sleep in a very work intense week. NiF just sucked us right in, chewed up our souls, taught us to love again, and spit us back out into a cold empty world where we were suddenly not watching NiF anymore. Because it was over. 😭 So of course I started it right over because nothing else could fill the void it left in my heart.

So yes, it's really that good and you really should watch it. Want specifics? Okay well it has the best costuming I've ever seen. My rewatch has been great because I'm discovering so much nuance and clever foreshadowing that I missed on first watch because I was often too busy gawking at the costumes to read the subtitles.

NiF has some of the best acting I've ever seen. Huge ensemble cast and not a single bad performance.  Some characters are wildly over the top, some are subtle and sly, and all of it works amazingly well on screen. Just incredible casting, and all people who are really bringing something to each roll that keeps elevating the show with every scene. Big bonus that you won't understand until you've watched but you get to see this guy ⬇️ make the most incredible range of facial expressions imaginable (and if you don't love him by the end, well I'm not saying we can't be friends but we might seriously consider if our values align after that).

The entirety of the story is just epic. Vast in scale, in cast, in costumes, in story. It is very intricately plotted, the level detail and complexity is quite intense. But at the same time it doesn't get weighed down. After the first couple episodes of figuring out who is who the plot is very easy to follow. And so much happens right from the very beginning. The pacing races along like you won't believe, pulling you along until you're so eager to see where it's going that you can't bear to turn it off. Despite the scale and complexity of the story, it also has room to breathe. There's long quiet moments that really reveal character, and some unbelievably great moments of truly economical storytelling. Like whole relationship histories in 30 second flashbacks.

Ultimately though it's just amazingly satisfying. It's a revenge story and revenge is had. But in very unexpected ways. At any given turning point whatever direction you might guess the story is going it never goes there, always ends up somewhere surprising. Also each little revenge incident is told like a mini heist? Like you see some of the set up, you see it go down, and then you learn after what the real machinations of the plot were. Absolutely delightful! Just made everything even more satisfying. Overall really exceptional storytelling and a well made production.

Does this show have flaws? Sure! The makeup is actually terrible. I feel certain there was no frosty pink lipstick at that period in history. And sometimes the base makeup is so poorly applied that the lighting shows off every bit of it in the worst way. And I don't like the first 30 seconds of the theme song. So flaws. Yes. For sure. But it's got great revenge! Epic friendships! Scholars and warrior princesses!  Incredible costumes! Amazing acting! Truly exceptional story, plot, pacing, and script. So the makeup, oh well. 🤷

P.S. I wouldn't say it has romance exactly but it has several love stories of various kinds threaded through it and a strong theme of loving people even as they change or as the world changes around you. It is also an intensely shippable show, if you're into that kind of thing. Hilariously I latched on to a very specific m/m ship super early on and the show just kept giving and giving in that aspect. It felt full of scenes tailor made for my shippy little heart. But then when I was finally done and able to peek at the fandom without fear of spoilers I discovered no one ever shipped my perfect little romance before!?!? Astounding. (So I wrote it.) And as fandom is also intensely personal everyone has their own take but I admit I'm a little stunned by the main ship in the fandom for this show because, whew, no, I just would not. To each their own. But also the show itself is whole and complete and can be thoroughly enjoyed just for what it offers, no shipping or fix-its needed. But it's got great possibilities it if that's your thing.

[walks-the-ages]

Yep, and people even still to this day will reblog "jokey" posts about "you guys don't know what friendship is!" Which in reality are straight up aphobic posts mocking the concept of QPRs --

Pretty much any post you see talking about cuddling with your friends, sleeping in the same bed, moving in together, going out on platonic "dates" -- if you see these posts mocking or speaking down to "the poor, sheltered people who don't realize this is just something real friends do--" these are all barely-concealed aphobia masquerading as "people just don't know how to have friends these days!"

Search the blog of any OP of these kinds of posts and you're bound to find more explicit aphobia. And they still circulate to this day!

Anyways, to end on a positive note, I got my first ace ring in highschool in 2014 , and have had one ever since (even if it's been replaced once or twice; the current one is scratched to all hell from work and looks more grey than black lol), and I now have a matching Aro ring !

[ID: a pair of white hands resting on a black fabric cloth, showing off a set of rings: the wearer's left hand has a bright white ceramic ring on their middle finger with two plain clauddagh rings on their side with the hearts pointing inward, while the wearer's right hand has a single black ring on their middle finger. The black ring is a fidget spinner, and the spinning band is scratched severely to show the plain metal underneath, with two darker bands where it spins in place. End ID]

The clauddagh ring(s) now plural were originally friendship rings, now defunct, but I like the way they clack together :)

You can find various kinds of white and black rings online, and I suggest going to a jewelry store or section at Walmart to try on different sizes to see what your proper ring size is; for me at least, all my rings slide off easily a good 90% of the time, and especially if you're getting a ceramic ring like my white one pictured (incredibly durable, I've worn it 24/7 including at work for a full two, maybe three years at this point and it has not a lick of damage visible! Which is saying something especially when you compare it to the 'black' fidget spinner), anyways if you're getting heavy duty material rings like ceramic or titanium, make sure it's sized so that you can wear it comfortably and securely, but it's also easy to remove.

This is your safety PSA that if you wear ceramic or titanium rings and you ever damage your hand/fingers in any way, remove your rings IMMEDIATELY in case your fingers swell! Hospitals have ring cutters on hand, but they won't be able to cut through these tough materials, so any time you have any kind of hand injury or anything that could cause your hands to swell, remove your rings immediately to prevent issues down the line--

This is also just general advice even if your rings arent these super tough materials; remove your rings (including wedding rings!) after any hand injury before swelling sets in to save yourself and your doctor a headache as well as ring repair costs if it gets stuck!

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.